#“because i have only once met someone so willing to burn for what they believed in

[technicolorxsn]

big fan of harrows take on my moms applesauce recipe

[fortruthoversolace]

Thinking about Pyrrha "I have only once met someone so utterly willing to burn for what they believed in, and I loved him on sight" Dve and why she is so temperamentally suited to love Camilla and Palamedes, i.e. devotion's casualties. And why it is so painful for her to lose them to the creation of Paul, because she understands them, more than anyone else could, even if Pal and Cam insist that she doesn't.

[hispg]

Between royalty and vows

Pairings: Prince! Leon x Fem! Reader

Summary: A forced marriage, a fate set in stone, nothing could change that.

In the world of royalty, there were no choices, only obligations to fulfill. What you didn't expect was to become engaged to a renowned prince, ready to succeed the lineage.

Until that moment, you still had some hope that everything would work out, maybe it wasn't so bad. But it would be a shame if your future husband had a mistress.

Wouldn't it?

Wc:2.9k

Warnings: slow burn, angst, hurt/ comfort, cheating, arranged marriage, eventual smut, one-sided love, affairs, (I'll put more once things start to progress).

Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 |

Chapter 3: Coldening

The orange leaves falling on your balcony, the cold autumn wind signaling the end of the season. You could already see that most of the trees had lost their leaves.

What's more, most people were no longer going out without any kind of warmth, the chill that seemed to warn of a harsh winter approaching.

But the weather outside wasn't the only thing that was getting cold.

As you walked through the castle corridors, you rubbed your hands together to keep warm on that cold afternoon. Even if you were covered.

At least if you had someone to warm you up, you wouldn't need much.

However, you couldn't help but notice Leon's presence at the end of the corridor.

He was just staring out of the window, arms crossed and a furrowed brow, as usual. At first you had no plans to approach him and try to strike up some kind of conversation, perhaps because you were still closed off and tending to your recent hurt.

In fact, things had become even more distant between you. Since the last incident, you only met for breakfast and dinner respectively, not even at lunchtime, since Leon avoided you like the plague.

As a result, you simply interpreted that he didn't want to have any kind of conversation with you, and even you got used to the distance that was forming. Perhaps it would be better this way, each in their own space, to avoid so many problems.

However, what you least expected was to hear his voice calling you, almost in a whisper, "Can I talk to you?"

For a moment you stopped in your tracks, looking down and thinking for a moment. You couldn't just say no, that would be rude, but was it time to talk to him?

You didn't have time to consider any of this, as just then you felt his warm hand being placed gently on your shoulder, as if he wanted you to notice his presence, maybe to get your attention if only for a minute.

"Excuse me, Prince, I was a little lost in my thoughts." You say softly, turning your face towards him.

The same sweet, gentle smile was there, even though it was fake, you were incredibly convincing.

"Did something happen?" He asks in a sincere whisper, looking at you with a calm expression.

And for a brief moment you let yourself believe that he cared, even if it was far from reality.

"No, nothing. Just nervous, the wedding is next week." You say, yet the wedding was the least of your worries.

He looks you up and down, narrowing his eyes as if he doesn't believe a word you say.

Not least because he knew why you'd been so upset recently, he was the reason all this was happening.

"I see. Would you mind accompanying me?" He says calmly, offering you his arm.

Which, by the way, you politely declined, putting both your hands down the front of your dress. You made it perfectly clear that you didn't want to be that close.

Maybe it was wrong, but you couldn't act as if nothing had happened.

So he got the message, even if he was a little disappointed. He started walking towards the courtyard, hoping that you would accompany him.

And so you did, not making much of a point of starting any kind of conversation or anything like that. You just kept quiet and followed him, willing to listen to whatever he had to say.

You noticed his gaze on you, an almost guilty look, if you didn't know him, you could have sworn there was a hint of regret in his gaze.

But you knew it was just another insignificant justification.

The only sound was the rustling breeze, the wind that cut through the air and made you shiver. Along with the sound of dry leaves crunching with every step you both took.

"You refused my flowers." He whispered, calm as ever, yet you could sense a certain bitterness in his words.

You sighed, almost imperceptibly. How could you willingly accept it like that? As if nothing had happened, it seemed too hypocritical.

They were certainly the most expensive and beautiful flowers he could find, you had no doubt about that.

Just as he spared no expense in giving you the most expensive jewelry, the shiny necklaces that adorned your neck.

He couldn't buy your affection as he thought he could, or your silence and understanding. There was no money or jewel in the world that could make you understand and accept this situation.

"I'm sorry for the discourtesy, but I thought the flowers didn't go well in my room." You say simply, not bothering to look him in the eye.

It was obviously a lie, but you weren't going to be that blunt. Maybe he had a good excuse, right?

Deep down you knew it was just a foolish thought, because the truth was clearer than day.

"I see, I'll consider your opinion the next time I go to pick flowers." He says, the tone unmistakable from the distance between the two of you.

You nod, not paying much attention to his actual words. You knew it was a silent apology, but you still didn't know if you could accept it so easily.

Not least because it was a mistake of his that would be repeated, and you feared it would never stop.

Noticing your silence, he sighed. It was hard to admit that he missed hearing you jabbering with him, but at the end of the day it was an expected reaction on your part.

"I actually invited you here for another reason," He begins calmly, taking a seat on one of the benches in the courtyard.

You silently repeat the gesture, looking him in the eye and waiting for him to continue.

He lets out a quiet sigh, gently placing his hand on yours. A gesture that surprised you, to say the least.

Since when did he do this kind of thing with you?

"I need to go on a quick business trip, it'll last a few days. I just wanted to let you know." He mutters quietly, and genuinely doesn't seem happy with what he's just said.

You look at him a little puzzled, even suspicious. Why such a sudden trip? Just a few days before the wedding.

As if he had read your thoughts, he ran his thumb over the back of your covered hand, as if to reassure you of something.

"Don't worry, I think I'll be here until the wedding." The way he talked about the marriage in such a nonchalant way was enough to make you tense up a little.

Couldn't he at least pretend? Could he perhaps be less rude?

"I hope you're here, Your Highness." You said it slowly, and incredibly quietly, in a way that was a contrast to what you were feeling.

He noticed the way you narrowed your eyes, or even when you removed his hand from yours. Resting both your hands on your lap.

Then Leon nodded, correcting his sentence, "I'll be here. I wouldn't miss it."

And frankly, that didn't calm your heart one bit. What if he didn't show up? What if he decided to run away and just leave?

These were questions that plagued your mind, especially over the last few days. You couldn't imagine the embarrassment of this situation if it became real.

You already knew the ground you were standing on, and you were being very cautious not to let all this sink your future marriage even further.

"How many days will you be away?" You ask as you look at the bush of flowers.

The flowers that reminded you of so many things. Too bad most of those memories were negative.

"Probably four days at most. I don't want to spend too long away." He answered your question, his gaze not leaving yours for a single second.

It was as if he wanted to say more than he could, maybe he even regretted something. Or it could be something from your hopeful mind that was praying that this situation would somehow be reversed.

"And also, I wanted to talk to you about something else." He begins, tucking a lock of your hair behind your ear.

"Tell me, something to do with the trip?" You ask quietly, turning to give the prince your attention.

"I don't like the idea of you being alone while I'm away. I understand that there are several servants in the castle, but I'd still prefer to remain attentive." His words were enough to make you frown, pursing your lips into a small pout.

"No need to worry, you know I'm in good hands here." And indeed that was it, it wasn't as if you were somewhere dangerous.

In fact, you found his sudden concern strange.

"Even so, a friend I trust will be spending a few days at the castle. Chris Redfield, I suppose you've heard of him." Leon says while still placing his hand against yours.

You nodded in response, remembering the much-talked-about Duke who had recently arrived at the castle.

You hadn't imagined that he was a close friend of Leon's or anything like that, so it was actually a surprise.

"I'd like to introduce him to you." Leon says as he stands up, expecting you to accompany him.

You did so without much reluctance, even eager to see the so-called Duke. The dark-haired man was there, at the main entrance, having a conversation with the King, they seemed quite close.

But their attention soon turned to you and Leon, the couple of the moment. And you pretended so well that the people around you believed it.

Leon's father patted him on the shoulder, while Chris looked you up and down.

He was handsome, tall, strong and shapely, undoubtedly very popular with the ladies.

"A pleasure to meet you, princess." Chris says, bowing and smiling at you.

"My pleasure." You say with a gentle, genuine smile, looking at the man in front of you with tenderness.

The brief moment was interrupted by a group of stewards who came to whisper to Leon about the journey, warning him that he would have to check the carriage, just to make sure it was up to his standards, and take care of a few other things that you didn't quite understand.

With that, the king left with Leon to sort out what had to be done, and he didn't even bother to say goodbye to you.

"If you don't mind, I can take you for a walk." Chris says with a cutting smile, making it almost impossible to say no.

And well, it wasn't as if you had much to do at the moment, so there was no reason to refuse.Not to mention that Chris saw how disconcerted you were.

"Of course, I'm flattered." You say with a sweet smile, walking slowly through the castle as he follows you.

You couldn't think of a nicer person to spend the afternoon with. The man had so much experience, you could talk about so many subjects with him, and yet he could dissect each one perfectly.

You even found common subjects, and before you knew it you had spent the whole afternoon together, in fact it was already evening.

If it were up to you, you'd be talking to him for hours on end, but you knew you had your own things to do, and so did he.

You couldn't complain about the company you'd have for the next few days, it would help you not to feel so alone.It was a real shame when you had to say goodbye, after all, it was time for you to go to your quarters.

"Thanks for the company." You said with a genuine smile, stopping in front of your bedroom door.

Chris smiled, bowing to you, "My pleasure."

You couldn't tell, but from his tone, he seemed to be someone so subdued and gentle. A perfect contrast to Leon's personality.

You keep smiling, preparing to say goodbye to him, "Good evening, Duke."

He then says gently, "Good evening, Princess."

You nod and turn to enter your room, smiling from ear to ear, happy to have had a calmer moment after the recent storms.

"Were you outside at that time?" It was the first thing you heard as soon as you closed the door.

It was enough to make you look around your room, and it didn't take long for you to frown slightly, trying your best to keep your composure.

"Yes, prince. I was with the Duke…" You said quietly, looking at him calmly, acting as if his tone hadn't affected you.

For a moment you could have sworn you saw a sneer forming at the corner of his lips, as he got up from your bed and walked over to you.

"Forgive the inconvenience, princess. However, I don't think it's appropriate for you to stay late in the courtyard…" He begins, looking you up and down as if he were analyzing you, making sure you were in one piece.

You nodded, you could even think and know where this conversation was going. And you'd give in, maybe he'd make some sense.

"I can't imagine why." You say, moving to your dresser, sitting down on the small stool to start removing your jewelry.

It was clear that you knew the reason, yet you wanted him to refresh your memory.

You heard his sigh, as well as his impatient expression as you looked in the mirror.

"You know, princess. It's not proper for a woman to be out and about after eight o'clock, even more so with a man who isn't her husband." Leon says, trying his best to maintain his usual calm and inexpressive appearance.

He was probably only doing it to keep up the appearance of the two of you, so as not to make the situation even worse. You knew it was nothing sentimental, far from jealousy.

He couldn't be jealous of someone he didn't like.

"I don't understand the problem." You said nonchalantly, removing the sparkling necklace that was illuminated by the serene light in the room.

"People will talk, princess." He retorts, putting his hands on his hips and looking at you.

From his point of view, he didn't mind if you had someone else in your life, it would even be better because he would be free. But there was a contract to fulfill, a farce to maintain. And he was mad if he chose to compromise it in such a way.

You just smiled, raising your eyebrows while still admiring yourself in the mirror, "People talk about so many things."

You knew you had been bold, and that you had even overstepped the mark. But the look on his face was priceless.

He knew what you were referring to, he knew perfectly well where your hint had been directed.

You watched his lips press together in irritation as he narrowed his eyes. He wasn't naive and understood the allusion in your words.

And that was all he needed to move closer to you, taking the opportunity to place his cold hand on your shoulder, as if to make you feel his presence, or even to remind you of why he was here.

"We shouldn't give way to unnecessary speculation." He says seriously, putting both hands on your shoulders, looking at you through the mirror.

You'd be lying if you said his touch didn't send shivers down your spine, making you let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding.

As well as the gasp you couldn't contain as soon as you felt his lips on your ear, his warm breath against your skin, unconsciously making you clutch the fabric of your dress tightly.

"We should avoid misunderstandings. You know…" He whispers, making a point of keeping his piercing blue eyes on you.

He knew the power he had over you, and wouldn't hesitate to use a little manipulation to keep you under control.

You turned your face towards him, getting so close that your lips were almost touching, the tip of his nose brushing lightly against yours.

If you looked closely, you could see that the distance in his gaze had gone, and deep down there was a new expression in those eyes that were so cold.

Sympathy? Inquisitiveness? Apprehension?

You couldn't say for sure, but it was something new. You risked saying that maybe, just maybe, he was seeing you differently.

It was a low blow on his part, but he had you at his mercy, and he was willing to use that to his advantage.

"Avoiding misunderstandings…" You murmured, not failing to look him in the eye for a second.

The closeness was enough to make you feel butterflies in your stomach, to make your breathing quicken without the slightest intention.

"Yes, dear." The nickname that rolled off his lips so naturally that you believed the tenderness in his voice.

He moved away from you with a calculated elegance, looking at your features through the mirror. He knew he had won this time.

You sighed discreetly, straightening your posture as you stared at him.

God, how could he have such an effect on you?

He knew you'd gotten the message, he knew he'd made it perfectly clear what he wanted. It didn't take long for him to realize that his words had already been absorbed by you, and he wasn't going to repeat them.

"I wish you a good night, Your Highness." He says with a brief, sideways smile, then leaves your room.

You stare at the closed door, feeling your heart flutter in such a way.

Did he really think of you like that?

Dear… That's what he called you.

Oh, heavens. How you'd beg just to hear him call you 'my dear'.

Just once more.

It couldn't hurt, could it?

[babybutchianthe]

it's pretty simple if i think about gideon and pyrrha for more than three seconds i begin eating my own organs because i hAVE ONLY ONCE MET SOMEONE SO UTTERLY WILLING TO BURN FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVED IN, AND I LOVED HIM ON SIGHT, AND THE FIRST TIME I DIED I ASKED OF HIM WHAT I NOW ASK OF YOU

[starberry-cupcake]

I'm back! Thank you kindly for your patience, we're done with Act III! It was probably a terrible idea to wait because this is so long, I'm so sorry.

previously, in harrowhark! a vagrant the ninth:

this happened

also a couple previews that will show up in this but are in the tag

currently, chapters 24-31 (END OF ACT III!!!):

harrow wakes up after sleeping a sensible amount of hours in yandere twin's room

yandere twin, who's into chomping cavaliers, complains about having had some harrow soup

they have a sort of tender moment, I guess

they have a complicated dynamic

harrow falls asleep again

she's in the bed and yandere twin is sleeping on the floor

and harrow is woken by the sound of self inflicted pain and torture

harrow gets tired of this and decides to just rip yandere twin's arm off

@lady-harrowhark reminded me that I called this (!!!) in this recap

I had absolutely 100000% forgot I said that but congrats past me!!!

so, there's this scene in which harrow rips yandere twin's arm off and puts a new bone-y one in there, remade with her own parts

like this

some people have told me in the replies that it's a sessual sort of scene, and I get that, I suppose it was the vibe it was going for

total respect to that

but I'm gonna be honest here

it felt like I was witnessing a birth and harrow was the midwife

so harrow lets yandere twin know that she's been improving her necro powers via studying and practicing to try to make up for her being "lyctor lite"

harrow and alleged gideon aka ortus are the only people here that seem to be getting any work done tbh

so now, with the new arm, inner chad can use the sword again

and yandere twin is happy because she's now a proper lyctor and has senior chad aka augustine's approval

harrow is proud of herself for doing nice necro things like chopping and reconstructing arms

as a thanks, yandere twin agrees to help harrow to kill alleged gideon the first aka ortus

nobody asked you, but ok

I actually have no qualms with alleged gideon aka ortus

because he's at least direct and honest about it

everyone here has an agenda, at least this guy's like directly trying to physically kill harrow

at this point, I respect the direct approach

augustine and emperor reverend professor john can go fu—

WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'LL GET THERE LATER

CHAPTER 28

we're back at gideon-less canaan house

canaan house isn't safe in any universe, all the trails lead to death

everyone who's alive or accounted for is having a sleepover

there's a bunch of people unaccounted for, actually

the kiddos from the fourth are allegedly hidden elsewhere

who knows, at this point

I don't trust anyone

there's a fog and rain and water rising still

which reminds me of the movie identity, in which they all were trapped in that motel because it wasn't actually a motel and they weren't actually alive per-se

magnus and abby say that protozoa should have decked mayonnaise uncle

which is one of the reasons why the gideon universe is superior

aside from the presence of gideon and camilla

I miss them so much I'm gonna start biting cavaliers

anyway, where in the hell is duracell bunny nephew???

he wasn't with mayonnaise uncle when he yeeted himself

his soul, which got detached from his body in the gideon universe, is still flying like a balloon across universes and dimensions, I guess

abby didn't expect regina george twin to die, apparently, and says "if she's gone, then perhaps that means..." but doesn't elaborate

nobody ever elaborates

abby also makes harrowbean read another one of the "harrow texts"

I can't keep adding them all together in recaps because this will end up being super long but here goes the new one

"I will remember the first time you kissed me —you apologized— you said, I am sorry, destroy me as I am, but I want to kiss you before I am killed, and I said to you why, and you said, because I have only once met someone so utterly willing to burn for what they believed in, and I loved him on sight, and the first time I died I asked of him what I now ask of you. I kissed you and later I would kiss him too before I understood what you were, and all three of us lived to regret it—but when I am in heaven I will remember your mouth, and when you roast down in hell I think you will remember mine"

so yeah, we've got a triangular situation, I suppose

I need to put all of them together to continue to draw connections

my though was that this could be ice cube barbie aka annabel lee, because of the long-lost sun, but I'm unsure still

I don't think the timing fits the other side of the 3d model that's the gideon's mom and rebel leader situation

inconclusive still

abby suggests harrowbean she might be haunted

which might also fit with ice cube barbie??? maybe??? idk

CHAPTER 29

harrow says she doesn't remember shit about chad

get perpetually owned, chad

mercygirl asks harrow things about her necro process for the arm reconstructing and the last thing she asks is "what is the name of the saint of duty?" to which harrow says "ortus the first" and mercygirl goes

me and my "alleged gideon" theory are very happy about this

the hill I will die on

mercygirl continues to use onomatopoeias to express herself

I do not want to think about what that would imply in a later situation I don't want to dig into

"you read unholy omens in the way people say good morning" that's what these recaps are, thank you very much harrow

that's our tagline over here, that's our brand

"how you loathed any sentence beginning with augustine says" SAME, BESTIE

I HATE THAT MAN

he can go fu— ANYWAY

harrow and yandere twin are having sleepovers so that harrow isn't murdered in her sleep

apparently the nudes are cyrus and his cavalier and yandere twin likes that energy

they gifted them to others as souvenirs too

it's like if you had a university classmate who sent nudes to the groupchat every birthday

yandere twin says augustine the asshole has agreed to help kill alleged gideon aka ortus the first

I don't trust any of these lyctors if they're willing to kill each other this easily

how do I know they've got my back in combat if they don't have each other's backs—

I CAN'T EVEN ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS AND NOT SOUND TERRIBLE NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS LATER IN THE PARTY

ANYWAY

yandere twin reminisces about not having been apart from regina george twin much in their lives and hoping she's sleeping well wherever she is

I also don't know where she is

yandere twin tells harrow that she was more farsighted than her

which I'm sure she was, but she doesn't seem to remember shit about it, and the letters remain unopened

harrow thinks it's kinda gross that the cyrus lyctor murdered his cavalier to become a lyctor and then took all of their nudes to the emperor's bolthole

none of these lyctors are operating from a place of common sense, harrow

"you were lucky that the memory of your own cavalier did not hurt you—except sometimes in the form of a sick headache in your temples, or in words stuck on repeat in your head"

so, augustine's plan involves dinner

harrow, hearing that, is like this

they look for clothes in the cavalier's things

yandere twin says "valancy trinit was my height, weighed more than both of us put together, and —judging by her portraits— had a body that did not quit"

I sure hope she's a thick girl, because I've had enough disappointment with the gideon cover not letting her have the arms she deserves

I hope valancy trinit looks kinda like this

ANYWAY, here's the makeover vibes, as previously shared

apparently chad could embroider, which I have to admit is a good quality

hate giving him any props, but I must be fair

harrow painted the less cute skull in her repertoire and we respect that

they went to augustine's room and he's still an asshat

I don't like how he treats yandere twin tbh

I feel like yandere twin has a thing with validation because of how her life has been and he uses that

augustine justifies his betrayal to his fellow lyctor saying that he "caused more pain over these last scant forty years than I dare to admit"

mercygirl is also here for the party, all dressed up

SO HERE'S THE THING

I am so embarrassed I didn't pick it up on the fly and it took me the whole chapter to put it together

augustine tells her "dios apate, minor"

at the time, I didn't remember what it meant, and when I finished reading the thing, I was like "oh, it's exactly like the deception of zeus"

I forgot that's what it was called

I mean, I got the "dios" part, obviously, but forgot the "apate"

my ancient greek professor is going to come back into my life to shoot me at my doorstep

to be fair to myself, it was a long while ago that I took ancient greek

AT LEAST I PICKED THE REFERENCE UP AFTER, OK????

god, I'm so embarrassed

palmolive, I'm so sorry, I promise I figured it out eventually

mercygirl punches augustine in the face, which is great

he insists on it being "minor", which idk where the line is there and I'm not gonna ask

idk which things are or aren't...involved in a minor form of zeus's deception

mercygirl says she's not wearing the right dress, I don't think it matters, it worked just fine

CHAPTER 30

everyone gets drunk except for alleged gideon aka ortus and harrow, because they're the only people in this group project who are doing the work

augustine and mercygirl start fighting about something their cavaliers did back in the day

they start toasting for cavaliers and talking about how "hot pyrrha was"

there is no respect for the dead in the emperor's bolthole

there's about to be something else in the emperor's bolthole in a minute though

I was excited about them drinking, though, because that's when people start spilling some truths

the lost commander of BOE is a "she", her name is/was Commander Wake, she almost killed alleged gideon aka ortus

I'm still spinning with the gideon's mom theory

and the background telenovela I've got going on

BOE found a Herald, killed it and turned it into weapons against these clowns

good for them, tbh, kill these drunk irresponsible bastards

emperor reverend professor doctor john thinks it's narcissistic of him to toast to himself

I want to murder him in cold blood

I hate this man so viscerally I want to rip him apart with my hands

the twist in this book is that I'm gonna reach to his murder and it's gonna be me

it's like bastian reading the neverending story but it's me killing this man

his full name is john gaius but I had been spoiled of his name by people not tagging their posts

he also does a "your mama" joke because he's my villain origin story

"part of your brain temporarily calcified into atheism" I'M GLAD, HARROW

so, they start to make out, all three of them

I finally caught up about zeus's deception and all about here

emperor awful is sandwiched between mercygirl on a table and augustine behind him and they forget there are children in the room

well, not children, but same difference, they're a million years old

harrow and yandere twin get the hell out of that display

CHAPTER 31

yandere twin wants to kiss harrowbean before she leaves to kill alleged gideon aka ortus, but harrow doesn't let her

harrow says "my affections lie buried in the Locked Tomb" to which yandere twin responds "Somebody might even exhume them for you"

when harrow mentioned not wanting to be touched while sleeping beside yandere twin, I remembered the pool hug and all that, that was a nice time

people were being killed left and right but it was a nice time

ANYWAY

harrow has a whole plan and has it all figured out, it's a really good plan, it works very nicely, but alleged gideon aka ortus isn't where they told her he was

sometimes, life works that way

the man you plan to kill isn't in the training room and all

she goes to look for him in not!dulcinea's crypt or whatever

and she sees this

and the spear

she follows the children's hospital trail of blood to the incinerator

alleged gideon aka ortus is inside the fire thingy and not!dulcinea is operating the controls

I wonder who could have predicted that this woman could still be an issue even after death

me, it was me

anyway, no time for I-told-you-so's because harrowbean decides to help him out of there

I'm very happy because I need him alive

he knows things and he's less bad than everyone else around here

because he's upfront about the killing

he tells her some things while he's kind of out of it

like to use blood wards instead of bone ones

that it will make her safe from "us"

"I know you're there. Kill me all you like. I would know you in the blindness of my eyes" he says and, among other things "Just tell me—back then—why you brought along the ba—"

WAS HE GONNA SAY BABY???? WHAT IF HE WANTED TO SAY BABY???

I'm still on my gideon agenda, sorry if it's embarrassing to read

of course emperor dickhead stops him before he can finish it

alleged gideon aka ortus says he doesn't remember shit afterwards and harrow sees her own mental state reflected in his

they can't find not!dulcinea, apparently

she's probably operating heavy machinery elsewhere

harrow is putting up her blood wards when she hears augustine and mercygirl argue about the whole zeus situation

the incinerator alarm apparently interrupted their plan of letting this happen

whether or not they had a hand on the not!dulcinea thing idk

mercygirl says she didn't move her

we end this act with ice cube barbie maybe annabel lee saying "The water is risen. So is the sun. We will endure."

obligatory yearning for camilla moment

That is the end of Act III and of my commentary because this was way too long and I need to make less chapters at a time istg

[ddoxhan]

stay by my side

if there is no one next to you I’ll just be behind you, just stay by my side

word count : 0.9k words

genre : classic angst; giselle x gn! reader; days were never the same anymore but your feelings for aeri will always be unchanging for as long time exists

t/w : nothing :) this is just some good ol' angst

a/n : not much plot to it but ! it's the feels of not being able to forget someone and maybe, you're better off longing for them than try pressing down your feelings. anyone out there longing for their special someone, I just wanna say it's okay to feel that way :3 it may not be the healthiest choice, but allow yourself to long for that person until you feel it's time to actually let them go <3 enjoy !

things were just never the same anymore, it couldn't. I'd keep having dreams about you, about us. those sweet, spring memories we shared now embedded in my head like a broken record. those days when we spent our mornings showering each other with kisses, when we would take night walks in the park, when we talked about spending the rest of our lives together. those days, when we loved each other like there was no tomorrow. we did, but it just didn't last forever just like what we had wished under that shooting star.

I admit, that I still love you, the same or maybe even more than I did back then. I truly believed that we were meant to be, and no one can tell me otherwise as I've seen those eyes of yours bear the same endearment for me as I do for you. it sounds cheesy, but I am willing to be if it's you. however, as much as I want to let go of you, I don't think I'd ever come to terms with the fact that you did. we were so beautiful, don't you think so? it was as if the world revolved around us. I know we will never be able to go back to those days, to love each other again.

every night that came and went in the same repertoire. staring straight at the ceiling, reminiscing the times I still had you in my arms, crying myself to sleep, jolting awake from the same nightmare, hugging myself back to sleep. the pain was almost unbearable when it gets to the nightmare. it was my regrets for not doing my best for you, and the mistakes that I wished I hadn't made. I could never stand to see tears in your eyes, especially if it was because of me. on the day you left, you looked me in the eye, with tears threatening to roll down your crimson cheeks. that moment broke my heart to pieces, noticing the burning sensation of the wind against my skin.

it seems I have already lost you, with no chance to turn back time.

when I'm sober, everything I did numbed me to the core. when I wake up to your side of the bed empty, seeing that the once lively space all dull with silence, the fridge slowly emptying, leaving nothing but water and some alcohol. it's like I stopped functioning properly when you're not with me. the flowers that you loved so much don't look as lively, the warm breeze that greeted us daily slowly getting chilly, the stars that we spent hours looking at don't sparkle as much. you brought so much color to my world, and it returned back to being monochromatic, like those times before I met you.

you brought so much joy to my life, and I have never felt so grateful for being alive. it was the first time I felt so euphoric, fortunate to see that very smile of yours when you look at me with such affection. that smile was for me, because of me, only me. you made me feel like the luckiest person on earth to love someone as wonderful as you are. I can only hope you felt the same way as I did.

all the things in my life took a turn, not a good one at that, after you left. you took a part of me with you when you told me that things weren't working out. what did that mean? was I not doing good enough? did your feelings for me change? there were so many questions I want to ask, but sometimes, they were better left unanswered. these daggers piercing through my heart are more than enough to leave me bleeding profusely till I can't feel love anymore.

as I spent each day, yearning for your warmth and affection, there's something that I've come to realize as I take a step back to look at things. there will be no one else who would be able to fill your spot, not even with time. it's been months, almost a year that I've been standing here, not knowing what is wrong with me. that's because, nothing is wrong. everything made so much sense.

I love you and nothing can ever change that fact. even if you don't love me anymore, that's okay. all I will do is just stand here right behind you, protecting you from the shadows. although there might not be someone who would be by your side all the time, I will be right here behind you. until the day I get the chance to stand next to you, be the one you can rely on, I will be here for you.

there will be a day where we meet again, whether it be by chance or fate. and when that day comes, I want to be stronger than I am now, to give you that smile you loved so much when we were us. until then, I will take this role as your dark knight. looking over you from somewhere you wouldn't notice, offering you a hand when you struggle, finding solace right here. I know you would be able to tell that I am here, but please, leave me be. for the day I am able to let you go, will hopefully come.

so let me stay by your side for now, aeri.

[tonsillessscum]

I WILL REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU KISSED ME—YOU APOLOGISED—YOU SAID, I AM SORRY, DESTROY ME AS I AM, BUT I WANT TO KISS YOU BEFORE I AM KILLED, AND I SAID TO YOU WHY, AND YOU SAID, BECAUSE I HAVE ONLY ONCE MET SOMEONE SO UTTERLY WILLING TO BURN FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVED IN, AND I LOVED HIM ON SIGHT, AND THE FIRST TIME I DIED I ASKED OF HIM WHAT I NOW ASK OF YOU

-Tamsyn Muir, Harrow the Ninth

[paintersknife]

Desperation

We all know that all the MLs would sacrifice themselves for MC/the world in a heartbeat, but we never get them dealing with having no option but to sacrifice MC. Lars and Clarence are the most interesting to me because they would have the most difficulty, so here's Lars.

“I have to go.” 

The words are terrifying and he feels his heart wrench painfully as it thuds in his chest. He looks at her and knows that she’s already made up her mind. 

What scares him most is her reaction. There’s a serenity in her eyes as if she already knew that this was going to happen, that all roads would always lead her there, no matter the length. There’s a resolute sadness in her smile when she apologises to him, the hand on his cheek burns him like ice. He knows about her abilities, at least as much as she’s been willing to share with him, and he wonders whether she’s already travelled down each and every path, alone as she’s always been. After all, even if he was willing, she’d never been able to take him.

I’ll never be by her side. Not in a way that matters.

At first he’s angry. Why does she seem so nonchalant about leaving him behind, alone? He resists the urge to ask her whether their time together had meant anything at all or if it was simply a whim of hers to pass her time. Instead he clenches his fists until his knuckles are white and his manicured nails bite deep into his skin. He wants to scream and ask if she had ever really seen him or if she was looking at someone else, an idea of him in her mind formed of the amalgamation of all the possibilities of him that she had met, but not him. Instead, he jokes with her about how he plans to whisk her away so they can be yet another dashing couple on the run. She laughs along with him but it’s obvious it doesn’t reach her eyes. 

Time only ticks closer and closer to their parting, so what use is there wasting it with recriminations and guilt? He should send her off with a smile so that she doesn’t spend the last of her time exhausted and raw from conflict. So he swallows it all. Acts as he always does so that she won’t worry about him. Plasters that smirk on his face as if he believes that they’ll find a way out of it, but he’s already seen in her eyes that there are some things that she knows she can’t escape. It eats away at him like poison, cold and burning somewhere deep in the core of him, but he forces himself to ignore it. After all, there’s nowhere else for it to go.

He’s still smiling when he leads her to where she tells him to. He stays by her side until the moment of her departure, not wanting her to ever be alone even as he resents her for dooming him to that same fate. He hates himself for hoping that she’ll take his hand at the end and quietly ask him to run away together, to wash away the suffocating despair that ensnares him. She glances at him once, but doesn’t really look at him. And in a blink of an eye, she’s gone forever and something within him breaks. 

The sadness does not come, and he can’t bring himself to weep. Now he’s incomplete and all he can feel is hatred.

He hates the world that knows nothing of what she did for them, carrying on in blissful ignorance, worried about their banal problems while he is forced to continue this empty existence. He hates her for leaving him, even though he knows it's not her fault. He hates that she gave him a taste of what it was like to feel whole, only to tear that away from him again. He hates the choice that she made, that she knew that he would never go against her wishes. He hates that she made her choice, and took away his. But most of all, he hates that he never told her how he felt.

There’s nowhere left for his resentment to go, and instead it fills the absence that only her broken pieces could fit against. With every breath he’s keenly aware of the void within, of the raw edges that he knows he’ll feel for the rest of his existence. Just not one with her.

“You’ll go on without me, won’t you?”

[dee-the-red-witch]

Voice request from The Locked Tomb:

The eggs you gave me all died and you lied to me.

The eggs you gave me all died and you lied to me, so I did the implantation myself, you self-serving zombie, and you still sent him after me, and I would have had him if I hadn't been compromised and he took pity on me! He took pity on me! He saw me and he took pity on me. And for that I'll make you both suffer until you no longer understand the meaning of that goddamned word.

Him, I'll kill quick because she asked me to, and because that much he honestly deserves. But you two mummified wizard shits, I will burn and burn and burn until there is no trace of you left in the shadow of my long-lost natal sun.

I will remember the first time you kissed me — you apologized — you said, I am sorry, destroy me as I am, but I want to kiss you before I am killed, and I said to you why, and you said, because I have only once met someone so utterly willing to burn for what they believed in, and I loved him on first sight, and the first time I died I asked of him what I now ask of you.

I kissed you and later I would kiss him too before I understood what you were, and all three of us lived to regret it — but when I am in heaven I will remember your mouth, and when you roast down in hell I think you will remember mine.

The only thing our civilization can ever learn from yours is that when our backs are to the wall and our towers are falling all around us and we are watching ourselves burn we rarely become heroes.

End of the line.

Falling.

Oxygen can't last the distance and won't redirect power from the payload.

Instead I will make you watch every moment as I get the last privilege you cannot enjoy you bygone son of a bitch. I hope you're both as sorry as I am.

...holy FUCK that was fun to record.

Also, @tazmuir, apologies for any mischaracterization in my own recording of your work, but come on, these monologues are a BLAST.

If anyone else has an ask, feel free to kick them in.

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

(Art for Commander Wake, John Gaius, and Ianthe Tridentarius used courtesy of @midnightcrows. Check her out, her art is fantastic!)

The top two characters will be eligible to proceed into the bracket!

Propaganda under the cut. Be warned, it is extensive - Locked Tomb fans are apparently... verbose.

Commander Awake Remembrance Of These Valiant Dead Kia Hua Ko Te Pai Snap Back To Reality Oops There Goes Gravity:

Leader of a terrorist organization devoted to killing God. After she died she hung on as a revenant through sheer self-righteous hatred, tried to kill two different saints, and tried charging God with crimes against humanity. Also she carried her daughter to term solely for the sake of killing her as a ritual sacrifice, and referred to the child only as "the bomb" throughout the series. She's morally ambiguous (instead of just awful) because she's probably right, but it's honestly a close-run thing.

She was the leader of an insurgent force who hate necromancers and want to destroy God, who are descended from filthy fucking capitalists. She was the most successful leader in years. She fucked a guy ordered to kill her and the guy's dead best friend who sometimes inhabited his body. She allied with two of God's saints to unlock the tomb. The saints fucked god and stole his cum. All the eggs the saints gave her died so she impregnated herself with the god cum and gave birth to a baby. She called the baby bomb. Her lover pushes her out of the airlock. Her ghost angrily recants his name and the people who find her baby name her after him. She possesses her daughter's two handed sword. Her daughter jumps on a fence to sacrifice herself for her homoerotic archrival slash best friend, and said best friend becomes one of god's saints. She possesses the body of one of god's dead saints to rekindle her relationship with the girl possessing the body of the guy who killed her. She invades her daughter's rival slash lover slash friend's mind and attacks ghosts contained in her fucked up dream bubble. She starts moving around the space station they're on in the real world while her daughter's consciousness possesses her arch rivals body after her arch rival enters said dream state. she saves her daughter with god's life. She argues with god and tries to charge him for war crimes. her ex kills her. but none of that matters what really matters is that “I KISSED YOU AND LATER I WOULD KISS HIM TOO BEFORE I UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU WERE, AND ALL THREE OF US LIVED TO REGRET IT—BUT WHEN I AM IN HEAVEN I WILL REMEMBER YOUR MOUTH, AND WHEN YOU ROAST DOWN IN HELL I THINK YOU WILL REMEMBER MINE” this quote. this quote is amazing. “I WILL REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU KISSED ME—YOU APOLOGISED—YOU SAID, I AM SORRY, DESTROY ME AS I AM, BUT I WANT TO KISS YOU BEFORE I AM KILLED, AND I SAID TO YOU WHY, AND YOU SAID, BECAUSE I HAVE ONLY ONCE MET SOMEONE SO UTTERLY WILLING TO BURN FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVED IN, AND I LOVED HIM ON SIGHT, AND THE FIRST TIME I DIED I ASKED OF HIM WHAT I NOW ASK OF YOU” also this one. anyways vote commander wake

Awake Remembrance of These Valiant Dead Kia Hua Ko Te Pai Snap Back to Reality Oops There Goes Gravity is commonly called Commander Wake. Her people are being colonized and oppressed by the Emperor Undying, the immortal emperor of a society of necromancers. Commander Wake is the leader of the resistance against this occupying force. As for her character: Commander Wake is unscrupulous and unyielding, definitely more prone to "the power of incredible violence" than "the power of love". She will use any methods at her disposal to fight back against the necromancers. She is described as proud and unforgiving. She never backs down and her strength of will and determination are unmatched. Some of her girlboss moments (spoilers for the entire The Locked Tomb book series): She is the only one the Emperor and his people consider a worthy foe. She colludes with the Emperor's most trusted soldiers and in fact has sex with two of them (who share a body but that's not important right now). She needs the Emperor's blood to defeat him, so she gets her colluding buddies to get her some of his semen to grow a child. When it doesn't go quite to plan, she simply decides to carry the child herself, fully intending to kill it for its blood when it is born. After she is killed, she haunts a sword (and the narrative) for years and years. Later she possesses a corpse and comes face to face with the Emperor, where she proceeds to argue with him about his warcrimes and never backs down. The woman she slept with is still obsessed with her a full book after her double-death. She had no necromantic powers but with technology and military strategy worked to understand and mitigate how necromancy works and what it can and cant do. She insists that the Emperor Undying use her full name, to his face, even when she is completely at his mercy! Her determination is strong enough to bend the genre of an entire haunted dream to her will! When the necromancers come at her with swords she comes at them with. Gun

John Gaius, His Celestial Kindliness, the First Reborn, and The Necrolord Prime

John Gaius, His Celestial Kindliness, the First Reborn, and The Necrolord Prime is the Emperor and primary deity of The Nine Houses. He is perhaps (major spoilers for The Locked Tomb) not technically a girl, but by god does he - Gaslight (Erasing his friends' memories then telling them lies about their past and imposing his perceptions of their personalities onto them) - Gatekeep (Telling his closest followers they need to kill their life partners in order to become immortal WHICH IS NOT EVEN TRUE. John keeps the method of how HE became immortal a secret from them!) - GIRLBOSS (creates a multi-planetary society that worships him as a God) He is also morally grey: He necromantically resurrected millions of people after a planet-wide cataclysm. He caused said cataclysm by nuking the earth. He only nuked the earth because he wanted to stop the billionaires from escaping the planet, because in doing so they left everyone else to die. He wanted to save everyone. He loves the Earth. Even though he is a man he is SUCH a morally ambiguous girlboss

Prince Ianthe Naberius the First, the Lyctor Prince, the Saint of Awe, previously known as Ianthe Tridentarius, the Princess of Ida, heir to the House of the Third, Mouth of the Emperor, the Procession, House of the Shining Dead:

shes tall pale and has no ass. she has the ability to manipulate her fat distribution so she chooses to look like a wet cat. everybody forgets about her because her sister is so hot, but while everyone else is fucking around and trying to figure out whose been killing people, shes been figuring out the secrets to an ancient necromantic theorem. it turns out her hot sister isnt actually a necromancer and ianthe has been doing the work of two necromancers her whole life. she regularly does cannibalism. she eats the soul of her cavalier, who nobody cares about, and becomes a saint of the king undying. her sister is deeply upset that she did not eat her. she gets her arm ripped off by one of the original states. she performs a lobotomy on one of the main protagonists because she asks her to. they have immensely homoerotic tension but its entirely one sided. she cries every night. her soup recipe amounts to burning onions on the bottom of a pot. the scene in which said main protagonists creates her an arm out of bones is the closest the series has to a sex scene. she meets the other main protagonist and says "but your fist is so large and my ass is so small". she stops god from being killed, which everybody hates. in the space between books, she has a terrible terrible no good friend ship with the main protagonist i mentioned before. i love it. they probably fucked and it involved chussy. they have friendship bracelets. she possesses the body of her dead cavalier who nobody cares about to gallivant around in. shes dangerously obsessed with her sister, who after not being eaten has been radicalised and now is a leader in an insurgent cell. she is the target of "then perish" during the epilogue. apparently in the next book she is going to do something horrible. i love her immensely. she has very few redeeming qualities. she is my best friend

listen. she ate a man's heart to become immortal. she is described as the shadow of her twin sister. she calls the protag a fruitcake. she will betray anyone and anything to get what she wants.

Wet Rat who sucks commits cannibalism for won her way through the lyctor olympics of the first books ate her cavalier to go to gods party swinger yatch. She has no fucking idea of what she's doing but she's slaying all day everyday, literally and figuratively. Made everyone believe that her twin sister was a super good necromancer while her sister has no powers by necromancing for her in secret. Idk she's just. She's just so.

The uglier of the supposed pair of the genius necromantic princess twins. Jk, she’s the only necromantic one she's just so good she seems like two geniuses combined, she flies under the radar, doesn't take part in gruesome lessons on powerful necromancy but just figures everything out by thinking alone, kills a dude she known her whole life the moment she learns it will give her more political and magic power, does a truly villainous monolouge when caught for that murder cause who cares about a male dying why are you so mad. Then later murders her much stronger beloved mentor the minute she's asked to gain even more power and prestige and from a princess of one planet becomes a saint and prince and military powerhouse of a divine empire, loyal only as long as her hotter twin sister is safe, truly an inspiration for all feminists everywhere

Harrowhark Nonagesimus was submitted without propaganda.

[llovelyclouds]

notes on pyrrha dve

heres all the relevant info i took note of on pyrrha during my tlt reread, in one place!

(you can find all the other posts from this project here!)

PYRRHA DVE

titles:

Gideon’s cavalier, first gen, founded the second

greek mythological orgin of the name pyrrha

also, pyrrhic victory

notes from gideon the ninth:

G1deon & Pyrrha's room in Canaan house includes a drawing of a chimaera that Gideon describes as "familiar" and a picture on the wall of John and his pals (presumably) with everyone's faces scribbled out with a thick black marker. Also guns (gtn. pg. 205)

notes from harrow the ninth:

presumably lead the development of her and G1dieon's trial at Canaan house, as Mercy refers to it as "Pyrrha's trial" (htn. pg. 97)

 The reason G1deon is named the Saint of Duty (htn. pg. 177)

Asked Wake to kill G1deon quickly (htn. pg. 205)

Was most likely the one conscious in G1dieon’s body when Harrow caught her fucking Wake in Cytherea’s body????? (htn. pg. 216)

"I will remember the first time you kissed me- you apologised- you said, I am sorry, destroy me as I am, but I want to kiss you before I am killed, and I said to you why, and you said, because I have only once met someone so utterly willing to burn for what they believed in, and I loved him on sight, and the first time I died I asked of him what I now ask of you / I kissed you and later I would kiss him too before I understood what you were, and all three of us lived to regret it- but when I am in heaven I will remember your mouth, and when you roast down in hell I think you will remember mine" -Wake's note (htn. pg. 252)

All the lyctors and John loved her (and also thought she was super hot) (htn. pg. 274)

Augustine developed his smoking habit to impress her (htn. pg. 275)

Was ten years older than Augustine (htn. Pg. 278)

G1deon & Pyrrha liked Alecto despite the fact that the other lyctors (at least Mercy and Augustine) didn't (htn. pg. 479)

Mattaius Nonius fought G1deon, and seems to owe Pyrrha a debt (htn. pg. 455)

"We compartmentalised from the Eightfold Word, just like you and your girl- though I'm an accident, and he took more from me than got taken from you. I was able to go underground, even from him."- Pyrrha (htn. pg. 494)

notes from nona the ninth:

Used to be a cop, made detective, knew Gideon from "way back" (ntn. pg. 74)

"'You should be draining and replacing her fucking brain fluid,' said Pyrrha. 'When Gideon and I designed that trial, I used to crack his skull and sieve it myself, just as a control variable. It's aggregative. I doubt you're testing her white blood cell count either. The only other people I put through that damn trial were Mercy and Cris, because only Cris didn't mind being trepanned on the regular. Fucking around with souls is the problem, Sextus… you can't ever get data on souls.'" - Pyrrha, discussing when Cam & Pal "overlap" (ntn. pg. 84)

"I visited her hometown back before Anastasia got settled, and it was grim as fuck then. Just spooky caves all the way down…" -Pyrrha (ntn. pg. 86)

"'Do they still do gravid carry where you come from?' 'On the Sixth, only for research,' said Palamedes. 'I helped at a birth once. Theres a lot of noise and run-up before the real thing happens.'" -Pyrrha and Palamedes (ntn. pg. 121)

"P- was great, but like, Ministry ties or no Ministry ties, a big part of her career was going around to the local high schools and telling the drugs kids that they shouldn't be doing drugs. She'd won medals for competition shooting back north in Hamilton, but we're not talking Jesse James. We're talking Hamilton."- john (ntn. pg. 191)

"She chose us that day, not her career. I always loved her for that. She'd adored being a cop." -john (ntn. pg. 191)

"and it was P- of all people who said, First things first. If they're going to let us fix the world, you've got to make them take us seriously. Get some leverage. If they want to make you into a bad wizard, be a bad wizard. We can write the history books to say you were a good wizard. Or at least an okay wizard. They're not going to listen because we talk nicely, they're going to listen because we scare the shit out of them. He said, Which goes to show you that only getting to NCEA Level 2 isnt going to stop you making waves in life, right." (ntn. pg. 271)

"Nona had thrown exactly two tantrums in her entire life. She couldn't remember anything about the first one, but Pyrrha had told her about it. Pyrrha had been laughing with her mouth, but not with her eyes: her eyes had been very brown and distant and uneasy, as though this tantrum had reminded Pyrrha of something her brain didn't want to bring back." (ntn. pg. 275)

She mentions disco?? how does she know what disco is??? (ntn. pg. 362)

"Gideon… G-, you died for nothing." -Pyrrha (ntn. pg. 390)

“I remember P- behind a barricade… not dead yet… telling me, John, run.” (ntn. pg. 406)

Died pretty immediately after Mercy and Augustine, but before G1deon (ntn. Pg. 407)

“Who are you, foreigner, that you know the mysteries of the Anastasian?” “I was here before it was the Anastasian,” said Pyrrha absently. “Painted a nursery. Mint green.” (ntn. pg. 453)

“Cass and Mercy and I worked on cell thanergy- we need thanergy, fresh thanergy, to activate…” - Pyrrha (ntn. pg. 471)

“And Alecto said, Pyrrha, he laid me down as an appeasement to them; he fed you to them as an appeasement to them; but he has never appeased me, and now all he has done was teach me how to die.“ (ntn. Pg. 476)

[blueteller]

Quick question – why do the TCF fans keep portraying Bud Illis as an idiot?

It kind of bothers me, because in canon, Bud is not stupid.

Yes, he is a at times reckless (like that time he got captured by Jopis). And yes, he plays the "drunk idiot" role very well, to the point he completely fooled Raon when Cale and Bud met for the first time.

The problem is, for some reason, TCF fans remember that interaction between Cale & Bud in the inn and take it as his actual characterization, and not an act. Which it is.

Because Bud acts like a drunk blabbermouth idiot on purpose, there! Cale himself notices it almost instantly!!

Bud is an interesting character. He's someone who relies on his drunk act – which he does mostly to gather intel, just like OG Cale relied on his act to ruin his reputation – in order to be underestimated. And it works, because everyone is surprised just how much Bud knows, despite being from a different contient than Cale.

However, being drunk and supposedly recklessly talkative (even though I can tell he chose the information he told Cale in that first meeting very carefully, figuring Cale out at the same time), Bud also shows signs of very quick wit and spontaneous planning, just like Cale.

He figures out quickly that Cale and the others are no joke. He's willing to enter an alliance, and show Cale the Directory, and also makes the immediate decision to burn the Directory down, once he realizes that the White Star uses it for nefarious purposes.

We see his competence in the 1,001 mercenary squad rescue, how he's willing to do anything for his men, and isn't too stubborn to ask Cale for help, when he needs it. He's also compassionate and responsible enough to regret putting Cale in danger as he rushes in to save them.

Of course, I understand why the "idiot" part is what the fans actually remember of this character. He got captured by Jopis' "innocent" puppies. That.... wasn't his fault. He has an Ancient Power which should have warned him of potential danger, and yet, the puppies turned out one of the few immune exceptions to his senses. Bud's true mistake was going in alone, and doing so because the wanted to impress Cale. Which is why he gets no sympathy from Cale when they show up to "rescue" him and make a deal with Jopis.

Sorry, Bud, as much as I'm on your side, that was a hilariously stupid mistake on your part.

One incident shouldn't make fans believe that Bud is an idiot, though. The reason it does, however, is because of Glenn. Glenn Poeff's reaction to Bud getting stupidly captured shows us that this was not the first time when Bud was stupidly reckless. But it does fit his overall characterization. Bud is not stupid, but he's not as cautious as Cale, despite his justified paranoia about the White Star aiming to kill him.

Bud's attitude towards Cale's crazy shenanigans also reminds the audience of two specific characters: Toonka, and Archie. Both of which are, at the same time, the "violent thugs" of their society, who contrast Cale in being shocked by his "mad viciousness" and become ironically "the only sane man on board". But just because Bud is also one of the characters who react to Cale as "dude, are you crazy?? Wait, nevermind..." doesn't mean that Bud is at the same intelligence level as Toonka and Archie. In fact, Bud is much, much more intelligent than those two. So it's not really fair to put him together with them in that department.

Bud is also a Sword Master, and a Mercenary King. We can probably conclude two things about his personality from that: one, he loves adventure and swordmanship. Two, he is brave enough to lead and make risks in order to achieve his ambitions. Bud is intelligent and a good actor, but he does love alcohol – he just pretends he's a lightweight (again, just like OG Cale). Bud is a good strategist and fighter, but he does make reckless mistakes from time to time, much to Glenn's exasperation.

So here it is. My reasons why "Bud Illis isn't as stupid as fans portray him in the fandom". Just because he's funny, doesn't mean he's a complete idiot. He's a competent leader, who managed to defend the Mercenaries against Arm in the Eastern Contient for a significant amount of time. He was one of the last lines of resistance towards the White Star there. That says things about him.

Give Bud some love, guys, he deserves it.

[g1deonthefirst]

but re: pyrrha's sexuality

YOU SAID, I AM SORRY, DESTROY ME AS I AM, BUT I WANT TO KISS YOU BEFORE I AM KILLED, AND I SAID TO YOU WHY, AND YOU SAID, BECAUSE I HAVE ONLY ONCE MET SOMEONE SO UTTERLY WILLING TO BURN FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVED IN, AND I LOVED HIM ON SIGHT, AND THE FIRST TIME I DIED I ASKED OF HIM WHAT I NOW ASK OF YOU

this just doesn't quite read super platonic. to me

[mendessi]

speak now | part two

pairing: fem!reader x pre-outbreak!joel

summary: joel saves you from the biggest mistake of your life

(this will end up being a multi-part story)

word count: 2.8k

warnings: smut probably, pre-outbreak, mentions of marriage, based off speak now by taylor swift, mentions of domestic abuse, joel is 26 & reader is 21, mentions of cheating, kind of slow burn, brief mention of death, angst, will add more as i think of them, not proofread

part one| part two | part three | part four |part five

minors dni

Joel lent you a t shirt and some sweatpants of his and let you shower. The least of his concern was that Tommy may show up and get the wrong impression should he see you in their shared hotel room. Considering the clock on the nightstand read 2:49, it was unlikely he'd be returning tonight. 

It took thirty minutes for Joel to get your nose to stop bleeding, only for it to start bleeding in the shower again. You managed to stop it on your own then. When you stepped out of the bathroom, Joel was waiting with a pack of ice he had gotten from down the hall. 

He pressed it to your cheek once you sat on the edge of the bed and he once again was on his knees between your legs holding your face between his thumb and pointer finger, examining intently looking for more damage now that you were dry. 

"Your shoulder was him too wasn't it?" Joel asked as he pieced things together in his mind.

"Pushed me down a flight of stairs." You admitted. You felt okay admitting these things to Joel because he was the sun and he surrounded you in warmth and safety and he melted away the icy bits of you that nobody else was allowed to see. 

"Fuck." He cursed under his breath. "You can't marry him. Please."

"I don't have a choice." You replied. 

"Like hell. Please. You can't marry him." He repeated the words just in a different order but your mind was still made up. You had nothing else. Nobody else. Not even Joel would be here in two weeks. This stranger that you had grown attached to. He'd be back in Austin with his daughter and brother. 

"What else would you have me do?" 

"Anything else." Joel was pleading with his eyes as he stared at you. He couldn't imagine leaving El Paso knowing that you were stuck with him for the rest of your life. Someone as horrible as him treating someone as sweet and kind as you so fucking terribly. He wouldn't stand for it. If it meant killing the man with his bare hands he'd do it. 

God, he sounded insane. He just met you. Spent a total of two hours with you and he was going insane over you. 

Noticing your silence, he realized he wasn't going to get anything else out of this conversation tonight so he sighed and stood on his feet. 

"You can sleep in my bed and I'll sleep in Tommy's." Joel said. "We can talk more tomorrow." 

"Thank you." 

Joel waited for you to settle in his bed and then turned the light off before getting into Tommy's bed. The sheets smelled like him and you couldn't help but take a deep breath, sulking in the scent that reminded you of comfort. No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't sleep. Anxiety was pounding in your chest at the events of the night and how you somehow ended up lucky enough to have someone to take you in. That had never been the case before. 

Believing in the way of the universe is what got you this far in life. Without that tiny belief system you instilled for yourself you truly felt like life had no purpose. But the universe willed Joel to walk into your workplace that night and willed him to find you on Main Street, and it willed him to open that door for you. He may not be a permanent person in your life but he'd be the reason you got out of the shitty situation you were in.

He was placed in your life for a reason and you weren't going to let that go unnoticed. 

"Joel?" 

"Hm?" He asked sleepily. 

"Can you sleep over here?" 

Through the dark you couldn't tell but Joel's eyes snapped open, wide awake the moment the words left your mouth. He hesitated but eventually rose from where he lay and joined you in his bed. He was on the edge, afraid to accidentally touch you but you reached for him anyways, pulling his arm around your waist. 

Your eyes fluttered shut as your breathing synced with his and you ignored the fact that you could feel his heart racing against your back when his chest pressed into your body. 

Joel released a deep breath, inhaling the scent of the hotel shampoo falling off your hair. He listened as your breathing slowed and eventually was able to tell you had fallen asleep by the way your body relaxed into his. 

There it was. The warmth and safety radiating off of him and embracing you as you both fell into a deep slumber.

Joel woke up before you around seven a.m just like every morning. You were facing him and had an arm draped around his torso. A smile crept onto his face but was quickly replaced with pursed lips and furrowed eyebrows when he saw how the bruise had set in overnight. You looked so peaceful, so beautiful with your eyes shut and your lips parted slightly as you breathed so softly in a deep sleep. If he didn't know any better, he might've thought you were an angel and that was the most simple way he could describe your beauty. 

His fingers trailed from your forehead, down your temple until they reached your lips. A feeling close to anxiety filled his chest as he stared and took in your facial features. 

It was hard to believe that somebody that made him so comfortable equally scared him just as much at the same time. Joel Miller was almost a person that didn't even believe in love but with you, he felt everything. Love always felt like one step away from pain for him. And the idea of leaving El Paso without you felt just about unbearable. 

It felt insane to say but Joel Miller had stupidly fallen in love with the woman he had only met a week ago. It may even have been safe to say that while he didn't believe in love at first sight when he saw you, you instantly became everything to him in the moment he did. 

Joel didn't bother you with questions about what happened the night before as the two of you sat at breakfast the next morning in one of the cafes near the hotel he was staying at. The two of you simply engaged in small talk, talking about your childhoods, what it was like growing up in Austin and El Paso, dreaming about seeing something other than Texas. He refused to pry into your personal life, afraid to upset you after what you'd gone through the night before. 

"Joel Miller, I feel like I've known you my whole life." You leaned against the booth, staring at the handsome man sat across from you. 

"I wish we woulda met sooner." Joel said honestly. "Maybe you'd never have to go through what you've been through. It ain't fair." 

You shook your head glancing at the engagement ring wrapped around your finger, "I wish I met you sooner too. Maybe in a different life." 

"It doesn't have to be that way." He reached across the table, taking your hands in his. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I just mean..." he pondered on his words, trying to avoid coming off too strong, "We're friends now. We can stay friends even after I go back to Austin." 

"Right." You nodded slowly. Wanting and hoping to hear something else you turned your gaze out the window. "We can stay friends." 

After breakfast Joel dropped you off at your place so you could get a change of clothes and then took you back to his hotel while him and Tommy went to work for the day. You ended up finishing a book you started the week before and then sketched in your journal for the majority of the day. Without even realizing it, you found yourself drawing Joel. 

Joel was perfect. Too good to be true. Men like him didn't actually exist and you felt positive the universe put him in your life just to tease you and show you what you could have instead of the monster that you went home to every night. Why else would you meet him just for him to leave three weeks later. The universe was playing with you just like always. 

Once Joel and Tommy were off, Tommy went out with the girl he had been seeing since the first night he went to The Ginger Duck and you convinced Joel to hand over his truck keys so you could take him somewhere you used to go as a teen all the time. 

You were thankful the lake was empty when you pulled up, likely because it was the middle of the week. More thankful than anything that you were off of work and able to spend this time with him. 

"Are we swimmin?" He asked as he got out of the car, practically tripping over himself to open the door for you. 

"Maybe." You tried to hide the smile inching onto your face but you couldn't help it. 

The lake was encased by ridges that were too small to be considered cliffs but were high enough to jump off of. This was such a hangout for you and your friends when you were in high school and god bless the new teen club that had opened up the summer before because now they were consumed with being half adults that they never came here anymore. 

"I came here all the time when I was younger." You said to him staring at the pink and blue cotton candy sky. 

"Sarah would love this place. She loves the water." Joel put his hands on his hips, popping his knee out as he studied his surroundings. It was a tranquil lake and quite beautiful if he was being honest. 

"You miss her, huh?" Glancing over at him, you wanted to reach out and touch him but refrained. 

"I talk to her every night on the phone, but man I just miss the way she'd squeeze me after comin home from a long day of work." Joel said, a hint of sadness in his eyes.

"You'll be home soon." You reassured him. "Come on."

You pulled your shirt off of your head and then stepped out of your jean shorts and ran towards the water to which Joel quite literally scrambled to strip down to his boxers and follow you in, almost as if he were a love sick puppy. 

It was a bit cold at first but it your bodies adjusted fairly quickly. "It's nice right?" 

"Quiet." Joel nodded. 

He kept his eyes on yours, no matter how badly they wanted to venture to other places. You however had no shame in staring at his toned stomach and back, how strong his arms looked when he held them out to touch the surface of the water. He was a beautiful man, similar to what you'd imagine a Greek god to look like. Especially with the way the bridge of his nose resembled that of a Greek god. 

"Isn't it crazy how the universe just plans everything out for us and then puts us in certain places at certain times?" You asked as you moved to float on your back, staring at the sky as it shifted colors.

"What, like you and me here right now?" He asked, it was muffled because your ears were under water but you could still hear him loud and clear.

"Exactly like you and me here right now." You reached your hand towards him and he pulled your body towards his, smiling down at how you were floating in front of him. "We were put together for a reason." 

"You sound a little crazy." Joel teased, resting his hand on your head, the other gently on your exposed stomach. His eyes still locked onto yours. 

"What were the odds of you and I being together right here right now? Like... is there something more that we're supposed to give each other?" Anybody else might've been convinced that she had smoked a blunt right before the conversation, but Joel knew that this was just you talking. He knew that you had to create scenarios and excuses for why your life turned out the way it did so he let you and he went along with it. 

"I think we have a lot to give each other." Joel said looking down at you. "I think there's a purpose for us being here, we just have to figure it out." 

I'm supposed to save you. He wanted to say. Run away with me. I love you.

You hummed in response and then stood up to your feet and looked up at him. His hands reached up and cupped your cheeks as the water stilled around you and his eyebrows furrowed again as he was reminded that somebody had disgustingly laid their hands on you, causing your beautiful skin to bruise and swell. 

He leaned in and his nose brushed against yours, your hands finding their way to the bare skin of his torso. You tilted your head, your nose bumping his softly and closed your eyes as you rested your forehead against his. 

"I can't." You whispered. Joel replied with something more or less of a whimper as he nudged your nose with his again. 

"I won't." Joel said lowly. He wouldn't do it unless he had your full permission and he was not far from dropping to his knees in the water and begging for it. 

"I can't." You whispered again, but somehow your chest was pressed against his and your arms were now around his back, hands flush against his shoulder blades.

He wanted so badly to kiss you, to just hold you against his body and kiss you gently in the way you deserved. He needed you more than he needed air to breathe and he wanted nothing more than to feel your lips against his. Your lips accidentally brushed against his and his stomach flipped as his hands slid around your waist.

You opened your eyes and looked up at him for one more moment, the last ounce of resistance in you fading away. "I can't." You said one more time before giving in and standing on your toes to close the gap. 

Joel kissed you like he had never kissed anyone in his life before. Your lips connected and he pulled your legs around his waist, arms wrapped tightly around your waist. Your breaths were heavy as the two kissed in the middle of the lake, not an inch of space between your bodies. Joel took note of how soft your lips were against his and the way your tongue felt gliding against his own. He'd remember this moment forever, feeling like a teenager again.

Warmth once again embraced you as his lips molded into your own in such a gentle and equally passionate kiss. You had never known a kiss more gentle than his, but still laced with fire at the same time. 

It was unclear how long the two of you stayed in the lake just kissing each other, and whispering sweet nothings that made it sound as if you had been together for a lifetime. 

The two of you walked hand in hand back to shore and pulled the blankets you packed out and sprawled them across the bed of the truck to look at the stars once the sun had finally set. 

"You don't really see em like this in Austin." Joel said admiring the stars. The two of you were tangled in each others arms, legs intertwined as you took in the night sky, both trying to pretend you knew anything about constellations. 

"Well that one's gotta be the big dipper then." Joel playfully argued with you. 

"My dad used to point out every single constellation in the sky to me." You told him, "Always had an eye for anything to do with space. I used to tell him I was gonna be an astronaut just so I could know more than him." 

"I'd take you to the moon if I could." Joel replied, his fingers tracing patterns against your arm. 

"What do we do now, Joel?" The idea of so much uncertainty made you nervous to say the least. Joel was only in town for two more weeks and what happened once he left?

"I don't know, baby." He admitted and your heart fluttered at the use of the name, "We gotta figure it out." 

You and Joel came down to the lake every day once he was off work, and you managed to get away with calling in sick for the rest of the week. The visits consisted of the same thing everytime: making out in the lake, star gazing in the bed of his truck and telling each other stories from pieces of your lives. 

You truly felt like a kid in love again, falling harder than for him than you had anyone in your life. It scared you in the amount of time that this was happening. So quickly but still feeling like years were dragging by.

PREV | NEXT

[theriverbeyond]

top 5 tlt lines :)

ok im eepy in bed so this is me paraphrasing/going off memory, pls excuse ant inaccuracies:

every lock, every cuff you snapped on me, every crappy plate of food you put in front of me, did you ever know that I was the true blue daughter of the EMPEROR you are what you were, gideon nav, worthless millstone hung about my darling's neck, it didn't feel good it didnt feel good FUCK why didn't it feel good

you were screaming.... i wanted you to stop...... i wanted you. i wanted you like a caveman wants a wildfire or the sun. I thought you were going to take me, somehow. purge me use me but you didn't say anything. i was babbling SHOW ME come on im READY you kepy screaming and screaming like a baby in pain.... so i tried to hurt you... i did hurt you.... the cave man. the wildfire. the neolithic priest staggering in front of the falling star

let us seek not forgiveness but forgetfullness.... children will always get born. houses will always get built. and flowers will die on necromancy's grave....

her voice was a murmur now, on the very edges of hearing. of the land that shall recieve thee dying, in the same will i die, and there will i be burried, if aught but death part me and thee......

I WILL REMEMBER THE FIRST TIME YOU KISSED ME YOU APOLOGIZED YOU SAID IM SORRY DESTROY ME AS I AM BUT I WANT TO KISS YOU BEFORE I AM KILLED I SAID TO YOU WHY AND YOU SAID BECAUSE I HAVE ONLY ONCE MET SOMEONE SO UTTERLY WILLING TO BURN FOR WHAT THEY BELIEVED IN AND I LOVED HIM ON SIGHT AND THE FIRST TIME I DIED I ASKED OF HIM WHAT I NOW ASK OF YOU I KISSED YOU AND LATER I WOULD KISS HIM TOO BEFORE I UNDERSTOOD WHAT YOU WERE AND ALL 3 OF US LIVED TO REGRET IT WHEN I AM IN HEAVEN I WILL REMEMBER YOUR MOUTH AND WHEN YOU ROAST DOWN IN HELL I THINK YOU WILL REMEMBER MINE

[andry-di]

Guys guys, question for those whom have read Harrow the Ninth. Page 252 in the paperback version; Wake memories: "[...] and you said, because I have only once met someone so utterly willing to burn for what they believed in, and I loved him on sight, and the first time I died I asked of him what I now ask of you [...]"