#← just there for a joke but it's there so.

[gunsatthaphan]

just bro banter 🤙🏻✌🏻

[frownyalfred]

Iconic Brucie Wayne Lines:

“It’s good luck to spill a little with martinis.” — said right before spilling his entire cosmo in Lex Luthor’s lap

“Can I take this for my son?” — said about anything, including crime scene evidence, but said so charmingly that 80% of people just let him take whatever he’s holding

“Sorry I’m on the Bluetooth.” — said while gesturing to an ear that definitely does not have an earpiece, usually mid-conversation at a party

“No yeah, they get walks every day.” — said about his kids, no one can ever 100% tell if he’s joking

[messymoonmad]

Since im not very normal when it comes to designing im always more efficient when i design straight up on an illustration so here goes the main suitors :

Antinous (lion🦁) : loud arrogant and imposing. Will laugh at your face and threaten you in cold blood.

Eurymachus (snake🐍): hypocrite manipulative conniving bitch. Will gaslight you with a kind smile. Hates mediocrity

Amphinomous (bear🐻) : he's the answer to choosing a man or a bear. Not inherently evil. He thinks the beggar is funny (not knowing its ody). He is just a guy who's easily influenced by his terrible friends.

(Credit to pinkcherry097 on instagram for the joke)

[lxvvie]

Simon who made himself your birthday present.

'Cause fuck it, nothing ventured, nothing gained, yeah?

It was actually a spur-of-the-moment thing, sweetheart. It was your birthday, he said happy birthday, you joked that you hadn't received your present yet, and Simon, smooth operator that he is not, responded with, "S'right here, luv."

Oh... shit.

Silence ensues. You blinked in surprise and Simon gave you an even stare. However, he was punching the fuck out of himself mentally because what the fook, Riley?! Didn't last long though because your surprise turned into interest and interest turned into... well...

...Simon naked, on your bed, and under you. Again. Bloody fuckin' hell, him and his mouth.

Not that he's complaining. Not really. Too busy fucking and sucking, and Christ, he's lost track of how much you used him, the things you did to him, the noises you pulled from him, and all the times he came; one thing's for certain, though, he won't forget you marking his thighs up (thank fuck for pants because his thighs are a fuckin' roadmap thanks to you) turning him into a Simon Sundae because you "wanted something sweet to eat", and just... goddamn, leaving him a sweaty, sticky, speechless, and well and truly fucked out mess.

Simon couldn't even smoke, he was so fucked out, but damn if it didn't feel good. Grumpy bastard would be riding this high for a bit. Not even Johnny and the rest of those fuckin' knobheads on base could bring him down. For long.

Simon finds himself the little spoon to your big spoon afterward; you're thanking him, running your hands over his sensitive body, kissing his temple, and praising him for holding on like the good soldier and slag that he is. Simon's fallen so fuckin' deep he's on his knees for you.

"We should do this more often."

A beat. Then he groans.

"Oh, fuck me..."

Simon felt your smirk against his skin. You didn't need to be told twice.

[luciluck2046]

My point still stands

Smash

W gloink queen being a great mom

[0nlyhere4phil]

okay so 1st PJ has Dan and Phil play as a married newspaper couple

THEN in oscars hotel he has their characters drawn like this

yall do you think PJ ships phan?

[abbyssgf]

𝐰𝐢𝐟𝐞!𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐚 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 | 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐬

• concept: You and Ran joked that you would be the perfect wife's Santa Claus and Sevika would be the Santa Claus. It was just a joke really but you didn't think your wife would like the idea and and it will really happen.

• words: 1,9k

• warnings: strap-on, dom!sevika & sub!reader, cursing, strap-on is called 'dick' and 'cock', santa-vika!!🤭, doggy style (r receiving), kind of dirty talk ig, pet names 'babe', 'darlin', 'sweetie', etc, using of 'babygirl', spanking, actually this whole fanfic is smut

• author note: well that's a Christmas fanfic! for people who celebrates Christmas, happy Christmas guys and for those who don't then enjoy your day and relax!💞💞 (and I didn't rereaded it so if there's any mistakes, i'm sorry)

It started with a funny, quick joke 'santa vika'. you and ran were joking about sevika dressed as Santa Claus and you dressed as her 'wife of Santa Claus' but you didn't really think that a joke could turn into a reality. 

Firstly Sevika didn't want to accept it, that she had to wear some stupid costume but as soon as she heard from you that you could dress up as 'wife of Santa Claus' in a pretty, red, revealing outfit she agreed. Oh, you knew your wifea little too much, you knew she would agree to this. 

Finally it was Christmas Day, you and sevika spent it together in your home with a cozy and warm embrace, you ate the meals you prepared and when the evening came you both were excited for what happened.

Right now you were cleaning dishes after your dinner and you felt those muscular, warm arms around your waist and lips on the back of your neck. You immediately knew it was Sevika.

"yeah, baby?" you asked as you were washing the dishes, Sevika placed another few kisses on your neck and she murmured into your neck "It's evening, sweetheart". After a while you understood what she meant and a smile came to your face but you wanted to tease her a little bit "yeah, and?" you asked as if you had forgotten about the plan you both made for today's evening. 

"you know what" Sevika grumbled into your neck and her hands squeezed your hips "Santa wants to see and open the presents, darling" Sevika said to you in a playfully tone, you giggled and her words. You turned off the tap and turned to meet your wife's gaze. You saw Sevika with her smirk on her face.

You leaned to give her a quick kiss on her lips and then you murmured to her "since Santa Claus is coming I have to prepare, yeah?" and you could feel how Sevika the pressure on your hips tightened. She didn't know what your second outfit for today looked like, let's say it was a little surprise from you to her. 

"Yeah" Sevika said with a grin on her face looking at you "go get ready, sweetie" Sevika murmured and gave your ass a quick spank, smirking while doing so. You just chuckle at that and you left her alone in the kitchen going to your bathroom. 

When you entered the bathroom you pulled out your hidden second outfit for today, It was a red short skirt with white fluff at the bottom, a red top that reached more or less to your tits and left your shoulders open, a red, see-through lace bra and you didn't have any underwear in this set - on purpose, just to surprise your wife.

you took off your clothes and put on this outfit, your hair was loose and your previous makeup remained, although you wouldn't be surprised if it was ruined tonight. you put on your Santa hat and left the bathroom. you went to your bedroom and your gaze immediately went to Sevika, she was sitting on your bed with a smirk on her face. She really did that. She was wearing her Santa Claus costume (without the beard 'cause how would she make out with you in that?) and the Santa hat she put on her head.

 She sat on your bed with her legs apart as if to say 'I'm waiting only for you, my love'. Lets say that Sevika wasn't even better than you, her gaze moved from your head to your feet over your figure, lingering on your attributes a little longer than she needed. "damn, baby" sevika said and your eyes locked up in a eye contact "you look fucking stunning and beautiful" she said to you and you smiled at her words. 

"you too, my santa-vika" you replied to her with a smile and she couldn't stop herself and she laugh at it "fuck, come here" sevika groaned and you with a smirk on your face walked up to her. Sevika didn't hold back and immediately pulled you into her lap, pressing your body against hers.

You wrap your arms around Sevika's neck and Sevika's hand wanders to grab your hips. You both leaned and your lips captured in a soft kiss but the longer you kissed, the more your kiss became hot, fast, tender and possessive. You moaned into Sevika's lips as her hand wandered under your skirt and she captured both of your buttchecks and squeezed them. 

Sevika broke the kiss to look at you with her eyebrow up as her hands were all over your butt "you don't have any underwear?" Sevika asked as she didn't feel any underwear under your skirt. You smiled and shrugged "Merry Christmas" you said in a playfully tone and Sevika gave you a spank and her eyes were nothing more than a mixture of desire and need.

"Fucking god, I love you" Sevika murmured and before you could respond to her, she captured your lips in a wet, hot kiss dominating your mouth. She was sloppy, her tongue pushed down your throat tasting you and she dominated your mouth while her hands roamed your body. 

Her lips went down to your neck and she started to suck at your neck and it made you moan. She left a few hickeys on your neck, claiming you as her and she started to pilling your red top. "Take this off" Sevika murmured, you lifted your arms up and she took off your red top and it wasn't long after that when her hands wandered to your bra and she took it off just as quickly, throwing it on the floor.

Sevika's lips meet with your chest and she licks one of your breasts and then she wraps her mouth around your nipple. A moan left from your lips and you tugged your wife by her hairs "vika" you whimpered. Sevika smirked as she ran her tongue over your nipple. She left your nipple with a pop only to move her mouth to your other nipple and start sucking on it.

After a moment her lips left your nipple, with a smirk she looked up into your eyes "were you a good girl this year, baby?" Sevika asked you and you playfully rolled your eyes. "I guess that I was" you replied to her, Sevika hummed and she leaned closer to your ear "yeah? if that 's so, I'll have to reward you, won't I?" Sevika murmured into your ear with her low, sexy voice and you moaned at it. Sevika smirk widened at your moan and her hand squeezed your hips. "I take it as a yes, darling"

"Take off my pants" Sevika said to you and you got off her lap and you raked off her red, Santa Claus pants. When you took off her pants, you saw a strap-on,sinewy, thick, 7 inches long and it had the color of her skin. "you like it, baby?" Sevika asked you and you nodded "yeah, very much" you replied to her. 

As you stand Sevika wrapped her muscular arms around you and threw you on the bed so that she was behind you and you were lying on your stomach. "Ass up, pretty" sevika murmured to you with a grin on her face. She placed her hands on your hips and helped you to lift your hips up so your butt was up. 

Sevika groaned at the sight of you, on your knees in front of her with your ass up while being in your pretty, little red skirt "god damn" sevika cursed under her breath. She gave you a smack on your butt and she squeezed it, "Sevika-" you whined.

Sevika leaned closer to you, so her chest was pressed to your back and her mouth was close to your ear. "since you've been a good girl this years, I'm gonna reward you" Sevika started to talk as her hand grabbed her strap-on and wrapped her hand around it "with my cock" Sevika added and her voice lowed "and you'll gonna take it like the good girl you are" she finished and you could feel how the warm feeling moved over your body and you moaned, clutching with your hands at the blankets beneath you. 

"y-yes" you whined to your wife, you suddenly felt a sudden cold as Sevika lifted herself up in a straight position. Her gaze moved over you again, admiring the sight of you in front of her, one more time. 

Sevika placed a silicone cock in front of your hole "I hope you're ready" Sevika said to you and without hesitation she slipped the strap into your clit. You moaned at the feeling and squeezed a pillow that was close to you "fuck, fuck" you moaned as you adjusted to the size of Sevika's cock. 

After a few moments Sevika started to move her hips back and forth, pulling the strap into you in a slow motion. but it wasn't that long until she started to move faster and the strap-on was kissing your sweet spot.

Every time Sevika pounded into you, moans leaving your mouth, your hands squeezed the bedsheet under you. "you're doing so good, baby" Sevika groaned as she was digging into you. you moaned at her words and you rolled your eyes back.

 "it's-…so, so good, s-sev!" you moaned and you tightened even more your hands on the sheets as sevika started to move even her hips faster wanting to make you come. "I know, you're taking my cock so well" Sevika said to you and a moan left her mouth as her eyes were locked at your half-naked body in the red skirt. She gave your ass a quick spank, you whimpered at it and she placed her hands again on your hips, holding them tightly as she pounded into you.  

"vika" you moaned your wife's name as the feeling of your upcoming orgasm started to push you even harder and the "i'm close" you whimpered and sevika didn't stop her movements. she grinned at your words "you gonna cum on my dick, baby?" Sevika murmured to you and her gaze fell down where your bodies were merged and the strap-on was in you. you groaned as Sevika squeezed your hips 

in the next few thrusts your climax hit you and you moaned loudly as you came, arching your back and your thighs quivering. soon after, sevika also reached her peak of pleasure, cumming with you, and slowly slowed her thrusts into you. soon sevika stopped moving her hips and the two of you were silent as you both caught your breath coming down from the high. 

sevika leaned towards you and wrapped her arms around you, she placed a few gentle kisses on your shoulder and her upper part of the Santa Claus costume covered you a little. her silhouette and clothing gave you a little warmth. you sighed softly and you closed your eyes, coming down from the pleasure. "I love you" Sevika said to you in a soft voice and she placed another kiss but this time on the back of your neck, you smiled gently at her words "I love you too" you responded to her, happily being in her embrace.

• taglist: @abbyslvrrr @noacinno @nytloq @l0vel3tterl0ver @pizzabbs @dvrkhcld @sannyangel89 @moondient

[lovermake]

SITTING ON HER LAP !

synopsis : sitting on your gf’s lap to help her mend a wound that she received from one of her late night fights, turns into some heated dry humping !

content warnings : NSFW 18+ ( viewer discretion advised ), wlw content, men do not interact, dry humping, teasing, pet names, mostly praise <3

It’s not uncommon to find yourself always stitching together Vi’s wounds, and having to help her heal any other bruises, cuts she received. You always try to remind her to be careful and not overwork yourself, but as long as you aren’t hurt or anything, she’ll keep on being reckless. Which is what you find yourself doing, early in the morning, resting in her lap and gently applying ointment to a cut.

She hisses, nails digging into your waist, until you finally close the wound with one last snitch. You plant a kiss on her lips and are ready to take off, getting ready for your own list of tasks to do, but one kiss isn’t enough for your girlfriend. It never is. She’ll kiss you again, a bit harder, where her tongue teases your bottom lip. And once you give in, the kisses are all so passionate and sloppy.

You find that your hips move on their own, gently nudging and grinding against hers, and she smirks into a kiss when she sees how desperate you have grown. You whimper into her mouth, as she pulls you closer. “A bit too early for this, huh, cupcake?”

“You started it” you argued, but she positions herself just enough, so that her thigh presses against your clit and makes you whimper. She doesn’t deny nor acknowledge your argument, but just watches you grind yourself against her pants, kissing her sloppily and moaning into her mouth as you do.

The cute thing about you is that you struggle to multitask, growing all too focused on grinding yourself against her, that you break away kisses to whimper and moan. So while your head is pulled back, it gives her perfect time gently slide a hand under your shirt, which will only make you yelp, at the feel of her cold hands.

Next thing you know your shirt will have fallen onto the ground, and she’s kissing at your breasts, to make up for the lost of kisses from your lips. Sucking at your nipples, leaving small marks on your chest. She adores every last bit of it.

She’s sucking hard at your breasts now, and you’re practically melting in her arms. Your nails running in her hair, and you feel yourself getting close. Another whimper leaves your throat and she can tell you’re almost there. She can’t help but lower her hand down to your ass and gently spank you there for encouragement.

“Oh fuck!” Are the last words to leave your lips before you find yourself squirting all over her thigh. Your head resting onto her shoulder, gasping for air.

“Seems you had fun” you hear her whisper, as she begins to rise, picking you up with her. You whisper back almost an inaudible “fuck you” and she contemplates on making a joke based off that but decides to remain quiet for once. “Let’s get you cleaned.”

[syrupbitee]

THIS IS NOT ABOUT ZOSAN I DO NOT LIKE ZOSAN I DO NOT EVEN LIKE SANJI 😭🙏 IS THIS HOW JESUS FELT TELLING ROMANS THEY WERE WRONG

sanji's first days in the crew

[anomaliex]

Whenever Lou (as Fabian...or as Pinnochio) gets both positively or negatively excited he grabs at his friends (especially Ally lol) so I like to think Fabian does that too.

Whatever it is he's gonna grab someone's shoulder and shake or jump or something, especially with Kristen. I think he and Kristen actively start shoving each other. He uses the same amount of force on Gorgug but it barely moves him, so with them it's more Fabian hanging onto him and Gorgug shifting his weight around to entertain him. Fig isn't as strong as the other two but she's three times as enthusiastic so she and Fabian for sure grab each other and jump around. She happily body checks him. It never ends well for her and she keeps doing it.

Riz is too small (and weak. -2 strength is no joke he's NOT wrestle-able) so I think he picks him up and excitedly shakes or squeezes. Riz canonically does not mind being picked up by his friends so I think he fully just doesn't acknowledge it. It gets to the point where Riz just continues giving a serious report with a straight face while his pathetic bestie is holding him in his arms and squeezing him like a very big stress ball. He's also a little less rowdy with Adaine purely because his battlemaster brain goes "shit wizard don't shove the wizard" but he does pick her up and spin her around for sure (like their players in the quangle I just remembered :D)

[thepriceofsurvival]

I’m sorry but the codependency between Cat, Laila and Jeremy is so odd to me. Like the fact that Jeremy told Cat and Laila about Jean being assaulted at Evermore during his freshman year without his say-so?

And Jeremy was so wrong for getting Kevin to confess something that could cost him his life and then not telling him Cat and Laila was in the room? Like WHY. Why are you incapable of keeping a single secret to the point you betray people’s trust like that. Jeremy I love you but what the fuck.

[mywritersmind]

THE FAT MAN IN THE RED - LN4

summary : Lando Norris promised two hours of his night to wave to little ballerinas and have them whisper their wishes to him in a Santa costume. His night starts looking up when a woman his age lands on his lap.

listen up : no warnings tbh! suggestive jokes SORRY ITS SO SHORT I WAS GONNA WRITE A LOT BUT ITS ALREADY CHRISTMAS TO HAVE THIS

words : 692

⋆｡‧˚⋆

“Oh please! Come meet Santa!” My little sister Mari tugs on my hand. She’s in a little pink tutu and a slick back bun, her ballet shoes have been changed into her usual converse.

We’re at an after party/fundraiser for her ballet show, the kids were all surprised by a man dressed as santa. She was adorable, a tiny Clara!

Mari skips off with her friends as I turn to mine. Kat downs her drink, “I need another one. Too many kids around.” I laugh and clink her already empty champagne glass.

We walk off to the bar, looking up at the giant chandelier and sprawling stairways. This theater is beautiful, kids in costumes and glitter run around while the society of Monaco gossips and laughs in their presence.

We grab more champagne, smoothing out my dark plum dress and almost twisting an ankle with these silver heels my sister begged me to wear.

“Y/n!” Mari yells, hopping up and down, in line to meet the big man himself. Or… a knock off.

“Oh my.” Kat elbows me, “I’d let him slip down my chimney-” I scoff loudly and laugh, hitting her arm.

“What about that french boy you met?” I raise a brow, my eyes lingering on the man whose face is partially covered by a white wig and beard.

“Oh I see him.” She winks as I giggle, “Come on then, you must meet this cute santa!” I groan as she drags me to the back of the line, “I’ve heard whispers… he’s twenty six.” She whispers as I watch two F1 drivers walk past us.

“I am not sitting on his lap!” I laugh, shaking my head and sipping my drink, Kat grips my arm and pulls me to the front next to Mari.

“What are you asking for?” Mari asks me, clapping her little hands together and tapping her feet.

Her friends touches my dress, “This is so pretty!”

“I heard he’s famous.” One of the ballerinas behind us says just as I get pushed onto the little stand and an elf guides me.

He looks at me, all dressed up and in a whole fat suit. I can’t help but laugh as I get helped onto his lap. I honestly feel horribly awkward, “Sorry… my friend made me.”

His eyes are green, the kind of striking color that stops your thoughts. He tugs down his fake beard, exposing his face and smile.

A very attractive face and smile. “Don’t worry. Are you gonna make me do the voice?” He's got freckles and an accent.

I smile softly, “There’s a voice?”

“What are you asking for this christmas?” He says it in a deep santa like voice.

I laugh, “That’s good.”

“Why thank you…” I raise a brow at his trailing off, “I need a name to match the pretty face, and for the address of your gifts, I suppose.”

Oh he’s a flirt. “Y/n.” I nod, “You gonna make me call you santa?” His fingers brush the side of my hip.

“I’m not that into role playing…” He shakes his head and I spot a tiny dark curl by his ear, “Okay the elf’s are about to get mad. What would you like for Christmas, Y/n?”

He says my name, looking me dead in the eye. Shit I think I might be attracted to Santa.

I bite my lip, “How about, what time Santa gets off?”

His smile shifts into a smirk, “Christmas came early, I guess. Ten.”

He meets me in an empty hallway, Its almost hard to tell if it’s him because of his change in clothes.

He's in a black suit, bowtie and everything. He’s far more agreeable without the white hair.

In fact, the white is replaced with real curls. Dark curls cut into a nice mullet that suits his face. It was in fact a fat suit that I can now clearly see was horribly fake.

I have a sneaking suspicion that tonight is going to be extra interesting now. His hands go to his pockets, that smile on display again for me. “I’m Lando.”

[clovermoters]

santa, doesn’t know you like i do

ln4 x reader

summary: lando is meeting your extended relatives for the first time, when a harsh comment brings him to a panic attack, your quick to help him.

warnings: panic attack, kisses, hardly proofread or edited and probably some grammar errors

a/n: here’s my day late christmas fic that i wrote half asleep, enjoy beautifuls 💗

you stood in the mudroom of your london apartment carefully applying your new lip product lando had bought you as one of your many christmas gifts.

Lando appears behind you, looking sickeningly handsome in a dress shirt and pants. his hands find your waist as he rests his head on your shoulder, his signature smile on his face as he watches you work your magic.

“you ready?” you ask the boy. he dips his head to place feather light kisses on your neck before snuggling deeper into the nape of your neck. he replies a muffled “not really” before he moves to shove his feet into his air forces.

he holds your coat out to assist you, placing a light peck on your lips once you’re ready to brave the snowy outdoors.

Lando drove you two to your family home, his nerves practically radiating off of him. He had met your parents multiple times before but today he’d get to meet your grandparents and extended relatives.

“Lando, everything’s going to be fine, they’ll love you.” you take his hand in yours. He sighs as he slightly plays with your fingers on your lap while focusing on the road ahead.

“What if they don’t though?” he argued. shooting a worried look at you. you give him an ‘are you kidding me’ look.

“I don't think they can physically hate you, just be yourself and they will adore you, just like I do!” you stretch across the centre console to place a kiss on his cheek.

you pull into the driveway of your childhood home, the christmas lights your dad had hung since you were small still decorating the roof nicely. lando kills the ignition, taking a moment to breathe.

he is so fucking nervous.

you had briefed him slightly this morning, warning him of your relatives being slightly traditional, worried that they wouldn’t understand what lando does and how he’s perfectly capable of providing for the two of you.

and treating you like a princess.

“Alright, let’s go make our entrance” you chime, walking towards the door holding your family favourite casserole and Lando juggles 5 gifts in his hands.

you ring the doorbell, shooting lando a soft smile while he gives you his excitement-nervous smile before the door opens revealing your mother.

“oh don’t you two look adorable!” your mother said smiling wide and rushing to bring you two into a hug. your father close behind her prompting to free up your hands and take your coats.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖⋆ ˚❆

while you exchange your hellos around the house, lando shadows you. his hand interlocked with yours refusing to part even when you hug your relatives. you and lando make your way around the house, introducing lando as you go.

Your aunts and uncles adore him, your cousins fanboy over him and don’t let you walk away until each and every one of them gets a picture with lando. the more people lando met the more outgoing he became. The boy was showing the playful, silly side you saw daily.

“socializing is going smoothly!” Lando jokes. you chuckle while leading him over to your grandfather.

“Grandpa, this is my boyfriend Lando,” Lando offers his hand to shake with him “pleasure to meet you, sir” he added.

your grandfather eyes him while they shake hands. you can tell the man is thinking, and you begin to worry about what he will say next. knowing the man, it won’t be something nice.

“So Lando, what do you do for a living?” the older man asks. jumping straight into the hard questions. Lando stands up a little straighter before replying.

“uh- i drive in formula 1, sir. for mclaren.” you softly squeeze his arm linked with yours, reassuring him of your presence.

“oh, you’re the guy who choked the championship aren’t you?” your grandfather said attempting to innocently tease lando. The man laughs and while Lando joins in the laughter, you can feel him tense up.

you swiftly move on to the rest of your extended relatives, lando slowly began to fall behind you again, regressing back to the shell of shyness from earlier in the evening.

you could sense something was wrong when you noticed how quickly he was zoning out.

He was fidgeting with your fingers while you held a conversation with your aunts who were keen to learn everything about your time spent in monaco. You tried your best to include Lando in the conversation but the boy was too focused on the floor to properly listen to what your aunt had to say.

You excused yourself and Lando, dragging him upstairs into the bathroom to give the two of you some privacy.

“Are you okay?” you ask softly. Lando sits on the edge of the bathtub putting his head in his hands.

He doesn't answer you right away, you stand in front of him, giving him a moment to collect his thoughts.

You silently watch him as his breathing picks up, he lifts his head and the moment his eyes connect with yours, you swear you can hear your heart shatter. His eyes are filled with tears that are threatening to spill onto his face.

You're on his level in a split second, taking his face in your hands. “baby, hey what's wrong?” you push, his breathing is rapid and uneven as he attempts to get the words out.

You wrap your arms around him “shh, it's okay, im here.” you rub circles into his back letting him take a moment.

After a few minutes, Lando's breathing slowed, he wiped his tears with his shirt while you handed him a glass of water.

You were no stranger to Lando having panic attacks, the recent season resulted in Lando suffering from multiple.

You knew what he needed and right now he just needed you to sit with him until he managed to calm himself down enough to communicate to you what he's feeling.

He looks up at you with tearful eyes “your grandfather's words really hit me, and it was just over from there.” he explains. If your heart already wasn't shattered, someone just stomped on it.

“Oh baby” you sigh, gently rubbing his tear stained cheeks. Lando leans into the touch, letting it ground him.

“Don't listen to him, he’s an ass who doesn't understand how your world works. He would just turn the tv on during Sundays and not actually take in anything he is watching” lando chuckles at that, you smile, thankful he's able to laugh.

“You are amazing, and you achieved so much this year. It is the world's fault that they aren't able to see all you accomplished this year and look to the future and see that you are going to kill it next year-”

he cuts you off by pulling you into a kiss, his lips moving in sync with yours as he gently cups your face. His tongue swipes against your bottom lip, asking for access which you happily grant. Your tongues battle each other as the kiss becomes more heated. Lando softly groans into your mouth as you softly bite his lip.

Before the two of you could go past messily making out in your parents bathroom, the sound of your mother announcing dinner is served forces you to pull apart. Lando has a goofy smile on his face while he fixes your hair.

“Thank you, i love you” he whispers before cheekliy placing one last kiss to your lips. “I love you too” you repeat before turning to head down to dinner.

Before you can open the door Lando softly grabs your waist and spins you to face him again. His eyes fall to your lips immediately and just when you think he's about to lean in, his thumb reaches up and softly swipes across your chin.

“You’ve got some lipstick smudged, love.” he teases before waltzing past you as you whip around towards the mirror, quickly fixing your lipstick while he watches you from the door.

Once your makeup looks perfect again, the two of you make your way back to the function, falling into simple conversations over christmas dinner. You watched lando come back to life, simply adoring the way he interacted with your family members.

.𖥔 ݁ ˖⋆ ˚❆

you silently watched from the side as he was in-depth explaining to your aunt how the steering wheel of a car worked, when your small cousin ran up behind him and tapped him on the back.

the boy whips around with a smile plastered on his face “hey lily!” lando crouched down to the girl who was bouncing on the balls of her feet.

“hi lando! i just wanted to say i really liked your race in singapore” she said, lando couldn’t help but smile. he was slightly shocked your cousin had even watched his races.

“oh thank you!” Lando leans in slightly, “Tell you what, maybe I can sneak some passes for you and your family at silverstone?” Lando whispers in a mock secrecy, the younger girl gasps.

“So we'd get to see you race?” she asked excitedly. Lando smiled wider, “would you like that?” the girl nodded profusely before speaking

“yes please! your racing is so cool and you are so cool i want to try karting but my dad said i can't until i turn seven.” she pouts slightly and Lando chuckles.

“I just wanna be like you” she adds with a frown and Lando feels his heart swell in his chest. you had told him that your little cousins looked up to him, but hearing it come from one of their tiny mouths, landos worries from before fade into memories.

you were helping your mother finish the dishes while the house slowly emptied out. lando wraps his arms around your waist while he watches you clean the silverware from over your shoulder.

“your cousins love me.” he says smugly. you giggle softly at him before turning in his arms, “they do love you, i’ve had many phone calls asking if they could talk to you. you’ve replaced me as the role model.”

your hands find comfort in his curls, smiling up at him before he places a quick peck to your cheek.

“c’mon, let’s go home” he takes your hands and you both make your way to the car. As you drove home, Lando replayed the events of tonight in his head, he looked over at you sleeping silently against the cool car window.

realizing he can’t please everybody, he needs to focus on loving the people who do support him and look up to him. he smiled at the thought, turning back to the road as the light turned green.

maybe christmas at your parents wasn’t so bad after all.

tbh this is so bad but whateves MERRY CHRISTMASSSSS and happy holidays to all who celebrates 🤍

[yanderenightmare]

Can you write more for naoya zenin? Your writting is soo good omg, i was thinking about ex husband naoya

Naoya Zenin

♡ TW: toxic relationship, toxic family, arranged marriage, obsessiveness, possessiveness, denied divorce, abuse, kidnapping

♡ FEM reader

Ex-husband Naoya, who refuses to sign the papers as there’s no such thing as divorce in the Zenin clan—who says it’s shameful and that you should know better than to think you can just walk away from him just like that.

Ex-husband Naoya, who is very clear about it—how if you leave, it will be with nothing to your name—nothing but the clothes on your back, and barely even that—because everything you have is owned by him—and the only reason he’s ever been willing to share it is because you’ve paid for it in his bed.

Ex-husband Naoya, who can’t believe it when you leave him anyway—who’s certain he’s coming home to a dutiful wife, all silly ideas put to rest, sweetly apologetic for ever having raised the thought—but instead comes home to a quiet, cold, and empty house—divorce papers the only trace you’ve left behind.

Ex-husband Naoya, who immediately has the Zenin clan shun your clan and makes sure all other clans do the same, completely cutting you off—telling your clan leaders that until they deliver on their side of their alliance and have you return to your rightful place, their clan is to be held in contempt.

Your family begs you to go back to him, to stop this rebellion you’re so childishly insisting on. Your father even commands you, but you’re done taking orders from men—and their brainwashed wives. You don’t owe them anything—they’re the ones who sold you off to that misogynistic madman in the first place. Serves them right to suffer the way you have.

And so, you go off on your own. 

But with his resources, ex-husband Naoya’s always able to find you—and make your life hell. Any job you manage to get fires you only a few weeks later for reasons unknown—encouraged by a silent donation—and realtors will suddenly tell you that the apartment you’ve been interested in is off the market.

Ex-husband Naoya, who comes to collect you from the woman’s shelter you’ve taken refuge at, fed-up and beyond ready to put an end to whatever it is you think you’re up to.

“I don’t have any more time for this nonsense of yours,” he says— patronizing tone making him look ugly and nothing like the great man he thinks he is. “You’re out of money, and you’re out of places to run. Come with me now, and I will still allow you a gracious return.” 

Ex-husband Naoya, who really must be the most entitled man in the world.

“Make me waste any more time, and I’ll—”

“Fuck your gracious return,” you cut him off, continuing with a sneer, “Only way I’m going anywhere with you is kicking and screaming. Now get the fuck out before I call security and have you arrested.”

Ex-husband Naoya, who looks at you as if you’ve gone mad, then proceeds to feel driven insane himself—laughing at your threat like it was all a really funny joke.

“I’ve been lenient enough with you, humoring this little rebellion of yours, allowing you to come home on your own,” he says, his voice whispy with breath, just shy of unhinged—then dead and cold come his next words, “But I see now… I’ve been too indulgent.” 

Ex-husband Naoya, who meant it when he said he was done playing games.

Ex-husband Naoya, who doesn’t have an issue with your kicking and screaming.

♡ NAOYA ZENIN masterlist ♡ JUJUTSU KAISEN masterlist

[ariestrxsh]

❆ content warning: smut, use of toys, oral (f! & m!receiving), masturbation, cheating (kinda), getting caught, praise/degradation, voyeurism/exhibitionism, cuckold behavior, unprotected sex, threesome (ish), bf!chris, pervy!matt, gf!reader

❆ summary: chris buys you a dildo for christmas, and his brother matt, who has always had a thing for you stumbles upon you using it

Merry Chrattmas! 🤍 Sorry it's a little late. Inspired/requested by this ask.

Voyeur

"Alright, which one of you bought a sex toy?" Matt laughed after tearing open the package that had been left on the doorstep that morning without even bothering to look at the name of the recipient. He was holding up a glass dildo for the whole house to see. Nick's eyebrows flew up and his jaw dropped as his gaze meandered over to Chris from across the room.

"Give me that, asshole! What are you doing opening mail that isn't yours? What if it had been a gift for you?" Chris snarked, ripping the box and the toy out of Matt's hand. "Then I would have kindly asked you to return it," Matt chuckled, poking Chris in the side. Chris rolled his eyes.

"It's for my girlfriend, okay? Don't let her know that you've seen it, because she'd be really embarrassed," Chris responded, blushing. "I bet she'll look so good using it," Matt smirked, his imagination running wild.

It was no secret that Matt had always found you attractive. Everyone knew it. Chris knew it, Nick knew it, and even you knew it, but you'd oftentimes joke around, even to Matt's face, that you were a loyal Chris girl and that nothing could ever sway you.

Of course, Matt took this as a challenge and caused him to pine after you even more. You'd never admit to it, but you did secretly like the attention your boyfriend's brother gave you.

"Too bad you'll never know," Chris rolled his eyes at his brother's out-of-pocket comment and rushed off to his room to wrap the gift in private along with the pink Fresh Love hoodie he'd designed for you. He included a card in the gift that read:

"I hope you wear this hoodie and think of me the next time you get off without me. Merry Christmas, baby. I love you. Xoxo, Chris."

He scribbled in a poorly drawn heart at the bottom of the card. He swathed the box in gift wrap, tying a sparkly, pink bow around it and placing it under the tree.

It was only a few days later that you went over to your boyfriend's house to spend the night, and luckily, Nick was out for the evening, and Matt was on his way out, so the two of you were going to have the house to yourselves. It was the perfect opportunity for Chris to give you your present.

"You're going to love the gift my brother got you. It's gonna make you scream," Matt whispered into your ear and winked as he was getting ready to walk out the door. You rolled your eyes and scoffed at him, but your curiosity was sparked.

After he left, you and Chris sat in front of the fireplace in the glow of the burning wood and twinkling Christmas lights that were strewn around the tree. The scent of the sugar cookie candle that was burning down to the wick wafted through the air. Chris delicately placed the neatly-wrapped gift in your hand.

"I know it's not Christmas yet," Chris said with a warm smile, knowing you were the type of person who liked to wait until Christmas morning to open your gifts. You smiled back at him, fiddling with the pretty ribbon wrapped around it. "But?" You asked, waiting for him to finish his sentence.

"It's the kind of gift I want you to open alone," Chris responded, nervously biting his lip. You wrinkled your nose at him. Open alone? Too bad Matt knew what it was for whatever reason, you thought to yourself. You weren't sure where he was going with this, but that made it even harder to resist tearing open the gift.

"I'll make an exception. Just for you," you rolled your eyes in an endearing manner and began to tear off the wrap, revealing an unmarked box beneath the paper. You slowly removed the lid, and you gasped at the Fresh Love hoodie that was neatly folded on top.

It was your favorite color, and you clutched it close to your chest and gave your boyfriend an exhilarated smile. "Chris, I love it!" You glanced back down into the box where a card lay on top of some sparkly tissue paper. He'd made it himself, which made it that much more special. Blood rushed to your cheeks as you read the card aloud.

"Chris, what else is in here?" You wondered as you started rifling through the box. Your eyes widened and your jaw dropped as you examined the glass toy, and you picked it up by the pink heart-shaped handle. "Chris.. it's so pretty," you whispered.

"Not as pretty as you using it, though, I'm sure," he gave you a cheeky grin and nudged you. "I don't know how. You should show me," you gave him a fake pout and batted your eyelashes at him. You did know how to use it, but you wanted Chris to be the first one to use it on you.

"Take off your clothes," he lustfully whispered as you handed off the dildo to him, a smirk playing in the corner of your lip. You pulled off your sweater, revealing that you had nothing on underneath, and you took down the waistband of your pajama pants and your underwear.

"Fuck, you're already wet," Chris noticed aloud as you slowly spread open your legs, his fingertips lightly grazing your skin. He leaned down and started trailing kisses up your inner thighs while you gently combed through his hair with your fingers as he neared your heat.

He licked a long stripe up your slit, subtly flicking his tongue across your clit once he got to it. He placed your toy at your entrance and slowly pushed it in. You squealed and clamped your legs down around Chris' head as you stretched around the glass dildo.

He began to gently fuck you with it, listening to the pretty sounds that fell from your lips as you threw your head back. You gripped his hair, tugging on it as he picked up the pace of his tongue, quickly flitting it over your bundle of nerves. He closed his lips down around it, humming against your clit, your legs shaking at the sensation.

The dildo didn't feel quite as good as having sex with Chris, but it was good enough that you knew it would satisfy you the next time you were turned on and missing him. He worked the toy in and out of you at a gradually quickening pace, and your hips started to move in unison with it.

"Chris, you're amazing," you breathlessly purred, and he chuckled with your pussy in his mouth. He could tell you were getting close. He didn't fluctuate, his motions remaining constant while his pretty blue eyes flicked up to meet yours. You rested your hand on the back of his head, encouraging him to keep eating you as your whole body started to tremble.

"Yes.. please.. just like that.. mmm.. gonna cum," you said in a series of broken moans. You felt yourself squeezing around the toy the same way your thighs were squeezing around Chris' ears, and before you knew it, you were coming undone at the seams.

The pressure that had spent so much time building in your core finally reached its breaking point. You bucked your hips, riding the toy and grinding against Chris' face as you finished. Your broken moans turned to fervent whimpers, and your whimpers turned to desperate screams, just like Matt had predicted. Your eyes wandered towards the back of your head.

Chris didn't take his gaze off you. He loved making you feel good, and he relished in the way your body reacted to orgasm. He thrust the toy in and out of you and licked your sensitive button until you were completely finished and pushing his head away.

"Oh my god," you said, trying to catch your breath and recover from the intensity of your climax. Chris came up for air, his lips and chin glistening in your fluids. "That was so hot," he said in a low, sexy voice. You took the toy from him and leaned in to kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue as the two of you passionately made out.

"You're so good at giving," you told him. "Gifts, I mean." The two of you laughed at your play on words. You both spent the rest of the night watching Christmas movies cuddled up on the couch with mugs of hot cocoa while the fire burned through the rest of the wood.

You and Chris eventually found your way to his bedroom where the two of you fell asleep in each other's arms tangled in the sheets. The warmth of his body wrapped around you and the comforting feeling of his hot breath on your neck was the last thing you remembered before you drifted off...

You awoke the next morning to Chris shifting around on the bed, and after you rubbed your eyes, you realized he was getting dressed to go somewhere. "Where are you going?" You asked in your sleepy voice.

"I'm going to go pick us up coffee and bagels. Just keep sleeping like a little angel, and I'll be back soon. I love you," Chris whispered, leaning down to kiss you and ruffle your hair.

You were hoping to sneak in a little early morning sex with him, but he was already putting his shoes on, and you figured you could just use the new toy he bought you while he was gone. "I love you, too," you responded in a sweet voice.

You watched him from your foggy window, flakes of snow starting to slowly fall from the sky. Your face lit up, excited that you were going to get your White Christmas after all. Chris blew you a kiss before he got into his car and sped off.

You sauntered over to the pretty box that held your gifts. You changed into the pink Fresh Love hoodie Chris had designed for you, and you twirled around in front of his big mirror, admiring how perfectly it fit you.

You reached for the phallic-shaped glass and held it in your hands, contemplating whether to wait until Chris got back or to use it. You decided on the latter, unable to contain yourself any longer.

While Chris was still out getting the two of you breakfast, Matt wandered in through the front door. He set his keys down, let out a sigh, and started off down the hall, completely unaware of what he was about to stumble upon.

He walked past Chris' room, but some movement out of the corner of his eyes caused him to stop dead in his tracks and take a couple steps back. He was surprised to find you there, considering he didn't think anyone was home.

What surprised him even more was what you were doing. You were laying on your back on Chris' bed in nothing but your pink hoodie, legs spread, and your pussy wrapped around the toy he'd accidentally opened in the mail a couple days earlier.

You were so enthralled with what you were doing that you didn't even hear him come in or see him as he leaned up against your door frame with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. He raised an eyebrow as he studied the view, wetting his lips. It was everything he hoped it would be.

Your facial expressions were steeped in desire, ethereal moans rolling off your tongue, and your cunt stretching around the toy as you worked it back and forth. He immediately grew hard, watching you and imagining it was his cock pumping in and out of you.

Your eyes flickered up, realizing he was in the room with you. You gasped and shut your legs, holding the toy still inside of you as you clenched around it. "Please. Don't stop," Matt begged, reaching for the bulge in his pants and gently running his hand over it. "Keep going. Please. I just wanna watch," he softly begged.

It was so hard to see him stroke himself through his sweatpants and not do the same. You knew it was wrong to be feeling this way about your boyfriend's brother, but you felt your stomach drop as your eyes landed on the outline of his hard cock and before you knew it, you were spreading your legs back open and continuing to fuck yourself with your dildo.

"Does that feel good?" He asked you, and you timidly nodded at him with your bottom lip caught between your teeth. He walked forward a few feet, coming around to the side of the bed to watch you more closely. He reached out and lightly brushed your cheek with the back of his hand.

"We shouldn't be doing this," you quietly told him, but you couldn't help the way you relaxed into his touch as he caressed your face. "It's not like I'm fucking you," Matt smirked, and as he said it, your mind was immediately filled with ideas about what it would be like to get fucked by him.

Matt brushed his thumb against your bottom lip and gently pushed it into your mouth. You accepted it and started lightly sucking on it while Matt reached into his sweats and pulled out his pretty cock. You were shocked at how similar it looked to Chris', and it made it even easier for you to justify to yourself that you weren't technically doing anything wrong.

You sped up the toy thrusting into you as Matt continued to poke and prod your mouth with his fingers while he fervently jerked off at eye-level with you. "Good girl," Matt whispered as he ran his other thumb over his tip, coaxing a shiny fluid to leak from it. You sped up the pace as you watched him.

You knew the two of you were crossing a line, but you couldn't help yourself. Matt was too busy watching your toy glide in and out of your hole, and you were too busy watching Matt fist his cock that neither one of you saw Chris standing in the doorway with bagels and coffee as he stumbled upon the two of you and the way you were each hungrily looking at one another.

"Oh yeah? So I'm out getting you breakfast and you're using the toy I got you in front of my brother?" He scoffed, breaking the two of you out of your trance and making each of you jump.

He expected this from Matt, but he was shocked to see this kind of behavior from you. Matt pulled his thumb out from between your lips, and you each brought your movements to a standstill.

The longer Chris fixed his eyes on the scene in front of him, the more he found himself getting turned on by you playing with yourself in front of his brother. "Don't let me stop you. At least let me enjoy the show," Chris said, setting down the bagels and coffee on his dresser as he made his way to the foot of the bed and sat down.

You and Matt were dumbfounded, wondering if this was some kind of test. You halfway expected Chris to get angry, break up with you, or even physically fight his own brother. Yet, he was calm, and he seemed like he might have even liked it.

"Come on. Keep going," Chris demanded, and after a moment of hesitation, you continued to pump your toy into your drooling hole. Matt stuck his pointer finger into your mouth, and you started lightly sucking on it. A soft sigh left Matt's lips as he imagined you sucking on a different appendage, and he went back to stroking his pretty cock.

As if Chris could read Matt's thoughts, he flicked his gaze over at you, "Why don't you help him out?" He asked, a smirk playing in the corner of his mouth. You nodded and then looked back over at Matt who was putting his dick in your face that was silently begging to be sucked on.

You accepted him, wrapping your lips around his thickness as he started rocking his hips back and forth. He emitted a moan and his hand flew up to tangle itself in your hair. "Good girl," he softly purred, grabbing onto a fistful of your locks and pushing it further into your mouth.

He wasn't sure how far Chris would let him go with it, but he figured he'd test the boundaries until either one of you told him he was taking it too far. His other hand wandered between your legs. He started rubbing your clit, eliciting a moan from you that reverberated against his cock, leaving him with a lovely sensation.

"You're such a shameless little slut, aren't you? Letting my brother touch you in front of me as if I'm not your boyfriend?" Chris snarked at you, but you could tell by the luscious tone of his voice and the way he was stroking himself through his pants that he was getting off on what he saw.

"Come on, Matt. Fuck her pretty little face. She can take it. I promise," Chris encouraged him. He tightened his grip on your hair and did as Chris told him, jerking his hips forward triggering your gag reflex.

Matt continued drawing circles on your clit with the pad of his fingers as he stared into your watering eyes. His cock twitched against the back of your throat as he listened to the sound of you choking on him.

"Good girl. You take it so well. I wish I could fuck you," Matt purred. You moaned against Matt's length at the idea of him plowing you while your boyfriend watched. Chris was still gently rubbing his tip through the fabric of his pants as he watched the way you and Matt interacted with another.

"Merry Christmas, Matt. You can do whatever you want to her," Chris told him, getting harder and harder as his eyes flickered back and forth between the two of you. Matt's eyes twinkled as those words left Chris' lips.

"Oh, don't tell me that. I won't be able to control myself," Matt smirked, pulling his dick out from behind your lips with a pop. Matt grabbed the handle of your toy and slowly removed it from you and placed it on your nightstand.

"Go crazy. Can't you see how bad the little slut wants it?" Chris asked, staring down at the fucked out expression on your face and your pussy that was clenching around nothing.

Matt positioned himself between your legs, the tip of his cock teasing your hole. "You want it, don't you? You like the idea of getting fucked in front of your boyfriend?" Matt chuckled, breaching your entrance and beginning to gently rock his hips back and forth with only the first few inches of him inside you.

You slowly nodded, screwing your eyes shut as your jaw dropped at the change in sensation of Matt replacing your toy with his throbbing phallus. With every thrust, he pushed it in a little deeper until he was completely bottomed out inside of you, hitting the perfect spot.

The sounds of each of your moans dragging out and becoming louder as Matt pumped away. He placed your legs on his shoulders, fucking you harder and faster as you felt the pressure in your core building and building.

He pushed up your pink hoodie, revealing your perfect tits to him, and he gently squeezed one as he admired them. "Fuck, look at these," Matt whispered, pinching your nipple between the pads of his fingers, eliciting a soft mewl from you.

You could see Chris out of the corner of your eye moving towards you and coming around to the side of the bed. He took your hand in his and started caressing the back of it with his thumb. "Is he making you feel good?" He whispered into your ear before kissing your forehead. "Mhmm," you hummed delightfully.

It was always a fantasy of his to watch you get fucked by someone else, and although this wasn't exactly how he pictured it, he figured he couldn't let the opportunity go to waste.

"You take it like a little slut, you know that?" Chris cooed in your ear before latching onto your neck. You nodded, relishing in the way he spoke to you and the way his lips felt as he sucked on your sensitive flesh.

Matt loved the way it felt to be inside of you. He'd been fantasizing about it forever. He'd never admit it, but he'd stayed awake many nights, ear pressed up against Chris' door with his hand in his pants, listening to the sound of you getting fucked. He'd memorized the way your sweet little moans would slowly morph into seductive screams every time Chris would bring you to orgasm.

Now he was the reason pleasured noises were cascading from your lips, and he couldn't get enough. He knew you were getting close. "Oh, that's it," Matt grunted as he threw his head back, feeling you squeeze around his cock.

"Are you gonna cum for my brother?" Chris purred in your ear, recognizing the way your body was reacting and knowing you were about to finish. You looked into Chris' eyes and slowly nodded as the knot in your stomach came unraveled, your pussy rhythmically clenching around him.

"Good girl," Matt breathlessly whispered, pounding into you as hard as he could. Your pleasure reached a crescendo, and you heard a ringing in your ears and a strong buzzing throughout your body as you came undone on Matt's cock.

You couldn't see or think straight. All you could feel was an intense surge of pleasure followed by a wave of calmness washing over you as Matt's dick started to throb inside of you. He pulled out at the last second, painting your stomach in his load and pumping his cock back and forth with his fist until he had milked himself dry.

His eyes rolled back in his head, and his moans filled the room as he finished all over you. "Oh my god," he breathlessly whimpered, wiping beads of sweat from his forehead. Chris' eyes followed the mess he made, his cock jerking at the sight.

"Hey, Matt. Just letting you know, this was a one-time thing, and if you're not out of here by the time I come to my senses, I might fucking kill you," Chris said sternly. Matt nodded, quickly pulling himself to his feet and tucking himself back into his pants before darting out of the room.

"Loyal Chris girl, huh?" Chris snarked at you, using your own words against you. "Chris.." you started to say, expecting him to get angry with you next. "It's okay. I'm not mad at you. I'm not mad at Matt either. I just wanted to see him run away like a little bitch," he told you, his lips curling into a devious smile.

"I actually really liked watching you two together," he admitted, biting his lip. Your eyebrows flew up in a look of surprise. You could tell he liked it, but you didn't think he'd confess to it. "Come on. Your coffee's probably cold by now."

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[thesinisteramulet]

i have to be honest dude. first and foremost im tacky as hell like LITERALLYYYYY did mort pick the ugliest necklace xe owned just to spite me or what 💀😭

It's not a NECKLACE it's an AMULET ok it's a WIZARD thing IM MASC IM MASC IM MASC