#⌜now i know i’m not alone⌟ gen + buck

[walkeddeath]

╰┈➤ a long overdue edit for @walkedfire

[veilcore]

I had been lost to you, sunlight • web weave ft. @walkedfire  

(only walkedfire my reblog)

[veilcore]

@walkedfire

Don’t say that. Comparing our suffering only compounds it. It pained me to hear of your misfortune. I’m glad that you are free.

THE SANDMAN — 1.11 “Calliope”

[romanestuffsposts]

I’m not sure if you write about birth control or anything of the sorts but I just got my IUD replaced. I was hoping you could, if it’s okay, 🥺🥺 write one of she gets it’s replaced and her daddy’s take care of her. Some stucky love is needed right now 🥺❤️ thank you so much for considering babe

Hi there love! 💜

I hope your feel better princess! I know it can hurts really bad but I know you were able to make it through!

I did some researches for this request because I never placed a IUD because i'm too scared to have one so I didn't know how thoses things are placed and replaced.

I hope what I found is alright with how you lived your experience sweetie! ❤️

I'm sorry you had to wait babe. I hope you're happy about how i write your request

Enjoy <3

****

Warnings : angst little reader, cries, comfort, cuddles, kisses, pet names, hospital,

Pairings : Daddies!Stucky ; Daddy!Bucky x Papa!Steve x Little!Reader

Summary : don’t be scared baby, daddies are here to hold your hands ❤️

****

"m'scared" you whined, holding your Papa's shirt tightly in your little fists. It's been one hour now that you're waiting and you have one Daddy who is trying to stay calm so you don't freak out and the other who starts to get angry from the waiting.

The doctor is fourty minutes late and that's exactly what your Daddies were scared of. You were scared enough, there was no need to add stress from the waiting. They know you get more scared if you have to wait because the doctor could come at any moment now.

He swings you from side to side as you curl yourself on your Papa's laps. Steve had spend fifteen minutes now trying to calm your Daddy and to try to make him sitting down "I know sweetie, I know" he whispers in your ear "it'll hurt for a few days but you'll be perfectly okay. We're here. Daddies will protect you and comfort you from the pain" he reassures you, his fingers sliding down your hair.

You nod your head in his chest but that doesn't mean you're fully okay with what will happen.

"What the fuck take her so long ? She was supposed to take us in fourty minutes ago! We should be on our way home right now if she wasn't so late!" He shouts in the waiting room. Fortunately for your Daddy, you're alone.

"Buck, please" Steve sighs, grabbing his husband's arm as he passes by "you're stressing her more" he peers down at you before looking back up at him "sit down, please" he pleads

He watches Bucky's chest raising up and down, his eyes shift to you for a few seconds and when Bucky understands that you're crying, he sighs and falls on his seat "i'm sorry, babygirl" he apologises, kissing your temple "I didn't meant to upset you more"

You sniff and shift a little so the side of your face is now against your Papa's chest instead of your forehead. Your Daddy gently brings his hand to your cheek and wipes away the tears he found "it's okay, baby. You'll be fine, it'll happen faster than you think" he says and kisses your little hand he just grabbed.

You squeeze his hand and before you can ask him for a hug, you hear the door opening. Your eyes go wide and your Daddy's eyes burn into yours, he reassures you with his eyes but the only thing you want to do is taking his eyes and yanking them at the doctor so she'll let you go.

"Is Mrs-Oh, Mr Rogers, Mr Barnes" she greets "I didn't thought you would come with her" she says, surprise filled her voice.

Your Papa stands up with you still in his arms and you immediately reach to grab your Daddy's hand again. You whimper a little when he doesn't get the hint, making him look back at you. He apologises and takes your hand in his, squeezing it and kissing it in hope to make you feel better.

"She's a little scared so we're coming with her" Steve simply says as he walks inside the room followed by your Daddy. The doctor seems surprise by his cold answer but doesn't say anything, she closes the door and walks behind her desk

"I'm surprised you're scared, honey. It's not the first time we do that" she gently says. Her sweet tones make you looking at her. She is your gynecologist since you need one so she pratically knows everything about you. You kind of used her as a psy when you were a teenager but she didn't mind. It's a part of her job, listening to her patients and helping them.

"You can hold their hands while I replace your IUD if you want" she smiles and you nod. "I'll first check if there's no pregnancy and then i'll check if there's any genital infection and when we're good, i'll explain how it'll go and what i'll do. You can go lie on the table whenever you're ready" she says and stands up to go prepare everything

You look at your Daddies, fear in your eyes. Your Papa is quick to wrap his huge hands on your cheeks "we're here, sweetie. You'll feel our hands in yours the whole time. You're allowed to squeeze our hands as much as you want"

You nod and close your eyes, you feel your Daddy's lips against your temple "whenever you're ready, babygirl"

You open your eyes and look at him, you give him your hand and he smiles, taking it. Your Papa rests you back on your feet and takes your other hand. They lead you toward the table and help you geeting on it.

You watch the doctor coming back toward you and you squeeze their hand. She puts her gloves on her hands and then goes to your feet "i'll remove your shoes so you'll be comfier and then i'll rest your feet on those funny things, alright ?" she asks pointing at two weird things on the food of the bed. You nod and she undo your shoes.

You rest your back against the table once she placed you and waits. You already pulled down your pants and panties so it's something else she doesn't have to do.

"I'll check for any infections. You'll feel something stroking your lips but nothing else, alright ?" you nod your head and look up at the ceiling. You feel your Daddies's thumbs stroking your hands as they see the doctor coming closer to your private area.

You gasp and flinch a little when she slides the rod against you. It doesn't last long, she's quick to pull away and she disappears.

You sigh and close your eyes, you feel your Daddies squeezing your hands "you did so good, princess" your Papa praises kissing you temple "One thing done, baby. There'snot much left" your Daddy says kissing your forehead

You hear her footsteps coming back and she wore a sweet smile on her lips "everything is clear" she says and sits back on the seat who's facine your south parts. "To remove it, I will place a speculum between your lips which will give me the possibility of reaching the net which is connected to your IUD" she says and your eyes widen

"it'll be uncomfortable and if you want to take a break, you tell me but you won't be in pain. The only thing who can hurt is the first steps. You may feel a pain similar to period cramps but nothing more"

You sigh and nod.

"I'll place de speculum now. It might be cold" she warns and reaches for something behind her before disappearing down there. You flinch when she rests her hand on your thigh, you close your eyes and bite your lips when you feel her entering her weird thing.

All the while, your Daddies whisper sweet nothings and praises in your ears, they caress your arms and hair and kiss you.

You release a breath when her stuff is finally in betwen your lips. "you're doing so good, beautiful. Keep going, we're here"

"I see the thread, it's a good thing honey. I'll grab it and start to pull on it so you'll feel some kind of pressure" she tells you and grabs the thread, just like she said. You whimper and hold tightly your Daddies's hands when the pressure hit you.

Soon after, your IUD is out of your body and you take deep breath. "you're doing really good, sweetheart" your Papa whispers "you did most of it, there's just one more step to do and we could go back home" your Papa smiles down at you, his fingers sliding down your hair.

"do you want to eat pizza tonight ?" your Daddy asks "you definitly deserve a reward after what you've done today" Your Papa agreed with your Daddy and you nod. Your mouth already waters at the thought of pizza in front of you.

Your Daddy sees you licking your lips and he chuckles "i'll call when we're on the car then" he says stroking his thumb on your forehead.

"I'll replaced your ICD now, are you ready ?" The doctor ask. You almsot forget she was there for a second.

You nod your head, mumbling a little 'yes' under your breath and close your eyes again. Your Papa sings you a song in your ear while your Daddy keeps squeezing and stroking your hands and arms.

You're surprise when she tells you that it's finish. You hear her standing up and you frown. You slowly open your eyes and see two happy face looking down at you "take your time to stand up, honey. I advise you to sit before standing up and if you're feeling dizzy, lie back down" she says and leaves the room to give you the space you need to pull on your clothes back.

Your Daddies helps you sitting down and you turn around body to the side so your legs hang in the aire. "you did such a good job, beautiful" your Daddy's smile reaches his ears and even more "we're so proud of you" he kisses your nose and grabs your pants. He slides your pants on your legs and stops where the table prevent him from going further up.

Your Papa gives him your shoes and he quickly pulls them on you "are you ready to stand up, sweetness ?" your Papa asks, his hand running up and down your back. You nod your hand and take his hand to help you going down. Once you're on your feet, your Daddy pulls your pants up and buttons it.

And then, before you know it, you're back in your Papa's arms. He walks you toward the desk, where the doctor is waiting "call me if she feels anything or if you have questions. Did you already booked your next appointment ?" she asks going through her files.

Steve nods "we did, yes. Thank you for her." he nods and peers down at you. Your head is against his shoulder and your thumb is in your mouth "have a good day" he says before walking out.

Steve always do the talking, he knows Bucky isn't good at it so he usually does it.

Bucky closes the door behind him and runs to hold your little hand when he sees it in the aire, asking for him.

~

You whimper as you turn around. You know that the contractions and the feeling of discomfort in the lower abdomen is normal but you still hate it. You didn't have any minor bleeding which is reassuring. You know it's not dangerous but it still scares you.

"here, baby" your Daddy says as he approaches you with a warm towel. He rests it on your lower belly and pecks your lips "it'll make you feel better" he whispers

You nod and quietly thank him as he sits down beside you. You snuggle closer to your Papa when he slides his fingers down your scalp "what do you need, princess ?"

"cuddles" you whine and feel them wrapping you in a tight and huge hug "anything for our little girl

[glorious-spoon]

Kitchen Table Talks [9-1-1 | Gen | 1/1]

Title: Kitchen Table Talks Pairing: None; mentioned pre-relationship Buck/Eddie Characters: Eddie Diaz, Christopher Diaz, Tia Pepa Wordcount: ~1500

I re-watched 6x14 last night, so have a little post-ep that wouldn't leave me alone.

-

The lights are still on in Christopher’s room when he gets home. He pulls off his shoes, drops his keys in the bowl by the door, and pads into the kitchen, where Pepa is at the sink, sleeves rolled up, cardigan draped over the back of a chair, scrubbing at a pan. La Raza is playing on the little speaker on the counter, the same station that always played at her house when he was a kid. He remembers walking in on her and his tío dancing in the kitchen to it more than once. There’s a wistfulness to that thought now, for a lot of reasons.

“Tía Pepa,” he says, shrugging his jacket off. “Come on, you don’t have to do my dishes.”

“These are my dishes, I cooked,” she says, without turning. The admonishing fondness in her voice makes him smile as he drapes his jacket over her cardigan on the back of the chair. “Go say goodnight to your son, he’s waiting up.”

“Yeah, I see that,” Eddie says, and heads down the hall before she can swat at him with the dish towel like he’s ten years old again.

Christopher is propped up against a stack of pillows in a pool of light from his lamp, his nose buried in the Stephen Hawking book that he got out of the library after his latest scientific enthusiasm strained the limits of Buck’s Wikipedia-diving skills. He sets it down when Eddie raps on the door frame.

“Hey, Dad. How was your date?”

“It was, you know.” Eddie wobbles a hand ambivalently, because he knows it’ll make Chris laugh and because he can’t exactly do that with Pepa. She really will swat him with a dish towel, date clothes and all. “It was okay.”

Chris does laugh, bonking his head back against the pillow with that sunny, beautiful grin that he inherited from his mother. “No second date?”

“No, I don’t think so.” 

“Okay.”

He’s still trying to get a read on how Chris feels about all that. The dating. Eddie dating. The possibility, someday, of Eddie getting serious about someone, which seems unlikely right now, but—it could happen. Someday. He never thought he’d miss the broken salad bowls and the stolen phones and the secret Uber rides, but Chris hasn’t been giving anything away, and that’s almost worse. 

Or maybe he’s just using his son as an excuse again. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“Okay. So maybe it’s time you put the book away, huh?”

“I’m not finished reading it,” Chris says, flapping the pages at him.

“You’re not gonna finish it tonight. Come on, it’s after ten.”

“Barely.”

“Yeah, and you have school in the morning, mijo, get to sleep.”

Chris heaves a sigh like he’s the most beleaguered kid in the world, but he takes the bookmark off his night stand and tucks it between the pages. Eddie slips into the room to turn off the light and press a kiss to the tousled crown of his head, and he doesn’t protest that as an affront against his preteen dignity either, so that’s something. 

“Good night, Christopher.”

“Good night, Dad,” Chris says on another deep sigh, and flops over onto his side. Thus dismissed, Eddie stifles his laughter and retreats out into the warm light of the hallway.

The pan is in the drain and Pepa is at the table with half a glass of wine when he comes back into the kitchen. She raises her eyebrows at him, and Eddie fights not to hunch his shoulders like a kid sneaking in late. Or, in this case, early.

“You didn’t stay very late,” she observes.

“We had dinner,” Eddie protests, because he’s trying, okay. He put on a suit and he went out for dinner and drinks with the daughter of another one of Pepa’s friends—Isabella, 31, veterinary tech with freckles and a fondness for hiking and live theater—and he really did try to see if there was something there other than a nice meal and some pleasant conversation with a stranger he’s never going to see again.

There wasn’t. There never is.

“So what was wrong with this one?”

“Nothing,” Eddie says honestly, in the least exasperated tone he can manage. His tía loves him. She wants him to be happy. She’s making a lot of effort to set him up on dates he doesn’t really want to be on with people he doesn’t really want to be dating, because she wants him to be happy. It’s his own fault that he keeps agreeing to them when he knows they’re not going anywhere. “Nothing, Pepa, she was a really nice woman. They’ve all been really—nice women.”

He doesn’t really mean the last word to come out with an emphasis, but it does. He can hear it the moment it leaves his mouth, and he can see it land. Pepa narrows her eyes thoughtfully. An echo of that old fear rises up to choke him, but he swallows it down.

His tía loves him. She wants him to be happy.

She’s quiet for a long moment, looking at him. Then, in a cautious tone that is very unlike her, she says, “My friend Yolanda—I don’t know if I ever mentioned her—she has a nephew about your age. Very handsome. He works at one of those boat companies, you know, that do the whale watching tours—”

A helpless, breathless burst of laughter escapes Eddie. He collapses into a chair, braces his elbows on the table, and buries his face in his palms. After a moment, Pepa reaches over to pat his arm.

“Should I not have said that?” 

“No, it’s—you’re not. You know. Wrong.” He lifts his head, finally, just enough to rub both his hands over his face. 

“Is that why the dates haven’t been working out?”

“No. I mean, not exactly.” He lifts his head to meet her warm gaze. She pats his arm again, then slides her wine glass over.

“Here. I think you need this more than me.”

Eddie takes a deep breath, nods, and takes it. “Thanks.”

“So should I—”

“I don’t think it’ll be any different with your friend Yolanda’s nephew,” he blurts, because if he’s going to own up to it he might as well own up to all of it.

“His name is Matias.”

“Okay. With Matias. I don’t think it’ll be any different.”

“Edmundo.” She sounds exasperated now, which is easier to deal with than that careful tone. Eddie takes a swallow of wine and avoids her eyes. “How are you going to know if you don’t try?”

“I know, I know, I just…” he sighs. “There’s somebody.”

“Somebody, like, a boy somebody?”

“Really, Tía Pepa, a boy, you make me sound like I’m Christopher’s age, come on.” He’s laughing though now, full of relief that feels almost giddy. Later, maybe, he’ll stress about this again. Probably he will. But for now, despite Pepa’s loving meddling—or because of it—he’s glad he finally told her. Or at least cracked the closet door enough for her to figure it out on her own.

“Well, you’re acting like you’re Christopher’s age.” She leans back in her seat, folding her arms and arching an eyebrow at him. “So? Tell me about him.”

“He’s not—we’re not together.”

“Obviously, or you wouldn’t be letting me set you up with every woman your age in Los Angeles. Tell me anyway. I want to know who captured my nephew’s heart. Make sure he’s good enough for you.”

For a reckless instant, Eddie thinks about actually telling her. She knows Buck, and she’s kindly inclined toward him after all of Christopher’s glowing stories about zoo trips and school bake sales, plus that time when Buck came with Eddie to help out with a (non-fabricated) plumbing issue in the basement. She’d fuss some more about it—can’t you find a nice Mexican boy, Edmundo?—but not seriously. It might be nice to say it out loud for a change.

Still. There’s some absurd little part of himself tucked away behind his ribs that thinks maybe, just maybe, he’ll eventually work up the courage to tell Buck the truth about how he feels, and that if he ever does, Buck should be the first person he says it to. It’s a toss-up whether or not he’ll ever actually manage it, but Pepa knows now that he likes men and the world hasn’t ended, so anything’s possible.

“Not yet,” he says finally. 

“Not yet?”

“I’m not ready yet.”

“Excuses. I told you. You’re never going to be ready.”

“I don’t know. I think—maybe. Maybe I will. Sometime soon. But not yet.”

Pepa purses her lips at that. For a moment, he thinks she’s going to argue some more, but finally she sighs, kisses her fingertips and presses them to his cheek, then cups it in her warm palm.

“Okay,” she says finally. “I won’t set you up on any more dates. For now.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. This boy, whoever he is—you should tell him. Or you should let him go.” She shakes him a little—gently, fondly, then releases him. “You can’t live your entire life for a dream, Eddie. You deserve something real.”

Trust his tía to never pull her punches. Eddie laughs, rueful, and lifts the wine glass to his lips again. 

“I’ll think about it,” he says, and almost lets himself mean it.

[babygirl-diaz]

Give You My Wild. Give You a Child (Buddie omegaverse fanfic)

((This is based on this prompt I got in my ask: Gen Eddie’s pregnant/hormonal and Buck is somewhat exasperated but wanting nothing more to take care of him. It contains mpreg so you've been warned))

***

Buck was still getting used to it. The mood swings, the midnight cravings, the mood swings. This was their first baby, and Buck didn’t know how to deal with the hormonal changes that came with Eddie’s pregnancy. He’s found Eddie having pickles dipped in Nutella at one in the morning, and he’s even found Eddie sobbing uncontrollably on the living room floor while cuddling their 14-year-old son. But tonight it was different. Tonight, he wasn’t crying or indulging in weird cravings, no, he was just sitting outside on the porch looking out into the dark. 

Buck may have had a bit of a panic when he searched the house and couldn’t find Eddie anywhere. 

“Eddie?” a sleep-ridden Buck called out as he slowly approached his omega. 

Eddie didn’t reply. He didn’t even acknowledge Buck. 

Buck came to a stop next to the stairs and sat down beside him. “Eddie, what are you doing? It’s two in the morning. It’s not actually safe to be sitting out here.” 

Eddie still said nothing. 

“Eddie?” Buck called again. 

“Why are you with me, Buck?” Eddie asked suddenly, surprising Buck not only with his question but with his voice. It sounded so broken. 

“What do you mean, why am I with you?” Buck asked. 

“I mean, you could be with any young, hot omega you wanted, but you’re with me,” Eddie replied, finally looking at Buck. “I’m a 32-year-old omega with a high-risk pregnancy and a chance of never becoming a parent again.” 

Even in the dark, Buck could see Eddie’s glassy eyes. He knew he was so close to tears, but was holding himself back. 

“Eddie,” Buck started to say. He wanted to reach out and hug his omega, but he seemed so far away that Buck knew it would be like hugging a brick wall if he hugged him right now. “I don’t care about that. I just care about having you in my life. Because I love you.” 

“But why though?” Eddie’s voice was desperate, like he just needed Buck to give him an answer as to why he was worth loving. 

Buck scooted closer to his husband and put a hand on his shoulder. “Because, Edmundo, you have so much love to give everyone around you. Because you don’t let up until you know that the other person knows they are deserving of your love. So let me do that for you today.” 

“I’m okay,” Eddie whispered, looking down at his pregnant belly. 

“I know you are,” Buck was quick to assure him. “But let me take care of you, anyway?” 

“I don’t need you to take care of me! I need you to leave me alone!” Eddie’s sudden outburst took Buck aback. 

“Eddie-” 

“No, just go, Evan.” That was never good. Eddie using his first name. 

“Eddie, just hear me out,” Buck desperately tried saying to him.

But then Eddie got up and started walking. Buck looked at the door and at Eddie. Chris was asleep in the house, so he couldn’t leave him, but he also couldn’t let Eddie go off walking on his own. Groaning in frustration, Buck locked the door and ran after Eddie. 

“Eddie wait!” Buck called out. 

Thankfully, a 7-month-pregnant Eddie wasn’t as fast, and Buck caught up with him fairly quickly. 

“Eddie, come on. Please stop. It’s not safe walking out here, and Chris is all alone at home.” 

“Then go home,” Eddie told him. 

“You know I can’t do that,” Buck replied. “Can we just go back and talk about what’s bothering you?’ 

“You, Buck. You’re bothering me right now,” Eddie scoffed. 

Buck let out another exasperated sound. “Eddie.” He caught Eddie’s arm and forced him to turn around. “Please talk to me.” 

Eddie pulled his arm away. “I don’t have to.” 

“Eddie, you have to know how dangerous it is to walk out here alone at night. Please, let’s just go home,” Buck practically begged him. “Please?” 

Eddie watched him for a little while before sighing. “Fine.” He walked past Buck to get ahead of him and Buck let him. 

When they got home, Buck let Eddie in first, who went right to their room and shut the door behind him. Buck went to check on Chris before making his way to the room. Just as he had suspected, the door was locked. Buck didn’t bother Eddie again. He was just glad Eddie was safe and sound in their house. Buck went to the couch and lay down on it, but he couldn’t sleep. His mind kept going back to his omega. He wasn’t the type of alpha who asserted himself over his omega. He wanted Eddie to have his space. 

Buck lay there for what felt like hours. Then their room door opened. Buck immediately sat up to find Eddie making his way over to him. He didn’t know what to expect.

Eddie waved his hand for Buck to move on the couch. Buck looked at him, confused, before he scooted towards the back of the couch. Without a word, Eddie got in with him after some struggle and lay down with his back facing Buck. 

“What are you doing?” Buck asked. 

“I can’t sleep without you,” Eddie replied. 

“You know we can just go back to the room, right?” Buck asked. 

“No,” Eddie replied, and soon his soft snores filled the living room. 

Buck let out a soft sigh and wrapped his arm around Eddie’s waist, falling asleep as well. 

[shugar0cone]

This is an OC intro/fan fiction

Please note that I have never posted somthing like this on here, so a lot of these controls/buttons are kinda unknown for me. Also you can tell where my hands started to cramp BC I’m on phone but I Perfur computer over this.

Warnings: (Oc x cannon) (mention of death) (mention of a miscarried) (mentions of death, gore, cannibalisim) ( mentioned of sexism)

-story below cut-

I remeber it like it was yesterday and not well god damn how old am I? I had to question myself on this a lot I’ve been down here for the longest of time, it felt like I was forgetting life and only remembering death. Well the year was 1910, I was 10 at the time. Ya see we had a land up in New Orleans it’s been passed down from gen to gen, me being a woman (and the time period it was in) I couldn’t inherit this land. My father Henry Trix and his wife (my mom) Mary trix tried to have a boy but nearly every time my mom had a miscarriage, or the child died on birth. When anything like this happened mom and dad got sad for a few days. My dad used to Pat my head telling me “it’s al’ight hun it ain’t yo’ fault.” His acscent was strong. My mother who is a French women hid her accent well. One day I brought home a coon skull fully intact, my dad was horrified but my mom said “c'est parfait!” And made some butifull art with em, you could tell she was happy when the French came out in her. One day it all went down hill my mom caught pneumonia and back then there was no coming out of it. My dad and I sat by her in her final days. As days rose I became more responsible for our land, I hunted, fed our chickens, horses and mule. I was quite the shot dad used to tell me. I could hit a bullseye a mile away!

When summer ended that year I went back to school I was quite intelligent the only thing I could not get down was the sewing classes. I used to prick my finger all the time and for being a straight shot I had some shaky hands when it came to that. One day while out on lunch I sat on the grass trying to sew. I’m assuming somone saw me struggling. That’s when I met this boy he was quite interesting he was smart and charismatic I’m supprised I never talked to him. He asked me if I needed help, I’m which I said “how could you do it, you’re just a boy?” My dad always got frustrated with the needle saying “MEN SHOULD NOT SEW!” We ended up going to a tailor that day. “Oh well my mother showed me how.” He sat by me takeing the needle and cloth out of my hand. “You don’t need to be forceful about it glide your way through take your time.” Id watch his hands it was effortless for him. “My you must be one good shot if your hands are that steady.” I say. “Yes I killed a buck with my dad last week!” I sat and listened to him till lunch ended. I later learned that his name was Alastor, I have heard of him all teachers expressed how courteous he was and how smart. Needless to say we’ve been friends ever since that day.

1920, I was a 20 year only single woman I worked all days to keep our land afloat, had to sell our horses and our chicken was killed by hawks but hey I still have my mule who was now probably 14. My dad passed away from the flu when I was 18, urging me to get a husband but I did not listen. I constantly received threats from the bank and/or cults saying “if you are not married within 30 days your land will be confiscated, no woman should work like this and is not responsible enough for this. “ I ignored. Al and I had a tight bond everyday after his job he’ll come to my home and be with me saying. “A lady should not be out here alone who knows what’s lerking.” Yeah we had the occasional bear and wild cat but honestly nothing a warning shot can’t fix. “Al I know it’s just, I don’t wanna marry but I do? I don’t know it’s complicated.” I say sitting down the tea that I made.

1921: Alastor and I began a relationship, like a lover kind of relationship. I don’t know how this manifested but one day he brought me flowers and asked me out, I loved Al for awhile but never expressed it really, I always thought it was a friendly feeling. I was wrong. We’d go on small dates and sometimes I would just hang out in alastors studio looking through skripts and hearing his voice. He never had days off really. He had is own apartment which ya think a celeb like him would have somthing bigger but nope. We’d read together and he’ll rant about the human mind and how just a simple smile can intimidate somone under some circumstances. Hell I never knew how much inlove with him I was.

1922: I’ve been begging Alastor to come live with me. I never realized how dark it was out there not how creppy it’s gotten especially since that Louisiana killer. He obliged but only at 1 deal, if I marry him never leave Him. The leave him part was kinda creepy he said it oddly but I said yes and made him move in as quickly as possible. Alastor was happy to have none public hunting grounds his words where “meat just taste better.” Which I agree the meat he’s been bringing home off of the couple bucks he got have been good abit chewed but good. I never understood how Alastor found good bucks that don’t taste as gamey but hey who am I to judge.

Jan 1923: sooo figured out the meat I was eating was human, and my husband is the killer but I love him. I helped him in his kills he refused for me to help get the meat off the bones saying “my, what about your dress we don’t need red on it.” I’m pretty sure it’s because my job is more messy than his. We only killed bad people though not innocents! Jhon hulkey used to beat his wife and cheat on her. I lured him out to the bar for Alastor to stick a knife in his throat, I shot maybe 1 or 12 folks but honestly I can’t remeber.

1933: stock market crashed so did my husband, one night as we where barrying a body: to fatty to eat. I was in the hole makeing sure it was deep enough so hounds or wild cats won’t sniff them up. I heard a hun being shot I thought it was Alastor but I was wrong. His thoughts and blood was on my face I did not know what to do except to get in our car and get to the hospital or police station

1934: a year has passed since my husbands death, I still killed only because I wanted his image to be good. I caught the eyes of a cult who killed widowed or unmarried woman, I guess being a celebrity’s wife makes a big target on your back. Anyways I was kidnapped from my own home drugged pretty much to only end up in a cage with men surrounding me in a fox mask and on horses. I was coverd in a white robe I was scared in that moment. When the cage was opened I went into the hill tops holding to live, maybe if I wasn’t barefoot it wouldn’t hurt as bad. These men I knew what these where when the horn blu. They where the fox hunters captured foxes and killed them for fun. I had gotten away for an hour until I heard a hind it latched onto my leg. A tall men on his devilish horse pointed his riffle at me then…

It went red.

A/N: WELL HOPED YA LIKE THIS! Sorry I usually write this on google docs so a lot of grammar mistakes and I did this on phone, I’m sorry if it’s corney and I know Al is OOC with the marriage shit but why not ya know. Honestly she is only in hell because of him but does she love him… yep death dose not due them part. Anyways bye bye!!



[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Let's Call It Funny

Prompt: Hi! If you know about those gen z peter parker posts, could your write something based on that? With Steve Getting It (tm) because fatalistic nihilism in humor tended to show up during the world wars and we’re seeing a reflection of that now? Sorry- I just think it’d make great options for steve and peter bonding, and dad!tony but actual emotions (gasp!) You can totally ignore this if you want!

Don't ever apologize for giving me such a great ask

Read on Ao3 Part 2

Warnings: uhhh gen z humor

Pairings: none! all found family in this bitch

Word Count: 2529

Here’s the thing about humor. It’s not necessarily that one generation is any funnier than another, it’s just that high school kids are perpetually the funniest people alive. Something about being in a pressure cooker of an environment with a bunch of other people whose bodies are changing in new unpredictable ways whilst having very little say in how their lives go creates humor. Gasp of shock, right?

So basically what Peter’s trying to say is that he’s fucking hilarious.

Come on, not only does he have the default high schooler stuff, he’s also gay, which gives him an instant bonus. He’s trans, which opens up a whole new subset of humor for him to explore. He’s neurodivergent as fuck, and we all know that makes people funny as hell. And if that weren’t enough, he’s severely traumatized and he’s Spider-Man.

Peter Parker is funny as hell.

What is truly devastating—and really, it’s their loss—is that so few people seem to appreciate it.

Ned gets it. Ned’s not someone Peter would expect to not get it, just because hey, it’s Ned. They’ve met each other in the hallways and been like ‘hey! You’re still alive! Congrats on having a body!’ Only for the other one to go ‘hey! You’re alive too! I wish I had an intangible form!’

Because bodies are stupid and evolution really fucked us over but at least we’re not horses.

A solid 50% of their interactions are just quoting John Mulaney and Bo Burnham bits back and forth at each other. Peter’s never gonna forget the day they both had detention and had to watch that stupid Cap PSA—it’s propaganda, you Nazi fuckwits—and something reminded them of the ‘horse loose in a hospital’ bit and they just did it. Full out. Stood up and did the actions and everything. The rest of the room was either trying to do it with them—and failing, because they didn’t have nearly enough practice—or looking so confused. The security guard—Paul, he’s great—just looked at them blearily after they finished and went:

“I mean, you kids are right, but you’re not supposed to talk in detention.”

Well, excuse them for trying to make it more entertaining for everyone.

MJ gets it. If Peter’s being honest, he learned most of his humor from her. She is the master and it is an honor to study in her wake. He’s definitely hijacked the asking whether or not anything’s actually meaningful existentialism jokes and they’ve wormed their way into his day-to-day repertoire.

“Why are you late, Mr. Parker?”

“Time is a social construct, Mrs. B, none of us are ever late or early except in the subjective spacetime paths. The limits of our sensory perception make it so we can’t tell if anything is real, let alone whether or not they conform to some arbitrary definition of ‘time.’”

“…just sit down, Peter.”

See? It works.

Aunt May gets…worried.

Sure, they’ve actually talked about when Peter needs help and wants to reach out and when he’s just making jokes off the cuff because hey, humor’s a great coping mechanism or it’s just a joke and not that serious. Peter loves his Aunt May, so so so much, and the last thing he wants to do is really worry her. And she’s gotten pretty good at figuring out when he’s just joking and when he’s spiraling.

Sometimes, though…

“Peter,” Aunt May calls from the kitchen, “did you remember to stop by the store on your way home?”

Peter freezes halfway through the door.

“Peter?”

He swallows. “…no.”

“Why not?”

“Because I am too stressed and consumed by the swirling pit of blackness deep in my soul to remember my head is connected to my body, let alone remember to go to the store.”

Silence.

“…Aunt May?”

“Do you want to drop off your stuff and then go to the store?”

“…yeah, please.”

“Love you, Pete.”

“Love you!”

“Try to remember that you’ve got arms so you can pick stuff up.”

“Got it!”

See? It’s fine.

The Avengers don’t get it. Like, at all.

Natasha and Clint like, sorta get it? They make the same jokes all the time when they think Peter can’t hear them, which—come on, you guys are super spies, surely you know people are gonna hear you when they’re gonna hear you. Natasha will make a crack about something, Clint will laugh and shove her shoulder. It’s their dynamic, we get it. But when Peter does it…

“Hey, Baby Spider?”

Peter sticks his head up from the ceiling. “Yeah?”

“Where’re you crawling off to?”

“I’m gonna go hide in the garage.”

Natasha blinks up at him. “Why?”

“Because if I get crushed by the airlock doors then I won’t have to do my paper tomorrow.”

Silence. Natasha’s mask is too good for Peter to actually see what’s going on with her, let alone from this angle, but silence isn’t good.

“Nat—oof!”

Something blurs out of the vent nearby and tackles him down onto the couch.

“Clint!”

“Nope,” Clint mutters, wrapping Peter up in a hug as Natasha comes to join them. “You’re staying with us now, Pete.”

“Guys, I’m fine.”

“Peter,” Natasha says softly, “don’t joke about that, you’ll make us worry.”

“I don’t wanna do that,” Peter mumbles, “but it’s fine.”

“Coping mechanism, huh?”

“Yeah.”

“He’s got too many brain cells to do that,” Clint says, ruffling Peter’s hair.

“Stark has a lot of brain cells, you see what good that does him?”

“Hmm. Guess you’re gonna have to stay awhile, Pete.”

There are worse fates. Definitely.

Thor just kind of gets confused by it. He acts like Peter isn’t going to be absolutely fine because there’s no need to do anything like that. No, Peter, you don’t have to put the bleach in first into your cereal, there’s plenty of milk left over. No, Peter, you don’t have to throw yourself off the roof because your laptop is freezing, Stark has so many just lying around. No, Peter, you don’t have to pack a rucksack and run away to the Alps and live like a recluse, come here and get a hug.

Peter suspects Thor’s playing dumb on purpose. The man is smart as hell, there’s no way all of this is flying over his head. And honestly, it warms his heart a little bit when he sees Thor’s sincere, concerned look when he thinks Peter’s not looking.

Banner and Rhodey just kinda shake their heads and move on. They’re used to it. They live and work with some of the most dramatic fucking people in the goddamn universe, they’re used to a little bit of extra humor. Occasionally one of them will give him a look that says he’s pushing his luck, but that’s not often. Less often now ‘cause he knows what he can get away with. He’s also seen them hiding smiles behind their hands or poorly disguised coughs. They’re not as slick as they think they are.

Tony.

Tony is the fucking worst.

Peter can’t get away with so much as sighing too hard before Iron Dad™ is swooping in all soft words and concerned touches. Jesus. You’d think he’d get it, he uses humor as a coping mechanism too, goddamnit, why is he so worried about Peter?

Okay, fine, he knows why.

MJ’s over at the Tower, having another one of her ‘sketch people in crisis’ appointments with Natasha. Peter is coming off of a 32-hour caffeine rush and is violently wishing for death. Tony is in the kitchen doing…something.

“Hey, do you think bleach would make a good smoothie?”

Tony wheels around to see MJ pulling a glass out of the cupboard.

“Kid—“

“Sounds like a filling breakfast,” Peter groans, “can you make me one too?”

“…I’m legitimately concerned,” comes Tony’s mutter.

MJ ignores him. “Who’s the bitch on your forehead?”

Peter rubs absentmindedly at the massive knot on his head, courtesy of a wall that rudely decided to move at the last second while Peter was attempting to walk through a doorway. “He’s called DJ Braindeath and he’s my only friend in the world.”

“Peter—“

“Oh did you meet him at the furry convention?"

“Technically it’d be a buggie convention.”

“What the hell are you two talking about?”

“The pantry doesn’t have good coffee, I’m going to Starbucks.” MJ grabs her bag. “You want anything?”

“A will to live?”

“Peter, what the fuck—“

“Oof, I’ve only got like…20 bucks.”

Peter lets his head drop back to the counter. “Then just leave me here to die.”

“Can I have champagne at your funeral?”

“I’ll be dead, I won’t fucking care.”

“God, I wish that were me.”

Then MJ’s gone and Peter gets treated to a 20-minute conversation with a very concerned Tony Stark that he doesn’t remember most of because hey caffeine crashes aren’t fun.

He definitely does it on purpose sometimes just to wind Tony up. Like there’s this one incident with an interview he does as Spider-Man and he gets asked what he thinks about Tony Stark’s newest intern, Peter Parker.

“That boy’s an embarrassment, just…complete failure. Can’t speak without stuttering through every other word and self-esteem issues all over the place. Also looks like he got dressed in the dark.”

The reporter had awkwardly moved on to another question. The interview aired later that day while Peter was at the Tower. Tony sat next to him on the couch about halfway through.

“You look good, Pete.”

Peter had mumbled halfheartedly, only to hear the reporter ask the same question.

“See, that’s the problem with having a secret identity, you don’t…” Tony trailed off as he heard the answer.

Peter snorted as Spider-Man finished talking. “Say that to my face, you bitch, get a real job. At least I don’t look like someone vomited silly string all over my spandex.”

“Are you okay?”

See? Fun.

The only one he’s made a conscious effort to not be this funny around is Steve.

Because, okay, here’s the thing. Steve’s disappointed look has no effect on him anymore. He’s immune, motherfuckers, he’s had detention too many times for it to still work. Here’s the other thing: Steve doesn’t actually use that tone of voice that often. It’s this meticulously crafted image he plays up in interviews because it catches all the bad guys so off guard when Captain America is suddenly swearing a blue streak at them and telling them to go fuck themselves in, honestly, quite creative ways. The sincere Steve Rogers disappointment and concern still very much works. Also doesn’t help that Steve does caring so fucking well, like…who gave him the right to say a few things and hold Peter like he’s something precious and do the quick one-two punch of saying a super sincere compliment and following it up with ‘I love you.’ Who did that? It’s rude. Stop it.

And yeah, Steve’s the resident Mom at the Ready. It’s a risk to even sit on your bed looking sad ‘cause here he comes, wearing something snuggly and saying ‘hey’ in that stupid, stupid compassionate voice. So Peter knows he’s just gonna end up crying from too much soft if Steve actually gets concerned. Which won’t be fair because he’s gonna try and explain that he’s fine and it’s just his sense of humor while crying. Yeah, like that’s gonna be believable.

So he’s trying not to but damnit it’s hard.

Then he walks into the kitchen one day to see Steve struggling with the toaster.

It’s one of Tony’s new prototypes—which means that anyone struggling with it is so fair—and from the looks of it, it’s managed to not only burn the bread to a crisp, but also mangle the slices beyond recognizable shape.

Peter’s not paying that much attention. He’s on his phone, heading towards his spot in the corner with the beanbag chairs and definitely doesn’t recognize Steve as he goes.

He only plops down and hears someone declare, in a completely deadpan voice: “There is no point to existing at all.”

“Oh, mood.”

He doesn’t think much of it. He doesn’t even know who said that, that’s how hyper-focused he is right now. He hears the others come in and feels Clint plonk down next to him.

“Hey, Pete.”

“Sah, dude.”

“Just vibing. Did I do it right?”

“Yeah, man you’re going great.”

“You teach Thor ‘yeet’ yet?”

“We’re getting there.”

“Steve,” he hears Tony call from the kitchen, “what the fuck did you do?”

“Language.”

“Don’t fucking talk to me about language when you’re making toast that looks like a goddamn welder’s table, what is that?”

“Your prototype’s work, I imagine.”

“How did you even—“

Clint chuckles next to him as the two of them start fondly bickering. Peter’s too busy speedrunning the five stages of grief in his head.

Did…did Steve say the thing about there being no point to existence at all?

No…no way.

He must be imagining things.

Then, of course, there’s a chime on his phone.

Ned: Did u do the bio hw?

There was bio homework?

Ned: yeah, due at noon

“I now know why God abandoned this timeline and when will death come to take me?”

The room goes silent.

Shit.

“Peter,” Clint says, “it’s gonna be fine, you can do bio homework in your sleep—“

“Are you okay?” Ah, that’s Thor.

“Kid—“

And Nat, and Tony’s probably rushing over here as he speaks.

Then there’s another voice.

“We can only pray the reaper arrives early for his appointment with us, kid.”

Peter’s head snaps up.

Steve.

Steve fucking Rogers raises a coffee cup at him in salute and takes a sip. He makes a face.

“…that was definitely salt,” he mutters, before shrugging and downing the whole thing.

…what?

Peter’s still staring at him until he catches his gaze and winks.

Oh, fuck yes.

“Steven Grant Rogers,” Tony says, hands on his hips, “explain.”

Steve just gives him a look. “I grew up in the Great Depression, Tony, and I was in the army. You don’t think I have a fatalistic sense of humor?”

“Plus the fact that most of my generation is resorting to types of humor found when death and stress are so ever-present that you have to joke about it says something,” Peter adds, “doesn’t it?”

Steve raises his cup again. “See? He gets it.”

And just like that, the bond between Peter Parker and Steve Rogers was written, formed, and sealed in salt and existentialist depression.

“There’s two of you,” Tony mumbles, “oh my god, there’s two of you.”

“Oh, you just wait ’til Buck and Sam get back.”

Peter can’t fucking wait.

[holylulusworld]

For your celebration drabble can I have Jensen x fem Reader? Please make it super angsty. Maybe a break-up? Can the reader be pregnant too? Please, give mr a happy end with Jrensen. I don't have an idea for the fall/halloween theme. Can you chiose for me? Thank you

Walking by

11,000 Followers Fall & Halloween drabbles  

Summary: It’s been months since he left you. Now the man breaking your heart complains in public.

Warnings: angst, language, Jensen being a douche for a moment or two, break-up, pregnant reader, kinda public bashing (online/mentioned), comforting, fluff

Pairing: former Jensen x Reader

Characters: Jared Padalecki, Genevieve Padalecki, Ofc Judith

A/N: Inspired by Dido’s “Walking by”; lyrics taken from the song in Italics.

A/N2: Okay, that one got away from me and it’s longer than 500 words. I did not go for a happy ending but a hopeful one. I kept it open for the reader to decide if you give him a second chance.

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

You and him. Once upon a time you and Jensen were a whirlwind romance, maybe it was even love at first sight.

Now all you’ve got left of the love you shared is a bitter taste on your tongue.

His lawyer made sure you will keep your mouth shut about the break-up as in your love-sick state, you signed a confidentiality obligation when you got together. This means you are committed to pay penalty for every violation against the confidentiality obligation at the rate of 10,000, dollars.

Keep me locked up, keep me shut in

You can but my mind still roams free

You can keep me caged, you can tell me to be quiet

But I remember everything

Unlike you, Jensen preferred to tell everyone about your break-up. Even though it was him who broke things up, he insists you broke his heart, not the other way around.

Sometimes you look at your phone, shaking your head at the next hurtful interview. He’s a great actor, you give him that. Breaking up with you as he feared his career would be ruined if people get to know you used to work as an exotic dancer to pay for your study was not enough. No, Jensen must rub salt into the wounds he left.

Please don't forget that you broke your own heart

And don't forget that you lost your mind

“How does it feel to break a good man’s heart?” The paparazzi snarls at you. He’s getting into your personal space, taking pictures of you, and even worse, your six, months baby bump. “Is that the guy's child? The ones you left Jensen for?”

“Leave me alone. I got nothing to say to you,” brushing past the man you try to outrun him, but he runs after you, almost pushing you to the ground. 

“Hey, asshole! Leave the girl alone,” a familiar voice barks. “Don’t you have better things to do than hunting a – fuck me – pregnant woman?” Jared grumbles, wrapping his arms protectively around your waist whilst Gen threatens to call the cops.

“Get lost. Leave Y/N alone,” Gen warns, already dialing 911. “I swear we will sue you. We all saw you were about to attack a pregnant girl.”

“Classy,” the man spats. “You protect an unfaithful stripper girl who broke your best friend's heart…”

“Y/N,” Gen tries to touch your arm, but you shove her hand away. “Please, let us help you.”

“Leave me the fuck alone. All of you,” you wiggle out of Jared’s embrace, not wanting him to help you. “I don’t need you. I could’ve handled the situation all by myself, just like the last six months as no one wanted to hear my side of the story. Or rather, I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone the truth.”

Please stop tellin' everybody that I did it for you

'Cause every step I take I'm always here behind you

And I don't need words or anything from you

And I wish I'd never felt it, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never met you, kept on walking by

You walk away, not listening to Gen or Jared calling your name. Ignoring their voices, you wipe a few tears away before you rush toward your car. 

“Y/N, please stop walking away.” Jared tries to catch up with you. He’s jogging now, worriedly placing one hand onto your shoulder. “Why don’t you tell us your side of the story?”

“If you want to know if the baby is Jensen’s, the answer is that its none of your fucking business. You should also know I can’t talk about anything including my relationship with Jensen as I don’t have 10,000 bucks to waste.” You walk by, ignoring Jared’s words. 

Keep me locked up, keep me shut in

But I remember everything

Please don't forget that you sought your own heart

And don't forget that you lost your way

“Another interview?” Judith, your best friend, sighs. “That bastard should shut his cakehole.” You snicker, giving her hand a tight squeeze. “Will he sue you if I kick his balls?”

“He would know I told you the reason for the break-up,” you look at the pictures on Jensen’s Instagram account, shaking your head. “Soon I’m out of here. I got a new job and will leave the country. No one cares about Supernatural in Denmark.”

“As far as you know,” Judith pokes your belly, hating you look sad. “How about we go for a walk in the park? You love the colorful leaves, I know it.”

“Jensen, he used to go with me for a walk in the park when the leaves started to change their color. He even collected a few for me,” you smile at the memory but then your face falls. “I thought he loves me until my past collided with his career.”

Please stop tellin' everybody that I did it for you

'Cause every step I take I'm always here behind you

And I don't need words or anything from you

And I wish I'd never seen it, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never met you, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never tried it, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never felt it, kept on walking by

“He’s a fucking asshole who dared to say it was your fault he broke up with you. Period.” 

“I didn’t give him choice, you know. I said if he wants a break, this means we are over,” you whisper, running one hand over your swollen belly. 

“Let’s go to the park and enjoy the sun, the leaves and we can scream at guys who want to play football,” Judith holds out her hand, offering to go with you but you shake your head. “Not today?”

“Not today, Jude…”

The sun warms your face, and for a moment, you close your eyes to enjoy the warmth. There is a sadness in your heart you can’t shake off.

Yes, you told Jensen if he wants a break to overthink your relationship this means you are over, but you never thought he would go for it.

“Y/N,” there is this tiny voice in your head telling you to run, as fast as you can hearing his voice. “Please, give me a minute.”

“If you came to ask if I told Gen or Jared anything, you can go back home. Your fine lawyer made sure I can’t tell anyone you were the one who broke things off with me,” you grumble, glancing at the colorful leaves in Jensen’s hands.

“I didn’t come here to complain or to fight. I hoped you would be here,” Jensen mumbles stepping closer. “Shit, Y/N. I don’t know why I did not try to fix us.”

“You said everything I needed to know months ago. If you excuse me now, I got somewhere else to be. You know, when we met that day, the day you broke things off with your wife,” your voice cracks when you meet Jensen’s gaze. “The day you came to the club and poured your heart out, I should’ve never listened to your shit.”

You start to walk away, not missing the sob leaving Jensen’s lips. “Y/N, please. I know that you’ve got no reason to forgive me, not after I agreed to give all those stupid interviews. My management, they said you must take the blame for the break-up.” 

“Fuck you. Fuck your management,” you spat into Jensen’s face. “I got no reason to forgive you, and I won’t…”

“Baby…I love you,” shaking your head you wrap your arms around your waist. “I love you so much it hurts. I wish I told you sooner.”

“I wasn’t finished, Jensen. When we met the other week and you grasped for my arm to kiss me,” you huff, meeting his gaze one last time. “I should’ve kept on walking by. I wish I never met you. I wish I never felt anything for you. I wish I never saw the way you looked at me when you believed I wasn’t looking.” You sniffle, eyes cast down. “If I would’ve walked by, I wouldn’t be so much in love with you…”

Please stop tellin' everybody that I did it for you

'Cause every step I take I'm always here without you

And I don't need words or anything from you

And I wish I'd never met you, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never felt it, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never seen it, kept on walking by

And I wish I'd never met you, kept on walking by

“Baby girl,” Jensen steps closer to cup your face. His thumb wipes the tears away. “I can be a better man. I told everyone that it was me messing things up. It’s all over the media. I fired my management; lawyer and I will do anything you want me to do. Just…please…take me back…”

“Jay,” you choke his name out, fighting your tears. “I don’t think I can…”

“Please, don’t walk by. Please don’t forget about me,” Jensen presses his forehead against yours, praying you’ll be able to forgive him. “I…I wasn’t with anyone, I swear. I regretted my decision the moment I left your apartment, but it was too late. Honestly, I was there, at your home, more than once but feared you would hate me.”

“I can’t, Jensen. Not now,” you run off, tears falling now.

“Y/N, please...just give me a chance,” Jensen runs after you, grasping for your hand. “All I’m asking for is that we talk things out. Please...”

“Jensen,” voice trembling you look up at Jensen. “Okay. I can try to talk things out, but that’s all I’m willing to give...”

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Dean/Jensen Forever Tags   

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[half-bakedboy]

Idiot in Love (read on ao3)

Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz Rated: Gen Summary: “My parents never loved me,” Buck blurted out and it all but knocked the breath right out of Eddie.

This fic was created for the 118 Weekly event hosted by The 118 Discord Server.

__________________

Eddie always knew when there was something wrong with his best friend. Buck wore his heart on his sleeve, but everyone on the team was so used to Buck pushing his feelings aside before they had a chance to delve into what might have been bothering him, and everyone usually simply… forgot. Eddie wouldn’t let himself, though. He found that he couldn’t, even when Buck sat in his usual spot on the couch, staring down at his phone and laughing as if nothing was wrong. 

“Hey Bud,” Eddie said as he made his way over, flopping down on the couch with his legs spread out onto the coffee table in front of them and the usual bottle of water in his grasp. 

“Don’t ‘hey bud’ me,” Buck sighed, his shoulders stiffening in that immediate defensive way that warned Eddie he had to be really careful about his next words. 

“I’m just subtly letting you know that if you wanna talk about it, I’m not going anywhere,” Eddie reassured. Before he could talk himself out of it, he rested his hand on Bucks’ thigh and was grateful for the way Buck melted back into the couch in relief. 

“I don’t know, man, I just--” Buck started, but quickly stopped himself as he glanced around the upper floor of the firehouse as if searching for listeners. It wasn’t like him to care if someone overheard his grievances, so Eddie waved a dismissive hand at Bobby who had started wandering up the stairs before Buck could make him. He was glad Bobby took the gesture for what it was and stayed downstairs because when Buck turned back, his eyes were glossier than Eddie would have liked. 

“Do I need to get Christopher to come cheer you up? You know Carla would have him down at the station in minutes if she drove fast enough,” Eddie threatened with a lighthearted smile on his face that was practically reserved for Buck. Buck rolled his eyes and shook his head, reaching for the phone that sat next to him on the couch. 

It was a comfort item, Eddie had come to realize soon after meeting Buck, and one that let Buck ignore what he was feeling in favor of google searching random facts about whatever interested him that day. At the mention of Christopher, Buck relaxed even further, but he still grabbed for his phone like anxiety was only a moment away. Buck was quick to reach for the comforting tech, but Eddie was quicker as his own hand snapped out and rested on top of Buck’s. Neither of them pulled away, so Eddie just held onto it tighter, pretending he couldn’t feel the slight tremor of nerves shaking through it. 

“My parents never loved me,” Buck blurted out and it all but knocked the breath right out of Eddie. He couldn’t fathom how one, someone could ever not love Buck, but more so, how Buck could think his parents felt that way. Before he could ask any questions, Eddie continued frantically, “I never really thought my parents loved me, but to find out I was just some-- some savior baby just confirmed what I already freaking knew. I really thought Maddie loved me, but you don’t keep such a monumental secret from someone you love and I thought Abby loved me but she just left me, knowing that even though I was waiting for her, she was never going to come back to me. It’s like every single person who is supposed to love me, doesn’t. And I don’t know how to--”

“Hey stupid,” Eddie interrupted, holding onto Buck’s cheek tenderly and wiping away the fallen tear Buck tried so hard to hold back. 

There were so many things Eddie had wanted to say to Buck. He wanted to tell him about how the only times he had seen Maddie cry was because her little brother was in trouble and how what happened with Abby was her issue and hers alone. He wanted to pull Buck into his arms and remind him that none of those people mattered because the team loved him. Bobby thought of Buck like the son he never wanted but got stuck with anyway and Chim thought of Buck as much as his brother as he thought of Albert (if not more). Hen and Athena would be hard-pressed to admit their fondness for Buck, but they all knew it was there. He wanted to make sure Buck knew all of those things and how important he was to so many people. 

Instead, he blurted out, “I love you.” 

“You do?” The timid tone of his voice had Eddie surging forward and connecting their lips in a passionate kiss; one that was years in the making and far too long overdue. At first, Eddie wasn’t sure if Buck would push him away or plaster himself against the back of the couch in order to be as far away from him as possible, but when Buck dropped his phone to the ground, Eddie knew it wasn’t a mistake. 

Buck was an absolute idiot when it came to his own worth, but now, Eddie could be there to remind him that at least, he was an idiot who was loved. 

[walkeddeath]

now i know i’m not alone — gen & buck / @walkedfire mini web weave.

[veilcore]

MISC EDITS :: tarot cards ft. @walkedfire

only tagged may reblog

[hailxhydra]

the more you say (the less I know)

By @hailxhydra​ for @iwritedumbshit​

via @friendly-neighborhood-exchange

Rating: Gen

Relationships: Tony Stark & Peter Parker, Steve Rogers & Peter Parker

Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers

Summary:  TONY STARK IS DEAD. The words were plastered on the front page of every newspaper across the world. Tony Stark, the resident genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist, was dead. Completely, irrevocably, unchangeably, dead.

Or was he?

OR

After the events of Endgame, Peter Parker decides he has to go back in time to save his mentor’s life, finds out that Tony wasn’t everything Peter thought he was, and chaos ensues.

“You sure about this, kid?” Steve asked Peter, coming up from behind him to clasp his hand on his shoulder. Looking out into the crystal clear lake and the surrounding forest, Peter gulped, trying to get rid of that unsettling feeling at the bottom of his stomach bubbling up until it overflowed, and he broke down right in front of everyone.

“What?” he said, swallowing the lump at the back of his mouth. Turning to face Steve, he shook off the hand on his shoulder, which immediately went straight into the pockets of his black pants. He glared at Steve, though obviously not in a malicious way. He was met back with a blank stare. The impassiveness of it was relieving; Peter didn’t need any more emotion from anyone, let alone the person who had abandoned his mentor for years, without a goodbye, nor some contact information. The bleak, vacant gaze held a sort of comfort for him, being something steady, something that he could hold on to while all around him, there was chaos. It was a lifeboat.

“Look, we’ve all been there. Believe me, I know what it feels like. I was in ice for seventy years. I lost everyone. But I had people to help me through it. You do, too. You don’t have to do this.”

“What’re you trying to get at?” he blatantly asked, rolling his eyes and turning back to the lake, the calm lake, the lake that had absolutely no problems, the lake that was steadfast and balanced, the lake that was everything that Peter wanted to be. “Are you implying that I might do something? I can’t change what happened either way, what with the implications, plus, the Grandfather Paradox is a bunch of bullshit, it just creates an alternate timeline, like with blue robot lady one and two, and anyway, how would that work without any local quantum interference? It’s crazy, I mean like-”

“I’m not talking about the science behind it. I can’t know what you think, but, looking from the outside, it is pretty clear what you want to do. Now, I don’t know if anyone else realizes it, and maybe it’s just because we’re so similar that I would have taken the same line of action, but you have family here. People who care about you. Just, spend a few minutes mulling over your decision. You have to be completely sure before you do anything drastic,” Steve said, starting to walk away after he was done.

“You’re really big on monologues, aren’t you? It’s a very 40s vibe you give off!” Peter called after him, a smile gracing his face in this tough moment. Steve just made a peace sign in return, his back still facing him, and continued his conversation with Sam. He looked around, taking in the serenity of the lake house. Tony had bought it during the Blip, so Peter had never gotten around to seeing it with him. He quietly stepped inside, making sure not to make any noise as to give away his position. He wanted solitude, without anyone barging in every few minutes to check in on him, or to offer him some juice, or to whack his head with a newspaper (although that last one was mainly Sam and Bucky, and he didn’t know from where they even got the endless supply of newspapers).

The inside was nice. A change of scenery from the dark outfits everyone wore outside. Built almost entirely of walnut wood, the lake house served as a reminder that he would never get those five years back. The five years, in which everything had changed. He wondered if May had gotten dusted, too. If she had gotten married again, or had a kid. They didn’t have much time before the funeral to catch up, always being whisked away to talk to one person or another. He led his fingers across the panels of wood, taking in the peacefulness inside. Feeling a presence creeping up behind him, he swiveled around to punch the person in the gut. He widened his eyes when he realized who it was.

Bucky Barnes, aka the Winter Soldier, aka the White Wolf, aka the most dangerous man on Earth, was keeling over, hands on his midsection, looking like he was about to puke.

“OhmygoshI’msosorry,” Peter rushed, hands outstretched, but stopping in mid-air, as if he was rethinking his decision to help him up.

“Come on, kid. Why do you have to do that to a hundred-year-old man? Ever heard of ‘respect your elders’?” he groaned, stabilizing himself by putting his hands on Peter’s shoulders and lifting himself up.

Peter felt his cheeks heat up and turn scarlet before muttering a small, “I said I’m sorry.”

“What I came here to say was before you so rudely knocked me over, was that I think Bruce is firing up the machine. He wants you to suit up and get ready. It’ll be ready any time now,” Bucky said, giving a Chesire cat-like grin before turning away to talk to someone Peter didn’t know.

Peter laughed and shouted, “That wasn’t a good pun at all!”

Bucky looked back at him, gave him the middle finger, and yelled back, “I’m a hundred-year-old assassin, give me a break!”

Peter shook his head and turned to look at the suit in his hands. The suit itself was grey, with streaks of red running down it (the Avengers were very fashionable, to say the least). It had a leathery texture, but not quite leather; it was comfortable, yet effective at the same time. Most importantly, it would protect him from the quantum energy and radiation that came with time travel.

Looking at it, Peter felt unworthy, but, wearing it, he felt like he could do anything that he ever wanted. He felt like he was an Avenger. It wasn’t like anything else in the world. It was special. It was distinctly his, not anyone else’s; his.

“My wittle spidey is all gwown up now!” May exclaimed, smiling at Peter in his new time-traveling suit.

“May, I’m not a baby!” he pouted, stomping his feet on the ground, purposely acting immaturely. “I’m not your ‘wittle spidey’! I’m a grown-up kid!”

“Whatever, it’s fine. Just come with me. They’re all ready for your big superhero entrance.”

Getting there was a long hike. For some absurd reason, Bruce had decided to put the time travel machine smack in the middle of a dense forest, and it took quite a while, even in his super suit, to reach the destination.

“Peter? You ready?” Bruce (Professor Hulk) asked. He put his big green hand on his shoulder, and Peter felt something break there.

He suppressed a cry and said weakly, “Yeah.”

“You sure about that? One of us could do it.”

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

Bruce gave a soft smile and led Peter over to the launching pad.

“So what do I have to do again?” he asked.

“Just stand there. Make sure you’re holding the stones and the hammer. You need to return those things at the exact time they were taken. If you don’t, it’ll-”

“Create another timeline, I know. That’s all I have to do. Just return the stones. To the right time. Okay, let’s do this.”

He stretched out his hands and legs and went to go and stand at the pad. Surveying the crowd, he caught a certain someone’s eye. Steve took off his hat, bowed down, and smiled at him. He gave a small thumbs up to Peter, reassuring him that this was the right decision. Peter cleared his throat, nodded a few times, and gave Bruce the signal.

“Five… four… three… two… one.”

“How long will it take?” Sam asked. “I need a break.”

Bruce looked at his monitor in confusion. Typing something into it, he showed Sam the calculations. Sam just raised his eyebrows.

“I’m not some science genius. You’re going to have to explain it to me.”

“He was supposed to come back in two seconds. He should’ve been back by now.”

“What?” he asked, although there wasn’t anything he could do, and he knew that. Steve smiled a bit and turned around to face the wilderness. Unfortunately, this action did not go unnoticed by Bucky. He lunged towards him and pulled him up by the collar. He raised his eyebrows to his hairline and gave Bucky a bewildered look.

“What did you do?” he threatened. Steve gave a smirk and raised his hands, surrendering. He shrugged (which was really hard, given Bucky was still holding onto his collar), and slowly took Bucky’s hands off of him. Once they were completely off (and into his jacket’s pockets), Steve huffed.

“I did nothing, Buck. It was his decision, not mine.”

“Will you tell us where he is?” Sam asked, coming up from behind them. Steve simpered, looking Sam straight in the eye.

“No, I’d rather not.”

“I know you did something you little piece of-”

December 16, 1990 || New York City

The streets of New York City were bustling with people trying to do last-minute Christmas shopping, the shops illuminated with strings of Christmas lights. Although the rain dampened the mood (in more ways than one), the crowd hurried from store to store, trying to acquire the perfect gift for their friends and family, brightening the otherwise bleak scene.

The women, clad in their voguish outfits of pantsuits and tinted oval sunglasses, directed their tired husbands to different toy stores, presumably to buy a set of some knick knacks and trinkets for their children. The little boys and girls dragged their mothers and fathers to various windows, pointing at the numerous playthings propped up in the front.

The teenagers, dressed in baggy sweatpants and flannel jackets and too many chains to look good, looked bored as hell, and were smoking in some neglected corner in the adjacent alleyway. They laughed, sending puffs of smoke billowing into the atmosphere, seeming so carefree in that small moment.

Muffled conversations could be heard throughout the streets, though no one was paying much attention to the stifled voices, choosing to focus on the more fortunate aspects of life. A man, speaking into his phone in hushed whispers, hugged his briefcase tight to his chest and sent out panicked glances if anyone came in close proximity to him. A woman, an unlit cigar hanging from her mouth, clutched her handbag, a small purse dog whining in it, and grinned at any unsuspecting young man that came near her. A young couple, looking like they were physically connected to each other, walked along the jam-packed street, sneaking in kisses as if they weren’t allowed to be seen in public with one another. There were, in total, at least a few hundred people in that small street, all trying to get away from the stress of day-to-day life.

Although it was a lighthearted scene down on the streets below the towering skyscrapers, the rain poured down onto the throng of people, the immense clouds covering the full moon, giving the place an eerie aura.

In an alleyway off to the side of the square, Peter dazedly woke up, scratching his eyes, just recovering from the gripping experience of time traveling. He had returned the infinity stones to their particular places and time periods. The soul stone to Vormir in 2014, the Tesseract to that old SHIELD laboratory in 1970, the time stone to the Sanctum and the Ancient One in 2012, the power stone to Morag, the Aether to Asgard in 2013, and the mind stone to the oblivious Hydra agents at the Avengers Tower in 2012. So, as you can see, it had been a really long day for Peter.

He groaned and raised his hands, only to find them covered in dirt and some wet, slimy substance he couldn’t remember the name of. It wasn’t just his hands; the whole alleyway was covered in this substance.

“Ew,” he groaned, making sure not to be loud, so that the horde of people wouldn’t see him. That would cause multiple complications in Peter’s plan, probably resulting in him being sent to an orphanage because they couldn’t find his parents. It could also be more drastic and he could end up in some government facility because his name wasn’t on any of their rosters. He might also have been classified as an alien, and that would definitely thwart his mission.

The pitter patter of the rain woke Peter up from his delusional fantasy, and, putting his palms on the damp, muddy ground, he stood up. Tip toeing out of the alley, he surveyed his surroundings in order to make sure no one was watching him, and wandered out onto the street. People shouldered their way through the crowd, always looking behind their back to see if someone was following them. Peter did the same, though for different reasons than them.

He walked along the street for a while, getting whisked away by the crowd. There wasn't really a place to go for him right now, so he just wandered around, window shopping (though he had absolutely no money), trying not to think about the past Christmas he spent with Tony, eating food until they threw up, and opening the presents they gifted each other, Rhodey, Pepper, and Aunt May.

There were a lot of… characters on the road. Some of them smiled at him very creepily, staring at him as though he were something enjoyable to eat for supper, and others were confused as to why a child, dressed up in a weird suit without his parents, was solemnly walking along the boulevard - Halloween had passed two months ago, and it was now Christmastime. One couple was kind enough (or evil enough) to hand him a Hershey’s chocolate bar. Not those bite-sized little ones that Peter used to get from Delmar’s or that one grocery shop in Queens. This one was king-sized. It could’ve lasted Peter at least a month if he were back in Queens in his apartment.

A sense of dread overtook him. The mission. He couldn’t fail it. No, he had to prove to himself that he was ready.

But what if he wasn’t?

He pushed his way through the mob of people. They stared back at him, eyes wide in shock. He didn’t care. He sprinted all the way across the road to the other side of it, shoving away the people who got in the way. He reached the empty wall, feeling the bile rise in his throat.

He puked onto the wall. The people moved away from him. His heart pounded in his chest. Blood throbbed in his ear. Holding onto the wall, he sobbed. The world seemed to turn fuzzy, and everything he saw was distorted, as if he were in a VR game that was malfunctioning. The wall in front of him turned wobbly. Instead of a straight wall, it was now a curved structure. The ground underneath him seemed to give out. He was falling. He was falling to his death. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t call for help. No one wanted to help him. Another round of bile seemed to erupt from him, and he puked even more of his lunch onto the wall. The world was ending. The world was ending, and he couldn’t do anything about it.

He couldn’t save people from dusting. It was his responsibility to save them. People were counting on him, and he let them all down. He let Mary and Richard down. He let Ben down. He let Aunt May down. He let Mr. Stark down.

He could hear people in the distance, calling for help. He also heard an indistinct sound of laughter. A familiar sound. This sound, unlike the multiple other people screaming, he knew. He knew this sound.

“Mr Stark?” he mumbled from force of habit, pausing to throw up for the third time. All the sound ceased. The tears didn’t, though. They continued flowing in wet, fiery streaks down his cheeks. He could see the crowd make a partition, though his vision was seriously warped. A teenager, probably around his age, walked through the space. He could hear the crowd whispering and pointing at him, although the other man paid no attention. He had to squint his eyes to see him, choking back a sob. He couldn't embarrass himself more than he already did. He cried violently, and the man crouched down and cocked his head to the side. Almost, but not quite, as if he was observing him. As if he was some experiment in a glass cage.

He sobbed harder, and he retched, wishing something would come out so the man would move away from him. The man just tilted his head to the other side and squinted his eyes. He looked at all the other people and shooed them away, and they obliged. Peter and the man were left in solitude, a small sort of bubble forming around them, giving them some peace and quiet.

“How do you know me?” he asked in a low, menacing voice that made Peter cry even more.

“I don’t know!” he bawled. “I’m sorry!”

The man picked Peter up by the arm and looked him straight in the eye. He couldn’t see well through the tears in his eyes, but the man looked truly scary. He heard some shouts in the background, cheering the man on. He grunted and threw Peter onto the ground, walking away to his group of friends.

Peter tried to pull himself up, but, through his severe panting and sobbing, he could not sit upright. He then resorted to lying on the murky ground (on which there were some questionable substances). Gasping for air, Peter tried to calm down.

Key word: tried.

The tears never stopped flowing. The memories didn’t, either.

Memories of Mary and Richard. Of how his last words to them were, “I hate you!”’ before they boarded that damn plane.

Memories of Ben. Of how he died in his arms, bleeding out from the gunshot wound, while he couldn’t do anything to save him.

Memories of how he left Mr. Stark for five years. Five freaking years. And, just as he came back from the dead, Mr. Stark had to go and sacrifice himself for the universe.

Lying there, on the ground, the crowd walking around him to avoid stepping on the child, he fell into a deep sleep, unbothered by the disgusted looks thrown at him by the supposedly “posh” people of New York City.

[buckybarnesbingo]

BBB Week 6 Roundup!

Little bit late, Mod Meg was on vacay over the weekend.

Title: Cute Quaterbacks Collaborator(s): Tori/samandbucky Link: AO3 Square: B4 - Sharing Clothes Rating: Teen Ship(s): Steve/Tony Major tags/warnings: AU, School, Fake Relationship, Protective!Bucky Summary: Steve and Bucky grew up as childhood best friends and are now roommates in college. Bucky dares Steve to bring a date to one of his upcoming football games after Steve suggests he could date anyone he wanted to. Enter Tony Stark. Word count: 1767

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Title: The Curse Collaborator(s): Tori/samandbucky Link: AO3 Square: K4 - Kiss Rating: Teen Ship(s): Bucky/Clint Major tags/warnings: Fluff, Established Relationship, Magic, Curses Summary: Clint gets hit during an alien attack with some dark magic, Bucky and Steve can't wake him, so they go to the only person they know who can undo the curse: Stephen Strange. Word count: 1364

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Title: A Regular Harry Houdini Collaborator(s): Bird Link: AO3 Square: K4 - Prisoners/Captives Together Rating: Teen Ship(s): Sam/Bucky Major tags/warnings: Minor Episode 5 Spoilers, Post-The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Captured, First Kiss Summary: “You know, if Steve kissed me in the middle of an escape attempt, he would bring it up after,” Sam said. “I thought we weren’t talking about Steve,” Bucky grunted, closing his eyes. “I’m going to take a nap.” “I can’t believe you’re pretending to take a nap right now.” “I’m 106, Sam. I’m allowed to fall asleep whenever I want.” Word count: 1365

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Title: K5 Card B096 Soulbond Collaborator(s): Rufferto Link: Tumblr Square: K5 - High Fantasy, Curses, Shiny Sword Steve Rating: Teen Ship(s): Stucky Major tags/warnings: Fantasy Warrior Bucky, Curses, Art, Sword Steve Summary: When Bucky went off to war Steve was cursed into a sword. Bucky managed to find him because they share a bond but he's cursed. Bucky now carries Steve into battle wherever he goes looking for a way to have Steve at his side again. This was done on Hot Press Water Color Paper with Windsor & Newton and Arteza paints. I don’t much like the scan, there’s something always lost when a watercolor image is scanned but I will try some other time to get a better photo of it. Word count: none it is art.

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Title: Benevolent Overlord Collaborator(s): IndigoNight Link: AO3 Square: K1 - Bucky Bear Rating: Gen Ship(s): Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers Major tags/warnings: Fluff, PTSD, Codependency, Alpine the Cat Summary: “Hi,” Bucky says, wincing a little at how hoarse and rough his voice sounds from disuse. The kitten just hisses at him again, huge green eyes narrowed into slits. “Yeah, I get it,” he agrees with a grimace and a commiserating nod. Word count: 4921

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Title: I'm James Buchanan Barnes Collaborator(s): e_hytes Link: Tumblr Square: C2 - Art Style: Black and White Rating: Gen Ship(s): No pairing/ship Major tags/warnings: #buckybarnes #wintersoldier #jamesbuchananbarnes #mcu Summary: A drawing of Bucky/Winter Soldier black and white Word count: N/A

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Title: Someone Like You Collaborator(s): Nicnac Link: AO3 Square: C4 - Prison Rating: Mature Ship(s): Bucky/Reader Major tags/warnings: Enemies, Uneasy Allies, Hydra Agent Reader, Negotiations Summary: Taken from their SHIELD prison cell, the reader finds themself alone with The Winter Soldier negotiating for their life. Word count: 2693

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Title: Sambucky Incorrect Quotes Collaborator(s): snowstark Link: Tumblr Square: U2 - Partner-In-Crime Rating: Teen Ship(s): Sam/Bucky Major tags/warnings: Enemies to lovers vibe, Humour Summary: “Bucky, we tried things your way already.” “No we didn’t.” “I did it in my head and it didn’t work.” Word count: N/A

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Title: darling, you’re the one i want in paper rings Collaborator(s): cyanica Link: AO3 Square: C5 - teasing Rating: Gen Ship(s): steve/bucky Major tags/warnings: first time, demisexuality, period-typical homophobia, fluff, friends to lovers Summary: "Okay, I don't know why I’ve never – you know!” Bucky said after a moment, a soft laugh spilling from his lips – something so genuine and bashful, that Steve wasn’t so sure what to make of. “You're just – you're the only one I've ever had eyes for. You're the only one I’ve ever wanted.” Or, whatever deity had constructed the fragmented pieces of their souls together, they were made of the same smithereens, and Steve was sure he had known that as a child, holding Bucky’s slightly larger hand and accepting that they were of the same love, without even knowing what such a concept was. Word count: 1630

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Title: Unexpected Alliances - Chapter 4 Collaborator(s): PoliZ Link: AO3 Square: C5 - Lending a Hand Rating: Mature Ship(s): Stucky Major tags/warnings: Fantasy AU, enemies to friends/lovers, referenced/implied torture Summary: Buckthorn’s refusal to use his fae magic to support his captor’s cause has left him battered and broken; when he is given a dangerous shifter as his cellmate, they overcome their differences to become allies and perhaps something more. Chapter 4: Upon reaching the shifters’ camp, Buckthorn meets another of Stephen’s companions who seems to have a chip on his shoulder when it comes to fae folk. Word count: 1034

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Title: A Story Told in Flesh, Chapter 3: Together In Dreams Collaborator(s): ChrissiHR Link: AO3 Square: B2 - Rocket Racoon Rating: Explicit Ship(s): Bucky x Darcy x Steve Major tags/warnings: Big Swingin’ Dick!Steve, smut, nsfw, dream sex, sex positive Summary: Bucky and Darcy get massages and discuss Aesir medical treatments; Darcy has an erotic dream about Bucky & Steve. Word count: 1270

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Title: Written In The Scars (On My Heart) Collaborator(s): IndigoNight Link: AO3 Square: K5 - Just Do It Rating: Explicit Ship(s): Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Major tags/warnings: Past Rape/Non-con, In Heat (but not A/B/O) Masturbation, Sex Toys, Mildly Dubious Consent, Body Worship, Self Body Worship, Rimming, Fuck Or Die (sort of), Porn with Feelings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Inability to Orgasm, Body Image, Reference to Past Medical Experimentation, Self-Lubrication, Touch-Starved, Touch-Averse Summary: He swallows hard, struggling with himself one last time and losing. “I need your help,” he manages to whisper, voice cracking. The air in the room immediately changes. The wound up tension drains out of Steve, his posture and voice going soft. “Sure, Buck,” he says, cautiously moving back toward him. Bucky can’t move, his arms locked tight around his knees, and he can’t lift his gaze higher than Steve’s knees either. Steve pauses when he’s still a few feet away, squatting down and angling his head in an effort to see Bucky’s face through the curtain of his hair. “Anything. What do you need?” It’s everything Bucky can do to hold still, every cell in his body vibrating with the need to throw himself into Steve’s arms. He opens his mouth, but his throat sticks and he has to swallow again before he can force the words out. Slowly, by sheer force of will, he drags his gaze up to meet Steve’s eyes. “I need you to fuck me.” Word count: 41k

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Title: Acceptance is the first part of Healing Collaborator(s): Laevateinn Link: AO3 Square: C4 - Denial Rating: Teen Ship(s): N/A Major tags/warnings: 1e3 : Power Broker, TFATWS coda, TW for : implied sexual abuse/assault, dissociation, PTSD, flashbacks, Angst, hopeful(ish) ending Summary: "You good ?" Wilson asks him, after he fought against eight men. "You okay ?" Wilson asks him, when they get to Sharon’s house. "You hurt ?" Wilson asks him, when they get out of the car. Yes, Wilson. All good. Now if the guy could shut up and carry on, that'd be great. Why would he be "not fine" anyway ? It's not as if anything that happened that day hasn't happened before. Word count: 906

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Title: The Maze Stumbler (Moodboard) Collaborator(s): Turtles Link: Tumblr Square: B3 - Labyrinth Rating: Teen Ship(s): Darcy Lewis & Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Major tags/warnings: Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Thor, Cocktail, Labyrinth Summary: Something, something, Thor spikes the punch at the party and they all decide to re enact the Maze Runner… or something like that. Sam and Bucky wake up in the middle of a maze, nothing but Darcy’s voice in their ear giving them directions and critiquing their methodology Word count: N/A

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Title: The Maze Stumbler (Fic) Collaborator(s): Turtles Link: AO3 Square: C1 - Stranded Rating: Teen Ship(s): Darcy Lewis & Bucky Barnes & Sam Wilson Major tags/warnings: Thor's Asgardian Booze, a labyrinth, Dubious Timeline, Everybody Lives, Crack Summary: Don’t drink Thor’s Asgardian booze. Ever. Word count: 1657

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Title: 5 Times Steve Received Plums from Natasha or Sam and the 1 Time Steve Realized the Plums weren’t from Them Collaborator(s): Girl_Back_There Link: AO3 Square: K5 - Bucky/Steve Rating: Teen Ship(s): Bucky/Steve Major tags/warnings: 5 + 1, Bucky and his Plums, Angst and Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug Summary: Steve keeps finding plums in his hotel rooms or his bag. He thinks it is Natasha or Sam trying to be a good friend by making sure he is eating and keeping up his energy in the search for Bucky. Each plum he finds reminds him of Bucky growing up in pre-WWII New York. The times they would give each other a plum as a way of saying “I’m sorry” or “I love you.” Word count: 2998

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Title: Faith and Desire and the Swing of Your Hips Collaborator(s): IndigoNight Link: AO3 Square: U2 - French Kiss Rating: Explicit Ship(s): Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Major tags/warnings: Crossdressing, Nonbinary Steve Rogers, Oral Sex, Body Dysphoria, Gender Exploration, Supportive Flirting Summary: “You look gorgeous, doll,” he drawls, dragging up as much of old Brooklyn as he can to infuse into the words. Steve startles, even though the doorway and Bucky in it are clearly reflected behind him in the mirror. Steve’s eyes flick to him and away again, his face going pink from the tips of his ears and spreading all the way down to his chest. He fidgets with his skirt, hands smoothing over the folds of it self consciously. “It looks a little silly,” he mutters, chewing on his already chapped lower lip. Word count: 5470

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Title: Stay Collaborator(s): Bird/plutosrose Link: AO3 Square: C3 - Free Square Rating: Explicit Ship(s): Sam/Bucky Major tags/warnings: Post-Canon, First Time Summary: “So, are you keeping the outfit?” Word count: 1919

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Title: It's Not a Miracle You Need Collaborator(s): UisceOneLove Link: AO3 Square: Y3 - At a Crossroads Rating: Teen Ship(s): James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Major tags/warnings: Post-Endgame, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hopeful Ending Summary: Sitting out on the dock of Tony's lakehouse while the others slept, Steve thought about where he was expected to go from here. It's a good thing Bucky's around to help him see where that can be. Word count: 1584

[ohwereusingourmadeupnames]

You Slow It Down

Pairing: Peter Parker/Tony Stark Rating: M (Mature) Word Count: ~3.6K Notes: This is my Secret Santa gift to @sideeyedkinks for the @starkerfestivals fic exchange! I enjoyed making the prompt fit into the inner workings of my head and hope I did it justice!  Warnings: There be some NSFW stuff, but that’s about it!  Prompt: Tony fully expects that Peter, being a tech-y Gen Z, will prefer texting to phone calls. But whenever Peter initiates contact, it's a phone call. Summary:

Instead of continuing with his journey as Iron-Man, Tony Stark takes a couple of steps back in hopes of finding himself. After 5 years of living harmoniously with the world around him and the position he created for himself within the Avenger organization, Tony literally bumps into the start of the rest of his life. It's funny how life works - the best things always come when they're least expected.

Or, the one where Tony is obsessed with Christmas trees (& Peter Parker, too).

Read it on AO3 here. 

After the debacle with Killian and what felt like an ultimatum from Pepper, Tony took a huge step back from everything; his relationship and the Iron Man suit included. Of course, he didn’t pull his support away from Avenger business or leave them high and dry – consulting specifically with their tech and only their tech became his main gig. When the weight of the world was on his shoulders, sometimes his decision-making processes weren’t up to par – there were too many things that shadowed his vision; too many things that inhabited his head that the world shouldn’t see.

With every step away from the active duty stuff, the better things seemed to be. It started with sleep. Before, Tony would toss and turn; his head filled to the brim with ideas and visions – not so good times past. Little by little, Tony found himself sleeping through the night, his slumber the best he could remember in all of his grown-up years. And the lack of anxiety – Tony’s constant companion for so many years – it felt like a sweet release from the tomb he didn’t know he let himself fall into. Everyday things started to feel good again – including the work that he let himself drift from when he thought the world depended on him and him alone.

Before he knew it, five years were behind him – five years filled with successful technology advances, big rehabilitation in the city, and lots of actual enjoyment of his life. Tony allowed himself to actually get to know Happy; the man was a bundle of ideas, his take on security and the inner most running of Stark Industries both beneficial and fun to kick around when they found the time. Despite still having his toe in the world saving pool, Tony removed himself from it enough to make a place for his wants and needs that wasn’t riddled with grief and the terrifying idea of letting everyone down.

In his enjoyment, Tony found himself getting into the holiday spirit as the city turned from the hum-drum busy-ness to a gorgeous winter wonderland. In all the years of living in New York, the decorations never stood out; until he looked, of course – then, he couldn’t stand to look away.

Which is how he found himself standing in front of the lit-up tree at Rockefeller Center, the multicolored lights and unique ornaments covering the tree making his heart race, the feeling new each time he stood in front of the towering spruce. Tony was so wrapped up in the beauty before him that he didn’t realize he’d taken a few steps backward until he was full body colliding with what could only be another human being – his breath leaving him upon impact.

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry – “ the lump of human murmured, his hands on Tony’s biceps before he could catch a look at his tackler turned savior.

Tony took a second to register a couple of things while the words sunk in – the first was that the body now pressed against his own was warm and what could only be described as firm. The second, and most important, was the way the other person’s hands felt in their grip against the upper part of his arm. Almost like he’d fallen asleep on the limbs, both arms were tingling, the place of contact on fire from the rightness of the touch. A shuddered breath left his lips before Tony could even think to respond.

“It was probably my fault. I’ve been staring at the fucking tree for who knows how long – I tend to wonder when I’m hyper focused like that.” Tony finally felt steady enough on his feet to take in the person standing in front of him smiling a gorgeously embarrassed grin.

“I was doing the same thing. Ever since I left for Cambridge, coming back and seeing the tree is more important than it used to be.” The man – the beautiful, young man stepped back then, his hand lingering on Tony’s arm for a second longer before dropping down into the space between them, a bigger grin on his face. “I can’t really say I’m mad about the collision, it kind of seems fated that we meet like this.” He stopped for a moment, taking more of Tony in – and then – “I’m Peter.”

Tucking his bottom lip between his teeth to stop the mega-watt smile from overtaking his face, Tony ducked his head and returned the handshake, his hand tingling all the while. “Maybe you’re right – you’re a fellow tree lover after all. I’m Tony – Tony Stark.” For a second, he held his breath, not sure what kind of reaction he was going to get from the handsome stranger.

As if reading his mind, Peter gave his hand a squeeze, cheeks blooming with a delightful red. “I know – I’m studying Engineering at MIT; you’re kind of a legend.”

A soft laugh left Tony’s lips at that, the breath he’d been holding slipping out with relief. Regardless of what the kid actually knew about him, Tony appreciated the tact – he felt his pride swell with the compliment. His time at MIT was treasured, despite what the rags told the public about it.

“An engineer, huh? How are the new labs? I heard they were starting to finally integrate the holoscreen technology.”

From there, the conversation just took off. Peter gushed about the leaps his research was taking now that the available technology was up to par. Despite being only 21, Peter was a semester from graduating – his hunger for achievement and knowledge apparent in every word out of his mouth. It was easy – talking to someone that showed genuine interest in all the pieces of Tony; not just the techy brilliance or his time in the suit. They walked around the tree a couple of times before making their way to a coffee shop where they occupied the table until very close to closing time.

His eyes still sparkling with the thrill of meeting someone he instantly liked, Tony bucked up some confidence and invited Peter back to the penthouse with him. “I know we just met, but I like you. Want to come back to my place?” Their bodies migrated closer and closer throughout the night, his hand finally wrapping around Peter’s as he spoke.

He felt a spark of hope slip down his spine when Peter shifted his hand just enough to tie their fingers together, the fit nice, just right down to the thread of the inside of each digit. Peter’s hand felt like it was on fire, the heat warming him up down to the very core.

“I think I’d like that,” Peter finally replied, his voice warm and a touch deeper, the idea obviously appealing to him in some fashion.

Tony didn’t give any opportunity for either of them to talk themselves out of it. He urged Peter up and to the curb with a squeeze on his hand, their steps steady as they navigated through the crowd on the sidewalk to where Tony parked his car – their hands only parting when Peter settled safely into the passenger seat.

Luckily, the drive back didn’t take long – the silence in the car was comfortable yet tinged with a sort of lust that encompassed everything. It felt good – to feel a nice kind of apprehension. There was a part of him that reveled at the novelty of the feeling. In all his years, Tony hadn’t felt anything like this – a burning desire that was consuming.

They didn’t let the dam break until the elevator dinged as they arrived in the foyer of Tony’s penthouse, the nearness to each other in the elevator car more than enough to sustain the need. And yet, the second the door opened, Peter’s arms were grabbing Tony’s hips, their lips sealing together without wasting a beat.

As quickly as possible when sealed from lip to toe, Tony steered them back towards his bedroom, the pair stopping every time a hard surface came into their periphery. Tony had to stop himself from letting Peter press him against the wall to take him right then and there. A gasp of success sounded when they finally tumbled into the bedroom, Tony breaking their connection to suck in a breath and do the dirty work of undressing.

Peter’s eyes watched him closely as he shrugged off his jacket, his scarf and hat hitting the floor with it. His fingers were cold, but still nimble enough to steadily undo the buttons of the warm flannel he put on in preparation of being out in the cold. His torso was completely bare by the time Peter blinked and started to disrobe himself.

Without much hesitation on either part, Tony and Peter met in the middle of the bed once the layers of clothing were coating the bedroom floor. Tony’s back pressed to against the mattress as Peter settled over him, the limbs that still spoke of youth covering him completely.

Long fingers ran through his graying hair, Peter’s eyes roaming over his face unblinkingly, as if trying to memorize his features. Tony let him have his fill as his own hands wandered over bare skin, the smoothness of it a perfect addition to the hard muscle residing just under the surface.

“You’re beautiful,” Peter mumbled, each word loud in the soft quiet surrounding them. His eyes were earnest, as if he needed Tony to know how real the words were. “You have the craziest eyes.”

Before Tony could even think to respond, Peter was in action – the quick shift in tone almost too much for the moment. Yet, Tony didn’t even want to stop the moan from slipping out of his lips when Peter let their groins settle together, the shift of their cocks together delicious in the ‘need more’ kind of way. Tony let his fingers grip Peter’s skin a little tighter, the thought of leaving a mark on him adding to it all.

The lack of shyness from the younger man didn’t surprise Tony one bit. The way he spoke of his interests told Tony that there was a deep passion residing in Peter’s belly – the extent of it translating to this aspect of his existence, too. Exploring lips made a trail from the side of Tony’s neck to the junction of his thigh before pressing against the warmth of his dick, making his entire body jump from each passing stimulus.

Tony was just cognizant enough to reach out behind him, his hand fumbling over the bedside table until he could grasp the drawer and pull out the necessary supplies. He thrust them in Peter’s direction his eyes lingering on the ceiling in hopes of not embarrassing himself by coming too soon. On top of the long stint between the last connection with another human being, Tony felt a fire that burned hot – hotter than ever before. There wouldn’t be much need to even touch him once Peter really got going.

The softness of Peter’s touch made it easy for Tony to forget the discomfort of being stretched open again, this particular act one he hadn’t partaken in for quite a while. The slick slide of too much lube and knowledgeable fingers made the usually awkward process an easy escape; nothing else existed but Peter, the weight of his body, and touch of his hands – a touch that felt like it was everywhere all at once.

His patience wearing thing, Tony let his hand drift to Peter’s shoulder, his fingers pressing desperately into his skin. “I’m ready. Please – you need to fuck me.”

The breathiness of his voice usually would’ve caused a surge of anxiety, but the look on Peter’s face at the words didn’t allow any negative feeling to sink in. His stomach tightened as a beaming smile answered him – Peter shifted with an energy that spoke of excitement and anticipation, both feelings that Tony didn’t realize could be so damn enjoyable.

Peter gripped the back of his thigh tightly with his free hand as the other shifted a now condom covered cock, the length glistening with the sheen of lube in the small amount of lamplight. Tony forced himself to relax with every inch that Peter pressed inside of him – the feeling of being stretched by someone that touched more than just his physical body overwhelming; their connection ran deep, Tony could feel it even after such a short time together.

The luscious feeling of Peter bottoming out pulled a moan from Tony’s chest, his hands shifting in an attempt to pull the other’s weight over top of him. Getting the hint, Peter prompted Tony to wrap his legs around his waist, then let his upper body fall forward, his arms cradling Tony’s head, the ripple of his firm stomach brushing against an already leaky dick between them.

With the shift in position, Peter slipped even deeper, the head of his cock pressing smoothly against Tony’s prostate without even a single move of either of their hips. His eyes glazed over; the fingers now buried in Peter’s hair gripping in an attempt to stay in the moment.

“You feel amazing. The sort of full that shouldn’t be possible,” Tony mumbled through a few panted breaths, his stomach and lower half finally relaxing to a point where Peter felt like he could move. Slim hips shifted, the swivel of them driving the contact with his prostate a few ticks further up the pleasure meter.

Their lips were once against sealed together as Peter started to set a solid rhythm, the push and pull between them in sync, their bodies moving in a way that was too easy to bring the end rushing towards them both before either of them were ready. Tony clung to every one of Peter’s movements, the long muscles shifting under his hands, the warm skin covered in sweat to the point where their movements were so easy because of it.

The friction of the slick slide of the skin of Peter’s stomach against his erection with every thrust pulled Tony’s orgasm from him, the feeling of it suddenly hitting him a surprise in its own right. The tightening of his ass around Peter’s length inside him was enough to pull the other over the edge with him, Tony feeling the stuttering thrust just seconds after his stomach tightened and the world shattered for a few blissful moments.

Burying his face in Tony’s neck, Peter let his breath brush against the skin there, the comedown between them just as sweet as the raucous coupling moments earlier. Tony held him closely, the ache in his legs from sustaining the same position not enough to override the utter bliss of a good orgasm and a gorgeous man pressed against him.

----

For the remainder of the days between their meeting and Christmas, Tony and Peter stayed wrapped up in each other. They shared a multitude of takeaway, lots of sex, and time in the lab that Tony introduced Peter to when he finally felt like it was right to get out of bed; it’d been a long time since an attractive and totally youthful person shared the luxury of his Egyptian cotton sheets.

It was easy to pass the holiday with Peter where they snuggled by the fire with the tall tree in their view. They exchanged last minute gifts in the form of physical contact and time spent together – both figuring out just how enjoyable it could be to have a person around that just seemed to get it.

Tony wanted the time to stop so he could keep Peter forever, but it flew by them instead; before he was ready, they were heading into the last day of the younger man’s break. In their isolated time spent together, it was easy to forget that each had lives existing outside the creature comforts of his penthouse and the small bodega across the street. The last few hours before Peter was meant to be on the train back to Cambridge were agonizing, both anticipating the distance already, despite the physical need to rotate within each other’s orbit at all times.

“It’s not goodbye, Tony,” Peter mumbled into Tony’s stubbled neck, his lips caressing the skin there.

His fingers were toying with the small hairs at the back of Tony’s head, the soft comfort of the touch enough to keep him from being too sad about the situation. Leaning into the touch, Tony nodded, his nose brushing against the swell of Peter’s cheek.

“I know – I’m just going to miss you. I probably won’t catch a break until you’re due back for spring break, so I’m trying to soak you in before I don’t see you for a while.” Tony punctuated the words by breathing in a deep breath, his chest tight with the long drawn in pull of oxygen.

Peter pulled him into a swift hug before either of them could say anything else. They already talked about the end of the semester, the time where Tony could actually have Peter to himself without disrupting both of their lives. The promise of more was tantalizing, more than enough to get him through, but a tease all the same. Tony returned the embrace, his fingers digging into the jacket Peter nabbed from his closet.

They shared a brief kiss before separating completely, Tony flashing him a soft smile. “Go – you’ll miss your train if I let myself keep you here any longer.” Tony brushed his fingers over Peter’s cheek, the touch more than enough to say the words he couldn’t get out. “Let me know when you get in.”

There wasn’t any hesitation in Peter’s movements as he got out of the car, his eyes catching Tony’s as he turned back briefly, the obvious need to completely turn around apparent in every minute movement. He shot a quick wave over his shoulder, Tony grinning before returning the gesture.

Getting home from the train station, Tony let himself get lost in his work, the hope of distracting himself from Peter’s absence obvious in the way he tried to bury his being completely. He must’ve been successful because the next conscious thought he could recall came from the ringing of his phone, the cheesy ringtone he set for Peter’s calls sounding around the lab. Quirking a brow, Tony wondered about the phone call – most people Peter’s age were all about texting. He expected to have most of their conversations over the easy to send messages.

Unable to suppress a smile, Tony swiped his finger across the phone to answer the call, his tone rich with the affection he felt. “I take it you made it in okay?” Tony questioned in a way of greeting, the awkwardness he usually felt over the phone vanishing.

Peter laughed, the sound settling low in Tony’s belly. He missed the heck out of everything about him already; the thought making his gut clench.

“I did – I slept the entire way on the train; I was home before I could blink, it felt like.”

And so, things went – Tony worked on the tech on his to-do list in between phone calls with Peter when his boyfriend had a spare minute between all of the crazy academic things he was currently pursuing. When the ringtone for a call came in, Tony let a small smile slip across his lips – every time the action surprising him. He didn’t know if it was just Peter, the man unique in his own right, or if it was a necessity now that they knew and understood the connection between them. Tony liked the sound of Peter’s voice and hoped the feeling was mutual.

When they were finally able to meet for spring break, it was like no time at all had passed between them. There wasn’t much better than seeing each other in person, but the familiar pitch and sound of Peter’s voice felt like a constant companion – enough of a connection to feel like they weren’t so far apart, after all.

And when the time came for Peter to come back home for real, Tony waited impatiently for the phone to ring, his being totally in tuned with the shrill sound of the ringtone that was now so damn familiar. He felt his face splitting into a wide grin when it eventually did go off, his body already in motion – this was the last time he needed to go to the train station to pick his best friend up.

The words “turn around” stopped him dead in his tracks, the echo of them making him look up, his limbs moving before Tony even knew what he was doing.

Peter stood there with the phone pressed against his cheek, the key Tony gave him during his last trip dangling from the other hand. Without a second thought, Peter hung up the phone, the thing falling from his hands with the force in which he moved across the room towards Tony.

Long arms were pulling him into a hug within seconds, Peter’s hands digging under Tony’s shirt without any further preamble. Returning the hug, Tony let himself bury his nose in Peter’s neck, his smile tickling the fine hairs there.

“Welcome home, Petey.”

[sxveme-2]

blueberry pancakes // bucky barnes

MASTERLIST

Description: A single mother. Juggling being a mom, a full time pediatrician, and a difficult ex who believed now would be the best time to finally be a father. A soldier ripped out of time. Ex-assassin turned superhero. Learning how to balance a new domestic life with handling demons of his past, while facing the trials of the future. a love story began over something as simple as chocolate chip pancakes with hidden blueberries.

Disclaimer: I do not own any original Marvel characters! All canon plots and canon characters belong to Marvel Comics and Marvel Studios. This is an original work. You may not publish it anywhere else

Status: Edited

Note: Takes place after endgame. I have elected to ignore Tony's death and Steve's leaving. Did not happen. Quick Reminder! My works are only published here, AO3 and on Wattpad, thank you.

Chapter Nineteen: The One With the New Way

Warnings: N/A

Word Count: 3596

     the very first time a boy asked lily out was way back in high school. close to twenty years ago. he was a sweet kid, a year older than the blonde. he was fairly popular, no quarterback but people knew his name. michael parvish. a dashing man. he had dark sandy blonde curls, bright aquamarine eyes. a smart kid, he was in a few of lily's advanced classes. he had asked her to go to the homecoming with him and grab dinner before hand. lily, being lily, was absolutely terrified of it. but gen had managed to convince the blonde to say yes, so she did. she knew a lot of girls had a crush on the boy, and lily wouldn't deny she did to. he was beautiful, and she prayed the inside reflected what the outside had.  

       they dated for four months, before michael moved away to iowa for his fathers job.

       the second time was when she was in grade eleven. a senior had taken a keen interest in the girl, and made a move. he was a baseball player, and also very attractive. dark chocolate skin that would shine in the light. amber eyes that made lily feel weak in the knees most of the time. he was sweet, a bit shy, but quite charming. they dated until lily graduated and moved to new york city. he had moved out to california for baseball, and she had no desire to move to that state or go to school there. so they parted ways after two years.

       the saying goes that third times the charm. well, that wasn't exactly lily's fate. the third time she was swept off her feet was in her days as university student.  a tall, built, gorgeous student with a smile that made lily feel like there was no one else around her. he was two years older than her and an engineering student. girls would fall at his feet, yet he would always end up back at lily's door after a party. they wouldn't do anything, merely sit and talk. it was sweet and euphoric. the two seemed to get on perfectly.

       his name was scott harvey. and he was not the prince charming she believed he would be.

       she had been romanced and asked out a few times after the divorce from scott. but she always said a simple "no thank you, I'm not dating right now." she would refuse any sort of affection or charm from any sort of man. one of gen's staff, elijah, had come the closest. he was kind and good with hunter, but lily didn't really feel anything. so all together, lily had only really experienced a relationship three times, each for a substantial period of time. but she supposed a part of her knew each of them wouldn't be the one. scott was the only one she was slightly convinced would be her last. lord, was she wrong.

        but now? lily had an opportunity sitting in her lap. or should she say, leaning over her. an opportunity with a scruffy beard and steel blue eyes. dark hair dancing in front of those said eyes, and a cold metal arm attached to him. and danger. threat came with her opportunity. she was willing to take that risk, knowing he would never let anything happen. but her heart hesitated slightly at the thought. she knew she had told him any girl would be lucky to have someone like him, and here she was, that said girl.

       "doll?" he whispered, "you look like you've seen a ghost..."

       "hm? oh," lily smiled weakly, "sorry. just caught me by surprise a bit." she hummed, tucking a stray piece of blonde hair behind her ear.

       "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked." bucky mumbled, going to push off the wall and stand at full height.

        but her hands caught his waist. she tugged him forward, gripping the toned midsection tightly as she pressed a soft and careful kiss to his slightly chapped lips. the tickle of his scruff sent butterflies down through the girls stomach, but she knew her answer. she knew it before he even really asked. the hesitation far from her head as she looked back up at him, lips separating with a faint noise. gentle breaths fanning the others face as bucky scanned her features, attempting to sleuth out her answer.

         "yes, bucky," she whispered, playing with her bottom of his navy blue henley, "I will be your girlfriend." the blonde concluded, giggling at the bright grin that spread across his lips.

         a bit of a weight seemed to release itself from the bulk of lily's shoulders as the words left her lips. the clear elation in the mans eyes helping warm her heart, and create a sense of ease with her decision. he was the right one for her, she knew it. the way he would hold her and the way he would kiss her. how his hands found their way through her hair easily, and managed to make her feel whole again after years of being shattered and broken. how he seemed to adopt hunter right away in a way a father would a son. god...the way he acted with hunter. so soft and gentle, so loving, accepting. everything.

        "come on then, let's go wait out this little party and then head to your place. just the three of us,  hm?" he cooed, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

        "oh didn't I tell you...they're all coming back for dinner!"

        "...dear god."

-----

       honestly she wasn't sure why she had actually added that there would be a dinner when everyone came back to her home after the tour. she didn't necessarily like any of the parents that would be coming back. the only reason she could think of was the fact that hunter adored the kids, as did lily. plus, a selfish part of her wanted to show all of them that she can be a successful doctor and be able to afford a comfortable life for her and her son without the help of a spouse or anything like that. lily knew it wasn't right of her to think like that, but she felt the urge to sort of...well, rub it in their faces that she had done well. despite the amount of obstacles that had been placed as roadblocks for her to swerve around.

      "so what's on the menu, lily." jill hummed as she found herself perched on one of the barstools at the kitchen island of lily's home. that same condescending smile still as evident as ever on her face.

      "pancakes." the blonde countered, pulling out the ingredients, "it was all in the invitation." she continued, smiling tightly at the woman, "buck could you go downstairs and check on the kids for me?"

      "sure, doll." the man behind her cooed and placed a gentle kiss to her cheek before wandering off from the kitchen. she caught him toss a look over his shoulder, as though he wanted to double check she did want him to actually leave her with the group of petty, uptight, parents that she so despised.

       lily was still lily. she was still shy and quiet and non-confrontational. now becoming the official girlfriend of bucky barnes wasn't going to change her personality. she didn't enjoy being alone with these people, but she still  needed to be able to stand on her own two feet. still be able to handle situations herself if things went south. she prayed they didn't, and she knows if they did she would have put herself in that position. she would have caused the problem for herself. and though she knew this, she had still sent him. lily figured it was better late than nevre to learn how to handle her own messes if they arose.

       "nice place you have here." thomas commented, sipping on a water, "I don't think any of us have actually ever been in your house before. other than our kids of course. I suppose we weren't all expecting it."

       lily felt herself grin slightly as she mixed the ingredients together, blowing a piece of stray blonde hair from her face as her arm worked. she knew they were expecting something smaller, messier even. but lily was proud of where she had ended up. if there was anything in the world that lily actually found confidence in, it would be the life she had built for herself and her son. even when she was married to scott, it was mostly just her and hunter. lily wore herself thin but she wanted hunter to grow up in a happy place, or as happy as she could make it. she couldn't make up for the absentee father or the lack of quality time he had with his dad. but she tried her best to substitute that with as much love from her as she could. all while managing and juggling schooling, chasing her dreams, and ensuring that there was always a stock fridge and cupboard. and now, she found herself in their dream home with a dream dog, and a newly found relationship that created a warm and domestic environment for everyone.

       "thank you thomas," lily smiled, placing her hands on her baby blue polka-dot clad and navy blue cardigan clad waist, tilting her head, "got a great deal for it.  and then hunt and I made it our own." she explained, glancing over at rose who leaned on the wall with a raised eyebrow at the kindness of the group.

       "but have you ever considered finding someone? like for real," jill piped up, "not this little daydream fantasy you have with bucky barnes of all people." she scoffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

       lily froze as she poured the batter into the cast iron griddle she had. she felt the air in the room disappear as she finished pouring the batter. glancing up, she tucked one of the loose blonde strands of her hair behind her ear and tilted her head at the woman in front of her. of course jill would be the one who would try to continue to poke at lily in her own home. there were so many things that she wanted to say. so many insults and retorts. but her words got caught in her throat. her chest tightened and stomach twisted. sweat glands opened and the saliva in her mouth ceased to exist. her eyes blurred and a warm feeling gathered at the waterline. the room around her slowly began to bend inward and she had to take a step backwards. she dropped her spoon and cleared her throat, attempting to compose herself.

     "why don't you go see if the kids are okay, bucky's been down for a few minutes." rose stepped in, placing her hand on her sisters shoulder, grounding her.

      stepping away without a word, lily tugged at the knit sleeve of her cardigan. attempting to let air inside of what felt like restraints. tugging at the small buttons as she walked down the stairs, lily tried to steady her breath. ripping the material off of her body, she threw open the basement door and proceeded to jog down the rest of the stairs towards where she heard laughing voices and one deep gruff one telling a story.  the sounds of his and her sons voices melting together had her heart slow, and her breathing regulate. she gripped onto the wall and let out a gentle sigh. the rough feeling of the drywall reminded her where she was as the feeling of bile subsided from her throat.

       "lily?" bucky's voice cooed as he walked over to her, hand finding it's way to her waist to rub gentle circles onto her hip, "you okay?"

       "yeah, yeah I'm okay. rose just took over the cooking. just needed a minute," she whispered, leaning her head back against the corner of the wall, "how're the kids?"

       "they're good, doll," he hummed, running a flesh finger down her face, "they were jus' asking about the final battle a few years ago..." he trailed off, eyes falling down to his feet. lily smiled softly and placed her hand on the scruffy side of his cheek, "I dodged the question, I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about it just yet with hunter...the things I did lily I-"

         reaching upward, lily placed a soft kiss to the mans slightly chapped lips, "it's okay love, it's okay." she whispered, "let's head back upstairs if you're ready, to make sure rose doesn't end up cooking jill instead."

         sliding his metal arm into the girls hand, the two made their way back up the stairs, only to have a small and gentle tug at the bottom of lily's skirt catch her attention. both glancing back, she saw a familiar head of blonde smiling up at the two softly and they turned around to look down at the young boy.

        "is it okay with you guys if luke and finn stay the night?" he whispered, smiling up at the two of them shyly.

        lily's heart grew so large she believed it would completely burst from her chest. he didn't just ask her. no, he asked both of them. he asked her and bucky if they were okay if his friends stayed the night. the tears found their way to her waterline once more as she looked up at bucky, who had the same awestruck look on his face. something inside of him seemed to click as he looked down at the young boy in front of the two. hunter had asked bucky and lily. the two of them. as a pair. she smiled softly and bit on her knuckle, before turning back to bucky again.

        "what do you say bucky," lily grinned, "you okay if hunter has some friends stay the night?"

        "sure buddy, why not."

-----

       a few hours later, when most of the kids had cleared out and the parents alongside them, lily finally let out a relieved breath. bucky, rose, and her were clearing the paper plates and wiping up the messes from the syrup and cleaning the wrapping paper. hunter, luke, and finn were bustling upstairs in the young boys room, no doubt playing with all of his collectable items. lily stood herself up straight and smiled softly, looking around at the slightly messy living room. chuckling gently, she shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose.

        "they're twelve, why do their parents need to come?" lily laughed, picking up a wine glass jill had used, "I understand the tour part but for dinner? god, some parents." she sighed, walking to the kitchen and putting it in the dishwasher.

        "I think most of them just wanted to hear if the rumours were true," rose commented, collecting the last piece of wrapping paper, "if you were dating the one and only winter soldier." she teased, bumping her shoulder against the broad man.

        "as embarrassing as that is," bucky jousted back, "I'm with rose on this one, doll." he agreed, tying the black garbage bag.

        "about time you learned that I am always right, barnes." rose chuckled, stretching her arms back, "alright I'm heading upstairs. keep it down tonight, I have an early meeting tomorrow."

        the moment rose's door shut as she walked up the stairs, bucky's arms found themselves wrapped around lily's waist. his lips pressed to the corner of her jaw, eliciting a giggle to escape from the same place. shaking her head, lily shimmied from his grip to finish cleaning up the counter. only to find herself reattached to his chest. leaning her head back onto his shoulder, lily cocked an eyebrow up at him, wondering what he was getting at.

        "do you remember our first kiss?" he whispered, "we were right here. the night of the party. you had made us coffee. we were looking at the picture of you right after giving birth." he cooed, hand splaying across her stomach, "that's the most beautiful picture of you I have ever seen." he continued, fingers drawing small circles on her lower stomach.

        lily remembered that night so vividly. both because of the events that had lead up to it, but also because of the way he kissed her. so gentle and soft, how it lingered after. the pressure becoming a familiar pleasure to her in the weeks to ensue. it was a night to remember, that was for sure. in more way than one. the morning after may have become her favourite memory to revisit somedays. seeing bucky pouring cereal at the table for a sleepy hunter. engrossed in their own conversations before lily had come down. she wished she could have frozen that moment and lived in it forever. but she knew better now, because those events were all the product of her parents own misfortunes and her son being in a spot of danger.

         "alexa, play songs from the fourties." his voice cooed, eliciting an agreement from the machine. soft swing music played through the kitchen and lily shook her head.

        "were you this much of a charmer back then as well,  james?" she teased, spinning around in his arms and placing her own around his neck.

        "much more of a player," he admitted, swaying gently to the music, "steve says I was a real lady killer. I think I was just trying to find the perfect fit." bucky whispered, leaning his forehead down onto lily's, "I had short hair back then too."

        "oh I know. we learned about you in our history books," she chuckled, gazing into his deep eyes, "you were a real heart throb for a while in my class."

        "yeah? what'd you think of the short hair, doll?" he purred, ghosting his lips against hers.

       reaching her hand upwards, and tangling her supple fingers in the strands of dark hair, she smiled, "I like it long. but I did have a massive crush on you with short hair." she admitted, swaying her hips along with the music.

        "well lucky for you," he chuckled, "I have a haircut tomorrow. now I know what I'm going to do with it." bucky winked, sliding his arms away from her waist, "I'll see you upstairs, doll."

        lily stood breathless as she watched bucky turn and walk up the stairs, sending her a quick wink before disappearing around the corner into her bedroom. her chest heaved up and down as the music continued to play faintly in the background. mostly all she could hear was the pounding of her own heart playing a melody in her ears. blood pumping like madness as she tried to digest the idea of her being able to see him with short hair in real life. it excited her. but what mostly left her gasping for air, was the way his hand ran along her lower stomach. rubbing gentle circles as they talked about her pregnancy and the possibility of a family.

        he wanted a family. with her.

       stopping the music, lily collected her thoughts. okay, yeah so she was now in a relationship with him. a serious, adult, relationship. something she had hid herself away from for years. yet she couldn't escape him. and the idea of kids...well lily's heart skipped a beat. she'd love to have more, but she was slightly scared with hunter. it had always been the two of them, and she was worried if even bucky was pushing it. but then she remembered the moment from earlier, when he had asked both of them for permission. bucky was slowly but surely taking that father like role that hunter had been missing. that kindness and similarities that lily couldn't necessarily make up for.

       letting out a breath, she walked up the stairs and beckoned joey to follow. just as she went to open her bedroom door, she heard faint voices seeping through hunters door. biting her lip, she tip toed towards the white wooden entrance and leaned her ear up against it softly.

       "mr. barnes is so cool." luke's voice rang as she listened in. a smile creeping onto her lips.

       "yeah!" finn's voice chimed in, "is he like your step-dad or something?"

       lily's breath caught in her throat. this could go two very different ways. and she was terrified it would go the way that would result in the end of whatever her and bucky had. if hunter didn't like bucky, or didn't think of him in that way, lily would have read the entire situation wrong. meaning she would have to completely rethink her choices.

      "not really. he's like a father figure though," hunter responded, "more than my dad was. plus he also makes my mom happy. we get along well and yeah...I guess I sort of see him like a step dad now that I say it out loud," he continued. and lily felt her entire world become complete at his words. "dude did you just crap yourself?"

       dropping her head, lily let out a gentle laugh before turning and walking back towards her own room. opening the door, she saw bucky laying under the covers with the tv on, watching some documentary about who knows what. changing into her pyjama shorts and a loose shirt, lily washed her face and let her hair down before climbing under the soft covers and turning towards bucky. a surge of confidence rang through her. when he caught her eyes though...

        well she just couldn't help herself.

       she just prayed she stayed quiet enough for rose not to razz her about it.