#← trying out a new personal tag
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last day of work and i’ll be free for about 2 months. thinking a lot about dragon age and rook and i’ve decided on human mage to keep my theme going ( hero of ferelden - warrior, hawke - warrior, inquisitor - mage ) she’s also going to be a grey warden because i am obsessed with them and their lil outfits.
#⚔️.txt#← trying out a new personal tag#dragon age brain rot#oc: velora cousland#oc: elaria hawke#oc: aloria trevelyan
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we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.
"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."
i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.
you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"
i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.
what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.
i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.
"don't make a big deal about this," you said.
this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.
"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.
you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."
the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.
afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."
#spilled ink#writeblr#i'm trying to write about this really specific and wierd new experience#that i think is specific to the internet generation#where people you trust can just... say whatever??? and while most people are trustworthy#sometimes they'll just like... put ur shit out there????#and the thing is that sometimes it's GOOD - i want you to tell ppl if ur partner is being cruel!!!!!#i want u to be like ''hey is it normal if xyz happens'' ... but stuff like ''she's afraid of the dark''#PARTICULARLY when it's CLEARLY making fun of me....#what is the point of that.#this is huge and complicated and happens outside of romantic relationships too btw#like someone u thought of as a friend will be like . oh did u know she's scared of heights and it's like.#girl why are u fuckin doing that tho?#it's not a SECRET i just ...???????????????????????#and i think that gross feeling of like -- ''i can't REALLY be upset bc there's not a TRUE RULE about this....''#it's just not something talked about. bc it's so specific and yet so complex#bc how could i say like '' this is a violation of trust'' when it... technically I GUESS isn't????????????#idk maybe im just like super sensitive but please tell me in the comments/tags/etc if this is#something u have experienced (a trusted person like spreading ur shit) and if u were cool with it
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apple season
#my art#tloz#a link to the past#someone close to my school has a rly big apple tree they invite ppl to come in and pick from and I'm already making grabby hands#link#zelda#I was trying to work on my consistency in terms of designs and stuff way back when but like I can't see those csp files rn so rip#they get to have new outfits that's just whatever I thought was fun to draw at the moment thumbs up emoji#I have not actually read the manga but I am taking the orchard I want it too#with a couple way big trees it's what happens when ur out travelling I guess idk idk I'm a cringe city person#Blabbering in tags is So back
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Happy 2025, everyone! May the Arcane brainrot continue to live on 💙
#personal tag#i am currently on vacation and will sadly be extremely busy this coming 2026 but i'll still try to make things here and there <3#will prolly post something when its midnight where i live too haha#im so glad i was super chill and relatively free when s2 came out LOL#thank you to everyone who has continued to support reblog and like my silly lil gifs! may arcane live in our heads rent free!!!!#(even if the show has officially ended haha)#here's hoping for a couple of spin offs!#this show will forever be my favorite show and will always be special to me <3#i hope the love will continue so i can keep making gifs! 💙 have a great new year everyone!
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Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.
(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4)
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan wangji#Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU#I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track)#The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more.#I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by#and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles!#Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise!#I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space.#It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is#You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together:#I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper.#I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything.#You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there.#Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite.#day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less:#'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all)#This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly.#(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)
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this is the iconic dinosaur horror jurassic park wishes it was
#so there's this person on twitter who is like an infamous drama starter and got a whole forum shut down once#and they wrote this (different) book that's one of the greatest so bad it's good things i've ever read#a few great things that happen in that:#characters get in a car crash and flee on foot. later it's casually mentioned one character had both her legs amputated 'due to fractures'#the character pretending to be american by wearing maga hats that have spy gear built into them#the spy gear in question is an alarm that blares if someone lies in their vicinity#'stuff protocol ' said the queen. 'i'm getting hammered tonight'#the chapter where the prime minister is trying to watch the news so she keeps wandering into bars and tv shops and getting kicked out#the dragon that's casually described as 'about the size of 1000 elephants'#the dragon that's a 'dog dragon hybrid with a chihuahua body and a giant dragon head'#the dragon that's owner punched it in the face and only lets people approach if they 'do the iconic royal wave'#the characters being described as 'the short one' 'the guy with the beard' etc#but there being a lengthy detailed description of the characters in harry potter#'apparently a dragon had burnt essex to cinders in a matter of minutes'#anyways i found out they also wrote (a political parody of indiana jones???) for this book of kids short stories years ago#and you know. we needed to know#so it took me like 4 months to track this precious lost media down#which was very worth it because it turns out it's full of many other iconic gems like CELLAR HELL by Elizabeth Elgie (12)#talking tag
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it's cool if I ramble about yes man unprompted right. ofc it is. i wanna talk about his capacity for violence bc I think it's one of the most interesting parts of his character
yes man is nice. obviously he's nice. but yes man is not a kind character. he helps you, sure, but that's mostly just because he likes you specifically (and even that's debatable depending on how you play). i feel like this is exemplified w his pre-combat lines– "a pulled trigger's a happy trigger!" and "woo! bang bang!" like, he's clearly having fun! he takes glee in killing people, but not because he's sadistic, but because he just doesn't realize the weight of taking a life- or if he does, it just doesn't matter to him.
he was programmed without a sense of morality or an understanding of mortality. to him, violence is second nature. to him, violence is no different from play. he's like a guard dog– he doesn't care who he's shooting or why, he's just excited to do the thing he's good at.
and on one hand, he is a fantastic guard dog. but on the other hand, six must watch how... efficiently he kills, and wonder if they'll ever wind up on the receiving end of it. he wouldn't do it as long as he likes six, of course, but... if yes man was given good enough reason to believe six deserved to die, would he even hesitate? would their history and relationship mean anything to him? or would six just be another target, forgotten about as quickly as a radroach you stepped on?
six can only hope they never need to find out.
#juno.txt#fnv#fallout#fallout new vegas#yes man#ym#courier six#six#also on a more selfship level. part of what yes man likes about six is their ability to be violent despite being so small and fragile#i think on some level his eagerness to kill in their name is him trying to impress them#but ofc when courier 'no problem that can't be solved with words' six finds out abt that they dont take it well#this is all during the game's events ofc. by the end of the game ym comes to understand six's ideology better#and despite being a literal murder machine begins to believe maybe he has it in him to be gentle too#plus the assertiveness upgrade kinda prevents the whole 'what if someone comvinces him to kill me' thing#but like. post game ym can be whatever you want him to be i like analyzing the flawed mid game one#no moral backbone means you can't exactly call ym a bad person but you certainly cant call him a good person#six spends a lot of their early relationship a little scared of and a lot distrustful of yes man bc they genuinely cant tell-#what's going on in his head or if anything he says is the truth#anyway not to ramble even more in the tags lol
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in the 2P takeover, alfred struggling to retain some level of consciousness while allen puppeteers him backfires in the end, as it only really allows him to be personally present for matthew's (permanent!) death at his own hands.
anyway i'm representing this through a discord meme redraw.
#hws america#hws canada#hetalia#2p hetalia#na bros#alfred going NO NO NO NO as allen goes LOL LOL LOL LOL#it's kind of like a battle between the two americas. whose brother gets to live? (hint: not alfred's!)#it's traumatizing enough to alfred that he loses his grip on his body and allen is able to mentally overpower/suppress him permanently as w#it's only fitting that the NA twins go together. they do everything together after all#ic#meme redraw#reference#tf2#i guess...#just for my tagging system since it wont show up in main tags anyway 😁😁😁#1p mention#in case ur wondering... does canada go to new york.#of course he did. his brother asked him. and ame hasnt been feeling well lately...#canada is a good person (wanted to help ame) and america is a hero (wanted to fight off 2pame)#and that directly led to both of their horrific downfalls...#i mean. ame was dead from the second 2pame actually got hold of him. but he prolonged his death for so long trying to protect the others an#it just. didnt work out for him. in fact it might have just made things worse.#fun deets here:#america here is SO TENSE HES ABOUT TO EXPLODE bc . 2pame is trying sooo hard not to laugh and 1pame is TRYING TO scream and break through#2pame BAAAARELY has his grip on 1pame here... its like physically trying to restrain someone and its tough... esp someone like ame.#2p takeover au
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When Mac came out it was like moving a peg to the other side of the board. How he thinks about gay people and how he thinks about straight people barely changed. Mac never used to feel shame or embarrassment, but now that he's mentally put himself into the Gay category, he is lesser. That's why he became (even more) subservient to others (Especially Dennis, who supposedly exemplifies a golden Heterosexuality.) Mac's under a self imposed dehumanization because of what he's been taught about queer people. He knows he can be gay, he knows(?) that god doesn't hate him for being gay. He's clearly addressed obvious and surface level homophobia, but he doesn't even realize that the entire foundation of how he understands his sexuality is rooted in gays being inherently inferior. So he is too.
#trying to wrestle with the line of spunky bossy little shit to pathetic wet-rag-like gay man#and ive discussed like. mack doesnt “know” who he is. but he does also#he just doest know that he knows. he doesnt have to erase his whole past just because he came out to fit into this new mold#like. he for sure was filling a role before coming out. obviously that wasnt “him” either#but who you srebis made up of your likes dislikes and life experiences#that doesn't go away after coming out. he still clearly has a personality but he represses it unconsciously#i think hes kinda coming out of it. but s17 will be interesting.#i really hope theyre thinking about this too...#mac mcdonald#iasip#its always sunny#specialtysacrifice og#i gotta make a tag for this shit#specialtysacrifice meta#mac meta
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hi and welcome to tdp callbacks that would actually send me
"if i am the king then you have to let me go"
"i'm corvus, i was specifically requested"
"i don't believe in locks"
"haha nice one callum, he deserves it"
"lady justice came to me in a dream"
"don't get yourself killed."
"strength isn't always about weapons"
"shhh, nobody likes a noisy mage"
"tell me she wasn't your world"
"you're just like your grandmother"
"she’s not my friend, she is my prisoner"
"rickety snickers"
"wasn’t the horse~"
"i am a storm dragon. i certainly hope it's working."
"in the name of love, you may perform acts so unforgivable… you will never forgive yourself."
"we could travel the countryside and try the seven cakes of xadia!"
"i am prepared to do anything to protect the king. anything. i hope you will understand"
"i guess it wouldn't be the first time i accidentally on purpose ruined a super rare magical artifact."
"don't do this. i will kill you" "probably"
"anyone know any adventuring songs?"
"we can find more practical uses for this one"
"well, i think about it like this, why see myself as chained down, when i can be chained up?" "i admire your tenacity"
"just the three of us"
"watch, he'll come back reciting an epic poem about his adventuring. he's probably late because he's stuck thinking of a rhyme for 'legendary heroics.'"
"the world just isn't ready for what we have. "
"i have been doing research!" "yes, i can see that"
"i do not understand girls"
"i thought you disapproved" "i disagree. but i stand by you anyway"
"you know what? in a few years, when you’re older, buddy, we’ll sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk about sandwiches."
"i would rather die a king, than live as a coward."
"edge-frazzled"
"soren is a doof but he's my doof!"
"it doesn't matter what happens to me. live or die, this dragon goes home."
"the kingdom of duren has been suffering from a terrible famine for nearly seven years. "
"you big dumb human."
"even if you were wearing the rarest legendary armor, forged by sunfire elves... super dead."
"fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me. fool me three times, back to you again." "that's not how it goes." "shame on you."
#“i thought you disapproved” “i disagree. but i stand by you anyway” is SO rayllum coded like the harrai parallels are PARALLELING#and the 'you keep calling it a monster' parallel between rayla and sarai#there's probably more that i've missed but also add more!!!#something about duren's famine for seven years and aaravos returning in seven years i dunno but theres something there#hear me out#“if i am the king then you have to let me go”#but ezran says it to runaan#the vision?#lacking a little but still!-#still waiting for the sandwiches conversation between ez and callum PLEASE#if we don't have callum try and promise rayla that they'll be fine and can “travel the countryside and try the seven cakes of xadia”#paralleling viren#i will riot#rayla and her self sacrificing BUT it comes back because of her nature and 'rayla is a hero' not because of the moonshadow culture#ezran lady justice truthers RISE#please i want the LORE#i keep making up my own this isn't good i'll get too attached and then canon will just muck it up#'strength isn't always about weapons' says ezran as he hoists a nuke onto his shoulder 'but it is right now'#my personal headcanon is that he uses a staff to fight - a like his mum and b because it's not a sword and like#he forged the crown SPECIFICALLY so it wasn't a sword#tdp musical episode when#like they could go full subspace rhapsody (from star trek strange new worlds)#OR like in she ra where they randomly had like a sea shanty battle?? and scorpia singing i'm a spy#in the same way they've had rayla singing the lullaby and the dark eyed sailor shanty with finnegrin#someone stop me spamming the tags#oh wait theyre my tags#nevermind :)))#the dragon prince#giveusthesaga#continuethesaga
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if you're an egotistical artist, you should use alt text.
hear me out. you want to show people your art, right? you want them to see the important details, the shit they should be blown away with... right? so they know how to compliment you and what they should be focusing on, no? and you want everyone to see it?
put a description in the alt text.
not just "my oc standing in front of a background" no get descriptive after you say that. focus on that shit you put in there. "a woman with beautiful eyes and an ornate hammer" better. what'd you spend three hours detailing? "wearing a shirt with an ornate lace pattern" better! what are you aiming for? "it looks like a classical portrait" THERE.
and having the alt text button means people who can see might click on it too. and then be like "wow i didn't notice half of these details". its true. happens to me pretty often. half the time they're like "this owns, omg, you guys should look at the alt text" because i did a good job describing it and there's details even they didn't catch until they read it and looked back over it.
if you like when people stroke the hell out of your ego and catch all the cool things in your art. and you want everyone to see your art. put some alt text on that thing. for serious.
#red rambles#plus then there are also people who go out of their way to try to mainly reblog art that has alt text and not undescribed images#great news about what they'll do with your art too if they see and like it.#idc about appeals to Human Kindness or whatever. im an egotistical fuckin person and this has inflated my ego because it works#if you also have an ego and you want that shit stroked then try putting stuff in the alt text#well. not stupid shit. put a joke in your alt text and people will (and should) get mad at you unless it's part of the way you describe the#image and it belongs there#save your JOKE jokes for the tags.#but like i draw comedy and a lot of my art is situational comedy so if you look closely there's stupid shit happening#and most people don't look closely. so they read the alt text. and they're like. huh. in the background someone's fucking up#a skateboard trick and the other character is taking a picture? huh? the painting on the wall is of one of those old roman dicks with wings#yes i will put any random detail i think is funny into an image. but no one scrutinizes that shit#UNTIL I PUT THE ALT TEXT IN. AND THEY READ IT. AND GO 'HOLY SHIT THATS HYSTERICAL'
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starbee comic,,, if u get the reference then u understand a pivotal part of how i see their dynamic



Bee x scream is like if that one rlly bubbly & makes herself seem ditzy and cute girl to everyone to have friends who'll dump her the moment they get a bf & she's probably on the spectrum but no one notices or cares to delve deeper into her bcs she's so 'cute' & smiles & masks to be liked ( bcs she doesnt want anyone to delve deeper into her personality & realize shes actually Not perfect miss lil daddys girl purity ring ) was forced to be stuck with The Bitchtm intimidating weird girl who's also undiagnosed but everyone knows there's Something with her & treated her differently in a way they Think is discreet but She Knows & no matter how hard she tries, everyone's gonna have this Undertone with her so she's just given up on trying to seem pleasant to everyone but still desperately wants to be loved & has a slight clue as to why ppl keep hating her even when she tries for them not to for once but still can't get an answer bcs her life sucks and diagnosis is expensive and she has no time and she's - omg why is this bitch (bee) making her notes all cute with big colorful fonts & organized by alphabetical shade marker collection haha she's so weird (<- is Also weird bcs hes starscream). im gonna ask to borrow one of her favorite markers (the baby blue one) and dry it out while she stares at me with big wet eyes trying to find a polite way to put 'im gonna kill you' in a sentence
#bee instantly introduces himself to a new person bcs hes thrilled at the idea of molding his own perfect image in#a clueless person's mind and purposefully hangs out with ppl who are worse off than him so he can focus#on helping their problems rather than focusing on his own & also it helps him feel like a Good Mech#bcs hes just SO NICE. RIGHT ?#meanwhile star instantly introduces himself as a powerful bitch rather than a helping hand#so ppl know to back tf off and respect order and if they dont respect order than at least theyll try not to hang around#but he also hangs around worse ppl to feel better abt himself except it's not a secret but what Is secret is how he#wishes he didnt always have to scare off nice ppl bcs hes sxared of breaking their sparks bcs it'll inevitably happen bcs hes Starscream#idk tho maybe im insane#bag u a bitch that say yepperooni#bumblebee#starscream#im like insane abt these two but like in an insane not quirky im so different way but like the wtf made u think that#way that i cant explain normally bcs im not normal abt them#starbee#transformers#maccadam#transformers idw#tf idw#need moots that love starbee like im not used to being in big fandoms.. im used to tightknit lil followers who all reblog the same 5 posts#bcs theyre all insane abt it & wanna have a conversation like i love funny tags over 100+ likes any day#pls dont be afraid to yap in tags comments or asks like i love yapp look at me I LOOOVEEE YAPPPP
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i think the craziest part of ice ado cancellation to me is like. i remember checking the yoi tag last year and was disappointed by just. the absolute flood of "i lost my passion for this show my inner yoi fan is going into hibernation until ice ado comes out" type posts, but just kinda shrugged and went on because hey, i kinda moved on to different fandoms too.
but than the cancellation news dropped and i check the tag and yeah. there's a lot of people expressing their disappointment and anger with mappa, but there's also so much new art, new posts of people expressing their love for the show and what we were so fortunate to have been given despite everything and i just.
can we promise to keep this fandom alive? to survive just like we did back in 2017-2019 when there was nothing new but the occasional official promo art or a stage play or even skygem's retirement au? older fandoms than us have survived for longer with their newest canon content being decades ago, surely we can all have fun rediscovering and continuing our love for this wonderful story of rediscovering and reinventing what the word love means, whether on the ice or off it.
#yuri on ice#maige's posts#wanted to make a somewhat more positive post for the tag#like yeah im mourning and angry. but that grief and anger comes from the genuine love i have for this anime#for the show who gave hope to a deeply closeted and uncertain 11yo me and for the show thats suddenly so much more relatable now to me#as a finally openly queer person whose abt to enter their 20's and try to discover what i want out of#love and life. i hold this show and its characters so so deeply in my heart and im using this news as an opportunity to finally express tha
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indeed my exact process once every 8 months or so
#I just thought today of a new way to format a 'profile' (like the descriptions of self that people use on friend meeting#apps and stuff) and how to organize the sections so that it seems such and such a way and oh what if there's links which click off#into branching paths so it's very acessible and there are two different forms depending on so on and so forth#and i was like 'um.. wow. amazing idea. this will be soooo aweseome and will definitely work' but then .. you know...self reflection#lol.. is this just like the millions of other iterations of a similar thing? No.. This Is Different ... Surely...#Though if I had a millionaire friend and a few people who do the type of coding you use for web design stuff and etc..#I could create the most elaborate detailed and amazing platonic friend seeking (and I guess you could also have 'dating' as an option#since that would draw in more of a crowd) website on the earth.. the new okcupid (back when okcupid didn't suckishly abandon their#whole format in hopes of trying to become just like tinder or whatever and they actually had like tons of info and percentages and#open answer questions and would list personality traits on a profile (like 'this person is more Open To New Expereinces than 65% of#other users' etc.). etc. etc. Oh what a beautiful thing I could craft for the detail freaks of the world.... Alas...#unfortunately we seem to be in an oversimplification era.. everything in short quick bites. everything on a tiny phone screen. etc.#marketing 'Introducing The Most Complicated Data Heavy Social Connection Site In The World' would not sell well I'd imagine gjhgjh#AANYWAY.. also no idea why the representation of me is in a turtle neck. what a bold fashion choice..#In another moment of self reflection.. the fact that in the first tag on this post I felt the need to define the word 'profile' just to be#specific as if people couldn't tell from context.. so clearly someone who finds filling out forms a 'fun afternoon activity' lol#the type of guy who finds psych evaluations and pop quizzes and making chore lists mostly enjoyable (< true)
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afternoon at the dorm sekai
#vocaloid#project sekai#prsk fa#hatsune miku#megurine luka#kagamine rin#kagamine len#art#fanart#morgart#<- new personal art tag. gonna try tag editing everything else soon#made up the dorm sekai as like. a personal sekai tbh.#bc sekais are for growth and i grew A Lot over college and im grateful for the safe environment it provided me#and the ppl i met and who have stuck by me#might post character stuff abt it eventually since i did flesh out character details for all 6#edit; added alt text! thank you for the reminder!
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for the ask game (3)
au where all robins develop a mental link after fighting some magical criminal of the week. what would they see in each other's minds? what secrets and repressed feelings do they discover? how would they deal with it?
for the ask game!
oooh, i love telepathic links that end up revealing secrets. especially with a family like the Batfam, who are usually so convinced they're good enough at reading each other to not have many secrets kept. so weird reveals are always fun
if i did this, i'd do DamiTim. just because of all the like, "deep dark feelings that are being hidden" for Robin shipping, DamiTim is the most fun for me. you expect DickTim or DickJay or JayTim, even DamiDick. but there's something that's so enjoyable about Damian having his feelings forcibly outted. not just to Tim, but to everyone. the way it'd be an active landmine none of them knowing what to say but all feeling each other's reactions. i honestly think Damian would try to punch somebody about it. (also, if you do a history of TImSteph where they've had sex, Damian would be directly linked to Steph's memories of how Tim was in bed, so that's fun as both something horrifying and enlightening just to screw with his feelings some more.) would they end up together? in my head probably, but it'd be weird and likely toxic bc how do you date someone you know inside out and know exactly what they think of all your flaws and what parts of you they obsess over. the answer is not very well but hey, the sex is good-
i think Jason *directly* feeling how everyone felt about his death would really rock him. he's heard all the apologies, but part of him isn't convinced there's truth to them. so to be crushed by Dick's *grief* over his death would be a come to jesus moment for him. but on the less fun flipside, you have him feeling how Dick feels about him *now*. because Dick doesn't really *like* Jason and deep down, sees Jason as a lost cause. that's his "deep dark secret". and Jason would feel and know that from the one person who he still wants to believe in him. i really do think Jason would have the Worst Time with all this, overwhelmed with everyone's intimate and complex feelings over his death. Jason is a very defensive person when it comes to his death and how reactionary he gets when other people make it about them, not him. so for Jason to have to constantly deal with that in his head, i truly do think he'd lash out a bit. the arguments. yelling at Dick and feeling Dick's guilt and snapping bc Dick has no right to feel guilty now. feeling that Tim viewed Jason as a failure. it's just a damaging mindspace to be in and man do i think Jason would take a While to recover.
oddly though, i think it'd be a good bonding moment for Steph and Jason. we really don't get much exploration of Steph and Jason bonding over dying. bc sure, Steph didn't actually die, but she *did* experience the social death where everyone believed she was dead and mourned her as such for a good while. she also felt *directly* responsible for her own death. a lot of blame falls on Steph for War Games (for the Doylist reasons of sexism but yk) and Jason feels responsible for his own death for walking into a trap. but unlike Jason, Steph had no suit in a case, no memorials, her name held no infamy. so i think she deserves just a bit of righteous fury about how dramatic Jason can be while she just has to move on bc hey, it's not like she *really* died. and she buries those feelings well, but not well enough to hide them from a mental link. and Jason, who hasn't really considered Steph before because he was so wrapped up in his complex over Tim, confronts those feelings with her. if anyone is going to know how he feels, it's going to be her. you could do it platonic or romantic, but i do think when Jason sinks to his lowest, she's the one who snaps him out of it, both with tough love and genuine compassion for his situation.
for the less serious crack of it all: they're all going to have far too intimate knowledge of each other's sex lives. everyone's gonna know Dick has fucked Slade. everyone's gonna know Jason has fucked Talia. in my heart, i believe Tim has slept with Anarky (Lonnie, not Ulysses) and everyone would *know* that too. absolute judgment all around. it's the spider-man meme of "wait you've done WHAT with WHO" and honestly, it gives a nice distraction for the more serious feelings. it's a palette cleanser they can default to. like when the fighting gets a little too serious and they're cutting too deep for comfort, someone's going to blurt out "well at least i didn't fuck Deathstroke." and the whole moment goes awry with laughter. bc i do think, at the end of it once they get through the worst of the angst, they'd be closer for it and self-aware of the ridiculous nature of all this. it's enlightening, in a way to see how they all felt about their time as Robin and the baggage/trauma they hold. even the ugliest feelings they hold for each other don't completely suffocate the fondness/respect.
that said, knowing the baggage/trauma. oof. i don't think Dick has ever fully opened up about his history with Mirage/Tarantula/Liu and now it's forced to sit in the open. Damian has never admitted the worst of being raised in the League. Tim hasn't fully faced the suffocating image of his dead father and his deep-seated want to kill Boomerang. all those ugly truths they stamp down bc well, either you're a vigilante or you're a well adjusted person, are out in the open now. and it's ugly and gruesome to force those thoughts to be shared. they all want to comfort each other for different reasons, while simultaneously not wanting their own trauma to be acknowledged. it'd be fun to see who'd instinctively react to whose trauma first. because it's an overwhelming rush of information, and you just naturally get pulled in certain directions. i think Damian would react to Dick's history of sexual abuse first, whereas Jason would be reacting to the murderous rage TIm is trying to fight off. Tim is reacting to just how much guilt Steph carries about War Games and all of it is very crunchy. there's so much they'd all have to talk about and it'd take days for them to address it all, between the arguments about the ugly parts. would they come out stronger for it? yes. but only if they didn't kill each other in the process. i hesitate to do a "and they come out one big happy family" ending, bc it's not very in canon, but i do think the bond of the Robin mantle is something special. even when the link is broken, they hold onto a freakish understanding of each other. they react and move in sync, can fight together without needing words. are they emotionally on the same page/have they forgiven each other for the worst of it? absolutely not. but they've got each other backs. it's a very much "if you called i'd drop everything to save you. but also we don't have it in us to hang out casually." bond, which i think is deeply underrated in fanfiction. sometimes, you can care about people but you have to do it from a distance.
#necrotic festerings#damitim#potential jaysteph#sladick#batcest#i actually really love this. i might try to write it.#like there are SO many complex interpersonal things happening and god it's good.#also writing this reminds me of tags you put on the post about batfamily fanon#where you said you shipped jaytalia noting how I critiqued it in the meta#and i never got to clarify but i do actually think jaytalia *could* be fun#it's just one of those ships that falls into the “i love the concept but i don't think i'd enjoy it in canon” category for me!#esp the way it was handled in lost days bc it dropped out of NOWHERE and felt ooc given talia's motivations#and i love shipping it but *only* using it for a “jason fucked damian's mom joke” always irks me bc. lord get new material yk#those are my thoughts on that anywya#this is so crunchy. forced mental links as a plot device. aways so good.#like the end result would be messy as fuck but in a loving way#the batfam can love each other fiercely without having sitcom movie night type moments yk#bc their bond isn't domestic it's shaped by their vigilante lives#they know each other as vigilantes first so like. they struggle to connect as normal ppl even if they love each other#and know each other that personally#it's nuanced. it's fun.
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