#🔥: straight from me!

[accendoignis]

Making cake!

[myreia]

✦ B L A C K M A G E

Black magic. The tempest of fire and ice and thunder that has been with her for as long as she can remember. Her control over it made her a force to be reckoned as a youth, the key to the specialized unit her parents staked their lives on. It has been many years since then. She has lost her strength and her focus to an enemy, clawed it back and reclaimed it in the aftermath, continued to grow with every step of the journey.   Though she has moved on in many ways, she will always return to her roots. —level 90 compendium

[ethereousdelirious]

Appreciation post for written-out stammering in sickfics 😩 L-less so like th-th-this and more so like, uh... More— More so like this. It's my absolute FAVE little "flavor" thing that people add in their fics, instant butterflies

[swdgf]

certain qidian authors shld start a side hustle writing dnmei actually 🙂‍↕️

[nytfythfhtyf]

i have no idea how many people are into the show eyewitness by the lady that directed twilight. i havent even watched the whole show. i read a summary of each episode and then watched videos of the parts where the guys are being gay. cannot give a rating for the quality of the show. great resource for boys kissing gifs tho 👍

[cosmic-ships]

Sickness please I am BEGGING you to go away. I can't take itttttt.

[muppetebbtide]

discworld dashboard simulator

❓ ankhmorporkpolls

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

This is like that tsortian guy who had to pick between goddesses and started a war and then died. Or like paying the assassin's guild to kill you

🔪 treefroghousealumni follow

*inhume

🧙🏻 blackalisstan

piss off you posh knob

🍴 priestessofanoia

tbf I don't think the watch is wasting its time on this blue hellsite so ur probably safe there. the POSTMASTER however...

#sometimes I think only bloody stupid johnson could have come up with this fucking site

10,435 notes

🪻watchofficial follow

ALL'S WELL!

🍴 priestessofanoia

nvm lmao 😭

47 notes

☕ klatchmeifyoucan follow

.

#ppl on here are actually sooooo ankh morpork centric it's insane #'EVERYONE knows webblethorpe the unconscious' who??? why the fuck should I??? #like HELLO there's other places on the disc? #and klatch is NICER like omg

4 notes

unseenuniconfessions reblogged:

🦧 unseenuniversitylibrary

Ook

#SO TRUE KING

100,034 notes

Anonymous asked:

Is lord vetinari gay

🪄ramtopswitches answered:

Why would you ask us, a ramtops witches blog, this

50,432 notes

🔮 uucompetitiveeatingchamp follow

CALLOUT: @ /spanglersal (deactivated)

• started a Kickstarter to crowdfund a click of Captain Vimes & Errol then disappeared with the money and has gone completely ghost on everyone

• apparently stole over 100k

• cringe

Read More

2000 notes

Anonymous asked:

Blessings be upon this askbox

🌷queen-of-lancre answered:

I don't know if this is nanny pretending to be granny, or if it's actually granny, and I think I'm too scared to find out

435 notes

cmot-dibbler-enterprises sponsored

SAUSAGES INNA BUN ‼️‼️‼️‼️🌭🌭🌭🌭

🏚️ throwingshades

Gonna go skating on the frozen river ankh!!

💀 nojusticejustus

HAVE FUN

🏚️ throwingshades

Thanks man!

34 notes

✉️ ampostofficeofficial follow

🐸 bursaaaaaaaaar

is. is the post office posting crab rave bc reacher gilt just turned up dead

7013 notes

🧳 agateantravels follow

The Crumley's Hogswatch grotto is being advertised again but somehow I just don't think they can top last year's... like idk where they got the budget from but the real pigs?? CRAZY. my little sister asked for a pony and there was just one in the house when we got back like?? My mum was PISSED but yes talk abt Hogswatch magic. Still wonder how they pulled it off

345 notes

💖 angelofmusic

It's literally SO unfunny to be making jokes about the Opera Ghost when you all KNOW I saw so many of my friends DIE last year??? I literally have so much PTSD from it... like it's so insensitive you're all actually the WORST

#vent #don't rb #some of you will say ANYTHING for a cheap laugh :(

5 notes

🐊 genuablogging

My dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “narrative causality” 😳 you’ll be zonked out of your gourd 💯

Me: yeah whatever. I don’t feel shit.

5 minutes later: dude I swear I just saw the Duc turn into a frog

My buddy Mrs Pleasant, pacing: Lilith de Tempscire is lying to us

456 notes

[pearlzier]

────⠀ ⠀uhm. chris eating cooch 🔥 nomnomnomno

warnings / SMUT hi... self explanatory. chris eats pussy, oral (f!receiving), afab!reader, sitting on face, they're in a bathroom errrrr yeah

"take off your panties," chris instructs hoarsely, voice low and throaty despite his mouth watering at the wetness dampening the thin fabric covering your core. his hands rub over your thighs, grasping at them tight like he'd die if he let go. and quite honestly, you knew he felt as if he would die if he took his hands off of you.

"take off—" you stammer for a moment, chest rising and falling in quickened breaths at the thought of being bare infront of him but also just because, well, he's on his knees beneath you, ready to eat you out like his life's depending on it. "yeah? yeah, okay," you muse, realising he'd guided your hands to the waistband. fingers curling into the fabric, you slide your panties down your thighs with an unmatched determination.

it makes him laugh. and he mutters quietly, "someone's eager, huh?" he squeezes your thigh tightly, shaking his head for a moment. though, when he sees you, without the fabric covering you, he groans softly. practically feeling the way his boxers tighten around him. he's a mess, the sight of your slick, puffy folds making his head spin.

"you look so fucking beautiful, angel," he mumbles, the urge to tug you down onto his face and just devour you literally palpable. though, he enacts the faintest bit of restraint and he doesn't. not yet, anyway. chris doesn't want to scare you.

instead—he leans his head in and he starts kissing at your inner thighs. feeling the your warmth so close to his face makes his cock twitch in his pants, his hand dropping to adjust himself for a moment. to give you a taste, no pun intended, of how he's feeling, he lets his hot breath fan against your sensitive skin with every bite and lick he makes on your thighs. chris looks up at you through his lashes, blue eyes piercing under the shitty lights of the bathroom.

"so soft too," god, he's obsessed with you and he knows it. absolutely obsessed, damn it. you're obsessed with him too, one hundred percent. your eyes linger over him. searching his gaze. fingers threading through his hair, you also have to enact self restraint to not bury his head in your cunt and make yourself see stars. since he's just right there. "says you," you mumble quietly, panting a little bit. "you look perfect."

the sound of his damn voice. fuck, fuck, fuck.

chris smiles against your thighs, tongue darting out against you for a moment to lick against your thighs. "you're even more perfect, y'hear me?" his eyes shut as your fingers scratch at his scalp gently, and he moans against you, sending another shiver down your spine. his breath ghosts against you, as he lets out a few pants of his own. it takes him a few moments to get back at the task at hand.

you moan when his breath hits your wetness, and you tug on his hair a little tighter. the look of him moaning against you makes you giggle, "guess we're both perfect then," you say as you shift your weight above him.

"mmh, we're perfect for eachother then, yeah?" the mixture of the thought of getting his mouth on you and the way you tug on his hair has both feelings going straight to his dick. however he wants to focus on you. "don't worry, baby," he coos, "gonna make you feel so good."

"make me feel good?" he swallows hard and nods at your words. hey. you're not complaining at all if he wants to do that. so you nod too, and affirm, "make me feel good." you push his hair from his face gently so it doesn't get in the way, eyes fluttering over his face for a minute.

chris is sure his mouth's watering by now, when you give him that permission. he runs his hands over your soft thighs, squeezing them tightly before he looks back up at you. "yeah? sit down for me then," he's gentle but firm.

you're surprised, confused even. it literally can't be what you're thinking but it most definitely is. the cheeky gleam in his eyes tells you exactly what he's thinking. "yeah, sit," he hums, hands sliding up to your hips so he could tug you down onto his face, but he doesn't do so yet. "c'mon, ain't gonna crush me."

you look at him skeptically. you're hesitant despite the fact you can feel air against you and his hot breath too and he's already seen your pretty pussy, so why on earth are you so terrified of sitting down on his face. "right, okay," you say mostly to yourself, "i'm gonna—yeah, okay, alright," you watch as chris sits back against the wall, looking up at you expectantly.

"c'mon, angel," he drawls.

and yeah, that's right when any resolve you had plus any fight literally dies within you and you're practically clambering towards him to plant yourself down on his waiting mouth. you splay your hands against the bathroom wall, trying to grab onto at least something to steady yourself. a yelp slips past your lips the moment he practically drops you down onto him, and a moan follows suit when you feel his nose nudging your clit.

chris doesn't miss a fucking beat—his tongue darting out to give you a sharp lick. "so fuckin' sweet," you taste like heaven, god, he's lucky. he grunts, hands grasping at your hips to push your drooling cunt further onto him. god, you're in heaven too at this rate. "shit, chris, oh, fuck me—"

"we'll get to that in a bit, i'm enjoyin' myself here," chris eats pussy like a fucking champ. like it's a professional sport and he's won the damn world championship at it. he can't take it, the pretty noises you make, shit. chris moans against you, making long, broad licks across your wet folds, lapping up your slick. then, he moves in a little closer, once he's got you secured—he makes a heavy stripe with his tongue from your entrance to your clit, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud of nerves once he gets there.

"fuck," you're panting, hips canting down against his face, up into his mouth to chase any drop of pleasure he's giving you. your thighs squeeze around his face, and he's so clearly content, willing to die right there between your legs. but you still need him alive, y'know, to repay the favour. "jesus fucking christ, how'd you—"

"just, just.. baby, shut up," you know what, you get it, and you nod. a laugh bubbles out from your throat, but it soon turns back into whimpery moans as he delves deeper into your wey heat. when he takes your clit into his mouth, sucking and licking at it, you practically melt right there. with each lap of his tongue, you cant your hips towards his mouth, mewling each damn time.

"yeah, baby?" chris flutters his tongue over you. "you like that?"

"do i like that?" stupid question from him, to be honest, because you very clearly like it. those noises you're making? loud. you buck your hips down against him, the way he's eating you out sloppy and messy. but it fits him, fits you. plus, he's getting you off good. "shit, shit, fuck, m'gonna.. fuck."

"potty mouth, much?" though his voice is muffled, his hand swats at your thigh for a moment which only causes more of your arousal to ooze into his mouth as he laps at you. his grip on your thighs shifts, and he changes his position a little to get you to come on his face. he's got a very one track mind at the moment.

"just shut up," your hands in his hair tug him up into your pussy a little more, just to get him to focus on eating you out. "yes, ma'am," he mutters, all amused, into you. he rocks you down against his mouth, his tongue dragging over you in quickened paces. the moment he feels your thighs start to tremble, and the sound of your gasp? yeah, he's done for too, and he buries his head against you more just to feel the way you squeeze his head with your thighs.

"that's it, there we go, there she fuckin' is, shit.." you practically gush on his face, leaving him and his mouth soaked with your arousal. your head's spinning, the pressure in your abdomen finally bursting in the most pleasant way possible. he's on cloud nine. he really doesn't wanna pull you off, but he fears if he stays there he'll end up working you up into overstimulation and he wants to save that for another time.

"you still breathin' down there?" you ask, voice almost timid as you recover from your orgasm, the tiniest bit embarassed.

he lifts his hand up, giving you a quick thumbs up, "barely." hell, good enough for you.

taglist ／ ⋆ ۪ @pettydollie, @dayzeandhaze, @mattslolita, @https--roman, @httqvi ( i need an official taglist LMFAO i DONT know who to tag anymore lmk abt the taglist thanks pookasmooks................ )

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙love (post) island | LN4˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: lando norris x love island contestant!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au

warnings: none jus fluff!!!

summary: in which you leave the love island villa without love, but find it waiting for you on the other side

a/n: loveeeeeee this idea omg im so motivated to write atm!!!

request!!!: reader is/was a contestant on love Island and Lando is surprisingly a big fan, always hiding in the likes and comments of the posts about her. She leaves the villa single or not in a couple and he shoots his shot

my masterlist

fc: tasha ghouri

instagram ->

loveisland

liked by landonorris, user12, user3, and others

loveisland following the bombshell casa amor return episode tonight, y/n has been left single by her partner! will she leave the villa? 👀

view all comments

user1 poor y/n omg she's too sweet

user2 she's so insanely gorgeous

user3 bro she's a straight 10 there's no way

user4 aww i hope she doesnt leave i love watching her

user5 free my girl y/n 😭

user6 why is f1 driver lando norris in the likes 😂

user7 omg he's been in the likes of posts abt y/n for ages 😭😭

user8 none of them in there have any idea that y/n is the favourite lol

user9 i hope she picks what's best for her 💓

user10 i cant wait for her to come out & see all the support she's getting!!!

user11 y/n leave the villa & see lando norris in all ur likes 😎

user12 imagine this omg

twitter ->

instagram ->

loveisland

liked by user16, user8, landonorris, and others

loveisland & in tonight's episode it's official: y/n y/l/n has left the villa following what she described as a major betrayal! she said: “staying in the villa and attempting to pursue something else isn't staying true to me; i would never do that in the real world and i don't feel comfortable compromising my heart” 🥹 thoughts & feelings on y/n's untimely departure?

view all comments

user20 she has a beautiful heart <3

user21 omg :(

user22 lando's chance

user23 frrrrr he's in the likes AGAIN!!!

user24 she's so precious!!

user25 so proud of her!!

user26 it's love island what did she expect...

user27 ikr like get a grip girl

user28 aww i wish she stayed but she's so amazing

user29 she's a role model to girls fr

user30 so proud she knows her limits 🥹❤️

user31 she's the hottest girl in there fr

user32 dont wanna watch anymore without her 😭

user33 wont be the same 💔

user34 she holds herself so well it's been a pleasure to watch her fr

messages ->

txts between max (fewtrell) & lando !!!

instagram ->

yourusername posted a story

liked by landonorris, mollymae, and others

mollymae you're doing amazing!

user35 😻😻😻

user36 everyone is so proud of u!!!

yoursister 🩷🩷🩷

yourbff SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU BACK BABY

user37 legend <3

user38 we all love u y/n!!

user39 sending sm love to u

user40 look out for that dm from lando norris babe 😘

landonorris killed it 🔥

user41 u slayed

user42 the people's princess fr

user43 y/n do u know we're all shipping u with lando norris xx

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by yourbff, landonorris, and others

yourusername catching up on life x

view all comments

user44 catch up on those dms

user45 @.landonorris

user46 wow @.landonorris dms look good to catch up on

user47 the comments 😭😭😭😭😭

yourbff beaut girl so glad ur home 💋

yourusername ilysm i missed u

yoursister got my baby back!

yourusername missed you stunnerrr

user48 her pretending not to see the comments

user49 @.landonorris

user50 some of you guys are so determined 😂

loveisland we miss you in the villa! 🫶

liked by yourusername

mclaren gorgeous x

yourusername thanks babe

user52 hello?

user53 what

user54 HI?????

user55 nah they're fucking with us

user56 what is going on

user57 @.landonorris explain urself

twitter ->

instagram ->

landoupdates

liked by user13, user66, user38, and others

landoupdates lando seen out tonight in london with ex-love island contestant y/n y/l/n, who he previously admitted to having a crush on in his last twitch stream

view all comments

user58 oh there's no way

user59 oh my god

user60 i knew sommat was happening

user61 are they dating

user62 girl you know the same as us

user63 screaming.

user64 OKAY????

user65 the most unlikely romance but im obsessed omg

user66 PLEASE LET THEM BE DATING??

user67 very cozy 👀

user68 i can't believe he actually rizzed her??

user69 we did it gang

user70 all that spamming paid off

user71 so proud of us

messages ->

txts between max (fewtrell) & lando !!!

instagram ->

landonorris posted a story

liked by maxfewtrell, oscarpiastri, and others

user72 my heart just stopped

user73 WHAT

user74 lando norris i was not familiar with your game

maxfewtrell im actually impressed

landonorris *bows*

oscarpiastri wait… what?

landonorris yea yea yea get ur digs out now whilst u can

oscarpiastri no, im actually impressed…

user75 lando norizz found dead at the scene

user76 I CANT BELIEVE THIS

user77 IT WORKED GUYS

yourbff am i seeing things?

landonorris no, not at all

yourbff nice, welcome to the club

landonorris what club?

yourbff the club

landonorris WHAT CLUB?

user78 you have to give us some credit for this surely

messages ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by yourbff, maxfewtrell, and others

yourusername love (post) island…

tagged: landonorris

view all comments

user79 i jus squealed

user80 the last slide omg

user81 there's no way he came up with that on his own

carlossainz55 not at all

user82 HAHAHA CARLOS???

user83 bf lando content... oh we are eating tonight

user84 WE SURVIVED THE GREAT WAR

liked by yourusername

yourbff oh we have come so far

yourusername dont remind me…

yourbff “isnt he that f1 driver?”

yourusername I SAID DONT 💀

landonorris nice to see i was held in such high regard <3

yourusername sorry baby 🙈

user85 AHH SHE'S JUST A GIRLLL

user86 the way he masterminded her 😭

liked by yourusername

user87 y/n stop liking every comment with a taylor swift song reference challenge 😂

liked by yourusername

user88 not her liking this

landonorris wow im the luckiest man alive

yourusername ur the best thing to come out of that tv show 😝

THE END 🧡

[draculaforce]

Friend: got some straight gas 🔥 strain is called "100 Acre wood" 🌲🐻 it'll have you eating honey from the pot 🍯

Me: yeah whatever

(10 min later) me: dude i swear I just saw a heffalump

Friend (pacing): Christopher Robin is lying to us

[accendoignis]

Bothersome... but nothing the King can't handle! It'll probably die by sundown.

[deadghosy]

Hey!! I have a request! Could you do the hazbin hotel characters and fem! CatNap reader! I know CatNap is a boy but I would like to see what kind of head canons they would have for a female version of CatNap. Also maybe reader would love chasing things around since cats do that?

HAZBIN HOTEL X FEM CATNAP!READER HEADCANNONS

prompt: you are female resident who helps sinners with insomnia

OKAY FIRST OFF! YOU DEFINITELY STILL SMELL LIKE VANILLA AND LAVENDER!🦆 NO ONE CAN ARGUE ABOUT THIS TO ME 😭

What I headcannon is kinda cartoony as reader has her legs cross as she just nods listening to a sinner’s sleep problem as she is just wearing glasses and a vest. Dead ass she just knocks them out like. “Problem solved!”

Charlie made you a room so residents and sinners could come in and have you help them sleep. Like either you knock them out and walk away. Or you actually stop being a lazy mofo and help them personally.

I headcannon based on the fluffy plush bodies that reader is still flat like the male catnap, cause obviously she doesn’t have a chest just like the plush body of Bobby bearhug. That’s basically how I imagine reader’s body is with her being like a little more skinny but definitely having trouble with people asking what her gender is.

“I’m a fucking cat, that’s what I am.” Is what reader would say irritated as it’s obvious in her feminine/decent voice.

Sassy catnap!reader is a goal as you would literally just do shit for shits and giggles😭✨🔥

Headcannon you have a purple vest with a white dress shirt and a black or white skirt with a few moon patterns on it while the color of your dress shirt as a moon pendent💗🦆

You straight up knocked a person out with your red smoke because they had sexualized you during the session and all you had to say was. “Oh really? Count to three…” “count to wh-” immediate knocked out as they fell face first from the chair as you smile with a full grin.

You used your claws to cut open a piece of candy for nifty as she hugs you and walked away happy. You love helping….

Alastor ran from you as you were chasing after him like a predator because he said he doesn’t need sleep…okay so imagine this….

You are sneaking like a lion behind Alastor as he drinks tea and he is like “I feel watched” with a sweatdropped and next thing people see in the halls is you grinning as you drag a motionless Alastor who still holds his tea up.

You wrapped your tail around Charlie to help her put up a banner as you file your claws as it was time to trim them. Like I imagine that as vaggie is like “What.” With a blank confused face seeing her girlfriend get lifted by a 8ft tall female cat

I can see reader having those teas that help people to sleep just incase they don’t like being passed out “force”. So you just make them tea as you listen to them rant as they fall asleep

Imagine reader reading a book as Lucifer is having a hyper moment behind her as she just peacefully reads….

It gives off “calm friend x hyper friend” vibes

Lucifer had one time patted you, and kept petting you until you purred so he can feel relaxed. He likes your purrs.

The duck king definitely has a picture of you purring on his lap…he even has it as his wallpaper kinda because of how soft and good smelling your fur is

OOOH IMAGINE YOU AND ANGEL HAVING A FASHION SHOW IN HIS ROOM💗🦆

Angel definitely gets you some nice clothes to match your aesthetic or purple clothing with white and cream.

You carry nifty in your mouth as if she was your kit….its cute okay…like niffty straight up smile as you hold her like your own kitten.

“This is ma mom now!” Nifty says happily as you just walk around with the back of her dress in your mouth.

Cherri bomb was good about you by Angel dust as Angel had put an image of how cool and badass you are at not following the rules. She always tries to persuade you into giving her your red smoke to make bombs out of it. SHE ONLY WANTS TO CAUSE DESTRUCTION!!!🦆‼️

Sir Pentious brings his egg boiz to you when they can’t sleep so you can use your red smoke on them. They snuggle in your purple fur as you just play a lullaby for them

I imagine you and husk purring by each other out of no where confused…but it’s because of your peaceful scent installed in your fur and body.

You still have your signature cocky smile before you knock a bitch out with the gas coming from your mouth.

I can see how you have a moon ring as [favorite hazbin hotel character] has a sun ring to show off your friendship with them

Imagine how reader gets groomed by the whole hazbin hotel crew because of their 8ft tall frame…there’s a lot of extra work in grooming your fur.

You definitely have those candles as well with that lavender smell with hint of vanilla. You have so much aromatherapy stuff for people. You might as well be the aroma goddess-

I headcannon you using your demon form (basically that form where the player sees catnap as a skinny monster) to scare people 😭 you’re an asshole as I imagine Angel getting ready for his morning to only see you behind the shower curtain with a creepy smile

Angel screamed and ran out the room looking crazy…..😭 Charlie found out and made you apologize to Angel as he was locked in his room..

He’s definitely not going to the bathroom alone-

Just like my other catnap! Reader, you definitely walk around slowly but stealthy releasing that poppy gas just incase a resident or your friends try sneaking out. “It’s time for bed…” you says quietly as you move smoothly around the hotel hallways

Just like before, Lucifer was scared of you until you showed him you can be quite the loving person you can be. Like Lucifer will lay on your body for comfort if he was getting busy from paper work in his office.

I can imagine Angel trying to get you to use your gas on Valentino and you’re like “sure” as you put a jar to your mouth and release it and give it to Angel.

[zombvic]

YASSIFIED (jude bellingham x reader)

summary : in which y/n & jude share silly banter on social media

face claim : wolfiecindy

notes : this is short, silly, boring, no plot and kinda stupid so sorry bout that xx anyways dont be a ghost reader please ! this idea went to my mind right when i saw those pictures lmfaoooo

pairings : jude bellingham x model!reader

Liked by victoriabeckham, judebellingham & 3,562,005 others.

yourusename now I'm lyin' on the cold hard ground

View all 2,547 comments.

user mother is mothering

user AAAAAAAAAAAH so fine

user jude in the likes .. 👀

user guys that's my girlfriend !!

user the prettiest

judebellingham get ur ass up from the cold floor ??

- yourusername what the fuck jude

user can jude fight .

Liked by victoriabeckham, judebellingham & 3,562,005 others.

yourusename how i sleep knowing no girl gets on his nerves more than me #sassymenapocalypse

View all 3,887 comments.

user i know a sassy man..

user does this sassy individual play football perchance.. ?

- user you cant just say perchance

judebellingham this is incorrect tho

- yourusername why huh

- judebellingham ur missing those big ass plushies

- yourusername oh okay, youre blocked!

user their interactions r so funny

user funniest "not a real" couple ever

Liked by yourusername, gioareyna & 3,562,005 others.

judebellingham #ad #skimsformen

yourusername THEY DONE YASSIFIED BRO 😭

- judebellingham yk i look good

- yourusername u literally look oiled up

user hes so fine

user FOR FREEEE ??????

user pick me

- user to be your wife plsplspls

user pero juuuuude 🔥

user praying my girl doesnt see this

user hes making me question my sexuality

yourusername bro is stealing my job

Liked by yourusername, gioareyna & 3,562,005 others.

yourusername okay guys.. cats out the bag.......! (barca is still better)

user idk if i should be happy or sad

user WHAT THE FUCKCKCKCFHDJFE

judebellingham wow i look good

- yourusername look at ME silly!

- judebellingham youre right gorgeous💘 

- yourusername i weirdly dont believe you

user it couple

user victoria and david of the century (funny enough, my name is victoria lmfao)

user idk who i want to be

- user i do! jude is one lucky mf

user shes everything and hes just.. ken

took me straight up like an hour idk i just wanted to post something instead of studying for a "školská" from maths

[arlertwhore]

pairing: paige bueckers x fem! reader

warning(s): nsfw/18+, fighting (verbal/physical), toxic relationship stuff, fingering, thigh riding, pussy eating, squirting,

synopsis: the bitchy, possessive, and temperamental gf who paige thinks she can handle proves her right!

word count: 2.4k

Author Note: got my first lil hate comment the other day 😜 i feel like an actual writer now lmao! here goes draft #6, comin’ in lit 🔥

Fuck knows what you're complaining about this time. She's straight from practice — from a rigorous, exhausting, and intense practice, frustrated with her own performance, only to find you waiting at the door, already irritated about something entirely. Perhaps it was how she didn’t answer you at all today—or how you saw her looking too close for comfort to another 'fan' as she claimed, though you never trusted it—or maybe she even fucking sighed at you the wrong way upon entering through the door because the littlest of things ticked you off—you—her bitchy, demanding, and infuriatingly sexy girlfriend, whom Paige has to constantly remind herself she willingly got involved with, knowing full well she was signing up for the being the figurative property of the brattiest, bossiest, most high-maintenance girl on campus.

"Are you even listening to me?!" you fume as Paige storms past you, stripping a trail of her clothes all the way to the bathroom, letting her hair fall loose from its low bun as she saunters away from your chaos, massaging her temples.

"Seriously, Y/N, now's not the time, I gotta-" - "I don't give a fuck!" you explode, chasing after her and grabbing her arm to spin her back around. "I don't care about your shitty day or your shitty excuses. Why the fuck didn't you text me back, hm?" Paige sighs, avoiding your eyes with an air of exasperation, her gaze shifting to the ceiling in an attempt to not roll them. At her silence, you feel your anger boil over, frustration evident in the clenched fist at your sides and the tense set of your jaw. "You're the fucking worst, Paige!" you snap, "You think just because I'm understanding that means you can take pictures with all these other bitches, post all on your Instagram, but then NOT text me back!"

Paige knew she was the man, the kind of person who could handle any challenge, which is why she thought dating someone like you—a real piece of work—would be a good match. She believed you could keep her on her toes, pushing her to become mentally stronger, more confident, and dominant—qualities she hoped would shine on the court, but on days like this, when you demanded drama and chaos, she wondered if she was truly cut out for it. Her honest, no-bullshitting, no-pretense attitude of: My girlfriend is so sexy opinion? Nah. And she promptly proved that stance when she spat out, “Alright, I’m sorry, baby… Is that what you want me to say? That I’m sorry I have things to do and you act like a bitch about it?” her voice venomous and defensive, stunning you. “Man, get the fuck out of my way right now. I don’t feel like fighting with you, for real,” she demanded, trying to brush past you. You couldn’t believe she actually spoke to you like that—she was usually so considerate of your feelings. In a fit of rage, you squared up to her and pushed her back by her shoulders with a strength you didn’t know you had over the 6ft wall of strength she was. Growling, you commanded, “You’re gonna stand here until WE’RE done talking!”

Paige stands with her hands on her hips, clenching at her sides with such restraint that her basketball shorts ride up, revealing her boxers underneath. She warns, "Stop playin' with me, yo. Step aside." and as she advances again, trying to get to the bathroom door behind you, you block her path, arms crossed and eyes flashing. Sneering, you challenge defiantly, "No. What are you gonna do if I don’t step aside, P? Hm? You gonna hit me?"

She takes a deep breath, drops her head, and shakes it exasperatedly before a light chuckle escapes her, broad shoulders bouncing. “Whatever, ma,” she mutters, turning around and picking up the clothes she’d left scattered on the floor. “I’m gonna go shower at Mikayla’s — forget this.”

You don’t have enough time to be angry about her saying she’s visiting Mikayla’s house—the slut you’d warned her to stay away from. Instead, you sprint to the front door, grab her keys off the rack, and hide them behind your back. Coldly, you say, “You’re mine, Paige. Turn around and get your ass in bed, NOW! You ain’t goin’ nowhere.”

Paige knows you and your past well enough to recognize that you aren’t joking about this possessiveness. However, she’s far from intimidated at the moment. Instead of backing down or appeasing you like she usually does for her princess, she glares at you with a fiery defiance. Her voice is firm as she refutes, “Give me my keys, Y/N.”

You gaze at her, a smirk forming on your face as you watch her façade of nonchalance crumble. Her face turns a subtle red, veins bulging in her hands as she holds them open, waiting for the keys, her lips curled inward and cheeks hollowed. She stands there expectantly, like a statue, until you bristle as she seizes your wrist, slamming it against the door while reaching for the keys with her other hand. Instinctively, you counter with your free hand, pushing her away. She’s lost her calm and collected demeanor. It’s scarier how she doesn’t run but still chases you with the relentlessness of a predator. Her eyes blaze with determination as she follows your running with a steady, purposeful stride. You taunt, “Come and get it, doggy! Yeah, you little bitch!” luring her toward the bathroom, the only room in the house with a lock, and Paige knows exactly what you’re up doing. Just before you can slam the door in her face, Paige lunges for it and forces it open, stepping inside and backing you against the door. This time, she tries a different approach to get the keys—she clasps your waist, holding you in place with her knees pressed against your smaller legs, effectively immobilizing you. As she tussles with you for the keys, you keep a tight grip on them. The struggle is fierce, and you're both panting in each other’s faces, exchanging only ragged breaths. You finally manage to break free from the bathroom and run for the bedroom with Paige hot on your heels. As you glance over your shoulder to see where she’s at, you realize too late that she’s no longer focused on reclaiming her keys. With a swift tackle, she takes you down onto the bed, pinning you there and forcing you into submission. The keys fall out of your hand, but Paige remains on top of you, her anger unrepairable as she growls, “Wanna bitch at me like that when I’m tired?” Her big hands begin to untie your nightrobe. “Wanna piss me off when I’m trying to be nice about things?”

She moves with an almost animalistic quality, yanking you down the bed by your legs and sending your clothes flying off with the force of her pull, baring your body to her hungry blue eyes. She hisses against your neck, “Little bitch?” and you nod rebelliously, “Yeah..fuck,” you heave, “look at you, so pissed, hm?” Her words are unbearably sexy when she vows, “I’ll show you a little bitch.” Mere moments later, she’s seated on the edge of the bed, with you draped over her lap like a ragdoll. You’re writhing, still trying to resist, biting and clawing at her thighs, but Paige’s grip is unyielding. Under her strength, you’re completely powerless.

Her hands spread your ass open, giving her a clear view of your dripping pussy. She chuckles cockily, the smirk evident in her voice even though you're not looking at her when she drawls, “This is why you’re really bitchin’ out, huh, ma?”

You whine at her words, stuttering and squirming, “Let me go, Paige, f-fuck!”

She tuts dismissively. “Aw, but that’s not what you really want, baby... you just need this pussy fucked, don’t you? To get fucked back to your senses—make you my good girl again, my princess...” she purrs, her fingers sliding through your slick and teasing your asshole. Then you hear the dirtiest, most sinful suck of fingers in her mouth you’ve ever heard.

Hips arched high with her strong arm restraining you from running, pressed firmly into your lower back, punching pressure deep within and outside of you, all aligning on the inside, she works her fingers into your soaking wet cunt with precision. She curls and bruises against your walls, relentlessly hitting that spot that makes you squirm like a torture puppet and cry out, "Ah!" for your dear life.

Her smarmy, taunting response? “I know, baby, I know, fuck… too tight for it, I know,” she bellows, feeding off your whimpers and whines with a sadistic delight. That smirk on her face—the one you wish you hadn't turned back to see—tells you she's savoring this victory a little too much and has no intention of letting you go anytime soon, even if you've clearly accepted that you're the little bitch. “Please,” you plead, sinking your nails into her thigh, but it doesn’t seem to perturb her in the slightest—if anything, it only eggs her on, makes her devilishly speed up. “It won’t happen again—I-I won’t act like a bitch anymore, daddy, I’m sorry,” you submit, hoping for some mercy, but she’s unforgiving. She chuckles darkly, yanking you up by your hair so you’re forced to look her in the eye, even if hers aren’t fully focused on yours, watching how your tits bounce as she fucks you senseless. “One more time,” she stares at them, biting her bottom lip with a smirk before she refocuses and demands it sternly. Without hesitation, you repeat it louder before she even finishes her command: “I won’t act like a bitch anymore, daddy, I’m sorry!” She smirks, her grip tightening. "I know you won't. Not after I'm done with you." She releases your head, and you fall forward hard, your back arching under what feels like tons of weight as she drives into you overwhelmingly, making you cry out in shock. "Shit!" you gasp, involuntarily pushing back against her long fingers to soften the blow and the jam, so forcefully that your ass claps with each thrust as she fucks into you.

“Say my name, baby, who’s fucking you,” Paige demands. You groan, clenching around her thick, long fingers and spilling spurts of slick arousal as you pant, “You, Daddy!” Paige tilts her head, unsatisfied. “Nah.” Her hand, once forcing down your back, quickly wraps around your throat, clasping firmly as she whispers, “Tell me, Ma.” With the blonde holding you tightly, despite your attempts to escape, with no leverage, she easily grips you by the throat like a puppet, forcing you back onto her fingers with insane speed and force. She thrusts into you even faster, your clit now grinding against her thigh. You hike a leg up in a desperate attempt to run or crawl away, but she's got you firmly in place.

“Paige! Paige, Paige, Paige, you’re fucking me!” you cry out.

“And you like it, baby? Like how my fingers feel fucking that tight pussy?” she taunts, flexing her leg muscles and increasing the friction.

“Aww shit,” you moan strainedly, feeling the familiar coil in your stomach emerge. Your body still tries to crawl away, but your brain forces you to stay put, losing all the air inside you.

“Stop fucking running, ma, take it,” she commands. “Take it, baby, just cum for me, kay? Cum for me, give me your cum.”

You listen to the sound of your cunt, feel it pulsing and clenching around her fingers before you give up and stop fighting and allow all the pleasure crash over you, your body convulsing as your orgasm hits. You gasp and cry out, surrendering to the intense sensation as your cunt tightens rhythmically around her fingers, your clit throbbing against her thigh. She fucks you through your orgasm, continuing even after that, giving you no recovery time, no chance to catch your breath before she has you on your back, legs still spread and a wet mess beneath you. Leaning in, she murmurs, “Be good for me, be still, kay? Let me clean you up—jus' lemme taste you, baby.”

Your hand comes up to cover your face, crying out as you feel her tongue glide through your folds. Gripping onto her hair tightly, you sob—a genuine cry from the overstimulation. Through your tears, you manage to gasp, “Fuck, baby, it hurts so good, ugh!”

You shout and clamp your legs shut, burying her with a guttural scream once her fingers scissor your folds and hold them open, her tongue flicking exactly against your clit, making direct contact.

She pries your legs open inhumanly, like an uncaring monster, her voice resounding and vibrating in your cunt, "Hold your ankles in the air." a command.

You obey, and she’s even nice enough to help, her strong arms holding your legs apart as she laps and slurps up all your cum like she’s parched, her swallows audible and incredibly sexy.

You look down at her and watch her head shake around wildly, losing herself in the abyss, entranced. You try to push her away by bucking into her face, hands occupied, but you end up unintentionally pushing her closer instead. You whine out desperately, your toes, nipples, and cunt especially on fire. "Pl-PLEASE!" you gasp, "I c-can't, I’m gonna—" Her fingers replace her tongue on your clit, while her tongue dips inside you as she murmurs, "Mhm," You cover your face, and the last thing you hear before you pass out is the frantic noise of her tongue fighting to slip even deeper inside you. There’s the sound of a leak, then the subsequent opening of your eyes after what feels like days. You look down at your girlfriend to find her face glistening in a pool of arousal, juices smeared everywhere. Her first instinct? To lick around her mouth, trying to savor the taste as she smiles at you smugly, knowing she’s clearly gotten her point across to your fucked-out self.

Needless to say, Paige has proven herself to you as she knew she would always: she is NOT someone to be underestimated.

MASTERLIST

AUTHOR NOTE #2: uhh so i reread this and i just wanna know if anybody else reading this who writes, is it crazy i reread my own work and blush at it like a viewer 😅 am i a freak guys 😅😅😅 do you do that too?? ANYWAY GUYS PLS INTERACT WITH ME ILY ALL MWAH!

[lovexjoe]

how would Armando react if he misses his girlfriend (the beautiful and sexy reader) while he is in prison? And when he comes out he desperately wants to see her And he's hungry for touch and dying to touch her 🔥🔥

Your 🐱 gonna need the ER when he’s done

Warnings: all the above cause this about to be dutty!!! 18+ cause ngl I wrote some nasty nasty

Y/N and Armando wrote letters back and forth since he’s been locked away

You were secretly happy that Mike and Marcus needed his help on this case because it meant him being free even for a little.

Visits were hard because the kisses and the hand holding could only hold you off for so long

You slipped him some nude Polaroids that he could jack off to when he was alone in his cell.

“Fuck mami when I’m out of here it’s you and me all night”

A few days went by and you haven’t heard anything from Mike or Marcus. You were worried and Kelly suggested you stayed with them just in case. That’s when they popped up on the news. No way…

Within a few hours of you pacing, they popped in through the front door and you immediately wrapped your arms around him. Showering him with kisses all over his face.

“You smell like straight caca but I was so worried” Y/N said causing everyone to laugh. Armando already a lost puppy following you around.

“Oh my god he’s like a dog Mike, tf wrong with your son?!” Marcus says to Mike as they watch Armando kiss on your shoulder.

“That boy in love, let him live”

After explaining the plan, you guys ended up heading back to your house. Armando grabbing and slapping your ass as you open the front door

“You my stinky redneck, need a shower” Shoving a towel to his chest and shooing him away.

“Baby! There’s no more body wash” You could’ve swore you put a new one in this morning, but you honestly couldn’t remember.

“I’m sorry baby here you go” Holding your arm out with the body wash trying not to get wet, Armando smirks as he pulls you into the shower.

The sight of seeing him naked after being in prison for almost 2 years, your pussy immediately clenched. The water cascading down his perfectly fit body. Your eyes welled up with tears, you didn’t think this day would come so soon and you didn’t want it to end it.

“I’m here now baby no need for tears.” He wipes your tears away wanting nothing more to be here in this moment with you for the rest of your lives. You had a beautiful soul that loved all his flaws and my god were you sexy. He wouldn’t admit it but he prayed every day in prison that you were protected and that he’ll see you soon.

You pulled him close as you kissed him. Your tongue slipping into his mouth the taste of toothpaste still lingers. He pulls your shirt off, ripping your bra in half and earning a little moan from you. God you loved when he’s like this. Animalistic. He took what he wanted and made you a moaning whimpering mess.

He made hickeys on all over your neck and breast, playing and biting your nipples. He cups them suspiciously, not use to them overflowing his hand.

“Fuck, they got bigger. Eres perfecta mami” As he sucks on your nipples, you begin to stroke him missing the sounds he use to make for you. You got down on your knees, the water making your skin glisten. Your tongue teasing his tip, causing him to groan. His length is so long and thick, you knew he was gonna stretch you out all night. You slapped his length against your tongue, keeping eye contact with him. He swore he was gonna lose his mind and you barely even done anything.

“Fuck my mouth daddy” You brought his hands up to your head and signal him to grab your hair. He looked into your eyes for reassurance and you nodded your head eagerly: wanting to be his submissive girl for the night. He grips your hair firmly, keeping your head still as he pumps his length in and out your mouth. You took it like a good girl for him, the moans escaping his mouth only encouraged you to deep throat him more. He didn’t want to cum just yet, but your eyes told him it’s okay and he let himself go. His muscles start to flex as he works through his orgasm releasing his warm nut into your mouth. He taste so fucking good. You swallowed, smiling to yourself that you brought him to release so quick. He picked up on that little smile and boy were you in for it.

He pushes you against the shower wall, ripping your leggings open, exposing your red little thong. The same one in a few of those Polaroids you sneaked him. He wanted to hear you beg for him tonight. He pulls on the red material causing it to press up against your clit. You let out a soft gasp.

“Please I’ve been good” Your voice a little sore after that blowjob. You arch your ass out to him more, begging to feel his tongue on you again. He turns the shower off and slaps your ass: picking you up bridal style and carrying you over to the edge of your bed. You threw the remaining of your clothes across the room and he laughs. His eager little princess, legs spread and he starts to admire you. You’ve been taking care of yourself since he’s been locked away. Pulling you closer, he gets down on his knees, wrapping your legs around his shoulder and starts to suck on your clit working his tongue down your wet folds.

Your body completely working against your mind as you came a few times against your will. Oh you missed him so much.

“You taste so fucking sweet mami”

Slipping two fingers into you slowly, you forget touching yourself is completely different from his hands. You felt yourself starting to squirt, you couldn’t even help it. Your mind was mush and you haven’t even had sex yet.

“A-Armando! I need you please” He keeps pumping his fingers in and out of you as he hovers over you.

“Beg for me” Whispering against your whimpering lips

“P-please!” He slips a 3rd finger in and you completely lose it. You couldn’t even speak, you lifted your hips slightly to work your pussy on his fingers. What a fucking sight to see.

“Good girl, mi princesa. Such a good fucking girl for me”

You ride out your last orgasm before he aligns himself at your entrance. Something about this moment felt so special, so real. Armando couldn’t believe he found someone like you. No one would ever wait for a man in prison or even talk to him knowing what the fuck he’s done: but here you are. You made him feel safe and loved. That life was worth living after all. He tucks your hair behind your ear and just gazes at everything he’s prayed for.

“Te amo tanto mi vida. ¿Quieres casarte conmigo?" (I love you so much, my life. Will you marry me?)

You couldn’t believe it. You never knew what your future holds with Armando. You hoped that it would be marriage and kids but with everything he’s been through you accepted that maybe that wasn’t meant to be. You put that dream away and lock it up, but now….it was yours.

“Yes. I love you baby. I love you so much.” The kiss alone made your stomach do back flips. You felt him slowly slip the tip in. Both of you gasping at the sensation before he fully thrust his length into you.

“You’re so fucking tight” He holds you close as your pussy clenches with each thrust. You two were not going to last long. He lifts both of your legs on his shoulder to allow himself to get as deep as he could. Your moans the only thing holding him back from cumming again. He wants to talk you through it.

“You’re taking me so well mamita”

“I know it’s big you can take it though”

“Tan hermosa baby” (so beautiful)

“Cum for me, let go I’ve got you”

In that moment you both held each other and let go. The sloppy kisses and thrusts slowed down as he lays on top of you, still inside you. You kissed his forehead.

“Nice job mi jefe” You pinched his cheek causing him to blush for the first time. Mi jefe huh? I think he could get use to that.

[breathinlove]

band!ellie 2 headcanons and smau

read this

sinopse: ellie williams is the lead singer in a band (+some texts with her).

cw: nsfw after the texts with warning! swearing, explicit, reader works in a record store and ellie's a simp, not explicit if reader is fem or masc.

part 1

band!ellie who made it unbelievable for dina and jesse to believe she found her girl, but then they met you.

“this shit's cringe as fuck, but you two are sweet…” jesse starts and dina immediately agrees. “yeah, she's perfect for you, el.” “i knowwwww, i need her.” jumping like a teenage girl fr...

band!ellie who sometimes thinks her bandmates like you way too much.

“invite y/n to the next rehearsal too for real.” jesse says after you leave a rehearsal you went to. “okay man i get it, she's amazing.” with an annoyed expression. “so… invite her.” dina chuckles. “no, i don't want any of you jumping on my girl.” but she does invite you anyway.

band!ellie who's so stupid tbh, she's gonna sign girls’ tits after concerts and act all oblivious when you swerve her kisses.

and swerving her is so fun istg, she's gonna try like 4 times before she's upset. UPSET! (she will go non verbal).

band!ellie who's the type to perform and glance at you like you're about to have sex right that instant (u will, after the concert tho!).

band!ellie who's a singer herself but turns on the tv and pretends to be the weeknd for you.

band!ellie who wishes she could rap… actually, no. she thinks she can.

"that was... something." you smirk and she scoffs, throwing herself on the couch she was standing on, mic in hand. "i'm literally in my rapper era but whatever, you'll see." and you're full on laughing. "don't laugh." and you come hug her and say she's so so special.

band!ellie who makes it so you can't open x (twitter) without seeing girls mourning your girlfriend… she's alive not single tho!

band!ellie who's always late for everything, but she tries her best istg. you and the band are TIREDDD.

band!ellie who's nervous about pda… but she likes it, showing everyone you're hers and she's yours.

band!ellie who made a slideshow about how you should move into her apartment… that was kinda like:

“REASONS FRRRR 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯

ALL OF THEM 🤣

we're literally soulmates so we gotta be roommates too???

countless sleepovers omg i'm crying!

i'll never be late again (kinda😬)

we can get a pet tg 😯

i'll get to listen to u sing in the shower more and you know i like hearing you and singing with you while im in the toilet or even outside the bathroom

passionate lesbian sex before sleeping, after eating, doing the dishes, the laundry ALL THE TIME

i love you the most and i want you close all the time

you love me back (i hope) so you gotta want me close too

i want you as my wife asap

think about it, thanks and please my love ❤️”

you moved in… weak mf but can anyone blame you??

band!ellie who loves cooking with you for friends and family when they come over. just loves being with you in general but even house chores are better with you??

band!ellie who comes to disturb see you at your job, your bosses hate her and said they were gonna stop selling their album 😒 (they actually love her).

band!ellie who switches from your serious cool rockstar girlfriend to your silly baby girlfriend in a second.

band!ellie who reposts them and comments under edits fans make of you, even more than her own edits.

“that's my baby so stop gawking.(jk)” “whats her @” “id repost but my gf would be jealous, shes hot asf 🤤🤤” “THAT'S MY GIRL” “creamed💔” "straight to the y/n folder" someone said “ellie cant handle allat” and she replied fr “true, she the one handling me 💯💢” SHE HAS NO CHILL...

band!ellie who pays the same attention to potential hate you'd get, she will block them… don't talk about her girl.

nsfw (cw: cunnilingus [e and r!receiving], fingering [e and r!receiving]. switch!ellie!!!!).

band!ellie who treats you like a star

you were supposed to be in the shower but ellie saw you stripping out of your clothes and she has to ask to kiss your clit, dropping to her knees. her fingers bruising your thighs and shes eating you out as if she'd been starving. you cum but she's not satisfied yet, she pulls you down on the bedroom carpet with her "give me another one, please." hands roaming your skin ever so softly, sending shivers down your body. she asks what you want, the position, how many fingers, she just needs to please you. and now she's on top of you, pounding you with her fingers and pressing down your lower stomach because she just wants you to cum again.

band!ellie who loves sleepy sex

she's gonna be in bed with you, almost asleep asking you for kisses, then for some touches... and you end up between her legs, sloppy nasty head and some slow fingering. your lips around her clit and kissing her pussy lips and slit and your fingers in and out her pussy. she's whining and squealing, playing with her own tits and caressing ur face. you're humming against her pussy and she's clenches "let go for me, ellie..." you coo and she squirts on your mouth and fingers. soft pants leaving her lips, soon stopping with her caresses on your face as you lick her cum. you look up, hair messy against the pillow and eyes closed. "i love you..." she mutters after you clean her and lay next to her "i love you." you spoon her.

a/n: this is kinda shitty but it's for who asked for more! @kyleeservopoulos @sameenatruther @harrysslutsstuff