#“What’d you do to Batman?!?”

[starry-songs-canvas]

Danny’s Wild Ride

Another week, another prompt.

Batman was out investigating a new weapon energy source while the rest of the Batfam was fighting those smuggling said weapons into Gotham. He took the Batmobile, which hadn’t been moving for the last few hours, and is now racing around the surrounding mountains, like a bat out of hell.

So they call the Batmobile. And instead of Batman, they see an bat-doption bait driving the Batmobile. With explosions going off in the background. And Batman with a bleeding head slumped in the passenger seat.

[wonderjanga]

Cults Galore

Cults. If the JL had a nickel for every cult dedicated to Marvel they’ve found, they’d have two nickels. Don’t get them wrong, it’s not a lot, but it’s still concerning.

Aquaman, Green Lantern, and Marvel were sent to an alien planet. They needed to establish peaceful contact with the people there. That was the goal. So why? Why in the Gods’ names are the people here all tatted up with lightning bolts suspiciously similar to Marvel’s. Why are they calling Marvel Thavma? And most importantly, why are the three being lead to some type of shrine?

Hal: “Hey uh… I’m sorry to ask, but what does this shrine you told us about have to do with the treaty you need to sign?”

Alien Leader: “They are sacred grounds.”

Hal: “Okay…?”

Alien Leader: *continued to lead them until they came upon a bunch of people petrified into stone. The people were placed in a circle, in the middle was a grand shrine*

Aquaman: “What’s with all the statues?”

Alien Leader: “Statues- ah yes. The statues.” *looks to Marvel* “We’ve all kept them preserved just for you. Just in case that of off chance you decided to grace us with your presence again. And would you look at that? It paid off.”

Marvel: *awkwardly smiles at the Alien leader*

Alien Leader: *looks back ahead*

Marvel: *elbows Aquaman and starts speak in Atlantean* “This guy’s creepy.”

Aquaman: *responds in Atlantean* “I know.”

Hal: “What’d you guys say?”

Marvel: *switches back to English* “We’ll tell you when we get back to the ship.”

*awkward silence of following the Alien Leader*

Aquaman: “So… The statues. You make em or something?”

Alien Leader: “No no no. They’re all soldiers of the people who used to oppress our kind. They were petrified by our very lord themself during the uprising.” *looks over to Marvel* “Do tell me you remember?”

Marvel: *searches though memories and finds out a previous champion had done all of this* “I do.” *looks literally anywhere but Hal and Arthur*

Hal and Aquaman: *immediately share a look*

Later…

Marvel, Hal, and Arthur: *all at a burger joint eating in civvies*

Arthur: “I don’t get it. How do you just fail to mention that you petrified an entire army?”

Marvel: *shrugs* “I kinda forgot.”

Hal: “How do you just forget that? Also, you guys never told me about what you guys were saying. Are you guys gonna spill the beans now or what?”

Marvel: “What are you talking about?”

Hal: “When you elbowed Arthur?”

Marvel: “Ohhhh that.”

Arthur: “We were just talking about how the guy was creepy.”

Hal: *nods head* “True dat. True dat.”

Then there was the second cult. This one’s human though, don’t worry. This cult was found by Marvel, Batman and Robin.

Marvel: “I thought you just said this was just a cult. Not a cult for me.” *looking around at the various tapestries with his lightning bolt symbol*

Robin!Damian: “What makes you think it’s for you?”

Marvel: *gestures to the lightning bolt on his chest, then to the other lightning bolts on the decor of the place*

Batman: “They were worshiping someone named Keraunos.”

Robin!Damian: “And unless your name is Keraunos, it’s not for you.”

Marvel: “I’ll have you know it’s actually one of my names.” *walks until he stops in front of a fountain*

Robin: “You can’t be serious. Why would they worship you of all people? There’s hardly anything of value to worship in the first place.” *follows after him and stops near the fountain too*

Marvel: “Should I be offended by that?” *looks down at the water* “Geez, were they drinking electricity charged water? Normal humans cannot do that.”

Batman: *also walks over and kneels down slightly to read a plaque* “This plaque says the water was blessed by you.”

Marvel: “Uuuhhhh… No it isn’t.” *sticks a finger into the water* “This is just normal electricity.”

Robin: *tries to stick his own finger in*

Batman: *swats Damian’s hand away* “Regardless, what’s causing the electricity?”

Marvel: *puts some of his own lightning into the water*

Batman, Robin, Marvel: *hear something short fuse and look to see something off to the side smoking*

Marvel: “Probably that.”

[not-my-final-account]

I’VE FALLEN DOWN THE RABIT HOLE OF DANNY PHANTOM AND NOW I CAN’T ESCAPE

Once the Justice League was losing. It was the end of the world. No seriously, the world was an hour away from being blown to bits.

-

Constantine sighed and rubbed his face, he had just ran out of cigarettes and it was making him more jumpy than was truely necessary in any given situation. Him and most of the bigger heros in the Justice League sat in a cave and were forced to wait out the apocalypse, well, the hour left of it anyways.

Constantine sighed and looked up to what you could see of the sky from inside their cave, he was almost… afraid. Afraid of what was going to happen, afraid that it had come to this, afraid that the rumours were true or even worse than they seemed, Pariah Dark was not known for caring nor his mercy.

Honestly Constantine was going to consider it lucky if he died and got to rest in peace, even more lucky if the world actually got saved! This was a last ditch effort.

Constantine grabbed a piece of chalk from his pocket, it was worn from years of carrying it around. He settled it on the flattest piece of stone he could find and started drawing the circle he had memorised. “John what are you doing?” Wonder Woman asked, he ignored her and took a deep breathe

“Oh dark king of the ghosts.” he prayed, there were truely only a few necessary words but Constantine felt like he needed to add a message, so he kept speaking as he drew the intricate patterns of the circle “My world may be of no importance to you, but I am willing to make a deal to save it. Please accept my summon, please be merciful, please save earth, please K I N G O F T H E G H O S T S.” Constantine begged, Wonder Woman and most of the others sat up or got more defensive, it truely said something that Batman didn’t bother.

-

Danny Phantom sat playing DOOM with Sam and Tucker, cheering when we got to a higher level. Suddenly something tugged at his core and a voice whispered through his ears

…oh dark king of the ghosts. My world may be of no importance to you, but I am willing to make a deal to save it. Please accept my summon, please be merciful, please save earth, please…

“-anny? Danny?” Sam asked “Hello?” she said in a sing song voice

“Still with us Danny?” Tucker asked, Danny swallowed,

“I- I’ve got to go.” he said

-

Constantine sat on his knees in front of the circle and… nothing happened, Superman glanced at him and started to sit back down when suddenly the stone inside the circle fell away into a green spiral.

Superman gasped and jumped back up

“Don’t attack him, bow.” Constantine instructed, reluctantly Superman and everyone else did, except for Batman of course, what’d you expect? Him to change? Just because the world was ending?

A pale hand reached up from the circle and grabbed the edge; whoever was in the circle pulled themself up slowly and as they came closer to the mortal realm Superman got a sense of dread, of death, of… something else, of authority, and everyone in the room seemed to find themselves bowing lower. Superman couldn’t help but think, had Constantine double-doomed the world?

-

Constantine looked up as the figure hovered above the circle, he was the first to move from his bow. This… wasn’t what Constantine expected Pariah Dark to look like, he was still imposing but didn’t fit the ghost kings reputation.

He had a cape as dark as the shadows with glowing constellations and stories sown into the fabric. He had a crown that burned with green fire and floated above his head, his eyes glowed the same green as the crown and his hand had a single ring. He wore royal looking clothes, white boots and gloves with a black shirt and pants.

This was the ghost king “Pariah Dark, King of Ghosts. I am Constantine-”

“Pariah Dark? I dethroned him years ago! I’m Danny Phantom.” the ghost king introduced.

“I meant no disrespect your highness.” Constantine quickly said

“I don’t- never mind. You asked for me to save earth?” King Phantom asked, Constantine gulped

“Y-yes, we can’t win, please, I- I’ll do anything.” he begged,

“A favour.” King Phantom said

“What?” Constantine asked

“A favour, I’ll save your world for a favour from you and your friends.” King Phantom said.

A favour to a ghost king who was probably very evil, that is so stupid and such a horrible idea, who in their right mind would-

“Deal.” Constantine agreed.

There was a flash of bright light and King Phantom disappeared, after a few seconds of him being gone the sounds of a battle echoed through the cave.

“Constantine what did you just rope us into?” Batman asked. Constantine really, really needed a cigarette.

-

Years ago, the world was ending. In a last ditch effort Constantine summoned… something. Superman didn’t know much about the ghost king that had appeared, just that he was powerful, and that the better half of the Justice League owed him a favour. It had been on everyone’s minds for a few months after that deal, waiting for the day they would be called for something horrific and hoping it wouldn’t ruin them or their morals. But truthfully, after a few years everyone sorta forgot about it; it was the type of thing no one remembered unless the subject at hand related to it, and even then you were uneasy for a day and forgot all over again.

So when a scroll appeared in a flash of green light during a meeting one day, Superman would like to say that the freaking out was justified.

Batman (who seemed to adopt everyone he met in one way or another) shushed the group of panicking superhero’s and picked up the scroll “I am calling in your favour, when you finish reading this you will all be teleported to my aid. Signed, Phantom.” Batman read. Oh no.

In another flash of green light they appeared in a park with a few heros who hadn’t even been in the room. Everyone immediately put up their defences and raised various weapons, then they realised the park was empty. Superman looked around using X-ray vision, he had no clue what was going on in the seemingly peaceful that could make a ghost king ask for help, then he looked through a hill and saw a giant green dog running with two kids gripping it’s lead.

As the dog jumped on top of then off the hill and ran in front of them Superman could make out the words in their screams

“Sit boy, sit!” the Batman looking one called

“I’M TOO YOUNG TO DIE! NO OFFENCE DANNNYYYY!!!” the one with devices falling out of his bag and pockets yelled.

Everyone lowered their weapons and Flash relaxed and scoffed

“This is what that ghost guy called us in for? This is going to be a breeze!” Flash said happily

“Don’t judge a book by its cover Flash.” Constantine warned. Superman was about to agree with flash when the ghost king suddenly appeared in the air in front of us, dripping in something green which looked alarmingly like blood- oh god the ghost king was dying!? Re-dying?!

“Forget I said anything,” Flash raised his hands in the air and got ignored as we rushed over to the ghost king who had fallen out of the air and onto the ground.

Before anyone could do anything though another person appeared out of thin air and then floated down

“Join me Daniel! Together we could rule the world!” he asked, okay that was an evil guy if Superman had ever seen one, he even had the looks to go with it, you could mistake him as Dracula … was that Dracula?

Suddenly another guy who looked like the ghost king body slammed Dracula from the air

“I WILL RULE THE WORLD AND ME ALONE!” as he stood up Superman noticed he looked just like the ghost king only older and more evil looking. As if the mention of look-a-likes summoned her, a small girl who also looked just like the ghost king only younger and female body slammed evil twin number 1.

“Not on my watch you fruitloop!” she yelled. Suddenly a woman in a track suit with ridiculous looking googles and carrying an oversized gun jumped down

“Get away you evil ghosts!” she yelled and fired some energy weapon at the small group, they all scattered and the four of them fought when some girl on a hover board swooped in and pointed her hand at the ghost king

“Danny Phantom! You and all of ghost kind will pay!!” she yelled, something on her wrist started glowing when

“GET AWAY FROM DANNY!” a school girl yelled. Her orange hair swung around as she discus threw her books and bag right into the girls face. They also ran off into the distance to fight.

“What?” Flash asked,

“When he said.” Green Lantern agreed.

“The Dracula looking one is Vlad, he’s a bad guy, so is my evil self from an alternate timeline, we call him Dan, Dani is the small girl who looks like me, that’s because she’s my clone, she’s on the good side but she might steal your stuff just because she can so be careful,” he took a wheezy breath “My sister Jazz is the one who hurled her books into the air to protect me, she’s good. The girl in the red suit is Red Huntress, she’s good she just doesn’t understand -same with my parents, the couple in the jumpsuits, their ghost hunters.” the ghost king explained

“Wait, your parents are ghost hunters?” Flash asked

“Yeah?” the ghost king asked- oh I see.

“But you’re a ghost?” Flash said

“I’m technically a halfa actually, but trust me I know. It’s all ‘we’re going to tear apart the ghost boy molecule by molecule’ and never ‘is the ghost boy good or bad’.” the ghost king groaned, I reached out to help “I’ll be fine go fight or help!” he said

[eggplantwaffles]

Since Steph and Kara became friends during Steph’s Batgirl run and post all her critical character development and casually horrifying pre Batgirl life, I imagine Steph accidentally lore dumps crazy shit in conversation:

———

Kara: Holy shit, are you okay?!

Steph (holding her certainty broken arm): Eh- hurts less than giving birth.

Kara: I guess?

Steph: Although, I think my baby had an unusually large head.

Kara: Oh… wait, what?!

———

Steph: You can stay with me few days, just don’t use my shampoo.

Kara: That’s the only rule?

Steph: Yeah, I had to start hiding it when my Dad let Ed Nygma and his goons stay over.

Kara: …The Riddler stole your shampoo?

———

Kara: You have to have hobbies outside of crime fighting.

Steph: I liked gymnastics in high school.

Kara: Okay, that’s something!

Steph: I quit cause I found out my coach was dealing drugs to kids.

Kara: Oh.

Steph: I also played piano as a kid but I quit that too cause after my parents left me with a pervy babysitter for days I didn’t trust any adult men for a while, including my piano teacher.

———

Steph: You’re really nice to me.

Kara: Well, yeah? We’re friends!

Steph: You haven’t even told me to go away once!

Kara: Why would I want you to go away?

Steph: Normally it’s cause Batman thinks I’m no good- but I guess that wouldn’t matter to you?

———

Kara: Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you’d never met Batman?

Steph: I’d be in prison, probably.

Kara: For what?

Steph: I was gonna murder my Dad… actually I think I would have gotten away with it so maybe not prison?

Kara: …Forget I asked.

———

Steph: Ugh! I’m going to kill Bruce!

Kara: What’d he do now?

Steph: He paid off my student loans without telling me!

Kara: That’s… terrible?

Steph: I don’t want his stupid pity presents. He does this every year!

Kara: Pity present?

Steph: Yeah, it’s his yearly “sorry you got murdered” gift. Last year I magically qualified for a WE scholarship I didn’t apply for.

Kara: …I might regret mentioning it but did you say murdered?

Steph: Huh? Oh, yeah, brutally- that’s why I don’t like walking past construction sites. Hold on, I need to call Bruce and yell at him.

[suzukiblu]

WIP excerpt for miri-tiazan behind the cut; “the one where omegaverse fucks up Red Hood’s life”. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

“Jay,” Dick mumbles back belatedly, sounding all dizzy and punch-drunk and like he’s actually–like he’s really–

Dick smells like sympathy rut, Jason’s stupid enough to think. Dick smells like he actually wants to–to–like he actually wants him. 

He doesn’t. He can’t. And Dick wouldn’t–he wouldn’t rut over Jason’s heat, even if he did. Wouldn’t . . . 

Dick had–he’d asked him if he wanted it. And Jason had said–had said– 

And then Dick had started to smell like . . . 

Jason’s stupid and in heat and his stupid fucking omega actually thinks its alpha wants them, and his fingers dig into Dick’s ribs and his thighs shudder and he thinks his fucking hole even shudders, kind of, and he’s never felt like this before. Never felt like this in his life. The ghost of it, the seed of it, some vague watered-down illusion, but not . . . not this.

“Dick. M’–I need���” Jason chokes, and his omega is, again, an absolute bitch. 

Or at least, it really, really wants to be. 

“Need?” Dick mumbles in that same punch-drunk voice as he buries his face in the crook of Jason’s neck just above his scent gland and breathes in his pheromones like he wants–like he likes–“What’d you need, baby? Little wing. We’ll get it for you. I’ll get it for you.” 

“M’empty,” Jason whines as he tries to tilt his hips in against Dick’s, because he’s apparently just as much of a bitch as his omega is. 

At least for Dick Grayson he is, anyway. 

“‘Empty’,” Dick echoes, ragged and breathless and like he really is rutting, like Jason’s not stupid and delusional, like–“Empty like–” 

“Put it in me,” Jason chokes, gripping Dick’s back tight, and doesn’t specify if he means Dick should put his knot in him or his pup in him. 

It’s fucking obvious what he means, he thinks. 

He knows it’s obvious. 

Dick should have better self-control than this. Shouldn’t sympathy rut like this at all without at least Ivy being involved, because Dick’s had enough ruts and spent enough time as a Bat to just–to be able to–

Jason’s never been in heat a single time in his fucking life, but he should have better self-control than this too. He should, but–but–

But it’s Dick, so he can’t even try to. 

He wants to pretend it’s the same for Dick, that the bastard’s feeling anything like he’s feeling–like he’s felt–but knows it’s not. Doesn’t–doesn’t know what it is, but–but–probably Dick’s trying to distract him, keep him from bolting, keep him here ‘til–’til Batman gets here, and–and then just–and then–

It doesn’t feel like that’s what Dick’s doing, though. 

Not to his stupid bitch of an omega, anyway, and not even really to his stupid bitch of himself. Not . . .

[fluentmoviequoter]

Black Mercy

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x fem!JL!reader (Justice League Unlimited!Bruce)

Summary: When you and Bruce find Superman in the Fortress of Solitude, you encounter the Black Mercy. Bruce faces his heart's greatest desire, and you encourage him to find happiness.

Warnings: spoilers/rewrite for Justice League Unlimited 1x2 "For the Man Who Has Everything", fluff, canon-level violence and action

Word Count: 2.3k+ words

A/N: I'll say it again... this show is elite. I'll never shut up about the characterizations of Batman, Superman, and the Flash! But, also, his bat ears.

Picture from Pinterest

Masterlist | DC Masterlist | Request Info

“J’onn, when did Superman check in last?” you inquire.

J’onn clicks the trackpad before him. The Watchtower has the most advanced technology of any place you’ve ever seen, yet J’onn has to navigate to the most recent communication reports to learn when he last heard Clark’s voice.

“Several hours,” J’onn answers with a frown. “He traveled to his Fortress of Solitude to investigate a disturbance but hasn’t reported since he arrived.”

“I’ll try to contact him,” you tell J’onn.

Bruce thought of everything when he designed and funded the Watchtower, and you navigate to your favorite private area. You occasionally wonder if he created such spots for people like you, the unpowered or easily overwhelmed. The Watchtower is big enough that you could go an entire day without seeing another member of the League; now, you crave that privacy to check on your friend.

“Superman, come in,” you say into your small radio. “Hello? … Clark?”

The only response you get is a distant static. You bounce the radio between your hands and frown. Clark can handle himself, of course, but he’s also good about staying in touch. The hidden door beside you creaks open slowly before Bruce steps inside.

“I thought you may be here,” he murmurs. When he turns to face you, he asks, “What’s wrong?”

“Clark isn’t checking in. J’onn hasn’t heard from him in hours, and I can’t reach him on comms,” you answer.

“Where is he?”

“Fortress of Solitude.”

“Then let’s go.”

You smile and take Bruce’s hand as he helps you to stand. He leads you through the empty hallways of the Watchtower, and you hope that when you get to Superman's hideout, it's just radio interference and nothing more. He steps onto the launch bay and presses a button on his utility belt to open the canopy of the batplane.

“Can I fly?” you ask.

“No,” Bruce answers.

He flies in relative silence, and it isn’t until he steers the plane into the freezing water surrounding the Fortress of Solitude that you decide to speak.

“That was a nice turn,” you compliment. “You usually scare me when you fly.”

“Sorry,” Bruce replies shortly.

He levels the plane onto an ice bank and opens the canopy. When he sees a small box in your hand, he furrows his brows under the cowl. You lead the way through the icy cave and look around for any sign of Clark.

“Is that for his birthday?” Bruce asks.

“What’d you get him?” you reply.

“He’s not the easiest person in the world to buy presents for.” Bruce lifts an envelope from his belt as he speaks.

“Please tell me that’s not a gift card.”

“It’s not… It's cash.”

You nod, and follow Bruce up the stairs into the heart of Superman’s fortress.

“What do you get for the man who has everything?” Bruce adds before freezing.

You drop the gift box when you see Clark. Bruce’s arm stretches past you protectively as you look from a distance. Clark stands motionless with a large plant attached to his chest and wrapped around his shoulders and back.

“What is that?” you ask Bruce.

He walks down the steps to get a closer look, and you follow closely behind him.

“Looks like some kind of plant,” Bruce says. “Seems to be growing through his costume and into his body.”

You step to Bruce’s side and look at Clark’s chest. He’s breathing, barely, but that’s enough of a promise that he can be saved from whatever this is. Clearly, someone was in the fortress, and Clark probably interrupted them. You will know where to start if you learn what he was investigating.

“Look around,” Bruce requests. “I’ll see what I can find here.”

You leave his side as he shines a light in Clark’s eyes. Bruce is well-versed in Kryptonian anatomy, so you trust him to decide what’s best for Clark.

“Pupils aren’t responding in the slightest. He must be cut off from all sensation,” Bruce deduces.

“How do we save someone who doesn’t know we’re trying?” you inquire.

Bruce doesn’t answer you but murmurs, “Kent, where are you?”

“So, it was a gift. Teleported here from some alien culture, some grateful world. Or someone wanting you to think they were grateful,” Bruce says to Clark.

“How remarkable,” someone calls. Bruce stands quickly and sees Mongul as he finishes, “You animals really are almost intelligent, aren’t you? That’s exactly what happened.”

Mongul steps out of the shadows, and Bruce sees you unconscious in his hand. His jaw clenches, but he remains calm and focused. He can’t save you or Clark if he loses a fight with Mongul.

“Mongul,” Bruce greets.

“You recognize me. I’m flattered. I suppose Superman told you all about our previous encounter.”

“You mean how he humiliated you?” Bruce taunts.

“A… jaundiced account. What inferior specimens he surrounds himself with.” Mongul raises you cruelly and says, “I took her down before she even knew I was there, and I’ll take this planet just as easily.”

You gesture with your hand to show Bruce you’re about to move and then swing your legs up. When they meet Mongul’s jaw, he tips back, and you fall to the cold floor.

“Maybe she knew more than you thought,” you say. “We inferior specimens call it ‘playing possum.’”

You prepare to fight Mongul despite the unfairness of the fight. Before you can punch or be punched, however, Bruce jumps between you and Mongul.

“No,” he demands.

“Clearly the males on this world are the smart one,” Mongul muses. “He wants to know about the plant. The Black Mercy is a telepathic species. It reads the heart’s desires and feeds the individual a totally convincing simulation of it.”

“So, he’s dreaming?” Bruce clarifies.

“Oh, far deeper than any dream. I wonder where he thinks he is… Sitting on a throne ruling the universe, all you human garbage fawning at his feet? More honest, don’t you think than this pretense of being a selfless hero?”

“Bruce, we can’t take him,” you whisper as Mongul looks at Clark. “What are we supposed to do?”

“We can’t take him,” Bruce agrees. “But we can take a plant.”

“Need a distraction?”

“Be careful.”

You run toward Mongul and force him backward, away from Clark. He knocks you to the floor with ease, but where you lack size and power, you have mobility and agility. You maneuver away from him and run through an opening in the wall. As you hoped, he follows you.

Meanwhile, Bruce attempts to cut through the plant but fails.

“He’ll kill her, Clark,” Bruce tells Clark. “And then he’ll kill us all. Shake it off. Come back to us… Please.”

Bruce told you to be careful, but you’re doing anything you can to keep Mongul away from him. You fire a Kryptonian weapon at him, but you and Bruce face similar luck as nothing works to help you. You’re trapped in a losing fight, and Bruce can’t get Clark back. You see another line of weapons and run into an adjoining room. Mongul follows you, and he’s loud enough that Bruce can locate you without seeing you.

“She’s in the hall of weapons. That will buy her time, but not enough.” He grips Clark’s shoulders and adds, “She’s fighting for her life, Clark. You’ve got to fight too, Clark.”

The weapon goes cold, and you drop it before you realize how close you are to Mongul. Mogul wraps a hand around your shoulders and squeezes your neck before pushing you onto the floor.

“First, I’ll kill you and the Bat and then I’ll take this planet,” he says.

“You won’t win,” you force out.

“Of course I will.”

Mongul lifts you from the ground before dropping you again, and you can only hope that Bruce is close to saving Clark. Once he’s back, you can be sure Mongul won’t win.

“Yes, that’s it,” Bruce says as he pulls the Black Mercy from Clark’s chest. “Fight it. Fight it.”

Bruce finally succeeds and removes the plant from Clark, but his victory is short-lived before it attaches to him instead.

“Batman!” you yell as Mongul throws you across the hall of weapons.

You struggle to push yourself to your feet, but a blue and red blur knocks Mongul off his feet before you can. While Clark pays Mongul back for everything he lost, you stumble through a hole in the wall to find Bruce. It’s unimaginable - to lose your heart’s desire, but when you see Bruce smiling with the Black Mercy on his chest, you find the strength to keep moving.

“Bruce,” you call, but it’s no more than a whimper.

You kneel before him and grip the sides of the plant. Pulling is pointless, but you need him back. Clark can undoubtedly handle Mongul alone, but Bruce needs your help now.

“Bruce, fight for me. Come back to me,” you plead.

“Bruce, I think it’s your turn.”

Bruce shakes his head and continues kissing you. The kids are making noise in the formal living room, but he ignores it. Not even the unmistakable sound of something breaking can draw Bruce away from you.

“Brucie,” you try again.

Talking against his lips doesn't work because his kisses are addictive. You finally raise your hands and push yourself away from Bruce. He smiles, and you know your happiness is evident on your face, too.

“Your kids are destroying the manor,” you remind him. 

“We can fix it. And they’re our kids.”

“I’m happy,” you tell him.

“I am too.”

Bruce brushes your hair back and watches your smile fall.

“But it’s not real,” you whisper.

“It can be,” Bruce promises.

He leans toward you, and you kiss his forehead before answering, “Then wake up and make it real.”

Bruce wakes and is harshly reminded of where he is as he falls backward. The Black Mercy is wrapping around your outstretched arms, and you grunt with effort as you force it away from your chest. Clark is still fighting Mongul, and each reference to his heart’s desire revives his fight and energy.

“Bruce,” you call.

Bruce pushes your arms away from your face, and you roll toward a hole in the floor. Mongul is directly beneath you, and the Black Mercy falls away from you before landing on him. Clark sits back in relief as Mongul disappears into his heart’s desire.

“Are you okay?” Bruce asks.

You assure him that it's nothing more than bumps and bruises, and Bruce pulls a grappling hook from his belt. You wrap your arms around Bruce and cling to him as he lowers to Clark’s side.

“This was your birthday present,” you tell Clark as you pass him the battered box. “Probably broken now, but…”

“Don’t worry about it,” Clark says with a smile. He looks up at the Kryptonian statues above you and promises, “I won’t forget you.”

 “I wonder what he’s seeing,” you say, pointing toward Mongul. “Something better than he deserves, I’m sure.”

“You’re the only one who didn’t get a glimpse at your heart’s desire,” Clark points out. “Maybe I should get you a gift on the way back.”

You smile and pat his shoulder. “I’m sorry for whatever it is you lost. But I’m glad you get to spend your birthday here.”

“I appreciate it. And who knows, maybe I’ll get my desire someday.”

“I hope so.”

“Happy birthday,” Bruce says as he passes the envelope to Clark.

“Thanks, Bruce,” Clark replies. “What do you say we got back to the Watchtower and let the Fortress rest for a while?”

You and Bruce agree, but Bruce waits beside you as Clark walks toward the hidden entrance. He’ll meet you back in space, but now you’re more interested in Bruce’s attention on you.

“I’m sorry,” you offer.

“I thought it would be about my parents. When Mongul explained it, I just assumed,” Bruce says.

“I think mine would have been a normal life. No need for superheroes or watchtowers… just domesticity and happiness with someone who I love and who loves me.”

“You were there,” Bruce says quickly.

“Oh,” you say, unsure of any other, more appropriate response. "Was it… you don’t have to tell me.”

“It felt so real, even though I knew it wasn’t. Is it wrong that I wanted it to be?”

“Of course not.”

“Clark can’t get what he wanted, not if he was back on Krypton, but I could get mine with a single question. What makes me more worthy; after everything I’ve done?”

“Bruce,” you say, drawing his attention when you lay a hand on his chest. “It’s not about that. If your desire is more achievable in this life, that has nothing to do with what you deserve. And you’re not a bad person, so stop punishing yourself.”

“You told me I could make it real,” he murmurs.

“Then ask the question. You can leave it here with that plant, or you can do something for you this one time.”

“We were in the manor,” Bruce begins. “And there were kids playing in the other room, and you looked so happy. I was happy again, and I haven’t been happy in that house since I was eight years old.”

“Things can change,” you whisper.

“Would you- could we try?” Bruce asks.

“The kids in the manor thing or the you and me thing?” you tease.

You lay your hands on Bruce’s shoulders and lean close to him. His hands hover above your waist before settling against the top of your hips.

“Both?” he suggests.

“Alfred will be so happy to have company again,” you say before closing the distance and kissing Bruce.

His dreams are coming true, and yours are too. The fight never ends, but part of you is glad that the Black Mercy attached to Bruce’s chest and the version of you in his heart convinced him to take the next step.

“Alright, let’s go, Brucie,” you say as you pull back. “Clark’s going to get suspicious.”

“Brucie?” Bruce repeats. “You’ve never called me that before.”

“New things, remember? Now, come on, we have a world to protect before you take me on a proper date.”

Bruce follows you as you walk back toward the batplane and shakes his head as he murmurs, “Does this not count?”

[ladytauria]

[jaytim] baby bird ?

this wip is really old!! i started writing this one i think before or just after i started working on script: flipped, my first (& mostly gen) reverse robins au.

it’s not abandoned necessarily but i haven’t worked on it in agesssss

anyway, its the classic plot of ‘tim finds out ra’s has used his dna to make a baby and, well. he has a baby now uhoh’

Six hours later, at eleven in the morning, Jason lets himself into the Monarch. In one hand, he holds a to-go cup of coffee from Tim’s favorite cafe. In the other, he has a bag containing a breakfast sandwich. He’s pretty sure the coffee will purchase him at least five minutes of Tim’s time before he gets thrown out if Tim is feeling secretive. The sandwich is just because he doubts Tim’s eaten since he got back.

He finds Tim on the couch.

Tim starts at the sight of him, banging his leg on the coffee table, one hand shooting out to catch his laptop before it goes tumbling to the floor. “Jason!” Tim’s voice is just shy of a yelp. “What are you doing here?” He sets the laptop onto the coffee table, and shoots to his feet.

Definitely not suspicious.

Jason holds out the coffee cup. “Hadn’t seen you in a bit. Thought I’d drop in.” Jason’s voice is chipper. Cheerful. “I also brought food.”

Tim stares longingly at the coffee and—after a moment—snatches both it and the bag from Jason’s hands.

Jason plops into a chair adjacent from the couch. “So, are you workin’ a case?”

“...something like that,” Tim mutters, downing the coffee like it was water and he was a man dying of thirst. He doesn’t come up for air until he’s guzzled at least half the drink by Jason’s estimation. Then, he opens the bag and tears into the sandwich. He’s midway through his third bite when he says, “So, what’d you need, anyway?”

Or. Well. That’s what Jason thinks he says. It’s a bit garbled, given the food stuffed in his mouth.

Jason is kind enough to ignore it. “Like I said,” Jason repeats. “I just wanted to check in. Hadn’t seen you on the streets in a bit and got a little worried, s’all.”

For whatever reason, Tim flushes. “Oh. Um. Well. I’m fine, as you can see.” He gestures.

Jason nods at him. “Uh-huh. Sure. But, now that I’m here, I’m curious. What exactly have you been doing?”

Tim takes another bite of his sandwich in lieu of answering. Jason can see the wheels of his brain turning, putting together an excuse. He narrows his eyes.

Tim lies to Batman, and gets away with it, on the reg. Whatever he says, it’s going to be plausible. If it was any other day, he might even have evidence to back it up... but this time, he hasn’t thought that far ahead—which means he’s going to lie to Jason, and Jason is going to know it’s a lie.

The question is: how hard does he press?

Tim swallows. He opens his mouth to answer, but, before he can get the words out he’s cut off by... something that sounds suspiciously like an infant’s wail.

Tim stiffens.

Jason stares.

Blinks.

“Tim,” he says slowly. “Is that a fucking baby?”

Tim winces. “...I can explain.” The cry continues, growing steadily louder. “In a second.” He drops the half-eaten sandwich onto the empty bag and then darts off towards the sound. He returns with a baby, what the fuck, wrapped in a red blanket.

The child is tiny, fitting neatly in the crook of Tim’s arms as he goes into the kitchen. Tim gets a pre-prepared bottle from the fridge and nukes it. He tests the liquid on his wrist in a motion that was sure, but unpracticed, before guiding the nipple into the infant’s mouth. The cries quiet immediately as the baby latches on, drinking almost as greedily as Tim had earlier.

Tim returns to the couch, sitting opposite Jason again. He leans back against the cushions with a heaving sigh.

Jason can’t help the way he stares at the baby. It’s eyes are half closed; tiny little hands pressed against the bottle, kneading against the hard plastic. Tim’s free hand supports its head; his thumb stroking through the feathery hair.

[curious about my wips? send me an ask about one of the ones on this list]

[thevoidstaredback]

Phantom didn’t like going to Gotham. He made that very obvious on his way out right before he asked the House to take him to the top of the WE building in Old Gotham. There had been a brief moment of surprise about him knowing the layout of Gotham, but it was quickly shoved back behind the shock of Captain Marvel actually being a whole ass child! Not an adult like everyone thought or a child in only appearance, but an actual I’ve-only-existed-for-barely-fourteen-years child!

Billy would be fine. If he wanted out of the situation, the House would get him out. Though, he trusted his Fraid his team to not push Billy too far or hard. They all knew what he was capable of  when he’s Captain Marvel, so they’ll keep their petulance to themselves. Probably.

Honestly, Phantom wanted to get this meeting done and over with as soon as possible. Neither he nor Batman had set a time, so he was going to show up on top of the building and hope for the best. It was night in New Jersey, so he knew the Bat Clan would be out and about. It was now only a matter of getting Batsy’s attention. However, Phantom knew that Lady Gotham would get her knight to him sooner rather than later.

He was right, obviously, when Batman and Nightwing showed up no more than ten minutes after he did. He’d drawn another door on the wall, leaving the handle off, so he was ready to flee if he needed to.

He really hoped he wouldn’t need to.

“I’m not accepting Red Robin’s apology,” Phantom said as soon as the two had stepped closer to him, “Nor am I accepting one on his behalf. The sentiment is nice, though.”

Batman and Nightwing seemed to somehow both relax and tense up at the same time. Probably because he’s not accepting apologies at this time, as well as the fact that he used RR’s hero name instead of his real name.

Batman nodded. “Understood.”

“Fantastic,” Phantom clapped his hands together, “What’d you call me here for, Mr. Batman, sir?”

Nightwing smiled at the way of address. “We wanted to know if there was anything we could do to clear the air?” He offered, “We don’t want any bad blood between either the teams or the members of each team, so we’d like to do what we can to get back into good graces.”

Phantom sized the two up, crossing his legs as he floated in front of them. “Is this because Constantine hinted at a potential war between my home and yours?” Neither needed to answer. He sighed. “I assume you looked over the entire PowerPoint John made up?”

“Yes,” Batman grunted.

“Then you should know that asking anyone who is Dead, Undead, or Undying about anything pertaining to their death is taboo, yes?”

“Yes,”

“I’m gonna let you two in on a not-so-secret secret, m’kay?” Phantom rolled his neck, his body fuzzing at the edges. “The Infinite Realms does not take kindly to Her King being hurt, but She does not act against or without him. Red Robin asked about things that do not concern him, acting upon the impulses of his mentors, friends, and coworkers. This does not excuse him, but I will not be acting against him.” The two seemed to both sigh in relief, but he knew they didn’t. “Reparations will be up to you to enact accordingly. However, if there is a second slight from any of you, the Realms and Her people will act accordingly. That may be a war, or it may be isolation. I have no way of telling.”

Nightwing bowed his head slightly. “Thank you for the warning,” his voice was shaking minutely, “It will be passed on and held to word.”

“Good.” The heavy air that had taken over the rooftop suddenly lifted, allowing the two humans to breathe easier and regain their voices. “Anything else you need me for?”

“Yes,” Batman said again, obviously going off script if Nightwing’s expression was anything to go by. “Have you been to Gotham before?”

Phantom grinned from ear to ear. “I have, actually! When Nightwing here was just a tiny baby Robin.”

Nightwing blinked. “Oh?”

“Yep! You were so cute! Though, blue looks much better on you. Better for stealth, too.”

“Oh, um, thank you?” He seemed slightly confused, but was flattered.

“Gotham is healthier than then, too.” Phantom looked past them and into the shadows of the building behind them. “She holds you and your cauldron in high regard.”

“‘Cauldron’?” Nightwing asked.

“Gotham?” Batman demanded.

Phantom nodded, not looking away from the City Spirit behind them and across the street. “You won’t see her unless she wants you to, but she works to protect you as you protect her.” He bowed his head to her and she did the same. Batman and Nightwing turned to see what he was looking at, only seeing shadows. “She protects her own.”

Batman turned back to face Phantom. “What can you tell me about her?”

“Nothing that you don’t already know.

Silence overtook the rooftop, none of the three moving to leave or advance. Phantom was observing his two hosts, while Batman and Nightwing were stuck in their own heads.

Phantom had said that he’d been to Gotham when Dick was Robin- freshly Robin, if ‘tiny baby’ was interpreted correctly. But, Batman was sure he’d remember anyone lookin like Phantom coming into Gotham, even if it had been so long ago. But, had it been Phantom that had come, or had it been his civilian identity? Probaby him as a civilian, seeing as Phantom wasn’t a hero until recently. Unless Tim’s file was to be believed, which he had no doubts about, then Phantom had been a hero for far longer than any of them knew.  “The question now was where had the missing time gone? Phantom claimed to be thirty-eight years old, but Tim’s file had said that Phantom had acted as a hero nearly one-hundred-twenty-four years ago, with the first sightings of Phantom going as far back as the earliest recorded history. It required further research.

“I know that look, B,” Nightwing whispered beside him, “Looking into him is what got us into this mess in the first place. If you want answers, you’re gonna have to suck it up and ask him.”

Batman grunted softly. He knew that! He wasn’t going to betray Phantom like that after his own child had. Especially since the consequences of doing so were such a coin toss- ha. No, he wouldn’t risk his family, Gotham, or the world like that.

“I hate to cut this short,” Phantom landed both his feet back onto the rooftop, pulling a piece of chalk from his front left pocket, “but Captain Marvel is visiting the House of Mysteries and I’d like to talk to him some more before he heads back to Fawcett.”

“Captain Marvel’s with JLD?” Nightwing asked, the question coming out before he could stop himself.

“Yep! The only way into the House is by invitation from one of the residents.” He drew a circle inside of the chalk rectangle that was on the wall behind him. “Thanks for having me!” The door closed behind him, the chalk dust falling off the wall and clumping on the ground.

“What the..?” Nightwing wondered.

“Magic,” Batman growled.

Part 13 Part 15

[sepublic]

So disappointed to hear the newest Batman show is doing yet another edgy twisted Joker. Like it’s so old it’s so boring it’s so dumb, and worst of all it’s faux-deep because none of his Society ramblings are actual criticisms, nor is his character one. You know what’d actually be fun and subversive at this point? A version of Joker that’s actually funny. A Joker who’s actually a joke villain and not just trying to be the darkest version yet.

It’s a Joker who performs the strangest crimes that aren’t really that big a deal, especially not compared to other criminals. So flooding the docks with a bunch of rubber ducks. But it’s technically a crime and it’s a slow night so Batman decides to deal with it.

Give me a Joker who’s genuinely just doing this for fun. While other Batman villains are serious or operate on some pathos or logic, the Joker’s just a dude who’s simple and knows what he wants, and it’s just straight up gags. He does rob a bank with clown henchman but they’re actual clowns doing funny little gags the whole time:

The Joker is so genuinely unserious and it embarrasses Batman because he wants to brood deep down but then gets deflated each time; Joker’s the only villain to legitimately get under Batman’s skin for how he roasts him, he’s like Spider-Man even. The other villains are baffled by this man, and the only thing the Joker’s brutally murdering is the otherwise dark, played completely straight tone he’s knocked over like some bowling pins.

It gets to a point where it’s revealed that the Joker could be really devastating if he truly wanted to be; It turns out he knows who Batman is, he leaves a prank for him in the Batcave. But he just never does anything with it because that’s like killing the other player in a video game. He’s here to have fun, he’s not a rage quitter. He’s operating on Roger Rabbit rules where Joker can only do something if it’s funny, so he’s not going to kill Batman in his sleep because there’s no fun in that.

There’s a surprising moment of pathos where Batman has hit a low point and it’s the Joker of all people who comes in to cheer him up, make him laugh and say you’ve got this Batman! You’ve proven to everyone you can! And Batman’s like You’re right Joker. I do have it. Thanks! And Joker’s like Sure thing Pal, can’t have my best playmate being bummed out. And then he just leaves.

I need their dynamic to reach a point where it’s like this video. Batman can’t understand a joke and assumes it must be operating on five different layers of irony for him to Not Get It and he needs a master of comedy to solve it, he’s treating it like one of Nygma’s riddles and Joker’s just like. Actually this is a very simple joke Bats you’re just literal. Batman would say he’s come for a battle of wits only for the Joker to be unarmed, and Joker says his momma sucked him good and hard through his jorts because he’s a peak troll.

Would this type of Joker border on Sexyman bait? Maybe. But it’d be far preferable to the inundation of Edgy Joker we keep getting. Let’s play Joker completely straight. Make him The Lego Batman Movie incarnation. Or The Brave and the Bold; Just because there’s two instances doesn’t change the fact that there’s only two instances. He sees the other Jokers and is baffled, Why so serious but it’s genuine. He would love it if Terry responded to his banter.

[armed-with-a-waffle-iron]

Babs (aged 17): “Did you know newborn Robins only take two weeks to get as big as their parents?”

Dick (aged 15-16): “This some kind of elaborate short joke? Because you’re boring.”

Babs: “... Still taller than you.”

Dick: “For now.”

Babs: “For-ever.”

Dick: “For…k off.”

Babs: “Nah, you’d miss me too much.”

Dick: “You’d be mistaken.”

Babs: “You’d be miserable.”

Dick: “You're missing the point. Was doing this 3 years before you showed up.”

Babs: “You’d have only done 3 years if I didn’t.”

Dick: "As if you'd survive 3 minutes as Bat's partner."

Babs: "I'd have better sense. I'm not even his partner now."

Dick: "I'm flattered. You just tag along to see me, do you?"

Babs: "Exactly. The elf boots and pants are a riot."

Dick: *stands up in front of her* "Tell me my legs don't look-"

Batman (over coms): "Nothing to report, I assume?"

Dick: "No. Nope. Um..."

Batman: "Good to know you're both so focused."

Dick and Babs: ... *blushing and looking opposite directions from each other*

Later:

Babs: “Hey. It wasn’t a short joke by the way. I meant-”

Dick: “I know what you meant. I was just…you just...it all felt a little too real all of a sudden, you know?”

Babs: “Yeah, I know."

*Both smile at each other for a little too long, their cheeks starting to warm. Dick looks away.*

Babs: *punches his shoulder* "What’d you do without me?”

Dick: “Don’t you start.”

[wonderjanga]

Why’re You Friends With All These Psychopaths?!

Marvel is friends with a bunch of, well, to be quite honest, crazy, weird, or strange people.

Vicky Vale: “This just in, we have reports of Captain Marvel eating tacos with Man-Bat on the roof of Wayne Enterprises.”

Marvel and Man-Bat: *lowkey chilling*

Man-Bat: *getting a little jumpy every now and then when it hears more people coming*

Marvel: *patting it’s chrome dome to calm it down*

Later…

Batman: *appears out of nowhere* “Captain. What are you doing with, Langstrom?”

Marvel: “Langstrom? That’s his name?” *still patting Kirk’s head so he doesn’t fly off*

Batman: “Yes-” *does double take* “Are those blood bags?” *points to some nearby blood bags next to the two*

Marvel: “Huh? Oh yeah, they are.”

Batman: “…why do you have blood bags? More importantly, how did you get them?”

Marvel: “The vampires in Fawcett, just buy it from stores so I got some from there. And I brought it because I thought my friend here wouldn’t eat the tacos without it.”

*silence*

Batman: “Right… so let me just…” *walks over and injects Kirk with the serum*

Man-Bat: *changes back to his shriveled little old man form*

Marvel: “He’s a human?!”

After that, Bruce took Man-Bat back to the Asylum. Now, whenever Kirk would transform back into a bat he’d fly over to Fawcett so he could hang out with Marvel and every single time without fail, Bruce has to go over there and bring him back to Arkham.

or

Some Time When Jason was with the LoA…

Ra’s Al Ghul and Marvel: *sipping tea together*

Jason Todd: “Ra’s- Captain Marvel?”

Marvel: “Huh?” *stares for a solid second* “Robin #2?”

*silence*

Marvel: “It really is you! Come sit with us!” *pats the table and magics a chair and another teacup*

Jason Todd: *slowly walks over and sits down* “How do you both know each other?”

Marvel: “Well, I was investigating the Lazarus pits and we met each other. From there, we just clicked!”

Jason Todd: *looks to Talia*

Talia Al Ghul: *shrugs and pours Jason some tea before refilling her own cup*

Talia is just glad her father has someone to talk with that’s actually a decent human being and isn’t in the league.

or

Guy Gardner: *burst through saloon doors* “You’re all under arrest- Cap?!”

Marvel: *waving* “Hey, Guy!”

Alien Terrorist Group: *all see Cap wave so they think the Guy’s good* “Hey, Guy!” *also wave*

*silence*

Guy Gardner: “Cap, can we talk outside for a second?”

Marvel: “Sure!”

Outside…

Marvel: “So what’d you wanna talk about?”

Guy Gardner: “Dude…” *floats so he can put a hand on Marvel’s shoulder* “Why the FUCK ARE YOU HANGING OUT WITH TERRORISTS??”

Marvel: *confused* “Terrorists? Who are the terrorists??”

Guy Gardner: “Wha- THOSE ASSHOLES!”*points to the alien saloon*

As for how Marvel befriended all of these people/creatures. It’s his overwhelming niceness.

[fandomly-obsessed]

Why I would Die pt. 2

Gotham

Mc: *jumping around the rooftops in full costume*

Batman, exiting from the shadows: “The Penguin.”

Mc, trying to stick my pointy nose back on: “Um… yes?”

—————

Mc: *stabs Joker bc fck that guy*

Batman, aiming his weapon: “You killed.”

Mc: “Yeah? People do it all the time around here, it didn’t seem like a big deal!”

Batman: “I don’t allow murderers in my city.”

Mc, pointing exaggeratedly at dead Joker: “So, what, I gotta have some weird homoerotic relationship with you, first?”

Barbara: *mutes comms bc everyone is laughing*

—————

*In Arkham Asylum*

Crocodile: *ignoring mc*

Mc: “So what’d you do to get put in timeout?”

—————

Red Robin: “Batman doesn’t like vigilantes in his city.”

Mc, just walking around looking for fights: “What’s he gonna do, adopt me?”

—————

Nightwing: “it’s not safe to be on the roof at night.”

Mc: “… *shrug* safer than on the ground.”

Nightwing: *sigh* “Look, can I walk you home?”

Mc, pointing: “Yeah, sure. It’s about five feet that way.”

Nightwing: “You’re homeless?”

Mc, sarcastically: “We are in Gotham, y’know.”

—————

*watching Red Robin fight criminals*

Mc, idly: “Red Robin - yum! 🎶 “

RR: *looks around for mc, gets stabbed*

Mc: “oops.”

—————

Mc: “I never understood why people have a Daddy kink. I mean, what? You want him to beat your ass and be emotionally unavailable?”

Bruce: *bruce noises*

Mc: “Uh oh.”

[toomanyf4ndoms7]

A Canary On Your Shoulder.

Summary: An impromptu sleepover takes a turn.

@helenababs

@spoilerqlert

Barbara didn’t call this a sleepover. It wasn’t. Dinah was sleeping on the couch after a tough mission, too exhausted for a bed. Barbara had even draped a blanket over her.

Such a gracious host. The couch was pretty comfortable too.

Barbara was a quiet sleeper, as far as Dinah could tell. So when she heard a gasp of heavy breath from the Oracle’s quarters of slumber, she figured it’d be smart to check in.

A worse partner would have not moved an inch.

Groaning to her feet, Dinah made her way to Barbara’s bedroom. Or, second bedroom, most likely. She stepped over a Batman plush with a couple pins poked into it.

Nice.

Barbara was sitting up in her bed, shaking as she stared off into space with wide eyes.

Dinah’s hand gently slid into Barbara’s own, careful not to squeeze too tight and shock her. Barbara had a damn good left punch.

“Barbara, it’s me, I’m going to keep you company for a bit,” Dinah offered persuasively.

Slowly, little by little, the trembling slowed, Barbara’s breathing relaxing to a typical state. But, weirdly enough, she looked even the littlest bit embarrassed about the situation.

It made sense for Barbara, independent as she always was. But even when she was given permission to leave, Dinah shook her head.

“Sorry, you don’t get out of it that easily. What’d you dream about?”

Barbara looked away with a scowl.

“None of your business.”

A concerned expression flickered in Dinah’s eyes. She had to be careful. Not too soft to make Barbara feel coddled, but not too stern to cause an argument. Luckily, Dinah Lance could be versatile.

“Considering that I’m your partner, I’d say it is. Just… give me the cliff notes, if you want?”

With a sigh and rubbing a cloth on her forehead, Barbara began to explain.

“I was in the clock tower. Watching you on a mission, when suddenly, all the screens went dark. I couldn’t see you, but I could hear you, and…

Two quick blinks.

“You were hurt. You needed help, help that I could give, but I couldn’t see you, I couldn’t help you, I couldn’t do anything, but I could hear you…”

Barbara’s eyes lowered, falling silent. Dinah could predict the rest of the sentence.

“Hey, don’t worry about it. I’m way too stubborn to leave you,” Dinah offered as comfort.

Barbara’s fiery orange eyebrows narrowed.

“Don’t talk to me like that. I’m not a little kid who had a bad dream.”

A smirk.

“I’m not using the baby voice, Barbara. I’m using the best friend voice. There’s a difference.”

A roll of the eyes, Barbara was getting back into her comfort zone. Dinah had an idea.

“You know, if you’re feeling grumpy, I know a way to fix that,” she teased.

Barbara’s eyes went wide, attempting to pull the sheets back over her upper body.

“Dinah, don’t you dare-

In a lightning fast movement, Dinah fingers danced along Barbara’s stomach, one of her two sensitive tickling spots, causing the All-Seeing Oracle to burst into hysterical giggling and laughter. It really was a lovely laugh.

She didn’t do it for long, pulling away when Barbara gasped out a stop. Dinah stood up, arms folded in a picture of friendly pride.

“Told you.”

“You can be a real pain in my neck, you know that?” Barbara asked, but with no true malice. This was just the bonus of their relationship.

Dinah’s smile was the perfect mix of softness and confidence.

“A pain you can’t help keep around.”

Not a word was said after that. They knew that the statement was true.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Keepsafes

Fandom: Batman, DC Comics

Summary: AU where Martha and Thomas survive, and they adopt the batkids.

Chapters: 29/?

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Harvey Dent, Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain, David Cain, Talia al Ghul, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Tim Drake

Relationships: Thomas Wayne/Martha Wayne/Alfred Pennyworth, BruHarvey, BruTalia

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Hurt/Comfort, Bruce Wayne is Not Batman, Angst, Alfred Pennyworth Knows All, Bruce Wayne Only Has One Child, Bruce Wayne is Not An Only Child, Bi Bruce Wayne

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Double Dutch

Bruce fell asleep with his head on Harvey’s lap, and Harvey woke up smiling. “Bruce? Bruce, what did you want to talk to me about?” Harvey asked as he playfully tugged at strands of Bruce’s bangs. 

“Five more minutes,” Bruce mumbled. Harvey pouted as he touched Bruce’s cheek and let his thumb press against Bruce’s lips. Bruce chuckled and playfully caught Harvey’s thumb between his teeth. 

“What’d you want to talk to me about?” Harvey asked as Bruce let go of his thumb. 

“What happens if you go home and get back with Gilda?” Bruce questioned. “Are you gonna tell her we slept together?” Harvey withdrew his hands from Bruce and laced his fingers behind his head. “What?”

“Nothing, I just—. It’s something I’m working through right now,” Harvey replied, “Bruce, don’t make me choose. I know you’re thinking about my future, but it’s mine. If I want you and that jeopardizes my chances of being a lawyer or a DA, then I say screw ‘em. Screw ‘em because I can’t handle life without you. 

“If you make me choose, I’m gonna choose you every time. I don’t care how mad I get at you for the way you think, I need you. You said I didn’t need you, but I do. It goes beyond attachment—.” 

“Did you break up with Gilda because you thought I wanted you to choose?” Bruce asked. Harvey didn’t answer. “You told me it wasn’t about me.”

“It isn’t. It’s about what I want most. It just so happens that what I want is you,” Harvey mumbled. 

Bruce sat up and looked into Harvey’s eyes. “Harvey—.” 

“You don’t get to choose for me,” Harvey replied, “You can force me to choose, but you can’t be mad when I choose you.” Bruce frowned at Harvey and tried to conceal the fact that his heart was beating out of his chest. 

“Do you want to choose? If you don’t I need you to tell me because I—. I need to know if you love her,” Bruce replied.

“I do, but it’s new. I can cut my losses now if—. Wait… Are you saying I don’t have to choose between you two?” Harvey asked. “But what if I—?”

“I want to make it work. I’m not attracted to her, and I don’t know how this will work or if Gilda’s willing to share, but I—. I want you, but I—.” 

“I can talk to her. She saw how badly I struggled with letting you go… And I—. If we can compromise on something where I can make it up to her—.” 

“Let me fly her out,” Bruce whispered, “When you’re well, we can all talk about this. I think she deserves to have a say in what happens. Don’t you?”

**

Kate sat on Bruce’s shoulders in the yard while Beth, Thomas, and Alfred had tea on the porch. “Bruce, why don’t you have a girlfriend?” Kate asked. 

“I went on a date with that girl a few weeks ago—.” 

“She isn’t your girlfriend… Do you like girls?” Kate questioned. Bruce made a face before reaching up to touch Kate’s nose. “Bruce, I’m serious.”

“I know. I just want to understand why you’re asking me all these personal questions. What are you digging for?” Bruce uncomfortably laughed. 

Kate rested her chin on his head. “How do you know if you’re gay?” Kate asked. Bruce sat in the grass and let her climb down, so they could have a regular conversation. 

“I don’t know… It just sort of happens. I think we all just get to that age where we’ve got a crush on somebody and sometimes that somebody is a girl, sometimes it’s not. You didn’t have to ask all those personal questions to get an answer out of me… And I’m not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with being gay—.”

“But the army—.”

“That’s not an indicator of good character. It’s an old rule that I don’t agree with, and I don’t think it has anything to do with how strong or kind or trustworthy someone is. Being gay doesn’t make you a bad person. Hating someone for things they can’t control makes you a bad person,” Bruce replied as he picked through some of the clovers in the yard. Kate squeezed his nose between her knuckles, and he smiled. “I have a crush on a boy… But I like girls sometimes, too.” 

Kate let go of his nose and looked down at the grass. “Do you think I’m weird?” Kate asked. 

Bruce leaned forward and pinched her cheek. “I don’t think you’re weird. Are people at school saying you’re weird?” Bruce asked. Kate nodded. “Guess what? Kids used to say I was weird. Now people think I’m cool… And I didn’t change who I am. The way they saw me changed.” Kate shrugged. “Katie-binks, you are the coolest girl I know… Don’t let the world make you boring. You don’t have to be like anyone else… And don’t let Bethie know I said you were the coolest. I wouldn’t want to hurt her feelings.” 

He made a few hit sound effects as he brushed her cheek with his knuckles. “ Bang! Pow! Oof, kid. That’s gonna leave a mark,” Bruce laughed as he raised his hands. Kate stood up and punched his palms. “Throw in some combinations, Kate. I can take it. I’m no wimp. Come on, give me your best shots.” Kate swung as hard as she could, and Bruce chuckled. “And who cares if you’re weird? Maybe you are weird. Maybe that’s why I like you so much.” 

**

Martha picked up Harvey from the hospital in relative silence until they got home, and he followed her to the sunroom to watch her draw. “I don’t know why I’m being weird with you,” Martha laughed. 

“It’s okay… Mrs. Wayne—.”

“It’s Martha but go on,” Martha corrected him. 

Harvey smiled. “Martha, I love Bruce,” Harvey confessed, “I never stopped loving him.”

Martha popped a chocolate in her mouth and turned to Harvey. “I know. Do you want some chocolate? I can’t stop eating them. Can you actually take them from me? That’d be great,” Martha whispered. Harvey took the box and ate the chocolate at the center before making a face at Martha. “Do you want to spit it in my hand?”

“No, it’s fine. Orange and cinnamon,” Harvey replied as he took a sip of juice. “I need to learn German or French soon. I’m so lost.” 

“Oh, Harv, that’s Flemish and French. I’m just as lost as you are. I know German, Yiddish, and a smidge of Spanish. I’m useless to you,” Martha joked.

“Bruce wants to fly Gilda out to talk about sharing me,” Harvey whispered. 

“Neither of them owns you. You can’t be shared, sweetie. Don’t be silly. You can split time, but you as a human being with thoughts and feelings cannot be shared. Bruce and Gilda… They’re not attracted to each other?” Martha questioned. 

“No. And they’ve both made that abundantly clear… But I’ve never seen—. How could this work? They’re so different,” Harvey whispered. 

“You won’t know if it works until you give it a try,” Martha replied, “Harvey, love comes in all shapes, sizes, and forms. Just because it isn’t typical doesn’t mean—.” She smiled and glanced up at him. “Do you mind if I draw you? I got these oil pastels at the store the other day, and I haven’t used them since I was pregnant with Bruce.”

“I don’t mind. Martha, but I—. Don’t you want better for Bruce as his mom?” Harvey asked.

“Better than you? No, that’s just unrealistic. Your love is unconditional. What’s better than that?” Martha asked. 

**

“Ice cream soda, cherry on top! Who’s your girlfriend? I forgot! An A! A B! A C! A D!” Beth and Kate shouted as Bruce jumped rope with them. 

“Bruce can do this all day. Should someone tell them?” Thomas asked. 

“It’s much more fun this way, Thomas,” Alfred smiled, “Isn’t it pleasant? Seeing him play like a child again? ” 

“Wait a minute, I think he’s gonna concede. What letter do you think he’ll land on?” Thomas asked. 

“O! Okay! One more turn, so we can pick a name!” Beth exclaimed. 

Bruce nodded and got ready to jump in again. “Olivia! Ophelia! Oakley! Olive! Opal! Odette!” Kate shouted before locking eyes with Beth.

“Oprah! Olga! Oona!” Beth shouted before Bruce jumped out. 

“Oona!” the girls shouted. Bruce sat on the ground and took a deep breath, feigning exhaustion.

“Is she cute?” Bruce asked. Kate and Beth sat on either side of Bruce. 

“So pretty,” Beth answered, “And she’s smart.” 

“How smart are we talkin’?” Bruce asked. 

“A genius,” Kate answered, “She works for NASA.”

“I bet she’s out of this world,” Bruce joked, “Oona the astrophysicist. Do you guys think I have a shot?”

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

DAMN CAP YOU COOKED THIS IS MASSIVE!! SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 72 OF PN BELOW BEWEAR!!

OHH SHE TOOK THE EARINGS WITH HER STEALING THEM ok i’m a fool right this makes sense. 

Girl. girl please. “You gotta trust me marinette I’m the only one you can trust” YOU WERE TRYING TO SCAM HER 

Love Fei, the dichotomy of man is so real with her

Damn brother what an intro, and then we snap back to Juleka pretending she is Batman. I hope she is at least enjoying running around on the rooftops she wanted to chapters ago

I genuinely can’t tell if girly has a concussion or not. I am one to be tricked by the narrator so since she’s saying she doesn’t i’m like “Oh ok, i trust you”

Aww cute Alya and Juleka friending it up real style, I like how Alya was begging panthera to find marinette, so real of her. 

Juleka: dont worry i actually do this super often

Alya: be concussed on a rooftop?

HA-

Yooo super soulmate tracking activated??

I still find the fact that Marinette said that they “speedran dating” to be hilarious

Fei panicking like this is her first sleepover is so silly style

AUGH NO MARINETTE IS NOT THE PERSON TO ADMIT YOU WANT TO KILL SOMEONE TO

Like i love girly but damn Fei you did not choose the right person to admit murderous intent to

Like maybe this is good for Fei to be told “hey girl that’s a bit far” but like let the girl get her emotions off her chest before invalidating them LB damn

Cash, my brother, fuck off. Fei, kick him in the balls, I command thee. 

She was being emotionally vulnerable! Let her have her moment! 

Damn brother, Cash really just hit Marinette with the fact that good people can do bad things for reasons they see as good, this will literally break her good people meter.

Panthera where be you

Ricky, ricky when I catch you ricky (me about Cash)

YES GIRL (marinette said screw you, i’m hype)

Oop- Marinette is fighting back, and now she pointed out the obvious (to us, not to Fei) 

Damn brother plot twist (which I forgor) 

Oh dear oh dear oh dear, poor Fei. Girly it’s ok he took advantage of you in a vulnerable state that’s not your fault augh I feel awful for her

NOOO HAWKCOCK RETURNS BAD TIMING FUCK OFF

Help “what’d her glove do?” his hysterical

She pointed at the little akuma resting on her finger, “Are you gonna eat that?”

“Obviously not! Are you- oh you are. Okay.” ok so. Can marinette eat akumas to purify them?

Hey did Fei just get a real concussion?? Exciting

Who are these random lesbians in my father’s ancient duty cave? I ACTUALLY LOST IT

Oh damn the prodigious have shown up this chapter! Nice. 

NAH NOT HAWKMOTH HAVING PTSD FROM PANTHERA HAAA

Sorry not many comments on this bit i’m too into it to write

Realest reaction to gaining super powers

Wha da hell the renlings are mad. I do not remember them from the shanghai special i just remembered big lion guy

Damn motherfucker this shit bangs

Fei having the time of her life is very fun, it’s also been rather novel to have so much not-Juleka POV lately! Though that tracks with how much you like Fei!

I do wonder if you’re going to have her show up outside of this arc or naw, I guess i shall wait and see >:3

Could these lesbians please focus? HELP FEI STOP BEING SILLY

Damn nobody wants her to kill Cash. except me, Kill him Fei. I demand thee. 

I mean i think it would permanently scar her, but yknow, character building gotta come from somewhere buddy

Goddamn!! That rocked. Fei kicked his ass, hell yeah. Glad she didn’t kill him though (shush i have layers)

Help the awkward after battle chat with Hawkmoth what is this

FEI HAS A POINT THIS IS WEIRD AS SHIT

Backstory?? For Cash?? Ohhhh its that fucker. Cash is the guy who- oh ok it’s all coming together

HELP THE CHAOS

YOOO LION AKUMA HELLLL YEAH

I’ve always thought his akuma was sick as fuck

HAWKMOTH DIED/??

HELP SO MUCH IS HAPPENING ROSE CALLED AND- GTVNBUREFI

Ok so my suspicion that Adrien will find out has dimmed, but the embers are still there. Maybe he’ll be vaporized. 

Yeah maybe now isn’t the time for impromptu therapy ladies

Hell yeah, Panthera for the emotional intelligence win you go girl

Oh no it went wrong, Fei running away from your problems doesn’t work this is an awful time to do that!

No because Fei literally challenges Marinnettes ideals of a good person, her black and white way of thinking about things has been a (interesting!) source of conflict throughout this but i don’t believe she has ever disagreed with someone in this way that she actually likes. Idk if this makes sense, basically what I’m saying is this could be an interesting way to develop her black and white view on good and evil

I have feelings about it all ok??

“I can’t think about this” YES YOU CAN LB

I’m curious when Juleka will use that power again, also what is it called?

HELP NO i am actually out of breath from how much i laughed at Juleka picking up the phone for Rose WHILE CLIMBING WHATS HIM NAME SHADOW OF THE COLLOSUS STYLE 

GIRL. HAVE SOME PRIORITIES. 

WAIT IWIAIT WIH3W

WHAY

WITA

JULEKA CALLED HER SUNBEAM? ISN’T THAT WHAT SHE CALLED ROSE AS PANTHERA OR AM I GOING INSANE

WAIT. ROSE HAS A CLUE NOW? I’M GOING INSANE CAP

CAP PLEASE

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THE ROSE-JULEKA REVEAL FOR YEARS

WHEN. 

Sorry i went mad

In my head when LB was flung off the big guy she pinwheeled through the air silly style

Is. is fei just flying about crying? “A mournful cry” and “red and gold streaked above them” like. As a bird i think that counts as flying about for the fuck of it and sobbing it up real style

It has been. A week maybe more. Sorry got distracted read 1.4 mill for another work got way too invested, we are so back though

And back to Fei’s POV epic crying girl montage qued

“And it was all her fault” girl please, there is a dickhead called HM and I think it’s more his fualt than yours, get over yourself

The renlings are so cool, the dialogue you had them do was mega cool cap

Dragon renling is bad ass, personally i would name them. He is now dubbed; Daniel.

Damn move over Juleka, there’s a new therapist in down, his name is Daniel the Dragon

Oh thank fuck, when Daniel said forgive i was like bitch Cash doesn’t deserve that, but forgiving herself makes so much sense. 

Not Panthera offering to fix her makeup- Juleka is so sweet girl

“We’ve got your back, Fei.” Ladybug exclaimed, “L-Like; If you need a plan, I’ve got one. I’ve got a great plan. I just need a GIANT jug- this made me lose it. What the fuck LB what would a giant jug do pray tell

YEAH DRAGON TIME

Sorry, that piece about her dad was lovely and it was awesome to read, it swept me up so i just ended up saying dragon time

Hm how does the dragon speak if it doesn’t have lips (in my head) 

No because ack what is this plan that involves a giant vase. Panthera you go girl don’t let her get eaten by another akuma, the dinosaur was enough. What will they do for Feast if not be eaten though that is the real question

Ya girly Fei just kicked kaiju ass in under 5 minutes because their timers were going off so, current MVP of the series; Fei, followed by Juleka for her metallica moment

Aww Mei Shi is adorable

He's so nice help

WHERE DID HE GO

Also wonderful break POV, that was a good line

Get his ass gang, cash is a dick

MEI SHI IS ADORABLE YAYAY AND SMALL

Fei has like 13 friends now. Is there 12 renlings or no i can’t remember

“Ooh sounds yummy.”

“You sounded a lot more professional as a robot guardian guy.”

“I was. Now I’m small and terrible.”

“Joy.” I LOVES HIM SO MUCH HE IS SO BABY!!! If only they returned to Paris with LB and Panthera, he could be friends with plagg.

Juleka now has a favor… 

Oh yeah plagg realised he could leave the ring while Juleka is transformed. That feels like an important detail. 

“OH MY GOD I HAVE PARENTS.” i love marinette. I loved this whole interaction actually, “water under the bridge, forced under the bridge” and all that was really funny

Also the fact that Adrien didn’t know your not allowed to sleep with a concussion has me concerned. 

Oh yay!! Juleka and Fei ‘therapy’ session

“That’s our everyday Ladybug!”

“AHA. YEAH. THAT SAYING. LANKS ADRIEN. I MEAN THANKS LADRIEN. THANKS. ADRIEN. AHAH.” realest reaction to that

The ending was very cosy, lots of fun :3

Finito!!!!!!! Amazing chapter Cap, ten out of ten, no a hundred out of ten is more fitting. I look forward to what comes next >:3

DANIEL I’m wheezing

I’m so glad you enjoyed bud! I’m gonna try and keep Fei in her lane for the rest of the fic or else my favoritism will show.

as for Panthera’s “special mode”, that’s called Mass Obliteration!

Plagg leaving the ring while Panthera is transformed is a marker on how much experience she’s had being Panthera.

When characters are transformed, they absorb that Kwami’s power to wear the suit. Then they expend a lots of that magic to use their powers and if they’re young and haven’t used that miraculous much- or don’t have lots of magic in general- then that magic is pretty much depleted to nothing once that power is used and their battery runs out after five minutes.

The Kwami is like the power source to the holder’s battery/charge, with the miraculous being the chord between them. Usually you need them “plugged in” aka in the miraculous at all time when the holder is transformed. However! Panthera’s gotten so used to Plagg’s essence that even if he leaves the ring for a bit, she can stay transformed as she has a bit of his magic to naturally spare. I hope that makes sense I’m babbling. Thank you to my buddy @ghostatjoes for that lore.

The base was in the original Shanghai episode. Ladybug’s plan was to get vored and break the akuma from the inside. It had organs. Mei Shi had organs. I was so disturbed, I didn’t wanna write that— and also I felt like Ladybug overhauling Fei’s fight was wrong. That was HER villain yknow. Wanted Fei to finish it all by herself.

I’m glad you enjoyed! This was def one of my favorite chapters ever to write. I think the size is an obvious indicator. I hope you guys enjoy Season 3! It’s coming I swear. I’m just writing a fun chapter before I drag you all into my hole of hell that I’ve been stewing over for years.

[roo-cifer]

“ I’m not your son!” Tim yells as he run out the manor doors. Bruce and Alfred were stunned. What had gotten into Tim? What was wrong? “Woah B what’d you do?” Dick said dryly having over heard the tail end of the argument. “I- I don’t know.” Bruce was a master detective and even he was puzzled on what brought upon this outburst. “He’s having one of those gross ‘I need my dad’ moments but your not his biological dad and you didn’t choose him to be robin; he chose himself so now he’s angry-sad.” Jason said a lot of weird stuff and this was one of the lesser of some things he’s said but everyone was still very confused. “What?” Bruce asked. “He’s having a-“ “I heard you jay but how do you know that?” “He was mumbling about it when he got infected with fear toxin last time we fought riddler.” Once Jason finally shut his mouth he realized Dick’s and Bruce’s eyes were twitching. “And you didn’t think to tell anybody!?” Dick was not impressed by Jason’s lack of communication skills especially when it came to one of their brother’s feelings. “I tried to talk to Tim after he got the antidote and some rest but after about four words he started yelling very loudly until I stopped talking. Then later when I suggested he explain how he felt to Bruce he grabbed his bow staff and tried to smack me in the ribs with it; so I left it alone.” Jason said shrugging. By this point Batman had been face palming and pinching the bridge of his nose interchangeably for five minutes. “I’m going to go find Tim and talk to him. NO ONE follow me okay?” Bruce said opening the manor doors as Dick and Jason shook their head hard enough to give themselves whiplash.

“Tim?” Bruce called poking his head around the corner into the garden Alfred, Jason, and Cass had started. “Go away Bruce.” Tim choked out; it was evident that Tim had been crying. “I think I might know what is going on?” Bruce said it almost as if it was a question. “Do you really now?” Tim laughed dryly lacking any and all humor in his voice. “Jason told me something. He said that you didn’t feel like my son and that you felt you weren’t worthy of the Robin title-“ “that snitching bitch” “Tim language. But I’m glad he told me cause it’s opened my eyes to something I would have never thought about otherwise. Just because you chose to be Robin and I didn’t choose you doesn’t make you any less of a Robin and it doesn’t make me love you any less. Tim you are my son and although I may not be your biological dad, I can still be your dad if you allow me.” Tim sat there stunned. This was a lot of emotions for Bruce to be showing all at once and he didn’t know how to respond. He started to cry “Bruce… thank you. You and Alfred were the first real father figure I’ve ever had but it felt like I didn’t deserve it.” Tim said looking at his shoes. He never knew how to interact with Bruce and Alfred like all his siblings did; he wasn’t chosen like they were he just showed up exposing his secret identity and asked to be Robin. He wanted so desperately to go to Bruce when he was struggling; or as Jason ‘that bitch’ Todd called it: an “I need my dad” moment. He felt like had no where to go with his emotions cause the one person he could go to was rarely around. Dick used to always be there for Tim; letting him cry into his arms or sparing with him when Tim was angry. Now? Now Tim felt isolated and alone in his feelings. “Tim? Jason said something and I think that’s what’s going on right now. He said you’re having an ‘I need my dad moment’ and I need you to understand this: you can always come to me to complain, punch, or cry too no matter what. I’m your dad now and I want to be that support for you. Will you let me?” Tim didn’t know what to say. He just flung himself into B’s arms and cried. Bruce hugged him as hard as he could trying to get his point across that he was there for him.

The next day when no one was around Bruce cried a little feeling so happy and so sad all at once for letting one of his kids suffer in silence. That day he mentally promised his kids to never let them fester in their feeling for that long ever again.