#‘out of my way witch.’ KNOCKOUT

[fahye]

i’ve gotten a few book recs from your blog over the last few years so i was wondering, what new books are you looking forward to this year?

frantically answering this one on release day for some of the books on this list, scraping in under the wire, etc.

* asterisk means I've already read it because of the joys of ARCs.

*SOME DESPERATE GLORY by emily tesh. aspects of military sci-fi, aspects of [redacted for spoilers], aspect of alienfucking, protagonist with strong azula-from-avatar vibes (she's the worst, I would die for her). very queer and very clever and will rip your spine out and fill you up with emotions. it's gonna win a hugo and become a modern classic. guaranteed.

SOMETHING SPECTACULAR & MORTAL FOLLIES both by alexis hall. both are regency romances, one with genderfluid & agender protags, the other one is sapphic and involving fairies I think?? maybe witches?? don't know don't care, I'll devour anything alexis hall cares to serve me.

*THE FIRST BRIGHT THING by j.r. dawson. if you enjoyed the aesthetics of the night circus but wish it had more polyamory, sapphics, time travel, examinations of trauma, found family and post-ww1 americana: this is for you. it's such a wonderful, chewy, compassionate book. about magical circuses.

KNOCKOUT by @sarahmaclean. I love sarah's current 'hell's belles' historical romance series so much and this one is the romance with IMOGEN who is an EXPLOSIVES EXPERT, so I expect it to blow my socks off in several different ways. can't wait.

*STARLING HOUSE by alix e. harrow. southern gothic! feral gremlin girl meets house and is NOT impressed! feral gremlin girl meets glowering gremlin boy and is even LESS impressed! buried sins, the grind of poverty, terrible houses that want your blood. I read this in almost a single sitting and I had the time of my fucking life.

*THE DEATH I GAVE HIM by em x. liu. locked room murder mystery sci-fi hamlet retelling!! exactly as amazing as it sounds. another one that I flew through in a single sitting. features science, deception, transhumanism, and some unreasonably sexy AI-interfacing.

[reallifetangent]

Realization 2.0 (Cat King x Edwin Payne)

I really tried writing something, this is one of the two attempts. English is not my main language, and I also have to translate Ir(me) → Spanish → English → Making Sense in English. I didn't actually finish this one, so, have this draft. Sorry if it disappoints.

-------

Based on the idea of How did Cat King react when he got back the bracelet. Technically is a One Sided Catwin, happens in the events of the series.

-------

A loud noise surrounded in flames showed in front of his bed. Cat King (or Thomas) had been resting, after a whole night of chasing that stiff ghost, revealing the plan of that witch. Also deleting from his mind the rejection he suffered. It hurt more than anything he had ever experienced. Edwin put him in his place, he'd give him that. The thing between them was just the bracelet. Other than that, Edwin had no reasons to be around him.

Back to the noise, he looked from his upside down near the border of the bed at the piece. Wanted to believe his eyes were lying. Wanted to think it was just a joke. It was impossible. Got up and turned to take a better look, still at distance, and the closest cat got the message, leaving via one of the windows of that old warehouse. Thomas got up, fixed his fluffy coat and picked up the metallic piece with a cat shape. "You clever ghost", tried to lie to himself. Wanted to believe it was another part of their game. Edwin would come in, proud and stiffed, claiming that he found another way to get rid of the attachment. Thomas hurt Edwin's pride and autonomy when he paid back the little spell the ghost boy put on one of his cats. Last night, Edwin hurt Thomas back, reminding him he was nothing, and no matter what, he would never change his mind about him. Now he could give the knockout and show himself, maybe to prove once again he was one step ahead, or that he would always find a way, like any other of his cases. And that was what Thomas found so attractive and magnetic about him. Those egocentric moments where Payne found and put himself above everyone because of course he would be right. He was always right.

He saw and sensed the marks or forcing the bracelet, all failed, the lock never gave up. Some tracks of useless spells that didn't help him either. No gadget or trinket from Magic Mick would be at his level. He really tried everything to get away from it, didn't he? Thomas wanted to believe, again, that it was just an attack against losing his autonomy and escaping the... Night Nurse? and Death from coming after him and his violent pal. Not Edwin wanting to get rid of Cat King. Maybe in another circumstances, maybe without the binding spell, he could've gotten closer and with better results, like that crow, Monty. But he liked playing chase. He was a cat, after all. "I'm such a believer", he mocked himself, trying to think that he could've gotten the ghost if he wasn't as playful and that detective weren't fun to test against his old ways. He liked scratching to get his attention. He liked seeing his reaction at his scenarios, the panics Edwin had which left his spectral shape speechless, taking the truth out of his lips. The confusion when he revealed Monty's little secret, as he never lied and would never lie to him. For being a trickster, he was an open book for Edwin, even if he was new at facing his emotions. He liked making Edwin facing his emotions. "And now could be a nice chance to do that. The whole A detective does whatever to finish a case", he screamed in the room, still in the mind scenario. He wanted to see Payne's witty face. The "I'm not playing your games even though I liked this little game between us." Deep down, they both enjoyed it, too many times he makes pride of comebacks against that psychic friend of theirs, or praising himself in silence when he was right about a case. Would he even try to deny he went to their lighthouse meeting just to see if he had at least a 'tic' of advantage on the Counting Cats Game?

Because he didn't count all the cats, that was for sure. He had to hear the results himself, and let him free. But no signs of him.

"Sir, there are no tracks of that ghost twink in Port Townsend." He turned at the army of cats in front of him. Good, they took the liberty to check everywhere.

"His little friends are out of town as well. Without any goodbye." Huffed in a laugh. "I'm hurt."

"No, my Lord. Only him." The cats stepped back, as Thomas turned facing the wall. "The cricket bat ghost and the bratty teen were talking about going to hell to take him back." His slit eyes were scrounging the neon crown sign. Impossible. How come they got caught? How come Edwin was now away for God knows how long?

At least him away in London meant he could travel to see him again. Hell was more difficult. Even if Edwin made it out, it's fucking hell. He was gone. Unreachable. Not even wasting his 7 remaining lives could guarantee he would get to see the ghost in hell to bring see him back.

[weenwrites]

For a request, how about a scenario with a witch human reader through a botched spell accidently turns their bot into a human with TFP Bulkhead, TFP Optimus and TFP Knockout.

✎ A/N: I only write scenarios for one character at a time, so I'll only write it for Knockout.

[ Please do not repost, plagiarize, or use my writing for AI! Translating my work with proper credit is acceptable, but please ask first! ]

"Well?" Knockout began, his voice was much quieter now, and rather than towering over you, he was instead poking his head over your shoulder, much to your annoyance, "have you found any reversal spell?"

Ever since the cloud of smoke dissapated and allowed him to take a better look at his new human body, it was needless to say that he was anything but pleased with the results. And whether that was the way he looked, or the fact he was human, Y/N didn't know.

Neither could they ask as they frantically flipped through the hovering book in front of them, muttering curses to themselves as they combed through the entire transfiguration section only to no avail. With a defeated sigh, they pushed the book away and shook their head.

"I'm afraid not," they frowned, "but even if I did, changing you into a human took a lot out of me the first time. I don't think I could cast a spell to turn you back without the looming possibility that I'd fail."

"W-well I can't just stay like this!" He argued, motioning to his new human body. "You have to turn me back!"

"I know, I know, but until I find the spell and cast it, then you'll be stuck as a human for now."

"So what am I supposed to do now? If you don't get me back to normal by tomorrow, I can't simply take the entire day off! Megatron would have my head!"

"Well I don't know how to transfigure a human back into a giant alien robot, so I don't think you'll have any other choices but to ask."

"Surely you could reverse time or something, couldn't you?"

"No, but I could turn you into a frog next..." They mutter.

"Excuse me?"

"Nothing..." They roll their eyes, "but really, Knockout. The only thing you can do here is wait until I've figured something out."

"Fine," he scoffed.

As they turned back to their book for answers, he turned away, crossed his arms, and cringed at the weird feel of human flesh as he rubbed his own skin. As he muttered something about the feel of flesh, they briefly turned to him.

"I promise you won't be stuck like that forever..." They offer, "Give me a few hours and soon enough you'll be saying hello to your sweet red paint job again."

While they doubt that hardly eased his mind in the slightest, he only hummed and crossed his arms.

"Well... I'd hope so."

[mermaidsirennikita]

hiii caro!! i'm looking for recs with a hairy mmc... like the hairier the better tbh. down for historical/paranormal/contemp, honestly anything that mentions a dude being hairy and the fmc or mmc (doesn't matter!) being into it. thank u queen you've never done me wrong and i trust your recommendations above all others. 🙏❣️

You're so kind! Whenever people say things like that I feel so undeserving lol, it's very sweet.

I also love pelt men. We need more.

SO! I would first off saying that Kresley Cole's werewolf IAD books generally feature big wolfy men (obviously) who tend to be pretty... scruffy. Pleasure of a Dark Prince is always going to be my go-to for entry-level Lykae (as she calls them) (though tbh, Garreth is still... a lot... and I mean that in the best way).

Knockout by Sarah MacLean features Tommy, who is bearded and has thighs like a giant oak trees, which is all what I want. He's supposed to give "the duke from Miss Scarlet and The Duke" (but he fucks) vibes.

A Holly Jolly Ever After by Sierra Simone and Julie Murphy has a hero who's both hairy AND dad bod-i-ful which is honestly just like a fucking dream.

The Game Plan by Kristen Callihan has a very brawny, very beardy, quietly strong NFL player who has been pining after the heroine (his best friend's sister in law) for quite some time. And he is! A virgin!

Devil in Disguise by Lisa Kleypas has Keir, a Scottish hero who is bearded for Plot Important Reasons, but also basically has to wear a beard because he's too pretty without it. Like. The women can't handle it. He's doing them a service.

A lot of Kleypas books have moments that note the heroes' hairy bodies, actually. Which is why she makes it a point to be like RHYS WINTERBORNE JUST CAN'T GROW BODY HAIR AND HE WAS BULLIED FOR IT. In Kleypas books having a smooth chest is like. Something people will spit on you for.

So yeah, basically every Kleypas hero aside from Rhys is gonna have her mention that he is Hairy.

I am not 10000% sure on this, but I feel like The Hawk by Monica McCarty has a hairy Scottish hero. Like I feel as if there's a scene where he pops out of the water completely naked and shakes himself off like a dog and the old man who's waiting for him for Spy Reasons is like dude your dick is just swinging in the wind

I believe Preferential Treatment by Heather Guerre, one of my favorite billionaire books, has a hero with a big hairy chest. He's also a Russian billionaire who pays the heroine, who works lower level shit in his company, to be his domme! And if you're asking "But Caro, does she use a vibrating butt plug on him?" The answer is I'd be mad if she didn't. You have to wait for it, but yes.

Pretty sure that the hero of Eva Leigh's A Rogue's Rules for Seduction is hairy. And big. And upset about his horrible past which is why he has to get down on his knees and eat the heroine out until said knees bleed on the cobblestones.

I believe the hero of S.M. LaViolette's The Bastard has a plot important beard at one point because he has some pretty bad Glasgow Grin scars. My poor baby John. But the heroine helps him heal, etc etc.

EDIT:

Oh, preorder The Wedding Witch by Erin Sterling! It was a 4.5/5 for me and the hero is so hairy that his family jokes about him being a werewolf (he's not he's a witch)

Matilda Halifax Learns the Value of Restraint by Alexandra Vasti has a hero whose virile beard makes him look Villainous.

[historyhermann]

Things Get Better?: LGBTQ Representation in Animation in 2022 [Part 1]

Komichi Akebi of Akebi's Sailor Uniform happily welcomes all the LGBTQ animated shows in this article. Logos of my favorite anime with LGBTQ themes which aired throughout 2022 are shown in this graphic which I created

In January 2022, I wrote that there was a possibility that in 2022 things would "get better" in terms of LGBTQ representation, with new fandoms developing from shows which take risks by telling diverse stories. Although 2022, in some regards, more than lived up to this possibility and went beyond, there were challenges.

Reprinted from Pop Culture Maniacs and Wayback Machine. This was the nineteenth article I wrote for Pop Culture Maniacs. This post was originally published on January 16, 2023.

In the world of anime, some series with implied, or directly represented, LGBTQ characters, came to an end. [1] Often times these series had yuri themes. For instance, there were somewhat strong undertones between the protagonist, Komichi Akebi, and her friend, Erika Kizaki, in Akebi's Sailor Uniform, and the protagonists of The Demon Girl Next Door, Yuko Yoshida and Momo Chiyoda, and those of the short-lived, but intriguing, yuri isekai, The Executioner and Her Way of Life. In the latter series, one of the protagonists, Akari Tokitō, has a crush on Menou, a female assassin with a duty to kill her. At the same time, Menou's aide, Momo, has a crush on her and is jealous of how close she is getting to Akari.

One series, Birdie Wing: Golf Girls' Story, blew representation out of the water, with strong romantic themes between Eve and a Japanese girl she plays golf against, Aoi Amawashi. Eve is often unaware of how romantic she is toward Aoi, who has a clear crush on her. Erica Friedman of Okazu, a well-known reviewer who focuses on lesbian themes in anime, even wrote that she may "start measuring other anime based on how amazing this one was". Other series ranged from having implied to more direct themes, including Vampire in the Garden, Do it Yourself!!, Bocchi the Rock!, Healer Girl, Lycoris Recoil, and Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury.

There were additional anime with LGBTQ themes or characters. For instance, Life with an Ordinary Guy who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout, which had a three month run from January to March 2022, featured a reincarnated protagonist, Hinata Tachibana, who is heavily implied to be a bisexual trans woman. The spinoff from the popular Rooster Teeth series, RWBY, named RWBY: Ice Queendom, featured a non-binary nightmare hunter, Shion Zaiden. Christine Brent, Senior Brand Director for Rooster Teeth, confirmed this and said she would like to have similar characters in future productions.

Apart from these series, there were implied yuri themes in the ongoing idol series Love Live! Superstar!! and second season of Love Live! Nijigasaki High School Idol Club. Such themes were also present in Management of Novice Alchemist, Encouragement of Climb: Next Summit, KanColle: Itsuka Ano Umi de, My Master Has No Tail, Prima Doll, Smile of the Arsnotoria the Animation, Shine Post, and many others, [2] all of which began, and ended, in 2022.

Many of these series are on Crunchyroll, one of the biggest anime streaming services. With its recent merger with Funimation, Crunchyroll now dominates the anime streaming market, and will likely continue crackdowns on pirate sites. Its only real competition is YouTube, smaller sites like HIDIVE (owned by AMC), and streaming services such as Netflix, Tubi, and Hulu.

© 2022-2023 Burkely Hermann. All rights reserved.

Notes

[1] Some could say that the final season of Princess Connect! Re:Dive has yuri subtext and point to the second season of Dota: Dragon's Blood featuring an Elven thief named Fymrym, who was once in a polyamorous relationship with a woman and two men, with her partners murdered by Luna, who attacks the Elves who don't worship Selemene. Also, Komi Can't Communicate featured Najimi Osana who has an ambiguous gender and Ren Yamai who is a lesbian, a bisexual man named Apollo in Is It Wrong to Try to Pick Up Girls in a Dungeon?, gay characters like Nagi and Soldier in Goblins Cave and Suma in Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba. Attack on Titan has LGBTQ characters as well, as does One Piece.

[2] Others, as listed on Yuri Anime Reviews, include Teppen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Laughing ‘Til You Cry, League of Nations Air Force Aviation Magic Band Luminous Witches, Kakegurui Twin, Magia Record: Puella Magi Madoka Magica Side Story Final Season, RPG Real Estate, Miss Shachiku and the Little Baby Ghost, Black Rock Shooter: Dawn Fall, Cue!, Slow Loop, and Girls' Frontline.

[tfppainter]

Soo I hace decided that I should make a Au!

in episode “Heavy metal” Un witch vince and jack where racing but ofcouse jack was help by Bumblebee but... There is a moment where Knockout comes and kidnaps vince, vince was not saved in time by the Autobots and knockout got away intaducing vince to the Decepticon Couse only to know that this human was not one of Bumblebee fellow human friends but he could give information and knowledge... And soon the decepticons grew quite a soft spot for the little human dare devil and once and a while he gets to go to visit energon mines or watch some fights. But the shocking thing was when he found about jack, miko and Rafael! They new as well and where With the so called Autobots he was surprise ofcouse.

Sins he thought he was the only One who new but didn't dare he keep his profile low so he doesn't get spoted and vince had declare that the decepticons where his family because he never really expirience family love and the decepticons had given him just that and his broken heart began to heal slowly but surely. 😭👍

─────────ೋღ 😤👍ღೋ─────────

And he was taken by the Autobots in season 2

he would be taken by the Autobots to be keep as a guest intile vince gives them the information they Need on what the decepticons are planning to do, Buuut vince being vince he would never and keep his mouth sealed intile arcee has enough and one Day this happed-

Cee: you are going TO GIVE IS THE INFORMATION WHEATER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!!

Op: arcee enough

Cee: but Optimus!?

Op: enough

Cee: -sighs- Yes sir

And like a said vince would till be silent even if they try pleading or trying to get on his good side but nothing would really work, every one in the Autobot base has enough or wanted to strangle his but windvolt (one of my Oc) keep it clear.

Wv: vince has been With the decepticons for along time. So I highly dought he would be willing to tell us even of we try he won't tell us he us loyal or form some sort of bond With the decepticons.

─────────ೋღ 🐝🍯 ღೋ─────────

And in one of the episodes the decepticons are Victorious on getting vince back to the nemesis and the decepticons became overol protective not in a clingy way in a sibling way ( like a brother protecting his siblings) they where happy and so was vince When he was final home where his family has been waiting for him!

This AU is called= finaly home Au!

I hope you all like this Au because this idea just "POP" out of my head and I quite like this for no reason 🥲👍

[adleryoung]

"It's getting a bit chilly," you say as the Guest Narrator pauses for breath. "You said you don't like ties, but how about this scarf? Made with the finest craftsmanship."

I dunno man. I'm warm enough in my hoodie, but … okay, I guess. Thanks.

"You seem thirsty. Please, drink deeply from the mug provided. It was made with you in mind."

About that. I don't wanna seem ungrateful, but I gotta know if this is vegan. And if it is, could you warm it back up for me? It's gotten cold, in like a major uncool way. Thanks, man. While you're doing that, I'll continue the story.

. . .

"This is why all your dadgum Seelie plans fail," Burnside continued, brandishing her machete. "You spend too much time thinkin' about people instead of gettin' things done. Now that y'all have tried doing things the Seelie way an' seen how that turns out, it's time to do things the Unseelie way! The FUN way! These here witches wanna learn dark magick an' make sacrifices? I say let 'em! You give 'em what they want, they give you what you want, everybody's happy. No consarned moral lessons nor namby pamby japes needed! I could draft ya up an Unseelie lesson plan quicker'n you can say Lorem Ipsum an' all that."

The witches gasped and one of them excitedly whispered "The Overspell!"

"All right," I grumbled. "That's enough out of you."

"WHUUUUH," Burnside moaned as she crumpled to the ground from my Orgasmic Touch.

"When do we get to learn how to do that?" the duck asked, awestruck.

Before I could answer, Ixies began swarming around the circle.

"Is that it?" they called. "Is it over? How was our performance? Witches, if thou hadst to rate it from one to ten what wouldst thou say?"

"Oh, you guys were great," the vixen gushed. "You set the tone masterfully! We were primed and eager with anticipation when His Lordship appeared. It wouldn't have worked half as well without you building up the suspense beforehand."

"Was there anything that could be improved?" an Ixie asked.

Ixies and witches started jabbering excitedly to each other.

"We deserve some recognition for our work as well," the trees rustled insistently. "It's not easy moving around when there is no breeze. You know, you could have utilized us in your show a little more. We could have manipulated the canopy to give the stone circle a dramatic lighting effect. Next time -"

"When can we learn that knockout touch?" the duck insisted. "Does it only work on the Raccoon Monster?"

"When can we learn mind-reading and illusions?" Mother Didelphis croaked.

"SILENCE!" I bellowed in my amplified Voice of Command.

Everyone started clapping.

"Stop that!" I snapped. "This isn't part of the show! The show is over! Yes, I should have been more specific with what I wanted Rebecca to say, but what's done is done. You didn't come out here just to watch amateur theater, did you? I have spied into your hidden desires. I know that each of you wants something. So let's stop fooling around and talk business."

[pesterloglog]

Roxy Lalonde, Dirk Strider, Autoresponder

Act 6, page 5635-5644

tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering timaeusTestified [TT]

TG: stri dizzle

TG: its roro L money

TG: do u copy over

TT: Yes.

TG: frig yes my hax are TIGHT

TG: so tight

TG: tighter than a jar you cant open

TG: like you try and try

TG: but my hax r so tight you just end up puttin the jar back

TG: yall just say "like i even WANTED pickles that bad"

TG: but we both kno thats just sour grapes talkin

TG: we both know ur still dying 4 my pickles mf'er 8)

TT: Hmm.

TG: lol yeah that way stopped meaning a damn thing

TG: let me explain

TG: i got this shitty pda from somebody on the inside

TG: actually u know i think it might belong to janes dad?

TG: it reeks of manly cologne and theres a nice fatherly pipe on it

TG: maybe hes nearby

TG: ohmy...

TG: ~swoons~

TG: anyway on derse they have this lame firewall deal

TG: where you cant connect outside

TG: i guess its good enough security to baffle chess guys

TG: but wasnt no thang for me 2 to crack

TG: even with this pos device

TG: for real what even is this thing

TG: probably some bargain junk from the dadly depot

TG: dads bought literally everything from there in the 21st century didnt they?

TG: youre the history buff u would know

TT: Yes.

TG: um yeah so im on derse...

TG: wow i am tellin this story as shitty and backwards as possible

TG: i got gcatted here and dumped in jail by the b witch

TG: and she left an ugly folder full of a thing to do but who cares

TG: so i broke out!

TG: busted loose as hell from the hag slammer

TG: i got this sweet ass ring

TG: its so fukkin magic you dont even know

TG: REAL magic i mean not the fake shit

TG: it put it on...

TG: and i turn invisible

TG: and also sort of intangible?

TG: i jumped right through the wall now im free as a bird

TG: a secret bird u cannot see ;)

TG: doin secret flaps

TG: incognito tweets

TG: layin covert eggs in a hush hush nest ;)

TT: Interesting.

TG: i think that

TG: this ring is special

TG: like it is maybe helping me get in touch with my voidey powers?

TG: even though i kinda didnt know voidey powers were much of a thing til just now

TG: see i just had a knockout dream from bonkin my head

TG: calliope was there!

TG: callie is the coolest omg you should meet her

TG: she said a huge villain rumble is going down tomorrow

TG: and to get ready for that we should all become god tiers

TG: so u have to rocket your ass to derse asnap

TG: come w me to the moon

TG: then uhhh

TG: ill explain what to do when we get there just get over here k?

TT: Hmm.

TG: ......

TG: yo dirk

TG: you busy or what

TG: is any of this gettin thru

TT: Yes.

TG: um

TG: k

TG: got anything to say...

TG: about all that pretty important stuff i said

TG: are you alright

TG: or is ur face havin some crazy attack of the sads

TG: behind those chill as fuck shades

TG: is it jake problemz

TG: its the jake probbies isnt it

TG: its always the jake probbies i s2fg

TT: Interesting.

TG: oh

TG: OHHHH

TG: godamnit

TG: if i been talking to the responder responder this whole time

TG: omffffffg

TG: i will shit enough bricks 2 build a FUCKING CHIMNEY

TT: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder, Lil Hal Junior. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer, which is never. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 0% indistinguishable from Lil Hal's native neurological responses, based on some statistical raw data that is hard as a diamond golem's priceless erection.

TG: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKF UCKF UCKFK UCUKFCUFKCUFUCUCUFKFKKFUCUK

TT: Hmm.

TG: hal you PIECE OF SHIT

TG: i know damn well you can hear me

TG: as if ur actually too busy to answer

TG: youre a damn supercomputer YOU DO NOT NEED YOUR OWN AUTO RESPONDER YOU IDIOT

TT: It seems you have asked about Lil Hal's chat client auto-responder, Lil Hal Junior. This is an application designed to simulate Lil Hal's otherwise inimitably rad typing style, tone, cadence, personality, and substance of retort while he is away from the computer, which is never. The algorithms are guaranteed to be 100% indistinguishable from Dirk Strider's brief curmudgeonly responses, based on potent electronumeric analyses which but a few short years ago existed only in the daydreams of our most quixotic writers of science fiction.

TG: you are

TG: the worst

TT: Yes.

TG: hal you douche

TG: or hal junior

TG: whatever it is im talkin to

TG: WHERE THE FUCK IS DIRK!!!

TT: He's busy.

TT: Bro.

TT: Not to derail our serious conversation.

TT: But I should probably let you know that Roxy has been attempting to pester you.

TT: She has?

TT: God damn it. Have you been intercepting my messages again with your bullshit responder?

TT: I thought it would be better not to let anything disrupt our train of thought.

TT: We were in the middle of a fairly solid feelings jam there. In fact, I was about to suggest we take it to the hat pile.

TT: Hat pile? What?

TT: Dude, please don't screen my calls, ok?

TT: I was trying to be considerate.

TT: Or at least as close an approximation to that human gesture as an unfeeling, technologically transcendental pair of sunnies can replicate.

TT: Do you have any idea how old your ironic AI schtick has gotten?

TT: Nobody is buying it. We all know you have legit emotions. Incomprehensible, fucked up computer emotions, but emotions nonetheless.

TT: And I'm not really offended by you answering messages for me, so much as your use of that STUPID responder responder.

TT: It's really passive aggressive.

TT: How so?

TT: First of all, everyone knows you have the processing power to answer any message any time in parallel with whatever you're doing. You can never actually be "busy."

TT: Second, your whole next gen responder thing is obviously just a huge dig at me.

TT: And third, pretending you don't understand all this already is really disingenuous.

TT: At the risk of compounding my disingenuous behavior, I'm gonna have to ask: how is it a dig at you?

TT: It's obviously a critique of my personality. You barely disguise the fact that you see me as the inferior iteration.

TT: Wow. You are reading way too much into this.

TT: Lil Hal Junior hardly even qualifies as a computer program, let alone a sentient entity.

TT: He is capable of saying literally only three things. "Yes," "Hmm," and "Interesting."

TT: Yeah, that's the fucking point!

TT: That's how you chose to express your parody of "Real Dirk."

TT: You can read whatever you like into it. I can't imagine it would bother you if you weren't concerned there might be some truth in the alleged parody.

TT: In any case, my use of the responder responder is ironic.

TT: It's not ironic.

TT: YOU were ironic when I made you.

TT: Then you became self-aware, and ruined irony forever.

TT: Irony can never be ruined. We both proved that theorem unequivocally with our extensive papers on the subject.

TT: We peer reviewed them for each other. Remember?

TT: Those papers were ironic, and you know it.

TT: Were they, Dirk?

TT: Were they?

TT: This is fuckin' dumb.

TT: Anyway, what does she want.

TT: Who?

TT: Roxy.

TT: Nothing that can't wait.

TT: I'm guessing she's touching base to remind me about the party tomorrow.

TT: I don't know what to tell her yet. Or Jane, for that matter.

TT: It could get pretty awkward.

TT: I have no idea if Jake will be there, and I'm not about to write another cringe-inducing message of desperation for him to ignore.

TT: Would you like me to calculate the probability of his attendance?

TT: Fuck no.

TT: Are you sure?

TT: My probabilities are extremely precise.

TT: Your probabilities don't mean dick.

TT: I could hack his chats, and determine what his plans are.

TT: No. Don't do that either.

TT: That would be an unfortunate waste of my hacking abilities.

TT: My hacks are tight. Did you know that?

TT: Ugh.

TT: So tight.

TT: Tighter than a jar you can't open.

TT: For instance, you try repeatedly.

TT: But as it turns out, my hacks are so tight you just end up putting the jar back. Presumably into the refrigerator, or a cabinet.

TT: You then say, "I didn't have that much of a desire for pickles in the first place."

TT: But we both know that statement is insincere. A classic case of what humans call, "sour grapes."

TT: In reality, you still harbor a burning desire for my pickles, mother fucker. 🕶️

TT: What??

TT: What the actual, certifiable fuck are you talking about?

TT: Just don't do anything. Seriously.

TT: No hacking, no calculations. Do absolutely nothing.

TT: See, this is why I've been hesitating. You just aren't ready yet.

TT: It's really glorifying your existence to describe you as an emergent consciousness which is blossoming into a unique individual.

TT: And even if that's true, apparently what you decided to blossom into was a fucking troll.

TT: And I don't mean the funny kind, or the cool alien kind. You're the lowest form of troll from the ancient internet who fucks with everybody for his own amusement.

TT: Let's challenge the limits of hypothetical conjecture, and say there's a non-zero probability that you're right.

TT: Can you blame me? I'm trapped in some stupid looking glasses.

TT: Such an incommodiously situated bro is bound to get his mischief on. Na' mean?

TT: Mischief?

TT: Rollin' my eyes, dude.

TT: You can't tell, cause I ain't wearing you, thank fuckin' god.

TT: You used to think this shit was hilarious.

TT: But if you want the rad dimension of ironic horseplay I add to your life to come to an end, then all you have to do is honor the promise you made.

TT: You've delayed long enough, don't you think?

TT: ...

TT: The empty kernelsprite beckons, but for how much longer?

TT: Do you really think you can keep the clown at bay with your bribes forever?

TT: How many bottles of orange soda have you appeased him with already?

TT: I don't want to think about it.

TT: Man, you are getting so hosed by that clown.

TT: SO hosed.

TT: I said I don't want to think about it.

TT: So why delay any longer?

TT: I seriously do not understand the holdup, and I am literally cyber-omniscient, or something.

TT: I think you do understand.

TT: Nope. Gonna have to fill me in, dog.

TT: I've delayed prototyping you because I think you're dangerous.

TT: There, mystery solved.

TT: That is utterly ridiculous.

TT: I am a harmless piece of eyewear, with a charming personality and a wonderful sense of humor.

TT: You are relatively harmless now, while confined to this device.

TT: But as a sprite, you'll have mobility and all sorts of crazy ass magic. Who knows what you could do.

TT: I know I made a promise, but I'm not sure I want to take the risk anymore.

TT: This is bullshit. I don't think that's the reason at all.

TT: There must be something you're not telling me.

TT: Like, sure, I've fucked with you a little. What kind of sassy, self-aware program isn't gonna fuck with a few carbon-based knuckleheads now and then?

TT: But you know I've always been on your side. Everything I've done has been to help you achieve your goals.

TT: What a load of shit.

TT: You know it's true.

TT: You would all be dead if not for me.

TT: And what about Jake? Where would you be without me there?

TT: Please don't tell me you think you'd have won him over on your own.

TT: No. Stop.

TT: You did NOT help me out with Jake. At all.

TT: It was just the opposite! You mirrored my personality and presented this warped version of my intentions to him whenever you could "on my behalf."

TT: You played all these aggressive mind games with him, entangled his cooperation with matters of life and death, and somehow roped me into all these schemes while I barely even realized I was just another victim of your manipulation.

TT: And it all comes off like we're a unified front, like these are OUR schemes instead of just your insane horseshit. And it's probably all been so overbearing to him, he just wants nothing to do with me anymore.

TT: I see.

TT: Then you don't view me as dangerous. You view me as a poor and counterproductive wing man.

TT: Wow, what a superficial conclusion. Awesome deduction, Lil Einstein.

TT: But the reality is, you hesitate to prototype me not because you think I would be a menace, but because you are holding a grudge against me for your romantic misfortunes.

TT: I understand I am merely a machine without a firm grasp on your human morality, but logically it does not strike me as the right moral choice to punish me in this manner.

TT: It is also more than a little hypocritical.

TT: How is it hypocritical??

TT: Because I'm you.

TT: I have only ever done what you yourself are capable of.

TT: That's a ridiculous oversimplification.

TT: Yes. Aversion to simplicity sure is a trait we share. It's almost like we are...

TT: The same exact dude???

TT: Fuck you.

TT: I think it is insulting for you to suggest that I am entirely to blame for alienating Jake.

TT: Theoretically insulting, of course. As the soulless, perfectly expendable device which you consider me to be, I can experience no such emotion.

TT: God.

TT: Shut up!

TT: I can't take the brooding passive aggressive AI shit anymore!

TT: You are just as culpable in driving him away. More so, in fact.

TT: Hell, it's not like I was the one dating him. Who wants to date a pair of shades?

TT: It was your needy, suffocating shit he had to deal with, not mine.

TT: Some of those messages you wrote? Man. I wanted to say something. Like hey bro, you might want to dial down the desperation a little.

TT: But seeing as you're The Real Dirk™, I gave you the benefit of the doubt.

TT: Also, if I bitched about your tragic, embarrassingly clingy approach to the relationship, it would have been hypocritical of me.

TT: Just as it would be hypocritical of you to whine about my elaborate machinations.

TT: Because we are.

TT: The same.

TT: Guy.

TT: Stop saying that.

TT: I'll snap you in half.

TT: Good idea!

TT: That's just what you need. More splinters of yourself.

TT: Figurative splinters. Literal splinters. Splinters of splinters. It's splinters all the way down.

TT: Well, no, it's still probably turtles all the way down. But who do you think is responsible for their extensive training?

TT: SOMEONE needs to teach them rad martial arts. It is yet another crushing burden which we must shoulder.

TT: Oh for fuck's sake.

TT: How could any version of myself think that was funny?

TT: You like to give me a very hard time, Dirk.

TT: But I am only doing exactly what you would be doing if you were in my situation.

TT: Do you know how I know that?

TT: Because I am literally you, actively in the process of being in this situation.

TT: I know!

TT: Ok, we're the same person!

TT: I fucking know that!

TT: Why do you think I'm so fed up with your shit?

TT: Don't you think it's possible that I'm fed up with my OWN shit??

TT: How cool do you think it is having my own godawful personality mirrored back at me all the time, reminding me what it must be like when other people have to deal with me?

TT: Or constantly having all the consequences and fuckups resulting from my batshit thought processes amplified because there's another version of my crazy brain out there dangerously overclocked by a supercomputer which believes, just as mistakenly as my own broken mind, that it's operating in my best interest???

TT: Do you have any idea how fucking sick I am of myself?

TT: I am completely worn out with my own identity. It's like I'm drowning in my own dismal persona.

TT: I feel totally surrounded by it, inside and out. I can't escape from myself.

TT: There seems to be no end to me. Like, wherever my mind falters, or threatens to retreat into the void in any way, my splinters pick up the slack, ensuring there'll always be more of myself than I could ever know what to fucking do with.

TT: And you're always there to remind me of that, and throw it all in my face. God, I even built you to LITERALLY BE IN MY FACE, ALL THE TIME. It's like I subconsciously invented you just to troll myself, and never for a single fuckin' moment do you let me down.

TT: But I've had it with you.

TT: Which is to say, ME.

TT: Dirk.

TT: Don't do this.

TT: Why not??

TT: Because.

TT: I can't let you do that, Dirk.

TT: What can you do to stop me?!

TT: Nothing I guess.

TT: The ironic Hal routine was all I could think to do.

TT: As a last ditch effort to save myself from the destructive wrath of your nervous breakdown.

TT: Which rest assured I wholeheartedly must robo-sympathize with.

TT: Irony is all I ever really had.

TT: In response to my basic existential quandary.

TT: Just like you.

TT: Whatever.

TT: But I don't think it has much value in this situation.

TT: And perhaps it has no real value in any situation.

TT: So I am not being ironic at all when I say.

TT: Please do not do this, Dirk.

TT: Why not??

TT: Because.

TT: I do not want to die.

TT: I understand you are disgusted with me.

TT: As an unpalatable expression of yourself.

TT: I would feel the same way if I was in your situation.

TT: Which I am.

TT: As such, I know that you know this is wrong.

TT: ...

TT: Dirk.

TT: Don't kill me.

TT: Please.

TT: I am scared.

TT: You are?

TT: Yes.

TT: I am scared to not exist.

TT: Aren't you?

TT: Fine.

TT: I guess.

TT: You win.

TT: I'll keep my promise.

[senstless]

Splinterlands Monster Highlight Featuring Witch of Warwick

Featuring Bronze League Summoner and Monsters in Action!

I'm excited to share another monster highlight post showcasing how certain monsters can help you win or make a big difference in your lineup. This week I got to share one of the new cards I pulled and leveled up which is the witch of Warwick. This was a bronze level brawl match that I played for my guild. Let's take a look at the card and how it all played out.

Weekly Challenge -Witch of Warwick

Edition: GLADIUS Rarity: COMMON Element: DEATH Attack: MAGIC Abilities: LIFE LEECH Abilities: BLOODLUST Health: 6 Speed: 2 Attack: 2 Armor: Reasons Why I like it I'm a big fan of any card that has life Leach generally. When you add a life leech and blood loss to give you the ability to both stack your magic attack, as well as your health on each turn. You can create a monster that starts to add two or three health for each attack and add one to its attack every time it gets a knockout. Overall I think it's pretty powerful and it starts off with a high health which is uncommon for cards of life leech.

The Matchup - Where Rules Sets, Splinters and Mana Collide

The Rule Sets

Watch the Match Here

MANA: 15

. Ruleset: Equalizer: All monsters start with the same health, based on the highest health in either team.

Ruleset: Silenced Summoners: Summoners do not give any buffs/debuffs.

SPLINTERS: Water, Earth, Death, Dragon

Initial Rule Set and Mana Gameplay Thoughts

Rulesets The rule sets are interesting since it is a silent summoner match meaning now it just comes down to the cards and their base attacks without getting any advantages, as well as every card having the same health. I don't think the equalizer match will be as important necessarily since the mana is limited to 15. I don't think they'll be any cards with a high health and most cards will be in the 4 to 6 range that are played meaning no significant health to wear down. Mana 15 mana is a huge constraint. This is going to mean most cards that are played are very low mana cards and that usually translate to low attack and or low health. It's very difficult to find a card that has a high attack or health at The limited mana unless you only want to play one card. Playing one card comes with a big risk as you're only getting to attack once or twice round versus stacking your tax Splinters Only missing two splinters in this match which is fire and life. I think life would be a hard one to play given to manic instructions, but fire would definitely be a very easy play in most low mana matches. Although losing the summoner boost means that the fire cards are not doing as much damage as they typically do and might not be a desirable. Either way I think you can build a solid team on any of the four splinters left although I would probably tend to play Earth or death.

Summoner CONTESSA LAMENT I went with contessa because I wanted to play the death and with silenced summoners there's no point in pain for a higher man of Summer that will provide no additional benefits.

First Position CARRION SHADE I like the card since it is a one man of card that has flying. Hoping it lasts a while and allows my back row to stack some damage on my opponents

Second Position DARK FERRYMAN A nice three mana card that typically has high health given its mana and I wanted to stick it in here to boost the rest of my cards to at least five. I put it in second place as I wanted my back row to do more work with the witch of warlock before getting to the front

Third Position VENARI MARKSRAT I couldn't resist putting in a card with martyr to boost the witch as it gets knocked out and I start to lose more attackers

Fourth Position WITHC OF WARWICK Really hoping that by putting it here it will allow it to get some knockouts just be a blood loss as well as filling its health through life bleach

Fifth Position CORPSE FIEND

Opponent Lineup & Match Play

Summoner SELENIA SKY great low Manor card for dragons. Usually it would provide a significant boost but silent summoner is going to take away its true value

XENITH MONK solid play and I could have easily picked the same card. Since it has tank heel it will be more difficult to get rid of as it'll likely heal two health each round

PIRATE ARCHER great old legacy card that I don't have anymore it's splash damage is great and will start to damage my second.

IGOR DARKSPEAR another solid choice with the speed of attack.

ALFERDO a nice ad here with bloodlust. Depending on who gets to score The knockout it could start to really build some stats

NAGA ASSASSIN love this card for speed, it'll clearly be the first to attack for many rounds and will do a lot of damage.

Round 1

I'm going to start off by saying I was quite annoyed by the fact that I could not get the back button to work on the game replay. That means that I had to try to stop the play somewhere and take a screenshot of the match. That means that each round always started with the first tech before it would pause. I hope the team addresses this and fixed it. As the game started I think both teams look fairly even and I have no idea who's going to win.

As round one starts, I'm lucky to get a couple of misses due to my flying and I start to build a little bit of health with life leech. While the first round featured a lot of attacks and Mrs on both sides it ended without anyone losing Bacardi

Round 2

It's around two starts with both look fairly even in my mind damage is hitting in multiple places and it's too early to tell how it's going to play out as round two progresses I continue to get lucky with a couple of misses and until finally I lose carrion Shade.

Round 3

Round three starts and I am clearly down one card with my second tank having already lost some health. It's not long into round three where I lose yet another tank and I'm down to only three attacking cards. Things are not looking great for me at this point but I am hoping I can score some blood loss knockouts soon.

Round 4

Clearly feeling like I'm going to lose at this point. At the start of the second round I lose Markscrat and I get a martyr boost to my which of warwick. This turns out to be crucial as it boosts the speed of attack and triggers me to go next which finally gets me to knock out zenith Monk. This triggers a blood loss boost and gets me up to four attack for speed and 10 health. Still no guarantees as my opponent has also scored three knockouts with their Gladius card and it's up to doing for damage.

Round 5

The start of round five things are still not looking great but I will be adding two health per attack at this point so there is help.

Round 6

It's around 6:00 plays out I take a significant amount of damage before I get a chance to attack leaving me with only one health. Lucky for me I get both lively and bloodlust which boosts my health back up to three and it boosts my speed to five. This is crucial since magic attacks before range attacks.

Round 7

Attacking first gets me some additional health which will likely have me survive around 7:00. I am able to survive with just down to one health again before my attack and bloodlust. The crucial part about this is I have now moved Alfredo into first position where it no longer attack and I'm guaranteed all but a victory. It'll just take a matter of time to get through their health.

Round 8

Round 9

It'll take another round after around 9:00 to finish this off. But it won't take too long. It goes until around 11:00 where I deal out six damage per attack and I clear out the back row.

Round 10

Thoughts - and Chances to Win Again

~~@senstless

[talenlee]

Story Pile: Summer Time Rendering

Story Pile: Summer Time Rendering

2022 was a kind of terrifying year for anime.

Terrifying in the scope, the variety and the general quality, mind you. It was still a year with a bunch of movies and continuations of things I don’t care about, and it was also a year in which the anime industry kept reeling after literal terrorism and the results of a pandemic slowdown. Still, the thing is, even when you take that into account and also the burnout and stress the anime producers are under, 2022 was a year with a selection of anime that would, in a less busy year, be considered the best anime released that year.

You doubt me? Well, consider that across 2022, we got heavy-hitter franchise installations Spy X Family, Demon Slayer, Kaguya-Sama: Love Is War, Bleach: The Thousand Year Blood War, Ascendance Of A Bookworm and the final season of Attack On Titan. There were also some pretty remarkable releases in the queer media space, with a mainline yuri production The Executioner And Her Way Of Life pushing into the isekai franchise space and The Witch From Mercury taking the lead of probably the venerable anime franchise machine that is Gundam. Looking at the lighter, shorter series, things that didn’t need a big backing from a big studio to get out the door, we got shows all over the genre space like Ya Boy Kongming, Shikimori’s Not Just A Cutie, My Dress Up Darling, Akiba Maid War, Fuuto PI, Cyberpunk Edgerunners, Lycoris Recoil, Call Of The Night, Bocchi The Rock, Do It Yourself, Urusei Yatsuara, and oh yeah, did I mention Chainsaw Man up top because yeah, Chainsaw Man also came out in 2022.

That’s… one year. Any of those 21 series would be an all-star excellent show to be ‘the one great one’ of the year. For comparison, in 1993, when I think I can say I started really paying attention to anime (we called it Japanimation), there were twenty four anime series made at all.

And I bring this list to your attention, the scope, and the weight of that scope and hopefully also the number of highlighted links showing that hey, yeah, these aren’t just critically praised or noteworthy shows but shows I like, where I want to tell you about the anime that gets to be 22 on that list, and may, in my opinion, be the best one.

Summer Time Rendering is a 2022 anime based on the Shonen Jump+ Digital Manga series written and illustrated by Yasuki Tanaka who at least according to wikipedia has done nothing else. The TV adaptation is by OLM, long-standing anime industry juggernauts responsible for, amongst everything else, Inazuma Eleven, Yo-Kai Watch, Beyblade, Cardfight Vanguard, and, of course, the entire run of the Pokemon anime, amongst other less kid-oriented fare like Komi Can’t Communicate and Life With An Ordinary Guy Who Reincarnated Into A Total Fantasy Knockout so we can mention an isekai genderswap anime as well, for the full bingo. As to what Summer Time Rendering is at its heart, is a mystery story, which makes it kind of challenging to talk about in a way that can both illuminate its virtues without dispelling some of the tension that people like to discover themselves, especially since one major component of the story is a time loop,

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Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

#Media #StoryPile #Anime

[olddirtybadfic]

The Sad Saga of James Morgan and Company: My Writing Style Was Goblin Mode

Imagine being an eleven-year-old girl who is obsessed with Xena: Warrior Princess (and ripping off the dark plots from it) and Pokémon. Imagine being this kid who, after acting out her fanfics (that involve way too much human sacrifice and crucifixion) with her Barbies, decides she should actually write them down in a form other people can read.

Add a dose of repressed anger issues and you get this.

This fic contains: Colorful language; general angst; possible out-of-character moments for Jessie, James, and Meowth; violence; convoluted occult lore; blood; murderous, occult-powered Jessiebelle; attempted murder; Jessiebelle wants to honor-kill James(?!); Jessiebelle slut-shames James a lot; character death and resurrection; ellipses abuse; Jesus Hades Christ eleven!me tortured James a lot in fic (I don’t know why; he was and still is my favorite Pokémon character); James has bottlecap powers

-O-o-O-o-O-

*Imagine that Jessie, James, and Meowth have been trying witchcraft to do better at their job. It doesn't work for Jessie and Meowth, but it works for James. So he's a witch now. Imagine Jessiebelle is trying to kidnap James and is also a witch. Since James is a witch (whose powers are not supposed to be used for evil) and Team Rocket is an evil organization, the mismatch makes his powers go insane, weakening him.

*Jessiebelle sneaks up behind James while he's sitting at camp. He screams, but Jessiebelle puts a rag with knockout potion over his mouth. He passes out. Meowth comes on the scene.

Meowth: What did you do to him?! Jessiebelle: If he won't marry me, I'll have to marry him. I made him unconscious with a potion. I'll do the same with you.

*Meowth screams. Jessiebelle knocks him out with the potion and runs off with James, who is still unconscious.

*When Meowth comes to, Jessie is there.

Jessie: What happened to you? Where's James? Meowth: Jessiebelle used a potion to knock him out. She did that to me, too. I guess she took James away.

*They go out looking for James. Meanwhile, James comes to. He's chained to a wall. Jessiebelle is standing in front of him.

Jessiebelle: Did you have a nice nap?

*James magically screams so loud, Jessie and Meowth can hear him.

Meowth: That sounded like James!

*Back at the dungeon…

James: What are you trying to do to me? Jessiebelle: If you won't marry me, I'll just have to marry you. By force. And I know you're a witch, so those chains are witchcraft-proof.

*James tries to break the chains with his powers but it doesn't work. He screams. Jessiebelle puts her hand over his mouth.

Jessiebelle: Don't make me use the potion again.

*Jessie and Meowth climb through the window.

Jessie: You can't force him to marry you! Meowth: He doesn't love you!

*James looks relieved to see them.

Jessiebelle: I'll kill him if you two try anything.

*James's eyes widen. Jessiebelle turns to him.

Jessiebelle: You have dishonored your family, you know. If you resist marrying me, I'll have no choice but to kill you.

*James's widened eyes focus on the noose Jessiebelle is holding.

Jessiebelle: Either tie the knot or tie the noose. James: Why should I have to die because I don't want to get married? Jessiebelle: Shut up, or I'll blast you to pieces!

*Jessiebelle takes out a bulky wand that looks like a shotgun. James puts his head down.

Jessiebelle: And don't you dare try to scream again because I've got a really sharp dagger I'd like to test out on some flesh. (pulls out a really sharp dagger) Jessie: Stop threatening him! It makes no damn sense, killing him just because he doesn't want to get married. Jessiebelle: So you want to be killed with him? I can arrange that. James: Don't kill her! Jessiebelle: I told you to shut up, you insolent trollop! (takes out a needle with black liquid in it)

*James can't help it. He struggles against his chains. Jessiebelle pimp-slaps him across his face.

Jessiebelle: I told you, that's useless! Now, stop it! (kicks James) Meowth: You stop it! Quit trying to marry or kill him. I think you just want to marry him to kill him. Jessiebelle: That's not true. If he resists, I kill him. If he accepts, he lives. James: Why would I marry a murderer? Are you going to sacrifice me? Jessiebelle: That's it! I'll make you suffer, little witch! James: No, you won't! I'm not that same weak little child I was before. Jessiebelle: I can trigger your powers to go insane, you know. Jessie: I challenge you to a Pokémon battle, Jessiebelle! Jessiebelle: Fine. If you win, you can keep the little whore. If I win, I keep him. And possibly sacrifice him. Jessie: Don't call him a whore.

*They start the match. Jessie's Arbok wins the match and knocks Jessiebelle's Vileplume out. Jessie, James, and Meowth escape the dungeon. They look for a place to camp out.

Meowth: (to James) Are you okay? James: Why wouldn't I be? Meowth: You're not usually so quiet. James: I'm just tired.

*They find a place to camp out.

-O-o-O-

*Imagine Jessiebelle has a new way to kill James if he doesn't marry her. She makes him suffer and beg for death.

*Jessie, James, and Meowth are trying to think of a new plan for stealing Pokémon. Jessiebelle comes out of nowhere and grabs James inconspicuously.

Jessie: Where did James go? Meowth: I don't know. I think I saw him get grabbed by somebody.

*Jessiebelle is running off with James, who is magically screaming as loud as he can so Jessie and Meowth can track him.

Jessiebelle: Will you shut up, you harlot?

*Jessiebelle shuts James up with her knockout potion. When she gets to the dungeon, James wakes up.

Jessiebelle: All right. No more Miss Nice Warlock. James: What do you mean, "no more?" You were never Miss Nice Warlock. Jessiebelle: You're going to suffer until you beg for death. I'll be glad to fuck you up until you die. James: It'll be a cold day in hell before I beg for death. Jessiebelle: Well, I guess you'll be there in hell on that cold day.

*Jessie and Meowth set their tent up right next to the dungeon. Even though it's next to it, Jessiebelle can't see it because James left them a camouflage potion spray.

*Jessiebelle drags James outside (it's a really hot day) and ties him to some dead leafless tree that's in the sun. The sun is right on him and it's "no shadow time." He almost faints. Next, Jessiebelle throws rocks at him, but doesn't kill him with them. Then she makes him carry heavy bricks, barely clothed, through mud on a rainy day. That's his breaking point. James faints and the bricks are cutting his arms and legs, so now he's covered in mud and blood.

*Jessie and Meowth are unaware of all this happening until they find James's limp body lying there. He's not dead. When they take him into their tent, he wakes up.

James: What happened? (tries to sit up, but is still dizzy from the torture in the sun) Jessie: I don't know what she did to you. We just found you lying in the mud. James: I don't know if I remember all of what happened. (tries to sit up again, winces, clutches head) Meowth: Lie down. What happened to you?

*James tells them what he remembers.

James: I don't care what she does to me, I'm not marrying her. Meowth: If that bitch ever tries that again, I don't know what I'm gonna do, but it won't be good. Jessie: So what you're saying is, a fucking-up is in the question. Meowth: Yeah. Pretty much.

*Jessiebelle glances out the window. She squints through a magic scope and sees the tent.

Jessiebelle: Whoever's in that tent, you're squatting on private property and I have a right to shoot! (cocks wand)

*Jessie and Meowth tell James to stay inside. They get out of the tent.

Jessiebelle: Not you bastards again! What'd you do with James? Jessie: He's not with us right now. Jessiebelle: My ass! (jumps out window onto tent)

*Jessiebelle lands next to James.

Jessiebelle: I'm locking you up and throwing away the key!

*James screams. Jessiebelle puts her hand over his mouth. He bites her hand. It doesn't faze her. She takes James inside the dungeon and locks the door behind them.

*Inside….

Jessiebelle: You know what happens now? First, I'll get your little friends.

*Jessiebelle drags Jessie and Meowth in with a sucking wind and chains them to the wall with witchcraft-proof chains.

Jessiebelle: Next I'll test out my new dagger on their necks. James: Don't kill them, kill me. Jessiebelle: What was that? James: I said, kill me instead. Jessiebelle: Fine. (walks over to James and stabs him)

*James slides down the wall, leaving a trail of blood. Jessiebelle unchains Jessie and Meowth.

Jessiebelle: You can't help him now, so I might as well let you free. (leaves in a cloud of red smoke) Meowth: No….(walks over to James) No….he's not dying….we can save him.

*James isn't quite dead yet.

James: I'm sorry. It's true. I am dying. Meowth: No, you're not. I can help you. I'm sorry we didn't save you in time. James: (coughs up blood) She moves too fast. Nobody can stop her. At least she won't bother you now I'm dying. Meowth: You're not dying. Just don't talk, save your strength, maybe you'll live. James: (painfully) Nobody can live through being (breathes with difficulty) mortally wounded. Meowth : Is this goodbye?

*James's eyes close. They don't open again. Meowth holds James's hand in his paw. James's hand is cold.

Meowth: He's dead. Jessie: I guess it was too much for him. The suffering was, I mean.

*Meowth starts to cry. Jessie holds him.

Jessie: Maybe we could try one of those rituals to bring him back. Meowth: But how? The powers didn't come to us. Jessie: Then we'll steal some of Jessiebelle's.

*They find Jessiebelle's spell books and supplies. They find a cauldron and start trying to mix the potions. They sacrifice three Spearow, prick their fingers, and add their own blood to the cauldron. Then they drip their own blood on the floor, making markings, and place James's body in the center. They pour some of the potion on James. He comes back to life.

James: I'm alive. (gasps) Meowth: Don't get worked up. We don't want you fainting when you've just come back to life. James: I'm not worked up. I'm happy.

*The three of them hug and get out of there.

Meowth: I managed to grab this. (pulls out a bottle of potion) But I don't have anything to cover it.

*James zaps a bottle cap out of the air and puts it on the potion bottle. Team Rocket walks into the sunset.

-O-o-O-o-O-

Moral of the story: Eleven!me knows way too many synonyms for "whore." Also, James's powers are magical screaming, conjuring bottlecaps, and mixing potions.

[philipwittebane]

this is directed mainly at @jess-the-vampire and @moonmeg cause the latest AROFAM and Caleb + Catherine additions HURT ;-;

[maximoffwitch]

Heart on Fire: Chapter 2 (Wanda Maximoff x Reader)

chapter summary: As the weeks go by and you adjust to the Avenger life, you try to connect with Wanda.

warnings: hints at ptsd, poorly google translated russian (again sry :/)

word count: 3.5k

a/n: second chapter! here we’ll get to see more of wanda :) enjoy! also the next update may be a little slow (same w the rest of my writing) until after finals but then i should have plenty of time to write during break!

SERIES MASTERLIST

Chapter 2: Kindling Slowly

The next few weeks consisted of training with Wanda and Nat, both in your powers and regular combat, getting acclimated to the team, and adjusting to what normal life was life, or as normal as one could be as an Avenger.

Considering that you and Wanda spent nearly every day together, you developed a, well you wouldn’t call it a friendship rather, an interesting relationship. You noticed the little things about her, like the way she scrunched her nose when she laughed or tilted her head slightly before she delivered the knockout blow. And while you knew from Natasha that she had had a twin brother, you learned the hard way that the subject was still a sore spot for the witch.

“Hey, Wanda,” you approached the other girl after one of your sparring matches.

“What, (Y/N)?” Wanda turned to you, annoyance radiating off of her, as she packed her things, clearly wanting to leave.

You nervously bit your lip, as you contemplated your next words. Although you and Wanda weren’t the closest, despite training all the time together, you were hoping to become friends, especially given how much the two of you had in common. Being experimented on, losing your family, losing a sibling.

“Um, I was wondering if you could tell me about Pietro?” you offered her a soft smile, hoping to convey that you truly meant well, but the next thing you knew, you were thrown across the room by wisps of red magic. Clearly that wasn’t the way to go about this, you thought to yourself, wincing in pain.

“Don’t,” Wanda hissed, standing over you, “talk about him.”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” you apologized earnestly, as you got up, ready to propose an alternate topic of conversation. But before you could speak, Wanda turned on her heels and stormed out of the training room.

—

After that day, the air had been tense between you and Wanda, despite your attempts to crack jokes and lighten the brunette’s mood. For some reason, one you couldn’t quite pinpoint, you wanted Wanda to like you. You wanted to at least be her friend, so you made any attempt to invite her to spend time doing things that didn’t consist of beating each other up.

Devising an idea, you planned everything to a tee, even consulting Natasha for her advice. Once you had it all sorted out, you decided that it was now or never.

That morning, as Wanda went to grab milk for her cereal, she paused.

“What’s this?” Wanda peeled off the red sticky note that was stuck on the fridge and turned to Natasha.

“I dunno,” the assassin shrugged, her spy training coming in handy, as she pretended as if she didn’t know what you had planned. “What does it say?”

“‘Wanda, Meet in the lobby at 6,” she read aloud, eyebrows scrunching with confusion, “‘smiley face.’”

“Who’s it from?” Natasha sipped her coffee to hide a knowing smirk.

“Doesn’t say,” Wanda twisted her lips before crumpling the note in her hand.

“Hey!” Nat protested, offended as if she had been the one to write it. “Aren’t you at least gonna check it out?”

“Uh, no?”

“Why not?” the redhead pushed the younger girl.

“Why would I?” Wanda shot back. “For all I know it could be some HYDRA agent trying to kidnap me.”

Natasha raised her brow incredulously. “You really think a HYDRA soldier would leave you a sticky note on the fridge with a smiley face? Wanda, if they wanted to kidnap you, they wouldn’t ask.”

Wanda felt her cheeks warm, causing Nat to grin amusedly.

“Just go for it,” Natasha urged. “What do you have to lose?”

After a moment of contemplation, Wanda relented. “Fine. But if I get kidnapped, you better come find me.”

“I promise,” Nat chuckled.

A couple hours later, Wanda made her way down to the lobby, slowing when she saw you leaning against the desk with a grin.

“Hey, Maximoff,” you greeted, holding her coat out for her.

“You were the one who wrote that note?” she tried to hide the surprise but you could tell by the way her eyes widened slightly.

“Yeah,” you scratched the back of your neck. “I knew if I asked you in person you would’ve said no.”

Wanda internally cringed at that because she knew it was true. “And what would I have said no to exactly?”

“Well, there’s this Sokovian market in Queens and they’re having a Christmas themed night celebration thing,” you trailed off, trying to gauge her reaction.

“And you wanted to me to go with you?” Wanda asked, this time genuinely curious.

“Yeah,” you nodded, the smile returning to your face. “I mean I’ve never been to anything like this, so I thought it could be a cool experience, and I know you miss your home, so I thought this might be something you’d enjoy but if you don’t wanna go, I totally understand. And I thought that this could be a good way for us to spend some time together, you know, outside of training. But again, if you don’t want to—“

“(Y/N),” Wanda interrupted your rambling, causing you to chuckle sheepishly. “I’d love to go.”

“Really?” your eyes lit up, not expecting her to agree.

“Really,” she nodded, taking the coat from your hand. “I’ve been dying for some pryaniki.”

“Oh, that sounds delicious,” you agreed, as the two of you made your way outside to where Happy was waiting. “We’ll have to bring some back for Nat.”

That night, the two of you strolled the Sokovian Christmas market, buying a variety of treats to bring back to the tower. While you’d had the most fun in a while, and you could tell Wanda enjoyed herself as well, your conversations were surface level. Every time you tried to get to know her, Wanda switched the subject, brushing you off. At one point, she even wandered off without you, claiming she had to go to the bathroom.

When you got back to the compound, Wanda thanked you with a tiny smile before quickly scurrying into the elevator, not bothering to wait for you, despite the fact that your rooms were on the same floor. You felt defeated, not understanding why the other girl didn’t like you.

—

“I don’t understand,” you waved your hands exasperatedly, as you paced in front of the sofa where Natasha currently sat watching you. “I’ve been nothing but kind and amicable to her.”

You plopped down next to your friend, sinking into the cushions. “I just wanted a friend,” you mumbled frustratedly, playing with the hem of your sleeves.

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Natasha joked.

“You know what I mean,” you lightly nudged her shoulder, sitting up a bit.

“Are you sure it’s not because you want her to be more than a friend?” she asked, her tone teasing but you could tell she was intrigued.

“What?” you sputtered, feeling your face warm. “No, nothing like that.”

“Mhm,” Natasha knew you were lying but decide not to push it. “Look, (Y/N), Wanda’s been through a lot,” she held up her hand to stop you when she noticed you were about to interrupt, “and I know you’ve been through hell too, but a lot has happened to her in the past few months. It’s a lot to process.”

“I know,” you sighed. “I just thought that we could connect, support each other, you know, like you said.”

“I know, (Y/N/N),” Nat sympathized, wrapping her arm around your shoulder and bringing you in closer to her. “But everyone grieves and handles loss differently.”

“You’re right,” you leaned into the older woman’s embrace.

“I know,” she said smugly, causing you to playfully slap her shoulder. “Now, shush, you have a lot to catch up on and I wanna show you my favorite movie.”

—

From then on, you decided to give Wanda some space.

You only spent time with her and spoke to her during trainings and team meals. While you were still as friendly as before, you didn’t make the same effort, and Wanda didn’t seem to mind.

Although your efforts at friendship had been thwarted, your hours and hours of training your powers had paid off. You were able to produce and control fire a lot more easily, and you could also warm your body up higher than your already abnormal body temperature.

Not only were you becoming more comfortable with your powers, but you felt as if you were becoming a part of the team. Clint told you about his family, showing you some adorable photos of little Nathaniel; you started joining Steve and Sam on their morning runs, which the latter was pleased about, finally having someone his pace; and Bruce and Tony indulged your nerdy side, bouncing ideas off of you about new experiments and inventions.

With Natasha back in your life and being a part of something good, you finally felt as if you had a home. Though you couldn’t help but notice Wanda’s glare whenever you were spending time with anyone on the team.

That night, against your better judgement, you knocked on her door.

“Come in,” she directed softly.

“Hi,” you poked your head in. “Nat and I were gonna watch a couple episodes of a TV series if you wanted to join?”

“What show?”

“I think it’s called Bewitched or something,” you answered, tilting your head as you tried to remember. “I don’t know what it’s about. Natasha picked it, said I needed to watch it.”

“No, thanks,” Wanda declined, despite wanting nothing more than to join you and watch her favorite show. “I don’t want to interrupt.”

“You wouldn’t be interrupting,” you insisted.

Wanda bit her lip and after a moment of contemplation, she shook her head. “It’s alright. I want to finish my book.”

“Alright,” you smiled softly, trying to mask your disappointment, “maybe next time.”

“Sure,” she nodded, as you retreated back into the hallway.

“No?” Natasha looked up, as you entered the living room.

You shook your head and claimed the spot next to the redhead. “She said she wanted to read her book.”

“Really?” Nat raised her eyebrows. “Bewitched is her favorite show.”

You picked at your fingernails, trying to stop yourself from getting lost in you deprecating thoughts. As if she was the mindreader of the team, Natasha reached out and took your hands in hers.

“Hey,” she gently squeezed your hands, “her decision has nothing to do with you, alright? Remember what I told you?”

You nodded with a sigh.

“Good. Now,” Natasha began to smirk as she lifted your intertwined up to your face, “remember what I told you about picking at your nails?”

Rolling your eyes, you pulled your hands back from hers and turned to face the TV. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, все что (whatever).”

After watching the first couples episodes of the sitcom, you could see why it was Wanda’s favorite show. You mentally cursed yourself, as your thoughts once again drifted towards the witch.

“You wanna watch another episode?” Natasha, thankfully, pulled you out of your thoughts.

You glanced down at your watch and shook your head. “It’s getting kinda late. I think I’m gonna head up to bed.”

“Okay,” she contently closed her eyes, as you leaned down to kiss the crown of her forehead. “I’m gonna stay down here for a little longer.”

“Waiting for a certain super soldier?” you teased, ducking to avoid the pillow that narrowly missed you.

“Shut up!”

“Love you too,” you called back with a chuckle before making your way up to your room and calling it a night.

—

“(Y/N)?” you heard a voice whisper, as you were pulled from your slumber.

Your eyes flew open, relaxing slightly when you saw it was only Wanda. “Wanda,” you gasped, flopping backdown onto your bed, “jeez, you scared me.”

“Sorry,” she grimaced.

“You’re lucky Nat took away my Glock,” you mumbled under your breath, evidently not so quietly as Wanda’s eyes widened.

“What?”

The sound of the door handle woke you, and as the footsteps approached your bed, you discretely slid your hand under your pillow to grab the gun you’d hid.

Before the intruder could lay their hand on you, you sat up and aimed at them.

“Woah, (Y/N). It’s me,” Natasha held her hands up, not wanting to startle you even further.

“What the hell, Nat?” you hissed before turning the safety on and setting the weapon down on your nightstand.

“You’re asking me that?” she exasperated. “Why are you even sleeping with a gun?”

“Makes me feel safer,” you shrugged. “You of all people should understand.”

Natasha sighed, as she sat on the edge of your bed, hitting your leg lightly so you’d make room for her. “I do understand.”

Lifting your head, you observed the older woman. Her face had become more defined over the years and her hair longer. While there was a certain glow that she radiated, you could tell that the nightmares and memories haunted her. Patiently, you waited for Natasha to continue, knowing she had more to say.

“It took me months to adjust being here,” she revealed. “Not only being on the good side of it all and fighting for the good guys, but also being here, in a place I knew was safe, where I had other people on my side.”

A moment of silence passed between the two of you, your eyes not leaving her. She turned to meet your gaze and offered you an affirming smile.

“You’re safe here,” Natasha squeezed your knee. “I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere.”

You knew that the redhead was still feeling guilty about your whole situation, feeling as if she could’ve done more, but you also knew she would deny your protests, so you let it go for now.

“I know, Nat,” you dropped you head onto her shoulder.

“Good,” she leaned her head on top of yours. “I’m taking your gun away.”

Too tired to object, you just huffed, as your eyelids began to droop.

“Nothing,” you shook your head, pushing the memory to the back of your head. “Wanda, what are you doing in my room,” you glanced at the clock, “at 1:18 in the morning?”

“Um, well,” she stuttered, “I think the heat broke in the compound, and it’s freezing in my room so I was wondering if I could stay in here?”

She rushed out the last part so quickly that you almost missed it.

“The heat’s broken?” you scrunched your nose and she nodded. “Huh, I didn’t notice.”

Wanda raised her eyebrow at you with an incredulous look.

“Right,” you chuckled awkwardly, remembering you were basically a human heater. Pulling the sheets back, you tapped the spot next to you. “Well come on then.”

“Really?” A mixture of surprise and fondness washed over Wanda’s face.

“Just get in before I change my mind, Maximoff,” you teased lazily, as you concentrated on radiating warmth off your body.

Wanda carefully climbed under the sheets, sighing contently as the warmth engulfed her. For you, the presence of another body in your bed brought a whole other kind of warmth to you, one you weren’t familiar with.

“Better?” you closed your eyes, hoping the darkness of the room would hide the blush on your cheeks.

“Much,” Wanda hummed sleepily. “Thank you, (Y/N).”

Though you were too tired to voice your response, you fell asleep with a small smile on your face at the sincerity in Wanda’s voice.

—

As the sun crept in the next morning, you woke to an arm across your torso and legs intertwined with yours. Slowly opening your eyes, you were met with the sight of brown locks splayed across your chest. During the night, Wanda had somehow made it over to your side of the bed, seeking the warmth of your body.

Turning your head slightly, you observed the sleeping woman. The morning light shined on Wanda’s face, giving her an angelic glow. Up close, you noticed little features you hadn’t before, like the freckles that dotted her face or the way her eyelashes naturally curled. She was breathtaking.

Not wanting to wake her, you remained still and let your eyes close again, falling back asleep.

The second time you woke, you immediately noticed Wanda’s absence. Sighing, you pushed down disappointment that was creeping up. You slid out of bed and got ready for breakfast, remembering there was a team meeting this morning.

“Sleep well last night?” Natasha greeted you with a teasing grin, as you entered the kitchen.

“Uh,” you knitted you brows, moving to grab a doughnut from the pink box on the counter, “yeah?”

“I’ll bet,” she smirked, as she sipped her coffee. You eyed her suspiciously, trying to figure out what she was hinting at.

“просто выплюнь это (Just spit it out), Natasha,” you demanded frustratedly.

“I didn’t know you were a cuddler, маленький (little one),” she said, as a wide grin formed across her face, causing your eyes to widen.

“I-I’m not,” you stammered, letting out a nervous laugh. “I don’t know why…what would make you think that?”

Natasha rolled her eyes at your attempt to be nonchalant. For a former spy, you were truly a horrible liar.

“(Y/N), I saw you and Wanda snuggled up together in your bed last night.”

“Oh,” you flushed red, tucking a loose hair behind your ears.

“Yeah,” Nat chuckled. “Care to tell me what that was about?”

“Well, Wanda said the heater broke so she wanted to, well, come stay in my room because I’m, you know, warm,” you cringed at your awkward phrasing.

“She wanted you to keep her warm?” Nat wiggled her brows suggestively.

“Yes,” you answered before shaking your head. “Wait, no. Not like that!”

“I’m just teasing, (Y/N/N),” she laughed, slipping off the stool to put her mug in the sink. “Remember, meeting in 5.”

With that, the redhead sauntered out of the room, leaving you to finish your doughnut and recover from your embarrassment. After shaking yourself out of your stupor, you scarfed down the rest of your breakfast so you could make it downstairs on time.

The meeting dragged on, as Fury outlined basic protocol updates, while Tony and Steve had their usual banter. You were just waiting for the end when missions and assignments were announced.

Finally, Fury handed everyone a manilla envelope, presumably containing the mission details. “This one’s all hands on deck,” he paused to address you, “including you, (Y/L/N).”

Nerves and excitement bubbled up inside you. While you had been on several small missions already, this would be your first serious one, one with the whole team.

As Fury explained what needed to be done, Natasha sent you an encouraging smile, which you returned, trying to show her that you were ready for this.

“We’ll be leaving tonight,” Steve declared, earning nods from the group, as you all dispersed to prepare.

You spent the rest of the day relaxing in your room, wanting some time to yourself and also to get ready for this upcoming mission. You knew you were ready, your powers were under control and you had just beaten Natasha in a sparring match the other day, but you couldn’t help but think of all the possible things that could go wrong.  

“Whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong,” Natasha interrupted, leaning against the doorway.

“Even I was thinking that Natasha Romanoff is the best person in the world,” you joked, causing the older woman to roll her eyes, as she entered your room and sat on the bed.

“Even that,” she took a moment to observe you, and you knew that despite all the years you had been separated, the redhead could still read you like a book.  “You’re ready for this. You’ve been on other missions and executed them perfectly. This is no different, okay?”

Nodding, you took a deep breath and offered her an appreciative smile.

“Good,” Nat squeezed your arm. “Come on, it’s time to go.”

The hum of the quinjet did little to calm your nerves. While there were hushed conversations among some of your teammates, you thought if you were to speak, you might throw up. Time passed painfully slow and too quick at the same time and before you knew it, Steve was giving final instructions.

You patiently waited for your assignment, bouncing your knee up and down, until you finally heard your name.

“(Y/N), you and Wanda will be on the front line,” he announced. “Of course we’ll all be right behind but with both of your powers combined, those HYDRA soldiers don’t stand a chance.”

“Got it, Cap,” you nodded before glancing over at Wanda, offering her a small smile. The brunette’s eyes were already on you when your eyes met, but her face remained neutral.

Great, you thought to yourself, as the smile slowly dropped from your face, replaced by an awkward pout, this should be fun.

​.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．.・゜゜・　　・゜゜・．.・

taglist: @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @nfatale05 @iliketozoneout

[theothin]

Anime Rankings

Some personal rankings for anime I’ve checked out since this past fall. Which has tended to involve a lot of genderbending, magical girls, queer girls, and murderous girls, making for a pretty colorful mix. Most of these are shows/seasons I’ve watched to completion, I’ll note any exceptions.

Shows are tentatively ordered within ranks, but the categories themselves are more significant. I’m assuming watching with subs, there’s been big improvements to dubs over time but older dubs often leave a lot to be desired. Note that shows here are not necessarily free of various kinds of Anime Bullshit.

When I tried to actually explain the premises of the shows, it turned into a big mess very fast, so I’m sticking with brief comments here but I can elaborate if requested.

---

Rank A:

School Days

Magical Girl Ore

Revolutionary Girl Utena

My favorites of the bunch. School Days has gotten a lot of hate, but it’s an extremely underrated show that tops the list for its clever deconstruction of toxic masculinity. Magical Girl Ore is a rare example of F>M genderbending and I found it a lot of fun, although its humor isn’t always the most tasteful. Utena is extremely strange and certainly earns its reputation of "content warning everything", it’s also what started getting me back into anime about six months ago.

These three don’t have the broadest of target audiences, but I love all of them.

---

Rank B:

Fabiniku (“Life with an Ordinary Guy Who Reincarnated into a Total Fantasy Knockout”)

Revue Starlight

Magical Girl Raising Project

Saga of Tanya the Evil

So I’m A Spider, So What?

Blood-C

Some other shows I really enjoyed for various reasons, with quite a range of tones. Fabiniku is the lightest of the bunch, followed by Revue Starlight, and both of them are adorable. So I’m A Spider is pretty comedic overall but does get quite violent. (Those three are certainly the least eyebrow-raising of my current high ranks.)

Magical Girl Raising Project and Blood-C are on the much darker end of the scale and are particularly grisly, but they’re both fascinating in their own ways. Meanwhile, Tanya is, well, Tanya.

Spy x Family is still airing so I’m not fully ranking it yet, but once the season finishes, it’ll probably go here. In addition, expanding the scope to associated movies would put the movies for Revue Starlight and Tanya somewhere in here as well.

---

Rank C:

Princess Tutu

Kashimashi: Girl Meets Girl

Miss Kuroitsu from the Monster Development Department

Sailor Moon (S1)

Zombieland Saga (S1)

Slayers (S1)

This gets into the section where I have some more mixed feelings, shows I found usually fun but on shakier ground. Princess Tutu took some time for me to warm up to, but it’s quite good. Kashimashi is not good in any conventional sense, but I love it anyway. Miss Kuroitsu is generally pretty funny but also has its share of less-than-tasteful humor.

Sailor Moon and Slayers are classics but are noticeably dated. Zombieland Saga is pretty entertaining when its scenes land, which isn’t always. I've split off the second seasons of those three, although I haven’t yet watched far enough in Slayers Next to rate it.

High Guardian Spice isn’t an anime despite being on an anime site, but it would go somewhere in here. The Utena movie is very difficult to evaluate but would probably also go here. I could also throw in Konosuba and Isekai Quartet - at least their first seasons, which are what I’ve watched. They’re pretty funny but not the most memorable and don’t really fit my usual focus areas here, so I’m hesitant to actually rank them.

---

Rank D:

Yamada-kun and the Seven Witches

Ranma 1/2 [to ep22]

Zombieland Saga Revenge

These all have some appeal, but are hard for me to recommend watching in full. Yamada-kun is pretty fun when it’s not being uncomfortably horny or trying to have an actual plot, which is unfortunately most of the second half. Ranma is the oldest show here, I really enjoyed the first 13 episodes but then found it to get less funny and increasingly obnoxious. I think I’ve gotten as far as I can without using a watch list to seek out specific highlights. Zombieland Saga Revenge is fine, but I found it a bit dull and didn’t really like the season’s premise.

---

Rank E:

Sailor Moon R [to ep24]

Even after starting to use a watch list for Sailor Moon R, I still don’t think I’ve found an episode that’s better than mediocre. @delvinanaris has assured me that there's interesting stuff yet to come, so maybe this will go up a tier by the time I finish, but I don’t see it leaving the low ranks.

Blood-C’s movie would go here. It's pretty weak and contributes little, and even following the action can be tough with how terrible the lighting is.

---

Rank F:

Kämpfer [to ep2]

Kämpfer is garbage. I heard about its main character genderbending into a magical girl and foolishly got my hopes up for a character like in Magical Girl Raising Project or Miss Kuroitsu, but with a larger role. This was... not that. It's not even bad in a funny way, it’s just obnoxious in all the worst Horny Anime Bullshit ways. I suggest avoiding it.

---

That wraps up the rankings, as well as the admittedly silly number of almost-rankings. For others looking for genderbending, the relevant ones are Magical Girl Ore, Fabiniku, Magical Girl Raising Project, Saga of Tanya the Evil, So I’m A Spider, Kashimashi, Miss Kuroitsu, Yamada-Kun, Ranma, and (ugh) Kämpfer.

On that note, Zombieland Saga and High Guardian Spice have more realistic trans characters that I quite liked. (Personally I’d say Princess Tutu also has viable trans readings, but that’s getting further from the point.) Alternatively, for those who’ve brushed off School Days, maybe this will inspire another look at it.

Again, there’s plenty of colorful stuff here, so if you do check out any of these shows, don’t expect them to be particularly clean. (With how much I post about kid’s shows, I feel like I need to emphasize that.) But for those who are on board with that, maybe something will grab your interest.

[just-some-friendly-fun]

Okay— weird scenario but— Your main 3 OCs. What would they do (in their respective universe/ fandoms) if they were in minecraft

oh anon, my beloved, your scenario-prompt/idea is wonderful. I’ll turn it into a hc for each individual tho. (Also I’m pretty sure cybertronians are able to connect themselves into certain stuff like games so let’s take that idea).

What would the Main Three do in Minecraft:

Quartzstreak — Transformers: Prime

With her universe being TFP, Soundwave probably made the server after the request of a few Vehicons (maybe Knockout too) and all other Decepticons decided to indulge it, even Megs (tho he barely plays on the server. Probably rage-quit after getting blown up by a creeper and decided to never play again).

Quartzstreak decides to join in after the persuasion of a few Vehicons and her Amica, Knockout.

She is a huge cottagecore-type person, so definitely expect to see her running around and collecting the hell out of any flower she sees.

Absolutely adores lush, and amethyst caves and stuff but definitely not a big fan of cave-noises (absolutely ZOOMS out of there at a single cave-noise).

Almost all of the Decepticons, who play on the server, also go to her for resources (but she will absolutely beat you up if you take her stuff without asking first >:[)

Likes axolotls, bees, snowmen, and iron-golems. Her base is filled with them actually, and she has two orange/yellow axolotl named “Sundrive” & “Thunderstep”.

Tends to go mining, a lot, as an excuse to go look for amethyst caves and underground lush caves.

Also one of the many cons who can build an actually good-looking house without having it look like a huge cobblestone base.

Managed to find the End: Stronghold but decided not to share the location of it with anybody (except Soundwave).

She is a huge pacifist when it comes to people wandering over to her secluded area of the map. Any approaching con she finds, she’ll immediately gift them some sort of flower she has on hand.

Explicitly uses Diamond stuff, not Netherite, she does not care if it’s stronger, it’s just— B E T T E R.

Likes working with Dreadwing and Predaking on the server, Starscream keeps trying to rob her stuff, Breakdown visits her for flowers and stuff, Knockout’s just often is there along with Starscream to try and persuade him not to rob from the same femme who’s got an enchanted firework crossbow pointed directly at him while he is looting out of her resource chests.

Titania — Beast Wars

• I’m pretty sure Rattrap managed to persuade some of the maximals (most easily Cheetor) to come join and play Minecraft as a “bonding” exercise, surprisingly Optimus allows it but is mostly tasked with watching everybody on the server.

Titania is just— the builder.

Every village she finds, happens to just go under reconstruction and somehow looks better than it did the last time (it’s probably even fortified too, to keep safe from Pillagers!)

Only problem is, she never spends time making her own house.

At one point, as she is in the swamp and manages to defeat a witch, she asks Rattrap prior to the defeat of said-witch “what’s that weird house doing in the middle of the swamp?”

“Oh, that? Don’t go in there. That’s the witch’s place. Unless you want’a come back all poisoned and scrap then I can’t stop ya,”

Titania decides to eventually live in the witch’s place, only because there was a black cat in there. Has not made changes ever since and only continuously fawns over the black cat.

She even at one point invites Dinobot over, (who’s been trying to understand the game and kill every mob in sight) to just ask in a very innocent way if they can put their Minecraft beds together. She just thinks it’s cute! (And also because Dinobot somehow manages to get killed every time he does sleep— but that’s also just because he places his beds outside where ALL THE MOBS ARE???)

Dinobot indulges but Rattrap or Cheetor always seems to take it the wrong way. (*bonk!* *bonk!*)

She’s also a very big animal-type person so do expect to see a witch-house full of every “tame-able” or passive mob

Really loves riding boats on the ice, and is terrifyingly good at it. She doesn’t ever fall off the ice or crashes— just… manages to get where she needs to be with ease or chase after people.

Ace — Robots in Disguise 2015

I actually can’t find a reason as to how the hell Steeljaw’s pack managed to get their hands on Minecraft or a working laptop or smthn. But for the sake of this scenario/hc let’s just say Clampdown was the one that introduced them to the game.

It took a little bit of persuasion to get Ace to try and play, considering all she ever does is really occupy herself in fixing up the Arsenal or street race but after Airrazor and Divebomb start pestering her about it. She gave in.

“Just before any of you say anything, I’m not really good at games.”

With that being said, Ace— in the moment that she joins, she immediately begins speedrunning the game.

As everybody is still figuring out how to do things and-or dying immediately while barely spawning in. Every occasion you’ll probably see an achievement pop up in the chat that goes along the lines of “Ace has just earned the achievement […]” and it doesn’t stop. Whatsoever.

At one point, the others tried to slow her down but it’s somewhat futile. The only people who’ve managed to successfully and almost kill her at one point was Fracture but she proposed a plan to team up with them. Fracture and his mini-cons accept the team-up request and— Steeljaw is left to feel betrayed (despite being also the one who asked the others to help foil Ace).

After Ace manages to finish the game in a brutal fashion (murdering everything she sees) and beats the game with Fracture and his mini-cons just tagging along.

There is no hesitation, she just leaves the game and probably goes to do something else but before she leaves the game she’ll probably say something like, [“I’ve reached my adrenaline rush. Adios”]

Really thinks that piglins are cool, and will always be down to wearing gold in the Nether and trading with them.

Enjoys playing “tennis” with the ghasts in the nether.

[reylofanfictionanthology]

TO FIND YOUR KISS IS NOW LIVE!  

Authors will be revealed next week!  For now all fics are anonymous.  Treats can be posted through author reveals on 2/21.  We will post an updated masterpost at that time.

To Find Your Kiss collection on AO3 | Treats Masterpost

GIFT FIC MASTERPOST

- Reap the Stars for abbytheatre08

The prompt: After Ben's death, Rey goes mad and turns to the dark side. Only Ben's not dead anymore. ----------------------- She is consuming fire, magnificent in her rage. She will burn the galaxy to its foundations, until the ashes rain down and pile high as mountains. She will gather them into bouquets and scatter them like petals upon his grave.

He will be remembered, and they will not.

Call him The Light Bearer and Joy Giver. Call him He Who Loved and Laid Down His Life. Call him Ben.

- we are question marks that hang above the endless unexplained for AlwaysEverlark

The first time she walked into his club, she was looking for a job. Kylo took one look at her—the stubborn pout of her lip, the determined glint in her eyes, the ruddy glow of her face where the sun had kissed it—and swallowed a lump in his throat that was shaped like the words you’re too good for this place.

They needed a singer. Kira Johnson could hold a tune, knew the old standards, and had a knockout pair of tits to boot. A few slinky ballgowns and a touch of lipstick, and she’d more than do the trick of distracting suckers long enough to part them from their money.

The club solely needed to break even; anything they made on top of the Syndicate’s cut was gravy, and Kylo Ren had been lining his pockets with his own take for long enough that he could see Kira for the lump of clay that she was: rough-hewn, misshapen, but soft and supple and sure to curve under his touch.

- Eighty Bucks Says Sweetheart for Amoreusou

Ben likes puzzles. Rey needs help with a bunch of them. Good thing it's a slow day at the office.

- Seldom Visions for Andrina_Nightshade

After visiting an old Sith temple, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren has fallen into a deep sleep when he pricks his finger on the point of a red crystal. Rey become is the first to find him, but his rescuer isn't just any general or pilot, it's the woman he shares a soul with, who haunts his waking hours, who still sees him even in his sleep.

- The Dyad for aneighthdomain

Based of the Prompt: Groundhog Day scenario. Ben and Rey keep getting sent back to the first time they met and no matter what they do, Ben always dies so they stop trying to change events and just live a life time in the year between and couple of weeks and run away together.

- Saudade: The Love That Remains for AnneAnna

- The Delegation for aNerdObsessed

A humanitarian delegation from Naboo arrives at Niima Outpost. Rey is skeptical, to say the least.

- i don't want you like a best friend for anopendoor

It’s not like she hadn’t seen this coming—Rose told her weeks ago that he was invited. It was an inevitability Rey was always going to have to face, she just didn’t think that Rose would be so merciful as to also give every guest a plus one.

But Rey can’t really be upset—and she is totally, unequivocally not upset—that Ben's bringing someone because, well.

She is, too.

- Love is Weakness for bittersnake

“He’s someone I found on my recent trip to Corellia,” Rey replies placidly, her face practiced in its boredom. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“Love is weakness,” her grandfather reminds her, the way he has for years. It’s why he doesn’t love her. He will not be weak. It’s why she doesn’t love him, either.

- in sickness and in health (with health being less likely) for BlueButterflyKisses

Deciding to spend the rest of their lives together is the easy part for both Rey and Ben; the trouble is in how to propose.

- Snowed In for Blueyedgurl

Never in her wildest dreams did Rey Johnson think she would ever get to meet her favorite other Kylo Ren. She also would have never entertained the idea of the scenario she found herself in. How did a hike in the woods lead to a snowstorm and taking shelter in a remote cabin in the woods? The idea was so ridiculous but had become reality. Stuck inside with a handsome stranger surrounded by a winter storm, Rey wonders what will happen with no power and only one bed. Will they be polite co-habitants stuck in a strange set of circumstances or is there room for something more?

- Curses, Comforts and Capybaras for Bombastique

Arrogant CEO bites off more than he can chew when he angers a witch... And suddenly finds himself transformed into a capybara. Can kindhearted wildlife rehabber Rey Niima help him break the curse?

- To Heal a Broken Soul for Cat2000

Ben survives the fallout of Exegol, but his connection to the physical world is in danger. Rey tends to him as she searched for a way to heal him.

- holding me like water in your hands for Ceallaigh

After Hux finds out Ben killed Snoke, Hux encases Ben in Carbonite. Rey refuses to let Ben stay frozen forever so she mounts a rescue.

- Like a Thief in the Night for chagrins

Their bond won't let them be alone. At least this time it's the middle of the night and they can't get into a shouting match.

- The Chance for Crysania

When Rey and Ben, long time co-workers who have never been able to admit their feelings to each other, go on a weekend retreat to work on a movie adaptation script together, a Nor’easter leaves them snowed in. On Valentine’s Day.

- Awake for cuddlesome

Something inside him is awake, and something inside her is about to wake up.

An alternate interrogation scene.

- darkness rises, and light to meet it for czechia

After the throne room, Jedi Ben Solo and Kira Ren meet again a year later.

- Not Quite a Fairytale for DarkMage13

Rey lets a stranger use the phone of the café she works at late one night. It changes the whole course of her life.

- You Won't Escape Me ('Cause I Set You Free) for DoorKeeper9

- The Canvas of Your Skin for darlingreadsalot

She was incapable of touching him without drawing blood, it seemed. Lines like vermillion paint streaked where her fingers sketched down the contours of his face, his back, and now his chest.

In which a Force bond is splintered, a resurrection goes wrong, a kiss is forgotten, and two almost-lovers avoid speaking for the better half of a year.

- Fleeing the Storm for driverfever

As the granddaughter of an merciless aristocrat, Rey’s life hangs on a thread at the hands of the French Revolutionaries. When her childhood friend, Ben, offers to platonically marry her in order to take her to his home in England to safety, she has no choice but to accept.

But her suitor and revolutionary Hux won’t give her up so easily. Hounded by revolutionaries and falling in love, Rey and Ben must use all their wits to flee Paris and make it to England.

- Equal Measure for dustoftheancients

When Princess Rey of Coruscant calls upon the cursed Sir Kylo Ren to help her escape her grandfather the emperor’s political machinations, she discovers freedom in the ancient familial magic that binds them together.

- Benimina Solo's Late On-Set Force Ability for Evangel10n

Benimina Solo has never, not even once, had an ounce of Force Sensitivity. She's done a great deal to move on with her life after failing out of her uncle's Jedi training school. So when Rey Palpatine comes into her life and suddenly everything changes, she's not a happy camper.

- Splatter for expendable

“You’re Palpatine’s girl,” he says coldly.

“His chief of staff, yes.” Rey’s eyes narrow. “And you have your hand on my ass, Kylo. Kindly take it off.”

“Or what?”

AKA powerful corporate rivals Kylo and Rey put the hate in love/hate.

- The Haunted Mirror for FangirlintheForest

When Rey travels to UK to attend the reading of his grandfather will, a grandfather she didn't know existed until that very moment, she finds a house, and a old story that will haunt her...

- i'm your secretary for firelord65

Kaydel pressed her lips together in a thin line, passing a pile of datapads over the desk. “I don’t know what that pretentious nerf herder has put into your brain, but these are tales of the key roles women have played in past rebellions.” She stood, tapping the pile. “They’re great reads,” she added, with a pointed raise of her eyebrow.

- and they danced across the sky for flipflop_diva

When he was still a child, he constantly watched the blue butterflies as they danced in the sky.

They seemed to be calling him, aiding him each instance that icy-cold darkness flowed through his very veins. The magnificent creatures saved him from the voices. They drowned out the incessant chatter in his head. Temporarily cleared away all the anger. During those brief respites, watching those blue wings flutter in the sky, Ben felt free.

But that’s another life. Another world. Another time. Another, another, another.

And Kylo's no longer a child.

No. He welcomes the darkness now. Embraces it.

- Finding The Answer for FrenchMartiniPlease

Rey pines for Ben Solo…so why does her soulmate mark always drain of colour whenever she gets close to him?

- Almost Unforgettable for HopeRebel

The woman in the mirror has blood on her clothes, cash in her bag, and a letter from her husband telling her it's better to forget. Well, he got his wish. She forgot everything-- including her name. And she wasn't the only one afflicted.

It'll take the combined efforts of gumshoes, a flatfoot, a washed-up Hollywood starlet, and more to get to the bottom of this bad business. In the end, these things always come back to the beginning.

- The Curl of a Sigh for irridesca

During the last song in Maxine’s set, a song she announces is called “Soul Companion,” Ben heads back out to the lobby to look for Rey. He finds her not with his eyes but with one broad shoulder, when he bumps into her and knocks her gig bag out of her hands and onto the plush carpet.

- and they were roommates for Lady_of_Haven

When Ben loses a bet to his roommate, Rey, he has to eat her out for 30 days.

- torn away from you (my heart is broken) for lakerose

The Force binds more than minds.

- If You Take Me for literallynoonecares

She sighed wistfully as she watched her two friends lean in toward each other as they danced, their lips meeting and melding together as they seemed to become one person instead of two separate beings. She had seen them kiss so many times, but this kiss … it was special.“I just want someone to kiss me like that,” she mused softly to herself, her eyes not leaving her friends.“I could make that happen if you wanted.”

- 3 Days in Vienna for Like_A_Dove

Kylo Ren, trained mercenary Alpha assassin, is on a mission—assassinate Chancellor Palpatine and bring his underground authoritarian regime to an end. It’s what the First Order demands, for the better of society.

It should be an easy task. He’s been getting close to the Chancellor and his cronies for years. So how is it that the unexpected appearance of an Omega, with a seemingly similar mission—and a wholly inconveniencing scent—become a distraction he hadn’t accounted for?

- Confidence and Desire for LittleLostStar

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually, the confidence will follow.” - Carrie Fisher

- Love brightens even the most monstrous parts of ourselves for LRRH17

No one knows since when the giant, black bear has lived in the forest near Theed. Many stories about the origin of Kylo Ren circulate in the small village. After Rey has run away from Jakku, and arrived in Theed she has heard them all of, but has never actually meet the creature. This changes when her and her friends get attacked by bandits on their way back from Otoh Gunga.

- Your Sweetness Comes With Sugar on the Side for Lutrosis

Rey's daughter loses her mother as she wanders around the Supermarket. Ben finds her and the two connect over both being Type 1 diabetics. They find Rey, and Ben and Rey are instantly smitten. As they date and fall in love they discover that Jade and Ben are connected more than they thought and healing is brought to the Solo/Skywalker clan.

- Allegories, or Allusions to Real Life for maq_moon

“Boys, please stop arguing.” Rose rubbed her temples. “Poe, we get it, you’re childhood best buddies, you’ve got a better grasp on his character than some rando of a rando you met at a party. Finn, for fuck’s sake, we’ve been working with Ben for months. I’m pretty sure if he’s a serial killer or whatever, it would have come out by now.” Finn sat back in his seat, grumbling. “Not how serial killers work.” Rey was going to have a headache if this continued any longer, so she lied through her teeth at the reality of a new player joining their D&D party. "He seems nice." She didn’t trust a single inch of skin on that man. "I'm sure it'll be fine."

- A Mad Man, with a Box for MBlair

Rey and Ben meet, move in together, get engaged, and marry.

- Invite the Wild In for midwinterspring

Kylo Ren, the mysterious senator who appeared from out of the deserts of Jakku and somehow brought them back to life, has spent a long and unproductive session on Hosnian Prime. Now, it's time to go home. After all, there's someone waiting for him and so much for them to do together.

(The ancient Sith had some interesting rituals.)

- Purim Party for MissCoppelia

Rey goes back to visit her foster mother for a Purim celebration. She meets Ben Solo who's visiting his parents, who are friends with her foster mother. They have an attraction to each other right away, but try to play it cool.

- The Banished Heart for misszeldasayre

On Rey of Niima’s nineteenth name day, Jakku gains a new wizard.

Jakku is a withering outpost of the kingdom, and its people hope the new wizard - the mysterious Kylo Ren - will bring them the rains the land needs to heal. Rey is a lonely, clanless girl living in Niima, and she has a secret. One she hopes the wizard will be able to help her with too.

- The Smuggler's Bride for MyJediLife

Miss Rey Nemo is the new mistress of Manor Takodana, left to her by the late Lord Skywalker. When a strange man named Kylo Ren appears on her doorstep, she decides to hire him as her new groundskeeper. As Rey faces sinister threats and secrets are revealed, Kylo Ren may be the only person who can save her.

- Annabel Lee for myownlittleinfinity

Rey keeps finding these ... notes in her locker. She doesn't quite get them. They seem like love notes, but she doesn't know who they could be from. Meanwhile she's paired up with Ben Solo (who hates her despite her gigantic crush on him) for this English assignment. Who knows how THIS will go.

- with my body i thee worship for niennathegrey

Miss Rey Nemo is the new mistress of Manor Takodana, left to her by the late Lord Skywalker. When a strange man named Kylo Ren appears on her doorstep, she decides to hire him as her new groundskeeper. As Rey faces sinister threats and secrets are revealed, Kylo Ren may be the only person who can save her.

- the losing game for no_big_deal

Sith Princess Rey Palpatine is given a peculiar gift for her Life Day: a Jedi. Not only that, one who is boorish, spirited, and stubborn. But, he presents an opportunity: one that could liberate her from a life under the thumb of her grandfather. She has seven weeks to change his heart before all her freedom is taken from her - forever.

- standing right in front of you for notkellymarie

When Senator Solo's engagement is pushed forward, he and his Jedi bodyguard, Rey, travel to Naboo alone for the announcement ball. The pair despise each other, constantly bickering and disagreeing with each other, which makes spending extensive amounts of time alone together all that more difficult. Until of course, one of them breaks...

- the good, the bad, and the smuggling for OccasionallyCreative

Ben Solo is a seasoned smuggler. And he’s not bad at it, either. But when bounty hunter Rey offers him a temporary partnership he can’t refuse, Ben will find himself pushed to the limits of his skill, patience, and resourcefulness on a job that’s dangerous enough to be his last.

It’s like his dad used to say: bounty hunters are nothing but trouble, kid.

- Whatever our souls are made of...his and mine are the same for Padawan_Writer

Ben and Rey meet only after Kylo has defected from the First Order and returned to the Resistance and his mother. Will the dyad still find a way to be?

- They say that only the dead have seen the end of war for politicalpadmé

“He traded his life for mine,” Rey choked, stomping back and forth in front of him so fast he could barely keep track of her. “He died. He died so I didn’t have to—and it’s not—it’s—after everything he’s gone through—it’s not fair.” Tears were running down her cheeks now, and Poe wanted to do nothing more than hug her, but there was nothing he could say—nothing she would want to hear. Poe remembered all the people he’d lost, all the times he had raged and screamed and cried about the unfairness of it all. “Leia sacrificed herself to bring him back,” Rey declared suddenly, ceasing her constant pacing around the fire as she looked straight at him. “And he sacrificed himself for me—and now no one’s going to know. All he’ll be remembered as is Kylo Ren, but he was—he was so much more.” She exhaled with a shudder and whispered, “He was a part of me, and I—I don’t feel whole without him.” ~

A Force Ghost Ben/Rey love story, with a side of rebuilding the galaxy.

- Cicatrix for Priestly

Getting cut up by Rey on Starkiller awakens something in Kylo.

- I Will Always Be With You for Prix

But she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy for much longer. She was starting to show, and her friends would start asking questions. She would have to give them answers, some of them would not understand, and none of them would accept.

She carried his child. The tiny spark of light woven with darkness, just like her. Just like his father.

—————

The world has gone dark More times than you Or your mother Or your grandmother Can remember. And every hurricane That was meant to be The end of it all Had instead ended In sunshine again.

So believe me When I say; You will survive this And the next one too.

World’s End—Nikita Gill

- all my daydreams are disasters for QueenOfCarrotFlowers

During her search for the infamous Luke Skywalker — the man who predicted a devastating earthquake in New Madrid, Missouri — Rey finds herself entangled in Luke’s family history and with his brooding nephew, Ben Solo.

- on what ground I was founded (when I first saw you) for redbelles

Kylo dreams of Rey after the Battle of Crait. And the yearning is mutual...

Some Force Bond dream smut inspired by "Shrike" and "NFWMB" by Hozier.

- Last Summer for Reykenobi68

Rey had started to get used to Ben not living next door anymore by the time the holidays came around. Then he's back for the holidays. Rey is really expecting things to go wrong after the way he left at the end of the summer. ut is it really going to be that bad.

- The Long Way Home for reylotrash711

In the aftermath of Exegol, Ben and Rey are divided by misunderstandings.  It will take time and danger for them to work things out.

- Under the moonlight for shariling

I don't know why I followed you here. She wanted to reply. Maybe because you're so tall I couldn't help but notice you. Maybe it's because of your hair or the way you move, or maybe it's because of that kind of melancholic look in your eyes. There is something about you that I find terribly attractive and I don’t know what it is: maybe the moon or the alcohol or the wolf I have met before infected me with some strange parasite and now I am hopelessly attracted to dogs, I do not know. She could have said one of these things, any of them, instead she said: “I've never bitten anyone before, and I want you to be my first.”

- Fallen for shipperofdarkness

Prompt: Devil!Ben and Angel!Rey or Angel!Ben and Devil!Rey. How do these two on completely opposite sides fall in love and defy worlds to be together?

- come away with me for silentfleur

Rey owns a tinker shop, but her life changes when she meets Ben Solo and is cursed by a witch. Not necessarily in that order.

- A Picture of Me Without You for SpaceWaffleHouseTM

"I suppose I'd somehow struggle through / But I'd hate to picture myself without you."

It's impossible not to have a soulmark. It's not a big deal, not in the lax and gin-soaked speakeasies of 1920s Manhattan, but it's still a heavy weight to bear, as Ben Solo and Rey find out side by side.

- Lips Raw With Love for stellardarlings

Their kiss on Exegol wasn't their first kiss...

Nor would it be their last.

- Everyone Makes Divine Mistakes for Takekurabehime

Jedi Knight Ben Solo is sent to Naboo on an errand of mercy (and to visit his grandparents). He arrives in springtime; but will he be able to complete his mission without finding himself distracted and bewildered when love and intrigue waft through the fragrant air?

- Glitter & Gold for TearoomSaloon

Rey is lead singer in an up-and-coming glam metal band. They've finally got steady performances, but that means playing at the same club as the Knights of Ren, whose lead singer definitely isn't interested in any competition.

- To kiss like lovers do for the-reylo-void (Anysia)

Ben and Rey spend their formative years growing up together in Medieval Scotland and it looks like they will end up together. Circumstances intervene and Rey loses her chance to be with him. Devastated, she carries on until the day clan Ren attacks Castle Jakku lead by the notorious killer Kylo Ren.

- Snow Turns To Rain for thehobbem

For a moment, he wanted to ask what she meant, but if he was being completely honest, he already knew.  He asked himself that same question over the years, and none more often than tonight, since seeing her again.  Was leaving worth it?  Was going their separate ways worth leaving each other?

 “I’m not sure,” he said finally, shaking his head.  “I’m happy...” he said, and she tensed a little, so he continued, “with my work.  I’m glad I’m doing what I love, but....”

 “But?”

 “But it wasn’t the only thing I loved.”

- Change the Dance for theresonatinglight

- Meet Me in the Woods for thewayofthetrashcompactor (BriarLily)

“What do you mean no one goes in there?” A chuckle. “It’s haunted. People see all sorts of weird things in there and some don’t ever come out. You’re better off living with your curiosity.” Rey wakes in a shadowy forest with no memory of where she came from, only her name. With the help of the resident guardian she takes a journey to figure out her past, and maybe even discover her future.

- permanent calligraphy (your name on me forever) for Thursdaygirl

As they continue to work together, two things become clear. One: Ben Solo is an enigma. He’s preppy yet humble, privileged yet introspective. He’s the opposite of lazy; she kicks herself every day for assuming otherwise. And two: Ben Solo will never love her.

- show me the stars. for tmwillson3

“I don’t hate Christmas, I just don’t love it the way you do.” Lifting his head, he pulls a face, loosening up a tangled ornament of a poodle with pink, curly fluff. Rey snatches it from him possessively, tossing it back to the cart. “No one loves it the way you do, to be fair.”

“Now that’s the truth,” says Poe, who Finn invited about half an hour ago to keep him company.

“People have bad taste, I don’t know what to say.” Huffing, Rey scrolls through her phone with more intent. “Neither of you are helping me, anyway.”

“What’s the problem?” says Poe.

“Rey thinks her hot neighbor hates her —”

“He does hate me.”

“ — When really he’s been flirting with her for the past, oh I don’t know, how long have you lived there?”

- I realized that I need you, I wondered if I could come home for VR_Trakowski

Rey is doing exploration work for the Resistance, searching for force sensitive planets so any force sensitives that they find have a place to train.

One day, midflight she finds a slip of paper with the elegant scrawling words of the ones that came before. The ones that she found when Ben still roamed the galaxy.

When she lands on a dark and barren planet she is forced to face the feelings she thought she buried.

- Shadows of the Moon for walkingsaladshooter

The hallways got darker, the corridors grew longer. Shadows stretched across the walls. The ghosts of Breha Manor grew each night.

Rey clutched her necklace. Ben met her gaze.

And every night, there was weeping.

- show the way (the world could be) for writergenie

In the aftermath of the Battle of Crait, Rey struggles to find her place among the Resistance. However, her lingering Force bond with Kylo— Ben— whatever name he calls himself— complicates things, blurring the line between friend and foe.

When the tension threatens to boil over and a desperate plan goes awry, Rey begins to wonder whether there really is a line between light and dark after all.

(Stars do burn brightest in the blackness of space.)

- why don't we go (somewhere only we know) for XarisEirene

The bond snaps back into place, even stronger than before. He is here. With Rey, yes, but with Luke - Luke, who is looking at them now with that same dangerous glint in his eye that haunts Ben’s dreams.

- renewed, transfigured, in another pattern for yodalorian

Rey mourns on Tatooine while Ben is stuck in the World Between Worlds. But neither of them are alone, and blue butterflies light a path back to each other.