#✘ — EX PROBLEM

[krysmcscience]

Did somebody say Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear? I think somebody said Bill shouldn't be allowed to swear. Thanks to that, have these retooled The Good Place jokes:

The "powers that be" can refer to either the Theraprism staff, the Axolotl, or just. Ya know. Disney in general. Or all three! Whichever you think is funniest. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The "party" Bill's referring to is Weirdmageddon, of course. He was quite the ashhole to everyone back then.

Ford has probably gotten pretty good at the 'tune out your psychopathic ex with dank memes' challenge.

It must be very cathartic to be able to make Bill shut up whenever you want with just the press of a button. I'm sure Ford doesn't abuse this ability at all.

Oh, sure, 'Not now,' he says, before he immediately backs out of the newly-made hole in the Theraprism wall. 🙄

Don't worry, Bill doesn't get far.

also yeah i know this one doesn't have an attempted swear - i just wanted to use the joke because of the massive stink-eye involved in it because it makes me laugh

⬇️ More goofs beneath the brief ramble if you wanna skip it lmao⬇️

Why is Ford even there, you might ask? Well, he either decided he preferred to watch Bill suffer in person over being distantly and repeatedly harassed with the same evil desperation book for the rest of his life, or he got roped into some kind of contrived community service for 1.) all his many counts of interdimensional thievery, and 2.) his ignoring all the very clear warnings to NOT summon Bill in the first place (which I like to imagine is also illegal). Theraprism staff were just like, 'Wait, this guy matters to Bill? Ooh, we can USE that! It might be the only thing that can help him want to get better!' It is not considered that throwing Ford at Bill so soon after Weirdmageddon could instead make them both WORSE - in new and altogether special ways! :D

Anyway, I'm calling it the Community Service AU, and I am most likely not going to do anything else with it beyond appropriating these silly Good Place jokes. So, feel free to adopt the concept if y'all wanna??? Just make sure that Bill is still not allowed to swear, no matter what, full stop. It's gotta be a real linguistic corkblork of a situation for him, is all I'm sayin'.

Finally, have these bonus Good Place jokes, but with Handyman!Bill this time:

'Opposite tortures' doesn't sound so bad...at least until it's an all-powerful chaos entity known for torture saying it.

you may think i forgot mabel's cute pink cheeks but the truth is that i did in fact forget but then immediately stopped caring which makes it okay, SHHHHHHH

And, finally:

lmao this is shit

True facts, if you cram Season 1 Eleanor Shellstrop and Michael into a singular triangle shape, they turn into Bill Cipher. This is science, look it up. Or don't, and just trust the source that is me, bro.

Anyway, I should be in bed, y'all have fun with these, I guess. Tune in after like a week or so and maybe I'll have an addendum to my comic about how Bill was drawn naked for karaoke night. Because him actually being naked was not the only thing I considered as a plausible explanation. XD

Also if you see any inconsistencies or errors in any of these comics, No You Do Not :D

Also also, reblogs are rad as hell and I appreciate every single one, just don't repost, please and thanks. Every time a repost is made, an artist somewhere cries. :,)

[ex-jock-enthusiast]

As cuffing season tightens its wintery grip, @chasing-gayns on insta reminds me of the immortal words of SZA, a mantra to hold fast to as the nights draw in: 'I want a big boy, I need a big boy, gimme a big boy.'

[rigormortisangel]

i wish people understood that fps in BPD are against our will

[pinkponydiaz]

eddie diaz number one gossip, starts a rumor buck has a new boyfriend but says he doesn’t know who, just that it’s new, chimney spirals because he needs to know, bobby is happy but concerned because he doesn’t want to deal with eddie being a weirdo about bucks new partner again, hen and karen are prepping another shovel talk that will get cut from the show again, and then a few weeks later hen opens the ambulance doors because bobby told her buck was doing inventory and he better not be fucking up her ambulance and buck is sitting on the gurney, eddie fucking diaz in his lap and they both look up when she gasps, buck is blushing, eddie is smirking because that motherfucker started a rumor about himself!! because hes choosing joy and joy is causing drama at work and making out with his boyfriend thank you

[brionysea]

I mean, leverage does have copaganda in it. it's miles more leftist than most shows, especially ones that are based on Real Crimes That Actually Happened (leverage crimes were committed by rich people and they don't demonize mental illness for no reason) and it's very vocally anti-capitalist in a fashion that's extremely cathartic, but don't misrepresent it, there is still copaganda in leverage

[glokyo]

18+ (moderate smut... don't be scared.)

warnings; !meandom, choking, small manhandling, jealousy, possessiveness. synopsis; !exbf Satoru couldn't be more disappointed in you. Why choose anyone else but him?

Satoru knew he wasn't the best person to date. He would never deny he wasn't the best lover when dating you. Or in general. He just couldn't come to terms that he'd be a good boyfriend.

Oh no. he was too insecure for that.

No matter how much you comforted him, reassured him; he'd turn around and doubt himself all over again. Claiming he'd never love you good, how he's such a bad boyfriend, how he can never do anything right.

It got so bad to the point, he had to leave you. He didn't want to be a burden to you, of course not. And god, did it break your sweet little heart. Satoru left you in shambles; you doubted your own ability to love. How could he sabotage the relationship this way? Why couldn't he just believe you?

Satoru tried to let go, he tried and it just got harder and harder to move on. So hard to move on when you took him the best, clenching your plump walls around his fat cock. Fucked him the best.

5 months after your breakup, he learns you're going on a date with another man. no, no, no. You're so dumb, so silly.

Satoru loves you soso much, he always has. Why would you ever need anyone else?

You only need him.

It's a total shame, really. That beautiful dress you took so long to come up with, your lovely hair that equally took you so long. Your dress, now scattered on the floor, your hair a complete mess; tousled and wild, currently being tugged on.

Satoru pulled your head towards his, his large calloused hand gripped your hair and his spare wrapping around your pretty neck firmly. Fat cock pumping in your fat sticky pussy. You're against the wall in the hallway, couldn't even make it out the door before he caught you, baiting you in with sweet pleads.

He knits his eyebrows together, blue eyes staring right into yours with raging intensity, speaking with his beautiful deep voice. The same voice that got you here in the first place.

"Y'think y'can move on f'me like that? Hm?" He grunts, punctuating his anger with a thrust, grunting. Satoru tightens the grip in your hair, making you wince. He missed you, so much. He loves you so much and the simple thought of a fucking disgusting fuck touching his woman put rage in his body.

You belonged to him, body and soul. And you should know that. "He could never fuck y'like this. Could never make y'cum like I do." He whispers, leaning down to nibble at your earlobe. "Mine. You're all fucking mine. Say it." He squeezes your hips, pushing your ass closer against him, thrusting deep. You moan, clawing at the paint. "Say you're all mine..." He repeats.

No one else deserved the feeling of enjoying your puffy pussy around their dick. No one else deserved the angelic noises coming out your mouth. No one.

"C'mon, Toru'. Ngh- I'm yours- ah! I am!" You pull your lip in, biting on it. He pulls your head back, exposing your neck to his gaze. He was hungry, mad, primal.

Satoru slows down momentarily, giving you deep, slow strokes. The strokes that drove you insane no matter what. "Good girl... such a good girl, my baby... Did you miss me?" He mumbles in between kisses on your soft flesh, leaning forward slightly to run his tongue against your throat.

"Oh my god..." You moan, pressing your ass back against his twitching cock, hand moving back to grip his sweaty white hair.

"Mmmfuck, Did you miss having m'cock in y'like this? Fuckin this tight little pussy... y'feel s' good, baby.." He whispered, moving your hand from his hair, intertwining your fingers. "Yes- ah! Yes, Toru'! yesyesyes!! Hngh!!"

You had him wrapped around your finger and that was all you needed.

note; hiiiiii!!!!!! gimme dat hundred for the best possessive man out here

[zivazivc]

a collection of old doodles and forgotten wips

[tension4mari]

LOL I forgot to click this and not comment on your requests post 😭😭 can you please do a nsfw Namgyu x reader fic!!! Oh and can you make him mean… I just know that man is mean

Ahaha, you guys are something 😭.. But I am here to give what the people want!

-`♡´-Paring- Exbf!Nam-gyu x Fem!Reader

-`♡´-Warnings- Sex, blowjobs, Reader gets eaten out, cursing, toxic Nam-gyu , possessive behavior, not pfroofread.

-`♡´-Summary- You somehow found your way in a place where children games are being played and your life is on the line, Every. Single. Game. deciding you're not going out sad you decided to filrt with the one and only Myung-gi. The man who scammed your ex-boyfriend out of all his money. Nam-gyu don't appreciate that.

-`♡´-You wake up inside a room filled with hundreds of people you can only guess. Getting up from the awfully loud music playing you make your way towards the middle of the room. Hearing people complaining about nonsense, like they didn't put themselves in this situation.

-`♡´-They make you all head to a room filled with lots of color. They were making everyone smile at cameras "Tch, creepy much..." you mumble "Right. what the fuck are we even doing." a girl beside you spoke you look down and her number read 196

-`♡´-Before you spoke a guy called out to you both "Hey. You both want to come on this too?" 'Come on" he say urging you both into a photo with some random people. As if you'll take a photo with some creep with purple hair.

-`♡´- You were walking away, taking one more look over your shoulder and back at the guy with the purple hair and his little minions before your eyes are pulled to a special someone

-`♡´-Nam-gyu. What the hell is he doing here? you think to yourself before hurriedly turning away. He saw your retreating figure before clenching his jaw continuing his way towards where you all were being forced to go to

-`♡´-You didn't even think you were going to make it out alive. The girl you were speaking to sure as hell didn't. You all were back in that room. As you sat on your bed all you could think about was Nam-gyu, you didn't even know it, but you were scared.

-`♡´-Deciding to not think about it you got up from your bed going to at least try to be social you spotted a certain person. The man that 'scammed' your ex-boyfriend from his money, walking up to him he was already looking at you.

-`♡´-'Hey! What's your name?" you ask with a smile on your face "Uhm..Myung_gi" he replies before looking at you with stupid eyes "Hm.. Cute name you got there! What's your last name? I might want to share it with you!" you put one of your hands on your hip and the other on his bicep, you could see the guy face burning with red. You secretly laugh to yourself

-`♡´-"Its-" before he could speak his eyes were pulled behide your figure and you furrowed your eyebrows, turning around you were met with your Nam-gyu. "y/n, what the fuck are you doing!?" he says looking down at you angrily, you freeze stareing at him before speaking "Uh.. I'm minding my god damn business, what about you?" You try to sound confident, not wanting him to know how scared you actually were. He stares at before nodding his head, chuckling "Alright, I see how it is bitch" he says before turning away.

-`♡´-You hesitantly made your way back to your bed, digging a feeling someone was watching you. Wanting to dig a whole and climb in it you just sit on your bed before lights go out.

-`♡´-You woke up in the middle of the night, having to use the restroom you found your way towards a door knocking on it. "Helloo?? is somewhere in there? I have to peeee" you exaggerate groaning. Some guard with a square mask looks thru the peep hole "Hey! I have to use the bathroom, can you open the door please" you say smiling nicely at the guard

-`♡´-They closed the peep hole back up "What the fuck?" "Hey man I need to use the bathroom, I'm on my period!" you blabber out a lie "Shit... I might leak through these cheap ass sweatpants!"

-`♡´-Soon enough they open the door allowing you to go to the restroom "Apparently you can't be nice to people in here." you whisper under your breathe.

-`♡´-You easily make your way to the women's bathroom, going in a stall and closing it, you hear the bathroom door open then close. Whoever they were they mad themselves towards the stall you were in knocking on the stall. "I'm here in!" you call out.

-`♡´-'Thump thump thump', knocking again. "I said I'm fucking in here! Its plenty of stall for you to go in! stop being annoying!" you yell, getting up and flushing the toilet "Alright whoever you are you can get this fucking stall I'm doing pissing." you mumble before unlocking the stall and opening it, just to find yourself face to face with Nam-gyu.

-`♡´-"What the fuck are you doing in here you damn weirdo!" shock is ridden all over your face with a hit of scariness, God you didn't like this feeling one bit. "Stop being so bitchy, y'know you miss me!" he replies Laughy, you scoff "As if." you say stepping aside to go wash your hands. "Where do you think you damn going!?" he says with a hint of anger

-`♡´-"Your gonna leave again? Hm? because if you think you are your fucked in the head." he walks up to your turned body, hands resting on your hip tight enough to hurt. "Let go of me you dickface!" you can't help but feel a little bad for leaving him at his lowest, after he lost all his money you had to think for yourself, knowing if you stayed you would have been in more debt than what you had.

-`♡´-His hands still on your waist, he brings his face into the crack of your neck "Hey man, I said let me go. you're starting to piss me off." you spoke hoping he would let you go, which he didn't. "Why'd you leave me 'y/n'? he spoke softly in your neck, you're quiet. "I asked you a question, why did you fucking leave me?" he said getting angrier "I gave you fucking everything!" "And you left me. You were always such a bitch" he spoke moving his hand from your waist towards the curve of your ass. groping and you can't help but melt in his touch.

-`♡´-"Did you leave me so you could be with that god damn scammer?" he speak before moving his face back into your neck, mouth latching onto your skin. you silently moan from him sucking on your sweet spot he knew oh so well.

-`♡´-"Where you going to let him fuck you?" he asks getting mad at his own question. Hands going onto the waistband of your sweatpants pulling them down, he stares at the outline of your pussy, groaning before using his hand to feel the slit of you pussy in your panties. he then brings his now hard dick to rub against your ass

-`♡´-"Oh-Fuck." he groans while he leans his head back. "I bet you still taste amazing." he says before pulling your panties down to your ankles. Getting onto his knees, he's looking directly at your wet cunt.

-`♡´-"You fucking slut..." he mumbles before smashing his face onto your pussy licking, and sucking like his life depended on it. "Ah-ah shit Nam-gyu..." Moaning out his name

-`♡´-He brings his hands in-between your thighs spreading them apart even more. "Im gonna cummm" you moan "Don't stop Nam-gyu-". He then stops, your wet slick all over his face. "What the fuck?" you come from your dazzled state. "You really thought I'll let you come that easily after all that shit you put me through?" he laughs.

-`♡´-He stands up freeing his harden dick from his pants, smacking it on your wetness before shoving his dick in you fully. "Ow, shit!" you turn your head back staring at him. "Shut the hell up you dumb bitch" he pulls out of you before going back in again.

-`♡´-"You always had a mouth on you..." "Talking like you were better than everyone" he says groaning, dick still going back in fourth in your cunt roughly. "Yeah? so what." you mumble under your breath still taking him fully. "It makes me hard." he says still fucking you hard. "Thats because you're a fucking creep!"

-`♡´-"Yet, you're letting me fuck you." he says groaning "Thats all i ever needed you for-" he pulls out of you in a fast pace grabbing your hair throwing you on the ground. "Oh yea? You're nothing but a fucking slut." he speaks out

-`♡´-You're now on your knees looking up at him "I'm going to use that nasty mouth of yours to finally shut you the hell up." he says going to grab his dick slapping it on your face softly "Open up bitch" you have no choice, so you obey to his request, "Good girl." he whispers before shoving himself down your throat.

-`♡´-"Your mouth s-still feels so good-" he's now breathing heavily, almost near his end. He's so rough. You try to tap his thighs letting him know you can't breathe. He only stares down at you before grabbing your hair pushing himself more into your mouth. "F-fuck-" he's groaning loudly, and you can barely hear your thoughts, you seriously can't fucking breathe.

-`♡´-Your eyes start to form tears, and all he's doing is staring at you. "This is what you fucking get-" he breaths out before releasing himself in your mouth. He pulls himself out your now sore throat. You have your mouth opened with all his cum. he grabs your jaw roughly. "Swallow it" he says sternly. you close your mouth before swallowing all his seed. "Lemme see, open your mouth." you obey and open your mouth.

-`♡´-"Good." he says before letting go of your jaw, lightly tapping you on your face. He pulls his close on before heading towards the door "If I ever see you speaking to that fucking freak again. I'm will kill you both." he says before leaving.

-`♡´-"wow. What a bitch" you say before getting up and washing your mouth out, cleaning yourself up. You stare at yourself in the mirror. "I didn't even get to cum..." you say sadly while leaving the bathroom.

Ugh. I tried 😩

[wishchip106]

i’m still just thinking about how in apocalypse the thing that stops magneto from destroying the world is an edit of charles just seeing the good in him.

🤨

not even his DEAD wife and daughter?

or maybe mutants from the brotherhood?

nope. charles

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Chat, I regret to inform you that I have added a new hyperfixation…so…

Agatha All Along Incorrect Quotes!

Alice: Hold the fuck up.

Also Alice, crawling into Lilia’s lap: It’s me. I’m the fuck up. Hold me.

Rio: I have an idea!

Jen: No murder.

Rio, sighing petulantly: I no longer have an idea.

Lilia: I have a bad feeling about this…

Agatha: What do you mean?

Alice: Don’t you ever get that little voice in the back of your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?

Agatha: No.

Jen: That actually explains so much.

Lilia: As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had this little voice in my head telling me to “live it up today, because there’s not gonna be a lot of tomorrows”.

Agatha: You do realize there’s medication designed to get rid of those kinds of voices, right?

Teen: A bird flew in through my window and I’m trying to befriend it.

*later*

Agatha: Why don’t you quit bothering me and go talk to your bird friend?

Teen: Matthew and I are not speaking at the moment.

*the coven, huddling together behind a makeshift shelter to shield themselves from repeated gunshots*

Alice, hastily shoving the others behind her so she can return fire: Agatha, do you have any idea who would want to shoot you?!

Agatha, squashed between Jen and Rio: Many people want to shoot me. I take great pride in that!

Jen, glaring at the group as she hands over bail money:

Alice, tapping her shoulder: What about Teen?

Jen, glaring more: I’ve got to bail him out too? Where’s Agatha?

Teen: No one called her. We used Lilia’s phone call to call Alice and Rio’s to call you. Then Rio used my phone call to vote for American Idol.

Rio: :)

Jen: Rio isn’t answering her phone.

Agatha: Here, I’ll try.

Jen: Alice and I have tried six times each, what makes you think that-

Rio, picking up on the first ring: Hey, sweetheart.

Agatha: The ends always justify the means!

Jen: Do you know who said that?

Agatha: Was it Oprah or someone nice and great like that?

Jen: It was Machiavelli. A decidedly non-Oprah like person.

Jen: I bet you didn’t even finish the thing I asked you to get done!

Agatha: For your information, I most certainly did! Got it done last night!

Teen, whispering to Agatha: You didn’t get it done, did you?

Agatha, whispering back: I don’t even know what she’s talking about.

Lilia: I am at a loss for words!

Teen, glancing at the camera like his mom like he’s on The Office: Despite being lost for words, Lilia yelled at us for the next 45 minutes.

Agatha, carrying Señor Scratchy out of the room:

Señor Scratchy: *snuggles under her chin*

Agatha, kissing his head: You are being punished. Please stop being adorable. I love you.

Teen: I got a trampoline tent for summer sleepovers!

Jen, whispering to the other adult witches: …think of all the sex.

Alice: There are two types of people.

Rio: If you wanted to eat someone, you could put a fire under it and slowly roast them :)

Lilia: …three. Three types of people.

Jen, cautiously: I can’t believe I didn’t notice this before, but…Teen, you are a little crazy.

Teen: Aren’t we all a little crazy here, Jen?

Jen: No, I mean you’re aging-ballerina, child-chess-prodigy, professional magician kind of crazy.

Teen: It’s my mom’s fault. You know, we come from a Jewish family, but she used to tell me the reason Santa didn’t come was because my room was too dirty.

Rio: I’ve come looking for trouble. And if I can’t find trouble, I WILL create some.

Alice: Do you trust me?

Lilia, smiling proudly at her: Yes.

Alice, who has been completely panicking: Wait, what? Why?!

Agatha, awkwardly glancing around for help: Er…Alice, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what to say to people who are crying. So I’m just gonna hope that the tone of my voice makes you think I do, okay, sweetie?

Alice, sniffling: …thanks, Agatha.

Agatha, patting her on the back with a bit too much enthusiasm: No problem, kid.

Lilia: I told Agatha about it weeks ago!

Teen: She WHAT?

Agatha: What??? Lilia says insane shit all the time, how was I supposed to know this one was true?!

Lilia: Bank accounts are a sham created by the shadow government!

Agatha: SEE?!

BONUS:

Wanda, watching from the afterlife: so…when exactly do kids grow out of that whole emo, rebellious stage?

Lorna, shrugging: I don’t know. Alice is still in it.

[varilien]

ive been wanting to do some redraws of the gravity falls art i made as a kid n since it's seasonally appropriate, here's some magician au doodles ^^

and just in case i don't come back to draw it again any time soon here's my thoughts so far on the topic and the original art circa smn like. idk maybe 2015 or 2016?? i wish i'd put the date on anything from back then lol

Palestine: Funds | Action | eSims | Info

Sudan Resources | Congo Resource | Lebanese Red Cross

i might change the designs later on but at this point i thought it'd be most fun to just kinda leave it really close to the originals :3

anyways!!

okay so gravity falls magician au. plotwise it's all actually about the same, the twins might be a little older actually, like 15 or 16 (maybe they've visited gravity falls in the past?), but whatever. they get sent to a sleepy little village in the woods to stay w their great uncle. magic runs in the pines family, although no currently living pines is thought to have any notable capability. healing a scratch or finding something u lost under ur bed, basically. magic is actually probably a lot more common and mundane in this world than canon, so gravity falls' weirdness as a region comes more from the intensity and unpredictable nature of the magic found there

anyways the BIGGEST plot difference is that i like the idea of the kids meeting bill pretty early on. he introduces himself as a seasoned familiar looking to get back in touch with his old partner. now, bill is a breath of fresh air for dipper in particular, who finally has someone he can speak frankly with about the weird experiences he's been having, but even tho bill loves nothing more than spilling secrets and arcane knowledge, he's not really able to do so as he'd like to. he's got TONS of spells placed on him for the express purpose of keeping him quiet, but there's a few things bill has been able to elude to if nothing else: 1, he knows who the author of the grimoire dipper found in the woods is. 2, he knows stan pines' great secret. and 3, he knows how to access magical power beyond comprehension

hehe idk i just like the idea of bill spending possibly months mentoring and making friends w the kids fully planning on just using them for his own gain the entire time but. well. maybe it's nice not being alone anymore too. tho he'd never admit it

[biolumien]

Saw some of your Hoshina Fics and it was stellar! Absolutely fucking amazing. You don’t know how damn happy I am to see Kaiju No.8 on my page. Your writing is phenomenal.

With that in mind, would it be possible to get another Hoshina request in? Preferably a Hurt/Comfort scenario. Maybe they’d have argued or something and they’re forced to actually confront each other’s insecurities. Because we like flawed adults going through their issues ✨together✨

If you’d like a more solidified vibe, try listening to Unsweetened Lemonade by Amélie Farren. It might give you some ideas!

I hope you have a wonderful day ahead of you!! :DD

notes: thank you so much for ur kind words ;-;; wahh... i love angst,... and functional relationships.... which is why i always write relationships on the verge of collapse... also thank you for the song rec!

hemming and hawing

soshiro hoshina x gn!reader theres a bit of drinking, but nothing extreme. word count: 1834

hoshina isn’t really good at communicating. for being the vice captain of a squadron of elite soldiers, where communication was often the difference between life and death–he’s really fucking bad at communication–or at least, the kind that requires you to be personal with other people.

he’s been ignoring you for days.

you’re not even sure why, at this point. you’d thought whatever relationship you were kindling was going fine, right? you weren’t exactly sure where the two of you stood, but you liked each other plenty, right? right? 

right?

so why was hoshina ignoring you? why did he sit so far away, make constant excuses to get up and leave? what the fuck was wrong with him? every time you’d grabbed him to talk–oftentimes having to physically hold him by the arm, because he’d often keep trying to walk away from you–he’d respond with one-word answers, not quite looking at you. you’d sit at your desk, so restless that your leg would bang against the underside of the table just wondering what the fuck was wrong with him. 

were his feelings a fluke?

hell, were yours?

what the fuck had you done wrong?

had you done something wrong? had you overstepped a boundary somewhere? but then again, how could you have? how could you have overstepped a boundary if he never made clear what his boundaries were? were you insane? what the fuck were you doing? or maybe the better question to ask is was soshiro hoshina worth this amount of hemming and hawing? was it worth it to lose your mind over his stupid face, when you saw him laugh at something okonogi said, or exchange quips with ashiro? was it worth it, when you knew he used to make the same faces towards you, used to look at you with something like measured affection behind his eyes–

you slam your head so hard against your desk that you can feel it starting to bruise.

no. no matter what, you were losing your mind over soshiro hoshina, damn him! damn him!

it keeps going on like this for a couple days–you try to talk to hoshina, he shrugs you off faster than any competent sentence you could possibly string together can form, and he leaves. the rest of the third division seems to notice, too–you’ve noticed twice in a row okonogi giving you a worried look. it wasn’t a hidden secret or anything that you and hoshina got along quite well, so if even okonogi was giving you a weird look…

you’d shrug, simply, give her a smile, and ignore the raging tire fire burning under your skin.

the next time you get a moment with hoshina is during a celebration party following a successful mission. you pour yourself a healthy glass of the strongest alcohol you can manage, and chug down the entire thing in one gulp, wiping your mouth inelegantly with your sleeve. and then out of the corner of your eye–

hoshina’s watching you with a half-interested look–a look more interested and engaged with you than any other time in the past few weeks–and you think the sight of that makes you angrier–so unbelievably angry, paired with new fire from alcohol underneath. 

you turn to grab hoshina by the collar, glaring up at him–

“hey, now,” hoshina says with a light laugh. “had a little too much to drink, darling?”

darling.

oh, this fucking jackass–you think you almost see red, your teeth grinding together, and you can almost feel your lips peeling back in the facsimile of a snarl. 

“you don’t get to call me that,” you whisper, voice shaking with anger, “not after you’ve fucking blown me off for weeks, soshiro.”

hoshina’s crimson eyes open a little more, staring down at you, right where your hand tightens against his shirt. you’re lucky that the hubbub of the party is keeping everyone from staring at you, which you’re furtively grateful for. you think, that maybe you see hurt reflected in his eyes, but that’s fucking ridiculous. why does he deserve to hurt? he’s the one who fucking blew you off, who didn’t talk to you for weeks despite the two of you clearly reciprocating feelings. what did he have to hurt over? 

“i’m sorry,” hoshina mutters, and he leans forward–

“don’t fucking TOUCH me!”

your voice is louder than you’d like, and that gets a couple eyes on you.

your face feels red, and you drop hoshina’s shirt. hoshina’s eyes are still watching you, his gaze unreadable for a moment before he turns to the eyes watching you, a warm smile–a clear facade, loud and clear to you, but imperceptible to most others. you know hoshina, now–you’d watched him, studied him with intensity. he couldn’t hide from you, even if he wanted to. which made the fact he’d spent weeks ignoring you more infuriating–which made this current facade, a pretending thing–so much more infuriating.

“sorry, everyone,” hoshina says. “seems like our lovely engineer here might’ve had a little too much to drink. come on, i’ll walk you back.” he looks back down at you.

his eyes have that same strange hurt still reflected in his eyes.

something about it tears your heart across unevenly. 

“okay,” you say stupidly, and you let hoshina handle your body, swing your arm over his shoulder as he pulls you up. 

the walk back sobers you up just enough–enough to realize that you’re absolutely fucking mortified–did you seriously grab him? but the better question was why didn’t he stop you? why had he just let you yell at him? why had he looked at you like that, with hurt and something like pity in his eyes? and you couldn’t even figure out what you were more mad at–

could he have done it because he thought he deserved it? 

hoshina opens up the door to your dormitory, letting you make your way to your bed. you slumped down, pressing your back against where your bed met the wall. 

“i’ll leave you alone,” hoshina murmurs. “get some rest.”

you’re angry again, upon hearing him say that. how could a guy like him push your buttons so easily? 

“so you’re just going to leave again?” you snap. “how the fuck is that fair? that’s all you’ve been fucking doing, leaving me even though all i want is to talk.  i thought you liked me!”

you hate how your voice cracks at the end, and you raise up your legs to hug them to your chest. “i thought you fucking liked me,” you whisper. “and you won’t let me talk to you, won’t let me get close–what the fuck was the point of saying you loved me if this is what you’re going to do? it’d be so much less cruel to break my heat, just say no…”

hoshina’s silent.

way too silent.

“i’m sorry,” hoshina says, and he leans down, drops on the bed next to you–the bed sags beneath his weight, and he raises a hand to touch where your hand hugs your knees to your chest–but you move away. you hate the way you almost relish in the way he seems hurt, but he places his hand between the two of you, a mediating bridge. “you can hit me, if you want.”

“what?”

you stare at him, your gaze incredulous. 

hoshina’s gaze is painfully soft, mixed with that strange pity. as if he deserves this.

“i’d deserve it,” hoshina murmurs. “i’m sorry.”

“i’m not going to hit you!” you say. “what would the point of that be? to prove yourself that you don’t deserve love? to prove to yourself you weren’t good enough? even though this is all your fault–”

hoshina’s gaze flickers at your words.

“that’s it, isn’t it? all part of your weird complex where you deny yourself things that you want!” you lean forward, reaching out to grasp him by the shirt. “so i was just fucking collateral damage to you?” you tumble for a moment, pushing him flat onto his back. he looks up at you, his lips parted for a moment. you feel your grip shaking for a moment, and your vision grows blurry– your eyes burn with tears as you shake. “i told you i knew what i wanted, you fucking idiot! i wanted you! i still want you!”

through blurred vision, you can see your tears dripping onto hoshina’s face–and hoshina just watches.

“i don’t care if you don’t think you’re not good enough,” you say through a choked sob. “you’ve always been more than good enough to me. do you get that? no, actually. you didn’t–because if you did you would have just talked to me like a normal fucking person!” you laugh desperately, crazily, almost–you feel fucking crazed. “and i’ve been driving myself mad! because of you!”

hoshina raises a hand to touch your cheek.

“take some fucking responsibility,” you rasp, tugging at his shirt. “take some responsibility for this! for what you’ve done to me!”

what a horrible thing love was.

your heart feels like it’s on fire, burned and scorched earth.

“i’m sorry,” hoshina repeats, simply. “you’re right.”

he leans up to press his forehead against yours, and you tremble.

“i was scared,” hoshina whispers. “that the things i’d said to kafka and the others–that you’d never know when you’d lose the people you love–that it’d come true. i was determined to shut myself out–make myself unknown again. i couldn’t–cross the boundary. to let myself have love. or anything like it. not from you.”

he sighs, gently nudging you to let him up. he leans close to you, presses his head against the wall to watch you. his gaze–this exact gaze, you’ve missed it. missed the way he watched you, with brimming fondness–and yet here you can see so clearly that there’s desperate pain in his eyes–bubbling and brimming just underneath the surface.

“i was struck by how much i wanted it. love. you. all of this. and i was scared because it could all just disappear so quickly,” hoshina continues. his hand touches your face, and you let that calloused touch, the familiar touch against your cheekbone, the bridge of your nose, your upper lip. “i didn’t–want to lose it. so i figured i could’ve just been happy with a little.”

“you fucking idiot,” you whisper in venomous response.

“yeah.” hoshina doesn’t deny it.

“i’ll give it to you,” you respond. “love. no matter how much you think you don’t deserve it. you don’t even have to ask.”

when hoshina looks at you again, he seems almost fractured at the possibility of it.

“i know,” he murmurs. 

“i love you,” you say, and your voice trembles for a moment. “you fucking awful piece of shit.”

hoshina laughs weakly.

“i deserve that,” he murmurs. “but i love you. i promise i do.”

you shake your head. 

“i know that,” you say. you reach out a hand to touch his face, and you can feel the smile forming on his face.

“okay,” he murmurs. “okay.”

[tea-cat-arts]

I simply think this fandom doesn't give Wei Wuxian enough credit for the various ways in which he saved Lan Wangji

[dadexpertheart]

[smurny]

Basically, Sarcean was the king of saying “future me problem”

[ceaselesswwatch3r]

i dont know how i feel about the x men fandom reviving recently (mostly just cherik but still) because even though i do enjoy it, i also didnt think i'd be sobbing over some bald telepath and his terrorist boyfriend