#mind you i was crying because i have severe sensory processing disorder and the storm already terrified me but my disorder made it 10x worse | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lolitarosebride · 4 months ago

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crazy how my mom did nothing for me except put me in situations that physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually traumatized me and created an environment where I was sexually abused by all the men and boys she allowed to be around me and left me alone with yet has the audacity to say she's a great mother like are you serious I almost let the neighborhood pedophile abduct me just to get away from you. You have the audacity to say daddy coddled me and babied me, insinuating that he made me weak, yet the “coddling” in question was just him being a good father and protecting me from you, who would hit me and strangle me and throw me against walls, your disabled and chronically ill child, just because my crying was frustrating you. I was crying because I was afraid of you, but sure, threaten to “give me something to cry about,” that'll definitely make the toddler with chronic pain from head to toe stop crying.

#tw csa vent #tw abuse vent #vent post #chronic depression #chronic pain #chronically ill #chronic illness #trauma survivor #actually ptsd #emotional abuse #actually traumatized #child abuse #abusive mother #she literally threatened to throw me out into a tropical storm because i wouldn't stop crying #mind you i was crying because i have severe sensory processing disorder and the storm already terrified me but my disorder made it 10x worse #imagine feeling like there's stones being thrown on the roof over your head in the midst of an earthquake that shakes the ground #beneath your feet every few minutes with the addition of a blinding white light giving you a mini heart attack every time it flashes #and the rain sounding like a rumbling avalanche while the wind sounds like a wolf howling and your own MOTHER telling you #“stop crying or im gonna throw you out there” in response to you being terrified. that's literally what it was like for me.#i'll never forget that moment bc that was the first time i heard daddy yell at her in defense of me. looking back on this memory #i share the same outrage as he had back then. my mother was the worst bully i've ever had.

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