#my toxic male trait is liking gay panic stories

[nytfythfhtyf]

i have no idea how many people are into the show eyewitness by the lady that directed twilight. i havent even watched the whole show. i read a summary of each episode and then watched videos of the parts where the guys are being gay. cannot give a rating for the quality of the show. great resource for boys kissing gifs tho 👍

[silverbastardgoldenfool]

Realm of the Elderlings Ask Meme Thing

Created by @hermitknut and brought back by @elderling-magic

Thanks @blackandwhitemotley for tagging me :) this is gonna be unnecessarily long because I’m a messy bitch with too many feelings and not enough brain cells

Favourite RotE Book: God it’s impossible to choose properly so let’s just go with the one that always gives me flashbacks when I see it on my bookshelf: Golden Fool

Why: I was already deeply obsessed at this point and had laughed, cried and panicked countless times throughout the series BUT Golden Fool stands out because of the Fitz/Fool confrontation which all but gave me a panic attack. Sure, I’ve been overly invested in book characters my whole life but the fact I was like physically fuckin sweating just because these guys were having a verbal fight, which had nothing to do with the actual plot, is fuckin wild my dude. Also despite my distress I was thrilled in a way because I never expected Robin to address the homoerotic tension in the actual text - and I was even more impressed that she makes the Fool the winner in this fight. You feel for him (ouch!!!!!!!!) but he gets the last word and the whole time you’re on his side and wishing Fitz would just keep his goddamn mouth shut (unless he’s gonna use it to kiss the Fool). She makes you empathise with the Fool without compromising his dignity, without making him a pathetic pining gay stereotype. He is hurt, he is human, but Fitz is the fool in this exchange (forgive the unintentional pun). It’s crazy how this one scene defines this whole huge book for me but it overwhelmingly does. Man it fucked me up.

Top Three Favourite Characters: I’m excluding Fitz, the Fool and Nighteyes cos that’s just a given honestly and there are too many incredible characters to choose from. Also I’m going to choose three characters I think are exceptional on a technical level since that’s the easiest way for me to pick a few out.

1. Burrich - Forever fascinating to me because I disagree with him probably more often than not AND YET I love him so much. It’s seriously like I have the same relationship with him that Fitz does - and/or the same relationship many of us have with father figures. That weird thing where you can fundamentally disagree on some pretty important stuff, and he makes a lot of mistakes and probably irrevocably fucked you up in a lot of ways but you can’t help but love him because you know he’s not doing anything from a place of malice or pettiness or selfishness. He simply knows what he believes and is righteous to a fault. He’s always doing his best - whatever that looks like to him. There are so many things he says or does that make me amazed that I don’t hate him. I think in another series he is the kind of character I would hate. The fact that Robin makes me love him - and conflicted about that love - is a marvel.

2. Malta - I won’t harp on about this too much because we all know the deal. Malta’s early POVs were a tween nightmare. I had to skim them because they were so viscerally irritating. I guess it’s a huge testament to the writing that it really did feel like you were stuck in a tween girl’s head; the problem is that is the worst hell imaginable. It’s an even greater testament to the writing that, through some of the most masterful character development I have ever witnessed, you actually end up loving this girl.

3. Kennit - He’s such a monster that I hate actually saying he’s one of my favourite characters but it’s true. Especially from a writing perspective; it’s fucking witchcraft how Robin has you judging everyone around Kennit for falling for his charms even while you are in some way charmed by him. He’s intelligent, charismatic, enigmatic. You know he’s not a good person yet you enjoy spending time with him, you’re kind of rooting for him just because he’s interesting and you want to see what he’s going to do next. You even know - the narration straight up tells you - that most of his successes are down to pure dumb luck yet we still kind of buy into this persona of his. Absolutely brilliant writing. Not to mention his backstory, which is so tragic and compelling, and manages to explain his actions without excusing them. Without a doubt one of my top five favourite villains of all time.

Top Three Least Favourite Characters: Okay so again going for the writing angle; characters I just felt weren’t handled all that well on a technical level. Keep in mind that this is suuuuuper subjective. Also I can only think of two.

1. Molly - I’ve seen a lot of people assume that people who dislike her feel that way because she “gets in the way” of Fitz/Fool but that’s not true for me. I’ll try and keep this shortish because I have way too many feelings about this topic lol. Having read the whole series I wouldn’t change anything, but for a long time I really felt like the story would have been better if she wasn’t in it, or especially if she had not come back after Assassin’s Quest. Maybe that’s harsh, but I honestly just generally dislike the whole “first love, last love” trope (and in my personal experience have found it v toxic). I never found her character particularly engaging, but by the end of Farseer I had made my peace with her role in Fitz’s story; the way I saw it, she represented the life Fitz wanted but could never have. Of course you could argue then that it makes sense for Fitz to get her back once he is allowed to have a window of normal life - and that would be true EXCEPT the whole reason I saw her as a symbol and not a real love interest was because their relationship was TERRIBLE. It was seriously toxic and literally based on lies. I really felt what would have been healthy for Fitz at the end of Tawny Man would have been to find peace in realising that Molly was his past, not his future, and that what they’d had was teenage lust and not the stuff of soulmates. I don’t like the implication that Fitz was right to idealise this tumultuous, dishonest, immature relationship he had as a teenager all these years. Honestly this is why I was FURIOUS when I finished Fool’s Fate lol, even though I knew this wasn’t the ultimate ending. Now that I know where Robin went with this and that Fitz wasn’t really fulfilled in his life with Molly I don’t mind it as much but I still don’t love it. There was never enough of an honest, genuine, selfless connection established between the two of them for it to feel like anything other than an unhealthy fixation that Fitz projected all his unattainable fantasies onto. He never seemed to see Molly as a fully realised person which made it hard for me to do so. Also seriously, if I had been pining after my high school fling for the last ten years everyone would agree that the best thing for me would be to move on, not get back together with them. I’m not saying Fitz didn’t deserve his little bracket of peaceful years, but it just didn’t have to be with Molly. Sometimes not getting what you thought you wanted is the happy ending - I guess it’s just really jarring in a series that’s generally so subversive to get a standard fantasy trope like this. I really truly was shocked when Fitz got his feelings back from the stone dragon and his realisation was not “Molly is kind of just a girl I used to know a long time ago and our paths have long since diverged” but “yes no actually that girl I haven’t talked to in over a decade is my soulmate” like, wig in the worst way. ALSO SHE WAS FUCKING HIS DAD ALL THAT TIME. SHE BORE HIS DAD CHILDREN. HIS DAD HAD TO DIE SO THEY COULD BE TOGETHER. BRUH. Seriously it did feel like Burrich was sacrificed solely so these two little shits could get back together, and again, that was so infuriating and so not like these books. This and Burrich not being canonically in love w Chivalry are the only two points I actually get riled up about from a writing/critical perspective lol, every other flaw and quirk in this series I will absolutely pardon but for some reason these just get to me dude.

2. Starling - Promise this one is simpler lol. I always found Starling quite irritating “as a person” but didn’t mind her as a character. What I didn’t love was the way her lifestyle (promiscuity, independence, nomadic etc.) was kind of justified when it didn’t need to be, with the typical explanation that she’s only like this because she can’t have kids. It just felt really unnecessary, and it was even worse when she did get pregnant and basically just became a completely different person. But I’m generally touchy when it comes to female characters and fertility/pregnancy storylines as I just feel like they’re rarely done well. And I just really don’t like it when infertility is implied as a justification for character traits (usually traditionally male traits) that don’t need justifying.

Favourite Ship (of the floating kind): Paragon of course, we love a problematic fave.

Top Three Favourite Ships (of the people kind): Fitz/Fool, Sedric/Carson, Althea/Brashen (the only heteros whomst deserve rights)

Would you rather be Witted or Skilled: Honestly wouldn’t want either but if I had to choose I guess the Wit? I’d much rather be inside an animal’s head than another human’s no thanks bb

If you were Witted, what animal would you bond with?: If I’m still living in my current situation in this hypothetical then I guess a house cat. If I really get to go wild then I am absolutely bonding with a big cat, like a tiger or a panther IMAGINE THE SNUGGLES.

Would you rather live in the Outislands, the Mountain Kingdom, the Six Duchies, Bingtown, the Rain Wilds, Kelsingra, Jamaillia, the Pirate Isles, or Fool’s Homeland?: Dude I am so bad at visualising locations so idk lol, I guess queer utopia Kelsingra although obviously it has its drawbacks.

How were you introduced to the books? My mum had been telling me for years that if I liked A Song of Ice and Fire I would like Realm of the Elderlings. I was putting it off because there are so many books and I also knew how much she loved them so I was worried I wouldn’t like them and she’d be let down. But I eventually got so close to rereading ASOIAF (which I swore I wouldn’t do til Winds of Winter is released) that I decided to finally give RotE a go in its stead.

Share a quote you love: I don’t have a book on me rn but that part in Fool’s Errand when Fitz is talking about how the Fool has wandered into the place he’s been living for years and immediately, effortlessly made it a home is TENDERNESS BEYOND COMPARE ARE YOU KIDDING.

Tagging: if you see this and haven’t done it yet, consider yourself tagged!

Take the thing, copy and paste it into your own post, tag it “elderlings” and then tag as many people as you can that you know in the fandom.

[whittynovels]

November 9

TW: Abuse, rape

****SPOILER ALERT****

I would give this zero stars if I could. Since I was on the plane when I began reading this, I was unable to snapchat vlog how much I hated it. Therefore, here’s my list of complaints in word format:

• Fallon describes herself as being “obsessive-compulsive” about hygiene. You could just say you find hygiene important instead of belittling an actual mental illness for a hyperbole.

• Homeboy (Ben) eavesdrops on a conversation Fallon has with her father in a restaurant, then when she says she hasn’t had a boyfriend, he SLIPS INTO THE BOOTH NEXT TO HER AND PRETENDS TO BE HER BOYFRIEND? WTF THE FUCK? GO SIT BACK AT YOUR OWN TABLE. STOP TOUCHING HER AND CALLING HER LADYBUG AND BABY. 1-800-DID-NOT-ASK AND WAS NOT INVITED. HOLY SHIT I HATE THIS

• I’m tired of every colleen hoover being about a girl with self-confidence issues. Even worse, in this one, the MC has disfiguring scars, which just worsens the fact that Hoover would exploit trauma and burn victims to establish a character trait.

• LITERALLY THE ENTIRE FIRST CHAPTER IN BEN’S PERSPECTIVE IS TALKING ABOUT HER BOOBS AND WHAT COLOR UNDERWEAR SHE IS WEARING. WHAT THE FUCK???? HOW IS THAT SEXY OR ROMANTIC FOR A GUY TO BE FANTASIZING ABOUT UNDRESSING A GIRL IN HIS HEAD BARELY TWO MINUTES AFTER THEY MEET????? FUCK ME UP I HATE IT

• FURTHERMORE, (I’ll stop using caps now bc I feel like I’m wearing it out but please do bear in mind that I’m furious) he literally says “if we’re just going to sit here and stare at each other, it’d be nice if she were showing a little cleavage, instead of wearing this long-sleeved shirt that leaves everything to the imagination. It’s pushing eighty degrees outside. She should be in something a lot less . . .  convent-inspired” (pg. 24). LITERALLY FUCK YOU WHAT THE FUCK IT’S CHAPTER 2 AND YOU’RE ALREADY DICTATING HOW SHE SHOULD DRESS?????? OH MY FUCKING GOD I WANT TO TEAR THIS BOOK APART

• NOT EVEN THE WORST PART!!! A few paragraphs later he starts looking at her scars and he’s like “Are [her breasts] scarred, too? How much of her body is actually affected?” And I get that it might be a genuine curiosity to see her and wonder how much of her body is affected by the burns, bUT YOU CAN’T JUST ASK SOMEONE THAT OR BLATANTLY FANTASIZE ABOUT UNDRESSING THEM JUST TO SATISFY YOUR CURIOSITY ABOUT THEIR DISEASE OR SCARS!!! I literally don’t understand this. This is absolutely disgusting. “I begin to mentally undress her, and not in a sexual way. I’m just curious. Really curious.” (pg 25). WTTTFFFFF??????!!!!!!!!!! this is so wrongly voyeuristic and completely fetishizes her scars.

• I call bullshit on this book. I know romance is unrealistic because it’s mostly just girls’ wish fulfillment, but a straight, not unattractive guy swooping in to save a girl from a verbally abusive dad, buys her dinner, is a creative writing student, etc.? It doesn’t happen. This doesn’t exist.

• I’ve always gotten subtle homophobic vibes from Hoover’s books, but on page 28 MC says “No gay man I know would have left the house looking like you do right now” and just the outright stereotyping and trying to use that to be funny is just gross. Assuming every single gay man puts fashion on an alter is so stupidly stereotypical and I’m angry about it.

• Ahhh. Page 34. He begins to get all romantic and heavy and saying “want to know what I was thinking about when I saw you for the first time?” and we thought we were going to get a touching story about looking past her scars at her beauty but nope. Full paragraphs talking about her ass and him wondering if she was going commando. The objectification of women in this one is so undeniably and painfully real.

• Ben basically navigates throughout this book doing whatever he wants without asking Fallon’s consent and then basically forcing her to do things because he thinks she’s uncomfortable for no reason. It’s just disgusting that the man’s presence in this book is written so much more naturally and commandeering in this book.

• For instance, there’s this entire scene where Ben wants her to wear this really revealing dress and she doesn’t want to but he keeps pressuring her to and finally Fallon is about to have a panic attack and cry and she’s squeezing her eyes shut because Ben is running his hands along her shirt and unbuttoning it (WHICH DEFINITELY MEANS FUCK OFF SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU TOUCHING HER FUCK YOU BEN FUCK YOU) and he finally takes off her shirt and looks her over and it’s so fucking uncomfortable and nonconsensual and totally inappropriate having only met a few hours ago then he taKES OFF HER PANTS AND DOES THE SAME THEN TELLS HER TO LIFT HER ARMS AND PHYSICALLY PUTS THE DRESS ON FOR HER and I just wanted her to literally slice him in half like I’m so done with him. He is the opposite of romantic and if I were to ever encounter him in person I would literally stomp him like a roach. Literally. Fight me colleen hoover and your shitty-ass books too.

• May I just say that when he was telling her what dress to wear, he literally said “I’m paying for dinner, so I get to choose what I stare at while we eat.” Is that not a characteristic of an abusive boyfriend to be so controlling to force her to wear what he wants her to wear? And they’ve only been “friends” for 3 hours?

• Ben literally tells her, 3 hours into their friendship, I quote, “It’s your own fault people feel uncomfortable looking at you.” I can’t even make this shit up. He tells her it’s her fault that she has burn scars, that they make her feel self-conscious, and the reaction people have to them. If I didn’t already hate this character so much I would actually tear him to shreds with my bare hands.

• You wanna know what the male gaze is? It’s a male supposed-love interest saying shit like “There’s just enough showing at her neckline to keep me good and happy.” Because women, their boobs, and their lowcut shirts exist to make men “good and happy.” Barf. Gag. Vomit.

• HE LITERALLY FUCKING SAID TO HER, “ . . . you could very well be as dumb as a rock. But at least you’re pretty” (pg. 57). LITERALLY WAY TO FUCKING OBJECTIFY A WOMAN TO REDUCE HER TO HAVING NO CAPACITY FOR INTELLIGENCE AT ALL, AS LONG AS SHE’S WEARING A LOWCUT SHIRT. FUCK YOU COLLEEN HOOVER.

• There’s this scene where he’s running his hands along her scars. He asks, “is this okay?” asking for consent. Great. Awesome. But she responds “I don’t know.” And he fuCKING KEEPS GOING. NOPE. YOU RUINED IT. GOODBYE. I’M NOT EVEN SURPRISED SHE’S DESCRIBED AS HAVING TEARS IN HER EYES THE NEXT PAGE. BECAUSE YOU FUCKING KEPT GOING WHEN SHE DIDN’T CONSENT TO BEING TOUCHED MORE.

• They start outlining rules for what to do between the time that they’ll see each other again and whereas fallon’s are things like “read these books and have fun,” ben’s is literally, “go on dates. You don’t have enough experience for girls of your age.” Like, great. That makes me feel really good about myself. Great job.

• She eventually reveals that her left breast was disfigured from the fire and literally in the next line of dialogue ben is like LET ME SEE IT I NEED TO SEE IT CONSIDER IT RESEARCH I WANT TO KNOW. Like in what the fuck world is that acceptable? It’s her number one insecurity and he’s such an entitled asshole that he’s like “uhhuh cool but let me see it. Because I’m curious.” Fuck you ben. And fuck hoover for exploiting women like that.

• Every sexual advance after that wasn’t because “you’re beautiful I love you,” it was, “let me take off your clothes so I can see the scars you keep trying to hide.” So disgusting.

• I think the saddest thing is Fallon never stops Ben from doing anything. She continually complies, even if it causes her to have tears in her eyes, shakiness, etc. She has so much internalized misogyny that she allows men to control her and tell her what to do and she contributes it to the alpha male personality in the romance books she reads. I’m so, so upset for her that she can’t stick up for herself, and Ben disguises his exploitative, disgusting, and toxic obsession with her scars and undressing her as concern and love.

• They were talking about their favorite foods. Ben said Pad Thai. Fallon said Sushi. “they’re almost the same thing . . . [because t]hey’re both Asian food” (pg 121) lmao okay…………..

• Fuck the Tate and Miles cameo. I fucking hate Miles.

• “I step forward and shut her up with my mouth” lollolololol I hate this. I fucking hate this. Let her speak. Stay in your own fucking lane. You don’t dictate when she needs to shut up, especially kissing her forcibly to make her stop talking.

• “He kisses me with entitlement” is a real fucking line in the book. It literally just proved my point. Ben thinks he’s so entitled to her body. This is actually a perfect summary of any CoHo book you’ll read. Such arrogant, ridiculous, entitled men.

• After she loses her virginity to him, she literally describes it as she “lost a part of [her]self to the person inside [her] . . . as if the second [they] joined together, a tiny piece of [their] souls got confused and a piece of his fell into [her] and a piece of [hers] fell into him.” IS THIS NOT THE EXACT WORDING OF ABSINTANCE-ONLY SEX ED??? TELLING GIRLS THAT THEY ARE POLLUTING THEMSELVES AND GIVING AWAY PARTS OF THEMSELVES TO MEN WHEN THEY  LOSE THEIR VIRGINITY????? VIRGINITY IS A CONSTRUCT. YOU AREN’T LOSING ANYTHING. YOU ARE AN INDIVIDUAL PERSON EVEN AFTER SEX. OH MY GOD THIS BOOK IS UNBEARABLE PLEASE MAKE IT END.

• fuCKING GUESS WHAT IT GOT WORSE

• the next morning she was like “I gotta go” and he literally said, I quote, “I’ve never wanted to use physical force on a girl before, but I want to push her to the ground and hold her there until the cab drives away.” He literally threatens physical violence on her. BUT SO CUTE AND RELATABLE!!!! AM I RIGHT???!!!!!

• He actually gets pissed when she refuses to let him move in with her and exchange numbers. Like cry me a river, fuckboy.

• This book is just so outright woman hating. Ben has such frail masculininty. He was like “Fallon said she hates insta-love, but apparently she hates semi-instant love and slow love and love at a snail’s pace and love in general.” Like way to villainize a woman because she wants the best for you???? Horny motherfucker, go take a nap.

• At this point I stopped taking notes because shit was happening every paragraph but here’s the rest of what I remember

• SEVERAL times in this book, Fallon tells Ben “I need to leave” and he either grabs her, stands in front of the door, or otherwise blocks her exit. That’s extremely controlling and nasty.

• At one point she tries to drive away from him but he grabs her keys out of her hand and walks to his own car, forcing her to scream after him and follow him to get them back. He walks all over her life and calls it “alpha male” romance.

• Near the end of the book Fallon’s out on a date with another guy and he shows up and is super manipulative pretending like he’s interviewing them for an article or some shit, but he’s actually just creeping on the guy she’s with because he hates how she’s moved on from him. That’s so controlling and disgusting? Literally leave her alone, she’s with another man? What the fuck? Grow up?

• During this same scene, Fallon is drunk at the bar and Ben takes her, drags her down a hallway, corners her there, demands to know who he is, and Fallon laughs. Hoover continually normalizes and REWARDS this behavior by making the main female character perceive it as humor or protectiveness.

• At one point she tells him “I need to get back to my date” and it literally says that he “lean[s] closer and sandwich[es] her against the wall,” then he says, “Don’t be like that . . . I’ve been through hell today trying to find you.” OH, OKAY, SO YOU STALKED HER, CORNERED HER, AND NOW YOU FEEL ENTITLED TO AN EXPLANATION? ENTITLED FOR HER TO LEAVE HER CURRENT DATE FOR YOU?  I hate this man. Fuck his privilege and entitlement.

• At this point I’ve yelled so much.  I’m going to try and stay calm for this one because it’s the most serious one. While they are in a bar together—Fallon drunk, Ben sober—he pulls her into a storage closet and they begin making out. Ben initiates this. Fallon is hesitant but complies. He starts touching her, and clear as day, she tells him “Stop, . . . [her] voice louder than it’s been all night.” This is an absolute, loud, clear indication that she does not want to proceed. But what does Ben do? His hands continue to “graze the edge of [her] panties” and he whispers—he fucking whispers to her face—“I’m trying. Ask me again.” He didn’t stop. He. Didn’t. Stop. THIS IS RAPE CULTURE. I TOLD MYSELF I WOULDN’T USE CAPS BUT IN A COLLEEN HOOVER BOOK THAT HAS A 4.45 RATING ON GOODREADS, THE MAIN CHARACTER TOLD THE LOVE INTEREST TO STOP DURING A HEAVY ROMANCE SCENE AND HE CONTINUED TO SHOVE HIS HAND UP HER SKIRT WHILE SAYING, “ASK AGAIN.” (UPDATE 2/18/17: Hoover is editing this out of the book. https://www.facebook.com/AuthorColleenHoover/videos/1585344338145828/)

• At this point in the book, I was done. Then the plot twist occurred.

• The plot twist just secured this book’s place in hell for me. Ben was manipulative. Ben lied. Ben was voyeuristic, trying to see her scars because HE. CAUSED. THEM. This isn’t cute. This isn’t romance. This is a drunk driver running a red light and hitting another car, nearly killing a passenger, and then stalking, abusing, and preying on the passenger who now bears scars because of his reckless behavior. Behavior that she. Forgives. Him. For. And Hoover subsequently normalizes by publishing this book. By publishing this book, Hoover has said, ��it is okay to allow men to get away with this behavior if he loves you. If it was an accident. If he had good intentions. If he’s angsty. If it was meant to be.” FUCK this book honestly.

• Fallon’s father, who at the beginning of the book told her “you’re too ugly for broadway, no one will hire you, your career is over, boys don’t love you, etc.” is posed as “misunderstood” and someone who doesn’t know how to communicate. HE RECEIVES FORGIVENESS. FOR THE DESPICABLE WORDS HE SAID TO HER AT THE BEGINNING, HE RECEIVES FORGIVENESS AND AN EXCUSE.

• I have to stop this, otherwise my head is going to explode. I’m not shaming anyone who likes this book, but I can’t believe it has escaped notice of so many people. I can’t believe I’m the only person who’s livid.

This is the end of my support for Colleen Hoover. Her books aren’t going to half price books, they’re going in the trash.