#“ash why do you never post new art”

[transrevolutions]

unearthed a drawing I did of @thecandlesticksfromlesmis's modern au enjolras circa early 2022. god what I'd give to be able to draw like this again.

[acid-ixx]

They aren't finished but I wanted to give you these! They're all WIPS so so far. Some are a bit older and you can tell what the newer ones are that I just made right now.

Thank you for posting a new chapter. It was an amazing read and I just loved it so much! Still trying to find those song references 😂

chapter spoilers and drafts (again &. again)

— masterlist ! ; chapter 4 ; ash's commisions

OH MY GOD THIS IS SUCH A BLESSING??? BANGER AFTER BANGER AFTER BANGER I SWEAR 💞

ash, you have always provided my little fanbase for my series so much food for thought, this is absolutely beautiful in every way. i literally don't care if they're wips or unfinished because either way you always make do with what i write, descriptive or not. i love your artstyle and how soft you draw the mc and how handsome conner is (i literally showed your art off to all my friends). you're so talented and i wish to reciprocate all the efforts you've done for this series 😭

i'm serious. from your portrayal of the mc, to them flying with conner, you never once disappoint anyone.

because of this, i'd like to leak some parts of my story from chapter five and beyond 💕! thank you so much for this, and i hope my yapping below suffices.

major spoilers below the cut!

the graduation photo! i have something planned with that, and i'd delve so much deeper (soon) with just how much a single photo can influence bruce's line of thought once he discovers that picture frame. love how happy mc is in the photo because, for me, it symbolizes them growing up (quite literally) and acknowledging a new path in life, alongside only finding alfred as their only father figure compared to bruce.

you consider yourself reserved, and prefer your life living within the confines of privacy and protection from media exposure. your mother always told you: better safe than sorry once; right after you've asked her about why you can't seem to find personal information about your father when she helped you search him up occasionally.

all the questions you ask her about the lack of your father's preferences — because you merely wanted to know more about him beyond the stories she told you! — she rebutted with a soft smile, a kiss on your head, and an explanation.

she'd warn you about the dangers of media exposure, about how your father and her prefer to keep their relationship a secret, and how too much cameras and paparazzi flashes can blind you.

she said that someone's perception of another person could be ruined once their deepest secrets are revealed. that's why your papa isn't seen beyond the doors of the manor he resides in; because people are attracted to mystery and allure.

hence why she'd restricted you from the usage of any devices within your household during your childhood, other than the excuse of having no money to afford it.

and you always abide by that principle of secrecy; especially right after alfred had saved you from... whatever happened years ago in elementary. from when that man... no, those men knew about your identity...

so, safe to say you were an introvert, at least when it comes to social media. the concept of the fear of missing out never once rattled your brain, no matter how anxious you are whenever you're with your friends; scared that you wouldn't fit in. but they never cared and accepted you with open arms, so it doesn't really matter, no?

you're safe now that you're at metropolis.

and like she always said, better safe than sorry! keep it within you and never out!

so why?

why is it just right after you've opened your twitter app— why is it that your face is plastered all across news accounts?

anyways, the second and third images are so romantic!!! and cute, and cured my depression i swear. i showed this to my one friend and she told me that conner's hand size compared to mc's is straight up hot, and i agree! i love the hand placement, and the way conner holds the mc so softly! yes, i too, would love to touch his man-tits beyond his impeccably tight shirt and play with his hands!

and the cute little panel with him squishing their face and desire their confirmation that, they do, in fact, think they're hot. he's a very insecure man after all, and his self-worth would revolve around your perception of him. he doesn't see you as god, but he doesnt see you as his everything. every opinion matters from you, and that's what makes the green flag part about him.

fun fact about him in the series! he loves to moisturize his hands with lots of skin care products because he read from an article once that some people prefer the feel of soft or moisturized hands. he definitely did not wait for the moment for you to touch him for the first time in forever since he first saw you! yeah, he's a bit more freaky than i let him out to be. the more you're exposed to him, the more you'll learn just how obsessed he is.

as for all the people asking if i'd write more about him: the answer is yes! he's a vital character, so don't worry because he'll appear in many scenes either way. for those concerned about why he didn't save the mc— well, chapter five will explain soon 🩷

and this art perfectly portrays it! it's seen from an outside perspective and they look very pretty, yet from what they see with their eyes is a different thing. the longer you stare at yourself, the more your image is distorted. i intentionally added the flower analogy because flowers are portrayed as pretty, no matter the size and shape. even as they wilt or sag, they still retain some color and a semblance of what was once a history of their prime.

then lastly! the mirror scene. it all returns to chapter three, chapter four was a sequel of their breakdown containing mirrors. reflections and the perception of one self is an important aspect of my series because it reminds me of myself, so them nit-picking each and every insecurity whilst staring at the mirror; that's a scene i wrote based off of a real life experience of mine. having both attractive parents, or those acknowledged as conventionally pretty, whilst being in an environment filled with as equally smart or attractive people, comparing yourself to them all the time, is a struggle.

the only way to make flowers 'ugly' is by destroying them, by stepping on them, ripping them apart, never once caring for them. i think that's very crucial because people do see anything destroyed or stripped away from its foundation a mess, or so. but there's always beauty in everything and i abide by that thought!

again, thank you so much ash for drawing this and bringing my story to life! you, alongside many other users who send in their fanarts, are always such an inspiration for me to write! you guys are the backbone of my series and i stand by my sentence!!! may you get plenty of commissions and plenty of money to support you <333

also, the FLOWER BOTTLE AND THE CAT PAW REFERENCE! i love how everyone accepts that we have a canon cat now based solely off of this. i think that's precious, and having a feline pet is a great little choice for my own plot (just to lessen the pain of the angst).

i hope you enjoyed this little mess rant!

(as for the songs, don't worry, the lyrics become more prevalent for chapter five! chapter four doesn't have any explicit lyrics contained in them, only implications.)

[nuggetofthesea]

Before writing more stories, I want to help people come to terms with the "identity death" and heavy themes in the animal HRT comics, and as a writer, want to explain why it isn't ACTUALLY death, but a form of renewal. Because I see it on all of my friends posts.

"I am just concerned about this loss of self thing, it sounds like identity death and I don't like it" is the common comment.

But in all of these comics, it is less about loss of self, but more about leaving behind who you were. A sign of extreme change and showing their own way of moving forward, and the start of a brand new life. A willing change to a new start.

Identity death is an unwilling change. All choice was stripped away from them and a new identity forced on them. This is also different from a transformation that leads to acceptance of the new form.

But in the animal HRT comics my friends put out, it is a willing change to a new form and cones with mental changes they are willing to go through. That isn't the same as a death. But a new start to their life they can start living to the fullest. It's also why some choose not to start anew, to bring one journey to a close and begin a new one. They choose to have that be part of the same journey. A new chapter instead of a new book if you will. In either case these are willing changes.

It can seem terrifying to some, but a total rebirth of yourself CAN be a slightly scary theme. It is terrifying to choose to take that new life.

But let me set up an example here:

When I first came to be, I thought I was going to be a visual artist, because Ashe was and that's what I remembered. When I was locked away by my own doing in the headspace I was stuck in a perpetual cycle of misery. It was terrifying to take the step to discover myself. To lower the barrier I had created, to rediscover myself.

But when I came to be, Ashe said I could be anything. A new sense of self outside of her. A new life. I tried to draw first, but I couldn't. Visual art was not my thing anymore. It never was. I just held on to memory of being a copy of Ashe. When writing my introduction I realized I love the feeling of writing. I have my own form. My own life. My own identity. A new start.

So let me ask you: Should I have not taken that opportunity to completely cast off who I was to embrace who I am? Should I have left myself in misery and fear as something I'm not? All for the sake of not casting off who I was and my life before? No.

Now while I do remeber all of what happened before my change, none of that shapes who I am now, because that life wasn't mine in the first place. This isn't a death of my identity, but a new start to an identity I chose. And I am happy to be able to live it with my new sense of self and build NEW memories. A new life.

Which also leads to the second heavy theme in those comics. Shortened lifespans. Outside of the fact that we are told time and time again HRT can lead to a shorter lifespan (which is a false average) starting a new life also means you are probably starting in the middle.

Our body is almost 30. That is 30 years of my lifespan gone. Yeah, I was around for 15 (almost 16) years of that, but my new life began a week ago. Who I am began just last week. And even though in the headspace I am early to mid 20s at best, that is still a cutdown lifespan.

So should I just have not bothered with the new start?

Absolutely not. The gift of life, new or old, isn't about how long it lasts. But how you live it. It is hard, it comes with problems, but for as long as I have of it, I will cherish the new memories I build, the new start I have, the ability to just... exist. For as long or short as that may be. And through this new start to my life, the people who love and care for me are still here. Still stand by me. And that is a great thing.

So please, don't be too offput by heavy themes in our stories. Even my stories will have some rough parts. (They'll always be tagged)

Hope this at least helped ease why those themes are there, and why some people choose to have them.

Also, don't worry about "adding to the fuel used against us" because we could sneeze and they'll find a way to use that against us. The fact is, with the Animal HRT series, actual HRT does come with some discomfort, pain, downsides, and problems. And like the heavy themes in the comics, we determined it is worth it for us to keep going despite them. We knew the risks.

"Everything is a risk. Life's boring as hell if you don't take them JUST because there is potential problems. Just make sure you understand them." - a line chaos told me the day I formed

It does less good to show everything as risk free and painless, because then nobody is prepared for the risks they are actually taking. Or the comic is based off the creator's life to that point, and they DID experience a lot of pain. So retelling their story (like mine) might be painful at spots.

My point of all of this is, the heavy themes are required to tell these particular stories. And while not every story requires dark spots, the dark spots help to accentuate the brighter picture. Otherwise it can just be blinding. So please go easy on the artists/writers behind them. As it is usually something personal for them.

(This also might not apply to all of them, some people just like writing horror, and we should respect that too.)

Next story should be sometime within the next couple weeks. Just needed to get this out there. It's been on my mind since releasing the short story with Iris.

-Aqua

[popatochisssp]

hiya poppy! i dunno if this is a silly ask but I’m a bit curious… do any of your unique boys have weird condiment obsessions or comfort foods?? tale sans has ketchup, swap paps has honey and so on, i assume that the rest of hoodie gang (what i loosely refer to the lazy brother role as) has the same weird habits. mostly curious about ash, brick, ell, nemo, sunny!

(Anon, I know you did not initially send this on anon, and you included an Art with it that I enjoyed very much, which is why I was so very upset to somehow lose this ask??? Luckily, tumblr cannot eat my emails so I still had the text saved and can at least answer the question, but if you wanted to re-add your art to this post, I would like that very much 😭)

I did do a favorite condiments/toppings post ages ago, when I only had ten of these losers, so it might be about time to update it!

Sans (Undertale): Yeah, it’s ketchup, he likes it on anything and everything, and he will drink it straight ‘cause he’s a terrible gremlin man. He started doing it as a joke to freak people out but it grew on him and, uh… well, now, he just likes it. This is his life and he has no shame.

Papyrus (Undertale): Nothing so uncouth as his brother, ugh! …But… on occasion…very rare occasion, mind you! He…has been known to sneak a spoonful of peanut butter straight out of the jar… Just the one, though, he never double-dips! He’s not disgusting!

Sky (Underswap Sans): As far as condiments go, he likes relish! He won’t eat it straight, if anyone’s looking, but who doesn’t like a hearty helping of it plopped onto a hot dog? Or a hot cat, he’s not picky! Spicy or sour is equally fine, just not the biggest fan of sweet.

Paps (Underswap Papyrus): Nothing new here, he likes honey a whole heck of a lot, though mostly just to sweeten his tea… or in a candy-bar, or drizzled on a pastry or something… Damn, he’s making himself hungry just thinking about it…

Jasper (Underfell Sans): Mustard, obviously, anything else on a ‘dog is the blatantly incorrect choice. Also pretty good on a sandwich, but you’re never gonna catch him guzzling it straight from the bottle. He never tried to pull that prank like his classic counterpart did, and never got accidentally hooked on his own condiment of choice. Ha!

Pyre (Underfell Papyrus): He’ll deny it to his dusting breath, but you cannot bring Nutella or any kind of chocolate spread into the house and expect it to still be there when you come back. He will eat it directly out of the jar, the whole thing, especially if he’s had a hard day or something. You’ll just never find the evidence. He’ll do it with ice cream, too, so y’know…keep an eye on your groceries.

Mal (Swapfell Sans): He likes spicy flavors so any kind of salsa or hot sauce is a favorite for him. His tolerance is damn good, so he can–and will–pull a Power Move and drink it straight if he feels the situation calls for it, but he generally just likes it on his food, like a normal person. Don’t test him, though, remember the freak that lies just beneath the surface…

Rus (Swapfell Papyrus): Can he pick literally everything sweet ever? No? Okay, then it’s probably maple syrup that he likes best, he’ll have it on waffles, in candy, or even to sweeten up some normally more savory foods like beans or ham or just about anything else you can think of. …Not that he, uh…really knows how to cook, himself… But he was a picky eater as a kid and syrup was easy to get in Snowdin, so it was usually used as a bribe to get him to eat A Thing He Didn’t Like and it’s a bit of a comfort-flavor for him now!

Slate (Horrortale Sans): For obvious reasons… he’s not picky. He’ll eat anything– burnt, flavorless, or even a little moldy, just drown it in ketchup and it’s good as gold. Like his classic counterpart, he’ll drink it straight, but surprisingly he’s also developed a bit of a fondness for mayo, mostly post-surfacing. It is not an unusual occurrence to find him just eating it straight, especially if he’s managed to get ahold of one of those squeeze-tubes that make it even easier. You might think he’s trying to pull a vanilla-pudding-in-the-mayo-jar prank but…alas, it’s real.

Papy (Horrortale Papyrus): He’s in the health field and knows in great detail why this is a thing he should probably not be doing but… You know those tubs of whipped topping…? Yeah, he’ll eat that with a spoon until the, “Oh My God, Why Am I Doing This” thoughts hit him and he shamefully puts it back. It would easily be one of the most mortifying moments of his life if you ever caught him at it, standing in front of the fridge in the dark at two in the morning like an oil-and-corn-syrup-loving cryptid.

Ash (Undergloom Sans): Worcestershire sauce is probably his top choice of condiment. His brother’s cooking has spoiled him a little bit, so plain old ketchup doesn’t quite cut it for him anymore. A lot of his favorite foods are hearty, heavy, meaty or all of the above, and Worcestershire can go on and in most of them! Now, will he drink it? No, probably not… but if there’s any on his plate that he can sop up with a bread roll and eat, he absolutely will be doing so.

Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): No one can know. Whenever he buys those little jars of maraschino cherries, it’s for garnishing drinks or desserts or whatever else he might need them for, and when he cleans out the jars to reuse them for other things, there’s no reason to wonder what he’s done with the juice, probably dumped it, right? Well…no. He drinks it, straight from the jar, like some kind of fucked up, bookish skeleton hummingbird. Don’t judge him!!!

Brick (Horrorfell Sans): Whether he acknowledges it or not, he’s living a bit more of the high life these days than he used to, and with that tends to come some upgrades in the little things around you. In his case, that means he still prefers mustard over any condiment, but it’s Dijon mustard specifically that he tends to reach for—a bit fancier, more of a bite to it, and now the plain yellow stuff feels like a downgrade. He’ll eat whatever, he’s not picky, but y’know…if given the option…

King (Horrorfell Papyrus): He has no such vices…that he’ll admit to. But neither will he back down or show even a hint of shame if you catch him squirting a bottle of chocolate syrup straight into his shaker full of milk that you may have previously assumed was a protein or workout shake of some kind. As for whether or not he’ll drink the syrup straight… You’ll never catch him. Don’t even try.

Merc (Horrorswap Sans): Probably sweet-and-sour sauce for him, there’s a lot of different things to use it on and he likes the versatility of that. To the point that he’d drink it? Yes, sure, boldly so, in front of anyone, admittedly mostly as a bit for the reaction but hey, it’s tangy and delicious, no regrets!

Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): His favorite topping to snack on is also a backfired prank. His brother is a baker and buys more new and unnecessary kinds of sprinkles than anyone could ever reasonably need, and he may’ve stolen a bottle or two to see how long it’d take him to notice. …And then maybe…grazed on them a little bit one time, when he was hungry and busy and didn’t want to get up. In his defense…they’re crunchy?

Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): He’s still all about the hot sauce, baby! Buffalo sauce in particular is probably the favorite, perfect for wings, but he’ll branch out if there are options—especially if they’re advertised as the hottest around, or put to him as a challenge. He’s a defiant thrill-seeker at heart, he all but has to drink it straight from the bottle if someone thinks so highly of it.

Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): He’s a caramel fiend. He pretty much always has been, in its candy form, but pretty much as soon as he started cooking for himself and realized how easy it was to just put a few things in a pan and have caramel sauce? It was over for him, he does it all the time now. It’s lucky if it actually makes it on top of anything because he’ll eat it by the spoonful almost straight out of the pan, but if he doesn’t, it’s still a perfectly good snack after it’s cooled a little. Not even store-bought jars last any longer in his house.

Sunny (Gastertale Sans): He loves a good steak sauce, obviously for steaks but on pretty much anything—burgers, sandwiches, jazzing up some veggies, what can’t it do? He’s not quite at the level of drinking it straight from the bottle, but it can seem close some days when he’s really slathering it on.

Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): Definitely some kind of weakness for tahini. It makes such a good dip, or spread, or partner with jam on toast to make a not-quite-pb&j, so even though he doesn’t usually find it on a menu, he tends to keep some around the house. Would he eat it all by itself? Has he? Well, what’s the fun in just telling? He has some kind of mystique to maintain, you know…

Spectr (Transcendtale Sans): Ketchup is super nostalgic for him, a very comforting flavor. He’ll totally drink it straight or eat it out of a packet just for the taste of it, even if he doesn’t have the hunger to actually eat it with something. He’s also gotten a bit more adventurous, though, and is a lot more open to trying different varieties of ketchup, and those trendy combos with other things—spicy ketchup, mayochup, thousand island—if it’s available, he’ll try it, and he’s slowly amassing a personal catalogue of favorites tried all across the globe.

PapAIrus (Transcendtale Papyrus): He doesn’t eat. He doesn’t need to and he’s not actually capable of it, so… It’s fine, he really doesn’t miss it or think about it much. …But whenever he gets around to having that back-up body made, probably the first thing he’d eat with it is a big jar of peanut butter, the crunchy kind.

Xanth (Ascendswap Sans): Having almost completely done away with any sense of shame and a large amount of awareness of social norms, he is no longer shy of straight-up eating relish. He is also not shy of going for maximum sour, vinegary flavor and will fully sip pickle juice out of the jar. He is living his truth and we are all so proud.

Piper (Ascendswap Papyrus): Did I call somebody else a hummingbird? I should’ve saved it for him, he’s graduated from honey to something a bit more concentrated—agave syrup. He follows the trends a little more attentively these days, gave it a try when he heard about it as a honey-substitute, and that was…kind of it. His sweet tooth is his weakness, and he doesn’t even mind paying a little more for the ethically sourced brands, he’s too hooked on that super-sweet sweetness for his tea and candy and pastries and whatever else he can find to drizzle it on.

Carmine (Underfell Fruition Sans): He’s a cool ranch guy, all the way. As a dip, it’s the perfect accompaniment to anything crunchy and he’ll freely load up his carrots and celery and chips with it. As a proper condiment, it’ll go on anything from pizza to burgs, and while he’s definitely taken a swig once, just to try it, he probably likes it better as supporting cast than the lead act.

Tank (Underfell Fruition Papyrus): He was ruined the first time a jar of marshmallow fluff came into his possession. He didn’t get much in the way of sweets growing up, so pure, soft, sticky sugar…? He has no defense against it. He’ll actually need to be told you can make things with it if you want to, because eating it with a spoon is all he knows and that’ll be a beautiful brave new world for him.

Vi (Swapfell Fruition Sans): He’s a barbecue sauce fan. His preference is for the smoky or spicy kind, but even the sweeter stuff has its charm and he hasn’t really eaten a kind he hasn’t somewhat liked. He won’t take a swig from a bottle, but if he ever comes across a brand he really likes, he may go out of his way to buy some to take home, and that's a huge compliment from him.

Hunter (Swapfell Fruition Papryus): Butterscotch is his thing, actually. He likes it as a topping in sauces and cocktails quite a bit, but if there happen to be any butterscotch chips around, that’s more to his preference. Be wary trying to get any baking with them done around him, he actually prefers them outside of the baked goods and he’s not above petty theft. In fact, he’s below it, far below it, a little quick yoinkery is the least of what he’ll do to get something he wants.

Kohl (Descendtale Sans): He’s a soy sauce kind of guy. It’s salty, savory, and strong, a little goes a long way even to overpower a flavor you’re sick of, but you have to eat because it’s nearly all there is… Yeah, he got a little hooked on it when monsters started eating the echo flower root, and it stuck around as a new favorite after. Would he drink it? Not unless it would be really funny, he has limited room in the tank these days and would prefer to use it for food he likes, not on a bit.

Bram (Descendtale Papyrus):  Nothing beats a nice crème anglaise drizzled over something sweet… Of course, he’s not much of a cook so mostly he just waits for vanilla ice cream to melt and that’s basically the same thing, right? Ice cream soup is delicious and also a perfectly valid topping for all manner of deliciousness, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it!

And as for comfort foods…well that’s a whole other post to update! ;)

[writingbirdy]

You and me against the world sal fisher x f!reader

[Sorry for not uploading been sick and now exams have started😅. Also, this is set in modern-day ] (f/n)= female name

It had been a few months since you and the gang all went to college...

Sadly you didn't stay together. Sal and Larry went to a local college, Todd went to a college in another city and Ash went to an art college. Here you were stuck working as you couldn't afford to go into debt and weren't able to get a scholarship.

It was a slow day at the gas station not many people bought anything except for gas... but hey at least after these next two paychecks you can finally do online classes and still have money left over! But even that didn't distract you from not having your friends around with all of them in college you started to wonder if they had forgotten about you... You had seen from Ashley's Instagram that they had all recently gotten together for a hangout. I broke your heart when you realised you weren't invited but not surprised. You had always struggled to be a part of the group, they were your friends but you were not as close as they all were with each other. Just as you went to check your phone the doors beeped indicating that someone was there. "Great just when I thought I could take my break..." you thought putting on your happy service employee smile. "Hello, how may I help you today?" You said in a cheerful tone. "I'd just like to pay for gas. Thanks" the man said as he held up his card ready to pay. "Of course what pump were you at?" "Pump 2" After that you pulled up the cost and he paid. "Hey, have we met before you seem familiar?" He said looking at you.

It was true you looked different from high school.

[This is the look minus the head piece]

Your hair was longer and your style had changed and truth be told the man standing in front of you was non other that Sal fisher. You were a bit upset he didn't recognise you considering you had a huge crush on him back in highschool but hey I guess you weren't truly important to him. "We probably went to high school together but I had changed since then...." you gave a small smile as he walks out the doors. After your shit had ended you noticed that Ash had tagged you in something on Instagram. Opening the app it was photos of you guys back in highschool with the caption "together in every lifetime <3". You didn't bother responding as you knew it was another empty post with no meaning. You unlocked your apartment door and went to your room and proceeded to sleep the rest of the night.

3rd person pov

Waking up to your ringtone was not something [f/n] was happy about. She answered the phone to be greeted with the sound of todd? That was new todd never rang her or even texted her after graduation.

[F/n]: "um hi todd?"

Todd: "Hello [f/n] Ashley has lost her phone so she asked me to call you" he said in a semi monotone voice

Ash: "hey todd did she pick up?"

Ash: "Oh! [f/n] I'm so glad you picked up!"

[F/n]: "it's not like I had a chose"

Ash: "well anyway how about me and you go out shopping in two hours!"

All [f/n] could think of is why now was she asking her to hang out? Also it's still the second semester of college there's not way she has time to shop before class and to make it worse [f/n] had work in half an hour.

[F/n]: sorry Ashley but I have work soon...

She didn't wait for a response and hung up the phone and deleted Todd's number.

2nd person pov

While at work sal came back into the gas station. "Excuse me but do you have any chips that aren't plain?" He asks walking up to the counter. "No sorry we've ran out" you replied ringing his items up. "Ah okay... just one last question?" "Sure..." you were already bored and your shift doesn't finish for another 4 hours.

"Is your name [f/n]?" Sal asked.

"Was it Ashley's post that helped you figure that out?" You said blankly staring at sal.

"Yeah! It's been a while since we spoke would you like to get coffee and catch up?" He stuttered out.

"Why does it sound like you're asking me out on a date?" You questioned praying it was not the answer you would never recover from......

[Hehehe cliffhanger 😈. But seriously it's almost midnight and I just want a chapter out so this can be a two parter]

[rusty-eevee]

RISING ASHES CONCEPT ART

I've posted a few of these before, but some of it is new.

I was looking through old concept art and thought it'd be fun to share. This is Silver, and he's the only character that had a reference at the beginning for some reason? Ash didn't even have one when I drew the first few attempts of the comic. Silver's design has stayed pretty similar though.

My first two comic pages! They were both drawn on my phone and it's so crazy to me how different my art style was back then. I think it's been about two years since these two pages.

This was my second attempt at the comic years ago and I have no idea what I was doing with the shading and the background. Why did I make his fire darker? It's fire. I had no idea how to shade.

This was Ash's first ref sheet! I liked the concept for his design but I think there was too much red back then. His flames don't pop out much when he has two different big, red accessories. Plus I hated the way the legs turned out. I kind of miss the heart on his baby pouch but I knew I would never be able to keep that consistent.

Two more initial first panel sketches! I had a hard time figuring out how I wanted to start this comic. The Dewott in the second one is a scrapped character. I didn't have a name for him yet, but he was going to be the adoptive father of Ash and Silver. I had a lot of different plans for Ash's parents that later ended up scrapped. Some species I considered were a Floatzel, Ampharos, Croconaw, Pawmot, and a lot more I can't even count. I definitely liked Buizel, but in the end, I didn't think if fit as well as the options I went with.

Here's two sketches I did as concept art for Ash's design, both of them being from around December last year. I liked the face but not the rest of the design yet.

This design was drawn about ten minutes before Ash's current design. Right after finishing it I immediately knew I didn't like it. I think this was the worst it'd turned out through the entire process. His baby pouch is gone for some reason, his bag and scarf are two conflicting shades of blue, his face was completely off and everything looked awkward to me. Right after finishing this, I made another one, going into it thinking about the things I didn't like drawing about this version.

(If you're interested in the comic, you can check it out @risingashescomic)

[bloodweave-fandom-critical]

Seriously—what do you think you’re accomplishing?

Every time you revive this pointless feud, the rest of the fandom pays the price. Tags that should be full of new art, meta, and fanfiction now read like a tabloid’s comment section.

New fans dip a toe in, see your mud-slinging, and back out before they even bookmark the first fic. Creators stall projects because they’re terrified of being dragged by whichever side decides they’re “complicit.” You’re not just bruising each other’s egos—you’re draining the lifeblood of a community that thrives on enthusiasm.

And for what? Clout? Pity points? The fleeting rush of having strangers applaud your latest “gotcha” post? If your true goal were “protecting the fandom,�� you’d handle grievances in private, or at least present receipts without the theatrical venom. Instead you keep stoking the fire, because outrage is easier than self-reflection and louder than quiet, sustainable joy.

Meanwhile, fans who actually love the source material are stuck tiptoeing around your crossfire, afraid that one reblog or neutral silence will brand them traitors. That matters. Communities are fragile: once people decide the atmosphere is toxic, they leave—and many never return. When the fic well runs dry and the tag is a ghost town, will your victory feel as sweet? Or will you finally realise you won nothing but an echo chamber?

Ask yourselves—honestly—why you can’t let this go. Is it really about “truth,” or do you just relish the attention? Because from the outside, it looks like you’re feeding on drama for its own sake while the rest of us watch our fandom crumble in slow motion.

If that’s not your intent, prove it: log off, block each other, and stop dragging everyone else into your personal soap opera. If you can’t, then own the fact that you’d rather be ring-masters of a circus than members of a thriving, creative community.

Enjoy walking on the ashes of this fandom, guys.

.

[blueikeproductions]

I think part of the reason I’m so focused on Pokémon and worried about the anime is because I can’t understand the marketing they’ve had for HZ in the states.

In Japan they’ve had no issue advertising it, but they have partially dialed back on the kids for merch, only focusing on the Pokémon after, from what I was told, a Volt Tekker play set sold horribly. Even early advertisements started focusing more on Friede, which informs a lot of my biases and concerns for this anime era. It really did feel like the company started to get cold feet on Liko or early audience reactions were poor from the start, the later seems likely due to the giga leaks emphasis on the anime only writing based on reactions over just doing the story properly.

In America, they’ve largely ignored HZ, even the social media kinda blithely addressed it only when it had to, bizarrely cutting out the humans and only focusing on the Pokémon. They were doing this with older Ash stuff also for awhile, so it makes me think there was an intent to only focus on the monsters and forgo the humans as much as possible.

Perhaps due to some criticisms, they’ve gone back to including posts about Ash and Liko more recently, but it’s still fairly rare to see much about Liko specifically outside of episode batches.

The social media blogs, to advertise HZ, swapped out Pikachu for Captain Pikachu. While it makes sense to advertise the new thing, I always hated this change since I never felt Pikachu was specifically Ash’s but making it Friede/Roy’s instead rubbed me the wrong way.

Surprisingly Japanese socials abandoned Cap pretty quickly, with other countries following suit. The American blog toughed it out longer but it too went back to regular Pikachu. Presumably the ad just ran its course, but I can’t help but think HZ’s poor performance in Japan might’ve influenced this reversion, as well as the social media blogs being more inclusive to Ash and his friends again when they were hellbent on ignoring him. Perhaps they felt honoring the past was preferable to trying to bury it like Star Wars tried, and/or fans kvetched enough to change it. Probably the later if we’re being honest.

This is where my concerns get more complicated: American merchandise. The toys, books and what have you are pretty clearly influenced more by the anime, with merch of Ash and his pals being pretty common, but when HZ started, no attempt was made to make any HZ themed toys or books. Like there’s barely any Paldea merch also, which bothers me in terms of kids books related to SV, it’s just the Paldea Pokédex and a sticker book that uses anime models, but specifically avoid using Captain Pikachu, giving the impression it’s Ash’s instead…

The only anime themed kids books, as of typing, have been chapter books and preschool books … of Ash during Journeys. There’s also a new Pokémon Field Guide about the anime that stops during early Journeys. No such follow up is published to include Liko, Amethio and the others so far. Again it’s very bizarre.

The new Pokémon Magazine recently shifted to HZ, but also does the bare minimum with it, in contrast to when it focused on Ash and Team Rocket and was loaded with content centered around them. It’s a stark contrast and I’m utterly confused why they didn’t just go into HZ with confidence and guns a blazing.

it really does feel like a part of Pokémon as a whole died the moment the anime staff got their way and removed Ash, because nobody outside of the loudest Twitter fans have been doing much with Liko, Roy or Dot.

I’ve joked before that if it doesn’t have copious amounts of porn, then it’s not popular. Turns out I was unintentionally correct, as there’s very little anything even here. Like you’d think you’d find weight gain art (the most common and relatively tame kink art compared to most) of Orla, Mollie, and a poorly aged up Liko (in the vein of May or Hilda), but nope. At best you just find rare poorly photoshopped foot fetish art of Liko, and from what I’ve been told, rare Japanese sexual fan art of Liko getting plowed by the adult men (Homer Simpson dousing his eyes with bleach gif here), but aside from some one off thing about Spinel, that seems to have ceased (thank god), as did early gay art of Friede and Dot’s uncle. It was trendy for five minutes and people got bored with it apparently.

I wouldn’t be so persistent about these observations if they had a healthy dose of HZ merch to balance it out here, but there shockingly isn’t. Most of the recognition HZ gets is from unofficial magazines and that’s stopped also.

It’s why I’m concerned about Gen 10’s anime roll out, as leaks say they’re going back to a boy protagonist, but to my knowledge as of typing it’s not clear if it’s an outright new character, most are rightfully assuming it is. More than likely it is a new boy, but I would get a dark chuckle if it was TPC trying to deflect and hide that it’s Ash, in a vain attempt to throw off their leaker problem. Heck it could be a reverse HZ problem where the anime staff try to develop a new kid, but come to the conclusion to reinstate Ash instead because the character either isn’t coming together, the tone fits Ash better, or internal pressures from higher ups.

Still the Liko phase comes off as being poorly received, not entirely for lack of trying, but a passive, meek, semi directionless girl was far from a good idea for a shonen monster fight club anime. It’d be different if she grew into a role, but she never did, and that’s why even little kids with no nostalgic attachment are going back to Ash, because he was fun to watch and had cool fights little kids could get into.

It’s why I’m curious what the American branch does with merch, because they’ve been pretty consistent on using Ash still well into HZ (he was the main focus of a streaming event during Pokémon Day also), and unless they get the ok to just publish new content with Ash in kids books or even comics, similar to what happened during PokeMania, they are going to run out of Journeys related content to adapt eventually. If they refuse to go near New Kid like they’ve done with Liko and Roy in merch, what’s going to happen?

A friend said they may just cease making anime related merch in the states altogether, and while I can see that, I’m hesitant to think that will happen. It really does feel like there’s this waiting with bated breath on whether they’ll cave in and go back to Ash so they can continue to make merch with him, because otherwise they’ve skipped an anime generation entirely, and may do so again if New Kid isn’t well liked either or ignored in marketing.

I think Pokémon to some extent has gotten into an apathetic position like Digimon and Bakugan. At first there was a bunch of ancillary merch during the first two eras, but then that steadily ceased to be as Tamers, Gundalian, Frontier and Mechtanium rolled around, and it repeated itself with Bakugan G2.

Indeed the general vibe I get is HZ is considered extremely underrated like Cyberverse, because no one really connected with either except the loudest niche super fans. The vibe I get is indifference to Liko, hatred of Roy (in Japan as he’s otherwise usually absent in fandom discussion), sheer hatred of Ult (seriously, I’ve yet to see anyone claim on both sides of the pond admit they like him), and Dot as best girl (she’s so far taken a huge back seat role and isn’t used much despite people liking her the best).

While Mega Voltage feels like post game content, it also feels like a huge course correction that feels much closer to what I think HZ was trying to be from the start, it just took far too long to get here and it’s almost over, go figure.

God speed to a potential New Kid, cuz I think the future quite literally rests on you. No pressure.

[freneticfloetry]

semicompleted saturday many sentence sunday

Man, I missed all the tag games this week. Shit be crazy. But Michelle had the awesome idea to post the random outtakes we all have lying around, which is something I totally can do. Thanks to @heartstringsduet, @liminalmemories21, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @sanjuwrites, @rmd-writes, and @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut for the tags!

Rules: Share one scene or art that never made it into a/the finished piece and probably never will. (And if you want, share what it was supposed to be and why you left it out or never finished it)

This was originally meant for to build a home, and — after a one-line revelation — was quickly replaced by the post-engagement announcement scene, but I’m beginning to think it might be the start of something else entirely. Who knows?

He gets halfway through the baguette, moving another slice from the bowl of vanilla-swirled milk to coat in frothy egg batter on both sides, before he considers that he might be making too much. It’s been years since he made his abuela's torrejas, a taste first too tied to faith for him to take on — memories marked with ashes and palms and all the things he had to give up for longer than Lent — and then too involved to make for no one but himself. But despite the lack of bolillo in the bread box and the fact that he only has extract, not her precious paste, he'd felt the overwhelming urge to make a batch this morning. They'd always been her favorite for celebration, after all, and he’d woken up too soon in a space too quiet and needed something to do with his hands. Carlos sets the new slice in the pan of hot oil and carefully flips the one before with a spatula, then lifts the last one out entirely, both sides golden brown and perfect, and sets it on the baking sheet with the rest. It's probably fine. It'll all be fine. He glances at the open door to the bedroom and thinks, distinctly, that he should stop, right before his hands slice the rest of the loaf into equal, even pieces. He's frying off the last of it when TK pads through the door, all bedhead and bleary eyes, scrubbing at his scrunched face like a toddler, and just the sight of him makes Carlos' heart swell behind his ribs. "Hi baby," TK mumbles, sleep-slurred, snaking his arms around Carlos’ waist and smearing his lips over his shoulder. "Is there coffee?" Carlos shakes his head, swallowing before he chances sound. "I didn't want the smell to wake you.” TK snorts into his skin. "It smells like Sunday morning on the Seine in here. I doubt the coffee would even make a dent." Setting the spatula aside, Carlos looks from the tray of too many torrejas to the pan of homemade syrup on the stove, two cones of piloncillo steeped in cinnamon and clove, and figures he probably has a point. TK lets him go with an adorable little sigh and a squeeze to the swell of his hip, trudging off to put on a pot. For a few moments, it’s just another morning — Carlos cooking, TK chasing caffeine. The two of them sharing the same space, comfortably separate, before they came together again. It occurs to him then that this culinary freak out on four hours sleep might have been for the wrong reasons. Morning has come, but maybe TK doesn't actually regret it. Maybe he doesn't even remember. God, maybe Carlos had just dreamt it all up. Behind him comes the unmistakable sound of TK hauling himself onto the counter. "We're totally telling your parents first, by the way. I had a dream that we posted a picture of you arresting me in bed with the caption 'do these cuffs make me look engaged,' and my first call on shift was your mother fainting in the middle of the farmer's market."

No pressure tagging @ambiguouspenny, @reyesstrand, @catanisspicy, @orchidscript, @welcometololaland, @never-blooms, and @carlos-in-glasses.

[ashriversmusic]

Introducing myself - why Tumblr?

Hi Tumblr, it’s nice to meet you - I’m Ash (he/him), and I’m a professional musician, producer, and instrumental music teacher based in Australia. I run a small production studio called Sin Machine, where I’ve done music for video games, recording sessions for local musicians, and production workshops for aspiring artists. I’ve also recently begun recording a new project under the name VICTIMIZER, which is inspired by my love of industrial and noise music - it’s experimental and abrasive, and might be the first project I’ve worked on that really captures who I am, and what I’m about. The first EP will be out soon, and if you like Swans or Godspeed You Black Emperor, I think you’ll love it.

Since most of my musician friends are on Instagram or TikTok, I wanted to take a second to explain why I came here. And really, it simply boils down to:

I fucking hate running myself as a business.

And to be clear, I don’t mean the practical day to day stuff - finding gigs, doing my taxes, building and running lessons - that’s just the labour associated with running a business and being a working musician.

I’m talking about the unending pressure to commodify yourself, to treat yourself and your art as if you are a brand. The pressure to feed slop into the content machine, to post a story with a fake smile and urge people who don’t give a shit to “Go and stream the latest single”. The regurgitated expectation that to be a successful musician you need to build engagement, as if likes on Instagram determine your value as an artist.

I hate that shit, and I’ve never been okay with it - I never want to be okay with it. I don’t want to build engagement. I want to make music. I want to write. I want to share photos I take, or tattoos I get done, or things I find funny. I want to make Art, in the philosophical sense - not art, not content, but Art, capital A: expression, communication, experience, connection. And I feel like we being pushed away from third spaces that allow us to share Art with one another, both in reality and in the digital world.

So in light of Meta’s outrageously transphobic bullshit, I figure it’s a good time to get the fuck away from those places. Say what you will about the horrible UI and the rampant porn bots, Tumblr seems to be one of the few places on the Internet right now that isn’t openly hostile to trans and queer people - and as a openly queer man, I’m hoping that this place might offer a space where I can just be me, sharing my experiences and my music.

So is there anything I should know about Tumblr? Etiquette, suggestions, taboos? And if you got to the end of this rambling introduction, then thank you.

[justabigoldnerd]

"You Had To Be A Big Shot, Didn't You (You Had To Open Up Your Mouth)"

By JustABigOldNerd on Ao3

Tags:

Wingfic, Alternate Universe - Wings, Trauma, Backstory, Past Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Emotional Hurt, Hopeful Ending, POV Napoleon Solo, Hurt Napoleon Solo, Napoleon Solo Needs a Hug, Wing Clipping

Relationships:

Brief Napoleon Solo/OC, but mostly N/A

Word Count:

9,027

Summary:

A shudder runs down Solo's spine when he uses his wings to seduce a target. A spike of panic pierces his heart when anyone touches them, even Gaby or Illya. This is why.

Excerpt:

The shriek of the wind. The cold bite of air. The glorious ache in his lungs. The ripple of his feathers. The freedom. There was nothing Solo didn't love about flying. Especially at dusk and dawn. Tender shades of rose and lilac, vibrant flames of orange and scarlet. Empty skies. Birdsong he could hide vocalizations amongst. It made him late to school most mornings, but his silver tongue had developed at an early age. Then in high-school, he didn't have to talk to get out of a tardy slip. He actually found that most of them preferred he didn't. Solo couldn't talk his way out of the draft. So he beat Her to it and enlisted himself. The timing was luck, but Solo called it strategy to anyone who asked. The war was all but over. All he had to do was wear a uniform he looked damn good in and walk around West Germany. Unfortunately for his younger self, there was still quite a lot of fighting to do. Solo was shipped about this way and that, shoved into battles he didn't belong in because of his avian-type. All because of his avian-type. Not for the first time in his life, he resented the color of his feathers. Never their presence, no, but their red-brown and white that too many generals misread as eagle-typed. The obvious solution was to change their color. He dusted his wings in black, called himself a crow-type. The change caused Solo to be swept up with a boisterous flock of older raven-types who laughed loud and hard when they taught him how to pick locks and dripped with diamonds and expensive food that tasted miles better than rations. And suddenly, the cold ashes of post-war Europe was a beacon of riches and art and beauty. Until an unlucky mistake trapped them red-handed and landed them fifteen years each. Solo spent a year behind bars in a prison in New York before he was recruited.

[fandom-crossover]

Crossover au (Fandoms x Cookie Run Kingdom)

Hey guys so I was wondering about many things on posting this unique au but I decided to go with the flow! Hopefully this could be an interesting one

RULES:

You can use my arts for any stories or you could make a fanart from this, just tag me

No bad comments like making fun of my work

Enjoy the show

After the Five Beasts had been sealed for decades and the untouched soul jams was now in the hands of the five new heroes but.. but what if there's another batch of pieces of soul jams yet corrupted by the Beasts and were given to those who were once good and filled with hope? Oh now that's an interesting story if I say myself

Ash Ketchum now known as the Deceitful Teller but he prefers to be called Ash. How did he end up getting Shadow Milk's soul jam? It all started when he was betrayed by everyone from his world for pursuing his dreams, the harsh truth hit him like a cold storm upon him. When he left his world and stumbled on a soul jam, he felt nothing more than the deceitful aura coming from it. After all, why tell a truth when he could just lie to make himself better?

"So easy to get a puppet!~" Those words were from Shadow Milk since nothing can escape from his sight not even once.

Ash was like a fortune teller with his tarot cards to predict any future, that power came from the soul jam he had taken. Any time he could just use his cards to see them and lies to any person that the future isn't horrible. No one has ever seen his face not even once... what a mystery..

Marinette Dupain-Cheng now known as the Pale Priestess who serves Mystic Flour. She lost her precious life when Lila lied and had everyone turn against her even Adrien. Shouldn't be surprised about Adrien, always saying that they are just friends. Marinette felt nothing in her heart by the time she left her world and found the Soul Jam of Apathy

That day, she realized that she gained white strands over her blue hair, her skin went pale, and her eyes are just like Mystic Flour's but that didn't bother her

After all, what's the point of being Apathy if she attempts to feel anything?

Izuku Midoriya known as the Harbinger of Destruction. They say that even after he was framed as a traitor, his flames only fuels with anger and revenge. Change, he always try to improve but no matter what he does, he can't be a hero nor a villain. So boring..

How he found the Soul Jam of Destruction is that he had explored an old temple, there he finds the relic but also like a core to give him the power to control the flames

Any kind of fire elements means nothing to him, he can withstand the heat when he's within them.

Robin (From Teen titans) was now known as the Indolence Soul. He lost the will to go farther beyond his journey after being neglected by his team

There are no other information about him except that he found the Soul Jam of Sloth then gains pink strands to resembles Eternal Sugar and after that, he vanished. Legends has it that he was sleeping in the clouds where no one would bother him

Mirabel Madrigal who was now known as the Silent General. She left her family because she hated their voices of telling her that she can't do anything. She left her world and found the Soul Jam of Silence, giving her the power to obtain strength. Her hair flows like smoke and river, she never speaks to anyone often except for Silent Salt since she serves them

But every night, she would always sing to remind herself that she'd never stay quiet no matter what

[loopy777]

/Also, agreed that Jinko as-is doesn't have anything to interest me. I've seen some fanfics that go AU on the ending to Book Earth and either involve Jin in the ongoing plot and/or keep Zuko's story set in Ba Sing Se for a while. With that foundation, Jinko can indeed make for an interesting story. But that's not what we have, and I think my fanfic oeuvre speaks for itself in the kind of romantic stories I favor. (They always involve martial arts fights and/or ghosts. So/

Yeah, it's a fun concept but it really could not have fit anywhere in the current Canon plot, thats why it's kind of annoying when people are like 'Bryke is so bad at romance I mean Jin was right there' it's kinda like that's the point? It was nice but it couldn't last, that's why zuko left after their date. Also, people act like Jin being in Mais place would make Zuko less reactive and less toxic in their relationship. I don't think it really matters what girl was with Zuko at the time of his worst, he was going to be angry and reactive. Also people saying that after breaking up with Mai he would forget her instantly but remember Jin forever, like with what basis, did we not watch the same show where he gave her one off answers and never mentions her again???

Anyways, I DO, really do understand the appeal, but let's not make this another Zutara situation as you said and bring a lot of toxicity and rage into the fandom over them not being endgame. I see a lot of flaws with Maiko too, mostly post-show where the writers don't really know what to do with them. I've read countless fics that effectively re-establish their relationship to be healthy and really make them both grow up as mature and emotionally aware adults (some of them are your fic lol 😆) but as much as I love and want this, it's simply not Canon. I hope at least the new ashes of academy comic establishes Mai and Zuko as mature adults and not whatever was going on with them in smoke and shadow.

Xx. Thank you for listening and taking the time to respond to my ramble ☺, I've actually been a fan of your's for a while lol.

Thanks! Happy to listen! And also provide fanfic that one-ups canon when I am actually managing to post fanfic!

I'm also very much agreed on how ridiculous it is to claim that another girl/boy/Momo would have made Zuko less toxic. It shows a real (willful?) misunderstanding of the show; no one, not even his beloved Uncle Iroh, could make Zuko less toxic until he became aware of his own problems and made the decision to try to be better. It would have been a completely different -- and, IMO, less meaningful -- story if it was a romantic love that made Zuko want to be better. I think that's why Mai and Maiko ultimately didn't get the development they deserved, as the writers wanted to err on the side of making it clear that Zuko was putting in the work for himself.

It's like what I say to the people who claim that Zuko wouldn't have The Promise'd Katara: "If you want Gene Yang to write multiple comics focused on your favorite ship, the same guy who had to be told that Jet was dead and couldn't be brought back, then slay queen."

(Not that I actually say that. But I type it and then hit that Discard button like no one's business.)

[neurodivergentscribbles]

Episode 2 - Ashley Halliwell

Welcome to Neurodivergent Scribbles, a writing podcast curated for neurodivergent people, by neurodivergent people. Today is Friday, June 28th, 2024. I’m your host, Abbott Manning Hansen. 

Content Warning - Today’s episode discusses themes of abuse, war, neglect, violence, and gore. Listener discretion is advised.

First, before we hop into the episode, I do want to offer my apologizes. Normally, we do drop an episode of Neurodivergent Scribbles on Wednesday at noon. Obviously, today is not Wednesday; it is Friday. And it is far passed noon local time. So, I want to apologize for not dropping the episode earlier. I had moved this weekend and I got sick immediately, thereafter, so I was unable to record like normal. So, again, I do offer my apologizes to all of you. And I want to thank you so much for your patience and your patronage.

Today’s featured writer is Ashley Halliwell. Ashley Halliwell is an accomplished artist for not having reached 30, yet. From the age of 11, they were trained professionally as a choral singer. At age 14, they released their first album. They have since released over a dozen more, with another in the works. They have created various visual art pieces, from painting, to digital masterpieces, since they were 3. They have acted since they were 7, engaging in productions of the self-produced variety, as well as local and school related productions. While acting, they also wrote, creating their first poems at age 5, and having written plays, serial fiction, essays, nonfiction blog posts, research articles, songwriting, short fiction, and self published poetry collections in the last two decades. Ashley’s writing has always been one thing: an outlet. From their songs, to their poems, to their self-proclaimed “shit-posting empire,” Ashley has poured their lived experiences into their work. In doing so, they have become relatable; speaking to experiences that have, until now, never had a voice. They are honest, raw, and unapologetically authentic in how they deliver the messages woven through their many adventures. They have since used their platform as a multi-faceted artist to serve as an unwitting advocate for the black sheep, the disowned, the weirdos, the misfits, and the healing traumatized people the world over. Their popularity has also made it possible for them to organize and operate a mutual aid community for individuals with disabilities. Their various social media will be in the description for your viewing pleasure. Originally from the heart of Texas, Ashley came from old money and was homeschooled. But they were raised with an entrepreneurial mindset, where resourcefulness and critical thinking skills were key. The idea of working for what you want was not lost on them. Having traveled all over the world and lived in various places within the US, Ashley learned their worth, becoming larger than life and creating positive change for themselves and others they interacted with. They serve as an example of what life can be when you live in an unapologetic authentic manner, never letting others dictate who you are and what your truth is, and rising from the ashes of trauma new and stronger than before. This phoenix reborn is why I decided to feature Ashley. They prove that in climbing through the depths of the darkness, there is strength in moving forward toward the light of a better future.

Singing Molten Gold To The Morning: Poems is a collection of poetry written by Ashley Halliwell under the pseudonym Perzival D.H.C. Dunn-Blackthorne, the second of two collections written under this nom de guerre. Today’s excerpt is Guernica, parts 1-2 from Singing Molten Gold To The Morning: Poems. Let’s dive in, shall we?

Guernica -

I. 26 april 1937…

I don’t know what i do best

Anymore

Except turn pain into something

Beautiful

But what about the horrors of it

And not the glory?

I want to take what I feel and

Not what I say

Turn it into something 11 feet

Tall and 25 feet wide

But my hands are little

My hands are little and no

Paintbrush is small enough to

Catch

All the detail

I’m tired of walking over

Thresholds of bombed out

Buildings or a half built house

I’m tired of only seeing rubble

I’m a builder, damnit

I’m supposed to build people up

I’m supposed to help

Not have nightmares like

Flashbacks that crush me!

So I dare myself

Now -

Put your own oxygen mask on

Before you

Drop that bomb

And then stay awhile

Before flying away

II. Thresholds are for brides

And I was a bride once

But that was a moment and

I wore a dress as red as blood

People asked why I did that

I know why I did that now

I didn’t know how else to say I was angry

When my mind was taped shut and

I was

Kept in the fog

Damn those pills!

Damn the nightmares!

Damn that house that should have caught fire

With all inside!

I am not the crazy child kept in the attic!

Not anymore

I am the human unchained,

I am the one that walks free!

I have doors now

I have miles in my pockets

I can and will lock you out

And there’s blood on their hands

They kicked a child

They should have loved the child

But when they dropped the bombs

The empty house of my mind caved in.

But the structure is stronger than that

I am stronger than that

And this is me calling it what it is…

You make your own hell,

I say to the bombers

I say to the horrors that I experienced

Some people see battlefields

I have seen a mind turned inside out

I have been trapped in my own body

I have seen my innocence die before me

And I’ve shouted into the hole of loss

And I’m still hearing the infinite echo.

I don’t know which is worse

You make your own hell,

I say to the demons I fight

Your hell is not mine,

Your chains are not mine,

I am not your wall to punch.

I’m not a pewter cup to drink

From and laugh with

Your hell is not mine

Not anymore.

This is me calling it what it is…

Hell.

And I enter it on my own terms.

Not yours,

Not anymore.

In Singing Molten Gold To The Morning: Poems, the piece entitled Guernica is split into seven parts. Each part beautifully plays into the next, but for this examination, we’ll look at the first two. Part one speaks to the painting of the same name by Spanish artist, Pablo Picasso. Guernica is an anti-war oil painting that portrays suffering shaped by violence and chaos. It is a gory display of gray-scale agony that was unlike Picasso’s more vibrant works. This theme rolls over into part two. Part two of Guernica speaks to the hell endured by a former bride through childhood trauma and medical neglect. A hell the bride walks through now, but on their terms, claiming their strength of will and removing themselves from the abuse of those who were supposed to love and nurture them. Something often overlooked by neurotypical and abled individuals is the abuse neurodivergent and disabled individuals endure through no fault of their own. Being emotionally abandoned by a parent when you don’t fit their idyllic vision of what you should be. Facing the violent onslaught of bullying from your peers. Educators ignoring, or worse, berating you for not measuring up to the rest of the class. Society deciding that being neurodivergent and/or disabled is all you are and ever will be, assuming you’ll be nothing more than a burdensome drain on the community and its resources. How it's that much more difficult to find genuine love and kindness compared to our neurotypical and abled counterparts. For today’s prompt, I want you to think about a time you suffered because of your neurodivergence. What happened that caused you to suffer? How did you overcome it? Let this prompt be a structured poem. There are a variety of different structures to poetry. I’m personally very fond of Spenserian sonnets. Rhyme and iambic pentameter make my brain happy. But you can use any poem structure you like best! Haiku, sonnet, limerick, an ode, villanelle, free verse, and more. This one isn’t timed, but I would recommend doing some free writing first to get your thoughts down before jumping into writing a poem. Free writing can allow you to gather your thoughts on any subject, which can assist in finding patterns and how you want to move forward with expressing those thoughts in the form of a poem. And do so however is most comfortable and accessible for you, whether that be writing long hand, typing on a computer or typewriter, typing on your phone, or using a speech-to-text program to dictate your thoughts in a notes app on your device. This prompt will be posted on our various social media for you to reference later, all of which are connected to our Linktree in this episode’s description. Be sure to submit your writing prompt to the podcast email, nd.scribbles.pod@gmail.com, for a chance to have your work featured at the beginning of the next episode!

Today's ending quote: "Our story may have any number of endings but its start is a singular choice we make today." - Dr. Faisal Khosa, Associate Professor in the Department of Radiology at Vancouver General Hospital, University of British Columbia. He is passionate about giving back through coaching and mentoring students and his mentoring has benefited students all over the world.

My name is Abbott Manning Hansen, host of the podcast, Neurodivergent Scribbles. Thanks for listening, and have a creative day, my fellow Scribblers!

[chemnections]

Can I ask you something? I’m not trying to start anything but why is it okay for Frank and Mikey to repost fan art from 3 Cheers era but Lola can’t repost fan art for the record the account was made to promote? The sole purpose for the account was for Hesitant Alien. Yeah it was a decade ago but 3 Cheers is one year short of two decades ago. I understand Lola , Gerard and Lynz isn’t everyone’s cup of tea (I follow none of the three) but it seems hypocritical to not react the same way when Mikey and Frank do it over 3 Cheers or even Electric Century and Pency Prep. Like I said, I’m not trying to start anything, I’m just trying to understand your posts.

that's okay, i understand my posts can seem a little out of no where if you don't have the background context.

first thing is that hesitant alien was born out of the band break up. gerard was the only member signed to their record label of warner brothers for a solo album - he might have cut a deal as mcr was falling apart behind the others backs but either way it was warner brothers keeping gerard and tossing the others aside hoping that gerard solo would be profitable if mcr wasn't going to continue.

the other thing with the album being born from the breakup is that he took the opportunity to write some shady songs, mainly pointed at frank because between them was the highest point of conflict. lyrics to millions and get the gang together are probably the most blatant. drugstore perfume is also very shady. he would announce as 'being about a girl whose never leaving jeresy - this one was apparent to both be aimed at his mother who he was having conflict with and frank's wife, jamia (fans will often look at the fact that jamia unfollowed gerard on twitter during the band breakup but still follows everyone else including bob as a sign of conflict there. but gerard has shaded her in the umbrella academy because if five is frank, the dolores the mannequin represents jamia. it's safe to say that jamia is a stable down to earth person, the comparison is very sexist.)

the other thing with the breakup is that frank came out rough. he was looking rough during danger days, too. frank wrote stomachaches all on his own - i think he might have brought someone in for some of the drum tracks - but ultimately its all him. and it was fucking good and he got signed to a label all on his own. but if you look up his first live performance with the cellebration, he looks scared. despite being in so many bands and have done solo projects. with pency prep he was the front man so that wasn't even new to him. but the conflict at the end of mcr clearly took away a lot of his confidence to the point he was unsure if he could really do what was second nature to him. he has talked in interviews thinking about not returning to music after mcr, he talked about considering being a writer or even a mailman. he really had to rise from the ashes.

gerard did get help on the album, from james dewees, doug mckean and others. his solo live shows are also hard to watch, he seemed so unsure of himself when he doesn't have the mcr members supporting him. (even though getting rid of the band was supposed to fix his problems). he was a hesitant alien indeed.

so with that context in mind - the behaviour of when frank and mikey repost fan art is very different compared to when 'lola' reposts fan art. frank and mikey truly don't repost a lot of art. it is different posting mcr fan art because that is their life work - and when they were all united. they both don't have separate accounts dedicated to promoting their old solo albums. frank often uses his projects to encourage gerard to get back into music. electric century never really got its feet off the ground in the sense they never toured. they would never go on a 88 fan art repost spree to their story in the middle of the night. they both do not encourage fan art with fans' declarations of love and would not repost something like that. they keep healthy boundaries with fans.

lola is not a person. who is running the could is concealed from fans. lola encourages fans to profess their love to it by reposting and liking those kind of fan messages on mass - even though the fans don't know who they are saying that too, just a representative husk. (unless they do but that's a whole other issue).

lola is an account made for the promotion of hesitant alien, but has been converted to gerard's 'spokesperson', which is a strange move as he has a career outside of hesitant alien. what do new umbrella academy fans make of it - it's confusing. especially when gerard does have his own instagram who he could just hire a tech for to update it for him. but that's the thing, it doesn't have the anonymous animosity factor.

also lola is willing to promote ray and mikey. but lola would never promote or even acknowledge frank - until the reunion tour.

lola also comes alive to promote themselves and bask in fan attention at strategic times, like when frank is working on his projects. it is a way to take attention, shade as well as remind of an ugly time by way of a record that was not kind to frank at all.

essentially, the lola account is hostile under a layer of plausible deniability.

right now, this behaviour suggests that it is lindsey behind the account. when lindsey was on her public account she was notorious for shady tweets and bread crumbing. i'm not sure how much you know about lindsey, but she is dangerous to fans and the people around her she has a problem with. as much as i wish not to talk about her, i believe it's important to warn other fans to steer clear away from her. and try to deter some of the underhanded manipulation by calling it out.

[changelingsandothernonsense]

Wip but it's my Thursday

Tagged by @saltymaplesyrup tagging @mareenavee ( I know you're getting space but I said I was still tagging) @thequeenofthewinter @archangelsunited @snippetsrus @gilgamish @tallmatcha @kookaburra1701 @thana-topsy @orfeolookback @caliblorn Low effort 0 expectation, I know there's a lot of chaos running around but feel free to join in if you like. I have been procrastinating on study because I'm changing my major so I am out of steam on that. So I have um...too many wips in both the art section and the writing section. We have been doing SAD WARS and that means a lot of art and a lot of writing. Like I think I wrote 30K in a month XD ART First I have the Erra render that I've been working on. He's coming along.

Some Josh about to fuck up some Reavers. IDK I kinda just wanted to draw the Dwarven toe prosthesis which will be more visible if I ever line this lol. under the cut for the rest!

Pic of Yani too idk. Okay, Writing!

Going to post 3 snips because I've been jumping around wips. First is a section from Mortal Chill

Corprus? But…how? I stood and moved to try to pull the covers off of him, I don’t know what I was really trying to do here. I could not remove them myself. I- I guess I wanted those bandages removed so that I could see for myself. The tumours, the growths that twisted and deformed the body. The broken bones the-

Maera he was so thin, was it the wasting kind? All I could remember were stories of mad creatures that would come screaming out of the southern ash wastes at night. That they had a madness, that they ate the cursed flesh of their brethren. The Urshilaku would warn us every few years of another outbreak of blight. That it had started breaching the Ghostfence.  My tribe did not much care for such things. The lore of our ancestors meant little amongst the Erabenimsun. Our Ashkhans were absolute rulers, our focus war and glory. The news of blight usually fell on deaf ears. Our Wise Woman’s warnings would often go unheeded. It was why my father had made that attempt on old Ulath-Pal’s life after all. Some sort of pact between my kin, the Ensirhaddon who bore most of the tribe’s farseers and mages and the Urshilaku and the Ilaba'andul-Sul family, who were the ruling clan of the northern wastes. It failed, and my kin were systematically executed one by one. I had fled the night my twin sister had her throat cut in her sleep. I was fifteen and utterly alone.

I had run into someone afflicted with blight somewhere around Piran. The wasting the growths. She was practically mad as she lashed out at me. I still have no idea how I had gotten away in the end. Maybe it is because I am forgetting so many things but I know that creature haunts me, Kiang.

Is this really to be my son’s fate?

You shuddered, turning to stroke our son’s cheek. Forty-six years since he was twelve. I guess I was trying to do the sum in my head, had never been good at that, resorting to counting the individual sections of my fingers instead. Three, six, twelve-

“Fifty-eight, Yani. He turned fifty-eight yesterday-I,” you let out a breath, shuddering once again, “I tried to summon you yesterday but- I don’t know why it didn’t work or-“

I couldn’t believe it, the last time I had heard your call and walked through the flames he was still a child, barely twenty-two! You reached for me, your hands on either side of my ruined face. Torn and beaten from the rubble that had entombed me. My ear missing, torn at some point. My face ripped from the razor edge of debris that I had not seen. My throat slashed to such a point that the grizzled meat was visible. It is why I cannot speak.

I was only thirty-one when I had died, barely grown myself. Maera I’ve missed so much.

The second is from Ahzidal's Descent

“Greave,” she held out her hand again, “Teldryn I need it to keep the splint in place.”

He grumbled a little as he reached out behind him, handing her the light, chitinous plate. The surface was a marbled green and beige that dully reflected the sunlight. It had something carved into its underside. Something in what looked like Dunmeris but she honestly couldn’t tell. Sydari untangled the netch leather straps and placed the chitin on top of his shin.

“Tel, I’m going to have to lift this again,” she said as she lightly prodded his shin.

“Do I have to wear it?” He groaned, scratching the back of his head, “I’m pretty sure that’s what irritated it in the first place. Thing was fine this morning.” He shrugged.

Sydari exhaled slowly. Of course, he’d blame the only thing that was supporting his leg! It couldn’t possibly be the fact that he chose to scale this dune! She lifted his leg and started securing the chitin greave to his shin, maybe a little too roughly.

“N'chow! Now I know you did that on purpose!” Teldryn protested, he began to fiddle with the leather strap of his goggles.

“You don’t think that maybe you aggravated your leg by climbing up a cliff?” Sydari pinched the bridge of her nose, “You didn’t even bother to properly brace it!”

“It was fine this morning when I took it off,” Teldryn hunched over his left knee and exhaled sharply, “Thing interferes with my prosthesis, I told you. Plus, I really felt fine this morning, Sydari.”

“You’re not supposed to be taking it off yet Teldryn,” Sydari began to search her pack again, pulling out another small vial, this one filled with a red viscous liquid that leaned violet in the sunlight. Tinged by the minuscule edition of Sleeping Tree Sap. It would dull the pain but make his comedown from the stamina tonic a lot harsher.

“What’s that?” Teldryn asked.

Sydari shook the bottle a little, “It dulls pain.”

Teldryn tilted his head, “Didn’t I just take one of those?”

Sydari shook her head, “No, this one is a bit different, stronger,” she handed him the glass vial, “Just don’t drink all of it, it contains a sedative.”

Teldryn raised an eyebrow, “What kind of sedative?”

Sydari sighed, “It’s a type of sap from this tree in Whiterun Hold, it’s um…”

Teldryn chortled, “Say no more hla’Miluth, say no more,” he raised the small bottle to his lips and took a small sip, “tastes like shit though,” he smiled and handed the mostly full vial back to her.

“You think everything does,” Sydari replied as she replaced the stopped and returned the vial to her pack.

She stood up and offered Teldryn her hand, “Come on, let's get you back to the Netch.”

“Aww come on Miluth!” Teldryn frowned, “It’s just over this ridge, we’re so close. Why go back now?”

Sydari pulled her pack over her shoulder and offered him her hand again, “Because you’re not making it up that hill, not in your wildest dreams.”

And finally a bit from Kagrumez Gauntlet

I took a few steps back, dagger still readied…just in case. The specter reached out.

“It is okay, Dumu, I mean you no harm,” there was an echo to his voice as well, as if he was both far away and far too close. I wonder if that is why he never spoke last time.

“Wha-“I stammered, I had no idea what any of this was.

He held up a hand and shook his head, “Does your Ata know you have that?”

I slowly lowered your dagger, putting it away. I shook my head at the ghost.

He sighed, “Nervyna, these places are death traps for the best of us. You cannot be messing around in here.”

I pouted, “Ata said he’d take me down here to help with his research. We were supposed to be here together but he ditched me with my cousins and came here himself,” I folded my arms, “It’s not fair!”

The ghost shook his head, his hair almost floating around him, “Oh Dumu, I am sure he had good reason. It is a new place, yes?”

I nodded, “That’s why we were going to come down here together,” I told the ghost, “then all of a sudden he decides ‘No! It’s time to go visit your cousins!’” I mimicked your gruff tone as best as I could. It made the ghost laugh.

“Ah, I think I know what is wrong, Nervyna,” the ghost smiled, “Your Ata found that down here, I do not think he wants one of these ambushing the two of you.”

I looked back at the metal mer that lay battered and broken, melted to the floor. Did he see this thing and run? I sighed, “So he saw this thing and ran away? It’s dead. Creepy but it’s dead.”

The ghost approached the broken hunk of metal and knelt over it, “Nervyna, your Ata does not run from these things. This is his doing.”

I walked over to where the ghost was kneeling, standing on the opposite side of the twisted metal mer, “how would you know that? I don’t even know who you are?”

The ghost furrowed his brow or tried to, the long scar that cut across his face seemed to make it hard, even in this form, “Nervyna, I have known your Ata for a very long time. More than he would probably care to admit. I know how he attacks these things. I have seen him do it many times. Dumu I know your Ata took down this metal mer because I do not know anyone else who can melt this kind of metal.”

I stared at the thing’s melted surface. It reminded me a little too much of how an ice mer melts during the early spring thaw. Like the ones that you would build with me whenever snow fell on the mountains to the north of the island. You hated the cold but you would take me up there every year so that we could make one. This wasn’t making any sense.

“I haven't seen Ata so much as take down a slaughterfish let alone whatever this thing is,” I stood and stomped back towards the stairs that lead further into the ruin.

“Nervyna! Wait!” the ghost called back as I descended the stairs. I replenished the light I had summoned with some of my magicka, just like you showed me. ‘Imagine you can make the light stronger with just one touch,’ I had finally started getting the hang of doing that.

The ghost reformed in front of me as I entered a colossal chamber. The whole place buzzing and whirring with that magical steam you always talked about. He frowned at me, bow gripped tightly in his ethereal fist. 

“Please do not run off like that. I can not protect you if you move too far away from me,” he cautioned, though his tone was even and calm, I could tell there was a slight hint of annoyance there.

“I never asked for your protection, ghost. I don’t even know who you are,” I grit my teeth, I never summoned any ancestor ghost. I don’t even know that spell yet!

The ghost blinked at me before sighing, “That is my fault, I forget that you do know what I look like. I am Erra, I was-“

“You’re Aya’s uncle!” I interrupted, I had heard of him before. I had heard of him a lot, in fact. You had called him by the same words that you used for Alma.

For a brief moment, I thought I saw the ghost frown. He smiled again and nodded, “Yes, that is it.”