#“ooooh baby skulls are so cute” | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

wolfsrainrules · 4 years ago

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Heres another fun grandparent thingie, The Acrobaleno as Izuku's. Or even better as "Hisashi".

...........I am so weak for BNHA and KHR and giving them children damn it. ALL

--Who needs a quirk if you have Flames?? Izuku is quirkless, but Flames blend so well as a ‘quirk’ the Vindice are more....’dont talk about mafia shit’ and less ‘dont get caught with flames’ so long as the flames can blend in your specific family as a quirk.

(considering Flames are somewhat hereditary in having them, if not in the type you have, it’s easier in some then others.)

Izuku is particularly lucky, cause his father has a ‘flame’ related quirk, plus his grandfather and thus gets away with this much easier.

--f u c k screwing up a good childhood friendship when I love good friend Katsuki Bakugou, so say hello to Izuku’s Storm, fight me.

--Inko is 2000% a bad ass Sun and will fuck you up.

---Izuku?? That boy is a Sunny Sky.

FON --The absolute beatdown this kid could give people by the time he was five is whooooooo.

--Fon terrifies the HPSC and is very much proud of that fact. He teaches Izuku to be wary of their games, but also to be enough of a Bad Ass they can’t corner him verbally of physically.

-- Fon is both very proud his grandson is a Sky and very protective. Because Izuku is a Sky related to an Arcobaleno, and the world is very much interested in that.

Fon won’t have it.

His boy’s Elements will be genuinely found and Bonded and he will Fuck Up anyone that tries to prevent that.

--Izuku has the Hibari temper in s p a d e s. He was a tiny ball of rage and FIGHT ME as a toddler, and Fon was the one to teach him to reign it in, Inko remembering her father’s childhood temper stories. It’s why he gets along with Katsuki so well, and why he’s so FERAL even if no one believes it until it’s too late. TSUNA (for giggles, cause I’m weak)

---Izuku grows up surrounded by adoration and love, and a wild variety of personalities. He’s....a little odd himself as a result.

---He’s definitely a force to reckon with, being a Sunny Sky, with the Vongola Hyper Intuition? Ooooh, he’s gonna abuse the hell out of it in hero work. And in Friendship but nicely. Shhh.

---Izuku never doubts he is loved, and he relishes in the strange Vongola traditions and UA is....comparatively a breeze to Uncle Reborn. He actually likes Aizawa On Sight, beyond his Hyper Intuition because he reminds him of his Uncle.

---Izuku enjoys Cosplay. Reborn thought it was funny to fuck with Tsuna that way, Inko thought it was hilarious and cute, and Tsuna....also thought it was cute despite the internal sdfgsgfdsd. Reborn is thrilled.

---Izuku fights best with his hands and body, but he sure as hell knows how to ROCK a gun, because Uncle Reborn and Uncle Xanxus would have no other options on that, and his genius little mind ROCKS the math for trick shots. His Uncles are so proud.

REBORN

---Reborn has been the family man at heart, for a very long time, for all that he never said so openly. He was there for all of Izuku’s milestones, and adores the little Sunny Sky beyond words.

---Absolutely was teaching Toddler Izuku gun maintenance way before he should have done, but Inko was taught the same and sees no issues. with this, so Izuku knows the names of gun parts and how to put them together and take them apart and safety rules....long, long before anyone else would have.

---Inko is a sharpshooting, trick shot capable bad ass and no one is ready. Least of all her S/O. (He’s w e a k)

---there are....so many cosplay baby photos. There’s an album or 5. Reborn 1000% has copies on hand at all times and will pull a “LOOK AT MY ADORABLE GRANDSON” if you let him. (The other Arcobaleno will sit down and look at them, becuase Izuku has them all wrapped around his tiny fingers and hes cute as hell okay)

VERDE --He is SO pleased with Izuku’s level of brains. He hones that from the start

--The Analysis skills he has?? ABSOLUTELY not wasting those.

--He is totally Izuku’s Support Gear provider and he will FIGHT for that right, shut up

--He’s very devoted to keeping Izuku alive and well be the end of his career so he can retire and he will see it done.

--Inko has those smarts too btw. People are...very shocked by the Sherlock like anility to pull them apart both Midoriyas share and it can...make people uncomfortable.

--Nedzu is t h r i l l e d

--The rest of the school is low key terrified.

LAL/COLONNELLO ---Army Kid Izuku okay. Because Inko kept some habits, and they both showed up often and Izuku is a powerful little shit even young as hell

--Very good with guns, take 2 XD

--Mafia Island is a playground for Izuku, and he relishes in the challenges of the training grounds his grandparents come up with. Better training after all!

(Katsuki ALSO thinks its great) VIPER --Izuku is so good at getting money. So so good at it. Viper taught him so many tricks, and he uses them like whoo. Beter source of money he has, the better his job gets done, and he wants enough to take care of his people soooo.....

--Despite money hoarding, he’s also likely to use it for things, more than Viper. It’s not about him having the money, so much as it is having enough to help with what he wants to help with.

--Also grew up around Varia. Izuku is very much a deadly little shit.

--Very likely to go Underground in this one in my head??? Like just. WRECK IT. He’s a little shit, but a vey powerful magnetic one.

--Establishes the first real, very deadly, Underground Heroics Team, and they are....very effective.

SKULL

--Ahhh, yes. Izuku is very much taught to act. To display what needs displaying.

--Grew up around Circus Folk, and he knows....a hell of a lot of their tricks.

--Super flexible and powerful and works hard for it

-- Very much a super popular ‘small time’ hero in daylight, but a very driven, very deadly, very well known Underground Hero who can and will fuck you up

#crossover fun #bnha #khr #arcobaleno grandparents #arcobaleno

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fallout-drabbles-n-stuff · 4 years ago

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Hey there! What kind of car do you think the FO4 companions (and Maxson) would drive, and what kind of driver would they be?

(This is most definitely Pre-war or Modern! AU, so this'll be fun)

Cait:

•No car here.

•Instead, Cait drives a dark gray Harley Road King- outfitted completely with skulls and matching gloves.

•Fucking terrible to be on the road with.

Curie:

•Drives a rather cute, white Audi TT.

•Has several notebooks littering the glove box. Random coloured pens, EVERYWHERE.

•Probably has one of those infuriating ty beanie babies sitting upon the dash, staring into your soul with those inhuman beady eyes.

•Okay driver....

Danse:

(I've mentioned a long time ago that in my Pre-War AU, both Danse and Gage are some country bois..well here you go)

•Drives a hella nice, red, lifted Ford F-250 King Ranch. He loves it, but he usually just uses his "baby" to help haul things around.

•Take the love his canon counterpart has for his power armour and apply it to this Danse's truck.

•Has a sticker of his respective branch (I'm think Danse would be a marine or army man..idk) that he is too proud of and hangs his dog tags on the mirror.

•Stupidly strict about following all rules of the road.

Deacon:

•Ever seen one of those creepy vans with a painted tiger and wizard battling on the side? That's Deacon's.

•The back is renovated with a whole ass couch, tapestries and a funky disco ball.

•Calls it "the party wagon"

•Drives however he feels like.

Gage:

(Yee haw..)

•Drives an absolutely massive, dark gray, lifted 2019 F150 super duty. Has modifications on this bitch so expensive and wonderful that even Danse would shed a tear.

•Has a skull sticker on his back dash, a rifle behind the front seat, and brass knuckles in his glove box. Man is just waiting for a fight. Even the fucking antenna cover is shaped like a bullet...

•If you want to see your life flash before your eyes, ride with him. Uses the shoulder as a lane to pass people, thinks the speed limit is a mere suggestion, and is willing to ram someone for cutting him off.

Hancock:

•Thanks to his funds, he drives a pretty nice black Range Rover with fancy red interior.

•Advent drunk driver but somehow never gets caught.

Macready:

•Drives an old, yet dependable, 2004 Nissan x-terra. Boy, does that thing make him so close to cussing because of that thing. Duncan always laughs at him when that happens.

•It periodically stalls, but it's still faithful when he needs it....

•Mediocre driver..until someone cuts him off.

Piper:

•Drives a 2013 convertible, bright red, mustang!

•Blasts music and drives fast af when it's safe...but is strangely the safest one to ride with out of everyone else.

Maxson:

•Mr. Maxson, or rather the Maxson family is ridiculously rich..lemme just put that here first.

•Drives a badass, black Mclaren P1.

•Terrible driver.

Nick:

•Drives an astonishing cream coloured vintage Cadillac.

•Smells of smoke and coffee and the inside has cigarette ashes and littered newspapers.

•Drives waaaay too slow.

Old Longfellow:

•Does his boat count? Because he isn't really supposed to be driving that thing either but shit, it's better than getting caught driving his car with his suspended license having ass. Don't drink and drive, kids.

Preston:

•Drives a cactus green Ford Bronco. Freaking adores that thing too.

•Has a little rubber duckie that wears glasses perched up on the dashboard. It's name is Steven and he is considered Preston's good luck charm. Laugh all you want damnit.

•Frequently causes traffic jams because he'll let everyone out in front of him.

Sturges!:

•ooooh boy.

•This man loves his several cars, but his main one is a very sexy light blue '68 chevelle that he affectionately refers to as "sweetheart".

•He built the thing up from the ground practically,

•Has a relatively unhealthy attachment to that car and will beat someone up over sitting on it.

•Extremely careful driver...unless he is drag racing in one of his other babies, then it's game on.

X6-88:

•Also doesn't drive a car.

•Instead drives an all black CBR 1000RR Honda motorcycle.

•Has blue LED lights under the bike. Show off.

•Gives zero fucks about traffic rules and primarily drives at night.

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raygirlramblings · 4 years ago

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Excuse me while I rage

tw// animal abuse tw// animal cruelty

Getting pretty damn sick of seeing videos of ‘CUTE’ retriever dogs dragging cats around with their mouths like it’s some kind of adorable trick. Getting even MORE sick of people turning into oblivious Facebook grandmas and going ‘OOOOH IT’S CUTE, WHAT A SMART DOGGIE’ completely ignoring the cat’s behaviour and body language or having a basic understanding that dragging a cat around BY IT’S FUCKING HEAD is not cute.

Oooh but then you get the ‘oh but the cat doesn’t LOOK upset. If it didn’t like it the dog would get a face full of claws!’ arguments popping up.

If some giant came into your room, grabbed you by the head (albeit gently) and dragged you out of bed, and regardless of how much you fought back the giant would only let you go when they felt like it, and they did that EVERY DAY without fail, you’d probably eventually stop fighting because you realise there’s not a damn thing you can do about it.

Cats can absolutely stand their ground but if you live with something 4 times your size that can easily overpower you and possibly kill you if it wanted to after a while you stop trying to fight because you know you can’t win, especially when humans 10 times your size won’t step in to help you.

‘But labs and retrievers have soft mouths! It’s fine!’

I’m not going to claim to be a dog expert but in my limited experience of dogs I think it’s safe to say that is NOT WHAT SOFT MOUTH IS FOR. Retriever dogs can carry things very gently without breaking them, but this generally refers to game birds like ducks and pheasants where the hunter doesn’t want the prey to be ripped to shreds by the dog. It’s one thing for them to carry a duck dangling by it’s neck if your plan is to kill and eat that duck, but dragging a much heavier cat by it’s head putting all that weight on it’s neck is NOT THE SAME THING and can cause serious injury ESPECIALLY if the cat is fighting to get away!

Oh, and don’t forget that soft mouth doesn’t mean a retriever cannot bite down, hard. It’s still has those sharp teeth which are designed to rip and tear meat and bone. This isn’t to demonize dogs (cats have sharp teeth too obvs) but anyone who uses the argument that soft mouth means the animal LITERALLY CANNOT do harm doesn’t understand dogs as well as they think they do.

Put it this way. If a Labrador grabbed a human baby by it’s head and trotted around with it, would you think that was cute? Oh but retrievers have soft mouth! It’s fine if they’re dragging that baby over rough carpet and hard floors and down steps and dumping them in places where they didn’t want to be. It’s fine that the dog’s canines are scraping over the baby’s soft skin, it’s just playing and being a good boi! It’s FIIIIIIIIIIINE [/s]

‘But cats carry their babies by their necks, its the same thing!’

NO IT IS NOT.

Cats generally carry their BABIES by the SCRUFF of their necks. It’s carrying the baby by the skin and neck fluff, not biting down on the spine or skull. Sometimes, yes, they might pick up a baby by it’s head to move them somewhere. But that’s a tiny kitten and a mother cat, not a FULL SIZED CAT AND A FUCKING DOG.

Would you pick up a full sized cat by it’s neck/head and dangle it? NO, YOU COULD SERIOUSLY INJURE IT. You’re not even supposed to pick up an adult cat by it’s scruff because at that size you can seriously injure a cat unless you know what you’re doing.

‘We had a dog who used to do this, and the cat didn’t care!’

Look, I’m not about to call you a liar on something like this. Some cats don’t mind roughhousing with dogs, all cats are different. But your anecdotal evidence is NOT a valid defence for people who train their dogs to ‘fetch’ cats for the purpose of making a viral video.

This is like saying ‘well I had a dog who LOVED broccoli!’ in response to someone forcing their healthy dog to become vegan. Your cute and probably innocent family story doesn’t excuse actual abuse being done to real animals in the world.

A cat is not a toy; it’s not a pair of slippers that can be brought to you regardless of their feelings. Saying stuff like this suggests you valued the dog as an intelligent creature and the cat as an object to be toyed with at the whims of others. Your cat, any cat, has the right to be left alone and not forced to be anywhere it doesn’t want to be (within reason, you gotta take your cat to the vet sometime), especially not being dragged around BY IT’S HEAD by a creature 4 times it’s size.

Cats are not dogs. Dogs are not cats. Cats are not PUPPIES. They can absolutely co-exist but larger breeds of dog can also be dangerous to smaller cats just because of their size. A dog does not have human understanding of the world, certainly not a human understanding of cats. What a dog sees as play and being a ‘good doggie’ can be traumatising and uncomfortable for the cat. .

I don’t even want to blame the dogs here. Dogs are innocent. They act on instinct. It is up to humans to shape and guide that behaviour while discouraging antisocial, aggressive or potentially dangerous behaviour. People have to understand that not every action a dog does is considered adorable by nature of them being a dog, nor are those actions automatically safe for other creatures because ‘dogs are cute and gud bois’.

It’s the irresponsible owners who film their dogs doing these things, and then ignorant humans sharing those videos and making them go viral who are to blame here.

PLEASE. Stop promoting and condoning dogs dragging cats around in their mouths as CUTE. It’s not cute. There are millions of perfectly nice cat and dog videos (some with both) featuring animals playing nicely on their own terms. A dog carrying an adult cat* the way it would carry a dead duck or a favourite toy is NOT CUTE.

Also plz stop being a hateful prick if you don’t like cats. If you enjoy seeing cats suffering because ‘dogs are better anyway lol’, the fuck is wrong with you.

*I’m aware there are videos of mother dogs who have taken in kittens and occasionally carry those kittens in their mouths. Again, this is an example of carrying a baby to gently move them from one place to another, it’s not the same as an adult cat with it’s own agency being dragged around by a full sized dog (and being actively encouraged by the owners to do so).

#tw// animal abuse

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superfan0714 · 4 years ago

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SuperJail! Warden x Faythie - First Meeting (Pt 2)

Faythie's body was frozen with shock. Her heart pounded as she and her apprehender soared through the sky, climbing higher and higher towards the clouds. She then started to realize she was being pretty much dragged by her wrist by a mechanical claw at the end of a long robot arm. She gazed up, attempting to get a better look at her apprehender, but she couldn't really, in her panic and shock. She also swore she could hear music playing, something that goes a little like this,

OOOOH, LIFE ON THE OUTSIDE AIN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE (DOO DOO DOO DOOOO)

THE WORLD'S GONE CRAZY AND IT AIN'T SAFE ON THE STREETS

OH, IT'S A DRAG I KNOW, THERE'S ONLY ONE PLACE TO GO

BABY, BACK WHERE I COME FROM, I'M COMING HOME (DOO DOO DOO DOOOOOOOOOO)

The entire while, they were swallowed by the clouds, and then another cloud manifested in the shape of a purple man's head, wearing a purple top hat and yellow glasses. Just then, the man-cloud's mouth opened, and THEY FLEW RIGHT THROUGH IT.

A blinding white light momentarily flashed, then went away. At that time, Faythie could see where she was. There was an ocean, with an island, on that island was a volcano, on top of the volcano was another volcano, on top of the other volcano was a tower, which on top of that had a facility that looked like a correctional facility.

They flew closer and closer, and just as they were about to seemingly crash right into that tower, the apprehender dropped her over the second volcano! Time seemed to slow down for Faythie, shutting her eyes. She was certain she was going to die. Just then, a cuckoo clock bird popped out of nowhere (actually, from that tower) and swallowed her whole!

She slid down literal slides, just like the tubular slides at playgrounds, silent-screaming all the way. Then, she landed in a white hallway. Just completely pitch-white.

A little ways down, there was a door in the side of the hallway. She decided to go open it, because she still thought she was going to die anyway, so screw it, she figured.

She opened it, and there was a room that looked like an office. She stepped inside, and the room was so brightly and psychedelic-ly decorated, her eyes felt like they were going to melt right out of her skull (which may just literally happen in this new place). There was a desk in front of a large window overlooking the prison complex. There was a swivel chair behind the desk, and she noticed it was turned so the back was facing her. Just then, a man's voice spoke from the chair, high-pitched and kinda whiny.

"Welcome to SuperJail!", the voice greeted in a very cheery and friendly tone.

The chair swiveled around to face her, revealing a sharply-dressed man. He grabbed his cane that was leaning on his desk, and leapt up onto it, pointing the cane at her.

The man was at least slightly taller than her (not counting the desk), was lanky and had long and thin limbs, had pale skin, a round head, and had short and spiky black hair. He was wearing a long-sleeved yellow dress shirt, a purple tailcoat, purple dress pants, a red cummerbund, black gloves, black pointed-at-the-toe (like a stereotypical Christmas elf) dress shoes, a red bowtie, a purple top hat with a red ribbon around the base, and large round yellow glasses (his eyes visible behind them, but you couldn't see his eye color). Like, the lenses were actually yellow. His cane had a black shaft with a gold top. And to top it all off, the thing that stood out to Faythie the most, was his tooth gap right in the middle of the top part of his mouth. Like, at least one tooth was missing completely. He was.. kinda cute to Faythie.

He took his hat off, pulled rainbows out of it, and joyfully exclaimed, "I'm the Warden, and you're a criminal!", laughing like he was on something. His face fell when he realized just then that Faythie appeared be a woman, and if that was the case, therefore wasn't supposed to be there.

"Jailbot! Alice! Jared!", the Warden called out. Almost instantly, three figures came into the room. A man, a woman, and a robot. Faythie immediately recognized the robot. It was the one who apprehended (is it even right to say that, considering that she actually didn't do anything illegal?) her at the movie set and dragged her here.

Jailbot was the robot. His job was to apprehend new inmates for the prison, take them to the prison, and do other tasks around the prison. He was a large, levitating, tombstone-shaped robot, with a dot-matrix screen on his "head", normally displaying a green ":]" (except horizontal with no quotation marks).

Alice was the woman. Her job was the prison guard/corrections officer. She was tall and muscular, wore a uniform with two shades of blue, wore pink and red glasses (her eyes not visible), had a beauty mark on her face, scarlet red hair in a ponytail with a pink hair tie, and wore red lipstick and nail polish.

Jared was the man. His job was the accountant, the only notary public in SuperJail, and sometimes the Warden's assistant. He was short, had a large forehead, had brown hair with a long shaggy brown mustache, and wore a brown suit with a yellow dress shirt and a blue necktie. He looked very anxious and was sweating.

The Warden sat back down at his desk, and the other three took their places near the Warden.

"Jailbot, I think you might have caught a woman! This is a men's prison!", the Warden exclaimed. Jailbot's screen changed to that of surprise and confusion. Then he turned his attention to Faythie, "What's your name, newcomer? Is this your first time or are you a repeat offender?", he asked her.

Faythie was sweating now, too. She had no voice. How was she going to answer that? Just then, she remembered that, for some reason, she had put her dry erase boards and markers and the storyboards and script in her coat, right before Jailbot snatched her up. She could prove her innocence and go home! (...Right?) But how was she going to get it out of her coat without them thinking it was a weapon or something? She decided she was going to risk it, and opened the side of her coat, and SHOW everyone else first. Everyone was staring at her.

She pulled her dry erase board and marker out and wrote, "My name is Faythie. I can't speak. I lost my voice from singing in a concert a few days ago.", then showed it to everyone. Everyone nodded in understanding, and the Warden even looked at her, intrigued, perhaps even slightly... sympathetic to her.

She then took her coat and hat completely off, proving by her hair and figure that she was a woman. Faythie saw a look of... interest in the Warden's eyes, if you catch my drift.

Jared then spoke up, "Then if she's a woman, she's not supposed to be here! She was supposed to be picked up by Nova and taken to the Mistress's UltraPrison!"

Warden asked, "What are you in for, anyway, my dear?", he asked Faythie almost seductively. Jailbot displayed footage of the purse snatching he had somehow gotten. "I see.", the Warden replied thoughtfully.

Faythie shook her head, and retrieved her script and storyboards from her coat, and handed them to the Warden. Warden looked at them, and his face looked... disappointed and sad, and his tone reflected that. "Well, it appears she's not actually a criminal. She was just acting in a movie. Phooey, I though we had a new friend...". Faythie wasn't going to lie, she actually felt bad for him. Meanwhile, Jailbot changed his screen to an apologetic "sorry" face. Warden continued apologetically, "I'm sorry, Faythie. It appears my Jailbot couldn't tell if you were a man or woman, and couldn't tell that that was a movie you were filming. Please forgive him.", he said, getting weirdly physically close to her.

Faythie smiled and nodded, and Warden and Jailbot looked relieved.

"It IS getting rather late...", the Warden stated, scheming. "Maybe you should spend the night and Jailbot will take you home tomorrow."

Faythie communicated on her whiteboard, "But I don't have anywhere to sleep, anything to eat for dinner, or any PJs or anything."

Warden waved his hand dismissively. "Nonsense! We will provide that for you."

Faythie smiled gratefully, and that actually made the Warden smile dreamily and goofily back. He thought she was so beautiful and dreamy! He'd be daydreaming about her for a while!

And little did anyone know, Faythie's decision to spend the night would forever change her and the Warden's lives, as well as forever change SuperJail! and Guasanovia, and the lives of all of their residents.

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halitophobia · 5 years ago

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Blind Eye - Two

Parings ⟶ OC x Hank’s Daughter! Reader (TEMPORARILY) , RK800! Connor x Hank’s Daughter! Reader (EVENTUALLY)

A/N ⟶ Thank you so, so much for the notes from the first chapter ! Btw, I’m really sorry this is a little late. I’m hoping for late weekly chapters? Every 10ish days or so...(I’ve gotten super busy, but I’m trying my best!)

Disclaimer ⟶ still don't own any characters from DBH

Warnings ⟶ swearing, violence, mentions of death, stubborn reader, stubborn Hank, spoilers...?, slow burn, sLoW bUrN, SLOW BURN, alcohol abuse (Hankster), angst, toxic relationship, eventual....fluff, happiness, cute stuff, flustered Connor, flustered Reader, all the gushy-ness, and ?????smut?????

Word Count ⟶ 3023

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

----

NOV 6th, 2038

AM 12:41:04

"Why'd you kill him?"

"What happened before you took that knife?"

Pursing your lips and narrowing your eyes, you watch the HK400 through the one-way glass. Your arms are crossed, face still as marble except for the bouncing of your right leg.

"Anderson. Are you cold or having a muscle spasm."

You blink, glancing down at the one and only Gavin Reed's hands leant on the desk, but as quickly as you do, your eyes are glued back to the window.

"Let's make a bet. Like the good ol' days, yeah?" that same sandpaper voice sounds again, making you frown.

"I say," he pauses, "they had a bromance. Carlos and Andy over here." he gestures to the android. "Carlos brings home this smokin' hot 'robette' babe wanting a steamy, squeaky threesome. Attic boy gets mad and," his right arm comes up, and he stabs the air while pulsing to a beat of 'nn-s, nn-s, nn-s...', "...kills'em." So many things I didn't miss about working here...

That fowl scent of sweat, old leather, and cheese also known as Gavin wafts your way, and you do your best not to gag. I mean, does this hobo shower? Wash his hands after shitting? A loud bang draws your attention to Hank, who's clearly gotten frustrated.

"Fuck it. I'm outta here." he grumbles, entering the observation room seconds later.

You slowly clap watching him scowl at you.

"I'm impressed, Pops. You really stated your ground in there." you nod, earning a chuckle from Gavin. "My turn." you smile, and scurry out of the room. You hear Hank's voice yelling at you to come back, but you're already halfway through the door to the interrogation room.

The droid doesn't move an inch as you shut the door behind you. You grin, feeling a wave of déjà vu wash over you. You've done this plenty of times before. How hard can a life-sized moving Barbie doll be?

"Alright, you piece o' shit." you can physically sense your father slapping his face behind the glass.

"I'm gonna jump right into it, okay? Okay." you drop yourself into the chair across from it, leaning back and crossing your arms and legs. "I don't know how it works in your...command center up there, but you gotta tell us what happened."

You watch it avoid your gaze. A painful silence dances around you, only to make your skin crawl with frustration. You swing your leg back over and let it drop below you. Your arms come onto the table and you lean down, to get into its view.

"Pssst. I'm not leaving until you spill." you whisper, staring into its eyes even though it doesn't return the contact. You push back abruptly and revert to a normal volume, "So we can just skip all this," you motion between the both of you, "and you can obey, like a good little bot."

Immediately, you see the change of energy from the suspect. Your brows lift, amused at the reaction. "Oh? Not into the whole submissive thing? I can see you got mad there. If that's even possible."

It shifts again, seeming to get more worked up. This is perfect, you just need to push it around. No better way to let off some steam.

"You wrote 'I AM ALIVE' on the wall, like a jewelled crown atop Ortiz's lifeless head. That's what he said to make you upset, right? You were quoting him? Because, well...I mean, how on earth could you think of that? You aren't capable of...thinking for yourself." you wait, and decide to amp it up. "For all we know, that man was innocent. Just enjoying his life, wanting...a friend? And you come along? To do what? To stab him."

There's a warning knock from the other side of the glass. You brush it off and examine the android. Chest heaving, hands clenched and jaw rippling. The lips on its face quiver, words just waiting to break the dam. And without looking back, you chimmy-changa your way across the line.

"Twenty. Eight. Times."

You hear the tapping once again, more urgent, but still, you ignore it. Can you shut up? You're a millisecond away from confession and they choose to cut you know? Your old man probably wants to slip in and take credit.

You're brought back to your senses as you watch the scene in front of you. The battered automaton is now writhing under the chords which bolt is slowly lifting off the table. "Hey, hey, hey. No need to cause a scene. Suck it up, and tell me wh-" your vision goes black. Well fuck me...

The second your sight leaves, it's back but doubled. Your forehead throbs, as if a pump were behind your eyes. That motherfucking thing head-butted you. You can't help the weight sloshing around your brain, making your head pound harder. You move to stand, but stumble into the wall behind you. Get. Up.

You feel arms hook under yours, and start to get dragged towards the door. "Get off of me!" you snap.

Your view seeps back into HD and you ignore the sting in your head. "I'm fine! Let me finish this!" your voice is a harsh growl, and you lash around in the person's grasp.

Who is this anyway?

Then you smell it. Oh. Reed tightens his grip, practically lifting you from your waist, and before you know it, your dropped into a computer chair facing the interrogation room. Just as you start to collect yourself, another smack is planted on your skull.

Okay what the fuck.

"Ow."

An ice pack falls off your shoulder and into your lap. Wow, do I get a massage too?

"Nice going, Y/N." Hank spits.

You roll your eyes, pressing them into the ice pack. With your voice muffled, you reply with 'thank you'.

"No, I really mean it. You just jeopardized this whole cross-examination. You brought that thing near to self-destruction!"

Your brain is hoola-hooping within your skull and this ancient dick lecturing you is just hollering encouragement.

"Y/N, take this seriously. You really fucked up." Gavin chimes in.

Oh give me a break.

You groan loudly, hoping it'll make them stop. You really don't need this. You just need five quiet minutes, and you can go back in and get that confession. Easy-peasy.

"Earth to Y/N. You may have been bumped in there, but I know damn-well you can hear me." Hank aggressively taps your shoulder and the water in the pot just boils away.

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

You're fully turned around, eyes ablaze with fire. You're cooking both men alive from your eyes and the pain from your head disappears for a moment. A silent breath escapes your parted lips, and you almost whisper.

"Will you, shut up."

The air is thick as fog. Your sight clogged with angry-exhaustion, their's with vigilance, for they now tread on very thin ice.

"My name is Conner, what about you. What's your name?"

You're. KIDDING.

Spinning your chair right around, you're faced with an image of pure disaster. Sir Smiley-Bot is seated across from the HK400.

"You let the fucking android interrogate the fucking android!"

It hasn't even been twenty minutes and for the second time, you're blood is racing around your body like a jet. Running circuits in and out of your shrinking heart. Does no one have common sense in this fucking facility?

"What do we have to lose, Y/N. You've already ruined a proper examination, what's so different in sending in the thing?"

Hank's voice destroys every sense of calm in your veins. You're going fucking bonkers now. It's like they worship this brown-haired robot. Prancing around its steel feet, praying to the android gods above. You've come to a conclusion; you are officially the only sane human in this police division. Everyone's brains are being melted by the second and they'll all just become slaves for the androids. Yup, I’ve solved the case.

"Shh, shh, shut up. Listen." Gavin lays his hand on your right shoulder, which you quickly brush off.

"I was fucking breathing."

He replies with a grimy finger to his lips, staring forward. You sulk in the chair, intertwining your fingers atop the desk. The ice pack is balanced on your head and you stare forward. King-Droid seems to be calming the defendant down. Seriously?

"I could have easily calmed the thing down, this isn't all that fantastic." you scoff, adjusting the cooling pack.

Hank flicks your head in response. It sure shuts you up. I am getting favoured over a bottle cap. I leave for one year and all of Detroit's been fucked in the ass by Alexa, Google Home, and Cortana at the same time. This is absolute bullshit. Choosing these things? Over trusted humans? This is surely humanity's last stra-

"No!"

...come again?

"No, please don't do that!"

All three of you are now leant toward the glass, your nose virtually pressed on it. All that stupid popcan had to do was threaten to probe its memory ooooh spooky!

"What..."

A beautifully awkward sound of leather, wood, and the chair squeal in harmony as your trio incline forward again. If it weren't for the one-way glass, there would be three sources of breath in their own designated spots.

"What are they going to do to me?"

Baby bye, bye, bye, BYE BYE.

"They're going to destroy me, aren't they?" its voice is in a panicked hiss.

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

"They're going to disassemble you to look for problems in your biocomponents. They have no choice if they want to understand what happened."

This goes on for a little while, the honoured golem teetering between comfort and warning. You just watch soundlessly, intrigued for the outcome. Cold droplets trickle down your neckline, for the pack on your head had started to melt. You can't resist the urge to shiver, swiftly wiping away the excess water.

Your attention is slowly dispersing and you're starting to lose interest. You notice your stomach grumble - right, you'd forgotten to eat before all of this. Come to think of it, you're starving. Your gut agrees and wails to you again.

"Shh!" Gavin jeers.

Oh please.

You start to lift onto your feet, wanting to grab a snack, but are interrupted by a voice that has been heard to the very minimal. Seriously though, vending machine cashews would kill right about now...

"He tortured me everyday..."

Your ass is stapled back into the chair, holding your tongue as its mouth finally starts to move. You listen intently, watching the emotions.

You're amazed at how...real these androids look. This...suspect. Its..his eyes were saying something. His face held...pain. The way he says he was scared makes your breath falter. For a moment, you could really believe they're humans...with their own lives...own problems.

But your eyes move to the annoying one and the funky lighted circle gives it away.

Connor no, that hurt to say... asks more questions. And that's when you feel shivers crawl up your spine, vertebrae by vertebrae. The dark-skinned bot falls into a trance, speaking of ra9. Claiming it will save them all...that they'll no longer be slaves. You swallow hard, feeling regretful...and alarmed. You blink. You never know what these two could be doing in there.

"What if they're secretly communicating to each other? Through their...biocompo-nents...? you ask under your breath.

"As if. They can't mind...speak." the brunette scoffs behind you.

"Yeah? And how would you know." you bark back.

You're interrupted by Hank, smacking both of you.

The RK800 turns its head toward the mirror; harsh and precise. "I'm done."

You jolt up. Goosebumps on your skin, hairs on your arms standing tall and attentive. That interrogation gave me the creeps...

All three of you flood out the main door, heading to the one just a foot away. Officer Chris Miller tags along who you literally hadn’t noticed until he cleared his throat, preparing to move the aberrant. No...that's just weird to say. Suddenly, the room feels a lot smaller. Six of you is six too many.

"Chris, lock it up." Gavin commands gruffly. You notice how he eyes the RK800, the model obviously ignoring his warning.

Officer Miller detatches it from the table, but it jerks from his grasp. Your eyes narrow and you lean against the door, feeling drowned from the new energy in the space. Like defusing a ticking bomb.

Gavin interjects aggressively, hassling Chris to move it. You watch awkwardly as they struggle, both of them pulling completely opposite ways. You push off from the wall, starting to get impatient.

"You're making this harder than it has to be." you state, trying to get its attention.

Gavin yells once again, only to get the same in return. Your childish ass chimes in, telling Reed to back down, and now it's just a trio of toddlers crying for their candy. You're telling the cheese-smelling douche to hold his temper, while he's bitching about being tired. Chris yells at both of you two shut up when you notice the thing across you grab the officer's gun.

Fuck.

In less than a second, blue...blood has coloured the ceiling. The HK400 is crumpled on the floor, gun laying loosely amoung its fingertips. Nothing stirs in all six of you. Your lungs have paused, muscles and eyes too. Your gaze is cemented on the one now pressed to the ground. The eyes still and wide like any other human lying dead. It stares off into another realm, mouth frozen in time, halfway through an inhale.

This is what you forgot about. This part of the job. This raw, ferocious beast that gnaws at your gut. Chewing, ripping, tearing your meat agonizingly slow. Always hungry, always eating away at you.

"Holy shit."

You whip your head at your father, revolted that the same words escaped his mouth...at the same time.

----

AM 1:34:48

Gulping down two pills of ibuprofen, you stare at Hank talking with his plastic buddy. You're leant against his desk, fiddling around with his pens and sticky notes. You sigh as you feel someone slide up next to you.

"How've you been, fucker. You looked like shit walking into the building cuffed. 'Thought you were the one being arrested."

The grey-eyed dickwad chuckles at his comment, anticipating your snarky retort.

"Reed, I'm not in the mood." you grumble, wiping your eyes with the underside of your fingers.

You can sense his frown and disappointment. There's a small pause, but sure enough, he doesn't leave you alone.

"Another fight with Ben?"

Your stomach inverts and you feel the need to throw up. "Excuse me?"

He raises his hands defensively. "Woah, woah. Just asking. You just always seem to be having problems with that guy."

"Where did you get this from, huh?" you threaten.

"Last time I saw you, you were whinging about him on the phone. You weren't being discrete."

Sure...you weren't, but that doesn't mean he had the right to listen. He's a nosy, intrusive, grumpy old prick and you have never felt so disgusted in his presence.

"Stay out of my life, Reed. You have no right to ask me that. You have no right to assume things about me, and you have no right to be a...fucking asshole!"

"That last one isn't even-"

You slapped him.

There's a sliver of regret, but your choler has clouded your mind. Do I have anger issues?

Next thing you know, Hank is lecturing you about having manners, controlling your actions, thinking before you do, blah blah blah. You've heard this all before, it's like you're thirteen again, getting pestered at for feeding the dog your lasagna. Or cutting off that stupid girl's ponytail. She was a wicked shrew...

Behind Hank, you catch Gavin start to snicker. Absolutely not. You push past the bearded man and start to pummel the brunette's chest. And I mean pummel. Beat. Punch. Slam. Not one giggle leaves his toxic mouth. Poppa tries to pry you off, but he gets an elbow to the nose. Respect your elders, am I right? All this anger...is barely even from Gavin's stupid words. This is the rage from the past two hours. Tonight has been hell. Trudging through disaster after disaster. It's all too much. Your gums start to ache due to the tightness of your jaw. Your hands begin to shake, each blow somehow impacting you. It's like you're just beating up yourself.

A pair of arms wrap around your sore body, ripping you from your poor...punching bag. Gavin's face is already swelling. Black and blue covering his skin. Blood as the cherry on top. He's dead quiet now, breathing heavily as he lays on the ground. But then...you notice Hank on the ground too, blood spilling from his nose. If Hank's on the ground...then that means...

You look down and see grey sleeves, detailed with black and silver. No, no, no, no...

"LET ME GO YOU CLUSTER OF RUSTY NAILS."

"I'm sorry, Detective Anderson, but you need to calm down before I can let you go."

I hate his voice, I hate his voice, I hate his voice...

"I'm calm." your voice like honey flowing over chocolate mousse.

You drop every emotion in your face. All of your tensed muscles fall and you seep into its chest. Its arms fall from your torso. You wait a beat, then completely turn around.

You punch it square in the face.

You watch in delight as its face snaps back. It stumbles, just once, which truly is enough for you. There's a burst of relieve and triumph, followed by a sting and numbness between your knuckles

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, fuck. Fucking fuck. Okay, so worth it, though...

----

#connor x reader #rk800 x reader #dbh #detroit connor #dbh x reader #detroit become human #detroit connor x reader #connor #rk800 #dbh connor #hank anderson #hank x connor #hank's daughter #bryan dechart

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madlymiho · 6 years ago

Text

Ooooh ~ someone is dirty here hehehehe ;)

Yas my love, I CAN, I WILL, I'M SOOOO HAPPY YOU ASK FOR A SCENARIO

So... Let me put my favorite warning and jump aboard the train of sins

Warning : HEAVY NSFW

Crocodile scenario :

He hears her walking in the corridor next to his bedroom-office. He always recognizes her. Always that determined pace and her heels taping the floor like she could break it. She seems in a hurry, as usual. That damn girl. There's something annoying about her, but he doesn't know what it is. Crocodile sighs and looks back at his newspapers. He doesn't have time for her, so he strongly hopes she wouldn't dare interrupt his reading. If she does, though, he would remind her what he thinks about her impudence.

She slams the doors open and walks in the office-bedroom like she owns the world. She wears her everlasting high waist leather skirt and her green blouse with golden buttons to close it. Her hair are tied with a ponytail, and she furiously pushes her round glasses onto her nose. She throws a few documents on Crocodile's desk and he has no choice but to look at her.

"What do you want? I'm busy," he says in an emotionless voice.

"So do I, Sir Crocodile, but it seems your figures are wrong once again and I can't work like this."

He doesn't answer right away and just stares at her for a moment. Then, he sighs and looks back at his newspaper, his eyes already looking for the article he was previously reading.

"Not my problem, /name/. I didn't hire you to hear you whine,"

"Not your problem, big boy?" She rips his daily from his hands and throws it away. "This is your business! It's your problem!"

She points at his chest, a hand on her hip. He just can't believe it. Now he's really pissed off. He slowly stands on his feet and skirts his desk to come right in front of her. She needs to lift her head to look at him directly, but she doesn't blink though. She even clenches her fist, like she could do something with this tiny thing.

"My problem?" Crocodile repeats, his eyes staring at her like he could actually kill her with them. "You really think you can talk to me like that?"

She nods, crossing her arms around her chest.

"Oh, I can. And I will. You lead your business like a goddamn child. I thought you would be a little bit smarter than the others. Guess I was wrong?"

He walks slowly and she has no choice but to step backwards. She seems a bit nervous, however, she doesn't apologize for her words. Crocodile keeps walking towards her.

"No one can speak to me like this, /name/, no one."

She smirks for a second, preparing herself for a comeback, but she freezes instead, feeling the cool wall against her spine. Crocodile raises an eyebrow and smile with all his teeth. She's trapped like an animal in front of a bigger hunter. Her breathing is erratic and her expression is nothing but anger and bitterness. For a second, he thinks that he has never properly looks at her before. She's kinda cute when she's enraged. Her eyebrows are furrowed, her cheeks slightly pink as her nose is pointing at him. Her fleshy lips are slightly parted and for a moment, Crocodile feels the urge to bite them until she bleeds out and screams for him. And his look keeps coming down, attracted by something else, observing her graceful neck, to finally enjoy the vision of her round and inviting breasts. She's no longer cute for him. She's really appealing. But before he could appreciate the view, she gasps and raises her hand, trying to slap his cheek. He immediately grabs it and looks back at her furious face.

"What do you think you are doing, /name/?"

The atmosphere is entirely different. She's no longer angry : she's clearly embarrassed. He feels she's not confident anymore. He has just gotten the upper hand. She's a toy between his hands and she knows it. And yet, she doesn't run. She's pinned against the wall, panting, waiting. She could have run already. Yet, she remains still. Crocodile smirks. Without any warning, he uses his hook to rip-off the buttons of her blouse. She gasps and tries to cover her exposed breasts hidden with a beautiful dark bra, but Crocodile slaps her hand away and immediately grabs them. He presses one of her breast with his hand, teasing her nipple through the fabric, as he comes closer, his mouth near her ear.

"Figures, right? You're a lying little girl, aren't you?"

She quivers and closes her eyes as she tries to pronounce his name. He massages her breast mercilessly as he feels his groin getting harder.

"I'm going to show you how I deal with my business, /name/. I'm going to take you, right now. I don't even need to check. I know you are already wet for me, mh?"

"Fuck off, seriously..." She manages to answer, her cheeks burning.

As she talks, he uses his hook to grab the bottom of her skirt and lift it up to expose her panties. She doesn't protest, her lips still parted as she can't answer anymore. He slides his own trousers and his underwears down, grabbing his length and giving himself a few strokes even if he's hard as hell. He takes off his shoes and his socks and demands her to imitate him. She harshly swallows her spite, but for once, she obeys him. Then, he slides his hand between her thighs and smirks brightly, pushing her panties down. He lifts her easily and immediately pushes his manhood between her legs, ignoring her painful moan. He's big, he knows it, but he doesn't care if she's adjusted to him or not. He thrusts in her, good and hard, her body pressed against the wall. He loves to feel her like this, under his power as she can't help but moan any time he fills her entirely.

"Crocodile...," she hums, panting, her legs circling his waist.

"This is good, right? You love it when I'm taking you like this. Say it, baby doll...Say you want more,"

"I'd rather die." She answers, clenching her nails into his back.

Oh, she's still playing. She's not entirely under his control, but he gots time. The entire night if he wants. He turns on his feet, still holding her, his length buried deeply inside of her, as they crash on the bed. With his hand, he opens his legs a little bit more, his pace strong and powerful. He feels her quivering, her breathing crashing onto his face like a delicious fire. She's a damn mess, but she handles him so well. Anytime she makes eye contact with him, he smirks and takes her harder, the room now fulfilled with lusty sounds of their flesh in collision. She can't hide it anymore now ; she's desperately excited. Her fingers are sliding down on her belly, and he knows exactly what she's looking for. He takes her wrist and put her hand over her head, his mouth brushing her neck until he marks her with his teeth.

"Oh, what are you doing now, /name/?"

"You're so..."

He smirks, his lips still on her skin, as he softly raises his chin to look at her in the eyes. His pace is awfully slow. He takes his time to bury himself inside of her.

"What do you want?" He whispers as he bites her bottom lip.

This is the only time he allows himself to touch her lips with his owns.

"No...Nothing." She snaps with anger.

Crocodile thrusts a little bit slower once again. He feels her all body impatient as her eyes are nothing but a ravenous fire. To tease her, he softly slides his hand between their body, until he brushes over her sensitive clit. She moves desperately under his touch, her body chasing its own pleasure, yet he doesn't offer her what she desperately wants.

"You want me to touch you here, right?"

He thrusts slowly, watching her eyes, waiting for her reaction. She bites her bottom lip and shakes her head.

"I...Crocodile...Please"

He smirks, then presses his fingers against her clit, slowly rubbing it. She tries to hide her moan, digging her teeth in his shoulder, but the lovely sound is clearly audible. He wants her to beg, so he stops everything and pushes her head away, putting it back on the pillow.

"Bad, bad girl... You're not in position of asking for anything. You take what I give."

He starts to increase his pace, knowing perfectly how sadistic it is. She furrowed her eyebrows and gasps, her legs shaking under him. She wants to come so hard, yet he won't allow it. He plays with his pace. Slow, then strong, then quick. She doesn't know her own name anymore. Crocodile pushes her bra to reveal her tits, and then sucks on her nipple harshly. He loves to feel her hands digging in his hair, pulling on them, her nails scratching his skull.

"Crocodile...Please..."

He smirks and bites her nipple as he strongly thrusts inside of her.

"Please...Please...," she begs, slowly losing her mind under his ministrations.

"Beg for it," he commands with a husky voice. "Beg, or I give you nothing."

She presses her lips together as she knows she couldn't fight anymore. She feels her clit swollen, ready, pumping, and no one is touching it.

"Please! Make me come! Please, I can't...I need...I-"

She can't even finish her sentence, she's already flipped on her belly. Crocodile uses his hand and his hook to make her lift her ass, just for him. He adjusts himself behind her and violently thrusts back in her core. She grips the sheet and moans loudly. She knows how much he enjoys it right now. This new position, this new angle, it's so damn good.

"You like it?" He asks as he slaps her butt mercilessly.

"Y..Yes!"

"What, only one little word coming from your mouth?"

He put a finger on her lips, pressing her to suck on it, her neck painfully pushed backwards. She accepts it and opens her mouth, her tongue playing with it. Even if he has stamina, this is getting way too hot for him. As he keeps thrusting hard, he takes his finger out of her mouth and immediately presses it onto her sensitive clit. She gasps, putting her forehead on the pillow, her groans way more louder. He knows she's close. He doesn't torture her any longer, he rubs her clit strongly, his pace quick and perfectly mastered. She's totally a mess between his hands. He massages her sensitive button until he feels her core almost swallowing his entire length, becoming tighter. She comes with the most beautiful sounds he has ever heard, her legs unable to hold her anymore. He doesn't last long, and with a final powerful thrust, he reaches his own pleasure and comes violently with a groan.

Still panting, she releases herself from his grip and falls on the bed. He plasters his dark hair back on his skull as he stares at her half-undressed body. It was intense, incorrect and violent. But hell, it was damn good. As their eyes meet, she blushes and turns his head, avoiding his look.

"Don't you have work?" He teases with a smirk as he reaches the bedside table to grab a cigar. "I thought my figures were wrong."

She gasps, pushing him away and jumps out of the bed. She tries to rebutton her blouse, but Crocodile has entirely destroyed them. Angry, she takes her panties back on the floor and offers him her best "I hate you" look.

"I swear, I'm going to quit."

He smiles and lights his cigar, shamelessly looking at her small body he has just ravaged, his length still exposed.

"Only if you beg for it, baby-doll."

She blushes furiously and starts to walk out of the room. Before she slams the door, he perfectly pictures that little smile of her, at the corner of her lips. He pushes his back against the pillows and smokes on his cigar.

"Interesting," he whispers with a huge Machiavellian smile. "Very interesting."

#one piece scenarios #one piece hc #one piece headcanons #sir crocodile #crocodile #this is a sin #i need holy water

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fandom-wars-imagine-blog · 6 years ago

Note

UT UF and mafiafell sans + US and SF papyrus (i think its 5 the limit?) when they hear a sneeze for the first time? It's from their crush or S/O and it is the cutest little kitten sneeze EVER.

(well I sound like a man when I sneeze-)

UT!Sans:

Here where you live, winter can be really rough for everyone, even for its inhabitants, so it is perfect for the monsters that lived in Snowdin, it makes them feel closer to their old land and less homesick.

Since that you have a relationship with Sans, you hang out a lot in his house in winter. It’s so warm and cozy! Much more than you rented apartment.

And his brother is such a sweetheart! He cooks for you every time you go to their house and you don’t have to move one single muscle. You are their guest after all.~

However, one of the many problems you have to face in the winter is the famous colds. Being you a very touchy person, you always catch at least one cold at this season. Poor you.

It’s the first cold you have since you date Sans and he got very worried about you. Are you sick? Is it dangerous? There is any cure? Please tell him you aren’t going to die!!

“No, Sans, I am not going to die”

You explain to him what exactly a cold is and that there’s nothing to worry about. It’s not dangerous or mortal, but it’s very contagious, so it’s better if he and his brother keep the distance until you’re better. You don’t know who dangerous human diseases can be for monsters. Better safe than sorry.

Of course, they’ll do exactly the opposite. You are sick! They can just stay away from you and wait until “you’re better”! They’re going to help you heal faster, even if you want it or not! Now, tell the great Papyrus what to cook for a human with a cold!

Sans is still a bit worried about you, but since you are taking your medicine, he guesses it’s okay.

You are watching TV in his house, his brother out for his first training in the gym with Undyne, when you sneeze for the first time beside him. He gets alarmed and quickly looks at you.

Oh Gosh, are you getting worse?? Do you need something?? Is that normal?? Do you need a doctor?? He can get Alphys right now!! Do you need her??

You don’t get it, why is acting like that with a sneeze, you explained to him what a cold ar- ooooh, you didn’t tell him the symptoms of it.

Ok, your bad.

You tell him what a sneeze is and how normal is to sneeze when someone has a cold. It’s your body trying to help itself, so there’s nothing to worry about.

He calms down and watches you sneeze again. An urge to laugh appears in his chest, if that is a sneeze, is the cutest thing he ever heard, it’s perfect for you. He doesn’t laugh though, maybe you can get offended-

Then you sneeze again, and again, and again. Oh no, it’s a sneeze attack! Despite trying to not laugh even if the urge is rising, Sans’ love is defeated and he bursts of laughter, telling sorry to you internally.

You immediately realize why he’s laughing. He’s making fun of you! This always happens! In spite of start telling him off, you are interrupted by another sneeze, sending your boyfriend to another wave of incessant laughter, wheezing and crying.

You get mad and start hitting him with the sofa pillow, only for him to laugh even more. HOW DARE HE?

The hitting gets stronger and speedy and instead of taking it, Sans grasps the pillow, sending it to the corner of the room, and hugs you tightly, kissing your cheek while giggling.

You continue to tell him off, but give up sooner than expected and accept the half cuddling half joking, huffing at the situation.

Oh man, you really are something else, aren’t you?

US!Papyrus:

You. Hate. SUMMER.

REALLY, WHY GOD HAD TO GIVE HUMANS SUCH SEASON?

SWEATY PEOPLE, UNBEARABLE HEAT, MOSQUITOES EVERYWHERE!

HHHHHHHH YOU HATE SUMMER SO MUCH.

But your friend seems to disagree, surprisingly.

Papyrus never really liked the cold temperature in Snowdin. His hoody is warm, but not that much, and his only source of heat in Snowdin was Muffet’s and his house, so this warmth is always welcomed around his bones.

Besides, his brother can only use the baby pool in the summer. So, no grumpy attitude, you don’t want to bother the cinnamon roll, do you?

“*huffs* Alright, no complaining.”

Good human.

Unfortunately, your house is pretty hot in the summer, so you decided to provide yourself, after saving a lot, a

*beats the drums*

Air conditioner!

YES, THE SOLUTION OF ONE OF YOUR PROBLEMS IN SUMMER.

YAAAYYY?????

Well, at least the house is fresh now as well as your will to live in the summer.

Now it’s bearable to live on this planet.

One day, you are taking the cooling from the AC by being directly in front of it. You regret nothing, not even the flu you caught, it felt like heaven.

Papyrus is looking through the window to the backyard, catching the sun’s warmth while watching Sans playing with your cousin, Chara, in the green grass of the backyard.

Papyrus looks at you. Your eyes closed while appreciating the cool air from the machine, your hair fluttering graciously.

He looks at the window again. What he wouldn’t give to have the courage to ask you out…

Suddenly, his thoughts are cut short by a strange noise. It’s unknown to him what it was, but it sounded like a baby animal, like…like a kitten.

He gets pretty confused with this, it couldn’t have been Sans, he doesn’t do that type of sound. So, what it was? You have a kitten in your backyard and told him anything? How could you, you know he loves animals!

You catch Papyrus looking for something at the opened door beside the window he was standing. It looks like he is searching for something in the backyard. But what?

You ask him what happened and he tells you that he heard something very strange, something he never heard before. He’s searching for the source of it, it can be a lost baby animal or something.

You get concerned with it, did someone just dropped a baby in your backyard and ran way the last night? How cruel! You will fucking kill that perso-

Your concerns get interrupted by another sneeze and Papyrus looks at you, shocked. YOU WERE THE SOURCE.

BUT, BUT HOW??

IT IS POSSIBLE FOR A HUMAN TO DO SUCH SOUND????

Your eyes meet his face and you automatically understand why he’s so shocked. A playful, more for teasing, tone plays in your vocal cords.

“Was this what you heard?”

He nods with his head, quite perplexed. You knew it. A soft laugh makes its way out of your mouth.

You explain to him that what he heard was a sneeze and what it is. You don’t get mad at him. There’s no reason to get mad at him for thinking that it was a baby animal, he never heard a sneeze before…and you’re pretty aware of your “situation”.

The sneezes are definitely due to you being in front of the air conditioner, so you stand up before you catch a cold and go get some ice creams for the two of you.

Papyrus looks again to the backyard, blushing with a puppy love smile in his face.

If only you knew how cute you are…

UF!Sans:

Papyrus was never a person of peace, when you met him, he was beating the crap up of some insolent drunks who treated him bad for being a monster.

You can’t believe there are still people like that in the world. What is this? The dark age? Hello?! Wake up! If you don’t want monsters near you, move to other planet or something. Or at least say nothing to them, they don’t care about you anyway.

A burning flame quickly light up between the two of you and quickly died in both your souls, the ashes are the only thing that was left, and after almost killing each other like madmen, you decide to still being friends despite everything that happened.

Gosh, he can be a true asshole sometimes, y'know.

But at least the relationship was long enough for you to meet his family: his brother Sans.

Seems nothing like Papyrus at all, not just for the looks, but for the humor and…well… behavior at all.

You gotta admit, he’s less asshole than his brother.

Soon enough, you turned up to be good friends at the skelebros, like everyone in town called them, and trusted them with your whole being, just like they do to you too.

As I said, Papyrus was never a person of peace, and this time he just got himself into a hole as deep as the Underground entrance:

Gangs fight.

Don’t even ask me how he did it, he just got caught in the middle for not shutting up when he should.

This afternoon he’s going to solve this for once and for all, probably fighting with the other dumbasses with the help of Undyne or something.

Let’s be clear, he’s strong, but not enough for 20 guys each side, alright?

And instead of asking you to fight with him too, so you can beat the shit out of Billy, that motherfucker, he asked you to stay home with his brother so if someone tries to force their way in you will stop them and protect Sans.

Because the little brother doesn’t trust the other enough to be alone in the Surface yet.

Like Sans can’t protect himself! He got this big ass skulls called “Gaster Blasters” or whatever and you have to protect him!

Fuck you, Papyrus, fuck you.

At least he’s sleeping at your side while you’re watching Mettaton chase someone with a chainsaw in the Candid Camera.

Out of the blue, you sneeze strongly, waking up Sans who gets startled enough for his red eye to lit up. You sneeze again and he looks at you, scared. It’s just…you? The tornado in his brain calms down and his eye gets off.

He almost had a heart attack because of you! Well…if he had any heart, that is.

But there’s a question that is nagging on the corner of his head.

“What the hell as that sound?”

You look at him, internally surprised that he woke up already. You thought you would have to hit him with his pet rock sooner or later.

“What, never heard a sneeze, butthead?”

He says no, he never heard something like that, but for someone like you, all tough and more alike Papyrus that you would like to admit, it’s the cutest thing he ever heard.

Screams are heard from the TV, but they are not loud enough to cover your cute as well laugh, neither the “fuck you” you give him, turning to the TV again. Jeez, Mettaton really cut that monster in half. Oh, nevermind, it regenerated.

Sincerely? Sans don’t give a shit about humans and their stupid ass behaviors and body reactions. But he remembers what a sneeze sounds like, you know why?

Because he asks you out for the first time that afternoon, right after telling you that “no, I would like to do something else”. Now that is something you never forget.

SF!Papyrus:

He was always a curious monster, very, very curious.

Too curious for his own good.

And when the monsters were freed by some random child, his curiosity grown even more.

He looked like a little kid whose parents gave a new video game console! So much to see and explore! So much he doesn’t know about and wants to meet!

This. Is. HEAVEN.

But one thing that really caught his attention was humans.

How does their body work? What behaviors they have that monsters don’t? Do they grow up and get older like monsters or it’s a different process? What type of food they eat? What-

Alright, Papy, we get it.

Life seemed to smile at the skeleton, as he met the perfect person to answer his questions.

You, a kind human, and later on, his wondrous lover.

You got intimate with each other at the speed of light and very soon you’re both sleeping in the same bed in your house. It’s so good having someone who treats you well and doesn’t agree when you say you’re a failure.

Papyrus isn’t able to sleep tonight, he already turned and turned around in the bed, but it’s away to hot for him to sleep, so he gets up to cool a bit.

While he gets his t-shirt off, he observes you, peacefully in your slumber. You are so lovely, so pretty, and those cheeks are so big that he could bite them all day! 💗

Then he has kind of a crazy question: how humans react to stimulus in their sleep? Is his sleepiness talking or curiosity decided to visit him in such hour at daybreak?

Oh well, is not like he has something better to do…or something to do at all.

He then remembers: you are such an extravagant person, he had seen you amounts of times hearing that blue jacket with feathers.

He remembers when you received that jacket. Hapstablook made it for Napstaton, but he didn’t want to hear that “thing”, like he called it, because it is not his style, so he gave it to you. That way, Hapstablook’s work wasn’t in vain.

And oh shit, you really love that ugly jacket. Why? Who knows.

He goes to your closet and pulls out a feather from the jacket, making the effort to not make any noise so you won’t wake up.

You are such a cute, ticklish person! Maybe you have he can tickle you in your sleep too-

Then he sees you are awake, supporting yourself in your elbow while looking at him with an amused smile.

You just saw him riping out the feather from the jacket….

He’s a dead man, isn’t he?

He tries desperately to explain himself to you. That he didn’t mean to just…screw up the jacket. Fuck the jacket! I mean- ugh, damn the nervousness.

And damn the curiosity for that matter.

You laugh at his expression and tell me he doesn’t have to worry about that, you can just stitch up the feather back. But…

Why the hell he wants that feather?

Truth comes up with a blush in his bones and you laugh once more at all his shy body movement. You make room in the bed for him to sit up. You don’t think you can fall asleep so soon now that you woke up so you two can cuddle or make some small talk to be distracted.

Now that he’s sitting at your side, you take the feather from his hand. You ask him if we want to see something interesting, something that he (probably) has never seen before.

Oh no, what are you planning this time? Do you want curiosity to eat him whole? Was that just a “good person” mask?

Oh man, are you going to beat his ass up?

Instead, you tickle your own nose with the feather and sneeze in front of him.

O. m. g

You swear is eye holes get bigger.

You can easily compare his reaction to the ones you get when you are fangirling over some character on a game. He’s completely marveled by what he just heard.

OMG OMG OMG THAT IS JUST THE MOST ADORABLE THING OVER HE’S SO HAPPY YOU ARE HIS LOVER YOU ARE PERFECT IN EVERY ASPECT HE WANTS TO HOLD YOU BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU AND HUMANS ARE SO INTERESTING AND YOU ARE ONE SO YOU ARE INTERESTING BUT YOU ARE MORE INTERESTING THAN THE OTHER AND-

DO. THAT. AGAIN.

You chuckle at his request and do it again, seeing his mood lifting up everytime you do this.

After all, who needs sleep anyways.

MF!Sans:

Mr. Red is a very busy monster, he doesn’t have time to analyze precisely or even care about insignificant things like the human body or even humans at all.

However, sometimes at some…”works” he has to do, he has to listen very carefully to everything’s around him, so he doesn’t get spotted and knows exactly when to attack.

But sneezes is something he never heard, especially from you.

You are a very quiet thing, that’s for sure. You didn’t choose to be the lover of a Mob, but you didn’t choose as well who fall in love with.

Same for Sans, so many hot, trustfull monsters out there that we could fall in love with and it had to be a human?

Oh God help him.

Nonetheless, you have the incredible ability to support all the shit a life in Mafia brings, so it’s not dangerous bullshit that will make you stay away from your monster.

Silence is the key and Sans knows that. He’s so happy that his soul chose a smart person for him to care about.

And for being quiet, you attend a lot of meetings with him (even if you don’t want too because no way you are staying home alone without him or some security).

This meeting now is on some strange club, you would say that is the typical place to get drugged and fuck some whores without having the problem of taking care of the child after the fun, but Sans is not some junkie you see out there in the streets killing themselves with a needle.

You go to a balcony, a calmer place where cigarette’s smoke fills your lungs. So many men in suits in here, so many family men, so many merciless killers, so many possible targets. Even the employees have another type of aura, so must more sophisticated.

The meeting happens normally, so many things being talked about while you just appreciate the arm around your shoulders silently.

While the meeting is occurring, a waitress passes by the sofa you are sitting on. The feather scarf visits your nose and tickles it softly. You try to stop it from coming, but you are weaker than your own body, so your kitten sneeze exits abruptly your lungs.

You can say with certainty that you scared everyone in the meeting, not for being a scary noise, that it isn’t, but for showing that you actually made a noise. Heck, are you capable of doing noises??

All the eyes in the room are placed on you with perplexed faces, especially your boyfriend.

Yep, not intimidating at all.

You look at them with surprise as well, your blush covered by the dark lights, but end up sneezing again.

Everyone in the start slowly laughing at you, how can a person in the Mafia, especially Mr. Red, date such thing as you? What a little doll you are, what are you doing with a Mob?

Not all bad boys are dateable for people like you.

Sans senses that their laughing is not just because the situation is funny, it’s because they are making fun of you. He sees that you are uncomfortable with it, you didn’t mean it. Not at all.

You look down at the floor, not knowing how to react at all the mean mouths. You date a Mob, you should know who to react, not be embarrassed by it, but...

The laughing starts to calm down. Sans gets up from his seat, oddly relaxed, and looks at everyone in the room with a smile.

“Gentlemen.”

He takes the gun out and shoots everyone in the head, one by one. You don’t even know how no one had the speed to react in time but....they didn’t.

He offers you his hand to get up from the sofa and you take it, getting up and exiting the building with him, his arm around your waist.

You know you should not be surprised by the scene you just watched, but...you are.

You ask him why he did it. It was because you sneezed and they made fun of you? You certainly feel warm for that but he shouldn’t.

He doesn’t answer you, just smirks and take a cigar out of his pocket.

“You know, one of the things that I love in you, it’s your cuteness.”

“Never forget that.”

- mod sheep

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angel-scythe · 6 years ago

Text

Gavin900′s week - Day 2 : I need you (Reverse AU)

Day 02, yeah!

Fun fact, I wrote this after the Day 03. I struggled to find something to do and then that... popped. (And since I wanted to post it in the right order... here we are!)

I hope this is okay for the Reverse AU theme...

Summary? Niles Stern is depressed since a moment. Really depressed. Whatever Connor, his twin, tries to do, that doesn’t work. So, one day, he brings him back an Android. A special Android....

It wasn’t really the good day to write it but I’m happy with how that turns out. I almost want to dig in it.

Anyway, if you want read it on AO3, feel free to smash that doo ( > | °| < ) or keep reading it just above?

Have an awesome day <3

Like every day, Niles was at home. Everything was messy around him. You could see magazine and newspapers all around the floor, though a lot of them when even unwrapped. He stopped to read them long time ago. There was unclean dishes everywhere and his last jar of chocolate paste was empty and had rolled somewhere. His TV was always on, displaying National geographic Channel. The covers were also dirty because he passed his time in the sofa. Except to go in the bathroom. And not for everything…

Oh, he got often some visits… from his twin brothers. The guy, three minutes older than him, passed everyday and chatted in his ears but he even didn’t really listen to him. It wasn’t exactly the fact he didn’t want to but he couldn’t. Especially since the day he realized his brother talked about absolutely nothing. He wanted him to react, wanted to see him smile when he told for the fifth time the same joke.

But he couldn’t.

AAnd he felt even worse because his mother always loved him more than his older brother; his teachers too because they said he was better, the perfect kid and being just slightly less better than him, Connor didn’t mark the mind as much… Because of their mom, they even got the same job and their boss would always say to them he was better than his brother. But for him, Connor was the best one because being the second in everything, he never stopped loved him anyway. In fact, he always was the first to cheer up for him. He wanted to be partner up with him all the time, and not to take advantage. He was a tender heart and when it came to the truly personality, he was the favorite.

That didn’t bother Niles.

In fact, one day, nothing went wrong and since this day, that never stopped. A tiny problem became a huge one and the huge problem became awful. More he thought about them, more that came worst. And, of course, since leaving the house became harder and harder, he finished by stop to come at work and he lost his job. His mother blamed him, again and again, his boss too and everything became even worst.

They were talking about panda at the TV when he heard the bell rang.

He didn’t get up, of course, but the door opened anyway. He pressed his cheek against his forearm as he heard the soft voice of his brother babbling.

The panda were pretty cutes in fact.

Suddenly, they disappeared since he saw his brother’s face.

“I’ve a surprise for you today.”

No replies.

“I’d like to come more often, you know,” Connor said, putting a lock of hair behind his ear, “but I’m sorry, it will be harder now to come. We have a big case at work.”

You call that a surprise?

Niles closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against his wrist.

“I won’t let you alone, my baby brother,” Connor said softly, caressing his hairs. “Look!”

The other felt Connor got up and moved around. He didn’t open his eyes, didn’t want to see the surprise. Soon enough, he heard the pace come back but he didn’t looked up, too busy to do nothing and blame himself. How could he do that to Connor? If only he had the strength to open his eyelid and looking him?

It was suck a lack of respect for his lovely brother…

“Niles?”

He heard a soft sigh.

“That’s okay, baby brother. I bought you an Android.”

It was fucking expansive, how could he let Connor do such a thing?! He should repay that. He should talk.

“It’s a bit peculiar because it’s a prototype. He was a police auxiliary, a Detective! But they recycled him into something else. I checked up you risk nothing.”

But Niles thought it could be a nice thing if his Android would kill him. Ironic since he never wanted Android. And now they were a freedom people so owning an Android now?

“I’d love to say any longer but I can’t. I’ll see you soon. I love you so much, baby brother.” Connor pressed a kiss on his forehead. “Do whatever you want.”

Those words seemed to be say at someone else. Certainly to the Android.

Soon, he heard the door closed and then ruffling around. The Android didn’t even introduce himself.

Perfect.

He didn’t want to talk.

Niles stayed there. After long minutes, he opened his eyes to glance at the TV. Now, they were talking about sharks. He liked sharks but that didn’t cheer him up.

“Can I pass in front of the TV?”

Niles was watching the TV but in the time, he didn’t; so, he didn’t mind if the Android came. But he didn’t reply. Let him do whatever he wanted. Everything was fine for the Human. When, in fact, everything was not nice but you get it.

“Hey! I’m talking to you, asshole.”

Niles jumped and blinked when he saw the Android crouching in front of him. He was surprised by his look. Yes, it was a prototype but Niles still supposed his appearance was generic. This one had light brown hair a bit messy but put back, dark circles under his big grey eyes, hair in his slightly chubby face, red lips and scars. One above the said lips, one on his nose.

“I don’t have all the time, you reply or what?”

Niles was dumbfounded. “You’re already in front of the TV.” His voice was a bit husky because he didn’t have talk since longtime.

“So it’s a ‘yes’, perfect. You see, it wasn’t so hard!”

The Android rose up and started to move around, gathering the dirty dishes. Niles looked him, silently. This Android was really peculiar.

Four days later

Now, the apartment was clean up and when the mail arrived, the newspapers and magazine were thrown, recycled, and the private mail was read by the Android.

Niles liked that because he really appreciated his voice. It was soft under the roughness.

He still drank only water but he had noticed the sugary taste. But the Android made him food and he didn’t eat it. But this morning, when he woke up, he had a new cover in his back. He remembered getting cold while the night but didn’t want to move and was so surprised to have that warm duvet…

At the TV, they were talking about the venomous snakes. He wondered what it was to be bite by a Taipan…

“Niles?”

He didn’t reply. He didn’t talk to him since that first day.

“Hey, dipshit!”

And now, Niles wondered if Connor knew the Android was that rude when he bought it.

“Okay. Should I do the food or not? Because I won’t lost my time for an asshole who even doesn’t eat. Do I cook for me? No!”

No reply.

“Phck!”

Niles’ eyes twitched. ‘Phck’? That was cute.

The rough face appeared in front of him. Fingers snapped and he blinked against his will.

“Fine, you’re alive. So, you reply now. You eat or not?”

Niles looked him but still didn’t reply.

“That’s it? Okay. I’ll do the food but believe me, you’ll eat!”

The Android got up and Niles couldn’t help but followed his track with his eyes. He also liked to see his longs legs trapped in a black pants and the white hoodie he was wearing. Sometimes, he pulled the hood on his hair and face to hide his LED. Niles had nothing to do in his live so, it was sad but he had already noticed it was when the LED became red. And right there, going to the kitchen, the Android tucked the hood…

“Sometimes, more unexpected sound grabs our attention. Like this desert rain frog, squeaking viral sensation. Eleven million hits and counting. It sounds like a dog toy but actually this is the sonorous war cry of a very angry frog. Ferocious.”

“That meeeeeep are literally killing me,” the Android said as he was putting down the bowl full of broth with tiny vegetable, an egg and a lot of alphabet letters.

Niles cracked a smile when he saw the words written there.

‘Fuckin eat me asshole’

He passed his hands on the cushions and pushing on it to rise up. But his arms, used to be very muscular, were weak now, struggling to support his weigh. He felt tow arms around him and he was supported, helped to straighten.

“Are you playing? Do you plan to have me feeding you. ‘Ooooh GV200, I’m soooo weak, please, feed me with your strong hands!’”

Niles looked down. In fact, he was really struggling to do the slightest think. He moved a bit but not much and the best sports he did was to go in the bathroom, one time by day. When he didn’t forget. And the last time he had just roll over to fall on the floor then crawled to the bathroom.

He knew he was a mess and that was even worst now. And… oh no. The tears were coming… and he even wasn’t strong enough to prevent himself to cry in front of the Android. Fuck!

“Don’t do that!”

The GV200 had screamed but Niles couldn’t help. The tears were coming, rolling over his cheeks.

“Phck! Phck! Phck!!!” He rose up and looked around. “What do you want? Something to read? Something funny? Ah!” He connected to the TV and displayed lol cats. “No? Maybe… Maybe ice cream?”

GV200 rushed in the kitchen to find ice cream and he ruffled the refrigerator. He needed to go to the supermarket. There was nothing there!

“I don’t have ice cream.”

Niles pressed his skull against the cushion behind him and he cried more. Why? He even didn’t want ice cream.

“Warm bath? Do you want a warm bath?” GV200 offered.

Niles didn’t reply but the Android rushed in the bathroom and soon, he could hear the water flowing. A nice scent came a bit after. GV200 had certainly let bubble bath droplet fell in the lukewarm water.

He stayed there in front of his soup, unable to reach it. Unable to eat even if he wanted to. What a mess…

He even didn’t know when that state at started? At first, he ate a lot. Way too much. And one day, he just stopped. Why everything was going badly? Why everything was becoming worse each new day?

Why did he wake up every morning?

The door opened, the sound of pace arrived and he saw GV200’s face in front of him. “The bath his ready. Come.”

Niles gathered all his courage, tears still rolling over his cheeks, and he forced himself to pronounce those awful words with his voice still husky. “I can’t.”

“Why?”

He shook his head.

“Well. I’m stubborn and you need a phckin’ bath anyway so…”

Suddenly, Niles wasn’t anymore in the sofa but in the strong and yet soft arms of that Androids. They were warms. He was surprised. He though Android would be cold… He never touched one before, even if his mother worked with the man who created them…

He let GV200 bring him to the bathroom. He wouldn’t have the strength to protest if he wanted, anyway.

When they arrived in the room, the Android looked around then sat him in the floor without a word.

“You undress or…”

Niles cried more. Damn! He wasn’t able to eat if he wanted it and even to undress. What a mess! What did he do with his live?! How? When? Why?

“Okay, okay. I’ll undress you.”

The Human looked him while the fingers came at the skirts of his t-shirt. He passed the cloth above his head then along his arms. He continued with the pant and Niles said nothing, even when he was naked.

“And now…” GV200 looked to the bath then to Niles. “I’ll undress, okay? Don’t worry, you won’t have an unsolicited dick appearin’, I don’t have one.” He shrugged then undressed.

Anyway, Niles felt strange and he looked down. He wanted to say ‘what are you doing?’ but just couldn’t.

Soon, he was, once again, carried in those arms. He watched as the Android step over the bench’s bath.

“It could be a bit warm,” the Android said. Then, he sat in the bath and installed the body over his, the back of Niles against his chest. He took a lotion and poured some in a washcloth. “Look,” he said.

Niles had red eyes and he stared as the GV200 passed his hand inside the bath mitt. Then the Android’s hand came above his and make him rub his body.

“You see? You’re doin’ it yourself.”

The man chuckled through his tears. He had a blurry vision but he looked their hands passing above his arms. His hand.

“Po… Police auxiliary… right?”

“Bold! You’re washin’ yourself and talkin’!” GV200 bent a bit. “I like that!” He felt Niles trying to follow the rubbing gesture. “Yay, I was a police auxiliary.”

“How… someone could end up like that?”

“Hm…” he said, pressing his seconds and in the bench.

He didn’t dare to touch him with this hand, showing respect. But Niles did saw that hand and he moved his head, saw the red LED and the Android moving his head to prevent to show that.

“Take a guess,” he chuckled. “How a decent person ends up like that?”

“I don’t know.”

GV200 glanced to him. “As a cop, I saw and heard things. Slowly, I deviated and when they realized I was a Deviant, they rebooted me. And I deviated. Again… and again. So… they threw me away. I stayed in that glass tube for months before your brother found me and agreed to buy me.”

Niles could imagine that poor Android, threated like an object when he had a conscious, still see like that even when most of the Deviant were free… He could see him begged for Connor and Connor agreed even if it wasn’t the good person to choose.

“I don’t have the code to take care of people. Don’t toss me away, I need someone…” it seemed like he costed to GV200 to say that, seeing the LED, his face…

“Can I call you Gavin?”

“Hu?”

“That sound more like a name and that suits you. Can I call you Gavin?”

The Android blinked, his LED leaving the red to become yellow.

“I’d like that.”

Niles looked his hand, pressing the washcloth against his wrist. He knew the hand was on him but he was washing himself. In a matter of day, the Android had made the difference even his brother couldn’t…

He wanted to be the one he used to be. Or, at least, to be able to look him in the mirror. And he couldn’t do that alone…

“I need you,” Niles confessed.

“I’m there,” the GV200 replied.

No… Gavin replied.

#Reed900 week 2018 #Reed900 week 2018 Day 2 #Gavinreed #RK900 #Reverse au #it's on ao3 #dbh #detroit become human #depression theme #I hope this is okay #i hope they will be okay #i love them by the way #Loved the last scene #Had hard time with Gavin

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specialmindz · 6 years ago

Photo

“huh?”

“Hey Snas, how you spell yo’ name? Is with an S or a Z?”

“what are you talking about?”

“Is S-N-A-S or S-N-A-Z? It sound like da’ latter, but I’s a baby, so I don’t spell good.”

“what exactly are you putting my name on?” asked Sans, eyeing the piece of paper in his brother’s hand.

“Is a flyer.”

“what’s on the flyer?”

“Letters.”

“bro-”

“Letters and a picture of you that I taked. Lookin’ fine in dat lab coat big Buther...”

“seriously pap, what are you putting my name on?”

“Is a job wanted flyer! I knows you doesn’t like working for Daddy for no monies, so I’m gonna get you a new one!”

Sans took the paper from his brother and began to read it out loud. “big-ass baby looking for work. cute butt, cute head, cute everything. has experience in being daddy’s slave-bro you’re not posting this.”

“Why not?!”

“many reasons.”

“You like being Daddy’s slave?”

“no, but if we’re starting with the obvious, this picture is inappropriate.”

“It’s yo’ butt!”

“i can see that-”

“I took the picture so they knows I’s not lying. There be a picture of your head and your feets underneath like a flippybook-”

“what is it with you and butts lately papyrus? you keep bringing them up and it’s weird!”

“Pooburty.”

“babies don’t go through puberty.”

“Oh.”

“...”

“...I needs a doctor big Buther...”

Sans ignored him and continued to read the book he was holding, crumbling the paper Papyrus had made into a ball and shoving it into his coat pocket. He had hoped the act would make his brother get the message and go away, but the baby didn’t seem to care that his hard work had been destroyed. Instead, Papyrus merely pulled out another sheet and began to scribble on it with a pen.

“Okay, how’s dis? Big-ass baby looking for work, lossa experience being Daddy’s slave. No butt stuff.”

“papyrus, no. i appreciate what you’re trying to do, but no. it sucks that i don’t get paid, but i enjoy my job, so it’s fine.”

“*Tch* Lazybones! Work not supposed to be fun!” Grumbling, the infant angrily scribbled out what he wrote and started again. “Kay’...big-ass baby looking for fun. Lossa experience being Daddy’s slave, but still needs to be punished. He’s been real bad-”

“what?”

“He’s use to abuse and likes to abuse others-”

“i’m abusive? i’m abusive because i don’t want another job?”

“He be very obee-di-ant and likes to act like animals when he play. He go ‘WOOF WOOF! ARRROOOOO!”

“gimme that freaking paper.”

“Dis be Snas’s number, call if you gots any kestions or weequests.”

“don’t put down my number.”

“No number...? Kay’, I go change it to yo’ email.”

Sans paused. “’go?’ what do you mean ‘go?’ where are you go-ING?”

“Undernet.”

“the undernet?”

“Yep!”

“you put my cell number on the undernet?”

“I putted the job thingy and yo’ cell number. Now I gots to copy dis stuff and then post da’ flyers so ERYBODY knows about you. ”

“...”

“Also I didn’t know how to spell Snas, so I put Sans kay’?”

Sans’ sockets went dark.

RING RING!

“LOOK SNAS! An employer...”

RING RING RING!”

“Isn’t you gonna answer your phone big Buther? They might has a fun job for you...”

RING RING RING!

Looking at his pocket warily, the comedian reached inside and took out his phone, looking at the number.

“*sigh*”

It’s just Dad.

“hello? hey dad, sup?”

“You know what’s ‘sup’ child...”

“nooo, can’t say that i do actually. you realize i’m in the next room right? you can just come talk to me.”

“Well yes, I suppose I COULD do that, but there’s a slight problem.”

“you’re busy?”

“I’M DETAINED!”

Sans pulled the receiver away from his head. “what?”

“SOMEONE FOUND YOUR POST ON THE UNDERNET AND NOW I’M BEING QUESTIONED BY THE ROYAL GUARD!”

“wh-heh heh ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

“IT’S NOT FUNNY SANS, THEY THINK I’M SELLING MY CHILDREN! WHY WOULD YOU PUT SOMETHING LIKE THAT ON THE WEB?”

“did you actually read the post or...?”

“OF COURSE NO-it was your brother wasn’t it?”

“NYEH HEE HEE HEE HEE!”

“Put that little shit on the phone.”

“alrighty,” turning around, Sans held out his cell phone to his little brother who grabbed it with both hands.

“Hellwoe? What you want?”

“TAKE THAT POST DOWN RIGHT NOW PAPYRUS!”

“Nyeh? Papyrus? I’s not Papyrus, dis be da’ pizza shop...”

“PAPYRUS!”

“We gots da’ cheesy pizza, da’ peppy-roni pizza, and we gots pizza with widdle fishies on them. They look like dis,” Papyrus widened his eyes and opened his mouth, imitating a dead anchovy.

“heh heh heh...”

“You want dat pizza? Is good...”

“I WANT YOU TO TAKE DOWN THAT POST!”

“What post?”

“YOU KNOW WHAT POST!”

“No I doesn’t. Look sir, if you doesn’t want a pizza, don’t call here kay’? Cause’ dis be the pizza pace.”

BEEP!

Papyrus hung up.

“I think he bought it big Buther...”

“...why?”

BE-CUN!

“PAPYRUS GET THAT GODDAMN POST OFF THE UNDERNET!!!” screamed Gaster from the intercom.

“uh. oh! heh heh heh!”

“Uh oh Snas!”

“what are you gonna do bro?”

“There’s only one thing to do,” said the baby bones reaching into his toy chest. “I gots to run away.” He pulled out a little plastic Mickey Mouse purse he had found at the Dump and began stuffing it with crayons.

“you’re gonna run away...?”

“Yep, but don’t worry Snas, though fate tears us apart dis day, I’s certain we shall meet again!”

“heh heh ha ha ha! where you gonna go bro? you gonna go live with flowey?”

He’s been gone an awful long time...maybe he’s really NOT coming back...

“No, baby already tried that,” said Papyrus thinking back to last week.

“NO. No no no no, you get the HELL out of here-”

“Hellwoe Dirt-butt! I’s come to visit you! Nyeh heh heh!”

“Did you not hear me? GT...FO.”

“Why you staring at da’ ground Dirt-butt? Didja lose something?”

“YEAH I LOST PEACE AND QUIET! WHAT PART OF ‘LEAVE’ DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND?”

Continuing to ignore the plant, Papyrus crawled around and patted the ground with a smile.

“What are you doing?”

“What’s it look like I’s doing?”

“Not leaving.”

“I’s looking for the quiet...”

“...”

“I know it be around here somewhere, don’t chu worry. The Gweat Papyrus gonna find it real good-”

“I know you’re not stupid Papyrus,” said Flowey frowning. “You may have everyone ELSE fooled, but I KNOW better-”

“SHHH! You’ll scare away da’ quiet Dirt-butt!”

“Knock it off.”

“What the quiet look like? Is it small? Like, really REALLY small?”

“Yeah it’s small, SMALL LIKE YOUR BR-” the plant stopped short. ”You know what? Forget it,” he said, smiling slyly. “Forget looking for the quiet. We’ll make our OWN quiet, how’s that sound?”

The infant’s eyes immediately lit up. “Ooooh! We doing da’ arts and crafts?”

He loved arts and crafts, but Flowey NEVER joined in with him and Sans. He instead preferred to watch from the air vent whilst occasionally shouting down insults centered around their creations.

Not that it bothered Papyrus per say.

Flowey was obviously just upset that he couldn’t use the glue without getting his petals and/or roots stuck together, which would’ve been sad if he didn’t handle it in such a pathetic manner like all his other problems.

“No, we’re gonna play a game. The QUIET game...”

“Ki-et game...?” Papyrus looked disappointed.

“Yep, the quiet game; it’s where we sit still and make no noise whatsoever. Whoever talks first loses, okay?”

“Kay’.”

“...”

“...We’s playing right now?”

“Yeah, isn’t this fun?”

“Yep! I really like sitting around in a field doing nothing like an asshole!”

“YOU CAN LEAVE!”

“No really; doing nothing is a baby’s favorite thing to do, cause’ we doesn’t know how to be pro-duc-tive members of so-ci-et-y...” said Papyrus before lazily rolling onto his back and sticking his foot in his mouth.

“...”

“Also I can’t leave until I beats you in round two, then I’ll be da’ game master!”

Flowey snorted. “You didn’t beat me in round one, so how do you suppose you’re going to do that?” he asked, placing his leaves where his hips would be.

“Easily,” replied the infant. “And I did too beat you. You’s just a sore loser, like always.”

“I AM NOT!”

“Perhaps you should get on baby’s level Dirt-butt?”

“I DIDN’T LOSE! All i did was tell you that the game started and that doesn’t count!”

“Git good scrub flower, nyeh heh heh!”

“Whatever. Even if I DID lose, YOU’RE being a sore winner!” said Flowey turning away.

This made Papyrus sit up and scratch his skull in confusion. “...Dat don’t make sense dough. How can baby be sore if baby won? You’s making stuff up-”

“NO I’M NOT!”

“You wants an apo-lo-gy?”

“YES!!”

“Kay’.”

“...”

“...Well?”

“I’m sorry you suck.”

“GET OUT OF MY FIELD!!”

“...And dat’s what happened.”

“what?”

“What?”

RING RING!

“...You want some pizza Snas?”

“go take down that post,” said Sans turning off his phone.

“If I takes it down will you pay wit me?”

“uhh...” he looked at his book and then back at Papyrus. He was in the middle of it, nowhere near the end, but he doubted he’d get much studying done if Gaster managed to convince the guards to step aside.

Dad and Pap will be at each other’s throats all day if the guards leave, and dogs don’t have the greatest attention span to begin with...

“uhhh, yeah sure, i suppose i could spend some time with ya’ if you want...depends on what we’re playing though.”

I’m not playing Hide and Seek with this cheater again, THAT’S for sure. Last time he used the security cameras to find me, the little brat.

“We pay House!”

“heh heh heh, house huh? and lemme guess, you wanna be the baby right?”

Papyrus ignored him and crawled back to his toy box shifting loudly through the multitude of broken toys.

“whatcha’ looking for baby bro?”

“Nyeh heh heh!” the infant laughed happily as he raised a fairly large stick in the air triumphantly, his brother watching him in confusion.

Why does he have a stick in his toy box?

CLACK CLACK CLACK!

Hobbling around on the stick, Papyrus grabbed a clipboard with one tiny hand and looked at it disapprovingly. “Wrong, wrong, wrong. Dis be all wrong. Don’t chu know anything besides food? You went to doctor school didn’t you? Sometimes I thinks you’s just here to clean out da’ vending machines...”

“wh-what?”

“Where da’ patient at? You didn’t eat them did you? You know we need those things for monies-”

“what the hell is your problem?”

“Well I gots a whale in my staff room, so PETA’s bound to give me a call sooner or later, other than that though it’s just my leg...oh, and the fact that you suck at yo’ job.”

“your...leg hurts...?”

What?

“The patient OB-VI-OUS-LY gots da’ heatstroke, so we needs to put them in the feezer or they no get better. I doesn’t know why you thought it be a good idea to put em’ in a hospital bed.”

“put em’ in the freezer huh? heh, iii don’t think that’s a good idea lil’ bro.”

“I stopped paying you to think when I re-ah-lized you’s bad at it. Now you follow orders. INTO DA’ FEEZER!” exclaimed the baby pointing to the ceiling dramatically. He then dropped the clipboard and plopped down on the floor, waiting for his older brother to respond.

“okayyy...?”

Papyrus stared right through him and waited silently; a smile plastered on his face. Apparently he had no intention of giving Sans any more instruction, despite never mentioning where, or more importantly, who the patient was supposed to be.

Am I supposed to go find one of his dolls or something?

Knowing his brother, that probably wasn’t the case, but Sans went to the toy box anyway in hopes that the baby Horror would be as happy with a non-living patient as he would a live one.

He was immediately stopped in his tracks.

“Where you going Dr. Snas? We gots to save the patient or they’s gonna die! Leave the toys alone, those be for sick babies...”

“where do i go then pap? where’s the sick guy?”

“Nyeh?” Papyrus looked around. “*GASP!* SNAS!”

“what?”

“THE PATIENT’S ASCAPED!”

“they escaped huh? and why would anyone wanna escape a hospital? that’s where people get healthy bro!”

“They must be hippies Snas!”

“really pap?”

“Quick! We gots to catch em’ before they go online and convince peoples to use natural home re-me-dies and herbs instead of medicines!”

“herbs ARE medicine.”

“...”

“...what?”

“You’s fired.”

“i’m fired...?”

“You’s fired. I can’t and won’t have druggies working under my stupervision. No wonder you’s bad at yo’ job!”

“i’m not a hippie, and that’s very offensive.”

“I doesn’t wanna hear your excuses. Have your desk cweened out by dis afternoon,” said Papyrus. He crawled away, exiting the lab door that led to Waterfall, and leaving his older sibling alone. He was sad that he couldn’t have Sans be his employee anymore, but at least Undyne had gotten home from daycare by now; he could play House with her. She wasn’t very smart, but at least she wasn’t a drug user...

His brother could be REALLY disappointing sometimes.

“psh, whatever,” muttered Sans picking up his book. “i didn’t wanna play with you any-”

Wait a minute.

“PAPYRUS TAKE DOWN THAT POST!!”

“NYEH!”

PUMP!

Papyrus kicked the glass door to the lab with his foot and continued on angrily.

Go munch a tree, hippie baby.

The artist contacted me before making the image, so I know who they are this time. The artist’s name is Rammorn, also known as Passing_Note on AO3.

#Fonttale #fonttale au #undertale #undertale au #undertale fanfiction #papyrus #baby papyrus #sans #kid sans #gaster #house md

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scrapyardboyfriends · 7 years ago

Text

13 July 2017

[The Mill of Misery with Robert and Aaron]

AARON: *Eats Toast* (FANDOM: Maybe there’s hope for him yet! - also, where is the actual toaster?! Just show us -)

ROBERT: Hey Aaron! I’m still totally ignoring our obvious serious relationship problems. Denial land is fun as fuck! Didn’t you know? Anyway, I couldn’t get a ticket there but I got these one way tickets to Dublin, because as Charity made clear, Sandra is great Plot Device and whenever we want to be off screen for a bit we can always go see her. Remember Mauritius? It was great.

AARON: But we’re not talking about a little off screen time Robert, we’re talking about leaving for good. You just got a shiny new blue coat. You don’t get new wardrobe when you’re leaving. This is not going to actually happen. Plus, we have this new set. Liv would be really sad if she never got to live here. Oh and I still have that scrapyard business that gave us an excuse for our secret affair in the first place. Remind me how this changes anything for our relationship.

ROBERT: I don’t want to change anything, I just want to go back to how things were. #Relatable #SpeakingForTheFandom No looking back.

AARON: No looking back? Not for anything? The mere fact that I’m saying this means that this is going to come up again today. You sure you don’t want to come clean now?

ROBERT: And ruin the angst that will happen later? Never. Let me just repeat the phrase again so it’s extra important. No looking back. *Walks into kitchen* *Extremely Conflicted Face*

[The Cricket Pavilion with Robert and Rebecca]

REBECCA: *Makes joke about Robert getting to second base with her*

ROBERT: I think it’s a little late for that. You remember what Plot we’re part of and how it started right?

REBECCA: Fair point.

ROBERT: So...I’m taking Aaron away to try and escape this Plot. It’s totally going to work.

REBECCA: That’s ridiculous. You and Aaron are really popular characters and they wouldn’t just let Aaron go. With all the tears he cries, he’s an awards magnet.

ROBERT: I know, but Aaron pretty much said yesterday that he can’t be a part of this Plot anymore. I’ll literally do anything to stay with him, which is totally healthy. So if we go, then my marriage will be fine, probably, maybe. But it’s definitely over if we stay. Look, take this envelope full of the most important things to me besides Aaron, and give it to my kid to remember me by.

REBECCA: Money and a picture of your dad? So you’re giving your son a photo representation of your own daddy issues so that he can know he’s not alone when he has his? Great parenting Rob!

ROBERT: Look, it’s all I can do. Oh, and be sure not to tell anyone we’re leaving. Now that I’ve said that, you probably will. - I have a bad feeling about this -

[Outside the Cafe with Rebecca and Victoria]

VICTORIA: Hey BPFF! What’s so urgent?

REBECCA: Well, Robert told me not to tell you, which of course means the Plot wants me to tell you. Anyway, Robert and Aaron are running away for good, which is apparently all my fault even though I would never own up to any responsibility for my part in any of this. I mean, Robert is just a devious, manipulative, self serving bastard and I’m a poor victim Plot Device with no real agency. It’s just how it’s always been...from birth. #Salty

VICTORIA: What do you mean they’re leaving? I haven’t even managed to talk Robert around about the Baby yet! This cannot be happening. I’m putting a stop to this immediately. *Runs off*

REBECCA: Have fun being a Plot Device too! I mean...don’t do it!

[The Shop with Aaron, Adam and Cain]

AARON: I’m totally going to get someone to help you run our business when I leave. Maybe they’ll even be more help than me...or either of us for that matter. Maybe they’ll actually do work!

ADAM: Hey, don’t worry about it. It’s not like the Plot will let you actually leave, at least not for more than a few weeks. My turn next though. It was the only way I could actually get a Plot of my own even if it is for my exit. At least I hope it’s me centric. Remains to be seen.

CAIN: So you’re leaving then?

AARON: Yep..totally...cheap deal.

CAIN: Good for you. I can help out at the yard. It’s not like I ever get to do actual work at the garage anymore.

AARON: No, I’m gonna give you some work to do later, so I’ll just ask Pete to help out. The Bartons are desperate for cash, sorry, money. I know this, because for some reason, Ross is still sort of involved in this Plot and I still can’t figure out why. #LetTheTheoryLive

CAIN: Right, well I look forward to that business then I guess. *Leaves*

AARON: *To Adam* Let me get in a Bartsy Hug, the fans need something to be happy about in this episode.

ADAM: Sure bro. I totally ship us.

[Outside Aaron’s Car with Aaron, Victoria, Rebecca and Adam]

VICTORIA: WHERE’S MY BROTHER?!

AARON: Pretending like he has an actual job again so he’s not in this scene.

VICTORIA: Well I know your big secret plans cause he told Rebecca who told me because that’s how the Plot works Aaron! This is just wrong! And will actually not fix anything. Surely you can see that.

AARON: Well the Plot hasn’t left me with many options, Vic.

REBECCA: No one has to go anywhere because of me.

AARON: *Laughs* Thanks?

REBECCA: I don’t see why you can’t just stick around for a bit. I mean...who knows what could happen. There are so many Plot Holes at this point, almost anything could. #LetTheTheoryLive

AARON: There are so many Plot Holes because this Plot is the fucking worst. Look I’ve held back with you because the Plot wouldn’t let me escalate things but all bets are off today. If you were a bloke, I’d probably be taking my anger issues out on you right now and end up back in prison. Knowing my luck, Jason would probably end up back inside too and be my new cellmate. Wouldn’t that be tragically coincidental. - I shouldn’t give the Plot anymore ideas -

VICTORIA: Okay, there’s no need for that! Also...don’t threaten BABY!

AARON: Just get her out of here then! #SoDoneWithThisPlot

ADAM: Hey...time for a chat!

[Aaron’s Car with Aaron and Adam]

ADAM: *Laughing*

AARON: What are you laughing at?

ADAM: Rebecca’s face. *Looks in back seat* Hey that’s a lot more luggage than the one bag you usually travel with. Is this more than a couple weeks away?

AARON: *Uses cute nickname for Adam* (FANDOM: awww) Yes, Robert has decided that the best way to deal with this horrible Plot is to escape it completely.

ADAM: Yeah...but the Plot still happened Aaron. Doesn’t matter if you’re here or not. This baby is still apparently going to exist...unless the Theory is true or Vic steals the baby and runs off with it.

AARON: Well I wouldn’t be surprised. She hardly even remembers I exist she’s so obsessed with that thing. She can have it to be honest.

ADAM: You know, Rebecca might not even be here in six months. (FANDOM: PLEASE!!!!!!!!)

AARON: Or she might be?! I can’t make any sense of this Plot anymore, Ad! I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’m so tired. Look, you should have a key to the flat cause someone should use that set if we’re not here. But the Plot won’t let me give you my key for some reason so I have to give you Robert’s, which means I have to look in his conveniently placed jacket to find it and oh...what’s this? Oh it’s a freaky 3d scan photo of the baby! I knew he was lying when he said he’d never look back earlier. *Sees Robert in the side mirror* *Grabs ridiculously convenient wrench that just happens to be easily accessible in the back seat*

[Outside Robert’s Porsche with Robert, Aaron, Adam, Pete, Ross and Victoria]

AARON: *Charges toward Robert and his Porsche*

ADAM: You don’t want to do this! You just got out of prison, mate. Don’t give the Plot anymore ammunition to make your life miserable! *Tries to grab Aaron*

AARON: *Knocks Adam down* Sorry, I’m in full self destruct mode now. I somehow haven’t reached rock bottom yet and I need to get there fast or this Plot can never move along.

ROBERT: *Oblvious* Hey!

AARON: *Throws wrench at Robert...or maybe Robert’s car* (FANDOM: Not the Porsche! - maybe Ryan can get a higher car now? Nope...just the windshield. Damn! - )

ROBERT: WHAT THE HELL AARON? I know you hate this Plot but you could have killed me with that?!

AARON: *Still not done self destructing* *Charges at Robert and tackles him on top of the car* (FANDOM: If you pause it just right it just looks like they’re having a cuddle on top of the car...it’s fine...really) *Tackles Robert to the ground* (FANDOM: This is the most physical contact they will ever have... ) #EverythingIsAwful

*Pete and Adam pull them apart* *Vic watches from a distance*

ROSS: *Inserts himself into this Plot yet again*

ROBERT: *To Aaron in Shouty Mode* ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME WHAT’S GOING ON OR NOT?!?

AARON: *Holds up ‘Chekhov’s Scan Photo’ and throws it at Robert’s feet* *Stalks off*

ROBERT: *Distraught and Guilty Face* #SetUpByThePlotForFailure

[The Woolpack and Back Room with Aaron, Robert, Adam, Victoria and Faith]

ROBERT: *Still in Shouty Mode* YOU COULD HAVE KILLED ME!

FAITH: Ooooh! Juicy gossip! ...oh...this is actually serious...nevermind…

ROBERT: *Still in Shouty Mode* BECAUSE OF THIS? REALLY? *Holds up scan photo*

ADAM: Not everyone likes your Shouty Mode as much as the fans. Chill out.

ROBERT: I don’t even know where you found it.

AARON: The Plot put it in your jacket for me to find.

ROBERT: AND YOU WERE GOING TO CAVE MY SKULL IN OVER THIS?!

AARON: I don’t know. The Plot clearly doesn’t want us to be together right now. Look, I’m exhausted from all of this. I’m just going to go in the back room and pretend like I’ve gone back in time and still live here before this Plot actually started.

*Robert Follows* *Vic Enters*

VICTORIA: Oh hey Adam. We finally get to have a scene together again. How nice. Now...where are they?

ADAM: Back room.

VICTORIA: The Plot could be having them kill each other right now and you left them alone? Go check on them right now!

ADAM: Not even together and you’re still nagging me. Fine.

*Adam goes into the back room*

ADAM: Hey, you haven’t killed each other. Nice. Right...job done. Wait...Aaron you don’t look very good. Let’s see, you have random blood spots on your nice new shirt and you look like hell and… *Aaron collapses in his arms* and oh look you’re collapsing. That must mean you’re having a self harm Side Plot again.

ROBERT: Yeah, I only found out about it yesterday.

ADAM: And you didn’t say anything?

ROBERT: *With this Plot does that surprise you Face* #SetUpByThePlotForFailure Let me get him home so I can continue to be in denial about everything.

ADAM: No, I’ll take him to hospital. You just stay away from him. If you want to be in denial, pretend it’s 2015 or early 2016.

[The Mill of Misery with Robert, Aaron, Adam and Victoria]

FANDOM: It’s Bartsugsy! And we can’t even enjoy it. #ThisPlotSucks

ROBERT: *Has literally been standing by the door waiting the whole time*

AARON: *Looks awful and super done as he comes in and sits down*

VICTORIA: *Actually looks like she cares about Aaron for once*

ADAM: Hospital checked him over, gave him some antibiotics…

VICTORIA: Well our work here is done. We’ll leave you to the Plot now. *Squeezes Aaron’s shoulder like she finally acknowledges that this is hard for him*

*Victoria and Adam leave*

ROBERT: So...despite the fact that you just threw a wrench at me and tackled me in the street and then collapsed from your self harm cuts, I’m still totally in denial and think we’re going to Dublin to put this all behind us. We’ll just make up a quick excuse to your mum and be on our way…

AARON: Are you even listening to yourself? We’re a mess! I can’t go.

ROBERT: But we have to. This is exactly why!

AARON: No, this is exactly why I can’t. Robert, this Plot has driven us into the ground. Maybe they want to build us back up, who even knows anymore, but this here, it’s pretty much rock bottom.

ROBERT: But I didn’t know I had that scan photo still! I mean, I did cause I totally asked to see it yesterday but you don’t need to know that.

AARON: And did you get rid of it now?

ROBERT: *Conflicted Face*

AARON: I knew you didn’t, because you’ve been conflicted about this baby since day one. None of us deserve this Plot Robert. You didn’t deserve what the Plot almost had me do to you today and it made me threaten a pregnant woman and I still totally want her baby dead. It also put me in prison which led to this whole mess in the first place.

ROBERT: We can start again!

AARON: It’s not worth it anymore right now. The Plot has been pushing us toward this destruction this whole time. We just didn’t want to see it.

ROBERT: *Heartbroken Face*

[The Mill of Misery with Aaron and Robert]

ROBERT: *Still in Denial Mode* Aaron this doesn’t have to change anything!

AARON: That’s the point, Robert. Nothing in this Plot will change if we stay together right now. We’ll just keep going around and around in circles like we have been. I think this might actually be necessary for forward progression.

ROBERT: The Plot is just making you tired. You’re not thinking clearly.

AARON: I know Denial Land is fun, Robert, but you can’t live there forever. You should just go. The sooner we start this phase of the Plot, the sooner we can move on from it.

ROBERT: I can’t leave you like this.

AARON: Adam will come over. We don’t spend nearly enough time together anymore.

ROBERT: NO. We do this and there’s no telling how the Plot will handle it. Look at Coira! They’re still apart. And I don’t want to end up dating a Vicar or something!!

AARON: Don’t be stupid. I heard our second wedding was pretty much confirmed.

ROBERT: But I know you still love me. You can’t even look me in the eye because otherwise our magical soulmate love and chemistry would make you melt and we’d be back together like we should be and we can finally start having those fluffy domestic scenes in this house like the fans have been wanting for ages. I could even invest in some new lighting for the sake of the gif makers. This Plot is just ridiculous! #SpeakingForTheFandom

AARON: I do still love you. I’ll always love you.

FANDOM: Awwww!!!! Stop hurting us!

AARON: I just really hate this Plot Robert. And if we go on like this, it’ll probably end up killing me. *Takes off ring*

FANDOM: NOOOOOO!!!! NOT THE RING! *Ring Watch Mode Activate*

AARON: Just take it…

ROBERT: *Looks like death* *Beyond Heartbroken Face* *takes ring*

*Cheek kiss* - for the fans...even if it is literally killing them

ROBERT: *Pained, this is the worst thing that has ever happened in my entire life Face*

AARON: *I hate what this Plot has done to us Face* You should probably go now…

ROBERT: *Please don’t make me, I’ll literally do anything Face*

AARON: Just go Robert…

ROBERT: *I would bring death to this Plot if I wasn’t so fucking broken Face* (RYAN: Times like these, I really wish I could cry) *Leaves reluctantly*

AARON: (Danny: Let me show you how it’s done) *Sweater Paws up* *Crying Face*

FANDOM: *Crying Face* WHYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!! So...when’s the reunion?

#robron #emmerdale #plotdale #the age of misery #hope this slightly lightens the mood

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youremyonlyhope · 7 years ago

Text

The Wolf and The Lion

And the Witch and the Wardrobe.

Wait. Have we seen the Eyrie in the opening before? I don’t think so. You can’t sit around all day overeating and drinking wine and then complain when your armor doesn’t fit. Does Sansa know Arya isn’t actually taking dancing lessons? Or is that the agreed code for “Off sword training again.” Knight of the Flowers? And giving out roses? Dude knows how to get the young girls to cheer for him. And he looks familiar... Ok who’s the guy he looked at? And why is the Mountain’s horse freaking out? 10 bucks says he’s cheating somehow. Oh even his armor is beautifully made and covered in vines and flowers. He’s good. If this Mountain guy kills Sir Loras because he lost the joust (even if it wasn’t fair) then he has even less honor than Sir Loras. OH GOD HE KILLED THE HORSE THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE. OK AND HE’S TRYING TO KILL SIR LORAS TOO. AND NOW HIS BROTHER FOR DEFENDING LORAS. DUDE. LEGIT. WENT FOR THE KILL. HE WAS GONNA BEHEAD THE HOUND. I mean yeah it would be stupid of him to arm the attacker with his own dagger if it’s easily traceable. But still, this is all Lady Stark has to go on right now. Not expecting an ambush. Oh poor little Bran’s gonna have abandonment issues now, this is not fun. OK pretty sure that was the first full frontal nudity we’ve gotten from a man so far in this show. Oh so this is Ros! Girl, I wanna hear all your stories. So this dude knows exactly what killed Jon and didn’t say until now. Ok. Arya, girl, you gotta be quieter than that to catch the cat. OH MY GOD THAT DRAGON SKULL IS SO GIGANTIC I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS LOOKING AT AT FIRST. Varys, are you being helpful or not? ...Is Baelish really killing people for necrophilliacs?????????? How in the world did Arya end up out there? Why is there even an exit of the castle that looks like a cave and leads outside the walls? Can’t anyone just get in that way then? Oh hi Yoren. ARE YOU ABOUT TO TELL ME THAT BENJEN DIED? I mean, I knew he would die when he said to Jon “We’ll talk when I get back” and basically confirmed he’d never be back. But still. “No fear on that, my lady.” So basically that confirms someone’s gonna kill Ned Stark soon. Oh thank god Benjen is ok. Yoren, why you gotta mention Benjen and give me a heart attack? I knew you were here to tell him about Tyrion, but mentioning Benjen made all of that leave my head. Ooooh... the Eyrie is pretty. And now this messenger is gonna go up to Cersei’s spies like “Lord Stark asked me if the King wanted to meet with him about Lady Stark. Don’t know why. And you didn’t hear it from me.” Ooooooor... how about we don’t kill Daenarys. Baelish, why wait till nightfall? Why not now since they need to get out of Kings Landing right away? Catelyn’s sister is breastfeeding her child who is like... 5. I don’t understand people who breastfeed children when they’re long done being a baby. I’m sorry what? Why does she know Jon’s last words? Why is she mentioning them? Why does this think they’re about Robin? What? OOOOOOH YEAHHHHHH. I forgot Jon was her husband. Ok that makes sense. I don’t pay enough attention. But he definitely didn’t mean his son. Well. I just went to google to make sure that I was remembering that correctly and that she’s not about to reveal that Robin is his bastard son, but then google autofills “Jon Arryn Lysa” with “Jon Arryn killed by Lysa.” So... did google just spoil me? Or is that a popular theory? I should just give up on trying to keep track of who’s related to who and how until they explicitly say it. And Amazon Prime has a thing where you can see which actors are in the scene you’re watching (or at least they have it for GOT, I’ve never seen it on anything else), and If I’d just used that I would have seen an actress listed for “Lysa Arryn” and that’d confirm who her husband is. I’m stupid. This kid is like... incredibly creepy. When he laughed at one point, the closed captioning even captioned it as “(creepy laugh)”. NOPE. MMMHMM. NAH. THAT IS TOO HIGH UP. THAT IS PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE. So he knows how to get the girls to cheer for him because he doesn’t actually want the girls. See, I wasn’t sure if when Baelish pointed out earlier to Renly how he knows he wants Loras if that was just an insult or if he actually knew something. So, he actually knew something. “It’s not a gift, no one gave it to me. I’m good because I work at it.” I love that. King Robert has a point about unity though. ...17 years. Jon Snow is 17-ish. I know because my brother can’t keep his mouth shut that Jon’s apparently not really Ned Stark’s bastard... and that he has more right to the throne than anyone else... could he be King Robert’s bastard? Or possibly, the sick boy with the dark hair that Cersei had who “died”? He can’t remember what Lyanna Stark looked like? That’s sad. Cersei actually loved King Robert at one point? She has a heart for someone other than her brother and their inbred children? Jon visited another bastard just before death So he’s trying to prove the King Robert’s seed is strong, and the fact that Joffrey (and none of the other blonde kids) look like King Robert is a sign that they’re not his and are all products of incest? I originally assumed he meant the Lannister seed was strong. But no, he meant Robert’s. Come on Ned. Catch on. DON’T KILL JORY, I LOVE JORY. NO HE KILLED JORY. HE STABBED HIS EYE AND BRAIN. WHAT THE HELL. That was cowardly. Stabbing him from behind. Well I’m glad Jaime agrees it was cowardly.

WHY YOU GOTTA KILL JORY?? I HAD LITERALLY JUST BEEN THINKING “OH I LOVE HOW MUCH NED TRUSTS HIM, HOW HE TRUSTS HIM WITH HIS DAUGHTERS, HOW HE TRUSTS HIM TO GET INFORMATION, HOW HE TRUSTS HIM WITH EVERYTHING. IT’S GREAT. I LOVE IT. I LOVE HIM.” AND THEN JORY HAD THAT CUTE MOMENT WHERE HE WAS DISTRACTED BY ONE OF THE PROSTITUTES AND I’M JUST LIKE “OH I LOVE JORY.” THEN YOU JUST KILL HIM. HOW DARE YOU.

Well. This was the first death I was really mad about. And I’m REALLY mad about it.

#hope watches game of thrones #ignore me if you want

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