#|| since there were so many I didn't spend as long as I might otherwise on any individual question but that might be a good thing

[keen-li]

Marmalade : PEEL

Series : ongoing

Chapter title : PEEL

Synopsis: in order to keep this secret you and jungkook have from your brother, your Brother's friend gives you a condition.

"I won't tell your brother aslong as we keep fucking"

its not like you don't want to. you get you keep the secret from your brother and also get to fuck jungkook

. can you say no?

fuck boy jk.

Brother's best friend jk

college student reader

Warnings: mentions of weed (not direct with ocs), suggestive, time skips, flashbacks, smutty, mentions of sex, pet names, usage of y/n, marmalade.

Word count: 8k

Your shoes hit the concert of the pathway rhythmically as you strut down campus.  The music you're listening to aiding your confidence. Walking down this campus you need all the confidence you can get. You're not as fashionable as the girls around, so you need confidence to keep up. You don't feel the need to be fashionable anyways. Most girls do it for the guys, but It's just guys who spend their time in lame circles smoking weed and shit, don't even have a stable source of income. Nothing special to dress up for.

"But you should still try something new" the person you've been avoiding for three weeks now said to you.

You've been dodging jungkook like the plague recently. Hiding in your room for as long as you can when he's downstairs with your brother.  Wearing a large hoodie to hide your face when you're in public, not like it does much jungkook probably knows that hoodie. Or even using another route when going home just incase he might spawn somewhere on the road. You even went as far as turning off your phone at night, knowing that's the time jungkook mostly texts you.

Ever since that night in the kitchen.

"I won't tell as long as we keep fucking"

He honestly has the audacity to blackmail you. You  should've told him to fuck off, but you didn't. Instead you agreed.

Sigh.

It's not like you regret saying yes, its just the thought that jungkook might tell on you once he gets tired of you freaks you out. It's possible for him to grow tired and you know that,  he's got so many options. You're nothing special to him, though it does feels like you mean something when he has his hands all over you. Whispering how much time he has before your brother's back. Usually 30 minutes.  And he sure does make sure that time is used wisley, having you in all kinds of posi-

Beep.

You don't turn to look at the source of your distraction.  But in your peripheral vision you see a car slow down next to you. You walk a little faster hoping it's not him. It is, his voice tells you that.

"You can't ignore me forever" his voice is muffled by the music that's playing through your ears, but you can tell that smooth cheeky voice through whatever sound.

You sigh and roll your eyes. You've been caught, no running now.

You muster up the courage to finally speak head still faced forward.

"What do you want jeon" you speak nonchalantly.

"Oooh, were using last names" he says feigning a scared tone. You scoff at him.

"Why don't you come to my place so we can hangout" he says one hand on the steering wheel and the other arm against the window frame elbow out the window. He's eyes don't leave your figure that doesn't seem interested him but he knows otherwise.

"No"

You can hear him sigh as his car slows down even more and so do your steps, unconsciously.

"I guess I'm going to have to text him" you stop in your tracks as jungkook threatens to pull out his phone.

"Or maybe I should just call" he looks at you as if asking which one he should chose. He's so annoying.

You finally turn to him and speak "Don't you dare" you warn.

"Get in then" he looks forward wanting you to get into his car. He must think he's in some 80s movie with the way he's sat in his car. You've been avoiding jungkook for a reason and you can't let your efforts be blown away, but damn he makes it so hard to say no.

"Put your seat belt on" he says as you slam his car door shut. You then give him a i-was-going-to glare.

Soon his car's on the main road as you both sit in silence.  You try to distract your mind by staring at the moving objects but your mind still can't move from the man sat comfortably with his hand on the wheel. He looks like he wants to say something but's thinking it through.

"How was class?" He finally spits out, clearing the silence.

"It was okay" you say falling back into awkward silence.  Why is it so awkward all of a sudden between the two of you. Is it the unspoken tension. Where is it even coming from you wonder. For you maybe it's the unanswered  question of why jungkook would still want to fuck you. And for jungkook maybe its the fact that you've been ignoring him.  He couldn't help himself bit wonder if he crossed the line with his demand from that night. Did he make you uncomfortable? Did he fuck it up? He couldn't help but wonder these things,  he should've just asked you. But again how would've that made him look.

"Did you miss me?" He turns to look at you shortly catching you rolling your eyes making him grin.

"Why would I do that?" You spit

"Remember that call" you cringe at the thought. You accidentally butt dialed jungkook and when he called you back you clarified.  You and jungkook only call each other when you wanna meet up, so when you butt dialed him you were afraid he might get the wrong message. But after his few teasing comments he let it go. Not completely though.

"It was an accident I told you" you whine complaining.

"On purpose? an accident?" He takes a turn "there's a very thin line"

You scoff. Maybe he is right. You kinda wish he fought a little harder on that call.

" 'Kay" is what is he told you when you said it was really a mistake.  You were playing hard to get, couldn't he tell?  Even if you were ignoring him you still missed him. Just the physicals though.

-

You're leaning against jungkook's kitchen counter as he re-enters his kitchen, after getting a change of clothes.  You wish you could also have a change of clothes, these just smell of your lecture and you really don't want to be reminded of that.

"You should stop leaving your shit here" he says handing you something. when he walked in you didn't notice the little lip balm he was holding. He stretches his had out so you can get it but you just stare at it analysing the brand and the flavour. He nudges his hand so you can get it but you shake your head and he twists his face confused. Your facial expression is kinda fallen showing the disturbance.

"That isn't mine" you speak feeling a nudge at your chest. "I don't use that brand or that flavour"

Jungkook sighs realising what he's done.  But his next statement doesn't show any concern for a disturbed you.

"I guess yuji left it here" he shrugs turning around and placing the cylindrical tube, that's now your enemy, on the counter next to you. You just wanna pick it up and throw it against his head. Why are you even mad? You know what you and jungkook are, you shouldn't feel this way. Maybe it's the way jungkook doesn't care and goes back to talking like there isn't tension in your chest.

And cause you don't want to make a fuss about things and make shit awkward you decide to follow suit and just talk like you don't have a lump in your throat. Iys not like its his job to care or know what you're feeling.

"Want something to drink?" He asks back facing you as he stares into the fridge.  Why did he even bother putting on a shirt, that see through shirt isn't hiding shit. And your eyes can't help but wonder. Wonder across from shoulder to shoulder.  Wonder around the muscles that flex cause he's now bending slightly to see what's at the bottom of the fridge. Wonder down his spine to his tail bone where his Calvin klein band peeks out. Wonder,  wonder, wonder and too much wondering.

Jungkook turns to look at you for the answer and when he catches you drooling he chuckles.

"Got a thing for backs?" He asks sarcastically.  He's body is now turned to you and he places the canned drink next to you, since you haven't answered him he'll just give you what he wants. You clear your throat and straighten yourself awkwardly,  eyes wondering away from him now.

"I wasn't looking at you" you lie trying to save your already gone self respect. 

"Yea right? And I'm still a virgin" you chuckle at his childishness.  Can he blame you, he's got a great back. And you haven't seen it in a while. Those long hours at the gym finally showing through.

You both stand against the counters sipping your drinks from time to time. Jungkook stands by the counter opposite from you so you have a direct sight of his body.

"You should stop giving me rides" you say and jungkook's eyes meet your face confused. What's wrong he wants to ask but it sounds too intimate,  so he let's his eyes ask the question.

"Don't you think someone will think there's something going on?" You say voice a little timid. Your eyes fling to jungkook when you hear him release a chuckle.

"Everyone one knows I'm your Brother's friend, so giving you a ride shouldn't be that big of an issue" he shrugs off your concerns.

"I get that but people still talk" jungkook nods acknowledging.

"But do you know your Brother's the one who asks me to give you rides" he starts.

"The ones with my car atleast" he say with that cheeky grin of his. You get what he's saying and you throw him a stop it glare. Which he does as he adjusts himself against the counter and takes a sip of the liquid.

You calm from your chuckles "I didn't know he asked you to do that"

Jungkook doesn't say anything as you continue to speak.

"But still I don't  think we should be seeing each other whilst in public " Your body goes back to being freaking anxious. The way you say it makes jungkook laugh, and there he goes again diminishing your serious concerns.

"Y/n you're acting like I have my hands on you when we're outside" he's right.  Why are you making it so dramatic, its not that big of a deal but you still don't want any stories going around. The last thing you want is rumours and giving your brother ideas which aren't true, well they are but your don't want him to take it into consideration.

"I know but still..." your eyes fall as you stare at your feet against jungkook's floor. Pretty floor.

Jungkook understands your concern, rumours spread like wild fire on your campus. If you didn't have the 'jungkook is my Brother's friend' card to protect you, you're sure the both of you would be under heat right now. Mainly you cause everyone would want to know who jungkook might be fucking. In these situations no one really cares about the guy they just wanna find the girl and see if her looks match up.

Yours don't , that's what you think. During this time that you've been hiding from jungkook,  you've been thinking about the fact that jungkook is outta your league. Your not unattractive in anyway, and you know that especially when jungkook's expressing to you how attractive you are,  though you think it's the sex talking. You aren't unattractive,  it's just that you aren't someone who stereotypically people would think jungkook is sleeping with. You've never brought these concerns to jungkook cause he honestly doesn't need to know. Would he even care.

Though he has told you countless times that you are very beautiful, in many ways. By the way he looks at you, the ways he touches you and the way he kisses you. Its just something that you need to work on by yourself and you aren't gonna drag jungkook into it.

Jungkook watches how your fingers tap against the counter and he knows you're anxious. So to comfort you he walks to you and puts his hand over your hand , stopping it from racing. Your eyes move to the man standing over  you and when your eyes meet he can see that you're overthinking. His hand is warm over yours, you don't bother to turn to look at it knowing it's safe under his hold. It's calms you how Jungkook knows how to help you when you're overthinking, even though he doesn't know what you're overthinking about all he cares is that you realise you don't need to especially if it's about him.

"That's okay... if that's what you want " he reassures. You nod.

Jungkook doesn't know why he comforts you or feels the need to, maybe it's the fact that he's your Brother's friend so he feels that kind of need to protect you from whatever. Otherwise he doesn't know why he does it.

He watches how your lips pout, they're slightly tinted red, he knowsit's probably your lipstick, and he's always wanted to tell you how good you look with it on. And that whatever flavour you use tastes so good. He just wants to taste it once more and remove that pout and sad look from your lips. And so he does.

But before your lips meet he's interrupted by the buzzing of his phone against the counter.  He doesn't give any facial expression you can read, not even a hum or a sigh. He picks up the phone quickly wanting the call to end so he can kiss you. He should've just turned off his phone.

He looks at the caller Id and sighs internally.

It's yuji.

Jungkook gives you one last look. "I'll be back" he says as you nod and he walks out. You're left wondering if its your brother who's called him, and your heart is beating quickly. What if someone told him you got into jungkook's car? And he's calling jungkook to know where you are cause you're not home. Many theories run through your mind and you're gonna be fucked if any of them involve your brother.

You're theories are proven wrong when you hear Jungkook say,

"Yuji I told you I can't come today"

Yuji? You've heard that name on campus before. But for what. You think for a while then it clicks.

It's the girl that's always on jungkook, you've heard many rumours about them, which you've never told Jungkook about before cause its not necessary. He's probably heard all of them before and if he has he's never talked about them with you, that's not what your relationship is about.  Its kinda stupid to call it a relationship but you need a word for it and that's the only one that comes to mind.

You've heard some crazy rumours about jungkook and yuji. Some are that jungkook is obsessed with her and won't let her get into a relationship and that he beat up a guy she was chilling with, which sounds like bullshit and unlikely. You don't know jungkook enough to know if he's the jealous kind, you haven't gotten a chance to touch those waters yet. And if he is you aren't sure if you wanna touch those waters. You've thought about jealous jungkook whilst in bed before, helps you get off, but you don't think you'll ever get to know if he is. Cause your relationship isn't anything serious.

Another rumour is that yuji is the one obsessed with jungkook,  this one's more likely. Cause she can't bare seeing him talk to another girl or even mention another girl's name. You heard through the grapevine that she got a girl expelled for even threatening to fuck jungkook. Does she even have the power to do that? Well her family is well off, like very much. So maybe it is possible, childish but possible. It's funny how you learn everything through the grapevine.

Another rumour you heard, this one is the most shocking. You heard that jungkook got yuji pregnant and she had to abort it. Why does this girl bother jungkook so much, it bothers you so much. You just wish you could tell her to leave him alone, but you aren't in any position to do so.

Anyway,  you didn't want to believe the rumour but it was so hard when during that week jungkook was acting off. He never hangout with your brother or even responded to any one of your calls. You didn't want to bug so you left it. But the question ate at you every time, especially when you were worried about jungkook.  And shortly during that week jungkook had went out of town and when he returned he told your brother that he went to his parent's place. Seems like it was a good move cause he came back to his normal self, laughing and joking with you.

"Missed me?" He said the first time you talked to him after all that happened.

You really wanted to ask him what the actual fuck happened. Were the rumours true? Why was he acting so off and reserved? But its not like its any of your business.  So you didn't,  you just let the questions eat at you. You're just here for the fucks and gags.

After that one you stopped listening to the rumours, not any other one. Whether about jungkook, students or the ghosts on campus at night. You don't listen to any of them. Cause after the jungkook ones you were kinda disturbed,  out of it if you can say. You don't even know why, you just didn't like how people go around talking about others lives. Especially if it's someone you know.

Jungkook's call seems to be taking long and you're getting bored and tired. So you decide to look around his kitchen, throwing your now empty can into the bin on your way around. It's not like you've never been in his house, you have but when you have you've been too carried away by his lips and touches that you didn't even bother looking around. And even after you're done you're too carried with getting out of his house and rushing home. You've never spent a night in jungkook's House.

"You should get home before your brother gets suspicious" he says shirtless laying on the bed chest still sweaty from your deeds. He watches as you get dressed. You know that'd he'd ask you to go home, so you never even bother to stay longer.

"Let me call you a cab" he says reaching for his phone and the sheets covering his manhood move slightly.

"it's okay I've already called one" you knew that this would happen so you called a cab already. Always be prepared.  He doesn't walk you out to your cab, just says he's goodbyes and tells you to greet your brother for him, which is a cheeky joke he likes to make.

Whilst in the cab you wonder why it bothers you that jungkook isn't so affectionate afterwards. You kinda wished he'd atleast walk you out to the cab, you understand why he doesn't drive you home. But he could atleast walk you out to the door or even give you a little goodbye kis- you don't even know why you think of these things, it's the silence that encourages your thoughts.

Shit.

You grunt and curse at the pain in your toe, you just hit your toe on the cupboard. It hurts so bad and you hope jungkook didn't hear the sound or even your now wearing out grunts and curses. After you're done looking after your toe you decide to open cupboard right above your head. It's labelled 'MARMALADE' so that catches your attention even more cause its the only labelled cupboard.

Your hand grabs the handle gently and you open the cupboard. Once you do your eyes are met with the numerous glass bottles filled with an orange jam like substance.  Must be marmalade like the label said, but why does he have marmalade and why so many bottles.

You grab one carefully making sure not to let it slip and fall, the last thing you want Is to break something in jungkook's house when you don't even know how he'd react.

You play around with the glass jar admiring the orange colour and sweet citrus smell, you don't like fhe citrus smell but it does smell good. You're lost in the brightness of it that you don't hear jungkook enter.

"Sorry that took long" you're snapped out of it when you hear his voice.

"Just got a call from..."

"Was it my brother?" You ask

"No"

"Then you don't have to tell me anything" you don't even know what he was going to say but you don't need to know. He hums and mumbles a 'you're right'

He places his phone back on the counter.

"I see you've found my marmalade" he says nodding towards the bottle. You didn't even realise you still had it in your hands. You chuckle.

"Oh yeah found a bunch of them"

"Hope you don't mind " you look at him for assurance. And he shakes his head no.

"Looks like you like marmalade" you say placing the bottle down.

"Mhm"

"Why?" You ask. It might be digging too much in his personal life but you're just curious. It doesn't matter if he answers or not....

"It just tastes good" safe answer he thinks.

You look back at the bottle picking it up and analysing it once more.  You didn't notice before but now you realise that it's brandless.

"What brand is it?"

"I make it myself " he walks towards you and stretches his hand so that you give the bottle to him.

"Explains why you have so many of them"

"Wanna taste?" He lifts his brow to you but you shake your head.

"I don't really like marmalade" you confess and jungkook lifts he's hand over your head to open the cupboard. He places the jar back in its place and with his hands over your head he looks down at you and you up at him. And says in a whisper...

"Well you're looking at it like you wanna have a taste" he stares at you longingly trapping you between him and the cupboard. You feel small under his longing gaze. You love how even just by the way he stares at you you can feel the heat travel your body. Before he moves away he licks his lips that you've been staring at hoping he'd kiss you and like he can tell he chuckles.

"So you wanna try it or no?" He stares at you the fridge door open and an opened marmalade jar in his hands. He waits for your response.

It's not like you're allergic to it, why would hurt just to try it. Plus jungkook looks like he really wants you to try it.

"Sure" you agree, "couldn't hurt"

He closes the fridge and grabs a tiny spoon. He's now standing in front of you spoon digging into the jar, and when you see him scoop a large amount you hum in disagreement.

"What?" He looks at you

"That's too much" he looks at the spoon.

"It's not too much" it is too much.

"It is jungkook"

"Come on, you can take it." He moves closer to you moving the spoon to your lips. You move your head.

"It's too much"

"Come on baby you've taken much more" you scoff.

"That wasn't jam jungkook " he chuckles knowing it's true. "That's going to be too sweet" you nod towards the spoon.

"Plus I told you I don't like it"

He sighs. "Come on take it for me. You won't eat everything"

You look at him with a raised brow.

"Please"

It's not that big of a deal so you nod and open your mouth slightly, jungkook smiles and brings the spoon to your mouth. The sweet jam meets your lips and some goes onto your tongue. You can immediately taste the sweetness and citrus flavour.

Jungkook tilts the spoon wanting you to take everything. He's such a liar. When you realise what he's doing you start to hum for him to stop, but he doesn't, it amuses him actually. You turn your head away and in your struggle you cause some marmalade to fall off the spoon and into your open chest. You whine jungkook's name as you look at the drop of jam on your chest.

"Look at what you've done y/n" he says in a lecturing tone. Your eyes widen as you see him bend to your chest , his hands on both sides of you holding the counter.

"W-what are you doing?" You know what he's doing, and it makes your chest rise up and down at a quick rate. And now that he's by your chest you're sure he can see it.

"I'm cleaning your mess" he says and the way his eyes watch yours from under you makes you push your body close to him. He sinks in lower his breath now on your chest. His sleek tongue meets your skin licking the jam right off you, you lean your head back giving jungkook more room to roam.

"Sweet" he mumbles against your skin as he moves up to place a wet kiss on your neck.

"So how does it taste" he asks moving back to watch your flushed face. You even forgot about the taste of the marmalade, only remembering how jungkook felt against your skin.

"Uhh" you search your brain to see if it remembers what the marmalade tastes like. And after a hard fight to get through the thoughts of jungkook you remember.

"Not bad. Seeing that you made it yourself" he watches your face as you speak, finding joy in the way you say things.

"But i still don't like it " jungkook moves away from you, and you can physically feel the feeling of his loss of presence from you. You watch him as he takes back the jar.

"You will one day"

You roll your eyes at that.  Nothing can make you like marmalade.

You and jungkook talk about somethings, nothing to deep. Just some Harry Potter stuff. You go back and forth arguing about some situations in the movies and you laugh at the opinions he has and he scoffs at some of yours.  You never knew jungkook liked Harry Potter nor did he know you liked it too.

"I could've had voldemort on his knees in he first movie" you roll your eyes

"Oh please. You wouldn't survive."

"Have you even these?" He proceeds to flex his biceps for you and you burst out laughing showing him your pretty smile. Has he ever told you,you have a pretty smile. He joins you in your fit of laughter.

As you calm down from your laughter and have nothing else to laugh about or say, your mind begins to wonder why jungkook brought you here. You know why he brought you here but you don't know why he's taking so long with it, you thought licking marmalade off your bare chest was a perfect opening but he didn't use it. Most of the time it doesn't take long before both of you are at eachother. But today he's taken so much time that you've even gotten the time to talk about your personal hobbies, likes and dislikes. Which you haven't done before.

But you have enjoyed just talking with jungkook. Getting to know somethings you didn't before like he can make and likes marmalade or that he also likes Harry Potter.  Its nice to just talk like this. But you want to know why he brought you here still. Does he just wanna chat?

"Anywany why did you bring me over " a little straight forward but you want to know.  You don't wanna put your mind or any other vital organ in the wrong places.

"To hang out of course" he doesn't convince you and you keep a raised brow at him while he smiles suspiciously at you.

Hangout you did do. If you're talking about lips then yes you guys did hangout. You knew he didn't bring you here for fun and you're kinda happy that he got on with it immediately after you asked why he brought you to his home. You missed his touch, soft sweet touches like his marmalade.

And afterwards you left just like every other night. But tonight your thoughts are filled with wondering what other things jungkook might like.

-

You were chilling in the living room when jungkook came over to visit your brother.  He tried to kick you out of the living but you refused.

"You found me here" you say. Your brother, kept  bickering with you but you stood your ground. You notice jungkook chuckle at your bickering.

"It's fine maybe she's watching a good movie " jungkook says pointing to the movie you're watching and stopping your pointless arguing.  Your brother sighs giving in, why didn't he just do that instead of arguing with you.

"Brought these" he hands you a bag and your brother a bag.

"What's this?" Your   brother asks.

"Just some snacks"

"Thanks bro"

You can hear them talk in the background as you open the bag jungkook gave to you. Immediately you open it the citrus smell hits your senses and you scoff. You reach into the bag and pull out a sandwich in a clear zip lock bag. You analyse the substance in-between the bread.

Scoff.

You roll your eyes at jk and find him looking at you,  winking when your eyes meet. You roll your eyes and scoff placing the bag onto your side. He really thinks you're gonna eat it, or make you like it. Instead you take the drink that was in the bag and take a sip of that instead.

You don't pay much attention to your brother and jungkook's conversation, your eyes focused on the screen. But your casually steal glances of jungkook hoping he doesn't notice.

Your attention is caught when you hear your brother mention a girls name. Seems like he's talking about a girl he has his eyes on. They keep talking about it for some time until you hear your brother say.

"What's the name of the girl you're fucking?"

The air in your lungs is swept out when your brother asks that question.  Is he talking about you? If he was he wouldn't look this chilled about it.  But you still feel kinda anxious cause what if jungkook says your name. So you look at him but he's eyes aren't on you but you feel like that grin on his face is directed to you.

"Yuji" your brother exclaims remembering the name. Jungkook turns to look at you with that smirk and watches how your face relaxes. He chuckles at that and turns back to your brother.

"Yeah that's her name"

"How is she"

"She's okay I guess. It's not like we're dating for me to care" jungkook leans back onto the couch.

"You and your fuckboy ways"

"Don't say it like that" jungkook chuckles "I'm not a fuck boy.  I just don't commit"

Your brother gives a whatever-you-say hum. You start to feel a little awkward and weird in the room. You know jungkook doesn't commit but being reminded of it causes a pinch in your chest. You know better than to think anything more of what you and jungkook do. But it still kind of affects you.

"You can keep your badboy persona as long as you leave my sister out of it" you roll your eyes, why does he treat you like a child. It's so irritating.

"Don't worry..." jungkook turns to look at you, gaze filled with nothing but mischief.

"I'd never fuck or date your sister"

-

"You're bad for not eating my sandwich."

Jungkook speaks through your speaker. His voice low and you know he's laid back on his bed shirtless while a movie plays in the background.  You know cause onetime on a video call he was in that same position,  very distracting position.

"But you knew I wouldn't eat it" you say playing with the strings of your pajama shorts.

"Yes but I had hope you never hated me enough to not eat it"

You can hear him shuffle against his sheets. You chuckle

"You put your hope in the wrong places jeon"

As simple as your words are and unbeknownst to you, those words find a way to jungkook's heart.

You were right he did put his hope in the wrong places,  he did it so many times and foolishly that he swore to himself he'd  ever place his hope anywhere again.

"Gone silent?" he didn't even realise that until you spoke.

"Fuck no.."

"You just talk a lot. Was hoping you'd shut up"

You laugh cause you know he's just joking with you.

"I'll never shut up"

"If I was there you would " you can hear his cheeky and playful tone. If he was here you'd definitely shut up, even from across the phone jungkook's words always seem to find you and cause a swarm of butterflies to swarm in your stomach.

"Fuck off: you manage to say trying to hide the excitement caused by his words.

"Wanna come over"  and the butterflies are buzzing at this point. You wanna say yes but you remember his statement earlier and you take this time to tease him.

"After you told my brother you'd never fuck his sister "

Jungkook's low and deep chuckle follows after and you feel the ripples it causes in you.

"What can I say...I'm a good liar"

"How do you think I'm able to keep our little secret?"

You roll your eyes at his cheeky and proud tone. He's so full of himself.

"I'll be there soon" you hear Jungkook hum before you cut the call and prepare an excuse like; I'm going to one of my friend's house. You don't even need to tell your brother where you're going but you do it just so he knows you're okay.

-

"I'd never fuck or date your sister"

"I'd never fuck or date your sister"

"I'd never fuck or date your sister"

Thay phrase has been playing on your mind quite often lately,  you don't even understand why. Would jungkook really never date, did he say that seriously or was he saying that just for your brother. You know jungkook doesn't date but if he did, Would he date you? That's all you wanna know it's not like you care but you just want to know if you're date-able in jungkook's eyes. That's all you wanna know. That all.

"So you won't eat my marmalade sandwich but you'll eat that " you hear a voice speak and you don't even have to turn to know who it's for. Instead you turn your eyes to what you assume the voice is talking about. A chocolate donut.

"Just tastes professionally made" you say finally turning to the man standing by the table. He's in black sweats and a black hoodie. He always looks so good in that hoodie.

"These hands are professional babe... and you should know that"

You scoff at that and wonder what he's doing here.  Since when does jungkook come to the café on a weekday.

"Maybe my marmalade isn't good?" he pouts. You know he's sad look is just a facade, jungkook never gets emotional around you and you're not sure how you'd handle it cause jungkook always seems like an emotionally well put together person and you admire that. He doesn't let things get to him or atleast he doesn't show it.

"Your marmalade isn't bad. I told you I just don't like marmalade" you take a sip of your coffee as jungkook watches you intently. His mind slips into a thought and he smirks at it before speaking.

"Why don't I show you how to make it and maybe you'd like it after" he straightens his figure making him appear even taller than he did before. Why is he so head in about making you like marmalade.

"At my place tonight" he says winking at you causing to smile.you wonder if he genuinely wants to teach you or its just an excuse to do your little shenanigans. You're still thinking about what he's just said and before you respond you're interrupted by a soft feminine voice calling out jungkook's name. He turns his to eyes the girl who latches herself onto jungkook's arm.

She smiles up at him and he smiles back at her.

"Okay maybe not tonight...but I'll text you when"

The smile you had on your face had been wiped off at this point. You didn't notice but you were glaring at the girl, if looks could kill she'd be dead. You're not sure what emotion is triggered in you but you know its not anything friendly. You were excited about the idea of going to jungkook's tonight and you were gonna tell him yes, after playing hard to get a bit. But this long haired mini skirt wearing chick has ruined it. Looking at her description, she must be yuri. Doesn't make anything better.

You hadn't responded to jungkook and the nudge on your shoulder reminds you to do so. You nod not saying anything, afraid that if you opened your mouth you'd spew profanities at her, so instead you just nod finally moving your burning gaze off of her. She hasn't noticed your look cause her eyes are either glued to her phone or to jungkook.  She can't even bother to introduce herself. BRAT .

"OKAY see ya marmalade girl " he says walking away with the girl arm in arm with the food they just ordered.

You scoff. And after you do that you catch yourself. Why does it bother you so much, you don't care you shouldn't care. It just makes you a little mad,  just a little.  But you shouldn't feel this way, it doesn't matter whatever you feel, jungkook is never gonna change his ways and you should get used to that if you're gonna keep fucking jungkook.

Sigh.

You wish you hadn't said yes. Maybe it would've been better if your brother found out than you having to feel these unknown and unspoken emotions. Which are one-sided.

-

You've been unconsciously and unwilling waiting for the text jungkook promised to send you. Well he didn't promise but it did feel like one.  He doesn't even need to call you over, it's okay if he's changed his mind. That's what you've been telling yourself.

Your heart has been on the edge this week, especially when you hear that little notification sound. But after two weeks, felt like forever, he finally seemed to remember his promise and texted you.

"Wash your hands" he says to you. "I don't know what you've been touching" you roll your eyes at him and glare at him. You should be the one telling him that. Seeing that you've been hearing  about him and yuri together.  You don't even mean to indulge yourself in rumours but you can't help it when you hear jungkook's name especially if it's side by side with a girl's name. Cause you might never know one day that girl's name might be yours and that's a day you dread. Even the thought causes your heart to physically ache.

Jungkook hands you an apron and you admire the little orange whirly pattern on it. Its so cute. Kinda reminds you of what a grandma would have in their kitchen.  You'd never pin jungkook as the type of person who would care about having to wear an apron whilst in the kitchen,  but by the look of things he looks like he takes it very seriously.

"Careful we don't want a bloody marmalade" he says noticing the way your hand slipped when cutting the orange.  You really hoped he didn't notice but he did. You aren't usually the nervous kind in the kitchen in most situations you're usually what jungkook is right now in the kitchen, the teacher. But you do feel nervous under jungkook's gaze currently,  that's what's making you so clumsy. He watches you so closely and you feel kinda suffocated by his presence even though he isn't standing so close to you. He doesn't need to be close to you to make you feel small and vulnerable under him.

"Why do you even like MARMALADE so much" its more of a rhetorical question to tease him for his interest in Marmalade so much.

"I don't know" he starts.

"It's just got a taste I can't find anywhere else" he whispers into your ear, you didn't even notice that he moved his lips to your ear, the waves of his sudden tone sending electric waves to your core. The way he says it so calm and sure almost like he's speaking to you but you know he's just talking about Marmalade.

You muster up the courage to only hum not knowing what might leave your mouth if you opened it. Maybe a plea for jungkook to just bend you over right here over his counter.

"Now that that you're done we can start" you didn't even realise you had finished,  you're pretty sure jungkook watched you peel air for some time before deciding that he was amused enough by your lost look. He can tell what you're thinking, he knows when you get like that. And he loved watching your mind get lost in thoughts cause of him. He loved how your pupils would distance and you'd bite your lower lip thinking about him, he knew you were thinking about him. But he'd never dare tell you he knows cause he's afraid you'd might get shy and stop doing it, he knows you get shy sometimes and he likes it especially when it's him you get really shy for.

But he thinks you're so cute when you get shy cause of him.

Has he ever told you that?

It wasn't long after jungkook set the jam to boil that he had you bent over the counter pounding into you mercilessly. He couldn't hold in the burning feeling inside his lower belly anymore, with the way that shirt is hugging your breasts and the way he's been wondering if you're wearing his favourite panties inside those sweats of yours. You were. He loves these panties he kinda felt sad at the thought of removing them. So he didn't. He rubbed your heat and fucked you with your panties on.

You never knew how much of a turn on it was until now. Being bent over with your panties still on your face against his cold marble counter as he fucks into you.

A taste I can't find anywhere else.

He keeps thinking about that as you clench around him soon milking him for all he's got. Your little whimpers and whines guiding his movements.  He smirks as pride rushes through his veins at your occasional call of his name.

-

"Since when do you like MARMALADE?" Your brother asks you watching as you place the little jar into the fridge.

"I don't like it, jk just gave me some of what w-he made... I'm not even going to eat it" you close the fridge, turning to face your brother who shrinks his eyes at you.

"Did you know jungkook makes marmalade?" You say chuckling remembering your reaction to when you first found out.

"I did " he says not sounding as enthusiastic or excited like you, then you realise you probably shouldn't be so excited about anything to do with jungkook in front of your brother.

"I'd never say this to his face but even though I don't like it, I think it tastes quite good." You shrug in your own thoughts.

He watches you like a detective trying to decipher your facial expression. He doesn't think much of it only wondering why you're getting marmalade from jungkook or how you even got to find out that he makes marmalade.

"Are you hanging out with jk now?" The question comes out sharp and brutal and it snaps you out of your thoughts,  you turn to your brother who has his hands folded in suspicion.

"He just gave me some marmalade. What's the big deal?" You shrug it off hoping he doesn't pry. Did you fuck this up for you and jungkook.

"Don't get too close to him. He might be my friend but he will fuck you over if you get too comfortable" you know he's saying this cause he just cares about you and is trying to protect you. But he doesn't need to protect you from jungkook, you don't think jungkook would fuck you over like that. He might not be the most affectionate or open but you doubt he'd ever fuck you over. He's not like the other fuck boys you know, he's not even a fuck boy in your opinion.

But you do understand where your brother is coming from.

"I'm not even talking to him in that way. I don't even talk to him" your face grows sadder cause your brother is right, you can't put all your trust into jungkook, like you did the others, he might end up fucking you over too.

"That's how it starts. Plus he's my friend not yours" he says coldly as he walks out, his words prick at your heart and you're reminded of your place.

You never actually thought you and jungkook would come this far with your fucking around,  you thought it'd be a one time thing but it ended up not being that.

Do you regret it? No.

You just hate how the after effects feel, the realisation and the effort you have to put in to hide it from your brother. It's been such a burden on you lately on your heart causing you to feel things you can't explain. You just wish jungkook wasn't your Brother's friend. In another universe maybe. 

That night while having your nightly thoughts you got a text from jungkook.

[Jk] have you tried it yet?

You were glad that he was the one to text you in that moment especially with the way you're feeling, it's like he knows. But that's what you think he probably doesn't know and is texting you oblivious to your racing mind that always seemed to be calmed down by his presence even though he was the reason why your mind has been going crazy nowadays.

[You] Not yet.

you text back as soon as you can.

[Jk] why not?

[Jk] are you waiting to try it together?😏

And there goes the blush on your cheeks and the butterflies in your stomach.

[You] That doesn't sound like a bad idea.

you hope you sound confident through this text cause you aren't feeling quite like it while sending it.

[Jk] should we the next time we hang out?

Hang out? He honestly shouldn't even call it a hangout cause you do anything but hangout. Maybe he should call it a pending fuck session.

[You] sure that will be great.

you hope you don't sound desperate.

[You] and can you send me a written recipe

you've wanted him to send you one for some time you don't even know why cause you aren't even interested in Marmalade.

[Jk] is marmalade girl interested in making marmalade🤨

You can hear his mocking tone from behind that text and you scoff sending him the rolling eyes emoji.

[You] No

[You] Just wanna know how to just in case

[Jk] just in case what?

You feel the conversation turn a little emotional.

[You] just in case I wanna practice making it and you aren't around.

That's bullshit and you know it, you never plan on making marmalade you just said that cause you don't have an excuse for that message you sent. Its like marmalade is the only way you'll ever get to know more about jungkook and so you're gonna use it. You should honestly take heed of the warnings your brother gave you.

Don't get too comfortable.

Honestly you shouldn't why the fuck do you even want to know more about jungkook. You should honestly just stick to fucking and calling it a night its always been better that way.  You're not sure what other problems might arise from trying to get to know jungkook.

[Jk] I'm always gonna be around y/n

You'd honestly forgotten you were even talking about marmalade so when he said they it made a pull at a usual spot in your heart. A spot you left untouched and bruised.

[You] too sweet, you'll make it spoil

(Its a jam joke) you try and set the scene back to a comfortable and unserious one.

You know jungkook gets the joke when he sends you the laughing emoji

[Jk] I'll send you the recipe

[Attachment sent]

Open

Firstly peel your freshly washed oranges...

Taglist: @skzthinker @kissyfacekoo @ohsweetmimosa @httpjeonlicious

[sinvilles]

Gathering my thoughts: Danielle Stopframe analysis

also like. I'm not concerned with whether any character in the series was "redeemed" or not. the show was cut in half, and so was every character arc. hence we end up with a show that got cancelled when all the main characters were at their lowest point of development in the narrative, and all the surrounding characters getting half developed to a point of mild satisfaction.

Danielle seems to get the least amount of interest when it comes to what makes him tick. He's a favorite of mine because of all the characters in Moralton, he's one of the few who is very unashamed of who he is and wears it on his sleeve. And I like that his weird presence is built up from the very start of the series. He's over the assumptions of others, and chooses to be himself, which in a show where the major theme is repression juxtaposes him as a foil to the rest of the town.

I wanted to make a mental inventory of this character, starting with some of his personality traits:

The Coach

Danielle is a body builder, and athletic coach to both adults and children. He's coached tennis, track, plays golf, figure skates- he understands discipline, long-term goal setting and is patient enough to work with others to achieve what they're trying to get. Being good with kids has nothing to do with it- its all about being consistent and doing it every day. He seems to approach everything like this- more of that obsession quality. Though he's not beyond trying to perform witchcraft to speed thing up a bit when he gets impatient.

He doubles as your typical gym bunny gay man. Self eroticized, willing to do anything to achieve that romanticized ideal. This brings us to the next bit.

Narcissistic qualities (classic + clinical)

Stopframe is obsessed with appearances. Good appearances means discipline to him, which might be what attracted him to Clay in the first place. But its all very surface level of course. When he sees people without discipline- like the hedonistic satanists, many of whom were overweight- their indulgence, both sexual and gluttonous, turned him off so hard he called it a night and went home. Which is funny coming from the guy with a piss kink.

"Sorry Clay, its just not worth it."

It echoes back later, when he throws out Clay's picture the moment he calls him up for a nightcap at midday. It seems he was either unaware of the extent of Clay's alcoholism or that it had never been that bad up until that point. I think the latter is more likely, since Clay's drinking isn't as pathological throughout the series until we get to Nature. Also suggests to me that Clay, while already having drinking problems prior, started drinking more after he met Danielle. We do see Stopframe say he's "better when he drinks" at least once, and Clay can only really go out and see him at Forghetty's. But this is a tangent for a Clay alcoholism analysis.

He cares very little for his family- Shapey is little more than a long distance trophy to him. I guess. I think. Shapey hugged him that time so I wonder if he ever gives him presents or comes to his birthdays (he was at Orel's). He only spends time with Joe when he's foisted upon him, otherwise ignoring him. He assumes he isn't any good with children, I think because he dislikes Joe's attitude.

A big reason I think his development is unfinished- and this is under the lens of character arcs as want vs need, where getting something they needed makes the character whole- is that we don't see him own up to the fact that he's as flawed as anybody else. He admits he has a problem, but he didn't find the root of it- namely that real love involves accepting the flaws of others and choosing to be there for them anyway. He didn't even own up to disrupting the Puppington home, which he had done intentionally and calculatingly for years. All interesting paths for his character.

Person Addiction

Danielle, much like Clay, has an addiction. It's a lesser known thing called Limerence, or "Person Addiction". Not everyone is aware it's even a thing- some people go through it once in their life, some people cycle through it over and over. There are people who mistake it for love. Scott Adsit once mentioned in a promo that Stopframe is "obsessed with Clay because he hasn't slept with him"- it's one way to describe it, specifically the way a lot of men tend to experience it. Having been through it once I can say with full clarity that it makes you feel temporarily insane and can mirror both anxious attachment and OCD. Realistically, it only feels much creepier than it actually is, because very few who go through it in real life ever want to indulge it the way Stopframe does- pictures everywhere, seducing the guy's wife, fathering a child with her just to insert his DNA into their family, so that Clay raises HIS son alongside his own... absolutely cuckoo bird. Even the part where he says Bloberta is only sexy by her association to Clay- that is the logic that person addiction runs on. Because Clay is literally a hit to him, he gets an oxytocin high from being near him or thinking about him. When he's away from Clay he goes through a withdrawal, sitting alone in the shower and holding himself. Clay is his worst habit.

So, walk with me… his plan to sleep with Clay involves sleeping with his wife first. Because if she commits infidelity, what's to stop Clay from doing it? and then he just has to wait years for the ball to drop and for Clay to eventually walk out. He has no problem fixating on this for almost a decade, but actively puts off ever interacting with Clay until the first episode of the series- even then its just to watch him piss on the wall, and then walk away. He avoids knowing Clay, because I think for a long time he's afraid of ruining the idea he has of him in his head- the idealized Clay that doesn't exist, the built up image. This is not to say that Limerence doesn't happen if you know the person well (its worse somehow), but he's able to easily quit him the moment that Orel tells him what Clay is really like.

Loneliness

It's not easy being queer in a place like Moralton. For one, the gay dating pool must be tiny since so many would be in the closet, or move out altogether. The culture is so 50s adjacent he might have to limit himself to cruising public bathrooms or exchanging letters long distance- its no wonder he fixated on Clay. Something about it might feel "safe" to him, compared to actively getting to know somebody. I don't think he has a problem getting laid so much as a problem connecting to others, which was why it was so sweet to see him make an effort to have a fun day with Orel in the finale.

Family

I might be in the minority on this but I don't think Stopframe is related to Bendy. If the Secondopinionsons wanted to keep Joe's mother a secret they needed to fully cut ties with anyone in her family- and she was a child at the time, so some hush money was definitely involved, maybe enough to send her to nursing school. For Stopframe to be babysitting Joe, he'd have to be in the immediate family of his father- the fact that he has a different name is of interest to me, and the fact that he's so much younger than Dr. Secondopinionson. He could very well have been a bastard child who either changed his name later or was raised primarily by and named after an unwed mother- perpetuating the cycle with Shapey so to speak.

The Romantic Agnostic

He's a big fan of Gothic Erotica, and vampires. Big on fantasizing. Open to trying anything. He is wishy washy on the topic of religion, switching from worshipping God to Satan on a whim. Makes sense, if God loves all his children, but hates homosexuality, and Satan hates all humanity, and loves homosexuality- you've got a 50% chance of pleasing either. I think he probably loves Halloween.

andddd thats all I got

[thezombieprostitute]

Dream Come True - Part 2

Summary: The “Garbage Men” are the guys in the mob who get the dirt on others and clean up after the higher ups. They have many different ways of gathering intel by running legitimate businesses. One such business is Jefferson/Jensen’s cyber cafe where you regularly go to work. You’ve actually become good friends with Jefferson’s daughter and Jensen’s niece. You even volunteered as their after-school tutor. One day, there’s a robbery attempt where you get hurt protecting the girls. This is how you are introduced to Curtis Everett, the guy in charge of the “Garbage Men”.

A/N: Reader is plus sized, femme. No other descriptors used.

Warnings: Shooting mentioned, not written. American healthcare system. Insecure reader. Bullying with an emphasis on fat shaming. Please let me know if I miss any!

Part 1 -- Part 3

Series Masterlist

It's only been a few days but you find yourself unable to follow the advice of the medical staff and get some rest. Your brain won't let you. You've got budgets to consider, a resume to update, and follow up appointments to schedule. Thankfully when Jake and Jefferson had brought the girls for a visit they made sure to bring your laptop.

Because you hated not knowing, you opted to spend your time researching to see about how much you might be getting from that back-pay promised by Curtis. Jefferson had assured you that Curtis did, in fact, have that kind of pull but "please don't dig too much into it." You got the impression not everything was on the up-and-up but you have bills to pay so you agreed.

On day four you got a notice of deposit from your bank. You took a look and your jaw dropped. That couldn't be right! You'd done the research. There's no way even an experienced, highly qualified tutor would ever be earning that much! There must've been a mistake! You immediately make a note to tell someone who knows Curtis.

Curtis and Mace were going through their weekly itineraries. Between the two of them nothing got lost. Mace would, occasionally, grumble about needing a vacation but the two of them were the only people who keep all the moving pieces in mind.

"At least we can check a few things off the list this week," Curtis grunted. "Hal's got the bugs planted in the Smith law building. Jake's confirmed they're working."

"Fowler confirmed McMann won't be a problem," Mace reported. "Apparently the guy's busy trying to hunt down the guy that ran away with his wife."

Curtis chuckled at that. "That was Nat, right?"

Mace smiled, "yeah. Nat called "dibs" and we didn't have a counterargument."

"McMann's gonna spend a long time searching," Curtis shakes his head. "Nat's the best at not being found when she doesn't want to be."

"And the Missus is definitely better off," Mace agreed. "Nat's setting her up for life."

"That reminds me," Curtis interjected. "How's the back-pay for Hero doing?"

Mace double checked a few things on his phone before replying, "it's been deposited into her account."

"Good. One more thing we can cross off the list."

"Not yet, actually," Mace hesitated. Curtis gave him a curious look. "Turns out, she's trying to get ahold of you to talk about the amount. Beck says she's adamant that it's too much."

"Huh," Curtis's eyebrows raised. "There's something you don't hear every day. I'll talk to Barber and got some legal-ese that'll explain without explaining."

Mace nods and the two continue their meeting, switching to ongoing tasks.

"Excuse me?" It's been a few days since the money hit your account and you've finally gotten a visit from Curtis.

They kept you at the hospital longer because your stress levels made it "irresponsible" for Dr. Beck to discharge you, lest you have a heart attack as soon as you get outside. At this point you're certain Dr. Beck wants to get as much money from your stay as he can. Everyone who visits, however, says otherwise.

"Hazard pay," Curtis patiently repeated. "That's why there's so much more money than you expected."

"You can't expect me to believe that!" You are indignant. "That's not how hazard pay works. I've done my research Mr. um, Mr." you pause because you realize you don't know his last name. You feel the pang of embarrassment because you've been saying you've done your research but you don't know something as simple as a last name! You push past it and continue, "I've done my research, sir!"

You open up your laptop and bring up all of your documents of notes, focusing in on the bibliography. "I've got data from reputed tutoring websites, the Department of Labor, Glassdoor, even the Bureau of Labor Statistics, and none of them support the amount I was given."

Curtis finds himself smiling. He's been talked back to plenty of times, but never like this. "You're cute," he blurts out.

Thinking he's making fun of you, you look away from him and try not to show too much hurt. Curtis assures, "I'm not saying that to belittle you. You really have put a lot of work into this."

You shake your head, "it's besides the point, sir. You've grossly overpaid me. I know you've overpaid me. Yet you are refusing to acknowledge this."

"That's partly because I'm not sure why it's such a big deal to you," he calmly states.

"Because I don't want to cheat you!"

"Are you saying there's a price limit for saving my nieces?"

"I mean, technically there is. Could probably use some actuarial tables used in life insurance policies to find it out." Curtis gives you a hard glare but you persist, "I'm not saying that your nieces aren't priceless. I'm saying that I don't want to take what isn't mine. This is a lot of money and I don't want you going hungry or something because you feel you owe me when you don't. I only did what any decent person would do!"

"It's been my experience that decent people are rarities," Curtis stated. "As such they, and by extension you, should be treated well and given plenty."

"That's another part of the problem," you sighed. "I have not been told anything specific but I've seen and heard enough to suspect that this money might not be... legitimate."

Curtis's jaw tensed up. He'd have to have a word with the J's about being more careful. "I assure you," he nearly growled, "that the money you received was honestly earned by us and then you. All tax forms have been taken care of. All employment paperwork is settled."

You meet his gaze, undeterred by the intensity in his eyes. You see no signs of trickery. Nothing in those icy blue eyes indicating he was hiding the truth from you. You nod your acceptance and he relaxes a bit.

"Now," he says in a much lighter tone, "was there anything else?"

"Um, just one," you replied. "You said that I'm officially employed? That you might have more work for me? Who am I employed by and what other work should I be ready for?"

"The official name of my company is Everett Enterprises," he explained. "That's the company title on your W-2. As for the "other work" that was implied, it's simply a notice that I may have other employees in need of a tutor. I know Hal has been looking at getting his GED."

"So all you would need from me is more tutoring?"

Curtis can hear the tremor in your voice. You're a good person who doesn't want to get mixed up in anything illegal and he's happy to accommodate that. "Yes," he asserts. "Though that may involve helping some of my people learn how to cite their sources like you did."

That gets a half smile from you and Curtis considers the conversation done. "Now please follow the doctor's orders and rest up," he pleads. As he turns to leave he says, "make sure to get your beauty sleep."

Because he's facing away he doesn't see your face fall at the comment.

Part 1 -- Part 3

Tagging @alicedopey because I promised I would.

@dontbescaredtosingalong

@icefrozendeadlyqueen

@texmexdarling

@veltana

@winter-soldier-101

Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

[firstfirerebel]

𝕋𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕥𝕠𝕣

Sumary: When Levi was forced to join the Survey Squad, he left someone behind, someone who had grown to hate him since then...

(Levi was forced to join the Survey Squad by Erwin, that's also why I don't like the ship Eruri [I love both, but together it's just toxic])

Pairing: Levi x fem! Reader

Warnings: Mention of abusive childhood, many traumas (bullying, mental abuse,...), angst, hurt

Years have passed since you last saw him. The guy you grew up with, and the guy who betrayed you.

Growing up was hard for both of you. You had more luck with the standard of the family, but still, your life was hard. Being the kid of two people who hated each other and only communicated by yelling and fighting wasn't exactly a good place for a child.

People around you always found something to mock and bully you. Kids your age were the worst. Except for him, you met Levi when you were forced to go to a club with your so-called father.

He never stopped drinking, so you just went to search for a silent corner to wait till this horror was over. But the only place that was at least a little bit calm was occupied with a dark-haired slim boy.

"Family problems?", you asked him.

"Something like that," he awnserd, and you silently walked towards and sat beside him.

"Wanna talk?,"

He shook his head for a 'No', which you totally got. You also wouldn't want to tell a literal stranger your deepest and darkest secrets, but on the other hand, letting it out would be better. It seemed like your whole life purpose was to hold the burdens of your family, no matter if you could take it or not.

"What's your name? I'm (Y/n). My siblings wanted that to be my name. It's ugly. I know,"

"Levi," he awnserd short and quietly.

"You know, my father is a lot here. It would be nice to have someone here I could spend my time with. Would you mind?",

He just blinked, which you got as a sign that he didn't care. But you weren't someone to give up just like that. Otherwise, you might have never managed to survive.

Breaking the ice was hard when it came to this boy, but after a few times of being there, he even told you that he actually liked your name and thought it was pretty. A little while after that, you caught him crying because some neighbor kids made fun of him (this was before his mother died, so he didn't know how to defend himself cause no Kenny). Those weren't new for you. They also constantly mocked you.

"Hey! Three against one? You're cowards!" After you managed to distract them from Levi, you tricked them into believing you went home when you really went to search for your friend.

You found him leaning onto a brick wall and sat beside him in silence.

"Thanks, but why did you do that?",

"Because it's OK if they make fun of me, but not if they make fun of my friends. I don't care what they do to me. I look out for you. And I know you look out for me. That's what friends are there for,"

Since that incident, nothing parted you guys. You even switched your birth necklaces to show that you were connected. But everything good must come to an end.

When his mother died, you didn't see him for weeks, so when you went to look for him, you met his uncle Kenny. You both pep him up again, and since your family didn't care about you, you decided to be with Levi since he needed someone after losing his mother.

Kenny taught you how to defend and provide for yourself, but that was it. He left you when you had learned it all.

"Even if he's gone now, we still have each other. Nothing really bad can happen to us as long as we have each other,"

It was you. Always you. You were the one who comforted him when he had to deal with shit. You were there for him to fix what society broke. And even after you allied with others, you two were the closest. No one could come in between.

That's what you thought.

After your team took Isabel in, you thought it would only become better. She even called Levi, her big brother, to his annoyance. It was like a sting right to your heart. But Isa didn't know what you both had gone through together, so you felt guilty of feeling this way. Besides her seeing him like her brother, didn't mean you were replaced! Your bond was stronger than that of siblings or lovers. Once you swore to never let anything part you, you'd never be separated, never.

Until one order changed everything.

You thought it was the Military Squad, but nope, it was the Survey Squad. You were the only one who managed to get away. But you watched from a distance how a soldier pushed Levi into a puddle of mud that had the consistency of water. Hell for him...

But when you went to go closer to hear what they were saying. You only heard Levis annoyed:"I'll join the Survey Squad."

A punch into your guts. He'd leave the underground. He'd leave you! Breaking the promise HE made you. And for joining a squad?!

You weren't someone who cried. When your whole body was covered in bruises because of a fight that didn't go as planned, no tear. Your family yelling and insulting you, no sob. But now your eyes became watery, and your vision blurry. It felt as if you were suffocated. Breathing was almost impossible.

As if the whole ground you believed to be steady and safe just tore open to devour you.

No, you wouldn't cry! Not because of him and especially not while still seeing him.

A few weeks after that, you luckily met Kenny again. It was more like he found you.

Since that scene, it was like you had to go through every trauma you experienced again, but this time on your own without someone at your side. Kenny told you of his new job at the Military Squad and that he could need a tough girl like you.

Training and years in hiding. That was your whole life from then on. With nothing on your mind, then to finally throw this damn birth necklace of him away. It was your kind of connection, your bond, after all.

Allying with the man that once left you and him. Just to tell humanitys strongest soldier one thing.

And finally, the day came. The Survey Squad decided to turn against the Military Squad. And that was your and Kenny's time.

Fighting your way to his side, just to slowly rip his birth necklace off your neck, look at him with disgust, and throw it into a mud puddle before his feet. With one word on your lips.

"Traitor"

[thatgirlwithasquid]

Dear Moor Monster of Mine

3,424 words || read on ao3

I've been meaning to write a wolfblood harringrove au for so very long, so I'm glad that the @harringrove-relay-race gave me the push I needed to finally put my ideas down!

This is the first chapter. The full fic will be up on my AO3, but I didn't want to post too much here haha :)

---

Since the series of incidents last year, Steve’s parents have been keeping an unbearably close eye on him. If you had asked Steve perhaps three years ago, he would have been overjoyed with having his parents around all the time. But, right now, making his walk of shame from the car park where his mam dropped him off to the school’s doors, he can’t bring himself to feel anything other than frustrated.

Instead of travelling away on one of their monthly ‘work conferences’, Steve’s parents have taken to staying home month-round. That now includes the full moons. 

When Steve was little he used to hate that his mam and dad left him home alone for such an important day. Sure, they made sure to get nice babysitters or arrange sleepovers for him with Tommy and Carol, but all he had wanted was to share that experience with them. It didn’t matter that he knew he couldn’t do the transformation yet and so couldn’t fully understand it all, they were still his pack and it felt like they just didn’t want to share something that fundamental to wolfblood life with him.

It was isolating and upsetting, no matter how many kisses or how much quality time his parents would try to repay him with upon their return. He just wanted to spend those days with them. But now? Now he would much rather be left alone to watch movies, hang out with his friends, and not have his trainers chewed-through by his mam’s overeager wolf self.

“Nice wellies, Stevie!” Tommy calls out from across the yard as Steve passes by.

“Yeah yeah, laugh it up,” he huffs, striding on past to where Nancy and Jonathan are already waiting. 

Nancy doesn’t so much as spare him a glance as he comes to a squeaking standstill in front of them. She only manages a distracted ‘Hi, Steve’ as she continues flipping through her bag, clearly looking for something.

“Morning,” he answers anyway before turning to Jonathan.

He’s not looking at Steve either, too distracted by sending his choice of footwear a confused look.

“Planning on trekking through the woods later?” he asks by way of greeting.

“Monsters ate my shoes, had to make do with these instead.”

That makes Nancy’s head finally shoot up. For a moment, she gapes at him, flustered and speechless, before she composes herself with a sigh and a shake of her head. 

It’s then that she straightens up, shrugging her bag higher on her shoulder and brushing her hair back behind her ear. It opens her back into the group from where she had otherwise been sequestered off in her own mind. Steve grins at her.

“Don’t joke about stuff like that when Barb’s around,” she reminds him, expression friendly even in spite of her reproach.

“Don’t joke about what when I’m around?”

Well speak of the devil.

They all turn to Barb as she settles herself into their circle. Jonathan and Nancy look pained but Steve just throws an arm around her shoulder, pulling her into a squeezing sideways hug.

“Nothing,” he dismisses. “Just the photography club.”

Barb rolls her eyes, leaning back in Steve’s hold to send him a look that says she doesn’t quite believe him. She doesn’t shrug out of his hold, though, and that might be enough to lighten his petulant mood. The pair of them have come a long way since the whole drama around him and Nancy dating, which is something he’s very glad for.

Losing Tommy and Carol as friends stung, no matter how much he knew it was probably for the best; they weren’t very nice people and being around that sort of character wasn’t doing him any favours, but they had been his friends for years. But cutting himself loose from them, and by apologising properly to Jonathan for being nasty about his brother going missing and to Barb for being such a douche, did bring him into a much nicer friend group.

“You’re not still on about that, are you?” Barb asks him.

“Always,” he replies with a grin, raising his brows. 

Okay, maybe he’s not fully lost all his douchey-ness, but at least now he can argue it’s just part of his charm. Barb just shakes her head and accepts it with a fond roll of her eyes. 

“You already have your own camera,” Steve continues, turning now to address Jonathan, “so it’s not like you need it to be a school club.”

“Yeah, but it’s nice for it to be.”

“Fine, but I still think I deserve more credit for joining.”

“You only put your name down on some paper,” Nancy points out, smiling indulgently at him.

“And wasn’t that to make up for you smashing my camera?” Jonathan pipes up.

Steve cups a hand over his heart with a wounded expression.

“Wow, I see how it is. And, for the record—” he drops his hold on Barb to lean in and jab a finger into Jonathan’s chest “—I replaced that camera, as you should all know. You use it all the time for your stupid club. And what’s the point of the school supplying you with stuff if you bring your own in anyway?”

No one humours that with a response. That’s fine, they’ve gone over this bickering a hundred times before. Steve only really brings it up to wind them up now—all in good humour! At the end of the day, he’s fine with being an on-paper member of their club if it helps them out or whatever, especially since he knows that the Photography Club is Jonathan’s favourite thing about school.

He owes them all as much as well, for continuing to let him hang around. They let him off the hook for last year with less grovelling than was probably deserved.

“Ah,” Barb jumps in. “Speaking of photography… you’ve got to see what I found this morning on the moors.”

She unearths her phone from her bag and Steve winces. Sure, it’s only been about a year that he’s known Barb, but he really has come to like her. 

The whole of Hawkins High has always known about her monster on the moors theory—hell, the whole town probably does—and Steve had laughed at it back then, like everyone else, but now Barb is his friend… It leaves a bit of a sour taste in his mouth to think of the way he’d acted about that before, and the way others still act now.

It was arrogance, that sort of reaction. Thinking he was better than her because of her theories. And it was him in particular who was more arrogant than anyone else, hiding behind it to ignore that twinge of anxiety. It was easier to dismiss it all as ridiculous. Steve hadn’t quite been cruel enough to laugh in her face, but he’d still snickered behind his hands with Tommy and Carol before him and Nancy had gotten together early last year. 

Now that he knows Barb, it’s definitely worse. With him being around her so often, it feels like he’s waiting for her to look at him a little too closely and see just what lies beneath the surface. And that’s something he really doesn’t want, not just for his own safety.

They had to come a long way to get to where they stand now, but she’s undoubtedly one of his closest friends. Her, Nancy and Jonathan. All three of them—despite their rocky time when Steve had thought Nancy was cheating on him with Jonathan—are the people he cares about most in this world. 

He really doesn’t want Barb’s obsession with her own ghost story to get in between them all, he couldn’t handle it if they decided he was still a monster even after everything.

“See?” Barb asks, shoving the screen of her cellphone in their faces.

On it, clear as day, is the photo of a paw print. Realistically, it could be anything so it shouldn’t matter… but Steve can’t help the small shudder of anxiety in his chest. It doesn’t even make sense! His parents couldn’t have been up in the moors to leave that—he would know—and there’s no other wolfbloods around for miles of their territory, so it’s got to be an animal. 

And yet.

“Um… What… is it?” Jonathan asks. “Just a paw print?”

Barb huffs, turning to show Nancy instead, who gives the photo a more genuinely intrigued look.

“ ‘Just a paw print’,” Barb grumbles. “This is proof.”

“It could be,” Nancy says, and Steve can tell that she’s serious. “I could also be a fox or something—”

“Yeah, or a stray dog,” Jonathan suggests.

Barb looks at Steve pleadingly, but there’s nothing he can say. He knows this isn’t what Barb wants it to be. It can’t be.

“We need more concrete evidence,” Nancy consoles her instead.

“But this still proves something,” Barb insists. “That there’s something up there.”

“Hey, Barbara!” Carol calls.

The group of them all turn to see Carol, Tina and Vicki walking up behind them.

“I saw something weird on the moors: you.”

The others snicker as they push past, making their way inside. Steve shoots them a sour look as they strut past.

“Whatever, Carol,” Jonathan sighs, never having enough energy to deal with her dramatics.

Steve can’t blame him, it seems impossible that he had been able to get used to what they were like.

“Ignore her,” Nancy tells Barb.

“I will. We’ll show her when we end up being right.”

Nancy nods with an unsettling certainty.

—

Walking in to their form room would be the same as usual were it not for the folder of posters Nancy finally unearths from her bag. She leafs through them, splitting the pile into smaller ones to hand to each of them. Steve accepts his own with a begrudging confusion, peering down at the sign-up sheets and trusting the others to guide his way through the halls.

“When did you have time to print these off?” he asks.

“I came in early,” Nancy tells him with a shrug. “My parents wanted me to show Mike around on his first day anyway, so I was in early.”

Steve hums.

“That’s right, you two—” he gestures between Jonathan and Nancy “—have your brothers starting year 7 now, right?”

Jonathan nods to him; “That’s right.”

They turn a corner, heading towards the stairs up to Mrs Click’s room.

“Why don’t you just get them to sign up for your club, then? They’re nerds. That way you won’t need to stick these up around school.”

Barb rolls her eyes as Steve reaches over her to wave his stack under Nancy’s nose. The brunette just bats him away with an unimpressed look.

“I don’t think they’d find that particularly… cool,” Jonathan answers in her stead, “hanging out with their older siblings.”

Steve shrugs. He can’t say he can relate, being an only child, but whatever, he can see where they’re coming from. 

Barb and Nancy are debating the best ways to go about getting new members for the photography club when Steve goes rigid. They take a few more steps before they realise he’s fallen behind and then, with curious eyes, turn back to call out to him.

Steve doesn’t hear a word of it. Something’s off.

An unusual scent roots him to the spot. He doesn’t know what it is—or maybe he does, but it can’t possibly be what he thinks. All he knows is that this has never been here before, and it shocks him with a deep sense of wrongness. It doesn’t belong there.

He needs to root it out.

An instinctive territoriality spurs him onwards, picking up his pace until his friends are following after him with confused shouts. He needs to find whatever left that scent throughout the school. It’s like he can see it, a trail of scent in the air guiding him to whoever or whatever left it.

“Steve?” Nancy is calling. “Steve!”

He just keeps moving, feet carrying him onwards. Turning down hall after hall, paying no attention to the loitering students he shoulders past. 

“Steve, you’re going the wrong way,” he thinks that might be Jonathan this time.

The bell rings and more students hurry through the corridor, dispelling the scent trail. If Steve had gone through his first transformation by now, he’d probably still be able to track down whoever left it from the lingering traces, but with his senses not being fully developed yet…

He stands still dumbly, staring ahead with a sense of uselessness. The wolf instinct within him feels unappeased.

“C’mon,” Jonathan coaxes, leading him back over to where Barb and Nancy stand looking concerned. “We’ve got class.”

It’s probably lucky for them all that the scent trail Steve was following didn’t create too big of a detour. As it stands, they get into Mrs Click’s class for form in the nick of time. The woman stands up at the front of the room, talking to an unfamiliar head of blonde curls.

At first, Steve notices nothing askew—Mrs Click is talking to the new student about how she is their form tutor and head of year—but then it washes over him. The adrenaline of nearly being late to his first lesson fades and that scent steals his attention again. 

He freezes in where he’s stepped aside to allow Barb to shuffle into their shared desk, eyes swivelling to that new figure. Now that he’s paying attention, it’s like the scent itself is visible in the air, clouding around him with that cloying wrongness and announcing to the world how wrong his presence here is.

There’s a cocksure smirk on his face that makes Steve’s lip curl in disdain, an instinctual need to snarl and warn off the outsider barely suppressed.

“Everyone, this is William Hargrove—”

“Billy,” the new kid buts in. “It's Billy.”

A chorus of ooohs rise from the room, students goading on the attitude shown to their teacher. For her credit, Mrs Click takes it in stride. Instead, she nods and turns to settle the class.

“Okay,” she says, raising her voice over the beginnings of chatter. “That’s enough, thank you…”

But Steve is barely listening. It’s like everything else fades away and his focus narrows down to this William—Billy—still standing at the front of the class. Like Steve’s whole world is overtaken by the beating of his heart and the inescapable smell of him, a smell that’s so familiar. Familiar in a way that has his hackles rising in unease. It’s almost like…

“You smell like my parents,” Steve blurts out, and the rest of the class starts laughing.

Nancy reaches over from her and Jonathan’s desk to yank him down into his seat by the hem of his jumper’s sleeve. She shoots him an unimpressed look as Mrs Click scolds him:

“Alright, Harrington. Sit down.”

Steve barely hears any of them, barely notices any of it. Billy’s eyes had locked on to his, deep and blue and endless. It felt like Steve was falling into them, diving head-first into their emptiness where Billy would eat him alive. 

“Steve,” Barb whispers, jabbing him with an elbow. 

It’s only then that Steve realises he’s been watching Hargrove as he walks over to an empty seat at the very back of the room. 

“What’s gotten into you?” she asks, sounding concerned.

“Nothing,” he dismisses, trying to turn and give her his full attention. “It’s nothing.”

He can’t get involved, not after everything. Steve has been working so hard to prove to his parents and his friends—hell, even to Tommy and Carol as they watch with a smug anticipation for his downfall—that he’s not the guy he used to be. That’s something he can’t just throw away by causing problems with the new kid, even if he’s breaking every rule Steve has ever known.

There’s no question that this Billy is a wolfblood like he is, like his family is. The question is what is he doing here? One doesn’t just set up themselves on some other pack’s territory, and the Harringtons have held the territory around Hawkins for centuries. 

By showing up here, Billy is throwing everything off balance, but Steve can’t risk doing anything about it. Not now, not like this. As much as Steve wants to step up and scare him off, this is something he’s going to have to leave to his parents to deal with.

Even as he feels the itch of Billy’s eyes on the back of his neck, Steve keeps on looking ahead.

—

Billy, so it seems, takes no time to settle into Hawkins. By the time lunch rolls around, he’s already settled himself pride of place between Tommy and Carol, a wolfish curl to his grin that flashes just a hint of canine. It’s so outlandishly taunting that Steve has to sit with his back to their table to avoid staring at his sheer gall.

Nancy and Jonathan are discussing the school paper when Steve decides he can’t stand this silence anymore. He tears his head around from looking over his shoulder after Billy’s eyes catch his and his smirk seems to dim.

“Where the hell did he even come from?” he asks, cutting off Jonathan’s suggestion about… actually Steve isn’t sure, something about a book of the week.

“Who?” Nancy asks and Steve jerks his head back to where Billy now keeps sending glances his way. 

He can feel the others’ gaze on him, like someone is brushing his fur the wrong way. 

“Billy,” he says, trying with great difficulty to keep his tone neutral. “Someone must have seen something. Moving vans or something. Anything.”

Jonathan just shrugs.

“Not that I heard. Seems like everyone’s interested in him now, though.”

Steve looks around again in time to see Tina and Vicki settle themselves in the seats opposite Billy and Carol, effectively severing Steve’s line of sight. He huffs and turns back around. At the very least, them blocking the way soothes that feeling of being observed.

When he meets her eye, Nancy has a concerned look on her face.

“Leave it Steve,” she warns, voice carefully neutral. “You don’t want to get caught up in any trouble again.”

He hears what she’s saying, even if she won’t just come out with it. 

I won’t put up with you if you act like an asshole again.

It rankles him. It’s not even like it’s him doing anything wrong here! He almost wants to tell her that, to point out that for once he’s not just being an asshole, but doesn’t dare. He can’t, he reminds himself.

He couldn’t tell Tommy and Carol—probably for the best given their massive fall out—and so he can’t tell these guys either. No matter what. Which means he just has to bite his tongue and mind himself. This is something he just needs to let lie and have his parents handle it.

They can reach out to Billy’s pack, he thinks. And then this will be sorted.

“And who’s that?” 

Billy’s voice is clear and quiet with consideration, cutting through all the background noise like he had whispered the words directly into Steve’s ear. He shouldn’t be able to hear it, but he can’t help himself from focusing his enhanced hearing to pick up the conversation.

“Him?” Tommy says, breaking off with a derisive laugh. “That’s ‘King Steve’, used to be top dog around here. The Harrington’s have lived here for years, one of those right old families and Steve acted like it until he got all soft and cosied up to Nancy. Well—” Tommy laughs again and Steve clenches his fist beneath the table “—until Nancy ran off after weirdo Byers, there.”

Billy hums, interested. He doesn’t say anything else, but Steve can feel the way his eyes linger on him for a long moment.

The canteen smells like the sweat of overcrowded kids as he takes in steadying breaths through his nose. Jonathan, Barb and Nancy chat on none the wiser. It takes a long moment, but Steve manages to reign in his self control and steel himself into an icy indifference.

It doesn’t matter what Tommy thinks of him. Steve’s moved on, he’s better than this now. And the new kid won’t be around for long. Wolfblood packs don’t mix; even if he’s here now, he won’t be for long. Him and his pack will be long gone by the end of the week.

---

Stick around to see what wonderful work @medusapelagia has put together for us next!! <3

[daichiduskdrop]

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚⋆·˚ ༘ *𝙎𝙣𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡 ⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚

Chapter 30

Pairing: BTS Ot7 X fem! reader

Genre: A/B/O AU, Fluff, Angst, Strangers to lovers,

Warnings: none! Just a sweet sleepy chapter :)

Words: 3510

Taglist:@thelilbutifulthings @ilovemoneymorethenmen @singukieee @cherrysainttt @felicityroth @mageprincess7 @lucis-noctiana @danielle143 @osakis-gf @girl-nahh @vintageoldfashion @neverthefirstchoice @juju-227592 @silentreadersthings @i-have-no-life-charlie @everyonehatesshani @iamkookiesforyou @dragons-flare @fangirl125reader @roseidol @frieschan @popcatx0 @liz67900 @exfolitae

Previous:

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

You were more precise and careful than they would probably expect, each pillow and blanket nicely folded or placed, gentle to not ruffle and mess up any of what you had previously done.

The nesting, which you were unconsciously doing, took you a bit to finish, but the packmembers didn't dare to complain. Sure, a few of them were pretty much ready to just get to bed before, but since your cute request, they were far from tired.

They would wait for however long you would need and would only encourage you to take as much needed time as possible. You deserved it after all.

That way, you didn't need to be worried or stressed out over anything. The alphas realised that you creating a nest out of their scents was basically a way for omegas to court the pack.

Sure, it can't necessarily be considered courting; that was for alphas and sometimes betas to do. But it was natural for you to have your own tendencies and needs to show how good of a mate you would be.

The alphas knew that by now, anyway, but that didn't mean they wouldn't go completely soft if you started some of the usual omegas acts—and unconsciously too.

Making a nest was one thing; it meant a lot to them, for sure, and they could feel their heart strings get pulled, but with how close you were all growing, you might start doing a few things too.

Scenting them yourself, being more clingy and sweet, inviting them to nest and nap with you—there were many ways you might start to show your capabilities, and the alphas were happy with it.

It didn't matter if it was conscious or not; this was such sweet progress to see, and it wasn't only Jin who was almost brought to tears.

Jimin, growing up, spent time with omegas and betas too, before he was a trainee. Later on, after their debut, the alphas would of course have to take some time with recruited omegas too, provided by Hybe.

They never grew used to it; the omegas that were hired always smelled a little bit off for them.

The packmembers couldn't always care though; when their rut would come and they would be in the middle of a tour or were expected to hold a fan meet, there wasn't much to do.

The alphas were used to taking suppressants, though only when they were absolutely necessary, and otherwise, apart from spending time with omegas when it was unmanageable otherwise, they usually just tried to rest it off.

Jimin had a hard time finding an omega that would be happy with him just as he would be happy with them. It felt like a never-ending struggle, when usually his deepest insecurities would get picked on.

One of those was his scent. To be truthful, many might mistake him for a beta, or sometimes, not to the man's liking, even as an omega.

He was meant to be the tough one, protective and dominant, so whenever people misinterpreted his scent for a lower-ranked second gender, he tried to laugh it off, though it hit deep sometimes.

Over the years, the alpha grew a bit too insecure about his scent, unhappy with it. Their early debut years didn't help much; the man would oftentimes have to wear scent blockers or just try to mask his scent completely whenever they would do fan meet and greets.

And so, when Yoongi was quick to tell you they would prepare a nice den for you all to sleep in, Jimin wasn't sure if his scent was necessarily what you would like in it.

He realised that you have been adjusting so well to him; he was the one you fell asleep to after the classmates thing, and so it must mean you liked his scent, right?

After you gently called them to come sleep now, unsure why they were waiting in the kitchen, they all calmly came to admire and look over your work. They went to change and shower in the meantime, getting ready for bed themselves.

The alphas knew well what you were doing; deep down, they were so happy and excited, though they hid their excitement well, not wanting to come across like something else.

„...Aigoo, pup, you look adorable...Look at you... Do you want alphas to sleep with you now?”

Namjoon asked gently, praising your work. The packalpha couldn't help but smile, his dimples showing. You looked so cute, he felt like he might melt, but it was important to ask for your permission first.

With a cute, bright nod and a small smile, Namjoon moved first, gently crawling over the wide, circle-shaped nest you prepared so well. He felt so proud and satisfied with your work.

Soon, the other pack members followed, Jimin being the last as he noticed the exact pillow you were seeming to be planning to sleep on. Your pretty head would be on his, the naturally stuck scent that belonged to him close to your nose.

The alpha felt his throat tighten, suddenly feeling like you might disappear if he wasn't able to have you in his arms. You liked his scent; even after his worries, he felt so reassured.

You really were perfect.

You all settled down soon, though you weren't about to go to sleep very yet. The youngest pulled out the boxes and handed them to you.

With Namjoon having you resting, warmed up against his broad chest, Jin on your right, and Jungkook to your left, the packmembers sat in a tight circle around you.

„Here, babybun, that's the plushies you chose, little bunny. Do you want to open them now?” The youngest asked you gently, and seeing how brightly your eyes shined, he took it as a yes.

Giggling softly, he couldn't help himself, leaning over to peck the top of your head gently, his hands rubbing over your cheeks.

The young alpha gently gave you the carefully wrapped plastic box, handing you the scissors. You went to cut it open, but seeing how uncaring you were even with the sharp metal, the alphas weren't too happy.

„Kitten-”

Namjoon gently took the scissors from you, softly kissing your temple, as his other hand took your palm in his, placing it on his lap instead.

„Let alpha help Sweetheart." He whispered gently, too afraid you might hurt yourself. With how fearlessly you were going to slide through the tape, he felt worried. You could have cut yourself like that!

„Oppa will do it, baby cub, don't worry.” Jin said gently, cutting through the tape quickly, before he handed you the box right back, wanting you to have the first look and touch.

You smiled widely, a sweet grin appearing, having the alphas smile in content. You pulled out the plastic wrapping next, and the packalpha quickly helped you break the seal after seeing you struggle.

The small, black lamb was even cuter than you pictured; the pretty, glass bead eyes were bright as the light shone on them. It was lying on its stomach, its big ears on display.

It was made with fluffy fabric, with your fingers gently running through it, you let Jin take the almost empty plastic seal from you; the eldest alpha quickly fished out the small, silky heart that was in its own plastic seal.

Hobi and Jimin were leaning closer, wanting to take their own look at the instructions printed on the small package and the now empty box.

With Jungkook meanwhile giving you the other box and having you carefully take out the other comfort animal, you were left with two adorable lambs.

„Babycheeks, those are almost as cute as you! What should we name them, baby?” Taehyung asked excitedly. You had each plush in one arm, looking over them closely and petting the soft fabric.

You shrugged, not too worried about the names. You were mesmerised at the moment. You never got to really play with many toys growing up, and you felt your inner child heal a little.

„That's okay, princess. We can come up with a way to call them later; don't worry. Should alphas scent them precious?” The alpha was careful and sweet with you, seeing the tired look. They didn't want to overwhelm you, especially if you had built a nest for them earlier.

You might be at the brim of omegaspace, and while you were usually quite in touch with your second gender, only natural for omegas, they didn't want to startle you.

Still, you nodded a little, looking up and meeting Jimin's eyes. He smiled so wide that his eyes formed little crescents, chuckling softly. He leaned over, his lips brushing against your forehead in a cute peck.

„Okay, sunny bub, let's see. Which one first?” You pointed to the package Namjoon held; the packalpha's was for the white lamb, and the alpha smiled widely at you.

„Great choice, pup,” he said softly, pecking your temple with a wide smile. The instructions were quite simple, with the cardboard box saying,:

Instruction Manual: 

Congratulations on your purchase of the "Comfort Companion"! This plush toy is designed with utmost care and consideration to provide comfort and companionship to omegas during the times when they miss their packmates in the times of separation, or just for a better rest. By following these simple instructions, you can ensure the best experience with your Comfort Companion.

 

1. Preparing the Silk Heart:

- Locate the small silk heart included with your Comfort Companion.

- To properly scent the heart, it is recommended to use your packmate's neck scent glands. Gently rub the heart against the glands, allowing it to absorb the unique scent.

- Ensure that the scent is transferred evenly onto the heart for maximum effectiveness.

 

2. Placing the Silk Heart:

- Find the small, sown-in pocket on the Comfort Companion.

- Open the pocket by gently separating the Velcro closure.

- Carefully insert the scented silk heart into the pocket, ensuring it is placed securely.

 

3. Maintenance and Care:

- It is essential to properly care for your Comfort Companion to maintain its effectiveness.

- Once a month or as needed, remove the silk heart from the pocket.

- Separate the Velcro closure and remove the heart gently.

- Hand wash the Comfort Companion using mild detergent or as directed on the product tag.

- Allow the plush toy to air dry fully before placing the silk heart back into the pocket.

 

4. Rescenting the Silk Heart:

- Once the Comfort Companion is clean and dry, it's time to rescent the silk heart.

- Follow the instructions in step 1 to obtain fresh scent from your packmate's neck scent glands.

- Then, repeat step 2 to place the rescented silk heart back into the pocket.

 Important Notes:

- The Comfort Companion is intended for personal use only and should not be shared with others.

- Keep the Comfort Companion away from extreme temperatures, water, and direct sunlight to maintain its quality.

- Please ensure that the velcro closure is securely fastened to prevent the silk heart from falling out.

 

By following these instructions, you can ensure that your Comfort Companion remains a source of comfort and solace during times of separation from packmates. We hope that this product provides the support you need for your story.

There wasn't much to it, they realised, and so, after Jin carefully ripped off the scent seal, claiming that Namjoon would just fully wreck it, he let the packalpha scent the small plushy first.

He wasn't sure how to really do it, but the alpha knew this was for you, so it was worth it, even if he might feel a little bit awkward.

The packalpha rubbed the red silk against his neck, since his scent was of course the most prominent there, his aroma sticking and lingering to it well.

Seriously, these comfort companions were thought through well, Namjoon thought to himself, handing the small item to Jungkook next, the youngest obviously very excited.

The packalpha could see this as coming very useful in the future. They were planning on travelling for a few concerts, and you might have to be separated for a while, even if the alpha didn't even want to think about it.

The packmembers would try their best to have you tag along safely, but he was still worried about how well you would deal with the traveling.

They were used to travelling in first class, and while the majority of the flight they didn't have to be buckled in, the most scary parts, which the packalpha could definitely imagine you having a hard time with, they wouldn't be able to get to you.

Maybe a plush toy like this would help in such instances; the alpha could already see it, your small tears having them on edge, ready to spring to motion once the safety icon would turn off.

Your nose and cheeks would be dug deep into the plush toys, your soft sobs as the pressure would level, your ears hurting, too much for you to handle, having you reach for their scents naturally.

Namjoon couldn't think of it too deeply, or he might seriously become too worried for no real reason, shaking his thoughts away as he pulled you closer to his chest.

By now, Jin has handed him the other silk heart too, with the packalpha doing the quick work to scent it well too, your head resting against his collarbone and chest.

Both of the hearts were soon swapped around, all of the alpha's scents lingering on the item.

With Yoongi grumbling about it "Reeking of alphas," (though he obviously didn't mean it too badly, as he soon followed, getting his own scent on it,) both of the silk hearts were back in Namjoon's hand.

The packalpha was very gentle, deep down a little worried about ripping the tiny pocket placed at the side of the lambs, their fluffy coat hiding it, so the red fabric wasn't even visible.

The alpha noticed the quality of the plushies, exceeding his expectations. They were much more comfortable than he expected, so the packalpha was satisfied with having you cuddle with it, not having to worry about it scratching you or even giving you a rash.

The little pocket for the heart was lined too; all the stitching was very properly done, so none of the threads were loose either. Closing the velcro strap carefully, Namjoon handed you the white lamb and then, soon after, the black one too.

You smiled widely; their scents were truly there, making you happy and satisfied. You didn't expect it to work so well!

„Do you like it, princess?” Jimin asked you gently, his gaze sweet and kind. You looked excited, and both of the plush animals were held close. You nodded, truly happy.

„Good. Bunbun, I will buy myself one too, and you will scent it yourself. How about it, cutie?” The youngest asked, widely smiling. The other alphas grumbled a little, wanting to ask first.

„Alpha will choose a cute kitty keychain for his kitten; ...would you like that, hm?” The older alpha asked next, almost preening at how you happily nodded.

„What about a flower, cub? Alpha will choose the prettiest one for you and will always carry it with his keys too.” Jin said, the eldest wanting to have a little scent memory of you on himself too.

A pink keychain for his set of keys would definitely suit his taste, and you looked excited too. Did you like his idea the best?

„Guys, stop this is ridiculous; you will like any keychains alphas will choose, right pup?” You whispered a soft yes with a wide smile, having the packalpha cuddle you closer, his dimples on display.

„Should we sleep now, Sunshine? It's quite late." Hobi said gently, tucking a hair lock behind your ear. You shrugged a little, having the pack members gently smile at you.

„Do w-we fi-t?” You mumbled gently, worried that this would be really uncomfortable for them. You would sleep great; their presence already makes you tired, but would they?

„Babycheeks, no, don't worry about alphas. There's plenty of space, little baby.” The alpha was quick to reassure you, his tone sweet but carefully setting his thought through, making sure you wouldn't be left in doubt.

You nodded bashfully, Namjoon gently sliding you off his lap so you sat in the very middle of the nest. A small yawn left you, making you crawl closer to the pillow you thought was the most comfortable tonight.

You curled up in a small ball, with Jin helping you pull a duvet and a blanket over you, tucking you safely in. The other pack members followed your lead, getting comfortable soon.

Namjoon, as a packalpha and naturally protective not only over you but his whole pack, layed at the opening that was the closest to the entrance doors, facing them, your calf's touching his upper back.

Jimin was quick, curling up around your form so his chest was to your back, mimicking the way your legs curled up cutely. His arms gently drew you to his chest, a soft rumble leaving him at ease;

The alpha's face hid in the back of your neck; your scent was close, so he felt comforted. The youngest didn't want to leave your soft presence, only hiding underneath a very thin blanket before he laid down.

Jungkook carefully manoeuvred your face so it rested against his chest, sighing in contentment. The alpha's chin tucked your head to himself, making you breathe in his scent. Kissing your forehead gently, the youngest pulled you closer.

„There you are, little bunbun....Alpha has you now..."

He whispered, himself growing tired over the minute, his eyes shutting. Your scent clouded around him; the alpha content, comforted with you in his arms.

The eldest alpha, after carefully tucking you in to make sure you wouldn't grow cold, though, considering their high body temperature wouldn't really happen, laid down, taking your hand in his, your other arm still holding both of the lambs.

He interweaved your fingers, getting comfortable behind Jimin, though he was more of wrapped around the top of your head, kissing your hair repeatedly.

Hoseok sighed in contentment, your scent and his mixing beautifully, seeing the few blankets of his he carried downstairs for you to use earlier. It paid off for sure, as he layed down behind Jin and Jimin, deciding that protecting you and keeping the nest safe was important.

He still laid down so he was facing you, wanting to sleep with your scent as close as possible.

„Goodnight, sleepy sunny...” He whispered tiredly, caressing your shoulder before he fully rested himself.

The second youngest crawled around Jungkook, the youngest only softly snarling at the close proximity before he was gently shushed.

„Let me have a cuddle too, Kookie." Taehyung whispered, his voice raspy and deep as his hands settled over the duvet, where your waist would be. The alpha would rest well, knowing you wouldn't leave during the night.

There wasn't really any chance anyone would dare take you from them, but still, he needed to somehow calm his silly worry, and so Tae kept you close.

Yoongi, the last alpha to lay down, watched over you all for a few minutes, content with seeing you all rest against one another. There wasn't much space; the alphas were close to each other, even when they didn't always enjoy the cuddle sessions.

Whenever one of them would get clingy, they would either gravitate to Jimin or Jungkook, the alphas just naturally needing an omega to take care of and hold. And when it wasn't available, the younger ones were the closest to that.

„...Sleep tight, little kitty... Alpha loves you." He whispered almost inaudibly, growing a little bit flustered at his sudden confession in front of the whole pack.

Yoongi layed down near Hobi and Namjoon, he himself feeling the need to protect you, and so he faced the entrance, the warmth all the alphas shared enough to make him comfortable.

You all laid close together for a few minutes; only the occasional rustles of the sheets and blankets could be heard. Taehyung broke the silence soon, though, with a thought on his mind.

„Babycheeks, you think the tiger would be the cutest, right? Alpha will-” 

„Seriously, Tae-ah, shush now. Let little pup sleep.” The packalpha grumbled, still keeping his voice relatively quiet from where he almost sat up in his spot.

The alpha only sighed, laying back down. Even though he hoped for a response, you were far too sleepy to really reply. Their scents are so sweet and warm.

With a last peck for the day, left by Jimin, who was only minutes from resting, his lips brushing up against the crook of your neck, you were off to dreamland, carefully held by the packmembers.

„Sleep well, little cub...Alphas are here; don't worry about a thing... Alphas will take care of everything..." Jin softly whispered, smiling gently as he rested himself, calm and happy.

⋆·˚ ༘ *ੈ✩‧₊˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ✩‧₊˚⋆·˚ ༘ *

Next:

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Ok based on your most recent post (I am obsessed I love it sm-). I honestly think that once Delta wakes up to see them with him again he'd probably freak out a little bit, and have no idea if this is reality or another nightmare. But once he is able to figure it out, they might be upset and ask Color and Epic questions about the subjects of their nightmares (ex; about the jar one, he might ask why they couldn't hear them and why didn't they bother to look in the jars) and might completely get confused with reality.

I also think that because they had dissociated for so long (probably spanning days or weeks before they came back to reality), he would have gone completely nonverbal and would have switched to sign language (the silence also most likely made them incredibly paranoid - too paranoid to break it by speaking. So, in order to keep the quiet, they silenced themselves and haven't spoken in a good long while), furthering their dissociation and PTSD spiral.

Now of course this would concern Epic and Color, and they'd likely have to explain that the nightmares weren't reality, but would also have to try to get him to explain what the hell had happened during the time they were both gone, and why he hadn't called them for help once they're able to talk in the morning.

(But since you mentioned how they'd probably help Delta fall asleep, I can't help but wonder how they'd react if Delta woke up from a bad nightmare about them, and how the talk in the morning would go?)

I love this addition, it makes complete sense. And now that we’re on the topic about this type of thing, I actually feel like it’d be easier for Color and Epic to understand these things more than it seems.

For Color, it’s due to his relationship with Killer. We all know Killer is a dissociative character who cannot often tell what is and is not real anymore, he spends most of his time dissociating—as opposed to Delta and Beta’s episodes of intense dissociative episodes due to events in their lives.

I’m sure that Color has had to help Killer differentiate between dream, memory, and reality many times before, even if it’s as something as simple as having to lightly touch Killer’s shoulder when walking past—otherwise Killer would probably just assume he’s dreaming or it isn’t real.

On the other hand, if I remember correctly, Epic has very vivid and distressing nightmares where he has to constantly fight against creatures/a creature every night due to his magical eye thing. And as a result he learns actual fighting experience from this, but he also often wakes up in pain and panicking. His nightmares are legitimately traumatizing for him.

So I’m assuming Epic would avoid sleep as much as possible, especially in a case such as this, where a beloved friend needs sleep and can’t afford being woken up by his nightmares.

So I’m assuming that once Delta first wakes up in the middle of the night, Epic would actually already be up. He probably was surprised and taken aback by Delta’s panicking, but is quick to try and calm the two of them down.

And when Delta starts using ASL, looking unnerved at any noise made, is when Epic realizes that it was worse than he and Color had thought. And maybe he considers waking Color up, because Color has always been better with words and calming people down between the three of them, but Delta frantically shakes his head ‘no.’

Epic doesn’t argue against this, although he knows Delta is likely doing this because he doesn’t want to worry Color and be perceived as ‘weak,’ doesn’t want to disturb Color’s rest. So instead Epic, Delta, and Beta wander off into the kitchen for some late night milk and cookies.

Epic asks if they’re ready to talk about it, to which they shake their head no. Epic again doesn’t argue, instead settles on to the couch with them to watch some random tv series. He pretends not to notice how Delta keeps staring at him instead of the show, squeezing Epic’s arm tightly.

By the time morning comes around and Color is waking up, Delta and Beta have still not spoken verbally and haven’t slept. Neither has Epic—which only inevitably concerns Color even more, which only increases when Delta suddenly starts rapidly singing at him once spotted.

Color asks him to slow down as he approaches, he didn’t catch that, Epic turning down the volume on the show and turning to face the others more directly. Once Color is seated, he asks Delta to repeat what he said, more slowly this time.

Why didn’t you two hear us? Why didn’t you open it? Why didn’t you look? Why did you leave? We were screaming.

And Epic and Color share a look, confused, before Color begins prompting them to explain with more questions. Look where? Open what? Leave where?

Gradually, they begin to piece together what happened—often Delta and Beta have to pause when they start dissociating again or get too choked up, Color asks Epic to get them a glass of water at some point, but stops when they start panicking again at the question (don’t leave)—and the whole time Delta’s hands are gripping on to his friends so tightly it almost hurts.

I can see them letting Delta and Beta cry it out and calm down enough before Color starts to explain, helps them piece together what was dream and what was memory, versus what actually happened.

I can see Epic trying to make them laugh using his usual humor and memes, because he can see that their paranoia about the silence is making them cautious to speak and furthering their dissociation. Which of course makes it harder for them to fully process what was happening and what is happening.

I think, once they realized what was happening, Delta and Beta might actually feel ashamed, guilty, and/or embarrassed about how they reacted to something that “didn’t even happen.” Delta probably feels guilty, assuming it means that some part of him thinks of Epic and Color as the type of people who’d do that to them.

To which they’d have to reassure him that, no, it was out of his control and doesn’t make him a bad friend or a bad person for having nightmares and feeling abandoned.

I can also see, if either Delta or Beta realizes what happened before the other did, they will attempt to help comfort and ground the other too; such as Beta petting the body’s hand, or hugging themselves due to not being able to physically hug each other. Talking out loud to soothe each other, reminding the other that not only does Epic and Color still love them, but they love each other, too.

[faejilly]

so I wanted to riff off of @alexanderlightweight's response to the Alec/Bow/Quiver/summoning meta post by @ralfstrashcan that I reblogged recently, but also I didn't want it to get lost in an increasingly long reblog chain, so I'm gonna quote and start over here:

100%

my headcanon is that it's alec's shadowhunter ability like clary's rune ability and apparently the herondale ghost talking ability(??)

if we really want to take it a step further. we can even talk about how izzy has specially made weapons that have to be super tricky to use which means weapons ability

but that's just my brain. which made that one scene where alec goes back to the institute make no sense, to retrieve his bow because literally every other time he doesn't need to (they just wanted to give clace the training moment and set up the whole hodge thing)

1: I also think Alec's 'have to go get a bow' is just an excuse, but he's using it to a) get away from Jace behaving incomprehensibly & Clary being So Very Clary, AND b) to cover their tracks now that he's realized just HOW comprehensively his siblings are going to go off the rails in the next day or so. (And on a narrative level I really like the scene with Hodge so I'm glad it exists. 😅)

2: I headcanon that part of the reason Alec (& to a lesser extent but still noticeably so, Izzy) can get away with pushing so many Clave/Nephilim boundaries without actually getting deruned despite their parents being on Thin Fucking Ice™️ with well, everyone, is that they have inherited both Family Traits and that's valuable enough (especially after all the losses during and after the Uprising) that the Clave really really doesn't want to get rid of them.

(Similarly, there's some hope that Jace and/or his expected children might show signs of the Wayland traits coming to life again as they've died out otherwise. Obviously that goes a bit sideways once they finally pick up on How Very Herondale he is, but luckily he's Herondale so that's still a benefit.)

Truebloods: very literally truth-tellers. Variations on their skills include the ability to recognize lies, off the charts charisma when they are invoking what they believe to be the truth, and an ability to make the most awkward truths palatable to audiences that normally wouldn't want to engage with them. They were traditionally the guardians of the Soul Sword whenever it left the City of Bones, but that honor faded away over the years as the Council with the Consul/Inquisitor as heads centralized power in their own hands.

Izzy can be seen doing this during her trial, because even when her personal behavior has included digs & microaggressions against Downworlders, she believes that they as a people can and should do better and her speech clearly works in-universe because of that resonance of truth.

(She even occasionally manages the sincere/heart-felt clunky dialogue that works despite being clunky that Alec's so good at, and poor Jace doesn't, despite his best attempts, because for all he's a Lightwood in every other way that matters, he's not actually part Trueblood.)

Maryse has several hints of Alec's same blunt (inexplicably successful) sincerity once she lets herself stop hiding behind Politics & Expectations. When she's upset with Izzy about spending time with the Seelie in s1, she has a line that always felt very self-recriminating to me; (I'm paraphrasing here since I'm too lazy to pull up the script or episode): 'never trust a people who can't lie, they'll find more imaginative ways to stab you in the back'. She knows this about the Seelie because it's what she's always done.

(Alec's shock at his parents being in the Circle can't be because it's against their politics as they've never really tried to behave better. Perhaps it's because it never occurred to him that they could lie that well. Especially his mother, since he has a much better relationship with her than Robert.)

This means that Maryse buying into Valentine's rhetoric was invaluable to him, because she could back him up and help make sure people would fall for it, because she was a Trueblood. Equally, when she turns, that is part of why the Clave lets them back in. Her vow to now toe the party line is completely believable, because she promised on her children... who are also Truebloods.

This also means that their bloodline is one that would not always be popular since they can call out power when it's behaving badly; thus the apparent decline of Trueblood standing in the way that the show refuses to ever really acknowledge it in the present day timeline, and instead talks about Lightwood honor.

(But countered in the way The Clave doesn't move directly against Alec Lightwood, HotI, despite gay and living with a Downworlder, despite how much clear disdain he has for so many of them and their policies. They aren't willing to risk what a Trueblood could do if pushed into active rebellion.)

Lightwoods have a much more palatable martial gift. Their affinity for the adamas in their weapons means they can bond with them, sometimes strongly enough to summon them, manipulate them in the field, adapt them and rune them and enhance them in ways most Shadowhunters can't. (We never see anyone doing anything resembling Alec runing his arrows in s1 after all. What if most of them can't?)

As shown by Izzy in s3 as Weapon's Master, in Alec's ability to beat his parabatai (the supposed best fighter of a generation) when they're sparring with weapons even if he loses once they get to hand-to-hand, Izzy's unique skill with a whip, Alec fighting with everything he gets his hands on, from seraph blades to his signature bow to actual arrows for stabbing. (As seen in everything in ralf's original meta post and delightful fic.)

There's even something in the fact that Izzy was interested in joining the Iron Sisters (which while prestigious also involves even more sacrifice from a people who have to sacrifice a lot already and are thus vital enough that they let Cleophas join despite her past because they needed her) and yet Izzy stayed active duty -- and presumably eventually marriageable.

(I frequently wonder if part of why she chose to make herself as unpalatable as possible for a traditional/political match was a lingering bit of awareness that that was what The Clave most wanted from her, regardless of who she wanted to be.)

ALSO! There has to be a reason that Robert Lightwood was valuable enough to keep even when they got rid of Maryse, a reason the show reiterates Lightwood honor over and over again, a reason he & Maryse got to be co-Heads of an Institute (even if the general fanon that they were more constrained than most Proper Heads does fit what little we see), and we never actually see Robert fighting or sparring, but we are repeatedly told that his children are the best of the best.

But it's seldom mentioned as a compliment, is it? More like an expectation. They're Lightwoods, they have to be the best with their weapons, or what is the point of them? It's just another weight added to Alec's so-called crown, another expectation Izzy has to both flaunt and fight against every day so she can have at least a little bit of herself left to hold onto.

(The one thing Jace is good at, the one bit of the monster his father built that helps; he's as good with a blade as a Lightwood. It's the only thing that gives him hope for redemption, the only thing that gives him enough conviction to ask Alec to be his parabatai and protect his soul from himself.)

[historia-vitae-magistras]

A lightee ask than usual but do you have any food or eating habit thoughts?

Ooohooohh, I did a whole ass seminar on the history of food. Failed it because I almost bled to death but I got to keep all the material! I've got.... a lot of thoughts and feelings about food culture. Too goddamn many, tbh. This got really long so I'll have to do a part two for other characters if wanted but lol enjoy.

Alfred:

 —Actually pretty gourmet little shit when he's got time and effort. He's made food Maria loves so often she has to give up on pretending she didn't enjoy it because fucking hell, he makes good chilaquiles after they've been drinking and fucking. There is, however, a non-zero chance he hasn't eaten a vegetable since the Nixon administration.

 —With that combustion engine metabolism, he's also perpetually hungry, so he eats whatever is around him. His guts do not like this, especially when it's a lot of dairy.

 —He has that kind of lactose intolerance that's tied to his health and stress, so if he's been particularly freaked out lately, he'll remind the world of his nuclear arsenal when he's got to use the toilet after that triple cheeseburger with a side of deep-fried cheese curds.

 —He's a stress eater too. He eats every negative emotion he's ever had especially when he's trying not to binge drink or do drugs.

 —He’s exceptionally food-motivated. They didn’t call one of his first major historical eras ‘the starving time’ without reason. He has preferences, but food is also food, and he’ll genuinely enjoy it in most forms as long as it's not rotten or otherwise godawful. Cowboy coffee and beans for ten days straight, and he will genuinely be the only man on that cow trail not sick of it by the end.

 —This also goes into why he’s so generous with food. He’s big on homemade food. He’ll make a whole big ass batch of like some sort of mac and cheese, and all the neighbours will get a big ol’ bowl of it with an ‘oh just return the Tupperware whenever,’ and it will genuinely be one of the best things they’ve ever eaten in their lives. Europeans recoil in horror, but our portion sizes are almost never single servings. It’s a generosity and hospitality practice except drinks. He really will down like a 2 liter of Slurpee in a single sitting.

 —He doesn’t mind eating alone. Actually prefers it sometimes. He loves eating in his car. American frontier culture, especially mountain men, had an often hyper-individualized, almost mythic culture of spending long periods alone in the woods and not being very sociable; thus a lot of situations where single servings were a thing, eating alone in quiet without something to do can be a real goddamn luxury.

 —He’s a really big protein guy with his metabolism. Sometimes exists on protein shakes but is more often a beef or barbeque or ham or alligator jerky. And a somewhat chunky Alfred is a healthy Alfred. A perfectly cut no flab Alfred is an Alfred who might be severely dehydrated and on several kinds of uppers.

 —He has better tastes than Arthur who didn't really realize food was supposed to taste good until like ten years ago but his combinations can be equally wild and unappetizing as they are batshit tasty.

—He loves spicy food. He's got so many opinions about hot sauces.

—He’s always hungry. If he isn’t hungry or turns down food, its genuinely a bad sign. If he turns down anything or just is just picking at it his food alarm bells should be sounding. He’s either about to declare war or puke all over the table or keel over dead. Peckish or food coma is his default state. Like if he was a smaller guy someone would say he’s got a binge disorder but he’s tall and beefy so he’s pretty okay.

 —Incredibly adventurous eater too. People will assume since there’s that old school culture of Anglo-American who eats the same 7 meals every week and might keel over dead if the meatloaf is slightly different he’ll be a bit hard to please but then he’s absolutely charmed by everything from Korean kimchi to Lithuanian Lašiniai.

 —He loves anyone who feeds him, just got to be a bit careful because he’s got surprisingly delicate stomach for the world superpower.

 —That American obsession with authencity means he’s surprisingly good at remembering people’s food culture or eating norms. He figured out chopsticks in ten seconds and quickly picked up the cues and manners of eating in any given culture. Still struggles with modulating his voice and personality, so he can often come across as rude, but he's so excited to do so. It's almost frustrating how happy he is to try and adapt to people around him and how happy he can be to fit in.

Matt:

 —He's a very good cook when he's putting in effort for other people, but he's not really like Alfred, who he'll make a whole ass meal for one just to relax on a Sunday.

 —He does tend to eat more vegetables than Alfred, but only because his northern vitamin deficiency has him binging them when he can afford them or they're available during the summer.

  —He can be weirdly picky on his own, but no one ever really needs to ask about his favourite food or how he likes anything because he always just goes with the flow around other people. “Just get me whatever you’re getting.” comes out of his mouth often.

 —There's a lot of sour cream/crema and yoghurt/coconut milk involved when he eats Mexican or Indian food for as much as he loves it.

 —Katya was singlehandedly responsible for his ability to maintain a normal weight during the 20th century by adding rye bread and perogies/vyrenki to his diet. He craves mushroom-umami flavours when he misses her, which is most of the time.

 —When he’s normal and eating the Anglo-North American diet, but he isn’t always eating it, he gets some strong sugar cravings, especially when he’s west of Manitoba. He’s as fond of birch syrup as a flavour as he is maple; there’s just less production. But the kind of deprivation he got and his own tendencies to not eat sometimes cause white sugar to just straight-up burns.

 —There's very much something of François to Matt's dietary habits, but less in his personal tastes and more in that he might be more sensitive to flavours. He has that kind of discerning and slightly oversensitive palate, but he’s a shitty perpetually broke frontier settler colony. He knows better/feels too guilty/is too embarrassed of himself to really indulge it.

 —He kept too much of his peasant communalism in his eating habits. Where Anglo-American communities did have a lot of cooperation, communal eating was a special occasion. The norm was based on the individual household. In contrast, French Canadian habitants still technically lived on medieval land plots and owed labour to a lord while also having a culture of seasonal male work, so Matt grew up used to communal ovens and eating most of his meals around others. Later, in Arthur’s jurisdiction, it was usually the same. He got a plate of whatever he was given, and it wasn’t something he had ever had to initiate himself.

 —Partially, he's sometimes exceptionally bad at eating when he has to choose to do it himself. Especially since the Americanization of the food culture took hold in the '80s and '90s. Whereas Alfred is food motivated from going without when he was little, Matt learned how to block out physical sensation until he collapsed because it was rare that someone, including himself, cared about what kind of state he was in. He just doesn’t eat at all when he’s stressed or anxious. And now it's his sole responsibility to do so as there aren’t the same community structures. He has a lot of Alfred’s abundance now, all the brunch and BBQ places anyone could ask for, but it hasn’t meshed with his eating habits. His people gave up so much of their communal eating in exchange for various choices and then wondered why they were so lonely. So he’ll just microwave a potato or a packet of Kraft dinner a day for a week straight and wonder why he feels dead because, technically, he did eat something. It’s seriously a miracle he got as tall as he did.

 —Feed him nothing but hardtack for three years, and he won't complain until he's dropped dead of scurvy. If Arthur puts some sort of godforsaken mixture of plum sauce or gin-infused spag bol in front of him, he’ll compliment it before he disassociates to get at least some of it down.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for faking...?

Some background, me (24 F) and my fiance (27 M) have been together for close to 4 years now, engaged for the past 6 months.

When we got together I was diagnosed but untreated for bipolar disorder, and he encouraged me to seek treatment (therapy/meds/etc) and has generally been really supportive of my mental health. Part of this is likely because his mother (who singlehandely raise him) had severe depression which was not properly treated and led to her death when he was in his early 20's. I've gotten a lot better since we've been together, and have encouraged him to seek treatment for his (very obvious but undiagnosed) depression issues. But he has yet to try therapy or even counseling and that's fine, everybody's mental health is their own journey.

However. When we first got together I was severely manic. Part of that was wanting to have sex all the time. We used to have sex at least once per day, often multiple times, and I always got off really easily. Since starting medication (mood stabilizer and antipsychotic) around 2 years ago I noticed a steep decline in my sex drive and a near inability to cum. I've always enjoyed sex with him I just don't get off as easily any more.

Sex ties deeply into his self esteem, even when we were going at it like rabbits he would spiral into these fits of insecurity and anger over not lasting long enough or losing his erection etc. It's obviously something he bases his self esteem on, and he's even said so many times.

So - and this is the part where I think I might be an asshole - I started faking orgasms to boost his ego. Not like egregiously, but where I would have normally cum before the meds I just kind of put on a show. I try to make sure we have sex at least once per week at least, and I'm still enjoying our sex life otherwise (although tbh he hasn't ever gotten me off orally, just one of those things where you can tell he learned from a HS gf and never updated his technique lol) but don't want to risk bringing this up and having him spiral into self loathing and depression.

It didn't seem like a huge deal, but when he proposed to me I had the thought that I'll either have to keep faking orgasms for the rest of my life (cause these meds are working I am not jeopardizing my mental health at this point) or come clean and risk destroying an otherwise very good and supportive relationship with someone who I love very much and could definitely spend the rest of my life with. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if Carlisle had turned Esme before Edward?

Interesting question. Let's look into the details.

Carlisle Turns Esme

I mean, there is the problem that this would be Esme in her teens in order for Carlisle to meet and turn her before Edward which is... well...

It wouldn't happen, especially as at that point Esme was doing relatively fine by all appearances. Charles didn't happen until a few years later.

So, we'll pretend Esme's a little older and that Carlisle had had the same sort of meeting with her all before Edward's set to die of the Spanish flu.

There's always the question of if he would, and I do always think the man needed that little push of Elizabeth begging him on her death bed to save her son, no she doesn't care how, just do it.

Carlisle had had many ill patients before this point, many he likely could have spirited away to turn without being noticed, and yet he didn't until Elizabeth's plea and then he was turning quite a number of people until Emmett and he probably realized with Rose that maybe not everyone wants to keep living if it means becoming a vampire.

But he could turn Esme for much the same reasons he did in canon. He's still desperately lonely and seeking companionship, he meets thing young woman and then sees her near death around ten years later, just left as a Jane Doe in a morgue to be unmourned and unremembered, and he can't stand it.

The only problem is at this point Carlisle wasn't sure the diet was actually possible for others. Everyone he'd met had said no, people who were otherwise very friendly and perfectly civilized, he hadn't met the Denali yet and when he first turned Edward he recreated his own turning in the hopes that that, somehow, was what made the difference with him.

It turned out the difference was "get them while they're young" and just immediately put them on the animal diet so that eating humans isn't even an option... except that of course Edward left for four years.

But anyways, we'll say Carlisle's out of his mind with loneliness (which he canonically pretty much was) AND ALRIGHT HE'S TURNING HER, and he recreates his own turning which I imagine he later feels really weird about as his turning was very long and painful and he's now tortured this woman on a theory he had that turned out to be wrong.

Woops.

Esme has a similar reaction to canon. This beautiful perfect man she boyband fantasized about in her late teens is back, turns out he's a blood sucking demon and she's one too, but it turns out aside from that he really is perfect.

The weirdness comes in in that there's no Edward so Esme doesn't slip into the position of mother (which in turn helps with the grieving of her own child).

Ultimately, I think this is better for Esme as she has to really work through the death of her son, not immediately fall into a romance with Carlisle and instead find out who she wants to be as a person and what she wants to do.

I imagine they pose as brother and sister (and no one quite believes them, even with the shared vampirism they don't look close enough alike, and think they're having an affair but after what's happened with Esme, Carlisle's not going to pretend to be her husband even in public)

Carlisle Turns Edward

There's the question of if Esme would have good enough control for this or not. I'm leaning towards no, we're given a lot of hints that Esme's control is not so good in canon and that she only ever reached a certain state of control. Since Esme came first this time, not Edward whose control is stupid good, I imagine Carlisle would spend much longer in the wilderness and perhaps might even give up the human charade to an extent in order to help her. He's either always a very rural doctor or else "lives outside of town".

This could mean no Chicago in 1918, very likely wouldn't in fact.

But we'll say it does, as Carlisle would want to work in an urban hub during an epidemic.

Elizabeth may not get as close to him, as Carlisle is now married, but we'll say she does, and she makes her plea. Now, Carlisle might not be as emboldened as he was by Edward. Edward's control was amazing, he had virtually no issues after a very short amount of time, and so Carlisle turned Esme with the belief that the animal diet wasn't only possible but easy to follow with no slips.

However, this time, Esme's first and her control is nowhere near as good, she struggles in human company and really can't go into town (we don't see her in town much in canon, and that's after nearly one-hundred years at this, this is her after only a few), and while she wants to be on the diet she basically can't live a human life the way Carlisle can and if she tries she risks murder.

There's a chance Edward would be the same way that I imagine would make Carlisle very hesitant to turn him even at Elizabeth's pleas.

So... I'm sorry, I'm going to cop out, I don't think Carlisle does it.

[fireofjudgement]

Marking the territory

Requested here

Fandom: Alice in Borderland

Pairing: Niragi x gn!reader

Summary: Being a militant at the Beach might sound exciting to some, but to you it's mostly doing Hatter's dirty work, late night patrols and worst of all - boring meetings. This particular one started off just like the others but thanks to a new member it would quickly go downhill.

Word count: 1.2k

Warnings: swearing, established relationship between reader and Niragi, mentions of alcohol, nudity, teasing, public sex, exhibitionism, oral sex, jealousy, requested reader was feminine I think but i didn't mention any genitals or specific pronouns so I tagged it as gn reader - please let me know if I missed a part that would suggest otherwise

A/N: Yes, I turned a simple request into a rant about Niragi's exhibitionist kink, what are you gonna do about it. And yes, this is the first thing I'm posting after like six months, you're welcome 😌

--

"And why exactly did I just waste a fucking hour listening to some..newbie's life story?"

You relaxed your face, careful not to show your amusement at Niragi's words. You lived at the Beach long enough to understand that the militants and executives were basically Hatter's chosen family - their so-called duties weren't always taken too seriously. He did like to play pretend however and look professional, in front of newcomers at least. Something something elite organization, something something only the best players. Usually you'd all play along, but clearly someone had other plans today.

"Hmm..Let's see." Of course Hatter had to pretend to take Niragi's question seriously. You've yet to see him break character in front of a new member. "Considering the fact that it's only ten in the morning, on a Monday no less, and yet Aguni had to drag you, in his own words, out of the bar and threaten to take your beloved weapon away, just for you to put a shirt on- I simply assumed you didn't have anything better to do anyway. Please forgive me if I was wrong."

"You are indeed wrong, Hatter." It was almost impressive how the obvious irony in the older man's voice seemingly escaped Niragi's attention completely. You had a theory as to what was occupying his mind at the moment though, and his next words only confirmed it. "I could think of someone..I mean something I'd rather be doing right now. Preferably shirtless." He said the last part looking directly at you, a smirk on his handsome face. 

You were trying your best to control yourself, unwilling to entertain your boyfriend in front of a stranger, but it was getting hard with the way he was looking at you. You knew he'd take you right then and there if he could, on that very table you were sitting at. It wouldn't be the first time either. Suddenly your brain was flooded with images from the past, in-between or after meetings, when it was just the two of you. Niragi wasn't a patient man, that much you were able to figure out before you even talked to him for the first time. Seeing him lose his temper at even the slightest mistake of another member was a common occurrence. He liked to get straight to the point and his impulsiveness transferred into every aspect of his life. Sex was no exception to that rule.

Unless there was even the slightest possibility of having an audience. It wasn't until some random, probably drunk and/or high, person stumbled into your room while your boyfriend was going down on you, that you realized he might have a thing for being watched. It was as if a switch was flipped inside his mind that day. Ever since then the meeting room became his favorite place- he could spend hours exploring your body, his hands and lips marking every inch of it, bringing you as close to release as possible, only to withdraw completely over and over again.

You could only guess how many of your friends have seen you all fucked out, a shaking and drooling mess, all while he didn't lose a single piece of clothing. He'd never share you and you felt bad for all those poor idiots who attempted to flirt with you only to never be seen again, but he loved nothing more than to show you off, make everyone see that you're his and nobody else can have you. Damned be the person who figured out how to charge the phones given to players during each game.

"And what about you, Y/N?" The sound of your name snapped you out of your thoughts, the looks on the other executives' faces clearly suggesting they all knew what you were fantasizing about. At that moment you wished you paid enough attention to answer Hatter's question. You shot him a begging look, hoping he'd have mercy on you this time. "What do you want to say to our newest member?" He granted your wish, but not without a loud, exaggerated sigh. 

Oh, so that's what it was about. Thinking about it now, you had a lot to say to her. Starting with the fact that you noticed how she looked at your boyfriend ever since she entered the room. That everyone else noticed too. How ridiculous she looked trying to catch his attention and how annoying and unnatural her voice sounded the entire time. And most importantly, that it would be better if she stopped embarrassing herself - Niragi didn't look her way even once, you knew for sure he would forget there was a new member introduced that day as soon as everyone leaves the room. Your relationship was far from perfect but jealousy was not something you ever had to worry about. The thought of having him all to yourself later filled you with excitement but for now you had to stay focused. 

"Welcome to the family!" You exclaimed instead of voicing your thoughts, in a sickeningly sweet tone, with the fakest smile you could muster glued to your face. "It's always a pleasure to meet people with such a..positive attitude." Your last sentence caused some barely contained laughter among the other executives. Even Aguni looked a little less intimidating than usual. It was hard not to notice the newbie's poor attempts at flirting, the only oblivious one remaining was ironically enough the very target of these attempts. Or at least that's what you thought. 

Hesitantly, you got up from your seat to properly greet the girl, as you did with every new member. It was awkward to say the least, forcing yourself to be so friendly with someone who probably hated everything about you. Maybe except your significant other. Luckily, judging by the amount of cards she presented to Hatter upon joining, you didn't think she'd last long at the Beach. 

Finally, after the longest and most uncomfortable hug and hand shake of your life, you made your way back to your seat. A loud gasp escaped your lips when suddenly you felt someone's hands firmly grabbing your waist, pulling you into their lap. It was unexpected and it caught you off guard, but you soon recognized your boyfriend and calmed down a little. It was quite unusual for him to act that way. You started to think that maybe he wanted to tell you something without the others noticing, but no, he wasn't even facing you. You followed his gaze and..oh. You couldn't hold that smile in anymore, not when the new girl was staring at the two of you with such pure disgust written all over her face. It definitely didn't suit her, you had to admit. But it wasn't exactly your fault that you and Niragi made for one hot couple.

That's when it finally occurred to you however, that he did, in fact, notice her advances. He just waited for a perfect moment to shut them down, and since he couldn't just fuck you right then and there in front of everyone..he settled for the next best thing. It would be an understatement to say that him acting so possessive, though in such a subtle way, made you incredibly horny. Now that you were so close you could tell he was excited too. And judging by how fast the girl stormed out of the room after the meeting was done, she must have received the message, loud and clear. When all of the other members left the room, you knew Niragi would show you that he only wanted you. You also knew that Hatter and Aguni would not let this go for a very long time, but you'd deal with that later. Much, much later.

[kazoosandfannypacks]

summary:   Waking up was getting harder and harder, no matter how suddenly it came. How long had Sabine been asleep this time? One hour? Two?  Nope.  She quickly found that it had only been ten minutes this time.  "She didn't know how many more nights she could spend like this, her dreams haunted by what she'd lost, and her waking hours spent replaying how she lost it— how she lost him." word count: 1.5K a/n: this one's one of those "i have a line of dialogue how can i write this into a fic?" scenarios. i hope you guys like it! taglist:@laughingphoenixleader @accidental-spice @kanerallels @piraterefrigerator @jedi-nurse @dootchster @lucasbridger @redroverrider @light-umbra @commander-tech {if you’d like to be added to or removed from my Sabezra taglist, let me know!}

also on ao3!

How Much You Have

 There was something almost weightless about Sabine's painting session today. Maybe it was how lost she was in the picture itself. Maybe it was the lightness of the colors clouding out of her airbrushes. Maybe….

 "Is it almost done?" Ezra asked.

 Sabine looked back down at Ezra, who was concentrating very hard on keeping her suspended in midair with the Force.

 Which probably explained the weightlessness.

 "Almost!" Sabine called down, "thanks for helping."

 "No problem!" Ezra said.

 Sabine added the finishing touches of some clouds to her mural on the side of the building. It wasn't every day that she got paid to graffiti something.

 "That should be the last of it," Sabine said, "you can bring me down!"

 She added one last calculated splotch of color as Ezra pulled her back down. Her descent started out slowly, then came all at once, and ended with her falling right into Ezra's arms.

 "Nice catch," Sabine said.

 "I like to think so," Ezra raised an eyebrow.

 "Hey," Sabine said, as he set her back down on the ground.

 "What?" Ezra asked.

 "You know perfectly well," Sabine said, packing up her supplies that were scattered across the ground, "If I recall, you agreed to stop flirting with me three rotations ago."

 "Technically, I agreed we wouldn't flirt with each other," Ezra said, "I'm not breaking the terms unless you reciprocate."

 "Why do you think I stopped you?" Sabine thought, but didn't say.

 Why didn't she say it?

 Instead, she glared up at him.

 "Sorry," Ezra said.

 "Apology accepted," Sabine said, handing him the case of paint supplies as she got up, "now, let's get back to The Ghost. Supper must be almost ready by now."

 "Don't have to tell me twice," Ezra said, "race ya!"

 "You're on!" Sabine called, and ran after him, through the city and to the outskirts where the ship was waiting for them.

 As they neared The Ghost, Sabine found herself growing slower and slower, until eventually Ezra was far ahead of her, and started to fade from view entirely, along with everything else around them, fading into nothing once again.

———

 Waking up was getting harder and harder, no matter how suddenly it came. How long had Sabine been asleep this time? One hour? Two?

 Nope.

 She quickly found that it had only been ten minutes this time.

 She didn't know how many more nights she could spend like this, her dreams haunted by what she'd lost, and her waking hours spent replaying how she lost it— how she lost him.

 "Why'd he have to do such a kriffing stupid thing like that anyway?" Sabine muttered for the hundredth time since last week.

 She checked the time again. At least it was late enough now that no one else was awake. This wasn't her first run-in with insomnia, and in previous lapses, she'd found some warm milk never hurt.

 She slipped out of bed as quietly as she could, the cold of the floor sending a wakeful shock right through her. She braced herself for her next step, and found it came a little easier, and the next after that, and then made her way out of her room.

 "It's a good thing Zeb snores so loud," Sabine thought, as she slipped out the door and past the boys' room, "otherwise Ezra might hear…"

 Sabine froze in her tracks and reminded herself of the harsh reality.

 Ezra couldn't hear her.

 She didn't have to worry about waking up Ezra with her midnight milk raids anymore. She didn't have to worry about him asking her what was wrong and trying to comfort her. She didn't have to worry about running into Ezra at all anymore.

 Why had that ever been a worry?

 She would give anything to run into him again.

 But instead, when she entered the galley, she ran into someone else. Sitting at the table was Hera, clutching onto a cup like it was the last thread of her sanity.

 "Sabine?" Hera asked, before she had a chance to backpedal out of there, "what are you doing up?'

 "I could ask you the same question," Sabine replied. Since she was already caught awake anyways, she may as well get what she came here for, and headed over to the pantry to find some of that shelf-stable milk they always seemed to have on hand.

 "I haven't been sleeping much recently," Hera offered.

 Sabine poured herself a mug of the milk and put it in the nanowave.

 "Seems to be a lot of that going around," she said.

 There was a moment of silence until Sabine stopped the nanowave, just seconds before it beeped. She took the mug out and found herself, instead of bringing her drink back to her room, taking a seat across from Hera.

 So much had happened in the last month, and every step forward cost great sacrifice— so it went without saying why sleep had been lacking for them both.

 And why would they need to say anything anyways? Did either woman have words enough to console herself? And how could they offer that encouragement to each other?

 Silence.

 That was what they needed.

 Just a moment's silence spent with each other, understanding each other, that was all.

 And after that moment ended? After that sweet unspoken connection? Then Hera tacked on what she was really thinking.

 "I miss them so much," Hera sighed.

 "Me too," Sabine choked out.

 Hera gave her a weak smile.

 "I take it you haven't slept well since…" Sabine started.

 "No," Hera said, "the first few nights were rough. There was so much I never told Kanan," and his name came out almost like a prayer, "but I got by. I started thinking about everything he worked for— this crew, the Rebellion, Ezra…."

 Sabine bit her lip and nodded for Hera to continue.

 "It was easier when Ezra was here," Hera explained, "I know it'd be crazy to say Ezra takes after him, but in a lot of ways, he does. Having Ezra, seeing how Kanan's training had shaped him— it was like a part of Kanan was still with me."

 "I know," Sabine said, and maybe she would've said more if the very thought of her potential words didn't already start to bring tears to her eyes. She reached for her half-empty mug of milk, hoping that she could hide it, but found herself unable to even try to pick up the mug with how much her hand was shaking.

 Hera reached across the table and touched Sabine's wrist. Normally, Sabine would've pulled away, but something in Hera's motherly gesture grounded her back into reality.

 She looked up at Hera, who seemed to read Sabine with just a knowing gaze.

 "You miss Ezra?" Hera asked.

 That was it. Just three words. They could mean anything. They could mean the crew wasn't complete without him. They could mean he was the greatest friend she'd ever had, and now she didn't have him anymore. They could mean there were so many questions she didn't get the chance to ask him. They could mean that she missed how his sense of humor could brighten her hard days, and how he'd somehow always known the right thing to say while still never knowing the right thing to say, and that a part of her still needed him in her life. Those three simple words could even mean "did you love him?"

 But whatever those three words were meant to ask, Sabine knew the answer was "yes," and with that one word response came the breaking of a dam behind her eyes, and an onset deluge of tears.

 Sabine hadn't cried in front of Hera in ages— she hadn't cried in front of anyone in a long time— but Hera responded wisely, the only way she could. She got up. She walked around the table. She sat next to Sabine. She put an arm around her.

 And Sabine let herself cry for a moment there. If she hadn't been so distraught, she would've thought it was weird and embarrassing and would've left immediately, but all she could see right now was her grief, and that Hera was someone who understood.

 "There's so much I never told him," Sabine said, once she'd stopped crying. She let her words come out sharply instead of softly, hoping her anger would cauterize the tears, "so many questions."

 "I know," Hera said, "oh, I know."

 "Sometimes I have dreams," Sabine shook her head and pulled away from Hera a little, drying her cheeks with her sleeves, "dreams where everything's okay— where he's here, and we're happy, and I'm even being mean to him because I don't even think I could ever lose him."

 "You don't know how much you have until you've lost it," Hera shook her head, "you don't realize how precious every moment is."

 "Yeah," Sabine said, "makes you look at everything differently.

 "Yeah," Hera said.

 Sabine looked up at Hera and smiled a little for the first time in days.

 "Hera?" Sabine said.

 "Yeah?"

 "Thank you."

 "For what?"

 "I don't know," Sabine said, "I just know tomorrow's not guaranteed anymore, and I want you to know. I appreciate you a lot, and I'm glad I joined your crew."

 "I know," Hera nodded and smiled a little, with a hint of pride, "and Sabine?"

 "Yeah?"

 "I love you too."

[improvised-finish]

FFXIV Write 2024 - Prompt #10 - Stable

Content Warnings: Lehon'a is referred to with he/him pronouns, as this takes place before her transition in Shadowbringers, but not in a transphobic way.

Spoiler Warnings: None

Summary: After many moons away, Lehon'a returns to the Shroud to take advantage of the Grand Company system for an entirely selfish reason (the reason has feathers).

Check it out below, or on Ao3:

Lehon'a was over the moon, the happiest he'd been in days.

After being paraded from one major city to the next like a touring circus attraction, he'd finally settled on joining a Grand Company (though to be frank, he found the whole distinction a bit silly). He'd picked the Order of the Twin Adder, mostly out of lingering fondness for his home in the Shroud, if anything. He'd heard the stories of how outsiders to the forest had been treated by the Adders in the past, and he knew it was simply good fortune that they hadn't stumbled on him before his adoptive mother had.

All of that pointless pomp and circumstance was in the past, though, and now he could get to the really important part: the mount issuance.

He didn't want to say it aloud, but the promise of a license to ride a mount across the land was pretty much the only thing that kept him from telling all of the Grand Companies to buzz off. He'd patiently sat through meetings and completed stacks of paperwork, doubly so for his more unique mount situation. But the day had come at last, and he'd gotten the approval from the postmoogle that morning, all that remained was the walk to the stable at Bentbranch. 

—-

It ended up being more of a run, really.

He really just couldn’t help himself, given how many summers it had been since he’d last been to the stables. He came to visit in what seemed like every free moment he could spare as a child, but eventually he couldn’t keep up as his adventuring duties took him further and further afield. He really had missed spending so much time with the birds, smell and all. There was a unique type of bond that it seemed only chocobos were capable of, and one that Lehon’a hadn’t realized he’d valued so highly until he’d gone without it.

Lehon’a barely had time to worry that Felicitas might not recognize him; the stable quickly came into view and he heard that distinctive chirp echoing down the road. He spotted his chocobo not long after, and in a matter of moments he’d hopped the fence and just about tackled Felicitas in a hug.

“Felix!” Lehon’a yelled, overjoyed. “Oh, it’s so good to see you again!” He felt a familiar beak ruffling his hair, and let out a laugh. “Couldn’t ever get enough of messing with my hair, could you?” 

It was at this point that Lehon’a noticed a very bewildered looking stablehand holding a clipboard, presumably with some more forms for him to sign. 

“Oh! My apologies, I just uh… Well, I… I’ve known this bird since I was a kid, and I… suppose I got a bit carried away.” Lehon’a sheepishly untangled his arms from Felicitas’ neck, and turned to reach for the paperwork.

“That’s quite alright, just a signature here, here, and here,” the stablehand replied, relaxing into a smile upon realizing the person who’d practically assaulted the chocobo in his care was, in fact, the person who was supposed to take him. “Has he changed a lot since you saw him last?”

Lehon’a finished signing, and then walked a quick circle around the bird to see if he could spot anything different, or more importantly, any possible health concerns that had cropped up. Without a second thought, Lehon’a bent down to inspect Felicitas’ legs, sitting right in the sweet spot to take a kick to the head that would leave him dazed at best, and headed to a chirurgeon at worst. The stablehand looked on in shock and horror, but Lehon’a simply went about his work before hopping back up. 

“Looks like he’s grown just a little, but otherwise just as happy and healthy as the day I left him,” Lehon’a replied, answering the original question before noticing the concerned expression directed at him. “Oh, don’t worry. I know that’s usually the trouble spot, but Felix and me have had many years to get close to each other, so it doesn’t bother him if it’s me under there.” 

The stablehand’s expression changed again, into a sort of fearful reverence this time, but Lehon’a barely paid it any mind, fishing some pieces of apple out of a small pouch on his hip.

“So, anything else you need, or…?” Lehon’a trailed off, focused on making sure Felicitas got his treat. The stablehand shook himself out of the bizarre trance of admiration he’d fallen into. “...No, no! I’ll submit this to the Adders and you’ll be good to go.”

“Okay, thanks!” Lehon’a dusted his hands off on his pants, gave Felicitas a few good head scritches, and then hopped up into the saddle with the ease of a practiced professional. “See you ‘round!” Lehon’a yelled as he and his steed tore out of the stable, leaping over the gate and flying down the road. It seemed like after such a long time apart, Felicitas was eager to stretch his legs, and Lehon’a was happy to oblige.

[theflyindutchwoman]

How do you think the writers will take Chenford moving forward? I know exploring long-term UC for Lucy and how that will impact Chenford's relationship is a possibility, but what do you think about other things like proposal, marriage and kids? Especially kids, since that is something Tim and Lucy have talked about numerous times.

I have this thought that pregnancy storyline was always written mainly due to logistics instead of what the writers wanted in originally. This mainly stems from the fact that the few times they have pregnancy in the show were because the actresses that played Angela Lopez and Nyla Harper were pregnant themselves and thus pregnancy was written in the storyline, so it kinda makes me think Tim and Lucy having kids may not be something we will see in the series. What do you think?

Ooh speculation time… This might be an unpopular opinion, but I agree, I don't see Lucy and Tim having a baby in the near future, at least not if the writers have a say in it.

As you mentioned, these storylines have been written to accommodate the actresses' real life pregnancies (not sure for Angela's second baby). They didn't get to properly prepare in advance, hence the three unplanned pregnancies plotlines. And I think that's partially the reason why Tim and Lucy have been speaking about kids so much : the writers want to do with them what they didn't get to do with the other couples. We didn't see the conversation, the planning… None of that. They have this opportunity here. Even better, Lucy and Tim had both already their own arc about this topic : her with the fertility clinic and him with having his dream of being a father being dashed repeatedly. And it's something they've discussed together in the past, so it makes sense that they would bring it up from time to time. But I don't think that means they are planning babies just yet. Ideally, Lucy would first get settled in her career - same with Tim for that matter. Otherwise, it would simply be a repeat of Angela's struggles when she got pregnant just as she was becoming a detective. I also wonder whether they're going to reopen the fertility clinic arc or not… In the meantime, having them coach Little League or spend a day with their Make-A-Dream kid is actually a smart way to give us some insights on what kind of parents they could be, without having to introduce a child just quite yet. We may get to see them as parents one day, I'm not ruling it out completely, but it will depend on how many more seasons we get.

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say that the first order of business would be to resolve the undercover/promotion storyline for Lucy. The writers have been teasing this arc all season long, so it's time to move forward. I don't mean that Lucy necessarily has to take a final decision regarding undercover, just that she needs to get to the next stage of her career. Undercover aside, Tim already mentioned that their scheduling hours could present an issue once she makes detective, that they might spend less time together. So it would be interesting to delve a little into that, see how they make it work… which could, in turn, lead to a conversation about moving in together and/or buying a house. After all, that's the discussion that set the wheels in motion and brought Tim and Lucy together. So that could be a full-circle moment. And it could pave the way for the next step : proposal.

Now, I don't think we will see one next season : with S6 shortened, it might be tricky. I know it might also seem too soon, but these two are already serious and committed, they know what they want and they know the other very well. Besides, so far, all the main couples got engaged relatively fast : Wesley proposed to Angela after 6-9 months of dating, Nyla and James got married after a few months (though in all fairness, it was precipitated by the pregnancy) and Nolan was ready to ask Bailey after dating her for like 8 episodes?! There's clearly a pattern here. But again, with a shorter season and a wedding already planned, the writers might want to keep that for later… All in all, it will really depend on how short this season will be (we stand with WGA/SAG-AFTRA in this house) and whether they can get a renewal for s7.

[japhan2024]

Anthony... I.. I..

Ian couldn't quite say it, but his eyes, wide and extremely blue, told Anthony everything.

Ian and Anthony's adult friendship had many new dimensions to it. From deep talks at Anthony's house to long dinner nights out with Ian's friends. From working together again and searching for creative solutions whenever there was a disagreement, to getting high after hours when they were the only ones left at the Smosh office.

Anthony still didn't quite believe it when he would look into his best friend's eyes, and they would look right back at him, beaming. No more pent-up frustration, no more grudges to be held. And Ian would ask what was the matter, why was he tearing up. And he could only answer that he was happy because that bell of truth was ringing loud and clear in his heart.

And he knew his friend was happy too. Not only did Ian look better every day, fresh clothes, bling and haircut. But he demanded the attention of the room, wherever he was. Everyone would laugh at his jokes - of course Anthony would make an effort to still laugh the loudest - and he, in turn, would laugh at Anthony's jokes, something he only rarely did before.

All Anthony needed in a relationship was for the other person to love him unconditionally and affirmatively. It was no coincidence, therefore, that he fell a little bit in love with his best friend. The one who chose him so vociferously, after everything, after all those years. Every time he looked at Ian, his brown hair, his sharp nose, his full lips. And those eyes he hadn't been able to look into for such a long time. They were bright, blue, and a true window to Ian's soul, however cliche that might sound. Anthony loved staring into them. They were intoxicating... he forgot where and when he was altogether, but he didn't care. He wanted to get lost in that mysterious blue world.

And because of that forming crush, which he didn't quite realize yet, Anthony made an effort to look his best every day too. He'd spend a full hour in front of the mirror, practicing expressions and fixing his dark mane of curls. Ian once jokingly mentioned "Wow those pants look hot" and he would only wear that sort of pants ever since.

And then it happened.

Ian spotted a lonely eyelash and and carefully wiped it off of Anthony's cheek. Their cast member Courtney was sat in between them. Otherwise, Ian would surely have noticed Anthony's blushing gasp. Anthony couldn't think of anything else the rest of the day and laid wide awake all night, this new truth crashed into him.

I love Ian.

Anthony called Ian to come over. When he arrived, all kinds of scenarios shot through Anthony's mind. But he knew he must keep the walls down and tell Ian everything.

"Ian, I love you, you know that, right?"

"Of course. I love you too" Ian laughed a bit sheepishly.

"Well, haha that's so great! Um.." Anthony gulped. But he took a careful step towards Ian.

"Ian, ever since we've become friends and best friends again, you've been the most wonderful person.. the best person in my life. You've always been that, even during our worst moments."

Did Anthony see that right? Was Ian blushing?

"And.. well haha! You know me, I'm an awkward little freak!"

The joke cut through the tension a bit. But Ian didn't cut him off with more jokes. He took a step towards Anthony. Total panic. But he couldn't go back now.

"Ian, when.. when you are with me, I can do anything in the world. Without you, I'm a mess. And I've just realized.. I love you, like.. I'm in love with you."

Ian's mouth fell open. His eyes widened and he breathed in. He took another step towards Anthony. They stood really close now. Anthony was shaking. Slowly, he willed his hand up and fixed Ian's quiff for him.

"Anthony... I.. I.."

Slowly moving closer, nobody knew who took the initiative, but all of a sudden, their lips touched, and Anthony's entire body felt like it was on fire. Never in his life had he experienced this sensation. He felt himself open his mouth and invite Ian's tongue in. He felt Ian's soft and warm hands pulling his waist close while they held onto the back of his shirt. With shaking hands, Anthony stroked Ian's cheeks, his neck. Ian's beard tickled, and Anthony giggled through his nose. Ian did the same.

They took a moment to catch their breath. They looked at each other, carefully smiling, and Anthony felt tears run down his face. Before Ian could comment, he said "tears of joy," and kissed Ian, his Ian, his and only his, again.