#���men don't care about that so you might as well not even view yourself as unique or different from other women”

[satoriberry]

tha terf paradox of promoting acceptance of oneself's biological nature and not changing it for societal ideologies but then turning around and criticizing any person that has a different perception of their biological nature that doesn't immediately enter the "male or female" binary hmmm,,,,

[thedivinetarot]

He said to be cool and I know he means it

How do you view men?

☆ How to chose the perfect pile for you?

1) Close your eyes.

2) Clear your mind

3) Take a deep breathe.

4) Ask the question in your head and the picture you are drawn to the most is your pile.

☆ Note:

- First thing is Thank you guys for 100 follower. I'm so happy that our family is growing fast. I'm also grateful that such a wonderful souls are following me here on tumblr, may God bless you❤.

- In this reading we are going to dig into your deep subconscious mind on your views of men.

- This reading is going to help you at where you stand in your opinions and views towards men.

- Also it will help you discover the hidden parts of your subconscious mind and your behavior towards men.

- This is a general reading so take what resonates and leave the rest.

- Pile three can be triggering for some, so if you are not comfortable reading it then don't.

- This reading can't substitute any psychiatrist help. So if you have a problem you can ask for a professional help.

Stay safe ❤

Arya

☆ This reading well be divided into three questions:

1) Your past relationships with men.

2) Your subconscious beliefs about them.

3) How does all of that affect you currently?

Pile 1 - Walking Sylvia

Your past relationships with men:

I see that this pile held into a connection that was not meant for them. I see you getting attached to someone you thought it was your soulmate or twin flame but it wasn't really the one. I see also that you kept persistent and stubborn especially in front of others. It is like you bet with your friends or people around you that he is the one but everyone know that he is not. If this is not the case I see that you were dating or in a relationship with someone who is considered a safe option but wasn't really that good for you as a person. You might have your planets square their planets in synastry chart. I see that your first role models (Your caregivers or parents) wasn't really that good either. They might stayed together but they clearly should've been divorced too long ago. I see that you hated the dynamic between them and you always wondered if you'll get the same or not. And now you look back at the men you dated and feel cringe? I don't know pile one. Maybe you feel nostalgic to the feeling but not the person. I see that you are someone who prefers predictability over getting out of your comfort zone. So, you might dated multiple "safe options" to not get triggered by the new or unpredictable people. You might even rejected the idea of traditional role in the relationships, like the dom-sub or feminine-masculine or the men who provide financially. You also might dated people who have 50/50 mindset or feminine boys. Or boys/men who are not considered attractive but they were a safe option for you.

Your subconscious beliefs about men:

Ooh pile one, I think your subconscious belief about men is that they are a disappointment. I see that you might have a male caregiver who didn't make you feel safe enough to be in your feminine energy. This caregiver might made you feel like you are not enough; physically, mentally, or in general. This man made you feel worthless and no one would really care for you. So, you grew up trying to earn this attention by being hyper vigilant in your relationships with men. You might give and give too much even for the options that is considered "safe". And you might overthink everything you do or say around men. You might say "Damn why did I say that!" Alot Or "Do I look ugly or deformed for him" because he didn't look at you, after each interaction. And if not, some people in this group wore an iron mask in front of men. You wouldn't show emotions or any expression around them. But deep inside you are a little girl screaming and crying. People in this group might have self worth problems. You might overdo your make up, overdress yourself etc. This subconscious belief kept you stuck in the same old patterns and made you superman in the relationship with men. As I said before; you might got mad or angry at the traditional roles of the male and female relationships. And tried to be the initiative person in most interactions you had with men. Another subconscious belief is you'll be miserable alone? Pile one loneliness is something normal in this generation, everyone feels lonely but please don't let this loneliness affect your relationships. Don't go for good guys or "safe options" if you feel like they are no good for you.

How does all of that affect you currently?

So, all of this affect you currently by isolating you from romantic interactions. You might be someone who has been alone for too long. I see that you took this period of loneliness as a reflection period and reevaluated your old relationships. Like right now you are discovering what you truly value and want in romantic relationships. I see that this period of isolation and loneliness is slowly going to be over. I'm not seeing any romantic offers coming to you, but definitely I'm seeing you are slowly putting yourself out there. I also see that you are working hard and being persistent with yourself. You might just moved out from your parents house or wanting to settle down on your own or wanting to live in another place or change your location. I see you now being more in your feminine energy. You might have rejected that idea before but now you are slowly accepting the fact that you are good on your own but a good company won't hurt. You might be putting yourself out there, and getting to know people with no strings attached. I see that you are enjoying yourself truly and feeling calm and collected more than before. You might started to realize that you need to be more assertive of your current life. You might be someone who say "I'm the master of my own fate now". So, yeah you might also realized that your life needs you more than you need anyone.

Pile 2 - Sylvia laying on the towel

Your past relationships with men:

I see that this piles collective are mostly happily married women or new bride. I see that you either got married to the love of your life and feeling so happy and excited to spend the rest of your life with them or you have a happy marriage and a loving spouse in general. I see that you also might be pregnant with a baby girl and this girl will have water placements? (Pisces, cancer or scorpio). Anyways this pile’s energy towards men is so reassuring honestly. I don't really see that you have a bad relationships with men. You might be someone who is considered beautiful or pretty by social standards so any man who dated you wished that he could marry you right away. I see that you have a traditional relationship with men. You might be someone who date for marriage and if not then you might date for potential rather than money. Or you might want to start dating for marriage. I see that men always crush on you and they feel this urge to protect you and make you happy. I see that you are the type that make any man want marriage and other stuff. Like if a player met you and got the chance to know you, he might suddenly want to marry and have kids right away. You have this energy of "I'm the perfect wife". You might be a great option for men who want to settle down. They see the potential in you, the kids, the home you'll make. I guess this pile didn't really face bad things regard dating or perhaps most people in this pile are already married to their twin flame or soulmate. I see a lot of love and happiness (I'm so happy for you guys🥺).

Your subconscious belief about men:

This pile is a complete sweetheart to be honest. I see that you see men as great leaders and as someone who is going to guide you through your life. You might have a lot of taurus or libra placements or just your feminine energy is quite balanced. Also I feel that your sacral chakra is balanced or a little hyperactive? You might really care about men's pepe size? Omg pile two I feel turned on for no reason, do you perhaps fantasize about sex a lot? You might view sex as something sacred or extremely important for your well being. You might feel or like the sex between you and your partner a lot. I don't know why I got into all of these sexual stuff all of sudden. But I feel like subconsciously you might view men as sexually satisfying? You might had a great sexual companions or you just like that in general. I also see that you like assertive and wise men, men with a great vision of the future. Sex and men is something important in pile two's life. You might have the lover archetype? You can search that btw. But generally your subconscious thoughts about men are good I don't really see something bad, perhaps there's a thing but it is not considered bad. You might get attached to your partner? Perhaps, you might get a little obsessed with your partner. Not too much just a little. Or you like depending on them a lot. There's nothing wrong with being dependent but don't let that affect you whole being.

How does all of that affect you currently?

Okay, so I do see that this pile is very dedicated to their partner. I see that you might be someone who always keep in check of their partner's needs and wants. You also work simultaneously on making their partner satisfied and happy. I also see a very confident energy from you pile 2. You may be very confident in who you are, you may not be just beautiful but also with good personality. I see that you are nurturing and sweet when it comes to your family and partner. You make them feel comfortable and appreciated. I see that your spouse or partner feel on cloud 9 with you. They feel grateful for meeting you and keeping you in their life. I also see that you are someone who cares a lot for children. You take extra mile to help them and make them feel seen and heard. You might also have the mother archetype as a secondary function within your personality (search for the archetype if you don't know them). I see that unlike some people you chose you partners wisely and above all you stick for them through thick and thin. You are a marriage material pile two, may happiness always stay on your side.

Pile 3 - Sylvia on the beach

Past relationships with men:

Pile three I see that you are obsessed with manifesting your SP? Or you might try to manifest someone back into your life? I see you trying to manifest either an Ex or or someone whom your relationship with wasn't good for you but you thought it was so good. I pulled a confirmation card and and yes; you and this person might have distance between you two. Okay in this pile I am picking up on three energies, the first one talk about manifesting an Ex back. The second is manifesting someone with a specific traits and the third energy is for LGBTQ? I think some people in this pile kinda prefer women. I see that this pile have dated both gender or you were in a marriage with a man but it turned out to be so stressful for you, I also see that this pile might have realized that they prefer another gender? Like you might be someone who has been dating men for ages but then you crushed on a woman and now you are dating. I honestly see that scenario too, another scenario is that this pile didn't really get along with people from the opposite gender so you grow up liking women (the same gender as you) or even becoming a lesbian? I understand pile three (men are stressful). You might be a fire sign (Aries, Leo and sagittarius) or Air sign (Gemini, Libra and Aquarius), or you have those placements in your chart. I see also a strong Gemini energy too so you might be someone who is bisexual or gay in general. Or someone who really doesn't care about dating any kind of gender. I don't know why this came in so strongly. But feel free to take what resonates okay pile three?.

Your subconscious beliefs about men:

Woah, the cards kept jumping like crazy. This pile’s energy is so strong. Anyways I see that you have many toxic subconscious belief about men pile three. You think that men are a pure disappointment and that you need to keep your relationship with them as professional as possible. I think people in this pile might work in a field that requires them to always interact with men and if not. You might work in a teaching field or you might be a teacher yourself. I see that you have fantasized about weddings and wearing the perfect white dress but not to a man. You might like the idea of marriage but not marriage itself. I also see that some of your parents weren't really in a good marriage (financially) so you grow up in poverty or poor. I see that men aren't really interesting in your own lens pile three. I see also that you might be afraid to get in a relationship with a man because you are scared of getting used and left out. This pile seriously need to heal from abandonment wound, ooh I get it now! You might be someone who got abandoned by their male caregiver? I see that you might never met your real father or your father have left you in the dark so you grow up poor and fatherless (I'm so sorry pile three, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings). I see also that you might fear men deep down and fear being vulnerable with them? So you chose women as romantic interest (there’s nothing wrong with that). Anyways, you might have developed a close relationship with female friends and caregiver in general. So, you grew up rejecting men and not truly liking them. The moral story for this pile is to heal your abandonment wound and forgive yourself pile three, I'm getting this image of a girl doing destructive behaviors so she can never feel the pain of abandonment inside.

How does all of that affect you currently?

I see that you guys have a very unrealistic expectations from others and your own self. Even in the same gender relationship, you might be putting your standards so high that no one really can meet them. So, people might have called you picky with whom you date. This is funny idk where it came from but I think men called you a gold-digger because you have standards pile three (I respect that sm). I see that you enter a relationship with high expectations; at first both parties (you and your partner) at some point were able to meet them but then boom, you break up because you both have different views and well, expectations. I see that this pile can literally move on in a blink of an eye. You guys have a very chaotic energy, that's what I'm feeling. Also you might be a serial dater? Or you might be someone who is generous with giving or don't give at all but I see it is coming from you pile three especially in the money matter. You might be a little immature in the heart matter. I see that you might always get disappointed with how things are in your romantic relationships. I'm picking up on someone who's on a roller-coaster emotionally. I think you guys need to reflect and on your values and learn the lessons from your previous relationships, because it is literally causing you a lot of destruction in your life. Try to get in the hermit mode for a couple of months, try solo dating, reflect on your own values and what you truly want and appreciate in a partner and one day you'll be able to see the light coming in and you'll definitely find someone who will make you happy. And if not you have yourself, and as the wizard Liz said "You have you, you’ll never leave you" and I think it is beautiful. Try to watch her videos on YT she is a gem❤. God bless you pile three, take care of yourself.

Pile 4 - Sylvia Smiling

Your past relationship with men:

Okaaayyy, so I do think this pile are my lone wolf pile. This pile’s energy is soooo detached, especially from reality. I see that you haven't really had any real or physical connection to men. You might be a virgin because I feel like you never truly got engaged sexually with men before. You might be single since birth and the only interaction you had with men was a faraway crush, you don't care about real men, you are the girl who crush on fictional characters. I see that you are in your head most of the time. You fantasize about fictional men and /or your crush. You might be someone who is too shy to date or even have a romantic connection with someone even if they are interested. This pile gives off the damsel in distress vibe. Want to be saved by her fictional man rather than real one. You have a strong personality pile 4, you might be so independent in real life but when it comes to your imagination? Holy moly, you are so in love with fictional men and you want to be saved by them. I'm hearing "A man that do not exist", And if you are not like that you might be limerent on someone, yes, you might be a virgin and never dated but you had a crush on someone and it grew into limerence. Because I see that you are detached from the situation but in your head you are living and breathing this fantasy. Perhaps if you suspect having limerence you can read about it because it is not a crush. Crushes are short termed but limerence can take years to wear off. You might be even hesitant to talk to that person and if you do I don't think much really happen between you two. You are giving me the vibe of that one movie of Audry Hepburn, the movies name was Sabrina you can watch it if you want. It literally describes you perfectly. You might be also so sophisticated and diplomatic with males in general.

Your subconscious beliefs about men:

It is not about men, more about you pile 4. As I said above, you are very independent and detached. You do your own thing and you live the way you want. I see that this pile doesn't really like the idea of committing to something, you are free spirited and genuine. You might have the wild woman archetype, so genuine and raw. I see that the beliefs you are holding into are 1) I need to be constantly working on myself. And 2) I need to be independent so no one can control me. I see a very sweet energy but bold at the same time. Maybe like pile three you might have abandonment wound, especially from your father. He were there and not there at the same time. He might be dry with you emotionally, I see that he was there physically and financially but emotionally? Alas. He might made you feel rejected or left out in the cold; so, as a coping mechanism you started maladiptive daydreaming to escape the pain. This pile need to do shadow work tbh (you can search shadow work prompt on pinterest if you want to). I see you escaping to your own little fantasy world to not feel the pain of abandonment, healing is required to be able to form strong bond with men. And above all, realistic relationships with them. This pile is not destructive at all unlike pile three; their energy was so destructive, like they are dumping out all their trauma on constant dating and other destructive methods. I see this pile is very creative, you might be INFP,ISFP, INFJ, ISFJ and very small group are ENFJ. I am seeing creative with sharp tongue. You might be honest too. I see that you are an earth sign (Virgo, Taurus or Capricorn) or have those placements, some of you may be an aquarius too.

How does all of that affect you currently?

I got you pile four, you may lie about your marital status? Like if someone approached you because they like you, I see that you'll lie to them about being taken. You might tell those men that you are in a relationship? I see you using this method so you can run away from unwanted attention. You might not like the attention of the men who approach you in general. I see that some people in this group are constantly manifesting their future spouse, and you are waiting for him to materialize in you 3D? And if not then I see you being so intuitive about who you are going to marry. This pile is witchy; You may be a witch or a tarot reader and you know who your future spouse is. I see that you are waiting for them to be in your life. This pile are so in their head, like in reality they are so detached, closed off and passive. But behind the scenes you guys are constantly manifesting your spouse or a specific person to marry you. I see some of you have already lost faith in manifesting that person and others quit that too long ago, because nothing really happen. I see that you are working on yourself (self care, workout, etc). And focusing on your own thing (studying, going to school/college, working your 9-5 shift). But mentally you are imagining many scenarios on how you'll meet them and how they are going to be like (future spouse or SP). I see that many people in this pile are young like literally under 28 years old or even under 30. Guys I see that you might get the person you want but you do really need to get out of your comfort zone. And embrace change, I see that many of you are either introverts or have passive personalities in general. You might not have many friends or a very tight social circle. You need to face reality and be more assertive of what you want in relationships pile four.

Thank you for reading, take care❤.

Post date: 28th/Aug/2024-Wed

*Feedback is appreciated

[green-tea-in-absinthe-bottle]

Million dollar man

How does your life by his side look like?

General masterlist

Being Aventurine's "Lucky Charm🍀" includes:

🎰 Always staying by his side. If he has to attend business meetings you sit next to him, when he goes to parties with his coworkers you are his plus one, during his gambling sessions you sit on his lap and cheer on him. He is never seen without you.

🎰 If he finds himself in tough situation, Aventurine holds your hand for good luck. It calms him down rather than giving him additional luck (he doesn't care, he has plenty of it already) but it doesn't stop him from calling you his Ladybug, Shooting star or Goldfish. Usually he shortens it to Goldie. He kisses your hand before making his move in games, makes you blow on dice before throwing it or allows you to pick which numbers you bet on.

🎰 Aventurine shares his monetary gains with you with no restrains. "Don't worry about anything, just spend" - that's what he says, letting you know the tab is on him. He is happy to finally be able to take care of those dear to him after being so powerless for years. Providing for you, keeping you safe and well fed makes him feel like he does a good job as a man.

🎰 You are always dressed in the most expensive clothes, not even the ones from high-end fashion brands, he wouldn't like you to accidentally match outfits with any other woman in the room. All your dresses are made for you exclusively, tailored by best fashion designers from the most delicate fabrics.

Your jewelry matches his, gold with aventurine stones. There is one necklace you never take off, golden peacock feather with green stone in place of it's eye. Aventurine gave it to you as a reminder, so you never forget you belong with him.

🎰 He shows you off on every occasion, posts you on social media and proudly introduces you to his work colleagues. Because of that you sometimes assume that he invest so much into your looks, cosmetics and clothes just because he wants to flaunt his wealth, but this couldn't be further from truth. While he enjoyed jealous looks from another men he pampered you solely for his own viewing pleasure. He would never choose a woman based on what others think about how his partner should look like, if he keeps you by his side it's because you're exactly his type and not because he thinks you would make him look more expensive in other people's eyes.

🎰 He makes you count his money while you sit on his lap. Of course there's too much for you to reckon, stacks of coins in front of you seemed to only grow. Aventurine adores that concentrated expression on your face, the way you lick your lips with the tip of your tongue and scrunch your nose. He loves how you switch from common language to your native one when you count, especially if you have regional accent, and he just sometimes needs to hear your voice. You speak in steady, slow rhythm, quietly mouthing numbers and his heartbeat slows down to match that pace. Aventurine finds it meditative.

🎰 He's afraid that you aren't aware of how precious you are to him. He knows it's very hard for him to be vulnerable after years of being abused and constantly keeping his guard up, so he might seem emotionally detached even with all the money he throws at you and physical affection he baths you in.

The last thing he wants is you thinking you're just a pretty little thing attached to his arm like an ornament. So he tries to show you his love without confessing it directly. He shields you with his own body during fights, he makes time for you no matter how busy he is, he remembers every little detail about you from your favourite food to the size of your shoe, listens attentively to everything you say and frequently does little acts of service.

He ties you shoelaces if you struggle with it in hurry, gives you his jacket when it gets cold, reminds you to hydrate yourself, scolds you if you skip a meal and takes care of every problem before you even mention it to him. His beautiful, unique eyes always find you and watch over you, under his protective gaze nothing will be allowed to harm you.

[zzprompto]

☆ he loves me, he loves me not [part one]

gojo satoru x male reader [he / him]

sypnosis: you love gojo as more than a friend, but he loves geto - not you, and its almost as if he rubs it in your face all the time. (meant to be viewed as platonic / unrequited love)

the lowercase is intentional !

[part two]

you met gojo when you first joined jujutsu high. you immediately fell for him. it was love at first sight, as cliche as it might sound. you fell for the fact that he was strong, charming and insanely attractive. he was basically perfect in your eyes.

[name] and gojo weren't really close however. you always tried to talk with him or you would try and become his friend, but he didn't seem that interested. he always came up with excuses. "oh sorry i have a mission to go on" or "i have to train" or the worst excuse, "sorry, geto's calling me."

at first, whenever gojo mentioned geto, you didn't care. you knew they were best friends, and it's normal for best friends to hang out with eachother all the time. or, well, most of the time.

however, as time went on, you started to feel something bubble up inside you whenever gojo mentioned his 'best friend'. it was a mixture of sadness, anger, hatred and something else towards geto. you couldn't really tell what the last thing was. you hadn't felt it before.

"yo, gojo! do you wanna go watch a movie?" you ask, a bright smile on your face as you walk up to the white haired male. he shook his head with a pout forming on his lips. "i'm sorry, [name]. i'm going to hang out with suguru." there it was again, the same feeling bubbling up in your stomach. "right.." you sighed, a dejected look on your face. the fact that he even called geto by his first name caused a pain to go through your heart. it was as if he was doing this on purpose, as if he knew your true feelings towards him.

something along the lines of that conversation would happen 9/10 times you tried to hang out with gojo. if gojo did end up hanging out with you, he'd talk about geto a lot. you understood that they were best friends, but surely they don't talk about eachother all the time? then.. that's when he told you the truth.

"[name], can i talk to you real quick?" gojo asked, a small blush on his cheeks. you nodded and hoped he'd tell you that he liked you. but, alas, you were wrong. so, so wrong.

"so.. i really like suguru.. but i don't know how to tell him! i don't know if he's interested in me, or even men for that matter of fact." gojo shook his head, deep in thought. the hope you had all shattered. your smile dropped and it turned into a slight frown. "i.. i think you should just tell him." you whisper, looking down at the floor. you couldn't meet gojo's blue eyes. "i mean, by the looks of it, he's probably into you too."

you couldn't blame gojo. you couldn't blame geto. you could only blame yourself for falling for gojo. you fell for his strength, his charm and his good looks when there was doubt in your mind. you knew this was how it was going to end. you knew gojo was going to end up with geto sooner or later.

"right! thanks a lot, [name]. i knew i could count on you." gojo beamed, ruffling your hair before walking away from you. his touch brought you out of your thoughts. you looked down at the floor again.

"i guess he doesn't love me back.." you sighed to yourself as you turned to see gojo walk away, presumably to geto.

☆ author's note: check out my requests page! can't wait for next weeks episode of jjk.

[buckgasms]

Soooo what do you think Daddy!Bucky would do if Princess was misbehaving out in public…. what about maybe in front of their friends?? I need your FILTHY THOTS!!!

Misbehaving????? In Public???? Princess???

👆this is the reaction

It's tricky because Princess is quite shy in public, and doesn't like lots of people around, but there's always opportunities to be naughty when you put your mind to it. Let's say you're at a party, some of Bucky's close friends are there, lots of other people you don't know too.

I think first would come a warning. A whisper in the ear, a squeeze of your wrist or waist. "Careful Princess, you're pushing it now..."

Then a glare. You might be dragged away and told to stand in the corner. It's subtle but the tinges of humiliation come up and make you giddy.

But maybe you get distracted (or Daddy does) and you wander off, only to be found nibbling on a canapé instead of your assigned corner.

"Coulda sworn I left you over there?" He grabs your wrist as you try to flee back. "Oh no no princess, don't even try it." He pulls you away from the buffet and you squeak out an apology which falls on deaf ears.

"Panties. Now" he states, loud enough for the little group nearby to hear. You feel dizzy with the heat emanating from your face but when you see he isn't playing around you shimmy them off and hand them to him as quick as possible. You watch as he inspects them, a damp patch betraying your arousal.

"You getting off on being a brat hmm? Turn you on to get punished and told off?" He says, pinching your chin and kissing you in possessive pecks. You only stutter and mumble as he kisses you more.

He gives a little wave to someone's and suddenly you are surrounded by Bucky, Steve, Natasha and Sam who tower over you. You're totally blocked from anyone else's view, but you're not alone by any means.

"What's going on? Something wrong with our pretty Printessa?" Natasha says sternly as she glares around the party, daring anyone to fuck with you. Bucky chuckles and holds up your underwear. "Yeah actually, misbehaving and horny..."

Steve chuckles and rolls his eyes at Bucky. "Oh poor you, what a tragedy this must be!" You giggle, immediately regretting it from the look Daddy gives you. "Despite her behaviour today, Princess has rules. Being a little horny slut, teasing her daddy ain't one of them."

The three of them hummed in agreement, and you bow your head in shame. No one ever took your side when you misbehaved. It was so unfair. "Well what needs to happen to make it right then? Cos princess is too pretty to be in trouble tonight Buck..." Sam said whilst squeezing your arm, and you smiled at him.

Daddy turned you around and held you against his chest so you were now face to face with his top circle. "If Princess wants to show off and make an exhibition of herself..." As he spoke he lifted the skirt of your dress and exposed you to them, "then that's what she'll be..."

They two men took the skirt from Bucky's hands and the cool air hit your pussy, a soft whine leaving your lips. Natasha hummed in approval and moved her hand over, rubbing at your pussy, squeezing and spreading you open. "So soft" she muttered before guiding your own hand down to carry on.

"Daddyyyy" you whimper but he tuts, in fact they all do and he squeezes at your breasts. "Babygirl, we're at a party. And people are going to wanna talk to me. And if they come up to me before you come, I will let them stay for the show. So the sooner you start, the less chance you got of being spotted."

You whine but lean your head back as you start to slowly circle your fingers, swirling gathering wetness over yourself. Natasha curses something in Russian as Steve and Sam adjust there view and make similar noises of approval.

"You putting on a pretty show for them babygirl? Showing what a pretty little slut you are hmm?" You nod and moan as quiet as you can, slipping a finger into your aching hole, finding hungry eyes wherever you look. Bucky slips a finger in your mouth and you suck greedily, happy to have something to muffle your noises.

"This is a punishment?" Natasha asks incredulously, her fingers unable to resist your soft, sensitive folds. You moan again, louder around his fingers as she teases you. "I'd have her red raw and begging for forgiveness, not coming around her fingers.."

Bucky chuckled at her. "I know, I'm too soft on my Princess, but her ass will be glowing by the morning and she won't be doing this again will you baby?" You whine around his fingers and choke as he sinks them deeper down your throat, walls clenching around your fingers as you teeter on the edge of bliss. Your legs shut with the pressure but Steve and Sam are on you, hooking their hand around each thigh and opening you up to Natasha's hands.

"Come baby, come for us. Show us what a dirty girl you are..."

It's enough to send your head back into Bucky's shoulder, gripping his arms as he holds your still. Your release is rubbed over your pussy and thighs, and you shiver a little until they let you go and release you back into Bucky's embrace.

"Good girl" he praises, pressing a kiss to your face, smiling as you moan for more. Natasha takes your hair and strokes it, pulling it into a ponytail and pulling gently as she leans her head on your shoulder and pressed a little kiss behind your ear.

"Why don't you show us how you thank your daddy for being so kind to you?"

You giggle and sink to your knees, feeling like the naughtiest, luckiest princess in the world...

[general-nerdy]

Jesse Cromeans/Chromeskull NSFW Alphabet

I had a lot of fun getting these all down, and thank @sinfulwrites for being my editor haha! Go read her Asa NSFW alphabet. It's fantastic!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Jesse couldn't care less about your comfort if you're laying in one of his coffins. He relishes in your discomfort. His camera gets a fantastic view of the tears streaming down your face, and your soiled body is a work of art. He'll go back and watch the footage again to see you squirm.

When you are someone he is closer to, Jesse is more of a gentleman. You are held in his massive tattooed arms, though you will be subjected to waggling eyebrows and suggestive, teasing messages about your time together. When you regain some energy you are free to use his elaborate bathroom, his multifunctional bidet and huge walk-in shower making it more than a pleasure to clean yourself. He will follow you in and watch. 

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He's not picky. Jesse can admire every part of you, though he has a weakness for thighs. Your face however is something he will watch intently. He loves to watch your expressions change through it all. 

Jesse loves every part of himself. He's great and he knows it. You don't need to tell him. 

After his incident at the market, he's much more sensitive about his face. But he took it like a champ after some therapeutic mental breakdowns and property damage. It's okay, he can pay to replace the mirror. 

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Jesse has a bad habit of cumming inside. Why should he sacrifice his pleasure, after all? Does he not deserve it? He also loves to have you swallow his load, again watching your face as you do. Though if you're one of his victims he probably wouldn't risk putting his penis in your mouth. He doesn't want anything happening to Lil' Jesse. 

If you are a victim he might force your mouth open and cum inside, or just cum on your face. That makes a great phone background. Yes, he would do that. Your memory would live on in his home screen. At least until he finds another piggy. 

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Believe it or not, Jesse would love it if you played with his ass. If you topped or pegged him, even better. His late wife never indulged him. 

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Jesse had quite a few partners, both men and women, before marrying his late wife. Even after the fact he had encounters outside of his marriage. So he's very much experienced. 

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Overtop of you with your legs in the air. That way he can see everything; his cock disappearing in and out of you, your body moving with him, and your face of course. His camera also captures more from there. 

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

When Jesse likes you he's quite the funny guy. He teases and plays with you in a humorous way. If you farted or queefed during sex he'd double over in his wheezing laughter. Jesse is here to have a good time. 

When you're a captive, he's brutal. He makes you look into his camera. He makes you look at yourself reflected in his mask, watching yourself be violated. 

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Jesse is completely bare, save for his eyebrows. After the incident at the market and his surgeries he doesn't even have those. He likes being hairless, and he's spent a lot of money to get laser removal done. Sliding into his satin sheets smooth as the day he was born is one of his great pleasures. 

He doesn't mind at all if you have hair, wherever it may be. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Jesse's ability to take anything seriously is severely inhibited by what I'd call 'affluenza'. He has so much money he can do what he wants, when he wants. Sex is a fun time for him, sure, but most of the time that's just it; a fun thing to do. Unless you're someone he really, really cares about. Then he will make more of an effort to take things seriously and be more romantic. 

When he makes that effort, he goes all out. Expensive dinners. Trips to foreign countries on one of his private jets. Rose petals on the bed. New lingerie for you. He will spare no expense. You will be wined, dined, and dicked. 

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Jesse loves to watch his tapes and jerk off. He basically has an addiction, but it's limited to his own recordings or live footage of you. Yes, he's always watching. 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Filming: He's got a camera on his shoulder for a reason, and he saves every single tape. He makes backups too. 

Phone/Cyber/Video Sex: Jesse does all three. You're getting dick pics. He will ask for nudes and videos, even if he already has them. There is never enough in his collection. You will receive some in return. He will barrage you with dirty texts. He feels no shame. He doesn't know what it is. More than once he's FaceTimed you, only for you to open the call and see him with his dick out. It's a common occurrence. 

Mirrors: He has huge ones across the way from his bed, just so he can watch your face when you're in a position where he can't see it. Jesse also likes to make you look at your reflection, whether it brings you shame or pleasure.

Period Sex: Jesse does not fear Aunt Flo. Only cowards do. He'll eat you out too. He thinks it's fun to show you your blood all over him. 

Bondage: Keeping people trapped in his coffins watching them squirm is a huge turn-on. Jesse will get right up on the lid to watch through his camera screen. If he's riled enough he will grind against it. He will also use ropes to restrain those he's got his eye on. 

Public Sex: Jesse will shamelessly pull you away to bang. He'll reach under the table if you're at a restaurant. Is it a fancy one? Even better. His fingers will play with you as you try to order from the waiter. Sometimes he'll even reserve the place so you two can have your fun in peace. In the car? He'll unzip his fly, pull out his cock and gesture to it while he's driving. Or he'll just pull to the side of the road and throw you into the back seat of his Chrysler. Did someone see? Good, Jesse wants to show off. 

Necrophilia: IT'S TRUE. NO I WON'T CHANGE MY MIND. We all saw him lick Princess's corpse in the second movie. He was keeping the bodies all around. He humps coffins. Jesse will have his way with his victims just after killing them. The poor interns from his organization have to clean up the mess. It's not a great job, but it pays very well and the benefits are outstanding. 

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Jesse loves his mansion. He had it built to his own specifications, and his bedroom has a massive California king-size bed. He loves to show off himself and his affluence. Where else better to do it than there? His car is another favorite. Give him some road head or a handy and he's on cloud nine. 

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

You exist. He exists. You have holes, he has a penis. That's really all Jesse needs. 

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Poop. He likes to be clean. Even psychopathic murderers have standards.

No vomit either. You can gag on his weiner, but please don't puke. 

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Jesse loves receiving oral. He could sit there for ages and watch you suck his dick. It makes him feel like a king, which he is. 

If he likes you, he will more than happily attack you with oral. Being cute? Being a brat? Bent over? Spread those legs because he's going in. 

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Jesse does not rush. He is slow and powerful. His size doesn't let him jackrabbit into you, but he doesn't need to. By the time he's done, you'll feel like you have no bones. 

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Of course! Jesse may be slow, but he is more than willing to whip out his cock and slip in and out. He knows just how to touch you, so making you cum quickly is easy. 

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

Jesse fears nothing. He could buy off anyone if he got into trouble with you. He has public sex for a reason, and that reason is he doesn't give a single shit. He's willing to try most anything if you're down to clown. He's here to have a good time. 

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

This man can go all night. No problem. He may need a break, but he'll pick right back up in no time. As long as you're willing he's ready. 

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Jesse has plenty, though not as many as other people he knows. He prefers quality over quantity. They're not competition. They're for enhancing the experience. He'll happily use them on you, and let you use them on him. He has a prostate massager that he loves. 

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Jesse is actually not that much into teasing when he likes you. He'll do it playfully, but never to deny you pleasure. Though if you're being bratty he just might to teach you a lesson. He'd rather not wait to have his fun with you. 

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Jesse can't speak. His vocal cords have suffered some kind of damage during his life and left him mute. The only noises he can make are raspy grunts and groans during sex. Though he is limited, Jesse is not shy about making these sounds when fucking you. 

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Jesse is good friends with Asa Emory, the Collector. The type of friends with benefits. Asa is more often than not the top, despite their size difference. Jesse doesn't mind at all. He finds it quite cute, but he'd never say that to Asa. 

He often helped to fund many of the Collectors endeavors. Jesse thought that Asa's traps were hilarious. 

Jesse is more than willing to have a threesome between you and the Collector, if Asa is feeling agreeable. He might even just sit and watch…

Jesse's late wife was a huge Karen. He hated every minute with her and dreaded becoming a father. 

If you do marry him, he actually is a doting husband. His late wife wasn't lying about that. 

He does not want children. Ever. He'd rather die. 

His aesthetic is very important to him. If there's something with skulls or skeletons, he wants it. Even better if it's chrome or silver. We all saw his cute little skull briefcase. He has cute skull slippers. Skeleton boxers. All of it. 

His late wife hated his aesthetic. She made him stop wearing a lot of it. Once she died Jesse had a field day putting back on all of his skull themed jewelry. The man has rings for days. 

Jesse has a difficult time going to places he considers low-brow or 'poor'. He was raised rich, so he was never exposed to such things. 

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Seven inches and uncircumcised.

Large low hanging balls. 

The tip of his dick is pierced with a Prince Albert. And yes, it has a silver skull on the end.

He named his penis Lil' Jesse. He will never stop calling it that. 

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Jesse always wants you. All you have to do is look at him suggestively. Or just look at him. He'll ask if you're ready to bang. 

The epitome of "So we fuckin' or what?" 

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Jesse will fall asleep with you. He's not one to pass out as soon as he nuts. He's too proud for that. His ego couldn't handle the shame. 

[leggerefiore]

Headcanons for (Pokémon) Cyrus, Grimsley, Grusha, and Larry with shy s/o?

anon did u figure out my interest in pretty men and know I like grusha lmao

also first time writing for him so it might suck😔

characters: Cyrus, Grimsley, Larry, Grusha

---

🌌Cyrus🛰

☄️ Honestly bad at handling it. He already struggles with emotions as is, and is not sure how to deal with your obvious discomfort in a lot of social situations. Cyrus would probably accidentally make your shyness worse. He can talk about things with his odd charisma that somehow got him an entire bowl-cut cult, but he isn't sure how to handle your more reserved behaviour. The leader unexpectedly gets scolded by Mars and Jupiter about needing to be more aware.

☄️ He doesn't like to go out to places with many people, excluding the Galactic HQ. Places like Sinnoh's ancient ruin sights aren't exactly attracting a large crowds. So, in a way, he tries with that. Of course, in situations where you get taken to places with many people, he may forget your discomfort and meekness. You will have to ask for your own ketchup in restaurants. He will apologise if it obviously upset you, but this is aiding in his belief that emotions are useless by seeing you like this.

☄️ If your shyness leads to initiating of affections in your relationship with him, he will never initiate. Well, there are a few exceptions when he does (a long tiring day at “work”, when he feels vulnerable, when an odd loneliness eats at him), but he does not see the point in it unless you start it. His usual scowl certainly does not help with bravely getting a hug from him. Don't be afraid, however, at worst he will just stand there with strong indifference. (He does enjoy it.)

☄️ Overall, probably not the best with a shy partner, but he does try. Somewhat. Numerous discussions are probably required, but he does understand the urge to be more reserved around people. He just isn't a very emotional, comforting type who is aware of how to handle people. He does care; he is just bad at showing it.

♠️Grimsley❤️

♤ He actually might laugh at your more reserved nature. The elite four member is known to be a bit of a tease and somewhat cruel. He does, however, try to help you with it. People are hard at times, he gets it. While has the amazing ability to really understand body language due to his love of gambling, not everyone does. He can read your tense shoulders and obvious curling into yourself with ease. This is when the teasing comes alongside his aide.

♡ His favourite places to go are bustling and social heavy, so he wonders how to take you out to places you can both enjoy. He does not want to keep forcing you into uncomfortable situations in which you may not enjoy yourself, after all. Grimsley settles on things like cat cafés and city walks as a good in-between. There are other people around for him to observe and degrees of separation involved to keep you from having to force yourself out in the open too much. Unlike Cyrus, he may or may not order for you, too, if you are struggling too much. It's a coin-flip. Literally.

◇ If you are more reserved in your relationship, he views you like a shy Purrloin. He quite literally says as much. Even if you struggle to initiate affection, he can easily slither his arms around you for a hug and tease you about how obvious it was that you wanted to cuddle. Much like a cat, he gets you to a point where you can easily come to him for affection. He's smug about how he helped get you over it, though. Be warned.

♧ Grimsley is a bit mean, but he does mean to help you. He wants you to come out of your shell more but respects how difficult that can be for you. If ever does anything that is genuinely too much and upsets you, he instantly shifts from his smug persona into a softer, more apologetic one. He cares a lot, actually. You may find your shyness eased quite a bit by the gambler.

💼Larry🏢

🍙 He is uncertain. His overworked brain ponders how to handle your more reserved nature. His job(s) requires him to deal with countless people. Even extremely difficult people. He shudders at the thought of his boss. The ordinary everyman understands why one would want to be more reserved completely. Larry decides to mostly help you in whichever way seems best for the situation you are in.

🍙 While his favourite date locations are the restaurants are Medali, he can forfeit it easily for evenings in. He has seen your obvious reservation in social situations and doesn't want you to be forced out into a lot and run out your social battery. Though, should you both end out at a restaurant together, he does help a lot. Larry can talk for you if needed, or just be silent support. He gets it. If you want to come out of your shell more, he encourages you in a subtle way.

🍙 If you are reserved in your relationship, he finds himself at an impasse. He struggles to be overly affectionate himself. It will be an extremely awkward thing if you both want to cuddle, but neither wants to initiate it. Larry will force himself to get over it and start it, eventually. Tired man does really hope you can get to a point where you initiate it on your own, though. If you do, you get a rare Larry smile and contented sigh from the man.

🍙 He is the best at giving subtle comfort and picking up on things easily, but not so much at helping your shyness. He understands being reserved, too. You can be an awkward pair. Together. A perfect match.

🏔Grusha🏂

❄️ He might take it the wrong way, honestly. Grusha is always in a bit of a mood. When he realises you are actually struggling, he has a moment of feeling like a dick and being annoyed. Your meeker nature is something he can't wrap his head around. Well, he gets it. Grusha likes you, though, so he bravely swallows back his feelings and tries to figure out how to best work with you on this. He recalls how people treated him after his accident. Yeah, he gets it a bit. (He is going back and forth on his feelings, like many things.)

❄️ Lucky for you, he doesn't really like overly busy places for dates. He mostly prefers walks alone with you on the mountains. Grusha likes it just being you two, since it gives him time to get away from his position as gym leader. If you both do end up at a place with people, he does turn full “they asked for no pickles” for you. Grusha will handle conversations if you don't want to. His icy demeanour does hold a certain softer side under it. He doesn't like seeing you uncomfortable, especially at the hands of another. He does try to encourage you to better stand up for yourself, though.

❄️ If you are shy about affections in your relationship, he debates how to go about this. See, he thinks initiating cuddling is a bit uncool. He finds roundabout ways to get you to initiate, but if that fails, he does eventually give in and starts off affection. In a way, he does help you get over your shyness about cuddling and kissing, since he manages to get over his obvious struggles about starting it himself. Not to mention, he's a great cuddler.

❄️ Overall, he struggles with your shyness but does try to help you since he doesn't like you being upset and uncomfortable. Grusha does try to help you better come out of your shell, though. He just isn't the best with words or helping. The snowboarder cares about you a lot, but he just is terribly awkward in his own way.

[tenderhungering]

Have you noticed how women are used in the film? Their suffering, grief, ambitions and even deaths. It all benefits the men.

yes, i have! i think it was during the first time i watched with two of my friends that we mentioned how fucked up it seemed to bring in lilly. she was an abused child in circumstances that june describes as inhumane and now she's supposed to come on and chat about said abuse.

to better delve into this though, i'm going to do a little ramble on each female character (i've been meaning to this regardless so this question has me excited!)

Lilly

as i mentioned before, lilly, to the public, is an abused child who has been rescued from a cult and is now the subject of dr. june's book. i believe that june really did care for lilly but she in a way, was still benefiting from her by writing about her. something to study while parenting. reminds me a bit about parents who write about raising troubled children.

jack brings them onto the show almost because he knows how shocking this is to audiences, to have survived what lilly did. i think that fear and shame but also desire kiss on the mouth. the public both fears the occult but want to learn more, there is some sort of fascination with the idea of someone being in it and being able to get out of it (would people do the same?). lilly is a spectacle. she is to go from not knowing the outside world to standing in front of the camera and expecting to behave like a typical girl her age. it's almost like she has to prove herself well-adjusted after her trauma.

june explains to her that everyone having a demon inside of them, acknowledging that lilly's might be a little more literal but because the demon serves as a stark reminder of her time in the cult, it's similar to someone working around their triggers. everyone has hurt in them. like a therapist helping you work with carrying that hurt rather than just suppressing it. clearly the demon leaves lilly exhausted, upset and feel not like herself. she's crying after her scene and asking june as to why she's hurt her, and apologizing for whatever happened when Mr. Wriggles was there. she is not in control of her actions. but jack wants more. he's momentarily sympathetic but realizes that it's getting him higher ratings. the more hurt is displayed, the happier than the media is.

even in the final scene, when the demon possesses her, we can see it in her face that she's distraught. confused. but all the camera does is zoom in on her expression,

June

june is so intriguing to me as a character because it's almost as though her instinct toward things is a calm and collected behavior, one that thinks of the ethics of it, whether anyone will get hurt, but her decisions are so easily swayed by jack. and he knows exactly what to tell her too. Everyone finally take you seriously. It is the 70s so there's no surprise that misogyny is rampant (though the 70s did introduce the second wave of feminism, she may be a representation of challenging attitudes as well). june is a very passionate woman in her studies, she'd be considered an expert in the field but this is almost immediately dismissed as soon as she's introduced as a doctor. you call yourself that. is that what you believe you are? can you prove you are?

i think it makes june feel better if everyone has a distance from lilly - hence writing a book about her. you can know lilly through the pages. you don't need to make her suffer for views then, you can educate yourself on what was happened to her and understand she's hurt more than necessary. she might've felt the need to write the book for them both. lilly need to be understood and emphasized with as more than just a "child of d'abo". but jack invites her with the idea of simply talking about said book, one of her biggest accomplishments and instead wants to treat them like some sort of circus act. do a trick for me, june! you know how to! it's not enough that you tell me you know, you have to show me, you have to prove yourself to me, the camera makes it real.

it is that logic that sometimes makes her feel inclined to prove herself. and sometimes this is at the cost of her own morals.

Minnie

my beautiful wife,,,

i love minnie. so much. i've written a bit about how i think she was prior to her death in other asks but i never quite touch so much on how much she was exploited by both jack and the industry.

to be ill is a personal affair. and it was on all the tabloids whenever minnie was diagnosed with cancer (even if she did not smoke! i mention this because while smoking might contribute to lung cancer, it did feel like an odd mention that they'd pay so much attention to whether or not she did? it might've been to emphasize how sudden this all was but i'd also like to throw in that perhaps she was also just taking care of her voice! she was in theatre.) she has no privacy to mourn the gradual loss of her life. some people believe the cult was implied to be the one who had made this illness manifest for her which is awful in its own regard and more so when one considers the fact they did it to get to jack. almost as though minnie is an extension of himself and not his own person.

jack inviting her to the show could very well be done just because he wanted to invite his wife (though it does feel a bit odd he waited till she was sick to do this. maybe it was some sort of public gesture of affection, they both live to entertain, it's their job) but there's something saddening about the ordeal. it's almost as though knowing minnie was sick was not enough, the public had to see her in order to have some sort of confirmation. and the immediate comment about inviting her over being followed how even then, this wasn't enough to surpass johnny carson is morbid to say the least. almost as though minnie had just been used as a way to gain better ratings. sympathy ratings. i don't want to remove any agency of minnie, it might have been her decision to go on the show but the public's reaction to is that is what is more concerning.

even her death was simply a sacrifice. she was nothing more than a missing puzzle piece to have jack move forward (or downwards?). something that would benefit jack. as all the women in the film have been. each with such distinct personalties and motives to what keeps them going (or who are still amidst figuring out what they'd want out of life) being only part of a larger scheme where men are the benefactors. the grove only allowed men. the cult birthed sacrifices from their women. women are a stepping stone. a chess piece. something that needs to bleed for someone who demands it.

i love writing about how compelling these characters are! so sorry if sometimes my ramblings feel leaning more towards just dissection rather than downright analysis! i hope it gave some insight though!

[recreationalfanfics]

Hello, I love your scripts so much, I revel in them every day! 😍

How about a scenario where the reader placed a yandere!adventurer in the friend zone, keeps next to him and considers him a himbo? Will he find out about it, or will he blindly feed off his obsession with the few bits of attention he can get from the object of his adoration? 👀

THE READER ISN'T WRONG, JESSE IS DEFINETLY A HIMBO TO SOME DEGREE NGL.

Jesse is a very well-sought after man, some of his adventures involving flings with other women and men but nothing that really lasted since he was always all over the world. He believed his heart just wasn't able to be tied down to a romance because his true love was adventuring...you proved him wrong, however.

The painful thing about being in love with you is that you didn't seem to love him back the way he wanted. Yes, you'd take care of him when he was sick and would scold him and make him take a break when adventuring took too much out of him, but that's just because you were a good friend and a good person. When he puts his arm over your shoulder during movie nights, you'd just laugh and unwrap it around yourself and tell him you weren't his arm rest. During moments he thought were intimate and romantic, his eyes would go half lidded and he was ready to pucker up his lips and kiss you...AND THEN YOU'D BE ALL: "Oh, WAIT, YEAH, CAN YOU DECODE THESE FOR ME? There like some old language or something but I'm so lost. You're good at them, though!" One time he overheard you and Scarlette talking and she brought up how Jesse seems to flirt with you a lot and you just snorted and cackled, "Jesse's just a goofball, he's like that with everyone." and he just nearly threw his hat to the ground to stomp on if (nearly).

You HAD to be doing this on purpose, you HAD to know that he liked you, right? That's what Jesse thinks at first but then he looks into your eyes and they're so genuine and happy around him. So welcoming and warm that his usual grin drops a little because he's helpless when you look at him like that. It's also painful because he can't see any romantic love in your eyes, no longing that tells him you want him as badly as he wants you. You just saw him as your goofy flirtatious friend who did stupid life-threatening things sometimes.

Basically, he has a mixed response; he KNOWS that you see him as a friend but he's stumped on how to jump over that hoop because usually his good looks and charm are enough but it looks like you're making him work a lil bit harder, hun. So he supposes he doesn't mind being in the friendzone as much, even if it is painful hearing you call him "broski", "buddy", "bestie", or anything like that. It's nice to have all your attention and while he doesn't know how to make you change your view on him, he knows that he can change everyone else's view on the both of you.

He's still his normal affectionate self but he'll also do little things that'll make other people think you're a couple and scare off anyone who might have their eyes on you. He'll wander off randomly which can cause you both to be late to things so you hold his hand and pull him along with you, his pearly whites flashing because he just can't fight back how happy he is. Making you laugh so hard you have to lean on him for support, causing jealous single people to glare at the both of you and shake their heads in distaste. Making it a point to call you nicknames like: "Sweet pea", "Hun", "Darlin'", "Sweetheart", "Sugar", "Sweet peach" and you don't really pay it any mind.

However if you do ever get into a relationship, he is most definetly gonna be instigating stuff so that it barely ever lasts. Like, he'll hang out with your partner and just be all: "It must be hard when (Y/n) has to work all 'em hours, ya know?" and your s/o is all: "I mean...I never thought about it before but yeah, you're right, it kinda does suck." and whenever you get into an argument with your s/o and call Jesse to rant, he's all: "Me personally? I wouldn't let that slide." and he's internally smug, watching as you two become more and more passive aggressive with each other, telling you guys that you both look super tense. Couples therapy will not help, this man is a middle child who pitted his brothers against each other for the hell of it, and he's very good at making sure you two are focused on being angry at each other.

When you finally break up, your good friend Jesse will always brighten your day but even after all of that, you still smile at him and say: "Thanks for being with me, Jesse. I'm super lucky to have a best friend like you."

and there's a weird pain in his heart, one that makes him want to just grab you and kiss you and yell about how you keep him up at night. How he never stops thinking about you, how on nights when he's off somewhere else that he sleeps with your letters under his pillow, and how he has dreams where he's got you in his arms as you decorate his face with kisses and he whispers about how much he adores you.

Instead, he rubs your back and says: "M'always gonna be there for ya, hun!"

[howmanygsdoesoneneed]

the Dragon Age VG fandom is a bit of a bummer (sometimes)

I'm not even talking about the incels and gamerbros who are complaining about how the game is too woke. They're not worth talking about, and it's hard to think of them as genuine DA fans. If the ability to have top surgery scars on your Rook (a 100% optional trait that you don't have to have for yourself) is such a turnoff that you won't play the game, then I have to wonder if you were that enthusiastic in the first place.

Anyway. Don't care about them, and fun is too good for them.

What really is a bummer to me is the genuine fans who seem to be talking themselves out of liking the game in advance. Like, some of them talk up Origins so much, and it's clear that their memories are rose-tinted and highly nostalgic, and they're basically comparing VG not to Origins itself, but to their memories of playing it for the first time.

(ETA: Just to clarify, I'm talking mostly about the Facebook side of the fandom. There's a ton of DA groups on Facebook. The larger ones tend towards being public and accepting anyone, while the smaller ones are usually private and tend to be more left-leaning & inflict the banhammer liberally on assholes. Mostly, the behavior I'm talking about in this post happens in the bigger groups, which have a wider range of people, including those who complain about "wokeness" and who like to spread negative rumors as far and as fast as they can. Side note: These people are also mostly male, so it's a total hoot when you realize that this behavior is basically gossiping, a pastime that is normally attributed to women and viewed negatively by men and society in general.)

And they're almost talking themselves into not liking VG just because it's so different from what they remember Origins being. And how could it be anywhere near the same? Origins was 15 years ago - not only is it a different game, but 15 years later you're almost a different person. Plus there's 15 years of tech upgrades - games can do so much more now so there are probably some mechanics from Origins that are just basically defunct now. Plus tastes have changed, and they do have to make a game that people want to play.

Basically just lots of reasons for why VG is different from the other games, but Origins most especially. So the die-hard Origins fans are unhappy with what they hear about VG, especially in terms of how it's different from Origins. And this makes them particularly vulnerable to rhetoric from the anti-woke haters, even if they themselves are not especially "anti-woke" (I fucking hate using that term after it's basically been appropriated and abused, but it's what they're using and so it's useful shorthand). So I see all these people who are just talking themselves into disliking Veilguard without ever having played it, for reasons that don't have much to do with the game itself. I feel kind of bad for those people, because they're going to miss out on what I think is going to be a great game. Even if they do play it, their enjoyment is going to be colored by all of that negativity.

(And I know, why should I care? It's nothing to do with me, not my fault, etc. It's just a bummer, because it's happening all the time in fandom spaces that once you get "anti-woke" people in there they make it less fun.)

Anyway. This is why I tend not to put much stock in game reviews, and don't even read most of them. I don't want my perceptions to be affected by anyone else's opinion, and it's so easy for that to happen. Case in point, I read the review from The Guardian. It was the first one I saw, and I figured I might as well look at one, at least. The reviewer mentioned that combat seems to rely a lot on dodging, and that is mildly concerning, because I'm fucking terrible at executing defensive movements in real time. Like, just really, really bad. I've never been great at that fully real-time combat style, and I am 50 now so I'm only going to get worse. I usually do pick things up eventually, but it can take more than one playthrough sometimes. In this case it hopefully won't make much difference, because I can always turn the difficulty level down if I need to. I'm a completionist in terms of content, but not achievements, so I'm not worried about completing the game on nightmare for the 100% (I would like to do a full playthrough on hard, but that's going to come much later. I don't care if I have to turn down the difficulty on my first run.)

On the other hand, that review and other content peeks have seemed to suggest that combat options are limited (in that you only have three or so abilities available in combat), and that tends to be a good thing for me, because I am usually a pretty unadventurous tactician. I'm not one of those people who uses spells in imaginative ways, like using force spells to push enemies off cliffs and such. I typically end up with 2-3 favorite abilities that I use constantly and forget about most of the others. (BG3 has helped me a little bit with that, though, because you can do so much in combat that I'm starting to get interested in trying things.)

So, clearly, reviews are just incredibly subjective. For instance, the reviewer for The Guardian also maligned various memory aids, like the fact that the journal has mission summaries for completed missions, and other things. Which I totally disagree with, because those features are like a fucking miracle for me. I have a shit memory, so I appreciate whatever help I can get in that area.

When I used to play the old 90s RPGs, like the first Might and Magic games and such, fuuuuuck. The amount of backtracking I used to do, the hours wasted looking for a specific house in a town with no map and where all the streets and houses looked exactly the same. Maps and waypoints and the like are the work of geniuses and make gameplay so much more enjoyable (I remember this one game, totally forget what it was called, but you could just flat out lose the game if you didn't take a specific quest-related action before a timer ran out, but they didn't tell you there was a timer, and I forgot where I was supposed to do the quest turn-in, and basically got stuck in an end-of-the-world death loop and had to restart the whole thing, when I was already about halfway through.)

I think gaming is easily the most subjective artistic/entertainment medium in existence. Not only do you have visual and story elements, you are an active participant in your own entertainment, so there are game mechanics to contend with as well. There's just a ton of different elements to like or dislike, far more than any other kind of media. So that's the main reason I don't care about game reviews -- they're just so subjective that I don't often find them a useful way to know if a game is worth buying. I'm just as likely to buy a game off the back of a bad review as I am a good one. Reviews are mainly useful for finding out if there are game-breaking bugs at launch.

So this turned into a bit of a ramble, especially when the TLDR is that fandom can be a bummer sometimes. It just sucks that the Veilguard launch has been affected by so much negativity. And it makes me wonder if this is just how it's going to be now, for anything with even a hint of inclusion about it. It certainly seems that way. I wish that people could be more open to change (and maybe less inclined to be driven by nostalgia for older versions of pre-existing properties). And I wish that people were more open-minded about things like top surgery scars and vitiligo. It's not hurting anyone to include those options, and it can really help people and make them feel seen.

[dandyshucks]

rambling about Guz under the cut hsdhgjkl, CW for abuse and (c)ptsd talk as well as discussion of racism

i've hesitated to say anything about his trauma-caused aggression and anger because i fear it'll be misconstrued by ppl (<- tags on that other post that i'm going off of bc i wanna ramble abt it)

he's not Scary or Violent or Mean. i mean maybe other ppl might view him that way, he might come across that way if you don't know him well, but like.... its trauma. if you were physically abused as a child... yeah. youre gonna come out of that with issues that won't be pretty. you're not going to be the Perfect Victim. you are going to have symptoms and reactions and whatnot that are ugly and difficult and upsetting and hard-to-be-around sometimes.

I am really aware and cautious of the stereotype where many men of colour (mainly black men, but this also includes indigenous men and some other men of colour) are portrayed as being Big and Aggressive, so I have avoided getting anywhere near that, especially since I made the decision to change Guz's skintone in my portrayal of him (which I'm not going to get into, at least rn, but that decision was carefully thought out as well for me). So I always get a bit worried that IF I show any of that side of his trauma, it is going to come off the wrong way.

When I look at him being angry and aggressive in any way, I'm coming at it from the perspective of "this is a man who was a child who was abused and beaten, and he's grown up being taught he needs to Fight, that he needs to be scary in order to be safe, and he is very afraid in a way that translates to anger because that's the way he learned to deal with that emotion." And then we (Guz and co) figure out how to work with that, how to start unravelling all the trauma that's packed into that behaviour, how to start unlearning those reactions and begin working on new ways of Being. He's got a safe environment now, where the people he's around genuinely care about him, where he doesn't have to scare the people around him in order to be respected and safe. Plumes and the squad love him, and Junebug loves him, and he doesn't want to hurt any of them. He also doesn't want to continue that cycle of abuse, doesn't want the grunts or anyone else to feel afraid of him like he was afraid of his dad, nor does he want any of the grunts to feel like they have to be aggressive to be safe in the world.

I'm also aware of the fact that I have white skin even if I am indigenous lol, and the little white-skinned partner appearing to be the "uwu soft niceys" one in the relationship with the big "aggressive" man with brown skin is uhhhh a really fucking awful look! really fucked up! And it's not something I'm interested in presenting to the world, even if it's just in this small circle of the internet. That's a really fucked up dynamic to be putting out there without context lmao.

Anyways, so even if Guz has that shit going on, I'm very careful with how I present it and aware of how it might come across, and if I ever step over any lines, people are more than welcome to holler at me and let me know I've fucked up!

Currently, I figure he was working on shit for a while before my self-insert came along (this is not a case of "i will fix you all by myself" because again... my white skin makes it look like white saviorism, plus I do not think thats a very interesting dynamic for me personally anyways lol, you gotta be putting in a bit of work yourself for me to stick around very long and help you out), and then Junebug showing up was just another motivational force to keep working on his shit. Guz has a good group of people around him and Junebug is just kind of a bonus in the situation. He'd be putting in the work either way, but they're just a little extra boost for him.

I think he’ll always have a bit of a tendency to react with the fight instinct rather than flight or freeze in situations where he is genuinely terrified and doesn’t have time to think through a reaction, but all of the rest of it improves. It’s amazing what a person can change about the way their brain is wired with enough time and effort and support!

[dreaming-of-mossballs]

hii so I'm like a super ultra silent reader of your content bc I am deathly afraid of my liked posts showing up on my friends' feeds. but I had to somehow let you know that even though you seem to be having some sort of burnout and unhappiness with your writing, as someone who's very very picky about what writing I even enjoy, your writing style and skill is definitely some of my favorite on the app at all. I totally understand being unhappy with your own work since I'm an artist too (albeit a visual artist so, not quite the same here but the idea applies), and I can relate to being unsatisfied with whatever it is you're putting out there. but basically, I just wanted to let you know from an outside view, your writing is extremely eloquent and well-put-together and organized. you can tell your writing is created with a lot of thought and time put into it, which is why it's so easy to enjoy. and side note, I LITERALLY haven't been able to stop thinking of your last post since I read it yesterday which almost never happens 😭. honestly even though there's like 5 gepard fans on here so he gets practically no content from anyone, I'd still prefer to have your writing carrying the "fanclub" of sorts over a large crop of posts from lots of people that isnt very well-done or thought about. I know you said this recent post may be your last one for a bit, so please, PLEASE take your time with whatever's next!! your stuff is always very much worth the wait ❤️ and please do take care of yourself and don't push yourself too hard.

(by the way, you totally don't need to post this on your profile or respond to it at all, I just wanted to send in some kind of message about it since as I mentioned, my paranoia prevents me from interacting with your posts directly 😞)

CRYINGB UGLY SOBBING OMGOMGOMG

It surprises me when people say I don’t need to respond because I can’t keep such a nice note to myself 😭 but I do the same thing when I’m sending asks so I totally get it (I’d get this tattooed on my forehead if no one stopped me)

i had NO IDEA I had a super ultra silent reader so this was an absolute joy to get. There was a post I saw earlier about how in fandoms, it’s either you talking with a small group of friends or your door is open and people come in and listen to you ramble. I’m definitely the latter. I’m so fortunate to have so many people invested in my story lol, because like most things I write, they start off as daydreams in bed. I’ve never written one out before, but I’m SO GLAD I DID.

And honestly, if I were to release something the quality I wanted it to be, it would take ages of rereading and refining. Unfortunately im not a very gifted writer, but all the practice I’ve gotten due to being obsessed with gepard has helped me a bit. I just have to remember that haha

Some less coherent thoughts

ITS EASY TO UNDERSTAND???? YAY IM SO HAPPY AHHHHHHHH

i actually based my style off the wings of fire series, i don’t know if y’all are familiar with it, but the introspective humor was so fun to me as a child. (Also I love using Chekhov’s gun as a crutch I’m sorry guys) it also stemmed from the worry that readers wouldn’t be able to visualize what I was picturing, so that ended up in a LOT of describing scenes early on. With no metaphors so it was just like. (Y/N) set the cup down, (Y/N) put the laundry in the washer, etc. hahaha it makes me laugh looking back on it

it also makes me absolutely kicking my feet giddy that it’s invaded your brain. I love giving people brain worms and inflicting emotional damage on them. And gepard ALWAYS shares posts with other Hsr men like. The absolute middle child treatment. But I’m glad I’m doing my part to bring something to the table that’s different than the usual 1k words he gets sandwiched in between five other people.

it makes me so so happy you think my writing is organized and well thought out, because I do put a lot of thought into it!

I’ve run out of words to say but i might come back to this to ramble pfft

i hope that fic gives you a good supply of serotonin for days to come 🩵🩵

[wunderbud]

Alright so, I sat down with Daniel.

This probably won't be a surprise to you or anyone else but he admits that he might have a addiction to not safe for work content (artwork and well, you know real life women & men) which would explain his past behavior in this whole situation.

I asked him how the hell did this addiction of his even start? He says he was probably exposed to it when he was like, 8 or 12.

One sign of this addiction is "Engaging in risky behavior to view it"

Also loss of self-confidence or self-worth

Along with aggression and desensitization

So basically the man has a mental health issue that he didn't really think that much about.

You and others may take this as you will.

Alright, I'm only going to say this once because im so goodamn aggravated. Not towards you, anon, towards Daniel himself. Show this to him if you want to, I don't care what he sees anymore.

An addiction to nsfw does not, in any way, excuse the way he treated me and countless others. It doesn't give him the right to insult me and the other victims, it doesn't give him the right to use people the way he did.

Every single message I've read over from difficult people have all had the same patterns of manipulation, every single one is a fucking sob story of "look at how sad and pathetic I am feel sorry for me" one he gets called out and it makes me sick to my stomach. If he really was sorry for what he did he would've gotten help after the first time he did it.

He's not sorry he did it, he's sorry he was caught. If I hasn't said something, he would have done it again, I'm sure of it.

He needs to own up to what he did instead of spewing out various excuses to avoid taking accountability for anything.

When I asked him if there were any others besides me and the anonymous victim, he said it was just us and well, now we know there was a third. I gave him so many chances to be honest and he never took any of them.

Dan, if you're reading this, you need to stop hiding behind your friends and talk yourself. Stop being a fucking coward and using good, innocent people to speak for you. It's pathetic.

No more second chances. No more sympathy

[s1ll13rg00s3]

I absolutely get what you are saying and I was talking to a gyn about this irl only yesterday. Like yes, patriarchy is bad but having patriarchy control your decision making through "well if patriarchy tends to say yes I must say no" doesn't maximise women's autonomy. I think it's good to be aware of the patriarchal pressures, learn more so you can do a more true cost/benefit analysis for yourself, then make your own decision.

I don't think acting as a walking talking billboard for your political opinions through how you present yourself is an effective means of social change & this twisting of "the personal is political" is really unfortunate. I hope that the gyns doing that aren't aware of the author's views and that misrepresenting the intended meaning is an honest mistake.

I 100% agree, I think that a lot of ppl on here only get so far as cultural femininity = tool of the patriarchy and patriarchy = bad so femininity = bad. Which as short hand kind of works, but I think it misses the big picture.

With regard to femininity in general, I think one thing libfems are (half) right about is that a lot of feminine things are seen as demeaning because they are associated with women. While sometimes certain inherently demeaning roles are "assigned" to women via feminity (such as being a sexual object) i dont think that means that everything feminine has an inherent quality of being demeaning, lesser, or damaging. I mean like for example, we have evidence of this with how careers and sports and fields of study that are female dominated and therefore associated with women are seen as lesser, command less respect, and don't pay as well. Like it's directly observable that when women were dominating compsci it paid like being a secretary, whereas now it is incredibly lucrative and very well respected.

But since we're taking about aesthetics specifically, lets talk about body hair again, why is a man who trims or shaves his chest/back hair not really worthy of comment (maybe some people might think its vain, and therefore not masculine... hm), but if he shaves his legs... it's a flat out joke?

If you look at the expectations of femininty physically everything expected of women is a deviation from the "natural" - removal of body hair, a body that needs to be maintained through careful diet and exercise, smooth/long/neatly coifed hair, makeup to cover blemishes, blemishless/unwrinkled skin that requires a routine to maintain, etc.

Secondly, the exaggerate existing sexual dimorphism in humans. Men are typically harrier than women, their hair is coarser, they are typically larger, they usually have thinner lips and smaller eyes and lower brows, smaller chests and hips and wider waists, etc.

Men are allowed to be natural, they are allowed to not alter themselves and it is a neutral decision and the masculine has to be separate from the feminine as much as possible to help maintain the separation between the sexes which makes it easy to "other" women. So, in order to do that, women must be pushed into making obligatory alterations of their body to more clearly define the social classes of men/women.

It also serves as a vessel to deliver shame to women by constantly communicating to us that our bodies are shameful and need to be changed. "Not only is your body weaker than men's and more easily exploited, but the one thing it's good for (ornamental value/sexual gratification) can't even be accomplished naturally, to fulfill your "purpose" you need to constantly change yourself or you are without value." While Men are allowed to just be.

When a man shaves his legs its funny and worthy of mockery because shaving your legs is feminine, not because there's anything more inherently degrading about removing leg hair vs removing chest hair.

That's why there's also a "right" way to decorate yourself - really, if you do actual creative makeup (or even just "beauty" makeup but badly) you get told that you look like a clown a lot or if you dress up in the "wrong" way you'll get ridiculed also. One example is lolita fashion, which is hyper feminine but was still invented as an inversion of what is expected of Japanese women (a mature, subdued, sexy look). I mean... they're are butch women who spend quite a lot of effort on their appearance (suits are not very comfortable, a good one is expensive and needs to be tailored. Plus you have colognes and grooming products for short hair (similar to what men use)), but they don't get rewarded for it societally because they are still stepping out of line with what is expected of their class. It's just a delivery system for shame and assimilation into the "woman" social class.

That's also why the goals of feminine grooming change over time, if they were just the "most degrading" option wouldn't they be stagnant and never overlap with what men have done at any point? But instead, we see bodytypes and facial features go on and out of style, we see constantly evolving fashion trends, and what sort of roles women are "allowed" to take in society. The specifics aren't that important, it is the grooming into shame, which is then used to keep women compliant and subservient.

Really, on a basic level, it's not a big deal to shave your legs. You're probably not going to get an infection from a cut and you're probably not wasting *that* much time. Wearing heels occasionally isn't going to ruin your joints (men used to wear heels too at times and they were fine) the truly important part about compulsory grooming is the above, at least in my opinion.

And... thats why I think its counter productive to weaponize that same shame to make women chase after a new moving target which is just "the opposite of what men want" or the current ever evolving patriarchal standard. Have you really helped her deconstruct anything and deprogram herself or will she just bend in a different direction when someone else is shaming her more than you are? Besides that... living as inversion of something is still letting it define your life. Exhausting.

[harleiquina]

To anyone reading.

As an unkissed 31 years old, let me tell you that I was always scared of people thinking that I'm a loser or pathetic for not having such a "important" milestone (aside from others).

When in High School, many rumored that I was a lesbian (I'm not) only because I didn't have a boyfriend nor showed interest in having one and, hear this, because I didn't used make up!

Social pressure is a b#tch and you might always regret doing something just because "everyone does it". I wonder how many of my friends actually wanted to start a relationship at their 15 or 16 or just did it because "people say it's time".

I'm lucky that nobody in my family, not even my grandmother (who told me at my 20th birthday "I got married at 25 so you have my permission to do it (from now on)") poked me about it or try to get me in a hurry to find a partner. And it would've been quite hypocrital of them, if you asked my grandparents why they married (waiting to hear how they fell in love and such) you would've gotten a "we married because we had to marry at that age". My aunts are single and never had a partner since I was born (one of them had men courting her, and she was interested in at least one but it never happened). My mom is a single mom (the sperm donor was never interested in me as his child but as a possible transaction. He would've given me his last name in exchange of a landlot). So, of course they won't bother me about it... how could they?

I was indirectly taught about my self-worth, to be independent, not to conform myself with anything/anyone and to go to the beat of my own drum.

People wants to think of me as a lesbian? Ok, go ahead. It is not an insult... it is a very stereotypical and narrow-minded point of view but please... be my guest. I don't mind. I don't care.

If anyone ever asks me why don't I have a boyfriend/husband (I live in Latinoamerica, mind you. Some of my former classmates already have 3 kids) I'll ask them "what for?" and I'll see them fumble through their words with a well hidden malicious grin.

I'm fine as of now. I'm working on me and that is a lot! And as Jareth said... "I'm tired of living up to the expectations you have of me" (I've always been the Good GirlTM and its exhausting)

This is my life and I get to choose what I will do, what I won't do, with whom and when.

I'm not saying "it will never happen" because I don't know. If it happens, happens; if not, I won't cry over it. There are more important things to do.

So... just be yourself.

The world can suck it.

trying to feel less bad about myself on this Tuesday night, so answer my poll please~

btw, this is not counting the random kiss you had with a kid in preschool who your parents joked you would marry. This is like actual first romantic kiss as a sentient human being.

[ma222dd4t4563214]

Day 3 of 30, sep 12 Ended things with my ex and for the first time ever I feel nothing for his words, it is meaningless, it is like reading some other girl's boyfriend's chat. Just, detached, unbothered, uninterested, and a bit grossed out too. Thinking if I am malice in some way, as a person, but got this text:

And this man's date idea for me is to go on a star gazing view in the back of his truck and just talk about all things life while drinking tea, he is an agnostic too, and a very good person a hard worker and we clicked instantly for a week now but I wasn't meeting him until I fully move on from my ex, and happy to say, I am. Especially after today he promised to stay away and not fight anymore for this or us and it is for the best, for me for sure anyway. But! Today is not a happy day for any man, it is me moving on, seeing life in a different way, all the possibilities of it being good and wholesome and fun and chill! I ALSO SIGNED A NEW CONTRACT TODAYYYYYY Which is a very high pay and in my city so that is hella cool!! no rent, just abundance in money and dates and aah! good feelings. I told the universe I would text my ex and if it went well I would be all in for helping him and being there for him but he was saying a lot of mixed signals things and I really am not in the place in my life for these games anymore, I wanna be better, do better, kept asking him if he wants anything from me, but nothing was said but hurtful words. and then that company reached out to me, gave me the salary I said I would be satisfied with and I think, in the end, When you truly love someone, you are loyal, you try, you dedicate time and effort and reserve feelings to them and your body your all just so you can keep the good things good, and they break you in a way you didn't deserve at all; Life will align better things for you and you will move on not by using others, but you will move on just by yourself, I take this as a sign that I was good to him and my intentions were always real and true and just all in with it all, but that person harming me might be the best thing that I wanted to happen to me to be my best year ever. For it rewarded me in the end, life just said here are the numbers here is his ex calling him while you are there here are the good men here is your dream pay and, you were good, don't let it break you, you were good, and you will get better just all the signs told me to just detach, from someone who doesn't care in the way I do. I wish him hell, I wish he feel what I felt before he ever get happy because, I didn't deserve him doing me like that, after all, not even a nice word about me, it is my win, truly, thankful, you let me go.