#╼╼ series :: unspoken love ╼╼ | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itneverendshere · 2 months ago

Text

LOVED YOU AT YOUR WORST - r.c series - ONE

pairings: ex!sweethearts; rafe x thornton!reader; rafe x sofia. chapter warnings: none (angst) chapter two┆ chapter three ┆ chapter four

The bass from the speakers rattled the glass in your hand as you leaned against the porch railing, eyes scanning the backyard for him—Rafe.

It had been a long month.

Longer than you thought it would be. Usually, when you and Rafe had your little “breaks,” they lasted about a week, maybe two at most. It was always something stupid, a screaming match that ended with slammed doors and his truck peeling out of your driveway. But it never lasted. It couldn’t. You’d known each other too long, been through too much, and deep down, there was this unspoken truth—he’d always come back. Or, you would.

But this time was different.

This time, he wasn’t calling or showing up at your window in the middle of the night, eyes tired and sorry, pulling you into his arms. The space between you had been growing wider since his dad died. And sure, maybe it was your fault for what you said after Ward’s death—But it was the truth.

Still, you hadn’t expected him to shut you out completely. Two months. Two months of silence. And the only thing you’d heard about him since was through Ruthie, Topper’s new girlfriend, of all people. A random comment at Mase’s place—something about how Rafe had been hanging around some pogue girl named Sofia.

You’d rolled your eyes at that. Rafe? With some Pogue? Yeah, right. You’d pretended not to care when she tossed it out like it was nothing

You weren’t stupid.

You’d always known Rafe wasn’t the easiest guy to love. He was complicated, angry, reckless—but so were you. And in some messed-up way, that’s why you two worked. Or at least, why you thought you did. You were just as stubborn, just as damaged. But now, as you sipped your drink and looked around, something felt off. Your gut was tight, and that nagging feeling that’d been growing restless under your skin since the breakup only grew stronger the longer you stood there.

You pushed yourself off the railing, discarding your drink on a table before moving through the crowd, past people you knew but didn’t bother with. Your mind was set on one thing—Rafe. You were done with the break. You had your space. It’s time to get back together. It was never even really a question. It was just the way things worked with you two.

But then there was Ruthie—blocking your path, her wide smile dripping with the kind of smugness that set your teeth on edge. She looked like she was reveling in your misery and that little giggle she let out only made it worse.

"So glad you could make it!" she sang out, her voice too sweet, too bright. Her eyes flickered over you like she was sizing you up, taking stock of every inch of your perfectly put-together outfit.

You forced a smile, “Yeah, well, wouldn’t miss a party like this,” you said, keeping your tone casual.

You weren’t in the mood for whatever game she was playing.

“Oh, I just bet,” she replied, her smile growing wider. She stepped closer, her breath reeking of cheap wine, and you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes. Ruthie always drank too much at these things.

What the hell was her problem? She always acted like she knew something you didn’t, like she held the keys to all the dirty little secrets in Kildare, and she loved dangling them in front of people just to watch them squirm.

“Ruthie, I swear to God—” you began, but she cut you off, her grin widening.

“Oh, honey,” she cooed, her voice dripping with fake sympathy, “don’t get mad at me. I’m just the messenger. You should really be talking to Rafe about this.” She took a step back, still smiling, and glanced over her shoulder. “He’s around, you know. You can go find him yourself. See how cozy he’s gotten with her.”

You bit your tongue, jaw, forcing yourself to stay calm. She was trying to get under your skin, like the snake she’d always been. You couldn’t believe Top was lonely and horny enough to finally fall into her claws.

“Thanks for the tip,” you gave her a tight lipped grimace, brushing past her, didn’t try and wait for her reply.

You only caught glimpses of empty rooms along the way. You hadn’t seen him since the break, and part of you didn’t want to admit how much that messed you up. How much he messed you up. Your steps slowed as you neared the hall that led to the back of the house, the sound of voices filtering through the air. You recognized some, laughed at the drunken ramblings, until one voice cut through the noise. Rafe’s.

And then you heard hers. No fucking way.

You didn’t stop. You couldn’t. You told yourself you just needed to see him, just talk to him, tell him this break had gone on long enough, that you were done with the games. That’s when you heard it again—her laugh. It was light, flirtatious, the kind of laugh that made your stomach turn into a million different directions because you knew exactly what it meant.

She was there, with him.

You moved forward, the hallway barely lit as you reached the half-closed bathroom door. Your breath hitched, hands trembling as you peeked through the small crack, unable to stop yourself from looking.

There they were.

She was smiling, laughing softly at something he’d said, her fingers brushing through her hair as if she didn’t have a care in the world. Your breath caught in your throat as you watched his hands move, tying the knot in her bikini with such gentle precision like he’d done it a thousand times. The kind of softness he used to have with you. And then he said it, his voice teasing, amused like this was some kind of inside joke between them.

"God, this is just landing right in my lap, isn’t it?"

You froze.

He laughed quietly, his lips brushing against Sofia’s shoulder as he tied the last knot, and the way he touched her—like she was something to be savored—sent a rush of pure, burning humiliation straight through your chest.

You stumbled back, your heart pounding in your ears as Rafe’s words repeated over and over in your head. Landing right in my lap. What the fuck was this?

Your heart clenched, vision blurring as what you were seeing slammed right into you. You backed away, your hand flying to your mouth to stop the sob from escaping. But it didn’t help. Not even à little. The tears burned, and you turned quickly, practically running back through the house and out the door before anyone could see the humiliating mess you were becoming.

It was real. He moved on. In two fucking months.

That’s all it had taken for him to replace you. To be done with you. He was over you. Just like that.

After everything you’d been through together, after all the times you had to pull him out of his own darkness, after the nights spent in his arms when you thought you couldn’t breathe because your whole family was gone—after years of being his and him being yours—how the fuck could he move on when you’d been rotting away in self loathing for pushing him away?

Your head spun as you stumbled down the steps, out to the street where your car was parked. You couldn’t breathe. Your breaths were coming out too fast, too shallow, and your hands were shaking so hard you had to press them against your knees to hold yourself up.

What the hell was wrong with you? You hadn’t even had anything to drink.

But your stomach was rolling, twisting in knots so tight you could barely stand straight. You leaned against the side of your car, the cool metal grounding you to reality for a second before a wave of nausea hit, forcing you to double over and retch onto the pavement. Tears stung your eyes as you coughed, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand.

You felt dizzy, disgusted even, everything you thought you knew, everything you thought was yours, had been ripped out from under you.

Without a single warning. Not a text, not a stupid call, just pure indifference. No respect or regard for you. None of them. Everything you’d just seen replayed in your mind—Rafe, her, the way he touched her like she meant something to him.

“Look who’s still standing!” Topper’s voice. He was laughing as he strolled over, hands shoved in his pockets, that same carefree grin on his face that he always had at parties. “Jesus, what did you have to drink? You look like you’ve been hit by a truck.”

Normally, you might have had something to say back, maybe a fiery insult or a roll of your eyes. But right now, everything felt like too much. You couldn’t say a word. You could barely breathe.

Your cousin stopped beside you, his grin dropping as he finally looked at you. “Hey, what’s wrong?” He leaned down, trying to catch your eyes. “You good? You look kinda—"

You cut him off, the question was heavy, like a lump lodged in your throat. “Did you know?”

He blinked, the confusion spreading across his face. “Know what?”

You swallowed, your heart hammering in your chest as you forced the words out, your voice shaking. “About Rafe and Sofia.”

You hated saying her name.

Hated that you’d been forced to know it by heart. Topper’s smile dropped, his expression changing.

He didn’t answer. He didn’t have to, you knew him well enough to read his micro expressions. You clenched your fists, it felt like you were the only one in the island who’d been let out of the secret.

Surely, your friends, your only family would’ve told you something right? It’s not like you were on a remote island away from them. You’d spent the last month in New York, not in the fucking jungle. You visited occasionally. You were a call away.

“Did everyone fucking know?”

Topper exhaled slowly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Look, we didn’t think it was serious. You know how it is with you two—you’ve done this before. Played with other people…”

Played with other people. Like you and Rafe were just some game, a revolving door of heartbreak and hookups. It didn’t make sense. You’d always known how it worked, understood how these things went—sure, you’d had your minor flings, and he’d had his, but it was never real.

You stumbled back, feeling like you might collapse. “Oh my God, I’m going to be sick again.”

He reached out, obviously concerned since he hadn’t seen you in this desperate state in years, “Hey, hey, calm down. Look, it’s not like it means anything. Rafe’s just—he’s going through a lot with his dad dying, and he… he’s just messing around. You know how he gets.”

But the words did nothing to soothe you. They only made it worse—how everyone knew. How they’d all watched Rafe move on, while you were stuck, still reeling from the breakup, thinking he’d come back like he always did. And he was just out there, with her.

With someone else. You pressed a hand to your stomach, your head hurting. The idea of Sofia, of Rafe being with someone else in ways that only you knew—ways that had always been yours—made you feel like you were being torn apart.

Topper was still talking, still trying to rationalize it, but his words were like static now, blending into the noise of the party behind you. “It doesn’t mean anything,” he was saying. “You know how it goes. You always end up back together. He’s just doing whatever to distract himself.”

That word. Distract himself. Like your entire relationship could be boiled down to that—a series of distractions until you decided to come back to each other, to pick up the pieces and pretend everything was okay.

You could still remember the night your life changed—the phone call, the horrible, gut-wrenching moment when you learned that your family’s private plane had gone down. Your parents. Your sister. Gone. Just like that. And Rafe had been the one to pull you through it. He was the one who had held you as you cried so hard you thought you were going to die, who sat with you in silence when you couldn’t bring yourself to speak, who stayed with you every single night because you were terrified to be alone in a haunted mansion that now felt like a mausoleum.

You had been seventeen, and losing them all at once had killed something inside of you. But he was there. He wasn’t perfect—far from it—but he knew what it was like to grieve.

He knew loss. He understood. Because you’d been there for him two years earlier, when his mom lost her battle to cancer. You could still see the look in his eyes that day—fourteen years old and already drowning in so much anger and sadness, like the world had ripped something essential out of him.

The way he cried at her funeral when he thought no one was watching, and you’d found him, sat beside him in the cold, letting him cry without saying a word. You hadn’t started dating yet, hadn’t crossed that line, but something had changed between you two in those moments.

A connection, a bond forged in shared pain, in the kind of trauma that no one else really got. Maybe that was why you were so obsessed with each other. Maybe it was fucked up, but you couldn’t imagine anyone else understanding you the way Rafe did.

How could it all come down to this? To you standing here, feeling like the world was ending while he moved on, laughing and touching someone else like nothing you had ever been through mattered?

Was that it? Did that one moment, that one argument about Ward, erase everything you’d done for him?

All the times you’d been there, the way you had comforted him when he felt like his life was spiraling? You remembered exactly what you’d said a month after the funeral, when your boyfriend blamed everyone but Ward for his own death. "He wasn’t a good person, baby. I know he was your dad, but you can’t pretend like he didn’t fuck you up."

You hadn’t even said it to hurt him, not really. It was just the truth. Ward had been a terrible father, controlling and manipulative, and you’d spent years watching Rafe try to live up to some impossible standard, chasing his father’s approval like it would ever be enough. But that didn’t make it easier for him to hear. You should have known better. You should have known how raw he was after losing his dad, how complicated his feelings were.

But instead, you’d been brutal. Honest, but brutal.

And now, two months later, here you were—staring at the empty street, wondering if you’d pushed him too far. If that one moment of honesty was enough to make him forget everything else. Now you were just the ex, the crazy one who didn’t know when to keep her mouth shut.

“Fuck, why did I say that?” you whispered to yourself, voice shaking. Why couldn’t you have just let it go?

But then another clarity of anger took over you, pushing away the guilt that had been building inside. So you’d been too harsh about Ward. So you’d said what everyone else had been too scared to say. It wasn’t like you’d been wrong. Ward had messed Rafe up.

Everyone knew it. He knew it, deep down.

You gritted your teeth, staring out at the dark street, the low hum of the party still buzzing faintly behind you. You were never going to get that picture out of your head. Like they hadn’t just met, like you hadn’t spent years learning how to calm Rafe when he spiraled, how to hold him together when he couldn’t hold himself.

Your chest tightened again, a bitter taste rising in your throat.

You could still feel the weight of his head on your shoulder that night, years ago, when his mom passed. The silent sobs that shook his body, the way he’d held onto you. That was the real Rafe—the one he hid from everyone else. The one who was lost and broken underneath all the anger. And you’d seen him, really seen him in ways no one else ever could. Not Sofia. Not anyone.

"Look, you're emotional, okay? I get it. Maybe it's that time of the month or something. You know how you always get when your hormones go crazy."

The words got to you, but not in the way he probably thought they would. At first, it pissed you off, like it always did when people tried to downplay your emotions. Everyone always said you felt too much. That you were out of control.

But then…

You stopped moving, blinking rapidly as his words spiraled around in your brain. ‘Time of the month’, he'd said.

Your heart started doing summersaults, your stomach dropping as the idea settled in. You grabbed your phone, hands trembling like leaves as you opened the calendar app. You scrolled, trying to think, trying to remember when you’d last…fuck.

You hadn’t had your period in… so long.

Almost two months. No. No, no, no. This couldn’t be happening. It had to be some kind of fucked up joke.

You felt light-headed as you reached for your car again, your body shaking so badly you could barely stand against the door. "Shit."

How could you not have noticed?

Topper noticed the change in you instantly, his brow furrowing. "What’s wrong with you?" he asked, his tone softening a little. "You okay?"

You couldn’t even form a sentence. Your brain was too full of what-ifs. Two months late.

You hadn't even thought about it until now—everything had taken so much space in your head that you hadn't noticed the most obvious sign. This wasn’t possible. Your hand flew to your stomach, almost instinctively. You had no idea what to do with the panic creeping up your throat.

“Shit,” You hissed, this time louder, trying to push the growing dread down. But it wouldn't go away.

He was still staring at you, “What? What’s going on? You’re freaking me out.”

But you were already backing away, shaking your head, “I—I need to go,” You mumbled, barely hearing yourself.

Your cousin moved quickly to block your path as you tried to make your way toward the door. That kind of protective streak only made you want to shove past him even more.

"You’re not driving in this state." he warned you, voice firm, his hands up like he was trying to physically stop you.

You just glared at him, “Fucking watch me.”

He didn’t budge. "You get in that car and I'm calling Rafe," he said, sounding dead serious.

You couldn’t believe it. Your head was already spinning, and he was trying to guilt-trip you like this was some kind of helpful thing to do? You threw your hands up in frustration, voice rising, cracking. "He’s too busy fucking Sofia. Knock yourself out."

The words felt like venom in your mouth, the bitterness rolling off your tongue. You didn’t care how harsh they sounded. You didn’t care about anything anymore except getting away from this suffocating stupid place. Before he could say anything else, you made your move. You pushed past him with all your strength, chest hurting with the urge to feel something other than this suffocating mess of emotions and confusion.

Your hands shook as you fumbled for your keys. You managed to unlock the door, sliding into the driver’s seat, the cool leather biting into your skin.

You needed to think. But all you could think about was that one, terrifying realization: you might be pregnant.

Your breath hitched, terror swirling around your chest. The calendar app was still open on your phone, the dates staring back at you like a flashing red warning sign, daring you to confront the truth you’d been ignoring. Two months. Two months without a period. And you hadn’t even noticed. You pressed a hand to your stomach again, heart pounding as if it was trying to escape your chest. This couldn’t be happening. Not now. Not like this.

You weren’t thinking clearly—shit, you weren’t thinking at all, but you couldn’t stay here. Not with Topper trying to baby you, not with him out there, living his best life like you didn’t even exist.

You turned the key, the engine roaring to life, and just as you gripped the wheel, ready to peel out of the driveway, Topper bolted in front of the car, planting himself right there like some kind of human roadblock. Fucking idiot. His arms were stretched out wide, like he could somehow stop you by sheer willpower.

“You’re not doing this, I swear to God, you’re not!” he yelled, his voice frantic, echoing off the dark street. He looked panicked, pleading even, like he was convinced you’d actually go through with it.

You gritted your teeth, eyes narrowing on him through the windshield. “Top, I swear, you have three seconds before I run you over.”

“Are you serious right now?” he yelled, his voice cracking with disbelief. But he didn’t move. “You think I’m letting you drive like this? You’re out of your fuckin’ mind!”

Your fingers gripping the wheel so hard it hurt. You weren’t bluffing. You were too wound up, too out of control. The only thing keeping you from flooring him was the fact that, deep down, you knew your cousin didn’t deserve it.

You just needed to get out of here.

“Move!” you screamed, “I’m not joking’, Topper. Get the fuck out of my way!”

His face twisted with frustration as he looked over his shoulder, something catching his attention. He started waving, yelling at someone, his voice cutting through the night, “Rafe! Dude, get over here!”

Your brain stopped. It was like everything had been sucked out of you. Your hands froze on the wheel, your entire body locking up as you looked to your right and saw him—Rafe. Right there in the yard.

And she was with him. He had his arm draped around her casually, like she belonged there.

Like he belonged there, just standing in the open, so stupidly comfortable in his new life. His head turned when he heard Topper call out, and your eyes locked for a less than a second. A moment too long. A moment that broke something inside you.

While Topper was distracted, his attention on Rafe, you made your move. You slammed your foot on the gas, tires screeching as the car lurched forward, swerving just enough to dodge Topper’s stunned figure. You heard him yell after you, but his voice faded into the background noise as you sped away.

You didn’t look back. Not at Top, not at Rafe.

The only thing you could hear was the sound of your own heartbeat pounding in your ears, drowning out everything else. You hated this. Hated that you were crying. Hated that you’d let yourself get to this point.

“God, what is wrong with me?” you muttered, your voice quavering as the words tumbled out. “Why the fuck am I crying over him? I shouldn’t be crying over him.” You slammed your palm against the steering wheel, angry, disgusted with yourself.

You’d told yourself you were stronger than this—that after everything you’d been through, you didn’t need him or anyone else. But here you were, falling apart like some pathetic excuse of a mess because of him. Because he had always been there, hadn’t he? After the crash, after you lost everything, he was the one constant, the one person who kept you from completely losing it. You’d relied on him so much. Too much.

“Fuck,” you hissed, tears streaming down your face. Your throat burned as the memories came flooding back, memories of all the nights you’d spent together, of him holding you while you cried yourself to sleep, of the way he’d pulled you out of the gloom when you thought you’d never get back up again. You thought he’d always be that person for you, the one who understood your broken pieces because he had his own. You’d always fit together perfectly.

You pulled into the parking lot of the nearest drugstore, your hands still shaking as you put the car in park. The tears had dried up on the drive over, replaced by a cold determination. You didn’t want to be here. Didn’t want to even think about what you were about to do.

The moment you stepped out of your car and into the harsh fluorescent lighting of the drugstore, you felt completely out of place—like a stranger in your own skin. You hadn’t even thought about how ridiculous you must’ve looked until you caught your reflection in one of the store’s glass windows. Your hair, still perfect from earlier, framed your face in soft waves, and your makeup was flawless, despite the crying. The designer dress you were wearing—sleek, red, and worth more than half the shit in this store—with its sticky floors and white lights, it made you feel like an alien. Like you didn’t belong.

You caught the eyes of a couple of people loitering outside the entrance as you walked in, their stares lingering a little too long, murmuring to each other behind smirks. You knew they were talking about you. They always did, kook queen, overdressed, out of touch, bitch, whatever they wanted to call you.

The sliding doors let out a grating beep as you entered, and the air inside was stale and heavy, reeking of floor cleaner and cheap perfume. You adjusted your grip on your purse, strutting past the aisles with your head high even though everything inside you felt like it was falling apart.

You always did this—dressed to kill, head up, like armor. But there was no real glamour in buying pregnancy tests from some random pharmacy in the middle of the night. No way to mask the deep, growing hysteria in your bones.

The girl behind the register clocked you the second you stepped up to the counter, her eyes dragging over your like she couldn’t quite believe what she was seeing. You could almost hear her thoughts: What the hell is someone like you doing here?

You didn’t even look at her. You just wanted to pay and leave without a scene. But of course, people always found a way to make things worse. She hesitated before scanning the tests, looking like she might say something. For her own good, you prayed she didn’t.

You threw the money on the counter before she could open her mouth, two crisp hundreds on top of the total. The cash hit the counter with a sharp thwap and you gave her the bitchiest look you could muster. “Take it. Keep your fucking mouth shut.”

She swallowed hard, her hand trembling as she slid the bills into the register. You didn’t care that she was young or nervous. You weren’t here to make friends. You weren’t here for anyone’s sympathy. The extra money would make sure she didn’t talk, that was all that mattered.

You walked out, your heels clicking against the linoleum, head high, even though every nerve in your body screamed for you to disappear. You slid into your truck, slamming the door shut, the silence finally hitting you. For all the designer clothes, the makeup, the money—none of it meant shit right now. You felt so small. So scared. Terribly lonely.

You sat there for what felt like forever, staring at the stupid bag in the passenger seat like it had the power to ruin your whole life—which, to be fair, it kind of did. You didn’t know what the fuck you were going to do. Not about any of it.

Your foot tapped nervously against the floor mat, the sound too loud in the quiet car. The bag crinkled as you glanced at it again, your stomach twisting all over again. A bunch of pregnancy tests. How had it come to this?

Rafe. You squeezed your eyes shut, willing yourself not to think about him, not to picture his face when he found out. If he found out. Shit, what the hell was he going to do? He was with Sofia now, right? So was this going to ruin his life too? Did he even deserve to know?

It was probably nothing, you told yourself. Maybe the separation anxiety had gotten to you. Maybe your body was just fucked up from all the stress. Maybe your period was just late because you’d been so all over the place lately. There could be a million reasons. You didn’t even want to think about what would happen if it wasn’t nothing.

You didn’t want to cry anymore. Not after all of this. Not over Rafe. Not over your life turning into some fucking soap opera you didn’t even want to be a part of.

The second you were inside your house, the walls closed in around you. Your perfectly decorated place—the one you’d spent so much time making into a refuge, an escape—it didn’t feel like that anymore. Every designer pillow, every carefully chosen piece of art, mocking you.

Your phone buzzed in your bag, you reached for it. Of course, it was Rafe.

“I don’t know what the fuck that was but save the fucking dramatics, okay?”

The nerve. The fucking nerve of him to act like he was the center of your universe, acting like you were some inconvenience. Months of silence and this was the first thing he decided to text you? Knowing how much you despised when people called you a drama queen? Fucking piece of shit.

Your fingers hovered over the screen, a thousand different responses running through your mind. You wanted to tell him to shove something up his ass. But you did the only thing that felt right in that moment.

You blocked him. You stared at your phone, half expecting it to buzz again, half dreading that it wouldn’t. It was done. You cut him off, at least in that tiny, virtual way. You sat there for a minute, gripping the phone, trying to remember how to breathe.

This was supposed to feel empowering, right? You told yourself it would. That cutting him out would help you get back some control. But your mind wouldn’t settle. Those damn pregnancy tests were sitting in the bag next to you.

You were tired.

Exhausted in a way that had nothing to do with how late it was or how emotionally spent you were. You kicked off your heels, letting them clatter against the hardwood floor as you sank into the plush couch. Your house felt cold and unwelcoming tonight. Like a showroom. No comfort to be found. Not here, not in the muted tones of beige and white. Not in the sleek lines of furniture that were supposed to exude elegance and sophistication.

Maybe tomorrow you’d feel differently.

Maybe you’d wake up with a clear head, ready to take the stupid tests. Maybe you’d be strong again like you’d been so many times before.

Tonight, you were just tired. You leaned back against the cushions, closing your eyes for a moment, willing the noise in your head to quiet down. Sleep. That’s what you needed. Just a few hours to clear your mind, and in the morning, you’d deal with everything.

All of this would go away.

TAGLIST: @maybankslover @october-baby25 @haruvalentine4321 @hopelesslydevoted2paige @rafebb

@rafesbbyy @whytheylosttheirminds @astarlights @bruher @nosebeers @carrerascameron @serrendiipty @sunny1616

@yootvi @ditzyzombiesblog @psychocitylights @maibelitaaura @kiiyomei

@stoned-writer @justafangirls-blog-deactivated2 @starkeygirlposts @enjoymyloves @ijustwanttoreadlols

@icaqttt

4K notes · View notes

mononijikayu · 2 months ago

Text

pillowtalk — fushiguro toji.

So one evening, when the house is peaceful and the two of you are sitting together, watching Megumi’s small chest rise and fall as he sleeps, Toji finally lets the words slip out. “Do you think… Megumi’s lonely?” His voice is soft, almost tentative. He’s not used to sounding uncertain, but this feels like new territory for him. “Like, maybe he’d do better with a sibling?” The question hangs in the air, unspoken emotions carried within it, waiting for your response.

GENRE: alternate universe - canon convergence!;

WARNING/S: fluff, romance, nsfw, r-18, smut, rough sex, breeding kink, overstimulation, body praise, kissing, p-i-v sex, fingering, pet names (baby, babe, wife, mama, etc), profanity, love, humor, light-hearted, married life, being in love, sexual intercourse, slice of life, domestic life, family, depictions of sexual acts, depiction of body praise, depiction of naked bodies, mention of sexual innuendo, mention of sexual intercourse, husband! toji, mamaguro! reader;

WORD COUNT: 7k words

NOTE: i think about how mamaguro was taken too soon from toji and megumi and how maybe they were thinking about wanting another kid and just how domestic their life was. i like to think about toji!househusband too fr. like if there was a character that could be the way of the househusband, it would be fushiguro toji, thank you. thank you for listening to my tedtalk!!! anyway, i love you all <3

masterlist

kinktober 2024 - kayu's version

if you want to, tip!

══════════════════

HIS LIFE NOW WAS A FAR CRY FROM HIS OLD LIFE. Toji Fushiguro never thought he'd find peace, much less happiness. His life had been a series of battles, betrayals, and constant survival. But then you came along, softening the sharp edges of his world, bringing warmth where there had only been cold.

He remembers the day he first saw you. It was as if the world had found itself in a tailspin and he was in it. His world changed when you came into his life. Everything felt like it was worth finding wonder in.

With how you looked at him with eyes full of understanding, tenderness. There was nothing of pity or grievance. There was always warmth. Warmth he didn't think he would ever deserve. Somehow, you'd seen something in him worth saving, something worth loving.

You gave him a family, a real family—not just in the blood that runs through his veins but in the small, everyday moments that fill the spaces between. You gave him everything he could ever want. Everything that he thought could only be achieved in dreams.

Mornings over coffee, the sunlight streaming through the kitchen window, your laugh echoing softly through the room. The gentle way you cradle your son, Megumi, in your arms, whispering stories to him with a voice so full of love it makes Toji’s chest ache in the best possible way.

Every time he looks at Megumi, he feels a rush of gratitude so overwhelming it almost brings him to his knees. Your son has his eyes, that piercing gaze that cuts through the nonsense of the world, but he has your smile, that Toji was sure of. He was just as much happy about it too.

When he looked at Megumi, he could find that small, quiet curve that seems to promise the universe that all will be well. It was waiting for him on his son's beautiful face as much as it was on your own beautiful lips.

Fushiguro Toji never thought he’d care so much about something so trivial, but here he is, caring more than he ever imagined possible. His son's smile brought him as much joy to see as it does when you too smile at him.d

He watches Megumi toddling around the living room, his tiny hands grasping at the air as he learns to walk, determination etched on his face. Toji's heart swells with a fierce kind of pride.

In moments like these, he understands what people mean when they talk about the best things in life. It’s not the money, the power, or the next fight to win. It’s his son’s first steps, the weight of your hand in his, the soft, steady rhythm of your breathing beside him at night.

You've given him a home—not just a house with walls and a roof but a place where he feels like he belongs, where he isn't running from shadows or haunted by the ghosts of his past. A place where, for the first time in his life, he feels like he deserves to stay.

Toji never thought he’d be here, never thought he’d be the kind of man who could love so deeply, who could feel so much. But you changed that. You changed everything. And as he stands there, watching Megumi, he knows that this right here, right now is the happiest he’s ever been.

Toji’s gaze shifts from Megumi to you, who are quietly watching the two of them with a serene smile. Your presence brings a calm to the chaos that once defined his life. The way you hold Megumi’s tiny hand as he wobbles toward you, the soft encouragement in your voice, it all creates a sanctuary that Toji never thought he’d find.

In the evenings, when the world quiets down and the house is bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun, Toji often finds himself reflecting on how far he’s come. He thinks about the days when his future seemed so uncertain, when the idea of a family felt like an impossible dream. Now, every moment spent with you and Megumi feels like a precious gift, a beautiful reality he’d only dared to hope for.

As Megumi eventually collapses into a giggling heap on the floor, Toji chuckles softly. You come over and join them, your laughter mingling with his as you all enjoy the simple joy of being together.

Toji sits back and watches, his heart full. He thinks about the sacrifices he’s made and the battles he fought. Each scar, each hard-earned lesson, has led him to this moment—the sweetest victory of all.

In the quiet moments, when it’s just the three of you, Toji often finds himself lost in thought. He marvels at how you’ve created a life filled with warmth and love, and how Megumi is growing up surrounded by everything he never had.

He realizes that his past, with all its pain and darkness, was worth it for the chance to build this future with you. He feels a profound sense of gratitude, not just for what you’ve given him, but for the strength and resilience you’ve shown in building this family together.

When he tucks Megumi into bed at night, he’s reminded of the importance of the little rituals. The way Megumi’s eyes flutter closed as Toji reads him a bedtime story, the way he clings to the small toy you both picked out together, and the peaceful sigh he gives as he drifts off to sleep. Toji knows that these moments are fleeting, but they are precious.

As he stands by the doorway, watching over his sleeping son, Toji reaches out and takes your hand. You squeeze it gently, a silent promise of the love and support you’ve always given him. He turns to you, his eyes reflecting the depth of his feelings.

“I never thought I’d have a life like this.” he says softly, his voice filled with emotion. “You’ve given me everything I never knew I needed. I don’t know how to thank you, but I hope you know how much you mean to me.”

You smile, your eyes glistening with love and understanding. “You don’t have to thank me. This our family, our home, its all I ever wanted too. We’ve created something beautiful together, and that’s more than enough.”

Toji wraps his arm around you, pulling you close as he gazes once more at the peaceful scene before him. In that moment, he knows that he has everything he could ever ask for. The life he shares with you and Megumi is his greatest achievement, his greatest joy. And as he holds you close, he realizes that this is exactly where he’s meant to be—home.

The nights are often filled with a gentle stillness, punctuated only by the soft sounds of Megumi’s breathing as he sleeps. Toji finds these quiet moments to be some of the most precious. He cherishes the tranquility that envelops your family, feeling as though he’s finally found his place of peace after years of turmoil.

In the early mornings, when the first light of dawn filters through the curtains, Toji enjoys watching you and Megumi. He loves the way you wake up with a soft smile, the kind that says everything is right in the world.

As you prepare breakfast, Toji often stands by, watching with admiration. You move through the routine with an ease and grace that mesmerize him, the way you hum a soft tune or how you softly chat with Megumi, turning the mundane into something magical.

Mornings are Toji’s favorite time to bond with his son. He takes Megumi in his arms, holding him close as he prepares to start the day. They play together, their laughter filling the room with an infectious joy that makes Toji’s heart swell.

He sees so much of you in Megumi; Everything he loves about you blossomed in your beautiful son. Megumi had the same curious eyes, the same warm smile—and it makes him fall in love with both of you all over again.

On weekends, the family often goes on small adventures. Whether it’s a stroll through the park, a visit to a nearby museum, or a picnic by the river, Toji treasures these outings.

He loves seeing the world through Megumi’s eyes, watching as his son discovers new things and experiences the simple joys of life. He takes pride in being a part of these moments, knowing that he’s helping to create cherished memories for his family.

At night, after Megumi is asleep and the house quiets down, Toji and you find time to connect. These moments of solitude are a chance to share your thoughts and dreams, to reflect on the day and plan for the future.

The conversations are often deep and meaningful, touching on everything from hopes and fears to the little details of daily life. It’s in these conversations that Toji feels most connected to you, realizing how deeply you understand and support him.

Sometimes, Toji thinks back to the days when his life was filled with chaos and uncertainty. He can’t believe how far he’s come, how much he’s changed. And every time he looks at you or Megumi, he’s reminded of just how much he’s gained. The family he’s built with you is a testament to the love and resilience you both share.

As he drifts off to sleep beside you, Toji feels a profound sense of contentment. The days are filled with laughter and love, the nights with peace and connection. He knows that his past is behind him, that he’s finally found the life he was meant to have.

In the quiet darkness, Toji holds you close, grateful for the life you’ve created together. He’s found something he never thought possible—a home, a family, and a love that makes everyday worth living.

And as he whispers a quiet “thank you” into the night, he knows that the greatest gift he’s ever received is the love and happiness you and Megumi have brought into his life.

══════════════════

HE REALLY THINKS THIS IS THE BEST LIFE ANYONE CAN ASK FOR. Fushiguro Toji enjoys the life you’ve built together. He really does. But lately, a thought has been lingering in his mind, one that keeps surfacing during the quiet moments.

He wonders if maybe life would be even better, fuller—if you and he were to give Megumi a sibling. It’s not that he doesn’t love the way things are now. Ever since Megumi was born, everything shifted naturally; your priorities changed, and together, you’ve navigated this new life of parenthood seamlessly.

But still, Toji can’t help but worry. Megumi is growing up fast—already past his first birthday and nearing his second. He’s independent in his own quiet way, rarely showing interest in playing with other kids when given the chance. Toji wonders if maybe it’s because Megumi feels a little lonely, being an only child.

Toji doesn’t voice these thoughts out loud often, but they weigh on his mind. You’ve both done well to balance your lives, your love, and your responsibilities. But he imagines another child, a little sibling for Megumi—someone to share those quiet afternoons and keep him company.

Maybe it’s time to think about it, he muses. After all, family has always been at the center of his thoughts, and adding to yours feels like the natural next step.

Your husband hasn’t brought it up yet, not directly. It’s hard for him to find the right moment, the right words. He’s not one for long conversations or deep discussions, but you know him well enough to notice when something is on his mind.

Lately, he’s been watching Megumi more closely, observing the way your son plays quietly by himself, content in his little world but lacking the spark of excitement that other kids seem to find when surrounded by their peers.

He’s seen it when you’re both at the park, Megumi clinging to your leg instead of running around with the other children. He doesn’t push it—Megumi is still young, and Toji knows better than anyone that everyone moves at their own pace.

But the nagging thought remains: maybe what Megumi needs isn’t just more playdates or time with other kids. Maybe he needs someone at home, a sibling to grow up with, to bond with. Someone who’ll always be there, someone who’ll understand him in a way only a sibling can.

In those quiet moments when the house is calm, and Megumi is tucked away in bed, Toji imagines what it might be like. The sounds of laughter from another room, two pairs of small feet running down the hallway.

The way you’d smile, holding another little one in your arms. The thought makes him feel warm, something he doesn’t experience often. It’s not just about Megumi anymore, he knows that too well. It’s also about the life you’re building, the family you’ve already started. And deep down, he knows he wants to keep growing it.

Still, he wonders how you’ll feel about it. You’ve both been so focused on Megumi, on making sure he’s happy and cared for. Will you think it’s too soon? Will you worry about the shift it would cause in your lives again, the added responsibility?

These thoughts swirl in his mind as he considers how to approach the subject. He doesn’t want to push, but the desire is there, quietly persistent, tugging at him with each passing day.

So one evening, when the house is peaceful and the two of you are sitting together, watching Megumi’s small chest rise and fall as he sleeps, Toji finally lets the words slip out.

“Do you think… Megumi’s lonely?” His voice is soft, almost tentative. He’s not used to sounding uncertain, but this feels like new territory for him. “Like, maybe he’d do better with a sibling?”

The question hangs in the air, unspoken emotions carried within it, waiting for your response.

You pause for a moment, taking in Toji’s words. It’s not a question you expected, but knowing him, you realize this has been on his mind for a while. His concern for Megumi is clear, and the idea of giving your son a sibling is something you’ve thought about before, though not as seriously. But now, hearing it from Toji, you realize it’s more than just a passing thought—it’s a real possibility.

You glance over at Megumi, fast asleep in his crib, peaceful and unaware of the weight of this conversation. He’s always been a quiet, introspective child, and it’s true—he doesn’t seem to enjoy the company of other kids all that much.

Your little boy is happy to be around you both, that was true enough. He always loves spending time with you both. But with other kids? It's a tough crowd when it comes to your little boy.

But you’ve always assumed he’d grow out of it, that he’d find his own way to connect. Still, there’s a small part of you that wonders if Toji is right. Maybe Megumi is lonely, and maybe the best thing for him would be to have a sibling to share his life with.

You shift closer to Toji, resting your head against his shoulder. “I don’t know, baby.” you admit softly. “Maybe. He does seem to keep to himself a lot… but he’s still so young. Do you really think a sibling would make a difference?”

Toji lets out a low sigh, his arm wrapping around you as he considers his words. “I think it could. I mean, I didn’t grow up with much family, and I turned out…” He trails off, a hint of a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Well, let’s just say I don’t want that for Megumi. He deserves more.”

You smile at his attempt to lighten the mood, but the thought lingers in your mind. Toji’s childhood was different—lonely in a way that you know he doesn’t talk about often. Maybe that’s why this means so much to him. Maybe he wants Megumi to have something he never did.

“You think we’re ready for that?” you ask, glancing up at him. It’s a big decision, one that would change everything, again. But there’s something comforting about the idea, too. “I mean with how busy we are and Megumi…”

You’ve seen Toji with Megumi, the way he’s softened since becoming a father. And you love it. More than anything, it was what you think that fulfilled your life — making Toji a father and building a family. him.

But you haven’t thought about it just yet. But now that you’re thinking about it….the thought of adding another little one to your family, watching Toji bond with another child, feels right in a way that you hadn’t fully realized until now.

Toji meets your gaze, his expression more serious now. “I think we are. It’s not gonna be easy, but nothing ever is, right? We made it work with Megumi, and we’ll make it work again.”

His confidence reassures you, and the weight of the decision starts to feel less overwhelming. You’re not just thinking about yourselves anymore; you’re thinking about Megumi and the family you’re building together.

You lean into him, letting his warmth and the quiet of the evening wrap around you both. “Okay, okay….” you say softly, the decision settling into your chest. “Let’s think about it. For Megumi. For us.”

Toji presses a gentle kiss to the top of your head, his arms tightening around you. “Yeah,” he murmurs, his voice full of something deeper than just words. “For all of us.”

But thinking was one thing. Acting on it, especially when the two of you were so deeply drawn to each other—was something entirely different. Whenever the subject of expanding your family surfaced in conversation, it wasn’t long before the connection between you and Toji shifted into something more intense, more immediate.

There was an undeniable pull between you, something that seemed to ignite in the quiet moments when you were alone together, reminding you just how much you desired one another.

It would often happen in the evening, after a long day of work. The two of you would settle into the comfort of your apartment, exhaustion slipping away as you relaxed on the couch after dinner.

Toji would always keep you close, one arm draped over your shoulders, his hand absently tracing patterns on your skin. The world outside would fade as you settled into your quiet bubble, just the two of you in the stillness of the night.

And then, it would happen slowly at first, with a shared glance, a quiet breath, and the unspoken understanding that there was something deeper simmering beneath the surface.

Toji, always so sure in his movements, would gently guide you from the couch to the soft embrace of the bed, laying you down against the pillow with deliberate care, as if you were something precious. His hands would roam, teasing and familiar, as he removed your clothes piece by piece, his fingers gliding over your skin like he’d memorized every inch of you.

By the time his hand slid between your thighs, you were already lost to him, to the way he touched you with a practiced skill that sent shivers down your spine. His fingers worked their way inside you, slow and deliberate at first, drawing out every bit of pleasure as your body responded to him.

The feeling was electric, the tension between you mounting with each passing second. Toji’s gaze was fixed on you, dark and focused, as if nothing else in the world mattered but the way you were falling apart beneath his touch.

You couldn’t think about anything else in those moments, not about the future or about giving Megumi a sibling. All you could focus on was the sensation of Toji’s fingers moving inside you, the heat of his body pressed against yours, and the sound of your breath hitching in your throat as he pushed you closer and closer to the edge.

Toji knew exactly what he was doing. He always did. The way he touched you, the way he whispered your name in that low, gravelly voice; it drove you wild, leaving you breathless and aching for more. You were wrapped up in him, in the way his fingers curled inside you, his thumb brushing over your most sensitive spot with a precision that made your head spin.

Your back arched, hips instinctively rolling against his hand as the pleasure built, your thoughts scattered in every direction except the present moment. Toji’s lips found your neck, his breath hot against your skin as he whispered, “You’re all mine,” his voice thick with want.

And in that moment, you were. Completely, entirely his. The rest of the world faded away, and all that mattered was the feeling of being lost in him, your body responding to his touch as you let go of everything except the pure, unadulterated pleasure he gave you.

Toji’s fingers moved with a deliberate intensity, his pace quickening as he watched you unravel beneath him. His focus was sharp, every movement calculated to drive you closer to your limit.

You couldn’t hold back the sounds that escaped you—soft gasps, whispers of his name, every noise pulling him deeper into his need for you. His lips brushed against your skin, kissing along your neck, while his other hand gripped your waist, holding you in place as your body arched against him.

"That's it, baby." he murmured, voice rough and low. The heat between you was almost unbearable, the air thick with the tension that always seemed to surge whenever you were alone together.

He was lost in you, in the way your body responded to his touch. His fingers curled inside you, hitting just the right spot that made your breath catch, your hips instinctively lifting toward him as the pressure built in your core.

You were so close, the pleasure winding tight within you, and Toji could sense it. His thumb circled your clit with just the right amount of pressure, the sensation sending a jolt of electricity through you.

"You’re gonna come for me, aren’t you?" he whispered, his lips grazing your ear, the command in his voice leaving no room for anything else. "Let go. I’ve got you."

And just like that, the tension inside you snapped. Your body tensed, then released in a flood of warmth and sensation, a wave of pleasure crashing over you as you cried out, hands clutching at the sheets beneath you.

Toji’s fingers didn’t stop, drawing every last bit of pleasure from you as he held you through it, his lips pressed against your skin, murmuring soft, unintelligible words of praise.

Your body trembled beneath him, the aftershocks of your orgasm still pulsing through you as you tried to catch your breath. Toji slowly withdrew his fingers, but his touch remained gentle, his hand trailing softly along your thigh as he looked down at you, a satisfied smirk playing at the corners of his lips.

“You’re perfect like this, baby.” he said quietly, almost to himself. His hand moved to brush a strand of hair away from your face, his eyes softening as they met yours. “Always so damn perfect.”

Your body is still coming down from the high when you look at him, the warmth of his breath brushing against your skin as he hovers above you, his smirk deepening. There's a glint in his eyes, that unmistakable fire, as if the conversation you’d had earlier is still echoing in the back of his mind.

You don’t even have to think too hard about it; it’s like an instinct when you tell him, voice breathless, “I want to give you a baby again.”

Toji’s grin widens, his brow arching slightly. “Oh, is that right?” he teases, his hand trailing lazily down your side, lingering on your hip. But then he leans in closer, his lips grazing the shell of your ear. “What’s stopping you then, huh?”

You shake your head vigorously, letting out a soft hum of disagreement, not entirely trusting his intentions. Toji’s always been a dirty fucking liar when it comes to things like this, promising things he knows will make you weak, things you know he’ll never deliver on.

Yet somehow, even knowing that, you still find it in yourself to love him. And maybe that's why, despite everything, you still let him have you like this, completely bare, letting him slide into you raw, no barriers between you.

He wastes no time, pushing your legs back, your knees nearly pressed up to your chest as he thrusts into you. The intensity is overwhelming, each deep stroke driving you further into the mattress, making your body shake under his relentless pace.

Toji's grip is strong, controlling, one hand pinning your thigh back as the other rests on your waist, holding you in place like he owns you. And in these moments, it feels like he does.

He has a hold on you in ways you can’t quite explain, two different kinds of control—one physical, the other something deeper, emotional, binding you to him in a way that’s undeniable.

“You’re really getting into it huh, sweetheart?” His voice drips with mock sweetness, but there’s a dark edge to it, each word paired with a heavy, punishing thrust that knocks the breath out of you. “You want me to fill up that sweet little belly?”

His words are a tease, malicious in the way only Toji can be, his voice laced with cruel affection. His grin matches it, sharp and selfish, as if he knows exactly what he’s doing to you, how every filthy promise pushes you closer to the brink. Your mind is spinning, caught between wanting to resist and wanting to give in completely.

Then, his pace slows slightly, his hand gripping your jaw as he forces you to look up at him, his gaze locking with yours. The teasing drops, replaced with something far more commanding. His eyes burn with an intensity that makes your stomach flip, and his voice, low and rough, sends shivers down your spine.

“Gimme fuckin’ words, baby.” he growls, his tone leaving no room for disobedience. “I need words.”

Your breath hitches, the weight of his command settling heavy in the pit of your stomach. You know what he’s asking for—he needs to hear it from you, needs the affirmation that you’re his, that you want this just as much as he does. His pace haughtily picks up again, a merciless rhythm, every thrust driving deeper as he waits for your response.

“I—” you try to catch your breath, your voice shaky as you struggle to form the words. But the sensation is too much, the way he’s filling you, stretching you, making it hard to think about anything but the overwhelming pleasure coursing through your body. “I want you,” you finally manage, voice barely above a whisper.

Toji’s dark green eyes narrow slightly, unsatisfied with your answer. He grabs your chin harder, his pace growing even more ruthless. “That’s not enough, baby.” he growls, his voice a dangerous rasp. “Tell me. What do you want?”

Your mind is foggy, body trembling beneath him, and you can feel yourself on the edge again, teetering close to the point of no return. His dominance over you in this moment is absolute, and you can’t fight it, can’t resist the pull of his command.

“I want you to fill me up, babe.” you finally gasp, your words spilling out in a rush, almost desperate. “I want your baby, Toji.”

His response is immediate, a low, satisfied groan rumbling from his chest as he picks up the pace, driving into you with a newfound intensity.

“That’s my good girl right there, hm?” he growls, his grip tightening as he slams into you with brutal force, his voice thick with satisfaction. “You’re gonna take all of me, aren’t you? Gonna let me give you exactly what you asked for.”

Your body answers for you, already falling apart beneath him as his words send you spiraling into another wave of pleasure. Every thrust pushes you deeper into the mattress, your legs shaking, your breath ragged as Toji takes what’s his, just like he always does.

And even through the haze of pleasure, you know there’s no escaping him. Toji has you—mind, body, and soul—and there’s nothing you wouldn’t give him, nothing you wouldn’t do for him.

Toji’s grip on you tightens as the intensity between you both heightens. His hips slam into yours with an unrelenting force, each thrust harder and deeper than the last, driving you closer to the edge with every movement.

Your husband was too good at playing this game of pleasure. You were hanging on for dear life, stuck in a pleasurable pandemonium. The rough rhythm of his body against yours, combined with the filthy words spilling from his mouth, sends shockwaves through your entire being.

“Yeah, that’s it, baby.” he growls, his voice dark with possession. “You’re gonna let me fill you up, huh? Make you mine all over again, just like you want.”

You can barely form coherent thoughts as your body responds to him, legs trembling with the sheer force of his thrusts. The sounds of your shared breathing, the slap of skin against skin, and the creak of the mattress fill the room, an unspoken rhythm between you two that’s as primal as it is intimate.

You’re completely at his mercy, pinned beneath him, helpless to do anything but feel. This man occupies everything in you as easily as you breathe. And you wanted him. You wanted more of him.

“Toji—” you gasp, his name leaving your lips like a prayer, your nails digging into his shoulders, holding on to him for dear life. Your whole world narrows down to this moment, the heat of his body on yours, the way he’s completely taken over your senses.

He releases one of your legs, shifting slightly to lean down, his lips brushing against your ear, hot and heavy with every breath. “You’re gonna take all of it, aren’t you?” he murmurs, his tone laced with both a command and a dark kind of affection. “Every last drop.”

His words send a jolt through you, pushing you closer to the edge you’ve been teetering on. The pressure builds inside you, winding tight in your belly, threatening to snap at any second. And Toji knows it. He can feel the way your body clenches around him, the way your breath hitches with every thrust.

“Say it again, baby.” he demands, his pace somehow growing even more brutal, hips pounding into you relentlessly. “Tell me what you want.”

Your heart races, and it takes everything in you to gasp out the words between broken breaths. “I want you to fill me up… I want your baby, Toji, please—” Your voice is desperate, the plea tumbling out before you can stop it.

The satisfaction in his eyes is unmistakable, his lips curving into a wicked grin as he growls in response. “Good girl.”

And with that, he pushes you over the edge. Your orgasm hits you like a tidal wave, your body convulsing beneath him as the pleasure crashes through you, wave after wave, your voice breaking as you cry out.

Toji doesn’t stop, his thrusts driving deeper, harder, drawing every last bit of pleasure from you until you’re left trembling, barely able to catch your breath.

He’s close too; you can feel it in the way his movements grow more erratic, his grip on your hips tightening as he chases his own release. He lets out a low, guttural moan, his pace faltering for a moment before he slams into you one final time, his hips flush against yours as he fills you completely, the warmth of him spilling deep inside you.

Toji’s body goes tense for a brief second, and then he collapses against you, his breath ragged and heavy as he rides out the last waves of his release. His hand moves to brush a strand of hair from your face, his eyes softened now, the intense fire in them dimmed into something more tender.

He presses a kiss to your forehead, still holding you close, his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. “You’re perfect, perfectttt. Just like that, baby.” he murmurs, his voice quieter now, the raw edge gone. “Every damn time.”

You’re still catching your breath, your body exhausted but sated, the warmth of him pressed against you grounding you in the moment. There’s something comforting in the way he holds you after, a quiet reassurance that, despite his teasing and rough exterior, there’s a deep connection between you both that runs far beyond words.

Toji’s body stays pressed against yours, his breathing still heavy as he recovers from the intensity of what you just shared. The room feels warm, the quiet between you filled with the soft sounds of your breathing, the lingering sensation of him still deep inside you. For a moment, it’s peaceful, like you’re both floating in the afterglow.

But that peace doesn’t last long.

You feel him stir against you, his lips brushing over your skin, trailing soft kisses along your collarbone. His hand slides over your waist, fingers tracing lazy circles on your bare skin. There’s a shift in the air, a subtle change in his energy that you recognize immediately. He’s not done—not even close.

Your husband recovers so fast, you couldn't even help but wonder what sort of super human he is. When he gets excited, he won't stop until he makes that excitement have fulfilment. And Fushiguro Toji will take an take. His monster of pleasure demands to be full.

“Toji…” you whisper, your voice already betraying the anticipation that’s starting to build again. You feel his smirk against your skin, the low chuckle that vibrates through his chest as he kisses his way up to your neck, nipping softly at your pulse point.

“You didn’t think I was finished with you, did you? Need for my come to take, baby. Need to give you as much as possible.” he murmurs, voice dark with intent. His hand moves down, fingers grazing the inside of your thigh, teasing, as if testing your readiness for what’s to come. “Besides, baby, Iknow you can take more. You always do.”

Before you can even respond, Toji pulls out of you slowly, the absence of him leaving you aching, only to have him slide back in a moment later—deeper, harder, the sudden stretch drawing a sharp gasp from your lips. He groans softly, his hands gripping your hips as he starts moving, this time with a slower, more deliberate rhythm.

His hips roll against yours, each thrust precise, dragging out the sensation with agonizing slowness. You can feel him fully, every inch of him stretching you, filling you up completely as he starts to build up the intensity again. Your legs instinctively wrap around his waist, pulling him closer, urging him to take more of you.

“Toji—” you moan, your hands finding their way to his shoulders, fingers digging into the firm muscles of his back as he presses you deeper into the mattress.

“Shh, baby. ” he whispers, leaning down so that his lips are inches from yours, his breath hot against your skin. “I’m gonna take my time with you, like I always do. You'd let me, won't you, mama?”

And he does. He moves at his own pace, each thrust measured and controlled, as if he’s savoring every second of being inside you. His eyes lock onto yours, that commanding intensity from earlier returning as he watches every reaction you give him.

It’s almost too much, the way he’s making you feel so exposed, so vulnerable beneath him, but you can’t tear your gaze away. You’re completely at his mercy. Perhaps even more than before. It was just the way it was between the two of you. And you can't help but want it.

His hand moves between your bodies, fingers finding your clit, rubbing in slow, tight circles that send sparks shooting through your core. The combination of his deep, deliberate thrusts and the focused attention on your most sensitive spot is overwhelming, and you can already feel the pressure building again, faster this time.

“You’re such a good baby girl, my little wife, huh?” he groans, his voice gravelly with desire. “You love it, don’t you? Love the way I fuck you, mama.”

You nod, unable to form words, your body reacting to him instinctively. His thick thumb presses harder against your clit, and your hips buck up toward him, chasing the pleasure that’s building so quickly it’s almost dizzying.

“Use your words, my baby. I need your words to be clear, hm?” he orders, his voice sharp and commanding. “Tell me how much you love it.”

“I— I love it, babe. I….Oh–” you gasp, barely able to get the words out as the pleasure coils tight inside you. “I love how you fuck me, Toji.”

“That’s it, baby. Good girl, my pretty wife.” he groans, his pace picking up as he drives into you harder now, more relentlessly. “You’re gonna come for me again, aren’t you? Like the good little wife you are? Gonna make me a daddy again, huh?”

You can feel yourself getting closer, every nerve in your body on fire as he takes you right to the edge again. His hand doesn’t stop, rubbing firm circles against your clit, and the pressure inside you becomes unbearable.

“Toji, please—” you moan, your voice desperate.

“I know, baby, I know.” he whispers, his pace quickening, his thrusts becoming rougher, more erratic as he chases his own release. “Come for me. I want to feel you fall apart again.”

His words push you over the edge, and your orgasm crashes through you, harder than before. Your body clenches around him, back arching as your eyes squeeze shut, the pleasure almost too much to handle. Toji groans low in his throat as he feels you tighten around him, his hips slamming into yours as he rides out every wave of your release.

You’re barely coming down from your high when you feel him thrust into you one last time, his grip on your hips bruising as he finally lets go, his own release hitting him hard. He moans your name, the sound of it rough and primal, as he fills you completely, his body going rigid above you.

For a long moment, neither of you move, the room filled with the sounds of your heavy breathing, your bodies still tangled together. Toji’s weight is comforting against you, grounding you as you come back down from the intensity of everything that just happened.

Finally, he pulls out slowly, rolling onto his back beside you. His arm reaches out, pulling you close so that you’re curled against his chest, your head resting on his shoulder. There’s a soft, satisfied hum in his throat as he presses a kiss to your forehead, his fingers lazily stroking your arm.

“You’re something else, baby.” he murmurs, his voice full of lazy affection, though there’s still that edge of satisfaction in it, like he knows exactly how much control he has over you.

You don’t need to respond—he already knows how deeply he affects you, how much you need him just as much as he needs you. And as you lie there in the quiet, wrapped in each other’s warmth, you can’t help but think about how, despite all of Toji’s roughness and teasing, there’s no place you’d rather be than here, in his arms. And you wish, so desperately, that you could give him another child.

══════════════════

epilogue

The next morning, you’re still tangled up in the sheets, but it’s not out of luxury. You try to move, but as soon as you shift an inch, your body protests with an aching reminder of exactly what Toji had done to you last night. Every muscle feels like it’s been through a battle, and you can't help but groan as you flop back onto the bed, surrendering to the pain.

From the doorway, you hear the sound of little footsteps padding across the floor. Megumi toddles in, clutching a stuffed animal under his arm, his wide eyes peeking over the edge of the bed. Behind him, Toji strides in, smirking like the smug devil he is.

“Morning, baby.” Toji says, far too chipper for someone who’d spent the entire night wrecking you. He’s holding a tray with what looks like breakfast—eggs, toast, and even a small bowl of fruit—but what stands out is the cup of coffee that you need more than air right now.

“Morning.” you croak, wincing as you try to sit up, only to immediately regret it. “I can’t feel my legs, babe. Pretty sure you broke me.”

Toji lets out a low chuckle, clearly proud of himself. “Yeah? Thought you liked it when I went all out.”

“Liking it and being able to walk after are two different things, you know.” you grumble, pulling the blanket up higher as Megumi stares at you with that same curious expression.

Toji sets the tray down on the bedside table, then leans down to kiss your forehead. “Guess I’ll have to carry you everywhere today, huh?” His voice is thick with amusement, and you shoot him a half-hearted glare, but honestly, you’re too tired to fight back.

“Please do, babe. I’m basically a noodle.”

Just then, Megumi climbs up onto the bed, his little hands gripping the edge as he pulls himself up with determination. He plops down beside you, his stuffed animal tucked under his chin. You smile, your heart warming despite the soreness, and Toji hands you the tray, still smirking like he’s king of the world.

“Breakfast in bed, as promised,” he says, crossing his arms like he’s just done you the biggest favor in the world. “Made it with Megumi. Though, uh, you might wanna avoid the toast. He helped with that.”

You glance down at the toast in question, one piece charred to a crisp, the other half-raw in the middle. “I see his culinary skills are coming along nicely.”

Toji laughs, sitting down at the edge of the bed. “Hey, he’s learning. Can’t all be naturals like me.”

You raise an eyebrow, but before you can shoot back a sarcastic remark, Megumi climbs into Toji’s lap, looking between the two of you with that innocent, wide-eyed look only toddlers can pull off. “Hm, hm. I love my good house husband, really.”

“As you should, baby.” He snickers back at you. “No one else will be like this for you but me.”

“I know, I know.” You say as you continue to eat.

He smiles and kisses your head. “Good.”

“Toji, babe….” you say, setting the tray aside and carefully reaching out to ruffle Megumi’s hair. “If I can’t walk today, you're on diaper duty.”

Toji looks genuinely horrified for a split second. "Now, wait a minute—"

"All your fault, Mr. 'let me give you a baby,’" you tease, biting into your eggs while giving him a pointed look. "So, now you get to deal with the consequences."

Megumi looks up at him, blinking with his bright big eyes, and Toji sighs dramatically. "Fine, fine." he says, giving you that classic Toji smirk. “But next time, you’re gettin’ the easy job.”

You roll your eyes, though there’s a playful smile on your face. “Next time, maybe go easy on me so I can still stand.”

Toji grins, leaning in to press a kiss to your lips, voice low and teasing. “No promises, baby.”

And with that, the morning unfolds with you lounging in bed, Fushiguro Megumi occasionally wandering over to offer you his stuffed animal, and Toji trying (and failing) to get through diaper duty without swearing under his breath. You can’t help but laugh at the sight of him, the big, tough man reduced to toddler chaos.

But despite everything;

the soreness, the teasing, the burnt toast—you wouldn’t have it any other way.

This is life.

1K notes · View notes

flat-neines · 4 months ago

Text

To throw my hat in the ring,, he needs more warriors.

Between the inner circle's own vitriol (their own traumas shouldn't be getting in the way for the huge positions they're in), the massacres of both illyrians and hewn city denizens (from aramantha's regime to all the soldiers dying in ACOWAR) and the day to day brutality that the people of Illyria/HC live in, male, female, otherwise; I don't think he has that many men left to fuel the machine that keeps his rule going. Rhysand's own callous usage of soldiers, who aren't truly his to command, has possibly dwindled the number of active/able military into something unviable.

I also think that this is why he's pushing for the revival of the valkyries so hard. Rhysand doesn't have a standing army, and the number of disposable soldiers he does have has dwindled below a point that they're worth negotiating for. But, you have these vulnerable group of women, who would do anything to escape the horrors they're living, even for a moment. A group large enough, if organized by the "wrong" person can severely threaten the control he has over his court (a problem that wouldn't exist if he actually did his job instead, but alas)

What better way to neutralize both problems than dangle the illusion of freedom/closure to these desperate women by basically making the only option of escape military service? And furthermore locking any potential mobility/independence down by having specifically Nesta, who is functionally assimilated into the inner circle and is mated to cassian, who's completely loyal to Rhysand at the head of the valkyrie army?

It creates an even more vicious cycle: Rhysand needs expendable bodies for a scheme> HC/illyria is jerked around for this > these males take thier anger out on the women + children in those same societies > the women become desperate, joining the valkyries because between their former situation, this is miles better; filling the quota.

And these women who become valkyries are now rhysand's personal army, becoming complicit in the repression that the inner circle enforces upon HC/illyria: forming a catch 22 that prevents desertion and keeps more bodies to die in service to the night court.

This is completely unsustainable in the long term (Rhysand obviously doesn't care about that) and will lead a tipping point that will either:

A. an external collapse where the inner circle is unable to maintain any momentum they have in power against an enemy because they've exhausted all thier internal resources

B. complete implosion via violent revolution of the night court by its remaining citizens (velaris included) because they basically have nothing left to lose

Tldr; rhysand is incompetent, and he mismanages the military horribly because of this

Is Rhysand truly concerned about women's well- being and rights in the Ilyrian mountains... or is he just wanting more warriors trained for his own use?

He seems to only focus on their training, which I get is a big part of their culture, but wouldn't it make sense to expand and introduce infrastructure, trades, anything beyond just fighting? They said that the Ilyrian didn't even have common goods stores until the last 50 years...oh wait wasn't that when Rhys left?

There's brief mentions on the disapproval of wing clippings, but nothing is done to stop it. And that still wouldn't prove his actual concern for their well-being, just the fact that impacts them as warriors.

#i love the valkyries #but thier iteration in canon is horrifying to see when taken into a larger picture #the ic is taking traumatized women especially from illyria to wage thier wars now #under the guise of “freedom” and “empowerment”#and the lack of any illyrians in the library #makes this even more glaring #what's worse is that by doing this #feysand is setting up nyx to be scapegoated/killed during the collapse of the nc #as hes a far easier target than the two of them #sjm's self insertion has done unspoken damage to so much of acotar as a series #bc god forbid rhysand is wrong sometimes #story thoughts #anti sjm #anti inner circle #anti rhysand #fae briton (derogatory)

75 notes · View notes

save-the-data · 2 months ago

Text

Kiss Me with Unspoken Love | S01P08

Thai Mobile Drama - 2024

Genres: #LGBTQ+

Tags: #Lakorn | #Student Male Lead | #Teacher Male Lead | #Short Length Series

Cast: #Tor Atagorn

Catalog: Episode GIF sets | Thai BL | Thai Drama

#Drama: Kiss Me with Unspoken Love #TDrama #Mobile Drama #Thai Mobile Drama - 2024 #LGBTQ+#Lakorn #Student Male Lead #Teacher Male Lead #Short Length Series #Tor Atagorn #Kiss Episode

6 notes · View notes

violentdelightsandviolentends · 1 year ago

Text

Pity Party.

Synopsis - Carmy just wants to see you treated the way he thinks you deserve. He decides to take matters into his own hands.

Pairing - Carmen Berzatto x Female Roommate Reader

Word Count - 3k

Warnings - smut. cursing. alcohol mention. carmys filthy mouth.

Age Rating - 18+

Author's Note - hello hello hello!! i am back!! i had a wonderful vacation soaking up the sun, and i am feeling refreshed and ready to go. i have had so many ideas over the past few weeks, so i'm excited to get some of them written asap!! this was a fic that came to me randomly, as i was thinking about roommate!carmen and how much of a menace he'd be if you ever talked about other guys. this was written as a part of my carmen roommates collection. it doesn't follow on from Finders, Keepers or Sweet Dreams, but it does exist in the same universe - so you can decide if this takes place before or after!! as always, feel free to send me any ideas or thoughts or burning desires you have. so much love <3

as always, reblogs, comments and feedback (even anonymous feedback) are immensely appreciated!! your reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics, which keeps me going <3

Series Masterlist. Masterlist. Inbox.

"You're back early."

Carmy had swung the door open, expecting to come home to an empty apartment. Instead, he's met with the sight of you, sitting on the couch, undoing the straps of your shoes.

"Fuckin' disaster," you mutter, loud enough for him to hear.

He breathes out a chuckle at the stormy look on your face. Carmy thinks you're cutest when you're angry. He aches to smooth the crease between your brows with his thumb.

"That bad?" he asks, taking a seat next you and kicking off his sneakers.

"You wouldn't even believe."

He rises and makes his way to the kitchen, filling the tea kettle and placing it on the stove top. Grabbing two mugs, he casts a glance over his shoulder at you, frowning at your body language. You look defeated.

Carmy steeps two cups of tea, placing one of them carefully into your waiting hands. He resumes his seat on the sofa, pressing his thigh against yours and turning to face you.

"You wanna talk about it?"

You think for a moment before replying.

"You're gonna laugh at me."

His face instantly crumples, confusion written all over it.

"I'll never laugh at you. I'll laugh with you, sure. But never at you."

He nudges your shoulder with his, urging you to go on.

"Okay, fine. The actual date was pretty good. He took me to that Italian place downtown-"

"Dolce Vita? Did you get the truffle pasta I told you about?" Carmy interrupts you before you can continue.

"Yes, oh my God. It was incredible. Do you think you can recreate it sometime?"

"Fuck yeah. They're pretty secretive with their recipes, but I think I can figure it out. You can help me if you want - I'm gonna need a sous chef."

He pulls a reluctant laugh from you, the sound echoing off the ceramic of your mugs. You both know that being the sous chef involves you sitting on the counter drinking wine while Carmy does all the work.

"Of course. I'll always be your sous chef."

"I'll hold you to that."

You smile at him gently, a little taken aback by the sincerity in his voice.

"Anyway. The dinner went great. He seemed super interested in me, asked me questions, told me about his job, his hobbies, his dog. He was hot, and good to talk to. I thought I'd hit the jackpot."

"And then?"

"And then we went back to his apartment. And it all went to shit."

He chuckles, blue eyes glinting in the moonlight.

"Tell me more."

"You really want to hear about all of this?"

It's not like you and Carmy aren't close. You absolutely are. It's just that there's always been this unspoken connection between the two of you. A bubbling, fiery attraction that you both shut down repeatedly, screwing the lid on tight whenever it rears its head. So, you tend to avoid talking to Carmy about dating. You're scared you'll accidentally blurt out the truth - you compare every single date to him.

"Of course I do."

His answer is so genuine it makes you ache. You continue, hesitantly.

"Well... things got a little... heavy. He wasn't a bad kisser, I guess... he just wasn't... a good one? He kept biting my lip super hard and it kinda hurt. Then he pulled my clothes off like a high schooler, and he's on top of me, and I'm waiting for him to sort of... do... anything? And then he's finished. Like, completely done. And then he has the nerve to ask me if I finished."

Carmy's mouth has fallen open, shock etched across his face. After a long, heavy pause, he speaks.

"What the fuck?"

You look at him for moment, before bursting into contagious laughter. He joins you, both of you with your heads thrown back, giggles reverberating around the lowlit room.

"I mean, seriously," he pants, still laughing. "What the fuck?"

"I didn't even answer him. I just put my clothes on, grabbed my bag and left without saying a word."

Every time you try to stifle your laughter, a giggle escapes. The situation wasn't funny at the time, but looking back, it's hilarious.

All of a sudden, you both go silent. You're deep in thought, reflecting on the seemingly never ending stream of bad dates that you've endured. Carmy is watching you intently, ocean blue eyes glued to your face.

"Fuck," you breathe. "This is kinda pathetic."

Carmy inhales deeply, and turns his body so it's facing yours on the couch.

"The way I see it," he begins, "you have two options."

You quirk a brow in confusion and stay quiet, waiting for him to explain.

"You can sit here feeling sorry for yourself, or, you can let me fuck you the way you deserve."

Your mouth falls open in shock at the exact same moment your brain seems to shut down. You can't think. You can't process his words. All you can focus on is the way he's staring at you. You suddenly feel hot under his gaze, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up. A shiver runs down your spine, and you have to remind yourself to breathe.

"Wh-... what?" you choke out.

"You heard me, honey. You can wallow in your little pity party, or you can let me show you what it's like to be with someone who can actually make you come. Your choice."

His voice has dropped an octave lower than usual, the tone warm and honeyed. He's still staring at you, blue gaze unrelenting.

"Is this gonna fuck everything up between us?" you whisper hesitantly.

Carmy reaches out and places a gentle hand on your cheek, thumb stroking careful circles into your skin.

"I don't think anything can fuck up what we have," he murmurs. "You're the only thing in my life that makes sense."

His confession seems to sober you up, the honesty in his words snapping you back to your senses.

"Okay."

He almost does a double take at the sureness in your voice.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Put your money where your mouth is, Carmen."

"There she is," he chuckles. "You scared me when you went quiet for a second there."

"Well, if what you say is true, you're not gonna be able to shut me up for the night."

He laughs darkly, and slides closer to you slightly.

"Oh, honey. You're gonna wish you hadn't said that."

He tucks a strand of hair behind your ear, tracing the journey of your neck with his fingertips. He rests his hand lightly at the base of your throat, the heavy weight of it making you pant.

"If there's any point where you don't like something, or you want me to slow down, just say so. Okay?"

You nod your head, entranced by the sudden dominance he's displaying. You've never seen this side of him before. You can't believe he's been hiding it this whole time.

"Words, pretty. Need to hear you say it."

"Yes. I understand. I'll tell you, I promise."

He doesn't say anything in reply, just smirks. He lets you sit in the silence for a moment too long, the anticipation slowly killing you.

"Please, Carmen," you breathe. "Please."

"Fuck," he groans, shuffling closer to you. "You sound so pretty when you beg."

Carmy leans in and kisses your cheek gently, testing the waters. He presses a kiss to your other cheek, and pulls back to watch for your reaction. When he's happy, he tilts forward and leaves a careful kiss on your chin, then your forehead, then both of your closed eyes, before kissing you on the side of your mouth. His closeness makes you whine, desperate for him to give you what you want.

Finally, he connects his lips to yours, starting off slow and tender. When you tangle your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck and try to pull him even closer, his resolve snaps. His tongue sweeps into your mouth, exploring eagerly. You clamber over him and climb into his lap, straddling his hips and pressing yourself into his body.

Carmy can't decide where to put his hands. He's grabbing at your waist, running his fingers up your back, pulling you into him by your ass. You're both groaning into each others mouths, enraptured by the other person and the all consuming way they kiss.

"Can I take this off?" he asks lowly, pulling at the hem of your dress.

Instead of answering, you pull it over your head, throwing it onto the floor in front of you.

"Fuck," he murmurs. "Most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

His hands are roaming all of your exposed skin, as if he can't get enough. He's terrified he won't ever get to see you like this again, so he's not going to waste a second.

You grind your hips down into his, eliciting a groan from the both of you. His hands tighten their grip on your waist, as he leans up to press open mouthed kisses to your jaw. Your fingers fly to the hem of his t shirt, pulling it off swiftly. You manage to shove his jeans down and off, before attempting to pull off his underwear. Carmy stops you in your tracks.

"Nuh uh," he tuts. "This is about you. Not me."

He pulls you off his lap gently and shuffles so his back is resting against the couch cushions. He spreads his legs wide, and gestures for you to sit between them. When you don't move, he looks at you carefully.

"Give me a color, pretty girl."

You take a deep breath, and smile at him softly.

"Green, Carmen. Promise."

You manoeuvre sideways, so you can place yourself with your back to his chest. He wraps his arms around you for a moment and holds you tightly, as if he's scared you'll disappear any second. You relax into his embrace, all the tension leaving your body. You have nothing to worry about. It's just you and Carmen, in the place you call home.

You drop your head back into Carmy's shoulder, and allow yourself to get lost in the feeling of his hands on your skin. He's begun tracing patterns down your arms, your sides, your stomach, until he reaches your underwear. He plays with the band, dipping his finger underneath in a feather light touch. Goose bumps rise across your body and you shiver, practically vibrating with need.

"Carmen," you whisper. "Don't tease."

"But that's half the fun," he murmurs into your ear, and you can hear the smile in his voice.

You can picture it perfectly, too. The way his eyes crinkle, the way his mouth curves, the way he bites his lip to stifle it. The image in your mind makes you melt into him further. You want to be as close to him as you physically can be. You'd completely disappear into him if you could.

He brings you back to reality by cupping you over your underwear, groaning when he feels the saturated material.

"Oh, pretty girl. Is this all for me? Fuck."

Suddenly, his game of teasing has lost all its fun. Carmy twists his fingers into your underwear and pulls them off in one swift movement, throwing them in the general direction of your dress on the floor. He places a hand on each of your thighs and spreads them apart, hooking them over his legs.

Carmy starts off slow, careful. He caresses over your skin, gentle and almost apprehensive. When he gets to your core, he swipes a finger through, testing the waters. When you buck your hips into his hand, he knows you're both on the same page.

"Just relax, okay? Gonna make you feel good."

His deep, smooth, whiskey like voice is doing nothing to help the heat bubbling in your stomach. You only whine in response, wiggling your hips to urge him to keep going.

Carmy throws one arm around your stomach, keeping you plastered to his body. You can feel him hot and hard against your back, and you so desperately want to feel him that your mouth is watering. You grind back into him, and he reads your mind.

"Not yet," he whispers. "This is about you, remember? Need to show you what you've been missing."

With that, he circles your clit with two fingers, slowly but surely. He revels in the noises you elicit. They're making him dizzy, disorientated. He never thought he'd be the one to pull a sound like that from you. He's quite convinced he's dreaming.

"Let me hear you. Don't hold back on me, okay?"

You nod your head frantically, willing to give him whatever he asks if you get what you want.

Carmy slips a finger into you slowly, moaning under his breath at your warmth. When he thinks you're ready, he adds a second finger, and sets a steady rhythm, trying to figure out what you like.

After he's set his pace, he starts to curl his fingers on the up stroke, grinning to himself when he finds the spot.

"Yeah? Right there? That's it, isn't it?"

You're nodding and shaking and pawing at his forearms, trying to tether yourself to reality in any way you can. You think you might be floating, on cloud 9, in some sort of euphoric trance. You can't believe no one's ever made you feel like this before. You're convinced no one ever will again.

Carmy quickens his pace and basks in the glory of your moans. He thinks this might be the most beautiful you've ever looked, spread out completely for him. Every inch of your skin is touching his, and it makes his heart skip a beat for a second.

He presses a kiss into your hair and keeps his mouth there, murmuring honeyed praises into your ear.

"Doin' so good for me."

"You got it, honey, that's it."

"Atta girl. Keep going. Almost there."

"You look so fuckin' pretty like this. Fuck. Gonna be thinking about this forever."

"I'll ruin you, baby. Nothing's ever gonna compare to this, to what we have."

All you can do is moan in response, his filthy words pushing you closer and closer to the edge. You're almost there, but something is stopping you. You whine in frustration, tears welling in your eyes. Carmy feels the tension suddenly grasp your muscles, and leans down to mutter to you softly.

"What is it, sweet girl? What do you need? Just tell me. Anything, and I'll give it to you."

You're not sure how much you trust your voice right now, so you decide to show him instead. You take the hand that he's using to hold you to him and move it up your body until it's resting against your throat. You tighten your fingers around his, and moan in response to the pressure.

"Oh, baby," he coos. "Filthy fuckin' girl. Here I thought you were so innocent, and this whole time you wanted to be choked like a whore?"

The way he degrades you so lovingly makes you mewl. You'd never ever trust anyone else to speak to you this way in such an intimate moment - but with Carmen, there's no hesitation. You know he's just telling you what you need to hear in the heat of the moment. And you love him for it.

"Fuck, Carmen," you manage to choke out. "Keep going. Don't stop, please."

"I'll do anything you want if you keep saying my name like that," he whispers.

"Carmen," you moan in response. "Carmy Carmy Carmy Carmy Carmy."

You're chanting his name like a prayer. He's rutting into your back, hips grinding and circling in time with his fingers that are maintaining their steady rhythm. His fingers tighten around your throat as he crooks his digits just right, and the result is a devastating moan from you that Carmy wishes to have on repeat for the rest of his life.

"So close," you whisper hoarsely. "Harder."

Carmy uses his thumb to circle your clit with one hand, other hand pulling you by your neck back into him tightly. He grinds his hips dirtily into you, and the feeling of him so silky and warm against you is what sends you over the edge. The corners of your vision go white as you arch into him, head thrown backwards into his chest. The sounds you're making are so melodic, so borderline angelic that Carmy almost cries. Heaven, he thinks. This is salvation.

Carmy finishes with you, climaxing onto the soft skin of your back. You both relax simultaneously, chests heaving and panting. He removes his fingers gently and wraps both arms around you, pulling you into him tightly despite the mess. He reaches to brush the hair out of your face, and the gesture is so tender it makes your lip quiver.

"Thank you," you whisper after what feels like hours of comfortable silence.

"Sorry I called you a whore," he murmurs back.

You let out a surprised laugh, vibrating with amusement in his arms.

"I know you didn't mean it."

"I mean I did give you the best orgasm of your life, so... call it even?"

"You're forgiven," you chuckle. "Completely forgiven."

You trace gentle patterns over his forearms with your fingertips, following the black ink of his tattoos. He sighs in contentment and places a kiss into your hair, relaxing further into the couch.

You sit together like that for a while, neither of you too concerned with the time. It's not often you see Carmy so relaxed, so serene. You're enjoying it for as long as you can.

"We should clean up," he says quietly, eventually. "Sorry about the mess."

"It's okay. Worth it," you tease, pinching his thigh. He pinches your side in retaliation, which makes you jump.

"Come on, trouble."

He stands from the couch, never letting go of the grip he has on you. You have no choice but to stand with him, yelping as he half carries you through the apartment towards the shower.

The sounds of both of your laughter bounce off of the abandoned mugs of tea still sat on the coffee table, melodic and joyous. The moonlight seeps through the windows, illuminating the beginning of something special in the living room of your shared apartment.

8K notes · View notes

dilf-docs · 17 days ago

Text

I'm Happy Where The Devils Are

dbf!joel miller x younger!reader

summary: something something about forbidden things; you never learn, not until the heart you gave returns to you in shreds, bleeding out of love. what's left when you've given all of your heaven away? hell.

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (but this time it's sad not hot or both idk), smut, p. in v., virgin!reader, (forced??) creampie, fingering, riding, oral (f. receiving), corruption kink, reader has no daddy issues ++her dad is lovely nor mommy issues like me but a secret third thing, ANGST IN CAPITAL, situationship™, jumping very late to this trend or series IDK hope someone still lurks around this neighbourhood, joel has no kids and is unmarried cause i need him to be BITTER, in short this is very AU canon divergence at max coded

word count: 7,629 words

side note: IF U SAW IT POSTED BEFORE NO U DIDN'T IT WAS A HONEST MISTAKE (clicked publish instead of save draft) OKAY i just searched thru my top 2024 songs by spotify for some inspo and well!!!!!! my yet to be dilf RM's (or joon as i, his wife, loves to call him endearingly) song called heaven popped up! those are the vibes if u wanna give it a listen (PLS DO OKAY HE RANKED TOP KOREAN ALBUM THIS YEAR AND I SEE I'M GETTING OFF THE HOOK BUT HE DESERVES IT RAHH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH) and yk i said it's got the miller vibe going on: ANGST™ okay stopping my rambling and letting y'all enjoy (or suffer, idk anymore: as u see, i have a thing for sad complicated old man and suffering myself, because i could've choose any other idea but here goes user dilf-docs the angst whore choosing to suffer again lolz)

part: I / II

It was winter when he first touched you.

Joel Miller: a name you've learned to pronounce like it was spoken on a different language that only you knew.

You've known him for years, a familiar face that stands in corners and only laughs when spoken to, begrundingly, like it's rather a favor than something of his amusement. A guy who would drop by your house until you learned his name like he'd learn the games you'd force him to play. A friend of your dad, who moved back to town and has haunted your house since he stepped a foot inside, tainting the walls with his pine phantom.

Joel's a face you've seen age as much as he's seen you grow out of your pigtails and child-like wonder: and perhaps that's why it's wrong.

It is all so wrong: the way your gaze lingers a bit too long over his tired and bitter expresion, looking for those flickers of softeness that appear when your dad calls him. Old friend, filled with affection, and Joel can't deny the only man who hasn't left his side a smile that he hopes is enough to express what he can't; he's not good with words.

It is all so wrong: how the sheets stick to your body while you scream his name, the sound drowning against your pillow, your body leaking with the secret of an unspoken desire that gets harder to hide with each passing day.

But you can't help it: one day the feelings started to blossom and the admiration left for the crush to harvest until it fully bloomed in your chest. Its petals have asfixiated you ever since.

On winter, you returned to town, like a vice. You always came back for the holidays, a silver of hope that shouldn't exist. You felt it in the air, impregnated with a heartbreak so cutting, it was hard to remember when the winter carried the happiness it should've; all that's left was the cold, harsh feeling.

"Y/n!" your dad embraces your body on a hug as warm as a fireplace, "you're home"

He passes you around the people over, because that's how he always is: joyful, the house full with guests that don't stop at family, but feel as close as those of blood. She came! he loudly yet proudly announces your homecoming, adding small sprinkles of how's college and how smart his little girl is (a nickname he can't let go of, not caring if you were ten then and now just above twenty), not caring if your face is as red as christmas easters.

"You have to stop, dad" you plead with annoyance, but a small smile betrays you, "no one wants to hear how I'm top of my class again, for the millionth time"

"Well, it's my house" he jokes, "so they better get used to it" he then looks around the room, as if he's forgetting something, "ah, someone I must bore with your stories is missing..."

He talks to some more people around and you have to plaster a smile and salute faces you can't recognize, but as on cue, the door flings open, some people near the entrance greeting a face you've yet to see and recognize. Your father gets there first, the smile that spreads across his face making your stomach tie in knots.

"Joel's here!" he delivers with excitement, unaware of how your polite smile falters.

"Joel's here" you repeat, grief laced within your words. Grief of what? You don't know, but you do know a part of you dies the more you look at Joel Miller the way you're not supposed to.

"Come say hi" your father insists, happy in his ignorance, despite your paced walk and stiff demeanor.

And walking your way is him, the man who owns your heart without knowing.

His hair is still as soft as ever, more tints of grey sprinkled through it. Your fingers itch to trace it, so you keep your fists closed until the red nails dig into the tight white flesh. He has more wrinkles, pronounced when his brows furrow at the sight of you.

"I know she's grown a lot, but I hope you still recognize her" your dad says with affection, "isn't she beautiful, my y/n? Grown into a whole lady"

Your heart hammers against your chest as Joel looks you up and down, but there is no emotion across his face.

"It's only been a year, but sure, she has" as stoic as ever, but it's enough to make your nerves wreck. You can't believe how much a simple stare and a few words can get to you.

But you were always like this: weak. Back then, at kindergarten grounds, when making a friend seemed the hardest task. Now, at university, when you wonder if something is wrong with you that always makes you the last option to choose.

Maybe that's why Joel, a man so strong in appearance and character, never liked you: that all those memories were a dream, and he just did it as an extension of his affection for your dad.

You'll never forget that dinner last year, on these same days, when for the first time, both your parents left you alone with Joel, their guest for the night. There was a storm outside, and it was almost funny how the brash wind against the window mimicked your steady heart. You didn't know he was coming, but when you did, you put on your best dress on purpose and dusted a makeup palette a friend gave you, yet he didn't even look your way.

"Do you hate me, Joel?" you asked in a whispered breathe, the cold silence as answer.

It's contradictory, really: your love grows where his hate does. More like hate, it's a disregard so cruel, you can't help but wonder if there's something wrong with you, making you attached to an older man that only seems to have apathy for you. Because one thing is attraction, but other is the deep adoration where you'd die if he were to ask you.

It's your fault, really, for turning his life into folklore. You still remember sitting on your father's lap as he talked your ear off, full of stories that Joel, always by his side, would quietly laugh, the fireplace casting shadow over a man who seemed to overpower the darkness that now is palpable on his gaze. He'd said your dad was making him greater than he really was, pinching your cheeks as he called you sugar, reasoning you were so sweet.

But since last year, something shifted: he started avoiding you, like he resented you.

And you never understood why. So every season you've searched in his eyes for a sign, anything, that can make you go back to that speacial relationship you had, missing him like a little kid. It's been a year, and you feel, if possible, more at loss than before.

Back to now, it's almost midnight, and most of the guests have gone already. You've tried to look cool in the eyes of those who are still there, conversation flowing easily through your eggnog-tinted tongue, yet you know it's all pretend.

"Excuse me" you can't take it anymore, the air suffocating you in anxiousness.

"Where are you going?" questions your mom, stopping you in your tracks before going up the stairs.

You turn around and feign a smile, "Up to my room"

"Are you okay?" your dad asks with worry.

"Yeah, just tired" you lie with ease, and the miles you've driven back it up.

"If you need anything, just tell" she says.

When you fall against the mattress, all the weight settles in. You close your eyes and count to ten, breathing in and breathing out.

The door creaks, so you get up as you open your eyes. "Dad" you start, knowing he's all about giving you talks, "Not now, please-"

"M' not y'r daddy"

You shiver despite the closed windows.

"Joel!" you jump, straightening yourself, "did dad send you?"

He doesn't respond, looking at you through brown warm eyes that reveal nothing. The pit in your stomach grows along awkward silence.

"It's cold outside, isn't it?" you attempt to make conversation, hating the silence. But you fail: he's still here, and regardless of his indifference, he doesn't leave.

Maybe it's the bit of alcohol from before, but you're standing over until you get close to his resting figure against the doorframe, the darkness of your room leaving his face, now barely lit by the light outside in the hallway. Joel's so close you can hear his breathing, and it surprises you the way it drags like a cigarette.

You feel confident for the first time, defiant even, tired of it all, like if it was his fault you loved him. You're sick of him viewing you like a naive kid who knows no better.

"Joel, why are you here?"

The lavender gets under his nose, his skin on fire. He looks at you again, but this time, the brown in his eyes darkens.

"Joel...?" you ask on a shaky breath.

Before you can register, there's warmth against your cheek. His fingers graze your face with an unspoken yearning on his fingertips, as he gently grabs your chin.

Your breath hitches, hand traveling to feel his on your face, to see if it's real and not a dream.

"Joel, what are you doing?"

He backs up, like your touch burns. And then looks at you, as if you're a stone on his shoe: just like all those boys back at the city, who have rejected you. You feel small, like crying.

"M' sorry" and walks out of your room, his scent up your nose. His limping figure walks down the hallway that now looks longer. You don't realize how long you've stared until you hear your father ask downstairs where was he.

It's like he was never there.

It was spring when he first kissed you.

It's funny how you still came back home after such disastrous holidays.

Joel stayed for the rest of the holidays, including Christmas and New Years, and when he hugged you in the living room full of guests, you had to pretend his fingers hadn't hold you differently before. You both lied your way out, and when you left, for the first time, you felt relieved, which is why it took some convincing from your father to make you return for spring.

"You couldn't miss this" he insists, "it's the best time to visit the cabin"

And you have to agree: a small cabin by the lake that your parents bought when they first moved in to town, a place you spent most of your childhood. Your father taught you how to fish there, and ever since, even as you moved away for college, you came back to do so, a tradition kept intact despite the years.

Your mom looks at you from the rear view mirror. "He wouldn't stop talking about it, afraid you wouldn't join us this year" your dad hushes her, embarrased, "oh! Don't act like you didn't"

Truth is, you'd still come: you miss the green tickling your bare feet, the cold water, and the sun kissing your skin as you lay outside. It's a lie you don't wait all year to leave the cold city and embrace the blooming spring.

"I wouldn't miss it for anything, dad" you lay against the car's door, closing your eyes as you smile. He doesn't say anything, yet with the way your mom giggles, you know he probably got teary or something―your sappy old man.

The car stops, the cabin in front of you. You feel like crying, so many memories flooding you. Alright, you're being sappy just like your dad, but it's been a hard semester and you missed your family.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you something" he says as you get out. The small denim short rides up as you stretch, your legs numb from the trip.

"Yeah?"

A car honks from behind. You jump, loosing balance as you trip. "Ow!" you land on the grass, embarrasingly so.

"C'mere" you look up, the sun blinding his face. "Lemme help ya', sugar"

The nickname feels like a slap to your face, so you stay there stupid, body stiff as you raise up, Joel's face flooding your field of vision.

"That's what I forgot to tell you" your dad laughs, "or who"

You're not laughing. Joel Miller is here and it's ruines your trip.

"Well, you should've" you took his hand just for the show, because you know your mom is observant. If there was an electric rush, you must've imagined it, just as the way his hands fall to his sides, twitching.

Over the next couple of days, you try to ignore him as much as you can, pretending your spring hasn't changed: fishing, laying down, sun and baths.

"Hey"

Your sun glasses rest on your nose as you raise from your spot, laying on a towel on the grass as you sunbathe.

"What'd want, Joel?" your tone is icy, contrasting the warmer climate.

"M' going to the lake" he mumbles, then stays silent. It's almost as if he's waiting for you to answer.

"Okay?" you lay down again, "have fun"

"Y'r dad said you'd teach me" he raises a fishing row.

You groan in annoyance, getting up from your spot, "why doesn't he do it?"

"Said y'r the best" then coughs, "besides, I think him and your momma needed some time alone..."

You walk past, shoulder brushing against his. You've never been this childish before, but your anger fuels your emotions: rage when you see him and remember how the warm of his touch turned cold in seconds.

You arrive at the small dock, sitting on the rather hot wood. You don't flinch, trying to prove nothing. Joel sits next to you and makes a face at the burning sensation.

"What?" you mock, venom dripping from your tone, "can't handle some heat?"

He just scoffs, passing the row to you with a little more force than necessary.

Your petty revenge is splashing his shirt, damping the cotton with the lake's water.

"I'm sorry" you apologize, feigning an innocent tone, "wanted to freshen up"

"Thought ya could handle the heat" Joel grumbles.

Then he curses under his breath, taking the shirt off and tossing it to the side.

You take in now shirtless body, admiring the strong muscles, broad shoulders and sturdy back. He sits next to you, his belly pushing just above the seam of his shorts. You recoil, almost as if heat radiated off his body, your cheeks burning. Your hands tremble as you hold the row, and it takes every strength of you to not succumb to the dangerous view; it's all too tempting.

"Y'r gonna teach me or what?" he breaks your train of thoughts, his voice so low, as if you were a little animal he was trying not to scare off, "just gonna stare? Ain't y'r daddy taught ya some manners?"

A current shoots through your body and looses itself in the middle of your legs.

You divert your gaze, ashamed. "Don't know what you're talking about"

"Liar" but it's so soft, it sounds more like an observation than an accusation.

"Drop it, Joel" you focus on the water but you know your mind is elsewhere.

"Sugar..."

You feel like throwing up. Why after ignoring you is he calling you like he used to? When he was your favorite person in the world and you were his. He used to hold you close, but now acts like your touch is poisoned. Joel confuses you too much; he's got you feeling like screaming at the sky.

"I said drop it, Joel" you seethe, "you may be old, but you're not deaf"

"And you may be young" his fingers remove the glasses from your face, your wary eyes in exhibit, "but y'r too bold"

They stay there, on your face, his rough fingertips touching your soft sun-kissed skin.

You don't know why you do it, but you do.

You get up, your legs on his face. Until then, you don't realize how close you two were.

"I'm not bold, Joel" you whisper, "I'm scared"

And then you jump.

The world reduces to a blur, body as light as a feather. The sensation of falling is familiar and you don't know why.

It's barely a second, like a blink.

The cold water hitting your body brings you back to reality.

You can't see, it's all dark. But you feel free: you may be underwater, but over him.

You feel like you got the upper hand, but then the water starts moving and a huge splash next to you makes you look back.

Joel jumped too.

"What are you doing?!" you shout.

What are you doing to me? What do you want from me? What will you do to me?

"Takin' a splash" he answers, like it's obvious.

"You know what I meant" your tone is rather spiteful.

"And you had'a teach me" he's again in front of you, barely inches away, "so I guess we're both dissapointed we didn't get what we wanted"

There's water dripping from his hair, falling to his face. Water drops adorn his eyelashes, warm eyes deeper than ever, and you feel like drowning even as your body floats.

"And what do you want?" you challenge, the question implying only so much.

His lips clash into yours, hungry like a wolf. Your hands immediately grip his neck for support as his tongue forcefully gets inside of you, water droplets filling your taste buds. You gasp for air, all of your body pressed against his.

"That answer y'r question?" tone defiant, as if he's also a player on this game that's just started.

You just don't know yet how much you've got to loose.

It was summer when he became yours.

You'd never anticipated coming back home as much as now.

The lingering feeling of his scruffy beard against yours, back pressed against the walls of the shed at midnight while he devoured your lips in a hungry kiss has stayed with you since you left the cabin, trapped in the salt air. Now you're coming back for more, butterflies in the low of your belly as you remember his words:

"When y'get back, I'll have ya' a surprise"

You park at your house, searching for the keys under the rug, but they aren't there. You knock to no answer, so you call your dad and mom, only for both of the calls to go directly to voicemail. Yes, you came a day earlier than planned, but your parents are always home the week you arrive, so something must be going on.

Before you worry, a voice behind you says:

"Ain't nobody inside. Y'r folks went out"

It's Joel, looking as good as the last day you saw him. Just to taste him again, you were complaint on every single of his requirements, one being no contact. He claimed he didn't want to distract you back at college, and you didn't ask any more questions, afraid you'd press a wrong button and loose what felt like a dream.

"Really?" you walk out of your porch to where he is, resisting the urge to kiss him in the middle of your neighbourhood's street.

"Hmh" he nods, "said they ain't comin' back soon"

"They told you so?" you question, "why do I feel you had something to do with it?"

"Ain't do shit" he crosses his arms, the t-shirt sleeves making his arm muscles more prominent. He then coughs, "just recommended y'r dad a nice restaurant outside town. Maybe they'll be later than night, traffic is kinda packed at late"

You smile, "Joel?"

He doesn't look at you, "yes?"

You fail to suppress a giggle, "did you just get rid of my parents?"

"No" he answers, stern. "Now" he looks around, all doors closed, "why don't 'cha come inside? Sun is hittin' hard"

He's a terrible liar.

As soon as you enter his house, you can't believe you've never been there before, visits usually in your house.

It's exactly what you expected: a simple and sober decoration that hides a welcoming feeling somewhere. There's something else you notice: the lack of pictures.

"Make yourself comfortable" he says, coughing, looking akward all of a sudden. You want to laugh and coo his now insecure demeanor, shy in your present. If he seemed sure before, he doesn't anymore. "I''ll get ya' some water"

"Joel?" your voice comes out low, equalling a purr. His cock twitches in his pants at the way you call him.

"Yes?" he swallows, adam's apple bobbing.

"I hope you didn't bring me into your house just for a glass" then you sit on the couch, the small short you're wearing riding up your thighs. "Besides, I'm not thirsty"

He doesn't move, almost as if he's lost the ability to react; in a trance.

"What do you want?" voice deep, like he'd give you anything you ask.

"Have you forgot already, old man?" you quip. "You promised me something" even if your voice is steady, your fingers tremble when you start un-buttoning your shirt, "and I'm waiting for it"

If he could drool like a dog, he would. He slowly gets closer to you, until he's towering over your sitting figure.

"Ya' think it's funny tempting me like that, sugar? Playing with an old fuck as me like that?"

You whimper, resolve melting quickly. "N-no" you feel ashamed, hand ready to button yourself again until his hand grabs yours, stopping you from doing so.

"I'm sorry, sugar" he raises your body swiftly, making you stand up. "Actions have consequences, and I'm gonna teach ya' some"

When his lips land on yours, you feel you've reached heaven again. His mouth easily know your roads, traveling to every spot he can to deepen the kiss. He eats you out like he's starved, sweat starting to pool in your foreheads. He grabs you by the waist, pulling your closer if possible, your chest clashing against his pecs. His heart hammers against you, and that's all you hear aside your raggedy breaths and famished clashing. You grab his hair again, feeling the soft texture under your fingers. Joel moans against your lips when you bite his, something a friend told you to do, and it's proven to work.

"Where'd you learn that, huh?" you taste like strawberries, the proof on his now coated shiny lips and your disheveled gloss. His grip turns stronger, "thought ya' were innocent, little vixen"

"I still am" you avoid his gaze, and even if his hold falters, when you look again into his eyes, there's a flame burning in them. "But I want you to have it, Joel"

"Sugar-" starts, condescending.

"Don't" you immediatly cut him off. "I'm an adult, I know what I want"

"I just want ya' to be sure" but his cock is already hard, "don't want ya' to regret it"

"I could never regret you, Joel" you whisper.

He picks up your body, that despite the years, is still as strong as ever. He goes up the stairs, looking at you so lovingly, you feel like anything is possible.

Maybe this is how it feels like.

He softly drops you onto the mattress, that dips under your weight. You place yourself against the bed head, and when Joel gets in, it creaks.

"I'm gonna make ya' feel so good, sugar. I promise" he slurs, "Now be a good girl and open up for me"

Your part your legs, and he's taking down your shorts until your lingerine is exposed. With wandering fingers, he traces your inner thights, delighted at the way you squirm under his touch. He then travels to your pussy, the clothe the only thing separating him from your bare cunt.

"Has anyone eat ya' down here before?" he can smell your arousal, seeing the wet spot in the middle of your panties. He's salivating at the fresh meal. You deny, embarrased, but he seems content at that, "those dumb college boys haven't treated you right? Then lemme show y'how a real man's supposed to eat ya'"

He strips you off your panties, landing somewhere on the floor. You shudder at the sudden breeze on your bare core.

"Already drippin' for me?" he softly laughs, "we ain't even started"

He dives down, the rough of his facial hair sending tickles through your body. He gives a small lick at first, as if testing. When you let out a small moan, he feels invencible. He keeps the ministrations going, more cute sounds escaping your lips. He wants to hear more of them, addicted to the sound, heat pooling when he remembers he's the one causing them.

"Liking it, sugar?" he stops to ask, his voice provoking more vibrations that hit your core in a pleasant way.

"D-don't stop" you plead in the middle of a whine.

He eats you like a madman. Slurping and sloshing sounds bounce off the walls, your hands gripping his greying locks tightly as his face pushes further into your puffy heat, sucking on the sensitive clit. With his filthy mouth, he takes on of the lips on his mouth, robbing a loud groan out of you.

"Your pussy, God" his breath fans against it, "tastes so good, sugar, sweet like you" he licks more, making it get wetter. You didn't know you had that in you, nothing compared to when you tried to touch yourself back at your dorm, too ashamed to try anything else.

He groans against your heat, sending another wave of pleasure through your body.

He then gets up, showing you his thick digits like one shows something new to a baby, "guess what?" you have no idea, and your innocent doe eye'd gaze makes him squirm at the thought of being the first to touch untainted territories (in many ways).

"M' gonna finger you baby, okay? I promise's gonna feel good" Joel assures as he slowly inserts one of his fingers. You arch your back as you felt his fingers in your warm walls. He then puts another, thick fingers in and out of your pussy, your arousal dripping down his wrist. You squirm and whine, thighs shaking at the intensity of the pleasure he was giving you. There's a weird tension happening down there. "J-Joel" you pant, "I feel-"

"Let it go, sugar" he doesn't stop, "I'm here for ya' and y'r sweet cunt"

Liquid soon gushes out. "Fuck" he curses. You shy away and looking everywhere but his eyes.

"Feels good?" you nodded incoherently, "wanna feel even better?"

He gets rid of his pants, the silhoutte hard under his underwear. You gulp, afraid you might not take it.

"Joel..." you call his name, hesitant. Fuck, he's so horny he could care less if he's too big for your first.

"We'll go slow" he leans forward to kiss your forehead, "I know'll take it"

"O-okay" you're still not sure and a bit afraid, but you want him, so you surrender to him.

You feel something heavy go inside your folds. You look down to see his enormous cock sliding in between your tight walls, the skin glistening in your slick,round tip leaking with his precum.

"Tell me" he's soft on you, despite what you're doing, "I'll stop if it hurts"

It does. It burns: how your cunt tries to adapt to his girth, stretching in a painful but delicious feeling.

"N-no" your voice comes out strained, drops of blood falling into the sheets, "keep going"

"Such a greedy thing are ya'?" Joel laughs, truly laughs, the rich sound coming deep from his chest, "what would daddy say?"

"Shut up" you bite, holding onto his shoulders for stability. Please, don't let me fall.

Half way in, he pulls out before diving back in, helping you adjust to his size slowly. Your eyes are trained on the way his cock disappears inside your leaking pussy.

"Should'I keep goin'?" he asks.

"K-keep going" you say softly, and with that, he gently starts inching into you.

"Good girl" he coos.

His cock stretches out your virgin hole perfectly, like it was meant for him. He feels himself melting at the sight of you, something to worry about later. Not now, when your breath hitches as he fills you up. Your cunt fit snug around his length, like you were made for him.

Joel drops his head on your shoulder as he fully entered you, tired, his energy not as much as when he was young. Beads of summer sweat shimmer in your bodies, as not only that but the feeling of your pussy wrapped around his dick make you warm.

Joel takes in a moment to see the mess he's made of you: parted lips, shut eyes, nails digging on his neck. You were deep in pleasure: because of him. His dick twitches at that, and inside of you, it makes you whimper.

"M' gonna start movin', 'kay? Tell me if it's too much"

His weight presses over your body before starting to pull out and push back in. The thrusts start slow, soon picking up a rhytmic pace. Joel grips your hips with his rough big hands, to then start fucking into you.

"Mhm" you whine.

"Mhm, what? Use your words, sugar"

"I-it feels so good, Joel" despite the pain, despite the doubts, the haze is so envolving, he's made of you a moaning mess, drunk in pleasure; the feeling of him inside of you has you seeing stars.

"Y-you feel good too, baby" he pants, your pussy gushing at each thrust. He starts going harder, making you scream.

"Who you belong to, sugar?" his hot breath pours in your ear, "say it"

"You, Joel" you whisper the answer like a sacred oath, "Just you. I'm all yours"

Before you can say anything else, his dick touches a spot within you. Such a sweet spot, that has you moaning and feeling something unlike anything you've experienced before: it washes over you as you clamp down on him. You hear yourself cry, voice barely recognizable. Your vision goes blurry, then mind blank.

Joel groans with your pretty cries of pleasure, watching the way your cunt milks his cock, drooling with your juice.

"Such a nice girl for me, sugar. Did so well" he whispers, and a dark tought crosses his mind. He feels dirty, taking advantage of your age and naivety, your figure still half-gone, "think you want me, all of me?"

You nod, still out of your mind, and before you can process the real meaning of his words, hot stripes of his seed plaster your walls, coating each inch of you. Joel presses his lips into yours to shut your moans, kissing you hard.

"You good?" you can only nod, still in shock, the events dawning over you. "Don't worry, I'll buy ya' a pill before your folks come back"

The sun shines outside; there's still time. You just wonder how much.

It was autumn when he said I love you.

Yellow and orange leaves fall in the roads not taken as you've fallen for Joel.

Ever since summer, you've been waiting for the next time to see him: sleeping with him being the last thought, touching yourself to his voice on your mind, drawing hearts in the bylines of your notes. His figure, first a dream, then a fleeting hope and now a high you need to feel once again, because you can't let go of the way he fucked you, your cries of pleasure, how your walls stretched for him and the way he held you that afternoon and the next nights you escaped your house, crossing the street under the moonlight, hiding as a criminal.

But you'd do anything to feel him, his heart beating against your chest like it was yours to bear. You need to see him, so you're doing the most stupid choice of your life.

There's a pause after you knock, and then Joel opens his door.

"Sugar!" he looks surprised, then angry and finally scared. "The fuck you doin' here? Ain't you supposed to come 'til winter?"

"I couldn't wait" you whine in desperation, clinging onto him like a koala. You'd searched for something, anything, that smelled like him back at the city, but even his flannel shirt you'd stolen had started to loose its smell.

He looks around, "do your-"

"No" you pause, "they don't know I'm here"

He curses under his breath, realizing just how much you're deep in this. He's fucked: fucked because he'll comply even if he knows this has to stop.

"I have the keys" you pick the dirt under your nails, a nervous habit of yours, "for the cabin"

Joel remembers last spring, how he ate you inside the walls of the shed, wishing for more. More came the next summer, and now you're hear again, looking at with with that look he hates: like you'd burn the world just to keep him warm.

"How'd you do that?"

"Took them last summer" you reveal your plan all along, "just in case" yet you had already made your mind before leaving town.

"Damn it, sugar" he's speechless, "you're fucking crazy"

You giggle despite the uneasiness creeping up, "just for you, Joel"

He takes you to the cabin on his car, yours already there. And you'd walked to his house? You have indeed, lost your mind.

"What're we supposed to do?" he thinks out loud.

You groan, "I don't know, Joel. But I didn't drive miles just for you to stand there"

He can't lie and say he hasn't thought about you: your lashes, soft when closed; the way his room still smelled like you even after two weeks of your parting, or how the sun seemed to highlight all your perfect spots. He even thinks of you on his bathroom while he grabs his dick, fucking himself to the memorized song of your moans and uneven breaths as he pulled in and out of you.

"Then get inside" he's demanding, and your panties wet at the tone and the voice you missed so much, "it's cold out'ere"

As soon as you close the door, he's grabbing your face with force, that it almost seems like two people fighting, not two who missed each other.

"Joel" you mumble, breathless.

"Missed ya' so much, sugar" he confesses against your lips. A trail of saliva hangs; silver of hope. "It was killin' me"

"I missed you too, Joel" you deepen the kiss, tears threatening to spill from the corner of your eyes. "Couldn't stop thinking about you"

"Yeah?" he sits on the living room's couch, creaking under the sudden weight. "Tell me what that pretty head of yours was thinkin'"

"You" in a heartbeat, and you see his gaze go from dark to something else, lurking behind; you're scared to find out what it is.

Joel motions you to come over. You take your shoes and pants off, siting on his lap.

"Yeah-?" his voice falters, "tell me what"

"How our names sound together, how pretty you are..." you wander. "I also thought about you, all of you, inside of me"

"Watch that filthy mout of yours, sugar" he chastises but there's no anger behind his reprimand, "one summer bouncing on my cock an' y'r already a needy slut"

You whine at his words, rubbing yourself against his tight.

"D-don't" he undoes his belt and jeans, leaving only his underwear. Your desperate fingers pull them down, revealing his already pulsating cock, "don't tease this ole' man and just do the real thing"

He lets you use him, his hips rocking forwards despite his creaking bones, your swollen clit dragging against his pelvis. He sees your face, how you bite your lip as you test your needs, fucking yourself while you ride him. He lets you because: one, he's old and tired, and two, he wants to see you until he's memorized every small detail of your face. He lets you edge yourself close, crying as you feel it coming, but then he plants his feet onto the wooden floor, his boots making a hollow sound that echoes through the walls, the only other sound aside your cries, and thrusts his length up into you.

You yelp at the sudden sensation of his cock inside of you again.

"Think I'd let ya' have it all?" he mocks, "need to fuck y'r pretty pussy too; gotta have it for myself. Would ya' let me?"

You can't deny him anything.

"Yes, Joel" his hands immediatly grab your hips with a pressure so strong, you fear there'll soon be a bruise there. His cock buries fully within you. The air fills with a strong scent, just your moans and his grunts bouncing off the walls, soon warming up from the cold, the crease of his eyebrow pronounced as he realeases, coating your folds with his cum.

"God, sugar" he sounds a bit embarrased, "look at you, makin' me cum so fast"

But he's too enamoured by the sight of you on top of him, still riding him despite his quick orgasm, so he cups your face gently, the beads of sweat on your forehead falling into his hand. He feels more alive than ever, like his life has just started. Oh, he can picture it: coming home to the smell of your food, kissing the absence of the day off your mouth, to then bend you over the counter. He wants so much more, but he knows it can't be, yet, he's far too gone to even think about turning around.

You lift your hips until his cock slips out of you, using your fingers to bring it back. His cum clings to your folds as you sink back down, hips barely lifting you back up before you keep him buried inside of you. He loves watching you slide down his length, slipping in and out of your puffy cunt as his cock softens. It pushes his cum back into your cunt, sticky over your clit as it drips to your thighs.

You did bring a pill this time, so you don't care of the mess his thick flood of cum that dribbles out of you has made on your pussy and his clothes.

"Fuck" you let out, sex-filled mind speaking up. "Don't ever leave me again"

"I won't" he answers hastily, then regrets it. But you don't know that.

Instead, numbness takes over your body, the events of last hours finally draining your body. Sleep settles in, and you nest your head on Joel's sweaty shoulder.

"Lemme take you to bed" you hear his half-drowned voice, carrying your body to the main bedroom.

Joel Miller was always a mystery to you: a man who seemed impossible to break, his world hiding behind a permanent scowl. It felt like his heart was locked, seemingly unbreakable, but where he was rough, his edges had softened for you.

He places you over the bed softly, dipping next to you. Joel's strong arms embrace you, pulling your tired figure closer. His face hides in your neck and his soft belly pushes against the curve of your back, all while he presses a soft kiss to it.

"I think I love you" he murmurs to no one in particular.

But you hear.

It was winter again, when he broke your heart.

Before the holidays, you'd drop by every other weekend. Cancelling plans, waiting for his call. For his grave voice to say Come over, and you'd speed up the brakes with an urgency only he had taught you.

You'd find yourself in the cabin, loosing track of time that rushed like a bottle of wine. Kissing until your mouth was swollen and the only thing that satisfied your hunger was his lips, fucking until sunrise and his bones ached. He'd then offer a tired smile, and you'd sing a soft tune in front of the fireplace while cuddling.

They say home is where the heart is. And it felt like one.

It was during one of those escapades that you showed up with your newest adquisition: a small cursive J just above your thigh, hiding under the plaid of your skirt.

It was your first fight. He shouted at you like he had never before, scolding you like a father would to a naive kid, the hatred you hadn't seen since he touched you that night a year ago, resurfacing.

"We're loosing ourselves" his voice cracked, sounding defeated. But then he'd suck the skin around it until it turned red.

The back and forth became the only thing keeping you alive, the need for his touch as addictive and destructive as a drug.

Which is why Christmas hadn't felt this jolly since being a kid.

You're back, and as you hug your dad and mom, you scour the place for his face: the one you've grown to yearn and love.

Your dad exchanges a glance with your mother and then looks at you weirdly before answering.

"He isn't coming; I thought you knew"

You don't care about the future explanations or the calls of your name, storming off and crossing the street to his place.

"Joel!" you shout, knocking desperately, "open the door!"

When you don't get an answer, you search for the spare key hiding under a pot in the porch. As you make your way inside, you spot Joel sitting in front of the fireplace, his eyes lost in the fire.

"Joel" you softly call his name. At that, he snaps, standing up. His eyes glow with the flames, circling in doubt.

"Sugar?" like he didn't expect you to actually search him on his absence, "what'd doing here?"

"I could ask you the same" you laugh, sardonically. "Don't know how I'll explain running off like that, so thanks, by the way"

"M' sorry"

The words fall heavy in the air, suddenly thick. Something tells you he isn't apologizing exactly for that.

There's something like guilt and fear simmering in his eyes. You think about all those times in the cabin, spring and autumn, and you're reminded of those three words he's said and you haven't. The realization hits you, and you're quick to reach him, grabbing his hand.

"Joel?" you call again. "I- I need to tell you something"

"So do I" but he sounds reluctant, "you go first"

"I don't know what's happening" your lip quivers, eyes glossy. God, he feels terrible, "but I want you to know that I love you"

He gasps, like you've slapped him across the face.

"No" he starts, pushing you away. He lets go of your hand, and the sudden cold hits you.

"I thought I still had time..." his shoulders slump in defeat, "guess I'm wrong"

"What do you mean?" anger and sadness flood your words.

"You can't love me" the words cut through you, and you're sick.

Sick of your rusting wheels that only move when he tells you to. Because that force, the dominance, Joel Miller seems to carry over the rest of the people, doesn't cut as deep as it cuts through you.

It's almost done with a benevolent authority, like he knows of said power and doesn't want to abuse it.

So now he's ordering you to stop loving him, like this year has meant nothing. Nothing.

"Love, funny word" your words carry rage, "do you even know what that means?" you try to hold back the tears in vain, "you don't, yet you say them so freely, like they mean nothing to you" he makes a surprised face, and you savour the pain reflected on his face, alike of yours. "Yes, I heard you, Joel. Y-you made me the happiest girl on the planet, but now I realize you're so full of shit"

You turn around, trying not to see his face, because you know that the more you look at him, the more seconds you add and the harder it would be to erase the memories you'll have to burn.

"Did you ever love me, Joel?" it pains you to whisper out loud.

"I love you, sugar" his voice is horse, like something had cut through it. "That's why I'm doing this"

"Are you, Joel?" you sigh, "if you loved me, wouldn't you want me to stay?"

"This won't end well" it's his answer, trying to reason, "I don't want to hold you back"

Coward. Asshole. Idiot.

Your tone is icy like the storm outside, "but it's already ended"

He's about to speak but you cut him off.

You can only smile. "I've given you everything and you took it. I really thought you were giving me your everything, but I realize now, that I know what you are. You don't need to hide it" he looks at you like it is you who's hurted him the most, "you're hard to love, Joel. But I tried"

He'll regret it. You know and you want to: you want him to feel the empty days blur with one another, that he remembers late at night what you had and he ended, so when he feels alone, the ghost of your free love haunts him with the happy days and sweet taste of your lips. Just then, he'll understand what your year of loving really meant.

You leave his house empty, a knife twisted in your heart. He's the only one who's got the key, and you know it will be long until anyone else can break it open.

But it's okay: if being with Joel was heaven, you'll happily burn in the flames of what's left.

#dilfistwrites #pedro pascal #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal x you #joel miller #joel miller tlou #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller fic #joel miller smut #joel miller angst #dbf!joel miller #dbf!joel #tlou #tlou fanfiction

754 notes · View notes

okaylikeschaewon · 13 days ago

Text

Return

10k words, TPM Series Part 1, smut, Series Masterlist

There are days where everything just feels right and nothing can really dampen your spirits. When the sun shines just a little bit brighter and the air feels just a little bit cleaner. Today, unfortunately, was probably not one of those days. No, it definitely was not one of those days. That rock in your stomach weighing you down was all the confirmation you needed.

In a world where laughter echoed like music, Twice stood as a beacon of joy, their vibrant energy could light up every room they entered and every stage they took. Those infectious smiles that brought fans from across the globe together, a reflection of the bond Twice themselves maintained amongst each other - the perfect show of leading by example. Each individual member was like a fun little musical note, and the beauty was how they all came together to become a symphony of love, resonating far beyond the stage deep into the hearts of their fans.

Yet, none of that was present this morning. The air in the conference room was thick with an unspoken tension, each heartbeat echoing like a countdown. Sana, Nayeon, and Momo sat together, faces full of axiomatic unease. Sana fiddled with the hem of her shirt, eyes darting to the door every few seconds as if the solution to her worries were waiting to knock. Nayeon, attempting to maintain a facade of calmness, drummed her fingers nervously against the table. And Momo’s eyes darted around the room, unable to settle.

Isolated from the other three, Dahyun sat by the window - her usual bright demeanor dimmed, her thoughts clearly elsewhere. You walked across the room, taking a seat next to her in silence. She turned to you, acknowledging your existence with a nod before turning her attention back to the gentle raindrops spilling down the glass.

“I just don’t understand why they're taking so long,” Momo broke the silence, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

The question lingered, met by more silence as the girls exchanged glances. Their eyes felt fragile and the stakes seemed higher than ever. That bond they had built over the years felt more delicate than ever in this moment.

“Like I said earlier,” you replied softly. “None of them have said no as far as I know, they’re simply negotiating terms.”

“What happens if they don’t sign?” Sana added quietly.

“Hey,” Nayeon shuffled her chair closer to Sana, tilting her head slightly, her voice a soothing melody amidst the tension. “Whether or not they sign doesn’t change anything, but they’ll sign.”

Sana looked up, meeting Nayeon’s warm gaze. “But what if…”

“Let’s not play the ‘what if’ game,” Nayeon interrupted her with a reassuring smile. “It’s not like we haven’t faced challenges before, we’ll get through this one just like always. As Twice.”

“They’ll sign,” Momo added with confidence.

A half-hearted smile was all Sana could muster as Nayeon leaned forward in her chair, wrapping her arms around her. You stood up from your own chair and bent over, planting a gentle kiss on Dahyun’s forehead as she remained fixated on the window. You walked towards the door, pausing only to give Momo a quick and reassuring hug, silently informing her that everything was going to be alright.

“I’m going to get some updates,” you stated as you opened the door. “I’m almost certain everyone is going to sign, I’m just going to see how the negotiations are going.”

Nayeon flashed you an encouraging smile before picking her phone up off the table and distracting herself.

—

“Come in.”

Inside, in far better spirits than the previous room, sat Jihyo smiling up at you.

“Good news?”

“Great news,” Jihyo replied cheerily. “They’re basically giving me everything I wanted, they’ve even agreed to expedite the boring logistic stuff for my solo.”

“That’s great,” you smiled back. “They’re writing up the new contract with your lawyer I assume?”

“Yup, I even made sure to add some amendments to the others’, basically giving anyone who signs some more power.”

“All these years as the official leader has really instilled the values in you hasn’t it?” you chuckled. “Speaking of which, if you’re done with the negotiations, do you mind heading back to the main room and trying to cheer them up a bit? I’ve tried but…”

“I understand,” Jihyo nodded, standing up and walking over with a prominent spring in her step. “I’ve only spoken with Mina and Chae so far, I’m fairly certain those two are signing. Actually, I’m pretty sure everyone is signing from what they’ve told me before.”

“That’s what I’ve been thinking as well, Chaeyoung just wants more freedom and I can’t imagine they’d have an issue with that,” you agreed, holding the door open for Jihyo. “Even though it’s mostly a formality at this stage though, I can’t help but feel a tiny bit nervous.”

“That’s fair, I am too,” Jihyo replied, for the first time showing a hint of unease. "You'll let us know what the others say as soon as you find out?”

“Of course, thank you Jihyo,” you answered before leaving her to make your way to the next room.

As you waited patiently for the elevator, the doors opened and you were met with Chaeyoung stepping out while happily sipping on what you could only assume was an iced Americano. “Done with negotiations?” you questioned the unbothered girl.

“Yup,” Chaeyoung replied casually. “I’m free!”

Your heart sank.

“Not like that, I mean free from signing stuff,” she quickly explained after seeing your expression. “They agreed to give me full freedom.”

“Oh,” you sighed, your pulse quickly dropping back to normal as you took a couple of deep breaths. You paused, the curiosity weighing on you as your brain was working at half speed. “What does full freedom mean exactly?”

“Basically everything! Tattoos, piercings, boys, whatever I want,” she answered happily.

“Boys?”

“Don’t look at me like that,” she smirked before leaning closer to you and whispering into your ear. “Until I find a boyfriend, you’ll still be fucking my tight ass.”

“Jesus,” you laughed, giving her a little playful spank. “Well shit, keep me updated on that, yeah?”

“I guess now that technically it’s allowed, I’ll tell you something, but you can’t tell any other staff,” Chaeyoung continued before taking a drawn-out sip. “I’ve actually been talking to a couple of guys already.”

“Couple of guys? Imagine the headlines,” you teased. “Twice’s Chaeyoung confirms having a roster.”

“Oh stop it,” she hit your shoulder. “None of them are serious - well, except maybe one - we’ve just been messaging casually.”

“Yeah? Anything promising?”

“I think there might be? He’s actually in the industry,” she answered. “He reached out to me, but I’ll tell you more later, I’m still not entirely sure about it.”

“No rush, that’s your business, you already know I’ll be here for you regardless.”

“Thank you,” Chaeyoung smiled warmly. “Do you know where the others are waiting? I know they’ve been losing their minds unnecessarily, I wanna tell them to relax.”

After telling her where they were waiting, you gave her a quick hug goodbye and entered the elevator, continuing your journey to the next room. It wasn’t easy to explain, but you had a feeling this one wouldn’t be as cheery as the previous two, that this might actually be one of the trickier situations where your worry was stemming from. As you approached the door, you gave it a gentle knock just to be given no response.

About a minute passed before you gave another gentle knock. Again, no response, so this time you cautiously opened the door slightly. You peered into the room and saw Jeongyeon having what looked like a passionate argument with a lady who you assumed was her lawyer.

“I thought I made myself clear when I said I’ll come get you when we’re ready to keep discussing terms,” the lawyer hissed once she noticed you.

“It’s fine, he’s my manager,” Jeongyeon explained, making eye contact with you. “I’d actually like to speak to him in private, please.”

“You really shouldn’t be talking to anyone from the company without me being present right now.”

“I’ll be alright, trust me,” Jeongyeon reassured her. “Please.”

The lawyer looked more frustrated than ever, but eventually after seeing Jeongyeon’s persistence, she sighed and stood up. “Five minutes, then I’m coming back and we’re finishing this conversation.”

“Thank you,” Jeongyeon replied as the lawyer left the room, leaving just the two of you alone.

The room felt heavy with unspoken words as you sat down in front of Jeongyeon. She sat on the edge of her chair, her hands nervously folding the corners of the papers in front of her.

“Jeongyeon,” you began softly. “How are you holding up?”

She looked up, her eyes reflecting a mix of uncertainty and frustration with a hint of exhaustion. “I don’t know. I’m just… I’m not sure if renewing is the right choice for me.”

Slowly, you leaned forward in your chair. “Why are you hesitant?” you asked delicately, realizing this would be a very straight-to-the-point type of conversation.

Jeongyeon sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I… sometimes I just feel like there’s this weird weight on my shoulders, you know?” she began. “Like this stupid pressure to just always be perfect, always be happy, I just don’t know if I can keep that up.”

“I get that,” you replied. “As an idol it probably feels like the entire world is expecting you to - like you said - be perfect. But you don’t have to be, you’re allowed to be unsure just like everyone else.”

“But what if I’m holding everyone back?” Jeongyeon’s usual bravado breaking slightly as her voice trembled. “This would be my opportunity to step away, to stop being a burden.”

“You’re not holding anyone back, you’re part of a team. They need you just as much as you need them,” you reassured her. “And that doesn’t mean you have to renew.”

She leaned back in her chair, seemingly frustrated with the universe. “I just wish I could see the future, I’m kinda scared of making a decision that I’ll regret.”

“That’s understandable, but do you find yourself regretting your past choices?”

“Well,” Jeongyeon hesitated. “I mean, sometimes, but usually no.”

“Ah-”

“I just mean that there have been times where I’ve done things to… fit in… things that I probably wouldn’t have otherwise done,” Jeongyeon explained. “I just want to be like the others in that regard.”

“You don’t have to be someone who you don’t want to be, no one will hold it against you.”

“I know you’re right, but I just find myself worrying about it sometimes.”

“All we can do is take one step at a time, no one can know how things will turn out,” you replied, offering her a comforting smile. “Whatever you decide, I promise you they’re going to all support your decision.”

She took some time to think about what you said, seemingly taking it into very serious consideration. Or perhaps she was beginning to doubt herself? It was hard to say what exactly was bothering her the most, but all you could do was be patient - she had to make this decision on her own.

“You’re probably right,” she sighed eventually. “I think I’m going to do it.”

A moment of silence passed.

“Sorry, just to be clear…”

“I’m going to renew,” she answered your unasked question. “But my lawyer is probably going to make sure my new contract doesn’t lock me into anything. We were talking about having the final choice when it comes to schedules.”

“I think the company will be more than happy to comply, that’s not asking for too much.”

“Thank you for this,” Jeongyeon said quietly under her breath. “I feel like sometimes I understand what you’re saying without you even saying it.”

“I’m glad I could help, that’s my job after all,” you smiled, standing up from your chair. “But I’m going to get out of here before that scary lady comes back and yells at me.”

“She’s not that bad,” Jeongyeon chuckled.

—

“Two left,” you whispered under your breath, feeling a bit better about the remaining members

“Come in,” that beautifully delicate voice you knew so well came through the door.

Inside, you found Mina in her lonesome sitting on a couch with her legs crossed, hands in her lap as she stared up at the roof, not even bothered enough to look at you as you entered the room. It wasn’t until you walked over and sat down next to her did she finally lower her gaze and turn to you, a blank expression on her face.

“How’s it going?” you asked once she finally gave you some attention.

“Lonely as fuck,” Mina replied. “Excuse my French.”

“I’m sorry, they-”

“Don’t want us to influence each other, yeah yeah yeah I’ve heard it all already, I don’t need to hear it from you as well.”

“Sorry.”

“Stop…” Mina’s voice trailed off as she let out a frustrated sigh, pausing mid sentence. The silence was palpable, both of you acutely aware of the weight of the moment. Mina took another sigh before finishing her thought. “I’m sorry, it’s just that things are kinda complicated, I shouldn’t be lashing out at you.”

“What exactly do you mean when you say things are complicated right now?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Maybe the fact that I almost quit once already? This is a very real chance for me to leave this life behind.”

“Even if you felt that way before, what matters is how you feel now,” you replied softly. “Do you still feel like you want to step away?”

“No, I don’t.”

“Then it sorta sounds like you know what you want to do,” you continued just as softly. “So, what do you think is bothering you? What’s making it difficult still? I can tell there’s obviously something.”

“There isn’t.”

“Yes there is.”

“No there is not!”

“Mina,” you spoke carefully after taking a pause. “You’ve snapped at me twice in the matter of seconds now. We both know this isn’t like you.”

“I know,” she sighed as if disappointed in herself. “Sorry, really, it’s just a lot…”

“We don’t have to talk about it, I was just checking in,” you added earnestly. “If you would rather discuss with someone else, I can leave.”

“Please don’t,” she muttered quietly before you could stand up. “Just stay and… just stay.”

“Okay.”

The room became unusually quiet, air thick with tension as the only sound was the soft hum of the air conditioning. Each passing second was stretched into an eternity as both of you waited in a feeble attempt to figure out who was supposed to speak first. You honestly were caught off guard with this, you thought Mina would be an easy one.

“So…” you started, but the word hung awkwardly in the air before both of you fell silent again.

Mina shifted her body slightly, a nervous laugh escaping her before she replied. “This is really odd.”

“Yup,” you replied, casually playing with a loose string on the armrest. “But it is kinda your fault.”

“I never said it wasn’t.”

“Good, because it is.”

“You’re not helping.”

“You’re not letting me help.”

The silence returned, heavier this time. You could feel your heart start racing as you desperately wanted to say something meaningful to absolve the situation of tension, but you knew you had to be patient.

Mina finally turned to face you, her eyes tender. “I’ve been thinking about… things,” her voice trailed off again.

“Things?” you echoed, leaning in slightly in an attempt to encourage her to continue.

“Yeah like, you know, things,” she repeated. “I just don’t know how to say it.”

“There really aren’t many things you can’t tell me, if any. You know this,” you replied casually but gently. “What’s making it so difficult this time?”

“Maybe the fact that I fucking love you?”

The room went silent yet again, the world turned still. Your heart stopped beating for a moment before rapidly catching up, making up for the missed beats by working twice as hard.

“Mina…”

“I’m serious,” she leaned in closer, her fingers brushed against your thigh, the tender touch that sent shivers through you. With each slow, deliberate movement, Mina seemed to ease the tension away, calming your heart rate, her presence grounding you in a way you hadn’t anticipated. “I love you,” she whispered as she leaned in even closer, her voice resonating with sincerity.

As she continued to lean in, her breath warm against your skin, she began pressing her lips softly against yours. The kiss was tentative at first, a barely-audible whisper of affection, but it very quickly deepened as you started to feel her pouring her feelings into it. The intensity of her love was more than evident in every brush of her lips, conveying her feelings in a way words could never.

“Mina…” you murmured between kisses, barely taking a breath as your heart threatened to jump out of your chest.

“I love you,” she breathed, her whisper echoing in your ears.

She pulled back just enough to look you in the eyes, her own shining as her emotion became too much to handle. With dewy eyes and unspoken words, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to yours again, this time more fervently - Her timidness disappearing with each consecutive kiss.

“You make me feel safe,” she added as her hand inched upwards from your thigh towards your waistband. “Like I can be myself without any fear, without holding back.”

With that, Mina pressed her lips to yours again with a mix of tenderness and urgency that spoke volumes. Meanwhile, her hand delicately slipped into your pants, her fingers gently began caressing your shaft before they slowly pulled it out.

“Maybe now’s not the best time,” you gasped before Mina pressed her mouth against yours again.

“Let me show you how much I love you,” she mumbled into your mouth, holding her forehead against yours as she gently wrapped her fingers around your cock. Her fingers, hesitating for just a moment, began to slowly stroke your shaft, spreading the little bubble of your precum evenly along your length. Her lips brushed against yours one more time, softer than ever. “I’ve been thinking about how I felt when I thought you were leaving, how much it hurt.”

“You mean the world to me,” your words were met with one last kiss before Mina began sliding off the couch, dropping to her knees in front of you. “Are you sure you want…”

She hushed you with her eyes, almost angrily, as she began stroking you faster. As her movements became more confident, the warmth of her touch seemed to melt away any lingering awkwardness in the room. Each stroke was tender, almost reverent, the connection between you two deepened, and every heartbeat echoed in your ears.

As Mina continued stroking your shaft - eliciting a few quiet breaths from your lips - her expression reflected a blend of tenderness and vulnerability. Her eyes shimmered with affection, a hint of shyness in her gaze as if she was both thrilled and a little nervous about the intimacy of the moment. She looked right into your eyes, seeking reassurance, her cheeks flushed with warmth, wanting nothing more than to make sure you can feel her devotion.

Then, suddenly, a sharp gasp escaped your lips as Mina leaned forward and pressed her lips against your balls. As she planted countless tender kisses, her hands continued moving with purpose - each movement deliberate, infused with her passion for you.

“I fucking love you,” you moaned, closing your eyes as Mina wrapped her mouth around your sack, engulfing it fully. “Fuck… Mina… you’re fucking amazing.”

With a soft pop, she released your balls, her eyes widened as she looked up at you with joy flickering across her features. Then, that beautifully radiant smile of hers came out, illuminating her face as she was overwhelmed by joy.

Without even thinking, you leaned forward and cupped her face in your hands before pressing your lips against hers, shoving your tongue into her mouth to be met with hers, playfully intertwining and wrestling.

At the same time, with renewed energy, Mina’s gentle but firm fingers resumed working on your cock. She began rubbing her palm against your tip, clawing your shaft with her fingers, slowly moving up and down as the two of you kissed. With every stroke, you seemed to melt into the moment more and more, indulging yourself in the pleasures of losing your mind with sensation.

Mina leaned back, ending the kiss - truthfully leaving you somewhat disappointed. However, the disappointment didn’t last long at all, as Mina plunged downwards, wrapping her mouth around your cock before swirling her tongue around your shaft. With her brows slightly furrowed, her movements became completely fluid and confident, moving her lips up and down your cock with ease.

“Oh fuck, Mina…” you cried out as her hand began caressing your balls.

Her expertise really began to show as she worked your cock, applying just the right amount of pressure, washing away any remnants of tension, enveloping your cock in a haze of comfort and warmth. Each motion echoed the affection she felt towards you, it was like she knew exactly how to make you feel best - which she probably did at this point.

It was becoming difficult to concentrate on anything but the blissful feeling radiating from Mina’s throat. Your thoughts began blurring as you started slipping into a state of numbness, that rhythm of your connection with Mina taking over your world. It took all of the willpower you could muster to hold yourself back, to stop yourself from coating the inside of Mina’s mouth white.

Despite how fucking divine Mina felt in this moment, it was a blessing in disguise when she lifted her mouth off your cock, shifting her hand from your balls back to your shaft. She stopped mere moments before you were about to hit your point of no return.

“I need you to fuck me,” she moaned, tightening her grip on your cock, giving it a couple of final strokes before getting off her knees and grabbing your hand, forcing you to stand up as she pulled you towards the meeting table. “Right now.”

“Mina, your lawyer could come back at any second, this is already way too-”

“I don’t care,” she begged, letting go of your hand and turning around. She bent over at the hips, reaching up her skirt before tugging her sheer panties down to her ankles and leaning on the table. She looked back at you with eyes filled to the brim with love before letting out a single word in a soft whisper. “Please.”

She had you. It would take an act of God to stop you at this point with how hard your cock was throbbing just at the idea of fucking Mina right now. It no longer mattered that you were at the offices and anyone could walk in at any moment. You didn’t even care enough to waste time walking across the room to lock the door. As soon as you flipped Mina’s skirt up, seeing her perfect ass presenting itself to you, you knew you made the right decision.

Without wasting another moment, you stepped into her body, rubbing your cock between her ass until you found her entrance. You placed a hand on her lower back, holding her down as you slowly inserted your shaft into her pussy. It was impossible to keep count of how many times you’ve been in this position at this point with your cock inside Mina, but one thing was certain - she’s never been this wet before. Mina’s pussy has never felt better, as if it was perfectly made just for your cock.

As you began to slowly move in and out of Mina’s body, her head dropped down to the table, her arms flexed as her elbows dug into the dark mahogany. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she pushed backwards into your body slightly, enhancing the sensation of your thrusts. Her shoulders began to visibly relax, succumbing to pleasure before your eyes.

Every few moments she would moan out, her breath hitching each time you hit a particularly sensitive spot or when the angle was just right. She would look back at you, eyes half-lidded as she bit her lip, silently begging for you to keep going before facing forward and letting her face drop to the table instinctively.

Her breaths were becoming more shallow and quick, almost perfectly reflecting the pressure building up in your cock. You had to slow down your rhythm, focusing on pushing your entire length into her pussy in slow, drawn out movements, all just to hold yourself back selfishly to keep going just a bit longer.

The end was nearing rapidly as a few beads of sweat began falling from your forehead. Your hands, both gripping Mina’s ass, began trembling, pressing deeper into her softness. Her breathing grew deeper and more relaxed, the energy dissipating as she was dealing with her own overwhelming sensation as you found a rhythm that resonated between the two of you.

And then your mind went completely blank. There was nothing in the world other than the sound of your skin slapping against Mina’s perfect ass. It lasted for an eternity - or realistically just a couple of seconds - before a particularly sharp gasp escaped Mina’s lips, bringing you back to reality as you felt a rush of your warm cum leak out of Mina’s pussy right before your cock began exploding, launching white ropes inside her.

Pulling out was completely out of the question as you found yourself lost in the overwhelming bliss of it all. The electric blend of your cock releasing combined with Mina’s moans created this beautiful moment where you felt your body melting away at Mina’s touch. You felt your cock emptying itself completely in Mina’s pussy as the world began to creep back into reality before you slowly removed your cock, leaving you breathless but also acutely aware of the current situation.

“Shit, quickly before someone walks in,” you gasped, just as breathless as Mina, while reaching across the table to grab some tissues.

Mina lifted herself up off the table, turning around to face you before hopping up on the table with her legs spread, smiling brightly at you. Before you could wipe the mess you left on her legs away, she pulled you into a long, drawn-out kiss.

“Thank you,” she muttered as her lips gently parted from yours.

“Never thank me for this,” you smiled at her as you began wiping her legs clean. “I’m glad I… helped?”

“You did,” Mina giggled softly, taking the tissues from your hand and wiping herself. “I feel a lot better about renewing.”

“We probably should talk about-”

“Not now,” Mina interjected. “I just want to enjoy what we just did, that felt better than usual…”

“I’m fine with that,” you agreed, leaning forward and giving her a quick kiss. “Do you want me to wait with you until your lawyer comes back?”

“Wow, really in a hurry to leave after nutting in me?”

“What, no I-” you stammered before Mina burst out laughing.

“I’m kidding, get out of here before I have to lie to my lawyer about what you were doing in here.”

—

With that done, you’ve confirmed eight of the nine Twice members. There was just one girl left for you to meet with, the one you didn’t initially think you’d have to worry about, and you especially didn’t think you had to worry when just a few minutes ago you received an email saying all nine members have agreed to renew - albeit in varying degrees.

Yet she was nowhere to be found. No one seemed to know either. This was odd to say the least, usually you were the first person to know about anything happening with Twice, but right now you were as lost as you could be. Finally, after talking to an executive, you were informed that Tzuyu was in a private meeting with some of the board.

Was she in trouble? You wanted to just assume something positive, like maybe she petitioned to start working on her solo or something, but it didn’t make sense for her to not at least tell you about it. Maybe she was upset with you about the whole breakup thing and then you getting with Sana so soon after? No, that would be absurd, right? That was all in the past, she was probably just busy. All the negative thoughts were exhausting, you needed a temporary distraction until you could talk to Tzuyu. You flipped open your phone, and to no surprise at all, saw a few direct messages from the members.

Chaeyoung straight up messaged you saying she wanted to fuck - really lacking in subtlety at times - to which you teased her by suggesting she could just hit up someone from her roster. She wasn’t too happy about that one, but she’d get over it. If not, you’d just have to make it up to her by doing something you’d be more than happy to do anyway. Confirmation of her annoyance came when she messaged you saying she was taking Dahyun out to a secret club tonight. That piqued your curiosity, but she stopped replying. You’d have to remember to find out more about this club later.

Sana had also messaged you, asking if you wanted to watch a very specific movie tonight. This would seem harmless to most, but you knew Sana’s game all too well; With how the night goes every time you’ve tried watching this movie together, it was essentially code for something else. You replied telling her that you just had to take care of a couple of work-related things first, promising her that you’d watch the movie with her later tonight.

After sending a quick reply to Nayeon who was asking you to come in with her tomorrow for her solo practice by telling her you’d obviously love nothing more than to accompany her - to which she replied essentially saying she wants you to fuck her tomorrow - you scrolled a bit more down your contacts. The Twice girls were all so horny tonight, you had almost every option at your fingertips, maybe because of the whole contract thing and all the stress. Unfortunately you were still dealing with this insufferable nagging in the back of your head, one that you desperately needed a distraction from.

—

“Thanks for coming.”

“Don’t be stupid, you wouldn’t have asked if you didn’t think I’d come,” Momo replied without even looking up from the menu. “It’s just such a rare offer nowadays, ever since you and Sana started this whole boyfriend girlfriend thing.”

“We’re not boyfriend girlfriend,” you protested.

“We’re not boyfriend girlfriend,” Momo mocked you with a teasing voice. “Yeah, and I hate food.”

“Seems like it with how long you’re taking.”

“Well, have you seen how many different options there are?” Momo whined, pouting at the menu. Even though she wore a beanie nearly covering her eyes, you could see her rapidly scanning across the page trying to decide. “Can we just get like four and share?”

“Order the whole menu if you want, I’m charging it to the company anyway.”

And she did just that.

“That poor waitress,” you chuckled, leaning back into the booth. “I forgot how absurd you can be when it comes to food.”

“See, it is a rare occurrence, you’ve even forgotten the basics,” Momo nudged you softly in the ribs before sliding closer, resting her hand on your thigh. “So, any particular reason you called me?”

“You’re going to make fun of me and probably won’t believe it, but I really just felt like spending some time with you. Feels like life has just been so hectic lately.”

“No,” Momo replied with an unexpected softness. “I believe you, I’ve missed this.”

“Me too,” you sighed before wrapping your arm around Momo’s shoulder. “Do you think there’s enough privacy here?”

“Yes,” Momo whispered as she leaned into you and kissed you, reading your mind.

The urgency behind Momo’s lips was intoxicating - like when you’re doing something you shouldn’t do, but you’re doing it anyway. She pressed harder, nearly knocking you out of the booth, forcing you to push back. Then, just as quickly as it started, she pulled back, leaving you desperate for more.

“You know, I enjoy spending time with you outside of work and sex,” Momo noted casually before reaching for her mochaccino and taking a sip. “I feel like you’ve gotten better at that, by the way.”

“I’ve been practicing.”

Momo gave you another nudge in the ribs, this time significantly harder as if there was actually a bit of annoyance behind the jest. “Idiot,” she muttered, rolling her eyes.

“I just meant like, practicing so that I can be better for you!”

“Stop talking, my cake is coming,” Momo replied coldly as her eyes fixated on the tray of sweets being walked to your table. “Thank you so much,” she gushed in her most adorably cute voice towards the waitress, eyes scanning each plate as it was placed on the table, looking for her first target.

“You’re welcome,” the waitress replied with a smile before walking away.

“What should I try first?” Momo asked, seemingly no longer upset with you.

“Can’t go wrong with chocolate.”

“Coconut!” she reached forward excitedly.

“Or that,” you chuckled, reaching for a slice of what looked like strawberry for yourself.

To your surprise, Momo held up the first bite for you to try. You accepted the piece from her fork, nodding happily as the combination of coconut and chocolate hit your tongue.

“That’s good,” you mumbled, covering your mouth with your hand.

“Oooooh,” she moaned, widening her eyes in delight as she took a bite herself.

Each consecutive bite had you captivated with how her expression changed - she was completely lost in the moment. It was like watching a kid in a candy store, she couldn’t hide her happiness at all. Her eyes sparkled with each bite she took and with each bite she made you take from her fork.

“I don’t think we’re finishing all of these,” Momo began giggling with her cheeks full after taking what felt like her hundredth unique bite of cake. “Why’d you order so many?”

“What do you-”

“Kidding,” she wiped a bit of frosting on your cheek. “You have something on your face.”

“Oh do I?” you shook your head with an uncontrollable smile on your face.

“I got it,” Momo leaned forward and pressed her mouth against your cheek. “There you go!”

The two of you laughed, relishing in the light atmosphere, enjoying each other’s company. It became pretty clear to you at this moment - filled with cake and silliness - how much you enjoyed being around Momo. You’ve honestly missed this more than you even realized. There was a tinge of sadness in the back of your mind though, knowing you didn’t have the time to do this with her more often, especially knowing soon the group would be touring the world again, and you knew their next tour would last significantly longer than this one.

“I hope you haven’t forgotten that deal we made when I first joined the team,” you stated, playing with the chocolate frosting on your plate.

“Which one? We’ve made a few,” Momo giggled as she took another bite. “You mean the one where you’ll always take me out for food if I ask? Or the one where I get on my kn-”

“Yeah, breakfast, lunch, or dinner, I’ll never say no to a one on one meal with you,” you interjected. “Even with this thing I have with Sana, and she understands that.”

“Just because she understands, doesn’t mean I think it’s right.”

“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t it be?”

Momo put down her fork, smiling tenderly at you before speaking. “You mean a lot to me, obviously, but I can’t do that to Sana.”

“I’m so confused.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Momo scoffed, shaking her head. “Every now and then is fine, like we are now, I know Sana’s fine with that since it is technically part of your job, but there are still boundaries I have to respect.”

“Boundaries? You mean between us?”

“Yes.”

“Momo…” you scrunched your forehead in frustration, trying to understand. “I don’t want you to feel like that, not because of this Sana thing. I’m responsible for all of you.”

“And you’re doing a great job.”

“It doesn’t sound like it,” you disagreed. “You shouldn’t feel like you have to hold anything back around me. That’s kinda the whole point, me being intimate and all with you girls.”

“It’s not holding back,” Momo explained. “It’s just that things are obviously a bit more complicated now, especially since you’ve started doing more than just the physical with the members.”

“That shouldn’t change anything, it’s just some fun on the side.”

“Not everyone sees it that way, not that anyone would admit it,” Momo sighed. “The thing is, it’s totally possible that eventually one of us could… you know.”

“I don’t think I do. Could what?”

“Could maybe end up with you, like properly,” Momo explained. “Let’s just be honest with ourselves, you’ve become such an important part of our lives, some of the members have definitely started thinking about it. You mean a lot more than I think you realize, but we also have to balance the fact that none of the members wants to hurt another one. Everyone is trying to be fair in this weird situation, it’s just kinda hard.”

“And you girls mean the world to me as well, but when you say end up with me, do you mean like, exclusive? Live the rest of our lives together?” you asked, finally starting to understand what Momo was getting at. “I haven’t put too much thought into that, I think because it would make my job a lot harder if I did.”

“Well it’s a good thing we had this conversation then, because maybe you should start thinking about it, before you end up hurting someone,” Momo smiled softly. “Not that I think you’d ever do that on purpose of course.”

“Momo can I ask you something super personal?” you asked cautiously, waiting for her nod of approval before continuing. “Have you thought… could you see us… how do I say this…”

Momo smiled warmly, tilting her head slightly. “You can buy me gifts, you can take me out to dinner, you can…” she paused to look around for anyone listening before continuing, “...you can fuck me silly every day, but I can’t think about being something more with you, not while you’re with Sana. Out of respect for my friend.”

“You’re right, sorry, I shouldn’t be asking that anyway,” you began regretting what you said. “And you’re also right in that I should be more respectful of Sana.”

“I don’t think you’re being disrespectful,” Momo responded after thinking for a second. “I just think you do need to start taking this relationship stuff a bit more seriously. Even if we don’t-” Momo froze mid sentence for a moment before proceeding as if nothing happened. “Regardless of who you end up with, if you even end up with one of us, it’s ultimately a decision you have to make. At that point it has nothing to do with your job.”

Your heart skipped a beat at her words as the possibilities began flooding through your mind. Could you really see yourself spending the rest of your life with one of these girls? There was no doubt that you cared for them, and maybe even loved some of them in that way, but would it even be possible? No, forget possible, would it be morally acceptable for someone with your job to even consider this? It almost felt wrong, but if the feelings were mutual…

“Not right now though,” Momo added. “You’re going to have to take some time by yourself. For now, let’s just enjoy the moment.”

“Alright,” you agreed, emptying your mind for now. “So, how’s the weather?”

“Idiot,” Momo chuckled, pushing her plate forward. “I’m so stuffed, this was way too much cake.”

“I’m going to remind you one last time, it was you who ordered it all.”

“Yeah but you suggested getting the whole menu.”

“Alright fair,” you smiled at her. “I’ll give you that one.”

“That’s right,” Momo laughed, taking the little victory. “Now what?”

“Earlier, you mentioned a couple of things that you’d be fine with,” you began with a slight smirk. “Gifts and dinner are fun and all, but what was that third one again?”

“Yeah?” Momo shifted her demeanor and began putting on her most seductive voice. “Is that what you want?”

“Maybe it is.”

“You want to fuck me silly?”

“I think we… would get caught…” you stuttered, blanking as Momo bent forward to give you a clear view down her shirt, taking your advance far more seriously and quickly than you had expected.

“Then maybe something more subtle?” Momo suggested, sliding her hand against the bulge in your pants. “I could quietly jerk you off, or what if I drop down under this table?”

“Well-”

“Is that what you want? You want me to suck your cock? Right here? Right now?” Momo purred into your ears. “Are you going to fuck my mouth for me? Cum down my throat for me?”

“Momo-”

“Is that why you really called me here?” she continued, not letting you speak, pushing harder on your pants. “I’m getting so fucking wet just thinking about how your cock feels in my mouth. I want that warm cum, I want your warm cum in my mouth.”

Your heart began racing, and all of a sudden the thought of getting caught didn’t matter. Your primal instincts kicked in and you felt ready to knock the spread of cakes in front of you onto the floor to make room for Momo, to bend Momo over the table in front of everyone.

“I can see you thinking about it,” Momo whispered, leaning in closer to your ear and giving your neck a small lick. “You want my wet pussy, I can feel it, you’re so fucking hard right now.”

“I do,” you moaned quietly, reaching your arm around her waist and pressing your hand against the side of her tit. “Tell me what you think we should do. Bathroom? Car? Alley? You decide.”

“I think we should pack the rest of these,” she suggested, completely flipping back to her casual tone, letting go of your cock and looking down at the assortment of cakes. “I don’t think there’s any chance we’re finishing them.”

“What?”

“Yeah, the cakes were amazing, I don’t want to waste them,” Momo said casually. “Did you want to take any of them with you? Maybe take the chocolate one for Sana?”

“Are you serious right now?”

“Uh, yeah? Why wouldn’t I be?” Momo feigned innocence. “You don’t think Sana would like that?”

“No of course she would,” you stammered, your voice an octave higher than normal. “But what about… what about…”

“It’s getting kinda late, we should really get going,” Momo giggled. “Thanks for this though, I had a great time!”

“I can’t believe you right now.”

“What did I do?”

“I’m going to get you back for this,” you gasped as reality began setting in, your cock still throbbing in your pants. “I swear.”

“We both know you won’t stay mad at me for long,” Momo teased before leaning over and kissing your cheek.

She was right.

—

“Tzu?” you called, opening the door to her room slowly. “Where have you been?”

“Hey,” she replied quietly.

“Is everything-” you stopped speaking and walked into the room up to Tzuyu who was staring out the window while covering herself up in her blankets. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” she answered unconvincingly before suddenly turning to face you, her eyes full of vulnerability and fear. “I messed up.”

“What’s wrong? How long have you been here? Have you been alone?” you asked, taking a seat on her bed.

“A few hours, Dahyun and Chaeyoung went to some club or something, I don’t know.”

“How did the contract stuff go? I heard you renewed but I couldn’t find you earlier.”

“It was fine.”

“Tzu,” you spoke gently and cautiously. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”

She looked up into your eyes, her pupils filled to the brim with despair. “At first I didn’t. I said no,” she explained.

“Okay,” you replied slowly, thinking about what the next best question would be.

“And then I changed my mind, but it was too late,” she continued, small tears forming in her eyes. “Some of the execs had… other plans for me.”

“Other plans?” your heart began thumping in your chest. “What do you mean by other plans? Did someone… what did they do?”

“There was no other way,” Tzuyu mumbled as a tear spilled down her cheek. “I had to convince the company… I had to do what they wanted.”

“Tzuyu,” you tried your best to remain composed, but inside you were burning up in rage. “Tell me right now, did any of them touch you?”

“No, not exactly…” she answered quietly, wiping her eyes.

“Can you tell me what exactly you did?” you asked, reaching forward and taking her hand in yours. “Take as long as you need, I’m here for you, but I need to know what happened.”

“I took some pictures for them.”

“Pictures?” you could feel your blood boiling, but you had to know exactly what happened. “What kind of pictures?”

“You know what kind,” she began crying. “It was stupid, I wasn’t thinking.”

“Who was there, tell me,” you kept your voice calm. “I’ll go deal with this right now.”

“No don’t, please.”

“What do you mean don’t? I’m not letting this go.”

“It’ll just come back to me,” Tzuyu pleaded, squeezing your hand. “Please, they didn’t force me, I agreed to it.”

“That doesn’t make it okay, they abused the situation and that’s not okay.”

“It’s all done now, they were respectful about it and everything. It’s fine.”

“Tzuyu it’s not fine,” your voice came out louder than intended. “Why would you do this? What the fuck-”

“Because I didn’t think I could keep sharing you like this.”

The room went silent.

“That’s why I said no at first,” she explained. “But then I realized how stupid I was being and changed my mind.”

“But you didn’t have to take those pictures.”

“Well I fucking did,” Tzuyu cried out. “Can you just let it go? I know I fucked up, but it’s done.”

“I…” you stuttered, pain stabbing your chest as you watched Tzuyu cry. “I’m sorry, come here,” you leaned forward and pulled her into your arms, “I’m really sorry, it’s okay,” you rubbed her back softly, holding her as she sobbed softly against your body. “I can still get the pictures deleted though, just give me some time.”

Tzuyu let go of you after a few seconds and looked into your eyes. Hers were bright red, but she wasn’t crying anymore. “And do what? Get yourself fired?” Tzuyu said, her voice soft and quiet. “Just for them to still have the pictures, ready to end my idol career at any point?”

“They’d never release them.”

“I know they wouldn’t,” Tzuyu smiled meekly. “That’s why I’m telling you to just let it go.”

“Even if they released them, we could just ignore them and have a team put out news stating they’re fake,” you suggested. “Not everyone at the company is a sick fuck, you’re not helpless here.”

“Are you really going to make me beg you?”

“Tzu, I can help-”

“How about you help me by getting my mind off it for a bit?” she interjected, tossing her blanket to the side, exposing her bare legs and bright blue panties. “Can you do that for me?”

Conflicted wasn’t even close to explaining how you felt right now. How could she possibly be asking for this right now, and why did you want her more than ever. It was her mascara, messy on her face, that vulnerability that made Tzuyu prettier than she already was, more beautiful than reality. Or maybe it was the thought of those pictures. No, you fucking hated that thought, the feeling that someone-

“How long has it been?” Tzuyu whispered as she spread her legs, derailing your thoughts entirely as she brought her fingers between her legs, toying with herself. “Have you missed this?”

“More than you could ever know,” you moaned, lunging forward and pressing your mouth against hers, succumbing to temptation. Your hands fumbled around her body, pausing at her hips, squeezing her soft skin before your fingers slipped into her panties and began sliding them off, slipping the fabric off her ankle with her help. “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Tzuyu breathed into your mouth, her delicate fingers unbuckling your pants. She wasted absolutely no time, and before you knew it she had her slender fingers wrapped around your shaft, pumping you softly to life. Tzuyu kissed you again, her tongue explored your mouth while she grazed her fingertips against your tip. “Slowly, please,” she added with a whisper.

Your fingers replaced hers as you took hold of your cock, feeling around between her legs until your tip was rubbing against her entrance. She was wet, there was no doubt about that, but you could tell as you tried pressing in that she was tight. Too tight. After thoroughly coating your tip with her wetness, you lined yourself up and gave a hard push with your hips when suddenly Tzuyu let out a harsh cry, her eyes filling up again.

“I’m sorry,” you gasped, immediately pulling out.

“No,” Tzuyu protested, digging her nails into your ribs. “Give it to me, please.”

There was no way. You’ve fucked Tzuyu plenty of times, but she had never been this tight before, it was impossible. But you had to do something, you couldn’t stop. Your cock would probably explode if you didn’t fuck her right now - you could partially blame Momo for that.

“I will, but first I want to taste you,” you whispered softly before kissing her again. “Is that fine?”

Tzuyu nodded slowly, and with that you slid down her body until your face tucked between her legs. You pressed forward, getting as close as physically possible, and gave Tzuyu’s pussy a lick from bottom to top before clamping your lips against her clit. She exhaled sharply and her fingers latched onto your hair as you sucked on her folds, immersing yourself in the salty tang of her pussy.

Her pussy began leaking onto your chin as you opened your mouth wider, pressing your tongue flat against her entrance, applying pressure in various spots, testing her body, using Tzuyu’s grip on your hair for feedback alongside her soft moans. With your tongue pressing against her pussy, entering her body just slightly, you could feel her body relaxing in your mouth - it was working.

Even though Tzuyu’s pussy tasted amazing to you, intoxicating even, it was clear that your soft strokes were not enough to keep your cock controlled. You needed her body, the pressure was becoming too much for you to handle. You gave her pussy one last kiss before leaning back, a trail of saliva and Tzuyu’s wetness connecting your bodies until you severed the strand.

With both hands at the same time, you spread her legs wide, as wide as they could go. Before your throbbing cock, Tzuyu’s pussy was absolutely glistening, calling out to you as you gripped yourself once more and lined up with her body. In your periphery you could see her beautiful face, biting her lower lip, staring at you, but your eyes were fixated on the sparkle of her folds.

Slowly, with tremendous care, you inched your cock into Tzuyu’s tight little pussy. Your eyes were completely fixated on watching yourself disappear within her body, pushing forward, deeper as her pussy spread itself for your length, Tzuyu’s warmth engulfing your shaft, opening up nicely. She was still tight, but it was more like a snug blanket now, pressing down on your cock beautifully.

“Oh fuck,” Tzuyu moaned, shutting her eyes tight. “Fuck, yes, fuck me.”

Her pussy was overwhelming - so beautiful and pristine. With your cock buried inside her, you fell forward, lunging into Tzuyu’s neck and sucking on her soft skin as you began moving your hips back and forth slowly. It felt so good, it felt fucking amazing, but it wasn’t going to last. Embarrassment, masked only briefly by intense pleasure shooting through your body, began flowing as you couldn’t even last a minute inside Tzuyu’s pussy.

“Fuck!” you cried out as your cock began convulsing inside her body. “Shit!”

It was overwhelming as you clenched your jaw, trying to compose yourself as you emptied your cum into her, waiting for your cock to stop throbbing. Once you finally stopped pulsing, you pressed your lips against Tzuyu’s neck again, desperately kissing every part of her as your half-stiffened cock immediately came back to life as blood rushed back into it. You fumbled around the bed with your hands until you found Tzuyu’s fingers and interlocked yours with hers.

With a quick squeeze of her fingers, you began aggressively thrusting your cock as deep as you could into her cum-filled pussy. She was warm, loosening up nicely for your thickness now, but she still felt as amazing as ever. Your mouth remained glued to her neck as your hips relentlessly fucked her pussy.

Tzuyu’s moans were barely audible over the sharp ringing in your ears as your body began struggling to deal with all the sensation. Your cock was getting completely overwhelmed, but you couldn’t stop. There was no way you could stop, Tzuyu’s pussy was too perfect and you were too insatiable. Her moans, warped into screams, mixed with the sound of her skin slapping against yours.

She began squeezing your fingers hard, painfully hard, but you kept going. You fucked Tzuyu as if your life depended on it as you felt her body pressing up against yours. Her chest shot up, those soft tits pressing against your body through the thin fabric of her shirt, her pussy squeezing harder than ever now against your cock.

Her climax didn’t slow you down at all, even as her pussy clamped down on your cock, you fought through it, making sure to keep up the same pace as your body pushed past physical limits. Your cock almost felt numb, a high that in this moment you believed only Tzuyu’s pussy could give you. Tzuyu kept on cumming - you could feel it. Her body squeezed tightly against your cock as you felt your second orgasm nearing. It really didn’t last much longer the second time, mostly thanks to Tzuyu’s pussy’s rhythmic squeezing, before you felt yourself ready to explode again.

This time, you let go of her fingers and pulled back, pulling your cock out of her. Immediately, a huge rush of your cum spilled out of her pussy as you reached for your shaft with one hand, slipping against the wetness, struggling to get a grip as you stroked yourself, aiming at Tzuyu’s perfect body.

But this time, you were able to look deep into Tzuyu’s eyes. The two of you locked gazes as you gave your cock a final couple of strokes. Tzuyu, without hesitation, reached up with one hand and began fondling your cock right before the first spurt of cum shot out, landing directly on her pussy. Without breaking eye contact, Tzuyu brought her other hand to her pussy and began rubbing circles against herself, spreading your cum across her body as your next few shots landed on the back of her hand.

With one final grunt, you fell forward onto her body, snuggling into her tightly as you gasped desperately for air. Tzuyu began moving her hips slowly, rubbing her pussy against your overly-sensitive cock, massaging it gently with the absurd amount of cum on her. It felt nice and soothing to say the least.

“Thank you,” she moaned softly as her other hand wrapped around your body, rubbing your back.

“Don’t… thank… me…” you gasped, turning your head slightly and kissing Tzuyu’s cheek. “Thank you.”

After a few minutes of silence and warmth as your bodies recovered together, Tzuyu spoke first.

“Sometimes I wish we kept going.”

Before answering, you rolled over off her body so that you were laying on your side next to her. “It was amazing being with you, even if just for such a short time,” you replied softly.

“But we both knew it couldn’t last,” Tzuyu whispered, turning over to her side and facing you, resting the side of her face on her arm. “And that’s okay.”

“Why do you say that?” you asked while reaching forward to push her hair out of her face and behind her ear.

“Because we both know I’m not the one you’re supposed to end up with,” she answered, a tear spilling down the side of her face.

“Tzu,” you paused to wipe her cheek. “You are one of the most amazing and beautiful girls in the entire world, you’re going to find someone who is perfect for you one day.”

“I really hope so.”

“It’s not a matter of hope, just time,” you continued. “You’re young and successful with your whole life ahead of you still, there’s absolutely no rush to jump into something.”

“I know,” she mumbled quietly. “It just felt really nice being with you, even if we were just pretending.”

“And you deserve to be with someone properly, not pretending.”

“But that someone won’t be you.”

Her words lingered in the air between you. It felt like for the second time now Tzuyu was breaking up with you, but in a weird way it didn’t hurt this time - not as much at least. It didn’t feel like either of you was making a mistake, you weren’t leaving something behind; Instead, it felt optimistic, like you were moving forward, separately but still together in a sense.

“I’ll still always love you, even if not in that way,” you said softly, wiping another tear from her face. “I still think the world of you.”

“Thank you,” Tzuyu whispered with a smile. “Spend the night?”

“Absolutely.”

---

A/N:

Really feels like a lifetime ago since my last update to this series. Part one of the final nine chapters before I end it and never write the manager trope again! It has been a lot of fun, I really really really hope that the ending is satisfying, especially for any of my readers who are still around from the beginning when I just started. This fic was my first one, my baby, and here we are years later with the end in view!

I'm going to try uploading a few fics in the upcoming weeks during the holidays, so keep your eyes peeled for that if you want. Not necessarily this series, but I want to try posting a few updates for my other ones as well, and maybe even a few one-shots!

#kpop smut #smut #kpop fanfic #male reader #twice #twice smut #mina #tzuyu

1K notes · View notes