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currywaifu · 4 years ago

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𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐥𝐞: escape room 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩: minagi tsuzuru/reader 𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠: sfw 𝐰𝐜: 3.4k words, 3 images

𝐚𝐧: the combi of my love for this tsuzuru sr card + a certain enabler + my first time wearing handcuffs being in an escape room = the birth of this fic. it’s chaotic, but so is every escape room experience i’ve had. wtf is this fic.

One of the perks of having Tsuzuru as a boyfriend was that the two of you always found ways to have fun and go out on dates without spending a lot of money. Neither of you were big on splurging out a bunch of money anyway— not with you rather spending your allowance on necessities and Tsuzuru being the King of Part-timers™.

Watching community and college plays, having picnics, movie marathons, making dinner together, going grocery shopping, taking advantage of coupon sites, couples promos and happy hours to get great deals on things you wouldn’t normally be able to just for the ultimate discount...

It was domestic, it was homey, and it was Tsuzuru through and through; you loved every single second of it.

Which was why you were surprised when he suggested going to an escape room together.

“Those can be kind of pricey, right?” you replied, raising your voice slightly to make sure he could hear you despite the noise you were making in the kitchen. You turned the burner to high heat, scooching the veggies over to one side of the pan, melting the remaining butter in the other half.

“Oh, well, a friend gave me a 20% discount coupon. Apparently he didn’t need it anymore,” Tsuzuru’s voice was a little quiet coming from your phone’s speaker, and you quickly put down the soy sauce to adjust the volume before going back to the stove.

“I figured there was some kind of catch,” you replied with a soft chuckle as you continued stirring the veggies and sautéing the rice. “When do you wanna go? I know we’re both busy over the weekend, and that’s when we usually—“

Your hand halted its motions as soon as Tsuzuru uttered the word, “tomorrow.”

It wasn’t like you weren’t free, thankfully you only had one, albeit three hour, lecture during Tuesdays, but wasn’t he saying it a bit suddenly? It was a Monday evening, after all.

“Why tomorrow?”

Your boyfriend’s awkward laughter rang, but he remained undeterred as he explained to you his reasoning— going to an escape room would be a good way to get more writing experience, especially in terms of creating and feeling the ambience.

“Plus, not only is it cheaper if we go together, but the rates are also lower Monday to Thursday,” after a few seconds of silence on your part, he quickly added in, “and! And, we usually don’t have dates like this… so it’ll be fun, right?”

That thought process was so like Tsuzuru that you couldn’t help but smile.

Oh, the rice and veggies were already turning brown?

“You know what? I’m not even surprised,” you commented, adding and stirring in the rest of the ingredients. Ahhh, it was starting to smell heavenly, “by the way, have you had dinner yet?”

“About to. Excited to figure out what kind of curry we’re having,” a giggle escaped you upon hearing Tsuzuru’s deadpan voice, “are you almost done cooking?”

“Just about done!” after giving the rice a taste, you decided to season it with a pinch of salt and pepper, “thanks for giving me your fried rice recipe, by the way. Even though I’m the one cooking it, it feels like I’m about to eat something you made with love~”

As you were pretty much done with the kitchen, Tsuzuru’s exhale was a lot more audible to you. You could already envision the slight quiver in his tight-lipped grin and the way he would avert his eyes for a few seconds as he addressed you.

“Seriously, don’t be so cute,” he said, sounding a little exasperated, “sometimes I don’t know how to respond anymore.”

“A writer at a loss for words?” it was steadily getting difficult to keep the bubbling up amusement in check— you should probably be serving yourself dinner and accomplish your work for the night, but in the same manner it was always fun to flirt with the brunet. “When you put it that way, it makes me want to act even cuter for y—“

“Anyway!” you couldn’t hold back your laughter at his sudden interruption. Alright, that was enough for the both of you tonight.

“So are you free tomorrow?” he asked.

Well, who were you to be able to say no to that?

You completed signing the waiver the staff asked you to fill out, before turning to Tsuzuru.

“I forgot to ask, but which room are we playing? They have, like, 3 different ones here.”

Your eyes followed where Tsuzuru’s pointer finger landed— a simple but eerie poster in black and white, the three masks you could commonly see in craft stores plain and copies of one another, save for one thing. The first mask had gloved hands atop its eyeholes, the second had them covering where the ears would be, and the third had them placed over the lips.

Domain of Discernment.

“I don’t know much about it, but it’s one of the more popular ones. Apparently we’ll be held captive by some serial killer named Sire Maniac, and we’ll have one of our senses taken away,” he explained. Before he could potentially say anymore, one of the personnel went over to bring you right by the room entrance.

After giving a brief rundown of rules and some info about the room itself, she brought out an unused pair of foam earplugs and a blindfold. “Since there’s only two of you, we’ll be taking out the not being able to speak part. Both of you, choose who gets their sight or hearing removed for 50 minutes.”

You and Tsuzuru turned to look at each other, quietly discussing amongst yourselves which option would be more beneficial, coming to the conclusion that you would be the one to don the blindfold and he’d be the one with the earplugs.

“You might accidentally fall asleep if you had the blindfold,” you joked, “besides, I trust you to be able to guide me.”

Not one to be a killjoy or cheat, he plugged in the foam properly as you get your blindfold tied securely by the woman, making sure it definitely wouldn’t loosen up midway through the game.

When the both of you are within the room already, the both of you hear (well, Tsuzuru lip-reads) the woman say one more thing.

“After hand-cuffing you two and I leave the room, the timer will start. Good luck.”

… hand-cuffing?

With a sound of a click and seeing the door shutting from the distance, the both of you knew the timer would be counting down from 50 right about now.

You’re the first to speak up. You’re unsure where he’s facing right now, so you pulled your left hand knowing the pull of the metal chain would catch his attention, and you were right.

At the slight pressure on his right hand, he turned to face you with a hum leaving his mouth, and unexpectedly finding himself stupefied at the sight of you. You opened your mouth to say something, and he can excuse himself all he wanted that it was him not used to lip-reading yet, but he knew it wasn’t the truth.

He felt a little guilty, really. You both knew how flustered or embarrassed he could get around you, but how blissfully unaware you must be right now that his brain was literally mush because of your blindfolded self and how you were handcuffed to him. He, well, he never thought… no, he could never—

Time to kill that train of thought. Right now.

He should really be responding to you right now. What… what were you saying?

“You want me to describe our… surroundings?” he sighed in relief as you nodded. Okay, at least a part of him was still functioning properly. All he had to do was focus on that and not hyper focus on you.

The two of you were in a cell of sorts— barred, jail doors preventing your exit into a much larger room, which inevitably would lead to a door the both of you would escape to.

Though the jail room was significantly smaller, there were an assortment of items to sift and look through— boxes with and without locks, some papers scattered on a small desk, a lampshade that was left turned off, and a CD player were what stood out the most to him.

After relaying it to you, you pulled him again by your shared shackles as you asked him to read out what was in the papers—the first, a hint on how to figure out the number combination to unlock one of the boxes and a code decryption guide.

The second, a torn page from a “book” of either plants or poisons, based on the content and stylisation. Atropa belladonna, also known as deadly nightshade.

“Why are shade and floor highlighted though?”

Another pull on the cuffs. Another look at you— and trying not to be awkward about it as he combined his lip-reading with whatever the earplugs couldn’t block out of your voice.

“Shade? You said there was a lamp shade, right? Maybe a key or something is hidden under there?” you suggested, a pout set on your lips, “don’t know what the relevance of floor is, though.”

He didn’t have to look very far, the papers being situated on the desk beside the lampshade. It’s in his second time staring though that he realised something’s off with it. “You’re right, there’s something in the lampshade.”

When he lifted the bell-shaped cover, he’d come to find that there was no lightbulb in the first place, but a thin flashlight cleverly inserted within a vase. “If there’s a flashlight in the vase, then—“

“Shine a light on the floor!” you exclaimed, excited at the prospect of being able to move forward with the game, despite not being able to see.

Doing just that, he swished the flashlight left and right, verbally listing all the letters he could see.

“X, O, I, C, T…” you repeated, before trying to clap your hands (keyword: trying to, handcuffs say no), “the order is toxic! So the encrypt—“

“I’ll decode it ASAP,” Tsuzuru replied, immediately referring to the guide the “killer” oh so graciously left there.

“The passcode is… 420652,” he fumbled with the digits on the only 6 numbered padlocked box, before grinning, “alright, we got it!”

Another tug, and at this point he’s already aware that tug or pull on the cuff equals you having something to say.

“If they were gonna do a 420 joke, they should’ve inserted a 666 joke for the full eerie, creepy effect.”

Okay, just how was he able to lip read that perfectly? Was he just that used to the dumb jokes you made?

“I can just imagine your dream escape room— all the hints and puzzles are meme related,” the earplugs were unable to block your laugh, ringing through the room as he opened the box. A key, and a CD.

Knowing that between the two remaining boxes left, one of them needed a key so that was pretty much solved. The disc, on the other hand…

He called your name, you turning to face him based on the direction of his voice. “Since there’s a CD player and a CD, and unless I go really close I wouldn’t be able to hear anything—“

“I’ll listen carefully, no sweat!”

“I swear, if I hear the word wall another time, I will scream... and this isn’t even a horror room!”

The two of you came across your first real obstacle. Your audio just talked about poisonous vines growing on walls and other surfaces, while his box just contained another note that neither of you could decipher whatsoever. For five minutes, the two of you stood there, pondering.

Every once in a while, Tsuzuru would check the giant timer— currently displaying that 35 minutes were left.

“… honestly, just give it to me,” you suddenly spoke, Tsuzuru’s shoulders going up in shock.

“Give what?”

“The box! While we try to figure it out, I’ll use my nonexistent luck to just guess the passcode somehow,” you explained, feeling up the type of padlock it was “it’s just rolling everything around anyway until it magically opens.”

Within less than a minute, you had figured out the passcode.

“I’m—“ Tsuzuru trailed off, clearly just as shocked as you were. Your eyes probably would’ve been wide open right now.

“Eye… so this is where all my luck went,” you said, before shaking your head to refocus yourself, “okay! So inside the box is a… another key? It has buttons… car key?”

You hand the object to the brunet, who, upon taking it from you spared no second in his next actions.

“Wall,” he said out loud, pointing the car keys at the wall. With one press of a button, the wall, slowly but surely, opened to reveal another room. Though you couldn’t see it, the sound was loud enough to amaze you as well.

“Worm,” you breathed out, “pretty lit, not gonna lie.”

You wouldn’t know but the room was actually extremely dark, so not lit at all. Thank god he had a flashlight or else the handcuff + your blindfold + him not being able to lip read combo would be… particularly deadly.

The misunderstandings, he could already imagine it. Ah, well, for the writing experience.

“I don’t know what worm means, but yeah, lit.”

“Sorry,” Tsuzuru apologised as he bumped into you for the nth time.

Obstacle number two was unlike any other. It wasn’t another audio recording, neither a puzzle nor riddle.

“Ah, shit, sorry!” you shouted for the nth time, raising your voice as much as you could so Tsuzuru would be able to hear you properly.

This was getting ridiculous. You were able to figure out the meaning of an audio file after a few loops, while Tsuzuru got to work reading more clues and unlocking locks. The real problem, however, was since the room was dark and had limited space, the two of you tended to crash against one another even with what limited movement you could make.

You had to wonder— did the staff get some sort of amusement or feel any pity watching people stumble around in this room through the CCTV? It wasn’t so bad in the jail room, but this closet? storage? room gave you two a run for your money. How did other people get through this room, genuinely? Especially the bigger parties?

“… I have an idea,” Tsuzuru mentioned. You wait for him to tell you what it is, his hesitance confusing you. However, before you could have said anything, you felt his strong arms wrapped around you.

Was… was there an equivalent to a verbal keyboard smash? Even if you weren’t saying it out loud to save you the embarrassment, the fact still stood that your brain was legit going ztesxrdctijmoljhnge right now. Help—

“How does this… help?” you asked, still a little confused by his motive. He wasn’t really one for PDA, and despite the two of you being the only ones in the room the fact still stood that the escape room staff are probably required to glance at the CCTV monitors every once in a while to check up on you two.

“Since we’re… handcuffed, and there’s barely any space it’d be better to just stay together,” he explained as nonchalantly as possible, “sorry, it’s just for this room. We’ll go back to normal when we get to the last room.”

See, if your brain was working right now, you’d be able to think of a counter or a better solution— actually, if you could see right now maybe you could point out something about Tsuzuru’s face that screamed he was lying, but something about escape rooms just made your logic go brrr.

That, or you were just a simp for your own boyfriend.

… not gonna lie, the chances of it being both were pretty high.

“Makes sense. Can’t bump into each other when you’re already stuck together,” you said, already convincing yourself.

Sorry to whoever’s manning the CCTV monitor, it was their fault for handcuffing the two of you anyway.

Well, this set up wasn’t that bad. Other than, you know, getting to hug Tsuzuru, you were able to still keep doing your task while he did—

You heard the padlock unlock after your fingers pressed a certain combination of numbers. Pushing the device upwards, the cabinet doors opened as you removed the lock.

“It’s a digit push combination padlock! How are you doing this? Blindfolded?”

“I… I have guessing powers. For locks.”

“I’m considering robbing a bank or business with you now.”

“Awww, cute couple’s date idea!”

After two or three minutes of Tsuzuru doing some last minute riddle solving, the sound of jingling keys and him letting go of you let you know of one thing— you two were almost out.

With a writer compromising one half of the team, and an exceptional guesser and context clue figure-outer as the other half, you weren’t gonna lie— the last room was kind of anti-climatic to go through.

…

SIKE!

Every time the two of you ever accomplished anything, be it decrypting a message, unlocking something, or finding a hidden item the two of you still reacted to it— Tsuzuru being more on the shookt side and you being on the hype side.

With fifteen minutes to spare, only one thing was left to do— finding who Sire Maniac’s real name, and then decoding that name into number form so you could use it on the exit’s number pad lock. It was pretty obvious to you that you had to use the number equivalents of the name, but first… you needed to know the name.

“You sure you don’t want to try your luck?” Tsuzuru teased, procuring a huff out of you.

There were only two clues. The first was a letter to an A. R. Nicolas, detailing something about being thankful for a book.

Initially, the two of you thought that that A. R. Nicolas would be his real name, but clearly it was some sort of pen name based on the second clue— several torn pages from a book penned by the very same A. R. Nicolas the letter was addressed to.

It was clear— Sire Maniac and A. R. Nicolas were the same person, but what was his third identity? His real identity?

“What are the poisons on the torn pages again? Those usually have something to do with the answer,” you asked Tsuzuru. The sound of shuffling of paper entered your ears as he began listing them off.

“Ricin, amatoxin, tetradotoxin, chloropicrin, batrachotoxin… and arsenic.”

“Huh… arsenic is the only one that ends differently, lol,” you pointed out with a laugh, before it quickly died as the realisation dawned on you, “no fucking way.”

“Okay what the hell, I think you’re on to something,” Tsuzuru replied hastily, “because A. R. Nicolas, as in A. R. Nic. Arsenic.”

“Tsuzuru. Tsuzuru. Tsuzuru—“ you chanted, before laying out one last game-changer, “Sire Maniac. Is a fucking anagram. For I am Arsenic.”

With a speedy enter of the number 2773642, the two of you had achieved freedom.

“Not gonna lie, some parts of it were a little cliche, but… I had fun,” you told him, the two of you walking home together, “I felt simultaneously dumb and a genius at the same time.”

“Same to both, honestly,” Tsuzuru replied, before looking down at your hand linked with his. “Huh, haven’t you had enough of being stuck with me?”

You rolled your eyes. “I could say the same to you— didn’t you totally take advantage of us being handcuffed together? Or me being blindfolded?”

It was just a joke, but Tsuzuru’s sudden sputtering caught you off guard. Did… aha, no way, did he actually enjoy that gimmick?

“Tsu~ zu~ ru~”

“Whatever you’re thinking, that’s not it—“

“Are you sure? Because—“

“You’re misunderstanding something.”

“I’m just saying, it’s better to be honest~”

As the stoplight turned red, the two of you finally found the time to take a good look at each other. The laughter that erupted was instantaneous.

“Thanks for going out with me today,” Tsuzuru said softly, the blooming smile on his face impossible for you to not mirror.

“Thank you for inviting me,” you replied, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

After a few seconds, the stoplight turned green, and the two of you continue making your way back home.

want to order again?

𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐦 𝐢𝐧𝐟𝐨 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐞𝐬: ⤷ curium fairway (the person who sent arsenic the letter) is an anagram for “i am currywaifu”.

⤷ the “reader is good at guessing part” is just based off of me. being really good at guessing padlock combinations. ⤷ the hugging part was based on my two irl friends (who are dating) hugging in front of the cctv

⤷ the “one sense gets removed” and “being handcuffed to someone” part is based on two different escape rooms i played

⤷ i wasn’t supposed to make a whole concept for the escape room with media and riddles... but i decided to finally make use of all the research i did before on poison. am i on a watchlist?

#a3!#a3! act! addict! actors!#tsuzuru minagi #tsuzuru minagi x reader #minagi tsuzuru #cafe: dessert menu #a3! tsuzuru #a3! imagines #a3! x reader

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vesperlionheart · 5 years ago

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Vesper’s Quarantine ‘Finished’ Reading List

If you’re stuck indoors and feeling anxious sometimes the best thing is to drown your brain in distractions until you’re able to function again. Thus, I’ve put together a list of Sakura centric stories to entertain you. There’s a lot of shameless self promo here, fair warning, but it’s my blog and my blogpost so that’s where we’re gonna start. Some of my favorite fic are ones still being updated but this list includes only stories marked as [complete].

[Finished personal fic]

Obelisk: Kingdom of Man By: VesperChan 'She could swear she smelt sulfur when she exhaled. Nothing good ever came from boys who smelled like sulfur.' An ancient Egyptian curse and a world of dreams opens Sakura up to a life devoid of safety. In the darkness her nightmares bow themselves to her. In the morning they feast on her heart. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Beasts By: VesperChan One Kingdom down, three to go. Carrying the scars on her heart, Sakura must brave the dreams again as this time, there are more sinister things then men waiting for her when she goes to sleep. The wolves have come to feast and her body will know their teeth. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Monsters By: VesperChan More than halfway through the curse, Sakura's nightmares hold nothing back as fangs and spells seek to drag her down and bury her with the dead. Monsters have come at least to feast on what is left of her bones and devour her wounded heart. Beyond the scars and bloodshed, her soul is beginning to fade under the dim lights of another enchanted speakeasy and ruby eyes. AU SakuraMany Obelisk: Kingdom of Gods By: VesperChan Entering the final kingdom, Sakura stands atop a castle of sand to face down the gods who first orchestrated the curse and began the bloody tradition of collecting human souls in a little black obelisk. Gladiators, Egyptian gods, and blood thirsty pharaohs paint a vivid picture on the inside of her mind as she sleeps, dreams, and struggles once again. AU SakuraMany Total word count for Obelisk series: 565,292 (just over half a million words)

RED KING By: VesperChan In the wild country where it never snows but always freezes, the Red King marches his armies against the White Tsar. That is why Sakura is swept away from the lonely streets and the empty barracks into a car with a bastard prince and a promise of redemption, but if only she can face the demons that chased her in the first place and be what the king needs in his war. SakuraCentric

Touken Revolution by Vesperchan (rated E) Sakura, a sword smith, is nearly killed for what she really is: a sage, one who can animate weapons into warriors and give bodies to the souls she hears inside swords. Now a refugee in the land of Kiri she's building an army because it's her only hope for survival and maybe even happiness. SakuraKiri Sakura centric

Things We Lost in the Fire By: VesperChan Years later, living alone in the woods with half a dozen dogs, questionable reading material, and crippling non-attachment issues, Sakura realizes she has turned into her teacher. Agebent Sakura Sensei ShiSaku

Jealous gods by Vesperchan When a coup takes the lives of the king and the rest of the royal family, Sakura, the sole surviver, escapes to the edge of the world with Kakashi to strike a bargain with an old god. Her worship in exchange for his power. She's warned he's a dark and jealous god, but that's not enough to sway her. ItaSaku Kakasaku darkItachi AU

Lindworm & the Tam Lin Love a Changling by Vesperchan Sakura travels as a curse breaker across the land, doing what she can to put some peace back into the world. She doesn't think much of it when she breaks the curse on a lesser dragon or a fae knight, but maybe she should have. MadaSaku, HashiSaku Poly

A Confluence of Stars by Vesperchan (my WitcherAU) With the war over between two princedoms, Sakura, a sniper, returns home to celebrate Confluence with her grandmother, the local Story Keeper. She had expected it to be nothing more than just another celebration when the star rivers overlapped and the poor people partied. But, along with the rest of the world, Sakura soon realizes that Confluence did more than just give people a reason to celebrate. A wicked new world filled with monsters and magic straight from Baba's tales spills into theirs, and Sakura is forced to turn to her rifle and her stories to make sense of it. Sakuracentric

Sugarplum by Vesperchan "They will use you up, and love you all the while, until there is nothing left of the girl you used to be." Sakura had been a chosen one, once upon a time, but that was years ago, and all the magic has left her. Still, the world calls her back and she has a new role in supporting the next girl savior many years her junior. ItaSakuSaso

Stag by Vesperchan He was a wizard with a tower and a set of rules he should never break. Sakura was a girl with just a bit of budding magic he decides he can't ignore. Some things were made to be broken. TobiSaku

[Finished general fic list]

Hollow Point by Sariasprincy @sariasprincy Arms dealing is her trade, but young and in a man's world, it takes a criminal mastermind to play with the big dogs without getting bit. TobiSaku/ItaSaku. Crime!AU. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.

Where it Happened also by @sariasprincye He was the new head of Cardio and her new boss, and though she thought him a little full of himself, it seemed there was more to the famed Uchiha Itachi than he led on. Not that she could claim her life was that uncomplicated as well. ItaSaku. Modern AU. Grey's Anatomy AU. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.

Nightmare in Red by @sariasprincy Haruno Sakura used to think the eyes were the windows to the soul, but after witnessing the horrors of the Sharingan firsthand, she's convinced they are the doors. ItaSaku. Nonmass. Rated T

Blurred Lines by @sariasprincyHe was an international criminal. She was a federal agent. And she wanted nothing more than to arrest him - or shoot him - if only he would stop providing her leads to more desirable criminals first. MadaSaku. Rated T.

The Man in Black A man in black haunts her hospital. But what does he want and why is it that Sakura is the only one that can see him? ItaSaku. Modern Myth AU. Death AU

The Choices We Make by @sariasprincyHe was the Head of the Uchiha Clan and she the fearless discipline of the Hokage, but how the hell was she supposed to find the strength to tell him she was pregnant? MadaSaku. Rated M for mentions of adult themes.

halcyon days by jaylene @thefreckledone Sakura sees dead people. Well, two dead people to be exact. Everything changes. Sakura-centric. Indra/Sakura/Ashura.

hands like houses by @thefreckledone Sakura finds herself trapped in the past and discovers a new family along the way, however unwilling she may be. Time travel. Fix-it fic. Sakura-centric.

Borage by @thefreckledone Sakura is in search for answers. What she finds doesn't please her.

Forest Fire by Moor @kendochick-moor Mod AU. Sasu x Saku x Ita. A small spark can launch a forest fire.

Forest Fire II by Moor @kendochick-moor Sequel to "Forest Fire". University AU. Sasu X Saku X Ita. After Sasuke inexplicably broke up with her when he leaves for Oto, Sakura throws herself into her school and social life. Friends like Ino, and surprisingly Itachi, are there to help her along the way. Meanwhile another threat, in the form of unbalanced Uchiha Madara, stalks her, ever nearer.

Tipsy series by Moor @kendochick-moor Mod AU. MadaSaku. The 1-5 part of the "5 Drunkfics" prompts. (Rated 'M' for language & themes)

Akatsuki Sakura AU by moor DeiSaku, ItaSaku. Konoha-verse AU. Akatsuki Sakura AU. Raised by Uchiha Madara as part of the Akatsuki, Sakura is sent to infiltrate Konoha's ranks. Things become complicated when she is promoted to a team with one of Konoha's most well-respected ANBU captains, Uchiha Itachi.

Soulmates by Moor - KakaSaku. Age-swap AU. Based on the "Soulmates" prompt from the October 2015 tumblr KakaSaku fest. Kakashi has a reputation as an enfant terrible; at least, until Sakura sensei takes him under her wing. Rated M for later chapters.

Fancy Footwork by silverfootsteps @silverfootstepswrites For Sakura, there's always been dreary days of schoolwork and unreliable people. Who knew a clumsy womanizer, an accidental pervert, a soft-hearted glutton, and an incredibly sexy virgin would light her life up like this? A friendship founded on dancing and the strange threat that tied them all together: "Fiji". AU

Equinox by silverfootsteps Sakura is half-siren, half-human, and 100% unprepared for what waits for her when she moves to a little seaside town. A place where calling someone a monster always receives the answer: "….well, duh". Monster AU. Multisaku.

Lullaby by Silverfootsteps Sakura is part-siren, part-human, and learning how to deal with a nest of lovable dorks. But nothing seems impossible in the sleepy little town of Old Pines, where magic hangs heavy in the air and a certain werewolf has learned to stop pissing everywhere. Sort of. Sequel to Equinox. Monster AU. Polysaku af.

Butterfly by silverfootsteps After winning her first and only Olympic gold, Haruno Sakura shocks the world by announcing her retirement from skating. When she returns to her little hometown of Konoha, she finds that not much has changed. The same old temples, the same old persimmon trees. Resigned to a quiet life, she settles in for what she hopes will be an uneventful retirement. Skating AU. Itasaku.

Five Kingdoms for the Dead by Evil Is A Relative Term After the Forest of Death, Sakura comes to realize that being weak is no longer an option. However, she finds that change is sometimes painful and that truth doesn't always come easy. Luckily, she'll have some help along the way.

Vertigo by Cynchick Sakura accepts the most critical and dangerous mission of her life, but the price of success may very well be her soul. When your entire world turns upside down, how do you keep from going under? DeiSaku.

An Indispensable Assistant by TayMor Professional. Intelligent. Intuitive. Haruno Sakura is the assistant every boss wants. She is smart, she is capable, and she is experienced. Operating with her own hard and fast rules, Sakura has one, very important personal rule. Never fall in love with your boss. However, being indispensable to Uchiha Itachi will put that rule under heavy duress. AU.

The Third Chance by TayMor reviewsJust because he died didn't mean he got to stay dead. The Rikudo Sennin reincarnates Uchiha Madara as his 26 year old self and he begins his third life broken, humiliated and full of despair. But things change as Madara finds himself competing against Sasuke for the attention of Konoha's favorite medic... MadaSakuSasu Set after the final battle and during the blank period.

Rainy Days by Wynth It took her a while before Sakura was convinced that she was once again in her twelve year old body, but by that time it was too late. •Time-Travel / AU•

Consequences of Saving a Life by BelleDayNight reviewsAt the end of the war, Neji is revived by Sakura. She has saved his life, now she is responsible for it. The Hyuga clan leader covets the power that Naruto and Sakura could bring the clan with unions with Hinata and Neji. Can they survive the politics of the noble clan? Naruto trains with Sasuke and Hanabi for CPE while Sakura and Neji embark on a mission together for the Daimyo.

Take It or Leave It by kc-archive Akatsuki & Sakura. After a moment of shock, Sakura realized that two fully grown, fully naked men were sitting squished uncomfortably together in her bathtub. (dubcon warning)

Till Death Due Us Apart by SpeedDemon315 Ever since he was gone, she never was the same. The world was warm and cheery while she was cold and dreary. She thought there was no hope left for her…or was there? Oneshot, character death [SasorixSakura]

Bringing Back What's Dead by SpeedDemon315 Sequel to Till Death Due Us Apart. She made a promise to herself to discover a way to revive him and have him finally see his son. What happens when your greatest enemy from the past is the only one who can grant your fondest wish? SakuraxSasori

Time Flies Like An Arrow by katlou303 Sakura traveled back in time with the intent of changing everything, but something went wrong, and now she's a four-year-old civilian having nightmares about impossible monsters and losing friends she has yet to meet.

Uneasy coexistence by DeGlace One grinning shark–man. One pink–haired medic. Ankles. Teeth. Kisame x Sakura. Yes, you read that right.

The Art of War by leafygirl Entry for the LJ Kakasaku AU contest. Sakura gets stuck following her teacher after a bet with her friends. But his mysterious life is nothing she ever expected.

Vespertine by Cynchick Two enemies strike a bargain to save what they both hold dear. He will reveal a truth that shakes her beliefs, drawing her into a web of lies and betrayal. She will offer the redemption for which he never hoped and show him how to be human again. ItaSaku.

Caught and Set Loose by Celtic Oak AU. On a mission, Sakura and her companions find themselves in the custody of the wildest clan of the East Province. Forced to accept their hospitality and a redheaded escort, the medic must make the best of her situation, wherever it leads her. GaaSaku.

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punchdrunkdoc · 4 years ago

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IOTNBO/PBIO episode 9 (spoilers)

Welp, I knew we couldn’t stay in the happy bubble of the past few episodes - we’re only halfway through the show after all. Too early for a happy ending.

But man, I didn’t think this was where the angst would come from. ST just ripped open KT’s biggest wound in front of everyone, blaming a little boy for his actions from 20 years ago, at a time when he was feeling used and neglected. (Edited to add: and he misremembered the incident and made it all sound 100x worse).

Ugh, my heart broke. And, as usual, I was yelling at the TV for someone to give that man a bloody hug! I thought it was nice that we saw how affected MY was by their fight (she was in tears) because it showed how far she’s come in developing empathy for others. But I can’t help but wish she had marched up the stairs to comfort KT - like he always does for others.

Regardless, this is probably something the brothers needed to get out into the open. As the Director said, a fart held in too long is deadly (😂 I love that kooky old doctor!). Their relationship and co-dependence doesn’t feel healthy, and they need to work on airing their grievances and learning how to be more functional as separate people (something ST obviously wants, and KT desperately needs).

Based on the promo, it looks like KT will break things off with MY - foreshadowed in this episode by their conversation in the car after the parting of A-reum and her beau. I understand, show writers, I do. This is consistent with KT’s character. But, please don’t keep them apart too long! I much prefer their smiles to all the tears

#psycho but it's okay #it's okay to not be okay #kdrama #spoilers

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clickforspoilers · 4 years ago

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bullseye.

WHO: Tim Drake @redrobin-timdrake & Stephanie Brown @clickforspoilers WHERE: The Manor & IHOP WHEN: Backdated to September 10th, 2020 WHAT: Tim finally leaves the house to get food with Stephanie and they talk about lots of things.

TIM: With so much bullshit going on, Tim had thrown himself wholeheartedly into figuring out what happened to Dick, compiling files, and dealing with the League's upcoming mission. It was finally taking its toll. He missed just… any levity at all and sometimes felt completely dead on his feet. He was used to going without sleep or any kind of functioning schedule. But this… was so much. And he just… finally Tim Wayne needed a break.

It was with that realization that he pushed himself away from his computer and stepped out of the Batcave. Even the dim light of the Manor had his eyes squinting as he dragged himself, much like a dead man walking, to where Steph was. “Hey, Batgirl,” he said with a tired levity as he dropped down next to her. “You want to go get IHOP?” What time was it even? Was it night? Was it day? He had buried sleep with caffeine and twenty minute naps in his desk chair. “I just… need a break.” And IHOP was 24 hour. A true gift from God.

STEPH: Steph was worried about Tim. She'd been worried about him ever since Dick got shot. It wasn't uncommon for him to spend so much time in the Batcave, she was actually used to it, but he never left. There were plenty of nights she ended up falling asleep in a nearby chair, slumped over the desk. Hours later, she'd wake up and he'd still be working. Not even Alfred had been successful at getting through to him.

Patrol was dull and uneventful, which meant she got to end her night early. She was sprawled on one of the couches in the living room and editing a video when Tim walked in. Shocked, she instantly sat up with a grin. "Really?? You're finally accepting that you're a human who needs to eat? Yeah, let's go!" If she waited too long then he might change his mind. Maybe once he'd gotten a good meal, he would actually be able to sleep for longer than fifteen minutes.

TIM: Tim rolled his eyes before shaking his head. "Don't be a butt about it," he told her playfully before holding up the keys to the Red Bird. "I'll drive?" He offered. If she wanted to, he would surrender them, but he hadn't driven anywhere in a few days. Though... maybe he shouldn't? Tim didn't know.

Steph never really gave Tim a hard time unless it was really important or she was really worried. It worked well that way. Alfred and Dick could both mother hen, but not Steph. She would often just sit by him--or, in some instances, on him--while he worked, chatter or not chatter, just to keep him company. It mattered. It was meaningful. He appreciated her. And he appreciated that she was almost always there when he finally did resurface.

STEPH: "Hmm, don't think so, Boy Wonder." Steph snatched the keys from Tim's hand. She would take any excuse she could to drive, but she didn't really need one this time. Who knows how much sleep he'd gotten in the past... what, week? "Sleep-driving is a thing."

Unlike Alfred and Dick, she did her best not to fuss over Tim. She learned early on that he reacted better when she respected his boundaries and showed faith that he knew his own limitations. Sometimes she doubted if he actually did, but she was there when he skirted too close to the line. That was the only time she'd ever outright yell at him.

TIM: "Maybe i'm a better driver in my sleep," he argued playfully as he let her take the keys. He didn't actually care if she drove. He just wanted to spend time with her. He knew he had been scarce, and while she would understand as she always did, he wanted to make time for them. After all, aside from the making out and things like that, they hadn't really decided anything concrete about what they were again. He wanted to. Because Tim realized that somewhere between the moments of her bringing him coffee, falling asleep on his shoulder, or resting her hand over his while he used his mouse simply to touch him and remind him he was alive before letting him get back to what he was doing, he had begun to think of her like his girlfriend again. Honestly, he didn't know if there was ever really a way Tim wouldn't think of her at least partially like that.

He followed her bouncing blonde ponytail out to the garage where his little red car waited for them. "I could go for bottomless waffles. And, of course, the endless coffee."

STEPH: "Is that even possible?" Tim was a good driver, at least compared to her. Steph was a lot less meticulous about precision at least, but she also didn't have the tendency to get lost in her head. That combined with the years she spent as Batgirl made her insecurity less palpable. It was still there, but she didn't feel question every little thing or obsess over their status. She actually liked where they were. What if she ruined it by making it something concrete? It didn't mean she was single, though. That was something she took off her Facebook a while back. Now it was just blank. It wasn't anyone's business anyway.

Unlocking the car, she slid in the driver's seat. "Bottomless waffles are a given. Do you think they'll have the seasonal flavors out yet? Kind of in a pumpkin mood." Maybe it was still too early. "Ever think about going in costume? Everyone knows who we are anyway. Might be a good PR move, right? Vigilantes are people too."

TIM: "Never know unless we do it," he reasoned, though he was teasing. Steph did that. She brought out his playful side much more. It was always refreshing. Tim snorted. "We should do a promo for IHOP as Red Robin and Batgirl. We go there enough. In Gotham they had our names memorized, remember?" He shook his head before raising a brow. "But if you want to change, now's the chance. Not like i'm gonna complain about looking at you in your Batgirl suit." Or looking at her in general.

"I know they do pumpkin pancakes," he said, moving to get into the passenger seat and tugging on his seatbelt before watching to make sure Steph did up hers. "Not sure about Waffles."

STEPH: Steph considered it. "Maybe that kinda thing is better off planned." Tim looked half dead on his feet. Besides, it wasn't as if people wouldn't know who they were out of costume. She was less recognizable, but Tim was one of Bruce Wayne's kids. He got a lot of press even before people knew he was a costumed hero. The media never had any reason to look at Stephanie Brown, even after her father got caught. "You should take a break from being trapped behind a screen and go on patrol with me one night. We could do it then."

The IHOP wasn't that far, but she caught Tim's look. Wrinkling her nose at him, she fastened the seatbelt over her chest and untucked her hair from where it got trapped. "The waffles are better." She waited for the garage to open before pulling out and hitting another button to open the large gates. Once they were clear of the mansion and on the main road, she finally cleared her throat and reached over to take his hand. "You ready to talk about it?" She knew he wasn't doing okay, so she wasn't even going to ask.

TIM: "I will when I have it solved. I just can't get a match on the footage I picked up. The trajectory doesn't make sense for the shot. I think I have to take my camera angles a few clicks out." He was going to start rambling, but he pushed it down. He blew out a breath. Tim had to get this. He wanted to do it for Dick, to prove he could be there for him to and to make sure Dick knew that they were looking out for him. He had looked out for all of them for so long. He would return the favor. He wouldn't see his big brother in a hospital bed like that again if he could help it.

He relaxed as she clicked the belt, shrugging. "If we throw enough money at them, I bet I can get them to make you pumpkin waffles." It wasn't a question for Tim if he could get her something that made her happy.

As she caught his hand, he looked over at her from where he had been staring out into the black of the night while the trees blurred by, his exhaustion leading him to zone out a little. The question had him blinking. "Talk about what?" He asked dumbly, a little slower on the uptake after using almost all of his brainpower on the case.

STEPH: "What do you mean, it doesn't make sense?" Steph wasn't terrible, but the detective part of her training wasn't something she was best at. That was one of the reasons why Bruce had ended up not trusting her in the field. She jumped in, went with her gut, and even if she was right, it landed her in hot water.

That made her smirk. "I think you underestimate just how much I'm willing to pay for these pumpkin waffles, Timbers." Not that she had a lot of money. There was a settlement she got when her father passed away, but that was barely enough to get by. Bruce had an account opened for her, years ago, but it was rare that she used it. It never felt right.

She sighed, perfectly comfortable steering the car with one hand. "Everything." It wasn't just Dick, but everything that led up to it, including the whole Slade thing and Jason being arrested. It was a lot. Tim seemed to be retreating and handling the majority of it internally, which was... unsurprising, but it made her worry.

TIM: "There were two men across the street and partially obscured, but the shot Dick took came from above. So I went up and out two and a half clicks--standard sniper shot--and I didn't see anyone on any of the vantage points I searched. So it just... is no one. A shot further out than that would have to be a ludicrously good shot." He sighed. "I checked out the two men in the video, then I combed the personnel at NOVA, but that's taking a while."

"You? Nothing is surprising come from you and related to waffles." He shook his head fondly. He'd drop money without a thought for it. It wasn't like he used it all that much anyway.

Tim swallowed, looking out the front window at the road. There was... a lot. "Like... everything everything?"

STEPH: That made Steph frown. It didn't take a genius to know what Tim might be insinuating. There were only a few people who would be able to make a ludicrously good shot. When it came down to who was in the city and capable of it, the list was a lot shorter. Swallowing a lump in her throat, she glanced at Tim briefly. "You don't mean like... so good that only someone like Deathstroke could do it, do you? You're not saying that... right?" Just the idea freaked her out.

Amused, she squeezed his hand and let her fingers lace through his. "Don't worry, I love you more. Just a tiny bit."

She looked over at him again, her brow furrowing, but she couldn't take her gaze off the road for long. "Well yeah, that was the idea," she coaxed. "It might help if you talk about it. Pretty sure it would help. At least everything won't be stuck up in your head."

TIM: Tim pursed his lips as she pieced it together. Steph was smart enough to keep up, even if she was constantly looking down on herself. Maybe she thought he didn't realize. He did. He knew she wasn't unshakable. To him, she had no reason to be insecure. But he could understand where it came from.

"More than waffles. That's an achievement." He shook his head with a laugh, thumb moving over the top of her hand as she tightened the hold. "I... love you more thaaaaan--" He made a small show of thinking before deciding on: "Coffee. But, like you said, just a tiny bit."

The levity fell away as he let out a breath. He felt tired. He didn't know that he wanted to talk about it, but Steph wasn't just asking to talk. She had to be asking for connection, too. He was much more in his head than her, he thought. And he knew that could be off-putting. And maybe it would help if he let it. "I wouldn't even know where to start, babe."

STEPH: "Tim." Steph didn't really need him to confirm it. She could tell by his silence that he was thinking the same thing that she was. That made her even more freaked out. Pressing her lips together, she blinked as she focused intently on the road.

Laughing, she pulled her hand away long enough to smack his shoulder, then gave a heavy sigh and took his hand back. "I guess I asked for that. I'm actually a little shocked that I came out on top of coffee. Pretty sure you started drinking that stuff when you were, like, nine."

Her own smile faded when she heard him sigh. "Just start at the beginning. Or tell me what you're thinking right now." Steph had a hard time speculating about what was on Tim's mind. She'd tried before and she was almost always wrong.

TIM: “It makes sense,” he said flatly. “He came to Star City out of nowhere on some contract we didn’t know about. And I haven’t heard anything about it since then. Nothing on the Dark Web about jobs in Star City. Wouldn’t the employer still need it done if Slade didn’t do it?” He shook his head, mind going a thousand miles an hour as he plucked at strings to get it right. “And he started getting close to Dick immediately. He knew he had leverage on him. He could be playing some sick game where he had to get close to Dick for some reason so he could figure out how to do it without having all of us on him, right? We would never suspect if he made it look like NOVA. Meanwhile, while we were distracted he could keep working here in Star City.” It all made sense. It couldn’t be that Slade just changed because Dick cared about him. Not after two decades of what he did. Dick had always tried to pass on his optimism, but Tim was a realist and statistically, Slade was more likely to be running a con than actually doing something noble. He had had blips in the past, but nothing this long. The drawn out complexities were always a game. The games Deathstroke plays... His blue eyes darted to Steph’s. It made sense to him. Was he insane?

“I think I was eleven, but don’t quote me. It has been a long saga of coffee in a relatively short life.” He shook his head. “But coffee doesn’t cuddle as well as you do.”

“Right now? I’m scared shitless for Dick.” He didn’t swear often, but he was a little tense. “And everything’s weird and just... everything, Steph. Slade Wilson? Things have been messed up ever since then.” That had been when he and Jason had started fighting, too. When things had gotten so tense.

STEPH: Steph hesitated, a bit overwhelmed at the thought of something so convoluted and, frankly, fucked up. She didn't know Slade as well as everyone else did, or really have any kind of past with him, and she didn't fully know what he was capable of. But she took Tim at his word. She knew how Dick could be. It seemed insane that he would believe it to the point of getting killed, but it wasn't outside the realm of possibility. "I mean, that's true... but that's so..." Trailing, she shook her head slowly. "That's a really twisted way to kill someone, Tim. Is that something you think he'd do? Isn't he just in it for the money? And who would put a contract out on Dick anyway? Unless NOVA could have hired Deathstroke, and that's why it's not on the dark web or any of the usual places where you'd look." Would that make sense? She wasn't sure. "Dick's with him right now, Tim. What's stopping him from just making it look like an accident and cashing in?" It's not like Dick was on guard or expecting any of that.

That made her laugh. "I can think of a couple things I do a little better than coffee."

Shaking her head, she slowed down for a yellow light that she normally might have sped up for. She was too distracted to be impatient. "So am I. And yeah, it's weird. It doesn't make any sense, not from what I've heard about Deathstroke, but..." Dick was someone she knew a little better, but still not as well as Tim or Bruce. "There hasn't really been a chance for anyone to talk to Dick about this. He has to have reasons. And Bruce... does he seem worried about it? Has he even said anything? If he were suspicious, he would have intervened, right? Or..."

TIM: “I mean that would make sense. But like... he also made Dick love him ten years ago and then sent his kid to try to kill him before forming his own Titans just to get at Dick after everything. He does play games and do things to hurt Dick. He has in the past.” At her suggestion he could do it now, Tim shook his head. “It’s way too conspicuous. Our whole family is here. If there was a chance things could get back to him, he’d be in trouble. Clark’s here... a lot of people are here. It would have to be planned out.”

Tim grinned. “I mean, you doo give excellent massages.” He knew what she meant, and his ears were a little pink even as he played.

“Bruce has been so focused with the League. I haven’t talked to him or even gotten a feel from him. But he has to be weird about, right? Dick is an adult, so he can’t, like, forbid him from doing anything, though.”

STEPH: "I know. You're right." Steph knew she couldn't be naive about Deathstroke's intentions, especially given all that she'd heard about him over the years. It also made sense that he would want to stay under the radar, even if he'd chosen to do it in a way that put him directly on the radar, because this way he had Dick vouching for him. The thought made her feel a little nauseous. "That would be so fucked up," she said softly, her grip tightening on the steering wheel. "Does anyone know where he was that night?" Babs had the exact time Dick was shot, so it might be possible to backtrack and look at Slade's movements.

Rolling her eyes, she snorted softly. "Anyone ever tell you how cute you look when you're blushing?"

Steph thought about it. When she'd gone to see Dick the morning after he'd been shot, Slade and Bruce were both in the room. Thankfully Tim had warned her ahead of time, but it was still a jarring sight. "I think we're all weird about it, but Bruce has known about it longer than we have." The atmosphere in the room had been somber upon her arrival, but not necessarily hostile. "I just... he could have kept him from that room, right? Slade isn't, like, related to Dick or anything. And Bruce is stupidly rich. I mean, he let him sit right next to him."

TIM: "Yeah. Yeah it would. And admittedly, I don't know Deathstroke as well as some people." Which was already making the wheels in his head turn as he considered. He had originally considered hiring Rose after the dinner party, but he hadn't quite had a solid contract for her. Now, he did. And that was determining why her father had come to the city in the first place. He had to have said something. Some kind of story. But he was also perfectly capable of lying. Rose would see through that better than he would, as Slade's kid and someone trained--at least in part--by Slade himself. "I think I'm going to get in touch with Rose." Not that he relished the idea, considering he still remembered her trying to mount him at Titans Tower.

"Oh yeah. People on the street stop me, people tweet me. Everyone does," he teased before squeezing her hand a little bit. It was just... easy with Steph.

He thought for a moment. "Slade just showed up. Conveniently at the hospital. No one called him. It was like he had a tracker on Dick or something. Or maybe he knew he'd be in the hospital." He couldn't tell if he was going off the rails, but the theory actually seemed like a plausible lead. He hated it, but it didn't make it less plausible. "He told them he was Dick's partner, so they let him in. I guess if Bruce wanted him out, he could have made it happen, but only temporarily. Slade isn't exactly known for just taking things lying down, you know? If he wanted to be in with Dick, I'm sure he would have found a way."

STEPH: "I don't know Deathstroke at all." At this point Steph was taking Tim's word for it, but he was the smartest and most thorough person she'd ever known. Bruce was supposed to be smart, technically, even though his judgment was seriously lacking sometimes. Maybe she shouldn't be fazed by his lack of concern. "Rose? Seriously? Do you think she'd help? She seemed pissed at M'gann's disaster dinner, but..." Was she mad enough to go covert? "Do you think he'd tell her if he were up to something? They don't seem exactly close."

She raised her eyebrows playfully. "Yeah? Am I gonna have to fight someone?" Once they reached the IHOP, she reluctantly let go of his hand so she could park the car in the closest spot she could find. "I'm so excited!" Waffles.

Turning the car off, she hesitated before getting out of the car. As they walked in she kept her voice low, casual, but no one was anywhere close enough to overhear. "God, I wish I could have been a fly on the wall to see Bruce's reaction to that." As stoic as Bruce was about basically everything, it was amusing to consider.

TIM: “I know Rose hates her dad,” he reasoned. “Even if it’s complicated. I also know Rose is like her dad. So if I offer her enough money, she’ll sell him out. If he fed some story to her, it’ll be her job to either corroborate it or find out what really happened.” It made sense to him. “Besides, there must be something in her. M’Gann’s not stupid. She wouldn’t be close to her if she were evil. And she was a Titan, you know?”

“Nah, I’m just kidding around.” He couldn’t help but grin as her face lit up. Tim loved to see her happy, because her enthusiasm offset him so well, reminded him to come out of his own head sometimes. “Me too, I crave grease. Don’t tell Alfred.”

“I can’t believe they just... believed him.” He rubbed them back of his neck awkwardly. “Maybe he and Dick go together. Like visually, I don’t know. Bruce’s face was the typical flat look, but you could see the slight tension around his eyes. His crow’s feet deepen like ever so slightly.”

STEPH: Steph made a face, but she didn't like how Rose acted at the dinner party or the thought of working with her in the future, even though she knew she was a Titan. "I guess." She sighed heavily, shrugging. "M'gann's not stupid, but she sees the best in people. Like Dick." It might say something that they both were all tangled up in that family, for worse or for worse.

"Pretty sure that cat's outta the bag, Timbers." She grinned, thinking about the time Alfred caught her sneaking about a dozen chocolate eclairs into the Batcave. "What are you gonna get?"

Huffing softly, she waited until the waitress left them at the table before answering him. "Visually? Tim." She couldn't help but smirk. "Maybe they just figured it wasn't that far-fetched. It's not like... I don't know, anyone's going to question either of them." Bruce and Slade were intimidating. Just sitting in the same room with both of them made Steph nervous.

TIM: "Who else would I ask to look into it? Jason? Not likely. He wouldn't help me with this." Jason had already decided he didn't give a shit, and Tim wasn't the kind of person who could just not give a shit or stop caring about the well-being of his brother. It wasn't ever going to happen. "M'Gann's also a telepath. So if Rose were really dangerous, she'd pick up on something right?"

"Grand slam," he answered without much thought. Meat, meat, meat, eggs, hashbrowns and pancakes. Tim may be small, but the time he spent not at his desk was either sleeping, patrolling, or working out. Needless to say, he was hungry approximately always. "But I'll try one of your pumpkin waffles if you let me."

Tim grinned. "Well I don't know. Some people are into that, you know?" Shuddering, he added, "Not me. But like... some people." He shook his head. "I would have been much quicker to believe Slade was Bruce's partner if Bruce wasn't renowned for loving women very much. Or at least pretending to." It was no secret that Bruce Wayne in his youth had been considered a--gag--playboy. Tim read the tabloids.

STEPH: "Have you asked him?" Jason and Dick didn't seem as hostile as they used to be, even though Steph hadn't spent much time time with either of them after the dinner party. "I guess so," she agreed reluctantly. "She's been around Deathstroke and doesn't seem fazed."

Steph gave him a playful glare when he asked her to share her waffles. "Just how much do you think I like you?"

That made her scrunch her nose. "...Wow, what an image. No thanks. They're weirdly similar." Two sides of the same coin. It had made for an increasingly comfortable visit. Bruce gave short, terse responses, so she'd given up and asked Slade questions instead.

TIM: “No,” he said simply. The last time Tim had tried to talk to Jason it had gone badly. He wasn’t sure Jason would see a need to get involved. “I’m worried I’d just mad at him if he told me to stop worrying about Dick.” And he didn’t want more tension with him and his brother. He wanted to fix the rift that already existed. “I don’t want to mess anything else up.”

“Hopefully a lot,” he said, his grin softening. “Hopefully... as much as you used to?” When they had been together officially. He missed being her boyfriend.

“Yeah, I regret saying it now,” he agreed with a laugh. “Gross. And Slade would probably try to kill Bruce, right?”

STEPH: "Even if he did say that, you know he's just..." Steph sighed, rolling her eyes. "The way he is, it's a huge front. I knew a lot of guys at my school like him. Loud and mean and pretending like they don't give a shit."

Surprised, she looked up at him quickly. It wasn't often that anything made her blush, but that definitely did. "...Of course, Tim. You know that. I never stopped."

She made a face. "I hope so, or we would all have to leave the country. Can you imagine their conversations? It'd just be grunting back and forth. I guess Dick's into that." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she wished she could take them back. She hadn't meant to apply that to Bruce.

TIM: “Yeah, I don’t know. We were closer once.” In truth, it made Tim sad, but he hadn’t really given up. He just didn’t think that this was the right thing. Or maybe it was. He wasn’t sure. Maybe Steph had a point. He sighed. “I’ll try.”

“I know,” he said quietly. “Things just got mixed up and messed up, right? Just...” After Steph had come back, they had tried again. And then Bruce has gone missing and then they just... never made it official again. “I feel the same, though. About you, I mean. Sometimes I feel like you’re the only real constant, you know?”

Tim blanched. “God. That’s... now that you’ve pointed out the similarities, that’s so weird to think about.” He gave a deep shudder. “I’m learning a lot about Dick.”

STEPH: Steph wouldn't call herself close to Jason, but she knew what he was about in ways Dick and Tim would find difficult to understand. They'd both grown up on the wrong side of the tracks. Her mother was still addicted to painkillers and it wouldn't surprise her if Jason had been exposed to something similar. Kids weren't just orphans for no reason. "Don't let him get to you."

Pressing her lips together, she nodded slowly. "Yeah. That's what I want to be, I mean, I'm not going anywhere. You and all those other stupid boys... and Cass and Babs, of course... you guys are my whole life. They're family, but you're... well, you know what you are."

Never had Steph felt so grateful to be interrupted by the waitress. She unwrapped her straw as their server walked away again, grimacing. "Let's just undo the last five minutes."

TIM: Tim had just reached out to catch Steph’s hand, resting them on the table. He shook his head after they ordered, wrinkling his nose. “Agreed. I’m more interested in you and me anyway.” He gave a wry little grin. “So I guess this is the part where i ask you to be my girlfriend. Again.”

It would be nice to have a name for it. He had slipped back into ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ with ease. Now he just had an excuse to do it. Not that she had ever complained before. His thumb ran over the back of her hand as he watched her fondly.

STEPH: Even though they hadn't talked about it, the same question had been on the tip of Steph's tongue for the past few weeks. She relentlessly pursued Tim in the past, before everything went downhill, but the years since her return hadn't been easy. It felt better to let Tim come back to her. She knew how badly she'd hurt him. "Really?" She asked softly, wrapping her fingers tightly around his hand.

There was only a beat. Then Steph was out of her seat and flinging her arms around Tim's neck, unmindful of where they were and who was watching them. "I can be your girlfriend again??" Every time he tried to answer she kissed him so he couldn't get a word out, giggling.

TIM: “Of course, babe. I wouldn’t just say that.” He moved to speak more when suddenly he had a lap full of Steph. It didn’t bother him in the least, though; he was used to it with her. And she was completely unabashed in expressing her emotions. It was so different to Tim and part of why he loved her.

“If you want,” he finally managed to get out. “But, uh, judging by the... this...” He thought it was a pretty good bet to assume she wanted it. Reaching up, he tucked her hair behind her ear before catching her cheek. It was good. This was the most human he had felt in so long. And he always felt more functional with Stephanie. Of course he did.

STEPH: Steph had always been direct and unabashed about what she wanted and how she felt. It might have bordered on overly confident, but a lot of that had to do with overcompensating. Tim didn't treat her the way she was used to being treated by the boys she dated. He saw actual potential in her. "I know, I just want to hear you say it again!"

Laughing, she reached for his hand and kissed the center of his palm, snuggling her nose against it playfully. "What?" She asked innocently, unable to keep a straight face for longer than a few seconds, and grinned. "I'm allowed to miss you, jerk."

TIM: “I want you to be my girlfriend,” he said, indulging her. Steph was worth so much more than so many people had made her believe. She was strong and smart and beautiful and good. Tim hated anyone who had ever made her feel any differently. He certainly wouldn’t. Not when she wanted him for whatever reason. He wasn’t going to mess that up.

He grinned back, though her attention did make him flush red. After all, though he had dozed off with her a few times and though they had made out after she painted her room, he hadn’t let himself get carried away with her. Not when he wasn’t sure. He had needed to think, but the more he thought, the more he realized he was a complete idiot for making her wait. “I love you, Steph. Still. And probably always, honestly.”

STEPH: The words made her face light up and she wrapped her arms around his neck, still sitting sideways in his lap. Tim was in a booth, so it wasn't as if she were causing a huge scene, but she could see a few people looking over at them. "Mmmm..." She drew out the hum playfully. "Okay. I'll be your girlfriend." It was so weird to say the word and to hear Tim say it, when no one called her a girlfriend in any capacity in years.

Kissing Tim and holding his hand had made her feel very much like they were back at the beginning again. It hadn't been a bad feeling at all. In fact, it was very much the opposite. They had the chance to do things over better. "I love you, too, and... yeah. I don't see that ever changing. This is it for me."(edited) September 10, 2020

TIM: He grinned at that. “Okay,” he told her. “I’m tweeting it, so you can’t take it back. Once it’s on the Internet, it’s forever. I don’t make the rules.” He had to arch awkwardly to reach his phone in his back pocket, but he had it out eventually and even pulled up the camera before raising a brow. “Selfie?”

He looked up at her, feeling lighter exponentially now that they had it all figured out. It was nice. They could now just... be. No confusion, and boundaries Tim already understood. They just worked.

STEPH: "And I'll change my facebook status, even though that's, like, so early 2000s." Grinning, Steph leaned in to fit herself against Tim's shoulder. She was sure to give him rabbit ears at the very last second.

TIM: He snapped the picture and then noted the ears with a groan. “Now I look like a dork, Steph,” he complained playfully, shaking his head even as he tweeted it out. “Also Facebook? What are you, 45 years old?”

STEPH: Rolling her eyes, Steph snatched one of one the napkins left on the table and tossed it at him. “Still cooler than you.”

TIM: “Probably,” he agreed. “Most people are.” Tim was a certified nerd, even if he was a member of the Batfamily. He thought it suited him well, and clearly she didn’t mind. “But I make it work for me.”

He considered for a moment. “Have you decided if you’ll make contact with Kiteman as your family?” He asked her gently, shifting the subject. He had told her about the connection when he had discovered it. As far as he knew, she hadn’t done anything with it yet.

STEPH: “It’s endearing,” Steph agreed. She thought all the boys were nerds in different ways.

The subject change made her sigh and she shrugged. “Yeah, eventually. I’ve just been putting it off.” She didn’t know what to say, or even if anything would come of it.

TIM: "Well I'm glad you think so," he teased before shaking his head. At least he had that going for him.

He was surprised when she said she was putting it off. Was it because Kiteman was one of the rogues? Steph's father had been... not great, too. He wondered if that was part of what was tripping her up. "Don't want to deal with it?" He prompted. "Or is it something else?" He didn't want to force her to talk, but he he didn't want to sit there and wonder what she was thinking, when he could just ask her.

STEPH: Steph shrugged, chewing on the edge of her thumbnail. "I dunno. I'm just not sure if it's worth it. If he'll even care. It's not like we know each other." Smirking faintly she crossed her arms and rested them against the edge of the table. "Plus he's one of the bad guys, which is probably why Bruce never told me. What am I supposed to do if we come across each other in the field? It's just... I dunno. I'll say something eventually."

TIM: "Kiteman's kinda... funny," he said. "Dick knows him. I could talk to him about it and see what he thinks? If you don't want to, I mean. Try to get a read?" He knew that Dick had worked closer with Chuck than he certainly had. "Some of the bad guys aren't so... bad. There's Selina? We know she's flipped back and forth."

STEPH: "Yeah, I know, I've met him. He sees things that aren't even there, Tim. I could tell and he might just forget what I said to seconds later. He's in his own world." Steph didn't know how the news would be received, but she also didn't want to be disappointed. Family had never exactly been something she could rely on. "No, don't ask Dick. I'll do it. I really will." Eventually.

TIM: "Okay," he said, holding up his hands. "I just don't want you to sit on it forever. Unless you decide that it's just more worthwhile to not say anything." Steph wasn't a Wayne, which certainly made things less complicated for the pair of them dating. But it also meant that her only family wasn't her family. He didn't know how she felt about that, but he didn't push her. He just reached out to cover her hand. "Whatever you want to do, baby."(edited)

STEPH: Frowning, Steph tugged on her straw and swirled it around in her drink anxiously. “I won’t. I’ll figure it out.” Maybe she won’t know what she wanted to do until she actually saw him. She didn’t like overthinking things. Sometimes it was just better to go with your gut. Taking Tim’s hand, she reached for the syrup with the other. “Thanks. I’ll let you know whatever I decide... whenever I figure it out.”

TIM: "Okay. Works for me." He took a bite of the eggs, letting out a soft groan. "God this is the first, like, actual meal that i didn't take one bite of and then leave on the plate in... a really long time. God. A couple of weeks?" How had he been sustaining it? Sheer force of will and existential anxiety. Running a hand over his face, he let out a sigh.

STEPH: "That's insane, Tim." Steph sighed, but her tone was gentle despite her disapproval. "I'm surprised you haven't send Alfred into an early grave." After drowning her waffles in syrup, she cut off a huge bite. "You know how he worries."

TIM: "He tried to pull me out. I just... didn't want Dick to get hurt again, Steph. I'm still worried, honestly. And it feels... really rough that I wasn't there for him when it happened, you know?" He shook his head before idly pushing the eggs around the plate. "I needed to figure it out." Blowing out a soft breath, he shrugged. "And I still haven't quite. Even after all that work."(edited)

STEPH: "What do you mean? You were there for him, in every way you could have been." It wasn't as if any of them patrolled with Dick or had nightly check-ins. "You went to the hospital right away and you've been working your ass off to figure out who did this. And you will figure it out." Steph gave him a look. "But you have to eat meals, even if I have to force feed you bite by bite."

TIM: Maybe he wasn't being fair to himself, but Tim couldn't help it. He had been thinking about death and how easy it would be to lose one of his brothers since it had happened, and he hadn't been sure if maybe things would only get worse if he didn't solve it. They were always in danger. It was the nature of what they did. But he didn't want them to be any more in danger than they needed to be. He needed to protect his family as much as he could. And he needed to feel like, even though he hadn't been out in the field often due to the nature of his work with the League, he could still protect people in general. But maybe he was just spiraling to a place of abject unfairness to himself and Steph was reminding him of that.

"It isn't like I go into it thinking that I should ignore food. I just get caught up."

STEPH: "I know you don't. I'm not saying you do it on purpose. You just have to listen to the people around you. Alfred worries, but he knows what Bruce's limits are better than he does. Trust him. And trust me. You know I'm not going to nag you do anything unless I'm really worried." Nagging in particular was actually something she had a specific distaste for. And with the way things had been lately, Steph found herself getting closer and closer to that point. She was relived when Tim made the decision himself to finally leave the house so they could sit down and eat together.

TIM: "Alfred always worries," he muttered before shaking his head. He knew she was right. But he overthought everything. Overworked his own mind and his own motivations. "I do okay," he said. "I've been managing for a long time." Lifting his gaze, he met hers. "You don't need to worry, Steph. Promise."

STEPH: Steph rolled her eyes as she took another bite of her waffle. "Then listen to me if I say you need to eat. Then I don't have a reason to worry." Maybe it was selfish for her to want Tim to take care of himself, but she didn't like to see him run himself ragged. Sleep was another battle altogether, but maybe she could win the food battle.

TIM: "Fine," he answered before shaking his head. "I will try," he allowed. Tim couldn't promise that he wouldn't get wrapped up in what he was doing ever again. That his anxiety wouldn't put food far down the list of his priorities. But he would try. Because he didn't like that Steph was worried about him. He didn't like causing her any kind of pain and that was motivation to at least agree to attempt to be more conscientious.

STEPH: That was all Steph wanted to hear, really. She knew she couldn't expect Tim to be able to navigate himself into a healthy schedule or rely on him to suddenly develop healthy habits. It was a small win that he would agree to try. That meant she could always reference this conversation if were resistant or stubborn in the future. That was something. And Steph wouldn't abuse the power, either. She knew it was important to find out who did this. "Good."

TIM: The rest of the meal passed in companionable conversation. Things were always easy with her. She made him laugh, brought him out of his shell in ways that others didn't. Steph was comfortable, which, for Tim, was a godsend. For a man whose mind went a thousand miles an hour and whose anxiety followed him like a dark cloud, pancakes, eggs, and the effervescent blonde who, for some reason, wanted to be with him in spite of all his neuroses were like heat to the freezing. He was almost sad to pay the bill, though having eaten left him feeling tired and heavy.

It was early enough in the morning that nearly the whole house seemed to be sleeping as they pulled the Redbird back into the garage. They'd just gotten out when Tim bit his lip and caught Steph's hand. "Wanna come to my room with me?" She had her own room, he knew, but he didn't want her to go to it. Not when they could be close. When he could enjoy the comfort of having her with him. Tim was still processing a lot, and it would be nice to have someone else to put his mind on, even if he just ended up falling asleep with her.

STEPH: Steph paid attention to how much Tim ate, but she didn't give any sign of it. She knew he didn't want someone else to mother him. That was a role typically assigned to Alfred, or Dick, and she knew Tim could get frustrated if he were being treated as if he weren't competent. Instead she teased him and talked to him about patrol, even showed him a few videos that she was going to put on TikTok later. Some even had added music. She was still giggling at NOVA agents tripping over themselves trying to catch Cass as they were leaving the restaurant. The mood was lighter and she could feel it.

It still took her by surprise when Tim invited her to his room. She looked down at his hand and squeezed it, smirking a little as she leaned in to gently tap the tip of his nose. "I thought you'd never ask. Am I about to witness a miracle?" Tim Drake sleeping? She'd wanted to say something before, but she thought it would push her luck. The fact that he would offer on his own was a huge step forward.

TIM: "The miracle of Tim Drake sleeping?" He asked with a smirk. "Maybe. The magic of Steph Brown." He wrinkled his nose playfully before leading her up the stairs. His limbs felt heavy even as he pushed open the door and kicked off his shoes. It was all he could do to get his jeans off and his shirt over his head before he pulled the blankets back for her. "After you."

STEPH: Before Tim came upstairs, Steph had already been dressed for bed. All she had to do was kick off her shoes. She got under the covers, yawning as she slipped to the side and in her usual spot by the wall. It was where she always liked to sleep, tucked up in a little ball, and piled high with covers and blankets sometimes made it impossible for anyone to see she was there.

TIM: As she slipped over to the wall, Tim joined her, moving close and wrapping an arm around her waist. Catching her chin, he raised a brow. "Can I kiss you?" he asked her. Tim always asked, even if it was a little stupid. But he didn't want to ever assume. Still, he'd like to kiss her goodnight. And then he could kiss her good morning whenever they woke up. The thought made him just a little giddy, and then he felt a little silly for that too. But he couldn't stop the way his stomach tightened a little. It'd be good. This time, they'd be good. They weren't as young. Things weren't as complicated. Not for the two of them, at least.

STEPH: Steph always thought it was adorable when Tim asked her permission for something as innocent and sweet as a kiss. In the past, she'd never been as thoughtful. She smiled, reaching up to gently brush a few stray pieces of hair off of his forehead. "You can kiss me, Boy Wonder." It didn't matter if he weren't technically Robin anymore. That was what she'd always call him. The early years had left an impression despite what happened later on, but she would never want to forget everything they experienced together.

TIM: He gave a crooked little grin before leaning down to slide his lips against hers. He couldn't help himself as he caught her hip. Tim never minded when Steph all but jumped him for kisses and whatever she wanted. He knew he was probably a little overly ridiculous about it, but Steph had been through a lot of crap in her life. Tim wanted her to always feel valued, because he did value her. She deserved to know it. "I love you," he told her quietly, just a little shyly, even if it had been so easy for him to say in the restaurant. This context always felt different. Intimate.

STEPH: Every since they were teenagers, Steph found Tim's shyness to be endearing. She hadn't known his identity at first. As Robin, Tim was confident and impressive in all areas except flirtation. It was the only way she could shock him, and it wasn't as if she could keep up with him in the other areas. She playfully hooked her ankle between Tim's feet as she kissed him back. It felt comfortable, familiar, and she was blushing a little by the time he drew back. "I love you, too."

TIM: As she blushed, he pressed another kiss to her cheek. He didn't want to start anything tonight that he couldn't finish, but he didn't think that Steph would begrudge it of him as he pulled her close and buried his face in her neck. The scent of her skin and the familiar beat of her heart was all but hypnotic as sleep pulled at him. His eyes began to slip closed and he pressed another little kiss to her pulse as his breathing began to deepen.

#c: redrobin-timdrake #c: discord #tim drake #stephanie brown

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a-secondhand-sorrow · 5 years ago

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dream about that casual touch

just some nice Astrid/McAfee fluff to calm down your Sunday.

read on ao3

McAfee wasn’t ready to listen to James and Alice chatter (or argue) on. It was too early for that. She’d woken up before eight for three years straight without a single exception at Columbia, and she thought she was ambitious and ready enough that she wanted to keep on her streak of four hours of sleep a night into her working life. But the longer she worked with Payton’s campaign, the more she longed for a few hours of silence and calm without the constant debates around which subway station more voters could be swayed in.

If Payton and Skye would just return to the NYU dorm room where they were all awaiting their return from whatever convoluted errand the two of them were running, at least the conversation would be productive. But as it was, James and Alice had decided to rehash the ad campaign that McAfee had been up until three redesigning the night before. She and Astrid met eyes and sighed right as the two began discussing the specifics of the ad placements. McAfee slid down the wall she was leaning against, always too dramatic to ever just sit down on a chair or a bed in her impeccably coordinated pantsuits, and silently gave herself permission to mentally check out of the conversation. She’d designed the campaign, anyway; they could figure it out from there.

She folded her legs under herself, pulling her phone out from an inner pocket of her blazer. She considered her options, choosing to open up Instagram. She rarely used her personal account, as she spent most of her social media time managing Payton’s image and campaign, but opening it made her feel almost odd. It always felt so polished and professional, much as she tried to be herself, but she didn’t trust herself much with her own account. Her only two posts were with her and her dog from high school and a photo with her parents at Columbia graduation. She was always afraid she’d post the wrong thing, but scrolling through other’s posts couldn’t do much damage.

Rather unceremoniously, Astrid threw herself down onto the ground next to her. McAfee nearly dropped her phone from the suddenness of it, her thumb still poised over Payton’s newest photo with his mother, ready to double click. Suddenly she couldn’t think of anything else besides the place where Astrid’s shoulder pushed against her upper arm, and the little bit of blond hair that had flown loose from her ponytail and now was sticking to her own shoulder, or the slight heat coming from Astrid’s ankle as it strayed closer to hers, and the way something in her throat seemed to constrict as Astrid caught her eye and the corners of her mouth quirked up, uncharacteristically sweet.

McAfee tried to smile back without forcing that feeling in her throat to bubble up any more before looking away, back to her phone. James and Alice’s conversation presented itself to her in the form of a distraction (it was a sad day when that became the distraction) while her thumb continued its scrolling. Another good post of a good, round, fluffy dog.

“-posters may be more effective, but only along the student-heavy routes-”

“Which are those? Sure, there’s the designated ‘student’ ones, but since you’re actually a student-”

Another book promo for a comic artist she’d once found mildly amusing.

“It’s not quite that clear-cut, Alice, in a city with this many students. They all have vastly different routes and places where they’re commuting to.”

Astrid didn’t seem to mind that her stray hairs were now resting on McAfee’s shoulder; in fact, she seemed like she wanted her head to follow suit with the hairs and drop onto McAfee’s shoulder.

Which it did, a moment later.

Oh no.

In some futile attempt to stop her body from doing its normal human contact initiated, engage awkward tensing of entire body so as not to disturb the other person dear Lord do not move a single centimeter routine, McAfee attempted to keep her thumb moving, scrolling, going. Past the rows of aesthetic note-taking sets, high school acquaintances’ senior college photos, a few people from her dorm at Columbia, all the way past something that might have been a teaser for a new season of a Netflix show she’d watched in one sitting over the summer.

“I hated that show,” Astrid said offhandedly, angling her head to yawn into McAfee’s shoulder.

Truthfully, she was not offended that anyone wouldn’t like the show, but her brain was malfunctioning with the surprisingly cool feel of Astrid on her shoulder, and besides, as McAfee Westbrook, she had an image to uphold as an obnoxiously opinionated person. Some part of her brain registered Alice refer to her experience in the campaign office, but she ignored it in favor of blurting out a “how could you not like it?”

Astrid shrugged, a gesture that McAfee felt rather than saw. “I don’t know. It’s just, like, kids doing shit with their minds. We all do shit with our minds, it’s just not special.”

McAfee shook her head. “Of course you would belittle superpowers to being ‘not special.’”

The pressure against her shoulder changed at that and Astrid looked up towards McAfee. Their faces were closer together than she could ever recall them being. “Well, yeah, they’re not real, silly.”

For some reason, the word silly coming out of Astrid Sloane’s mouth like that when their mouths were only (maybe) six inches apart was too much for McAfee’s brain to handle. She started laughing before she could put a cap on the thought, her head turning away from Astrid. A moment later, Astrid’s giggles mingled with hers, warm and bright and deeper than she would have expected. She was afraid to look at Astrid’s face for fear of what she might feel, but she could feel Astrid’s shoulder shake against hers, and that was enough.

When their laughter died off, Astrid, without even looking at McAfee’s face, dropped her head to the place where McAfee’s thigh and knee met in an uncoordinated but endearingly fluid movement. Almost without thinking, McAfee dropped her hand that wasn’t holding her now-dark phone to Astrid’s hair. It was newly short, and she froze as soon as her fingertips brush the tips of her blond hair. She was glad Astrid couldn’t see her since she was sure that all the blood that had previously been in her brain and allowing her to function as a human being had rushed to her cheeks. She withdrew her hand, but Astrid grabbed her wrist before she fully could and guided it back to her hair. Hesitantly, McAfee twined her fingers through Astrid’s hair, watching the way her eyes flickered shut with a warming feeling in her chest.

The ends of her hair felt smooth and soft under her fingertips, and she allowed herself to smile. Even though her leg was starting to fall asleep, she didn’t dare move when Astrid looked so calm and relaxed in her presence. Almost every other time, she felt an edge of something sharp and bitter and unrelenting in Astrid’s actions; with a history as weird as theirs was, it seemed inevitable. But this was a different type of Astrid. This wasn’t the girl who had picked up a stupid campaign she didn’t even care about to spite someone she didn’t know that well. This was someone who had hardened in order to learn how to live and had softened to learn how to be around other people. She seemed indescribably gentle and breakable when she was close to sleep in McAfee’s lap, but she much preferred this new Astrid to the cutthroat but unimpassioned one of high school. Her heart was in her throat, but her hand continued its pattern of stroking through her hair.

She heard someone clear their throat across the room. McAfee tore her eyes up and away from the corner of Astrid’s jaw, her eyes locking with James’ automatically. Out of her periphery, she saw Alice quickly look away from her and Astrid and back at her phone unconvincingly, her lipstick-lined mouth curving into a smile. James cocked his head to one side, eyebrows raised. They’d known each other so long that McAfee could read his expression easily. She channeled every bit of intimidation she could (which was quite a lot) into a single raised eyebrow, mimicking his posture. He smirked at her, and she felt even more heat flare into her cheeks but ignored it for pride’s sake. James had the decency to finally turn his head away, but she knew the damage was already done.

She didn’t really care, however. The feeling in her chest was large and expansive enough that she didn’t think even James’ teasing could ruin her mood.

In a sudden burst of confidence, McAfee reached for Astrid’s hand with her free hand. Astrid handed it over willingly, and she rested their now-entwined fingers on her other knee. Her heart nudged the base of her throat at all of their contact. Even though it was just their hands, their entwined fingers felt more intimate to her than any real physical experiences she’d had with any other girls. She was all too aware of James and Alice’s presences before, but with Astrid’s palm against hers and her thumb tracing invisible patterns over her knuckles, the room narrowed until her world was just a golden and white and brown blur, only the detail of Astrid’s eyelashes and her sparse freckles holding any kind of sharp quality to them. She was sure she’d be able to see them when she closed her eyes, and she did. They were all she could see. She tilted her head backward and let it rest against the wall, content to lie there with Astrid’s head on one knee and their hands on her other.

Of course, Payton and Skye returned soon after - she wasn’t exactly sure when, as her sense of time was never great - and Astrid forced herself up and away from McAfee, stretching and yawning before finally standing up. But she winked quickly in McAfee’s direction, and she couldn’t stop smiling as Payton directed the conversation somewhere campaign-related. Later, at dinner, when the two sat next to each other, she’d feel Astrid’s foot tap hers, and she’d tap Astrid’s back. And when the rest of their group huddled around Skye’s phone on the walk back home, Astrid would reach over and grab McAfee’s hand again with her smaller one.

Under the faded sky, Astrid would smile and tug McAfee back, sparing one glance towards their friends. McAfee would think James saw them leave, but he’d just smile and turn his attention back to the group, claiming ignorance of their missing friend’s whereabouts when questioned. They’d stop under the relative privacy of a tree, away from the normal traffic flow.

“Oh, finally. We can’t hear them talking,” Astrid would say, eyes gleaming in the half-light. New York was never dark, but McAfee was particularly partial to the nighttime anyway. Or maybe she would simply be drawn to the way that Astrid looked, her short hair seeming to soak up the light and her blue eyes bright in contrast to the dark circles under her eyes. She had never noticed before, but in that light, she would see the flecks of amber and green that buried themselves deep in her eyes, and she’d look at Astrid’s lips, pursed against laughter, and the gentle way Astrid’s thumb rubbed against the back of her hand, and she’d look back up at Astrid’s face.

“Thank God,” she said finally.

Before she could even think about it, she would kiss her, and Astrid would kiss her back, soft at first, exploring, hesitant. It’d transform into something deeper and imploring, something a little more desperate, something that was rushing out of them all at once. Astrid’s other hand would rope around her neck to pull her even closer and her own hand would find its way into Astrid’s short, soft hair. Their bodies would fit flush together, and as the cool air fell on their cheeks, they’d have no other thoughts than that moment. Astrid’s lips drove away any doubts McAfee had had before, and she would savor the overwhelming waves of affection she felt, pulling back for the barest breaths between kisses before diving back in headfirst.

Eventually, they would succumb to laughter that built between kisses, laughing close to each other as they had that morning. Her heart and chest ached from the force of all of it, the laughing and the kiss. And as Astrid’s giggles finally faded off, she would press a kiss to her cheek, feeling a bit lightheaded with affection. They’d still be pulled close together so that it was difficult to tell where one began and the other ended, but neither cared, simply too wrapped up in their shared bubble of joy to notice anything else.

(Even James and Alice walking up just behind them, with Alice groaning and slipping James five dollars before both retreated again, bickering good-naturedly to each other.)

Astrid would shake her head and withdraw her arm from around McAfee’s shoulders, choosing to instead cup her cheek with one hand. She’ll smile again and press one last kiss to McAfee’s lips, soft and radiant and happy. And McAfee would return the smile and the kiss and the happiness. She’d probably give her anything she could, anything she ever wanted, just to see that smile again, just to feel her lips on hers.

#the politician #the politician netflix #the politician fanfiction #mcafee westbrook #astrid sloan #mcafee/astrid #mine #my fanfiction

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roswelldetails · 5 years ago

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RNM 2x08 - Say It Ain't So

EPISODE SUMMARY:

JAMIE CLAYTON GUEST STARS — Despite promising Liz (Jeanine Mason) that he’ll take things easy with his new heart, Max (Nathan Dean) sets out to find Cameron after learning that she’s gone missing. Michael (Michael Vlamis) grows concerned about Maria (Heather Hemmens) after a surprising discovery about her family history leaves her vulnerable. Elsewhere, ready to move on, Alex (Tyler Blackburn) goes on a date with Forrest (guest star Christian Antidormi), and Rosa (Amber Midthunder) makes a decision about her future. Rachel Raimist directed the episode written by Eva McKenna & Christopher Hollier (#208). Original airdate 5/4/2020.

DETAILS:

Rosa's secret identity:

"...Cousin Rosalinda from Arizona. My mom married a minor league baseball player, but when he got relocated to a team in Florida…"

"Okay, you know what, let's just go with, they're dead."

This is a Twilight reference.

Rosa about the Mean Girl's art in the cave:

"That reminds me of Stephen Powers before he sold out."

Stephen Powers is a former street artist who went commercial. Some examples of his older work here:

Other examples of his newer, more commercial work here:

By the way, speaking of the cave:

And this is some fabulous visual storytelling right here:

Max is working at the Wild Pony. Temporarily, of course.

"Turns out debt collectors don't care if you've been half dead in a glowing pod for a few months."

So much for the headcanon that Max "I've been driving the same car since high school and am a homeowner before 30" Evans is good with his money. 😆 Debt collectors don't show up that fast… not that I know from experience or anything. 😳 *backs slowly away*

Iris refers to the cave as the go to hang spot for all the artsy weirdos. So it isn't like it was specifically Rosa's cave/hidden spot.

It's the first time we've seen this particular cave other than in 2008 flashbacks.

Iris Sanchez & Rosa Ortecho. Flower, Mexican family name. 😭 The hint is there!

Also 👀 from:

The iris earned its name from the ancient Greek Goddess Iris, a messenger to the gods who was thought to use the rainbow as a bridge between heaven and earth...these flowers were named to honor the Rainbow Goddess and bring favor upon the earth.

Mimi made Maria take back the necklace.

"She said that it was too late for her and that I needed it more."

Michael has seen the necklace before, but he didn't know what the flower was when he fixed the clasp and returned it to her in 1x10. It was 1x11 when they learned of the existence of the anti alien pollen. Michael reminds us:

"I know this flower. Its pollen has a paralytic effect on alien abilities."

Once Maria takes it off, she can name every card Michael pulls from the deck.

Maria lists off a bunch of necklace facts from past episodes that fandom has previously noted...

Her powers were heightened when Michael had the necklace in 1x10.

She wasn't wearing it when Noah invaded her at the gala.

And she wasn't wearing it at Woman As Warrior in 2x02 when she sensed that Isobel was pregnant.

"Kyle said you aren't an alien."

Fact. Kyle did say that. It doesn't mean that it's a fact that Maria doesn't have alien DNA in her though.

Kyle determined that her blood doesn't carry the alien protein that's in the Pod Squad and Rosa. He is making an assumption that the protein is tied to being an alien.

He said he ran other tests, but the results would take longer to come in.

Also, just a personal theory, what else do Rosa and the Pod Squad (and Noah) all have in common? They all spent significant time marinating in a pod full of goo. Rosa (10 years), Pod Squad (at least 50 years), Noah (60 years). Kyle has not studied any samples of alien biology from an alien who didn't spend time in pod goo. It's possible the protein is related to the pod goo, moreso than the alien biology. Again, just speculation on my part.

Maria confirms that her mom started getting sick when she was 18, just after she passed the necklace on to Maria.

"If this prevents you from having more episodes, it probably stops the neurodegeneration process too. It's not kryptonite, Maria. This is preventative medicine. Keep it on."

In 2x06 it was established that in addition to Sanders' place being a junkyard and a mechanic/auto shop, they also do tow truck service. Now that comes into play again as Michael was hired to bring Cam's car back to Roswell for the investigation into her disappearance. He brought it to the junk yard first though to give Max and Liz an hour to check the car for clues before the sheriff's department comes to collect it.

Max is smart too, in his own way. He quickly identified that "Agent Powell" was driving a rental car and that her gun wasn't government issue.

However, it's only when he sees her tattoo (which Cam told him about in 1x07) that he confirms that she's actually Charlie Cameron!

(10 points to fandom!)

Max & Liz's conversation with Charlie is mostly just reminding us what we know about Charlie and Jenna's relationship.

Liz indicates that Jenna had been looking for Charlie for months. Charlie responds that she didn't want to be found (both things we learned in 2x04 through Cam's discussion with Jesse Manes.

Max indicates that Jenna thought that Charlie hated her, a call back to us first learning about Charlie and the matching tattoos in 1x07.

"I worked on a controversial project a while back. A lot of dangerous people want to know what I know."

(Again, stuff we learned in 2x04).

They learn through Cam's text history that she was looking for Jesse Manes (which we already knew, because...2x04).

"I'm just a guy standing in front of a tourist trap asking a history buff to shoot him with high velocity paint."

Tongue-in-cheek reference to the movie Notting Hill.

"So, you're cool playing war? Doesn't bring anything up?"

"Oh, yeah, my PTSD triggers are a little more complicated. Suffice to say, this war zone is the only place that my family actually got along when I was a kid."

"Yeah, some of my old platoon buddies actually play in leagues."

"I didn't know that you served."

"Yeah I wouldn't go bragging about it to a guy with a Purple Heart. I might have googled you."

New information… both that Forrest served, that he looked into Alex (which could be innocent OR sketchy…).

And of course this is the first open discussion about Alex's PTSD issues.

Cowboys versus aliens paintball… Alex is the cowboy, so Forrest must be the alien.

The call that interrupted Forrest's attempt to kiss Alex was from the hospital. Hence why Alex goes there to see Jesse.

"Look, if I had a little lucky charm that could stop people like Noah from messing with me, I would have that surgically implanted into my décolletage."

Have to admit, I wasn't sure what décolletage meant, so in case anyone else isn't familiar:

"These abilities are a part of me. I'm not gonna just throw away the chance to learn about who I am. That make sense to you?"

"Yeah, actually, it does."

"You've gotten stronger this year, right? Can you teach me to train? Learn how to control it all?"

"Look, it took a lot of practice before I could do anything without puking and guzzling acetone to kill the pain. And you can't practice, because according to Kyle, every time you do it eats your brain."

"Look, I'll stop before it goes that far, okay? I know the signs. Besides, if you help me, maybe I can help you. There must be something that you want to know about your future."

"What about my past?"

Max meeting with Jesse at the Crashdown. This is super interesting because it's the first time Max has sat down, face to face, with a hostile human who knows he's an alien.

"My uncle used to bring me here. That was back when it catered to a more civil clientele. People who actually respected the history of this town."

This is likely foreshadowing what's to come next week, based on the promo pics released.

Again, similar to the scene with Charlie at the junkyard, much of this exchange between Max and Jesse is just reminding us of stuff we learned in 1x04.

"The last time I saw her she came to me with questions about her sister. And I told her that the people most interested in Charlie's device were a black ops group based out of Los Alamos. They're called Deep Sky. This is their logo. Paramilitary. And I told Jenna that what she was getting into was gonna be dangerous. But apparently she didn't listen.

Note: in case any of you are unaware, in Los Alamos there's a US DOE lab that has a long, sketchy history of weapons development. Makes perfect since that it's where a paramilitary organization interested in Charlie's research would be based there.

The Deep Sky Logo

I compared this to a number of screenshots of alien symbols (like the ones we saw in Jim Valenti's letters in 1x12) and there were no matches.

However, fandom has already noted that the logo matches Trevor's ring in 2x06 (see that episode's details post for the photo).

"Charlie Cameron's mind is a unique specimen. Kind of like you. And there's always someone in the shadows waiting to crack those open."

"What did you do to Jenna?"

"I told her the truth. Which is more than you ever did. You're kind of a wolf in sheep's clothing, aren't you?"

"And what are you? Do you feel like a hero? All those people you tortured, all those people you killed. Turns out none of them were an enemy. They were refugees. So you're not just a murderer, you're a failure."

"Yeah, I know. I am. But I tell you, something shifted in my brain when I had the stroke. All the hate's gone out of me. All the fight. Caulfield is over and my son Flint has been reassigned. Look at me. I can barely walk."

Liz and Charlie in the car:

"Waitressing's really got to blow when you've grown a fully functioning heart muscle in a lab. Or are you not the same Elizabeth Ortecho who co-authored a 2013 paper on cellular reprogramming? Some people build model trains; I do my homework. Your boyfriend seems more like the train type."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"We've discovered new worlds and changed the course of mankind from a microscope. Should I go Netflix and chill with my boyfriend or stay in the lab, architecting the future?"

"No offense, but if it's true that you've been in prison and in hiding, it does not seem like you've seen much of the inside of a lab either."

"I went too far. I thought I was building something with real value. The thing is, anything that has the potential to create real change, it scares people. And anything that scares people is inherently dangerous no matter what your intention is."

"You could start over. Get a new identity, work at a research university."

"I've done extraordinary things. Everything ordinary is ruined now."

More exposition that we already know as Max catches Charlie and Liz up on what he learns from Jesse.

"He said Cam is headed to Los Alamos to investigate a group called Deep Sky. Does that mean anything to you?"

"No. Let me reach out to some of my military contacts, do some recon. Give me a day, we'll go from there."

Liz and Michael, in the lab, on The Science:

"I'm looking for the sample of yellow pollen."

"The stuff I swept off the floor after throwing it at Noah? I don't know. I didn't see it while we were packing up."

"Well it was here a few months back. Did I miss an experiment where it grew legs and a fondness for the outdoors?"

"Could have been accidentally thrown away. Sample was too oxidized to be of much use, and I've been trying to get my hands on fresh flowers, but it's impossible. I think they might be extinct. Why are you freaking out?"

"Because I have a math problem. There's only one flower in Maria's necklace, but there are two DeLuca women and apparently the flower is the key to preventing their illness. This is everything from the Caulfield drives and the experiments done on Maria's grandmother. A lot of it was lost in a lab fire in the '80s, but…"

"I'll take a look."

(Aside… 👀 Lab fire in the '80s. I have a feeling that's more foreshadowing.)

"I just want you to see if anything done could be undone. I don't want you to, like, Dr. Frankenstein it. The experiments were very bad."

"My days as an alien scientist are officially over."

"Why don't I believe you?"

"'Cause it's hard not to think about the far-reaching implications of this kind of research. You don't get sick on this planet. If I could figure out why, I could eradicate all illness."

"But you can't. Because that would expose us."

"Which I would obviously never do. It's over."

Arturo's text to Liz:

Have you seen our little mouse?

"Rosalinda" is late for her first shift.

Isobel and Maria go to Michael's trailer and Isobel shows Maria the newspaper clip of Michael's mom to try to trigger a vision.

"It's not working. And I don't feel great going through this stuff without Michael knowing."

"Why not? One day this palace might all be yours."

"It's not working. I have a business to run, and you need to go Instagram something."

"Says the social media revitalizer. Listen, word to the wise, every time Max saw Liz in a skirt and tried not to pop a bulb, he wound up setting off a fire alarm. Everytime I push myself too hard, I miss time, or wind up accidentally realizing that my mom still thinks about her ex-boyfriend Rocco, like, in vivid detail."

"Okay, where are you going with this?"

"Effort doesn't equal control. So if you want to do this you're gonna have to embrace your inner ice queen and let it go."

"I'm not great at letting things go."

"Yeah, I know. That's hard…"

Maria's vision:

Triggered by a t-shirt hanging in the trailer.

Louise is hanging laundry

Walt runs up to her and gives her a little windmill with her name on it. (Initially I thought her name was pressed or punched into the metal, but on second viewing, it looks like it might be puff paint or something similar.)

Walt runs off to find Nora and Louise goes back to hanging laundry.

After the vision Maria's nose starts bleeding.

Max goes after Charlie to stop her from turning herself in.

I wonder if his tire screeching action guy driving is supposed to be emphasizing to the audience that he's not being as cautious as he should be?

Deep Sky said that if Charlie "...wasn't at Sutter's grain depot by 11pm, that they would torture (Cam) to death."

Charlie heard on the call:

A train rolling by

A demonic laugh

And somehow that's enough for Max to magically know exactly where Cam is.

Alex and Jesse at the hospital:

"Hey, they said that you mixed whiskey with your medications. That's not like you."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"I don't know. I mean, you're my father. I can't seem to shake you."

"Yeah. I failed."

"Yes. But in what way specifically?"

"Uncle Tripp. I let him down. I never could figure out what he needed of me. And tonight I went to the bunker. And I keep trying to crack the code."

"Liz said that you spoke to Max Evans. She said that you were half decent to him. Is that what this is about?"

"One of them killed Tripp, you know."

"An alien? Yeah. Then he hunted them. He dragged them to a torture chamber. I'm not surprised one of them…"

Jesse slams his cane.

"He was the best man I ever knew.

Jesse tries to stand and falls into Alex, then continues to walk away.

The location that Deep Sky is holding Cam looks like a rodeo or horse arena or racetrack with a big grandstand.

There are nearby train tracks, and a warehouse where a mechanic repairs old carnival rides.

As Max and Charlie are scoping out the area you can hear both sounds softly in the background.

The sniper was watching and shooting at them from the grandstand.

Charlie is shot in the leg.

"Let me go get her."

"No. Deep Sky wants me alive. Your brain is worth considerably less to them which means it'll be splattered all over the dirt."

(Oh the irony...confirming that Charlie doesn't know that Max is an alien.)

"If anything goes wrong, call Liz. No doctors."

Max does shoot the sniper!

And then uses his powers to knock out the power (and instantly feeling it in his heart when he starts to use his powers!!!!!!) which, as @angsty-aliens very eloquently pointed out, is absurd because there was a big red lever that would have done the same thing. *facepalm*

Cam on her kidnapping:

"The last thing I remember is this weird sound. It made the hairs on my arm stand up. And this bright light, and the pain in the back of my neck like you wouldn't believe."

Cam's burn is fractals. Like Liz's burn from Max's powers in 1x03. Top is Liz's fresh burn in 1x03, bottom is Cam's not-so-fresh burn in 2x08. Keep in mind, we don't know how long Cam was missing for.

Rosa and Iris at the "art show".

"So you said you're from Roswell?"

"Oh, I was from Roswell. I got out and went to art school as soon as I graduated. I work for an artist now. I help her run her gallery. Yeah, I used to want to be a painter, but then I realized I loved curating art way more than I ever loved making it."

👀 I wonder what this says about Rosa's internal motivation. If Iris is the life she wishes that she had, does she not want to be a painter? Or is that her internal insecurity rearing its head. Like, she can't even dream about that possibility because it's what she really wants above all else. Which is why Iris then motivates her to paint and prove to her inner self that she is an artist?

Speaking of which, here's Rosa's painting from the episode. Mucho gracias to @rosaortecho for giffing it for me since it wasn't cap-able in a single shot.

Iris's assessment of Rosa's art:

"This piece is you outrunning your demons. This is amazing. That's what you have to do. You have to capture them and rattle the cage. This is art. This is what you're meant to do, Rosa!"

Rosa's hallucination starts to fall apart as they dance. She starts coughing and having trouble breathing.

"Your star sign's just out of whack."

Play on lyrics from God of Wine by Third Eye Blind, which was heavily referenced in 1x02.

The direct quote is "your star sign's out of whack" and the next lyric is "a fraudulent zodiac"

Which, of course, is what Rosa had written on her hand before she died in 2008 and is a reference to Ophiuchus, which was Noah's zodiac obsession.

And then Liz finds her overdosing in the cave.

The coughing in Rosa's hallucination was from smoke inhalation. Because while passed out she started a fire with her powers.

Feels like a good time to point out that it's the same cave that she died in back in 2008, and she would have died there again if Liz hadn't found her. 😭

At the hospital Rosa tells Liz that she wants to go to rehab, but she knows she can't since she can't control her powers.

Liz gives her Maria's necklace to borrow since it will suppress her powers and allow her to go to rehab.

Alex and Forrest at the Wild Pony:

"I still have my dad's voice in my head telling me that being seen with a man in public is an embarrassment. To my name and my uniform."

"Well, there's nothing like a dad voice to mess up a perfectly good date."

"It's also just that...I mean, Roswell's so conservative. This bar is filled with cowboys. If you want to go someplace private…"

"Look, I like you. But I don't want to climb into somebody else's closet."

"I cannot tell you how badly I want to be done with this frickin' closet."

"But you're not. And that's okay. Really. Listen, if that voice in your head ever shuts up, give me a call. Because between you and me, making out with a hot guy in public is only made hotter when it pisses off all the bigots and homophobes."

Charlie took off and left a note for Jenna. According to Jenna it says she's gonna disappear again and not to look for her.

Arturo is taking Rosa to a rehab center that Kyle set her up with "a few hours away".

Max tells Liz "let's go home." So… did she move in with him??

Liz says no though. She says she has to open the diner and cry alone. But instead she goes to the secret lab.

Both Max and Liz were evading the truth a little bit here. Liz didn't tell Max that she wanted to go to the secret lab. Max didn't tell Liz that his heart did wonk out after using his powers and he did overdo it going after Cam. Bad Echo!!

Liz goes back to packing the secret lab up initially, but then her eyes fall into the Caulfield folders, and she stops.

She unpacks her stolen equipment (genetic sequencer?), puts on her lab coat, and sits down to start reading the file.

Isobel brings Michael beer as a peace offering, since she's coming to admit that she helped Maria trigger a vision. She thinks Michael will be mad, but he isn't because he and Maria already worked it out.

So Isobel tells him about the vision and seeing Louise, and specifically about Walt giving Louise the windmill.

Michael immediately reacts, goes to a shelf, and grabs a similar windmill.

Turns out Walt is Sanders. He pulls up in his car and Michael immediately confronts Sanders.

"It was you. You're Walt. You're the little boy in the photo. You knew my mother."

And Sanders nods.

10 more points to fandom.

Max goes to Charlie's hotel to confront her about turning herself in to Deep Sky.

The windmill in both scenes. Until I put this together I didn't think they were the same one (because Louise's name isn't on Michael's. But other details (like the word weight on one of the legs) are the same.

"You think Deep Sky needs to have Jenna by the throat to kill her? Okay, the only way that I can protect her is from the inside."

Then the "abduction scene" happens.

It mirrors what happened to Jenna in 2x04, only to Max and Charlie.

MUSIC:

1. Hole "Celebrity Skin"

2. Lukas Nelson & Promise Of The Real "Die Alone"

3. Shelly Fairchild "Worry No More"

4. Marc Danzeisen "Some Things Last Forever"

5. Joey Sykes "Sign Of The Times"

6. I AM ORFA "Like That Look"

7. Danny Ayer "Set Us Free"

8. Hamish Anderson "Trouble"

9. OMC "How Bizarre"

10. Muscadine Bloodline "Movin' On"

11. Little May "Hide"

#roswell new mexico #details #rnm season 2 #episode details #long post #rnm 208 #say it ain't so

14 notes · View notes

madzilla84 · 5 years ago

Text

VidCon London 2020

I wrote up some rambly thoughts on Vidcon, my trip, and Phil day!

I arrived in London the night before the others, last Thursday (a week ago?? WOT), so went straight to my friend’s place in London – we went to a pub near his for pizza, and while I was there I saw Dan’s cute tweet. After a few wines, it made me super emotional as you can imagine. I love him. <3

We had some more drinks once we got back, which made the next morning … well.

Friday – Day 1

YUP, HANGOVER. But luckily not a ‘can’t function’ hangover, so once I’d packed up I made my way over to the Airbnb (it was fuckin WIMDY) to leave the luggage (too early to check in). The previous occupants were a group of Lads who’d left the place in a state, so it was still being cleaned. HONESTLY BOYS SMH)

Then I headed to the complex’s on-site café (ooh errr) and spent some time trying to figure out what to write in the card I wanted to give to Phil. My roomies @yikesola, @ahappydnp and @calvinahobbes arrived a little later and we checked into the flat, and basically hung out and chatted until it was time to head to registration. Which was a good decision as the line was super small on Friday night. Gotta say, the feeling of seeing Phil so big and so central on all the banners and posters for the con made me feel so proud of him. As other people have mentioned, there was some – curiosity, I guess? Worry? – about whether it would be weird seeing him there doing his first event like this on his own in a *very* long time, but somehow it wasn’t, at any point.

We spotted Martyn checking in further down the hall, which was probably the first moment it all started to Feel Real. We (slightly awkwardly at first in my case lol) met a bunch of online folks in the registration area, and tagged along for a cable car ride over the river (did I mention it was WIMDY) to the O2 arena for dinner. When we all sat down to eat I realised I was sitting opposite two friends from IDB! \o/ We headed back after the meal to hang out and PREPARE for what was about to come.

Saturday - Day 2 - PHIL DAY

We started off by going for breakfast – naturally pancakes – and then headed across to the con. The first event of the day was the comedy panel that Phil was on, so we went across to the panel room early and ended up sitting through the panel before that one, ‘Out and Online’, which was probably – Phil notwithstanding – the better of the two I saw.

During that first panel – and really all morning up to that point – I’d started to feel increasingly nervous. I’d never met Dan or Phil before, and the fact it was happening imminently was suddenly hitting me. Not to mention it was very hot in the panel room that day, and – yeah. By the time the LGBT+ panel finished, I was just like the *screaming internally* meme.

The only other time I’d seen D&P in person with my own eyes was at Interactive Introverts – non-VIP, and I was quite far from the stage, so I couldn’t see them well, y’know? So when the panellists walked in for the comedy panel, I turned around and saw Phil properly in person for the first time. And… wow. I’m sure I hardly need to tell anyone on this forum how attractive he is, but I was just blown away by how beautiful he is in person. He just seems to, like, glow.

And I was absolutely in love with his jacket, which I thought was new at first (it took me a while to place it was the one from the II promo photos). He just looked wonderful, and I went full Heart Eyes Motherfucker as he took his seat with the others. And once I’d actually seen him, somehow I felt less anxious and stressed.

The panel was okay – I wasn’t familiar with the other attendees and I’m not sure theirs is the sort of content I’d necessarily watch – lots of prank vids and the like, but they def had some fans in the room. But it was obvious the majority of the attendees were there for Phil, and I noticed him looking around the room at all the people there for him throughout, making eye contact with lots of people. I’m sure he made brief eye contact a couple of times, which made me go !!!!! It was obvious the panelists were at quite different stages of their careers, which was a little dissonant sometimes, but also quite sweet – Phil was very encouraging to the younger, more inexperienced members of the panel, which was very lovely. Lucky them to have such a kind senpai.

After that we only had a quick break (mainly to down water after being boiled to death in the panel room) before it was time to get in line for Phil’s meet and greet. The wait for him to arrive was weirdly fast but also interminably long, and I spent most of it panicking about what I was going to say to Actual Phil Lester in a matter of minutes.

But soon enough he arrived, shook hands with the photographer, did a lil hop to wave to everyone in the crowd who was waving at him, and then off we went.

I wasn’t sure what to expect – I’ve had pics before with celebs at conventions, and every con is different in how they handle photos. Some really rush you through, but this one was pretty good, I thought – you had plenty of time to say whatever you wanted to say, or give gifts – I thought we were supposed to leave them in a box somewhere, but no, we were to give them directly to Phil, who had a little table to put them on. Obviously I wanted to give him a hug, too, but would I be too awkward to ask for one once I actually got up there, I wondered?

But as it turned out I needn’t have worried; I could watch people meeting him from where we were in the line, and from the very first person, he opened his arms for a big hug from everyone who went up to meet him. Watching people running into his arms was making me really emotional – he just has such a great connection with his people. You could tell he was happy to be there and liked meeting us all. He took so many cute photos with people. We noticed he had a Sharpie and was signing things, which we hadn’t been told about beforehand, so I hadn’t brought anything special - ended up getting him to sign my con badge as a souvenir.

There were 3 of us, and @yikesola took one for the team and volunteered to go first. I watched how much fun they were having, how easily they chatted and hugged and posed for their cute photo and thought to myself, please don’t be a total buffoon when you go up there…

Soon enough it was my turn. Walking up for these things is always nervewracking and awkward – except this time, once it was time, Phil turned around, looked at me, smiled and opened his arms and I knew it would be okay.

I walked over and hugged him, and he probably had to bend down quite a lot, lol. I reached up over his shoulder to hug him, which meant being on tiptoes, of course; as many people have said in the past, he didn’t let go until you did. He was so gentle. <3 I maybe hugged him for a little longer than I might usually with someone I didn’t know because of it; he just has such comforting and welcoming vibes. And no, before anyone asks, I didn’t notice what he smelled like – we were talking about it after and I don’t think any of us did. I don’t in general unless someone’s wearing reasonably strong perfume/cologne, I don’t think, unless I’m hugging them for a really long time. ANYWAY.

The now-famous jacket (which looked so good!!) was soft AF. I handed over my lil gift – he spotted the chocolate and was pretty happy about that.

I then had a little time to talk to him but, like, how do you condense into a few seconds what someone means to you, how much they’ve helped you or how much you appreciate them? So I ended up going with one of the main reasons I came to love Phil so much as a creator – someone around my age still making such fun content. I don’t mean it like, ‘wow, at your age!!’ lol, which I’m not sure he would have appreciated, more like – when you get to a certain age, people often expect you to leave certain interests and behaviours aside (we see it all the time with these ‘ew people over 30 in fandom?? Gross’ posts), and Phil is still being himself and doing what he wants and not letting that affect him, and I just think that’s really great and it’s meant a lot to me. So we talked about that a bit. He said you should be able to be creative at any age. <3 Talking to him wasn’t like I expected – I don’t know what I expected, really, but I thought he might have more of a – nervous energy, maybe? Or just a bit more – y’know, ‘AmazingPhil’? But no, he was chill and confident and had this ease about him that was so comforting in person. I know he’s an introvert and probably holed up on the couch for a week after meeting all those people (hard same), but he really is so good at talking to people and making them feel at ease; everyone looked so happy walking away from him.

About halfway through the convo I had to work really hard to keep my brain on track and not just descend into babbling nonsense because he was looking me in the eye and listening attentively and bruh!!! That is … a hell of a thing! Not only is he so beautiful, but he really listens, and cares about what you’re saying, and is actually interested and not just going ‘uh huh, uh huh …’ like other celebs can do. His expression and demeanour was so friendly and open and welcoming, and honestly I just felt like I could talk to him for hours.

We then posed for the official photo they took, and hugged for it – when I’ve had other photo ops in the past where I’m standing close to the person I’ve been prone to nervous giggling, but this time I felt really relaxed and happy.

And that was it! I reluctantly said goodbye and headed off and was so flustered I a) forgot my little card to collect my photo, the guy had to chase after me, though it looked like everyone was doing that because they were on cloud 9, and b) picked up someone else’s sequin Dan bag from the bag pile. (Which I immediately noticed because I had a keychain and pin on mine, but I mean they *are* identical.) We went to get food and download our photos and watch all the videos we took. Even though I now had pics, I still almost couldn’t believe it was actually real.

And, wow. We were just floating for the rest of the day. It was such a wonderful, positive experience and I’m so glad it worked out that I was able to meet Phil. I didn’t think I could love him more but after that day I definitely did. Obviously, because it’s me, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I said to him and how I said it and was it the right thing and did I say it right and lejslkdjkjfkdhks, but at the end of the day he was lovely, I said more or less what I wanted to say (of course there’s more I’d have wanted to say, but there’s never enough time), and it went wonderfully well. So I really shouldn’t worry too much.

We paid a quick visit to the AP shop booth in the Expo Hall – they didn’t have a ton of stuff but they had all the t-shirts (I think it was just all the t-shirts, corgi jumper, corgi keychains, glitch hoodie), so I bought the yellow Try New Things shirt from Sarah. (And got a free pixel Phil sticker; they really want to get rid of those huh)

The only other Phil-event for the day was his appearance at the Night of Awesome that evening, so we went along for that. Apparently the theme of the evening was ‘collaboration’, so most of the performers didn’t appear by themselves aside from a couple of music acts. But it quickly descended into madness – most of the performances were some sort of challenge which involved the loser getting a pie to the face or gunged – i.e. perfect Saturday night entertainment if you’re ten. So maybe it was more aimed at kids, I thought, until one of the music acts started swearing up a STORM and a load of horrified parents started dragging their kids out while I almost died trying not to laugh. There was a lot of TikTok stuff, but the animators challenge was pretty good and a couple of the music acts were great.

You probably read about the guy who crashed the performance to make an offensive anti-trans joke and then got chased out by security … when I figured out who it was later I wasn’t surprised, he’s done stupider shit in the past, but Vidcon didn’t react very well to it right away. Throughout the event I generally thought security and staff were very good, but they really dropped the ball on this. The music act gamely carried on though, as did a number of other acts after them, and *just* as everyone had pretty much lost the will to live, Phil randomly appeared on stage with Kian and JC (…no, me neither) along with a science Youtuber. Yay! I thought his bit was really cute; kind of random but that made sense when he explained the original plan had gone awry shortly before the show started. He was *so* into it and I thought it was so sweet how, again, he kept looking for his people in the crowd. He was so confident on stage and even when the stuff he was being asked to do was so random and weird he just owned it, went for it and made it funny. Thomas Sanders came on after science!Phil to do a very wholesome set which kind of saved the evening, lol.

And that was the end of Phil day! Naturally we had to order Domino’s in the evening after our emotional and intense day (and to recover from whatever tf most of that concert was). I feel like I’ve become some sort of addict, and now the rest of my existence will be sad and grey until I can hug Phil again (which might well be never). I have peaked. I also remembered what I like so much about (good) conventions; being with your people and feeling so free to express yourself and what you love - between the phannies and the fanders there were so many pride flags, and so many people walking around wearing merch. (Also it was the first con I’d ever been to where there were no cosplayers! Which is unsurprising given it’s youtube fandom, but still – new experience.)

Sunday - Day 3

Sunday we slept in after staying up until like 3am chatting (whoops), so I missed jacksepticeye’s panel but I did get to the Buzzfeed Unsolved/Watcher one, which was really funny. I wish I’d gotten to meet the boys but what can you do. I also went to the Expo Hall and met PJ (who was very nice, and friendly!! But had exactly that nervous energy I was talking about earlier, which I’m more accustomed to when I meet celebs at cons; Phil really is something special), and bought a few enamel pins, because ENAMEL PINS.

And then … the worst bit of any con, people started to leave. :( My 3 roomies left first, which was the worst bit of the weekend. I ended up tagging along with some twitter friends to get coffee, and we ended up sitting around for like 3 hours outside the cloakroom because no one wanted to leave.

We found out about Dan’s half marathon during this time, and I know people have this view of phannies like we’re all obsessive, invasive weirdos who just want to find out things for – I dunno, clout? But honestly everyone there was so proud of him and just like the whole weekend, it was great to be with people who understood. Like, I can hardly tell a co-worker that a youtuber I follow ran a marathon, they’d be like - okay, and…? So it was nice to sit there and sort of – celebrate it, in our own lil way.

We all parted ways on the train - I went back to my friend’s and watched Phil’s liveshow there, which was really a perfect way to end the weekend. I’m glad it sounded like he had such a nice time at Vidcon. Someone tweeted about him seeing all the people who had come to see just him and how excited they were to see him, and that warmed my heart. And hopefully his too.

The next day I returned to the Excel to have pizza lunch with the last two friends who were still in town, which really helped with the post-con blues, and then it really was it. Since then I’ve been hanging out at my friend’s flat and taking a couple of trips out to various shops or whatever, but I’ve mostly been tired and lazy and catching up on sleep a bit.

As I mentioned, I’m now a filthy addict. I will be … keeping an eye on future vidcons/events, for sure. >_> And I might be back in London in April, maybe. >_> many thoughts head full

#vidcon ldn #phil #long post #*announcement moose* i love phil

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japanessie · 5 years ago

Text

MY FIRST STORY & Saitama Super Arena capacity

I received this question on Twitter regarding the attendance at MFS TamaAri Tour Final. I think it would be interesting to share with my readers especially for those who might aspire to enter the showbiz.

Disclaimer: Answers were based on my personal observations as a longtime music fan. Also, I used ONE OK ROCK as a comparison because that's what my readers are familiar with. Peace everyone 😊

Question:

So I just read that MFS TamaAri was 18000 tickets? Normally I know the venue has a much larger capacity, so why is that? Are they taking it safely? And do you know what’s more important to secure bigger venues? Is it to sold out or the number of tickets you had there? Just trying to understand if this was necessary to get to Tokyo Dome. It just kinda makes me sad because they deserve so much!

I always just assumed that it’s 37000, didn’t know there was two modes, any idea on what’s the difference and why they went with arena mode instead of stadium.

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MFS held an “arena" tour NOT “stadium" tour

First of all, from the start, MFS had declared their Kobe World Hall & Saitama Super Arena dates as “ARENA Tour". They never said “stadium". So, it only made sense that they booked Saitama Super Arena in its arena mode.

Based on MFS' proposed seating plan, they were honest from the start that they were NOT aiming for >30000 capacity. Just look at how small the space they allocated for standing spectators. The rest were all seated. They were pretty realistic about their crowd attracting capability & current limitations. They knew they were not OOR who could easily dedicate the entire floor area for standing spectators.

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Saitama Super Arena was designed to be mechanically multi-sized to suit multiple purposes

Look at the “Stadium vs Arena” diagrams from the venue's official website.

Saitama Super Arena does have TWO modes i.e "stadium" and "arena". It is a multi-purpose venue which means it can be used for concerts, sports events, exhibitions, death memorials (if you want) etc. Thus, to serve the different functions, it was designed in such a manner.

What is meant with max capacity of 37000 pax is the entire fixed seats taken up PLUS the maximum additional seating that the floor area can take, which is more suited for sports events where a smaller space for the athletes/performers is needed e.g. boxing, wrestling etc. For sports such as soccer or baseball, the floor area obviously will not be used for seatings.

Stadium vs Arena configuration

Stadium = the full length space with seats all around facing the centre.

Arena = the space is partially blocked off reducing the seats & floor area.

Stadium Mode

Let's look at a typical concert stage end side configuration.

1. A chunk of the space is already taken up by the stage. Meaning the seated area behind the stage is already unusable for the spectators. Then, some artists have a runway or even multiple runways extending into the floor area. To my eyes, at least 1/4 or even 1/3 of the space is already reduced. Then, when you put designated seats on the arena floor, the number of people will be reduced even more because chairs take up more floor space per person than a free-standing area.

Arena Mode

How about centre stage configuration to maximize the viewing?

Here is an example of a centre stage from KOBUKURO LIVE TOUR 2015 at Saitama Super Arena. Even with this configuration and a more packed crowd than MY FIRST STORY, this only packed in 21000 spectators.

http://music.emtg.jp/liveReport/20150806213e27519

For safety reason, you can’t pack in more people than the officially declared maximum capacity

I'm not sure how the Law is in Japan or what legal obligations that the management of Saitama Super Arena needs to comply. However, generally, it concerns evacuating people safely and quickly in the case of fire or any disaster.

--------------------------------------------------

However, it looked like MFS didn't quite reach the number they were originally aiming for.

Got to be honest, there was a big block of unused seats at the end of the arena. The staff covered it with a huge piece of cloth. There was also some rather generous spaces around the floor seating area. They are not yet at OOR level who can easily attract >30000 crowd. But overall, it was good enough and not disastrous like the Shanghai show (unwise choice of venue that one... sorry my boys).

Photo by Taka Tallman

The difference of the Final outcome compared to the Original plan based on the official photo.

Why was it announced as "Sold Out"?

1. Logistics reason.

They needed to finalize the layout of the seatings and the number of chairs they actually needed. If they kept the ticket sales open to the performance day, it would be difficult for the staff to arrange the overall seated / standing areas. Notice how they often announced on-the-day tickets (toujitsuken) for their free standing Livehouse shows but not for Halls and Arenas. It's easy to squeeze in free standing audience as long as it is safe enough.

2. They very likely had already reached the sales target to cover the cost of the concert.

If you already sold out the quantity you needed to make profits, then it's not a lie to declare it that way. "Yeah, we sold out!". MFS is blessed to be an indie band because the money they earn mainly goes to them. Well, looking at the luxuries MFS members pampered themselves with (a huge rehearsal studio, holidays abroad, head-to-toe designer fashion etc), these guys made A LOT.

Despite playing to smaller crowds and playing less shows per year, MFS members are able to live comfortably at a more leisurely pace. Compare that to the major-label-and-talent-agency-tied OOR who certainly sell more in quantity but is being worked to death by their management with every Tour to make $$$!

3. In showbiz, image is everything.

Notice how once an actor won an Oscar, his publicity promo will always attach the term “Oscar winner (insert name)" with almost every appearance? Because it gives “value" to his name! Even if you only got nominated, being known as “Oscar-nominated actor" elevates your status.

It's the same with music artists. Saying “the band held a Sold-Out show at (insert a place)" gives “value" to your resume. The general public rarely ask the numbers or even question it.

Not only MFS, even OOR plays the same publicity game. For example, their Nagisaen show has always been hailed as attracting >100000 people. What is being downplayed is it was >100000 people over TWO days. Meaning >50000 pax per day and many of them actually went to BOTH days. But still, saying >100000 sounds better and it's not like they're lying. It's technically correct. So MFS saying, “Thank you. We sold out!" is technically true if they had passed their profit threshold. Anything extra is a bonus 😊.

Why still went for such a huge venue even though their fanbase still has not reached that level?

Just a basic management strategy no matter what field you’re in. Once you set a big target, you need to measure your achievement from time to time. They want to do Tokyo Dome. So, they need to see how far they can reach and what to plan to achieve it. With the Nippon Budokan, they knew that they could do 12000 pax. With Makuhari Messe and Yokohama Arena, they knew that 18000 figure was in their hands. With Saitama Super Arena, they very likely wanted to see if they could reach more than 20000. Now that MFS knew 20000 is a figure they need to still work on, they can plan from now what to do next. My prediction, there is a HUGE chance that the Tokyo Dome show would be fully or mostly seated.

What’s more important to secure bigger venues? Is it to be sold out or the number of tickets?

Strictly from the economic point of view, the number of tickets you can sell is more important. You'd want to earn enough to recoup your investment first & foremost. The venues don't care if your event is sold out or not. They just want their money. Being “sold out" is more for the artist's image.

Every artist has their own sales threshold of what they can call “sold out". MFS put limited standing tickets from the start which means they have a lower “sold out" threshold compared to a bigger band like OOR who allocates a lot more standing tickets.

The bigger your name, the higher the stake. I still remember when the late King of Pop Michael Jackson was deemed a failure for selling “only" around 45000 tickets for a stadium concert in the UK back in the late 90s.

So, was MFS playing it safe with Saitama Super Arena?

Nope.

On the contrary, they were daring themselves to take the risk in order to know where they are at. But hey, ANY indie artist in the world would KILL to have 18000 people per night. It’s awesome that MFS could reach that number as an independent band.

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My 2 cents

Why did MFS struggle a bit to fill up Saitama Super Arena?

To me it still boils down to one thing. Their archrival ONE OK ROCK.

This had been the first time ever that MFS was doing a major Tour head to head against OOR. They even had a few clashing dates!

* (Remember that Summer Sonic Tokyo (MFS) vs Osaka (OOR) incident? A small crowd in Tokyo vs a packed crowd in Osaka?）

OOR by Julen Photo

For the most part, getting the majority of their fans from OOR fandom has been a huge blessing for MFS. But we must take note that many of them still keep OOR as their main band and thus, are more likely to spend their money on the OOR Tour instead. Not to mention that OOR ticket & merch prices are higher.

MFS hardcore fans are still way smaller and probably will never top OOR, which is fine to me (seriously, I don’t want MFS to compromise their music like OOR did 😑 ). However, I do believe that the day will come when MFS can attract 30000 crowd in one show but it will take more time for that to happen.

But comparing it to OOR, it wasn’t too bad even though it is still a long way to go :-)

Someday MFS will be able to pack in fully standing crowds on the floor 😃 !

What MFS needs to do?

1. Keep on with their current strategy of reaching out and expanding to fans outside of the OOR crowd. Keep on collaborating, guys!

2. I personally hope that the little darling Hiroki can continue being careful with anything that comes out of his mouth so as not to make another faux pas e.g that misunderstood MC at Summer Sonic (OOR fans accused him of jealousy towards Taka again because of it... oops 🙈), that "kiddy tantrum" at Storyteller Tour Osaka (your warped sense of humour may not necessarily work outside of your band & crew, Hiro 😑). Watching him in the later part of 2019, I do feel Hiro had learned a bit from it all though.

3. Continue strengthening the bond with the existing fans. It’s important to cherish their loyalty. I had talked before about the benefit of keeping your core fans. Thankfully, MFS is doing it right in this area. Bringing awareness to ALS, dedicating their songs to special selected fans and helping in realizing their dreams. After all, support is a two-way street.

4. Connecting with the younger crowd like they did during the ALONE era with the “university tour” might be a good idea too 🤔. I still remember photos of the members walking through the crowd among the stalls at students’ fairs 😃. That was an exciting time 😊

-----------------------------------------------

So, what do you all think 😃?

#reply #my first story #maifasu #マイファス #one ok rock #oor

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lavenderbones22 · 6 years ago

Text

He’ll Never Love You Like Me- Ben Hardy

‘A lil something with Ben hardy and the songs He'll never love you/Curious by Hayley Kiyoko’

Summary: After a year of hell trying to get over his ex, Ben decides he’s sick of living without her, but unfortunately, she’s with somebody else.

Word Count: 1662

Part 1 of 3.

A/N Written in third person as I thought it was the best way to capture the entire situation.

Let me know what ya’ll think :)

------------------

Him

Ben had been anticipating Summer the entire year. He was desperate to feel the sun on his skin, heat through his veins, alcohol in his system from long days of drinking with his mates.

Ben had been anticipating Summer though, for reasons much more than those superficial things everybody in England was craving. He was anticipating the memories of last Summer, and the one before that and the one before that. In fact, a few Summer's it had been that he had spent with her; three to be exact. He was anticipating the pure heartbreak he was going to feel all over again when all he could think about was her and what they did every Summer, just like he did with every holiday, special event and birthday that had passed the year just gone. But then again, that was nothing new, he always thought about her.

Summer though, would hurt him more than everything else that had happened without her. Last Summer was the last good time they had together before she told him she couldn't do it anymore.

"What do you mean 'you can't do it anymore?'" he had asked her frantically in the middle of the kitchen in the flat they had shared together for two years.

Her beautiful face was screwed up, he could see the thoughts flying through her mind, searching through the mess in it to try and come up with answer for him. But she couldn't and she didn't. Instead she just shook her head in sorrow, grabbed a suitcase she had packed while he was away filming and walked out of the apartment and out of his life.

Ben never cried, or at least he never had in the presence of other people. But over the week that she left, he cried in front of anybody that was around him. She had literally taken his heart out of his chest and thrown it recklessly on the ground like it was a piece of chewing gum that had lost it's taste. And he supposed he had lost his taste in her mouth. He just didn't know why.

He had just started filming 'Bohemian Rhapsody' when she left. Only a few weeks into his new gig, he couldn't believe she would do it to him, she knew how much that role had meant to him.

The cast and crew had only met her a few times and other than the fact that she had left with no real explanation, no one had any bad words to say about her. She was delightful, it was the truth.

He hated her so fucking much for what she had done to him but he loved her so much more.

Rounding out the year, he was used to living without her. It was his apartment that she had walked out of, although she lived there, it was technically his. And once her best friend had come round and collected any things she had left behind, he was free to begin moving on.

So move on he did. The attention he started receiving from females (and males) all around the world once the movie was out made it very easy for him to lose himself between some gorgeous girls legs. And it was easy for a while until it wasn't.

He'd been drinking more this past year, it was what helped him get through every day. Whiskey wasn't his thing, he was more of a vodka guy.

It happened one night when he was cuddled on some girls couch, Sophia was her name...maybe Sarah...whatever. She was kissing his neck, trying for round two but he was distracted and bored. She tried climbing onto his lap, knocking his phone out of his hand in the process. He told her he was tired, leaning to grab his phone from the floor only to see it open to his messages with her.

What the fuck?

He hadn't spoken to her in a year, why would their conversations even be high enough in his text messages to be selected?

The girl was trying desperately to bring his attention back to her but it was a lost cause now. She begged him to sit back down once he stood up, his phone still in his hand. Disbelief.

"I uh, sorry, I gotta go." He locked his phone, grabbed his jacket and abandoned ship.

Once he was home he laid on the couch and read and read and read. He felt himself falling back into his old frame of mind those few months after she left. He knew it wasn't good for his mental health yet he couldn't stop himself.

He got up off the couch, the clock hanging in the living room, the vintage one she had found at a market they went to one Sunday, it read 2:13am.

"Fucking hell," he sighed at yet another memory. Pouring himself a shot of vodka, then another smaller one, he threw them back and meandered to his bedroom.

He'd gotten a new bed since she'd been gone. He couldn't bare the thought of sleeping in the same one they had made love in more times than he even had the brain capacity to remember. He also couldn't bare having any of these girls he'd met lying where she used to. The thought alone made him sick. He remembered the way she would lay on his bare chest after they'd had sex and play with his fingertips, biting her lip.

As he lay in bed, his phone on charge at only 2% forcing him to leave it alone, he wondered if she was with anyone. Who was loving her now? Who was making her feel the way he used to make her feel? Who got to be on the receiving end of the smile she gave that always lit up a room?

He wondered if he would be leaving marks on her neck the way he used to. If he thought it was as entertaining as he did to watch her frantically trying to cover them up with her makeup before she went off to the job she didn't like all that much.

He wondered if she'd finally left that job.

But he mostly wondered how he was going to get her back.

Her

She normally loved watching television. The Real Housewives, Ellen, NCIS, bring it all on. But lately, lately she found herself shying further away from it.

Her boyfriend had asked her why. "We never just chill out on the couch watching telly anymore," he had said one afternoon when she decided to clean out her wardrobe instead of watching a movie.

"Don't really feel like it," she had replied. It was the truth, she wasn't lying.

She didn't really feel like watching television where every ad break there was a promo for her ex boyfriend's blockbuster movie. She didn't really feel like wanting to cry every time his handsome face came onto her screen. She didn't really feel like explaining all of this to her current boyfriend. Her current boyfriend who she was meant to love, but sorta, kinda, didn't. No, not really.

She'd experienced love and she knew what it felt like.

Her heart rate would quicken the second her eyes laid on him.

Her breath would hitch when he would speak to her.

She would miss him the second he was gone.

She felt none of these things when she was with this new guy. Sure, he was nice and he was very good looking. But he didn't make her sweat, giggle with excitement or send shivers down her spine.

It was different with this guy. When she looked at him, he'd be looking out the window. When she looked at Ben, he was already watching her; his eyes were always on her whenever she was around him.

She wanted him back and she had for a while now. But she was stuck in a relationship she didn't really want to be in. One she kind of fell in like you would when walking through a puddle and finding it to be deeper than you first thought. It'd been four months now that she'd been with him, she had no idea how she'd let the time go by so quickly.

She missed so much about Ben. His laugh, the way he would hold her, make her feel, kiss her, fuck her. Softly when she wanted, holding her like she would break in his arms. Hard, when she would beg or when the mood would strike them both.

She hadn't had good sex in a year.

Laying in bed one night, her boyfriend snoring loudly beside her, she couldn't sleep so she wandered downstairs. He stayed over most nights and she hated it because she barely got any sleep. She was used to functioning on five hours every night now.

She checked the time on her phone in her hand. 2:13am.

She couldn't stop thinking about Ben. He had been on her mind so much more than usual lately. Her heart hurt to think too much into what actually happened when they broke up. It hurt to think of where they would be now if they hadn't.

She hadn't told him she'd found the Tiffany's box in his underwear drawer.

She hadn't told him that was why she left.

She wasn't ready to marry him. She loved him, that wasn't a question. But marriage, that was a huge step and she wasn't even sure she had even wanted to ever get married. To anyone.

Turning on the television, lowering the volume to five, she started blankly at the infomercials playing and watched the time click over on her phone. She found herself re-reading her messages with Ben. It was impossible to read all of them because there were thousands over the three years they had spent together.

It was the vibration in her hand that startled her, the curser in the messages that moved right back to the top. A message from Ben.

'He'll never love you like me."

#ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy fanfic #ben hardy smut #queen fanfic #for anon #inbox open #taking requests #fanfiction

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singing-and-humming · 6 years ago

Text

Under My Skin

Written for the @cloudfiveclub writting challenge. I’m so sorry for the delay.

I really don’t know what i went for there, i don’t really like it but it’s waaaaay too late for me to rewrite it so…

Désolée

Title from Ben l’Oncle Soul - I’ve got you under my skin (Frank Sinatra cover)

I’d tried so not to give in

I said to myself this affair never will go so well

But why should I try to resist when baby I know so well

I’ve got you under my skin

You’ve been working on the tour for a few weeks but you still not believe it. You started being serious about photography only a few years ago but that was enough to get noticed by some artists. It was one of them that recommended you to Clara when she was looking for a photographer to document CNCO’s new World Tour. You still had a part-time day job when the call came but you couldn’t let this opportunity pass so you took some days off and flew to Miami to meet the team. When you arrive you get explain what is expected of the person filling the position and they give you more details about the contract.

You also got asked to take some pictures and record some footage to see how you’d work around them. You tried your best not to be in their way too much but asked each of the boys to pose for a few portraits. Later that day, you got dinner with the team where you get to know each other a bit. Everyone seemed so nice, you were getting even more more anxious to get the job.

The “trial” must have gone over well because a week later you got the call announcing that you were hired.

—

At the very beginning, you spent a good amount of time with the PR team to make sure you get whatever would appeal most to the fans. They love the candid pictures you released from when they’re rehearsing or just goofing around. You made a compilation of the band just sleeping wherever they can. Everyone always jokes that Zabdiel is the sleepy one but really, you often stumble onto one in every quiet place they can find. The amount of time you found Chris asleep, his head on someone’s shoulder or lap, is getting ridiculous.

You’re often with them in the van, or the break-rooms, following them during soundchecks or in the studio. You get a lot of footage of them writing and recording new music but you have to keep it under wraps until some of them actually get released.

You hang out with pretty much everyone, being the boys or the staff, in any combination but you make sure to never be alone with Christopher.

You get that he probably thinks that you have a problem with him or that you simply don’t like him when, in fact, it’s the opposite. Christopher was your favorite band member when you were still just a regular fan, but you truly expected your opinion of him to change when you’d get to discover his private persona. However, you soon realized that he was always genuine in his interactions with others and that was you saw before was exactly who he actually is, a sweet, funny, smart and reliable man.

Though, what was also true was his flirtatious moments. You have experienced it first hand, starting with that first dinner. He didn’t even tried to be subtle about it and easily brushed off any of the teasing remarks from the crew. In the following days, he has asked you to go out for coffee or some food on several occasion but you always found an excuse to refuse.

The truth is that you were tempted to respond to his advances but you can’t get out of your head that getting involved with someone from work wouldn’t be a good idea for now. The fact that he is a public figure is also a major obstacle to you. You know that he isn’t supposed to be openly in a relationship, so you don’t know if you’ll be able to handle the hiding and seeing continuing to flirt with other women to not arouse suspicion or just because it’s in his nature.

You know that you are overthinking it and whatever might happen between you wouldn’t necessarily be serious but you’ve seen the comment of fans whenever one of the boys was suspected to date someone. You have no doubt that they’re not going to find you good enough for him.

–

It’s been two months since you started working for CNCO. In all this time, you’ve already been to 12 countries. You didn’t expect the kind of exhaustion travelling could bring/cause.

That day, being a somewhat functioning human being a little harder for you. Not for any other reason that you missed your friends and family. The fact that you didn’t have a place to settle is starting to sink in as well. You had to live out of your suitcase and be ready to work as soon as you get them down. You know this is what you signed up for but even all the great opportunities couldn’t prevent you from being homesick.

You are seated in a corner waiting for the guys to finish getting dressed to go on a promo event. Chris is the first one to exit the dressing room. He finds you crumpled in a sofa, catching up on loved ones’ life on Facebook. Not a lot has happened, or nothing too important; you’ve haven’t been going for that long but still, it makes you feel closer to them.

You quickly wipe a tear that escaped your eyes as Christopher approach, a concerned expression on his face. He might seem like he’s always goofing off but you saw him checking on people on several occasions, making sure they were alright and even once bring water to some overworked crew member on the verge of passing out.

“Y/N, are you ok? What happened?” he asks you, squatting down before you, putting a hand on you knee.

“Nothing. I’m just feeling homesick, it’ll pass, don’t worry.

- Oh, I get it. It happens to all of us. It’s hard to be far from everyone but we always try to remember that we’re blessed to do what we love. We have to stay strong for our family, for the people that believe in us. We have to enjoy each day because we don’t know how long it’s going to last.”

You nod your head showing your assent so he continues.

“It’s not just words when I say that this whole team is family. They’ll never replace your but everyone here is important and knows that they can go to anyone to talk. I hope you know that this apply to you too.We might not be very close but I’m here for you if you need me.”

His hand comes up to your face to wipe another traitorous tear before returning to you leg.

You stay quiet, reflecting what he just said. Obviously, you know that what you were feeling was going to pass but it felt good to get some encouragement from someone that has to deal with the same thing and for a longer period of time. You look up to thank him and got caught into his big brown eyes. His had such a gentle look on his face, smiling softly at you, making you feel a pinch in your heart. How can you accept the comfort from him when you don’t think you deserve it from him.

You hear someone call your name so you get up to join them to go to join them but you come not long after back because you forgot your drink on the table. Zabdiel must have finished getting ready in the meantime because you overhear the conversation between the two men.

“Did you talk to her? Asked Zabdiel.

- Not really. It wasn’t the right time.

- It’s been weeks Chris, you should talk so you’ll know where you stand. It’s starting to get awkward for us and I don’t like to see you like that.

- I know, Zabdi but she was feeling sad, I wasn’t about to bring out whatever problem she has with me on top. I can wait. It’s not like we can’t still do our job or like we don’t talk at all.

- I guess. But you should solve it as soon as you can. If she can’t get past her issues with you I don’t know how it’s going to work out long term.

- I’m not about to make her lose her job because we don’t joke around! Not everyone has to like me, I mean I know that I can be a bit much sometimes.”

“You know that he’s never going to do it, right?”. You jumped in surprise from Richard appearing behind you.

“I’m sorry what?

- He’s not going to ask you why you’re avoiding him. He’s just not a confrational guy. He’d rather stay away than make you uncomfortable, he explains, so you better talk to him and resolve whatever issue you have with him.”

You decide to take his advice and talk to Christopher after breakfast the same day. You catch him on his way to his room.

“ Christopher, can we talk for second?

- Sure. What is going on?

- I wanted to apologize to you.

- About what?

- Com’on you know! I have been acting distant and towards you and I wanted to make sure you knew that it wasn’t your fault.

- Umm okay?

- I have some issue that I shouldn’t have taken on you. I am sorry if I made you feel like it’s was because of something or that i didn’t appreciate you, because i do. So I promise to get over myself and stop acting like a lunatic towards you”, you attempt to explain.

“You don’t need to say sorry. If i make you uncomfortable for any reason you shouldn’t have to force yourself to change for me. I’ll be fine.

- I won’t be forcing to anything. I actually wasn’t behaving like myself around you and…

- Stop! Don’t worry about it. What about we forget everything and start over?” he suggests.

You look at him confused about how can this man be real. He just accepted your half-assed apology and decided to give you a second chance to act like a decent human being. He holds out his hand for you to shake. When you do, he starts walking again and uses his grip on your hand to drag you behind him. “Let’s go! We’re need to buy some snacks for the bus drive!”

After that you make an effort to be more friendly like you are with the rest of the team, not that it is particularly difficult. You never could stop answering to any of his smile. It kind of starts to show on the pictures you take of Chris. You have way more of goofing around or doing silly poses which are your favorites.

—

It is finally your birthday. You’ve been asked when it was when you first arrived but you didn’t think anyone would actually remember it. You get down to the hotel’s dining room only to find most of the crew waiting for you, even if some of them are half asleep on the table. Erick is the first one to give you a hug and presents you with a paper crown. It is obviously home-made with a lot of messages written on it.

“It is your birthday card so don’t lose your crown, reina!” he warns you before placing it on you head.

It is a touching attention that starts to get you emotional. You’re so grateful that they remembered it let alone plan a “surprise party”. You usually don’t make a fuss about your birthday, you don’t even celebrate it every year, but it’s always nice to get some attention from time to time. Everyone got you nice gifts, some of them pitching in to buy something more expensive.

Christopher is the last one to offer his gift. As you guessed it from the simple shape, it is a book. The title sounds vaguely familiar. Wait, was it…? You turn it to read the synopsis at the back. It really was.

“Un libro? en serio? Chris, if you didn’t have any idea what to give her, we could have bought something together”, says Erick.

“No it’s ok. I told him I wanted read this one.”

You didn’t feel like sharing why this book was important to you. Some time ago, you were talking about your childhood and you mentioned that your late grandmother used to read a book to you pretty often. You couldn’t recall its name but you shared with him whatever details you could retained about it. No one from your family knew what it was and you had pretty much gave up on finding it again. The fact that Christopher had recalled this conversation and that he would hunt down the book for you is astonishing.

This is making you realise that he might be more serious that you thought. The gift was certainly the cheapest you have received but he had spent more thought and certainly more time to find something meaningful to you.

You hug him to thank him and to hide the emotions that are surely showing on your, in shoulder.

“Is it really okay? I know it’s not much.

- Yes, it is. It’s perfect”, you reassure him. He tightened his hold on you for a second before releasing you.

After that, you start to lower your defense a bit more. He doesn’t really flirt anymore, or at least it doesn’t to do it with the same intensity ; you’ll still get the odd compliments sometimes, a hug or even a brush of his hands on your arm but it all seem more natural.

You get to spend more and more one on one time with him, just watching funny videos on youtube, jamming to old rock songs. You ask for his opinion on the edits you make because you like that he isn’t afraid to be honest about it and didn’t hesitate to tell you when he doesn’t like it or when something could be improved.

One evening, you notice him starting to pace the room. You stop what you’re doing because it wasn’t like the Ecuadorian to get nervous about trivialities so you know that something might be wrong.

“Christopher, what is going on?

- Nada, no te preocupes. No! No es nada, tengo algo que pedirte pero no sé si es una buena idea.

- You know that you can ask me anything. I will tell you if I don’t like it”, you tried to reassure him.

He sits next to you and clear his throat.

“ Would you like to go on a date with me?” He finally asks you, anchoring his eyes to yours.

He must catch your hesitation in it, because he tries to redraw what he said.

You stop him by laying your hand on his.

You explain to him your reservations and that you still need a bit a time to think.

He obviously understands and decides to give you some space. The team notices and thinks that you are back on your bullshit or that the both of you got into a fight. They get worried that you will eventually leave if you couldn’t fix whatever is happening between the two of you. Christopher succeeds in convincing everyone that it was nothing, just that you were a bit tired and that he decided to not impose his hyperactive loud self to you so you could get some rest.

Even though, you continue to see him every day, you start to miss him and got to the conclusion that he really got under your skin and there is nothing you could do to change that. He’s definitely not perfect so you do get annoyed quite often but his character N made up for it. In a short amount of time, he became such an important person in your life and you weren’t convinced that you wanted it to be any different. Was a relationship with him worth possibility of losing everything though? You’re not delusional about the fact that if you get involved and it goes wrong that the situation could become so complicated that you’ll have to leave.

You find him in a meeting room. He doesn’t even notice you’re arrival due to the fact that he’s engrossed into whatever he’s writing. Probably a new song. You lean against the door-frame and you can’t help but smile knowing that he will sing it to you first when he finishes, like he always does.

And just like that you knew what to do. You couldn’t believe how long it took it to reach that conclusion but was it really a decision or simply an evidence.

He really got under your skin.

Christopher finally notices your presence in the room and gives you a curious look.

Your answer by locking the door behind you and marching towards him.

I’d sacrifice anything come what might

For the sake of having you near

In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night

And repeats, repeats in my ear

Don’t you know little fool

You never can win

Use your mentality, wake up to reality

But each time that I do just the thought of you

Makes me stop before I begin

‘Cause I’ve got you under my skin

#i am so sorry i wrote this #cnco #christopher velez #cloudfiveclubwc #my writing

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maevefiction · 6 years ago

Text

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 52

Tom and I were able to spend just over two weeks together alone with Henry, and we’d quickly become a well-oiled machine. It was seamless, really…which made me wonder how I was going to function when he left on March 1st for Kong promo. I cried, and so did Tom as he was leaving, a puzzled Henry in my arms looking back and forth between us during our final hug goodbye. He’d be returning to London on the 13th, and I made sure to cross every single day off on the calendar before I ate breakfast because nothing makes you lose track of time more than when you’re caring for an infant while thoroughly sleep deprived and missing your partner so badly it actually aches.

All in all I thought I was handling things well, though there were days when breakfast was the only real meal I ate and showering was such a rare and special treat that if I actually took one two days in a row I almost felt guilty. There was one day I managed to shower and eat three meals within a 24-hour period and man, I felt like I’d conquered the Kingdom of Domesticity, lemme tell ya. Alongside the chaos and the exhaustion, though, there were countless moments of joy and discovery as Henry and I got to know each other as separate entities. I’d already begun naming objects during playtime and while flipping through picture books, and, honestly, I blathered on with such constancy that I figured the first discernible sound he’d make would be ‘shh’. Every night we’d sit together in the nursery room rocker and I’d read to him, mostly rudimentary level children’s stories. Skippyjon Jones always seemed to get him amped up the most, his little arms waving as I voiced each character accordingly, sometimes to the point where I’d be laughing too hard to continue. And, of course, I sang. I sang when he was fussy, which wasn’t often, I sang when I changed his diapers, I sang during bath time, I sang when he nursed, and I sang as I rocked him to sleep. Actual songs, songs I made up on the fly, lullabies, humming classical tunes…he appeared to enjoy it, and the day before Tom was due home he flashed me a great big gummy smile from his bouncy seat when I added dancing to my rendition of Melanie’s ‘Brand New Key’. Despite all official guidance suggesting babies were only capable of smiling reflexively until they were nearly at the the two-month-old mark or later, Henry’s was genuine. I know this because I spent a good portion of that particular day testing my theory, and every time I sang that damn song and danced like a fool, there it was. I thought about Skyping Tom in order to share my super-scientific findings, but decided it was only one more day until he’d be able to see it in person…also, I was dying to see what would happen if he sang it and danced as well.

Tom’s flight was scheduled to land at six PM, which meant he’d probably be rolling in around seven-thirty at the earliest. Henry typically nursed every two or three hours, sleeping in between at nighttime and napping here and there during the day. That evening I’d tucked him in at six-thirty and turned on the baby monitor, fully intending to squeeze in a snack and a shower before Tom got home, but then I made the grievous error of sitting down in the rocker for a brief spell just to make sure that Henry was really and truly out before I left the room, because I’d learned the hard way that sometimes he’d pop awake. Nothing like having shampoo in your hair when your kiddo starts crying in the adjoining room, you know?

I must have dozed off immediately, because the next thing I knew I was dreaming that Tom was saying my name, and the dream was so vivid that I could actually feel his hand on my shoulder, shaking me gently. Dream me tipped her head to the left to nuzzle dream Tom’s hand, and when the fingers of the hand grasped the back of my neck and the thumb stroked the magic spot behind my ear I inhaled sharply, catching his scent as I did so. My eyes flew open, and there he was, sitting on the ottoman in front of me. I reached up to grab his wrist, finding it warm to the touch which reassured me that I hadn’t lost my damn mind. A long, deep, delighted sigh from me broke the silence.

“You’re real. You’re back. I missed you. So, so much. I thought I was dreaming, you know, but there you fucking are and…”

He cut me off with a kiss, his tongue parting my lips and thrusting into my mouth in order to tousle with mine. We hadn’t been intimate since before Henry was born, given that I was technically on the disabled list until after my six-week checkup. It hadn’t been an issue for me, really, because I’d still been bleeding rather heavily right up until the day after Tom left. The bleeding had ceased completely by the 5th, but prior to this scenario I hadn’t even felt a tingle of desire since giving birth. Nothing. Nada. Deadsville. With a combination his scent and a smooch it was resurrected, back from the beyond, good to go, and ready to rock times infinity. I reciprocated, first sucking on his tongue, then his lip, then continued to devour him until we had to break to breathe. He stared into my eyes, dazed and panting, his left hand slipping under the bottom of my robe and up my thigh, coming to rest between my legs, a throaty ‘oh’ escaping him as his fingers brushed my panties and he realized I wasn’t wearing a pad. When I propelled my hips forward against his hand he groaned, then began to rub my mound, circling slowly. As the cotton grew damp, his eyes rolled back into his head briefly, then focused on me again…they were impossibly full of want, and I bit my lip. He shook his head, dutifully trying to clear it and pull himself back from the brink.

“Maude. I’m so sorry. I know perfectly well that you can’t…I have no idea what I was thinking.”

I exhaled through pursed lips, my chest heaving. “I’m fine. Wait, that’s not what I meant to say. What I meant to say is that I am on fucking fire…”

He whined, a low and thoroughly devastating sound. “May I…I…taste you? Make you come? Please? I can smell you and it’s…I…I can’t…I need to…”

I lifted my hips off the seat to signal that fuck yeah, yes you can, get these things off me but it turned out that wasn’t necessary because he ripped my underwear clean off as if the fabric was a piece of ancient, crumbling parchment. He slid off the ottoman and down onto his knees, lifting my legs in the process.

“Feet. Shoulders. Now. Please.”

It was then that I remembered that hello, a baby recently popped out of there and your husband hasn’t seen this part of you at close range since then and what if it’s different and/or totally unappealing? I hesitated, and he nipped the inside of my right thigh before placing my feet where he wanted them on his own, then dove right in, licking a stripe from my asshole up to my clit, then back down and up again and again, finally taking the nub between his teeth to shake it gently before closing his mouth around it and sucking rhythmically. I had to slap my hand over my own mouth to keep from screaming as I humped his face until I came. He kept going, reducing his suction just enough to leave me on the edge, and I felt the tip of his finger at my entrance. Still not ceasing his ministrations, he peered up at me and I nodded. In it went, inching its way up to my G-spot. He stroked back and forth, round and round, until I began to swivel my hips in the opposite direction. After adding a second digit he began to slide them in and out ever-so-slowly, gradually increasing the speed until the sliding became thrusting, and as I felt another orgasm was imminent I covered the hand already over my mouth with my other one, just in case.

My muffled screams were accompanied by his moans, almost entirely suppressed by my flesh. He stopped sucking completely, instead navigating every fold and crevice with his tongue and waiting for me to apply pressure to his forehead before he pulled his fingers out and his head away. He shifted and lowered my legs back to a resting position in order to rise up so he was vertical, though still on his knees. The sight of his face slick and glossy, eyes narrowed as he inhaled and exhaled rapidly through his nose was so intensely arousing that I leaned forward, grabbed him by his white T-shirt and pulled him in for another kiss…a sloppy, noisy wet one that assured me that if nothing else, my flavor hadn’t changed whatsoever. The rocker began pitching forward and back with more force that it had while he was eating me out, and the cause, I established, was Tom humping the seat cushion. I reached between us and began to unbutton and unzip his jeans, but he stopped me in my tracks, fingers wrapping around my wrists and shifting them to the side as he cut short our kiss, shaking his head back and forth as he moved away.

I growled, then frowned, ready to question his behavior until he stood and held out his hand to help me up. Without a word, he led me through the adjoining doorway and to our bed, stripping naked in a flash and gesturing for me to do the same. Again, I hesitated. He’d seen my boobs plenty of times before he’d left to do promo, but other than a glance after a shower or something similar he hadn’t seen me in all my post-partum glory as yet. I had, though, and while I’d thought all along that I looked pretty damn good, somehow standing in front of this gorgeous being resulted in my confidence bubble deflating like a balloon that’s not successfully knotted. Squeak pffffttt, there it goes. He stepped forward and undid the belt tie at my waist, then slipped his arms around me inside the fabric and pulled me against his warmth, hard cock pressing into my belly, and as he ground it against me his unspoken message came through loud and clear…that was because of me, and for me. And one should never pass when offered cock, should one? Hell no. I shrugged off the robe and let it fall to the floor, and he stepped back to look me over as he licked his lips, took both my hands in his own, squeezed, then released them to gesture for me to lie down on the mattress. I obliged, glancing at the monitor station on the night table along the way to make sure Henry was still sleeping. And, you know…still there in his crib and breathing, because that’s apparently a side effect of becoming a parent, frequent intervals of sheer terror followed by obsessive observance.

Tom placed first one knee, then the other on the foot of the bed as his hands nudged my legs apart, pressing outward on the inner portion of my knees until there was enough room for him to crawl in between them. He knelt there, staring at me, until I sat up, reaching forward to take him in hand. He gasped at my touch, his arms lifting, hands coming to rest on my shoulders.

“Ohhhh…Mauuuddee…” He continued to moan as I stroked him, and though my intent had been to finish the job I couldn’t stop thinking about how it felt when he was inside me, and how long it had been since we’d been able to fuck face-to-face, and how much I missed witnessing the way his head fell back and his neck tensed so gloriously when he came. First my rhythm faltered, then I released his cock and lowered myself back onto the bed, leaving him with the options of joining me or letting go of my shoulders and staying where he was. He leaned forward with me, still holding on until his knuckles scraped the mattress, wherein he loosened his grip and positioned his hands on the bed to either side of my head.

He remained on all fours, both of us staring at each other, until I wrapped my legs around his waist and attempted to pull him downward. The gesture was met with resistance, and after a short pause to consider how to proceed, I spoke. Three words, our gazes locked, the sound breathy, the tone pleading.

“I want you.”

A tiny smile from him, then the corners of his mouth tipping downward in a frown of concern. “And I want you. So badly. I’m desperate for it, the feel of you all around me. Are you certain…is this…is it alright?”

I reached up and around him to clasp my hands behind his shoulders. “Only one way to find out for sure. You willing to give it a try?”

He groaned, biting his lip, his body already beginning to gravitate downward toward mine. “You’ll tell me straight away if I’m hurting you?”

“Uh-huh.”

Balancing himself on one hand, he used the other to line himself up and nudge the head of his cock against my opening. His eyes never left mine as he worked himself inside at a snail’s pace, ever-so gently, and the shade of red his face had turned served to me as an indicator that the anticipation might actually be killing him so I canted my hips upward in order to speed up the process. He gasped, his own hips reflexively driving him forward in reaction to my action, and with one more thrust from me he was finally fully sheathed.

“Oh. Maude. Oh. OH.” He blinked and shook his head, the hand that had been guiding him into me returning to the mattress just above my shoulder, his lower belly now resting against mine. “You’re okay? Any pain? Discomfort? Just say the word…”

“I have two words. Fuck, and me. Fuck me. Please. Now. Tom. My god.”

He grinned. “Am I?”

“Are you what?”

“You said ‘Tom, my god’.”

I raked my nails down his back. “Yes, Tom. You’re my god. Now, I pray, wield thy rod and deliver us to the promised land.”

Snorting, he began to circle his hips. “Oh, that was awful.”

Smirking, I lowered my arms back to my sides, then reached up to tweak his nipples. “Oh, I know. But still…the rod. Wield it. I need it.”

He moved in and out, still circling, my own hips moving in time with his thrusts. As our tempo increased everything else around us grew hazy, the lines of objects blurring until all I could see clearly was his face, his shoulders, his chest…and there was indeed no pain, no discomfort, the only possible difference from before being that I was slightly more aware, more sensitive, but that was easily attributable to it having been so damn long since we’d been in this position and as far as I was concerned missionary had never, ever been so fucking heavenly. I’d wondered if I’d still be able to squeeze, and was relived when I gave it a go and Tom screeched like a banshee, then began pounding into me, harder and harder until I came with him doing the same seconds afterward. As his hips continued to twitch I locked my legs around his waist by way of my ankles and rode his still-hard cock until I came again, then again, chanting his name the entire time. He collapsed on top of me, face nuzzling my neck, nibbling here and there as I rubbed his back. He shifted so he could see me, his smile beatific.

“Hi.”

I smiled in return. “Hi.”

His left eyebrow rose. “Everything all right?”

“Everything is spectacular, thank you.” My once again confidence faded, as did my smile, when I wondered what his experience had been, post birth. “How did it…you know…was it…for you…was it…different, or anything?”

“Yes. It was different.” He leaned in to touch his forehead to mine. “Because I’ve come to love you even more than ever before. Which I would have thought impossible, yet, it’s…happened. What I witnessed in that room, Maude…using this body, your body, you performed a miracle right before my eyes…you endured and persevered and brought forth life, the embodiment of our physical and ethereal union…and the fact that you find me worthy of giving, receiving and sharing pleasure with you in this way, experiencing the divinity of your flesh…I just…I…”

In lieu of weeping, I opted for sarcasm. “So, the sex was okay, then?” He chuckled, and I giggled, and when the chuckle transitioned into full on laughter the force of it shifted him to the side a smidge, at which point I noticed wetness between us where it decidedly did not belong. “Shit, sorry babe…it would appear the divine flesh has sprung a leak. It’s baptism by breastmilk for you, my dude. Wow, the religious references just keep on coming today. Pretty sure I just heard Anne clucking her tongue at me all the way from California.”

Tom grunted, grinding against me. “All I heard was ‘coming’ and ‘tongue’.”

As his lips met mine we were interrupted by the sound of Henry whimpering, which caused my boobs to leak even more. Tom’s torso lifted off of me, and I placed my palms on his chest. “Alas, play time is over for now, good sir. Tiny human requires a snack.”

He pulled out and knee-walked backward to the foot of the bed, then stood. “Would you like me to bring him in here for you?”

I shook my head as I got up, then bent to grab my robe off the floor. “Nope. There’s no way I’m missing the expression on his face when he sees you.”

After I slipped my arms into the robe, Tom handed me the T-shirt he’d been wearing so I could clean up. “Here you are, my love. I’m going to grab a pair of shorts…can you wait for me?”

Nodding, I did a brisk mop-job, dropped the T-shirt back onto the floor, then tied the belt loosely in place. We held hands as we walked to the nursery, but I fell back and let go once we we entered in order to allow Tom to lead the way. Henry’s whimpering had evolved into what I liked to call the Universal Baby Siren Wail, and as Tom first approached then leaned into the crib, I hustled to find a vantage point from where I’d have the best view of both of them. Tom reached down to move the Pooh quilt aside, then rested his hand on Henry’s torso.

“Hey now, baby boy. It’s all right. We’re here.” He slipped his other hand underneath Henry to support his head, then shifted the hand that had been on his torso under his bum, lifting and holding him out directly in front of him, then turning him sideways to cradle him against his upper chest. “Shh, shh, we’re here.”

Henry quieted immediately, eyes un-squinching, then opening widely as he fully realized that someone other than the food-giver was holding him. Tom’s megawatt smile broke out across his face, and when Henry smiled in return I damn near died right then and there. Tom’s mouth dropped open, his head turning toward me so fast that whiplash was an actual concern.

“Maude, he smiled. Did you see? He smiled at me. I mean, I think he smiled at me. Perhaps it’s just gas or…”

“Oh, it’s not gas. He smiles. And he totally just smiled at you, the little bugger.” I moved closer to my dudes and slipped my arm around Tom’s waist. “It started yesterday, but he only does it for me when I put on a show for him.” It had crossed my mind to keep that bit of info to myself because I didn’t want him to feel as if he’d missed out on something, but I knew there would without a doubt be firsts either he or I would miss along the way, because children develop at such a rapid pace all you have to do is be looking in the wrong direction for a second and that’s that. It initially appeared that Tom seemed thoroughly unaffected by my statement, however, and returned his focus to Henry.

“Henry, that was quite a spectacular smile. It’s made Daddy feel very, very special. Thank you. I missed you so much while I was gone, and I want to keep you all to myself but I know you’re hungry, so here’s Mamma, all right?” He passed him to me, and I headed over to the rocker, pausing before I sat down when I felt Tom’s hand on my shoulder. I turned to look at him, and he smiled bashfully as he spoke.

“Would you mind if I sat with you? Or if there’s not enough space would you consider sitting on my lap while you nurse him? I…I’d like to be close to both of you.”

I smiled back. “Sitting on your lap sounds like perfection. Park that pretty ass, Tom.”

He complied, and I lowered myself carefully into place, resting semi-sideways. He wrapped his right arm around me to serve as support, his hand grasping my hip, fingers splayed. We remained silent until I’d burped Henry for the second time and Tom began to rock us all forward and back slowly. He spoke, voice hushed so Henry’s attempting to doze off wouldn’t be disturbed.

“I knew it was possible…likely, even…that certain milestones in his development might occur in my absence. And I’m aware that such moments are fleeting, even if I happen to be nearby. But having it actually happen the first time out of the gate…well…we’ve yet to discuss it, though I’ve been thinking about it quite a bit, and I don’t know how much consideration you’ve given to it, if any, because lord knows you’ve been busy here on the frontlines all alone, but...where do you see us, going forward, in regard to our occupational statuses?”

While I hadn’t committed to anything, my plan while pregnant had been to take twelve weeks off, then return to work at Prosper at least three days a week and continue to be the Great and Powerful OZ behind the curtain for Manageall. But those weeks, man, they were whipping by at warp speed. The few instances so far wherein I’d needed to handle urgent business issues despite being on leave had been atypically stressful, and that had given me pause, though I was onto the next task at hand so rapidly there was no thorough evaluation as to whether or not I wanted to proceed as planned or rework it all lock, stock and barrel. I shook my head.

“I thought I had the answer for that…there was a plan, you know? But honestly, Tom…now…I’m kind of questioning, like, everything. Which I did not expect.” Glancing down at the beautiful, now soundly sleeping, being in my arms, I shifted my legs forward, then stood. “Welp, someone’s out cold. Let’s tuck him in and adjourn to the bedroom once again so we can speak at normal people volume. Before you comment, let me rephrase – normal Maude volume.”

He chuckled, and both of us whispered our good-nights to Henry, then returned to our marital bed, this time remaining mostly vertical instead of horizontal. We sat, side by side, each waiting for the other to start until I elbowed Tom in the ribs.

“You’re the one who mentioned it, so it only seems fair that you should go first.” He inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly, and I reached out and grabbed his knee. “Thomas. I understand. It’s all good. You’re my partner, I love you, and I’ll support whatever choice you decide to make.”

He placed his hand atop mine. “God, how I love you. Thank you for that. All right. Out with it. Here’s what I’m thinking…for the remainder of this year, I’ve got Early Man to finish up, a very short shoot for the next two Avengers films, then Ragnarok promo. All the Early Man stuff will take place in a studio within driving distance, so while I’ll be working, I won’t have to be out of town. Avengers won’t take more than a few days, but Ragnarok promo…that’s another story, and though it’s unavoidable, it’s not until late fall so there’s a nice span of time during which I’ll be able to remain in London. Early next year I’ll have Early Man promo, then Avengers promo, and since the format of the Vampire Chronicles has been switched from a cinematic release to a streaming series filming has been pushed back until 2019 at the earliest. So, my schedule for the foreseeable future is relatively clear. And…other than possibly entertaining a London-only stage production…I’d like to keep it that way. I want to spend every moment I can here, at home, with you and Henry, until he’s old enough to travel easily. Though honestly, I’m not even sure about that anymore. There are several aspects other than my personal preference to be considered, however. How will this affect us financially? How will this impact my career? And finally, how does this fit with your line of thinking, if at all?”

“Let’s address my line of thinking, then the rest, because it’s all relative. I like working. I can’t see myself not doing some sort of work. And I think you’re the same with your work, with acting. It’s a significant component of who you are, at your core. For me, while I’m really, really good at PR, if I do say so myself…” He snorted, and I shrugged. “Like Peggy Carter says, I know my value. Anyway. I’m skilled at it, but it’s not my passion. It’s never been. Coding and design…those are my passions. PR is just…work. Bear in mind that if Manageall had never happened I would not be considering this, but…I don’t see myself returning to Prosper other than as an outside consultant. The staff has become well-versed in how to handle social media and instructing clients, which renders me non-essential in that realm. Where I can be of benefit is on the front lines…however, that position is very taxing from an emotional standpoint…and, let’s face it, the entire industry is kind of soul-sucking. I could handle it, before…no problemo, dude. But now that we have a kiddo, I feel compelled to reserve as much of myself for him as I possibly can. And, bottom line from a purely financial standpoint, my earning potential when working at coding and designing is far greater than in the PR world. It’s work that offers nearly complete flexibility in regard to time and location. I want to begin to pursue…slowly… developing and improving Manageall. I want to see how far it can go, and, eventually, I want to explore other projects. Mainly apps. Apps. I want to create and design apps. Wow, that’s quite the revelation right there, and fuck, I really feel like a ginormous turd for essentially bailing on Luke for the most part, but I have to be honest with myself and honest with you and the truth is…the thing that’s most important to me right now and probably will be forever or at least until he’s an adult with a life and stuff but then, grandbabies…fuck me, that’s nuts…anyway…the most important thing is Tom and Maude and Henry being…together. Long story short, we’re in excellent financial shape and could live a perfectly lovely life if neither of us ever worked again, you know that, I know that, and I’m incredibly grateful for that, and time is the enemy, and after all we’ve been through, why the fuck not step back a bit so we can enjoy our son, and each other? Oh, your career. Forgot that part. Will there be an impact? Yes. Will you be able to jump back in at full speed whenever you want? Technically, yes, though it may take a little time if you’re way off the public radar. Is there any guarantee that you’ll ever enjoy the level of notoriety you have right now? No. Will that impact your earning potential? Entirely possible. How does that make you feel? How does everything else contained the verbal version of explosive diarrhea that you just listened to me spew make you feel, other than wicked sorry you asked for my opinion?”

He snorted. “I asked, and I received…not at all sorry. Exhausted, perhaps, but not sorry.” Sobering, he stared down at the floor for a moment, then looked up and turned his head toward me. “I came across an article a few years back…a list of the biggest regrets expressed by patients in hospice. At the top were working too much, and not spending more time with family. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, now…we all have two lives. The second one starts when we realize that we only have one. Throughout that one, our priorities change as we live, love, and grow, but the constant is time. The sand is flowing ever-downward through the hourglass and there’s no stopping it. Time is, as you just said, is the enemy. At the end of my time on this plane of existence I don’t want to find myself staring in the rearview at the life behind me with words of regret upon my lips. I want to be replaying all the moments of beauty and joy I experienced with the people I loved, finding peace in knowing that even if I were able, I wouldn’t change a blessed thing. The path to that is clear…Tom and Maude and Henry being together, as often as humanly possible.”

He paused, and just as I was about to wrap my arms around him, he smirked, then grinned mischievously. I cocked my head to the side, left eyebrow raised. “You’re totally thinking about that first day on the beach when you said you wanted to know me and I said biblically and you said…”

“…as often as humanly possible. Yes, Maude, yes I am. That was quite a day, was it not?”

I nodded. “That it was. Mind-blowingly strange and spectacular. And though there’ve been so many ‘best day evers’ since…without that one, none of them would have happened. Thus, I’m inclined to delegate it as the most important best day ever.”

He reached for me, the sides of his hands resting on my collarbones as his fingers stroked my neck and his thumbs brushed my jawline and cheeks. “I concur, my light in the mist.” He kissed me, feather-light at first, then firmer, finally sucking my lower lip into his mouth and doing the thing…with the result exactly as expected.

My thighs were still clenching as I spoke. “Thomas William Hiddleston…first of all, how dare you. Second of all…HOW DARE YOU?!”

He laughed loudly, releasing me to raise his hands up as if he were praising the god of his choice, then rotating his wrists and turning his palms skyward. “Still makes me feel like a fucking rock star.”

I reached out to pinch his nipples. “As a reward, the rock star will be given the honor of changing the next diaper. If he can handle it.”

Nodding, he wrapped his arms around me and began pushing me backward onto the bed. “He can. But he’s going to handle you first, if you can, you know…handle him handling you. Again.”

“She can handle him handling her again a few times, probably.” With that, Henry began crying again, and we both rose quickly to our feet. I poked his bicep. “I regret to inform you that there’s been a sudden but not entirely unexpected modification to the handling schedule. You’re needed at the north stage immediately, Rock Star. The woman will have to wait her turn.”

He linked his arm with mine as we walked though the bedroom door and into the nursery. “Well, I hope she won’t mind too much.”

I shook my head. “She won’t. You’re worth it.”

He kissed my cheek as we reached Henry’s crib. “So are you, my Maude. So are you.”

After Tom fulfilled his doody duties, which I figured would be the case because Henry typically didn’t wake up when he was only wet, I stood back and observed, attempting to absorb and retain even the most minute details of his interaction with our son. Kissing his little feet one at a time before placing them back into his footie sleeper, carefully closing the snaps, bending down to hold him against his chest as he lifted him from the changing table, breathing him in as he re-positioned him so his head rested upon his left shoulder. And then, he began to sing. So softly I couldn’t quite make out the words, but I knew the tune. And so I stepped forward to stand before him, and the words became clear.

I feel my heart beating I feel my heart beneath my skin Oh, I can feel my heart beating 'Cause you make me feel Like I'm alive again Alive again Oh, you make me feel Like I'm alive again

Turn your magic on, to me she'd say Everything you want's a dream away Under this pressure, under this weight We are diamonds taking shape We are diamonds taking shape

I joined in after that verse, somehow managing to not dissolve in a puddle of tears after hearing my husband remixing our wedding song into a lullaby for our son.

If we've only got this life This adventure oh then I If we've only got this life You'll get me through, oh If we've only got this life And this adventure, oh then I Wanna share it with you With you, with you

As we finished, I found myself transfixed by the sight of Tom’s body rocking gently from side to side, and his fingers drawing small circles on the back of Henry’s sleeper. It was soft, 100% cotton, white with purple horizontal stripes and a powerful sense of deja vu overwhelmed me, though it escalated beyond ‘I’ve been here before’ quickly and transformed into glimpse of the future, similar to the dream I’d had immediately prior to waking up on the day of our public wedding ceremony…Tom and I, three children, brief instances throughout time, the moments occurring in various places, with one thing in common…all of us, together. A vision of myself, looking downward at hands that were starting to wrinkle, holding the sleeper Henry was wearing in the here and now, then passing it to someone, into the hands of a younger man, his face blurry, but his hair very clearly black, and I could hear voices around me speaking, Tom’s being the only one I recognized. Though I wasn’t able to make out the words, I could feel the joy emanating from everyone around me, and from within me. A vignette that, whether it turned out to be real or imaginary, imparted upon me a sense of finality. Not an ending, just a bookmark in the story of my life’s adventure for this year, this day, and this hour, when I could see the purpose of the past and the promise of the future and recognize that I was precisely exactly where I was always meant to be. Tom quietly asking if I was all right snapped me back to the present, and I looked up to see those blue eyes gazing back at me, eyes in which I’d seen darkness and light and everything in between, eyes that were indeed a mirror, a reflection of the soul housed within that had called to mine so strongly, so loudly, across time and space, until, finally, the hand of the universe had been forced to relent and bring us together. I grinned, nodding in the affirmative, my answer a single whispered word.

“Absofuckingloutely.”

#your light in the mist #chapter 52

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stichd-a-blog · 6 years ago

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Hey so!! I said I was gonna do something special && here it is!!

I got a BULK of my followers around last week during the whole ‘appreciation promo thing’ people were doing. But because I had like 30 followers && knew none of them at the time, I couldn’t jump onto the bandwagon.

NOW

I was going to wait for 100 followers, but then i realize it may come off as just forced if i do that?? && I’m so close to 100 anyways I felt it would be better to have a small appreciation post now rather than later!! because I want to give back, what so many gave to me && without most of my followers, I wouldn’t even have an active blog rn??

So I’m gonna tag a few of my faves/the people who’ve given me && stitches their patience. But please know, that if you’re not on this post, it doesn’t mean we’re not friends, or can’t BE friends. I welcome everyone to interact w/ me with open arms, even though my muse is like . . . super small && not known, anything is possible && we can always make something work!!

ANYWAYS

here are small blurbs for some of the people i love!!

@cartoonlonk. My god, i think you know why you’re on here Goo. tbh i was afraid i was gonna come off as weird to you?? but I ABSOLUTELY love the shit we come up w/ through discord. && without all the stuff we SCREAM at each other, Stitches wouldn’t have acquired his mobile paper shredder to get rid of all the incriminating paper work he doesn’t want to deal w/ — plus your boi sharing his plush w/ my boi?? good shit.

@thehopcful. anyone who isn’t following this gem, please do?? Pinks OC is an ABSOLUTE precious bean. not to mention, Pink is also a precious bean && I love when we just throw ideas @ each other. I’m so glad to have followed you, because if i hadn’t, Stitches wouldn’t have him self a second personal assistant && lbr he needs like 50 of those to function . . . . I enjoy our chats && just the random hcs we throw down, all around a good time!!

@drcamiipriince. hhh h h hH HH H LOOK AT OUR BROKEN BOIS?? not to mention your dreamburt is a gem — maybe perhaps DREAMY?? ANYWAYS i absolutely love the little things we keep doing, its amazing && i think both our muses benefit from it— Stitches lowkey concerned for the pillow now, he’ll probably protecc if anything ever goes wrong. . . . but like?? I see alot of potential w/ these two!! ALSO just mutual to mutual i love reading your hcs for dreambert, you really do a gr8 job at playing him!! I’m glad I stumbled across you through all the appreciation posts!!

@planetruled. You’re a meme. Honestly tho, when you dropped into my stream the other day, I absolutely LOVED how you were just like ‘we gonna see dat boi soon??’ because honestly it was a big mood for me && I was RUSHING through that whole level just to show him to you LOL. I love our little interaction between Comoestas && Stitches because they’re just being two salty evil dudes being salty @ eachother. I loom forward to them having a bro moment tbh?? I feel it.

@sternenteile. Okay so first off, LOVE your Geno, I don’t think I’ve said it yet, but I honestly do. We haven’t chatted much other than the tags from our rp, as well as small replies here && there. But?? I love LOVE how Geno deals with Stitches && sorta just, uses fire to play w/ fire to try && get a rise out of him— but not in a malicious way. I look forward to more interactions between these two, I know they might not seem like that have a lot to work with at the moment, but I see a lot of potential in the future!!

@monsterbane. We’ve talked . . . ALOT. our first ic interaction last night— wasn’t even serious, but I love these two already. They’re GOOFBALLS && I’ll enjoy any interaction between them. Just don’t expect Stitches to down a Rathalos or anything during a hunt, he’ll probably just watch from afar . . . or write down another half-assed quest so he can have one of those for his castle as well.

Just remember, if i didn’t write a blurb about you, it doesn’t mean I don’t love you, there are still so many blogs I appreciate— sometimes from afar because I am afraid. But i’m still gonna mention ya’ll anyways because today is blog appreciation (i’m declaring its such a day— don’t @ me)

@juzhuu . @topazwarped , @nightmareoverlord , @puffywarrior, @undeadrphub, @dcfctio, @ganondorfthedarklord, @birds-multimuse, @allnostalgic, @pseudogaiety, @laslow, @gwaitm, @commandingxmask, @pinedecode, @gyrcid, @burstbombbitch, @sangfear, @bonepranks, @cosmcther, @greendreambro, @heroesofunderdark, @origcmibird, @envyfallen, @soulhaine, @fleursouverain, @umbracute, @skeletations

BASICALLY all above are people i’ve interacted with a little— or not at all && just watch from afar lol, if any of you ever want to do anything, please let me know, like before, I welcome everyone to interact w/ me with open arms!!

Thanks again to EVERYONE who has been super supportive of me && my muse. Like I've said countless times before, its hard to be a character from something not many know about, it takes a lot of patience on both ends; all of you have shown me that you WANT to learn more about Stitches && i couldn’t even ask for anything more than that!! i’m glad I've done enough to make people interested in Underhero && I’m glad people love Stitches.

Thanks again!!

#✦ // ✦ // ;; ᴅᴏɪɴɢ sᴛᴜғғ ⁽ ᵒᵒᶜ ⁾#appreciation post.#follower callout.#god this is long??#but i mean #i wanted to do a thing for people i appreciation #even if i haven't hit a milestone i needed to do this #like #i've been waiting for 100 followers just to have the excuse to do this because i just wanted to share how much i appreciate everyone??#but i'm like 'screw it its happening today its been a week who cares'#thanks again guys!#i really can't say it enough #having people here who care for me && my muse is all i could ever ask for #i hope that i can continue interact w/ ya'll for a long time :>#sorry if this annoys anyone #&& sorry if you're not on here #it just means we haven't connected fully yet #but hopefully that'll change!

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naruhearts · 6 years ago

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14x11 Thoughts, Destiel, & 10x09

(copy-paste from Twitter)

- - - -

So I finally got around to watching this week’s ep — the whole thing — and it was...okay. I don’t think it packed super good characteristic/emotional punches like we’ve seen in recent weeks but it definitely spoke to Dean’s long-running low depressive self-worth (and ever-increasing queer Dean subtext via Michael’s closet!box and 14x10 closet!mind).

What stood out to me was the absence of Cas: no mention of him or Jack. And I don’t know if I should take that as solid or sloppy negative space placement by Perez or what, but there were callbacks/reduxes to Dean’s MoC arc — specifically 10x09.

Interestingly, it seemed like the infamous D/C burger date was reflected by Dean and Donna the Dean mirror’s burger meetup, with both scenarios unfolding in the same narrative context of Dean’s self-sacrificial worthlessness-induced Bad Decisions™ that altogether served as some kind of contrast for platonic vs familial vs romantic interpersonal dynamics.

In 10x09 Sam was also deceived by his brother — observe the visual Dark vs Light difference of both settings — in that Dean obviously wasn’t fine but he still cooked for him (he cooks with Mary in 14x11 as well)/successfully tricked Sam into thinking all is well. Afterwards, Dean went on his heavily Dabb romance-coded burger date with Cas.

In sombre-coloured 14x11 Sam knew Dean was visibly off, whereas Cas is...nowhere to be heard, seen, found. Dean doesn’t mention him at all either, and again I don’t know if that was just some weird lapse in writing consistency, but Perez probably intended to convey the primary negative space: that Dean can be stopped by his lover-coded best friend Cas who, indeed, won’t talk Dean out of his plan like Sam can, but would drill through the box and metaphorically/literally yank Dean out — grip him tight and raise him again from proverbial Perdition (Dean’s metaphorical/literal burial directly ties back to Lazarus Rising, and well, this is what cyclic S14’s thematically highlighted generally all season so far: the old beginning and new beginning of Dean’s first rebirth) aka Dean knew that Cas, like in 10x09, would call him out on his bluff asap. Dean knew that Cas saying “No, you’re not [fine]” could break his free resolve to go through with his self-punishing World Saving scheme.

Dean knows that Cas finding out would stop him in his tracks, because he can’t bear to feel like he’s failing him, but that’s the rub of the episode’s characteristic premise isn’t it? Dean’s Hiding-to-Protect-My-Family is paradoxically counterproductive - he’s failing them, and he’s always internalized that saying goodbye before marching off to his own death isn’t a commonality but a rarity. He almost got away with not telling Sam, and we’ll see how Cas finds out next ep (Sam’s “secret sick farewell tour” comment was accurate). I mean, these are the only logical points I can think of in terms of almost unequivocally Cas-less dialogue (seriously, where’d he go?) UNLESS, like I said above, Dean’s deliberately and consciously holding back (voila, repressing feelings and words) from bringing Cas to his own awareness so that he has an uninterrupted burial go-ahead.

***Recall that in S10 Cas was unable to follow through with Dean’s intimately-confided wish for Cas to kill him as soon as he fell MoC darkside, anyway. In fact, Dean excluding Cas entirely from his conscious functioning may be his Operation: Burial failsafe to protect his family — to protect Cas — from what could become the 10x22-reminiscent line of Michael’s fire. Yet Cas shall remain by his side. Forever, if need be, precisely because “everyone you know, everyone you love? They could be long dead. Everyone except me.” I’ll-Go-With-You Cas is the one Dean absolutely trusts.

And when Perez relays the Who Am I-linked thematic question of How Are You? Dean says:

(Sigh. This is why you must ‘die’, Dean. Break the remaining shackles of miscommunication and performativity that hinder you from TALKING ABOUT IT, from OPENING UP ABOUT EVERYTHING YOU’VE ALWAYS AVOIDED TALKING ABOUT ESPECIALLY ON THE LOVE AND...LOVE FRONT.)

What I really enjoyed were the overt naked cowboy beefcake posters in Donna’s shed that evoked Dean’s subtextual preference for dark-haired thick-bodied male cowboys a la 13x06 Cas etc. Those men?! Yep, they’re exactly your type too, Dean. Just last episode we observed the biggest Repressed Gay Hits of Dean’s subconscious/Michael’s dream construct, poised to nudge at the walls of text. Here, Dean got, uh, pretty distracted for a few seconds until he remembered that he had to “die” (literally locking himself up in his closet!box with naked Cas-representative men surrounding him and oh boy more 4x01 sparks flew during the closet!box building process: meta in meta) but I digress—

Overall 14x11 isn’t one of my faves. Dean basically revealed, more or less, what was in Billie’s Single Win endgame book, and it seemingly overhauled the very notion of Free Will and blank slates that Dean (and TFW) always embodied x. It felt disjointed in certain respects, and I hated that Donna and Mary were DiDs (come on, TPTB, get past the damselized misogyny, in all its veiled and obvious forms). Personally heart-wrenching to me though was Dean’s one-on-one time with Mary (he belittled his cooking abilities by claiming he’s a “terrible cook” *hello low self-worth*) — including his grief-tinged bologna & cheese Winchester Surprise story that almost segued into angry John memories — despite it falling short by missing the mark for true expositional discussion between them re: Dean’s actual feelings (no substantial emotive breakthrough. But yeah, I guess it should make sense that Dean’s regressed to toxic depressive behaviours and maladaptive secrecy before he metaphorically “dies” and is resurrected again).

Rating: 5/10. 6/10 if I’m being generous.

p.s. Donna was trying to ask Dean how he is, but Dean deflected during their burger outing (“Everybody keeps asking me how I am”) —> contrast to Cas seeing through Dean’s walls during burger date. And it’s intriguing that Doug comes up in conversation; her split with Doug — who couldn’t integrate into or commit with Donna’s hunting life — still affects her. It’s as if Dean’s ‘splitting up’ with Cas, which, he technically is (temporarily).

I’m sure I might have more thoughts on 14x11 later on, but this is the gist of my summary for now. Feel free to throw your thoughts around, peeps!!

And by the way, 14x12 promo has Cas saying “Stop with your suicidal plans” to whom I’m assuming is Dean. I just hope next week explains what happened to 14x11’s narrative cohesiveness at least :P

Now I’d like to call on @coinofstone‘s symbolic analysis of the books Dean chose for coffin-building :D

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maatikikhushboo · 6 years ago

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Kasautii Flashbacks Aur Promises Kay

Disclaimer: A lengthy frustrated post (2500+ words) on your way. Has lots of grammatical errors and is not proof read. So please read on your own discretion.

After watching 69 episodes of Kasautii Zindagii Kay, I decided that I will quit watching it regularly, but I continued watching it intermittently. I very well knew the implications of signing up for EK’s shows. But still, I wanted to give it a try, and honestly, for the pretty faces of the leads because they screamed chemistry. Look at these pictures launched initially - especially the down section of the picture --

Backstory :

KZK1 was one of those disastrous stuffs ever made for ITV. Pathetic aesthetics, horrible make-ups (that didn’t change for this season as well), lackadaisical writing, multiple assassinations/butchering of characters, having sudden 180 and 270 degree turns and the offscreen dynamics kinda influencing the plot and what not? I used to watch KZK1 because 2001 was when I was residing in Kolkata. My love for Bangla had signed me up for that stupid show which I stopped watching after certain point of time (Waise, there is nothing Bangali except the names in both the seasons, it was just used to make it attractive and avant garde. Bangali people in general don’t wear these Devdas-inspo clothes and jewellery. Every time I see Mohini and Nivi of KZK2, I feel sorry for them because jewellery must be really heavy and wearing them on daily basis is bit uncomfortable even when you are getting paid for it.). The only saving grace of the show were the actors and their performances (which cannot be matched by the new season), otherwise no one was going to watch the show for its stupid story. Except the much popular title song, Shwetha Tiwari’s performance, Moloy-Rajesh’s bromance, there was nothing worthy in KZK1. Anurag and Prerna got united only when they died. Some felt that they were true OTP, and I beg to differ here.

It is 2019 and everything is so out-of-place with KZK2 since its inception. Ekta’s much ambitious project is a flop show. It was much evident and we all knew that EK is EK and she will take the same S1 way. KZK2 proved itself to be a mere aesthetic-improvised photocopy of KZK1. There are many scenes in the show which are filmed same-to-same. The editing is pathetic and the noticeable bloopers are increasing day by day. These promos and claims of going the different way were just marketing gimmicks. In KZK1, AnuPre getting to know each other, falling in love and getting physically intimate, all happened in just 20-25 episodes. This time they wanted to avoid that and hence went the Naveen way, only to get back to the quintessential track of Anu marrying Komo and Prerna becoming pregnant. Naveen babu and his creepy tactics were much dragged and the writers deliberately elevated Anurag’s character and turned him the great saviour. Even the SitaaraPlus Instagram was full of Anurag’s gun-gaan. I bet that the channels’ PR team are a bunch of fangirls. We see that the so-called smart Anurag Basu is perhaps the dumbest ML of 2018/19 whose all plans were epic fails. I mean come on, Moloy was lot better than him in finding proofs against Komolika. I miss Moloy man, he was such a comic relief (although I must agree that the character has some serious issues like him being okay whenever Nivedita or Mohini badmouths Sharma’s, at least he can knock some sense into them about etiquette if not there, then in private). I keep forgetting that it’s a Hindi TV show and that too a Balaji show. Tellyworld mein itna dimaag kahan kisi ke paas hota hai? 😂

Anurag was given heavy dialogues which were full of promises. Sentence ke aage ek promise and sentence ke peeche ek promise (if possible I would like to go into the TV and smack his head if he daresay that word again 😤) Prerna was shown as that abla majboor naari of 2019 who is so gareeb that she had to resort to marriage to ensure that unke sar par chhat rahe. She was never given the character growth she deserved (why does Hindi TV revolve around shaadi? matlab har problem ka solution either function or shaadi?). It is natural that audiences started feeling that Anurag was the only one who contributed more to this story because we never were shown Prerna’s side of story. During the track, Anurag kept giving Prerna mixed signals (dosti ke liye aaj kal, in 2019 koi bhi itna sab nahi karta like jaan jokhim mein daalna especially when Prerna herself told you initially to back off). Getting engaged to Mishka whom he clearly didn’t love while being so confused about Prerna was the first downfall. Anurag didn’t bother to tell Mishka that he doesn’t want to marry her. On top of it, he promised Prerna of marriage and got physically intimate with her and then asked Veena, her hand for marriage. He publicly insulted Prerna and married Komolika. How ugly is this!!! How do the writers expect people to connect to him, how much ever good or noble his intentions may be? There is no doubt he is selfless and has the best interests of everyone in his heart especially Prerna, but is that enough? He can’t be redeemed after what he did to Prerna, because actions speak louder than words. What makes this sequence worse is the damn FLASHBACKS! AnuPre consummation was shown to a viewer as a FB when a pregnant Prerna recollects this at the hospital. This makes it more weird and gross! Like, how on earth people get busy getting intimate when some gunde are after your lives? I know, that you have confessed your love to each other, but itni urgency kis baat ki? Writers have destroyed that innocence and purity which was there at the time of confession. The editing and song sequence was so terrible. The only thing that is bearable is the actors who are making the characters believable, otherwise the storyline is just chutiyaapa.

Writers, have degraded everything just because you wanted to highlight the much-hyped character Komolika? Hina is a pretty woman who has achieved a lot in her career and deserves the love she gets from her fans. I kinda really liked her makeup (it was inspired by Bipasha Basu) as a Bong Bride but the costume was again meh. But the character portrayed by her was an iconic one and she has been a huge let down. I don’t get any vamp feels from her. She appears more of a comic character who only knows to make faces. And a special mention to her style statement which is just like her role. Costume designers, please, rich people like KoMoNi never dress like that. Those costumes are everything but sophisticated and classy.

Also, I think it’s high time that these fangirls stop idolising Anurag Basu 2.0. A person who cannot clarify things and take a stand for his love and keeps listening to all the accusations and taunts thrown at her by the ladies of his family and later justifies it by saying that it’s all because they were concerned is plain bullshit. He may be a gentleman and loves his family, and Prerna, but he is not worth stanning!!! Is this the same Anurag Basu who warned Naveen Babu that “Agar Prerna pe mera dil aa gaya na, toh aap, aapki sagaai, aapki daleelein koi nahi rok paayega mujhe Prerna ko apna banana se.”? If he is, then why did he fall prey to Komolika’s blackmailing? Naveen was also equally creepy, dangerous and comical (Saajan ji ghar aaye dance was EPIC). See what the writers have done!

Even during Naveen’s track, they desperately wanted to introduce Komolika but couldn’t do it due to Hina’s prior commitments. To venture Komolika they again brought Mishka (who was actually that London wali shaadi-shuda ladki whose name is Sarika 🤣 ). To link Prerna and Komolika, they planned Ronit-Shivani’s angle which is long forgotten (Shivani doesn’t remember that she is pregnant 🤣 ). So many loose ends are conveniently forgotten. Also, what kind of a mother is Mohini?😳 She is so ignorant. Can’t she understand what her son wants and I am bewildered by how she accepted Komolika without any problem when technically Anu was engaged to Mishka? Terrible!

At least after Naveen track, they could have explored AnuPre. I remember that one small snippet in Prerna’s sangeet with Naveen where we get to know that Anurag stopped talking to Prerna because she cheated him in a game in their childhood. We could have been shown many such things instead of that stupid Naveen track. Although the journey of AnuPre in KZK1 was only 20-25 episodes, it was satisfying because there were no other parallel tracks going on and they concentrated on AnuPre bonding.

When the channel dropped the shaadi wala promo (only to get transformed into No-Shaadi-Only-Tika later), it became a rage and people were like happy that it is not going the S1 way only to get disheartened. The confession was subtle and beautifully shot. Yet, I couldn’t feel the depth. Dialogues were always out of place and meaningless in this show. Just fire the dialogue writers man, it’s making everything more confusing because there is no sync between dialogues, story and character progression! Also, I knew that you were gonna bring that pandit to legalise the tika marriage, I mean by-the-virtue-of-air-maang-got-filled-by-sindoor-marriage on an auspicious muhurat after 15 odd years. That was a nice move to legalise the existence of Prem.🤣

The AltBalaji’s synopsis of the show was screaming since eons – “An epic saga of Anurag and Prerna’s soul-stirring romance. The story begins with one unintentional betrayal that spoils Anurag’s relationship with his soul-mate Prerna and is followed by the wicked twists added by Komolika. Their lives go through a whirlwind of emotions, trials, sufferings, twists, and terrible confusions, which destiny plays out for them. Only time will reveal how they are destined to live for each other, but not with each other.”. Coming to this unintentional betrayal, let me clarify that there is NO UNINTENTIONAL BETRAYAL here because Anurag intentionally chose this to save his family and business. When two people are in a relationship, one person has no right to take decisions for both. Prerna asked him, begged him literally but he just slammed his decision on her. I don’t give a damn to this stupid sacrifice “Thorn Bird” kinda love. People feel sad for Anurag being the Thorn Bird here, but he is the one who had landed himself into this worthless sacrifice as Anupam notes.

People are excited to see strong Prerna. I could have been happier if they went ahead with S1 way here instead. She was always initially taunted for being stupid, having small brains and of lower class. Proving her mettle and becoming successful on her own would have been a befitting reply. It is so against your self-respect to land yourselves again amidst of those Basu’s. I am not surprised that you like Shivani have forgotten about your pregnancy and how harmful it could be for your child to survive especially when people like Komolika are living in the same house. And there is nothing new in this track. EK's saalon purana same formula hai - Mix and Match. Apne serials mein hi naye serials ke stories revolve hote rehte hai. In her show, Kya Hua Tera Vaada, the same thing happened. When Vihaan married Anika, Bulbul entered along with Anika and did all the grihpravesh rasams and started living with them. Of course, this new Prerna is a treat to watch (she has shown everyone their place with sass) and it is worth watching for all entertainment. Erica nails such scenes and through this track she is gonna get her due. (I loved her stint in KRPKAB post leap). Also, what is with this Anurag planning to get rid of Komolika by getting closer to her? Like really man!? You appear like a milksop. The lollipops of AnuPre flashbacks or eyelocks which they are inserting in the middle of the 21 minutes of bakwaas is not gonna get them TRPs. For me, they have ruined it. Everything is beyond redemption now.

We all know what happens when a thing is excessively marketed/promoted. It unnecessarily increases the hype and expectations of people, which when not met will lead to utter disappointment. EK has hired SRK to do the honours, which must have costed her a bomb. Heavy social media promotion through various videos & BTS scenes has ignited curiosity and they wanted to play with this and all fell for it. Some wanted to explore it as a new show and some were there to draw comparisions because of nostalgia with a hope that things would be different this time coz it’s 2018/2019. 😂 😂 😂 Be it 2001 or 2019 things have not changed in TV. Film Industries are gradually transforming themselves and are producing films with unconventional concepts. They are churning out good amount of content driven/art films every year. We know that TV actors don’t have many choices. Both Parth & Erica are good actors. Actors get paid irrespective of whatever they portray. Still, I sometimes do feel bad seeing all the potential being wasted. But yeah, the casting is on point. The chemistry is so good. But, what we get in the name of the great KZK 2 is just the same recycled shit. Balaji didn’t need to inaugurate, the statues of love everywhere (like really?). If it were other producers, (well, they won’t be spending mammoth, but let us hypothetically assume) and they are not able to meet the expectations, to continue their stint, they would succumb to ratings based instant-noodle-tracks-twists-turns kinda plots. But EK is EK, whose team loves to cook noodles from Day 1, toh itna fizool karcha kyun karna bhai? She could have been a little prudent and invested some money in hiring better script writers and agar kismat acchi hoti hamari aur actors ki toh, acche story mil jaati. Also, many dynamics could have been explored. Khair, chhodo, main bhi kiske baare mein bol rahi hoon 😂 😂 😂 What else can we expect from a Balaji show? It’s just villains, multiple MUs, separations and sacrifices all over the place. I just wish TRPs teach her a lesson.

P.S: Okay, some people say that Prerna should have understood that Anurag has some majboori like she had while almost marrying Naveen babu. No one in their right state of mind would think about majboori and stuff after getting humiliated publicly and getting mocked for her love. And, agar tellyworld mein itna brains leads ke pass hote toh yeh shaadi mandap tak nahi pahunchti.

P.P.S: I just don’t understand what is the problem with SitaaraPlus. Come on man, why on earth do you love showing all the wrong messages to the society under the tagline “Baat Nayi”? Everyone is aware of your partiality towards Gul and Ekta’s shows. However regressive they might be, you just keep extending them and you simply pulled the plug off for the Dopahar shows which were good content wise and concept wise. Everyone here is to do business and so you are, so stop bluffing people under your stupid tagline. Also, don’t mislead people like you did here. Thank God I didn’t subscribe to Star Value Pack of yours. Bye-Bye.

#i vent when i am on my pms so sorry bhailog #i quit this show #thanks for ruining anurag and prerna for us #Kasautii Zindagii Kay #Kasautii Zindagii Kay 2 #kzk #kzk2 #kzk 2 #woes of tellywood audience #type: opinion

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theycallmebeccawrites · 6 years ago

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Chris & Ellie Series: Episode 1

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Ellie Spencer (OFC)

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: graphic sex, oral sex, playful spanking, language

Episode Summary: This episode takes place in May 2016. Chris has just returned home from the Captain America: Civil War promo tour.

Note: This episode takes place the same day as Chris, Gwyneth and Robert visited Ryan Wilcox so that is what Chris & Ellie are referencing.

Disclaimer: This work of fiction is not to be reposted, used or translated without my permission.

The Chris and Ellie series is primarily chronological. It begins with a flash forward to 2016 and has a few other scenes in the future. However, the majority of their story is told in chronological order starting in 2013 and going through 2017. Each episode starts with a date to help you place it within the story.

The Chris & Ellie Series Masterlist | Chris & Ellie Masterlist

Episode 1: May 23, 2016

Ellie Spencer stood in front of the sink, her hands encased in yellow rubber dishwashing gloves as she cleaned the dishes she’d used that night for dinner. It wasn’t that she didn’t have a dishwasher–there were actually two in the fancy-schmancy kitchen of the Los Angeles home she shared with her fiance–she just didn’t see the point in using the machine when she was eating alone. Again.

Her family and friends–including her beloved, soon-to-be in-laws–had taken turns visiting her over the last several weeks, but now she had the house to herself until her fiance got home from the final leg of the promo tour. When that would be, she wasn’t sure; he was remaining tight lipped about when he would get home.

Sighing, she set the last dish on the dish drying rack–the one she’d brought with her when she’d moved back into his place from her little closet of an apartment–and pulled off the rubber gloves. She turned around and screamed of fright when she saw someone standing in the doorway between the kitchen and the hallway. It took her a second to realize who it was.

“Chris!” she exclaimed, grabbing one of the rubber gloves and throwing it in his direction only to have it land on the floor with a splat half way between them. “Gah! I hate when you scare me like that!”

“I couldn’t resist,” he replied, chuckling.

She wanted to run across the room and throw herself into his arms, but that would just be rewarding him for scaring her. Appraising him, she noticed the dark circles under his eyes and that his shirt was a bit tighter in the tummy area than it had when he’d left; no doubt thanks to his family in Boston making him anything to eat that he wanted.

Smiling, she finally started towards him, but stopped suddenly as she realized their two loud, noisy dogs had yet to make an appearance. “How did you sneak in here without alerting the dogs?” she asked.

“Ninja training,” he replied, closing the distance between them. “And I wasn’t trying to scare you, honest, you just looked so pretty with the light over the sink casting a beautiful glow on your -”

She cut him off by grabbing his lips and pushing them together to create a duck face.

“It’s hard,” he said, his voice muffled and his words slurred. “But I can still talk.”

She smiled and then let out a whistle that had their two dogs sprinting into the room moments later. The second the dogs spotted him, they started barking loudly and jumping around his feet. She was forced to let go of his lips and take a step back to not be trampled by his mutt, Dodger, and her English Bulldog, Daisy.

“Hey kids,” he said, laughing as he got down on his knees to greet the excited pups. He gave Dodger a hug and then rubbed Daisy’s belly when she rolled onto her back. “Your momma isn’t being very nice to me, Daisy.”

“You could have called to say you were on your way home,” Ellie pointed out. “A text wouldn’t have hurt either.”

“I just wanted to surprise you,” he replied, looking up at her. “Besides, I didn’t know until yesterday afternoon that I was even coming to California today. It was kind of a last minute thing.”

Ellie’s expression softened as she recalled the photos that had been sent to her today. Her fiance had the biggest heart and loved making people smile. Reaching her hand out, she helped him off the floor and then wrapped her arms around his waist, settling her head on his chest. “I’m so happy you’re home.”

“I’m happy to be home,” he said, wrapping his arms around her. “Six weeks is a really long time to be gone.”

“Way too long,” she agreed, breathing in the spicy, woodsy scent of him.

They had experienced longer absences, but they hadn’t been engaged let alone dating. She had just been his housekeeper; the one his mom had hired behind his back for his home in LA. She recalled that during her interview, his mom had explained that she wasn’t impressed with Chris or his brother Scott’s inability to clean up after themselves and that she was tired of showing up for vacation to find a messy house.

Chris had been understandably annoyed with his mom’s “underhanded approach”, especially since she’d hired an attractive young woman in her late twenties, but then he’d gotten to know Ellie and there had been a spark. His mom always claimed to have a sixth sense about things like this and he knew she would never let him forget that she had hand picked her only daughter-in-law.

He knew that Ellie was his mom’s dream daughter-in-law, too; mostly because she loved to completely redecorate a room as much as his mom did. Ellie had just moved in with him, permanently, before he left to film Captain America: Civil War and his mom had stayed with her for a couple weeks. He’d come home to find his, rather their, bedroom completely redone. He’d liked what they had done and he’d be the first to admit it looked a lot better than what he’d originally had. But it was only thanks to his brother and Ellie’s uncle that he hadn’t come home to the interior of his house painted with brightly colored accent walls. The only room with that special treatment was the breakfast nook that was a “sunny shade of yellow” as Ellie described it.

“Alright, so what did you and my mom do while she was visiting?” Chris asked Ellie. When she tried to dodge the question by drawing herself up on her tiptoes to give him a kiss, he stole her duck face move and did it to her. “What did you do?”

“We redid the basement,” she replied, her words just as muffled and hard to understand as his had been earlier.

Chris held her lips together for a second longer before dropping his hand and grabbing hers. “Alright, let’s go see what you two did.” He led her down the stairs to the daylight basement, with the dogs following at their heels.

What he found stopped him in his tracks, forcing a bumper car like collision behind him with Ellie and the dogs. What had once been a long, narrow room with his home theater system in the very center and boxes piled up on the far ends, was now a smaller movie room with two walls splitting off, what he assumed, were two smaller rooms.

“They’re retracting walls,” Ellie explained. “My craft room is to the left and your office is on the right.” She slipped past him on the stairs and made her way to the wall that separated her craft room from the rest of the room. She unlatched a couple hooks then grabbed a hidden rod and started walking backwards. As he watched, a small, yet functional craft room was revealed. Then she crossed the room and removed the wall that separated his office from the larger room.

“Ellie, this is fantastic,” he said, noticing that he could easily work from his desk and watch TV as well as watch her working in her craft room. “It’s perfect.”

This time when she came looking for a kiss, he didn’t deny her. Their kiss was filled with six long weeks of being apart; wait, scratch that, seven weeks, as his family and friends had been here and they’d been too tired to do anything but sleep at night. The last time they’d been together had been a few hours before his red eye flight for the Asian part of press tour and it had been limited to a quickie in the shower.

Filled with need, he picked her up and carried her to the large island-style work table in her craft room. Setting her down on the edge, he quickly found that it was the perfect height for her to sit on and him to stand between her legs with their most needy parts front and center. It made him wonder if it was just a coincidence or a purposely designed that way.

“Your desk is the same height,” she whispered in his ear and then scraped the lobe with her teeth.

“Fuck,” he groaned as he grabbed hold of her left knee with one hand, placed his other hand on the small of her back then pulled her body closer to his, letting her feel the hardness hidden in his jeans.

Hungrily, their mouths met again and their kisses grew heated quickly; the time they spent apart enhancing every feeling and need. In no time at all, her hands slipped from around his neck to the buttons of his shirt. His mouth left hers and he kissed down the side of her neck to the exposed skin of her wide-necked sweater.

After undoing the last button of his shirt, she pushed the sleeves down his arms where he finished the job of taking it off. With lust filled eyes, she took in his chiseled chest, brushing her fingers over his many tattoos and loving the way his chest hair felt against her fingers.

“God I’ve missed your touch,” he said, huskily. He breathed in deeply, taking in the fruity smell of her perfume and the natural essence that was her. “And your smell.” He kissed her neck. “And your neck.” He pulled down the front of her shirt, revealing the cleavage of her ample chest. “And, fuck, your breasts.”

She sunk her teeth into her lower lip as he pressed his face into her cleavage, nipping and licking at her sensitive skin. When one of his hands moved down to the hem of her sweatshirt and started pulling it up, she grabbed the other side and helped him, revealing a lacy, black bra.

The sweatshirt fell aside as her self-proclaimed “ass man” of a boyfriend cupped her breasts and licked his lips. His thumbs found her nipples over her bra, making them harder than their already pebbled state. Moving his hands to her back, he undid the four hooks of her bra and then slipped the straps down her arms, freeing her breasts.

His large hands touched her newly exposed skin with care, taking the time to tease her nipples while also letting his fingers wander, sending shivers down her spine. She wrapped her hands around his head, locking her fingers together when his mouth joined the fun.

With heat pooling between her legs and unable to sit still any longer, she dropped her hands from his head down to the waistband of his jeans. She popped the button then slid the zipper down and slipped her hand into them, wrapping her hand around his already hard cock.

“Fuck,” he groaned, breathing against her breast. He allowed her to jerk him a couple times before he grabbed her wrist and forced her to let go. “Seven weeks, babe. I want to come inyou, not on you.”

“Less talk, more action,” she replied, giving him a heated look.

Smirking, he grabbed the waistband of her yoga pants and pulled them down, forcing her to lay back against the cool table top so she could lift her hips to help. He pulled the pants down her legs and dropped them on the floor. Then he ran his eyes up her body, starting with the sexy black booty shorts she was wearing and up her curvy body to her smiling face.

Reaching up, he gave her left breast a playful squeeze and a little shake, making it jiggle for his pleasure. Then he got back to business and slipped his hands under the waistband of her panties. She raised her hips to help him get them over her ass and then he pulled them down her legs.

He licked his lips as she parted her legs, revealing the pink heat that he’d dreamt about since the quickie in their shower. He wrapped his hands around her knees and pulled her forward so her ass was just on the edge of the table. He felt her body tremor as he slowly moved his hands from her knees up to her thighs and to her apex.

“Chris… please…” he heard her whimper.

She cried out when his hands finally touched the outer edges of her sex and then slipped between her already slick folds. She rocked her hips forward to encourage his movements and he obliged by brushing his thumb against her clit and then circling around it. Her hips bucked off the table top when he did it again.

She let out a breathless whimper when he slid his long fingers through her folds and finallyslipped one into her sex. She rocked her hips forward as he fucked her with his digit and then a second.

“FUCK!” she cried out as he swiped her clit with his tongue. Her body shook as he pleasured her with his fingers and tongue. She threw her hand down to grab his hair, temporarily forgetting that he’d shaved off the locks. “Oh god… Chris…. Please, just fuck me.”

He gave her clit another swirl with his tongue before he righted himself and pulled her in for a kiss. He felt her hand slip between their bodies and take ahold of his throbbing cock. She guided him to her entrance and he pushed his hips forward, slipping into her sex. Their kisses continued as their bodies rocked together and she clung to him, her fingernails biting into the skin on his shoulders.

She soon found herself being pushed backwards so she was laying on her back with him leaning down over her; the pace of his thrusts speeding up with each one. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held onto him as he pounded in and out of her.

The weeks apart and his earlier teasing had her falling apart first with her body stiffening all the way to her toes as she came. Just as her body began to relax, his tightened above her and she felt the small jerks of his body as he came inside of her.

Breathing heavily, he rested his face against her breasts and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of being enveloped by her. His legs felt a bit rubbery and he hadn’t thought about the post sex positions, but he refused to move until he absolutely had to.

“I think your office chair and desk will be more comfortable,” she said with a laugh a few minutes later.

“I don’t know, I’m pretty comfortable right here,” he said, rubbing his bearded chin against the skin of her breasts.

“We’ll both be comfortable in our nice big comfortable bed,” she replied, running her hand over his buzzed hair.

“Alright,” he said, sighing. He pressed a kiss to her lips and then they parted. He didn’t admit it outloud, but his back twinged a bit as he straightened up.

“You going to need a massage tomorrow?” she asked with a knowing smirk as she rolled her neck one way and then the other. “Should we call Robert?”

“Shut up,” he replied as she hopped off the table. He watched as she bent over to grab his shirt off the floor and he took the opportunity to smack her bare ass playfully.

“Hey!” she exclaimed, standing up quickly. “Two can play that game you know.”

“That’s a game you know I like,” he replied, wiggling his eyebrows at her. “Day or night.”

“Oh I know,” she said smirking as she pressed her body against his. “So here’s what we’re going to do.” She bit her lip and looked up at him. “Are you listening?”

“I’m all ears, babe.”

“I’m going to go upstairs to our room and get in the shower,” she said, moving one of her hands around his waist and settling it on his tight ass. “And you…” she drew her tongue along the tattoo he had on his clavicle. “…you’re going to let the dogs out to go potty.”

He groaned as she pulled her body away suddenly and he watched as she slipped his shirt on then left the basement with an extra sway in her step.

He took a few deep, calming breaths and then gathered their clothes from the floor, knowing he would be sent back down to get them if he went to the bedroom without them. Using the clothes as a cover for his half-aroused cock, he opened the sliding door and let the dogs out to do their business.

Once they returned, he took time to properly lock up the house for the night and then headed up the stairs to the bedroom he and Ellie shared. The dogs made to follow him into the room, but he stopped them in the doorway. “Sorry, kids, not tonight. Mommy and daddy need privacy. Go lay on your beds.” Both dogs gave him sad looks but retreated to the small alcove in the hallway that Ellie had converted into a small reading nook. “Good dogs.”

Closing the bedroom door behind him, Chris tossed their clothes into the hamper in the walk-in-closet and then made his way into the bathroom. The glass surround of the shower was already steamed over as he opened the large door and slipped into the shower behind her.

“I love you,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“I love you, too,” she replied, turning in his arms to kiss him.

Episode 1.5

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!

#chris evans #theycallmebecca #beccaheartschrisevans #theycallmebeccawrites #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans fan fiction #chris and ellie series #chris and ellie #chris evans x ofc #chris evans x original female character

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