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Day twenty-nine of fic NaNoWriMo, obligatory sugar daddy Tim/sugar baby Kon AU.
Kon disassembles his sand castle back into the original pattern without looking, Tim experiences multiple internal crisises, and someone passes by with a tray of hors d'oeuvres. Tim, in self-defense, grabs a couple of the little crostini things on said tray and offers one to Kon, who looks pleased about it.
“I dunno, does this count as a party?” Kon asks, glancing around with a little grin before popping his hors d'oeuvre into his mouth. Tim does the same, then remembers this means that now he knows what Kon’s mouth tastes like again. Dammit.
Kon’s mouth currently tastes like ricotta and roasted grape, which isn’t even necessarily a taste that especially appeals to Tim, aside from the part where it’s how Kon’s mouth currently tastes. Why do people even roast grapes? Why is that even a thing?
Why does Kon look so attractive in slightly smudged eyeliner he put on for him and clothes he bought him? Like–Kon always looks attractive, it’s an incredibly unfortunate curse on the world, reflexively checking out his ass in spandex literally did get Tim thrown off a roof once, but this attractive? This is several new layers of “attractive” and Kon is wearing all of them like a second skin. A very tight and fitted and well-tailored second skin, to be specific. One with cutouts and short-shorts involved.
This metaphor may be getting away from him.
“Technically I think so, though maybe not the usual kind,” Tim says. “I mean, it’s sort of a party, it’s just mostly an event. Maybe they want donations or something, I don’t know. Museums usually do.”
He assumes that’s what the ticket money went to, or at least a fair chunk of it. They were pretty expensive tickets, considering, but since it’s an adults-only special event that isn't obviously themed in either a rogue-baiting or rogue-planned way he hadn't really questioned it. Getting overcharged by a probably-underfunded art museum isn't exactly enough to trot out his inner Bat or inner future supervillain for.
Well, as long as nobody on staff annoys or insults Kon, anyway. Because in that case he will be financially destroying this place. Like, obviously. It's a little early to be planning his supervillain calling cards, but “you know what you did” is an increasingly tempting option.
Anyway, that's just a contingency plan. Totally unnecessary as long as Kon has a good time.
“What’s over there?” Kon asks, peering towards another station. Tim wonders why he’s asking, since he assumes he can feel it, though in retrospect “feeling” whatever it is doesn’t necessarily explain the purpose or point of whatever it is.
“No idea,” Tim says. “Why, does it feel interesting?”
“Um.” Kon . . . hesitates, then glances back to him, looking oddly–embarrassed, almost? Weird, Tim thinks, repressing a frown. “It’s, uh . . . kinda, I guess. I dunno. Wanna check it out?”
“Sure,” Tim says, peering towards it. It looks like a series of boxes with holes in them all stacked on top of each other, though he can’t see what’s actually inside them–there’s curtains or something built into them. He’s not really sure what the whole setup’s supposed to be, honestly, but if Kon’s interested . . .
They head over, and it turns out the whole setup is basically the same theory as those haunted houses where they make you stick your hand in a box full of peeled grapes and cooked spaghetti and tell you they’re eyeballs and brains, although Tim is hoping peeled grapes and cooked spaghetti won’t actually be involved.
“So there’s literally zero surprises here for you, I’m guessing,” Tim says wryly. Kon looks sheepish.
“We can go do something else,” he says.
“I mean, I’ll be surprised,” Tim points out. “So up to you if you’re interested or not.”
“Okay, point, I guess,” Kon says, laughing a little and rubbing his arm self-consciously. “I dunno.”
“Tell me which one to try?” Tim suggests, smiling at him. Kon laughs again, ducking his head to hide a grin. That continues to not be as effective as he probably wants it to be, given their height difference, but Tim has no intention of pointing that out. He doesn’t want to make Kon more self-conscious, and also it’s fucking adorable.
Bastard.
“You sure about that?” Kon says, his grin turning sly as he glances back towards him. “You don’t know what’s in there, babe.”
“I’m willing to live a little dangerously,” Tim replies with an easy shrug. Kon laughs again.
“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” he teases.
Tim quickly regrets letting Kon pick which boxes he should stick his hands in via trying said boxes, but also Kon just looks so fucking cute laughing at the different faces he makes for every one, so it’s hard to actually get annoyed about it. Also, Kon admittedly did warn him.
Although he might’ve rather put up with the peeled grapes and cooked spaghetti, honestly.
Seriously. Those are some textures, ugh.
#timkon#tim drake#kon el#conner kent#dc robin#superboy#young justice#young just us#long post#wip: obligatory sugar baby kon
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Hello again!!
It's time for the next retrospective of my very first fan-fiction, True Friends. Truth be told, I've been having the time of my life doing these and I hope you've been enjoying it as well!
Today we're going through chapters 4 and 5!
As a quick reminder, you can click on the banners to read the chapters in full. Otherwise, I'll be giving a commentary about them. I'll talk about the good, the bad, and the things I've learned along the way.
Thanks so much for reading! Let's get started.
Oh ho ho! Guys, it has begun! Past me has started to realize how much fun it is to be on Destiny Islands. No more are we in a rush to leave and get into the game. The pacing comes to a weird bump here that can't decide if it wants to stay or go.
This is also where we learn that Hinata can fight. Or really, we learn she has a really strange problem. When she sees weapons on display, she just grabs them and does a random routine with them... As people do...? Totally normal, human response. Right?
Oh Hinata, I did you dirty.
I was wracking my head to explain how all these kids on this island knew how to fight. I have kids. They don't know how to fight with wooden swords. They pretend they do, but they aren't good! Don't tell them I said that.
There was a rewrite of True Friends I toyed around with, where Riku carved all the weapons out of wood as a hobby. And it was a sort of passion of his that passed around through the rest of the kids as they all get their own personalized weapons. Maybe that could work, but it took too much work to really keep up on and still didn't explain where the fighting skills came from. So I settled with the sparring class. But that still doesn't completely make sense. That is dangerous stuff! What school has a sparring class? Did I miss that elective in school?
Please people. Tell me your secrets. How do these teenagers know how to fight so well? In my story, Hinata got specialized training for specific purposes. It makes sense for her. Doesn't make tons of sense on the island, but... woah, I am going off on a rambling rant aren't I?
If I ever do a full rewrite, I will find a reason. A believable reason for them to know how to fight. Mark my words!
I will leave this chapter with the author's note I left there back then:
***Author's Note- I wanted to share something silly with all of you. My husband was editing my story as I was making dinner last night, and when I came back to read over his corrections he added a nice little tid-bit for me. I don't know if you all will appreciate it like I did, but I thought it was hilarious:
"Okay everyone," Mr. Zhao looked over the entire group of students, "You know how this works, since it's a Monday I want each of you to choose a sparring partner and your weapon and practice! Remember, today is rocket day! Each of you grab a launcher, and do your best not to get blown to bits! Anyone who explodes gets an F!"
Riku nodded, he was well familiar with rocket day and had been patiently awaiting its arrival. Today, Sora was getting an F.
Thanks for reading! ***
This was one of many of my husband's amazingly hilarious inserts. He always made me laugh while editing my stories, never criticized how corny or cheesy anything was. He's an incredible writer, but never tore me down. Just kept telling me to keep going. I wanted to share this little gem, even as a retrospective.
I love how this chapter title insinuates things have taken a long time to get here. Literally nothing has taken a moment to breathe since the story started.
I realized just now I rag on this story for both going too fast and for slowing down too much during it's time in Destiny Islands. I think what gets to me is how so little happens during the time on the islands. It's time that could be used better. And that is going to be a running theme for a lot of the series!
The chapters have been relatively short. The details are curt and to the point, but the actions don't lead to much. That said, I remember getting oh so giddy when Riku first grabbed Hinata's hand. Oh the butterflies were real!
They were being open with each other and it was raining! I was so into this scene when I wrote it. I remember reading it over and over again afterwards, as if it were some form of love letter.
And that's not even mentioning their first spar fight! This was a moment my husband and I discussed. It was important to me that I showed that Hinata wasn't as powerful as Riku. I didn't want to have an overpowered character. She was competent, but not so competent that she could wipe the floor with other characters. And that's something I've always kept true for her. She and Riku still spar with each other, and now she's able to win a round or two every here and there. They're always going to be similar power levels.
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20 questions for fic authors
Thank you for tagging me, @candyskiez!!! I shall use this wisely (to procrastinate. And to ramble because I love rambling). Tagging @pascal-oswell @justmagicalgirl and @drbtinglecannon if you wanna do it, if not, that's okay!
1. How many fics do you have on ao3?
36, which would probably be insane to me a couple of years ago, but they're nothing compared to the amount of wips I have, enlisted or not (please, send help).
2. What's your total ao3 word count?
170,058! Nice
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Mainly The Owl House.
I have a couple of fics for the Shadowhunter Chronicles, mostly The Last Hours (though I do have a Wicked Powers wip) but I haven't had the most pleasant experiences in the TSC fandom so that'll probably be it.
Oh! I do have 4-ish Mob Psycho 100 fics in the works and a Star Wars one.
4. What are your top five fics by kudos?
So, what was your name again? No surprises there, it's still lowkey insane to me how much attention that one got
Sentimental, grieving to survive: I think we all were longing for the family reunions after Thanks to Them, so I get it too
Operation 'Make Darius like me': If I had to pick something as my fic writing legacy, it would be Hunter causing Darius psychic damage by saying"meow-meow" in the most deadpan expression in the world
Long lost lies: I remember being sooo excited to write this one and then having a mental illness episode in the middle of it so overall it's funny it came out nice
An unsung melody, mine for safekeeping: I think this was like my third fic??? And it's just pure fluff so... really nice to have it here
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
I do! I cherish each comment dearly so I try to reply to them all within the week. Though I have been going Through It the past couple of months, so I've been falling behind on that :( I love them tho, I'm kinda sad when I don't get any
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Okay, it's either "Loyalty Binds you" or one of my puppet Dadrius reunions which is, in retrospective, incredibly funny because I wrote those 3 one after the other, no hurt/comfort to be found.
I would argue the puppet ones have some hopeful undertones tho, so perhaps "Loyalty Binds you", especially because there's no hopeful ending in sight unless the whim strikes me to write it. It exists. In my head.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I write SUCH cheesy endings, you have no idea, I'm generally not one to leave things in a sad note because I'm too soft for that. But if I have to pick, I woud say "So, what was your name again?" if only because the ending is happy like in most of my fics, but this one, because it's a reunion fic, has a ecstatic sort of quality, I would say.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
I have gotten a couple of weird comments, but not hate, no.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Girl, I can barely write people kissing, this is asking too much from me. In all seriousness, I mostly write found family, so no smut here.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?
Same as candyskiez said, I prefer to write AUs in the setting of other media. I think crossovers can be fun but most of them aren't my thing, ngl.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Once as far as I know. When I went to ask the person to take it down, they deleted their whole profile so... win?
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Someone asked me once for permission to translate a fic to Russian, I believe, but I'm not sure if they went through with it.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Not really, but Will and I should really get on with the one we have planned. To be fair, I have not replied our unhinged planning in a While™ so it's mostly on me. Oops.
14. What's your all-time favorite ship?
I don't think I have one. Half of the ships I like don't compel me to read fics about them and the other half feel to fresh to even begin to compete as all-time favorite.
If I had to pick tho, I'm going with Cecilos because they meant everything to me from like 14-17.
15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?
All of them /j
Okay, kidding, I have been so exhausted lately in the writing department buuuut probably "Children of Dust and Ashes". I still love the concept and ideas I had for it but the one other person who cared about it is an ex-friend and as I mentioned before, TSC is a tricky fandom for me so I don't think I can cheerlead myself into finishing this one. I'm sorry to the like... 2 people who seemed interested.
16. What's your writing strengths?
You think I know myself that much? /j
Um. I'm gonna say characterization? I don't think it's perfect, but I do try to keep it consistent and it's something people have praised before so let's go with it.
17. What's your writing weaknesses?
In theory I know a shit ton of vocabulary. In practice, I feel like the language I use is too basic, which I blame a bit on the language barrier, and my descriptions too simple, which is a problem for me in Spanish as well, so that one is all me lmao.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?
I eat that shit up. Of course, I think it also depends on the context, keep it consistent! Like if a character canonically sprinkles their speech with words/sentences in their own language, one should absolutely strive to imitate that.
I think adding the translations at the end as a note works well.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
In general in life? Lord of the Rings, especifically, about Gimli, he was my guy.
Actually posting online? I'm. Huh. I'd rather not say... I'm willing to say the second one was Voltron Legendary Defender, so you can imagine how bad the first one must have been.
20. Favorite fic you've ever written?
"Loving Echoes (In loving memory of Emperor Belos)" is one I was super fond of when I wrote it and I still think back to it when considering my best pieces. I just really liked writing the speech/monologue there.
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i'm really sorry you're going thru such a difficult time. i know what it's like to live with a mentally ill person and it's never easy. when i was a teen i lived with my mom and step-dad and he was bipolar (divorced now thank god). it was always a minefield having to deal with him because he either was always having his meds adjusted or he decided to get off his meds because he thought he didn't need them anymore and was coping with alcohol instead. i remember once when i was 14 he had been drinking and not taking his meds and it was like 2am and he was blasting music and screaming at his cat because he said she was talking back to him. i turned the music down and was walking back to my bed when he came out of nowhere and started to choke me. thankfully my mom and his daughter had also woken up because it took them both to pull him off me. sadly that wasn't the last of him in my life, took my mom years to get strong enough to leave him.
idk how volatile your situation is, but i hope you can stay safe. it's scary how unpredictable they can be, especially when they aren't properly medicated. is there any way you could report the car stolen? because that could possibly help you start the process of having her being put on a psychiatric hold if she committed a crime/is a danger to others. or maybe it's time to tell her that she needs to make other arrangements because you cannot keep taking care of her. i know she's your mom so you probably feel an obligation to her, but your first priority should be to your own health and happiness. it feels selfish saying that, at least for me since i grew up with the mentality that you should put others first, especially elders/family. but when they are toxic and hurting you i think it's ok to be selfish.
Jesus Christ I'm sorry you had to deal with that, I know it's a nightmare at any age but when you're a kid it's extra terrifying. It's also weird to think about in retrospect, like I know how maddening it is now that I'm an adult, I know that every other adult in her life bailed because they just couldn't take it, so to be dealing with that as a child must have been so scary that my brain literally protected me from fully processing it all. And a lot of people don't realize it or don't have bipolar that's that severe, but my mom is also one whose mania can get so intense that she literally becomes delusional which is also scary af, it sucks that we both had to deal with that as children. She's a "how about I don't take meds and just drink/do my own drugs to solve my problems" type too, which again is it's own fucking nightmare because dealing with a mentally ill alcoholic is REALLY not the tea.
It's actually ironic, the other day my mom ditched me at the Taylor Swift concert we went to and she talked about a conversation she had with someone else where she sort of jokingly said that every time she disappears on me I think she's dead. It activated a weird memory that I just hadn't thought of for a while, because it's actually true, and it's because when I was a kid she would just vanish and leave me at home for sometimes days without calling or saying anything, and when she said that I just had a very vivid flashback of my childhood before I understood that this was just a thing that was going to happen and literally sat there alone, terrified, crying my eyes out and trying to stay up all night because I was too scared to go to sleep in my house by myself and literally being so sure that she didn't come home because she was dead. Which was something I went through more than once before I realized okay, she's not dead, she's just not coming home for some reason. And again, it was a weird insight into the total disconnect between us, because in her mind this is just some kooky problem I have and I was immediately like OH NOPE I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE THAT TRAUMA COMES FROM
Thankfully my mom is weak af now and I'm not though, we sort of got into it a few weeks ago and she did try to like, hurt my wrist, but she's so goddamn weak and I remembered at least enough Krav Maga to know how to hold myself steady, so we had a bizarre standoff that I think actually lowkey intimidated her or at least made her realize she can't do dick to me, because she was trying to bend my wrist with all her might using both hands and I just locked my arm completely straight and she literally could not move it. I think she could see in my eyes that I was like "mmm you sure you want this smoke asshole" and she realized she didn't.
And yes, I have been contemplating reporting my car stolen for the last hour or so because she has now been gone for almost 24 hours and has not answered her phone once even though I have called over 60 times in the last hour-ish. When or if she does come back I honestly do want to say that she should just GTFO, I mean again she's contributing absolutely nothing, she hasn't paid rent the entire time we've been here anyway and while I don't think we're ACTUALLY going to get evicted, her behavior has been kooky enough that clearly people in the building have reported it and it was enough for the landlord to send an official written warning. So like, sure, if you don't want to contribute shit and just want to go off living your manic cracked out dreams, go away and let me actually live a life without your crazy for once.
LOL and not even kidding, in the process of me writing this whole rant she finally picked up her phone, told me she'd be home in an hour, and promptly hung up on me. I'm honestly going to lose my mind.
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I am so fascinated with the throuple thing how did that happen if you feel up to talking about it if not i totally understand. The guys are dating each other too? How do the dynamics work?
haha no worries i used to be really curious about this sort of thing before it happened to me!
so, i have been married to my husband danny for quite some time (coming up on our six year anniversary yay!) and together we are working on a series of scifi novels called neokosmos. i bring this up because of course neokosmos is involved in this story sdfjhsdf
so one day in early 2020 (yeah, during covid lockdowns, what better time) a guy shows up in the neokosmos discord! his name is brian and he is 30, which we are really excited about because a lot of the people in our community are in their early 20s and danny and i were in our late twenties at the time (i'm 30 now) so we were very interested in making a friend our age! he's an awesome writer and he had amazing takes on our characters and story and so naturally i was like okay i can't let this just be a fan relationship i need to befriend this guy outside of the server! next thing you know he is writing for us, because i can never shut up about neokosmos and he is just as obsessed with it as i am.
hilariously, when we first started writing together and getting close we made a pact to "WHATEVER WE DO, DON'T FALL IN LOVE..." which... in retrospect, is exactly what you should say to someone if you want them to fall in love with you. whoops!
the three of us ended up talking every day, playing minecraft together, and chatting on discord all the time. and when we pushed our minecraft beds together... we knew something was there...
danny and i already knew we were both polyamorous so this wasn't really like a shocking revelation that we would develop feelings for someone. then one day we got the fateful BRIAN CONFESSION LETTER, he confessed fully expecting that he would be rejected and we surprised him by being like YEAH WE ARE DOWN and the three of us quickly became a triad!
so yeah, all three of us are mutually dating each other. it started off as like, married couple with a mutual boyfriend sorta deal but obviously each combo of us has our own sort of dynamics and relationship with each other. personally i get so much joy out of seeing my two partners love each other and i know danny and brian feel the same way about our various pairings.
and it all just works! being with brian has made our lives so much better and living together has been a dream. because the relationship between danny and i was already so strong it was very easy to adapt to this new dynamic and the three of us are all extremely happy now.
and if you're wondering, we have a big king sized bed we CAN all sleep in, but brian prefers to sleep in his own room so sleeping arrangements are pretty easy hahaha.
i hope that answers your question! i'm happy to answer anything else about being in a triad. it's not something we were like actively seeking out it just kind of happened! life is crazy.
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Get angry at me all you want. Someone had to say it. Literally made a tumblr just to say it.
The way Janine treats Egon in The Real Ghostbusters is honestly gross. 90% of it feels like borderline harassment and let's be honest here, some of it is. And I'm so tired of people passing it off as ushy gushy love between them.
Egon is very clearly uncomfortable with most of the things Janine does, most things she surely shouldn't get away with. Constantly grabbing at him and not letting go (Citizen Ghost) hell even has to kinda force her off here, putting her hands on his chest or forcing herself into his hold (Cry Uncle, Janine Melnitz, Ghostbuster) in which each time he awkwardly puts his hands on her shoulders and changes topics. Jesus Christ the amount of times shes kissed him without any sort of permission (Egon's ghost) and don't get me started on Janine's genie. Poor Egon was basically drugged in retrospect in order to fall for her. The scenes between them here are creepy at best. Forced to act in a way he clearly wouldnt do unless under some influence. What if she hadnt broken the spell and gone further? It would've been r@p// at that point. Hate to break it to you but if she has to wish he was head over heels for her, he probably isn't, and I really hope the guys can't remember that day due to the wishes or god help them all. I get it the guys don't really seem to look after Janine like they should, but that whole episode just showed how bad she is in response as well.
Forcing Egon to go to her families for dinner when he so very clearly didn't. (Janine's day off) You shouldn't have to drag "your man" along. Every single thing they do together is almost always forced, I.e., Janine dragging him along to something he clearly doesn't want to do. The face he makes when she tries to get all comfortable against him in the taxi with Peter (can't remember episode) and boy even Peter gives him a look of "I'm sorry" cause hes so clearly uncomfortable and she just keeps pushing. Not even going to count anything in "Janine you've changed" cause the episode is god awful and shows just how much anyone cares about anyone there. How do you morph your entire body and have no one notice? What if shed gotten killed by it in the end? That's neglect on everyone's part.
I find it funny that all of these things we frown upon and call Peter gross and a scoundral when he does them, yet Janine is setting the standards for a firey love and totally not pushing boundaries when she does them. It's not okay. She can take Louis and get outta here because Egon honestly deserves better. I dont care wether Egon actually liked her or not, because I sure as hell know if someone I liked did all this to me I'd definitely lose feelings like a pin drop. I shouldn't be manipulated and forced into a relationship and neither should he. Glad its not canon. Have a good day
#egon spengler#ghostbusters#real ghostbusters#the real ghostbusters#janine melnitz#janegon#i could care less if you ship this. by all means go ahead. this is just my take on the ship and why i personally dont like it
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Okay, so here we go! Chapter 1 of “No Regrets”!
There’s a few things I want to point out about this chapter, because both visually and textually, we get a lot of information about the Underground and Levi, and his relationship with Isabel and Furlan. So I’ll just go through it.
The first thing that really caught my attention for this chapter was the opening page, which is a retrospective shot of Levi after he’s joined the SC, thinking about how he can’t ever know what the results of his choices are going to be. He says here “I trusted in my own strength... I trusted in the decisions of comrades who had earned my faith...” And this quote from Levi is really important in later understanding why he makes the choice he does, at the end. He says he trusted in the decisions of comrades who had earned his faith, and that tells us that Levi believes in Furlan and Isabel, that he believes in their strength and their capability, that he believes in them enough to let them choose for themselves and trust in their judgement. We’ll obviously delve more into this as it becomes more relevant to the story. But moving on...
The next thing to catch my attention is the panels of the Underground we see. These are probably the best shots of this place we get in the whole series, as it really depicts a place that is totally run down and dilapidated, with buildings falling apart and crumbling in disrepair, filth ridden streets with literal sewage water coming out of drain pipes, and a actual cave cover overhead, complete with stalactites, blocking out all sunlight except for few and far between pockets which break through holes in the rock ceiling. The most telling panels though are the ones which depict the violence and poverty of the place. We see a panel of a homeless man passed out on the street, painfully thin looking, and under him, two men in a fight, one beating the other violently. And the next panel shows us a little girl, sitting barefoot on the ground between two men who have just blown each other’s brains out with guns. Truly, this is a violent, dark, poverty-stricken place that breeds crime and depravation. The pages before this say that BECAUSE of the splendor of the Capital city above the Underground, this place exists, and that’s accurate. Because of the excesses and decadence of the rich and well off above these people rejected by society, that means fewer resources for the less fortunate. It’s truly tragic.
Alright, now I just want to move on to some small, but telling moments here while Levi and the others are being chased by Erwin and his crew.
When Isabel is bragging about how the MP’s never learn, referring to how they’ll never be able to catch their gang, she asks Levi if what she said was cool. Levi tells her “Don’t be stupid.” This might seem like Levi just blowing her off, but the way I read it, it seems more to me like Levi is warning her not to be cocky, not to be over confident, because that’s the kind of thing that can get you killed, or caught. Big Bro indeed! We also see how mindful Levi is here as a leader, when he tells them they can’t afford to lead the soldiers following them straight to their hideout, and clearly they have a plan in place for just this sort of thing.
More importantly, Levi is fast to realize these aren’t ordinary soldiers after them, which shows his great instincts, but what’s really interesting is his internal thoughts here. His logic is telling him regular MP’s wouldn’t work this hard to catch them, and that their skill with the ODM means they must be SC. But Levi doesn’t really believe it which, given what we later find out about the deal with Lobov, and Lobov warning them of Erwin’s plans, tells us that Levi never really believed the SC would come after them. He’s clearly surprised here.
Further, after informing Isabel and Furlan and confirming his suspicions, he tells Furlan that he’s got no intention of getting mixed up with “these guys”. This tells us Levi never wanted to go through with Furlan’s plans, never wanted to join the SC, never wanted anything to do with any of it. There’s further evidenced in this very chapter, which I’ll get to in a moment. But it tells us a lot about the dubious feelings Levi had from the start, and how he probably would have simply been happiest to stay in the Underground with his friends, even though it was a hard life.
Alright, so, this next part is a big deal, and it’s an overlooked detail which speaks volumes about the kind of person Levi is. I didn’t even notice this the first time I read it, so I want to talk about it. Levi separates from Isabel and Furlan, and takes Erwin and Mike on a wild chase through the back alley’s and narrow passages of the slums. He really tries to give them the run around here, until he flips over a door, into another area. What’s really important here is Levi’s dialog. He says first “... Lost ‘em, huh?” And then he says, “That got a little crazy... I hope... none of them crashed.” This is kind of amazing. Levi is showing actual concern for the two soldiers who’d just attempted to catch him and his friends, who were doggedly pursuing them with obviously bad intentions of some kind. And Levi, after having to resort to some serious ODM skills to shake them, says he hopes that none of them crashed. He doesn’t want Erwin or Mike to get hurt, he just wants to get away from them. Considering he doesn’t know either of them at this point, they’re just nameless, faceless military dogs trying to mess things up for him, that shows remarkable character.
Of course, things go downhill from there, when Mike crashes through the door and tackles him. All bets are off then, because Levi’s life is now in danger, and when that happens, he’ll resort to physical force. Still, he only throws Mike off of him and once again attempts to get away, only for it to be Erwin who swoops down and cuts Levi’s cables. This was actually really dangerous. Given Levi’s momentum and position, he crashes hard into a nearby wall before falling to the ground. So we already see some of that ruthlessness from Erwin here. Of course, that spurs Levi into violence himself. I have no doubt that when Levi lunges for Erwin and knocks his blade away, bringing his knife to his neck, he truly intended to kill him in that moment. Levi’s compassion for these soldiers can only go so far, considering the desperation of his own circumstances. If Mike hadn’t been there to stop it, I think Levi probably would have ripped Erwin’s jugular right out, and that would have been that, lol. And then, it’s important to note too WHY Levi stops. Not because Mike was able to physically restrain him, but because he tells Levi to look around himself, directing his attention to the fact that Furlan and Isabel have been caught. That immediately stays Levi’s hand, and once again, we’re shown how Levi puts the wellbeing of his friends above himself. He could have ditched Furlan and Isabel right then and there and escaped on his own. Instead, he allows himself to be restrained and cuffed. He refuses to abandon them.
Now the next scene is hugely important to a lot of stuff.
Erwin’s got Levi and his friends down on their knees, in the sewage, questioning them about their ODM skills, and the three of them stay silent, obviously defiant. We really get a good look at Erwin’s abilities as a manipulator here.
He’s pulling the whole good cop/bad cop routine on Levi, when he tells him “I’d like to avoid any rough treatment if I can” before looking to Mike in a clear signal for Mike to pretty damn violently tear Levi’s head back by his hair before smashing his face into the sewage on the ground. And this really IS sewage. It’s not mud. If you look at the panels, we see this brown muck coming out of drain pips attached to the surrounding buildings. This water is probably, literally, dirty with feces, and Erwin has Mike put Levi’s face in this and hold it there. Now let’s remember something important about Levi. He’s a clean freak. He obviously cares deeply about keeping both himself and his environment clean. Erwin couldn’t know this about him at the time, but nobody of course would be happy about having their face shoved into literal shit. But for Levi, I can only imagine this had to be tantamount to a kind of torture. Erwin keeps questioning him, looking down at him without any kind of emotion, and Levi remains stubbornly silent, despite how awful this must truly be for him. We get a close up of Levi’s eye in one of the panels, paralleled with Erwin’s own, and Levi’s expression really strikes me as one of awful humiliation. He goes from looking up at Erwin in rage, to looking away, staring straight ahead, while Erwin keeps looking down at him.
Still, Levi says nothing, and it’s Isabel who finally cracks, telling Erwin that they didn’t learn to use ODM from anyone, with Furlan further explaining that they taught themselves as a means of survival. He remarks that “anyone who doesn’t know what sewage tastes like couldn’t understand!”. Clearly, both of them are really upset to see this being done to Levi, and I have to imagine it’s at least in part because they know how awful an experience this has to be for him, given that they know how much he desires to stay clean. Their shocked expressions when Mike first pushes Levi’s face into the sewage says as much too.
But still, Levi remains silent as Erwin then demands to know Levi’s name. What Mike does to Levi in the next panel is even worse. He pushes his face into the sewage and holds him there until Levi literally starts to choke in it, for long enough that, when he finally does pull him up, Levi is gasping for breath. I really don’t see people talk enough about this scene, but, well...
It’s a torture scene. Erwin is ordering Mike to torture Levi here. It may not be the most extreme form of torture, it isn’t the type of physical violence we typically think of when we think of torture, but that’s what it is. It’s causing Levi both physical and mental degradation, as well as physical distress.
Even with this though, Levi’s still silent and refuses to answer Erwin at all.
It’s only when Erwin literally threatens the lives of Furlan and Isabel that he finally talks. This is such an important detail. Levi was willing to take what to him must have been truly horrific treatment, but as soon as Erwin gives the signal to the other two Scouts who have hold of his friends, we see Levi’s expression shift from defiant rage to wide eyed fear as they put their blades to Furlan’s and Isabel’s throats.
Finally Levi talks, calling Erwin a “bastard”, to which Erwin simply asks him again what his name is, and after a slight hesitation, Levi finally gives it.
I think this entire scene is vital in understanding WHY Levi was so violently pissed at Erwin, to the point of wanting to kill him.
I think it’s a combination of both the humiliation and torture he puts Levi through here, and, worse still, the fact that he threatens Isabel and Furlan’s lives. Levi already feels looked down upon by Erwin here, he already feels humiliated and embarrassed and as though he’s being treated like he’s worthless, because Erwin IS treating him like that here. All while Erwin stands there, expressionless, making statements like he doesn’t want to have to use any rough treatment, etc... while at the same time ordering Mike to do just that. Already, Erwin is sending Levi the message that he’s a liar and a manipulator who thinks nothing of putting another human being’s face in shit. And then, to top that off, he shows Levi that he’s willing to hurt, maybe even kill, his two friends to get what he wants.
Is it any wonder Levi hated Erwin as much as he did at the beginning? After a lifetime in the Underground where, from the time of his birth, he had to deal with him and those he cares about being treated like worthless trash. It would be a miracle if Levi DIDN’T want to kill Erwin at this point. To have to then submit to him willingly, after all of that, must have been beyond humiliating for him.
Erwin continues to be manipulative here too, when after Levi gives his name, Erwin’s attitude suddenly shifts, and he smiles at Levi and gets down on one knee with him, in the filth, his entire demeanor seeming to shift into an abruptly friendly one as he offers his deal to Levi. Again, that whole good cop/bad cop thing. At the same time, he continues to threaten Levi by telling him if he refuses his offer, he’ll hand them all over to the MP’s and that, given their crimes, they shouldn’t expect to be treated with any kind of decency. What’s kind of funny about this statement from Erwin is that up until now, Erwin and Mike have done anything but treat Levi decently.
Okay, one more important point to make about this chapter, and it goes back to what I said earlier about Levi not wanting anything to do with the SC, and how that tells us Levi really didn’t want to go through with Furlan’s plans.
After Erwin makes his offer, we see Levi look over at Furlan, who’s giving him an intent look, and in the next panel, we see an almost surprised, or astonished look on Levi’s face, like he can’t believe Furlan is asking him to do this, before he grits his teeth in obvious frustration, and then accepts Erwin’s offer to join the SC. What this tells us is that Levi only takes Erwin’s offer because Furlan wanted him to. Because this was all part of Furlan’s plan, to go through with Lobov’s commission, to get caught by the SC, etc... It’s clear Levi never wanted this, and he’s upset at having to do it. But the fact he agrees after looking over at Furlan and seeing him implore Levi with his eyes tells us, once again, that Levi is willing to sacrifice his own desires for the desires of others. That being his two friends.
For them, he’ll join the Survey Corps, even as every one of his instincts is probably screaming at him that this is a bad idea.
Anyway, those are my thoughts for the first chapter of “No Regrets”. There’s a lot more to unpack in this manga than I think people realize. I hope whoever took the time to read my long ass post found it at least a little worth while. I’ll be moving on to chapter two next!
#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#No Regrets#acwnr#Levi Ackerman#Furlan Church#isabel magnolia#meta#snk analysis
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Yay! The newbie (me) has finished 10 korean dramas
....... and here are my ratings.
- Ratings for: W - Two Worlds | Extraordinary You | Bring it on, ghost! | Hotel del Luna | The Tale of Nok-du | Run On | Rookie Historian Goo Hae-ryung | Romance is a Bonus Book | Radio Romance | A Love So Beautiful
- Also mentioned: Memories of the Alhambra | My Country - The New Age | Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol | Signal | Mr. Queen | Tale of the Nine Tailed | Goblin | My First First Love | Moon Lovers | The Crowned Clown
Let’s rate from worst to best:
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10) Romance is a Bonus Book. Rating: 2,1 / 5 stars - skip it.
- I kept seeing this show on my dash and since my first kdrama watch was W Two Worlds with the wonderful Lee Jong-suk, I decided to give it a chance.
- But hell, no one warned me how bad it actually is. I’m not talking about the acting (the cast is actually quite solid), but I’m referring to... the plot (or lack thereof), the love story (let’s rather call it one-sided obsession) and the wasted potential. Let’s start with the set-up. A company producing books, a single mother who needs a job, her childhood best friend who works for the company. Yeah, it’s not precisely complex or inventive, but it’s something to work with. Create nice dynamics at the working place, have some yearning between the two leads, give them heartwarming moments and a confession of how they’ve always been in love with each other. There’s just one problem: she really never, ever had any romantic feelings for her childhood best friend. She keeps calling him a brother and insists on him being her closest friend (which seems a stretch since she lied to him for a year about her separation from her husband and kept sort of creeping up into his house to eat and shower there without letting him know). Anyway, I could oversee this (even though I hate the trope of childhood best friends becoming lovers in adult life just because one is a man and the other a woman) if AT LEAST we actually get to see her falling for him slowly within the show. But we just.... don’t. He confesses his love to her - as she is actually starting to see someone else, and let me tell you, she actually seemed to be into the second lead -, then promises her not to push his feelings onto her... but that’s exactly what he does (I guess I don’t need to mention I ended up not being his biggest fan), and she ends up falling for him for unknown reasons. Eh. Okay. I started rooting for the second leads halfway into the show. Hae-rin & Eun-ho as well as Seo-joo & Dan-i appeared to me as the much more shippable pairings. I might have actually cried for Hae-rin & Eun-ho at some point of the show, but well... Moving on to... everything else. I enjoyed some scenes in the company, but not enough that I could tell you any right now because there wasn’t anything very memorable. The show basically thrives in some random scenes usually involving one of the two leads rather than in scenes with the two of them. That random author’s suicide has stuck with me as well as the letters that song hae-rin has wrote to our male lead over the years. The talk about fears between eun-ho and that author has stuck with me too, but other than that... there’s just nothing really happening. I was patiently waiting for a plot to come but nothing ever came. It just feels like a bunch of really uninteresting subplots put into one show. I don’t wanna judge it too harshly, but one of the other modern day dramas I will discuss further down this list also simply works with a bunch of subplots coming together - and it’s wonderfully executed (it’s ‘Run On’, for those of you who are wondering!)
SUMMARY
- Favorite character:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/52c5d7a7d65cf8c71facfe6bb0121403/7218909238657e5c-1f/s540x810/d1d5a979f66556de004990f5a208ad7b311a5f4e.jpg)
- Positive: nice friendship between women (dan-i & hae-rin); delivery of lee jong-suk, jeong eu-gene & park gyu-young; one strong scene involving a life lesson every few eps
- Negative: no main plot, dull subplots... nothing happens, very cheesy at some points, the protagonizing couple is quite problematic and unshippable, their chemistry is not strong enough to oversee that; i really don’t know why people like this show.
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9) Radio Romance. Rating: 3,2 / 5 stars - it’s cute.
- Radio Romance is the show on this list that drives me into conflict with myself. Because some things about this show are very strong; others (many) very, very weak. I guess the main problem is that the show’s set-up mostly shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but it deals with some heavy topics that need to be taken seriously. And unlike quality japanese animes or some quality chinese drama that usually achieve to make you realize what can be taken as a joke and what can not, Radio Romance is sort of incapable of keeping that balance. You gotta figure it for yourself.
- While offering a quite enjoyable cast and some quite different personalities within the show, there is no one particularly standing out. As you will see as we go further down on this list, this is not my only Kim So-hyun drama, it was also not my first, and I can promise you that it won’t be my last. I simply adore this actress, she’s enjoyable to watch. I don’t think I’ll ever grow tired of her, which is why I checked out the show in the first place. Compared to her other characters though, Song Geu-rim is kind and nice and all, but not too memorable. She’s portraying a nice girl next door here with a dream to become a good radio script writer. And if not even her character stands out, as expected, none of the others will either. As for the plot... We don’t really have one, I suppose. If you count the plot making the radio show, I suppose then episode 3 or 4 is the last with actual development. I was hoping for more conflicts and plot twists involving Soo-ho’s backstory - and we got them, but very, very, very late on the show. Basically, getting through the first 7 eps felt very easy to me, due to the change of locations and relationship growth, and getting through the last 3 as well. Although the last was such a cheesy ending, you have no idea. The middle part suffered from a lack of plot and character development as well as it suffered from a focus on the love triangle - which I totally could have lived without. Like, istg, what was the POINT of this love triangle? Soo-ho and Geu-rim had to deal with enough things already, bringing in yet another obstacle through the tercero and putting the focus onto this love triangle was just soooo cliché. And don’t even get me started on how they also went with the problematic love triangle tropes rather than to at least make it somewhat adorable or funny. It was also boring. I kept pausing the episodes there and didn’t keep watching for days. It was only at the end of episode 13 that things finally got interesting again when we finally got to learn more about Soo-ho’s backstory. From then on, I was able to end the show within 2 days. So, no, the backstory was not the thing that drives me into conflict though. What drives me into conflict is how such a quite flat story was able to portray a very good, very realistic case of depression and PTSD. Like wow. This must have been one of the few shows, in which we have a canonically diagnosed character who does not fall into stereotypes and in which his depression isn’t used as a mere plot device to get the ship together and cure him by that. His depression is underlying at all times, sometimes more, sometimes less. He is told to get treatment (”no treatment, no medication.”), he has moments in which his depression mentally and physically restrains him from acting. It’s a very layered, realistic depiction and I adored every single bit of it. Meanwhile, the character isn’t defined by his depression nevertheless - there’s more to Soo-ho then just the depression, and after all, he was an outstanding character (to correct what I said before because I was lying xD). So... for all the lack of plot and development and predictable storytelling, the depiction of depression and the peacefulness of the protagonizing couple save that show.
SUMMARY
- Favorite character:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/16dbb4ae2c712322e6680b9d5c10a951/7218909238657e5c-67/s540x810/c84ac0d9789164cfa74573426aaa3a4b3f249360.jpg)
- Negative: unnecessary love triangles with unnecessary clichés; barely any plot; sheer boredom in the middle of the show; takes itself and its tropes way too seriously.
- Positive: complex character who is suffering from depression and PTSD; layered, realistic depiction of depression; adorable couple that transmits peacefulness.
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8) Rookie Historian Goo Hae-ryung. Rating: 3,5 / 5 stars - nice, but it is no must-watch.
- I feel genuinely bad for putting this right after Radio Romance and Romance is a Bonus Book, because Rookie Historian was, simply put, muuuuuuuuch better. I got invested in the characters and their backstories. The story is quite more complex in retrospect than it seemed at first, but the show’s issue is that this is rather less apparent in more than the first quarter of the show. I really don’t even recall what happened in those first few episodes because it is rather unimportant for the rest of the show, with minor exceptions. The story truly starts picking up around episode 9 and has a strong run until around episode 15. The last quarter of the show then is wayyyyy too fast-moving, too many things happening and we barely spend time on things I then wished to spend more time on. Unfortunately, despite having a good set-up and a quite fine cast, I don’t think I’ll remember anything in particular about this show in a year. It’s a nice watch, even though I sometimes really had to motivate myself to keep watching in the first eps, but it hasn’t lingered in my memory after I finished it.
SUMMARY
- Favorite character:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/aee5f51f8a2b50e60741899131d8425c/7218909238657e5c-68/s540x810/64510628eafbbbbe59851d1762695f24c407ba74.jpg)
- Positive: rather lots of plot; positive female relationships; feminism; shin se-kyung; leading couple as well as the second leading couple, even though romance is not at the core of the show; nice messages about morality and truth.
- Negative: the first few eps are really.... slow-moving. To the point that I’d recommend putting the first 8 eps into 2-3 eps and giving more space in the end. Especially the last 4 eps of the show are way too fast-moving. Furthermore, there’s some plotholes. My biggest issue though is the glorification of europe's christianity during the 18th and 19th century. I was not expecting that in a korean drama but it seemed utterly wrong in my eyes, specifically because the show used it to promote that chrisitianity promotes equality of all races and genders. Not to be a bitch, but europe’s christian beliefs have never stopped europeans from discriminating women and non-white people, not then and not now.
- My general impression of the show is quite positive, but I’m not sure I’d willingly watch it again since knowing all the plot twists and storylines actually is enough to be watched once with that show. An experience that I haven’t made with the other kdramas that are higher ranked on this list.
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7) A Love So Beautiful. Rating: 3,5 / 5 stars - if you really don’t want to think at all and just watch a light, easy to follow show, that is your pick. However, NOT recommended for first-time kdrama watchers - it gives you a totally wrong impression of what kdramas are actually capable of achieving.
- I’d like to point out that this show has surprised me in a good way - but there’s things that need to be pointed out here, so let me make three paragraphs: the first will talk about my impression of the first 16 eps; the second will talk about the last 8 eps; and the last will talk about how this show was cute, but could have been incredible, but didn’t use its potential correctly.
- Episodes 1-16: Look, the thing about those eps is very easy to point out: it’s not quality and it is never pretending to be (unlike romance is a bonus book, which pretends to be some smart, adult quality show but is just trash). Those eps cannot be taken totally serious. You have to go in there knowing exactly what is awaiting you. I started it because when I saw the trailer, I immediately realized all the tropes that Extraordinary You (higher ranked, you will see later) was making fun of. What you see is exactly what you get: Clichéd characters, clichéd love story, average acting, average directing, simple dialogue, clichéd love triangle, predictable developments - a simple romcom put into a tv show format. It’s cliché over cliché over cliché put into a het high school love story. And you know what? After weeks of studying for and writing my uni exams, it was exactly what I needed. The show is so over the top with its clichés that it’s genuinely funny. The lightheartedness and the non-existing complexity just add to that. Basically, you could argue that it’s all so bad with its clichés, which is why it becomes hilarious. Unlike other kdramas, it has a straightforward plot: a girl is in love with a boy and wants to be with him. It’s as easy as that. The show clearly loves featuring every trope you could associate with het love stories, but honestly, it’s so light and breezy and such a fast watch (due to the fact that each ep is between 20-25 minutes), you will finish those first 16 episodes before you know you even started it (I made it in less than 2 days). I want to repeat here though, it’s not for someone who starts with kdramas and hasn’t watched other kdramas. It cannot be taken seriously - and you only cannot take it seriously when you have seen things like Extraordinary You or W or, I guess, a bunch of high school kdramas. But I’m telling you, this is the only Kdrama on this list that you can watch in the most stressful time of your life and it will make you feel better. It won’t make you cry, it will make you laugh, and the moment it is out of your sight, you will forget about it - at least, that’s the case about the first 16 eps. And then we get to...
- Episodes 17-24: guys, what have I gotten myself into? As these people finished high school and their problems actually also got more adult, I started to grow genuinely attached, specifically to the ship. When she got sick and he didn’t even know although he’s a DOCTOR? When she was sexually harassed and didn’t know how to talk to him about it because their relationship was filled with other problems? When he left for 3 years and later told her that he had hoped she’d follow him because she always has... and then she didn’t? When he said that everyone is under the impression that she is more dependent on him but that he is actually the one who cannot imagine a life without her? IT ALL HURT BADLY. Because 1) so many years passed in such a short amount of time on the show and it felt like someone was ripping my heart out. I got genuinely reminded of that stupid US movie “One Day” - and y’all know how that movie ended. And because 2) there was a very realistic notion in the adult relationship portrayed. Not only did it point out how differently relationships/friendships can develop once you outgrow your teenage years and start navigating your life by yourself, but the problems, the misunderstandings, the different perceptions of time, the different perceptions of how friendships and relationships are developing - I honestly could relate to it a lot, looking at it from a 24yo perspective because it is something I have been experiencing as well since I finished high school. You feel more lonely and tend to perceive some time as passing by quickly, other times, it feels like everything is going so slow. These last 8 eps completely differ from my perception that I had in the first 16 eps of the show, as the tone is much more serious and the things depicted realistic and relatable. I also sobbed a lot. I didn’t sob at all, ever, in the first 16 eps, but the last 8 were me crying a lot and feeling my heart hurt as the years passed by and these two just spent them apart.
- So, what do I criticize about this show? The show’s pacing. I genuinely loved the change of feeling between high school and adult life, between ridiculousness and seriousness, and I know the show wants to celebrate youth at the end of the day. But I honestly believe this show could have worked so much better if u cut the high school episodes down to 8 episodes and rather spend a few more eps exploring their young adult lives. It would have worked so much better because their young adult selves were genuinely relatable, as well as their problems. The growth within the characters, realizing that the way they acted as teenagers were often self-centred or that they didn’t think that much about the consequences or how other people felt was nicely done. The show had potential. The dialogues were bearable, the camera work had hints of something great. In other words, I believe that with more carefulness to directing and dialogue, the show could have genuinely been a quality romance drama. The potential was there, but it wasn’t used the way it should have been. In the last 8 eps, you simply get a whiff on what this show could have actually been. Because the realistic character and relationship writing was right there - and if it had been put together with awesome directing and better pacing, everything could have been incredible.
SUMMARY
Favorite character:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ec4e3a4e3c4a35b3472119ab584370b7/7218909238657e5c-cf/s540x810/19f04aed32ac69d3ba99e6d2c9a4ebb0299c735f.jpg)
Negative: the show’s pacing; the waste of potential to be an actual quality romance.
Positive: the un-seriousness of the first 16 eps, which were just so clichéd that it all was hilarious, compared to the seriousness of problems and development depicted in the past 8 eps.
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6) Run On. Rating: 4,2 / 5 stars - recommend
- I’m gonna be honest here and tell you something about me you might have guessed by now: Modern-day shows with no sci-fi nor fantasy elements are not particularly my thing. I usually sort of hate-watch them. Romance is a Bonus Book, A Love So Beautiful and Radio Romance are all of such shows and while I was even capable watching two of them without ending up hating them, they’re far from being my fave. Objectively, they’re okay-ish shows, nothing to be considered quality tv according to my cultural studies though. Subjectively, they just suffer even more from the fact that I’m very keen on being critical of such shows. But what happens when I find a non-fantasy, non-scifi modern-day show that is actually... good? Run On is the answer. Run On has memorable characters, their funny, unique characteristics, and simple conflicts put into nice subplots that often talk real-life problems such as bullying or self-neglegance. At the end of the day, this show is a love poem. It’s a love poem to self-love, self-respect, to friendship, to character growth, to family bonds, to achieving your goals, to making new goals, to kindness, and to life itself. That’s really what it is. You will find yourself in, at least, one of the characters. You will see them struggle, fight, grow, become better, and at the end of the day, the most important thing is that you are capable of living with yourself. I personally got attached to all of the stories and I adored how nothing was ever done over the top. Everything was subtle, multiple subplots working together... to form stories of life. It’s more than just a simple “feelgood” show and less than a devastating tragedy, it truly shows you life and puts it into an aesthetic form, that never neglects its reality. Which leads me to something I should point out here: it’s creatively done. From the fact that Seon-gyeom is waiting for Mi-joo at the end of the track to the drawings of Young-hwa that have Dan-ah in them to Dan-ah realizing that people experience the same things differently due to the fact that experience itself is different to everyone to Mi-joo imagining movie plots with the people she surrounds herself with to Seon-gyeom starting to live with Young-hwa in a small flat rather than to live lonely in a big, fancy hotel room - the things the characters go through in this show are not only talked about, but they’re often expressed through art, in all its forms. And these characters, these dynamics, the art, the conflicts are all subtly but carefully put together into subplots that form the show and very nice messages. The most important take-away I had from this show is that the way we treat us and the people around us is the highest form of art. And the show is a love poem to that.
SUMMARY
- Favorite character:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/31779fff5bd4fd41ff11c5e93a9a4ec5/7218909238657e5c-0a/s540x810/cd4a5d66dbffb04c48c19d797628ee81dd5a53bd.jpg)
- Positive: the cast (especically the core four), the characters (especially the core four); the wonderful messages about respect, kindness and self-love; the subplots working together, reflecting how life is also not just some simple chronological order of things but rather multiple experiences that we remember and that shape us; life is constant growth.
- Negative: i think the only thing i truly have to criticize is that you never really know what the plot even is. While I do enjoy how the subplots all work together, I would have wished for deeper inspections of some plots. And while it is easy just for some headcanons to come to mind, I still think the show could have incorporated more. Considering the treatment of art forms and how it takes a prominent role within the story (due to Young-hwa and Mi-joo, respectively), I also would have liked to have some cultural nods and references - and interpretations. I think the show used about 85% of its potential - and the potential was great, which is why the rating is still very good.
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5) Bring it on, ghost! Rating: 4,2 / 5 stars - recommend, especially good for people who want to have a focus on romance coupled with a supernatural plot and who want a happy ending
- While the story is pretty easy to follow, often seems to be predictable and familiar, the show still promotes nice messages about forgiveness and regret. The strong side of the show isn’t particularly that though - this show is entirely saved by the two leading actors. Kim So-hyun and Teacyeon portray two incredibly lovable characters you will see yourself drawn to. They furthermore have a chemistry that you just have to love and their bickering is just the best part of all. This is mixed with some tragic moments - in present time as well as in the past - and what you get is a romantic show with a bit of comedy, with a bit of tragedy, but with a very happy ending. If you exchanged the actors with two less skilled actors or two people who simply don’t have a lot of chemistry, this show simply wouldn’t work. Their performances are the shining light of this drama, mixed with some funny side characters that you get to enjoy as well. The reason why it ends up higher on the list than Run On - despite Run On probably having generally the better dialogue writing as well as better camera work and even more beautiful messages - is due to the sole work of the two leads who simply carry this show on their back and the fact that despite having some more or less necessary subplots, there is a main plot here that will take a faster, darker turn in the second half of the show. And I personally just enjoy having a main plot to hold onto as well as I always enjoy a bit of fantasy more than modern day real live shows. On top of that, add some devastating backstory and top-notch character development for Park Bong-pal, and a badass, slightly violent, sassy characterization of Kim Hyun-ji. This show will simply leave you with a huge smile on your face, despite being made for people who enjoy tragedy as well.
SUMMARY
- Favorite characters:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0d4c33bce3f89a36c1cbef0996c5b976/7218909238657e5c-33/s540x810/20cd1830fbab5245f9ab60578575cb741b0dea41.jpg)
- Negative: subplots sometimes take the focus, a familiar story, stereotypical portrayal of ghosts (yes, ahre, i said it), no real plot twists (which can be a good thing, too, since the show rather simply unfolds each part of the story over the course of its run)
- Positive: the two leading actors, their incredibly shippable couple, a happy ending. If I was going to recommend a light-hearted, happy kdrama that has some tragic parts but ends happily and isn’t that hard to follow, I’ll recommend you this one.
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4) The Tale of Nok-du. Rating: 4,6 / 5 stars - strongly recommend.
- If you ever are in search for an unproblematic dummy as protagonist, watch this show. He’s a dummy you just have to love. You laugh about him, you laugh with him, you cry for him. He’s a puppy, you cry with him. And the best thing is, this puppy falls in love with a girl who can be quite rude and annoyed, but he always makes her smile and genuinely is attentive to her. The most frustrating thing about both of them is that each of them keeps a secret they cannot tell each other because they refuse to hurt each other - and this almost leads to tragedy. Better even, they’re portrayed by two very skillful actors. You’ll love them in the blink of an eye. And then there’s the cute second lead, portrayed by Kang Tae-oh. Yes, cute. Until he really isn’t. I’ve never seen an actor being able to turn around a character to 180° in no time. Some talent that is. And now let’s just say - the plot is nice. It is not the most complex one, but it is interesting to follow and you are always eager to find out new information to collect and put the pieces together. If you are searching for a show that is simply entertaining and nice to watch and featrures a great cast and nice characters and ranges from comedy to tragedy, this is your pick.
SUMMARY
- Favorite characters:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7963371c1910e50e7a79f1496c3681be/7218909238657e5c-26/s540x810/3cb37746ecf879e9f2662a4b815bab54e1f12907.jpg)
- Negative: the narrative change in the middle of the show that shifted the focus away from women to men (even though it made sense within the story, it was still a very sudden and harsh change, especially if you consider that these women were mostly slaughtered to death)
- Positive: CAST (specifically the three mains are just beyond amazing); an innocent, pure, absolutely adorable protagonizing couple that will steal your heart; feminism; male protagonist being a feminist who ends up working with badass women for his entire lifetime; directing; narration practices - this show is the one that draws the line between the ones i discussed above and the really great ones because it is the first on the list to be capable of telling a story by constantly keeping your nerves up while also not overstimulating the viewer with too much information at once. Only the other 3 shows which will follow now were able to do the same - and it’s what makes people watch or quit, and that’s why it’s so important: constant plot development, no unnecessary side plots, and handing your audience enough information to make them keep watching but not enough to guess the entire plot yet. The Tale of Nok-du was able to do exactly that and I honestly enjoyed the ride.
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3) W - Two Worlds. Rating: 4,8 / 5 stars - strongly recommend, must watch.
- I’d like to point out first that my top 3 are interchangeable. I sometimes tend to change my mind which one of the three I adore the most, and W is definitely in those top 3. Firstly, I’d like to let you know that W was my first Kdrama watch. And it blew me away. I was in awe with Lee Jong-suk, with Han Hyo-joo, with the narration of this drama, with the plot, with the direction, with the leading couple, the cast, THE DIALOGUE. Everything about this drama was excellently executed. The slow-moving narration in episode 1, the extra long scene of Chul holding the writer at gunpoint, the writer ‘becoming’ the killer (which he has always been anyway), the philosophy behind it, the creativity. I was blown away by literally everything about this drama and I believe it to be one of the strongest dramas ever made. Furthermore, what I also really adored, is that you don’t need to necessarily be into the couple in order to enjoy this show anyway because the plot takes the spotlight - but since the couple is always involved in the main plot, you get to enjoy plot, dialogue and couple at once. An interesting thing that I want to note here is that a few weeks after finishing the show, I stumbled upon reddits criticizing Lee Tae-hwan for his acting in general. I don’t know if he just perfectly suited the role of Chul’s bodyguard in W, but I highkey enjoyed watching him in this drama.
SUMMARY
- Favorite characters:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7e572c3da27be4e2dcee5d2e8e3ad03d/7218909238657e5c-17/s500x750/2c3dae1300bafb104f6f98adcc7f2dbc76d86550.jpg)
- Negative: I would have adored if Yeon-joo took a more prominent role in the resolution of the story (last 2 episodes) since the ‘hero arc’ went all to Chul there. And another negative aspect is that the show lives from very strong dialogues throughout all episodes, all incredible, all amazing and then - the very last scene. The last words spoken on the show, as a voice-over of Chul and Yeon-joo, are rather dull compared to the rest of the show.
- Positive: narration device, leaving out information to fill us in later and blowing our minds away (PEOPLE, I THOUGHT CHUL DIED), complex main characters, complex plot, no unnecessary subplots, no unnecessary romantic drama, no unnecessary cheesiness, DIALOGUE, direction, the cast in general*.
*I tried Memories of the Alhambra, as I found out that the same people who also made W were in charge of that drama, and I have to admit that I was intensely let down, specifically by the casting. Hyun Bin was alright-ish (not very memorable though), but Park Shin-hye was unbearable for me after episode 3. I stopped watching. If the plot was as interesting as the one of W though, I would have kept watching. But seeing as nothing really happened in those first 3 eps other than the lead killing his old best friend and playing video games that appear to turn into reality, I felt like I was wasting my time.
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2) Extraordinary You. Rating: 5 / 5 stars - strongly recommend for hopeless romantics, people who suffer from second lead syndrome and people who like getting into philosophical debates.
- Extraordinary You was the second kdrama I ever watched. And. And. And. And I almost gave it up after episode one. It seemed somewhat ridiculous to me, way too fast-moving. I would regret my entire life if I had given it up right there and then. Because PEOPLE, IT IS SO GOOD. Not only does it feature a very healthy main couple, it leaves you emotionally devastated because there’s a backstory that you only get to know in the second half of the show but which influences your entire perception of the first half - and jeez, by the time I reached half of the show, I was yelling and screaming and crying my eyes out. You ever want to see a love so deep that it transcends consciousness and universes? A love so deep that time and space become mere nothings? That’s what you get in this show. And one of the best parts is that the ‘’’’’actual’’’’’ lead (in the ancient story within the show, not the story of the show) aka Baek Kyung* does NOT get the girl. But that doesn’t mean you won’t fricking suffer with him. Jeez, I bawled my eyes out for him, too. But Haru/Dan-oh, guys, they’re.... everything. Oh and all of that is nicely mixed up in a strong, complex plot that leaves nothing unexplained. Not everything is explained through words - the show is high on symbolism rather than dialogue - but everything makes sense. And the ending, oh that stupid ending. As beautiful as heartbreaking. Since the plot is put into a philosophical perspective throughout the show, the show also raises questions about existence and being. Yes, I yelled when Heidegger was mentioned. So not only do you get to see a beautiful, heartbreaking love story; adorable, complex characters; time-and-space-transcending friendships, you also get to laugh, cry and think about your own existence and your own place in this world. This show is a delight.
SUMMARY
- Favorite character:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ab0c4f1acaeb6d53ce9482ee41c0e8a3/7218909238657e5c-2b/s540x810/b2cb720754a625bd9fba87dfdd51fceae723da85.jpg)
- Negative: you will cry and cry and cry and then laugh and then cry and cry and cry. It’s really not fun. Emotionally devastating. No, but for real... I wished we had a more complex depiction of the female characters that aren’t Dan-oh (specifically Ju-da, Sae-mi and Su-hyang), and a bit less focus on the guys therefore (I love them all but I thought the girls could have gotten some screen time of theirs while I would have accepted Jinmichae, Do-hwa and Nam-ju to get a bit less)
- Positive: Honestly? EVerything. Directing, casting, characterization, narration, love story, friendships, everything.
- *Let me say something about Baek Kyung, portrayed by Lee Jae-wook. That character could have simply been an asshole. The set-up was there, the writer of the comic also made him that way. But Lee Jae-wook has portrayed this character with so much depth that it is impossible not to feel bad for him. His entire life stages (hahahaha, I’m so funny) are a tragic mess. The fact that he eventually realizes that who he is and who the writer made him are eventually indeed two different people after all - but that they both share being in love with Eun Dan-oh - is as important as it is devastating. Cause it makes you realize that he can finally move his life more freely with that knowledge - become a better person outside of the stages (only if given the chance by the writer though) - while also never finding a happy ending. Firstly, because happy endings don’t exist in their world anyway because endings - if happy or sad - are always endings to these characters’ existences and because it is glaringly obvious his happy ending would include having Dan-oh by his side also outside of the stages. That is denied to him and will always be denied to him. And as a viewer, you understand that and you want nothing else, but the fact that he doesn’t even appear in the new story, not getting a chance at a new life this time, just adds a tragic notion onto all of this that no one asked for. I’d like to thank Lee Jae-wook here for such an incredible portrayal. I started Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol because of him and, unfortunately, had stop watching after 2 episodes because Go A-ra is simply... a terrible actress. I can’t put it any other way. I’m looking forward to other dramas with him and the rest of the cast though. Extraordinary You definitely had a huge advantage already by having a quite young, but incredibly talented mass of actors and actresses.
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*drumroll*
1) Hotel del Luna. Rating: 5 / 5 stars - strongly recommend, must watch.
- It wasn’t thaaaat surprising to me that I would love this show. It was rather.... obvious that this would happen because a fantasy show set in modern day with the involvement of other time eras and a badass, broken, strong female lead is simply my taste. What I did not expect was this to become my favorite tv show of all time. I don’t even know where to start. I guess Jang Man-wol is a good starting point. Because I live for such characters. Characters like hers are precisely of my taste (I had similar people to her before - Ámbar Smith from Argentina’s Soy Luna or Melody Paz from Argentina’s Casi Ángeles - and also after her - Seo Dan-ah from Korea’s Run On), but Jang Man-wol takes the no.1 spot in all tv characters ever. She’s so layered, so complex, so well-written. She’s not predictable, but she’s also not ever surprising. She comes across as one of the most relatable tv characters you could ever see because she isn’t just one thing. She’s very contrary, she can be soft and loving or harsh and ruthless, sometimes all at the same time. She can be forgiving, she can be arrogant, self-hating, self-loving, lazy, passionate, she is quite literally everything. And while in the show’s set-up she is punished for hundreds of years when other, much more problematic people were allowed to leave this world sooner than her, the narrative wants you to feel sorry for her. You see her flaws, you see she’s anything but perfect but it won’t make you conclude that her punishment was ever deserved. The more you get into this show, the more you will ache. Because you know that there is only one possible ending to the show - for her to finally find peace. And that... that can only be achieved if she finally is allowed to leave this world. And it hurts and pains because, obviously, there is a love story. A love story that goes back to when she was a child 1,300 years ago. A love story that reunites her with the guy who saved her these 1,300 years ago and who now finds her again, someone who makes her care about her life again. As deeper as you go into the show, the more you will cry, the more you will suffer. And you will feel conflicted. You will want her to get her revenge while you will want to protect her. You will want her to finally be able to leave this world, but you won’t want her to leave Chan-sung. You will want her to actually care about her own fate while you will also want her to make the mistakes that worsen everything. It is a beautiful character put into a story that mixes fantasy, comedy, tragedy, soulmates, life, death, revenge, a stunning cinematography and strong dialogues into one. And what you get is the probably best show ever made.
SUMMARY
- Favorite character:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/95f29da27f4b6165960cd447551359de/7218909238657e5c-6f/s500x750/c41d26bd91d8dcc952c6a3105bfff11356d72ec7.jpg)
- Negative: There is really only one minor thing I’d criticize. While all the chars are rather complex and all subplots and character arcs work within the main plot frame and round up the entire story perfectly, there is one subplot I personally got a bit tired of because it is definitely the most unconnected one to the main plot - this concerns the romance arc of yu-na and hyun-joong. I wasn’t hating it, but I just didn’t need it for this story.
- Positive: This show has everything. I told you above already all the things I like. On top of that, I’d like to add that it has a beautiful found family story arc, promotes wonderful messages, has gotten itself the most excellent leading actress with IU who just beautifully portrays Jang Man-wol in all her depth. The show leaves you with your heart aching while there will be a smile on your face. Emotional devastation is just how this show works.
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- Kdrama I'm currently watching: The Crowned Clown
- Kdramas I plan on watching soon: My Country - The New Age (watched 2 eps so far) | Signal (watched 1 ep so far) | Mr. Queen | Tale of the Nine Tailed | Moon Lovers
- Kdramas I abandoned because I didn’t get into them / disliked them: My First First Love | Goblin | Do Do Sol Sol La La Sol | Memories of the Alhambra
- If you have any suggestions for me based on my likes and dislikes, send them to me. I’m open to everything :)
#w two worlds#w two worlds apart#hotel del luna#extraordinary you#a love so beautiful#radio romance#romance is a bonus book#rookie historian goo hae ryung#the tale of nokdu#bring it on ghost#let's fight ghost#hey ghost let's fight#run on#mischa for ts#kdrama ratings
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get in we’re pondering / extrapolating some pt lore (there’s a tl;dr paragraph at the very end ;w;)
often musing about the overarching Theme/s in the series where there's like, these axes of, hope vs despair, self sacrifice (often to protect others) vs being protected by others (often to prevent self sacrifice), and i was thinking about how those protective self sacrifices (which often generally contain some aspect of hope And despair, the former in that someone is taking an action in the hopes of protecting someone, the latter in that they don't have any hope of any less (potentially) self destructive course to pursue to achieve that, or else they'd be doing that instead) do succeed at least in part. we don't really know what's going on with tutu in the story besides disappearing / turning into a point of light, but she exists outside of the story too and manifests in ways clearly associated with hope, & i think we can infer that her appearance/disappearance in the story did have this effect for mytho in giving him hope b/c like, how can it be a coincidence that the heart shard of Hope happens to be the one used to let someone become tutu, or that mytho was able to feel hope prior to technically have the capacity for it when thinking about her and then recognize as much in retrospect. and mytho himself sacrifices his own heart to protect everyone from the raven, rue sacrificing herself saves mytho from the raven in turn, and what i'm getting around to is that i was thinking about how sacrifices are never in vain, except for the knight's, but then i was like, well hey, what if because the rules of this story do seem to Always Reward tragic self sacrifices (surely at least in part to Incentivize it from the characters, b/c the sacrifices made wholly out of despair are apparently just people losing their hearts to the raven, f, and characters making sacrifices in the hopes of protecting someone have to actually have that hope at all), maybe the knight's death wasn't really Useless
and maybe it's relevant that the knight presumably wasn't intending to die right then, there's no implication that like, he was pushing the prince out of the way taking a bullet for him, just that the knight meant to attack the raven but didn't even manage to do that and got killed instead. but i think we can suppose that the knight was just always willing to die for the prince and there's this degree of inherent sacrifice in that already, as well as in being so devoted to the prince and protecting him, which the knight must've done plenty of even if, in the moment he was killed, there was no direct achievement in protecting mytho / siegfried / the prince. and i doubt that the way the prince felt about it was actually like "oh my god, useless" rather than that the knight did die For Him, even if mytho wasn't in immediate mortal danger that could've only been thwarted by the knight's death, and even if the knight presumably didn't Know he would die and actually choose that, because of accepting it as his only option to protect mytho. and it's evident throughout the series that characters being Real allows them to act in ways drosselmeyer doesn't predict or hasn't directed them to act or doesn't even necessarily know about, thinking of details like, mytho knowing his name is siegfried doesn't seem to come from any Text of drosselmeyer's in the story, or else people would know the prince has a name besides "the prince," and who knows, maybe drosselmeyer's unwritten hcs are part of the reality of his stories lol, but that's a fun mystery element, and beyond that these characters were all people with full lives and interiority that were not / could not have been written in full detail in the story's text and almost certainly weren't / couldn't have been Thought Out in full by drosselmeyer like that.
and i'm just thinking about how the knight is the only prominent character who outright dies in the unfinished story, aside from various, presumably not individually described/named people in the kingdom being killed by the raven, and possible details not mentioned in the series, like idk, whether or not mytho's parent/s died at some point in the course of the story. tutu's disappearance is too ambiguously magical to really call it a death, although it's a Tragic Fate intended to write her out of the story, and there's no indication of kraehe / the concept of The Raven's Daughter existing in the story, since in the first season kraehe is really fully standing in for the raven as the main villain / antagonist, with the raven not being shown or mentioned by her until the second season, and fakir just directly referring to kraehe as a crow or raven during that first season, and what with the idea in the second season that rue was just some random person the raven stole and presumably made up the concept of there being a [the raven's daughter] role.
(even though when kraehe appears in season one it's clearly a swan lake / odile thing, and i guess you could conceivably wonder like "hey, is she the daughter of some rothbart equivalent here. like the story raven as the primary antagonist"....that's all Meta beyond the series's metatextual layers and, since idk, characters know of these other classic ballets, i guess it's possible swan lake as a ballet exists too. nobody's mentioning anything though lol. now i'm like.....okay so another tchaikovsky composed ballet was relevant / known in the sleeping beauty episode, where electricity was also a thing people were aware existed, if rare, not sure when this series was set but late 19th century seems plausible enough and swan lake wasn't immediately popular so maybe it exists but is too niche lore for these characters to be familiar with it lmao.....but then i'm like wait hang on. what if it must be after 1892 because the dance of the sugarplum fairy playing when ahiru walks in on mytho practicing seems to be diagetic. and then i'm like, nijinksy was only born in 1890, and didn't perform afternoon of a faun until 1912, and that seems just a little late, although at the same time everyone's existing in a fairy tale town and it could feasibly be any point in time outside of that. this tangent is going on way too long and my Real Conclusion of course is that we're not really meant to match up any timeline with the In Real Life timelines of when ballets premiered and became popular / established as Classics)
back to the point: out of the four main roles, tutu magically and mysteriously disappeared but didn't outright die the way that the human knight was definitely killed, and the duck who is given her powers / role is apparently truly just some random duck who happened to care for mytho (thinking about his apparent affinity for birds and theirs for him), kraehe was probably not a part of the story at all as the daughter of the raven and rue is apparently just some random baby who was kidnapped, mytho didn't die because he's the same self he was from the story, uninterrupted, and the knight did die, and fakir is just some kid but is also apparently identified as the reincarnation of that knight. and, whether or not that's just some coincidence or meant to be true, it's true for all intents and purposes since fakir found mytho and chose to devote himself to protecting him and is aware of / thinks of himself as the knight, and if the raven and drosselmeyer could've picked some random babies and ducks to have roles in the story, it shouldn't actually be a detriment to fakir if he's actually also just some guy who chose to be the knight rather than also actually already that knight reincarnated. the roles of both tutu and lohengrin are supposed to be intrinsically limited by their same roles as written in the story, where clearly drosselmeyer, wanting conflict and drama and peak effective tragedy, and kraehe / the raven as antagonists to these two, expect and want tutu to willingly vanish again and the knight to wield his sword and, at some point here, die. which, in season one, it seems likely enough that although fakir wasn't exactly instantly torn apart by the raven attack that Got him, he would've died if not for edel's intervention altering the story. anyway, assuming the roles comes from Choosing it / being willing to accept it and having some sort of magical artifact access out here, ahiru having a heart shard, rue having...raven blood and the fact that there's also the like, actual ravens out there who are Also magic b/c they're doing evil stuff, and turning into cursed pointe shoes and attacking canaries so the prince might jump out a window to save one, and fakir having magic swords. as well as, you know, the prince, the most magic artifact of all, truly
i'm kind of losing the point there lmfao just getting into details in a tangent. what i was trying to point out is that yeah, the knight's the only one of the four main roles who was clearly, officially, violently killed in the story. and then i was thinking about how, as far as i can think, it kind of comes totally out of nowhere in season two that like, oh hey, also fakir is a descendent of drosselmeyer's and i guess has that same magic writing ability. not that i think these season two framework shifts like That, or like kraehe being the daughter of the raven instead of just directly standing in for the raven as a concept and character, or like "oh right and also i'd poisoned mytho back in the season one finale" weren't possibly in mind the whole time, Or that if they weren't that's a problem, Or that either way, they needed to be foreshadowed / set up Textually in season one or anything, since you do need to change things up for there to Be a season two that doesn't have to retread the conflicts in the same way, and that's what these shifts allow for. it's still just that the effect is like, oh damn, fakir isn't just The Knight from the story reincarnated, he ALSO happens to have drosselmeyer's magic powers b/c they're related??? wow what a coincidence, that's so lucky for him in affording him Magic Powers that don't come from the story b/c if he wields the power of being the knight he Has to inevitably die, and while the power to write reality is clearly dangerous and Could kill him (or others), there's at least a chance, whereas it seems like otherwise, if you're accessing the powers that come with having a role from the story, you either have to accept the same fate as in the story, someone with the power of those who guide the story, e.g. edel, must externally alter its course, or you have to give up the role and its powers, like ahiru ultimately did by giving up the final piece of mytho's heart, and fakir did by no longer trying to be the knight and instead protecting everyone by figuring out how to wield his power to Write.
so then basically my thought was, hey, maybe it's Not *just* a coincidence that fakir's Also drosselmeyer's descendent. in the same way that it's not Just a coincidence that the original tutu, having made this sacrifice in the story, is somehow, in part or in whole, attached to the prince's feeling of hope, and able to manifest even once that piece of the prince's heart has been returned and ahiru no longer "officially" has access to tutu's role and power (whether that power is gone b/c her powers were all about returning the prince's heart shards or because the powers she had were the prince's, because of having a piece of his heart). there's already these parallels between the roles of this tragic princess and the knight, both fated to disappear and die, respectively, and the story rewards these noble sacrifices even as it demands them b/c the author loves tragedy, b/c drosselmeyer's also trying to work within some conventions here to have a cohesive story and to allow enough hope in the story to motivate the characters and give everything enough stakes to really be effectively tragic (although he was also apparently writing characters who'd appear and then forever disappear on the same page, so. all to a degree lol). and yet the story and the people in it can also operate outside of drosselmeyer's Intent and Control and even knowledge of what all is a factor in everything going on, because that's part of his power, the stories and their characters become people who are real in the same way that people not from the story are real, and there's elements of who they were and are and can be that drosselmeyer didn't write. rue wasn't meant to sacrifice herself, edel / uzura wasn't meant to help the characters avoid tragedy, ahiru was meant to be powerless as a duck (and a regular girl), fakir was meant to be powerless or die, tbh mytho was probably meant to prevail in the end but also maybe drosselmeyer wouldn't've minded if the raven won And Also definitely wouldn't've minded if mytho going "well fuck this, i'll take out my heart again, regain it, kill you that time, then also kill myself" had been seen through which would've been decidedly ultimately tragic even if the prince also "won," and/or if the prince just kept getting stuck in these stalemates and having to shatter & regain his heart in an eternal loop (thinking of how mytho sure managed to like, phase Inside the raven magically via giant swan made of light (see: my theory that although that's very [tutu] visuals, tutu is also kinda Hope Embodied in this series, and we don't quite know whether original tutu's magic powers were different from the prince's magic abilities, or how, and i like to believe that mytho Can also manifest as a giant swan made of light) which was apparently only an option after he not only regained the capacity to feel hope but kinda had an actual feeling of hope kickstarted by ahiru, who's been and continues tapping into tutu's power as being so associated with / tied to Hope as a concept in general, so he presumably couldn't've done that move otherwise).
SO we're really meandering around here, by which i mean that i am, but so it goes. my point is!!! with All That in mind, and again reiterating how i opened that last paragraph before getting a little off track as always, i was thinking that it might not be Just A Coincidence that fakir is both the reincarnation of the knight / takes on the role of the knight, AND has drosselmeyer's magic writing powers in this completely separate matter of genealogy. (also, i'm sorry, but total tangent again: i'm not 100% on the timeline of things, but i'm like, okay, the raven comes into the real world, and the prince follows it, and then we know that this real world town had like, these killer raven attacks that could disappear an infant or kill a kid's parents. and i think we can suppose that rue and fakir happen to be pretty much the same age, and rue was kidnapped as a baby, so the raven was definitely around then, and fakir's parents were killed when he was like, a young kid but definitely not a baby or even a toddler, and rue was also running around and able to dance and only knew herself as kraehe until meeting mytho and wanting to give herself another name as just a human. so like....i'm bad at estimating ages but like, what, they're at least 5 when they meet mytho? maybe more like 6 or 7. the point is, so there were raven attacks for actual Years before the prince shattered his heart? and maybe mytho was fighting the raven in that perpetual stalemate for all those years, but probably he would've aged those several years if he existed outside the story's [Paused In Time] situation but still had his heart, since it's presumably his having Lost his heart that means he has no pulse and doesn't age and, you know, has lost his memories and emotions. and if we say it was like, at least 4 years or something, and mytho's like, ambiguously sort of Older Teen, say 16 or 17, idk (he's a baby still ;m; but also a fairytale prince, so) and you supposed he aged while out of the story And that he was out of the story and fighting the raven those several years before giving up his heart, that'd mean that when the book left off, he was locked in this deadly battle for the kingdom with the main villain as like, circa 11 years old or what have you. not outside the realm of fiction or fairytales, but still....but more so than that, idk, you'd think if there was this magic storybook prince around fighting the raven/s for years, full hearted and thus with his memories / sense of self intact, people would've been as aware of his presence as that of these killer ravens, and like, actually know who he is, as siegfried, and prior to there being this guy, mytho, who only fakir and co. and rue, out of anyone else in town, realize is actually this prince from a story that exists as a storybook in their world. which, i Guess it's possible that mytho was around outside the story for years before shattering his heart to seal the raven away, but also, seems like maybe instead it was years before he followed the raven out of the story and then once he did he pretty much immediately sacrificed his heart? not that the All Realities Narrator mentions a gap between the raven escaping the story and the prince chasing after it, but a) they also didn't specifically say that this didn't happen and b) maybe it was just some like, issue of jumping between dimensions basically, i.e. from the perspective of mytho in the story he did follow the raven out immediately, only to find that from the perspective of this other world, the raven had been an issue for years and c) maybe this difference in time was so that mytho would be dropped into more of an equivalent situation as he was in back in the story, where the raven had Also already been a problem for years in that story's universe, before the point where drosselmeyer has died and the story is left off unfinished. so here's mytho now entering this other reality, where even though he himself has just shown up after having battling the raven for years In Story (and then in stasis because the story was not able to progress in its own world), and is having to choose to protect these people who have not Just been introduced to the raven's attacks, but have been dealing with it for years as something that can and has killed people, just as was the case with the townspeople back in the world of the story.)
okay i apologize to the readers and to myself, no more tangents: what if!!!! it's not a fortunate coincidence that fakir has access to the powers of the separate roles of "the knight from the story" and "drosselmeyer's descendent in this world"!!!! What If!!!!!!!!! the knight's death, rather than being truly "useless," actually still counted as a sacrifice made in the hope of protecting others, and was thusly rewarded with some form of success, as other such sacrifices are rewarded both in the story of prinz und rabe, but also in the overall story of this series, aka princess tutu, although clearly in the end the Happy Ending comes from not only these sacrifices but the characters all protecting each other so that these ultimate self sacrifices don't need to be made (thinking of how often characters talk about wanting to protect each other, fakir being motivated to try Writing again after realizing all these other characters are doing their best to protect him, mytho saying he won't Give Up Again to ahiru (also tutu....just standing here staring at the wall like blair witch style that he never seems to have known that the duck was not only the version of tutu he'd been encountering but also ahiru who he was like "hey bestie :)" to in ep 14 before getting ko'd and never knowingly talking to her again haha scream that's just. that's fine!!! anyway rue could tell him but then again like, a little late. UNLESS they can just come back and visit?? i have some sense that there might have once been plans to make a season three for the series if possible way back in the day, yknow, when said series was being released, but i only "remember" this from Maybe someone's post from that 15th anniversary event and maybe, jonathan frakes voice, it never happened) referring to his intent to sacrifice his heart again as being that "giving up"......THE POINT BEING. maybe the knight's death was a sacrifice, and according the role that such sacrifices have, that sacrifice had some positive, helpful, protecting effect, and in this case, it was that the knight's reincarnation had these Other powers as well beyond the knight's role in the story, so that this knight could do more but protect mytho some but ultimately die in the effort with that death Supposedly being for nothing, aka the fact that fakir is related to drosselmeyer is thanks to lohengrin sacrificing himself to protect mytho, even if the circumstances of his death did not appear to, and were not intended by drosselmeyer to, have any direct benefit for anyone. did the knight somehow have conscious influence over his own reincarnation, or was it more like, these superhuman forces Rewarding the sacrifice / affording the knight this new chance at fate? could be either i guess!! (and was fakir born when the raven entered that world, or prior? he was as old as he was when he met mytho, had mytho Just shown up or did he really arrive just after the raven and had been fighting all the time and it's just that, for whatever reason, nobody else knew he was there? or they did, but once the raven was sealed away, maybe other people Forgot what had happened prior too, re: the prince and the Monster Raven anyways? since while people had known about the like, regular bird form ravens who killed people, nobody mentioned the big german abstract expressionism sky blocking raven who ate hearts.....and not like there wasn't people dying back in the story despite the prince's efforts (though that was related as well to like, people Definitely knowing the prince existed, and Despairing b/c he was so epic, actually) i don't know, it could be Either Way, i'm just wondering like, was fakir born prior to a character from The Story entering that world, or after? i feel like Maybe some timeline details might've been mentioned re: when the ravens showed up, but i don't remember. although i guess it's not impossible re: this theory that he was born beforehand but is still definitely the knight, and as i type this, i remember the whole "he's always had the birthmarks that identified him as the reincarnation of the knight" element, so it's Already True that whenever he was born, that was the case, aaand also i'm remembering that lohengrin died before where the story left off, and in that story's universe, idk, maybe years passed....and i Just was talking about how maybe the timelines / passage of time are not parallel and Aligned 1:1 between worlds here, so. point is! however it shakes out, lohengrin died for all intents and purposes Before fakir was born, who Is the knight whether or not he's really lohengrin's reincarnation, which he Could be, because lohengrin Was a human who Did die. so!!!!! (it's 6am....i've been writing this for hours lol. i prommy my thoughts would've been a Little more in order otherwise. possibly)
TL;DR: what if, rather than the knight's death being "useless" and his failing to protect the prince through being killed, it still counted as a sacrifice to protect mytho, and when you consider how this Theme of sacrifice is handled throughout the series, it would be in line with everything else if this sacrifice was rewarded even if the text of prinz und rabe / drosselmeyer did not consider this / recognize this to be a "successful" act of self sacrifice to protect the prince, and that reward was the knight's reincarnation Also being a descendent of drosselmeyer with a power that would allow him to protect people without being held to the knight's fate of being killed, rather than it being a complete unrelated coincidence that fakir is the knight And a person who just so happens to have the ability to write reality, thanks to being in the same family as drosselmeyer. what if lohengrin's sacrifice let him escape his own fate down the line and this time "successfully" protect the prince without having to die before the story finishes! it wouldn't change anything in the story as we know it and i think it'd be Thematically Resonant.
#that's#princess tutu#not playable trailer (2014) or part time (job)#''time to sit down and write probably a good handful of extensive paragraphs abt this for a little while. say an hour at most!!''#[smash cut to me typing these tags hours later. it's 6:30am. the sun is up. head in hands]#never know when it's time to think and post about this again#also i only remember so much of The Canon Lore so if there's info i missed here and mused about yknow. feel free to chime in#love how this series has so many quick / fleeting / One Time / vague / ambiguous mentions of pieces of information#so there's plenty of threads that are really intriguing and you're given enough glimpses to piece some other pictures together if you want#but nothing is really established with tons of certainty / precise in depth clarity in canon which gives you plenty of room to Interpret and#Extrapolate as we are doing here all the time#for example: lohengrin (Presumably the knight but! we don't even Know that 100% lol) was mytho's boyfriend. pensive#not to kin drosselmeyer but first of all: consider the drama of that :/ he did die tragically :/#second of all why not. third of all: see the mentions about tutu and the knight having these parallel roles in the story and beyond it...#and third point fifth of all well clearly tutu was his magical gf spirit of dance hope embodiment...#fourth of all idk the story's all ''look any and everyone is in love with the prince. it's kind of a problem actually'' lmao#not the first person to die by the raven monster for being too in love with the guy!! apparently!#mytho's gotta end up with someone completely Not From the story b/c his other dates in the story die or vanish :/#haha but seriously. and he can turn into a giant swan at will if his ability to feel Hope is all fired up. haha but seriously#well anyway! the point is this#everyone is always like ''wow the cringe and fail knight. way to die Uselessly 9_9'' about said knight#but what if! his death actually had this power and had a helpful; successfully protective impact on the story in a way no one was aware of#sorry for taking 10 paragraphs to say as much in there. w/the last several getting extra long....it is My Way#i am [epcot ball vine voice Mytho...] about pt lore lmao but i can still ponder other things. he's connected to all the others! bless him
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So, I’ve finished Bridgerton and GOSH the last three eps just left me cold.
Like, guys, I’m a SAP for romance, and I was just...TIRED of it by the end.
There will be spoilers below so continue at your peril.
Now maybe it’s that I really don’t like stories about conception and childbearing, like, at all. I’m pretty wildly turned off by them, so, yeah. I mean, I think there’s a potential interesting story to be told after the traditional happy ending of the marriage plot, in terms of actually learning to live with someone in a marriage, but, just not this one. I have no interest in the drama of who was wrong and who was right or more wrong or whatever in the whole central conflict, because UGH.
The first half of the show is, in retrospect, really enjoyable and fun, but the second half is DREARY, IMO. The only characters who actually get a happy ending are Simon and Daphne, all the side characters end unhappily or at best just sort of on the sad side of neutral.
Cut because this got long and rambling.
Miss Thompson feels the most egregious because she suffers so much and at the end can only get married to a total stranger who is willing to put up with her and her child. And the fact that the ONE young woman of color gets such a terrible ending opposite the happy ending of the white woman feels...ugh, not great?
And, just, I kinda hate how villified the Featheringtons are. It’s like someone said, “okay, let’s take Mrs. Bennet but make her an outright villain and then give her a comeuppance.” Like, ultimately it feels like the women who are out for stable marriages are very judged by the show. Even Miss Thompson, again, gets treated pretty damn harshly (and made to act pretty bitchy for exactly an episode) when she’s just a pregnant teenager alone in the world who is terrified. Who doesn’t want to be on the streets forced into prostitution, which is what tended to happen in that situation.
As someone who has dealt with the deep-seated fear of not being able to provide for yourself and make a living on your own, I cannot judge women for just wanting to be provided for, or for their daughters to be. And the idea that I should enjoy seeing a woman lose everything from her husband’s mistakes when she cannot support herself or her family, like, naw, yanno?
Meanwhile, the brothers...Anthony...I do not get the point of his story. He’s just wrong at every turn, and he just goes from wrong to wrong in an opposite way. The middle one, whatever his name was, uh, okay is now having an affair with a woman not of his class, which isn’t that exactly how Anthony’s story started? And he has learned a lesson about how you shouldn’t be homophobic because it’s hard being gay in 1813. (I was REALLY hoping he was going to have a queer awakening and I feel more than a little cheated TBH.) And the sweet young one is gonna go be sweet in Greece or something to recover from heartbreak.
And can we talk about the sex scenes? Like, how they clearly thought that having them and being blatant about it was EDGY or whatever, but actually, they are pretty cringey? Like I was legit cringing by the end because WOW he finally CAME IN HER, it’s SO ROMANTIC, despite the complete lack of foreplay and the fact it lasts for literally 20 seconds.
Just, there are ways to do lots of onscreen sex in a sexy way, and at first they were doing alright, I thought, but then it just got perfunctory and they gave up having ANY build-up or foreplay, and it’s just, oh, hey, we’re humping again for 30 seconds. Like, not any artsy cuts so you can imagine anything more is happening than penetration, hump, hump, orgasm.
Just two poor actors having to dry hump each other over and over and try to make non-embarrassing orgasm grunts. And DAMN the Duke and Duchess of Hastings are apparently both exhibitionists with all the places they like screwing.
Y’all know me. I’m not a prude. So when I’m made uncomfortable by the sex there’s something not right going on.
So yeah, ultimately, the initial fake dating to real marriage arc was fun, but the second half just totally dropped what made the show enjoyable for me.
#bridgerton#threerings' reactions#I honestly managed to totally ignore costuming for the last 3 eps#unfortunately I was busy being annoyed by writing choices
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clairvoyant. (m) part seven.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a2fc5c2fddc4ba70030f6b5818a2d29b/e670414c213fcb4e-5a/s540x810/d71aedec7f6442426fff52052709e094021b0287.jpg)
masterlist.
pairing: taehyung x reader (briefly) jungkook x reader
word count: 15k+ damn my bad
warnings: nsfw, spanking, dirty talk, unprotected sex (dont do this) but otherwise pretty tame at the end
authors note: i know i said this would go up monday but im clearly a liar i stayed up late last night writing this and it’s partially edited so if something looks fucked up dont come for me :( ill edit it later i just wanted to get it up lmfao im thinking another chapter left, maybe 2 anyways lmk what u think
Its Monday afternoon and you’re sat at your desk at work, your fingers mindlessly tapping on your mousepad as you retouch a portrait on your desktop. To be honest, you weren’t really paying it any attention, your mind kept drifting over to the text Jungkook had sent you the other night while he was drunk. Sure he had asked you to help him get his dick wet and a part of you knows he meant help as in_ help me find someone new_ but the perverted side of you hoped he meant help as in let me fuck you.
“Okay, unless you’re trying to make her skin look like plastic you need to ease off.”
Your hands jump at Yoongi’s voice and you realize the monstrosity you created on the models face, wincing as you delete the layer entirely to start over.
“Oops, thanks.” Yoongi just laughs, resting his arm on your shoulder and slouching over your seated frame as you resume editing with a slightly clearer head.
“Did you sleep okay last night?” He had been watching you during your entire shift together, today was an easier day, only slight organizing and retouching being the things on the to-do list but you had been very spacey. You were misnaming files and not being able to find them on the desktop, forgetting basic commands on photoshop that were second nature to you and you had mistakenly put coffee grounds instead of instant coffee in Yoongis morning cup and hadn’t realized.
Your hand came up to scratch your temple as you thought back to yesterday, waking up at three in the afternoon hungover as fuck in Jimin’s bedroom. Both of you had managed to go to sleep in the same exact clothes you went out in and your body was stiff which lead you to believe whatever sleeping position you chose had been very unfortunate.
Both of your phones had died in the middle of the night since the pair of you had been way to drunk to even think of plugging them in and when Jimin finally waltzed in from the bathroom, his hair damp from the shower, he suggested going out to eat so you let your phone remain dead in your pocket as you went about your day. You were blissfully unaware of Jungkook’s text sitting pretty in your inbox.
In turn Jungkook was sat in his own bed, a massive headache pounding so hard he swore his eyes were vibrating from the force. He remembered the text, hell he remembered jacking off in the shower before sending said text. So when he was finally able to sit up without wanting to vomit he was expecting his phone to have a notification from you, your typical response backed with a handful of suggestive emojis because you knew it made him blush.
But when there was nothing he felt his eyebrows furrow together, his finger locking his phone and tossing it beside him in bed as he lay back down. Had he crossed a line? His message was tame enough to leave it open to interpretation but Jungkook knew how he meant it when he sent it, he may have been high off his orgasm but he knew.
He continued to lay in bed for the majority of the day, only leaving to go to the cafeteria with Taehyung once he finally awoke, equally as hungover. He ate as much as he could stomach, not accustomed to hangovers that left his stomach feeling queasy. Unlike you who was currently stuffing as many breadsticks in your mouth as you could in the restaurant you and Jimin occupied, only leaving once your stomach was at capacity. You didn’t get a chance to see Jungkook’s text until eight o’clock that night and when you did see it your mind first went to sex. Jungkook was asking you for sex.
Sort of.
Slapping perverted thoughts from your head you responded with a simple of course i’ll help you. Leaving it at that, you knew he had sent you the first text while wasted so you were giving him the benefit of the doubt.
Those cursed perverted thoughts haunted your dreams though, images of you riding a shy Jungkook on your bed until he came noisily playing over and over and over you were surprised you hadn’t woken up with your underwear covered in remnants of an orgasm.
You hadn’t slept well at all.
You tell Yoongi this with a tight lipped smile and he nods sympathetically, “What are you doing after this?”
Looking at the clock you see there is twenty minutes left before the end of your shift, Taehyung had already messaged you earlier in the day asking to hang out and whether that meant actually hanging out or hanging out you weren’t sure but either way was fine with you. You needed a distraction to help you stop seeing the image of Jungkook cumming replaying in your mind.
“I’m seeing Tae.”
You don’t look up to see Yoongi’s reaction, not wanting to see any facial expression of judgment when you mention Taehyung’s name. Thankfully he only hums in response, watching you save your current file and start to shut down the computer and going to his own workstation to start doing the same.
When the time comes to leave you say your goodbyes, Yoongi getting into an uber to head to Jimin’s, telling you if you wanted to join them after you were done with Taehyung you were more than welcome. You hug him and tell him you’ll think about it before hopping onto the bus and heading back to campus.
The weather was getting colder in the day, its nearing the end of the first week of October and the fallen leaves decorating the sidewalks made that obvious. Once you hop off on campus you take note of the flyers plastered on bulletin boards, big posters taped on the sides of the buildings to announce the various Halloween themed events going on and you grin at all the activities that you love. This was always your favorite time of year.
As you trek your way into the boys dorm you greet Baekhyun at the front desk before entering the elevator with your phone in your hand. Your eyes are downcast as you scroll through your campus portal, skimming through the various assignments you had due this month and starting to feel the small tingles of stress creep up on you.
The elevator dings and you step out, your fingers tapping on an assignment due later tonight. Your eyes are glued to your device so you don’t notice Jungkook stood a few feet away, frozen in spot as he sees you. It’s not until you’re about to run into him that his shadow snaps you out of your daze, your eyes flicking up, “Oh, Jungkook!” You throw him a charming smile as you wrap your arms around him in greeting.
Jungkook relaxes when he feels your embrace, the nerves he’s felt since sending you that text vanish, his own arms wrapping around your body with a gentle squeeze. “Hey Y/N, what are you doing here?”
In retrospect he knows what you’re doing here but he needs to hear you say it. He needs to remind himself that you’re not here to see him to fulfill any sick desires he has.
You pull back still smiling, slipping your phone into your back pocket to give him your full attention. “Taehyung text me wanting to hang out so,” you spread your arms out widely, “here I am.”
He can only grin at that, of course you weren’t here to see him. You were here to see Taehyung. The man you fucked. Constantly. Not him.
You take note of his appearance, a giant black hoodie swallowing his frame and his school bag draped over his shoulder, “Are you heading out somewhere?” You speak again when he says nothing in response.
“Yeah, just to a study group at the library.” His eyes give you another once over, he wants to keep talking to you but it’s clear you have other things to get to, “I don’t want you to keep Tae waiting so I’ll be off.” He shoves his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie with a small smile and steps around you awkwardly.
You can only mutter out a small okay because he’s acting a little strange but thats typically how Jungkook acts. He’s relatively shy, only speaking when spoken to and whenever he has bouts of confidence where he jokes and laughs and says things you’d never imagine him saying it only lasts for a moment before he’s back to shy Jungkook.
You wave at him and continue walking down the hallway to Taehyung’s room. Jungkook manages to take two steps towards the elevator before stopping and turning back around, “Y/N!” He shouts, flinching a little at his own voice and cringing when he sees you jump for a second, turning around with a curious face. “Do you think we could hang out soon? Like…” he rummages in his brain as he thinks of something else to say, “maybe after all our classes tomorrow?”
You think for a moment, you have a few classes after the creative writing class you share with him and another work shift right after so that won’t work. “I can’t tomorrow but after classes on Friday I’m free.” Jungkook doesn’t even think about his schedule, shouting out that Friday works for him as well and now your beaming smile is back and Jungkook can feel his stupid heart skip a beat at the sight.
Now he can finally leave in peace, a small pep in his step as he enters the elevator but that doesn’t stop him from aggressively jabbing his finger against the close door button so he doesn’t have to see you walk into Tae’s room.
Luckily the week passes by quickly, Jungkook had nerves bubbling up in his stomach the entire time. It wasn’t like he had never hung out with you one on one, you guys usually hung out during the free period you had after your shared class but it was something that was sort of routine. This time he had explicitly asked to hang out, he wasn’t sure why that felt so different but it did so as his professor recites his final sentences Jungkook is totally zoned out, only coming back when he hears he’s dismissed. And then hes shooting up out of his seat, throwing his backpack over his shoulders and speed walking out of the building and onto the quad.
He passes the stupid cafe and ducks his head, walking even faster to avoid the possibility of Jisoo spotting him through the giant windows. When he feels he can no longer be spotted he lets out a breath, his shoulders relaxing and his pace slowing down. That gross feeling he had in his chest after Jisoo had slammed the door in his face hadn’t gone away, he still felt like he had done something horrible even though he knows he hadn’t but the small glares Jisoo would send him whenever she would spot him on campus just made that feeling linger.
He was counting down the days she would graduate, or at least until she’d set her eyes on someone else because he wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. She hadn’t resorted to shouting things at him or anything too out of pocket but it was clear to Jungkook that she was telling her circle of friends that he had done something despicable and they were telling their friends. The whispers and small huddling that would happen when he would pass them on campus or in the rare occurrence that they shared a class made that obvious. He hated it.
Once he finally makes it into the girl’s dorm Joy greets him with a smile and he tries his best to return it. Letting her simple question erase the worries in his mind, “Are you going to the bonfire tonight?”
He grabs his id back from her and looks up with a nod, that was actually what he was going to suggest the two of you do. He had seen the abundance of posters around campus advertising the event and it sounded like fun. “Yeah actually, I’ve never been.”
Joy smiles with a clap of her hands, knowing it’s his first year at this school, “It’s a good time, lots of snacks and someone always finds a way to sneak booze in. You guys will like it.” She refers to you when she says that, already knowing thats who Jungkook was here to see. Jungkook can feel someone behind him so he shuffles away to let the person sign in, waving at Joy as he makes his way up to your room.
The hallways of your floor are covered in fake spiderwebs, skeletons draped over some girl’s doors while others had plastered colored paper and drawn up their own version of spooky designs that reminded him of his years in elementary school. It was cute and honestly the boy’s dorms could take some notes because the only decoration they currently had was a skeleton sitting on one of the toilets in the bathroom.
As he stands in front of your door he takes note of the white board you and Wendy have hung up and he laughs softly when he sees whats written on it. In red marker it says *dracula voice* we want to suck your blood with some poorly drawn fangs underneath it and in the corner beside it the word dick is written with an obnoxious arrow coming up to point at the word blood to replace it.
His knuckles knock on your room door, hearing shuffling from behind it and some laughter before it’s thrown open and you’re greeting him with a smile, “Hey Jungkook.” Your lips shimmer back thanks to the clear lipgloss you’re currently wearing and his eyes zero in on them.
“Hey.” He mumbles out and you catch his eyes giving you a once over, finally making eye contact when you step to the side to let him in. He steps into the room and notices that you and your roommate must really love this holiday because you both have decked it out in halloween decorations. There’s a giant spiderweb rug in the center of the floor between your beds and a string of bat fairy lights hung behind your beds where you pinned more polaroids onto it. Theres a soft orange glow that fills the room and he notices you two have even gone as far as sticking led tape to the ceiling for the ambiance.
“Love the commitment.”
You chuckle, pointing over to your roommate with a smile, “She’s a slut for halloween and so am I so we had to. It’s not fully finished yet, we gotta grab some more stuff don’t we?”
When he looks over at Wendy’s side he spots her sat on her bed as she ties her shoes, “You bet your ass we do, I’m thinking we need different curtains or maybe a full on skeleton like Yeri has hung on her door.”
Jungkook can’t imagine how much more effort you two could put into your room but the determination set on Wendy’s face shows that she’s not joking. “Alright I’m off to go be a slave to the systems of education, pray I make it through this four hour lecture.” You laugh and clasp your hands in faux prayer, laughing harder when she rolls her eyes at you with a smile, telling you and Jungkook goodbye and dragging her feet like a child as she leaves.
“What did you wanna do today?” You ask him as you go back to your mirror to finish fixing your hair up. Jungkook sets his bag on the floor beside your bed, rolling his shoulders as he sits on it and shuffles backwards until he feels the cool of the wall against his back.
“There’s that rooftop bonfire happening later on, I was thinking maybe we could go to that?”
Your face perks up when he mentions that, immediately saying it was a good idea. That yearly bonfire was always the best, last year they had managed to bring up a giant blow up projector and played some classic halloween movies while everyone sat around the bonfire and made s’mores. Jin had snuck in a few flasks full of vodka so you and your group had been nice and drunk, bundled up in blankets while Hocus Pocus played.
“That actually sounds perfect, did you wanna head down to the store to grab some stuff?” Your attention was back on the mirror, your fingers coming to wipe at the corners of your mouth to fix any smudges of your gloss so Jungkook felt like he could stare at you and not get caught. You had your hair in messy waves, one side tucked behind your ear as you leaned forward and the cropped grey crewneck you had on wasn’t going to do much to protect you from the cold but it was obvious the outfit was for purely aesthetic purposes.
“Sure, lets go.”
The both of you head back out onto campus, two reusable bags in your hand to help you carry whatever you decide to buy. The bonfire usually had enough snacks for everyone but it was always good to go out and buy stuff you knew you liked as a safety net. The walk was nice, the sun had finally set, the last remaining hues of purple peeking away behind the buildings, allowing the floor lights to illuminate the path you were walking on.
Jungkook seemed to be out of his usual shy shell, his hands flailing around as he talked to you about the project he was working on in his intro to ceramics class. He swore he had no talent in it and was only taking it since he needed the units the class came with but you found it hard to believe since the photos he would post online said otherwise.
“You’re so full of shit.”
His mouth dropped open, his arms freezing in the position they were currently in as he tried to show you the motions of making a mug, “I swear. I’m gonna make you a mug and it’s gonna be the ugliest thing you’ve ever seen and you’re gonna have to love it because you doubted me.”
That just makes you laugh and he smiles down at you, “I’d love that, make it extra big too. Big enough so I can pour two cups of coffee in it and I’ll treasure it forever, no matter how ugly it is.”
He nods in thought, his lips pursed together because he was definitely gonna do that now. He really wasn’t the worst at ceramics but now he was determined to make you a half decent mug to drink your morning coffee. “Deal, give me a week.” He pulled the door open for the store and let you slip in first, the bells dinging up ahead to notify the worker of your presence.
You went for the chips, stuffing two bags of spicy tteokbokki chips into your bag as your first choice. Jungkook roams over to the sweets, grabbing a few of the chocopie for himself, calling your name out as he holds one up and when you nod he grabs a few more for you as well. It takes you both a few minutes to raid the shelves, huddling in a corner with the bag pulled apart to inspect the damage, “Is this enough?”
Jungkook hums as his eyes scan the contents, spicy chips, seaweed crisps, chocopies, some sausages, two small containers of banana milk for himself and a few cans of sparkling soju crammed at the bottom for you two to conceal. This seemed like enough, and you kept saying there would be more options once you got there so he didn’t think you should load up on too much. “Yeah, I think we’re good.”
Satisfied, you pay for your goods and make your way back to your building where the event would take place. You hop into the elevator and click the very top floor, he could see your big smile in the reflection, your feet tapping excitedly and he feels a smile spreading on his own face, happy that he chose an activity that made you this giddy.
When the doors open to the roof you step out onto the hallway and walk up three steps through the doors that lead to roof access. Jungkook had no idea either of the dorm buildings even had roof access so he’s amazed at that fact alone. The entire perimeter is blocked up by a cement border to prevent anyone from falling off, a plethora of plants covering it up to make it look more pleasing to the eye. Right in the middle of it all was the bonfire, thin and long and already lit up with people sat on the surrounding couch.
Besides that were a handful of bean bags and comfy chairs in case there wasn’t enough seating on the couch and if that wasn’t enough either there was a giant space open up in front of the blow up projector for anyone to lay a comfy blanket down to chill.
The snack and beverage table was placed to the left which was where you were currently dragging Jungkook to. You pulled out a few of the treats you had bought to leave them for anyone to enjoy and Jungkook couldn’t resist grabbing a piece of chocolate that was meant for the s’mores, letting the candy melt in his mouth as his eyes roamed the place some more.
“Hey, isn’t that Jimin?” He spoke slowly, not wanting the melted candy to drool out of his mouth. You were munching on a cinnamon cracker, your head turning to where he was pointing and low and behold it was Jimin. He was currently sat on the grey couch in front of the fire right next to a girl you recognized as Chaeyoung, she was holding a marshmallow on top of the fire, laughing as Jimin surely teased her for burning it.
“Yeah it is.” You smiled to yourself, seeing your best friend behaving uncharacteristically flirty, accepting a bite of the slightly burnt marshmallow smushed between the chocolate and crackers in Chaeyoung’s hands, licking his lips and plucking the snack out of her grasp to feed her the rest of it.
Jungkook walked towards them, seeing a few empty spots to their left on the smaller couch by the fire, he noticed the metal basket by the couch containing blankets so he snagged one out before he took a seat, handing it to you when you sat beside him.
“Y/N, Jungkook!” Jimin notices you two the second you sit down, popping the tip of his finger into his mouth to lick away the sticky residue from it.
“Hey, I didn’t think you’d be here.” You tease him, setting your bag in front of you and Jungkook and draping the blanket over the both of your laps for some added warmth.
“I wasn’t going to but this one,” he drapes his arm over Chaeyoung and she blushes at his display of affection, covering up a side of her face, “convinced me to come. Something about them playing The Lost Boys.”
She looked up at him and smiled, “It’s my all time favorite movie, I can’t believe you’ve never seen it.” Jimin just shrugs, a teasing smirk on his face and you wanna scream at how cute hes acting but you really don’t want to embarrass him. Park Jimim was not one for dates or romantics so seeing him on what could arguably be described as a date blind sided you.
“Oh, I’m Chaeyoung by the way.” She leans out of his embrace and reaches over with an extended hand. You lean over Jungkook to reach it, a giggly handshake being exchanged between you two, “Y/N. You’re a third year right? Political science major?”
“Yes, I am! I saw your photography exhibit by the way, super amazing.” Your hands come up to cup your cheeks at her compliment, suddenly feeling like you two are drunk strangers at a bar ready to spit compliment after compliment at each other.
“And you’re Jungkook right?” She speaks again, sitting back in her seat as she stares at him with an unreadable expression and you can feel Jungkook tense up slightly at being recognized because how the fuck would a third year know who he was. He wasn’t a social butterfly at all, he only knew you and your group and his other small group of friends that he studied with.
“Oh, yeah I am.” Jungkook reaches his own hand out to greet her and she does the same. Pulling her hand back after a moment and crossing her leg over the other in thought, “Weren’t you just dating Jisoo?”
There it is. Of course thats how she would know who he was. And that only proved his suspicion that Jisoo was spreading his name around.
She had a defensive cast over her gaze, her eyes boring into Jungkook to analyze him. It clicked instantly that Chaeyoung and Jisoo were best friends so theres no doubt that right now Chaeyoung is ready to chew Jungkook out for being what she thinks is a dirtbag.
You can see how wide Jungkooks eyes get at her question, readjusting himself on the couch while his mind sorts through any possible answer he can give her. How could he clear his name without sounding like the jerk she thinks he currently is?
“Uhm,” his eyes drift over to her for a moment and when he sees her unwavering gaze he looks at Jimin instead, seeing him with his lips pressed in a firm line, “we just went to dinner and the art exhibit. We weren’t dating.”
Chaeyoung’s look softens at that, his answer being a stark contrast to what Jisoo had told her. She had said Jungkook had made her his girlfriend and went on this amazing date and when she didn’t put out he told her they weren’t dating.
Jungkook continues to ramble, thinking that answer doesn’t satisfy her, “Jisoo’s a sweet girl, don’t get me wrong. We just weren’t compatible so it was best if we…moved on?”
Your hand comes up to pat his thigh on top of the blanket, comforting him slightly because you can see how nervous he got. His own hand comes down on top of yours, fingers gently wrapping around it and giving it a squeeze.
“Totally fair,” Chaeyoung finally speaks, “just wanted to make sure you didn’t dump my friend and quickly moved on with Y/N.” Her eyes flicker over to your hands and then up to you with a smile. Jimin cleared his throat beside her, his own hands coming up to rub together to try to clear any awkward tension.
“Okay,” he starts, eyes coming down to look at the plastic bag set by your feet, “please tell me you brought any sort of alcohol.”
You lift your hand off Jungkook’s thigh, leaning forward to rummage through the bottom of your bag and pulling out colorful cans of soju. You wave two of them in your hands in offering, tossing them both to Jimin when he cheers obnoxiously, pulling out another two for you and Jungkook to enjoy.
The four of you crack open the cans, bringing them together in cheers to prepare to down the entire thing as fast as you could before anyone could possibly rat you out. You manage half of it before having to pull back, the carbonation in the drink burning your nose and throat more than the soju in it, “Fuck, why did you get these?” Jimin coughs, fingers coming up to rub at his nose.
“They look like soda cans, I was trying to be inconspicuous.” Jungkook laughs at your pained expression, setting his drink on the floor to get up and grab some of the snacks to make s’mores.
Chaeyoung raises her finished can in the air in victory, licking her lips with a slight grimace, “Done!” She crumples up the can for dramatic effect, you and Jimin staring at her in shock and then looking at each other to see who could finish the rest of their drink faster.
Jimin manages three more gulps until he pulls back again, “Nope,” he coughs, letting out a burp as he pounds onto his chest, “can’t do it.” You finish your own can, tossing it into the second reusable bag you brought thats not being occupied. Chaeyoung jokingly calls Jimin a baby, taking his own can to finish off herself.
When Jungkook returns with his snacks & two metal skewers they fall into their own conversation and Jungkook is thankful because even though Chaeyoung seems okay with him he still feels like if he says the wrong thing she’ll turn and call him a fuck boy or something of that nature.
You reach for a skewer, popping a fluffy marshmallow onto the top of it and leaning forward to reach the fire. He mimics your actions, the both of you giggling when he drops his hand too low and his marshmallow burns a little too hot for a moment.
“Do you like your marshmallows well done?” He asks you as he looks at your fluffy snack hovering over the fire way too low since you were focused on staring at his, a teasing grin on his face, “‘Cause that shit is charred.”
You gasp as you pull back your now black marshmallow, frantically blowing on it when you notice its now entirely burnt and Jungkook cant help but laugh at the frown on your face. He pulls his own perfectly toasted marshmallow up towards your face to mock you, only laughing harder when you bring your own burnt one up beside it to compare them.
“I can still salvage it.” You try to convince yourself, your fingers trying to scrape and pluck away the burnt edges but Jungkook knows as well as you do that it’s beyond repair. While you focus on your failed attempt Jungkook prepares his own s’more, putting two pieces of chocolate around the gooey marshmallow and sandwiching it between the cinnamon crackers.
When he brings it up to your face with a sweet smile the frown on your face deepens at the nice motion, you take a small bite of it and let out a sound of satisfaction when the sweetness hits your tongue, “So good!”
He motions for you to finish it but you just take it from him and force feed it back to him, your hand cupping his cheek to push his lips open and its not until he lets out another laugh that you’re able to pop the rest of the treat into his mouth with no resistance. His cheeks are puffed up and he has a bit of chocolate smeared around his lips, looking absolutely adorable and you really can’t stop yourself from cupping both of his cheeks like an annoying auntie and cooing at him which only makes his cheeks warm up, his mouth coming to life to munch away to get his cheeks to deflate again.
“Cute.”
The following week goes on like normal except for the fact that now you’re slammed with work and school, barely getting a moment to see any of your friends between the chaos of it all. Jungkook has a small moment where he thinks he did something wrong since you seemed to drop off the face of the earth after the bonfire. You had both had a great time, a small buzz coursing through you from the soju and you had convinced him to cram with you on the oversized bean bags to watch the movie playing but your lack of communication even after your shared class has him slightly worried.
He’s currently sat at his desk, fingers tapping on his laptops keyboard as he tried to finish the last 300 words needed for this essay. Taehyung is sat at his own desk and it’s not until he starts to groan and furiously key smash that Jungkook stops what he’s doing to turn around and check on his roommates mental health. “You okay?”
Taehyung groans with his cheek pressed against the buttons on his keyboard, a constant string of the letter f being typed onto his own essay, “Sorry.” He apologizes when he realizes how loud he’s being, “If this is way more information than you were looking for I don’t care, but I haven’t gotten laid in over a week so I’m dying.”
Jungkook just laughs at the vulgar behavior that just comes naturally to Taehyung, until he realizes that his roommates statement of recent celibacy means he hasn’t seen you either. Taehyung lifts his head up, his fingers coming up to scratch as his faded red hair, deciding he should get to work and stop distracting his roommate with information on his personal life.
The tapping continues and Jungkook slides his phone out to send you a text to see if you were doing okay since he wasn’t the only one who hadn’t seen you recently. He sets his phone down after pressing send, letting the screen stay lit up as he goes back to his work, his eyes constantly darting back to check for any sign of life on your end.
When it vibrates against the desk he peers over to read your response, saying that work and school were ending your social life along with a photo of your current view at work being a desktop lined up with photos you were sorting through, a few textbooks to the left of it to show you trying your best to multitask.
Yoongi looks up from his own spot, peering over his computer to watch you stop whatever it is you’re doing to grab your phone the second it vibrates, small giggles leaving your body as you banter back and forth with Jungkook for the remainder of your shift. Yoongi knows you’re a sucker, he’s just waiting for you to realize it too.
It’s not until nearly a week and a half later that you have a minute to spare, your time already being occupied by Taehyung since he had begged and pleaded for you to help him with his hair dilemma. He’s determined to be Kaneki from Tokyo Ghoul and desperately needs to bleach out the faded ass red form his hair while also tackling his roots.
You’re sat on his desk chair while he sits on the floor between your legs with a bowl of bleach being held in his hands. You have teeny tiny foils in his hair to focus on the red ends first, your hands coming down to dip the tint brush into the thick bleach to coat onto his hair and then securely fold up the foils. “I really hope this comes out.” You mumble out as you fold up the final piece of foil, placing the brush into the remaining bleach for later.
“Me too, that costume is the only thing holding my life together.”
He reaches over to set the bowl onto the desk beside the two of you, coming back to get comfortable again between your legs, “Whys that?”
He whips around dramatically, an exasperated look on his face, “Whys that?” He mocks, his fingers coming up to grip your thighs, “I haven’t fucked you in ages.” He whines out, fingers digging into the flesh of your thighs harder. The foils on his head crinkle as he drops his face onto your stomach and you just roll your eyes at how he’s acting because it’s only been two weeks.
“You have a hand Taehyung.”
“It’s not the same!”
“Wow,” you laugh out, your hand coming up to awkwardly pat his tinfoil head, “I’ve just been overwhelmed with my current work load.” You explain your current situation, how all your professors were assigning massive projects back to back combined with the extra work at your job, it was taking its toll on you. You enjoy your classes and love your new job but you haven’t been able to catch a break lately.
“Let me help you ease your stress.” He mumbles out against the fabric of your shirt, his hands trailing up from their spot on your thighs up towards your center.
“I’m not fucking you while you have that shit in your hair.”
And just like that he deflates, his arms dropping like deadweight as he crumbles back to the floor like a child. “Fine.”
He stays in that same position, letting you pat your hand on his head as you both scrolled through your phones, only standing up after you had applied the bleach to his roots and deemed it ready to wash.
You make your way to the boys restroom, Taehyung shoving his head underneath the weak stream of water coming from the sink as you help him rinse the bleach from his hair. He stays with his head bowed forward, his eyes squeezed shut as you applied the purple toner you had mixed.
When you step away to rinse your hands he stands back up to stare at his reflection in the mirror, the skin around his hairline is red from irritation thanks to the bleach and the toner had turned a very scary shade of purple but he trusts you so he doesn’t panic.
“Just fifteen minutes max and then you’re good to go baby.” His eyes move to stare at you from the reflection, seeing you staring at him with a smile, he looks so cute with his hair balled up on top of his head, his eyes wide and curious.
“Then we can fuck?” Yup, and that cute innocent look is gone, but that tiny smile spreading on his face makes you crack, “Yes Tae, then we can fuck.”
So when the timer goes off Taehyung rips off his clothes, surely staining his shirt with the dye on his head but thats a problem for a later date, the shirt laying forgotten on the floor in the corner as he approaches the showers with his hand wrapped around your arm. “In here?” You shout out, your voice bouncing off the tiled room. It’s currently not occupied but you’re not sure how long that’s gonna last for.
“Why not? I don’t wanna wait any longer.” He shrugs, throwing open the shower curtain and letting out a loud scream when he comes face to face with that cursed skeleton everyone on his floor keeps moving around. You burst into laughter and he joins in, his hand clutching his chest to try to slow his heart beat. “Okay, that one’s occupied.” He closes the curtain and moves to the very last one instead.
You pick up his shirt and ball it up to toss it on the bench in front of the shower stall he chose. Your eyes roam the room again, seeing the coast was clear as Taehyung fidgets with the water temperature. He peeks back out to slip out of his sweats and boxers, wiggling his eyebrows as he kicks them to lay beneath the same bench his shirt was on. Your mind was made up, your hands lifting your shirt up and off of you, sliding down the comfy lounging shorts you have on and Taehyung groans when he notices you don’t have any underwear on.
“You knew this was gonna happen didn’t you?”
You kick your clothing over to join his, “Wishful thinking?” You respond with a smirk, squealing loudly when his arm wraps around your waist to drag you into the awaiting stall.
“Wash that off first!” You warn him, pushing his face away from yours. He sighs and crouches down, tilting his head back so you can help him rinse the toner out of his hair. When he’s all clean you pat his cheek, letting him stand up properly and tower over you. He’s giving you that half smirk, his body backing you up against the shower wall, his back successfully blocking the stream of the shower from you because he knows you’re really not trying to get your hair wet.
“You know, you look kinda hot with silver hair.” His eyebrows raise up at your statement, his head tilting slightly, “Kinda like-” You gasp when his fingers make contact with your waist, starting to trail them down, that teasing smirk still on his face as he waits for you to finish your sentence, “like a real life anime character.”
He hums, “Oh? Does that turn you on?”
You just nod, your teeth chewing on your bottom lip as you stared up at him. When his fingers pass your hips and dip down to part your lips his mouth opens up in fake shock, “Messy baby, you weren’t lying. You’re so wet already.”
The groan you let out hardly gets muffled by the noise of the shower but thats the last of your worries right now, your mind too focused on the feeling of his fingers gathering up your arousal, trailing up and down your slit teasingly, “I can’t help it, it’s been too long.” And he knows this, stepping even closer to lock your lips in a heated kiss, it’s been way too long.
He starts to circle his fingers around your entrance but you shake your head, your lips pulling back from his with a small gasp, “No, just fuck me please.” He rests his forehead against yours, his cock throbbing at how desperate your voice sounds. Something about how eager and hungry you always were for sex fueled him, always kept him wanting more.
“Whatever you want baby.” He plants a small kiss on your forehead as he places his hands on your waist, twirling you around and pressing your chest against the cold tile. Then theres a loud wet smack echoing from his palm connecting against your ass, another squeal being heard as a giggly but hushed sound of his name leaves your lips.
And as Jungkook stands at the sink, washing his hands after using the bathroom, he feels his heart stop. He had walked in a minute or so ago, hearing the sounds of a couple talking with the shower running and he knew they were gonna fuck because thats honestly a common occurrence but he didn’t know it was you.
The tap keeps running, his hands still stuck under it as his neck cranes to look to the far left where the shower section was. He sees the ball of clothes you two must have kicked off to the side. The white shower curtain being short enough to see the two pairs of feet in the shower and the position they were currently in made it glaringly obvious that Taehyung was pounding into you from behind and as if he needed more confirmation, you just moaned out for him to fuck you harder.
It was when another loud smack echoed out, mixed in with a grunt from Taehyung that he decided he needed to get the fuck out of there. So he did, not bothering to wipe his hands dry as he scurried away, his cheeks burning up and a mysterious feeling in his chest that he could feel spreading to the rest of his body. He never let you guys know what he had witnessed, not even when you both walked back into the room with your clothes clinging on to your still damp body.
The next time you see Jungkook is a few days later as you’re about to enter the cafe. You don’t speak to him because you spot him a few feet away, walking out of the arts building and in the direction of the schools cafeteria. It takes you a moment to even realize it’s him because his hair is no longer black and you have an inkling that Taehyung is the one that helped him with this.
You decide you’ll find him after you get your coffee and enter the shop. Instantly you spot Jisoo stood behind the cash register and she looks flustered when you make eye contact. Regardless you walk up to her and order a caramel macchiato, adding an americano to the mix since you plan on seeing Jungkook right after this anyways.
Jisoo raises her eyebrows when you order the americano, no doubt knowing its for Jungkook since thats always been his drink of choice here. “Thank you by the way.” She speaks up after you finish telling her your order.
Her comment catches you off guard, “Thank you for what?”
She scribbles on the cups before handing them off to her coworker to get started on. The cafe doesn’t currently have anyone else waiting to order so she stays at the register to chat. “For helping Jungkook with our date.”
You’re about to play stupid but she raised her hand to stop you, “Look, I know you’re the one who suggested both dates to him so thanks.” You’re stunned to silence, not really sure how you should respond but she keeps talking, “It’s just a shame isn’t it?”
“What is?” Your arms are now crossed defensively across your chest.
“That all boys want to do is get in your pants, no one likes romance anymore. I thought Jungkook was nice, goes to show all men are pigs.”
You don’t know why that irritates you as much as it does but you can’t stop yourself from snapping at her, “I’m sorry what exactly did Jungkook do to you that was so horrible?” That wasn’t the reaction she was hoping for, her eyes widening slightly at the sharp tone in your voice, “Because from what I know he took you on two very nice dates and you were the one that cornered him in your hallway, beyond ready to get into his pants without even speaking to him. Sounds like you’re the pig here Jisoo.”
Her face blanks, obviously not thinking you knew the details of the date. She was expecting to be able to spill whatever fake warning she had been telling all of her friends to stay away from Jungkook. “If he was truly as horrible as you’re making everyone believe he is he would’ve slept with you and left the second he got what he wanted.” At that moment her coworker came up with both drinks in hand and a grimace on his face at the interaction he had witnessed. You gripped them both and thanked him before walking out of there as fast as you could so you wouldn’t do something irrational.
Your face felt red, not from embarrassment but from holding in your anger. Jungkook didn’t deserve to have someone talk about him like this, he wasn’t a pig, he was the furthest from that. He was a very sweet gentleman who went out of his way to be as polite as he could. Jungkook was very much boyfriend material and it wasn’t fair that Jisoo could bad mouth him all she wanted because she was salty about being rejected.
You were marching down your campus, some of your drink was sloshing out of the opening in the lid, splashing onto your hand and burning the fuck out of it but it wasn’t processing in your mind as you entered the cafeteria and hoped Jungkook was still here.
You pause at the entryway to scan the room, it was full at this hour since most students came here after their 6pm class to catch a bite for dinner. Eyes roaming over each table you spot the new half blonde and half red hair that belongs to Jungkook, he’s sat next to two other boys all of them laughing and goofing off with their trays in front of them. And now you’re unsure if you should approach him, his back is towards you but one of his friends glances up and makes eye contact, offering you a weird smile. Jungkook notices and cranes around to see what the hell his friend is staring at, noticing you standing awkwardly with your two cups of coffee. You expect him to just give you a half assed greeting before he turns around but his smile gets bigger and he’s waving you over.
You shyly smile and make your way over, slipping between the occupied tables to sit in the spot beside Jungkook. “I uh, I saw you coming this way so I got you a coffee since you know.” You motion with your hands and he understands, he hadn’t had his favorite coffee in weeks because he had been avoiding the cafe like the plague.
“Thank you.” He accepts the cup and takes a gulp, exaggerating a moan to show how much he missed it. That makes his friends and you laugh as you mumble out a no problem, your hands cupping your own drink. At the thought of coffee he pauses, grabbing his bag and sorting through it to pull out the mug he promised you.
You gasp when he hands it over, its a slightly bumpy jumbo mug that he had glazed in black, the inside of the cup being glazed white with a small bat being put on the bottom. You flipped it over to analyze it some more, your thumb grazing over the engraving of his initials he put underneath it, “Oh my god, its perfect!”
Jungkooks friends see the way his ears redden the second he handed you the gift and they want to tease him but theyre scared of the beating they’ll get when you’re gone.
“It’s big enough for two cups.” It definitely is, it was deep and pretty wide. You would be putting it to use tomorrow when you needed a morning cup at work. Jungkook watches the way you stare at the mug like its your newest prized possession and he smiles, picking up his cup of coffee again to take a sip.
“Jisoos a bitch by the way.” You blurt out before you can help yourself and the entire table stays silent, your eyes wide in shock that you even said anything at all.
He holds the coffee cup by his lips, his eyebrows furrowed and the cutest pout on his lips, “What do you mean?”
You push your cup a little bit away from you, tugging your sweaters sleeves over your palms, “I mean she’s a bitch.” Point blank period. “When I ordered these she tried to take that opportunity to talk shit about you to me, called you a pig or something.” You fake disinterest, “So I went off on her.”
His friends holler at that, no doubt knowing what happened between him and Jisoo, one of them offers you a high five which you awkwardly accept. Jungkook just stares at you, in disbelief that Jisoo was trying to make him look bad to you of all people, but he was even more surprised that you had been so quick to defend him.
“You didn’t have to do that, but…I appreciate it.” You shrug, a small smile on your face which he reciprocates.
“Oh,” he puts the coffee down again and gestures towards his friends, “by the way, Y/N this is Mingyu and Eunwoo.” They greet you respectfully, Mingyu whispering something into Eunwoo’s ear before he nods and they both start snickering and then Jungkooks swiftly kicking one of their shins under the table, causing the cheap thing to shake.
You jump at the action and Jungkook glares at his friends before looking at you, “Sorry, weird spasm. Are you hungry?” He quickly changes the subject, desperately trying to get you away from his friends before they say some shit to embarrass him in front of you because he knows they will. They had been the ones subjected to the endless texts in the group chat where Jungkook went on mini rants that switched from trying to convince himself and his group that he did not have a crush on you to asking them for advice on how to best approach you.
At his question you realize you are in fact hungry so you get up with him and follow him to the food options, his now empty tray in hand, you grab a tray from the stack in the corner as you see what catches your eye. Jungkook reaches for the mozzarella sticks, plopping a good handful onto a plate and setting it on his tray with a smile. You copy his actions and grab another plate, putting a regular cheeseburger on it along with some fries. Since Jungkook had already had a burger before you got here he settles for a few chicken wings instead, grabbing a drink for himself and another for you when you motion that you want the same one.
“I like the hair by the way.” You finally speak when you’re both swiping your student cards.
He picks one hand up to ruffle his freshly dyed hair, the red and blonde strands falling slightly over his eyes, “Thanks, it’s for Halloween. I was just gonna spray paint it but Tae convinced me to dye it.”
Just as you figured, “Who are you going as, Todoroki?”
He nods quickly, his face showing his obvious excitement, “Yes! Thats exactly who I’m supposed to be. Have you thought of your costume yet?”
With both trays in hand you start the walk back to the table, “Yeah not as nerdy as yours and Tae’s but close enough.” You tease him, not aware of the stares Jungkooks friends were currently giving you two, “I’m dressing up as Raven from Teen Titans.”
He gulps at that, Raven’s costume wasn’t down right in your face sexy but something about you being in a tight black leotard with your legs bare and a cape covering you up has Jungkook’s weeb ass sweating.
And he didn’t have to wait long to see it since Halloween landed on the upcoming Saturday. All of you were gathered at Jimin’s apartment, all in full nerd gear with shot glasses in hand. The party was being held at one of his friends places which meant expensive booze and a nice house, a drastic change from the dirty parties at the delta fucking whatevers so needless to say you guys were all pumped.
It was currently 10:30 at night and you were about to order a few ubers to head over, your body was buzzing from the two shots you’ve taken, enough to loosen you up.
Jimin is currently dressed in full Joker attire, the new version, his blonde hair is temporarily dyed green with paste, slicked back off of his face and it kills you that hes able to rock any look. “You’re the bane of my existence.”
He has his hand wrapped around you with a smile, raising his eyebrows and making the painted red ones lift up too, “It’s not my fault I was blessed with beautiful genes.” You just roll your eyes, declining the third shot he hands you and he just shrugs and takes it instead, keeping his arm around you as he grimaces and slams the shot glass down on the counter in front of you two.
Jungkook is sat on the couch in the living room beside Yoongi who’s dressed liked Naruto and you finally realize what a giant bunch of losers you and your friends are. Namjoon is stood over by the record player that has music filling up the room, dressed up as Gudetama in a comfortable looking onesie, beside him is Jin and his girlfriend Arang who are dressed in matching pumpkin costumes looking adorable as ever. Hoseok is stood next to Taehyung by the liquor bottle a few feet away from you and Jimin, dressed like an inmate, a pair of handcuffs wrapped around one single wrist for show.
Your eyes move back to Jungkook, he’s decked out in full Todoroki gear, a blue tracksuit on with the white accents and belt, even similar boots and the damn burn on his face to finish it off. The way hes sat on the couch with his legs spread out is like an open invitation to be sat on, you always forget how buff Jungkook is but seeing his thick muscles pulling the fabric taut around his thighs is making your mouth water.
“I knew it.” Jimin whispers in your ear when he catches you staring at the younger boy.
“What are you talking about?”
“You are into him, Yoongi mentioned it to me and I noticed it a while back but I didn’t believe it.”
You trust Jimin, he’s undoubtedly your best friend but you’re not ready to admit to feelings you aren’t even sure you fully have yet so you shrug indifferently, “Honestly, I’m just admiring his juicy ass thighs.”
He peers over and stares at them as well, humming in appreciation, “Well you’re not wrong.”
Taehyung pours himself another shot, letting it overflow a bit as he watches you and Jimin staring at Jungkook. He has his Kaneki face mask partially tugged down to not interfere with his ability to get hammered so the weird grimace he sports is visible for anyone to see. He got it, Jungkook was attractive and muscular and Taehyung had offered to help dye his hair for his costume in hopes that it would land him a chick tonight so he’d back off of you but his plan seems to be backfiring on him.
Taehyung hates that he feels the jealousy blooming in him when he sees you walk over to Jungkook, offering him a shot with a grin, sitting down beside him and laughing at the way he crinkles his nose. He swears he doesn’t feel jealous because he likes you deeper than the current arrangement you both have, its just that stupid territorial mindset he never fully grew out of taking over. He was currently still sober enough which is why he was trying so hard to squish it down, thats all it was.
He knows if you turned around and decided to stop sleeping with him and moved on to Jungkook for that or even a relationship he wouldn’t fight you on it because you could do whatever you wanted but he was hoping what you two had would have lasted longer than a few months and you wouldn’t be setting your sights on his roommate of all people or at least had the decency to tell him. Its not until Hoseok swats his arm, giving him a weird glare, that he snaps him out of blatantly staring at you and Jungkook.
When the ubers finally come you all split up to make yourselves fit into them, Taehyung lucking out and getting stuck in the uber you, Jungkook, and Jimin were in, leaving you sandwiched between him and Jungkook in the back row while Jimin occupied the passengers seat. Taehyung is tense in his seat and you can feel it, his hands clenched and resting on his lap as he stares out the window, counting down the seconds until you all pull up in front of the giant house party.
“It’s my friend Taemin’s house, he’s honestly probably hammered already.” Jimin says once your whole group is gathered on the front lawn. He takes the lead and walks up the path laid out, opening the door to enter the booming house, loud house music being blasted from the giant speakers in the corners.
“Holy shit.” Namjoon speaks out, his eyes taking in how enormous the house was. The ceilings were stupid high, an expensive looking chandelier being the main focus in the current room but it was clear the home owner didn’t pay it much attention considering the shiny diamonds were currently covered in those fake cobwebs.
“How many people are even here?” Arang speaks up as you all make your way deeper into the house. The place is swarming with people, all in their own costumes and you don’t believe that Taemin even knows everyone here.
“Probably a few hundred people, a thousand if he’s fucking insane.” Jimin laughs, his hand coming up to point across the room as he finally spots Taemin in the second living room area he had. He was sat on the couch, looking pretty drunk but the second he spotted Jimin he sprung up and met him halfway in a clumsy hug.
“Thanks for coming out you guys.” He speaks up like he actually knows who you all are even though you’re all strangers, “Feel free to drink whatever you want, theres no rules just please don’t break my shit. Theres also a costume contest happening at midnight with some cash prizes.” When he finishes his little host speech he bows dramatically before someone else calls out for him and he’s gone.
You and your friends don’t need to be told twice, instantly gravitating towards the drinks to get as drunk as everyone else seemed to already be. The array of pricey liquor has you wanting to cry, you absolutely loved the rich for this reason only. The one thing you’re all good at is getting absolutely sauced so it doesn’t take long for you guys to catch up.
Little by little everyone slowly splitting up when the night progresses, there was too much going on in all the different areas of the house, along with who knows what happening in the backyard but you’re pretty sure theres a pool out there, something you would definitely be avoiding because it was freezing.
Hoseok and you end up together as you usually do, being designated party buddies. You’re stood at the back of a room thats currently having a very drunk karaoke concert going on, a very dramatic rendition of Dont Stop Believing being the song of choice and you’re both clapping your hands anc cheering along when the six foot tall Ash Ketchum goes out of his way to make his own adlibs.
You tell Hoseok you’ll be right back as you venture back out of the room to go grab another mixed drink. On your way there you spot Jungkook sat on the couch beside Namjoon, a very pretty girl stood beside him, trying her best to get his attention but he’s either not interested or completely oblivious to her advances because he brushes her off and starts a conversation with Namjoon instead. You’re pouring your drink into your cup when the girl walks away from him with a roll of her eyes, saying something to her waiting group of friends before they all make their way outside.
Just as you’re about to go over to him Taehyung pops up on your left, slinging his arm over you in the sloppy way that lets you know he’s been throwing back way more shots than you have. “Can I ask you something?” He slurs into your ear, choosing to stand in front of you, putting you between him and the counter behind you.
“Sure.” You say as you take a sip of your strong drink, your eyes looking up at him and seeing them glazed over, a hint of uncertainty in them.
He looks down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at you, the three tequila shots he just took minutes ago doing nothing to stop him from squishing down his emotions now, “Are you fucking Jungkook?”
You quickly swallow the liquid in your mouth so you don’t spit it out, your face showing how absurd you think his question is, “What? No?”
Taehyung narrows his eyes at you, not entirely believing you because of how you two have been acting recently, he sees the way Jungkook acts whenever you text him and he knew you two had started to hang out more on your own. And he would’ve thought it was a normal hang out until Jimin had uploaded a video of the bonfire and he had seen you two making cutesy eyes at each other as you fed him a s’more.
You can see the gears turning in his head but you speak up again before he has a chance to say some stupid shit, “How drunk are you?”
“Drunk enough!” He shouts back and thats confirmation enough for you to know that whatever conversation he thinks he wants to have right now will have to wait.
“Okay you weirdo, get a grip please and back off.” His current attitude was getting on your nerves only because it’s something you’re not used to dealing with when it came to him. Even though you’re half kidding at your statement there’s still some truth to it and he hears it loud and clear, stepping back like a toddler and giving you some space. He mumbles something out about going to find Jimin but you don’t pay it any mind, just nodding along as you drink more of your concoction and go back to join Hoseok in the karaoke room again.
Another hour passes, a few minutes shy of midnight so you know the costume contest will be taking place soon. You and Hoseok have drifted away from each other, him deciding to go join the dance floor at the front of the house where as you find yourself watching an intense game of guitar hero being played. The giant flat screen lets any onlooker clearly see the battle happening and you don’t notice Jungkook beside you until he’s nudging you with his hip, a goofy smile on his face when you stumble over slightly.
“You really suit this character.” He’s standing there with his arms crossed and for one of the first times since you’ve known him he has this very confident aura coming from him. Maybe it’s because he’s had too much to drink to care or maybe it’s because he feels like he’s in his element in this dorky costume but confidence looks good on him.
“Should I just live my entire life as Todoroki then?”
His eyes are glassy from the alcohol and his cheeks are pink but he can tell you’ve had a bit more to drink than him, your tongue becoming too loose to hold anything back, “I definitely wouldn’t mind it.” When he notices your eyes raking up his body and back down, stopping at his thighs once more before looking at his eyes again, he just blushes and chooses to uncross his arms to take a sip of his drink.
He’s been noticing your constant eyeing of his thighs, having caught you staring at them at Jimin’s place earlier tonight, and now that you were drunk you were doing a worse job at trying to play it off. “Has anyone ever told you that your thighs are beautiful?” You finally address it.
Jungkook raises both of his eyebrows, looking down at himself, shifting his weight between both legs and stretching one out. “Can’t say they have.”
“Just wanna bite em…” You mumble under your breath and he chuckles, catching your words but not speaking on it. The shots are definitely seeping further into your blood because your hands are coming up and out, grabbing the meaty skin of his right thigh and he’s yelping from the shock, jumping slightly before balancing out so his drink wouldn’t spill.
You’re grinning sweetly as you give his thigh another quick squeeze and retreat back. You only hum in thought, your mind wondering what they look like under the pants he’s currently wearing. Jungkook is still too caught off guard, any words he wants to say getting stuck in his throat as he observes the room to see if anyone saw that.
The reality of what you just did slowly sinks in and he catches the switch, your eyes sharpening up and you take a very small step back, “Are none of these girls good enough for you?”
“What?”
You nervously swallow more of your drink which probably isn’t wise because look at what you had already done with the alcohol already in your system, “I promised you I’d get you laid by the end of this month and i’ve seen like four girls come up to you and you blew them off.”
That was true, he had done that all night but it had been such an automatic response that he wasn’t sure why he had, something about sleeping with a complete stranger in another strangers home felt wrong. That and the fact that he wanted to sleep with you was also getting in the way, but his inner self currently had that thought in a headlock, a very loose and slowly weakening headlock but a headlock nonetheless, so he was ignoring it.
“They didn’t even know who I’m supposed to be.” He lies as an excuse and it makes you laugh, tipping your cup up and pouring the rest of its contents down your throat.
“Is that you’re only reason?”
He nods stubbornly, sticking with his horrible excuse until it turns around and bites him in the ass. “Well I know who you’re supposed to be, so what does that mean?”
He blanks at that, really not expecting the turn this would take. You watch him, his big doe eyes only getting bigger at your words. He rolls his lips together in thought, his mind sorting through all the appropriate responses he could say. During his distraction he doesn’t notice his inner self releasing the headlock grip he had on his feelings until it’s too late and they’re spilling out into the open.
“It means I wanna fuck you.”
Yeah. That wasn’t what he wanted to say, at all, but his filter had clearly been lost a few shots back and when you don’t immediately slap him he doesn’t think he fucked up entirely.
“You wanna fuck me?” You repeat slowly, stepping closer to him. You had a feeling he did based on that drunk text he had sent you but you had to make sure he really wanted to and this wasn’t just a nervous response. Jimin and Yoongi were right in their observations of both of you, you wanted to sleep with him, you have ever since that night in your room and the realistic dreams involving him haven’t stopped so maybe once you sleep with him everything will mellow out in your brain.
This isn’t a crush, you try to convince yourself, this is just your hormones talking. It’s not your fault that imaginary Jungkook would moan such sweet praises in your ear while you dreamed, thats why you were stuck wearing i’m horny for jungkook glasses, and once you slept with each other all would be fine.
His eyes look around, he could see Tae and Jimin stood near the kitchen, Tae doubling over in laughter at something being said and when you see who he’s looking up it only annoys you. Taehyung didn’t have this claim on you and you knew Jungkook was just worried because he didn’t fully believe no feelings were involved between you and Tae but you were sick of people thinking you belonged to him.
You raise your hand up to cup his cheek, bringing his attention back to you, “I asked you a question Jungkook.”
He looks back over to you, seeing your own eyes staring up at him and he finds himself nodding his head. Sure you both aren’t sober at all and will he be embarrassed about this once he is, probably, but he knows he’ll regret not being completely honest tomorrow morning if he says no.
At his confirmation you smile, you had spotted the staircase nearby, knowing there would be rooms you two could occupy but when you start to tug him in the direction of it he resists.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know, I just don’t feel right using someone’s room to do this.” Jungkook wasn’t a virgin so you knew he wasn’t wanting this to be a certain way for his first time but he’d only ever been intimate with one person and it hadn’t gone the way he wanted at all so if he didn’t feel comfortable sleeping with you in this house it was fine by you.
“Do you want to go back to mine then?” The urgency that usually came with party hook ups was missing, you didn’t feel rushed to get in a room and tear his clothes off without speaking to each other, he wasn’t just a hook up.
When he nods his head you don’t think twice to pull him in the direction towards the front door, a loud tapping noise stopping you both in your tracks. Everyone stops talking, turning towards the source of the noise and seeing Taemin stood on top of his coffee table with a microphone in hand, his finger tapping the top of it to check it.
“Okay, fuck it works dude!” Jimin shouted out, everyones hands coming up to cover their ears when Taemin just laughs loudly into the mic.
It was time for the costume contest and as much as you wouldn’t mind seeing who won or even potentially winning the cash prize yourself, the thought of finally getting to sleep with Jungkook wins. You look back at him, your eyes asking him if he wants to wait but he shakes his head, his fingers giving your palm another squeeze. You choose not to notify your friends that you were leaving, they were all drunk enough and were already planning on sleeping at Jimin’s after this anyways so you had a few hours before they even noticed you had both disappeared.
Jungkook feels oddly calm, the nerves that had overtaken him when he was in this position the very first time not coming up, even the small sense of uncertainty he felt when it came to Jisoo was gone and he likes it. He likes the feel of your hand in his as you wait for the uber. He likes how you rest your clasped hands on your thigh, your thumb rubbing the back of his palm soothingly and when you finally manage to sneak into your building he likes the way you push him against the elevator wall, your lips slotting between his in the first sign of urgency.
When you lick your way into his mouth he tastes the strong tang of tequila that he’s sure you can taste from him as well but he doesn’t mind it. His hands coming up to wrap around your waist, the thin material of your leotard letting you feel his touch as his fingers dig into your waist to pull you closer to him. You’re on your tip toes and he’s leaning over to match your height, the sound of the elevator ding making you both pull apart with heavy sighs.
You twirl back around, your head peaking out of the elevator to make sure the coast was clear since you technically weren’t allowed to have Jungkook over at this time. Once you saw the hallway was clear you wrapped your hand over his wrist, tugging him to your door in a haste to get out of the open. You make it a few feet when the sound of the bathroom door opening makes you both freeze, Jungkook has his eyes screwed shut as he waits for someone to start to scold you both. You’re waiting for it too, especially when you turn around and spot Jihyo, your RA, standing in the middle of the hallway right in front of the bathroom door.
She’s currently rubbing her eyes, tipsy and in a revealing Sailor Mars costume. When she spots you and Jungkook looking just as tipsy and your lips swollen she just sighs, throwing her head back dramatically, “Go, hurry up and get in your room. I didn’t see anything.” You throw her a thankful look and she just shields her eyes as she makes her way back into her room, you don’t waste anymore time as you slide your key card out of your bra and unlock your room.
“Wait, your roommate.” Jungkook whispers, just now realizing that she existed. He’s stood right on the door’s threshold, refusing to come in until you literally force him, your hand tugging him in. His hands grasp your shoulders to not knock you over from the force of your pull, he finally gets a chance to look around when you flick your light on and he notices Wendy is no where to be found.
“She’s went out of town for Halloween, we’re fine, now please kiss me.” The door shuts behind Jungkook, that answer satisfies him, his hands moving off your shoulders to cup your face and bring you in for another kiss. Your mind feels like its floating as he starts to walk, leading you backwards towards your bed.
Your hands slide up his chest as you make your way to your bed, your fingers clasping the zipper of his costume and tugging it down, revealing his bare skin. He had decided not to wear anything underneath his tracksuit, he always got hot and sweaty when he was drunk so he didn’t want to add more layers than necessary, and luckily it worked in his favor.
Your fingertips leave a hot trail on his skin as you work on getting this article of clothing off of him, his hands coming away from your face as you push the sleeves down his arms, the material falling onto the floor in a heap. His lips never part from yours, his actions getting more confident, his kisses getting more urgent because he can’t seem to get enough of you.
His hands trail up to unclasp the cape around your shoulders, letting the crushed velvet garment join his top on the floor, and then its a race of getting the rest of your clothing off. You pull back from him your lips smacking together one final time when you step back, your eyes finally getting to see him shirtless for the first time.
Is he for real? Was he sculpted by the fucking gods themselves because this wasn’t fair. You always knew Jungkook worked out like a madman but you never expected him to look like this. His chest was heaving as he tried to catch his breath, the muscles in his arms rippling as he fidgeted with the stupid belt he had on and when he finally got it off and was able to slide out of his boots and pants your wishes were granted in the form of his thighs.
You had forgotten about sliding out of your leotard and belt, your boots were kicked off to the side but when his thick thighs were exposed you dropped to the floor in front of him. Jungkook wasn’t expecting that, part of him thought you might of passed out or something from how suddenly you collapsed but when your hand come up to trail his thighs he knows you’re fine.
“Are you joking?” You mumble out, your mind acting on it’s own accord, you press open mouth kisses on his thighs, your fingers giving them small squeeze as you kiss your way up to the band of his briefs.
Jungkook had fantasized about this so many times put now that you were sitting right in front of him on your knees, your mouth kissing his dick over the fabric of his briefs, he wasn’t sure he could stop himself from blowing his load the second you put it in your mouth.
“Have you ever had a blowjob Kookie?” The nickname is new but he likes it, especially when he sees how you look at him when you say it, your eyes widening slightly when he shakes his head. No he’s never had a blowjob and as much as he wants to experience his first one from you he won’t ever let himself live it down if he cums before he gets a chance to fuck you.
“Can I be honest?” He mumbles out as your fingers slip underneath the band of his briefs, beginning to tug it down slowly, his legs stepping out of the material as it bunches around his ankles.
His cock springs out without the restraint of his briefs and your mouth salivates at the sight of it. Of course Jeon Jungkook would have a beautiful big dick, its veiny with a slight upward curve, the girth of it making you bite your lip in anticipation of it stretching you open. Your eyes move back up to him and you smile gently, “Yeah of course.”
He moves his own hands to cover your smaller ones, his fingers wrapping around your fingertips to lift them off his skin. “Can we…do that next time,” it slips out before he can catch it, indication of this happening again and you take note of it, the lust clouding your mind not being against that happening, “I just really wanna fuck you.” He confesses, his body bending over, his arms hooking under your arms to scoop you up from the floor with ease.
“Yeah,” you breathe out as he stands you up, his hands cupping your cheeks with care, his thumb tracing your skin as he stares down at you, “we can do that next time.”
You reach out and let your hands touch his waist, the feel of his bare skin making you realize he’s the only one naked right now. You turn him around so his back is facing your bed, your hands gently pushing him back onto it.
He catches himself with his palms, sliding back onto your bed until he’s laying against the pillows you have set up. He watches as you reach back to unclasp the ruby belt you have, letting it fall with a clank as you move on to unbutton the top of your leotard, slipping the skin tight fabric off of your body.
Jungkook can feel his dick twitch against his abs at the sight of you, you crawl onto the bed, your fingers trailing up his thighs as you straddle him in a similar way that brings back memories of a few weeks ago. The feeling of you sat on top of him with no barrier is something he never thought he’d experience and when he feels the slick glide of you grinding down on his cock his stomach caves in, a groan leaving his lips. His fingers come up to grip your hips, your own hands wrapping around his neck as you smile down on him.
“Feel good?” You ask him, a tiny gasp escaping you when you repeat your actions and his cock nudges your clit.
His eyes move down to stare at the spot where you connect, seeing how shiny you’re leaving him as your arousal mixes with his precum makes his mouth drop open in awe. “Yeah, feels good.” He whispers out, his hands gripping your skin tighter to make you rut on him faster.
You can see the desperation growing on him, the shy Jungkook you were so accustomed to nowhere to be found as he rolled his hips up to meet your motions, his head dropping back into the pillows with a moan. With his neck wide open you lean forward, kissing and licking your way up to his jaw, your teeth gently nipping at his skin, making his hips stutter.
Blame mistake number one on you wanting to see Jungkook fully fall apart underneath you but you’re not thinking too much when you reach down and grasp his cock, letting the tip of it nudge your entrance. You know you’re clean and on birth control and unless he’s been lying to you, you assume he should be clean as well.
His head snaps up at the new sensation, and Jungkook may be inexperienced but he’s not stupid, “Wait–“ You think he’s stopping you because you haven’t pulled out a condom so you pause, giving him a curious look but his mind is too full of want that he doesn’t even process the fact that there isn’t a condom “it’s gonna hurt you.” He wants to finger you, stretch you open and let his fingers explore your body until you falling apart.
“It’s okay, I like that.” You admit, giggling when you see his cheeks flush. You go back to nudging the tip of him into you, the feeling of it breaching your entrance has you moaning and Jungkook drops one hand off your hip to clutch your comforter instead, his fingers clenching around the fabric as your walls wrap around the tip of him.
“Fuck,” you groan out, he was big but the feeling of him stretching you out had another gush of arousal slip out of you, only aiding in letting you slide down another inch or so. Your hands come forward to rest on his stomach as you wait a moment, Jungkook can feel you clenching around the first few inches of him, his eyebrows furrowed together tightly at the feeling of your warmth enveloping him all around.
You relax your muscles, letting the rest of him slide into you, the tip of him just shy of nudging your cervix when you’re fully sat on him. You give him a moment to adjust, waiting until his eyes open up again, “Please move.” He croaks out, his hand coming back up to your hips to get you to do anything because the feeling of you just clenching around him was killing him.
His desperation turns you on and you start to move instantly, grinding on him to let yourself get used to the size of him before you start to lift yourself up, slamming back down, the slap of your skin connecting filling up the dorm room.
As you stare down at him you have to pinch yourself because the visual of him whimpering underneath you is an exact replica of the dreams you’ve been having. A needy Jungkook kneading the flesh of your hips, rutting his own hips up to meet you, his big eyes blown out with lust and adoration in the same damn way you’ve been dreaming about and you know you’re done for.
Jungkook can say the same, the countless times he’s dreamt of you doing this to him has him thinking he’s stuck in a dream, ready to wake up to his roommate tossing a pillow at him but it never comes because you’re actually here. You’re here on top of him, riding him like it’s something you’ve always wanted. His hand trails up from your hip to grasp your bouncing boob, giving it an experimental squeeze, his thumb and index finger tweaking your nipple and enjoying the way you moan from it.
He can feel your arousal dripping down his length every time you lift up, the remnants of it pooling around the base of his cock, he can see it as his eyes are glued to the way your lips part to take his length in. He can feel you start to get tired from the constant motion, your movements slowing down slightly so he takes it upon himself to wrap his arms around you and bring you closer to his chest, successfully flipping you over underneath him.
Your hair fans out around you and you stare up at him in shock, never thinking he’d do something like that but it only lasts a minute before hes sliding back into you. His hands are by your face, caging your body underneath his as he pounds into you.
His jaw is clenched tightly when he feels you wrap your arms around his shoulders, your fingers trying to cling onto his back from the force of his thrusts. “Do you want it harder?” He grunts out, looking down at you to see you nodding frantically, your legs wrapping around his waist to push him deeper into you.
“Please ple–“ you gasp when he slides out before rearing back into you, starting a brutal pace that you didn’t think he was capable of. “Just like that. God Jungkook.” You cry out and he feels his chest fill with pride. You were moaning out his name, he was the one making you feel this way.
You can feel him graze your bundle of nerves every time he thrusts forward, a high pitched moan leaving you and he does another experimental thrust to find the exact spot, angling his hips until you’re gasping and then he’s grinding right into it every time. Determined to get you to cum before him he keeps it up, he can feel his climax creeping in on him, you’re squeezing him so tight its almost impossible to thrust into you but he can tell you’re close when your hand comes down to rub your clit and he almost cums from that sight alone.
Seeing you squirming underneath him as your fingers worked to push yourself over the edge just made him thrust harder into you, a deep groan leaving his mouth when you gasped out, your walls clamping around him even tighter than before as you threw your head back. You had enough sense to clasp a hand over your mouth before you moaned out at as your body twitched from your orgasm, the feeling of Jungkook continuing to pound into you only making more muffled whimpers leave you from the overstimulation.
“Fuck you feel so good.” He mumbles out, his head dropping forward to rest between your neck and shoulder as he starts to rut faster into you. Your toes are curling from the after shocks of your climax, the tingles all over your body being the cause of mistake number two, “Cum inside me Jungkook, please.”
His face lifts back up at your statement, checking to make sure you mean it and when you nod and press your lips against his for another heated kiss he doesn’t hold back. His hips rolling into yours with new found energy, your body being jostled up at his action but you don’t care when all you taste is him, your kisses swallowing the desperate whine that leave him as he nears his end. His thrusts get sloppier until he’s groaning out deeply, his hips stuttering as his cock paints your walls white. You moan again at the feeling of his warm cum inside of you, letting him roll his hips a few more times as you kiss him gently to bring him back down.
His arms fail him, his body flopping on top of you in a heap, his muscles absolutely crushing you but the way he wraps your arms underneath your waist and nuzzles into you makes you forget about your inability to breath. His face is pressed against your neck under your chin, his soft dick is still inside you and he really doesn’t want to pull it out, he’d be perfectly content with going to sleep and waking up in this position.
You keep your legs wrapped around his waist, your fingers gently playing with his damp hair, “I miss your black hair.” You mumble out, breaking the silence that fell over the room.
He hums against your neck, kissing your skin gently in content when you scratch his scalp, “I’ll dye it back for you.”
You don’t know why that statement makes your heart swell but it does, your lips coming down to kiss his hair before laying back down. The both of you catch your breaths like this, Jungkook having his cheek pressed against your skin and you gently massaging his head.
He can feel the sweat on your skin start to get sticky so he decides nows a good time to pull apart, his skin peeling off of you and you’re both grimacing when he finally slides out of you, a small gush of his cum dripping out of your entrance and you squeeze your thighs shut at the feeling.
Jungkook wants to sit there and stare at his cum staining your skin but he can tell you feel icky from your face so he stands up from the bed and looks around your room, spotting your towel by your desk. He picks it up and comes back to you. His fingers gently pry open your thighs as he starts to clean you up, tossing the towel aside and motioning for you to move so you can get comfy in bed.
You shuffle around until you slide your comforter down, letting him adjust himself so you both fit comfortably. The small feelings of being tipsy are gone, your muscles completely relaxed and sleep starts to overtake you as you feel him move behind you, his arm lazily draping over you as you both start to slowly fall asleep.
“You know,” he gently speaks up, “you promised me you’d get me laid by the end of October.”
You hum in acknowledgment, and he’s smirking into your hair, “It’s technically November though so.”
You giggle softly at this, turning around in his grasp to face him, your leg slipping in between his as you get closer, “Oh how could I ever make it up to you for breaking my promise.” He lets out a fake gasp as your sarcastic response, his fingers wasting no time coming up to playfully jab at your sides, succeeded in making you squirm and laugh until his lips are kissing you again, the urgency and heat from before missing but he likes this way better.
He likes the small laughs in between kisses, the shy licks of your tongue and sighs you let out and in that moment Jungkook feels content.
Jungkook doesn’t think of whats going to happen tomorrow morning when you both wake up and the initial lust is gone. He doesn’t think of the conversation that’s gonna have to happen once the sun comes up. No he lets himself enjoy this, lets you wrap your arms around his neck to pull him even closer. He’ll worry about that when it comes.
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Blueberry Peach (Adrien AUGreste) Part 2: Ice cream
Or read it on AO3: Blueberry Peach
Also find the other parts of the series AO3: Fruitful verse
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The instant she landed on her balcony, Ladybug sank down onto her lawn chair with a sigh and started rubbing at her shoulder. Though the miraculous cure took care of the damage they sustained in any akuma battles, sometimes the memory of pain was even worse. It was like her body couldn’t process that it had been healed. Phantom aches were a bitch.
“Well, that sucked,” Chat announced to no one in particular as he landed. “Plagg, claws in.”
“I’m starving! I need food!” Plagg whined as he appeared.
“Tikki and Pollen will need food too,” Ladybug said with a sigh. Before she detransformed, she’d have to go back down to the road and enter the bakery normally. Her parents had probably heard about the akuma attacking the school and they’d want to know that she was okay.
Queen Bee was the last to land, stumbling slightly as she did. Adrien automatically reached out to steady her.
“You okay?” he asked her.
“I’m fine,” Queen Bee said, gently pulling away. “Pollen, buzz off.”
A yellow flash of light up the balcony.
“Hey, Pollen!” Plagg said.
“Hi Plagg,” Pollen said, buzzing as she landed on Chloé’s palm. “You did excellently, My Queen!”
Ladybug raised an eyebrow. ‘So I guess I wasn’t wrong about Pollen wanting a queen bee, huh?’
‘Nope,’ Adrien thought, shooting her a small smile. He was deeply amused by the whole situation.
“Pollen, what do you eat?” Ladybug asked out loud.
“Much like Tikki, I enjoy sweets,” said Pollen. “I favor ice cream, if you have any.” She looked up with an adorably hopeful expression that melted Ladybug’s heart.
“I’ll see what I can do,” she said, getting up and hopping over the railing of the balcony. As soon as she hit the ground, she ducked into the alley, detransformed, and waved Tikki into her purse. Then she causally walked into the bakery – and was promptly jerked into a hug by her panicked papa.
‘Something’s wrong with Chloé,’ Adrien thought.
‘What do you mean?’ Marinette thought, trying to remember how to breathe. At least with a hug this tight, she didn’t have to focus on trying to speak telepathically to Adrien and out loud to her parents.
‘She’s just acting a bit weird, that’s all,’ he thought back.
‘She did just go through her first miraculous fight, and against a tough akuma,’ Marinette thought, before letting out a relieved squeak as her papa let go.
“I’m so glad you’re okay!” Tom exclaimed, looking her over. “I was ready to go over to the school to find you.”
“I’m sorry, Papa. Madame Bustier didn’t think it was safe for us to go, so she made us hide until it was over,” Marinette lied. “I wanted to send you and Maman a text, but we weren’t supposed to take our phones out just in case they made sounds and attracted the akuma.” She crossed her fingers behind her back as she spoke, hoping her parents never got the opportunity to ask Madame Bustier about this.
Truth be told, Marinette had no idea what happened with her classmates when an akuma showed up. Zombizou had been a special case since it was Madame Bustier herself who’d been akumatized. For the most part, by the time the teachers put any plans into place, Ladybug and Chat Noir were already out there saving the day.
“Of course,” Tom said, sighing but smiling. “Your maman is upstairs laying down. She had a headache.”
“Do you need me to help down here?” Marinette asked, hoping the answer was no.
Luckily, Tom shook his head. “We have it covered. Pop upstairs and let your maman know you’re okay.”
“Will do.” Marinette headed upstairs, though she detoured into the kitchen to grab cookies, swiss cheese, and a small dish of vanilla ice cream out of the freezer. Just as she tucked the cheese under her arm, a wave of potent concern came through the bond.
‘Uh oh,’ Adrien thought.
‘What? What’s wrong?’ Marinette thought. He’d been quiet while she was talking to Tom, mostly idly scrolling through his phone. She peeked through his eyes, half-expecting to see a message from his father or Nathalie, and realized that he was looking at his schedule for the week.
Specifically, a photography shoot for Style Queen magazine.
And then it clicked.
‘Yeah, this is why Chloé is out of sorts. Her mother must be coming home,’ Adrien thought. It was a thought accompanied by a whirl of emotions and memories that Marinette tried to sort through as she made her way back upstairs. Her chest tightened as a few scenes of Audrey dismissing her daughter out of hand, or worse intentionally insulting Chloé, flashed through her head.
‘I don’t really know much about Audrey Bourgeois,’ she thought. She certainly hadn’t known that Chloé and her mother had such a contemptuous relationship, though in retrospect it explained a lot of things about Chloé. Marinette paused, looking at the door to her parent’s bedroom. Her maman and papa were so great. It wasn’t fair that Adrien and Chloé had gotten stuck with such assholes.
‘Asshole is putting it mildly when it comes to Madame Bourgeois,’ Adrien thought tiredly, leaning forward and putting his head in his hands. ‘Chloé tries super hard to impress her mom and always ends up feeling terrible, so she lashes out at everyone.’
‘Yay,’ Marinette thought wryly, nudging the bedroom door open. A quick peek inside told her that Sabine was sleeping. Not wanting to wake her, she shut the door and just headed up to her room.
Adrien and Chloé were still out on the balcony. Marinette handed the food up to Adrien and then clambered through the window, watching as Plagg pounced on the cheese and started scarfing it down. Tikki and Pollen were considerably more polite, at least.
“So am I going to get to do this again?” Chloé asked, and Marinette glanced over at her.
“I don’t know. Maybe. Chat and I can handle most akumas ourselves,” Marinette said.
Chloé’s mouth turned down, though her expression smoothed out quickly.
‘Mari…’ Adrien thought.
Marinette sighed. Gosh, life had been a lot easier when Chloé was just an annoying brat that Marinette didn’t really care about.
“But Hawkmoth is really stepping up his game. Zombizou and Antielle were pretty bad. So yeah, we might need to call upon you in the future if you’d be willing to help,” she said.
“I guess,” Chloé said, trying hard to sound cool, but even to Marinette’s inexperienced eye it was obvious that Chloé was totally psyched by the offer.
Adrien shot her that warm smile that never failed to make Marinette’s stomach flutter. She made a face at him, knowing that he could feel how he was making her feel, and his smile widened.
“Eww. If you two are gonna make faces at each other, then someone take me home,” Chloé said.
“I will as soon as Plagg has recharged,” Adrien said, turning to look at her and then at Plagg. The cheese was mostly gone and Plagg showed zero sign of slowing down, so it wouldn’t take long.
“I could just take Pollen and save you the trip,” Chloé said slyly.
Marinette snorted. “Nice try, but no. I’m taking this back to where it belongs,” she said, palming the Bee miraculous. Now that they knew there were other miraculous, she intended to have a nice chat with Master Fu. She and Adrien needed to know what those miraculous did just in case they needed other help in the future.
“Oh fine,” Chloé said. “But if you mess up my hair by doing tricks, I’ll stab you next, Adrikins.”
Adrien just snickered. “I make zero promises.”
#miraculous ladybug#adrien agreste#marinette dupain-cheng#chloe bourgeois#adrienaugreste#pollen#plagg#tikki#tom dupain#blueberry peach
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beach house living (part 2)
part 1
here’s some more beach au. the google doc is at like. 8k words. oops. but here is just some of it bc i want to share it but i also want to finish it before i post it on ao3. anyways. tagging some mutuals bc give me attention @birlcholtz @tonytangredis @pieplease @fasterthanthemoon @unfairlawyer
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He’s back in his and Shitty’s room hanging his clothes up in his half of the closet when he hears a loud bang, followed by footsteps and a general commotion.
“Holster,” someone says, “How many times have I said quit that, you’re going to dent the wall.”
“Dex can fix it!”
“Fuck you, you can fix it yourself.”
The voices continue, along with what sounds like footsteps going up the stairs and another loud slam that Jack assumes is the front door being closed. A few minutes later after the noise dies down, someone knocks on the bedroom door, and it starts to open before he can answer.
It’s Shitty, saying, “It’s me, hope you’re not naked.” He catches sight of Jack by the closet and grins. “Nice, yeah, make yourself at home.”
Jack stares at him. “What if I had been naked?”
Shitty laughs. “Then I would close my eyes out of respect for you and your beautiful body. We’re leaving in five to go grocery shop, just a heads up.” He starts pulling clothes out of the dresser, so Jack turns back to the closet and hangs up another shirt to give him privacy.
“You ready?” Shitty says behind him. Jack hangs up another shirt before turning around. He takes a moment to take it in. Shitty is wearing cutoff jean shorts and a neon pink tank top that’s so bright it almost hurts to look at. It says, “life’s a beach.”
Jack remembers Shitty asked a question. “Yeah, let me get my wallet.”
Shitty heads for the door. “Pretty much everyone is in the den, I’ll introduce you before we leave.”
Jack grabs his wallet from the night stand and follows him into the hall. He wonders how many people actually live here and if his father even knows. Bob had said it was a four bedroom house but not much else.
In retrospect, Jack should’ve asked more questions.
Again, too late now.
Shitty announces their arrival by cupping his hands around his mouth as a megaphone and screaming, “Silence!”
The chatter dies down, and everyone in the room turns to look at them.
Jack thinks, why.
“This is our new roomie Jack Zimmermann,” Shitty says, gesturing at him.
Jack tries not to cower behind him. He doesn’t know if they follow sports, or hockey, or if they know who exactly their landlord is, but no one seems to react to his name. Small miracles.
“You met Lardo,” Shitty says, pointing. She nods at Jack.
“That’s Ransom,” he points to a tall, dark skinned guy standing by Lardo, who is sitting on the kitchen counter. Ransom smiles at him. “That’s Chowder and Bitty,” he points to an Asian kid in a sharks tank top - so at least one person in this house follows hockey, fucking hell, who gives him a little wave, and a shorter, blond, white boy with freckles and a tan, who smiles brightly.
“That tall bastard is Holster,” Shitty points to another blond white boy next to Bitty. Holster grins and nods.“And those two are Nursey and Dex,” he gestures to the brown skinned guy with a tattoo circling his bicep and a third white guy with freckles and bright orange hair.
Why does no one have a normal name, Jack thinks.
“Hi,” he says lamely. “I’m Jack.”
“Welcome, dude,” Nursey says.
“Alright,” Shitty claps. “Anyone who wants to go to the store, up and at ‘em.”
Jack has just enough time to hope it isn’t a long drive and that they won’t ask him about himself during it before five of them pile into a gold Subaru parked in the driveway. Shitty has the keys and Bitty calls shotgun, so Jack crams in the back with Ransom and Dex. He gets the middle seat, which Dex apologizes for.
“Sorry we bitch seated you,” he says with a smile. “But since Bitty got shotty, you are the shortest.”
Jack shrugs, or tries to. “It’s fine.”
Shitty backs out of the driveway while Ransom and Bitty play rock-paper-scissors for the aux cord. Bitty wins it, plugs in his phone and starts playing pop music Jack doesn’t recognize.
“Yo, Shits, guess what happened today,” Ransom says.
Up front, Bitty twists around to face the backseat and rolls his eyes. “Are you going to tell everyone this, Rans?”
“Uh, yeah. I fucking am,” Ransom scoffs. Bitty rolls his eyes again and flashes a grin in Jack’s direction.
“So this lady comes up to my chair, right. Total white suburban mom vibes, visor and, like, Ray Bans or Tiffany shades or whatever.”
“Oh boy,” Shitty says.
“Oh yes,” Ransom says. “So I’m like, okay, benefit of the doubt, maybe she has a reasonable question about riptides or our hours or sunscreen, I don’t know.”
To Jack’s right, Dex sighs.
“But no,” Ransom continues. That would be too much to hope for. Instead, this woman--Shits. Guess what this woman asks me.”
“I cannot even begin to guess.”
“She asks if it’s safe to go in the ocean even if you can’t swim.”
“Bro,” Shitty says.
“I know,” Ransom says.
“Some fucking people,” Dex says.
Bitty, still facing the backseat, rolls his eyes again. Jack snorts, which earns him a sideways glance and a grin from Ransom.
“So I’m up there, leaning down to hear her better, and she says that, and for a sec I just fucking stare at her like I’m the idiot. Processing that. Thinking about how to phrase ‘no the fuck you can’t’ nicely. And then I go, ‘No, ma’am, I’m sorry, but it’s not safe to swim unless you know how to effectively stay afloat.’ And then she says, ‘I don’t mean swimming, I just mean going in the water.’”
Jack frowns, and Dex sighs again, shaking his head.
Up front, Shitty just says, “What.”
“Right? So I ask, ‘What do you mean by ‘just going in the water?’ and she fucking gives me this look, like I’m the dumbass. And she says ‘I mean just the shallow part, where the waves crash.’ And I try my very hardest not to look up at the sky and ask the gods for help. And I say, ‘I’m very sorry ma’am, but that’s also dangerous due to the currents. Rip tides can be very strong.’ Which like, okay, she might not be taken out by a riptide, but assuming she has kids and shit and no athletic ability herself, she shouldn’t chance it if she can’t even tread water.”
“Lot of assumptions you’re making there, Ransy babe,” Shitty warns.
“I know, I know. But in terms of safety, I’m trying to play it safe, and she’s the one who told me she can’t fucking swim.”
“Hm,” Shitty says. “Acceptable. Carry on.”
“So she says, ‘But what about just the shallow part? Where the waves come up and go away?’ And yeah, okay, she’d be fine above the tide, but again, safety and liability and whatnot. I don’t want it to be on me if she pulls some shit. So I tell her again, no, it isn’t safe. And I fucking shit you not, this lady says, ‘Are you sure? Is there someone else I can speak to?’ This bitch really asked if she could speak to a manager. On the fucking beach.”
Up front, Shitty is laughing. Bitty is grinning and shaking his head. Dex snorts, and Jack finds himself smiling, because what.
“So I fucking walkie beach patrol, and we wait 10 minutes for Ollie to roll up, and he tells her the same exact fucking thing, and she frowns and gets all huffy and has the audacity to ask us if we’re sure. Like, yeah, bitch, we’re pretty fucking sure. If you’d dug around in your brain a little bit for your common sense maybe you wouldn’t be so mad about it. Jesus Christ.”
Shitty opens the front door, and Jack realizes they’ve arrived and parked.
“What’d she do after that?” Shitty asks before getting out of the car.
Ransom opens the door and climbs out, saying, “Well, apparently, she walked to the other lifeguard stand and asked them the same fucking thing.”
Jack climbs out after Ransom, finds himself saying, “You’re kidding.”
“Bro, I wish,” Ransom says. “That lifeguard, I think it was April, also had to radio beach patrol, so Ollie went over there to check it out and had to call someone else from beach patrol ‘cause this bitch still didn’t like our answer. Ollie came back and told me about it, ‘cause he’s a bro.”
“Ollie just loves to gossip,” Bitty says.
“I said what I said. Guy’s a bro.”
“I always get him confused with Wicks,” Dex says.
Bitty grabs a cart from the front of the store. The automatic doors slide open, and they get blasted with air conditioning, which is a relief to Jack. Everyone splits up pretty much immediately, so Jack just trails behind Bitty because he has the cart and Jack has nobody’s phone number if he gets lost.
Bitty notices Jack following him and flashes another smile. “Guess you’re with me! We’re doing the shopping for the next week or so. Or so we say. Someone always ends up going again during the week for snacks or butter or because they’re suddenly inspired by the food network.”
Jack nods, and Bitty steers them into the fridge aisle.
“It gets a bit chaotic just because there’s so many of us. But we have a system now, of sorts, Shitty and Lardo shop for each other, Ransom and Holster shop for each other, lord knows they know each other well enough, and Dex or Chowder shops for the other and Nursey. Nursey, bless his heart, always forgets something.”
It’s around this point that Jack notices Bitty has a southern accent. He also notices that Bitty has dumped about 10 packages of butter in the cart.
He decides not to ask.
“I shop for just me, myself, and I, but I also usually end up buying the most. Sometimes the other boys will make a store run for me though, which is nice of them, but they get some of the goods, so it balances out,” Bitty says. He’s talking really quickly. Jack has no idea what that last bit is supposed to mean.
Bitty puts two cartons of eggs in the cart. Jack’s brain processes the “I shop for me statement” and he adds another carton for himself.
“All the people that shop for each other have a texting system worked out, I believe. There are so many group chats, I can’t keep track. I know Chowder, Nursey, and Dex have one, which I think is how they cover everything grocery shopping. There’s a whiteboard on the fridge we add to, but it isn’t very consistent. Feel free to add anything you need to it, though, I always take a picture of it before we shop! Is there anything else you need in this aisle, Jack?”
“Oh, uh, no.”
Bitty pushes the cart onwards, talking as they go. Jack isn’t really following, but Bitty doesn’t seem to be expecting answers, so Jack nods and smiles and adds things to the cart and eventually, Shitty reappears with his own basket full of groceries and he and Bitty settle into a comfortable sounding banter.
Ransom and Dex find them near the checkout lanes, adding their groceries to the cart.
The seating arrangement is the same for the ride back, except Ransom gets to play the music this time. He plays different pop music that Jack still doesn’t really recognize, but everyone - save Jack and Dex - is singing along.
Jack helps unload the groceries. He’s about to escape back to his room when Holster says, “Hey, Jack, we’re grilling tonight, do you want chicken or a burger?”
“Oh. Chicken is fine.”
“Nice. We’ll start screaming when it’s ready.”
Jack blinks at him.
“Or we can just come get you.”
“Oh. Uh, thanks.” Jack takes it for the dismissal that it is and heads back to his room. He finishes unpacking, does some sit ups in an attempt to get rid of nervous energy, and ends up lying in bed staring at the blank Safari tab on his phone. He opens his messages instead, lets his parents know he’s settled in. There’s a text from his therapist letting him know they can do phone sessions. He ignores it for now.
There are no texts from Kent. Which makes sense. There haven’t been since they fought on the phone a few days after Jack got out of rehab.
Jack can’t decide whether or not he actually wants to hear from him. Can’t decide if he misses him or if he just misses hockey.
A knock on the door stops that train of thought.
“Food,” someone says.
“Thanks,” Jack calls.
Dinner is burgers, chicken, and grilled vegetables. It’s surprisingly good, better than Jack expected from a bunch of 20 somethings. They crowd around the glass dining table on the porch and it’s loud and cheerful, everyone talking over each other and laughing. He declines the offer of beer, but not everyone is drinking, so he doesn’t feel like the odd man out. He doesn’t say much, but he’s sandwiched between Holster and Shitty, the latter occasionally elbowing him and grinning. They’re both loud and talkative, so he pretends he can’t get a word in and smiles whenever someone catches his eye.
At some point, Shitty and Holster are arguing over his head, and Jack catches Bitty looking at him. Bitty blushes, but offers a sympathetic smile and shakes his head. He says something that Jack doesn’t quite catch, so he leans forward and taps his ear.
Bitty meets him halfway. “These boys,” he repeats, and he sounds incredibly fond.
Jack goes to bed around ten. He lies awake for longer than he’d like to admit, but still falls asleep before Shitty returns to the room.
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Part 2 Episode 6 Analysis (3/?) (i.e the horrible scene where Adam is served on a plate)
And now we come to That Dinner. Firstly, the table has been set, the vegetables cooked and prepared, the candles lit, and that’s a lot of small details and there’s music and everything’s just clearly prepared for a romantic meal, and while I know Lucifer clearly wanted to lure Lilith into a false sense of security, I can’t imagine him being someone to ever have the patience to do all that and to make it right, to make ti feel genuinely sweet and romantic. So the torturous part of me thinks that he killed Adam in the cottage, or in the garden, possibly while Adam was making dinner, so all these preparations were Adam’s, but then Lucifer killed him and made him the main course. But regardless, this does mean, as Lilith is eating a cooked steak, that Lucifer went to the effort of not just killing Adam, but getting him into a sizeable portion that fit in Mary’s oven? Side note: Mary must get a new oven if Lilith didn’t already rip the thing out. Second side note; where was the rest of Adam’s body? What did Lucifer do with it?
“You are a man of many talents, Adam; this roast is delicious”
This line kills me for two reasons. The way she says ‘many talents’ suggests she has seen his other talents, that she’s gotten to know him so well that she knows his skills, she knows what he’s good at. It also nicely implies some sexual/romantic gifts. The other reason this line kills me is that she thinks the roast is delicious, in a way that suggests it’s extra delicious, more so than usual....and it’s just, in retrospect (or in foreshadowing for that matter), the confirmation that Lilith feasts on male flesh. She doesn’t eat it, it’s not something she has to have to survive like a vampire with blood, it’s something she feasts on (her own choice of words) which is to say it’s something she indulges in, it’s a treat, it’s something she really enjoys. And the fact Lucifer knows this about her, and knows how much she’ll enjoy the taste because of how much she enjoys feasting on male flesh, and uses it against her, knowing that not only would she be horrified to realise who she is eating but that it would likely permanently ruin her enjoyment of feasting on male flesh permanently (as it is interesting we never see her eat human again after this episode)...is just such a specifically cruel way to torment and punish her.
“I promised you deliciousness once upon a time”
Lilith is so blissfully content and blissfully ignorant in that contentment, she totally misses the clue in that line. The promise of deliciousness, the phrase, the implication it is, is always tied to Satan.....yet she doesn’t even blink, she’s too happy and satisfied in this little world she believes she still has.
Now when Lucifer!Adam says ‘Dessert is your reward for saying yes to Tibet’, the first time I watched it and we didn’t know Adam was dead, I immediately had the thought of ‘oh so now we’re seeing who the real Adam is, that he’s not as nice as he’s appeared, we’re going to find out he’s controlling and abusive’, because that phrase was so out of character for Adam. It was the sort of demanding thing he never does, and it’s like even when Lucifer is pretending to be Adam he can’t manage to mimic him right, because Adam respects women and respected Lilith and would never imply such a demand-and-reward attitude. And you do see Lilith pause at this, as if thinking it odd or dislikeable herself. Which is why she stares at him and says ‘I haven’t said yes yet’ in her usual defiant way.
Yet, when Lucifer!Adam replies ‘but....you’re going too’, she reconsiders and seems to think that rather than being demanding it was simply Adam knowing her well enough to have already guessed her answer, and this reveals a lot about her feelings for Adam, how much she loved him. She presumes he knows her that well now, because she feels that open and free with him, she may not have told him her real name, but she isn’t acting like anyone but herself, the ‘new Mary’ he believes he’s seeing is just Lilith without much filter at all. So therefore, he knows her in her opinion. Then it also tells us that she loves him and knows him so much that she knows he wouldn’t ever demand anything of her, he would never hold something over her head, so she therefore ‘knows’ it can only be that he’s teasing her. Which would have been true....if Adam wasn’t actually fucking Lucifer.
And it’s in that moment, that moment when she thinks she’s realised he knows her so well and she’s come to the conclusion she also knows him, and it’s this knowing-each-other-respectful-love that she makes her decision about Tibet. She takes a huge breath, she pauses, she sets her wine down; we are in no doubt that this is not an easy or sudden decision for Lilith, this is a big deal. She knows in saying yes to Tibet she is giving up being Satan’s right hand (or left hand as they’ve said in the show), she is giving up playing her role in the prophecy, she is giving up Lucifer, and most importantly, she knows she is giving up the throne. That is a huge fucking deal. And she is giving it up, because for the first time in her life, Lilith has a choice for happiness. Before she’s had choices between freedom and prison, death and survival, power and powerlessness, this is the first time ‘happy’ has been part of the choice, and when given a choice between happiness and power...she’s choosing happiness. And that says a lot about her character and her true nature. And it’s such a big fucking deal.
And the moment she says ‘Yes, I am’ and takes a bite, is the moment the audience gets a flash of what’s to come. It’s a single frame, a glimse of the future that lasts no more than a single frame of a second, showing Adam’s head and Satan sat at the table. We know the truth before Lilith does, which is like saying ‘this is a joke on her. this entire conversation was a farce at her expense’. But it’s so quick, you don’t really see it unless you freeze frame by frame, it’s subliminal, giving us the sense something is very wrong as we then hear the unnatural crunch to Lilith’s bite and we see her pull out the enchanted ring
"How did that get in there?”
Okay, let me just cry at this line. Lilith says this so breathless with genuine confusion, she’s so bewildered because she cannot understand what’s happening. Lilith is usually the first to click about what’s going on, she’s also a very suspicious person, and as Ambrose says she notices everything, but right now, despite every sign telling her something is horribly wrong, she’s oblivious. She was that content in her little happy bubble that she forgot for a moment that Lucifer is an abusive arsehole who murders people and tortures her to keep her in her place. She was so lost in her feelings about Adam, and the hope of having a new, free life, and of going to Tibet, that she briefly thought she lived in a world without the Dark Lord. And it’s just so freaking innocent; the way she says it is one of those flashes we get of the way Lilith was in the beginning. The innocent, hopefully, yet strong and rebellious Lilith from the beginning, the one who had yet to suffer betrayals.
Even when she sees his clawed hands, even when she looks up and looks straight in the Dark Lord’s face, it doesn’t click straight away. She’s surprised, she’s fearful, but the penny still hasn’t fully dropped. She’s in a state of denial, as if subconsciously, she still naively hopes that Adam is somewhere else, that he’s just at the shops while Satan is here tormenting her. just like when he spoke to her that night, threatening her, while Adam was in bed, utterly oblivious to it all.
And then you see the fear deepening in her eyes as she glances down at the table, and I think, even before Lucifer lifts the platter, she’s already starting to finally realise why the steak tasted like it did, and how the ring got into her meal, but she still doesn’t want to confirm it. You see how much she tries not to look at the platter, but it’s unavoidable....and then she can’t take her eyes away. And you can physically see her trying not to try, she is trying her hardest to hold back her sobs and, what I suspect, would be a scream of horror. She doesn’t want to give Lucifer the satisfaction, it’s a knee-jerk habit she undoubtedly has learned over the millennia to show as little weakness as possible, but this is really testing her. You can see the horror on her face and you can also see her heart slowly breaking in two, you can physically feel it. Everything she thought she had, everything she was counting on all of thirty seconds ago, just thirty fucking seconds, has all be taken away, violently, cruelly and deliberately. And then, what is both more heartbreaking and also interesting, is we see her horror start to turn to panic. She starts breathing erratically, because not only is she having to face this horror before her, but she also has Lucifer’s words in her ears, reminding her of what it all means:
“Our bond is eternal. Our bond is unbreakable. There is no escape to Tibet or anywhere else”
He is telling her that no matter what he does to her, no matter how he treats her, no matter how she changes her mind, no matter how her desires may change, no matter how she might want other things, no matter what she does, no matter whether she wants to serve him or not, no matter whether she wants to be with him or not, she has no choice. There is a bond between them that is eternal and unbreakable. Two interesting choice of words, as we know witches and warlocks sign the Book of the Beast as part of a contract, but it’s never said to be eternal or unbreakable, and from what we saw at Sabrina’s trial we know there are loopholes. We also know that Lilith never signed the book and was a witch in her own right, so any bond between them was never in exchange for power. So the fact there is a bond between them at all should be something self made. But the fact it is an eternal and unbreakable bond tells us it’s something beyond the norm, it’s something deeper than signing a Book, it’s something bigger than family, or even King or Queen, it is something ancient and powerful. Their stories are entwined, and Lucifer uses this to his abusive advantage. But the language choice is so interesting and revealing, and is perhaps the more mystical way of saying what Lilith qualified as ‘co-dependent’.
He is also telling her that he knew precisely what Tibet was for her, he know she wants to escape, he knows her thoughts have changed, that her ambitious and priorities have shifted and that her loyalty has wavered and is waning also, he knows exactly what Tibet meant to her on every level, and Lilith is realising as she listens that as he has taken Tibet away, he will take away anything else she ever tries. He is reminding her that she is trapped. And as she looks at Adam’s severed head, she is seeing the person who respected her and made her feel happy and genuinely free has been ripped from her life, and all she is left with once more is nothing but her abuser.
“Now, clear your plate of the mortal”
This instruction is horrendous. We don’t see her following this order, we only know that she does by the vomiting scene. But after telling her precisely what is on her plate, he makes her eat it. Bear in mind, she canonically states that Adam was the ‘one thing’ that she loved, bear in mind that we saw her excessively happy with him in the previous scene, bear in mind she was a minute ago planning to run off to Tibet with him, and she is being made to look at his severed head on the table, his dead eyes staring at her, while she eats a steak made of his fucking torso. She is made to clean her fucking plate. That is trauma that not even the rightful Queen of Hell is going to get over any time soon (hence why she broke into fucking horrified panic in Part 3). But thankfully, we’re spared seeing that scene.....all we watch is the moment where Lilith finally breaks.
You know that defence I mentioned above where she tries not to cry and you can see she knows showing weakness makes him win and makes everything worse and you can see her employing her usual survival techniques? That all goes the moment he tells her to clean her plate and she knows she’s going to have to, because she’s all alone and there’s no one going to help her, no one going to defend her or support her. She breaks, we see her give into the sobs. A choking sob, before she covers her mouth, trying to hold it back, but there’s no denying it, she’s not hiding it, she’s had her heart broken. Again.
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The Lies We Tell Ourselves, Chapter 9
Fandom: Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist
Title: The Lies We Tell Ourselves
Rating: PG (I’m assuming it’ll stay there?)
Pairing: Zoey/Max
Synopsis: Max would do anything for Zoey. Including posing as her fake boyfriend to give her father one last “big moment” to celebrate with her. Nothing could possibly go wrong. After all, it’s only his heart that stands to be broken. Right?
Chapter: 9/?
Author’s Notes: Takes place after Zoey’s Extraordinary Glitch.
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
“Hey, guys. Sorry we’re a little late. You didn’t start the movie without us?” Zoey asked as she opened her parents’ front door and walked inside. Reluctantly, she shrugged out of the coat he’d wrapped her in, wishing she could think of an excuse to keep it on. She didn’t really need the warmth, but it smelled like him and so it brought her a measure of comfort. She turned to ask him if he wanted it back, but he was looking in the other direction, and she wasn’t strong enough to get his attention. So, instead, she hung it in the coat closet.
“Of course not,” her mom replied cheerfully, giving her a hug. “Your dad decided he wanted to start with charades anyway. I decided to have a little fun with it, so tonight’s theme is movie titles. Max, everyone’s in the other room, setting up, if you want to go on in.”
He brushed her, heading into the living room, and Zoey found herself starting at his back with such longing, it took her breath away. What would he do if she called out to him? Asked him to come back? Told him she needed him to hold her?
Maggie made a soft sound. “Zoey, I was just about to grab drinks for everyone. Do you want to help me?”
“Is this another one of those things where you pretend you need my help, but secretly you want to grill me about something?” she asked dubiously as she followed her mom into the kitchen.
“Of course not!” Maggie lied smoothly. Then, her eyes wide with deceptive innocence, she asked, “Why? Is there something I need to grill you about?”
She reached into the refrigerator with a sigh as she asked morosely, “If I said no, would you believe me?”
Maggie reached for some glasses. “I’m your mother; of course I would believe you,” she answered. “And I wouldn’t even think of mentioning the fact that you look like you’ve been crying. Or the way Max was looking at you until you turned to look at him. Or the way you looked at him when his back was turned.”
“He was looking at me?” she asked in a tiny, hopeful voice.
“Zoey, what is going on? Is everything okay with you two?” she asked, in lieu of answering the question.
Her shoulders slumping, she admitted softly, “I don’t know what to say, Mom. I…I screwed up, and I hurt him. A lot. He’s…he’s giving up on me, and I just don’t know how to fix it.” She felt the urge to cry again, but she fought back the tears, scared that if she cried now – in front of her mother – she wouldn’t be able to stop.
Maggie gave her a sympathetic look. “I can’t imagine you did anything as bad as all that.”
Resting her shoulders on the counter, she placed her chin in one hand and threw her mother a morose look. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that.”
“Have you tried talking to him?”
“I’ve tried! But he doesn’t believe me, and I don’t know how to make him! What if I can’t, and I lose him completely? I can’t even imagine my life without Max.”
Putting the glasses on the counter, her mother wrapped her in a tight hug. “Oh, Zoey. I know it’s hard, and you’re scared, but if there’s one thing I don’t doubt for a second, it’s how much the two of you love each other. And if there’s one thing that I’ve learned from a lifetime of loving your father, it’s that as long as you love each other, you can work through this together.”
Zoey pulled back and threw her mother a skeptical look. “I appreciate the advice, but I don’t think you and dad ever screwed up as badly as I just screwed things up with Max.”
Her mom laughed. “I know it seems like that now, but we were still so young when we met; we still had so many things we had to learn. You don’t think we ever did anything stupid or thoughtless? That I never worried that I’d driven your father so crazy, he might just be done with me?”
“But…you guys always have always seemed so solid! You have, like, the perfect marriage!”
Maggie snorted. “Oh, sure, it seems like that now, but it took us some time to get there. You know how Mitch loves his big moments? Well, we’d only been dating for a couple months and he decided he wanted to take me to a basketball game and do this huge gesture using the Jumbotron. In retrospect, it was very sweet, but I wasn’t really ready for anything like that.”
As Maggie dropped her arms and started to gather the drinks onto a tray, Zoey asked, “But you love those big gestures!”
“I do now! But back then, it was so different from anything I’d been used to. I mean, when you’re having an affair with a married man, you don’t really do big gestures. It’s more discrete sneaking around and clandestine rendezvous. So, needless to say, I didn’t respond very well, and we ended up having a huge argument.”
Zoey bit her lip. “So how did the two of you get through it?”
Lifting the tray and turning towards the living room, her mom replied, “We remembered how much we loved each other, and holding on to that was more important than any argument we could have.”
Grabbing the two bottles of beer her mom couldn’t fit on the tray, Zoey followed her into the other room. As she walked in, she saw Max sitting on the couch, next to her dad. Emily was standing in front of him, and Zoey watched as she took his hand and pressed it against her stomach. “Do you feel it?”
If Zoey didn’t love him already, she thought she would have fallen for him all over again when she saw the look of wonder on his face at the feel of the baby’s kick. “Emily, that’s…incredible. Thank you.”
Oblivious to her daughter’s emotional turmoil, Maggie walked towards the group, calling cheerfully, “Okay, who needs a drink? Max, how about a beer?”
“Ah, sure,” he agreed, pulling his hand off Emily’s stomach and throwing Maggie a smile. “Thank you.”
“Oh, gee. I don’t seem to have one,” Maggie replied, the regret in her voice a little over-the-top as she thrust the only one on her tray into David’s hand.
Somewhat startled, David began to protest, “Actually, I was going to ask for -” Since Maggie’s back was to Zoey, she couldn’t see the look on her mother’s face. But whatever David saw there, he wisely changed course. “A beer, of course. Thank you.”
Plowing ahead, Maggie continued brightly, “But I think Zoey has a beer for you. Zoey?”
Max watched as Zoey, blushing bright red, crept forward, holding out one of the bottles for him to take. It was all he could do not to laugh aloud at Maggie’s not-so-subtle maneuvering. He didn’t know what the two had talked about in the kitchen, but he’d learned long ago that nothing much got past the heads of the Clarke family. But knowing Zoey as he did, he also knew she was equal parts touched and desperate to set herself on fire, so he threw her a week and a cheeky grin, mouthing, “Subtle.”
“Sorry,” she mouthed back, blushing even brighter red if that were possible, but he just shook his head slightly, silently reassuring her. She handed over his drink, and he let his hand linger a little longer than necessary when it brushed against hers.
“Okay, now that I have the beer I definitely wanted, let’s get this party started!” David interjected cheerfully, rubbing his hands together. “Zoey and Max, Emily and I are willing to take pity on you this time and let you go first. It’s the least we can do, since we’re about to totally obliterate you.” It was possible David took charades a little too seriously.
Max snorted. “You say that, but you’re going to need that beer to have something to cry into when we’re done with you,” he joked in return. “Zoey, swee –” He caught himself mid-endearment, choked slightly when he realized what he was saying and the word got caught in the back of his throat, then tried to continue when he remembered that it was just the sort of thing that would continue to sell their fictional relationship. “-eetheart,” he finished, the word tumbling awkwardly off his tongue, broken in half by a strange hiccup in the middle. With a strangled cough, he tried to recover. “Do you want to go first?”
He’d seen Zoey flinch when he mangled the pet name, but she plastered a smile on her face and nodded. “Of course.” She took a quick drink of her beer, then he watched as she reached into the bowl and grabbed a piece of paper, giving it a quick glance before tossing it aside.
God, she was so beautiful.
He shook his head, trying to dislodge the thought. If he was ever going to convince his heart that it didn’t love her anymore, he had to stop thinking like that. Though he imagined the heat death of the universe would happen before he managed to fall out of love with her, he had to try. Picking at the peeling label on his beer bottle, he pondered the cute girl at the gym that flirted with him every time he came in. It probably wouldn’t be fair to ask her out just yet, but maybe one day…
He shouldn’t be thinking about this now. Not in front of her parents, when they were supposed to be pretending to be a couple. The more he thought about it, the more miserable he became, and he was struggling as it was to smile and keep up the act. When all this was over, he was going to need to ask Zoey for a break. He needed to take some time to get his head in order. As much as he kept telling himself to close off his heart and keep his distance, one look in her eyes shattered his resolve. When she cried, his body ached to do anything he could to take away her pain. Which only left him with his own.
Lost in thought, he didn’t hear what David said, but he chuckled softly when he heard the rest of her family laughing in response. Rubbing his hand across his forehead, he tried to stifle his melancholy sigh. He had to pull his mind off her, off his heartache, off the bewilderment he felt when he tried to decide which was worse – the ache in his chest now, or the emptiness he would feel if he couldn’t get a hold of himself and lost Zoey completely.
No, he was getting ahead of himself. He wouldn’t lose her. He just needed some time. If he couldn’t stop loving her, perhaps he could find a way to lock those feelings deep inside himself and move on with his life. Yeah, maybe he would ask out that girl at the gym. What was her name? Sandy? Carol? Maybe it was Alice…
“All right, enough fooling around, you guys. We need to focus,” Emily cut in, leaning forward and staring at Zoey with the kind of laser-like intensity usually reserved for scientists tasked with splitting atoms. David wasn’t the only one who took charades very seriously.
Max chuckled and caught Zoey’s eye, subconsciously wanting her to share in his silent amusement as he took another long sip of beer. He was going to have to slow down a little if he didn’t want to get tipsy and make a fool out of himself, but he wouldn’t mind a slight buzz, if it helped take away his memory of his earlier breakdown and confession. Not to mention, well, everything else.
“Okay, Zoey. You ready?” Maggie asked as Mitch reached for the button to start the timer.
Her eyes locked on Max, she opened her mouth, presumably to respond. Instead, she started to sing. “What did you think I would do at this moment…”
Surprised, Max sucked in a sharp breath mid-swallow, accidentally inhaling his sip of beer. He spluttered, choking, trying to catch his breath as he sat up abruptly on the couch. Zoey clamped one hand over her mouth and stared at him in horror, a tiny, frantic shake of her head the silent answer to his unasked question. She was not doing this intentionally.
Maggie let out a small, surprised laugh. Emily threw Zoey a confused look while David slapped Max on the back, trying to clear his airway. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” he wheezed, scrambling to his feet.
Zoey clearly tried to hold her hand in place, and it shook as it fell away. She continued, “When you’re standing before me with tears in your eyes…” She snapped her jaw closed, pressing her lips together in a futile attempt to bite back her song.
“Zoey, what are you doing?” Emily pressed. “This is charades, not karaoke.”
Max forced a loud laugh, trying to divert her family’s attention from the impromptu musical number that was about to play out in front of them. He had to do something to get Zoey out of there. Fast. Before the situation got any worse. Boxed in on both sides, he realized it would take too long to scoot around the coffee table in front of the couch, so he jumped over it instead, nearly stumbling in his haste to get to her side. “Ha! Oh, yeah. It’s okay, Emily. This is…um…this is just a little thing…Zoey and I do. She, uh, lost a bet earlier and, um -”
“Trying to tell me that you have found you another, and you just don’t love me no more…”
Raising his voice to drown out her singing, he blurted, “Actually, would you guys excuse us for a second? We should really…” he gestured vaguely. “Outside.”
Zoey couldn’t stop herself from singing, so he bent down and pressed his lips against hers. She made a tiny little squeak of surprise, but when she opened her mouth, he deepened the kiss. Anything to help her stop singing until he could get her someplace private. The day would probably come when she would have to tell her family about her mysterious superpower, but this was probably not the place, and it was definitely not the time.
She grabbed onto him, cupping his face in her hands, and he honestly didn’t know if she was clinging to him because she wanted to continue their kiss, or if she was just desperate to stop herself from singing. Max shot a quick look towards the front door out of the corner of his eye and, at a loss how else to move her without breaking off the kiss, swept her into his arms.
“All right, all right you two! Take it outside!” David grumbled good-naturedly, and Max raced to the exit as fast as he could while still trying to act casual.
Behind him, he heard some movement, the soft crinkle of paper, and then Emily mumble in a bewildered tone, “Okay, but what did that song had to do with The Princess Bride?”
Max was in such a rush to get out of the house, he tripped on the threshold and tumbled, having to shift his hold on Zoey as they careened down the porch steps. Off-balance by her weight, he did a strange half-spin as he hit the ground, barely breaking his stride on his mad dash down the walk. If he could only get her to the street. Surely her parents wouldn’t hear her from the street. Just a few more seconds, Zoey. Give me just a few more seconds.
She made another surprised squeak and moved her hands to his shoulders to keep from tumbling out of his arms, but it was enough for their kiss to break off, and she began to sing again. “What did you think I would say at this moment? When I’m faced with the knowledge that you just don’t love me…”
She began to wiggle in his arms, trying to regain her feet, and he barely made it to the street before he had to put her down. Panting from the exertion, and almost certain he had pulled something when he fell off the front steps, he didn’t struggle when she wrapped her hand around the back of his neck and pulled him closer, pressing her forehead against his as she crooned, “Did you think I would curse you, or say things to hurt you? ‘Cause you just don’t love me no more…”
“Zoey,” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “Please.” If this was a heart song – and he was certainly willing to believe it was, since he doubted she’d have started singing in front of her family – he knew she couldn’t control herself. That didn’t make it any easier to hear.
Nuzzling him with her cheek, she sang softly in his ear, “Did you think I could hate you? Or raise my hands to you? Now, come on, you know me too well. How could I hurt you, when darling I love you. And you know I’d never hurt you.”
She trailed a line of kisses along his jaw, and he moaned again. He knew he should release her and step back, but he couldn’t force his arms to let her go. She trailed her hands along the line of his neck and then down his chest, her fingers exploring a soft path across his stomach. His knees buckled, and he pulled her harder against him.
She brushed her lips against his, and he told himself he shouldn’t kiss back. True, it was a heart song, but she wasn’t entirely in her right mind at the moment. She wasn’t in control of her words. Or her actions, he reminded himself when she nipped his lower lip with her teeth.
“What do you think I would give at this moment? If you’d stay, I’d subtract twenty years from my life. I’d fall down on my knees -”
He couldn’t look at her and retain any self-control, so he kept his eyes squeezed shut as he caressed her collarbone, his fingers caressing the back of her neck as held her to him. Tilting his head, he breathed her in. He shouldn’t kiss her. He told himself he shouldn’t kiss her. But how much could a man take? As soft as a whisper, he pleaded, “Damn it, Zoey. Tell me to stop. Tell me to walk away. Tell me you don’t want me to kiss you.”
She hesitated, but he sucked in a ragged gasp when she relaxed against him, her body pressing against his. Her breath was as warm and soft as the caress of her lips against his as she whispered, “Max? I think…we have a lot to talk about. Take me home.”
#the lies we tell ourselves#zoey clarke#max richman#zoey's extraordinary playlist#zep#zomax#clarkeman#fake dating au
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Gimme Shelter livewatch under the cut.... I was on my phone when I wrote it so apologies for the typos
“Patchwork Community Center: Care Given to All” with a huge, lurid heart. Hmmm.... patchwork having two meanings here.....
Pastor (?) has 2 Timothy 2:22 tattooed on his arm! “Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.” (NIV) Are we looking at growth and found family in this episode?!?
Oh that’s the alleyway!
Hitting mythology themes— Connor is an Anglicized version of an Irish name— Conchobar mac Nessa is maybe the most famous bearer of the name, from Irish mythology— he’s the king who lusted after Deirdre and had her locked up until she came of age, which is probably neither here nor there as far as this poor Connor is concerned...
That thing has a big lurid heart on his overalls better run lol— Oh shit it’s an evil Teddy Ruxpin!!!! Thanks Davy Perez!!!!
That’s the thing animal control uses to manage aggressive animals??? Is this saying something about the Patchwork people?
And that’s it for the cold open.
——
The uh, the mcfuckin what, the Camelot Palace Casino? Is this a tour of the legends of Ireland and Britain all of a sudden? What’s with hitting this theme so hard so fast?
Uh-oh the whole Highway to Heaven reference has me side-eyeing Dean’s suggestion for Cas snd Jack to leave the bunker... Dabb even “spoiled” that line in a tweet lol... in that show the cop and the angel got their (vague) assignments from the big guy.......
Oh SHIT “we’re standing in what I call ‘the trap zone’” Perez is coming for my whole life with this episode!!!! And they’re doing highkey “season one totally-normal Winchester investigation questions script” I love it!!!!
“Slasher flick” Oh we’re revisiting Mint Condition. This is fine.
AND TOMBSTONE THIS IS NOT FINE DAVY! We’re running the good times backwards what did I say about this being the flipside of Last Holiday!
H2H again but this time it’s sus... plus I’m with Zack, I totally want the cozy murder spinoff I imagined Adam and Michael doing plz
Oh the Cas and Jack dynamic here is so sweet.
Pastor just leaving his door open like there’s no such thing as a thief bless his heart. They must be torn up about Connor but Pastor was the last one to talk to him so he’s sus I don’t make the rules.
Oh no Red’s a THIEF!!! Who ever would have guessed. Okay I did NOT expect that jumpscare because of the way Connor’s murder primed me, that was masterfully done.
That’s vaguely an Ohio Star quilt square on the sign behind her except um I forget what that tilted square in the center turns it into? It’s chiming with something... I’ll have to look that up later.
“Divide and conquer” no never split up in a slasher movie that’s how you get murders use the buddy system!
Gonna stop a sec because I just realized that Zack is two-faced. The British dandy was an act. The killer is wearing a Cinderella mask. Ok I’m gonna make a prediction that Zack is actually the killer, a la the demon in Repo Man...
Okay there was definitely a beat after Dean said “Glad soneone’s taking charge” [ofHell] and the focus shifted to Sam. Hm.
“We’ve got to set her up for her own death” so meta, these writers are gonna shred us.
I love being shown how much Castiel has changed throughe Jack not understanding the Kool-Aid reference. And the cats line lol. That’s both amazing and poignant.
That’s a log cabin pattern in the cafeteria. Home. Makes me think back on other quilts we’ve seen this season and if “weaving” is the right metaphor for writing lol. I mean, the action of “patching” is synonymous with “mending” or even healing, but patchwork is also a craft with a long, long history in America (idk if quiltmaking is called patchwork everywhere) of taking a few often mismatched fabrics and cutting and sewing into something beautiful. There are generally two kinds of quilt tops— patterns, like we’ve seen so far in this season, which are carefully planned and involve precise measurements, and “crazy quilts” which also require skill but are often more freeform and piecemeal. But both aspire to be beautiful. That’s an interesting way to conceptualize a serial text... as both creating and mending....
That prayer was sweet and not at all what I was expecting.
I get the finger-cutting for Valerie (stealing=sticky fingers) but not for Connor? Tenuous connection still betw lying and writing? It’s evocative of Se7en but the killer seems to have the same MO for all the killings (I attended CSI for a while.)
Snow White is making me uneasy. Oh she’s the preacher’s daughter... we’ve seen that in early days, too.... oh.... oh....
It’s not the AV guy despite having seen all the AV equipment around Valerie. That’s too easy.
“A saint is a sinner who keeps trying-“ no scroll back, the important part was “we all have to take care of each other.” That’s a theme in the series.
She’s all in pink....
dean and amara on the same wavelength about food lol
Ha ha inversion of “oh you’re a fan of religion? name all seven gods then.”
Castiel’s testimony just wrecked me.
“Members serve the gift of food” hmmm the signs in this episode are tip-top
Gonna just watch for a while.
Oh crap “each is a finger” oh it’s about the sins of the father— No Cas no, you’ve fallen for the misdirection!
Oh okay good, Chuck’s not done snuffing worlds. That had me REALLY WORKED UP ha ha because Amara has no reason to lie right?
That was a really good conversation.... and implying that Former Death bent the truth...
Oh fuck I’m gonna cry “I wanted younto see that your mother was just a person” YES! DISMANTLE THIS MYTHOLOGY AMARA!!! Name it!
THE MYTH THAT YOU’D HELD ON TO FOR SO LONG did they just— THEY DID
rigging the game— ftfoh with the casino metaphors already we know the house always wins except when it doesn’t
Lying, lying, lying,
Do we even know Snow White’s name yet? And why was Connor a liar? Because I think we can make a guess at this point.... ah ha ha her name is sylvia— “forest spirit” she’s Mrs Butters— and she’s after hypocrites— but the killing isn’t supernatural, just churchy?
Oh shit SHE IS A DEAN MIRROR IF SHE STABS JACK I’LL FLIP A DAMN TABLE
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prairiedust.exe has encountered an error and must be restarted
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Okay so “Dad” steps in and stops Sylvia’s attack on Jack...
Why is that Zack? What????
“I’ve been lying to you” oh here we go
Oh it would be death #3, remember what Dabb said about threes a long time ago, two attempts that are unsuccessful and one that satisfies the parameters— but no he’s a jack :((((
I have to stop watching for a while.
Okay I finished it. Holy cats do I have some Thoughts about this episode.
What I loved: Revisiting Dean’s anger, BUT the parental mirror here (in retrospect, at least for me) was a John mirror-- all the mothers (exc for Rowena) in this episode are dead. And Pastor Joe didn’t apparently embrace his wife’s faith until she had died, and then his vision was radically different than his wife’s was-- much like John’s reasons for becoming a hunter were vastly different from Mary’s... but much like “patching” this subtext was possibly even more “healing” than having John back in the 300th ep... This was... looking at a child’s anger when they’re in the middle of their own family mythology. Am I implying that Dean’s anger is immaturity? Eh, it’s... unripeness. I have an old meta in my drafts about the heroine’s journey and why Mary’s story conformed to it while feeling totally unfulfilling in her actual character arc and I’m so glad I sat down and examined that rather than finish it. I have a lot I want to say about Cas’ testimony too, but that has to sit a while. ALSO also, Cas has already thrown away his shot by making the Empty deal, right?....
LANGUAGE! Cas saying “I found myself lost” is a bonkers sentence, right? It’s like when people say someone “turned up missing”-- AND it does not have the same meaning as “I realized I was lost”-- you get a double whammy of the connotation “to search for.” I loved loved loved how language was such a big deal in Last Holiday and then again here, I need to rewatch while paying closer attention to Sylvia and things she says... but these two were sister episodes in so many ways, that when I said there was a “lack of narrative mirrors” in Last Holiday, that’s only because the lens for that kind of reading is Gimme Shelter. That is not the first time spn has played with a “coin” or paired structure-- I think the first time I noticed it was Fan Fiction/Ask Jeeves but I was a transfer student from another fandom at the time lol. But of course, we get a huge truth bomb at the end of the episode, and again that splashy cymbal all over lying...
What I got wrong-- Zack wasn’t the killer but he’s fishy as hell-- he stole Sylvia! Is this part of Rowena’s “people generally end up where they deserve to be” except she’s built in an express lane? “Do you need a driver” is that his actual job now? Taking unripe souls to Hell Orientation? What’s up with him being there... the other shoe did not drop. So there is a third episode out there somewhere where this might get wrapped up? The conversation between Dean and Cas can easily be something that happens offscreen, and I don’t think that it would be the first time we miss an “important” conversation, especially since we know roughly what will be said and how it will wrap up-- it’s an “open text” of a sort. Maybe a fanfiction gap lol, I can’t wait for the codas.
Also, the fingers thing being Sylvia’s father’s favorite analogy is where she got her MO, something that I definitely didn’t see, although it fits right in with her father’s slightly pithy character. I think it’s interesting again how we’re playing with threes and fours. Three fingers got cut off but it was apparent that Valerie (valorious one) wouldn’t die until finger #4.... Jack really seems to be our last hope.
#the folklore of supernatural#the mythology of supernatural#mary winchester#davy perez#the second timothy of supernatural#gimme shelter#season 15#my mom gave me the family baby name book when i was about eleven and so i had an obsession with names#all of my characters in all of my stories had Important Symbolic Names LOL#it amused my father who told me I needed to read herman melville#and there's a little bit of my own family mythos.#now i harangue my own kid to write and stuff ha ha ha except instead of a baby name book i gave him watership down#same effect#more rabbit fighting
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