#||terrifying aquarium shenanigans

[vera-deville]

Vera's Hauntober 2023

Day 19 - Familiars (Kyoya Ootori)

10/26/2023 - 05/03/2024

Pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader Word Count: 1,516 Warnings: Reader has a lot of familiars, and they include but are not limited to snakes, spiders, birds, puppies, and mosquitos. Gender: AFAB Taglist: @animusicnerd, @leonistic, @pyroxeene, @savanaclaw1996, @thequeenoffishburrito, @ellssbellss, @reshi-galaxy, @hanafubukki, @hitoshislover, @purplecandything Notes: This fic is by no means an encouragement for you to go buy a pet (especially of the exotic kind). Please don't see the shenanigans in this fanfic as your sign to go get a snake or something-

"Y/N?" Haruhi called for you.

Fumbling around with the boa on your neck, you call out to your friend from the depths of your room.

Every time Haruhi finds herself a guest of your home, she is reminded that you are, at your core, a damn rich person. Sure, you were also the most down-to-Earth person she knew from Ouran, but who else would be able to afford a glass greenhouse that connects to their already expensive bedroom?

A rich person. That's who.

Haruhi traversed through the small tunnel that lead to the actual greenhouse section of your room. The last time she visited the place, she'd seen you dancing around with mosquitos. Mosquitos.

Curious, but also bewildered by whatever animal she may see this time, Haruhi's mind came to a stop when she saw a snake strangling you.

Terrified, she tried to will herself to pull the snake away from you (without having it attack her in any way) until she heard sprinkles of laughter coming from your direction. You were gently nuzzling the reptile, cooing at how handsome and charming he is, all while allowing said reptile to wrap itself around strangle you.

"Hey Haruhi!" You beamed at her.

"Ummm, Senpai?"

"Yes?"

"You have a snake around you."

"That I do~"

If the lack of urgency from your voice didn't show that the snake and you were friends, then your coddling most certainly did. Taking a step backwards, Haruhi watched curiously as you gently untangled the snake from around your neck and placed him on the ground.

You watched Haruhi as she nervously eyed the snake as it seemed to slither in her direction and watched as relief settled into her features when he cut a right and went about his way. The relief only lasted a few seconds though. "Y/N?"

"Yeah?"

"There are more snakes in your room."

"Ummm, yeah?"

"And they're not in aquariums-"

This confused you quite a bit. Why would they be in aquariums? They're terrestrial snakes. Even if they could go into water, they weren't meant to constantly be swimming in water (unlike sea snakes).

"What do you mean aquariums?" You asked Haruhi.

"You know, like the glass boxes that they put reptiles in? I saw a video of someone who had an iguana in one of those aquariums." Haruhi explained, still keeping an eye on the snakes.

Suddenly, it dawned on you.

"Haru, those aren't aquariums. The 'glass boxes' you're talking about are called different things depending on what you put in them. The ones that hold reptiles and other animal life are called vivariums." You clarified. "Besides, they're happier like this, free to roam inside the greenhouse as much as they want."

Nodding her head, Haruhi ignored your typical habit of speaking as though the animals were people themselves and asked, "so what'd you call me over for?"

"Oh right, thanks for reminding me!" You exclaimed, scurrying over to the other side of the greenhouse. Haruhi could see you reaching inside of a pet cage, which usually would be used to carry animals like cats, but knowing you, it could literally be anything inside that plastic cage. Haruhi craned her neck a little bit to observe your actions, heart nearly slowing to a still to see what freak of nature you were going to pull out of the magical cage.

Meow.

Huh.

So it was a cat-

You pulled the adorable tabby close to your bosom, your calming aura immediately relaxing the paranoid creature. Walking over to Haruhi, you introduced the cat. "This is Aki." You stroked the cat's head starting from its forehead, and Haruhi watched as the cat fell impossibly deeper into sleep. "I found him on the road a couple of days ago, and as much as I want to take care of him, I'm kinda running out of space here." You say sheepishly.

As though on cue, the parrots started screeching from all over the greenhouse, causing Haruhi to look around in fright.

"I'm going to be sending Aki to a shelter, but the shelter I contacted is also currently full." Mournfully, you continued your story, all while gently rocking the feline in your arms. "Until then, I need someone to take care of him for me, because I don't think I can take care of him myself."

Well that was a little shocking. You of all people couldn't take care of a mere cat? Why you had parrots, cockroaches, and snakes, and you couldn't handle a cat? Haruhi figured there was another reason, but didn't bother asking for it.

"Do you want me to take care of Aki for you?" Haruhi asked.

"That's exactly what I was going to ask! If you don't mind, could you take care of him for a few days? Just until next Thursday, I promise. I'll give you everything you need, so you don't have to worry about a single thing."

Well, if was just for a few days, she'd be able to manage. She was sure that her father wouldn't mind (he got along great with you).

"Sure, why not?"

"Ahhhhh, you're the best Haru~"

It had been a few hours since then, and you were awaiting your next visitor. In the mean time, a capybara snorted running around without a care in the world. The sight put a smile on your face, content blooming in your heart.

Knock knock.

Jumping up, you sprinted to your door, and peeked through the window near it.

Finally, he's here.

You pulled the door back with such a fury that a miniscule shred of surprise appeared on Kyoya's face before disappearing as quickly as it came. Pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek, you pulled him into your greenhouse (mindful to close the door behind you).

"Haruhi came by earlier." You started a conversation.

"I assume that Aki has been adopted then?" Kyoya asked.

"Give her until next Thursday. She's not gonna want to send Aki to the shelter after all that quality time~"

If there was one thing people should never underestimate about you, it would be your motives. There was almost never a definitive reason for what you were doing until the reason was revealed. Your latest scheme involved finding a lonely cat a loving home.

"And how's Mr. Cuddles?" Kyoya asked, looking around the greenhouse.

"Right here" said a familiar snake as he hung down from a branch above Kyoya's head. He looked up and smiled at the boa. Mr. Cuddles slowly slunk down onto Kyoya's shoulder and wrapped himself loosely around his figure. Kyoya allowed this, enjoying the snake's presence.

"You know, it's funny how well the two of you get along now." You say, arms crossed.

"Jealous?" Kyoya and Mr. Cuddles as at the same time.

Scoffing, you turn on your heel and walk away to some other creature that would cuddle you the way Mr. Cuddles was cuddling your boyfriend.

As they watched your figure walk away, Kyoya and Mr. Cuddles faced each other, chuckling to themselves as they shook their heads at your antics.

Mimi the capybara waited for you to sit down on your chaise before jumping into your adoring arms. Squealing in glee, she nestled deep into your embrace as you hugged her tight. You watched as your boyfriend and his new best friend sat down on the chaise opposite to you and felt a gust of wind before feeling a weight on top of your head.

The head that peeked down to look at your face (albeit upside-down) belonged to Marisol - a sun conure.

"You thought that old cuddles hated you." Marisol squawked, laughing to herself.

"In Kyo's defense, he didn't know that we're familiars." Cuddles responded.

"Kyo?" You parroted. "Since when were you on nickname basis with my boyfriend?"

Your animals (and boyfriend) laughed at the pout that adorned your face. Mimi jumped off, jumping into the lap of your boyfriend instead, and the look of betrayal on your face made everyone laugh even more.

"I didn't know at the time that Cuddles was fond of me, but had I known, I would befriended him much sooner," Kyoya said, adding more salt to the already festering wound.

"Yeah, yeah, you're all just such great friends. We get it-" You say, annoyed. Marisol, the lovely thing didn't say a word as you sat petulantly.

As fun as it was to tease you, Kyoya loved you the most. No matter how many friends he had, and no matter how close he was with them, they didn't compare to you (except for maybe Tamaki). Having teased you enough (for now), he called your name.

"Y/N?" You finally looked at him.

"Come here."

Cuddles adjusted his position and Kyoya lifted Mimi for a bit, a silent gesture for you to cuddle with him. Smiling, you do go to him, Marisol still sitting on your head and cuddle with your favorite beings in the whole world.

Eventually, some of the other familiars also joined the cuddle pile, while the others watched from a distance.

All was right in the world.

Author's Note: I know that I said that the Hauntober event is currently under hiatus, but when random bursts of creativity occur, one does not simply not do anything about it-

Now, I actually really enjoyed writing this fic, because I'm an absolute sucker for animals. I've always wondered why characters only have like one familiar. Why not two? Why not ten? Why not as many as you want? So, to placate that, I made this. I had a particular idea as to how I wanted this to go, but it took a few detours.

See you in the next fic!

Masterlist Hauntober 2023 Masterlist

[dgaftilwedie]

Top ten places you would bring Thomas Thorne to if you could :3

my room :3 i think he'd like the fact that it smells like strawberries and also the view of my backyard in the summer

any candle store ever i think he'd find it "very darling"

ihop fer sure he has to experience the shenanigans of being in an ihop

FRIENDLYS!!!!!! love won't cure him but an ice cream sundae with on face on it will

a very pretty waterfall surrounded by a flowery meadow (preferably with deer)

a rage room......... he needs it

aquarium

six flags........... i think he'd be terrified at first, especially if he went on a rollercoaster, but he'd open his eyes to it and he'd be so siked he would truly have the time of his death

dunkin donuts i just know if he was alive he'd love a good hazelnut latte

BROADWAY.

[fmdalyssia]

||Terrifying Aquarium Shenanigans||

For @durifmd March 18, Lotte Aquarium

“There’s no way in hell I’m touching that. Ever.” Alyssia’s face is a myriad of expressions caught between horror, absolute disgust, the corners of her lips twisted into a downturn, slightly green at the corners of her lips. “I’ll puke if I touch that.” She groaned, bending down as they watched the wet, slimy form of a sea cucumber, wriggling emphatically in front of their eyes. Goosebumps broke out all across her body just as she shuddered, turning her eyes towards Duri with wide, expressive eyes, clutching his hand for a moment in a plea. 

“Pleas tell me that you can’t do that either. I’m sure they would change--OH MY GOD IT MOVED--” Alyssia shrieked loudly, jumping behind Duri as she nearly jumped out of her skin, fingers digging into his arm for some form of reassurance. “Duri Oppa--” Alyssia pulled a crying face as she curled behind his back. “No more please. I mean, anything--really, anything and not something like that! And did you see it move just now? It wriggled like a worm or shuddered like one, and I can’t stand anything like a worm.” She shuddered all over visibly, hand clapping to her chest as she slowly slid her feet back, shaking her head and squeezing shut her eyes as she rambled in her nerves and fear.

[razorblade-kiss55]

The Aquarium

Hello! This is my first fic on here and I’m no professional writer so please go easy on me! I would love positive feedback and I had this thought pop into my head randomly and decided to write it lol I hope you enjoy! <3

Word count : 2.9k

Disclaimers: drug use, slight language, I think that is all!

Summary- You visit your boyfriend bam margera on the set of jackass 2. You two get the bright idea to eat edibles and go to the aquarium what could go wrong?

You woke up this morning not

expecting anything less than the usual shenanigans. That’s exactly what you got. The past few days especially, had more more insane than usual. Maybe it was because you were on set for a few days, and the guys love to fuck with bam. Or maybe it was the extra excitement of almost wrapping their second movie. Whatever it was you didn’t care, you always gave them a taste of their medicine back.

When you first started dating bam it was strange. The guys would taunt the two of you relentlessly. Especially when you started to prank the guys back. When they’d get bam good that was even more reason to do something diabolical to them. In turn they made fun of bam, suggesting he couldn’t fight his own battles. After months of this playful but aggravating banter the guys realized they liked you and backed off. Only a bit though. Steve-o still always tries to gross you out. He knows you hate vomit so anytime he has to, (which is a lot) he does it right by you. Causing you to curse and slap him, running away like a madwoman.

Today was no different. You had just arrived on set a few hours ago after your plane landed from New York. The vibes were good and the footage they were capturing was even better. We were at a lake and the guys were doing countless launching tricks into the water. Hard hit after hard hit. That’s the life here you have to accept it or you’ll only cause yourself pain too. So that’s what I did accepted it, not without hesitation though. “Hey pooper what are you doing way over here?” You heard a familiar voice from behind. Turning around you aren’t shocked to see your brown eyed friend smug look and all, plastered across his face. You roll your eyes choosing to ignore his ever so lovely nickname. “Ryan” you pull him in for a long embrace relishing in the bear hug he always made sure to give you. It’s the first you’ve seen him since getting here for the next few days, he must’ve just arrived. It hadn’t been long since you visited set but anytime away was too long. “Oh ya know just trying to fully grasp the scene In front of me.”

��You’re terrified you’re gonna hear a bone pop or something aren’t you?

“I’m so scared” you respond almost too quick earning a cackle from ryan. “Extra squeamish today” you shrug laughing along with him little longer than necessary. After catching up for a moment, you two decide to head back down to the group.

“Dunn what did I tell you about trying to steal my girlfriend!” Bam yells as he sees you and ryan walking up together. Followed by the sound of leaves crunching as he runs up and scoops you into a big embrace. “What can I say she’s perty.” Ryan says back in a overly southern drawl

“Shut up Ry” you never called him dunn for some reason.

Bam ignored him fully focused on you now. He finally stopped spinning and set you down but still didn’t let go. “I’m so happy you’re here” he mumbled, unsure if he even meant for you to hear. After a few more kisses scattered across your face you were back to filming. The whole encounter left you feeling warm inside. Bam had just seen you ten minutes prior yet he was still so happy to see you. Even after the six or seven months you had been dating. It never ceased to amaze you have content he could make you feel. You couldn’t help but feel that now surrounded by your best friends, bam, and laughs.

It was nighttime now and we were in our hotel room getting ready for the club. All the guys were going out tonight so you two choose to swing by for a while. You’re dressed in a short black dress simple, with lots of accessories. Lots of necklaces bracelets and of course your rings. Your favorite favorite skull ring placed on your middle finger. Standing at the mirror now putting on your earrings you look up to see bam has his skull ring that matches with yours placed on his middle finger as well. Obviously it was both of yours favorite piece of jewelry. He’s dressed like a dream. His long coat on his shoulders coordinating with your outfit perfectly. “What?” He laughs as he realizes your staring at him from the mirror across the room. Darting your eyes around the room the blood rushes to your cheeks. “Gawking were we?” He asked in a goofy voice as he slowly sways closer. He stops behind you snaking his arms around your waist resting his chin in your shoulder. You both stare at each other for a minute in the mirror admiring one another. “So what if I was?” You whisper, eyes never wavering from his icy blue ones.

“Mm” was his only response for what felt like forever. He was now running his hands up and down your sides slowly swaying with you. “Don’t say that baby” he almost half whined in response “we’ll never make it to the club and I want to show you off.” Before you can ever respond there’s a loud bang followed by ryan’s loud voice seeping through the hotel door.

“Hey fuck faces let’s go or I’m leaving without you!”

The two of you scattered quick to gather your things and head out. He really would leave without you two, and you didn’t want to go without ryan. That’s how it always was when you three were together, inseparable.

The night was nothing short of a blast. When you arrived all the other jackass crew was already there. They all made a commotion, screaming “the three amigos!” As you walked in. Johnny was cackling as usual as you made your rounds hugging all the guys hello. You could tell he was the one who orchestrated the little “chant”. By now it was 1:30 am and you were getting restless and bam could tell. You were the type that could only dance around and drink for so long. He knew that about you and sort of loved it. Like you were always unsatisfied looking for something more exciting to do. He thought is was fascinating and always was up for an adventure. So this time he prepared.

“Babe” he said into your ear as you stood drink in hand swaying to the music. You looked at him smiling, he looked so pretty as the lights flashed across his thinly sweat coated face. He was glowing and you couldn’t help but stare (the alcohol wasn’t helping) you almost forgot he was talking to you. “Babe” he said again grabbing the side of your neck laughing. “Stop staring at me I have a surprise.”

You laughed shaking the unholy thoughts away. “A surprise? For me?” You act all shocked even though it was not unusual for bam to buy random lavish things for you.

He held out his hand two little wrapped gummies in his palm. “Ooo what’s this?” You ask curiously holding it up to the light inspecting it. “Edibles” he almost giggles which cause you to laugh too.

Out of nowhere you gasp having an epiphany of sorts. Looking your eyes connect with your wide eyed boyfriend. “Bam, I just had the best idea let’s go.”

He of course had no hesitation, you said quick goodbyes (not without groans from the guys that wanted you two to stay) you made a quick exit bam’s tattooed hand glued to yours. “Are you gonna to tell me where we’re goin?” He asked his accent present more so now than ever. That always happened when he was drunk. “Nope!” You dragged him along for a few more minutes before stopping again.

“Ok let’s eat them.” He looks at you confused why you stopped him in the middle of the sidewalk on a random street in the middle of the night. “ what here now?” He asks rotating and throwing his hands gesturing to your surroundings.

“Yeah! So they can kick in by the time we get there.” You reply fishing the gummies from his front pocket impatient with his slowness. “Babe, I’m trusting you here don’t get us killed.” He groaned out in his usual dramatic manor.

“Such a drama queen” you smirk at him before popping the gummy in your mouth. Then holding up the second for him to eat placing it gently on his tongue.

After another few minutes of walking you arrive at the destination. “Ta da!” You sing out as your turn him to the building.

“What are we doing at the aquarium?” He asks confused and almost like he’s annoyed but you know he’s not. You had remembered seeing the small aquarium on your way to set from the airport. you guessed you made a mental note to go here because drunk/high you was ecstatic to go in. “Well we’re gonna break in and look at some sharks while we’re high.”

So that’s what you did.

Somehow the security guard was not up to par. The both of you peeked in his office and he was fully invested in some weird foreign film on his little box tv propped in the corner of the room. Containing your laughter at the sight in front of you. You were thankful because the breaking in was fairly easy. You did have to climb on bam’s shoulders to jump over a tall wall but other than that it was easy as pie. For you anyways he struggled at bit, but you got a lot of amusement out of his multiple attempts at leaping up the wall.

Once you got In and got go all your laughs out you then just walked around for god knows how long. It was something you had on your bucket list and you were so thankful you could do it with Bam. You told told him how you knew it was silly but you were so happy that you were there with him. He reassured you a million times over insisting he wouldn’t rather be anywhere else in the world right now. You were now at the last tank in the building the hammerhead sharks.

“My favorite!” You gasp out letting go of bam and running over. You couldn’t help but feel like a little kid. It was your favorite thing to do so long ago and now you were experiencing it in such a different way. It was so simple but felt so magical. He laughed keeping his same slow pace, watching you get so excited made him feel a way he had never felt before. And he wasn’t sure if it was just the gummies.

Finally he caught up to you where you stood mesmerized by the creatures. He snaked his arms around you resting his chin on your shoulder just like earlier in the night. Only this time he held you tighter than ever before. You rested your head on his chest and just watched, stood in a comfortable silence. “This has been one of my favorite nights.” You say turning your attention to his face now, arms still entangled in his. “Thank you.” You whispered

“I love you” was the only thing he said, his voice low and smooth like honey you could listen to him say that all day. “I love you too” you wanted to say more but that was all that could express your feelings for now. He ran one hand up to the back of your neck pulling you in. Placing his lips on yours in the most loving and sensual way, when you two were high together it always got heated. But now just felt like comfort and warmth and just love. “I think the Aquarium is my new favorite place.” He whispered

“Hey! Hey you two!” A deep male voice yelled behind a bright flashlight. You two immediately turned back to see the once distracted security guard running towards you two. Looking back and locking eyes immediately you realize. “Oh shit” you said simultaneously grabbing each other’s hand bolting it for the nearest exit.

[rainy-day-coffee]

Hey Indigo-chan! Having a good day? I hope so!

How would Jade and Floyd(separate) deal with s/o chaotic? Like, they got a crazy idea that could put they 2 in danger, but they just accept because "it's fun"

I’m having a great day anon, thank you for asking! I hope it’s been going well for you too!

Honestly, I love writing for the tweels! Though, I think I could have written more for them in this post. Maybe I’ll make a thrilling sequel one of these days if more inspiration hits! But, I hope you enjoy this for now!

A chaotic s/o!

He’s an enabler. He lets you do practically everything you want. He even gives you recommendations and tips!

So long as it doesn’t interfere with business at Mostro Lounge, he’ll gladly watch you commit a wide variety of shenanigans! He lives for entertainment, and you’re an endless stream of it! A match made in heaven!

Will join you every once in a while, he’s more of an observer than an active participant!

You may have a couple of students annoyed with your behavior, but worry not! They won’t say or do anything lest they want a devious eel and his brother hunting them down.

Having lived with Floyd his entire life, he’s well used to chaos. He knows when a scheme of yours will be too much for your body and mind to handle. He has a way with words, he’ll steer your mind from a dangerous idea onto one that is less so. 

For example, flying a broom through the hallways is sure to get you into detention and perhaps smack through an enchanted painting. How about you try playing with the fishes in Mostro Lounge’s aquarium instead?

And then there were two.

There is absolutely nothing that can stop you two from committing various acts of lunacy!

He has no sense of danger either. If anything, he will do everything wild you suggest and then suggest something even more dangerous, within reason of course. He’s well aware of the limits your body has. Jade doesn’t need to tell him that bungee jumping off of NCR’s main building is not something your body can take. Bungee jumping off a bridge can be just as fun though!

He loves causing mayhem with you and has absolutely no remorse for Azul, or anyone else for that matter. He’s having fun and so is his s/o, that’s what’s important! He’s caused trouble in the past anyways, stirring up some more is no problem, right?

Students are terrified of Floyd, they will never try and stop you from doing anything.

He loves taking you everywhere, even the most boring of places seem to be fun with you around! Just be sure to be patient with him, he may not feel up to it all the time!

[honey-dewey]

How each of the boys deals with beach/ocean shenanigans

Because my life goal is to be a marine biologist and my only place of true peace is the ocean and limiting me to 100 words is fucking cruel. So I just wrote until I felt done. Not 100 words each, obviously, but entertaining nonetheless. 

Permanent Taglist: @phoenixhalliwell @star-wars-hell

Din Djarin: 

Okay so did anyone else see how Din dove in The Heiress? Because that was beautiful. He probably learned to swim late, after he joined the Covert, but once they put him in a pool, he refused to get out. He's an amazing swimmer, even with all that beskar on. 

But we aren’t here to talk about that. We’re here to talk about what happens when you beg him to take you to a water planet because goddammit you’ve been on nothing but dry desert planets or dry ice planets or dry city planets for the longest time now and if you don’t get to put your feet in the water soon, you might kill him. 

He doesn’t understand the appeal. Sure he’s seen the ocean. Woo-hoo it’s a bunch of water. But the way you go peaceful with wonder when you mention it, he’s ready to take a break too. And hey, maybe Grogu can finally see the ocean. So he finds an ocean planet and sets course. And because he’s a stubborn bastard, he won’t tell you where you’re going. 

When you step off the Crest and immediately find nothing but slowly crashing waves and soft shell studded sand (that is black as obsidian because remember, we’re not on earth) you almost cry. Stripping out of your shoes and rolling your pants up to your upper thighs, you wade out into the water, completely ignoring Din’s warning to be careful, he doesn’t know what’s in the water. 

You don’t know how long you stand there, the water licking at your thighs, the soft drag of the waves rolling over and over, the way your feet slowly sink into the blackness of the sand, grounding you to this one spot, this one moment. Eventually, you find that you have a companion. 

Din’s not a wide ocean kind of guy, but for you, he’ll take the armor off (but not the helmet) and come stand beside you, his pants rolled up as well. His are tighter, so the rough edge gets slowly soaked in water, but he doesn’t mind. 

Half an hour of mindless and relaxing standing around in the water later, and you’re ready to explore. Scooping Grogu up and putting him in a baby carrier across your chest, you begin to look for suitable shells to keep aboard the Crest. Again, Din is confused, but doesn’t question it as you walk up and down the same stretch of sand, occasionally bending down and happily pulling a gorgeous shell from the clutches of the water. He wouldn’t be at peace here if he was alone, but you sure as hell would be. Still standing in the water, listening to you babble back and forth with Grogu, the waves occasionally kissing his hands, he thinks that maybe, just maybe, he could find peace in your peace. 

Marcus Moreno:

Marcus is not an ocean person, but he’s not not an ocean person, y’know? Sand irritates him, the air smells funny, and it’s usually loud. But he likes the water. If it could be a quiet pool it would be better, but the ocean works too. 

And then he’s put on a boat with you, a still-learning water Heroic (think like. Aquaman), and things change. 

At first, he hates it. A boat that’s tipping constantly may be your thing, considering how much you look like you belong, but it sure as shit ain’t his. You try to teach him some stuff, shouting over the crashing of the waves, but he’s trying too hard not to throw up to really pay attention. 

Then everything settles. The water stops tipping, the boat is still, and you quietly tell him there’s a pod of humpbacks outside. 

He’s terrified when you jump into the water, no oxygen or gear or anything. It’s only when he remembers you can breathe underwater that he stops losing his mind. And when the whales start to breach? Yeah he’s gone. He’s all smiling and laughing when you breach right alongside the whales, and when you get back on board the boat, he’s so incredibly excited. 

So next time, you tell him you’re right above one of the biggest groups of migrating hammerhead sharks ever. He reacts less kindly to that one, even when you dive and tell him it’s perfectly safe. They won’t hurt you. But looking down to see you surrounded by hundreds of great hammerheads, just swimming lazily beside you? Yeah that’s surreal as fuck. 

Max Phillips: 

Ah yes. The resident vampire who hasn’t been to a beach in almost a decade. He can’t go out in the sun, what makes y’all think he’d actually enjoy the beach? Nope, he is not risking his life so he can feel some sand. 

But the beach during the day is completely different from the beach at night, and you are determined to prove it. You blindfold Max, at the expense of many dirty jokes, and drive him to the beach. 

He can smell it before you can, the salt in the air that drifts through the windows and promises all will be right with the world. Then you guys hear it, the soft crash of waves on the shore, the gentle buzz to the air. Finally, you stand Max on the empty beach and remove the blindfold and he can see it. Night darkened waves, the shifting water turning the full moon into a shattered mosaic of light glimmering on the waves. 

For the first time in a long time, he lets himself drown in sensation, in tranquility. It’s been ten long years since he forgot he wasn’t a human being anymore, but with the water licking at his bare feet, he’s completely unaware of his deadness. All he can feel is sand and water and salt and you, holding his hand and looking out with him. 

He’s determined to stay there all night, but you insist on walking, occasionally bending down to grab a shell you see in the darkness. Max is definitely at an advantage here with his night vision, but that’s nothing a flashlight can’t solve. By the time the sun begins to peer over the horizon, you and Max are fast asleep in bed, a small jar of sea shells on your bedside table. 

Frankie ‘Catfish’ Morales: 

When I tell you I was excited to write Frankie, oh boy. See, I headcanon him to be like me. Enamored with the ocean since before he can remember. It’s always, always, made him wide eyed with wonder. Aquariums are his safe space, and his favorite animal, above every other living thing on the planet, is sharks. 

He finds peace in knowing they exist, seeing something so powerful be so docile. You’re a marine biologist, and you end up taking him on a caged shark dive. He’s ecstatic, practically vibrating as you take the boat way out where you’re bound to find something good. 

And you do. Everyone else on your team, along with Frankie, is cage diving, but you’re just out there, swimming freely alongside huge Great Whites. They’re so beautiful, and Frankie nearly cries when you coax said shark to the side of the cage so he can run his hand over the shark’s wide belly.

His next dive is a general reef dive, just you and him. Beaches aren’t his thing, there’s too little activity, so you take him out on a reef. He’s smiling the entire time, swimming alongside fish the size of his arm and manta rays with a wingspan bigger than his. But the best part is the reef sharks. Black Tips, no longer than four or five feet. They crowd Frankie and make him laugh as he actually pets their bellies. Suddenly, he’s surrounded by sharks who all want the same thing. Scritches. 

His third dive is open ocean, and you don’t tell him what you’re diving with. He gets in the water, turns around, and immediately starts to cry tears of joy. His favorite shark, his absolute favorite, is swimming lazily behind him. The Whale Shark. It’ll be hell to get him out of the water later, but in that moment, you want nothing more than to see that smile, wide enough to show off his dimple. 

Jack ‘Whiskey’ Daniels:

Jack Daniels is not an ocean person by any means. He’s an open fields kind of man, where he can look up at the Montana night sky and feel like he’s two inches tall, surrounded by mountains and plains. But his latest mission with you takes him to Hawaii, and he ain’t mad about it. 

The first few days, you spend hours on the beach alone. Jack stays indoors, not able to be persuaded out with you. Finally, he’s forced to go to the beach with you because of the mission, and he complains all morning long. You simply roll your eyes and put on your bathing suit and floppy hat. 

Beach time lasts much longer than anticipated. The target won’t be there for a while, but you wanted to relax before working, so you settle in a beach chair with a nice book and get to reading while Jack grumbles about sand in his shoes. 

BUT, dear reader I would be cruel if I made Jack unhappy, so while he may not be a beach person, he is very much a you person. Once you stand to go shelling, wrapped in that teasing black and white swimsuit and flowy white cover up, he’s by your side with minimal complaints. 

Turns out, Jack Daniels’s whip quick reflexes are good for grabbing shells before they’re stolen by the water. You and him get an impressive collection going, eyeing your target the entire time. By the time you have your intel, Jack’s actually enjoying himself and almost doesn’t want to leave. 

The next morning, he’s red as a tomato from sunburn and vows to never go to the beach again. You laugh, and you and him spend the day indoors, sorting through your shell collection and rubbing aloe on Jack’s red shoulders. (Yeah he’s going shirtless all day. You ain’t mad about it.)

Ezra: 

It’s a headcanon of mine, and I’ve mentioned it before, that Ezra grew up an orphan. He lived in a state house until he was 18, which is when he began to prospect. He’s been all over the galaxy, but never been to a water planet. Long story short, he’s never seen a beach. Or an ocean. Or anything bigger than a small pond. 

After the Green, you decide to spoil him and take him and Cee to an ocean planet for some time off. He has no idea where you’re going, but he’s excited nonetheless. 

The planet is almost 90% water, with vast underground caves and beautiful beaches. You land on one of those beaches and when Ezra steps out of your transport pod, he immediately starts to cry. 

Cee’s seen an ocean before, but it’s been a while, so she immediately rushes past Ezra and jumps into the water. Watching her splash around in the gently crashing waves is like bliss, and it makes you smile. 

But Ezra, oh boy Ezra. He’s transfixed, standing with the water lapping at his ankles and his face slack as he takes in the vastness of it all. Eventually, you convince him into the water. He can’t swim, so you guide him out to a safe depth and hold his hand tight as he floats on his back. He’s so calm, so at ease that it’s almost scary. 

That night, he doesn’t want to go inside. The setting sun makes the ocean orange, and you finally manage to get him in. You pop a window open to allow the salty air into the pod, lulling you to sleep and putting Ezra at ease. 

Shane ‘Dio’ Morrissey: 

Dio will literally never admit he loves the beach. Never. He’s a bad boy! He can’t love anything! 

Except for sea turtles. He really fucking loves sea turtles. He can name all seven species by heart, he’s got a beautiful teal blue bracelet that he wears all the time that has a turtle bead and he got when he ‘adopted’ a green turtle, he has two turtle tattoos, and he’s absolutely a huge turtle geek whenever you take him to the aquarium.

Which is how you learn he’s that in love with turtles. You take him to an aquarium on a date, and he sits in front of the turtle tank for almost an hour. It’s actually kinda cute. 

So you take him to the beach, a beautiful beach with not many people and, according to the locals, is a turtle nesting site. You and Dio mess around for a while, until the night falls and you sit him in the back of your truck. He’s almost mad you won’t let him leave, at least, right up until the turtles come out. 

He’s a kid in a candy store, all lit up and giddy as the turtles come out to lay their eggs. It’s a dream for him, and when one of the locals asks if you two want to say hi to the turtles, he’s up immediately. 

Two months later, you and Dio return to the same beach, eager to help the baby turtles into the water. Yet again, the outer hard boy shell falls away, leaving you with the soft and giggly Dio that you adore. 

From that day on, your phone background is a photo of Dio holding one of the baby turtles, a warm and genuine grin on his face. 

Javier Peña: 

What makes you think Javier has time to go to the beach? He hasn’t been in literal years, ever since he headed to Columbia. 

But, when he’s home? You manage to get him some time off and take him out to the gulf for a few days. It’s crowded, sure, and that sets his anxiety off big time, but he’s in Texas, not Columbia, and you’re by his side the entire time. 

You manage to find a nice spot away from people to relax on, laying in the sand for hours. No stress, no mess, no looming threat of death, no nothing. 

In the evening, once most of the people go away, you and Javier start to walk along the shore, holding your shoes and each other’s hands. Javier picks up a beautiful multicolored shell, all dappled with beiges and whites and hints of purple. It’s gorgeous, and you immediately slip it onto a necklace you were wearing. 

You manage to one up Javier when you find a brown shell. On the surface, it’s not much. But under the setting sun, it’s beautiful, streaked through with lighter browns and shining ambers. You hand it to Javier, and he immediately tells you it’s boring. At which you tell him it reminds you of his eyes, a deceptively simple brown at first, and then a mesmerizing whiskey amber once you study them. 

Yeah, he tears up at that. 

Maxwell Lord: 

Yet another man who is not a beach person. He hates sand so much he’ll forgo the entire beach experience, because as we all know, he a drama queen. However, unlike Jack, Maxwell is loud about his dislike of the beach. 

Finally, he gets dragged out for a business opportunity and has to spend almost four whole days at the beach. You best be ready for the entire month leading up to the trip to be a whole bunch of complaining. The plane ride out is blissfully quiet, and when he sees the beach, he’s no longer completely insufferable. 

However, you quickly learn that while your dear Max is not a beach person, he likes the ocean. He’s all for getting on a boat and spending the day on the water. Which is exactly what you two do. He’s sensitive to the sun, but he’ll sit in it with you if you want. 

Eventually, you convince him to get in the water. You expected him to be a decent swimmer, not great but not horrible. But then he jumps into the ocean with no life vest and you’re freaking the hell out until you watch his form. He’s a damn natural. And he’s so happy it’s almost scary. He’s in the water for almost an hour, and when he comes out, it’s only for a quick snack. 

That night, you two sit on the beach, much to Max’s complaining. But he’s beside you and his hair is still stiff from the saltwater, so he’s happy, despite the whining.

[waveridden]

JAMIE have you ever considered a modern AU for blaseball because I would love to hear your thoughts on one

cola... have i told you lately that i love you

i know i’ve talked a little about various modern aus however tonight i am thinking about the marijuana family so i present to you:

HIGH ON LIFE: a marijuana family sitcom (name subject to change) (many thanks to @leonstamatis because some of this comes from conversations with them. mostly the jokes.)

here is the setup for this mini universe that lives in my head

dom (23) is the pseudo parent to randy (19) and lenny (14 but she’s almost 15 guys she’s basically an adult) and the three of them have lived in new york city their entire lives but dom gets a job offer that’s too good to pass up... in denver*. so the entire family has to pack up and move to denver.

( * i would do somewhere in utah, bc hellmouth, but i have to be honest. i’ve known several people from utah and all of them have been just like... horrible to be around. so this is a personal bias thing. colorado’s better anyways.)

so our family is in denver now! denver is a major city ofc but it’s still a MAJOR change from new york so that is our inciting sitcom incident. Uh Oh What Kind Of Wackiness Will Our Protagonists Get Up To!

dom works at a warehouse, he’s a shift lead or something like that, and it’s his first ever full time job (as opposed to stringing together three part-time jobs). it’s supposed to be a great job and he fucking hates it but the pay is better than anything in new york and it’s better for the family if he’s here so, well, he’s here

andrew solis is a local union rep who dom gets in touch with because his job sucks and they have a lot of clandestine meetings about union stuff that turn into non clandestine meetings because they enjoy spending time together that turn into a nice normal committed relationship

andrew gets along really well with randy. he’s a nice kid, if a little much sometimes. it’s fine.

andrew is terrified of lenny

you know that john mulaney bit about how a group of thirteen year olds can sense your insecurities? lenny is an entire group of thirteen year olds on her own. she is mean and powerful and andrew is afraid of that.

obviously a lot of dom’s friends (ie the mills) are back in new york but he calls them CONSTANTLY. like, once a day. they are very loud and they love him and they miss him and are so proud of him for helping his job unionize and shit like that. they can’t visit in person often but every now and again they do.

randy gets a job at a local theatre company, which is the last thing he expected to be doing but it’s kind of... awesome? everyone here is super chill and funny and loud and he gets along with them great.

this is the jazz hands. i know they’re in breckenridge. this is my au. they’re in denver today.

his immediate best friend is layna, who does bit parts in musicals and more importantly writes a lot of weird experimental short plays that the theatre produces. she’s a couple years older than him and is far too cool and pretty for him. she tells him this every day and he agrees. she works at a zoo/botanical garden and lenny is constantly hounding her for free zoo passes and stuff (layna agrees because she adores lenny and also it’s an excuse for randy to visit her)

is the botanical garden an excuse to have the flowers players here? yes. geography is less powerful than I Want Everyone In The Same Place

randy’s OTHER best friends are nagomi (community college student/works in the aquarium part of the zoo) and emmett (computer science student at a four-year). most of the time the three of them just chill out and get high and do dumb 19-year-old shit together they’re just three chill friends

do not leave nagomi and lenny in a room together. don’t do it.

lenny isn’t allowed in costco anymore. this is nagomi’s fault

one time randy leaves both emmett and nagomi to watch lenny because surely emmett will prevent any shenanigans. when he comes back nagomi and lenny have stolen three street signs. emmett allowed this to happen because lenny and nagomi specificall stole a sign that said “emmett drive” and they can’t drive and they think it’s funny. so emmett is ALSO not allowed to watch lenny/nagomi

(emmett’s fine watching lenny on their own, it’s just that nagomi “fuck around and find out” nava is too powerful to be overridden)

occasionally nagomi’s twin sibling margarito also hangs out with her randy and emmett. when margo/randy are together they’re A Force To Be Reckoned With. they’re chaotic and easy to manipulate so nagomi can convince them to do some wild shit together. it rules.

lenny loves margo. xe’s never allowed to know this. but she adores xem.

meanwhile lenny is experiencing the worst thing that a teenager can experience: moving during high school. she is doing her absolute goddamn best to fit into the social scene here but it’s so different from new york and she doesn’t know how to handle it

her first friend is kiki familia because i just think fourteen year old girls should stick together and because i think lenny is not above very loudly very rudely making sure that kiki gets all the accommodations she needs

andrew visits one day and lenny is practicing asl in front of a mirror and he’s like oh do you want a conversation partner? because he knows enough to hold a conversation. this is how lenny and andrew form an actual relationship

(andrew is also fluent in spanish and he helps her with spanish homework but she resents this because she thinks it’s nerdy. at least with asl it’s for a good reason.)

and then a couple months later another new student shows up and she is having the opposite experience from lenny because she lived in wyoming for a really long time which is... not a big city... and denver is comparatively HUGE and she’s just really overwhelmed? and lenny is like. oh i can show you around! for sure! definitely! new students have to stick together!

kiki, suspiciously: you’re not new anymore

lenny, very non-subtly: kiki shut the fuck up

this new student is chorby and she gets along great with both kiki (i’m not sure what the analog for magical girl is in a modern au but like it’s something and they bond over it) and lenny, who immediately has a massive big huge crush on her

kiki knows this. kiki mocks this relentlessly.

lenny makes it super super clear that kiki is never going to be the third wheel and kiki’s like yes i am and that’s fine

dom and randy both absolutely adore chorby. she’s so polite. lenny knows that chorby can curse like a sailor and has very specific opinions about screamo bands but when she meets lenny’s brothers she is a saint and lenny is like... swooning over it

and like lenny/chorby are teenagers which means sometimes they get into fights over dumb things and sometimes they get into fights over serious things but they always work it out in the end

there’s definitely a whole Thing because chorby goes to the sadie hawkins dance with juice collins and lenny is like. what the fuck.

is juice a teen? she is in the jamie cassidy extended blaseball teen universe. at least for today

anyways you might notice that there is not a lot of plot here. that’s because this is a sitcom and it is really just a very long setup for me to think about various ideas happening in (i.e. lenny trying to intimidate andrew for absolutely no reason, randy/nagomi/emmett shenanigans) it’s genuinely just like. a fun little world for me to play in when i need it.

the MOST IMPORTANT PART of this au is the family tho. cannot stress this enough, dom and randy and lenny all have family time constantly. they love each other so much. and that family expands to include andrew, and chorby, and emmett and nagomi and kiki and layna, but at its heart This Is A Sibling Story and i love them. the end

[perlukafarinn]

AU where single dad Dean nervously tells his teenage daughter Emma that he’s gonna start dating again. He’s been pretty much single since she came along, only indulging in the occasional one-night stand but he’s getting older and lonelier and he figures it’s now or never. He’s just not sure how Emma’s gonna react.

She’s fine with it, though she tells him she’s not gonna call any of his girlfriends ‘mom’ (“It might not be a girlfriend,” Dean mutters, like coming out to his teenage daughter isn’t one of the most terrifying moments of his life. “I’m not gonna call anyone but you dad, either,” Emma responds without missing a beat.)

A couple of months later, Dean figures he never should have bothered letting Emma know because he’s never made it past a second date, he sucks at this and oh god he’s gonna die alone. While his dates with women are run-of-the-mill bad, mostly just boring, his dates with men have all been disaster because it turns out Dean is a douchebag-magnet and he has terrible taste in men.

He tries to keep it all away from Emma but she snoops because, duh, who else is gonna watch out for her dad since he’s keeping uncle Sam out of the loop? And she agrees, her dad’s taste in men is truly terrible, but she’s not sure what she can do to help since it’s not like she’s got an abundance of single gay middle-aged men on speed dial. 

She tries asking her dad’s best friend Castiel about how to help him out with this but Cas just gets this funny look on his face and says they should both stay out of Dean’s dating life. This pings something for Emma and she confirms it later that day by texting Claire, Cas’ niece, who casually confirms that obviously Cas has been in love with Dean for years.

The more Emma thinks about it, the more she starts thinking that Cas is actually perfect for her dad. Cue a series of shenanigans where Emma and Claire, swept up in the sitcom-ness of it all, do their best to push an unsuspecting Dean and Cas together. 

Is it weird for a teenage girl to be this involved in her dad’s love life? Well, someone has to take the reigns since Dean has been doing such a lousy job of it. How far will they go to get their plan to succeed? Let’s just say the line is not drawn at stealing Dean’s phone to cancel his dates or breaking and entering a local Aquarium. Will Emma be grounded when her dad finds out what she’s been up to? Probably. But will it all work and will Dean and Cas finally find the happy ending they deserve with each other?

Obviously.

[benoitblanc]

arwen!!! what are you writing about!!!! what's the last book that you read and how would you rate it!!!! what's your favorite literary device!!!!! what's a word you think people should use more often!!!! which do you miss the most: libraries, museums, aquariums, or movie theaters!!!!

jamie!!! i talked a little bit about what i’m writing about here but i’m going to talk about my characters in the crime drama below the cut because i love them! last book i read was my fourth or fifth reread of soc and i would rate it 11/10 stars! favorite literary device is when a character says “i am not doing that and that is FINAL” and then it smash-cuts to them doing the thing! i think “shenanigans” should be applied to every context! and i miss all four of those places SO MUCH but every day i’m not in my library i die a little inside so i’d have to go with libraries!

read on for more info about my emotional support criminals... no, not the crows... not leverage consulting either... XD

come chat!!!

so as i said in the ask linked above, the premise of my project involves a gang of petty criminals who are quite a bit like the leverage peeps except they actually commit crimes instead of acting robin hood. also like leverage, there’s five of them:

lily spence is the “mastermind” role. born into british aristocracy, she was disowned by her extremely traditional family when they found out she had a girlfriend. only seventeen, she fled to france to stay with her brother (more on him later...) but by a series of unfortunate events ended up on the parisian streets instead until she was taken in by karim (also more on him later), and they formed an alliance of criming (which is now a word.) lily is very very smart and ruthless and also a total nerd. if an episode of doctor who is airing, she will not run a con because she is absolutely insistent on watching it. also, there’s a running gag of how she, as a stereotypical bisexual, cannot sit on chairs properly

karim ayari is the “retrieval specialist/hitter” role. he has the least fleshed-out backstory of the gang right now but long story short, he’s dutch-tunisian and ended up in paris, where he met and teamed up with lily. he’s the most level-headed member of the group and often has to bail the others out of trouble, sometimes with the help of van houden (more on her later...). he’s also just extremely kind despite the violent nature of his work. because he obviously knows how to beat people up, he spends his free time teaching self-defense to homeless youth and women. i love him

yvette laroche is the “grifter” role. she’s a black trans lesbian and the only member of the group who’s actually parisian. she’s also the only member of the group with a loving family to return to (kind of... more on mickey spence later...)- i wanted to show with yvette that while families can be awful about their kids being queer like lily’s parents, they can also be loving and supportive and try their best. she worked as a saleswoman for a time before realizing that her persuasive skills were a lot more lucrative when applied to crime, and she joined lily and karim. yvette is the most traditionally “good” member of the team, as she’s very passionate about social justice and will sometimes put the con at risk to help people in need

adrian valenti is the “thief” role. he also probably has the most tragic backstory, which is saying something. he grew up on the streets of manhattan, which is where he learned how to be a very good thief. he also became addicted to heroin. adrian’s been clean now for several years but still struggles talking about his time in new york. he’s extremely sarcastic but cares deeply about the people he loves. he thinks lily is the worst person he’s ever met. he’s desperately in love with her

finally, julia ono is the “hacker” role. the most recent addition to the team, she’s globally notorious in the crime and criminal justice worlds for her technical ability. though she’s australian, interpol was able to nab her when she travelled to paris for a job. when the team heard she was in the city, they broke her out of jail on the condition she work with them. julia and adrian have the same sassy sense of humor, which is why they became best friends. she’s also fashionable and unapologetic, though she struggles to overcome internalized stereotypes, and a lesbian who’s got a massive crush on yvette

in terms of the other main characters, mickey spence is lily’s older brother. unlike their parents, he loves his sister very much, but as a respectable businessman operating out of marseille, he’s a bit concerned about what she and her friends are doing. that being said, he’s very fond of them all

agent marya van houden is a dutch interpol officer who’s simultaneously very good and very bad at her job. which is a good thing. she’s an old friend of karim’s and will occasionally help the team out of trouble (which is the bad-at-her-job part), especially when they start running into serious danger with the mob

finally, elise archambault is the head of the archambault family crime syndicate. she’s absolutely goddamn terrifying in that she’s cunning and completely merciless and still extremely feminine. again, my dream cast for her is melanie laurent. do with that what you will XD

[rahleeyah]

Rahleeyah’s 2019 Year in Review/Fic Roundup

All posts can be found here. 

April

What I was writing:

1. RDO: I had promised @andallthatmerrymishigas that I would write “Nick plays rugby and gets real sweaty and his thighs look good and Jen is Shook” for Christmas, but I was terribly remiss, and did not actually manage to get it done until her birthday. 

2. Second Chances: Nick and Jen share a few very Important Moments! Jen is tortured over whether or not to tell him the truth about Charlie! The decision is taken out of her hands and Nick finds out he’s a dad! This was so much fun for me to write, I can’t even say. I had this reveal in mind all along, Nick seeing Charlie and realizing 1) hey he’s not a cat 2) omg Jen is a mum 3) wait how old is this kid 4) holy shit. If ever there was a man who’d make a good dad it’s Nick Buchanan, and he’s such a Good, I think we all know if he found out he had a child nothing could stop him from being there for his boy in every way.

3. Intimates: I started this little story in April. I had been reblogging pictures of beautiful lingerie I would love to see Jean in for ages, and some anon (who is still anonymous??? who are you???) seemed to particularly enjoy them, and asked if I was ever going to write a fic about Jean in lingerie. Me being me, I couldn’t just write a filthy one-shot; I decided to use Jean’s underthings as a means of exploring her character, and honestly I really love this story. Plus, we all saw Lucien in the garden with some knickers fluttering on the line, it only seemed right that I torture him with some truly lovely pieces.

4. Loneliness: I wrote Chapter 11 in April. This is the big one, the one takes place immediately after Mei Lin leaves. That kiss is so beautiful, and so fraught with meaning, but this being Loneliness I couldn’t leave it at just a kiss. What I particularly like about this chapter is that it focuses on Jean making a choice, choosing Lucien, claiming him for her own. She had to know, even then, that the church would not bless her marriage, but she kissed him, and accepted him, and so I wanted to delve into her thought process a bit. 

What else was happening:

Along with two lovely ladies I went to Riverrun and saw Celeste, which was beautiful. I got bit by a dog (on the neck!!! Fucking terrifying!!!!). I moved into a beautiful new apartment (and shenanigans ensued). The whole family spent a few days at my brother’s house, and we took the kids to the zoo, and my father bought me a  stuffed narwhal bc I may be almost 30 but I am not too old to a) love stuffed animals and b) get presents from my dad. Fun fact, when I was much younger my father took me to an aquarium (my parents were very conscious of how much time they were devoting to each kid, and wanted to be sure we all got to do fun things with them separately and together) and he bought me a huge stuffed seahorse then. So I guess some things never change. 

[mythical-song-wolf]

Sugar Sugar Rune Remake/Reboot

Credits to two friends on the Kim Server for helping me construct this as well as give me moral support!

One, things from the anime mix into this plus the things from the manga.

Two, pacing is a bit slower with more ‘filler’ instead of arc after arc after arc in rapid fire succession.

Three, expand on certain characters more, foreshadow more things, etc.

Four, modernize certain concepts to better fit the current times, have some boys be in Pierre’s fan club. Have Chocolat & Vanilla take hearts from their female classmates as well.

Now in no order I will be listing some more ‘minor’ crap I guess

Duke’s relations and backstory is heavily hinted at but never clear, is he Vanilla’s dad? Chocolat’s dad? Houx & Saule’s eccentric uncle?

Houx & Vanilla’s relationship is something that’s more hinted at

Waffle (anime only kid) comes back but is... revised, I suppose

She acts as a mini-catalyst to Houx X Vanilla. Personality wise, she’s spoiled and bratty but doesn’t understand certain social cues due to her rich statues and lack of friends, almost a ‘What if’ of Vanilla if she didn’t have Chocolat

Her interactions with Houx are more than the one-off, so her infatuation with him is a bit more... expanded? I guess

She’s also gonna be around Chocolat & Vanilla’s age, either younger than them by a year or born on the same year just really late into it

Waffle’s Nanny is a Pseudo bodyguard and someone to keep her in line when she goes too far

Some of Pierre’s fan club Members, surprisingly, don’t have a Noir in them because they know better than to let hatred, anger, and jealousy get the better of them

Duke & Blanca get more focus, especially Duke

Houx & Saule get more focus because please give them something

Also an episode of what the ever loving fuck Robin was doing when the girls were in danger

An episode of Pierre’s familiar, maybe the cat and Duke share a subtle glance and nod?

More filler after certain big events because I need to know how everyone’s coping instead of them immediately being yeeted into danger again

Some angst over Chocolat when she collects Noir to try and drive off Orges or smth

Mages & their familiars bonding

Captain Glacier stays longer and potentially trains Houx & Saule or even Vanilla and Chocolat (maybe Vanilla learns some water/ice magic while Chocolat learns fire magic?)

He either stays with the kids or with Robin, if he stays with the former he’s the Adult Supervision during some Shenanigans

More world building

Filler that’s canon compliant, develops the characters, and/or expands the world

Episode Plot on Saule

Since Saule doesn’t have any subplots attached to just him (meaning Houx isn’t involved), I gave him one

Basically when they both get over their crushes on Chocolat, Saule starts to fall for a human

He’s slowly been falling for them in the background of many of the episodes, with some subtle points where we briefly see this Mystery Love Interest

By the time they realize, Saule’s heart is already so pink and getting redder by the day

This smacks Houx, Vanilla, and Chocolat in the face with what would happen to Saule if his heart turns red

It makes them realize how cruel and unfair it is to punish someone for falling in love

Chocolat is rightfully furious over it, Vanilla is concerned and terrified for her friend, and Houx is right dab in the middle, furious over this unjust system and deeply worried for his brother

Blanca watches on, being reminded of her own downfall when she wished to give her heart to a human. Duke doesn’t know what to do except comfort her, because she’s the only one he can really help right now

This can end two ways

One, it’s played off for laughs at the end and the person turns out to not be interested but wants to stay friends

Two, Saule risks it all and plans to ask them out, but someone beats them right to the punch (assuming he had a chance to begin with)

If it’s the latter, Saule’s near red heart quickly turns a deep black

Naturally the dark heart is resolved before any Orge can get it but it still frightens the kids because they didn’t know Witches could get natural Noir

If Robin, Waffle, or Glacier are present, they two guards don’t doubt the rules until they see the girls immediately want against it, Waffle is with the girls, concerned and furious

Other things

Chocolat’s grandpa comes over more often, there’s a point where he and Duke lock eyes and Corne briefly suspects something before Robin snatches Duke so they both leave (Robin knows that Duke also doesn’t like being around Corne and tbh he doesn’t need a reason it’s just that it’s Corne)

The point in time where Chocolat think she and Pierre are siblings is longer and she finds out they aren’t just before she would’ve been fully over her love for him

Either she figures it out with Pierre or Poivre tells her

When Poivre is revealed and tells her the truth in small doses (as to not shock them all so much that they all have some kinda crisis)

Also after Poivre is introduced, shenanigans

He and Chocolat interacting and both get a lot of hearts from the woman and men that go ‘awww look at him with his niece!’ and boys and girls being like ‘they’re so cute!’

He escorts the kids to school and he gets some hearts from some people

Oh yeah, the heart system and a bunch of other basic things get introduced at the start of every episode

The description of Noir starts vague but as episodes go by the definition becomes clearer, same with White Hearts

The start of the series is relatively slowish

Introduces the magic world, the hearts system, our MCs in the first few episodes

Introduces Duke & Blanca, expands on the magic

Introduces Houx & Saule, expands on the magic and current state of the Magic World

Pierre

Pierre hints to being an Orge are subtle, so subtle that it’s just a throw away idea to the kids until the Aquarium date happens

After that, they notice all the Noir he’s fostering in the Members

The Members also expand their ranks after that

Human world things

Robin educates the kids on certain holidays coming up so they don’t attract attention for not knowing something like Valentines

On some occasions, Duke puts in his own two cents

Later, depending on when in the timeline it happens, Poivre gives them descriptions in greater detail

Character relationships

Chocolat & Pierre

The two spend more time together before it’s revealed that he’s an Orge

Something just clicks when they meet at school

Chocolat feels like she knows him, something about him reminds her of the Magic World

The more time they spend together, the more she notices how he smells like the rain back home, how his hands are always so cold, how something about him just feels familiar. She feels like she can trust him, but doesn’t understand why

Pierre, we get his view of this later on, feels like he knows her, something about her reminds him of something, like a memory of something that doesn’t exist, something before his time with the Orges

The moment he meets the girls, he knows they’re from the Magic World, but that doesn’t explain to him why he gravitates to Chocolat. When Vanilla, the Queen’s daughter, is much easier to exploit than the stubborn Chocolat

His heart- his original heart0 reacted so strongly during their first meeting that he’s surprised he didn’t double over or much less flinch back at the sudden pain

He thought maybe spending time around Chocolat would let him get used to the sight of her without his two hearts clashing

Chocolat & Vanilla

They’re like family to each other, as close as cousins, since Vanilla was confided to be the Queen’s daughter while Chocolat was a free and normal child

Chocolat was free to have friends and have a childhood

Vanilla was restricted by her statues as the Queen’s daughter and her childhood was filled with lessons on top of lessons on top of lessons, with her only friend being Chocolat

Vanilla envy’s Chocolat’s freedom and bravery, as well as her social nature

Chocolat envy’s the fact that Vanilla still has her mother with her, as well as her kind heart and gentle ways, as well as her skills

The two wish they were more like the other

After Vanilla’s Noir is removed, they understand each other better

They talk about how they envied the other yet admired them too

They’re best friends, no matter who becomes Queen or whatever comes their way

Houx & Saule and Vanilla & Chocolat

Houx and Saule had brief but professional interactions with Vanilla prior to the start of the Queen Candidate competition

But the two still gravitate more to Chocolat because Chocolat is friends with a lot of people

The boys’ favouritism clearly leaned towards Chocolat, yet they also treated Vanilla with more care and focus her safety more

But as challenges and trials come their way, the boys start to protect both of them with the same ferocity

After sometimes, their crushes on Chocolat die down, Saule was never going to fall fully anyway, it was Houx that was too close to the edge of falling for someone who’s heart belongs to another

Saule has always been ready to move on but he was waiting for his brother to as well, because he’s not leaving him behinds

[calliecat93]

Since I can't go to RTX and they aren’t streaming it this year but I wanted to do a masterpost of something RvB related, I decided to write a wrap-up of this interview with Jason Weight on The SHizno RvB Podcast. Please go check it out because there was now ay that I could fit everything in here and there’s so much good stuff in it. SO please go and check it out! But anyways, here we go:

Joe had told Jason about the plan for a Donut and Wash season back at RTX, which Jason at first wasn't on board with. But once he began writing it, he got into it and became very attached to Donut. 

When rewatching the show to prep for S17, one scene that took note of was in the caves when Grif was making the Reds not look at Kai when naked… except for Donut since he just paid attention to the Blue’s base. It felt like he had depth in those kinds of moments and it got him to like him. He was very happy to see more people join Team Donut after the season. He feels like only the surface has been scratched for him.

He confirmed that Donut’s innuendo in the finale was intentional (even putting ‘tongue and cheek’ in the character notes) and any made after will likely be intentional by him.

When they talked about Donut and Tucker’s development, Jason joked that Simmons would be next to receive development. So it seems that Jason is at least aware of our desire for a Simmons season XD

The Everwhen was devised essentially as another method of time travel different from the previous methods seen before since doing it the same way again would have been boring. 

The timeline after the paradox in the Writers Room was called Schrodinger’s Ass. 

The version of time travel we got was the third version. Jason spent a month on Verison One, but Burnie had rejected it. Then he, Joe, and Miles devised a second version, but near the end they threw it out and the third version that included The Everwhen was made.

How it worked in previous versions was that Chrovos has made the alternate Blood Gulch as a containment unit type of thing to contain the Reds and Blues as she went backwards in time, giving them a limited amount of time before she reached the beginning of time and… honestly, IDK how to type the whole thing out. But to put it simply, it was very convoluted and thus The Everwhen was made. The first version was also rejected due to being too similar to S9.

Jason is on Red Team! His explanation? “Red Team is an actual team.” 

He really liked the direction that Joe took Wash, especially since him now having a disability gives him a new unique perspective that, even if he doesn’t get to write in the future, he looks forward to seeing the direction that Wash is taken. He also believes that if they focus on Wahs’s rehabilitation, Caboose should have a major role in it. HIRE HIM RT, DANG IT!

Simmons original nightmare was the same scenario and the same joke… except that the one int he UFO was his dad. The higher-ups rejected this since it could come off as, well… incestuous/pedophilic. Which while I think the ‘dad’ bit would have made more sense… yeah, I… can’t blame them for that one. Jason DOES say that in his mind, Simmons feels that he’s in his father's shadow and the scene was supposed to be in a Freudian reference to those feelings.

Genkins was originally not as intimidating int he script. Much of it came from the direction, especially in Episode 10 after he got skewered by the golf club. Same with Wash and Carolina’s scene in Episode 9. He greatly loved seeing the direction that Austin and Josh took with the scenes.

Miles had toyed with having a scene set directly after S13 (he says 10 but I think he meant 13), but Jason felt that it was best to leave that area alone since it had ended on such a perfect note and talked him out of it. Jason also toyed with having the guys see Epsilon’s final message ala Princess Leia hologram and Tucker picking them up/explaining Episolon’s nature. But it was too talky nor did it really affect anything, so they instead went with Tucker re-living Crash site Bravo which was done by Miles.

If RvB ended up a Seinfeld-esque comedy, Grif and Simmons would live together with Grif trying to get Simmons out of his shell. Sarge is essentially Dan DeVito. Tucker would live alone and use his sword to open up beer bottles. Donut would live in a gym due to, in his mind, him having severe allergies and is why he wears the Power Armor all the time. Carolina and Wash would live together and have a dog, and they both suck at dating due to judging the other’s dates (which Jason feels their relationship is brother and sister). Caboose owns the building they all live in. Lopez is maintenance. I want this show now.

Jason reads all the comments after all the episodes, including on Tumblr (I’m going to be so much more paranoid over my reviews now...) and one post he really liked was the idea of an RvB Road Trip since he used to be a roadie.

Jason doesn’t know how the whole Shisno thing came about since it was Joe’s idea. He does say that it used to be spelt ‘shizno’ until they found out how it’s officially been spelt as ‘shisno’. Whoops. They DID consider involving Wyoming’ time distortion unit in the story, but with all the other time shenanigans they felt it would make it too complicated.

Koen Wooten, a 3D Producer at RT, joked about putting time travel into every show from now on. Miles and Jason were unamused XD

He had a lot of fun with things like writing The Labryinth and Kai messing with Tucker

The hardest part was balancing out the time travel and figuring out what to look into and what not to. 

Jason is very used to being a director due to his own show, Starship GOldfish, and his scripts for himself are MUCH longer and detailed than they end up being in the final draft. For, he had a specific way that he wanted to have Chrovos done, so he was Skype’d in to direct Lee Eddy. Speaking of, he pushed for her after seeing her do Gwen from Camp Camp live at RTX 17 and he really wanted to have her in the show in some form.

For RvB Movie Nights, Jason thinks that Grif would like Caddyshack, thinks that Carolina is terrified of horror films like Paranormal Activity (which makes Wash confused) and ends up panic stabbing the TV, Simmons and Donut both do documentaries, Lopez liked Mr. Bean… then after going back to the beginning of time, he hates that kind of media and just watches an aquarium screen, and Kai likes Alien.

For Halloween, Jason would want to dress as the Fishman from S3 of Camp Camp. 

When questioned about the show potentially hitting serial escalation after the Cosmic Powers stuff, Jason talks about how they feel that they have now sealed off from that and can move more laterally again. But he does also feel that there are larger threats out there that affect you more personally, such as everyone trying to kill you which he thinks could be much stronger than fighting some ultra-powerful God. But we’ll have to see where things go from this point.

He believes that moving forward, Doc can be more important since he now is a nice guy with the danger of O’Malley in him. 

He also has seen that fans feel that the Reds and Blues need a rest, which he agrees with. One idea he likes that he did in PSA’s was do some Grif and Sarge bonding since he feels there’s plenty left unexplored there, Caboose helping Wahs rehabilitate, giving Simmons an arc, and Donut exploring the universe to do some world building. He and Joe liked the idea of maybe doing a mini-series, especially since Halo 6 won’t be out for quite a while and doing one can explore some new options. He also brings up ideas for the future like Locus on trial, Wash’s rehabilitation, and Tucker seeking out Junior to bond with him more after what happened in The Labryinth. I mentioned that RT needs to hire Jason ASAP, right?! RIGHT?!

He also feels that there would, ideally, eventually need to be a new villain… and suggests himself cause of him being British. HA! He also really loves villains and if he got to keep being the writer, he would absolutely voice the villain like Miles did as Felix. Although he does bring up the ‘self-insert’ critique but thinks it would be okay since as the villain it would be okay to hate him!

At the end of the interview, Jason talks about how collaborative the entire process had been and how Miles greatly helped him with the writing as well as Josh and Austin’s direction, who he hopes will still be on it. He says to thank them.

Well, that was fun! I will say, Jason hit all of the right buttons for me and I do legit hope that he can come back. But even if he can’t, this was so great and having his contribution was amazing. Thank you again for everything Jason~

[theotomemaiden]

Dialovers Tag Post 2!

Tagged by @vampiretsuki and @itsdraconia

Thanks you too! I'm so happy to get tagged I love you! :D

Rules: Simply answer the questions and also Tag me if you are going to do this because I want to and I would love to read your answers~! and Tag anyone else you want to~ 

1. - Who would you rather take to a night club, Carla or Azusa?

Well, I wouldn't fit in at a regular night club (Not that Carla or Azusa would) so I'd end up going to some underground goth nightclub. Even though I love both Carla & Azusa and although Azusa would definitely fit in the goth scene (Unlike Carla LOL), I'd honestly take Carla just to see his reactions and comments to everything, I think it would be so hilarious!

2. - In a Science test would you copy Yuma's test or Ayato's Test?

Definitely Yuma's test 100%, especially in Science because he seems like he would be smart in that area knowing about gardening & plants and whatnot.

...In any subject, I honestly rather just not take the test instead of copying Ayato. (Sorry Ayato)

3. - Would you rather have Kino and Azusa or Shin and Laito, as your butlers?

I think the obvious answer would be Kino & Azusa, but I'd choose Shin and Laito just to see what kind of shenanigans they would pull.

It'd also be entertaining to see Shin so obedient to orders and how angry and embarrassed it must make him, doing chores for a human.

4. - Go on a date with Reiji at an Aquarium or go on a date with Subaru at a cafe instead?

Definitely Subaru at a cafe! Mostly for the coffee and sweets they have there, but I'd find it very amusing to see how embarrassed Subaru would get if I tried feeding him cake. Blushy Subaru is the best Subaru.

5. - Would you rather go support/see Kou at one of his concerts or go support/see Shu at one of his violin performances?

I would rather see Kou since I'm a sucker for concerts (even though there won't be mosh pits nor head banging), I like that no one judges you at concerts and fully embraces the music. I choose this because I mean, I like the violin and the beautiful music that someone can play from it, but for a whole performance...I'd honestly be bored out of my mind.

6. - In a Math Project would you team up with Ruki and Shin or with Reiji and Yuma?

Okay well first off, I am the absolute WORST at math and hate, hate, hate it! That aside, I'd choose Ruki and Shin because we'd all be more on the same wavelength than Reiji and Yuma and more importantly, we would work together as a team.

If it were Yuma, Reiji and I...I feel like Reiji would do all of the work while Yuma and I slack off, and that's not very fair, lol. I know how irritating it is to do all of the work for everyone in a group while the rest of them just don't even try yet they would still get an A if I did well...

7. - Who would you put your bets on, Kanato eating the most chocolates or Ayato eating the most Takoyakis?

Ayato definitely, he's got the confidence to strive for being the best including eating the most takoyaki (Even if he does get sick after...)

I don't think Kanato would be able to handle eating the most chocolates because I think he would be one to stop once he starts feeling ill.

8. - Sleep in Carla's Room, Subaru's Room or Shu's Room? Would you peek on his stuff?

I'd definitely feel the most comfortable in Carla's room. It's nicely decorated with beautiful paintings and has a beautiful light and a big bed, I also love how almost everything is dark red and the lighting looks dim.

I probably wouldn't bother looking through his things, I don't think he'd have anything interesting kept in his bedroom, I mean aside from the fact that if I got caught looking through things he would kill me.

9. - You’re a princess of the Victorian era! Your father has ordered that you have a bodyguard.. who would you choose as your personal bodyguard, Laito or Kou?

Definitely Kou because he's nice most of the time but can be damn brutal if needed. I think lots of things could get by Laito if he's distracted or flirted with enough...

And although I do love Laito dearly, I wouldn't want his pervy self guarding me 24/7, it would be tiring keeping my defenses up when a body guard is supposed to ease them.

10.- Would you prefer to have Kino in his bat form as your pet or Shin in his wolf form as your pet instead? 

Definitely Shin in his wolf form, I mean mostly because I love dogs and wolves, but he's also super soft and cute, and I'd want to cuddle him even if he would bite me.

11. - Break a fight between Kou and Ayato or between Laito and Kanato?

Absolutely Laito and Kanato, aside from the fact that they're brothers, I think it wouldn't get violent like I would picture a fight between Kou and Ayato to get, they seem WAY harder to stop. You could also easily bribe Laito & Kanato out of fighting each other, in my opinion.

12. - Who would you kiss on the cheek, who would you kiss on the forehead, and who would you kiss on the left eyelid? Options: Ruki, Subaru, Azusa.

Aw, I would kiss Subaru on his cheek, Ruki on his forehead and Azusa on his left eyelid! <3

13. - Take care of Shu and Reiji in their chibi form or Subaru and Kino in their chibi form?

Subaru and Kino, because I think it would be funny to make Subaru angry and try to punch me or something, but it wouldn't hurt it would only tickle and I'd be laughing lmao. Kino, well...you can just place him on top of an iPad or something so he can play a game lol.

14. - Sing/Perform in public Laito's Q.E.D song or Reiji's Mr.ButterflyMask song?

Laito's Q.E.D song because I'm not exactly the biggest fan of the song Mr.ButterflyMask.

15. - Would you rather wear Ruki's casual outfit or Yuma's casual outfit?

I think Ruki's casual outfit is more my style, could it be fitted like women's clothing though? If I wore either of their clothing they own, they'd be so huge on me I'd literally be swimming in them... xD

16. - Go on a vacation trip with Shu, Kino and Ayato at an Amusement park, or go with Shin, Azusa and Subaru at a Water Amusement Park?

Even though I rather take a trip with Shin, Azusa and Subaru as a group instead of Shu, Kino and Ayato, I still have to pick the first one because I'm terrified of water rides. One bad experience with one ride when I was 9 and I'm just like NEVER AGAIN.

17. - Would you rather get lost in a forest with Reiji, Kino and Kou, or with Ruki, Carla and Kanato?

I think the better option would be Ruki, Carla and Kanato - Carla has his magic, Ruki is really smart and Kanato's impatience would make everyone strive harder to find our way back lol.

18. - Who would you cook breakfast for? Who would you make a scarf for? Who would you do a drawing for? Options: Kou, Azusa, Shu.

Well...I'm not exactly the greatest at cooking...but I'd probably attempt to cook breakfast for Shu, he might not eat it anyway just because he finds eating to be pointless.

I would make a reallyyyyyy long for Kou, just because it reminds me of his and Carla's sub-scenario where Kou wants to try on Carla's scarf and Carla was like "Okay....if you can unwrap it...." and him and Yui were unraveling multiple meters of scarf and it was just never ending xD

I'd do a drawing for Azusa, I'm an artist with a very dark and gothic art style and I think he would love and appreciate it the most. <3

19. - Participate in a circus as Carla's knife thrower assistant or go to a casino with Shin and be offered as a bet/reward by him in a roulette wheel game?

Definitely in a Circus as Carla's knife thrower assistant, I would put my trust in Carla a lot more, he uses magic and is practically perfect as a lot of things so he can't miss THAT badly while throwing knives. Unless he really TRIES to kill me lol, I like doing dangerous things anyway :)

With Shin...well...you never know where that will end up. Lol

20. - Who would you rather catch by accident taking a shower, Yuma or Kanato?

Definitely Yuma...while he my get angry a bit, you never know what Kanato would do out of anger and embarrassment...lol.

And @vampiretsuki YES I love tag posts like these! I'd be extremely happy to read and answer another! ♥️♥️♥️Thankssss!!!!

Also, everyone should do this! I know a lot of people were already tagged but if you weren't then say I tagged you ^_^

[moskaisley]

good evening it’s 3am n I’m still thinkin abt this so instead of getting my laptop and opening google docs let me just vomit it here

they meet as civilians during a pta meeting at the cookies and lemonade table

while the principal rattles off all her extensive science degrees to marcus, teacher!reader is literally thinking “you look like that guy I tried to dip in acid like a week ago,,,,,but with glasses,,,,,,🤔,”

meanwhile marcus is none the wiser bc youre way too pretty and good to be an evil genius mastermind and besides his archnemesis wears a fishbowl helmet thing on their head and sounds nothing like you there’s no possible way right–

So Yeah cue fun single dad tries to woo school teacher shenanigans ie. « coincidental » run ins at the grocery store/library, meet cute coffee shop stuff and more pta meetings where you talk shit about karen, long standing president who is still trying to get [insert ‘controversial’ classic piece of literature here] banned from the student reading list

meanwhile there’s occasional super fight once or twice u know just ~cute archnemesis things~

if he wears you out one night, you usually end up putting a movie on the next day in class 🤷🏻‍♀️

one day, you catch him before he leaves and asks him to chaperone the field trip to the aquarium

he says yes ofc and what he thought would be a moderately amusing trip turns into a FUCKING rollercoaster

he watches in awe as you bounce around with your students, helping them through activities and teaching them with an excited grin

he can’t help what happens next; you’re both catching a moment of peace in an empty alcove that’s reserved for jellyfish

he steals a kiss from you there; it’s soft and quiet and chaste and so beautiful that it makes you want to vomit

because for a moment, you forgot you were an evil person seeking vengeance on the man in front of you. you were just a woman in love and it’s terrifying because cold and heartless and chaos is all you know

so you break away, apologizing and making the excuse that you should get back to the kids before one of them breaks a tank and causes a flood

you’re both quiet for a while until you step into the deep sea exhibit. as the kids walk ahead and crowd against the base of the tank, you hang back with marcus

“do you know how much of the ocean has yet to be discovered?”

“it seems the deeper you go, the more terrifying it gets”

it’s the way you say it; something slightly off kilter, a crack in your otherwise innocent, wholesome persona you’ve presented before

to any other person, you would’ve sounded normal. and maybe he’s crazy but your tone sends a chill down marcus’s spine.

you walk towards the glass, joining the children and sending them off to scatter around the room do their assignment

an angler fish creeps out of a rocky cavern, swimming towards the glass with its menacing jaw agape.

when you turn to shoot marcus a smile, his breath hitches

there’s a glint in your eye that he can’t quite place. the room is so dim- the low blue light drapes over the curves of your right cheek, while the left is shrouded in complete darkness. the fish looms behind you, hovering just above your shoulder and makes no effort to swim away. shit, you’re giving him a look that he can’t resist falling in love with, you’re beautiful, ethereal. But there’s something else. you’re–

you’re dangerous. you’re baring your teeth.

rivals to lovers with marcus moreno x mysterious archenemisis mad scientist super villain by night but is a cute chem teacher by day at his daughter’s school and —

[jyushimatsu-falls-in-love]

s2ep8: I become Iruka?

[SPOILERS - AND, AMONG OTHER THINGS, A VERY SPECIAL GUEST - UNDER THE CUT!]

Before we start, I would like to report that thankfully, there wasn’t a single hint of dolphin bestiality in Jyushi’s skit as I feared! :’D But I’ll get to that skit later.

The first skit came as a surprise - “Synthesis”. And it handles the concept of fusions! Yeah, kinda like the Steven Universe ones except not really. Dekapan creates a machine capable of fusing two things together into one thing. But then it falls into Dayon’s hands... and things go crazy from there :P

The best - and also most horrifying - part of this skit is just how bizarre and creative the fusions are. Sure, we start with a simple curry rice... but then we get to the Dekapan+fly fusion, then the Oso+Iyami fusion (which was oddly adorable btw), then the Chibi+Hata fusion, then the Suiriku fusion, then the Otoutomatsu fusion, then the Nyaa+Shonosuke Hijirisawa fusion (EEYUP), then the Totoko+baseball alien fusion... it just goes on and on and holy crap these fusions have to be seen to be believed, they’re the weirdest things but as terrifying as they were they were also a delight to behold :’) Or maybe I’m just weird haha

The skit’s end is taken to it’s most logical conclusion when Dayon, having become a power-hungry megalomaniac, decides to fuse the entirety of Akatsuka Ward together... and the end result is merely a single piece of pink poop. Well then.

(It’s the same case as in S2Ep6, wasn’t it? Iyami shouted “Evil should die!” and his words ended up leveling the entirety of Akatsuka Ward. That and this is continuing proof that Akatsuka Ward is a shithole full of shit people. How unfortunate :P)

Then comes the second skit, the one we’ve all been waiting for! “Jyushimatsu and a Dolphin”. In this one, Jyushi tries to sign up to work with dolphins in the local aquarium/marine show. However, he’s not interested in being a dolphin trainer like the Girlymatsus are - he wants to be a dolphin. As in, an actual dolphin that performs in these shows. The Girlymatsus of course are having none of that.

(And yes, the Girlymatsus are indeed here as dolphin trainers! Everyone except Jyushiko has been accounted for. It was good seeing the girls again, and even as dolphin trainers nothing has changed much in their interactions with each other. It was pretty funny seeing them basically being the tsukkomi to Jyushi’s antics haha)

But just then, someone steps in to help Jyushi out! She offers to train Jyushi to achieve his dream of becoming a real dolphin. And guess who it is--!!

YES IT’S HER!!!!! IT’S HER!!!!!! HOMERUN GIRL IS BACK!!!!! MY DARLING GIRL IS BACK AND OH IT WAS SUCH A SURPRISE SEEING HER AGAIN AND SHE’S BEAUTIFUL AND AS WONDERFUL AS EVER AND ASAFKFGO;JCKL;AJ;LCQ WHEEZES

Although I must point out, in this skit she seems to be acting as if she and Jyushi never met, or at least that the way that they met was different? It’s almost as if she's a completely different character in this skit. Actually considering the lack of other Matsus and the lack of Jyushiko, some have speculated that this skit is actually an AU skit of sorts, with the other Matsus playing the roles of the Girlymatsus instead of their regular selves; and I’m kinda sorta inclined to agree with it. I feel like, if this were a true continuation of the timeline where “Jyushimatsu Falls in Love” happened, they would’ve at least acknowledged it (and the other brothers would’ve showed up). But they didn’t (and they didn’t), so. Hmm. She didn’t even laugh her famous laugh here :(

Anyway! Homura offers to train Jyushi to become a dolphin. And her training is absolutely brutal. Jyushi drowns several times and pukes out raw fish several times. It was very weird watching this bit at first without subs, mostly because HOLY CRAP HOMURA’S SO DIFFERENT HERE. It created such a disconnect between how I’ve been writing her and how she was portrayed in this episode, and I felt super confused orz But watching it with subs, I found that she still sounded like herself and I could still incorporate this side of her with how I’ve been writing her in my fics, so XD

Sadly, no matter how hard Jyushi and Homura worked, Jyushi still can’t act like a dolphin. So the two are rejected and fired from the marine show. Even Homura admits that Jyushi can’t be a dolphin, no matter how hard he tries. But Jyushi stubbornly won’t give up. So they have a brief fall-out here and I got sad :( (Though it was much more worrying watching them argue without subs, geez orz I’m glad their argument wasn’t actually as bad and ship-sinking as I feared it would be)

But then, with a little help and night-training from the dolphins themselves, Jyushi learns how to be a dolphin - and so, at the show the next day, he makes his debut!! Everyone from the Girlymatsus to Iyami and Dekapan to Homura is shocked at the development! But it was a glorious moment, and Homura felt so proud of Jyushi that she cried happy tears!!! Aaaaah the JyushiHomu is still very strong in this AU skit and I’m glad ♥♥♥♥♥

The skit not only ended with Jyushi’s dolphin victory, but it also had a song to go along with it! “Jyushiruka”!!! Unfortunately, I ended up missing the subbed lyrics for reasons, so I wasn’t able to see the song translated... I’ll have to rewatch it soon :’)

And finally, we have the post-credits skit, all about Totoko and Nyaa-chan! Except, well, not much can be said about it really, other than that Totoko and Nyaa really don’t like each other, and Chibita really needs a vacation :’P It was still pretty silly watching the girls fight, though. (This is the ideal BGM for it IMO ;P) 

Oh, and at the end it said “To be continued”, so I guess there’s more to Totoko and Nyaa’s shenanigans next week! I hope Chibita is saved by then :P

All in all, this was a solid episode! I loved both “Synthesis” and “Jyushi and a Dolphin” - and of course, most of all I love Jyushi and love love LOVE Homura-chan!!! My love for her increased a hundredfold watching this ep ;v; ♥♥♥♥♥ I wonder, since this skit felt more AU-y, if later down the line we’ll actually see her again - as in, with the events of “Jyushi Falls in Love” properly acknowledged, therefore making it a true reunion. I kinda really hope we do!!! There’s still a lot that could be done, I feel ;v; I’ll also be looking forward to the fish vs cat rivalry continuation! I wonder if Totoko and Nyaa could ever be friends haha

And next week’s preview... Something about Oso and hedges keeping friendships green... And the futon... And poor Ichi looks like he’s gonna have a hard time sleeping. Oh dear ;;

[kootenaygoon]

So,

Shuswap Joe felt like he was drowning with grief.

It was late December 1924, and the winter had been relentless. He had taken over the head office on the top floor of the River Eel Saloon, a lonely refuge directly above the bar, and retreated into solitude. Ragtime music wafted through the floorboards, along with a steady murmur of muffled conversation and punctuated with the occasional racket of gunfire. Clif’s gleaming black oak desk faced the window, where snow gusted past in thick torrents, and behind it was an entire wall of thick-packed bookshelves. To the side was a six-foot tall, six-foot wide aquarium, and listlessly slithering inside were two lonely-looking river eels from the Adams. The ones Shuswap Joe had seen in his youth were alive with rainbows of intoxicating electricity, but these ones seemed more drab and lifeless everyday. He padded the room naked, slurping from a jug of Shu-Scotch and dreading the days to come. He didn’t want to face a world without his best friend and mentor, but he didn’t have a choice.

Eventually Joe ventured downstairs, where the staff treated him as royalty. He began to eat, ordering simmering piles of bacon and stacks of syrup-soaked flapjacks topped with whipped cream and blueberries. He ate steak and eggs and mashed potatoes, chased with beer, then called for salmon. The chef tried everything to sate his hunger, introducing new menu items exclusively for Joe, but inevitably he would let out a thunderous belch and call for more. They brought him sausages on a string that he downed by the dozen, followed by fresh-plucked chickens still dripping from the spit. By this point his arms were like bulging tree trunks and his belly had swelled to the shape of a pumpkin. For a month he rarely left his dining spot in the corner, where people gave him a wide berth. They could see the dark, tortured look in his eyes. 

That’s when he met Mistress Molly, the barkeep, who was less than half his height. Long chocolate curls piled voluminously on her shoulders, framing her wide jolly face and gleaming green eyes. Her bosom was barely contained by the bodice of her dress, and jiggled like rising dough. She’d taken a keen interest in him as he cleaned one plate after another. She recognized the lost look in his eyes, and she was determined to help somehow. Late one night she took the seat across from him, where a teetering tower of dirty plates was stacked precariously. The man who met her gaze had the youthful sheen of his 20s, but the tragic energy of a man facing down oblivion. 

He was a perfect project.

“You keep eating like this and one day you’re liable to burst open like a balloon and paint the walls with your gore,” she said. “If I’m being honest, I don’t want to be the one to clean it up.”

“That would be a grim task.”

“There’s plenty of tragedy in this world without you creating more. You need something to take your mind off your troubles, Joe. You can’t continue like this.”

That was all the invitation Joe needed. Without saying another word he lugged Molly over one shoulder giggling and carried her up the dusty stairs to his loft. He’d never been with a woman before, but Molly’s pink skin and mischievous smile had awakened something inside him. Upstairs he unwrapped her like a present, before a full-length mirror, then dropped to his knees in rapture to drink in the female form. Underneath her clothes Molly was a miracle, or maybe a mirage. He drew her stomach to his bearded face and felt her skin warm against his cheek. This was where he belonged.

“You’ve got three colours in your beard because you have three spirits inside you, each one fighting for dominance,” Molly said, running her fingers through his hair. “The blond is the lover, the brown is the fighter and the red represents a man on fire. You’re red more than you’re not, I can tell that already, but there’s more to you than that.”

“You can tell that all from my beard?”

“Men carry their truths on their bodies. I’ve been around long enough to learn that. That’s why men are lousy liars, because they wear their histories like skin. I could read your body like I read a book.”

“What kind of story would it tell?”

She blinked for a few moments. “It would be a very sad story, but a beautiful one too.”

That night, while Joe snored facedown on his cot with one arm thrown across Mistress Molly, the river eels began to stir. They circled faster, and faster, until one leapt to the surface of the tank and began to sing. Its voice was a flute-like whine, with a slight electric crackle. It serenaded the new lovers as downstairs the party continued. Shadows danced across the floor as the snow continued to flurry beyond the glass. The eels yearned for their home on the Adams River, which seemed like a distant dream now. They remembered surging through the current luxuriously, meandering along the rocky riverbeds and sunning themselves in the shallows. The aquarium seemed to them a savage cruelty, of the sort only humans were capable. Repeatedly they called out to their master, Nanor, but he made no reply.

The next morning Molly asked about them as she pulled her stockings back on. “They give me the creeps, fella.”

“The eels have a strange magic. Clif liked to keep them close. He believed in their power, believed their electricity was responsible for his success. We fished them out of the Adams River together when I was just a kid.”

“Sounds like a swell memory, but eels don’t belong in the Shuswap. If you want my advice, I’d fry them up and eat them. That’s all they’re good for,” she said. “You’ve got more than enough power already.”

Whether he was ready or not, power had been thrust upon him. In the proceeding weeks he met with one subordinate after another, delegating tasks at the distillery and giving instructions to his smugglers. He felt like an imposter, like a fraud, but the men immediately fell into line in his presence. Everywhere he went was boot-licking and subservience.The entire Shu-Scotch operation was running so smoothly that he didn’t have any role other than to supervise from afar. He marvelled at the fat envelopes of cash that his men delivered each week, as if all the money in the Shuswap was on a conveyor belt that delivered it directly to his pocket. He had little purpose for it, though, because he had no interest in material things.

What he did have an interest in, after Mistress Molly awakened the blond spirt within him, was women. All his life he’d avoided them, haunted by the memory of his mother, but now he was utterly bewitched. He would look out at a room full of women and wish he could disrobe each and every one of them. He was intoxicated by their laughter, obsessed with their skin, addicted to the smell of their hair. With each woman he took back to his room, his appetite grew. One night he entertained two sisters simultaneously, a week later it was a mother and daughter. There were church girls, young mothers, whores. Mistress Molly watched his carnal shenanigans from behind the bar, with a knowing smile on her face. Joe was just wondering why the universe was being so kind to him when one night a pack of husbands arrived thirsty for blood. They accused him of seducing their spouses.

Joe held up his hands. “Your wives are all women grown, free to make their own choices. This has nothing to do with me, gentlemen.” 

One of the men stepped forward. “Don’t try to dodge blame, sir. You are a scourge on our community, an absolute villain!”

That’s when Joe’s brown spirit came to life.

He had doubted himself for too long. Ever since leaving the Adams River he’d wondered at his place in this world, his role. But when moments like this arrived, all misgivings evaporated. Right there in the River Eel Saloon he began to twirl and dance his way through a brouhaha of fists and kicks, while patrons jumped out of the way, tables overturned and beer mugs smashed. He took one man by the throat and threw him like a javelin through the front window. The next one he head-butted unconscious. Joe broke the next two noses he saw with the butt of his palm, then he crushed a wrist before its prone owner could pull a pistol. The final man tackled him to the ground and began to strangle him, spitting with rage. Joe’s eyes bulged for only a moment before he got ahold of his hands and crunched all his finger bones. The man screamed in agony, then fainted. Upstairs he could hear the river eels singing. 

After a quiet moment he rose to his feet, panting. He gazed around at the terrified onlookers, and smiled. His nose was bleeding.

“You’re a good fighter, but I think you may have to rethink your romance strategy,” Molly said, coming out from behind the bar. 

“I mean, just look at this mess.” 

The Kootenay Goon