#“Queers for Palestine” really just want to look cool

[yossibutnossi]

When people in Queers for Palestine say things like "I know I wouldn't have rights in Palestine but my activism is not transactional" I lose it because nobody is bringing up the fact gay men get thrown of roofs because of "transactionality", we are saying it because you are actively harming the LGBT community. You actively go against your gay brothers and sisters in the Middle East when you cheer on Hamas or want to see the only gay-friendly country there abolished. You are hurting your own community because you love your community less than you hate (((Israel))). Get your head out of your asses and realize people telling you about the LGBT killings in Palestine is so you can stop hurting the Palestinians you "care so much about".

[woman-respecter]

oh and one last thing. i cannot believe how leftists and queers are treating sarah mcbride. it makes me sick to my stomach. i can't stomach it actually.

bullying minorities who happen to be "privileged" i.e. rich, white, etc is so fucking gross and easy like bullying a child (and is part of the reason for all the antisemitism btw! since they think we're all whiter than aryans and that we are the most privileged). seeing everyone jumping with joy to harass sarah mcbride a trans woman who's an easy target since she's white and trans (white trans women bad unless they prove themselves by getting arrested for....palestine with jvp like hunter or they threaten to kill biden for cool points like ethel) for sucking up which. all minorities have to do for a place in this world is INSANE.

these are the SAME PEOPLE calling everyone a terf and being misogynistically distrustful of women/feminists because we're all a potential zio- um terf is so sad because 1) transphobia is a serious problem among cis women which should never be downplayed and a lot of cis women are transphobic. i know this because i've faced transphobia lite since i have a bit of an adams apple as a cis woman which leads to transvestigation :/ but 2) the "solution" isn't and will never be to act like cis women are the enemy/worse than men/to be misogynistic towards us either. 3) it's all so sad because these people are doing so much harm by being misogynistic "in the name of good/in the name of trans women" but they're just bullies who also hate trans women but get to hide it because they're #allies. they're "allies" who spread hate in the name of a people who want to be left alone and they spread that hate because deep down they hate trans people and want to make them look bad (not downplaying misogyny that is present in the trans community but yh). these people are trying to stifle the 4b movement in the name of trans women while trans women like veondre mitchell dont gaf (obv trans women are not a monolith). it's so evil. who needs enemies with "allies" like this? (also if you wanna deal with the transphobia the solution isn't to misogynistically try to shut 4b down. but they just hate women and it's never been about trans people so!)

anyways back to the topic. sarah mcbride really breaks my heart. they hate her and they've been treating her so terribly (theyre giving her the jew treatment 😓). no one has her back and it goes to show how the left is a lost cause. if you arent what they want, if you step out of line, they treat you like the conservatives treat you.

yeah i’ve been somewhat following the sarah mcbride saga thanks to the wonderful mariacallous and it is disgusting. i think in part what happened was that post calling her a “zionist” got popular so people wanted to look for more reasons to hate her. these days everything comes back to the Omnicause.

i also think that the trans girl tankies are kind of having a crab bucket moment about a trans woman being successful through grace and intelligence instead of posting graphic threats at people they deem subhuman from behind an anime girl icon on a microblogging website. they hate to see a class act thriving.

sarah mcbride is doing the best she can in a very shitty situation, and people who should be her allies are just making it worse.

[jewish-vents]

My entire life, I've yearned for the kind of community the Jewish community and Judaism have provided me. I found out I had Jewish ancestry when I was a kid, I looked into it more later and realized my most recent Jewish ancestor (like three-ish generations back) was almost certainly forcibly converted out, and decided to convert to like. Make amends for that I guess and also because I really vibed with the holidays and how we turn up everywhere in history bc we keep doing cool stuff despite consistently shitty circumstances.

But I digress.

I have waited my WHOLE LIFE trying to experience the joy becoming Jewish has shown me, and that gets shit on constantly.

My sister has started making a truly obscene number of Jew jokes. My mom scoffs at all the 'nonsense rules' and has said repeatedly that she thinks choosing a 'restrictive' religion is dumb and I've made a mistake. She even said it's an insult to HER parenting skills that I would seek out religion after she tried to teach me to know better.

My dad is dead but I never ever in a million years would have told him even if he were alive, and my sister thinks it's funny to threaten to 'out' me as Jewish to his relatives even though they're basically KKK-adjacent so she actually enjoys threatening mg safety at this point. (Yay family right?)

My friends have turned everything into an Israel/Palestine discussion lately and I know damn well what they're doing when they start saying truly horrible shit about Israelis and looking at me. They get mad if I try to temper their extremism so I've given up. I barely talk to them anymore and I spend more and more time with other Jews from temple and I don't want to like. Isolate myself from all non-Jews I guess bc I've always felt like that leads to weirdness and perpetuates shit about Jews being unfriendly I guess idk?

Anyway I digress again. My point is I'm really sick of constantly being expected to tolerate it when people think I shouldn't be Jewish.

Other queer people think I'm somehow compromising my queer identity by being Jewish, leftists think I hunt Palestinian children for sport now apparently, right-wingers think I traffic good Christian babies for organ harvesting or some shit idfk, my friends think that if I'm not being more vitriolic in my hatred of Israel than they already are I'm some kind of secret rabid Netanyahu fan, my family think I've been recruited into a cult apparently and the only other people who show me even an ounce of compassion or regard are other Jews and Gd knows there's like ten of us and that number is unlikely to increase.

Just. Fuck. I've put blood, sweat, tears and money into this, I invested more time and emotional commitment into this than I have into going to college or choosing a career, I love it more than anything and have only loved it more the more I learned about it, and all I get when I express this or even just let slip that I am Jewish and chose to be, I get nothing but hatred. I will never understand how a religion that has spent all 5000 years of our existence minding our business and arguing about the same book over and over can possibly have offended this many people with our existence.

Dmn anon, that is a lot you're dealing with right now. I'm so sorry you're surrounded by people who clearly don't respect you. Because yes this is a lack of basic respect, and it is antisemitic. Now I don't know how old you are and how safe you are, but if you can safely do so, set very hard boundaries. Do not tolerate this amount of disrespect towards who you are. It is hard, and many of us have had to go through similar situations, as you can read all over this blog. But I think having to spend your life surrounded by people who make you feel unsafe and disrespected is worse. I know sometimes there are situations in which people cannot safely set these boundaries, I hope it's not your case, but if it is feel free to come here to vent again.

I know you don't want to isolate yourself from goyim. Many Jewish people don't want to. Sadly, when people disrespect us like this, they're the ones isolating us. It's not your fault. Seek people who love and accept you. Sadly, a good chunk of goyim won't - I'm not saying everyone, obviously, but a portion. Having a good Jewish support network seems to be more and more important, whether it's irl or online.

I hope you can soon be in an environment that's safer and more accepting

- 🐺

[craftyworx]

im gonna be avoiding chatting with anyone for a bit cuz im rlly upset rn.

if u wanna know why, im ranting a lil under the cut

edit: a "little" uhuh yeah sure buddy u big fat liar

KOSA, Palestine, hazbin hotel drama, and some youtuber drama is whats really making me feel down rn.

KOSA is threatening the very thing that kept me alive. Palestine is extremely upsetting to me, but i try to speak up about it, but when i do i start to get triggering stuff on my dash. dead bodies, blood, graphic irl content- its been keeping me off tumblr sometimes. but if i dont reblog palestine stuff then it'll make me look like a zionist, which is disgusting to me.

then for hazbin- WHY DID IT TAKE ME SO LONG TO FIND OUT ABT THE CREATOR?? she is fucking disgusting holy shit. i've always pirated hazbin and will continue to do so, but now its making me a bit uncomfy to watch. one, because i believe im too young or mentally unstable for it. i dont think being surrounded by curses and sex jokes is good for me rn. but i have a friend who's really into it, and i dont think she knows abt the drama. i dont wanna tell her cuz she LOVES hazbin, and trying to take away hazbin from her is like trying to take poppy playtime from me- and that is a big no no.

she's probably reading this rn and i might just be ruining everything, so if i am im sorry.

but i've seen people say that any hazbin fans should go kts bc they're supporting a racist n@zi women. i've seen people give people death threats for just LIKING hazbin.

i know for a fact that me and my three hazbin friends ARE NOT RACIST AND WE'RE VERY QUEER FRIENDLY. but it still fucking hurts and its making me very iffy with any hazbin fans i talk to.

if i could, i'd just shut hazbin outta my life. but its rlly important to my friend, and i know how important fixations are. but i was just blocked by a super cool artist bc i had hazbin stuff on my blog.

and so many people have been saying that ur a shitty person for just liking hazbin, and if one of ur friends like hazbin then u need better friends... like.. not everyone who watches hazbin is racist and bigoted :(

its so upsetting. and im still upset over the whole "liking tadc and poppy playtime makes you immature" cuz bitch, if you saw the things i have written with either, you're going to be worried. you're going to be disturbed. sui, s/h, child ab@se, animal ab@se, massacre, blood, derealization, kidnapping, manipulation, facade, cults, and so much more- i shouldnt be taking this all so seriously but i handle really heavy topics in my stories and on the internet they're just colorful dudes made for kids content

POPPY PLAYTIME IS FOR KIDS? ARE YOU SERIOUS? drugs, child ab@se, child experimentation, abuse in general, massacre, starvation, cults- ALL THAT IS FOR KIDS NOW IS IT???

i might just make a new blog. i dont want hh on my dash, and im iffy with the ppt fandom.

[fairiedance]

Pinkwashing Palestine

The pinkwashing of the genocide in Palestine is ridiculous. First of all gay rights is not an excuse for killing little kids, at all. Beyond that though, opinions on homosexuality are far from a monolith in the region. My Palestinian best friend and his very traditional, religious family are not homophobic in the slightest. My own white American family took decades longer to come around on gay rights than they did. Would it have been okay to bomb a large portion of the south in the 90s? Should my husband have been killed as a child for being born into a very standard (and very homophobic) sect of Christianity around then? Large swaths of Palestine are roughly where America was not so long ago. Laws are ambiguous (because occupation), some people are cool with gay people, some aren't, many don't really have an opinion. Some areas have a visible queer subculture, some don't. It varies, just like everywhere.

NONE OF THIS could justify the current violence (and PLENTY of queer Palestinians are being killed right now), but I think it's particularly absurd because Palestine really isn't that different than we were not so long ago, and most of us can agree the indiscriminate slaughter of Texans a few decades back would have been bad. Israeli propaganda would have you believe every Arab wants all gay people dead. This is ridiculous.

For more on gay rights in Palestine look at Al Qaws.

In light of this I have added this simple design to my shop (click here), I've seen a few people here expressing they want something like this for protests.

ANY AND ALL PROCEEDS from Palestine related sales through my Redbubble shop will go to my Palestinian best friend (same one mentioned above) to help him bring his girlfriend over to America. Any left over will be used to help his family/other loved ones affected by the war.

[ebbarights]

Plz talk about your crush more I love hearing about ppls crushes it warms my hearttttt

don't tempt me...... okay tempted

also part of me thinks this is someone i know irl who wants to blackmail me but what is this. love simon

okay SO. i am not utterly delusional i think in reality he's just a generally kind person who likes talking to people and maybe thinks i'm nice but he isn't interested in me. like as a disclaimer

so we worked together for a short-term festival like thing and saw each other almost every day for almost two weeks. and almost every time we had a bit of free time we talked to each other (even though there were other people i feel like it was often the two of us) and maybe i'm just starved from horrible bumble conversations but he asked. me. questions. and follow-ups. as in he was actually listening to me. and we talked about movies a lot and i think he had interesting things to say idk

and again this is probably bumble trauma but our texting styles are so similar. no 😂 no full stops no long paragraphs, double texts instead. like it's so easy to text him it felt like we have always been doing it. the texting thing stands in for all of it it's just so easy talking to him, i'm not even super nervous because i know he'll hear me out if i say something embarrassing

also and i hate to say that that matters but he's so tall. i'm 5'8 and it's such a weird feeling to have to look up at someone it's kind of cool

and i think his master's thesis sounds really interesting and i think we have very similar political opinions. like he's pro-palestine, very queer-friendly and shit idk apparently that's rare now if i look at my friends' boyfriends

but i also have to talk about the sad fact that he isn't really into me I THINK. cause we were texting and he asked me what i thought of a movie and then he went to see it because i liked it and then we texted for a bit and in the middle of it he stopped responding. and i had another thing i had to text him, like organisational work stuff, and he didn't take that opportunity to have a longer conversation. i think his text back sounded really neutral and non-committal (my friend said it wasn't it was really nice but i think she was humouring me) and now i can't text him again because that's desperate

but maybe i'll see him at a party on friday and i'll definitely see him at a work thing in late october and we do have that mutual friend who always talks about him. i'm split between her being into him or her wanting to set him up with me. idk i can't place her in that regard. we did say we'd all watch a movie together but how do i get that to actually happen

sorry i didn't talk about his eye colour or his deep voice or something i'm just not that type of person. but he does have nice eyes and a deep voice. jsyk

[legendarydragonperson]

9. Big Idea

Made me feel: like An angry modern hippie

Did I think about any ships with this song: Lowkey any ships that have done anything to do with politics and wanting to do the best in.

Like Sam and Bucky from the Marvel Franchise

Moodboard:

This is not a bad song. I actually really enjoy this song. Going against the status quo and being true to ourselves by standing up for ourselves on what we believe is right. Not just our first-person environment but the world even though it's so big it's something we still are a part of.

I saw the best parts of my generation (I got a big idea) Dismantled the system only to replace it Huddled 'round burnin' while looking for love

Maya Hake is near cusp of gen z and millennial. I have a sister whose a year older and doesn't really now which side she identifies more with and I feel like Maya feels similar.

Wanting to be part of the 'new' but at the same time being blamed for past ideals. Though I know many millennials hate or love gen z, Maya maybe in the neutral area.

Now the reason why I put this at number 9 is because Maya does not practice what she preaches.

She has stood with political issues in the past.

In 2019 when she played Robin on Stranger Things talking about Queerness in media. (I know it's much of a big deal now but in 2019 it was still a little taboo, especially on such a big show where she doesn't die or get harassed for it)

Back in 2022 when the government over turned roe v wade Maye was very vocal about it saying this on The Tonight Show. And covering the story with William H. Macy which was very cool of her.

But what hasn't she talked about? Oh yeah, Palestine.

She's on Stranger Things which is run by the Duffers. Ross Duffer is Pro-Isreal and so is Noah Schnapp. She can't not be in Stranger Things she probs already signed a contract last year. But said to Ms.Khelani there is no rule of law saying "If there was ever a genocide you can't speak about it." Maya had no problem being able to stand up for women's rights when people needed someone with power to shine a light.

Well, Women and girls in Palestine have no resources at all, no menstrual products, no health resources, and no aid because their limbs are being cut, or bombed. Abtomanl issues no doubt to them slowly dying by hunger.

You know How I know she's free to say anything about it.

Amybeth McNulty and Joseph Quinn have been the only ones to say anything.

Amy as been posting allyship, and info links and Joseph participated in an auction for the Medical Aid for Palestinians.

So yeah it pisses me off. I love her, I really do but come on Maya.

back to the rankings

[spiralling-spires]

Im getting a ton of posts on my dash like “reblog if you support x and if you don’t then you’re evil” and it’s fucking with me because as a rule I only reblog stuff that makes me happy, inspired, or conveys a concept I’ve been trying to articulate for years (it’s harder to get me to reblog something that isn’t fandom related, since i want this to be a largely upbeat fandom rambling blog, a pocket of chaotic lightheartedness in a dark world). So I’m making one big post of all of the things:

First off: I stand with Palestine. I don’t post much about Palestine, but this is because I know that humans are much less effective if they’re sad, so I want to make visitors to my blog (who, given that they’re on tumblr, are probably looking for a break from reality) happy enough that they can actually Do Something instead of wallowing in how bad everything is, and I figure that if you follow practically anyone else on Tumblr you probably see a ton of Palestine posts already. Daily clicks link

Now for the queer/identity stuff: I support all queer people. I support arospec and acespec of all kinds, i support trans people, i support enbies, i support people of all genders (especially xenogender havers and neopronoun users, yall are great), terfs can fuck off, labels exist to help us understand ourselves and each other, not to be gatekept and exclude people just because the real villains (actual honest-to-god bigots with large amounts of money and political power) are too scary to fight.

(I am queer. Frankly, I’ve given up on labels altogether for myself, but gender, especially xenogenders, were a hyperfixation of mine for a while, and I identified with a lot of labels before tossing them all out and going with “idk, not cis?”. Wanted to add this, because all the above makes it sound like I’m a cishetallo ally and i am definitely not cis, het, or allo)

I’m undoubtedly missing a ton more things, but I needed to make this post because I don’t want my dash to just be a thousand “reblog if you support x” posts that i reblogged because i was worried people would think i was evil if i didn’t.

And on that note: please stop villainizing people who dont reblog your post. It’s really not cool, and quite manipulative. Sincerely, someone with anxiety over practically everything on the internet

[catis15]

Alr fair enough, and imma be totally honest, I was in a shit mood going into this and was being more a bitch than an adult having a conversation

I don't expect to change your mind, and quite frankly don't care enough to want to, but having an educated discussion is always something I'm up for. Challenging each other is like one of the only ways for people to grow as human beings.

Please excuse if I sound high ASF tho it's hella late where I live and I'm like rly fuckn tired

1. Fair enough no they wouldn't pay if they didn't need it. And quite honestly I fucking hate my country and while I know lots of good ppl in the military, I'm not a huge fan of what it stands for. But it's the best bet I have for securing my future in a country where everything is fucked no matter what. I'd rather be a slightly less shit person in a shit system then go back to having nothing going for me. I would love to change the country one day, and like it or not ppl are more willing to listen to someone who was in the military than some nerdy queer art kid who thinks the country kinda sucks ass, I'd rather be the nerdy queer art kid who went through the military but still says shit about the issues going on.

2. And yah there are plenty things I wouldn't do for money and yah everyone has their limits, and honestly yah thanks for challenging me. I really wouldn't have thought too deep into how I actually feel about the military I'd you hadn't. I don't think either of us are going to change the others mind but I also think that's fine we're all just ppl and we're all entitled to our own opinions. I think enlisting is a perfectly moral thing to do. I think more enlisted people should speak up because I know not all of them are happy with how things are going. I'd be damned if I don't speak up even after being in the service. I think it'd change some people's minds on some things seeing someone who was/is in the service speak out against it

3. Cool sorry for blaming you then, just assumed cuz they were all being sent at the same time with basically the same message, my apologies

4. Yah your right, and I hadn't thought about it like that. I know my nana did some stuff she says looking back she wouldn't have done it today no matter the order, but I think that's ppl, you do shit you regret, a lot of vets I know through my family say there's things they'd go back on, I know my family isn't perfect, but they're not monsters they're people. I also know my dad and great grandmother haven't killed anyone, I know my dad hates getting sent out there and recently switched over to protective software and a bunch of computer stuff I don't understand, I did far better in biology than I even did in computer science , like ik they've done fucked shit, but ppl do fucked shit all the time, sometimes yeah for the right reasons sometimes for the wrong ones. Best I can do is make my own damned decisions and hope when I'm old I made the world better not worse

5. Every military kills a whole lotta people, and it's not right but best you can do is be apart of the change, I think a whole lot of ppl who really shouldn't be in power are and if we had some more competent people we wouldn't have to use our military in the first place, and I'll be the first to say I'm ashamed the US isn't helping places like Palestine or Congo or Ukraine but being some civilian who can't even pay her bills isn't helping any more than me enlisting is

6. No your right, every job is important and it sucks that the us military is being used the way it is, but again, someone who's been in the service and is speaking out is a hella lot more useful than sum other civilian

7. Thank you, I will happily educate myself further when it's not 2 in the morning and I have a 7am shift, genuinely thank you I'm not trying to like be a bitch when I say that

[omshant]

Dude WHO are the slaves of 666, s&s, and g? Are they all already marked? Do you think it's possible they would all eventually just kill each other or kill themselves? Or do they want help? Do they want to repent and change their ways? How long would that take? Can they be forgiven? Can they be forgiven at this point? Can they be forgiven now? Do you think they are mostly or all of any particular race or faction? Do you think there are some scattered among all the races? I'm reflecting now on early December last year when I started clearing my mind and working with th Angels in clothing stores and hotel lobbies and stuff to get the g hoards/other oppressors/inferiors to clear out. That was so awesome. Oh my gosh. Idk dude I guess maybe you just kinda know. Or at least they know. I think they also may be repelled by me when I clear my mind. That's kind of like a super power dude! What else can I do? You guys gotta let me know. I don't trust my own perception(s) because I tend to trust everyone. I guess I'm just here to represent for the youth and All Black Lives (I think/I hope.. for sure.). and then Hindus, Hispanics seem cool to me now. Believers. Sare bambini aur unke aatmaein. I guess Asians.. definitely the Japanese. The other Asians seem kind of heartless to me. But maybe they're all/the smart ones are probably on our side because they know we're better. Still, Asians eat dogs tho. Also I always gotta s/o for Jews/God's people, Italia, Vikings and pirates. Dude, also, why is everyone so into the Russia-Ukraine conflict? And why does everyone support Ukraine? Is Ukraine objectively the good guys here? Maybe. Idk though. I don't know anything about it. And I don't get it. I guess Russia is landgrabbing? I just know that those people protesting outside my building are not nice. Also, Palestine? No. Dude this country seems flooded now with weak degenerates and infiltrators shilling for Gaza. I stand for Israel alone. Also, those people should not be bringing their kids to hold up signs to represent for Hamas. That's twisted. What else do people care about? I guess politics? Is Biden still our president? I want someone else. Or maybe no one. It's all lame/uninteresting to me. I guess I'm maybe conservative or moderate? But also definitely not a Republican. I'm also very sensitive, like Bløøds, and fragile, like STREETS. What's going on in Africa/SWAZILAND? Seems like most people don't care about that stuff. But I'm very curious. What do you guys think most Arabs are like besides intensely hating on queers/homos and Jews? I have so many more questions. But I don't feel like looking this stuff up. I also just don't know how much of the news is really fake news and what channels or sources to consider. I do have the NEWSREAL app.

'If you turn on TV, all you see's a bunch of 'what the fucks'

Dude is dating so and so, blabbering 'bout such and such

And that ain't Jersey Shore, homey, that's the news

And these the same people supposedly telling us the truth

Limbaugh is a racist, Glenn Beck is a racist

Gaza Strip was getting bombed, Obama didn't say shit.."

[hanna-water]

Part 4 “I’ll Be Fine”: Talk about Popculture, Druck and Gen Z Popkultur Festival Berlin 2022, wednesday 24.08.2022 with Eren M. Güvercin, Nhung Hoang, Naomi Bechert (social media team during s5 – s6, writer of s7 and s8) Moderated by Aidan Riebensahm Aidan & Naomi: (are having a long talk about how the series they watched in their youth were very different from Druck, mentioning OC California and 90210. Explaining that many millennials also enjoy watching Druck because they never had this kind of content when they grew up. Aidan mentioned that the Kieutou love story filled a lot of blank spaces for her, regarding queer representation.) Nhungi: One of the people in the audience was a writer of s6. (audience cheering) Uhm…what was the question? Aidan: I just wanted to say that I found it cool to watch that. (laughs) Nhungi: I also found it cool to play it. Especially for s6 it was important to me that this story is told the right way. And I was just very lucky. Sira is an awesome partner with whom I played it and we supported each other a lot and gave a lot of input. And we paid attention to small things. We call it the queer female gaze. That you pay attention to small things like hands or short glances. Like you said “blank spaces” which are not existing in a hetero normative style of filming. It was paid attention too very lovingly…in the scripts. (short silence) Eren: was that a question? (I assume the moderator looked at her) Aidan: I forgot what I wanted to ask. I was still so lost in…..how is the couple called? Eren: Kieutou. Kieutou! Aidan: That was my question. (laughs) Eren: So I was actually voting for “Fakieu”. I even was active in the comments and tried to manipulate it. Nhungi: He is the biggest stan. Aidan: using fake accounts for the youtube comments. Nhungi: “what, you said something against Kieutou?!” impersonating an angry Eren. (everyone laughs) Eren: I am really number one stan in Germany. Nhungi: Eren even stood at the set like “what happens now? Are they kissing, are they kissing?” Eren: 80% of the comments of the Fatou season where mine. Aidan: It really moved me in a good and sad way because I realized I never saw a couple with which I could identify in a german series before. But also the diversity in Druck does not lead to any structural changes. I also thought about the season in which you (Eren) played the mainrole and the title of todays talk kind of fits “I`ll be fine”. Yeah ok, I don´t think everything is solved with this but if I would have watched this content at a younger age a lot of processes would not have happened so late. But will you be fine? Eren: Well… Aidan: Let´s unpack. Eren: I don´t know I think this is one of the hardest questions that you can ask especially in the current time. I think its valid. Uhm I only know that at the moment there are so many things in this world that we need to pay attention too. Every generation has the bad luck that you don´t get born into a world that was made for you. And of course we also pave the way for the next generation but I find it difficult to have an impression of our generation, if there even is any. Because I have to think about climate change when I hear this question or about Ukraine and Russia or about many other conflicts like with the Uyghurs or Palestine/Israel. Now I just throw in all political conflicts that exist. Aidan: You are becoming the Internet right now. You are just showing all conflicts and bring then into one space. Eren: Yes exactly. But I don´t know. I don´t know. Nhungi: Well, when we spoke about the topic before this talk. I was like “ok, isn´t this a bit cynical?” because we are…. No we are not fine right now. And that’s somehow ok and just now when Eren spoke I thought, we have to try to navigate our own world. What moves me and what do I put my focus on? Because if we just absorb everything without filters then you quickly get depressed. And I answer to the question with: Yes we`ll be fine as long as we keep moving. And yeah trying to change things. Eren: I think optimism is very important at the moment. Not as a attitude but as a form of activism against the pessimism which kind of carries us all. Aidan: (talking about why pessimism can also give you strength because there is potential in saying “no its not good.”) Eren: I don´t mean that there is no validity to be pessimistic. I don´t want to start a general discussion about if this is ok or not. But I think its just very important to have hope in difficult times and even if you don´t have it, to fight for it. And especially if you are in a position where so many people listen to you. I know this from myself. Sometimes I don´t know how to handle it that so many people are following me on IG or are interested in me. I find it very weird to see that and to deal with it. I don´t want to use this the wrong way and make all of them think what I think, because then it would be very depressing. Then my account would only be black. I just know I definitely want to give positive energy and not in a pathetic way by saying “oh have a good life”. Nhungi: Not in a hedonistic way “we are all gonna die anyway” but trying to find something positive and getting your strength out of that. Because honestly, we could say everyday “ok life is shitty” there is climate change and this conflict and that one and everything is going to hell. But then we lose ourselves in this ugly nihilism where nothing makes sense. Instead we can say “shit, nothing makes sense, then I will just make the best out of it.” Eren: But I am asking myself if this is only our generation or if it was like that in the ´68s too. Nhungi: I don´t know... (apparently both looking at Aidan lol) Aidan: (pretents to be offended) you don´t have to ask me that! (everyone laughs) Eren: ok, ok, not your generation, I`m sorry. But I mean atomic wars were not unfamiliar to you. (short silence and then everyone is bursting into laughter). Nhungi: Eren! Eren: I mean you also have experienced things when you were young. Nhungi: the Great Depression?  (everyone laughs again and Eren added “I tried to save myself”) Aidan: What I can say is that that the older I get, the more relative time becomes. Eren it´s totally ok, its ok. I prepared myself for feeling very old after this panel today. So its fine. Eren: sorry. Aidan: No, no, no, no. I think I am in phase of my life now which aims at slowing down. I don’t spend much time on the internet. I have downloaded tiktok after finishing my master thesis. But I have a 15 minutes timer for the app. (talks about arriving in the “now” and slowing down)

[pettytiredandjewish]

@puregoldz666

Haha! No think you honey. I don’t think I’m gonna do that- my calendar is super full right now, so I’ll have to take a rain check :) oh and I never turned off replies soooo…

So I’m a wicked vile person because I actually care about everyone’s human rights… those same rights that are in danger to those living in the states (especially the red states)????? Or are you just mad cuz I’m calling groups out who fucked up this election??? Cuz a lot of y’all fucked this up (republicans/young men who are obsessed with Joe Rogan and his goons/TERFS/ the extreme religious groups/ democrats for getting too cocky/ and the pro Palestine and anti Zionist groups who have been telling many many people to not vote for Harris (to vote third party, vote trump, or just not vote)….) a lot of y’all share blame so I’m not sure why you are mad. And I’m pretty sure that I’ve mentioned this before but….

No one wanted this damn fucking war! We want it to be over and for all hostages to be freed. The Israelis are not their fucking government (and a whole lot of them hates their president sooo…). This war could have been prevented if Hamas (a fucking terrorist organization) never attacked. But look what happened…. Hamas fucked around and they found out. No one wanted this. Hell a lot of us “Zionist” Jews wants Palestine free- from fucking Hamas. With trump becoming president, that really fucks everything up. Palestine and Israel are screwed. And so is Ukraine (a lot of y’all seemed to forget what’s happening to Ukraine…) but they all aren’t the only ones screwed. Women, POC, LGBTQ, the disabled, etc- all of their rights (and mine cuz I’m queer, trans, and Jewish) are on the line. Heck some states (like mine) are already starting to fuck us up. Sooo…. Again not sure why you mad or why you think it’s cool to tell me to kms. If all of what I care for makes me a wicked vile person- then what does this make you??? Just curious :)

They called it… they fucking called it

To those who were eligible to vote but refused cuz of Harris- well congratulations! That orange fucker won. Hope you’re happy. Also don’t start bitching when all of our rights starts to get taken away (reproductive rights, LGBTQ rights, etc.) we fucking warned you. We warned you that if you didn’t vote then trump was more likely to win. Also you pulling this stunt- isn’t gonna help Palestine. Y’all claim that you are pro Palestine but after this election- you just proved that you really don’t give a damn about them. So congrats!

[kafkasmelomania]

June 5, 2021: American Queers by SuperKnova

*Bandcamp here

SuperKnova is SO cool. Did you know that she not only writes all her songs and records all of her songs completely by herself but also taught herself how to produce and master music so that she could have total creative control? That’s really impressive! What’s also cool about her is that she’s setting an example for people who feel like outsiders in the music scene, especially queer people of color. She talks about that in this article, which is really good and something that you should definitely read:

Only now, as SuperKnova, Ellie is beginning to finally overcome the impostor syndrome that influenced her artistic confidence for the majority of her professional life. “I had a degree in music and I still felt like I wasn’t a real musician”, she looks back on her younger self. Today, Ellie strives to create “more of these media images, the ones [she] never had growing up” in all of her work.

She also discusses why she wants to be a role model in this article:

She also said her art is intentional. She hopes to make the kind of art she needed but never found in the world while younger. Whereas other artists might balk at a role model designation, Kim somewhat embraces it, or at least embraces the responsibility, actions, and intentions of someone set on giving voice to populations often ignored.

“Half of what I do as SuperKnova is create interesting, creative music. But I want to create the art I wish I had growing up as a closeted trans teenager growing up in a transphobic community, to be like queer therapy,” Kim said. “I never started this to be some mainstream thing like Justin Bieber or Ariana Grande. I want to make the art for my community and then if people outside of the community like it, great. If not, they don't need to listen to it.”

Also! She has a Tumblr! You can follow her at @superknovamusic.

Because it’s Pride Month:

Here’s some queer history from around the world, not just the United States.

Here are some LGBTQIA+ GoFundMe campaigns: Rent Fund For Black LGBT Family, Help Roze get somewhere safe (Non-Binary LGBTQ), Survival and Gender Affirming Needs for Black Enby, College Fund for a Black Trans Woman, Tito’s top surgery and recovery fund, Omi’s Transition Fund: Health, Housing, & Security, Help Emmett Pay for Emergency Surgery

If you’d like to get involved with stopping the atrocities against Palestine, here’s where you can start (text in bold for readability):

This Carrd is full of information, petitions, and places to donate.

Here are some organizations to which you can donate. This post now includes a list of corporations to boycott.

Here is some information about the Palestinian Children’s Relief Fund and a list of other organizations.

Decolonize Palestine has an FAQ about Palestine here.

This is a list of actions you can take (somewhat UK-specific). This is a reading list of texts with more background information.

UK petitions: This is a petition for the UK government to formally recognize the State of Palestine. This is a petition to introduce sanctions against Israel. This is a petition to condemn Israel for their treatment of Palestine and Palestinians.

Here’s the Wikipedia overview of the current iteration of the crisis.

If you’re curious about the United States’s involvement: this is a report about U.S. foreign aid to Israel. This is the Wikipedia page for Palestine-United States relations and this is the Wikipedia page for Israel-United States relations.

Here are some perspectives from on the ground in Gaza. This is also explains why spreading the Palestinian point of view. is so important.

This is one Jewish person’s explanation of the conflation of Jewish identity with the modern Israeli state. They mention the Nakba, which is important – per Wikipedia, “the Nakba, […] also known as the Palestinian Catastrophe, was the destruction of Palestinian society and homeland in 1948, and the permanent displacement of a majority of the Palestinian people.”

This Vox video gives a brief overview of the conflict from its inception until the present day, although it’s from 2016, so it’s not entirely up to date. This CrashCourse video does the same, and I think it’s actually a little better than the Vox video because within the first minute they shut down everyone who claims that this is a religious conflict. That video is also not entirely up to date, as it is from 2015.

This post has some resources with information about the history of Palestine, Israel’s occupation of Palestine, and updates about the current situation.

Do you like podcasts? Here are some podcast episodes about Palestine.

Here are some miscellaneous resources for helping Palestine.

Black lives matter and here are some ways you can get involved in the  fight against racism, specifically anti-black racism (text in bold for readability):  

This Linktree and this Carrd are full of ways to confront and fight against anti-black racism: places to donate, advice for protesting, educational resources.

This post is specifically about Daunte Wright and how to help his family. This is Daunte Wright’s memorial fund.

The  Minnesota Freedom Fund is doing good work, and since so many people have been recognizing that work and donating to them, they ask that you  instead donate to Families Supporting Families Against Police Violence, the Racial Justice Network, Communities United Against Police Brutality, the Minneapolis NAACP, the Council on American-Islamic Relations in Minneapolis, and the Black Immigrant Collective. You can also donate to the Bail Project, which operates in multiple states.

Other organizations to which you can donate are the Black Trans Advocacy Coalition, the NAACP, the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, the Okra Project, the Solutions Not Punishment Collaborative, For The Gworls, G.L.I.T.S., the Marsha P. Johnson Institute, the Black Trans Travel Fund, the Sylvia Rivera Law Project, and the Black Trans Femmes in the Arts Collective.

GoFundMe: Justice for Breonna Taylor, In Memory of Jamarion Robinson, Rent Fund For Black LGBT Family, Esperanza Spalding’s BIPOC Artist Sanctuary, Survival and Gender Affirming Needs for Black Enby

(via https://open.spotify.com/album/3HAKCGSBK2CdNR94iSKMLS?si=ifgUe8PhQrC8Q4ipuGqGqQ)

[morningsound15]

i seem to remember you giving some podcast recs that i wanted to check out, but for some reason i can't find them on your blog anymore. am i mistaken? if not, do you think you could repeat them?

omg hi! sorry tumblr was NOT showing me any asks i’m really sorry idk when you sent this but yes! i love this question i love podcasts, and i think i’ve rec’d a few individual episodes? but i’ve definitely not made a whole post so i’m so down for this

idk what sorts of podcasts you listen to but i basically divide my podcasts into shit i listen to for education (leftist podcasts, news podcasts, etc,) and shit i listen to to keep myself sane (pop culture/movie/music podcasts, gay podcasts, tv recap podcasts of shows i used to watch) so i’m gonna give you a lot! basically my whole podcast queue list lol

i’ll link you to their online pages (if they have some! either youtube or a digital library) but most of them are on spotify i believe, a lot of these podcasts also have patreons and i personally listen to all of them through apple podcasts\

(under the cut because it’s LONG hope this helps!)

shit for education:

in a clump right off the top:

-- Revolutionary Left Radio - #1 essential listening for people interested in socialism, leftism, communism, marxism-leninism, etc. current events analyzed with leftist theory, great interviews, honest perspectives from organizers.

-- Red Menace - featuring the host of Rev Left, a podcast that mainly deep dives into leftist theory and texts (specifically marxist-leninist theory, but also mao, fanon, stalin, etc.) if you are new to theory and have trouble tackling difficult texts, this is the podcast for you

-- Guerrilla History - from the host of Rev Left, a podcast that looks at revolutionary uprisings from the perspective of those on the ground, using the past to help make sense of the present

and then some others:

-- 5-4 - "A podcast where we dissect and analyze the Supreme Court decisions that have made this country –by a wide margin– the worst country in the world" all about the us supreme court and the decisions that keep us strangled. great legal analysis highly recommend for people who care about the courts

-- Bad Faith - featuring former bernie sanders press secretary briahna joy gray and chapo trap house host (i know guys i know) virgil texas, this is a more accessible introduction to thinking outside of the american political binary. for people who liked bernie and need to figure out where to go next, this podcast might be helpful, or it just might feed your petty soul

-- Citations Needed - if you only listen to one american news podcast, let it be this one. with a focus on american news and how our news industry manipulates us into supporting imperialism and mass death

-- Death Panel - on pop culture and politics, particularly focusing on the healthcare industry in america and why it’s designed to kill all of us.

-- Decolonized Buffalo (youtube) - with a focus on decolonial theory and current events

-- IT’S GOING DOWN - with a focus on revolutionary anarchist, anti-fascist, anti-capitalist grassroots revolts and social movements across north america.

-- Millennials Are Killing Capitalism - i really recommend everyone follow the host of this podcast josh briond (@ jos.hau on insta and @ queersocialism on twitter) because they have been fundamental to my personal journey into leftist literature, their podcast is incredible and their pop culture takes are always fire. interviews, theory, essential takes on the news.

-- Moderate Rebels (podcast / youtube) - if you want to learn about international news/foreign policy from an anti-imperialist source, Moderate Rebels is the best recommendation i can give you. greyzone reporters Max Bluementhal and Ben Norton host a weekly news podcast that is essential listening if you want to understand what it is to live in the core of the world’s imperialist center

-- Radical Reflections - for an international perspective on revolutionary history, from a comrade based in scotland

-- The Black Sublime Podcast - for a black, queer perspective on pop culture, politics, oppression, and liberation

-- The East is a Podcast - for a perspective on leftist theory, history, and revolutionary movements centering people from the (quote unquote) ‘east’. recent episodes cover such topics as (including but not limited to) china, india, paul robeson, war, decolonization, palestine, iran, tunisia, and strongly centering muslim writers, thinkers and scientists

-- The Minyan - jewish comrades! (specifically marxist-leninist)

-- The Red Nation Podcast -- indigenous comrades (mostly in north america - USA/Canada). essential listening for anyone living in emperial/colonial powerhouses in north america. The Red Nation also has great educational resources

-- Useful Idiots - standard news podcast from people much smarter than me who hate the political establishment almost as much as i do. they have some really good interview episodes

-- Working Class History - some really cool episodes on important events in working class history! great episode on The Exotic Dancer’s Union aka the first stripper co-op in america

shit for sanity/fun:

-- Bad Romance Podcast - comedians jourdain searles and bronwyn isaac watch terrible romantic comedies and then tell you all about them

-- Buffering the Vampire Slayer - THE buffy rewatch podcast! they’re deep into season 6 at this point, but features great (gay!) content, buffy analysis, excellent guests, interviews with the original cast, and an original song every episode based on that episode. this podcast brings me only joy

-- Girls on Porn - a porn review podcast featuring only ethically-made porn, tackling kink, fetishization, racism in the porn industry, and so much more

-- GLEEwind - don’t judge me lol i like recap podcasts and this one has the right amount of fun with the right amount of will schuester hate

-- How Did This Get Made? - funny people (and great actors) Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael and Jason Mantzoukas watch truly awful movies and then talk all about it

-- Keep It! - for everything in music, tv and celebrity culture featuring Ira Madison III, Louis Virtel, and Aida Osman. great interviews, always makes me laugh

-- Las Culturistas - bowen yang and matt rogers’ weekly culture podcast, also featuring great interviews and a lot of survivor talk

-- Popcast - i don’t like the NYT but i do sometimes like their music podcast, they review new shit, big shit, and all the shit you might be hearing about from the music world

-- Still Processing - again, do not like the NYT but DO like what jenna wortham and wesley morris have to say about what’s happening in the world

-- The Big Picture - another movie podcast! this one features great interviews with actors and directors, as well as takes on popular movies that i generally agree with (although way too much love for marvel movies for me)

-- Why Won’t You Date Me? - nicole beyer’s hilarious podcast where she talks to other comedians about their dating woes. surprisingly heart-felt, always hilarious

[hummussexual]

This year, Ramadan–the ninth month of the Islamic year, in which observant Muslims fast to commemorate the revelation of the Quran–happens to coincide with most of Gay Pride month. Quiet as it’s kept, there are uncounted numbers of queer Muslims in the gay community. One of them is Izzadine Mustafa.

Izzadine was born 25 years ago in Albuquerque, New Mexico. His father, a Palestinian Muslim, and his mother, a white Christian, raised him and his two brothers Muslim. They also raised Izzadine female, but when he was 21 and in college, he came out as a transgender man and began, he says, to reinvent himself. He’d always wanted to live in New York, so he got a job at the Institute for Middle East Understanding, based in Brooklyn. Izzy’s now here; he’s queer; and–with due journalistic objectivity–he’s slightly awesome. I started by asking him what it’s like, combining Ramadan with Gay Pride.

IM: Ramadan is a way for me to reflect and recenter myself, and Pride is a month when I’m surrounded by queers and we make community from that. Muslims break our daily fast at dinners called iftars. So it’s been really cool, attending iftars with other queer Muslims, celebrating Ramadan as well as Pride month.

SD: How did your parents meet?

IM: My dad grew up in the occupied West Bank, in a village near Nablus called Jama’in. He got a scholarship to a school in Washington DC, but then he lost it. He couldn’t afford much, so he found the University of New Mexico, which is the cheapest school in the country. He studied business management and actually met my mom in Arabic class. He wanted an easy A and my mom, who’s from Texas, wanted to learn Arabic.

SD: Tell me about being a trans organizer.

IM: It’s really important for me say that I’m a transgender man. Part of the reason I’m out-loud about my trans-ness is that, even within leftist and liberal spaces, trans folk are not that common. There’s lots of stereotyping and ignorance around who we are. Also, I come to the trans community with a lot of privilege, in that I’m a masculine transgender man. I pass. I walk through the world and people don’t recognize that I’m trans. So I have a lot to learn from the trans community.

I want to be there, especially for young trans people. When I make public that I’m transgender, Muslim, and Palestinian, I get lots of messages from trans kids who are Muslim and struggling with their identity. It’s important for me to show them that it’s going to be OK, you know?

SD: What do you think you bring to Islam as a trans person?

IM: Perspective. Being a trans man, I understand both gender roles. I’m not blinded by the arrogance and entitlement that societies instill in boys at an early age. I’m hoping to bring to the Muslim community the message not to sweep these issues under the rug. Muslims are so diverse; we’re not a monolith. There are many Muslim communities throughout the world that accept trans folks. I hope all Muslims can see that there are trans and queer Muslims, and that’s OK–because there’s now this global resurgence of white supremacy raining down on everybody. But we’re all in this together. My main mission–why I do this work–is not only for my people but for the collective liberation of everybody.

Izzadine Mustafa. (Photo: Courtesy of Izzadine Mustafa)

SD: And do you think celebrating Gay Pride is liberating?

IM: Pride is when LGBTQ people express themselves; it’s a momentous month. But the reality is that Pride is giving more and more space to groups who oppress people, such as the NYPD, the Israeli military, such as politicians who honestly don’t care about many LGBTQ lives.

In 2013, I went to the New York City Pride Parade – my first since I came out as queer, trans. I was carrying a sign that said, “Don’t Pinkwash Israeli Apartheid.” And a man from the Israeli LGBTQ contingent came up and started yelling, “You’re a terrorist supporter, you’re a terrorist!” Then he spit in my face.

SD: Why were you carrying that sign at a Pride march?

IM: I felt it was important because pinkwashing is one of the things I’m passionate about as a Palestinian trans person and part of the queer community. Pinkwashing is a way the Israeli government covers up the occupation and its human rights abuses against the Palestinian people, my people.

For instance, there’s this campaign called Brand Israel that tries to make Israel look like a gay haven. They say, “LGBT folks of the world, come to Israel. We have a huge Pride; we offer acceptance.” They go to college campuses and queer communities and say things like, “Palestinians don’t accept queer people; they’ll kill you.” This is basically an Israeli far rightwing government, saying they’re LGBTQ-friendly. But when I go home to Palestine, the Israelis don’t see me as LGBTQ; they see me as a Palestinian–and they’re really racist about it.

What Palestinian queers say is, “Of course there’s anti-LGBTQ sentiment in Palestine. Just like in America and all over the world–even in Israel.” I, as a Palestinian trans person, do not want a government giving us legitimacy when it’s used to justify the oppression of my people.

SD: So you’ve actually been to Palestine and Israel?

IM: I grew up in a very white, middle-class neighborhood. But as my dad says, “To know where you’re going, you have to know where you’re coming from.” So when I was nine years old, my parents started sending me and my brothers to the West Bank village where my dad’s family lives. After that, we would go almost every summer, partly to help out my grandmother; partly to see there was more to life than growing up in a cozy American neighborhood.

The first time I went, it was around 1999, before the second Intifada. I would see barbed wire, checkpoints, soldiers, everyone speaking two different languages. It was shocking for me and confusing because here I am, used to just hanging out on the playground with friends. But it was also good to bond with my cousins, who were around my age, and I got really close to my grandmother. As I got into my teenage years, I started to understand the full scope of the occupation.

I’d return to school in August and start debates with my teachers about Palestine. I’m of the 9/11 generation, so there were constant conversations about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the war on terrorism. Palestine would be thrown in, in history class, even in English classes, so I would challenge my teachers on their bigoted statements. In my junior year in high school, I was the newspaper editor and I ran a few pieces on Palestine. Each time I got in trouble.

SD: Why did people object?

IM: Point blank, because many people subscribed to the ideology that Israel should be a land for Jews only. They saw me as challenging that, even though the majority of my friends were of the Jewish faith.

I remember in middle school going to all the bar mitzvahs. Then in high school our friendships started changing. There was this program that would send Jewish kids to Israeli high school for a semester and they would learn how to train in the army. They’d come back and we’d get into these extensive arguments, concluding we couldn’t be friends. I’d say, “You want to join in on the oppression of my family? I’m not going to stand for that.”

SD: What’s queer activism like in Palestine?

IM: There are a number of Palestinian organizations in Israel and the West Bank that work on sexual and gender diversity. There’s Al Qaws, which provides services to queers, and counters Israel’s message that Palestinian queers don’t exist. They also say, “We don’t support this occupation.” And there’s this Facebook page called “Pink Watching Israel,” which is a committee of Palestinian queers and allies. Gaza is a separate situation because they’re under siege, so it’s harder to express any kind of freedom there.

SD: There are about 6,000 Palestinian political prisoners, and I recently read news accounts about some going on hunger strike.

IM: We called it the Dignity Strike. For forty days, about 1,500 Palestinian political prisoners refused to eat. And they won. In Palestine, everyone knows somebody who’s been or is now in Israeli prisons. One in four Palestinian men have been imprisoned in their lives. You have 500 to 700 children prosecuted in Israeli military courts. Kids as young as eight years old are sent to prison. Israel will kidnap a child from their home during a night raid and take them to prison. Their parents have no idea where they are or what’s happening to them. So this was a hunger strike for the most basic demands, like family visitation rights. And the children won better access to see a lawyer and their parents.

I wasn’t involved in the organizing, but I tried to push it into the media. The hunger strike, like the Boycott, Divest, and Sanction movement, used nonviolent tactics to pressure Israel to respect our basic human rights. What this strike did was to galvanize people; to unify Palestinians across Gaza, Israel, and the West Bank. It’s a long time since that happened. It’s the prisoners, we hope, who will unify us as a people.

SD: Has prison affected your family?

IM: One of my uncles deals with mental health issues because of the torture he got when he was 18, 19 years old. He was arrested for participating in demonstrations during the first Intifada and was in prison for years, beginning as a teenager. Every time I go home to my village, there’s always a celebration for somebody who spent years in prison and is just coming home. It’s like a weekly occurrence.

SD: Is there anything that inspires you in all this?

IM: Movements toward justice and liberation. Like the Movement for Black Lives, Standing Rock, and Black Lives Matter. I’ve also noticed there’s been a resurgence of people working on rights for undocumented immigrants, for women’s rights, LGBTQ rights. We seem to be coming together around issues that connect but also separate us. I’m seeing cross-movement building and so many people willing to learn about the occupation of Palestine. I also think there are more young Palestinians who are no longer silent. Growing up, lots of us would hear from our parents, “Don’t talk about Palestine,” for fear of repercussions. Now, there’s young, fearless Palestinians in Students for Justice in Palestine, the Palestine Youth Movement, and a few organizations like Jewish Voice for Peace and Black Solidarity with Palestine. We’re working hand-in-hand, saying, “We’re not afraid.”

Also more people are seeing that the Arab and the Muslim worlds are not the enemy – our enemies are those who try to pit us against each other. So there’s things to be inspired by in this dark, dark time.

SD: How was coming out to your family?

IM: I was worried at first, because growing up in this country, you mostly hear stories of families disowning kids. So I went into it hoping for the best and expecting the worst. But when I came out to my parents, they were actually accepting and welcoming. It took my mom a little longer because she was like, “Oh, I’m losing a daughter.” But I’m their son, now. And when my dad told my grandmother in Palestine about me being trans, she was like, “Amazing! I have a third grandson!”

You know, I’m not the most religious person. I don’t pray five times a day, I don’t go to the mosque often. But something that has grounded me in Islam is the idea of embodying God, right? Or trying to. Compassion, being good to people and to living things. What’s kept me going are those values of love, patience, and good deeds. Yeah.

[cornwaiidesu]

also not that it matters but I will specify that I've considered myself agnostic for years and years now, but I grew up christian so I can't help but be superstitious about some things. I still believe in hell but that's probably more because of self-loathing and depression reasons. that I deserve what's coming to me and stuff, blah blah blah.

my mother's side of the family are very religious and that's why I felt I was when I was younger but none of it was because I liked any of the ideas, it was all fear based. that my family wouldn't accept me and that I'd go to hell, like I said. I was baptized in like 6th or 7th grade. I was pretty serious for a while, even though I've known since I was a kid that I'm queer. I just kind of earmuffed those parts and would roll my eyes at my mom cuz BEING QUEER IS FUN.

with the war going on now, my grandmother implied to me last week that I need to get baptized again because she thinks I wasn't seriously committed when I did as a kid. which is insulting and ironic! ₍⁠₍⁠ ⁠◝⁠(⁠　ﾟ⁠∀⁠ ﾟ⁠ ⁠)⁠◟⁠ ⁠⁾⁠⁾

tonight my dad was telling me stories about when he was a ranger and how he'd beat people's heads in with his rifle and watch on the news about conflicts starting in other countries and laughing because he knew it was him and his battalion that caused them. and I told him to stop because honestly, I don't really like knowing my dad has killed people. ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ I don't like that he thinks it's cool to be violent.

he had a stroke in 2020 and his personality has changed so much. he goes off on racist and homophobic and sexist tangents and thinks it's so funny, that he's telling it like it is when really he's fucking embarrassing. not that black people can't be racist but fuck me if it doesn't look fucking STUPID. you're gonna tell your black daughter you wish you could punch black women in the face because all they do is bitch? that all the African cna's at the nursing home are fucking monkeys that need to learn English?

all of this to say that tonight with the national address I said I was gonna go home because I didn't want to listen to biden. and dad asked 'you don't side with Palestine so you?" and I am the first to admit I am not fucking educated on this stuff because I DO know that it's all complicated. and all I said is that. "I know that it's complicated." and that motherfucker had the nerve to ask me "why do you hate Jews?" says the man that before has YELLED an antisemitic joke over and over again just to make me mad before. because all I asked was for him to stop, he kept saying it louder and louder like a fucking toddler. and he's gonna put words in my mouth like that.

but truly the kicker was him telling me I need to educate myself about all of this.......... by reading the fucking bible. the man that relishes how ruthless and disgusting he was in the army. I need to stop reading the news and read the bible and then I'll understand cuz it's "not that easy". does he even fucking listen to himself?

"don't get mad"

"no I am mad because you're talking to me like I'm stupid"

"no I'm not."

yes. you talking to me like I'm dumb arrogant teenager who thinks she's "right about everything" (his own words when I said I don't like a Tim Allen TV show but I digress) when I'm 33 fucking years old and I know how to fucking read the news and articles and listen and comprehend things other than fucking fox news.

I'm clearly very angry at my dad. 🙃 this was a bit of a vent post because my sister kind of gave up listening to me like she tends to do now because she doesn't have the capacity to care, which I don't blame her. that's fair. stilllowkeyannoyingnegl.

no. I'm not gonna quick get baptized because the rapture is coming cuz ITS FUCKING NOT. ITS FUCKING STUPID. THERE ARE LITERALLY SO MANY OTHER CONTRIBUTING FACTORS TO THE WORLD ENDING. and for my grandmother and my father, which neither of them even like each other that's the other irony of all of this, both of them to tell me to read an old stupid fucking book so I can know what's going on currently at this very moment because I'm too dumb to understand otherwise?

fuck off with that. byeeeee.

I officially renounce christianity :P