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#‘you’re almost old’ took me out 💀
moodyvoid · 13 days
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You're almost old and you're still simping for Dabi, Shigaraki, Hawks. You're so pathetic. You literally have no life. Its no wonder you'll never get a husband or have kids. No man will ever want a creature like you.
I read this dramatically out loud to my husband and it gave us a good laugh.
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What is soft launch? (Carlos Sainz)
Part one
Summary: Max Verstappen’s ex girlfriend moves on with none other than Ferrari’s Carlos Sainz and they’ve managed to keep their relationship under wraps until now. | part two |
Type: Insta au
Face Claim: Cindy Kimberly
Pairing: Carlos Sainz x fem!reader x Ex!boyfriend Max Verstappen
Warning: just a little fluff, cute Carlos.
This is in connection to Fallen Petals 😊
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Liked by CarlosSainz55, Yourbff, Lewis Hamilton and others
YourUsername Looking at you🌷
Comments
Yourbff my bestie is so pretty
Yourusername like you🙈
Yourbff If you don’t shut up
YourUsername so aggressive!
Yourbff only because I miss you🙄
GigiHadid slaying
YourUsername learned from youuuu
WinnieHarlow 😍😍
Username Carlos been all up in her likes lately👀
Username I noticed that too omg
Username Max really fumbled Y/N fr
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Liked by YourUsername,LandoNorris,MaxVerstappen1 and others
CarlosSainz55 Viéndote a ti ❤️‍🔥 (looking at you)
Comments
LandoNorris I know who you’re looking at 👀
CarlosSainz55 shhhhh landito
Username who is he looking at Lando??
Username not lando lowkey outing him
DanielRicciardo thanks for the invite mate 😤
CarlosSainz55 Next time!
LandoNorris me three 🫣
Username Are Y/N and Carlos on the same boat😳😳
Username And both in Italy at the same time omg
Username She was my favorite wag
Username Carlos really translated her caption into Spanish lmao
Username Not Max liking this 💀
——
YourUsername posted on her story
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Replies
CarlosSainz55 You deserve that and more baby🌹
YourUsername Thank you for the flowers handsome 🥰
Yourbff Godddd he’s so smitten with you I love it!
YourUsername He better be, it’s been almost a year lol
Username About time you move on from Max
Username You deserve them 🥹
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Liked by CarlosSainz55, CharlesLeclerc, LandoNorris and others
YourUsername Ending summer break in Italy ❤️‍🩹
Comments
Yourbff bring back the cat
YourUsername he ran away after we took the picture😭😭
Charlottesiine love seeing you so happy❤️
YourUsername thank you lovely, see you soon ☺️
Charlottesiine Can’t wait!
CharlesLeclerc you don’t even get this excited about seeing me??
Charlottesiine 🫣😶
CarlosSainz55 🌹
Comment liked by YourUsername
Username things are adding up Carlitos 😳
F1Wags Are we getting our favorite wag back?
Username but this time in red it seems
Username it might not even be him
Username it’s definitely him🤨
Username But can we talk about how Y/N has the whole grid in her likes 🙃
Username how come even the back of his head looks so good???
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CarlosSainz55 posted on his story
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Replies
LandoNorris Is this a soft launch?
CarlosSainz55 what is a soft launch?
LandoNorris 😑😑
YourUsername we’re really soft launching hehehe
CarlosSainz55 Amor what is soft launch?
YourUsername You’re old
CarlosSainz55 I’m still in my 20s 😐
CharlesLeclerc about time😳
CarlosSainz55 Can you tell me what is soft launch?
CharlesLeclerc how should I know? 💀
CarlosSainz55 gee thanks mr.inchident
DanielRicciardo mate is that Y/N?
CarlosSainz55 uh…yes?
DanielRicciardo Max is gonna have a field day lmao but congrats, you’ve got a good one!
CarlosSainz55 His loss🤷‍♂️ And thank you Danny!
TO BE CONTINUED
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Part two coming soon! I couldn’t fit more pictures, 10 is the limit 😭😭😭 Also this is my first insta au so I know it’s not that great, but I really enjoyed making it.
P.S. this is in connection to Fallen Petals (which I’m almost done writing the second part) because if y’all thought I would just let Y/N suffer while Max was unfaithful girllll no 😤
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hllywdwhre · 6 months
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My Darling Boy
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Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Irish!fem!reader
Summary: Tommy’s late night leads to you comforting him and a recount of the first time you realized you loved him.
Warnings: Panic attacks, reader faces anti-Irish sentiment from a stranger, Tommy says some questionable things about the Irish but nothing too bad💀, violence, bar fight. Let me know if I missed any!
Word Count: 2.8K
Notes: This was 100% inspired by @red-write-hand ‘s Tommy bot. My god do I love that thing and fluff it gives me. I tried keeping this as reader friendly as possible, but some details had to be added to fit the plot, such as reader being Irish.
Edit: This has not been proofread and YIKES. Sorry for all the errors😭
Flashbacks are italicized!
You stared at the clock on your wall that read 2:07 AM. Tommy was supposed to be in bed three hours ago. It was your agreement. He could work as late as he wanted as long as he ate all three meals with you and came to bed at 11. The resolve had come almost a year ago when you’d finally told him you, his wife, felt like second place to his work.
But here it was. 2AM, your bed felt cold without him there, and this was the third time this week that he hadn’t come to bed on time.
You tried not to argue with him. He had enough stress with work and you didn’t want to be a source of more stress, but you had his same quick temper and you couldn’t deny that you were more than irritated that he was seemingly back to his old ways of ignoring your agreement.
You made your way down the hall and to his office, leaning against the door frame.
Tommy spoke before you could, “I know what you’re about to say.”
The exhaustion in his voice and the way he looked… defeated immediately caused a change of heart in you, though.
“My darling boy,” you said in a soft voice, making sure to use the pet name you had for him to try and avoid him thinking you were there for an argument.
“Don’t ‘my darling boy’ me,” he replied immediately with a bite in his tone, “Not when you’re here to start an argument with me. What time is it?”
You’d known Tommy since he came back from The Great War. You knew more than well enough by now to not take his words to heart when he was like this. He was taking his anger out on you, whether you deserved it or not.
You had blinded men and taken their tongues using the bladed Peaky Blinders cap for speaking to you the way Tommy was speaking to you, but Tommy was your soft spot. Somehow, you always remained calm when it came to Tommy.
You made your way over to his desk and picked up the empty whiskey glass that was next to a stack of papers that littered his desk.
“It’s 2 in the morning, my love,” you replied in a calm voice. You walked over to the fireplace where his bottle of whiskey sat and refilled the glass then placed it on the desk again.
He picked it up as soon as you set it down and took a long drink from it.
“I have work, you know that. The business doesn’t run itself.” He took another swallow of the liquid and you could see the way his breathing had picked up slightly.
It started to make sense in that moment. You knew Tommy as well as he knew you and as well as you knew yourself. You knew the signs of one of his panic attacks beginning and stepped between him and his desk.
“I know that. I’m not mad at you, darling,” you replied after a moment. You made sure to keep your voice the steady and calm tone you knew he needed at the moment as you spoke. “Can you look at me?”
Tommy took a deep breath before looking up at you and you could see the thin sheen of sweat on his forehead along with the way his eyes seemed unable to focus on you. You lifted your hand to his cheek and gently ran your thumb across it in a slow motion.
“What’s your full name?” You asked him. The questions you would ask him changed from time-to-time so he wouldn’t get too used to them. They were simple questions, enough to distract him and get him to focus on you, but not enough to send him into a further panic.
“Thomas Michael Shelby, why?” He raised the glass to his lips again, but his breathing only picked up more.
You took the glass from his hand and set it on the desk behind you then placed his hand on your chest, right where you knew he would be able to feel your heartbeat.
“Focus on my breathing and my voice. What’s John’s wife’s name?” You asked him next.
You watched as he closed his eyes and did as you said, trying to match his breathing to yours as you began taking slower and deeper breaths.
“Esme,” he answered after a moment.
“When’s our wedding anniversary?” You asked next.
”The 17th of August.”
You knew it was silly, but you couldn’t help the blush that rose to your cheeks at how quickly and easily he answered that question. It was the little things like that which reminded you that you were still his number one priority.
“Can you look at me again?” You asked him once you noticed his breathing had calmed down.
Tommy looked to you, his blue eyes immediately finding your eyes and locking onto them. The corner of his mouth tilted into a small smirk and you returned it with a small smile of your own.
“I love you,” you told him as you crawled into his lap and pulled him into a hug, trying to help ground him more.
He immediately returned your hug and buried his head into your neck. Your hands instinctively rose to the back of his head and gently ran your nails across the shaved part of it.
“I love you, too. Even when I’m a mess,” he replied quietly.
“You’re not a mess,” you argued immediately, “you’re my amazing husband, an amazing business leader, an amazing member of parliament, and the strongest person I’ve ever met.”
A sigh left his lips after a long moment and his head remained buried in your neck. His breathing was no longer panicked and he had relaxed into your hold completely.
“I don’t deserve you,” he muttered into your neck.
“Funny,” you said with a chuckle, “I think the same thing of me.” You moved your head enough so you could kiss his temple. “Love you with all my heart, Thomas Shelby. You’re my darling boy.”
As soon as the pet name left your lips, he was chuckling into your neck. It was one anyone else would be maimed for calling him, but somehow you saying it had won him over.
“Love you, too,” he murmured in response.
After a couple long minutes of the two of you curled into each other, and once you were sure he wouldn’t panic speaking of it, you asked him,
“What led to it?”
He immediately knew what you were asking and shook his head in your neck,
“Nothing,” he replied in a defeated voice.
You pulled back enough to cause him to raise his head and she the quirked brow you were giving him,
“Thomas Shelby, what do you tell me every time I try to say the same thing?”
Any time you tried to belittle your problems, Tommy was the one who was telling you that if it was causing you troubles, then it wasn’t nothing and it was worth talking about.
He grumbled something under his breath about using his own words against him and then finally answered.
“The bloody Irish,” he said loud enough for you to hear.
You couldn’t stop the giggle that left your lips. You knew Tommy knew better than to think she was laughing at him or her problems; you were simply laughing at the irony of it all.
“What have my people done now?” You asked, purposefully making your accent come out as thick as possible to pick on him.
“Made an illegal shipment without our say so,” Tommy replied and you could hear the smile in his voice.
“Well… we’ve never liked to obey the English. I think my ancestors are rolling in their graves at how soft I am with you,” you teased, hoping to get at least a chuckle out of him.
It worked and you could feel the way his body shook the slightest bit as the small laugh left him,
“You’re not soft, darling, you’re just civilized,” he teased in return.
You pulled away with a look of mock offense on your face,
“Hey, now! My people are very civilized, we just know how to have fun,” you told him.
You know Tommy held no actual disdain towards you or your Irish blood. He himself was part Irish. He only spoke this way around you to get under your skin and pick on you.
“If you call bar fights being civilized then sure, darling.” The smirk on his face told you he was still only teasing you.
You scrunched up your nose as you looked at him,
“Maybe not your strongest point, love. I’ve come home with a black eye from an English bar fight where, for once, I was genuinely an innocent bystander and I had to keep you from going after half of Small Heath,” you pointed out.
Tommy’s face immediately darkened at the memory of that night and he tried to stutter out some defense of how it was different, but you shook your head no.
“You know that was the night I realized I loved you?” You told him as your own version of the memories flitted through your mind and you tried to distract him from the darker thoughts of his mind.
Your words seemed to catch him off guard and he looked up at you with surprise written on his features.
“Really?” He asked, unsure how else to reply.
You nodded in response and you felt another deep blush creep onto your cheeks. One thing you and Tommy had in common was that vulnerability didn’t come natural to you.
“Would you care to know how I remember that night?” You asked to which he nodded. “It was after a day of shopping with Ada and Esme. You and I had been together for three months at that point, and Ada and Esme were sure we were going to end up getting married, so they wanted to make sure I knew I was part of the family.”
You knew he knew all of this, but you wanted to tell him the whole story of how you had come to the realization and what had happened leading up to the fight.
”After we were done shopping, Esme had John meet us up at The Garrison so we could all have a drink.”
The three of you stumbled through the doors of the pub, giggling over something Ada had said.
John motioned the three of you over to the table he was sitting at, already having ordered a round of drinks for you. It was the first time you had sat outside of the private room the Shelbys had, and the last.
In the middle of the three of you telling John about the new dress Ada had bought, someone who’d had one too many drinks came stumbling over.
“I don’t get you Shelbys. You serve your country in the war then associate with some Irish scum,” he spat out, motioning from John to you.
You had met the other Shelbys while Arthur, Tommy, and John were in France. Polly had needed a bookkeeper for the betting shop and had taken you, even vouching for you when they had returned. After a year of working with them, one incident where you had been used as bait that had gone too far, and you’d been forced to defend yourself, Tommy had decided to make you an official Peaky Blinder. You may not wear your Peaky cap, but the bladed item was also on you. Offers had been made to hide blades in other women’s items of clothing, but you had denied. You had learned how to hide the cap among scarves, shawls, or in your bags and you wanted the official Peaky Blinders symbol.
John had immediately jumped to your defense that night in The Garrison.
“She’s a damn Peaky Blinder and has been for years! She can be trusted as well as any Englishman or woman.” He had defended, standing up to meet the man eye-to-eye as a warning to leave.
“Do you know who you’re talking about?” Ada said next, standing up also, “Irish or not, she’s Tommy’s girl and a Blinder.”
“I don’t give a shit if she’s Tommy’s current whore or not. She’s Irish scum and I don’t want to be in a pub with the likes of her,” the man spat back at Ada.
Esme and you both stood up at this and the rest of the pub had silenced as they watched the scene unfold. Seemingly out of thin air, a couple other Blinders that were present came to stand beside John as he told the man to leave the pub while he could still see the door.
Next thing you knew, Esme had pulled you harshly out of the way as a glass shattered against the wall behind you.
Chaos broke out immediately. Despite you trying to fight against them, a couple patrons or other members of the Peaky Blinders (you weren’t sure which) had tried to drag you, Ada, and Esme back to the office. During the mix, a blow landed on your cheek and you quickly swung back.
The fight seemed to halt immediately after. Even if the guy was brave enough to harass you for being Irish, throw a glass at your head, and fight John over everything, everyone else seemed to realize the grave mistake that had been made in that moment.
No one touched Thomas Shelby’s woman, and there she was with a bruise already evident on her cheek.
John grabbed the guy by the scruff of the neck like he was nothing more than a rabid dog, called for you to follow him, and called for Esme and Ada to be walked back to the betting shop and for all the members of the Peaky Blinders present to go there, also.
You walked with John to the canal and were told by John that you ‘could do the honors of killing the bastard’ yourself.
After the deed was done, the two of you had walked back to the betting shop and arrived at the same time as Tommy.
You remembered the worry on his face as he looked for you, the anger that took over when he spotted the black eye, him screaming at everyone to give him an answer as to what had happened and who had harmed you, and the way he had pulled you into his arms in a hug that nearly crushed you.
You remembered the feeling of safety that washed over you once you were in his arms, the feeling of home, and the way you were able to ignore the chaos around you as others explained what exactly had happened that night.
You remembered the way he wouldn’t let anyone else touch you until he had personally looked you over for any injuries.
You remembered the look he had when you told him you’d killed the man. The disappointment over not being the one to do it himself, but the pride in you standing up for yourself.
“I remember being absolutely terrified when it finally clicked in my head what I was feeling. I have never feared you, but I was terrified of ever getting my heart broken again. I knew Esme and Ada had said they were sure we would be married, but my own insecurities came into play, and I was terrified you’d realize how much of a mess I could be and you’d leave me,” you told him, leaned in and kissing him softly for a moment before continuing on, “You never left me. Even when we’ve fought, you never let me feel like you were going to leave me. I learned that no matter what happened, you’d move the earth, heavens, and hells to make sure you always came back to me.”
Tommy remained silent as you finished your story. He opened his mouth several times to speak, but it seemed you had actually managed to make the man speechless.
“I love you, Thomas Michael Shelby,” you muttered as you leaned in to kiss him again, “I meant it the first time I said those words, when I accepted your proposal, when we said them at the altar, when I say them now, and every time in between. You’re my darling boy through it all.”
His hand came up to cup your face and he rested his forehead against yours, “I’ve meant them all, too. You’re mine until the end of time.”
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uplatterme · 2 years
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Pure and Sweet (For Old Time’s Sake)
cw: sub!scaramouche / sub!wanderer (how do i label this now), virgin!scaramouche (but not really, you’ll see what i mean), sensitive!scaramouche, dom!reader, fatui!reader, amab!reader but gender-neutral pronouns, stomach bulge, over-sensitivity
summary: after the events in sumeru, the wanderer meets up with someone familiar and does some familiar activities. oh you know, just for old time’s sake
a/n: written before scaramouche lore came out so yeah this doesn’t make sense anymore 💀
Every day, the citizens of Sumeru sees the Wanderer come up to the highest peak of Sumeru. No one knows the reason why, nor does anyone stop him even if his body was not suitable for climbing such heights due to recent event that everyone’s been talking about.
Perhaps, it was the fault of the rumors going around which is why no one’s dared to talk to him. Even though his intimidating glance would serve enough for anyone who dared to try.
The traveler claimed that he’s grown softer nowadays… Yet, he still remained close off.
“Come out.” His voice ordered, stern as usual.
“Did you hit your head that hard on the ground for you to not notice it was me?” You questioned him.
He stuttered, not expecting your arrival. Especially not when he looked like this. “(Name). What? Have you come to get rid of me?”
You laughed at his antics. “Me? Oh no, quite the opposite actually.”
You stop in the middle of your words, admiring his new appearance. “You look like an angel, Scaramouche. A new soul.”
There’s red spreading on his cheeks from just your compliments. “Don’t call me that.”
“What? An angel?” You teased.
The repeated teasing made him roll his eyes. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
“Show me a tour? For old time’s sake.” You asked.
“Can’t. I’m not allowed in some areas.” He refuted.
“And yet you go up here.” You uttered, knowing he could clearly hear it.
You walked closer to him, his feet obviously wanting to run away. “I’m surprised you’re handling this heat well, Scaramouche.”
He let out an annoyed sound, hearing you call him by that again. He wasn’t complaining outright, looks like the traveler was right about that. “You should say that to yourself. Let me guess, that bastard Pantalone got that trash for you?” He said, referring to the cloak on your shoulders.
“Mhm. It is quite hot. Mind taking it off for me?” You told him, not really expecting him to do what you said.
Still.
Scaramouche closed in the space between the both of you, taking the cloak off slowly as he struggled not to meet with your eyes. You could almost hear his heart thump with each slow movement.
“Scaramouche.”
“Yeah?”
You raised his chin, bringing his lips closer to yours. He tasted sweet, pure, and innocent. Unlike when the two of you shared lips from before. There’s a whine that came out of his throat, wanting to let go but he instead kissed you deeper, wanting and needy for your touch.
You caressed his cheek after you separated from him. He flinched immediately.
“Missed me?” You ask.
“Shut up.”
It was new. His reactions from your touch was incredible and you hadn’t even purposely touched him anywhere erogenous.
“Hn.” He trembled in your hands.
You took out his cock and he sounded like he was already ready to cum. He shivered, grabbing onto your shoulders as you pump him as slow as you could.
“(N-Name). Wait—ahn!”
Drips of him fell on the ground.
“Did they give you a baptism? You act as if you’re a virgin pure.” You joked.
Scaramouche faced you and his eyes are tearing up.
“Shit, doll. You can’t just look at me like that.” You said.
“Hurry… Want it inside. Please!”
You took off his pants, wondering if he needed any preparations. His gaping hole opening up and closing repeatedly just for you, clenching as if there was already something inside. “Please.” He begged once more.
You slowly insert yourself into him and if not for your assistance, he would’ve fallen on the ground. He orgasmed again, his legs trembling too much for any kind of steadiness.
He choked on his sobs, moaning repeatedly with every pump you give him.
You could barely understand what he was saying anymore.
“Ish—feels—so-so good.”
Scaramouche was fucking tight. You didn’t know what kind of shit they gave him in this region but archon were you thankful for it.
“I-Inside… Fill m-me up!” He whined.
You’ve lost count as to how much he’d cum at this point and by the look of his eyes rolling up with his tongue out, neither did he.
He cried out as you pounded him deeper, your cock bulging from his tiny body, hitting him in all the right spots.
The dirt below him was soaking wet as his cock continued to spurt out as you milked him for more.
“F-Fuck! Ah—Ah! I-I can’t.” He stuttered while he felt you throbbing inside him.
His walls spread out as you came inside him, pounding him a couple more times just to make sure your warm cum got deeper in him.
Scaramouche is a mess, you’re not sure if he’s even able to form any coherent thoughts anymore.
His clothes were ruined and you weren’t sure if he’d be able to walk for a few days after this. You covered him with the cloak you were wearing even though you were sure he’d argue with that.
You carried him back to his current settlement and accidentally bumped into a few familiar faces.
“Watch him for me, will you? Tell him he gets to keep the cloak.” You said to the blond and his companion, handing a bag of mora in his hands.
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last-starry-sky · 5 months
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too sweet pt 4 - innocent!reader x graves
Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
✨Thank you again to the lovely @shotmrmiller for letting me work off of her original idea!🌟
NSFW(finally, lmao) - MIND THE WARNINGS - MDNI: [lots of pet names, oral, again i’m REALLY leaning into how much of a virgin reader is, religion mention, pov switches, loss of virginity, unprotected piv (cumming inside), more of graves being just the absolute worst in both ❤️ and 💀 flavors (it’s all in his head. No harm comes to our dear reader), Phil talks you through it, this is 13 pages (5.9k words) of me absolutely lost in the sauce, so buckle up friends. a/n at the end!]
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You fell the short distance out of Phil’s arms to the bed with a soft oof! You bounced up once before his pillowy comforter surrounded you, sweetly swaddling you like baby. You closed your eyes, catching your breath as you surrendered your body into the cool, linen-freshness swallowing your body. You hoped closing your eyes and a few deep breaths would stop the ceiling from spinning. You told yourself that your stomach was turning from nerves, nothing else. 
You really didn’t want puke to be a part of your first time. 
You opened your eyes as Phil ran his hands up your legs, making room to stand between them. Your dress was still rucked up to your waist, the shamefully wet gusset of your panties on display. The way he looked at you had your hands curing into the sheets above your head. It was so dark. It was like nothing you’d seen cross your sweet boyfriend’s face before. Like a wolf ready to pounce, tear apart, consume. 
It worried you, but you were still hitching your knees around his hips, pulling him closer. His hands squeezed at your hips. His dark visage took on a little of his old self as his eyes dipped, a playful smile creeping across his mouth.
Why were you such a liar to yourself? He could never scare you. He excited you. Every single time.
Your breath caught in your throat as his hands smoothed up to, then over, your underwear. You expected him to rip them off. Instead, he circled your waist, urging you to sit up as he pulled your dress off your body. 
“There y’go, baby. Hands up,” he said, an edge of his usual humor in his dark voice, as he finally pulled the tight pink thing off you. 
He doesn’t watch where he throws it. Somewhere in the room behind him, you think. You don’t know either. You can’t make yourself meet his stare, focusing your wobbling vision instead on your hands clenched in your lap, of the warmth of his body pouring into the space between you. You know he’s staring at your exposed breasts. That’s all that matters to him. A soft whistle falls from his lips as he wraps his hands around your thighs. 
You hide your blush by ducking your head into your chest, reaching up behind your neck to unclasp your necklace. He stopped you with a hand on your chin, making you face him.
“Leave it on, doll,” he says before hauling you in for another kiss.
You don’t know why, but this kiss felt so more intimate than the others. You’re flushed and panting against him as he holds your jaw against his, slowly stroking your tongue with his. Maybe it’s because you’re almost completely naked, his warm hands brushing down your chilled back. Oh, you could just about beg him to keep touching you. It could be how he’s got you pressed flush against him, your nipples hardening against the cool cotton of his button down shirt and legs hitched on his hips. His hard dick is nudging at your pussy through his pants, making you whine when he ruts just right against your clothed nub. It feels weird, like nothing you’ve felt before. Weird, but damn if some basal part of you doesn’t crave it. 
He broke the kiss, peeling himself away to pick you up again, just enough to throw you to the middle of the bed. He gets right back into position between your legs as you settle back into the fluff of his blankets. You don’t know what to do now as he takes a second to shimmy out of his button down. What does he expect of you? Should you lay back? Before you can overthink, you fall back onto your forearms. He tossed his shirt off the bed, his hair all ruffled, white undershirt pulled up to expose the muscles of his stomach, as he turns back to you. 
“Fuck are y’ gorgeous like this, darlin’,” he says staring down at you while unbuckling his belt. 
You wonder if he can feel your legs shake. You feel a fresh blush flush down your body. You chew on your bottom lip, trying not to stare as he lets his trousers fall down to his knees before kicking out of them. There’s a muffled metal jangle as the whole lot falls off the end of the bed to the floor.  
“Now where were we . . .” he mused with a quiet laugh as he crawled over you, pushing your back flat to the mattress before cradling your head to his for another kiss.
You thought it wouldn’t be so different, having him on top of you. You had been grinding against each other for going on hours at this point. You were slowly getting used to what he felt like, how your bodies slotted together best, how he touched you, and where it made sense for you to touch him. The addition of his weight, though? Amazing. You loved it. The feel of all of his muscle and bone, being free to feel each other’s skin free of clothing, it had you trembling underneath him. To have a whole person, let alone this powerful, muscled man, resting between your thighs, your chest squished to his as he sucked open mouth kisses under your jaw, had you clawing at his hair and moaning sweetly into the dark. 
“Thas’ it, baby. Tell me how y’like it,” he sighed as he continued kissing down your neck, his hands running down your sides, forcing a bow in the small of your back. 
You moaned a high pitched ah! when he placed a delicate kiss to your nipple. 
“Oh. Y’like that, do ya? My sensitive little thing,” he asked sucking the little nub into his mouth. 
You answered with a high-pitched keen, your hands pressed into the pillow above you. It did feel good. So good. Your body felt so hot and damp, sheets and hair sticking to your skin. He continued to suck at your nipple, every once and a while catching it with his teeth while playing with your other. He rubbed smooth little circles around it until it was hard, then pinched it, forcing a whiny, pained moan from you. 
Why was he doing this? He would make you feel so so good you felt like you were floating, just to turn on a dime to bite or pinch you were you were the most sensitive, pulling you out of the moment. You didn’t understand him. 
You looked down. He had that wide, wry, hungry smile. Eyes hooded and dark. Dangerous. You gasped when he suddenly looked up, catching your stare like a predator.
“Sorry baby,” he said syrupy sweet, giving your nipple a quick kiss. “‘m playin’ with you. I know. Don’t mean to. Gonna make you feel good.”
You didn’t understand what he meant until he slid farther down your body, pulling your underwear with him as he rocked up onto his knees. Your eyes quickly snapped up to the ceiling. You couldn’t help but tremble, knees knocking together until he pulled your panties past them. He took your feet in hand as he shucked them off you completely. There was a light sound as they hit the hardwood floor somewhere in the abyss behind him.  
He threw one of your legs to the side with a hand on your knee, stopping you from closing it back by slotting himself deftly back into place. You heard him breathe out a shuddering breath as he finally got a good, full look at you. His hand swept down your leg from your knee, falling closer and closer to your aching core.
“Phil,” you whined, so muffled by your arms covering your face that even you barely heard it.
A hand pushed your arms above your head, exposing your tear-filled eyes. He stared down at you, pushing your arms into the pillow with one hand, his other coming to rest on your stomach, just above your pussy. 
“Listen to me now, baby, okay?” he said lightly tapping your mons with his thumb, refusing to let you break eye contact. “‘m gonna make you feel good. You know that, right?” When you didn’t answer, he leaned down over you. “I’d never, ever, hurt you,” he whispered, nose nudging yours as he spoke. “Love you too much. Want you . . . want you to enjoy this as much as I will.”
You were shocked silent for a moment. Tears dried in the corners of your eyes before you were able to squeak out, “Love me?”
“‘course,” he said pecking a kiss to your bottom lip. 
You wanted so badly to grab him, to hold him close, to force him to kiss you again because, well . . . did you really need a reason? He just told you he loves you! You’d hoped for months that what you felt - you were over the moon for him from the moment you met - wasn’t really just a crush, a passing summer fling. You wanted to know that he was just as serious about your relationship as you were. You’d worried that the summer would end, you would go back to school, he would go off to some exotic and exciting place halfway around the world and your relationship would slowly peter out. 
Eventually, you knew, he would forget about you. After all, you had been denying his advances to make your relationship physical for a while. No matter how gentle they were or how nicely he took your refusals, you knew he would get tired of asking eventually. Guys were like that. Or so you’d been told. 
But now, he’d said he loved you. With those words, all of your anxiety washed away in one clean wipe, like a wave washing up the shore. All was good in the world. It put your mind at peace. Your apprehensions dissolved into his feather-light kisses and gentle touches. The only thing you wanted was to hear him say it over and over again but your couldn’t. All you could do was uselessly clench your hands in his strong grip. 
His fingers stroked ever so slowly down the seam of your pussy. He was treating you like a feral cat or an unbroken horse; with a light touch, soft words, and persistence. 
“Breathe,” he instructed, nuzzling into your neck again to kiss at the spot under your ear that made you moan. 
You did, pulling in a deep, shuddering breath that cleansed your need to cry. He placed another kiss on your neck as he let your hands go. Finally. You laced your free arms around his shoulders immediately, feeling him smile as he continued to mouth kisses over your pulse.
“That’s good, darlin’. Relax. Just like that,” he whispered as he ran his hand down your side, still soothing you. 
A moan punched out of your lungs when he pushed past your outer labia with a single finger, stroking just once, top to bottom, through your slick folds. You were sloppy, dripping wet. His head collapsed into the crook of your neck, a muffled, “fuck” following. He didn’t move, you trembled as his finger swirled up to circle around your clit.
“Ah! Phil,” you whined.  
“I know. I know,” he huffed breathlessly, lifting himself off you. 
He looked down your body to watch himself rub tight circles around your nub for a moment. He groaned before pulling his hand away. You cried out when he stopped, but he left no time for argument. He was grabbing the backs of both your knees, repositioning you open and shuffling backwards out of your grasp, laying kisses down your chest and stomach as he went.
“Lemme, fuck . . . just lemme make y’ feel good, sweets.” His mouth working farther south until you could feel his breath tickle your pussy. “Make you cum, promise,” he whispered, his next kiss tonguing at the base of your clit.
Your back arched, a needy “oh!” punched from your lungs. He didn’t wait for you to respond to dive in, thankfully. You were beyond words, already shaking from nerves and pleasure. 
“Want to taste you so bad,” he mumbled as he kissed slowly down the hood of your clit before swiping at the exposed head with his tongue, a spike of pleasure following.  
The feeling was amazing, unlike any pleasure you’d been able to bring yourself. You’d experimented before, by yourself, of course. Always in the dead of night, when you were certain your parents were asleep. You would wake up hot, a dream you couldn’t remember troubling you, making you ungodly slick in your pajamas. You would guiltily snake a hand down your body, trying not to move or make a sound as your finger slipped through the sopping mess you’d made. Those stolen moments were always something you would think of again in church with burning cheeks: how you’d sinned and now you must beg forgiveness. Not that you thought God would care, but you never could bring yourself to completion. You couldn’t find that beautiful, spine-chilling, white-hot peak that so many romance novels described. 
It made you worry, as Phil gently swirled his tongue around your clit making you shiver, because he was clearly putting in a lot of effort. You really didn’t want to disappoint him. Didn’t want his first intimate memory of you to be one where he couldn’t make you cum.
“Hey,” he whispered, pulling himself out of your pussy just enough to look at you down your body. You squirmed as he held eye contact while licking another swipe up your clit. “Clos’ y’ eyes. Breathe. Relax.”
After you did all three, exactly as he asked, he gave your hip a squeeze before nuzzling himself back between your thighs. 
“That’s my girl,” you heard him say before the lewd, wet clicking of his mouth against you filled the room. 
He continued to gently lick at you, drawing loose circles with his tongue before sucking your nub into his mouth. He continued that pattern: slow, patient movements with an ungodly endurance, until your thighs started to shake against his head. You had been here before. A lovely hot coil budding in your gut, wrapping tighter and tighter. But this time, it wasn’t stopping. 
Maybe this is what you had needed all along: someone to take control and do all the work for you. Someone who wouldn’t stop to look nervously toward the door, or worry if someone down the hall could hear, or even think about if this was morally wrong. All he cared about was you. Your pleasure, the soft plush of your thighs around his head, your voice cracking as you moaned his name and rocked your hips against his face. 
Phil wound his arm around your leg, pressing your hips to the bed with a firm hand on your lower stomach. He used his leverage to splay you open before diving back in at that relentlessly slow pace. You threw your head back, a string of breathy pants falling from your mouth until Phil reached up to place your hands on his head. Your fingers carded through his soft hair. He tipped his slick-coated face to the side to sneak a peek at your blissed out face as his tongue pressed up the side of your clit. Your fingers tightened, grabbing a fistful of hair, as a delicious tingle danced at the edge of your clit, right were his tongue flicked. 
“So sweet. Taste so good, baby,” he said in a breathy whine. 
You couldn’t answer, only able to buck abortively against the strong arm holding you down, hoping it would make him pick up the pace. He laughed before lowering back down. His actions became harder and faster: nipping at your hood at every rotation as his tongue flicked aggressively against your poor, exposed pearl. 
It was frustrating. He was no longer pulling you higher and higher as effortlessly. Everything he did, no matter how good it felt, was just maintaining your buzz. You could feel your clit vibrating you were so close, but he wasn’t pulling you over. It’s like he was teasing you with that tingle in your belly, giving you just enough to keep you moaning, begging, as you fell into the hot wet swipes of his tongue, before pulling back to make you work for it all over again. It made you cry in frustration. 
It wasn’t enough. You needed more. 
Your eyes were screwed shut when he pulled away and asked, “What, baby? What-”
“More!” you squeaked. “Please, more!”
He nodded as he readjusted your body to sling a leg over his shoulder. You cried out as his finger pressed to your spit-slicked clit with a pressure that you’d never felt. Your hands just couldn’t compare to his. It wasn’t fair. Electricity shot up your spine as you shivered in his arms at the white-hot pleasure that flared out. 
“That’s my girl. There you go,” he whispered as he kissed down your clit to where his finger worked in hard, tight circles. You bucked into each roll, your hole clenching uselessly against nothing. “There you go,” he repeated as you shuddered, tip-toeing closer and closer to that edge.
Want became your mantra. You could feel it. You wanted it. You want. You want. You want.   
“Please, Phil. Please,” your voice a thready whine. “Want to cum, so bad.”
“You can do it, baby,” he cooed sweetly against your mons. “I can feel ya. So tight. Y’so close.” He laid a kiss on your clit before looking up to catch your teary eyes. “Cum for me,” he commanded, with a voice fucked out, rough, stern.
And, oh, did you follow him. 
It was just enough. Like a breath blowing the head off a dandelion, it sent you scattering into a million pieces. You snapped beneath him, a scream tearing from your throat as your leg clamped down on Phil’s shoulder. Your fingers tore at his hair, the only thing grounding you, as you lost control of your body. You writhed against the sheets, struggling to draw in air as electrical pleasure fried your brain. It was beautiful at the top. A pure and white peaceful glow: no sound but your own breathy moans, no feeling but your boyfriend’s fingers swirling again and again over your twitching clit, extending your flight. 
You never wanted to forget this moment. 
You rolled your head to the side as over-stimulation hit, whining at the feeling of the cool pillow beneath you. A sudden jolt back into the real world. Phil stopped touching you without you having to tell him, which was nice. Your whole body went slack, dazed, pliant. You didn’t think you could form words at the moment even if you wanted.
Phil groaned as he rose up from between your legs. The sudden loss of his warmth made you whine again. You were struck with this intense, emotional need to keep him next to you. He’s yours, an animal part of your brain told you. Do not let him go. 
It made you roll your head to the side and open you eyes. You were just in time to see him pull his undershirt off his head, wiping his mouth with it before rolling it down his arms. Your eyes widened at the dark design across his left pectoral, right above his heart. You looked up at him nervously, wondering why he never told you he had a tattoo.
“Yeah,” he said looking down at the eagle topped globe, an anchor roughly rendered behind it, swiping at it with his thumb like he wanted to wipe it away. “Got it when I was young. Stupid. Too much money,” he said with a small smile as he finally tossed his shirt to the side. He rubbed your hip as he looked down at you with a smoldering gaze. “Hope that doesn’t ruin anything.”
“No,” you whispered, head rolling back and forth as you suddenly found the courage to let your eyes trail down his body.
Good God, what a body he had. You knew he was fit from the tight fitting t shirts and shorts that fell just above his knees that he wore all summer. He had been on the edge of bulky when you first met him but had tapered down into a more lean physique through the long, lazy summer. His chest and arms were his pride, you’d gathered, from how he refused to let them go soft with the rest of his muscles. After all, he needed a place for you to rest your head, didn’t he? And how could he let himself not be strong enough to pick you up and carry you around? To have everything revealed to you, to see how his chest tapered into his waist, how his hips (now supporting your legs) poked above the band of his briefs . . . that he was rolling down his thigh with his free hand. 
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Phil didn’t break his gaze, drinking in the nervous, almost fatally curious, expression on your face as he took his time shuffling off his underwear. He went a little bit down on one side, just  to the bend of his hip, then slid his hand across the elastic, ignoring his cock, to push the other side farther down. It was unnecessarily slow, but he loved teasing you. Loved watching you react even more. One of your hands was already clenched around nothing as it rest against your stomach. The other was plastered across your mouth. Your hand couldn’t cover how wide your eyes were, or how your eyebrows went from bunched in concern to halfway up your forehead in surprise. 
It made him smile as he finally pulled himself from his briefs, revealing himself to you. Your eyes darted suddenly away, but you couldn’t smother the soft, “oh” that fell from you lips or the fresh blush spreading down your chest. It was delicious. 
He took his time pushing his underwear down his muscled thighs, stepping toward you on his knees to get them shuffled down his lower legs. The time it took was no bother. Why rush when he had the most beautiful creature in the world right in front of him? 
He held your legs open, petting your skin with slow, soft circles, as he looked at the glossy mess he’d created between your legs. It was amazing. You were wet from your bikini line to your thighs, and it was sweetly pooled in every crevice. He couldn’t help but reach out, running the tips of his fingers through the slick pooled around your clit.
“Phil-” you cried, covering your face with both hands.
You tried to jerk your legs closed too, but he was too quick. He caught them, forcing your knees back around his hips. This was as good a sign as any that it was time to move things along.
“Shhh, baby. It’s okay,” he whispered, leaning down on his elbows to hold you in his arms. 
He had to peel your hands away from your face to get a look at you. There was no way he was going to miss out on how you looked through all of this. He knew this position wouldn’t be the most comfortable for you, but he couldn’t help but be a little bit more selfish. You would understand one day that your pain was worth the look he caught as his cockhead nudged accidentally against your clit, sliding effortlessly up through the combination of slick and saliva. 
You just looked so helpless, so lost. It should have hurt him, how could you not trust him after everything he’s done so far? Nevermind the amazing orgasm he just gave you. But he was an adult: a man with a deep, dark, corrupted soul, so he understood. You needed him to continue leading you. Lucky you, leadership came naturally to him.
He wiped a line of tears from your lashes as he held your face in his hands. 
“What’s wrong, darlin’? Doin’ okay?” he asked.
You shook your head yes, squeezing out fresh tears from your eyes as you gripped his hands.
“Just . . .” you warbled out, trying to catch your breath, “just scared.”
“Why you scared, baby?”
“It’s . . . is it . . .” you said trying to turn your head to look down your body to where he was pressed to you, cock barely humping through that sinful slick. “Is it gonna hurt?”
He let out the breath he was holding. “No, sweetie,” he said shaking his head. “Not if you listen and do what I tell you. You can do that, right?” 
He added a little smile at the end and you smiled back with a nod, tears drying. He felt his cock pulse as he leaned down to kiss you. Of course you would be so good, do as you’re told, let him take care of you.
A path straight to hell, and you’re paving it with easy choices and good intentions.
He pushed further down to deepen the kiss, tongue laving over your lips until you tipped your head back with a sigh, opening your mouth, letting him in. It would be a good distraction for what he had to do next. He propped himself up with his free arm, reaching down to notch his cockhead at your entrance. It’s rough and sloppy, not being able to see where he’s going. The mess between your legs didn’t help either. He slid his cock around through your slick, coating his hand as he barely missing your vagina several times before an aggressive nudge of his hips popped it in. 
It knocked the breath out of you. He felt you clench at the head of his cock, breaking away from the kiss with a breathless whine. He stopped you before you could protest. 
He nuzzled into your neck and groaned, “Fuuuck, baby. I’m in. That’s it. I’m in.”
You still squirmed and whined. He should have known you would need more direct instruction.
“Listen to me, darlin’,” he said breathless, picking himself back up to look at you, nudging his cock around experimentally, trying to work himself further into that tight, heavenly chanel. “Look at me,” he commanded.
You stopped, opening your eyes. They’re rimmed with fresh tears. 
“Gotta relax okay, baby? Or else it’s gonna hurt. Don’t wanna hurt you.”
He watched you let out a few shallow breaths, chest heaving with each one, before inhaling one deep one. You held the breath for a second before pursing your lips in a pretty circle, blowing it out. 
“Better?” he asked.
“Yeah,” you said with a nod.
“‘kay. Now, listen to me,” he said leaning over you enough to let his hair brush over your face, mattress squawking as he pressed your legs to your chest. A low ohhh wringing out of your throat. Your heels caught on his hips. “Gonna push in a lil’ bit, but you gotta stay relaxed. Can’t clench, okay?” 
Not that he couldn’t wait to feel you clenching around him. Fuck, he couldn’t even imagine how tight, how wet, how fuckin’ good, you would feel around him. He was pulsing just imagining it. You were his little virgin, after all. He was going to be your first and only and he was going to feel it, all of it. 
“Let me know if it hurts and I’ll stop,” he said with a groan, forcing himself deeper inside. 
You didn’t say anything, just wrapped your arms tighter around his neck, forcing his face down into the crook of your shoulder. He placed a kiss there, right on the chain of your necklace. He waited a few seconds as he held your hips, then finally began to pull his cock in and out just a bit. Good Lord, he was fucking you. Finally fucking you. A low whine, like a wolf or coyote howling far off in the distance, rattled in the back of your throat, almost too quiet to hear. 
He pulled against your arms, breaking your weak hold easily, to look at you again. You looked tired. Fucked out and exhausted, with half-lidded eyes barely able to stay open. That sheen of glitter-like sweat was back, sparkling down the column of your neck and across your temples. You had let your arms fall over your head, and there they still lay, heavy against the pillow. His poor girl was tuckered. 
“Okay?” he asked, trying to keep the movement of his hips smooth and shallow. 
He’ll do whatever he has to now to have you enjoy this, however slow and gentle he had to be. It’s bait. He needs to plant himself in the back of your mind. That will get you to come back for more, to want to stay, stay here with him. That’s when he’ll work his magic. Ambushing you right when you feel safe. Catch his pretty little prey in his snare and never let you go. Unfortunately for him, that meant not blowing his load the second he felt your slick run down his shaft.
“Yeah,” you croaked. Keeping your eyes open and following his voice taking all of your sapping strength. 
“Hurt?” he asked, picking up his pace, but not trying to force anymore of his cock in you. 
Just have to get in a little more, he tells himself. Work her open a little more and then you can.
“No . . .” you said with a whine, letting your head roll to the side, eyes closing, as you fell into his comfortable rhythm. Phil watched as your breasts swirled in time to his thrusts. Such a pretty dance they did. He had to bite his lip from leaning down to nip at them. “Just a little sore.”
“Like you pulled a muscle?” he said with a smile, brushing the sweat-slicked hair from your forehead. “That’s normal, babe. You’re doin’ so good.”
You nodded back at him, cheeks flushing as he trailed his fingers down your face. You were so cute like this. He let his hand brush innocuously over the little silver cross in the hollow of your neck as he pulled it back. 
What a good girl you were.
“‘s lot for your poor little kitty to take all at once, honey,” he said sweetly, leaning down to kiss the corner of your mouth. He was ramping up his pace as his own pleasure curled within him, his hips snapping into yours with a wet smack as they met. He felt himself push deeper and deeper into you, your greedy pussy swallowing everything he gave you. Before he knew it, fuck, he was right where he wanted to be. “Don’t you worry, you’ll feel all better by the mornin’.”   
You turned to meet his mouth with a whine. He caught you, sealing his lips over yours as he pounded full thrusts into your wet hole. His need was clouding his mind, narrowing his vision to a pinpoint centered on the thought of his cock bruising your sweet little cervix. You opened your mouth, to scream or moan he’ll never know, but he was right there, prepared, diving in to silence you with his tongue. You clenched down on him as he smothered your voice and it had him seeing stars.
Not that he had to make this last any longer, but it just felt so good. He would have fucked you all night if you let him, pulling back as he came close to that peak, denying himself climax until the very end, until you begged him to finally cum in your sore pussy. 
Later. One day, he told himself.  
Tonight was the end of phase one. Tomorrow began phase two. It was the next step of the plan he had so carefully executed over the last couple months. If this went well, he was in the clear, golden. He sighed with contentment as you tipped back your head and moaned. He would have you, completely and finally. All he had to do was follow his plan.
He couldn’t ignore how badly he wanted to cum anymore. His cock was so engorged it was getting increasingly harder to pull out of you, especially now that you were clamping down on him every time he managed to nail you right in the cervix. 
He pulled himself out of his head and let his body control the last of his actions. He pulled you into his arms, buried his face in your neck and whined out, “Fuuuuck baby. Fuck. Feel so good. I’m gonna-”
When he felt your legs wrap up around his back with a whine, he sent out one last message from the rational part of his brain: Don’t pull out. He could only hope the other side of him would obey.
He didn’t remember much once the endorphin rush of his orgasm hit. He felt you wrap your arms around his neck, and your heels bury into the small of his back. You might have even whined out his name. All he could follow was the play-by-play of those last few seconds after: ramming himself in as deep as he could, the feeling of his cock expanding within you, pushing back against those taut muscles, then he was lost in the rush of his seed pumping deep deep within. 
He remembered a groan as he reluctantly pulled himself off, then out, of you. How small you looked, sweating and trembling against the sheets as he searched the bed for a blanket. He was still in a haze as he pulled your back to his chest, pawing at the blanket with no motor control in an attempt to share it between the two of you. 
It felt amazing to finally have you here: falling asleep, skin to skin, in his bed. He let out a long breath, stretching his legs down the bed, as his mind cleared. He could still feel your heart pounding where he held you in his arms. How quickly you had surrendered to sleep. He buried his face in your hair and inhaled the last remnants of your fruity shampoo - or was it your body spray? he didn’t remember - through the sweat and sex in the air. Only then did he finally let himself doze off.
He needed all the sleep he could get. Tomorrow was a big day. 
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a/n: hello. it’s me. The girlie who ACTUALLY popped her cherry in her late twenties :) Also, sorry this took so long!!! I have no good explanation besides the fact that I was working on other things for lovely anons. I took a lot of time trying to get everything feeling just right and I still feel like it’s not great :( (i feel i will never write a good orgasm i s2g) but here it is! It’s also very loooong because i wanted all of the sex DONE and in one goddamn chapter. Anywho, hope you all like it! 
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vettelsdarling · 1 year
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Pleaseeeeee do a Lando x normal!reader ig au I really need this🧡
𝐈 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐁𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬
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Lissie note… I’m honestly surprised that nobody has requested this until you did! Sorry for the delay, by the way!!! I go in order of who requested first, so it took a little while to get to yours. I love this idea though, thank youuu xx
Few things to note:
Reader is a senior college student.
Lando and reader have been dating for almost a year (since 2020) and are soft launching
There will be time skips from post to post
Time spans from late 2021 to late 2022 (meaning they’ve been dating for 2 yrs over the span of the fic)
Pairing: Lando Norris x Normal!Fem!Reader
Warnings: Slight cursing(?), bunch of fluff
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landonorris
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Liked by maxverstappen1, carlossainz55, danielricciardo and 863,921 others
landonorris Took a picture of me, so I took a picture of you… sorta.
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maxverstappen1 So this is why you didn’t have time for some sim…
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user1 WHAT IS THAT CAPTION
user2 The two shadows😭😭😭
user3 Have you guys ever wondered that he might have friends?
user2 There’s no way that’s a case of “oh this is my best friend”
user4 Tbh I agree💀 It looks like he’s soft launching
user5 Not Lando soft launching rn😭
user6 Is this the first mention of her?
user5 Yeah it is
user7 wdym “her” it might not be his girlfriend…
user8 um it definitely is.
landonorris
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Liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo, mclaren and 648,221 others
landonorris On my way back to you✈️
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danielricciardo She’s going to love it when the flowers are all withered from the trip
landonorris She’ll appreciate the sentiment
user1 The roses…
user2 the caption…
user3 I know who it is. If anyone wants the proof dm me
user4 Can you drop it plsss
user5 Oh my goooosh whoever she is, she’s so lucky😭😭😭
user6 I love Danny in the comments💀
wagsf1
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3,729 likes
wagsf1 News!!! Lando’s girlfriend is on Instagram! Sadly private though…
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user1 But there’s no @???
user2 you can just search her name and her account appears but she’s private so she probably won’t accept it if you request
user3 omg new wag alert!!!
user4 I can’t wait to see her paddock outfitssss
user5 I’ve never seen her on the paddock before though? Either they JUST started dating or she doesn’t go…
user6 Yeah, agreed. Based off her acc, I think she’s too busy with college anyway..?
user5 Oh yeah that too
yourusername
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Liked by landonorris, francisca.cgomes, charlottesiine and 1,389 others
yourusername Never expected the huge influx of follow requests after being outed, but the fan base is appreciated xx
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yourusername Okay, wow, I did not expect so many likes… am I famous now or something?
landonorris Yes
yourusername Oh wow! I’m so famous that THE Lando Norris commented?
francisca.cgomes Finally public gorgeoussss❤️
yourusername ❤️❤️❤️
user1 That sarcasm? I love her already😭
user2 Agreed😭😭
user3 Wtaf she’s actually so pretty
user4 Honestly would LOVE to see her at the races
user5 Based off her wit, I’d say Lando is pretty lucky
user6 WHAT !! You’re literally SO gorgeous?!
user7 What kind of voodoo did Lando perform to find her😭
user8 idk but he has to teach me
landonorris
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landonorris Had the audacity to still be asleep when I arrived at her dorm. Made it up to me with cinnamon rolls though. She loves late night walks… kind of like a cat?
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yourusername Did you just call me… a cat?
landonorris How else would I describe you
yourusername A very hard working college student
landonorris I think I’ll stick to “little kid who loves running into the road”
yourusername In my defense, those roads are empty at night.
user1 I love the banter between them😭😭😭
user2 They really remind me of an old married couple💀😭
user3 Okay but she actually seems so sweet
user4 I go to nyu and can confirm that she’s an angel
user3 ???
user4 She takes part in a lot of volunteer projects to help animals and stuff
user3 omgggg Lando got himself a literal saint😭
user5 If she doesn’t appear in the paddock soon, I don’t want it
user6 I second thissss
user7 Honestly I don’t care about all the young tweens screaming and crying over a parasocial relationship. These two were literally MADE FOR EACH OTHER
user8 Lando pls invite her to the paddock
yourusername
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Tagged: landonorris
yourusername In the third picture, I asked him to pose and this is what came out. Thoroughly disappointed with this model. 2/10 would not book again.
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landonorris You put me on the spot.
yourusername Untrue
maxverstappen1 He should delete his jpg account and leave the photography to you
yourusername right?
user1 I love her wtf😭😭
user2 Hey girlie when are you leaving him for me🙏
user3 Relatable
user4 The caption💀
user5 If this isn’t my future relationship, I don’t want it
user6 so real
user7 The second pic??? So she was at the race?
user8 It was probably on a weekday and not the actual weekend
user7 but why would she go during the week and not on the weekend?
user8 She was probably too busy otherwise?
user9 I love their dynamic so much ughhh
user10 They literally have so much chemistry
landonorris
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Liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 836,227 others
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landonorris She finally graduated🎉 Had to celebrate accordingly. Congratulations, babe❤️
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yourusername Why thank you very much, good sir
landonorris Anything for you, my fair lady
maxverstappen1 This means we’ll see you in the paddock @ yourusername
yourusername You bet
user1 AHHHH THIS MEANS WE CAN SEE HER PADDOCK FITSSSS
user2 I can’t wait for the pics of her with the other wags
user3 She’ll look amazing in papaya colours🧡
user4 NYU GRAD?? Lando really got someone smart AND gorgeous
user5 I can’t wait for her to join the weekendsss
yourusername
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yourusername Finally got the opportunity to stay for the actual races. These last few ones have been amazing. Also got to be with my favourite person more often❤️
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landonorris I’m happy I get to be with you more often too❤️
yourusername ???
landonorris ?
lilymhe @ landonorris By favourite person, she meant me
yourusername Exactly
landonorris can’t believe this
Liked by yourusername
user1 GORGEOUS
user2 She’s an actual goddess wtaf
user3 Why do I love her paddock fits so much?!
user4 Well, I know who my new fav wag is!!!
user5 I’m actually still kinda curious how long they’ve been dating for
user6 Probably a couple of months before the first soft launch?
user7 Lily and her against Lando in the comments😭😭😭
user8 Pleaseee😭
landonorris
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landonorris For two years, I have had the incredible pleasure of being yours. You’ve shown me how to enjoy all the simple things in life, and I couldn’t be more grateful. You’ve truly captured my heart and I will be yours so long as I breathe. Happy 2 years. I love you.
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yourusername I love you too❤️
Liked by landonorris
mclaren Our favourite paddock couple!
maxverstappen1 congrats guys!
danielricciardo Congrats!!!
lewishamilton You guys are great together, congrats on the 2 years
francisca.cgomes AMAZING❤️ Congrats you two💕💕
yourusername ❤️❤️
lilymhe You guys are so incredibly cute together, congratulationsssss🫶
yourusername 🫶🫶
user1 wait… TWO WHOLE YEARS?!
user2 This was so unexpected😭
user3 Aww this is so sweet🥹
user4 Istg if they don’t get married😭😭😭
user5 Literally. They better.
user6 fav couple on the grid🧡
user7 The fact that they can be best friends and be in love? I want it so bad😭❤️
user8 Never would’ve thought they managed to date for a whole year without anyone noticing, but that just makes this so much sweeter❤️
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𝗤𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗸 𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗰𝗲𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁!
𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝗾𝘂𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗮 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗺𝗮𝗱𝗲, 𝘀𝗼 𝗜'𝘃𝗲 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗼𝗻𝗲!
𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝗱𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝗮 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁, 𝗽𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗿 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗺𝘆 𝗮𝘀𝗸𝘀: 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗱𝗿𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗳 𝗳𝗶𝗰. 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂'𝗱 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗴𝗲𝗱 𝗶𝗻 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻𝗲!
𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗻'𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗳𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝘀𝗸. 𝗜'𝗺 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗮𝗱𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂! :)
𝗥𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗼𝗽𝗲𝗻...
𝘾𝙝𝙚𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙧𝙪𝙡𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙜𝙪𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨 𝙗𝙚𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙨𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚!
𝙃𝙚𝙧𝙚’𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩
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©vettelsdarling
𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗱𝗮𝗽𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘆, 𝘀𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗲, 𝗼𝗿��𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺— 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗺𝘆 𝗽𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻.
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satoruhour · 1 year
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gggOoooOOOOD MORNING ‼️‼️ ive been eating up your masterlist esp your racer au UGHHHH that was the last thought in my head before sleep and the first when i woke racer!geto was just. so. fking. h o t. u dont understand like that has a G R I P on me rn UGHHHH I LOVE IT SM do u have any spare hc for geto in this racer!au? if u dont thats okay! just know i ate that fic up 🫶🏻🫶🏻🥺🥺
a/n: thank u anon 4 the support im glad u liked the racer!au hehe. the original au here, how did you meet and geto’s own elaboration post for context. tagging @na-t0 @crysugu @omgeto @slttygeto / 2.4k
warnings: (in second half of post) mentions + discussions of semi-public sex, filming, fingering while driving, oral (f and m receiving), protected and unprotected sex, f and m masturbation, phone / webcam sex, sharing with gojo & nanami
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AAHHH i might have !!! racer!geto has a special place in my heart huhu i would love to develop more
to start off i would say that he’s just… such a good bf. like i know it’s obvious but also the next day after your late night drifting he texted you to ask if you wanted to go back to the cafe :D
he paid for everything again and he was so happy seeing u get another cinnamoroll trinket !!
so when the cafe has another sanrio event you BET hes bringing you there again. it just so happened that it was a berry and cherry event too ahhhh geto’s so cute getting all excited and stuff
he got you two matching coffees with berry and cherry foam art
that cafe has become a monument in your relationship — your first date, the place where geto officially asks you to be his partner with a big bouquet of flowers that you’re hiding ur face wherever you go for the rest of the day cause it’s huge 😭 he brings you there with his racer friends as well (gojo cheers and nanami scoffs that these things weren’t for him but he loved their pastries wheeee)
attentive, attentive! always leaves his jacket in the car for you if you get cold in his Mazda. resorts to a jacket he doesnt like to wear much but bc he always puts you first, he doesn’t mind :(
geto doesnt like to race with outerwear on him so he always loves seeing you greet him after a successful race with a big grin on your face, jacket swallowing ur physique as u keep urself protected against the tokyo chill !!!
said this before but he looooves seeing you in his car. it just ignites something in him, seeing you propped up on the leather seats and looking out the window when you’re driving. it just gets him sort of feral
ALSO also bc his Mazda was his first proper and real racing car he’s very selective of who he lets touch it / sit in it etc
so when gojo does it he swats him away like a fly and asks him not to dirty his finishing as also geto is the only one to be seen in his car until you come along and gojo sees you sitting on the hood
hes reaching forward to tell you to get off bc he knows suguru doesnt like it but your bf only walks up between your legs to greet you with a big smile. the betrayal gojo felt 💀
overall the relationship with geto is quiet and calming. no need for talking if you dont feel like !!! all racer geto needs is his hand on your thigh that’s always stroking the skin there and you
but loves it when you do talk! he tries so hard not to turn to you cause if he does he’d crash the car 😭😭 he just loves ur beauty and the way you ramble so much !!
one time he swerved and almost hit a car because he was watching you talk about the recent research you did on cars and also running back the terminology he’s been patiently teaching you
to hear his partner talk about cars >>> he’s so excited that you’re finally entering his world that he gets so engrossed and almost collides 😭
NO MORE pls omg he was more scared than you were
but also running off on that, geto is understanding when he teaches you about terminology about racing, abt the parts in a car. he took apart an old car in his garage just to teach you and he loved that you were trying your best to memorise everything 🥹
getting into an rs with geto also has given you more confidence, so he loves how you strut your stuff. he wasnt complicit in anything truly !!! didnt force you to wear anything or do anything you didnt want to, so he was very proud of you when you came out of your shell
geto would love you either way :3 hes just a sweet boy like that
i also relate him to han very closely from f&f… always eating his snacks in tokyo drift LMFAO - geto is chill, letting you feed him his snacks as you cuddle up on him on his hood and watch the new race
ok so, he LOVES racing and geeking out about them but he finds sometimes he watches you way more than the races and before then the race is already over 😭
“suguru! did you see how i crushed the other guy?” gojo emerges and shouts across the parking lot and geto is just like “huh? sorry i wasnt looking was too busy looking at my lover” LMAOOO
when you can’t attend his races you always make it a point to send a selfie with your cherry keychain and he sends one with his berry one back and its just soooo cute youre giving him so much wallpaper material!!
also likes to bring you on drives at night - if you need to rush something or study you bet he’ll be there. he’ll try not to interrupt you, looking at your knees tucked in your arms and memorising your notes
he plays those subliminal audios as a joke and annoys you in the process 💀 
and then just pecks your forehead in apology as he watches or helps you with assignments while occasionally looking out the window and smoking
geto always has a hand on you. it shows his possessive streak and just a general love for physical touch
like i said doesnt pressure u into anything but you’ve expressed interests in his tattoos before
you get a tramp stamp with him for your first one! the pain wasnt that bad, more from lying on your stomach for like 2.5h because of the shading lol. it’s a simple one, but a popular one because of the culture
geto offered to pay for you and you rejected, and he said “alright. half at least” and you didnt exactly oppose that because you were running low on jpn yen for your overseas exchange stay
the tattoo looked so good omfg geto was like . going INSANE it was lowkey funny
gojo and nanami wouldnt hear the end of it for like 3 weeks 😭😭😭
had the photo of you and your tramp stamp as his lockscreen for the longest time
as always tattoos are very addictive! you got a few more in the short span of 6 months (maybe 2-3 small ones) but what really made geto go like. clinically insane was this super big on on your thigh (peep the very first post of this au!!)
it’s a spider with chinese traditional ropes and it was by far your biggest one, taking a dent in your account that you had to lie and ask ur parents for more money after and promise to pay back by working part time
ok i need to preface this part first that geto adores your thighs - you didnt show much of it at first but when you start to be more comfortable with the racing scene he almost came in his pants when you first wore a miniskirt
so to see such beautiful ink on YOUR thighs oh my days felt like you were a goddess walking down the steps to his garage
has a little matching tattoo with you :( it’s not too obvious, but has features of berry and cherry on the both of you <3 down the line he would get other vague and subtle couple tats with you but if you want to mark up your body however you wanna he’d like that too :3
so i actually left the latest fic on a cliffhanger… bro was so heartbroken after you left :( couldnt race properly, couldnt focus in uni, poor boy
even gojo or nanami couldnt get thru to him, but over time he got used to the distance and timezones. moves his whole set-up to the garage just so he’d get better wifi there and also show the latest upgrades to his car !!! the webcam quality is pretty shitty on both ends though so you get disappointed more than once trying to talk to him bc the call isnt connecting well :/ 
continues to send those berry / cherry pics where you’re miles away, and more than once suguru has gone to bed crying :(( but i will keep these sad ones short bc i hate angst and also i might wanna write a next part uh… we’ll see
geto also mails things to you which take ages to ship and you only get the presents one month before you finish uni for good and 💀 it’s so funny seeing his shock at you having just received his gifts
a sweet, sweet bf who takes care of you immensely <3
n*sfw hc’s under divider
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now >:) i also dont want to go into too much detail because. i might. MIGHT. continue. do not ask for the next part explicitly tho that shit annoys me. but geto loves to see your body on his car and the risks that come with it
you guys fuck more in his car compared to his or your room looool.
fingers you when he drives sometimes. when you’re feeling needy all you need to do is drag his fingers to your throbbing core and let him feel how wet you are. 
he tries so hard not to look at you bc you know what happened the last time, so he relies purely on his touch and your hands, fingers slipping inside your panties and he grabs onto the steering wheel with the hardest grip
geto has the patience of a monk, however, letting you use him for your high and grinding down on his fingers. it’s usually not after the race or errand that he properly fucks you bc he knows if he starts he will. not. stop. not even lying
has adrenaline high after racing and will fuck you always unless he’s roughed up, but unlike gojo he probably will drive to a more secluded area. the car is there, the risk is there, it gets geto all riled up
one time he was pissed his opponent scratched his Mazda while racing and while he still won, he pushed you into his leather seats to slam into you. he was going so hard the car was shaking, and he teasingly shows you the brief video gojo sends you later, caressing your very sore legs (you were fine with the recording)
“guess i went too hard, huh?”
you shove him and tell him jokingly, “tell your pervert friend to stop filming us!”
“you like it. me showing everyone who you belong to.” geto is so possessive i swear
loves fucking you in the mountains bro is freaky asf. brings you on late night drives and lays on the hood with you to watch the stars - sometimes it ends cleanly but most times you’re feeling up each other until you’re bent over his Mazda letting him fuck you raw
has fucked you while in the driver’s seat, riding him. has given u oral as u lay on the hood of his car, done a full nelson in his backseat whew you name it he’s so gross and filthy. 
when u contrast it properly with how loving and generous he is and to him when it comes to you and your body the difference is insane. but it also sometimes seeps through when he can’t handle your cute outfits and just has to land a smack and squeeze to your ass
ok this isnt n*sfw but it’s so hot of him - he HAS done this before. made you sit in gojo’s car as he drifted around you in a quiet tokyo crossing late one night and oh my god you made sure he knew how attractive you thought he was. gojo left right away when you two started flirting 💀
likes to both give and receive, so the first time you go down on him was possibly just right after he’s done the drifting around you and you couldn’t resist palming him from the passenger’s seat. you asked him to pull over immediately went to the driver’s side and started pulling at his pants.
you didnt even think that your knees were going to be on gravel so before you could kneel down to suck him off he took his jacket from the back seat to put on the ground …. and then proceeded to get the best blowjob of his life LMFAOOOO
getos a little crazy it’s ok i can take him ! but yea hes filthy thru and thru and dude he missed you sm when you left back to your country.
of course, of COURSE has jerked off at the thought of you, to photos you’d send of a new outfit. also has proposed having phone sex. webcam sex is reserved for special occasions because the sight of you playing with yourself is enough for him to book a flight 😭 he possibly couldnt handle it so he settles for your voice only
he doesnt like to share you, but when you do ask if youve ever thought of getting gojo and nanami in on the fun …. ooh. good luck
again his possessiveness shows so he doesn’t let them fuck you raw lol but rather ask them to get their own condoms 💀💀
his friends r freaks too you realise but it’s time to time where the three of them will organise dates to have some fun with you, but only when youre comfortable. geto putting ur comfort first always 🙏
so sometimes you reject them bc you have an exam comin up etc and geto just treats you in his car or your bedroom alone and even with just him, hes already enough to make you go crazy and moan <3
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peep that op has that same exact spider tattoo on her thigh~ teehee
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thatdeadaquarius · 2 years
Text
Genshin Sagau (?) Isekai Brainrot - Language
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I've seen like ONE small kinda related Genshin Sagau/isekai idea for this but I wanted more of it so BAD
It’s not the most interesting thing in the world, it’s about our modern vernacular vs. Teyvat's flowery speech
Pls feel free to expand on or add to this pLEASE TAG ME IF U DO IM STARVING OUT HERE :)))
So I saw someone write like one sentence abt this (can’t remember who :( sorry I’ll update if I find them ) or like a brutally honest version??
But I also took inspo from how fucking wordy and long conversations that are in Genshin, even with ppl like Xiao (the rude boy that he is) or even Tighnari who gets to the point pretty quickly
It goes smth like:
So, all of Teyvet, (esp ppl like Zhongli 💀 u know the ones) talk,, flowery.
Like, the whole Pride and Prejudice style speaking, euphemisms, metaphors, for some characters (or Npcs) its full on POETRY. 
Lookin’ at you Kazuha.
.
And going off of any variation of you being the Creator, (or otherwise an older mythical being?), they could have this thing where the older a deity/mythical thingy is, the simpler the speech. 
Kinda makes sense to them y’know? The older beings are serious, commanding, intimidating
And nothing says "I'm ancient as fuck and powerful as fuck" like simple blunt speech.
And being closer to the literal creation of the world, language would understandably be less complex (I’m assuming it’s the same as in human cultures in our world's history)
Like literally look at our fantasy typical stories, plenty of them have a dragon or ancient god that speaks in extremes, like so flowery its a metaphor, or so bluntly its startling (ie, "Be not afraid." "I am all powerful." etc etc)
And so, ancient powerful being = direct/blunt speech
..
...Y'know,, almost like our modern vernacular.
Like, part of some of our modern day comedy is purely based on a sentence being delivered bluntly for impact
Hell our ads and videos and content in general we always want to get to the point, to say things simply
So with this in mind, even if you try to deny being the Creator, they might still think you are, or at least a more minor ancient deity/creature
 .
(like the Seven Sovereigns/Phanes/Shades/etc. for example would sound eerily modern or at least easy for you to understand bc of this trait lol)
(Also I'm just assuming u know Genshin lore enough to know what I meant by that ^)
____
So, I love the AU where you just,, hitch a ride with the traveler like Paimon bc u start at the "beginning of the game",
And with every person you meet, you're like, "Ok, no, I promise this is just how my country/world speaks, it's not like that, I'm not some ancient deity…" 
And They're all like 🤨🤨🤨 "Well, fine traveler and companions, why does your speech sound so simplistic and sharp? Surely, you do not expect me to truly believe you.."
You: "Please I just talk like this, I'm a regular human."
Them: "Alright, if it is as you say,, you wish to not experience being "known" yes? Fear not, I will keep your secrets close to my chest."
You: "No, for the last time, that's not-" 
.
And it just keeps happening, lol
.
(srry I tried my best at emulate Genshin language + flowery speech idk how to do it)
.
Like maybe you would just sound weird or like a foreigner speaking y’know in simpler sentences bc they don't know the language as well as native speakers, at least that could be how you sound to NPCs and ppl who don’t know abt simpler speech meaning
.
...But the Adepti? Zhongli?? Barbatos maybe??? Even the Aranara??? Those who are old enough to maybe have heard how older beings speak or at least have knowledge of how they should speak/sound??
You couldn’t have predicted how shocked their faces were the second you opened you’re mouth… 
Sumeru scholars would freak tf out i stg, as soon as you meet Haypasia, she's already losing it, first the Irminsul progress, now this ancient being/Creator?? Girlie thinks its a sign lmao
.
(I’m an Aether lover, and also bc I think Lumine looks badass as Abyss ruler, so I’m gonna go with Aether for traveler sorry Lumine mains love yall T-T)
.
You, and Aether being equally confused at first pLEASE 😭 
lets say he speaks a little more fluffy than you at least, after all I’m assuming bc of the outfit that he’s from a fantasy-like place, and his replies can be a little fluffy like Teyvat’s residents, so he kinda fits in, kinda like everybody assumes he's just from another country when he gets to a new nation (at least that’s what I think happens??)
.
Like after (maybe Diluc?) Lisa, Kaeya, Venti, and Jean (who I think would all be knowledgeable, thru diff means, about this enough to maybe recognize the simpler speech = ancient god thing)
ALL reacted shocked as hell at hearing you talk, and would probably explain (or Paimon before then?) in that infuriatingly roundabout way, that you would usually skip a couple dialogue boxes just to avoid bc yOU ALREADY GOT THE POINT or alternatively WHATS THE POINT HERE?? JUST SAY IT, WHATS THE COMMISSION/QUEST FOR/WHAT DO I DO??
(Those blue highlights be savin my impatient life, and i actually like lore stuff 💀)
.
Oh that’s also another frustration. For you.
.
It would drive me crazy if I had to wait like,, 2-3 minutes for ppl to explain what they ate for dinner or sm shit
Like, now imagine that’s everyone, about everything.
You don’t know how anything gets done in battles or wars, like you need faster communication for that right??💀
.
Anyway, you, Aether and Paimon decide you just gotta not talk when you first meet people or like,, make sure you're gonna be around that person for a while so you don’t have to possibly get someone over the shock of your speech every time you guys talk to people 😭 that'd be so miserable I can already tell,,
Like at first, every convo ya’ll have had with people who recognize that direct speech trait as a thing, would take at least 10 minutes to finish talking about it/being shocked,,
It got so old so fast.
.
(Like I already can’t communicate that good with ppl irl bc I misunderstand them, or they do me, or they just dont get what I mean, and as my friends put it, which I think would fit here for any language shenanigans we go thru in Teyvat, "A Shakespearean level of misunderstanding, hilarious but such a downward spiral to watch, it just gets more and more ridiculous as it goes on...")
.
On another note, making fun of someone would be so fucking funny,
I’d like to give myself the benefit of the doubt that many characters, after getting used to your speech, would generally understand you (even if they always notice it, like an accent) and would actually rlly love hearing insults or even just generally how you would put things
(like maybe treating this almost like those vids of ppl with non-native english speaknig relatives/parents and its the most hilarious thing to watch them, usually get pissed 😭, at their kid, if u dont know what I mean look up on tiktok or smth)
And You just come off like those insults where you dont even use cuss words, you just like, drag queen read them into never showing their face again, and you did it in so few words!! 
They're amazed and oh, 
you've become the John Mulaney of Teyvat 
(Bad examples include:
Fontaine inventor: "...And I shall call my invention, crocks!"
You: "I wouldn't even be cremated in those." ) 
*Aether crying laughing in the background bc he never knows what you’re gonna say next, and Paimon's jaw dropped so hard
JFC this post is so long sorry, I probably will spam with a Part 2 but let me know if you’re interested in hearing more anyway!!
Thanks for reading this rambling!!
Or send in asks abt this 👀
Cheers,
🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘
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elasticbeach · 4 months
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Please tell me you are writing a part 3 to the breaking up with Shanks and it ends with a fluffy happy family
Part 3/ Breaking up with Shanks but realizing you still have feelings for him
Yall I didn’t even realise that I haven’t posted this 💀 this has been sitting in my drafts for waay too long, anyways thank you all for all the positive feedback, I feel like this part is written better than the first two. Anyways enjoy reading!
Warnings: None
Part 1/Part 2/ Part 3
You were standing in the kitchen while your little girl was having her usual afternoon nap, you were baking muffins just because, everyone loves muffins right? Actually your nerves were driving you crazy with every passing second and baking seemed to ease your nerves a little. Your mind raced with questions. Will there be a knock on your door? Or will the door be smashed entirely? Will he take your baby away from you? Will he even show up? Did he get scared and just decided to dump you entirely? Too many questions plagued your mind and while you stared outside the window deep in thought a knock brought you back to reality. Your head snapped at the sound of gentle knocks and your heart started racing. Slow steps getting you to the door, standing in front of it you were pretty sure your heart would explode as your heartbeat hammered loudly in your ears. Slowly you opened the door just to reveal the old lady next door. At this point this whole situation slowly started driving you mad. You had never experienced paranoia like this and had no idea how to deal with anxiety like that. After the lady left, you went to check on your daughter. She was peacefully sleeping in her crib, kneeling down next to her you brushed a few of her red locks out of her face. She really went after him, huh? you thought. Life still did not feel real, even when your daughter was born. you still felt like that young girl who just wanted some love and adventure. tears formed at the corners of your eyes, you miss him so much, it hurts.
A few days later you were laying on the beach trying to enjoy some sun while your daughter slept under the small tent you put up. Your mind did clear a bit at the ocean breeze and the warm sun tanning your skin. You almost fell asleep yourself, till you heard it "PIRATES!!" someone screamed in panic. You quickly sat up and looked at the horizont, that’s when you saw it, his ship. The ship you spent years on, before settling down. You quickly put a robe over your body and grabbed your daughter, you didnt even bother standing uo or trying to flee. Just pressing her against you and closing your eyes, anticipating the worst. A few minutes passed, you were too afraid to open your eyes. You heard steps approaching and thats when you opened your eyes. "Long time no see, ____" you sighed to embarrassed to even look his way. You heard him coming closer. "Please dont take her from me.." you whispered in a weak voice. You heard him sit down next to you. "I would never." he said in a serious tone and thats when you finally looked at him. His face carried a frown while his eyes showed sadness. He was hurt you could tell, tears formed once again. "Im so sorry..I really am." You said and sobbed. “Shh” He immediately started calming you down while rubbing your shoulder. You sobbed again before sniffing and calming your nerves a little, you looked at Shanks again. “You’re still just as beautiful.” He said with that smile of his, no mischief or lie in his eyes. It was the first thing he decided to say, nothing about the daughter and not how mad or disappointed he is but this. He called you beautiful, making you tear up again. He chuckled “Stop crying, you always make that funny face when you cry.” That made you chuckle a bit making you sniff and carefully hand him his daughter. Without a word he took the little girl looking at her little face. The little girl was inspecting her father for a few seconds before crying and wiggling, scared of the unfamiliar man. “I’m sorry, should’ve called earlier.” You started as he handed you your daughter with a light smile, as you started rocking the infant you continued to speak “ I was just so scared, I didn’t think it was necessary. No, that’s wrong..I was sceptical if you would even care you know? And it was just nerve wracking, because what if you took her from me??” You started sobbing troughout half of your monologue. “Calm down now you two crybabies.” He interrupted you with a smirk. “How come the two most important women of my life are crying because of me?” He chuckled a bit, again loosening the atmosphere again. “I’m sorry” You repeated, sobbing and wiping your tears with your shoulder, still having your daughter in your arms. Her crying stopped by now and she was inspecting Shanks from a distance now. “It’s okay.” Shanks says smiling at his daughter and then at you. “Must’ve been scary going trough all of this alone?” Shanks asks and you nod. You two spend up to three hours talking about casual stuff, him telling you about the adventures you missed. You telling him everything he missed of his daughters life and said daughter warming up to her daddy enjoying his company.
“I’ll walk you to your home.” Shanks said as you started packing. You didn’t even try to protest, because you know you want him to. You want his affection and attention, want him to stay. Forever. “Thanks” You flash him a smile before laying your daughter in her crib and the two of you start walking. And this image of the two of you, it brings you peace. It feels so normal, so natural. You probably look like a normal family walking back from the beach, everything feels so right, if only it had been like that since the first day. Your thoughts are interrupted by his voice. “So how are we handeling this whole situation?” You shrug, really not having a clue how to answer “I’m definitely not taking the two of you onto the ship, that’s way too dangerous. Just stay here, I will visit from time to time. You should call me more often, I want to hear more about your life. Maybe we aren’t lovers anymore, but we should at least keep in touch, we do have a kid together.” He chuckles after the statement, most definitely hiding how he actually feels, you know him too well to not notice. “Yeah, sounds good.” You reply, because you know that it’s over for the two of you. Even if he still loves you how could he possibly still want to be with you, a liar and coward that doesn’t even know what she wants.
Back home you bathe your daughter together and then you rock her asleep. As you slowly close the door to the nursery and walk to the kitchen he’s already waiting at the door. “Well, I think I will get going for now let’s meet tomorrow again, with the crew as well.” He rubs his neck as he speaks “I thought you were staying dor dinner” your voice getting more quiet troughout your statement. “I can stay??” He seems surprised and happily sits down at the dinnig table. You smile a bit and start preparing something small for the two of you. Dinner is nice, you talk a bit here and there but it’s mostly quiet, not an awkward quiet more of a enjoying each other’s company quiet. You would look up a few times, looking at his strong hands as he cuts the meat or how he licks his lips after each bite. You would lie if you said you didn’t miss the way his hands touched you or the way his lips kissed you and licked-. You stopped yourself right there, these times were long gone. You shoud just stop thinking about him in this way, he’s just the father of your daughter, you ex-boyfriend that YOU broke up with. “You alright?” You look up a bit confused. “You haven’t touched the food in like a minute just staring at it.” He looks at you just as confused. “I was just lost in thought, sorry.” You crack a smile and keep eating. You two finish eating in silence and he helps you clean up after.
“Well, see you tomorrow then?” He says as he steps over the door step. “Yeah.” You look up at him. You two look in each others eyes, seeing the desire, the love for each other. He leans down and presses a quick kiss on your cheeck. “Goodnight” He smiles. “Goodnight.” You smile back and close the door, you lean against the closed door and slide it down smiling like a fool.
The next morning you woke up a bit late. Your daughter was crying all night so you didn’t get all that much sleep. Rubbing your face with cold water you hear a knock. Drying your face and walking over to the door you slowly open expecting Shanks. As he looks upon your figure he immediately notices your tired appearance, while you still wear your Pjs. “You alright?” He asks as he steps inside. “Do I look that bad?” You chuckle a bit closing the door behind him. “No, not really. Just a bit..worn out.” The two of you chuckle. You lead Shanks to his daughter that is still asleep in your bed, since she refused to sleep away from you. “Look at her, didn’t let you sleep all night and now she’s snoozing away.” You smile at his statement, seeing how lovingly he looks at his daughter. “I wish I would’ve seen more of her and you..pregnant.” He looks over at you. You two share neutral expressions as you look at each other, both of you unsure how to handle the situation. You look down at the floor and sigh. “Look, I’m really sorry about everything-“ “Don’t, I understand.” He interrupts you. “No, please let me finish. Just listen to me please.” You sigh again and start talking. “I did NOT know of my pregnancy when I left and that wasn’t the reason I left. I just always dreamed of domestic life, but I also always knew that with you it would be impossible. But I don’t know what’s gotten into me when I left I was I don’t know..” You take a short pause to swallow the lump in your throat. “Maybe it were the pregnancy hormones or whatever but I need you to know that. I still love you and never stopped, I thought it was the better thing for me to leave and try to forget you but how could I? You are the love of my life Shanks. I don’t know if you could ever forgive me for taking your daughter from you, but I just need you to know that I love you. I never stopped loving you.” Tears stain your cheeks by the time you are finished and when you sob and look up you see him standing in front of you. The two of you fall into a long embrace. Hugging each other, with you just crying into his shirt. “Now calm down, I never stopped loving you either.” The two of you keep on hugging. He then pushes you away a bit just to capture your lips in a long kiss. You never felt so much joy in your life as his lips touched yours, everything else didn’t seem important anymore and you just forgot about those months of separation in this moment. You two parted for air and looked into each others eyes when suddenly a crying noise from your daughter captures your attention. “I will take care of her in the living room, get some sleep.” He smiled and wiped some of your tears. “I love you Shanks.” “I love you too.”
Repost are appreciated <3
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ask-sister-solaris · 6 months
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sjsndbd you can keep sending me asks i literally do not mind them i love your ideas sm. you're actually helping with muse it's insane.
But since you insist, i had an idea in mind, and then i forgot, and then i saw your reblog and remembered again so !!
could i possibly get another egon x reader (i literally love egon i am not sorry about this) where the reader is a little bit religiously traumatized and they have a call there, but they physically cannot step into the church bc 1) their family went to this church, and 2) everything is coming back after almost forgetting about everything so egon has to comfort them.
Sorry if that's a little dark but that's me being angsty 💀
*rubs hands together* I also have religious trauma so les goooo
“I promise you’re okay Dove”
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Egon Spengler x Reader
Warnings: angst, religious trauma, implied 🍇
Panic set in even before you’d gotten into the Ecto 1. The call you’d received was from a church, the Catholic Church to be precise. The one your parents attended when you were young. Egon knew you didn’t like churches somewhat but he thought it was just because you were a scientist and you didn’t believe the stupid bible stories.
You took your meds and got into the Ecto 1 all kitted up and ready. As Ray pulled up to the church your stomach did flips and suddenly you were back to your 7 year old self.
You were only young, seven years old nearly 8. Your parents were taking you to Easter service at the church near your apartment. You were dressed up in a pretty blue dress with a little bow at the back and your hair curled. You never understood why exactly this was so important but you enjoyed the free chocolate.
Of course you’d never worn a dress of this style to church. It came to your knees and was very poofy and femme. The dresses you usually wore were ankle length, and a peachy colour. You didn’t argue though because good girls never argued. As you approached the church the pastor was welcoming everyone, and though you nor your parents saw, he was eyeing you up.
You sat beside your parents and swung your little legs as the ceremony began. You were old enough to volunteer with the little show they put on and let kids get involved with. Of course you begged your parents and it didn’t take much for them to allow you to. The service itself went smoothly, afterward while children were allowed to play outside on the clear patch of grass and adults were sat around picnic tables talking, the pastor called you over into the church. He told you that you looked very pretty in your dress and that he knew God intended you to find a man soon.
This confused you because you were only 7 and boys were so blehhhhh. But you just nodded and smiled and turned to leave. The pastor asked you if you could show him your stockings because they looked so pretty and you foolishly agreed. You thought nothing of it and never mentioned it to your parents. And that’s how it continued every Easter service up until you were 15 and finishing up school.
He tried to get you to strip, going as far as to drag you into the confessional booth and rip your dress. Without going into to much depth he had his way with you and only after you were able to escape and run out screaming and crying. Your dress was in shreds, you were a mess makeup running down your cheeks, and all your parents said was, “you shouldn’t have been tempting him with how short your dress was”
You hadn’t moved from your seat in the Ecto one for a good five minutes, tears were streaming down your cheeks your breathing heavy. Egon told the others to go ahead and he would catch up. They agreed and he waited for you to calm down and come back to the real world. They had things in the car for if Egon ever had a panic attack. He grabbed a sugary drink and something sour for you and that helped you come back to the present.
He held your hand gently and you looked at him. His heart broke seeing how upset you looked. “It’s okay now my dove, I promise you it’s okay Dove”
When the ghost was contained and you were safely in Egons baggy clothes in his bed swaddled up with your favorite drink and snacks Egon put his favorite music on and worked on some paperwork at the desk inside the bedroom. Not even Venkman had cracked a joke about the church, and that was rare.
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inthepeakymidwinter · 2 years
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Teach Me. (Thomas Shelby x Reader)
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Summary: Y/N is a secretary dealing with the usual creepiness of being a woman in a male dominated workplace. *cough* Thomas Shelby to the rescue. *cough* TW: Drinking Word Count: 1225 (It was a Thomas fic I couldn't skimp on this obvi) A/N:(This might be one of the last stories I keep up with. I LOWKEY might have arthritis so this was the one thing I wanted to work on tonight before I die at work tomorrow and have no more energy for the rest of the week 💀 anyway ENJOY!! I still wanna write more of this because its so cute and i can tell it will get STEAMYY) Tags: @globetrotter28 @theshelbyclan
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It had been three weeks since the start of my new job as Secretary of Shelby Company LTD. I was doing what I knew how to do best. Calling clients, scheduling appointments, working with the rest of the girls in the back to help coordinate others schedules and get ready for all the big meetings the Shelby boys were in. I knew nothing about horses or gambling but that was okay, Polly told me everything I needed to know between meetings and somehow, I was able to keep up.
After spending 9 hours sorting through old mail and calling to make appointments, I was ready to end my day. I was tired of the Shelby boys coming up to my desk just to make crude remarks and then walk away. Between the “are you working hard or barely working?” comments and the weird “I’m better now that you’re here” flirtations I was ready to give up the job I needed most but the girls that worked with me just told me to tell them to “fuck off”. I was too kind to be able to do that and not feel guilt for it. The only Shelby that truly treated me like a human was Thomas. He was the middle brother and the most professional. I admired his work ethic, and how he would put pressure on the other boys to be more professional.
It was almost time for closing the shop when a man in a dark coat walked in. He had the familiar peaky blinder cap on, and I immediately sighed. It was probably Arthur, the oldest of the Shelby boys. He usually came in to take a bit of cash and go gamble at the fighting matches on the corner. I continued to file my paperwork as normal until I heard footsteps walk up to my desk and I sat straight up to look at him. It wasn’t Arthur like I thought it was. In fact, it turned out to be Thomas.  He took off his cap to reveal his dark hair and short sides, a typical cut for the peaky blinders. “Do you have any clue where the rest of the papers are for my newest horse?” He asked me in a frustrated tone. I thought to myself about where I put his papers and then the location finally dawned on me. “They’re…uh- in your desk sir… I put them in the middle drawer on the right” I stuttered. He saw right through me and his eyes glimmered. He thanked me quickly and started to walk away, but it looked as if something bothered him deeply. I saw him stop in his tracks and turn towards me once more.
“Y/N…Come to my office when your done” He requested. I gave him a gentle nod but on the inside my heart had just leapt out of my chest at his request. After my anxiety spiraled for a few moments, I finally got the courage to go up to his office. One half of me was convinced I was going to be fired but the other half of me said I needed to pull myself up by the weak straps on my black mary janes and storm into his office unafraid.
When I finally brought myself into his office, I was surprised by the view of two glasses of some brownish alcohol sitting neatly at his desk. “Y/N, please… make yourself comfortable” Mr. Shelby stood up from his black leather office chair and gestured to the seat in front of his desk. I held my breath and walked over to the chair in front of his desk. I pulled at the edges of my skirt before neatly sitting down and crossing my legs. I watched Mr. Shelby begin to sip his drink before sitting down after me. “So what’s this I hear about Arthur stealing from the safe?” He raised his right eyebrow and looked at me for answers with his oceanic blue eyes. I sunk in my seat and frustratingly brushed my forehead. “Mr. Shelby, I don’t want to get in your private busine-“ “Y/N if there’s something you know…It’s best that you tell me” He raised his voice at first but calmed down the second I looked up at him.
“Mr. Shelby…I don’t want to tell you because he makes…advancements...and I really don’t want to get on his bad side” I sighed deeply and looked down at the floor.
“Advancements?” Thomas asked with both eyebrows up this time. “Uh-…Unwanted…romantic advancements” I murmured. He chuckled for a moment and drank from his glass once more. “Y/N, that’s just Arthur. Actually, that’s probably half of the Shelby boys. Tell you what…I’ll tell him off if you just tell me what’s going on, eh? Deal?” Thomas bargained.
I gave him a sheepish nod and spoke up, “I see him every Friday…leaving from the safe and when I walk home at night…I see him at the fights around the corner.” Thomas nodded and took a deep breath. “Thank you, Y/N,” He thanked and reached for the second glass of alcohol. “Drink with me, yeah?” He asked. I took the glass in my hands and asked him what it was. He paused for a moment to look in my eyes and he realized that I was asking him a genuine question and not joking. “It’s whiskey” He smiled. “There’s a lot you don’t know, eh?” Thomas asked me as I put the drink up to my lips.
“Only some” I spoke and decided to take a big swig of the liquid. Almost immediately it felt like I was on fire, and I started choking on the bitterness of the drink. “Easy, Y/N” Thomas raced over and got me a glass of water from his beverage cart on the left side of the room. He handed it to me, and I grabbed it like it was my last drink on earth. I coughed one last time and placed the drinks on his desk.  
“Mr. Shelby…I do know some things…I know a lot about being a secretary…and I also know that I won’t be drinking again” I chuckled. He smiled softly at me and ran his hands through his hair. “Y/N how old are you? I don’t think you told me when we hired you” Mr. Shelby questioned and sat back down at his chair. I began to comfortably shift in my chair and looked at Mr. Shelby. His eyes met mine and my face flushed. He was similar to me in that he dressed quite professionally every time I saw him around the office. His coat always matched the color of his suits and there was never a day that went by where he didn’t say goodbye to me. “I’m 22, Mr. Shelby” I answered him.
“Well…you have a lot to learn, Y/N” He spoke low and took another drink.
“and I would say…You have a lot to teach Mr. Shelby” I flirted. I don’t know what got into me with that drink, but it was exuding a certain confidence in me that I had never felt before. Thomas smirked at my reply and drank once more. “So I’ll teach you then” His smile matched mine and I felt my cheeks heat up. I could tell this was not going to end well for the both of us.
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smilesrobotlover · 4 months
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Odyssey notes I took while reading the odyssey since I finished it!:
Imagine surviving the sea, monsters, and curses, and how you die is by breaking your neck LMAO. I guess that’s the nicest way to die compared to the others I guess 💀
Odysseus seeing his mom in the underworld nearly brought me to TEARS HE COULDNT HUG HER AUGHHUFHFHFJHFJ
Dang Scylla is pretty terrifying. Poor Odysseus, couldn’t save his men :c
Can the men listen to Odysseus, for FIVE SECONDS
he probably needed that sleep so bad.
Also those mfs just left him 💀
POSEIDON NEEDS TO COOL HIS TITS!!! HIS GRUDGE AGAINST ODYSSEUS IS GETTING OLD!!!! Bro was gone for like, 17-20 years and he lost everyone, almost died, and was prisoner to Calypso for 7 years. Leave him alone dawg
The freaking fact that Odysseus couldn’t recognize Ithaca and just assumed that he was on an island of monsters or somethin makes me so sad bruh. He’s been through so much that he just can’t accept that he’s back home. Even when Athena herself telling him he’s home he JUST can’t believe it. This man needs so much therapy omg
How did homie come up with that elaborate backstory under his disguise??? Why is Odysseus so extra???
Also that fake backstory kinda paralleled his own. Very loosely but it’s neat.
I bet it was so hard not to sob right in front of Telemachus as soon as he saw him. Odysseus was using all his strength to fight against the tears.
Also Odysseus and Telemachus reuniting also nearly brought me to tears. I am not ok
“On hearing this Telemachus smiled to his father, but so that Eumaeus could not see him.” PLEASE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH AKSHDKSBSKSBSK
“Penelope came out of her room looking like Diana or Venus, and wept as she flung her arms around her son. She kissed his forehead and both his beautiful eyes, “Light of my eyes,” she cried as she spoke fondly to him” 🥺🥺🥺🥺 this is making me touch starved lmao. Oh to have everyone kiss my head and shoulders when I return home. Also love seeing momma Penelope
Penelope 🤝 Odysseus
Crying a lot
“As soon as he saw Odysseus standing there, he dropped his ears and wagged his tail, but he could not get close up to his master. When Odysseus saw the dog on the other side of the yard, he dashed a tear from his eyes without Eymaeus seeing it…” WHAT IF I CRIIIIIIIIIEEEEED 😭😭😭😭 HIS DOGGO
NOOOO ARGOS!!!!!!!!!!!! 😭😭😭 he died as soon as he saw Odysseus. He was able to see him one last time. I am unwell
“As she spoke Telemachus sneezed so loudly that the whole house resounded with it” THAT IS THE MOST RANDIM THING TO ADD IN THERE HSKDBSKSBSK. It’s so cute tho 😭😭😭 oh Telemachus you’re Adorable. And his momma laughed. Aww.
Nvm Telemachus’s sneeze was apparently an omen that the suitors will die lmao. This story just has things Happen
Telemachus: *sneezes*
Penelope: this is a sign that the suitors will die
Eymaeus: what
Odysseus has THUNDER THIGHS
“This was what she said, and Odysseus was glad when he heard her trying to get presents out of the suitors, and flattering them with fair words which he knew she did not mean.” HE LOVES HIS WIFE!!!!
“…I believe the light had not been coming from the torches, but from his own head—for his hair is all gone, every bit of it.”
Did this mf just make a bald joke 💀
Me and my homies hate the maids and suitors
Also Penelope rocks. Deceiving everyone cuz she doesn’t want to get married to those douche bags. Pop off queen. Poor lady, forced to get married :((
Odysseus trying not to cry upon talking to his wife after years 😭😭😭 that dude is TOUGH
Odysseus: oh yeah, I met Odysseus. He was wearing fancy clothes and was hot af.
Odysseus is trying so hard to convince Penelope that he’s coming home. Ough… sweet man
Ok so Odysseus was officially gone for 20 years. Ok Coolio. Yikes
Bro went on a huge tangent about the boar. It’s neat to hear about but sheesh.
Penelope had a dream that explicitly told her that Odysseus was coming home to kill the suitors and she’s like “can you interpret it for me?” I assume she’s trying to mess with Odysseus, cuz even tho he’s in disguise, she’s sensing something with him.
Oh she knows Odysseus is somewhere. Why is she setting up a tournament that only Odysseus could do now?? She knows…. She knows….
Book XX: Odysseus cannot sleep. What else is new?
Odysseus’s name meaning anger is starting to make sense now that he’s home and wanting to murder people out of anger. I guess the fact that he pisses everyone off to is also an indicator of that 💀
Oh the Odysseus and Penelope parallel augh
Odysseus is just brooding all the time huh
I like the idea that Telemachus is very timid and soft spoken. Everytime he speaks against the suitors they’re always surprised; now that he’s older with Athena and his father by his side, he’s beginning to break out of this shell and become more bold. It’s neat for his character. wonder how he’d feel about himself compared to his lion-hearted father
Telemachus is sooo cuuuuute he tried to do that trial for his momma… he was so excited too. My son
Love how Odysseus is absolutely JACKED. Just super strong. An absolute tank. Love him
“Eurymachus,” Penelope answered, “people who persist in eating up the estate of a great chieftain and dishonoring his house must not expect others to think well of them.” EAT EM UP PENELOPE!
I FREAKING LOVE THE ARROW SCENE. GO ODYSSEUS GO
I guess people in Ancient Greek times just killed each other without any thought lmao. I have a feeling that it’s less about the law and more about the revenge that would fall upon you if you killed someone. It was satisfying to read the suitors and maids die tho. Heck yeah
Athena is a great wing man. Just making Ody hot and godlike
Love Penelope testing Odysseus to make sure it was him. Very good. She’s a very cunning women indeed
OUGHHHH THEYRE HUGGING HDBSBSKSBSKSBSKSBSSKSBKWKW 😭😭😭😭
Gosh. The love and chemistry between Odysseus and Penelope is so strong, even tho they’re barely together in the story. Like, it’s interesting to hear how much love they poured into each other that night, (especially compared to Circe and Calypso. Odysseus clearly did not love them.) and then they talked and explained their times away from each other. Augh they’re so in love 😭😭😭
Odysseus just tell your father that you’re home why are you LIKE THIS
WHY ARE YOU MAKING UP ANOTHER ELABORATE BACKSTORY JUST TELL HIM WHO YOU ARE
Dang, that was an abrupt ending. But why did Athena like… tell Odysseus’s father to kill the guy and then told them not to kill each other lmao. Idk. But overall yay. Interesting how Odysseus didn’t listen at first. I think he’s truly changed since his adventure
Something I noticed was that Odysseus was probably a very happy and joyful man. He had family and friends, a wife and a newborn son. He treated everyone fairly and with kindness and everyone adored him for it. But after his adventure, he seemed far more somber and angry. Sad change of character, but ultimately he didn’t change too much. I love him. I enjoyed that WAAYYYY more than I thought I would. Sure the writing was different than what I was used to—there was so much yapping and tangents and metaphors—but it wasn’t impossible to follow! I’ve read difficult stories from Shakespeare to scriptures and this was an overall easy read. The culture of Ancient Greece is very…. Strange to me, but it’s always neat to see differences in cultures, no matter how uncomfy it makes me feel. Love how both Odysseus and Penelope remained faithful to each other and cried over each other a lot. They got married for a reason <3 and Telemachus my son. He’s so precious. Good good story I enjoyed that a lot
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fantomette22 · 1 year
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And here’s a bloodborne crows headcanons drawing no one ask for!
Yeah I headcanons that some characters used to have some pet crows but it’s mostly a references for my fic verse too.
So I don’t have names for all the crows but I have a couple of ideas already. If you have ideas too pls share I’m listening.
Let’s begin with Cainhurst! 🛡️
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📚🦉Ok Beltran from the cut content! Not sure he’s still alive during old hunters time but basically I imagined he was the (first?) crow master of Cainhurst.
🐦‍⬛⚔️Vledemyr my oc, my fav cainhurst knight! The current crow master. (Maria & Annalise’s cousin too) He was the one in charged of them before he become captain of the royal guard, he actually have lots of them (and they all love him a lot) but his very first crow is Corvus, the crow on his shoulder.
👑🕊️Ok so Annalise was offered an Albino crow, because she’s the princess and future Queen you see. *Check notes* hm Yuki is a possible name but idk either smt Japanese or slavic who mean snow or fit with cainhurst aesthetic idk.
👑🐦‍⬛ Ah Charles (oc based on the cainhurst portrait too, king consort when Annalise was Queen). So when he marry her and was crowned he was offered a baby leucistic crow (that’s why it’s brown, it’s a loose of melanine like albinism bur not complete the the eyes aren’t red or the skin pink for exemple), he was so confused about it like you can see XD probably except a hound or smt (in his dream he would have wish for a lion but there’s no lions at Cainhurst since like 60+ years or smt)
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🐦‍⬛🌕🐦‍⬛Maria have 2-3 crows (the ones at the research hall you know 😢 minus the one with the guidance rune that belong to Ludwig like you can see) As for the names I was hesitating between Hugin & Munin (Odin’s crows) or Phobos & Deimos (Mars’moon) for the 2 crows siblings (well I hc Maria study astronomy so… heheh also her third one is the one German is holding x) yeah missing a leg I know. Ok also after Maria passed away the crows escape from the research hall and freak Gehrman out! They wanted to say to him hello or called his named and because crows can mimics sound and voices they took Maria’s voice 💀 he thought he was going crazy for a few mins before he found them… but really it annoyed more Laurence XD the crows really went to harass him (they know what’s up. Or didn’t take well he put them in cages or smt, or you know because of Maria. It got to the point Laurence almost wanted them dead 💀
Fortunately Gehrman managed to made them go with the very first official hunter of hunter, he passed to him the mercy blade as well.
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🐥Ah Voron my boy! Aka future bloody crow🩸🐦‍⬛ (No I am not detailing the entire backstory here! And yes his name means raven/crow I KNOW!) also the red of the cap don’t appear much sorry… thanks the scan.
✨+Svetta another Cainhurst oc based the painting with her crow, Voron mom yes. Vledemyr is his dad.
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👁️I managed to put Micolash & Edgar on the page XD
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💣🔥 Ah this one well when we first got into the hunter nightmare there’s a hunter before a gate right? Behind there’s a crow and I noticed the crow attacked the beasts but the hunter and the bird never attacked each other (only the hunter or beast) that’s why I now headcanons that many old hunters had crows too like this one.
🗡️🌕Ludwig & his crow with the guidance rune. One day the old hunters found many dead crows in the forest, not a good sign… Ludwig managed to recover a baby crow an care for it (he was so panicked at first he asked Maria for help so many times XD)
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🐦‍⬛Eileen and some crows & the very first official hunter of hunters! (Before her)
🐦‍⬛The friendly crow of hemwick on the top left :3 I hc it’s either the crow bloody crow had or one link with Eileen or either my own hunter.
As for the other names I had in mind : Hrafn, Karasu, Branagan (I think I’m keeping this one as the name of the first crow hunter too)
🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛🐦‍⬛
Now, you’re gonna ask me why didn’t I just named one « Kuro » (black color in Japanese) well, I’m keeping it for the horses’ names of Cainhurst!!!!
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dreamingcloudie · 2 years
Note
Imagine akademiya! Dottore tutoring child! reader, who forgets almost everything he says. so he teaches you for atleast 3 hours and he asks you one question, you didn't remember anything cause you we're thinking of what's his favorite food- 💀 (i'm currently craving for platonic dottore) -💐
❛❛ Troublesome Kiddo ❜❜
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✎ ❛❛ Kid, pay attention to me, will you? ❜❜
Pairing(s): Akademiya!Dottore & Child!GN!Reader (PLATONIC)
Genre/Format: Crackfic (Drabble)
Warning(s): Use of Dottore's (speculated) real name
wc: 534
Notes: Hello 💐 Anon! This is so cute omg. I could imagine Akadamiya Dottore being so done with kiddo (Y/n) LMAO. I wasn't sure if this is a request or not but I couldn't resist to write a little something for it, as soon as i read this a bunch of ideas just came out of no where 💀 I'm sorry if it's short!
⚠️ Also I'm sorry for those who are still waiting for me to finish the 100+ followers event prompts. I'll get to them as best as I can 😭
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Zandik—as one of the top students in the Akademiya, his achievements were widely spread in Sumeru. Wherever he went, whether it be on the bustling streets or at a store, people would often praise him for his enviable intelligence.
However, despite his genius of a mind, was someone who unironically struggled with mora. With how many assignments were piled up on his desk and the hunger to conduct experiments, he didn’t have the time to really find a suitable job.
So who was he to refuse when one of the citizens ran up to him and asked him to tutor her child? He was about to deny but was cut off when the person said she was willing to pay him a ransom. Taking a glance at the child beside the pleading mother, they looked no older than probably ten years old.
How hard was it going to be to teach a kid basic math? And he was getting paid too! It was a win-win situation for him, only an idiot would refuse!
Now that he had agreed to help, he was beginning to contemplate if he had made the right decision as he sat next to the kid—(Y/n), who never seemed to run out of energy.
“Alright, so—”
“Mister, what is that blue glowy thing on your ear?” (Y/n) asked.
Zandik sighed for probably the fifteenth time today when he got cut off.
“That’s a—”
“Oh! I know! This is where you keep your, um, blueberry juice so you can drink it wherever you want!”
He was too tired to explain, honestly. So he decided to just go with what (Y/n) said.
“Yes, yes, you’re right. Now—”
“Or maybe you’re secretly a wizard and that’s your magic potion!”
Sigh.
“Alright, kid. How about we take a break and then you listen to me, okay?”
Then (Y/n) nodded happily which was a huge relief because they were still on the first chapter of the kiddo’s textbook.
Zandik soon came back with a plate of snacks for the ankle-biter and continued on with their tutoring session.
For the whole time while he was explaining how multiplication works, (Y/n) sat in silence as they munched on a chocolate chip cookie. While they remained quiet, he took that as a sign they were listening to him with how their eyes were staring at the textbook intently.
(Y/n) did try their best to listen, really. They were able to do that until ten minutes in, their mind wandered off to a land of singing Aranaras and floating food…
Food…
I wonder what's Mr. Zanny's favorite food. They thought to themselves.
Dangos… Potato Boat… Rose Custard—
“Okay, now that I’ve explained the method on how to solve this. I’ll ask you a question,” Zandik said. Breaking (Y/n) out of their daydream.
“So, what’s five times two?”
“Five times two? Two… Oh! That reminds me. Mommy gave me two apples for breakfast today! They are my favorite food!”
They continued, “What’s your favorite food, Mr. Zanny? You have blueberry juice with you so maybe… blueberry cupcakes? Or maybe even—”
This kid… Zandik thought as he grunted in defeat, drowning out (Y/n)’s ramblings.
Oh he didn’t get paid enough for this.
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navnae · 2 years
Text
My Boy (18+)
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: top Steve Harrington, bottom Eddie Munson, dom Eddie Munson, sub Steve Harrington, r!mming, face sitting, praise kink
Summary: Steve cums in Eddie and he has to clean it up
A/N: wish this had something to do with Valentine’s Day but I couldn’t come up with anything and this is so old 💀
-
When Eddie invited Steve over to spend the night that’s literally what he meant. He didn’t really know exactly how they ended up in his bed making out, maybe it was because of the weed and honestly he wasn’t keeping track. They’ve been together for a few months now so this wasn’t new for them. Being wrapped in each other’s in embrace was all they knew and since things were going well they kept it that way for awhile. Eddie loved the feeling of Steve’s hands rubbing all over him especially when he would get off work that’s when he became the neediest. Getting his hands on whatever part of Eddie’s body and worshiping it like he needed it to live. Their kisses were filled with moans that craved for the other person to take things a step further.
Eddie kept his hands in Steve’s hair as the kiss deepened. Steve rubbed the along the sides of Eddie’s waist letting his hands slip under his shirt and feeling his skin underneath his finger tips. Steve whined against Eddie’s lips when his bottom lip was in between Eddie’s teeth. A smirk played on his lips when he pulled away making Steve pout slightly.
“What do you want, baby boy?” Eddie asked softly. He cupped the side of Steve’s and his thumb caressed his cheek. Steve closed his eyes as he leaned into the touch. He took Eddie’s hand into his own and he placed gentle kisses on it before he met Eddie’s eyes again.
“I want to fuck you.” Steve managed to say innocently somehow. Eddie laughed lightly at how cute and sexy his boyfriend was then he took off his clothes making Steve be the only one fully clothed.
“Very good boy. You didn’t rush to take off your clothes like last time,” Eddie cooed. He rubbed the top of Steve’s head to show that he actually was proud of him. Eddie didn’t think he’d like having this much power over Steve but ever since the idea was brought up to him by Steve himself he’s never been the same since. Everything he wanted Steve to do he’d do it in an instant without even thinking about it and Eddie knew that it turned him on every time he did it and he loved every second of it. “Since you’ve been so patient, you can take your clothes off now.”
As if it was second nature Steve took off his clothes quickly and he waited for Eddie’s instructions. Eddie laid down on his back then spreading his legs wide open exposing his hole. Steve tried to have self control because he was tempted to destroy Eddie right then and there. Eddie took his own two fingers and he put them into his mouth coating them with his spit. He pulled them out as a string of it dripped onto Eddie’s bare stomach before he placed them near his entrance and he slowly inserted them inside. Steve watched him arch his back from off the bed as his moans echoes throughout the room. He knew Eddie’s fingers wasn’t going to be enough hand his cock was leaking with precum the more he thought about fucking Eddie into the mattress. After a few seconds Eddie took his fingers out and he was desperately clenching around nothing. He liked making Steve wait for awhile before he really got to enjoy what Eddie would allow but even now Eddie couldn’t wait any longer. He flipped himself over to get on all fours before he arched his back low. Steve almost cried out from the sight in front of him and Eddie being on full display like this turned his brain into mush.
“Don’t tell me you’re chickening out now big boy.” Eddie joked as he took his hands and he started spreading his ass cheeks making his hole stretch open. Steve was already on his knees within seconds to align himself with Eddie’s entrance his cock brushing against it made Eddie gasp. He felt Steve’s tip pushing deep inside of him while his hands held his hips while he thrusted slowly into Eddie.
Eddie buried his face into the sheets as Steve slammed his cock repeatedly into him. His own cock was hitting his stomach with every thrust while precum dropped onto the bed. Eddie cried out from Steve pushing his hips down further making his cock disappear fully inside of Eddie. His legs were shaking as he gripped the bedsheets tightly while subconsciously perking up his ass which put him at an angle and Steve hit the sensitive spot hard. Eddie could feel himself about to cum in any moment if Steve kept going on like this. He heard Steve whimpering behind him and his thrusters became more aggressive.
“Eddie I’m so close.” Steve whined. He kept going deeper and it didn’t seem like he was stopping any time soon.
“I know baby but you know I have to cum first. Just hold it for a little longer.” Eddie said firmly. For a second Steve was going to do what he was told but the way Eddie clenched around him tightly like he didn’t want to let him go. The sweet breathy moans that came from him when Steve had him in such a vulnerable position and he got to have his way with him. With those thoughts running through his head he sped up the pace of his hips. Eddie let out a high pitched moan at the feeling of Steve digging his nails into his sides.
“Steve don’t cu-“ Eddie felt a hand on the back of his neck pushing his face down into the bedsheets. He was kept in that position until Steve filled Eddie up with cum then he pulled out watching the cum go down Eddie’s thighs. Steve couldn’t breathe properly, seeing Eddie take all of his cum inside of him easily made his cock twitch. His excitement was short lived when Eddie laid on his back to face him and he looked disappointed.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t control myself. Please don’t punish me.” Steve pleaded. He hated getting punishments from Eddie because sometimes he was unfair and other times he liked seeing Steve become an absolute mess. Eddie leaned up with his finger sticking out to catch Steve’s chin.
“Now baby you know I have to punish you or you’ll think your behavior is tolerated and we can’t have that can we?” Eddie rubbed his finger under Steve’s chin softly earning a small no in response. Eddie smiled at and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Exactly, get on your back for me please.”
Steve listened and lied directly on his back bracing himself for whatever Eddie had in mind. Eddie got onto his knees on the bed then made his way near Steve’s head. He hovered himself over Steve his cock covering Steve’s face completely. Steve looked up to see Eddie’s hole above his face with his cum still coming out. Eddie smiled down at him as he pulled his hair for him to lean back, now they could see each other clearly.
“I want you to lick up the mess you made and you will not stop until I tell you to, okay?” Eddie asked. Steve nodded his head and he stuck out his tongue readily. Eddie lowered himself down slowly before something wet was going over his hole softly. He threw his head as Steve poked his tongue past his muscles and he clenched around it while the cum got onto his tastebuds. Steve placed his hands on both of Eddie’s thighs to push him down onto his face. He licked his hole greedily while moaning he loved that he was able to taste himself from Eddie and the beautiful moans that came from above him made his entire world spin. Steve nuzzled his nose into Eddie’s balls capturing the sweet scent of body wash that he’s given him recently. Eddie tugged on his hair and smothered him in between his legs he didn’t really care if Steve could breath or not
“You like this punishment don’t you? Eating your cum out of my pretty pink hole. Fuck you’re being such a good boy Steve.” Eddie laughed lightly in between a moan. Steve swirled his tongue over Eddie’s hole hungrily and he sucked on his rim to let all of him cum go into his mouth almost making Eddie empty. Eddie moved his hips back and forth while he stroked himself above Steve’s head. His precum decorated Steve’s forehead as he wrapped his hand tightly around his base. Eddie thrusted onto his hand letting shameless moans escape his lips when hit white substance shot out onto the bed. Steve whined when Eddie shakily got up and stopped him from continuing.
“Don’t worry baby you’ll get to do that again real soon.” Eddie said softly before he kissed Steve on the lips.
“I really hope so.” Steve snuggled up next to Eddie and they wrapped their arms around each other as their eyes got heavy
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lipglossanon · 1 year
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for the first time in too damn long of a time my brain had a full fledged thought last night 👏 👏 👏
let’s say reg stepdad leon, m’kay, mom is home for once reader sneaks out goes somewhere with her friends gets all dressed up in a risqué outfit because she knows her parents will know when she sneaks out and she wants leon to see her so she does just that. her parents find out she’s gone, she didn’t even try to hide it, and her mom is like leon can you go and get her because she got a call from work, so he does, and you notice the car that pulled up in front of your friends as being his and start flirting with some of the guys in your group because duh, piss him the fuck off, and be a brat, finally when leon is done stalking you around he approaches and takes you back home. now mom is packing to leave for a trip and confiscates your phone handing it to leon (a surprise tool that will help us later 😉) so you’re mad and that night your mom is gone and leon has your phone so you pull out your old phone knowing the accounts are still synced and everything will appear on the phone Stepdaddy Leon™️ has and you ask your friends to hang out and you sneak out again and leon follows you, you decide to be ballsy because you’re mad and you suck off one of the guys in your friend group in the parking lot you met in the other day while making eye contact with the windshield of leon’s car knowing it’s pissing him off so when he comes and gets you later and you see where you spit earlier it makes you aware that you’re going to be stuck in the car with him but he doesn’t do anything or mention it he just takes you home and let’s you go to your room,,,,,, so you do, and you pull out your old phone again knowing anything you take will be on the phone leon has and you take plenty of nudes and videos to just piss him off so he’s extra mean to you and boy is he mad but not mad enough to interrupt you walking in on him in the couch jacking off to the video you took merely minutes ago 🤭
sorry i rushed the end i’ve been trying to condense my thoughts into single serving slices instead of just fucking rambling <3
- 💀
(but because i’m a rambler it was gonna end like,,,, stepdaddy leon balls deep in you while also fingering you and using his thumb to rub your clit like you’re on your stomach and he’s behind you on his knees with his legs in between yours, spreading them while your ankles/calves are smooshed between his thighs and calves while he has you pushed down into the bed and is fingering you with the other hand while just railing you 😩 i was also thinking like if it was dark!stepdaddy leon, seeing you suck off some other guy because you’re mad you got your phone taken away man, i’m exposing myself here lol, what if he wore rings 👀 and got a lighter and branded the reader 🫣 is that too far? or a more tame one like shoving a dildo down your throat while he fuck you
💀 anon, you and 🐶 anon are almost too spicy for my inbox 🤭 🤭 (keyword, almost)
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I love the idea of being a brat to stepdad!Leon 😩 I have a brat taking fic coming up (at some point lmao). I just have a hard time with it cause I am too much of a goody two shoes 😂 so it’s hard to get in the brat mindset haha
And give me your unhinged thoughts, friend. If you wanna write it with branding, then do it 🤭 maybe.. maybe dark!stepdad could pierce her, like as another way to show he owns her now 👀 👀 just tossing ideas around 🤭
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