#“you're going to be angry all the time and its going to negatively affect your mental health”

[hdawg1995]

Remember guys, your friends are cool with you raging against CEOs and corporations as long as it isn't when you speak out against generative AI! Then you're the problem and can't take a joke!

[buccini555]

𝐓𝐨𝐤𝐲𝐨 𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬: 𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬

·˚ ༘ ┊͙Them finding out that you were already in a relationship with one of their friends after he flirted with you !  ˊˎ

⤌H e a d c a n o n s !⤛

. . ⇢ 𝑭𝒕. Mitsuya Takashi, Chifuyu Matsuno, Manjiro Sano, Rindou Haitani and Ran Haitani ˎˊ˗

𝐌𝐢𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐲𝐚 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢

Mitsuya's calmness is almost envy-inducing, despite this, the boy is easily irritated, not being the type of guy who lets situations go unnoticed before his eyes.

Mitsuya would be totally jealous to see anyone flirting with you, but the jealousy definitely affected him when he discovered your past relationship with that friend of his, making him even more uncomfortable with those flirtations, despite this fact and all this feeling, Mitsuya knew the past remained in the past, making him ignore everything in a way when he calmed down.

"You have questionable tastes when choosing who you have a relationship with, I'm sorry to tell you that." He would say trying to pretend custom, Mitsuya would make sure his friend never flirted with you again.

𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐲𝐮 𝐌𝐚𝐭𝐬𝐮𝐧𝐨

Chifuyu is sweet, he avoids showing any negative feelings, but when something bothers him, Matsuno doesn't mind being a little rude sometimes.

"I think the time for you to flirt with her is over, don't you think?" He would say to his friend in front of him in a calm and at the same time threatening tone, Chifuyu became even more jealous when he found out about the relationship left in the past, making a point of making the fact that he had lost you very clear.

He wouldn't be disappointed in you or anything like that, Chifuyu knew how to leave the past in its place, besides, it wasn't a friendship he took so seriously, ending up giving preference to you and ignoring the whole situation to avoid totally unnecessary discussions.

𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨

As much as it may not seem like it, Manjiro can be somewhat possessive and jealous when it suits him, seeing someone flirting with you made him deeply irritated, even more so when it was someone he was close to.

After discovering through an affair that you and that friend of his had already had a relationship in the past, Manjiro immediately became jealous.

"Um? You and him? Ewww!" He would say, dissatisfied with the situation, Manjiro didn't seem to be serious, but he was somewhat angry about this past.

"Good thing you're mine now, aren't you? Say, you're just mine." Manjiro would make you say what he wanted until he was satisfied with your speech.

𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢

"Have you already been with him? You have a bit of questionable personal taste, don't you? I believe I'm the only exception." Rindou would say ironically about such a discovery, he would be jealous, however, he would just pretend to be accustomed, certainly using this fact to bother you from time to time with unfunny jokes.

He would be uncomfortable seeing you together after finding out about your past and he would also be impatient when he heard anyone flirting with you.

Rindou wouldn't mind to a certain extent, as he always made a point of showing everyone who you belong to, despite being the type who doesn't give a shit, the younger Haitani doesn't mind treating certain matters seriously, for that reason , he would not allow any more advances from his friend.

𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢

Ran is certainly not the type of guy who hides his jealousy when something really bothers him, despite not seeming to care about what happens around him, Haitani pays attention to every behavior and actions of the people who are by his side.

He would be uncomfortable seeing his friend flirting with you and would become even more jealous when he found out that you had been in a relationship in the past.

"First of all, ew! What did you see in this guy? I know he's my "friend" but I'm sure I'm much better." Ran would say mockingly, somewhat disbelieving the fact that you had already had a relationship with that person.

Ran would no longer allow flirting or anything like that, now, you belonged only to him and he made a point of making that very clear, he didn't care that much about his friendships, for that reason, in a way, Ran would give you priority.

[bonefall]

post/734733274896809984/do-you-ever-worry-your-own-writing-might-come-off that makes sense. i was asking because i'm afraid of accidentally writing misogyny myself and i kind of admire what you do

Hmm... I wish I had better advice to give you on this front, but honestly, the only thing I can tell you is to consider the perspective of your female characters.

Women are people. They have thoughts and feelings of their own, so like... just let them have their own arcs. A lot of the worst misogyny in WC comes from the way that the writers just don't care about their girls (or, in the case of tall shadow, actually get undermined and forced to rewrite entire chapters), so they're not curious about their lives, or WHY they feel the way they do or what they want, or any direction for their character arcs.

Turtle Tail as an example. She'll often just end up feeling whatever Gray Wing's plot demands. She's gotta leave when Storm dumps him to make him feel lonely. She shows up again to love him in the next book. Lets her best friend Bumble get dragged back to Tom the Wifebeater, but is sad enough about her death to be "unreasonably angry" with Clear Sky, and then calms down and accept Gray Wing is right all along.

And then she dies, so he can have his very own fridge wife.

In this way, Turtle Tail's just being used to tell Gray Wing's story. They're not interested in why she would turn on Bumble, or god forbid any lingering negative feelings for how she didn't help her, or even resentment towards Clear Sky for killing her or Gray Wing for jumping to his defense. She isn't really going through her own character arc.

She does have personality traits of her own, don't misunderstand my criticism, but as a character she revolves around Gray Wing.

So, zoom out every now and then, and just ask yourself; "Whose story is being told by what I wrote? Do my female characters have goals, wants, and agency, or are they just supporting men? How do their choices impact the narrative?"

But that's already kinda assuming that you already have characters like Turtle Tail who DO have personalities and potential of their own. Here's some super simple and practical advice that helped me;

Tally the genders in your cast. How many are boys, how many are girls, how many are others?

And take stock of how many of those characters are just in the supporting cast, and compare that to the amount you have in the main cast.

If you have a significant imbalance, ESPECIALLY in the main cast, fire the Woman Beam.

It's a really simple trick to just write a male character, and then change its gender while keeping it the same. I promise women are really not fundamentally different from men lmao. You can consider how your in-universe gender roles affect them later, if you'd like, but when you're just starting to wean yourself off a "boy bias" this trick works like a charm.

Also you're not allowed to change the body type of any girl you Woman Beam because I said so. PLEASE allow your girls to have muscles, or be fat, or be old, or have lots of scars. Do NOT do what a cowardly Triple A studio does, where the women all have the same cute or sexy face and curvy body while they're standing next to dwarves, robots, and a gorilla.

Or this shit,

If you do this I will GET you. If you're ever possessed by the dark urge, you will see my face appear in the clouds like Mufasa himself to guide you away from the path of evil.

Anyway, you get better at just making characters girls to begin with as time goes on and you practice it. It's really not as big of a deal as your brain might think it is.

Take a legitimate interest in female characters and try not to disproportionately hit them with parental/romance plots as opposed to the male cast, and you'll be fine. Don't think of them as "SPECIAL WOMEN CHARACTERS" just make a character and then let her be a girl, occasionally checking your tally and doing some critical thinking about their use in the story.

(Also remember I'm not a professional or anything, I'm just trying to give advice)

[marshmallowprotection]

I would like to tell you something. I am a person who loves Saeran very much, as well as his route and after finishing, I feel quite satisfied that I helped him to get his happy ending. I just want to protect him and tell him every day how much I love and admire him. However, there was a moment when my love for him broke, I don't know how to say it, I couldn't love him like I used to, it felt so weird and painful.... Do you know why? 5 months ago I wanted to play his route again and when Suit Saeran arrived with his insults and everything.... Specifically in the scene where he grabs my shoulders and says he's capable of killing me something in me snapped.... And it's the strangest thing that ever happened to me! I had played the route several times before and although his words hurt me at the time they didn't affect me as much as they did 5 months ago. I couldn't stop hearing his insults in my head; that I'm worthless, that I'm dumb, stupid, that I annoy him, that he hates me, etc. I felt really bad. When I was with GE Saeran and he was treating me sweetly a part of my brain was telling me that he was lying to me, that he doesn't really love me and that as soon as I turn around he will hurt me :'(

I seriously had a really hard time during those 5 months, I just wanted to imagine cute scenarios with him but I always came back to see Suit yelling at me and ruining everything. I came to the conclusion that I was too scared of him (I was scared to be scared of him! I love him so much).

I understood everything that was happening to him and I sincerely forgave him.

All this made me question many things: did I really forgive him? do I love him? does Saeran love me?

I tried to solve it: playing the route, watching fanarts, reading fanfics and your blog of course! everything that would help me to love Saeran like before and it didn't work....

So I had no choice but to give myself some time, yes, I had to stay away from Saeran for a while to see if I could calm down and get those negative thoughts out. I tried to do other things, think about other things.... I wanted to take some time for myself and understand myself.

Fortunately, about a week ago I started thinking about Saeran again. And guess what! All the fear I had of him vanished, I was happy again in my imagination with him! It was like finding peace. I know it all started with Suit Saeran and yes, it's completely valid to think that what he did to me was very wrong but I forgive him because I understand him and I want him to know that I love him as much as I love Ray. I rewatched the story mode when he asks for my forgiveness and all that fear I had for him went away and now I'm happy.

I wanted to tell you that haha and know what you think about it. I also want to tell you that I love your blog and I'm glad to read everything you tell about Saeran in all its versions. I hope you too continue to love him as much as I do. Take care!

I think it's perfectly justifiable to go through what you went through. You're allowed to be angry and upset with him about all the things that happened. He understands if you are upset with him and if you need time to come to terms with everything that happened.

If you want nothing to do with him, he would understand it 100%. He wouldn't push the subject or make you feel like you need to forgive him. He makes it clear when he apologizes to you that you don't need to accept his apology. He holds himself accountable and he promises to make things right. But, you don't have to forgive him immediately. You don't have to click that option if you don't feel ready.

I think that might be a healthy response for most people. He doesn't expect you to forgive him. He certainly doesn't forgive himself. He's going to be carrying what he did on his back for a long time. It isn’t until GE Saeran confronts his demons that he can forgive himself for what happened with Suit Saeran. It takes confronting the very things that brought him to be so angry in the first place for him to forgive himself after you have decided to forgive him. 

You needed time and energy to be able to confront all of your feelings about it. That is only natural. You needed time to come to terms with all of it. It makes sense. I'm glad that you were able to take some time away from him to think about why it made you scared and what you needed to think about to be able to be comfortable with him again.

I'm glad that you have him as a comfort character and that you have been able to make peace with the conflicts that happened. 

Saeran loves you. You should never ever doubt that. That fact will always remain unchanging until the end of time. He will love you anew just like every season. That's what his Love Song speaks to. It is a love that will only continue to grow every time the seasons come and go. 

[one-abuse-survivor]

Hi can you be mad at someone whos going through a hard time? My dad is a jerk to my mum a lot, and shes already gone through a lot in life, like a lot a lot, but shes also abused me and can get really mad with me and just be mean. its confusing inside cos its like i dont like her, but i just feel so much guilt for that because she has no one left and the one guy she loves is a jerk and idk it just makes my stomach flip lol. today she bought us all popeyes, cost a lot too haha, but my dad flat out refused to try it. was so mad at my mum for buying him chicken cos he apparently suddenly hates it, and got really mad at my mum. she ate in the kitchen away from him, then made him some noodles. his response? 'what are you doing, why did you make me them??' like very ungratefully, its hard tk convey tone over text haha. like idk he just demands everything of her all the time, never does anything for himself never mind anyone else. it makes me so mad. and feel so guilty. cos i feel like i cant be mad at mum, i mean its not fair for her im the only one whos nice to her idk how long she has left and i just want her to have a happy life yk? but sometimes she makes me super mad lol. is that allowed? can both feelings exist? i dont know how to properly fix it in my head

Hey, nonnie. The short answer is: yes, you can be mad at someone who's going through a hard time. And, yes, you can be affected and traumatised by a person's abuse even if that person is also going through abuse. Both things can coexist. And, even in scenarios that don't involve abuse, if someone causes harm to another person, that harm doesn't magically disappear because the person who caused it was struggling. Their struggle may explain the harm, but it doesn't justify or nullify it.

I really relate to the fears you express in this ask, because when I was going through abuse, my abusive mother was also going through hell. She wasn't being abused, but she was really struggling, and she repeatedly reminded me I was the only person who still cared about her and supported her. So, for a long time, I also felt extremely guilty for hating her for abusing me. She made me feel like she deserved my support more than I deserved to want to be safe from her. And I felt like any negative emotion I had toward her was selfish and extremely unfair.

But that was the abuse talking, and the truth is that no one, no matter how much they are suffering, is entitled to abuse someone else without consequence. And, as a victim, you are always, always allowed to put your safety first. Even if you're (either supposedly or literally) the only person in your abuser's life who is still kind or supportive towards them, you are allowed to want to stop being that person for them. You're allowed to take any and every step you can to seek safety. And you're definitely allowed to be angry at your abuser for hurting you.

It's okay if this is hard to believe right now. But I hope it helps to hear that the guilt and uncertainty do decrease during recovery, once you've given yourself space and time away from your abuser. It won't always feel like you're horrible and selfish for being angry she hurt you.

I can't remember where, but I once heard someone say that your anger is the part of you that knows you never deserved to be hurt; your anger is the part of you that loves you. That really stuck with me. And, when I started therapy to recover from my abuse, one of the first things I remember my therapist telling me was that once you start feeling anger without guilt whenever someone wrongs you, that's a sign you're getting better. Because anger is the appropriate reaction to being mistreated. Guilt, in this case, is a trauma response.

To reinstate: your mum is going through abuse, and you are allowed to be furious at her for abusing you in turn. They can coexist.

Hope some of this helps to hear. Sending you a big virtual hug ❤️

[what-if-nct]

Yo its been such a long time I'm sorry. How's everything going? Are you doing well? Are you feeling well? World've better treated you well. I wanna throw a fit when not. I totally love your insta its too cute!!! Also your clothing style, you actually dare to go out in that? I cant believe it I wish I was brave enough to wear cute clothes but ppl are assholes in my surroundings so I probably wouldn't dare to- I love your style so so so SOOO much.

I mightve fallen back in a (not too severe) Mark Lee obsession and a (very severe) tgcf obsession. Also scumvillains self saving system, I bought volume one only my mom read the backside of it, which is about someone being a half demon and she tells me not to buy it anymore. I'm probably still gonna buy it because I wanna read the happy endingggg (same for tgcf but the next volume i should buy has a very sus cover so I have to hide it from everyone XD)

I have Mark Lee hanging up my wall and once in a while, I stand there and take a selfie with Mork. Its kinda tradition for me now.

Mannn i wish I had stuff to sayyy TT anyways 🥋 anon actually deserves the world so wtf is going on like actually. He didnt do anything wrong right then why is all going on and also why can't people see? I get so fucking angry and upset whenever I see ppl making fun of mental health and when i hear abt how people treat him, and I'm not even the person it happens to!! Like why must world be so unfair, like God may take all the happiness I have and give it to him. Please

That turned a little deep i'm sorry. Some people would just need to know (also 🥋 yeah ily amd ill never stop saying it) (i'm still gonna start a fanclub for him)

-sneeze

(Ps theres a character from tgcf who is canonically a dilf, and kinda turned into the god of coitus and hes scared of women) (hes my fav I love him so much) (his title Ju Yang meaning perfect sun was once misspelled as Ju Yang meaning tremendous masculinity and boom. Ppl started praying to him for sex and kids) (sorry i love that dude too much)

Hiii! And I'm doing fine and I'll stay fine as long as I stay away from people once the pms kicks in I think that's been my problem the past few months. Gotta seclude self during the moon time. And thank youuuu, you're so sweet and I do go out dressed like that. I really don't notice people when I'm out, so I never think twice about it until a creepy man says creepy things like please don't look at me. Only women and guys who look like Timothy Chalatmet and Heir Of Atticus are allowed to perceive me. But I rarely hear anything negative. But seeing my reflection in store windows and hearing girls yell they love my outfit is all that matters. Oh a girl who worked at the grocery store told me she liked my outfit and when I pulled out my card my Jeongin photocard was in my wallet and she asked if I liked kpop I wish I could've said more to her she was so cute but I was shy. So it's worth it to dress however you want cause for every person who has something mean to say there's 10 people with something nice to say. Also how you think you look and how it makes you feel is the most important part. I suggest you at least once to wear a really cute outfit just on a normal day.

I don't know what has gotten into mark lately but I totally understand falling back into it. He's at full power right now. Don't look directly at him cause he's collecting people left and right. Hes still like my boyfriend's kid brother so he doesn't affect me. But I definitely see it, his power. But that is so cute you take a selfie with your picture of mark. I kiss my pictures of Hyunjin or Chan before I leave cause they're right by the door. Their great traditions to have.

I've never heard of tgcf but it sounds like really cool, and yeah it sucks that his mental health is being disregarded it's not okay and he deserves so much better.

[tallulah477]

i want to ask you something how do you stop being a people pleaser i don't know if I am one, but I've given things up for other people and did stuff to make my own siblings like me more and i just tried to be a good and nice person all my life and its just hard to break any cycles at all because that's what they expect from me now to be nice and sweet for the rest of my life

CW:// My thoughts about being a people pleaser and talk of depression, anxiety, trauma, insecurity, and general mental and physical health

I don't really know if you can ever really stop being a people pleaser 100%. I think it comes from a lack of met needs which can cause a lot of insecurity, anxiety, and trauma - and the need to constantly seek validation and approval from others or avoid conflict at all cost by adjusting your behavior (even if it comes at the cost of your wellbeing) is the result.

Being a good person and helping others when they need it isn't a bad thing, but when it negatively affects your health or mindset because your putting that person's needs above your own and completely disregarding what you need and what's best for you - that's being a people pleaser.

You have a hard time saying 'no' because, if you do, then other people might think you're selfish. You're constantly seeking approval from other people because you can't convince yourself that you're worthy enough of love unless you're being useful to someone else.

Basically, you value everyone else's time, opinion, and health more than your own because you feel like you can't trust yourself.

When I was growing up, I was the super sweet and kind "innocent" friend who could do no wrong. I never caused trouble, I could be trusted - was always a "yes, I can" "of course, I can" "no problem at all" type of person. I was terrified of disappointing anyone and always felt better with myself if I could just put a smile on someone's face for a second. But through the years and well into my adulthood, it turned into a lot and I sacrificed a lot of my mental, emotional, and physical health because of this.

Ultimately, my "ah-ha" moment came from anger which is probs not the best way it could have happened, but at least it did 🤷🏻‍♀️. It was a situation where I tried so hard to help a family member and make them happy, but nothing was good enough for them. Nothing I did was good enough, no matter how much I helped I always got told that "no one helps me cause no one cares" - I could fix any problem, do any task, and it still wasn't good enough. I had some really awesome friends at the time telling me little tidbits about what they learned in therapy and honestly idk how it happened but I just remember getting so angry at everything and looking at myself and hating who I was and finally having the thought "I deserve better".

Once I started really looking at things and dissecting my relationships and how certain people made me feel, a lot of stuff started clicking and I realized that I didn't have a lot of boundaries which are sooo important.

Boundaries are gonna be your new best friend.

Some boundaries can look like:

Saying “no” to things that drain you or don’t align with your values or best interests

Stop saying “sorry”. You don’t owe anyone an apology for doing what’s best for you and you don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.

Advocate for yourself. Don’t just agree with someone else. If you have a different opinion and it can be discussed respectfully, then do it. Sometimes it's going to be really uncomfortable, but it will get easier, I promise. If you’re dealing with a narcissist though or someone with similar tendencies, then honestly just get out of there cause they can’t be reasoned with.

Making time to care for yourself. Get enough sleep (I suck at this one 😩), do things to keep yourself healthy but also make the time to do the things that YOU enjoy. I find that saying affirmations help me a lot.

And sometimes it can be really hard, because its probably mostly family and friends that are getting this from you (jobs are also a super common hub for taking advantage of people pleasers) - and sometimes you see a loved one struggling with their own stuff and asking for your help and you want to help them, but helping them just drains you, especially if you suffer from depression or anxiety. So when you start enforcing your boundaries, you’re probably going to be told that you’re selfish, or mean, or have an attitude - but that’s not the case. Taking care of yourself is your first priority always.

I have no idea if this was helpful or not. But I hope it was! 🧡

[truestthoughts]

Be Kind.

Hey, Lovies.

I am here to allow my thoughts to finally be heard.

As someone who struggles with mental health, just like everyone else who are - we have our good days & bad days, but honestly in most cases, like mine for example; my good days only look good because I have taught myself over the years how to make a bad day look like a good day. How to smile & help others while i'm dying inside. I have helped so many people all the while my world was crashing down. I have dropped everything for everyone. No matter how bad I was feeling or whatever I was going through, I have always managed to put my own problems/emotions to the side to be able to help everyone else...why? because, my thoughts are 'no matter how badly I'm struggling to keep myself happy, I would rather see everyone else around me happier.' I've always been so selfish when it came to my own happiness & own health, I have always wanted more for others but not for myself. I've seen so many people struggling, but I've never been the one to just ignore them. I use my own experiences to help others & when they find out what I've gone through, they get a better understanding of why I am the way I am & even more shocked at the fact that with everything I went through, I am still here today & helping others instead of my own healing.

I have said this so many times before, that I would never ever wish what I have gone through or going through on anyone, not even my worst enemy.

I struggle with putting myself first & with that, comes disappointment & a lot of it. I begin to hate myself & question my own self worth, not because I regret helping anyone - its because, when I finally build up the courage to ask for help (which a lot of people who struggle with mental health...this is the hardest thing to do) NOT ONE PERSON is ever there or they don't know how to be helpful. Like I said, I don't regret helping others, I just regret thinking that they would also help me when i'm in my time of need. I blame myself for expecting the same LOVE I give out to others to be given back to me in my time of need. But, I have learned that not everyone is the same & not everyone gives out the same love we do. We love so hard that little things affect us more than the next person. We hear one small thing or see one little thing & we easily become triggered, we become so angry & we start to think negatively of ourselves. But, do the people understand? Do they know what's going on in your head or what you're going through? No, more than likely they'll think that were just blowing things out of proportion but, they don't really know what's going on deeply. We struggle to ask for help because we automatically assume that no one will be able to understand or help us. Whenever we did ask for any help from people whom we thought could help & we thought we could trust; either we are judged, they made/make us feel worst than what we already were & last but not least - we become unheard, a burden, a bother or left asking more about our own worth.

There aren't much people anyone can really run to, even parents sometimes can't help or make you feel worst. We don't feel free to open up to anyone, all they can do is tell you things that they think you wanna hear, but that's not always the answer. As for me, I like to help people & I am so straight forward to them, i'd rather be honest & hurt them rather than make them happy with lies or feed them with words that they wanna hear. As for me, I have tried pills & seeing therapists. But, I have never completed any of those treatments. For one, I never wanted to rely on pills/medications & I have never depended on therapists either.

This is my opinion on those things, people may have other opinions on it & will definitely not agree with me, but this is just my own. It may help or it may not, I am not forcing anyone to do things the way I do. Anyways, with pills - no matter how much different ones I've tried, I never liked the way it made me feel & my thoughts honestly were worst. All the pills did to me was, it helped me to sleep - but, that's just a temporary fix for a semi-permanent problem. I woke up feeling worst than I did before going to bed. There were days of wanting to do worst. So, I stopped it. I began to tell myself that, its mind over matter. It helped a little, it was tough - but, I kept fighting the urge to reach for the pills. It didn't happen over night...matter fact it took me a while, a long while to believe that I can do it without needing pills. I did it, but of course like every other person - I ended up being back on the pills under worst circumstances, but I was able to get off of it again. (more in a different blog)

Next, is therapy. Again, this is my own opinion.

My thing with therapy is, it works for some & it doesn't for others. Which is fine, a lot of people are ashamed to say that they see therapists because they feel people will look at them like they're crazy or something is wrong with them...but, to some - therapy is their only way out & it helps them out a lot. I am a very open person & I really didn't mind telling people that I was in therapy & I just didn't mind what others were saying because I was doing something for myself to get better. That's all that mattered to me during that time. & although it helped other people, it wasn't for me. I came to a realization that it wasn't for me when one therapy session (this was an over the phone session during COVID) I felt just like an assignment or a study. In the beginning of my session that day, my therapists had a medical student with her during that time to observe & all that, which is completely understandable. & I didn't mind it, but what I really didnt appreciate was that - my own therapists told me that she would turn the session over to the med student. In that moment, I just didn't feel comfortable anymore. First of all, I was still trying to get comfortable talking to my therapist & then, that happened. After the call, I had to send an email to that therapist. It may not have been the right thing to do, but it felt right to me. I said to her this...

I am grateful for your time & your efforts you've put in during my time of need. However, I will not be continuing my sessions effective immediately. If you don't mind me asking, have you ever gone through what I have? or are you just taking what you learned from school to help? I understand you worked hard at school to get educated on helping others who've gone through experiences such as this or even worst. However, who are you to be giving me help on something you've never experienced before? During our few fast sessions, all I heard was positive things being told to me about how nothing was my fault or I am worthy, etc. But, those are things that we wanna hear, not what WE NEED to hear. at this point, you're just building me up with words of encouragement which is very helpful - but, you're not really getting deeper into it as to what may have caused everything. I appreciate all the good words you'd say about me, but during our times - all I heard was that & nothing about anything else. It was just telling me I'm strong & I'm worthy. Its all mind games, you're feeding me with words from what you learned in school, but you've never told me what my mistakes were & what I need to do to believe that i'm worthy & strong. You never gave me advice on how I was in the wrong & to correct my wrongs.

That's the basic of the email, but I cut my sessions - was I in the wrong for that? Maybe. But, did I do the right thing by allowing myself to express my thoughts/feelings? I believe so. Since, then I have never seen a therapist - instead I started to self heal. I isolated myself a lot & I did cut off a lot of toxic people from my life & it definitely did help. I took it a day at a time, i struggled for sure - but, the reward of it all is that I was doing it on my own & not dependent on medications or a therapy. I still am going through it til this day, but over time - I found many different ways to get through the tough days. Sometimes it works & most days it doesn't, but as long as you keep trying & find different ways to help you - that's what makes you strong. You keep fighting & trying to fight the bad days.

Its okay to isolate yourself from the world, because we do live in a cruel world now. The expectations from society that we have to be perfect all the time, the hate/critics out there who will bring you down. Social media has become such a BIG INFLUENCE on everyone now days that we all wanna be just like those content creators, but, what we have to remember is that - on social media, people only post what they want to & only the positive things, but in reality behind the scenes -- we don't know what really goes on. That's why we should always BE KIND, whether it be online or in reality life. We don't know what type of struggle anyone is going through. That person hating could be possibly going through something & is just projecting their own problems/insecurities on you because they don't know how else to deal with their issues. When you're faced with someone like that, don't react/retaliate by giving them a taste of their own medicine, instead - offer a helping hand & let them know that its okay to have bad days because there are brighter days ahead. Let it be known that they are not alone & that you are there if ever they need help. Don't force them open up, because that'll put too much pressure on them which will push them away more. Instead, just let them know that when they are ready to talk about it, you'll be there to listen.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE. REACH OUT, whenever you're ready.

Thank you, LOVIES.

Keep your heads up. Stay positive, ALWAYS. You are loved. You are worthy & deserving of it all, PLUS MORE.

I love you all <3

--Mercy Rose

[pvremichigan]

Walks up to her door knocking as he waited, upon her answer he went straight to the point. "Mich.. we need to talk. Right now if you're not busy with anything."

Motioning towards her living room, hesitate for a moment before sitting on the couch and facing the red head. Letting out a sigh before saying what he needed to say.

"About what happened the other day.. I don't appreciate your approach towards me, hitting me like that. It doesn't get the point across at all, if anything it put me into a shock where your words didn't really register until after it passed.. I understand I upset you, my constant downplay on emotions it angered you to that point. My intention was never that, to upset you, rather how I viewed things and its hard to explain why.. I apologize for it, I'm sorry and I won't bring it up again, but.. Don't you ever hit me like that again."

His tone calm, serious but never raising. Wanted a conversation, to really talk to her.

"You had your reasons, you were angry, I get it.. but it has the opposite affect from what you think. I get enough of being hit by others, I don't need it from you, not you. You want to talk to me about something I did that upset or even bothered you.. yell, get angry, go off, sit and talk to me. Anything is fine but don't hit me again."

Leaning back, he took a deep breath in then out slowly.

"I want to at least tell you why.. Why I believe what I believe.. that you don't agree with.. Upset you when I never wanted that.. Maybe It was a pathetic way to try and get you to understand but.. How could you know when you don't know... When I don't say why. It's difficult to explain.. It's not easy."

Heavy eyes gaze up at the man as she opens the door. Upon the sight of him, her head turns to the side as she lets out a heavy sigh. She knew this time would come.

Facing consequences for her actions.

Yippie...

"... C'mon in."

She steps out of the way, letting him walk in after she had listened to him explain how hurt he was. He was right, she shouldn't have hurt him like that, but she had simply snapped after his constant negative talk when she's trying to get her shit together. However... Look at her now. Does she honestly have any right being mad at him when she hasn't gotten a single thing in line in her life?

Christ...

"You're right. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for slapping you across the face, it was stupid as hell and you didn't deserve it. There was no reason for it other than anger."

She stands in the living room, gesturing over to the couch - signaling him to sit down.

"But now it's time to talk. IJ isn't here, just me and you. So we gotta get to the bottom of this..."

"Help me understand."

[thedarkthingcreator]

What are mood swings? Instantly understand 5 causes

Varies in the mood:

Have you ever had moments of satisfaction followed by irritability? When you're having a good time, chirping and dancing around the house, and then you find yourself lying in bed thinking about your entire life.

Daredevil, there's no real significance to these feelings—they're just the product of your hormones. They are just mood fluctuations. Mood swings are defined as an abrupt or notable shift in one's emotional state. A person experiencing mood swings may go from an upbeat, enthusiastic condition to one of melancholy, irritation, or wrath in an instant. You can take advantage of these indications of mood swings when you experience them. What does a man's or woman's mood fluctuation mean? Five typical causes

While mood fluctuations are Frequently perceived as affecting women, they impact individuals of all sexes. Generally speaking, the biggest causes of mood swings are poor diet, lack of sleep, and substance misuse. Mood swings can affect anybody and everyone for the following reasons:

Bipolar illness:

Mental disease or a mood-related disorder (depression) are the causes of mood swings with highs and lows (manic or hypomanic). Bipolar MDD, also referred to as clinical depression, is a dangerous illness that can have a variety of effects on a person's life.

Having trouble sleeping:

Your body and brain are at rest from the outer world when you are sleeping. Just before bed is the ideal time for your body to recuperate. As a result, getting too little sleep frequently makes you agitated and unhappy. In other words, getting too little sleep might lead to irritability and a short fuse. Severe mood swings can result from sleep deprivation, which can cause mood changes. Studies show that individuals with sleep disorders have reduced pleasant moods and an increase in negative emotions (such as rage, irritation, impatience, and depression).

Bringing blood sugar down:

Low blood sugar may be the cause if you've ever felt like you're "hanging," which is when you're both hungry and irate. This is what happens to some people who go a long period without eating. If your blood sugar is low, you could feel confused, lonely, angry, or melancholy. You can even get the want to cry or yell.To feel better, you ought to eat something. The brain, which stores your emotions and thoughts, depends on glucose to function. If you don't give your brain enough energy, that is, if your blood sugar is low, your brain may become unhinged. Even though you can feel like everything is too much for you, this could be a medical symptom of hypoglycemia.

Underline:

Stress can arise at any time in life, be it at the office following work, at home following housework, or for any other reason. Extended periods of stress can lead to depressive, angry, or bitter sensations as well as mood swings and unpleasant thoughts. Once you shift your focus from the primary cause of your stress, you'll begin to feel better. Regular exercise has been shown to reduce stress.

Coffee: 

Some may be surprised to learn that even caffeine can make some people feel moody. Your mood swings may be caused by the coffee, soft drinks, and other drinks you drink. Because caffeine stimulates your neurological system, it may cause you to become more alert than usual. Regular consumption will cause your body to become accustomed to its effects. At this point, attempting to cut back on your consumption will likely make you feel depressed and moody. You might get agitated, restless, nervous, or weary. 

How can you control or manage mood swings?

Although it might be challenging to manage mood swings, there are things you can do to help them:

Establish a schedule: Make an effort to set up time for yourself, particularly for eating and

Concentrate on your present emotions:

Regular exercise Frequent exercise improves nearly every element of your health, including your emotional state. You might be firmer and more at ease since your muscles are loosened and relaxed.

Make time for sleep:

It's crucial to have a good night's sleep, and not getting enough sleep might have an impact on your mood. Adopt a well-rounded diet:

You can preserve your health and elevate your mood with a well-balanced diet.

Practice relaxation techniques such as yoga or meditation when you're feeling restless or agitated. It's easier said than done, so try not to overstress yourself. If you're unable to stop worrying, consider using music, friends, or other hobbies as ways to divert your attention.

Talk to it:

Speak with a trusted friend, relative, counsellor, or other individual. Some natural remedies for irritability and mood swings have been discussed above, along with tips for controlling mood swings naturally.

Have mental health issues? Don't wait; schedule a session at GoodLives right now. 

[goodlives-mitansh]

What are mood swings? Instatntly understand 5 causes

Mood swings :

Have you ever been satisfied one minute and cranky the next?

That moment when you're having fun, chirping and dancing around the house, and the next moment you're lying in bed contemplating your whole life.

Daredevil; These feelings are just a result of your hormones and have no real meaning. They are simply mood swings. A sudden or significant change in emotional state is called mood swings. When mood swings, a person can suddenly go from a state of cheerful enthusiasm to a state of depression, agitation, or anger. These are all signs of mood swings that can be used to your advantage as you experience them.

What do mood swings in men and women mean? 5 common reasons

Although mood swings are often thought to affect women, they affect people of all genders. In general, nutrition, sleep, and substance abuse are the main causes of mood swings. Anyone and everyone can experience mood swings for the following reasons:

Bipolar disease:

Mood swings with highs and lows (manic or hypomanic) and depression are caused by mental illness or a mood-related disorder (depression). Bipolar MDD, commonly known as clinical depression, is a serious medical condition that can affect a person's life in different ways.

Being sleep deprived:

When you sleep, your body and brain are at rest with the outside world. The best time for your body to recover is right before you go to bed. Therefore, when you do not get enough sleep, you often become irritable and depressed. That is, lack of sleep can make you irritable and short-tempered.

Lack of sleep can lead to severe mood swings, which can lead to mood swings. According to studies, people who are sleep deprived have increased negative moods (such as anger, irritability, impatience and melancholy) and decreased positive moods.

Lowering blood sugar:

If you've ever experienced the feeling of "hanging," which is when you're both hungry and angry, low blood sugar could be to blame. Some people experience this when they pass a long time between meals. You may feel angry, sad, lonely, or confused if your blood sugar is low. You may even feel the urge to scream or cry.

You should eat something to feel better. Glucose is necessary for the functioning of the brain, where your emotions and thoughts are stored. Your brain can go haywire if you don't supply your brain with energy, i.e. if your blood sugar is low. Even if you feel like everything is overwhelming you, it could be a physical sign of hypoglycemia or hypoglycemia.

Emphasize:

Every moment of life, whether at the office after work, at home after chores or for any other reason, can cause stress. Prolonged stress can cause mood swings, unpleasant thoughts, and feelings of sadness, anger, or bitterness. By turning your attention away from the main source of your stress, you'll start to feel better. Daily exercise is known to be a stress reliever.

Caffeine:

Knowing that even caffeine can cause mood swings in some people may come as a surprise to some. Coffee, soft drinks, and other beverages you consume can be the cause of your mood swings. Caffeine can make you more alert than usual because it stimulates your nervous system. Your body will get used to its effects if you eat it regularly. At this stage, trying to reduce your intake will make you feel tired, irritable, anxious or restless, for example, which will lead to mood swings and melancholy. 

How to manage/control mood swings?

Mood swings can be difficult to control, but you can take steps to ease them:

Set schedule: Try to make a schedule for yourself, especially when it comes to eating and sleeping.

Focus on your current feelings:

Daily exercise Regular exercise has many benefits for almost every aspect of your health, including mood. Your muscles are released and relaxed, allowing you to be firmer and more serene.

Get enough sleep: Getting a good night's sleep is important, and a lack of sleep can affect how you feel. Eat a balanced diet: A healthy, balanced diet can maintain your health and improve your mood.

Relaxation exercises: When you feel restless or irritable, practice relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation.

Don't stress too much: Easier said than done, so try to avoid stress. If you can't avoid feeling stressed, try distracting yourself with music, friends, or other activities.

Chat with it: Talk to a friend, family member, counselor, or other person you trust. How to naturally regulate mood swings has been mentioned above along with some natural treatments for irritability and mood swings.

Struggling with mental health? Don't hesitate and book a session with us today at GoodLives. 

[supplementnews]

K-Tropix Energy Shot- 100% Natural and Advanced Against Depression and Anxiety

K-Tropix Energy Shot is a completely herbal preparation that AEP experts recommend. Doctors created it to help people suffering from depression, anxiety, and stress.

Do you constantly feel tired and struggle to get out of bed in the morning? Do you feel down and despise everything about yourself? Do you get emotional easily, have sleep problems, irritability, a lack of interest in things you used to enjoy, and find no enjoyment in life? Do you feel suicidal as a result of these feelings?

Depression is a serious issue that affects millions of men and women around the world. Fortunately, advances in brain research have resulted in new treatments for depression. K-Tropix Energy Shot, an all-natural anti-depression energy drink, can help you make your brain a more peaceful place and eliminate depression.

But what exactly is K-Tropix Energy Shot, and how does it work? Is there any negative side effects to using K-Tropix Energy Shot? K-Tropix Energy Shot is available where, and what benefits does it provide? K-Tropix Energy Shot can be purchased online. What is the price? Are men and women satisfied with the results they achieved after using K-Tropix Energy Shot?

If you suffer from depression or know someone who may be suffering from depression, anxiety, or stress, it is critical that you understand what K-Tropix Energy Shot is. This review contains detailed and accurate information about K-Tropix Energy Shot. We strongly advise you to read all the way through so that you can make an informed purchasing decision.

Depression and Its Physical and Psychological Consequences

Depression is a common mental health disorder that affects at least 25% of the adult population. It is technically a mental disorder that can have an impact on everything you do. It is not easy or quick to recover from depression. It's not like a stomach bug or a cold that goes away quickly. Some people believe that depression is simply a state of sadness, but it is much more than that. This feeling does not go away on its own, and if not treated, it can aggravate the symptoms and lead to suicide.

So how do you know if you're suffering from depression and not just a "sad feeling" that will pass? In addition to sadness, depression causes a variety of symptoms. If this feeling has been bothering you for more than two weeks, you are most likely suffering from depression.

K-Tropix Energy Shot is 50% off its list price when purchased through the official website.

Other symptoms that may accompany sadness are as follows:

Feeling hollow on the inside

Feeling hopeless and helpless

Headache, persistent pain, and nausea

Withdrawing from family and friends

Appetite changes

Loss of interest in activities that you used to enjoy

Sleep problems

Constant exhaustion

Suicidal ideation

Long-term stress

Angry and irritable

Concentration lapse

Self-hatred

Depression can have an impact on all aspects of your life. It can influence everything you do, from how you sleep and eat to your career, relationships, and education. If you work, it can have an impact on your concentration and productivity.

Those suffering from depression frequently struggle to maintain a normal work and social life. They will struggle to make decisions, concentrate, and may experience memory problems. Additionally, thoughts of self-harm or suicide will be present at all times. If depression is not treated, the risk of suicide increases significantly.

What exactly is K-Tropix Energy Shot?

K-Tropix Energy Shot is a plant-based anti-anxiety and anti-depression energy drink that offers complete brain and mood support. When it comes to your mental health, your body requires additional nutrients. Specific nutrients that promote mental health can be crucial in providing your body and mind with the relief they require to combat depression and anxiety.

K-Tropix Energy Shot is a trusted name when it comes to treating depression and giving your mind the peace it deserves. It is packed with organic, herbal, and all-natural ingredients. The ingredients have healing properties and act as mood enhancers to provide natural relief from anxiety, mental stress, and depression.

The dosage of the ingredients in energy drink has been clinically proven to be effective. They work by increasing the production of the neurotransmitter in the brain, which aids in the reduction of restlessness. They have a calming effect on the brain.

Furthermore, the ingredients lower cortisol levels in the body and calm the nervous system. They also help to maintain a healthy and positive mood by acting as an antidepressant. When you take the energy drink on a daily basis, the levels of dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin in your brain increase, giving you a "good and happy feeling." The product was created to promote mental health and ensure that you not only eliminate depression, but also live a happy and healthy life afterward.

K-Tropix Energy Shot Ingredients and Composition

K-Tropix Energy Shot's manufacturer desired to create energy drink with a 100% transparent composition in order to create an anti-stress supplement suitable for men and women, capable of counteracting the typical symptoms of anxiety and depression, using high quality non-gmo ingredients supported by research. These energy drink, dubbed "anti anxiety depression" by many users, are made from vegetarian ingredients and contain no fillers or stearates.

Every day brings new challenges, difficulties, and victories. K-Tropix Energy Shot have been designed to help you overcome these challenges with less stress and more vitality. These mood stress relievers can provide you with the energy boost and anxiety support you need to take a step back, breathe, and run to handle whatever life throws at you with calm concentration and a positive attitude.

K-Tropix Energy Shot's main Ingredients are as follows:

Ashwagandha Root Extract: boosts energy and libido.

Griffin Seed Extract: elevates and improves mood by increasing serotonin and dopamine production in the body.

Corn Starch Complex: maintains blood glucose levels while normalising blood pressure. Create a sense of joy and harmony.

Magnesium Sulphate: This mineral provides energy, strength, and tone.

K-Tropix Energy Shot is 50% off its list price when purchased through the official website.

Opinions and Reviews on K-Tropix Energy Shot

K-Tropix Energy Shot reviews and positive comments have already appeared on the forums, left by users who have already found the will to live, to confirm the experts' already positive opinions. What is frequently emphasised is the excellent value for money, as well as the complete absence of side effects or contraindications. Positive feedback was also received regarding the ease of ordering and the professionalism of customer service.

K-Tropix Energy Shot are energy drink used to treat depression, as well as to enjoy positive feedback and feedback in customer comments and opinions. You won't find many complaints from them on the forums. The majority of them report feeling infinitely toned and energised throughout the day. According to popular opinion on K-Tropix Energy Shot, they work at full capacity, not allowing stress to steal their joy and life. They usually get a good night's sleep in the evening. The American company "ForestLeaf" has chosen a bouquet of potent natural ingredients that promote happiness.

Taking K-Tropix Energy Shot energy drink for greater peace of mind and tranquillity has a surprising but pleasant effect. We learned this from some K-Tropix Energy Shot reviews, reviews, and customer comments on the forums. Many people have overcome depression while also experiencing increased libido. This is due to the inclusion of Ashwagandha herb extract in the product's composition. And we all know that nothing improves one's mood more than the feeling of love.

These are some of the main benefits that K-Tropix Energy Shot users claim to have obtained.

The supplement's 100% natural composition makes it extremely safe to consume.

It has a strong mood-enhancing effect.

Relieves depression symptoms

It alleviates anxiety and stress.

Improves concentration and memory by restoring brain activity.

Sleep and appetite are restored.

Removes fatigue and agitation

Enhances general mental health and well-being

Reasonably priced

On-time delivery

Online purchasing is simple.

How Should K-Tropix Energy Shot Be Taken? Instruction

It is sufficient to take 1 energy drink twice a day, according to the instructions on the package insert and leaflet. The product should be taken with water, and the duration of the treatment varies depending on the case and the desired results.

More information can be obtained from the telephone consultant who will contact you if you decide to order the product at a discounted price from the official website.

K-Tropix Energy Shot can be taken in three simple steps:

Take 1 energy drink twice a day, 30 minutes before meals.

Maintain a positive attitude and engage in regular exercise.

K-Tropix Energy Shot should be consumed every day for a full calendar month for a complete mental recovery course!

K-Tropix Energy Shot Price - Where Can I Buy It?

So, how much does K-Tropix Energy Shot cost, where can you buy it, and where can you sell it?

You can order the product for home or office delivery while adhering to all hygiene regulations. The price of K-Tropix Energy Shot natural energy drink is the same in all distribution countries, including USA. You can also get regular value discounts on their official website.

All you have to do is fill out the form with your name and phone number.

REQUEST - Fill out the form on the official website to make a request.

CONFIRM - Wait for a call from a consultant to assist you in placing the order;

RECEIPT - Receive the product in the manner of your choice;

PAYMENT - You have the option of paying for your order upon receipt of the package.

In drugstores or on Amazon?

depression, K-Tropix Energy Shot review

Look for bio-capsules for a stronger K-Tropix Energy Shot psyche in pharmacies or on websites like Amazon. With similar products, there are only forgeries and scams. Don't be fooled if they offer you K-Tropix Energy Shot for a lower price; pharmacies and Amazon do not sell the original product. The manufacturer has already warned of such scams.

In conclusion:

K-Tropix Energy Shot is a cutting-edge, all-natural, and organic energy drink that has been clinically proven to alleviate depression, anxiety, and stress. This supplement contains high-quality, clinically-tested ingredients that improve an individual's brain, mental health, and overall well-being. K-Tropix Energy Shot is a well-known product because it has helped thousands of men and women who were depressed and on the verge of committing suicide. It is also reasonably priced and easily purchased from the manufacturer's official website.

K-Tropix Energy Shot is 50% off its list price when purchased through the official website.

[bobaji]

request: toxic traits.

+ Can I request genshin men (childe, zhongli, xiao, diluc, and any other of your choice as toxic boyfriends plz? I'm a masochist like that + just toxic relationships, controlling, possessive yandere, mean doms etc + Not neccesarily nsfw, but if you want to add it I'll be happy with whatever!

note: i deviated from this request just a little bc it felt easier to write this way. hope you don't mind!

note 2: this doesn't contain any smut but i tagged it with dark content simply because of the nature.

childe.

childish.

he never takes anything seriously. if you're having a bad day, he takes any opportunity to "lighten the mood". he cracks jokes and ends up making a mockery of your pain. you can try all you want to explain to him what he's doing wrong but he really doesn't get it. he's just trying to make you feel better??? he just can't read a room.

self-centered.

additionally, if you try to call him out on the negative way he makes you feel, he turns it around to make it about him. he made you cry because he made a bad joke? well, why can't you see he was just joking. you're being dramatic and now he feels bad. he always figures out a way to make himself the victim, only thinking about himself.

zhongli.

controlling.

he's a god. despite the fact that he is playing human now, he still retains that need for control. this is especially true for money. if he thinks you shouldn't purchase something, he won't let you. if you do buy something he thinks is stupid, he makes sure you know and that you feel bad and silly for the purchase. he expects you to do everything he tells you to do, no matter how unreasonable it is. and he has very little tolerance for mistakes.

manipulative.

he is unintentionally manipulative. he doesn't realize he does it. additionally, he will gaslight you if you try and call him on it. he makes sure to tell you he thinks it's silly, the way you get all worked up over the things he says. if you don't like it, then why do you listen? he doesn't listen to everything you tell him, why can't you do the same? he doesn't understand the power difference between the two of you -- he is so obviously in charge, that it's almost impossible to not bend to his will.

xiao.

stubborn.

he's set in his ways. he has lived so long without worrying about others, he refuses to start now. he doesn't work on himself and chooses to live the way he does, no matter the effect on his loved ones. you knew what he was like going into the relationship, he expects you to always accept him. it's your fault if you expect more out of him than he can give. not that he would even try.

unaffectionate.

he doesn't see a need for affection. its such a human thing, something he doesn't need or understand. thinks it's annoying when you try to hold his hand or when you cuddle up to him in bed. if you wanted someone affectionate, then you picked the wrong one. and since he's so stubborn...he won't ever change.

diluc.

neglectful.

he can go long periods of time without so much as thinking of you. he lets you do what you want and doesn't really care. especially if he's preoccupied with his job or protecting the city. it gets to a point where you start to feel like he doesn't love you -- doesn't care about you. there's not much you can do about it, even if you sit him down to tell him how you feel, it just goes in one ear and out the other.

selfishly needy.

on the flip side, he expects you to be there and available whenever he does decide he wants you. and if you aren't, he gets upset and angry. it really isn't fair but he doesn't get that. he never understands it. after all, you begged for his attention for weeks and now you won't even make time for him? he doesn't understand just how hypocritical that is. he just expects you to be there when he wants you but doesn't care if he's not there when you want him.

kaeya.

condescending.

he does it at the most random times. you could be venting to him, in tears because you had a rough day and he'll break out "oh? you had a bad day? that sucks..." in the most infuriating, condescending tone that just makes you feel like he views you problems as silly in comparison to his. if you mess something up or get something wrong, he whips it out then too -- making sure you know he thinks you're stupid or beneath him.

unsympathetic.

in addition, he just really can't sympathize with your problems. either he doesn't care or he just doesn't get it. he refuses to understand either way. when you tell him about how you boss made you feel like shit, he just shrugs and asks what the big deal is. or if you're exhausted and near tears, he just shrugs it off and tells you that you're making a big deal out of nothing.

© lovebo 2021. do not modify or repost.

[lubdubsworld]

Better Man.

              ~~~~We might still be in love, if you were a better man. ~~~~

Taehyung x OC 

Rating 18 +

Angst. 

Implied Infidelity in the past. 

Chapter 1 ~ Walk out the first time. 

"Are you okay?" My mother's soft voice came from behind me and i panicked, hurriedly swiping at the tears that were streaking down my face. Heart pounding, I grabbed a bunch of tissues from the dresser, patting my face down hurriedly , making sure to keep my back to her. 

"I'm fine, Mom." I said , voice surprisingly steady as I turned around to smile weakly at her. She stood near the doorway, a petite woman of fifty with greying hair and too many wrinkles. 

I thought she looked older than she was and i knew I had a part to play in that. Sighing, I tried not to cry more, moving to gently take my son out of her arms. 

He was four years old, fast asleep and smiling sweetly in his slumber. He had downy black hair, feather soft and warm brown eyes. He looked incredibly like his father, the resemblance stunning even though he was so young. I stared at him some more, laying him down on the bed and brushing the hair off his face. 

"Are you sure there is no mistake? Taehyung ssi wouldn't hurt us like this..." My mother said, sounding broken and I felt a pang of sympathy. But also annoyance. 

Us. 

Us....like she had an equal share in the hurt I was feeling.

 I was the one getting a  divorce but my mother made it sound like it was personal to her as well. Like somehow, the fact that she now had to meet her friends and tell them that her daughter was divorced could compare to the pain I was feeling. To the sheer anguish that was filling me.

To be fair though, my mother had loved Taehyung very much. Her favorite son-in-law . My sister's husband had been a mean drunkard who had brought a lot of misery to our family. Taehyung by contrast had been a loving, filial son in law. He had cared deeply for my parents, paid for my father's funeral ( even though the man itself was nothing more than a drunk , cheating fool who had abandoned us )  and he had been the most kind man . 

I swallowed. 

Maybe , you should have forgiven him. Maybe , you shouldn't have divorced him . So, he slept with another woman. Fine.  It was one night... just one night. you should have gotten over it! Was it worth it to spend all these countless nights alone? To break your mother's heart a thousand times over? 

 The funny thing was, i had forgiven him. Maybe right after I had found out. He had stood there, looking shell-shocked and horrified and his eyes had begged me for forgiveness and my heart had cracked , the way it always did whenever I saw him in distress. And when he had looked me in the eye and said, "  I’m sorry,  Jang mi..." I had forgiven him right then and there.

 But it was the forgetting that was hard. The fear that it would happen again. The fear that somehow, I was the reason he strayed. And that kind of fear can be debilitating. For the first three weeks, I'd tried to pretend it hadn't happened. I had tried hard to see him the way I had always seen him but it had been impossible. everytime I saw him, my heart had broken anew. It had been hard but I had to accept that things would never be the same. That I would forever look at him and remember what he’d done. That I would forever wonder if he would do it again. 

So we had done the wise thing. 

At first a break.

 A few days apart to get our head on straight.  Then I’d found a job and I had to move closer to the office to make the commute easy. And then suddenly, I wasn’t seeing him even during the weekends , to spend time as family for our son’s sake. And just like that , a whole year had passed and we  were separated. Only meeting to hand Hoshi over to each other. 

"I'm sorry mother." I said softly. I knew that she blamed me, a whole lot for the separation. 

People with children  didn't leave each other over infidelity in my country. You hit your husband, denied him from your bed maybe but you didn't break up a family over one night of bad decisions. You just didn't .

But for me, it was beyond the act. It was the broken trust, the shock of knowing that some other woman had given him something I couldn't, the fact that he had even wanted it from another woman had been enough for me to crumble on the inside.  

But, none of it mattered now. 

He wanted a divorce. Officially. Wanted to end it for real. 

It was jarring, how badly it shook me. I felt unaccountably lost and confused and disoriented. I couldn't imagine not being Taehyung’s wife , i realized with a stunning sense of self realization.

 Call me irrational, but apparently, I couldn't stop thinking of him as my husband , even after two years. Soon he wouldn't be my husband. 

He would be  my ex -husband. 

i hated that word. 

It had such a plethora of negative connotations to it. When you hear it , you just brace yourself for unpleasantness.

 Because it is unpleasant. A marriage ending, a family breaking, feelings hurt , hearts shattered,  angry words tossed...its all a very unpleasant experience for everyone involved. 

An ex husband was seldom a harbinger of happiness, more often a reminder of choices gone wrong, regrets and wasted time. and I didn’t want to associate Taehyung with a word like that.

Taehyung who was still the kindest, warmest human being I knew. The best father in the world. 

I felt like someone had sucked all the strength out of me.

I didn’t really want to think about the call I’d gotten from Taehyung last night. An appointment with a divorce lawyer.  It had been followed by an apology because apparently, someone in the law firm had let the info leak. And now it was all over the sleazy tabloids that fed on people’s misery. 

It was impossible to escape it too, Taehyung was famous. An idol. And actor. The country's sweetheart. And he was the epitome of perfection. The beautiful, talented actor with an impeccable record of well behavior. 

I knew that literally everyone on the planet thought he was a literal angel. 

 I remembered how much , by contrast, I had been hated when I'd married him.

I could just imagine how much more it would all be this time around. And i wondered if it bothered Taehyung too. Did he perhaps wish he’d never met me

? 

It had been sheer luck that we had met.... 

In fact, if Jimin's  car hadn't broken down right outside our home on that cold December night, I wouldn't have even met Taehyung. A great cosmic shift, somewhere some butterfly flapped its wing a certain way and suddenly, Jimin’s car ran over a thumbtack and his phone was dead so while he tried to fix the damage , Taehyung  just had to knock on our home and I had been the one to open it. 

Boom. That was it. Love at first sight. 

 I had been a high school kid and he had been barely nineteen. Fresh faced and cheerful , the struggling idol from a small company. He hadn't been surrounded by fans or chased by saesangs. He hadn't had security tailing him. No daesangs, BBMAs, or acting awards. No blockbuster movies to his credit , no chart-bursting songs either . 

And I had fallen in love with that version of him. 

The hardworking, talented young man who worked twice as hard as anyone around him. 

 That's right. You've loved him for fifteen years.  So it's understandable that you're upset. Now, maybe you can move on too. Go on a few of those blind dates that Jiyoung is always setting you up on. Go live your life instead of being a zombie. Get a hair cut. Dye your hair red. Do something to get your life in order. 

"I still find it hard to believe that he would want a divorce. Jangmi yah... did you tell him you forgave him? Tell him you wanted to try again..." My mother said again and the distress in her voice was equal parts heartbreaking and exasperating. 

"Mother, I don't want to try again . We aren't married anymore. It's over, whatever it was between us. " 

 Whatever it was. 

How cruel, to have all that love, all that affection  reduced to a phrase like that. 

What a pity. 

"But what about Hoshi? He needs his father..." My mother cried out and I willed myself not to snap. She means well, I thought miserably. 

"He has a father. Taehyung is an excellent father and you know that. Don’t start that again.” 

My mother sighed.

"I still feel that this wouldn’t happen if you tried a little bit. He’s a good boy. Such a good boy and you could never do anyone better. Why are you so full of pride, Jangmi... so prideful...you should be a little humble. Think of the kind of man he is...where would you find a man like that ? And moreover .... Taehyung loves you. i know he does." My mother said stubbornly. 

I sighed, feeling my fingers shake from the effort not to scream. I wasn’t strong enough to have this conversation with her. Not now. Possibly never. Taehyung did  love me. Had never made any effort to hide it. But sometimes, love wasn’t enough. It just wasn’t. 

And I wanted to yell at my mother she was at least partially to blame for me walking out on Taehyung. 

My father had left us for another woman , when I was twelve. I had seen the toll it had taken on my mother and I just knew that I would never let a man do that to me. My mother had later confided in me that it wasn’t the first time. He had done it before. A lot of times. And my mother had always forgiven him. Let him back into our lives. 

And one night, drunk on soju she had confided between hiccups, ‘ I wish I’d walked out the first time.” 

And that had stuck with me. 

Walk out the first time. 

If he cheats on you , walk out the first time. Don’t stick around waiting for him to do it to you again. Walk out the first time. 

 And so I had. 

“ Should I talk to him? Tell him you’ve changed your mind? “ My mother began and I felt my patience snap.

“No!! Could you just, for the love of God, stay out of this, ma? It’s over. Our marriage is over and it has been over for a long time. A piece of paper doesn’t really change that, does it? Its not my fault you can’t get over it but that’s a you problem. And you need to fix it yourself.  “ I shouted. 

My mother immediately recoiled, eyes shuttering down. 

“Of course. You know the best. Who cares how anyone else feels, right, Jang Mi? You always know best.” She said softly, and I exhaled, shaken. There it was. The guilt trip. It was never ending. 

Please... I just need to go now.” I moved to grab my bag, :” I need to go get ready for the meeting with the lawyers tomorrow. You can keep Hoshi with you tonight.  I’ll come pick him up after I’m done and then I’ll drop him off at his father’s place.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

With Taehyung and I, our break up hadn’t been terrible. 

It hadn’t been terrible because our own penchant for being terrible had always been very minimal. We didn’t do swearing or fights or threats and it always annoyed our friends that we got along so well. That it was so easy for us to forgive and move on with each other . That we were the one couple who didn’t hold grudges or bring up past mistakes. 

Which is why, when we did break up, none of our friends had tried to change our minds over it. They had accepted it rather calmly, shocked at first because it was so out of the blue but not opposed to the idea itself . They just trusted us to know the right thing to do because we were easily the most mature , the most level headed couple in the entire group. We were usually the sounding boards , the voice of reason in whatever petty conflict our friends were involved in . 

So when it was us, needling a little advice, a little guidance, our friends had been woefully ill equipped to help. They had merely hummed and nodded and empathized. Maybe that was another reason I’d left. I hadn’t considered the alternative. No one had asked me to consider the alternative. 

Our friends had watched us drift apart watched us break up, but they hadn’t really asked us  why.  

Because if something had caused Kim Taehyung and Jang Mi to break up, man, that must’ve been a really huge issue. 

So the break up had been amicable. Gradual and slow but mostly amicable, eased by our mutual love for our son. We wanted him happy and he was happy when we were happy. So we put on a front, laughed and joked in front of him and let him have some semblance of normalcy in his life. 

It wasn’t easy. 

From him,  it had been nothing but a mess of   heated glances, touches laced with intent and eyes begging forgiveness . every gaze of his was a silent scream for a second chance that I was not at all ready to give. 

Because for me, the raw hurt and anger and frustration that bubbled up every time I saw him , it had nowhere to go. It stayed churning in my gut, made everything bitter and unpalatable and I wanted to hurt him for hurting me. How could I think of a second chance when the hurt from the first, was still so fresh, an open wound festering. 

Self esteem in tatters, I had hated him fiercely. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The meeting was at his company, and I arrived at nine in the morning, with a few more minutes to spare.  I knew the place like the back of my hand, was here at least  once a week either to pick or drop Hoshi off and I knew that the conference room in the third floor was sound proof and cut off from the rest of the building for extra privacy. 

Which was a little too late because I’d found two tabloid newspapers waiting outside my apartment this morning. 

I opened the door carefully, surprised to see Taehyung sitting in one of the chairs, bent over a sheaf of paper on the table and next to him a leggy girl in a small skirt hovered, fingers resting lightly on his shoulder, bent at the optimum angle to show him her curves. 

I sighed, looking away.

It was way too early for this. 

“Mia!” Taehyung’s voice made me look up, and I watched as he stood up, pushing the chair away and moving to me . He was easily the most good looking man in the country. And he looked so good at thirty five that it was impossible to look away from him. 

He was dressed in a pale blue shirt and black slacks and it never amazed me, how good clothes fit him. 

I took in the broad shoulders, thick arms and the lean waist, the carefully styled hair and the breathtakingly beautiful face and sighed when he kept coming closer, hands held out. . 

Of course, the customary hug. 

i let him wrap his arms around me, my face buried in the comforting warmth of his body, the scent of his cologne filling my brain . He always smelled so good it made my heart hurt. I tried not to let myself get carried away. Tried to remind myself that this wasn’t anything more than a.....

A facade ? Or was it? Was his affection genuine? 

Was I just too cynical?

I shook my head, pulling away and smiling a little at the genuine venom in the leggy girl’s face. 

“Are you okay? Where’s Hoshi?” Taehyung brushed the hair off my face, eyes warm and I wondered if he’d forgotten we were here to get a divorce.

 Whenever we met, Taehyung acted like we were still together. 

No, that wasn’t it. 

He just didn’t act like we had broken up. He was affectionate and open and cooperative. It always left me in a sort of limbo, unable to navigate our relationship with clear boundaries. There were no line to stop myself from crossing, because he just didn’t draw them. 

“ Ms. Lee says we just have to go over the details like the alimony and the custody and the division of assets and then we can just proceed. Get it all finalized.  “ He said casually, when I moved away and sat on the chair opposite him. 

“Okay .” I said casually. 

He smiled and turned back to the girl next to him.

“I’ll join you after the meeting Lisa.” he gave her a nice wide smile and the girl practically bloomed under the attention before bowing curtly in my direction. I watched her walk away, slightly amused.

“Bit younger than your usual type.” I commented , glancing at him. He gave me a look.

“I’m not dating her.” He shrugged. 

“Does she know that?” I retorted.

 It was dumb. Uncalled for. I was being a bitch, really but the urge to evoke some kind of reaction from Taehyung was something I’d never really out grown. I liked getting under his skin.

Taehyung sighed and gave me a little smirk.

“Are you jealous, Mia mine?” He teased. 

It felt a little like someone had dug a nine inch dagger straight  into my heart. 

That stupid nickname. 

God I couldn’t bear it. 

Swallowing i looked away. 

“Sorry. “ he said quietly, a few seconds later. 

I nodded curtly. 

“Don’t do it again.” I said hoarsely. 

“Why not?” He whispered gently. 

I groaned. 

“Taehyung... “

“it’s just a name...why does it bother you so much?” He whispered. 

“The same reason you’re asking me for a divorce.” I said softly.

He blinked.

“Mia...”

“Because we both know its time to stop.” I said quietly. “ Stop dancing around each other , stop doing...whatever it is we’ve been doing these past two years and give our relationship a name. “ 

“I’m not very fond of labels.” He shrugged. I glared at him. 

“Well tough luck. Labels are good. Labels are great. They let you draw boundaries. “ I retorted. 

“You sound like you’ve had enough of me.”

“Well, haven’t you had enough of me?” I snapped.

“Not even close.” He leaned forward gently, eyes pinning me to the table with a gaze so strong he may as well have used his body. And it didn’t help that two years wasn’t enough time to forget how it would feel if he  had  used his body. How it would feel to be stretched out on that table, him on top of me, hands working my clothes open, lips kissing their way down my jaw. 

I could almost taste him, taste the minty freshness of his breath, feel his tongue in my mouth, the hardness of him inside me. My thighs clenched because I hadn’t gotten laid in two fucking years and even if i did, no one would ever compare to the man in front of me. 

“Mr. Kim? Mrs. Kim? “ 

The lawyer’s voice broke the spell and i straightened, swallowing. Ms. Lee had walked in , and I watched her close the conference door behind her before locking it gently. 

She was young, dressed in a business suit , a no nonsense bun and had small round framed glasses. She gave me a nice smile, shook hands with us both and placed her briefcase on the table before glancing between us. 

“Shall we begin?” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author’s Note : its gonna be a bumpy ride. 

[jean-does-not-have-a-horseface]

Hot Chocolate (Birthday/Christmas Special)

Summary: Levi is bound to spend this birthday on his own, seeing that you're halfway across the globe as an exchange uni student. What he doesn't know though is that you have planned a huge surprise for him. NSFW 18+

Notes: sorry for any mistake you guyss please enjoy this

Pairing: Levi/ Reader 

Tags: f l uff, nsfw

Warnings: nsfw, the sexies

Disclaimer: I do not own the gif, I simply found it on Pinterest.

White heavy cream fell fluidly out of the carton it was stored, squeezed by Levi's calloused hand and into the small metallic pot that he rested his other hand onto. The mixture, an aromatic, dark brown hot chocolate, lightened in color upon a few stirs of his tool. Slowly with his hand he disposed of the empty carton in the recycling bin, making sure to wipe any stray droplet of white on the counter.

He blinked as his mind went blank, forgetting the next step of the recipe but only momentarily. His thoughts once again traveled to what troubled him, but he continued with his stirring in fear of burning the beverage he was set on making. With his teeth sinking dangerously at the tip of his tongue what he needed clicked in his head. Corn flour. A quorter of a cup.

He didn't bother tasting the mixture as he lowered the fire of the stove to the minimum, he simply marched to the corner built in cupboard, hands searching furiously for the porcelain vase that held this oh so precious corn flour that would act as the stabilizing factor to his hot chocolate beverage.

Seconds later he brought the fire to an halt absurdly, never ceasing with his stirring careful as to not have the mixture stick to the pot. He didn't like his chocolate adorned with burnt flakes or the taste they brought to his mouth neither did he like cleaning the burnt pot before having to pop it in the washing machine. As his hands reached for the cups he had set beside the stove beforehand to his alchemy, he helped the thick mixture in with a spoon.

The cups were immediately transfered inside the over; an attempt to keep them from any predatory fly that could have entered the apartment before Levi had a chance to realise and in addition keeping them sheltered as they reached a drinkable temperature. Levi threw the pot into the sink next, sighing to himself as he grabbed his thick latex gloves and out them on his hands. With a twist of his hand at the handle the watered started running on his gloves hands pot making him grab his steel wool.

His hand came to his forehead, wiping some sweat as he sighed again, hanging his head low as he gritted his teeth in frustration. His eyes squinted in anger, his hands dug into the inox of his sink and his heart sink dangerously low as he felt the room run cold due to the sun quickly setting behind the horizon.

Why had he made that chocolate, it beat him. The two of you hadn't spoken in at least two days and he liked -or rather chose- to blame it on your busy studying schedule, rather than the fight the two of you had over that call two nights ago. He had been to angry to admit he was acting like a brat to you, he had been too proud to simply say that he wanted your attention, instead he had resolved his anger into grumpiness, causing your overworked mind to snap.

You were gone as an exchange student in Japan for too long and both your busy schedules and the enormous time difference had dug their ways into Levi's life very negatively. Before you he had never lonely when he was alone, but now, now that he had gotten a taste of what it was to be with you, now that you had been ripped away from him from so long, he definitely felt lonely. And angry. And it killed him that he was almost on time for your arranged video chat, when you didn't even show any sign of being in existence still.

It made his boil though, by now, it must have been the 26th in Japan and you had spent your day ignoring him, not even bothering to open his message. Had he been so cruel to you while admitting he wanted you here with him? Was it that you didn't have enough decency to let him you know you were alright? That was what he simply wanted to know, in the end.

Sighing again he ripped the gloves off his hands and grabbed his phone. His fingertip touching the button provided him immediate access to his homescreen and he quickly entered Instagram dragging the homepage down a couple of times to let it load any new activity. Internally he knew, he would have been glad if he was to see a story or a post by you, any sign that you were alright would do for him.

Of course, as if on cue to shake him of his miserable thoughts his phone rang, buzzing in his palm. His eyes fell on the small window the revealed the caller id to him. It was Erwin, naturally, as he always used to shower him with phone calls on his birthday even up until the moment he was at his front door. Levi didn't missed out on those signs of affection, it's was quite the opposite really. He cherished them deeply. Seeing how much of an impact he had on his friends' lives moved him whether he showed it or not.

And so, while holding back his saddened sigh he picked up the phone, greeting his friend through greeted teeth.

"Hey Levi, uhm, I kind of need you at the moment, am I interrupting anything?"

"No," Levi spoke, biting painfully on the inside of his cheek in an attempt to hold himself back from sprinting out on his frustration. Of course Erwin could try and hide behind his finger, Levi knew that much. The blond was aware he wasn't interrupting anything, but he was still kind enough to ask; he always was sappily kind when it came to such sensitive subjects.

"Great look, I'm on route twenty two, fifth exit, I'm out of gas can you please come to my rescue and bring me some?" Erwin paused for a moment and then proceeded to mumble through an overly amused breath "I'm sorry I'm doing this to you tonight."

"Did you take your father's run down car again?" Levi questioned.

"No... yes. I'm sorry Levi I felt like I wanted to drive his car tonight. I shouldn't have to drag you here too, I'm sorry."

"No it's fine," Levi bit back, hissing at Erwin's unhealthy habit of wanting to drive his father's antique due to its sentimental worth. But then again, he reminded himself he wasn't in a place to judge. "Give me 15 and I'll be there."

Fidgeting his fingers on the counter without throwing a second look he came in contact with his car keys. The familiar jiggling sound gritted through the air proudly as Levi pierced his finger inside the key loop, finally pressing the keys steady to his palm. With another grunt, he hang up the phone, bringing the device to the palm of his hand once again.

His mind begged him to open his texts with you again -his initial goal ever since the moment he opened his phone- just to stare at the screen or at his unopened text, his insides begged to boil with concern at the process but he figured had all night to do so, prolonging his misery could definitely wait now that Erwin was in need. And thus he simply marched to the hanger behind his front door, eager much to quickly get a hold of his warmest jacket before having to step out in the cold apartment corridor and consequentially outside in the cold December weather.

___

You forced Hange to suppress her giggles as you slipped the metallic key inside the lock to your shared apartment with Levi. With an exaggerated jump though Hange let out another scream fill the air, ignoring yet another playful rasped gaze you consequentially threw her. Laughter bubbled from the both of you as you kept on locking eyes, amused by the upcoming execution of your plan.

The plan was simple really. You had Erwin call Levi for any emergency he could come up with and only when he left the house you and Hange would sneak in, light up the aromatic candles you spent weeks picking. You would make some hot buttered rum and light the fireplace to warm up the house. Then, Hange would leave right when Erwin would call you to announce that Levi was on his way back and you'd wait for him with the biggest smile on your face.

"Okay now let's see how much time we have." You said and rubbed your hands together to warm them up. Leaning with one hand over the wall you moved the heel of your left foot on top of your right one, pressing down enough so you could wiggle your foot out of the shoe. Doing the same for your other foot, you removed your jacket and hung it behind the door.

"Erwin said it will take Levi about twenty minutes to get to him, they shall spend about ten to fifteen minutes fueling his car, but he promised he'd try his best to delay Levi if we need to. And then add another ten minutes for him to get back." Hange spoke, fixing her glasses onto her nose.

"You think I have enough time to take a bath?"

Making sure to slip her shoes off after you, Hange nodded in your direction and proceeded to set her heavy backpack on the couch. One by one she took the candles and a lighter out, eventually smirking to herself as she tried to come up with a plan on how to neatly set them around the living room.

"Hange!" Can you put those in the bedroom?" You spoke, ripping your shirt off of you before your finger came to graze the side of your mouth as your mind sunk in your thoughts.

"Ha!" Hange huffed "as if you're even going to make it to the bedroom!"

Your cheeks burned as she spoke, eyes widening slightly at how your mind told you she was completely right. Of course you and Levi wouldn't make it to the bedroom at least until later tonight. It had been months since you had last seen him and it was his birthday, you wouldn't even be able to rip yourself off of his arms. Thus you simply threw a mellow smile at Hange as you sprint to the kitchen checking to see if you had all the ingredients you'd need to make your choice of drink.

Coincidentally, you opened the oven and your eyes immediately fell on what was inside. Your expression softened as two grey toned cups shone in your orbs, the smell they emitted deliciously filling your nostrils. You smiled to your self as you thought about how your lover didn't miss out on making your traditional Christmas drink.

It was unbelievable how kind hearted Levi was, in contrary to what people thought of him, you thought. Most of the times -and simply because he didn't allow otherwise- the only thing people who weren't close to him saw was a cold demeanor, a sharp tongue and a foul mouth. It all would be too ironic if they knew how Levi was behind closed doors. Taking notice of small everyday details, sticking to his beloved routine, cherishing moments with his loved ones, remembering everything most people would ignore about others and showing his love in the sweetest yet most Levi way were only a few of his virtues.

Of course he wouldn't miss on making your favorite strawberry scented thick hot chocolate, even if you had spent the last few days not speaking to him, even if as of now he remained ignorant as to why. You assumed he believe it was about that ridiculous fight and you could admit you purposefully riled him just enough for him not to expect to see you. You were sure, seeing he had shown a previous liking in surprises like this, that his jaw would hit the floor when he'd see you.

Guilt rushed through you at the thought of you making him feel miserable even in the slightest, but Hange couldn't just have you standing there, sulking in your anxiety over how things had led up to this moment. If you wanted to make it in time for when Levi came home you'd have to rush. Hange insisted on shooing you out of the kitchen and into the bathroom, urging you to act fast, before Levi came. Sensing she was right, you settled for running to retrieve a new pair of underwear and a clean towel before jumping in the shower.

Stretching your arms to close the curtain behind you as you stepped on the white marble tiles you twisted the faucet handle to the right, letting a deep sigh escape from the depths of your chest as the hot water started running.

___

The sound of keys jiggling together filled what should have been an empty apartment, making Levi's arrival known only to you who stood inside the kitchen. He stepped inside a few seconds later, ripping his shoes off of his feet before slipping into his fuzzy slippers.

His hands immediately reached for the wipes and rubbing alcohol he kept on a stand right next to the door, silently grabbing a wipe and coating it in the strong smelling disinfectant before bringing it to his phone and keys. He spent a good minute cleaning the items meticulously only stopping when he felt satisfied to set them on the stand. He took a step to turn around with his goal to walk to the kitchen and heat up his got chocolate. Judging by the time he could still try to reach out to you before the day ended.

With a quick glance around the room, though he found himself freezing in his spot.

"Great, now I'm so shit mad I'm seeing fucking things." Levi announced -seemingly only to his own self- the moment he laid his gray orbs upon you.

"No Levi, you're not seeing things baby."

Standing up for your seat on the kitchen table you shot him an adorning look; your eyes squinted and your cheeks puffed up, coated in a sheer scarlett color. You silently watched as his eyes grew impossibly wide, flickering between you and each lit candle that showered the room in plenty of romantic golden light.

His legs were slightly trembling, his knees going weak at the sudden need to intake all of what was unraveling before him, but with his heart hammering in his whole body he only managed to part his lips before even beginning to thing if what to utter.

"Merry Christmas and happy birthday my Vee." You smiled again, mouthing the tooth rotting sweet nickname as you walked to him with open arms and a longing look on your face.

He wasted no time, even if his head was starting to buzz in confusion and uncertainty, he bucked in his stand before sprinting towards you. His hands quickly wrapped under your bum, lifting you up on him while prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. With painfully squinted eyes his nose nuzzled up between your neck and your chest, inhaling your magnetising aura sharply as he span you around. You wrapped your arms around him tightly, embracing his head in a loving manner as you couldn't supress your bubbling giggles.

His strong grip on you wasn't ceasing, not even for a moment as he began mouthing his questions; he didn't even care that his voice was muffled by your own form.

"How- I mean when?" He spoke and only hugged you tigher onto him.

"Well, you thought I'd ever miss this day?" You placed a kiss on the top of his hairline. "I was supposed to be here days ago but my flight got delayed, so Erwin and and Hange came up with this surprise plan."

Levi's hands loosened their grip on you slowly was you tried to slide down his body carefully; this breathtaking moment could only ever last for so long, Levi figured as he set you down. Kissing you was the next task he assigned to himself, but it could only happen after he got a good look at your face.

God, he had missed you so much.

So many months had passed since the last time he had been graced with seeing you this close to him and in the moment what he was witnessing almost felt too unreal. Your tender eyes looked into his with adoration and warmth, your chest dwelled with tainted breaths as your hands slowly came to cup his sharp face.

"I'm sorry I wasn't responding at all, I really had to leave to go to the airport after that silly fight we had, I couldn't just tell you I was coming." You said and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. "Although I was really temped to."

Levi wrapped his arms around you again and hugged you to his chest- this time he missed on levitating you if the ground, even more fiercely than he had done before. He simply huffed in amusement in the crook of your neck, mouthing a sole 'thank you' against you.

The next kiss you shared was maniac and passionate in nature. His lips didn't just graze over yours, the engulfed them. He sucked onto your tender flesh as if his life depended on it and you couldn't get enough. You found yourself grabbing his shirt, then running your hands through the short spiky hair of his undercut.

His slick hands cupped your own face as he pulled back only to catch his breath for a moment.

"I've missed you much I can't even be patient to talk with you."

"Me too" you announced, a hazed look masking your face.

You took a few leading steps to the couch, careful not to disturb the candles in the corners of the coffee table that before it, much afraid of setting everything on fire in your despairate state to have him. Your mouth launched feverishly onto his as you threw him onto the gray sofa.

Levi didn't fight it, not even for a moment. His tongue shoved inside your mouth, rolling around yours, slurping and cherishing each corner of your mouth as he took small intakes of breath through his nose from time to time. His tender hands loosened their grip on the sides of your face, the action eliciting a small whine from your occupied mouth but to was quickly gulped down by the movement of his lips that came to suck on your tongue.

You felt his fingertips travel down your clothed body, skillfully sinking underneath your shirt before restlessly traveling back up taking the cloth away with them. You only broke away from each other for a singular moment, breaths hitching and tinting the air around you, so much that you could almost ignore the way your heart sped it's throbbing in your ears. His hips bucked longingly int you from underneath, the friction already driving you crazy.

As his hands shoved longingly inside your pants you let another moan slip from the depths of your throat, though it was guickly muffled by your lover's mouth attaching on yours , making you melt into him. You felt his fingers graze ever so slightly over your still clothed crotch, painfully flicking their way through your flesh.

Roughly, he pulled back, detaching his want body away from yours while fixing his gray eyes into you. He didn't bother speaking as he tagged at the sides of his shirt, ripping the article of clothing away from him in such quick movements, as if it was the only thing getting in his way from getting close to you.

With hanger widening his eyes he stared at you again, prompting you to put your hands into him, to feel him all the while he run his hands into your form. He failed in exploring your body as he had wished though, with a shagged breath he only managed to bring you close, in a proximity that didn't even allow a kiss to be exchanged. You simply nuzzled into the crook of his bare neck, rubbing the tip of your nose in calm circles against him as you breathed hot huffs of air onto his skin.

His back was still so muscular and ripped despite his skin being so overly smooth under your tender touch, the more small trails you rubbed over him the more he sighed in greed and over exaggerated longing. Licking his lips with a constipated look on his face, he placed a tender kiss on your collarbone before traveling back up, just to teasingly rub his bottom lip over yours.

Breaking the kiss you grabbed his hand, bringing his palm close you your face. You teasingly picked his pointer finger, making sure to scratch the inside of his hand with your nails as you brought the digit to your mouth. His mouth, running ahead of his own desire to stay quiet, blurted lewd moans at your soft suckling and with all blood boiling in his body he was unable to even think about chocking down on his sounds.

He was on his back before he even knew it. It seemed like squirming was the way to go now, right underneath you as you placed kisses all over his chest and torso. With slow hands you reached for his pants, fidgeting with his zipper and buttons before wiggling your arms inside the dark denim.

Quickly, any remaining article of clothing was discharged thrown anywhere on the floor; you could worry about that later but right now you couldn't seem to be able to pay attention on anything else than each other. You had missed him, he had missed you, there was only so much that the two of you could process momentarily.

It was the high of the moment mixed with your scent that pulled him even even more as you craddled him to your chest while never ceasing the bobbing of your hips. The kisses that he sucked in you, sped up the beating of your heart against his as soft skin mingled with your own. Even that was painful to him, the extend to which he had missed you didn't leave any space for him to pull just an inch away from you, as if he wouldn't ever be able to get enough.

"My Levi, I've missed you so much." You spoke with hitched breaths, lips grazing his earlobe ever so slightly.

Levi allowed him self to eventually grunt in response letting harsh huffs of air through his nostrils while trying to guide your hips to an alt.

"Keep talking like that and I'm not going to last." He spoke, his fingering digging into your thighs to put an halt to your movements.

It didn't work -he should have known it wouldn't work- because you only slid down on him longingly and fast, sending his mind in the familiar pre orgasmic haze he so wished to momentarily be freed from.

"Who said," you paused only for another tainted moan to slip outside your lips "I want you to last?" You placed a kiss on the skin behind his ear, careful not to suck and create any loud noise that close to his eardrum.

Levi only threw his head back, his hips starting to work onto a hard, quick rhythm against you. He trembled under your words and every deep thrust, every feel of your insides on his throbbing length was only contributing to the build up in his abdomen.

He hair, sweaty as it was, stuck on his forehead as it dripped, but you paid no mind in his salty taste as you kissed your way all over his forehead and cheeks, nose and jawline, trailing your tongue on any sharp edge of him.

Your legs were shaking now and much to your best wishes you struggled with your thrusting onto him. You only managed to gyrate your hips, earning another moan of him as you ceased your movements, sweat dripping off of your own forehead as if mimicking his antics.

His hands nearly slipped from your thighs as wet as they were but he managed to get the message you were trying to convey; with jaded breaths he started thrusting maniacally from underneath you, damaging through you as pleasure dueled in both your bodies.

Yearning splashed all over his face and his grunts only got louder. Your foreheads collided as you cupped his face, noses nuzzling up, eyes staring deep into eachother.

Gentle. His ultimate indulge into you was gentle and earth shattering at the same time. His veins popped in white hot pleasure and his chest boiled with numerous erotic moans as his abdomen screamed throughout him, leaving him with barely enough time to mechanically reach just to pull out. His head hung low onto your collarbone while his head throbbed, unable to come down from his high just yet. He couldn't even move his eyes to see you, although he knew by listening to your panted breaths that you were in the same position as him.

Pushing him back to lay down on the couch, you kissed all over his face for the thousandth time tonight.

"I'd never ever miss this important day, you know." You smiled, pressing your lips to the tip of his nose.

"It's not that special, brat" he spoke shyly as he cooed into your face rubbing his upper lip to your cheek. You recognised the action; it was a habit of his to coo in such way, any overly soft thing grazing his top lip indulged him in endless calmness and you hummed to yourself in amusement to the feeling.

"I missed you."

"I know. You said that." He huffed, his lips puckering to hide the playful demeanor behind his next words. "But I don't think I heard it right, mind repeating it?" His fingers trapped your nose between them and swayed your head from side to side before moving to your naked back to press you closer to him him once again.

"You're such a tease. I love you Levi."

"I love you too," He blurred with eyes that burned into yours and proceeded to place a sweet kiss onto your sweat drenched hair "so much, you brat."

Taglist go off: @ackermans-freedom-inc @hawkssnugget @berrijam @levisbrat25 @nobody-knows-anymore @callmepromise

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I Thought About "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" from The Owl House

Wow. They are really pushing it for that secret message, huh?

Anywho--Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons!

I think it goes without saying at this point that Season Two of The Owl House is setting itself up as a season without filler. Now, filler episodes aren't always bad. Yes, it hurts when a series turns away from the main plot for a week. But at best, they're utilized as a chance for the writers to play around with the characters and developing said characters without it relating to the overarching story. So, some people who see that consider it a bad thing that a series doesn't have that many filler episodes.

I like to call those people: F**king morons.

Don't get me wrong, I see where some of you are coming from. And I'd be willing to agree...if The Owl House was a plot-driven series. Which it's not. It is a character-driven series. Because for every plot thread and narrative that the show presents, they always relate to the characters and develop them further each time these threads get brought up. For example, look at "Knock Knock Knockin’ on Hooty's Door" (It pains me just to write that). Several narratives move forward, and it’s all done to make the characters grow. And to explain how requires going into spoilers. So keep that in mind as you continue reading.

Now, let's review, shall we?

WHAT I LIKED

Hooty: Might as well start with the character that this episode is about.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't a huge fan when I found out we're getting a Hooty-centered episode. I've grown to love him over time, but he is a comedic character that's best used in small doses. Primarily due to how his voice is grating to me (My ears are still bleeding...). With that said, I do really love his contributions in "Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (Seriously, there couldn't have been a less awkward title?). Hooty's antics when trying to help everyone are as hilarious as they are heartwarming. He deeply cares for his friends but just doesn't understand how his plans could do some unintended harm, which is pretty lovable if you ask me. We also get some surprisingly great insight into his character, as he feels insecure about basically being the comic relief who doesn't really do that much other than being funny. Rarely do you get that level of dimension from a comedic character, and it's even more uncommon for that to work out as well as it does here. It once again proves just how competent the writing is in this series to the point where we get an episode about Hooty, and it's funny and heartwarming instead of being annoying. And whoever is responsible for that, you're the best.

Lilith’s Letter to Hooty: I mean it when I say that I love how Lilith kept her word about her and Hooty becoming penpals. Their friendship was something I would have never expected to love, and I'm still shocked that it works so well, so seeing it continue like this just warms me to the bone. Plus, it is pretty sweet that Lilith's kind words are what inspired Hooty to do what he's done in this episode...meaning it's Lilith we should thank here--SON OF A WITCH! Even when she's gone, she's still working her way into my heart!

King going through Puberty: What?! KING IS EVOLVING!

(There, I made a Pokemon reference. Do I get my cookie now?)

Eda Keeping Herself Awake to Train Herself: I'm willing to bet a large sum of money that this has everything to with Raine getting captured last week. If Eda was still the most powerful witch in the Isles, she might have actually saved them. But she isn't, and now the love of her life is in the clutches of a tyrant planning something that could potentially be the end of everything. So I can understand Eda pushing herself to her limit to get back on top again, as I would probably do the same. It's not healthy in any way, and Eda would be doing more harm than good. But when it comes to the people you love, logic doesn't always win out in the end.

Luz Wanting to Make her Way into Amity’s Heart by Making the Echo Mouse Happy: ...That's it. I Just...I just love everything about it, ok?

This was also when I knew that I was wrong to doubt that there would be zero Lumity in this episode. I realize my follies now, and I humbly apologize.

Hooty Teaching King About Demons: This was so funny. So, so funny. Probably doesn't come as a surprise, especially since The Owl House proves itself as a comedy before, but the jokes have never hit as frequently and as hard as they did here. From Hooty getting offended by King's dance to him and Dana's insert wanting a "DNA sample," everything managed to successfully make me lose my s**t. It does come at the expense of King suffering, but I can stomach that much more than if it were Eda or Luz. And, as a bonus, we get lore about how demons work, added with another great joke of King getting in trouble with Hooty for saying he already knows this stuff. Humor isn't always the show's strong suit, but when it works, it f**king works.

King Wanting to Know What he Is: But despite how funny King's vignette was, we still get to see more of his character grow. We learn that he's frustrated now that there's this big question mark over his life now, feeling extra angry that his father "abandoned" him to leave such a present mystery. It shows the hidden resentment he has that Lilith inadvertently brought out, made even worse when King's father hasn't responded to the video yet. King hasn't really gotten that much development until "Echoes of the Past," so it's pretty cool that the writers haven't really slowed down on it. Especially when it leads to these great moments of King venting his frustrations.

King’s Shouting Powers: KING learned FUS RO DAH!

(And now that's a Pokemon reference AND a Skyrim reference. WHERE'S MY GOSH DANG COOKIE!?)

Eda’s Nightmare: If King's vignette hits you hard with the laughs, Eda's will absolutely hit you harder with the feels (never make me say "feels" unironically again). Knowing that Eda's life got thoroughly screwed over by the curse is something we could figure out on her own. But seeing just how much the curse ruined her life and tore apart relationships that mean the world to her really does a swell job at ripping apart the soul. What's even more tragic is, technically speaking, it's all sort of Eda's fault too. She kept hiding the curse, refusing to be a burden to others who would do all they could to help. If she had only been open and honest, things probably wouldn't have changed much, but they most likely would have been better than they are now.

Eda Attacked her Father as the Owl Beast: ...I don't know what I was expecting when "Keeping Up A-Fear-Ances" hinted that there was some possible tension between Eda and her father...but it definitely wasn't this.

The fact that we see blood where his eye used to be doesn't make things any happier, either.

Raine Broke Up with Eda: Before we get into anything else, let's celebrate the fact that it's now confirmed that Eda and Raine really did use to date in the past. Because this show is just f**king phenomenal with its LGBTQA+ representation!

But, seriously, this is a fantastic reveal that goes far beyond just shipping...well, sort of. It shines a new light on Eda and Raine's interactions from last week, revealing that while they're not a couple anymore, they still very much love each other. It helps make their last interaction especially tragic, as they were both on the same page now and could very well be together again. Only for them to be forced apart for the second time in a way that's much worse than the first. And I frickin' adore that this series changes the impact of one episode one week later. Again, it shows just how competent these writers are, and kudos to them for making something so...perfect.

The Moon Person: WHO THE FU--Nope. Nope! We have more than enough mystery bulls**t to deal with through CreepyLuz and Philip Wittebane, so I am PUTTING YOU ON THE BACKBURNER FOR NOW!

(They're probably nothing more than a one-off character, anyway)

The Owl Beast and Eda are Connected: Through visuals alone, we, the audience, can clue into what the curse really means. The Owl Beast doesn't want to be a part of Eda as much as she doesn't want it to be a part of her. Whether they like it or not, and they very much don't, they're stuck together. The thing is, and this is what I love the most, they still decide to make the best of their situation rather than let it ruin their lives even more. This might be the best possible turn Eda's curse could have made. It'll still affect her, and there are probably more negatives than positives, but at least now, it's not the worst thing in the world. And I feel like that's all anyone can ask when in a position like her own.

Eda's “Pretty Dream”: I don't know what emotions are toiling inside me more with this moment. Awe and wonder over how beautiful Eda's dream is, or heartbreak over the implication that she has only had nightmares since getting cursed...I'm gonna say both. Yeah, it's definitely both.

Eda’s Harpie Form: Well, fan artists are gonna have a field day with this...especially the freaks.

(You know who you are. And you're weird!)

Luz Calling Amity a “Cotton-Candy Haired Goddess”: ...Have I ever mentioned how much I love this show?

Hooty Kidnapped Amity: ...Hooty, if your stupidity wasn't charming, I would be more than willing to call the authorities over how you kidnapped a girl in your version of a knapsack and locked her in the basement. For that is going to ring SO MANY alarm bells in people's heads.

Amity and Luz Stuck in a Tunnel of Love: *Smacks lips* Mmm. The adorable awkwardness of this moment is just *chef's kiss* magnifique!

Luz being afraid of getting made fun of:

Amity’s look of hope: I mean...just...f**king--LOOK AT HER:

That is the look of a girl who, while embarrassed as hell, still is ecstatic to learn for a brief moment, everything that she is hoping for has a high chance of being real. Who, in their right mind, wouldn't go "Aw!" at something so pure and innocent?!

Luz Destroying the Tunnel of Love: This is how to effectively utilize dramatic irony. The audience can understand why Luz is tearing the place apart because she explicitly states that she's afraid of Amity rejecting her in the end. They also know that's bogus, thus making it extra painful to watch Amity's heart break more and more with each second (which is perfectly represented through Amity's expressions). You feel bad for both of them, and even worse when you know that it can easily be prevented by the simple art of communication. That's what makes it great dramatic irony. Knowing the point of view of each character results in a scene that evokes emotions in two different ways.

Hooty’s Breakdown: This was...genuinely hard to watch. Not that it was badly written, far from it. It just...hurt seeing how destroyed Hooty was when he realized he failed the people he has such an admiration for. On the upside, a wholesome moment follows soon after as the Owl House gang tries to reassure Hooty that he's done a lot of good that night. It's a pure action that shows even though Hooty gets on their nerves all the time, they still care about him...damn it. I think I'm gonna cry.

Eda’s Advice for Luz: ...Eda...You're the best.

You found out that your surrogate daughter wants to ask a girl out, and not only were you quick to deliver the best possible advice ("Just go for it!"), but you also quickly reassure her that it doesn't need to be perfect.

And you know what? That's it. Eda is the best cartoon mom! She might not technically be Luz's mom, but I don't give a s**t because she is the best!

Luz and Amity Ask Each Other Out: Shh-sh-sh-sh...

Do you hear that?

...

...

...It's the sound of dozens of Lumity fans collectively losing their s**t...and I'm one of them.

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

HOO-HOO-HOO-HOO!

IT!

IS!

CANON!

AH-HAHAHAHAHA!

HOLY S**T! Holy s**t! Holy s**t...might just be the best way I could possibly describe this! Finally, after all the waiting, speculating, and praying, THESE TWO IDIOTS FINALLY GOT TOGETHER! AND IT WAS PERFECT! I mean, it was awkward as s**t, but that's what makes it perfect! You know why? You wanna--Hey! *snaps fingers*. You want to know why? It's because they're teenagers. Of f**king course, it's going to be awkward! This is their first relationship, so there will be a lot of missteps along the way. And that, in itself, brings me to the best (second best part?) thing about it happening in episode eight of the new seasons. Most endgame couples get together in the climax or even at the end of the series. But to have them get together this early on, means there will be quite a few episodes dedicated to showing them grow as a couple.

And better than that--EVEN F**KING BETTER THAN THAT--dozens of kids are going to see these two, a realistic depiction of young love that just so happens to involve two girls, and are going to learn once and for all that there is nothing wrong with being who they are. That fact alone is f**king incredible. Yes, it sucks that season three got cut short, and we'll have even less time with Luz and Amity, but knowing how many kids have felt seen today almost makes it worth it in the end.

And if I see one mother f**ker saying this was poorly paced, I might just hunt them down for SPORT...Sorry if that was an overreaction. I'M JUST SO HAPPY! Because they're happy! Look at them. Listen to them! It's so...GAH-HAHAHA!

“They’re adorable! And deserve all the happiness!”: You're darn right, Hooty! You're darn right.

King’s Father(?) Shows Up: What the--WHAT?! They're doing this now?! Here?! After everything else?

Oh, man. What could this mean? What dynamic changes will this cause in the main cast? How could the writers fit this in during the next two episodes? And what--

Hooty Eats the Letter: ...Pfffft--HAHAHAHA!

Oh, man...I should be mad, and I wouldn't blame others if they are...but that is too much of a brilliant f**k you that I can't help but appreciate it. Bravo writers. Bravo.

WHAT I DISLIKED

...Dislikes? Dislikes? You would honestly believe that after everything I witnessed in this episode, that I would have the gull to list anything wrong with it?!

HOW DARE YOU ASSUME THAT I WOULD BE SO CALLUS TO--Actually, I do kind of have an issue with the episode's title. It's just too much of an awkward mouthful for me to get behind. I understand that the writers wanted to sneak the K into the secret message, but were there really no other titles starting with K that they couldn't come up with?

But that's just a personal issue, and in no way do I think anybody else would feel the same way. Especially with how well-written everything else is anyway.

IN CONCLUSION

"Knock Knock Knockin' on Hooty's Door" (title aside) is another A+ episode. It was hilarious, heart-wrenching, and downright adorable while keeping me entertained with every minute. I'm sure there are some issues I was willing to ignore due to how expertly written everything else was, but why bother looking for the chinks in the armor when I could just enjoy a perfect episode for being so...perfect! Some of you might be willing to disagree with me, but to that, I say: Don't knock it till you've tried it.

(Now, if you don't excuse me, I'm going to go lie down. It's...It's been a day.)