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tiktaalic · 3 years

Text

Oh here’s the mary prequel mini series I plotted out in my head last night. cut for length because im polite but it is not That long

Episode one: mary walks into a fairly empty diner. Sits down at the counter pretty close to some woman she’s never seen before. Orders coffee. Sits there twisting her ring till it comes. Lady she’s never seen before looks her way and says rough night? And mary laughs and says rough few nights. Lady puts down her newspaper and says you look like you need to talk about it. And mary blurts out that she’s thinking about leaving her husband because he’s so boring. Woman listens sympathetically then launches into a perfect speech about marriage being a commitment and she should stay with him and tell him she loves him. Mary is like. Yeah. Okay. Goes back home to try to rekindle things but when she starts trying to tell John how much she loves him she tells him she’s leaving. John says ok. Mary is super relieved. She goes upstairs to pack. Hears someone at the bedroom door while she’s facing her dresser to pack, turn around, it’s John. He shoots her, she dies.

MARY wakes up next to John as he gets ready for work. Brushes it off as a SUPER weird dream and more proof that she does in fact need to leave. After john’s gone she throws together a suitcase then hops in the impala (John carpools) and drives till she hits a gas station. She goes in to pay and the cashier feels weirdly familiar till she realizes it’s the lady from her dream. She is understandably more freaked out. The cashier tells her to have a nice trip home. Mary says she’s not going home. The cashier asks her if she wants to talk about. Mary doesn’t respond and goes to fill up the car and then drives a couple of miles out of town before the car starts making this awful sound. She jumps out to look at it. Car is now smoking. She starts backing up and in a freak accident the car explodes and kills her.

Mary wakes up next to John as he’s getting ready for work.

Rest of the season: mary goes through a few more loops thinking they’re nightmares especially because she keeps seeing the same woman she’s never seen before and she keeps trying to talk to Mary. Eventually mary snaps and screams at the lady to leave her alone and the lady kind of furtively looks around and says I’m trying to help. Mary says I don’t WANT your help and then hightails it and dies again. After a few more loops where the woman is present but never approaches mary, mary stalks up to her and says. Who are you. Lady very wryly says your guardian angel. Mary says how can you help. Lady says you don’t want my help. Mary goes well I changed my mind I want it now. Lady grabs her hands and looks at her and very earnestly says, no, you don’t want my help. weird! Mary leaves. Dies. For awhile mary keeps meeting with the lady just because she’s a semi comforting constant. Lady keeps giving her advice that’s more and more rote just go back to your husband, until eventually she stops doing that and just listens to Mary. When Mary asks what she thinks instead of launching into the stay with him speech she just stands up and says I need to go.

Their meetings after this are pretty similar: the lady will listen, the lady will tell her it’s a hard decision, but when mary asks her what to do instead of saying “go back” like usual, the lady sighs and says she needs to go before she disappears. Eventually mary stops asking because she doesn’t want the lady to disappear so soon. they start spending the day just hanging out. mary takes her to her favorite places in town and asks if she likes them, asks what the lady wants to do, the whole nine yards. day always ends with mary trying to leave john and having a sudden aneurysm/tripping and cracking her skull/etc. after a couple of weeks of this her and the lady hook up and the lady tells mary that her name is anna.

mary dies again and the next day when she sees anna just starts crying about how she doesn’t want to go back. ends her rant with “and i know what you’re going to say, or what you’re not going to say, but just don’t. please.” anna holds her and holds her and after several minutes of silence says “i think you should leave.” mary’s shocked, anna’s shocked, mary has a heart attack and dies.

the next day mary tells anna that she wants to leave with her. anna looks conflicted and terrified but nods. while they’re driving or w/e anna is like mary. this isn’t going to work. you know this isn’t going to work. but i think - look. listen. we don’t have a lot of time. i think i know how to break this. i wrote it down, you’ll have to translate it - and then anna screams and she’s just Not There anymore. this freaks mary the fuck out while she’s driving, she crashes, dies.

mary spends the next morning hitting all the places she’s seen anna before. nothing. she tears up her house and all these places looking for the journal anna was holding before she disappeared. nothing. she gets more and more frustrated and it’s only after she like completely destroys an aisle at the gas station to no response from anyone that she realizes something is more wrong than usual. she goes back out to her car and there’s this guy leaning against it who goes. hi.

she asks who he is, he tells her to call him chuck. she asks what he wants, he says to help her. she doesn’t trust this for obvious reasons. she asks where anna is. he shrugs and says she’s under performance review. she asks if anna’s okay. he laughs and says oh yeah, she’s gonna be a perfect little angel for about the next ten years. then she’s going to have a great life. very loved by her parents. their little miracle baby, you know?

she asks what he really wants. he shrugs. same thing you want, really. for this whole thing to be done with. mary asks what he means. he waves a hand at her. the groundhog day thing. oh. forgot you don’t know what that is yet. the time loop thing. leaving, dying. leaving, dying. look. just go back home to your ever so loving husband, and everything will be fine.

i don’t want to go back to my husband, mary says. you love him, chuck says. i don’t know that i do, mary says. chuck frowns and tilts his head at her. sighs, twists his hand. mary feels like she just got stabbed in the heart. what did you do, she asks. do you love him? and she thinks about it. and she says. yeah. and then she thinks about it some more. and says but i dont like him. i dont like my husband. chuck claps his hands together and says. okay! what don’t you like? he’s boring. chuck smiles. boring! i can work with boring. perfect apple pie boy from kansas not doing it for you, huh? what about this. what about if he was from... illinois. what if it’s just been him and his mom since he was a kid, because his dad stepped out on them. what if the war made him a little harder, which you like more than him staying kind after the war. chuck laughs. oh, i like that a lot better actually. that’s what we’re running with. mary doesn’t say anything to this.

chuck asks her if she’s ready to go back home to her new and improved husband. mary says anna had a journal. so she did, chuck says, and hands it to her. it’s written in sumerian, so good luck with that. you can spend awhile trying to track down a translator, or. he waves his hand, and it all reads in english. she skims through it. will it work? she asks, and chuck snorts. no. of course not. you’re welcome to try. i’ll be here when you’re done. she leaves. tries the spell or whatever. tells john she’s leaving. dies. when she wakes up the next morning, chuck’s sitting at her table. we done with this? he asks, and mary stabs him. he pulls out the knife, looking annoyed. okay, yeah. we’re done with this, he says, and waves a hand and mary gets struck by lightning.

she wakes up. john’s getting ready for work. there are a few cues that tell us this is the same day. john looks over before he leaves and sees that mary’s crying. he’s very confused. asks her what’s wrong. i don’t know, she says. i don’t know. he asks if he should call his mom. she says no. he asks if he should skip work. she says no. he tells her he loves her. she says i love you too, and he leaves. she spends the day pretty dazed. wanders around town not realizing she’s hitting all the spots where she saw anna. goes to a park where a guy runs into her. it’s chuck. oh, sorry. he says. it’s okay, she says, not recognizing him. great day, huh, he says, and she nods, not really paying attention. bet your husband’s enjoying it, he says, and when she looks confused he points to her ring. oh. yeah. she says. sorry, excuse me, she says, i have to get home. i need to start dinner. he smiles at her, winks, and says her husband’s a lucky man.

they eat together. they sleep together. when mary wakes up it’s a new day. she smiles at john before he leaves and kisses him when he gets back home. end miniseries

#etxt #spnwatch #john/mary #jensen i am talking directly in your ear now. hire me

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kcatta-wodahs · 4 years

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MC Who Does Not Fear Death x OM! Demon Brothers

Or maiming, or apparently any other consequences. You’ve walked into this situation with absolutely no filter and no fear. Time to tear down every structure of Devildom society.

Lucifer

You look at him with a withering stare when he tries to intimidate you into behaving.

“I was summoned out of my trashy apartment to this place, where literally anyone could snap me like a twig on accident. I’m just working on the assumption that I’m already dead.”

He sternly looks at you. “You’re under my protection during your time here. No harm will come to you.”

You snort derisively, which visibly irritates him. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t come back to haunt you if it happens.”

As you continue through your life in Devildom he keeps calling you out for meddling and all that, like usual, and he HATES that you literally *do not care* when he threatens you.

Like HE knows that he wouldn’t hurt Diavolo’s transfer student but YOU are supposed to be AFRAID of him dammit.

His frustration at this ends up turning into a form of respect. You’re about the only person who will stand up to him, and tbh like you’re so fucking fragile but you’ll yell at him all day? That takes guts. Annoying guts. But you’ve got guts.

But also STOP IT. He has enough stress in his life and now he’s constantly terrified that you’ve decided it’s a great idea to adopt a baby balrog

Which you did once. He’s just afraid that “Flamin Hot Cheeto” is going to come back since you somehow managed to imprint on it.

despite the fact that the BABY could easily tear your arms off on accident

Not to mention he gets the flack for EVERY SINGLE ONE of these following stories. You stress him out so much. Please. Please, stop.

He’s almost to the point of begging. The Avatar of Pride is three steps away from either locking you away for the rest of the year or begging on his knees for you to calm down.

But you know you’d find a way out if he locked you up so no worries. It’ll be a good challenge.

Mammon

“Well you WON’T be dead because it’s my job to protect you! Are you doubting the Great Mammon?!”

Stupid human. Yeah, you’re fragile and weak, but that’s why HE’S your bodyguard now, and there’s no way in hell (lol) that he would let you die on his watch.

Lucifer would kill him.

You welcome the challenge, and he thinks it’s funny at first but quickly becomes a flustered mother hen.

“NO, we are NOT going out to Madam Scream’s at 3am! Do ya know what kinda CREEPS are out there at 3am?!”

And you sneak out the fucking window.

He has had more heart attacks in the past week than he has had in the last 100 years of life.

He starts agreeing to your ridiculous adventures JUST because then he can actually keep an eye on you.

He adores the chaos of the laugh that bursts from you every time you narrowly escape death.

He HATES how often you have to NARROWLY ESCAPE DEATH. So he will never tell you.

He almost doesn’t have time for his own shenanigans anymore, because all his time is taken up by trying to make sure you stay alive.

And you’ve figured out that if you turn *any* of your ideas into a money-making one, he will join you whole-heartedly.

So you bribe him because what’s money to you anymore anyway?

Leviathan

I mean he doesn’t leave his room much, so tbh he probably just gets texts from you that make him want to scream.

‘hey uh levi say if someone were to hypothetically be stuck in a succubus’ devil basement to become an unwilling sacrifice to asmo what would that person, hypothetically, do?’

‘probably die’ is usually all he sends back

You always come back, because he always sends a text to the other brothers. In that case Asmo came to rescue you himself and scold the succubus.

You become the friend that he makes funny throwing-shade reddit posts about. (Devvit? Devil reddit? Eh??)

‘Levi so this has nothing to do with anything but is there a cure for a dangerously potent ‘always win at rock-paper-scissors' curse? Asking for a friend’

‘Friend is being held hostage tho so maybe be quick about a response’

He didn’t even know that kind of curse existed. None of them did. What the fuck did you do.

How did you get taken captive by playing rock paper scissors?

He doesn’t know. Nobody does. He expects the play-by-play so he can recommend it as a new anime to his favorite producers.

Somehow your chaotic plans end up with stories almost as great as TSL.

Beelzebub

He physically carries you around.

He’s like “fuck this you can’t get into trouble if I’m holding you.”

If Beel’s on MC watching duty, he’s almost the only one who is successful, just because you physically cannot get away.

But at the same time, he is very easily bribed.

So yes, he’ll go to Madam Scream’s with you at 3am. Sounds like fun.

But he is very protective after losing someone he cares about (who you remind him of so much….) so he keeps you close when you’re out and about too.

If you start getting into a fight with some other demon he literally just takes the fight for you and wins with no trouble at all.

You like having Beel with you.

Especially finding street festivals! You’re in a whole new world and there’s a MILLION things to try. Beel is more than happy to try them with you.

But that leads to arguments about whether deadly creatures to humans are still deadly when dead.

“No, you can’t eat that it’s on fire. I know even small fires hurt humans. I’ll eat it for you.”

“That hot sauce makes every demon I know cry. You really shouldn’t buy a bottle. Please. No, don’t try it. No, that’s too much for one-- oh. Oh no.”

He forgives you as long as you don’t actually get hurt and you give him your leftovers.

Asmodeus

“If I get wrinkles because of you I promise you will never hear the end of it. I will curse you forever.”

He swears on every single one of his lovers that you have started giving him grey hairs.

GREY HAIRS, MC.

Why can’t you just settle down and let them all take care of you? You don’t have to prove anything to the other demons!

But you will. You’re living in Devildom now, and by everything unholy, you are going to live that life to its fullest extent.

He was thrilled at first when you were all for joining him at his nightclubs and parties. Now he hides every party’s date from you.

That time you almost threw yourself off a balcony to try and emulate a very drunk demon’s newest dance move.

“I need to stay TRENDY, Asmo!! I’ll be fine!!”

Ever since learning Demonus doesn’t affect humans you have challenged every single stuck-up tough boy to a drinking contest.

And every single time you win, Asmo has had to *narrowly* save you from being killed by said demon.

And you just say “he deserved it” every time.

And like, yeah okay, he probably did but YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE.

Somehow, you manage to out-party Asmo.

dON’T TELL THE OTHERS but he lives for the times when you practically fall asleep on his shoulder while coming home from a rager. You may not get drunk, but when you’re sleepy, you’re so affectionate and something in his heart melts.

Satan

At first, Satan was all for the rebellious “life life with no restraints” thought process you explained to him.

I mean, he didn’t like the assumption that he and his brothers couldn’t control themselves to not accidentally kill you, but also… fair.

But he didn’t realize that this mindset followed through for EVERY demon in ANY place.

Including RAD, where old and wizened demons were *really* not used to being contradicted

Which led to you “accidentally insulting” your 5000 year old Human Studies professor by giving them a pop quiz on current memes (which they failed).

And left Satan as the one who had to make sure that said professor didn’t kill you.

And the thing is, this keeps happening.

You’ve written all over the school’s library books, pointing out every error.

You *continue* to argue with the demons who threaten to kill you when you say silly things like “No, Solomon did not learn his sorcery at Hogwarts because Hogwarts isn’t REAL.”

(Solomon, meanwhile, refutes you vehemently and seems to grow three inches taller every time you glare at him.)

Satan assures you that he values knowledge and truth and all that, but could you maybe find a less dangerous way to push it?

No can do, Satan, because you already had plans with Mammon to use a curse that writes the history of the actual Sorceric Academy that Solomon attended like 400 years all over the desks in Human Studies. It’s activated by anyone saying “Hogwarts”.

No, no, Satan, it’s brilliant, because you can’t do magic. It can’t be you who did it.

Satan, no don’t tell Lucifer.

I thought you hated him. Satan, wait.

You are the only person in the history of ever who convinces him to come to Lucifer for intervention. You wear that badge with pride and also deep, deep, bitter sadness.

Belphegor

Like, through the plot your willingness to be a thorn in anyone’s side just to get more information really works for Belphie.

He’s like all I gotta do is ask? Sweet. Yeah. Go, human.

But then when he’s all big and threatening and “im gonna kill you” and you just kind of look at him and nod like “yeah, this checks out.”

Frankly, that’s rude, MC.

And then he keeps threatening to kill you and it doesn’t even PHASE you like. You just keep listening to him rant and going “OH i think i get it now”

He liked that you were always looking for more information when he was the one pushing you around, but now?

No. Human, he is going to KILL you here, STOP ASKING QUESTIONS.

And then you do the time-travel bit, and see that he *literally has killed you in one timeline* and you just like

Shrug it off and keep talking about Lilith???????

Tbh what probably stopped him from doing it again is just that you’re fucking insane, MC

“MC, you literally just saw yourself dead in Mammon’s arms”

You wave your hand vaguely in his direction and say, “Yeah okay, but can we talk about the lack of communication in this household because it is tearing this family apart.”

What the fuck MC

When he’s back to normal, tbh he loves that side of you. He loves getting into shit when he’s not sleeping. He will 100% encourage you and be there to make sure that you *don’t* actually die again.

He’s the only one who doesn’t actually try to stop you. Who knew he was so into chaos.

But if you try to drag him to a plan when he should be sleeping he will be like Beel and literally just hold you down while he naps dammit. You brought this on yourself. He needs sleep.

#obey me #obey me!#obey me shitposts #obey me crack #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me beelzebub #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me belphegor #bast babbles #my writing #obey me headcanons #gender neutral mc #re-reading this makes me vibrate with the need to destroy things #tldr is that humans are fucked up

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hatsukeii · 4 years

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One where y/n has been obviously in love with Tsuki since they were kids and not afraid to show it, but he’s always been lowkey mean to her and thinks she’s annoying and then finally years later she decides he’s not a nice guy and let’s him know she’s fine with all that crap and then he realizes he’s falling for her and does something really sweet for her and they fall in love? 😭😭🥺👉🏻👈🏻 ty in advance. Sorry if this is too long or specific, if it is, feel free to ignore

I genuinely hope you didn’t think I would actually ignore this<33

IM SORRY IM A MASTER PROCRASTINATOR ILY ALL AND YOU ALL DESERVE AN APOLOGY FROM ME

Dear diary//Tsukishima Kei x Reader

Word Count: 1.4k+

Warnings: Cursing

Genre: Angst??? I guess???

Summary: He’s an ass, but you still love him to bits, and it’s killing you.

July 16, 2008

Dear Diary,

I got to play with Tsukki again! He had his dino with him, it was super cute! He told me his front teeth came off last night, and there’s a big hole in his teeth, but it’s okay, because he said it will grow back. I tried to hold his hand while going down the twin slides but he said it was sweaty, so next time I’ll wear gloves!

You flip through the hot pink diary, cringing at your young infatuation. Your diary entries were cringey as fuck, but they always rekindle something within you whenever you read them. You can’t even remember when you stopped writing in the book. Was it when you turned 10? Maybe 12? You don’t have a single clue.

April 30, 2011

Dear Diary,

Tsukki refused to marry me in the playground at break:(( I’ve known him for so long though, aren’t we supposed to get married? I just wanna hold his hand and hug him and give him a biiiiig kiss<33

Chuckling at the memory, you recalled the event from that entry clearly. You were seven years old only, still an immature kid. You still thought that getting married in a middle school playground was a huge milestone in life, almost as crucial as a legal marriage.

May 29, 2016

Dear Diary,

Love how Tsukki didn’t even remember my birthday:,) Must be nice getting made fun of. Half the students in my class felt my second hand embarrassment from when he completely forgot about it. God, why am I even in love with this asshole? I’m gonna have to go to school tomorrow and deal with all my classmates making fun of me for being hopeless. Brb, currently digging a hole for myself:)

Frowning at the memory, you think back to when you were twelve. He was an asshole then, still is an asshole to this day. And yet not an ounce of your unconditional love and support for him has faded. Grabbing a tissue, you wipe the remaining tears from your eyes, ignoring the dried tear stains on your cheek. Your hand slams onto the bedside table, lazily feeling for your phone. Tilting it towards your face, you sigh at the empty lock screen, accepting defeat. Flicking through the rest of the book, you are welcomed by pages and pages of white. “So that’s when I gave up on this diary...” you mutter to yourself as you lift yourself up from your bed. Heading towards your desk, you absentmindedly grab yourself a pen, notebook in hand. Slamming the diary down, you open it up to the next entry page after your last one, gently placing the tip of your pen on the first line. You grab your hair out of frustration, the ink bleeding into the thin paper. “What to do, what to do...?” You mumble, starting to form sentences in your notebook.

July 17, 2020

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while hasn’t it? Holy shit, all my entries were about Tsukki weren’t they? Jesus, of course they were. At least I was able to get it off my chest this afternoon. Telling him that I’ve been in love with him for years, that was fucking terrifying. Telling him that although I know he’s an ass, an animatronic dick complete with ballsack, that won’t stop me from falling harder, it was gut wrenching, but also relieving to a certain degree. I’m still waiting for some form of response, although I’m not sure I’m gonna get one anytime soon. I can’t decide whether telling him was the dumbest or bravest decision I’ve made. Maybe it was both. Just wait until I look back on this entry like a decade later and still cry about it lmao. Tbh he’s a genuinely nice person at heart. I know that all too well. He may be an ass most the time, and he may think I’m annoying, but despite how hard he tries to push me away, I’ll never abandon him. Jesus Christ, I sound like a yandere here, but it’s not that. It’s that I care for him a lot. Maybe even a bit too much. It’s ridiculous how absolute and utter shit a crush can make you feel.

Throwing the pen down, you flop back onto your bed, huffing into the thick blankets. You stay silent, not sure of what to think of the situation. “I’ll just deal with it all tomorrow, I’m tired of this shit.”

On the other side of the incident, Tsukishima is currently going through a mental crisis.

The blond sits at his desk, eyes unwavering, but focusing on nothing. It feels as if he hasn’t blinked in what seemed to be hours. Just hours of staring at his wall that led to nothing. Your confession plays in his head nonstop, like a broken record that refused to run out of battery.

“The thing is I like you. I’m pretty sure I always have. And I know that you’re such an asshole and all that, you won’t treat me as well as people would expect, but it’s fine. I’m fine with all that. All the dumb, stupid, careless insults you’ll throw at me, the side eyes and sneers, telling me to shut up and go away, I’m fine with it. I know you’re a good person, and that’s all that matters to me.”

“Well shit what the fuck do you want me to say?”

Maybe he shouldn’t have said that.

Maybe he should have let you down slowly.

But as he stares at his wall, the photos of the two of you framed and balanced on his floating shelves, he starts to reconsider his feelings.

The way your expression faltered then as you hastily took your bag and rushed away without a single word, the way you avoided him in the halls, the way you stopped talking to him throughout the day, it drove him crazy. He couldn’t handle the realisation that he hurt you so incredibly badly, so now all he can do is stare at his empty, blank wall. Did he know why he felt that way? No. He didn’t and still doesn’t. He’s Tsukishima fucking Kei, the emotionless, provoking, unlikeable king, yet a mere girl is somehow able to mess with his mind so badly, that all he can do is wallow in regret and confusion? What is this weird feeling? His throat itches, his heart is beating like crazy, sweat starting to gather around his temples. He clamps his two hands together, slamming his forehead onto them and squeezing his eyes shut.

How could I have been so dense?

How was he unable to see that you were absolutely in love with him? Even with the bento boxes, birthday gifts, constant compliments, he still only ever thought you liked him as a friend. However he never did. He likes you more than that. Way more. Yes, he thought, and still thinks you can be annoying at times, especially when you nag at him about not eating enough or being rude, but it was undeniable that there was something else he felt. But his stupid ass shitty ego would never let him admit it. And now that you finally confessed, he freaked out and fucked up. Even then, he didn’t think it would affect him to this extent.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you (Y/N).”

He says that over and over again, desperate to cloud out the disagreeing thoughts in his head that scream otherwise.

“It was a stupid middle school crush, I’m over you.”

The guilt didn’t go away.

In fact, now that he’s said all that, he feels even worse. Oh how much he wants to find you right this second, wrap you in his arms, tell you how incredibly sorry he is, but he can’t. He doesn’t deserve to do that. His heart is begging for him to just get out of the house and run to yours as fast as he could, but his body won’t move. He wants to cry. Scream. Shout. Throw something. Shatter something. But most of all, he wants to get another chance.

Picking up his phone, he hesitates, before typing in your contact, the cleared out, empty chatroom showing up on his screen. Going as fast as his fingers could, he typed out the one sentence he’s been dying to let out.

“It was a middle school crush, but I’m still into you. I always have been.”

Is it just me, or is this bad-

Idk man it seems like all my fics are pretty much the same and I hate it😌

Tags:

@sunshines-and-tatertots @izzyphantomgamer @justachillgirl @trashcanweeb @just-another-bored-writer @poppirocks @majorfangirl37 @kaylacinderella @random-fandomlover @tiger1719 @tiredgr3mlin @itmekisuu @skyeackermans @talks-a-lot-of-stuff @shoutsukii @agentvicinity @sakusasgarbage @kuroo-thought-of-a-better-un @sneezefiction @bokutokoutarou @thirstyvolleyballhoe @iwaixiumi @iwaigroomi @inlwlevi

Feel free to comment or pm to be added to taglist!

I’m back to writing lmao I’m bored in two week quarantine rn

Edit: cue me realising I was half asleep and missed something in the request don’t be surprised if I repost this💀💀💀💀

Btw the hq manga just ended time to cry

💕💕💕💕

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a-solitary-marshmallow · 3 years

Text

Rewind Chapter 7 - Mistakes are Made

Oh jeez, I mean to post this days ago but I totally forgot! Whoops.

As you might have noticed, updates are coming pretty slow at the moment. This fic is getting hard to write, due to personal circumstances and shifting hyperfixations, but I will continue it once I’m able to get invested again. Until then, updates will probably be slow. Rest assured, this fic will be completed!

Hope you guys enjoy this chapter :)

_______________________________________________________________

After a few more necessary hours of sleep, which for Ford were deep and dreamless, the construction itself began in two different corners of the lab. On one side Fiddleford dove into making a working prototype of the gun, while on the other side Ford began cooking up ammunition.

Few things could kill a dream demon. Protective unicorn magic could halt one, and the right concoction of ingredients could harm one, but working together they might just be able to kill one. Therein lay the rub – how could the two be combined into a single shot? Luckily, Ford didn’t have his three PHDs for nothing, and he was nothing if not persistent.

:readmore:

By mid-morning he had worked out the necessary ratio of ingredients for the most effective attack power. By afternoon he had created the first prototype, and by late afternoon he had a dish full of them.

The final bullet design had a pill-like appearance, spherical in shape and filled to the brim with cloudy, iridescent magic. They made a glass-like tinkering noise as they dropped into their dish. Ford took a pair of tweezers and lifted one to the light, admiring its shine.

“That looks cool.” Stan said hesitantly from behind him – how long had Stan been being him? Ford yelped and fumbled, nearly dropping the capsule. “Sorry.”

“Don’t sneak up on me when I’m working!” Ford snapped. He hurriedly placed the ammunition back on its tray before it could get broken and turned to frown at his brother. Stan, for his part, looked suitably ashamed. “What are you doing down here anyway? I told you, you’re not allowed in the lab.”

“I know, I know!” Stan’s shoulders were around his ears and creeping steadily higher with each second that passed. “Just – I thought you and Fidds would be hungry? You’ve been doing your science thing for ages and I made food, so…”

“Oh.” For the first time, Ford comprehended the tray in his brother’s hands. “Well, thank you. You’re still not supposed to be down here though.”

Stan stood on his tiptoes to lift the tray onto Ford’s workbench. The normally exuberant boy seemed unusually down, stepping back and rubbing his arm after placing down his load, and a twinge of guilt went through Ford. Okay, maybe a little more than a twinge. He sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“Look – Stanley. I need to apologize for my behaviour earlier. I shouldn’t have gotten short with you.”

Stan shrugged and did not meet his eyes. Ford crouched to be at his brother’s level.

“I. Um, those dreams you told me about. Did you have any more last night?”

Stan stared at his feet and mumbled, “No.”

Ford took a deep breath, but before he could speak Fiddleford called out from across the lab.

“Stanford, I could use a hand over here!”

Ford straightened and hurried over to where his partner was soldering parts together. The gun was beginning to take shape on his workbench – maybe the size of a small hunting rifle but thicker, runes scratched into every inch of shiny metal and shimmering with Bill-proof magic. Fiddleford lifted his soldering mask to wipe his damp forehead.

“I already added yer magic wards and the last of that shiny hair stuff, an’ I gotta finish the magazine. Hold the thing steady for me, will ya? It’s delicate and we’re all outta unicorn hair to make another one, so for god’s sake be careful.”

“Of course.” Ford slipped on a pair of heat-proof gloves and steadied the rifle while Fiddleford lined up the parts. He made sure to avert his eyes from the glow of white-hot metal as his friend worked.

“Watcha doing?” Stanley called from across the lab.

“Attachin’ the last piece.” Fiddleford called back, not taking his eyes off the rifle. “Don’t get to close, or ya might get burned.”

“What bit is that?”

“It’s where the ammunition is stored.” Fiddleford explained.

“Oh! Like the shiny things Ford made?”

“Exactly.”

Once the soldering was complete Fiddleford lifted his mask to inspect the job, squinting through his glasses. He nodded to himself.

“Could use a bit a’ fine-tuning, but I’d call that almost done.”

Footsteps sounded as Stanley approached cautiously. Fiddleford grinned at the child, who stretched onto his tiptoes to see the project. “Whaddya think?”

Stan’s eyes lit up. “That looks so cool! This Bill guy isn’t gonna know what hit ‘im!” He looked between Ford and Fiddleford. “Whaddya do with it now?”

“We gotta make sure everythin’ runs smoothly before anything.” Fiddleford pulled off his soldering mask and wiped his sweaty brow. “Ford, would ya get the ammunition? Once this thing cools down I wanna make sure the dimensions are right.” He began pulling off his thick gloves.

“I can do that!” Stan scurried over to Ford’s workbench, ignoring Ford’s cry. He grabbed the dish of capsules and trotted back with the enthusiasm of a golden retriever playing fetch. Ford let out a hiss.

“Be careful with those!” He snatched them from his brother’s hands, heart racing. The ammunition seemed unharmed, but you could never be too careful, especially when there was a child around. Especially when there was Stanley around. He acted so thoughtlessly sometimes, that was the reason Ford hadn’t allowed him down here in the first place!

Stan looked sufficiently ashamed. “Sorry, Ford.”

Ford placed the bullets down very carefully next to the cooling rifle. “Why don’t you go upstairs? This is delicate work.”

“But you guys seem really busy. I can help!”

“No, Stan. This is very important work and you might break something.”

“No, but I’m good at stuff!” Stan protested. “I can carry stuff, and punch people, and get unicorn hair! I can be useful. You wanna move this to a bigger table? I can do it, see?” And to Ford’s horror he grabbed the gun off the table. Ford snatched for it, but Stan had already yelped as his bare hands came into contact with scorching metal and the rifle slipped from his grip.

Fiddleford dove to catch it. He crashed chest-first into the ground and only barely managed to snag it before it was dashed against the floor as well. The ammunition was not so lucky – the dish overturned in the scuffle and pellets skittered every which way, disappearing under surfaces and around shoes. Stan fumbled to try and collect them, but he was only making it worse, knocking them away in his panic.

“Sorry, sorry sorry sorry-”

“I said no!” Ford roughly grabbed his brother’s arm and yanked him away from the workspace, ignoring Stan’s yelp. “Every time, every time I think we’re past this you just have to go and mess everything up again! Are you not capable of doing what I say for once in your life and just leaving well enough alone? I told you not to touch anything! You could well have destroyed our one chance at getting rid of Cipher once and for all!”

“I’m sorry, okay?!” Stan whined and tried to pull away – dodging responsibility once again, just like always. Ford growled and held him in place.

“Now, Stanley, you– quit squirming! – you will sit down and be quiet and not touch anything else, is that understood?”

“Ford, leggo!” Stan squeaked.

“You are to stay away from Fiddleford and I while we work. I will not have you sabotaging me again, not like you did at the science fair-”

Stan punched him in the face.

It was a weak blow from a tiny fist – it barely hurt – but the shock at having his brother strike him made Ford freeze. Stan ripped from his grip and stumbled back with a whimper that sounded dangerously like a sob.

…oh.

Ford didn’t even have to look at his brother’s pale, tearstained face to realize that he had, perhaps, gone a little overboard.

“Stanley-” Ford couldn’t think of anything to say. What was there to say? Stan looked terrified, and Ford supposed he cut a rather intimidating figure to such a small person. He reached out but Stan jerked away violently from his hand.

Why wasn’t Stan getting mad at him in return? The Stan Ford knew would have yelled right back. Ford could handle anger, but he had no idea how to handle fear.

“Stan, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

He reached out again, helplessly. The instant his fingertips touched Stan’s shoulder the child recoiled, throwing his hands up as if to defend himself. But surely he knew Ford would never hurt him?

“No! No no no don’t touch me leave me alone! Go away! I hate you and I don’t ever wanna see you again go away!”

Ford flinched, and Stan took the opportunity to spin on his heel and bolt for the stairs. Ford froze, torn between chasing after him and staying to clean up the mess.

“Ford, a little help!” Fiddleford yelped, and Ford made up his mind. He whipped around and hurried to help his friend lift the rifle back onto his workbench. As he took the weight of the rifle Fiddleford snatched his hands back, wincing at the bright red burns that seared across his palms. “Ouch.”

Ford was careful to keep away from the hot section of metal as he lifted the gun back onto the table. When it was secure he was finally able to take a breath and turn to his friend.

“Fiddleford, are you alright?”

“Ah’m fine, just gotta get these in some water. Where’d Stanley go?”

“I – I don’t know.”

Fiddleford’s eyes widened. “If he goes outside the barrier-”

There were more words, but Ford had stopped processing them. He bolted for the stairs.

Stan was such an idiot.

He hadn’t even stopped to put on shoes before running into the woods, and he already couldn’t feel his toes from the stinging cold. Well, who cared anyway? He just had to get away.

Stan’s numb foot caught on a root and sent him hurtling to the ground, grating his face and hands on frigid, snowy dirt. He let out a squeaking wheeze as the air left his squashed lungs, letting out little hitching coughs and sobs as he struggled to regain his breath.

Shut up shut up shut up, stop being such a wimp. He pushed himself up on shaky arms and sniffled, rubbing at his nose with a pathetic whimper.

Okay. So, everything was crashing down around him. That was fine. Everything was just fine. He still had – um.

What did he have?

There was something in his fist. Stan sniffed and uncurled his fingers to reveal a tiny shimmering pearl resting in his palm. He stared at it, blinking tears from his eyes.

“What the heck are you?”

Oh, wait. It was one of Ford’s bullet things. Stan’s grip tightened around it, that stupid little ball that was so important to his brother.

He placed it on the ground, climbed to his feet, and lifted a foot to stomp down on it.

And hesitated.

Because it was stupid, but Ford seemed to think these were so important, and Stan just couldn’t crush something that meant that much to his brother. He hiccupped and growled to himself.

He couldn’t do it.

Stan shoved it in his pocket and headed further into the woods.

Stan wasn’t in the house.

A quick, desperate search revealed Ford’s home empty. Luckily a fresh layer of snow lay on the ground outside – a trail of footprints disappeared into the woods and he bolted after them, snatching his coat on his way out. Of all the places to go! The forest wasn’t safe, Ford had to get his brother back inside the barrier where Bill couldn’t reach them-

His foot slipped on wet snow.

Ford barely had time to flail before his legs slipped from under him and his head hit a tree trunk with a decisive clunk.

#gravity falls #rewind #chapter 7

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diddlesanddoodles · 4 years

Text

Dumpling ch. 20

(Author’s notes: Posting this one early as a thank you to @thespicynoodle for all the amazing art work they did for Dumpling!)

To Yale’s credit, he did not immediately dismiss her claims of dead people in the walls as the stressed induced imaginings of a lunatic. He waited for her to calm down and then asked her gently, “What do you mean in the walls? Here in the castle?”

She nodded, fighting a fresh wave of tears. “I saw them...when...”

“S’alright. Don’t force yerself. Just take deep breaths and talk when yer good and ready, eh?”

After a moment, she had regained enough composure to begin to explain just how she had managed to come across the catacombs.

“Oh, Dumplin’. No need t’be scared of some dusty old bones,” Yale assured her. “The dead can’t hurt ya.”

“But...”

“Probably been there since the castle was first built thousands of years ago. This place has been destroyed and rebuilt and switched hands so many times over the centuries I wouldn’t be surprised t’know it use to be a human castle. Someone had t’ave built them tunnels after all.”

“Yale...” she said quietly. She was so afraid to say it out loud. “They spoke to me...”

He blinked in confusion and seemed to have trouble understanding exactly what she was trying to say. “The...bones?”

“I’m not crazy...” she sobbed, feeling the shame and fear of not being believed, but Yale hurriedly hushed her.

“Nah, nah. I believe ya!” he assured her, bending his head lower as if to show her his grinning face. “Just...never heard of bones talkin’ before.”

He watched her for a moment, studying her face. “Ya tell Maevis about it?”

She shook her heard as she wiped the moisture from her face with the collar of her smock.

“Just you...”

“Just me?” Yale asked pleasantly surprised. “Well, don’t that make me feel special.”

She could not help but smile at that and it was glorious how it seemed to break apart the heavy stone that seemed to have lodged inside her stomach. The welling of emotion seemed to be drying up and she began to feel a little more in control of herself.

“S’ what did they say?” he asked, propping his head up in his hand. “These chatty bones.”

“I couldn’t understand them at first,” she said. “But they were saying...the prophecy about the King? The one that… why everyone calls him the Gold King...”

Yale looked incredulous and just a bit disappointed. “That’s...odd. I would’ve thought they’d have something a little more interestin’ to say stead of that old thing.”

“But in my dream...the nightmare, I mean...” she said. “It said...he said that someone could see me and was coming...”

“Hm,” Yale pondered that, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. “That what has ya scared, eh? Something from the dark’s gonna come after ya?”

"I don’t know...maybe...”

“Well,” said the young giant. “I’ll say this. You’ve had a rough go of it fer as young as ya are. I’m not gonna tell ya yer wrong to be scared, ‘cause if I were ya, I’d be terrified all the time. But if ya can believe anything, ya can believe me in this…"

He pinched her face gently between two fingers. “I ain’t gonna let anything bad happen to ya.”

She did believe him, but even that wasn’t enough to fully erase the questions and concerns. As though sensing her doubt, he squished her face lightly and despite her somber mood,

Nenani could not keep the giggle from escaping. Yale hummed, satisfied.

“Have I ever told you about my family or how I started here?” he asked. Nenani shook her head, still smiling, as she pushed his fingers away. He gave her no paused and scooped her up then settled into his bunk himself. One he made himself comfortable, he sat her down on one of his bent knees. “Well, there’s me Mum. Dad passed some years ago when I was small, around yer age. I’m the oldest and only son and then there’re m’ sisters. I’ve got six younger sisters, lass. Six! Lots of hungry lil’uns running round, gettin’ into scapes and pullin’ hair. I had t’be there fer ‘im when I was still a babe myself.”

Yale paused, lost in thought, and then seemed to snap back to attention. He smiled warmly at her. “And ya remind me a whole lot of ‘em. Th’way they were back then. Suppose that might be why I took such a likin’ t’ya right after I first caught ya.”

He poked her in the belly, grinning when he was able to weasel another giggle from her.

“It was real rough after dad died. Real tough. Mum and me were at it alone just the two of us fer a long while, just trying to keep food in the house and a fire lit. I...didn’t handle it well. Started stealin’ and being a lil shit and makin’ hard fer Mum.” He paused to take a long rejuvenating breath. “I know how hard life can get when ya don’t have just one of yer folks around and had I lost Mum too...I don’t know what I’d done. I was a mess back then. Worried Mum sick that I’d end up arrested or worse. So she got me a job here as a tenderfoot under Farris since he had a reputation fer straightenin’ out snot nosed hooligans like me. M’first day I called Farris fat and he punched me in the face.”

Seeing Nenani’s incredulous expression, Yale laughed. “Oh yeh, I did. It took some time, but he managed to straighten me out right. Hatin’ him fer it fer a while too. But once he saw that I wasn’t entirely hopeless and actually had a brain, he made me his assistant and started teachin’ me about the spices and plants. Gave me responsibilities. A purpose. A direction t’my life that I didn’t have before. And in a lot of ways he saved m’life too. And m’family’s. S’why he call yell and scream and curse at me all he wants all day long and I’ll still be singin’ his praises till the day I’m six feet under the dirt. He made me family.”

“...but don’t you miss your Mom and sisters?”

“A’course! Oh, I write to’ em when I can,” Yale said. “Four of m’sisters are married with lil’uns of their own now. I try to visit ‘em just before th’ winter solstice, but I haven’t been in a long while. Last letter I wrote t’my Mum was just after you came to us actually. Wanna know what she said?”

“What?”

“Well, first she scolded me fer makin’ ya think we were gonna eat ya and makin’ ya cry, but then she also reminded me to remember what it was like right after Dad passed and all that hurt I had inside and how scared I was. She said imagine if ya were one of my lil’ sisters goin’ through all what ya were and to make ya feel like ya had a safe place to just be to get through that hurt.”

He smiled sadly at her and for a moment, he looked much older than he was and she could see the faint traces of his own trauma etched into the lines of his face.

“Now, I know we ain’t ya blood family and maybe we’re not the best role models fer a wee lass, but I think we’re an alright substitution. We do in a pinch, eh?”

Nenani belatedly realized she was crying again, but the fuel that was feeding the tears was an entirely different emotion. “So ya don’t need to be scared no more.”

Gingerly, Yale wiped her cheeks with a corner of his apron. His smile was so comforting to Nenani that she could feel the last flecks of her night terror dissipating and leaving her with a solid sense of warmth and security. Wordlessly, Yale plucked her up again and settled down against his pillow before placing her on his chest and draping one hand over her shoulders and back, rubbing lightly. He began to sing…

Far away in the blue hill valley

Therein lies a weeping willow tree

Its bark is silver

and the leaves are golden

But I care for none of these

Don’t cry my darling

For I am here with you

Though you can no longer see me

I’ll be with you

In the blue hill valley

Sleeping with you

Underneath that weeping willow tree

…………………………………………..

When she woke the next morning, light was spilling through the open curtain to the barracks and she was confused to find that she was all alone. All around her, the other bunks were empty with clear evidence that they had been slept in, but no giants. She found it very odd that she had not been awoken with the rest of them, but as she thought about it further, she decided not to question it and enjoy the relative quiet and comfortable place on Yale’s pillow. However, just as she was drifting back to sleep, the light from the kitchens flickered and she opened her eyes to see Farris standing next to the bed, looking down at her with an amused smirk.

“Enjoy yer pitty sleep, Dumplin’?” he asked. She stretched and tried to bury herself further into plush bedding while making an incoherent mewling sound that translated roughly to ‘I still wanna sleep’. Farris laughed and slapped the wooden support of the bunk above. “Yer burnin’ the mornin’ away, lass. C’mon, up with ya. Yer with me today.”

She mumbled something in reply, but her words muffled by the pillow.

“Well, suit yerself,” Farris replied, walking back through the curtains and yelling back to her, “Ya just wont be gettin’ any breakfast then.”

Nenani pushed herself upright, strands of wild frizzled hair draping over her face and she hollered back. “No! Wait! I want breakfast!”

Nenani rolled down the pillow and hastily clambered down the side of the bunk and stopped just outside the barracks entryway where Farris’s boots blocked her path. He looked down at her expectantly and raised an eyebrow. “Yer lookin’ a lil’ bushy there, lil’un.”

Nenani ran her hands over her head and tried to brush down her wild hair. She had not braided it the day before as she normally did to keep it neat as Lolly had shown her, and having slept with it unbound had left her with quite a mane. Farris watched her try to tame her hair for a moment before shaking his head and bending down, crooking his finger at her and trying not to laugh. “C’mon, lass. Ya can try and manage that thing over yer porridge.”

Farris sat her on the long table with a small helping of porridge and handed a note off to a footman before disappearing into the spice pantry. Kol and Quinn were in the throws of the last big push for the morning’s baking and had no time for morning greetings as servants and footmen flooded in to collect their offerings onto trays and into baskets for the upstairs tables. Herit was on pit duty and still wore his torn shirt, now repaired, but not very well.

“Feeling better?” he asked, smiling at her despite the arduousness of his task.

“Yeah, a lot,” she replied, flushing a little in embarrassment. “It was just a nightmare. Sorry for screaming...”

“I had real bad nightmare once,” Herit told her. “I dreamed that m’ old Gran visited me here and she started yelling at me fer not puttin’ enough sultanas in the scones like she’d taught me,” he said. “Then she turned into Farris, but still had on Gran’s frock and I ended up brunin’ the scones.”

Nenani snorted into her porridge, which Herit deemed a victory, but his smug grin dropped as soon as Farris exited the spice pantry. The spice master pinned the younger Vhasshalan with a warning eye. “I don’t wanna be hearin’ nothin’ about me wearin’ yer Nan’s frock again, Herit.”

“Aye, boss.”

“Good lad. Keep that spit going now, no slackin’. It’ll put some strength into them beans ya call arms.”

Red in the face with both embarrassment and exertion, Herit turned his attention back to turning the iron handle of the spit. A fat boar, just barely showing any color, rotated slowly over the fire. Nenani ate her breakfast, watching the comings and goings of the kitchen in full swing. When no one was looking, Kol ran over and slipped her a piece of sweet roll and then gave the remaining portion to Herit, who gratefully stuffed it into his mouth. When Farris walked back into the main kitchen, the young giant hurriedly began to turn the spit faster to make it appear that nothing was amiss while trying to quickly chew and swallow.

Farris had began to organized a selection of various cloth covered pots and small satchels filled with herbs, placing the lot of them in a basket. Once satisfied, he set a kettle onto to the fire and then took a moment to check the rotating boar. He hummed disapprovingly and turned his head to bark at Herit that he was turning too fast.

“Yer gonna drop dead at that pace,” he warned. “Steady, boy.”

“Avery makes this look so easy...” Herit grunted, wincing as he went. “No wonder he’s built like a bull.”

“Let that be a lesson to put ya off from fightin’ in my kitchen,” Farris laughed. “Think about yer sore arms next time ya get the urge to throw a punch.”

“What’s this about fighting?” Nenani’s head turned at hearing the familiar female voice and she smiled brightly as Lolly stepped down from the servants stairway and into the kitchen.

“Nothing, lass,” Farris assured her. “The tenderfoots got into it last night. Gjerk’s got a busted lip, but that’d be the worst of it.”

Lolly looked Herit up and down with a critical eye. She did not seem impressed. “Brawling at your age? Really. Your mother would swat you.”

“Already did it fer her,” Farris quipped proudly. “Pit duty fer that one today, then Gjerk’s turn tomorrow. A few hours turnin’ a boar will do the trick nicely.”

“I suppose it would,” Lolly said approvingly before turning her attention to Nenani who was standing near the edge of the table. She crouched down, smiling brightly and gently took each of Nenani’s hands in hers, playfully swinging them to and fro. “But I’ve come to check on this one. How are you, my darling?”

“I’m doing good,” Nenani said. She had not seen Lolly very much at all since first arriving in Vhasshal as her duties kept her very busy and it made her that much happier to see her again. Lolly and the other lady servants had been so charitable to her and she had never forgotten that kindness. Lolly laughed lightly, turning her attention to Nenani’s wild mane of unkempt hair. “What are we going to do with all this? Haven’t you been keeping it tied up like I taught you?”

“I have, I promise,” she assured Lolly. “But I didn’t yesterday. I...forgot.”

“She had quite th’adventure yesterday,” Farris added. “Suppose ya heard all about the Ibronian.”

“Creag?” Lolly asked, saying his name almost like a curse. She scowled at the mentioning of it as though it left a sour and unpleasant taste in her mouth. “Yes, I am regretfully very familiar with his person.”

“S’ya hear about him tyrin’ t’kill Jae, then?”

“I did,” Lolly said, looking genuinely concerned. A stark contrast to how Nenani recalled the last time she had spoken about the King’s ward. “He isn’t hurt is he?”

“Nah, the brat’s still in one piece,” Farris assured her. He jerked his head down in gesture towards Nenani. “That one was with ‘im when the Ibrinoan went after ‘im though.”

Lolly’s eyes grew wide.

“What? No!” Lolly turned her attention back to Nenani, seeming to be searching for some evidence of injury or trauma. “He didn’t hurt you, did he? Ah! That bastard, I could skin him.”

“Oh, ho-ho!” Farris laughed, eyes bright with mirth at Lolly’s verbal slippage. “Language, lass!”

“Oh, shut it, Farris. I’m sure she’s heard far worse down here with you lot.”

“Oh, aye,” he agreed. “That she has. But narry ya worry. He wasn’t interested in that one anyway. They’re both fine and unharmed. Rattled a bit maybe, but nothing more. Did manage to lose her marker though.”

“Oh, did she,” Nenani felt her face flush as Lolly hummed thoughtfully, scanning her over with a critical eye. “Well, I see you’ve gotten her a new one.”

“Keral found her wanderin’ the halls alone,” Farris explained as he retold the story of the prior day’s escapades. He seemed to have been able to find the humor in it and didn’t seem to be at all angry and she was very grateful for that. “And ya know how he gets with ‘em.”

“Oh, you haven’t any standing this that defense,” Lolly reprimanded. “You’re just as terrible. You all had this one absolutely petrified. Took us over an hour to convince her she was safe and no one was actually going to eat her.”

Farris just shrugged noncommittally. He was not denying the accusation.

“Best way to keep wayward humans from wandering onto the grounds is t’make ‘em too scared to even try,” he said. “’Course that was before I decided I’d keep her. Then she caught the reap.”

Lolly’s eyes turned sad for a moment and she nodded knowingly.

“So it’s true then?” he asked her suddenly, bringing the topic back to Creag. “He’s bein’ sent off?”

“Yes,” she said. “He was escorted to the border this morning.”

“Suppose the Queen’s not too happy about that.”

“It was her idea,” Lolly replied. “His majesty was going to have him serve a small sentence and return back to her service, but she recommended that he be sent back home.”

“Really? Well, I find that shockin’.”

“I know what people have been saying about her. And while I don’t think she has not been deserving of some of it, Queen Rosanna is making an effort to conform to our ways.”

“The humans ya mean.”

“Yes. She’s been very receptive to my and the other ladies advice when we speak of their virtues. The war is over. These people are broken and lost and mean no harm to us. I think we finally began to get through to her and I believe that might have been what angered Creag into action.”

“That’s why he went after Jae? ‘Cause he was pissed his mistress might be changin’ her tune?”

“I don’t know this for a fact,” Lolly replied. “But the day before yesterday was when I suggested she try and make amends with Jae or at the very least allow him to properly apologize for his behavior. As a good faith gesture to the King at the very least. His majesty has been worried that Jae hasn’t come to see him in so long. Since the wedding, I believe. She must have noticed her new husband was not happy about that. And then yesterday Creag did what he did. And now here we are speaking of it.”

Farris leaned against wall, humming contemplatively. “Hm.”

“I was actually hoping to speak with Jae,” Lolly said, craning her head looking about the room. “He is here is he not?”

“Aye,” Farris replied with a nod. “King’s orders were to keep ‘im down here till he collected the brat himself. Bart’s puttin’ ‘im to some weed pullin’ out in the yard. Gotta keep them little hands busy or they’ll find their own trouble.”

“Ah, good. I will go to him later,” she said, running her fingers over the brush of Nenani’s hair. “For now, though, I think I need to fix this one’s hair before she starts attracting birds.”

“Attracting birds?” Nenani asked bewildered. Farris grinned at them both.

“She’s sayin’ birds might wanna start buildin’ their nests in yer hair,” he chuckled. “If they haven’t already.”

Nenani opened her mouth to protest, but could not come up with an adequate response.

“Hm,” Lolly mused, again studying the whole of Nenani’s person. “Maybe a bath first and a change of clothes. Farris, could I trouble you for-”

“Already ahead of ya, lass,” Farris replied, pulling the boiling kettle from the fire and setting it down atop a wooden trivet. “I’ve got a basin ready in the pantry and her spare clothes are in the chest on the shelf just there.”

Lolly nodded approvingly. She gathered Nenani up and tucked her into the crook of one arm and reached for the kettle with her free hand. “If I didn’t know any better, Farris, I’d say you’re starting to become quite good at this.”

“Ain’t nothing to knowin’ when someone needs a bath, lass,” he laughed.

“I do not stink!” Nenani snapped, incredulous.

Farris did not reply and Herit just laughed.

…………………………………….

She had forgotten how nice a hot bath felt, especially as the weather was increasingly cold and rainy. The basin was quite large and its normally use was for pealing giant rhotas, which were just very large potatoes. So she had plenty of room to splash about and Lolly even indulged her and allowed her a few minutes of free play before getting down to the business of actually washing. Her hair, as Lolly warned her, was a beast to get washed and untangled. But at last, Lolly exited the spice pantry with a clean and brushed Nenani. Hair neatly plaited and tied.

“I’ll talk with the girls about making you some more clothes,” she muttered as she rummaged through the small chest of clothes, all of which had been made by her and her fellow lady servants. “You’ll be growing out of these ones in no time. And a scarf too, I think. And some boots, as well. These slippers are starting to wear awfully thin and – oh! Jae there you are! I had hoped to...why are you all wet?”

Jae had wordlessly entered the kitchens, red faced and fuming. And completely soaked from his head to his toes. Out in the courtyard, Bart was hysterically laughing. Upon hearing Lolly, both Quinn and Kol glanced over and upon seeing the boy’s sorry state, they too let lose a bout of hearty laughter.

“Yer lookin’ like a drowned rat!”

“Fuck off,” Jae growled.

“What happened?” Nenani asked.

“The gutter was clogged,” he growled, not really looking anyone in the face. “I unclogged it.”

“Are you alright?” she asked.

“No,” Jae replied. “Not really...”

Jae leaped easily down the few steps and into the kitchen proper and made a bee line towards the hearth, ostensibly to warm himself up. Lolly stopped him, blocking his path with her foot.

“You need to change out of those clothes, young man. You’ll catch sick.”

“Fantastic,” Jae replied flatly, glaring up at the large woman. “But it doesn’t matter anyway since I haven’t any spare clothes.”

“You have plenty in your room,” Lolly replied, returning his glare. “You remember, don’t you? Your room? The one you haven’t even seen in weeks?”

“Well I can’t get to them now,” Jae snapped, raising his voice and becoming visibly agitated. “Warren says I can’t leave till he says so. So here I’m staying. In wet clothes. Because fuck it!”

“Don’t take that tone with me, son,” Lolly shook her head disapprovingly. “What has gotten into you of late? You disappear for weeks at a time and when you do show up you’re in the Library and you don’t speak to anyone-”

“You mean I don’t speak to you,” he spat.

“Or the King,” Lolly spat back. “Do you have any idea just how worried he’s been?”

“Obviously not enough to actually come and find me!” Jae yelled angrily, his voice breaking. “You tell me that I’m wrong for not going to him? Why did he never come to check to see if I was okay? Because I’m the joke. Oh let’s have a big laugh at Jae! Fucking idiot can’t do anything right. It’s so funny how he got drunk and spilled gravy on the Queen! So embarrassing for him. Let’s laugh at the poor fucking orphan boy who can’t even sleep in his own damn room anymore because some boulder headed lunatic thinks I’m somehow going to kill Vhasshalan’s unborn heir. Isn’t that fucking hilarious!”

No one was laughing anymore and Herit’s winding of the spit had slowed almost to a stop. Both Quinn and Kol were frozen and staring, bowls of dough stopped mid-knead. From the outside courtyard, Yale and Avery poked their heads inside, curious at the commotion.

“Jae,” Lolly said softly, her words painted with faint concern. “None of that is true...”

“You wanna know why I spend so much time up in the tower with Barnaby and Maevis?” he asked, breathless with emotion and anger and pain. “BECAUSE THEY DON’T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I’ A FUCKING IDIOT!”

“Alright,” Farris snapped, appearing from behind Lolly. He glowered down at the human boy and reached down to sweep Jae up in his two calloused hands, not very gently either. “That’s enough of yer bellyaching, ya lil’shit.”

Jae was not happy at all as he was lifted off of the ground and he struggled violently, tears blurring his vision. “Farris, I swear to the fucking Gods if you don’t put me down right now-!”

Farris deftly grasped the boy’s face between his fingers, forcing him to maintain eye contact. “You’ll be quiet is what yer gonna be, boy. Do you understand me?”

Jae’s breathed hard through his nose, nostrils flaring. He glared into the kitchen master’s face, but did not say anything. Farris brought his face closer to Jae’s and lowered his voice in warning. “I said...do you understand?”

Jae jerked his head in something akin to a nod. Satisfied, Farris tucked Jae under one arm and turned to Lolly. “We don’t have anything fer ‘im to change into. Ya mind fetchin’ him something, lass?”

Lolly looked as though she wanted to say something, but stopped herself. She spared one sad glance towards Jae before nodding to Farris. “I can do that. I won’t be long.”

As Lolly turned to rush up the servants entrance stair well, Farris turned and disappeared into the spice pantry and closed the door behind him.

………………………….

Nenani sat quietly on the table, staring at the green door and worried. Since she first met Jae, she had sensed a sadness about him, hidden under his jokes and laughter. And it made her incredibly sad to know her friend had been hurting and not once had she tried to help him.

She was a terrible friend and it made her feel wretched.

“Cheer up, Dumplin’,” Yale told her as he took an empty seat near her. “Jae will be fine.”

“He was really sad,” Nenani answered back without looking away from the green door. Her dejected and sad frown gave Yale pause, and he reached out nudged her shoulder. When she turned her doleful eyes to him, he sighed.

“Remember what I told ya last night?” he asked her. She nodded. “Well, he’s going through that hurt too. Best thing ya can do fer ‘im to keep being his friend, eh? He thinks just ‘cause we give ‘im a hard time means we ain’t ‘is friends, but it ain’t true. Don’t gotta be ‘round here long before ya realize we haze all the tenderfoots. He’s just growin’ up and confused. Old enough to know some things and too young to know anything else. He ain’t the same lil’ urchin the King dragged back from the moors all them years ago. When ya get t’be around his age you’ll understand. The time between being a kid and becoming an adult is really hard and confusing.”

“...will I be that angry?” she asked, not entirely following.

“I’m ain’t no prophet,” Yale shrugged. “But maybe. Ya both have a lot in common, losing yer folks young. That pain can make ya real angry if ya don’t know what t’do with it.”

She did not find that to be much consolation, but she nodded anyway. Lolly returned a little over twenty minutes later with a small bundle and without any greetings to the others, she went straight for the green door and knocked lightly.

“It’s me, Farris,” she said. “I have his clothes.”

The door opened a crack and there were some words exchanged that were too quiet for anyone else to hear. Finally, Lolly nodded and turned back towards the stairway as the green door closed shut once more.

Yale’s attempt at distraction was to have Nenani name all the herbs and vegetables as he went about his work prepping for the afternoon luncheon. Avery made himself a nuisance of himself by walking near their work table every so often and try to convince her that she was mispronouncing the names.

“It’s not pars-lee, lass. It’s pear-shly.”

“No it’s not,” she said as he walked away. “Pars-lee.”

“Pear-shly!” he yelled back with a cheeky grin.

He would repeat the exercise whenever he walked by and over the course of a half hour, its scope extended beyond just the items that they were working with to any random fruit, herb, or vegetable. Yale was no help and allowed the torment, finding it too amusing.

“Tay-mat-a,” Avery quipped as he walked by with a basket of venison heads to be boiled down, heading out into the courtyard.

“Tomato!” Nenani yelled back at him.

Avery poked his head back inside and answered back, “Poy-ta-ta!”

“POTATO!”

From her vantage point, she could just see Avery’s back as he turned towards the courtyard, but he stopped and turned completely around, hurrying back into the kitchen. He plopped his basket of deer heads onto a counter and peeked back through the archway.

Yale stared at his fellow cook bewildered. “What’s all this?”

“The King’s in the courtyard,” Avery replied in a hushed whisper.

Yale started. “What now?”

“The King!” Avery turned to look at Yale with fervent eyes, a mixture of excitement and confusion. “He’s in the yard right now!”

Yale was immediately on his feet and rushed to the archway, peeking out curiously. Nenani saw every muscle in the black haired giant’s body stiffen.

“Oh, fuck. He is.”

“I wasn’t lying!” Avery protested, still in a hushed whisper.

“Well so much’a what comes outta yer gob is rubbish,” Yale countered. “I had t’make sure.”

“Ah, go fuck yerself, Yale.”

“Not in front of the King, I ain’t!”

Avery looked like he wanted stay mad, but his scowl broke and he snickered. Something outside caught both their attentions and they scrambled away from the doorway and stood stiffly to the side. A Vhasshalan guard, dressed in the same type of boiled leather armor as captain Rheil, walked through. He scanned the kitchen, eyes falling to all persons inside.

“Over here please, gentleman,” he said to Avery and Yale, gesturing with a jerk of his head for them to stand off to the side and away from the door. Both cooks moved with alacrity and stood straight and stiff. He pointed to Herit. “You, over here too.”

Herit looked panicked. “B-but...but I can’t stop spinning the spit sir, it’ll burn!”

“I’m not going to repeat myself, lad.”

Poor Herit was shaking, looking between the guard and the green door and knowing very well what Farris would have to say of he saw Herit walk away from pit duty. Guard's orders or none. With extreme reluctance, Herit stepped away and moved to stand next to Avery and Yale. The guard spotted Nenani on the table and did a double take, blinking. “Ah...uh, y-you’re fine there, human.”

“Oh...okay,” she replied awkwardly. There wasn’t many places she would have been able to go in any case. She couldn’t climb table legs like Jae.

“William, please,” said King Warren as he stepped into the kitchen. The air seemed thinner suddenly as everyone seemed to breath in all at once. He was much as Nenani remembered him, but he was dressed more formally than she had ever seen and his hair had actually been pulled back into a plait. “These men have plenty to do without us interrupting them. Please, continue as you were. I don’t wish to distract you from your duties.”

The King nodded to each of the kitchen staff present and he eyes fell to Nenani and he smiled warmly. “I’m glad to see you’re doing well, little ma’am. I do hope these fine fellows have been taking good care of you.”

All of a sudden, Nenani lost all sense of what she should be doing with her hands and her face felt hot. She nodded.

“A-are you here to see Jae?” She asked, hoping she wasn’t stepping out of line. She suddenly realized she had not curtsied. Did she need to curtsy? How did one curtsy again?

“I am,” he replied with no inflection of irritation. “I’ve come to collect him, actually.”

There was a part of her that was aware that she was being impertinent and she really just should remain silent, but she decided it was worth the risk. “He’s been really sad. But he won’t say it. And he’s really angry too, because he’s hurting. I think...I think he misses how things were before the wedding. Uh, your majesty.”

She bobbed awkwardly in a pathetic attempt at a curtsy. Her heart thrummed alarmingly in her chest, hoping she had not insulted the King or spoke out of turn. But the King did not look angry at all. He looked sad in the same way she had seen Jae look sad.

“Thank you,” he told her, voice gentle and he sounded sincere. “Thank you for taking care of him. He is very dear to me.”

“You should tell him,” she said. “It would mean more if you told him.”

The King nodded thankfully before turning his attention to the green door. As though sensing, his Majesty’s presence, Farris pushed the door open and stepped through. He bent down in a shallow bow to King Warren. No words were spoken as the King walked to the door, giving Farris a nod before entering. Farris closed the door behind the monarch and stepped aside as the guard took post in front. The kitchen master gave the guard a once over and snorted as he moved away. A glance to his left and upon seeing the boar over the fire standing still, jerked his head towards Herit who was decidedly NOT at the hearth.

“GET YER ARSE BACK ON THAT SPIT!”

Herit leaped back to his place and began to spin in earnest, sweating and panicked. “S-sorry!”

Farris loomed over poor Herit, laying into him, but Nenani’s attention was drawn away as she was suddenly swept up and carried out through the archway.

“W-what?” Nenani looked up to see Avery’s face. He grinned down at her.

“Got a job fer ya, Dumplin’,” he told her.

“What job?” she asked, frowning with suspicion. He walked along the side of the wall to a small window set near the ground. It was the window that looked into the spice pantry. He sat her down carefully and stepped back. She looked at him confused. “What?”

“See what the King’s sayin’,” he whispered. “Yer small enough no one’s gonna notice ya.”

“I-I don’t wanna get in trouble!” She replied, matching his hushed whisper.

“Ya wont!” he assured her before slipping back inside the kitchens.

She stared incredulously at the spot where Avery had been and then looked around the courtyard to find it quite empty. Bart and Gjerk were no where to be seen and neither was anyone else. Her ears prickled as she picked up the faint sound of the King’s voice and she turned to the window. It was dirty and obscured by weeds. Careful and trying not to make a sounds, she knelt down near the edge of the window and listened.

“Are you going to speak to me at all?” the King asked.

She wiped some of the dirt from the window and through it, she could see Jae sitting next to the basin, his hair wet, but now dressed in dry clothing. His eyes were red as though he had been crying.

“Jae, I know you’ve been avoiding me these last weeks. But this silence is not helping. I cannot fix if I do not know what is wrong.”

“I just want to be left alone,” Jae replied, his voice raw. “I know your busy.”

“That doesn’t mean I can’t make time for you. Gods above, I rely on you to give me an excuse not to have to speak with Lord Eldherst. I’ve had to sit through seventeen meetings with that old fart. He is convinced that the south moor would be the perfect spot to erect the new armory.”

Jae’s morose face cracked a smile. “Heh. Serves you right.”

The King seemed to take heart in his ward’s small smile. “Please tell me what you want of me.”

Jae’s smile faded and he looked down at his feet, pained. “I don’t need anything from you that you’ve not already given me. I know...I know I’ve been a brat. I haven’t exactly made this marriage thing easy for you and I’m sorry for what happened at the wedding. I thought it would be easier for me to just...not be around while you and the Queen...y’know. Got to know each other?”

The King looked tired and as Jae spoke, he seemed to wilt. “Rosanna does not hate you, Jae, if that what you fear. She wants a chance to apologize to you properly.”

“Why? What does she have to apologize for?”

“For driving you away. From me.” Jae had spent most of the conversation staring at his feet, but upon hearing that, he looked up. “You are very dear to me, Jae. I owe you so much that I could never put into words and will be in debt to you for the rest of my life.”

“You don’t owe me anything Warren,” Jae snapped. “I was gonna die out there if you hadn’t found me. You took me in, clothed and fed me, you even taught me to read! I don’t want to be a burden or to get in the way. I don’t feel like there’s a place for me here anymore. So, it’s just easier this way.”

The King crouched down so as to be eye level with the human. “Why would you ever think you’re in the way?”

“You’re gonna have a kid soon,” Jae replied, scrubbing fiercely at his leaking eyes. “There isn’t a place for me by your side anymore. I...I k-know I’m not...I’m not your son, so...”

Jae’s words broke and he shook with real effort to hold back his emotions. King Warren looked awestruck and horrified. Then without a word, he reached out his arms and wrapped them around Jae, drawing the sobbing youth into him and tucking him into the crook of his shoulder.

“What would make you ever believe that?” the King demanded. “Of course you are my son. From the moment we left those moors, I took on that mantle and I will never betray that vow. You are my son, Jae. And I love you dearly.”

Jae’s eyes were wide and he shook as he began to cry and hiccup. His face disappeared as he buried it into the King’s shoulder.

“Of course you are, you daft boy!” the king answered, though Nenani did not hear the question. She felt her cheeks and there were wet. But she was not sad. She felt happy and relieved and looked down at the King of Vhasshal, an imposing giant with the power of an entire kingdom behind him. And there was Jae. A human. Small and penniless. And she felt so happy for them.

The back of her shirt was abruptly yanked upwards and she was swept up from her spot on the ground and lifted high into the air. A warn calloused hand wrapped around her middle and she found herself the focus of a very unamused Farris. “Just what in seven hells d’ya think yer doin’?”

“Nothing...” she replied meekly.

“Nothing,” he echoed back, clearly seeing through her. “’Nothing’ she says. First yer caught stealin’ from th’ King and now I catch ya spyin’ on ‘im? Yer sure determined to see them dungeons, ain’t ya, Dumplin’?”

“No!” she said, worried now. “I didn’t...I wasn’t! It...it was Avery’s idea!”

Farris covered her with his hand, muffling her cries of protest and shook his head with a long suffering sigh. “Yer hopeless, lass. Right ‘n properly hopeless.”

#Dumpling #fantasy story #gt #g/t #giant #tiny #Vhasshal #KING OF VHASSHAL #warren #jae #farris #nenani #yale #avery #lolly #angst

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danurso · 5 years

Text

Stress

Glynda: and here are the reports about the current grades of the second year students.

Ozpin: thank you glynda.

Glynda: *turns around to walk away*

Ozpin: glynda, could you stay a bit more please? There is something i need.

Glynda: *looking back at ozpin* yes, what is it?

Ozpin: i will also need the report of the grades for the third and the fourth year.

Glynda: weren't port and oobleck the responsibles for these?

Ozpin: yes but oobleck had to leave for an archeologist convention and port had his annual hunting fest to attend.

Glynda: but what about the reports?

Ozpin: that's the point, since they're not available i need you to make the reports for me, i will need all the reports ready in two days.

Glynda: WHAT!? But it already took me almost a week just to make the reports of the second year!!

Ozpin: don't worry, i know you'll find a way out.

Glynda: *gritting her teeth* fine, they'll be ready in two days. *turns around to leave*

Ozpin: and by the way glynda, since port and oobleck are out, i need you to fill their classes.

Glynda: *with a popped vein and a twitching forced smile* as you wish headmaster. *walks into the elevator*

*a few moments later*

Glynda: *leaving the elevator*

Ironwood: *getting in the elevator* good afternoon professor goodwitch.

Glynda: *with a deadly glare* only for you james.

Ironwood: *flinches and gets in the elevator*

Glynda: i have to prepare a report about the grades of more than two hundred students in two days. *massaging her temples* does ozpin even realize how much stress he's making me go through? *sighs in defeat* just to think about all the work i'll have is giving me a headache. hopefully the nurse will have something for it, and to keep me awake for the next two days. *start to walk towards the nurse office.*

???: I'M GONNA BREAK HIS LEGS!!!

Glynda: looks like i'm not the only ones having a bad day. *staring at nora*

Nora: *stomping with a scowl and hammer in hand*

Ren: *getting in her way* nora, stop.

Nora: GET OUTTA MY WAY REN!! ONE THING IS MESS WITH ME, BUT MESSING WITH MY PANCAKES IS ALREADY OFF LIMITS AND CARDIN HAS TO PAY!! I'M GOING TO BREAK HIS LEGS, HIS FACE AND EVERYTHING ELSE ON HIS BODY!!

Glynda: *sighs* as if my day wasn't bad enough, now i'll have to fix whatever destruction she's going to cause.

Ren: you can't do that.

Nora: I CAN AND I WILL!! I WILL SHOW THAT PIECE OF GARBAGE THAT I-

Ren: *pulls her into a kiss*

Nora: *freezes in surprise but starts to melt and drop the hammer to pull him closer.*

Ren: *breaking the kiss* are you calmer now?

Nora: *with a small blush* k-kinda. . .

Ren: why don't we go to a common room? I can make you some pancakes and we can watch the sloth maraton on discovery channel, sounds good?

Nora: *jumps on him and latches on his torso* only if you carry me like a sloth.

Ren: fine, let's go. *walks away with nora latched on his chest*

Glynda: what just. . . *sighs* forget it. After spending so much time with these students i should get used, specially when it comes to miss valkyrie. Still, her mood changed very quickly, it would be nice to get calmer so easily like that, but considering how volatile miss valkyrie is i shouldn't get that surprised by how fast she can change her mood. I doubt something like that wouldn't happen to a more centered person.

Sun: hey blake. . .uhh, you okay?

Blake: *with dark bags under her eyes and a tired expression* im fine.

Sun: please don't tell me you're staying up till late again.

Blake: im not.

Sun: your dead face says otherwise *sighs* i'm only out for a week and when i come back i find my girlfriend in this state, i shouldn't have gone for so long.

Blake: stop talking like you're my father.

Sun: when you're acting like a stubborn kid, i have to take the dad role to help you right?

Blake: shut up, i don't need help.

Sun: well, you look like you need it.

Blake: but i don't, get out of my way.

Sun: no.

Blake: get out!

Sun: *with crossed arms* nope.

Blake: I SAID GET OUT!!!

Sun: sorry, i don't want to.

Blake: *tries to push sun but gets trapped in a hug* LET GO!!

Sun: not until you're feeling better, you need help.

Blake: I DIDN'T ASKED FOR YOUR HELP!!!

Sun: but that's why i'm here, to help you even if you don't want to.

Blake: i hate you!

Sun: and i love you *stroking her hair* and because i love you i can't let you go.

Blake: . . .i told you to shut up.

Sun: okay.

Blake: *getting sleepy* why did i. . .even agreed to...date you?

Sun: i think i annoyed you until you agreed.

Blake: right. . .im so. . .stupid. *hugging him back* and you. . .are so. . .warm.

Sun: why don't you take a nap and finish your business later?

Blake: nnnn. . . *falls asleep*

Sun: *picking her up* hehe, sweet dreams blakey. *walks away*

Glynda: i take back what i said. . . *sigh* i can't understand these teenagers, they can deal with stress like its nothing. . .i wonder how they do that.

Ruby: it's easy when you have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

Glynda: of course, it's a lot easier when you have a- *stops and looks at ruby who is standing by her side*

Ruby: *waving* hi.

Glynda: miss rose, where did you came from?

Ruby: from my room professor, i was following nora when ren got her *sheepishly* and then i heard you talking and joined.

Glynda: right, and what do you mean with "having a boyfriend makes it easier"

Ruby: not just a boyfriend, a girlfriend also works. It's just that when you're with someone you really like, the world isn't as stressing as it usually is.

Glynda: and how are you so certain of that statement?

Ruby: well, i tested it first hand, whenever im angry or weiss is stressed, we just hug for a bit, cuddle sometimes and we're good to go.

Glynda: oh yes, i forgot that you and miss schnee were in a relationship. But i didn't knew that your presence could tame her when she's stressed, miss schnee always seemed like someone hard to control when angry.

Ruby: and she is, but whenever she's stressed she just comes to me and we hug for some time, after that she gets back to her usual mood.

Glynda: well, maybe that can work for you two, but not every couple is like you.

Ruby: i think they are, just take a look. *walks up to the window*

Glynda: *follows and looks down on the window*

Velvet: *sitting on the grass*

Coco: *pacing back and forth* i can't freaking believe in those guys! Do you know how long it took for me to get those tickets!?

Velvet: *sheepishly* you kinda told me already.

Coco: i told yatsu to keep it and he had the great idea to give them to a blind person store somewhere! I can't believe we're going to lose the movie!

Velvet: i-its okay, we can go watch it another day.

Coco: *groans and lays with her head on velvet's lap* but i really wanted to see "huntsmans: endgame" today.

Velvet: *stroking her hair* we can see it tomorrow, we just need to be carefull with the spoilers.

Coco: *sigh* you're right. . .*with a small smile* well, at least i get to spend the a free day with my girlfriend.

Velvet: *with a light blush* same.

Ruby: see? she calmed her.

Glynda: yes she did, but that's probably just because they have a long running relationship, it's more easy to deal with people's when you know them better and have a good relationship with them, right?

Ruby: well, not always, there are some couples that are always fighting but can still calm eachother down. . .here, just look *pulls them to the corner of the corridor*

Mercury: is it me or you're getting slower?

Emerald: i swear to god, one day i'll sew your mouth shut.

Mercury: *grins* what? emmy is mad cause i won three out of five rounds?

Emerald: *with crossed arms* you got lucky on the last round.

Mercury: yeah, yeah *rubbing his eyes* keep crying baby girl.

Emerald: *with a scowl* i'll show you the baby girl! *pounces at him*

Mercury: *grabs both of her hands, spins her and presses her back against the wall* welp, would you look at that.

Emerald: ugh, you just got lucky again you bas-

Mercury: *kisses her*

Emerald: *pushes him away with a dark blush* w-what the hell are you doing!?

Mercury: i'm kissing you, obviously. *kisses her again*

Emerald: *kisses him shortly before pushing him away* s-stop it.

Mercury: hmm. . .don't want to. *kisses her once more*

Emerald: *tries to push him away but melts on the kiss*

Mercury: now that you look a bit more relaxed, why don't we get back to our dorm so i can take care of these tense shoulders while you call me an asshole.

Emerald: *still blushing* you're an asshole.

Mercury: yeah, i know *throws her over his shoulder and walks away*

Ruby: see? These two are always fighting but they can still help each other to keep their cool.

Glynda: miss rose, while i understand what you are trying to show me, you don't understand the stress i am going through, maybe that tactic can work on teenager's stress, but when it comes to the stress of adults, i doubt it can wor-

???: *bumps past between winter and glynda*

Glynda: *narrow her eyes at the strangely pale boy with black hair and white clothes* excuse me young man, don't you-

???: *glaring at them with his sharp green iris*

Glynda/Ruby: *freezes being overwhelmed by his terrifying aura*

???: ulquiiii!!! *jumps on the boy* good morning ulquiorra.

Ulquiorra: *instantly calms down and looks at the orange haired girl* only for you woman.

Orihime: *pouts* i already told you to call me orihime.

Ulquiorra: and i refused to.

Orihime: what's wrong? You look stressed.

Ulquiorra: nonsense.

Orihime: come on! i'm your girlfriend, you can tell me.

Ulquiorra: *sighs* you are an annoying woman, are you aware of that?

Orihime: *smiles sheepishly*

Ulquiorra: you shouldn't worry about me woman, this "stress" is just an natural response of being on the same team as that shinigami.

Orihime: so it's because of ichigo that you're like that?

Ulquiorra: i can't stand to that man's existence, and i am well aware that he can't stand to mine's either.

Orihime: it's not like that, ichigo just has some. . .trust issues, since your dad betrayed the council and tried to kill him countless times.

Ulquiorra: and made me kidnap you.

Orihime: y-yeah, but thanks to that we got to know each other right?

Ulquiorra: i guess you are correct.

Orihime: just give him some more time to adapt to the situation. even if i can't, i know that rukia will eventually convince him to give you a chance, and on that time you can be nicer with him too.

Ulquiorra: . . .

Orihime: *with a puppy look* pleeeease.

Ulquiorra: *sighs* farewell woman, i will try to be more. . . "friendly" towards the shinigami.

Orihime: yay!! *leaps and kisses him* now what about we get some lunch?

Ulquiorra: *with an practically imperceptible smile* as long as i cook, i will agree. *starts to walk away*

Orihime: *pouts and jumps on his back* my food isn't that bad!

Ulquiorra: *giving her a piggyback ride* it is bad enough to scare me, and i am not supposed to feel any emotion, much less fear.

Orihime: fine, fine, you cook.

Ulquiorra: *walks away with orihime on his back*

Ruby: well. . .that was a thing.

Glynda: Agreed.

Ruby: i've never seen that guy before but his problems didn't sounded much like the ones from normal teenagers.

Glynda: they absolutelly didn't.

Ruby: and yet his girlfriend calmed him down. See what i mean now?

Glynda: i. . .think i do miss rose, but still, where am i supposed to find a good man to get in a relationship with?

Ruby: there's a lot of nice guys around beacon, like-

Glynda: *raises eyebrow* guys who aren't just horny teenagers after a one night stand with a "hot teacher"?

Ruby: well. . .that does makes things a bit more complicated, but i bet you can still find someone nice like. . .

Jaune: *walking by* hey ruby, can i borrow your notebook for a bit? I forgot to-

Ruby: jaune! *pulls him closer* see this guy, he's very nice and caring, he was raised in a house with eight womans so he knows how to treat and respect them, he also knows how to cook, sew, dance and much more, Also his massages are really good, and they're great to deal with the daily stress. He's the perfect boyfriend for you!

Jaune: *blushing* w-what? Ruby, w-what's going on?

Glynda: hmm. . .farewell, i will believe in what you're telling me miss rose, maybe having a "boyfriend" can help me to deal with my stress. Mister arc, from now on you are my boyfriend.

Jaune: *deep red* i-im what!?

Glynda: *narrow eyes at him* do you have any problems with me being your girlfriend?

Jaune: *sweating bullets* n-no, not at all professor goodwitch.

Glynda: good.

*two days later*

Glynda: *laying on jaune's chest* i must admit, these last two days have been wonderful to me mister ar- i mean, jaune.

Jaune: *playing with her hair* same, i mean, it was kinda awkward how fast things went but, i'm happy nonetheless.

Glynda: me too.

*knock-knock*

Glynda: i'll get the door. *gets up and opens the door*

Ozpin: good afternoon glynda.

Glynda: good afternoon professor. Can i help you?

Ozpin: i'm here for the grade reports of the third and fourth year.

Glynda: the grade report. . . *pales. internally* oh god, having to deal with all those classes and doing couple stuff with jaune made me forget about the reports, what do i do now?

Ozpin: is there anything wrong?

Glynda: n-no, no, nothing is wrong, i-its just that. . .that. . .

Jaune: here professor ozpin. *hands him a huge pile of papers* Professor goodwitch here was so overloaded having to teach three classes at the same time that she forgot in one of the classrooms.

Ozpin: thank you very much mister arc. *checks the papers* just as organised as ever, thank you very much professor goodwitch.

Glynda: err. . .you're welcome. . .professor.

Jaune: just that? All she gets is a thank you?

Ozpin: what do you mean mister arc?

Jaune: what do i mean? Do you know how hard it was to teach three classes at the same time while making reports about two hundred different students?

Ozpin: well. . .

Jaune: all that plus her usual huge load of paperwork?

Ozpin: i. . .im afraid i don't know.

Jaune: of course you don't! you just sit back on you chair drinking coffee all day while she has to deal with not only her work but yours as well, what kind of headmaster are you!?

Glynda: *speechless*

Ozpin: . . .

Jaune: so let's make a deal okay, tell port and oobleck to do their jobs and start doing your job of headmaster as well, glynda here will take a few weeks off after these last excruciating days, and you'll cover her on that while, sounds good right?

Ozpin: . . .mister arc, i'm afraid that-

Jaune: if you don't agree on these terms i'll have to call my mother, y'know my mother right? Council member, ex-student of beacon irina arc?

Ozpin: i-irina. . . *gulps and pales* arc?

Jaune: so, are we good?

Ozpin: *having vietnam war style flashbacks* y-yes, i believe we are. . .now if you excuse me, there are some things i have to take care of. *shakily walks away*

Jaune: thought so. *closes door*

Glynda: *with her jaw on the ground*

Jaune: *grinning victoriously* what?

Glynda: h-how?

Jaune: a perk of living under the same roof as eight womens is that you learn how to blackmail and scare someone, specially if one of those womans is my mom. And i know how hard you work to keep this school running, you deserve some time off.

Glynda: a-and how did you managed to make the reports? It took me a week to make the report for just the second year.

Jaune: i didn't, my sister's wife works for atlas and she's really good with computers, she managed to make a program that evaluate all the files of the students and automatically makes an report, it basically makes your work for you way faster than you could possibly make.

Glynda: *speechless*

Jaune: i already installed the program on your computer, i hope you don't mind, it's just that- *gets pulled into a heated kiss*

Glynda: *dragging the kiss for as long as sue can before breaking it* jaune arc, where have you been all my life?

Jaune: *blushing* i-i. . .well, uhh. . .

Glynda: you know, as a teacher, i should always take care of my students, but now you were the who took care of me. . . *whispering on his ear* i guess that means i need to return the favor right? *pushes him against the bed*

Jaune: *blushing even more* y-you don't need to-

Glynda: ohh but i want to~ *straddling his waist* so behave, unless you want to get punished *cracks her riding crop*

Jaune: *gulps*

Glynda: that's better.

*jaune then had a long anatomy class, one he would probably never forget*

#rwby #jaune arc #glynda goodwitch #jaune x glynda #jaune x goodwitch #spellsword #ruby rose #ozpin

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sirpibbles-blog · 5 years

Text

A Little Surprise Habit/Reader Fic

A long overdue request for Habit and a pregnant reader. Sorry it’s an afab reader because science hasn’t progressed far enough yet. Uh kinda took the idea and ran with it so sorry if it’s not what you all had in mind. Finished this after consuming 1/3 cup of raw coffee grounds because I thought it would help me focus.(I just got really sick because i’m STUPID). So If there are a ton of errors you know why. k im gonna go throw up now. Enjoy!

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"I'm pregnant."

Nothing could have prepared him for this. Nothing. Habit's body was stiff and unmoving, save for his eyes, brimming with emotion. There was too much to process. Too much to unpack within your simple words. A surge of a hundred different emotions coursed through his head in a matter of seconds. Is this real? A joke? Was he dreaming?

The two of you had merely been savoring the early morning in each other's arms. There was a calming silence, interlaced with the sprinkling of pillow talk here and there. A regular morning you shared together. Not once in a hundred years would Boris ever guess what you revealed to him. It was a nearly impossible task to place his feelings. But there was nothing disdainful in his heart, no, far from it. He was left with strong traces of what he guessed were shock, endearment, and anxiety. As fast as the love bubbled up in his chest, a foreboding shroud of doubt beat it down. He was happy, truly, overwhelmingly euphoric. And yet, Boris found himself to be completely and utterly terrified. There was going to be a baby. His baby.

The dentist's contemplation was cut short by your shaky voice. “Are you okay..?" Boris tilted his head down to meet your eyes. Your expression was etched with fear and wavering uncertainty. It was clear that this wasn't the reaction you had anticipated from your lover. In truth, you didn't know what you expected. But now, your heart was screaming for something. Something good, any kind of indication that he was happy...Any sign that you did the right thing.

"We ar Going to have A baby.." Your lover's voice came out in a whisper. There were too many things going through his mind at once. Too much he wanted to tell you, but lacked the words to say. Boris was stuck, fumbling through simple phrases. "..How long..?" The dryness in his throat was subsiding and Boris could feel his limbs slowly regain their strength. "About six weeks." Your voice grew steadily more confident. Boris was talking now, it was a good sign. He wasn't upset, you knew that much. But the doctor's face still showed no indication of anything but numb shock. “..We ar going To have a Baby..” Boris repeated as if convincing himself this was real. The words felt foreign on his tongue, but not unwelcome.

Your anxiety and anticipation began to dwell on the man. Boris knew he had to say something more. Something to ease your worried mind. He took a moment to compose a false bravado. “(Y/n), I love You.. I love this. And we’ve Been to-gether Long enuff for me to know, you ar Never rong..But-” Boris paused with a shaky breath. “-is this what you really want?” Despite the man’s feeble attempts to stay together, his facade was crumbling before your eyes. “Do you reelly Want to rayse a Child with this.. pathetic, Poor excuse of a man… with me?” The last words came out in a hoarse whisper.

There was a pause of silence. The air was heavy now, almost suffocating the doctor to death. It was your turn to say something, anything. Boris could feel his mind cry out for you to reject him. Realize your mistakes and run while you can. Find someone new and start a family, a real family. The seconds of silence had seemed like an eternity before you spoke up. “Doctor Boris Habit, why would you ever think for a second that I wouldn’t want to start a family with you? I know we haven’t been together long, but I can’t imagine myself ever loving another man.” Your hand moved to trace his cheek, gently tilting his gaze to meet your eyes. “Please.. Stay with me.” You both didn’t bother to stop yourselves from the oncoming tears threatening to spill over. “(Y/n), My flower, I Pro-mise, no matter what, That I will make you Smile.” Boris clasped his hands around yours, practically consuming them with his size. “And this baby.. Our baby, I will do every-thing in My power to make Them happy too.” With the last of his words, Boris took your lips against his own, passionate, yet gentle.

It didn't take long before Boris found himself warming up to the idea of starting a family. The ever-present fear and anxieties slowly dulled as the months progressed.

Even though Boris seems confident most days, his panic seemingly came back in waves. It become increasingly easier for Boris to admit how he feels. He tells you of his many insecurities and doubts in a long, well-deserved cuddle session. Of course, you let him know how confident you are in his potential to be an amazing father. And your trust in the man greatly increases his own self-confidence every time.

It doesn't surprise you at all when Boris starts preparing for the baby with immense enthusiasm and care. The first month in, countless educational books and pamphlets are strewn about his study. Boris wants to be able to be there for you completely, so he puts every free hour he has into reading. Preparing for the best, and worst.

The designated nursery will be completely transformed. You both spend a weekend moving boxes out of the previous storage room. By the time you’re done, the empty room is ready for a makeover. The barren, white walls call to your lover, beckoning his inner artist. It doesn’t come as a surprise at all when after a long day of work, you come home to find Boris plastered with paint from head to toe. The baby’s room becomes his canvas for the next few weeks. And in your spare time, you join in painting with the doctor as well. There’s no better pass-time than painting alongside your dearest dentist. A vibrant cacophony of flora align the walls. Flowers of various types and sizes pepper the nursery, their pastel hues reflecting in the morning light. It’s the most ambitious and passionate masterpiece Boris has had the pleasure of creating, with you by his side.

In your later months, mobility becomes strenuous. The once effortless, domestic chores now seemed more demanding than ever. The moment Boris picks up on your impaired movement, you can say goodbye to any and all responsibilities.

Habit’s new favorite method of relieving stress after a long day is to rest his head on your lap. He loves just basking in your warmth and love as you run your hands through his mess of hair. You’ll feel his large hands and face press gently against your stomach. Boris mostly spends this time in quiet admiration, although sometimes you swear you can hear him murmur affectionate nothings to your belly. It’s not uncommon for the two of you to fall asleep like this, and it isn’t unwelcome either.

Every night since your reveal, Boris spends nights clinging to your body far more desperately than before, as if you’d disappear the moment he’d let go. Boris will fight against his own exhaustion until you fall asleep first. He needs to know you’re at peace before letting himself rest. This pregnancy has made him far more paranoid, yet excited. When Boris thinks you’ve fallen asleep, you can always hear him whispering, talking to your baby. The words are always short, but they melt your heart every time. The most common conversations you’ll hear are of his hopes and fears, phrases such as, “I promise you’ll never frown” and “Please don’t be disappointed in your father”.

The child’s gender truly doesn’t matter to Boris. After reading all the possible complications, everything that can go wrong, he just wants them to be healthy. Okay, so maybe he’s a little paranoid. Every scheduled trip to the hospital results in a million questions being asked. And even though his questions are answered, and nothing seems out of place, Boris can’t help but feel uneasy. He can’t be sure until the waiting is over. The nine, agonizing months of waiting.

At the glorious, painful end of the pregnancy, He’s by your side. Hell, in labor, Boris is almost more of a panicked wreck than you are. He can’t help it, being so utterly terrified and excited at the same time. It’s a grueling few hours. Sounds of pain, fear, and crying fill the room. It finally all comes to an end when the shrill cry from a tiny set of lungs breaks the tension.

It’s nothing but crying after that. From you, from the baby, and especially from Boris. Finally, after nine months of stress and fear, the two of you are at peace. One look at this child’s tiny, fragile body and every fear Boris once had towards being able to take care of his new family is completely shattered. He feels an overwhelming urge to protect this new life, this life you’ve both created. For once since your reveal to him, Boris truly feels he is enough to be with you, with his family.

#Dr.Habit #boris habit #x reader #smile for me #writing

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transenbyhollis · 6 years

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idk if my relationship with the ex roommate was abusive or not but im just gonna put down a bunch of stuff here. this is probably gonna be long so putting it under a readmore

ok so im beginning to realize that this all probably sounds pretty bad for him but KEEP IN MIND that his anger is a response to abuse and breakdowns are sometimes used to manipulate people. also every story has two sides and i dont know what he would say about all this. also for the first couple years or so he was really nice most of the time. super supportive. feel free to skim through this if you wanna know whats gonna on but dont want to read the entire lengthy tale.

so it started nearly five years ago. i met him my first year of college, we were in the same hall. i thought he was really cool. we didnt talk much that first year but we were friends i guess.

second year a lot of shit happened during the first term. the important thing is that it cemented our friendship. after that term we were rock solid. we spent all of our time together.

during the next term he briefly dated a girl we were friends with. idk if it was even dating really. the whole thing was a trainwreck. at one point i felt like i was losing him and i had a breakdown. it was then that he said he never wanted to make anyone more important than me. things went bad between them and then i noticed something was wrong. i wont go into everything that happened, but suffice to say he kept getting angry for reasons i still dont understand, she was frustrated and very stressed, and i was terrified and miserable.

after this, we were still pretty close. it was around this time that he told me we were in a queerplatonic relationship. now i was genuinely considering spending the rest of my life with this guy.

sometime around the same time the first red flag went up. he told me that he had gone through my phone, found my tumblr among other things, and read several months worth of my personal thoughts. i was kind of in shock when i heard this, so i didnt say much about it. this was also when he told me he had been sexually abused.

not too long after this is when a relationship began to grow between him and another friend of ours. i started to feel a distance growing between us, and this is when he really started to show his angry side. sometimes he would get angry and i would break down crying. this became a regular occurance.

there were some instances of him insistently trying to get me to come out to people. this was mostly in reference to a trans group that was beginning to form at this time. i did eventually give in, although at least once i had a breakdown and left crying because he got upset about it. also i sometimes i didnt feel good about leaving because once he made a comment about how i always run away when im upset so i basically begged for permission to leave.

there was also something that happened a couple times where he and his partner decided that i wasnt allowed to be alone and i physically attacked them and screamed at them before they would let me be alone in the bathroom for a few minutes. the second time this happened i was so angry i smashed a bunch of my belongings and then afterwards i apologized frantically and said some bs about being upset for religion related reasons.

after this, we had a conversation where i said i needed to be alone sometimes, and if they literally said i was not allowed to be alone i wouldnt ask, i would kick and scream until they agreed to let me be alone. he got upset because i made an analogy about a cliff and kept getting mad about that. i insisted that if they refused to let me be alone i would make them hate me.

there was a argument i had with him that ended with him essentially saying our friendship was over. i did not realize he was being sarcastic here. i went to the bathroom to cry. i asked his partner to come and told them that i was feeling very suicidal. they calmed me down a little and went to go arrange for all three of us to have a talk. i took several melatonin and tried to take a nap in the meantime, although that didnt work. later we met at the library. we had an argument about them being controlling and some other things. i remember he started to throw a chair. i broke down and went to the bathroom where i cried a lot. i texted him and apologized for wrecking our friendship. he said that he was the broken one and i said i thought we both were.

it was around this time i started medication. i told the doctor i was having problems with mood swings and so they put me on abilify.

at the end of this school year i moved in with them. towards the beginning there were some arguments about them being controlling and needing to know where i was all the time. we made a compromise where i would have some kind of board or something that i would uodate to say if i was feeling good, not so good, or bad. that never ended up being implemented tho. at some point the roommate who didnt totally suck told me they didnt want me to tell them when i felt like self harming and if i did they would call the police.

the angry outbursts and my terrified breakdowns continued. it escalated to the point where sometimes he was straight up screaming his head off at me for no discernible reason. sometimes i would break down if he so much as snapped at someone.

there was an incodent where i started crying when he was angry, and he told me essentially he didnt see why i would break down so easily and he was jealous of me for having such a good childhood. i told him that i was still suicidal and he started yelling at the other roommate to call the police. i kept asking why he was doing this and what he was trying to accomplish and he didnt respond. the police came, we talked a little, i said i would take a walk and calm down, and they left. i went to my room and had a panic attack. my roommates wanted to call the police again and i begged them not to. at some point one of them said something about me having a sheltered childhood.

a few weeks later we were grocery shopping and he got mad at me for not helping put the groceries in the car. at this point i decided to stop being friends with them because i couldnt handle it. later when we were at home someone asked me if anything was wrong or something like that and i said i decided earlier that i couldnt be friends with them. they told me to calm down and we talked about it. they asked me if there was anything else i wanted to tell them and i said there was something they had said that had made me uncomfortable some time ago. the rest of this was all dragged out of me, slowly and painstakingly. i told them that i didnt like when they said a sheltered childhood. they confirmed that sheltered basically said i hadnt had any problems. they asked me what problems id had and i said i felt that my relationship with my sister and with religion was somewhat abusive. they then dissected all the problems id had in my life to see if any of them were really that bad.

there were also a couple of other incidents, like that time he screamed his head off at me, smashed a bowl, and then apologized to his partner while i cleaned up the bowl. and the time he screamed at me for rescheduling an appointment. a lot of other shit happened but im not gonna talk about all of it.

a few weeks before i moved out, i told his partner that basically i couldnt handle his temper and screw him.

i am now going to mention again that breakdowns cam be manipulative, and his anger im fairly certain was a response to abuse, and for the first couple years at least he was very nice and supportive most of the time.

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itsinmydunah · 6 years

Text

Battle Sign

A/N: This fic is a frankenfic. I used it as a way to help me study my neuro material, and also turned it into an angsty h/c fic. I hope you guys enjoy it. Please let me know if this style (medical stuff, h/c, etc) is good. I may use this “study” method again if people like it :)

Word Count: 3,965

Warnings: medical stuff - if you can’t handle graphic descriptions of head wounds, I would stay away from this fic

There is an icy urgency in his veins that has him rushing to the quinjet. He is met with a horror worse than the destroyed city at his back, worse than the civilians screaming in the streets. He freezes in step, clenches his fists, and blinks hard as if to erase the image, as if it may just be a bad dream that he can will away.

He opens his eyes again.

Wanda is laid on a gurney, neck in a cervical collar, hair and face covered in blood.

“Where’s Vizh? Wherizhe?” Her words are slurred, both pupils dilated huge and virtually non-responsive to light. “I wan ‘im.” Her hands keep reaching out blindly, grasping at air. When they come in contact with nothing, she starts panicking, breathing getting fast and hard.

“Hey, hey, Wanda, you need to calm down.” Clint is by her head, smoothing her hair to one side so Bruce can look at her head wound. He’s careful not to touch the cervical collar that has been fixed around her neck.

“I am here,” Vision chokes out, walking through the quinjet to stand right where Wanda is strapped down to the gurney. He looks down at her, clothes torn and covered in rubble and blood, and feels sick in a way he never has before.

“We need to leave now, Steve. Her head looks bad, and I don’t have the stuff to fix this here,” Bruce calls out loudly over his com while digging frantically through a cabinet then moving on to another.

“What happened to her?” Vision takes both of her hands in his, leaning down to assess the visible damage. He winces at the bloody, clotted mess within her hair, the skin that has been torn away from her skull. As soon as Clint sees Vision settled by Wanda, he stands and heads to begin to call in the others.

“A building was collapsing. She managed to shield most of it until the very end. It was terrifying. I’ve never seen her shield go down like that. A huge chunk of concrete got her right at the top of the head. I have no idea of the full extent of the damage. What I can tell so far with what we have onboard is that she’s got a serious brain injury. Not sure it the skull has cracked. We need to get moving.” Bruce flits about, attaching wires to Wanda and looking intensely at the tablet in his hands.

“Wanda, can you tell me what 2+2 is?” Bruce asks gently, his tone a complete paradox to the harsh tapping gestures he’s utilizing with his tablet.

“mmmm, na,” Wanda tries to turn her head to see Vision, but he immediately moves into her line of sight so she doesn’t struggle.

“Wanda, can I get you to squeeze Vision’s hands?” Vision looks to Bruce, shaking his head ‘no’. “What about tell me where you are?” Wanda’s lower lip just quivers, and she starts crying. Vision cups her face gently but desperately, eyes begging Bruce to fix this. “I need you to get her to stop crying somehow. It’s only going to bring up her intercranial pressure. We can’t have that now.” The synthoid nods, swiping her tears away with his thumbs.

“Wanda, I am here,” he begins, voice soft as a feather, “darling, you are going to be fine.” Tears still streak down her, her eyes fixed on his. The hugeness of her pupils scares him, the way he can tell she’s locked in her own head and in pain. “Should she be given something?” Vision feels desperate in a way he never has before.

“In a hospital she’d get an anti-epileptic and maybe some propofol for sedation. I don’t have anything here that I feel confident enough using on an injury that I don’t know the full extent of.” Bruce rips at his own hair. He exhales heavily and reaches for some tubing. “I’m going to start you on some oxygen, okay, Wanda? Just a nasal cannula to start.” Bruce tucked the tubing behind her ears and loosed it under her chin. “Now I’m just gonna start irrigating this wound. Hopefully this can keep you from getting an infection, okay? Vision is right here with you.” The doctor sets about putting on gloves, yanking a table to the head of the gurney, and using a large syringe with a splash guard and sterile water to clean away the debris and blood packed into Wanda’s skull.

Tony, Steve, and Nat trudge in. Everyone’s eyes immediately go to Wanda, to the bright red water and blood dripping from her head wound onto the floor, to the way Vision is as tense as they’ve ever seen him, his hands anxiously trying to soothe Wanda in any way he can.

“We need to leave NOW,” Clint barks from the pilot seat, ready for takeoff. Everyone immediately throws down their gear and offers help to Bruce in any way they can. He waves them off. Too many people keeps him from working effectively. Vision appreciates Bruce’s single-minded focus on Wanda’s care at the moment.

“Head to Johns Hopkins. I have a friend in their surgical trauma center we may need. Also call Helen Cho. We can use the new mini-Cradle she’s been developing, hopefully.” Bruce calls out to Clint, tugging at avulsed part of her skin to irrigate beneath it.

“Aye,” the man responds, and the quinjet lifts off.

Wanda is still crying, snuffling softly, her hands twitching at her sides. “Vizh....whr you?”

“Here, darling, here.” Her bloodshot eyes open to meet his. “Yes, right in front of you. Can you see me?” She hums, and he takes it as a yes. “You are doing brilliantly. Do you hurt?”

“M’head.”

“Okay, alright. We are working on getting you somewhere they can help. I am right here, not going anywhere. I promise.” Wanda’s eyes flutter shut, and Vision presses fraught kisses to her face. “I love you, I love you,” he feels almost frantic.

Wanda groans in response. Her mind reaches greedily out to his, and all he suddenly feels everything. Her pain, her terror, her anxiety, her heightened pulse, the noisy thrum of her thoughts trying to form but ending abruptly because her brain can’t seem to finish them. Vision can feel her internal screaming rattling him to his core. Suddenly there is flash of light, darkness, and a sharp ache behind his eyes. He is thrown from her mind just in time to see her begin seizing.

“Roll her to her side. I’m timing it,” Bruce urges him, quickly undoing the gurney straps, moving to ensure that her head is safe from knocking into anything. Vision does as he is told, but feels adrift, like he is floating above his own body. This cannot be real. This is.... this is like something out of a nightmare. Wanda has struggled enough, she does not deserve this. This should not be allowed to happen to her.

He watches as her body shakes, her eyes roll back, and her lips move as if to form words. “Wanda,” he says as calmly as he can, “you’re going to be fine. Bruce and I are here. You are safe.” He doesn’t reach out to her mind, doesn’t want to invade when she is already being betrayed and torn apart by her own body. Vision listens with one ear as Bruce patches through to his doctor friend at Hopkin’s, relays information and inquires as to what to do. The rest of his mind is focused on the stuttering, gasping breathes Wanda takes, of the choked noises she makes as she suddenly vomits. Bruce is quickly suctioning her mouth with a long tube, urging Vision to hold her head to the side. There are tears streaming down her face, her eyes wide open and scarily aware. “Darling, I have you.” He feels useless, so damnably unable to help the person he loves more than anything. He hates himself a bit in this moment.

Wanda finally stops seizing. She falls into unconsciousness, and Bruce sighs heavily.

“I’ll keep monitoring, but there’s not much else I can do. I sent ahead Wanda’s medical file to my friend at Hopkins.” Vision, from his place in front of Wanda, shoots Bruce a skeptical look. Bruce responds calmly, “She can be trusted, I promise. Her daughter is altered, she’s making safety of ‘different people’ her mission. Wanda’s information is safe with her.” Vision reluctantly hums an agreement, his eyes fixed on Wanda’s unmoving face. It is so similar to when she is peacefully sleeping. Yet he can feel her turmoil thrumming just beneath her skin.

“Do you want to clean her up a bit?” Bruce has a sterile cloth dampened and a basin as well as some minty mouth swabs. Vision takes them silently, gratefully. He is thankful to have some way to help Wanda, even something as small as this.

Vision gently wipes her face, starting at her forehead, brushing her hair away from her face. He has to be careful not to tug on the strands that are near her open head wound. He methodically removes the blood that has seeped to her fair skin. He dips the cloth, stains the water bright red, and cleans vomit from around her mouth and neck. Her clothes are a lost cause, but he doesn’t want to jostle her more than necessary to replace them. He is sure the hospital will take care of that. He gently coaxes her lips open with a minty swab, cleans her tongue and cheeks of emesis. Vision casts a look at her hair, wishing that he could tidy it for her. Wanda hates when it becomes tangled. She takes great comfort in having him smooth it out for her, even allowing him to braid it on occasion.

Bruce hands him a heated blanket. “She needs to be kept at an even temperature at all costs.” Vision tucks it around her, wishing desperately that he could move in next to her, could hold her close and share his warmth with her. Keep her safe.

As soon as they land on the heli-pad at Johns Hopkins, Bruce has Vision help him guide the gurney off the quinjet. Once they exit, doctors and nurses descend upon her, rushing her to a surgical bay. Bruce goes with them, barking out information about her blood pressure, her temperature, her Glasgow Coma score, her seizure time, her metabolic panels, her blood type, her weight, her allergies, her current medications, her birthday, her height, her code status, her her her her her her her her her——

Vision’s ears start buzzing, his knees feel weak beneath his body, he feels simultaneously on fire and frigid. He doesn’t perspire, but he suddenly feels like he has broken out in a cold sweat.

“Whoa, whoa, big guy, don’t do that.” Tony is on his right, holding him up, and Clint on his left. They huff under his weight and drag him to the wall in the hallway where he slides down to sit. Tony perches in front of him, “Bruce has some of the best people on it. And I called in the leading neurosurgeon in the country - a Doctor Strange - to consult. She’s gonna be fine.” Vision hears him, processes what he has said, but he can’t seem to snap out of this daze. His tongue feels thick. He hears Clint ask Tony is androids can go into shock. He hears Sam, Natasha, and Rhodes talking to Bruce. He hears their hushed concerns, feels their gazes flit to him and then to the surgical bay. He hears the overhead system call out a Code Blue, hears the shriek of monitors from the room where Wanda is. Hears the stampede of Dansko-clad feet run by shouting to one another.

He feels Clint, Steve, and Tony try to hold him back from rushing to Wanda’s side. He shakes them off easily, looking into the surgical bay from the large glass viewing area outside. Someone is doing chest compressions on her, another is shoving a tube down her throat, another is administering medications through her IV. Vision watches in horror. He has all the knowledge of the Mind Stone and the internet, the past memories as J.A.R.V.I.S when Tony binged Grey’s Anatomy. He has seen these interventions before in abstract, depersonalized ways before. But this is vastly different. Vision sees the heart monitor’s rapid, erratic activity, hears someone yell out about ventricular fibrillation and shockable rhythms. Watches as the surgeon at the head of the table begins doing surgery, barely seeming to notice the flurry of everyone around him.

That heart stopping is Wanda’s, is the heart she chose to share with him. That body being pumped full of epinephrine is a body he holds every night. That brain being operated on is marvelous and loving. That broken skull being picked at is one that he has cradled and kissed.

“Vision, you shouldn’t be watching this.” Steve is by his side, a steady presence. For a moment Vision hates him for his unfaltering nature. How is this not tearing him apart? How dare he try to tell Vision to leave Wanda? He turns to glare at the soldier, turns to yell, but takes in the sight of the others. Bruce is covered in blood and unidentifiable secretions, his hands shaking. Natasha is hovering near him, eyes wide and blank. Sam is clasping Clint’s shoulder. Clint, who is openly crying. Tony is pacing jerkily, muttering to himself. Rhodes is staring out a massive window, back to the surgical bay, head bowed as if praying.

Vision looks back to Steve. Everyone is falling apart. Clearly Steve has made himself be the one who carries everyone else, the only one who isn’t spiraling. Suddenly he can’t help himself. He steps forward and hugs Steve. The man immediately grips onto him tightly. Everyone else slowly joins - Natasha holding tight to Vision’s side, Clint at his other side, Sam and Rhodes clasping his shoulders, Tony and Bruce at his back. All of them are shuddering out breathes, some sniffling, all supporting each other.

“She’s got so much fight in her. She’s not gonna give up. She loves you too much for that.” Clint looks at him with red-rimmed eyes. Vision nods. He knows how willful Wanda is. He’s familiar with her stubbornness, her unwillingness to leave those she loves behind. He hopes that will be enough to keep her with him.

They’re all piled against the wall propping each other up. Vision is at their center. Tony is cradling his third cup of coffee. Clint is half asleep against Natasha. Bruce is tucked into Vision’s side with Sam and Rhodes next to him.

The surgeon, Dr. Strange, comes out of the double doors with a surgical mask pushed beneath his chin. He is thin, bearded, with keen eyes. His scrubs are covered in blood and damp with sterile water. “Miss Maximoff is currently stable. She went into ventricular fibrillation for approximately five minutes, in which we shocked her twice to get her back in rhythm. I did a craniotomy to relieve pressure and removed skull fragments from her depressed fracture. I know you have Dr. Cho coming with a miniature Cradle Prototype. Hopefully that helps, because without it Miss Maximoff would have months, if not years of recovery ahead of her.”

That statement has Vision reeling. He knows that the human brain is complex, that it requires time and rest. But years? Years for his Wanda to return to herself? He is grateful simply that she is alive, but he will admit to being afraid of what is to come. He feels Tony at his shoulder, supporting him silently. Steve meets his gaze and gives him a grim smile.

“Dr. Cho is certain that the Prototype will speed up both the bone and tissue healing enough to reduce recuperation time down to two weeks barring no brain bleeds,” Bruce says.

Doctor Strange nods in commiseration. “I have placed a burr hole in her skull and drainage tubes to allow any developing hematoma to siphon out. The nurses will be starting her on antiepileptics and corticosteroids for seizure prevention and to reduce the swelling in her brain. Bar in mind that while the Cradle may heal tissue and bone and even nerves, it may have little effect on Miss Maximoff’s brain. It is likely that she will still need a long time for recuperation. I will be recommending the best neurologists and therapists this hospital has to offer to aid in her recovery. Does anyone have any questions at the moment?” He looks to each of them. They’re all too overwhelmed to form questions now, and the surgeon seems to understand that.

“Thank you, Doctor.” Vision steps forward and shakes his hand. He is gratified beyond belief that Wanda will heal.

“Of course. I will have Dr. Whitefield and a nurse come give you more information. I was glad to be of help.” With that, the surgeon is gone.

Tony ensures that they have a large private room for Wanda. Vision is there constantly. He has never been so glad that he requires little sleep or sustenance. It means he can be there for every nurse’s report, every update, every twitch. The medical staff have been exceedingly tolerant of his presence, ensuring that they include him each time they come in to work on Wanda. One of the physical therapists showed him how to do some exercises to prevent limb deformity without increasing Wanda’s intercranial pressure. A nurse taught him how to properly do oral care, give eye drops, and reposition Wanda to ensure her comfort and reduce ulceration. Vision took pride in being able to take care of her in some manner, even these small things. She was his most important person, and all he wanted to do was help.

The room was kept somewhat dark and warm and was tucked into a corner so it was quiet and calm. Dr. Whitefield had told them that too much stimuli would overwhelm Wanda and likely cause a seizure or extreme agitation when she woke. She had recently become stable enough to breathe on her own, so a nurse had removed her endotracheal tube. They had all assured him that meant she was improving and strengthening.

Dr. Cho had successfully healed the gaps in Wanda’s skull with synthetic bone and the Cradle’s stimulation. Her scalp was mostly healed aside from the drains that Dr. Strange kept in place to ensure regulation of her intercranial pressure. Bandages wound around her head to keep the drains in place and to prevent infection from the incisions. Most shocking, however, was the distinct lack of hair. A nurse had explained to him that it posed an extreme infection risk during healing and that Dr. Strange wouldn’t have been able to do the surgery without removing it. Even after that most logical explanation, Vision remained dismayed. Another shocking manifestation was the blue-black bruising beneath both of Wanda’s delicate ears that extended to her upper neck. It is so dark that it looks like someone tried to choke her. Every time he sees it, Vision is jarred, is made aware of how tenuous Wanda’s grasp on life is. Dr. Whitefield assured him that this, “Battle Sign” as she calls it, will dissipate within weeks and that the cause has already been surgically fixed by Dr. Strange.

Despite this progress, Vision is still eager for her to awaken. He has missed her desperately. For the first week, he wanted to touch her mind with his. Bruce, sensing this, had warned him from doing so.

“Her brain is doing a lot of healing,” he had said, “having someone prodding around in there may keep her from creating the proper neural pathways and recuperating as she should.”

Needless to say, that had been enough to keep Vision from connecting with her.

He missed her voice. He missed her touch. He missed her kisses. He missed her curling up beside him in bed. Oh, did he miss her.

She wakes up in the middle of the night when he isn’t even the room. It is one of the rare moments where he requires sustenance (he hasn’t eaten in a week, and only left at Tony’s insistence that he and Clint would remain behind). Vision enters the room to see that the lights are dimmed even more than usual and hears the soft tones of Clint speaking. His gaze beelines to Wanda.

For the first time in five weeks, her eyes are open and locked on him.

“Vizh.” Her voice is rough and low. Vision aches at the sound of it. He instinctively reaches to give her water, but remembers shes’s not allowed anything to eat or drink until her gag reflex is assessed by a speech therapist. So he settles for moving in close, sitting right at her side and taking her hand in his.

“Darling, how do you feel?” He reaches to smooth her hair back as he always does, but falters. Instead he brushes his fingers down her cheeks. She closes her eyes and leans into him, sighing softly.

“Tired.” Vision leans down and kisses the crown of her head, her eyelids.

“Then sleep, darling,” he murmurs lowly, “I will still be here when you wake. You are safe.”

He remains by her side, stroking her face and arms and hands for hours with petal-soft touches.

“You love my hair.” Wanda sniffles a bit. For a moment, Vision is flummoxed. He had stepped out of the room to speak to Dr. Whitefield for a moment, and returned to the sight of a contrite looking aide holding a mirror for Wanda. He shakes his head to the aide, allowing them to slip from the room.

Wanda has never been the type concerned with her looks. Part of that may have come from the fact that she easily and carelessly fit into society’s standards of “beauty” before now. Additionally, both Bruce and Dr. Whitefield told him that excessive emotionalism could be a side effect of her head injury due to where the damage occurred.

“Wanda, I love you.” Vision moves to sit beside her, pulling a chair in close so that he can hold her hand. “I love everything about you. You are alive, and on your way to healing. That is all I care about.” He leans in, kisses her forehead. The lack of hair to tickle his face is new, different. For a split second he mourns that he won’t be able to run his fingers through her hair for a long time, won’t be able to tangle them into those strands when he kisses her. But he pulls away, sees her wide hazel eyes, the bandages taped to her head, feels the thrum of her thoughts against his. He can’t be anything but exultant that she is alive and beside him. “You are so beautiful to me,” Vision whispers, large hands coming to cup her face. He feels her tears well over and wet his skin. “I am in awe of the fact that you are here, that you are so strong to survive. I am stunned by your resilience, now more than ever.” He leans in, kisses each of her eyelids, tastes the saltiness of her tears. “You are nothing short of a miracle to me.”

Wanda crashes into him with a fierce embrace. Vision returns it carefully but wholeheartedly. He is sure that her continued healing will prove to be difficult, but he is so happy at her continued presence that he feels like he can take on whole armies.

#please let me know what you think!#scarlet vision fic #scarlet vision #vision/wanda #wanda maximoff/vision #my fic #infinity war #avengers #avengers fic

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darcyfirth · 7 years

Text

Hartwin fic recs (1/?)

[Long post]

I went through the fics saved on my Kindle aka I read them at least thrice (not the recently bookmarked ones on ao3 or on my laptop) and here are what I found. The order is mainly sorted by authors’ names and texts in italics are my comments. I try not to spoil them for you guys and only include tags the authors use.

⭐ Underneath - Ataraxetta. E, 37k.

Of course, a refusal to apologise and a handjob on the floor of a fitting room does not reparations make.

Eggsy left the shop that night with a new chip on the shoulder of his new suit. Harry left the shop that night with the knowledge of what Eggsy looked like flushed and trembling with pleasure under his hands and the certainty that this single torturous taste of what he wanted most was worth living with the possibility that he would not get another.

⭐ A Marriage of Inconvenience - autoschediastic. E, 11k. Fake marriage.

“Caution in the field isn’t confined to simply an awareness of your surroundings,” Harry says, his tone stern but his breath soft and warm against the back of Eggsy’s hand. His gaze lifts, his eyes hooded as he peers at Eggsy over the rims of his glasses. “You’ve told a lie, Eggsy, and now that lie must be truth.”

(Or, that time Eggsy scored them a better table by saying it was his and Harry’s anniversary and quickly grew to regret it.)

⭐ the train is a metaphor - autoschediastic, Ponderosa . E, 6k.

“What sort of aggression is it then?” Eggsy asks, cutting right to the heart of the matter.

Harry knows even before he hears the response. Knows because even as Merlin is saying, “It appears to affect sexual responses. Activating latent desire and cranking up the subject’s sex drive whilst simultaneously increasing pheromone production,” Harry is thinking primarily of the distance between himself and Eggsy and how very few steps it would take to be within range to push the boy to the floor and pin him there.

⭐ How (not) to get a dad’s blessing - BrightsideIsMyMiddleName. NR, 36k, WIP.

“You know, you almost fooled me yesterday with the whole I want to watch the legacies speech,” Merlin says and Harry groans, because he knows things just went tits up. “Well, I suppose you were half telling the truth. You wanted to watch one certainlegacy, but it was more about his mouth, eyelashes and that thing on his eyebrow you can’t seem to stop staring at.”

Harry head snaps up at that. “Oh, shite.”

“Oh, yes,” the agent keeps going, completely enjoying this. “You forgot to turn off your feed. I saw the flirting. And Lee’s reaction. Good luck with that.”

⭐ Conditions of Release - Calico. E, 5k.

Eggsy pulled furtively at the ropes binding his arms and legs to the metal tracks, as if he’d forgotten the last five minutes already. God, though. Before he’d felt trapped, terrified; now it was more like he was… at Harry’s mercy.

⭐ What Men Want - calico. E, 12k. Lots of UST.

Eggsy goes data-mining.

I died multiple times reading this.

⭐ Inopportune Moments series - calico, habernero. The whole series is a blessing and I’ll forever treasure the endless amount of UST in it.

⭐ Every Club’s Got a Secret Handshake - ChuckleVoodoos. NR, 4k.

A Kingsman needs steady hands, he tells Eggsy. I’ll resign quietly, he tells Merlin. Eggsy will make an admirable Galahad, he tells them both.

Or: In which Harry has a few minor issues following his head injury that no one but him considers issues.

Status after reading: Dehydrated from crying.

⭐ Ätherwellen - coloursflyaway. M, 2k.

There are three-hundred and twenty-six members in Kingsman’s tech departments all over the world, and obviously they have lots of stories to share about their agents and what they do to drive them crazy.

The best way to do so is a super-secret WhatsApp group, and if it gets a challenge for all of them to finally get Harry and Eggsy together, it might just be Merlin’s fault.

⭐ Through Time - coloursflyaway. E, 162k.

A chronic of Harry’s and Eggsy’s love, following them from their first meeting to the last time they set eyes on each other, through shots in the head and falling in love and finally getting their shit together.

⭐ Dream In Red - Corvin. T, 11k. Soulmates AU.

Eggsy wasn’t raised to take the soulmate marks too seriously. He could fall in love without them.

⭐ Street Sweepers, Night Watchmen, Flame Keepers - Deepdarkwaters. E, 36k.

Harry survived V-Day - because of course he did - but not all the Kingsman agents were so lucky. With the world still going to shit and the worst staff shortage since the organisation began, Merlin calls a group of retired agents back to their posts to help out while he trains the new recruits.

Featuring snowball fights, banter, innuendo, handsome old men, lady scientists, secrets in walking sticks, Harry’s appalling crush, thumbnails of bigger pictures, a pastede on plot crammed in around all the flirting which is really just an excuse for me to write a silly sword fight, and an old bet from 1986 that’s still not been decided.

⭐ in this safe place here - Della19. E, 5k. Omegaverse.

“I am entirely capable,” Harry proclaims cuttingly to Merlin, puffed up like a prissy cat. And Merlin throws his arms skyward like he’s just begging for lightning to strike ‘im where he stands and asks, with scathing exasperation, “Of what, waddling up to someone and ruthlessly bumping into them?”

And Eggsy one hundred percent doesn’t snicker, and he’s got the bloody inner cheek to prove it, ‘cause Eggsy’s a fuckin’ gentleman.

Instead Eggsy takes in the sight of ‘is pregnant mate, huge as a fuckin’ planet and still the most bloody gorgeous man he’s ever seen. And then takes in ‘is face, and he wonders how much ice cream he’s gonna need to buy to get them all through the four weeks of bed rest Merlin just ordered.

And then Harry’s upper lip looks like it might fuckin’ quiver, and Eggsy contemplates just buyin’ stock in Ben and Jerry’s.

⭐ i blinked (and there you were) - Della19. M, 19k. Time travel AU.

The Weeping Angels, Eggsy reads on the stolen Torchwood intel. Aliens that pose as statues, and kill their victims by sending them back in time and feeding off their years not lived in the present. The politest psychopaths in the universe, a note reads, scrawled in what looks like a doctor’s chicken scratch on the edge of the page by someone who clearly had a perverse sense of humour. A one way trip, the report concludes; you get transported by the angels, and it’s the slow road back to the present for you.

Eggsy lays his head back on the wall, takes stock of his situation. He’s lost 30 years - three years more than his entire lifespan up ’til now - in the blink of an eye, and now he’s stuck here, in 1988. Three years before he’s even born. Arthur, the prick, is sure to be heading up the Kingsmen, and Merlin, if he’s even there would be…20, maybe. Fuck, so fucking young.

Shite, even Harry’d only be…

Alive, Eggsy thinks, and finds himself sitting down hard from where his knees can’t hold him. This is 1988, and Harry’s 23, and alive.

Suddenly, being stuck in 1988 doesn’t seem so bad.

⭐ your world tomorrow - DivineProjectZero. E, 9k.

This is turning into one hell of a fairytale.

(or, the one in which Eggsy never dreamed of the Cinderella life and ends up living it anyway.)

⭐ all the tables turn - DivineProjectZero. E, 23k.

Harry Hart has terrible taste in men.

So it comes as a bit of a surprise when Eggsy smiles at him and the predator inside Harry cocks its head in consideration.

⭐ the things we steal (it was only a kiss) - DivineProjectZero, 5k. HP AU.

Eggsy whips around to find Harry Hart standing right behind him, holding a martini glass and just as gorgeous as Eggsy last saw him, three years and two months ago.

Thankfully, Eggsy is too busy staring in shock to actually say anything in response, because Harry then says, “Excuse my poor manners. Harry Hart. And you are?” And then extends his hand, which is how Eggsy remembers that he’s not supposed to be Eggsy Unwin right now; he’s actually undercover.

⭐ How not to attack Harry Hart - enjoy_acne. M, 31k.

Everybody wants to hurt Harry Hart. Harry’s really not sure what he’s done to garner such attention.

Where attacking even an amnesiac Harry proves near impossible. This is a romantic comedy with a dose of violence.

⭐ another head aches, another heart breaks - jonphaedrus. E, 44k.

It is a truth universally acknowledged that every good story has its Lazarus.

(or; the one where harry hart dies, and then lives again)

⭐ take me to church - jonphaedrus. M, 2k.

He sees Westminster Abbey. Instead of a burst of civic and national pride, it feels like someone has just punched him in the chest. Harry stumbles, nearly falls over, and he can suddenly see bright Southern sunlight, he can smell the scent of blood all over him, his shoulder aches where someone’s just stabbed him, there are bullet bruises all over his back. There’s someone screaming in the distance and he can see flat, brown eyes facing him down the barrel of a silenced gun.

He winds up crouched, retching on the floor of a public loo, head between his knees, breathing high and fast through his teeth while Merlin’s voice, quiet and calm and grounding in his ear tells him just stay there, Arthur, someone’s coming, and someone comes.

⭐ A Different Place and Time - Ferrero13. T, 23k. Time travel, soulmates AU.

Eggsy’s words are ‘What’s your name, young man?’, but Harry’s isn’t ‘Eggsy.’ So he keeps quiet, keeps it to himself, but when he finds himself face to face with a younger Harry Hart, Eggsy can’t help falling in love all over again.

Sometimes, the first words you say to your soulmate aren’t the first they hear from you.

⭐ On Hand - fideliant. E, 24k.

Or, Five Things A Gentleman Should Never Do Without

“In my defence,” Eggsy says, “It could have happened to anyone.”

⭐ Your Highness - Galahard. E, 40k. Modern Royal AU.

“The international community is in chaos this morning in the wake of the deaths of many world leaders. The death of the president of the United States has been confirmed, along with the majority of his cabinet. Great Britain can count itself lucky that the Queen has been found and finally returned to her throne, but her heirs are another story. It appears that both princes and their own heirs are among the casualties of what is being referred to as the Valentine’s Day Massacre. Sources close to–”

It just so happens that there is another direct heir to the British throne out there, but he’s probably going to need a bit of polish.

⭐ We musn’t touch what isn’t ours - inusagi. E, 11k.

Harry Hart is a sociopath, yes, but he’s a sociopath who loves Eggsy.

5 times Harry showed his true colours and 1 time Eggsy really sees it.

⭐ Irish Car Bombs - kimposibl. M, 5k.

“It’s from the gentleman over there,” replies the waitress, pointing over her shoulder.

“Err….” Now, Eggsy knows he’s pissed. He learned his limits and exceeded them back in Cambridge, so being drunk off his arse is nothing new. He also knows that he can finish his pint and maybe get away with one more drink before he’s making a raucous or somehow getting involved in a fight, but he certainly can’t handle six more cocktails of Irish alcohol.

“Invite him over,” he tells her with an easy smile.

–

Or, the drunken one night stand Eggsy thought he’d never see again until he does and they have sex again.

⭐ Gentle - KingKiller. T, 4k.

Harry lives. He’s alive and he knows it.

But sometimes at night after waking up from dreams (nightmares) where Valentine wasn’t afraid of blood and Gazelle wasn’t so enamored with the lisping psychopath Harry wakes in the dark all too sure he’s dead.

Do not go gentle into that good night.

⭐ Hold me tight - KingKiller. NR, 14k.

The dynamics between he and Eggsy had changed. And Harry doesn’t even know how to describe “how” it had.

Continuation of “Gentle”.

⭐ the parting glass - kirkaut. E, 48k.

The words shrivel and die between them.

Harry’s chest hitches on an indrawn breath. The contours of his face are cast dramatically in the fiery hues of the street at night, highlighting the wrinkle in his forehead and the soft slope of his chin and the silvery pink of his scar.

He’s beautiful, and Eggsy loves him.

“I miss you.” The confession falls. It lands heavily onto the pavement, cracking into the asphalt. “You’re alive, you’re right in fucking front of me, and I still miss you.”

⭐ Whenever you look up there I shall be. - LadyEmrys. E, 114k.

Watching the light spread in those heavy-lidded eyes, seeing the small twitch at the corner of his mouth - the only other physical sign he had strength enough to give - was more than enough to know for sure.

Eggsy was fucked.

Or: In a world rapidly descending into anarchy in the wake of V-Day, Kingsman - under the guidance of it’s new Arthur - must decide whether or not to abandon its hitherto undercover nature and save the the world from itself.

⭐ Ace of Spades - manic_intent. E, 44k.

“This is your next target,” Merlin said into Harry’s earpiece, as Harry leaned forward to look at his laptop screen.

It blacked out, for a moment, then a clip out of some interview began to play. The video was in black and white, crisply and tightly shot, its subject a young man shown seated from the waist up, against a pale gray background, grinning at the camera. He was probably in his mid twenties, dressed down in a black leather jacket over a pale t-shirt, loose over denim jeans, his hair long enough to feather slightly over his forehead, a hint of stubble over his chin. He was also, quite possibly, the most beautiful young man Harry had ever seen, and disturbingly… familiar, somehow.

As the young man laughed noiselessly at the camera, elegant serif type faded over the lower third of the screen: Gary Unwin, by Vanity Fair. Harry blinked, and studied the young man’s pretty face more closely, the crinkling around his eyes, the joyous curl to his mouth, the way he sat, relaxed yet alert, like a hunting hound, waiting to come to heel.

⭐ Kingmaker - manic_intent. E, 49k.

“Eggsy, I really don’t think-“ Merlin began, and stopped, because at that very moment, Eggsy walked right into a lamp post.

Across the street, at a sidewalk corner cafe, reading a paper, sandwich part-eaten on a plate, sleek, long legs crossed neatly under the table, was Harry Hart.

⭐ Strange Sights, Strange Wonders - manic_intent. E, 51k. Stardust AU.

In the glade where the star had fallen, the gloom of the gnarled old woods was deeper than night, save around the blackberry bush that had broken his fall: the grass and the battered leaves were now luminous, moon-touched. There was a long pause, broken by the sounds of twittering insects and the forest folk, then, there was a loudly groaned, “Fuck!”

The star rubbed a hand over his eyes, then flinched and held his hand up, spreading unfamiliar fingers up against the night sky. He turned his hand this way and that, curling and uncurling fingers, then he let out a softer, yet just as vehement “fuck!” and sat up, wincing.

⭐ Calm Like You - MartinShostakovich. E, 10k. Teacher/student AU.

Eggsy develops a heavy crush on his new Classical Literature Professor Harry Hart, and strives to reach the top of the class in order to impress him. Little did Eggsy know, Mr. Hart is fairly easy to impress.

⭐ As Fate Would Have it - midnightsurge. M, 45k. MI6!Eggsy AU.

The young man smiled brightly again, turning to face him slightly as they walked outside. “M’name’s Eggsy. Eggsy Unwin.”

Harry suddenly stopped in his tracks. He knew that name.

Eggsy turned to face him expectantly once he’d realised the other was no longer walking next to him.

“I think you knew me dad, righ’?”

⭐ the centre cannot hold - missbecky. E, 34k.

It’s a rainy Monday when Eggsy Unwin is killed in the line of duty. And it’s a rainy Tuesday when Harry Hart starts to feel that there is something very wrong with the world now. As one tragic event after another unfolds, he becomes convinced that Eggsy was never meant to die. Somehow he has to put things right again and find a way to get Eggsy back. No matter what the cost.

⭐ once upon a different lifetime - missbecky. M, 58k.

The night before the final test, Harry makes Eggsy a promise: once he is a Kingsman, they will talk about their future together. Then V-Day happens, and although Harry recovers, he doesn’t remember that last day he spent with Eggsy. Now Eggsy has to carry on like his heart isn’t breaking every time he looks at Harry and he thinks about what they might have had. He manages to do a good job of it, though, keeping things between them strictly professional.

So then, of course, Harry remembers.

⭐ One Night - Nickygp. E, 53k. Judge!Harry, rentboy!Eggsy.

Harry Hart, a Lord Justice, has his life turned upside down when he meets a young rentboy, named Eggsy, who charms his way into Harry’s heart. But can he act upon those feelings, or are their cirmustances too different to breach the gap?

⭐ Bluffing With An Empty Hand - nightwalker. E, 2k. Short and sweet.

The first time Harry Hart threatens to end Eggsy’s step-father, it’s a bluff.

The second time is going to be a promise.

⭐ No Charm Equal- potentiality_26. E, 29k. Cupid AU. The one that got me hooked on this author.

To say that Harry was too surprised to react at first would have been a grave understatement. He wasn’t literally invisible, because he did sometimes need to interact with mortals to do his job, he was just unnoticeable. People- the particular charge he had been assigned to most of all- were meant to see him and yet never actually process his presence. Unless he showed up in their houses- which a gentleman would never do, of course- they would ignore him and just get on with their lives. And yet here Eggsy was, closer than anyone had been to Harry since- well, since he was mortal, and that was long enough ago that Harry could hardly remember it- snarling, “Why are you following me?”

⭐ Getting It Right - potentiality_26. E, 8k. 5+1.

“Kiss me,” he murmured when he reached Harry, because while it wasn’t exactly vital to the mission that Eggsy convince this woman that they were in love, it would certainly make him feel better. Harry pressed his mouth to Eggsy’s as he passed him a glass of champagne, and ‘feeling better’ went out the window. The kiss was quick, sweet, marital. Eggsy didn’t know how Harry made it feel so practiced, but he did.

“I have an admirer,” Eggsy informed him, almost breathless with how much he wanted Harry to kiss him like that every day, how much he wanted Harry to have a reason to.

Five times Eggsy gets Harry to kiss him for the wrong reasons (and one time he gets it right).

⭐ Enough to Live On - potentiality_26. E, 19k.

Harry stated the obvious, something he should have seen that morning but hadn’t: “You shopped.”

“I been here quite a bit,” Eggsy explained, shrugging one shoulder. “And anyway it seemed… better. Food in the fridge, nothing gathering dust. Made it more like you’d be back any day now.” Eggsy swiped his knife over the bread with a little more aggression than was strictly necessary, but his voice was very even. “You said you’d come back and sort things. But you didn’t.”

Harry comes back a week after V-Day. He isn’t strictly alive, but that means less than he would have expected it to.

⭐ An Ocular Condition - ProdigalQueer. G, 3k.

Harry sees his adjustment as easy, but that’s only because he’s not really looking.

⭐ Only As Directed - rageprufrock. E, 12k.

“Arthur is a bad man,” Roxy had said.

“Fucking tell me about it,” Eggsy had muttered, and gone to put on the tarty trousers Harry had picked out for him like a fucking high-end pimp.

⭐ A Taste of Mallorca - Regency. M, 18k. Chef AU.

Harry is a celebrated food critic. Eggsy is a Youtube-famous food blogger. They meet at the grand opening of Mediterranean restaurant Mallorca when they’re forced to share a table. It’s a meal, and a night, neither will soon forget.

⭐ my saints fallen series - neroh. From T to E. I love this so much.

⭐ The Mate in Roommate - ronahn. E, 5k. Uni AU.

Out of all of the blokes occupying their flat, Harry was the one Eggsy saw the most, and yet they had only ever shared passing greetings. It was a growing source of disappointment for Eggsy; he was strangely drawn to Harry and his gorgeous brown hair and eyes.

⭐ The Spy who Loved Me (Or so they say) - ToriCeratops. E, 54k. Fake relationship AU, Pining.

In the wake of V-day the world’s economy hangs in a delicate balance, liable to crumble without warning. One man has the knowledge and the power necessary to send it tumbling down, so that only he remains on top.

The Kingsman have been tasked with stopping him before he can carry out his plan. In order to do so, Harry and Eggsy must act as lovers at an elite couple’s getaway to earn this man’s trust. Will they be able to carry out their mission as planned? Or will old wounds and buried emotions cause a havoc greater than anything they could have expected?

⭐ Kiss Me Now (before I can run) - persephoneggsy. M, 37k. Soulmates AU.

It wasn’t unusual, Eggsy told himself. There were plenty of people- just a little under half of the world’s population, really- that weren’t with their soulmates. Some of them just hadn’t met yet; others had died beforehand; and then there were the people in Eggsy’s situation. Sometimes people genuinely didn’t want their soulmates. Either they were in love with someone else, or they just didn’t like what they got stuck with, and Eggsy imagined the latter was very much the case with him and Harry. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must have felt like for him, the world’s prime example of a posh bloke, to have his soulmate be some beaten-up kid. He would have rejected him too.

Or: soulmate AU where you know your soulmate from the moment you touch them, and when you do, their name gets written over your heart like a brand. But that’s not always a guarantee.

⭐ Tailor Shop - rougewinter. E, 13k. Like a Disney movie except really gay and for grown-ups.

“There’s no need for that now.” The older man said, both hands raised in a placating gesture that only had Eggsy narrowing his eyes in wariness.

“Who the hell are you, anyway?” Eggsy demanded, making sure to keep the poker up.

“My name is Harry Hart. And I’m the man, well, the mannequin that you just assembled.”

The one where Harry is cursed to be a magical mannequin and can only be saved by the power of love.

⭐ that which lingers - bruises for tomorrow. M, 22k.

Here is something that Gary “Eggsy” Unwin (aged 24 and ¾) never knew to expect from ghosts:

- Sometimes their absence hurts worse than their presence.

⭐ Married to the Job - trilliath. E, 18k. Mutual pining, misunderstanding.

"Hm?“ Merlin asks, distracted when he looks up and squints at Eggsy’s face, then catches up and resumes working. “Oh. No. Zania Bonatti, Italian artist and activist. Also Harry’s wife.”

“You wot?” Eggsy blurts, eyes snapping back to him, then over to Roxy like he might’ve mis-heard.

But he hasn’t because Roxy’s face wrinkles minutely in sympathy that has Eggsy’s ears burning and he snaps his eyes away again in humiliation.

“Yes, Harry’s married. Did he never mention that to you?” Merlin pauses long enough to frown briefly, then he shrugs. “Well, on to more important matters…”

⭐ you make motion when you cry - unhappy_turtle. E, 4k. Pining.

“Wanna go on an ate with me?” Eggsy slurs, “I’ll give you the D later.”

“You are very inebriated, aren’t you?”

Eggsy nods, his head feeling too heavy.

⭐ These Hands (Had to Let It Go Free) - Vacilando. G, 12k.

He does not only recognize this man, he knows him. Harry knows the way he laughs and the way he would smile cheekily at Harry. He knows the way this man say his name, all rough cockney accent and confidence. Harry knows him better than Harry knows himself but none of that matter because Harry does not remember his name.

Nor is he sure if this man is real.

⭐ Breathless (A Tale of Eggsy Unwin) - xxjinchuurikixx. E, 101k. Pining.

“Harry–"Eggsy breaks off, because, god, Harry’s here! He’s alive, breathing, beautiful, and he’s got Eggsy crushed in his arms and Eggsy can feel his mouth tingling from the roughness of his kiss.

Then Harry pulls back; more-so he shoves Eggsy away. He keeps him pinned to the wall, at arms length, and Eggsy is pleased to see Harry is panting, stray chocolate hairs fallen out of place. The action, however, makes his blood feel cold, and he stares up at Harry in confusion, expecting something more. But Harry makes no move to close the space between them again.

When Harry speaks, finally, it’s low and deadly and it fucking hurts.

“Forget that ever happened.”

⭐ Virtue Over Avarice- Yessydo. M, 13k. Tailor AU.

Eggsy crashes his stepfather’s car into the front window of a quaint but reputable tailor’s shop on Savile Row and, thanks to the charitable spirit of its mysterious owner, ends up working there to pay the damages.

⭐ Lots of Lost Time - Yessydo. E, 1k.

A year after his “death”, Harry is reunited with Eggsy, who has some strong feelings on the matter.

⭐ Lavagulin and Guinness - Snarfle. E, 163k. I waited eagerly for every update of this.

Plenty of people had looked down on Eggsy throughout his life. He had gotten fairly used to it. Didn’t mean it was fair, but he knew how these things worked. What really sucked was that the new Arthur was worse than the old one.

“Eggsy grimaced. He didn’t know how to explain to Harry – who seemed like he hadn’t been discriminated against a day in his life – that the new Arthur kept giving him what amounted to suicide missions, and that he was currently bleeding out in a warehouse because of the deliberately bad intel she had given him.”

#hartwin #eggsy unwin #harry hart #hartwin fics #kingsman fics #ao3 #darcyfirth's lists #fic rec #m/m

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christophersymes · 5 years

Text

Celebrity Status

Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.

<– Previous / Next –>

Chapter Three

Later on that week, Jules was messaging Elías between class and work. He was sitting in his truck, adjusting his collar on his work shirt and frowning at the message Elías had sent about having something important to talk about.

familyjules: hey, dude. i have a bit of time between school and work right now. what's going on?

Mason's stomach flipped when Jules finally replied.

masonfucker1000: hey

masonfucker1000: i need to tell you smth

masonfucker1000: its been eating me up and i feel horrible about it

masonfucker1000: my name isn't elias

masonfucker1000: but i cant tell you who i am and im sorry

Jules looked at the messages as they came in, swallowing hard. He ran a hand through his hair, frowning. He felt like crying. Whoever this was was really torn up, but that didn't matter to him at all. He didn't care who they were, as long as everything else was real. That's all he fucking needed. He didn't really care, just as long as it wasn't...

familyjules: but everything else is real, right? idgaf about your name but we have something here

familyjules: be it friendship or whatever else it could be as long as you're not catfishing me to teach me a lesson or some shit i don't care about that

Mason let out a breath he didn't know he was holding when Jules replied.

masonfucker1000: no catfish. everything else i've told you is true.

masonfucker1000: uh wait are you saying you have a crush on me

It was a serious conversation, but Mason couldn't help it. He had blinked and reread the message, doubting its existence for a moment. This was the first time Jules had seriously mentioned them being anything other than just friends. He couldn't just let it go.

Jules blushed at the second message, realizing he had. And he wasn't being totally honest with them either, but... He didn't know what to do. It was too late now to change that, especially if whoever it was was straight and had a crush too, which seemed true. He hoped it was true.

familyjules: maybe. depends on if u feel the same

Mason grinned, face hot at the response.

masonfucker1000: maybe, u say. idk abt that, those sound like v conditional feelings

Jules smiled. Back to good old... whoever.

familyjules: shut up you dork

familyjules: maybe i do have a crush on you.

familyjules: also what should i call you now if not elías?

masonfucker1000: well i definitely have a crush on you, baby

masonfucker1000: you can call me anything you want ;)

familyjules: asshole is the perfect name for you, asshole. ;)

familyjules: okay i gotta get into work. have a good evening, asshole! i'll talk to you later

masonfucker1000: ofc thats what u pick

masonfucker1000: talk to you later, jules x thanks for being awesome

Jules frowned a little at the end of the last text. He could only hear it in Mason's voice from the concert. He'd said it so many times: at every fucking concert Jules had ever watched live and the one he went to. Either this was a Mason superfan who was adopting language, or it... No. It couldn't be.

He pushed the thought out of his head. It was ridiculous.

Yet, as he went into work and through the night, he kept coming back to it. He just kept thinking about how cool and terrifying it would be if he were talking to the actual Mason Hill, but also how unlikely that was.

But it was oh-so fucking likely! The way Mason had kept looking at him at the concert could have been a coincidence, or it could have been Mason looking toward that general area and Jules was just a wishful thinker. Or it could have been Mason looking at him because he knew him. Because he liked him.

But the chances of Mason Hill being Elias and liking Jules... It was so ridiculous. The chance of that was, like, one in a fucking million.

Anyway, shouldn't he be wishfully thinking it was Austin going by his middle name and Jules totally seducing him?

masonfucker1000: hey hey heyyy how's it goin how was work

familyjules: exhausting. underpaying. the usual. had some woman threaten to throw a salad at me tonight because there were tomatoes on it and she hates tomatoes so much it warrants violence supposedly.

familyjules: but i was in a good mood overall thanks to you and your mutual crush... speaking of we should talk about that

masonfucker1000: yikes! cloudy w a chance of tomatoes up in there i see

masonfucker1000: aww! you're welcome

masonfucker1000: alright (?) hit me w it

familyjules: i don't want to like... date or anything til we meet if we ever do

familyjules: don't get me wrong i like you a lot

familyjules: but it feels wrong to do ldr if i can't know your identity at all even though i dont care that much about it

familyjules: just in terms of dating i'd need a name, you know? and more than just your age and that we like each other

Mason groaned. He saw it coming, but fuck.

masonfucker1000: no yeah, that makes sense.

masonfucker1000: i like you a lot

masonfucker1000: shit

masonfucker1000: fuck

masonfucker1000: i want to meet you

masonfucker1000: but

masonfucker1000: i think maybe some more time would be good

masonfucker1000: figure out how im gonna do this

Jules stared at the messages, feeling really bad about it. He sighed, hitting his forehead against the wheel lightly. Idiot.

familyjules: yeah. i'm sorry dude

masonfucker1000: hey no

masonfucker1000: don't worry abt it, you're right

masonfucker1000: you're being super sweet and understanding and i appreciate it

masonfucker1000: have i mentioned i really like you?

Jules sighed, leaning back again. He was too smitten for this guy. This was great. He hadn't seen this yet from him.

familyjules: i really like you, masonfucker1000

familyjules: for lack of a better name

Mason snorted, wheezing and bending over in his seat.

masonfucker1000: wow.

masonfucker1000: you really have a way with words

Mason had been floating on air ever since he'd finally told Jules that he wasn't Elias and Jules said that she liked him. It was amazing! It was unlike anything he'd felt before! Which meant he obviously had to share every detail with his bandmates.

"Good morning, prisoners of the Junkmobile!" Mason announced his knowingly unwanted consciousness as he hopped off his bunk, narrowly missing slamming his head against the top bunk adjacent to his. Their tour bus, which they tended to give nicknames, was a mess, but it was their mess, and really, everything was where it was should be.

"That wasn't the name we agreed on, was it?" Austin frowned, pausing in the middle of a spoonful of cereal.

Andrew rolled his eyes as he tossed a pile of Hot Pockets in the microwave.

"The Rat Roller has many names," Mason ruffled Austin's hair. He froze and frowned at them making sad breakfast. "Hey! No tourfast! Don't we have a few hours for Bryan's break?"

Chris groaned from a bit farther behind them in his bunk, "Stop trying to give everything a tour nickname. I thought you'd given up on that."

Bryan was their driver, and he took his breaks very seriously. He was definitely passed out right now. Not that they interacted with him much to know much more than that. Bryan, as many band bus drivers tended to be (in Nosam's experience), preferred minimal contact with the rabid animals that usually inhabited his enclosure.

"Never!" Mason hollered, grinning. "It's fun. Where's your tour spirit? Now, c'mon, let's go and get some actual food."

Andrew grimaced as if the concept of leaving the bus had physically burned him. "Rather not."

Austin nodded in agreement. "Pretty sure there's fans right outside. We're due for a hotel in a day or two anyway, we'll go out then."

Mason bounced a little, annoyed and definitely going fucking crazy on that bus. He pushed himself off the counter, falling into the booth across from Austin and sinking into it. "Guys, I'm going to lose my shit if I spent one more minute in here. Who cares if there's fans out? We'll say hi. I need out of this bus. I need to do something."

"Then go, no one's stopping you," Andrew looked at him pointedly.

"But I don't wanna go alone," Mason whined, looking off to Chris' bunk, his curtains half-closed. "Chris."

There was loud groaning from the bunk, and the curtains were shoved open as Chris' head poked out, blinking tiredly. "What, Mason?"

"Tell them we have to go out."

"We don't," Chris sighed.

"You guys don't love me anymore," Mason went on, throwing his head back.

Austin rolled his eyes. "Mase, we just want a break. We've got a show tonight, Stella's calling soon and—"

"You called her last night!" Mason sat up to look at him.

Austin blushed, his face turning red like a curtain falling over his face. "So? I miss her, I haven't seen in her in a month."

Mason made multiple sounds that were a mix between constipated groans and a kid throwing a tantrum.

The microwave blared, only adding to the volume. Andrew yanked the door open, a disgruntled sound falling from his lips as he grabbed the burning hot pockets with his bare hands. "And I have a date with the PS4," he announced as he carefully placed a can of Redbull on top of the pile in his hands and escaped to the back of the bus. Chris promptly ducked his head back in so Andrew could pass by, giving Mason a pleading look as he closed the curtain.

Mason pouted, quieting down as he stared at Austin, who awkwardly pushed Reese's Puffs around in his bowl, taking out his phone. Mason groaned again. "How about brunch? In a few hours?" he asked, loud enough Andrew in the back could hear. "C'mon, I want to tell you guys something."

"If it's about cyber sex with your fan, nyet!" Andrew hollered back.

"I second that motion. I've heard enough about Jules' sexting skills," Austin gagged.

The bunk their bassist was in made a bunch of unintelligible, mumbled Sleepy Chris sounds that Mason roughly translated to: I agree and I'm happy for you Mason, but please, no more of that.

Mason grinned, "No, but it's important. Pretty please?"

"Yes!" Chris yelled in exasperation, followed by a noncommittal uh huh from Andrew. Mason smiled, and then quickly dropped it to give Austin a sad look, but his performance was rudely interrupted by Austin's phone ringing.

Austin's face lit up as he picked up his phone, glancing up at Mason. "Okay, okay, brunch, but go somewhere else, alright? Watch Andrew or something."

"Okay, but if you guys start talking dirty, I'll throw your phone out the window."

Mason settled in next to Andrew, who frowned and sighed quietly, but otherwise didn't complain. The back of the bus was, for the most part, an unspoken quiet area, unless everyone was playing a game or talking about a game, or it was a Serious Conversation.

Mason watched Andrew dominate, and then Andrew handed him a controller. Chris joined later when he wanted to get away from Austin and Stella's horrible phone call that was, of course, taking a turn for the sexual. Mason quickly opted out of the next game when he got a message from Jules.

familyjules: hey hey masonfucker1000

masonfucker1000: oh my god not you again

familyjules: ): u hate me that much already? didn't we just admit we have crushes?

Mason grinned at the reminder. Crushes! He felt like he was fourteen, but he didn't care. They had mutual crushes, and this felt genuine, and natural, and like it could actually be something. AKA, as he was realizing, the polar opposite of all his exes.

masonfucker1000: what? idk what ur talking abt man

familyjules: not-elías cmon

familyjules: don't be a dumbass ):

masonfucker1000: im always a dumbass, darling

masonfucker1000: how was work?

familyjules: eh, it was alright. people are rude, but it's expected

familyjules: how was ur day? haven't heard from u much today

masonfucker1000: its been p chill! day off! mostly been lazying around and playing video games w friends! i hate tony he beats me! almost always! im gonna kill him!! and you wont even know its him on the news!

Sometime early on in their online relationship, Mason had had a hard time not mentioning Andrew, Austin, and Chris. They were his coworkers, his bandmates, his best friends and his family. His bros! How could he not? So, he'd ended up using other names for them. Tony, from Andrew's middle name Anthony, Vic from one of Austin's last names, and well, he'd just been spelling Chris as Criss, which was horrendous but a necessary evil.

familyjules: i'll keep an eye out for tonys in the obituaries and let the cops know they should look for a traveling prostitute who sounds like mason hill when he sings. what game did u play?

masonfucker1000: alrighty but I'm like fucking Mary Poppins ill be up and out before they even get there

masonfucker1000: Halo 5

familyjules: you're fucking mary poppins and not me?

familyjules: D:

masonfucker1000: ohmy god

masonfucker1000: i wish

masonfucker1000: i had a disney boner for her i swear

familyjules: okay but do u mean julie andrews or emily blunt poppins?

masonfucker1000: UH COME ON

masonfucker1000: OBVIOUSLY JULIE ANDREWS

masonfucker1000: MY TASTES ARE RAD AND CLASSY

familyjules: just making sure dude

familyjules: emily blunt's pretty hot after all

masonfucker1000: MEH SHES ALRIGHT

familyjules: smh your tastes are awful

masonfucker1000: u just fucking dissed urself

familyjules: damn right i did.

familyjules: on the contrary tho

familyjules: i have amazing taste.

masonfucker1000: dont u dare! u are the most gorgeous! the MOST! gorgeous!

masonfucker1000: and shit i cant argue that

familyjules: making me blush again, mf1000? already?

masonfucker1000: anytime and all the time

masonfucker1000: okay but what if I had the biggest grossest mole like

masonfucker1000: on my nose

masonfucker1000: im not saying i DO

masonfucker1000: i DON'T

masonfucker1000: and I'm also not saying moles are gross

masonfucker1000: okay

masonfucker1000: what I mean is

masonfucker1000: what if i was your definition of

masonfucker1000: fucking butt ugly

familyjules: oh, you're mason hill?

masonfucker1000: oh

masonfucker1000: my

masonfucker1000: fucking

masonfucker1000: god

masonfucker1000: u KNOW you wish u were mason's hands !!!!

masonfucker1000: i cant believe you !!!

masonfucker1000: i thought we had something !!!

familyjules: i didn't say his hands weren't pretty

familyjules: just a joke!! you dumbass

masonfucker1000: His HANDS?

masonfucker1000: thats ALL?

masonfucker1000: what about his PERFECT FACE?

masonfucker1000: his MUSCLES?

masonfucker1000: his HAIR?

masonfucker1000: his ASS?

masonfucker1000: his AVERAGE DICK?

familyjules: they're not awful, i guess. i doubt you look too much like him tho

masonfucker1000: I LOOK perfect

masonfucker1000: THATS ALL U NEED TO KNOW RN

masonfucker1000: AND HE'S PERFECT

familyjules: god this is why i don't interact with mason stans smfh

familyjules: now if u look like austin.... i'll nut in my jeans as soon as i see u

masonfucker1000: FUCK U

masonfucker1000: MASON STANS ARE THE BEST

masonfucker1000: and i look BETTER than austin so u WILL nut

familyjules: better??

familyjules: than austin?????

familyjules: does not compute?????????

masonfucker1000: you're INSUFFERABLE

masonfucker1000: I'll murder him

Mason whined indignantly, earning a look from both Chris and Andrew as he grabbed a pillow and stood up to launch it at Austin, who stopped mid-sentence to Stella to stammer and glare at him. "We're not being gross!" He blushed at whatever Stella said in response to that, quickly turning away again.

Mason sat back down without explanation, only mildly satisfied.

familyjules: okay im starting to think you're a traveling murderer prostitute. is that more correct?

masonfucker1000: im too pretty for prison

familyjules: that... wasn't a no

masonfucker1000: 😉🔫🔥🗡️💼🕶🤖🖤😍💥

familyjules: what's the robot doin in there? do u kill via robot?

masonfucker1000: im an emotionless killer

masonfucker1000: ruthless

familyjules: OH. kinky

masonfucker1000: oh, yeah? youre into that?

familyjules: ;)

familyjules: maybe i am

masonfucker1000: wait ur into ruthless murderers or being ruthlessly murdered

familyjules: ;)

masonfucker1000: oh my god its the latter isnt it

familyjules: 🤤🔫🗡️🔥🤖

Mason had practically dragged the boys out of the bus. For all the constant complaining about how cramped and boring the bus was, they sure hated leaving it. Which was totally understandable, fans could be a lot, especially after hanging with them during so many shows and meet and greets, but it was definitely worth it for some food. Or at least that was what Mason thought.

With the help of a couple of bodyguards, the guys managed to get through a small crowd of fans and cameras near the bus, and into the nearest decent-looking restaurant. Mason sighed happily as they were seated. "You guys need sunlight and all that. Papa Rod said we shouldn't be shut in the bus if we can help it."

"Papa Rod can suck it," Andrew kicked lightly at Mason's leg, looking over the menu with interest.

"Do you think they have frozen yogurt? I've been craving it for weeks," Austin questioned, miserable and hopeful as he flipped to the back of the menu. Chris' eyes widened and he dropped his menu in favor of looking at desserts with Austin.

Mason laughed, "If you guys are doing dessert first, I'm in, but I want pie. Wait, you're distracting me! I need to tell you something—"

"They do!" Chris pointed out the froyo on the menu, and Austin gasped.

Andrew watched them deliberate excitedly over flavors in amusement, glancing at Mason. "What's up?"

"I sort of told Jules the truth. That I'm not who I've been telling her I am," Mason blurted, raising an eyebrow as Austin and Chris stopped to stare at him.

"What does that mean?" Austin gaped. "Does she know who you are? Did she faint? Have you checked social media?" Chris tried to discreetly check his phone.

"No," Mason rolled his eyes, laughing a little, "Of course she doesn't know— I just, I couldn't keep lying like that, I felt like shit. And after actually meeting her... I just couldn't, so I told her I'm not Elias, but that I can't really tell her much about me."

"Oh," Chris frowned, putting his phone down. "That's... still sort of..." "Complicated?" Andrew supplied, playing with his fingers anxiously as a few people around them stared and whispered to themselves excitedly. "How'd she take it?"

"Great, and we even admitted we had feelings—"

Andrew gasped sarcastically, smiling slightly as he dropped his chin in his hands as he leaned forward. "You admitted you had feelings?"

"You're not funny, Drew," Mason tried to hide a smile, his next words making it easier. "She said that we can't really... well, date, if she doesn't know stuff about me and hasn't even met me. I told her I'd need time to figure it out. I want to tell her, but... I don't know," Mason muttered, sighing and looking down at the table as he played with the corners of his menu.

"Makes sense," Chris smiled sympathetically, giving his hand.

"We would really like to not experience another Catherine," Austin teased.

Andrew shuddered, "Don't even mention it, I still half-expect for some agent to send us a thriller screenplay based on your fan stalker."

"Ha ha," Mason chuckled, "Okay, I know I've said I'm not really into the big screen, but I would totally do that one."

Andrew looked to Austin and Chris. "So, are we getting the froyo?"

They spent way more time than was necessary debating the validity of certain froyo flavors (honestly, an old debate constantly refueled), Mason checking the Nosam site after they had finally agreed on one.

masonfucker1000: real talk: whos the one person youre embarrassed to say you want to fuck

familyjules: real talk? mason hill

masonfucker1000: aw COME ON

masonfucker1000: what did MASON HILL EVER DO TO U??

familyjules: im KIDDING

familyjules: ur reactions are just hilarious

familyjules: honestly tho? my clone. i'd fuck myself.

masonfucker1000: sadist

masonfucker1000: wait

masonfucker1000: what

masonfucker1000: you'd what

familyjules: lots of shame in that

familyjules: you heard me

familyjules: read me?

masonfucker1000: 1) i did not expect that

masonfucker1000: 2) why would you have any shame in that

familyjules: 1) gotta keep you on your toes

familyjules: 2) it's fucking myself, dude??? you wouldn't feel any shame if someone walked in on u fucking ur clone?

masonfucker1000: not at all

masonfucker1000: thatd be hot

familyjules: anyway, who would you be embarrassed to fuck?

familyjules: you're biased.

masonfucker1000: biased? cuz i know im hot shit? yeah probably

masonfucker1000: and uh...

masonfucker1000: huh

masonfucker1000: Christina Ricci

familyjules: oh, i thought you were talking about u walking in on me fucking myself. damn. familyjules: misinterpreted

familyjules: and christina ricci????? she's fucking hot

familyjules: why would u be embarrassed

masonfucker1000: that would also be hot

masonfucker1000: and yes, she is masonfucker1000: you don't just fuck christina ricci, you take her out on a date and then get horribly rejected by her

familyjules: .....fair.

masonfucker1000: not to mention shes probably a top

familyjules: major top vibes from ricci too. u trying to tell me something, not-elías?

familyjules: HA

masonfucker1000: ... im a top

familyjules: what if u walked in on christina ricci fucking me

familyjules: what then

masonfucker1000: oh shit

masonfucker1000: id be so mad

familyjules: would u bottom for christina?

masonfucker1000: ...................................................................

masonfucker1000: yes.

familyjules: damn. u would be embarrassed to fuck her then huh

familyjules: wait would u be embarrassed to fuck stella? u could take her and i could take austin

"Ugh, gross," Mason grimaced, sighing at Austin, who had some froyo stuck to his mouth when he looked up at him. "Why is Jules so obsessed with boning you? It's like, the only turn-off."

Austin shrugged sheepishly. "You're finally into someone and she couldn't care less about Mason Hill. It's the universe telling you you're not that great."

"Don't slander, Sally, I'm the best the universe has ever made. The Goddess made me on the seventh day."

Austin opened his mouth to argue, but thought better of it. Froyo was vastly more important than Mason's ego.

masonfucker1000: oh jesus christ

masonfucker1000: i guess i would but i don't like the second part of that plan

familyjules: you don't? ):

masonfucker1000: nope

masonfucker1000: you can take chris

familyjules: ugh

familyjules: dont get me wrong i love chris but i don't love chris

masonfucker1000:

masonfucker1000: ugh?

masonfucker1000: HA

masonfucker1000: thats hilarious

familyjules: he's just big inspo!

familyjules: christo!

masonfucker1000: how bout Andrew?

familyjules: UGH

familyjules: BORING

masonfucker1000: OH SHIT cmon

masonfucker1000: what makes u think he'd be boring?

familyjules: i'd take MASON over andrew

familyjules: i mean, andy's cool and all but he's so quiet

masonfucker1000: you make it sound like fucking mason would be so horrible

familyjules: need someone to talk to

familyjules: puh-LEASE he would be

masonfucker1000: the quiet ones are always the freaky ones

masonfucker1000: oh he talks a lot to the band doesn't he?

masonfucker1000: WHY DO U SAY THAT

familyjules: the freaky ones? are you joking that andrew's freaky? interesting

familyjules: yeah but i'm not the band!

masonfucker1000: im just sayin its who hes close to !

familyjules: what, are u jealous of mason now cuz he's my second choice? this is hypothetical, man

masonfucker1000: masons above all, im jealous u somehow think austin tops him and me and apparently everyone else

masonfucker1000: do u have eyes??

familyjules: hey i didn't know you were in this equation

familyjules: i'd choose you anyday, ne

familyjules: definitely my top choice.

familyjules: 1. not-elías (tho i'd need a name to moan) 2. austin elías salinas vicente 3. mason hill

masonfucker1000: awwww SHUCKS scratch that i have never been jealous in my entire life

masonfucker1000: I read that as neigh tho

masonfucker1000: what's your favorite thing in the entire world

familyjules: is that even a question?

masonfucker1000: yes it is tell me

masonfucker1000: is it sour gummy worms

familyjules: oh that's a good one

familyjules: check out that list again, dude

familyjules: hello? did i kill u or something?

masonfucker1000:

YEAH how are you single ???

give a dude a WARNING

familyjules: whoops

familyjules: just found the right person, so... waiting on them

familyjules: OOPS. warning

masonfucker1000: im the right person, huh?

familyjules: pretty sure you could be

familyjules: not a 60 year old mouth breather? apparently hotter than austin? loves nosam?

familyjules: hilarious?

familyjules: sweet?

familyjules: only downside is: mason stan.

familyjules: but that i can live with

masonfucker1000: oh my god that's an UPSIDE

masonfucker1000: youre really in for it baby

masonfucker1000: im the definition of the right one

familyjules: oh, i'm sure

masonfucker1000:

despite your unrelenting obsession w Austin, you are absolutely heartstoppingly gorgeous, and the easiest person to talk to, with the lamest sense of humor (like me) and you are a huge teddy bear!! 🐻 so right back atcha, sweetheart

familyjules: dumbass. there's that sweetness i was talking about 💙💙💙💙

#writeblr #writers on tumblr #lgbt fiction #trans fiction #lgbt stories #celebritystatus

0 notes

tackyink · 7 years

Text

@themeddlingkids your tags are always the highlight of my day, I always end up reading them in the subway on my way back home, and other passengers look at me because I pull weird faces

#U UPDATED IN THE MIDDLE OF FINALS WHY #IT WAS A NICE MOTIVATOR TO GET THINGS DONE THO IM SORRY IM LATE

I thought I updated in the middle of finals last time! (ｼ;ﾟДﾟ)ｼ Gosh dang it you young’uns need to send me your schedules so I know when to post the chapters!

#ALSO I LOVE THE RETURN OF THE 'DOING WHAT U THOUGHT BEING A PIRATE WAS ABT' LINE CAN I THROW IT A PARADE

I put that one there for you (°∀°)b

#'THE FIREPLACE TROUPE' ALMOST MADE ME SPIT COFFEE ALL OVER MYSELF WHY ARE U DOING THIS TO ME TACKY I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS

What do you mean friends don’t try to make you spit when you’re drinking. Have I been doing this wrong?

#IT'S SO MUCH FUN TO READ & U ALSO KNOW WHEN TO STOP BEING A SMARTASS SO WE CAN TAKE IT SERIOUSLY & IT'S GREAT TO READ

If only I knew how to apply this to real life

#'THEY'RE NOODLE PEOPLE AND A BEAR' OH MY GOD #YKNOW THAT POST THAT'S LIKE 'WHILE MY GF'S OUT IM GONNA CUT OFF THE SLEEVES OF MY SHIRTS?WHY/BC SHE'S LIKE 90% OF MY SELF CONTROL'? #STH LIKE THAT #ANYWAY THAT POST IS LAW & BEPO'S RELATIONSHIP IN THIS CHAPTER

Bepo is Law’s fluffy conscience and it’s all fun and games until they get separated. But Hilda and Ruddy know no fear.

#SUCH A GOOD CHAPTER IM SO EXCITED FOR WHAT'S TO COME & ALSO TERRIFIED & I KNOW IM GONNA CRY & U'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE RESPONSABILITY

Nooo not yet! I’ll take responsibility if it happens, but I don’t think this arc is going to be so terrible. Save the tears for the timeskip, ahaha

#thank you so much for taking the time to write this every time seriously you're awesome #themeddlingkids

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neopuff · 8 years

Text

riverdale ep 1-3

these twins always make me >___>

oh yeah i knew jason was gonna die

this is very artsy

i thought he was murdered

tragedy

oh......a mom for veronica

what is a...chocolate shoppe? and why? does it sell? burgers?

is veronica the new kid

OH KEVIN

the gay kid gweiopubgoewgnew

the acting in this is terrible

the archie actor is clearly not a real ginger so i approve of this casting lmao

“to pass time i started composing poems in my head” shut up archie

archie: says anything betty: amazing!

lmao

betty: ive been thinking about us- archie: is that a hot bitch i see

“we do, both of us, together”

omg

GNOIWPEGWE BETTY’S FACE IS KILLING ME

awkward

oh....archies dad

thats not archies dad

archies dad got that fat gut

“im a sophomore’ BITCH NO UR NOT

SHES GOTTA BE LIKE 25 LMAAAOO whaaatt

im still dying theyre supposed to be 15 gwenpiubgewo;gwe

“gay, thank god, lets be best friends” im gonna piss and die

wow

love these pussycats

“ive had every flavor of boy except orange” its better that

waywiongubwepogn;wegew

ARCHIE AND GRUNDY IM DYING!!!!

IM GONNA FUCKINGGG DIIEEEE

GRUNDYINOGEW;EWL

im pissing im

DYING

shes the music teacher

why wouldnt they just make up a new teacherniogwepng;ew WHY IS SHE MS GRUNDY!!!

archies dad/veronicas mom have a....history

“chose the rich kid”

wow

so many divorced parents

outdoor cafeteria

when will i see a high school that has one of these forreal

i assume its a west coast or south us thing

kevin: refers to cheryl as a widow me: i called the JOKES

“is cheerleading still a thing?” “is being the gay best friend still a thing”

the dialogue in this show is terrible its so funny

im glad betty/ronnie is a good ship

grundy is all turned on by archies music

this is so gross and im DYING

“i dont think thats a good idea” cuz u fucked a 15 year old bitch

theyre not talking about the fucking

did cheryl murder her brother

why doesnt just one of them say it and not mention the other

bitch ur the only one who’d get in trouble ur an ADULT

that was so lackluster

wow

GNIWEUPGEW;OGWE

CHERYL’S FACEGNIEW;GEW

like yeah....not the kind of heat i meant :\

im glad cheryls the villain i always hated her

wow

veronica: i know who u are [has known her for 2 minutes]

this dialogue is so unnatural and bad its cracking me tf up

get WRECKED cheryl

veronica: betty and i come as a matching set

i bet u do

time for football

“what you got something better to do” dont be rude

awww

“why did you defend me” just accept the kindness u fool

man

i like mr lodge

this is very awkward

was polly a character in the comics i dont remember her

WOW

“both of us” gewinouogbewgew

im DYING

in the headspace

“archiekins” gweinouobgweo;ngew

wow

“cheryl blossoms cheerleading squad.......”

bettys mom is so annoying

she sounds familiar

mr lodge just sent a lotta money their way

why did the coach call his dad

he said hed give him a day

impatient ass

archies dad is just like :\

these actors dont look related at all

which is funny to me

oh good its the pill in ibiza song

omg

i love that veronica is the speech giver in this show

moose/kevin gwiuebogiwgew

where is REGGIE

my SON

wow

openly talking about the illegal secrets at a big party

i just realized reggie is the asian guy

i didnt hear his name and couldnt figure out who tf that was gweopiubgwe;ngwe

im a fool

whered ronnie go

dancing with the gay guy, god

“i have this fantasy of us as a power couple” who asks someone out like that

STOP STARING AT GRUNDY

this is super awkward

cheryl is gonna murder...everyone

they could just

chill

“cheryl blossom truly is...the antichrist” just all her a bitch like a normal person

“we’re not just friends we’re best friends” shut up archie

wOW

hes NEVER FELT for betty

if these two make out i s2g

once they kiss cheryls gonna open the door

foolish children

ronnie dont DO IT

foolish

sighs

boring

what how tf would she know they made out

did they not come out at exactly 7 minutes

ok but wheres betty

oh hey jughead

i like jugheads not-crown

now shes goin straight for love

“of course i love you” hes being so...obtuse

annoying

ok now its about not being good enough

sure

did they find jayjay

and look at that

he got shot in the head

probably by his sister

its obvious cheryl did it

im sure theyll switch it up like somehow it was secretly jughead

but it was cheryl

ok ep 2

fgewgw

why were they even fuckin at 6 am

cant believe they made moose gay

i forgot his gf’s name in the comicsniguwebgew

god

the actor that played jason was so uggo

GEWNIOG;EW SHARING A SHAKE WITH HIS TWIN SISTER!!!

maybe someone shot him for being so openly incestuous with his creepy sister

i know its like plagueing archie now but i feel like this should help him

“are you up?” “no” “youre killing your mother”

he went to grundys house

weird

and hes shirtless

“you could be expelled” “we could go to jail” NEITHER OF THOSE THINGS WOULD HAPPEN TO HIM!!!

pedophilia is not a two way street

bettys mom is...the worst

betty plz dont talk to your bitch mother about your life

i love archies eyebrows

i hope this is the end of archie/betty forever

wow

“sardonic humor”

bye jughead

is kevin not out to his dad

“the yellows for friendship” sure

veronica is so aggressively into this friendship

YAYYY

the otp stays together

wow

betty u are a fool

that is your future WIFE

hi mr weatherbee

cheryl is wearing a spider pin gewoinubgewlngkew

CHERYL

archie and mr weatherbee just gonna

make eyes

jughead: archie you KILLED him

fewijohuog

HE THINKS ARCHIE DID IT

no jughead i was just fucking the hot prof

jughead: ew

fewiougobewgno;ewlgew

kevin moose is your new bf

“fate throws us together” ok

wow

why is he rejecting moose

because hes in the closet???

hes clearly trying to come out cmon

everyones terrified of cheryl now so thats good

bettys mom

“i ship it” why

“moose has an official girlfriend...mitch” i feel like i heard this line wrong

oh, betty

dont cry sweetums

“im supposed to say yes” THE DIALOGUE

ronnie is trying so hard with these dramatic white ppl

really

they couldnt even keep weatherbee fat

is this channel afraid of fat ppl

wow

does this bitch just sit in her empty ass music room all day

is she not really even a teacher

DONT TALK ABOUT FEELINGS

YALL ARE GROSS!!!!

disgusting

bitch get a dog and leave teenagers alone

WOW

WOW LMAAAAOOOOOOOO

AAAAAAA

JUGHEAD: WHAT!! GROSS!!! WTF!!!

this is not high school cheerleading

one of the girls here actually looks like a high schooler

cheryl just called herself exoticgewiongewiogew; CUZ YOURE A GINGER? BITCH

i die

betty why

wOW

betty dont do this

cheryls a crazy ho

i know theyll make up by the end of the ep but still

“like we were meant to be best friends” gweniguebwg

2nd grade tutor

gewinogubwegw

“oh, little archie-” little archiewgn;klew I DIE

references are what i live for

i cant believe betty let cheryl into her house

wheres her mom to scream and chase her out

welp

there goes that

betty dont let her into ur HOME

whats betty doing

“BEFORE I KILL YOU” BETTY

terrible thing to say

are they not friends because archie stood him up

cougarngiewgew

SHES A PEDOPHILE

awkward

i guess bettys mom coulda killed jason

“sometimes a friend is better than a boyfriend” actually, always, not sometimes

oh reggies finally doin something

gonna keep up the reggie/jughead rivalry

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

“you wanna d the right thing” the way archie said that made it sound like he wants to fuck her and she doesnt want to

but whatever

so does jughead and bettys friendship not exist in this universe

nod like douches and mutually suppress our emotions

wow

this dialogue is still awful its so funny

i hope it never improves purely for my amusement

out door pep rally...

[dances]

fewiulgbew

AHH HONEY HONEY

YOU ARE MY

CAAAANDY GIIIIIIRL

good shit

cheryls having a Time

god the kid that plays jason is so uggo

bye cheryl

finally getting a genuine emotional response from her

were they gonna fake his death for attention but then he was actually dead

yayyy

make up

veronica is over here like “betty and i were destined to be friends” and betty is like “im sure we wont know each other in a week”

aww archie and jughead back 2gedda

does jughead know betty or not

wheres the jughead/betty brotp of my past

veronica and jughead: interact me: yes...

im glad that, unlike in the comics, archie is not dating both girls at once and then also every other girl he meets

where ya goin weatherbee

wha

A CHALKBOARD LOL

i doubt a school like this would have a chalkboard instead of a smartboard

did she do it

gasp

im sticking with my fake death for the attention theory

OK LAST EP

im enjoying this show

but i dont think i could take multiple Dramatic Teen Shows

how could cheryl be wearing that skirt in public school

“the plan was bananas”

jason just wanted.....to leave

thats fine

who got shot

gwneio;glkwe

in my neighborhood it wouldve just been the hunters

is archie gonna have a shiner for the rest of the show

is betty not poor as shit in this universe?

i shouldve guessed from her moms outfits

“a lois lane type like you” nice and ronnie can be clark kent

omg leave grundy alone so she can die in hell

wha

why didnt you just say that you were alone

dog

a date....

hes hot

good call, ronnie

CHUCK CLAYTON

“hes kind of a player” dont be racist, betty

he is hot as hell tho

awww “juggie”

finally jughead and betty are 2gedda

jughead you need shit for your college applications

oh right, dilton

what

“im not ten years old” but you are 15 which is not very different

so if chuck is in the show is nancy gonna be around too

ronnie/chuck is a good ship

“to OUR relationship” shut the fuck you youre a pedophile

wow

the sticky maple....

wow

chuck was cute

ronnie is gonna tear him apart

man

why does chuck have to be a dick!!! chuck was always a nice guy

fewionpgnew

betty: [COVERS FACE]

destroy him

PUNCH HIM

why is chuck a villain im bothered but also hes the worst destroy him

this terrible au version of chuck is terrible

“nothing is off the table...except for my body” weiugblewnkg

i love the pussycats

is this every other girl chuck did this to

its ethel

hi cheryl

go away

lmao

whose this kid

wow

ok jughead

dont steal his ice cream

dilton shot a gun gwoinegbpweo;nglwe

survivalist?!?! DILTON

IM DYING

HES A TECHNOLOGY OBSESSED NERD

why do the pussycats roll their eyes at josie

“a bnd with b&v”

did they find...ze book

so the football players dont even fuck the girls its just about getting a date and a selfie???

cheryl, doubting her brother

what

just take the book

why not...just take the book

powerful

bettys rly lucky her mom isnt violent

(for now)

she looks super awkward in that

omg

the sound of bettys lil demons in her head

“and a hot tub....”

this is such an awkward conversation

just imagining this with real 15 year olds is ridiculous

oh hey ronnie

chuck youre so fucking stupid

shes wearing a swimsuit and heels this is CLEARLY A TRAP

GWENOIGO;NEW

BETTY

black is not a good hair color

ronnie: im so turned on

GEWNIOG;EWG

SLAP!!!!

i just realized why archies dad is so familiar

he was on generator rex AND clone high

love it

part of me always liked archie/josie

15 is not late wtf

“slut shaming...its what they call it when sluts get shamed” wow

when does bettys mom get murdered

are they gonna burn him

betty

LMAO

shes fine shes just pissed

awww

dads gonna support u now

must be NICE

gweoniugbweo;gew bettys face when ronnie said she called chuck “jason” was so funny

are they gonna do some she went off her meDS OO---OOOHHHA AAAHHH TERRIBLE BEAST

#burn it

cheryl tryin to make up for ze past

i still hate her idc

omg when does grundy get murdered too im done with this pedophilia subplot

STAY AWAY

FROM THE CHILD!!!

-___-

dilton you fool

im happy juggie and betty are hanging out

dont mention ms grundys car

YOU

FOOL!!!!

im tired of this pedophile plz shoot her next

ok im all caught up

whens the next episode

#riverdale #carro watches riverdale

7 notes · View notes

the-countessa · 8 years

Text

Embrace the suck...it's gonna be a long ass night

It is not that I no longer care, because I do, and always will; not matter how angry, how hurt, how used up I feel, and without rhyme or reason, I always shall care. I'm always going to keep an eye on his facebook to make sure he is still alive and ok. I'm never going to stop wishing things were different or hoping like hell they're gonna change, or get something back from before. And I mean wish, and hope and hell, even prey (my version anyway) But I simply cannot have the person that he has become in my life. Too much hurt; too many times times over the last four and a half years of being treated (as he is fond of saying) like a cunt. Cheated on when we were dating, lied to repeatedly, and my feelings being railroaded. Then when I sat there, angry and upset, demanding to be treated with respect and consideration; well, with each time, it's become harder and harder for him to see. And treating my pain as insignificate and only from some shallow places of jealousy. And yes, even I can see the obserdity of it, to end it all over, as he sees it, pizza. But after so long of looking after him, since the very beginning back in Gravesend when we first hung out and he was unemployed, buying him food, trying to keep him going as best as I could. All I have ever done really. After doing that and being treated so badly and used up, when I needed him to simply return the damn favour when I had no food and no money, I get thrown out on my arse, for a date? And the ironic thing is, the bit he doesn't know, I actually like the idea of this one... But after so long giving and giving and giving; after him banging on about gratitue and friendship and giving back, he simply failed. Failed again. Failed me. And then to have the line "You're not my enemy, you'll just be another 'friend' that's decided to not talk to me anymore." as though I haven't tried time and time again, as though nothing I have ever done made any sort of matter; not Christmas (not good enough), not his birthday (too depressed), not paying for food, gym clothes, warhammer boards, taxis to and from a&e, not all the time I cooked dinner, did the laundry, made the bed, bought the linin and kitchen crap, not the running to the chemist when he was sick...not the sex, dating, friendship. None of it. And no, that doesn't mean I've forgotten what he did for me...but it doesn't balance the books. He let me move in with him, rent free, to get me away from my dad who was close to driving me to suicide; but that he had someone to pay for food whilst he wasn't working, pay the rent when he couldn't manage it (once? twice?). And arrangment of mutual conveniance that saved him just as much as it did me. Yeah, he paid out for some great nights out, but so did I...but it hurt more to pay for tickets to go up to London and watch him butterfly his arse around his friends, only to return for a drink. Hell, I paid for his birthday and for him to be at my own. The books just no longer balance, and there is only so much one can put up with until you wonder "why am I here? How can this be friendship when I feel like I am trying to constantly please you, only to have it go unnoticed, unmentioned?' I was always the first to fight his corner and the last out the ring, no matter what. But more and more he says and does things that leave me speechless and sick. A mutual friend lost the love of her life a couple of weeks before christmas; he'd have rather spent his money on a bottle of booze than support her. Even heard tell that she offered to pay for him to go to the memorial, just because she wanted him there...he couldn't muster up enough friendship to support someone who has truely lost something vital. December again, I spent a small fortune on a long month doing everything I could to make it good for him, almost the way you would for a child. And after forking out over £60 for his birthday, paying for him to come out for mine...couldn't even manage a 99p birthday card. What did he say to me the day before Christmad Eve, something about him rather spending his money making him happy. Not a thought to giving back. Halloween; I get sexually assulted, and what frightened me most was him pining me to the bed with his hands around my throat screaming at me. And promptly throwing me out. Ignored me for three days. Told me how his hands around my throat was my fault. The wife beater excuse, the line of domestic abusers, that it was asked for. And that's now ironically been capped off with him telling me to report the abusive bastard who lives next door. And that is who he is. A lying, cheating, violent, angry, bitter man, so self obsessed that if he were to read this, would be more concerned about him image than that he has hurt and terrified the person who has done more good things for him than most. So self-serving, he's rather date than help a friend who sucked up their pride and fear and asked for just a little help. So hypocritial, he bangs on about how pro-feminist he is, how much he understands mental health because he has problems too, that he oh so easily paints me as the Crazy ex-GIRLfriend, throws my depression in my face, hell, even the other day he was pulling at the thread of someones BPD. So obssesed with this idea he has of happiness, that he doesn't spair a thought for those he climbs over to get to it. So weighed down with his past, so stuck there, that any female worth a damn couldn't get through; more in love with what has gone that he barely appreciates what he has. Ok, so exactly true; he has been more than happy to praise everyone else who has helped him (joint incommers or people who have had a sudden windfall) just not me. The one who the second she can't afford to keep him is told "If someone offers to pick me up n feed me for free then sorry but I'm gonna take it." turning his date into little more than a meal ticket and showing me that I am no longer of any use. What was the point of me? That isn't even a drop in the ocean of it all; so much over the last four and a half years. And memories that should be good are now completely tainted. I managed 28 years on this earth without one real regret, until now. And that is I regret having ever met him. And that is heart crushing. That is what drives me into a bottle and into a packet of little blue pills. For my shame. So, how can I still care for someone, after all that? Maybe everyone, his people and mine, are right, Im just abused and frightened and simply stockholm Syndrome. Or maybe I am right, maybe underneath it all, the fear and anger and confusion, there is a good soul. Or maybe my mother is right and he is suffering from some serious mental health issue. I just don't know anymore. But still, how in the hell can I still find it in me to give a damn and wish we could go back? It's fucked up. I don't know if he'll read this. I hope he does. I really hope he does. I know he'll be fuming, see it as an attack or bitchfest. But honestly, I just want, and he needs to see that he cannot go on this way. That this, who he has become and what he is doing is not good or right, for the best, or anyone elses fault but his own. And fix it! No one else can. I am not just some 'friend', I was your best friend who would have done anything to keep you from drowning. I did not decide to not talk to you, I am just simply unable to talk without wanting to scream and shout and cry and hope like hell something finally gets through that thick skull of yours! And no, I am not the only one. Hell, my family hates him now; even my own mother, who opened her home to him after he cheated on me with Jasz because I asked her to, who stood by me during so many arguments and rows before Christmas to ensure that he wasn't alone wants to clobber him (though, as I keep telling her, she is disabled and probably would not get very far). And as for his friends? How many of them told me to run, call him a snake, have told me how they are done with his melodrama and bullshit...and not just the ones who show two faces, but the genuine good ones have basically decided that they are done. I'm sure that will send him into a rage, but I should be clear that no, I haven't been slagging him off to everyone and their mother just to get that response because I have been begging everyone to tell me I am wrong. And trying like hell to make sure these people stay close enough in his life to keep an eye on him. I do not want him to loose his people because (so long as he doesn't continue to alienate them) he will need them. It hurt to see him advertise a gig for a band that he knows I love, that he promised to take me to, because he cut me out. It hurts to read him alter history just enough that I loose my place it in. It all hurts and I get angry and yes I lash out. Because it is unfair and crule. But I'll get over that all in time...a very, very, very long ass time. What I shall not get over is his self-distruction. Ok, maybe we no longer fit in one anothers life; but to watch hin waste his life, ignore his health, and basically act more like a child than the almost 40 year old adult is driving me nuts. I want to shake him. No, I want to tie him to a chair whilst I beat him with a basebalk bat yelling "I love you but sort you fucking shit!" Own your mistakes. Admit to them. See yourself for what you really are, and fucking well fix them! Take a long hard look at your life, stop blaming others and walking around with a chip on your shoulder like the Universe owes you something and get the hell over it. And take a long hard look at everything you have done to me over the last four and a half years, be honest with yourself about your actions, your behaviour; from the editing of a truth to "save" my feelings, to the outright lies, cheating, using my body like I was a whore (a post for another time, but fucking someone without eye contact, without a simple sodding kiss, and with what we did, without basic aftercare, I have come away with some serious issues in regards to sex...on top of a sexual assult) and see through my eyes. See how it looks and feels to always be dropped by you best friend for the same reason time and time again, sex. No other reason, not for family or friends or emergancies or work or anything, just sex. Just open your eyes. All this writing, all these words are for me, and though I know he will be angry for it, I hope that there is an understanding (finally) that this silly little account is the one corner of the internet is mine. And surely a hell of a lot better than posting it to facebook. And Id never be able to say these things to him, because his anger would stop him from actually listening and just start shouting me down. I don't honestly know if he'll read this, but I hope he gets to the end. I hope he reads and dwells and thinks and learns and changes. I do not know how to get out of this blackhole, I only know that he is the only one with the power to do so. All I can do is make an attempt to follow a little of my own advice. I am lacking for a life, but I am working on it. Not to spite him, but regardless of him, I need it. And I need to follow my passion too. Something that makes me happy, that I hope may bring joy to others. You broke my heart, and my spirit, but I shall rebuild me. A better me. Me who will be just as giving and as loving as I always have. And I sincerly hope he can do the same because he is on a path to his own personal hell, and to stay in his sphere right now will only drag me down with him. I cannot allow that. And once he has fixed him, maybe he'll come find me, and maybe he can lay some groundwork to fix us, better than before. But no one can live on just hope forever. Anyway, if you stuck with this long ass post, thanks. And ten points to you. I realise it's filled with melodrama and meloncolly...and god awful spelling errors, but I dont have a spell check and it is below freezing and I am smoking up a storm as I type. And it's dark too since we've blown a fuse at the homestead. But I am an emotive person, a quite a talking, and a classic over thinker whose mind has literally been stuck on this issue for the last 2 weeks and 6 days. And people have told me to talk to him, but I know he will not listen to me, so I figured, try here? Maybe something might get through? And maybe, I can expell some of this negativity and pain so I can move on, in that healthy mature sort of way. Anyway, I guess that's it. XOXOX

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