#ೃ⁀➷ butcher's buddies

[shipmanisms]

sillay puppyre ! jackie 4 @butchreg !!! needed 2 give oomfie a present cuz they gave me such an awesomesauce present X3

nsfw blogs DNI !

[shipmanisms]

EEEEEEEKKKKKK !!!!!!!! ARF ARF RUFFFF THIS IS SO FWEAKINF AWESOMESAUCE IM GOING SUPER DUPER INSANE X333 GUYSSSSS DIS IS SO FREAKING GOOD PLS HYPE THIS UP

puppy ! shauna with cg ! jackie headcanons !!

requested by anon ;3 . normally i only write tiny jackie because i'm literally jackie ( fur real ) and we both itty bitty but the only time jackie goes mama mode is when her shaunie is pup regressed. my sillies i luv dem so bad they rot my brain every second of every day. previous puppy ! shauna headcanons here , yellowjackets masterlist here , upcoming list here

jackie who calls shauna "shaunie" and her puppy primarily. this makes shauna so shy and giggly , "mamaaaa," she'll whine hiding her face if they're around other members of the team. she acts embarrassed but her tail is wagging like crazy.

if shauna's in trouble she's "shipman" or "shauna". jackie doesn't full name her , it feels like too much to her when shauna's not meaning any harm. jackie's not really a stern person but when she's taking care of her puppy she does try her hand at a warning tone often.

shauna whose puppy eyes are lethal. jackie can never say no to them. she'll try to but break eventually , "awwwhaha, fine shaunie you're so adorable," she'll say with a chuckle.

jackie babytalks to her pup , something the rest of the team pokes fun at. "awwwwe who's mommy's wittle girl," mari will joke , pouting at shauna. shauna who growls at her , snapping her teeth at the girl. she's not afraid to bite anyone who says something mean or poking fun at her or her mama.

shauna who sits or lays by jackie's feet whining because she wants pets. jackie who will coo over the puppy , scratching her behind the ears and under her chin. shauna who will pant happily , eyes closed and bum wagging.

shauna who is feisty and a bit naughty around her other teammates but is the most well behaved and obedient pup with her mama. she's always fetching things for jackie , bringing her little presents like jackie's brush or one of shauna's gloves from lottie. sometimes she'll push back against the rules jackie has written out for her if she's feeling fussy and wants jackie's attention but typically she's very well behaved for her.

shauna who will turn in circles on her little bed before going to sleep curled up next to jackie. if she's feeling sleepy and jackie's not coming to bed she'll whine , picking up jackie's teddy in her mouth and bringing it to her , dropping it in her lap. jackie will laugh , stopping what she's doing immediately. "looks like i'm being called to bed," she'll tell her teammates , giving shauna a little kiss on the nose.

shauna wants a collar soooo badly , one with jackie's name on her tags. she sometimes will wear an old choker of nat's that she stole from him when they were younger. nat laughs when he sees this. "hey , i always wondered what happened to that !" he'll exclaim , chuckling and patting shauna's head.

jackie who finds out shauna stole it and is shocked. "shauna !" she gasps , scolding her profusely. she tries to make shauna give it back to nat , shauna sheepishly bringing it over in her mouth but he waves his hand , dismissing the idea. "naahh , it's been years since i wore those. she can keep it , i don't mind." shauna is very pleased by this , wagging her tail and beaming at jackie.

shauna chewing up someone's shoes or clothes or blankets when she's mad. naughty naughty girl. mari who finds a hole chewed in her favorite sweatshirt and yells. shauna who smiles to herself , giggling , proud of her handiwork. jackie who finds out and scolds her little troublemaker , forcing her to apologize. shauna who hangs her head and does as she's told but giggles as she's walking away.

jackie who soothes her baby after every time she has to scold her , not able to stay mad especially when shauna cries or sulks afterwards. "shhhh shhh. quiet now , shaunie. mama loves you very much , okay ? even when you do naughty things , mhmm," she'll hum when shauna questions her. "i wouldn't trade you for anything , baby. mama loves her naughty pup," she'll say , giggling and chucking shauna's chin.

[ink-incorporated-official]

How would a studio drinking party end up? Who’s sober who’s lost a shoe who’s so drunk there making out with the plant thinking it’s somebody else?

(I reckon no one here has had alcohol in decades so if they ever did find some, it would not go well.)

Hour One

Hour Two

Hour Three

Lesson learned: Do not peer pressure the near all-powerful man who has never had alcohol into chugging one

(I spent like 10 days or something procrastinating on this even though it was fun. Thanks for the ask!)

[cherry-flavored-sigh]

ok but listen...

same

[videoviolence]

BIG STRONG BOSS, BREAK MY BACK, BLOOD RUNS BLACK.

[starblitzy-started-a-fire]

Just two college pals.

[erensonly]

You know how ghost always has his mask on, what would be reader reaction seeing ghosts face for the first time but in a way she doesn't know its him and she goes like "who the fuck is that??? 🤨🤨🤨🤨"

🍒anon

butcher shop buddies (simon riley x reader)

i dont know why i laughed so hard at this. thanks for the ask!! oh can i call you cherry-berry anon?

warnings: fluff, ooc ghost, not proofread sorry, use of 'pretty' and 'cute', no use of pronouns but i may use them in future parts, dad joke, probably incorrect butcher information, i was hungry writing this.

please feel free to message me and let me know if i missed any warnings

----

maybe reader is a civvie and she frequents this one particular butcher shop so you can get meat packages for cheap. this is the first time you see ghost. he's standing in front of the case of meats trying to determine which cut of steak he wanted, while you were there seeing if the people on tiktok were serious about meat packages being cheap. groceries are getting too expensive and you wanted to try your hand at birria tacos.

while taking a look around, you didn't notice the larger man inching closer to you. "d'ya know which cut you're looking for?" naturally, you flinch an take a step back. what is this mammoth of a man doing bending down to your level to help you look for meat? but his accent is silly but pleasing to listen to, so you give him a vague answer. "kinda," you say with a shrug.

"i heard they do these packages of meats that can last me a while. and i've been craving birria tacos, so i need beef for that as well." he silently just leads you to the other side of the case and starts talking to the man standing there. it's like they've known each other for a while. you tune them out to make sure you have everything else checked off of your mental grocery list. when you tune back in, the butcher is slicing some meats up and the man was still standing there.

"thank you so much for your help." this was directed at both men, but only the butcher responded with a "you're welcome" while the other man just nodded at you, before taking his purchase and leaving the store. what a strange man.

this is how you guys started to see each other at least once a month at the same butcher shop/supermarket. he had introduced himself to you as ghost before telling you that you could call him simon. he was actually a kinda funny guy. easy to misunderstand his jokes if you dwell on it too long, but also easy to laugh at if you share the same sense of dry humor. he didn't have much to say at first, cracking jokes at the wrong times, but other than that, there was nothing else for him to say.

i feel like ghost doesn't stop yapping around people that he's comfortable with. like he talks about everything and nothing at the same time. this is how you came to find out that he was in the military, he has family but they're the men from his task force, he travels for work often, and knows every dad joke to ever exist. he's a simple man.

he thrives on routine and familiarity. he makes it a habit to meet you once or twice a month at the shops, go grab a coffee -tea for him- and have a good conversation before going about his day. you ask for his number so you can communicate with him outside of your mini meet-ups and he agrees. now you send whatever meme made you laugh that day and a picture of what you were doing, and he sends you a joke of the day and picture of what he was doing.

he liked getting your cute selfies showing your outfit of the day, or the puzzle you finally completed after losing a piece a month ago, or his personal favorite pictures of you cuddled up with your cat pawl.

i feel like simon is a dog person outwardly, but he didn't realize how much he actually liked cats because he never had one growing up. so seeing you all cozy and pretty with your cat trying to escape your kiss, simon felt like he finally had something to look forward to. now he wanted you to see him for him.

when you walk into the shop, you're expecting simon to be waiting at the counter like he always did, chatting it up with his butcher friend. but instead, you see a blonde man with a black medical mask on talking to the butcher. maybe he's just late.

you walk to your normal spot to wait when the man turns to you and speaks. "how ya doin' today, love?" it startled you. who is this man and why is his voice familiar and why is he so attractive. "who the hell are you?" you couldn't help the confusion on your face; why is he talking to you. he just laughs and laughs, obviously finding your confusion hilarious.

"what did baby corn say to mama corn?" you were more confused. who's baby and mama corn? "go on," you encourage.

"where's pop corn?" this set you off. laughing louder than you probably should. "simon, how are you, darling?" you both had endearing names for each other even though you were just friends. it just came naturally.

"hungry. wanna stop at this one diner i know? they have amazing burgers."

that's how you find yourself eating a cheeseburger with simon who has taken his mask off by now. he was a very attractive man, not that you doubted it before. sharp square shaped jawline, crooked nose from being broken too many times, beautiful honey brown eyes contrasted by his long blonde lashes. he had a mole on the side of his nose, and scars on his face but they only added to his ruggedness; his attractiveness.. it didn't help that he was 6"4 with big strong arms, nice sized pecs, and on the rare occasion he would send you a mirror selfie without a hoodie on, you could see through his shirt that he had a nice soft belly. (my personal favorite build)

you were glad he was comfortable enough with you to be willingly vulnerable with you. maybe this relationship could escalate so much more.

----

should i make more parts to this? i already have a few ideas.

[zurdurer]

I actually love Marie so much she's such a comforting character to me so here's sooome Marie appreciation :]]

Mr Collins sir please, Mr Dennis Collins sir! It's bad how attached to him I am also yeah these drawings are basically the same thing but I drew them in different sketchbooks entirely and have a shit memory so it's fine

Get noeled too (gnashing my teeth at him)

I can't be normal about oscar,, long hair oscar save me,, I need to bundle him in blankets and sleep on top of him because uaaghh get this guy some good rest

And Yorick as a treat for dealing w my ramblings

[diazsdimples]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday

So, got something a little new this Tuesday. Hi and welcome to the first snippet of my attempt at podficcing. I'm recording my fic In a drought I'll give you water, mostly because @daffi-990 told me I have a bedroom voice (I still haven't recovered from that btw). So yeah, please enjoy this mostly safe for work snippet, and depending on how this goes I might share some of the smut later dsfkjhs

Tagged for Tuesday by @loveyouanyway and @theotherbuckley thanks friiiends

Fic snippet/transcript below the cut

Eddie’s not sure how long he waits for Buck to get home but he’s pretty sure it’s well after 3 when he finally hears the front door open, and it couldn’t have come sooner. The anticipation has been killing him, especially as his cock slowly began to fill out against his thigh as he thought about all the delicious things he and Buck were going to get up to. Getting out of his underwear had been the hardest part, but after much scooching up and down the bed like an inverted caterpillar, his underwear slipping further and further down his thighs with each wriggle, they were finally around his ankles and he could kick them off. The friction of them scraping over the already-sensitive head of his cock had been maddening, and ever since Eddie’s been at half mast, patiently waiting for Buck to get home. “Hey babe, I’m back!” Buck calls down the hall and Eddie feels a sudden rush of apprehension. What if he’s bought Maddie home with him? What if, heaven forbid, he’s agreed to babysit Jee and their adorable niece is currently sitting in his arms, about to be scarred for life at the sight of her Tio, tied up and erect? “I- I’m in the bedroom!” he yells back, cursing the obvious quaver in his voice. He hears Buck’s footsteps echo down the hall, and Buck starts to tell Eddie about his visit. “Maddie’s really going through it right now, apparently Jee’s learned how to open doors and is using this new skill for evil. She’s walked in on her and Chim having sex twice, could you imagine? I told her to invest in a lock, ya know, just in case and she –“ Buck appears from behind the bedroom door (thankfully sans niece) and grinds to a halt as he sees Eddie, completely naked, cock resting hard against his stomach, with pink cheeks and an almost guilty grin on his face. “Woah. You’re – um – wow Eds, that is hot.” Eddie’s damn lucky he’s tied up because the urge to do jazz hands and go “surprise” is overwhelming. “You like?” he settles for instead and feels slightly giddy as he watches Buck’s Adam’s apple bob as he swallows thickly. “Jesus, yeah, you look gorgeous,” Buck says breathlessly, and he begins to slowly make his way towards Eddie, his eyes skittering up and down his body as if drinking in every inch of his boyfriend. Eddie’s not usually much for attention but when he’s like this, laid out all nice and pretty especially for his boyfriend to do with as he pleases, he fucking preens.

No pressure tagging @hippolotamus @daffi-990 (thanks again queen) @watchyourbuck @neverevan @bidisasterevankinard

@babybibuck @aroeddiediaz @spotsandsocks @bibuckbuckgoose @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove

@nmcggg @jesuisici33 @wikiangela @cal-daisies-and-briars @exhuastedpigeon

@epicbuddieficrecs @kitteneddiediaz @hermscat @thekristen999 @slightlyobsessedwitheverything

@actuallyitsellie @idealuk @dangerpronebuddie @simpingforhotfictionalcharacters @loserdiaz

@elvensorceress @underwaterninja13 @rainbow-nerdss @smilingbuckley @steadfastsaturnsrings

@thewolvesof1998 @spagheddiediaz @emilybahu

[kedreeva]

On one side of me is an elderly couple I never see, and to the other side down the road is a little 4-spot apartment complex we call The 4plex. It's very small- I've only been in one of them, but it was basically a 1-bedroom apartment. I have only met a couple of the tenants, ever, since I mind my own business and they mind theirs. A long while back, there was a couple there that used to have screaming matches in the middle of the night (11pm-1am usually). They disappeared shortly after I stormed the castle at 4am because someone was blasting her horn trying to get the tenant to come fight her. at 4am on a workday.

I have also never met the person who actually owns the 4plex. Today I heard a bunch of commotion over there, construction sounds or at least lots of sawing, and big machinery, so I took Bug out to go see what we could see. We found a bunch of trucks trimming and cutting down trees. Not bad, the pines over there cause me problems if a bird gets out. So I turn and go to get the mail before heading back in.

I'm about halfway across my property when I hear someone calling me. not by name, so I turn to see Some Guy bolting across my orchard to catch up to me. I stop, and he comes up slower and introduces himself as the owner of the 4plex, and explains that he's cleaning up the property, the trees and removing the old sheds no one uses, and getting ready to sell it. I introduced myself, and as if we are in a grocery store checkout line, he begins to tell me a bunch of information while I nod along, and when I notice Bug is under his feet, I ask him to hold still, and point her out. He had not noticed her at all.

I scooped her up and introduced her, and let him hold her. He took a few pictures and I said, she's a baby peacock. That's when something clicked and he went from kind of tired and polite to excited and happy. He took more pictures. I offered to let him come see the other birds, so he came back and pet Stan, and fed Indie some peanuts out of his hand. I gave him the peafowl eggs I found in the pens we visited, and a dozen quail eggs from the quail, and sent him on his way, assuming I would likely never see him again.

just now I was out in Indie's pen, lying in the grass with Bug, watching the puffy white clouds inch across the clear blue sky, and listening to a little finch sing his heart out on a mulberry branch above me. Indie was preening nearby. Absolute peace.

Someone starts shouting my name from my driveway. It's Some Guy 4plex owner. He has returned. I call that I'm out in the pens, without getting up at all. He comes out and he's got a bag with him and he tells me I had got him an eggcellent breakfast, and really made his day (his week, his month), so he'd brought me a steak for dinner, and some corn. He sets down the bag and crouches to say hello to Bug again, and then tells me he showed his pictures to his sister in Texas and she didn't know what baby peafowl look like, either. Then said he's off to pay the tree removal folks, and disappeared again.

This is like the third interaction with neighbors I've had this month, after not talking to them for 10 years. I don't know what is going on.

[gingermintpepper]

Hi!! I don't know if you remember me, but I'm the person you explained the Castalia thing to a few days ago. I've been following you for a while now, but I just managed to go through your blog well and proper, and I'm here to express both my gratitude for the amount of info and links you've shared (I did NOT know about the hepatoscopy and haruspicy, and I'm about to go down a lengthy rabbit hole) and my horror at once again being given a new hyperfixation (I didn't imagine wanting to read about liver-divination help).

Also, also, are you the author of Exeunt Phoebus Apollo on AO3 because that was the fic that sent me on this greek mythology spree, and it's so good I got obsessed with Apollo, and he's everywhere around me now. Thank you for writing it!

AAAAAA THIS IS SO SWEET?? THANK YOU!! I do remember you and hey man, I'm always happy to help <33

I'm so glad to recruit someone else to my hepatoscopy group because it is a long and storied tradition with many many different types of study and schools of thought dating all the way back to the Sumerians! It's an extremely underrated bit of study when it comes to sketching portraits of divination and prophecy when it comes to adaptations of imaginings of greek myth works - similar to bird augury (which was such a widespread skill that most people had some level of understanding of the basics of what the omens of common birds meant the way people now can look at the clouds over head and know if it'll rain and when approximately that rain'll happen).

It's a great and common misunderstanding that things like prophecy and magic were these fantastic elements that had no tangible features to their practices and while there's nothing wrong with interpreting things as more fantastical for the sake of coolness or aesthetic, I personally think these elements are interesting enough to be worth looking into and portraying!

Also yes, I did write Exeunt 😳I'm very very honoured that you enjoyed my work so much and I'm even more grateful that it could let you see the Apollo in everything 💖 Thank you for reading it!!

[shipmanisms]

hops over to you and sniffs you curiously ^,^ - 𓃹

HIII JAX !!!! dis is me n u for realsies

[labyrinth-guard]

Heehee my faveotie creatures

[sharonisthebettercarter]

his eyes are so big and wide and sweet and i can't.

also this motherfucker legit has cat eyes and i can't.

[angeltannis]

I never think I have a Bostonian accent…then my mom tries to phonetically write out characters I’ve been telling her about

[bi-bi-buckleys]

there’s a scene in the high school reunion episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia where the gang puts on this incredible dance performance and everyone is impressed and cheering but then it cuts to reality which is they’re very drunk and stumbling and Mac is just screaming weakly with his shirt off and Frank pukes in a bucket and everyone watching is horrified and Detective Ransone is there.

that’s what I need for the Buddie karaoke scene.