#⭑ fuck about it — rockstar / bear.

[p2iimon]

drawing more furry fnaf art. yknow just to keep you posted. i love posting in the tags sorry these ones got away from me

[originhl]

TAG DROP 2/6 ( tags for Lex, Bear, and Scott )

[jeonginsleftcheek]

Hate your guts (pt 2)

~ bcs tumblr hates me i had to divide this into two parts, here is part 1

pairing: rockstar!hyunjin x rockstar afab!reader

genre: enemies to lovers, fluff, smut

wc: 26.6k

synopsis: hwang hyunjin, your sworn enemy. the person who finds and pushes all your buttons, annoys you and makes you angry. the person you're trying to avoid so badly, only to end up practically sharing a bed with him on tour. let the fun begin!

warnings: lots of swearing, smoking and alcohol, mentions of blood and throwing up, mild violence, multiple sex scenes, unprotected sex, oral (f and m), fingering, handjob, semi-public sex, spanking, creampies, mix of degradation and praise

a/n: so... tumblr kept screwing me bcs of the formatting and i'm never writing in google docs again🙃

The next morning as you woke up, you were confused. 

There was someone behind you, their arms wrapped around you as their breath kept hitting your neck. 

You almost started screaming as you squirmed but the arms tightened around you. 

“Relax, it’s just me.” 

“Hyunjin! What the hell?” you whined, trying to get out of his grasp.

“I had a nightmare so I came back.” he nuzzled into you and you tried to move away, realizing then that his leg was thrown over you and you were essentially caged.

“How did you get into my room?” you questioned. 

“I stole your key when you threw me out.” Hyunjin answered nonchalantly. 

“You little criminal.” you frowned, trying to get out of his deadly clutch again. 

“Let go, Hyunjin.” 

“Mm… no.” 

“Hyunjin, I’m warning you.” 

You felt his smile against the back of your neck. 

“Let me hold you for a little while.” he said. 

“You held me against my will since you sneaked back in.” you fought against him.

“Stop squirming!” Hyunjin almost laid down on top of you as you whined. 

Thankfully, a knock on the door saved you. 

“Let me get the door at least.” 

Hyunjin groaned as the knocks persisted before letting you go.

“Fine, you’re free.” he pouted.

You opened the door and Brendon was on the other side.

“Oh, hey B.” you said. 

“Hey. Is Hyunjin in there with you? We can’t find him.” 

“Oh yeah, he’s here.” you confirmed. 

“Oh.” Brendon smirked. 

“It’s nothing like that!” you felt the need to defend yourself instantly. 

“Mhm. Sure. Well, Aiden and I are gonna get some breakfast so you guys can join us if you want.”

“Sure, we’ll be down soon.” 

“See ya.” Brendon winked before you closed the door. 

You made your way back to your bed and the sight made you melt. 

In your rush to get away from Hyunjin and open the door, you didn’t see he brought his teddy bear with him, the plushie friend leaned on the other pillow that was untouched.

Hyunjin was sleeping on your side, hogging your pillow and blanket like there wasn’t enough space, and what’s worse he didn’t have a shirt on and your face became profusely red in a millisecond.

“Hyunjin, wake up, we’re gonna get breakfast with the guys.” you shook him lightly. 

He muttered but never moved. 

“Hyunjin! Wake up!” you shook him again. 

“Stop calling me Hyunjin!” he turned towards you suddenly and you laughed at his cute swollen face and his disheveled hair. 

“That’s your name, silly.” you said. 

“Give me a nickname. Hyunjin sounds too formal. Unless you’re moaning it.” he smirked and you decided to put use to the other pillow and smack him with it. 

“Ow.” he whimpered. “Did you see that teddy? She’s abusing me.”

“Let’s go.” you rolled your eyes as he pouted.

Getting breakfast with Aiden and Brendon proved to be a mistake as they teased you constantly. 

“You two finally shacking up, huh?” Aiden smirked. 

“We are far from shacking up.” you grimaced and Hyunjin laughed. 

“You’ve warmed up to me, admit it.” Hyunjin wiggled his eyebrows as he leaned in close to your face. 

“Not admitting anything unless a lawyer is present.” you smirked. 

“Fine, don’t.” he smirked back. 

“Actually, I went to law school shortly so-”

“Brendon, shut the fuck up.” you said as everyone laughed.

“How about we hit the town?” Aiden suggested after breakfast and everyone agreed. 

You spent the day sightseeing (and getting stopped by fans occasionally) and Hyunjin insisted on taking as many pictures as he could to capture the happy memories. 

By the time you got to your room, it was almost night and you were exhausted. 

“Oh, hello there.” you saw Hyunjin’s teddy on your bed, which meant he probably left it to have a reason to come back to your room. 

You were expecting him to come in any minute, but as you showered and laid down, it was quiet. 

You almost fell asleep, the buzzing of your phone startling you. 

asshole<3: hey pretty, are you asleep

you: not anymore, what do you want

asshole<3: put your bathing suit on (or don’t) but i’m taking you to a night swim in the pool

you: no you’re not, i’m going back to sleep.

asshole<3: no we’re going swimming baby. i’m in front of your door

you: why don’t you just come in? breaking and entering seems like your thing. 

It was quiet for a moment, before you heard the keycard beeping and the door opening. 

“It’s not breaking and entering when I have a key, just so you know.” Hyunjin walked in nonchalantly, throwing his towel over the chair. 

“Did you get a spare key for my room?” you sat up in your bed, turning the lamp on. 

“Yeah, I told the desk lady you’re my girlfriend. She wouldn’t budge in the beginning but I charmed my way into getting the key.” he smiled smugly as he sat down next to you. 

“Of course you did.” you rolled your eyes. 

“Aw, were you hugging teddy?” Hyunjin smiled, pointing to his friend who was laid next to you. “I’m so glad you two are getting along.”

“He looked lonely.” you shrugged. 

“Don’t I look lonely too?” Hyunjin pouted and you made a disgusted face. 

“Please, don’t do that.” you got up as Hyunjin’s eyes followed you. 

“Are you gonna put your bathing suit on?” 

“Yes, in the bathroom.” you rummaged through your things and Hyunjin chuckled.

“I mean, we can go skinny-dipping too.” he added. 

“Yeah right.” you gave him a look before making your way to the bathroom. 

The two of you finally made your way to the pool, sneaking around as it was late. 

It made you feel like you were a couple of teenagers looking for a place to fuck. 

There was something in the air, you felt it as Hyunjin walked close to you, his eyes wandering to you constantly.

When you made it to the pool, both of you stripped without hesitation and Hyunjin’s lips parted as he started eye-fucking you openly. 

“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.” you smirked. 

“Not if I put my mouth to some better use.” he smirked back and you rolled your eyes as you made your way towards the water. 

“Come on, you invited me here, what are you waiting for?” you said and Hyunjin followed you, both of you getting in. 

“Fuck, it’s cold.” you hissed and Hyunjin floated closer to you. 

“We’ll warm up.” he came up behind you, his arms wrapping around your middle.

“I thought we were swimming.” you craned your neck, trying to look at him. 

“We are.” Hyunjin nosed your cheek, before brushing his lips against your skin briefly, his lip ring scratching you pleasantly. 

“H-Hyunjin.” you turned around as he released you and his face was unreadable. 

“What?” you asked.

“Nothing.” he said, a sly smile spreading on his face as he lifted his hand and splashed you. 

“Asshole!” you laughed, splashing him back. 

“Ooh, I haven’t heard that one in a while.” Hyunjin bit on his lip, playing with his piercing shortly as he got closer again. 

You squealed and swam away so he started swimming after you. 

“You know I used to compete in swimming? It’s futile trying to escape.” Hyunjin said as he kept coming closer. 

You screamed, laughing as he grabbed your ankle and pulled you into him before he cornered you against the edge of the pool. 

“I’m gonna kiss you now. You can push me away if you don’t want it and I won’t bother you again.” he started, his hand touching your waist tentatively. “Unless you ask of course.” he smirked. “The point is, if you let me kiss you it’ll be hard for me to control myself.”

“How so?” you smirked, your hand touching his arm, as you ran it up to his shoulder. 

“You can’t be that blind, y/n. I’ve always wanted you.” hearing him say that made you shiver in anticipation as your bodies got even closer. 

“Oh yeah? Show me.” you teased, brushing your lips against his. 

Hyunjin’s eyes widened for a moment as he squeezed your waist before he gave you his famous smirk. 

You leaned in and met him in the middle as your lips pressed against each other’s, his lip ring adding a satisfying pressure as he slowly moved his lips against yours. 

The tip of his tongue swiped over your bottom lip and you let him in as his hands slid down to your lower back. 

His tongue moved against yours, his piercing scraping you and adding a spark you never felt before while kissing someone. 

Hyunjin knew what he was doing, his kiss was deliberate and erotic, not what you expected of him as he claimed every inch of your mouth with his tongue. 

Chills ran up your spine when he pressed his body into yours, your legs wrapping around him automatically.

Hyunjin pushed you into the cold tiles of the pool but you didn’t care when you felt his dick pressing right into your core. 

Both of you moaned into the kiss as your nails lightly scraped his shoulders and his fingers came up to the strap of your bathing suit. 

He pulled on it, making it unravel as your breasts fell out for him to play with. 

“Whoops.” he smirked as he leaned back, looking at you with hooded eyes. 

“Nipple piercings would look perfect on you.” he said as he grabbed your tits, massaging them and playing with your nipples.

“Oh really?” you smirked and he nodded, mirroring your smirk as he pinched your nipples. 

You whimpered, grinding against him and he squeezed your breasts, he was grunting as he moved against you, the water splashing around. 

He leaned in, one hand on the back of your head as his lips attached to your skin, leaving kisses on your neck before he licked at it, his piercing tickling you a little. 

“That feels interesting.” you chuckled as he pressed himself closer to you, his skin against yours, making you feel even hotter. 

“What, my piercings?”

“Yeah.” 

“They’d be even more interesting if you’d let me eat you out.” he smirked as you traced his pretty tattoos with your fingers. 

“What, here?” you chuckled. 

“Not here. We can go back to your room.” he bit on his lip as he searched your eyes. 

Well fuck it, you thought, you were already this far, your mind still not realizing the fact that you’re making out with Hwang Hyunjin, your number one enemy or so he used to be. 

“Sure. In a minute.” you smirked, your hand tangling in his hair as you pulled a little making him hiss and bite on his lip. 

You leaned in, wrapping your lips around his adam's apple and Hyunjin whimpered as you sucked on it. 

“Mm, baby.” he whined as you swiped your tongue on it before kissing and lightly biting on his neck. 

He kept grinding against you and your pussy throbbed for him. 

His hands ran down to your ass as he grabbed you and held you in place, grinding faster against you as you kissed the tattoos on his shoulder and arm, your lips then traveling to his collarbone and chest. 

“You’re driving me crazy, princess.” he almost growled, gripping your ass and making you moan against his wet skin. 

“Am I?” your hand snaked between your bodies, until you found his bulge and gripped it. 

“Fuck!” Hyunjin grunted, fucking into your hand immediately but before he could enjoy it further, you decided to tease him and move your hand away.

“We can go now.” you whispered, turned on beyond your mind as Hyunjin clumsily helped you put your bathing suit on. 

The two of you quickly grabbed your stuff, still half wet, you made your way to your room as Hyunjin held your hand, both of you giggling like two horny teengers.

As soon as you walked in, Hyunjin tossed his towel carelessly on the floor, grabbing your wrists and pinning you to the door before you could even react. 

His thigh slotted between your legs and you whimpered as he flexed his muscle.

“Look at you. Falling apart already and I haven’t even touched your pussy.” he smirked and that feeling of annoyance he always used to give you turned you on in this moment, making you feel even more annoyed that you fell under his charm. 

You squirmed but it only resulted in your core grinding against his hard thigh. 

“Asshole.” you whined and he tightened the grip on your wrists, pressing his thigh harder into your throbbing core as he started moving it against you.

“I am.” he chuckled, leaning in and kissing you more passionately than before, his lips forceful against yours. 

You hated admitting it but you were putty in Hyunjin’s arms and he knew it as he smirked against your lips before pushing his tongue inside and swirling it around yours. 

He swallowed every moan as he kept stealing your breath, your pussy dripping with arousal and need. 

“Let go of my hands.” you whimpered as he left kisses on your jaw and neck. 

“Why?” he smirked against your skin, dragging his tongue on the column of your neck before he sank his teeth into your sensitive spot, right below your ear. 

“Ah!” you moaned, jolting into him as he sucked a mark on your skin. “Because I wanna touch you.” you answered his question. 

“Hm, should I let you?” he chuckled against your collarbone, brushing his lips there. 

“I know you want me to.” you whispered in his ear, pressing a kiss to his cheek and Hyunjin let out a shaky breath before finally releasing your wrists. 

Your hands tangled in his hair instantly as you continued making out desperately, grinding against each other. 

Hyunjin’s large hands traveled all over your body, exploring and groping you, his lips and tongue lazily dragging on the outline of your breasts to your stomach as he kneeled before you. 

You looked at him through hooded eyes as he grabbed your leg and hooked it over his shoulder. 

“I thought you said you’d only kneel for me once.” you smirked and he smirked back at you. 

“Guess I was wrong.” he said before mouthing at your thigh, licking and biting, driving you crazy as he came closer to your core. 

Hyunjin grabbed the straps of your bathing suit, undoing them quickly and leaving you bare. 

“Fuck, such a pretty pussy.” he groaned, pushing his face into your core immediately. 

“Ah!” you jolted when he licked a long stripe on your pussy, his piercing catching onto your clit deliciously. 

“Tastes sweet too.” he smirked at you as you whimpered, your fingers tangling in his hair. 

He spread you apart with his fingers, wrapping his plump lips around your clit and sucking on it. 

“Oh god.” you groaned, banging your head against the door as he slurped on your pussy. 

Your thighs trembled as he swiped his tongue over your clit repeatedly, making sure that his piercing gives you stimulation too. 

You were holding back for some reason and Hyunjin seemed to sense it as he pulled back and looked up at you.

“Pull on my hair as much as you need to, sweetheart. You can pull, scratch, bite, I love it.” he smirked. “You can even slap me again if you’d like.” 

You gripped his hair harshly, making him whimper as you brought his face closer to your core again.

“Keep going.” you said and Hyunjin listened immediately, his tongue diving between your folds to slurp up your juices. 

The sounds his mouth was creating as he kept making out with your wet pussy were downright sinful and you were so lost in it, your head thrown back as you shook and kept pulling on his hair that you didn’t even notice Hyunjin had pulled his swim trunks down, his hand wrapped around his dripping cock as he stroked himself.

Hyunjin was loud and sloppy, constantly moaning into you like he was enjoying this even more than you did. 

Your juices mixed with his saliva dripped down his chin while he kept eating you out like a man starved, like your pussy is the best meal he’s ever had. 

“I’m gonna cum!” you whimpered, grinding against his face, his nose pressing perfectly into your clit. 

“Cum in my mouth baby, please!” Hyunjin whined and you shook as your orgasm washed over you, spilling on his tongue and chin. 

“Mm.” he moaned and licked you up. 

“Bed. Now.” he stood up, wiping his chin with the back of his hand and it took you a moment to realize he was completely naked. 

“Oh.” you stared at his dick, salivating at the thought of having him inside you, he was so long and pretty, curved just a little, his tip red and dripping with pre cum. 

He was perfect, and you needed him in any way you could get him. 

“Princess.” Hyunjin chuckled at your obvious drooling. 

He was growing impatient so he scooped you up before you could protest, getting rid of your bra in the process. 

“I need to have you right now.” he rasped, throwing you on the bed and quickly turning you on all fours as he climbed over you and pressed you into the mattress. 

You whimpered pathetically as he held you down with one hand to your back, your pussy dripping and clenching around nothing, waiting to be filled up to the brim. 

“Oh. Teddy.” Hyunjin noticed his friend still chilling on your bed. “This is not for your eyes.” he grabbed the bear and stood up, putting it in the chair and turning him around. 

“Sorry, son.” he added as you stared up at him from the bed and chuckled. 

“He can still hear us, you know.” you said as Hyunjin climbed back up on top of you.

“Mm, I hope everyone does. Don’t want you holdin’ back. I want you to be as loud as you can.” Hyunjin smirked above you, lifting your middle up and snaking his hand around to play with your sensitive clit. 

“Yeah? Then fuck me as hard as you can, Hyunjin.” you moaned, pushing back into him, trying to get him closer. 

“I hope you know what you’re asking for.” 

You felt the tip of his cock prodding at you and you gasped as he slowly pushed in, the tip breaching your entrance and spreading you to take him.

“Oh my god, fuck!” you moaned as he gripped your hips and kept stretching you, pushing more and more in until he bottomed out, his cock finding a warm home inside your clenching pussy.

“You’re so tight, baby.” his eyes rolled back as he pulled out to the tip, then pushed back into you harshly, making you whimper loudly as you fisted the sheets beneath you. 

“Yeah.” he moaned as he started fucking you with a semi-fast pace immediately, his hand coming up to push your face into the mattress. 

“Fuck yeah, take it. Take it like a good slut.” Hyunjin groaned as you whimpered and gasped while he rocked his hips into you hard. 

“H-Hyunjin, ah!” you whimpered when his tip hit the spot and he angled his hips to keep hitting into it hard, the sound of skin slapping skin filling up the room together with the sounds your pussy was making while he kept stuffing you with his cock. 

You couldn’t even hold on and you collapsed down as Hyunjin kept fucking you harshly into the mattress, pulling on your hair and giving you a few harsh spanks that made your ass red instantly. 

You kept babbling nonsense as he fucked you like a mad man, gripping your breasts or your waist, his hands couldn’t decide where to stay ‘cause he wanted all of you. 

Your orgasm shook your whole body, from your head to your toes as you creamed around his throbbing cock for what seemed like the longest time, your pleasure kept prolonging as he brushed against your spot constantly. 

Hyunjin smacked your ass again, a dark chuckle escaping his lips as you whimpered. 

“Fuck, she’s trying to milk me, isn’t she? You want that, baby? You want my cum?” 

“Y-yes, I want it!” you whined. 

“Yeah? Do you really want it?” Hyunjin smirked, teasing you, the annoying bastard. 

“Yes I do!” you moaned as he kept his pace, the weight of his body pressing you down as his breath hit your cheek. 

“Beg for it, darling.” he whispered in your ear and you groaned in annoyance, your fingers digging into the bed. 

You bit on your lip, trying to disobey him as much as you could and he chuckled darkly, grabbing your hands and pinning your wrists on your lower back. 

“You don’t like the way the tables have turned, hm? I don’t hear you begging. Do you want me to stop?” Hyunjin slowed down, his free hand traveling down your thigh and then back up towards your waist, making you shiver. 

“P-please…” you whimpered quietly, losing your mind and dignity. 

“Please what, princess?”

“P-please… Cum inside me, Hyunjin.” you moaned and he chuckled again, picking up speed as he released your hands only to grip your hips. 

You were almost screaming from the strength he was fucking you with, his hips stuttering as he dug his nails into your flesh. 

“Louder baby, louder.” he groaned, you could feel droplets of his sweat falling down and hitting your back. 

You moaned louder and you were sure people could hear you outside but you didn’t care as you came around his length again, moments later Hyunjin finally exploded inside you, filling you up with his warm cum. 

“Fuck, y/n…” he whimpered as he shook above you, pulling out as his arms wrapped around you.

He held you for a few quiet minutes while both of you were trying to catch your breath and calm down. 

He left little kisses on your shoulder as your brain became less foggy and the reality of what happened between you settled in, making your heart skip a beat and then continue to beat fast. 

Hyunjin finally rolled over and got up and you laid still, feeling a little embarrassed and self-conscious.

You remembered swearing to yourself once that you’d never sleep with him or have any kind of relationship with someone who seemingly never takes any of those things seriously but here you were. 

At least you could admit to yourself that he was the best fuck you ever had. 

Hyunjin came back with a warm wet cloth and a water bottle. 

“Let me clean you up.” he said and you looked up at him. “You okay?” 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” you answered dismissively and Hyunjin raised his eyebrow. 

“Drink some water.” he said as you sat up. 

God, he was more beautiful than ever.

His hair disheveled, his body sweaty and on display for you, a loopy smile on his face as he sat there naked, vulnerable, yours. 

“You wanna shower together?” he asked as you put the bottle down. 

“You know this changes everything between us?” you ignored his question and his smile fell. 

“Of course I do.” he touched your cheek, leaning in to kiss you. 

His lips were addicting and you couldn’t push him away. 

“Now let’s get in that shower.”

-

“Hyunjin. Y/n. Come to my room this instant.” Anthony sounded furious when he called you, just as you were eating some breakfast you had ordered after the shower. 

“Can we at least finish eating?” Hyunjin whined with his mouth full, his lips pouty. 

“Now!” Anthony yelled, making Hyunjin jolt as you looked at him with wide eyes. 

“Y’all are in big trouble!” you heard Aiden yell in the background. 

“We’ll be right there.” you said and Anthony hung up. 

“Wow, he sounds really mad.” Hyunjin frowned. 

“Let’s go find out what we did.” 

Anthony’s room wasn’t too far from yours and you were there in a matter of minutes. 

“You two!” Anthony looked like he was fuming, smoke coming out of his ears, his face bright red as his chest rose up and down deeply. 

Ana stood behind him like an angry mother, her hands on her hips as she tapped her foot. 

Aiden and Brendon were sitting on the bed, looking sulky. 

“What is going on?” you asked. 

“Have you two lost your fucking mind?!” Anthony seethed. 

“What did we do?!” Hyunjin’s tone got defensive immediately.

“They didn’t even look at social media.” Ana shook her head. 

“This is what you did!” Anthony gave you his phone and you gasped when you saw it. 

Someone was on the balcony above the hotel pool last night, taking pictures of you and Hyunjin. 

There were hundreds of articles, even a video circling the net where the two of you were going at it, making out passionately and touching each other.

The only lucky thing was that the guy didn’t manage to get any audio. 

You quickly grabbed your phone and saw that you had millions of tags on the pics and comments people left on your posts. 

Most of them were hate comments directed towards you, calling you a whore and lots of other endearing names, others were of horny people saying that Hyunjin was a lucky bastard getting to fuck someone like you. 

They were all demeaning comments, even the ones that seemed to be on ‘your side’. 

Your eyes welled up with tears as you started panicking. 

Hyunjin looked furious. 

“Who is this guy? Is he still in the hotel? ‘Cause if he is, my friends here,” he lifted his fists. “,will come pay him a nice fucking visit.” 

“There’s no point, Hyunjin. It’s already done. This could damage the band, it’s practically a sex tape.” Ana said. 

“I don’t feel so good.” you quickly sat down on the sofa and Hyunjin was on your side immediately. 

“Fuck, this is my fault!” he said frustratingly. “I made you come to the pool with me. I should’ve never done that.”

“You couldn’t predict this Jinnie, it’s not your fault. At least your shoulders were covering up my tits.” you shrugged, swallowing your tears. 

Hyunjin smiled at you as you looked up at him. 

“Something funny?” you asked. 

“No, you just called me Jinnie.” he swooned, his arm wrapping around you. 

“Ew, get a room.” Brendon acted like he was throwing up. 

“Shut up.” Hyunjin warned his bandmate before looking back at you. 

“I knew I’d get under your skin one day.” he whispered in your ear, smirking as he nosed your cheek before pressing a kiss to it. 

“Yeah, yeah. That really ended up biting me in the ass.” you rolled your eyes, shivering a little. 

“Okay, do that later. We need to figure out what to do about this!” Anthony said. 

“Nothing.” Hyunjin shrugged. “I don’t care about it. They didn’t see anything they shouldn’t have. In those pics and videos you can only see my back and the side of y/n’s face. Nothing I’m worried about. I don’t care if they know about us getting together. They’d find out eventually anyways. I’m just glad they didn’t see what’s for my eyes only.” he smirked at you and you smacked his arm annoyingly. 

“Is it now?” 

“Yes, it is.” he nodded. 

“What do you think, y/n?” Ana asked. 

“I agree with Hyunjin to an extent. Lots of celebs had scandals like this and nothing happened to them. I mean, we can still continue with our tour normally, right?”

“Well, we have to. The next show is in 6 hours.” Anthony sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just don’t do this shit again. I will deal with the guy who took these and everything else. The four of you just focus on the show tonight and no more fucking in public places.”

“Is that a challenge?” Hyunjin smirked and you smacked him again. 

“Ow!” he whined and you rolled your eyes. 

You were still trying to process that all your fans have seen you kissing Hyunjin. 

-

It was almost time for the show and Hyunjin insisted on getting ready in your room, dragging his luggage there. 

Ever since last night, you couldn’t pry him off of you. 

Currently, he was sitting on your bed shirtless, all of his makeup and skincare products thrown haphazardly in front of him as he rummaged through them. 

You quickly grabbed your phone, taking a few pics of his cute pouty thinking face as he sifted through his eyeshadows. 

You pressed play on your phone, now filming a video. 

You zoomed in on his face and snorted.

“Here we can see the last brain cell of Hwang Hyunjin trying to plan out a suitable makeup look for the show tonight.” you said and he looked up, his face breaking into a smile. 

“And here we can witness the last brain cell of y/n l/n focusing so hard on me.” he said into the camera, puffing his chest out.

“Riiiiight.” you zoomed in on his nipples. 

“Are you filming my tits?” he asked, chuckling. 

“Maybe.” you smirked at him. 

“And I’m the deviant one. Can you believe this teddy?” he looked at his plush friend who was chilling on the bed next to him. 

You turned the camera to the bear as Hyunjin grabbed its head and shook it left and right in disapproval. 

You turned it off with a giggle, putting your phone aside as you stood up and made your way towards the bed. 

Hyunjin looked up at you as you neared him. 

You sat behind him, your hands on his back instantly. 

“What are you thinking of doing?” you asked, lips pressing into his flower tattoos. 

“I’m thinking you’re gonna make me hard again if you keep touching me.” he looked back at you. 

“Are you that easy?” you smirked as you kept kissing him tentatively, your hands on his waist, caressing him. 

“For you, definitely.” he said, grabbing a small eyeshadow palette. 

“Good to know.” you smirked as you kept kissing him, your hands roaming on his abs. 

“Do you think I should get a belly button piercing?” he asked as you touched him, your fingers dipping down to his happy trail as you played with it, making him shiver. 

“Why not? It would look sexy on you.” you answered, moving his hair to the side so you could attach your lips to his neck. 

“You really want to distract me, huh?” he let out a breath, trying to get his smoky eye look right while you teased him. 

“Mhm.” you kept kissing, licking and biting on him while he put his makeup on. 

“Shit!” he exclaimed, jolting as your hand snaked down to palm his growing bulge. 

“I almost poked my eye out!” he whined, but still leaned into you. 

“Shh. Concentrate.” you smirked against his skin, your hand traveling into his pants as you gripped him. 

“Naughty girl.” he smirked, looking at your lustful expression in the mirror he held up while finishing up his look. 

“Oh yes.” you grinned, taking his cock out and stroking him. 

“Y/n.” Hyunjin whined. “W-what do you think?” he turned a little, showing you his finished look as you played with his slit. 

“Pretty.” you smirked, your other hand caressing his thigh before you grabbed his balls unexpectedly. 

“Ah!” he moaned, leaning back into you as he tossed the eyeshadow palette aside. 

You sped up and Hyunjin gave in so easily that you were impressed, he was completely putty in your embrace, letting you have your way with him. 

“Wait! Turn my son around, please.” he said and you chuckled, squeezing him and earning a groan from him. 

“He can’t see anyways. My back is turned towards him.” you looked back at the teddy as your hand traveled up to Hyunjin’s nipples, playing with them as you continued stroking him. 

“O-okay.” he moaned, lifting up and fucking into your hand. 

“You like it, hm?” you nibbled on his ear as he thrashed against you. 

“Y-yeah. Don’t stop, oh my god!” he grunted, gripping at your thighs as you pressed into his back, your legs wrapped around him, your hand skillfully playing with his throbbing cock. 

“You wanna cum, Jinnie?” you giggled. 

“Yes, please.” 

“You’re cute when you beg.” you bit on his neck.

“Shut up!” he groaned but continued fucking up into your hand, desperately chasing his high. 

You laughed, licking at the new bruise you created on his neck as you doubled your efforts. 

Hyunjin mewled, his legs trembling as you jerked him off fast, flicking your wrist. 

“Fuck!” he groaned as he dug his nails into your thighs, his length twitching in your hold, as he spilled all over your hand and his stomach. 

You chuckled, kissing his cheek and jawline. 

“That was unexpected and hot.” he looked back at you and you shrugged.

“What can I say, I’m full of surprises like that.” smirking, you got up. 

“Well get dressed, we’re on in less than an hour.” you said smugly, enjoying the way you had Hyunjin literally in the palm of your hand. 

“Already?! Fuck!” he got up, running to the bathroom looking silly and almost tripping over his sweatpants as you laughed at him. 

“Laugh now, until I get back at you, darling!” he yelled out.

“Can’t wait!” you shook your head with a smile, packing the rest of your stuff. 

Everyone gathered at the bus, the roadies helping with putting your stuff back in as they had already unloaded everything needed for the venue. 

Hyunjin grabbed your wrist, scaring you for a moment as you were looking at your phone. 

“What?” you looked up at him, seeing his mischievous expression. 

“Come here for a sec.” he led you away, tucking both of you behind the parked bus. 

“Wha-” he stopped you as he cupped your face and pressed his lips against yours.

You melted into him, wrapping your hands around his waist, bringing him closer as your bodies pressed together.

“Our good luck kiss.” he said when you parted. 

“Sure.” you giggled, kissing him once again. “Let’s go before they get mad at us.” you added. 

“Just so you know…” his hand traveled down as he cupped your pussy through your pants, making you gasp in shock as you gripped at his shoulders. 

“I will have my way with you later.” he smirked, kissing your forehead like he wasn’t saying nasty shit to you.

“If I let you.” you pushed him a little but he just chuckled. 

“Oh, you’ll be begging for it, sweetheart.” 

-

The show was fun and crazy like always, the fans that were there didn’t seem to care about the ‘sex tape’ scandal, everyone was enjoying the performance. 

Hyunjin was even more energetic than usual, jumping up and down, dancing, screaming and doing all sorts of crazy shit. 

He made a point of looking back at you multiple times with the biggest smile on his face. 

In the middle of the performance, Hyunjin took his tanktop off as it was clinging to his sweaty body and getting in the way, so he tossed it into the audience and people almost beat each other up to grab it. 

You smirked to yourself, they may have his sweaty shirt but you had all of him last night. 

Hyunjin flirted with the fans of course, this time coming down closer to them and letting them touch him. 

You would lie if you said it didn’t make you mad, you were realizing it just then; you wanted Hyunjin all to yourself. 

Your mind managed to spiral even on stage while you played the familiar grooves automatically, and flashes of Hyunjin with different girls ran through your mind. 

What if this was just a fling?

What if he didn’t look at this seriously?

You didn’t want to fall for him but in your mind you knew it was already too late. 

You hoped he wasn’t just using you because having your heart broken for what feels like the hundredth time in your life isn’t something you’d want to go through again. 

Especially not with him. 

When the show ended and you ran backstage, Hyunjin wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up, spinning you around as you squealed.

“Put me down, I’m gonna puke!” you whined, feeling dizzy. 

He put you down before crashing his lips against yours. 

“I want you so bad right now.” he muttered against your lips as you touched his chest. 

“You should wash off the fans’ handprints first.” you pushed him and he chuckled. 

“Aw, are you jealous?” he grinned. 

“No, you’re just gross.” 

“Liar. You’re so jealous.” 

“Am not.”

“Don’t worry, baby. I’m all yours.” he smirked. 

“Sure.” you said and Hyunjin frowned, pursing his lips. 

“Let’s go party, assholes!” Aiden appeared, all giddy from the show, stopping Hyunjin mid-thought. 

“Yeah, and put on a shirt, Hwang!” Brendon winked with a smirk. 

You were dragged to an exclusive afterparty without your consent but you were thirsty anyways so you ordered a beer. 

During the evening as you mingled, you lost sight of Hyunjin. 

“Where’s Hyunjin?” you asked Aiden as he joined you at the bar. 

“Beats me.” he shrugged. 

You were about to look for him when he walked in, stumbling as some random girl held onto his wrists. 

“What the hell?” you muttered, anger overtaking you instantly. 

She was all over him, and you noticed he was trying to push her away but was too drunk. 

You made your way towards them when suddenly she slapped him across the face and you gasped, boiling with anger. 

“Hey, bitch.” you said as you stood next to Hyunjin and her eyes widened when she saw you. 

“Y/n! You’re here!” Hyunjin clung onto you immediately, his face dazed. 

You ignored him as you lifted your hand up, dealing a strong slap to the girl’s face. 

She gasped, holding onto her cheek as she almost tripped over her feet.

“Touch him again and I’ll break your fake nose.” 

“Woah!” Hyunjin stumbled as he held onto your arm. “She’s serious, I wouldn’t mess with her.” he said to the girl who quickly scrambled away.

“Baby. You defended me.” he pouted at you, trying to kiss you. 

“Oh my god, Hyunjin. You’re shitfaced. Come on, we’re leaving, you need some air.” you led him out, quickly telling Aiden you’ll be by the bus. 

“Why did she even slap you?”

“I might’ve called her a whore?” he grimaced. “She tried to kiss me and I said no! I have a girlfriend! I meant you.”

“Yes, I understand Hyunjin.” you shook your head, your face heating up. 

“That was so hot how you slapped her.” Hyunjin nuzzled into you as he hugged you from the back while you were trying to unlock the bus door so you could find a water bottle for him. 

“Yeah?” 

“Mhm. My cheek hurts though. Will you kiss it better?” he asked, burying his face into your hair. 

“Sure. As soon as you sober up a little.” you said, finally opening the door as the two of you climbed in. 

“You know what else hurts?” Hyunjin smirked, leaning on the table and almost falling down. 

“What?” you raised your eyebrow, grabbing a water bottle out of the fridge.

“My dick.” he grinned. 

“Just shut up and drink some water.” you shoved the water in his hand as he giggled. 

You were annoyed, wondering if you were overthinking things and Hyunjin acting all nonchalant made you feel even more angry. 

That kind of attitude he always had bugged you, it seemed as if he took everything in stride, as if he wasn’t afraid of losing anything, as if he took nothing seriously, like nothing mattered to him other than himself. 

“What’s wrong?” he pouted, trying to hug you.

And you hated how he could read you like a book. 

“Nothing. We’ll talk when you’re sober.” you said, folding your arms on your chest. 

“Are you mad at me?” he swallowed. 

“I don’t know.” you shrugged. 

“You don’t know?” he tilted his head as you avoided his eyes. 

“I’m mad at myself.”

“Why?”

“Because… Just because.” you shook your head. “I don’t wanna get into it.”

“Is it because of the girl?” he looked at you confusedly.

“No Hyunjin, it’s because of all the girls. The way you act like it means nothing to you so whatever this is between us probably doesn’t matter to you either. You only look to satisfy yourself, not caring about hurting someone else’s feelings. And frankly, I can’t deal with that. I can’t believe I’m saying this to you but I want something real, I don’t want to be used for your pleasure and then thrown away like I was just one of your little groupies.” you couldn’t stop talking, a weight lifting off of your chest. 

“Is that all you think of me? That I’m so shallow and conceited?” he asked, seemingly sobered up all of a sudden.

“I’ve never seen proof of the opposite.” 

“Fuck then let me prove it to you! Of course I care about your feelings, y/n and I never looked at you as one of those groupies. I don’t need anyone but you and this means everything to me.” he shook his head. 

“What?” you were in disbelief, Hyunjin had never sounded so serious before. 

“There you are.” Ana came in, followed by the rest of the gang, and you leaned away from Hyunjin.

“I’m gonna go shower.” you used the situation to slip away. 

Your thoughts were racing as you stood under the warm water. 

Was he telling the truth?

You went through a rollercoaster of emotions, too exhausted to think after the whole day. 

You laid in your bunk as everyone settled in to sleep after showering and eating some dinner. 

It didn’t take long for Hyunjin to climb up. 

“Hey.” he whispered as you sat, expecting him to show up. 

“Hey.” you said and he smiled. 

“So, are you gonna give me a chance?” he bit on his lip, playing with his lip ring nervously. 

You sighed, studying his expression. 

He looked sincere, scared even, his eyes becoming big as he pleaded. 

“Okay.” you said and he chuckled.

“Yes!” he exclaimed.

“Shh. You’ll wake everyone up. And don’t fucking waste this chance, Hyunjin. Because it’s the only one you’ll get.” you warned him as he crawled closer to you.

“I promise I’ll make the best of it.” he said, leaning in to kiss you. 

You didn’t even realize how much you missed his kisses, when it has been hours since you last felt his sweet lips on yours. 

“Remember what I said earlier?” he smirked, lowering his voice as his hands massaged your thighs. 

“Mm?” you mirrored his smirk, pretending to be clueless.

“I’m gonna have my way with you now.” he grabbed you, pulling you to lay under him as you gasped in surprise. 

Hyunjin’s fingers trailed up your thigh with feather-like touches up your already dripping pussy. 

He ran his fingertips over your clothed folds, drawing a deep breath from you. 

“I took off my rings.” he whispered, wiggling his fingers.

“I can see that.” you whispered back as he found your clit, pressing into it and touching you teasingly, slowly.

 He kept smirking at you smugly as he hooked his fingers into your shorts, pulling them down with your panties, noticing you wore lacy ones under your pjs. 

“Cute panties. Shame they came off too soon.” he giggled as you lightly slapped his arm, your face becoming red in embarrassment.

“I’m keeping them.” he said, putting them aside as you rolled your eyes with a smirk. 

Hyunjin leaned over you, his face inches away from you as his lips hovered over yours. 

“You have to be a good girl and keep quiet. Can you do that, princess?” he said, his fingers back on your clit as he started massaging it in circles, making you arch your back towards him. 

“Y-yeah.” you whispered, your eyes fluttering.

“If you make a sound, I will stop.” Hyunjin gave you that famous shit eating grin.

“No, I’ll be quiet!” you whispered.

“Good. Now shut up, darling.” he said with a smirk, his fingers teasing your folds. 

You bit on your lip as he teased you, playing with your clit as he pinched it occasionally, almost making you moan. 

He was enjoying how wet you were getting as he concentrated on your sensitive nub, his other hand traveling beneath your shirt to play with your breasts. 

“You look so cute like this.” he said and you wanted to slap him for the condescending tone he used, but at the same time your pussy clenched, a gush of arousal dripping out of you. 

“You know why?” he added as he observed you, his fingers dipping between your wet folds as he teased you. 

You shook your head no. 

“Because only I get to see you like this. Only I get to unravel you, sweetheart.” he looked at you lustfully as he slowly pushed his fingers in, making you gasp as your legs trembled for a moment. 

Your pussy sucked two of his fingers right in as he chuckled under his breath. 

“You take me so well.” he bit on his lip as he slowly moved his fingers, massaging your inner walls. 

“Ngh.” you moaned, pushing up into his hand, begging for more, deeper, faster. 

“Sweet girl.” he whispered, leaning in to kiss your jawline and neck. 

You melted, your legs opening up completely for him as he fucked into you a bit faster, curling his fingers to find that spot. 

“Look at you.” he pinched your nipple and you swallowed a moan. “So giving.” Hyunjin chuckled darkly as your legs shook. 

He sped up, finding that spot and making you moan quietly as you bit on your lip hard. 

“Am I making it difficult for you?” 

The fucking bastard. 

“Answer me.” he said sternly and you whimpered. 

“Yes, you are.” you said and Hyunjin chuckled.

“Good.”

The bunk bed filled up with sounds of your wet pussy as you dripped all over his hand, your entire body was trembling, your heart beating fast as your eyes rolled in the back of your head, you’ve never been this aroused in your life.

“T-they’re gonna hear…” you whimpered silently as Hyunjin kept abusing your pussy with his fingers, pistoning them into your heat as you clenched around him, trying to ignore the enormous pressure building up inside you. 

“Oh yes, they are. They’ll hear what a filthy slut you are for me. They’ll hear your little pussy sucking my fingers in. You’re so nasty, baby.” he fucked you even harder as you gasped.

“F-fuck! I-I can’t…” you thrashed against the bed, tears gathering in your eyes as you tried to squeeze your legs around his arm involuntarily. 

“Come on, let go for me.” he looked smug as he fucked you fast, his eyes full of lust. 

You almost cried out, biting on your lower lip hard, drawing blood as the metallic taste filled up your mouth, making your mind float. 

“God, you really want to edge yourself.” he smirked.

Tears slid down your cheeks as you trembled violently and you bit down on your arm, finally not being able to hold in anymore as you exploded, squirting all over your thighs and Hyunjin’s hand as he fucked you through your orgasm, his other hand abusing your sensitive clit. 

“That’s my good girl. I’m proud of you.” he pulled his fingers out as you gasped, watching him as he licked at his hand. 

You were in shock, never having finished this violently that the muscles in your legs were cramping, never has a man managed to make you squirt. 

“Y/n?” Hyunjin leaned over you, wiping your tears. 

“I-I never squirted before.” you admitted and Hyunjin smiled proudly. 

“Really?” he looked excited suddenly and you chuckled. 

“Really.” you nodded. 

“Well, I’m gonna make you squirt again.” he smirked and you looked down, realizing he was stroking himself. 

You had no idea when he took his pants off. 

“Mhm.” you wrapped your legs around him. 

“Mm. So wet.” he pressed his tip against you, massaging your folds with it. 

“Just put it in.” you gripped at him and he smiled, burying his face in your neck. 

“A little needy, I see.” he said and you made your point by bringing him closer with your legs so that his tip slipped inside you, making him moan into your skin quietly. 

“You’re just as needy for me.” you tangled your hand in his soft hair, inhaling his shampoo, your other hand caressing his back as he pushed his cock inside you slowly, bottoming out as you gasped quietly.

“I am.” he said, kissing your neck as he started rocking his hips into you, his hands gripping your waist. 

“I’m not gonna last long. Watching you squirt for me almost made me cum.”

“Mm, it’s okay, Jinnie.” you wrapped your arms around him as he whimpered quietly into your skin. 

“Say that again.” he nibbled at your ear, rutting into you desperately. 

“What, Jinnie?”

“Yeah.” his cock was hitting all the right spots inside you, the pressure you felt before building up quickly again. 

You dug your nails into his shoulders and he hissed, biting on your neck, his hand on your hip and the other on your breast as he squeezed it. 

“Jinnie. My Jinnie.” you whined quietly and he groaned as the bed started creaking, now it was more than obvious what you were doing. 

“Fuck, tell me I’m yours.” Hyunjin moaned, grabbing your wrists and pinning them on either side of your head as his hips snapped into yours, his pubic hair brushing against your clit deliciously, adding more friction to your sensitive parts. 

“You’re mine, Hyunjin. All mine.” you moaned and he kissed you sloppily as you clenched around his cock. 

“I’m all yours, princess.” he pressed his forehead against yours and you whimpered, exploding around him as you squirted again, your nails drawing blood on his back. 

“Shit!” Hyunjin’s entire body trembled as he pushed deeper inside you, his cock twitching as he filled you up with spurts of hot cum. 

“Mm.” you moaned. 

“Take it all, baby. Milk me dry.” he groaned as your eyes filled up with tears of pleasure and you came once again, squeezing around his length, forcing him to spill every little drop he had inside you. 

“Fuck.” Hyunjin collapsed on top of you, both of you wet and sweaty as you wrapped around each other. 

“You think they heard?” you asked after some time and Hyunjin lifted up to look at you, caressing your face.

“Oh yeah, definitely.” he smirked.

“Bastard.” you squinted your eyes with a smile as he giggled. 

“You can call me anything you want as long as you keep calling me yours.” he said, kissing your lips gently. 

“I take it this is your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?” you asked, carding your fingers through his damp hair.

“I don’t have to ask, baby. You’re already mine.” he bit on his lip, his eyes filling up with lust again. 

He was going to drive you crazy and you loved it. 

-

The next morning as Hyunjin and you walked into the living area of the bus, everyone looked up at you with knowing smirks. 

“Oh, Jinnie, ah!” Aiden started moaning so Hyunjin came up to him and smacked the back of his head. 

“Shut up, dickhead.” Hyunjin said as your face heated up. 

“So, are you guys like together now?” Brendon asked. 

“Yes, we are.” you answered, pouring yourself some coffee.

“Finally! Y’all owe me 20 bucks each!” Brendon said as everyone around the table groaned.

“You bet on us getting together?” 

“We all bet on when you are going to get together. I was the closest.” he smirked as you shook your head. 

Hyunjin ignored them, pulling you to sit in his lap. 

“You two are gonna be disgusting all the time now.” Aiden scrunched his face up. 

“You’re just jealous.” Hyunjin smirked at his friend, pulling you flush against his back as you sipped on your coffee. 

“Yeah, I am.” Aiden sighed. “Oh, now we have two couples here.” he added and everyone looked at Ana and Anthony who were quiet almost the whole time. 

“Oh I knew there was something there.” you chuckled. 

“Well… seems like we’re still single.” Brendon winked at Aiden, his hand on Aiden’s thigh as he leaned in, making an exaggerated kissy face at him.

“Ew, get away from me!” Aiden pushed him as everyone laughed. 

“Gimme a sip.” Hyunjin leaned on your shoulder, pursing his lips as he looked at your coffee cup. 

You giggled, turning on his lap a little as you gave him your coffee. 

The bus parked in the designated place as Stu joined you.

“I’m not even gonna ask.” he looked at the two of you.

“By the way, I have something for you.” Hyunjin whispered, kissing your shoulder as everyone got back to scrolling on their phones or conversing. 

“Oh yeah? What is it?” 

“Come, I’ll show you outside. Bring the coffee.” he nudged you with his leg and you squealed, getting up. 

The two of you sat nearby, as Hyunjin pulled out his cigarettes. 

“Want one?” he asked. 

“We can share.” you shrugged and he smiled, lighting it up. 

He puffed out the smoke then took a sip of coffee.

“So, what did you want to show me?” 

“You know how I have a favorite guitar pick? My lucky red one, I always play with it?” he started.

“Yes, what about it?” you asked, curiously tilting your head. 

He reached into his pocket, smiling as his cheeks became rosy.

“I made it into a necklace for you.” 

“Oh.” your heart skipped a beat, you were touched. “When did you do that?” 

“Well, after that night I slept over in your bunk bed for the first time.” Hyunjin admitted, looking at his feet.

“Woah. Then?” you were shocked at the revelation. 

“Yeah, I knew you’d be mine before the end of the tour.” he smirked.

“Did you now?” you asked, grabbing the cigarette from his hand.

“It was my mission to annoy you so much that you finally cave.” he wiggled his eyebrows and you puffed the smoke out into his face.

“Well, it worked.” you said. 

“I’m glad it did.” he motioned for you to turn around so he could put the necklace on you. 

“Thank you, this is really sweet.” you said as you played with it. 

“No need to thank me. I, ugh, also wanna tell you something.” he added and you nodded.

“Are you aware that you inspired almost all of my songs? So, it’s kinda funny that you’re playing songs that are actually about you.” he said and you choked on the coffee as you started coughing. 

“Shit, are you okay?” he quickly tapped your back with his hand.

“Some of the songs are years old…” you said as he cautiously took the cigarette from between your fingers and brought it to his lips.

“Mhm.” he nodded, looking at you as you processed the information. 

“You… always liked me?” you frowned and Hyunjin nodded.

“But why did you bug me like that all the time, making me think you hate me?” you asked. 

“This is gonna sound like a bunch of bullshit. But you seemed to hate me from the day we met and I was scared of you. I thought if I ever tried to approach you normally you’d spit in my face and tell me to fuck off.” 

“You’re right. That does sound like a bunch of bullshit.” you looked at him annoyingly as you pinched his arm hard, making him yelp.

“What was that for?!” he whimpered.

“For being an idiot.” you said and he whined. 

“What did I do now?” 

“I liked you right away, Hyunjin. But I saw how you treated Macy, and concluded that you were just some pretty heartless bastard who played with girls like they’re toys so I decided to hate you so I’d stop liking you.” 

“Who’s Macy?” he looked at you confusedly and you pinched him again.

“Ow!” he yelped, rubbing at his arm. 

“The girl you dated back then? The curly blonde who worked in the company?”

“Oh, I forgot her name. We only hooked up like four times. It meant nothing to me- ow!” you pinched his arm again.

“Stop with the abuse!” he whined and you chuckled.

“See, that is exactly what I was talking about.” you scolded him and he pouted.

“I know you just called me a heartless bastard but you also called me pretty so I’m gonna ignore the rest.” he said, making a weird face as he leaned away from you.

“What are you doing?” you gave him the elevator eyes.

“Trying not to get pinched again?” he answered and you let out a laugh.

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again.” you said and he squinted at you.

“Look, I promise!” you lifted your hands up in surrender.

Hyunjin exhaled, chuckling as he moved the coffee cup aside and scooted closer to you, wrapping his arm around you. 

“I promise I know your name.” he teased.

“Hyunjin!” you smacked his chest, laughing as he chuckled, pulling you into a hug.

“In all seriousness, I plan on being totally devoted to you.” he said, kissing your cheek. “You’re my ride or die.”

“I like that.” you smiled, your heart leaping out of your chest as butterflies swarmed in your stomach. 

“Me too.” Hyunjin leaned in, kissing you passionately as you almost climbed into his lap.

“Save that for later, we need to practice!” Brendon yelled suddenly and the two of you parted, seeing everyone piled up on the windows, staring at you.

“Nosy bastards.” you chuckled fondly as Hyunjin pecked your lips.

“Come on, we gotta rock the stage tonight.” he got up, reaching his hand towards you. 

You knew tonight was going to be completely different. 

And it was.

You listened to the lyrics carefully, realizing that Hyunjin had really been singing about you this whole time and you were clueless, thinking he was writing songs about his little groupies or the girls he hooked up with, but there was only one girl who was his muse and it was you. 

-

It was quiet in the bus the next morning, the end of the tour was near so  Hyunjin and you decided to take some time to chill in the back of the vehicle.

There was a big bed there, and when your friends saw the two of you leaving to the ‘fuck room’ as the called it, they decided to disperse away, with Aiden yelling ‘Don’t forget to change the sheets!’ as he left.

You were enjoying a peaceful moment, Hyunjin sitting on the bed with his guitar as he picked at it absentmindedly, playing random melodies. 

You were looking up tattoo designs, thinking that it was finally time to get one of your own. 

Hyunjin’s playing soothed you and you were lulled into a calm state until he started playing a familiar melody, making you jolt. 

You turned to look at him and he grinned at you. 

Hyunjin was playing your warm up song, the one you wrote when you were little. 

“H-how did you-” you started and he chuckled. 

“You think I never paid attention to you?” he licked his lip as he continued playing. 

“Stalker.” you smiled, your face heating up. 

“A romantic stalker.” he snickered and you shook your head at him. 

He smiled at you fondly, suddenly singing the lyrics. 

You couldn’t believe he knew the song by heart, it almost made your eyes tear up so you turned away from him. 

Hyunjin stopped playing and you felt the bed shift before he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against him. 

“I’m sorry if I upset you.” he whispered, peppering your cheek and jaw with kisses. 

“No, I was touched. That song means a lot to me.” you said as Hyunjin squeezed you tighter. 

“I know, baby.” he said, dragging his bottom lip on your skin, his lip ring brushing against you and making you shiver. 

“Are you looking up tattoo designs?” Hyunjin peered over your shoulder, leaning his chin on it. 

“Yeah, but I can’t find a perfect one.”

“I can sketch one for you.” he said and you looked back at him.

“You’d do that?” you asked and he nodded with a smile. 

“Of course! We could even get matching tattoos.” he smirked. 

“You do know those are forever?” you bit on your lip and Hyunjin’s cheeks flushed.

“Yeah, I know.” 

You searched his eyes for a moment before turning towards him and crashing your lips into his.

Hyunjin moaned against you as you kissed him desperately, your tongue playing with his lip ring shortly before you pushed it into his mouth. 

Hyunjin’s eyes rolled back as you gripped his hair, pulling his head back harshly. 

He groaned, grabbing at your waist and you pressed your middle into his, grinding against him instantly. 

“B-baby…” he whimpered against your lips as you felt him grow under you. 

“Jinnie.” you smirked, your lips on his jaw and neck as you slid your arms under his shirt, caressing his abs. 

Hyunjin let out the most delicious moans as you kissed him and touched him, every little sound made more arousal gather on your panties. 

He chased your lips when you looked up at him but you pressed your palms on his chest, pushing him down on the bed as he fell with a thud, his arms on either side of his head.

He smirked at you as you tugged at his clothes. 

“Princess, are you needy for me?” he asked, his voice raspy and eyes lustful as you practically ripped his pants off. 

“Shut up Hyunjin. I’m gonna use you.” you smirked, taking his shirt off. 

“Use me however you want, baby. It’s all yours - ah!” he whined when you slid his boxers down, grabbing his cock and playing with it, teasing his slit with your thumb as you slid down. 

“Y/n…” Hyunjin gasped when your breath hit his navel. 

You didn’t answer, you were too busy as you licked a stripe on his length, following the vein all the way to the tip where you played with his slit. 

“Oh my god!” Hyunjin groaned. 

You giggled, your eyes crazed with lust as you spit on his cock, jerking off only his tip and Hyunjin’s legs trembled for a moment. 

“Fuck, you’re so nasty baby.” he hissed. 

“Am I?” you leaned in closer, teasing his tip with your tongue again. 

“Stop teasing me.” Hyunjin already sounded breathless. 

“Or what?” you smirked before wrapping your lips around him as you started sucking him off fast instantly, like he was the tastiest lollipop and Hyunjin jolted, moaning loudly. 

“Shit!” he exclaimed as you sucked him off like no tomorrow, quickly swallowing his entire length as your nose pressed into his pubic hair, the tip of his cock hitting the back of your throat and making you gag around him.

Hyunjin gathered your hair into a makeshift ponytail as you gripped his thighs, bracing yourself while you sucked him dry. 

“Such a nasty slut. Drooling all over my dick. You like choking on it, hm?” he smirked and you moaned around him, your pussy begging for attention. 

Hyunjin whined, his head hitting the pillow as he fucked up into your mouth. 

Just as you felt that he was close, you quickly pulled off when he least expected it.

“Why’d you stop?” he almost cried out but stopped himself as you started stripping. 

“I’m gonna ride you.” you said and he chuckled. 

“Do what you want with me.” he gripped onto your hips as you adjusted above him, grabbing his cock and running the tip on your folds. 

You slid down, taking all of him in as both of you moaned at the feeling. 

“Mm, so warm and wet baby.” Hyunjin pushed up into you immediately. “I need you, y/n. Please fuck me.”

He looked so desperate after you edged him with your mouth and you enjoyed seeing him like that, falling apart for you, his hair splayed everywhere around his head, his forehead sweaty, his face twisted somewhere between pleasure and pain, lips swollen as he kept biting on them, his hands gripping at you like you were his life line. 

You put your hands on his chest as you started fucking on him fast, your thighs slapping against him, making him whimper as the bed shook and Hyunjin gripped at the sheets, fucking up into you to meet your pace. 

“Y/n, fuck! Harder, fuck me harder!” he begged and you gathered all your strength, fucking on him as hard as you could and he grunted loudly, holding your hips as he fucked up into you. 

“That’s it. Good girl. I’m gonna carve the shape of my cock in your pretty pussy.” he smirked between gasps and you whimpered loudly, exploding all over his cock, lifting up and squirting on his twitching length. 

Hyunjin let out an animalistic groan when he saw that, grabbing your arms and swiftly turning you around, pressing your knees to your shoulders as you gasped, dizzy from your orgasm and the sudden movement. 

He didn’t give you any time to recover as he pushed his dick deep inside you, your pussy taking him immediately. 

“Ah!” you moaned loudly. 

Hyunjin looked crazed as he fucked you hard immediately, his hands grabbing at your breasts. 

“You’re gonna be mine forever, princess. I’ll fill you up good and make sure of that.” 

“H-Hyunjin.” you gasped, throwing your head back as you dug your nails into his biceps. 

“Mm, y/n.” he whined as his hips stuttered and you came around him again, your pussy gripping his cock. 

Hyunjin grabbed your hand as he came hard, filling you up with what seemed like endless ropes of hot cum. 

“I love you.” he breathed out and your eyes widened, your core clenching around his softening cock. 

His eyes widened when he realized what he said, both of you frozen for a moment. 

Hyunjin looked panicked immediately but you grabbed his face, making him look at you. 

“I love you.” you smiled and he visibly melted. 

You heard voices outside, both of you gasping as you jerked away from each other, quickly picking your clothes up. 

“Are y’all done fucking?” Brendon yelled from the front as you got dressed clumsily while Hyunjin tried to gather the dirty sheets. 

Embarrassment washed over you when you felt his cum seep out of you, dripping on your panties. 

“No we’re not!” Hyunjin yelled and you chuckled. 

“I don’t want them to come in here yet.” he pulled you into his chest. 

“Why?” you looked up at him. 

“I- I meant what I said, y/n. I love you.” he said. 

“I love you too, Jinnie. I also hate you just a little, sometimes.” you joked and he giggled.

“That’s okay, as long as you turn that hate into passion.” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Of course.” you promised and he leaned in to kiss you gently.

-

Six months later…

jinnie<3: babe i have a surprise for you

you: should i be worried?

jinnie<3: maybe… no?

you: just come home

You shook your head with a giggle, today was exactly six months since Hyunjin and you started dating. 

You didn’t waste much time, moving in together only a few weeks after the tour ended. 

Hyunjin was more clingy than you anticipated but you wouldn’t have him any other way. 

You waited for him to come home, hugging teddy as you sat on the sofa, both of you wrapped in a blanket. 

Dinner was already finished and Hyunjin’s gift was ready, the lacy black and red set right under the inconspicuous pjs you had on. 

“Honey, I’m home!” he snickered as he came in, slamming the door behind him before he all but ran to you. 

“Careful.” you laughed as he tripped over the carpet.

He gave you a pointed look but his arms wrapped around you and teddy as he hugged you tightly.

“Missed you.” he nuzzled into your hair and you giggled. 

“We missed you too.” you said and he leaned back.

“Do you think teddy missed me more than you did?” he teased.

“Oh definitely.” you smirked and he pouted so you pulled him into another hug, and he yelped.

“Ow. Be careful.” he jolted and you squinted your eyes at him.

“What did you do, Hyunjin?”

“Remember when I asked if a belly button piercing would suit me?” he grimaced.

“Did you get a belly button piercing?!” you gasped and Hyunjin chuckled before he took his shirt off. 

Sure enough, there was a fresh piercing above his belly button. 

“Oh wow. It’s perfect.” you bit on your lip and he exhaled.

“I’m glad you like it.” he said, looking relieved.

“Is that my gift?” you chuckled. 

“Kind of, but also this.” he pulled out his sketchbook, flipping through the pages. 

“It’s the tattoo you wanted, I finished designing it.” he showed you the sketch and you gasped. 

“Hyunjin! This is beautiful!”

“It’ll look even more beautiful on you.” he leaned in to kiss you. 

“I wanna do it as soon as I can.” you said and he chuckled.

“Maybe we could add our matching tattoo then.” Hyunjin’s cheeks flushed.

“Oh? You have an idea for that?”

“Yeah but stop me if it’s too cheesy or if you don’t like it.” he said, looking nervous all of a sudden as he flipped through his sketchbook again. 

“Just show me.” you smiled and he gave you the sketchbook. 

“See it’s part of a rose for you and part for me, my vision was to have it tattooed on the side of our thumbs so when we hold hands, it becomes one flower. What do you think?” 

You stared at him for a moment as your heart fluttered. 

“Hyunjin, that’s so sweet. I love that idea.” you caressed his cheek as he smiled. 

“I’m glad you do.” 

Both of you leaned in, your lips meeting in a tender kiss. 

“Where’s my gift?” he smirked and you snickered, lowering your shirt a little, just so you could tease him with a glimpse of the lacy bra. 

“Oh. You wore the set.” he licked his lips. “Mm, the best gift ever.” his eyes became foggy in a second as he leaned in with pursed lips.

“Nuh-uh!” you put your finger on his lips. “No dessert before dinner.” you smirked and he rolled his eyes with a smile. 

“Fine, I’ll eat you up later. There’ll be nothing left of you just so you know, darling.” Hyunjin said, burying his face in your neck and inhaling the sweet perfume you put on for him, the one that drives him absolutely insane. 

“Also, please put on a shirt before I explode.” you added as he leaned back and he laughed, his body shaking with it. 

“Sorry.” he winked, getting dressed.

Hyunjin chased you to the kitchen as you grabbed teddy and started running from him, squealing as you rounded the table. 

He tricked you, going left then right and you fell for it, your body ending up in his comforting embrace. 

“I think teddy is hungry.” Hyunjin said, making you giggle.

“Mhm, and what about Jinnie?” you smirked and he chuckled. 

“Jinnie is starving.” he whined dramatically.

As the apartment filled up with warm laughter, the first snowflakes started falling outside, signifying a new beginning, a sense of calmness and peace washing over you, the warmth and comfort you felt at that moment enveloping the two of you completely. 

The happiness was almost tangible as it traveled through the air. 

If someone would’ve told you you’d end up living with your sworn enemy, Hwang Hyunjin, you’d call them crazy while laughing in their face. 

But here you were, every moment with him by your side was precious even when he drove you crazy at times.

After dinner, you skipped out to your balcony to light up a cigarette and enjoy the view of the city as all the roofs slowly became blanketed by snow. Hyunjin joined you, draping his leather jacket over your shoulders when you shivered, his arms wrapping around your frame.

“I’m starting to think you keep forgetting your jacket on purpose.” he squinted his eyes at you and you giggled.

“Maybe I am.” you looked back at him as he leaned his chin on your shoulder.

“Well, you can always wear mine.” he whispered, turning you around so he could give you a gentle kiss.

Who knew that your band falling apart would bring you together with the love of your life? 

taglist: @moonchild9350 @janepg @velvetmoonlght @hwanghyunjinismybae @jehhskz @porangporangmeong @laylasbunbunny @laughatdanger @jeonginslefthand @sapphirewaves @s3ungm1nxxl0ve @painterhyunjin @starlost-mochi-x @saintcosette @scarlet789 @ooshyana @frehyun @skzdust @simpforleeknaur @schniti-is-in-the-house

[mirroredmemoriez]

A collection of Amanda Young’s outfits (PT 1)

As the title states, this is just all the outfits I can source from Amanda Young from the franchise but also any game adaptation too. This will be broken into parts because of the image limit.

1.) The Reverse Bear Trap (RBT) outfit

One of her most iconic and recognisable fits. She has a purple tank top with matching sleeves to go alongside, presumably kept in place by the pink bands on her upper arms? Amanda in this wears a black skirt with ripped fish nets and kinda shiny boots- Other things include the eye makeup, nail polish and the only time we ever see her have the clawing panther tattoo on her shoulder.

2.) Rockstar outfit

I've generalised this as the ROCKSTAR outfit- Because this specific shirt comes up a few times, not just in that cut scene. It seems there is actually two shirts? The blue graphic one on top and a grey one underneath. Amanda's hair and jackets change! There is the light grey jacket and then the black one and even things like how heavy her makeup is are different... The main place we see this look is when she is setting up Adam for his game. Of course she has boots on as always and I guess I'd call the jeans she has on cuffed? One extra is she has a watch on.

3.) Junkie outfit

BECAUSE I WAS A FUCKING JUNKIE!!! Anyway, with this I had to brighten the image to see what the design on the tank top was... From there I went, ''I think I've seen this before...'' And yeah, I had- Shawnee Smith has worn this logo a few times, so that's why I've added the last two images for a clearer reference. Amanda here looks quite gaunt and sickly and we can't see the rest of this outfit such as trousers.

4.) Visitor outfit

I'll dub this the Visitor outfit because of the badge of course- I would say this likely is Amanda's most simple outfit? Black shirt and skirt. The most striking thing about this look is the RBT scars she has... It's also one of the only times outside of Saw 3 we see Amanda with a ponytail! I can't lie when looking at her hair here, it almost looks two toned in places such as the side burns? Almost grey in parts? (Edit: This may be a dress actually.)

5.) The Red Pig outfit

This is my personal favourite when it comes to her in movie pig looks. She has a red coat/cloak which the length goes all the way down to her boots- Looking there I think the lower half from seeing the cuffed like jeans is probably the exact same as her Rockstar outfit. Her eye makeup is heavily smudged and the mask itself in my opinion is one of the best shaped pig masks, with what seems to be ''blood'' coming out of the eye sockets and black slash brunette hair.

6.) Bow Dress/Clinic outfit

This scene and the follow up is so depressing but she's so cutesy here- It's a simple black dress, but the bow is very Amanda. I have no clue whether the shoes she has on in the first image are actually apart of the outfit or just something Shawnee had on whilst testing it out. 7.) News Report/Scott Tibbs outfit

May be my overall favourite Amanda outfit.... She has on a grey hoodie jacket, possibly another article of clothing from her Rockstar outfit? Her iconic skull sweatpants with a belt and then boots that I would say are more akin to her RBT outfit. I can't really tell if the shirt she has got on is layers or just has different materials- Amanda's RBT scars are also very visible in this look.

8.) Suffocation outfit

At first I started doing these as two separate outfits? One for when she kills Adam, the other for when she wakes up from her nightmare- However, I'm pretty sure this is the same outfit through and through. Amanda has on a long sleeved orange shirt with a grey tanktop over it. The jacket is leather with noticeable silver studs and she has on cargo type trousers and as always... Boots.

9.) Nightmare outfit

Another personal favourite! Once again we get to see the skull pants and this is how I was able to gage the material a bit better. I honestly have no clue how to describe the specific items of clothing she has on her upper half? A corset type shirt going on? Details I enjoy are the safety pins around the shoulder and bottom half and she has a watch on.

10.) Saw X outfit

I decided to not have this pig look separate. Anyway! This is Amanda's most recent outfit with Saw X having come out in 2023.... Simple grey t-shirt alongside cargo trousers with a belt. The boots she's got on are very combat/work like and Amanda also has a black choker and earrings here- Her coat/cloak is black with red detailing such as the cuffs and the inner lining.

[lady-phasma]

Fangtober Day 3 - Ejactulation

Rockstar!Lestat x fem!reader

Summary: Rockstar!Lestat picks you out of the crowd at his concert and smut ensues, plot if you squint. It isn’t exactly perfect for the Day 3 prompt, but it still works. 3.7k words.

Warnings: MDNI 18+, graphic sex, unprotected sex/creampie,

a/n: reader is afab but not described, I wrote this to fulfill this request and the amazing and wonderful @aemondsbabe collaborated with me and provided the scenario, ty ilysm! I may pick this up for a future prompt this month, we’ll see.

Lestat couldn’t stop looking at you. There, near the front row, not screaming and crying, but singing along and smiling. That smile… so utterly unselfconscious. He couldn’t resist. His glance returned to you time and time again until he finished the set and strutted off stage.

As you exited the venue, a young woman with a lanyard and shirt bearing STAFF across the back approached you.

“Miss?” She spoke softly, but loud enough for you to hear over the crowd. “Would you follow me?”

“Me?” Like a cliche, you pointed at yourself and looked around you.

“Yes miss, right this way.” She turned and started to walk toward the backstage area. Your heart thundered in your ears and sweat threatened your palms.

What the fuck have I done? you thought, assuming you were in trouble, but you couldn’t think of a thing. As she led you through a door and down a hallway, your mouth went dry. The rooms you passed looked suspiciously like dressing rooms.

The woman stopped at a door near the end of the hall and tapped her knuckles lightly against it.

“Monsieur de Lioncourt?” she paused, waiting for a reply.

“Entré.” How one word could sound so melodious, you weren’t sure, but that thought was fleeting as the door opened and the woman waved you inside.

Lestat sat on a sofa against the wall. The only light in the room was a floor lamp in the corner. A dim respite from the lights of the stage. But his eyes caught all of the low light in the room and shimmered a nearly translucent blue.

“Ah, I see they found you. Have a seat.” He gestured to the chair opposite him. His movements were fluid and graceful, slower than his frenetic on-stage energy.

“Thank you,” you managed as you sat. You tried to get ahold of yourself when he asked your name and you replied with only a slight quaver in your voice.

“I would very much like for you to accompany me to my hôtel this evening. Would you be amenable to that, mademoiselle?” His accent was delightful and didn’t appear to be an affectation. Perhaps that part of his persona was genuine.

“I would be honored,” you never spoke so formally, but something about him brought it out in you. You smoothed your hands over your pants nervously, but you held his gaze.

“Bien.” The word was short and clipped and he stood up more abruptly than you had expected. You tried to do the same but your head swam, not just from the quick rise from your seat. Is this happening? I could pinch myself. Another cliche flew through your mind.

He flashed you a smile and beckoned you to follow him out of the room. You were hardly aware you were doing it at all and then you were outside the backstage exit amidst a crowd of fans. Lestat slid so effortlessly into the limo, one moment he was on the pavement with you, the next only an outstretched hand appeared from the open door. You took a deep breath and slipped your hand into his. Before you could exhale the din of the fans was gone and the door shut behind you. He sat opposite you, his back to the driver and absently gazed around him, seeming to be disinterested in this arrangement.

“So…” his voice was thick, oily, his tone slightly aloof. “You enjoyed the show.”

You swallowed and managed a nod. His eyes flicked up to yours, his dark, smudged makeup making the blue, which was somehow bright in the dim backseat. He leaned forward resting his forearms on his crossed legs.

“You know every word,” he whispered, causing you to lean forward slightly. “Do you sing along as you drive to work, go to the gym, or… in the shower?” Lestat’s smile was unsettling and you felt your entire body go hot. You instinctively crossed your legs. “Humans do so enjoy singing in the shower.”

“I… I, um,” you had never stuttered in your life. Get a grip! you thought. Lestat chuckled softly and you looked at him quickly then away.

“I listen to your music while I do a lot of things. The words just stick. I guess I sing along sometimes too.” You looked back up at him as he reclined back against the seat.

As if the universe saw fit to release you from your embarrassment, the limo slowed and stopped. When the door opened Lestat gestured for you to exit first. The hotel was sleek and modern at first glance. The building had a facelift at some point in the recent past, but the lobby was sumptuous and elegant.

You felt out of place and then froze mid-step when you remembered why you were here and who you were with. Lestat strode past you without stopping and you sped up to catch back up with him at the elevators. The doors slid open and you stepped in after him. A meticulously manicured finger pressed the penthouse button and he then did the most mundane thing possible: he tapped his room key against the panel. It seemed like a lot of work for him to keep up this vampire persona, especially when he was doing everyday things for himself.

You took a moment to look him up and down for the first time since the concert. He was lithe but not slim, his hips jutted seductively just at the waistband of his pants, which you could see because of the slightly too-short-to-be-practical shirt he was wearing. He was disheveled from the concert, possibly even sexier like this and this close. He glanced at you as the elevator neared his floor. He pushed off the wall of the elevator where he had been leaning and took a step toward you. You thought he might speak, but he didn’t. He turned and faced the elevator doors when they opened.

“Siri, play Alexis Ffrench,” Lestat commanded as you entered the penthouse suite. Delicate and entrancing piano music flowed from the speakers. He walked into the living room and sat on the couch. You followed, tentatively beginning to sit in an arm chair across from him.

“No, chère, here,” he gestured next to him. You accepted his offer and sat down. “Now, where were we?” He mused. He looked at you inscrutably now. You glanced around the room, taking in the opulence. There were bottles of water on the coffee table.

“Um, may I?” you asked as you reached for one.

“Of course,” he replied. “So…” he began as you opened the bottle and took a sip. “Are you suitably impressed?” His smile was sly, underlining his jest. He stretched an arm across the back of the couch and crossed his legs. He was so casual, at ease, the total opposite of your own posture.

“I honestly don’t know that I’ve ever been in a hotel room like this before.” You looked around again, then back to him. “Would you like one?” you asked holding up the bottle.

“Moi? Non, merci, I haven’t had a sip of water in a century.”

You furrowed your brow, put the lid back on the water bottle, and sat it on a coaster on the coffee table. You tried to get comfortable on the sofa but it was hard to look directly at him while sitting so close. You turned and sat on one of your legs, your foot behind your knee.

“Is that so?” you raised an eyebrow at him, taking the bait. “So you keep the act up as long as anyone is around?” You waved your hand in his general direction when you said ‘act,’ indicating his entire person.

“The act? Hmmm,” he smiled softly and examined the back of one hand and his nails. “Do you not find it appealing?” He dropped his hand to his lap and leaned slightly closer to you.

“Oh it definitely works for you.” You felt your face go hot and almost reached for the bottle of water, but Lestat moved closer to you on the sofa. It was impossible that he moved that fast, you swore you must just not have been paying attention.

“Ha! Oui, it has ‘worked’ for me for quite some time,” he laughed and his once-blue eyes looked almost pale lavender. You blinked at him. Maybe it’s a contact high from the concert, you told yourself.

“No,” Lestat reached his hand out and touched your jaw, holding your gaze with the lightest pressure of his fingertips. “You are not intoxicated by anything. You just refuse to see. May I show you?”

You nodded and swallowed. You felt entranced. This was more than physical attraction, he was magnetic. Before you had time to truly register what he had said and what he was doing, Lestat leaned toward you and kissed you softly. His fingers slid up your jaw to cradle your face in his hand. He lingered for just a moment before murmuring something that sounded like belle and then sat up straight again. His hand moved to your neck, his thumb stroking just below your ear. You watched with a mix of horror and arousal as fangs, actual fangs, appeared in his mouth.

“How…” you began, but the sound barely came out and you couldn’t have finished anyway before he was kissing you again. His lips were cool and hard against yours. He guided you closer to him, seeming to move you himself. Your knee pressed against his now, the inches that were between you completely gone. You felt yourself lean into his kiss, reaching out to rest your hand on his leg, as if to steady yourself. You felt momentarily dizzy and pulled back to catch your breath. Lestat began to cover your neck in kisses and you gasped.

“I…” you took a deep breath. “I don’t understand.” Your words came out almost as a sigh. You closed your eyes. You instinctively moved your hand to his arm as he pressed against you.

“’S’okay,” Lestat murmured against your neck. “Relax. Enjoy.” You groaned quietly as his lips and fangs grazed the skin just above the collar of your shirt. You arched your back when he moved a hand behind you, supporting you.

You began to give into the sensations, to suspend your disbelief, let him continue to play the vampire. Who cares? He’s hot and talented and crazy usually comes with the territory.

“We shall see about that,” Lestat said. He replied as if he has heard your thoughts. Not possible, but again, who cares?

“Fine, whatever, just don’t stop,” you moaned and ran your hand up his arm, over his shoulder to the nape of his neck.

Suddenly, startlingly, Lestat stood, guided you with him, and scooped you up, one hand behind your knees. Okay, he’s strong, you thought, trying nearly-futilely to make sense of him, but not caring all that much. You were in the bedroom before the thoughts were finished running through your mind.

Lestat sat you on the bed and looked at you for a moment, then he sat facing you. He slid your shirt up, his hands on your sides and you raised your arms to allow him to slip it over your head and off your arms. You were moving fast with him in a way that was exhilarating. You still felt half in a dream, but you wanted this, may have even allowed yourself to daydream about this before, a fantasy for millions of fans.

Immediately his mouth went to your breasts, kissing and nipping on them through the fabric of your bra. His hands moved quickly and effortlessly to your bra closure and unclasped it in one movement. You let him slide it off your shoulders. He exhaled softly before taking one of your nipples in his mouth. He held you still with his hands on your back and licked your nipple before grazing his teeth against it. He moved to the other and sucked it between his lips quickly and you gasped. The sensation made you clutch at him, trying to steady yourself. You ran a hand up the back of his neck into his silky hair. The pressure increased and you dug your fingers into his skin.

“Oh god, yes,” you moaned and let your head fall back as he sucked. Slowly he slid his a hand to your other breast and squeezed, not quite roughly. Every movement he made was elegant and deliberate. Before you realized it was happening, Lestat was laying you back on the bed. He slid one thigh between yours and pressed against you slightly. His strength made the movement effortless, his mouth never leaving your breast. You arched your back against him, feeling the wetness between your legs as you tried to grind against his leg. He pulled his other hand from behind your back and cupped both breasts in his hands. Moving from one to the other, he drug his lips along your chest. You felt the gentle scratch of his fangs on your skin.

“You taste fantastic ma petite,” he whispered against you. He ran his thumb over the nipple that wasn’t in his mouth. You pressed your chest up toward him. You wanted to touch him all over, but settled for reaching down to tug his shirt up, trying to get to bare skin. You grazed your fingertips up his sides and around to his back. He moaned around your nipple and goosebumps spread over your body. You dug your fingers into his back as he reached between you to unfasten your pants. Your heart raced and you squeezed your eyes shut at the overwhelming sensations. Suddenly Lestat pulled back and sat up to kneeling, both hands in the waistband of your pants. With no effort at all, he peeled them off and tossed them on the floor, taking your panties with them. A small chuckled had escaped your lips as you had lifted your legs to ‘assist.’ You covered your mouth with the back of one hand.

“Non, chère,” he murmured and moved your hand from your face. You opened your eyes at his touch. He kissed your lips gently then slid off the bed and stood next to it. You felt incredibly odd for a split second and then you were absorbed in his movements, nearly forgetting your own nakedness. He pulled his shirt off, shaking his blonde hair lightly as the shirt left his head. Far too slowly, he hooked his thumbs in his pants and began to slide them down. You involuntarily licked your lips as he revealed his hip bones. You shifted your hips on the bed, rubbing your thighs together slightly. His eyes darted from yours to your legs then back to meet your gaze. His pants hit the floor and he stepped out of them as he moved to get back on the bed. He slid a hand between your knees and opened your legs again, moving between them.

Your eyes were transfixed on his perfect cock. You noticed the V-shape of his torso, of course, but it only forced your eyes downward to the tidy curls of dusty-blonde hair and absolutely beautiful cock. You tore your eyes away and looked up at his face. He was smirking, completely vain and self-satisfied. You couldn’t care less. You spread your legs a fraction wider and smiled back at him. He looked down the full length of your body then leaned forward kissing your chest and stomach again.

Lestat’s hands roved everywhere. You lost track as he moved against you. You ran one hand into his hair, let the other touch every available inch of his skin. Gently you tugged him upward, encouraging him. His lips found yours and kissed you deeply, fangs grazing your lips. You moaned as his tongue slid between your lips. You tangled your fingers deeper into his hair. He propped himself up on one hand by your head and reached between you with the other. Still kissing you, he slid his cock between your wet folds. Something like a groan came from his lips, vibrating into your mouth. The head of his cock nudged your clit and you lifted your hips.

“So needy,” he muttered as he broke the kiss. You felt him move further back and press against your entrance. His hand slid up your side and grazed your breast as he slipped his hand under your shoulder. You looked at him, eyes almost glazed over with desire, and bit your bottom lip. His lips parted slightly and he exhaled as he began to slide into you. He took his time, savoring your wet heat.

“Mon dieu,” Lestat moaned softly. You moved the hand not in his hair to his lower back and urged him on. You tilted your head back and sighed as he pressed into you completely. Lestat stayed there, filling you up, for a brief moment, then he began to move in short strokes. He kissed down your jaw and neck as he moved. You gripped his hip and pulled him toward you. He lengthened his strokes and made the most delicious sounds next to your ear. You fingers neared the top of his buttocks as you lifted a leg to his hip.

“Yes, fuck, you feel amazing,” you rambled. Lestat slid his hand down your body and behind your thigh, guiding your leg higher. He tilted his hips to find a new angle and his cock rubbed against that spot deep inside you. The sounds you made were unintelligible. You clenched around him, perhaps trying to keep him in place, but he increased his pace, returning to that spot over and over again. You may have groaned his name, you weren’t sure, you couldn’t control the sounds that tumbled from you.

Still propped on one hand, Lestat slid his hand from behind your thigh, across your hip, and down to your belly. Your hips twitched against his. His fingers traveled lightly between you. He found his goal expertly and slid slowly over your clit. The pressure was too gentle and you whined, in truth, an embarrassing sort of sound, but he seemed to enjoy it. He drew the sound from your lips again with a couple more light strokes before increasing his pressure.

Lestat sped up the movement of his hips and didn’t quite match the rhythm with his fingers. He lifted his head and watched you through the curtain of his hair. Your fingernails grazed his scalp and he groaned. You rocked your hips as he made small circles on your clit, meeting his thrusts, chasing the friction and the overwhelming pleasure.

“Just like that that, chère,” Lestat whispered as he watched your face. You couldn’t continue to look into those blue-lilac eyes and squeezed yours shut as you felt your orgasm begin at his fingers. You wanted it desperately, but you also never wanted this to end. Your hand moved to his ass and on his next stroke pulled him as deep as you could. He moaned and dropped his forehead to yours. He never ceased his movements against your clit and your body shook as your climax started to wash over you. You weren’t sure you had ever felt so good. You would think about it later, but the twitch of your hips and ab muscles every time his fingers passed around your clit was a new experience. You thought you heard him chuckle.

His hips moved quicker now, not slowed by your clenched muscles around his cock. You tightened harder around him. Your body curled as you came and you threw your arm around his neck. Your forehead nearly rested on his shoulder, putting your ear next to his lips. He muttered delicate French words you didn’t understand. He finally moved his hand from you and slid it around your waist, holding you close to him. You cried out softly as he pounded into you and were so spent, so delirious from the intensity of your orgasm that you didn’t hear his question the first time.

“Where do you want it?” he repeated. You groaned. How could you answer that? You already knew what you were doing was risky, but your birth control flashed in your mind and you whispered your answer in his ear.

“Come inside me.” Those three little words were enough. Lestat’s hips never stuttered or faltered. He fucked you smoothly through his orgasm, moaning your name. You thought you might have been able to come again, but then you felt his hips stop and his release spill into you. He cursed and stroked into you a few more times before gently laying you back on the bed. He looked down at you, tilted his head, and tucked one side of his hair behind his ear. Then he stroked your cheek and moved back to kneeling. His movement inside you made you groan with the renewed stimulation, but he only smiled at you as he pulled out. It was a fond smile, not exactly taking pleasure in your soft whine as he left you empty, but not not enjoying it.

Lestat lay down on the bed next to you. He didn’t pull you close to him, but he put his arm out for you to lift your head. You lay back, head resting on his arm, your sides touching down the length of your bodies.

“Holy fuck,” you muttered as you caught your breath. “I mean it. Holy fuck.” Lestat chuckled at your exclamation.

“Perhaps that was not enough proof, but I think you might be more open-minded now, no?” His fingers trailed over your upper arm and shoulders, the fingernails grazing your skin.

“Honestly, does it matter?” You looked at him, but you weren’t sure you still had doubts. Your rational mind told you vampires couldn’t exist and he was insane or, at the very least, eccentric. Probably the only thing that would convince me would be him drinking my blood and I might be up for that. He’s a weirdo but he’s fucking gorgeous.

“That could be arranged.” Lestat’s soft laugh caused goosebumps to race over your skin. Your eyes were wide as he turned to lay on his side, propping himself on his elbow to look at you.

Fangtober 2024 prompt list • Main masterlist

[jhyoos]

REBEL GIRL

rockstar sevika x influencer reader

Chapter 7: Pornstar

summary : you and sevika get to know each other better 😏

mentions : SMUT, LESBIANS FUCKING, DOING THE DIRTYYYY

notes : my bookie athena wrote the smut for me. everyone say THANK YOU ATHENA in the comments 🫶 @athena-winters13 check out her work on ao3 !

chapters : one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight

You hadn’t expected Sevika to come back to your room after saying your goodbyes, but now that she was here you couldn’t deny it was exactly what you needed. She had stripped your shirt almost as soon as she came back, leaving your top exposed and ready for her to drink in.

Sevika keeps her lips on yours, holding onto your hips and guiding you to the bed. When the back of your knees hit the soft mattress Sevika is quick to flip the positions, sitting on the edge of the bed with you pulled to straddle her lap. “So pretty.” She whispers sincerely, eyes locked onto your bare chest.

You huff out a laugh, unexpected nerves getting the best of you. It feels like you need to mend the tension with humor, “talking to me or my tits?” You quip back, expecting Sevika to retort with something sarcastic.

Sevika looks up at you, shadows cast over her face as only the lamps light up your room. She shakes her head, looking curiously serious, “don’t do that. You have no reason to be nervous. I’m not going to do anything you don’t want.” Her tone is soft, but you can tell there's some passion there, like she’s barely keeping herself contained.

You pull your lip between your teeth, not expecting her to make this so earnest. She kneads your chest, groping both your breasts with her hands, but avoids your nipples. “Do you want me to touch you? Is it okay?” She questions you, eyes strictly on yours.

You smile anxiously, nodding your head but she doesn’t take that as an answer. “Yes. I want you to touch me, please.” You place your forearms on her shoulders, giving you some way to feel closer to her.

That seemed good enough for her now and she latches her warm mouth on one of your nipples, sucking on it and running her wet tongue around it. You arch further into her mouth, gasping softly at the way it sent sparks of pleasure between your legs. This is what you had been wanting, but you had needed the confirmation it wasn’t just sex. You couldn’t bear the thought of being one of Sevikas groupies in that sense.

Don’t think about that now, it’s not like that, she said it herself. She lets go of your sensitive skin with a wet pop, kissing across your chest before finding your neglected nipple and sucking on that one as well. All the while, she keeps her hands busy by squeezing your ass and helping you grind down into her lap. The friction isn’t great, but it’s enough to help you not go insane.

“Sevika!” You whine, arching impossibly closer to her when she bites down on your nipple, teeth scraping against the sensitive bud.

She chuckles as she lets go, looking up at you with a smug grin. You slightly wanted to roll your eyes and bat that smile off her face, but you were way too far gone now for that.

“Want something?” She quirks her brow, feigning curiosity like she couldn’t possibly tell you were a wet mess for her already.

You bat your eyelashes at her, trying to use your pretty charm in order to satiate her ego and also get her to touch you. It works a little, her eyes darkening and the grip on your ass getting tighter, but she doesn’t give in so easy.

“Tell me then.” She offers, flesh hand sneaking around to your front in order to cup you between your legs.

You sigh heavily, trying to push down into her palm and relieve yourself more. It doesn’t work, she just pulls back. You snap your eyes open, frowning down at her, “I want you to touch me.”

Sevika smirks, tapping one finger on your shoulder, “okay, there.” She looks up at you, an innocent smile on her face.

You grumble, turning your head to the side to steady yourself, “between my legs.” You mutter the words quietly, not overly a fan of seeming so desperate… even though you certainly were.

Sevika nods her head, smile growing like she might give you what you want. You watch her move her flesh hand between your legs, holding your breath in anticipation. She pinches the inside of your thigh, dropping the hand back to the bed when she’s done.

Your jaw drops, eyes widening at how much of a dick she was being. “Sevika, don’t be an asshole. You know what I want!” You cry out, shaking her shoulders slightly.

She shrugs them, giving you a bored look, “no, I really don’t, so tell me.” This time it sounds more like a command, her voice lowering into a rough growl.

You squirm a bit, trying to push your hips down against her lap to no avail. You sigh again, eyes pleading with her, “I want you to touch me under my panties Sevika, please, I need it.”

She wants you to beg, you know that and with each passing second you’re losing the resolve not to.

“Better,” she states, pushing her flesh hand past the band of your shorts and panties, “but not enough.”

She taps her pointer finger against your entrance, a small slick sound making its way to your ears.

She completely avoided your needy clit, but the touch of her fingertip and the resulting sound it made, pushed you over the edge. She wasn’t going to give in, so you had to.

“Sevika I want two of your fingers inside my pussy right now!” The words come out high-pitched and whiny, a perfect match to how you were feeling.

Sevika groans, surging forward to attack your lips with her own. She pushes into you with two fingers right away, doing exactly as you had asked. You whine against her mouth, adjusting to the stretch of those skilled digits. She experiments a bit, pulling out and pushing in, fully sinking those fingers in and curling and then doing a combination of both.

That gets you going the most as her palm pushes against your clit when she pushes fully inside of you. She keeps a steady pace, nothing too fast like in the pornos and you’re ever-so grateful for that.

You didn’t want any jackhammering, just a nice rhythm that you could follow with your hips. “You don’t know how long I’ve been wanting to do this,” she breathes the words against your neck, warm air sending goosebumps down your body.

You nod your head, hips chasing the pleasure she was providing with those thick fingers. She was making a mess of your panties and sleep shorts, your slick leaking out from around her fingers to the insides of your thighs. It didn’t matter though, you weren’t going to ask her to pause just so you could remove them.

Her mouth latches back on to a nipple and your hands find a place in her hair. You grip lightly, knowing she would never allow you to try and dictate her movements. She doesn’t seem to mind as long as you’re not pulling and she groans against your nipple when you scratch her scalp.

You moan in response, feeling the vibrations send more pangs of pleasure straight down to your swollen clit. Her fingers keep working, curling against the soft spot inside you, bringing you closer to that peak you’re so familiar with.

You chant her name, not trying to inflate her ego any more than it already was but unable to bite back the words. She lets go of your nipple, resting her chin against your sternum to look up at you, “that’s right, say my name. I knew I’d get you to chant for me one way or another.” Her words are dripping with self-satisfaction.

You would never chant for her out in the crowd at her shows, but you were making an exception here. “Please, I want to cum.” You keep rocking your hips, meeting the thrusts of her fingers and pressing down for friction on your clit.

She moves to kiss your shoulder, bringing her soft lips to the shell of your ear, “go on and cum for me so I can sit on that pretty ass face of yours.”

You gasp, orgasm crashing through you at the promise of what was to come next. You weren’t sure if you’d get the chance to see her naked.

Sure she had mentioned head before as a way for you to make up for all the accusations from TMZ, but that was just to get under your skin. Still, her tone didn’t seem like she was kidding and you whined above her, hips stuttering as overstimulation set it.

She removes her fingers carefully, avoiding your clit on the way out of your shorts. She spreads her fingers apart, showing off your very evident arousal with a cute grin. Her fingers near your mouth, a silent request that you don’t dare disobey.

Plus, you pride yourself on keeping clean and good hygiene, so you knew that you tasted good. You happily suck her fingers clean, maintaining eye-contact the entire time to see the lustful expression on the guitarist's face. When you’re done, you pull back, making sure to leave a trail of saliva in your wake.

Sevika inhales deeply, arousal so clear on her face. She pushes on your hips, urging you off her lap. The way she strips down is quick, efficient and very evident that she meant business. You lose your shorts and panties too, wanting to join her in being fully nude.

Not only that, but when she looked at your naked body, it felt like she really saw you. Her eyes weren’t predatory like she felt entitled to you, they were appreciative like she was thankful you trusted her enough to see you like this after she had rejected you not too long ago.

You made sure you let your eyes portray the same thing. You scanned over her dark skin slowly, taking in her full breasts, the tattoos covering her skin, the curve of her waist and the dark thatch of hair between her legs.

Every part of her was beautiful and you reached out to brush your fingers against her stomach. She tensed slightly, head tilting to find your eyes. “Like what you see?” Her voice wasn’t cocky, almost sounding genuine like she needed to hear you say it.

You smiled sweetly at her, “you’re beautiful Sevika.” You tuck some loose hair behind her ear, leaning in for a slower kiss.

She matches you, moving her lips with less urgency, but still using enough force to show who was in charge. You didn’t mind giving in to her, she wasn’t going to take advantage of the situation and leave you feeling used. “Alright, on the bed, I’m sick of waiting.” Sevikas voice is playful now, the softness of the moment gone.

You did as asked, climbing onto the bed and laying your head down on one of the fluffy pillows. Sevika is quick to follow, straddling your hips while looking down at you. “This is good with you?” She questions, giving you the opportunity to backtrack on your previous agreement by climbing into the bed.

It’s not even a thought that crosses your mind though, she was far too sexy and in a selfish way you wanted to prove that you gave good head, blowing all the other women who might have done the same out of the water.

“What are you waiting for Sevika? I can quite literally smell your arousal from here.” If she could tease then you could too. Plus, it was entirely true and the musky smell hit your nose even as she sat low on your hips.

Surprise covers her face, but she quickly steels it and begins climbing up your body, thighs resting on either side of your head. You look up, seeing slick strings cling to her inner thigh in a webbed fashion.

It was enough to get you turned on again, the simple fact that you had Sevika a wet mess like you were minutes ago. “Fuck.” You whisper, looking at her pretty cunt in awe before she sinks down and places herself on your mouth.

This position was new to you, but you were eager as all get out to please her. She held your hands above your head with her mechanical one, but you suppose you didn’t need them for what you were intending to do. You lick into her cunt with a great deal of enthusiasm, relishing in the way she pants above you and grunts on occasion.

She begins to rock her hips into your mouth, chasing her pleasure, the same as you had done. She isn’t ashamed to get what she wants, instructing you to go faster and suck harder as she needs. You listen to her words and her body language, peering up to find her abdomen tensing in intervals and sweat dripping down her body.

You suckle on her clit, feeling her hips stutter and then feel her drop down a bit on your face. It seems the more pleasure you provide her, the more she forgets her size and weight. She pushes more into your face, gripping your wrist tighter and setting a heavy ache to your jaw.

You open your eyes, wide with a bit of panic and try to catch Sevika. Her eyes are closed though, deep groans ripping through her as the pleasure she feels only grows. “Shit baby, got a good mouth.” She grunts, eyes cracking open to glance down at you.

When she sees your worried expression, she lets go of your hands and pulls back off your face. “Sorry, you were just putting like all your weight down on me.” Your voice is thick, remnants of her arousal still in your mouth.

Sevika grimaces, looking apologetic and sits back on your face but with much less weight this time. It relieves the stress on your jaw and you lick back into her, moving your tongue from entrance to clit.

You bring her musky taste into your mouth, moaning into her cunt as you push your thighs together. Now that you have free use of your hands, one shoots down to play with yourself, while the other holds Sevikas thigh.

She ruts into you and your warm mouth, nearing her peak as she loses herself in your tender attention. “Gonna cum in your mouth, fuck baby.” You encourage her, nodding against her cunt and sucking on her clit harshly.

She seems to like that, responding better when you push against her with more force. When she starts curling in on herself, you suckle and lash your tongue over her little nub and then she finishes in your mouth.

Her metallic hand shoots up to grip the headboard and her thighs tremble against your face. You don’t stop sucking until she pushes against your forehead and she drops down on the bed next to you.

You trace patterns on her stomach, watching her catch her breath. “Sevika, I’m glad you came around. You know, I really needed this.” You cup her face, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose.

She smiles, “what can I say, didn’t want to see you slip past my fingers. Maybe you are special.”

You giggle, tossing your hair over your shoulder, “I’m so fucking special.”

Sevika scoffs, rolling her eyes and simultaneously straddling you. “You’re somethin’.” Her words don’t match her annoyed expressions.

She eyes you closely, looking at your right hand, the one you had used to touch yourself while she rode your face. You can tell in an instant that you were caught, “couldn’t wait for me to finish?” She asks you, cocky expression on her pretty face.

You shake your head, accidentally looking over to the nightstand next to this bed. Sevika follows you, a questioning look lingering on her face. You don’t answer, a flush creeping up on your face. You snap your head back, closing your eyes and praying Sevika won’t investigate.

She does

She climbs off of you, opening the top drawer of the nightstand and chuckles. “Oh, I should have known.” She holds up the small, bullet vibrator you brought with you on this trip. It was black with roses and skulls and vines painted onto it.

You thought it was cute and matched your energy, it was easy for you to get off using it as well. Sevika hops back in bed, vibrator in hand. She forces you to take it, looking at you expectantly but you’re just confused. “Use it while I taste you.” She wasn’t asking, it was clearly a command.

Who were you to deny? You were still horny and you needed at least one more orgasm before you were ready to tuck in for the night… hopefully in her strong arms.

You turn the vibrator on, watching as Sevika got down on her stomach between your legs. She grips your thighs, spreading you apart as she wastes no time getting a taste of you. She focuses solely on your entrance, pushing her tongue inside you.

You press the vibrator against your clit, jolting at the sensation and immediate pleasure you feel. Sevika presses her face further into you, curling her tongue inside of you as the vibrator provides Sevika with plenty of slick. She pulls back a bit, “you taste real good baby.” It’s all she offers before delving back into you.

This toy always brings you to that delicious edge quickly and with Sevika adding sensation inside of you with that warm muscle, it’s an even faster track. You squirm, hand that's not busy gripping the blankets tightly. You whine softly, body locking up in preparation for what's to come.

Sevika digs her nails into your thighs, adding just enough pain to the pleasure to send you over the edge and your hand shakes with your release.

You drop the toy, gasping in a desperate attempt to catch your breath. Sevika helps you out, turning the toy off with a haughty grin on her face. She looks confident, taking in your exhausted form with a smug grin, the kind she has after a good show.

The sunlight streamed through the hotel curtains, casting a soft glow over the room. You stirred awake, the warmth of the sun on your face and the sound of faint city noise outside pulling you from sleep. You rubbed your eyes and reached for your phone on the nightstand, squinting at the screen. It was 1 p.m. You groaned softly. Had you really slept that long?

As you tried to sit up, a strong arm tightened around your waist, keeping you in place. You turned your head and froze, your breath catching in your throat. There she was—Sevika, sprawled out beside you, her hair slightly messy, her features softened by sleep. The sheets barely covered her, revealing the curve of her shoulders and her metal arm glinting faintly in the sunlight. And then it hit you. Last night hadn’t been a dream.

Your heart raced as you replayed the memories—her lips on yours, the way her touch made your skin tingle, the quiet whispers shared in the dim light of the room. The tenderness, the passion—it was all real.

Your thoughts were interrupted by the sudden blaring of your phone’s ringtone. You quickly grabbed it, muting the sound before Sevika could stir too much. She groaned softly, her eyes fluttering open, and her gaze immediately found yours.

“Morning,” she murmured, her voice husky and warm.

“Afternoon, actually,” you corrected with a small smile, showing her the time on your phone. She chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound that sent a warmth through you.

As Sevika stretched and settled back against the pillows, you found yourself fidgeting. The question you’d been mulling over since last night sat heavy on your chest. Finally, you gathered the courage to speak.

“Sevika,” you began softly, turning to face her fully. “What…what are we? Is this—” you hesitated, searching her eyes. “Is this an official relationship, or are we just seeing each other?”

Sevika blinked, and for a moment, you thought she might laugh. But instead, she leaned forward, propping herself up on her elbow, her intense gaze locking with yours. “What’s the difference?” she asked, her voice steady but filled with an undercurrent of emotion. “Either way, you’re mine.”

The confidence in her words made your breath hitch. Before you could respond, she slipped her arm around your waist and pulled you closer, her touch firm yet gentle. Her lips brushed against your neck, leaving a trail of featherlight kisses that sent shivers through you.

“I don’t care what we call this,” she murmured against your skin. “I know how I feel about you. I don’t need labels for that. But if you want one, tell me what you need, and it’s yours.”

Her words wrapped around you like a warm blanket, filling the empty spaces in your heart you hadn’t even realized were there. You smiled softly, the weight of uncertainty lifting. “I just wanted to be sure,” you admitted, your voice barely above a whisper.

Sevika leaned back, tilting your chin up with her metal fingers so your eyes met hers. The intensity in her gaze made your heart flutter. “You don’t need to worry,” she said firmly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

The sincerity in her tone was undeniable, and before you could think twice, you leaned in, pressing a soft, lingering kiss to her lips. When you pulled back, she was smirking, her expression laced with amusement and affection.

“So,” she teased, her voice lighter now, “are we staying in bed all day, or are we getting up and finding some food? You’ve got to be hungry after last night.”

You laughed softly, the tension finally melting away. “We already ate half the hotel’s menu last night, but…coffee sounds good.”

“Coffee it is,” Sevika said, sitting up and stretching, her muscles flexing under the sunlight. She glanced over at you and grinned. “But maybe you should put on something first. Unless you want to give the hotel staff a show.”

taglist : @moodient @whatlefoop @nonexistentsourcherry @graciebloom @swordfemm4 @m00npjm @sevikasleftarm @fayecreates @artfairyyyyy @mulan-but-gay @inlovewithsevikaandambessa @sapphiellar @fudosl

[ilovetoxicfictionalmen]

SMILE FOR THE CAMERA BABY

A KINKTOBER SPECIAL - SEX TAPE WITH JONATHAN BREECH

Pairing.| Jonathan Breech x fem!reader

Summary.| You lose a bet with Jonathan. He has to record the experience to ensure it’ll happen again.

Warnings.| Dubcon, fingering, p in v, unknown recording, blackmail.

Word Count.| 1.4k

Notes.| Never edited this one hahahah so maybe i’ll do it down the track lol

Jonathan Breech had a non-wipeable smirk on his lips as he rode his bike down your street on this gloomy day. Typically, he wore that stupid gray trapper hat of his as he booted down the kickstand outside your front porch. He skipped up the porch stairs and dramatically knocked on your front door. After you made him wait, the door flung open revealing your fluffy robe as you looked him up and down with dissatisfaction. As you carelessly invited him into your home, Jonathan nodded his head in approval, his hands fisted into his pockets as he waltzed around the empty living room.

“Nice place” he commented quietly, earning a soft scoff from you.

“Don’t act like you care” you snorted, crossing your arms across your chest.

“Hey! You want to do this as much as I do” Jonathan chuckled.

Quickly, you stomped towards him, standing mere inches away from him as he smirked at your restricted rage.

“I don’t want this at all” you growled, jabbing your fingers onto his right pec.

“Oh, stop playing hard to get” Jonathan teased, his hands snaking to your waist.

“You cheated…” you mumbled, your tone softening as your eyes lowered. You watched his squeeze the robe over your hips.

“Don’t be a sore loser now… I want us both to enjoy this” he murmured, his hands pulled you closer to him, his lips teasing yours by just brushing them against one another.

It was hard not to give into your desires and kiss him completely. But your amour propre was still too high, especially for your provoking classmate who’s ego was taller than his height.

Jonathan had been trying to woo you for months. However, you were like the roadrunner, you could never stop dashing away from him. Until he made a bet that you couldn’t refuse. For your final test in your mathematics class together, the highest mark would win. He’d be forced to never speak a word to you again. If he won? Your body. Jonathan was borderline failing so it seemed too good to be true. He proved you wrong when your teacher distributed your results. A two percent difference, to Jonathan’s benefit.

It’s not that you found him unattractive or anything, you just didn’t like his attitude at times. Not to mention the boost you got at him almost groveling below you. It was nice to be wanted, even though it was just downright sexual desire.

“How do I know you won’t just tell everyone as soon as you’re done with me?” you mumbled out.

Jonathan chuckled lightly before kissing you softly. “I’m a man of my word” he whispered before kissing you far more passionately.

Gradually, your arms snaked around him and you squeezed his body. The stress of if anyone found out about this disappeared from your mind, your focus completely on the goosebumps he gave you. As your hands ran up and felt the fabric of his stupid hat, you yanked it off and threw it across the room.

“Bedroom” he stated with a huff as your lips started for a split second.

If you didn’t lead him to your bedroom fast enough, he was ready to fuck you in the hallway. As you tumbled into your bedroom like horny animals, Jonathan smiled at the state of your room. Rockstar posters still on the wall, desk in the corner and plant pots all around your room, your childhood teddy bear on your bed. The floor was free of any dirty clothes or rubbish and a honey scented candle was lit.

Jonathan slipped off his jacket and pushed you both onto the bed. After he planted sloppy kisses all over your face, he untied your robe and groaned at your matching baby pink lingerie set.

“Was this to make me feel special?” Jonathan chuckled.

“Shut up” you huffed, subconsciously you covered your arms over your bare body.

Jonathan tutted and moved your arms to your side before he pressed his body on top of yours. As he humped his erection against your hips, he moaned into your mouth. You eagerly pulled his shirt over his head.

“Strip naked” he ordered firmly.

Huffing out in protest, you gave in and stripped completely naked before him. His hungry eyes took in every inch of your glory.

“Face down, ass up” he continued on.

You obliged and pressed the side of your face against the mattress, you ass poking out to him. Jonathan approached you and rubbed his fingers over your dripping cunt.

“Oh fuck Johnny” you moaned as he slipped his finger inside of you.

“I said face down” he huffed as he watched your head begin to turn back.

You clenched around him at his demand. Submitting to him was more pleasing than you had anticipated. Jonathan slipped his fingers out and quickly undressed. However, silently he retrieved the camcorder from his jacket pocket and turned it on without a sound. A relieved exhale left your lips as you heard him rip open the wrapper and snap on his rubber.

The tip of his cock is pressed against your entrance and you murmur out. Slowly, he pushed his thick member inside of your squeezing walls.

“You like that baby?” Jonathan cocked an eyebrow as he slowly buried his cock completely inside of you.

“Yeah Johnny, so good…” you lightly moaned, your eyes fluttered back as you adjusted to his size.

“Fuck baby, should have let me fuck you sooner” Jonathan chuckled as he slowly began to pump his size in and out of you, his fingertips rubbed near your clit.

You hummed out in response, hips rocking back as you quickly matched his rhythm. He held the camera right above you as he rocked his hips back and forward. Occasionally he would direct the device to the back of your head as you moaned out in pleasure. He made sure to give you plenty of compliments to keep you satisfied.

“Like my cock?” Jonathan grumbled

“Yeah Jon, I like it a lot” you admitted carelessly.

“Should we do this more often?” Jonathan chuckled darkly.

“Yeah” you gasped as he hit your g-spot.

Repetitively, his head brushed against your sensitive bundle of nerves, your walls clenched heavily around him.

“Oh Jonathan!” You cried out, hands gripped like iron onto the bed sheets as he pounded into you.

Without even anticipating it, your high crashed over you. You screamed out in ecstasy, your hips rocking impulsively back onto his twitching cock. By how tightly his cock squeezed around you, he quickly came hard, his heavy load of cum swiftly begun to drip out of his condom.

“Fuck baby! So good, so fucking good” Jonathan praised as he slipped his length out of your soaking entrance.

He was the first guy to ever get you to finish. But you weren’t going to give him the glory by telling him that. You panted heavily, gasping for air, eyes closed shut.

“Smile for the camera baby” Jonathan grinned widely.

Your head shot back and you shrieked as you flipped yourself around and covered your body.

“Jon-Jonathan! What the fuck!” you yelped.

“What!” He mocked your tone and pitch.

“What the fuck is wrong with you! Turn it off!” You demanded, a mixture of panic and fury in your voice.

“No, no… Need to be sure we’ll be doing this again” Jonathan laughed heavily, a stern tone in his gleeful voice.

“Jonathan please!” You begged, your body trembled and eyes swelled.

Jonathan sighed and switched the camera shut. He pouted at you as he reached for his boxers and slipped them on without breaking eye contact with you. Gradually, he crawled onto the bed, the camcorder now placed on the floor.

“Come on, we were having so much fun, weren’t we?” Jonathan whispered, taking your body in his arms. He planted his lips onto your neck.

“Yeah…” you sniffled. Jonathan moaned in agreement, your eyes remained fixed on the camcorder as he worshiped your body.

“It’s not like I want to show anyone anyways…” He reassured, his hands trailing over your curves. “I don't want other guys ogling you” he continued, the possessiveness and jealousy dripping out of his words. After a short moment of silence, Jonathan looked into your eyes. “So, same time tomorrow?” He smirked at you.

“Fuck off” you muttered and shoved his hands off you.

Jonathan laughed lightly and slid off the bed. Quickly, he slid on his clothes, making sure to wave the camcorder at you before he slid it into his pocket. “See you then, in the meantime I’ll be watching our film” he smirked before picking up your robe and throwing it in your direction.

There was no farewell from you, he quickly left, not forgetting his hat before taking off on his bike.

[marvelouslizzie]

Why Are You Doing This To Me?

summary: Your ex-boyfriend Bucky Barnes wrote two songs about (for) you and you don’t know what to do.

pairing: Ex!Rockstar!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

warnings: Angst, a past failed relationship, pettiness, jealousy, anger, a lot of emotions, no mention of y/n.

word count: 2.3K

A/N: I have been away for a while because I was busy learning another language aka Dutch. I still am but at least I am done with my big exam. As soon as I was done with it, I found myself writing again.

This is a random idea that just popped into my head while listening to music and taking a walk. Pure angst for some reason. Usually, I go for smutty ideas but bear with me.

>> indicates incoming messages and << indicates outgoing messages in this story.

Thank you @notafunkiller for proofreading and editing this so fast ❤️

All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission.

Keep reading tag starts after the second paragraph of the story.

>> Hey! I know you don’t want to hear anything about Bucky, but I think you should check these out. I think he wrote these songs for you.

Two links from Spotify follow the text you received from one of your best friends, and you stare for a while, trying to decide what to do. You really don’t want to hear his voice. Not because you don’t like his singing or his songs, but you wanted to get back on your feet. It would be impossible if you kept listening to his songs. Besides, hearing his voice has always softened you. And your best friend knows this. She knows a lot about your relationship, how everything went down, and how you two eventually broke up. If she didn't think you should listen to these songs, she wouldn't be sending you these links, right?

You take a deep breath and click on the first link. The song starts to play, and you notice the soft vibe right away. It’s not particularly Bucky’s style. He sounds like he’s in pain but he's singing with such clarity that surprises you.

He talks about how much he regrets the things he didn’t do when he was with you. How he misses you so much every day. How much he wants to call you, but he’s afraid that you won’t pick up the phone or worse, you will talk to him like a stranger. He says he always knew how precious you were, yet he took you for granted.

The lyrics flow flawlessly. It sounds like poetry to your ears. The way he expressed himself so beautifully… You can’t believe he wrote such a heartfelt song about you, and it’s not even his style. He’s a freaking rockstar. He usually writes about sex, rock and roll, and drugs. Not feelings. Then the song finally reaches the chorus and his words make you freeze. 

“You are the love of my love.”

Did he really just say that? Did he just call you the love of his life? You feel this rush of emotions, and it’s hard to distinguish what you are actually feeling. It makes it harder to think, harder to focus on anything else other than the fact that this song is for you. That’s when you notice the name of the song. It’s the Love of My Life.

Suddenly, you start to feel angry. Every other emotion just takes a backseat. You hate him. So fucking much! Why is he always like this? Saying everything a little too late. Was it so hard for him to tell you this when you wanted to find just one reason to stay with him? You begged him to communicate with you maybe a million times. He always said it was not easy for him to put his feelings into words. Good or bad. It didn’t matter. He always struggled with his emotions. You tried your best. You tried to show him that he could trust you, that you would always be there for him, but it didn’t matter in the end. You felt like you were the only one trying to make this relationship work.

That’s when you decided to give up. It felt like he just didn’t care enough. He didn’t put any effort into changing things or making you feel like you weren’t just beating a dead horse.

You hoisted the white flag and moved on with your life. That’s when he decides to put whatever he feels into words. Instead of talking to you, he makes a song about it. Then he puts it out into the world. 

What a fucking asshole!

It takes you a while to realize the song is over as the silence fills the room. As much as you hate how he chose to do this, the silence disturbs you. It might be a little too late, but you still want to hear what he has to say. Your own rules about not listening to any of his songs instantly go out the window.

You open the messaging app and click on the second link. This one sounds a little bit more like his usual style. The name of the song though, instantly catches your attention this time. It’s one of the nicknames he used often for you. 

He starts the song by saying that he knows how selfish he is. That he has no right to feel this way, but he just saw you with someone else and he hated how it made him feel. He talks about how jealous he is. How he can’t help but imagine you in that guy’s arms. Then he realized you might call him baby, just like you used to call him. Then he continues by begging you not to call him baby, how he wants you to save that pet name for him even though he’s not in your life anymore.

There are so many details throughout the song that indicate he’s talking about you, there is no mistaking. He calls you by your nickname, saying how he loves the way you talk passionately about your interests, how compassionate you are, and how much effort you put into maintaining your relationship but he was too stupid and pathetic to appreciate them.

Every word that comes out of his mouth makes you even angrier. How dare he? How dare he write a song like this for you? After everything you have been through, after all the effort you put into your relationship, after every heartbreak… He realizes how much he values you just because he saw you with someone else.

Selfish bastard!

He has no right to put these words out there. He has no right to feel jealous. You are not his anymore. You can call someone else baby if that’s what you want. How dare he try to dictate to you like this? It makes you wanna call someone up and go out on another date and call him baby, just in spite.

The problem is, it’s just your stubborn nature talking. Before this song, you didn’t even think about calling someone else baby. You didn’t feel like it. Subconsciously, you were reserving that pet name for him. And that fucker knew it. He just knew it!

You exhale deeply, trying to calm yourself down. The song is over, but you can still hear him singing in your head. The song is so beautiful. Petty but so fucking beautiful. He sounds like he poured his heart out without caring how vulnerable it makes him look. 

Another deep breath, you try to understand which date he is talking about. You have been on a couple of dates since you two broke up. You were so dedicated to moving on. You didn’t care if it would hurt him. Because he didn’t care about how much he hurt you all those times you tried your hardest to make things work. So you went out with a couple of gentlemen. Some of them were decent, and some of them were downright horrible. Dating is just as tedious as you remembered. A lot of assholes out there who don’t care who they are hurting. You didn’t get hurt, though. You didn't care enough about any of them to give them the power to hurt you.

Then it finally hits you. He’s talking about your date with that motherfucking movie star! That one was big news for a while. You got photographed two, maybe three times together.

You really looked like you were having fun in those photos. Truthfully, you were, he was such a funny guy. He knew how to make fun of himself. You were just so tired of pretentious asses. It was refreshing. That’s why you said yes to a second and a third date. Then he was off to a European country to shoot his next movie. You had a fun and it was more than enough for you. 

You precisely remember that tabloids started to talk about how perfect you two were for each other. God, that must have gotten under his skin. You can’t help but laugh. He’s so predictable. He just couldn’t bear to see you with someone else, but can you blame him?

You remember seeing something similar about him, but in that case, he wasn’t on a date with the girl. They were just working together for some lame-ass project he would normally despise. Maybe he was trying to keep himself busy, who knows? You remember so vividly how she was looking at him like she wanted to eat him up. As if that wasn’t enough, she kept praising him, calling him the best rockstar of the century just to get in his pants. You have no idea if it worked or not, but it was enough to make you feel jealous. So can you blame him for feeling the same?

It just makes you realize you want to listen to those songs again. It’s maybe too little too late but you still want to hear him. You wanted him to talk about his feelings for such a long time and he’s finally doing it. Through a song but still, he’s doing it. It isn’t exactly communicating because communication must be two-sided, right? That’s what was missing in your relationship. You were talking, pleading, trying while he was keeping everything in. You feel like the roles are reversed. Now he’s the one talking, pleading, and trying, and you just don’t know what to do. How the tables have turned.

The second time around, you notice other details you missed the first time. Like peaceful walks you took together whenever you had the time or how you always used fake names when you two traveled together. You can’t help but miss those days. Even though you had problems, being with him always felt so safe and peaceful. You have no idea how he managed to make you feel that way. Maybe that’s why it took you so long to end the relationship. You still miss the way you felt back then. As if you two could overcome anything together, yet you couldn’t. Because you didn’t work together. You were alone, struggling to make him talk.

Then he talks about how he still speaks to your friends, and that makes him miss you even more. That part surprises you because none of your friends mentioned that they were still seeing Bucky. Is that because you didn’t let them ever talk about him? You feared if you let yourself talk or think about him, you would go back to the point zero.

He ends the song saying he doesn't want you to be a distant memory, and this sticks with you. Do you want him to be a distant memory?

The second time you listen, you notice how desperate he sounds. The way he pleads doesn’t anger you anymore. You find something you feel in his words. Your own fears, your own selfishness and oh, how much you miss him. You didn’t let yourself admit that you miss him. You thought acting like he never existed, he was never a part of your life would make everything easier and it did. Just for a while. Lately, it was just a burden. You tried so hard to keep everything inside. Just like he did. You are still trying to do it… to act logically, not emotionally. Does it mean you are making the same mistake he did? Shutting yourself down, not talking about your feelings. Is it the solution or is it a part of the mistake? You can’t tell anymore. You just know that your heart is aching. The sound of his voice makes you want to cry.

God, you hate him so much!

How could he do this to you after all this time?

Is it that easy to get under your skin or was he always there?

You feel like you are about to explode because of all the emotions you are going through. On one hand, Bucky communicating with you is everything you wanted. On the other hand, isn’t it too late? And why did he write not one but two songs about you? Declaring his love to the world…

You repeat that last bit in your head. He’s declaring his love to the world.

He’s no longer afraid to talk about his emotions. He wants you to hear them, millions of other people are just the bonus. He’s not afraid to show how fucking miserable he feels. He just wants you back.

He’s doing his bit in communicating, but unless you don’t do something about it, it won’t matter. It will be another attempt in vain. You aren’t sure if you want to repeat the same pattern. You notice the song is over when your phone chimes. It’s your best friend again.

>> Did you listen?

<< Yeah.

>> How are you feeling?

<< Confused.

<< Are you still talking to him?

>> Yeah we all are.

<< Why didn’t you tell me that?

>> You said you didn’t wanna hear anything about him and we just respected your decision.

Just like you thought. You can’t blame them. Anytime someone mentioned anything remotely related to Bucky, you either changed the subject or found a reason to leave. So you can’t help but wonder…

<< How is he doing?

>> Not great. He misses you.

<< I miss him too.

>> Are you gonna call him?

You look at the message for a long minute. Are you gonna call him? That’s the question. Maybe you should. Maybe you shouldn’t. Both of the options sound equally wrong. You have no idea what to do.

<< I don’t know what to do.

>> Just give him a call. He’s the love of your life.

You have no idea how long you have looked at that text. Maybe for a couple of minutes, maybe for an hour. 

He’s the love of your life.

He’s a bastard, but he really is the love of your life.

And you are the love of his life.

Where do you go from here? You look at your phone once again. You finally know what to do.

[mon-chef]

Scarves and Scrunchies.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Sydney liked to think she kept her emotions secured tightly behind a steel trap, only letting them free when she had fully processed them. That wasn’t the case. Carmy, observant as he was, especially of Sydney, realized she had a very revealing tell. Her hair.

Sometimes she’d fly into work with her braids swishing quickly around her shoulders and no scarf yet to tamp them down. She’d be kind as she always was, clear-headed and even voiced, but he knew that she’d been zooming frantically around her corner of Chicago all morning. Her usual hairstyle; a ponytail pulled tight with a colorful scrunchie and, an equally colorful and matching, head scarf meant she’d picked out her clothes the night before, she’d gotten “enough” sleep, and she was ready to be a rockstar in their kitchen.

To be honest Carmy liked all of the ways she styled her hair but his favorite was when she piled her braids into a bun at the top of her head with two braids hanging in front of her eyes. He didn’t know what she was silently revealing when she wore this because he was too busy stealing glances at her exposed neck and trying not to get caught staring into her brown eyes. He was rarely successful.

That morning she’d strode into his apartment muttering a quick hello before making her way straight into his kitchen to place the grocery bags down with a heavy sigh. Her hair was in a low, and slightly messy bun. He figured she’d been fidgeting with it anxiously on the train and in one final burst of annoyance she hastily twirled it into a loose ball at the base of her neck so she wouldn’t be tempted to grab at it anymore.

The scrunchie she’d chosen was black, the same color as the long sleeve, she had on under her oversized ‘Earth Wind and Fire’ t-shirt. He noted that she was wearing leggings today instead of her usual baggy pants. He tried his best not to note how her bending down slightly to put the grocery bags on the counter caused her t-shirt to ride up and that he could see the outline of her backside. “Rough morning?”

Sydney crossed her arms indignantly over her chest and fixed him with a hard glare. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“What? Nothing. You just look—“

“Like shit? Got it. Cool. Thanks.” He took a step away from her, surprised. “How are we already fighting, you just walked in.”

“No, hello. No, how are you—“

“You didn’t give me a chance!”

“Just straight to you look terrible.” Confused he ran a hand through his blonde curls. After which he silently cursed himself for messing up the work he’d done that morning in preparation for her arrival “I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t need to. I read between the lines.” Carmen could feel heat rising up his neck.“Syd I would never say-I- I-I like- I think you’re-” Sydney’s frown faltered, she was trying not laugh. “You’re an asshole.”

“You’re so easy Carm, I had to.”

“No, you’re just really convincing. If you ever get sick of working at the Bear, you should definitely go into acting.”

She scoffed. “Oh shut the fuck up.”

“No, really.”

She rolled her eyes dramatically. “Even if that were true, you don’t have to worry about that. I’ll never get sick of the Bear…again.”

“Promise?” His sincerity froze them both in place. He wracked his brain trying to find more words to abate his embarrassment. “I just meant— .”

“I already tried that, remember?” The confusion melted off of her face and that familiar teasing glint came back into her eye. “And look where that got me.” Her loose bun deflated and instead of putting it back up she let her braids free and rolled the scrunchie onto her wrist.

Carmy didn’t know what he was more surprised at. The way she’d immediately thwarted the intimate moment he’d accidentally put them in or the way his breath hitched when her braids fell down to frame her face.

“Lucky us .” he sighed. Sydney grabbed a jar from the table and and handed it to him to put in his refrigerator, he did thankfully to get at least a few paces from the charged atmosphere.

“ You never look like shit by the way. ” He clarified leaning his back against the fridge. He liked having a sort of short hand with his CDC, so there was no way that he was going to give it away and tell her the real reason he’d made his comment but he did want to clarify. “You just seem stressed.”

“I am, a little.” She bit her lip, contemplating. He could see the exact moment she decided against sharing her thoughts with him. Instead she pivoted to a safer topic. “I’m more nervous about this dish though.”

“Nothing to be nervous about, if we fuck it up we can just start again.” She nodded in agreement but still had her teeth pressed into her bottom lip as she surveyed the groceries she’d just lugged up the stairs.

“I think this is everything.”

“Looks like it.”

Carmen placed a quick hand on her shoulder before turning to the vegetables. “Don’t be anxious, it’ll be fine.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Yeah. We got this.”

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

They did not ‘have this’. After burning, over salting, and undercooking the two had smartly decided to save their subsequent efforts for another day. Carmy had suggested they chill on his couch while they waited for take-out.

“Oh shit, my scarf. You found it!”

“Oh yeah.” Carmy said sort of glumly watching her yank it from the spot he’d thoughtfully placed it.

“I’ve been looking for this, I thought it flew off when I went to the pier.”

“No, it’s been here.”

“It’s my favorite.” Sydney flashed him one of her big toothy grins, his favorite.

“I know.” You wear it the most, and usually on bun days.

She gave him a look “What do you like keep track of all of my scarves?”

Yeah, actually. Carmy couldn’t think of a quip to whip back fast enough, so he stayed silent. Syd was stifling a laugh when he summoned the courage to look at her. Fuck, had he said that out loud? No. Clearly he wasn’t the only person who could read their business partner’s secret tells. Suddenly he felt transparent, and crimson-discomfort creeped slowly up his body. “Mind if I leave it here? Never know when a hair scarf related emergency might come up. I’d feel safer with you looking after it, since you clearly care so much.”

He rolled his eyes at her attempt to razz him. He should be embarrassed, he was, but not enough to insist she take it back. It was weird how much he wanted it, a piece of her in his apartment, but Sydney didn’t seem to mind, so neither did he.

[lifelaughloveharrystyles]

Ross Lynch: givemewhatuwant

*on tour with the driver era 2024*

“Y/N do you know where we are at?” Garrison calls from the back of the bus with all the boys.

The Driver Era has been on tour for about a month now, traveling all over the east coast showcasing their phenomenal songs that they made from scratch. I had the amazing opportunity to come on the tour as one of the equipment managers. This has been my biggest dream in my career, working at “The Doors Rock Shop”. It’s a well known instrument company in Atlanta Georgia where people would go to get a guitar and a crystal at the same time. I got this amazing job with touring The Driver Era with my cousin Poppy who is with us on tour as one of the tour photographers.

“Y/N!” Ryland shouts from the back. I look outside to see we are about to arrive to the venue in Asheville North Carolina. “we are about to pull up to the venue guys!” I said looking to the back of the bus and I see Ross in the hall with just pajamas pants on. “Word! i’m ready to stretch my legs and get out and move.” Ross said stretching his arms looking like he just woke up from a nap.

Ross and I have gotten really close on this tour. i’m normally not on their bus, i travel in a large van behind the bus with the crew. We haven’t stopped talking to each other whether it’s in person while im helping carry his beautiful gibson to him when he goes in for his solos or text. We make these jokes everytime I have to give his guitar to him in a show and I always make a bet with him about how many girls will scream “take your shirt off!”. Secretly I was jealous I couldn’t be those beautiful girls making him smile and shake his hips like that and pleading to take his shirt off for me. Having him as a friend is the best, I just know he could never like me that way. I’m his equipment manager, I lift speakers and drums for a living and he’s a fucking rockstar sex god. I mean look at his recent ex. like how can I compare to Jaz Sinclair. I have to be just a friend to protect myself from that energy.

Everyone ends up scattering across the venue to start their projects for the day. The show starts at 8 so I scramble around to the strings van to transfer the instruments to their spots on the stage so the boys can start soundchecking and tuning their guitars to the songs.

“Y/N why is it you’re always the one carrying the most stuff in the building when Greg is suppose to do that because of your knee.” Riker says from the green room where I walked in with a coffee for myself and him. “Riker i’m telling you Greg is so fucking slow I can’t bear watching him take 45 minutes to set up a guitar stand. I gotta get the shit done so I can actually enjoy myself for the day.” I express to him and i’m frazzled pinging from one corner of the stage to the other figuring out all the wires and amps so they can start their sound check.

“Y/N take a deep breath or a certain someone is going to come in here and see this and raise hell.” Riker laughed as he secretly points in the direction of Ross and Rocky’s green room. I roll my eyes and wave him off not believing a word he said.

Riker thinks he’s slick with trying to hook me up with Ross ever since we started the tour. i’ve seen the small hints of asking ross to come to me when he can’t find the setlist or where his extra picks are. Riker is basically our tour mom, he is making everyone smoothies and making sure everyone is hydrated before every show. Besides Ross, me and Riker have been attached to the hip.

“Shut up Riker before I grab a pair of scissors and cut your bass strings” I jokingly threaten him with a huge smile on my face.

“Oh God Riker what did you do to piss Y/N off again?” Ross said coming out of the side stage with a vintage baseball cap that says “i’m a local celebrity” with a white tee and baggy light washed denim pants. he slings his arm over my shoulder making us sway to the random song playing on the speakers. I look up to see him already looking down at me with that infamous smile he wears. “Nice Hat pretty boy.” i laughed and flicked the bill of the hat. “So which songs are we playing tonight? any newbies?” I smile back at him really hoping he’ll play one of my favorite songs at the show tonight. “Yes Y/N we are playing givemewhatuwant and Natural if that’s what you’re asking.” he chuckles and pulls away from me to pick up his guitar to start sound checking. I squeal and jump off the stage and start jogging to the doors to get the rest of the equipment “YES ROSS YOURE THE BEST” I scream at him and blow him a friendly kiss as I run out the door.

*Ross’ POV*

Y/N is the most precious and loving human I have ever met. she just brightens the room when she walks in. Whether it’s her bubbly personality or just her energy she radiates, it’s one of the reasons why I love having her close by. She makes me feel like life is worth living again. Heartbreak after heartbreak, I felt like love isn’t an option for me anymore. I have thousands of people falling at my feet but it never fills the void of feeling unloved. Hookups and one night stands can only do so much to the point even sex isn’t appealing to you anymore. Ever since Y/N walked into my life, it’s has taken a complete 180. I feel lighter. happier. I wake up excited for the day knowing I get to see and talk to the most beautiful woman I have ever met. She doesn’t compare to any girl I have ever been with or even seen. Befriending her was my first hit in the game and i’m ready for the home run. I want her to be mine. I need her to be my girl. I feel like I can’t live life without her by my side. she completes me in a way I have never felt before. I’m worried i’ll scare her away if I confess what i’ve been feeling inside. I just need to rip the bandaid and just go for it, be a man and express this to this wonderful girl.

*10 minutes before showtime*

*Y/N POV*

“what’s our bet tonight Ross?” I ask him walking up to the band. I just finished helping set up the stage for The Driver Era after Valé’s performance. She did amazing as she does every night. Tonight however the energy feels a bit off. Ross looks like he’s in his head about something and I just don’t know what. Everything went smoothly today and the crowd already has such a good vibe for the night, there’s nothing else to worry about. “Ross? You good?” I asked while rubbing his arm while he looks off in the distance.

“Yeah i’m good, just in my head a bit. Nothing to worry about, probably stage fright.” he has a fake smile plastered on his face to try and not worry me. I know him better than anyone that he is in his head about something and it’s definitely not stage fright.

“Do you need to talk before you go on? you are not good. you can try and fake smile at me but you know it’s not going to work. What’s going on in that head of yours?” I step forward to see his full face instead of the side and look up in those beautiful hazel brown eyes he adorns on his face. he sighs loudly and closes his eyes before opening them he says. “Y/N there’s been a lot of shit going on in my life and ever since I met you, it seems like everything disappeared when you walked in the room. You make me so happy and giddy to the point I get antsy when I don’t see you first thing in the morning. You light up my life and I know we only have known each other for a month but I feel it. My God I hope you feel it too so I don’t feel like the biggest idiot before this sold out show. I like you Y/N, I don’t want to wake up without you by my side. Please tell me you feel the same.” he pleads and grabs

my face in his hands and put his forehead to mine.

“Just shut up and kiss me Ross. I’ve been waiting way too long for you to say those words. I just need your lips on mine before you-“ he slams his lips on mine before I could sentence my sentence. I wrap my arms around his neck melting in his arms loving every second of this moment.

“Ross let’s go! you’ll have plenty of time to make out with Y/N after the show, come on!” Rocky shouts from the side stage making us break away from our heavy kiss. I smile and push him towards his brother. “Lucky for you i’m going to be in the pit with Poppy helping her take photos. I promise to get the best angles, I might sneak a couple just for my entertainment.” I smirk and he laughs and kisses my cheek and runs on stage right on his cue.

The boys are rocking out and came out full throttle. I’ve been helping poppy this show because one of the extra photographers called out and couldn’t make it. I can already feel the energy in this knowing it’s gonna be a great night. “ Y/N why has Ross been staring and smirking at you all night? Did he finally have the balls to do it?” She smirks at me side glancing to the stage. I look up and sure enough he’s staring at me with hooded eyes with his hair clinging to his sweaty forehead. He squats down to my level and curls his finger for me to come closer. I take a step towards him and he whispers “you are making it incredibly hard for me to stop this show and take you backstage to have my girl strip that skirt off so I can fuck that beautiful pussy.” he kisses my earlobe and pulls away before I could even react. my jaw drops and I step back and look at poppy and she’s busting out laughing at my reactions and hugs me and squeals in excitement. She always said from day one that Ross will end up falling over me. I brushed it out because of stupidity and insecurities. Now i’m like ‘fuck she’s right…. again’.

“That man is already planning the wedding in his brain and he hasn’t even gotten in your pants yet. I saw the kiss when I was setting up. “ She says while snapping pictures of the band while they play “Natural”. I get excited and dance and sing along. I decide to tease ross a bit, i shake my hips to the beat and drag my palms up my stomach making my shirt ride up a bit. He notices and bites his lip and tilts his hat down and looks at me with sultry eyes. I wink at him and flick him off. he smirks and proceeds to perform the rest of the song.

The show finally ended and the boys are celebrating in the green room with a couple of drinks. I finished my job for the night when I start searching for Ross to actually start my night. I feel hands wrap around my middle and I instantly melt when I smell fresh body wash and sandalwood. “Let’s go to the bus, I promise to keep my hands to myself” Ross mumbles kissing my neck with his hands roaming my hips pulling me closer to his warmth. I chuckle and turn my head to see his face and tease his lips with mine before I dart towards the direction of the bus. I hear his laughs behind me when I get up to the door to the bus.

he meets me inside and starts teasing my neck again guiding me to the back of the bus. He closes the sliding door and locks it in place. I arch my neck towards him in a way to let him know I want his lips on me. He starts sucking on my neck behind my ear. he kisses all the way to my lips and he slams his lips on mine. I moan and run my fingers through his hair and tug at the ends. He groans in my mouth and starts unzipping my corset like top. I gasp when I feel the cold air on my bare back. The shirts comes loose from my body and falls at our feet. “Beautiful” He whispers to himself when he see my breasts in full exposure. He starts peppering kisses all over my breasts and he cups his lips around my nipple and start sucking to drive me wild. I moan a sound that has never escaped from me before and I tug his face up to mine “Just fuck me already Ross. I need you so bad. Feel how wet I am” I whimper grabbing his hand and pressing it to my core. he rubs his fingertips against the sensitive nub and I moan loudly biting my lip. He shrugs his pants off and throws his shirt somewhere while I undress myself as fast as I can. “I wanted this to be slow and make this moment last as long as possible but I can’t bear anything anymore. I need to be inside you baby.” Ross said as he slips on a condom with a groan. He pushes the tip towards my entrance and I close my eyes waiting for the first push. “Look at me Y/N. I need to see your face” he pleads. I open my eyes the same time he enters me and I gasp at the size of him. He slowly thrusts in and out letting me get used to his size.

“Faster Baby. Fuck you feel so good” I scream as his pace picks up. he grabs my leg and throws it over his left shoulder slamming his hips into the back of my thighs. He presses a hand against my stomach and I moan feeling him deeper inside of me. “Fuck baby I can feel it. My god your pussy is perfect. You’re so tight, you were made for me” He groans fucking me harder making me slam a hand on the window beside me. “Ross i’m so close. please let me cum. fuck baby” I moan in his ear and drag my nails down his back. “Yes baby. Let go for me. Cum all over my cock. Make a mess of me. “ he slams his hips into mine as we both hit our climax at the same time. he thrusts slowly while we come from our highs. I breathe heavily and rest my head on the armrest of couch. Ross slowly lays his head on my breast letting some of his weight fall on me. I run my hand through his hair and just smile wanting this moment to never end.

“Whatcha thinking about beautiful?” he asked slowly pulling out making me wince. “Just realizing how did I get this lucky? I don’t deserve you.” my eyes start tearing up looking at his eyes and studying all of his features. “You don’t deserve me? You got it all wrong baby. You are the most beautiful human I have ever laid my eyes on. We are meant to be here in this moment for a reason and I know down the road we will look back at this time and just laugh and smile about all these memories we have made together. I want to make memories with you forever Y/N. l- I love you so fucking much I can’t hold it in anymore.” He rambles sitting up on the L shaped couch and pulling me to his chest. I breathe in his scent and close my eyes. “Ross, I love you so much it makes it hard for me to breathe. I’ll love you to the day I die.” I look up at him and he slams his lips on mine putting a hand over my heart to feel the thumps of my rapid heartbeat. Our lips move and he slips his tongue in and our tongues dance along together lazily.

We finally had the energy to get up after 30 minutes of lazy kisses and just appreciating the moment we just shared. Everyone comes back to the bus after the celebratory shots.

“So where did both of you guys run off too earlier?” Garrison asked slipping on a hoodie and a crochet bucket hat I made for him in Wisconsin. “I don’t kiss and tell but it was definitely fun for sure.” Ross winks and pulls me to sit on his lap.

“They fucked in the back of the bus. there’s a hand print on the window to prove it.” Ryland said smirking into his tequila soda. I roll my eyes and tap the bottom of his cup to make it spill all over his neck and shirt. “Y/N what the fuck dude!” he shouts snatching napkins from Riker. I laugh so hard I snort and then that makes everyone in the bus have a laughing fit. I lean my head back on ross’ shoulder and he kisses the top of my head whispering “I love you” in my ear. my eyes start drooping and I fall asleep on the love of my life and already can’t wait to wake up to experience this life with him.

[unsolved-duvall]

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐆𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐀 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 (𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐓𝐰𝐨) - 𝐞.𝐦. (𝟏𝟖+)

part one | part two

older rockstar!eddie x reader

summary eddie munson was an asshole, you knew that now. and the truth was you hated him, so much so that you couldn't stop thinking about him.

eddie munson hated himself, and he couldn't stop thinking about you. (16.3k)

warnings 18+ minors dni, age gap (reader is 22, eddie is 40), angst, asshole eddie, references to abuse, drinking (reader gets drunk), reader hurts herself (not intentionally!), very brief mention of blood, smut, making out, oral sex, penetrative sex, fingering, an overuse of nicknames. if i have missed anything please politely let me know <3

Seven Months Later. 

There’s this theory called the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon. It’s the scientific explanation for why you start to notice something, or someone more when your awareness of them increases. 

It’s an illusion. Your brain creates a cognitive bias. The truth is that thing was there all along. You just never cared enough to notice it before. 

Like Eddie fucking Munson. 

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The fall air was heavy with a bitter chill as it slinked in through your half-open window. You were barely conscious, your body still heavy with sleep, but you felt the cold wind embrace you in an unwelcome hug and you pulled your thick comforter over your head in a bid to escape it. 

You weren’t sure what time it was, your mind hazy as memories of last night came flooding back to you. You attempted to push them to the back of your mind, you didn’t need the self-loathing to begin already, you could get to that after you had managed to at least eat breakfast. 

Your arms felt heavy as you lifted them, stretching them above you. Your movements caused your comforter to fall around you, your eyes squinted to adjust to the harsh light that bled through the curtains. They were second-hand and made from really sheer material, they almost made no difference. But you kept them up anyway; you were a young woman living in a city by yourself, so you couldn’t afford to lose the small amount of privacy they granted you. 

Dragging your limp body out of bed (fuck you, college) you made your way over to your closet, grabbing the first crumpled-up clothes you saw and throwing them on, not bothering to even look at what you were now wearing.

And no, you didn’t shower, and yes you knew you should have. But quite frankly, you barely had the energy to get out of bed and go to class; asking you to shower and wash your hair was asking far too much from you. 

You had two exams today and a shift at the diner afterwards. None of which you were particularly looking forward to, but there wasn’t a lot you could do about that now except grin and bear it. 

Which is what you did. It was what you always did. 

As you stepped out of your apartment complex you felt the frost-bitten wind caress your face. You swore under your breath, pulling your coat tighter around you in a feeble attempt to warm yourself up. 

Looking up your eyes landed on the obnoxiously large billboard that sat opposite your building. And on it, of course, was none other than Corroded Coffin, with Eddie sitting front and centre. Promotion for their upcoming tour. 

You stared at it for far too long to be considered a passing glance. And just before you turned on your heel to walk to class you pulled a cold hand out of your pockets and pointedly gave it the middle finger. 

Fuck you, universe. 

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“I’ll tell you what you can do Marianne, you can shove your ideas and fuck-” 

“Okay, you’re done” John slammed his hands down on the table in front of him, pushing his chair back as he got up and all but manhandled Eddie, pulling him out before he could add more fuel to the fire, “Get out, come on. Jesus fucking Christ-” 

It was early. The sun could have only just risen when he woke up and he could hear the fucking birds chirping kind of early. 

It was 9 AM. 

He could easily have stopped John from dragging him out of the meeting room like a petulant child, but that would take energy he simply didn’t have. And the energy he did have he was more than happy to use on shouting at people who, in his humble opinion, were being pretty fucking stupid for it being the crack of dawn. 

9 AM. 

So instead he raised his calloused hands in mock defeat as he let John lead him down the wide corridor, a warning hand on his shoulder, and into another room. The room was identical to the one he had just been in; but there was no one in there, which made it much preferable to him. 

The harsh morning light beamed in through the floor-to-ceiling windows lining the exterior wall. The wall adjoining the room to the corridor was also made entirely of glass. Eddie leant his body weight against it, running his hands over his face as John shut the door behind them. Eddie’s eyes flicked to him briefly and he saw his body tense. He knew that he’d pissed him off. But he didn’t care, these moments were second nature to the both of them by now.

None of them dared speak first. Both of them quietly assessed the other, figuring out how explosive this was about to get. 

Very. If the past was any indication. 

Eddie being, well - Eddie, pulled out a cigarette and placed it between his lips, his hands fumbling around his many pockets trying to remember where he had last put his lighter. 

“You can’t smoke in here.” 

John’s curt voice cut through the thick tension clouding the room. Eddie’s eyes snapped to Johns, fucking insufferable bastard, and his hands halted their searching of his pockets. 

“If I don’t smoke I’ll turn into an asshole” Eddie bit out the words, a sarcastic smile painting his face. 

“Ah, so no different than usual then? Put the cigarette down and stop being a dick,” John walked over to the meeting table and pulled out a flimsy chair, sitting down with an exaggerated sigh, “I’m tired of playing your fucking father.” 

“You’re barely five years older than me.” Eddie’s voice was harsh as he snapped back at John, but his face was heavy with some emotion that even John couldn’t place. He knew bringing up Eddie’s father was a bad idea. He only pulled out that card when he was desperate. 

“Exactly. I have two kids at home. You’re old enough to be their father, so don’t make me speak to you the way I speak to them. Shit, they’re better behaved than you are.” 

Anyone who knew John knew that he really did care for Eddie. He treated him like a brother, but Eddie didn’t yet return the same sentiment. John figured he probably never would, and he was okay with that. 

He knew Eddie’s history. All of it. He understood why Eddie was the way he was. He just wished he could help him. He also knew that if he told Eddie this, he would most likely leave with a black eye if he dared show any ounce of pity for him. 

Eddie liked to be treated a certain way. Harsh words shared between people on the most basic level. It made him feel safe. If he never connected with anyone he couldn’t hurt them. 

Or be hurt when they left him.

So John never mentioned any of what he knew. But Eddie knew that he was aware of his past, and he hadn’t abandoned him yet, so that was good enough for him. 

“You keep pulling shit like this and the label will drop you. It’s as simple as that.” 

Eddie scoffed, fiddling with the still unlit cigarette between his fingers. “I’d like to see them try.” 

“Okay, listen to me” John leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, feet planted as if he was ready for a fight any minute. “You leave to go on tour in two hours—your first show is tomorrow. Figure your shit out. Drop the asshole facade you’re so desperately trying to hide behind,” 

Eddie didn’t say anything, he feared if he did he would only regret it. He simply stayed leaning against the wall, not looking away from John once. His stare was cold, calculated. 

“You’re not better than anyone in that room. No matter what the girls you’re fucking every night might be saying to you.” 

Eddie held his stare, a smirk pulling at his mouth. 

“They don’t usually say a lot actually. It’s hard when they're being fucked dumb, poor things can barely string a sentence together when we’re done” 

Eddie was looking for a reaction. He wanted a fight, needed a fight. 

John bit his tongue, biting back the words he knew Eddie was waiting to hear. He wanted Eddie to tell him he was an ass. That he was pathetic. That he deserved everything that had happened to him. 

He wouldn’t give him that satisfaction. 

“What? Do you not get that sort of reaction from your wife after you’ve fucked her? That’s poor show John, I can teach you a few things if you need me to?” Eddie’s venomous tone hit exactly where he intended it to, he could tell by the way John clenched his jaw, “Or I could just fuck her for you.” 

“What the fuck’s happened to you, Eddie?” His voice was suddenly soft, concerned. Eddie hated it. “Is this all about that girl, because-” 

“Fuck off,” Eddie said with a deafening calm, “I’m going for a smoke.”

And with that Eddie turned and left the room, his heavy footsteps echoing throughout the empty corridor. 

“You better not miss the flight later! You can’t fuck up everyone else’s life like you’re doing to your own!” John sighed as the words landed on deaf ears, Eddie already too far gone to pay any attention to him. 

It was going to be a long long tour. 

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Carpe Diem. That was a thing people said right? Well, you were here to tell them that was bullshit. 

Seize the day. Whatever that meant - it was certainly not meant for broke college students who had recently been fucked over by a world-famous rockstar, had almost certainly just failed their final exams and now had to endure a seven-hour shift at a diner. 

No, that saying was intended for people who already had their life together. Middle-aged moms living in the suburbs with their two children and a perfect husband. Who woke up each morning and decided between going to a new yoga class or a coffee morning with their book club girlfriends. 

Those were the type of people Carpe Diem was meant for. 

Not you. 

You had managed to get caught in the rain on your way to your shift. The cold rain soaking through your clothes and onto your skin enhanced every emotion you were already feeling. The cold wind was biting as you swerved through the bustling crowd on the sidewalk. It was nearing 10 PM, and you wouldn’t be home until the early hours of the morning; you rarely picked up night shifts. You had been working there for almost three years and you could count on one hand the number of times you had worked a night shift. But right now you needed the money, so when the shift was offered to you, who were you to turn it down? 

Once you had finally arrived you had almost immediately snapped at your manager when you walked through the heavy doors of the diner; she had made some innocent joke about how you would have been drier if you had swum here. 

She quickly realised you weren’t in the mood for jokes and told you she had a change of clothes in the back you could borrow. You nodded your head and forced an appreciative smile onto your face. You liked your manager, she was maybe a decade older than you, give or take, and she always made sure the chefs cooked you some food during a long shift. 

You ignored everyone else, one chef and two other waitresses who would be leaving soon, as you made your way to the staff room at the back of the diner, heading straight to your manager's locker and grabbing the clothes she had folded and placed on the top shelf. 

You threw on the jeans but hesitated as you unfolded the all too familiar shirt. You recognised the design instantly and you felt a lump form in your throat. You had the exact same shirt at home, although yours was lying abandoned in the back of your closet, and you had been content never to see, let alone wear it, again.

The worn-out corroded coffin logo stared back at you. 

Well fuck. 

It had taken you all of two seconds to decide that you would rather spend your night in a half-soaked t-shirt instead. When your manager had seen you walk back out, apron tied around your waist and a damp t-shirt clinging to you, she hadn’t questioned it. Instead, she pointed to your area for the night and told you it shouldn’t be too busy, she smiled a genuine smile and rubbed your back, like a caring mom, before leaving you to it. You could tell by the look of concern she tried to hide that she knew something was wrong. You seemed tense, which you never were. 

You hadn’t told anyone what had happened. You weren’t the first girl to be fucked over by Eddie and you certainly wouldn’t be the last. You felt ridiculous for being so hung up on what had happened. 

But there was just something about him. And you hated him for it. 

You saw pieces of him everywhere you went. Heard his voice in every store or cafe you went into, and every time it cut into you a little bit deeper than the last. He had left his mark on you and you had no idea how to get rid of it. The truth was you weren’t sure you wanted to. He made you feel safe. Which was insane given his reputation, but every time he looked at you it felt like a summer breeze wrapped itself around you. He smiled at you and it felt like running into the ocean for the first time on holiday. Like nothing could hurt you as long as he was there. 

But then he had been the one to hurt you, so fuck him, right? 

Yeah. Fuck him. You had tables to serve, people to pretend to like, and a myriad of awful attempts at flirting to politely ignore for the next… seven hours. 

It was going to be a long long night. 

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The truth was Eddie had tried relentlessly to avoid coming back here. To this city. 

To you. 

But it hadn’t worked. His team had asked him multiple times why exactly he was so adamant about avoiding this place, but hell would have to open up and drag him down there before he would tell anyone it was because of you. 

You had fucked him up more than anyone ever had. And he had spent one night with you. 

He barely knew anything about you. He knew your name, and he knew how old you were. He also knew what you sounded like when you came. 

He hadn’t told anyone about you. John knew, of course. But every time he would try to mention ‘that girl’ to Eddie he would shoot him a look that said “I am not above punching you in the face” and that was that. 

So now here he was. In the one city on earth, he would have happily avoided for the rest of his godforsaken life- 

“Do you want to go straight to the hotel? I already made sure the security stopped people hanging around outside, so you don’t have to worry about that.” John’s voice sounded from beside Eddie, although he was barely listening. 

The moment the plane landed he felt his heart race. Which was stupid, because as far as he knew you didn’t actually live here. You might have been here on holiday or just came for the concert. 

Fuck he hopes you didn’t come just for him. 

“You know tour used to be fun, we used to do shit. Get fucked up.” Eddie didn’t turn to look at John whilst he spoke, choosing instead to smoke a cigarette out of the barely open window. The torrent of rain outside still managed to slip in through the open space, leaving raindrops to settle on Eddie’s hair that fell around his shoulders. 

Eddie had a habit of avoiding other people’s questions, even simple ones. John had picked up on that fact rather fast. It was best to let Eddie lead the conversation, so that’s what he did. 

“I remember,” John replied, staring straight ahead from the back seat, watching the traffic they were attempting to drive through, “That was ten years ago, things change, you know that.” 

Eddie did know that. It didn’t mean he had to like it. 

When Eddie didn’t bother to respond John cautiously said “they all have families now, Eddie. A wife and kids. Can you blame them for not wanting to get high every night and fuck up a hotel room?” 

Eddie clenched his jaw, flicking the burnt-out cigarette out of the window and onto the rain-soaked road, “You have a wife and kids, why are you here with me? Not with them, with your perfect little picket-fence family, huh?” 

“Because I’m working. I don’t spend time with you out of the goodness of my heart, you know. You pay me to be here, to make sure some insane fan doesn’t stalk you or some shit.” John tried to sound lighthearted, adding some humour to his all-too-true words. But it didn’t help. 

Eddie once again went quiet, whispering something under his breath about it all being “fucking bullshit” but that was it. He hadn’t apologised to John about that morning, the comment about his wife. He couldn’t bring himself to admit he was sorry. And he knew that made him the asshole everyone said he was, but he had been wearing that badge of honour for a long time, he’d be damned if he let it bother him now. Maybe he just was an asshole. 

“Do I assume you do just want to go straight to the hotel?” John asked again, he knew not to push Eddie but he really needed to let the poor driver know where he was taking them. Although with the traffic at a standstill, they wouldn’t be going anywhere anytime soon. 

“No” Eddie’s blunt response would have been enough to have most people stop talking to him. 

“Well, where do you wanna go then? I’m not driving around with you all fuckin’ night I’ll tell you that for nothing.” Eddie finally turned in his seat to look at John, although his gaze seemed to be focused on the window behind him instead, “It’s gone midnight, you may be a rockstar but I’m old. I need to sleep.” 

“Here. I’m hungry.” 

John turned, confusion evident as he furrowed his eyebrows and breathed out a barely audible “what?”. The car had stopped outside a diner, open twenty-four hours, based on the worn-out sign hanging in the window. There was no one inside, except a waitress. This was probably the only place in the city Eddie could go to without being spotted and harassed. 

“Are you serious? They have room service at the hotel and-” 

“I fucking said I wanna eat here, is that so hard to understand?” Eddie snapped, his hands fiddling with the bracelets and pieces of fabric he had tied around his left wrist. “I- can we just get out here, I’m fuckin’ starving” 

“Well if you would have eaten on the plane instead of insulting the food-” 

“That shit looked like I could have made it. Would you eat my cooking, John?” 

“You couldn’t pay me enough.” 

“Exactly.” Eddie took off his seatbelt and waved his hands toward the door on John’s side “let’s go.”

John reluctantly moved to open the door, stepping out into the cold rain. Eddie followed suit, taking in his surroundings as he waited for John to tell the driver something, probably asking him to come back in an hour. 

The bell hanging over the door rang out into the quietness of the diner as they both walked in, glad to be out of the rain for the brief time they were in it. It was quiet, save for the soft hum of a radio playing behind the counter. A woman stood behind it, her back turned and windswept hair flowing over her shoulders, an apron tied around her waist. Eddie could see that her shirt was damp and he couldn’t help the pang of guilt that rang through him as he realised she must have gotten caught in the downpour on her way here. Eddie had never had to work a service job before, but he knew damn well if he did and his clothes were soaked through before he had even started, he would have gone home. No questions asked. 

He made a mental note to try and be nice to her. He never did that, but he promised himself he would at least try. 

John hesitated a minute before walking over to an empty booth and sitting himself down, his eyes trained on the girl behind the counter. 

Eddie sat opposite him, stretching his legs out under the table and picking up the menu that was left on the table. He decided on the first thing he saw and threw the menu back down, sliding it over to John, but he still wasn’t looking anywhere except at the waitress behind the counter. 

“What’s the matter with you?” Eddie asked quizzically. John’s whole body language had changed the minute they had walked in. Sure, it wasn’t the most high-end place they had ever eaten, but Eddie had never taken him for a snob. 

“Okay, you’ve got about ten seconds to decide if you want to just get up and leave.” 

“What-” 

“Too late,” John said suddenly, his eyes darting back to Eddie “don’t be an asshole.” 

Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, what the fuck was he talking about? He looked around to see that the waitress had turned, now facing both of them.

And she was looking straight at Eddie. 

You were looking straight at Eddie.

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There are certain feelings that you’ve never been able to explain to people. You’ve never been particularly good at expressing how you feel because you’ve rarely been able to understand or process your own emotions. 

But as you stood in the diner, at 12:46 AM, and saw Eddie sitting across from you. You knew exactly how you felt. 

You felt angry. 

You felt heartbroken. 

You felt confused. 

You felt the happiest you had felt in seven months.

And then you felt the world fall out from underneath your feet. 

You felt like Eddie was about to rip your heart out all over again. 

You hadn’t moved. Shit. What the fuck were you meant to do? Eddie hadn’t moved either. But John had, and he was walking right towards you. 

“Hey,” he was tense, you could tell. “Listen, I don’t know what thoughts are running through your head right now. But, I can imagine at least one of them is that you’d like to punch him square in his face, right?” John tilted his head to the side, trying to gauge your reaction. You still hadn’t moved. You weren’t totally sure you were breathing. 

“I’m gonna trust that you won’t do that, if I’ve been able to hold off from smacking him every day for the past seven months I’m sure you can too.” 

John laughed awkwardly and cleared his throat. Something told you he wasn’t joking. 

“Now, there’s a bar over there.” He pointed past you, out of the window, towards the dive bar sitting directly across from the diner “And even though I can’t drink whilst I’m working. I am going to go there anyway. I’ll be gone twenty minutes. Talk to him. Ignore him. Throw him out of here, for all I care. Do whatever you’ve gotta do.” 

And with that John turned and walked out of the diner. The sounds of the city filled the diner as the door swung open and shut again. And then it was just you. And him. 

And those two old guys sat at a table in the corner. Ignore them. 

You shifted your weight on your feet, you wanted to talk to him. Needed to talk to him. 

Your feet had carried you over to his booth before you had realised what you were doing. You couldn’t read the expression on his face, and for a second you thought he wasn’t going to say anything, but then- 

“John ran out of here as quick as he fucking could, didn’t he?” Eddie… laughed? Genuinely laughed as he said it, a honey-thick smile covering his face. 

“Yeah, he basically floored it to the bar over there” you pointed awkwardly, even Eddie was sitting with his back to the window, and couldn’t see. He smiled again anyway, dropping his gaze from you to stare at his hands that were resting on the table. 

When you didn’t smile back you saw his whole body tense up. What did he expect from you here? To take him to the back room and fuck him? 

“Can you sit down, and talk for a minute, maybe?” 

“I’m working if you hadn’t already noticed.” You responded, voice slightly harsher than you meant for it to sound. 

“I know- shit, I know. I didn’t mean that you weren't, I just meant,” he was stumbling over every other word, and you know it should have given you some satisfaction to see him like this. To realise that maybe you weren’t the only one who came out of this whole thing scorned. But you felt sorry for him, his eyes were heavy with something sad. His usual cocky facade was nowhere to be seen. 

“I can sit for a while, it’s okay.” You hated how soft your voice went, Eddie heard it too, he bit back a smirk and sat up a bit straighter as you sat down across from him. 

“Your shirt is wet,” Eddie said, making a vague gesture with his hand. It was still wet, you guessed, although it was much drier than it had been. “They really made you work in wet clothes? They had nothing for you to wear. You must be cold, that’s all.” 

“My manager gave me some clothes to wear, yeah. I just kept my top because I didn’t feel like wearing hers.” 

Eddie cocked his head to the side, a silent question as to why. 

Well, fuck it. “She’s a big fan of yours. I didn’t want to walk around in a Corroded Coffin top all night so, here I am.” 

There it was. He had been waiting for it. The moment he couldn’t avoid it any longer. 

“Y/N I’m-” 

You cut him off, you weren’t ready to hear whatever sorry excuse he pulled out of his ass. “Sorry? An asshole? A bastard? Take your pick, seriously.” Eddie watched you, his face blank as he took in every word you said. 

You saw his jaw clench. The same way it had when he had left you alone in that hotel room. 

“You want me to say sorry? For what, exactly?” You physically flinched at his words, the harshness of them. That honey-thick smile was nowhere to be seen, his eyes had gone distant. 

“You want an apology because I treated you the same way I treat every other girl I fuck? Listen, sweetheart, you knew what the deal was from the start, don’t act like some fucking innocent party in all of this.” You felt the breath go from your lungs, he had leaned forward as was speaking to you, leaning on his forearms as he broke your heart again. 

“You’re telling me you didn’t go around telling anyone who would listen that we had fucked?” Eddie spat at you. 

“No. I didn’t.” Your voice was quiet but definite. “I didn’t tell anyone.” 

Eddie paused for a moment, something flashed across his face. Relief? Confusion? Anger? You truly couldn’t tell. You weren’t sure he could either. “Maybe you should have. Gossip tabloids will pay a lot of money for shit like that” he turned his head, looking away from you. You wanted to get up and walk away. Shout at him. Tell him how much he had hurt you. 

“You asked me to sit down so you could insult me, was that it?” you asked him, “well you’ve done that so can I go now?” 

“What did you think I was going to do? Profess my undying love for you? Tell you I tracked you down just so I could tell you how sorry I was?” Eddie shot back, he had built that wall back up around himself the minute you had snapped at him. He couldn’t bring himself back from that ledge, no matter how much he wanted to. And he so desperately wanted to. 

Because whenever his eyes landed on yours felt his heart break, he truly believed you held the whole world in your eyes, a world he longed to be a part of. 

“I thought you could be a decent fucking human being, Eddie.” Hearing you say his name made him feel like he was drowning. Your voice dropped as you decided you needed to get it out of your system.  “I thought you would have some respect for me. Do you know how fucked up I’ve been over this? I fucking cried over you.” 

Eddie didn’t try to interrupt, he didn’t have any reaction to what you had just said. You could almost believe he wasn’t listening to a word of what you were saying. 

He was. 

“I get it, okay. This is what you do. Fine. Good for you, if you’re happy like this then please don’t let me, or anyone else, stop you.” You weren’t sure where your confidence had come from, but you felt like this would be the only time he would be sat in front of you again. “I didn’t want to like you. I thought you would be a complete asshole, and I was fine with that.” 

Your gaze dropped from his face to his hands, where he was pulling at the jewellery he had on his left wrist. His hands gave away everything he wasn’t saying, and you didn’t think he was even aware of how much he was giving away. A couple of seconds later his hands stopped moving, and he moved them off the table, onto his lap. He hadn’t realised you were watching him so closely. He hated that. 

“Eddie, listen to me, I liked you. I felt safe with you” Eddie’s eyes scanned your whole face as you spoke, almost as if he was looking for any proof you were lying. You spoke slowly, determined for him to really hear you, and understand what you were saying. “You’re a good person, Eddie. You are not what everyone says you are. Maybe you try to be that guy, but you’re not. You care about other people, but I don’t think you care about yourself.” 

Eddie’s face had softened, he swallowed and shook his head, barely. But you saw him do it, nevertheless. 

“I don’t know you, I know that. But I think you want to be happy, you want to be a good person. But you can’t let yourself. I’m not saying this because I want you to fall in love with me, or some shit. But I hope one day you will fall in love with someone. And I hope you’ll let yourself love them.” 

All of a sudden it was too quiet. You hadn’t even noticed that the two older gentlemen who had been in the diner had left. A twenty-dollar bill was left on the table. The radio played dimly in the background, the rain clattered against the windows and roof. The muffled sounds of the city nightlife outside. Eddie hadn’t said anything to you. You nodded your head and shuffled out of the booth, prepared to leave him alone until John got back. 

You walked back over to the counter, picking up the money as you went. You weren’t sure how long it had been. You had made yourself a coffee and were about to start tidying up when you heard Eddie move. His heavy footsteps echoed off the floor, his leather jacket rubbing against itself. You looked up, expecting to see him walk out. But he didn’t. 

“I’m– we’re playing a show. Tomorrow. If you want to come, that would– fuck, um.” you had never heard his voice sound like it did right now. Soft, but still him. That confidence was hidden just below the surface. “Please come. If you don’t want to watch the show, then come when it finishes.” 

You were the one not saying anything now. You were so angry with him, he still hadn’t apologised. He had barely said anything to you, apart from the insults he had thrown at you. So why the fuck did you want to go. Why could you not imagine this being the last time you saw him? 

“Come to the door, ask security to get John. He’ll make sure you get in okay, I promise.” 

You didn’t have time to even nod in agreement before Eddie was heading for the door, he opened it and you couldn’t drag your eyes away from him. Even with the promise of seeing him tomorrow, it felt like too much of a risk to not take him in as much as you could whilst he was there. 

“I’m sorry.” 

And then he walked out, letting the door shut behind him. Only this time he had said something to you before he left you. And you knew, no matter how much it would make you hate yourself, that you would see him tomorrow. 

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“What the fuck is wrong with you? Genuinely, I’m genuinely asking you, this isn’t a joke anymore.” Eddie knew John would be insufferable on the drive to the hotel, but if he knew he would be like this? Eddie would have walked. 

“I apologised to her. I invited her to the show, whatever she does is her decision.” Eddie bit out, John laughed at his words. The kind of laugh that said are-you-clinically-insane? Eddie couldn’t find it in him to disagree with that. 

“Eddie, I have known you for almost as long as that girl has been alive-” 

“Okay well that’s not what I need to hear right now, John for fuck-” 

“No, listen to me. I have known you since you were barely older than her. And I have never ever seen you be so fucked up over someone else. I have never seen you care about someone else the way you do that girl– and don’t try and bullshit me here. Because you do care about her.” John sounded blunt, harsh. But Eddie knew he only sounded like that when he loved someone and wanted them to be okay. He only pulled out that voice when he needed to slap some sense into Eddie. 

Eddie had never told him, but he did love John like a brother. He might tell him someday, maybe with you next to him. Maybe. 

“For the past seven months, there is not a day gone by where I have looked at you and you weren’t completely zoned out. You were thinking about her, every time. I knew that. So now, here’s your chance. Not everyone gets those, you know that better than anyone.” 

Eddie held back a shaky breath. John saw it, but he knew they needed to have this conversation. 

“You are not your father, Eddie.” John needed him to truly understand that. “You never have been him, and you never will be. You won’t ever hurt that girl, in whatever way you’re afraid you will.” 

Eddie froze, and then– “I don’t want to hurt her. I would never, I promise. But what if–” 

“You are not your father,” John repeated “I know the kind of things he said to you, how he treated you. And how he treated your mother.” 

Eddie nodded his head, tears welling in his eyes as he let John talk. 

“The idea that you are even related to that man is astounding. And, how you got this reputation is beyond me.” John laughed, remembering something “You– you forced me to adopt a kitten you saw outside your trailer when I first met you, told me it needed to live with someone who had a ‘fancy-ass’ house. You gave her to me and threatened to tell my girlfriend if I said no.” Eddie laughed through the tears that were staining his cheeks. 

“Don’t let your father win. He’s not around to control you anymore. If you ask me, you should have gotten on your knees and begged that girl to forgive you; begged her to give you a second chance.” The car stopped and John looked out of the window, the lights from the hotel flickering through the rain. John turned back to Eddie as he took off his seatbelt “Now, I don’t know if she’s going to turn up tomorrow. But if she does? Then she could be the happiest girl in the world if you just let yourself be vulnerable.” 

Eddie nodded again, afraid that if he spoke his voice would break with all the emotions that were running through him. 

“I assume I’m chaperoning this girl during the show tomorrow?” John said as they both climbed out of the car. 

Eddie nodded, and John flung an arm around him as they walked into the hotel. 

“I do not get paid enough for everything I do for you.” 

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After Eddie had left the rest of your shift flew by. No one else came in, which was normal for a weeknight. You spent the last couple of hours of your shift trying to distract yourself from the thoughts that were clouding your brain. Once the sun had started to rise and the orange sunlight began to flood through the windows you felt yourself heave a sigh of relief. 

Your manager popped out from the back office every now and then, if she was aware of your run-in with Eddie she didn’t say anything. She never worked the night shift (being the manager had its perks), but the other waitress had called in sick earlier, and there was no one else to cover her. 

She had told you she would drive you home, there was no way she was letting you get a taxi. You didn’t argue with her, thanking her and telling her you’d give her gas money, considering your apartment was in the opposite direction to yours. She was adamant you would do no such thing. 

Just before 5 AM, the morning waitresses came in. You wouldn’t call them friends per se, but they were nice enough. One was in her mid-forties, with mousy brown hair that she always wore in a long ponytail, bouncing with each footstep she took during her shift. The other was around your age, and you were closer to her. You had been for drinks with her a couple of times, she was loud and extroverted so you never had to do much talking, which you were perfectly happy with. 

They made polite conversation as they walked in, asking you how the night had been and if anything eventful had happened. 

“Nope, it was pretty boring, to be honest.” There was no way in hell you were telling them that Eddie Munson had been sitting not even a foot away from where they were standing. 

You politely dismissed yourself and went to find your manager. You ran into each other in the back hallway, she laughed telling you she was just about to come and rescue you. 

The drive home was quiet, casual conversation was shared between the two of you, but nothing more. Soon enough she pulled up outside of your apartment building. You thanked her and went to get out of the car, but before you could she placed a hand on your arm. 

“Y/N if there’s something bothering you, you can talk to me, you know? You’ve been quiet for a few months now. I don’t want to intrude or push any boundaries, but I care about you. And not just because you’re a good waitress.” You both laughed, and you assured her you were okay. Maybe one day you’d tell her what had been going on. But not just yet. 

You went to bed as soon as you stepped foot into your apartment, only making time to pull off your clothes and throw on the oversized t-shirt you slept in. The mattress seemed to swallow you whole as you threw your body down and pulled your comforter over your head. 

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You only realised you hadn’t set an alarm when you woke up that evening, with a couple of hours left before you needed to leave. 

To see Eddie. 

Oh fuck. 

You stumbled through your apartment to your bathroom and jumped in the shower. The cold water stole a breath from you and made sure you were awake. It took far too long for the water in your building to warm up, and to be honest, you figured taking a cold shower before you saw Eddie couldn’t be a bad thing. 

Coming out of the bathroom, a fluffy towel wrapped around you, you turned on the lamps you had dotted around your apartment, the daylight quickly fading. 

Your apartment was nice, you were incredibly lucky you had stumbled upon it when you moved here. It was only a studio, but what more did you need when it was just you? You separated your bedroom from the lounge and kitchen with a curtain that hung from the ceiling. It had been there when you moved in and you didn’t question how exactly the previous residents had got it there in the first place. 

The rest of the apartment was undoubtedly old-fashioned. With 60’s and 70’s architecture but you made it your own. You brought all of your furniture from thrift stores, leaning into the 60’s look that you had been lumbered with. A variety of rugs covered the floor, lamps were placed on tables and plants were in every corner. It felt homely, certainly far from perfect but it was your own, and that was all that mattered. 

You spent an hour or so doing your makeup, hair and getting dressed. You had never been the most confident person, but tonight you felt genuinely pretty. But you barely gave yourself time to let yourself feel that before the nerves took over your body. You felt lightheaded, a telltale sign that your anxiety was about to get the better of you. 

So you did what you should never do in those situations. You eyed up the bottle of vodka you had out on your kitchen counter, left over from the other night when your friends had come over. 

You told yourself you’d do one shot. Ease your nerves and loosen you up so you could at least talk to Eddie when you saw him. 

Now, you would like to reiterate that this was the worst decision you could have made. 

After the first shot, you called a taxi. And then you took two more shots before leaving your apartment. 

You were a lightweight. This is important to note because you were already tipsy. 

You arrived at the venue about five minutes before the concert started, meaning it was relatively quiet outside, everyone else was already inside, excitedly waiting for it to start. You remembered what Eddie had said about speaking to security and asking for John. It was cool outside, but not cold. The soft air hits your face and sobers you up slightly, you rested against a wall for a minute, asking yourself what the fuck you were doing. 

Eddie had said sorry only after he had shouted at you. Accused you of telling anyone who would listen that you had fucked him. And maybe you were crazy, maybe you were being stupid. But… you looked at him and you felt like you were wrapped in a warm hug, his eyes were deafening. One look into them and time slowed down, any music stopped playing, and everyone stopped talking, all because you were looking at him. 

You couldn’t ignore that feeling. It was the feeling you read about in fairy tales as a child. So here you were, wearing your heart on your sleeve. Trusting Eddie not to break it. 

You made your way over to one of the entrances and spoke to the man standing there. You asked him to get John. He asked your name, and when you told him a knowing look crossed his face. He smiled and told you to wait there. 

Has Eddie told everyone about you? No, no he wouldn’t do that. He probably told John to let security know you were coming, so they wouldn't turn you away. 

Whilst you waited for John you felt the alcohol really take an effect. Oh no. 

Before you had time to curse yourself for your decisions John rounded the corner, he smiled at you and waved you forward. 

“I really hoped you would turn up. I don’t know why, but I did.” John told you, there was something in his voice you couldn’t place. He sounded happy, amused almost. A complete turnaround from his demeanour when you first met him. 

“Eddie could convince anyone to do anything.” your voice was slightly shaky, trying to act sober will do that to a person. John looked at you as he led you to the balcony you would watch the show from, a knowing look crossing his face. 

If he knew you were drunk, he spared you the embarrassment of pointing it out “He really could.” John pushed back a curtain and signalled for you to walk through. The balcony was big, and there were plenty of people up there. Some were sitting on the sofas that were dotted along the back wall, others were leaning over the railing watching the concert. It had just started, and the noise was deafening as you walked in, the music was almost drowned out by the screams throughout the arena. 

“I’ll come back to get you at the end” you nodded your appreciation and walked over to the railing, a couple of people smiled at you. You assumed they were all family and friends, and suddenly you felt incredibly out of your comfort zone. You focused on the show instead, ignoring the eyes that you could feel staring at the back of your head. You didn’t blame them for being curious as to who you were, you just wished they would stop staring at you. 

Twenty or so minutes later someone who obviously worked the bar brought over a tray of cocktails for everyone. Given your already tipsy state, you were inclined to pass on them, but then a sweet woman brought you one over. She was all wide smiles, sparkly eyes and gentle conversation. And soon enough you were downing another cocktail whilst she told you all about herself. 

She was the wife of the drummer. They were high-school sweethearts and had a kid together. It was nice, she didn’t pressure you to tell her exactly why you were there which you were grateful for. You weren’t sure how to explain you were a one-time hook-up who was now here for… you still didn’t know what you were here for. But you felt yourself relax as you finished the cocktail and you ended up enjoying yourself far more than you had anticipated, a smile was plastered across your face when the concert ended and John came up behind you, a gentle tap on the shoulder to get your attention. 

“Eddie asked me to take you straight out to the car, he’s already there,” John said as he held an arm out around you. You were drunker than you thought. 

“Why are we going to a car? Wait–” You turned around comically fast, John held back a laugh when you held your arm out to steady yourself “did you tell Eddie I was… drunk?” you whispered the last word, for some reason. 

You were so far gone it would have been funny any other time. Right now you wanted the floor to swallow you whole. 

“I popped my head in halfway through and saw you down a cocktail. Considering I could smell vodka on you when you got here I made the safe assumption you wouldn’t be sober.” your face dropped at his words and he noticed, “hey don’t worry about it. Eddie is in no position to judge anyone for this, trust me, sweetheart.” 

You nodded and let him lead you to the car, the cold night air a welcome feeling on your warm skin. John opened the door for you and you looked in to see Eddie with a shit-eating grin on his face. 

“Oh no he’s gonna laugh at me John” you sounded like a child who had been caught eating chocolate when they weren’t supposed to. John couldn’t help but find it endearing. 

“Yeah he might, but it will be out of love” you tilted your head at his words. ‘Out of love’ was a saying, but the idea of Eddie loving you made your heart jump and your brain shut off.

John asked for your address, and when you questioned why exactly he needed to know that, he said Eddie was taking you home. 

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“Okay you’re like Bambi on ice here sweetheart, give me your hand” 

You had arrived at your apartment soon enough, the flickering city lights and the motion of the car enough to make your head spin. Eddie noticed and told you to rest your head on his shoulder. You did what he said, practically burying your face in his jacket to stop the dizziness from getting worse. Now you were attempting to make it up to your apartment, which was proving to be a much more difficult task than it should be. You had sobered up compared to earlier, but you were still tipsy and your balance was questionable at the best of times. You were still tipsy enough to be far more relaxed than you were expecting to be around Eddie. 

Eddie held a hand out for you and you wrapped your fingers around his wrist, balancing yourself as you walked down the corridor.  

“I am much more graceful than Bambi ever was,” you told Eddie, trying to search for your keys in your pockets as you stood outside your door. 

“If you say so” Eddie laughed, it was a sweet laugh, one that filled your whole body with warmth and made you feel all gooey inside. Gooey was not a word that existed in your daily vocabulary, but apparently, it was when you were drunk. 

“Please tell me you have your keys–” 

“I have them! These pockets are just– oh! See, I’ve got them!” 

“You sure do” Eddie watched you as he kept a gentle arm around you, he wasn’t touching you, he was just ready for you to go down at any minute. 

You not-so-gracefully managed to get your keys in the door and swing it open, Eddie was hesitant, waiting outside your door as you swept your apartment, turning on the lamps and closing your curtains. “You can come in, you know” 

“I just wanted to make sure you got home safe, that’s all.” 

“I thought you wanted to talk to me?” you asked him, had he changed his mind? You felt tears well at the back of your eyes and you silently cursed yourself. 

“Tomorrow. If you want to. I’ll give you my number, and you can call me when you’re not drunk, okay sweet?” 

“O-okay. '' he watched you search for something for a minute, and then you were signalling for him to come in. He did, shutting the door behind him and leaning against it, not wanting to overstep any boundaries. 

“Here. Write your number down for me,” you told him as you held out the pad and paper. A smile spread across his face and you furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. 

“I could just put my number into your phone, sweetheart. I thought I was meant to be the old one here.” 

“Shut up, it’s cute this way,” you whispered under your breath, but he clung to every word. You were different in your own home, Eddie thought. More relaxed, although that could be the alcohol. But no, the way that you walked around, comfort seeping into you as you relaxed back into your own space. The way you had slipped your shoes off instantly, your socks padding across the floor as you turned on the lights. It suited you, he thought. 

Eddie nodded his head to the table in the corner, asking if he could lean against that to write his number for you, as you had insisted. You mouthed a ‘yeah’ at his request. He seemed to take in everything around him as he walked over to the table, looking at the decor you had lying around. You suddenly felt incredibly vulnerable. 

He was in your home. This man was still arguably a stranger. But that pang of vulnerability was soon replaced with a feeling of contentness. Eddie suited domesticity. He fit right into your space, his style a contrast to your apartment, but it wasn’t unwelcome. 

You pulled your eyes away from Eddie long enough to try and grab yourself a drink of water. But as you leant your hands on the kitchen counter you placed your hand right on a knife you had left out earlier. In your drunken state, you attempted to pick it up and put it away, but you managed to grab the sharp edge. You pulled your hand back quickly, but there was still a cut on your palm, blood pooling around the injury. 

“Oh shit,” you hissed, pain evident in your voice. 

“What’s wrong?” Eddie practically jumped out of the chair he had sat in, dropping the pen he was holding and making his way over to you. 

“I picked up that knife,” you told him. 

“What– why– why did you do that?” Eddie asked you, with genuine confusion in his voice as he gently took your hand into his, looking at the damage you had done. 

“Well I thought it would be fun to– I obviously didn’t do it on purpose!” you said defensively, but you were smiling at him despite the pain. 

“Yeah, okay.” Eddie hadn’t heard any of what you had just said, you could tell by the flatness of his voice, “come on, let’s get you sorted out.” 

You suddenly felt nervous, his hand on your sending heat rising throughout you. “No, it’s okay. You go, I can just stick a bandaid on it. It’s all good.” 

“I won’t be able to sleep tonight knowing I left a lady in distress.” Eddie joked, you couldn’t help the blush that flooded your cheeks at his words, “besides your hand could still fall off.” Eddie said in a dead-serious tone. One that made you burst out laughing. 

“I think it’ll be okay,” you said through breathy laughter. 

“Let me take care of you and we’ll know for certain,” Eddie said. You nodded and he asked you where your bathroom was. You stared at him for a second and then pointed to the only door in the apartment, besides the front one. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t the smartest cookie in the jar. But that was okay. 

Eddie led you to the bathroom and you sat down on the counter next to the sink, holding your hand out in front of you. 

“Do you have a first-aid kit?” Eddie asked you gently. 

“In the cupboard below the sink,” you told him, moving your legs to the side so he could get to it. 

Eddie bent down and grabbed it off the shelf. He stood back up and placed it next to you, opening it and grabbing out what he needed. You moved your legs so Eddie could stand between them. He picked up your hand and looked at it once more before he gently cleaned it. You watched his hands the whole time, the way he was so soft with you, whispering out little apologies when you whispered out a complaint once that it hurt. 

Eddie wrapped a dressing around your hand, you asked if it was too much but he said the cut was deeper than you realised. So you simply nodded and watched his hands wrap around yours. Once he had secured the dressing he looked up at you, breathing a “done” and holding your hand in his.

You meant to say thank you, but that wasn’t what came out “You’re really pretty.” 

Eddie smirked and dropped his head, you could tell he was trying not to laugh at your brutal honesty. “So are you angel.” 

A sickly-sweet smile crossed both of your faces. You wanted to kiss him. 

You should kiss him. 

You moved your head ever so slightly, but Eddie caught on to what you were doing and brought his spare hand up to rest on your cheek, a sweet movement but one that was intended to stop you from doing what you were about to. 

“You’re drunk.” 

“I’m tipsy,” you insisted. 

“I’m not gonna kiss you. Not tonight, sweetheart.” You pouted at his words. A childish move and quite frankly it confirmed to him that you were far from sober. 

“When I kiss you again, I want you to remember it.” you couldn’t pull your eyes away from his. His hand on your face, and his voice and his eyes and it was all-consuming. 

“Come on, get into bed,” you smirked and he swore every time you smiled at him you took a little piece of his heart with you. “By yourself, smartass. Get into bed by yourself.” 

“My makeup,” you told him. It was barely a full sentence but it was the best you could do when he was standing so close to you. 

“Yeah, I like it.” He said. He rubbed his thumb under your eye and you held back a laugh. 

“No– I can’t go to sleep in my makeup.” you clarified. He sighed out an ‘oh’ and then dipped back down to open the cupboard below the sink. You weren’t sure what he was doing, but then he came back up with makeup remover and a washcloth. A smile that tugged on his star-filled eyes flooded his face. 

Your heart broke for him all over again but for a different reason this time.  

“Close your eyes, angel. Don’t wanna blind you.” 

You did as he said, slowly closing your eyes after you saw him tip some of the water onto the cloth. He was incredibly gentle with you, barely applying enough pressure to remove the makeup, but you didn’t tell him that. 

After a minute or so you felt his hand leave your face and you hesitantly opened your eyes. He smiled at you and tilted his head, taking you in. 

“You’re beautiful.” 

“Shut up old man.” you let out an obnoxiously loud laugh. In your defence, in your current state, that was the height of comedy. 

“Oh wow. You have a talent for running perfect moments don’t you doll.” 

“I’m sorry. You’re not old” You told him, moving to get down off the counter and make your way into bed, “You’re middle-aged” 

Eddie huffed out a laugh as he followed you, “I’ll take it.” He sighed, you couldn’t see but his eyes were full of love as he watched you get into bed. You hadn’t bothered to change into pyjamas. That felt… too much. You were drunk enough that you could easily fall asleep in your clothes. 

“Do you need to lock the door after me,” Eddie asked quietly. 

“The door locks automatically, as soon as you shut it. I’ve been locked out too many times to count,” you told him, your voice muffled by the pillow your head was smushed against. 

“Okay.” Eddie ran a hand through your hair that fell around your face. “I’m gonna go, angel.” 

You were too tired to verbally respond anymore, sleep had quickly taken over when your body hit the mattress. You heard Eddie move around, but didn’t lift your head to see what he was doing. And then you heard the door open and shut. 

Your eyes shut to the sound of his walking down the corridor. 

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When you woke up the next morning your first thought was of Eddie. 

And that was how you knew you were officially fucked. 

You sat up and a glass of water on your bedside table caught your eye. You didn’t remember putting it there but you gratefully leaned over and picked it up, taking small sips as you assessed how bad your hangover was. 

It wasn’t. That was your saving grace. You were still young enough to avoid bad hangovers; you had a slight headache and the sunlight seemed slightly too bright. But it was nothing a couple of painkillers wouldn’t sort out. Sitting up fully you swung your legs out of the bed, feet hitting the floor with a dull thud. 

You put the now-empty glass back down and a piece of paper grabbed your attention. Picking it up you saw a number written down. And an ‘-E’ next to it. 

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Eddie got back to the hotel to find John waiting outside his room. 

“It’s creepy to stalk people, you know?” Eddie announced as he pulled out the card to open the door. 

John ignored him, “How was the girl?” heasked, tiredness seeping from him. 

“You know her name, what’s with calling her ‘the girl’ all the time?” Eddie asked as he stepped inside. 

“I like it. Makes it sound more mysterious.” John said as he leaned in the doorway, watching Eddie make his way down the hallway and into the bedroom. 

“She’s passed out in bed,” Eddie shouted loud enough for John to hear him. 

“Good. The poor girl’s gonna have a hell of a morning.” 

“She’s young, she’ll be fine,” Eddie said, coming back out from the bedroom and leaning against the wall. 

“Right. And you? You’ll be fine too?” John asked sincerely. 

“If you let me get some damn sleep I’ll be great.” John nodded and pushed himself off the door frame, pulling the door shut behind him. 

Eddie didn’t sleep much that night. He tossed and turned until the early hours of the morning, finally falling asleep when his body physically couldn’t stay awake any longer. 

He was thinking about you. He couldn't stop thinking about you. 

Which is why when his phone rang halfway through the morning, he jumped off the couch and practically lunged for his phone that was sitting on the coffee table in front of him. 

“Hello?” Eddie’s voice was loud against the quietness on the other end of the phone, for a minute he worried it wasn’t you calling. His chest suddenly felt heavy, but then– 

“Hi. It’s me.” You. 

Your voice rang through his head and he would never admit to anyone that a smile graced his face at the sound. 

“How are you?” Eddie asked, he swore you could hear his smile in his voice. 

“I’m alive.” you said, laughter bubbling up, “No, I’m okay actually.” 

“Enjoy it, you won’t be young forever, doll,” Eddie told you as he fidgeted in his seat. 

“Yeah– yeah I know.” something deeper seeped into your voice, a seriousness coming through your words. “Can we talk? I know you wanted to last night, and I’m so so sorry, I’m so embarrassed that I–” 

“You’re all good, sweetheart,” Eddie responded and he heard you breathe a sigh of relief. 

“Do you want to come over? I can send a car for you, come and pick you up?” Eddie asked, holding his breath as he waited for an answer. 

“No I can just get a taxi, it’s okay.” Eddie already knew better than to argue with you, so he didn’t. “Where are you? Some fancy hotel for rich people I’m guessing?” 

Eddie chuckled, he liked it when you made fun of him, because he could always hear the adoration in your voice as you did, “yeah I’m at uh– the same hotel I was last time.” 

“Ah, yeah okay. So it’s okay for me to come over, you’re not busy?” You asked sweetly, nerves peeking their head. 

“No. Never.” Eddie told you. 

Eddie told you the floor and room number before you hung up. 

Shit. Okay. 

He made a promise to himself that he wouldn’t fuck this up again. 

.

.

.

The drive to the hotel was the longest you had ever experienced. Every emotion was running through your body as you rode the elevator to Eddie’s floor. Your leg bounced underneath you repeatedly as you fiddled with the ring on your middle finger. Eventually, the doors opened and you stepped out, smiling at a couple as they walked past you. 

You checked the number on each door until you reached the one Eddie had told you was his. 

You could still turn around. 

No. 

You were already knocking on the door. And you heard someone move around through the door. You realised you were scratching your hands and quickly dropped them to your sides before the door opened, and you saw Eddie standing there. 

He looked like he always did. Messy hair framed his face. Freckles dotted his nose and under his eyes. 

“Hey, sweetheart.” Eddie’s voice alone could convince you to do anything he asked of you, it was one of those voices that managed to seep into your veins and completely engulf you. 

“Hey,” you responded, feeling that calm overtake you. The same calm and safety you felt whenever he looked at you, “Can I come in?” you asked when he didn’t say anything. 

He was taking you in. He was also going over everything he wanted to say to you. He was terrified. Truly. 

“Yeah– shit, yeah of course,” Eddie uttered, moving to the side to allow you to walk in. 

It wasn’t the same suite as last time. This floor was higher up, but it was almost identical. The same layout, the same rooms, the same corridor he had left you standing in. 

You walked in and made your way to where you knew the living room was, the same decadence overwhelmed you, and you had to take a minute to get used to it again. Eddie followed a couple of steps behind you - the air was thick with tension, neither of you entirely sure of what the other was about to say or do. 

You turned to look at Eddie and  inclined your head towards the couch, asking if it was okay for you to sit down. He nodded and you both sat yourselves down on either ends of the couch, enough space between the two of you for another person to fit there. 

The TV played silently, a movie playing that you didn’t recognise. The floor-to-ceieling windows that covered the wall to the side of you let sunlight drown the room in a warm golden glow. 

“I–”

“Do you-” 

You both cut yourselves off as you spoke over one another. It could have been an awkward moment, but the feeling faded into something sweeter. A tender moment that showed each other just how nervous you both were. For some reason, knowing Eddie was just as nervous as you were made you feel better. 

“Sorry, I just– I had some… stuff I wanted to to tell you, say to you.” Eddie told you, watching your face ccarefully. “If that’s okay.” 

“Yeah, yeah that’s fine. I’m sorry, go ahead.” You settled back into the couch, lifting your legs and crossing them as you turned to face Eddie. 

“Okay I’m not promising I’m very good at articulating myself, or fuckin’ whatever, so you’re gonna have to give me a minute.” Eddie said, his voice shaky. 

“That’s okay.” you told him, your voice soft and bareilly above a whisper. His eyes had glazed over with something like fear, you wanted to lean across and rest a comforting hand on his, but you didn’t. Not yet. 

“That morning, when I left you–” you tensed up as the memory flooded back, Eddie noticed it too but carried on, “I have regretted that every day since then. I’ve done some really fucking stupid things, maybe one day I can tell you all of them, but that? Leaving you? That is the worst thing I have ever done.” 

Eddie’s breath caught in his throat and he coughed before carrying on talking, giving himself a minute to gather himself. 

“I thought I would move on. Forget about you– and I know, that makes me sound like a complete asshole, but I’m tryna be honest here. I wanted to forget about you. I needed to. Because the way I felt when I looked at you, scared me so much I didn’t know what to do.” 

The emotions you were both feeling were palpable in the comforting silence of the room. You didn’t try and interject, letting Eddie talk. You had never heard his voice sound so genuine. Almost like every other time he had spoken he had been putting on a mask, pretending to be someone else- pretending to be the rockstar everyone so desperately wanted him to be. You liked this version of him a lot more. 

“When I was a kid my–” he paused for a minute, unintentional, as if he wanted to speak but he couldn’t form the words for a second, “my mom used to tell me that when you meet someone who makes you feel so happy it terrifies you, you should hold onto them.” 

“Because that’s when you know its real. She told me you couldn’t love someone without being scared to death at the same time. Because loving somsone? Fuck, it’s a big feeling, you know?” You laughed gently at that, for someone who famously wrote his own music he really did have an interesting choice of words, but you found it endearing. 

“It takes over every part of you and when she would tell me that, I thought she was lying, or something. Because if falling in love was so terrifying I didn’t understand why people would do it.” Eddie was moving his hands as he spoke, punctuating every word with a gentle movement. “And then I never felt that way, towards anyone. In forty years I never looked at someone and felt the world fall out from beneath my feet. And I was glad I didn’t, because I didn’t want to hurt that person.” 

Your eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, your moth dropping open slightly to ask him what he meant. But then he was talking again, and you settled back into listening. 

“Sweetheart I am not here to try and emotionally blackmail you into staying, or being with me, or anything, okay?” Eddie’s voice went more serious, his eyes staring into yours in a way that made you think he could see right through you and read every thought that was running through your mind. 

“And I’m not going to sit here and tell you some cliche sob story about how I had a shitty childhood and it fucked me up or anything.” You hadn’t realised it but you had moved closer to Eddie, your knees grazing each others as you listened to him talk. 

“I did have a crappy childhood- I mean it wasn’t the worst, by any means but it wasn’t an all-American family with a white picket fence, you know? My dad was- my dad was the worst man I’ve ever met in my life, he treated my mom like a fucking piece of shit and I hated him for it. I listened to them fight, argue, I would leave my bedroom door open so I could hear if I needed to go and help my mom.” 

You felt tears well in your eyes as he spoke. He was being completely honest with you. You could tell. This wasn’t easy for him to talk about. 

He had never spoken about this. 

“He’d hit her, do other things too but I remember when he would hit her. I remember the noise it would make. I would try and grab his arm but he would just swing back at me and throw me against the nearest wall– and I was a skinny kid you know? Fuck there was nothing of me, so I had no chance against him.” 

Eddie seemed to quickly realise how much he had just said, what he had admitted to you and his face dropped. “Fuck I– I only told you that because one day, after my mom had left, and we were fighting he told me that– he told me that I was just like him.” 

“He said when he looked at me, he saw himself. Which I didn’t understand at first, because I was the spitting image of my mom. Hair, the eyes, everything. But then he laughed and told me that one day I’d realise it too, that I was gonna be exactly like him, whether I wanted to or not.” Eddie shifted his body weight on the couch, moving his hand to rest over the back of it. 

“So that day I promised myself I would never fall in love with someone, because I would never put someone through what he put me and my mom through.” Eddie wiped his eyes with the back of his hand, he wasn’t crying but he obviously worried he was about to. 

When he didn’t carry on talking you said, “Eddie can I say something?” he nodded and you moved your hand to rest it on his knee that was next to yours, his eyes followed your hand movement and then flicked back up to yours when he realised what you were doing. 

“You just sat and told me that you’re biggest fear is turning into your dad, right?” Eddie nodded slowly, waiting to see what you were going to say. “But the fact that you just told me that? That means you are nothing like him.” 

Eddie swallowed a lum in his throat, “I don’t want to hurt you, in any way. But what if there’s something inside me that is just bad.” 

“What if there’s something inside of you that is just desperate to love and be loved?” 

Eddie moved his hand to rest over yours, and you interlaced your fingers together. 

“There’s more I want to tell you, but I can’t right now, I’m just not ready but I will, soon. And I will spend every minute of every day aplogizing for leaving you, for being an asshole to you at the diner, for everything. I promise you I–” 

‘Eddie, I know you will.” you truly did know that. 

“Okay.” his voice come out soft, gratefulness tinging his voice as he realised you genuinely meant it. And then an understanding flicked between the two of you. 

You two were far from perfect. This situation was far from a fairytale. And maybe to everyone else you would seem crazy for what you were about to do. But you didn’t care. Because when you looked at Eddie you felt the most terrified you have ever felt in your life, because you knew you wanted to see his face every day for the rest of your life.

Eddie knew that too. He knew there was no other option anymore. He had to wake up next to you every morning, he had to fall asleep next to you every night, and there was no other choice expect that. 

“Can you kiss me now?” you asked, a smile tugging on your lips and lighting your eyes up in a way that had Eddie falling head over heels all over again. 

“Yeah– yeah, sweetheart. Come here,” Eddie leaned forward at the same time you did  and cupped your face in both of his hands, you titled your head to the side and then all of the planets aligned and nothing else mattered except the press of his lips against yours. 

The kiss started off slow, sweet and deep like you were both trying to saviour this moment for as long as possible. Eddie’s lips moved gently against your own and you reached up to take one of his hands that was cupping your face, and interlace your fingers together. 

His lips were soft and you felt like you were floating on a sun-kissed cloud everytime he guided your head to the side, allowing him to kiss you harder, deeper. Soon enough that feeling built up inside you again and you took a leap of faith; opening your mouth and letting your tongue run softly over Eddie’s bottom lip, a desperate plead for more. 

Eddie pulled back, you leaned forward trying to chase his lips, and he couldn’t help the love that consumed him at the look of serenity that painted your face. You didn’t want to be away from him for even a second. And neither did he, but he didn’t want to ruin this, or seem like he only wanted one thing.

“Sweetheart– we don’t have to.” Eddie told you gently, his hand caressing your face and his thumb rubbing small circles into your skin.  

“You don’t want to?” You asked, if he didn’t want to you would stop, of course you would. 

“No! I mean no, yes– I do want to, fuck of course I do. I just don’t want you to think-” 

“I don’t think that Eddie, I promise.” you cut him off before he could finish speaking, already knowing what he was about to say, the worry that flashed across his face told you everything you needed to know. A sickly-sweet smile spread across his face before he leaned back in to kiss you. Your lips moving against each others in perfect harmony, like this was what you were meant to do all your life. 

Eddie let his tongue run over your bottom lip, you let him deepen the kiss and your tongues met in a cataclysmic way, both of you desperate to taste each other. The kiss was fast and slow, deep and soft, it was everything you had been craving for the past seven months- even when you hated him, you couldn’t forget the way his lips had felt on yours. 

You could have been making out for five minutes or five hours, time had no meaning when you were with Eddie, it was all him and nothing else. But then you felt him push you back slightly, he relucatlanly pulled away from you, his lips still grazing yours as he told you to lie down. 

You did as he asked you to, clumsily manouvering your body until you were lay flat against the soft couch cushions, Eddie moving to lie on top of you. One of his hands rested on your waist, his fingers grazing the tiny slip of skin that was showing where your jumper had raised up. He rested his weight on his forearm next to your head, carefully moving your hair out of the way before he did so. 

You breathed him in as he lowered his mouth to your jaw, planting gentle kisses over your face. His hair fell around both of you, and if kissing Eddie felt like heaven then you didn’t have the vocolabury to describe what it felt like to be underneath him, completely consumed by everything that was so undeniably Eddie. 

His curly hair, his soft lips, the little sighs he let out when he kissed a new spot on your body, the way his ring-clad fingers graze your skin. It was as close to a religious experience that you would ever get. 

Eddie trailed kisses down your across your jaw and down your neck, you lent your head back further, giving him more room and you felt his lips turn up into a smile against your skin. 

Your hand raised to rest in Eddie’s hair as he kissed your neck, instantly finding your sweet spot again, as if no time had passed and every sound you had made and reacted to his every touch came flooding back to him as he tasted your skin. 

He was determined be soft with you. Take things slow and savour every moment. You were too, but then Eddie gently grazed your sweet spot with his teeth and you found yourself pushing his head further into his neck, desperate for his touch. 

Eddie listened to you, the hand on the back of his head told him everything he needed to know. He gently sucked a lovebite over your pulse point; the breathy moans that fell from your mouth were music to him, he would do whatever it took to hear those noises for the rest of his life. 

Eddie continued to mouth at your neck until he needed to kiss you again. He lifted his head from your neck only to be met your heavy eyelids, mouth slightly parted and a look of complete comfort on your face. He held your chin between his thumb and forefinger, moving your head back up to him. Your noses touching before he connected your lips, and you kissed like the world was ending tomorrow. 

This was perfect, but you needed more. You felt that familiar aching start to grow within you and you languidly moved one of your legs to wrap around Eddie’s waist, pulling him flush against you. 

Your movement caused Eddie to falter in his kissing you, for just a second. And then he had his hand on your jean-clad thigh and he was carefully grinding his hips down into yours. Determined to keep the soft atmosphere you were both bathing in. You panted into each other’s mouths, neither of you kissing anymore, your lips only moving against each other because of the gentle movement of Eddie rocking against you. 

Neither of you said anything, you didn’t need to. Your soft pants and whimpers filling the soothing silence in the room. Both of you perfectly content to just take each other in, feel each other’s bodies move against each other, without any rush for more. 

You lasted like that for a while. Sweet kisses shared between the two of you. And then Eddie made one move with his hips that had you moaning louder than you had before, and suddenly it wasn’t enough. 

“Eddie,” you managed to breathe out. 

“Yeah, angel?” Eddie asked you, his own voice sounding fucked out already. 

“Need more,” Eddie pressed a kiss to your lips in response, he would give you whatever you needed. 

“Yeah? tell me sweetheart, I’ll give you whatever you need, you just need to tell me.” Eddie’s soft voice settled over you and tightened your grip on him, grounding yourself. Trying to remind you that was real. This was really happening. Eddie made you feel so safe that you didn’t feel any embarrassment in telling him what you needed. 

“I need- fuck, need your fingers, please.” Eddie whispered an okay and managed to slip his hands between your bodies, sitting up to undo the buttons on your jeans, his hands were shaking slightly. Yours were too. 

“Can you just lift your–” you did what he asked before he got the question out. Somehow, despite him lying over you, he managed to take your jeans and underwear off. You both laughed quietly when it became slightly awkward, both of you moving around as you needed to. Soon enough he had your jeans placed on the floor next to you. 

Eddie placed kisses along the top of your thigh, moving up to kiss over your waist and stomach, gently pushing up your jumper once you signalled it was okay for him to do that. He already had your pants off, and yet he wouldn’t even lift your top up without getting your permission again. 

Eddie was kissing every square inch of your body, his plump lips leaving sparks everywhere he touched you. As content as you were to bask in the affection, you really needed him to touch you. 

You tapped his shoulder and pulled him up to you, moving him where you wanted him, exposing his neck so you could kiss it. He let you, tilting his head to side and letting small breathless whines fall from his lips as yours caressed his neck. 

You felt his hand slip between your bodies again and then his fingers fell to between your legs and he ran them through your slit, gathering the wetness he found there and moving them up to your clit. 

“Fuck doll, you’re so wet, so fuckin’ perfect for me.” Eddie was breathless just from feeling how needy you were for him. He already knew he would never get over the affect he had on you. 

You moaned out in response and Eddie circled your clit. His fingers sedning sparks through your body, “Oh god– Eddie”.

“I know, I know. It’s okay, let it out. Let me hear you.” Eddie cooed at you, applying slightly more pressure and just barely speeding up, and  when your back arched off the sofa he smiled, knowing he’d found the perfect way to touch you. 

Eddie dipped down to kiss you, and you pulled him closer to you. You werne’t sure you would ever be close enough to him. He kissed you as his hand worked you to your breaking point, he swallowed your soft whimpers and moans, letting out little shh shh shh’s and comforting praise when you got too worked up. 

“Fuck oh my god– inside me, please Eds,” The nickname broke his heart and he kissed your forehead before dipping his two fingers down to press them gently inside you. 

The stretch of his two fingers was definitely there, but it was clouded by the pleasure that spread through your body, and the relief of him touching you the way you needed. 

“You’re okay, sweets?”  Eddie asked when he saw your eyebrows scrunched together, eyes closed. But then you moaned and nodded your head with such certainty it would have been comedic if he wasn’t so completely enamoured by the way you were falling apart underneath him. 

He slowly started moving his fingers in you, your wetness making it feel even better. Eddie was barely even pulling them out of you, instead he rocked them gently inside you, and when he curled his fingers upwards you swear you died for a second. Your eyes screwed shut and your mouth dropping open in a soundless moan. 

You were so despeate you knew from the start you wouldn’t last long, but he had barely been going for two minutes and you felt that knot get tighter in your stomach and you knew you were so close to being thrown over the edge. 

Eddie felt you get tighter around his fingers and he was grinding his hips down into your thigh without even realising he was doing it. Feeling his hips move against you was all you needed to send you to your breaking point, Eddie noticed instantly in the way your breath hitched. 

“Are you gonna come for me, sweetheart?” you nodded as he kissed your cheek, your nose, the side of your mouth; anywhere he could reach. “You can come angel, come on. Just let go for me, I’ve got you. Need to feel you come all over my fingers for me” 

His words sent you over the edge and you barely even recognised the sounds you let out, your ears were ringing and you were sure your vision blacked out for a second. Eddie never let up, working you through your orgasm, drawing it out for as long as possible, letting you ride it until it got to be too much. 

When it did, your hand flew down to his hand, grabbing his wrist to stop his movements. Eddie carefully pulled his fingers out of you and your eyes went wide with need when he raised them to his mouth, cleaning your arousal off of them and dipping down to kiss you. 

The taste of yourself on his tongue was all-consuming. Eddie moaned against you and you pushed your hand between you to feel his cock through his pants. His hips stuttered and he swore under his breath.

“Fuck sweetheart, keep doing that.” Eddie practically begged you, and who were you to say no to such a pretty man begging you to touch him? 

You kept plaming him over his pants, he was moaning into his neck and when you undid his zipper to slip your hand underneath he almost bit down on the skin he was sucking on to stop himself from distrubing the rest of the hotel with the sounds that were falling from his mouth. 

“Shit, okay– I need to be inside you, angel. Is that okay?” Eddie asked, his eyes clouded with arousal and his skin flushed. 

You nodded and shorty after Eddie was pulling you up from your position on the couch. Eddie stood up and held his hand out for you. You took it and he led you to the bedroom across the hallway. Time slowed down as he delicately placed his hands on you hips and pulled you against him, kissing you as he placed his hand behind your head and lay you down onto the bed, climbing to rest on top of you. 

You kissed him until you felt him tense against you. You bit back a laugh at how desperate he was, he didn’t want to rush you, of course. But he was certain if he didn’t get inside you in the next two minutes he was going to go insane. He needed to feel you around him. 

You pushed Eddie’s shoulder and he pulled away from you to see what you were doing. 

“Fuck me, Eddie.” you said breathlessly. 

Eddie didn’t need to be asked twice. 

He backed off you to throw off his trousers and top and grab a condom. You watched him intensely and felt the wetness cover your thighs at the sight of him. 

You had almost forgotten how perfect he was. Almost. 

He moved back over you, kissing you as he wrapped your legs around his waist loosely. He guided himself into you, rubbing himself over your clit a couple of times until you were whimpering for him to please fuck you. 

He remembered the last time. How it took you a second to adjust to him. He was gentle as he pushed unto you a few inches. He stold your breath from you for a second, the stretch not feeling as painful as last time, instead you were already begging for more. Moving your hips to get him deeper. 

Eddie smiled and carried on pushing into you. Watching your face for any sign that you were uncomfortable, but it never came. Soft whimpers and moans fell from your lips and your legs tightened around him as he bottomed out inside you. 

It felt so right. Nothing felt as right as Eddie being inside you. 

“Fuck, good girl– taking me so fucking well.” Eddie praised you as he began to move inside you, pulling out almost all the way and then back into you. 

He found the perfect rhythm. One that had you both whispering soft praises into each others mouths and had your nails digging into his back. His forearms were back on either side of his head as held his body weigh off of you. 

But when you whimpered out in protest at the small piece of space left between you he lowered himself, his chest flush against yours and his head buried in your neck. 

His ring-clad fingers held onto your thigh around his waist- despite the gentleness, you were sure you would have marks there afterwards. 

Eddie normally lasted a while, but being inside of you sent him flying towards his release ridiculously fast. He mouthed at your neck and when he hit that sweet-spot inside you, you let out a moan that could have made Eddie come there and then. 

“Fuck baby, you feel so good– oh god,” his voice was muffled against your neck, never stopping pressing kisses into your skin. 

“You feel so good too, fuck Eddie.” 

Eddie wanted you to come again before him, he pushed one of your legs up, holding it against you and the change in position had you clawing at his back and pulling his head up so you could kiss him. 

You could tell Eddie was close by the whimpers he was letting out, his head dropping to rest against yours and you could hear him right in your ear, sending your eyes rolling back into your head. 

“Fuck I want you to come for me, Eddie,” you whispered against his hair. 

He pulled up to look at you, he looked completely fucked out and you wondered how he hadn’t come already. 

“Want you to come first, angel, okay?” Eddie asked you, desperation seeping through his words. 

“No, no it’s okay. Please I want you to come. I need you to come for me, please baby–” 

Eddie mewled and you pulled him down into a fiery kiss, the gentleness that had permeated everything you had done before suddenly disappearing. 

“Jesus sweethear, you;re gonna kill me, oh fuck–” 

Eddie groaned and you felt his hips stutter against yours as he came. You ran your fingers through his hair as he came. His grip on your thigh loosening and your leg dropping back against the mattress when his whole body went limp. 

If he wasn’t already flush against you he would have collapsed. 

You both breathed heavily as he came down from his high. You don’t know how long you lay there for, but Eddie slid his arm underneath your back and pulled you impossibly tighter against you as his head found its place back in your neck. 

You were glad he was so fucked out, because you didn’t want him to pull out yet. You loved the feeling of him inside you. 

“Sweetheart?” Eddie said into your neck. 

You ran your nails along his scalp, humming in answer to his question, telling him you were listening. 

“Thank you, fuck you’re. I–” Eddie stopped himself when he looked at you. 

But you knew what he wanted to say. He just couldn’t yet. You understood. 

“I know. I know, Eddie.” You comforted him and he kissed you, his tongue running over your lips and you stayed like that for a while. Soft, deep kisses shared as you both came to terms with what had just happened. What it meant. 

Soon Eddie moved off of you, pulling out gently and tidying himself up. You expected him to come back with a warm washcloth to clean you up to. But when he walked back into the room he pulled you to the end of the bed and knelt down in front of you, pulling your legs over his shoulders. 

“Eddie, what–” 

“You didn’t come, sweetheart. That just won’t work.” Eddie said before he ran his tongue over your sensitive cunt and your hands dived into his hair and your back arched off the bed and the whole world seemed to go quiet again. 

His tongue ran through your slit, alternating between sucking on your clit and dipping his tonuge inside you. You mewled and whimpered and he held his arm over your waist to keep your body pressed to the mattress. But leaving you enough space to grind your hips into his face, he mewled and pulled back to tell you how good you were being for him, that he wanted you to use him until you were seeing stars. 

You didn’t last long after that. Your hand covered his that held your waist down and you threw your hea back, letting your hips mvoe against him and not hiding the moans that fell from your half-open mouth. 

“Oh fuck me, Eddie– I’m gonna–” 

“I know, come on angel, come for me.” 

That was all it took for you to go over the edge for the second time. Eddie worked you through your orgasm again, only moving his mouth away from you when you were physically pulling back from the overstimualtion. 

When you opened your eyes, as you felt the mattress dip around you, you saw Eddie. His star-flecked eyes looking at yours and you held him against you. 

No one else could ever make you feel the way he could. 

And no one else could make him feel the way you did. 

.

.

.

You and Eddie spent the rest of the day in bed together. Limbs tangled and your head resting on his chest. His arms wrapped around you as he softly scratched your back whilst you talked about anything and everything. 

It didn’t matter what you were talking about, it just mattered that you two were together. 

You had sex a few more times that day, each time taking your breath away just like the first time. It was all slow and intended to show the other just how much you meaned to each other. 

You fell asleep that night completely exhausted. You wrapped yourself around Eddie and he felt sure this was how he would fall asleep for the rest of his life. 

You weren’t perfect. Neither of you were. But you didn’t want each other to be perfect- you just wanted you to be yourselves. And you were. 

There was a lot to figure out, Too many things you had to discuss and learn about each other. But for now, this was enough. 

And when you woke up the next morning, the sunlight hitting your faces from forgetting to shut the curtains, you only pulled the comforter over both do your heads. 

Eddie stirred awake and pulled you tighter against him, his arms wrapped around you and you settled back against him, your face in his neck as he rubbed his hands up and down your back, lulling you back to sleep.

.

.

.

thank you so much for reading! <3

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[sidekick-hero]

(steddie | teen | 2.3k | tags: rockstar!eddie, addiction, rehab, journaling, only Eddie's entries turn into letters to Steve | Part 2 to Carry You | @steddielovemonth prompt Love is about a hand reaching out to you so you don't get lost by @yournowheregirl | AO3)

Edited for a big shout out to @steves-strapcollection whose lovely OC has a little cameo here. If you want to know who Tig is, you can find out here. Spoiler: he's amazing and we love him.

Day 0

Dear Steve,

Hi Stevie,

Apparently, it's not good to "bottle up" your feelings. They say it makes drinking or drugs or any other addiction so tempting. It makes it easier to keep all that stuff inside you and let it fester until you need more and more of whatever it is that helps you cope. So the first rule of rehab: Talk, don't take.

That's a long way of saying I need to keep a journal like a 13-year-old girl with her first crush. It's either that or a daily crying session with the other "inmates" here, and I'd rather not have to tell Terry the old gossip my own tragic sob story. She already told me the life stories of two other patients here at dinner.

Instead, I decided to write to you. You're the one person I regret the most pushing away, and even though you'll probably never see this, it feels good to tell you these things now. Like a dry run. Because, baby, when I get out of here, I swear I will let you in. I won't make the same mistakes.

You will never go another day without knowing how much you mean to me.

How much I love you.

You only left an hour ago and I already miss you. I can't believe I've survived six months without you. Well, I barely did. I wish I could call you, but phone privileges are only for those who make it through their first week here.

I know we chose this center together knowing that they don't allow visitors for at least three weeks. Maybe longer if my therapist says I'm not ready. Fuck, three weeks didn't sound so bad when we talked about it, but now? In this ugly, impersonal room that smells clean but is totally clinical. You know, that mix of disinfectant and sterile air with a hint of medication lingering in the background. It sounds like an eternity and then some.

Nothing here feels comfortable or warm, and I miss your face so much it physically hurts.

But I promised myself I'd do whatever it took. For you and Wayne, for the boys and the kids.

So, day 0, the journey begins.

Fuck, I almost forgot: I'm supposed to answer three questions every day.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

See above. I miss you, that's how I am. I want this to be over. I hate that I'm here and even more that I'm the one who got me here. I feel like a fuckup. It's hard not to when I see how I've ruined everything good in my life. But then I remember the way you kissed me goodbye. The smile on your face when you told me how proud you were of me. The way you kissed my hand because you couldn't let go and whispered, "I'll see you soon," and I want to have hope.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Get through the day without doing anything I'll regret.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

You. That you didn't give up on me. (And the Gummi Bears you hid at the bottom of the bag, you minx. Thank you.)

Day 4

Sweetheart,

I'm not doing so well. It's hard. Who am I kidding? It sucks. My body hurts from how much I want to use. My brain is so very loud, Stevie. So, so loud. I try to remember how you managed to calm me down when my brain got like this. What helped the most was to wear me out by fucking me senseless, but that's not an option. But maybe I will try to go for a walk or even do some of those exercises you always tried to get me to do. The ones that usually led to fucking because I could never behave.

My therapist is nice. Her name is Laura, and so far she's taking everything I throw at her in stride. Talking to her feels like pulling my own teeth and I feel like shit afterwards, but I sleep better. Who would have thought, huh?

I miss you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Not good. I wonder if I can really do this. It doesn't feel like it right now. I'm afraid I won't make it. That I will screw up again. That if I do, it'll kill me and I'll be grateful because I couldn't live with myself if I did.

I don't want to die, Stevie.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Talk to the weird kid who always sits by himself during meals. He looks lost. Maybe he knows DnD.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Still you. Every day. Wayne, for taking me in when I felt like a failure too. Unlovable. Worthless. He never stopped believing in me. Even when I gave him every reason not to. I don't know how I deserve him or you, but I am so fucking grateful.

Day 7

Fuck, I missed your voice. God. I'm sorry I lost it like that. I didn't want the first thing you heard from me after a week apart to be me ugly sobbing into the phone.

I wanted to tell you so many things. I had a plan, you know? But hearing your voice when you said, "Hi, baby," it just broke me. You sounded like you missed me too, like you were relieved to hear my voice too, and you didn't even realize how scared I was that you wouldn't.

We just hung up, but I want to call you again. Just to hear you breathing on the other side so I know you're still there. Waiting for me. Your hand still gripping mine so I wouldn't get lost.

You said, "I'll hear you tomorrow," like it was set in stone, no doubt about it. It made me feel, fuck, I don't even know. Like this is real. I didn't die on that bathroom floor, and you giving me another chance isn't some kind of hallucination or afterlife dream.

I'm rambling, sorry. Even in writing I can't help it.

One day I'll write it all down in a way that makes sense, I promise.

I love how patient you are with me. No one has ever been. I was always too loud, too distracted, too weird, too complicated, too much. But not to you.

I wish you were here to take me in your arms, it's hard not to fall apart without you holding me together.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Better. Fucking determined to get through this and get back to you. Still scared.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Have a real conversation with you without breaking down on the phone. Here's to hoping. Detoxing and being sober has given me a hair trigger on my emotions, it seems.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your patience. Your grace. Your voice in my ear. That you still haven't given up on me. DnD, for giving me a purpose when I needed one, a tool to give others the help I so desperately wanted. The weird kid's name is Alex, and he does know DnD. We'll try to find more people for a campaign.

Day 16

Steve, baby,

I am so fucking sorry. Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck. I'm such an asshole. Please pick up the phone. I need to tell you how sorry I am. I didn't mean it, I was just scared. When you said that maybe Laura was right and you shouldn't come to see me next week if I wasn't ready, I thought you didn't want me anymore. That you finally got tired of holding my hand and watching me do those damn baby steps. It's been over two weeks, why am I not better? Why am I not done with this shit?

I want to be done, I swear.

Please don't leave me.

Please pick up the phone.

Please, please, please.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck this shit, what good is it if I keep hurting you?

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Stop being a fucking asshole.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

I want it to be you, but I'm not sure I even have you in my life anymore.

Day 23

Stevie,

I'm scared. Isn't this the stupidest thing you've ever heard? A few days ago I begged to see you. Fuck, I was so desperate to see you that I almost ruined everything. I'm still sorry, I hope you know that. I know, I know, you said that it's okay and that it can't be all smooth sailing, that you forgive me. That you'll keep forgiving me as long as I keep coming back to talk to you, to explain, to show you that I mean it.

And now I've got the all clear for you to come and see me, and I'm too scared to tell you.

I'm still not the man I want to be. The man who deserves someone like you.

Laura told me that love isn't something you deserve, it's something freely given. We don't decide if someone can love us, only they do. And that I have to stop pushing people away because I'm convinced they can't love me. It's their choice and I shouldn't try to take it away from them.

I think about this a lot.

I want to let you love me, I do. It's just hard for me to understand why you would want to do that at all. It's something Laura wants to work on with me as well.

There is so much work to do. I hate to bother you with it. To make it your problem. I wanted to come in here and two weeks later walk out a new man. A better one. One you can love easily and who can love you back in a way you can understand. A man Wayne can be proud to call his son. A man Gareth and Jeff and Grant want to have as a friend, as a bandmate. A man the kids can look up to as much as they look up to you.

Laura said I should take the hand you are holding out to me. It's a decision I make every day. I took it in the hospital. I took it when you drove me here.

I should take it by letting you in, letting you see the work in progress that I am right now.

I think I will call you after dinner to tell you.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

Fuck if I know. It's a lot to feel when you've numbed your feelings for so long. I remember why I did it, but I won't do it again, I'll learn to deal with it.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

Take you in my arms and hold you. Let myself be held by you.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

Your hand in mine. The thought of you that keeps me going. Your bravery. Dustin and Mike and Will and Lucas. They call me all the time, you know. Asking me about my first campaign here, telling me about their lives. Keeping in touch, even though I failed them almost as much as my old man did me.

Day 31

Steve, my love,

You're on your way to pick me up and I can't believe we made it here. It's not done, it probably never will be. I know that now. I have to keep working on myself and being well. But it's so fucking worth it, Stevie.

I'm glad that Laura agreed to stay my therapist even if I leave the center. I trust her. She gets me, she knows when to push me and tell me the ugly truth, and when I need time to process things.

I haven't told you yet, but I'm not going back to Corroded Coffin. At least not right now. I talked to the guys and they all agreed that it's best if I take some time for myself. And for you. For my family and friends. They actually have a guy named Tig who auditioned while I was here and they like him. He's good, they sent me a demo. They asked me if it would be okay and I said it would be. It's true, even though it hurts. I have to do this for myself.

Because I am going to give this to you later, I want to tell you something here before I lose my courage.

Steve. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know I haven't always shown you the way you deserve. Hell, some days I certainly didn't act like it. My worst days. But I never stopped loving you. I don't think I ever will.

But I also learned to like myself a little better here. I no longer want to punish myself for things that were out of my control, like my mom dying or my dad not caring enough for me to stay. I want to be loved. I want you to love me. I want to let you.

I want to finally leave the past behind and allow myself to think about the future. And whenever I do, you're in it. You're the anchor, the epicenter of all my plans.

Stevie, sweetheart, I want to marry you.

Don't worry, I'm not proposing. This is just something I needed to tell you. Someday I want to be your husband, if you want me.

You are my past, my present and my future.

This is me taking your hand every day until I die or you stop reaching for me.

How are you doing right now? Don't hold back.

So fucking excited to have you all to myself again. Seriously, I'm going a little crazy. I'm also hopeful about the future. And in love. I'm so fucking in love with you.

What do you want to accomplish tomorrow?

To start our life together without forgetting what came before.

What are you grateful for in your own life today?

My second chance.

[ladykailitha]

Around the World Part 9

And here we are at the end of the story. There is one more story left to be told. And that's "The Rise of The Fallen" which is scheduled to come out on Sunday. Then the second and final part will come out on Tuesday.

In this one, we get the reactions from Steve's other friends and Murray appears for a final fuck you to Nancy. With another sweet cameo from Vickie.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

~

They made their merry way through Europe, Murray keeping his eagle-eye out for fans and paparazzi alike, all while Steve took pictures of Eddie different outfits. His personal favorite was of Eddie standing next a group of Corroded Coffin fans at ‘The Shining” motel in Germany.

His hair was tucked up under a hat and he wore a baggy jeans and wore a fuzzy blue-grey sweater. He still had his scruff and the sunglasses almost made him look more like Johnny Depp, then Eddie Munson.

Eddie was sure to steer clear of blacks and leathers and to keep his hair out of his face. He even wore a bright orange wig in Romania and Vlad the Impaler’s real castle and not the one Hollywood used for their movies.

Everyone agreed he looked dreadful in the wig, but they couldn’t deny the damn thing’s effectiveness.

They parted with Murray in Greece. He had found a lovely little cottage to settled down in and so they bid their travel partner farewell.

There in while they were viewing the Hagia Sophia in Turkiye because Chrissy expressed an interest, they met Gareth and Shane.

“Eddie!” Gareth cried and ran into his arms for a big hug.

Robin and Steve were treated to the same bear hug from Shane. Steve held Shane at arms length and smiled. His twin looked good. There was a sparkle to his eyes that had been missing on the tour.

“You look great!” he enthused to Shane’s bemusement.

“Don’t I always?” Shane teased.

Steve laughed. “Of course you do, but you look...”

“Healthy,” Robin supplied.

Then Shane truly blushed. “Thanks. Someone suggested that maybe Muslim countries might be the way to go to avoid certain vices...”

“And how is that working out for you?” Steve asked with a smile.

“Good,” Shane said, “great even.”

They decided to tour the rest of Istanbul together. Just taking in all the beautiful sites.

Steve led Shane away from the group as they were saying their goodbyes.

“What’s on your mind, twin?” Shane asked, leaning up against the railing that looked out into the city.

“Eddie asked me to marry him.” Steve fiddled with the necklace as he spoke.

Shane gently took it from his nervous fingers and smiled. “What’s the charm on his necklace, then?”

“Wings.”

Shane’s smile widened. “Because of course it is. He’s going take good care of you, you know?”

Steve blushed and nodded his head. “Yeah. Yeah, I do.”

“Good,” Shane said with a soft smile. “Now tell me all about how he proposed.”

So he did. He launched into the whole story, including the mess in Venice.

“Nice to see he isn’t Mr. Perfect,” Shane said with a huff of laughter. “But good on him realizing he done fucked up, though.”

“Yeaaahhh,” Steve said with wry smile.

They walked back to the others and Eddie looked up at Steve and smiled. Steve smiled back.

~

Their tour through Asia saw them seeing haunted forests and beautiful tombs. They saw the Terracotta warriors and the Great Wall of China, Himeji Castle and Aokigahara in Japan, the Chaukhadi Tombs in Pakistan. Finally they arrived in beautiful India.

They stood in front of the one of the most well known tombs in the world. The Taj Mahal. It was even more beautiful in person than it was in pictures.

Eddie turned to Steve. “When I die are you going to build me as beautiful a tomb as this?”

“Yeah, babe,” Steve said, pulling him close. “Everyone will know the resting place of Eddie Munson, rockstar and best boyfriend in the world.”

Eddie blushed and ducked his head, his hair tucked away as had become the norm on this trip. “Shucks, Stevie. I thought you were going to say no.”

Steve laughed, giddy. “Never. Maybe we should start building it now, like the pyramids in Egypt so you can be interred with your guitar collection.”

Eddie’s went wide. “You do love me!” He wrapped his arms around Steve and kissed him soundly.

“The things they allow in public these days,” huffed a fond female voice behind them.

The four of them turned to see Nadia, Spence and a couple of well dressed young men that must have been Nadia’s brothers.

“Nadia! Spence!” Robin squealed and ran over to give them huge hugs. She even included the brothers in her enthusiastic greetings.

“These are my brothers, Indra and Jai,” Nadia said introducing them. “This is Spence’s friend, Steve, his boyfriend Eddie and Chrissy and Robin also Steve and Eddie’s friends.”

They all greeted each other.

“You know,” Eddie said with a huff of laughter. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say Stevie’s friends were social media stalking us as we’ve met up with everyone at this point.”

“You saw Simon and Shane, too?” Spence asked, tilting his head to the side. “I knew you guys were traveling the world, but Italy and Turkiye, as well?”

“We’ve been having a blast!” Robin said throwing her arms out. “Chrissy and I are heading back to the States after India, but Steve and Eddie are going to continue with Australia, some Africa and a couple places in South America before coming home to California.”

Spence bit his lip. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” He waved vaguely at Eddie.

Eddie grinned. “We’ve been taking the proper precautions and we wanted to extend our trip out a little bit more.”

Spence looked to Steve who nodded.

“Well,” Nadia said with her own huff of laughter. “If the biggest thing that happened was Boston and that was almost two months ago and you haven’t been spotted since, I think they’ll be just fine.”

Spence looked down at her with a broad grin. “You’re right.”

“You best get used to that,” the younger of the two boys, Jai said, “she is always right. Even our mom agrees with her most of the time.”

“It’s frightening,” Indra said, with a nod.

Nadia just smiled up at Spence with find amusement.

“Yup!” Spence said, pressing his lips together. “Learning that lesson fast.”

Steve let out a laugh and soon everyone had joined in.

~

They toured India a little more with suggestions from Indra who was also a spooky fan and then they moved on.

Everywhere they went, Eddie had tried on a different look. Often blending in with the locals. There were exotic locales and spooky hotels. And in each place, Steve took a picture of Eddie incognito.

Steve laughed more in those four months then he had since he started being Abbadon in The Fallen.

Eddie was right, being a normal guy had its perks and getting to spend that with Eddie? Really made it all worth it.

Far too soon they were lifting off the runway in Mexico City on their way back to their lives.

“Well, Stevie,” Eddie said with a smile, “you ready to go back home?”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, I loved traveling the world. Especially with Chrissy and Robin. Seeing the guys doing so well. It really made it all worth while. But I want to sleep in my bed. I want to start writing again. I really didn’t that much while we were traveling. I learned so much out here about me, I almost can’t wait to be Abbadon again.”

“I learned a lot about me, too,” Eddie agreed. “I’ve rarely had a chance to be myself in the last ten years that I almost forgot where I came from. I’m not the leather and chains. I’m not the heavy metal rockstar. I’m just a poor schmuck from Hawkins, Indiana who got so fucking lucky.”

“You think you’re next album is going to reflect that?” Steve asked as he rummaged in his backpack for his book.

“Probably,” Eddie huffed in amusement. “After the third solely dedicated to you.”

“Only a third?” he teased. “Dustin was sure it was half.”

Eddie buried his head in his hands. “Why do we tell that butthead anything?”

“I figure it’s that open and round face of his,” Steve groused. “It just screams ‘trust me’.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side and then nodded. “Yeah, that tracks.”

~

Steve’s first stop after getting off the plane was straight to Vickie’s office. He needed to clear something with her before he went nuclear.

Vickie raised her head and smiled when Steve knocked on her door.

“Nichole said it was okay to just come in,” he said with a smile.

“And Nichole would be correct,” she said indicating the chairs in front of her, “have a seat. Tell me all about your lovely vacation. Thank you for sending me pictures by the way, it helped me and my team keep up on all the goings on and keep fan reactions to a minimum.”

“You’re welcome!” Steve said brightly, closing the door behind him. “So this is about the pictures, actually.”

“Oh?” she said, leaning back in her chair. “Do tell.”

So Steve did.

At the end of his explanation and question Vickie grinned. “I think that’s a beautiful way to do it. I’ll make sure she’s served before you send out the message and you’re all good to go.”

“I have an idea on who should serve her, too,” he said, grinning back at her.

“If you’re thinking of who I’m thinking of,” she said slyly, “then it’ll be perfect.”

Steve just smiled.

~

There was a knock on the door and Nancy went up to get it. She had just finished applying for schools to change her career from being an agent to a journalist. The thought of really getting to the heart of a story like she had on the school newspaper all those years ago, really lit something in her.

She opened the door and there was a short man with thick, wire glasses and a sneering grin.

“Wait, you’re Murray Bauman, right?” she asked. “Had I know you were coming I would have opened a bottle of wine to commiserate with. Both of us having been discarded like trash when Corroded Coffin was done with us.”

Murray shrugged. “It was time. I needed the push to retire. Got myself a lovely little cottage in Greece now.”

She blinked at him for a moment. “Then why are you here?”

“This!” He handed her a large manilla envelope and waved goodbye.

Inside was a cease and desist as well as a notification that she may have violated an NDA.

“Shit.”

There was another paper in the envelope and when she pulled it out, her heart sank. She slumped against the wall and let the picture fall to the floor. It was a picture of the London Eye in the background with Chrissy and Robin on one side and Steve and Eddie on the other and in the middle smiling up at the camera, clearly taken by someone else, was Murray Bauman.

~

Steve and Eddie were snuggled up on Steve’s bed, Eddie curled around Steve.

Steve hit send and put the phone down to wrap his arms around Eddie. “There. All posted across all social media. I’ve put us both on mute and Vickie is going to handle the next forty-eight hours.”

“I wish I could have seen her face when she saw the picture,” Eddie huffed with a grin.

“Me, too.”

Steve’s phone lit up once to confirm the post of: “Traveling with a rockstar is like playing hide and seek with fans. How many of you saw him but didn’t realize you were standing next to Eddie Munson?! Also, to the 'fan' who outed us in Boston, we know who you are and an NDA maaaayyyy have been violated. You'll speak to our lawyers soon! “

Eddie and Steve soon drifted off to sleep, content with their lives.

~

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @beelze-the-bubkiss

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @cryptid-system

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji

5- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

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7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

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9- @scoops-aboy86 @kurofuckingshi16 @watermelonmite @eyehartart @dreamercec

10- @little-birch-boy @yearningagain @micheledawn1975 @blondie1006 @sadisticaltarts

[joekeeryswife]

Deadbeat dad - e.m

hello angels! i hope you’re all okay. i am not after writing this, i’m legit in floods of tears. it is a sad dad/rockstar!eddie. i am legit heartbroken at this omfg. anyway, enjoy reading🩷 eddie’s part two x steve’s part two x

taglist (add yourselves 🩷) @eddieamoremio @theshireisonfire @thankingjoe @livsters @sadbitchfangirl @hellfire1986baby @ladyapplejackdnd @alexxavicry @juleshadalittlelamb @hollandweather @lovurry @bibieddiesgf @plk-18 @Heyyimmissunderstood @m-rae23 @sheisjoeschateau @hargrovesswifee @shiftingmack @chxrrysprxut @Idkjoequinn (if there’s a line through your @ i can’t tag you, lmk if you’ve changed your name🩷)

"i can't make it today, i'm really really busy" you sighed, rubbing your forehead with your free hand as you held the phone to your ear with your other. "this can't keep happening Eddie, she has been wanting to see you for weeks now" this was the third time this month Eddie had cancelled.

your sweet girl Penny had been ecstatic when Eddie spoke to her last week to say that he would be here this weekend and he wasn't. "well i'm sorry y/n but i have things to do. this band is really important to me" you weren't shocked. Eddie had always put the band before his family, that was why you and Eddie split up.

"she's your daughter, she can't fit her life around you anymore. she should be more important then that stupid band you have" you could hear Penny's footsteps upstairs meaning she was now awake. "you know what fuck you. i'm busy all the time and i've only cancelled once, get over yourself" you scoffed, not wanting to argue over the phone you asked one simple question.

"are you going to be here for her birthday next Saturday?" you just hoped for once that he would put his daughter first, she loved him but he just left her hanging all the time. "yes y/n i'll be there. what time" he sounded uninterested, like he didn't really care for the party but it was important to her that he was there.

you felt a little glimmer of hope that maybe he would change and make an effort for one day "be here by three, let me know before if you can't come because i'll have to tell her-" he cut you off "i got it bye" with that he ended the phone slamming it down harshly. you put the phone down and heard Penny quickly approaching the living room.

"mama i need to get ready for daddy" you looked at her with a sympathetic smile. her curls were all over the place but she looked so adorable, holding the small bear she had gotten for her first birthday. you opened your arms for her and she climbed into your lap allowing you to wrap your arms around her, you kissed her forehead a couple of times and sighed.

"daddy can't make it today sweetheart" you felt her shoulders drop. "but why?" her voice was quiet and filled with sadness making your heart break. you brushed her curls out of her face and stroked her cheek "i don't know baby". you saw her cuddle her teddy bear closer and felt her sigh deeply.

"it's okay mama we can do something together right?" she looked up at you as you looked down at her. her eyes were exactly like her dads, it was like looking at a mini Eddie was staring up at you. she only got a few features from you but she was beautiful, the prettiest little girl.

you smiled and nodded your hand running through her hair "of course we can, you pick" she smiled at you and thought about what she would like to do that day and you just prayed that Eddie made it to her party. it was one day, would he really miss his daughters birthday?

-

"is daddy coming today mama?" you heard Penny say as you set up the snack table in your spacious living room ready for the party which was in a few hours. you turned to look at her, she was dressed in a white dress with her curls laying perfectly in a ponytail. "i think so honey, he told me he was coming so i don't see why not"

today was the day you would see if Eddie would show up for his daughter. one day that was so special to her and you were still hoping that he would show up and surprise you all. Steve and Robin had come over to help with everything around the house and you were so grateful to have friends like them, who were willing to take the time to come to your house and help you.

"come on birthday girl, why don't we go upstairs and play with your toys" Robin said as she left you to finish up the snack table. once you heard her bedroom door close you sighed, you knew the chances were very slim that Eddie would show up and you just hoped that he would prove you wrong.

Steve was on a step ladder hanging up a huge banner when he turned to look at you, being careful he wouldn't fall off. "do you think he will turn up?" everyone who knew the situation with you and Eddie knew it was very unlikely that he would turn up.

"i don't think so but i can't say that to her today, i'm just hoping that he does. not for me but for her she deserves it" it had been three years since you and Eddie split up and he had seen Penny maybe 20 times. it went from him seeing her every time he came back here from work to him not making the effort in showing up for her.

"he is being stupid. if he doesn't show up he it's unforgivable. i'll punch him if you need me too" you laughed loudly. it was well known that Steve was not a good fighter but you appreciated the thought. "with your track record i think we should leave the fighting" you smiled at him and looked up at the clock on the wall.

three o'clock had been and gone meaning the party would start soon. "i think Wayne has taken the day off to see her though so that's nice. all her friends are coming so if he doesn't she might be distracted enough to not notice" Steve felt sad for you but especially Penny.

he knew what it was like to have parents that didn't care, didn't bother showing up and he was happy that Penny had you. you always went above and beyond for her and he always admired it. you heard the doorbell ring making you smooth out your dress "it looks perfect okay? i'll go get Penny you open the door" Steve stepped down from the ladder and took it with him as he left you.

you walked to the front door and looked through the peephole to see Wayne standing there with a small, neatly wrapped gift in his hand. "hi Wayne" you said as you opened the door with a smile on your face. Wayne smiled and opened his arms to greet you, you were lucky you always had an amazing relationship with Wayne.

he was always here when you needed him, he helped loads when you and Eddie split up and he always made time for Penny which was the most important thing. "how you doing?" you pulled away from the hug and moved to the side so he could come in.

"i'm okay, very emotional. i can't believe she's five, she's growing up" you followed him into the living room and sat down next to him on the sofa. "i know, seems like only yesterday i got the call from ed's that she'd been born" he instantly realised what he had said and stuttered out an apology which you dismissed "it's okay really, it's a happy memory" it was a touchy subject and you knew Wayne had no ill intentions saying that.

"grandpa Wayne" you heard Penny scream as she saw her grandad was here. "hi princess" he smiled as she ran to him and squealed when he picked her up and placed her on his lap so he could cuddle her. "happy birthday" he kissed her forehead and you smiled at the interaction.

even though bad things happened between you and Eddie, Wayne was always there to tell him that what he did was stupid and that he'd let go of the best thing that would ever happen to him, he was also there for you when you and for that you were forever grateful. Wayne never left.

"did you get everything you wanted" he asked as the two pulled away. you wanted to stay and watch the two of them but another knock at the door pulled you away from the small group.

the next people to arrive were Nancy, Jonathan, Dustin, Will and Mike. you could see a few cars pulling up outside your house so after you greeted them you kept the door open and waiting for them. you could hear Penny giggling in the living room which meant she was happy and that was all that mattered to you today.

once everyone was in the party the kids were dancing and singing whilst the adults lingered around the living room and kitchen talking to one another. you saw Penny and Lottie, one of her school friends dancing with one another making your heart swell with adoration. she looked just looked so happy.

you were standing with Dustin and Steve, watching the kids closely just incase something was to happen. "so, where's Eddie?" Dustin asked as he looked around the room you only sighed and shook your head. "i don't know, i told him to be here at three and it's now four thirty"

you knew something like this would happen just like your gut feeling was telling you it would. "maybe he's just running a little late? i mean it's his daughters birthday for gods sake he needs to be here for her" Dustin rolled his eyes and Steve felt anger filling his body. how could someone do something like this to Penny? the sweetest little girl didn't deserve this.

"i doubt it Dustin. its been almost a month since he last saw her and every weekend he tells her he's gonna be here and then that day rolls around and he isn't. she is heartbroken every time and i'm honestly so close to just cutting off visitation, it's not like he sees her anyway" Dustin nodded and scratched the back of his neck, Eddie was his friend but it was getting harder and harder to defend him.

"he's unfortunately going to find out the hard way, have you told him how this is making her feel?" you nodded and looked at Penny again who had the biggest smile on her face as she danced with more of her friends. "of course i have, every time i get hit with the 'this band is so important to me' but i just keep remembering what it was like before Corroded Coffin took off you know?"

before the band got recognition he worked as a mechanic with Wayne, he made time for you and Penny but it was like as soon as they got the fame he didn't care. his priority changed. "he used to care, he was an amazing dad and i loved him but now i'm stuck wondering how can one person change so quickly. she loves her dad and it breaks my heart seeing her excitement fade as soon as i tell her he isn't coming. it's just too much for her, it's too much for me"

you looked up at the ceiling as you felt tears fill your eyes, you could feel your lip tremble as you tried to keep them in. of course when you and Eddie broke up it broke you, you thought the two of you would be together forever and just seeing the man you love change within a few weeks hurt you badly.

"hey no no don't cry, he isn't worth your tears honey. you're doing an incredible job and he's an asshole" you felt Steve's arm wrap around your shoulders as he pulled you in for a hug. you took a deep breath shocked that you were managing to keep these tears at bay. "it's just one day that i wish he tried, i can manage the other times but it's her birthday and he can't even show up" both boys nodded and you felt Steve's hand stroke your arm.

"he's a dick, but i promise you have all of us and i know it's not how you envisioned your family but you make that little girl so happy and you've done it all on your own. let's try forget about him and enjoy it yeah?" you nodded and kissed Steve’s cheek.

it was now nearing the end of Penny’s party and she was sat on the small sofa which was by the window overlooking the front garden watching as each car drove by the house. she was hoping that one of them would stop and her dad would be there to surprise her but every time the car didn’t stop she felt sadness fill her body.

“sweetheart, everyone’s in the kitchen ready to do your birthday cake” you said as you walked into the living room. “daddy’s not coming is he” you could hear the upset in her voice and it just broke you. you sighed and walked to her and sat down next to her, it was just big enough to fit the two of you.

you stroked her cheek softly and nodded “i don’t think so baby, i’m so sorry” you just watched as she nodded, she wasn’t sulking but you could tell she was really upset. “do you think we could call him maybe? maybe he’s stuck in a jam” you knew what she meant, a traffic jam was a common excuse that you had used for Eddie not turning up.

“of course we can” you got up and walked to the phone which was by the tv and dialled Eddie’s number. the phone rang but of course there was no answer and you watched as she got up from the sofa a frown on her face. she walked to you and held out her hand so she could take the phone as she heard the voicemail beep meaning she could leave a message.

“daddy. are you coming to my party, i miss you” with no response she placed the phone back down on the holder and you kneeled down. she grabbed your hand tightly “it’s okay sweet girl, we will sort it i promise. come on everyone’s waiting for you” you kissed her cheek and stood up so the two of you could walk to the kitchen.

it was evident that she was sad as she listened to everyone sing happy birthday to her and when she blew out her candles, she wished that her dad would turn to her party and surprise her. but her wish unfortunately never came true.

-

it had been a week since Penny’s birthday party and you hadn’t heard from Eddie at all, he never returned the voice message Penny left and you couldn’t help but cry once Penny was in bed and everyone except Steve and Robin had left. you couldn’t get that sad look on her face out of your mind.

today Steve was round and had decided he was going to take you and Penny out to the mall for some shopping and some ice cream, he had promised Penny last week when she was sat on his lap crying into his neck that Eddie didn’t turn up.

it was four o’clock and all three of you were finally ready to go to the mall, Steve and Penny were in her room finishing up a puzzle they had started that morning. it was an easy one but Steve had acted like he didn’t understand it which made Penny explain it in what he described as the most perfect explanation he had ever heard.

you were putting on your shoes and waiting for them to finish up when a knock at your door pulled you out of your thoughts. you opened the door and was shocked to see Eddie standing there with a gift in his hands. “hey y/n, where is everyone. the party started an hour ago” he tried to brush past you but your hand stopped him from coming in.

“the party you’re talking about was last week Eddie, you knew that” you were furious, he’d turned up a week late. “no it’s not it’s today” you shook your head. “it wasn’t Eddie and if you answered your phone you would know that it was last week. did you not listen to the voicemail Penny left you?”

he shook his head and ran a hand through his hair “look i thought it was this weekend, it’s only a week why does it matter. i’ve come to spend the day with her” you scoffed and shook you head again, it was almost laughable.

“you’re joking with me right? you think that you can just turn up here a week late and act like that’s not okay? it was one day where i had begged you to come and you couldn’t even make the effort to show up. she’s devastated Eddie, you promised her” you almost shouted but you didn’t want to alert Penny and Steve that Eddie was here, you wanted him to leave.

“she’s busy today, like i said she doesn’t fit around your schedule anymore” Eddie rolled his eyes “i’m her dad, you can’t just stop me from seeing her” you looked him up and down, you hadn’t even realised how terrible he looked. pale, lifeless.

“you are no father Eddie, you stopped being her dad the minute your band got fame. you have no idea what it’s like to see her get hurt over and over again when you decide to not show up. maybe it’s because you’re with one of your groupies or maybe you’re too busy that day getting high with your friends i don’t care, i asked for one day. one day where you’d prove me wrong and you couldn’t even make the effort to see her on her birthday”

you just felt sad, he was nothing like the Eddie you had fallen in love with all those years ago but now when you see him you just feel angry, hurt and disgusted. “i’m sorry okay? i’ve come here to see her and i’d like to if you’d let me. i am her dad y/n and we can’t change that”

you head heavy footsteps walking down the stairs and footsteps approaching the door. you turned your head as you heard Penny laugh loudly at something Steve had said to her making Eddies focus change from you to her. she was in Steve’s arms hugging him exactly like she used to hug him and that hurt.

it took Steve a minute but he finally noticed Eddie standing there with a small gift in his hands. “oh shit” he whispered, his smile falling as he noticed yours and his hurt expression on your faces, both for completely different reasons. “hi Penny” she looked at the voice and saw Eddie standing there.

he had a small smile on his face as he took in her features. big brown eyes, curly hair which was exactly like his and lips, it was all him except for the small button nose she had obviously gotten from you. she looked at him with no expression, still hurt from what happened last weekend.

she turned away from him and dug her face into Steve’s neck. he took that as an indication that she didn’t want to see him so he walked away to the living room. Eddies smile dropped as he watched her and Steve walk away.

“he can’t just walk away with her, i wanted to see her. im her dad y/n, you can’t just take her away from me” he wasn’t angry, he was hurt that she’d turned away from him like that. “she doesn't see you as a dad anymore Eddie because you're never here” it hurt to tell him that but it was the truth.

his breathing stuttered as he heard that. yes he hadn’t been the perfect dad but he loved that little girl even if he didn’t show it. his eyes filled with tears, he wanted to say more, he wanted to stand there and fight but he didn’t want to cry in front of you so all he did was nod and hand the gift over to you. he bowed his head “i’m gonna uhh, try and change. i’m sorry y/n i really am” with that he walked away.

“i hope so Eddie” you whispered as you watched him walk to his car. you really did hope so.

[gretavanflame]

House Of Horror

Danny Wagner x Reader (f)

Thank you for this suggestion! I really hope you enjoy it!

Cw: SMUT including: unprotected penetration, touching, kissing, slight overstimulation, public sex (sorta), rough sex, other themes including: slight embarrassment, fear, teasing, horror movies, drinking, cursing, and also of course it wouldn't be a Danny fic without some fluff, enjoy! <3

Word Count: 2.7k

The boys are back from tour, which means you get to spend every night cuddled up with your rockstar boyfriend Danny. When he had first come through the front door, bags in hand, you had practically jumped all over him and taken him to bed, and every night since then had gone pretty much the same.

Tonight the two of you have been invited to Josh’s for a movie night along with the rest of the boys and Jake’s girlfriend, so you both pile into the car and begin the short drive over. You ride with the windows down, breathing in that crisp fall air while some Aerosmith plays over the speakers and Danny’s hand resting comfortably on your thigh. 

Soon the car is pulling into the driveway and you and him are walking hand in hand to the front door. You look around at the woods behind Josh’s house, completely pitch black aside from the dimly lit porch light outside. The only sounds that can be heard are the eerie crickets chirping and the occasional owl coo. You grasp Danny’s hand a little tighter and scoot closer while you wait for the door to open.

It’s swung open and you’re greeted by an overenthusiastic Josh, a state that he is often in. 

“Heyyy Y/n, long time no see, so glad you could make it!” 

“Hey Josh! Missed you guys!”

He brings you in for a tight hug and kisses your forehead. If it was anyone else Danny would be ready to fight, but with Josh, it’s just another one of his things. He gives Danny a quick pat on the shoulder with a smile and the two of you enter the house and you find everyone else all seated comfortably on the couch, beers and other assorted drinks in hand.

Jake and Sam stand to greet you both, Evangeline on Jake’s arm. 

“Y/nnn!” Sam cheers, wrapping his arms around you for one of his famous bear hugs.

“Sammm! How was tour?” 

Your smile stretches wide at the youngest Kiszka. Because of his closeness to your boyfriend, you’ve spent the most time with him besides Danny, and it’s always a pleasure to see him.

“Amazing, I'll tell you all about it later, yeah?”

You nod and turn to Jake and his girlfriend. He brings you in for a short side hug and you hug Evangeline as well. You and Jake have never been super close, but it’s still always nice to see him, the same goes for his girlfriend. 

Soon Josh is yelling over all the small talk and says, “Alright guys who’s ready to be scared shitless!”

Everyone else laughs, but you shoot your eyes at Danny, panicking for a moment and he gives you a knowing nod. 

“Uh guys, do we have to watch a scary movie?” You ask, voice quivering slightly.

“Yes. Me and Josh already picked one out, it’s gonna knock your fucking socks off.” Jake smirks and looks over to Josh who is raising his brows through an excited grin. 

“You’ll be okay Y/n, I’ll protect you if Danny isn’t up for the task.” Sam chimes in and you roll your eyes.

You all make your way to the couch, you trying not to completely psych yourself out. It's fine, it’s fine, you’ve watched scary movies before, you’re okay. 

You all get settled on Josh’s couch, you and Danny in one corner, Jake and his girlfriend in the middle, Josh on the other side, and Sam on the floor.

You curl into Danny’s side, holding him tightly while Josh offers to get you a drink. You and Danny both opt for beer and he comes back moments later carrying a few cans to put on the coffee table in front of you.

The lights are shut off and Jake grabs the remote to find the movie that they had apparently chosen without you.

You whisper to Danny, “baby I really don’t like horror.”

“I know, I'm sorry, you’ll be okay though, I've got you. You trust me?” He smiles and you feel your fear partially melting away.

You give him a quick nod and nuzzle closer into his side. You can always trust him, no matter what.

He wraps his arm around you with his hand resting on your leg once more, and you rest your head on his shoulder.

The rest of the boys engage in small talk that you drown out until Jake finally picks the movie. Even the cover makes you shiver and want to close your eyes, but you push yourself to keep them open, at least for the beginning.

“Danny,” You whisper again. 

He turns to you and whispers back, “what’s up?”

“What if an axe murderer kills us while we’re watching the movie?”

He giggles and gives you a quick kiss on the cheek. “I love you Y/n, you know that right?”

“Yeah.” You find his hand and hold it tight. You turn to him and pucker your lips, waiting patiently for him to kiss you on the mouth.

Sam turns around and rolls his eyes, “Get a room you two.”

“Turn around Sam. Why are you watching me and my girlfriend kiss, is it because you can’t get one?”

Josh and Jake both erupt into laughter which you join in on. Sam rolls his eyes again and turns around before guzzling the last of his beer and throwing the can into the trash across the room which misses by a few feet.

“Yikes, not your day Sammy boy.” Jake leans down to pat him on the shoulder, Sam pushes his hand away.

“Okay can you all shut up. This movie is not only terrifying, but brilliant and I don’t want you all talking over it.”

You roll your eyes, knowing that if anyone’s gonna talk over the movie, it will likely be Josh.

The scene opens in the woods, dark and eerie similar to the outside of Josh’s house and the camera pans over to a tree. A figure runs across the screen, just hidden by the fog surrounding the forest and you gasp. The rest of the group looks over to you and you try to hide behind Danny, embarrassed when Jake snickers loudly.

“Jake shut the fuck up.” Danny whispers and pulls you closer to him.

The rest of the scene plays out while you tuck your face into his neck, preparing to fall asleep instead of watching the movie. A few minutes later the suspenseful music picks up and you make the mistake of looking to the screen only to find a bloody sight that you were not at all ready to see. You shudder and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom, feeling more nauseous than you’d like to admit.

You hear Josh’s faint voice asking if you’re okay, but you rush out of the room before you can hear a response. You make it to the bathroom and stare at yourself in the mirror. It’s hard to feel anything but embarrassment, and you shake your head at your reflection.

You take a seat on the toilet and run your fingers through your hair, trying your best not to look out of the window that leads straight to the backyard. Just then you hear a knock on the door which sends your heart rate sky-high. You wait for a moment, clutching your chest before cautiously whispering, “who’s there?”

“It’s me babe, let me in.”

You sign in relief and lean over to unlock the door. Danny slips in silently and closes the door behind him. He wears an infectious smile and asks, “did you really think something was out there to get you?”

You allow yourself to laugh alongside him, just for a second. “No, maybe, I-I don’t know.”

“It’s alright, just me. Sorry Jake was being an asshole. You feeling okay?”

“Yeah I think so. I just really fucking hate horror. I mean even seeing those woods, they look so much like where we are, and it just… sort of sends my head spinning you know? Like thinking the worst and everything.”

He takes a step closer and bends down before you. His eyes stand eye level to yours and he nods his head as his hands slip up your thighs to rest there. His touch is comforting and you let yourself take a breath.

“Don’t be embarrassed Y/n. I think it’s kind of cute.” He giggles and gives your thighs a small squeeze.

“You’re not embarrassed by your pussy girlfriend who can’t even watch a scary movie?” You ask hesitantly, a small smile playing on your lips.

“No, I’m not embarrassed by my pussy girlfriend who can’t even watch a scary movie. You know what I think you need?”

You can feel his demeanor shift as he takes your hands to stand up with him. You gaze up at his eyes, dark and half lidded as he pulls you so your chest is flush with his. The height difference between you never fails to give you butterflies, and you cock your head to the side.

“I think you just need someone to protect you. That’s all.” He smiles again, this time turning into a smirk when you giggle, tucking your head in his chest. 

“I think you need a big strong man, and I think I’m willing to take on the role.”

You lift your head off his chest to meet his eyes once more with a challenging look.

“You know, Sammy was offering, so maybe I’ll go and call him.”

Danny’s smile drops and a jealous glare replaces it, one that makes your knees almost give out. In seconds, two strong hands come to your waist, lifting and spinning you to sit on the counter next to the sink. He steps in between the gap so that his mouth is so close you can feel his breath, and he whispers, “he can’t fuck you like I can.”

You can feel your heartbeat thumping in your chest as Danny lowers his mouth onto yours. You let your eyes close as he connects your lips, sucking in and biting your bottom lip. You hiss as his hands come to your thighs, spreading them apart as he deepens the kiss.

You break away for a moment to ask, “are we really doing this here?”

“Do you not want to?” He challenges, raising a brow.

“No no, I definitely do. Let’s make it quick so no one gets suspicious.”

He quickly nods and kisses you again, tongue delving into your open mouth as you breathe out a moan. His hands come to your waistband, undoing your jeans with little struggle to pool them down around your ankles. His eyes catch on your light pink panties and he huffs out a groan. 

He leans down to kiss your center through the thin fabric, running his tongue along your clothed clit. You bite down on your lip to muffle any sound coming out as you bring your hand down to smooth over his curls. 

He pulls your panties to the side with one hand, holding them there while the other struggles to undo his own jean button. 

“Come here Danny.” You whisper. 

He stands and you reach out and unbutton his jeans. He slides them down, along with his boxers and your mouth waters at the sight of his cock already hard and dripping with precum. You stroke along his length and watch as his eyes flutter closed and a sigh of relief escapes him.

“Fuck me Danny.” You whisper into the small room and his eyes momentarily shut.

“Jesus Y/n.” 

He stalks closer, grabbing his cock in hand to line himself up. You hold your breath as he brings it to your entrance, trying your best to relax as he begins to inch it in. His mouth is parted as he watches where your bodies connect, brows pinches as he gently pushes into you.

A tight whimper flows off your tongue and he halts his movements, reminding you to relax and breathe. Even after all this time it’s still a slight stretch when he first puts in it. When you had first started dating, it had taken a while for him to be able to enter you fully, given his size. 

You exhale deeply, your breath hitching when he takes the opportunity to shoot into you. The quick thrust hits you so deep that you can feel it in your stomach, and he shushes you before pulling back out to slam in even harder.

Another moan tumbles out of you and he extends his hand to cover your mouth as his hips find a steady pace. 

“Can’t have everyone else finding out what we’re doing in here.” He grunts as he slides in and out of you. “It’s just our dirty little secret, right Y/n.” You nod with his hand still clasped over your mouth and hips still shooting into you. You stretch your legs open even more and watch as his eyes fall back to your entrance. His breathing picks up as he fucks you, and he licks his other hand to bring to your clit. 

A muffled moan struggles against his palm as his fingers begin to draw sloppy circles around your clit. You feel your whole body begin to tighten with a tension building and building. 

With his eyes still locked on your cunt, you take the opportunity to wrap your hand around the wrist of his hand covering your mouth and pull it back so you can suck his thumb into your mouth. You let your tongue swirl around it and smile as his eyes flick up to yours with a smirk of his own.

“Fuck me…” He sighs and you giggle around his finger.

You feel a sensation deep down start to bubble up as his hips pick up in speed. His fingers continue to circle your clit and you feel your legs begin to shake. You hold on his wrist tight and you shut your eyes, tilting your head back. You don’t have to say it, he knows you're close and you know he’s close too by the way his hips begin to falter. 

“Y/n.” He pleads, his voice coming out breathy and whiney. “I’m so close, you feel fuck, like heaven. How are you so perfect…”

His words draw you closer to the edge, and feel as if any second you’ll be brought right over it. Your walls constrict around him and he lets out a groan that sounds almost pathetic. You let yourself focus on the sounds he’s making, the deep breathing, the small whines, the animalistic moans that get louder with each thrust.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum Y/n, gonna ruin this pretty pussy, fuck.”

In seconds his hips wildly snap against you, his cock hitting that perfect spot so deep inside you until you finally feel yourself unraveling. Your legs squeeze together as he shoots his release into you, fucking you through yours. His name falls from your lips wrapped around his finger, your voice growing octaves by the second. His fingers around your clit keep going until you’re whining with overstimulation and pushing him away.

He pulls out of you while you feel your orgasm fading, your legs still shaking and cunt convulsing. You both catch your breath before he comes back in to give you another kiss. This one is slow and sensual, reminding you of why you fell in love with him in the first place. His hands find your waist and he finally breaks the kiss after what feels like a while.

He helps you stand and you pull your pants back up before checking your reflection in the mirror to make sure you both look decent. You look at each other and shrug before taking turns washing your hands. You take the first step towards the door to open it and Danny is close behind, smacking your ass with a laugh while you walk through the threshold.

You turn and blush at him before grabbing his hand to walk back to the couch together. When you finally enter the dark room, everyone’s eyes are on you and Danny takes the opportunity to speak before you can. 

“I think we’re gonna head home, thanks for having us over Josh, we’re really tired, but I’ll see you guys tomorrow for rehearsal.”

You look up at him, practically bursting with love as you wave your goodbyes and head for the car. Danny helps you in the passenger's side and whispers to you before closing the door, “We are so going for round two when we get home.”

.

.

.

[ghost-proofbaby]

SO SCARLET (IT WAS MAROON)

CHAPTER FIVE: HOLY GROUND

I LEFT A NOTE ON THE DOOR WITH THE JOKE WE MADE, AND THAT WAS THE FIRST DAY. AND DARLING, IT WAS GOOD NEVER LOOKING DOWN.

☆ pairings: rockstar!eddie munson x fem!reader

☆ warnings: no use of y/n, strong language, angst, minors dni

☆ WC: 8K+

☆ A/N: trying something new in the formating here amongst the chapter - please bear with me <3

thank you to my love @hellfire--cult for the divider!

masterlist

“I’m sure you’ll find a way.” 

Oh, how you realize you’ll come to regret that taunt. 

The first week of working on organizing Corroded Coffin’s single release party is easy enough. Most of the communication is restricted to Matt and vendors, beginning the process of assessing venues as you start your list of all that will be needed for the party. An actual location, an open bar, entire stage crews. Matt is able to provide a few connections here and there, people in the live music industry that owe him a favor as he had so kindly put it. You had your spreadsheet of contacts that was growing with each passing day, you had several venues that looked as though they would work well for the occasion — the only thing you had yet to do was go over options with the band or properly reach out for their list of requirements for their night of celebration. 

You had tried to be sneaky about it. Get around asking for any of their emails, continue living comfortably in the radio silence of not hearing from Eddie. And then you’d made the fatal mistake of asking Matt if he could gather the list of things the boys may want.

And of course, as any sane person would do, he had only forwarded the email to all of the boys’ professional emails and replied: I’ve CC’d our rockstars. I’ve instructed them to personally send you any requests they may have.

Fuck.

Eddie’s email sat at the lead of the list of CC’d emails, almost teasing you as it stared back at you from your laptop screen. A full week, you had avoided this. Even if he could have gotten your email from Matt, he hadn’t, and like a fool, you’d assumed that meant you were in the clear. 

So much for that.

You compose and erase multiple emails until you decide that if the boys want to reach out, they can. There was no need for you to make first contact; they now had your email, a bait set for them to initiate a conversation by sending you their lists. If Eddie wanted to reach out to you, he had the perfect excuse to do so. 

For a few hours, you don’t hear anything, and instead of sighing in relief, it only puts you further on edge. You want him to just get it over with. To send you an email, preferably an impersonal list that allows you to continue your job. No relations, no interferences. You didn’t know it, but the Universe was already laughing in your face. 

The first email from any of the boys comes from Jeff.

A simple list, just as you’d requested. There was nothing outrageous; he’d recommended an open bar, asked for a specific brand of whiskey if possible, and thanked you for all you were doing. Simple, kind, appreciative. Jeff, it seemed, had stayed as humble as you remembered him. 

The next email came from Gareth. Less simple, but still just as expected.

Nerds (the CANDY) of any kind. That vodka infused whipped cream (does it even get you drunk?), the softest robe money can buy. Actually, can I get matching house shoes with that robe? Can we also have some cigars in the dressing room? (We are getting a dressing room… right?) 

You’re so busy snorting at his requests, rolling your eyes but also losing yourself in the warmth to know he also hadn’t changed much, you don’t see the next email come through.

It was comforting. You knew Eddie had changed — more than you could ever wrap your head around — but these boys you once knew seemed to still be connected to their roots. You read the requests and recall the times you’d spent in Gareth’s hot garage over the summer, sitting on warm concrete as you cheered overly excited, even occasionally standing up to jokingly mosh to their rehearsals. Sweltering summer nights between friends and beers that lost their chill far too quickly, laughter that echoed down the driveway and out into the empty streets of Hawkins. Nostalgia burns away at you, sitting restlessly in your chest as you let yourself simmer in it for the first time since…. since moving to New York, really. Even in that first year, life had moved so quickly, you and Eddie never took the time to ruminate in your past too often. If you did, it had caught you off guard, always fleeting to make room for the next uncertain experience. 

You two had been so busy running away from your hometown, you’d never stopped to consider what you had given up in the process. 

A soft sigh escapes your lips, and you swear you can still taste the shitty Miller Lite, the only brand that seemed to occupy the Emerson’s fridge, on your tongue as you exit the email and scribble on the notepad before you. Even if Gareth had been joking around with some of his requests, you’d take them seriously — besides, the mental image of Gareth in a plush robe and fluffy slippers to match made you laugh. You were thinking about your past, and for once, you were laughing. This part wasn’t a stain, wasn’t something you had scrubbed away at in a haste to make it fade from your ledger. This was the part you should have been lingering on. 

And linger you did until you glanced up to find the next unread email.

Eddie. 

EDDIETHEBANISHED@gmail.com. You could fool yourself, tell yourself that email is from anyone else, but you know it isn’t. It isn’t even the email that had been CC’d. It’s his personal email. 

Your mouse hovers over the highlighted and unopened message, heart dropping with each passing second. There’s a small preview of his message, but your vision blurs just enough that you can’t make out the small words. 

Is this how you were always doomed to live out the rest of your days? To freeze, to panic, to malfunction at every slightest thing that has to do with the man you left to begin with? Would he always pull such visceral reactions from you? 

In an act of bravery, you press the tip of your finger against the smooth mouse pad, a muted click that doesn’t reach your ears signaling the official opening of the email. All of your hopes are shattered as you realize it’s clearly too short to be a list similar to the other boys, a simple response that you could acknowledge and move on from. 

No, he sends something that specifically calls for you to play with him. To reply and interact, to give him what he wants. To talk. 

Two fucking words. Two loaded, vexing, provocative words that call to you with the titillating grin you imagine he wore as he typed them. 

Your fingers work faster than your brain, slamming away at the keys hurriedly without thought as you type your least professional email to date. 

The bottom of the email is automatically signed off with your work signature, including your direct personal line. If you had half the mind, you would have erased that bit of information to keep it from Eddie. It even has your actual signature, a mature one that differs from how you used to scrawl your name atop of schoolwork in high school, that you had scanned into your computer after having gone through the painful process of rewriting it what must have been a thousand times. No one had let you in on the fact that most other corporate monsters and coworkers just used one of the sloping fonts available to them. No one had shown you the ropes – you’d just assumed that it was the normal, to go so above and beyond. 

Another brick in the foundation you’d built for yourself, separate from Eddie. Another attempt to change from the girl he’d once loved. 

You’re shocked when a reply comes very quickly. You hadn’t even clicked out of the thread before it entered your inbox.

You try to channel fury, years of irritation and calluses you’d built up against him. But your chest has been weakened by that brief moment of nostalgia that Jeff and Gareth had triggered, and it’s a fruitless battle when he sends another message rapidly. He’s treating it like casual texting rather than stiff business interactions. 

Your entire body flushes, a shock to your system coming that brings you out of the allusive hypnosis easily. 

My emails are monitored. They’re going to see that we know each other. I’m going to get fucking fired. 

You steady your breathing and try to stave off the anxiety. It’ll be fine; Lydia has no reason to comb through your emails at this time. Nothing said would trigger any bells or whistles to cause concern. It’s fine. It’ll be fine. It has to be. 

You wish you had it in you to see red. He had an incomprehensible amount of nerve to be asking for your personal email all because he refused to use his professional email. 

Soft. You’d worked on becoming a hardened version of your old self for two years, and all hard work was quickly going down the drain as you remained too soft for him. It was easy, too. All the rough edges had melted so discreetly somewhere amongst the in between. 

You think he’s dropped the topic of your personal email, but you should know better. Not even mere seconds after you receive the first email, brimming with nonchalance and a teasing tone that has no room between the two of you, another message comes through.

Good to see he’s still annoying and persistent as ever, I suppose. 

He’s all bark, no bite. That’s what you convince yourself. There’s no way he could find your personal email, a plethora of power and connections at his fingertips or not. Even if he could, it would take him ages and more effort than it would be worth. 

All bark. No bite.

You hadn’t realized just how quick and consistent his replies had maintained until you’re met with silence. You wait impatiently, biting at your fingernails as you await for another one of his responses. The more the time passes, the excessive minutes piling up in the quiet midday hum of your midtown apartment, the more noticeable Eddie’s online silence becomes.

No, you think suddenly and strongly. No, I am not doing this. 

You refuse to sit around like this and succumb so easily. All your half-healed scars thrum with aches deep-rooted within the skin you’ve grown over the last two years, screaming out in phantom pains with a reminder of what happened to you the last time you’d let yourself sit around and wait on the boy on the end of the line. Every lonely night, every tear shed, every beat of your bleeding heart — you cannot be doing this again, and not so soon. 

Quickly, you click out of your email tab and back onto the list of vendors you needed to contact for the bar commodities. Distract, distract, distract. You comb through your list. Some vendors seemed to hold more potential than others, more attainable in the grand scheme of it all. For the first time ever in your very short career of event planning, budget wasn’t the issue.

Eddie’s reputation was.

But you’re not thinking about Eddie. No, your focus was anywhere but him right now. You weren’t thinking about him, or his new cologne, or his new rings, or his new life-

Just as you pick up your cell phone to start your calls down the list, a notification pings.

Only seven minutes had passed. Seven minutes, and your phone is suddenly alight with a small but terrifying notification from your personal email.

New email from EDDIETHEBANISHED@gmail.com!

Oh, fuck.

Your thumb hesitates over the tiny banner before you release the breath you were sure you’d been holding the entire seven minutes. It shouldn’t have taken him such little time. You expected it to realistically take him a few hours, all your anxious waiting aside. 

There had been only one fatal flaw in your taunting — well, technically there were several becoming more apparent as the seconds ticked by, but only one so glaringly obvious. Your personal email address. You had forgotten.

You hadn’t changed it since high school, since moving to New York, since meeting and since leaving Eddie. 

CORRODEDSUGAR@gmail.com. 

The stupid inside joke haunts you. 

“Why does your email even matter?” Eddie huffed from where he was sprawled out on your bed, tossing around some bouncy ball he’d acquired a few nights before during dinner at a local pizza joint, “No one even uses email anymore.” 

He tossed the ball of rubber into the air once more, a blur of the rainbow swirl pattern whirring too close to your ceiling for comfort. Your focus waned from your laptop for just a moment as you suddenly shot out a hand, attempting to intercept the ball. 

No use. Eddie used one hand to swat yours away, the other happily capturing the toy in his palm with a muted thud. 

“Nuh, uh, uh,” he drawled as he looked at you with his boyish grin, eyes sparkling as his fingers closed loosely around his prize, “If you wanted one so badly the other night, you should have also coughed up a quarter.” 

You snorted, “Are you really proud of that? You spent a whole twenty five cents on a hunk of rubber, Rockstar.” 

“A hunk of rubber you’re now trying to steal from me.”

“I’m not trying to steal it,” you scowled, “I’m trying to focus here. Emails are important, despite your pessimism. Something my English teacher said about professionalism.” 

“You’re really going to listen to that dinosaur? The old O’Donnel-saurus?” Eddie mused, chuckling beneath his breath at his own joke.

You refused to crack a smile in return, or show any recognition at the awful joke, but your chest still warmed. The smoke of your affection for the boy in front of you unfurled, thick enough to choke you up a few extra seconds but thin enough to not suffocate. Never suffocate — it was a time in which you could never imagine your love for Eddie Munson being your downfall. It was a wispy and adaptable type of adoration, just like the smoke that flows off of the end of the incense you’d taken to burning in your room lately in lieu of candles. 

“It’d do you well to also come up with a professional sounding email, you know,” you hummed. You were mere seconds away from shoving your laptop away and joining Eddie in his relaxed position, maybe even laying your head on his chest or shoulder and bringing up the idea of a late afternoon nap you knew he’d never turn down, “Can’t go around emailing important people when you’re a rockstar with your Dungeons & Dragons nickname.” 

“One,” he held up a stern finger, “Like I said — I don’t use email. And two, I’m very happy with my email, sweetheart. I’ll probably email the damn President with that name. Life’s too short and we’re too young to get a stick up our ass about shit like that.” 

You reached out and wrapped your palm around his finger, tugging it down. Unlike with the ball, he let you capture him in your grasp, “I don’t have a stick up my ass about it.” 

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I don’t.” 

“Then make it something funny,” he wiggled his brows, “Make your email something stupid and live a little.” 

“A little?” you scoffed, “I think I live plenty for the both of us. You’ve put me through at least three lifetimes worth of stress before I’ve hit twenty. I probably have grey hairs already.” 

Your hand curled around his pointer finger drops to your thigh, but doesn’t release him. The touch remained, ever constant, now more for comfort rather than defiance. And he let you continue to hold him, as if your touch was a luxury he was indulging in just as much as you were his. 

“Wanna check?” he taunted. He lifted up off his back for a microsecond, tugging your arm with his before the roll of your eyes had him falling back flat once more.

It was a losing battle, arguing with Eddie.

Your conjoined hands settled back atop your thigh as you sighed. Maybe Eddie had been right, and you were stressing out too much about this. He was right; you were young, and having a dumb email was a right of passage. Something to giggle at in your maturity when you’d provide it later down the road, a flash of your youth to keep close. 

Fuck professionalism, or whatever high horse O’Donnel had been on.

“Fine,” you huffed, “What do you suggest?” 

“… To check for grey hairs?”

“For my email, you idiot.” 

A bit more back and forth, a bit too raunchy of ideas that passed Eddie’s lips only to be rejected quickly with rough shakes of your head. His finger remained locked in your palm, at some point his knuckle wiggling between suggestions to stroke at your skin. 

“Sweetheart, you’re being too picky,” Eddie finally whined as you shot down yet another one of his ideas, “At this point, just make it something related to the band. You’ll probably be Corroded Coffin’s manager when we make it big, anyways.” 

“That sounds like a nightmare,” you murmured, even if you enjoyed the thought. You already had started to get a hang of wrangling the boys in your small town for menial tasks and day-to-day activities. But on a wider, professional scale? You could already feel the headache pressing into your temples. If they ever offered you the proposition, you wouldn’t have said no, but you certainly would have complained to no end. And definitely got grey hairs.

“Sweetheart.”

The repetition of the nickname froze you. Your eyebrows furrowed as the wheels in your brain turned and you looked down at your boy, the formulation of an idea that was combining both of Eddie’s suggestions suddenly.

“Why do you call me sweetheart?” 

Eddie was taken back by your question, face crumpling with confusion, “What?”

“Why do you call me sweetheart?” you repeated yourself as you finally let go of his finger and twisted to face him fully, laptop momentarily forgotten as your legs folded beneath you and pressed into your worn mattress, “Like, I call you Rockstar because I know you’ll be a rockstar someday. Already are technically, to me, but don’t let that go to your head,” you explained, smiling shyly as Eddie narrowed his eyes and shined his dimples at you, “So why do you call me sweetheart?”

He hardly had to think about it, although his answer came out as more of a question, “Because you’re my sweetheart?”

“That’s all?”

“Is this a trick question?” 

You nearly cackled at his hesitation, “It isn’t, I swear. Just… humor me.” 

This time, he took his time to carefully deliberate his answer, “Well, I guess because it just fits,” he paused, wide eyes catching yours as you lifted your brows in question, “You know? Cause you’re sweet like sugar, and you’ve got a heart of gold,” he grabbed up the hand that once held him and drew it into his lips, peppering kisses across your knuckles and fingertips, fighting a grin as he groveled, “There. Is that romantic enough to humor you?” 

“Almost.” 

You pulled your hand away despite the fact that you wanted to let him continue his display of affection. You would have laid around all day, letting Eddie Munson shower you in all the affection he had to give. But you really needed to create this email.

And now, you had the perfect name.

CORRODEDSUGAR.

You created the account quickly. Set everything up with ease before you proudly turned your screen to Eddie. 

“Corroded sugar?” he read outloud in a murmur as a smile twitched at the corner of his mouth, “Cute. But also, very metal. Very badass. I approve, Sugar.” 

A new nickname was born that day, to haunt you and taunt you at every corner. In soft mornings when he woke before you, his voice softly cooing ‘wake up, Sugar’ as he’d brush his nose along your jaw and attempt to awaken you with needy nuzzling. Amidst heated and passionate arguments had all in good fun while out with friends, where he knew you were right but the closest he’d come to admitting it would simply be ‘whatever you say, Sugar!’. He’d even once weaponized it against you during sacred moments, where his lips worshiped you as they trailed leisurely down the skin of your torso until he’d settled between your thighs, humming as he wrapped ringed fingers around your hips and whispered nothing more than the nickname. ‘Sugar’. He had sighed as if he were a starving man, and you were the plate of sweetness that would bring him back to life.

Sugar. A prayer, a promise, a reminder. 

You couldn’t remember the last time he’d called you that. Until now.

When you’d tried to reset, rebuild, remake yourself, it had been hard to figure out a new email address. Amongst all the changes and all the decisions to be made, choosing a new email just felt overwhelming. And you’d been foolish, clung to one last relic of your past like an estranged child fisting a blanket to sleep. 

The seven minutes suddenly makes crystal clear sense. 

Whether it had really been Eddie’s rockstar connections from his fame, or simply recalling a far away memory, you hadn’t made yourself a very hard person to find. And you never considered that your laziness would have a consequence like this. 

You don’t know what else to say. Your mind keeps reading over that silly five letter word, the bold lettering jumping off the page at you. All recollections of every time he’d ever called you that slip into the forefront of your brain, slapping away any concentrated thought. 

You’d had dreams of him calling you that again. A mixture of memories and fantasies that would wake you up in the months following your departure. Compared to the other dreams you’d had amongst those, they had been a sweet reprieve. Not a nightmare of Eddie with his lips pressed to another, or mournful dreams where you reached out to him only for him to become intangible smoke where your hand should have connected with his torso. They were one of your only dreams you had awoken from without immediate tears. 

They were the type of dreams where you’d awake, and for just a moment, you’d forgotten all that had happened. They’d twist you up in a blissful blanket of delusion that he was still yours, that you were still laying in a shared bed in that small apartment, that there was still a calendar on the wall with the date of his return marked with a scarlet heart. 

The tears would come later. Once the dreamy fog cleared, and your eyes opened up to see the unfamiliar space you had taken to calling home instead.

The two of you should be discussing the release party. He should be handing over a list of requests and you should be adding them to the same page that you’d copied down Gareth’s. 

You shouldn’t be doing this. 

Talking, like nothing happened. Having a playful conversation over email that reeked of the same make-believe that had clung to your dreams of Sugar. 

He won’t break the illusion, so you do.

Messaging him from this contact only reminds you of all that could have been. All the joking conversations back in Hawkins of your involvement with the band once they inevitably blew up, all the late nights where you’d been privy to a private show as he hunched over his guitar and hummed out melodies to new songs, all the bruises those once familiar hands had left and then caressed in the afterglow. 

For just a moment, you miss it all. 

For only a second, you wish he wore the same cologne and you wish you still signed your name as you had when you first met him. You wish for days of instability and the solid touch of his shoulders beneath your palms as you convince him to take a leap of faith on himself and the band. Dancing in a small apartment, falling asleep on the phone while he was a world away, quiet confessions of love to soothe the wound that distance made grow larger — for just a moment, you want it all back. Even the pain. Even the hurt you’d been burying alive for years.

Silence. Once again, he’s left you with static lines as the minutes pass and no new message is received. 

You think you liked it better when he was being inappropriately playful. 

At least then, he was saying something. Now, as he says nothing, you have to resort back to doing your job. You bring up a knee to rest your chin on as you adjust in your home office chair, clicking over to tabs of information on a physically small but well-known venue that had several different capacity options. Ranging from a small room that could hardly fit twenty five people to a rooftop set up with the ability to entertain several hundred people. Something about it had felt very Eddie to you; reclusive, with opportunity for an afterparty. Some odd mixture of who you once knew and who you’d seen flashes of through headlines and brief encounters. You hadn’t been given many guidelines from Matt to go off of, and when you’d questioned capacity size, he’d only brushed it off.

Just something smaller than the venues they play on tour.

Would Eddie even want this small of a venue? Looking over the venue’s website, you catch sight of the approximate occupancy limit for the “largest” stage room — 750 standing. What was Corroded Coffin’s new normal? Once upon a time, you were amongst a crowd that couldn’t even break double digits. But now, a show like this might sell out for them in five minutes flat. Hell, they could probably even sell out a thousand person capacity room. 

A ding sounds to signify a new email. 

For a second, you’re nonsensically relieved when you see it’s from Eddie. You find yourself blindly hopeful for a continuation of banter, another message solely trying to get on your nerves – something to satiate that stubborn need to slip back into old habits, even if for only just today. 

It’s not. It’s a stale list of requests. Sent to your work email, this time.

No sight of his playfulness between the words. No beckoning of him taunting you, teasing you, whispering for you to just give in and play pretend with him one last time. 

It’s probably for the best. 

—

Have Mondays always been this hectic? 

Week two of working on Corroded Coffin’s album release was starting off very differently from the first week. It seemed every corner you turned, you were faced with a new challenge that only made the headache behind your temples pound more relentlessly. Denial from venues, cold calls being forwarded to voicemail when you’d reach out to vendors, and Matt being impossibly busy with the band to get back to any of your emails in a timely manner. 

If you had to hear one more venue representative turn down your business proposition with a “Sorry, but we’ve heard about Eddie’s reputation…”, you might make a detour to go jump off the Empire State Building. 

Had he really been that awful to venue properties? 

“You look stressed,” Romina notes when you hang up on your third unsuccessful call of the day, slamming the phone down more violently than you should. 

“Who, me?” you bitterly reply, looking over your shoulder to where she leans in her chair, turned entirely from her desk to watch you with gentle amusement, “Never. I have never been stressed a day in my life.” 

She quirks an eyebrow, “And before this new secret project of yours, I would have agreed.” 

“Every venue is shooting me down.”

“It happens,” you yearn to feel the nonchalance that flows through the shrug of her shoulders, as if she’s now the one without a worry in the world, “Are they giving reasons?” 

You open your mouth, but your tongue stops short. Because yes, they were each giving the same resounding, completely valid reason. But to admit this is to inform Romina what your secret project really is – something that a certain NDA strictly prohibits for the time being. 

“Conflict of schedules,” you tightly lie as your glare diverts to your computer screen, still open on a mostly empty inbox. 

Eddie hadn’t emailed you since last week. 

Somewhere amongst your frustration, there was a sore disappointment lying in patient wait. You have not a single doubt that once the storm of the task at hand passes, once you finally secure a venue, that you’ll be forced to deal with it. But for now, a boy not emailing you after being so insistent for your personal contact was the least of your worries. 

Romina’s voice draws you back in, “Really? How far out are you trying to book for?”

“Three months.” 

The squeak of her chair pauses abruptly. Your eyes shift and you catch the way all her mindless swaying has ceased, mouth flat with eyes widened in disbelief. 

“Three months?”

“What?” you finally spin your chair to face her, playing off nonchalance. You know why she’s reacting so dramatically, “Should I not be booking that far in advan-”

“I- No, no. You absolutely should be. It should actually be making it easier to book,” she leans forward in her seat, squinting at you, “Is that really the only reason they’re giving?” 

You get it. Because she’s right; giving such fair notice should be making your job easier. But you can’t defend yourself and explain how the client you’re representing is the real issue. 

“Yeah,” you force a forlorn sigh.

“Jesus,” she whistles out, “Well, that’s just… Fuck. I’m sorry, babe. That’s rough. What types of venues are you even trying for? Wait - didn’t you say you were arranging for a grand opening of a bakery? Wouldn’t they already have their shop set up-”

“Hello ladies.” 

Thank fucking God for Lydia. 

“Lydia!” you sit up just a little bit straighter, nearly leaping out of your seat with relief as your boss approaches. You knew exactly where Romina’s train of thought was heading, and you wouldn’t have been able to come up with a single pitiful excuse to keep up with your little white lie, “How are you today?” 

Romina is still perched in her chair with a confused look, but Lydia doesn’t even glance her way, looking just as concerned as she looks down at you, “I’m… fine. There’s a client for you in the conference room.” 

Straight to the point. Except, you didn’t have a meeting scheduled today. 

“A client?” you echo, shrinking down a bit. You only have one client, technically, at this moment, “I didn’t have anything on my calendar.” 

“Apparently, they were just on this side of town. Said you’d left a few voicemails and he thought it’d be easier to just pop in to discuss things.” 

It had to be Matt. He must have gotten one of your frantic voicemails you’d left over the weekend, the ones you’d instantly regretted and worried had lacked in professionalism. 

It has to be Matt. 

“Oh,” Romina’s eyes are burning holes in the back of your chair as you fumble to lock your computer screen, scrambling to gather anything you might need. The notebook you’d been using to keep track of the entire ordeal crinkles slightly in your grip, “Yeah, of course, that- I’ll go straight there. Are they in one of the smaller conference rooms or the-”

“The main one,” Lydia interrupts you, and her tone makes you pause. 

She sounds as if Matt’s arrival is the largest inconvenience she had experienced in the last month. 

Why would Matt popping in to talk to me be such a big deal? 

She’s clearly not in the mood for questions, so you only nod as you stand up, “Got it.”

And then she’s gone. No interest in joining you, or to question what could be going wrong. No sign of involvement like the day you’d originally met with the band and Matt to sign all documentation. 

Your gut twists in knots that not even boy scout’s have discovered yet. 

And they only worsen when Romina calls after your retreating figure, “Good luck with your baker!” 

You’re kind of fucked. It’s clear she’s no longer buying into your lie of your client, and the thought of facing her after Matt is nausea-inducing. What if you just came clean? Would they sue you for telling Romina? Would Romina tell anyone else if you confided in her? Your thoughts race with question after question as you quickly make your way through the maze of cubicles, taking lefts and rights far too fast as you worry about making Matt wait much longer. 

It was just stupid. Because amongst the questions, one rings out that’s insane enough to make the rest of them actually sound reasonable.

If you did manage to fuck this up in any way, would Eddie protect you?

Whether it be because you couldn’t complete the task at hand that was beginning to look impossible, or if it was because you couldn’t keep your mouth shut, would he defend you? 

You’d figured you’d lost his servitude and protection long ago, back when you’d first left that apartment and ignored every attempt at contact. But if it came down to it, would he offer you one last privilege of his defense? Probably not. Which — fair enough. You hadn’t done anything in the last week to have already earned that back. You hadn’t wanted to earn that privilege back, either. No matter how badly you found yourself wanting a new email from him in your inbox, there was a clear line in the sand drawn by your own stick, and you had to stay to your side of it. 

You were a big girl. You could handle it.

Just as you finally approach the conference room, eyes trained to the ground and brows tightly furrowed in careful consideration (definitely not frustration, because the thought of Eddie surely couldn’t frustrate you), you make a fatal mistake. It’s a small detail you’d never paid much mind to prior — a stain on the carpet just outside the doorway, subtle yet large once the shadowy shifting of the carpet’s color caught your eyes. You’re so busy letting your eyes trail the perimeter of it, trying to focus on the threaded shades rather than the shade of Eddie’s dark eyes in the hallway the week before, that you aren’t prepared when the toe of your shoe catches against the said carpet. 

You should have ate shit, to put it plainly.

One quick fumble, and you’re flying forward, hardly thinking as you throw out your hands to brace for impact. Foolish, considering the fall would have left you with severely aching wrists, or a bruised face. But it never arrives. 

Large hands suddenly appear to grab you, catching you halfway through the sudden fall, and the unfamiliar cologne that’s plagued your waking thoughts for a week now overtakes your senses. 

You thought it was Matt waiting for you.

“Woah!” his voice echoes easily in the empty hallway, “Shit, are you okay?”

You swore it was Matt waiting for you. 

“Fine,” you strangle out, pulling away from that touch as quickly as possible. Like he’s burned you. Like those hands that once knew you all too well held your entire demise in their palms.

 And they might. 

It wasn’t Matt waiting for you.

Eddie doesn’t seem shocked by your retreat, only watching with a blank face as you regain your balance on your own and avoid eye contact. He looks nice – a leather jacket too shiny to be the one he wore when you wore together, a faded band t-shirt beneath you can’t fully see the logo of but know was bought that distressed just for looks due to the familiar unfamiliarity that has begun to cloud around the man you once knew, heavy boots planted right on the stain in the carpet that had distracted you. 

“What did you even trip on?” he finally questions, looking curiously behind you as he retraces your path, “Was it-”

“Air,” you cut him off, “Save me the embarrassment, but I tripped on air.” 

If you had half a mind, you would have interrupted with something more useful. Maybe demanded to know why he was here in your office. Questioned his intentions of showing up unannounced. Asked why he never emailed again. 

Okay, maybe not that last one. 

He lets out a short chuckle, more a breath than anything else as his face finally cracks and he almost grins, “I see. To be fair, it’s an easy thing to trip on. Very hard to see. Almost as if it’s invisible.” 

He gauges your reaction, but you don’t let yourself so much as smile at his awkward attempt at a joke. 

You can’t. You can’t casually joke with him, you can’t laugh and pretend like there isn’t an elephant sitting on your chest every time you occupy the same space as him. There’s no magic eraser to everything between you two; no amount of emails, no amount of bad jokes that can vanish all that has transpired. Your past and the carpet, it seems, have something in common.

Never thought you’d say that about the ugly threads you only look at to disassociate during particularly long days. 

“What are you doing here?” you finally whisper out the right question, and internally cringe as your mouth keeps moving only to tack on a completely unnecessary addition of, “I didn’t receive any emails about a meeting-”

“Matt sent me,” Eddie shrugs. You watch the way the leather creases and fits his wide shoulders, catch yourself studying to see if there’s any new muscle beneath the layers to further estrange you further from him, “He’s been stuck in meetings for the album and single, and said you’d left him a few voice mails so… I’m the rescue team, I guess.” 

You finally look him in his eyes, jaw dropping ever so slightly, “You?”

“What about me?”

“You’re my ‘rescue team’?” the words are bitter on your tongue, his presence anything but a relief of rescue, “No offense, but how can you possibly help me?” 

And then he smiles. And, oh Lord, you’ve forgotten how nice of a smile he has. It’s painful – a sharp reminder of the past that you just can’t shake. He’s an old photograph that never quite burns, a stain on your favorite article of clothing you’ll never wear again. For a moment, it doesn’t matter how many parts of him he’s replaced, how many pieces of him have been turned over brand new and unfamiliar, because he looks just like the boy you left behind. A relic you can mourn for once you return to your apartment all alone. A whisper you’ll exchange with your children about someday, as you tell them all about the boy who changed you for the worse. 

“You’d be surprised,” he muses, reaching a hand up to drag over a chin shadowed over in faint facial hair, “Apparently, once you make it big, you have to learn about more things than just how to play an A chord on a guitar or sing in tune. Business, for example. That’s what you’ve been struggling with, yeah? The business aspect of it all?” 

You kind of want to walk away from him. To go and eat shit in a different hallway, on your way to tell Lydia you can’t do this anymore. 

“I’m not struggling,” you snap. 

He’s quick to lift his hands in surrender, “Don’t shoot the messenger. Those were Matt’s words, not mine.”

“Yeah, well, tell Matt I’m fine,” you huff indignantly, “I’m a professional who can handle myself. I can figure this out on my own.” 

You’re turning your back to him, ready to storm off dramatically for your own sanity, when he clears his throat. 

You pause. You don’t turn to look, but you halt mid-step. 

“Humor me, for a second,” he begins, “What exactly are you fully capable of figuring out on your own?” 

“The planning,” you state the obvious, staring at an odd piece of art on the office wall to your left. Not quite turning your head to him, but angling so your voice carries. 

“Yeah, no shit,” his words spark a little more anger, a little more rage, “I mean what part of the planning? You’ve left Matt at least two voicemails. Probably more, if he’s resorted to sending me.” 

More like five. Possibly seven, but you’d indulged in more wine than would be wise to admitting this weekend after receiving your third venue rejection. 

“Maybe he just got tired of babysitting you. Decided to make you someone else’s problem.” 

“Maybe,” Eddie hums, and you can hear his slow footsteps as he slowly walks to block your vision of the abstract artwork. Your gaze is cut off from the silvery lines splattered across a black background and forced upon brown eyes that are more lively than you remember from the previous week, “But I already made the trip all the way down here. Might as well make myself useful to you.” 

He’s still wearing that smile. The one that belongs captured in a polaroid at the back of your closet. The one frozen in a time that was so much simpler than this. 

The kind that leaves a mark – a stain. 

“You want to make yourself useful to me?” you narrow your eyes, straighten your shoulders, prepare for battle, “Then leave. That is the most useful thing you can do for me right now – walk out of this building, and leave me to figure this out without being a pest.” 

Your words should hurt him, but they only seem to fuel him. It’s the exact same reaction you’d imagined on the other side of all the emails. A pep to his step and a perk in his posture that elicits unhinged annoyance from deep within you. 

“No can do,” he smirks, “Sorry, I’m on Matt’s orders to not leave until we figure this out. Together.” 

You don’t care how nice Matt is – you decidedly hate him at this moment. 

“Eddie,” you don’t notice the way his chest catches when you say his name, even in your defiant tone, “I am telling you right now, there is nothing you can do to help.”

And then he takes you off guard, breathing still not quite steady as he breathes out, “Let’s go get coffee.”

“I already told you, I have no interest in getting coffee or lunch with yo-”

“Not like that,” he waves off, finally slipping back into his casual demeanor, “Just- throw me a bone here, Sugar. We don’t even have to talk. You can bring your laptop and phone, focus on work and pretend I don’t exist the entire time. But I have to stick around long enough to get Matt off my ass, and you clearly have been stuck in this stuffy ass building for too long.” 

Sugar.

Your breath catches at the nickname, just as his had when you said his name. 

Shakily, you exhale, “No, I-”

“Funny thing,” he shoves both hands in the pockets of his jeans. Well-fitted, fairly new. No signs of distress like he preferred in his youth. Just starch black that clings to skin you once knew, “I’m not asking. Technically, I’m your boss. And as your boss, I’m instructing you to join me for nothing more than a free coffee and change of scenery. Like I said, it’ll be as if I’m not even there. I’ll keep my mouth shut the entire time – strictly business.” 

You nearly slip up and inform him that it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t talk – if he’s near you, your body always seems to know. Your body, your senses, your soul. Any time he occupies the same room as you, his vicinity lights something in you impossible to ignore. It had been that way since the first day you met him. And would probably continue to be that way until the day you were buried six feet under. 

Even in death, his soul would probably haunt yours. You would never know another day of peace since meeting Eddie Munson. 

“You’re not my boss,” you argue, crossing your arms, “You’re my client. Lydia is my boss.” 

“And would Lydia appreciate you arguing with a client like this?” 

“What do you want from me?”

The question falls from your lips with unexpected weight and exasperation. 

Your arms fall down from your chest just as quickly as they’d risen, the two of you encased in silence as you both realize the implication behind the question. It’s about more than just the coffee, more than just his impromptu visit to your work. It’s the heaviest question you could have asked at this moment; and one that neither of you were ready to hear the answer to quite yet. 

There’s a million unsaid words swirling behind whiskey irises. A hundred and one conversations never had, a thousand and one battles never witnessed on both ends of this war. Something in them whispers you might not be the only one haunted. 

Maybe, just maybe, his soul will only haunt yours for as long as yours haunts his. A haunted house, a ghastly gallery. Two ghosts always meant to hang up parallel to each other in crooked frames, in an empty hallway. 

“Just a coffee,” he whispers, and something in you cracks quietly, “Just one cup of coffee, for now.” 

With all things considered, it’s not asking that much of you. 

You don’t have any fight left in you. Whether he’s here, whether he’s a world away, you’re still destined to be stuck across from him in the damn hallway. Always staring, always drawn. There might not be a single corner of this world far enough away to break whatever thread ties you to the man before you, whether you still know him or not. 

After a pregnant pause, you sigh, “Let me grab my purse.”

With all things considered, he probably should be asking more of you. 

But you’re grateful he isn’t as you retreat and do exactly as promised, not looking Romina in her eyes before you begin your doomsday march for just one cup of coffee. 

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