#''i dont want to see you hurt'' and i want you put you two in a blender. what the hell
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astro-eats · 3 days ago
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Fragile
Gangle angst for you as a treat
(some headcanon stuff, like gangles expression glitching when her emotions get too much to handle. That'll probably come later Sorry if that makes it unenjoyable :(!!! But there's probably abstragedy crumbs so.. I may be projecting but who are you to judge >:( also sorry if the spacing is weird, I did it double enter button because it sorta just blends together in my mind if I dont.. Also tw: SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, gangle is DEPRESSED, gay)
Gangle hated the way she was so fragile. One small push could send her over the edge. She couldn't just keep going like she had been told to. "Keep going!" is pointless encouragement anyway. It wasn't easy. It wasn't a two word sentence that could be slapped onto every issue. It was hard to keep going. It was hard to find it in herself to even get out of bed. How could she keep going when everything that happened to her made it so difficult? How, when everything was against her, when everything was hurting her and pushing her to the point she didn't feel the want to live anymore, people expected her to keep going? They expected too much.
But she had to keep going. For her friends, for the people she loved, for the person she loved. That didn't change the fact that it hurt. It's unfair. Everyone seems to be so put together. While she was still in her bed, staring at the roof, just listening. Listening to her friends laughing. It was so strange to hear people laugh while she was rotting.
Eventually, the laughter and chatter stopped. She couldn't make out just when it stopped. It was there, then it wasn't. Was everyone asleep? What time was it?
She tried to stand up, to see what was going on. It was too disorienting to just stay unknowing. Her legs seemed to have given up, as if they realized they're just ribbons. She gave up with them, sitting helplessly beside her bed. Why did she have to be the one made of ribbon? She was already emotionally fragile, so why did she have to be physically too? Why was every odd not in her favor.
...
It was daytime now. Time seemed even more off than usual. Had she even fallen asleep? Was she just staring at nothing for all that time? What does it matter. She was gonna do better today. She had to. For their sake more than for her own.
She stood up again. Still weak, still fragile. She took a moment, just trying to get it together. She needed everything to be more clear. Less disorienting.
She walked to her door. She slowly opened it, unsure about all of this. She didn't want to leave. But she had to. She had to keep going. Keep going..
She left her room. Her depressing deathbed. She took a moment to adjust. It was bright, and Caine was talking about the adventure. Huh. No one had checked to see if she wanted to join. They usually did. Even though she didn't want to do the adventure, she walked over and joined the others. Mostly out of spite towards the fact no one came to her.
Zooble was the first one to notice her. She noticed them. They noticed each other. Their parts seemed uncomfortable today. But still, they walked over to her.
"Hey Gangle. You didn't leave your room yesterday. I'm sorry for not checking on you, but I thought it'd be best to give you some space..."
They looked sorry. She just looked confused. She never wanted space from them. But then again, she did. She spoke, her voice attempting to mask her emotional turmoil.
"I- I'm sorry for not leaving... I was... exhausted..."
Exhausted was an astronomical understatement. She felt depressed, tired, done. It looked like Zooble picked up on that, but they wouldn't try and force it put of her. They wanted her to feel like she can say things on her own schedule. But then again, they didn't want her suppressing it...
"Gangle, it's okay. Take as much time as you need. I'm here for you."
That was comforting. Before Gangle could respond, Caines headache inducing voice appeared. The adventure...
"Good morning my scrumdiddlyumptious superstars! Today's adventure is-"
Caine was so rudely interrupted by bubble. It's voice was slightly more annoying than Caines, if that's possible.
"We're launching you to sp-!"
Bubble was then popped.
"AS I WAS SAYING, Today's adventure issss..."
Dead silence. Gangle wanted to leave...
"I.. Haven't made a name for it. B- but! You guys have to deliver stars to a special alien! They lost 100 stars, scattered around mars! YOU need to deliver them back!"
...
The group was then shoved into a portal, sending them all shifting up to mars. They magically all had suits similar to an astronauts, branded with a C&A logo. Huh.
Everyone landed onto the planet, landing. Jax landed on his face. Ha. If only he was the fragile one. Gangle landed right next to Zooble. Ragatha, Kinger, and Pomni landed closer to the Martian they needed to speak to. Every one stood up and silently made their ways to the alien.
Ragatha was the first to speak to them. She tapped their shoulder, causing them to start crying..
"I- I lost my stars..! Please help me find them!" The alien was sobbing. The stars couldn't have been THAT important. But maybe they were. Just like Gangles comedy mask, getting taken from her. And no one seemed to care, except Zooble.
This wasnt different than the other adventures. Helping an npc, running around, being tired and exhausted and burnt out... Ragatha and the Alien went back and forth, talking.
"We'll find your stars for you! Right guys?" Ragatha spoke in a way too happy tone.
"Oh thank you!" the alien seemed to have changed their mood entirely. There were no traces of them ever being sad or crying. "The stars are most likely gonna be gathered together in groups!"
Ragatha looked towards the rest of the group, then back at the alien. Ragatha smiled that warm, fake smile.
Everyone had started gathering stars. The suits had a "star collector." You put the star in it and the stars magically go to the alien. That made it easier.
Gangle was being slow. She didn't care for the adventure. She picked up the way too bright stars, put them in the "star collector," and repeated. The repetitive-ness was agony. Pick up, put in, repeat. It left too much time to be stuck with her thoughts.
She sighed, giving up. She walked around a bit, ignoring the stars. At least the scenery was pretty. She could see the planets, the sun, earth. Home. She wanted to go back. Was that actually earth? Was that the humanity that was stripped from her, just planets away? It was silly, but it held some sort of hope.
But it wasn't real. It was a simulation. Despite how much she wished it wasn't...
She sat down, viewing the planets. The stars that weren't the overly neon ones they needed to collect. She laid back. This felt peaceful. Space was beautiful. She let out a sigh. This was refreshing. She wanted to hide from Caine and not go back to the circus. She'd keep Zooble of course. Speaking of Zooble..
Zooble silently sat down next to her, looking at the vast sea of stars and planets. The galaxies colors. All it had to offer. They took off the helmet. Its not like they needed it anyway. Gangle repeated their action, taking hers off as well. She silently leaned against their shoulder, looking at the peaceful view. Zooble was comfortable, sitting with their closest friend and viewing the galaxy. Words weren't needed. Meteors showered the sky, washing it with peace. But peace didn't last forever.
Jax took a seat next to them. He was NOT welcome. Gangle didn't like this at all. Not when this was the only moment of peace she's had for a while. Zooble seemed to pick up on that.
"Jax. What are you doing?" Their antennae were vibrating. It was clear they needed the peace too.
"Whatt? Am I not welcome?" He had his dumb, "innocent" tone of voice.
"You're not. There's a whole planet for you to sit and look at stars, go find somewhere else." Zooble was staying calm, just so they didn't end up putting stress on Gangle. That was the last thing she needed, and they knew it.
"Wow, zooby! I didn't know you could be this cruel. I was just tryna have some friendly bonding time!"
"Leave."
Silence. What else could he say or do? He didn't think of anything, so he just left. He seemed less set on annoying them today. Maybe because the reevaluation worked. Gangle regretted that...
The two went back to just looking at the stars. They felt serenity again. Maybe this would be a good time for Gangle to open up. Or would it ruin this? She hadn't spoken a single word to them on this adventure. She needed the peace of not having to talk. Not having to explain herself. But she also knew she owed them an explanation.
"Zooble..." She spoke up, deciding to just do it. Her voice was soft and quiet.. She needed to talk. She couldn't just keep it in.
"Yes?" They responded automatically. Their voice was also soft, but still carried their slightly raspy tone.
"I'm... I should probably explain.. I don't really have the answers to everything, all I know is that I'm.. I'm just exhausted. I shouldn't have locked myself in a room and not communicate anything, so I'm sorry."
Zooble took a moment to process it. Not that it was something that hurt them, they just didn't want her to be hurting. They spoke, their tone slightly softer and quieter. "Gangle.. Don't be sorry. Everyone needs time. You don't need to apologize. But I am worried about you. Could you tell me more? I'm not trying to push or anything, I just want to know how to help."
"... I don't know how to explain it.." Her voice was breaking. She was struggling, and had issues. She didn't know what would help.
Zooble silently wrapped their arms around her. They were being very gentle. She needed that. A lot. She hugged them, her face against their shoulder. She cried softly, her tears floating into space with the stars.
They let everyone else do the work for the rest of the adventure, staying together and grabbing onto this peace. Once all the stars were found, everyone got teleported back to the Alien.
"Thank you for finding my stars! I'm so grateful! Take this as a thank you gift." The alien then gave everyone a star shaped candy. Caine was adding in-adventure rewards? Cool. Zooble gave theirs to Gangle, which made her smile.
Everyone left back through the portal, reentering the loud and chaotic circus. Gangle seemed completely drained, despite only picking up about 6 stars. Zooble seemed drained too (they didn't pick up any.) Caine appeared, holding a buffet tray with that circular lid. You know the kind. He opened it, revealing bubble. It had its chef hat on. Gangle and Zooble both walked away without a word, not going to stay for that.
The two walked together in the hallways, a silent agreement to hang out and relax together. Once they got to Gangles room, Gangle collapsed on the bed. She just wanted to sleep.
Little did they know, Jax was planning things. He wanted to get Gangle back for the reevaluation, despite her already apologizing. (And he deserved it, but he won't admit that.)
A/N: ALRIGHT I am TIRED I'm sorry if this isn't the best I don't write a lot
I'll write part two if I don't get bullied 🙏
But uh the mask glitching part didn't fit anywhere so far (that means its gonna get so much worse for the sake of angst that makes me cry because why not)
Also notice the uh ASTRONOMICAL understatement part
Gays I did subtle foreshadowing 👅
also me reference
The alien is not me though
Uhm
Goodbye
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thequietkid-moonie · 2 days ago
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NSFW headcanons w/ Argenti
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[ Honkai Star Rail ]
⚠️ +18, This contain sexual themes, feel free to dont read if it makes you uncomfortable
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As an Argenti simp writing this was a need!! Still, I think i wrote it as bit softie, it isn't too wild or horny buuuut i liked it! I hope the person read this enjoy this as much as I did writing it ❤️
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Argenti is an incredibly loving and caring person, once he falls in love he loves with intensity but also with sincerity, always respecting your bounduries and trying to go at the rythm you feel comfortable
For him, his partner may be just as important as Idrila themself, your safety and happiness becomes one of his priorities, so, at the end, he will make sure that once you two start your sexual life together he will be taking good care of you
Argenti is a switch, he doesn't mind at all if you are the dominanting one of he is the one taking the lead, be would be happy with both but he does prefers to be in top on you just because that leave him a perfect view of your beautiful body, giving him the perfect oportunity to leave traces of kisses all over your skin and pass his findertips around your naked skin with such gentleness that is almost teasingly
Argenti is a complacent person, your happiness is his happiness, so during sex he will be more focused on your pleasure, if he is the one having the lead he take the time to slowly and sensualy shower your perfect body with love, leaving a trace of kisses along with praises, making sure to cover every part of your body with tender kisses and remembering the spots where you are more sensitive
He isn't the type who likes to make you wait, if he end up teasing you or even end up being so slow that it becomes a bit frustrating is just because he got lost in your beauty, and he even apologize
Argenti normally uses his hands to pleasure you before anything else, he makes sure to start slowly and with love, using his hands almost metoculously to help your arousal grow before even thinking on himself, and even so, just by being able to see you slowly get lost in pleasure is more than enough to turn him on, he swears that watching your body react and hearing your moan is delightful
Although, when you are the one taking the lead he is more than willing to do what you ask him to do, he will follow your lead almost devotedly, doing what you wish just wanting to get lost in the pleasure with you (even if it means that he end up overestimulated or being denied of reliase he will happily follow your lead)
Argenti is a complacent person, he wouldn't mind trying new things but degrading you is something he would never be able to do, there is no way he would ever be mean towards you even if you ask him, however he can be quite teasing and a bit mean without even realicing it, he is so focused on praising your body that he can just end up edging you or even making you wait for release while teasing you with kisses
If it is on him he prefers to do it slowly and with love, he wants to hold your hand and tell you how much he loves you as you two slowly reach your clímax together, he is the romantic type after all, but if you want it he can be less gentle, it will take a while to convince him because he doesn't want to risk hurting you or anything but if you really want it he will not be able to say not to you and will end up accepting to give a try, and despite always being slow and gentle with you Argenti has quite the strenght and resistance, he definetly has no problem handling it harder and faster, and, somehow, he has the strenght to resist a long time so he won't stop until both are completely tired and can't do it anymore
He actually enjoy it in both ways, depending on his mood is what he would prefer but he always puts you before his own, so you just have to ask and he will do it
At the end, no matter how it was or how tired he can be Argenti always makes sure to hold you once both are finished, his mind could be completely blank after all the pleasure and he still will get strength out of nowhere to make sure you are alright, after catching his breath he imediatly cuddle you and make sure you don't need anything, he even take the time to grap a blanket around both before thinking on resting
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james-spooky · 5 months ago
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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chiisana-lion · 10 months ago
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theyre like some kind of muppet
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ceramicbeetle · 2 months ago
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sonic and snufkin actually kind of feel like very similar characters to me. holding hands over “my personal sense of freedom and dedication to making decisions based on what I think is right is what matters most, and if you’ve built some idealized version of me in your head then that’s none of my business and it’s not my responsibility if the reality of who i am lets you down in some way”. also the deep connection to nature and all.
#N posts stuff#this is also a little why i am extremely picky about fanfic for these two#bc fic where like. snufkin finally settles down in the valley or lets moonin come along on his winter journey or whatever#they grate because it feels like you’re getting rid of a core of snufkin’s character for convenience.#‘he would not fucking do that’ style. i don’t like it.#like you do you it’s not a big deal it’s just personal opinion#the same for sonic. for him it’s less about being tied down in a literal sense and more to do with. conceptually#like sonic is a character very Unavailable emotionally and i dont think that’s something about himself he’s willing to change#i think that sonic is a very Internal person and his personal sense of freedom is such that like#he doesn’t Care what other people think about him. in sa2 he doesn’t seem to care that he’s been mistakenly labeled a villain bc that’s#none of his business. and in tbk he’s blunt about how he’ll happily become the ‘villain’ in other people’s eyes if he’s making the choice He#thinks is right. i don’t think his aversion to emotional sincerity or openness comes from some Hero Persona#i think he just doesn’t ever want to be put in a position where he has to navigate his friends emotions about his emotions#meaning like. being open about your problems opens you up to people who think they know better than you and want to force you to listen#to them ‘for your own good’ which i think sonic would resent on a lot of levels. so he’s unwilling to make himself vulnerable to that#but also even if someone isn’t Forcing you to listen you can still hurt people by ‘refusing’ to take care of yourself the way They think#is best. so their emotions become a coercive force intentionally or otherwise which sonic would also resent#and sonic doesn’t want to resent his friends. so he’s like ‘okay i just won’t put us in that position then’#i also think he doesn’t feel a need to Justify himself to anyone. so explaining his emotions or the Whys of who he is#feels like an attempt at justification that sonic would dislike and avoid on Principle even if he’s the only one seeing it that way#anyway ‘he would not fucking say that’ but it’s sonic having a genuine moment of emotional honesty#i do think that snufkin is more. Open to his own emotions though. and the expression of them#Comet ‘weeping over the sea’ moment my beloved. sonic Wouldn’t do that i think#i do think he closes himself off to his own emotions he doesn’t want to be tied down by Those either#which is why i also think that sonic as a character is informed by repressed/dissociative amnesia#like i Am projecting a little but i also think it makes sense for him. ‘who i used to be is none of my business i only care about#who i am Right Now’ which is another reason why he doesn’t like talking about his honest emotions#bc if he talks about them then He can’t forget them properly bc that moment is now in someone else’s head for them to remember and remind#him of. and he doesn’t want to do that so it’s for the best if he never admits to anything so he’s free to ignore and forget what he wants#In My Opinion. these tags got long i wonder if tumblr is going to delete a bunch lol
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lime1991 · 2 years ago
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more!
#south park#butters stotch#vic chaos#professor chaos#marjorine stotch#vampire butters#my art#sketches#i felt the need to include the drawing explaining vic#he is not the ''evil alter'' he is a protector who wants revenge on their abusers#also while im here: as i see it ''vic'' and ''professor chaos'' become two different alters at some point in the future#so vic chaos in post covid is not professor victor chaos. you know?#vic chaos in post covid splits from butters being grounded for 16 years. and so the prof victor chaos we have here becomes prof chaos#two different alters IN THE FUTURE as of now they are one.#and also vic will always be older than butters. the only ones who dont age are marjorine and butters after a point#i like to imagine as an adult. even in return to covid. vic is still the host of the system. so butters basically becomes a little who is#like at oldest maybe 14#i imagine vampire will grow with butters until hes a teenager and then stop aging around 14-16.#also i reference inside mari in the first sketch but really i think of this more like jane from doom patrol. how the entire system works to#protect kay. how jane becomes the host for years and has the pressure put on her not to do anything that would hurt kay.#like that feels like vic chaos to me. hes got pressure on him to not hurt butters. and theyve all got a job to protect butters.#sorry for the ramble ill definitely draw smth in reference to the scene from doom patrol s4 when jane gets high and apologizes to kay#and shes like ''im sorry. this is your body.'' and kay goes ''its our body.''
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dandyshucks · 10 months ago
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okay its going under a readmore bc its messy and a lot, i'll try to keep it succinct though. CW for some discussion of the ongoing g.enocide and things around that topic
so one of the friends is someone I've really respected and admired because they're a very intelligent well-spoken and kind-hearted individual. i've really been impressed with how they think about things and with their ability to write really fantastic essays (that they often share with this friend group because they're in school and enjoy sharing their work with us because a lot of us are interested in the things they write about). about a year ago, this person went through the process of converting to j.udaism and we were all very excited (and continue to be happy) for them. they've been really happy with the process and the community they've found and it's been really good for them.
however! this person has since stated they are a z.ionist! and they've said that it just means that j.ewish people should live in i.srael, it doesn't mean they support the i.df or what is happening in p.alestine currently. but I'm just... baffled at how they can think that non-p.alestinians occupying the country could EVER be done peacefully. it has ALWAYS been colonization. it was never going to be done in a peaceful manner.
do j.ewish people deserve a safe place to exist? absolutely! but I do not think, ESPECIALLY now, that that safe place can ever be located in p.alestine. I'm not the most educated or well-read individual, I've done a bit of reading over the past few months but my memory is shoddy and I consistently forget almost everything I've read, but as far as I can tell, this has been a non-peaceful occupation (...can occupation ever really be done peacefully in reality? i doubt it.) from the very beginning. p.alestinians were being kicked out of their houses from the start.
and to add onto the messiness of this all, I am the only i.ndigenous person in the entire group. I am the only one coming at this from an i.ndigenous perspective. and because of my perspective, I am ALWAYS going to be on the side of the population that first lived and existed in a place. i am always on the side of l.and back, i am always on the side of the first peoples. anything less would be essentially agreeing with colonization.
so it is just incredibly uncomfortable to be the only i.ndigenous person in this group while the rest of the group has discussed and expressed sympathy with this person for holding self-professed z.ionist beliefs (I do not believe this person has done the right reading to fully understand what they are saying, which is so strange because they are usually so good about educating themself). and I feel like if I try to say anything to argue or simply question this person, I'm going to rock the boat too much and make Everyone uncomfortable and the entire thing will blow up and fall apart around me. so my options seem to be either: a) say something, b) say nothing and stay in the group, or c) say nothing and quietly leave the group. none of which feel like good options!
and it sucks so much because there are people I genuinely do like in this group, and I've liked this one person and respected them since I met them, but they're really .... showing themself to be an unsafe person at the end of the day. I keep feeling like maybe I'm not seeing something or maybe I'm missing something, but I've looked at this from multiple angles and while I do absolutely see where they're coming from and even sympathise with some of it, I disagree with them on a fundamental level.
(also it seems really fucked up for them to be newly converted to j.udaism and endorsing what is essentially colonization and lowkey ignoring the fact that PEOPLE ARE BEING GENOCIDED RIGHT NOW so maybe we should not be discussing "but where are all the j.ewish ppl going to live :(" until the bullets and bombs stop at the very least(????????), while I've been indigenous and dealing with the consequences of attempted (and still ongoing!) genocide and colonization my entire life)
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flamboyant-king · 2 years ago
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We saw the beginning, now I be thinking about all the possible...uhh the word is like aftermath...epilogues? Seeing as the narrative will be left open ended, we can hypothesize and fantasize just about anything!
This one is Harvey carrying on with what he idealized as a normal life, getting married, having kids, going out with the boys, stuff you see on TV. But Cammy is still there, still a part of his life. And that's pretty neat. And also I cry.
#i went on a spree yesterday with a bunch of aftermathematics that made me cry myself to sleep#because no matter what. every single end. cammy will outlive harvey. every thing in between can be different#cammy leaving. cammy staying. reluctance. romance. etc etc. cammy will live on without harvey. and it will hurt them. a lot.#it hurts me a lot. im still crying over 'thank you for keeping me in your life'#cammy could be living in the garden until the very end. either of harveys life. or the tree they took care ofs life.#maybe cammy leaves but visits from time to time. or maybe they visit right before harvey kicks the bucket#who knows! thinking about anything past the narrative makes me cry#because we dont see that in media. we always get the good ending but that is never the end. what happens afterwards?#cause grow as we go's narrative ends after harvey finally reunites with his family in the philippines and decides#i want to stay at my house and take care of my garden. ill be sure to visit every year from now on.#and the credits would roll as him and cammy travel back. on the plane. the taxi ride. harvey getting the key in the door.#harvey putting cammy in the little makeshift bed he made. and him looking out the window of his room down at the garden. him smiling#and then it says end. thank you for watching. this took fourty two years to make oopsie whoops#god i go on long rants when its late. anywho compare to last time i made a possible ending#cammy reluctantly leaving as they both start to fall in love with each other#cammy willingly running away knowing harvey will heal from this and move on and be normal#this one here theres no leaving. there is no normal. its just living dude#grow as we go#sketches#harvey#camellia
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ashlynlovestlou · 11 months ago
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abby x anxious! virgin! reader
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synopsis: abby teaches her an anxiety-ridden virgin girlfriend how to have sex.
cw: NSFW , abby x reader , smut , abby talks you through it , thigh riding , sub! reader , soft dom! abby , afab! reader , dry humping , use of pet names
masterlist
abby's been your girlfriend for a few months now, but you've been putting off having sex with her. solely because of your stupid nerves.
the thought of being naked in front of someone, then hearing your noises and seeing your face and touching your most intimate spots that nobody has reached before. it made you panic just thinking about it.
but abby knew of your fears. she was patient, and she cared about you more than anything on god's green earth.
so when your twice-weekly date came around on a friday night, something felt off. you'd been horny before, and usually you knew how to take care of it, but not quite like this. your legs were tingling and there was an ache where aches shouldn't be.
of course abby, being the observant girlfriend she is, noticed your squirming halfway through the movie the two of you were watching.
"what's wrong, baby?" she asks, looking down at you with a furrowed brow.
"huh? nothing." you respond quickly, crossing your legs and leaning against her shoulder.
abby knew better than to believe you, "you okay? you seem squirmy."
"i'm okay." you respond, a little too quickly. her suspicions only rose because of your soft and nervous tone, "just feel a little weird."
"weird how? you got a stomach ache?"
"no."
"then what–" she stops what she's saying, a shit-eating grin growing on her face, "oh."
you don't respond, biting your bottom lip and unsure what to do. you could sneak away to the bathroom to try to get off on your own. but you know abby has been waiting so patiently for this moment.
"youre horny, yeah?"
your heart sinks in your chest. it took you a moment to realize how she figured it out so quickly. she saw your squirms and the way your thighs flexed every once in a while, trying to create some friction for yourself.
she spreads her thighs apart a bit, creating a perfect manspread. she taps her lap, "come sit. let me take care of it for you."
"abby, i dunno.."
"baby." she says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, "i promise i can make you feel so much better than your pillow can. c'mon, sweet pea."
you hesitate, nibbling on your bottom lip. your heart was in your throat, and you were fidgeting with your earlobe. one of your anxious habits.
she tugs your hand away from your ear, kissing your knuckles. she gently tugs you forward into her, "i won't hurt you, sweet girl. c'mon, honey." she guides you by the hips to straddle her lap. she rubs her thumbs up and down the soft plush of your thighs, "let me show you, okay?"
you nod, swallowing the lump in your throat. she takes her shirt off first so that you don't feel embarrassed to do the same. once she's down to her black sports bra she slowly takes yours off too, giving you time to stop her if you wanted.
but you don't, so she keeps going.
once the two of you are both in your underwear, her warm and bulky hands settle on your hips, "you okay?"
you nod, unsure where to put your hands. she notices this and laughs softly, "i'll walk you through it, okay?"
"okay..."
"tell me what you do to your little pillow when you feel like this, baby."
"i.. um.." you struggle to get the words out, your cheeks red from embarrassment, "i put it between my legs."
"hmm.." she hums, "then what?"
"i like.. clamp it there."
she plays with your hair, her entire hand embracing the side of your head, "and it makes you feel good? riding your little pillow?" you nod sheepishly, resting your head on her shoulder, "show me."
"what?"
"i want you to make yourself feel good. i know you wanna." she says, kissing your hairline.
"abby, i dont know how–"
she gives your hips a little squeeze, starting to guide you to grind on her lap. the cloth of her boxers rubs against the sheer fabric of your lacy panties, the feeling alone making you gush. you whimper as you feel yourself getting wetter. you're tempted to get off her lap so she doesn't feel the dampness coming from your cunt. she notices you starting to hover, so she pulls you back down. "don't be embarrassed. i want to see you feel good." she guides your hips to move a bit faster, and you moan in response, "can i touch you?"
you look at her, confused because she's already touching you.
she glances down at your crotch rubbing against her lap, then she looks back up at you, "down there, sweet girl. please, honey. wanna feel how wet you are."
you nod, your nerves starting to dissipate.
she snakes a hand down your stomach, her fingertips sliding into your panties. when the pads of her fingers meet your folds she groans, "oh, baby... you ever been this wet before?"
you shake your head, rubbing yourself against her digits.
"there you go, grind down just like that, mhm."
her words of encouragement make you speed up a little bit. she beams at you, so proud that her girl is finally comfortable enough to let her feel you in such an intimate place.
"gonna go inside, okay?" she says before slipping two of her fingers inside your sopping cunt. you moan at the intrusion, your movements switching from back and forth to up and down.
abby chuckles, kissing your cheek. she's so happy that she can finally see her baby in this light. on her lap, a moaning mess, "you're so pretty, mama."
you smile and open your eyes to look at abby. she pecks your forehead, rubbing tight circles around your swollen bud. you clean around her and she pulls you closer so your chest is flush against hers. she knew you were close before you did, guiding your hips to bounce on her fingers faster.
when you finally come undone you mutter tens of 'thank you's' into her ear. you'd made yourself feel good many times, but you'd never felt quite like this.
"thank you, abby." you whisper to her.
she nods in response, "no need to thank me. next time you feel like that, you come to me, m'kay?"
you hum in agreement, closing your eyes and starting to drift to sleep.
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luveline · 10 months ago
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Something for hotch? Maybe where reader gets hurt/a concussion on a case and goes to the hospital but refuses to tell him she went until someone else mentions it?? <3 you dont have to do it if you have something similar but i love your writing!
ty for requesting!! <3 —Hotch will look after you, even when you don’t tell him you need him. fem, 1.7k
cw reader has a concussion
Hotch rubs his face when he knows nobody’s watching. Hand over his eyes, thumb and forefinger working against a brewing migraine. It eases a little of the tension there, but he can’t do it like you can. There’s something in your hands that makes him want to call them lovely hands, such a quaint word. You rub the space between his brows with your thumb until his aching is gone or replaced. Fondness with its own heartbeat wakes whenever you’re near. 
You’re not near. His head hurts. He wants a cup of coffee and a shower and to call Jack. The cases are never over when they’re over, is the thing, and he can’t keep track of everything. He has to answer questions and patch holes now, before the work follows him home to take up space on his desk. 
He talks to police officers, chiefs, victims families and firemen and Penelope, too, anybody who needs to ask him a question. He tells Emily to go back to the hotel because she’s exhausted, and warns Spencer that staying too long will give him another headache. He’s surprised half an hour later when Morgan grabs him by the arm. Hotch assumed he went with Spencer. 
“Hotch, what are you still doing here?” 
Hotch gives him a strange look. It’s not as though Morgan hasn’t seen Hotch clean up a mess before. “Sorry?” 
“I thought you’d be with Y/N.” 
He tries very hard to look casual. The team are often better at pretending they haven’t noticed you and Hotch slowly moving together. “She went home.” 
“No she didn’t, they took her in an ambulance. She’s at the hospital, nobody told you that?” 
Hotch knows Morgan can finish up for him. He doesn’t even say where he’s going or what there is left to do, Morgan is more than capable of handling the unit, and he’s a phone call away. Hotch rushes for an agent with a car and tells them where he needs to go as he punches your speed dial into his phone. Number three, after Penelope and Jess. 
You don’t answer, it makes him feel sick. He calls again and JJ picks up. Blessed, amazing JJ. 
“Hi Hotch.” 
“Is she there? Can I speak to her?” 
“She went in for an MRI a half hour ago.”
“JJ, what happened? Why didn’t anyone tell me?” 
“She said she told you.” A dry laugh from down the phone. “You’d think I’d learn not to trust her. I love her, but she’s a liar.” 
Hotch could say the same thing. “JJ, what happened? What’s wrong with her?” 
“I think she’s embarrassed. When everybody was coming back out, someone stepped on the back of her leg and she slipped down the stairs.” 
“Who stepped on her?” Hotch asks. 
JJ laughs. Hotch wonders if they’re too far into working together to scold her for unprofessionalism, but then he remembers the Unit would fall apart without her and holds his tongue. He’d fall apart without you, maybe, and he could stand to be a little more defensive. 
He’s out of the car and into the hospital in record time. He follows the signs to the Emergency Room, gives your name at the desk, and doesn’t have to flash his badge to get told what room they’ve put you in. He would’ve, and he would’ve threatened legal action. He’s no saint. He’ll abuse the system (in innocuous ways only, of course) if it means he gets to see you. 
You’re in a bed but sitting on the side of it rather than laying down. JJ sits in the chair beside you, two contrasting expressions on your faces. You’re smiling. JJ bites her lip. 
She turns to Hotch with relief. “Hey, look,” she says gently. 
“You took a long time to get here. Was it the moon?” 
Hotch understands quite quickly. “Sorry. Nobody told me you got hurt. What happened to the moon, honey?” 
You give him a vacant look. Turning back to JJ, your hands vying for her arm, you hold her to your stomach gently and squeeze your eyes closed. “The light.” 
Hotch turns to the wall, looking for the light switch. It’s hidden behind other concerning tech, so he’s careful about what he presses. You sigh and draw his attention, wiggling back on the bed to almost fall off the other side. 
“Maybe she thought she told me,” he suggests, not scolding JJ, but unhappy nonetheless. You clearly aren’t in a state to make decisions for yourself. 
JJ rubs your arm. “She got worse after we got here. That’s why they sent for her MRI so quickly. She’s on and off with it, incoherent and normal again.”   
Hotch knows she’s concerned for you, but he can read her restless leg; she hasn’t talked to Will or heard about Henry in hours. “Go back to the hotel, JJ. I have her.” 
JJ gives you a hug, to your confusion, and bypasses him fast. He can hear her phone ringing before the doors shut from her departure. 
He admires her loyalty, he just wishes she’d called him two hours ago. 
You rub your eyes, the loose sleeves of your hospital gown shifting against the loose knot behind your neck, and he genuinely despises the idea that you’d been here, hurt, without him. “Can I tie your gown again?” he asks. 
You nod into your rubbing. 
“I turned the lights off. It shouldn’t be so bright in here anymore.” He rounds the bed to your back, where a great deal of skin is showing. He smiles though he shouldn’t. You poor girl. “You’re a little… stark.” 
“I’m trying to think of some fruit and milk,” you tell him. 
“Do you need help?” 
“Not for the fruit.” 
“But for the milk,” he surmises, bringing the ties of your gown as close as he can without strangling you and tying them in a neat bow. 
“I don’t think that’s what I meant to say.” 
He puts his hand on your shoulder, his thumb to bare skin. “That’s okay, honey, you’re having a little trouble now, but it’ll go away soon. If there were something wrong, the doctor would be here.” 
“You could be a doctor.” 
“I couldn’t. I don’t know anything about medicine.” 
“A very nice doctor. Big hands.” You breathe out loudly, more animated than he’s ever heard you. “Whoo, I’m cold. I think they made me naked.” 
“How about I tuck you in, would you like that?” he asks, leaning over you in hopes of you turning your head. 
You stare up at him. “You want to?” 
“I’d love to. I want you to be comfortable.” 
“My boyfriend might not like it.” 
Hotch tries not to sulk at another horrible symptom. You aren’t only incoherent, but amnesiac. And you’ve forgotten who he is, in a way. At least you’ve remembered you have a boyfriend. He hopes it’s him. 
“No? Why wouldn’t he like it, honey? I’m just trying to take care of you.” 
You visibly fluster. “You’re calling me honey like he does, and he won’t like it ‘cos he takes care of me. He loves to go to places but he doesn’t know where he’s going.” 
That second half is gibberish, he’s sure. Hotch puts his hands carefully under your armpits and manoeuvres you back toward the top of the elevated hospital bed.
You put your hand to your tummy as you lean back, and hiss as your head touches the pillows. “Ow.” 
“Sorry,” he murmurs. 
“Don’t tell Aaron I got hurt.” 
“Why not?” 
“I fell down the stairs. He’s never fallen down the stairs.” 
“I have, actually. Twice. And it doesn’t matter how you get hurt, I want to know you’re alright, so I need you to tell me.” 
He pulls the sheets up to your legs and over your lap. Tucks them tightly behind your back, hands lingering on your hips. He watches you look at him, your cloudy gaze tracking over his eyes, his nose, and his lips. “Aaron?” you ask eventually, lifting your chin. 
“Yes?” 
You breathe out an unmissable sigh of relief. “You didn’t come with me.” 
“I didn’t know you were hurt.” He squeezes your hip softly. “You didn’t tell me. But it’s not your fault, is it? You got hurt.” His voice falls into silk. “Is that warm enough?” 
“I’m glad you’re here. I need you to get my shoes.” 
“No shoes. Can I have a hug?” 
“Why?” 
“Just to hug you,” he says softly. “It might make you feel better.” 
You raise your hands clumsily like your fingers are full of sand, forcing him to see his arms under them and behind your back. Your cheeks align, his rough with stubble, yours warm with the heat of a flush, perhaps from the injury. Your hands flop down onto his back as he rubs two separate, loving paths on the gown and your skin. 
Thank god she’s okay, he thinks. 
“Am I stuck like this?” you ask. 
“Are you worried?” He taps your back. “I doubt it. We might have to stay here for a while, but it’s okay. Feeling better is the priority.” 
“I’d like to go back.” 
“Home?” 
“For breakfast.” 
“Are you hungry? I can find you something to eat.” 
“What?” you ask. 
You sound so genuinely confused that Hotch laughs into your shoulder, before giving the fabric a soft kiss. “It doesn’t matter. I’m gonna bring that chair over and sit with you, okay? We’ll wait for the doctor together.” 
He sits with you for hours, talks to doctors and nurses alike as they come to check your vitals and explain your scans. Your confusion doesn’t lessen until the night time, and even then you act oddly, bringing his hand to your mouth to kiss strange parts of his fingers. The skin shy of his nail. The underside of a knuckle, the curve under the meat of his thumb. 
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moonlit-imagines · 7 months ago
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Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s child
Tony Stark x child!reader
warnings: alcohol ment,
a/n: so i just really think that the concept of tony having the party kid as opposed to nerdy avenger kid would be a really cool idea to explore teehee. most of this does actually take place pre-avengers tho!!
prompt:
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you we’re quite the exhausting kid
“is this really how it felt to raise me?” -tony
many of nights he’d find your bed empty, you’d snuck out to go have your fun as teenagers do
“yeah, boss, i imagine it was” -happy
you always showed back up in one piece (like him) and besides a little slap on the wrist you didn’t get much discipline
actually, it usually went like:
“so, where did you go off to last night?” -tony
“a party” -you
“really? didn’t want to loop me in before you snuck out…again?”
“last time i told you about a party you showed up!”
“uh—yeah, but it’s not like i went all dad on you and dragged you away or anything”
“yeah, you joined the party and offered to buy teenagers more booze”
“hey, they all loved you after that! and they couldn’t get enough of my classic dance moves” -tony, jokingly doing the sprinkler with one arm “but seriously, let me know next time”
“we’ll see about that” -you
^the above conversion went about the same every time
sometimes for entertainment purposes you’d try a little harder, throw a few pillows under the covers to make it look like you were still home to put a smile on tony’s face
“aw, y/n reminds me so much of me” -tony
tony was still partying at this point so you’d flip the script on him from time to time
“you were out late” -you
“what are you, a cop? leave me alone. actually, can you get me some aspirin and water?” -tony
“sure, one or two” -you
“make it three” -tony
he would nurse your occasional hangovers (what a great dad!)
okay, he didn’t always know when you were gone. he was busy a lot of the time with his own business and extracurriculars so you guys did just kinda do your own thing for certain stretches of time
honestly you could be a bit of a klepto in the best of ways
but only to tony and only for fun
“oh, great, where’s my car?” -tony
“which one?” -pepper
“the black one!” -tony
“be more specific” -pepper
“the only one missing from my garage!” -tony
“yeah, i know, just wanted to give you some more time to think about it” -pepper
“i changed the code on the lockbox like, five times this week. did they hotwire it?” -tony
“we are talking about your kid, right? pretty sure they just hacked it” -pepper
“i am…so proud” -tony
you MAY have gotten a few close calls with authorities, but nothing tony couldn’t handle
and up until tony’s accident, the phrase “you’re going to give me a heart attack” was silly and endearing
“you might actually give me a heart attack, y/n, give a guy some warning or just say please for god’s sake” -tony, now comes with an arc reactor in his chest
“sorry” -you
“what—huh—didn’t hear ya, wanna say that a little louder?” -tony, very sarcastically
i tell ya when he got that armor u couldn’t tell if u were gonna flip out at him or invite him to a party
or steal it for…you didn’t even know what
but tony was 3 steps ahead of you when all this came to be
and you weren’t very interested in weapons, still just parties and dumb fun for you
“dad, i dont wanna be a nerd, will you just let me go out?” -you
“come on! just help me in the lab a few hours, what’s it gonna hurt?” -tony
“my social status” -you
“might i remind you you’re a stark? i think you’ll live if you miss one party” -tony
“you’d be surprised” -you
“hey, i almost died! give your old man a break” -tony
once tony got involved with SHIELD and the avengers he got even busier really
and in came the parenting advice from fury, clint, nat, steve
“hey, i don’t see you raising a teenager, back off” -tony
*clint side eye*
steve once tried to give you a good talking to, but you reminded him a great bit of your father with your stubbornness
“you done? i dont think you should be giving out any parenting tips fresh off the ice” -you
tony was kind of proud of you for sticking to your guns
especially around such powerful people
but you had a knack for that and could do it to practically anyone
mostly because you felt like an invincible teenager since you were raised by tony, who also thought himself an invincible teenager at one point
u tried to tone down giving tony grief when he started having panic attacks
since u accidentally caused a few by pushing boundaries and staying out for several nights in a row
cuz as tony gained more enemies, he thought you’d be in more danger
which was true
“happy, you’re y/n’s personal bodyguard” -tony
“no!” -you
“uh, cool? any fun parties planned tonight? i’ll be the designated driver. god knows i’ve been tony’s too many times” -happy
taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @johnmurphyisqueer // @captainshazamerica // @ravenmoore14 // @canarypoint // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @summersimmerus // @scarthefangirl // @bad4amficideas // @sheridans-dynamos // @simsrecs // @prettysbliss // @skdkdkckfk // @simp-legend // @wild-rose-35 // @nekoannie-chan // @evilcr0ne // @v0idl1nq // @ruvaakke // @thedarkqueenofavalon // @amirahiddleston // @beth-gallagher22 // @brutal-out-here // @rqmanoff // @elenavampire21 // @mymelodymia // @pheonixfire777 // @deanzboyfriend //
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aliceinborderlandsquidgame · 2 months ago
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An old feeling (and obsession) | In-oh x Fem!Player!Reader | PT2
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PT1
Warnings: S2 Spoilers - Canon violence - May be OOC - Obsess In-ho - Player 095 lives!! - Anxiety - Sad!Reader -
Notes: Welcome to PT2 if you come from PT1. I decided to divide this piece since I think the ending of PT1 was good but I also wanted to add this too. However I was not 100% in with how things were going in PT1.
This can be read as a stand alone piece.
In-ho wondered once more when his plan went south. His main goal was to destroy Gi-hun and show him how human nature never changes. He was not prepared to meet you, and for you to become so important to him in such a short period of time.
He did wonder if you had a secret on you, just a few hours you were still suffering from the Migle game but now here you were besides him shooting with rage at the guards, his guards.
Fuck did he feel conflicted cause each guard that you managed to kill did made him feel proud of you. Even if you were leaving him short-staffed alongside player 120.
"In-ho you copy?" Gi-hun's voice came from the radio. He took it out and responded then listened to the shoots and his ask for backup.
"Alright im going" In-ho responded screaming to the rest that Gi-hun needed backup, two players were quick to accept.
He took notice on how you stopped, you were still scared but then you also nodded
"Im going too"
"Alright, I will be going first you three follow me" He said then whispered to you since you were closer "Dont put yourself in front unless I say so"
The four of you advanced around the corridors he knew so well but had to fake he did not.
Finally they crossed paths with Gi-hun and Jung-Bae.
"I think we can go around them" In-ho lied to Gi-hun who accepted and gave him a extra charger.
In-ho guided all of you, making you stop or advance, making sure you were safe away from any suprised shoot.
Finally the four of you stood behind the guards, In-ho moved his head signaling the three of you to advance but you had to stay besides him.
He knew what he had to do, but did hurt him deeply, he could just wait that you wont hate him too much.
The shoots sounded so close to you that took you off guard, then you saw In-ho pointing his riffle at you, his face void from any emotion.
"In-ho..."
"Im sorry (Y/N)" Was the last thing you hear then you felt the back of the riffle on your head knocking you out.
He held you so you wouldn't hit the floor, he took the radio to make Gi-hun think all of you were indeed dead then changed channels and told his guards to put a end to this.
Near him a door opened, guards coming from it one of them saw your body and went to shoot you only to be stopped by In-ho stern voice.
"Take her to the infarmary, no one touches her, if I see even one hair out of place you will be responding directly to me, do you understand?"
The guard lowered their gun and nodded going to carry you.
In-ho saw your limp body be moved towards the infarmary, he knew no one would question his orders. He was more afraid of the outcome once you wake up.
"Sir" another guard called him with his clothes of Front Man at hand. He let out a breath, whatever the outcome was it would have to wait.
He still needed to punish Gi-hun and move on with the games.
But one thing was clear in his mind.
No one would hurt you, you were going to be safe.
Safe besides him.
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gutghost · 1 year ago
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Imagine you get cheated on...BUT- the cheater turns kinda...yandere?
It felt like an awful nightmare. Bile rising in your throat as you looked at your lover - the person who you loved through their highest and their lowest, the person who you invested blood sweat and tears into, the person you promised yourself to - undoubtedly pressing their lips to another person's. It took a hot minute before you tried to step back, only for you to bump into the doorway, causing a loud thump. The two looked at you, one with horror, the other with confusion. It took you no time to turn around and make a run for it. A hiccup making its way out of your throat as you felt a sob start to shake through your body.
It's been afew months, well. More then few months since that incident, and safe to say you have been doing...fine. not great, but fine. You've decided to collect your things while your lover was away from the house, your friends and family helping you out as you found a new place to live. It was bare bones, considering you didn't take the shared couch, or tv, dressers, not even bed. But it was yours, and you've been getting by. You'd like to think you've gotten stronger.
That was until odd things started happening around your apartment. Things were being moved, shit you know you wouldn't misplace. Your clothes were going missing, much to your dismay. You barely had any, so to lose even one shirt was frustrating. Then roses started appearing in vases in your home. Seeing as actual items were showing up you decided to call the police, and when it seemed that the window to your bedroom was broken, seemingly from an outside force, they told you to invest in better security as they kept a look out.
Which is why you were going to the store so late at night, I mean, what could go wrong?
bad decision, you later decided as you looked at the scene infront of you. Your throat tight, bile rising, just like that night, the night you lost your true love. In front of you was your lover - now ex - looming disheveled, gasping for air as their voice broke, a small, unnerving, almost crazed look, crossing their features.
"My love, my everything, oh please-"
"Dont."
Your lip trembles as you step back, your look of surprise quickly turning into that of anger. They had no right to call out to you with such fondness, not after what they put you through. The pain and suffering, all due to the person who swore to love you.
A look of hurt crossed their face at the sight of you backing away from them, as if you kicked a puppy. The idea sickened you. Quick to try and close the space once more as they struggled to walk straight they would stumble forward. Their voice trembling as they fell to their knees, a whimper coming from them as they scrambled to grab at your sweatpants.
"Please - my love I beg of you, I know what i did was sin, I know - I've never been more sick in the mind then i was that night, oh I was so stupid, thinking I could ever so much as THINK of another woman! Even more so after wards, how could I think I could ever live without you??? You! Oh precious you, the sun only shines when you are near. Those next few weeks were torture my dear, I've never wanted anything more then to RIP MY SKIN OFF WHEN I REALIZED MY MISDEEDS."
Their insane rambling continued as you tried to shove them off, tears starting to stream down their gaunt cheeks. Had they been eating? You wondered as you tried to get them off you.
"I'm...i'm better now though! I've never been thinking clearer, I came to a realization life isn't worth living without you! But by then- you...- you had already left, I tore through that house to try and find you but you had already been far gone. I asked your family, your friends - but all of them simply turned me away, your LOVER - isn't that what I am? I am, aren't i?? They should've...they-"
You couldn't listen to this anymore. A disgusted feeling filling your gut. What did you ever see in them?? You quickly shoved them away, a small gasp coming from them as you stepped away, your ex lover falling backwards onto the sidewalk. A look so firey resting on your face it could rival the heat from the depths of hell.
"You lost that right. You lost it the moment you took that person into your arms, the moment you brought them into our home, the moment you pressed your lips against theirs."
They seemed dumbfounded, sobs starting to wash over their body as they tried to sputter out apologies. But you had none of it.
"Did you get a kick out of it? Seeing me suffer? Seeing me jealous as you placed your hands on that person's? Your lips on them? When i left did you just go right back to kissing on them? Fucking them??"
You spat at them, your ex lover crying their heart out as they struggle to breathe. Whether it be from guilt or heartbreak, you weren't sure. They shook their head as they continued to cry, trying once again to reach out to you, to hold onto you for that comfort you once so readily gave them. But you stepped back, putting space between you once more. A scoff coming from you as you did so
"Baby please don't do this to me, please please please-"
Their voice wavered heavily. Some part of you, the part buried deep down in your heart, ached at the sight of them so broken down. They looked ill, both mentally and physically. But what done was done. You quickly turned on your heels as you made your way home. Your ex lovers cries filling the street as he urged you to come back, to not leave him. To not abandon him.
Maybe some sick part of you felt good that you left them a blubbering mess, after all. They rept what they sown, did they not?
Little did you know, oh how blissfully unaware you were. They were gonna get you back, one way or another. They will have you back in their arms, with all those roses they left in your apartment in pretty vases all over your newly bought home in the woods, far from everyone.
They will have you be their's again.
that corpse that once used to be their side piece left rotting under the concrete of their basement proves it.
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racew1nn3rs · 9 months ago
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─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀
max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau
��� summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...
based on this request <3
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ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!
23,560 comments
user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear
user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩
user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG
user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow
user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen
user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations
ynusername damn right we're not 😏
user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT
user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak
user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op
user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣
user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻
user11 OH MY GOD???
user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔
ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking
user10 sorry queen the grind never stops
ynusername NO SHOT
maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼
user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️
user14 brother eughh
user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas
ynusername thank you max!!!
user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025
user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n
user18 f1 driver!!
user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵
user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat
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user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here
user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy
user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music
user20 17.172.224.47
user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??
user20 melinda charleton
user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!
user20 you want me to do you too???
user22 no we good 😃
user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this
user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨
user25 WHOOOOO 😧
user24 ... that wasn't right was it
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user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance
user27 have u seen the marble-carved  goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔
user28 please no i feel ill
user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW
user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed
user31 jesus christ
user32 first taylor, now this
user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions
user34 what can i say it's an art
user35 i do not see 👁️👄👁️
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user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls
user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)
user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)
user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱
user40 this is so random too like what 😭
user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building
user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔
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user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN
user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧
user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma
user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️
user47 ENOUGHHHH
user48 ain't no way in hell 😭
user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe
user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others
ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!
15,267 comments
user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO
user52 oh!
user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space
user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO
user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT
user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music
user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet
user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)
user56 WOMP WOMP
maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented
ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me
user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY
user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE
sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦
ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️
user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM
user61 do y'all need a third!!!!
user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment
user63 i just put u on a watchlist
user62 🧍🏻‍♀️
landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️
ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️
user63 what the fuck
user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????
ynusername brother eughhhh
landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????
user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS
user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened
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maxverstappen1 posted to his story!
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(caption: beautiful show)
22,456 replies
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user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭
user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT
user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....
user70 YES!?!?
user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her
user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001
user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧
user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf
user75 we do not care
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ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3
25,788 comments
user76 oh. my. fucking. god
user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ
user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤
user79 i'm in mourning
sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵
ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE
maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??
sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU
user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS
user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔
maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼
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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3
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captainshyguy · 10 months ago
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its because theyre the closest thing the fandom has to twinks and fandoms explode if they cant ship two little skinny guys or something
I finished Super Paper Mario earlier today for the first time after 16 years of owning and adoring the game and
I have a question for any Limentio / Dimigi shippers out there.
Why
#sorry my friend sent this to me and we both laughed bc like🤝yeah same. anyway this is my mean and mostly true answer#my answer where i give people benefit of the doubt is- (and i apologise for the length lol)#a lot of people are already drawn to spm because ofthe whole 'its the darkest mario game' and the high stakes of it#so getting to explore a fan favourites “dark side” is something people are already interested in- which is why mr l is so popular#and then dimentio usurping count bleck and in a lot of peopels eyes like 'being the chessmaster' gives him a layer of danger and intruigue#which is why he's so popular too. then u put these two 'heehee dark themes- high stakes' cocepts together into super dimentio#people lose their minds. they see it as a window to explore a dark side of a beloved character- with dmentio being a sort of corrupter i th#then it spirals from there into....whatever the hell they do with them. i dont get the fluff lol#personally i think that 'idk i get gay vibes from them and maybe somethig happened in the time they worked together' isnt like...#idk its a bit of a leap but its not the wildlest leap this fandom has made. people do 'heehee they hate each other- enemies to lovers' a lo#but i think i ur gonna do that u really need to own the ick of it. examine what it means#the 'guys. luigi isnt...himself right now he is literally hypnotised' like if ur gonna use that to further their charcters#by using it as a device to show dimetio cutting his bridges with people and deciing he's gonan hurt everyone aroudn him and do what he want#and then use it later for luigi to have to recover from and examine- both the trauma of being taken advantage of in such a moment#and 'why was hypnotised me about that. why did he go along with it' etc like idk i can respect that. bc its not abt the romance#its abt what it does to them and says abt them#BUT THE CRUCIAL THIGN IS YOU CAN GET THAT FROM OTHER PAIRINGS TOO!!!!!#you want to explore dimentio deeply hurting and manipulating someone to see how far he's falling? o chunks. floro sprout#you want luigi angst about him getting hypnotised and recovering from that. NASTASIA DID IT FIRST!!!#but o chunks is a big ole bear and nastasia is a woman and the fandom just arent into them. they have the least attention by far#and at the end ofthe day a lot of fans will go back to the guys theyre into- which...is usually the skinny twinks#i do NOT get dimigi outside of that shallow answer though im sorry. luigi just doesnt like him its entirely twink corruptign yaoi#or 'redeeming dimentio through luigi bc i want him to live or something'#also i say this as both a twink and a big enjoyer of mlm myself lol (and someone whos fave is dimentio)- it just doesnt make sense#i guess at my most charitable i could see- 'the person who dimentio hurt the most helpig him redeem himself' could be compellig#but that leading to romance doest interest me at all and also i think luigi deserves better than to have to reform that bastard lol#also i think its way more interesting if he never comes back lol i like the tragedy of it. he just hurts everyone around him#and then he's gone and they have to live with it#also side note if any shippers want to debate this with me i do not sorry <3 im giving my perspective then running thank u#mario
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i-cant-sing · 7 months ago
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Time Traveller AU part 10
Part 1 is here. Part 2 is here. Part 3 is here. Part 4 is here. Part 5 is here. Part 6 is here. Part 7 is here. Part 8 is here. Part 9 is here. Time Traveller au masterlist is here. Check out my MASTERLIST for more!
Part 11 is here!
You dont know why you're crying.
No.
You do know why you're crying. You dont understand why you're crying for that reason.
You've been sitting out on the balcony after Mehmed confessed to you, crying like a child who'd been yelled at by their favourite teacher- quietly and shamefully.
"Y/n?" You quickly wipe your tears away as you hear him.
Ibrahim tilts his head as he walks in front of you, his concern growing as he sees your teary eyes on your veiled face. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"
You sniffle, shaking your head.
"Then?" He notices your mismatched niqaab, the red color reminding him of the torn shirt of Mehmed he saw earlier. "Did something happen with Mehmed?"
You freeze, then nod.
He takes a deep breath before sitting beside you, keeping a respectable distance between you two.
"I know you might be thinking that he's a prince so he wont get in trouble for what he did, but I'm the grand vizir and the sultan's closest friend." He looks at you. "I can help you if you tell me what he did to make you cry."
"I... I am not crying because of Mehmed." You pause. "Mehmed confessed his love for me."
"And you're overwhelmed? Or do you not want his love?" Ibrahim asked cautiously.
"Of course I dont want his love, its just- it reminded me of someone." You close your eyes and immediately those blue orbs flash to your mind. "Someone from... the past."
"Did you love him?" Your eyes snapped open.
"What?"
"This person you talk of... did you love him?" Ibrahim asked.
"I..." Did you? Did you really love him? Even after what he did to you, did you still love him?
"I used to." You sniffled. "You dont love him anymore? Then why are you crying?"
Yeah. Why am I crying if I dont love him anymore?
"I guess... I just miss him. And the memories we made, the way he made me feel." You whisper.
Ibrahim looked ahead at the dark sky, clear and filled with stars. "Go to him then."
You shake your head, frowning. "I cant." You wipe the tears from your eyes. "Pasha, how do I... how do I stop Mehmed? I cant, I cant be with him. In any capacity."
"I'm working on finding a way out for you, Y/n. I promised I'd keep you safe, didnt I?" Ibrahim's determined face put you at ease somewhat.
"Just tell me."
"In due time." He looked back at the sky. "The weather is nice tonight, not humid like yesterday."
You follow his gaze to the sky. "It rained earlier." You take a deep breath, trying to inhale the sweet earthy smell of rain.
There's a word for it. Petrichor.
You looked at the man beside you when you felt movement. Ibrahim had removed his turban and loosened the collar of his kaftan. He ran a hand through his thick hair with his eyes closed as a breeze of air passed, and you saw his shoulders relax.
The wind blew your niqaab as well, lifting it just long enough for you to smell the cool air.
"You should feel air as well." He said with his eyes closed. "It'll relax your mind."
He was referring to your veil and hijab. "You have the privilege to do that. Dont show off." You smiled.
He opened his eyes and stared at you. "I'm all relaxed now. You can enjoy the privilege now." He wore his turban back and fixed his collar. "Go ahead. I'll keep a look out." He stood up before smiling down at you with... warmth. Kindness.
"Enjoy these moments when you can, Y/n. They're rare."
You watched Ibrahim walk away and true to his word, he turned away from you and kept guard while you cautiously removed your niqaab first, and then loosened your headscarf.
You closed your eyes as the cool air hit you gently. You couldnt help the sigh that escaped you when you felt it on your neck, cooling it. And how long had it been since you felt the air breeze in your hair?
Too long.
After a few more moments in silence, you finally stood up after wearing your hijab and veil and turned to him.
Ibrahim turned around when he felt your presence behind him.
"Feeling better?" You nod. "Significantly. Thank you, pasha."
He gave you a courteous smile with a slight bow of his head.
Ibrahim escorted you back to your room and bid you good night before returning to the balcony.
He sat down on the same bench as the cold wind breezed, and he closed his eyes, your face haunting his mind.
When he opened his eyes, he saw the dark clouds in the sky. A few moments later, it began raining again.
Ibrahim raised his hands to make a prayer, after all- it is said in hadith that supplication made during rain is not rejected.
With sincere intention, he made a silent prayer in his heart.
"Oh Allah, make space in Y/n's heart for me.
I would like to reside eternally in my home country.
Amen."
-
The next two weeks went by... not uneventful. You tried your best to avoid the royals, but with Mihirmah bringing in Mehmed everytime you came to teach her, and Mustafa bringing you more broaches (which Mihirmah took from you everytime) because he thought they suited you (you're pretty sure this is his way of staking his claim on you, there's no way he doesnt know Mihirmah is the one taking them when she openly flaunts them in his face.)
Baris has been as annoying as ever, pestering you for gossip and to tell him "which prince you like more so that he can win the bets".
"So what exactly did you say when sehzade Mehmed said "I love you?" Baris asked as he looked through your closet.
You were looking out the window. "Thank you."
"Thank you? You said "thank you?" God, how dumb are you?" He shook his head while you smiled, looking outside but your mind was somewhere else, somewhere behind in time.
"I love you." He repeated, eyes still twinkling at how you continued to become flustered.
You opened your mouth and then closed it like an idiot, not knowing how to reply.
"Thank you." You finally said, looking anywhere but at him. He burst into a fit of laughter. "Oh god- I tell you- I love you and you say "thank you"? You really are something out of this world!" Baldwin teased you, making you huff.
"Y/n!" Your head whipped around the annoyed eunuch. "What?"
"We have to go to the harem." "Harem? Whatever for?"
"To make you learn a sensual dance for the princes- what do you think?! Its Friday! The sultan and sehzade have gone to the mosque for the Friday prayer- they'll be coming back soon and we have to welcome them." You scowled but followed him outside before halting.
"Both of the sehzade are gone?" Baris nodded.
Oh good. "Baris, you go ahead. I'll join you later." You turned around to leave but he grabbed your forearm.
"Absolutely not! Where are you going? What are you upto?" He gave you a pointed look.
You tried to pull your arm away. "Baris please-"
"No." He tightened his grip. "You might as well tell me because I'm not letting you go alone."
Your shoulders slumped.
"I have to find something." He raised a brow. "Do you remember that room where you found me and sehzade Mustafa? The one where his loot from his last conquest was present?" He nodded.
"Well, I need to go there again." "Why, exactly?" You resisted the urge to inhale as you told him your excuse.
"Because... I have to look for a present for Mustafa."
"What?" His grip on your arm loosened.
You shrugged. "You were right. I like Mustafa and if I plan on marrying him one day, I need to find something to impress him. So if I were to look at his loot, perhaps I'd be able to find what he likes."
Baris studied your face for a few moments before grinning. "I knew you were a just keeping this pious woman charade for personal gain." You frowned at his statement. "Fine. But I'm coming along."
"No, you dont need-"
"I wasnt asking." He began walking ahead of you. "Besides, the loot was moved from that room."
You followed behind him. "Moved where?"
The corner of his lips quirked up. "To sehzade Mustafa's room." He turned to look at your drained expression, and waved you off. "Its fine. I'm with you, arent I? The guards will let us pass through and everyone in the family is busy getting ready to welcome the sultan. No one will catch us."
True to his word, none of the guards or servants stopped you two from entering the Mustafa's wing of the palace. They all seemed to either respect Baris a lot to let you two breeze past them, or they feared him. And knowing Baris and his knowing eyes that probably have dirt on everyone, you knew the latter was true.
"Baris." You stopped him from following you inside Mustafa's room. "You stand here and keep watch. I'll go check."
"Keep watch? What are you- trying to steal his undergarments-" You slapped a hand on his mouth. "Do you ever shut up?" You snapped at his amused eyes. "Stand here and keep watch." You ordered before entering the room.
It was true that you did indeed need Baris to keep a look out for anyone walking in on you, as it has happened way too many times now, but you also needed him out of sight when you got rid of the stupid portrait.
Ah yes, your portrait that Baldwin had so lovingly commissioned and had managed to survive over 400 years and you needed to get rid of before it became a part of history permanently.
You looked around his large room, spotting a cloth covered pile in the corner. You marched to it and lifted the pile, recognising the loot. However, you didnt find your portrait in it.
Where is it?
You turned around to leave, only to freeze at the sight of the person standing there.
Mahidevran sultana.
All the other times you'd been caught, by Suleiman, by Mustafa- you always dropped your head into a courtesy. But now, with Mahidevran standing there with no expression on her face yet the daunting aura coming off her in waves- it had you frozen in spot.
You opened your mouth. Then closed it.
What do you say when you're caught red handed in a prince's chambers?
Mahidevran took a deep breath.
"Have you stolen it?"
You blinked.
"S-sultana?" Stolen what?
She raised an eyebrow, clasping her hands as she continued to put you under her sharp gaze.
"Have you stolen what you came for? What exactly were you looking for? Mustafa's gold? His jewels?" She tilted her head. "Dont try to deny that you didnt come here for nothing-"
"I did." Your throat went dry as her eyes narrowed. "I did come here for something. But I'm not stealing anything. I... am trying to earn it."
"And what exactly would be that?"
"Sehzade Mustafa's respect." God, where do I come up with such bull-
It was Mahidevran's turn to blink. Earn Mustafa's respect?
"I... dont know if I love the sehzade, but I do admire him. A lot. He has been very kind to me, very civil to me and... he's gifted me a lot. Not just with his expensive jewels, but also with his company. I just thought- I just wanted to return the favour. And I came here to learn more about him- to find out about his likes and dislikes."
At the end of your explanation, a small smile formed on Mahidevran lips.
"Then you should've just come to me." She walked upto you, her eyes much gentler than the hostility they held just moments ago. "Who would know him better than his own mother?"
You could only offer her a courteous smile and nod in agreement.
"Come now. I will teach you everything there is to know about Mustafa. I know him better than I know myself." She beckoned you to follow her, her heart beaming with pride at you finally making a real effort to pursue her son. Soon everything will fall into place, Mustafa will marry you and you'll give him his heirs and Suleiman will make him the next sultan and then finally, Mustafa will kill his brothers and Hurrem's reign will end.
As you walked out of his chambers, you saw Baris smirking and you knew instantly he didnt alert you about Mahidevran's arrival on purpose. He set you up. Just like Isabella, he will betray you every chance he gets.
But... where did the portrait go?
-
"Would you like to go out today?" Mustafa had decided to take you out of the palace, after Mahidevran told him to spend more time with you. He knew taking you out would make you happy, at least you dont seem to be so tense with him. With his father's permission, who was more than happy to accompany Mustafa to his province- Manisa for a few days. After all, you did deserve a short break from teaching his little sister.
And with Mehmet gone on a conquest, it was hard for Mihirmah alone to stop either of you from leaving and spending time together.
You happily agreed, at least this would give you more freedom to explore escape routes and fix your time machine?
Once again in disguises, Mustafa gave you a small tour of his province and you had to admit, he did a fantastic job managing Manisa all by himself. You definitely saw his administrative skills, how he improved the economy and even prepared the province for any future disasters.
After handling some official matters, Mustafa was surprised to see you waiting for him at the stables.
"Would you like to go hunting?" You asked, brushing the horses's mane.
Hunting? As a woman?
"You know how to hunt?"
"No."
"Then...?"
"I may not know how to hunt, but you do. So... shall we?" You asked patting the horse.
Mustafa helped you up on the horse. "Are you sure? Its not season yet, so it'll be hard to find any animals to hunt."
"Who said anything about animals?" You chuckle before galloping away.
It took him a few moments to shake out of the shock to understand your challenge. And then he mounted his horse and sped off after you.
Mustafa had never chased after anyone, much less a woman, but he had to admit- this was fun. And more than that, he was actually surprised at how good you were at riding. Your head leaned down into a straight line with your back, your calculated decisions when to stand and when to sit, you were far ahead of him. And he understood it wasnt your first time on a horse either.
Fortunately for you, you had both practical knowledge of physics and streamlining, as well as hours- DAYS of horseback riding from your time in Jerusalem. Just about four centuries ago?
However, Mustafa was still more skilled in horse riding and after finally catching upto you, he all but brought you to a halt when he blocked your path.
You both stared at each other, heaving and trying to catch your breath before breaking out into a laughter.
Thats how the two spent most of your time, riding and hunting small animals, Mustafa being in his element when he taught you archery, holding you close yet not uncomfortably, as he helped you aim bullseye. And somehow, you would soon hit the bullseye in his heart.
"And then, Qasim took the blame for me!" Mustafa laughed as you told him about your shenanigans from your childhood. You two were having dinner and after spending so much time together, making conversation had become so much easier.
"He took care of you, didnt he?" You nodded, smiling fondly at the mention of Qasim.
"As all elder brothers do, he was the best." Noticing the sadness in your eyes, Mustafa carefully asked you.
"So, you have no family left?" You shake your head. "No, they were all killed by some bad people. I only narrowly escaped them and found refuge with my grandparents before... before the Janissaries came and took me from them. And... here I am now."
Mustafa's heart wrench slightly. He knows the importance of family.
"I could take you to see them." He offered, but his expression turned puzzled when you turned him down.
"I appreciate that but... no. I cant meet them again, it'll be too much for them. The wound is still fresh, Mustafa. And if they were to see me again only to be taken away from them, accompanied by the Janissaries- they wouldnt recover. I wont hurt them again." You whispered the last part, looking off into the distance as you remembered the old couple who helped you.
"Maybe... maybe when we return home, we can go to the market again. Maybe I'll see them there, just from a distance?" Mustafa nodded at your request. How could he say no to such an innocent ask?
"How do you like Manisa?" Mustafa changed the subject.
You nodded in approval. "I had heard about how well you've done here, but when I saw the city... I must say I am very impressed, sehzade."
"You sound surprised. Did you not think I would be a good governor?" He teased as he poured you some tea. You chuckled.
"I am not surprised. I am proud." He froze. "It definitely takes a lot to run a province properly, especially when you have a lot of pressure on you, not just from the sultan but from the very people you're responsible for. And while you have managed the finances as well as put a stop to all revolts, crushed the rebels- all amazing feats, but what really stands out for me is that you've earned the love."
"Love?" "Mmhm. Its very easy to be in a position of power and make people fear you. But its much harder to have their love. And... I'm very pleased to tell you that I have not heard one word, not a single person who had anything except praises for sehzade Mustafa."
"I am very proud of you, Mustafa." You stated, your eyes smiling from your veil.
Mustafa felt as if time had stopped.
I am very proud of you, Mustafa.
Those words, that praise... isnt that what he's yearned for all his life? Sure, Mahidevran may have said those words to him many times, but she's his mother. She always sings his praises.
I am very proud of you, Mustafa.
His father has never said it to him, but he's heard Suleiman say it to Mehmed.
With his younger brother, Mehmed, Mustafa understands that Suleiman may love him just a bit more than him. Truly, Mustafa loves Mehmed too. Its natural for him to feel affection for his younger brother.
But... doesnt he deserve to be praised by his father too? Doesnt he have the right to get a pat on his shoulder for a job well done? Or is it just "his duty as a prince" everytime he works hard? Or is it that no matter what he does, how well he does it, he'll never earn Suleiman's priority over Mehmed because his father loves Hurrem more than Mahidevran? Because of his mother? Still, she is his first wife. And still, he is Suleiman's first born. Doesnt he ever deserve to even delude himself that he has a chance at being the next sultan? At being chosen?
"Mustafa?" Your soft voice breaks him out of his trance.
"Sorry, you were saying?" He tried to smile, his mind still plagued by his previous thoughts.
You point at the box you had place in front of him. "I got you a small present, for all the times I um- lost your brooches." You coughed and he chuckled, shaking his head.
"I know Mihirmah was the one taking them from you. You dont have to lie to me, Y/n." Amusement twinkled in his eyes as he picked up your box.
You smiled sheepishly. Hey, you're glad that he isnt mad at you for that spoilt brat stealing his gifts off you.
Upon opening the box, Mustafa's grin widened as a small chuckle escaped him.
Its a small crocheted rose, a pin dangling for him to attach it to his collar.
"I know its useless next to your precious jewelled brooches and even though your mom was more than happy to give me some jewels, I wanted to give you something different. You dont have to wear it-"
"Will you place it on me?" Mustafa cut you off. You nodded as you moved closer to him and took the rose from him. "Where should I put it? Turban? Collar? Chest?"
"Wherever it'll be the most prominent." He smiled gently. You leaned closer as you carefully pinned the rose to his chest.
Mustafa held his breath as he stared at your focused eyes, and he doesnt remember the last time he was so attentive to studying someones eyes. He never realised how long your lashes were, or the crease in your eyelid, or the different shades in your eye, or the way his heart skipped a beat when you looked up at him, or the way his heart warmed when your pupils dilated and he was ready to give you the world if you asked for it.
"Perfect." He whispered as you finished placing the rose on him, but his eyes never left yours.
He finally broke out of the trance when you moved away, averting your eyes and he figured he must've been too obvious.
"Thank you." He cleared his throat before looking down at his rose. "How did you learn to... embroidery?" He changed the subject once more.
"This isnt embroidery. Its crochet." You explain to him that you learned it from your mother, which is true. Your mother, who despite having a degree in STEM, had to work as a seamstress when she moved back to your hometown to make ends meet. Only thing you left out was that your mother hated crocheting, and she only did it when she was mad, so anytime you spotted a crocheted sweater or scarf or anything, you knew your mom was having a bad day. It was ironic at how something so cute could come out of such a negative emotion, but perhaps thats what she was trying to teach you. She wanted you to channel out your negative energy into something beautiful and to be honest, crocheting did relax you because of how long it took and how repetitive it was. By the time you were done crocheting, you had processed your emotions and kept yourself in check AND now had an adorable, soft product to play with.
(Deep down you knew she was worried from how many times you had decided to use your brain to come up with elaborate pranks to get back at people. So, as mom would say- "crochet your anger away, Y/n.")
Mustafa smiled at your memories.
"I would like to give you something as well, Y/n. Ask for anything." You tried to refuse but upon his insistence, you finally sighed exaggeratively, as if this wasnt exactly what you wanted.
"Do you remember that portrait? The one in your loot when we first met?"
Mustafa nodded. "I do. But unfortunately, I had given it away to a Roman diplomat as goodwill." He watched your shoulders drop.
"Ask me for something else." He offered again but you waved him off, saying you dont want anything else at the moment.
By the time you two left Manisa, Mustafa had decided that he was going to marry you.
He likes you, he doesnt know if you love him but he does know for sure that you respect. And he respects you.
Respect. Isnt it more important than love? Not all relationships, not all marriages are out of love, Mustafa knows that. But any good marriage can only work if both parties respect each other, if they trust each other.
His father loves Mahidevran, some part of him still does love her despite marrying Hurrem. And he's sure that a small part of him loved every concubine his father slept with, but... not everyone had his respect.
No, Suleiman only loved AND respected Hurrem. He loved Mahidevran, but he didnt respect her. If he did, he wouldnt have humiliated her by marrying Hurrem, a slave, He wouldnt have humiliated her by having five kids with the same woman while neglecting his mother. He wouldnt have humiliated Mustafa by favouring Mehmed over him at every chance.
Mustafa doesnt have Suleiman's respect.
But he has yours. And his mother's. And of the people of Manisa. And that is enough for him.
Thumbing the crocheted rose, he could only hope you dont mind that he lied to you about the portrait. Its in his chambers, here in Manisa. For him to stare at, to clear his mind as he peered into those eyes above the paint smudges, that looked eerily similar to yours.
-
On returning to Constantinople (present day known as Istanbul), Mustafa had allowed you two first stop at the market as per your request of buying some souvenirs for the family, but he knew that was just an excuse for you to see your grandfather.
He watched you spot the old man in the market as you stood by the blacksmith, buying a dagger for Mihirmah despite your eyes being trained on the sad man who was busy buying vegetables. You two were still in disguises, with the guards undercover as well, when there was a commotion.
Your grandfather was being harassed by the same merchant who had given him money and Mustafa would like to think that he interfered because it was his duty as a Muslim and as a sehzade to stop evil, but deep down, he knows he only stepped in to impress you.
Mustafa and a couple of the Janissaries, all disguised as civilians, walked upto the merchant and pushed him off the old man. Before the merchant could start heckling, Mustafa threw a pouch of gold coins and told him that the debt is paid. Period.
He didnt have to say out loud the outcome if he bothered your old man again.
By the time Mustafa returned by your side, standing tall as you looked at him gratefully.
I am proud of you, Mustafa.
"Thank you." You tell him, and Mustafa's heart soars at your validation.
You respect him.
Mustafa looked to the side, the tip of his ears turning pink. "Did you get a present for Mihirmah?"
You nodded, showing him the dagger you bought (with the money Suleiman had been paying you for teaching). He approved it, and you two returned to Topkapi palace, not knowing about the shit storm that was about to come.
-
Mehmet watched from the balcony as you returned to the palace with Mustafa beside you, laughing openly as his elder brother looked at you in a way that he never wanted anyone besides him to look at you.
Mustafa would've liked to walked you to your room but after he was called by his mother, you assured him you'll make it to your room just fine.
What you werent expecting was to find Mehmed standing in the hallway, waiting for you to be alone. He wasnt supposed to return so early from his province, but after Mihirmah wrote to him about you fleeing away with Mustafa to Manisa, he wrapped up his work there and came home straight away. He thought he made it clear what his intentions were with you, but it seems like sweet talking didnt make a dent on you.
"Sehzade-" You stopped your greeting when you saw him march towards you, and you involuntarily took a step back. His body language was not friendly at the moment.
"What were you doing with Mustafa?" He seethed, his arms behind his back as if holding himself back from lashing out.
"I- I went out to get a present for Mihirmah-" You began showing him the dagger but he cut you off.
"Why?"
"Why?" You didnt understand his question. "Why what? I was away in Manisa-"
"Why?"
You frowned this time. What was he asking?
"Because sehzade Mustafa invited me-"
"Why?"
You couldnt help but glare at him annoyed. Why what?
"Because I wanted to get out of the palace-"
"Why?"
"What do you want me to say?" You finally asked. Mehmet glare intensified at your question. "You're clearly accusing me of something, so say it."
"Why did you leave the palace?"
"I told you, I went to Manisa on sehzade's invitation." You paused, trying to piece together the reason for his behaviour. Jealousy? "I couldnt have turned sehzade Mustafa's invitation, it wouldve been rude-"
"This isnt about Mustafa!" He snapped. "You shouldnt have left the palace in the first place!"
"And why not? I'm not a slave who is bound to these walls." You reminded him gently, but his patience seemed to have worn thin.
"And neither is my mother, nor Mihirmah but they still stay here, only leaving when the sultan takes them along."
You looked at him in confusion. What was he getting at?
Mehmed seemed to get even more angry at your bewilderment. "There's a reason women stay in their homes. Its not safe for them out there."
"I appreciate your concern, but I doubt anyone would want to hurt me. I am not a princess or a part of royalty. My status is far too low for anyone to even bat an eye my way-"
He laughed humourlessly. "Status? You think I'm talking about protecting you from enemies of the empire?" Mehmed neared you as you took another step back. "You're in danger from the world. You're in danger from those very men that see you everytime you walk out of these palace walls. You're a walking temptation for these men and their disgusting, vile thoughts."
You blinked at him. Is he- did he just say you tempt men?
"How can I tempt men when I'm covered from head to toe?" You point at your niqaab and your chaddar.
"YOU'RE A WOMAN! THAT ALONE IS TEMPTATION ENOUGH FOR LINGERING EYES!" He yelled as an angry vein pops up in his temple. "It doesnt matter that not an inch of your skin is visible, but the moment these men know that you're a woman, you're meat for them. You attract their attention when you leave the palace walls, you attract their eyes when they see your feminine shadow, you attract their ears when they hear your soft voice, you attract their nose when you pass by them with your sweet scent. Even if they cant see your face, your existence alone is enough to plague their minds!" He points at your niqaab. "This veil that you seem so proud of? That you think protects you from male gaze? It only makes men to want to rip it off you more!"
You're staring at him in utter disbelief. Aint no way- no way this man is accusing you of tempting men, all while insulting your niqaab.
"I dont know what men you're talking about, but you're wrong if you think I'm using my veil, my covered body to invite men to stare at me." Your tone barely suppresses your anger. "I am surprised to hear you say such things. How can you pass such comments when your own mother and sister are-"
"I can pass such comments because my mother and sister stay within the damn palace! They dont go around sauntering like you, provoking men!" He yelled, his arms no longer behind his back, hands balled up into fists.
"Do you hear yourself? You're not making any sense-"
"I AM THE NEXT SULTAN! I AM UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU!" He spat.
"How can I provoke men when my face is covered?!" You snapped back, reaching your wits.
Hearing your voice get loud, Mehmed's fury reached new levels as he backed you upto the wall, your eyes wide as he closed the distance between you. "You think you're safe?" He whispered harshly, his eyes boring holes into you. His hand reached up and grabbed your niqaab, threatening to yank it off you. "You think this piece of cloth can protect you? What can you- what can you possibly do if I were to rip this off you? Do you think you can stop me from making your worst nightmares come to life?"
Mehmed did not relish the fear in your eyes, nor did he enjoy the tear that escaped them. But like a child who needs admonishing to keep them from harms way, he found it necessary to reprimand you.
"Dont leave the palace again, Y/n." He said, his tone softening but still stern. "I dont want anyone, man or woman to see you. I dont trust anyone around you. Understand?" He patted your cheek to make you nod, and he finally backed away and left you alone in the hall.
Well, you're never truly alone in the palace. Especially when you have enemies. And who is your enemy, Y/n?
Everyone who is envious.
-
Word of your heated moment reached Mahidevran through the servants whispers, about how close you and Mehmed were, how he had pushed you upto the wall, a raunchy scene for anyone to walk in on, how Mehmed had lifted up your veil and traced your skin.
And of course, Mahidevran is inclined to believe these spicy rumors. She's experienced first hand what power hungry women can do when they put their mind to it. And her blood boils at how you're playing both princes, as if Mehmed could ever compete with her precious Mustafa!
Mahidevran all but screams at the maids to bring you to her, her hands shaking at the thought of you cheating on Mustafa- that too just moments earlier Mustafa was telling her how much he liked you and was ready to marry you.
You. You're ruining the plan. The plan to have Mustafa become the next sultan. Because- because you've been put to it by Hurrem, havent you? Isnt that why you're trying to make her son go after you while you pursue Mehmed? You want Mustafa to lose- you want Mahidevran to lose!
When you enter her chambers, Mahidevran all but sees red at the sight of you. You'r thrown to the ground and it doesnt register at first the hard smack she delivered to your face. But as soon as you look up at her, she lunges at you and continues to slap you over and over again, hurling curses at you, calling you all sorts of derogatory names, all while you try to save your face from her assaults because even if you could fight back, you couldnt hurt a sultan's wife.
"HOW CAN YOU CHEAT ON MY MUSTAFA?! MY LION! YOU FUCKING WHORE-!" She shrieked as she continued to slap you, her nails embedding into your skin and scratching it. Your face had gone numb from her slaps, and you couldnt verbalise a response even if you tried, her hands cutting you off everytime you tried to speak, leaving you to just cry and scream.
The guards and servants heard both your cries and Mahidevrans screams, but they didnt dare interfere. How could they? The sultana could easily have their heads chopped off for interrupting her punishment.
Mahidevran's own hands had gone numb from her thrashing, but her anger overtook any sense of self preservation as she continued to beat you to a pulp. Neither of you knows how long it had been until she was pulled off you.
"Mahidevran!" You watched bleary eyed as a red head came into the view. "Have you lost your mind?!" She admonished the queen.
Hurrem turned to look at you, grimacing at your bloodied face.
"Baris." She nodded at him to help you.
Baris immediately picked you up in his arms and carried you out of there.
You watched through tired eyes at Baris's concerned face as he looked down at you.
"Shit- sorry for taking so long to save you." He whispered, watching you slip in and out of consciousness.
You dont remember how, but the next moment you opened your eyes, you were in Hurrem's chambers with Baris tending to your wounds and Hurrem sitting on the ottoman watching you with a steady gaze.
You wince as Baris placed ointment on your busted lip.
"Careful, Baris." Hurrem warned, standing up and walking upto you. "She looks worse enough as it is. We dont need her falling unconscious in front of the sultan because you treated her injuries too harshly. He'll have your head chopped off." She joked though neither you nor Baris laughed; after all her words did hold some truth.
Wait- sultan?
"S-sultan?" You croaked, and Baris quickly helped you drink some water. "Why- why is the sultan coming?"
Hurrem looked at you in confusion. "Why? So that Suleiman could see what Mahideravn did to you and finally get rid of her. After all, Suleiman did warn anyone to not harm you. So, we can finally get rid of that thorn for once and for all." She sighed dreamily before looking at you. "All you have to do is cry in front of him and tell him how cruel Mahidevran is-"
"N-no." Baris's hand that was tending to you scratched cheek halted at your interruption.
"Excuse me?" Hurrem's sharp tone sent shivers down your spine.
"No. I wont say Mahidevran did this to me." In actual history, Mahidevran despite being exiled, outlives Suleiman, Hurrem and all their children. If you were to confess to what Mahidevran did, it would run the risk of Suleiman punishing her to the dungeons or worse, either way putting her life at risk and ruining the timeline.
"But she did do this to you." Hurrem stated, frowning at your attempt at denial. Or was it defense? "Ah, is it because you love Mustafa? You dont want to put his mother in trouble?"
"No. Mahidevran may have hurt me, but sehzade Mehmed was the reason. Your son did this and if you force me to confess, then that is what I will say- Mehmed did this to me." You replied, voice unwavering despite your heart beating loudly against your chest.
"Are you threatening me?" Hurrem glared at your audacity. Baris could sense the impending doom, and he feared you were at the receiving end of it this time.
"No." You swallowed. "I am merely stating at how this will play out. I suggest you dont have the sultan come and see me, better yet- throw me out of this palace altogether."
Hurrem stared at your bruised face and then she saw the determination in your eyes. She shot a look to Baris that had him scurrying you out of the room to give you two privacy.
"Even if you dont rat out Mahidevran, I can."
"You could. And then I will tell the sultan that it didnt happen, and you'll end up looking like a jealous second wife pinning the blame on the first wife." You tell her, watching as her face turned red with fury. "You could always let me go."
"Let you go? Why should I help you leave? And dont try to use Mehmed's behaviour with you as an excuse."
"Behaviour? He ordered me that I dont leave the palace walls ever because he thinks that I seem to invite men to leer at me." You tattled on him. "It may seem hard to believe sultana, but I dont wish to marry any of the princes, nor do I wish to stay within this palace. You know that the only reason I'm still here is because I couldnt say no to the sultan. But if you were to help me escape-"
You were silenced as Mahidevran burst through the door, her eyes zeroing in on Hurrem standing next to you.
"You-! You set me up! Both of you!" She shrieked as she stomped over to you two but Baris walked in with Mustafa, Mehmed and Mihirmah, all looking at the state of your injured face. They all stared at you, but it was Mehmed's eyes that pricked you and you quickly grabbed your veil, tying it around your face to cover it.
Mihirmah rushed to your side, grabbing you by the shoulders. "Y/n! Who did this to you?!"
You didnt bother looking at Hurrem or Mahidevran when you replied.
"I dont know."
Mihirmah's brows knitted together. "You... dont know? It was a blind attack? Did you not see who was attacking you? Or did you just not recognise the attacker?"
You took a deep breath.
"I dont know."
Mehmed stepped forward, eyes narrowing at your answer. "What do you mean-"
He stopped talking when the doors opened again and in walked Suleiman and Ibrahim, the sultan's eyes scanning the room before falling on you.
You had stood up to bow to him and you kept your head down for as long as you could to not draw attention.
But Mihirmah had other plans in mind.
"Dad! Y/n was attacked again! So much worse this time!" She cried, clinging onto your shoulder.
Suleiman's concern grew as he looked you up and down, reading your body language: head down, shoulders tense, hands fumbling.
You were afraid.
"Y/n?" He gently called your name as you hesitantly looked up. Its hard enough to lie to sultan, but lying when you look him dead in the eyes is a whole another thing.
"Show me." He commanded, and you had no choice but to comply, as your slowly removed your veil.
Suleiman's eyes widened at the state of your face- bruised, bloodied and swollen. He walked closer, eyes watching you in disbelief. Who could have done this to you, that too in his palace?
"Who did this to you?"
You averted your eyes, lest they betrayed you. "I- I dont know."
"You didnt see them?" Suleiman was as confused as Mihirmah. "Did they attack you from behind? No- they scarred your face, they attacked you from the front. You should've seen them. Did you recognise them?"
You kept your head down. Shit. What are you supposed to say now?
"Y/n?" You looked up at him. Suleiman saw fear. "Dont be scared. Tell me- who did this to you?"
You swallowed thickly. "I dont know."
"Did you see their face?"
"I- yes." There was no point in lying about it when he already presented logic.
"Then? Who was it?"
"I dont know- I dont remember." You whispered.
Mustafa was trying to make sense of your statement when he glanced at his mother. Mahidevran was shifting on her feet nervously, clasping her hands tightly as she glared at you.
No. No, she couldnt have.
Suleiman's gaze hardened at your words. Who were you protecting? Or did you really not recognise who it was?
"Ibrahim." The vizir stepped forward. "Find out who did this to Y/n." Suleiman ordered as he stood up, turning around to leave when his eyes fell on Mahidevran, who was looking at him with a tight lipped smile.
"Are you alright, Mahidevran?" He asked his first wife, who nodded eagerly.
"Y-yes. Of course, my sultan! I'm just- I'm just worried for Y/n." Suleiman studied her for a few more moments before he turned his attention to Hurrem.
"You did right by informing me about this, Hurrem." He praised his second wife, giving her shoulders a gentle squeeze. "I trust you to take care of Y/n, hm?"
Hurrem bowed her head and feigned a smile. "Of course, Suleiman." However, the sultan spotted her smile faltering and for a second, he saw her glancing at Mahidevran before averting her gaze.
Something was wrong. Suleiman's sixth sense was keeping him unsettled.
He looked at Mahidevran again, this time more closely as he studied her from top to bottom and thats when he saw it-
Her hands hiding under her sleeves.
Suleiman walked to Mahidevran and before anyone could react, he grabbed her hands and pulled.
Mahidevran's knuckles were bruised, her nails stained with your blood, her palms red.
"You did this to her?" He asked in disbelief. His Mahidevran? He knew she was a little unhinged at times, lost control of her emotions but... was she really capable of such violence?
"Suleiman I- she-"
"You're not denying." His grip tightened around her hands. "Mahidevran, have you lost your mind?!"
"Suleiman-"
"SILENCE!" He pushed her away, eyes blown wide in rage. Mahidevran trembled at the sight. "Have you completely lost it?! Why would you do this to her?! She's just a child! What is wrong with you?!"
Mahidevran fell to her knees, begging him for forgiveness. "Suleiman, I'm sorry-"
"Sorry? You're sorry?! LOOK AT HER! LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO HER!" He pointed at your face. "Why did you do this? What could she have possibly done to you to deserve this?"
"Suleiman, I only-" She stopped. What reason could she give? She cant tell him about you cheating on Mustafa with Mehmed, nor would it do her any good to pin the blame on Hurrem now. It would only weaken her position and cause Mustafa trouble.
Mustafa. She has to do this for him, to save his throne.
She mustered up all her courage, casting her ego aside as she looked at you.
"I'm sorry, Y/n."
Your heart dropped. No. Mahidevran just admitted to her crime. Suleiman will punish her. She will die- no, no no-
"Its okay, sultana. It was an accident." Everyone was looking at you now.
"An accident?" Mihirmah asked.
You nodded. "I- I entered her chambers while she was asleep. I startled the sultana, she thought I was an intruder- that I came to attack her. The room was dark- she couldnt have recognised me- it was all an accident."
Everyone knew it was big fat lie, but then again, no one was willing to refute your claims. On what grounds? With no proof, they were all inclined to take your word, even if they didnt believe it.
Suleiman looked back at Mahidevran. "You still didnt have any right to beat her that badly. You've truly lost it, Mahidevran. If you werent Mustafa's mother, I would've-" He took a breath to calm himself down. "You cant stay here anymore. I exile you to Manisa." And with that Suleiman walked out of the room.
-
Mustafa had left your room to see off his mother. He came to you after to thank you for trying to cover for Mahidevran, despite his father still banishing her.
Then again, exile was the least painful punishment for what she did to you.
He held his mother's hands as the servants packed her belongings. He wanted to go to Manisa with her, but she refused to let him accompany her.
"You must stay here, Mustafa." She cupped his cheek. "You need to protect Y/n. All this time, I thought she was cheating on you but Hurrem set her and me up. She wanted this to happen, for me to hurt Y/n! You must stay here and protect Y/n from Hurrem and Mehmed. Do you understand?" Mahidevran's habit of blaming everyone but herself for her actions prevailed over logic as usual.
He nodded, kissing the palm of her hand. "The next time we meet, I will bring her to you as my wife."
A bright smile graced her face as she quickly took off her own ring and gave it to him.
"I will pray for you, my lion." She kissed his forehead. Mustafa smiled, pulling her in for a hug.
"Dont worry about Mehmed, hm? He wont be a hurdle." She whispered to him.
Mustafa didnt understand what she meant about Mehmed, his own mind occupied by you. He saw how angry his father was when it came to you, almost as protective as he was of Mihirmah, how quick he was to have his mother- a queen on her knees, for you. He knew his dad never respected Mahidevran, but his actions were also ruled over by his concern for you.
Mustafa now understands how dire the situation is. He now understands why his mother wanted him to marry you. You- you are the key to having the throne, the key to ruling the empire, the key to everything.
-
While Hurrem was busy "calming" Suleiman down, which in fact was really just her getting praised for being a good wife, queen and most importantly now- "a mother figure to Y/n", for how quickly she took action and saved you from Mahidevran, how she tended to your wounds and brought you to her chambers rather than "risking Mahidevran attacking you by leaving you in the infirmary", her eldest was in your room.
Baris had just helped you sit on the sofa and was tending to your wounds when Mehmed, the sehzade who had just moments ago seen Mustafa leave your room, had his blood boiling at the sight of your face uncovered as Baris applied healing balms to your wounds.
"Get out." He ordered Baris, who looked at you before leaving the room.
Mehmed sat down beside you, picking up the healing balm and was about to apply it to your skin when you turned your face away.
"I can do it myself, sehzade-"
"Mehmed." He corrected you before turning your face to him harshly. "If you can do it yourself, then why let Baris do it? Do you enjoy his touch?" His tone was accusatory and full of jealousy, and you were getting real tired of it.
"I'm sorry, I was far too disoriented to notice it was a man who was tending to my wounds." Your sarcasm made his eyes narrow at you, as he continued to apply the ointment.
"Baris is not a man, he's a eunuch." And yet he's jealous of him. "And its not about a man touching you, i dont want anyone touching my wife-to-be."
"I dont remember agreeing to a proposal-"
"Then let me refresh your memory." He cut you off. "When I said "I love you", I meant we were to be married. As for a proposal, there never was one and there never will be one because I am a sehzade, and the next sultan. You dont get to say no to me. Do I make myself clear?"
If you had the means to get out of this era, you would've slapped the egoistical, chauvinistic, toxic man in front of you.
"Yes." You replied.
Mehmed stood up, but before he left, he looked at your veil.
"If you have to remove your veil to let your injuries heal, you better make sure you're alone."
Asshole.
-
A few weeks later, you were once again standing in the harem with the rest of the royals. Today, the sultan had to leave to go on a conquest. Ibrahim was also leaving, which unnerved you because you dont want to stay in a place without the only sane person who had your back.
Sure, Baris saved you but you knew better than to trust that piece of shit because his loyalty could be easily bought. Just like how you knew Hurrem did indeed was paying him to follow you, let you get beat up, and then fetch her to be your "saviour". And you knew that the only reason Baris would help you ever again, was because he had his own agenda on being your personal servant if you were to marry one of the princes.
Suleiman and Ibrahim entered the harem, ready to receive farewell from his family.
Hurrem was the first in line, kissing his hand and then him, before Suleiman pulled her in his embrace.
"I trust you to take care of the palace in my absence." He said to her, patting her cheek affectionately.
"Of course. I pray for your victory, Suleiman. May Allah sharpen your sword and defeat the enemy." She wished him well.
Suleiman then went down the queue, hugging his sons, daughters, favourite women of the harem, and then you.
"You will be safe here, Y/n." He watched you kiss his ring before bringing his hand to your forehead. With your head bowed, he kissed your the top of your head. "When I return, I have something important I'd like to discuss with you."
Your heart dropped. Discuss something important? Like what?
"Your marriage to his son, girl!" You heard Baris's voice in the back of your head.
Ibrahim only hugged Suleiman's sons, the royal women offering him words of support and prayers. When he reached you, you gave him a quick courtesy and a small prayer, but your eyes- they screamed for help.
Ibrahim! Dont leave me!
And Ibrahim got your message, but with everyone watching, he could do nothing but nod and move on.
As soon Suleiman left with his troops, you quickly made your way to return to your chambers to hide away until they returned. After your incident with Mahidevran, you had taken some precautions from being mauled again because really- who can you trust around here?
Mihirmah would come to your room to get her lessons, which now with her father gone, you doubt she will come to get them. Fine by you really, she's still a brat who finds glee in flipping you over your back.
Mehmed was much harder to avoid, he insisted on having lunch with you (because Hurrem wanted all her kids together with her at dinner). And these lunches were quiet stiff, because Mehmed may not be threatening you or showing off his jealousy, you still havent forgotten his remarks and you didnt really talk besides giving him curt replies, which he doesnt notice because his head is so far up his-
Mustafa was the normal one among them, and while he did offer you to take you out to the market or even the gardens, you didnt. Not because you were scared of Mehmed finding out, no. It was because- well, what happened to Mahidevran. Mustafa may have come to you and thanked you for trying to cover up for her, but no matter what way you see it- his mother was thrown out of the palace because of you.
And he has to hold some grudge against you for it. No matter how much he smiles, how many gifts he gives you, you just cannot risk him taking you the gardens or the market where there are no witnesses when "someone" ambushes you.
You've used most of your time holed up in your room with your time machine because the last time you went out with Mustafa to the market, you were able to get some tools and metals from the blacksmith while Mustafa was busy saving your "grandfather".
-
Its been 2 weeks since Suleiman left. Two weeks since you've been on high alert around this mad house, two weeks since you started losing sleep from all the stress and tension of being around Mehmed and Mustafa. Sure, Ibrahim gave you a entourage of maids and guards to keep you safe before he left, but how could that put you at ease when your entourage could fall with the flick of the wrist from these royals.
You've been able to repair your time machine as much as you could, but it still hasnt worked. You dont understand what you need to do, you've even tried smashing it against the ground like the last time you transported, but no. It didnt help.
You sat on the bench on the balcony, the same one when Ibrahim was here with you. You came here to get some fresh air, and you hoped Baris doesnt run into you because you just have it in you to hear him make a comment about the bags under your eyes.
The sky was filled with dark clouds again, the wind chilly and you smiled under your veil.
It was going to rain today.
Your mind flashed back to the last time you were here with Ibrahim. Just like now, you were worried and tense then. But he was there to calm you down, to put your mind to ease.
"You should feel air as well." He said with his eyes closed. "It'll relax your mind."
You closed your eyes as his voice came to mind.
"Enjoy these moments when you can, Y/n. They're rare."
You glanced behind you, at your entourage. The guards had their back to you, looking away from you and the maids. The maids all stood behind you, giving you space. They could see your stress.
A gentle breeze hit your face, and it was enough to push you.
You quietly removed your veil, setting it beside you before loosening up your headscarf.
A sigh escaped your lips as the gentle breeze cooled your neck, your tense shoulders dropping at the earthy scent of rain. You closed your eyes, trying to imagine yourself back in your time, back when you were a child, carefree and stress-free.
Home. I want to go home.
"Y/N!" Your respite was cut short by Mehmed's angry scream, who looked at you like he'd just witnessed the greatest crime you could ever commit: sitting unveiled, with part of your hair exposed along with your neck.
"What the hell are you doing?!" You quickly grabbed your niqaab and tied it around your head as you saw storm towards you, his guards following behind him.
"Mehmed- I-"
"You what?! You were sitting here EXPOSED! With the servants to watch!" He yelled at you, grabbing your arm painfully as he yanked you from your seat. "Didnt I explicitly tell you to fucking stay covered! Do you like putting on a show for-"
"ENOUGH!" Something in you snapped. "I wont have you accuse me over and over again! I was not putting on a show, Mehmed! I was just getting some air! Do I not deserve it?! As for putting on a show- the guards had their backs turned, they werent staring at me! Only the maids were behind me, and they too werent able to see my face! Now, let go!"
Mehmed's grip on your arm only tightened, and you almost yelped in pain if you werent so busy glaring at him. "Just because you think they didnt see you face, doesnt mean its alright for you to sit naked!" He yanked you closer as he bared his teeth at you. "I told you not to to ever remove your niqaab in front of others. You disobeyed me- my command! And now you will pay the price! As will they!" He yelled at his guards to arrest you entire entourage and throw them to the dungeons.
"Mehmed, stop-" "Shut up!" He yelled as he began dragging you away and towards his own room, throwing you inside.
He stalked towards you. "Since you seem to have no sense of preservation for your modesty, I suppose I will have to help you out as your husband-to-be. You will stay here until I return and if you try to escape, I swear to God, Y/n! I will fucking break your legs!"
You watched in horror as he left the room, locking it from outside and you dont doubt he had guards outside not to let anyone in or out.
I cant stay here any longer- I cant rely on Ibrahim any longer. Mehmed has fucking lost it, and I need to get out of here right now.
You fumble out your time machine, trying to turn it on to any time period really- you cant stay here anymore.
"Fuck!" You throw it against the wall, crying into your hands out of frustration. Why the fuck wont it work? A few moments later, you finally pick it up, pocketing it back in your clothes.
Hours passes by as you sat on the floor, crying at your demise, waiting for Mehmed to return and do whatever his insane self pleases.
The room had darkened, and you suspected it was night now. You look down and find the bracelet on your hand, the one Suleiman gave you and an idea popped in your head.
Bribery.
You knocked at the door.
"Hello? Whoever is out there- please- just open the door! I'll give you my jewels! Anything you need, I'm willing to pay!" You plead for a few minutes before slamming your hands against the wood, falling to your knees as you sobbed. "Please! I'm begging you! Help me-!" You stumbled back as the doors swung open.
"Well, if this is how quickly you resort to going on your knees, I have failed as a teacher." Baris grinned at you from above.
"B-baris?" You sniffled as he helped you stand up. "What are you-"
"I'm saving your ass. Duh." He pulled you out of the room, looking out both ways before taking the path on the left. You spot two guards lying on the ground.
"How did you-" You point at the them but he drags you along.
"I'm not just a pretty face, Y/n. You seriously underestimate me." He comments, his eyes scanning for anymore people. "Now we must make haste. Otherwise, your lover boy may take a break from the dungeons to torture us instead-" He stopped talking when he looked at you.
"Torture? Baris, what did Mehmed do to them?" Your entourage was thrown into the dungeons. Baris avoided your eyes. "Baris." You insisted.
"He's having their eyes stitched up for staring at you."
You face paled. Mehmed is insane. He's fucking insane. Baris took your hand and dragged your shellshocked body.
The two of you soon made it out of the palace undetected. 4 horses and 5 women waited for you two there. You recognised them- they were from the harem.
"Baris, what are you- why are they here?" You whispered harshly. If the palace finds out there are concubines missing, it'll only cause more trouble for you and him.
"Relax, they're here to help us." He waves at them, making them giggle before he looks back at you. "We will all get on the horses and take different paths to throw the Janissaries off long enough for you to escape."
"Escape to where?"
"Wherever you want to go. I would suggest going West and leaving the empire altogether, maybe go to the Romans. Keep a low profile and try not to seduce any more unhinged men." He pokes fun at you, despite the situation you're in.
You chuckle, tears of gratefulness in your eyes. "Thank you, Baris." You sniffle, taking off your bracelet. "Here. You can have this. Its the least I can do-"
"Girl, you need it more than I do." Baris pushes the bracelet back to you. "Besides, I've already been compensated generously."
"By who?" You ask and he gives you a knowing look. "Ibrahim?" He nods.
"He had been paying me since the moment you set foot in the palace to keep you safe. You think I just stuck around you because I like you so much?" You slapped his shoulder, making him laugh. "Okay, you werent all that bad. But wherever you go, I'm sure Ibrahim pasha will find you."
"And why is that?"
"Well, he was going to marry you." "What?" Baris looked at you confused. "You dont know? Ibrahim pasha talked to Sultan Suleiman about this. The sultan gave his blessing, but he wanted to ask for your consent as well. But then they went to war-"
So thats what Suleiman wanted to discuss with you.
"Anyways, Ibrahim pasha had given me permission to do whatever is necessary to keep you safe, even if it meant taking you out of the palace- or- well staging your kidnapping. When the time comes, Ibrahim pasha will find you and I will be long gone by then." Baris explained.
"You're willing to leave the palace behind? For me? I thought you liked it here." You were touched at his willingness to help you, even if he was taking money.
Baris shrugged, looking at Topkapi palace longingly. "I've had my fun here. Its time for me to go somewhere else. Have a fresh start, where I'm no longer a slave."
You smiled, nodding understandingly. "And them? Are they willing to risk it all for me as well?"
"Oh no. They're in love with me. And when they heard I was leaving, they decided to come along. Just cant get enough of me." You shot him a look. "We might start a brothel. You should come visit with Ibrahim pasha someday."
"Why the fuck would I go to a brothel-" He broke into laughter at your reaction.
"I'm just joking! But do visit me, hm?" He took your hand and pressed a kiss to it. He helped you up on the horse before mounting his with a girl behind him, the others mounting the other horses.
"Thank you, Baris. For everything." Baris gave you a nod. You suddenly heard yells from behind you.
"Time to go!" Baris yelled.
-
You were galloping through the woods, the same forrest where you had first landed here. It was raining dogs and cats, making it hard for you to see ahead of you and even harder for the horse to run through the wet ground.
Your mind wandered back to Ibrahim. All this time, you thought he'd abandoned you and yet he was the one who had your back.
Was he really going to marry you?
You doubt he would've. Or even if he did, the question was- would you have said yes?
Maybe. He is the sane one of the ottomans, and apparently the only one who is willing to help you. You're sure he wouldnt have done anything unbecoming of a man even if you married him. And why would you not marry him? It buys you time to work on your machine and get out of this era, AND it protects you from the royals, especially Mehmed.
Mehmed. Your heart wrenched at the thought of him punishing those poor servants. Did he really have their eyes stitched up? What would he have done to you on returning? More importantly, what would he have done if he caught you escaping.
"I'll break your fucking legs!"
You shuddered at his threat, leaning down to speed through the woods.
Maybe God finally cut you a break- how else could you explain all this? Baris being the one to break you out, despite you being sure he'd betray you the first chance he gets. Ibrahim pasha having your back all this time. You escaping the palace without the Janissaries or anyone hot on your tail. Maybe your time machine will finally work too. Maybe you'll finally make it out of here. Maybe you just lucked out-
You heard the clouds above you roar loudly and in the next moment, you heard yourself scream as you were blinded by a white flash, throwing you off your horse.
You laid on the ground, pain radiating throughout your body, vision blurry, palpitations in your ear as you tried to make sense of what had happened.
A lightening strike.
You were struck by lightening.
If you werent in so much pain, rapidly losing consciousness, you wouldve laughed at your fortune.
Lucked out?
More like out of luck.
-
Mustafa had walked in on Mehmed screaming and threatening to kill every servant, his sword bloody. Looking behind his younger brother, he spotted two headless guards.
"Mehmed?" He asked cautiously.
"She escaped! She fucking ran!" Mehmed yelled before he could ask what was wrong. He raised his sword to cut off yet another head, but Mustafa stopped him.
"Tell me what happened." Mustafa's strong voice had Mehmed reeling some of his anger back, explaining what had happened.
After listening to him, Mustafa sighed. "We'll find her, Mehmed. Calm down." He looked at his Janissaries and ordered them to close off the city, and the docks. No one leaves.
"She could've already left the city-"
"Its unlikely for her to have managed to do that, that too when its pouring heavily." Mustafa, the cool headed prince, began to think logically.
"Then where is she? The city is still too big! It'd be like finding needle in a haystack." Mehmed sneered, glaring at the servants.
Mustafa closed his eyes, trying to think of where you could possibly ran off to.
He snapped his eyes open. Of course, you'd be there.
"I know where she is." He stood up, Mehmed following behind him.
-
You woke up to someone wiping your cheek. It took a few moments for your vision to clear, your eyes looking around what seemed to be a cottage before landing on the person beside you.
Old lady.
It was the old lady. The one who saved you when you dropped at her doorstep when you entered this era.
"Oh dear, you're finally awake!" She smiled gently, continuing to wipe the mud off your cheek. "You're lucky my husband was out when he spotted you unconscious. You could've drowned in that rain, you know?" She said in a chiding town, as if you chose to lie down in the pouring rain.
The old man walked out of the kitchen with a cup of hot tea in his hands.
"Here you go, hun. Drink this." He handed you the cup before sitting beside his wife.
"Now, where've you been all this time?"
By the time you were finished telling them everything that happened to you, from being kidnapped by the Janissaries to be sold as a slave, to almost dying a few times in the palace, to being set up to marry one of the two princes, to being struck with lightening, the old lady was in tears as she pulled you into her embrace while the old man continued to yell a stream of curses at the Ottomans.
When you tried to leave, they stopped you- telling you its absolutely unsafe for you to go anywhere in this bad weather. And well, hearing the heavy rain and the fact that you were indeed struck by lightening, you couldnt really argue.
"Okay, just for tonight."
While you were having dinner, you were taken back to your memories- memories of your own family. Sure, you were surrounded by family at the palace as well, but they didnt feel like home. They didnt really care for you, not like this cute old couple does. And to be honest, you missed this feeling. From your time in Jerusalem, to your time in the palace, this is the first moment of normalcy you've had in a while.
You looked at them, smiling as they made silly jokes and ate food. They included you in their conversations, they fed you, they made sure you were comfortable when you slept in the guest room- or what you assumed was their daughter's room.
You didnt tell them, you couldnt but you did try finding out what happened to her. Baris told you what did.
Naima. That was their daughter's name.
Naima was brought to the palace by the Janissaries as a concubine, and only a few weeks in- she was chosen to sleep with the sultan.
She killed herself the next day. She had jumped off the roof, but she didnt die instantly. She died as Hurrem watched from her balcony, and she refused to alert anyone to help the poor woman.
You didnt want to take this last bit of hope from the couple- the hope that Naima may still be alive and will come home one day.
-
You were woken up to someone banging on the door.
"BY THE ORDER OF SEHZADE MUSTAFA! OPEN THE DOOR!" Someone yelled from outside. The old man sprung to his feet as he peered through the window.
Janissaries. A whole troop of them and in the very front, sitting on top of their horses were Mustafa and Mehmed.
"Get her out of here." The old man told his wife, who hurried you out of bed and was about to leave through the back door when she saw the Janissaries out there as well.
"Come on." She dragged you up the stairs to the roof, just as you heard the door being broken down and yelling.
Reaching the roof, you looked down only to see the cottage was surrounded by the guards.
"We're surrounded." You whispered. "There is no escape."
"There is." The old lady whispered back to you, ushering you towards the edge of the roof. "Jump."
You looked at her. "What?"
"I wont let them take you back there. Jump, Y/n." She pushed you towards the edge.
"No- I'm not jumping!" You tried to back away but she gripped your arm.
"You have to, Y/n! I wont let them- I wont let any man take advantage of you! I wont let them do to you what they did to my Naima!" She cried, pushing you towards the ledge again, but you resisted against her, causing you to fall onto the ground.
"I'm doing this to save you!" She cried again, straddling you as she wrapped her hands around your throat. "Why wont you understand-"
"STOP!" A voice yelled. You both looked to the side to find Mustafa and Mehmed, the latter holding the old man.
Mustafa raised a hand in surrender. "Let her go. And we wont hurt your husband."
The old lady looked conflicted, as she looked at Mustafa and then at Mehmed who held a sword at the old man's neck, ready to slice it.
"I- I-" She continued to hold your throat as you struggled to breathe.
For a brief moment, the couple made eye contact and the old man smiled at her reassuringly.
"Do it. Save Y/n." He told her, but before anyone could react, Mehmed sliced off the man's head, Mustafa looking at his younger brother in shock as the woman shrieked before she began choking you hard.
With lightening speed, Mustafa pulled her off you and pushed her to the side.
"Y/n? Are you okay?" He crouched beside you, checking on you as you took huge gulps of air before nodding. Mustafa sighed in relief as he helped you stand up, only to turn around to find Mehmed holding the woman over the edge.
"Mehmed, dont!" He yelled, but it was too late. Mehmed kicked her in the back and the old lady fell to the ground. Mustafa left your side to look over the edge, eyes wide as he saw the woman hadnt died. Blood sputtered out of her mouth as she stared up with eyes blown wide.
And then, a sword fell on her neck straight down, finally killing her.
He looked to his side only to find Mehmed looking down disinterested, as if he hadnt just brutally murdered an old woman.
His younger brother.
A monster.
He watched Mehmed whisper threats to you as he dragged you back outside, practically throwing you over his horse. Mustafa let him take you- he wasnt going to fight who gets to ride with you when they were all going home.
Except... not.
Mustafa's brows furrowed in confusion as he watched Mehmed and his Janissaries take a turn and go a completely different path then the one to the Topkapi palace.
Where was he taking you?
Mustafa sped after Mehmed, his troops following behind as he yelled at Mehmed to stop.
But he didnt, not until an abandoned palace came to view.
Mehmed got off his horse, pulling you down before nodding at his men to take you inside.
"What the hell are you doing?" Mustafa asked as he got off his own horse, marching towards you but Mehmed blocked his path.
"What I should've done in the first place- duel."
Mustafa looked at him in disbelief. Duel? "You want to fight me? Have you truly lost it?!"
Mehmed got up in his face. "I've seen the way you look at her. I am not going to stand for it any longer."
"Mehmed-"
"Only one of us can have her, Mustafa. This ends today." Mehmed pushed him as he drew his sword.
Mustafa lips settled into a thin line.
"Fine." He pulled out his sword. "May the better prince win."
-
"Let go of me!" You try pulling yourself free from the guards grasps, but they continue to haul you inside the abandoned castle.
"I said- let go-!"
"Oh good, you're finally here!"
Mihirmah stood in front of you with a grin.
"Mihirmah? What are you doing here?"
She raised a brow. "What am I doing here? I'm here to prepare you!"
"Prepare me?"
"Mmhm! For your wedding to Mehmed!"
"What?"
She shrugged, taking you by the arm as she pulled you inside a room. "Well, when I found out you had run away, I suggested to Mehmed that the only way to make sure you stay by his side is for him to marry you. And I knew my mom would've stopped him from doing that, so I suggested he bring you here! By the time dad returns, you'd already be married to Mehmed and dad will definitely choose him to be the next sultan! Its only a cherry on top that Mustafa came here as well, and when Mehmed kills him- dad will have no choice but to choose Mehmed as his heir!"
You watched in disbelief before trying to make a run for it, but she anticipated it, snapping her fingers for the guards to lock the doors.
"Now, I will send the maids inside to get you ready. I need to go check on the sheikh who has to marry you two off." She smiled before leaving you alone.
She could care less about the sheikh, right now- she wanted a seat upfront to the showdown! Mehmed was going to win and she needed to be there to witness it.
-
Mustafa dodged Mehmed's attack again. Despite agreeing to the duel earlier, Mustafa had been taking on the defensive. Mehmed was his younger brother, he was still family even if he incredibly insane.
He cant bring himself to hurt him-
"Why arent you fighting?" Mehmed growled as he swiped at him again. "Are you that afraid of dying? Fight me like a man!"
"I dont want to fight you at all." Mustafa jumped back as he striked again. "You're my brother-"
"Like hell we are! One way or another, I'm killing you Mustafa! Be it today, or tomorrow when I'm finally sultan, because you know your mother screwed up any chance you had to be chosen! She fucked up and now you will pay for it!" Mehmed yelled, finally hitting a nerve with Mustafa.
My mother. They dont respect her.
Mustafa raised his sword as he struck over and over again, Mehmed barely able to escape the blade as it sliced his skin many times.
My own brother wants to kill me. And if I die, then so will my mother,
Mehmed groaned as Mustafa suddenly sliced the skin on his arm, the younger prince rolling onto the ground to avoid getting his arm cut off clean. But Mustafa was faster, kicking him in the stomach as Mehmed dropped onto the ground in pain.
"I am the better son." Mustafa said with a kick to his stomach.
"I am the better ruler." Another kick.
"I am the better choice." Another kick.
"I am better than you. In every way." Mustafa raised his sword to drop it on Mehmed's neck, just as cruelly he had done to that old woman.
Mehmed raised his hand in surrender as he coughed up blood.
"Please, Mustafa- d-dont. I'm your brother!" Mehmed begged for his life.
And in that moment, Mustafa saw his younger brother, the small child he promised to always protect.
Mustafa closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before stepping away.
"I. Win." He stated, turning around to leave. He was the bigger man. Once again, his mercy overtook his- no his love for his brother overtook his logic. He knows Mehmed wont back down, he will fight with him again. But that will be for another day-
"M-Mustafa." He looked back at him, his heart dropping at the sight.
Mehmed was coughing up blood, his face looked pale- and then he puked.
Something was wrong. Very wrong.
And the moment his mouth started foaming, Mustafa remembered his mother's words.
"Dont worry about Mehmed, hm? He wont be a hurdle."
Mahidevran may have been exiled, but she still had a few people loyal to her. People who wanted Mustafa as the next sultan, not any of Hurrem's sons. People who more than willingly began microdosing Mehmed with poison.
-
You were trying to break a window to escape when the doors swung open. Mihirmah had returned, tears running down her cheeks.
"Mihirmah-" She hugged you before you could beg her to let you go.
"You look beautiful." She whispered as she pulled back, admiring the maid's work. "Mehmed always did adore the color red on you." She said in a trance.
"Mihirmah, please let me go." You plead and she gives you a broken smile.
"Thats what I came here to do." She whisperd, cupping your cheek. "I'm letting you go, Y/n. Mehmed's dead."
Oh. Thats why she's crying. But with Mehmed dead, you get to leave.
"I'm sorry to hear that." You said, watching her stumble back towards the door.
"I'm going to miss you, Y/n." She nodded, grabbing the fire torch off the wall. "Tell Mehmed I love him."
What?
Mihirmah dropped the torch onto the ground, setting the wooden floor ablaze instantly.
"Mihirmah-!" She left the room, closing the doors before you could make your escape.
"Mihirmah! Open the door!" You slammed your fists as the room began catching on fire.
Mihirmah locked the door from outside, wiping her tears away as she walked away.
You are Mehmed's bride. You belong to him, in life and now... in death.
Goodbye Mehmed. She closed her eyes. You wont be alone now.
She watched from the balcony as the Janissaries- her and Mehmed's troops, cornered Mustafa and pushed him to the ground like an animal for slaughter.
The guard looked at her.
She gave a nod.
The next moment, Mustafa's head was chopped off.
-
Fucking Mihirmah!
You slammed your fists against the door one last time before falling down to the ground, fire spreading around the room.
Fire. Why the fuck does it always have to be fire? Why is everyone so hell bent upon burning you to crisp? First in the desert with Salauddin, then those concubines in the harem, now this. If you didnt have a phobia before, you sure do have one now!
You pulled out your time machine hopelessly. Piece of crap wont even turn on-
Its on.
Your eyes widened at the screen illuminating.
Its working.
But how-
The lightning strike! It mustve charged it! That or maybe it could sense every single time you're near death and decides to fucking work.
"Oh fuck!" You curse as flames begin to close in on you. Now is not the time.
With trembling hands you try to change the date and location, but the screen is still broken and it wont budge.
You groan in frustration as you slam the button, your surrounding blurring as you begin to travel. Whatever time you land in, it'll be better than the one where you almost burn to death.
Right?
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So, thoughts?? How did you like this chapter? What will happen next?
I also sorta blacked out a few times while editing this chapter, so ignore any mistakes.
PART 11 is here!
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