#“it's easy as well to see only the negative because the negative makes more noise”

[macaiv]

Esteban when asked about mental health and the importance of support in the Fórmula Latina Interview:

Yes, it is obviously not an easy topic.

It's difficult to be on the spotlight and have that much pressure, day in, day out. When you perform, everything is going super well. But when you have tough days, everyone's hitting on you.

And that's Formula One. And there's only 20 seats and it is normal that this is the case. But what has been very important for me is to count on the people that are there. It doesn't matter what the results are. You know, my team around me, my family, my girlfriend, all these people are going to be there, it doesn't matter what's going on. And to try and be in that bubble, which is a comfort bubble and just come out of it when you are racing and come back in again. That's probably the best way, to not get impacted from the people that can be difficult to you at times.

And yeah, obviously, social media can be a tough world as well. And yeah, it's important to, as I said, take the positive because it's easy as well to see only the negative because the negative makes more noise.

But there's a lot of people out there that wish me well, I got a lot of supporters in Mexico, I've seen it this year, the support has been amazing. And everyone on the world as well. And you can think, there's only negative sometimes, but it is not true.

The people are still there and supporting and they are fighting the one that hates and that is very nice to see, obviously.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I started doing sex work while still living with my mom?

Warning for sexual mentions(nothing heavily explicit though)

I (18F) can't get a typical job like working in customer service or physical labor because of a mix of reasons. I'm both physically and mentally disabled, for one. I have chronic pain & chronic fatigue so extensive physical labor or any job that requires being up for a long time is out of the question for me, as it would cause me a lot of pain and put me at risk for collapsing or falling asleep due to exhaustion. I also have heavy social anxiety and sensory issues, and despite being in therapy since I was around 11, this hasn't gone away. I still have problems with stuttering when talking to people I don't know, and feel on the verge of panic the entire time. I also can't handle loud noises well- I carry around a pair of headphones constantly but that does mess with my hearing so I couldn't really use those in a customer service focused environment. I'm a full time student as well, and will be for several more years, as I'm going straight into college out of high school. On top of all that, I can't drive yet, as the process was delayed due to concerns that my health issues would make me a hazard on the road, so I won't have my full license until late this year.

I've tried looking for other job types before, but nothing I've been able to find works. I've tried doing art, but it's not easy to get people to actually commission you- I've only gotten 1 so far and I've had commissions open for almost half a year. I've tried content creation but have yet to build a platform big enough to make money from it. I've looked for online focused jobs such as creating captions or proof-reading others work but realized very quickly I'm not equipped/qualified for that job due to my problems with processing audio correctly, and my problems reading and writing correctly first try- I often have to re-read things many times over and re-type things at least once to get it at all correct, as words and letters get mixed up in my brain sometimes or I just accidentally skip over entire words or even sentences. And even then I sometimes still get it wrong. So I'm a pretty slow worker with things like reading, and something that requires listening to something and then writing what was said took so long it wouldn't meet the time requirements a lot of places are looking for in workers for that (that I've seen).

So the only idea I have left for making money so I at least have something to help pay for college and to go towards me being able to move out someday is some sort of sex work. I'm not planning on doing anything super risky, like meeting up with real people or anything that would show my face. So I wouldn't be worried about this bothering my mom since she's not really sex negative or strictly against sex workers or anything if it wasn't for one thing. I'm not sure if this will work either. I have a lot of acne problems all over, and problems with picking at my skin that leave scratch marks in a lot of places. And I'm not sure anyone would be willing to pay to look at that. It's not something that bothers me on an individual level, it's just a part of me, but that doesn't really change what other people do or don't find attractive. So it just kind of feels disrespectful to be selling that kind of thing in my mothers house if it's not even going to be significant enough for it to matter financially. And, of course, there's always the risk my mom could see it, and I worry it would upset her to see her daughter selling that kind of thing. But I don't see other options left for how I could make enough money to not end up drowning in student loans down the line, or end up living with my mom for many years into adulthood- which wouldn't be fair to her since she's not financially well off either. I don't plan for it to be a permanent job, just something to help me through my college years till I can start working in the field for what I'm getting a degree in or until my issues get well enough I can work a more typical job.

WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[malikselfindulgence]

Could I request a romantic LMK fic/ficlet with RedSon and a female reader asking them for help foguring out demonic self care? Reader is kind of in the same boat as MK where they absolutely just thought they were human and now they’re discovering they’re not and they’re kind of struggling to get used to their new body, in this case grooming wise. I was thinking a bat demon reader struggling to brush their teeth without breaking the toothbrush with their fangs or getting the fur between their new wings brushed because it’s getting matted lol (it’s already hard to get your back it’s super hard when there’s two things in the way). It can be a bit suggestive but it doesn’t have to be.

RED SON X BAT DEMON!READER

A/N: AGHH thank you for the request!!! Literally had sm fun writing this it's such a cool idea >w<!! Also the way you worded the request makes it sound like YOU'RE a bat demon 🤨🤨 lol

Content: negative self-talk from reader at the start, kind of hurt/comfort, ending is suggestive!

Fic under the cut!

You know- you used to think demons were cool. You thought the monkey king's tail was cute, you thought about how convenient it probably was to have those claw-like feet, you thought DBK's horns looked cool [though you'd never say that to his face] and you still think Red Son's bull form is very pretty, fur and hooves and all.

Now, though? Not so much.

You weren't handling the change as well as you thought you would- being struck by the fact that you're not human, not even mortal, wasn't easy on anyone, but you didn't think you'd struggle with your new physical form this much.

While, yes, you looked cooler, you suppose- every new feature came with about a million more hurdles. You thought flying would be pretty neat? Wrong, you can barely stay balanced for over 10 seconds, and you got too air-sick to make use of it's travel anyways. You thought the new big ears were sick? How much do you like them out in public, when there's too many sounds attacking you from every angle, too loud and too overwhelming? And your sense of sight keeps deteriorating- you think you might need glasses now.

You hadn't left the house in a while- a long while, actually. Everything was just too much, and frankly, you were embarrassed being seen stumbling like an idiot in your new form, hunching into yourself at every noise and bright light. You hadn't been checking your phone either- you knew they had questions, you knew they were checking up on you, and it only made you feel more pathetic.

You were at home now, cursing your ancestors and stupid demon blood and stupid fucking bats, trying to wrangle your arm in position to brush out the fur on your back, but your stupid wings kept getting in the way, and you could barely even see in the stupid mirror, and-

You're not sure when you started crying, but you looked down to find teardrops landing on your sink. God, this was ridiculous. This was basic self-care, shouldn't you just figure it out? Demon instincts or whatever? You'd considered asking Red Son for help, and even though you know it's just your insecurities eating away at you, you can't help but be scared that he'd laugh at you-

'CRASH'

You pause, looking through your open bathroom- you think that was your front door. You think someone just busted open your front door. You think someone's currently in your house- you rush to grab a pair of sciccors from your cabinet, ears straining to pick up on the noise outside.

You hear footsteps, some angry mumbling, and your shackles slowly go down- was that...?

"I've called you thirty seven times! Thirty seven! Not that I got worried, but you're not responding to the dragon horse girl either, and I swear on the jade emperor's life if you don't-"

His rant comes to an abrupt stop once he sees you, cheeks still red with tear streaks, hair flat against your head, wings bent awkwardly to cover your sides from view. You smile nervously in an attempt to ease the tension, but it comes out strained.

"R-Red Son! Funny, ah, seeing you here- you could've rang the doorbell, or something-"

He scoffs at your words, walking closer- your wings wrap tighter around you, trying to shield yourself off- you don't want him seeing you like this.

"With how you've been rudely ignoring just about everyone, I wasn't even sure if you were alive, let alone willing to open the door." He hisses out, and although he tries to come off as mean, you can tell he felt on edge, his concern showing in the way his voice cracks at his words, his eyes boring through you. He's waiting for an explanation, but you're not sure you can give one.

"I'm sorry, it's just been- I didn't mean to ignore you as long as I did, really-" you stumble over your words, embarassed and guilty and scared, scared of how he'll react and what he'll say.

His eyes squint at you, his face softening as he takes you in- you look a mess, and as his gaze falls to the broken tooth-brush and tweezers by your sink, the way your fur is dull and matted down, he starts realising that you'd been struggling, and just what you'd been struggling with.

He sighs, slowly stepping closer, his eyes down-cast and worried. He settled his palm over your jaw, thumbing at your cheek to wipe away a tear. "You could've asked me for help, you know." He frowns, gesturing to your state, "There's....specific tools for this kind of thing. You can't just use your usual mortal appliances, they're too frail, and frankly repulsive. They're more likely to make it worse than anything."

You nod to acknowledge his words- you can't even pretend he was being dramatic and snobbish this time, he was right, your toothbrush being enough proof. You feel your frustration settle down into something quiter the longer he stays next to you.

Red Son suddenly pulls away, fire enveloping his form for a brief few seconds- you stand there, confused and wide eyed, as he returns with some form of bag in hand. You're not sure how he managed to get that so fast.

"Well then, up you go." He sets the bag down and shoos you towards the edge of the tub, urging you to sit down. You do so without hesitation, though you raise your brow at him and hum, a little dazed, "Huh?"

"I'll be grooming your fur, of course. As well as trimming your nails- they don't exactly look comfortable." He takes out a fancy looking hairbrush, better-looking tweezers than yours, as well as a few other things you don't recognise. You're still reeling from the fact that he's here, not making fun of you, and now he wants to take care of you?

"Wait," He pauses his movements to look up at you, hair crackling in the air above him, "You...you don't have to do this for me."

You're about to reassure him that you can take care of yourself [despite the fact that you rather evidently need his help] when his finger settles on your lips, shushing you entirely.

"I'm well aware I don't have to do anything, and I'm sure you're aware I wouldn't be caught dead doing something I didn't want to do."

He leans in to peck your forehead, a quiet show of affection to reassure you.

"Now stop with that self-deprecating talk and let me help you, alright?" You nod silently, your ears twitching lightly, and his lips tilt upward just the slightest bit.

Red Son instructs you to turn around so he can start with your wings and back- he handles them with care, especially around the tendons and legions where skin meets bone, the areas sensitive to his touch. His palms and fingerpads are rough, no doubt from all the handi-work he does, and they scratch pleasantly against your skin.

He washes out the areas you couldn't reach no matter how you positioned yourself with a wet rag and water from your tub, making sure they're clean before starting to brush your fur, "hold your left wing for me?"

You find yourself relaxing as time goes on, the rhythmic brushing and untangling soothing your nerves. You can hear Red Son's hair sizzle, his content breathing, the small murmurs he lets out every once in a while, and rather than overwhelm you it comforts you- you feel enveloped in his warmth.

"My mother used to do fur treatment baths for me, when I was little." Red Son starts quietly, his fingers prodding at certain spots on your wings, perhaps checking to see if something's out of place, or perhaps he's just fidgeting.

"I couldn't control my powers, back then, so my fur was always left charred and dry. It was a sensory nightmare for me, honestly. She hated trimming my hooves, though." He laughs a little, lost in a memory, "always said it was beneath her, but the servants could never quite get it right, so she had to until I was old enough to do it myself."

"Do you paint your hooves? Like, with nail-polish?" You wonder aloud, and you feel him smack the back of your head playfully. "Don't ask such ridiculous things."

"You're avoiding the question."

".....well, yes, o-on occasion."

You giggle at his reply- you'd already painted his nails over the course of your sleep-overs, and you were going to abuse the hell out of this new information.

"Speaking of hooves, could you turn around? I'll start trimming your claws, now."

You do as instructed, watching him pick up the tweezers. You hold your hands out on your thighs for him, watch as he eyes them with a thoughtful look. He picks up one of your hands, pressing it against his lips gently before settling it down again. You try to push down the flush rising up your face.

He rubs his thumb over your fingers, separating them so he can work better, the 'snip-snip' echoing through your ears, "I'll leave these behind for you, since sciccors aren't normally strong enough. You have to be careful not to go past this white line here, though, otherwise applying pressure to your claws will be painful"

You nod, a little speechless. It was easier when your back was facing him, but now you can see his face- the focused look in his eye, his pretty lips pursing in concentration, and you feel your chest warm at just how considerate and loving he's being. God, you should've just picked up the phone and called him so much sooner and saved yourself the trouble.

"Hey, Red?" You mumble with a smile, and he hums to show he's listening. "Thank you, for all of this. I love you."

He freezes, refusing to meet your eyes- you try to hold back a snicker, but you can't help yourself. You'd been dating for ages, and yet everytime you said that he got all flustered and shy like a schoolgirl. He grumbles, cheeks tinted pink, "Yeah, don't mention it."

Red Son rises to his full height, taking something you can't really see out of the bag before leaving it on the floor- you really need to look into getting a glasses prescription- grabbing your hand and pulling you upwards, towards your room. Your muscles feel lax and relaxed, and you yawn, realising just how taxing the day was.

"I think you should rest for now- we'll have to go to the market early morning before all the high-quality merch gets sold out." Red Son pushes you into your bed gently, settling down beside you, putting something over your ears. You feel all the overwhelming background noise drown out, leaving your mind fuzzy and....relaxed. You're not anxious anymore- you can't hear the earth buzzing constantly in your head anymore.

"They're noise cancelling headphones- loud sounds tend to...stress me out, sometimes. I have a spare back home, so no need to- mmmfh?!"

You rush forward to kiss Red Son- your wonderful, considerate, stupidly observant boyfriend, who you love so much you can feel it rush through your heart in waves- melding your lips against his. He starts kissing back once his surprise wears off, arms slowly wrapping around you to pull you closer. You feel refreshed, you feel happy and content and loved, and as you pull away you think he can see it in your gaze, because he smiles in relief.

You start peppering his face in kisses and messy smooches- all over his cheeks and jaw and nose, the corner of his lips, the endearing scar on his cheek, making loud kissing noises all the while. He tries to act annoyed, but the way he blushes and leans into you is telling enough.

"Glad to see you back to your old exasperating self."

You push him down onto the mattress, and although he's strong enough to flip you over again, he doesn't, simply laying there and letting you do as you please.

You kiss his jaw and trail down to his neck again, this time slower, paying close attention to the spot between his collarbone and shoulder, fangs just barely grazing the surface of his skin. You feel him gulp against you in anticipation, his eyes following your movements.

"Just let me thank you properly, okay?"

"W-well," his voice is shaky, your hands roaming over his body, claws now freshly-cut and scraping against his skin deliciously, "I suppose I can't say no to that."

[liveontelevision]

Hallo!!! I’d just like to say to start I ADORE your work! Especially with Lucifer, the way you depict him is SO refreshing you have no idea.. your work practically canon in my eyes I love it!!! You’re super awesome.

I did also notice that in your Lucifer works you talked about his more ‘unappealing’ traits, so-to-speak. Like his temper, his possessiveness, and especially his paranoia and panic.

I suffer with a paranoia disorder and some ptsd of my own, and it was really nice to have those traits made known, but not have them severely criticized, y’know?

I understand and agree that Lucifer would need a patient partner when it comes to these things, someone to stick around and be reassuring through it all; And while they can get frustrated, not criticize or even leave him for it; something I theorize may have been a reason for Lilith’s own departure.

But what if the reason for the reader’s patience is because of their own panic issues? Or their own temper?

Now to be fair, not sure how i’d exactly want it to go. It could be them comforting him when he panics, or Lucifer when they panic, or just a simple heart-to-heart about their combined struggle and the resilience that is forged because of that…

Like while their breath quickens, hands clutching into their thighs as their brain practically screams at them to calm down through all the mind-numbing internal noise; boiling tears stream down their face as they shiver within the darkness of an empty corridor. Perhaps Lucifer steps around, bearing witness to their storming off, getting a glimpse of the uglier side of their lover. The strange, uncomfortable, terrified side of them. But that isn’t what he sees, not at all. His gaze softens as he stares into their tear-blinded irises and carefully sits in front of them. He sees a person. A real, true human being.

(hahaaa got a bit too silly sorry xP)

All I know is that I think Lucifer, while also being equally concerned, would appreciate having someone who could understand what he’s going through; Well, as close as a sinner could get to understanding it, at least.

But what do you think? Would he act any different? I’d love to know ^^ ❤️

Thank you so much for getting into these details! After reading this I realized how much I connected my own mental struggles to what I write. So just seeing that you're about to relate to it as well made me feel really good :)

This was honestly a little hard for me, trying to get into this mindset. Even though it's not super motivated by Lucifer's character, I kinda needed to write this for myself honestly :') but still, I hope you enjoy this!

---

Comfort

CW: Descriptions of depression and panic attacks, flulff, angst

You were head of heels for Lucifer. And you’d do anything for him, that goes without saying, even if you do enjoy seeing his reaction to your devotion. You knew Lucifer as the king of Hell before anything else, so your first impression of him was obviously different from the Lucifer you know and love today. He was always portrayed in media as some suave, flirtatious, powerful being. No one dared talk negatively about him, his true authority being misinterpreted as pure malicious intent. But that didn’t stop the media from tearing Charlie apart. Why didn’t he defend his daughter then? In summary, Lucifer was known for two things; incredible power and little consideration for the actual ongoings of Hell, even with whatever his daughter was involved with. At first. His saving the hotel, defending Hell on extermination day, and encouraging his daughter, was the side of him that only a handful of trusted people could experience firsthand.

Luckily, you got to be one of those people. It’s easy to take his goofy exposure and temper and make it appear that he is an aloof king. But no one can handle being a hermit for centuries without having a different view on life. And being an outcast from his original realm? Being abandoned by his brothers? Even the most powerful demon couldn't experience that without it taking a mental toll. That was obvious. Comforting Lucifer would never be an easy task, even for someone who’s experienced exactly what he has. And who knows exactly how close Lillith was to him? Was she able to see him in this state? Was it another factor of himself that he chose to bury in fear of rejection and abandonment? It was a pitiful thought, but definitely not an impossible one.

Whether or not you truly understood Lucifer's past, you wanted to be there for him. It felt good to comfort such a powerful being, being an anchor for someone who has an absurd amount of baggage. But it’s not like you always knew what you were doing. You weren’t this perfectly healthy person who knew what to say all the time. When you first got together, you had your doubts about even having feelings for him. He was an icon, a celebrity, royalty. It was great he confided in you, but was his status clouding your judgment? Were you only enjoying the dominance you had over his emotional state because of who he was? Was your admiration misconstrued as love? It took a while for you to get over this mindset. The longer you were together, the less it became you constantly praising and fawning over him, the more it became being in love with your best friend.

You didn’t really bother to bring any of this up to him, the idea made you cringe. Would bringing up your doubts about the relationship only transfer those feelings to him as well? The moment passed, so there’s no need to get him worked up over nothing.

That’s a great example of how your mind works. You assumed that all these spiraling questions, that brought you to the brink of tears, just went away. That, because you realized how much you loved him and how much he loved you, that meant that you never needed to express these thoughts. Nothing could be done about it, those feelings were in the past. Why bring it up now?

There was also the question of how much you gave into the relationship. You gave Lucifer your all, gave him your heart and body, and yet you don’t feel comfortable enough to share your own suffering? You could've blamed Lucifer if you wanted. He should be supporting you the same way you support him. Or you could blame yourself. Obviously, if you wanted support you should feel comfortable asking for it. But why do you have to ask? Lucifer never asked for it. Why don’t you feel comfortable sharing your feelings? Your own trauma? What’s wrong with you?

That ended up being your downfall. Nothing ever just goes away. How could you constantly comfort Lucifer and push him to let out what he needs to, yet refuse to express anything that truly upset you? Demons are essentially immortal, these feelings couldn't be bottled up forever. But they can be bottled up until you break.

Lucifer had an especially rough day, he was looking forward to finding his sweetheart and venting about how shitty his meetings went and how Alastor pissed him off, along with some other daily struggles. That’s all it was; a daily vent session that helped him decompress. What he wasn’t realizing was how much that affected you. It wasn’t really his fault, or he wasn't doing it on purpose at least. You weren’t really the type to share your own struggles, you mentioned that to him once or twice. You felt that crying and letting it all out, venting about struggles that simply don’t need to be discussed, none of that really helped you when you were struggling. But today, you were struggling. 

“Ugh! That tacky son of a bitch made fun of my suit today, can you believe it? Like - I mean - C’mon! We basically wear the same things but in different colors, I don’t know what he’s on about. Oh, and I had to go to the Embassy today. Luckily I didn’t need to meet with anyone but I - “ As Lucifer started his long-winded complaints, he stripped himself of his boots, hat, and jacket, then approached you. You were lying in bed, which wouldn't exactly be strange if it were early in the morning or late at night, but it was nearly dinner time. You were wearing your usual pajamas and had been scrolling through your phone for who knows how long. Did you have anything to do today? You didn’t have time to think about that.

Lucifer placed a quick kiss on your forehead, then between words, one on each cheek, then a final, slightly lingering, kiss on your lips. He finally plopped down and laid perpendicular to your lounging body, laying his head in your lap and looking into the ceiling as he went on. You set your phone aside, that had been plugged in and turned on since late last night, leaving it hot to the touch in your hand. You had become numb to it at this point.

None of this seemed to really come off as an issue to you. Who doesn't have a day or two where they can't get out of bed? You were sure you’d be ready to get back to work the next day, so it’s not a problem. Plus, Lucifer was here! You could get some quality time in with him and convince yourself that you weren't wasting a whole day. He went on and on. Talking about the Embassy got him on the topic of Heaven, which led to him sharing a story of how his brothers weren’t supportive of a specific invention he was sharing. “It was really something, you know. If I could've just been accepted by them, if they supported me.. like you do! maybe things could've been different. Maybe - “ Plop. Lucifer flinched at the sudden drop of water that hit his cheek. He wiped it away before finally discovering its source.

You were crying. It was silent, and you were holding your breath to prevent it from turning you into a heaving, sobbing, mess. Lucifer was quick to sit up, seating himself on his knees as he tried to question your disposition. He was finally noticing your overall situation. You are in the same spot that he left you in this morning, wearing the same pajamas, scrolling through the same phone that never left the nightstand. He started to feel ashamed that he didn’t notice any of this sooner. You had shifted your gaze downwards, picking at your clawed fingers like you would your skin when you were alive. This is embarrassing. You don’t want him to see you this way, you look like a mess. You tried your best to keep tears from coming from your eyes, but the fact that Lucifer was sitting near you in absolute silence somehow made it worse. You hitched your breath, trying to control your emotions in any way, then let out a shaky exhale that made your body shrink.

The moment seemed to go on forever. It felt like his eyes were burning into you. You had to do something. Anything. “I’m okay! I’m okay, Luci. Sorry, J-Just a rough day. But it's over now! We can just relax now. Promise.” You quickly said, your voice raspy due to it being the first words you had spoken today. You shifted yourself over, pulling the blanket aside and patting the spot next to you. Lucifer didn’t know how to respond. He’s seen you like this before, everyone has rough days. And why would you lie to him? You could go to him for anything. You knew that, right? He reluctantly moved into the bed, holding his arm out to allow you to snuggle into his side, finally resting your head on the center of his chest. Your eyes looked vacantly towards the other side of the room, as your finger mindlessly traced the seems on the side of his shirt. A monotonous task that kept your mind on anything other than how you were feeling. Today was just one of those days where every little problem you’d encounter was tipping you over the edge, sending you into a spiraling mess.

He knew something was wrong. He didn’t push you away, you clearly needed the contact, but the warm spot that you created from staying in bed all day was apparent when he went in to hold you. Sure, he’s seen you like this before. But this was different. “Darling..? Erm.. Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to - I should’ve.. How was your day, love? Wanna.. talk about it?” He always struggled with words. It’d take him a while, but he’d always manage to get what he intended when he spoke. “Oh, um.. It was good.. My day was good. Didn’t do much, but that’s okay. Just a relaxation day I suppose.” Ah, relaxation. You’ve used that word before. He always wondered; How come relaxation never meant going to a spa or doing something legitimately soothing? Was laying in bed all day really what you considered relaxing?

“ I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worry. Go on, you were talking about your brothers? What were you - “ Your diversion was immediately noticed. Before you could even finish your question, Lucifer had taken your chin and angled your head upward to look at him. It was a struggle for you to meet his eyes. You gulped, and no matter how much you wanted to pull away from his grasp, you didn’t. Tears were welling in your eyes the whole time, and even though your breath had calmed, you still seemed winded. “Please tell me what’s wrong. Please. Let me help.” It seemed like everything just fell into place. Lucifer finally picked up on things you never realized came from your insecurities and paranoia. And he wanted to fix it, not stop it, actually fix it. You hated how the idea of it surprised you. It shouldn't, of course, he’d do this for you.

“ I-I promise it’s nothing.. I’ve just been feeling off today, I just want to be close to you. That always helps.” You smiled up at him. No matter how forced, he returned your smile. “Well.. Do you think.. Talking would help?” You tensed up as he spoke, an obvious sensation to Lucifer since you laid suddenly uncomfortably on his chest. “Hun, you know that stuff really isn’t for me… I don’t benefit from that, I think. So don’t worry. Just - be here. For me? Can you do that?” You began to sound agitated. It wasn’t an aggressive plea, more like a plea for this conversation to be over. He wasn’t a huge fan of how you spoke, it came off as a sort of insult to him. Did you not think he could help you in the same way you did for him? He could try. He wanted to try.

He planted a small kiss on your forehead, then traced his hand up and down your back, feeling your tension melt as he did so. He pressed his cheek against the top of your head and picked up your hand in his. He traced your palm, running along the wrinkles and folds of your skin, then lightly grazed his claw up the length of each of your fingers. He sent a starfish motion across the entirety of your hand before finally interlacing your fingers. You stared at his movements the whole time, watching only for a moment before your eyes glazed over, leaving you in a sort of mindless state. He squeezed your hand after giving it attention, which brought you back to reality. Your eyes had continued to drip, leaving a few small specks of wetness on the part of his shirt that sat below your face. With the newfound grip he had on your hand, he pulled your still clasped hands up to his face, rubbing his cheek on the back of your hand before pressing gentle kisses across your knuckles. His eyes looked at you, half-lidded, with your hands still held to his lips.

Well, you weren't lying when you said being around him helped. Just the sight of him caring for you in this way, calmed your mood. You managed to accept that your actions today wernt like you. That something had taken over in your mind to keep you weighed down in your shared bed. “Thank you.” It barely came out as a whisper when you said it, bringing your clasped hands to your own lips and pressing a kiss on his own knuckles in response. “Of course, love. Anything for you. I mean it.” These actions weren't exactly new to the two of you, these were methods you occasionally used to help Lucifer fall asleep, or calm him down after a rough day. But he was using it on you. He had learned how to take care of you, by watching what you do. Noticing how you act on a daily basis and how that contrasts from the version of you he’s seeing right now. It was a subconscious transaction that you two had. But when you did notice it happening, you could hardly contain the mixed emotions you felt. Embarrassment, Pride, Love.. 

“ I mean it.” He repeated, snapping you from whatever state of mind you caught yourself in, “You know that, don’t you? You know I can help you, right? ” Now, this was new. He’s never questioned you like this. For some reason, it became difficult to respond. To admit that you knew he had your best interest in mind. “Tell me.” He wasn’t demanding, he seemed genuinely concerned as he spoke. Your cheeks flushed, feeling some sort of embarrassment. “Y-Yeah, I know.” You were quiet, still.

Lucifer didn’t seem completely convinced. “I’m sure you do. But can’t you just.. I want to know what goes on in your head.. If that makes sense. I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking this - No, I want you to try and talk to me. Just try?” You almost scoffed, trying to play it off as some kind of joke. “It’s not important, I’m feeling better now, that’s what’s important.” 

That’s when he became agitated. He gently sat up, lifting you up with him. “No! It still matters. Tell me how you feel. Or - how you felt, I don’t know..! Talk to me. Please.” He had a tight grasp on your arms, almost shaking you as he spoke. You tried to calm down, you really did, but you felt forced into talking. Not in a negative manner, just in the way that your instinct to isolate yourself in this state was being challenged. You were physically reacting, tensing under his touch and lowering your eyes to the point he couldn't see them. You rubbed your hands against your thighs, trying to figure out what to say. It seemed like it took too long for you to respond. When you did it came out in the form of broken sobs, your hands moved from your thighs to your cheeks, running your forearm across your face to wipe tears. You broke.

You finally open up about your day. About how today, you felt like you didn't have any reason to get out of bed, how it felt okay to just rot there. You tried your best to describe what makes you this way, but you really weren't all that sure yourself. And despite how much Lucifer struggles with his own words, you were almost silent when it came to describing how you felt. He would nod his head and keep a calm composure, just like you do for him. It took everything in him to just hold you as tight as he could, to repeat I'm so sorry and it'll be okay and I love you so much. But that's not what you'd do at this moment, and he realized how much he'd hate that for himself. It’d feel disingenuous. You loved physical affections, even the slightest intimate moments were improved by a simple hand-holding, or just sitting close to Lucifer. And right now, you felt ashamed for wanting to push him away. But you didn't.

He cooed you, and pulled you in close, his arms engulfing your curled up body. He continued to rub your back, just like you’d do for him, and would ask if you needed anything multiple times, even if you politely rejected each time. Just to be safe. You let out a gross mixture of sobs and apologies, and possibly some things that you’d regret saying later, but the dam was broken at this point. After you had calmed down, he loosened his grasp to let you sit up, your body stiff from holding it in that position for so long. He was quick to create some tissues out of thin air and hand them to you, catching sight of your reddened eyes and nose, but he also made it a point to not stare at you. He’d turn his gaze to the floor, or to your hands, or he’d rest his head on top of yours. “So..? How are you doing?” He almost sounded nervous when he asked as if he might have messed up at some point. “I feel disgusting.” You said bluntly, your voice nasally due to your nose being so stuffed up. He chuckled and pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I told you this stuff doesn't work for me, I feel awful still.” A bittersweet smile hit his face, but you were still making it a point to keep your eyes away. “I know, love. But, I’m glad you did it. I’m.. well, I’m glad you’re talking to me - I know it was hard.. So.. thank you, I suppose. You did good.” His words were choppy as if he was still figuring out what he wanted to say. He said what he needed to though.

You let out an absolutely exhausted sigh and leaned back into his chest, bringing both of you back down onto the bed. After a bit more backrubbing and hums of affection, you finally lift your head to look up at him. He was absolutely glowing. The smile on his face brought you butterflies that you didn't realize could resurface after being with someone for so long. “You did so well~” He said in a low tone, keeping his eyes locked on yours, and keeping your head turned upwards by gently holding your chin. “W-Well, don’t say it like that.. Perv..” You let your suddenly dirtied mind blurt out a nervous response. “Hey, that one’s on you. I would never proposition a damsel in distress.” He tapped your nose, speaking in a theatrical voice, before meeting your lips in a much-needed kiss. “Love you.” You muttered into his lips, only to feel his smile form in response. His eyes weld with affection for you when he pulled away. “I love you.”

Even if you felt awful after your little outburst, the reality of laying in bed all day finally hit you with a burst of adrenaline. You weren’t able to sleep after that and Lucifer had no complaints about that. The rest of the night was spent doing silly little things, Lucifer demanded you do your nightly routine, insisting it would help your mood. He provided snacks, started a movie that you mentioned you wanted to see a while ago, and sat behind you as he either brushed your hair or spent the time to give you a thorough massage.

You were so proud of him. You always struggled alone when this kind of thing happened. And, although a little awkward, he was exactly what you needed him to be at that moment.

---

OMG LOOK AT MY LITTLE TAG LIST ILY GUYS:

( @vififofum @thornwolfy235 @tinywolfiegirl @chipper-chip @bat-boness @misfitgirlwrites @nayomi247 @lonelynmisunderstood )

[lokisprettygirl]

Brokenhearted (Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon Modern AU) (18+)

Read Chapter 8 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 9

Summary: Samantha continues to be a nuisance for Daemon and his journey towards healing.

Warning: 18+, Smut, sex, filthy smut, dom sub relationship in bed, Discussion of mensuration and Pregnancy, arguments and angst, flashbacks of abusive relationship, toxic masculinity, sexual abuse, Samantha, traumatic distressing content, Daemon is a big time smoker so if it’s something triggering don’t read it, alcohol drinking, mention of past trauma and therapy, cigarette smoking, possessive behaviour, mention of violence, baby needs therapy, baby is trying

It's been a month since Samantha had returned, after that day you hadn't seen her again but for some reason you always felt as if you were being watched, maybe it was just paranoia but you didn't want anything to disrupt your peaceful life with Daemon.

He had hired one of the best trainers in the world - Jonathan Decosta to help him get back into the shape again, he had agreed to join the league and his qualifier round was scheduled for two months later.

You were happy for him because he really was trying, he seemed calmer even, he had cut down severely on smoking and was making several changes in his life. He did get into trouble for backing out of his professional obligations for those men that were training under him for the same league, he'd ultimately have to compete with them and it raised a conflict of interests but Viserys handled the legal matters pretty well, he was more than happy that Daemon wanted to fight again..

However you couldn't help but worry that it might all be a little too much for him in the end, and you didn't want to see him get hurt again.

You were at the center, watching Daemon train since it was your day off, your eyes were stuck on his form, he was so quick and agile in the combat training, his stamina was unmatched. Well you definitely knew all about that.

His hair had gotten longer, reaching below his neck, he was on a calculative diet as well, he was already in a very good shape even before but now his body seemed more muscular and defined.

There was no one at the center working at this early hour so on his break as his trainer stepped out to get breakfast Daemon grabbed a towel and walked towards you, he was dripping with sweat and his breaths were heavy, a sight you were too familiar with and it was making you squirm in your seat .

He gave you his typical smile as he leaned down to kiss you before he pulled a chair in front of you to sit, he rested his head down on the head of the chair as he tried to relax his breathing.

"Did you eat something darling?" He asked you as he tilted his head so you smiled and nodded.

"But I'm still hungry…for something else" you bit on your lips as you were done speaking and he let out a chuckle,

"Is that so?"

"Kind of want to suck you off" you mumbled in your mouth and looked down at your phone, his breath hitched as you said that, blood rushed straight to his cock at your sultry voice.

It's been years since he had allowed anyone to please him like that, he had negative experiences because of Samantha. She'd please him like that once in a while but it was never done for him, it was for her, she'd be harsh with her words, reminding him how easy it was for her to make him cum, she'd degrade him and how he needed to improve how long he lasted when she was pleasing him like that.

"Mhnmm?" He just made a humming noise and you knew he was thinking about it but there was a hesitation and a fear on his face. You got up and sat down on his lap, grabbing the end of the towel you wiped his forehead and bare chest before you kissed him. He smelled so good, so manly, you just wanted to devour him but you wanted him to feel good about it too.

He was trying so hard to overcome some of those fears he had and you knew there were some issues that would only be fixed with the help of professionals but you wanted to make him feel good, bring out his real self, the man that he used to be before she destroyed him.

You caressed his chin with your thumb before you kissed him, he pulled your hair aside and his lips latched onto your neck as he feathered soft little kisses on your skin.

"I'm so proud of you" you whispered softly in his ears and his clutch on your waist only got tighter, you were starting to learn more about what ticked him, he really enjoyed being praised or being told how good he was even though he'd never admit it.

"Thank you, I don't want to let you down" he mumbled so you cupped his cheeks and kissed him again.

"You could never let me down no matter what" he smiled and grabbed the locket on your neck to inspect it, you could tell he was thinking about how else he could spoil you, he just loved dousing you in jewels and other gifts.

A few nights ago he had made you wear all of them and clicked a bunch of pictures on his camera. You only had the jewels on, nothing else.

Things started to heat up between you two so you got off him before his trainer would return. Once his training concluded, Jonathan left, leaving you and Daemon alone. Viserys would come in an hour so you had some time to kill. He wanted to take a shower so he grabbed your arm and made you follow him to the bathroom. It was a typical men's room with several shower stalls, giant lockers on the side and other facilities. The stalls didn't even have doors, just curtains, you could clearly see his silhouette as he stepped inside the shower.

The song Close to you by Maxi priest was playing on the speakers and you found yourself highly turned on with thoughts of doing unspeakable acts to him. You took your dress off and then your lingerie, sliding the shower stall curtain you stepped inside, Daemon smiled as he felt your arms wrapping around his waist, soft kisses were placed on his back, lips trailing over those scars he carried..

"You're not allowed to be here love" he tried to be firm but his voice came out in whispers.

"Mmm and who's going to stop me? You're the boss of this place aren't you?" You mumbled seductively as you circled around him and stood between his body and the wall behind you. Water drenched your hair immediately and you got on your tiptoes to kiss him, his hands were still placed on the walls for a while before he placed them around your waist and pulled you closer.

Your lips traveled down from his jawline to his adam's apple and then you continued to lower down, he knew what you wanted to do to him and as anxious as he felt, a part of him wanted you to do it, to make him feel good like that. As you got on your knees you glanced up at him, his fingers combed through your hair and his gaze was intense.

"May i sir …please?" You asked softly and his breath hitched in his chest, you were always so eager to appease his manliness, it was something he had lost while he was with her but you always made him feel enough about himself, you made him feel like a man no matter how vulnerable he was with you.

"Is this something you truly desire or you're doing it just to make me feel good?" he asked, thumb rubbed over your lips, his voice remained firm but there was a hint of tenderness to it.

"Both..I feel both" you grabbed his cock in your fist and one of his arms came up to rest on the wall again as he let out a guttural moan.

He then watched his cock disappear halfway into your mouth as you sucked the tip in and out slowly.

"You're so big, I can't take it all the way in" he snickered as you boosted his ego, always so willing to remind him that he was more than enough, in every possible way.

"You're doing good my sweetheart" your eyes bored into him as you licked the underside of his cock, his brows furrowed and mouth curved into a half smile, he was enjoying it and that's all you wanted.

The water from the shower head was dripping down on his cock, at first it helped to ease your movement but he sensed that it was getting a bit difficult for you to keep him in so he quickly turned it off. His mind was a blubbering mess as you focused your attention on his balls, he let out a loud moan and his fingers clutched around your hair, pressing your head between his legs as if he wanted you to be as close as possible.

"Mmm does it feel good sir?" you mumbled before you sucked him in again, at some point he heard her voice in his head taunting him, calling him unmanly for enjoying such frivolous pleasures but he ignored it and looked into your eyes instead.

"Yeahhh..it feels ..like heaven my darling..don't stopp" his voice was husky as he spoke, you pulled him out and stroked his cock with one hand while the other one played with his balls.

"You deserve it.. this and more and I want to give it all to you, I am all for you baby" you spoke before you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him as deep as it was possible for you, he let out a sound that was mixture of a grunt and a whimper, he was close, you could tell just from the way that vein on the underside of his cock was pulsing on your tongue.

He placed both of his arms on the wall behind you and his thighs trembled as he finally let go into your mouth, you swallowed some of his hot liquid but he wasn't done just yet so you pulled him out of you and a few drops splattered on your face, you continued to stroke him slowly as he rode the high.

You couldn't stop admiring his eccentric beauty, his heavy breaths, the wet dripping hair, the look of pure pleasure on his face was more than you can handle, your fingers dipped between your legs and you couldn't help from touching yourself to the sight of him.

Once his senses were clear he looked down at you on your knees and placed his arms on your shoulders to lift you up so you were standing up, he pressed you against the other side of the stall, the shower was turned on again but the water wasn't hitting any of you. He just liked the sound of it. It added to the thrill.

He grabbed your hand and brought it to his mouth to lick your fingers that were brazenly rubbing against your fold just now, you gasped at the gesture.

His thumb rubbed the droplets of cum on your face all over and then he kissed you immediately after that, your lips were moving frantically against each other, burning with desire for each other. Your thoughts were mingled, the feeling of his hand sliding between your legs was all you needed in the moment,

"So fucking slick, you enjoyed it that much? Sucking my cock like that?" He whispered in your ears making you squirm and hump against his palm,

"Yes I did.. I'd do it everyday, all night long if you'd let me" he grunted as your whiny voice filled his ears.

"Fuck darling i love you"

Samantha pleasured him like that once every blue moon and she made sure to make him feel as if she was doing a favor on him, she made sure to degrade him for enjoying it but he didn't have to worry about that anymore, he had you now, his own Angel, his sweet little girl who he knew just wanted to keep him safe and happy.

Your arms wrapped around his neck and you got on your tiptoes to kiss him passionately. It didn't take long for him to make you crumble and soak his hand with his skilled ministrations.

A shower was much needed after that.

As you stepped out you immediately got dressed and fixed your face in the mirror, once he dressed up in his fresh clothes, he leaned against the lockers and was watching you with an amused smile on his face, the way you played with makeup piqued his interest.

"What are you smiling for?" You giggled and he shook his head in response.

Next morning there was a huge box on your door, filled with the luxurious brands of makeup products you never would have bought for yourself. He was only observing you so he could spoil you further with things he knew you'd enjoy.

Things were going really well, he had his moments where he needed space but he never ran out on you, however on the way back to his apartment one evening you were utterly shocked to see Samantha sitting on the porch of his building. He wasn't home yet, he was still at the center, you wanted to cook him dinner and had the key to his apartment so instead of going back home you walked to his apartment instead.

"What are you doing here?" You asked as you approached her cautiously, you'd have just ignored her and gotten in but you didn't want to press the entry code while she was watching you like a hawk. She was extremely dangerous and seemed like that type to break into someone's house.

You could see why he fell for her though, she was beautiful and had an innocent look to her but her soul was blackened, your heart clenched everytime you thought about Daemon and how he often begged her to forgive him, to love him again, to not hurt him in bed.

"Just waiting for my baby" she gave you a prideful smile, you had a wishful thinking that perhaps she had left after realizing that he wasn't her toy to mess with but you were obviously wrong.

"Are you fucking insane? You should be in an asylum somewhere" you looked at her with disgust and she just laughed in response, you wanted to keep your cool and not give her the satisfaction she craved but she was making it really difficult.

"Awnnn is that what you think I am? That I am Insane? For loving a man as pathetic as he used to be before I fixed him?" Your jaw clenched as she insulted him. "What? Did he tell you a sob story about me and how I abused him? And you believe a man like him, a strong 6 feet tall man like him was abused by me? Wake up girlie, I never did anything he didn't want me to do, I only made him feel the way he wanted to feel, maybe that was my only fault, loving him so deeply that I was willing to hurt him even if I didn't want to. I made him the man that he never was, transformed him from that frail, delicate emotional fool to the man that he's now" she said proudly and you just wanted to smack her.

And you didn't want to stop there, as awful as it made you as a human being, part of you relished in the fact that Daemon had hurt her once.

You had seen the physical pain as well as the psychological trauma she had put him through. Forget opening his heart, he wasn't even ready to open himself up to being touched intimately in any way that wasn't just mechanical sex, that's how severely she had ruined his trust and esteem.

"I know women like you well, he was just a game for you wasn't he? An obsession for your evil desires, merely a possession to be kept locked. But let me tell you one thing you dirt faced bitch, Daemon Targaryen wasn't meant to be caged like that, sure he got in your clutches once but if you really think you'd be able to saunter your way into his life again then you're clearly deluding yourself..now fucking leave or I'll call the cops and report your stalking activities" you stood your ground against her as you stood up for your man, she glared at you with such intensity that you did feel creeped out by her.

If you weren't on the open street you'd have felt threatened by her diabolical presence.

"You listen to me you whore, Daemon was mine and always will be, I don't care what you call me but I'm the only woman he'd ever dare to love, you think he doesn't miss me no more? I bet everytime he's fucking you a part of him is thinking about the time he was with me" you chuckled as she said that. You knew that your smile only made her feel more infuriated so you used it as much as you could.

"And you think that's something to be proud of? You're a complete lunatic aren't you?" She stepped towards you but you didn't flinch, you didn't want her to see that you were affected by her presence even though the truth was further from that.

Daemon's car pulled into the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief, you were clearly unnerved by her malevolent personality. He stepped out, grabbed your hand, didn't even look at her as he walked towards the buzzer and stood in front of it closely to enter the codes.

"Daemon..baby, you're growing your hair again I see, you know it makes you look like a girl..did you get the flowers I sent at the centre?" Samantha spoke but he ignored it as if she wasn't even there. Once you both got into the apartment you looked at him to gauge how he was feeling but he seemed normal.

"I have to send a few mails..I'd be right back darling" he kissed you softly before he grabbed his laptop and went to the bedroom, you really didn't want to press a nerve so you started to prepare the dinner instead.

About an hour later he walked into the kitchen and put his head down on your shoulder while his arm wrapped around your waist,

"Daemon you need to report her or something, this is not a Normal behavior" he sighed as you said that,

"Just ignore her"

"But–"

"Do you not remember that I put her in the hospital? She'd pull up the old records and I'd be the one to get crucified for it, let's not forget that I'm the man here" he said in a no nonsense tone and you felt bad about it, just because he was a man that didn't mean he didn't deserve to feel safe or that he didn't deserve justice from that criminal bitch.

"So we just let her do whatever she wants?" You asked him and he kissed your shoulder before he spoke again.

"She'd get bored and leave" he dipped a spoon in the sauce you were making for the pasta and licked it clean.

"It's been almost a decade since you two know each other, I think if she was the type to let go she would have done that" you said to him so he sighed again "Does it taste good?" You asked him as you turned to him and cupped his cheeks, you didn't want to irritate him or make him feel bad about this, none of this was his fault, you just didn't understand his carefree attitude regrading her stalking behaviour.

"It's perfect darling. Look I know you're worried but if she tries anything I'll take care of it. I'll protect you with all my might I promise" he whispered and kissed you again.

It wasn't your own safety you feared here.

At night as you got in bed he immediately had you undressed and underneath him, he wasn't being rough today, his thrusts were slow and effortless, he just wanted to stay inside you for a little longer and you didn't mind it at all.

"Can I ask you something?" You asked so he pulled his head up from between your neck and chuckled.

"Now?"

"Mmmhm" you bit on your lips as his cock deepened inside you.

"How did you ummm what did you do to her? You said you hit her, put her in the hospital. How did you do that?" You asked him softly as you caressed his cheek, the smile on his face had faded as if he was thinking about the night.

"I would never hurt you like that darling, she just ..did something unforgivable and i snapped–"

"That's not why I want to know baby, I'm not scared of you, I just want to know how you did it.." he looked at you curiously and leaned down to kiss you tenderly before he spoke.

"I hit her twice before i pushed her down, she lost her balance and fell over the glass table, the impact caused it to break instantly and hurt her severely" he mumbled hurriedly.

"Okay, she deserved that" you said firmly so he kissed the tip of your nose,

"Nobody deserves that darling" he refuted even though there was a smile on his face. His pretty angel, always on his side.

"I know for sure that she did..do you feel guilty about it?"

His pace increased as you said that.

"I did at the time.. I never wanted to put hands on any woman in my life, let alone my own girlfriend..but when I think about what she had done to me, to our– I don't regret it" his breathing got heavier as his thrusts increased, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer to you to kiss him as lovingly as you could. He wasn't proud of what he had done in the fit of anger but he didn't regret it either.

"You did nothing wrong baby, nothing wrong, I'm so proud of you for sticking up for yourself and I'm so proud of you for wanting to fulfill your dreams again"

You whispered tenderly and he pressed his head down on your chest so you caressed his scalp until he exploded and then collapsed next to you. Turning towards him you caressed the scars on his chest, tracing each and every one of them.

He didn't stop you, your touch felt as if they'd heal those wounds he had suffered by her hands.

Everything was going so well for you two but a fear remained, she was still around, lurking behind the shadows for an opportunity to get in touch with him again. Daemon had to leave for Vegas for the league, he was so anxious about the trip, that's where he had played his last tournament, in the same arena and you didn't want him to be alone with his thoughts so when he asked to take you with him, you immediately agreed and used all your vacation days on him.

However, as Daemon stepped inside the ring for the practice session, an overwhelming sense of panic and dread washed over him. Despite the fact that the arena was empty, he could visualize all those people from the past that were present for his last fight, their words of disappointment and disbelief ringing loudly in his ears. He could even see Samantha's sinister smile as she watched him from the stands, taunting him for what she had to do because of him.

"Daemon..are you alright?" Jonathan asked him but his voice didn't reach daemon who was lost so deeply in his head, he needed you but you were back at the hotel as his trainer didn't want a distraction before the match.

The fear and anxiety became too much for him to bear, and he bolted from the arena, unable to shake the overwhelming sensation of not being ready for this, of not being worthy enough.

All this time he told himself lies, he thought he was over what she had done to him but he wasn't. He wasn't ready for this, he didn't think he'd ever be ready to fight again.

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Taglist (please check your setting if I’m not able to tag you)

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[topgunreacts]

Ayo! Greetings! I hope you are doing pretty well! I’m really sorry for asking this as I’m truly in dire need of help. My cat needs some immediate help for her surgery so I’m trying to raise some funds for her. If you have some spare time, please check it out the post that I have pinned for her, and if you feel it in your heart to help, please do us the favor by boosting the post or share it! Even if you cannot donate, spreading the word is definitely more than enough. Thank you for your kindness, and so sorry again for being this direct! <33

THIS IS A SCAMMER

But how do I know? And shouldn’t I reblog it just in case? It’s a valid concern. Fortunately, there are a few quick steps anyone can take to assess the validity of a charity request. Because at the end of the day, spreading a just-in-case message can have real negative consequences as other people continue to spread the scam on a just-in-case basis.

A sense of urgency (sickness, eminent surgery, etc)

They ask you directly to give them something

Familiarity, such as calling you “dear” or “hun”

Comments turned off

New account with few if any posts

Direct messages that ask for privacy in the matter

Use of pets, children, irrelevant mention of demographics (please help a disabled queer single parent feed their sick cat, etc)

No response to requests for more information

Copy and paste message that gets sent to numerous people

Photos that do not match up with the origin as found through reverse image search

Lack of creativity: you receive a similarly or identically worded request from a random account

Melodramatic backstory--we rescued this cat from an alligator attack that almost took the cat's eye!

Donation account linked to a country at high risk for hosting scam operations

And others. These are not ironclad rules, nor do they always show up in every scam post. Maybe they ARE a disabled queer single parent who can't afford to feed their sick cat. But these elements are patterns you can look for in order to make an informed judgment call. There is at least one popular tumblr account here that will not post any donation links unless the asker fills out a form allowing the account holder to independently prove their identity and issue. If a person is truly desperate and actually needs help, they will fill out that form. Asking for more information is always a good idea, as is doing a reverse image search to see where else the photos might have been posted. Checking keywords on tumblr is also a good bet. Remember: posting lies is quick and easy. Providing proof is not. And that’s critical if money is involved.

Scammers suck. But some of them are very good at what they do. They are masters of using people’s guilt and empathy against them.

Let's dig deeper.

First, let's check out that melodramatic backstory. It's a doozy!

It was actually her Birthday yesterday….well her gotcha Birthday! We found her on our balcony 4 years ago after an awful noise was heard and I still don’t know if she jumped up scared from something or if she was thrown on there 😔 She wasn’t chipped. Vet said it looked like she hadn’t long had kittens and looked about 3 years old herself. Couldn’t find her owners, so she joined our family. (Oh I looked for kittens believe me) She is the sweetest girl we ever met. She even purrs when she sleeps 😻we so love her. We just very recently lost our cat Mimi. She had cancer sadly but we fought so hard to help her but in the end it won. We have an elderly dog called Billa who just two weeks ago turned 20!!!! Any day now we could lose her, she’s feeling her age 😔 I mention those two because it’s just too overwhelming and feels like Maggie is the only one I can help now. Upon an annual vet visit recently with Maggie….so I could get flea meds for her and her brother Milow that they were due to have…the vet found she had two masses….or tumors. One at the bottom of her back next to her tail (I don’t know how I didn’t see it before I’m so ashamed) and when she pressed on her stomach, my loving Maggie started growling which I can honestly say in the time we’ve had her she’s never done that. We did an X-ray and she found a mass in her stomach 😔 we also did a biopsy. This is just so unexpected and so overwhelming after losing Mimi and knowing we will be losing Billa soon…just can’t lose Maggie also. I hate being in this position. I really pay forward as much as I can. I’ve helped out a couple of women with bags and cases of food for the cat colony’s they feed. One woman with food who has a lot of fosters who needed help with food. I think it’s 3 different pet surgeries I’ve helped contribute to for their treatment. It sucks to be on this side now but I’m really praying somehow it might be my turn to get some help to help Maggie get her ct scan so they can figure out the surgery route to remove the tumor from her stomach. I wish I was in a better situation at this moment to not need any help. We’ve always been there to help our babies no matter what they’ve needed, you have to try at least to help them.. And we’ve been able to pay for it ourselves until now. Now I’m able to work here, it can help set us up for future pet issues….I mean, we do everything for these guys including going to work lol but I’ve literally only had my permanent status the last few days instead of visas and it’s all been on my hubby until now who has been amazing, but after paying for Mimi’s help and then end of life, my flight to and from England for my immigration and all those fees and just paying for everything on his own…there’s a lack of funds now. I just want Maggie to get some help and will somehow have to make this happen for her, so please if you have the means to, you can donate to my paypal which is linked down below

Come on, dude. At least be creative. Please make note of the highlights: dramatic injury, insistence (with evidence!) that the scammer is a Good Person Who Gives Back, Cancer Cat & Old Dog supporting characters, immigration drama regarding visas, sick cat had kittens that were never found, etc.

[speculation incoming] Also, laws regarding the importation of pet animals from other countries are strict, and always involve a vet visit. I doubt a vet would clear a cat with tumors to fly out of the country. Even if they did, the timeline here is weird. This vet clinic is in California. [speculation over]

Okay now let's look at these photos. (PSSST I instantly knew this person was a scammer because I've seen these exact x-rays and screenshots on other posts with different cat images. That's something else to look for. Scammers want to expend as little energy as possible in their hunt for your money.)

Where is the scam coming from?

Hovering over the Paypal link, I see the account is located in the Philippines, a country with a high risk of scam hosting. Red flags on red flags.

How to Reverse Image Search

Find a search engine that will let you search by image. This is Google Images on a Firefox browser on PC. Clicking the little camera gives me the option to upload, paste, or give the URL to a photo.

This time, the photo search wasn't helpful. There were no identical matches that Google picked up right away. But I'm including how to do this anyway because it's good to know.

Search Tumblr

We all know tumblr search sucks, but after looking up "cat scam" in the search bar, I found Everything.

Wait a minute.

SHIT THEY GOT MAVERICK POST CANCELED

@kyra45 appears to have amassed some good resources for finding and documenting these scams.

Be aware, be smart, report scam accounts for spam, block them, and do not post donation links "just in case."

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Wagan

Debut: Wagan

Look! It’s Wagan! From Wagan! What is Wagan (character)? Why, Wagan is a wonderful little green robotic dinosaur sort of guy who is good at making noises! What is Wagan (media)? Good question!

Here is a photo of Wagan in real life. Wagan is real! The original Wagan is an arcade machine by Namco, but I honestly cannot find much information at all about it. I don’t THINK it’s a game. More of an interactive toy? Here is a video! Hear his noises and watch his mouth flap about!

Wagan’s physical prison is labeled THE EMOTIONAL WEAPON, VOICE-CANNON “WAGAN”. I guess this is some kind of. Yelling game? The presence of a megaphone makes me think you yell at Wagan, and Wagan yells at you, and I don’t know the point, but it is really funny, and of course the actual physical Wagan robot is incredibly cute!

Luckily, Wagan would later enter a form of media I CAN comprehend! Scrimblo bimblo platformers! This is Wagan Land, which became Wagan’s Main Thing for a while, and hmm. I have things to say about this.

First is, WOW this game is cute! Look! When Wagan is falling in the air, his mouth flaps up, like Mario’s hat in Super Mario World! That’s so wonderful! And look at that SNAIL! The first enemy you see in the game, and what a great first impression! All the character sprites are delightfully compact. The thing that looks like a Wagan fetus is a Waganizer, which upgrades his Yelling ability, which is used to stun enemies so they can be jumped upon safely.

Very charmingly, Wagan’s yells are represented by the actual sound he says, shot out as a projectile! These have been lovingly translated in the fan translation, so you can make him yell WA, GYA, and GA. If you make him say GA twice, then just call him Lisa Simpson, because he’s Going Gaga!

The Waganizer was first a toy, and this sure looks like a gun huh! But it is a voice recorder and amplifier. I guess it is like having a bit of Wagan of your own, in Weapon form? To Blast your voice at others? I’m not sure why it had to look so incredibly like a gun, though!

Also, this post is about Wagan himself, but I HAVE to mention there is a Mola mola in this game! A pink sleepy one that flies above the water, and is the ONLY creature in the game that Wagan can safely touch by default, allowing him to ride on top of it! I do not know why a robot dies upon touching a snail. Sorry.

This game sounds so lovely, doesn’t it? It does! So it’s too bad it SUCKS and is TERRIBLE and I HATE it so much!!! And I don’t want to do any of that... but it forces me to!

The platforming sections are all fine and dandy. But the bosses, oh dearie me! Instead of battles, they play a minigame with you, and these are absolutely wretched! There is a word chain game and a memory game, neither of which are good, and both of which feel very easy to get locked out of winning due to randomness. And if you lose, you Die. It’s really not fun whatsoever to have to play a minigame you may very well not have any chance of winning, and they are so common that it sadly ruins the whole game... Maybe I’m doing something wrong, but I don’t think it should be so hard to see what to do right! It feels like a game for babies that wants nobody to succeed.

However! I must give a MAJOR shout-out to AlanMidas of romhacking.net for making this English translation of the game, because translating this word chain game and all its intricacies must have been absolute hell! So thank you, AlanMidas! Or curse you? For being the reason I was able to play this at all? But mostly thank you. And I applaud your effort. I mean, they were able to make the pig icon work by referring to it as an “oinker”. I applaud an oinker any day.

Geez, I don’t want to be so negative on one of these posts. I do love Wagan (creature) a whole lot! Want to see him playing baseball?

There we go. Isn’t that droll?

Have another! For your troubles. Sorry, there is just so little English information about Wagan! This is all I can humbly offer. But I hope you love to view Wagan as much as I do! And if you ever see him in real life, yell at him. I think he likes that!

[the-ellia-west]

Merry Christmas Everyone - Character Trauma

Sorry, Y'all. I'm a day late.

I wish I could have posted yesterday but this wasn't on my mind at all lol. I was very sick yesterday, but at least I'm alive!

Here's my Christmas gift to y'all!

Harsh characters vs Kinder Characters - These are general vibes --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Kind/Cute Characters -

Constantly Apologizing

Trying to help people 24/7

Always worried about Disappointing people

Constantly avoiding answering questions

Lying about being okay

Blaming themselves

Always Guilty

Jumpy

Always inches away from crying

Always doing favors for others

Doesn't take care of themselves

If they do, it's only to keep other people from getting worried

Running away from problems

Constantly overreacting to minor inconveniences

Harsh/Reserved characters -

Violent outbursts

TRUST ISSUES

No emotions

What am I?

Breakdowns

Silence makes them irritable

Too much noise also makes them irritable

Hyper-activated Emotions

Emotionally or Physically abusing self on a bad day because it already sucked

Violent intrusive thoughts or words become normal

Pessimism

Constantly overly alert

NO RELAXATION

Trouble relating to anyone in any sort of way

Extra: Dreams

PTSD dreams are usually never anywhere close to the actual events

Flashbacks usually happen when awake

Often dreams are based on the type of trauma

Soldiers are more likely to see blood in dreams

Sexual abuse survivors are more likely to have people attacking or violating them in dreams

Physical abuse survivors are more likely to have loud sounds and other events related to their abuse in their dreams

Of course none of these are specific to each type, and you SHOULD mix and match, but these are generally more likely

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Different people have different trauma reactions, and so should characters. This sounds pretty obvious, but it's rather hard to do in my experience. It also goes to show that different types of trauma or traumatic events will make a different type of character

For example, I have a few of my characters and their trauma responses because Idk how else to explain it.

Character 1 - Marril - Experienced Physical and Emotional abuse, as well as witnessing several deaths and killing several people.

As a Child he used to be very exposed and unable to hide with short hair and a home that was generally very safe and quiet until it wasn't.

He has a tendency to break or destroy things out of resentment or just as a way to make himself feel better. He also generally obsesses over keeping things clean, because it usually meant better treatment at home. He also generally stays away from children because they remind him of the first person he killed. He also sometimes hallucinates blood on his hands, and isolates himself for fear of hurting them. He hides his emotions until he can't anymore and generally has very extreme negative emotions.

He is often mistaken to be much older than he actually is, and is generally very quiet. He also grows out his hair to distance himself from his past and to give himself an easy hiding place when he needs it. He hates people grabbing him, moving quickly, or touching his hair, and sometimes he will hurt or yell at people when even slightly provoked. Silence often triggers overthinking which brings guilt and bad memories, while sudden loud noises cause screaming, fight or flight, or even flashbacks.

Characters 2 & 3 - The Twins, Xhaazi and Kasi - Experienced emotional and Sexual abuse

The two of them have varied Emotional responses. Kasi tends to hide her emotions and act overly aggressive or overly friendly. She tends to be very tense and in many occasions, fight first ask questions later. She cannot tolerate being alone oftentimes and is sometimes clingy. She hates being restrained in any way and is prone to panic attacks and separation anxiety

She's generally a little reserved but becomes a little clingy when she finds people she likes. She is also over-apologetic and tends to cry around people she trusts for no reason. She always has nightmares and tends to enjoy loud noises because they distract her from her overthinking and anxiety.

While on the other hand, her Brother Xhaazi

He was the one who got it worse. He often injures himself when he's alone, hides his emotions extremely well, and tends to enjoy being alone or in silence. His tactics also amount to fight first ask questions later, but he is always in fight or flight mode and never trusts anyone unless given a good reason.

He tends to get very clingy to those he trusts and hates loud noises. He also tends to have a lot more nightmares than his sister and tends to cover up every single emotion he's feeling unless he thinks people will like it. He has depression and a lack of self-preservation along with extreme separation anxiety for his family and no one else when he can't easily get back to them.

So uh... Yeah? Have fun torturing your babies! Just make sure to differ their trauma from one another even if they experienced roughly the same things.

[cosmictapestry]

C16? Can we get some suffering in this Chili’s tonight?

C16. safeword use

yes OF COURSE we can get some suffering

okay so i'm only using "safeword" as like, the trope name, because these guys don't use a safeword since neither of them are into that type of play. all their communication is explicit and implicit and never obfuscating.

additionally this makes use of a concept explored in my fic series we, divinity wherein damage to the dreaming (mass extinctions, genocides, general loss of hope on a wide scale, etc) hurts dream directly. "whump," as the kids say, but i think of it as Pure Horror

prompt list here

They are moving together, sensuous and slow, meeting one another thrust for thrust, skin sliding soft and hot and slick, breath humid and shallow in each other's space. His lips are swollen, parted, allowing the swipe of her tongue across his teeth, drawing blissful noises from him, rumbling purrs in his chest.

He fucks up into her, pulling her hips forward to meet him with a hand gripping her arse, the other hand clenched white-knuckled in the sheets. She runs her own hands up through his hair, holds him at the perfect angle to devour him, to slide her cheek against his when she pitches forward with the push of his cock inside her.

She feels Lord Morpheus duck his head further, bury it in the crook of her neck. His tears cool on her cheek, drop hot on her collarbone, and he heaves, stops moving his hips in favor of gripping her arse in both hands, grinding her up and forward, impaling her and punctuating each movement with a ragged, broken gasp.

Lucienne throws her head back, arches in his lap, slams herself down on him, moves sharp and snapping, feels him still completely, just holding her, not moving at all. She assumes he's coming, assumes everything is going well, even as his arms come up to wrap around her back, hold her close, press his skin all shivering and hot to her own.

She is getting close, burning, trembling, clenching, and she hears him say something. Reluctantly she slows, quiets her breathing, but he doesn't say anything more. "My lord?"

He shakes violently now. "Can we—" and he heaves a breath, sudden, crackling, nails sharp in her hips.

Lucienne slows even more, concern prickling at the back of her neck. "Morpheus—"

"Please stop," he whispers, hurt, tearful.

In one swift movement Lucienne pulls off him, tries to push him back to see his face, but he holds her fast and hides in her neck, and he whimpers like he thinks she's trying to leave. Lucienne, alight with panic, pulls him impossibly closer, one hand buried in his hair and the other arm wrapped around his shoulders. "Alright," she murmurs, "alright, that's fine, alright."

He's shaking apart, choking, clinging to her, every unneeded breath a tight, shivering sob. "Sorry," he manages, like it's important.

"None of that," Lucienne says, too quickly, and he flinches. She is struck by all-too-familiar fear that she will make everything worse, terror because it is so easy to frighten him. “It’s alright, my lord, I promise.”

He makes a sound, disbelieving, wretched, and he quakes.

“Was it something I did?” Lucienne asks, breathless with guilt.

Another sound, this time a vehement negative, punctuated by the way he shakes his head against her neck.

“Alright,” Lucienne breathes, and she pets his hair, and she tries to calm down for his sake, tries not to torture herself with warning signs she paid no notice to. “Just breathe, love, I have you.”

He does as she asks, he breathes, but he does not relax. "You don't. Need to stay," he says.

She closes her eyes. "What's wrong, Morpheus?"

Lord Morpheus does not answer quickly. Speaking at all seems difficult right now, the words jumbled in the chaos of everything else. "Hurts," he whispers, and then flinches, and he tucks his head in closer.

"Alright," she says. She understands, suddenly, can feel the creeping cold of the realm moving through her being, the echoes of a wound he cannot contain within himself. It's been millennia since she's seen him bow this way under injury. Pain made all the more intolerable in the midst of pleasure. "I've got you, I'm right here."

"You don't have to be," he gasps. "This is not—" He cuts himself off, leases breath harsh against her skin between holding it, like he's trying not to scream, tense and trembling like he's trying to push all the broken-glass parts of himself back into their prison. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

Lucienne gulps in a breath, feels it rattle with the tears building from her chest. "Please stop apologizing," she kisses the top of his head, turns her cheek into his hair, tries in vain to settle his shivering tension with soft pressure, safe sensation. "I want to be here. I always want to be here."

"I don't understand you," he spits, suddenly venomous, suddenly enraged even with his arms gentle around her waist. "This cannot be what you want. No one is so patient, no one can be. You're lying. You're waiting for something—"

"Stop that," she whispers to him. "Don't do that. I'm not leaving."

"Why?" he sobs, devastated again. "I have nothing for you. This is all you ask of me and I cannot even—"

"This is all I ask of you," she insists, and she kisses his hair again and again. "My king, my lord, my love."

He melts into her, finally, turns his face against her chest, all agony in the wake of some tragedy she will read about in her library tomorrow. He shivers and he cries, silently, while the pervasive wrongness and chill sinks into the foundation of the Dreaming and then becomes part of it, undetectable. He folds it up inside him, painstakingly, and he clings to her through it.

"How often does this happen, my lord?" Lucienne asks, when his breathless sobs subside enough that she thinks he'll be able to answer. "While we are intimate, I mean."

His voice is raw, apologetic and bitter when he finally manages to speak. "I cannot help it."

"No, I—" she squeezes her eyes shut again, runs her hand in broad circles over the smooth expanse of her back. "I know. I know. I just—my lord, you can always say no, we can always slow down or stop or—I'm never going to be angry with you. Please tell me you understand that."

He kisses along her collarbone, like he's trying to distract her, or just thinking through his response. "I do," he croaks. "I do. You must understand..." her lord's shoulders heave. "This is never. I am never. Free of this."

Lucienne does understand this. Of course she does. She understands it better than anyone else. She just hates it, hates it so much it's a physical presence in the pit of her stomach, this agony for him, this rage at the unfairness of the universe from its primordial beginnings. "If you cannot let me help you, at least don't let me make it worse."

"All you do is help," he responds, the quickest he's managed to speak all night. "You are kind, and you wait for me. You wait for me even when you are so lonely you want to scream just so someone will ask you what's wrong." Another heavy, breathless pause. "I don't know how you do it. Or why."

"It's not so hard," Lucienne murmurs into his hair. He so rarely speak about how he experiences her, how she appears to him in all his inconceivable perception. "And I love you. You are my dearest friend, and I love you."

He says nothing more, drained and reeling from a blow that he does not let touch her. Tomorrow she will figure out what the damage was, so she might find words to soothe him—or so she might say nothing at all, and she might just hold him through the night.

[mdhwrites]

I know you've been asked this before, but still, now since toh has ended would you consider giving Arcane a chance? Not right away but maybe when feel like it. 👀

I promise it's not a bad show, I watched it after starting toh to pass the time. It's only 1 season for now and it has just 9 episodes, but these episodes are so packed! The world building is easy to grasp, the characters do interact, there's development, it has a diverse female cast and fighting scenes. There's at least 3 conflicts that interconnect at the end.

The thing about it that amazes me is that it does so much in such a little short time, 9 episodes only. I often compare it toh and wonder about how much toh could've done if they knew how to plan beforehand, because toh had all the time in the world in comparison. (I'm mentioning this because I'm also bitter about the shortening thing being thrown around to excuse the bad writing).

So I will 100% admit that Arcane sounds entirely up my alley. It's in a universe that has had literally over a decade to flesh out its lore and ideas, characters they've been working with for at least half the games life cycle, it has rave reviews, lesbians, the animation is GORGEOUS, I've actually heard surprisingly little analyzing the plot and that could be fun for me. I... just don't know why I haven't watched it. And it's not like I'm so busy as to not watch shows. I watch WAY too much Youtube and streams. That stuff is mostly mindless and pure entertainment and I can't make blogs or stories about it. But that might also be exactly why I don't watch much scripted content. See, I watch a lot of stuff while I'm on walks to have some noise going, or music while I think about writing ideas, or while I'm playing a game or the like. It's distraction. It's to turn off the part of my brain that's too wound up and emotional and analytical. Also a lot of media has the unfortunate problem of me going "What can I be inspired by this for?" Which if I was going full blast would be great! At 8k words a day, having things to distract me or keep my motor running would be almost necessary. And that's technically a conservative statement as when I first joined TOH, I did 200k words in 2 weeks. That's 15k a day. The fact that it took me months to burn out during that time period is a miracle. But when I'm depressed? Those ideas honestly hurt more than anything else. I still haven't done Amphibia blogs because I just can't get myself to bring my thoughts together independently on the subject for some reason despite the fact that I DO have things to talk about, whether that be talking about what sells the characters as family to me, what makes Sasha's introduction one of the best charismatic villains I've ever seen, how Hop Pop is showcase of fantasy trauma done right, why people CAN skip the first season and how insane that is and even for a more negative one: Why Marcy is so far easily the most awkward element of the show so far that I've seen. Not even bad but just not nearly as natural as the rest. And yes, while I'm still only at the First Temple, you can still send me Amphibia asks. It honestly helps my literal personality disorder to be responding to asks instead of making them myself.

I don't know. I wish I did. My head is a chaotic mess and I honestly just need to learn to calm down a lot more but my literal two main disciplines as a creator require my brain to be on. at maximum volume all the time. And it only gets worse when I go "Well what about Amphibia, or that TMNT series, or Molly Mcgee- Oh but you really ought to be looking for something new. Preferably something you can write for within its first week of airing. Even better if before then. Got to get that ENGAGEMENT after all! GROW YOUR COMMUNITY!" *sigh* And I don't want this to make you all feel bad. PLEASE let me know what you're interested in seeing me maybe talk about. I commonly forget about Arcane because it just flies under my radar for the most part for some reason. Just understand I'm slow to move. I'm trying to get better but I don't know when or if I'll ever be good at it. Edit: Because I feel like it, I do want to shout out a few channels I like to watch. Youtube: Noah Caldwell Gervais is one of the best video game essayists out there. When I talk about just putting on something to zen out to for a few hours... Well, I've watched his 8 hour Resident Evil Retrospective twice. He also has a great, dry sense of humor and great analytical skills. Todd in the Shadows is where I go for pop song reviews. Honestly, I'm pulled in more by his One Hit Wonderland Series and his Trainwreckords but it's also nice getting incite on modern pop music. If you're into animation, you NEED New Frame Plus in your life. Daniel Floyd is absolutely amazing at his job, he's ex-Pixar so that's not surprising, and pretty much all I know about animation comes from that channel. Absolutely phenomenal work. Twitch: CauseImDanJones is my favorite streamer period. Not only is his chill vibes immaculate, he has this insane talent to say the most bat shit crazy things and act like they're entirely normal. He never is an over the top streamer but he still manages some of that "WHAT JUST HAPPENED!?" energy those people have. JHobz296 is someone you likely know if you watch GDQ. For those who don't know him though: He's my go to for speedrun content. He does a lot of Kingdom Hearts speedruns, does a lot of Kingdom Hearts 2 Rando WAY better than I do and when he does variety, he keeps it laid back and casual. (I like chill streamers). Gilbot9000 is my last callout. He does a lot of fighting game streams and likes to throw it back old school, or play games with an old school vibe to them. He's a nice dude and a good friend of mine so I'd be remiss to not mention him.

[muchadoaboutnot]

⚔️

The way he breathes through his nostrils so heavily, Leto eyes Samson suspiciously when he makes it up to her.

The sounds of Skyhold can be heard all around them now. Just beyond the door they stand at, the rest of the Hold is full of life. They've done a number of repairs on this fortification and The Inquisition so far has attracted a number of people. To Leto, it's fine, it almost seems like Kirkwall but nicer. But to Samson, it's noise, noise, and more noise and now he's going to get stared at.

"Are you okay?" These are her first words to him, not something she was going to originally say as she had a whole little quip inside her mind. But now concern won over that.

Right away the man himself wants to bite back, the thought of having her pity him leaves an unpleasant feeling in the pit of him. Even though he's well aware of the state he is in.

"The dispel took a lot out of me."

At his response she gives an incredulous look, "Then why did you do it?"

Through gritted teeth, he closed his eyes slowly. "Because you asked."

A pregnant silence settles between them, Leto even wonders if she should make Samson walk back down the stairs and be done with it. But she's stubborn and pushes on.

"Alright, well... We can just catch our breath a li-"

"Don't pity me."

Samson's biting reply causes Leto to turn her whole body towards him, using her hands to emphasize how she feels.

"Look. We are going to spend a lot of time together, so if we get along that'll help, yeah?"

The man eyes her, clearly, he has choice words but he picks his battles and only makes a noise of agreement. It's not a grunt, and it sort of makes Leto frown but also it's comical so she feels like one of those tragedy and comedy masks at the same time.

"Good. Good..." She nods her head and looks thoughtful.

"Now what?"

At his question, Leto starts to think of all the things they need to do and what a good order to do them in. Point in case she eyes him critically, causing him to look away from her and cross his arms over his front. Fidgeting on his feet.

"How about... Sleeping quarters, Clothes, bath, and then food."

Samson almost feels relief just from her words, the thought of taking a bath sounds like heaven to him, and everything else is an added bonus.

"Yeah, yeah that sounds good." His tone has softened for the first time since they've started talking. A grateful look somewhere in the back of his dark eyes before he flicks his gaze away and out towards the immediate courtyard in front of them.

Leto just nods and gives a jerk of her head and he gets the idea, and they start to walk.

Now Leto herself is used to stares, mostly admiring, mostly positive. So to get strange ones, anything negative, it's a sort of novelty to her; her attitude is nonchalant and she breezes past people easily. It's Samson following behind who finds jealousy in how she's unaffected by all the stares and whispers. Although granted he knows he should be locked away, he's well aware of what he's done and he knows a lot of the people staring are probably people who would rather have seen him be executed. But as it was he was currently doing his best to ignore everything going on around him and keep up with Hawke.

A couple of times he sees her peeking back at him, probably making sure he's following. Funny he thinks how she's already trusting him to just follow along, although he feels worst in knowing she's right to assume because he doesn't have anything in him to do anything but what she wants him to do right now. He feels sort of lost and drifting, therefore it's easy to let someone else do the thinking. For now.

"Are you listening?" When Leto's voice pierces through Samson's thoughts he almost runs into her back, she's stopped in her tracks right in front of him. Holding out his arms to steady himself and almost touches her before he wobbles on his feet momentarily and centers himself. An annoyed look on his features immediately.

"What?"

"I was saying, you'll be sharing the tower I took for myself with me." She turns her head and points up to one of the towers on the ramparts. There are several of them around the hold, each has something different inside, Cullen has one himself with his desk and office at the bottom, while a loft at the top. "When I first joined the Inquisition they were halfway done with a lot of stuff, so I claimed one that had got untouched still. Hestia asked if I wanted a room inside, but I prefer out here." She's friendly now and just conversing with him.

Samson however thinks to himself he doesn't really care but is trying to be polite. "This means more stairs." Is all he can say and that makes the woman in front of him look away, she's trying not to laugh or giggle. Because the observation he makes is right and the way she knows how he handles stairs is sort of...

"Yeah, well, you'll get used to it. We'll be going up and down a lot, so it's good exercise."

Again Leto leads him up the stone steps, although it's easier going because at one point the crisp and cooling air of the mountain top feels exquisite. Like luxury itself, Samson thinks. Even though the dungeon isn't anything near as gross or bad as it could be, it is still stifled and humid. So to be outside and up on the ramparts now he takes in the air and looks out, the view itself is beautiful. Something inside his chest constricts and he's almost in disbelief in himself how good it feels to be out of the cell, how much he missed something like the sky.

His handler, however, she slows and watches him look around. She can see something on his face that's several different emotions, again she feels the pity feeling but tells herself to stop. Its no use feeling bad for him, again, he's out now so she tells herself to keep to the present and waits for him.

Appreciation at her waiting, Samson begins to follow along again.

Leto's tower isn't big, and when she opens the door it's unassuming. There's no decorations but it's swept clean with a small table and two chairs in a makeshift foyer-looking area. While there's three doors all closed. One door is on the left of the table, and the other door is on the right. While the third door is away from the rest.

"Right. So the door all by its lonesome is the water closet. Don't ask how I managed a toilet in her, but I did. Now the door to the left of the table is my room, the right is your room."

That causes Samson to whistle. "I get my own room?"

Leto simply shrugs, "Did you think you'd be in the barracks with the soldiers? Or every night you'd descend back to your cell?"

Actually, he did think he was going to his cell every night but he doesn't speak his thoughts.

"Anyways, the rooms are tiny because this tower isn't meant to be, you know, an actual tower for living in. The walls are thin but I made them with force magic, using leftover stone."

She walks towards the door that'll be his room and opens it, he trails in while she stays in the doorway. It's unassuming and she's right, small, but it has a basic bed, a small table and... A tub.

"There's a tub in here."

"Yeah... This room used to just be the one I took a bath in, because one day I decided I didn't want to use the communal one so I dragged a bathtub up here, so I had my own room, a bathroom, and a water closet." She looks sort of proud of herself before chuckling. "Sorry, the tub stays, but hey whenever you want to take a bath you get first dibs. But that also means when I want to take a bath you're kicked out of your room, obviously."

Samson doesn't say anything to that and simply walks over to his new bed and sits down. He can't help himself and a huge sigh of relief leaves his body, sinking down he puts his elbows on his knees and sort of sags forward. Running his hands over his face and head. Leto watches all of this in silence before she breaks it.

"What size shirt and pants do you wear?"

"What?" When he glances up at her, there's some confusion before recognition and he tells her.

Leto herself nods and then she walks into his room, but then she looks apologetic and sheepish. "Oh, um, I'm coming in, sorry."

The fact that she felt the need to apologize to him is rather comical, yet Samson does appreciate it even though he feels weird about the whole situation still. So he can't do much in reply except shrug and let her do as she pleases.

Taking that as it's okay she walks to the side of the tub, creating a fist over it and slowly a little cloud begins to appear and it rains. He watches in fascination as the tub is filled. It takes a little over 5 minutes though, it's not instant. The instant part is when Leto warms the water with fire magic and he has a hot bath.

"Ta-da!" She so proud of herself when she looks at Samson he doesn't know how to react right away. Her genuine feelings make him feel off, he thinks he hasn't been around people enough to react properly anymore. Something the cells took from him but also he feels... Undeserving of this treatment.

At a lack of response, Leto becomes quiet, looks around, and then starts to exit his room, subdued by his silence yet before she leaves she: "I'll grab you clothes. They'll be standard things soldiers wear, also there's a soap with lime in the table right there, and a scrubby pad." After that, she closes the door behind herself and he's left alone.

[wirelessclocksystemforschool]

The Ideal School Sound System

A school sound system is designed to stand out of everybody within earshot via loud noises, hence promoting interaction with a mass audience. Sound in the school system may encompass bells, tone generators, whistles, horns, and anything else that causes interruption. Here we explore the criteria and characteristics of such a plan that would recognize as perfect.

The college sound system is certainly found in essentially every educational setting, though one can see them occasionally in other environments. The vital determiner is usually whether one of the most efficient network for getting to people is the feeling of hearing. Additionally, an essential relevant aspect is the accuracy and synchronization of all timekeeping devices.

From the town crier to the summoning of church bells in the steeple, there is a lengthy custom of using sound to communicate info to a whole community. A lot of the moment that details is merely the alert to "listen up," but sometimes signals are actually inscribed into the sound. An acoustic tool is so effective due to the fact that hearing is thought about the most delicate feeling.

Via the years cutting-edge methods have been created to offer meaning by differing somehow the distinct alerts sent out. The message may be to construct in the area, ahead to church, or to grieve a fatality; nevertheless, the fundamental intent is to have every person quit what they're doing and either focus on something that follows or to take a certain activity. After that there are the school bells that ring in pairs, the first showing that it's time to switch class, the second noting when to obtain peaceful and listen to the educator.

Now, when bells or tones are played throughout a campus, it is vital that they all sound together in unison. Or else, there could not just be weird stage effects causing disorientation, yet confusion could arise over which bell means what. A single resource of the sharp theoretically gets rid of such negative effects, but this remedy is impractical when ranges over which it need to carry are undue or its decibel degree becomes also extreme.

One means to acquire synchronization throughout campus is to mark a master clock that itself synchronizes to an atomic clock or network, and after that subsequently sets the time for all various other watches (and tools) in the system. An option, more contemporary strategy is to mount a GPS bell scheduler (a satellite time source) to synchronize in lockstep all clocks and sound systems. This helps with individuals movement and also acts as a means to arrange news over a PA system.

Getting the synchronizing signal to each wrist watch was traditionally completed with cords. This works well, however one needs to incur some installation and upkeep costs. In fact, you have to anticipate the whole facilities ultimately depreciating into obsolescence.

Nowadays the only means to go is wireless synchronization. This eliminates the wiring prices, and updating, changing, and changing framework components is relatively easy. A great benefit is too much loading is not a problem, there is absolutely nothing to impinge on reliable operation, and the variety of receptors on the system is limitless.

In the very early days of cordless transmissions, radio frequency interference could be a trouble. Now the technology has evolved to where this is no longer an issue because the systems these days are assigned specialized transmission frequencies.

Making use of sounds in educational settings has actually continued to develop to the point where tone generators are incorporated with the clocks and bells, sometimes with high class. As an example, tonal patterns can be made to convey their own special definitions. Administrators have found that with what is available today, they have comprehensive adaptability and are able to create the suitable institution sound system that benefits them.

hospital clocks systems

[theelvenhaven]

Ghost Hunting with the Elves

Rivendell

Elrond

When it comes to ghost hunting, Elrond isn’t going to exactly be keen on the idea of wanting to go searching for any kind of trouble. So if he joins you, it is certainly going to be done with the expectations that you are either cleansing the space or helping spirits crossover to Mandos.

Elrond isn’t afraid of what it is lurking in the dark, but that doesn’t mean that his guard isn’t up. He’s not likely to react to anything strange that happens, or anything but seemingly he expects it. Elrond is also very conversative with the spirits that are lurking around- gentle with those benevolent and trying to help them find peace so they can move on. Firm and commanding with those not so much. 

Elrond as much as he wasn’t keen on the idea originally, really enjoys doing this with you in his spare time. You’ll probably find that he will subtly ask you when you two can do such a thing again. Happy to tag along with you every time, and also showing you how to protect yourself and help those lonely spirits move on too. 

Elladan

Unlike his brother, Elladan believes in both the bad and good kind of spirits, definitely seeing that there is a balance when it comes to the paranormal. For once mor like minded with his father than Elrohir who usually is. Elladan loves a good adrenaline rush, so when you invite him to go ghost hunting with you, he is all game for it. 

Elladan certainly doesn’t go unprepared though for such an endeavor, making sure that he knows banishing techniques to be able to ward off negative entities as well as a few cleansing ones. That way neither of you are bringing anything back from these haunted places. You’ll find that you won’t need much to prove to Elladan that ghosts exist, he enjoys running through the what could’ve beens or whys especially when they lead to one conclusion: ghosts.

You’ll find that Elladan is really jumpy the whole entire time, and he finds it absolutely hilarious. That iron gate down the hall slammed shut really loudly? Jumps. Unexpected and sudden moaning? Jumps. Some loud unexplained noise? Jumps. You touching him without him expecting it? Jumps. He finds the whole ordeal hilarious and has a really great time being out in such a spooky setting.

Elrohir

When you invite Elrohir to go ghost hunting with you, Elrohir isn’t going because he believes in benevolent spirits and wants to see if you can find them. He’s going because he certainly believes in the malevolent kind, and doesn’t want you in harms way. Elrohir certainly goes in armed with techniques he’s learned from his father in dealing with them much like his brother. 

Everything you discover, or make note of, or even witness with your own eyes that isn’t a danger to you or himself is completely and totally written off or explained away. It gets pretty comical with how hard he tries to explain away everything that happens. Eru forbid if you hear any voices speaking to you and no matter how gentle it is, Elrohir will in fact try and explain it away.

It’s best if you ignore any of his dismissal to your benevolent spirits. Though try as you might to present evidence and give him burdens of proof, there is just no convincing Elrohir that you are there for anything than banishing negative entities from the place. Though if you do encounter any malevolent spirits, for him it’s only proving his case and this is why he’s glad you didn’t come alone. Unlike his brother he doesn’t scare easy and is quick to handle the situation. 

Arwen

When you tell Arwen that you are going to go ghost hunting and you want her to come with you she honestly finds that it is a horrible idea. Elrond has taught her many things about spirits- good and bad- and knows how dangerous things can get. While she knows you are less likely to run into anything bad, the risk is certainly there. 

You’ll find that she is more likely to try and convince you not to go at all. She runs through a list of reasons as to why you shouldn’t do any ghost hunting because of things that can attach, what you can bring home, the danger you could be in both against spirits and just being a place by yourself. As much as she wants to go with you to her it’s just a no go. 

She won’t like it if you decide to go without her, but she won’t stop you either. Arwen will thoroughly have her father look you over when you get back, making sure there is nothing attached to you and that you are safe. Before she will finally let you talk to her about what all you experienced and what all you saw while you were there. 

Erestor

When you tell Erestor that you want to go ghost hunting, I think that you will find that he is surprisingly receptive to the whole ordeal. The little secret he has been keeping to himself? He’s pretty sure there may be one in the library, so it he is secretly curious about the supernatural and spirits, etc.

Erestor will do a lot of research ahead of the ghost hunting in an effort to make the ordeal easier to handle. He will learn about the history of the place, the proclaimed ghosts to haunt the area and their life story if he can find anything about them. He does a lot of in depth work to aid in your investigation. 

Erestor does indeed scare, but he hides it deep down and very well at that. He doesn’t get jumpy or scream out, but he does get very tense and aggressive. If anything him being scared makes him really angry, though he won’t take it out on you just because he’s scared. Regardless though, ghost hunting with Erestor will certainly be a memorable experience. 

Lindir

Try as you might to take Lindir ghost hunting with you, the very idea sends terror through him at having to indulge in such a thing. If Lindir worked up the courage to join you, you’ll find that you will quite literally be having to hold his hand the whole way through the haunted places.

Everything makes him really nervous- strange sounds, smells, hearing voices, or doors closing on their own. He grips your hand really tightly and stays right on top of you as you two walk through the place. Lindir keeps quiet and really dislikes when you invite any ghosts to come and speak or interact with you. He’s nervous something bad would happen to you. 

You’re really better off calling it a night early, or not taking him at all. It really puts him far more at ease when he’s not having to run around strange buildings in an effort to “look” for the spirits. Lindir very much likes being at home cozied up together as opposed to that.

Glorfindel

To be perfectly honest, when you bring up ghost hunting with Glorfindel, the first thing he is going to want to do is shield you and the spirits from one another. Knowing they are all tormented and lingering. Yet at your protests he takes your words into consideration before joining you on your endeavor, in the event that something happens to you.

Glorfindel, to the spirits, is like a big beaming beacon of wonderful energy for them to interact with. Every time you bring him you will probably find that they all flock to him and your investigation is chock full of spirit activity. Especially positive spirit activity, as the more malevolent beings are even afraid of him. Seeing that despite their spirit form, he probably could deal with them no matter what. 

Glorfindel becomes very receptive to ghost hunting with you, and enjoys very much seeing how you and the spirits interact with one another. He gets highly amused when the spirits interact with him, and is just a big warm ball of sunshine interacting with them in return. Which is why the spirits would like him so much. 

Bonus

Haldir

Haldir honestly isn’t keen on the idea of going ghost hunting, let alone you going ghost hunting. Especially alone. So it is mandatory, despite what you think, that he goes with you. Haldir is full of a lot of knowledge about the world, so you will find that he is giving you in depth history and lore lessons about the places that you are frequenting for these.

Haldir is on high alert the whole time that you are there, watching every dark corner to see what else might be lurking in the room. And soothing you when the dark corners seem a little too dark and frightening so you can keep your investigation going. He’s happy to hold your hand and let you drag him all through wherever you may be. 

He certainly believes in spirits and the supernatural, but wants you to adhere to whenever he says something is dangerous. Haldir will absolutely put his foot down with you, he doesn’t care how interesting the investigation has gotten for you. If it’s dangerous and he says to bail, it’s time to bail. 

* * * 

Tags: @saviorsong​ @lilmelily​ @dicksoutformtl​ @fandomhoe101​ @celebrimbor-telperinquar​ @red-riding​ @miriel-estelwen​ @ta-ka-shi-ma​ @nerdysimpy​ @thegirlwithoutaname87​ @anunexpectedsideblog​ @spidergirla5​ @eunoiaastralwings​ @eternalabysss​

[twst-drabbles]

Valenio 1

Summary: During the days when his curse doesn’t flare up, when he can properly think without being consumed by this never ending hunger, Valenio likes to sit next to you, no matter the annoyances. Doesn’t matter if people stare at him, just as long as they know his place next to you cannot be challenged.

(I said I would write my OC’s as yandere’s. I intend to keep that promise.)

The cafeteria wasn’t a place Valenio often goes to, nor does he see any need to linger more than needed. Not only was this place too far from the lab he was let out from, there’s also just too much noise for him, too many things that distract him from his own thoughts. Eating in peace was a luxury that Valenio can rarely find when in here. Especially since many of the newer, more sheltered students tend to stare at him and his climbing plates of food.

Valenio’s confidence wasn’t so brittle as to crumble under the weak, nervous whispers of gossiping students looking for a new topic to speak of. He’s made his rounds in Pomefiore before, he can handle a brutal verbal beating or two. Compared to them, all of this was child’s play. Staying away from here wasn’t a matter of pride so much as it was to protect his head.

The messy layers of noises pick at his brain, leaving him irritated. And when he finally gets to the safety of his quieter dorm, he’s left exhausted just from stewing in it.

So then, why would Valenio linger here despite all these negatives? Well, that’s because you were here, with people that think they have what it takes to be close to you, that think they deserve it. There’s a man with red hair and a heart on his face, a little beast trying to dig his claws into the other’s plate, and another man with a spade trying to sneak a fork into your food.

Really, you should be more picky with your friends. But, he won’t stop you. He also won’t stop said friends from fleeing from you with a well placed scare or two.

Valenio’s steps were naturally loud and clear, though it was lost in the cacophony of noise around him. It was only when he sat down next to you, when the seat and table shook with his height and weight did this group you were in pause.

Spade retracted his fork, Trappola had wide eyes that immediately narrowed, and Grim hid half his face with the table. He still managed to snatch a piece of cheesy bread, though not from your plate, thankfully.

Valenio’s not surprised when Trappola barked.

“Alright, who said you could sit with us?” He looked more than ready to flip the plate at him, despite the tremble in his hands.

From the side, you gave a big, well placed yawn. Immediately, whatever tension Valenio naturally brings was gone. You were not tense, which was only natural. You both know each other, after all.

You greeted Valenio with a bumping of shoulders. “What’s up, Valenio?”

Valenio couldn’t help but stare directly at your little friends, just to remind them that he was there, and force them to watch as he leaned down to your ear to whisper in a baritone voice, “I finished the catch up guide you wanted. All the basic and mandatory information should help with adjusting.”

It’s amazing to him how often people forget that you’re not from here at all, that you are missing what most would consider the most basic of basics. Trying to learn what others had grew up with in such a short time frame can’t be easy.

Valenio couldn’t help pressing up against you. There’s a part of him that wants nothing more than to kiss the top of your head, but, he’ll have to make do with what he can get away with, and that’s proximity. He drank in the confused expressions on those two students faces, of both confusion and deeply hidden, probably undiscovered envy as you allowed for Valenio to touch you.

You were comfortable with him. It made Valenio’s heart soar.

You took the notebook he so carefully crafted. “Hey, thanks buddy.”

You patted his back in thanks, coaxing a chuckle right out of him.

[redpensandgreenarrows]

About Benedict Bridgerton:

Okay, so I want to talk about 2 scenes that I don't think are being discussed enough when it comes to our beloved Ben. One, because I think it shows how Benedict is more than just the "funny man", and why he's taking Anthony's paying for his art school so hard. And two, because the moments are small, but I love them so much!! (And I fall in love with Ben a little bit harder.)

Moment 1:

Moment 2:

Benedict cares. Benedict cares SO FUCKING MUCH. While you can consider him probably the snarkiest out of all the siblings - well male siblings - Benedict knows when shit is real, and he needs to be serious. Like the true romantic that his is, Benedict loves with his whole heart. And that definitely includes his family. He just wants them happy and will help in whatever way he can.

With Benedict and Anthony being so close - being each others' best friends - he recognizes that Anthony is struggling terribly in these moments. After the disaster wedding, Benedict sees Anthony stressing out and is the only one to ask Anthony what he needs. All the noise and panic from the other family members is not helping. And when Kate is hurt, although she definitely takes priority, Benedict knows he can't help her in that moment, so he looks to who else he can help. And the one person in that room without any immediate support is Anthony. So, Benedict of course asks "Are you alright?", because Anthony is obviously affected by this situation too. He doesn't need a doctor, but he does need help. Benedict, without thought, offers that support.

Now, Anthony, being the emotionally stunted mess that he is, does not know how to process those questions, those invitations of help. He's so used to being the strong one and tamping emotions down. Emotions slow down a person, and shit needs to get done. This is why he runs. Anthony doesn't know how to accept the help.

Now, how does this factor into why Ben is so hurt? Benedict willingly offers himself to be the support, the cheerleader, because that's part of how you love! So, it's not a far jump to assume he would expect the same in return. It's his family! They all want to see each other succeed and be happy! However, you don't do that with money, status, or power. You show support by being there physically and emotionally for people. Because, if what you're doing is not affected by money, status, or power, then you want genuine input without all that attached. (And I'm speaking in the general sense. Do all those things make creating art easier, yes, but I mean anyone can create art, you don't HAVE to have those things.)

So, when Anthony - throughout the entire season - makes comment after comment about Ben's work, his "doodles", and then come to find out Anthony paid for his spot in the art school, Benedict finds it easy to accept all those negative thoughts that he really isn't that good of an artist. People just care because of a family name. When in reality, Anthony was so focused on himself, he couldn't pull his head out of his ass every once in a while and come up for air. Actions have consequences.

And why do I love these moments so much? There's just something about a man genuinely asking to help emotionally. And you hear it in his voice! (I could wax poetic about how I think Luke T is a fucking acting genius, but I know you know already 😉.) It makes me want to swoon! 😊

Well, that's my ramble. If you made it to the end, thanks for reading!

[iwalc]

Surprise- Brian May x Reader

It was late. You sat on the sofa reading a book in front of the fireplace when you zoned out. You started to look around you and saw how beautiful your life had become. You were married to the one and only person you ever loved and together you had built this beautiful, incredible life. 2 years ago, 3 years into your marriage with Brian, you decided to have a child, a token of your love for each other. It was a rough start. There were numerous times where it didn't work at all, other times when you peed on the stick, soon after seeing a positive test, the excitement was immense and when you told Brian he got so excited, all of this to then be broken by the news of miscarriage. It broke the both of you but somehow you still managed to carry on. And for the reward of not giving in you could finally tell Brian once again that you were pregnant, and that time, all went well. In August 1980 you could finally give birth to a bouncing baby girl. It was a strange feeling, suddenly the gravity of your universe shifted and everything revolved around this tiny human, the beautiful Amanda that you and your husband, the love of your life had created and would cherish forever.

You had Brian, your beautiful girl Amanda, you had a beautiful and warm atmosphere you could call home, and there was nothing more that you wanted in life. Until a few months ago.

Your husband had started to secretly give you hints until he finally sat down with you and spat it out.

"Love?" he called silently since Amanda was sleeping, from the living room as you were in the bathroom catching up some laundry. "Yes, gorgeous" you answered just as you accomplished the task at hand. "Could you come here for a minute, there is something I'd like to talk to you about", "Ofc, I'll just wash my hands first". You thought about it as you washed your hands in the warm water. It must be something that's been on his mind for a while since whenever it's something ordinary he just spits it out, out of nowhere. You were curious.

When you walked towards the living room you saw him sitting on the sofa, his elbows resting on his knees, face in his hands. This worried you quite a bit. "Hey, what's up?" you asked as you sat down next to him, your hand automatically landing on his thigh. "I uh, I... There is something that's been on my mind" he started, looking down at his feet signalling his nervousness. "Well, I figured, I've noticed there's been something on your mind lately, but I didn't want to push you into talking with me if you didn't feel ready to." you gently said as you squeezed his tight gently. "I haven't found the right time to tell you and talk to you about it" he continued. "I want to know what's on your mind, love" you answered, really wanting to know. He turned his head to look at you for a moment, his curls falling off his shoulder, a smile tugging at his lips. "Do you want me to just spit it out or with some background information?" he asked chuckling a bit, "Do you think background information will be necessary?" you asked him smiling while adoring his beautiful features. His hazel, soft eyes, his prominent cheekbones, his jawline, his beautiful dark curls framing his gorgeous face. "No, not really. I uhm", "Brian, love, I know you are nervous but it's just me, spit it out", "I want another baby Y/N" he blurted out, waiting worriedly for your reaction, a small smile daring to tug at his lips. You were quite shocked, to be honest, it wasn't what you thought your husband had been thinking so much about. "You know Amanda is growing quickly, she's almost 2 years old now and I uhm, it would be nice to give her some company and" he didn't get to finish his explanation because of you interrupting him with a kiss. Taking him by surprise.

It was a brilliant idea. It made your stomach flutter with butterflies. You pulled back from the passionate kiss, seeing his chocked state made you laugh. He smiled at you, adoration poured into the gaze that reached your face. "I'd love to expand our family and have another child with you!" you squeaked, flying into his arms, which in turn led to chuckles escaping Brian's throat. The sound filled your heart and once again you thought about how perfect your life had become. You were so in love with everything, but most importantly Amanda and Brian.

The way he got so excited. The way his hazel eyes got deeper with adoration and excitement. The way his smile reached his eyes. The way he hugged you, telling you how happy you made him, how in love he was with you and to share his life with you. The way he existed. Your heart ached with love for this man.

And that day, it was set, you were going to try for a new baby. It wasn't always easy, already having a child to take care of, as well as Brians sometimes strange working schedule. However, to you, it was quite obvious it had worked. You were experiencing some symptoms, which reminded you of your first pregnancy: Absent period, hormonal imbalance, tender breasts, bloated, nausea in the mornings. Even Brian noticed some changes:

You had just gotten out of a late-night shower and were just going to change into your pyjama shirt when Brian suddenly commented something you found very strange. "Love, have you been missing your period?" he blurted out. This was something you never ever thought he'd ever think of, never the less keep track off. You turned around to stare at him, "Yes, in fact, I have, why?". "No, I was just thinking, I reckon you told me last month that we had to buy more pads and tampons til' this time, but neither of us has bought any and you have been feeling quite fine compared to how you use to feel when the time of the month comes around." he said like it was nothing, you just starred at him incredulously, at awe of the attention he had paid. "What? Did I say something wrong?" he asked as his face fell. "No, no you didn't. I'm just amazed by the attention you pay to those kinds of things. I wasn't prepared for the question nor the explanation for it." you said and chuckled as you dragged the shirt over your head. Walking to the bed you smiled to yourself, wow, what a man. As you buried yourself under the quilt, snuggling up to Brian who gladly put his arm around you he blurted out another incredulous comment. "I also can't help to notice that your breast has gotten bigger". You laughed at the comment. "I don't know if they're bigger, but tender they definitely are. How do you notice all of these things?" you couldn't help but ask as you looked up at him. "Well, I don't know, I guess I just do. And I've known you for about ten years now, and we've been together for almost eight of those. I would like to say I know you very well" he stated. "Well yes, you definitely do, and I love you for it!" you said as you reached up for a kiss, he chuckled a bit and smiled into the kiss.

Brian didn't ask anything after that, you know he had his suspicions but neither of you wanted to get the hopes up too early, regarding all of the tries before Amanda. However, after emptying your stomach one morning, you decided that it would be time to take a test. Brian couldn't be with you this time since he had work at the studio that had to be done, and since Amanda was spending time with her grandparents, Ruth and Harold, you figured it would be a perfect time. Since Brian wasn't home, nor did he know you were going to take a test, you decided to keep it a secret until you knew the result and decided to take it from there.

You had pregnancy tests laying around in a draw in the bathroom. You took one, peed on it, and while waiting for a result you went to eat some breakfast. Coming back to the bathroom to look at the test, you suddenly became very nervous, you really wanted it to be positive! You would hate to break the news to Brian, telling him that it was negative and that the symptoms had been a result of something else. You took a deep breath and grabbed the test. You slowly turned it around, feeling the nervousness clearly increase. All the fear suddenly washed away, it was positive.

Suddenly you felt all the emotions in the world all at once. Tears started to drip from your eyes as you smiled like crazy. The excitement was a fact which resulted in several exited screams and runs throughout the house. If anyone could see you they'd probably think you'd be crazy. But you didn't care because you were the happiest. You had more than you would ever wish for.

Before taking the test you were thinking about waiting to tell Brian until you've seen a doctor etc but now, there was no way you could make that happen. You tried not to call Brian at the studio to tell him. Instead, you rushed to the phone and decided to call Ruth and Harold.

It felt like it took forever before anyone picked up the phone. "The May household" you heard Harold answer. "Hi Harold, it's Y/N, how are you?", "Hello Dear, I'm fine thank you, how are you?" he asked, he sounded happy, it warmed your heart. You contemplated whether telling them or waiting. Apparently, you had been quiet for too long, "Is everything alright?" he seriously asked. You hesitated a bit, "Yeah, I uhm I think so", "You doesn't sound too sure about that dear, would you like to talk to Ruth?", "That would be nice, thank you, Harold". Harold was a great grandad and a wonderful father in law, however, you had always had a better connection towards Ruth.

You heard Harold calling for Ruth and some muffled noises. "Hello dear!" you heard Ruth's voice cheering through. "Hello Ruth, how are you? And Amanda?" you gently asked, not really levelling with her enthusiasm. "Oh I'm fine dear, thank you for asking. Amanda just ate some soup, so she's full and satisfied" she laughed. "That's great! I hope you're all having a good time and that she's behaving" you chuckled. "Oh dear, don't worry, she's the best!" you chuckled as an answer. "Now, Y/N, will you tell me what's wrong?", "I uhm, I was wondering if I could pick Amanda up a bit earlier than planned? Like today?", it was quiet for some time before she answered. "Oh, well yes of course you can! Is there something wrong?" she asked. "No, I don't think so at least" you chuckled, "I just want her home for tonight when Brians getting home.", "Y/N, I'm sorry but I can see right through you, there is something on your mind.", "Well yes, there are, I just don't know if I want to tell you before I tell Brian.", "Oh" and with this, you knew she understood. "Ok, I think you know by now anyway, I uhm, I'm..... pregnant, and I wanted to" you didn't get to finish your sentence because there was a scream on the other end and it made you laugh. "Oh my heavens, Congratulations!! I am so happy for you two!" she almost screamed. "Don't get too excited Ruth, it's still pretty early" you voiced your fears. "Oh dear, I understand your fear, I really do, but it will be alright in the end, I promise!", at this you got emotional, tears started to stream down your cheeks and you sniffled, "Oh love, It will be alright! We'll pack Amandas things and then we'll be right over, okay?", "Okay" you sniffled, "Thank you Ruth!", "No worries dear!", "Ruth before you begin packing things up, you don't have too, you can have her back tonight or tomorrow if you want.", "That sounds nice if it's alright with you two, but I guess you would appreciate some time alone to talk and everything, so we'll happily come and pick her up tomorrow again!", "That sounds great, I know she loves being with you two! I won't hold you up any longer, see you soon then", "Yes darling, see you soon!"

You took a deep breath. Wow. This was a rollercoaster.

You were so happy and so appreciative for Ruth and Harold. Brian and Harold haven't always been on great terms but the last year things have been amazing between them and both Harold and Ruth have always been amazing towards you. They are great, amazing! And there is no wonder why Brian is so great.

---

You were in the bedroom and looking for a specific body that Amanda had, knowing that Brian would know exactly when he saw it, when you heard knock on the front door. You quickly ran downstairs and opened to great your baby and parents in law.

"Hi," you both said at the same time as you opened the door. Ruth walked inside first and greeted you with a big smile, embracing you in a hug only a mother could. "You look great!" she happily said as her hands went to your cheeks, you chuckled a bit "Thanks, I don't feel great" you laughed, hoping not to get further questions. Harold stepped inside and handed you your baby girl, oh you had missed her. "Hi baby," you said in a squealing voice before showering her in kisses, making her laugh. Harold walked up to you, and to your surprise leaned in for a hug, he's not a hugging person normally, you gently hugged him and received a happy congratulations wish. "I'm happy for you both," he said, "Thank you so much, Harold," you said and gave him a joyous smile, just as you also felt tears streaming down. "Oh wow, I'm a mess" you laughed as you brushed the tears off. "No worries dear, I was the same when I was expecting Brian" she laughed and Harold agreed, not pleased with the recall of memories. You all broke down in laughs.

You welcomed them inside and as always they made themselves feel at home as you served some tea and biscuits. Ruth was playing with Amanda on the sofa. "Has she taken her nap today?" you asked as you saw how Amanda started to get cranky and sleepy. "No she hasn't, she was about to fall asleep in the car on our way here but we thought it was better to keep her awake so she could sleep here.", "Maybe we should go take a nap, baby girl," you said as you approached them on the sofa. Suddenly, Harold stood up, "I can take her to nap, if that's ok?" he asked, "Yes of course," you said as you walked and picked Amanda up and handed her to Harold. "I'll be upstairs with the bottle in a minute," you said as you walked to the kitchen to prepare the bottle.

---

Amanda was happily asleep upstairs and Ruth and Harold had just left. However, before they left they handed me a little box and you thought that now would be a good time opening it. Inside you could see a yellow shirt, in Amanda's size. When you unfolded the soft material you saw the cutest thing. The shirt had "Promoted Big Sister" embroidered on the front. You chuckled slightly as an idea about how to reveal the news to Brian popped up in your head.

This will be perfect.

---

Amanda was seated in her chair as you finished up the rest of the dinner. For the occasion, you had made Brians favourite dinner.

You had been so distracted by the food that you hadn't heard Brian coming home. You only noticed when Amanda squealed when she saw him entering the large kitchen. You turned around and was treated by a sight that could melt your heart a thousand times over. Brians had picked her up and were showing her with hugs and kisses, making the baby girl let out belly laughs. You felt how you were about to cry but quickly turned around again to brush them away.

Brian put Amanda back in her chair for a moment and approached you. Wrapping his arms around your waist, his lips brushed against your neck and kissed your temple. "Hi" you gently voiced. "Hello, love," he said and kept kissing your cheek. "It smells delicious," he said and placed one last kiss on your ear. "It's your favourite," you said and put down the spatula to turn around and greet him properly. "I noticed, what do I owe the pleasure?" he said as you wrapped your hands around his neck, his hands placed on your waist. "nothing special" you lied. "How was your day?" you asked as you leaned in for a hug, hugging his waist, his hands brushing your back. You could smell his cologne, feel his arms tightening around you. "It was okay, nothing special," he said, his voice low. He pulled away from the hug to look at you. One of his hands stroke some hair behind your ear to then cup your cheek. "How was your day? And why's Amanda home, shouldn't she be at my parents?", "They came to visit earlier and I wanted her home, but she's going back tomorrow," you said as you adored his face. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss you. The kiss was like nothing else, your whole body tingled. You felt the excitement again.

The dinner was nothing special. Brian kept complimenting the food, which warmed your heart. Throughout the whole dinner, you just kept adoring the little family you have and the excitement to reveal that one more was on the way kept getting stronger and you were growing impatient.

Amanda played with a rattle toy while you and Brian both cleaned up after the dinner, stealing hugs and kisses here and there.

When the kitchen was done cleaning you honestly felt exhausted, and Brian, being the wonderful husband he is, sensed that. He walked up to you and kissed your forehead as he hugged you. "You go sit down and relax and I'll take care of Manda" he said and kissed you again. "Thank you" you whispered.

Brian kissed you once more and walked excitedly towards Amanda, "Come here baby girl, it's time for jammies" he said as he picked her up and threw her up in the air, making her laugh once again. You felt at peace and happy as you saw them giggling, making their way down to the nursery.

It was getting quite late. You sat down on the sofa reading a book in front of the fireplace when you zoned out. You started to look around you and saw how beautiful your life had become. You were married to the one and only person you ever loved and together you had built this beautiful incredible life. And the excitement for the news Brian is left to find out is very much evident.

You couldn't focus on reading the book, you just sat there biting you lip slightly and listening to what was happening in the nursery. You heard Brian talk to Manda and her giggles. Until it all stopped.

Silent took over the house, the only thing you could hear was Mandas joller and the fire in the fireplace.

"Love?" Brian called for you. You didn't answer, you wanted to see his reaction without you interfering to early. "Y/N" he almost shouted. Silence took over again.

Apparently, he grabbed Amanda and the shirt he had discovered and worked to the living room. "What is this?" he said, trying to hide his excitement if it weren't true. "It's a new shirt I bought for Manda" you chuckled. He looked so confused. His eyes went from looking on Amanda, to the shirt, to you. "What?" he blurted out, confusion written all over him. You rose up from the sofa and approached him. He had put Amanda down on the floor as he inspected the shirt.

You walked towards him and when there was almost no space between you he looked up at you, studied your expression. You smiled and took the shirt out of his hands and folded it and put it on the table. You walked up to him again and smiled. He tilted his head a bit, once again showing his confusion. You took his hands and brought them up to kiss them and then placed them gently on your lower stomach to get the message through. He caught on immediately. His eyes widened and he let out a breath. "Ooh my lord" he breathed as he adjusted his hands slightly, his gaze fixated on your belly. You chuckled and once again felt tears forming in your eyes. "I'm pregnant, Brian" you said smiling as the tears ran down your cheeks. He looked up at you and a smile spread across his face, "Really?" he asked as he looked at you. "Yes, I took three tests and all of them was positive".

Brian moved his hands and embraced you in a loving, comforting hug. His head was placed in the curve of your neck, his hands wrapped around you, your hands on his back, feeling his warmth, feeling the soft curls against your cheek. What you discovered next melted your heart. You heard sniffles coming from Brian.

You broke the embrace and looked at him, your hands holding his cheeks, your thumbs brushing away the tears, as more tears streamed from your eyes. You both were crying out of happiness, and soon enough you were both laughing. Brian held your waist, "Oh boy I love you!" he said as he laughed and kissed you. "I love you more" you gently said, looking into his hazel eyes. "Thank you" he then said as a wave of more tears streamed down his rosy cheeks. He leaned his forehead against yours, looking into your eyes. "I.. I don't even know what to say. I love you so much and there is no other I'd want to share my life with. You make me happy, you're keeping me on track, you are my universe. I love you so much and I am so grateful for you! You have given me the best gift of live already once, and now again. I... I'm speechless. I love you so much! And I am so excited" he laughed. "I am so excited. Im so excited for all that the future has to bring us. To see Amanda grow up, to see this little bean grow" he placed his hands on your stomach, "I love you, so much!" he started to cry again. This hit you hard. How did you end up with this fantastic man? If only you could show him how much you meant to him so he could really understand.

"Baby, I love you! So much! And I am so happy. I have more than I could ever have asked for. I have a wonderful husband, who's also my best friend. You cheer me up when I'm down, you comfort me when I'm sad, you laugh with me when I'm happy. I am so glad and grateful that I get to share my life with you too. I love you so much it hurts!" you said and kissed his swollen, red lips to then hug him tight.

You were so excited for what the future would bring. You would never want to do this with anyone else. This was perfect.

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I hope you liked this one! I surely do! If you guys want maybe I could build this story further, maybe to follow them throughout the pregnancy or something? Let me know what you think!