#“well. they're naive so let me just give them a push in the right direction. the direction of power. you know. cause they need it. idiot.”
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avas-poltergeist · 1 year ago
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Astarion is Vriska coded.
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cherryberry444 · 9 months ago
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Perfect For You
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pairing: luke castellan x aphroditekid!reader
summary: in which your best friend luke gets jealous when a guy asks him to hook him up with you
warning: none except for kissing
contains: angst, jealous luke, flirting, nervous luke
word count: 933
🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
"Hey, I saw Brian talking to you earlier, what was that about?" You ask as Luke comes to sit down next to you by the lake.
"Brian? Oh it was nothing.." He waves off.
"You sure? I feel like he kept looking over to me while he was talking"
"It was nothing important, I promise" He says looking down, fidgeting with his shoelaces.
"Alright, if you say so Luke" You say, still suspicious.
"Well he's really cute, I was just wondering if maybe.."
"If maybe?"
"He asked about me or something?"
"Well, he didn't, so don't worry about it. Plus, you're way too good for Brian anyway"
"You think so?"
"I'm positive, not only is he a Hephaestus kid but..all demigods are pompous and nothing but trouble..plus he's a Hephaestus kid so he truly has nothing to be so proud of" Luke scoffs.
You chuckle lightly. "What do you have against Hephaestus kids? Also last time I checked..you were a demigod" You say poking his chest.
"How do you think I know? And Y/N Hephaestus is notoriously known for being ugly" You playfully push him.
"Don't say thatt I think Brian is cute"
"Right.." He breathes out.
"Just tell me what he said Luke"
"I told you it was nothing"
You give him a knowing look as Luke lets out a sigh.
"He asked if I could put him on"
"With?"
"You"
"And what did you say?" You asked, beaming a smile.
"I told him if he really cared about you he'd speak to you himself"
You roll your eyes. "Then what?"
"Then what?" He repeats.
"What else did you say Luke?" You say in a serious tone.
"I may or may not have said something like..I wouldn't worry about it though because I doubt you're exactly her type" He confesses.
You sigh deeply. "So you lied?"
"I didn't know you liked him!"
"But that wasn't your place to say that Luke"
"I just don't think he's right for you!"
"Oh please! You don't think any guy here is"
"Correct"
"I'd rather you stay out of my love life, Castellan"
"He came to me!" Luke defends.
"Yeah but even guys that come straight to me you always judge. You're scaring them off! It's like nobody is good enough for Luke Castellan's pretty best friend. They're too afraid you'll slice them apart if they even approach me."
"Well I'm sorry for wanting the best for my best friend!" Luke defends.
"Which is nobody here apparently" You roll your eyes, looking towards the forest.
"Well, it could be" He says in a lower voice.
"Oh really, who?"
"It could be me," He mumbles, looking down at the ground.
You chuckle softly. "Wait, what?"
"Nothing..I'm just..just joking" He says, turning to look the other direction.
"No Luke, what are you talking about?"
"I'm just saying..what if the perfect guy for you..was me y'know? Wouldn't that be funny?" Luke says nervously.
"No not really"
"Oh"
"I don't know if I could laugh if my best friend who I've known forever was actually my soulmate the whole time and I was oblivious to the situation. I mean..aren't Aphrodite kids supposed to know that shit?"
Luke chuckles. "No, not necessarily," He says, shifting his seating position.
"So you're just joking around right?" You ask.
Luke breathes in deeply.
"Because it's really not funny.."
"Well I am joking but I do wonder about it sometimes.." Luke begins.
"Oh?"
"Do you?"
"Well...well if I'm honest sometimes yeah" You admit.
"And how does it make you feel?" Luke asks sincerely.
"Well..I just make myself stop cus it's not serious I mean why would we...we just wouldn't make sense"
"Why do you think that Y/N?"
"You're Luke Castellan, greatest swordsman and I'm just me you know we're not on the same level"
"Y/N don't say that" Luke says looking right into your eyes.
"It's true"
"No..it's not at all Y/N. You're actually so naive it angers me" Luke shakes his head.
"Thanks" You say sarcastically.
"Y/N, you're the most beautiful girl at camp. Everyone either wants you or wants to be you. You're perfect." Luke explains, looking at you.
"Do you want me?" You spit out, losing control for what comes out of your mouth.
"Hm?" Luke asks, caught off guard.
"Do you want me, Luke?" You say moving closer to him.
"Is this a trick question?" He says, beginning to blush.
"No" You say, giving him your alluring gaze he just can't resist for much longer.
"I...I do I..do yeah.." Luke stammers, looking right at you.
"So that's really why you're so overprotective?" You accuse.
"Well..." He starts.
You giggle. "So you weren't joking about us being soulmates?"
"Well, I was because just cus I like you doesn't mean you like me back and.." Luke explains.
"Of course I like you, Luke" You say never removing your gaze from him.
Luke's breath hitches. "You..you do?"
"I always have" You say, grabbing his hand softly.
"So we like each other?" He asks.
"Yes Luke, we like each other" You giggle.
"So what do we do?" Luke asks.
"Maybe this" You say before closing the space between you two and pressing your lips against his.
His breath hitches in shock but he eventually follows up to your speed. Kissing you back softly, running his fingers through your hair as you smile into the kiss.
"You could've just told me, y'know?" You say breaking the kiss.
"Shut up" he laughs, kissing you once more.
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cinnamonest · 4 years ago
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Zhongli (Genshin Impact) - Yandere Profile
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This man's voice has a POWER over me I SWEAR
tws: yandere, mentions of n/sfw
tws (under the cut): very ddlg-esque vibes, sorta? infantilization, noncon
I'm sorry I get such strong daddy vibes it unintentionally went in this direction, hope that isn't too bad lmao
I’m working on all the prompts I’ve gotten in! I’ve gotten a few so I’ll be working on those.
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What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?
He's one that might be likely to misunderstand his feelings at first, think that he sees himself as a mentor or maybe even an authority figure, someone to guide you and teach you and serve as a dependable partner to your travels. As time goes on, and he begins to recognize how utterly flustered he gets around you, he's forced to acknowledge the actual feelings he has.
While some yanderes with a slight aloofness or pride to them get worse when in love, such as Childe or Kaeya, his drops completely. You bring out a softer side of him, really, one that's protective and tender and loving, so very loving, wanting to be around you, with you. He's certainly an obsessive, protective type, ultimately allowing his protective nature to get the better of him as he demands to know everything you've done, account for your location at every moment, constantly keep track of your habits, inquire about very personal details of your life. If he realizes you're bothered by it, he might draw back a bit, but he's convinced that that's just your perception, that it's necessary, truly, and not at all unusual.
Pet names. Particularly fond of love, darling, and angel. Sweet things that represent what you mean to him -- something precious, something to represent his adoration and idolization.
The primary form of delusion comes from a perception of you. He's obsessive, and idolizes you to an extent. He perceives you as pure, innocent, angelic. The thing is, this applies regardless of whether or not you actually are. If you are, it will solidify the idea, but even if you're not, he will find a way to see you so, anyway. No matter how wise you are, no, you're naive. No matter how capable you are, no, you're weak and fragile. No matter how experienced you may be, no, you're pure. He can always keep this delusion running by bringing into account age and comparison - you'll never be as strong as him, so you might as well be frail and weak. You'll never have lived as long as him, so really, do you think there's that much difference between you and a child, when compared to someone like himself?
How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?
Actually highly likely, and pretty quickly. As he observes you, it becomes very clear to him how very fragile you are, how naive you are, you are quite literally too pure, too angelic, to be living in this world with such beings as humans. Fragile, beautiful little things have a place where they belong - protected. Where do we put fragile, beautiful things? We put them behind glass, behind ropes, in pretty cages, in secluded rooms. It's only natural that you, too, need a similar environment.
He's one of the ones that will... Elegantly kidnap you, as odd as it sounds. He's not a brute that would do something horrendous like knocking you out or drugging you, no, he'll find an excuse for you to come to his abode, invite you in, and you'll walk in none the wiser. Only after your in, and the doors close, does he guide you to your new room, calmly explaining that he's come to the realization that you're too fragile to continue your journey, and ought to simply give up on your travels. He knows you'll be upset at first. Like a child being denied, you'll get pouty, moody, you might cry, you might lash out at him. It's predictable. He'll dry your eyes and calm you down, brushing off any harsh words you may have, holding your wrists in his hands when you try to push him away, softly reassuring you that it will all be alright, that you're safe now, and you'll learn to accept this with time.
How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape? 
He would want something... elaborate. He's a man with taste for the most beautiful of things, including yourself, and he won't settle for something as simple as a chain or ropes. No, that would be too simple and brutish, and you, one of the finest things in his life, deserve something equally beautiful and delicate.
He's one of the ones that would go to a great deal of preparation for your arrival. He'd have a room prepared just for you, very ornate, beautifully tailored to you -- the walls your favorite color, the bed made of the same material as your old one, and the whole room completely filled with things you're certain you never even told him you liked. Clothes that fit perfectly to your body. It's frightening how perfect it is, because you know he had to go out of his way to acquire the information to achieve such perfection, but you have no idea how.
Everything about it elegant and detailed, right down to the series of ornate locks on the door. They're some of the sturdiest available, made with essentially unbreakable metal alloys and the most intricate lock systems to date. The windows don't open, and he'd certainly find some way to ensure escape through them isn't an option -- perhaps metal bars, perhaps an unbreakable glass substitute, perhaps merely locating your new home right on the edge of one of Liyue's most beautiful mountains, so that if you were to go out the window you'd plummet to the earth below. He's a bit delusional, but he's not stupid, and he will think through every possibility. Every little detail he needs to keep you safe and confined.
He's certain that, perfect as it is, this room is all you will ever need to be happy. Should you desire anything else, he can bring it to you. You'll never have to leave.
So it goes without saying that it would be exceptionally difficult to escape him. You'd have to find a way through the locks, for which your best bet would be to get some hair pins or tiny writing utensils. Even if you managed it, though, which would frankly be a very difficult feat, you'll have to deal with staying free. Zhongli has ties to the people of Liyue as a whole, and needless to say, he has eyes everywhere. You can't risk appearing in the harbor area, there will be far too many people who would immediately report you, and you'd just be walking right to him anyhow. The surrounding areas also have ties to him, so you'd want to try and reach Mondstadt, as far as it is, which is a difficult travel by foot all alone. You won't get far. He's faster, he's wiser, and he will find you long before you could ever hope to make it there.
However, he's not quite as angry as some yanderes would be about it. He doesn't take your escape personally, no, he blames himself, only calculating his own mistakes as to how it happened. He sees you as something like... a little runaway pet, so naive and dull that you don't know any better than to go wandering off. Or perhaps like a child, just sheepishly curious and wanting to explore, not knowing the dangers of the world. Or, perhaps...
"I haven't been giving you enough attention, have I? That's why you pulled this little act of rebellion... you're hurt by my negligence and wanted to be reassured of my care for you. I'm so sorry... I understand now, love. This was my fault. I've been so caught up with work... I'll delegate some tasks to my workers, and I'll be able to spend more time with you from now on, alright? Don't worry, I'm not angry, I'll take full responsibility. I'll be sure to make it up to you... now, let's go home."
How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?
Much like Childe or Venti or anyone who has been around as long as he has, you really don't stand a chance. He's an incredibly perceptive man. There's not much to say on the matter, as any attempts will be quickly shut down.
He'd find it amusing, really. Like a child trying to lie, but the evidence is all over their face and hands - it's that obvious to him. It's cute enough that he almost hates having to discipline you for it, but, you have to learn.
How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?
He wants his little angel to be safe - and unfortunately, you, being so naive and empty headed, don't always know what's best for you. He knows rules can be hard to follow perfectly, but they're there to keep you safe.
Extremely strict, will want to monitor every moment of your life, every little movement you take, and will insist on watching over you in every task. He'll pick out everything you wear, everything you eat.
Occasionally, if you ask very sweetly, he may take you out for walks in Liyue. Honestly, he'd be lying if he said he didn't enjoy taking you to what he knows are the finest locations, shops with the highest level of craftsmanship, restaurants with a high price tag and reputable food. He enjoys showing off his refined tastes and discerning selective abilities. And honestly? There's a certain... Powerful feeling to knowing you're made aware of the costs when he makes high purchases in front of you... even if you don't realize he's not always actually the one paying for it, or that he forgot mora again but promises the owner to pay later - but he'll make sure you don't know that. You hear the numbers, and your eyebrows raise, your eyes widen. You'd nearly faint if that total was on your responsibility, and he knows that. Which is why he'll simply smile at you, and tell you you're worth every last Mora. He'll buy you nearly anything you may desire. It seems like leniency, but in reality, it's his subtle way of locking control and dependency over you, making you respect him, making you love him.
"Don't worry, love. It's not a lot... Not to me, at least. Even if it were, my angel only deserves the best, no?"
What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?
Oh dear. Again, he's very strict, and wants to monitor everything you do, every little aspect of your life. He decides what you eat, portioning your meals to make sure you're eating enough, he worries about you going hungry during your travels, but luckily you'll never have to worry about that again. If you have a sweet tooth, he'll sigh and worry about your teeth and health, but he'll make sure to account for a little bit of sugar in your day, and will even pick up little treats from some of the most reputable places in Liyue.
He picks out clothes for you with each day. They're not... Normal clothes, per se. Certainly not what you'd normally wear on your travels. And it's not like anyone will see you except him - which is exactly why you'll have clothes he would never want anyone else to see you in. Frilly, lacey things, somehow both highly sexualized but also incredibly infantile, soft pinks, baby blues, gentle off-whites. They accentuate the curves of your body so perfectly, while just barely letting him see the parts of you normally kept hidden.
You'll have a schedule - a bath time, a bedtime, a wake-up time. He's weak to your requests, though, and may let you stay up a little late every now and then, or sleep in just a bit, if you make that soft pouting face and beg. He'll insist on bathing you, dressing you, so that you don't have to - and can't even if you wanted to - lift a finger even to wash yourself or put your clothes on.
He has a set of rules for you, very simple ones he hopes you can easily follow. No trying to leave. No doing anything dangerous. No talking to strangers when you go out. You must hold his hand whenever you're walking together, don't go wandering off.
He'll feel ashamed of the thought for a while, but eventually he'll cave and give into the desire, no, the security precaution, of a nice little collar for you. It's not too embarrassing, no, he went out of his way to find one that was delicate, almost like a necklace, made with fine materials, the engraving only visible up close. If you look closely, though, it clearly bears his name.
Breaking the rules is expected, he anticipates it. You're not the brightest, he might even view it as a mistake. A benefit is that you can easily pass it off as simply forgotten, or an accident. Hence, he's not too harsh - normally. He'll sigh, forgive you, and pat your head, contemplating how to prevent your access in the future.
Perhaps you wriggled out of his hand and ran off while walking? You were just excited, distracted, like a child. He might be able to procure a small leash, one that wouldn't be immediately obvious or embarrassing, to attach to your collar. Perhaps some cuff-like links to latch your arm to his.
You forgot the rule about not handling the kitchen knives and cut yourself? He'll have to get some kind of lock and simply keep them safely away from you. No big deal. Any measures are worth your safety.
If you push the limits, or have a defiant attitude, he might reach the point of punishment. As for not-unwholesome things, this would usually include taking away privileges, such as walks or sweets, but overall, punishment will mostly come in more impure forms.
How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?
Not too much to say here - he has connections. He doesn't need to dirty his own hands. For all his supposed humility, if he truly dislikes someone, they're no more significant than an insect to him. He has no reservations about ridding the world of people who, in his mind, are obviously trying to deceive you, abuse you, corrupt you.
Thankfully, he is very capable of keeping a neutral face, even when he feels laughter building up. It would probably look strange if he were smiling over the newest body to come into his parlor.
How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?
It's a slow buildup. He views restraint as a virtue, and looks down upon those who lack control over their own tempers. He's a man who strives to meet his own standards of character, and that very much applies to self control and ability to maintain a controlled demeanor, even when he feels a bit of frustration due to you being intentionally and deliberately defiant.
It's his responsibility to be a good role model for you and make sure you understand how to behave. However, in the end, he's very keen on properness and rules. If you have a tendency towards brattiness and pushing your limits, you may drive him to a boiling point.
However, even when expressing his anger, he's remarkably controlled. It's very mature, really. Nonetheless, he will have you shivering and tearful with his voice alone, booming with that depth that reverberates off the walls, that vibrates against your very core. His true anger is one that can strike fear even in the most courageous individuals - he's terrifying when he wants to be, fierce and intimidating, a sort of power just eminates from him.
Nonetheless, it's quick, he calms down very quickly, wipes the tears from your eyes, and sighs.
"I do hate having to be firm with you... but I can't have you thinking you can just act however you want. You understand that, don't you?"
So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?
Both? It's difficult to describe. You're an angel to him. You're the finest work of art, the most intricate creation, the kind of person whose body and likeness deserves to be preserved in art and tradition, one of those women who should be renowned for beauty even centuries long after you're gone from the earth. It's almost goddess-like. At the same time, there's a beautiful, tragic duality to your essence, he thinks. A fragility and a dependency that leaves you in need, but an inherent status of perfection that makes you deserve the utmost perfect of care. You need to be coddled, cared for, protected, but you deserve it. Like a deity incarnated into a mere fragile human form, a queen that needs support to retain her grace.
Unlike some, he doesn't view his care and protection as some kind of favor that should be repaid with your gratitude, no, really, he is grateful that he is the one who is even deserving of being your caretaker, your provider, your lover.
Even if he is the one who determined that he deserves that role.
How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?
He's convinced that he can show you that he is your protector, your lover, that it's fate itself that has locked you together, not just his own will.
And he is, above all else, patient. One of the most patient you could encounter. You think a year is a long time? It's nothing to him. A century for you? More than a lifetime. For him? Nothing. He can and will wait, as long as it takes, and he will never falter in his continual care. He'll remind you frequently, he'll shower you in affection, but if you don't return it? It's not that bad. He has all the time in the world to fix you.
Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?
Moraless Sugar daddy
But in all seriousness, he is definitely of the gift-giving love language. He sees beautiful things, and beautiful things make him think of you! It's sweet, he thinks. So many little things he sees throughout his day make him think of you, and he has to have all of them, see your face when he gives them to you. He likes making you happy, for one, but he'd be lying if he said there wasn't a sort of satisfactory pride he gets from the power dynamic of it all. He wants to be the sole source of provision in your life, he wants your dependency.
If we're talking prior to the events of the game, it will be even more extreme. He treats it like it's truly nothing, throwing around massive purchases, seemingly as if he's not thinking about it at all. But he is - rest assured, he's taking it into consideration, at least, that is, how it will affect your attitude and perception of him.
General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?
On the reserved side. He'd never conduct himself improperly in public, of course. It's out of the question. He cares about proper behavior and public image, and he'd never behave in a vulgar manner.
Even in private, he's certainly one of the ones that struggles with a certain guilt. To some degree, he would feel like you're so innocent and pure that he doesn't want to corrupt you. He goes through stages. First, he'll lie to himself, telling himself that the feelings he has for you are simply protective, platonic, a natural sense of responsibility for you. That becomes more and more difficult to convince himself of, the more excited he becomes around you, the more he finds his eyes drawn to whatever bits of skin are exposed on your body, finding himself drifting off to impure thoughts, trying to push them away. 
Second, once he's forced to acknowledge the true nature of these feelings, he'll simply practice restraint, something he's rather good at in this area. He tries, he really does. He tells himself he can't do something so impure, that it would violate you, that he should be ashamed of himself for it. It becomes more and more and more difficult to restrain himself with time, the feelings rising and the thoughts become more difficult to push away, eventually entertaining the fantasies in his head in an attempt to rid himself of the urge in real life. It doesn't work, no, it only makes the urges worse, and he can't be around you without his body nearly commanding him to do something. And finally, he'll take a different stance entirely, telling himself that, no, it's not going to corrupt you, rather, it's taking care of you. If he really wants to love you, really wants to care for all of your needs, then surely that would include your physical needs, and therefore, really, it would be wrong of him not to help you.
As that shift in viewpoints goes on, he'll become more and more bold, hands lingering just a little longer, face coming just a little closer. It's a slow build of tension, just waiting to boil over. 
How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?
He understands you're nervous. Again, no matter how experienced you are, somehow in his head he makes it out to be insignificant. Even if you've had other relationships, he convinces himself - and tries to convince you - that they were inadequate, they didn't care about you, not like he does. And he'll treat it as that -- any resistance you put up is nervousness, nothing more, nothing less. He'll reassure you a million times that you won't feel pain, that he'll be gentle, that you'll feel good, even if his size and strength frankly is rather intimidating regardless of experience. He'll keep cooing in your ear, softly whispering reassurance, softly running hands over your skin, holding you in place as the last inch stretches you apart. 
What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?
Infantilization
Again, no matter how smart, experienced, and capable you may be, you're none of those things to him. You're a fragile, little thing. He has to take care of you at all times. It may not be evident at first, and he himself likely doesn't fully realize it, but there is something highly sexual to this for him. Caring for you puts him in a position of dominance, control. It gives him access to your privacy, dressing you up, fingers running over your skin, bathing you, watching your skin glisten. He'll talk to you in this way, too, often softly, remarking every little way in which you need him, and even condescendingly so. He wants you to be his, not only in a sense of love, but of possession.
Oral
Primarily giving. Even on its own, he loves the taste, but the effect it has on you makes it that much better. He loves anything that forces you to depend on him entirely for pleasure, that puts you at his mercy. And he'll be torturous about it too, restraining your arms and legs so you can't control anything, hold your hips down so you can't roll into him, so that only he can determine exactly how much pressure and speed you get. And he won't rush it, no, he'll go so slowly it's torturous, and telling you very simply that if you want any more, you'll have to beg.
Edging
For a variety of reasons. The power trip is as exhilarating as it is pleasurable, but he also loves watching your body writhe. Each little muscle that moves under the flesh when your arms strain against his hand holding your wrists together, the convulsing of your stomach muscles, the way your toes curl and legs spasm and the sweet little whimpers you make when he draws back just short of your high. He's mastered watching your reactions, knowing exactly when to stop, even if you try to mask it. He'll want you to tell him, though, nonetheless, tell him when you're close, if for nothing else but the sense of you obeying his commands.
Collaring
Similarly to infantilization, it gives him something of a sense of control, of possession. He loves seeing his name engraved on it, marking the whole of your being with his ownership. In his somewhat rare moments of roughness, he'll want to pull on it, use it to draw you towards him, in a moment of your defiance, in particular. If you're being mouthy, whiny, disobedient, and you finally make him snap, especially if you try to walk away from him, he'll yank you back with force, pulling you close to him, and when the force of it shuts you up, changes your demeanor, forces you to acknowledge your submission - the satisfaction he'll get from that is incomparable.
How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?
As much as he likes the idea, to him, you're already like a child, naive and fragile. Could your body even handle a pregnancy, a birth? He'd likely try to avoid it, but in the end, if it happened by accident anyway, rest assured you'd be getting the best care of any woman to ever be pregnant in Teyvat, and he'd do everything in his power to ensure you were always comfortable, taking his caretaking to another level, almost never even letting you get up, insisting you stay still and calm and needy.
What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?
He'd be one to pull the "it doesn't hurt you as much as it does me" line, but really, even if he refuses to admit it to his own self, having you bent over his lap is just as much for his own enjoyment as it is a disciplinary measure. It's more humiliating than it is painful -- he'd hold back, afraid of hurting you with his strength, but taking in every little flinch and whimper you make as he brings his hand down on your ass, keeping your head pressed down, kneading at the flesh. He'd insist it's the most effective punishment measure, but you can feel the hard-on digging into your stomach. The worse the behavior, the worse the beating, but every time, after it's over, he'll hold you upright, wiping the tears from your eyes and asking you if you learned you lesson, if you intend to do it again, and smiling when you insist you won't.
What body parts of their darling do they like the most?
Your skin. It's beautiful, and he loves the way that light from the moon and sun look on your naked form. He loves the way your skin feels, soft and delicate, smooth, so paper thin and fragile, and so, so deliciously prone to showing marks from the slightest of harm - a simple smack can make the plump flesh darkened and reddened, the lightest suckling will leave beautiful hickeys all down your neck and chest. There are so many ways to mark his property, to stake a visible claim all over you, it's irresistible.
He also will go out of his way, when picking out all the things he wants you to wear, to find colors that best go with your skin tone, in a contrasting sense - particularly lacey, sheer things that contrast very well, so he can see your soft flesh perfectly defined against the little lace patterns.
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Neon Silhouettes
Hello! I’m very happy to finally post this because ive been working on this for a month! This is serving as an entry to @ackermans-freedom-inc discord challenge. Behold it’s long!
Word Count: 10.538k, i’m not even sorry
Pairing: Eren/ Reader
Tags: a n g s t, vigilante!au
Warnings: blood, violence, major character death (? its open to interpretation) 
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In contrast to yours, Eren's breath is hot and tainted on the nape of your neck when you push him away from your form in an attempt to get more oxygen running through your system. The hazy high of your orgasm is mighty, similar to a fairytale like dream and makes all air around you run thin with each passing second. You're not sure if you're paying much attention to it, though, because your breath seems to be completely restored before you even think about catching up with it.
Eren makes a loud thud as he plops himself into the matress with his utmost enthusiastic moves. You can tell by his reactions that he enjoyed this intercourse even more than he'll ever admit -not that he's shy to ever do so- and that he seeks a way to relax himself from his own high. For that very reason, his hands are rather quick to pull you on his panting chest, just to provide some comfort for himself but in the process your silent plea to get a breather is long forgotten. You feel you head being smashed onto his smooth skin and you relax under the touch, thinking that you could cease this moment to fall into serenity as well.
With your heart still beating through your ribs though, you contemplate on whether or not falling into serenity now is a logical idea at all. Anxiety has planned seeds in your stomach ever since a few hours prior to your solo patrol in this area of Trost, merely at the thought of bumping into Eren. You had been practicing the words your comrades had assigned you to consider one too many times, and yet, the moment you laid eyes on Eren's helmet covered face your nervousness had worked wonders on turning them into thin air. It had happened so fast that you wondered if this was an actual new power you could posses.
Nevertheless, the anxiety is back now and it's growing its bindweeds in the pits of your stomach. A chapped piece of your lip is stuck under your front teeth, ready to be ripped off as your fingers are mimicking a walk, up and down on Eren's chest. You're not sure if you can talk and consequentially, the thin piece of flesh is ripped away from your lips forcefully, allowing the thin, iron like taste of blood to conquer your senses.
And in the moment it's all you can focus on.
It's always like this when it comes to Eren and yours passionate rendezvous; your mind is drenched of any thought other than him, your heart ceases to pulse inside your body and your legs feel like the most trashy, inexpensive jello -yes the one you ought to find at random 7/11s in the middle of nowhere after a long night of patrol when you're so hungry that your stomach feels likes its going to burst throughout your mouth canal. And yes, you've tried to restrain yourself from feeling this way, but it's not easy, especially when Eren's hand comes to tangle its way through your hair, scratching softly at your roots.
Clicking your tongue in your mouth though, you can't help but let your mind wander just for you to realise it's been so long since you've had said trashy jello dessert. It's not like you exactly miss it -no, you wouldn't say you did, its taste was atrocious- but it's nostalgic to think about your debut days as a younger superhero. Especially when you think about that it was due to that that you met Eren.
The thought that feasts on your brain though is nothing more than a projection of everyone's nostalgia of Eren, not only yours. The only reason he's laying underneath you with his right hand bent under his head and catching his heavy breaths as his chest basically pulsates and squirms under your form is because you've chosen to dance in that dark sewer of a world that is the reality of anti heros. Everyone who knows about you and Eren -mostly Levi and Mikasa- have pushed you over the edge of trying to shake him off of his criminal killing rampage, but you know him better than anyone. Thus, in reality, you don't know about whether you should utter that little speech that's at the tip of your tongue.
You nervously chew onto that tiny piece of flesh you've ripped from your lip for over a minute before you dare to try and think about what to do with it. Swallowing seems like a good option, the thought of spitting it like a bitten off nail unsettles you to a certain extent, plus you're not sure if bitten flesh activates Eren's titan senses. You never truly know what triggers people with titan powers and you're not about to risk it. Ironically, that's exactly how you're feeling when it comes to your thoughts but after you feel the teeny bundle of flesh go down your throat your mouth washes the taste of iron away and parts to your brain's command.
"Eren?" You breath out, your eyes despairately trying to fixate on anything other than his form.
Eren's finger is harsh and calloused to the touch as it mellowy grazes the soft skin on the underside of your wrist. Your eyes are finally fixed to the circling movements and though you want to give in the the long for sleep your eyelids suddenly ache for, your mind, much allured by how serene everything feels, pushes you to protest against it. There's nothing you can do about your fast mouth though; resenting it hasn't ever seemed like the way to go through with it.
"Yeah, baby?" Eren half moans to your direction.
You notice how he shifts his form comfortably from underneath you, obviously in search of the perfect sleeping position. Naturally this should have kept you back from speaking further; well this and the fact that he isn't exactly expecting what you're about to say, but nonetheless you swallow hard and bite on the inside of your cheek before you open your mouth to speak once again.
"Can we talk about it, lovey?" You hesitate with the nickname, yet when you utter it you know you dont regret its sappy nature.
"About it?"
"You know," you trail off "About the Titans case."
"What is there to talk about? We'll sort the case out one and for all, we've agreed on it."
Well of course, for both you and Eren, and probably every other person in this world, this case is something that should permanently close. It only seems fair, all those years that you've spent being hunted by those monsters are starting to put an overwhelming amount of weight into modern superheros and anti-heros alike. Everyone basically had the same goal concerning this case, yet people are still split as to how it should be closed.
Eren says it's fitting for The Titans to pay for their sins with more blood than they have managed to spill; they're a top crime syndicate that focuses on abducting humans and mutating them into bloodlusting monsters, just for the purposes of creating their own sick and twisted army of mindless pawns. Eren, having fallen an indirect victim of their brutality stands by his beliefs and won't let a titan standing on their feet when he encounters one.
But he wasn't always like this. Not exactly
Back in the day when he worked as Levi's sidekick, he wouldn't brutalize them to the point where they'd bleed to death, but he would make sure they weren't going ever be healed again, not even if they were ever given an antidote. His falling out with Levi and your team of superheroes though, followed by the brutal murder of his mother had withered Eren's psyche with tormentous force.
You furrow your brows as your mind travels back to those dark memories, dipping into necessary pieces of information that need to be composed in some way for you to reply to him. Ironically, it was when Eren turned his back on your team that you found some major leads as to who run the Titans and possibly even why.
"We'll sort the case," you say "but I don't think you should be murdering them."
Eren takes the hand that acts as a comforter over your harshly and pinches the bridge of his nose as he exhales in disapproval. You know, his face must be scrunched in misery right now, brows puckered over his nose and eyes firmly closed shut. You can listen to his heart and in turn you feel the buzzing his pulse makes as it speeds up a tad.
"We've talked about this. You do you. And I do me."
For a moment you contemplate on whether you want to use your psychic superpowers on him. To think that you can change his mindset is an enchanting thought; in fact right now, it's so alluring that you feel the familiar awakening of your powers rush through your veins. It feels like cotton candy colored poison -that's probably the best way you can describe it according to other psychic's. Your powers, as naive and endearing they may seem can easily flip the cards on you at any given moment of weakness; it's like your natural instincts awaken with a mind of their own to protect and help their host. But it's merely unethical and dictating to force such change on your beloved as much as it is to do so on the next person.
Your mouth puckers to the right as you let your brain roam over every single possible outcome that this conversation can have, yet you never even flinch on Eren's chest, sternly refusing to let your body react to his words. One wrong reaction and Eren's hotheadedness will bite you in the ass.
"Dont be like that, (y/n)." Eren says
You have to admit he's catching you off guard when his hand comes to move your chin to point at his direction. It's his checkmate move and he knows it, blinking his real eyes into yours, he frees his brows from their gathering, leaving small red lines as reminders of his temper behind. You on the other hand, with your short hitched breaths and that constipated look on your face though you can't help but predict his next sarcastic plea.
"Don't look at me like that."
You cough that little angry, hot huff of air that's trapped inside your lungs for oh so long before you plough your elbows under your face to support your form in order to face him. You never detach yourself from him and you don't plan on doing so, this is probably the only way to make him feel that you take into consideration all his boiling bad blood.
"You know damn well why I'm looking at you like that."
"I do." He shrugs casually and then proceeds to shut his eyes in despair "but you're not here to question my means." Eren sighs in defeat as the words come out of him and proceeds to wrap his arm around you again.
However you pucker your eyebrows further, bringing them impossibly closer to your eyes as you boil the words you seek to speak in the back of your throat "I'm not questioning them. I'm resenting them. I'm not even playing the goody superhero on you, but really why are you doing this?"
You never fail to notice how Eren bites the inside of his cheek or how he clenches his grip on you almost like a silent warning at to what territory you're opting to walk into, but you ignore it, sighing all the way through your mouth hoping that the little oxygen you can fill your lungs with is enough to get you through this.
"Everyone misses you. Don't you care about that?"
Does he? Eren wants to believe that whatever he's doing he's doing it because all of you are excessively significant to him. I all honesty he is fuming over the fact that you don't see how this is the only inevitable option. He hates for his alter ego to be called a mass murderer in the news every other day just as much as he hates the fact that people choose to see a redeemable side to human flesh eating mutants.
"If I don't do what I do, history is going to repeat it self." He spits, harshly enough that he's sure you won't reply just yet. "You and this pretentious superhero facade are not going to be here to live it down with me though."
He watches as your face contorts in surprise as his words fall, your mouth snapping open in order to utter your quick fetched reply but he cuts you off with an even harsher tone this time.
"I'm clearing the world from all this alright? There are many people that do so as well-"
"Who? Flotch and Yelena?" You cut him off, but still he brushes it off.
With a shift in your movements you're on your back, your arms moving mechanically to grab onto the covers to bring them onto your bare chest. Eren can read the action all too well and he hates it, he hates it enough that he runs his hands painfully through his hair, despairate to get them away from the burning skin on his neck. Anxiety has worked wonders on his body, he figures.
"You, Levi, Mikasa, Jean, Connie! Want me to throw more names in your face? Me and my team finish off what you guys chicken out to do." Eren's voice is calm yet his tone is drenched in poison, that mellow sound he makes when he re opens his mouth is what's pushing you over the edge, making your blood boil inside your body. It causes you to wrap your fingers tightly onto the blanket that covers your chest, your fists turning white as you clench on it with full force. As if it can help you concentrate all of your anger on the spot.
Naturally, it can't.
"We're not chickening out Eren, we focus on containing all evil, not annihilating it. To think you can do that-"
"I can-" Eren cuts you off, though you won't let him continue until you get your point across.
"You must be really dumb to carry that mindset. What happens after you annihilate the titans, will you do the same for any other similar crime syndicate? Or are your motives personal only when it comes to this one?"
Eren bites on the sides of his tongue with a piercing force and swallows hard on the bitterweet spit that forms due to the action. He forcefully tosses his head to both left and right to shake away any unwanted thought out of his mind but it hurriedly proves to be fruitless. As much as he has liked to think that you can get past that fight on your morals one day, it's obvious to him that it's a fundamental dynamic between the two of you. It's a concrete wall that's none of you can or are willing to try to go through. And he doesn't like that, not one bit.
"Don't try to boss me into your beliefs." His eyes widen as he speaks, voice tainted in a growling anger that he can feel cooking inside his chest.
"I'm not bossing you Eren, stop acting like this."
"Why are you so fucking hang up on this now out of all times?" He spits more so that questions.
"We're so close to catching Zeke and your team is close to doing so as well, I'm just worried." You admit, shyly loosening the clenched cover from your fist in fear of ripping it. "I want us to be a normal couple after this. I care about you."
Your mind is fogged with animalistic rage, yet you still manage to swallow it down, past that lump in the back of your throat that tik dangerously on your clock and threatens to burst. It's only when you try to show the nature of your thoughts and intentions that you watch Eren's face finally contort in rage that's much similar to yours. You fall back for a brief moment, allowing him to take advantage of the silence in the room to answer back to you.
"When I catch Zeke I'm not sparing him."
Eren lets the breath that's trapped in the depths of his chest out before it manages to suffocate him. Thinking about Zeke and how he's standing opposite to him makes him feel sick to the stomach, but he has accepted that it's only just his luck that his half brother happens to be working for the titans. Accepting that Zeke wants to collect all nine original titans for the syndicate to use as they wish has been a hard task to do so, he can admit to that much but he's swore to never let his connection to the man hold him back from putting an end to this misery.
"Eren don't be so stubborn." You plea, brows impossibly covering your eyes as your voice reeks of rage.
"I'm not, quit playing the rightful hero and maybe we can have this conversation when you'll be able to see things from my side."
He can see that you're drowning in your own words, fighting to find the right syllabuses to utter, but he refuses to give you any time, his own rage is ticking like a bomb, he can feel his stomach growling in the familiar numbness anger casts upon his organs and he knows he can't hold back.
"Do what you gotta do, but I'm ending them, I'll fight your team too if I have to get to what needs to be done."
"Oh yeah?" You let out an amused, angry chuckle before continuing "You'll fight me?"
"Gladly!" Eren spits, his eyes wide as his eyebrows twitch in determination.
"Don't say things you can't take back. Don't be an asshole."
"Last time I checked the definition of an asshole was someone who won't support their partner in their decisions, whether they agree with them or not."
You glance towards Eren's drawer, fuming to the point you struggle to control your powers. Your breath is refusing to regulate even if you beg for it to work the way you want it to, causing you to try and think of the most possibly rational plan to get your self out of this situation. You can't stand looking at Eren for the time being, any glance at his side is making you fume to the point your insides coil making you think you're going to start emitting smoke.
"Fuck! Fuck! You won't even try to understand me, I don't even know what I'm doing with you."
You have a small drawer filled with your clothes at Eren's place and he has one in yours. Convently, you've persuaded him to keep a superpower restraining collar in case either of you ever go out of control, which seems to be the case for you now. Eren's last words are poisoning you, burning their way inside your veins. Thus reaching the collar becomes your ultimate goal in the moment; you resent the extend in which your own powers can reach and you refuse to cause more drama by hurting Eren without intending to.
Your ears fall deaf to what Eren is fuming about, its necessary to try and keep ignoring him if you want to focus on completing this simple task. Your head is spinning, lost in the dark colored vertigo you've entered in your effort to focus on your goal. Pushing past it is vital in any case you want to prevent anything from happening. With the sudden swing of your wrist the drawer bursts open with force, the small amount of clothes inside are shot to the ceiling.
The metallic collar shines under the light as it stands proudly in the air as clothes continue to practically spill to any direction. Your stretched fingers make a half turn, as if signing the way to you to the object, your thumb shoting as far back as it can physically can go while your pinky stands inches away from the edge of your palm and your wrist. Your heart is hammering inside your chest for the remaining seconds it takes for the object to come to you and though, even if it's coming to you at full force and speed any passing moment feels like an eon.
You almost manage to sigh in relief as the metal touches tour throat but the action is cut short the moment your breath suddenly hitches reflexively. The collar fails to wrap around your throat and click in place, rather than that its resting in Eren's palm. The veins in his arm are twitching much expectly; he's using all of his force to hold the collar back, fighting your control over the object with his inhuman strength, still you won't let go of your hold either, not caring as to what is going to happen to the object, it won't last for long with all this strength force upon it, you're sure of that.
"If you want to me to respect you enough to fight with you, you won't enslave yourself with none of these fucking shits. Handle your powers on your own."
Your eyes are twitching, your forehead finally giving in to an endless amount of sweaty droplets. There's a throb mirrored by your pulse in the edge of your neck and you throw your head back in defeat before you even manage to think about it. The collar crumbles and smashes in Eren's palm under his grip, the metal cracking slightly as his skin twitches and burns in protest.
"I want us to be free of this, you think if get my hands dirty if it wasn't supposed to end in a way that I expected and calculated meticulously?"
Despite the fact that Eren is spitting those facts, you manage to distinguish the true intention of his choice of words, pushing past his harsh tone. It's unfair that you chose to anger him to such extend, you're angry as well but you come to realise that it's only because you are both afraid. Eren is afraid if losing you and his friends to the hands of another titan and you're afraid to lose Eren in the hands of his bloodlust. The collision between good or bad is only what you try to mask your fears with; what you see as bad and evil, Eren does so as well. Your perspective only changes as to how you view the means to reach the rightful good.
War can't exist without peace and peace can't exist without war.
You think back to what you told him earlier and in a snap you realise that for the time being, that's just about as normal as the two of you can get. An anti hero with his hands clenching a crushed power restraining collar, because he detests anything that strips people off their freedom and their given right to it, and a concerned superhero with her head thrown back in deafeat, giving up on trying to get a so called noble point across. In a way, both you and Eren have chosen this when you decided to take a shared path despite the fundamental differences on your beliefs.
And for a moment you think you're going to get past it. All couple have fights, all couples gets enraged with each other at least once in their span of time but they always manage to bounce back and stand on their feet next to each other. You're not exactly sure if Eren is standing right next to you or if he's opposed to you both literally and mentally but you relax back in the comforter thinking that you'll get an answer in a moment.
Eren's breaths are finally starting to regulate and he can't help but take notice of you slipping inside the comforter, your head hitting the pillow with a muffled thud. His long bangs are sprawled over his face, some fine chocolate hairs tingling the sensitive skin on his nose, some of their edges tickling at his fleshy lips. His mind is blurry, so blurry that he refuses to acknowledge the hand that is still clinging onto the collar, his posture is finally fixed on the bed before he decides to slide down in a movement so that he can lay right next to you.
"I'm sorry." He speaks first, his left hand forming into a fist as it lands on his forehead, pressing with its back on the throbbing veins and nerves that beg to release some of the tention they have gathered.
"I shouldn't have brought it up, it's my fault."
"Seems like we can't meet halfway when it comes to this." He hazes.
“No” 
Sighing, you sink further into the matress, raising your hand to mimic Eren’s actions to cover your face with the back of your hand. You chirp a little sound of misery as you do so, finding hard to swallow down through the knot that has formed in your throat.
"Is this it?" You ask, your voice barely louder than a whisper "Is this how it's going to be for us?"
"If you think I'm going to give up on my beliefs for you then I have some bad news."
Eren turns his head to you, sternly fixing his teal eyes in yours while his jaw is clenching, his bottom lip trembling and worrying as he chews on his words. A hitched sigh exits your nose as your eyes start burning I'm their attempt to hold back tears, the corners of your lips curving downwards causing your button lip to pucker sourly. You keep on staring at Eren and he keeps staring back at you, both of your chests heaving with short chopped breaths. You don't dare touch each other, not right now when you can't hold back your emotions, but you can definitely see how hurt he looks just as much as he can do the same for you.
"Well I can't turn my back on mine either." You choke, not daring to part your mouth enough for the words to exit correctly.
"Maybe you should just-" Eren opens his mouth, twitching out the words before he manages to mumble them "go."
The tears that threaten to spill from the corners of your eyes are finally flowing, running in burning hot streaks past your nose before landing cold onto your ear. You hate it, you hate the moist sensation on your cornch and you hate that Eren's eyes never fail to notice every single tiny droplet that fall from your lips.
His constipated expression won't scatter away from his face, rather than that it only hardens as he tried to hold back and onto those tiny pools in the corners of is eyes.
He wants to speak, you know because he keeps opening his mouth to do so, but the only sounds he emits are deep growls of pain. He doesn't know how to feel about them, you've seen him cry numerous times, yet this heartbreak seems so inevitably painful to endure on his own. It's another love he has to bid goodbye because of those godamn titans and it's even more painful that he knows that by annihilating them, he'll never be able to claim you as his anymore.
He'd rather clear the world for you to live peaceful and free though.
...
The sound of your fists colliding with the back leather of a boxing sack fills the air, bouncing in between the gray marble colored walls of the headquarters. The room you're in is soundproof, causing the sound to linger in the air as you pant, holding your sour spit in your mouth as you throw another punch and kick to the sack. Sweat drips from your forehead and onto the mat beneath you yet you make no movement in trying to wipe it off, you simply let it drip while picking up your foot in order to flip it onto the dummy.
"Easy there now"
When Jean's hand comes to rest on your shoulder giving you a little comforting squeeze, you jump on your spot, startled much by the sudden action. For a moment you avoid turning your head to face him; despite the amount of mellow warmth and comfort his touch provides you with, you don't feel like you can regulate that rush of adrenaline that pumps through your veins.
Your fists, numb by the raw force you've used to launch punches to the boxing sack before you are now inevitably frozen, hugging the dummy with enough strength to make it fall in place. As the sound of the metallic chain clashing fills the air your nostrils snort hot huffs of air, your eyes squinting shut as your brows remain furrowed to forbid any drop of sweat from running down to your face. Jean inspects your constipated expression as he moves around, taking small steps as he approaches you from this new position, finally coming to face you with an understanding smile.
"I noticed you're pushing your self a lot lately." He says, his hand coming to squeeze on your shoulder once again. He presses his lips into a thin line, the action making his straight nose scrunch slightly.
"It's fine." You snark "I could use some excessive combat training to be honest. Mikasa said you and her can help someday."
"Okay then! Let's spare now." Jean says enthusiastically and his hands come to his sides, his fists clenched as a smug expression appears on his face "Ditch the dummy."
Nonetheless you snicker in response. Bringing your finger to your temple, you awkwardly scratch on the tender skin at the tail of your eyebrow. Next, your hands come to your loose ponytail, giving a little tag at the elastic loop that's used to hold them in place, pulling it down to the ends of your hair.
"Sorry, not in the mood." You bite, but Jean is irritatingly not ready to give up on you just yet.
"Weren't you just splitting your knuckles, punching that sack? Like, a few seconds ago? Drop the emo attitude and show me what you got."
Kissing your teeth you bow down, aiming to go for the towel you've neatly folded on your foamy work out mat, taking it carefully in your hands in order to bring it to your sweat dripping face. While crossing his hands to his chest, Jean throws you his signature expression of disapproval -yes, the one he liked to throw at Eren while calling him a suicidal bastard and yes, if Mikasa, not just anyone, asked him he'd admit to having missed the particular interaction with your now ex boyfriend. The male sighs, parting his mouth open, ready to utter what he thinks will help you.
"If it helps, I've been saying Eren is a dick from the very start, I'm sorry you had to be convinced of the fact in such way."
Its your turn to throw him a disapproving look now.
Jean, similarly to the next person, knows how much you hate talking about /that/ fateful night with Eren. The wound is still fresh -whether or not it took place a few weeks ago, the pain of being ripped away from your lover over your ideals isn't a wound that's easy to close and additionally it's rather hard when you know nothing can come of an attempt to reconcile. But Jean can't just silently stand to watch you destroy your self and your relationships with people who care about you.
Each passing day you trade your words for mumbles and grunts, your signs of affection into powerful punches aimed either at that old black dummy you were hugging a few seconds or at a vast amount of metas during nighttime patrols. Knowing you and how you handle such outrages, Jean is sure that at this point you've smashed your fists against each and every single one of these gray marble colored walls, only holding back your self as to not smash Armin's tech corner. But before he gets a chance to shake his head in the slightest only to get ready to mouth his comfort speech to you, the automatic glass doors to the room open.
Turning his head around, Jean is met with Connie and Armin as they enter the room, both of them sparing him their most confused look upon inspecting the scene unraveling before them. Jean shrugs his shoulders, throwing his hands up in defeat, his eyes traveling quickly between you and his friends, signaling them you're proving to be difficult to deal with once again.
As the door behind him closes with a woosh Connie sucks on the inside of his cheek, trapping the tender gum between his teeth, his lips puckering slightly as he looks at you, his otherwise playful eyes now squinted in worry.
"What?" You speak, pressing your lips together and pushing them to the side of your face. Reluctantly, you cock a brow to Connie's direction.
"Me?" With his thumb to exaggerate the word, Connie points to himself and the proceeds to take a few steps towards Jean. Finally, he bends his hand, resting his fist over his hip, throwing his weight onto one leg. "You're the one with the constipated expression."
"Give me a break everyone" you shrug, shaking your head in defeat.
"Sasha said you pushed yourself too far last night during patrol."
"Yeah, so what?" You ask, batting your eyes to the male trio. You're probably as unamused as they are at this point.
You notice how Armin is the one to let out a sigh next, his blonde hair swaying by the force of air that exits his mouth. He's angrily clapping his foot to the ground while clenching his fists to his sides, his baby blue eyes fixated on you. You bring the top of your finger to your head, scratching the skin just below your ear, your foot awkwardly rocking back and forth. It's almost as if no one in the room can avoid the the upcoming conversation right now.
All Armin sees is that your lip is split, bruised much like your eyebrow and a part of your jaw. There's a lot of dried blood on each tiny wound, but the amount is enough to make up for the lack of proper patching and the sight is heartbreaking to the point it makes the blond's blood boil. If Armin could find it in himself to utter a word he would be able to name a good amount of reasons as to why he was enraged with you. One of them being the fact that you've been brutalizing yourself in the streets every night and another one that you've been definitely pushing yourself even more during training, aiming to shut yourself off of your team completely.
"Armin, if you have something to say, then just shoot it."
The way you poke at him is reluctant and nervous in nature. Your jaws clutch together, your shivering teeth making tiny chattering sounds. Armin parts his lips, placing a hand on the gray colored wall behind him, hanging his head down in nervousness. In all reality, he shouldn’t speak his mind, he knows that very well, his personal empathetic feelings for Eren don’t exactly have a reason to have an impact in this situation. Furthermore he’s simply the intel guy, the only member of the team in the team that doesn’t participate in any heroic or vigilantic activity. To interfere with your nightime business would probably harm him more than anyone in the end. As your friend he had to take a stance on what you were going through.
“We’ve all been hurt by Eren.” That’s all that Armin manages to say before putting his feet to work, matching silently to his computer corner, “But, that’s why we are a team. We’re supposed to hold each other when things go wrong. And you need us as much as we need you.”
Rubbing your eyes with your pointer fingers, you let out a deep sigh. When you look up Connie and Jean are half smiling at you, their thumbs pointing upwards and for a fragment of a second, you manage to crack a small smile. You feel your eyes burning slightly, their fleshy corners stinging, but you refuse to let yoyr tears flow now, despite being moved by your friends’ word and noble intentions you keep your emotional breakdown to yourself. You only hope the males are convinced by your small smile.
“Armin has the intel on Zeke’s cargo shipment!” Connie says and immediately his ribs are crushed by Jean’s elbow. “What?”
“Stupiid. We’re not supposed to stress her!”
“It’s fine guys, this is our job.”
Connie links his arm with yours, your sweaty skin littering his long sleeve shirt but he pays the action absolutely no mind, not as much as you at least, and then he proceeds to stick his tongue out to Jean. Jean twitches his eyebrow at him, seemingly irritated by his friend’s smug expression and picks up his feet, marching as fast as you do, trying to catch up. The playful atmosphere is lifting you up, you can definately feel your previous mood lighten by each passing second.
“Speak Armin!” Connie playfully dictates squeishing your elbow in the process.
Armin lets out a laugh, fixing his glasses on the bridge of his nose, his eyes glimmering under the bright blue light of the numerous screens.
“Fine, look,” he says clicking on a tab on the middle screen’s task manager The tab pops up, shining a bright white light thats making your eyes squint. Armin then clicks on some folders and signs at you to wait until the images load. When in turn they pop up, they reveal numerous hsots of the titans new hideaway. Some photos are showing Zeke and his gang standing before it, then entering it. You even catch a glimpse of Pieck, the flash of raven hair is much more evident now that shes standing between her blonde team members.
“Do we have the adress?” Jean asks and you can’t help but notice that the look in his eyes is darkening in an a mere instant.
“It’s in alleyway near the port. Although the front is standing proudly on a very well lit place in 6th Avenue.” You nod steadily, sliding your hand upwards to give a comforting touch to Connie’s fingers that are still linked to the inside of your elbow. “Levi gave me the intel to investigate, he came across them the other day and then he searched for security cameras, you know the drill.”
Jean raises his voice authoritatively and sternly as he points to some photos, informing Armin that he needs to investiagte the area around them and prompts you an Connie to do the same as well. He says that it’s necessary to know the area you’ll be oparating on in the following days. You simply nod, extending yor hand to Armin’s direction to point in which pictures you want him to send you and he does as you say not even giving it a second thought.
“Please don’t send them to Eren.”
You pretend to be shocked, but in reality you're not. You understand where Armin is coming from when he mouths the statement, but you assure him that you won't try to communicate with Eren for any reason. You're in no place to put yourself through such thing, not now, not until your job is done.
...
Pushing on his feet, Eren rushes all of his power to his heels, sending his self in the air. He takes a spin mid air, opening his arms wide on either of his sides after he grabs one the guns that rest on the cases that are tied to his breeches. He manages to grab a new line of bullets moments before he lands and he proceeds to shove it to the butt of the gun, the action sending the loud sound of metal colliding filling the air.
As expectedly, he lands on his feet. The annoying rush of his whole body weight on his heels doesn't bother him anymore, he's grown so used to it that it's become a routine. He throws a quickly glance behind him, making sure Flotch and Yelena are right behind him, running silently on their own pace, jumping from building to building.
"Yelena!" Eren shouts "I'm leaving Pieck and Porco to you. Go for the kill the moment you see an opening. And Flotch" he turns his head to the redhead, his voice reeked in authority even though it was muffled by his metallic helmet "Don't let any hero follow my tracks. No casualties. We're proving a point."
Flotch nods rapidly without uttering another word and spares a look to Yelena before they take turns to opposite directions. Eren continues to run straight ahead, his heavy combat boots clashing with various rooftops as he stomps on each one of them with force.
He immediately stops on his tracks as he catches a glimpse of blond hair in an alley. Peaking his head from the edge of a rooftop, he clicks on the side of his helmet, pushing the button that allowed the goggle feature in his helmet to activate.
Zooming in he sees you, your hands clad in an x above your head as you try to avoid the metallic rock like weapons Zeke is throwing at you with full force. Your left foot is thrown back, fully extended while your right leg is bent, your position providing stability as you try to push past and through Zeke's attack.
Through the distracting commotion, Zeke manages to get close enough to you and Eren watches as he lifts his left leg up, getting ready to clash it onto your head. Eren knows, Zeke's force can easily knock you out for several minutes; if he can break through walls with raw fists, Eren can't even phantom what the full capacity of his brute attack can do to your head.
Eren hisses to himself as he stands on his knees, clenching his fists to himself. Quickly enough the skin under his gloves hardens, forming an iron like material over his knuckles. He briefly makes sure they'd hard enough for the attack he has calculated in his mind by rubbing over his knuckles tenderly.
He inhales a good amount of air, his chest filling to the max as he tried on concentrating on his breathing. Regulating his heartbeat is important but he doesn't have enough time, Zeke is in the midst of throwing another wave of metallic rocks in your way. Suddenly Eren stands on his feet for a brief moment before proceeding to take a jump into the alleyway.
The next thing he knows is that his hardened fist lands exactly where he wanted to on Zeke's face, breaking his nose, the bone crashing and shattering making a horrid popping noise that echoes through the cobblestone walls.
His foot sets to find a way to your stomach, pushing a warning kick but with enough force to send you flying in the air, only for a short period of time though. Grunting, you land in a rooftop, clutching onto your pained stomach, coughing up a few breaths that were stuck in your chest upon impact.
Eren makes a fatal mistake; he turns his head to check up on you, momentarily letting down his guard as some form of guilt runs through him. The blond only manages to grasp onto that tiny fragment of his distraction.
Zeke is out of breath as he runs at his full capacity, counting down the seconds to make it to the end of the alley to escape Eren. Eren is fast, faster than the last time Zeke encountered him and slightly more buff, the blond can make out his muscles twitching in rage as he puts his weight onto the tips of his feet, running restlessly behind him. Eren grabs the spare gun that rests on his right thigh with one hand, the shiny spikes that decorate each side of the gun that could possibly land on him at any given moment dazzling him.
Deciding he can't avoid Eren for too long -hes practically right behind him at the very moment- Zeke turns on his feet and sets his right foot behind his left one, tightening his fists as he feels strength rush through his body.
Eren jumps onto him first delivering the first blow, careful not to take the fist that is aimed to him. He bucks down for a split second, avoiding Zeke's second blow and jumps, splitting his feet so that his left leg collides with Zeke's jaw. The blonde leaves a grunt of pain through his mouth, falling back in haze.
With a mid air spin, Eren lands a few meters away from Zeke. He wastes no time in allowing Zeke to catch his breath; he jumps, knee first to deliver a second kick, thought this time it fails to cause the damage he wants. Zeke catches him by the knee the moment he runs into him, gripping with animalistic force, managing to clash the iron kneecap Eren wears for protection.
Zeke lets out a scream as he lands his fist fiercely on Eren's helmet, successfully breaking a hole in it, the kevlar enhanced plastic helmet making a huge shattering sound, its pieces falling anywhere to the concrete ground bellow, some other smaller ones digging their way into Eren's skin.
The act enrages Eren; he backs away bringing his glived fist to wipe on what he figures is blood that's running from his lip. He watches as Zeke takes the chance to turn on his tracks to leave but he resents the act, he bucks slightly to his knees and proceeds to run full speed in his direction, his ultimate goal setting on tackling his brother.
"You're not getting away." Eren spits angrily.
"You've been practicing on your heroic puns haven't you little brother?" Zeke doesn't turn his head back to face Eren, the end of the alley is only a few meters away now, and he'd like to think that he can make it.
The elbow that crushes onto his face and send him in a momentary haze though does definitely belong to Eren. One because despite the vertigo that engulfs him, he can still hear Eren's iron clad footsteps and two because his body never hits the ground when the elbow detaches from his face.
"Where are you running off to Beast?"
Looking up with half lid eyes Zeke smiles a crooked line with his lips, nodding his head to greet you. You huff through your nose with determination, tightening the fist of your hand, causing Zeke to feel squished by the invisible grip you have on him. He squirms in place kicking his feet and expanding his palm.
"Are you here to save me from your lover boy?" Zeke bites at you loudly and your eyes quickly follow Eren's running form, noticing how his helmet is cracked open. Even if it angers you to see him, you try not to let it show right now. It would only take a tiny slips up for Zeke to manage and take the opportunity to outsmart you and challenge you into a physical battle.
"You're not getting away this time, nice try." You shout, freezing his feet with the slightest move of your hand.
Unexpectedly, Eren jumps, gripping Zeke's foot and hanging from it, tagging at the limb with all force. The eye that isn't masked by his helmet is definitely fixed onto you, worrying its glimmer into your soul. You despairately try to brush it off.
Shaking your head you look around to find anything in which you can move Zeke to help Eren land onto. The ground doesn't seem like a good option, Zeke is smart enough to know you can't last long if you have to let go of the mental grip you're forcing on him. You panic as you figure out that he soon will realise your grip on him is able to wobble enough for him to beat your control over him.
"Hand him over (y/n)." Eren screams in your direction, batting his eye to your direction.
You notice Zeke squirming into your grasp as horrified expression proceeds his face. His eyebrows point upwards causing strong rolls of skin to appear on his forehead, his lips curl down in worry and his eyes widen to their max.
"Can't do that!" You turn to Zeke, shooting him a reassuring look, letting him know you wouldn't allow his assassination before your very eyes.
You only understand how foolish you've been to do so when you watch Zeke take a deep breath. Initially you assume he wants to fill his lungs with oxygen due to your harsh grip and you slowly process in your mind the possibilities of what can happen if you chose to loosen your hold on him. It's only when Zeke lets out an eardrum piercing screech that you curse under your breath feeling your mental grip growing weak. Zeke throws you a sorry smile, startling you enough to take a wrong footing on the brick rooftop you're standing on.
You feel your powers flicker even more, to the point it reminds you of a dying flame but you refuse to believe you've reached the end of your potential use of your own meta ability. You pay no attention to Eren and his momentarily twitching as you try to focus on catching your breath. All it should take is a moment, all you need is a moment to calm down your pounding heart and then-
Bam! Bam! Bam!
You sense Zeke slipping away from you unexpectedly and your mouth falls agape, your hands rushing to your ears, despairate to offer protection and and comfort to the buzzing pain you're feeling. Glancing around you notice Eren swirling his gun in his thigh case, smoke emitting from the small opening of the gun, the smell of gunpowder tingling in your nostrils. Even if you're hazy you immediately understand what has happened; Eren's bullets, following Zeke's coordinate scream sent warning shots to his comrades, letting them know of his exact location and if you could guess correctly, giving them information on his situation.
"AH!" Zeke screams in agony, averting your gaze to the commotion that starts to go down on the concrete ground as the Yeager bothers land forcefully on it. Eren's gun is smashed to his brother's head, the iron spikes splitting his cheek open upon impact.
"No!" Your eyes widen as you scream, your body moving to take a quick leap down the side of the rooftop, send bricks to stray into the air as you slide down onto them.
Eren's fists are bouncing quickly onto Zeke's head and torso, taking turns to avoid being overworked. Your eyebrow is twitching automatically, your head is practically on fire, your veins popping and flowing with hit throbs and painful sudden rashes of blood. Eren won't react to your screams, you assume his own adrenaline is covering up the sound of your voice for him.
You land right on top of Eren, sending him in collision with Zeke, crashing his jaw onto his brothers chest. The males let out pained mutters, cursing under their breaths as you push your body weight harder onto them.
"Eren don't do this."
You take Eren's torso into your arms, using as much strength as you can manage to press his back into your chest. You ignore the way your heart painfully spreads up, similarly to the way a schoolgirl's at the sight of her crush, you resist the urge to rest your head on Eren's shoulder from the back like you would have done had the circumstances been any different. You only squeal as you try to transfer all your strength to your hands, your feet giving in and your chest heaving as you try to pull Eren even further into you.
"Get off of me." Eren screams thrashing his hands around with enough strength to shoo your grip on him away.
"No!" You chatter, squinting him even more. "You're not killing your own brother."
"Fucking hell, let me go."
Your hand mechanically searches for Eren's thigh even though your vision is still blurry. You're practically ravaging him with one hand for a few seconds, despairately clinging onto whatever resembled the touch of a gun.
"I'm not going to let you do this." You say, pressing him further into you, your heart basically hammering in its skeleton binds.
If Eren believes the guy with gun is always right in a fight, you have to point a gun at him to prove his own point to him. Right?
You clad your arms under his arpits, securing your grip onto the top of his shoulder as you manage to flick him off, balancing his weight onto both your knees. With a jump, you land on your wobbly feet, your iron clad heels making loud thuds as you jolt your body slightly to Eren's direction. Your wrist flicks, signing to Zeke's hands and consecuentially they come together, seemingly tied up by invisible imaginary bounds.
A harden expression masks your face as you point the edge of the gun to Eren, pushing it mere inches away from his face, the cold metal flushing with the outside parts of his helmet.
"Take it off, slowly." You order, your stern eyes never bowing the the puppy like eyes Eren is pointing at you. "I'm the guy with the gun, if you're smart you do as I say." You turn your face to the right, now pointing directly to Zeke. "You too Beast."
Under any other circumstance you would have felt your heart melt at the sight to your left; bellow his helmet Eren is battered, bruised and he's glistering with swear and grease -you assume it's from the creaks of his head cover- this sight should be enough for you to throw the gun away from your hand, or destroy it with your powers.
Eren hisses as his hands move to click on the securing buttons of his helmet, the lightweight iron thrashing into more pieces as it comes undone, the damage it had undergone seemingly unredeemable. You sighed internally, Eren has more than a dozen of them back at his place, so replacing this one wont be an issue, fortunatelly. Your hard eyes never leave him, his own turqouise orbs fixating on you the moment his helmet is put to the ground. His hands shoot up in defeat, his palms extended as he stares at you with an annoyed expression.
“Fine? Got what you wanted?”
“Eren!” you utter, stomping your foot to the ground.
You don’t realise at first -yet it doesn’t slip Eren- but the gun is quaking in your hand. With your trembling hand mere inches before him, it’s hard not to notice in the end, but he spares you of the embarassment for a second, he focuses on how to get himself out of this situation first.
“Sorry, babe.” Eren smiles at you, using his feet to flip himself off of the ground, pushing his weight onto his torse for his feet to levitate off the ground. Shook and thrown off by his sudden act, the gun in your hand slips and you squeal, yur grip on Zeke unfocusing as your powers dictate Eren to come to an halt midair. His body thrashes down to the ground, grunts of agony coming out of his chest.
It happens before you even have a chance to blink; your powers are weakened, Eren screams an ear piercing screech and Zeke starts running towards your direction. Multiple bangs echo through the air and you don’t even have a chance to look up to pinpoint where their source lays, your neck is looped on the inside of an elbow but at this point all you can see is black and white as your ears ring dangerously.
“Zeke! Let her go!” Eren screams, his eyes pacing between Zeke and the new additions to the scene, Flotch and Yelena. They both point their guns to Zeke’s direction, panting and Eren is panting as well, his mouth running miles ahead of his brain. He knows he’s in a sticky situation, left unarmed hen Zeke has managed to grab the gun you dropped, shot on the left bicept, but it’s nothing compared to you
Thick crimson fell in gushes from your head, sipping slightly to the cavity at the edge of your mouth, rushing down the painful path to your neck. Your costume seeped in it, the cloth furiously sipping like a hungry vampire as more blood run over it. Eren didn't dare move his hands, only his real orbs paced between his team members, remaining wide open, despairate to light up in any frail solution he could think of.
"If I let her go, you'll let me take my leave."
Eren's brain throbbed, the coiling cavities swelling and shrinking. He examined the possibilities and went over his options like a madman, there were a few ways in which he could entrust Zeke's extermination to Yelena and Flotch, he could even manage to grab you in the midst of it and bring you to safety. The bullet Zeke has shot towards you hadn't planted its way into your head, it had only scratched over the surface, he should be able to stop the bleeding if he could manage to bring you to safety.
If he was completely honest, he could have numerous opportunies to kill Zeke, he couldn't bring you back though in any case you died.
"Fine." He said, throwing his hands up in defeat. "Get it your way."
"No funny games brother."
With a piercing look thrown at Yelena, Eren leaped a step towards Zeke. The blonde and the redhead lowered their guns pointing their cranes to the cobblestone ground. Eren's iron enhanced footsteps filled the teeny alleyway but they came to an halt as soon as they began. Zeke brought a hand to his nose, pinching the tip slightly despite the fact that his glasses had been shattered to pieces his digits still went for his habitual action of fixing them on his diaphragm.
When Zeke's footing dug into the ground, the material screeching from the intense friction Eren widened his eyes. With your head in his palm he rushed into the wall, blood drenched (h/c) tresses sticking onto his tan skin. With a huge thud he smashed your head against the wall, a roar blurting its way out of the depths of his chest. Then, his feet made the best out of their existence, running as fast as they could, if these were his last moments, at least he caused some mayhem and pain to live up to his reputation.
Eren didn't even have a chance to jump into the commotion in time yet he leaped on your side with your name falling out of his lips in the form of a scream. With no need to be commanded to Yelena and Flotch raised their guns at Zeke, shooting while launching on his direction, leaving Eren and your unconscious body behind.
...
"There's no hope for us right?"
You were dying.
Sprawled over a gray cement built rooftop that paid homage to Trost's biggest neon sign you were taking your last few breaths. And Eren was the only one to blame.
You laid rested on his lap, his hand frozen over the roots of your hair as he felt how tangled they felt with all the dried blood on them. Electric blue neon light fell over his shoulders in the mellowest way, creating a halo over his body, his messy hair and all of its stray strands sticking out as the contrasted the light.
"I'm sorry I brought you here at a moment like this. But since you always said you wanted us to hang out here"
Eren paused to sniffle the little goo at the tip of his nose. A burning sensation in his chest chocked him, it crushed his lungs under an iron grip, the splash of blood and flesh echoing inside his torso. His stomach fell and repositioned itself, his gut churned, his eyes solidified pain in the form of hot, salty tears.
"I couldn't think of anything else."
There wasn't any hope for you. Your skull was cracked open beyond saving, your forehead was jabbed and crushed, your eye bloody and scarlet where bright white should have been. Your nose was broken and crooked. It was only a matter of sorrowful moments before life left your body but Eren couldn't bring himself to help you into descenting faster into the light.
"You probably can't even listen to me. But I love you, always did, always will. I never meant what I said that night. About not knowing why I was with you."
Tears ran down his face, his chest quacking in endless sobs that he tried to muffle. But he couldn't help it, despite having grown into a silent nonchalant adult, he still couldn't push past the hurt if losing someone that close to him. Whatever facade he had ever tried to put on himself was crumbling down in seconds before you, right in this very moment.
"Levi's on his way to take you to a hospital." He announced, yet he doubted you could listen. His hands wiped furiously at his stinging and painful tears. The drops of blood that entered his eyes made him hiss even further.
A bloody palm came to cup under your jaw, and Eren hissed as he felt the bone going stiff. He refused to believe it, he refused to believe your mouth had locked, he refused to believe it was happening. For all that matters he didn't want this to be your last shared moment.
From afar he could see Levi and his former friends approaching, the sound of sirens complimenting the background as the neon sign started buzzing and flickering behind him. When Levi finally stepped his foot to your direction he spoke no word, much like the rest of the team, except for Mikasa who shot him a comforting glare and a pat on the forearm.
Eren watches as Levi checked for your pulse and took you over his back, your body laying numb over his own. He spoke no words as he watched the man pull away and roam between buildings before disappearing. As the neon sign behind him made a chirpy, electronic voice and spurt a few sparks of quickly dissolving fire three more hands came to rest on his shoulders. Jean, Connie and Sasha had all silently tried to seek for a way to comfort him, confiding into mimicking Mikasa. 
 Eren knew he wouldn't ever have the chance to see you illuminated by the cobalt neon light again.
Taglist: @levisbrat25 @nobody-knows-anymore @callmepromise @melancholicmonologue @ladyofpandemonium @alrightberries
Super special thanks to my baby @sasageyowrites and my dear @aichiin (if you don’t check out her art i will be mad!)
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sweettodo · 4 years ago
Text
The Hunstman ⟿ Dabi.
includes : dacryphilia, NON-CON, consumption of alcohol, restrains, hunter / prey, stalker, smut, god complex Dabi. Power dominance.
word count : 2,7k.
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This is a non-consent fic, stop now if you need to. Warnings listed above as well.
Nothing short of a stalker, a pervert, a creep.
He watched you.
For almost a year now.
One year, three months and six days- to be exact- Trust and believe he would never be able to forget the first time he saw you.
It was in a bar, late in the wee hours of the morning, you were stumbling around like a drunk imbecile, your friends? Abandoned you. And like the idiot you were, you took yet another drink from Dabi. Later that night, he made sure you got home safe- this complete stranger making sure you walked home safely, stumbling while his arm was securely wrapped around you.
So you were this easy, huh?
He watched you when you walked home from that shitty job, watched you walk home all the way to your shitty apartment in a terribly unsafe neighborhood. He watched you from his window, where he lived just across the street, the shades you forgot to close when you were undressing or just getting out of the shower; or even when you would go to check the mail in those tiny shorts... what a sight to see.
'I should tell her to get new locks, this is too easy' is what he mumbled to himself as he picked open the cheep lock on your front door the third time this week, of course when you were working your 9-5.
Dabi leisurely walked through your quaint living space; cute little succulents and smelly candles littered the surfaces, he of course already knew which room was your bedroom, so he walked down the hall like he owned the place, and into your room where he went straight for your drawers.
We know what happened next, but you didn't.
He smelled everything you owned, he could only imagine the scent of you filling his nostrils while you were wrapped around him begging.
‘Please Dabi, more!’
‘I love you Dabi!’
Nonetheless, he had been in your apartment countless times, you didn't know; the sporadic pair of panties that went m.i.a, but you didn't pay it much thought.
'They're probably stuck in a pair of leggings.'
Yet, oddly enough, you never seemed to find them again.
Although he received great pleasure in watching you change, this didn't excuse the fact that you were teasing him, bringing men home occasionally after a date or a casual hookup.
How dare you.
How dare you betray him? How could you go and whore yourself out for a free fucking meal? After a few drinks at the bar you're ready to throw all your clothes off and take anything you could get; Dabi knew you did this just to mess around with him, he knew you loved him, how couldn't you? You were always on his mind.
Just look at how much he cared for you- look at how he protected you? He needed to tell you to get new locks when you needed them, but that would mean he couldn't get in when he had to, suck between a rock and a hard place.
Maybe the execution of his plan was odd, but he made sure to warn you that this was a bad neighborhood, you were being hunted- watched- even.
And you were his fucking prey, too much of a naive ditz to realize it though.
Dabi was going to teach you all the dangers of being this stupid- so unsuspecting.
It was time you learned the definition of stranger danger, and lucky for you; Dabi was about to fucking snap.
He was about to be your worst nightmare.
After a little pregame in your apartment, you and your best friends were off to the club for y/f/n's birthday for the night.
Walking into the roaring event, music loud, short dresses and the floor sticky from the spilled cocktails; this was your type of night. It was rowdy.
Quickly taking a drink from the bartender, you and your friends shotgun a few, it didn't take more than twenty minutes before you're already feeling overcome with that hot feeling in the pit of your stomach.
Hours go by, cocked out of your mind, you were barely capable of walking- there was no way you'd even know what direction you were walking in, that's unless if Dabi was going to help you with that.
"Put it on my tab," you wave off the mixer in hopes of them preparing you another mixed drink; with the glass sliding in front of your face, you reach to grab it.
But a hand halts you.
A multicolored hand placed over the glass to stop you from getting alcohol poisoning, "can I help you?" Not particularly happy with ruining your fun.
"You tryna' get yourself sick?" Blue eyes bore into you, you look away from the interrogating crystal orbs.
"What's it to 'ya?" You spit, ripping the glass from under his palm and swallowing down the drink, "what are you? My dad?" You laugh, he needs to lighten up.
"I'm cutting you off, princess." He waves over the bartender, the balls of this man had your tainted blood boiling.
And the incompetent bartender cuts you off, you don't hesitate to object, "isn't this what you get paid for?! Take my tab and shove it up your ass!"
Hand wrapping around your wrist, you slur and stumble around, slamming into other people like a fucking idiot.
You try to locate a friend, lost and vulnerable, but you can't seem to escape that jet-black hair, always running into him, "let's get you home."
You didn't remember the walk home, nor did you remember giving the man your address.
Your eyes half shut, he takes control and grabs your handbag, popping it open and grabbing your keys, opening the door.
Falling into your apartment, you trip over your feet, god- thankfully he was here, 'she would be dead by now if I didn't come save the day.'
"What a mess." He says, assisting in slipping off your heals, you look up at him, not registering that a stranger is in your house.
"What?" You stupidly watch him know exactly where everything goes, your shoes, jacket, keys, "hey- how do you-"
A hand comes flying down onto your throat, your jugular in between his fingers, your eyes bulge, trying to pry the hand off your neck, "look at how easy this was- no- how fucking stupid you are!" Your back further pressed into the couch, his weight pressing against you, the air leaving your lungs quicker than you could imagine.
"I could kill you, I might as well since it was too fucking easy to get in here." You kick him, barely able to push him off of you, you slide from under his grasp, merely able to attempt making a run for the door. He grabs you by your hair and yanks you down, your drunk knees buckling and you slam onto the cold floor, your dress riding up as you cried out.
"You don't wanna do that," he pulls you up, "I'm here to save you, princess." The evil smile plastered onto his face makes you only fight him more.
But he has you.
“It’s too dangerous for a little girl to be out this late, especially when you can’t even hold your liquor, you realize people could hurt you right?”
He shoves you onto the floor to demobilize you, the noise of his belt making you cry, he loops the best around your wrists and tightening them, "why me?" You cry, he lets out a dry, taunting cackle, pulling you to his waist whilst he swiftly brings you to your bedroom.
You were convinced this was the end; keeping your eyes squeezed shut when he shoves you onto the bed, "please, god." His hands are finding your thighs, prying them open.
"God? You think he's gonna save you? I'm your only chance at living baby girl, I'm your god now." He stops, "you know what- since you are such a good girl, I won't make you suck me off, yeah?"
"This night is about you, not me." He stops himself from pulling down his pants, his calloused hands slowly rolling up your dress to get a good look at you.
Your hands were falling asleep from laying on top of them, "please, untie me." You beg, he shakes his head, peeling off his shirt and dropping it onto the floor.
"Not until I know you'll listen to me-"
"I will! I will!" He clicks his tongue, big hands cupping around your breasts, ripping the strings off your shoulder, quickly finding your nipple and pinching roughly, you bite your tongue to stop from the sobs; the buds growing hard in the process, he smiles, feeling accomplished.
"See? I just wanna make you feel good princess," he caresses both hands down your hips, ripping the rest of your dress enough until he can pull it off your legs, he could barely keep his hands off of you.
You stay silent, his hands softly rub your thighs, holding your legs apart as he gets on his knees, pulling you closer to him by wrapping his hands around your thighs.
"You won't be quiet for long, pretty girl."
Slowly pulling off your underwear, you say a silent prayer before he makes distasteful comments about your body, using his two fingers to slowly scissor open your folds, you gasp, attempting to close your legs.
He holds your legs open now with both arms, sticking out his tongue and giving you a long lick up your cunt, you sob out, he smiles and does it again.
And again. Tongue swirling around while he uses his mouth to get you to fall into pleasure. You kept quiet, but your body contradicted this.
"Hate it, stop-" you cry, he stops, annoyed with your complaining, forcing your mouth open with his hand.
"Open." Your underwear being jammed into your mouth, the cloth hitting the back of your throat and making you gag, "stop, stop" he sneers, mocking you once more, "you won't be crying out stop in a few minutes."
He gets back to work, faster, legs twitching a little under his grasp when he hit all the sensitive spots on your clit, and when he felt you twitch- he hit that spot over- and over, and over again until you ended up giving him what he wanted. Moaning into the cloth, that's all he wanted to hear.
He finally reaches his hand up to your face and takes your underwear out of your gaping mouth while still devouring you, maintaining eye contact the whole time; fighting to regain a steady breath once more, shaky moan fills his ears, he pulls off of you with a little pop from sucking your swollen clit; standing, he wastes no time pulling down his pants, he was too excited to fuck you, you could tell.
"Who are you?" You whisper, he grabs under your thighs and presses your knees back, holding you in a tight grip, his cock released from its constraints, throbbing hard.
"You'll be saying my name in no time." He slides his cock up and down against your folds, slowly pressing past your slit, you screw your eyes shut, the man presses further into your constricting walls.
"C'mon, moan, I know you want to." He grunts, the pain was uncomfortable, it was impossible to adjust under the restraints, only making you cry out from the pain more. Cock dragging into you slowly.
"It's okay, you can take it pretty girl, so fuckin' tight."
He leans down close to your face, gently kissing the tears that were slipping down your cheek, he loved the taste of you- from your tears to your pussy, "if you keep crying' like that princess, I'm gonna spend the rest of the night fucking that pretty little pussy." Your legs in the air, keeping them as far away from his broad waist as possible.
Filling you, he stays there for a moment before pulling out, then fucking into you hard, you shriek, trying to squirm from the immense pressure of his thick cock splitting you wide open.
You reach your weakness, moaning out into his ear loudly and he laughs, doing it again. The jut of his hips creating a nice feeling against your clit from his lower stomach, cock slamming in and out against your cervix, "pretty little pussy can barely take me- been waitin' for this cunt."
He moans out your name, you're taken aback from him knowing every little thing possible about you, "say my name, go on." He commands, "Dabi, say it!" You're swallowed in moans, unable to speak, the pleasure he was giving you making the guilt make you hate yourself only more and more. You were disgusting. You couldn't stop the urge, your body deceiving you.
"D-Dabi! Oh my god!" You gasp, he fucks you out at a speed your drunk mind can't comprehend.
He grabs your neck, "what did I tell you about that 'god' bullshit," he mocks, "who's your god, princess."
He looks at you, sadistically tightening his grip until your lips go numb.
"You're my god! Dabi, please."
"Please what? Say it. Be a big girl and use your words." Ruthless pounds into your cunt sending you to a mind blank, you hated it. You fucking hated it. The twisted way he was making your body needy, wet and dripping.
"I'm gonna-"
"Yeah? Cum then- this pussy is mine, all mine, say it again, who’s this tight little pussy belong to?”
Hips bucking into you mercilessly while you cried out a mantra of his name, the piercings up the base of his cock sending ripples through your quaking body, shaking around him. You needed for it to be over, you needed him to stop, he was animalistic, “‘gonna rip you right open.”
He stops, you’re left panting like a dog, “untie-”
“No. On your knees.” He flips you over and holds you by his belt, spreading your ass to get a good look at how fucked out you already are.
“So wet.” He states, sliding back into you, you grunt and cry into the blanket and he pulls you up by the hair, wrapping a hand back around your neck and pins you against his back, cock sliding in and out of you slower, his large arm wrapping around your stomach, “tell me you like it,” he purrs, his mouth centimeters from your ear, you gasp out for air, the rate he was choking you would send you into unconsciousness.
“But-” falling victim and being defiled by this man was nothing short of a nightmare, yet here you were, clenching and creaming all over him.
“C’mon, you’ve been waiting just like I have,” you don’t pay any mind to his irrelevant talk.
“I, I like it Dabi.” You pant, he holds you there for a few more moments before shoving you back down.
“Then be a good girl and cum all over my cock, yeah?”
Dabi chases his climax, making sure to leave you crying out from the dangerous length of his cock, he needed to make sure his seed was planted nicely within the walls of your cervix, he becomes more ragged, brutal and rough; swearing under his breath while he fucks you full with his seed, kids seeping deep inside of you.
Your juices drip down your thighs, an uncomfortable tickle sensation before it seeps into the sheets of your bed, Dabi ensuring you don’t leak out with his seed, so he stays in you with his softening cock- which was on the verge on getting hard at any second.
He doesn’t bother uniting you, so he pushes you forward more, leaving you to try and fight the soreness of your own body and flip over, he couldn’t get enough at how good you looked; stained black cheeks from your makeup and your tears finally dry, but eyes red and swollen.
“Just as good as I’ve imagined.”
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callmeunstable · 4 years ago
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Angels & Demons - Chapter 4
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Chapter 4
Characters: Reader, Godling, Savilla, Jaskier
Summary: After finding a friendin Jaskier their friendship get tested. Unsure of the danger ahead Alva tries her best to live in the village.
Warnings: Cursing, Blood, Death
Words: 2.000+
A/N: Hey! This is the fourth part of my fic. It took really long this time due to personal problems. I’m sorry but it probably will happen again. Thank you for you patience and enjoy!
Disclaimer: GIF’s and PNG’s are taken from Tumblr and are not mine! Credits to the creators!
Tags: @marvelbrat @charliestuff
Song: 
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“Did ya hear the rumors?”
“The folks are saying the Nilfgaards want to overrule Cintra.”
“That’s never been a secret, mate. Cintra will fall and we all know that.”
“Got to hell. Our Lioness is strong. Don’t ya ever doubt her skill.”
These were the latest accusations browsing around the village. Cintra, the kingdom Alva was currently staying, was about to fall. The men were right when they're saying that. Even Savilla was under tension these days. She said they could arrive any day by now. 
The Lioness was the Queen of this state. Calanthe of Cintra, known also as the "Lioness of Cintra" and "Ard Rhena" called by the Elders. The mother of Pavetta, and grandmother of Ciri. She was known for her bravery and beauty. That is at least what she figured while serving in the tavern. She heard tons of rumors but couldn’t understand what that meant for her.
Sevilla had already started packing the most important goods and she collected all the money she received. Rarely spending anything except for once. She bought two horses. They weren’t expensive she said and necessary for traveling. 
When the Nilfgaards want to overrule Cintra the will stop here. Their town was called Walen. It’s close to the capital of Cintra. Where the Queen and the King had their castle. It may be a small village but you will get everything you need in this town. Food, animals, tailors, and a blacksmith.
Overall this village was not a poorly town. It had more than enough money to keep everyone well fed through the winter, which was a rare thing in this century. They didn’t necessarily depend on other nearby villages. They made everything they could need by themselves. Sevilla already had a plan figured out. James was still living in his forest and promised to alert them directly if he’d see something unusual and he would try to save them some time. In the beginning, Alva didn’t understand why the had to take all these precautions until the mage explained it to her. The Nilfgaardian Army was strong and powerful. They raided villages, stole their good, and raped the women. Their goal was to overrule Cintra, which means they wouldn’t hesitate to torture the people living here to receive any information they would mark as useful.
It was horrible and disgusting but it was the way this world worked. You have to protect yourself because nobody else will.
The job at the tavern kept her busy. It was quite fun now that Jaskier decided to stay. She liked his singing and his humor, even if sometimes he’d get on her nerves. He was flirting with every woman he could come across and needless to say, it didn’t stay with flirting if the girl agreed.
Gladly Jaskier understood rather quickly not to tease Alva's patience because she didn’t care about the girly behavior this world was used to. She was quick with grabbing any nearby object and chasing the bard with it. Once or twice even with his lute.
She would consider them both as good friends, which is why she was asking the bard about his plans when the Niflgaards arrive. “They don’t scare me. I’m not scared of anything. I could even get some new stories to tell in my songs.”
The bard was sometimes naive but he assured Alva that he knew what was coming and that he will be prepared.
Another day another workday for Alva. It was all peaceful and quiet, especially in the mornings. She liked that shift a lot. But not today. She was the first server to enter and she quickly realized that. Dozens of mugs were laying on the floor, bear and gin spilled everywhere.
“Was there a party I don’t know about?” Alva let that question settle in the room, soon recognizing that no one was there to talk to.
“All right, fuck all of you then.”
“Why you gotta be so mean all the time?” 
The mumbling sound of Jaskier's voice broke the silence and Alva spotted his hat in one of the corners of the room. The rest was hidden behind a barrel. He looked rather ruff. His Jacket was thrown on the chair beside him and his shirt was unbuttoned pretty far down. Thankfully he had his pants still on.
“Because you're sleeping quietly in your corner while I have to scrub the floor that you probably spilled you drink on.” Alva throws her bag at Jaskier, hitting him right in the belly.
“That was uncalled for. And to be exact it wasn’t only me. The men last night were enormously friendly and gave everyone a drink for free. Let me tell you it was fantastic.”
“Glad to hear you had a good time. Did you earn more than usual.”
“Probably. Can’t remember if I shall be completely honest.”
That sounded like typical Jaskier. 
Alva grabbed some towels and a bucket, filling it with water and soap. She dipped one into the liquid and searched for her target. Jaskier was standing a few meters away. His back was facing her.
“Don’t you know that turning your back to someone is just plain rude.” And with these words, the towel was being thrown, right on Jaskier's head. But the bard didn’t seem to mind the wet cloth sitting on top of his head.
“What the hell are you doing Jaskier?” The girl made her way over to him, to take a look at the interesting thing Jaskier was concentrated on. 
She didn’t like was she was seeing. Jaskier had opened her bag and grabbed one of her leather notebooks, Sevilla gave her exactly 3 of them, so she could keep track of this world and for anything else, Alva wanted to write down.
“You lied to me!” Jaskier let out an offended sigh. “You are a bard yourself and you didn’t tell me? I'm deeply offended, Alva.”
Alva tried to snatch the book out of his hands, unsuccessfully. “Jaskier, I will kick your ass! Give it back!” Jaskier was probably about 1 ½ head taller than Alva. That made it far more difficult.
“Why would I? These are amazing. Why did you hide them from me?”
“I’m not a bard Jaskier. I just like to write songs, get it?”
“You have to sing for me sometime or at least allow me to use some of your poetry.”
“For Christ's Sake Jaskier give me the book or I will kick you in your balls and that is a promise.”
Jaskier's shocked eyes stared her blank in the face. “No need to threaten me. But I've heard worse than that.” The bard still didn’t give the book back. Alva was struggling to get hold of his arm, that he held far up in the air. 
“That’s so romantic. May I quote ‘I've been hiding for so long, these feelings they’re not gone, can I tell anyone?’ What a poet you are little girl.”
“Jaskier I’m begging you, please stop!” Alva knew what the next line read. And she knew in which time frame she was captured. This will not end well.
“Why this is adorable! ’Afraid of what they'll say, so I push them away. I'm acting so strange.’ Does someone have a crush on good ol’ Jaskier?”
“Jaskier you don’t want to read further trust me.” Alva stopped reaching for her journal. It wouldn’t change what would happen next, she was too small and Jaskier to stubborn.
“’ They're so pretty it hurts. I'm not talking 'bout boys, I'm talking 'bout’ … oh.” There it was. Would he hate her now? Was she about to be abandoned from this village? She had no idea what would happen next.
“I’m sorry, Alva. I didn’t me to intrude your privacy.” Jaskier looked ashamed. That was a surprising sight. He quietly closed the book and handed it to her. She grabbed it and stuffed it bag in her back.
“You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?”
“No, don’t be afraid. I don’t mind that. It’s just a bummer, I thought you had a swarm for myself. I guess I was wrong.” Jaskier let out a friendly laugh and scratched the back of his head.
“Wait, you don’t hate me?”
“Why would I? I mean I’m fond of women myself so why would I blame you? I’m just a little bit disappointed. I thought maybe I had a chance to win you over, at least for a night.”
Alva punched Jaskier softly in his side. 
“You’re a douche. But if you want to know. I still think men are attractive. But in my opinion, women are as well. So why exactly decide?” Alva tried her best to explain Jaskier with the easiest way that she’s bisexual.
“Does that mean I still have a chance of winning you over?” Jaskier's typical smirk was setting and he wiggled with his eyebrows.
“Technically yes, but no thanks.”
“That was disappointing.”
The day went quietly after this. Alva was happy about the fact that Jaskier didn’t mind her sexuality at all. He was indeed a great friend. He kept it a secret as he promised. And he didn’t change one bit.
A couple of weeks later they were walking back from the village that was next to Walen. It was a one-day march but it didn’t bother them. Sevilla sent Alva to get herbs she ran out of and Jaskier gladly announced himself as her companion. He didn’t want her to get lost and a woman should never walk alone, in his opinion.
It was only about a half an hour walk left, they were just arriving in the forest of James when they saw black smoke rising from the direction they were heading. “What the hell?” Alva didn’t understand what that was supposed to be. It was new to her that the village people used smoke signals.
“That’s not good.” Jaskier started to run, Alva behind him. What’s happening? “Why are we running?”, called Alva so Jaskier was able to hear her through the cracking branches they were running over.
“I think Nilfgaard reached Walen! Hurry!”
Anxiety was crawling up her throat. This couldn’t be real. Sevilla warned her but she never took it that seriously. She thought this would never happen.
“Alva!” The familiar voice of James was ringing in her head. The Godling used this method a lot to talk to Alva without needing to be seen.
“What is happening, James?” “Nilfgaard raided the village not even ten minutes ago. You need to run away! Not in the direction of the village! It will be your death!” The Godling was panicking like a child. His voice sounded helpless.
“I have to make it. I need to see if Sevilla is okay. Can you shield us? I beg you, James.” Alva needed to flee with Sevilla, she was not going to leave her there. “I try my best. But there are too many. You won't have much time.”
“I don’t need long, just help us!”
In the far Sevilla's house came in sight. It looked like normal, only the pots and jar outside the house were broken.
“Be quiet. I saw some soldiers not far from here. It's Nilfgaard. We have to leave!” Jaskier was pushing her in a bush, trying to have at least a little bit of cover. Screams and cries became audible. Uncontrolled and painful.
“Sevilla had a plan. I need to get her. We have horses. You can come with us Jaskier. But I need to get Sevilla, do you understand?” Alva was determined. 
She was not going to leave her. She was like a mother to her, all this time. She gave her a home when anyone else would have left her to die. The girl pushed the fabric of her dress aside, grabbing the hidden dagger.
“You are crazy! Going in there.”
“You will not stop me.”
“Alright then. Let’s go, you crazy girl. When we die, at least we’ll die together.”
They were slowly approaching the cottage. Trying to make out any sound.
“There is no one around you. You can enter.” James was back in her head. Alva didn’t hesitate anymore, breaking through the door.
It was horrifying. Everything was broken. All of the herbs were ripped out of their pots. All of their clothing was laying ripped on the floor. The fireplace was burning and tons of papers were stuffed into it.
But the worst thing was yet to come. Sevilla was laying on her stomach. The back part of an arrow was sticking out of her back.
“Sevilla!” The girl let out a shrieking scream. Jaskier quickly covered her mouth and held her in his arms. 
The was so much blood. All of her clothes were colored in a dark red. She wasn’t moving anymore.
“Alva, you need to listen to me.” Jaskier was grabbing her face and trying to get her to focus. “I know this is hard but you have to grief later. She wouldn’t want you to die here. You told me she protected you, I understand. But we have to leave.”
Alva was frozen, not even noticing her tears falling to the floor. “I can't keep them away much longer Alva!” A panicked voice ripped her out of her trance state. 
She wouldn’t want her to die. She has to live for her. “T- The rug. Under the rug.” Jaskier pushed the carpet aside and a hatch became visible.
Jaskier opened it and there were 6 bags stuffed together. Each of them grabbed three.
Alva was still looking at the corpse of Sevilla. She was lost in this world once again. No help to escape it.
“The horses! Where are they, Alva?” Jaskier started to panic like the girl. 
“Behind the house in the shed.”
Both ran outside, with a last glance at the mage they left. The horses were still outside, visibly unsettled.
“Help me saddle them. Hurry up!” They fixed the straps and secured the bags. While doing that a not fell out of the pockets attached to the saddle. Quickly picking it up she stuffed it on the inside of her pants. 
“You need to ride with this dress. Are you able to do that?” Jaskier wanted to make sure the girl stayed focused. It was the most important thing at the moment.
“N-no, I can't. B-but.” She held up her dagger and sliced the fabric of her legs. Ripping every single part of it off her body. Anger was building up in her body. “Stop that! We don’t have time for one of your outbreaks. Get up! Now!” Jaskier helped the girl on the horse and fastly climbed on the other one.
The horses picked up on speed. They could sense that they were in a dangerous situation. Alva looked back at the small village she called her home. But now she has to travel into the unknown with a bard my her side.
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oceanivoxjoquainx · 6 years ago
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Let's talk about Eric Effiong
Let's be honest Eric's storyline and characterization is one of the most appealing out of all the characters in Sex Education periodt. A true gay, fierce, Drag QUEEN and I feel like ranting about this amazing force of nature. (Spoilers. Duh.)
When I saw the trailer for Sex Education it didnt even hit me that Eric was gay until I read the synopsis. Was just like "Oh I wonder which one of these three mains are the gay one people keep talking about" even after I saw him in drag like a dumbass 😣😂. Personally im glad we've reached a point where gay guys aren't overly feminine and even the brightest colours won't differ a character from the rest (unless I'm just a blind bish and he was obviously gay from the trailer) ei 👏🏾 ther 👏🏾 way; his character was refreshing when I started watching the show. I immediately clicked with him and knew what every look he gave or hand gesture he did meant. Felt nice. When Adam pushed him into the locker for the first time and started with the heterohomoerotic bs I knew that Adam had a raging boner for Eric and was another internalized homophobic bully™ and wasn't really excited for what was to come but I knew it was coming and tbh I liked it in the end.
Eric and Otis' friendship is so pure. Like?!? Get me a straight supportive bestie lilke Otis? Ik they fought but even then Otis was respectful and kept his boundaries and let Eric go through the motions before immediately belting into an apology at the first chance he got. Their dancing scene?!? Iconic. The fact that Eric sees Otis' house as safe and another home?!? Iconic. Otis going drag with Eric to watch an LGBT+ movie as a TRADITION (meaning they've done it numerous times)?!?! Iconic. The fact that Otis was straight up ditching Eric and Eric STILL tolerated him and let him do his thing without too much pressure!?! The most iconic of them all. Just pure love and respect all around.
I am so proud of Erics growth over the course of the season starting from a naive and scared gay doormat to facing homophia and getting beat up by those assholes on his birthday no less to losing his best friend and becoming depressed to channeling that anger into defending himself when people tried him to getting his sparkle back and coming back more fierce that ever before.
Speaking of him getting his sparkle back lets talk about that and why that scene is so important. A random guy asked Eric for directions and Eric noticed his nails were polished and the guy was wearing earrings and he was a big ole black dude. He was like Eric. When Eric noticed that the guy was out, loud, glamorous and proud he immediately switched back into the bright colourful and wonderfully gay Eric we all know and love.
THIS IS WHY REPRESENTATION MATTERS!!!!
It shows people that its okay to be who they actually are and inspires those who are lost to find or return to their true selves. Representation isn't just some offhand thing to throw on a character last minute. And even if you can relate to other characters who arent like you, it is always an amazing feeling to have a character that IS like you. It turned Eric from a popularity seeking doormat into a hurricane with 6 inch heels who was ready to straight up beat down a bully he's had for 4 years. It even inspired him to go back to church and rejoin a community that he closed off. That's exactly how it feels to have someone successful in the media and your life to look up to. Eric only interacted with that man for a few minutes but those few minutes changed his life for the better. So that's a lovely reminder for all who love to bash representation.
Back tracking to Eric's dull colourless period after the attack and his fight with Otis. It was saddening to see one of the brightest characters go dull and even the school felt it. He turned from a guy who rarely stood up for himself and what he wanted into the sass master he reserved only for his friends. All of his built up anger was released causing him to explode on Mr Hendricks (who is adorable tbh and just trying to do his best) and Anwar (I was proud of that punch you go glenn co co) and he even sounded off on his dad who he's usually passive aggressive to at worst. Just goes to show that the happiest faces can harbor the biggest pains and can snap. Moral of the story? Protect the happy few.
Eric also has a great family. Like that obviously know Erics gay and wears dresses because its all right there in his room which his parents enter at their leisure and while it seems that they're a bit homophobic its revealed that they (Erics dad at least) just wants Eric to be safe as he's already a target for being black and apart of an immigant family. He accepts Eric for who he is and what he does he just doesnt want anyone else to give him shit for it and if that's not one of the sweetest things in this world idek what is. Eric and his dad was probably one of my favorite dynamics in the show and watching his dad slowly fully accept that his son was strong and able to stand for himself he was able to become stronger too. This dynamic is important because I never see any gay black characters have a close relationship with their fathers and it was very heartwarming to watch.
Now onto Erics love life. He has a crush on the highschools other only gay guy Anwar who's the typical mean sassy gay we've all come to expect in highschool dramas. Otis saying that Eric doesnt have to have a crush on the only other openly gay guy at school was such a mood as its commonly shown that any gays in close proximity should get together. When Eric punched him I internally went "Finally!" Because all those jeers were becoming annoying. I'm glad Anwar got to come out to his mum over it though. And straight up told the audience that Eric didn't like feminine guys (alluding to him and Adams eventual clean up scene as of we didn't see it coming already).
Moving on to Adam tho, like I said we all been knew that this
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was indeed coming and even though I hate the bully x bullied trope I still ended up liking it and hoping that Adam would change. The building up to that kiss was long awaited from episode 1 straight through to 8 with all the longing looks that Adam kept side glancing Eric with and the face cupping and the growls and the lingering touches. I just kept going sthdjksksbslaldbd when one of those moments happened followed shortly after with disgust because gays falling for their abuser is washed up but then immediately going back to jajaklamabsldkd because im shipping trash so 🤷🏿. Eric stepping to Adam in at the ball was one of the most iconic scenes of the show (along with the "Its My Vagina" scene) and the exchange between him and Adam gave be actual chills. The tension was THICCCC. Erics OUTFIT to the ball gave me chills 😭😭 dude came to slay and had everyone at that school proper shook and I honestly could NOT be more proud. I was hoping Adam would become a better person over the course of the season but nope so hopefully they cover all the issues that Adam has in season 2 and properly give him a redeption arc cuz he's still a trashy pos he's just a disaster bi on top of it. (Adam immediately going to suck Eric off is confidence I can only dream of achieving 💀💀) The lab scene was also cute but made me mad because how could Adam look scared, confident and still be a douchebag all in the span of a few seconds was beyond me. A+ acting on Connor Swindells part. I can see why Adam would have to stay in the closet and keep their... relationship?? a secret because it seems like Headmaster Groff would be a homophobic piece of shit and would add to the ever growing list of things Adam did wrong. Even so it doesn't excuse the fact that Adam is in fact a bully and Eric deserves much better. Was sad seeing Adam being driven off from Eric in the end tho. Eric thought that Adam didn't want to see him at all and was probably heartbroken and probably thinks Adam left because of him (my poor baby 😭😭). I feel bad for Adam too because he was just starting to express himself and was at the beginning of a redemption arc when he was just wisked away from the boy he's loved for what seems to be a very long time. I just want my boys to be happy and non toxic and I wish their relationship and them all the best in Season 2.
Eric Effiong is my favorite character in the show and I really want to thank Ncuti Gatwa for portraying him so well and for the shows writers who gave him a very fleshed out character with an amazing storyline and conclusion. His growth was incredible and his strength is immeasurable. I'm 100% certain that he will be a character the community remembers for years to come. Patiently now waiting on what's to come in Season 2 💙🙌🏾.
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sometimesrosy · 7 years ago
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1) Bob said B would be drawn to Echo...but it doesn’t make any sense to me. Why would anyone be drawn to someone who helped kill their girlfriend, almost killed their beloved sister, and more?? Let alone B, who is so emotional and feels things so personally and deeply? I guess I'm just worried they're gonna force the forgiveness arc, like they did with CL. I didn’t find it believable at all that C could so quickly get over L’s betrayal and fall back into her arms, and it rly felt like they did t
2) did that to cater to the CL fandom. But at least they had a romantic relationship before, so I guess there were some grounds established. So I find something like this even less believable for B, who takes things more personally than C and didn’t have a prior romance with Echo. It seems very strange to me that he’d just be able to get over Echo’s actions and feel “drawn” to her. I do believe it’s important to learn to forgive and B does need to learn this.
3) But that doesn’t mean you have to forgive every single person who has ever hurt you, especially when Echo has done so many things that have hurt B, such as almost killing the person most important to him?? I think part of my uncomfortableness also stems from the writers’ penchant for turning abusive relationships involving great betrayal and pain and casting them as romantic so I’m dreading seeing Becho when she has hurt him so much. It just doesn’t make sense to me. Thoughts?
Okay. The reason why it doesn’t make sense to you is because you are looking at it as romance. And looking at romance as the idea that Love is The Answer. Which… this show does not do. Love is really important on The 100, and it does make the suffering worth while and give people motivation, but not all love here is pure. Not all love is healthy. Love is used a patch to fix things that it can’t fix. It’s not a very romantic show. 
The reason why people are drawn to the people who hurt them is– well, people are drawn to those who hurt them. Abusers. Kidnappers. Bad parents. Sisters who blame them for everything. Rivals. Especially in a world where everyone is doing things that harm people, but everyone has valid reasons for the harm they cause, they are drawn to those people in whom they can see a reflection of themselves. 
Clarke was drawn to Finn, Bellamy, Anya, Lxa, Dante, Roan, Jaha, even Emerson. Some of these relationships turned out better than others. All of them caused harm. Most of them were warlike and/or tyrannical.
Bellamy was drawn to Clarke, Finn, Gustus, Lincoln, Kane, Maya, Echo, Pike, Roan. Interestingly, the people Bellamy was drawn to were more likely to be conciliators and peace makers than the ones that Clarke was drawn to. I think that has to do with how they were looking for an aspect of themselves that they had not mastered yet. 
Why has Bellamy been drawn to Echo? Because she reminds him of himself. A tool for the powers that be. A loyal knight. A person willing to do anything for her people. A person struggling with the difference between doing what is right and doing what is best for her people.
Forgiving Echo offers him a chance to forgive HIMSELF. He feels he killed his own mother. He feels a monster. Still. He’s trying to make up for it. Just like he stopped Riley from starting a massacre, to make up for what happened with Finn, finding a way to forgive Echo and help her in her redemption, opens the door for him to forgive himself and find his OWN redemption. Forgiveness and Redemption are big themes. 
Might it open the door for romance? It might. Is it ABOUT romance? It is not.
As for CL. I don’t consider it fanservice. I consider it a story they wanted to tell because it was a good story and involved all the themes and struggles and obstacles they wanted for Clarke Griffin, and one that was dashing and gorgeous and dramatic and romantic and “edgy” or “progressive” or whatever their intention was with making a relationship that started in kidnapping and betrayal a wlw relationship. I don’t think they thought all the repercussions through.
Clarke’s easy forgiveness of L wasn’t necessarily the right thing to do. The story didn’t actually say she deserved to be forgiven. She didn’t REALLY change. L ended her story the way she started her story with The 100. With a kill order on ALL the Sky Crew. Clarke forgave her while her prisoner. She forgave her while Sky Crew was still on lock down and denied freedom and the ability to survive independently or to defend themselves. This is definitely an interpretation of canon, but so is believing that Lxa reached a legitimate redemption. WAS L redeemed? I don’t think so. Some do. 
Did Clarke’s interaction with L make her a better leader? I don’t know. She seemed a lot better leader in season 1. She was certainly less broken, although more naive. Did Clarke’s interaction with L make her a better person? That’s something to consider. 
I do think we have a tendency to use the word “abusive” too much, and people might think that’s ironic coming from me, but I did NOT use that label casually when I said it about CL. I didn’t even just base it on my own personal feelings and experience. I did a LOT of research and tried to define what an abusive relationship meant before I started putting it out there. Abusive relationships are not just saying mean things or causing physical harm. They are about a pattern of continued behavior with intent to control and over power tied with the emotions and connection of intimate relationships. CL took a political relationship ABOUT power and turned it romantic. The power issues never went away. Season 2 was not a romantic relationship, it was a political one with chemistry and attraction. And one kiss which was rebuffed. That is not a relationship. I’m sorry it’s just not. As much as people want that to be a relationship. You don’t get a girlfriend by kissing someone who then says, “sorry I’m not looking for anything right now.” That is not how relationships work.
Echo and Bellamy did not have an abusive relationship because they were not in a relationship. They were comrades and she betrayed him. Then they were enemies. Quite clearly. That is not an abusive relationship. They saved each other and became comrades again at the end of the world. I think we can give them a pass on that since the real enemy was Praimfaya. 
But YES, I can agree that they are paralleling CL with BE. However, just because they use some of the same elements, does NOT mean it’s going to turn out the same way. Compare Bellamy stopping Riley from starting another massacre to Bellamy failing to stop Finn and starting a near genocide. So for all we know, the parallel between CL and BE will serve to show a BETTER way to deal with that betrayal/forced relationship. Let’s watch and see if we get an actual redemption and positive character growth instead of what happened to Clarke. 
And also, remember, Echo is a name of a character in Greek myth. She was in love with Narcissus, who did not love her back, and she pined away for his love until all that was left was her voice, echoing him. Are you SURE they’re setting BE up for some meaningful love relationship? I’m not saying there won’t be a romantic thing, but…the larger narrative and literary themes are not pushing in that direction. 
All I’m saying here is look more closely at how the CL and BE relationships (whatever they may be) affect Clarke Griffin and Bellamy Blake. Because THIS is the story being told. Not the romances themselves, but how those romances (if that’s what they end up being) affect our heroes. 
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