#‘From now on no matter how many people are around me I will always be alone!’

[biancadoes1]

FAVE ANON HERE 🩶

I would like to start by saying how amazing it was to see Lukey Newts out and about last night looking 🔥 and rocking those emotional support curls 🥵. To be honest it was more than enough to make me look past anything else. Oh the curls 😍

But I do know that last night was a shock to the system for many. We went from not seeing Luke and Antonia interact with each other at all since the end of July to ALOT last night. They were popping everywhere. I saw so many extreme reactions and to be honest, we gotta be better guys. This is why I think it’s important to take a step back and look at everything as a big picture and use a few different lenses I listed below (and make sure you stick around for #4 because it’s the most important):

1. Seeing them last night doesnt negate everything that happened the last 7 months. Where have they been? Why hasn’t she posted him? Why did they spend the holidays apart? Why did he clean his SEO? So many questions with answers that don’t add up to a serious relationship.

2. This was not a relationship hard launch. If there was a launch plan, I 100% believe he would’ve “soft launched” in a way with pap pics getting caught on a date and in a natural setting. Or even something subtle on social media. They know how the fans perceive her and their “relationship” and they would not have just dropped a bombshell on eveyone. To top it off, out of all his SM posts today - none of them include any sight or mention of her. So what was the point of HL-ing?

3. I wanna start this one by saying I don’t think anyone in this situation should receive any hate for how we decided to perceive and accept things BUT I’m ngl I’m gonna have a lot of thoughts if L&A are together and those thoughts aren’t just aimed at Luke. Everyone has been complicit in the narrative that brought us here - Luke, Nic, Shondaland, Ryan, etc. They know what discussed online and they knew back in August how people were interpreting things so they’ve had months to set the record straight and launch any relationships. Polin is the B-ton moneymaker and that’s because of the fans. I refuse to believe all these people would be complicit in stringing along and alienating the fans. (And for the record - no matter how this plays out I will remain a fan of both because I love them both and I love Polin.)

4. MOST IMPORTANTLY:

Why are we so quick to jump to this relationship but we denounce Nic and Jake? You can say because Jake is gay (yes I believe this) but truly we have NO PROOF of that. He hasn’t said it. She hasn’t said it. We’re going fully off context clues. For all we know he could be bi, pan, or as straight as they come and they could be in the most blissfully happy relationship in the world. (Not true IMO but my point is that we don’t know anything beyond what is shown to us.) So let’s review the following:

Nic & Jake: have been to non professional events together and posted online with friends, have posted each other on Instagram, comment on each others posts, attend professional events together, and have been papped on “dates”

Luke & Antonia: caught kissing over a year ago, attended some professional events together, haven’t been seen together in 7 months, and like all insta posts in a suspiciously fast and consistent manner.

If you were to ask me I’d say Nic and Jake are the ones in a real relationship (if i knew nothing about the outside factors). So if we are willing to sit here and give Nic and Jake the benefit of the doubt and say it’s not real and wait it out then we should be able to do the same now with Luke and Antonia until we get more concrete evidence. Because truly last night was nothing different than what has been presented to us by Nic and Jake. The only difference is the internalized feelings and people have surrounding Antonia and her existence.

I stand by what I’ve always said - until Nic or Luke (or an official source on their behalf) say “boyfriend” or “girlfriend,” those terms do not apply.

What this fandom has taught me is that if I’m ever wrongfully accused of a crime, I do not want 95% of you on my jury because you all jump to conclusions so fast and don’t do any critical thinking.

Next time something happens and you find yourself about to spiral, take a tip from a wise friend of mine and give it 24 hours because I PROMISE you things will become clearer. 😉

And also congrats to Bridgerton S3 for being the Top Streamed Show of 2024. Nic and Luke did that and I’m so proud. 💛

And also - Luke and those curls man. 🥵🥵🥵

Fave anon has blessed us with her words once more.

Please take note.

[aninipanin1]

How about Young manager with ADHD (continuously gets lost within Blue Lock, interrupts Ego using the PA system (accidentally) about trivial things, misplaces objects, rather naive etc),,, lol

LOST SHEEP

Notes: I personally do not have ADHD and my knowledge about it is quite small, so please forgive me if I misrepresent it here! I do not have any intentions of doing so, and if I do make some mistakes, please let me know! I am genuinely interested in being much more knowledgeable about this topic. Thank you!

"Y/n-chan...? What are you doing there..?"

Hiori asked, blinking at the rather bizarre scene in front of him. The midfielder just finished his daily training routines when he stepped inside of the laundry room to place his laundry basket.

But when he did walk in, he found their precious manager crouched down, hugging your legs as your eyes focused intensely at the small window of the washing machine, eyes boring at the spinning clothes inside the contraption.

In fact, you were too focused to even notice or hear the music of the other machines that alerted the room about how the process was done. You were just sitting there, staring, eyes blinking rarely, as if the rotation of the washing machine was a rare circus show to your eyes.

Everyone in the facility knew of your...tendencies and are more than understanding and ready to help you return your attention to whatever you were currently doing. Hiori was no different as he approached your crouched figure and lightly held your shoulder to take your attention back, but he made sure to be gentle enough to not scare you.

"Y/n-chan, earth to Y/n-chan. Are you okay?" He said in the softest voice he can muster, his hands supporting your crouched figure that almost lost its balance. You looked a bit dazed still from your previous episode, blinking at the sudden interruption. Turning to the blue-haired player, you tilted your head.

"Hiori-kun? What are we doing here...? What's happening?"

"Everything is fine, Y/n-chan. You just got a bit distracted with the washing machine." He explained, raising one of his hands to your hair, softly patting it in a comforting manner. He guided you up from your position and helped with the laundry that had long been done.

"Oh, I didnt notice that the rest were done..." you said in realization, looking at the washing machine with wide eyes. Hiori, who could not help himself, pinched one of your cheeks.

"Its fine, let's just get the rest of the laundry and hang it up, yeah?"

'Geez, she's too cute to be even real...' he inwardly gushed.

"What do you mean you can't find her?" Ego said, glaring at a worried Anri the moment he received the news. Apparently, you have been missing for more than an hour now, with no one from any stratum knowing where you were or even seeing you pass by.

"I'm a little worried. We all know how she gets when she's super distracted."

Ego sighed, rubbing his temple and not even adjusting his glasses that fell off the bridge of his nose. Out of everyone in there, he knew, especially how you can get. Being the one you always worked alongside with, there were times when you would be too focused on something trivial like a moving object or a rather miniscule detail that you would end up forgetting everything you were currently and supposed to be doing.

Now, most of the time, he encourages this. Ego cannot count how many times you ended up helping him and the players as a whole because your fixations on even the most minute of details always ended up being the root cause of a problem.

Hence, why, starting then, he always trusted your mini hyperfixations, no matter how dumb it may sound. You were naive, yes, but you are also a genius, something most people around you know of. So, early on, Ego trusted these said instincts and fixations and revolving them into something that would benefit everybody.

However, there are times like these where those hyperfixations end up disadvantageous. Somehow, you always get lost in the worst times in the worst places possible. Once, the whole facility literally had to work together in order to find you, only for Niko to find you crawling around the storage room near the cafeteria, chasing a ladybug that got your attention while you tried to find your way around the facility again.

There was no time for that kind of thing, however, seeing as to how the day after tomorrow was the last games for the Neo Egoist League, and the staff desperately needed to arrange everything and anything under the sun to make sure the games and livestream are all smooth sailing.

And, they definitely needed you, the overall manager of the teams, there.

"What do we do, Ego-san?"

"I'll look around in my cameras. Try to find her in the usual spot and rooms she crawls and runs on, or those rooms that have a lot of things she can fidget with." He sighed, feeling so done with everything that happened that day.

"Okay. I'll ask help from the rest of the staff."

Just as they were about to start looking for you though, the PA system was suspiciously turned on.

"Huh? It's not even 12 in the noon yet."

Anri said, confused, but all their questioning were answered when they heard the loud feedback of the mic before hearing small scratches and fidgeting noises in the mix. There were even times when they heard some buttons being pushed about. Ego sighed again, but it felt more like a breath of relief.

"That's her. Get that problem child and bring her here." Ego said, spinning his chair to face the cameras. And would you know it, when he went back through the CCTV cameras' previous footages, he saw you in the PA room, fidgeting with the buttons of the system. If he were to be honest, he felt a huge sigh of relief that you were not doing anything that may have harmed you of sort.

After a few minutes, Anri opened the door to his office but alongside her was Don Lorenzo who was smirking as he held you by the scruff of your jacket. Carrying you like a lost kitten, while you only blinked at the predicament you were in, constantly asking Anri about what you were supposed to do again and just babbling stories to Lorenzo and Anri.

"The lost sheep is here." He said, bringing you on the ground as carefully as he could, nodding along to whatever you said about how microphones actually worked and how you were just curious and wanted to experiment if your knowledge and hypothesis were actually real or whatever your mind was thinking about currently.

"Y/n." Ego said a bit sternly, making you stop talking as you looked at the man.

"Try to bring someone with you when you go on your little adventures sometimes." He said before turning his swivel chair once again to face the many monitors, turning his back to you.

"Okay, Ego-san!" You cheered happily, not even bothered about what had just transpired as you went back to your notebook to continue writing and working.

'This girl is going to be the death of me. This is why I don't want kids.' Ego thought, shaking his head.

"Rin-kun. Have you seen Mr. Boba?"

"Hah?"

Rin said, his usual frown in his face. But, this was more of a frown of confusion. He knew you had the habit of naming normal objects with names you found either fitting or adorable, by your standards of course. So, when you approached the striker about a supposed 'Mr. Boba,' he had no idea what the hell you were even looking for.

"Mr. Boba! He has tons of dots that's why he's Mr. Boba." You insisted, your face in a frown because you can't find what you were looking for at all and it was starting to thin your patience a bit.

"Look, I don't know what your Mr. Boba is. What even is it? Is it a hairpin of a boba, or a keychain?" Rin asked. He really did want to help you find Mr. Boba, but you were not exactly helping your case as you kept insisting Mr. Boba was Mr. Boba.

That was until Karasu and Shidou entered the field that helped him and you.

"Y/n-chan! Hi! Why are you sad?!" Shidou asked as he jumped to hug you, before frowning himself, not liking that you were clearly upset by the look at the frown on your face.

"What's wrong, Y/n-chan?" Karasu added, patting your hair.

"Did Rinrin over here make you sad? I'll beat him up for you if you want, Y/n-cha-"

"Shut the fuck up, lukewarm idiot. I didn't do crap." Rin intercepted Shidou, feeling the veins on his head pop.

"No, no, Shidou-san. I just can't find Mr. Boba. What do I do? I need him." The frown on your face deepened into a pout. Karasu was confused as hell who was this Mr. Boba you were talking about. He turned to Rin, who only glared at him.

"I dont know who the hell her Mr. Boba is."

But, Shidou seemed to understand who your Mr. Boba was as the grin on his face widened and he pulled your phone out from your jacket pocket and extended it to your hand.

"Mr. Boba!" You cheered happily at the phone.

"Silly Y/n-chan. It was in your pocket all along!" Shidou said as he pinched your cheeks and stretching it. Meanwhile, Karasu and Rin were just left confused to the side, wondering how the hell was a phone comparable to a boba.

"That's Mr. Boba? What the hell. I don't see it." Karasu commented, but Shidou only stuck his tongue out at both of them.

"You all are blind losers. Can't you see the phonecase design? It has black circles in the bottom and since its a clear case, you can see the (f/c) of the phone! So its like boba." Shidou explained, pointing out the small design of the phone that somehow made it look like a boba in both your and his eyes.

"Yeah! Like Shidou-san said!" You cheered as you hugged the male, thanking him sweetly for helping you find your Mr. Boba.

"I'm surrounded by idiots." Rin said, facepalming as Karasu just laughed.

"Shut the hell up, Rin-rin! You can't say that to Y/n-chan!!!"

"Who said I was also talking about her?"

ADDITIONAL TIME!

Since everyone in the Blue Lock facility found out about your disorder, they became much more protective of you overall.

You are waiting in line for food? No, youre not. Everyone is letting you get your food first.

You have bad time management? They'd help with that. They'll be your personal alarm clock.

You are feeling so bored and want to fidget with something? They'd let you play with their hands while they listened to Ego's damn lectures.

It's all about maintaining your attention span yet enabling you to become a better person as a whole. To improve your mental health and also make you feel that you are more than your disorder.

But, of course, they can't help but spoil you every once in a while. No biggie!

Blue Lock is WRITTEN by Kaneshiro Muneyuki and ILLUSTRATED by Nomura Yusuke. All credits to the both of them.

[seewetter]

Absolutely.

Although there's many things happening in parallel:

well-meaning people (not just cis feminists) focusing on psychology when that's inappropriate (often at the expense of considering the wider social context) or undervaluing community building and mobilization

well-meaning people focusing only on who is targeted not because they value reverse engineering bigoted psychology ... but because they are fixated on some groups over others

well-meaning people focusing only on who is affected for reasons similar to those mentioned above

Like recently a post went around trying to completely sideline trans women (and I mean sideline) from recent legislative issues targetting the "protection of women" from "woke gender ideology" and instead center intersex people because the definitions put forth by that legislation would legally define intersex people out of existence.

Now I understand and appreciate that existential risk that results from a formalized legal erasure of intersex people's biological existence. I really appreciate why people want to make intersex people a central issue when discussing this legislation. But they can't just become the central issue, the only thing under discussion, when the law also existentially threatens the entire queer community, especially the trans community and is aimed at trans people and specifically leverages anxieties about women's safety from trans women in order to make the entire law sound coherent, reasonable and socially acceptable.

Like I'll always try and make time for anyone's existential concerns, whether they are affected or targeted!

But as I explained in response to the intersex (and perisex trans) people who felt that intersex people were the singular central issue, this leads to a political strategy in which a group of innocents (in this case intersex people) get affected by a policy not aimed at them -- and I find it comparable to a few years ago, where DREAMers (children of undocumented immigrants) were the innocents, rather than undocumented immigrants themselves. Pulling on heartstrings and making a big deal out of this particular innocently victimized group led to bipartisan support for the DREAMers...which eventually fizzled out as public attention waned. So DREAMers never became a wedge issue to challenge how legal status is defined (or to abolish it altogether) and instead, DREAMers suffering (they lose their parents who are deported, it's genuinely horrible, especially for a child) just became a distraction from the important opposition that people need to give to the rhetoric and declared values of their opponents!

Like if someone is stirring up a moral panic and basing it on talk about "defending women" (not defending men, defending women) and the moral panic leads to policy that violates human rights and freedoms, what do we gain strategically from talking not about the casual inhumanity of this alleged "defense of women", about the monstrosities it inflicts on its intended targets, but instead only focus our attention of unintended targets who may be severely affected (in some cases more severely affected). Like that just sounds like a rightward shift to me, an abandonment of universal human rights as a guiding principle, if that makes sense? Like we can intellectually wax poetic about how we value human rights, but if we manage crises where we could help all affected people but instead we use the concept of "affectedness" to only help people who are especially affected...I find that cowardly and short-sighted. Or even if only an unrelated group were affected, I think it matters that the intended victim may have escaped victimization only because of luck ... that the intended target of inhuman policymaking is relevant precisely because that's who is in the crosshairs. Like I do believe who is being targeted and hunted for sport might have a lot of predictive value and allow us to allocate certain support structures more effectively than only trying to fix specific damage done, often as a side effect of a different process.

To give a more broad example of this: in the long term, one of the main stumbling blocks for feminism proves to be the financial dependency of homemakers (like housewives) from people who have money (their families, their partners). Given that housework doesn't pay a living wage and enable an independent lifestyle, a lot of people (in particular a lot of men) who earn money are reluctant to switch to full-time housework, meaning that the main breadwinner in many households remains male and the main dependent adult remains a woman. That dependency really entrenches ideas of who men and women "naturally" are and gives rise to the misleading and incorrect intuitive judgment that gender equality has been achieved yet biology makes the sexes different. This is a pretty central structure, yet it also focuses our feminism away from trying to dispel gender stereotypes mainly on tv and in movies... and instead focuses on trying to give people financial independence. And once we think in these financial and resource-centric terms, I think this kind of feminism becomes a kind of witness to large economic forces that shape human lives, thinking about how ableist or classist stereotypes arise from living conditions that drive people toward peak performance or that are the result of a society where classes exist in the first place. (No poverty -- and no one looks down on or mistreats the poor...).

These things aren't psychological, and yet they are political blueprints that help explain why targeting arises to begin with. To be affected by bad things, all it takes is a natural disaster or a mistake. Being affected doesn't confront us with much complexity or challenge. The answer to people affected by flooding...is to help. Being targeted implies various mechanisms, various tools, various relationships, it implies some need for ambitious problem-solving.

That's where these approaches get their strengths and their weaknesses. Talking affected helps us quickly mobilize support. Talking targeted helps us begin to understand what will avert future crises of this type. Both are necessary. The art is to develop enough of a sense of how the targeting works so you can mostly help everyone affected. Once you know how the targeting works, it's less likely you'll misunderstand how the ongoing situation you are in is developing -- those misunderstandings, like the assumption that focusing on DREAMers and building alliances "across the aisle" to start from the worst-affected and work your way up, can be costly.

Like especially in the trans community, the idea that transfeminine people need to "shut up in solidarity" is quite old. Back in 2011 I heard it mostly second-hand. These days I see it everywhere on Tumblr and if we aren't careful it may take over communities IRL (in some places, like certain community conventions, it has already demonstrably done so). And here, the idea of "we are all affected" plays a role. Trans men who find themselves faced with a form of misogyny that is used to both misgender them, closet them and do violence to them are often looking for word that isn't misogyny to describe how they are affected, often trying to mirror a word like "transmisogyny" (transmisandry, isomisogyny, transandrophobia etc. have all been proposed at various points in time). The reason this doesn't lead to much solidarity is that these attempts seem to follow a cycle:

Step 1: Find a word for my suffering / how I am affected

Step 2: (Implicit) be disinterested in why I am not the primary target used to leverage transphobic hate campaigns; refuse to engage existing academic literature on the topic of the long-term plans and psychology of transphobes

Step 3: Construct a worldview in which I am more affected since I experience a form of misogyny blended with transphobia, so I must be the intersectional victim of these two axes of oppression.

Step 4: Disregard what transfeminine people have to say as privileged, disregard suggestions that I read academic literature as manipulation attempts or classism or ableism

Step 5: Develop an overall hostile view of transfeminism (two transfem-centric) and of transfeminine people. Become hostile to rhetoric like tma/tme (I agree this rhetoric is unnecessary and used by insular communities of transfeminine users on Tumblr to be assholes, but obviously it is rhetoric that was developed with a lot of thought, found a place in academic writing for a reason and wholesale vilifying people who use it as oppressors is a bit much)

Step 6: Work to center trans men over trans women, collaborate with TERFs that praise one's assertions of more severe victimhood, allege that transfeminists are playing oppression olympics... while trying to assert that oneself is the ultimate oppressed victim.

The whole crux of transfeminism since Julia Serano's Whipping Girl has been that idea of targetting. I'm not accusing you, dear Tumblr user boreal-sea, of anything here! (I hope you know that -- I appreciate your original post and your response!) But I do not want this to be forgotten. Like the targetting conversation just is pretty central to understanding how people maintain oppressive structures. Without a whipping girl (or an equivalent), patriarchy doesn't know what to do. Anyone who has read Manufacturing Consent can imagine how Islamophobia fits into the manufacturing of ideological consensus. Anyone who engages with Adorno and Horkheimer can imagine how Antisemitism in Nazi Germany was central to the functioning of fascism, just as the figure of Wokeness is fairly central to Republican claims of improving the world rather than making it worse. These are all targets. They are all targets needed to maintain the negative effect. If nationalists can't terrorize their fellow citizens into "shared national values", then they lose the ability to convincingly argue that they belong to a nation. And that means that they lose solidarity, unity, they lose their support to bully other countries and extort wealth from them. That's why nationalists *need* domestic targets, groups of people they can vilify and oppress within their own borders who are considered citizens of equal status to themselves by the state, whose status nationalists seek to remove. Nationalists will opportunistically shift targets to whatever they think they can get away with. If we focus on "who is affected" ...well that may change, within a very short span of time. Had the monkeypox epidemic not been nipped in the bud, the whole queer community could have been a prime target. Had 3rd wave feminism never happened, conservatives in the trans community might have become prominent anti-feminists...prominent enough to make "being transgender" a central "proof" of the evils of feminism and potentially the nationalists would have all been pro-trans, instead of welcoming TERFs into their hateful arms. Like we have to understand what is going on, we have to understand the goals, the plans, the broader context, the broader project and ambitions...otherwise we are just doing temporary damage control.

Does that make sense? Like I think "who is affected" is a really good and valuable question, I just also have seen it (like any idea) been abused. Like I'm just as worried that "who is targeted" becomes an excuse for endless theory and inaction. I just think we need to be careful.

I’m going to try to articulate this in a way that perhaps everyone will understand.

I don’t think it’s helpful to discuss who is “targeted” by any particular policy. I think it’s more helpful to discus who that policy affects.

Abortion bans affect everyone with a uterus.

In the USA, statistically, most people with a uterus are perisex cis women. This means that the majority of people affected by an abortion ban will be perisex cis women.

However

The largest group is not necessarily the demographic most at risk.

I do not say “perisex cis women as a collective” here because I’m an intersectional feminist and I know that no such collective actually exists. Perisex cis women experience a kaleidoscope of intersecting risk factors that can make them more or less vulnerable to reproductive harm.

And taking intersectionality into account, we have to acknowledge that trans and intersex people with uteruses face additional risks when accessing abortion compared to perisex cis women. This may mean certain trans and intersex individuals may have higher risks than some perisex cis women.

Acknowledging this increased risk isn’t ignoring perisex cis women or erasing them from the discussion. It’s just acknowledging the most vulnerable among us.

[cicobuffs]

OOP girl also…preachers daughter having a purity ring…at first Patrick doesn’t really think about it and then…realizes and asks her, she’s like “oh yah…my parents gave me it when I turned 12 ☺���” and now he can’t stop seeing it, the glint of it while they’re out in the sun, the cold silver on his cheek when they kiss and she grabs him, when they hold hands, when she’s playing w his hands, she washes her hands and thinks she lost it and panics, Patrick helps her find it, smirking as he hands it over to her. One time while they do it (not sure if the first time) he takes it off with his mouth 😵‍💫. she starts wearing it on a necklace after their first time, “because I lose it so much” she tells her parents, in reality she feels guilty acting like she’s still “pure”, he’s still a sweet pure girl to pat, no matter how many times they “do it”, because the way they do it its practically worship ☺️- pd!anon

the way i see this after answering the first purity ring ask... u guys are on the same wavelength

like patrick definitely sees the ring as something like a competition and its like a constant reminder of your purity. and you're just naturally sweet and nice which is its own form being pure of course, but he kinda takes it as a win when you start wearing the ring as a necklace because he knows the sexual purity that the ring assured for the people around you is long gone by now. he always tells you that technically with him intimacy and sex is essentially worship so how wrong or impure can it really be? once your parents notice the ring being around your neck, they are definitely like oh wow what a creative way to never lose her ring :) but you know what it means whenever you wake up in the morning and pull the necklace out from under your shirt in the mirror.

[sailordraftss]

Forever, no more. - Sae Itoshi ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ

summary : When Sae Itoshi left for Spain, he hurt Rin the most but he also managed to hurt his girlfriend, you.

warning(s) : not edited, angst?, out of character?, use of (Y/N)

The airport terminal buzzed with the sounds of departing flights, the announcements, and the soft shuffle of people walking to and from their gates. But for you, it felt like everything had slowed down. Your heart was caught in the whirlwind of emotions, stuck between wanting to run to him and the painful understanding that this moment had been inevitable.

Sae stood in front of you, his bag slung over his shoulder, eyes slightly downcast. His signature smile towards you was missing, replaced with a shadow of guilt and uncertainty.

“(Y/N) …” His voice broke through the noise, quieter than usual. He wasn’t looking at you, and that made your chest tighten.

“Don’t say it,” you whispered, shaking your head, your throat constricting as tears welled in your eyes. “Don’t say you have to leave. I… I can’t hear it again. I love you, Sae.”

You had heard this before. He had been telling you for months now—how his dreams were pulling him away, how the invitation from Spain was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, how the pressure to be the best, to prove himself, was too much to ignore.

But knowing it didn’t make it any easier.

His gaze lifted, meeting yours, and for a split second, you saw it—the conflict in his eyes, the silent apology. But it was too late for apologies. The reality was here. He was leaving, and nothing you said could change that.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, stepping closer but not quite reaching her. “I… I never wanted to hurt you, (Y/N). You know that, right?”

Your breath hitched as you nodded, forcing back the flood of tears. Don’t cry, don’t cry, you kept telling yourself, but the weight of the situation crushed your will. How many times had you tried to convince yourself this was okay? That you understood? But now that he was standing there, so close yet so far, it felt like the earth beneath your feet was shifting, pulling you into a pit of despair.

“You’ll come back,” You said, your voice cracking. It wasn’t a question, but a desperate plea.

Sae’s lips pressed into a thin line. He reached out, almost touching her cheek, but pulled his hand back as if the distance between them was the only thing keeping him grounded.

“I don’t know, (Y/N). I don’t know what’s going to happen. This... this is my chance to make it. To be who I’ve always wanted to be. I have to take it.”

You nodded slowly, the words tearing you apart as they left his mouth. This is his dream, you told herself. This is what he’s worked for.

But it didn’t make the pain go away.

“I understand,” you whispered, looking away as the tears finally slipped down your cheeks. “I know you have to go. I just… I wish there was another way.”

Sae’s face softened, and for a moment, he looked at you as though he didn’t want to leave. Like he could change everything if he just stayed. But he didn’t say it. He didn’t make any promises, because he couldn’t. And that truth hurt more than any goodbye.

“I’ll never forget you,” he said, almost too softly to hear. His voice wavered, and your heart shattered at the sound of it.

Your chest tightened, and you took a step back, trying to hold onto the last moments of the life they shared. “You don’t need to promise me that,” you said with a quiet sob, shaking your head. “I just want you to be happy, Sae. No matter what happens.”

Sae’s face crumpled, but he didn’t speak. Instead, he took one final, lingering look at her before turning to walk toward the gate. The world around you seemed to blur, your vision fogged by tears you couldn’t stop.

“Goodbye, (Y/N),” he said without looking back.

And with that, he disappeared into the crowd, into the path that would take him away from you, away from everything you had been with him.

She stood there, frozen, as the sound of his departure echoed in you mind. Goodbye, you thought. Goodbye, Sae… I hope you find everything you’re looking for.

[bwat5-blog]

Continuing The Cycle

**Spoilers For Arcane**

Let me say to begin with, that nothing in this post is to downplay or brush off Piltover's oppression of Zaun. There will be some who read that and still scream at me, that's okay. I just want to be clear.

Many people on here more insightful and intelligent than I have spoken on this already, but it has been sticking with me lately so I wanted to get my thoughts out.

I have been quite free with dismantling some of the inane attempts at criticism of Arcane in this space. But, I promise I do actually understand everyone is entitled to their opinion. After all, how we connect with and understand art on an individual level is one of the things that make it so special. I have never, and will never come for someone who is simply stating their honest opinion based on the actual content in a respectful manner.

Where my issues come in, have to do with these wide-spread critiques/takes/stances that so directly undermine the meaning of the narrative they are best ignorant and at worst malicious. And more often than not rely on omission of details that negates their stance, or fabrication of details to support them. To that end, what I am discussing today is the black and white thinking that has permeated the fandom, poisoning understanding and appreciation of all corners of that narrative.

LET'S JUST GET IT OUT OF THE WAY:

*Before we get into the Arcane content, we need to discuss where a lot of this is coming from. I am just gonna get this out here right now, and there are some people who are gonna keel over reading it but if you are one of those folks I might as well not waste your time*

Arcane is not the Israeli–Palestinian conflict.

It could not be more clear that this is where a lot of this is coming from. Let me be explicitly clear, this is NOT a deep-dive or analysis of this conflict. This thing is immensely complicated . If you comment here with a "IT IS NOT COMPLICATED ITS" sort of comment I'm sorry to tell you but you are wrong. The modern phase of this has origins as far back as the late nineteenth century and there is more going back even further. I don't care if its a straight fucking line. Something going back that far has more to it than the average nerd like me is qualified to speak on. Now, that being said, I do understand to a degree why this is happening. Not like this conflict has ever really been settled but in the last few years especially things have really been active and generating a degree of media content I don't remember seeing this level of in my short 32 years. So in a world where everyone (myself included) is so plugged in and enveloped by social media, a lot of us are getting a more direct look at this than we really ever have. And we analyze and connect with art through the lens of the world around us to a point. But we CANNOT do so exclusively. Trying to force a narrative into a one-to-one comparison robs it of a tremendous amount of meaning. Because no matter how complex and intricate this story actually can be. IT IS NOT REALITY. I'm not getting into it here, that would be pages and pages of writing and I'm here to talk about Arcane. But I'm going to say this because it applies to real life and the show both and will take us into my actual point today.

The idea that anyone on one side must always be good and justified simply because they are the oppressed, while the other must always be evil, is juvenile, naïve, and fails to grasp even a fraction of the complexity of human nature

Some of you are going to have an absolute seizure reading me say that that statement applies to real life as well. I don't care. It takes time, maturity, and meeting people from all walks of life to understand things are not so simple.

BACK TO ARCANE:

But, that being said time to get back to business. How does this all apply to Arcane?

"The show should have ended with a civil war between Zaun and Piltover!"

"When Zaun arrived during the last battle Jinx should have unloaded on the Enforcers and the Noxians both!"

"They ruined Jinx's character! WTF do you mean she apologized for killing Caitlyn's mother? Her mom was part of the oppressive system that ruined Jinx's life and brought it on herself!"

"Silco did bad things but it was all to gain power to protect Zaun!"

"Poor little rich girl lost her mom and acts like it's a reason to punish an entire city with warcrimes. The people of Zaun have been suffering worse for their entire history"

"Rebel Vi I miss you! How dare they make you care about people in Piltover!"

"The coward show runners made Zaunites into boot-lickers fighting for Piltover wearing Enforcer armor at the end!"

You get the idea. I have seen variations of these and many more time and time again. Zaun should have let Piltover fall or even attacked themselves. Caitlyn deserved everything done to her because she's of the Piltovan elite. Every terrible thing Jinx or Silco did was totally and completely justified because of Piltovan oppression.

Now there are many angles I could come at this from. My usual one is simply addressing the astounding lack of logic in most of these sorts of arguments. For example, I can rope all of the people saying Zaun should have let Piltover fall into one category. People who forgot about this guy:

Like he was just gonna "evolve" Piltover than call it a day and zoot off into space with his new buddies. Obviously not and the idea that he wouldn't immediately take Zaun as well then keep moving is completely laughable. But this sort of thing isn't my issue today. My issue is that those so zealously insisting the the show should have continued on a path of hate, death and destruction are completely missing the point.

I titled this continuing the cycle for a reason. So much of this show, revolves around this concept of the cycle of violence. Those who keep it going, those who suffer from it, and those who break it. And the issue I'm finding is that a tremendous amount of people have seemingly decided that anything people from Zaun do is justified, and anything people from Piltover do is not. When in fact, where they are born is irrelevant in this context. Because each and everyone of them has the choice to further the cycle, or to walk away.

Silco & Vander:

Vander continued the cycle when instead of forgiving Silco for his part (whatever it may have been, we never really get the whole story) in Felicia's death he tried to kill him. And Silco did the same when he took his revenge instead of walking away ending not only the life of the man who wronged him, but causing the deaths of two teenage boys, trying to have Vi killed and causing her imprisonment altering her life forever, and taking Powder as his own after obliterating her second family altering her life and the lives of all those she would hurt through her actions as well.

Caitlyn:

In Caitlyn we see all three. She was an admittedly naïve but well-meaning young woman who was victimized terribly by cycle of violence around all for thinking she could help. We then watch her heart-breaking transformation into being a part of it allowing her hate and pain to warp her into someone dark and vengeful. Then finally we see her laying down the hate for her mothers killer in favor of her love for the woman who means everything to her. Stepping outside of it and turning her back on that violence.

There are of course other examples. Jinx walking away, Ambessa choosing to continue the bloodshed even with her last child begging her to stop. the list goes on. My point in discussing this is that it doesn't matter where they come from. Characters from all over this story play a part both good and bad in the events that occur. And to properly appreciate and understand this tale and what it is saying we MUST recognize that.

Yes Silco was a Zaunite. No Silco was not justified in unleashing Shimmer on his own people. He was a revolutionary once, but he lost his way. In the end he died a violent drug lord who exploited his people for his own gain. He was not a hero.

Yes Jinx is a Zaunite. No, Jinx attacking the council was not a noble strike for her people against oppression. She was a terrified, mentally ill, grieving and angry young woman who lashed out in a moment of awful pain. And in doing guaranteed Piltovan oppression against her people. .

Yes, Heimerdinger was the father of Piltover and his neglect caused terrible problems for everyone. He also gave his life for a Zaunite rebel commander to help get him home. (I understand in the lore he's probably alive but we haven't seen that yet and they have for sure diverged so it isn't a guarantee)

Yes, Caitlyn Kiramman is the daughter of one of the high houses of Piltover, and played a part of the people of Zaun suffering under Ambessa's manipulations and cruelty. She also gave the leader of the Firelights the gemstone she was so determined to return, stood side-by-side with Vi and told the council to their faces they failed Zaun, and put her own body on the line to make things right against Ambessa.

And that isn't to say that any of those characters were all good or all bad. It's to say that they all are capable of both. Just like every character. To slap a Zaun sticker on Silco and a Piltover (or cop as so many of you are fond of) sticker on Caitlyn and give them a pass or not for everything they do based on that is simplistic and ignorant. These characters have so much to them that to reduce them to these easily digestible bite-sized pieces is to deprive yourself of that true weight of this story.

All that said, lets take another look at a few items from that list from earlier:

"The show should have ended with a civil war between Zaun and Piltover!"// At the moment where all of humanity was at stake, people came together and fought side by side to quite literally save the world

"They ruined Jinx's character! WTF do you mean she apologized for killing Caitlyn's mother? Her mom was part of the oppressive system that ruined Jinx's life and brought it on herself!"// In a moment of pain and clarity Jinx found herself speaking to someone she realized she horribly wronged. Someone who had been twisted into something dark and violent by pain and grief, a feeling Jinx knew all too well. So she said the most she could, it isn't a direct apology. But her remorse is clear. "

"When Zaun arrived during the last battle Jinx should have unloaded on the Enforcers and the Noxians both!"// Jinx went from someone hated and feared, who felt like she had nothing to offer anyone, who felt like she had failed or killed everyone who loved her, to riding into battle leading her people and bearing symbols of her loved ones into the war for all mankind. And although I and most agree she's alive, the last act we know she for sure that she took was to save the life of the older sister who loved her so much in her most dire moment. If she did die, Jinx died a hero.

CLOSING WORDS:

Arcane is many things. But it's humanity is its heart. I've said it many times and many ways, but good stories... in this case great stories matter. They stick with us. Because long after the giant battles, the wolf monsters, and shiny blue magic rocks have faded, its the humanity you remember. The sisters fighting desperately to hold on to each-other in a world determined to rip them apart. The lovers from different worlds finding hope in each-others arms. Brothers betraying one another, a daughter having to take her mothers life, the list goes on. But when we rob these characters and this story of all of that, when the flash is gone, what's left?

I haven't done a long one in a bit and I feel like this is a bit rambling so I apologize. To those who take time out of their day to read anything I have to say I appreciate you more than you know. Feel free to share your thoughts! I love discussing this show. And in closing will leave you with one of my favorite quotes.

“It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for"

- JRR Tolkien

[pwblant]

24. the end

it’s the next day. yesterday, you were terrified to open your phone, dreading the harsh reality you expected from the fans. the whole time, you couldn’t shake off the terrible thoughts about the future of the café, but you tried to keep your cool. you spent the night at wonbin’s place, and he kept you company, constantly reassuring you that everything would be okay. but if things went wrong, then what? what happens next?

while eating breakfast, you glance at wonbin, who’s sitting next to you, and finally ask the question that’s been weighing on your mind. “bin, your company would force us to break up if they don’t approve of me, right?”

he barely hesitates. “y/n,” he says firmly, looking at you. “we’ve already talked about this before. stop thinking about it because it’s not going to happen.” then, as if to emphasize his point, he pulls the hair tie off his wrist and gathers your messy hair into a ponytail.

“whatever happens, we. are. not. breaking. up. i wont let it happen.” his voice is steady, full of determination.

the room goes silent for a few seconds until you reach over to pick up your phone on the counter.

“this is killing me,” you let out a shaky breath. “i’m going to check twitter.”

wonbin exhales deeply. “alright, but remember y/n, i’m always going to be here by your side no matter what the result is. i’m really just hoping for the best at this point.”

with a lump in your throat, you open the app, expecting to see nothing but harsh words. except… they aren’t there. instead, you’re met with an overwhelming amount of kindness.

your hand flies up to cover your mouth. “oh.”

wonbin immediately tenses. “what? what’s happening? is it bad?” his voice laced with concern.

shaking your head, you stand up, barely able to contain your excitement. before you know it, you’re throwing your arms around him. “i’m so happy, i’m so happy.” your words come out muffled against his shoulder.

he lets out a breath of relief, hugging you tighter. “so i’m guessing it’s good?”

you pull back just enough to look at him, eyes shining. “there’s still a few bad ones, but i saw so many positive responses. does this mean….”

he studies your face, smiling as he wipes away the stray tears that escaped your shiny eyes. then, as if he can’t help himself, he leans in, closing the space between you. his lips brush softly against yours—gentle, but full of relief and love. warmth spreads through your chest, and you smile into the kiss, your heart melting.

this is it. no more hiding. no more fear. it’s just the two of you, together, just as you should be.

when you pull away, he rests his forehead against yours, a breathy chuckle escaping him. “yes. yes it does mean what you think it does. i’m so excited,” he murmurs, his thumb grazing your cheek.

his eyes soften as he cups your face. “we don’t have to hide anymore. i can hold your hand in public, take you on dates, and post you without worrying about what people will say.” he pauses, his lips curling into a small grin. “rrr y/n. i’m glad you’re stuck with me now. i’m never letting you go.”

you roll your eyes, but your heart flutters all the same. “i wouldn’t want to be stuck with any other black cat anyway.” with a smirk, you pinch his cheek in return.

masterlist | previous

TAGLIST : CLOSED

@binoyu @sqh3e @antosaurius @yoursyuno @jvngw0nlvr @dorritoni @dudekiss3r @tadadw @choc0br3ad @kukkurookkoo @haobubbles @aruzhananas @holyhaech

a/n : aaaand this marks the end of Can’t Get You! thank you to everyone who came to support this fic and i’m looking forward to create even more things for you guys to read in the future. it’s kind of sad that it finally came to an end, but i hope that everyone enjoyed it like how i enjoyed making it🫧 boynextdoor fics next?? jkjk, unless…. 👀

[bl-inded]

Unpopular Opinion Time!

Jun is right.

Okay! Okay! Put the pitchforks down! I'm not saying what he did was right, but I still think he has a point.

Thame is a 100% green flag. He's absolutely sweet, extremely adorable, and he always makes it a point to make Po feel important. And i fosho believe that for they are good for each other and deserve the best! They are endgame in my heart too!

Buuuut! I think Jun sees things in Po that he isn't even ready to see in himself yet. Idk if Jun likes Po romantically or not, and I'm not gonna speculate (though the delicious angst of that! Oof). I also think it doesn't matter because what we all should be focusing on is that he cares a lot about everyone, and he definitely cares about Po and Thame.

And for some reason, he has this screwed-up logic that making himself the bad guy is the best way to resolve the situation. He did it when he wanted Thame to escape the slave contract and go to Korea, and he's doing it now by making Thame and Po confront their feelings (I bet he probably did that when Dylan and Thame were getting close too 🤷🏽‍♀️ coz let's be honest Dylan- also very rough around the edges).

Now, I will always be a Jun defender. But, we as the audience know what happened to Po in his previous relationship that neither Jun nor Thame know (I don't think, correct me if I'm wrong). And Thame is perfect! But Jun puts in the effort to make Po feel like he's smart, talented and capable- Granted it's by scolding and teasing him- but it's still true.

I love love looovveeee the air hockey scene. Like so many things about it hit!! But I love it when Jun switches sides from being the red flag villain, back to Thame and Po's friend. Oooooooof.

Like, yeah. He's done playing the bad guy because the situation is resolved. Thame might think they both have an equal chance, but Jun knows that that's simply not true. And now he knows the right thing to do, so he does it. He concedes.

I know ThamePo is endgame. I accept it! So tell me WHYYYY!?

Tell me why this scene makes me hurt?!?!

I'm not going to speculate if Jun liked Po romantically. But I'd be damned if I let people go around calling Jun "annoying" and "unnecessary" without saying something about it. Because I think he is doing the best he can for those he loves the way he knows how. It's screwed up, but his heart is in the right place! And the minute he gets told there is a better way to help, he does.

Remember that scene in ep2, the whole perspective switch we got about him being Thame's number 1 hater? He's that kinda guy and I love him!

[a-sip-of-sunshine]

Offerings

An important practice in hellenic Polytheism is the offerings. Many people already have an idea about what they are, so this post is more centered towards worshippers that stress around this concept since I'll be talking about how to handle it/how I handle it.

Offerings can range from a wide amount of things. A quick classification I can make up from the top of my head is: food offerings, other objects, and devotional acts.

When you first get introduced to hellenic Polytheism, food offerings appear as one of the main ways of building Kharis with the deities, since in general, that's what offerings do. The problem begins when we take libations and food as the better way to do offerings, putting them in some sort of subconscious pedestal over the other "methods".

Many followers can't afford to always do them to honor the gods, myself included. So, when all we see is an inability to offer things to our gods that way, it leads us to feel guilty and disappointed.

This is where I start to give tips from my own experience !

First, think of offerings as gifts. It is said to us that gifts don't always have to be something material to be significant. The same concept applies to offerings. I mentioned at the start that there were also other objects that could be given and devotional acts too. Intent is what matters. The gods don't care if you do offerings a certain way, but if the feelings are genuine from your part.

Other objects include jewelry/devotional jewelry, toys, books, etc. Basically, anything that isn't food. Devotional acts, as its name suggests, are activities that you can dedicate to your deities as long as it falls under their domain. Example: I have given Apollo a mouse fidget toy and also dedicate drawing, divination, dancing, etc.

It is as simple as that, trust me. It doesn't have to be elaborated. Now that gets me to the second point: check your resources.

You guys already know I struggled from following recon concepts and practices. You're totally free to follow them too if you can and want, but simply, some of us can't. Many sources for information about helpol come from a recon point of view, or simply others put things way more complicated/elaborated than they really are. Again, people are free to do them, but I'm focusing here on beginners/revivalists. Analyze your information and don't stay just with that. Search for easier ways to do things and overall avoid possible frustrations.

Getting back to my practice, I found out that libations didn't necessarily need to be poured out outside on the ground ! They could be poured down the sink or in a cup. Simple, right? This is mostly for those who still want to offer their gods food but in a more accessible manner. Another one is leaving the first or last bite of your food as an offering. (For Hestia, you leave both of those bites)

Note: Before applying these, know that rules still apply to Chthonic gods, not ingesting, eating, or drinking the offerings !

So now that you have both of those tips, I'll tell you one last thing: don't be afraid. It is also a shared sentiment that us helpols stress over our gods' images of us, our relationship with them, to treat them with respect and, overall, not fuck things up. Relax with your offerings, ease down. That constant worry also affects your feelings towards them, and we don't want that ! It is something that not only makes your deity happy, but you as well. The gods care about your happiness.

That's it for today ! If you want more of my rambles, feel free to interact with this post ♡ I wish you a good journey.

[andarans]

a love letter to dragon age.

i’ve been trying to cope with the news that all the dragon age devs have been laid off or reassigned these past two days, and i just…. it’s hard. it might sound silly to say but i’ve barely been able to do anything because i feel as if i’ve lost a family member. took today to have a good cry. dragon age was such a formative series for me. i joke all the time i got into it for the romances and stayed for the lore but really everything about it i love, dearly. i love that each companion and side character had stories that moved me and made me cry, stories i could relate to even in a world with magic and dragons. i love how the lore is presented, including the brilliance that is the codex—that you’re never quite sure who to believe, that discovering the truth requires you to be an archaeologist. i love how my choices always mattered, that decision i made in origins affected my playthrough in inquisition. i loved the message dragon age as a series sent, about corruption, about power, about propaganda. dragon age influenced so much of my fantasy tastes and own writing and art. it left such a huge mark on my artistic inspirations and work. hell, my first ever dnd character was a tiefling that pretty much looks like a qunari with having a backstory that affected the world she was in, reminiscent of the depiction of elves in dragon age (still one of my favorite and nuanced takes on elves in fantasy, btw). even with the dnd campaign and world i’m writing now, i see dragon age in nooks and crannies. i wrote so much fanfic and drew so much fanart and made so many theories and anxiously followed every bit of news for the development cycle of veilguard. i’d watch the game awards every year with my friend hoping for dragon age news. speaking of friends, god i made so many friends because of dragon age. that common interest sparked so many fun conversations and ideas. i even was a writer for an anders focused dragon age charity zine.

above all i loved the community around dragon age. sure, fandoms all have its moments and toxicity, but by and large my experience with the DA community was wonderful. i love getting to see people’s OCs and world states because i also obsess over my DA OCs and world states. i love getting to see people write theses about dragon age’s themes and masters worthy character studies. the communal love for this world and its characters is so, so profoundly inspiring.

i’ve spent so much time moping but i do want to highlight what i loved about each game and my favorite characters.

DAO: my first intro to the series. by god the gameplay was so slow but the story and characters and lore and writing made it SO worth it. made me appreciate CRPGs too. alistair ended up becoming my favorite character, i remember actually gasping and blushing at the rose moment in his romance. the landsmeet is still one of my favorite quests, i love fantasy political intrigue. morrigan also was my best friend, when she called my warden a sister i cried.

DA2: one of the most underrated games by far. i loved the smaller scale, i loved how personal hawke’s story felt, i loved every single companion and this found family. fenris was my first romance and one of my favorites, he is so complex and misunderstood and secretly has the best sense of humor. i think anders ended up becoming my favorite though—god, anders. i could speak about him for hours but i appreciate the DA devs for what they did for him and letting us romance him. anders made me appreciate his character archetype so much; he is such a tragic man transformed by bitterness and vengeance and rage. “ten years from now, a hundred years from now, someone like me will love someone like you, and there will be no templars to tear them apart.” i love you anders.

DAI: i love the inquisitor. i love how tragic of a character the inquisitor is, ripped from their life and forced to become an idol for a movement they might not even believe in. a lot of people criticize DAI for being “the chosen one” cliché, but it’s not. it’s a critique of that very trope and how it destroys a person. the inquisitor is forced to become an idea, and it does not matter who they actually are; they have all autonomy taken from them, and that is horrifying. cullen ended up ruining my life for a good amount of time, his romance is my favorite in all the series and god he got such a good redemption and ending. (i even bought cullen themed soap from a local convention, lol. i’m telling you i was obsessed). and in my replay solas’ romance absolutely destroyed me, turning him from my dearly detested to my dearly beloved. god trick weekes i will miss you so much, thank you for writing solas.

DAV: i know how contentious veilguard is. believe me i have many of my own criticisms. but i still love it anyway. i love the companions, all of them, i love how act 3 absolutely fucking gutted me and made me cry twice. i loved the amazing visuals and character creator and ost and environments. i love the QOL improvements. i loved seeing the cameos and my inquisitor again. there’s so much to love in veilguard and i’d rather talk about how much i love it than what i didn’t. lucanis was my first romance and while there wasn’t as much content as i was hoping for, i sincerely appreciate what we did get. i love how ride or die he is, how his love language is acts of service, how he’s afraid to hurt rook. i love his facial animations in his romance, i love zach mendez’s performance. i’m hoping to play emmrich and davrin’s next, and i’m sure i’ll love them too.

it’s hard to accept the fact that dragon age is probably over. it makes me sad knowing we’ll never find out about certain lore questions or know what DA5 could’ve looked like. and i’m still so angry for the developers and how they’re so callously treated and thrown away by EA/bioware. sometimes i wonder if the same thing would’ve happened if veilguard sold more. but it’s not helpful to dwell on these what-ifs, because we’ve seen how the industry treats both successful games and what they deem as failures: layoffs and no remorse. i hope the team finds work soon. i hope they realize how loved their work is. i hope someday the game industry is completely, wholly unionized. i’m glad at least we got veilguard to answer the biggest questions we’ve had.

thank you, DA devs, for everything. thank you for answering our silly questions about your characters favorite coffee flavors and perfect date nights. thank you for bringing them to life. i won’t stop playing the games or making art or fic. i won’t stop being inspired. dragon age lives on in my creations, in my dnd characters, in everything. i hope to be back in thedas soon, one day. dareth shiral.

[just-horrible-things]

1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it?

I feel like a lot of these questions reveal a very different approach to writing to mine. I don’t set out to impart lessons, I’m not interested in writing didactically. 

Unlikely Salvation has I guess some kind of lesson about change or forgiveness or that hurting people radicalises them and helping each other is the only way to mend rifts or something. But all of that grew organically, and there’s also a lot of fucked up stuff in there, a lot of “don’t try this at home”. Alex is way too forgiving early in the story, that’s not coming from a healthy place, that’s not a moral recommendation. It’s just an interesting thing for him as a character to do.

I think my other stories are further from having any “lessons” in them. Shit just happens, in some kind of sequence.

2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding?

Large parts of the Resistance ‘verse were made up by my co-author, so I can’t speak to that. The structure and behaviours of the feds are mostly based on reading about real-world fascist organisations.

My BBU works are obviously very heavily inspired by other BBU stories, especially the way @ashintheairlikesnow writes it.

Annihilation is purely vibes. I’m throwing in everything that feels cool to me at the time and I couldn’t name where those ideas are coming from. (I’m more likely to be able to put my finger on it in retrospect, once the shape of it comes clearer.)

3a. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them?

Ariadne, my prime blorbo, is primarily motivated by seeking atonement, and by seeking Victory for her Cause.

Smith and Spider are mostly just trying to survive. Spider later trying to carve out her own identity.

Nikef is trying to win a war, preferably without losing what’s left of her selfhood along the way. Ahden is trying to keep Nikef alive and sane and not deciding to murder everyone.

I, the writer, am trying to tell interesting stories with characters who feel three-dimensional and textured.

3b. Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person?

No.

4. How many chapters is your story going to have?

Don’t know, don’t care. I’m not trying to write complete, finished things at this time in my life. Honestly I find the notion a bit intimidating, and while I’m sure I could do it and probably will at some point in the future, at the moment writing is mostly an outlet for random creative energy. I write out of order and at a whim.

5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it?

Original content. Only putting it on tumblr at present. If tumblr went away or became intolerable, I’d probably move it somewhere else, since enough people seem to enjoy it.

6. When did you start writing?

I don’t remember a time when I didn’t, honestly. Probably around the time I learned to, physically, write. There have been years and patches of years where my output was very low, but I’ve always made up stories and scrawled at least some of them down.

7a. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr?

It’s been said before, but write whatever you feel like writing. If you enjoy your story, if it matters to you, if it has meaning to you, that stuff will come through in your writing.

Don’t worry too much about quality. You’re always learning, you can always go back and edit stuff if you want it to be better. Stressing too much about the quality of output just gets you stuck in a loop of infinite editing or worse feeling too bad to write at all.

7b. What other writers do you follow?

So many. I’ve recently listed a few favourite stories. I’m following *checks* 279 blogs write now and I’d estimate 90% of them are writers.

—

I’m terrible at coming up with people to tag but uhhhh @mottinthemainpot, @justplainwhump ? No pressure.

Tag Game: Author Ask Tag

thxxxxxxx @sacratos for the tag!

Question Template: 1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it? 2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding? 3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person? 4. How many chapters is your story going to have? 5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? 6. When did you start writing? 7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

1. What is the main lesson of your story? Why did you choose it? 

Don’t be an idiot and actually communicate with those you love, lol. In all seriousness, I don’t know if my story has a main theme, but there are several themes for sure. The importance of having family that loves and supports you (whether found or biological), taking back autonomy of oneself, and the importance of community.

2. What did you use as inspiration for your worldbuilding? 

Other BBU/pet whump authors! If you have written for the BBU, trust me, I have used some idea of yours as inspiration somewhere. I also use middle school me’s obsession with dystopian novels as inspiration as well.

3. What is your MC trying to achieve, and what are you, the writer, trying to achieve with them? Do you want to inspire others, teach forgiveness or help the reader grow as a person? 

All my MCs are trying to heal, in one way or another and I want my readers to connect with my characters in some way. Not really teaching a lesson or having some big, major theme, but I want my characters to feel real and connect with the readers (yes, even if you want to kill them you cannot touch Star, he is immune from death)

4. How many chapters is your story going to have? 

Hahahaha ha ha ha. . . yeah, no clue

5. Is it fan fiction or original content? Where do you plan to post it? 

Original content from my brain! I post it here, and only here

6. When did you start writing? 

The minute I learned what stories were. I think I wrote my first “story” (bible fanfiction. No I will not be taking questions about that) when I was about seven or so, then my first full fanfiction at nine and I have not stopped since. 

7. Do you have any words of encouragement for fellow writers of writeblr? What other writers do you follow?

Read! Seriously, I cannot stress this enough! Read! And not just to compare yourselves with other writers–please don’t do that at all–but read to see how others write emotion, descriptions, characters, plots! Take what you like and figure out why you don’t like other kinds of writing, then apply what you want to your own writing. Also, your writing voice will develop in time. Don’t worry about that.

A large chunk of people I follow are writers! Can’t list all of them here, but they know who they are and their writings have inspired and shaped both my style and my content. Ilyasm! 

Tagging (w/o any pressure!) @quietly-by-myself @whump-card @sparrowsage @whumble-beeee @whumpyourdamnpears and anyone else who wants to join in!

[vampmilf]

hold on im still too mad at this one fucking guest to take a nap i need to be a hater for a minute

[icefire149]

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[puzzlekinq]

cant sleep because im seething with anger

[chazz-is-a-zelda-fan]

can’t post this on insta considering a good chunk of my irls follow me there and they wouldn’t get this but i’ve been doing a lot better this week about keeping up with myself, i think

[stereax]

woohoo spiraling out of control right now (what else is new really I've been fucked up and spiraling for weeks now) and trying to figure out reasons not to delete my tumblr and discord and myself along the way

but you know. talking about myself on my blog automatically means I'm attention seeking and fishing for pity right? should just shut up and stick to the news eh, it's all I'm good for :D

anyway if you need me I'll be in the corner reliving the past, coming to terms with reality, and trying to convince myself I'm not the problem despite every indication to the contrary ✌︎︎