#☆blue anon

[sol-consort]

ASGEJDK thank you for dignifying my ask with such a wonderful response, it was *chef's kiss*. Delicious. Thank you for the food. Prepare to have me with my mind in the gutter in your ask box every few days about this man.

Steering away from the horny, I found out (or maybe I knew and just forgot) a few days ago that turian shells are made out of metal, aka humans can potentially stick fridge magnetic on them

Oh please do! I don't really have any other anon besides you atm. Ones that request things at least even drabbles <3 so thank you so much for being here. I would love to talk about that man endlessly, i am down bad for most characters in this game like 90% of the turian npcs can hit it raw.

I did read about the metal thing before when I was reading their wiki because I couldn't understand what the fuck their skin is. Apparently they're birds and not lizards so their skin isn't leathery but metalic and shell like texture? It evolved to protect them from the radiation of their planet.

Imagine the crew playing a mini game with Garrus where they try to sneak as many firdge magnets onto his back or head before he could notice.

You're the leading one in this, coming up to him with the pretense of a friendly hug as you let him pick you up and nuzzle his beak against your neck. The slightest raspy purring sound coming from the back of his throat as your hands move to let the magent slip onto his head fringe.

There is a whiteboard in the kitchen where you keep scores, winner by the end of the week gets to pick the luxury non-military rations for the next week.

With the smirk on Garrus's face, you have the slightest suspicion that he is aware of this scheme and leeching hugs off of you while keeping you well fed with your favourite food. But he can't let the rouse up. Otherwise, the rest of the crew gets suspicious.

They'd probably try it with EDI, too, bc she is fully metalic, but she catches them in the act too soon, and Joker shuts down the game. Meanwhile, Legion actually likes having fridge magents on themselves and steals them off of Garrus's back to use as decorations.

[tojisun]

found you today through your plumber simon story and hngggg how can you take a concept that's so overdone and still nail it??? THE TALENT

(I need more of those plss)

aww im glad u liked the lil drabble teehee and thank you so much!!

(idk if this will serve the way the first past did but—)

just. blue collar simon makes me shrivel up in need. he’s just so…capable. so competent. he’s suave and ruggedly charismatic. he sees what he wants and knows how to take it; how to coax it out of you.

simon sees how wide-eyed you are when you look up at him, sees the shyness in the way you give him that drink he asked for, sees the way you curl into yourself while you explain to him the problem you’re having with your kitchen sink, and he physically has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from preening.

you stuttered out your concerns, ducking your head down when you noticed how much eye contact he’s keeping, only for your lungs to constrict when all what your quiet murmur did was make him lean ever so closer to you.

“sorry, miss,” he drawled, shuffling to rest his hand on the counter. “just can’t hear y’well, s’all.”

“oh, okay,” you replied, voice all sticky because what else could you say?

and simon just watched with narrowed eyes and pinched lips because darlin’, you didn’t even know what you do to him.

simon didn’t really fuck you then, not with how you laid there on your kitchen table, loopy and twitching, eyes faraway while your body came down from the intensity of your orgasms.

little lady, you fuckin’ squirted. you drenched his mouth and made his fingers all pruny with your slick.

god, doll, you were so pretty, all sweaty and drooling, unable to even properly kiss him back when he leant down to nab a taste of those spit-slicked lips. all you could do was whine, your body locked while your cunt spurted uselessly, still so overstimulated by the way he stuffed you.

you pawed at the tent in his jeans when you finally came back to, and who was simon to deny you of his cock?

you sucked him messily, but simon’s never been so horny until then. you couldn’t even swallow his prick properly, your mouth tired and your body still putty, but simon came the fastest he’s remembered, shooting his spunk all over your sweaty face.

simon would’ve snagged a photo of how you looked but the pipes really needed some fixing. so he tucked himself back in his jeans, then slapped the inside of your thigh softly, his eyes still on your puffy cunt.

“a’right. this bloke need t’work again, is that not right miss?” simon crooned, dragging his hand along your leg, watching your skin dimple with the weight of his hold.

you warbled a response.

simon chuckled and pressed forward to brush a kiss on your forehead before forcing himself to walk away because he’s still on the clock.

not like he’d even charge you after all of that.

.

it’s two weeks later when you finally called the plumber again. sure, you had to slam the hilt of your knife on your pipe until it finally dented, but it’s not like the plumber—mr. simon—would need to know.

your call gets picked up after the second ring but before you could even offer any greetings, all of which you’ve rehearsed in front of the mirror over and over again, he says, “well, that sure took y’while, didn’t it doll? almost had me worried that you wouldn’t call.”

you breathe in sharply, your pussy tingling already. he chuckles.

“same address?”

“yes, please,” you rasp out before licking at your chapped lips. then, “can i request for an asap service? it’s…leaking right now.”

mr. simon laughs loudly this time. you end the call before he can say anything more, dutifully ignoring the way your cheeks thrum with feverish heat.

because you’re sure that this time…

[animatedglittergraphics-n-more]

requested by anon

snoopy cursor source

[hinamie]

theyre soft your honour

[papiercranes]

two mimir

[thebluesthour]

tweeted excerpts from A Field Guide to Getting Lost, via Rebecca Solnit's twitter

[ozzgin]

Hiiii ozz!!!! Can I please give Toby a manicure???? I want our angel to be very bonita!!! <3

(Which color would be better??? (⁠ ⁠╹⁠▽⁠╹⁠ ⁠) Thank you for making such great characters, you are the best!! (⁠☆⁠▽⁠☆⁠))

Toby doesn't quite understand the purpose of this ritual, but he would never say no to spending more time with you, under any pretext.

Additionally - and unbeknownst to you - he finds the gossip terrific. He always listens in utter silence, and you're really only doing it to pass the time, but he leaves with a giddy, mischievous excitement rustling his primordial soul.

Before you, he would spend his entire time alone in the gardens, overlooking the nature. What else is there to do for an ancient, all-knowing God of a long-gone Cosmos?

Then you began your little monologues: maybe you had a fight with your manager, or some monstrous guest left the room in disarray. Is the cook cheating on his cyclops wife with the hundred-eyed receptionist?

How exquisite, how foreign! There is no purpose to this mundane knowledge, and yet, it fills him with entertainment. He feels like he's snuck his way into eldritch, forbidden lore.

Please, do tell him more.

[Toby the Gardener] | [Monster Hotel Series]

[yeosin-n]

Cadet is just TOO adorable! I love the way you draw him! May I ask how cadet got his scar?

[choccy-milky]

✨ pokémon AU! 🔴✨ clora is mainly fairy & psychic (bc shes sweet but also smart) whereas seb trends towards fire/dark (even tho i only ended up giving him 1 dark pokemon...shhh) i originally gave him a houndour, bc dark + guard dog was such a perfect combo for him, but arcanine ALSO suits him and is way cuter so i had to go with that 🥹 and i had to fit in a raven and a snake pokemon somewhere bc...cmon🥰 BAHAHA

TYSM to the anon who inspired this!! it was so much fun

[relaxedstyles]

Bluesky, huh?

[sol-consort]

Can you imagine the chaos if they did find out? Like, idk, a young turian adult from a traditional family is rebelling and googles human porn/erotica to spite his parents and stumbles upon something akin to AO3 with an entire tag dedicated to nesting and breeding? And then of course he tells his friends, and they tell their other friends, and then their siblings find out and all of a sudden a chunk of the new turian adult generation know about how some humans fantasise about nesting and getting bred.

On a completely different note, but turian related, have you met Adrien Victus yet? -blue anon

Oh my god imagine if they end up getting misinformed and start thinking ao3 and other sites contains actual accurate human sex, like how a lot of people who grew up watching porn start thinking it's realistic sex.

Turians spreading remours between themselves about "nesting" and "bite marks" and distorting their own views on humans and why they like leaving hickies on each other.

You invite a turian friend back to your home just to hang out, and they end up wandering into your room and finding 3 blankets and a bunch of pillows or plushies on your bed? Their mind immediately wins gold at the Olympics of jumping to conclusions, and they think you're nesting, obviously.

Suddenly they're affectionate and asking weird questions like is your neck okay or do they smell fine to you? You keep saying the room temperature is normal whenever they ask if you're in heat.

Going back home and calling their turian gaggle of friends and gossiping about it with them laying on the bed and legs kicking in the air and all. Exaggerating some parts about how they definitely just met a human in heat who was nesting and Ha! fuck you dad! Ao3 is a valid source for human sex educational.

Maybe you bite your friend as a joke, like their arm or something because they stole one of your fries. And the turians eating with the two of you look completely flustered and stuttering, not believing their eyes and immediately thinking it means you two are a thing now. One of them who has been clingy to you before, is suddenly dejected as if his heart shattered into a million pieces.

Also on that note, turians are offical creeps in the universe, like it is in their blood to be creepy fucks who walk the thin line of what's appropriate or not. Creepy nerds who keep reading misinformation about human sex and taking it as facts. Making groups and blogs, introduction guides and categorising our kinks as different types of human mating.

Completely becoming obsessed rather than, yk, having sex with a human to find out like any normal person would. No they rather argue in the comment section of a home-made Turian/human porno about how this isn't accurate and the human clearly isn't enjoying themselves because they aren't moaning like a porn star and the turian should be charged for war crimes and hanged because he is a shame to their species for letting this human down in bed.

And yes I did meet him! I wanted to fuck him normally but then I found out he has a son and he became instantly ten times hotter to me and now I want to fuck him abnormal freaky style. Gonna have him lay my eggs.

[soracities]

—Maria Michela Sassi, "Can we hope to understand how the Greeks saw their world?" (pub. Aeon) [ID in ALT]

[devotion-disorder]

does killian (or any other elves) enjoy having his ears played with? or does he tend to avoid touching at any cost?

the ears are a sensitive part of an elf's body in general, so yes for most they enjoy having it played with, though some find it a bit too overstimulating. Killian would love any sort of touch or stimulation there as he sees it as a very intimate act. But be prepared that he will try to return the favour twice as hard.

[imraespace]

p-pookie, can i get an accidental confession (where we or them accidentally confessed) with the blue lock boys.

(insert ant meme here) — 😺

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? - you accidentally confessed

THIS includes : texts genre: crack NOTE: i was listening to justin bieber when i wrote the header.. anyways omg its meow anon..😱 i made this when i was sleepy(that's why theres so many typos..) and one brain cell was working i promise im not weird also i think i went over board.

PAIRINGS: ISAGI, BACHIRA, NAGI, REO, RIN, SAE, SHIDOU, AIKU, CHIGIRI OTHERS: HIORI, OTOYA

IMRAESPACE masterlist

[firstprinced]

the cutest sleepy baby (+ henry)

[forecast0ctopus]

What if yellow star trek and blue star trek kissed