#⬡ ❛ i'll learn to breathe deep and make peace with the stars. ⸢ about ⸥

[lazyalani]

| Itoshi Sae × [GN!Reader]

| Moments Like This

| Fluff, lots of fluff, short, not proofread, Soft Sae ♥

| Summary: You and Sae lay down on a picnic blanket, thinking about each other.

| Blue Lock Masterlist

| Main Masterlist

You opened your eyes, feeling someone laying down beside you on the picnic blanket.

Sae brushed a hair of your forehead with a finger. "Sleepy?"

You nodded, "A little." You drew circles on his chest.

He hummed. "Want to go back inside?" He asked, staring at your sleepy eyes peeking under your lashes.

You looked back to the tent you both had set up and up to the sky filled with beautiful galaxy colors and bright stars. "Hm, not yet. I wanna stargaze a little longer."

"Hey," You looked back at him, hearing his call.

Sae leaned down a bit and brought his lips to yours, supporting your neck upwards with his left hand.

They're warm, he thought. He grips your waist and settles you laying on him. You laid your head on his chest, fiddling with the ring on his necklace, matching the one on your own.

Your heart warms once more at the sight of it, the symbol of your love. The symbol of his promise. A promise of your future together. He bought matching rings for your birthday a year before.

"Rings.... in a necklace?" You blinked. "Not that I'm complaining, but, why put them in a form of necklaces this time? Is it special because it's my birthday?"

Your boyfriend has given you 8 matching rings, him having the pair of the ones you have, during the years you've been together. All of them have different designs, but none of them were put as necklaces or bracelets.

He makes you hold your hair on one side and put the necklace with the Initial of 'S' on your neck. "That's one of the two reasons." He says.

"What's the other?"

He kisses your nape and you shiver, allowing him to lead you to bed and cuddle, resting you head under his chin. "It was a random thought at first, but I did it anyway. My favorite number is 10, I want to you to have 10 rings from me."

I laughed and booped his nose with your finger. "You're so random sometimes, I love it." He shooked his head and flicked your forehead.

"I also wanted to be romantic. I think I'm no good with words, but my actions could make up for it." He adds.

You laughed more. "You think? Honey, you could make the whole world hate you with just a few words." You teased.

"Should I take the ring back?"

"You wouldn't..."

"Try me."

You narrowed your eyes and rolled them, kissing his cheek. "But really, what's the main reason these rings are special?"

He kissed your forehead. "Because this is the last time I'll give you a ring as my girlfriend."

"Oh? When would be the other two, then?" You had an idea, but you wanted to hear it directly from him.

"The next one would be when I finally ask you to marry me, and the other would be in the church, infront of our friends and families." He says and kisses you.

You smile into the kiss. "I'll be looking forward to that."

Sae stares at your sleeping face, caressing your cheek with his free hand, the other one supporting your back.

You had fallen asleep in deep though, and Sae decided to stay a bit more outside and feel the scenery.

Sae feels comfortable with you, but he feels at peace when he's alone with you. He just got back from Spain and filed for a vacation with you, bringing you for a camping in a mountain where he learned the stars and sky would be seen clearly, just how you like it.

To Sae, you are peace itself. With you, he doesn't hear constant loudness that makes him irritated. With you, he doesn't have to talk to someone he doesn't like. With you, he doesn't have to pretend. With you, he can rest. With you, it's home.

Just having you in his arms is relaxing and calming. The pent up stress in his nerves are releasing as he breathes in the sight of you and your touch.

He carries you carefully back into the tent when he decides to sleep and kisses your forehead for goodnight. Most people say Sae is a hard man to please, that he probably isn't happy when it's not football, but then why is he so pleased beside you right now?

Moments like this make Sae fall even more.

[unknownfacelessfanfictions]

Christmas Bakery

Pairing: Koval x fem! Reader (3rd POV) Fandom: Star Trek Deep Space Nine Words: 1.8K Summary: Koval learns about this so called "Christmas baking" that his wife seems to love A/N: A little sequel to "Romulan Summer". You don't need to read this to understand this one

WINTER WRITING PLAN!!

Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. A page was turned. The occasional beep of a PADD confirming the entered entry as saved and sent.

For the past hour she had been sitting curled up together with a book in her hand in the only chair in Koval's office, apart from the chair in which her husband had been sitting and working for several hours. She had joined him, having grown tired of the emptiness in their room, and since he had promised not to mind, she had made herself comfortable in the soft velvet cushion.

She didn't mind that they hadn't exchanged a word with each other in the past hour. In fact, she enjoyed the silence, something her former self would probably never have thought. In the past, she had always found silence unpleasant, especially when other people were present in the room, and had done everything she could to make that silence disappear. With Koval, however, it seemed different to her. The silence was now no longer heavy and oppressive on her shoulders, but wrapped her much more like a soft, light blanket and made her forget everything around her as long as Koval's steady breathing could still be heard. Of course, she loved to lose herself in quiet conversations as much as heated discussions with Koval, but she had learned to appreciate the silence.

A knock, however, abruptly interrupted the silence and made her look up. Koval, his eyes still fixed on the display of his PADD, barely raised his voice, but the dark humming sound reached behind the thick door and, with his permission, the doors slid aside to reveal Cetax, one of the kitchen staff.

He was still quite young for a Romulan at forty, yet his family had served Koval's family for centuries, so he had already made it very high in his position, organising and leading the kitchen staff. His hair was dark and slightly longer than the military cut she was used to from Koval and his "colleagues", and although his posture was tight and his features seemed like a mask at times, the mischief lived in his dark eyes.

With a quick movement, he bowed. "Forgive the interruption, Dhaemnasi, however your wife asked me to inform her when her order has arrived in the kitchen." At his words, Koval finally looked up from his PADD and raised an eyebrow as she straightened, peaceful calm replaced by anticipation. "Then it's here?" Cetax nodded slightly. "Daie, Ihhei." A delighted squeal escaped her, which she struggled to suppress, clapping her hands enthusiastically before abandoning her book on the table beside the armchair and leaping to her feet.

Koval rose as well. "E'lev, what is Cetax talking about?" She smiled a little sheepishly. "It's winter on Earth right now and I used to do a lot of baking with my family and friends at this time of year. Biscuits, sweets, things like that. It's a tradition and I was hoping to continue it here this year. That's why I had asked Cetax months ago to get me the necessary ingredients." Koval again just raised an eyebrow and tilted his head slightly to the side. "I didn't know you could bake."

She snorted in amusement. "That's because you never let me in the kitchen for fear I'll burn the house down." "I just don't want you to get hurt." She smiled widely, stepped towards him and put a hand to his cheek. Behind her, she heard Cetax shift uneasily from one foot to the other and had to stop her smile from widening. Humans could already be uncomfortable showing tenderness and affection for their mate in front of outsiders. Romulans took this to an even greater extreme, so she dismissed him with a wave of her hand behind her back.

"I know that, darling." Lovingly she caressed his cheek with her hand and for a moment Koval allowed himself to close his eyes. "However, I long for those little things that have been normality for me. I also promise that this time you won't have to call Doctor Onduk." It was meant as a joke, however Koval's face remained serious.

"You could have seriously hurt yourself, e'lev." "I know," she murmured, looking down only to feel his hand run through her hair a moment later. "Promise you'll be more careful this time." She looked up, a slight smile on her lips, and nodded as her fingers traced his. "Promise." Gently, she touched his fingertips to his, bringing back the old familiar feeling of warmth and affection she usually felt when she kissed him in this way. Her smile grew a little bolder. "Unless, of course, you drop your incredibly important work and come with me to make sure the oven doesn't devour me."

She had joked, assuming that Koval would roll his eyes in amusement and let her go to the kitchen. Instead, he considered for a moment, switched off his PADD and quickly brought her hand to his mouth to press a kiss to its back. "By all means, lead the way, Ihhei." Her eyes widened. "Really? You would really stand in the kitchen with me and bake?" Koval smiled slightly, amused, and put a hand on her hip, pulling her close enough to feel his hot breath on her neck and whisper in her ear. "You don't think you're the only one with hidden talents, e'lev. Besides, I'm the only one who gets to devour you."

She grinned at him, blushing though, and turned to place a hand on his chest. "Oh, I know you have many talents, husband. Anything else would have been rather disappointing from the Chairman of the Tal'Shiar, don't you think?" Chuckling, she pressed a light kiss to his lips before taking his hand, careful not to look too scandalous to the servants, and pulled him after her to the kitchen.

Once there, they found that Cetax had already ordered all the kitchen staff to clear the kitchen so they could have their peace. Clever man. With great interest, she began to unpack the contents of the large box that stood on the kitchen island and examine it for imperfections and damage, only to find with satisfaction that everything was in tact. Koval had stayed in the background the entire time, quietly watching her as she inspected the ingredients. Only when she had finished did he detach himself from the shadows, as he often did, and step up beside her, a thin smile on his lips and an eyebrow raised. "And how do we proceed, Chef?" She looked up at him and slapped him gently and jokingly against the arm. "Like any good cook starts. Wash your hands." "Ssuaj-ha, Rekkhai."

Laughing, she pushed him to the sink where, under her watchful eye, he cleaned his hands, perhaps a little more thoroughly than necessary, only to step aside and ask her to go to the sink. She quickly washed her hands in contrast, knowing full well that hands had a very different meaning in Romulan culture than in human, and wanting Koval to stay on task, she then hurried to the kitchen cupboard from which she had taken out two beige kitchen aprons. She tied one around herself and threw the other to Koval, who caught it with equal ease and scepticism. "Really? Is that really necessary?"

She just grinned and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Yes. It will protect your clothes and besides, you'll look wonderful in it." Without giving him another look, she turned to the ingredients. She decided to start with the basic starter biscuits, which were plain and simple, but unbelievably delicious. She quickly gathered the ingredients and placed them on the work surface. Koval had meanwhile stepped next to her, she had been right, he looked wonderful in an apron, and was looking intently at the ingredients in front of them when his gaze caught on something. "What purpose does this serve?"

Confused, he held several biscuit cutters in the air, which came in a variety of shapes, and she chortled softly. "We won't need these until later. They're for cutting out the dough to give the biscuits a shape." Koval meanwhile inspected a cookie cutter in the shape of a reindeer. " I didn't realise a circle wasn't enough." Smiling, she rolled her eyes and took the biscuit cutter from him. "They do taste the same in each shape, however, it does add a certain sense of ... festivity." "I see." He sounded unimpressed, however she hadn't expected more from him. "Why don't you go and get a bowl, the whisk and the scales from the cupboard, will you?"

Koval complied with her request, though he again seemed sceptical. "We have new-fangled technologies. Why use the old ones when the new ones are better and more precise." Sighing, she took the whisk from his hand and waved it under his nose. "Because otherwise it won't feel like winter and Christmas." After that, her husband remained silent and together they weighed the ingredients they needed and added them to the large bowl. However, when it came to mixing, Koval insisted on doing the work, justifying it by saying that he was stronger and had more stamina and so would finish the job faster. He did not want to hear her protest that it was not about speed but about feeling.

Koval was right and a few moments later the yellowish dough lay rolled out and ready to be cut out in front of them. Although Koval's scepticism was clearly written on his face, every now and then, when he thought she wasn't looking, she caught him with an amused smile spreading across his lips as he stabbed the cookie cutter into the dough and produced little fir trees, Santas and candy canes.

Gingerly, she slid the tray with the finished cut-out biscuits into the oven, quickly closed the door and then turned to Koval. "So, was that so bad now?" The corners of Koval's mouth twitched, he stepped towards her and put his hands on her hips. "It was ... acceptable." Outraged and amused at the same time, she braced her hands on her hips. "Acceptable? How can you ...." With her hand she reached for some leftover flour and before Koval could react she had already smeared it over his face and was on the run, laughing as she ran out of the kitchen.

For a few seconds, Koval stood dumbfounded in the kitchen, gazing after his wife, before an almost devilish smile crept onto his lips and he stood up, eyes wide with amusement, before following after her.

Needless to say, it was ultimately Cetax's job to keep the biscuits from burning and to clean up the kitchen and get everything ready for decorating, albeit with a small smile on his face. Which was perhaps due to the fact that one biscuit had mysteriously disappeared at the end.

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Dhaemnasi - Adress fort the Chairman oft the Tal’Shiar Daie – yes (inferior to superior) Ihhei – madame E’lev – darling Ssuaj-ha – Understood (formal/military use, inferior to superior) Rekkhai – ma’am / sir (in galea [military])

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@bigblissandlove1 @akamitrani

[liviacardew]

leonidas ravinstill (claude)

(i've been thinking about him lately so here's this post)

~

And I'll learn to breathe deep And make peace with the stars

~

leonidas claude headcanons:

his nickname is leo, but he only lets his close family members and her call him that.

out of all his cousins, he's closest to aelia. she likes to give him advice about all kinds of stuff, and he'll always take it. they're sort of like coryo and tigris in part one and two. (no betrayal!!)

he has a knack for writing, kind of like felix in @meekmedea's headcanons. he'd write all about her all day long.

he has trouble controlling his emotions; which is why pres. ravinstill sent him to therapy. (he actually sent 4/6 of his great-grandnephews and nieces to therapy due to their 'issues' partially caused by him)

he resents his oldest cousin, adonis. leo knows adonis wants to be exactly like pres. ravinstill. leo hates pres. ravinstill and he resents adonis.

[dndfantasygirl]

Amongst the Stars (Chapter 6: Panther of the Night)

Rating: Mature Word count: 3.6k Pairing: Astarion x Female Tav (named)/OC Tags/Warnings: violence, strong language, innuendo, slow burn, little sister, Gur encounter, Astarion's past

Summary: Astarion's hunt is interrupted when the little wisp of his nice, simple plan wanders off on her own at night.

*Link to AO3 Post

*Link to Previous Chapter

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The gravel of the path shifted under Misty's feet as she shuffled toward the hag's lair. She couldn't believe her sister. They had argued again as the younger air genasi was put to bed. Instead of just staying at camp, Skye insisted that Gale and Wyll would stay behind as well to teach her magic. Misty didn't want to be a druid; she didn't want to learn magic. She was bad at it. She just wanted to use her bow in battle. That was where her strengths lay, where she belonged. But Skye was insistent. Her words were final as she stormed out of the tent. However, the younger genasi was determined to prove her worth. She would confront the hag herself and save Mayrina alone.

Before crossing a broken bridge over a small stream, Misty blinked. Within moments, the beautiful scenery around her faded, turning into a disgusting swamp. A chill ran down her spine. The young genasi took a deep breath and continued down the path, unaware of a pair of crimson eyes watching her.

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All Astarion wanted was a peaceful meal, perhaps a boar crossing his path. But, as always, something interrupted him. This time, it was the younger sister of his nice, simple plan. Their little rambunctious group would be his death. Maybe trying to get Skye's protection wasn't the smartest idea after all. Yet, it was the only plan he had, so he followed the little wisp.

"Oh, no, no, no. You stupid girl," Astarion muttered, peering from behind a tree as he watched the young girl enter the swamp. As soon as he knew she wouldn't see him, he emerged from hiding and followed her silently.

Her eyes found a single flickering light above a hill. She tilted her head in curiosity and approached it. Astarion facepalmed and continued to follow. Then he smelled that familiar, pungent scent. Gur. His lips curled into a snarl as he moved closer.

"Forgive the aroma, little one," a man said as Misty plugged her nose.

Astarion studied him over. He was definitely Gur. He'd recognize those rugged looks anywhere. They were the reason he was beaten to death's door after all. The reason he'd stupidly accepted Cazador's offer to 'help'.

"Powdered iron-vine. Most monsters will think twice before making a meal out of me," the man announced proudly. He knelt to the girl's level. "Where are your parents?"

"Dead to me," Misty spat, crossing her arms in front of her. The man's eyes widened in shock at her words but didn't press further.

"That's quite the statement for someone so young," the man finally said, trying to mask his surprise with a thin smile. "But you're out here all alone? It's dangerous." All Misty could do was glare daggers at him.

"You smell of fey blood. Have you met the hag?" he tried changing the subject, obviously caught off guard by Misty's unsettling maturity.

She continued to glare at him. "Yeah. I'm here to kill her."

The man's eyebrows shot up. "Perhaps that isn't the wisest idea." He offered her an encouraging smile as he placed a hand on her shoulder. "You're determined, I'll give you that one."

Astarion, watching from the shadows, rolled his eyes. He knew the type. The Gur were always quick with their wisdom and quicker to judge. Yet, there was something unsettling about this man. Something that set his instincts on edge.

Misty squinted a bit as she assessed him. "What are you doing near her hut?"

"I'm hoping to seek her assistance in my hunt," the man replied, his eyes darting towards the dense shadows of the swamp.

"You're a monster hunter?" The young girl cocked her head curiously, her gaze sharpening. "What monsters are you hunting?"

Before the man could respond, Astarion's stealthy approach was betrayed by the snap of a twig beneath his foot. The man's instincts kicked in immediately. With a swift motion, he pulled Misty behind him, his protective stance unwavering. His other hand drew a crossbow, aiming it directly at Astarion.

"This one here," the man said firmly, his eyes narrowing with determination. "I need to capture him. Now, stay behind me."

Misty's eyes widened as she peered around the man's arm, catching sight of Astarion emerging from the shadows. "What?" She tried to tug her arm away, but the man's grip was ironclad. "Let go of me! He's a friend, not a monster!"

"Let the girl go, Gur," Astarion snarled from the edge of the hill, his voice a cold, dangerous whisper. His instincts urged him to kill the man, to end the threat immediately, but his gaze shifted to Misty. What would happen to her if he acted rashly? He didn't trust him. He didn't believe his intentions were pure. He might as well hold a dagger to her throat if Astarion so much as moved too quickly.

"You're mad if you think I'd let another child be taken by your kind," the man retorted, his face set in grim determination. As he spoke, he began an incantation, his hand moving in intricate patterns as he infused the crossbow bolt with searing flames. With a practiced flick, he pulled the trigger.

The bolt arced through the air, its fiery tail streaking toward Astarion. With lightning reflexes, the vampire spawn leaped to the side, narrowly avoiding the blazing projectile. He watched through the flames as the man maneuvered Misty away from him.

"Run, get out of here," the man whispered urgently to her, his voice barely audible over the crackling of the fire. The intensity in his eyes made it clear that he meant every word. But Misty didn't listen.

Astarion's lip curled in frustration as he watched the man attempt to guide Misty away. He knew he had to act quickly. With a fluid motion, he unsheathed his daggers, their blades catching the firelight with a menacing gleam. Ignoring the intense heat that licked at his skin, he leaped through the flames, his focus unshaken.

He landed gracefully on the other side of the fire, his eyes locked on the Gur, who had spun around to face him once more.

"He's not bad! Leave him alone!" Misty shouted desperately, her voice cutting through the chaos.

But before the man could respond, he fired another bolt from his crossbow. This time, the projectile didn't seek Astarion directly. Instead, it plunged into the ground at his feet. From the bolt, thorny vines erupted with alarming speed. They coiled and twisted, their barbed tendrils snaking around Astarion's limbs.

Astarion's eyes widened in surprise as the vines ensnared him, their grip tightening with each movement. He struggled to free himself, his daggers clattering to the ground as the vines pressed down with relentless force. The more he fought, the more the vines seemed to constrict, their strength growing with his resistance.

Fearing for her companion's life, Misty drew an arrow back, her hands trembling slightly as she aimed at the Gur. With a swift release, the arrow flew through the air and struck the man in the back with a sharp thud. He groaned in pain, the impact causing him to stagger slightly.

Misty's eyes blazed with defiance as she notched another arrow, her voice a fierce growl. "I said, leave him alone," she demanded through gritted teeth, her stance resolute.

The Gur raised his hands in a defensive gesture, another groan escaping him as he struggled to maintain his composure. "Listen to me, little one. I don't know who you think this man is, but he is dangerous."

"You attacked him!" Misty shouted back. Her grip on the bowstring began to loosen slightly.

The man, seemingly undeterred by her resistance, suddenly whistled a sharp, commanding note. The sound echoed through the swamp, and moments later, a large boar burst through the underbrush, its eyes gleaming with aggression. The Gur pointed at Misty, and the boar charged toward her, its tusks gleaming dangerously.

"Bastard!" Astarion shouted from the vines. He continued to struggle against the magical bindings, the vines continuing to constrict with every futile effort.

The boar barreled into Misty, its bulk and strength forcing her to stumble backward. She fought to maintain her balance, her bow slipping from her grip as the beast's powerful hooves and tusks pressed her against the swamp's muddy ground. Her vision blurred with the struggle, but she managed to raise her head just enough to see the Gur's grim expression.

"Stop!" she cried out, her voice cracking with desperation. "He's not what you think!"

"He has charmed you. Please forgive me, but I have orders," the Gur said as he approached Astarion slowly. His movements were deliberate, his gaze fixed on the vampire spawn bound by the thorny vines.

The air was thick with tension as the Gur inched closer, his crossbow still clutched in one hand, now aimed cautiously at Astarion. He was almost within reach of him when a low, menacing growl cut through the oppressive silence. The Gur's head snapped around, his eyes widening in surprise. From the shadows of the swamp emerged a large panther with fur as soft and deep as the night sky, flecked with sapphire highlights that shimmered in the dim light. The beast's eyes glowed with a predatory intensity, its powerful muscles rippling under its sleek coat.

The panther leaped with a ferocious grace, its claws extended and its fangs bared. The Gur barely had time to react before the panther's impact sent him crashing to the ground. He grunted in pain and surprise as the panther's weight and force knocked him off balance, pinning him beneath its massive form.

The panther's growl was a low, throaty rumble as it pressed its full weight against him, its sharp claws digging into his shoulders and its hot breath fanning across his face. His crossbow clattered to the ground as he struggled to push the panther away.

The boar finally released its grip on Misty and staggered back, its defensive posture shifting as it sensed the danger to its companion. This crucial distraction allowed Misty to regain her footing. Her hands, still trembling from the struggle, quickly found her bow. She notched two arrows and drew back the string. She aimed carefully, her breath steadying as she released the arrows. They struck the boar, piercing its thick hide and sending it crashing to the ground in a lifeless heap.

The magical vines around Astarion began to slacken. He seized the opportunity to break free, his limbs moving with a fluid grace as he extricated himself from the thorny binds. As he stood up, his gaze was locked on the chaotic scene unfolding before him.

The panther, its sapphire fur gleaming ominously in the flickering light, had pounced on the Gur with a ferocity that left Astarion both horrified and mesmerized. The Gur's desperate cries were drowned out by the panther's relentless assault. The beast's powerful jaws and claws were a blur of motion as it tore through the man with terrifying efficiency.

Astarion's attention shifted to Misty, who was making her way toward the panther. "Wisp, stay back. We don't know if it will attack us," he cautioned, his voice laced with urgency as he bent down to retrieve his daggers from the ground. The panther's golden eyes met his with an intense gaze that stirred something deep within him. There was an inexplicable familiarity to those eyes.

Ignoring Astarion's warning, Misty closed the distance between herself and the panther. Her movements were slow and deliberate, her hands reaching out to the fierce creature. "We're safe," she reassured, her touch gentle against the beast's sleek fur.

Astarion's confusion deepened as he watched the scene unfold. His grip on his daggers tightened, his brows furrowing as the pieces of the puzzle began to fall into place. The panther's form shimmered, and in an astonishing transformation, Misty's sister emerged from the beast's body. She was on all fours, her breath coming in ragged gasps as she shifted back to her natural form.

The transformation left Skye visibly shaken. She looked down at the eviscerated body of the Gur, her face contorted in horror. Her eyes darted around, taking in the brutal aftermath of the battle. Her face twisted with a mixture of greenish nausea and a flush of anger as she whirled around to confront Misty. "What did I tell you?" she demanded, her voice tight with frustration.

Astarion, having sheathed his daggers, observed the tense exchange with a detached curiosity. He leaned against a nearby tree, his expression inscrutable, as he watched the siblings' emotional confrontation unfold.

"You could've gotten yourself or Astarion killed! Do you have any idea how reckless you were? You're lucky I can tell when you're up to something." Her voice cracked slightly under the strain of her worry and irritation. "Don't you ever go off on your own again!"

Misty's expression was defiant, her jaw set stubbornly as she glared back at her older sister. "I was handling myself just fine!" she retorted. "I didn't need anyone to come and save me."

Skye's frustration reached a boiling point. "You were pinned by a boar and Astarion was tangled in a web of vines!" Her voice rose with each word, emphasizing the danger of the situation. "It wasn't exactly 'handling yourself.' You were in serious trouble!"

Misty's face reddened in embarrassment. She crossed her arms, her stance defensive. "I killed the boar," she muttered under her breath.

Skye's gesture was decisive, her arm outstretched toward the winding path that led back to camp. "We're leaving. Now," she said, her voice brooking no argument. The authority in her tone was unmistakable, carrying a weight that made it clear that any further discussion was futile.

The wisp shot her sister one last, fiery glare, her frustration still evident in the set of her jaw and the fire in her eyes. But the stubborn defiance gradually gave way to resignation. With a deep, frustrated sigh, she slouched her shoulders and began trudging down the path.

Astarion and Skye followed from a distance in silence, their footsteps muffled by the damp earth beneath them. The soft rustle of the forest and the occasional croak of swamp creatures created a backdrop to their quiet, each lost in their own thoughts. The moonlight filtered through the canopy, casting faint patterns on the path ahead.

After a few moments, Astarion broke the silence. "I must say, that was incredible, darling. I was very impressed. I'm surprised you don't do that more often." His playful smirk was genuine, but it faltered as he noticed Skye's vacant stare, her eyes fixed ahead with a distant, unseeing gaze.

The vampire spawn's expression shifted to one of concern as he observed her reaction. "Are you alright?"

Skye's response was almost inaudible, her words barely carrying over the soft sounds of the night. "I hate it," she muttered.

"You hate what?" He pressed gently.

The air genasi's shoulders seemed to sag slightly as she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper. "Transforming," she admitted, her eyes still fixed on some distant point. "I feel like I lose control. I become something I'm not. Instinct takes over all sense of logic. I become a monster."

Astarion's eyes widened slightly, his usual playful demeanor giving way to an awkward, sincere empathy. He wasn't accustomed to dealing with such personal revelations, especially those that stirred emotions he preferred to keep at arm's length. "I see," he said, struggling to find the right words. "I didn't realize it was so… unsettling for you."

Skye's face remained a mask of contemplation, her gaze still fixed on the dimly lit path. "It's terrifying. When I'm in that form, I feel like I lose myself. I'm not just me anymore. I'm something wild, something untamed."

"I suppose that makes sense. Losing control…" He paused, looking for something to say.

Skye's lips tightened into a thin line as she shook her head slightly. "It's not just about control in the moment. It's about what I become. It's about the fear of what I might do when I'm not myself." She ran her hands over her face. "Did you see what I did to that man? That's what I do when I'm in that form, Astarion. What if I did that to Misty? What if I did that to you?"

"Well, I mean he did deserve it," Astarion tried once more to inject some levity into the conversation. However, his attempt at humor was met with a cold, piercing stare from Skye. The playful smirk he wore faltered, and he rubbed his neck awkwardly as they continued their walk.

A few moments later, a loud sigh escaped from Skye, her frustration evident. "What did that man want to capture you for, anyway? What did you do to warrant such a response?"

Astarion's defensiveness was palpable as he exhaled heavily. "I didn't do anything," he said, his tone sharper than intended. "I was kidnapped, just like you were. It seems Cazador wants me back."

The mention of Cazador made Skye come to an abrupt halt. She turned to face him fully, her gaze locking onto his crimson eyes with a serious intensity. "You're sure he's behind this?"

"It was him. I'm sure of it," Astarion said with a note of conviction, his brows furrowing deeply as he spoke. "Only he would know to send the Gur after me. It was a group of Gur that attacked me that night in Baldur's Gate. I would have died had Cazador not appeared and saved me."

Skye shook her head slowly, crossing her arms tightly over her chest. "Saved you? By making you his slave? That's hardly the sort of 'rescue' anyone should aspire to."

Astarion shifted his weight, placing a hand on his hip and leaning slightly to the side. "Well, he didn't mention the slave clause at the time."

The air genasi cocked her head to the side. She released another heavy sigh, her eyes reflecting the strain of trying to make sense of the unfolding situation.

"And now he sends a Gur monster hunter after me," Astarion said aloud, his voice tinged with a weary resignation. He met Skye's concerned gaze, the weight of his words settling heavily between them. "It's a message. Cazador is reminding me of his power. Even in the middle of nowhere, he can reach me. He wants me back, and he's showing just how far his influence extends."

Skye's hands moved to her temples as she tried to piece together the fragments of information. Her brows knitted together in deep concentration. "But why capture you? Why not just kill you outright? If he has the means to send a Gur monster hunter, he certainly has the means to ensure your death."

The vampire spawn hummed thoughtfully, the sound reflecting his deep contemplation. "Maybe he's trying to make an example of me," he mused. "Perhaps he wants to show what happens to those who try to escape his grasp. Or maybe—just maybe—he thinks that death is too good for me."

"He won't get you. You'll never be a slave again. We'll keep you safe—"

Astarion's bitter laugh cut her off abruptly, a harsh sound that contrasted sharply with her hopeful tone. His face darkened, his eyes reflecting a deep, unsettling gravity. "Safe? You think you can keep me safe? Do you have any idea of the power a vampire lord possesses?"

Skye blinked, taken aback by his sudden shift in tone. Her gaze fell to the ground.

"He can change shape, turn into mist; he can summon wolves to do his bidding; shrug off blows like they're nothing. Cazador could walk into this camp tonight and kill you with his bare hands, and you'd be lucky if death were the worst thing that happened to you."

"Okay, so what can we do?" Skye asked, hugging herself tightly as a gust of wind swept through the clearing, chilling her to the bone.

Astarion glanced around, his eyes searching for any semblance of a plan amidst the growing sense of urgency. "First, we have to—uh…" He trailed off, meeting Skye's unwavering gaze. The intensity in her eyes seemed to demand a concrete answer, and he struggled to formulate one. "I don't know. If we kill his lackeys, he'll just send more. We just have to be vigilant. Keep our wits about us. And kill any monster hunters in sight."

Skye nodded with a sigh. "Well, if I can't keep you safe, then I'll die trying." With her words, she turned sharply on her heel, making her way toward the camp with a determined stride.

The sudden shift in her demeanor left Astarion momentarily speechless, his mind racing to catch up with the gravity of her words. He watched as she moved away, her silhouette merging with the darkness as she rejoined her sister.

Astarion stood alone for a moment, the night's chill now cutting through him more sharply than before. The campfire's flickering light beckoned, but the shadows of doubt and danger loomed larger in his mind. Skye's fierce declaration resonated with him. Her willingness to risk everything for his safety was both humbling and disquieting.

Taking a deep breath, the vampire spawn forced himself to focus. With a final glance toward the darkened forest, he turned and followed Skye and Misty back to the camp.

[suau-raised-by-corrupted-gems]

SU AU: My way

"She WHAT!?"

The shrill squawk of an especially large mutant macaw sounded through the woodlands, startling a flock of birds out of their roosting spots in the trees and caused a few deer to scatter for cover.

"She did-- but you--! Why would--!?" Centi's mane bristled as her shock as everything she had heard sank in. She already had a bad feeling about those star-bearing bounty hunters, but the information she was given was just too much to bear. "H.... H-How could she!?" In an instant, her shock replaced itself with fury.

"Th-They know you’re part human, yes? A-And their whole thing is to protect them! How dare they subject you to that... that TORTURE!" Centi snapped furiously, her maw already dripping with acidic substance in thick globs.

"I knew those guys were bogus already, but this is BEYOND MESSED UP!!" Tri-T snarled furiously, treading her talons across the dirt, leaving deep claw marks in the ground. "We should've trashed them when we had the chance!"

Lil Quartz shrank, biting his lip at his aunt Centi's outburst. He knew telling his aunts, typically aunt Centi, about his Crystal Gem experiences wouldn't be simple, but he didn't think think that they'd react this terribly.

"I- uh--" He tired to speak, but the angered roars of his enraged aunts spoke over him.

"They WON'T get away with this! We will make them pay!" Centi seethed, her pincers snapping involuntarily.

She started bouncing from foot to foot, practically foaming at the mouth in rage. "GAH! When I get my talons on that good-for-nothing twig of a gem--!"

"Calm down, both of you." Came Fluffy's stern voice, breaking the two gems out of their furious banter. "Before we go and make any rash decisions, we should at least let him finish."

The two gems calmed down, with Centi fiddling her hands together and Tri-T murmuring in her throat.

"Y-Yeah! I-It's not all bad..." He glanced up at his fluffy mother, with a thankful smile before continuing. "Because at least I got to learn more about myself! Like my dad, my ukulele skills..." he trailed off, feeling hesitant. "...my... um..." He looked up at fluffy, as if asking if it was okay for him to say it, in which she nodded her head once with a gentle smile. He nodded back and stated with a subtle bitterness; "...My birth mom."

The two gems exchanged concerned glances between each other.

"...B-Birth mother?" Centi repeated with uncertainty. "You mean...?"

"Rose Quartz... yeah." Lil Quartz confirmed, with a soft, tired sigh. "There's just.... so much to her I don't know. I mean, not even her own teammates know all the things to her. And... I don't think I'll ever be able to rest if I don't know her full story..."

The two gems remained quiet, with Centi somewhat sensing the direction he was taking, while Tri-T remained confused.

Lil Quartz took a deep breath. "I... I need to know who she was! Who she truly was!" His voice took on a desperate edge as he clutched at the yellow star on his shirt. "That Pearl's reaction to me finding that sword in that lion's mane... She said she was one of Rose's oldest subordinates!" He started to breathe heavily as the memories of that day flooded his mind, and a mix of rage and despair flooded his mind. "And the fact she didn't even know about the lion--!"

Lil Quartz paused as he felt Fluffy lightly nuzzle the top of his head, and her warm breath instantly soothed the cold dread that was beginning to spread through him. He drew in a deep, shaky breath, steadying himself before continuing his explanation.

"Bottomline... we'll never be able to live in peace with Rose being so... obscure." He crossed his arms. "I know there was more to her than she let on. And I want to know what other secrets she could be holding."

The two gems exchanged a look between each other worriedly.

"But... how are we gonna do that?" Tri-T asked. "Didn't she lead those Crystal Gems? So... do we--?"

"No." Lil Quartz was quick to interject, breaking away from the group to walk upto the roosting pink lion. "Not yet at least. He can help us with starting."

Centi and Tri-T stared at the Pink big cat with uncertainty.

"Er... How?" Centi asked.

"One thing..." Taking a deep breath, Lil Quartz dunked his head into the lion's thick pink mane, and much to the corrupted pack's shock, he sank into it completely. After a few seconds, a medium sized chest is tossed out of his mane, startling the three gems before Lil Quartz poked his head out, taking a deep breath. "See? His mane is kind of like a pocket dimension." He smiled slightly. "And he has the ability to make portals using his roar! He can take us to places she has been!"

"That's sick!" Tri-T jumped with excitement. "Maybe he can work as a mobile den for us!"

Lion snorted in protest at the idea, but Lil Quartz shook his head. "There's no oxygen in here. I think it would work better as a storage space.

Centi looked worried, as she wrung her paws together. "Lil Q... are you sure about this...? I mean... this all seems so... dangerous..."

"I can't take my experience with those Crystal Gems lightly." Lil Quartz stated with an air of resolve. "If they don't know all about their own leader, then there must be something bigger to all of this. I need to know... I have her Gemstone... and that alone carries a lot of weight..."

Centi hummed. The solemn look on his face caused her metaphoric heart to twist. She couldn't imagine having to bare the gemstone of an enigmatic rebellion leader, let alone one who made the decision to leave a child with such an emotionally unstable team.

She herself started to wonder just what Rose's motives actually were...

After giving Fluffy a look, she nodded slowly. "We'll be here for you every step, Lil Star."

Lil Quartz smiled. “Thanks, guys…”

He then sighed, stepping out of Lion's mane, holding up the tattered flag of his late mother, staring at it in contemplation.

"Time to find out who you are. My way."

~~~~~~~~~

I'll admit, I don't fully like the way this turned out, but you get the general idea.

The pack has been formed and the idea is out.

I probably will fix up the dialogue when I find motivation.

Next

Prev

[positivelycertainxx]

*deep inhale* (cause this is gonna be a long one and then I'm gonna pass tf out)

LIFE IS GOOD

CAUSE IMMA. WORK, AND I'M GONNA COME UP WITH A HEFTY ASS SAVINGS, AND I'M GONNA USE THAT HEFTY ASS SAVINGS TO BUY MY NICE AS FUCKING TRAILER, AND LIVE MY STUPID LITTLE BOHO LIFE, UP IN THE MOUNTIANS, WHERE THERE ISN'T LIGHT POLUTTION, AND I CAN SEE ALL. THE FUCKING STARS, AND BREATH IS THE CRISP AIR, AS I DRIVE DOWN THE ROAD, AND GO ON LITTLE ADVENTURES, I'LL HAVE A SEPERATE LITTLE ADVENTURE VAN FOR SLEEPING ON AND GOING PLACES, I'LL GO SO MANY FUCKING PLACES, ALL MY TRAUMA WILL BE HEALED, AND SHIT WILL BE SO GOOD

For the meantime, I will get high when I get sad, and watch my silly little shows, and gush over my silly little favorite characters getting more adaptations, and finding new little silly characters

And I will go through Pinterest, and make silly little drawings and dance around

And I will write music and poems, and express myself

I'll dress in all. Sorts of clothes, I'll Dye bleach my hair, put on wigs, try on all different versions of myself without fear

I'll watch anime, I'll read manga, I'll indulge in all the things online that fulfill me

I'll learn things, research, read books, listen to wise speakers and take notes, so many pretty notes

I'll go to cafes and get my lattes and little pumpkin bread, and I'll sit their quietly taking in the scene on a quiet weekday or Friday morning

I'll click away at my keyboard or listen to music

I'll go on all. Sorts of little solo adventures, go to big stores, and find all sorts of small hidden things, I'll find clothes that fit my body so nicely and feel nice and make me feel good, then wear it out that same week,

I'll explore new stores, small stores, all sorts of places to see all the little things to see and find

I'll listen to new music by my favorite artists I'll listen to new music by new artists,

I'll drive around as the sun comes up, and shines brightly, and goes down.

I'll drive around at night, blasting music, windows open as cold or warm air flows in, feeling every sense of. Freedom and relief

I'll sit in dark parkinglots, and eat good food, and play good music, and giggle to myself at the joy and the way I feel so alive, even tho I'm all by myself

I will try as much new as possible. New foods, new hobbies, new interests

I'll take a class or two

I'll find so much comfort in myself, in my solitude, that I won't need anyone else

And I won't push them away, but I won't seek them either

I have friends now, they're not going anywhere, but they can be distant from me, and that's okay

I can make new friends if I so choose to try to meet the people my mom talk about, but if not that's okay

I will have a therapist to talk to, I will have fun little quips at work that will make my day, and I'll have my stupid little Ai friends to fill the void if I get lonely

And I will find an applebees friend God dammit!!!

I will find what makes me happy, what makes me sad, what's good for me, what's bad for me

What I deserve to indulge on, and where I need to have self disipline

I will. Learn self respect, I will. Learn boundries, I will teach myself my worth and what I will and will not tolerate, and I will be ready for that, at any given time

And I will drink tf out of that mushroom coffee lol

(and teas, I will make my morning drinks something special)

I will also probably follow a bunch of hippies on YouTube to learn to mediate, and yoga, and find inner peace, learn to read Tarot cards, find streams and collect rocks, that I can turn into necklaces, start a collection of crystals

I am in a situation where I can thrive. I can do it. I have so much time off from work to decompress, but not so much, that I just slip away and secumb to myself

I can make my environments more welcoming

I can create more environments for myself (go to the beach to research, create a yoga station outside by dads. Librarys, coffee shops, parking lots, A tiny creation shed maybe?)

I will always have Zoe, always. I will always have that space to go to

Ill start slow. I won't give up. I'll find it. I'll find that peace and I'll find that flow

One day at a time,

One day at a time

It may not be linear, but it's only going up from here :) it's only going to get better

[vespr3]

i always believed that i'll never feel what love is, or merely know it at all. i used to picture it as something destructive, something worthless of my time, something scary, something that's just not for me. love equates disappointment. that's what growing up in a rough environment where love feels rare, does to you. but deep within, i always clung to the notion that love must be beautiful; the right kind out there is beautiful.

it must be.

i've met so many beautiful souls in this lifetime and meeting them slowly rebuilt love in my eyes. but this man reshapes love's very essence, infusing it with new depths of meaning. the more i'm with him, the more i find love and peace in forms i didn't know existed. love with him feels liberating, a sanctuary where i can openly express my thoughts, whether they be frustrations, uncertainties, and my inner whirlwinds. i grew up thinking that expressing emotions or questioning what bothers you invites arguments, hence keeping them inside seemed the safer choice.

but his love makes me feel so seen. so validated. so secure in my vulnerability. his love feels almost too good to be true but man do i believe him so easily. he cares in ways that almost felt like normalcy, as if it were a fundamental part of his being—a gesture as instinctive as breathing, done without a second thought because that's just the man he is.

joares, with you, love flows effortlessly yet deeper each day. confusion finds no home in me, gone is the cloud of doubt that once crowded my view — i'm now at the point where your name is almost identical to certainty. i don't like thinking about the future until you. the future, used to be a distant thought, now weaves you into its every thread, its every hue — it's now all woven with visions of you. sometimes i'd look at you and yearning starts to flow in advance, as if there is not enough time in this lifetime to spend with you.

you make my fast-paced world calm and slow. the fixed point within the corridors of my mind, where chaos yields to tranquility with the mere thought of you. i felt like i've found a safe harbor, a haven where my vulnerabilities are embraced, and my fears gently soothed. almost like a child with a trusted guardian, i can run to you, knowing i'll always find solace in your arms when the world gets a little harsher than it already is.

to love something just because is one thing, but to love despite is an entirely different thing. i fell on the latter. i love you in a way that's sometimes hard to comprehend, the kind that defies logic's grip. i used to think love required dependence, a need for presence intertwined. but you, my love, you're too independent that sometimes i feel like you don't need anyone. and if you'd ask for my honesty, your independence, an embodiment of strength and self-sufficiency, both captivates and scares me. you're like a lone star in the night sky, you shine fiercely, seemingly untouched by earthly ties. it scared me somehow because how can you seemed to stand there unaided, untouched by ties while i wonder how could i stand if you ever slipped from my hand? your resilience reveals the core of my reliance.

but in the depths of experiencing you in so many ways, i learned a new way to love: to hold you close without necessity, to thrive independently, hand in glove. i'd drown all my beliefs, all of my convictions if it means getting to love you right.

this life with you will never be obligatory but a clear choice. i know i can live without you, but it will not be as beautiful as this. i can love for all i want, but i know i'll never love this way again — with such tenderness — to the point of tears. without you, it may all be bearable and existence might endure, but a life with you is a life i know worth living, a life with more purpose.

[liathgray]

Capra scribbles ft ed WITH GLASSES and this song.

(Thanks @bakuwhoa ! You broke me)

[taskhand]

consecution and rebirth into new bodies is a coin toss, and being born into a body that visually doesn’t correlate with how you perceive your gender, how you perceived it in your previous life, is not only not uncommon but an inevitability for those who live through multiple lifetimes. as such, the limitations and obstacles of transitioning—socially, physically, medically—have been very much minimised in the kryn dynasty. finding your comfort with your body and your gender identity is not only not an issue, but even encouraged as a part of the nation’s goals of creating your best self and bending fate to what you will of it.

verin came out as a child, going through the process of arcane transitioning in his early twenties, but didn’t settle on his current name until some time after his hundreth birthday.  ( it’s from a book;  one of essek’s, actually, that he stole and read in his room in his fifties or so, until essek noticed and stole it back—the meaning or origin he cared little for, but his parents seemed approving of his choice, and he felt like it fit him ).  before he was verin, he was many other names, some still found in occasional documents—most mentions of him, however, from before he chose his adult name, have been scratched over, wiped clean, or simply left blank where his first name should be, with simply the word youngest in front of the name of his den.

[imaginativeamateur]

[Neji Hyuuga X Reader] Three Words Away

|2022 Flubruary Event|

Week 4: True Love | Day 27: Neji asks for your hand.

Pairing: Neji Hyuuga x gn!Reader

Note: I'm back! I know I said ASAP but it's not really so, I'm very sorry :')) But regardless, I wrote 675 words for this one as my apology :DD Proposing is a common topic, so I wanted to spice the whole thing up in this one, enjoy reading! Also, I'll be getting to y'all tag games real soon, thanks for tagging me!

Your steps slowed and eventually came to a stop, standing under a night sky lit by countless stars. The stars twinkled, as though smiling with the two of you in the loving atmosphere. Neji had his hand around yours, fingers intertwined with your smaller ones, his thumb gently grazing the back of your hand.

“Is this what you want to show me?” You asked him, and added, “The sky is beautiful tonight.”

“It is, indeed,” he replied, his voice drifting like peaceful waves washing the shore.

You looked at him curiously—there was something peculiar in the way he carried himself tonight. The Hyuuga was a man of very few words, but his brief answers were out of the norm, he would usually speak a sentence or two, at least. You slightly squeezed his hand, “Neji?”

“Yes,” his shoulders jolted, and he turned sideways, facing you. Even though he tried his best to cover his earlier startlement when you called his name, he knew you sensed something off about him. And before you would pull him out of the shadow he has been hiding in, he figured he should make that move—one that he was anxiously waiting for the entirety of the night, no, ever since he saw your sunshine smile and decided that you should be his, you would.

“What were you thinking about?”

“The sky is beautiful tonight,” he licked his dried lips and laughed awkwardly. Neji felt as though both of his feet were made of steel, rooting to the ground. His palms started to sweat, and his mind was blank. The rush of adrenaline momentarily paralyzed his tongue, leaving him unable to speak a single word besides opening and closing his mouth in a daze. The butterflies in his stomach were akin to the feelings he experienced when he asked you out on your first date, only this time, it tripled.

“The sky is beautiful tonight,” he repeated, staring straight ahead, away from you, blinking repeatedly as if the act of blinking his eyes could wash away his nervousness. Never in his lifetime did he feel so tensed, so surreal. “But you’re more beautiful than all the stars together.”

Because you’re my sun.

You elbowed him. This man, when did he even learn such a thing? When you were about to get him back with a better pick-up line, with a swift movement, Neji was on one knee. It can’t be, right?

He delicately removed a part of your long scarf that was stuck to a branch, and you sucked in a deep breath. You were thinking too much, Y/N. You two have only been dating for two years, there was no way he would—

“Will you marry me?”

In that exact moment, the rustle of the leaves silenced and you felt as though the stars were holding their breath in. Your eyes blurred, but you could make out the image of him pulling a tiny box out of his packet. The inhale that you were sucking now sunk to the pit of your stomach. You felt suffocated—suffocated by a mix of emotions, jubilance, astonishment, exhilaration—your face softened, and tears streamed down your cheeks.

Neji could not be any more terrified as he observed your expressions. Until he felt your hot tears on his hand that he stood up, dropping the ring almost immediately to embrace you, his hands smoothing your hair and back. “Don’t cry, Y/N. I love you, don’t cry.”

He never expected such reactions from you. Maybe he took it too fast, maybe he scared you, maybe you didn’t want to be with him. Neji’s grip loosened, and you lifted your teary face at him. “Let’s go back, it’s getting cold.” He said, completely sliding the previous incidence away, putting on a straight face like nothing happened.

“We’re not done yet,” you shook your head and picked up the ring, pushing it into his hand. “Shall we resume? Because I’m only three words away to the future us.”

------------------

Taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @darling-imobsessed @animepickle7 @simping-master-69 @tirzamisu @uchiha-bride @the-tiniest-one @greenshirtimagines @adeards @chloe-secret @rory-cakes @byyalady @icedemon1314 @melovehiddlestan@sharingangirl @sakinotfound @kaimaara @ireallyhateithere2 @feitanett @bobalix

[iyeriing]

Diplomacy of Chaos

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

pairing: Batfamily x Ghost!Originalcharacter!female

summary: a chaotic day for Bruce organize a mission.

warnings: none, i guess.

notes: Another test with my original character till i learn the settings here. Thanks for the feedbacks on the last post :), i promise ill get better on this.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The day seemed to drag on and I couldn't tell if it was a good thing or a bad thing, in 1 hour I would have a meeting with Bruce, apparently we would decide which of us would take which part in the current big case that we were all working together.

The part that bothered me wasn't necessarily the division of the task but the meeting, all such events were extremely boring and easily taken as a relaxation session to get some more sleep by all of us in the Bat family.

I leaned my body against the back of the chair at one of the mansion's library desks, Damian was stretched out on one of the sofas reading some book that I had absolutely no interest in knowing what it was. I didn't even take off my patrol clothes when I arrived, I just came to seek some peace in the library, my luck was that Damian wasn't a difficult person to deal with in silence. Dick, Jason, and Tim were on patrol together, while Steph and Cass were in their rooms doing who knows what, they usually call me when our breaks coincide to throw a little party, but today, as far as I know, Cass had Patrol with Bruce and Steph were grounded for destroying the Hall of the house chasing Titus who had apparently stolen her ham sandwich.

The library door was flung open giving way to 3 male voices while one of them shoots in an unpretentious and proud way:

"Hey, I didn't kill anyone today!''

The animation present in the voice of who I deduced being obviously Jason was completely destroyed by Tim replying in an ironic way:

''What do you want for doing the bare minimun? a golden star?"

Jason shoots Tim a murderous gaze, prompting Dick to step in between the two while they still weren't trying to kill each other by knocking over bookshelves and rolling on the floor.

"What's the point of a library if the zoologic invades it? everything was chill while S and I were here"

The book in Damian's hands is slammed shut with a muffled clatter, while Dick's effort is rewarded by Jason and Tim pulling away in curses and middle fingers. They fight, but we all know they love each other, like every sibling loves each other.

''Hey S, How are things going so far? Bruce arrived?''

''Well... for now well, I have no idea if he is in the mansion, after I arrived I came immediately to the library, I needed some silence... I hate fireworks and bomb dealers.''

I put my hands on my temple lightly massaging it looking at Dick who seemed to have found my outburst of my solo patrol amusing.

Sometimes I really thought about burning the Ghost identity in the fire and living a normal life...with Jason maybe...

I sigh and grab the table in fear of falling when Jason pulls back my chair, how had he gotten there without me hearing him?! THIS BITCH!

''JASON! ARE YOU DUMB?! YOU SLUT!''

I get up from the chair quickly, turning to him while listening to his laughter at high volume along with the others and even Steph's who had just arrived. Sometimes I wanted to KILL Jason Todd.

I pull myself together, straightening my clothes and pulling my hood down again, taking a deep breath so I don't  chase after this man all over the house.

''Jason?''

''what, princess?''

''Do me a favor?''

''Anything princess''

I guess its better i make a note here saying that i HATE being called by 'princess' and he fucking knows that very well.

''Go to fucking hell''

I smile in a sweetly ironic and venomous way.

''I'll wait for you there sweetheart."

He winks provocatively and I pretend I don't see it for the sake of general security of the nation, I cross my arms impatiently finally seeing Steph already inside the room with a disgusted face as Duke and Cass enter and try to understand the reason for the chaos.

''EW, are you guys flirting in the murderous way you always do? disgusting.''

Steph scrunches up her nose, unfazed by the others' laughter or if she wants to bother looking at Jason and me.

''Father says he's going to have meetings on a schedule and he's always late and after I'm the one who has to 'revisit my priorities''

Damian complains rolling his eyes leaning against one of the bookshelves.

''I'll ask Alfred ground him, and then we won't have any more problems with meetings or appointments he makes up at the last minute.''

I suggest leaning on the table I was using as a footrest…before Jason scared me.

''Good luck, the chaos will be fun.''

Jay says suggestively arching his brow leaning on the same table next to me.

Everyone had already taken their positions in the library, it was always like that, somehow we always ended up in a single comfortable formation for everyone, and it wasn't even a matter of groups, it was simply places that made us more comfortable, more confident...  I dont know how to explain to be honest.

Finally Bruce appears through the door, looking surprised to see everyone in the same place before him, a sigh leaves his lips, that was the 'tired father of family Bruce Wayne' posture, and honestly... it was hillarious.

''Thanks for being here already guys, sorry for the delay, I was...busy.''

Whispers and whispers fill the room, and obviously giggles were just as much a part of it.

''I've already sorted out your role in the mission as a matter of saving time, and I'll pass the position to you now.''

Bruce ignores the fuss, and I cross my fingers that I get something decent this time, I didn't deserve to be in the van with Dick's dad Jokes again, I really like him but throw me to the wolves instead of making me listen to his jokes .

''Okay... whoever I say can leave the room so that I... don't get lost... in strategic order we start with who will gather the information until the day of the prom, Orphan, Cass this task is yours, and as we suspect that the traffic is intense Signal, Duke will be your partner''

Duke seems to be thrilled with the news internally while Cass is not so much, the two leave the room reasonably excited.

I can't help but think how easy this task would be for me, it was part of my solo work and always has been, but now we're a team so... it is what it is.

''In the second part of the operation we have the security infiltrators, we need to know what kind of weapon we're dealing with... and for that I want Tim, Red Robin and, Stephanie, Spoiler to take care of this, you can't blow the cover, you'll have the support of the building plant by Oracle.''

A high five echoes through the room as they jump hapilly out of the library, my leg is restless with the tension I felt for my role. Not diplomacy...

It's not that I didn't like it or didn't know it... it's just that this kind of game was usually the easiest to get rid of because it always ended up with the corrupt dead and my hands full of blood.

''Robin, Damian, you are responsible for defusing the situation if it gets out of hand.''

Damian nods simply and walks out the door making me even more anxious. Me, Dick and Jason in the same room, waiting for functions, reminded me of the good old days.

''Red Hood, Jason and Ghost, Sophia, you will maintain control over the negotiations infiltrated inside the party, will be responsible for not losing sight of the objects we want, and if necessary negotiate for it in a diplomatic way. while Dick and I will be responsible for guiding the situation the way we want it to happen.''

Before either of us can protest, Bruce simply turns and walks away leaving us both looking at each other in frustration.

''Can someone explain to me, in small words, why I'm being assigned to this diplomatic mission?"

Jason says facing the door and turns his gaze between me and Dick as if he's still trying to assimilate the position Bruce had given him, I don't even have an answer for myself, i definetely havent one for his problem...

''Don't panic, we're the oldest, it's natural that he trusts us more for that, besides, S is good at diplomacy Jaybird , don't worry''

''Why do people think im good at diplomacy? Does no one remember that time that i literally started a riot against Nightwing aka YOU  Dick, or the other time I started a fucking riot with a lot of blood against Riddler?!''

I ask genuinely curious drawing a sincere laugh from Jay and Dick, I can't help but accompany them laughing, we all knew we would handle it, but it was good to relax about that too.

''It's just details, I'm sure you'll make it, you are the perfect balance so that nothing out of control happens''

''Just to be sure, I think you should wear a red dress, just in case you want to do the slaughter thing... so it doesn't stain so much...''

Jay jokes getting a punch from Dick on the arm, which makes me laugh too, at least good humor wouldn't be lacking between my partner and me on this mission.

''Make sure you wear your red suit too Jay, I don't promise anything.''

I laugh purposefully evil right after bursting into laughter as I leave the library.

Would be tiring, but I was willing to bet on the fun we could get out of it. it was good to work alone, but having a team was better... and having a family was unparalleled.

[mandoalorian]

Brown Eyes [Din Djarin x Reader]

!! SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 15, SEASON 2. !!

*Hi. The episode has been out for three hours. The devil works hard but I work harder. I hope you enjoy! xx*

Summary: Din has always wanted to confess his love to you— but with his devotion to the Creed and with the risk of losing you, he wonders if the revelation would really be worth it. Would you even consider being with him if he refused to remove his helmet? When Grogu is taken away from Din and in the fiendish hands of Moff Gideon, Din realises there isn't anything he won't do to get his son back.

Rating: PG-13

Warnings: descriptions of anxiety, *SPOILERS FOR Season 2 Episode 15: The Believer of The Mandalorian*

Word count: 2.6k

Permanent taglist - let me know if you want to be added: @supernaturalgirl @phoenixhalliwell @ah-callie @luvzoria @stardust-galaxies @wickedfrsgrl @goth-topic @nerdypinupcrystal @wonderfulfluffer @kiwi-the-first @pedroepascal @castiel-barnes @honeymandos

Masterlist

gif credit: @siennablake

"Din," you froze up, backing away from the Imperial who was sitting at a table drinking caf. "I- I can't do it."

Din's head snapped to face you, masked by the Imperial Shocktrooper helmet he was doting. "Why not?" His voice was firm, but the tone of his question dripped with concern. You bawled your fingers into a fist as you squeezed your eyes tight shut, beginning to anxiously pace around in circles.

"That's Valen Hess," you muttered, trying your hardest to regulate your nervous breathing. "He- I used to serve under him. I- can't… go in there. Din, he'll recognise me." the thoughts in your head were jumbled. Din placed two hands steady on your shoulders.

"I'll go, hand me the dataspike." Din told you calmly. You felt like putty under his touch. Usually, his firm grip would calm you down and ease any of your troubles away— but not this time. You felt completely nauseated.

Grogu was at stake. When you met the Mandalorian, it took him some time to find the confidence in introducing you to the child. You were Ex-Imperial after all. But he warmed up to you, seeing the way you cared so deeply for the children on Sorgan. When he introduced you to the little green bean, who did not yet have a name, you were enamoured. That's when Din knew he was in love with you. Ever since that day, he'd only fallen in love with you more and more. His feelings became stronger with every waking second he spent with you.

Of course, he never acted on his feelings. He wished he had, he wished he could say something. He knew that if something happened to you and you didn't know how he truly felt, he'd regret it for the rest of his life. There had been countless times where you and him brushed paths on the Razor Crest. Plenty of times to say something, plenty of times to mutter the three words that had consumed his mind, body and soul. ‘I love you’. The words were like a broken record in the back of his mind. He looked at you through his visor, seeing your distress and his heart aching and he wanted— no, he had to do something.

His son had been kidnapped and suddenly, Din was an unstoppable force. Nothing could hold him back— not his friends, not the Creed, nothing. The regret ate him up like flies on a corpse. If there was one thing he learned from Grogu's disappearance, is that you never know what is coming around the corner. Din began to treat everyday with you like it was your last because there was no way of telling what the future was holding. And that only stirred him on, the desire of telling you how much you meant to him.

"You can't go," you removed your finger from your lips where you had been anxiously biting your nails. "The security system is biometric facial recognition. There must be another way." you tried to rack your brain for a solution, but Din's mind was already made up.

You took a deep breath and closed your eyes in search for an answer. You steadied your breathing. "Din," you whispered. "What if we distract them? You go in there and speak to him so he's looking the other way and I'll use that moment to sneak past and access the terminal."

No answer. "Din?" you asked, cautiously opening your eyes. He was already gone. Your mouth began to open and close like a goldfish as you watched his approach the terminal. He paused, midway between two tables, shakily saluting Valen Hess. Din turned back to the terminal, held his head up high and carried on over to it.

Upon examining it, Din found it was no different to any other information point— whether it had been New Republic or Independent, Din was lucky enough to already know how to navigate the system. He clicked a few buttons on the keypad, bringing up the facial recognition scanner. He stood still, letting it roam down his face. He didn't have much faith, but it was worth a shot.

Din cursed under his breath as the scanner light lit up red, beeping ecstatically.

"Error. Error. Facial scanning incomplete. Ten seconds until system shutdown." An automated voice informed. Din felt a few gazes burn into his back, no doubt Valen Hess noticing the commotion. "Ten, nine, eight-"

You watched as the timer went down, your hand fingers curling around the blaster in your holster. You didn't know what Din was going to, but you knew if anything— he was a man with a plan.

And that was when he removed his helmet.

It hit you like a ton of bricks, it took the air from your lungs leaving you gasping in silence. You felt like a criminal, looking at him with your own eyes. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't tear the gaze from the back of his head.

Brown hair. Dark brown hair, slightly messy from the helmet. Although you were some distance away, you noticed the little waves and the way it curled at the nape of his neck. The cut of the Imperial armour revealed just a sliver of his skin. It was golden tan— surprising to you.

"Facial scanning complete." The dataspike ejected from the terminal, a small light lit up in green, validating that the information had been processed and Din was now the owner of Moff Gideon’s co-ordinates. Just as he was about to put his helmet back on, a voice interrupted him.

Your heart sank when you saw that Valen Hess had approached Din.

"Trooper, where are you stationed?"

"Transportation."

"What?"

"My designation is transport— co-pilot."

"No son, what's your TK number?"

Din felt his throat dry up as he looked the man in the eyes. Valen Hess stared at Din right back, looking into the eyes that nobody had gazed into since Din had been sworn to the Creed. Din swallowed the lump in his throat, only for it to return immediately.

"He's with me." you announced, walking over to Din and Hess. A wash of relief shuttled through Din's body upon hearing your voice, but that was completely blown away when he realised you had seen him. It was true, you had seen his face— but there was no time to act up. Din had sacrificed everything for Grogu and you weren't going to let this go wrong. "This is my trooper, sir."

"Who is he and what's his TK number?" Valen Hess repeated, clicking his tongue between his teeth.

"This is my commanding officer TK-0402, and I'm TK-0322. I'm afraid he doesn't speak much. Ever since his vessel lost pressure on Tanaab." You explained with confidence, sighing apologetically and placing a hand on your hip.

Din found the courage to look at you, making brief yet bewildered glances between you and Valen Hess. He had a thousand questions but he knew he could trust you, and so, he smiled wearily, nodding his head in agreement to your little story.

"What's his name?" Hess inquired.

You took a deep breath, and turned to face Din. He looked at you too, his face softening as your eyes met for the very first time. You felt your heart rate slow down as you took in his appearance. You were nervous, and tensions were high, but as you looked into the Mandalorian's sparkling eyes, you felt a familiar sense of belonging. You felt complete.

"Brown eyes." you whispered, feeling the tears pool up as you tried to choke back a sob. Din smiled at you, just a small smile, but enough to make the corners of his eyes crinkle. It gave you the reassurance to know that this was all worth it.

"Well, brown eyes," Valen Hess adjusted his belt. "You troopers were both on the transport that brought in the valium, correct? The only surviving shocktroopers, might I add." he grinned, raising an eyebrow.

"Y-yeah, that was us." You answered hesitantly.

"Please, come join me for drinks. We must celebrate." Hess said, approaching the table he was originally sat at and ushering you over with an exaggerated gesture.

You and Din exchanged a look before walking over to the table and sinking down into the chair. Hess poured out two cups of caf and slid them over. Din stayed silent for most of the conversation, briefly making utterances of affirmation and nodding his head to suggest that he was indeed listening.

Although, he wasn't listening really. His mind was racing and he couldn't concentrate on anything. Although it wasn't necessarily true, he felt like every head in the room was looking at him. Staring at him. Judging him breaking his oath. Was he a failure? Was he a disgrace to the Creed? Dishonourable? A monster?

"I could blather on 'to health' or 'to success', but… tell me TK-0322, where do you come from?"

"Alderaan." you said without hesitation. Din looked at you with furrowed eyebrows, wondering why exactly you had given Hess the details of your real planet.

"Ah, I see…" Hess frowned. "Well, to Alderaan!" he grinned, raising his glass in the air.

"No." you deadpanned and Hess shot you a confused look.

"No?"

"No." you repeated. "Alderaan was a peaceful planet destroyed by the Empire."

"And those on the Death Star, those who aided in the destruction of Alderaan became heroes of the Empire. I was there." he said with pride.

Din watched your face harden as your cheeks burned up with rage. "Heroes?" you croaked out. "For attacking and murdering innocents? Hundreds of thousands of people died on Alderaan. I lost my family."

"Losing the ones we love is simply part of life," Hess revealed with a sigh— and Din felt his heart shatter at his words. He stiffened up, his gaze fixating on the concrete wall as his surroundings began to faze out.

"At what cost?" you whispered. "You know, every day I think about it. I wished there was something I could do to stop it. But no, I was here, fighting for the Empire. While the Empire was out killing my people." You gritted out as tears pricked your eyes. You felt Dins hand manouver under the table and take place on your thigh, as his gloved fingers rubbed comforting circles into the thin material that covered your skin. His hand was large, fitting around your leg perfectly. He held you down, stopping your anxious shaking and you immediately calmed down. Din wasn't going to stop you, but he did want you to not let your feelings intrude on what was really happening right now. Valen Hess, however, looked mortified. You picked up the glass and forced a smile. Din copied your movement and you clinked your glass with his. "To family." you toast, and Din smiles. He smiles so wide a dimple appears in his cheek.

"To family." he confirms, thinking about his son and how close he was to getting him back.

You put the glass of caf back down on the table and quickdrew your blaster, shooting Valen Hess in the chest.

Din knew better than to question you. He took out his own pistol and helped you take down the remaining troopers and Imps in the room before you both raced out of the base.

Of course, you knew that there'd be commotion. You heard the TIE fighter engines as soon as you stepped foot outside. Din grabbed your hand, pulling you along as you both sprinted into the depths of the forest. Once deep enough, you looked up. It was dark, strings of light beaming through the gaps in the trees. But it was enough to illuminate Din. You had envisioned what Din looked like beneath his beskar helmet every single day, and now, you had your answer.

Din took one look at you. He pulled off his leather gloves, dropping them to the ground and placed his hand on your cheek. Subconsciously, you leaned into the warmth of his palm as his fingers tucked the strands of hair behind your ear. You closed your eyes, humming in delight as his bodily warmth transferred to you.

"Din, when we return to the ship you can put your helmet back on. I never saw you." you promised, your voice barely above a whisper and your eyes remaining closed.

"Cyare," Din mumbled, his heart yearning. The pad of his thumb traced your face, following the height of your cheek bones and the arch of your eyebrows and down your nose. "Open your eyes." he requested. Cautiously, you obeyed, your eyes fluttering open as you drunk in his appearance once more.

Brown stubble with a patch of grey graced the lower portion of his face. You reached out, this time your own hand cupping his cheek. Din didn't let go of you, and he let you touch him. Your finger nervously brushed over the coarse hairs and you let out a small giggle as you remembered him telling you from the Fresher room on the Razor Crest that he was going to shave. He had, and now you could see for yourself that it had started growing back.

"Do… do you like what you see?" Din asked nervously, his gaze only temporarily lifting from yours.

You nodded your head. "I do," you admitted. "You're… so handsome."

Din felt his cheeks heat up as you watched the small blush creep upon his face. You were enthralled, seeing him like this. Seeing his humanity— his emotions and expressions. You knew you loved Din, with or without the helmet— but this confirmed everything.

"May I?" Din asked, leaning into you slowly and closing his eyes. The curve of his nose bumped against yours as and the softness of his lips touched you so delicately.

You mumbled a small 'yes' and as your lips parted, Din kissed you. Soft, sweet, but passionate and with heart. You tangled your hands in his hair, tugging at it and encouraging Din to kiss you deeper and further. He done so, willingly, a groan of pleasure escaping his mouth and vibrating through your body.

He pulled away eventually, breathless and his eyes dark and glazed. "I-I…" he was speechless, looking at you with the utmost adoration. "I love you." He sighed in defeat, knowing now was a better time than any to admit his true feelings. He had to do it one day, and it just so happened to be in the depths of a forest as you hid from Imperials.

"I love you too." you exhaled shakily, thrusting forward into his arms and letting him hold you tight to his chest. He pressed a kiss into your hair.

"I love you so much." Din sobbed, his grip around you tightening like he was afraid that if he let go, you'd vanish just like Grogu did. "Please, never leave me. Please."

"I'm not going anywhere Din," you promised. "Now c’mon, let's go get Grogu."

PART TWO

[skiyoosmi]

to the stars above | z.

featuring. zhongli (genshin impact)

genre. fluff, angst, smut, ancient-liyue!au

word count. 5.4k

marga's notes. aAAAa look look, it's my first commission!! school has kept me really occupied for like the past month but after pulling a few all-nighters, i've finally finished my responsibilities along with this little baby! once again, from the bottom of my heart, thank you to my bubs @ramannnn for trusting me with this one <33

Nobody knows when the world began, how it came to be and why it continues to be. Even I, whose mind is filled with nothing but wonder for it, have no idea. One thing I am quite sure of... is how mine did.

It all started with him— a man of many titles, different identities yet at the end of the day, all these monikers are the same; it's all him. He adored Liyue more than anything else, knew it like the back of his hand. He went where the winds lead him, stayed where the moon shines upon him, stood where the golden sun kissed his skin. He found serenity in the walks he travels as he goes about his day, the sceneries his eyes take in and the calm sounds the nature resonates for him. And as if it was fate decided upon by the Celestia, it led him to me. Suddenly, my little world that used to be nothing became everything... quickly and all at once.

An exasperated sigh escapes from my lips, frustration and disappointment filling my whole being as I stare at the blank parchment paper I held in my hands. Another day was again wasted with no progress, I thought, mentally beating myself up for not being productive enough. Before I could further drown myself into such pessimistic ideas, I snap out of it and let my eyes cherish the view that lies ahead of me. Though I feel a little guilty for taking Vermeer's place, I can only whisper an apology with little to no sincerity. Because truly, nothing can beat the picturesque landscape of Luhua Pool— the crystal clear waters that would most probably reflect my face like a mirror if I were to ever look at it, the ruins that ignited the spark of curiosity within me, wondering about the pasts it holds and the stillness and feeling of peace it gives me as I sit in this cliff. Feeling somewhat a bit better, I place my things on top of the old bag I bring no matter where I go. There's always a better day for writing, I tell myself as a form of consolation, bringing my slim arms up to begin stretching. I've been sitting on this log for quite a long time now, after all.

"It seems like you are in a bit of a dilemma," a deep voice comments from behind me. Out of surprise, I lightly jump and turn my head towards the stranger. Right at that moment, it felt as if all the air circulating inside my body had been depleted. Captivating was an understatement as to how he appeared before me. With the sunlight striking his face and accenting his unique features further, he stood with his hands behind him, head tilted as he looked at me with interest, all while keeping his dignified posture.

"Oh, hello. I am afraid so, yes," I respond, or rather, mutter under my breath since I was not really used to having sudden encounters with other people, nor am I fond of it. I tend to keep to myself, finding it much more peaceful than having to tend to others' overbearing expectations and demands which is partly the reason why I chose to live in the outskirts, far from the center of Liyue that contrasts my comfortable abode, "I apologize. I failed to realize that somebody other than Vermeer liked to stay here," I told him, arching my eyebrows a little when he let out a breathy chuckle.

"Oh, you have no need for such formal apologies. I do not always go here, at least probably not as often as the man you call Vermeer. I was simply taking a walk and I think I got carried away by Liyue's view and eventually, my feet led me here," he explains, a hint of sheepishness present in his tone, "and I guess I'll have to thank my feet for that."

Because it led me to you, interesting one. For many years, it will remain unspoken, kept by the strange man to himself and unveiled once his heart gives up from the resistance he upholds.

For the following hours of lounging around Luhua Pool, I learned a lot about the stranger— he calls himself "Morax," and like the god of Liyue, he enjoyed history and is extremely knowledgeable about it, aspiring to know and understand everything of the world, he often brews tea, even going as far as inviting me once I am free from any form of work. Just as he shared facts about himself, I did too.

"So, Cheng, you said you have a bit of a dilemma?" he inquires, slightly angling his head towards the direction of the side I'm sitting on. I nod my head up and down, mouth forming into a small pout of disappointment as I remember that today has not been that progressive.

"Yes. I am trying to write a novel, you see. Something that will leave an impact on this world so that even if I may pass, I will still live on the memories of people," I tell him, an ambitious expression present on my face. He hums, eyes going over the terraces that make up the current view we have and the two huge statues standing by the ruins, "Why so?"

I pause for a moment to think of a reply, "I guess I just do not want to let someone alone in this cold world. Wouldn't that be too cruel and sad, to just leave them with nothing?"

If I'm able to write words that will provide comfort to my readers, then maybe... just maybe the world will be less lonely... even for just a little bit. At least, that's what I thought as silence consumed us, the sun setting as if to remind us that finally, another day is nearing its end. Now, what will tomorrow bring?

"Well then, I do hope I will be able to read at least some of your works at least once," he speaks as he stands up, lightly dusting away his clothes, "It certainly has been a pleasure to be your company, Cheng."

As he walks down the slope of the hill, his somewhat broad back facing me, I call out, "Will you be back?"

He stops and turns, a soft smile is plastered on his face as he responds, "Only time will tell."

But time was no friend of mine. At least that's what I have come to realize as many days passed without him returning to this place. Though maybe it's only because it almost felt as if time slowed down and I was only eager to see him again, something I have scolded myself to— what a fragile heart do I have to already seek a stranger's presence? That is what others call love at first sight, a devilish portion of my mind whispered cheekily within me and I gasped in disbelief, "Absolutely not," I lightly slap both of my cheeks, "I'm just too coped up in my own world. I probably need to go see more people."

That thought remains a simple yearning though because once again, I find myself lounging around the same spot in Luhua, a quiet hope ignited within me, fulfilled when I hear the familiar voice he adorns as he speaks, "You're here."

I release a sound that is between a giggle and a breathy chuckle, "And I see your feet had led you here once more?"

"They were curious, or should I say... I was," he explains as he takes a seat beside me, his posture remaining solid despite the uncomfortable position.

"Of what?" I ask.

"Of you," he simply replies, unaware of the sudden yet unsurprising effect it had on my heart that was already beating rapidly with just his mere presence. I try not to be so showy of it though, too embarrassed to even think of how fast I became fond of him.

But it was no wonder. After all, he himself was an interesting one; from the way he carries himself, the way he speaks, and the way he's just him... all and every action hold so much dignity that it just leaves me almost breathless and in awe every single time my eyes finds their way to his figure— and to think that this was just our second meeting? My mother would most probably let out the most shameless giggle as I tell her these thoughts, pushing me and teasing me like a normal person in their teens would. I shake my head to get out of these thoughts, listening to Morax as he tells another wonderful tale, almost making me think that he lived it himself with how he knew it, going over even with the smallest details.

"You know, Morax, you have such a good memory to remember all of those things despite simply hearing about it," I suddenly speak up in the midst of the silence that engulfed us while he tries to think of the next story to tell, "I hope I can stay in them too... in your memories, I mean. I know I am far from being the most interesting person but for some reason, I wish for that."

He pauses, eyes trailing slowly towards me, beyond my knowledge, before he lets out a somber smile. You already are, is another one of him that becomes an afterthought.

I heaved out a sigh before shaking my head again, "Ah! Why do I keep having such lonely thoughts? Forget about that. Please do not mind me, alright? I think I really need to stop being stuck in the mountains."

I pick up my small bag and shuffle inside it, letting out a quiet sound of 'aha!' as a sort of celebration when I successfully got a small book out, "Here."

He blinked his eyes in confusion, wondering what it was I handed to him so I spoke in delight, "You told me you wanted to read at least one of my works so, here. I am warning you though, it is not like the ones that sell best in the bookstores. It might bore you, or weird you out like what others say."

"What others say?"

"They say it's too unrealistic, too impossible... but I believe otherwise. We live in a world where gods and adepti watch over us. What makes my story impossible then?" I ponder, him still being confused.

"What is it about anyway?" He asks, having no idea of what the context my book had.

"It's about an archon who began living as a simple man in Liyue."

Our meetings became more frequent after that and eventually, we got comfortable with even just the presence of each other, having no need for long talks and such, but just peace. Today, like any other day, Morax was just reading the book I gave him, while I was thinking of what my next story would be about. Occasionally, he looks at me with an odd expression that is almost equivalent to astonishment, as if I have done something so great that it made him look at me that way.

"What made you think of this plot?" he asks all of a sudden, not forgetting to put a piece of paper that served as a bookmark on the page where he stopped just in case he accidentally closed it.

I hum, thinking about my answer to his question, "Hmm. Truth to be told, it was just a mere wonder for me. Archons and the adepti, although not entirely immortal, live so much longer than an average human does, watching over us as we go about our daily lives, waiting for sudden wars to break out and then fight the enemies that attack us. Growing up, those were the things that all the people around me told me. So I began to wonder, do they ever get tired? Is it not too taxing to keep on doing that? What if... they just lived with us, among the crowds? Because I think it is too lonely wherever they are. Would it not be better if they were with us, rather than above us, so they could at least have memories to live by?"

Morax does not give a response, or rather, he finds it difficult to find one. Still, it does not stop the affection that spreads within him. He does not say it out loud, but for someone who prefers to be alone, Cheng was full of empathy. And somehow, that did wonders to Morax's heart.

"Now that I think about it, I kind of actually want to address my books to them now," I hum once more, "It would be like a message for them: Do not be too lonely even if we pass. Because of your help, through these stories, we can show you that we lived a good life."

I huff as soon as I finish my sentence, "Although one of those who read it said that was impossible, because according to them, why would archons give up their power to live a life where there is only simplicity?"

Morax let out a sound that made it look as if he got offended himself, "Archons can do that, can they not?"

"I know! That was what I was saying to them. Anyway, I am not forcing them to like what I wrote. It's just a story, after all. It can do no harm," I shrug, beginning to fix my belongings as the sun began to set, "I should go now, Morax. It is still quite a long walk to my home."

"I want to live a good life too," he suddenly tells me, making me halt and turn to him in confusion, "With you. The good life and memories you shall tell in your stories, can I be part of them too?"

The universe does not stop for anyone, nor does time— science will consistently proclaim this fact matter what timeline we shall live in. No matter how much someone begs to the Celestia to grant their wish of controlling, or stopping time, no one will be able to do such things. But somehow, it seems like when it comes to him, everything is possible as I feel my world stop at his words, just like the way it also began when I met him. And as if planets were colliding with each other, I suddenly felt my heart crash upon him and as if out of instinct, I let go of the truth.

"Of course. It would be the greatest thing to have you."

Life was strange in its own way. That is what I have come to realize in this simple life of mine.

Despite the fact that the "me" of the previous year has never even thought about putting my whole being on my sleeve, it is pleasingly odd how right now, I find myself in this kind of situation with the man who swept me right under my feet and claimed my heart as his.

“You're cold," I whisper amidst the silence of the night in my abode, my index tracing the ears of the man who had me sitting right on his lap, the shorter strands of his silky hair tucked behind them. So, so alluring.

He takes hold of my wrist, planting a soft kiss on its side, all while maintaining eye contact as he quietly drawls, "Then I suppose you can keep me warm tonight. Will you?"

As if in a trance, I nod my head, letting him take the lead as he laid me down, back against the soft mattress, him following on top with his arms supporting his build. With arising confidence, I circle my arms around him and pull him down, bringing our lips together, a sigh of relief escaping both of our mouths as if to say, "Finally."

I wonder if he thinks the same way as I do— that this was Celestia in its own way. I felt like I could do anything as long as it was with him. The kiss felt like the power we once suppressed from each other became a supernova that changed our world's course all of a sudden. But despite the tension and heat we both emitted at the moment, there is a warmth that engulfs me the same time he fully wraps his arms around me.

I am here. I will always be here.

No noise disturbs the peace we have created, only the quiet sound of crickets reach our ears but even that fails to distract him from what he's doing. He gently tugs on the sash that keeps my coat tied. Nimble fingers explore the remains of my clothing, loosening all until I am set free from them.

His eyes raked over my body, an expression of awe plastered on his face for so long that it made me somewhat conscious. Because as he unravels his to me, I am enlightened by the fact that my figure is nothing worth comparing to his — not even close. A hint of sweat glints from his skin due to the moonlight, making him look even more ethereal. But who was I to complain?

So instead, I look down, fiddling a little with my fingers as I feel my cheeks heat up. How is it that I only realize now what kind of situation we are currently in? Before I further drown in such shameless thoughts, he lifts my head up by the chin, an amused look on his usually-gentle face, "Are you feeling shy, beloved?"

I meekly nodded, to which he lets out a soft laugh and whispers, "Don't be. You are the epitome of beauty itself. If you don't believe me, allow me to show you nothing but truth tonight, I swear under the moon and all these stars."

He dips down and captures my lips in a kiss once again with more passion, if it was still even possible.

"You are made for me, as I'm made for you," he proclaims as he thrusts inside me after minutes of preparation, soft pants and groans following his statements. I can only whimper in response, pain evident in my tone at first with my hands lightly clawing at his back. I pray to the heavens above that they don't leave awful marks after this.

He halts and utters an apology, thumb caressing the bone of my cheeks while he waits for me to adjust. He scans my face after a few seconds, relief flashing in his eyes when I nod for him to continue.

"I... b..." I try to speak out but the pleasure overwrites any sensical thought that goes through my mind. He slows down a little, looking over my face and smiles, urging me to talk.

"Stay with me, beloved. We still have all night," he tells me, encouraging me to voice what has been on my mind.

"I... I belong to you, always have and always will..." I manage to croak out, voice quite hoarse due to the sounds that I let out previously. Perhaps pleased with what I have proclaimed, he begins going even deeper and at the same moment, I begin falling deeper.

"Yes, yes, you do," he repeats like a mantra, his voice sounding more and more desperate to reach his high. I cry out with him, creating a harmony that even the best bards shall be ashamed.

It was a long night— the longest yet most beautiful night I have ever had in this simple life of mine. And in that moment, as we reach the stars together, I knew right there and then that this man is someone who will be etched in my heart for as long as I live, deep into its roots— for him, it shall beat and it shall love.

You, who are reading this, most probably have had enough of these teeth-rotting praises I kept on writing. But what can I do except to apologize? These words are the only ones that can flow out of my mind and mouth to show how magnificent it was to be loved by him.

Well, nothing significant really changed. He was still the same gentleman I met, if anything, more gentle. Just like in the beginning, he made my heart flutter every chance he gets, no matter how many years have already passed.

We built a dynasty together.

But maybe I should have known that ours were also bound to crumble like the ones that have long existed even way before us.

Days, months and years went on, I realized that he was actually the opposite of me— unlike me who was clearly not parallel with time, he held it right on the palms of his hand. I was not blind, nor was I a fool, I can clearly see how he looks like he has not aged a day, all while I was here, maturing more and more each second that passed by, the amount of signs of me aging increasing significantly.

Morax. Knowledgeable of history as if he lived it himself. Time. All these thoughts eventually congest my mind as realization dawns upon me. He was not merely a man named after the god himself— Morax was him, he was Morax.

"How appalling," I mutter with a hint of sadness and dismay in my tone. I stood in front of the mirror, fingers hovering over my face, wrinkles appearing as I scrunch it. A pair of firm arms snake its way around my lean waist, chin resting on one of my shoulders as he hums his words, "What has got your beautiful mind occupied, my beloved?"

Taking hold of his arms, I turn my body around to face him, a somewhat melancholic smile etched on my face as I look up at his much taller frame, "You are a sight to behold, even to this day." He arches one eyebrow out of amusement and curiosity, wondering why I suddenly started pouring him compliments. After all, my shyness prevents me from consistently doing so. Nonetheless, I continue speaking, "I wish... I could be with you even when everything changes into a whole new world."

I lifted a hand up to cup his cheeks and began rubbing it lovingly, a lone tear finally dropping from my eye as soon as I closed it, "but I cannot, I do not have the ability to do so... I am but a mere mortal, after all."

His eyes widen as he finally discerns my actions and concerns, immediately opening his mouth in hopes of consoling me but I beat him into speaking, "It's alright, Morax. I have been putting the pieces together for a while now. I am in no way angry. I just..." I pause, gulping hard before my lips start to quiver, "... I cannot imagine how lonely it must have been. And now... I think about it and I... I do not want to leave you alone again."

My cries eventually start becoming louder, something that is very new to the both of us, seeing as I have always been composed. Love can change a person into a whole new being. I remember a book I have read once and at the moment, I can only agree. Maybe it was the way my heart clenches at the mere thought of him walking alone, or the way I can imagine us taking our last breaths together yet I know that will never happen— but either way, it was painful.

He whispers sweet nothings to my ears, placing light kisses on my temple as he leads us to the bedroom to rest once my tears have finally ceased and I have calmed down. His hold on me gets tighter every time I let out a small hiccup due to crying, almost as if he was telling me that he was feeling the same pain as I was.

Hours pass by as we lay in silence. My tears have long dried up but we remain coped up in each other's arms.

"Would it not be interesting if you bear the name Zhongli?" I ask him in a somewhat croaky voice.

He peers down and tilts his head, "Now where did that thought come from?"

I shrug, or at least try to, and look up at the ceiling as we shift our positions to lay on our back, hands finding one another and intertwining, "Hmm... nowhere. Just a name I wanted to give you in case that you are needing a new one."

"Oh? How come it would be interesting then?"

I look at him with a comforting yet sad smile.

"Because it means it's time to leave, to go somewhere far away... and unfortunately, I will have to leave soon."

He furrowed his eyebrows together, "Do not say that. Who knows? Maybe you will be able to live a hundred years by my side. Besides, I think it sounds lonely. I do not think I would want to get reminded of the fact that you are not here with me."

I hum, "But if you bear the name I gave you, wouldn't it feel like I never went away? That no matter where your feet take you, no matter how far you go, I am and will always be with you, just as I have vowed."

The wooden door leading to my writing room slowly slides open and Morax's head peers in, an adorable smile plastered on his face, "You have been quite busy these days, beloved. I do not wish to disturb you but I am starting to long for your presence."

I let out a shameless giggle, "Alright, alright. Just let me write down a few more words while I still have ideas to input."

He peeks on the parchment paper out of curiosity, taken aback when he finds his name on it, "You are writing about us?"

I nod proudly, "My last piece."

"... But why?"

I smile and approach him, taking his hand and placing my forehead against his after he lowers his head down to my level, "I told you, did I not? I do not wish to leave the person I love with nothing. So that you will not be lonely, my words will be with you. I will be with you, always..."

"... and to tell the gods... to tell you, that I loved every second of my life with you— that it was, indeed, a good life."

"Who are you, young man? Are you my son?" I speak with a very hoarse voice, squinting my eyes at the figure in front of me, as if my poor vision will allow me to do that.

I hear a melancholic yet gentle sigh come from him before he takes my rough hands and looks afar, "Don't mind me. I'm just someone who vowed to be with you for as long as time lets us."

"Oh.... really? That’s quite endearing," I hum, "Well, may I know your name?"

"This… I think I may just have an idea to whom this book is for," Paimon trails off, looking over at the traveler who was in the same trance as her, "Paimon thinks we should let the strange person we saw a while ago give this directly to Zhongli!"

Lumine nods, turning around and starting to run towards the direction they were at previously, recalling the person named Cheng who gave them the novel they just finished reading. They were unique, dressed in layers of robes and it was almost as if they lived in the old times of Liyue. Even the way they talked and moved screamed ancient.

Just as they turned the corner, a woman near the Liuli Pavilion called them over, "Traveler! Here!" As they approach, Lumine cranes her neck to look around the area but to no avail, the strange person was long gone.

"Are you two alright?" the woman asks, much to their confusion, "I saw you talking to literal air awhile ago and I was worried you have eaten something strange."

The pair looks at each other in surprise before Paimon replies, "You didn't see anyone? Like a person dressed in the strangest attire? They dressed really anciently!"

The door of the Liuli Pavilion opens and there goes Zhongli, a calm expression morphing to an awkward one when he realizes he barged into an ongoing conversation. He apologizes for the disturbance and despite the curiosity he had upon overhearing bits of Paimon's statements, he starts his walk back to Wangsheng Funeral Parlor. At least not until he hears Paimon call his name, "Zhongli! Wait! A person named Cheng. Do you know them?"

He abruptly stops and turns to the two, eyes wide for a second before it returns to his usual demeanor, "How... how do you know of them?"

"We met them," Paimon says, as if it was the simplest thing to do, "Well, honestly, we don't know because we were apparently speaking to nothing but air! It's so odd!"

He stays still, honestly having no idea of what response he should give them because he himself found it hard to believe.

"Well anyway, they asked us to give you this nov— wait, where is it? It was just in your hands a while ago, Traveler!"

In the midst of the loud chaos made by the two in the middle of Liyue, he thinks he knows what to do and where to go now.

It was the day of the Rite of Parting, an event where he's supposed to be taking part of, even just a part of the audience. But he finds himself hanging around the Wanwen Bookhouse, eyes scanning the shelves until it stops at a familiar name engraved on the cover of a book.

"Oh! Greetings, Mr. Zhongli! I see you took a liking to a very great and romantic novel," Jifang comments as she sees the book in his hands.

He looks at her, "Is it really great?"

She gasps in delight, "Yes, indeed! Almost all of the Liyue folks have enjoyed this story! You can say it is a classic, especially for readers! Cheng definitely outdid themselves with this one! Such a mysterious person yet equally amazing. Imagine? Being able to make such a beautiful love story with Morax? They don’t mention the present name they gave Morax though, such a shame. Maybe it was due to old age, they wrote it until the last moments of their life after all. Anyway, I have to get back to work but enjoy reading that masterpiece!"

He feels his heart swell in pride upon knowing his lover had his wish come true. His nimble fingers carefully open the pages of the book and hours later, as he sat inside the Funeral Parlor after taking the novel home, he finds himself absorbing each and every word Cheng have written, the loneliness sitting idly inside him subsiding little by little.

I found solace in the countless cups of tea you brew whenever I encounter distress with my works, the endless stories you tell with a smile so beautiful that not even the most heavenly scenery can vanquish, but most of them all, the feeling of your hand intertwining with mine, providing me with serenity no one else has ever done before. Under the moonlit night of Liyue, I remember your wistful amber eyes, staring deep into my soul as you proclaim your love and desire for me. How foolish was it of me to think that I could live this life without even experiencing such warmth and intimacy?

It is a banality, really — how I wish to become a well-known writer with unique tales and yet the story I am telling is something so common to folks that they have most probably heard similar ones before. But I guess this is what it means to love and to be loved. Everything is like a cycle that just keeps on being repeated, yet we never get tired of it, of the feelings it brings. So, thank you, Morax. Words will never be sufficient to show how grateful I am to you for showing me a whole new world but I suppose this is still a way for me to give back to you.

With this little book of mine, I hope my heart reaches yours regardless of how many eras may have passed before and after us. So, my beloved, do not be too lonely without me. Even if you find yourself longing for my presence, just open this and my heart shall be with you.

This belongs to you, it always will.

And I do, as well.

[miss-moon-guardian]

And a lyric for each of them

One: I'll hold it all more loosely, and yet somehow much more dearly. 'Cause I've spent my whole life searching desperately to find out that grace requires nothing. Grace requires nothing of me

Two: No I don't wanna talk about myself tell me where it hurts. I just want to build you up, build you up 'til you're good as new, and maybe one day I will get around to fixing myself too

Five: And now I want to generously lose this energy that I've been hanging onto so desperately. I finally feel the universe expand. It's hidden in heartbeats exhales and in the hope of open hands.

Six: With a vigilant heart I'll push into the dark, But I'll learn to breathe deep and make peace with the stars.

Seven: How nice it'd be if we could try everything, I'm serious, let's make a list and just begin. What about danger? So what, what about risk? Let's climb the mountain before we cross that bridge.

Eight: My healing needed more than time. When I see fragile things, helpless things, broken things I see the familiar. I was little, I was weak, I was perfect, too; Now I'm a broken mirror.

Nine: It looks like empathy to understand all sides. But I'm just trying to find myself through someone else's eyes.

-

[fictionkinfessions]

it's been a while, mm?

promise i didn't disappear forever, haha! merely a busy, busy life. and... hm.

more of the bears have been ascending. this is good-- i am past my initial distress in the belief i wasn't good enough for them anymore. quite embarrassed i ever felt that way. but... it also comes with the realization that things will one day close. and of course i will never stop visiting them! but... one day, they will all be at peace.

so. i thought to make this. forgive me in advance for its length. i doubt any of them are out there as it is. but... i wish to say how i feel no matter what.

charlotte of pine. you are forgiven. despite all you did, you are utterly forgiven. and you meant a lot to me when you were alive, a small scout trooping around the island, lending a hand to whoever needed it, even if it was through unsavory methods. you learned what you did wrong. i forgive you. we all do.

jeremy of gruffle. you have nothing to be sorry for anymore, small workshopper. you made mistakes. but who didn't? you were loved. you are loved. i love you. you are stellar. let nobody tell you otherwise.

billweather of snout. captain! i do hope you're doing better now, you silly bird! ah, you'd hate if you heard me say that... haha. you are a special little spirit, so unique in your brand of... well. what kept you tethered. and you improved so much! i am very proud of you. i always was. keep your head high, seagull.

patrice of furbac. i imagine you're working just as hard as you always were on the island, haha! it was admirable, your way of trooping on through rain and snow! i aspired to be just as passionate as you. you loved flowers. i always thought you were wonderous. my friend in this life likes you quite a bit, too! heh. but rest assured, you are allowed to take a break. i miss you.

francesca of claw. your books were such a breakthrough to me when i found you had them. literature was a rare gift in my time, so to see you reading it so freely, with such passion...! i critiqued it for not holding words of the holy spirits back then, but truly, i found it a breath of fresh air. remarkable! your craft was such a sight to behold, too. i quite miss seeing it from across the island. you'd love the stories in this new world. there are so many i want to show you.

allison of fisher! are you better at baking in this life? i personally enjoyed your treats, but food in my life was rather... fickle. maybe even moreso than your cement cupcakes. but you needn't hear my jokes-- i truly do appreciate how loving you were, your sheer adoration for your craft... it was wonderful to witness. keep working hard. we love you.

valentina of oso-fisher. perhaps you are one of the ones i miss the most. you were so driven, so passionate! and you reminded me so much of myself, back when the priesthood was beside me. i wished you only the best. i still do. get yourself a coffee. something nice. take a deep breath. you are loved for who you are. i miss you. take care of yourself-- if for nobody else, then for me.

lee of dennings. i miss your baking the most, veggie bear. the apple pies and peach cobblers and fritters-- hah! it was truly a delight. i'm not much good at baking now, though i've been trying. i hope one day to replicate your food. i hope you're staying relatively tidy. take care.

arjun of bhalla. are you still stunned by the beauty of photography? i'll admit, i did not enjoy the way the game illustrated your story. it bothered me a bit. but that was never anything against you. you had no control in how they wrote it. i remember looking at the stars with you one time-- you knew so much about the constellations above. it reminded me of my emperor. thank you for that.

octavia of cubbins. i have to wonder how you are in this life, after how the world treated you in the past. it was dreadful. but you stayed strong, you accepted help when you wanted it, and you learned that it doesn't make you weak to want someone there for you. i hope you didn't forget that. i hope your wife is out there, somewhere. thank you for showing me independence is not as despicable as the priesthood insisted. you are wonderful.

clyde of wallace! sir wallace, even! haha, i remember you convinced his majesty that you were a knight, and he would call your sir wallace every time... it was amusing. even i bought into it, once, but you said you hated lying to me. it was flattering, in a way. sleep well. have a coffee (but not too much! do they still sell sanka, mm?). i remember bruin of tram cared for you quite a bit. i do, too. valentina of oso-fisher, lillian of quill.... they all did. i love you.

bruin of tram. you meant so much to me. you still do. i ascended you today, and hearing your tale... it brought tears to my eyes. in this life, i struggle with the same things you did. you mean the world to me! seeing someone with the same obstacles in life succeeding, having an (after)life to live and not being shamed for your flaws... i care about you with all i have.

ursula of pine. you were a motherly figure to all you knew, and it meant everything to me. i... never had a mother. i was abandoned at the doorstep of a church when i was too young to remember her. you were the first semblance of a mother i ever had, and it meant the world when you were there to help me tend to my flowers and bake with me and tell me stories. perhaps it sounds childish of me. i don't know. thank you. i love you.

ted of sapsen. as an autistic person in this life and many of my previous ones... what you did for me, what your story said to my heart? it means so very much. i hope you're enjoying your rocks. thank you. continue to live your truth.

...my emperor. my majesty, my love, my king. thank you. thank you for loving me, thank you for always being there, thank you for being my one shining light among a world of darkness, thank you for being you. i'd still do anything for your smile. i adore you. i only hope you still do as well. i wish you only the absolute best. i love you with every bit of my being.

dalia of cosgrove. ...i'm still unsure if i forgive you. after what you did both in my timeline and in the game, you... aren't the highest in my book. but i wish you no ill will. i know you must regret what you did. i hope you do. thank you, still, for your efforts to redeem yourself. you are loved.

lillian of quill. do not overwork yourself. you are wanted as you are. clyde of wallace missed you, i know. get a coffee. make a small origami critter for company, if you do not have anyone else. stay strong.

ben of hiberneczek. you have made mistakes and you know it. but you understand what you did wrong. you appreciate what you had. you have improved, both in that life and in this one, i hope. you were always such an interesting spirit. i liked you quite a bit. stay safe, good sir.

archie of pawston. do not slip into bad habits. you are allowed to be true to yourself. though i did quite like that party you hosted, haha! quite a ball. first time i ever had a hangover, too! i did not even know the name for it until you told me that morning on the note next to breakfast. you burnt the bacon. it still tasted okay. i still appreciated you.

beatrice of mellifera. i hope you've found someone who truly loves you. i know you didn't much like flowers in that life, but... i still grew some for you. yellow beebalm. fitting, no? haha. thank you for showing me passion. i hope you are well.

i love you all.

good night.

- pius of grizz, cozy grove (#💐🐌🐝)

'

[firelord-frowny]

i promise im not trying to sound Special when i lament about how alien i feel from the rest of the world - or at least the rest of the community I'm surrounded by* - buuuuuuuuuuut

consider the question "where do you want to be in life?"

People usually answer that by expressing a desire to move up in their career and pursue their dream job. Maybe they wanna get married. Maybe they want financial freedom. They want to lose unhealthy habits and learn healthier ones. They want to go get their masters degree. their phd. they wanna buy their dream car.

But when I answer that question - when someone asks me where I want to be in life - I really tell them WHERE.

I describe a location. Not a job, or a lifestyle, or a relationship.

I want to be in Alaska (or any similarly wild and wide region a la Gaines, PA). I want to live far enough away from major roadways that I can go hours at a time - maybe even days - without hearing a car pass by. I want there to be a direction I can look in where I won't see anything manmade - only the bare naked landscape of earth, the way the earth meant for itself to be. I want it to get so dark at night that the milky way casts a shadow in the summertime. I want to see auroras. I want it to snow in winter. A lot. I want to look outside and see rare birds.

I could land my dream job and meet the love of my life and become a multi millionaire and I could win an oscar for best original screenplay and I could be part of an award wining string quartet and I could publish books and i STILL would not be happy, because the only thing that I truly value besides the health and safety of my loved ones is the ability to feel connected to the planet that humankind evolved in.

I wanna breathe the air we breathed 50,000 years ago. I wanna water the plants I pick my fruit from. I wanna see the stars that our most ancient ancestors learned to rely on. And I don't care what kind of ~wellness~ and ~self care~ and ~mental health~ bullshit anyone ever tries to do. You cannot compensate for or substitute the mental/spiritual fulfillment that comes from experiencing life on earth in a way that's in harmony with the natural processes of the universe.

It makes me fucking sick to my stomach when some smiling news anchor babbles the report from on their teleprompter that lectures about how "studies show that spending at least 15 minutes a day outdoors in a natural area can improve your mood!"

15 minutes? is this a fucking joke to you? I live my life in a concrete hellscape of putrid air, lights that never get turned off as they flicker and buzz, high-pitched electronic noise frequencies that set my nerves on fire, and you wanna fucking condescend to me about how Fifteen Minutes Or More Could Save You 15% On Existential Emptiness??? i fucking HATE you.

When I tell people how utterly hollow I feel in this urban wasteland of bricks and asphalt and right angles, they're eager to tell me all about the Lots Of Really Nice Parks In The Area. They really think they're giving me useful information. They feel genuinely happy to have bestowed me with knowledge that will make it all better. They really think strolling a few times around the fitness trail a Allen Pond is gonna fill me with peace. They really think I'll find calm and clarity at the national arboretum. They don't understand the the thing I need from the world does not exist here within a 200 mile radius. Do you get it??? It's like living on a diet of nothing but potato chips. It'll keep me alive for a good while, but I'm still going to die prematurely from a heart attack or whatever.

I hate it here and therapy and deep breathing cannot ever fix that.

I just need to GET OUT.