#🦀 talks

[charcuteriecrab]

just thinking about an re game focusing on Chris and Leon. Chris can launch Leon places. Leon is more agile, Chris is stronger. As far as duos for gameplay purposes, they would be perfect. Plus ...the banter. The vision guys—

Also ya know...chreon...

[charcuteriecrab]

HIHI thanks for tagging me @leon-thot-kennedy and @alicethepiper !! My top songs as determined by spotify are:

1) Midwest Indigo - Twenty One Pilots 2) Snap Back - Twenty One Pilots 3) Next Semester - Twenty One Pilots 4) Navigating - Twenty One Pilots 5) Lavish - Twenty One Pilots

BUT im giving honorable mention to the entire Epic: The Musical soundtrack because i've been rabidddddd

uhhhh tagging @spectralharvest and @manere-aurum mwuahahahaha and anyone else who wants to join innnnnn

Chain Ask! Share 5 of your favorite songs, publish this ask, then share it with 10 of your favorite followers.

thank u for the ask <3 uhm. songs making me crazy right now:

i. it's only heaven // hurricane

ii. people // freak of nature

iii. lithium // nirvana

iv. good mourning/black friday // megadeth

v. tied to the bells // tuff

uhm. people i see in my activity a lot/blogs that i adore: @videomessiah @nenynra @awesomerockwarrior @road-2nowhere @born-to-lose @loadedmutha @ride-the-hammett @anaalnathrakhs + err my mind's blanking rn i can't think of more but obvs anybody who wants to, consider urself tagged :)

[thecrabtain]

I just thought about something, an idea actually!

Most of my platonic crushes/squishes are monsters. The term Monsterfucker exists. I'm aroace. So now I officially announce the making of a platonic Monsterfucker term! Introducing Monsterhugger!

Edit: Anyone who doesn't want to fuck non-humans can use this term! ^^

Sex with Monsters is overrated, Hugging is superior (half joking)

And for alloace individuals I have a term for you too: Monsterkisser.

Because if you don't want to fuck the monster, you can date it or give it kisses without needing to do the bombayah

Coined on 6/09/24 by Me :DDD

[taketheringtolohac]

actually im really curious. rb and tell me what you think your most well known contribution to blaseball was. bit/joke/fanwork/IRM/etc world is your oyster.

[ughgoaway]

ovulating = horny thoughts therefore i need good dom!matty ace recs

- 🦀

oh GOD okay, this is by no means a comprehensive list but here's a few of my favs off the top of my head!!

white and gold by @wreckedandpolemic (this whole universe has be by the THROAT)

mechanic matty by @noacfslut (he might not be my fav matty by elle (diner matty supremacy) but he is DEFINITELY the most dom matty she writes)

AMAZING jealous smut blurb by @sugar-coat-it (but honestly everything belle writes is fucking GOLD. like piercer matty is just unbelievable)

corruption (politician matty) by @abiiors (when everyone was writing politician matty, life was GOOD. anyway this is filthy I love it)

priest matty by @grocerystorelist (religious trauma girlies this is for YOU. so goooood)

totally wrecked (d-word matty) by @toomuchracket (my no.1 dom matty fic. perhaps my no.1 smut fic ever. like ohmygod everytime I re-read it I'm SWEATING. mads can do no wrong)

[hailsatanacab]

Are you still doing the wip ask game? If so, can i ask about number 5?

I love this one and I'm so embarrassed that it's still a wip oh no!!!! This should have been completed a long time ago to celebrate hitting 1,000 followers but uh... it sorta snowballed into way more than I thought it would and this cute little oneshot is now way more than that. Whoops.

It started as a @stealingyourbones prompt that I added on to, which you can read here! Then I posted a wee little wip wednesday sneak peek, and this snippet (is it still a snippet if it's over 1k words?) carries on from there :)

👻🦇👻

Danny doesn’t join him for what is, unexpectedly, a pretty great meal.

“Holy shit, you guys,” he murmurs, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "You’re missing out.”

“Come on, Jay, it can’t be as good as the Big Bat Deluxe.” Dick whines in his ear. “You love those.”

“No, I love the Red Hot Hood Bites. That’s all I get at Bat Burger, and don’t let me hear you telling the others that I get anything else.”

“Please, Jason, don’t think we don’t have everyone’s BB order on file, who do you think you’re talking to?”

“Fuck off, Timbits. Go eat at Red Robin.”

“Hey, fuck you!”

Jason elects to tune out the ensuing list of threats in favour of finishing his burger. He’s heard them all before and he’s like 80% sure that Tim won’t actually hide his body in a Red Robin—if only because it wouldn’t take the World’s Greatest Detective to figure out who did it and he'd be so deep in the fucking shit that he may as well join Jason.

Aside from the food (seriously, that sauce! He’s going to need to rustle up a copycat or something, he can’t leave here without a recipe), the Nasty Burger is a pretty sad affair.

It’s a little run down, the vinyl covers on the seats peeling and suspiciously sticky, and incredibly quiet. The only other people around are the two teens behind the counter, bored and on their phones, and two kids, probably around Danny’s age, sitting in the corner quietly arguing amongst themselves. There’s an ungodly amount of food in front of them, but only the guy seems to be eating.

Jason sighs and looks at the rapidly cooling Supremely Nasty Meal meant for Danny. Taking a few of the fries won’t hurt, will it?

He peels the paper bag away from the greasy mess and digs in. Huh, they really skimped on his lot, there’s only like half a carton in here.

“So, you gonna bring us back something or are we going to have to starve?”

“Haven’t decided yet.”

“What a shame,” Timbo starts, with a theatrical air, “for I am still trying to decide whether or not to tell you everything I’ve learnt about the Fentons. Perhaps we could come to some sort of arrangement?”

“You finally made yourself useful and got through those firewalls?”

“Yeah, once I managed to get my hands on a native laptop. It’s weird, but whatever was keeping out my tech lets anything bought directly from Amity in. Having such localised security—to the point where even my stuff can’t penetrate?— is beyond strange. I don’t like it.”

Jason leans back, and reaches for Danny’s milkshake, finding it surprisingly light when he lifts it up. Seriously, what is with the half portions here? He turns round and glares at the spotty teen behind the counter, who doesn’t look up from his phone. Whatever. It's not like Danny’s going to drink it anyway.

Looks like the two kids in the corner have made up, if their stifled laughter is anything to go by. Most of their own food is gone now, too, so perhaps the real reason it’s called the Nasty Burger is because they stiff you on the food.

“This place is weird.” says Dick, in a rare case of being right.

“You don’t know the half of it…” Tim sighs but doesn’t offer up anything else.

Jason’s been trying his best to ignore it.

The weirdness, that is.

There’s an electrical charge in the air so strong it almost feels like he’s swimming through static. Each breath makes his steps bounce like he’s walking on the moon. If he turns too quickly, if he stands up too fast, his head spins like he's breathing too much oxygen.

No matter what Tim thinks he knows, it’s not the full weirdness of Amity Park, Jason's sure about that. Being here itches under his skin, and he resolves not to delve any deeper into it. Not with the way the green swims on the edges of his vision. 

The sooner they figure out what’s happening here, the better.

“What’s your price?” 

“Two Supremes and a six pack of Nasty Nuggies. Cake shake with two shots of espresso.”

Jason rolls his eyes as Dick splutters in concern.

“Shake and espresso? Tim, you have a problem.”

“It’s just a frappuccino. There’s no difference.”

“Then get a frappuccino.”

“I want a shake.”

“Then there's a difference! And the difference is that Alfred will kill us for enabling you!”

“As riveting as watching Timberly’s mental and physical wellbeing disappear before our very eyes is, what’s your info?”

“The same for me, please!” Dick butts in, yet again. “Except with a coke instead, because I’m normal.”

Both Tim and Jason snort. 

“Yeah, not gonna touch that. Tim, info, come on.”

“Alright, alright. Hey, so, what’s your favourite thing about being adopted?”

“Tim, I swear to God, if you don’t get to the point right now, I’ll—”

“You’re right! It’s that none of us are actually related to you.”

“And yet somehow, I’m still stuck with you all. Point, Tim, get to it.”

He grabs the burger meant for Danny and begins to unwrap it. If he has to listen to Tim being all smug about whatever he’s found out, he’s doing it with a burger in hand.

“Did you know that Willis Todd’s Great-Great-Great-Great-Great Grandfather was a Nightingale?”

“What’s a Nightingale? Aside from the obvious.”

“A Nightingale is about two generations away from becoming a Fenton.”

“Oh, what the fuck? You cannot be serious!”

“Serious as a cake shake with two espressos in it.”

“No, my… Someone ate my other fucking burger!”

Danny’s burger has a huge, bite-sized chunk taken out of it. Literal teeth marks in the bun. A slice of tomato slops limply onto the table, painting his shirt with splatters of weak tomato juice, the red half moon taunting him. Sauce dribbles out mournfully.

The two kids in the corner are staring openly now, faces red with how hard they’re laughing.

Jason sinks into his chair with a groan.

This fucking town. 

Is this how they treat outsiders? Take bites of their burgers while they laugh on—but then why only do it to his spare and not both meals? The teenagers behind the counter aren't even paying any attention, so why bother pulling a prank like this if you're not going to—

Danny.

Jason whips his head around as if he can catch the invisible little shit, but just like on the street, there's no sign of him.

Has he been here the whole time, invisibly eating the food Jason offered him? Except the packaging was still perfectly wrapped, the sticker still attached, how in the hell had he managed to eat the burger without damaging it? Did he get to it in the kitchen? Or does he—

“Wait, hold up. What the fuck did you just say?”

[fatuismooches]

OKI I FEEL KINDA NERVOUS 'CAUSE THIS IS MY FIRST TIME ACTUALLY BEING ANON HERE EVEN THOUGH I READ YOUR FICS FOR A LONG TIME 😭

Anyways I am in such SANDRONE MOOD RN I JUST HAVE TO RAMBLE ABOUT HER.

So, we all know that she has her robot that carries her around, I hc that she doesn't like walking that much and the robot carries her pretty much everywhere. And with you being her lover, naturally, she wants you to be with her pretty much everywhere. The robot ends up carrying her in one hand and you in the other.

Now imagine if the robot broke down on a day she had harbinger meeting to attend to... She didn't want to go, 'cause it meant walking all the way from her lab to the palace.

You try to convince her that those things are really important. She agrees that they are, but isn't her well being more important to you? ☝️😠

She just really didn't want to walk there, but you knew it would be more trouble than it's worth if she didn't show up, so you make a suggestion... Something you wouldn't do if she was anybody else.

You carry her on your shoulders, all the way from her lab to the palace. You were hesitant to make this suggestion, but it became clear to you that she wouldn't leave any other way.

Thankfully she wasn't too heavy, but the path to the palace wasn't really a short one. You thought you could finally have a break when you reached the door to the room where the meeting took place.

Then you heard the soft voice of your lover asking you why did you stop. 🙂

Turns out, the meetings can take a while and there's nowhere to sit during it. She can't stand for that long. 😞 Like fym, and I can with you on my shoulders?

Yeah, guess we'll find out since you did have to do it otherwise the whole trip would be for nothing.

Oh, and don't worry, she already informed the Jester that you're coming with her so you can't use "I can't attend the meeting since I'm not a harbinger" as an excuse. 🥰

Thankfully no one really commented on it. Childe was about to, but was silenced by the intense glare of the Marionette which was deadlier than usual. And you did get a dirty look from Scaramouche.

After the long meeting, your legs were slowly giving out. Thankfully, Sandrone noticed and was like "we can sit down for a while if you're tied" and you're like, "we?".

Yeah, you're replacing her robot for today, so she just has to sit on you. She finds out that sitting on your lap and feeling your warmth was actually quite comfortable. She wonders why you two haven't done this before.

After all of that she finally fixes the robot and you thought you were done.

NOPE! Now she constantly insist on sitting in your lap while she works, even after the robot is fixed.

But she has ran into one small issue. She likes the comfort of sitting in her lap, but the robot can move her where she needs to be when she's sitting in it's hand which makes her more productive.

But no worries, your smart lover has figured out a perfect solution. You sit on the robots hand while she sits in your lap. As goofy as it looks, it's both comfortable and productive, and it makes her happy.

ANYWAYS I ENDED UP RAMBLING TOO MUCH, BUT I JUST LOVE SANDRONE THAT MUCH 😭

[P.S. Can I be the 🦀 anon please?]

UGH YES I LOVE YOU 🦀 ANON... It is very rare that Sandrone is not seen either on her robot or on a regular chair... she doesn't even need to fight herself because the robot can for her... why would one get up if they have no reason to? Now you have no problem with walking places but your lover is rather insistent on having you be carried with her. It's rather fun! The robot holds its hands close to each other so you two are practically brushing shoulders! Very easy to hold hands. (Only in private of course.)

Although it's rare for her heavily invested in robots to malfunction, it can still happen on occasion but it's not a problem since she's very intelligent and efficient. However, this time she did not have the time because the meeting was far too close. She's annoyed but on the bright side, she doesn't need to deal with the irritating voices of her co-workers (Childe especially) but you aren't interested in seeing the Jester in the lab again for a "friendly reminder".

When you offer to carry her all the way there, Sandrone genuinely laughs at the suggestion (you always come up with the most entertaining ideas) but nope, you're dead serious. You will get your wife there, even if it means you need to cross bridges and endure the biting Snezhnayan cold! Even if your legs and shoulders collapse! (The thing you do for her... at least she's rather petite. Your wife said although you weren't as comfortable as her robot, she appreciated your warmth.)

Ahhh it would be so funny depending on how tall you are... If you're tall she would be well above most of the other Harbingers, literally looking down on them... even if you're short (like me 💔) it would still look really funny mwebfwew all while Sandrone has a straight face and you're dying. (You know, even though Sandrone thinks she's winning by hogging your lap, you can still take revenge by squishing her to death!! You may have gotten a death glare from her but it's okay!!)

Ouuuhh,, i can just imagine,, your arms snuggly wrapped around her waist as the robot moves the two of you up and around all the time... it would be so fun even though you're really doing nothing but watching her work,,,

[miaufleur]

puts you in a microwave / silly

-- ✧ what the- LET ME OUT !!!!!!!! *eats your microwave*

[charcuteriecrab]

I felt the need to consume chreon...

[tvonq]

there needs to be a form of hanging out without getting tired after

[enidsinclair]

i went to see the new little mermaid film three times already, mind you i didn’t plan to go three times, i just said yes anytime someone asked me to go see it with them, and i can conclude this is the best live action adaptation of a classic animated film disney has made <3

[napping-sapphic]

Hello! I have a Situation and its totally cool if you're not able to give advice but im looking for advice anyway bc im autistic and have no idea how to navigate romantic situations.

So ive had a friend since i was 12 her pronouns are she/they so i will be using both. Im now 20 and they're 21. I've known I like girls since i was 13. And shes pan.

So, in the past, ive had like fleeting thoughts of dating/kissing them but i usually just shake my head and think "nah i cant possibly want to date her bc they're my best friend, i just have very strong platonic feelings." Like Very Strong. Ive literally said that i will always compare my feelings for a future romantic partner with my feelings for her bc they're so strong.

So im honestly not sure if i would know if i was in love with someone unless it hit me in the face, and i am currently feeling like it has hit me in the face. I woke up at like 4 am last night from a dream just thinking "omygosh im in love with her" and ive been journaling and thinking all day ahout my feelings and im starting to think ive just been in strong denial/oblivious about my feelings. Both bc im autistic and have difficulty identifying emotions and bc im demiromantic and rarely experience romantic attraction so i dont have much experience with it.

I guess the point of this ask is about any advice you can give regarding knowing if i actually have romantic feelings and if i do,, like what do i do about it??? Should i tell them? We have a really strong friendship and i dont wanna make her uncomfortable. I think ill be okay not acting on my feelings but its been literally less than 24 hrs since realizing my feelings might be romantic and i dont know if it will be difficult to hide or what to do about it. They're also like my only close friend so i cant just ask her what to do like i would normally, which is why im asking you.

Again, i understand if you cant answer this bc its a pretty personal situation but i would appreciate any advice.

Thank you! :)

Ahh once again prefacing with the fact that I am really Not Qualified to give advice on most things😅 but I can give you my take as an outsider on the situation and with my (very limited experience) in case that might help you at all, but again really take all of this with a LARGE grain of salt i am a VERY unqualified stranger on the internet so most of what i say is probably nonsense😅

I feel like this is like my go to advice but I’d say just wait it out tbh, as someone who was in capital L love with their childhood best friend for a while it really just came down to time for me. It took a while for me to be sure whether the feelings were romantic or platonic for SURE. Especially since the platonic love stayed for me even when the romantic love began🤷‍♀️ it made it extra tricky to tell lol.

My ‘oh this is NOT just platonic’ realization came from YEARS of excessive thinking about them, WAY too much jealousy when they dated other people, a LOT of thoughts and urges about holding their hand, a lot of comparing them to people i had passing crushes on, and (i kid you not) an embarrassing amount of love poems teenage me wrote about them lol😅

However! The slow process and thinking it through also lead me to the conclusion that i did NOT want to date them. Being a couple just wouldn’t work for us and I value them so so so SO much as my best friend and really need them in my life as that separate, constant, platonic relationship that I deeply love and care for. It works better for us than any sort of dating could🤷‍♀️ not to mention all of our other clashing traits that just wouldn’t work if our relationship was romantic. And now I’m honestly really not romantically interested in them anymore, they’re just my best friend and always will be :)

I dont think it’s too unusual to fall a bit (or a lot) romantically in love with a best or close friend, I think the more important thing to recognize is whether it’s something worth acting on, that you’re willing to act on, and that will be good for both of you to act on

So I’d say ruminate on it! There’s no pressure to figure it out, if you start getting too preoccupied with it you can try talking it through with them, not even as a confession type thing, you can simply have a conversation letting them know you’re a little confused or wanting their opinion if you think they’ll be receptive to it. Best I can tell you is that there’s no clock on figuring it out, there’s no “right” way to define what type of love you feel, and to remember that either way you’ve got a great person in your life. I’m very sorry I can’t be more help and if anyone has any other advice feel free to leave it in the notes for this person! Good luck to you and I hope you find what you’re looking for soon <3!!

[thecrabtain]

Stfu I'm bathing my Tewi

[silverryu25]

GET CRABBED!! ✨🦀NO PRESSURE TO SEND TO OTHERS, UNLESS YOU WANNA CRAB THEM TOO FOR BEING AN AMAZING CRUSTACEAN!! 🦞🦀🦞🦀✨🦀✨🦞✨🦀

@kirango-rouge

first I was attacked and now I got crabbed?? gosh darn i'm really drowning in love here~

[us3rnam3-r3dact3d]

YESS cheesecake supremacy 🫶🫶

my top 3 are carrot cake, red velvet and cheesecake

-🦀

Excellent choices all around! I love lemon and pound cake as well!

[ezy-talks]

Swindle is basically the Mr. Krabs of Transformers if you think about it