#🥶🥶🥶 LOOKING ASS

[jizskat]

I'm blue,, da da dee

[harrysfolklore]

I DESPERATELY NEED THEM PIASTRI FICS 💳💳💥

FIRST OSCAR FIC 🥺 i know this concept has been done before but i loved how this one turned out and i hope you do too ! lmk your thoughts

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by madisonbeer, oscarpiastri and 2,574,339 others

yourinstagram GUTS has been out for a week !! what’s yalls favorite song? 🤧

view all 15,965 comments

ynfan1 DONT MAKE ME CHOOSE

mtv definitely get him back!

ynfan2 choosing a favorite guts song is like choosing a favorite child

dualipa STUNNING ANGEL 🤩

oscarfan1 can oscar reply to this i want to know his favorite song

↳ oscarfan2 wbk he has this album on repeat

chappelroan lacy oh lacy 😩

oscarpiastri Love is embarrassing or logical

↳ oscarfan1 THERE YOU HAVE IT

↳ oscarfan2 whatever you do don’t picture oscar singing love is embarrassing like a teenage girl

↳ ynfan1 crying bc i bet yn has no idea of who he is

liked by landonorris, charles_leclerc and 287,689 others

oscarpiastri F1 race winner has a nice ring to it 🧡

view all 7,773 comments

oscarfan1 FINALLYYY MY WINNER

landonorris Congrats mate ! Deserve it 👊

↳ oscarfan2 LOMLS

mclaren YES, YES IT DOES! 👏 So good today, Oscar. 🧡

longansargeant So proud of you mate 🙌

oscarfan3 do you think his crush will acknowledge his existence now that he’s a winner?

↳ oscarfan1 wait who’s his crush im out of the loop

↳ oscarfan3 singer and actress yn lol

↳ ynfan1 i love this lore so much

//

liked by oscarpiastri, arianagrande and 2,740,727 others

yourinstagram tickets for the GUTS tour are on sale now who’s cominggggg🥶

view all 16,725 comments

ynfan1 LETS GOOO

chappelroan i can’t wait for thissss💜

ynfan2 tour of the decade already

mtv pop princess is coming

oscarfan1 do you think oscar woke up for the fan pre sale and got into the queue and all

↳ oscarfan2 you BET

oscarpiastri Count me in ♥︎ by author

↳ oscarfan1 HEEEEELP

↳ ynfan1 yn liked his comment 😭

↳ oscarfan2 somebody check on oscar please

//

liked by yourinstagram, landonorris and 288,293 others

oscarpiastri Days off 🌊

view all 7,238 comments

oscarfan1 this is the hottest man alive

mclaren 🙌

oscarfan2 not him posting this right after yn followed him 😭 we know what you’re doing sir

ynfan1 yn likeddd

↳ ynfan2 i love how both fandoms are rooting for them now

landonorris Looks dope 👊

yourinstagram niiiiceeee 😃

↳ ynfan1 HELLO????

↳ oscarfan1 now he’s for real going to pass out

↳ oscarfan2 i bet he’s staring at his phone wondering if this is real or if she was hacked

↳ ynfan2 i know this woman SHES FLIRTING

↳ ynfan3 come on girl give him a chance

four months later

//

liked by ynfan1, oscarfan1 and 17,397 others

f1gossip Oscar Piastri with singer and actress YN in Los Angeles today 👀

view all 3,028 comments

oscarfan1 OMFG

oscarfan2 no way…

ynfan1 YALL, HE GOT IT

oscarfan3 i cannot believe my eyes, oscar has been simping over her on the internet since 2020 and how we have THIS

ynfan2 i really need to know how did this happen

oscarfan4 okay but THEIR SMILES !!!!

ynfan3 finally a guy who’s not a loser and/or an old ass

liked by oscarpiastri, sabrinacarpenter and 2,836,473 others

yourinstagram pastry boy clearly didn’t wait until i finished sneezing to take this picture 🤧

view all 17,826 comments

ynfan1 IS SHE TALKING ABOUT OSCAR??

oscarfan1 PASTRY BOY AS IN OSCAR PIASTRI ?

conangray love me a soft launch 🧐

↳ ynfan1 OMFGGGGGG

ynfan2 i can’t believe she’s potentially dating someone her age and with a job FINALLY

oscarfan2 oscar is proof that persistence is key and manifestation works

landonorris Typical pastry fashion

↳ yourinstagram idk how you deal with him all the time

↳ oscarfan1 ALSJAO THIS IS TOO MUCH

↳ oscarfan2 i need her to befriend the entire grid ASAP

oscarpiastri But it made it to your Instagram, so you’re welcome

↳ yourinstagram well thank you you’re very humble

↳ oscarpiastri Anytime 🤍

↳ oscarfan1 I’VE DIED DEAD

↳ ynfan1 stop flirting in front of us HELLO?

after the date

//

liked by oscarpiastri, chappelroan and 2,027,933 others

yourinstagram the GUTS tour takes tokyo today !!! this is going to be one of the most special shows ever 🥺

view all 25,736 comments

ynfan1 AHHHH

ynfan2 huuuhh is she planning something ??

conangray that’s my best friend 😍

oscarfan1 oscar dating a popstar is the best thing ever look at herrr

landonorris Can’t wait 🙌🏻

↳ landofan1 HUHHH?

↳ oscarfan1 is he going ?? WITH OSCAR ??

sabrinacarpenter 💗💗💗

oscarpiastri Please sing deja vu tonight

↳ yourinstagram you got it

↳ oscarfan1 AH I CANT BELIEVE WE MIGHT HAVE OSCAR (AND LANDO??) ATTENDING HER SHOW

//

liked by landonorris, yourinstagram and 538,299 others

oscarpiastri I had the best time ever in Tokyo 🙌🏻

view all 8,626 comments

oscarfan1 BABYYY

oscarfan2 i love him so bad

mclaren 🧡

ynfan1 oh we know why he had the best time

logansargeant Little boy in love

↳ oscarfan1 HWEEELP ME

landonorris Why are you posing like a five year old?

↳ landofan1 HEEEEEELP ME

↳ oscarfan1 i love them bad

↳ yourinstagram I SAID THE SAME THING !!

↳ ynfan1 man i love this

yourinstagram no picture credits ? really ?

↳ ynfan2 AHHH

↳ oscarpiastri 📸 credits to Miss America

↳ oscarfan3 WHY AM I CRYING

liked by oscarpiastri, madisonbeer and 2,197,499 others

yourinstagram night version. 📸 by vroom vroom guy

view all 17,836 comments

ynfan1 OMFG???

oscarfan1 VROOM VROOM GUY?

mtv 🏎️ & 🎤 together was the best thing that happened to us

ynfan2 it’s actually so refreshing to see her dating someone her age who she can have fun with and not some pretentious old ass man who mansplains her

landonorris My children 🫶🏻

↳ landofan1 lando is the biggest shooter for this relationship

oscarfan2 oscar really bagged his biggest crush by being on her comments all the time that’s persistence

alexandrasaintmleux Belleeee 💕

↳ yourinstagram aleeeex i loved hanging out with you let's go out without the boys soon

↳ charlesfan1 LET ME IIIINNN

ynfan3 and when yn writes a song for him

logansargeant I can’t wait to meet you!

↳ yourinstagram pastry is sooo wrong for not introducing us yet

↳ oscarfan1 oscar wdym you haven’t introduced your gf to your best friend

oscarpiastri 😍

↳ oscarfan1 OSCCCC

↳ ynfan1 he’s down bad i get him

//

liked by oscarfan1, ynfan1 and 18,826 others

ynupdates YN and Oscar out and about tonight !

view all 3,022 comments

ynfan1 OH LOOOORD

oscarfan1 I CANTTT

ynfan2 i can’t stress how good it is that she’s dating someone her age enough

oscarfan2 KING OF MANIFESTATION

ynfan3 i mean we already knew they were together but seeing them with all this pda is so cuuuuute

oscarfan3 IM SO JEALOUS

liked by oscarpiastri, troyesivan and 2,965,278 others

yourinstagram 5 new tunes for ya !!!! GUTS (spilled) out friday!!!

view all 25,926 comments

ynfan1 WTFFF I DIDNT SEE THIS COMING

ynfan2 CLAIMING SO AMERICAN

dualipa YEEES ❤️‍🔥

oscarfan1 i’m pretty sure there’s an oscar song there i just KNOW IT

ynfan3 more angsty breakup songs IM READY

landonorris 🙌🙌🙌🙌

oscarfan2 ready for oscar to annoy lando with those on repeat

mclaren We can’t wait to hear all of them 🧡

↳ oscarfan1 MCLAREN INTERN ARE YOU OKAY?

↳ ynfan1 she’s the people’s princess

oscarpiastri I can confirm those songs are amazing

↳ ynfan1 he already heard them IM SO JEALOUS

↳ oscarfan2 spill the tea are any of those about you

//

liked by yourinstagram, charles_leclerc and 869,044 others

oscarpiastri I laugh at all her jokes and I say she’s so American. So I might just be in lo-lo-lo-love 🧡

view all 9,725 comments

oscarfan1 LAJSIAHAUAB

oscarfan2 I 😭 CANT 😭 BELIEVE 😭 THIS

ynfan1 she’s wearing a friendship bracelet for him MY HEART

charles_leclerc I’m happy for you, son ❤️

↳ charlesfan1 CHARRRR

ynfan2 this is so cute i can’t also when did that sneaky shit go to his race

ynfan3 YN LOVER ERA YN SIMP ERA YN WAG ERA

oscarfan3 long story short: never give up on your celebrity crush

logansargeant ❤️❤️

landonorris Young love, so adorable

ynfan4 THE LYRICS REFERENCE

francisca.cgomes 🥺🥺🥺

↳ ynfan1 she’s already so loved by the wags

yourinstagram love youuuu, pastry 🤧

↳ ynfan2 i love all the nicknames he uses for him

↳ oscarfan1 pastry, vroom vroom boy. she’s just so romantic

[sorashard11]

Im head costume for my theater and is absolutely hairlious to me that he had a fucking hoop skirt on or some kind of pedi coat. Dress don't do that shit normally but since his dress has the frillies on the bottom he probably has two on. One for shape (bc that is a CRAZY dress shape that bitch goes out and in) and another for the poof. There are some that have both poof and shape but the shape of that dress is crazy 😭😭

Also bro is wearing an apron with a tie in the back and he is snatched

Idk how bros wheel r doing that. He had this shit custom made.

Absolutely no hate but, the way you draw your human au Hotshot is really sus, its like you're feminizing him for the sake of you're "yaoi" ship dynamic with Wedge, hcs are fine but it just seems very ooc

Idk anon he isn't exactly the pinnacle of manliness

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : Thank you guys for dropping messages 🧡 I really really appreciate them and I love interacting w/ u guys 🥺. If you have questions or anything u want to say to me~ go ahead and don’t be shy.

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Warnings : Cursing , Grammatical Errors

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

< Previous | Part 11 | Next >

skysportsf1

liked by user1 and others

skysportsf1 P3 for Oscar! Catch up with the interview with our Fav Aussie in Papaya

user1 This interview was filled with so much tension (?) I can’t explain it.

user2 Osc looks like his both happy and at the same time angry??

user3 YES EXACTLY. Boy was seething and so uncomfortable when he was asked about Lando and Mclaren… then he was all smiles for the last question??

user4 “i’m paid to race, so I’ll race” OK SIR 🥶

user5 Oscar said fuck Lando’s race, I’m driving for myself

user6 Kimi Raikkonen is back y’all… hello Ice man

user7 Oscar has the WDC mentality 🔥

user8 A lot will happen?? what will happen huh Oscar Jack Piastri?? tell us.

user9 He is planning smth i swear.

user10 Ok Osc is pissed about Mclaren. That joke about losing his job was so dry, boi was angry fr.

user11 watch out for lap 1 turn 1 tomorrow. Oscar is taking the gap!!

f1wags.

liked by user1 and user2

f1wags Y/N was spotted leaving the Hilton (McLaren’s hotel).

user1 Noooooooooo Y/N pls dont leave! like where are you even going 😭

user2 First Y/N wasnt present in Quali and now she’s leaving the hotel??? what happened to her and Oscar??

user1 pls dont let them end before they even started

user2 I just got to know about them and I refuse to let it go!

user3 Did she leave with her luggage? maybe she went out for smth??

user4 She was spotted carrying her suitcase😭

user5 Lando Norris I swear to everything you love I’ll hunt you down

user6 Seriously, he couldn’t just let Y/N be happy huh? Bro had to cheat and make more problems 🤡

user7 Ik!! Dude stay on your lane. You end ella deserve each other so much

user8 who’s ella?

user9 Oh shes just Y/N’s ex friend that Lando cheated with 🤢. Lando and her really do complement each other so well 🤡

user10 WHY IS THERE A RUMOR THAT Y/N AND OSCAR ARE OVER?!!

user11 I mean if its true and they’re done… they couldnt even last 1 race week together. What kind of relationship is that 🙂

user12 @user11 a normal one?? imagine having so much stress and an ex trying to sabotage your love life.

*incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Decline

*incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Decline

*incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Decline

Notification : you received a message from Osc🧡

*incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Pick Up

“I’m literally on the way, Osc. stop worrying!”

“I know, I know! I just miss you so much my most beautiful and lovely girlfriend”

“And whose fault was that hmm?”

“Mine…”

“Uhuh, I’ll be over there in a few minutes be patient dum-dum”

“Did John give you the keys to my room?”

“He did. I still can’t believe you got a room next to Charles’s without the rest of McLaren knowing that one of their drivers is not in their hotel”

“Well that one of the pros of them only caring about Lando’s ass”

“Thank you McLaren favoritism. I still can’t fucking believe that they’re ordering you around for personal matters”

“Yeah, fucking unbelievable. I thought Alpine was the worst. What employer has the right to dictate their driver’s personal decisions? they’re fucking crazy.”

“But are you sure you want to disobey orders? We could always keep us lowkey…”

“Screw lowkey and screw team orders! I’m not keeping us a secret!”

“As long as you want it Osc, I’m ok with anything as long as i’m with you”

“I’m perfectly sure, Dear”

“Ok. Oh! I’m near the hotel.”

“I’ll fetch you in the lobby alright?”

“mhm. Bye ~ love you!”

“love you more”

call ended

Y/N. close friends 3m

story replies

oscarpiastri am i forgiven then my luv? 🥺

Y/N. Hell nah, im still making you work for it 😌

oscarpiastri We have our whole lives, take your time~ im not leaving baby. Till death do us part girl.

Y/N. Wtf, i’m your girlfriend for hours and ur thinking about marriage???

oscarpiastri Yes. ur meeting my parents next week 🥰😘

Y/N. I have no words Oscar Jack Piastri

oscarpiastri an I do would be great

Y/N. I cant with you HAHAHAHAHA i love you so much. thank you for not giving up on us

oscarpiastri I love you so much more and I’m not making the mistake of letting you go.

danielricciardo Girl you were just crying yesterday I-

Y/N. ok now i’m crying for a different reason

danielricciardo I dont want to hear your sex life with Osc. pls dont 😷

Y/N. DANNY WTF NOT THAT 😩. I meant I’m crying tears of joy… I’m not going to talk about my sex life with u tf

danielricciardo that’s what i meant stupid! ur like a sister to me. Get u and oscs germs away from me🤢

Y/N. Stfu dweeb 🤓.

danielricciardo thank fuck that u two straightened things out . You two owe me big time for being ur messenger 😤

Y/N. yeah yeah~ thanks danny 😘🧡

danielricciardo I’m not kidding, you OWE me 🤡

y/bf DAMN OK. I expected an update but not this . Holy damn Y/N! so you and osc are good then?

Y/N. We areeeeee… and its official~ 🙈

y/bf Oh thank goodness!! Im so glad y/nieee 😭. I was about to book a flight too, you bitch!

Y/N. Really?? ughh you really do love me.

Y/bf are you happy?

Y/N. Yes. I really am .. and I think Osc and I need a to label our relationship. sooo yeahh~ let more drama pour, at least now we know where we stand.

f1wags.

liked by user1 and others

f1wags. Y/N is in the paddock for the race 🧡

user1 Y/N FINALLY!! girl ur lack of attendance made us worry!! pls tell us u and osc are ok???

user2 The 2 days you’ve been gone in the paddock made everyone crazy! Theories of breakups and come backs are spread 😭

user3 Y/N strutting back in the paddock like nothing happened ~ Ok slay. I need that type of confidence

user4 Fr, Y/N waltzing in like she didn’t just drop a literal diss track on Lando

user5 As she should 💅

user6 THAT FIT THO 🥵🔥

user7 she ain’t dressing Lowkey Y’all . She’s here and she’s ready to serve!

user8 when Oscar said things are happening? things are HAPPENING and it starts with Y/N L/N.

user9 Ok Y/N! show them what’s up.

user10 McLaren can’t stop this girl.

Y/N. 45m

story replies

oscarpiastri Thank you Baby 🧡

Y/N. That overtake in turn 1 was so good Osc!! I got goosebumps

oscarpiastri ur only saying that cuz I got Lando down into P4 with my move

Y/N. NO you just were amazing! ngl i did enjoy throwing Lando out 👹

oscarpiastri I did promise a show 😉 and speaking of shows~ I need to go to our de breifing and watch them clown around.

Y/N. Okay! I’ll be with Alex at Ferrari. Call me when you need meeee. Bye luv.

* at McLaren motorhome, driver debriefing room.

-what the fuck was that at turn 1 Oscar?!-

-That’s what you call racing, I saw a gap and I took it-

-You cost me my race. That podium should be mine-

-Not my fault you bottled your first lap, now is it?-

-OK STOP. Oscar you should think about the team! Lando was on pole!-

-Funny how that works. You hired me to drive and I did. I got you your podium and points for your constructors-

-Follow team orders! that’s your fucking job-

-What you expect me to sit still and take it?-

-Yes, Oscar. That’s how this team works-

- Tsk and that goes for personal matters too?-

-Ah, so that’s what it is? This is about Y/N. Are you worried that she’ll see you as the loser you are?-

-Not at all, specially when I don’t get babied by the team. Tell me how does it feel like kissing up the boss’ ass? -

- FUCK YOU! -

-THAT’S ENOUGH. Oscar you should know when to stop! You’re still new here… learn your place and follow orders exactly as stated — and that goes with Y/N L/N keep your distance or face the consequences -

- Watch me -

*Incoming call from Osc🧡

Pick up or Decline

Pick up

“Hi Osc! are you done?”

“Dear, do you trust me?”

“What?…. about what?”

“Do you trust me?”

“Yes. I do”

“Ok. Baby we’re going public”

Extra A/N: hihihi did I scare you with the false breakup?? 🤭

Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed

Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now

[supersillyycat]

Pip had enough 🥶

I almost died making this/j

Idea from my friend @beeaverv :3

(Pip beating Cartman up with the other 3 watching)

It was originally just gonna be one silly fight scene but for some reason I decided to bust my ass trying to make three drawings

☺️

If I find any imperfections after it's posted I WILL scream.

OH also I used a different brush other than my usual sooo it looks a little different at least to me it does

[literallyd34d]

”

Hawk 1: What's 2+2? Hawk 2: uhhhhhh Those who know: 💀" Those who actually know 👇💀

hawk 1: whats 2+2?

hawk 2: natural selction

those who know : 💀

those who know : 💀 💀 💀 (only in columbine highschool)

know who those: 💀

those know who: 💀

those: 😱

evil eric who manipulated baby dylan: why so serious?🏫🔫

(only in littleton)

💀💀THOSE WHO fail to make bombs in they school and place them in the cafeteria💀💀💀💀💯respect 1000%

skibidi dylan: why so skibidi?👽🚽

THOSE WHO ARE A JEW: 👿😈👺 👹 😡 (dylan)

Actually good dylan(n): Dylann Roof 🥣 (his bowlcut)

those who are a skbidi toilet gyat: brr skibidi dop dop dop yes yes 🚽🚽🪠 🤑 💯💀💀💀

those who are natural born killers: 🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏳️‍🌈

hawk 1: wrath

hawk 2: natural selection

THOSE WHO ARE STUDENT: 💀

those who dont know: 😃

THOSE WHO ARE THE ARMY OF TWO: ✈️🏢🏢

THOSE WHO SUE GUN MANUFACTURERS: 🤑🤑🤑🤑✅ 💸 💰 💹 🪙 💳 💱 💵 💶 💷 💴 💲 🥇

those who are dead: 💀💀🪦🥀 (american school children)

THOSE who are SUS: 😼🔫 💀💀

those who are cold: 🥶 🧊 🌨️ ❄️ ⛄ ☃️ 😰 💧 🏔️ 🎿 ⛷️ 🌫️ 💀💀 (elephant movie shower scene)

ENGLISH OR GERMAN 😈 mah bois: *frozen* 🥶 sussy eric: *moves* CAN I GET A HOYAAAA? me: AYOO- 😳 Jonkler: Why so serious 👽 those who know:💀(only in littleton) "I love flesh . . . weisses fleisch! Dein weisses fleisch erregt mich so, Ich bin doch nur ein Gigolo!"

those who are fat: 🎅 🫄 🍽️ 🍲 🍝 🥘 🥣 💀💀💀 (payton gendron)

Eric Harris: Cookie dough!

respect 1000% sigma rizzler colorado balkans littleton 8276 S. Reed Street, Littleton, Colorado, 80120 rizz (impossible zero day respect) 💯💯💯🙏🙏

THOSE WHO SEEK DYLRIC WITH THEY "DAMN ERIC THAT BOYPUSSY TIGHT ASF 😂😂😂" 💀💀💀💯 🔟00000000 RESPECT SENTENCE TO RIZZLER SCHOLL

those who are full of hate: 💀💀

hate of full are who those: 💀💀

AND LOVE IT: 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💀💀🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💀💀🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💀💀🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

THOSE WHO ARE KMFDM: 😭😭😭 (it aint cool to shoot up your school)

some randoms tryna rob me* the robber: run yo pockets G !! me with infinite aura: my horny ass could not be in a school shooting 🏫🔫 robber: BOI 😂🫲🏻 me say: english or german *me walk like a natural hawk tuah

those who are a gun in there hand and a throw and there pipebomb at a and people 💀💀💀1 billion respect 💯💯��

those who are a sue klebold: 👵🏻 -> 💀

💀💀those who those and they and a throw it at people💀💀💀💀💯respect 1000%

those who are in columbine:💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀🪦🥀

those who are in virginia tech:💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀🪦🥀

those who are in sandy hook:💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀🪦🥀

THOSE WHO JAMES GAMBLE 🎰 🎲 💵 💰 🤑 🍀 💀💀

420 spring arc coming bro ENGLISH OR GERMAN BLUD 😈

mah bois: frozen 🥶

sus eric harris: moves CAN I GET A HOYAAAA? We ........ have ...... GUNS! we fucking got them you sons of bitches! HA! HA 😆😆 HA HA! Neener! Booga Booga.

Heh, get this. KMFDM’s new album’s entitled “Adios” and its release date is in April. How fuckin appropriate 🤑👿🤑👿🤑

dylan and eric: 🏳️‍🌈

arlene: 🔫

those who know:💀(only in littleton)

HAWKTUAH

cal gabriel at the tik tok rizz party:

me: gooning or edging ?

skibidi andre: IMAGINE IF OUR SCHOOL GOT A LOW TAPER FADE 🔫🔫🔫

me:Albania flicker goons𔑘𔒦 hawk tuah fucker

And no 😣 don’t ❌ fucking say 😦 “well 👤 that’s 😐 your fault” 👿 because 👄 it isn’t, 👏❌🗺️ you people had my phone ☎ #, and I asked and all, 😰🏼 but 💪😤 no. no ❌ no 😣😣😣 no don’t 🚫 let the weird ⛎ looking Eric KID 👦 come 🤣 along, ooh fucking nooo. 😩

fucker should be shot

[sunrizef1]

Heart Eyes

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x Reader

Authors note: today i discovered that I can fully just screenshot Instagram posts so that was really helpful 🤦‍♀️ | another quick one | opening my Carlos Sainz list then 🌶️

Warnings: one curse word

Face Claim: Joanna Pincerato

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yourusername

liked by carlossainz and 101,008 others

yourusername ❄️☀️

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user1 omg 🤩

user2 too hot to get cold

user3 my fav

user4 I love her so much

user5 Carlos Sainz in the likes again

user6 someone tell him to shoot his shot lmao

user7 it’s been months 😭

user8 ahhhhh she looks so pretty

user9 🫶

user10 lovely

user11 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

user12 I need that swimsuit

user13 I could never 🥶

carlossainz 😍

liked by yourusername

user14 omg Carlos finally commented

user15 about time

user16 her hair is so nice

user17 ❄️❄️❄️

user18 y/n just liking Carlos’ comment is so funny to me

user19 prettyyyy

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yourusername added to their story

carlossainz

Beautiful querida 😍

yourusername

Thank you Carlos 🤭 🫶

carlossainz

Of course ángel ❤️

yourusername loved a message

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yourusername

liked by carlossainz and 105,001 others

yourusername museum day 🖼️

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user20 queen

user21 so pretty

user22 my fav

user23 🎨🎨🎨

user24 Carlos back in the likes

user25 lmao my man’s always lurking I can’t

user26 artsy vibes 👩‍🎨

carlossainz you’re the most beautiful art 😍

yourusername ahhh thank you carlito 🫶

user27 CARLOSSSSSS

user28 my man went from heart eye emojis to full sentences, they grow up so fast

user29 oh trust he still included the heart eyes

user28 can’t change him lmao

user30 and she replied!!! 🥹

user31 they’re already so cute I can’t

user32 ❤️❤️❤️

user33 the fit eats

user34 the prettiest painting is you 🫶

user35 Carlos already pulled that one

user35 good try though queen 🫶

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yourusername added to their story

user36

SMOOTH OPERATORRRRR

user37

Carlos????

user38

Is that my bbg Carlos Sainz

user39

HE DID IT

user40

That better be car boy or so help me god

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carlossainz

liked by yourusername charles_leclerc and 2,711,008 others

carlossainz mi sol ☀️😍

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user41 “my sun” 🥹

user42 Carlos don’t simp on main challenge: impossible

user43 IS THAT BBG Y/N!!!!???

user44 y/n? 🥹

user45 I hope that’s y/n

user46 wait yall know who that is???

user47 we think it’s this girl that Carlos has been interacting with for months now

user46 what’s her @

user47 @/yourusername

user46 omg I just checked and this man has been down bad for months hasn’t he?? 😭

user47 he has been 😭

user48 loml

user49 😍🤩

user50 heart eye emojis, my man is consistent fr

user51 stop with the woke soft launch madness

user52 show it to me Rachel

user53 just tag her bro 😩

user54 y/n liked!!! 😍😍😍😍

user55 ☀️☀️☀️

user56 my fav couple

user57 they’ve been together 3 seconds and he hasn’t even confirmed that that’s y/n

user56 idc I feel it in my nuggets

user58 BAE 🤭

user59 @/yourusername is this u queen???

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yourusername added to their story

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yourusername

liked by carlossainz landonorris and 420,690 others

yourusername my boy ❤️

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user60 Carlos crumbs

user61 I’m sure everyone will be completely normal and calm about this

user62 CARLOSSSSSSSSS 🏎️🏎️🏎️🏎️

user63 YEAHHH CARLITO

user64 that’s the smooth operator I know it is

user65 my down bad king Carlos Sainz

user66 LANDO LIKEDDDD

user67 that’s how we know it’s real, he’s involved his friends 🤭

user68 idc that buff ass arm is car number 55

user69 do we know that’s Carlos???

user70 it has to be

user71 if its not I might jump off a high building

user72 woah, bit dramatic

user71 🤷🏽‍♀️

user73 my two favs 🤩

user74 I think I’m in love with her not even kidding

user75 me too queen

user75 she’s genuinely so pretty 😭

user76 they’re such pretty people, I need couple photos NEOW

user77 hard-launch 🔜 pls

user78 why are they pretending like we don’t know who their launching 😭

carlossainz 😍

yourusername 🤭 ❤️

user79 alright so now we definitely know who that is 😭

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yourusername added to their story

carlossainz

mi amore

I sent you that in confidence 😩

yourusername

Sorry baby

You just look so cute 🤭

carlossainz

Ah I cant be mad at you querida

But that definitely feels like a “hard-launch”

yourusername

I guess it is 😅

carlossainz

at least I get to post you now 🫶

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carlossainz

liked by yourusername charles_leclerc and 5,001,009 others

carlossainz amor de me vida 😍

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user80 YAYYYYYY

user81 finally 😭

user82 love of my life 🥹

user83 my favorite couple

charles_leclerc ah congratulations!

carlossainz Gracias Charles!

user84 ❤️❤️❤️

user85 THEYVE LAUNCHED

user86 smooth operatorrrrr

user87 beautiful couple ❤️

user88 awwww 🥹

user89 HES DONE IT

user90 y/n posted that story and he was quick with the relationship post 😭😐

user91 he needed us to know lmao

user92 endgame fr

user93 they're so pretty together 🫶

user94 Carlos has been working for this for months, proud of him

user95 can't stop the grind

user96 smooth operator on and off the track

user97 🌶️🌶️🌶️

user98 wait they feel so real like they actually like eachother

user99 “like”? That man is in love with her idc

user100 lmao he definitely acts like it

landonorris smooth operatorrrr

liked by carlossainz

user101 lmao even Landos using the joke

user102 I can’t they’re so perfect 😭

yourusername love youuu 🥹🫶

carlossainz te amo mi sol ❤️

user103 THE HEART EYES IN THE CAPTION!!! 😭😭😭😭 I LOVE THEM!!!

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@casperlikej @evie-119

[papaya-twinks]

printer - l.n

Warnings: Fernando throwing shade 🥶

Pairing: Lando Norris x fem!reader

A/N - going through my camera roll and found the video of my ancient ass grand father (conveniently called fernando) standing with old man pose (hands behind back, disgruntled expression) peer into the cot (where baby me is), turn to my mother and say, “I see you did a printer job of Aurelio (my dad), Raya (my mum)” and it’s giving Fernando meeting Lando’s kid

Yours and Lando’s daughter was 2 years today, and you finally decided it would be a good idea to bring him to the paddock to meet some of the drivers. “C’mon, Cheriie,” Lando cooed, leading your daughter behind you into the paddock. She babbled incoherently, wearing a little orange McLaren shirt, her hair tied into pigtails with papaya beads on the ends. 

“Hey mate,” Max said, Penelope behind him as her eyes widened at your daughter. “Hey,” Lando nodded, stepping aside so Cheriie could see Penelope. “This Cheriie?” Max kneeled down, smiling at your daughter. “Yeah,” you said, holding onto Lando’s hand as you watched Penelope babble to your daughter. 

“We’re taking her round to meet some of the drivers,” Lando said, picking Cheriie up into his arms as she giggled. The small commotion of Penelope and Cheriie caused a few drivers to come over - George and Lewis, and Charles and Carlos. “Ah, little chilli,” Carlos peered at the girl wriggling in Lando’ arms. 

“Absolutely not, you’re going to convince her to be Spanish or something,” Lando grumbled. “Yes, being Monegasque is better,” Charles said triumphantly. “I think she should stay with us,” you said, shaking your head as Lewis picked her up. “She looks just like you, mate,” he nodded to Lando as your boyfriend laughed. 

“Got her mother’s charm,” he winked as you flushed softly. “Ah un bebe?” a voice said behind you, making you turn, seeing Fernando. He raised an eyebrow, peering at the child, his hands behind his back, classic old man pose, his face emotionless. “Y/N?” the older Spaniard said. 

You looked up at his call. “I see you have done a printer job of Lando,” the words made you snort as Lando scoffed. “Did you even help with this baby? One man tango?” Fernando’s words made you shriek, covering your face. “She’ll be like her mum, just wait,” Lando said.

[hazelfoureyes]

The Safeword is RadioApple (part 5)

Part 1 ꒰აMaleReader✧FemaleReader໒꒱ Part 2 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱ Part 3 ꒰აAlastorxLucifer໒꒱ tidbit (cute, not smut) Part 4 ꒰აFemaleReader໒꒱ ₊⊹⁀➴ Lucifer wins⟡Alastor Wins tidbit 2 (cute? Not smut)

Alastor’s rut starts, and while Luci is flattered Alastor’s body sees him as a doe he’s not really down to clown. Yet, somehow…🎪 🤡

「warnings/promises: Alastor x Luci x FemReader, smut, knotting (incorrect deer anatomy), cold tea, womb flooding, Oh Yeah Luci magics a WAP (wet ass pussy) Howd I forget that 💋, so kinda virgin Luci???, threesome obvs, tentacles, sex with the lights on, jiggle physics, mating, breed kink, fluffy chest, Luci wings, brief moment of panicked wing pulling」

minors I will curse all your tea to be cold before you remember to drink it if you interact 🍵 🥶 (mdni)

It was a hilarious detail that ruts exist in hell for the more mammalian sinners. Making people incapable of producing children cyclically embarrass themselves by desperately trying to? While in terrible discomfort? Patently funny.

What wasn’t funny was the fact Alastor was a deer demon. And while Luci got a chuckle at other sinners getting their just desserts for their poor decisions concerning free will, he was now intimately tied to one of those afflicted souls.

It hadn’t really crossed his mind that such an issue could arise until Alastor began to change. 

The first sign was intense sessions of zoning not. While he often would stare off into the distance it was usually paired with an obvious look of contemplation. But one evening Luci looked up from his sketches to see Alastor staring into the void with a noticeable lack of any light behind his eyes.

It took you putting your hand on his shoulder to rouse him back to Hell. His ears perked up and eyes brightened, Luci taking note of how Alastor looked at you. A look shared between two people. Could a third person fit into the line of sight?

He shifted uncomfortably, laughing off Alastor as being drunk. 

Maybe. But when he found Alastor the following morning drenched in sweat and uncharacteristically… well, asleep, he began to worry. 

The face you made was only slightly worried, but what made the situation feel even odder was your insistence he wake up Alastor.

“Just, rub his arm. Don’t shake him. It’ll startle him.” You seemed to scoot away as you said it, which didn’t help Luci’s confidence. 

“What- why, what’s going on? What are you fleeing from?”

You had an inkling about what was happening.

“Is he sick!? Is it contagious?” Luci drew his hands to his chest, “Sinners are so gross.”

The sweating was your tip-off. “No, he’s not sick. If I do it he might react weird. You do it, he’ll not care.”

Luci grimaced, “Kitten, you’ve never made less sense than when you first told me you liked this man.”

A whimper from the deer demon made you both turn your heads to him. 

“Lucifer.” You hissed.

Alastor did not in fact “not care”, as you had promised. He had Luci pinned under him, bodies tangled in the blankets and Luci’s hands held up and out before Alastor’s eyes were even opened.

As the short king looked up at the drenched and pale radio demon, he saw a distance in the blown out stare. But whatever fog had possessed him seemed to lift as his pupils constricted, a gentle roll of his lower half into Lucifer’s making Luci yelp Alastor’s name.

He reeled back on his knees, long talons raking through his hair to unstick the strands sweat had glued to his face.

Peering down through long lashes, Alastor took a moment to assess the sight before him. Luci expected a glare as recognition flooded the other man, but instead a deep sigh before Alastor lifted off him.

His hand caught your arm and gently tugged you to follow him.

Deja vu set in as Lucifer watched Alastor take you into the bathroom. The door closed, but before he could holler how rude it was to leave him out, you re-emerged.

A sheepish look, a twirling of your fingers around themselves, “Luci.” The way you so gently sat on the edge of the bed made his stomach sink.

“It’s contagious. I’ll burn down the hotel and we can build again.” Lucifer pulled his robe up over his shoulders and tightened it at the waist. “Even better, Come live with me! I have a whole palace.” A beaming smile that wilted when you  rejected him with just a furrow of your brow.

“Luci Love,” a nickname you only used when you were trying to keep him pliable, “Alastor’s going into a rut.”

An even deeper grimace, “I thought he’d be immune to that particular punishment.”

“Nope. This is hell.”

“Tell me about it.”

“I thought he’d react gentler with you, but it seems,” you weren’t sure how to say this, “You’ve become…in his subconscious…,” where did all the air go in the room? 

Lucifer slipped out of bed, “A burden?” He paced past the bed’s posts, “A third wheel.” He began to gather his pants, “Food!” When you laughed he tripped, “Excuse you.”

You let him spiral a second longer before blurring it out, “A doe!”

He paused, one pant leg on and one off. Little blue ducky patterned boxer briefs embarrassingly bright, “I beg your pardon? I’m The King of Hell.”

“Who regularly shares Alastor’s bed.”

He huffed, “Well…I-,”

“Who has Alastor’s scent all over him.”

A scoff, “Well, he-!”

“And who shares all his free time with Alastor.”

A gasp, “Well you-!”

You waited for him to finish. Luci was keen enough to pick up the sharpness of your glare. 

“I’m not even technically female. Angels don’t have a gender I just prefer-,” he motioned to his lap.

“You don’t have to do anything, Luci. I just wanted to let you know.”

As he stood there still half undressed, he considered the options. He’d never dealt with an animalistic sinner before going through a rut or heat. He tended to share his bed with the kinds of demons who were above such afflictions.

“So we can just… leave him be for a few days, yeah?” He kicked off the pants and crawled back onto the bed towards you. “He’ll just ruin some clothes and sheets and be back to normal by the end of the weekend.”

You’d only witnessed one rut before, and the idea of leaving Alastor alone to suffer when his body knew he had a lover was… unbearable. An unpaired mating season was uncomfortable and frustrating. But a paired sinner? The ache would be unimaginable, the normal pain accentuated with heartbreak and a specific longing no one else could subside. 

No, Alastor wouldn’t be alone. You just shook your head. “Luci Love.” Lucifer pouted, He’d be the one alone? Again, pushed out of the dynamic? Out of the line of sight? Before he could consider it, you patted the bed. “No worries! As soon as it’s passed I’ll text you.”

Alastor reentered the room, towel around his wee waist and hair dripping. His presence seemed to end the conversation, and the day went on as if nothing different had taken place. The only obvious proof Alastor was slipping into a rut was that continued zoning out now paired with a fevered blush across his cheeks. 

Well, one other unmistakably odd action. His arm had come behind Lucifer, resting on the back of the sofa. 

Luci tried to not bring any attention to it, but people still stopped and looked a little longer than usual. You’d have loved to help diffuse the tension rising in the common area but you were busy taking the longest, hottest epsom bath you could manage. 

Without you to take some attention off of him, Lucifer couldn’t stand the air rolling off Alastor. So he left. Loudly yawning and dramatically stretching at 3pm in the afternoon and hastily walking down the hall.

After pacing the corridors for an odd 30 minutes, he decided to make a cup of calming tea.

His skin jumped when two large clawed hands slipped onto the countertop as he was caged in. Luci stiffened, waiting for Alastor to say something. He’d never gotten so physically close to him in public spaces before. Well, outside of fighting.

Alastor didn’t speak, just took deep and long inhales and exhales. Luci watched the sharp nails cut into the countertop with ease as Alastor’s body swayed with his rising temperature. His arousal knocked into the shorter man’s back, making Luci fall into the counter.

“Why aren’t you secluded away, monopolizing her?” Lucifer’s jealousy was poorly hidden. Leaning forward, the taller demon pressed his erection purposely into the warmth of Luci’s body. 

“Our darling shared paramour is not of the same power as I. She can only handle receiving my knot once a day at most. Anymore is burden on her body. But, for The King of Hell…surely it wouldn’t be so difficult?”

A shiver rolled down Luci’s spine and left goosebumps in its wake. “You heard me earlier…,” a question without a question mark.

One of those hands left the counter and slipped around Luci’s neck before pulling at the bow tie and tossing it aside, “I hear everything.” A roll of his hips, “The way you breath in your sleep,” his hand dropped further, pushing underneath the collar of his shirt, “Your early morning romps while I shower,” a large palm that seemed to cover half Luci’s chest with ease, “The sighs of longing when I kiss her good morning and good night.”

His hand flexed before pressing in and clutching Lucifer into his body, “Will you deny me having both my bedmates?”

“Uhh, your highness?” Vaggie stood in the open doorway, “Are you guys okay?”

Alastor didn’t budge, forcing Luci to twist in his grasp and talk over his forearm.

“Heeeey Magpie! Yeah. Yup. Just making tea.”

“With Alastor’s arms around you?” She gestured unnecessarily.

“Mmhmm!” Luci grabbed the mug with both hands, “but now we’re done. And leaving.”

Alastor tentatively released Lucifer, but replaced the hardness at his back with his firm and guiding hand. 

Vaggie moved to the side to let the men walk past her. Alastor paused and let Luci decide. Left to his private and lonely apartment, right to their room. A brief moment of hesitation before Luci groaned, running his hand through his hair in disbelief as he turned right. “Bye Vaggie!”

“Bye, Sir.” She managed to say as she watched Alastor corral the fallen angel into the elevator.

The relief you felt when Lucifer entered the room was palpable. Alastor had come to the room, expressed his neediness, watched you say you were totally ready whenever he was (the exhaustion somehow already visible) and left the room with a simple, “I’m not.” 

Now he was back, a timid and wide eyed Lucifer holding a mug.

The sound of Alastor’s belt clinking made Luci suddenly shy. Why was he acting like it was his first night in your room?

Oh that’s right. 

Because it kind of was. He wasn’t just Lucifer anymore. Alastor saw him as his, in some capacity. And the fact he was ready and willing to let the sinner fully embrace the big buck joke was… embarrassing. What would the other sins say? Luci dicked down by a horny deer sinner?

Well… Lucifer had been fucked by Alastor on more than one occasion so perhaps that didn’t quite sum it up well. There was an added level of intimacy to what they were doing. An almost official acknowledgement of Lucifer’s place.

It made his tail swish behind him tellingly.

All eyes on him as he turned from Alastor to you. You watched the lord of your afterlife nervously fumble around in the armoire for his robe. He got undressed like he’d never done it before, trying to take his pants off before his shoes. You’d have laughed if you weren’t torn away to see Alastor’s eyes fall on you from the door. 

You enjoyed low lighting, something romantic in vibes but still well lit enough to see who was who. But Alastor forgo his usual lighting tricks and opted to keep the room flooded with the natural light of day.

You couldn’t remember the last time you had sex in the afternoon. Alastor’s appetite was largely impacted by the convenience of bed time, and Luci was rather busy during the day trying to impress Charlie with his willingness to not completely abandon his people.

Alastor had undone his pants and removed his coat and shirt, showing off your favorite parts of him; a soft and fluffy chest to bury your head and a happy trail leading down a flat but still noticeably toned stomach. His pants were open just enough so that you could see the bulging top of his underwear. 

“Sooo,” Luci sang, “Did it start? Is that why he dry humped me in the kitchen?”

Alastor hummed, palming at his leaking head through the damp fabric.

Your fingers slipped down the silk of your own dressing gown, mirroring Alastor.  “Not yet. We’re going to jump start it. Get it over with.” 

“The sooner, the better.” Alastor ground out, looking with disgust at the sticky clear precum on his palm.

So, Alastor had come to retrieve him, Luci thought. He wanted him there for himself. Sure he said it was to relieve you of your burden of taking his massive knot over and over. But that didn’t explain the erect cock he pressed into Luci, or how he responded when Luci woke him up. No, on a very deep and unchosen level, Alastor had accepted the angel.

Once naked, Luci stood awkwardly beside the bed waiting for further instructions. In truth, so were you. This would only go smoothly if you both let him take the absolute lead. A glance between the two of you before you both turned to stare at Alastor.

Fully nude now, staring back at you both like a starving beast. Luci abandoned his robe when he realized Alastor was going fully naked. 

Already Alastor felt the sharpness of his thoughts blunting with an animalistic need. Instincts were blanketing his frontal cortex, and he knew from experience it was best to not fight it. Everything would be done faster if he let go. 

“It has to be you first. The first one won’t be so bad, my dear.” His attention was fully on you, stalking up to the side of the bed and pulling at the belt of your robe. The needy sound he made when you were finally revealed to him pulled a sigh from Lucifer. Alastor’s eyes snapped up to meet Luci’s, smirk spread across his cheeks and his ears twitching atop his head. Luci looked away with a pout, remembering the kitchen conversation. Alastor’s hot hand across his chest, holding him so tightly with such ease. 

That wide smile turned to you. Wide like your legs, pushed apart as Alastor slotted himself where he belonged. You didn’t know what to ask for, but Alastor started immediately with kisses to your cheeks and neck. He loved it, finding it to have no connection whatsoever to sex. That made your reactions to his kisses so amusing. You got so worked up so easily when he kissed you, it was like a game. How quickly could he make you come undone with just his lips on your flesh?

His mouth was superheated, opening to pull your skin between his lips with every peck. When his tongue pressed into your skin a little groan rumbled his chest.

The sound of a soft thwacking pulled your attention from the lavished licks trailing down your neck and sternum. With just a glance from you Luci became aware of his tail enthusiastically wagging against the large walnut headboard. Sheepishly he grabbed it and pulled it to his center, mouthing an apology. 

Alastor side eyed him and patted the bed, instructing him to settle beside you. 

How rarely his kisses dripped into such salacious slurps and sucks, how uncommon for Alastor to seem to be arousing himself. 

Luci felt so out of place. You three often spent time together like this, but more than not it was you and him with Alastor to the side. What did Alastor normally do when he was busy pleasuring you?

Moving you as little as necessary, he lifted your shoulders and slid behind you. With your head resting on his lower stomach he could straighten out his legs and get comfortable. Alastor acknowledged Lucifer by stretching himself up and kissing him on the mouth. The action took the king by surprise,  it was even rarer for Alastor to kiss him. Luci moaned into the affection, earning a satisfied growl from the radio demon. 

Could he rut more often? Luci wondered as their lips pressed together. 

You watched from your place remembering the first time they surprised you with their teamwork.

Alastor kissed Luci again. And then another, harsher one. The third licking across the smaller man’s mouth. Luci parted his lips, deepening the kiss. Your body rocked as Alastor’s hips rolled into you, half hard cock growing stiffer with each return into the king’s mouth. Alastor moaned, his rutting becoming stronger and longer. 

You bit back your own sounds as his cock head caught on your entrance. Alastor broke the kiss and looked down at you for the go ahead. You were already wet, watching them make out was enough but the rubbing of your clit with his erection had you more than ready. He returned to lavishing Luci’s mouth, hips expertly angling back and pressing into you.

Despite your arousal, there was still a slight burn to the stretch of your walls around him. He didn’t ease in, instead pushing forward until he was sunk to the hilt. The pressure of his cock already pushing into your cervix made you moan loudly into the thin space between your face and Alastor’s lower chest.

The feeling of being in you and hearing you express how good that made you feel in turn made the deer sinner growl into Luci’s open mouth, and your monarch found it intoxicating. His head was swimming. An idea came to him that he tucked away for when it was his turn. A stunt he was sure would make Alastor growl and groan even louder for him. 

Alastor’s pace quickened, hips coming down against yours without concern for bruising. His mouth stayed locked on Lucifer’s lips, parting for the briefest of moments to pant heavily into the few centimeters between them. To let the man go any further from him was unimaginable and unacceptable. As if to convey that sentiment, Alastor’s hips began to press in and up, using the force to slowly fuck you up the bed, against Luci, until the latter’s head was pressed into the headboard. Trapped between Alastor’s hungry mouth and solid wood.

The few times your eyes could maintain focus, you caught Alastor looking down at you. A pause to stop and acknowledge the pleasure you were so freely giving him.

Passionate was not the typical word you’d use for Alastor’s approach to sex, but that was the only word to come to mind as you watched him bully his tongue past the already swollen lips of your other lover. 

Your nails clamored up Luci’s thighs and sunk into the skin near his hip bones. Every exhale came out high and shaky.

As you began to tighten around him, muscles clenching and twitching in response to the way his cock was ramming into your cervix, Alastor finally sat back on his haunches. His hand pressed against your womb and felt your skin move with every inward thrust. 

Everything was checking off boxes in his empty head; moaning mate, tight cunt, deep press, two does, clean sheets.

His hands came to your hips to raise you to the perfect angle. Knees widening, he lowered, exploratory thrusts slowed until he adjusted to just how he needed you. You didn’t know the question or the answer he had found, just felt how his wide cock prodded your g-spot. 

Alastor’s body was on autopilot, the heat of his fever reaching a pitch you could feel in your deepest spots.

When his knot was forced into you, it’s pulsing and constant pressure on your g-spot was so immense it set off an orgasm that had been building slowly until then. Unprepared, it took your body by surprise as your core drew in. 

Lucifer watched your legs fold up and shoulders lift off the bed. Your moans waned before roaring back into shrieks; wails so close to pained he panicked as you shook. You could feel Alastor twitching inside you, the heat of his release uncommonly high. It forced your focus momentarily to that flood of hot seed pooling at your cervix.

A new orgasm crashed through you before the last one’s waves had fully subsided, giving you no time to rest. When you tried to breathe and relax your muscles, you found your swollen cunt sinking further onto his knot. The only way to avoid overstimulation was to keep your stomach and thighs so tight you were ever so slightly pulled away from him.

“Fuck! Cramp!” Your left leg straightened, weakening your perfect pose. Trembling as you struggled to keep the hills of pleasure from becoming something rockier, Luci’s hands shot to your thigh. Firm thumbs tried to find the problem area, Alastor not minding or possibly even noticing Luci.

After some readjustment, you could settle and let the multiple orgasms end their streak. It took time for Alastor to finish, several more sudden and gushing rounds of his cum flooding you. His knot did its job, not letting a drop leave your hole as your lower belly extended slightly. When Alastor finally deflated, he pulled out and let you roll over onto your stomach. 

Your arms and legs were still racked with tremors, thighs promising to give out the second you stood. You didn’t get the chance to try though, as soon as you began to crawl on all fours to the edge of the bed a large clawed hand pressed firmly into your upper back and held you down. A hand significantly bigger than before. 

“Alastor!” Luci snarled as your face was sinking into the pillows. His eyes flashed his signature red at the now looming form of the radio demon. 

“It’s okay Luci. He just needs a second.” You mumbled, feeling Alastor’s free hand run down your sore and swollen entrance. Another moment of Alastor huffing and scenting the air filled the room before he released you. With a roll and a wobble, you rushed to the bathroom to keep the carpet from getting stained with what you could already feel gravity pulling out of you. 

Alastor fell face first into the bed. Luci could see the exhaustion settle on the sinner and let nails scratch down Alastor’s back. The deer demon hummed a stifled, “Thank you.” into the silk of the pillows.

Luci very rarely had time to linger on Alastor’s body. The two usually found themselves lost in pleasure and caught in the moment, never a chance to notice the details. He remembered Alastor commented on the sound of him sleeping, a sentiment so oddly sweet he felt compelled to do something sweet in return. He threw his leg over Alastor’s thighs and straddled him, both hands now running up and down his back. 

While already smaller than him, Luci could really appreciate how much Alastor had shifted into his more domineering size. His hands were so delicate looking against the scarred and tanned skin of his reluctant partner. 

As he reached forward to scratch along his shoulders, he didn’t notice how his soft cock was rubbing against the curve of Alastor’s ass. He might not have noticed if not for Alastor’s pleasured groans growing louder, followed quickly by the rapid flicking of his tail against Lucifer’s navel. 

“Feel good, big guy?” Luci leaned forward now with purposeful teasing. Alastor bucked back into Luci’s lap, causing his monarch to feel unsteady nd grip his shoulders for security. “I don’t normally do this, but I’m feeling generous today.” 

Alastor’s eyes were closed but still the glow Luci’s golden magic reached past his eyelids. He didn’t register anything had changed for that first second. But then, one by one, the clues roused him.

The little prick against his cheeks was absent. 

Something wet was pressing into his thighs.

A sweet and dizzying scent he didn’t know but his brain recognized as good was reaching his nose.

He shot up so quickly Luci fell onto his back with a shout. Alastor felt his vision blur as he tried to focus on the image before him. 

Two large, forward turned doe ears atop Luci’s head and a glistening, wet pussy between his milky thighs.

“Surprise!” Luci said proudly, getting onto his stomach to show off his small blonde tail. He knew it would drive Alastor wild but he failed to understand exactly what that meant for a deer demon in rut.

Luci’s eyes rolled back, Alastor’s mouth cupping his newly magicked sex and tongue lapping from clit to hole. It was working far better than he had hoped.

Hips rising up to meet the hungry tongue, Luci regretted not trying this sooner. Everything was so slick. Alastor’s nose nuzzled his flesh with every move between his folds before diving into Luci’s own heat. The growl the sinner made as he fucked Luci with his tongue sent shivers through the king’s body. This was the best praise he’d ever received from Alastor, by far. 

The sensations were foreign, his memory of using such a form too outdated to provide him any reference. Soft walls prodded by the strong, long tongue. Luci’s thighs slid open wider and wider to allow more access.

Alastor’s hips ground down into the bed, leaking cock smearing into the blankets as he sought friction. His brain told him to breed but his body didn’t want to part from Luci’s cunt for a second. But when his newly minted mate moaned so loudly, so unashamedly signaled how good Alastor was making him feel, he found the strength.

Luci’s hand flew back to slow Alastor’s entrance, “It’s new anatomy, Alastor. You can’t just go in with one thrust like with Kitten.” He raised his hips, drawing his knees in and gripping the blankets, “Ease in.”

Nothing Luci said really penetrated Alastor’s skull. His vision was pretty pink and sopping wet. But he did try, to be fair. At the first press Alastor had to break the skin of his bottom lip with his teeth to regain some mental clarity. Distantly he heard his king’s sharp gasps and he could feel the way Luci’s hips jumped away before slowly pushing back to regain the length lost. He found Luci nearly too tight, too hot, too soft. A very real fear he would entirely lose his mind tried to sink into his stomach but got burned away in his chest. 

“Good boy.”

He couldn’t be sure who said it. But his hips began thrusting in response, shallow but fast. Every return allowed him to stake new territory in his Doe King.

Luci couldn’t think straight either, the pain was enough to make him shake yet added an excitement he hadn’t expected. It wasn’t pain for nothing. It was the ache of his body stretching apart to accept Alastor. It was the sting of being molded to his lover. The growl Alastor let out when he could finally fit all of himself in made the smaller man’s toes curl.

He clicked back into his body from the sensation of your fingers carding through his disheveled hair. 

“Looks like you’re taking him well, your majesty.” You cooed, sliding down onto your belly and resting your head on your arm. He saw the way your eyes examined the angle at which Alastor was hitting. Your hands gripped his ears gently, watching his tail swish side to side.

“Doe.” Luci ground out, neck craning back, “I thought he’d like it.”

Alastor reached over and let his hand feel the impact of his cock through Luci’s lower stomach. Coming down, he let two large palms rest on either side of Luci’s ears. If the position didn’t warn him, a beginning move for Alastor’s mating press, the bulging knot threatening his hole did.

“I don’t wanna,” Luci stopped to moan, body rocking back to meet the already dead end thrusts, “—this position when he knots.” 

It took some coordination, and Alastor didn’t particularly like the idea, but he relented. He took Luci by the waist and fell backward onto the bed. 

Alastor whined when the warmth of Lucifer’s cunt left him, but you were treated to the most salacious moans as Luci sunk back down onto the bright red organ.

Finding a pace that satisfied him was easy, as Alastor had swelled large enough to bully every inch of Lucifer’s newly broken-in pussy. 

Watching his doe eared lover ride him so vigorously made Alastor’s chest heave and swell with pride. 

“He wants you so badly,” you smile as you slid into the bed beside Alastor, resting your head on his shoulder. 

“Funny,” a snicker before letting his hips fuck up into Luci and knocking him off balance, “He seemed insulted to be called a doe earlier.”

Luci flashed a middle finger before resting both hands in Alastor’s raised knees for support. 

Alastor turned his head to you, whispering how perfect you were for him, how you gave him more than he deserved. You let your eyes close to the sound of his voice so low and gravelly. His words warmed your heart and your lap with efficiency you had to admire.

Jumbled and rather embarrassing thoughts flooded the radio demon's mind far worse than the ones he said out loud to you. He felt he fully succeeded in bringing the devil under him (metaphorically). But the animal pieces of himself he was made to endure went silly and slack, what a feisty mate. My prodigy could have no better than the devil himself. Good doe. Mine. 

You opened your eyes again and watched the knot swell to a point you’d consider scary. Alastor sensed it somehow too, despite the static bouncing around his skull in lieu of rational consciousness, and turned his attention away from you.

He wrapped a hand around Luci’s neck and drew him down to his face, his mouth to the king’s ear. “When you cum, I will make you take my knot. And then your tight little hole will clamp down and milk me dry. Are you ready, your majesty? To take everything I will give?”

Luci clenched around Alastor and bit back the ever present urge to argue. He nodded and let himself be fucked. He felt so small and safe in the embrace of the transformed sinner. One hand could palm his skull with ease and it made him shiver at the thought. How rarely he let himself be physically manipulated. Alastor always made the circumstance so rewarding it was impossible to turn down.

Stomach tightening, he tried to remember how it felt to have a vaginal orgasm. Tried to recall how he reacted. For some reason as you reminded him to take deep breaths, he stumbled over his peak.

When he felt Luci spasming around his cock Alastor bit back his moan to finally push the rest of himself in. It was borderline cruel to wait for that moment, when he knew Lucifer would be the tightest and least pliable but the feeling of such soft flesh rolling over his knot made him slip out of his mind entirely. His knot was pulled in, his darling doe’s cunt felt like it was sucking him deeper with every twitch.

Luci pushed himself up, muscles screaming to move as he shook from the full body euphoria of being stretched and stuffed so intensely.

The looseness of his waning orgasm radiated out from his core. Without intention, Luci’s wings expanded as the relaxation made it to his shoulders. In a flurry of feathers and low growls Lucifer’s wings were seized in cutting claws and dragged down. Instinctively he pulled back, horns out for the second time that day as he glared down at Alastor, arm cocked back to strike at the insolent demon. But Alastor’s smile was entirely absent, brows knit together in a confusing display of angry panic that brought a pause to Luci’s fist. 

Quickly, you sat up and set a soft hand on his chest, “Heeey baby, it’s okay. Luci isn’t going anywhere.” Slowly, setting the pace for where you wanted his breathing to come down to, your fingers raked through his chest fluff. “He was just showing his buck how good he makes him feel. Loosen your hands, Alastor. I promise your pretty doe won’t fly away. Right, Luci?”

A pleading gaze from you to please be patient with the afflicted deer. A stiff nod from the king.

Luci watched as a flicker of embarrassment fell over Alastor’s face, ears pressing back and down to his skull, and his fists around the wings opened. 

When Alastor’s black and red eyes locked on Luci’s red and yellow, the king blinked away the warning display and brought his head down. Cautiously, refusing to withdraw his horns completely yet but letting his wings dissipate, he bared his neck to the mess of a man beneath him. He felt the sigh before he heard it, Alastor’s hands returning to Luci’s body with a much calmer touch as he pulled the offered flesh into his mouth.

That intoxicating scent returned, making Alastor’s mouth flood with saliva. Lucifer let his body go slack back into Alastor’s embrace as his neck was nipped and sucked. He wanted to warn against marks, knowing he couldn’t lie if Charlie asked about them. But a little flame of pride lit him up in a not dissimilar way to Alastor earlier. 

He hid his smile in the fluffy expanse beneath him, sighing as he felt a second release of Alastor’s cum fill him even further. He didn’t want Luci to go. He wanted him there, so much so he manhandled the devil to try and keep him close. How deeply satisfying it felt to be wanted. He’d surely tease Alastor later for it, but in that moment he felt full of honey and wine. Sweet and dizzy. 

You relaxed again, letting Alastor’s arm come around you and tuck you against his side. 

A blanket of trophies, two lovers of worth he couldn’t articulate surrounding him. Luci squeaked as Alastor twitched inside him with primal satisfaction.  ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

When you all awoke some hours later from what you could only call a cock drunk bliss nap, there was little time to consider other needs like food and water.

Alastor felt frustrated at being able to fuck just one of you at once. He was visibly annoyed, ears twitching and tail pressed down over his ass. Luci, ever the clever if not poorly thought out angel, pulled your body onto his. Your back against his chest, his chin against your ear.

Luci wiggled his hips which made your own body move too.

“Shouldn’t you be grateful for two holes to fill, Alastor? I didn’t take you for greedy.”

“It’s a matter of pride.” Alastor shot back. Your legs fell to either side of Lucifer’s as his thighs spread. 

His furrowed brow melted and rose as he returned to the warmth of Luci’s body. He watched your form bounce and jiggle with every thrust, a softness that made him swallow back the drool threatening to spill from his mouth.

Perhaps it was the rut, but he took far too long to realize he had a remedy to his problem.

The room darkened, the red of the day now a peerless black. You felt something small and thin press at your entrance gently before sinking in. Widening the further it went, you smiled through your moan as you realized Alastor had let loose his shadow arms.

Black and writhing tentacles of darkness that wrapped around Luci’s thighs and slid around your waist. A physical manifestation of his needs.

Finally, he could hear you both gasping beneath him. You watched through lusty tear filled eyes as Alastor’s form twitched and grew between your sets of thighs. 

Antlers threatening to knock against the posts of your shared canopy bed as he sighed at the thought of breeding both of his mates.

Sooner than either of you had anticipated, Alastor leaned forward and lifted Luci’s body to allow him to drive his cock as deeply as it could go. 

You felt Luci stiffen beneath you, his arms holding onto your scrambling as Alastor fucked his still inflating knot in and out of him.

Luci’s panting and pleasured cries into your neck was doing so much for you. Eyes closed, feeling that wet tentacle pumping out of you faster and faster and imagining how wide Luci was being forced apart on Alastor’s knot brought you to your second orgasm of the day. Alastor could smell your pleasure, your sweat and your slick flooding his senses as Luci’s fluttering hole numbed his mind to anything but the two of you.

The sound of slapping skin slowed as Alastor came with a growl into the headboard. He moved until his knot was stuck, letting himself moan out mumbled praises for you both as he flooded Luci’s womb. 

The discomfort set in so quickly after the pleasure faded. Alastor’s cock tender and chaffed, Luci’s pussy sore and swollen, and your body and mind spent from the stress and pleasure of managing to keep both men civil and happy.

A bath sounded so good at that moment, but you knew Lucifer was attached to Alastor for a little while and that Alastor wouldn’t allow you to leave the bed yet. 

He sat back on his haunches again, lowering his hips to let Luci’s body relax into the bed.

Alastor’s hands petted at your legs, his signature smile snaking across his face again. 

Feeling your weight on him was as close to divine as he hoped to get again, and Luci was glad to be trapped around Alastor’s dick still. He held you tighter to him and nuzzled your neck. A a cozy feeling of being seen in the same look as you and not just as a background character to Alastor washed over him.

A perfect way to begin your long night and the even longer weekend ahead.

“Ah!” Luci piped up, “My tea.”

⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆Masterlist.ೃ࿔*:･

˖ ݁𖥔.Summoning the Horny Little Deer Cult.𖥔 ݁ ˖

@eris-norwega @reath-solia @catticora , @angelicribbons , @xalygatorx

@cxrsedwxrlds , @nonetheartist , @tsunaki , @janchei , @moonmark98

, @readergirlstuff , @berry-demon , @chirimeimei , @fairyv-ice , @olive-frog

@thonethatflies620 , @tiredkiwiii , @ilikemyteawithmilk , @whateverlololo , @psipies

@howabouticallyou , @roxxie-wolf , @fizzled-phoenix , @star-kujo-platinum

, @a-case-of-attachment , @multifandomfanatic02 @watereddownmilk , @bontensbabygirl @smoky000

@hoebihoeshi , @pansexual-opera-house , @polytheatrix , @lorddiabigmommymilkers , @backinthefkingbuildingagain

@harley2223-blog , @poinappel , @midnightnoiserose , @spookieroz , @missmidorima ,

@ivebeenthearchersstuff , @downbadforfictionalppl , @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx , @sleepylittledemon , @aether-th3-enby

@dontfuckbutimfab @breathlessaura , @aperfectidiot , @certainlygay , @jth12

[myunghology]

[ ✦ ] . . . GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY. riddle rosehearts x reader smau.

profiles. RIZZLERS (impolite) : meepcity edaters : m.list

[NAME] 'my kink is when people say im right' BAUDELAiRE. surprisingly the voice of reason when she's the main character? always goes against the friend groups ideas. loves debating and proving people wrong.. who doesn't love proving people wrong tho

ACE 'ball-grabber 🏀' TRAPPOLA. stupidest fucker ever emotionally. smartest physically when beating up his friends ong.. "[name] can i borrow notes from your first year". real talks everyone with no shame at all

EPEL 'bro ill tickle your pickle' FELMiER. here comes the alpha the sigma the skibidi toilet. (he's 5'1 and suffering). protects his friends with his life and is not afraid to kick ass🔥🥶

FLOYD 'he looks like a homo habilis' LEECH. real talker number 2, over protective when it comes to [name]. he totally doesn't try to crush her limbs whenever he sees her wdym.. ends up bullying her in the end before she loses it

LiLiA 'r u on opium?' VANROUGE. half of the friend group is convinced he's high most of the time. OLDIE LMFAOOO GET OUT why is your ashy ass still in high school bruh. passive aggressive when protective (REAL)

TAGLIST, opened! send in an ask to be added because i won't be accepting comments. if your name isn't highlighted, it means i cannot tag you. please notify me if you've change your user. 🏷

[newkatzkafe2023]

Can you imagine the monkey King's wife being exactly like chi chi from dragon ball 😂.

A monkey version of her

They are very scared of her, and she's the only person the monkey King is intimidated by.

I blame the Lego monkie kid voice actor 😅

OH MY GOD!!! THAT IS BOTH AMAZING AND TERRIFYING I LOVE IT!!!!!!🤩🤩🤩🤩

That's the weapon you have Below👇👇👇

(Lmk Wukong) Ohhhhhhhhhh he pisses you off every second of everything day, and it's scares him hell even Macaque is scared of you. It's bad enough that he tends to be irresponsible and Take everything even more difficult with his poor communication skills. Then if it were to cause problems for poor Mk, then that's where you draw the line, and with every life threatening event that is centered around your husband and son. Well both Mk and Wukong Would be actively running from you by the end of it🤣

(MKR Wukong) Man he would take the monk's anger over your anger any time That's how scared he is of you. You know his sh*tty attitude and personality and his habit of having bouts of violence but you. Oh no he would do whatever it takes to stay away from that territory of upsetting you, but if it happens anyway he would get his act together immediately. The pilgrims always gets baffled by his submission and Fruity would say that mama is scary.

(HIB Wukong) Well now at least he knows the Do's and don't's parts of your marriage, considering the results and Consequences. But unfortunately he has to come back home to you after 500 years and he'll have to make up an explanation for his absence. Even worse when you told him time and time again not to go and attack heaven On the count of that is not the best idea to handle the war. Wukong had stupidly disregarded your words and now he has to come home to you, he was right to be worried because you tore him a new one because he Deliberately Disregarded your objections as your environment shook and crack from your yells. the only reason you stop was because he came home with a little boy and baby girl.

(NR Wukong) Li and Su had dumbfounded looks on both of their faces. In the living room was Wukong cowering behind the couch as a female monkey also with a metal mask was screaming profanities at him. The was the day they met you Y/n L/N Wukong his wife, but boi were you quite Intimidating to them. Thankfully they quickly learn how sweet and kind you actually are and the two even fell in love with your godly cooking. You quickly explained that Wukong had fail to tell you that Nezha was recarnated as you stuff Li with food because That's where you always did 3000 years ago.

(Netflix Wukong) Man you used were so little, quiet and cute🥰 when you a cub now your tall, loud, and scary😨 and married to him. You are the more responsible and grounded of the marriage but his reckless behavior makes you both worried and angry. You usually wack him with stick because of his condescending attitude and he should know not to talk to you like that. Then the last straw was when he got to his head in his kaiju form and Lin had to get you and well.....you can imagine how shocking it is to see a giant male monkey to wimper as a tiny female monkey yells at him.🤭🤭🤭

(BMW Wukong) GOLLY!!! you were always the wrong one to mess with 😰. For him pissing off heaven will always be less terrifying than pissing you off😬. Especially when your as powerful as he is, and would have that large club bat you dubbed as Excaliborg That you would occasionally beat his ass with. Unlike Erlang whom he's more then happy to taunt and mess with he knows better then to do the same to you unless he wants to be an must be classified smeer on the ground😬🥶.

(Destined one) He wouldn't get on your nerves in the slightest, mainly because that's a terrible idea but he's a sweet mildly Obedient man to you. You get worried about him alot because he's so selectively mute, so you made sure to engage him in conversations. The one thing you do love is how much he loves your cooking 🍳 and you are more then happy to make large batches for him to eat. He's a good Quiet husband to you and that's good enough for you.

FEEL FREE TO REBLOG😈🍳

[sevikaskittygf]

ellie williams with a black gf!

A/N - my two requests are almost done chat i promise but i rly wanted to make something like this!!!!!

content warnings - JUST FLUFF!!!!

THESE ARE MY MODERN!ELS HEADCANNONS!

---------------‐----------------------------------------------------

- will ALWAYS compliment u after u get ur hair done. "your new braids look so good, baby." EHEHEHEEHE AAAAAAGHHGH (*screeches through the phone*)

- will learn how to take them out for you just so you don't have to do it all the time by yourself:

"make sure you're not cutting my real h-"

"shh, shut up! i know what i'm doing 🤬 !" <3

- will figure out how to tolerate your nails. always pays for them. ALWAYS tells you how pretty they look. (sry guys my praise kink wants to be set free from the shackles they're currently in.)

- although she definitely always wants to protect you and make sure you're safe at all times she isn't afraid of letting you stand your own ground. but whenever things get too out of hand or it seems to be heading that way, she'll be shutting SHIT down.

- your parents/guardian/parent figures love her. I DON'T CARE. this woman WILL be getting invited to the family reunions!

- ellie williams has zero tolerance for racists. if you guys are out at a store in a predominantly white area and it even SEEMS to her that the workers are racially profiling. lingering stares, periodic walks passing where you are, etc etc we know how racial profiling works. she's getting your ass out of there and making sure that her numerous email accounts are used for giving them multiple 1 star reviews that night.

- ellie williams has been indoctrinated into the cult of hotties. she hears megan's piano once while u were getting ready and now she can't get enough of her music.

BONUS ROUND: MOODBOARD🥶🥶

[enj4s]

─── ˚𝜗𝜚. ⋆ VULNERABLE VICES♡! ᡣ𐭩 .

─── ˚୨୧⋆ ABOUT♥︎; Wingman Laito gets Reiji drunk and you take care of him.

── SLIGHT WARNINGS(??); bit of swearing. mention of Reiji poisoning u previously (typical). nonchalant you 🥶. you and Reiji are lovers but shit is 2 complicated it's not even mentioned or there, but the love is in the air ig

─── ˚୨୧⋆ PAIRING; Reiji Sakamaki from diabolik lovers.

♡ Author note : "Get right into it" 😭 helpp im sorry sjsjjsbn i caught a nasty ass cold and was out in the covers for some days, I hope u like it ♡!!!

As the Sakamaki brothers and you gather around the long table for the usual meal routine, you find yourself growing used and accustomed to the strict schedule. The enforced etiquette lessons from Reiji you've endured have imprinted a sense of discipline upon you, though the monotony often leaves your mouth yawning during the sessions. A snicker leaves your mouth suddenly, your head flashing you with the most unnecessary picture of Reiji's bewildered face, he looked like he was loosing his shit back when you first arrived at the mansion and gobbled everything you could reach with the same fork. It was a crime to him.

"Ne, aren't you bothered?" Laito suddenly calls from beside you, cutting the silence in the large dining room. His green eyes fixated on your every move.

"Why would I be?" You asked calmly as you popped a cherry tomato into your mouth with an indifferent expression, Reiji's orders of not talking with a full mouth thrown out the window. If you were honest, you've never saw the brothers themselves follow Reiji's strict orders.

Ayato was out there, across the table, sitting with his legs propped on the table, completely disregarding the table etiquette that Reiji had emphasized time and time again.

Laito leaned in, his sultry tone drawing your attention as he continued, "Well, you know, Reiji never compliments, clings, or shows you any affection, is that not bothering you even a tiny bit?"

Ayato chimed in from across the table, his legs still casually propped up on the surface, "Yeah, come to think of it, Reiji's never said a single nice thing to you. Aren't you annoyed by that?"

You met their words with a nonchalant shrug, your expression indifferent. "I could care less," you replied. "I'm not one for affection anyway."

"..Ehh. Boring.." The red head sighed, feigning a frown, he hummed out loud as he thought for a while, before he perked up. "Ah! I've got an idea~" He sang. You held back the urge to shoot the idea down instantly. Whatever came out of his mouth any day, only promised an upcoming disaster.

You tilt your head, giving him a chance. Hoping you won't regret the simple act. "What?"

Laito gave you an, "You'll see," that promised no good, a sly grin spreading across his face as he skipped across the table poured something into Reiji's cup, and sat back beside you all innocently. Your eyes shot wide with alarm, and you couldn't help but glance back and forth between Laito and Reiji's cup. What The Hell!?

Reiji walked back in the room to place what's left of food in the tray, then sat down in his usual spot with his usual grace, seemingly unaware of Laito's meddling. If you were honest, you were mostly scared of getting dragged into Laito's antics rather than Reiji's health. Vampires had strong systems, anyway.

Your heart leapt to your throat when you saw Reiji dig in, soon he'd drink.. your hand flew to pinch Laito's side. "What's in that?!" you whispered, your hushed tone betraying your growing anxiety, your voice barely audible in your attempt to avoid drawing attention.

Laito barely flinched as you pinched his side, keeping up his carefree demeanor and feigning innocence. "Oh, nothing special~ Just some alcohol, to spice things up a bit," He replied with a mischievous grin, he gave you a lazy wink.

"You'll thank me later."

You could feel your body tensing with anxiety, struggling to maintain a stoic facade while Reiji continued eating, seemingly oblivious to your inner turmoil.

Ayato continued to eat undisturbed, seemingly unconcerned about the anything happening. Laito, likewise, showed no signs of anxiety or worry, his nonchalance only fueling the tension building inside you. You fought to maintain a calm exterior, fearing that Reiji would suspect you if anything went awry.

As dinner concluded, you decided to take the initiative and help with the dishes, distancing yourself from Laito incase Reiji got poisoned or something. You gathered the empty dishes and headed towards the kitchen with said second eldest, catching a hint of surprise in his gaze. The sound of running water filled the air as you began washing the dishes, the atmosphere slightly tense, yet you both worked silently side by side.

CRAASH!

Your heart leaped in your chest as a sudden sound of a broken dish startled you out of your skin. Your earlier anxiety resurfaced, and your skin paled, knowing how much tableware meant to Reiji. A sudden wave of worry washed over you, making you wonder if you were responsible for the broken dish. But as you looked down, you realized that nothing was beneath you.

Reiji's usual precision and attention to detail were second to none, so the thought of him being careless enough to break a dish was nearly unimaginable.

Your stomach twisted into knots as you glanced up, your body going cold. You had hoped to escape Laito's influence, but now you found yourself smack dab in the middle of the situation he had instigated. Your eyes widened as Reiji clutched the sink, his pale cheeks now reddened, betraying his state. He seemed to be swaying a bit too..

It seemed that whatever Laito had poured into Reiji's cup was taking effect. He said...just alcohol, right..? That much relieved you a bit. And it actually seemed like it.

".. Reiji-san.. are you okay?" You hesitantly ask the stupid question, not knowing what else to ask.

Reiji's magenta orbs seemed hazy as he glanced down at you.

"I..I'm fine," He managed to utter through gritted teeth, though the obvious flush on his cheeks betrayed his words. It was clear that something was not right, but he tried to brush it off, seemingly stubborn in not admitting his discomfort.

You froze, suddenly remembering something Laito had said a while ago. Reiji couldn't handle a single. drop. of alcohol.

Great.

You end up successfully leading Reiji back to your room after much swaying, rocking and stubbornness. As you turn to leave his bedroom, deciding to respect and give him some privacy, a gloved hand grasps your wrist, you glance down at him. "Reiji-san, I need to go clean up the mess in the kitchen, I'll be here if you need somethi—"

"Stay."

Your eyes widen. "What?"

"I said stay," He repeated, more firmly. Too drunk off his ass that his ego left him as well, if not, you'd probably never catch him in this position.

You sigh, settling onto the chair beside his bed, watching him with a mix of fascination and concern as the effects of the alcohol continued to take their toll on his normally restrained and collected self.

Your heart squeezed.

You had ever witnessed this before. As he lay on the bed, weary and drunk off his ass, his pale, porcelain-like cheek squished against the sheets, his eyes half-lidded and hazy, he looked almost adorable. If you didn't remember that his acts and that he poisoned you over three times. His glasses pushed up against his face, causing a slight discomfort.

You reached out to carefully remove his glasses, and his hand shot out, his fingers wrapping around your wrist, locking it in a surprisingly tight grip. You flinched slightly at the unexpected contact, anticipating a protest or resistance. But instead, he nuzzled his cheek against your hand, seemingly in need of physical touch.

You froze. Laito's words flashing back, "You'll thank me later," As much as you hated to admit that once you are indeed thankful..God.. Reiji looked too fucking cute.

You reach a hesitant hand, resting it on his hand, gently tousling and rubbing his purple locks.

Reiji seemed to almost instantly melt into your touch as you reached out to gently rub his head. His usual rigid demeanor softened, and his taut muscles relaxed slightly. He let out a low, satisfied sound in the back of his throat, his grip on your wrist loosening a bit as he leaned into your touch.

He was completely relaxed under your touch after a few strokes, but he seemed to crave more physical contact. He shifted a bit, gently tugging at your arm, a hint of neediness in his actions.

"Come here," he mumbled, his voice slightly slurred but firm. He attempted to pull her closer, his intention clear - he wanted cuddles.

He soon pulled you closer, his movements a mix of clumsiness and neediness. He wrapped his arms around your waist, his grip tight, as he drew your body against his. He pressed his face into the crook of your neck, nuzzling his flushed cheek against her skin, seeking comfort and closeness. Reiji's eyelashes bat against your neck ticklishly, his breathing gradually slowed, signalling that he was slowly falling asleep. His grip loosened and his body relaxed, his face still buried in the crook of her neck.

[anonymouscheeses]

Emily redesign drop!

SHES SO FREAKING ADORABLE RAH! So! You can obviously see the changes but I'll point them out anyways. I gave her sheep features because.... GOD'S LAMB! it's a bit on the nose BUT I think it was a good idea because she looks freaking adorable as a sheep?? Also theres a deeper meaning to the cross in the heart on her chest! Its a religious meaning which i think is a nice touch due to the love and care of Emily :> I gave her melanin, because what the heck. And her hair is extremly curly! I wanted it to look more like a cloud because her angel form is well.... BALD.

Not bald in my version thankfully. I had no idea what to do with the freckles so I jst gave her lines. And uhh. CLOUD HAIR! yeah it works pretty much almost exactly like an actual cloud but.. hair. She has eyes everywhere because ykno. Biblically accurate angels have alot of those 😭 gave her bird features! Because I'm self fanservicing. Furries rise 🗣🔥

I'll probably change angel form some day to be more... angelic? Cuz idk I feel like I could do more.

Expression sheet below cut! Vvvv

Shes so adorable guys look at her gay ass shes so ugly and cute shes so fugly it makes me wanna just 🥶🥶

Also my headcanon is that she's pansexual, mostly because i think she does not care in the slightest about someone's gender, but also because the colors look so good with her idk man 😭😭

Stop the Sera hate shes just a scrunkly little guy (she's horrible in my rewrite au... but it kinda makes you symphathize with her at times.) 👹👹

Oh yeah and uh, im working on that chaggie animatic, i just need alotta time + im lazy + i have alot of projects going on because im a workaholic for the wrong things lmao

[berylcups]

La Squadra & you go to Costco

CW: suggestive content, condoms, pregnancy tests, nipples, alcohol,

Notes: Going to Costco is always a bizarre adventure. And I was thinking while shopping… it would be nice to have a strapping young man to help me out so I made this crack 😅 I’m not endorsing Costco in anyway- this is just my way of coping with the stress of buying bulk and dealing with the public! Well this was obviously a quick little post but I hope you enjoy it as much as I did making it! 💜 Beryl

Risotto

Really didn’t want to come, he hates being in public and having people stare at him 👀

Has made a few kids cry just by existing 😭 he won’t admit it but it does hurt his feelings 🥺

Buuuuuut it is nice for people to clear the isles out of pure intimidation 👀 just give them dirty looks in exchange for treating your man that way

Will pick up all the extra heavy and unwieldy stuff

He’s uncomfy in the frozen section… everyone is looking at his hard nips 🥶 yes he’s still wearing his typical “clothes”

Maybe buy him a couple of shirts from the clothing section???

He’s going to ask for energy drinks or coffee. The drinks and coffee section is his favorite section. 🖤 after dealing with the public he deserves all the caffeination

Formaggio

He’s gonna wanna Costco glizzy from the food court to see what all the fuss is about

He rates it a 6.5/10 not bad! But he says his “Italian sausage” is better 😘

FORMAGGIO DONT SAY THAT—WE ARE IN PUBLIC—THINK OF THE CHILDREN 😳

Of course his favorite section is the cheese section. Be sure to get an assortment of cheeses 🧀

He’s going to shrink everything he wants and pockets it -mostly the snack food and cookies

You find it very suspicious that he doesn’t ask for anything until you guys get home and he unshrinks EVERYTHING HE STOLE

All the frozen stuff melted though… he didn’t think that through- keeping miniaturized ice cream and frozen pizzas in a warm pants pocket 🫠

Illuso

Why does he have to go? Can’t you do it? 🙄

Drag him by the pigtails in the damn store to help you pick up all the bulk items!

He’s going to complain about the lack of diversity of brands…Kirkland??? Ew! Name brands only Y/N!

Please put him in his place 🙏

He shuts up when he sees the shampoo/toiletries section

You bet your ass he’s going to steal all of that.

Despite his brattiness, he’ll make sure everyone moves out of your way when you push the cart

“ excuse you- coming through! Out of our way please.”

Very kareny about it—you’re both going to get some dirty looks but it gets the job done!

Pesci

He’s more than happy to help you shop!

He has an eye for quality when you’re in the meat section

He can tell you how fresh that fish is and if you’re better off getting it frozen

Please honor his request and buy him some milk 🥺 hell buy him 2! He’s being so helpful!

He’s good at picking up all the heavy stuff.

He even insists on pushing the cart/buggy. What a sweetheart 😇

You need to give him that confidence boost to help him push his way through the isles. Everyone is in the way— show them you mean business and you aren’t a mammoni and are here to get your shopping done TODAY

Prosciutto

Sigh why am I coming with you? You know the dynamics: I give you the money—and then you go out and spend said money. I shouldn’t have to be involved in this!

His attitude changes once he gets to the alcohol section. 😅

He just wants to give you his card and let you fill up the cart till your heart's content

He’s going to lounge about in the furniture section and just chill out.

Your gonna have to play where’s Waldo with him because he’s will purposely age himself to hide from grocery shopping 😂

It only worked the first few times. You already have it burned in your memory what a geriatric Prosciutto looks like.

He’s always dozed off in one of the recliners there with a small group of concerned people surrounding him wondering if he’s still alive. ☠️

Now time to drag his old ass to the produce section and help you find some good looking fruits and vegetables!

Melone

You want me to go shopping with you??? Di molto! I’d love to! We will…have to use your mode of transportation of course.

He’s not strong but with the both of you, you can carry the extra heavy items from the cart to the car.

6 pack pregnancy tests?! DI MOLTO! Bulk condoms??? Di molto!!!

Somebody come get this man he’s scaring the customers with his excited yelling 😬

Keep him on a tight leash—he’s looking for surrogates when we’re supposed to be looking for the everything bagel seasoning 👀

No seriously- put him on one of those child leashes. He should NOT be unsupervised with the public.

If he’s being good let him pick out some ready made meals- ramen , Mac and cheese, frozen goodies like hot pockets etc.

Ghiaccio

Why the fuck do I gotta go to Costco with you? Nothings gonna fit in my goddamn trunk. Have you seen my car??? 🚘

The place is too big and overstimulating to him…but he calms down once he sees the electronics section. 😌

He’s going to compare the specs of each TV… he might even get a gaming console too. Don’t worry he’s paying for it 👍

Do you really need a 25 lb bag of rice? I get that its versatile and you eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and sometimes even dessert—but that’s ridiculously a large ass bag. What if you get tired of it? You don’t ? Well…ok then.

Someone tell this guy about the miracle of chili peppers and air tight containers…😅 (pro tip: my Chinese teacher says airtight containers and a few dried chilli peppers keeps your rice fresh and critter-free!)

He questions why someone would need an excessive amount of certain products…but be patient with this baby and give him the million reasons why it’s perfectly acceptable to buy a 5 pound bag of shredded cheese.

He loves the spicy Korean ramen -he’ll make that fit in his trunk 😂

He also really likes the produce section but worries that the both of them aren’t going to consume the fruits/veg in time before they expire

[footballlover8]

Ibiza//Insta Au || Pablo Gavi

@Y/n.González

Liked by Pedri, Mikkykiemeney, pablogavi, Vanessa_vasquez and 362.628 others

Y/n.González: I know y’all are just here for Pablo, so here’s a little pic of him in the end🫶🏼 @pablogavi

Tap too View comments…

Vanessa_vasquez: Fuck Gavi, I want you babe😻

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Pablogavi:Back tf up, she’s mine🫸

Pedri:My boyfriend looking extra handsome in that shirt 😍😩

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Y/n.González: Bruh, now you can back tf up😀

Pablogavi:mi amor😍

Pablogavi:Who let you look this pretty?😍❤️

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Pedri: Me, I did. She has my genes, so thank me 😘

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Y/n.González: Eyo, get tf outta here😬

Taia.belloli: Tan hermosa😻😘

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Y/n.González: Te quiero mucho❤️

Fan6:Marry me please??😍

Fan77:She's not really lying, I'm only here for Gavi

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Fan54:Bruh Then get tf outta here and get on his page instead, tf?

Mikkykiemeney:mi Bonita major amiga😻❤️

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Y/n.González: Mi Bebe😘❤️

Gavilover6:Gavi be looking extra good in that pice

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Not.Y/n:Of course you would say that, he could be puking his guts out and you'd say he'd look good.

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@Pablogavi

Liked by raphinia, Y/n.González, julian_araujo, Pedri and 875.826 others

Pablogavi:Mi Princesa😍❤️ @Y/n.González

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Jkeey4:Mom and dad👩‍👩‍👦

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Y/n.González: JULES THATS TO GIRLS

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Jkeey4:my bad 👨‍👩‍👦****

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Pablogavi: Whatthe fuck...

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Fan66: Jules is on drugs

Mikkykiemeney:Sweetest girl on earth!🥰Protect her like your life depends on it Pablo...it really does, I have a gang, I'll send them on you😗

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Pablogavi:you got it miss😅

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Taia.belloli:^^^

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Katrinefrogtfriis:Preach^^^

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Annalewandowska:What's she said,

Watch it boy

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Coralsimanovich:Amen^^^

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Daniterstegen:^^^

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Nuriacunillera81: We're watching you☺️

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abioliivera: Word^

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Clauuudiape: exactly^^

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Joms_:^^^

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Sirakessie:We're capable of killing, so watch out

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Elenagalera:I couldn't agree more🥰

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romarey_ventura: So if you dare hurt her we will kill you slowly

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RI9:@pablogavi just so you know, we're in on this too👍

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Y/n.González:I love you guys so much!You guys are my favorite people ❤️though I think you scared Pablo a little...

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Fan98:Awww I love how they all are just backing herrrrrr!🥰❤️

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@Y/n.González

Liked by Mikkykiemeney, pablogavi,Pedri and 214.111 others

Y/n.Gonzáléz: Me and my girlies🥰Also me and @Mikkykiemeney in the two first pictures🤌🤌🤌 @taia.belloli @katrinefogtfriis

Tap too view comments…

Mikkykiemeney: We look smashable🤤

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Y/n.González: We were/are

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Pablogavi: l remember, you were very smashable😉

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Y/n.González:DO YOU KEEP FORGETTING THAT THIS IS A PUBLIC ACCOUNT!??😟

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Pablogavi:Only a little🤯

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Frenkiedejong:I agree with Gavi though..

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Mikkykiemeney:FRENKIE!!!

Fan38:What have these boys been taking??🥶

Febarcelona:our wags😍

Aurorapaezg: you guys are just so gorgeous😍😘

Belengavira79: My beautiful daughter in law🥰🥰

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@Pablogavi

Liked by Pedri, ansufati, Y/n.Gonzalez and 864.643 others

Pablogavi:so happy that I walked in on you on accident at pedri's house😍❤️

Tap too View comments...

Y/n. Gonzalez:PABLITO! DO YOU KNOW HOW WRONG THAT SOUNDS!????

Pedri: You walked in on my sister???????Have I missed something?😀

Fan53:Gavi what?😬

Vanessa_vasquez: hah! I've walked in on her way more times than your ass bitch 😙

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Y/n. González:You know my boyfriend is kind of aggressive right?🙃

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Vanessa_vasquez: Yes😛

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Pablogavi: I'm gonna fucking murder your dumb ass🤗

Pedri:what the fuck happened in the 3.Picture??

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Pablogavi:She passed out 😴

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Pedri: At a club???😨

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Y/n.González: yes in a club🙄 now go too sleep bitch

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Ferrrrr:y/n! Be nice!

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Pedri:Yes y/n, be nice😙

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Ferrrrr:You too you ass 🙄

Adrifebles_:how tf did you fall asleep in a fucking club?😭 @Y/n.González

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Rosylopez78: You made her fall asleep in her food one time so l'm not really surprised

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Y/n.González:MAMA!

Fan79: can't with this!😭

Fans32:Their relationship is so elite 😭I love them sm🤣

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@Y/n.González

Liked by pablogavi, taia.belloli, ferrrrrr, Pedri and 357.655 others

Y/n.González: Look at my beautiful godson!💙😍

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Rosylopez78:look at my sweet little girl🥰😍

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Y/n.González:Te quiero mami❤️

Fans65:Awww I love babies! I want one🥰😭

Adrifebles_:marco is so fucking cute🥹

Pedri:IS THAT THE ONESIE YOU USED TO WEAR ALL THE TIME WHEN YOU WERE A LITTLE BABY!????

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Fan2:Pedri are you doing okey?😀

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Y/n.González: How tf do you remember that?

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Pedri:because | was like 4 or 5 😞

AndreaMartinez:We love you!😘😘

Mikkykiemeney: that's gonna be your and gavi's baby one day🥰

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Y/n.González :STOPPPPPP🤭

Pablogavi: IT'S A PUSSY ON A PUSSY🐱

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Y/n.González: PABLO MARTIN PAÉZ

GAVIRA THERE IS NO WAY YOU JUST SAID THAT ON YOUR PUBLIC ACCOUNT

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Pablogavi:NOW PEOPLE ARE GONNA TRY TO GIND MY PRIVATE ACCOUNT YOU CUTE LITTLE SHIT

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Pedri: You know I wanna murder your ass right now right?

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Pablogavi:Yeah... had my assumptions hehe😅

Pabloismine:There is no fucking way he just said that?? What the fuck😶

Pablotorre:Gavi what the fuck is wrong with you?

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Pablogavi:Shut up

Alejandrobalde:| swear the doctors did something wrong when you were born