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sanctus-ingenium · 2 years ago
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we need to talk about Inprnt.com
Following a really good post with more screenshots and evidence by @dynasoar5 i'm going to talk about my own experiences with @inprnt and why I am about to put my shop on indefinite hiatus from Monday the 14th of August.
First of all I'll say that since starting my print shop last year it has been a significant help to me financially - I was able to not worry about affording car insurance or motor tax (together commonly over a thousand euro) when I bought my first car, for example. I am immeasurably grateful to anyone who chose to buy one and I treasure all the pictures I've been sent of my prints hanging up on people's walls. Right now they are displayed in a real (if small) art exhibition in my home town.
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(top right print is not from inprnt though)
They're great prints. Never had any complaints about them. But here's what's going on behind the scenes.
Earlier this year, around March or April, Inprnt sales started increasing in regularity. I'd made as much as $600 a week during previous sales when I made proper promo posts here, but with this increase in regularity, I felt that I couldn't make promo posts every single week. And then one day, I'm not sure when tbh, the sale just never ended. It just didn't stop having that "Ending soon! 15% off your order" banner at the top of the site. Right now it says "Final Hours: $5 Worldwide shipping and save up to 35% off your order!" and not even for a second do I believe in this final hours bullshit. It's been 'final hours' for weeks now. Months, even.
Why is this a problem? Well, how tf am I meant to make a promo post for a sale that is always "ending soon!!" and then never ends. One week it'll say "this weekend only!!" and then when the weekend is over, the sale banner just changes its wording and the sale doesn't end. I can't promo this, it makes me look like a liar and a skeevy salesman by association! It makes the site look like it's 1 week from crashing and burning, and the site owners are just scrabbling to suck as much money from artists as possible before they drown.
And they are sucking money from us. To peel back the curtain, Inprnt money can only be transferred to my paypal account 30 days after the sale is made, just in case the order is cancelled and refunded. This means I used to make one withdrawal every couple of months, when there was enough build-up of money to make it worthwhile. It also forbids withdrawing any sum under $50 btw. I would make a withdrawal request and then, after a 10 business day wait, it would reach my Paypal account.
Not anymore! The past few withdrawals have taken over a month to complete. They are straight up keeping my earnings from me for longer the agreed period. This was my last fulfilled withdrawal:
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Note the date.
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Almost two months.
And here is the latest withdrawal request that still has not been fulfilled.
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It's coming up on 1 month and if the pattern continues, it could literally be November or December by the time I fully clear all sales.
So what's going to happen to my print shop? Because my art is currently being exhibited with a QR code linking to the shop, I can't close the shop this week. Instead I will close it on Monday the 14th of August, next week. That means that on the 14th of September, I can withdraw all of the remaining money without having any left over. My account balance will go to 0 and stay there. Although I'll de-list my prints I will leave my account there, because at the end of the day I don't want to leave Inprnt. It still offers the best artist margins and as I'm now unemployed after graduating, the additional support is such a load off my mind. So this is a chance to wait and see - if they improve their services, I'll happily re-open.
It's a big deal to me because selling prints is sort of my ideal life as an artist. I never had the attention span or self-discipline for commission work and I found that it left me creatively stagnant. I always want to try new things, new concepts and ideas, and being able to think "yeah, people will like this as a print" while I experiment is honestly very reassuring. And I know that in going on hiatus, it'll break a lot of "buy a print" links in my circulating posts. Oh well lmao. If you want to buy a print right now - go ahead, it might be your last opportunity. Another way to support me would be to check out my ko-fi for once-off donations or some nice sketchbooks/comics/book samples you can buy, or subscribing to my Patreon.
As of right now, Inprnt owes me $381 (the unfulfilled request submitted above for $186.60 and my current standing balance of $194.80 which takes 30 days from each transaction to clear).
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#399
“Oh man, Fuck!...  Oh sorry you had to hear that call.  Didn’t mean to interrupt you enjoying your brew.  It’s just that my girlfriend makes me so fucking pissed off….  Get this, she knows I work 14 days straight busting my ass on that drilling rig.  I am about to head home for four days of rest.  That’s a 7-hour drive, each way.  So she tells me that her sister and mother are in town staying with us.  My days of relaxing are shot to shit.  And worse yet there’s no way I’m getting her pussy.  I probably won’t even get head.  Ain’t that shit?...
“Oh sorry.  I forget that I’m not with a dozen or so other roughnecks out in the field.  All they talk about is pussy.  Most of them don’t have a girlfriend, let alone a wife.  Hearing them go on and on about fucking and getting a blow job, I forget that other people might talk about something else.
“My god, I just wanted to get home and kick back with a beer and get some head.  You know the kind of blowjob that goes on for an hour and it relaxes your entire body.  That doesn’t even include blowing your wad.  You know what I’m talking about?
“Oh there I go again.  Sorry if I’m telling too much....  I do that when I start drinking.   Do you care if I talk about getting blown?...  Good.  Thought so.  What man doesn’t want head at the end of weeks of working damned hard? 
“…Here’s to blowjobs!  Cheers! 
“Hey Frank! Get my friend here another beer….  Nah!  Put your money away.  I got this. 
“So your car broke down?...  We are one of two taverns for twenty miles.  The other is by the interstate one mile away.  At this time of day it’s quite deserted.  We typically only get locals in here.  That is, unless you are having work done at Mike Larson’s garage.  There’s not that much out here, just the garage, Frank’s tavern, the lodge, and the oilfield’s main office over there across the creek.  Was I right?  Is it your car?
“…That was not a happy nod.  So, you’re here for tonight… Oh wait, the garage is closed for the weekend.  You are here until Monday?  …Again, that nod tells me everything.  Well to make matters worse, there are no available women for at least 50 or 60 miles.  This is what this hellhole has to offer. 
“I don’t know about you but it looks like it’s going to be an evening of pounding the pud.  And when I get done, I’ll use my other hand to make it feel like I’m getting a handjob from someone else.
“Goddamn my girlfriend fucked this all up.  I only had this weekend off, before I have to report back here to start filling in for a bud on Wednesday.  She thought that I would want to spend time with her fucking family.  Sometimes I wonder why I’m still with her.
“You have a wife or girlfriend?... 
“…Huh!  Well, sometimes I wish I was like you, single.  But sometimes I really need to get my balls drained.  She gives great head though.  She’s the only girlfriend I had who can take my head in her throat.  I have a big schlong, and every woman I dated complained about its size.  It takes her a long time to throat me.  Most of the time I get frustrated, and I wind up grabbing her head and fucking her mouth.  Eventually it ends in her throat.  She has never taken me down to the root.
“But I really have to be buzzed to get into skull fucking the bitch.  The part she really hates is me dick slapping her.  As I said, I have a gigantic dick.  Smacking her upside her head with my cock usually throws her off balance.  So does a face slap with my hand. 
“When I get in the zone, I am all kinds of aggressive.  I am only after one thing, to bust my nut.  If that means roughing up the bitch, then she’s going to get roughed up.  If I’m drunk enough, I’ll not only fuck her cunt, but she’ll take me in her ass.
“Right now, if she were here, I would be fucking her in every position in every hole.  I wouldn’t care if she was enjoying it.  I’m so fucking horny.  I would use any woman right now.  I can’t have a weekend of jerking off.  Hell, if there was a faggot, I would use him the same way. 
“And it’s a good thing that I have a faggot sitting not ten feet away from me, paying attention to every word I say, licking his lips every time I mention blowjobs, and responding with awkward silence when I asked if he had a bitch back home.  No straight man acts this way.
“I would ask you if you are a cock sucking faggot, but we both know the answer.  Don’t we?  So this is what is going to happen.  I’m going to walk over there, to the men’s toilet.  You want my fat hog in your faggot throat, you follow me in.  Don’t say a word.  Get on your faggot knees and open your faggot mouth. 
“I’ll give you until I drain my piss.  If you don’t come in at that time, then you better be out of here and hide in your room at the lodge.
“I really got to piss, so you don’t have much time….
“…Well fuck.  I would have thought you would have taken some time to think about it.  But OK.
“I really have to piss.  While I do that get in the stall and on your knees.  Be ready for me.  I swear, the beers just pour right through me.  Oh, this feels good—
“What the fuck?  I’m not done pissing….  Oh?  So, you are one of those kinds of faggots.  Nasty piss drinking faggot!  Oh fuck, your mouth feels good.  You are definitely getting a reaction out of my hog.  That’s it for my piss for now.
“Faggot, see how big it is?  You think you can take it?
“Jesus fuck!  Right to the root with no problem!  Holy shit.  You faggots know what you are doing.  Oh man.  This is… fuck!  Oh my god! 
“Bob up and down.  Go head-to-root-to-head-to-root.  Fuck!  This is the blowjob I have been looking for all my life.  Lucky me I found me a faggot with car problems.
“Pull off.  I said, ‘Pull off!’  Look up at me.  Hold still…. 
“…What?  Nothing?  I just gave you one of the hardest bitch slaps I have ever given and you just take it….  Wait, what did you just say?  Did you just thank me… for bitch slapping you?
“Get up.  Get your faggot-ty ass up.  Let’s go.  Move!
“We are going to my room at the lodge.  You are going to spend your night with me. 
“Pay Frank your tab and leave a good tip.  Meet me outside…  A fifty?  You know what a good tip is, that or you didn’t care to wait for him to give you change.
“OK faggot.  I have never used a fag before.  But damn, that one minute in the toilet told me I have been missing out. 
“Over here.  I’m the last room.  The lodge is free for us roughnecks.  The company pays for our housing.  My room is at the end.  It’s a glorified motel room.  I have tons of beer.  You won’t get any, at least not without it going through me first.  Never did that before, but fuck I liked it.
“I plan on being here for four days.  You are going to spend your time with me and my cock down your throat.  You probably take it up your ass.  I will definitely try that out.
“Now listen up.  I have no interest in you or your dick.  I ain’t sucking you or getting fucked by you.  You try anything like that, and I will beat the shit out of you.  Understand me?...  Understand me faggot?
“And keep up the ‘Yes Sir!’  I like the sound of that.  Here we are.  Faggot this is all new for me.  But I will tell you this, I am liking what has been done so far.  I’m so ready to do this.  My cock has not lost it’s hard on.  I may never go back.  Faggot get inside and strip!”
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medialog april 2k25
ok first of all i just want to say that a few years ago i decided i would start always counting months monday to sunday, four weeks with a few fives, and this year april was a 5-week month, so this is actually not late and also that’s why thunderbolts, a movie i saw on may 4th, is on my april list (because i am a crazy person). ok anyway
books
toni morrison, playing in the dark: whiteness and the literary imagination — obviously great, but what i appreciated most about it was the way that morrison takes pains to clarify that her present interest is in the literary uses of blackness in american literature — its place in the toolbox of american writers — separate from the question of whether or not such and such author/book “is” racist. i am similarly very interest in projects that explore this kind of question from a formal, aesthetic perspective, which is not to say a depoliticized one but to observe that politics makes it known formally and aesthetically as much as it does didactically. there are much more interesting things to say about this stuff than “that’s racist” even though the existence of this phenomenon is of course inseparable from racism.
jennette mccurdy, i’m glad my mother is dead — as good as you’ve heard, and then some. often genuinely quite brutal to read, but told with a clarity and lightness (sometimes even a bracing and dark sense of humor!) that speaks both to what must have been enormous psychoemotional work on mccurdy’s part and to a real command of what she wants to say, which is in some ways the most moving aspect of the book—she talks about writing being a desire authentic to her, one her mother stifled, and it’s really gratifying to see proof in the book you’re reading that she’s good at it. she’s really deft with what details to include, and with the way that she writes her own present-tense first-person perspective in a way that never outpaces her own understanding at a given point in the narrative but still makes it unmistakable for the reader exactly what’s going on. also contains some of the most unflinching writing about EDs — across the spectrum — that i’ve read.
f. scott fitzgerald, tender is the night — i’ve said my piece on this already but: changed me as a person, forged me as a writer, the most gorgeously written book in the english language, weirder and more complicated and funnier than i remember every time i go back to it, never fails to move me profoundly in the closing sequence
suzanne collins, sunrise on the reaping — i just like the hunger games… i think objectively this is probably the weakest of the series because it’s basically the same as the first book but while haymitch is quite lovable especially given the affection readers will bring from his role in the OG trilogy, and while collins’s knack for sketching instantly memorable and likable characters that it’s really fucked up to watch die remains intact, there is just no competing with katniss, as perfectly constructed a protagonist as children’s lit has ever seen. but i read it in like three days and it was so sad and fucked up it almost made my tummy hurt (there’s one scene in particular i have to imagine will be toned down for the screen adaptation…) and the post-series epilogue made me cry for real lmao.
elif batuman, the idiot — i guess this book does what it sets out to do but wow i just could not care about this person or the “events” that “happened” (generous use of the words) at any point in this book at all. i actually also finished this one in three days but it was because i was so bored that i couldn’t bear the idea of waking up over and over in a world where i still had more of this book to read. i just didn’t care about anyone or anything or find the prose or scenes pleasurable in any way except for like 3 times one of which was that really funny line about eating a baguette where she’s like “the baguette required ear muscles i had lost in two million years of evolution,” that was great. but overall i was just not on the wavelength. i also was very annoyed by batuman’s use of repetition for comedic (...?) effect / pseudonaturalism (...?)... i didn’t find it funny or convincing and i noticed it really early so it just felt like a tic and every time she did it again i was like ENOUGH ALREADY.
david carr, the night of the gun: a reporter investigates the darkest story of his life. his own. — i like addiction memoirs because i have always felt a very profound “there but for the grace of god go i” resonance with substance abuse and i tend to find them oddly relatable despite never being even a moderately heavy user of literally anything. i also like stuff about the unreliability of memory. so i was the target demo for this book more or less and my review should not be taken as objective, but i thought this was pretty great. two anecdotes that sort of boil down this book’s deal: (1) there’s a part early on where he says something like “would you like my story if i said i was a fat thug who dealt bad coke and beat women? what if i said i was a father of two in recovery who had gotten sober to raise my twin girls? well both are true, so.” (2) the incident that spurred him into final rehab/full sobriety* for real was not the birth of his twin daughters but the night he left them in the backseat of the car to go get cocaine… which he remembered as both taking place shortly after their spring births and being cold enough to dress them in their snowsuits, a contradiction resolved when his brother reminded him he had in fact spent several months shooting cocaine while theoretically being a father. (*asterisk because this also includes, unusually in recovery memoirs, a section about his later relapse into alcoholism.) if that sounds like a guy you want to read a book about you’d probably like it too!
charles king, every valley: the desperate lives and troubled times that made handel’s messiah — this is one of those books that sort of uses one thing as a hook to take us on a little historical tour, in this case messiah acting as the excuse to lead us around 18th century england (mostly), its deranged political climate, its mix of enlightenment philosophy and often miserable living conditions sprinkled with steady outbursts of violence, its theater scene (including a truly bananas series of events surrounding suzannah arne, who makes her way in because she was one of the soloists in the first performances of messiah). i don’t care too much about this period in this place and i did kinda want a slightly deeper dive into messiah itself, but i had fun. i particularly appreciated the inclusion of the story of ayuba diallo, an educated and wealthy west african who got kidnapped into slavery on the way to doing some slave trading of his own and somehow talked his way out of it, becoming a bit of a british curiosity before heading home, no more antislavery than he left but having talked the royal african company into offering a ransom option for enslaved muslims… fascinating stuff.
george eliot, silas marner — i just feel like maybe no one has ever understood human psychology and behavior better than eliot did… this book is quite short (less than 200 pages) and its length and the clockwork nature of its plot give it the feel of a fable or a parable, but it’s so astonishingly dense with how many observations about the ways people can be she works into her sweet little story of redemption. she’s just such a warm, funny, wise narrator, it’s wonderful to be allowed to see the world the way she sees it… and it’s crazy that this book is a century and a half old, describing a world old-fashioned by the time it was published, and soooo many little moments, reactions, etc. feel so timeless and modern and fresh… like dolly telling silas “oh don’t bother to buy her baby clothes, she’ll outgrow them right away, i have some hand-me-downs you can use,” a conversation probably happening all over the world right now. this book also has some of the best writing i’ve ever seen about how great it is to hang out with a baby… at one point the baby pouts for her shoes to be removed and then after silas takes them off “baby was at once happily occupied with the primary mystery of her own toes, inviting silas, with much chuckling, to consider the mystery too.” like… that’s so real… babies literally do love to ponder the mystery of their own toes…!
george saunders, tenth of december — HELL YEAH FUCKIN RIGHT!!! finally i came across a story collection i actively enjoyed reading… saunders is weird and inventive and fun and funny and interestingly moralistic (not a criticism), and really above all i just loved reading his voice, i would have let him take me anywhere. i think my favorite story was the collection opener “victory lap,” which introduces to a pollyanna-ish young girl and then has her get child abducted… but is not remotely a story about how her sunny worldview is proven wrong. i was really pleased and moved by that. but honestly i enjoyed reading every story in the book. great stuff! wonderful times!
jenny offill, dept. of speculation — this was alright. i thought the writing was pretty good and i basically enjoyed it on a sentence level — it’s a novel told in short little bursts of prose, not even vignettes really, some almost aphoristic, and some of these were real knockouts in terms of being poignant or unexpected or funny. and i more or less liked reading the day to day observational stuff, the chapter about the actual horror of bedbugs, the early parenting material… unfortunately i was not compelled at all by the actual plot, which hinges on the disruption and subsequent repair of the marriage after the husband’s affair… some of my best friends are adultery novels but this one made me feel like the people who complain they are tired of litfic about professors and affairs (the protagonist is a writer/creative writing professor which… also a hard sell tbh. this is just not as interesting as writers want it to be). it also really had me like… man, the standards for men are so low it’s crazy… he fucks some girl at work or whatever and then we never like actually see him putting in any effort whatsoever into fixing things, we’re told she has to drag everything out of him in couples therapy, and then the thing that fixes it is they move out of brooklyn to the country…? girl stand up… i just did not buy the emotional resolution of this story at all even a little bit and i truly feel like to do so you have to have internalized a certain psychological weight and depth to the concept of “marriage” which is inseparable from having the most minimal emotional standards in the world for men. all that said i did find the format creatively/artistically stimulating to think about and potentially useful to tuck away thoughts about for the future.
david grann, killers of the flower moon: the osage murders and the birth of the FBI — this was really good and also (appropriately) incredibly upsetting. grann is a clean and thoughtful writer and he tells an incredibly compelling narrative about a series of acts beyond comprehension in the depth of their evil. he also makes a point of citing osage historians & writers repeatedly, which i appreciated. i always feel guilty about finding the investigative/procedural side of stuff fascinating but well… it was…. as was the stuff about hoover’s reforms & ambitions and the case’s role as early PR buzz for the FBI (including an episode of their radio show about it… yikes!). what is most devastating is what the final portion of the book is dedicated to, which is the reality that after william hale was convicted, the FBI considered the case closed even though hale had not been conclusively linked to all 24 victims of the “reign of terror”… grann traces how his own attempt to learn more from the record about one of the potentially unsolved cases leads to the realization that the scope of white people killing osage indians for their oil money certainly extends far beyond those 24 names, and he does such a good job of articulating the psychic toll that takes on a community for generations that i had to put the last couple chapters down a few times to take some breaths.
movies
the long kiss goodnight - this is a very weird and badly directed movie where geena davis plays an amnesiac who has hired samuel l. jackson to investigate her past and then it turns out she is a CIA agent which makes this the second movie i have seen where brian cox plays a fed in charge of an amnesiac assassin for the US government… i’d only have two nickels etc. the thing that really sinks this i think is that the director just does not understand shane black’s sense of humor at all or have the mastery necessary to walk the tonal tightrope necessitated by the script… but its badness does highlight how fun it is to watch jackson do anything
vanilla sky - weird movie but weird in a way where it’s like a strange high-concept premise with a deliberately confusing middle portion but it’s directed by cameron crowe who’s like the least weird man alive so it’s very normal feeling in a way that feels at odds with its central project…? bold to cast tom cruise at his peak and hide his face under a weird serial killer mask or post-car-crash disfigurement make-up for much of the runtime… his hair looks incredible and also freakishly like that of squall from final fantasy viii. i guess it was fine
companion - please put yellowjackets out of its misery after season 4 so sophie thatcher can go make a million silly horror movies for me to see her in <3 her AND harvey guillén, with a surprise jaboukie appearance? incredibly star-studded cast for the niche demographic of people who live in my apartment. don’t expect it to be any smarter than it needs to be but i had a lot of fun!
jack reacher - tom cruise… i actually don’t know how to classify this. i was going to say spy movie but it’s not really that… there’s some action but it’s not an action movie… but it’s too action heavy to be a legal thriller… i guess just a regular thriller? ish? rosamund pike… honestly might have been miscast but i love watching her so i don’t really mind. one time the mission impossible podcast guys said something about how mcquarrie lights skin in rogue nation and i did find myself watching this thinking everyone’s skin looks great (not great like “great skin” great like “i like the way you put this skin on screen” oh my god that sounds like serial killer language w/e you know what i mean)
the usual suspects - i wanted to watch this mostly because i’m so fascinated by the fac that christopher mcquarrie won an oscar for this screenplay and then couldn’t get a movie made for eight years and now he’s professionally tom cruise’s director more or less. ummm it was alright. the twist was spoiled for me by the key and peele cat poster sketch years ago but was still fun to watch. benicio del toro is sooooo good in every second he’s on screen i needed 300% more of him
high school musical 2 - this movie is crazy lmao the “we spent more than twelve dollars on it this time” vibes are off the charts both in the general look of the movie (which is clearly still a disney channel movie but like… a way more expensive one) and the choreo/group numbers, which have been beefed the fuck UP. the gay brother plays a piano in a pool??? watched this as the first one kinda sotned with one friend who was a fellow novice and two younger millennial friends who sang along with every song except the crazy fake hawaiian racist ashley tisdale number in the middle which they had completely blocked from memory. 10/10 viewing experience no notes
sinners - SLAAAAAPPED. really beautiful to look at for almost the whole time, insanely well-acted, creative and clever and, can’t emphasize this enough, so much more historically grounded than a hollywood product almost ever is… there’s like actual ideas here and they’re connected to reality and they’re expressed in interesting and compelling ways through the metaphorical valence of a pretty sick-ass vampire movie. the final fight scene is a little weak compared to everything else and there were a few points where i was like “ok i get it”... but i really fucking loved living in the world of this movie.
thunderbolts - idk guys… this one really worked for me… i loved bucky as like everybody else’s trauma elder… i loved every single thing florence pugh did in this film… i loved lewis pullman’s twitchy pathetic wet cat vibe and the concept of a character in a superhero movie whose whole deal is that he is seriously, actually incredibly unwell… the yelena/red guardian family stuff here worked way better than it did in black widow (one scene made me cry lol)… no laser lightning fights at ALL… they went as unflashy as possible with some of the effects in ways that made them actually much more effective… unbelievably funny gag in the ending credits art… JLD funny… geraldine viswanathan there??? but also all i ever wanted from these dumbass movies was for them to use silly superhero stuff to tell unsubtle stories about big human feelings and this one marries the content and theme about as well as the MCU’s ever done it, IMO, and definitely the best since before endgame. again there’s a reason despite falling very out of love with the MCU i have never changed my icon on this, a blog i started because i couldn’t shut the fuck up about bucky barnes, so i am not an objective observer here… but i had a great time at the movies
television
the white lotus (s3) - i’m like the only person on earth who hated s2 and therefore had zero expectations going into s3 and so i sort of agree with all the complaints that boil down to “this show is kind of dumb” but didn’t actually mind any of the dumbness at any time. public act of service IMO to introduce gen z to parker posey
yellowjackets (s3) - it’s actually crazy how fucking shitty and bad and stupid and horrible and inane and dumb this season of television was considering how much i loved the show before… like i’ve just never seen anything like it some of the all-time worst writing in the history of the screen. unbelievably bad. surreally bad.
daredevil: born again (s1) - idk fine i guess? reminded me that i did always find charlie cox as matt murdock a really charming performance but in a way where i wished he was in a show i liked rather than one that was… fine. i never made it past season 1 of the netflix series but well it wasn’t homework for two separate ringer podcasts back then so i’ll probably tune in for s2 to access that sweet sweet Content
currently watching: andor, which it turns out everyone on earth correctly identified as Good Actually; we picked up cheers as a chillout sitcom watch and it really makes going to work in a bar where you and your boss sexually harass each other all day look sooooooo appealing
music
had an off month for music bc i started feeling overstimulated generally and couldn’t listen to any music at all for a while and then my phone broke… so not a lot of albums this month. but i have a bunch loaded on to a playlist and am tentatively optimistic about resuming my albums era! (finding my bluetooth headphones would help though.) this month’s single is this gorgeous track by debby friday which starts out light and trancey and goes in a sort of caroline-polacheck-remix-of-everything-is-romantic direction and just soars really beautifully:
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ALT BLK ERA, rave immortal - loud & dumb & fun! they’re already wearing out their welcome but i enjoyed it
alisa xayalith, slow crush - i really loved her single “what the hell do we do now” but the album didn’t quite live up to its promise… pretty but mostly forgettable although a couple tracks might stick around
ZORA, Z D A Y - zora’s first 2025 album back in jan was the first new release i really loved and is still one of my faves of the year so i was very disappointed that this one was kind of a miss for me… not sure if it was rushed or if she’s just doing a different vibe but it felt very half-assed and forgettable
Btrickz, 80’z - a charming 11 minutes of chatty-sounding hispanophone rap, not my fave kind of thing but a cool vibe
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marthawrites · 2 years ago
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"don't shut me out. please"
I hope it is not too late for me to join the celebration ☺️ Congratulations! 💕👏🏼
Thank you sooososo much! You are such a gem and I appreciate all of your fandom love more than you know! I did my best to include a (one shot appropriate) slow burn, angst, and a happy ending. I hope you enjoy this ride MWAH!
Summer's End, Autumn's Beginning
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Modern Aemond Targaryen x fem reader
Word Count: 6.3k+
About: A chance encounter with Aemond leads to a whirlwind of emotions. Over the next few months you both fail, in yourselves and in the relationship, and learn from the mistakes.
Includes: Chance encounter, age difference (references to Aemond x Alys) mentions of cheating, allusions to cheating, angst, second chance romance, and smut featuring vaginal fingering, possessive sex, and unprotected protected vaginal sex
Note: Hello lovely reader! This is the longest piece I've wrote in quite awhile - whew! I also feel like it's one of the more ambitious one-shot fics I've worked on/completed. Reader is non-descript. As always, please, enjoy!
read part 2 Between the Covers here
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I.
There were two things tied for number one on your five-year goal list.
First, be out of your city apartment (preferably as a home owner and not a renter)
Second, have a dog. 
They went hand in hand. One couldn’t happen without the other. So, it was a hard tie and you weren’t willing to budge on either. Until then, to take the edge off your self-proclaimed animal loneliness, you volunteered at a local shelter two nights a week. Mondays and Wednesdays.
While your day job wasn’t a doctor, lawyer, or professional athlete – ones that your family pushed you to have while growing up – it still paid decently and had the potential for career advancement. And! You were able to live on your own. Not having a roommate was worth the dry job description. Besides, your boss was fair and most of your co-workers were friendly; a win win, really.
Tonight, Monday, you finished your shift, went home to change, then headed out to the shelter. Even though it was all volunteer hours you valued punctuality and did your best to get there around the same time each night.
“Hey! You made it!” Arryk called out to you when you stepped inside the building. Chaos sparked all around. He did a great job running and maintaining the schedule, and with the help of volunteers alongside regular staff, it was, more often than not, smooth sailing. Tonight, however, it appeared quite the opposite.
“Hey! Yeah, a few minutes later than usual, sorry!” You said as you walked over to him.
He waved a hand brushing off your apology. “No worries. We had a few people call in today. So, since being short staffed we’re definitely running behind. I know you normally help bathe the dogs with Baela tonight, but can I ask you to do something else instead?” He winced slightly with his question, unsure of your answer. He knew how much you loved Baela and cleaning the dogs!
You squinted at him suspiciously. “Why are you looking at me like that?” You asked, crossing your arms. “You know I won’t administer shots. If I could get over my fear of needles I’d be a veterinarian and not an office worker like I am!” You scrunched your brows before one, all on its own accord, arched up dubiously.
“Ha!” He laughed. “No no no, I know. We have six dogs that need walking tonight. And I don’t think Targaryen can handle all of ‘em.”
“Helaena? She’s back?” You asked, eyes bright with surprise.
“She’s still away for that college trip. It’s her younger brother, Aemond. Have you met him before?”
You’d heard Helaena talk about him, of course, but you’d never met him. Shaking your head, you peered around the shelter looking for anyone else with the Targaryen tell-tale silver-blonde hair. No one caught your eye. “I haven’t. But, I don’t mind.”
“You are a lifesaver!” He praised. “He’s down the west hall getting them ready. Depending on how long you're here afterward, there might be another couple who could use a second walk. Terriers. You know how they are.”
“Happy to help, Arryk!” He was a good guy. You’d always liked him.
“Aemond’s tall, towheaded as the rest of his family, and has an eyepatch. You can’t miss him.” And with that Cargyll switched tasks and got right back to work.
Turning and walking down the west hall, you were happy to say, chaos began to fizzle out. This hall had the larger dogs; no wonder Aemond wouldn’t be able to walk all six at once. Even with the slow turn of summer to autumn sunset wouldn’t be for another three hours. Assuming all went well you’d be able to walk the second batch of dogs, too. 
Down the aisle were five opened doors with each respective dog ready for their walk. Their leashes were hooked onto the door so they couldn’t run amuck. You patted and scratched them, earning yourself more wagging tails, a few happy barks, and some excited licks. Looking to the end of the hall you saw someone who you assumed was your evening walking partner. He was kneeling, talking soothingly to a great big senior hound, while clasping the final buckle of their harness. “Hello, uh-, Aemond?” You called out feeling slightly self-conscious. 
Still kneeling, he turned his head to look up at you. Any softness in his single eye quickly hardened to match the rest of his sharp features. “Hey,” he said, caught off guard by your presence; someone he’d never seen calling him out by name. “Is there something I can help you with?” Slowly, in a single fluid motion, he stood up and the aged dog kept his eyes on him the whole time, panting happily.
Whoa. He was tall. And, at first sight, incredibly good looking: dressed in casual black clothes, long silver hair tied into a braid, with a scar along the left side of his face that you had to tell yourself not to stare at. His mouth was a unique shape, too, and you weren’t sure if he was merely waiting for a response or if he was smirking the tiniest pout at you. “Hi,” you said again with a nervous laugh. You told him your name. “Arryk sent me. Said you could use some help with the walk tonight?” ‘Play it cool, dummy. He’s really handsome, so what? He could be a huge asshole. Play. It. Cool,’ your inner voice said.
Did he have a mechanical eye beneath his patch? The way he looked at you, then, made you feel like he read your thoughts. “Ah. I could certainly use the help,” he said smoothly with a small curve of lip, turning his attention to the three dogs at the front of the hallway. “Wanna take those three?” He asked, looping the big dog’s leash around his wrist. “I mean, you can have any of them as long as I get this guy. He’s my favorite.”
Your pulse raced a little too fast. Clearing your throat, you smiled in an attempt to ease the butterflies in your belly. “I don’t mind. Why is he your favorite?” You turned and began to unclasp leashes from their doors; happy tips and taps of claws growing louder at the pups’ excitement.
“Reminds me of my girl at home,” Aemond replied, adoration clear in his voice. “Big and old, a little stinky, a little slobbery. The best kind, really.”
“Aw, that’s very sweet. I don’t have any pets. I get my fix here,” you laughed. Holding all three dogs in one hand, you pulled the door open with the other. Except, it didn’t open. On instinct, you tried again hoping Aemond didn’t notice.
He strode up next to you with the rest of the dogs in tow, smirking at you for real this time, as he said, “it’s a push door.”
You knew it was a push door. Fuck. He gave you a knowing glance over his shoulder as he walked out, waiting for you to follow along.
II.
You didn’t see Aemond on Wednesday and you couldn’t deny your disappointment when you left for the night. Come to find out you two had been volunteering at the same place for months – only on different days. He tended to be there Tuesdays and Thursdays. 
Monday had been a chance encounter. One you couldn’t shake out of your head. 
Before leaving tonight, however, you took a selfie with Aemond’s favorite old hound. You’d exchanged numbers but hadn’t an excuse to strike up a conversation. Yet. Now, with the selfie as an excuse, you opened a fresh text thread and sent him the photo along with:
Someone missed you tonight! 
While buckling up in your car and getting ready to reverse out of your parking spot, your phone dinged with an incoming message:
Very cute. Will you be there on Monday? Maybe Cargyll will assign up walking duties again.
Your belly flipped. Truthfully, you weren’t expecting him to message back – especially so quickly. Before you could stop yourself you sent back:
Yup! See you then?
And he sent:
I’ll find another excuse to be there. 
Feeling a little bold, you replied:
Excited to see you again! You have these adorable dimples when you smile. Maybe I’ll see those, too?
When nothing came through for a few minutes, you feared you might have gone too far. It was just a little innocent flirting, right? Nothing bad? And then:
Maybe so. See you Monday.
Smiling, you didn’t send anything back. It’d be your luck to say something dumb and rub him the wrong way. 
During your first walk, as soon as the ice broke, you both clicked really well. Hopefully – just maybe – things would flow like that again. The connection you felt, something akin to a liveware, couldn’t have been one-sided. He had to feel a spark of it, too; even if just a little.
You drove home, made dinner while facetiming one of your friends from uni, and when she asked about the spark in your eye you told her about your friend Helaena’s younger brother.
III.
“I seriously cannot believe you’ve never seen The Lord of the Rings. The Hobbit trilogy was a little silly, but watchable. But you haven’t even seen that?” Aemond asked clearly aghast at your lack of understanding his reference.
Tonight, you both got walking duty again and neither of you complained. And, this time, he regarded you with a softer look in his eye than his original sharp glance. He was dressed in dark casuals again and you hated (loved?) how good he made them look. His hair was in a bun and his eyepatch stayed firmly in place. You wanted to ask him about it but weren’t sure if you should try it yet. Instead, you rolled your eyes and laughed. “You’re making it sound better and better the more you talk about it.”
“That’s because it’s the best.” The dogs pulled both of you along and you had to walk brisker than normal to keep up with them and Aemond’s longer legs. He seemed unaffected by it.
“So, you recommend I watch it?” You asked playfully.
“No,” he started, very serious. “I recommend you read it first and then watch the movies.”
If you had more breath in your lungs you’d have giggled – not laughed, but giggled. Something about the way he said it, and the totally serious look on his face, tickled you. “Will you watch them with me?”
The question appeared to catch Aemond off guard. He looked at you, lingering over your pinkened cheeks and smirking lips, before finally making it back to your eyes. Just when he opened his mouth to say something in reply, a completely unrelated thing stole his attention. Sometime during your bantering you’d made it back to the shelter, and a tall dark-haired woman called out, “there’s my sweet Aemond. I’ve been trying to get a hold of you and you haven’t been answering your phone.”
If you thought Aemond attractive, this woman made him look like any regular ol' Joe. She was elegant, warmed by a late summer tan, and had raven dark hair cascading down her back; truly a vision of enchantment. When she sauntered to him and pressed her body to his, you felt like a voyeur watching the embrace.
“Alys,” Aemond breathed quietly. “What do you want?”
“You know what I want,” she answered as she trailed manicured fingers across the front of his chest.
She had a timeless look to her, the kind that concealed her age. She could have been anywhere from twenty-five to fifty, you thought. You really hadn’t a clue. All you knew, now, is that you should finish your task alone.
Aemond’s throat bobbed as he swallowed. Posture tense. “I told you I was busy tonight–”
Before you could stop yourself you cut him off with an awkward wave. “See you later, Aemond.” And, with that, you walked inside before you overheard anything else they might be saying to each other. Turning to glance over your shoulder one last time, you were met with a look of deliberate triumph from Alys; she had the greenest eye you’d ever seen. 
It was haunting.
Driving home, you felt stupid. Aemond was just a guy you just met. It was silly to think someone like him would be single and even sillier to think your innocent flirtations would be working on him. You had half a mind to delete his number. Or, at the very least to delete the short message thread of your texts.
Instead of making dinner like you normally did, you called in delivery and facetimed with your friend as you waited. She immediately knew something was off and you were quick to tell her everything that happened.
Twenty minutes passed and you were starting to feel better. It’s not like you two hooked up or even kissed. It was just a chance meeting with playful banter. Nothing to get shook up about. “Food’s here. Thanks for listening to me. I’ll talk to you later. Love you!” You said as you got up to answer the door. 
When all else failed, your favorite food could always make you feel better.
Turning the tv on and sitting down amongst your couch pillows and blankets, you were getting ready to dig in when your phone rang. 
Aemond. 
Your insides did a weird flip and hunger disappeared entirely from your mind and belly. Should you answer? Let it go to voicemail? Turn the stupid thing off and completely ignore him? Right before the final ring, you decided. “Hello?”
“Hey,” he said, immediately sounding relieved. “I’m sorry about that. I wasn’t yet ready to call it a night with you.”
“It’s no biggie,” you replied. Lying. “I didn’t want to interrupt anything–,” you paused, searching for something else to say to soften the edge of your voice, “–the dogs were getting tired anyway.” God. It sounded stupid even to your own ears.
Aemond sighed through the phone. You wondered if he slid his hand down his face or through his hair. It sounded like he did. “No. Alys is… it’s complicated. She’s my ex and–”
“ –you don’t have to explain anything to me,” you said, cutting him off. “Really. It’s fine.” Despite it being a phone call, you tried to smile as if it would blunt the dismissal of your tone.
“I mean it,” he said. “I really wasn’t ready to say bye yet. What do you say you skip your regular Wednesday night plans and grab a milkshake or something with me?”
Your insides flipped again but for an entirely different reason this time. You knew it: the sparks definitely weren’t one sided. The firm set of Aemond’s jaw and the rigidness of his shoulders flashed once more in your mind’s eye. Since your break up with your long-term boyfriend you’d been on a few dates, but none of them lead to anything worthwhile. With how you and Aemond clicked, however? This date might lead to something more than a hook-up (or, attempt at a hook-up. Some men truly had no game). “Are you sure…?” You asked after a moment. “You and Alys looked pretty comfortable–,”
“ –I’m sure,” it was his turn to cut you off.
“Alright then. Let’s do it.”
IV.
It'd been two months since your first milkshake date with Aemond – the first of many dates. It was a guilty pleasure of yours and apparently one of his, too!
Your first kiss, first time meeting his elder dog, Vhagar, and first time meeting his family were all memories you cherished. 
The more you learned about Aemond’s relationship with Alys, the more you understood it "complicated". Including Targaryen drama, Targaryen business, and a list of other things you had a hard time following. It didn’t matter anymore, though, Aemond reassured you. Things were done between them and he only wanted you; proving it to you with fingers and mouth until you begged for a break.
A lesson you learned from your last relationship – one Aemond learned from his, too – was to be careful with love. As much as you genuinely enjoyed him and his company, a barrier stood between you that neither dared yet to cross.
Love.
Each day you fell for him a little more; you were scared to admit it. The scar of heartbreak healed slowly. Could you truly trust Aemond with that part of yourself? With the very essence of your heart? It’d been two months and you still weren’t entirely sure.
If he felt the same he’d say something, right?
Autumn blanketed the lands with brisk air, rainy days, and rolling fog. As days grew short and nights long, you and Aemond spent more time at your apartment or his quarter at the Targaryen estate. Your apartment was the clear favorite. Living alone had its perks: never having to worry about nosy family or friends who showed up unannounced.
And thank God you didn’t live with anyone else. 
"Mmh… fuck, baby, I've been thinking about this all day. I can't get enough of you. Let me make my girl feel good," he said against your mouth as one of his hands moved up the inside of your thigh. "Are you wet already? I bet you are," he chuckled, fingertips tracing your slit. "Mmm… I knew it. Your clit is sooo needy, isn't it?" 
Shit. Those hushed words, the glint in his eye, his rasped tone… you happily indulged him in whatever way he wanted. And him, you. Fingers, mouth, cock, he quickly learned what tricks made you melt. 
As much as he loved having you ride him, or bending you over, his absolute favorite was fucking you into the mattress. You sprawled out beneath him, hair messy and fanned out around your head, legs wrapped tight around his waist, fingernails on his body… he could never get enough of your blushed face beneath him, trembling and arching as he pushed you to peak after peak.
Your sheets had never been cleaned so often in your entire life.
It was particularly rainy today and you were both finished with everything on your to-do list. Aemond sat on the floor in front of you as you lounged in your overstuffed chair. You told him you'd read the Lord of the Rings as long as he read it to you. He didn't even pretend to be annoyed by your bargain. He read to you from his own collection, claiming he liked the worn feeling of the pages better than a new book's pages. 
Like any proper reader Aemond started with The Hobbit. You enjoyed it more than you thought you would. More so than the story, however, you enjoyed him reading aloud to you – he had the loveliest voice. You were about half way through The Fellowship of the Ring and the story continued to get better.
But, all afternoon, Aemond's phone never stopped going off. It seemed like every few minutes it would ping with some kind of notification. "Who's blowing you up?" You asked, annoyance creeping into your tone.
Stopping mid sentence, he looked. "Alys," he sighed as he scrolled through the various messages. 
You tried to not look over his shoulder to the texts. You really did. But there was something about Aemond's shift in posture, and the air around him, that made you suspicious. "What's going on?" You asked in your best nonchalant manner.
"She's asking if I have some of her clothes at my place still," he answered and you swore you saw pink spread atop his cheeks.
That caught you off guard. "Why would she have clothes–"
And whatever else you were going to say was abruptly cut off.
There, in a new string of messages, was the single text line, "I miss you, baby boy," followed by at least three photographs of Alys in lingerie and various stages of undress. 
"What the fuck Aemond!?" You asked, anger and hurt instantly warming your blood. "What the hell were those? Are you fucking joking?"
"I have no idea why she sent–"
" –is that why she left clothes at your place? Couldn't let her go for real? Jesus Christ I can't believe you." Anger flushed your face and bittered your words.
"Listen, please. Hear me out, bab–"
" –oh fuck off, Aemond, you don't get to 'babe' me around anymore. In fact, just leave."
He looked as hurt as you. And shocked. A hundred emotions played across his chiseled features. "No, really. Let me explain," he pleaded with eye and tone.
You weren't having it. You were cheated on before and he knew it. It made your own hurt cleave even deeper. You really fucking liked him. Maybe even loved him. And this whole time he had you and Alys? "I'm seriously about to get really fucking angry. Leave. Now."
He stood and left. Silent fury screamed around him like a whirlwind. He didn't even give you one final look over his shoulder.
He shut your door with a deliberate click.
You curled up in your blanket alone as fat ugly tears streamed down your face. You couldn't be bothered to grab a tissue for your snotty nose. 
Aemond's leather jacket was still draped over the back of your couch and his book still lay on the floor. Your crying somehow turned uglier at the realization.
Eventually you dozed off. With Aemond, you always had your phone on silent so you didn't hear all his missed calls and texts.
V.
The following month went by in a blur; you drowned yourself in work. You also stopped volunteering because you didn't want to give Aemond the opportunity to meet you there. By some feat of strength you ignored all his attempts at talking – and by proxy, apologizing.
The only thing you said to him was a single text:
I need time. Please understand
Part of you wondered how it affected him. His calls and texts became sparse until they eventually stopped.
Helaena asked where you'd been and you felt horrible lying to her. So, you didn't. After telling her the story she sighed and asked if you'd want to grab tea. You agreed. Meeting her at a local cafe allowed you to air out your feelings; laughs and tears alike. She was kind, and sweet, and supportive without being passive. She loved her brother but knew he had many of his own issues. You'd been friends for over a year and this was the first true heart to heart you shared.
Upon returning home you picked up the Fellowship and tried to read from where Aemond left off. But, it wasn’t the same without him and it only made you cry. Again.
VI.
The following morning, despite your car's newer model, it barely wanted to start for your drive to work. By a stroke of luck you made it there fine. And, made it back home that evening, too. But that was the end of your luck. It needed to be picked up and taken to a shop until a mechanic could see it.
Carless, you had to rely on Uber or public transportation. Yuck.
A few days of stress passed and now you were done for the week. Thank God for weekends. Unfortunately your groceries were extremely low and you would need to make a trip in the morning. You sighed and used it as an excuse to order pizza.
After waking up and a breakfast of (the last, and past its sell-by date) packet oatmeal you got around to make the walk to the nearest grocery store. Knowing you'd be walking home, too, the list was small. Carrying bags up two flights of stairs was hard enough, much less carrying them home a mile!
On the way back it started sprinkling. Great. Just great. You started walking faster with hopes of making quicker time than your leisurely stroll to the store. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, you heard your name called. Was that…? Stopping in your tracks you looked across your shoulder to the side of the road and saw none other than Aemond. You knew his car and voice anywhere. You didn't have to see yourself to know a dozen emotions played across your face.
"Hey," he said gently, his own features a mirror of yours.
"Hi," you said.
"Why are you walking in the rain with groceries?"
Slumping your unintentionally scrunched up shoulders, you sighed. "Stupid car died on me and it's been with the mechanic for almost a week."
He smiled softly. So soft. The outside of his seeing eye crinkled and emotion rushed to your chest. Your gut. "You're way too good to be walking alone. Let me drive you home at least?" 
You didn't resist. How could you? "Alright. Sure. Just dropping me off though, okay?" Guilt panged your chest. Did he feel it too? Could he read it on your face he knew so well?
"Alright," he answered, expression falling just slight. You might as well have stomped on his foot with how it affected you.
I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry. Can we try it again? Can I hold your hand? God I love your hair in a ponytail. You smell good. Did you see the trailer for that new horror movie? I miss you. I love you. I'm sorry. It all turned around your head like a fucking rotisserie chicken. It shouldn't be so hard to say any of those things to him. But it was.
You didn't say anything on the short ride home. Neither did he. His right hand flexed a few times and you wondered if he was having a hard time, too.
"Can you get it all upstairs?" He asked as he pulled into an empty spot and parked, looking across to you with horribly concealed emotion.
"Yes, but…," you trailed off momentarily, trying to read his face. "I still have your book and jacket. Wanna come up and grab them?" You asked hopefully.
He killed the engine faster than you could blink. "Yes! So that's where they've been. You could have mentioned it sooner," he said slightly accusingly, grinning at you with a spark of playfulness.
Leading the way upstairs to your apartment, you unlocked the door and disappeared inside. After placing your items down and grabbing Aemond's, you turned to look at him standing in the doorway. He leaned against it. Waiting. Quiet. He glanced around with a wistfulness that made your throat tight. You watched him watching you and your home until the air became awkward – was it half a second, a few seconds, longer? You weren't sure. 
Slowly you walked over to him. Your gaze flickered up at him as you handed his things back. "Were you ever going to tell me the truth?" You asked. "Did you think I really wouldn't find out? Why did you stick around if I wasn't good enough?"
He blinked. Taken back. "You never even gave me the chance to explain." His jaw feathered before it tightened. His eye hardened.
You grabbed the door, fixing to close it on him. Now that you started talking – unloading pent up questions which kept you tossing and turning at night – you couldn't decide if you wanted to slam it on his face or yell. "I told you how I was cheated on! And you did it anyway! I trusted you, Aemond." Your voice thinned, sounding shrill even to your own ears.
One of his hands braced on the door so you couldn't close it on him. "So this is your revenge then, huh? Punishing both of us? Why don't you trust me?" Hurt and fury simmered in the lovely hue of his eye. A storm. No, a hurricane. "Alys and I have been done for months. Months. Even before you and I met. I'm sorry for what she did but I can’t control what she does. She was playing her wicked games trying to sabotage us– you and me. Don't shut me out. Please." 
He pleaded, every pore and line of his face begging for forgiveness. As each word came off his tongue they clicked into place in your head. He meant it. He was telling the truth. Before you could stop yourself your fists balled into the front of his shirt, pulling him down so your mouth crashed up to his. "You mean it?" You asked through the kiss.
Instantly he leaned down into you, and instantly he held onto your waist pulling you deeper against him. His other hand cradled the side of your face daring to curve along the shape of your skull. "I mean it. Yes I fucking mean it," he answered against the kiss; breath stealing yours away until it left you in a little moan.
You pulled him inside and shut the door, locking it. You moaned as he nipped and bit at your neck. Your heart thumped wildly. He sucked at the sensitive skin, again and again, pulling away just before leaving a mark. "God, Aem,” you whimpered. Goosebumps covered your body. The only thing on your mind was him.
"Fuck, I missed you. I missed you so much." His hands were somehow all over you all at once. His mouth trailed, and dragged, and kissed over any exposed portion of your skin. He happily pulled off layers of your clothing to expose more and more of your soft, warm, saccharine flesh; intoxicating him. After weeks of your separation the last thing he wanted to do was to push too far too fast.  “Can I take this off?” He asked before taking your shirt off.
“Yes,” you replied breathily. “Fuck it. Take all of it off. I missed you too. So much,” you said as you helped pull his clothes off, too. He pushed you against a wall. You kissed. Heavier, and hotter, and hungrier. You pushed him against a wall. 
He gasped as he smirked. “I love when you act all tough when we both know I can have you squirming under me in minutes,” he growled, pupil swelling. The dimples at the very corners of his mouth betrayed his amusement, however, as he once again pushed you against the wall. You were both only in your underwear, now, and his lean body on yours had you aching. “My tough girl… how quickly do you think it’ll last when my fingers are in you?”
“Why don’t we find out?” You asked defiantly, knowing damn well it wouldn’t last long at all. By now you were both down the hallway and your bedroom was only a couple feet away. You needed him. Now. And judging by how fucking hard he was he needed you too.
The next moment went by in a blur and before you could catch yourself you were sprawled out on your back atop your bed. Aemond made quick work of moving you both inside, and made quicker work of pulling your panties down. He groaned as your thighs immediately spilled open for him. He dragged two fingers up your slit and circled your clit with your arousal. “Shit–,” he hissed. “Never make me wait so long to have this pussy again. Do you understand me? Never,” he said as he worked your already swollen clit. He played with it just how he knew you liked it and your cunt’s tiny wet sounds sent his cock throbbing. “Answer me.”
Tension built in the low muscles of your belly. Your legs began to tighten already – one of the tell-tale signs of your approaching climax. How the hell could he push you there so quickly? “N-never! Ahh-h never again!” You replied, voice light, and sweet, and tantalizing as any sin Aemond ever knew. “Please, Aemond, I want to cum…!”
He shoved those same two fingers into you. “Good girl,” he said as he curled those fingers. “This pussy is mine. All fucking mine. Give it to me,” he said huskily as he worked them in and out of you. It was sloppy and wet. Borderline obscene. Each time he slammed his hand against you he was mindful to press the heel of his palm against your clit and your mound, knowing how the extra pressure sent your pretty toes curling.
You cried out his name as your eyes clenched shut. The tension in your belly snapped and a wave of glorious bliss washed over you. Sweat sheened between your breasts and along your lip. You arched, quivered, shuddering in the aftermath of his intensity. 
Aemond’s mouth crashed to yours and you threaded your fingers through the roots of his hair. It was still in a ponytail and you had no mind to take it out, you just had to pull him deeper into the kiss. He tasted the salt of your sweat and groaned. “Relax your pussy, baby, you’re clenching me really hard. It feels amazing but I don’t wanna hurt you pulling out,” he said tenderly, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck.
“Sorry,” you giggled. “Just feels too good.” You tried to steady your breath and relax as he laid beside you, continuing to kiss your neck and shoulders. When your spongy walls finally eased around him you were sad to feel him withdraw. Stress melted away from your subconscious and you wanted to thank him for the pleasure. You wondered if your eyes said it while he looked at you.
Leaning up, he discarded the final piece of his clothing and sighed in relief as his cock sprang free. He got between your thighs and looked down at you hungerily. “Look at you all doe eyed already. See? I knew you couldn’t stay tough for long,” he said, smug, as he lined up with your drenched cunt. He held one of your legs up against him, and you pressed the other against his side. 
When you left for the store this morning you had no idea your afternoon would go in this direction.
He pushed into you. Inch by inch he sunk into you and soon he was as deep as he could be. A moan escaped both of you, and a throatier one left him when his free hand tugged at your bra. It was one that clipped in the front. He popped it open and rocked into you as soon as your tits spilled free. "You're so sexy like this."
With your body already sensitive from your first orgasm, and now with Aemond building a rhythm between your thighs, you weren't going to last long. "You feel so good," you purred, eyelids heavy. "Fuck I missed you."
Another sound left his chest and when you wrapped your legs around his slim waist you swore you felt goosebumps pebble all along his skin. Or, maybe those were your goosebumps on your legs. Whatever the case, Aemond leaned forward and kissed you again. "I missed you too," he rumbled. "Gonna let me fill this pretty pussy with my cum again?"
You two made good use of your birth control and you weren't about to deny him – or yourself – the pleasure of being thoroughly fucked and stuffed. "Y-yeah," you stammered, smiling.
Aemond mumbled something incoherent into your neck, and if your brain wasn't foggy from his perfect fucking cock you might have caught what he said. 
He leaned up and supported himself on his forearms, pressing his forehead to yours. "You're my girl. You're my fucking girl. You're my fucking girl," he repeated again and again until the pace of his thrusts grew sloppy. Somehow the sloppiness of it, the neediness and urgency of his voice, sent emotion swelling in all of you.
Heat collected and grew out from your spine, webbing throughout your entire body. You clung to him desperately. You rolled your hips up into him and shamelessly grinded your clit against his pelvis as he drove in and out of you. It was all too much. You crumbled beneath him and let orgasm take control of you. The depths of your body squeezed and convulsed around him, holding him tight and soaking the fullness of his length with your slick. He never stopped or paused his thrusts. 
His own peak followed. Once he was as deep as he could be he released everything he had into you. He stayed there, both of you panting through little moans, until he no longer twitched between your stretched walls. Slowly, he pulled out, and slowly, his seed dribbled out of you. Grinning, he rolled onto his back and scooped you against him.
"Let's stay here like this all day," you mumbled happily, fingertips trailing up and down his abdomen and chest.
"You'll get no argument from me," he said.
Quiet minutes passed and the sound of his heart nearly put you into a trance. "I'm sorry for how I acted," you finally admitted.
All the while he'd been petting and trailing his fingers through your hair. He didn't stop as he answered, "and I'm sorry for not trying harder." He kissed your forehead and held you tighter.
"Let's try it again. For real this time. With the titles and commitment and everything."
"Are you asking or telling me to be your boyfriend?"
You smirked. "I'm suggesting."
Returning your smirk, he pulled you atop him so you could straddle him. "You're all mine," he said with a dark eye. "My perfect girl." 
Leaning down, you kissed and nipped his bottom lip. "Are you already hard again, Aemond Targaryen?"
A chuckle rumbled somewhere in his chest as his touch dented into your hips to hold you at just the right angle. With a roll of his hips he pushed himself up inside you again. "Whose cock is this?"
You gasped, eyes darkening with another round of lust. "Mine."
"That's right. Yours. Not anyone else's. It's fucking yours."
You rode him until your tits were covered in fresh hickies and you were filled with another load of him.
Yours. His. The second chance you both needed.
-
Thank you so much for reading! If you enjoyed, please consider a follow, and/or reblog, and/or letting me know as it all makes me vvvery happy! ♥
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oldwritingm · 1 year ago
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Ninjas x reader with a pixiecut?
I went threw a bad slump and didn't brush my hair for months and now it's so matted I have to cut it all off if I can't get it done by Monday 😭 I just really love your writing and i wanna see how the ninjas would react to a reader with long hair chopping it all off into a pixiecut ♡♡♡
I'm so sorry friend; but I know you'll look gorgeous no matter what you do with your hair! And the ninjas think so too ;)
Ninjago - Ninjas' Reaction to You Cutting Your Hair
Kai
I am a "Kai the hair expert" truther
So of course he's always concerned about your hair and its health
When you had long hair, he was always reminding you to take good care of it, but he never really enforced his reminders
So when you turn up one day with cropped hair, he's just like :O
"What happened?? Did you not take good care of it? Was it matted?"
He runs over to you and starts feeling your hair for himself, probably deducing exactly what went wrong in his little head
He just runs his hands through your hair for a while, and he finds himself already getting used to the new cut
He tells you that it doesn't look bad; no, it looks pretty great actually!
But if he suspects that you cut it for hair health reasons, he's going to start cracking down on you taking care of your hair
Don't worry, he has an arsenal of tips and product recommendations
And styling tips, now that it's shorter like his :D
Hair care night becomes a weekly ritual for you guys, and Kai always looks forward to it
Even if/when your hair grows out again, you keep this tradition going because you both love it so much
If not for the fabulous hair that results from these nights, then for the intimate feeling of applying products to each other's hair and brushing it out and stuff :)
Jay
I feel like Jay's the type of guy to be enchanted by big changes
He was absolutely enamored by you when you had long hair, but when you turn up with short hair...
It's the night he first saw you all over again: love at first sight
That's not to say that he loves you any more now, he just falls in love with another side of you (if that makes sense)
He asks why you cut it, more excited than condescending or anything
Whatever you say he just nods (was he even listening??), telling you how amazing you look
Get ready for him to be staring at you nonstop for the next..... forever probably
And he loves each new style you try as it grows out again (if you let it grow out)
He just adores seeing you in different styles; it's like having a whole array of Y/ns to love
He definitely surprises you with new accessories and clothes that he thinks will look nice with your current style
And he's always on the hunt for more.....
He can't pass by one clothing store without looking at the mannequins like "hmmm, Y/n would look good in that!" or "that would really complement Y/n's eyes when they do [x hairstyle]"
Even if he doesn't buy it, he'll take a picture so he can send it to you imagine you in it
Cole
Okay this is going to sound bad but. I don't think Cole would notice right away
He's not so much a "looks" guy
Don't get me wrong, he thinks you're gorgeous, but he's more holistic in his love for you
He loves your personality, your voice, the way you carry yourself... your appearance is just another item on a very long list of reasons he loves you
So when you turn up with short hair one day, he just smiles at you and asks if you did anything interesting today
"Pfff—Cole. Look at me and ask that question again."
"Oh.. OH!! Your hair!!"
He tells you it looks great :)
I don't think he'll say much beyond that; like I said, your appearance is just one reason he loves you
And he always thinks you look fantastic anyway
He always tells you you're beautiful, and he's not going to stop just because you got a haircut
He'll be pretty oblivious if you grow it out again, too, though
One day he'll just be like "hmm hang on... Oh! You've grown out your hair again!! Looks great babe :) <3"
Zane
He'd notice right away
And in the most non-judgemental, completely unbiased, solely curious voice, he'd ask:
"Why did you cut your hair?"
He's not disappointed or excited or anything, just genuinely curious
And he listens quite intently while you explain, nodding along agreeably
He liked it when it was long; he loved to play with it and try intricate styles
Just to keep his hands busy, y'know?
But that doesn't mean he was sad to see it short
If anything he just sees it as a challenge to try new hairstyles!
He LOVES playing with your hair, long or short
Be prepared to try out like 50 different styles within the first month
It's usually late at night when he tries them out, so you don't have to wear them in public if you don't want to
But he thinks you're beautiful in every style, and he will be very proud if you actually sport one of his styles out in the world
Though he likes the way you style it better; he thinks that it's just so... you
And it doesn't need saying that he can't get enough of you <3
Lloyd
It takes him about two seconds to notice, then he just freezes like a deer in headlights
And he's not subtle about it either, if you don't see him staring, you can definitely feel it
He won't say anything—you'll have to break the silence
"So, uh... what do you think?"
He blubbers for a moment, words failing him
He was just so surprised, and he didn't know what to make of it
He doesn't actually even have an opinion at first, he's too shocked
But he comes around to the new look pretty quickly
He decides that you're so gorgeous that you can rock any hairstyle
So he'll just look back on your long-haired days like "huh. they killed it back then, too. dang."
If anything the change has made him more conscious about the fact that you literally always look beautiful, and he starts reminding you more often
Especially when you try out a new way of styling it
Get ready to be called beautiful 100x more often, even as your hair grows out again
Nya
She is ECSTATIC when she sees your hair
Literally squeals:
"Oh my—! YOUR HAIR!!"
She runs over to you and immediately starts messing with it
She loves it!!
She loved you with long hair, too, she's just so surprised that you'd do something so radical and have it look THAT GOOD
She was, like... smacked in the face with beauty
She jokingly asks why you don't do such drastic changes more often
But then when the excitement wears off a bit, she'll ask if there was a reason you cut it
She'll be understanding no matter what you say, but if there was a problem she's going to help you fix it 😤
She's a do-er like that
I also think that she, like Kai, knows a thing or two about hair
Maybe not to the same extent, but she'll know how to help you if you need it :)
And she knows all the little tips and tricks for dealing with short hair, which she's more than glad to share with you
I also think that she'd be able to give you a little trim every now and again if you want to keep it short :)
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Thank you for this request! And thanks for reading, take care doves <33
(divider by saradika)
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slaymitchabernathy · 5 months ago
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A Christmas Miracle
| this drabble contains sexual content ;) |
My dearest Soarynn, I'm writing to you with the grandest news I could ever bestow upon you. All Capitol troops will be returning home for Christmas. We'll be permitted to stay for one week before returning to our base camp. I know you'll want as much time as possible to plan for my arrival, although I am confident in your abilities to arrange for proper accommodations to be made. We will arrive on Sunday and there is to be a dinner on Monday night to commemorate our fallen comrades. I do hope you're well darling, not a single day goes by without me thinking of you. I cherish the photographs and letters you send me with all my heart, and cannot wait to have you back in my arms again. I do not know when our train will be arriving, so please, check the train schedules frequently. You are a constant light in the darkness of the Districts my love and I am anxiously waiting for the day when we can be together without worry or fear. I will see you on Sunday, please take care of yourself, my darling girl. Love, Coriolanus
꧁ ꧂
Soarynn nervously eyes her reflection in the mirror.
Does she look okay? Is her hair too shiny? Will he think she looks pretty?
"You look beautiful Miss Soarynn," her maid gushes, setting the hairbrush down on the counter, "Mr. Snow will be head over heels when he sees you at the train station."
Soarynn blushes, she's always been complimented on her beauty but his opinion is the only one that truly matters. Still, she appreciates the kind words, goodness knows everyone could use a kind word or two in these dark times.
Two years ago, war broke out in the Districts again. Soarynn had thought it was impossible, especially after the last war ended with the Capitol on top and the Districts on the bottom. Her husband, Coriolanus Snow had assured her time and time again that another war was impossible.
For once he was wrong.
The war didn't make its way to the Capitol this time, no, it remained in the Districts, and in an effort to contain it, the Capitol began sending troops to the wilderness of the Districts. Coriolanus was drafted due to his family legacy, his own father had been a general in the first war during the Dark Days and he was more than willing to serve his country.
Soarynn was less willing to watch her husband board a train and possibly never come back. Even though he assured her that he was simply there along with the other troops to impose their presence, she still wasn't convinced. They had been newly married and trying to start a family, why couldn't he stay with her where it was safe?
Coriolanus of course, saw it as a great honor to serve Panem and promised to write to her once a week and if allowed, make phone calls. Soarynn thought it was ridiculous, they lived together and now they were getting excited over five-minute phone calls.
Still, for him to come home for an entire week after being gone for so long was a treat as great as any and she wouldn't be taking it for granted. She had filled their week with lots of winter activities leading up to Christmas. She had the maids clean the penthouse from top to bottom, wanting everything to be perfect for Coriolanus.
She went out and bought him some new clothes, and...some new lingerie for herself as well. They'd certainly be busy at night.
"I certainly can't wait to see him again," she murmurs, reaching for her compact, "one week isn't long enough."
Being left alone in the Capitol had been hard on Soarynn. She used to spend nearly every moment with Coriolanus and now, she was on her own. She had turned to extreme measures, turned to something that galas and tea parties could not fix.
She got a cat.
She knew Coriolanus wouldn't exactly be thrilled but she was desperate for constant companionship. She glances out into her bedroom where her cat, Petunia, is curled up on her husband's pillow, sound asleep. She hopes they'll get along.
Coriolanus was used to a house with just the two of them and Petunia is used to a house with just the two of them.
There might be a war within the Snow household this week.
But they'll barely be home with what she has planned for them. At least that's what she tells herself.
Soarynn inspects herself one last time, making sure there's not a single flaw in her appearance. She wore light makeup today since Coriolanus has always loved her freckles so much. Maria styled her hair perfectly, curling it and then pulling back some pieces to tie with a bow. Soarynn grabs one of her favorite perfume bottles, one that holds a vanilla scent, and liberally sprays it all over herself. She wants to engulf Coriolanus in her scent.
She rises from her vanity stool and makes her way into the closet, the closet that feels so empty without some of his clothes in it. He'll certainly be glad to return with some new ones and Soarynn will be glad to wear his old ones. She often sleeps in his shirts, clinging to the scent of roses and something masculine that she just can't get enough of.
"Red or blue?" She asks Maria, pulling out two dresses, nearly identical to each other. Maria inspects both of them, gently touching the fabric, "I think the red one Miss," she tells Soarynn who nods in agreement, Coriolanus has always liked red.
"Perfect, will you please go fetch my coat and gloves?" She asks, unzipping the dress. "Certainly Miss," Maria gives Soarynn a small curtsy before leaving to go get her things and Soarynn slides off her silk robe.
She only looks at her almost naked self in the mirror for a second, reminding herself how lucky she is to be standing in a closet full of clothes with a household staff at her beck and call. She could be in the streets, starving and cold but she's safe and warm.
The war didn't affect everyone in the Capitol like it did last time. She remembers the first war, the bombs, her parents both dying, how hungry people were. This war has been different.
Only the lower and middle classes have been truly affected by it. Food has become limited but not scarce, there are ration lines but only for those who absolutely need it and Soarynn isn't one of those people. By marrying a Snow, she solidified herself in the upper class, in the elite. Every once in a while there will be a shortage of strawberries or meat but it's always resolved rather quickly.
If anything, the war has been a great inconvenience for her, disrupting her normal plans. She still goes to tea with her friends, still goes on shopping sprees, still gets pedicures every other week. Coriolanus didn't leave her with nothing. He suffered from the first war too, losing both his parents and a good bit of his family fortune. He spent the next ten years building his name back up and now, he's one of the richest men in Panem.
With his investments, business ventures, and connections, he left Soarynn to live a comfortable life of luxury. And the Capitol pays him to be at war.
It's the best-case scenario for a thing like this but she still wishes he didn't have to leave in the first place.
Soarynn shakes those thoughts off and slips into the dress. It's a very flattering look on her with a boat neckline that shows off a bit of her collarbones. It's sleeveless but she'll have her coat and gloves and it fits her figure perfectly, stopping right below her knees to show off her white high heels. With her hair and makeup done perfectly as well, she makes for a picture of sophistication.
Maria returns with her coat and gloves and helps Soarynn into them. Maria has been a godsend to Soarynn who had been quite overwhelmed once Coriolanus left. She's younger than Soarynn but very mature, always helping Soarynn manage in taking care of such a large apartment. She'll occasionally accompany Soarynn to the market if she needs to buy something specific and is always a good source of advice.
Soarynn had hired Maria right before Coriolanus left and she's been a loyal servant ever since.
"We'll be back later tonight," Soarynn tells Maria while searching for the right purse, "he'll want bourbon or whiskey, maybe both. And please make sure that the bath has been properly cleaned as well. He'll have lots of laundry that'll need to be done before he leaves."
Maria nods along to all of her words, "Yes Miss Soarynn, everything will be ready for Mr. Snow's arrival."
Soarynn picks a black handbag, leather and beautifully crafted, a gift from Coriolanus a few years ago when they were engaged, "Perfect. I'll call if anything comes up."
Maria walks her to the front doors and Soarynn buttons her coat, taking in a deep breath, "Enjoy yourself Miss Soarynn," Maria kindly tells her, "you deserve to have this time with your husband."
Soarynn smiles, she's right, she ought to enjoy every minute with Coriolanus rather than stressing about everything being perfect. "Thank you, we'll see you tonight."
Soarynn makes her way into the hallway and waits for the elevator, living in the penthouse is all fun and games until you're stuck waiting for the elevator. Coriolanus will probably remind her of a time when the elevator didn't work during the first war.
He's been doing a lot of that, reminding and remembering about what he went through the first time a war was brought to the Capitol's doorstep. Soarynn wonders if it's some sort of trauma response.
The elevator arrives with a ding and Soarynn steps into it, pressing the button to bring her to the lobby. She ends up being stopped on the eleventh floor where Mrs. Dolittle gets in, dragging her white, yappy dog with her. "Oh Mrs. Snow, don't you look lovely? Say hello to Mrs. Snow little Zeus," Mrs. Dolittle says to her dog Zeus who only barks at Soarynn.
"Thank you," Soarynn says to the older woman, "and hello Zeus, are you off for your afternoon walk?" Mrs. Dolittle hums and places a hand over her heart, "We're off to watch all of the troops come home, some of them are being brought in by trucks."
Soarynn's interest is piqued, "Trucks? Coriolanus is coming by train, I thought..." Her voice dies off and she begins to worry, has the schedule been changed? Is he not coming home today?
"Your husband will be coming by train because he's important dear," Mrs. Dolittle says before Soarynn can begin to spiral, "the rest of the troops are less important, or to put it plainly, less rich."
Oh.
Well, Soarynn can't argue with that.
"I see," is all she says before the doors open up to the lobby. "Enjoy your time with your husband dear," Mrs. Dolittle pats Soarynn's arm, "and if you have time, tell Coriolanus to pay us a visit so he can meet Zeus."
Soarynn knows for a fact that he won't have time or want to meet Zeuz but she smiles all the same and promises to do her best.
Soarynn walks out into the cold December air with a newfound energy inside of her. She's going to see her husband again, and for an entire week!
꧁ ꧂
Soarynn is giddy with excitement as she slides into the backseat of their car, "The train station please," she says, fishing her compact out of her handbag. She might as well check her reflection one more time, just in case something on her face changed from the elevator ride.
For their first wedding anniversary, Coriolanus gifted her a beautiful gold compact with a mirror and power inside. The power is her favorite scent, of course, vanilla. There's a beautiful rose engraved on the outside of the compact and even though they were apart on their anniversary, he still made the effort.
Soarynn applies a little more powder to her neck before glancing outside the car windows and she's astounded at how many people are milling around the train station.
"Looks like the whole Capitol's here," her driver remarks. Soarynn scans the crowd of eager faces, most of these people don't look like her, rich, but they might still be waiting for loved ones to arrive.
Her driver gets her all the way to the entrance of the station so she doesn't have to walk, "I'll wait right here Mrs. Snow," he assures her.
Soarynn nods and begins to make her way inside the train station. The glass pane ceilings let the natural light shine in and it's shaping up to be a beautiful day. The platform is even more crowded with hundreds of people pushing and shoving. Soarynn walks over to the schedule that's been posted on one of the ticket booths and scans one last time for her husband's train.
A Peacekeeper standing guard notices her, "Are you looking for a particular train Miss?" Soarynn shakes her head, offering him a polite smile, "I wouldn't want to trouble you, my husband is coming home today from District Five."
"Who's your husband?"
"Coriolanus Snow."
The Peacekeeper's eyes widen from hearing that name, that so very important name, "Allow me to escort you to the correct platform then Mrs. Snow."
Soarynn looks back over at all the people pushing and shoving, it does look very busy over there but she wouldn't want to impose. "I don't want to trouble you," she says sweetly, "I'm sure I can manage."
The Peacekeeper must not have a lot of faith in her, "I insist ma'am, please allow me to safely escort you." Soarynn jumps when she hears some shouting and looks back over to see that a fight has broken out on the platform, "Well if you insist," she quickly agrees.
The young man to his credit, gets Soarynn to the correct platform in one, safe piece, clearing a path for them the second people see his uniform. Platform Five is much quieter than the platform she just saw and Soarynn sighs, "This is much emptier," she notes.
The Peacekeeper chuckles, "Those other people don't know how to act, that's why they're all the way over there and you're all the way over here."
Before Soarynn can say anything else, the sharp whistle of an incoming train gains her attention. She looks around at the others waiting, mostly women like her, eagerly awaiting the arrival of their husbands. The train slowly pulls into the station, too slow in her opinion but she's excited all the same.
"How long has it been since you've seen him?"
"Two years," she answers, trying to look into the train windows, "two very long years."
It feels like a lifetime but she won't let that stop her from continuing to love him from afar. The train doors finally hiss open and several women rush forward in search of their loved ones. Soarynn being more shy and timid, stays back, looking for a head of blonde hair. It seems that all the men are dressed in their uniforms, donning their hats and coats, making it harder for Soarynn to see Coriolanus.
She watches several tearful reunions and can't help but wish for her own. More men spill out, some are greeted, some are not. Soarynn has heard the whispers about divorces left and right due to men being deployed. She can't imagine separating from Coriolanus because he's serving his country.
One man with tan skin steps off the train and he's looking directly at Soarynn, making her feel very self-conscious. He looks into the train and says something, pointing at her.
Soarynn stands up straight, her heart is pounding and there he is.
Coriolanus Snow is stepping off the train.
Soarynn is a woman who prides herself on following the unspoken rules of etiquette. No screaming, no shouting, no running in public or arguing.
She throws all those rules out the window the second he lays eyes on her. She breaks into a huge smile and runs towards him, not caring how improper it is.
Coriolanus doesn't seem to care either as he grins, opening his arms up. Soarynn shrieks and throws her arms around his neck, burying her face in his chest, content to never let go of him again. Coriolanus wraps his strong arms around her and she can smell the roses, smell how manly he is, and how much she's missed him. Coriolanus groans and squeezes her tight, "There's my girl."
Soarynn might just cry.
She pulls away just enough to see his face, his handsome face. He looks the same as he left, prominent nose, beautiful blue eyes, full lips with a smile that still drives her crazy.
"I missed you," is the first thing she says.
He kisses her a second later, not wasting any time showing her how much he missed her as well. Soarynn sighs into the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck even tighter to deepen the kiss. It feels so good, so good to have his lips on her again. She didn't realize how much she took this feeling for granted until he left.
Two years without a kiss good morning, goodbye or goodnight.
They're going to have to pry him away from her cold, dead hands when this week is up.
"Soarynn," he says against her lips, "I might have to take you with me when I go back because I can't go without this again." Soarynn laughs into the kiss, it looks like she's not the only one who's been lonely. When they finally break away from the kiss, his eyes meet hers and they hold so much love, so much devotion, the need and want to keep her safe no matter what.
"Look at you," he says softly, resting a gloved hand on her cheek, "still so beautiful and radiant. You look gorgeous darling, absolutely gorgeous, I pity the men who didn't get to come home to you today."
Soarynn giggles and rests her head on his chest, wanting to be as close to him as possible. She lets go of his neck and wraps her arms around his torso, he feels so strong under all these layers, "I missed you so much Coryo," she tells him, "thought about you every single day you were gone."
She feels him place a kiss on the top of her head, another thing she's missed, how affectionate he is with her. "You have me for an entire week," he tells her, his voice laced with authority and yet completely gentle and patient with her. Soarynn hums, closing her eyes so she can remember this moment for the rest of her life.
She's grateful that he doesn't pull away, force her to move because she really doesn't want to. She wishes she could freeze time so they could stay like this forever.
"You weren't lying Snow," someone says, causing Soarynn to lift her head. It's the same man who was looking at her when he stepped off the train, "I told you she's beautiful," Coriolanus replies, kissing her temple. Soarynn feels herself blushing, she hadn't even thought about Coriolanus bragging to his comrades about her but it sounded exactly like something he'd do.
Coriolanus is a proud man, proud of his family, proud of his success, and proud to have secured a fitting match such as Soarynn. He's never shied away from boasting about her beauty, her charm, and femininity. Of course, he'd talk about her to his comrades, show off her pictures proudly.
"I'll see you tomorrow night," the man waves before walking down to the exit. Soarynn looks up at her husband, "Who was that?"
While Soarynn's letters to Coriolanus have included all the latest gossip and news, his have been more about how much he misses her and hopes for her safety at all times. Rarely has he mentioned anyone he's worked with.
"Lance Parkes," Coriolanus tells her, "we're in the same barrack."
Soarynn hums, she'll have to ask him about all his friends although she'll meet most of them tomorrow night. "How was the train ride?"
Coriolanus rubs her side, "It was fine, quite long but we were in first class so it was much more bearable."
Soarynn slips a hand under his coat, feeling the rest of his uniform, "You feel so strong, and you look so very smart in the uniform," she tells him, earning her a pleased grin. "Strong hmm?" He teases, making her giggle, "I should've known you'd ogle me the first chance you got."
Soarynn gasps, playfully shoving his chest, "Oh, please, you're the one who likes to ogle." He really is, Soarynn is more likely to silently admire her husband whereas he isn't afraid to make her put on a show for him.
Whenever they go shopping he has her come out and show him every outfit, praising her sense of fashion. And whenever she comes home with some new lingerie, well...she gives him a more private show.
"Well now that you've mentioned it, let me get a proper look at you," he says, loosening his grip on her, "give me a spin darling." Soarynn glances around the now barren platform, apparently, their reunion was longer than everyone else's so she doesn't feel too silly spinning around. Coriolanus lets out a low whistle and nods, looking her up and down, "You've got the type of beauty men go to war for," he tells her matter-of-factly.
Soarynn merely shakes her head, she wouldn't want to be the cause for any man to go to war, let alone her husband. "Where's your trunk?' She asks, changing the subject to something not about her. Coriolanus turns and points at the one trunk that's left, "I've come bearing gifts," he tells her, causing Soarynn's lips to curl up into a smile, "You don't say."
Coriolanus hums, reaching a hand out for her and she gladly takes it, "I've thought about you every single day," he continues, "thought about what you were doing, if you were feeling alright, if you needed anything." Soarynn's heart might just shatter into a million pieces, Coriolanus has been on her mind constantly but she always wondered if she was on his.
She squeezes his hand, smiling up at him, "Well we have a whole week together, so let's make the most of it."
꧁ ꧂
Soarynn has forgotten how attractive Coriolanus is.
For once, the roles are reversed and he is doing the shopping while she lounges on a sofa and sips champagne. He stands on a small pedestal, looking at his reflection in the store's mirrors that show him every angle.
He had written once or twice about outgrowing some of his clothing which confused Soarynn since he was too old to grow taller. But now, she gets it.
He's bigger. Stronger. More muscular.
His shirts don't fit the way they used to.
He looks very handsome in what the salesman selected for him, black pants, perfectly tailored, and a simple white button-up tucked into the pants. They're shopping for a new suit for him to wear to the dinner tomorrow night but finding a shirt to properly fit him has posed a challenge.
The salesman presses his lips into a thin line when he sees the buttons threatening to pop off, "Still too tight?"
Coriolanus offers him a polite smile, "Just a bit."
The salesman waves his hand, "An extra-large then, I'll have someone bring you the proper size."
Soarynn resists the urge to jump off the sofa and run into the changing room with her husband, it would be quite scandalous, and also bad manners.
"Where has he been all this time?" The salesman asks, raising an eyebrow, "I see hundreds of men every day in here but he must've been hiding under a rock." Soarynn chuckles, she doesn't mind when women or men flirt with her husband or talk about him in front of her, at the end of the day, she gets to go home with him.
"He's been deployed," she answers, setting her glass down on the small table, "he's back for a week and he's in desperate need of clothing that actually fits him."
"Well, I can see that, he's doubled in size from the looks of it, let me go look for a few more shirts."
Soarynn looks around the store while she waits, watching people come and go, everyone is doing last-minute shopping but she did hers weeks ago. Then she got that letter from Coriolanus and her entire world turned upside down. She had been so excited, she cried tears of joy, her husband was coming back to her.
For a week but still.
A few minutes later, Coriolanus walks out with a shirt that fits him properly and that cocky grin she's grown to love over the years, "What do you think darling?" He asks, holding out his arms while giving her a slow spin, "Do we have our base layer down?"
Soarynn does her best to remain appropriate when looking him up and down but it's very hard, especially with his big hands, and his big arms, and thighs and...she's getting distracted.
"I think we do," she answers with an encouraging smile. Coriolanus nods, "Perfect, let's move on to suit jackets then."
꧁ ꧂
Two hours later, Soarynn is strolling down the street with her husband and two large shopping bags.
"He was a good salesman," Coriolanus says, pulling her a little closer, "although I do believe he was flirting with me." Soarynn laughs, Coriolanus is as charming as they come but he's always had a hard time deciphering when the same gender flirts with him. Women he can pick up on in seconds, but men confuse him greatly.
Soarynn simply sees it as a compliment if both genders find you equally attractive.
"He was definitely flirting with you," she tells him, looking into a few shop windows, "you've got a new look and people are bound to notice."
Soarynn nearly trips when she sees the perfect little black dress in a boutique window. It's strapless and somewhat short but she knows that with the right heels, she can pull it off. One look at Coriolanus and she can tell that he's already picturing pulling it off of her.
"Why don't we go in here?" He suggests, his voice slightly hoarse. Soarynn wraps her hand around his arm and pulls them towards the door, "If you insist."
They're immediately greeted by an eager-looking saleswoman who has bright red hair and very long eyelashes, "Welcome, welcome! What brings you two in today?"
Coriolanus nods towards the mannequin wearing the black dress, "The black dress in the window would look stunning on my wife."
Soarynn doesn't even have time to blush because this saleswoman is grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the fitting rooms, "Of course, it would! You just go right back here dear and I'll bring you a few sizes."
Soarynn finds herself mindlessly nodding to whatever this woman says and walks into the first fitting room she sees. She doesn't even wait an entire minute before there's a knock on the door. She opens it to find the saleswoman holding three black dresses, "I brought a few sizes, although this one will probably fit you best."
Soarynn takes the hanger into her hands and nods, "Thank you very much." Part of her worries that this woman might try to come in and help her so she quickly shuts the door. Soarynn takes a deep breath before taking off her own clothes and neatly hanging them on the hooks in the fitting room. She steps into the dress and pulls it over her hips.
It would look great if she could get the zipper up.
"How's it going in there?"
Soarynn grits her teeth while fighting to pull the zipper all the way up, "Fine!" She calls back, using one hand to balance herself against the wall, "If you need any help just let me know!"
Soarynn almost falls over, "That won't be necessary!"
Three minutes later, she's sweaty and has the damn dress on.
But it does look very good on her.
Soarynn opens the door and peeks her head out, the coast is clear. She can hear the saleswoman yammering away outside, talking her husband's ear off. "...and that's when I knew gluten wasn't good for me and...oh! Oh, you look fabulous dear!"
Soarynn brushes her hair behind her ears, she isn't very fond of being the center of attention but neither Coriolanus nor the saleswomen can keep their eyes off of her as she steps in front of the mirror.
She can see Coriolanus watching her, a longing, lustful look in his eyes and she feels a boost of confidence, "You have the legs for that dress," the saleswoman tells her, "doesn't she Mr. Snow?"
Coriolanus grunts, fidgeting in his seat, "She certainly does."
Soarynn does a quick twirl and she smiles, "I'll take it." The saleswoman claps, delighted to do some business on such a busy day, "Wonderful! As soon as you take it off, I'll ring it up for you!"
Soarynn turns to go back to the fitting rooms but Coriolanus is quickly rising from his seat, "Let me help you with the zipper darling, she mentioned it might be tricky." Soarynn knows what he really wants and he could care less about the zipper, "Alright," she says sweetly.
They both walk back to her fitting room and he's on top of her the second she closes the door. Soarynn gasps when he pins her against the wall, his lips latch onto her neck, "Coryo," she gasps, "we're in a boutique!" Coriolanus scoffs and squeezes her waist, "I don't give a fuck darling, now turn around and bend over like the good girl you always are for me."
Soarynn would be lying if she said those words didn't do something to her. Something to her body that's gone two years without him. His touch, his lips, his hands, his cock.
She turns around.
Coriolanus bends her over and she braces her hands against the wall, "Coryo we have to be fast," she urgently whispers, not wanting to get caught. Mostly because she really wants this dress. Coriolanus chuckles and kisses right under her ear, "I'm just having a little fun darling."
He expertly unzips the dress and slides it off her body, letting it pool around her ankles and he palms her ass, groaning, "Fuck I missed you," he says, "missed this perfect little ass, your pretty little moans, how soft you are. You don't realize how bad it is out there for us darling, no women, surrounded by District scum, only our hands for a quick release."
Soarynn whimpers when he pulls her panties to the side, his fingers graze her clit and she bucks into his touch. She hasn't been faring but better in the sexual pleasure department but she has her ways, the shower head, her fingers, she's made it work.
But nothing is better than the real thing.
A knock on the door startles her, "Is everything alright in there dear?"
Coriolanus sinks two fingers into her cunt and Soarynn can feel her eyes rolling back. It's such a delicious burn after not having sex for so long and she might just cum right now, "Fine," she stammers, "it's, it's fine, I'm fine."
"Could you just toss the dress over the door then?"
Coriolanus reaches for the dress and Soarynn lifts her feet so he can grab it from the floor. He starts pumping his fingers in and out of her cunt and her knees buckle. Coriolanus catches her, holding her against the wall, "Be quiet for me hmm?" He says in her ear, his voice husky. Soarynn nods, biting her lip.
Coriolanus tosses the dress over the door and starts pumping faster and faster. Soarynn's toes are curling, her breaths are ragged. She's going to cum, very, very soon if he doesn't stop what he's doing. "Please," she mumbles, "please, please Coryo."
He peppers the back of her shoulder with kisses, so gentle in comparison to his fingers slamming in and out of her, "Still so good for me huh? Still remember your manners." Soarynn whines when his thumb presses against her clit, she cannot have an orgasm in a boutique fitting room.
Right?
Her walls start fluttering, her body starts shaking and the wire inside of her is about to snap, "Give it to me," he orders, "be my good girl and cum all over my fingers like the little slut you are for me Soarynn."
That's all it takes for her to fall apart. She lets out a moan but he quickly slaps his other hand over her mouth, muffling any noise she makes. Soarynn twitches as her orgasm rides out, it's so intense, so good after so long. She can feel the stickiness between her legs, she doesn't know how she's going to walk out of her but Coriolanus has already thought this through apparently.
He brandishes a handkerchief from his coat pocket a second later and makes quick work of cleaning her up to the best of his abilities. Her legs are still shaking, how she'll be able to look that saleswoman in the eye is beyond her. "You didn't, didn't get to..." Her voice dies off when she sees Coriolanus shaking his head, a sweet smile on his lips, "If I'm going to fuck you, then I'm going to do it properly," he tells her, "and in the comfort of my own home."
Soarynn lets him place a kiss on her forehead before he leaves to go pay for the dress. She puts her own clothes back on quickly so she doesn't raise any suspicion and joins Coriolanus a few minutes later at the counter near the front of the store.
Apparently, he's revealed that he's visiting for the week because the saleswoman has her hand over her heart, "...just the noblest thing a man could do for his country," she says, her eyes drifting over to Soarynn, "and leaving your wife behind? You're a national hero Mr. Snow."
Soarynn keeps herself from rolling her eyes, Coriolanus certainly has done a great service to his country, but being called a national hero is a bit of a stretch. Coriolanus, of course, loves it and grins, taking the pink bag off the counter, "You flatter me truly, thank you so much for your help today." Soarynn nods along to his words and wraps her hand around his arm, "Yes, thank you so much for your assistance."
"Of course! Stop by anytime."
They bid the saleswoman goodbye and step back out into the cold, Soarynn immediately curls into Coriolanus who doesn't despise the cold the way she does. Maybe it's because of his last name, but the cold has little to no effect on Coriolanus whereas Soarynn hates it with all her might.
"You should wear that dress to dinner tomorrow night," he says, leading them across the street. Soarynn gives him a skeptical look, "To a dinner honoring dead soldiers? I don't think so. Besides, I already have a dress picked out for tomorrow night." And she does, it's navy blue and makes her eyes pop. He'll love it because he loves everything she wears.
Coriolanus simply hums and holds her tighter, "Whatever you want darling."
Soarynn cherishes those words for she won't be hearing them in a few days. She ought to cherish every moment with Coriolanus while he's here, every single second is precious.
꧁ ꧂
Later that night, Soarynn finds herself in a most domestic position, curled up in her husband's arms, naked under their sheets. She used to dream about moments like this, hoping she'd wake up to find him next to her, only to wake up to an empty bed.
His breathing is slow and steady, instantly calming her after a long night of passionate sex. Coriolanus could barely keep his hands to himself for the rest of the day after their little stunt in the dressing room. They still had to go to several stores and then to dinner before they could come home.
Coriolanus was more than pleased to be warmly welcomed by his household staff and a clean apartment. He wasn't however, too pleased when he discovered Petunia lounging on his side of the bed, surprised to see a man in the room she thought of as her own.
There was a clear rivalry the moment they laid eyes on each other, especially when she saw how handsy he was being with Soarynn. She had hissed and swatted at him while Soarynn tried to calm her down and fix the rift between her beloved husband and cat.
She ended up removing Petunia from their bedroom so they could properly reunite and after several rounds of passionate sex, Soarynn was more than pleased with how the day turned out.
Coriolanus presses a hand on her stomach, splaying out his long fingers, "I was thinking," he mumbles in her ear, voice laced with sleep, "we should have a baby."
That gets her wide awake. Soarynn pushes her hips against his, causing him to groan since he has yet to pull out, "A baby?" She whispers, thinking about the possibility of finally starting a family with Coriolanus. They barely had any time after they got married, war broke out and he was shipped out.
It's not like they didn't want a family, the penthouse is huge with so many empty bedrooms. Her mind drifts down the hall to the nearest bedroom, vacant and begging to have a crib inside of it. He kisses right under her ear and hums, resting his chin on her shoulder, "Mhm, if it weren't for the war then I'm sure we'd have at least one child by now. And I've heard rumors Soarynn, they're starting to pull troops out little by little. I'll be home before you know it, and for good next time."
Soarynn's heart is beating so fast, the war is ending?
Part of her doesn't want to believe him, but Coriolanus isn't one to lie, he hates lying and anyone who does it. "Okay," she says, finding nothing wrong with his proposition. He's right, if Coriolanus wasn't deployed then they'd certainly already have a child right now. These past two years have set them back and she's not getting any younger.
He wraps his arms around her tighter and groans, "Good, because I'm convinced that I already fucked a baby into you."
They both laugh, knowing it doesn't exactly work that way but she's past caring about logistics right now.
Her husband is home and that's all that matters.
꧁ ꧂
Much to Soarynn's dismay, the next few days flew by in the blink of an eye.
She and Coriolanus spent every waking minute with each other, from the moment they woke up to the moment they went to bed, they were together. Their friends had teased them about it at dinner one night, how inseparable the pair was but Soarynn found nothing wrong with it.
She and Coriolanus belonged with each other. How could they not see it?
Even now as he opens a present from under the Christmas tree, it's so evident to Soarynn that he's the one for her. His strong masculine aura mixes perfectly with her gentle feminine one. While he's effortlessly charming, she's endlessly graceful, making them the perfect pair once again.
Coriolanus grins when he pulls out several pairs of white socks, the ones he's always been so fond of since Soarynn met him. He's always been one to value routine and tradition, never straying from what he trusts which includes socks. "You remembered my letter," he says with a laugh, setting them down on the floor next to him.
Soarynn nods, in one of his more recent letters, Coriolanus had mentioned how worn out his socks were becoming. Soarynn was no stranger to sending him letters but packages were a little bit trickier. They required an outrageous amount of postage to start, and there was never a guarantee that it would actually be delivered. She's sent a few over the past two years and according to Coriolanus, he's one of the only men who receives both packages and letters from home.
Soarynn truly can't imagine not writing letters to a loved one who's away at war. She writes him a letter nearly every day.
"I did," she agrees, "once I knew you were coming home, I ran out to buy you some new ones."
They both sit in comfortable silence while snow quietly falls outside of the living room windows. Soarynn watches the tiny snowflakes fall from the sky, doing her best to think about anything but what tomorrow will bring.
The train that will take him away from her again.
She can't help but begin to fear the worst, Coriolanus getting caught in the crossfire, a bomb going off and taking his limbs off, a trap being set just for him.
Which is highly unlikely from what he's told her. He's barely seen any real action, just a lot of angry people who he has to keep under control with a gun. When Soarynn asked if he ever had to use it on anyone, he'd gone quiet. This war still affected him despite him acting like it didn't. And Soarynn doesn't want him to go back to it.
She can feel the tears forming in her eyes, they've had such a lovely week filled with dinners, parties, and quality time together.
She doesn't want it to end.
"Darling," he says gently, "come here."
Coriolanus opens his arms out to her and Soarynn sniffles as she crawls over crinkled wrapping paper until she's crawling into his lap, burying her face in his neck. He immediately slips his hands under her nightgown and wraps his arms around her waist, holding her tight, "We'll be alright," he tells her softly, "I'll be back before you know it, and then we'll start our own little family. How does that sound?"
It sounds wonderful, like a dream come true to Soarynn who's been so lonely the past two years.
"Nice," is all she mumbles, not able to find it inside of her to act chipper when she's not. Coriolanus rubs his hand up and down her back, calming her with the smallest of touches, "I hope you know how much I miss you," he tells her, "how every night I stare up at the ceiling and wish you were there with me. You're all I have Soarynn, you've been the greatest gift."
Tears freely flow down her cheeks after hearing those endearing words. She doesn't know if this conversation is making his departure easier or worse. "I love you," she whispers, "with all my heart I love you."
She doesn't know how long they stay like that, curled up on the floor but it doesn't matter.
Nothing matters when she's with him.
꧁ ꧂
The morning of her husband's departure comes with heavy burdens for both of them.
Coriolanus, who must face what lies in the Districts once again, alone and without the comforts of home.
Soarynn, who must return to normal life with a smile on her face, and without the comforts of him.
They both fake it incredibly well to their credit, smiling at those they pass by as they walk towards his train. Just a week ago Soarynn was getting ready to come to the station, putting so much effort into her appearance. She barely even brushed her hair this morning since she planned on running right back home once he left to cry in bed.
Coriolanus hands off his trunk to a train attendant and Soarynn watches the man carry it onto the train, already stealing parts of Coriolanus away from her. She looks around the platform and is somewhat comforted by the sight of many other couples sharing tearful goodbyes.
At least they can all be miserable together is what she's concluded.
"Keep writing to me hmm?" He asks, nosing her cheek in an effort to make her laugh. Soarynn nods but can't find it in herself to laugh like she usually does when he's being so sweet, "You'll let me know if you hear anything else about deployment right?" She inquires for the tenth time today. She knows it must be getting annoying but she simply must know that he'll keep her updated with these things.
Coriolanus nods and rests his forehead against her own, "Yes darling, the second I know for sure I'm coming home, I'll let you know."
She rests her hands on his arms, feeling him one last time, "I'm going to miss you," she mumbles, her voice carries more of a tremor than she'd like but it's hard to act brave right now. Coriolanus leans down and kisses her, so sweetly and gently. Soarynn returns the kiss with her own gentleness for this will be the last kiss she's given for a long time.
"Be careful out there," she whispers, not pulling away from the kiss, "I can't go on without you Coryo."
He wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her into his safe hold, "I will," he promises, pecking her lips once more, "and you take care of yourself hmm? I want you to enjoy yourself while I'm gone darling, spend time with friends, spend my money, all those nice things hmm?" A small smile forms on her lips and Coriolanus chuckles, "There's my girl, always smiling for me."
She knows this is hard on him too, to leave her, to willingly leave her behind goes against everything Coriolanus believes in.
But they'll be together again soon, she's sure of it.
The sharp train whistle pulls the couple apart, announcing that the train will be departing soon.
"Make sure to call me," Soarynn reminds him, clinging onto him for dear life, "and to write to me. And let me know if you need me to send you anythi-"
She never finishes her sentence due to his lips crashing onto her again, effectively shutting her up. Soarynn responds the way she always does, loyally and lovingly, letting him take the lead. Coriolanus brings his hand to gently cup her face while they share one last kiss.
Another sharp whistle from the train jolts both of them and they finally break apart from their last kiss.
"I love you," he tells her, looking down at her with those devoted blue eyes of his. So piercing yet soft and gentle when he's with her and only her.
"I love you too," she says, "and I'm so proud of you."
Coriolanus smiles, hugging her one more time and kissing her temple before he lets her go. Soarynn remains frozen on the platform while her husband strides towards the train, stepping through the door right before the train starts pulling away.
Soarynn waves goodbye with the other wives, with only eyes for her husband who watches her from the door. It's only when he's out of sight that she allows herself to properly cry.
She ignores the sympathetic looks she's given from the other women and trudges back to the car, alone this time.
She cries the whole way home and in the elevator. Maria seems greatly concerned but Soarynn waves her off, she'll be fine in a few days, she remembers being like this the first time he left. Part of her wishes she didn't have to go through this again, that he never came home but she's so glad she got to see Coriolanus again.
Petunia is still lying in bed where they left her this morning, pleased to have her spot back. Soarynn gives her a gentle scratch behind the ears, "Just you and me again," she says sadly. She ought to wash the sheets considering they had sex every night but she refrains from doing so, she'll wash them when his scent is no longer detectable.
Soarynn lies in bed for hours feeling sorry for herself and missing her husband, only venturing into their bathroom when she needs to use it. She walks past the countertops and then her vanity when she notices a small white box sitting on her vanity counter, wrapped in a red bow.
Soarynn reluctantly picks it up and unties the ribbon, letting it all to the floor where Petunia immediately takes it to play with. But Soarynn pays her cat no mind as she opens up the box, softly gasping when she sees what Coriolanus has left for her.
A pregnancy test.
And a note.
Never too soon to find out. Love, Coriolanus
Soarynn chuckles, they both know it's highly unlikely for her to already be pregnant but she appreciates the gesture. She holds the testing device in her fingers, "Might as well try," she mumbles to herself, walking to the small room where their toilet is.
It only takes a few minutes but Soarynn finds herself doing anything but looking at the results. She folds some laundry, fluffs out their bedsheets. Finally, she walks back into the bathroom and turns over the test.
She gasps when she sees two red lines.
She's pregnant.
Newly pregnant, barely pregnant, but pregnant.
She can't believe it. Coriolanus isn't even halfway through his trip back to Five and yet he's left her with a most precious gift. Soarynn rests her hand on her stomach, imagining what it'll look like in a few months.
She's pregnant!
She's going to have a baby. She's going to be a mother, he's going to be a father.
Oh, Coriolanus.
She'll have to write to him at once to deliver the news. She's only a few days along but still.
It's a Christmas miracle.
꧁ ꧂
To my dearest Coriolanus, I'm writing this hours after your departure. I simply cannot wait a moment longer to tell you the wonderful news that I'm pregnant! I know we spoke of it when you first came home but after opening the gift you left me, I'm proud to say that you're going to be a father. I will keep things quiet until I can visit the doctor but I just had to tell you. I miss you with all my heart my love, I pray for your safety and your quick return. Know that not a day goes by where I do not think of you my heart for you are all that I am. I love & miss you already. Love, Soarynn
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sil-writes-fiction-too · 9 months ago
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Lucifer Drabble
Lucifer x GN!Reader
Genre: fluff, suggestive
CW: slight suggestive themes at the end if you squint-
A/N: helloooo I am not dead, surprise! After June of Doom I wanted to take a little break, enjoy the Summer holidays and focus a little more on my studies... then I ended up in the ER and my focus kinda went out the window! :D Now, my exams aren't over, and as a matter of fact I have one next Monday, but!! I kinda still wanted to keep the writing part of my brain noodle exercised, and if I don't distract myself from all the shit I just went through I will go crazy, so here I come with a very short, very self-indulgent drabble! Eeeenjoy!
“Come to my room right now. Don't make me wait.”
That's all he wrote to you, and you didn't really question it. You just got up and walked down the hallway to his room. You know Lucifer, and you know what he wants. Right from the get-go this morning you knew it was going to be a long and stressful day for him. It is not unlikely for Lucifer to request your company at the end of days such as this and honestly? You welcome it.
You were unable to spend any time with him lately, and it was really starting to get to you, so going to see him sounds like a great idea right now.
You knock at his door with no hesitation, and, like other times before, it opens on its own, letting classical music pour out of the room. Lucifer is sitting on the sofa with a tea tray on the coffee table, his coat abandoned on a chair and his shirt slightly unbuttoned. Ah, so it is the kind of day that requires the full treatment, huh?
You walk over to him and plop down in the spot next to him, even though you know that that's not nearly close enough for him and that soon you'll probably find yourself in his lap.
“Long day?” You offer with a smile, and Lucifer wraps his arm around you and, of course, pulls you closer with a tired sigh
“You have no idea.”
You settle into his side with a sympathetic smile and place your head against his shoulder.
“Anything I can do?”
He squeezes you a little closer still, as if he was trying to merge your souls together. “Let's just stay like this for a while.” You nod and say nothing else, nuzzling your cheek against him as you slowly relax.
You stay like that,basking in each other's presence for a little, but after a while you decide to start talking to tell him about you week, careful not to drown out the sound of the music coming from his record player. He doesn't say much, merely humming here and there while he runs his gloved fingers through your hair.
You don't know when, but at some point you switch positions, and find Lucifer's head in your lap as you run your fingers through his hair. Despite his silence, you know he appreciates the tender gesture. At some point, though, you realize that the music has stopped, and you throw a glance towards the record player. It is completely turned off, so you come to the conclusion that Lucifer must've stopped it with magic.
“Ah, I'm sorry. I've been prattling on for too long, haven't I? You wanted to enjoy your music in peace.” You say apologetically, smiling down at him.
“Don't be ridiculous.” He grabs your wrist and gently brings your hand to his lips. “I merely decided to turn off the record player so that I could listen to you better. Your voice is my favorite sound, I thought you would know that by now.” He gives you a self-satisfied smirk when he sees your cheeks turn red at his simple words. You are just so adorable sometimes. What is he supposed to do with you?
“As a matter of fact-” he sits up and leans over you, caging you against the sofa with his arms “-I think I want to hear more from you...” He drawls in a low purr before leaning down to lavish your neck with kisses and little bites.
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2024-grimoire-challenge · 7 months ago
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October week 3: science and magic
We touched briefly on this before. But this week we’re going to dive further in and explore how we can use science, pseudo science and even science theory and science fiction to help us explain magic. If we think of it in terms of natural laws and physics, we can, in some cases, make sense of the way magic works and at the very least theorize and hypothesize how our craft works within the realm of understood science. While these topics are vast, deep oceans of knowledge that require a great deal of understanding, we’re going to simply scratch the surface with the prompts, which I hope leads to further research, study and investigation on your parts! Let’s dive in!
Monday -
Research- thermodynamics - you don’t have to dive super deep into it, but look up thermodynamics. What it is. How it works. It’s laws. Its restrictions. With a little outside the box thinking how can apply thermodynamics to our practices and our craft?
Research - string theory - what is string theory? How does it work? Again you don’t have to deep dive into it (though all of these topics are rather fun to study and learn more about!) what are its laws and restrictions? Who came up with string theory? And again how can we play this to our craft and practices?
Tuesday
Research - quantum physics - this one is much more broad, so take your time and learn as much as you can! What is it? How does it work? What are its laws and restrictions? Who came up with it? And how can we apply it to our craft?
Research/ new page - herbal study- pick another herb from your list and learn as much as you can about it! Myths and legends, how it grows, its chemical makeup, where it originated, associations, practical and magical uses! Everything!
Wednesday
Research- chemical compounds in plants - think about ��potions” from a scientific standpoint. What is a medicine but a potion (albeit strictly from a science standpoint). Look at a spell jar or a spell of any kind and its herbal components. How do those plants, how would those plants, actually interact with each other chemically?
Research - atoms, frequencies and and more - another broad topic. Think about how atoms work. How does this knowledge fit into your craft and practice? Same with frequencies, everything from aound to physical vibrations. How does this topic fit into your craft?
Research/ new page - gem study - pick another gemstone from your list and learn all you can about it! Myths and legends, associations, practical and magical uses! Everything!
Thursday
Research - basic scientific principles - what are some basic scientific principles you remember learning about or just know about? Make a list and study them. How can you apply them to your craft and practice?
Research - how to use the scientific method in witchcraft - what is the scientific method? What use can it serve in your craft? In spell work and rituals and just in general?
Practical - divination/ journal - perform a divining for yourself or have someone perform it for you. Ask whatever question you want and journal about the answers you receive.
Friday - catch up, study day
Use today to rest or catch up on any topic from this year so far. The topics this week were pretty broad and heavy topics, which I myself am still studying and trying to understand. Rest if you need to. Hydrate. Take your meds. And take care of yourself!
Thanks for another week and your continued support of this project!
-Mod Hazel
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snowbellewells · 5 months ago
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CS Secret Santa 2024 Gift Fic: "Christmas Getaway With You" for @stevebcks
I am sorry that it is so late on Christmas night for your present @stevebcks! But yes, I have been your Santa this year. I have really enjoyed chatting with you and getting to know someone I hadn't ever met or gotten to talk with yet in this fandom. I hope you will still enjoy this, even though it is later than I had hoped. I also hope that this Christmas has been a great one for you and that you've truly enjoyed the warmth and joy of the holiday.
You gave me so many great ideas in your answers to my asks, and I tried to work in several of them - giving Emma and Killian more time together in their happily married everyday life, giving a glimpse of them raising their daughter, getting to see them celebrate the holiday, and to visit New York again together. I even attempted to sneak Merlin into the story (at least a playful nod to him!)
Without further hesitating, here's your story!!
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“Christmas Getaway With You”
By: @snowbellewells
“Emma, for the last time, Love, you’ve checked everything twice! We’re all ready to set sail.” Killian’s gentle tone of affectionate exasperation finally served to snap Emma from ducking back into the kitchen to be absolutely certain that the door into the mudroom and their backyard beyond was secure and that the coffeemaker was indeed unplugged from the wall for what was at least the third time. Shaking her head at her own anxious dithering, she leaned into his side when he wrapped his arm around her, bringing her to a standstill in the entryway. Killian’s steadying presence soothed her frazzled nerves, just as he always did - no matter what the problem, and she thrilled at the sensation of the smooth curve of his hook rubbing back and forth lightly over her hip, the simple gesture somehow lulling in its familiarity.
“You’re right, Babe,” Emma breathed out as she looked up at him with a grateful smile. “I’m acting crazy and I’m not even sure why.”
“Nonsense, I wouldn’t necessarily call you crazy. Any pirate worth his - or her - “ here he waggled an eyebrow and gave his wife a knowing wink, “salt, knows well enough to properly safeguard the treasure.”
Emma snickered at that and pulled away, but this time she finally moved toward the door, as had been her original intention. Reaching to the coat rack whether her favorite leather jacket and beanie hung waiting, Emma grinned at her own worried expense before speaking to him over her shoulder, “Still, enough’s enough. We’re only going to be gone a few short days. Henry comes in on Friday, plus he’ll have Hope here then, and probably Violet too once she gets back to town, and we’ll be back on Monday.”
Killian’s eyebrows both rose up to disappear under the dark fringe of hair hanging over his forehead as he feigned shocked surprise. “You’re allowing the lad and his lady love to cohabitate under your roof when we aren’t here to chaperone?”
Her husband’s playful pretense of being scandalized had Emma putting her hands on her hips in equally mock consternation. “Oh, don’t pretend your delicate sensibilities are overcome. If you think I don’t know you gave him some tips on successful wooing of said lady love along the way, you’d better think again, buddy.”
Killian chuckled in return at that, dipping his head in a slight bob of agreement to show that he knew she had him there. Taking his own jacket from the peg next to his Swan’s, Killian swung his own outerwear over his shoulders and then waited at the door for Emma as she patted her pockets and made certain she had her keys, phone, badge, and cards before following her out onto the porch and locking the door behind them.
“There,” Emma said, pleased to feel the weight of everyday concerns falling from her shoulders with the closed door. Taking Killian’s offered hand, she added, “Let the holiday adventure begin.”
~~~~**
The next afternoon found them snuggled in a corner booth at the charming Serendipity’s in the Upper East Side of New York City itself. Not only was the frozen hot chocolate heaped with whipped cream and toppings decadent enough to induce guilt all on its own, but sitting there cozily tucked into Killian’s side had Emma almost feeling selfish for escaping from her family and friends in Storybrooke, not to mention her little girl to steal a few days - and nights - alone with her pirate husband. Nevermind that Hope had her Grandpa David completely wrapped around her tiny fingers and would be dragging him around with the dogs, goats and sheep on the farm until dark and then she and Grandma Snow would probably create the most intricate and icing-frosting gingerbread castle known to man; suffice it to say Hope was in little girl heaven being spoiled by her grandparents at present, and would get to spend a whole day with her adored big brother right before Emma and Killian returned; she was hardly pining away feeling left out. Maybe she should feel ashamed of herself for counting it almost a luxury to canoodle with her handsome husband in public without interruptions from well-meaning neighbors (or parents), Ruby winking at her knowingly from behind the counter at Granny’s, or one of the dwarves bursting into the middle of the date to proclaim some new emergency, but she felt incredibly spoiled and pleased at pulling it off all the same.
A pleasant rumbling chuckle from Killian’s chest vibrated through her as he licked the last of his own dessert from the spoon, making Emma’s heart rate triple and her cheeks heat at the image of his lips enveloping the utensil and thinking of how deliciously they felt sampling her bare skin as well when they were behind closed door. “You seemed pensive, Darling,” he murmured low in her ear, voice sounding mild and innocent, though Emma could clearly see otherwise when she shot a sideways glance at his twinkling eyes and mischievous expression.
“As if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing,” she countered with a huff, pushing away slightly to sit upright, sip the last dregs of her melty treat, and rise to stand before him determinedly. “Enough stalling, Captain,” she added with tart certainty. “You aren’t going to get me addled enough to forget what you promised. I may drag you back to our room, but…”
As she paused for a shaky breath, Killian ran his tongue salaciously over his lower lip, eyeing her intently and taking her internal temperature up another few notches. Still, Emma arched her brow right back at him in return and leaned in to meet his teasing look with one of her own. “But not before you take me ice skating, as planned,” she finished.
Shaking his head at her antics, Killian rose to his feet as well, leaving a generous tip for their server - with dollar bills, not doubloons, as Emma had reiterated he must do to blend in properly in the Land Without Magic - and offered her his arm as gallantly as ever while they made their way back out into the frosty night. Once they were back on the sidewalk, shoulders hunched against the chill air as they turned their steps toward Central Park, Killian spoke up again with resigned knowing, “Though I suspect you largely wish to see me at disadvantage and looking foolish, you wish is - as always - my command, Emma.”
The wide, dazzling grin she gave him in return sent any hesitance Killian had felt at the strange activity fleeing to the furthest back corner of his mind. His lovely wife beaming so open and joyously was still entirely too rare in his opinion, and it made any upcoming embarrassment well worth it. Emma, for her part, could see that decision in his adoring gaze, and blinked back the tears that beaded her eyelashes, loving him all the more for his dedication to her happiness.
~~~**
Upon reaching the crowded space sent aside as an ice-skating rink within the acreage of Central Park, not only did Emma gain a bit of an eager spring to her step, her shining golden hair swinging mesmerizingly over her shoulders, but Killian felt himself charmed too, in spite of his reluctance. The borders around the frozen surface were looped and festooned by a wealth of twinkle lights glowing cheerily, and at some point during their stop for dessert at Serendipity’s, snow had begun to fall lightly, giving the entire scene just the sort of pretty white dusting that added the perfect festive look to the atmosphere. People were scattered all around the busy clearing - as they were all throughout this major city, Killian was coming to understand, almost packed atop each other really. There were couples skating hand-in-hand and parents helping their children put on skates interspersed with teenagers weaving in and out of the slower skaters on the ice and laughing over their cocoa in clumps at the picnics tables; humanity of all ages and races converging here in holiday cheer. It truly was something to witness.
Emma led the way to the rental stall with confidence, causing Killian to wonder with blatant curiosity if she and Henry had come here often in that lost year when they were separated and her lad was still just a youngster yet. That time had dragged and tormented her unendingly, thinking Emma was lost to him forever, just when she had begun to see him for the man he wished to be, the man she had restored in him. All the same, for his Swan, it must have been such a sweet, simple respite in many ways. She didn’t remember the family, or the pirate, she had lost. Henry was hers alone, and had always been so. Returning to the constant battles and demands, to sharing her son with the woman who would have gladly seen her dead - or in a cursed sleep forever - could not have been the easy choice. Killian knew that - and yet, it struck him anew in moments he least expected it. 
Turning to see the slightly pained expression on his face, Emma’s brow puckered in confusion. “What’s wrong, Babe?” she asked worriedly, tugging the hand she held to get his attention fully. “You know I’m mostly kidding you, right? If we skate a couple rounds and you hate it, we don’t have to keep going.”
Killian shook his head with a light scoff at that, waving off her concern before bending to press a kiss to her forehead in reassurance. “Don’t you worry, Love,” he soothed. “I was only lost in thought for a moment.”
“Are you sure?” she asked, leaning in to rest a hand over his heart as she often did, ever since his time in the Underworld, it having become a bit of a habit to assure herself his heart was beating with life once again.
“Aye,” he nodded decisively, without a moment’s pause, not about to keep her guessing or make her feel he wouldn’t wish to join her in whatever she truly wished to do.
By this time, they had reached the front of the line and turned from conversation with each other to face the attendant renting skates to all the bravely bundled up visitors of the outdoor rink. To Emma’s surprise, the young man smiling back at them had an oddly familiar glimmer in his deep chocolate-brown eyes and soft affection to his smile. It was completely at odds with her certainty that she’d never met him before, nor could she begin to guess his name, but the way he greeted them with such friendliness and - she could have sworn - a playful wink, made it seem as if he somehow knew them. He was a handsome and eye-catching guy, his close-cropped black hair, mocha latte skin, and lean height made him hard not to notice, all the more reason Emma suspiciously felt she ought to know him, though her mind offered no further clues. “How can I help you fine folks?” he spoke then, bright and completely innocuous right words. “A couple pair of skates?”
“Right you are,” Killian answered, giving Emma a curious look to show he found this effusive welcome strange as well, but carrying on normally. “Two pair for an hour’s rental, if you please.”
With a nod, the attendant turned to reach behind him to the shelves and retrieve the skates in their sizes which Killian had requested. Emma offered him the rental fee money, as Killian had taken both pairs of skates in his good hand and didn’t often choose to extend his false wooden hand to strangers, even if he did concede to wear it when they ventured outside Storybrooke. However, when her gloved hand touched his to give him the money, a shivering flash ran through her, nearly knocking Emma back on her heels. 
Glancing up at the man sharply, Emma drew in a quick gasp of surprise, even as she felt Killian’s touch at the small of her back in silent support. All she got in return was a subtle bow of the head, acknowledging what she had felt, and the lowly murmured, “It’s lovely to see you happy for the holidays at long last, Savior.”
“What - ? Wait, who are you?” she sputtered, floundering for a response. “How did you - ?”
“Emma, Love, maybe now is not the time,” Killian whispered at her ear, nodding subtly toward the line of people behind them, beginning to shuffle and grow impatient when they didn’t move on with their skates and make way for the next customers.
“To answer your question, I’m Melvin Emrys, skate shop employee extraordinaire,” the enigmatic young man broke in with a smile. “Though I doubt that helps you, as I am sure even now you are thinking that name does not quite fit.” He winked again. “Both of you enjoy your time on the ice. It truly can be magical this time of year. But I’m afraid that now I must see to the rest of my customers.”
Killian ushered Emma over to a bench nearby, she still looking back over her shoulder uneasily, trying to understand what had just happened. Her pirate was hovering a bit more protectively than usual, but nothing overtly threatening had actually happened, and so they soon attempted to shrug off the odd encounter, see to their skates, and were soon gingerly stepping out onto the ice.
To her utter delight, Emma found that the gliding movement came back to her easily, her feet moving almost as if on auto pilot, her muscle memory seeming to sustain her, even if it had been years since she’d last been on skates. Swirling around she faced Killian, who was still on solid ground, looking dubiously at the frozen surface and then her as if again trying to gauge if she only wanted to see him land on his arse. 
Holding out her hand, Emma cocked her head to the side and gave him a playful pout before wheedling, “Come on now, Pirate, don’t tell me the scourge of the high seas is afraid of a little frozen water. Don’t you trust me?”
Resolve seemed to crystallize in Killian’s bright blue eyes, the determined bob of his chin seeming to solidify his decision. “That’s hardly fair, Sweetheart. You know I trust you as I would no one else.”  He took first one, then another cautious step forward, until he was, wavering only slightly, standing fully on the icy surface. “I simply wonder if you might also wish to see me looking as ridiculously uncoordinated as you sometimes do.”
“Hey!” Emma blurted out, almost jerking her hand back to cross her arms over her chest in feigned affront. 
He had hold of her already, and rather than slipping and losing his balance, he pulled her into his unexpectedly solid embrace, grinning down at her with a face so full of mischief that she knew immediately she’d been had. 
“You already know how to ice skate just fine, don’t you?” she asked, the answer having already dawned on her without much of a doubt.
Waggling both eyebrows at her in a way that made her want to both giggle and smack him simultaneously, Killian nodded in confirmation of her words, not willing to string her along any further. 
“Why didn’t you say so?” she asked curiously.
“All that time on the seas, traveling to so many different lands and times, I would have had to have picked it up somewhere. There are parts of the sea that turn so cold, even that much water can freeze solid,” he offered simply. “But you seemed to eager to show me something from your world, to teach me something that you loved to do, that I hated to spoil it for you. And I wasn’t completely sure that after so long in Neverland, I would still remember how…”
“Hmm…” Emma grumbled a bit, but it was half-hearted, seeing that his heart had been in the right place, and also eager to skate with him, to feel the breeze in her hair and the snowflakes on her face and enjoy the feeling of almost flying with him at her side.
“Now, now, Darling,” Killian crooned, taking her hand and pushing off gracefully, both of them setting off in a smooth glide that curved gently when they reached the end of the rink. “Don’t pout, just because you won’t be getting to see this arse you love bumped and bruised and frozen from landing on the ice.”
“Yeah, yeah, we’ll see about how much I love it once you probably show me up at this,” she said, but her cheeks were heating pleasantly just watching how smoothly he moved beside her. He was as graceful in this as he was everything else he tried.
~~~**
By the time their few days in the city drew to a close, it was Christmas Eve. As they packed up the Bug for the trek back to Storybrooke, Emma couldn’t help reflecting on what a difference a few days away could make. She and Killian hadn’t had this much time to themselves since they were married, quite possibly even since their inadvertent trip to the Enchanted Forest of the past. She couldn’t claim to read her pirate’s mind, but they did understand each other, just as they always had. It was clear enough that he felt as renewed as she did, and anxious to get home again to their loved ones, especially their little girl.
She knew Killian was also thrilled to have found gifts fit for his pirate princess at FAO Schwarz and couldn’t wait to give them to Hope the next day. He’d found a huge, ostentatious, feathered pirate hat worthy of his showy old nemesis Blackbeard, but he knew his daughter would love it. Along with that, he’d purchased a shining miniature toy cutlass which looked as much like his as he could have possibly imagined without being an actual weapon. Emma found herself grinning even more at the thought of the large, squishy-soft stuffed octopus she’d found herself to add to the haul. After being spoiled by her grandparents and then her older brother the last several days, Hope would be on a sugar high and bouncing off the walls with excitement already. Seeing all her presents from the big city would have her beside herself.
And Emma wouldn’t want it any other way. There was something incredibly healing about seeing her own child get to have the sort of Christ mas she herself had always dreamed of - surrounded by belongings and love - and getting to be a part of it herself at long last.
So when they drove past the Storybrooke sign some hours later, snowflakes still sparkling in the chill air and Killian’s solid warmth at her side, nearing the rest of their family and a Christmas celebration sure to be of royal proportions at her mother and father’s farmhouse that night, Emma smiled at her True Love and let herself savor that extra little thrill of Christmas magic.
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mademoisellekalopsia · 3 months ago
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Flushed All Over (02)
"Monday. It's not always a pleasant one, that's for sure. Keep telling yourself that, A. Yeah." [Internal voice]
Their gaze then shifts to B, whom they always see every other day.
"Oh goodness. It's them..." [Casually looking around, subtly gaze back at them once or twice]
B took a glance and noticed A who then met eyes with them.
"Ah, hey." [B greeted with a soft grin]
"Oh, hello. Good day." [Nods in return]
"A good day to you, too—" [A cut-off, coughing, but ends with a muffled inhale]
They felt their body flinch, unnoticed by B. Their cheeks flushed as they looked back at them, checking with concern. What they heard is what they initially figured as it certainly sounded like an involuntary hitch.
They internally want to rid themselves of the face of Earth and fall into a void for being amused by it again. They curse to themselves, looking away respectfully.
"Mmm, excuse me—Hnk!" [A bit flush, letting out a light guffaw as their body jerks once more]
"Ah...no worries, really! Uhm, need some water?" [A suggested]
Flusteration grew between them. B wanted to answer, but instead, they raised a dismissive hand; they didn't want their case or them to be bothered for A. Acting all "casual and stoic" whilst their head jerked back and their midriff quivered beneath their palm.
Their light interaction was disrupted when the train's horn blasted twice as a sign of its arrival at the station.
A and B stepped inside, on their way to work and on their separate ways. What a shame. A had taken a liking to B. Smitten by their politeness and endearing personality. The problem is they are not one to often take the first step. Another is the early transit on a Monday.
 "Ooh...cramp...can it get any compressed than this in here?! Ugh...great...just great." [Groans]
They politely adjust themselves, standing in their place in the middle of the train as it continues with the travel.
Having to work early is a routine for A, but sometimes they couldn't help but feel the lingering heaviness in their eyes. Figuring that they had closed their eyes for a few minutes A let out a soft gasp rousing them to wake. Alert and conscious. Beside them was B; the quivering successions of their body felt clear and appreciated in a way.
"Hoo—gosh. Shucks!" [A flushed but remained calm]
"Hmrk!'Uh. Pardon me." [B tips their head to a nod toward A with a sheepish grin]
"Ah! It's okay. You're all good!" [Reassuring tone with held back relentless]
The movements felt relishing for A. The train was quite packed full of people and the fact that A was standing and pressing close to B was all too much to process.
[A scowled to themselves internally] "Snap out of it..."
Even when A considers to ignore B's presence, they couldn't help but check in on them. Tilting their head high to gaze at B. They caught their neck tensing and a soft, gulpy "Hulp!" ending with a huff. A might as well get the shivers down bad.
B met with A's eyes again, a light flush on their cheeks as they spoke.
"Do forgive me, they're–Hmp! not exactly subtle."
"It's alright. Well...for me. at least." [Reassuring tone]
"They just c-Humk!–ame back."
[A frowned] "Second time, huh? That's awful."
"Mmm...nothing to it. Hmmmk'uh." [B chuckled, following another silent hitch that thumped in their chest]
A and B were both flushing again. Flusteration and a hint of embarrassment, respectively. The ride was steadfast even though it took twenty minutes for B to get off the stop. Before they step out, A uttered.
"Uhm. I-I hope they don't last too long."
B looked back at them with a nod to a farewell. A gentle smile was etched on their face. Even the cheeks around their face appear all the more endearing for A.
"HUCK!–uh. Yeah, haha. I concur–Hurk!...to that." [They felt A's empathy before they step off the transit and saunter away]
A hoped for their meet up again, at the station, and that it would last a little longer next time.
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lumine-no-hikari · 5 months ago
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Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #369
For the first time in a while, I actually managed to get about 8 consecutive hours of sleep last night. And I gotta say, it felt pretty fucking great!
...Now all I have to do is keep doing that every night for the next couple weeks so that my brain can actually heal from the sleep-deprivation-induced stress that I put it under, haha...
...Sigh. Ah well.
I woke up this morning to a text from my boss, Ka, asking if I could come in to work today. I wanted to say yes, but... I also knew that if I went in, I'd be denying myself a desperately-needed chance to rest (and to get some laundry and dishes done, sheesh...), so I had to tell her no for today. I am going to go to work on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday of this upcoming week, though! For Monday and Tuesday, I'll be on for 6 whole hours, with breaks in between so I can go to the dentist on Monday and to physical therapy on Tuesday. It's gonna be a weird next few days, it seems. But that's all right; more hours for me means more money saved up for the educational credentials evaluation, which... we still gotta get done. Sheesh.
I did do laundry, so now both of my work shirts and my work pants are nice and clean. I did dishes, too, which was also good; the sink is mostly clear, and that always feels nice (it'll be full again soon enough, but that just means we have food to eat). I even managed to eat two whole times today!! Lately, I eat only once since these braces kinda make eating into kind of an annoying process; I have to thoroughly scrub the inside of my face every time before popping my braces back in, and some of my dentin was exposed a little, due to the way a couple of my teeth moved. But I've been using this weird toothpaste, which uses apatite instead of fluoride. Apatite is supposedly a better material to use than fluoride, since it both helps reduce sensitivity and protects enamel. Over time, I've noticed a lot less pain in the usual spots, since using it, so that's pretty rad, I guess.
...It also doesn't burn the inside of my mouth like holy hell, the way the Sensodyne stuff I've been using does.
...Seriously, why in fuck did almost all of the makers of adult toothpaste decide that it has to be pain-flavored??? Like... children's toothpaste gets awesome flavors like grape, watermelon, strawberry, and bubblegum, and they taste great and they don't hurt the inside of my mouth to use! But children's toothpaste doesn't have enough of the protective ingredient to do its job for adult teeth, so I have to use adult toothpaste (well... Hello makes a good children's toothpaste that is suitable for adult use, but it does nothing about exposed dentin...). Adult toothpaste is usually either mint or cinnamon flavored, and both of these flavors make the inside of my mouth feel like it's burning. It's really very terrible.
I was using the Sensodyne anyway though, even though it's made only for adults (and is definitely pain-flavored, oh my goodness), because the pain from toothbrush contact with dentin is many orders of magnitude worse than the burning sensation that comes from using the Sensodyne toothpaste.
...I wonder if your world has better toothpaste flavors. You'll have to tell me about it sometime.
Anyway, this new apatite toothpaste not only doesn't hurt to use, but also it does a better job, and less of it is needed to get my teeth clean. And I'm pretty sure it's re-mineralizing my exposed dentin, too, because I can suck in cold air without those three upper right teeth hurting now. So I'm probably going to stick with this kind for the foreseeable future.
I had leftover Indian food and tea for breakfast – goat korma, and lavender bergamot tea, with honey and... yes, more mascarpone cheese, hahaha...
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I had intended to play the game that An from work suggested, but... I got entirely sucked up into leisure writing today. I'm not sad about it; it was fun, wholesome and probably entirely necessary. Still, given my work schedule this week, it's probably going to be some time before I get a chance to actually sit down with a video game. Oh well.
Later, after J come home, he and M and I finally played a board game called Betrayal Legacy. It's basically exactly like this other cool game called Betrayal at House on the Hill. Both of these games involve exploring a haunted house, and the closer one gets to finishing exploring the house, the more likely a haunting is to occur. When the haunting occurs, one player is chosen at random to antagonize the other players. And so either the other players team up to win against the antagonizer, or the antagonizer succeeds in their nefarious plot and wins. The difference between them is that, in the legacy version, the results of the games permanently impact the next games played. Though it's too early, for now, to say exactly how.
In this game, I played as a young, teddy-bear-carrying girl named Emmi. While exploring the house, Emmi managed to find a flintlock pistol. Then she found a Chalice of Insanity. The Chalice of Insanity informed us that there was a witch among us; we were given cards to determine which of us it was. Rules were specified for how the witch was supposed to behave and how the other players were supposed to behave. The game then stipulated that we cannot reveal our cards to each other, and that we will lose sanity for each round we do not attack another player. If a player loses all their sanity, then that player dies.
Well. I managed to come out on top, probably because the flintlock gave me an incredible advantage. Plot twist: there was no witch. Our enemy was the house, or maybe even the game itself, that turned us all against one another.
...The house kind of reminds me of Jenova.
...I didn't like winning this game. I will remember for future games that my enemy is the house, and try to play accordingly. Because I can learn from my mistakes.
Hey, Sephiroth. You can learn from your mistakes, too. And you can do an even better job of that than I can, since you're so much smarter than me and everything.
Well. I had another plate full of snacks for this game. They were quite nice:
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I'm maybe a little bit nervous about tomorrow, since I'm going to have... just... so much stuff to do, oh my goodness. I'm going to have so much stuff to do for like the next three days. Most of it will be fun stuff, for sure, but still... I guess I kinda... want some time to myself that doesn't involve... like... writing or creating or trying to improve one skill or another...
I realize that even when I'm “resting” like with leisure writing... leisure writing is still technically productive time. Because I'm normally using it to either improve my ability to express care, working through my own emotions and psyche, or trying to reconnect with what I care most about. It's restorative in some ways, but... I'm not sure it technically counts as “rest”. Not even playing Hades, I think, counts as rest, because I'm probably a bit too preoccupied with deliberately trying to improve my skills. Hm.
...It occurs to me that I'm not really sure how to exist without putting some kind of pressure on myself. Even when I'm sitting and not doing things, my brain is usually screaming at me to stop wasting time. I... should probably fix that, because... knowing myself, I'm pretty sure that even if I were to deliberately try to exist without putting pressure on myself, I'd probably end up putting pressure on myself to not put pressure on myself. If you've been reading my letters up until this point, I'm sure that will come as absolutely no surprise to you whatsoever. Please excuse me as I roll my eyes so hard at myself that my eyes might quite literally be in danger of rolling right out of my damn skull. Sigh...
Well. I should probably stop writing. I don't really want to because writing to you is enjoyable, but... I do have to wake up in less than 8 hours, which... isn't exactly ideal. Whoops.
Hey. I love you a whole lot. So please do your best to be nice to yourself and to keep yourself safe, okay? I'm counting on you to return to us alive.
I'll write again tomorrow. Make good choices in the meantime, okay?
Your friend, Lumine
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navire190413 · 9 months ago
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haha i got drunk and wrote like 2,000 words about my experience with learning japanese. read it sober and just sat in front of my computer like 😐
you know when old people talk a lot and sometimes its hard to tell if they’re trying to pass on wisdom or are just kind of full of themselves and want to talk about themselves? what i wrote was definitely the latter. i’m just an おじいさん who wants to drink and smoke and talk about myself and my hard work lol
one of my favorite 居酒屋 to visit on my way home from work is closing for good this weekend. its open 24/7 so it was always great for stopping by after drinking at the bar until morning. their squid and shrimp 串カツ are soooo good. i’m actually here now typing this on my phone. this izakaya is in a basement so i don’t have signal. i just end up scrolling through my photos or blogging in my notes while sitting here alone for an hour until my favorite bar opens at 7.
the last time i came here a server ive become acquainted with hit on me, and i didn’t pick up on it at all, so my reaction was kind of dull. i only realized he was hitting on me when he turned around and all the other servers were laughing at him bc they were all eavesdropping. he probably mentioned he was gonna do it beforehand haha. i’m so sorry. i would be totally down to grab drinks if i realized sooner 😂
he always makes me turn around and show him my backpiece when im wearing tanktops and croptops. and hes always basically yelling カッコいい!!its cute how not normal tattoos are here. i would never get these reactions in america but sometimes it can be annoying. yes yes i have a lot of tattoos. yes. expensive. yes painful. and then they find out about my scarification, which honestly most people in the states have also never seen, so then its a weird balance of explaining my love for body modification and not self mutilation.
money has gotten TIGHT lately. im literally courting my ex and bringing him to izakayas and nice restaurants every week and im going broke from it so i gotta stop hahaha. we did have a really good time last night, though. and hes always really grateful and respectful when im paying. he also initiated a lot of kisses and kept kissing my cheeks last night which was weird and not like him at all. im not gonna think about it anymore tho.
i am super excited about where we’re going on saturday. its an 青森県 restaurant and i guess they get fish delivered daily from there, so i hope its super fresh and tasty 😤. i unfortunately booked too late and couldnt get a private room, but i think sitting at the counter will be nice since we’re doing the all-you-can-drink course and itll be faster to get our drinks if we’re not in a secluded room.
my go-to drink for the past 2 years living here has always been highballs, but lately theyre way too strong for me. ive become obsessed with lemon sours, but because its not whiskey in them like highballs i become drunk super super fast. good for cost performance purposes but dangerous since im used to my highball drinking pace. i usually dont black out if i only drink for 2-3 hours on a work night but the other day i drank my usual amount, just this time they were lemon sours and not highballs. i was on the verge of blacking out returning home at only 9pm on a monday 😂
i can’t stop thinking about the guy who asked me to be his girlfriend two weeks ago. he’s american and he’s nice enough, but he’s been living in japan for over a year and cant even say すみません to get a server’s attention. he also doesnt eat meat, so i cant introduce him to yakiniku and yakitori which are my go-to. everytime we hungout i had to translate everything and guide him around tokyo. i brought him to an izakaya for his first time and had to teach him the words for squid and octopus. which he promptly forgot 2 minutes later. its literally taco and ika!!! we got lost in a department store one time and i had to ask for directions while he just stood there. it always felt like i was with a child who knew nothing when we were together. as friends, im more than happy to introduce tokyo and translate. but as someone who was obviously trying to be appealing to me, it was honestly a massive ick. i have no preference when it comes to what ethnicity or cultural background someone is, but i cant date someone who knows less about japan than me. it was a good realization actually! i always say i dont have a type, but i think im slowly starting to realize my type. he doesnt have friends so he would always say “lets go out and explore tokyo together!”dude i have been experiencing tokyo for 2 years. i have my favourite spots and my favourite neighborhoods and i know how to find good restaurants and i regularly go out and just do shit by myself because i can navigate it by myself. he also was expecting me to teach him japanese which was just soooo….
when you get to a level where you’ve lived somewhere long enough and can speak the language a lot of people expect you to be a free tour guide. when it comes to strictly friends with no expectation of me, im more than happy to plan a day of sightseeing and introductions but sometimes when i make friends with foreigners it feels like that’s all they want out of me. i mean it goes both ways. a lot of japanese men just view me as a fetish object. omg a white girl who i can actually speak to!!! maybe she can teach me english!!! ive never fucked a 6 foot tall white girl with tattoos!!!
for my established friends, i happily translate stuff for them and give them english lessons but man it feels like theres a lot of expectations of me meeting people here. from foreigners and native japanese people.
i have a lot of foreign friends who have lived here longer than me and dont speak a lick of japanese and dont have any plans on learning. i dont really feel one way or the other about it. theyve been here long enough and know they can get around and have fun without knowing the language. i cant imagine how tough that is sometimes so more power to them. but its always the people complaining they want to learn and want to understand and communicate but still for some reason just dont sit down and study or make an effort to make japanese friends so they can atleast pick up conversational japanese that i dont understand. why are you not studying???? sure its hard but just do it??? you dont even have to use textbooks. apps kind of suck once you get past the basics but its at least something you can do while riding the train and then atleast i wouldnt have to order for you at the bar after youve been living here for several months!!!
im a princess and a brat and am obsessive so studying is super easy for me. i studying during my lunch breaks and anytime im riding the train. i understand thats not the case for everyone, so i try to take the time to teach my friends who want to learn japanese important phrases for day to day life. maybe textbooks and studying isnt their thing, which is fine. okay i’ll teach you as we go. but even then they dont retain anything 😂 dont complain to me about not being able to speak japanese if you’re not going to put in a little bit of effort to atleast order a beer by yourself!!!! and if youre over thinking the difference between ください and お願いします before you can even say [名前]と申します, youre thinking too much!!!!! japanese is hard. theres a lot of info. if you start getting into super specific japanese before you can do self introductions, its gonna be a long long road. so im super happy i learned japanese in america where i went textbook step by step instead of being surrounded by confusing japanese all day long. when i try to teach my friends japanese they always somehow ask me about n2 grammar. and its just like. stop. ignore that. that does NOT have anything to do with you at this time. i was N2 before N3 grammar even made sense to me (i did get full points on n3 test despite none of it making sense to me though 😂) because i finally had context for it and could make the connections. without those building blocks and going step by step id be lost. and thats why you should study the language before coming to a foreign country.
god im judgmental.
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ilkkawhat · 15 days ago
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the latest doctor who episode awakened me like a sleeper agent. used to hang around here for Midnight Mondays. would love to hear your thoughts. love RTD commitment to destroying the earth to toxic and did I catch a few bars of 9's theme as Bel and the Doctor were landing?
you're the second person to bring up midnight monday in the past couple days and i just wanna first and foremost say i'm glad it seems like people look back on that fondly enough to remember me and my uber-hyperfixation on that one singular episode cause i worry it was maybe a bit cringe (which i feel like i am in general at times 😅) though i do remember how people would kinda scream with me about how great that episode was and i forever appreciate that as someone who doesn't have many IRL people to talk to about it (the cousins that were into DW were more into 11's seasons and i didn't wanna idk. scare them off with how much i was obsessed with a single episode lol) and hooooooooooooo boy yeah. it woke me up too though i will admit DW's been on my mind a lot lately, have had dreams about it, watched some of tennant's episodes as 14 (i can't remember why i didn't finish? cause i definitely loved the first episode and i think i started the second), still kinda like, casually look at tags and stuff just to see what's been going on, i'm sure i'm just gonna snap one day and rewatch everything and properly catch up like i did with csi back in 2018/2019
and that being said, the second i found out they did a midnight sequel? my heart LEPT. in intrigue, in joy and excitement
and i know midnight was such a great episode on its own, the perfect standalone bottle episode that came before all of big finale stuff of that season, the story was buttoned up and the only thing left to linger was the doctor's very....off feelings at the end of it, clearly exhausted and unsettled after he told donna everything. half-heartedly smiling with his molto bene until donna repeated it and he just like, doesn't snap but pleads with her that she not do that again and the episode ends on just that...haunted look of his, and then like most adventures, we don't hear really anything more after that (at least so i remember--admittedly been years now since i watched midnight, i meant to watch it yesterday but some...stuff happened and it didn't feel right)
[putting my thoughts of The Well under a cut just cause of spoilers]
SO. going in knowing it was a midnight sequel was definitely a thrilling prospect for me. I think i did admittedly cheat and see a gifset even before i watched, specifically one of ncuti (who from what i have seen, I very much enjoy) crying and knowing RTD is back in chargem so i knew it was going to be good, hearing Toxic immediately took me back--when i ultimately watch this episode again i'll have to keep an ear out for 9's theme!!
and as a fan of horror and sci-fi and esp put together, the setting of the stage of exploring this desolate planet with a mining facility was already checking off so many boxes for me.
And then the shadow appeared--and I commend this episode for still not showing us the entity in full!!! I love that shit so much!!! keeping the mystery but keeping the terror the characters experience. I'm usually not a fan of jumpscares but boy that one got me (and legit i saw a gifset of it right after it happened while i was watching lol)
and i love how they slooooowly built up hints, like the radiation and how nobody could live on the surface, etc until that reveal and the doctor also putting the pieces together, what, 5 regenerations later? and seeing his reaction was just!!!!! he was so scared still and for a character like the doctor who has such a long history to be scared over something he experienced literal lifetimes ago, AND NOT TO MENTION THE FLASHBACKS AND SHOWING TEN'S TERRIFIED FACE THAT'S BEEN BURNED INTO MY MIND SINCE THE NIGHT I FIRST WATCHED IT. I. fucking. LOVED. IT.
and the talking about it, how the entity "played a game" with them UGH again, just checking off so many boxes for me as someone who not only lives to see the whumpy traumatic events happen, but to see the aftermath that comes after.
and yet since he's still the doctor, he's still curious, he still tried to connect to this entity that literally possessed him the last time they met, still trying to understand what it is, trying to learn, trying to see it. and again, while we had the doctor constantly looking for that shadow we still as an audience never got to see it even at the very end when it's revealed that it got on the escape ship.
maybe cause of the setting but it also almost gave me a bit of the impossible planet/the satan pit vibes which now makes me selfishly wish this ep could have been two parts
so yeah. huuuuuuuuge fan of this episode, probably the best way they could approach a sequel to such a classic as midnight and definitely gave me some much needed serotonin even if it was only for a few hours. 15/10 would recommend
(also inb4 i now start thinking of 15 going back to visit 14 at some point and tell him what happened and RIP to all those midnight fics i never started or finished back in the day lol)
((also--thank you for this great distraction during a rough start of the week 💜))
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grae-98 · 9 months ago
Text
Treatment
Chapter 4: Visiting Strangers
Set between 1880-1890, You have been feeling and acting off. After visiting the doctor's he sends you off to stay in Pelican Town where you are set to receive treatment for your condition. Upon arrival you learn the doctor administering these treatments is better than you think.
Harvey/ unnamed afab!reader
2nd pov
I stopped keeping track of word count. About 3k
trigger warnings: reader is diagnosed with hysteria, mentions of depression, cheating/ adultery, doctor/ patient relationship, mentions of infertility
smut tags: fingering, cunnilingus, grinding, piv, heavy smut
notes: i do have this posted on ao3 if you'd prefer to read it there.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7
Correspondence with the lawyer was easy. You wrote to him explaining that you would be interested in receiving his services. You provided details of your marriage with your husband and explained that you weren’t entirely sure what sort of service he may be able to provide. Only a week later when you got your letter setting up a time for him to visit you. He is to visit Pelican Town on the second Monday after the start of winter. He explained that he would review the information you provided him and would retain more after your meeting. The start of winter was only one week away, and you needed to find something to bide your time while you wait for your meeting with him.
As the early setting sun had long since passed. The golden light fallen behind the trees making for you to light your lamps. Sitting at the small dark wooden desk with the letter still in your hand you hear a knock at the door.
‘Must be time for bed.’ You thought to yourself.
A quiet voice spoke, “Ma’am, may I come in?”
“Yes, Haley please do.” You spoke as you do your same evening ritual. You stood from the desk and made your way closer to the open area of the room. Old floorboards creaking under each step. Turning your back towards Haley she began to unlace your ties.
“I wish to speak to you for a moment.” She said after helping you remove the boning from your torso. She turned to rest the blasted thing in the armoire.
“Yes, of course is there anything I may help you with?” Following the typical routine, you sat on the stool that faced the mirror. Haley removed each hair pin allowing your hair to fall in sections to your back.
“I find myself in an odd predicament. I took your advice and I have been looking for happiness. My sister insisted upon it actually.” She spoke with trepidation as though she feared how you would react.
“Very good! I am glad to hear that, most truly.” As she brushes out your hair you could hear the stress in her voice before she began to speak again.
 “I am to think that I may have to leave your employ.” So softly and with anxiety.
“Oh, Haley! What wonderful news, are you to be married already?” You turn to face her completely. You find her standing before you with a great smile etched into her fair cheeks. Her golden hair was tied meticulously while yours laid loosely around your neck and shoulders.
“Not yet, but soon. I was told by some others that he intends to propose in the coming week.” You stand, taking her hands and leading her to your bed for you both to sit.
“You will have to let me know when your wedding will be. I do hope you will allow me to attend.”
“Of course, I will have it no other way!” You both proceed to giggle like children as she tells you of her soon to be intended.
Two days have passed since your conversation with Haley, and you found yourself thinking while staring blankly at the books page in front of you. Eyes scanning the same paragraph repeatedly while you are unable to retain the words. Sighing you close the book unable to keep your thoughts quiet. You make your way over to the bookshelf slotting the novel back into its place. Slowly meandering back to the spot you were previously seated.
You spoke to yourself inside your head as though you were making conversation with yourself.
‘I do not know what to expect from this lawyer. I do not know if he can help me. Help me with what exactly? That is part of what I do not know. I still have yet to hear from my husband it’s almost like he is glad that I am gone. I did come here so quickly. The house hadn’t even been properly aired out yet before coming. It is odd how quickly he agreed that I should come away from him. I should have fought to stay, shouldn’t I? But then how will have you have met Harvey?’ Thoughts proceeded to be consumed by him, groaning you lay your hand to your forehead in hopes to stave off the coming headache.
“Ma’am?” One of the boys asked. Startled from your thoughts you jumped. You hadn’t even heard him enter.
“Yes?” You spoke breathlessly.
“There is someone here to see you.”
“Oh!” You stand. Running your hands down the front your dress. Walking over to the door you are greeted by a stranger. His brown hair and hazel eyes took you aback as you weren’t expecting company.
“Good day.” You spoke politely.
The gentleman removed his hat before he entered your home and was standing in your foyer looking around pleasantly. Mildly annoyed you cleared your throat, and it brought his attention back to you.
“Ah, yes. Good day. I am to assume you are the lady of the house.” He speaks matter-of-factly.
“I am, but I am sorry to inform you we are not entertaining solicitors presently.”
The man chuckles, “I am no solicitor ma’am. I have been sent her on behalf of Mr. Acunin.” The name catches your attention, and you offer a little more warmth to your voice compared to previously.
“I see, please do come in.” You motion for him to follow you before asking one of the boys to bring tea. After making the short walk to the drawing room you ask for him to sit in which he obliges.
“You said you’ve come on behalf of my lawyer?” You ask without spending time on pleasantries.
“I am.” He nods his head in agreement.
“I was not expecting Mr. Acunin until the beginning of the week after next.”
“Yes, and you still shall. I was sent here to get confirmation to begin my investigation.” Your brows pulled together at his statement as he took a drink of his newly poured tea.
“Investigation into what?” He set his cup gently onto the saucer placed on the table.
“Your husband, ma’am.”
“What of my husband? Who exactly are you?” Mild hostility entered your voice as you spoke.
“Pardon my brashness, I was hired my Mr. Acunin as a private detective for the case against your husband.” He shakes his head as a way to clear it.
“My deepest apologies sir, but I do not understand. What case against my husband?”
“I would imagine should it be for your divorce.” Shock filled your mind. A thousand thoughts running through like they were running a race.
“Divorce?” You ask shakily.
“Yes, I was under the impression you were to be filing for divorce should your husband be caught in extra marital affairs. That was Mr. Acunin informed me of. I just need your approval to begin the investigation.”
“What exactly would you be doing? Thought that the private detectives worked with the police in some cases.” Still on edge you respond as levelly as you can.
“In some cases, yes but not always. What I will do is follow your husband for around for a week, take note of his day-to-day involvements, search for any documents that might have been filed that pertain to you, and report all of my findings to Mr. Acunin.”
“I see.” You speak plainly.
“Ma’am, Dr. Harvey is here.” You turn to see Harvey standing in the threshold between the hallway and the drawing room with a look of surprise on his face.
“Oh my, look. Most days I am here to my lonesome and today I have received two visitors. Doctor Harvey I will be with you in a moment.” He nods, cheeks flushed with embarrassment.
The private detective spoke once more, “I shall be gone soon, I just need your verbal and written consent if you please.”
You turn to look at him once more. Smile slowly dropping from your face as you do. The man eyes you and then the doctor before pulling a leather satchel loose. Riffling through papers before pulling them out followed by a fountain pen. Uncapping the pen and setting it next to the papers, you lift them to scan over what you will be signing.
Leaning over the table you sign your name and offer him the consent he was waiting for. “You may follow him, but please use your discretion. I would not like to see this come back to me.” He nods in understanding before blowing on the page and filing it back into his bag.
“Good day Ma’am.”
“And to you sir.” He is met at the door by one of the boys to open it for him. You watch as he leaves through the door and rush to the window to see him walk down the path to the edge of the property. Harvey still standing at the door captures your attention. He motions to you to follow him, and you do. Walking at similar pace to him he opens your bedroom door for you. Haley must have already lit the fireplace long ago because the warm air feels much different than that of just outside of it.
Looking over to Harvey he is removing his shoes and his vest coat. All part of the typical routine of your treatments. With no causing for alarm, you approached him after he stood up straight. Locking your arms around his waist, laying your head against his chest content just to hear his heart beating. You can hear the rumble in his voice as he began to speak, “Would you like to share who that was?”
“I will, soon. This is something too new that I do not wish to share until I have more information first. I will Harvey, I promise.” He places his hands on your shoulders to draw you from him.
“Why do I have the feeling that you are hiding something from me?” Looking over your face Harvey tilts your chin up to him.
“I have no reason to hide anything from you nor do I.” You remove your arms from him while lowering your jaw. Your voice temporarily filled with defensiveness.
“While I do not doubt that this all feels very secretive. Is he the reason you spoke with Robin several weeks ago?”
“Yes, he is part of the reason. You must trust that I will tell you more in the future. This may be something of benefit to us. I would like to not get both of our hopes high for us to be disappointed.” You place the extra emphasis on ‘us’ for Harvey to understand.
“I will trust you, my love. If this involves the two of us I will take you for your word and wait.” You smile brightly at him. Moving to embrace him once again he meets you half way. Tilting your chin up once more he leans down to match your height. Running the tip of his nose against your own he speaks in a whisper.
“Aside from your visitor, how do you fare today?” You look up to his eyes and his eyes find yours. Giving him another smile he mimics you again. The creases of his eyes are deeper than you’ve ever notice and there are trace freckles that are left behind from summer. You can see every pore, every crevice, every line.
“I missed you.” You spoke against his lips.
“You say that each time we meet.” He smiles as he bushes against your lips.
“I say it because it is true.” You press your parted lips lightly against his before pulling away again. “I say it, because it is easier to say than; my heart aches for you every moment that you are not nearest my side.” Harvey kisses you this time with only little more force.
“What else does it mean?” He says after pulling away again.
“It means that I feel like I am most comfortable laying in your arms. That I think about you most constantly. I think about your laugh, your blasted laugh makes me feel whole. I think of your hair, your nose, your voice, how you would respond if you were around me.” You kiss him, your eyes fluttering closed when you don’t break apart immediately. His hand finds your cheek as he rubs a thumb over your lip once you part. Eyes still closed; you press a kiss to the pad of his thumb before you speak again.
“And what is worst of all is that I torture myself over you. A beautiful kind of torture.”
“What kind of torture is that?”
“I like to imagine what it would be like to wake up with you in the morning. To kiss you as the break of dawn falls through our open window.” You place your palm against the center of Harvey’s chest. Feeling his pulse much greater than it was just minutes before.
“Our?” Harvey speaks softly.
“Our.” You repeat back. “I imagine you coming home from your clinic and I am here to greet you. I imagine that neither of us must be lonely. I feel whole with you.”
“You imagine us to have a home together?”
“But I wish for nothing more than to turn back the hands of time.”
“Do you wish us to never have met to save you from this torture?” His eyes look like glass from his statement.
“No, I wish to go back and marry you instead.”
“Marry me?” He speaks like this is the first time someone has admitted their love for him. You caress the cheek of him that is opposite of yours. You pull him in for your lips to graze tenderly.
“I wish that more than anything in the world.” You feel as though you could explode as Harvey drags you in so tightly. Pouring each emotion into you. This kiss was passionate and full of longing. You felt a sense of love that is deeper than any kiss shared previously.
Moving at a languid pace towards the bed he lays you down against the pillows. Although you’ve had your treatments twice a week for around four weeks now all your treatments are the proper conduct. Only the one time had you two lain together. It could be suspected that Harvey did not wish to be seen other than a gentleman or that perhaps he did not wish to take advantage of a situation.
Your dress feels tight against the belly and the bust as he lays you down.
“Harvey, I need you to unlace me first.” He helps pull you back up.
“Of course.” He speaks into your neck after he removes the jacket that is part of your dress. After making a show of loosening the strings of your corset he helps remove the bustle and petticoat from your skirts. Leaving you with little clothing you find yourself once again on your bed. This time with Harvey’s hands running the course along your body.
“You have gained some weight, my dove. It suits you well. You must have gained the appetite after starting treatment.” He spoke into the flesh of your thigh as he kissed his way up your leg.
“I suppose I have. Someone has been depleting my energy all these months.”
“And I will continue.” He laughed against you. Tongue dipping between your folds, both of you moaning. He remembered to remove his spectacles before descending this time, you watched as he placed them next to your head.
It had been two weeks since he has tasted you and he performs like he never had. Your hands tangled in his hair as his tongue slips from you and offers suckles against your clit. Crying out for him he offers his fingers to massage your breast. Occasionally twisting over a sensitive nipple, you moan his name.
Minutes pass as your heaving chest meets his hand while his mouth continues to lave against you. Legs now wrapped around his head Harvey’s fingers finally enter you. Feeling starved of his affection you ask him to kiss you. Letting your legs fall he moves up your body to kiss your lips once again.
“My darling, do you want it inside you again?”
“Please, Harvey more than anything.” He kisses you again before removing his bottoms completely. With no extra begging he proceeds to line himself with your entrance. Harvey pushes himself in just past the tip while groaning in satisfaction.
“As many times as I feel you with my hands you feel so much greater like this.” He speaks into your ear as he bottoms himself out inside of you. The walls of your sex feel so much more tender than usual. You place a hand on his backside to keep him from moving.
“Wait a moment. Let me enjoy the feeling of you and I connected.” Harvey stills completely while holding himself above you. Lowering himself to kiss your lips once again he speaks, “My heart, I love you the most of anything in this world.”
“I know Harvey. I feel the same, it is wonderful to be loved.” Your eyes well when his hips began to pull themselves back. A slow and precise tempo. This kept on for what felt like nearly 20 minutes in your mind, but in reality you knew it couldn’t have been that long before you asked for more.
Harvey seems to give you anything you ask for. His hips gain much momentum, skin began to slap and fluids flowed freely. Harvey sat up straight while delving into you to allow for faster thrusts. You could feel your end coming close, and it seems so could he. Pushing into you with great force he felt you tighten around him like a clamp. Crying in pleasure you raked your nails up his arms. Moaning as you reached you end Harvey quickly removed himself to relatch his mouth to your sex.
Not fully through your orgasm yet you feel his tongue flatten against you before retreating into his mouth. Cleaning you of all your liquids he proceeds to make you contract around his tongue once more.
“Oh Gods, Harvey!” You yell to him in a whispered hush. He smiles from down below while coming back up for air.
“You can give me one more.” He says to you. He has a look in his eye like he’s crazed. Before you can even respond he grabs your legs by the calves and pushes them to bend by your shoulder. After nearly folding you in half he takes himself in his hand once more and wipes it along your swollen folds. Moaning in a mix of pleasure and protest he pushes himself in.
Like the wind was knocked from your lungs your throat made a strange garble. He has never felt so deep within you and every wild thrust he pushed into you had you moaning wantonly into the had he placed onto your mouth not long ago. The other one of his hands left the back of your thigh to roughly stroke your clit.
“I want you to do that thing again.” Harvey was out of breath and was having trouble communicating while trying to focus his thrusts. You motioned a weak nod as you tightened against him on purpose. Throwing his head back in response he moves his right hand from your mouth to wipe his brow of sweat, left hand still focused on playing your venus like an instrument.
Harvey’s thrusts began to become shallower in hopes to stroke the place he has found many times with his fingers. Finally hitting the mark, you opened your mouth in a silent scream. You felt the fluid release from your body and trickle down your backside. Each thrust from the man above you were infinitely louder. Pleased with your reaction his hips resumed their rough course, bumbling into you with bruising pace. Your nails now like claws in his skin as he fucked you into your own mattress. Crying actual tears, you released again, more fluid dripping over your body. This didn’t seem to relent his pace at all, he continued undisturbed in his want to melt your brain.
“Harvey!” You hiccupped through cries. He looked down to you, eyes widening before he smiled an evil grin.
“Almost done, love.” He spoke as if he was telling the truth. I would be another two minutes before he released you from your position after his completion. Groaning above you hilt buried as deep as he could muster while slowly rocking himself into you. Your walls milking him with hunger. The loud pop as he pulled himself completely from you sounded in your ears.
Harvey leaned over you to place a soft kiss upon your lips and you returned the sentiment breathlessly. He stood from the bed to walk to the water basin near your vanity to dip a thin cloth. Walking over he soothed your abused sex with featherlight strokes against you. Your attempts to stand after were met with legs unable to hold your weight. You laughed when he handed you his arm to keep you steady. Looking up to Harvey you could see the sparkle in his eye as he smiled down to you.
_
The next week that passed by felt like an instant. Days bled together and offered little solace to your turbulent mind. Haley came in to dress you, then undress you twice a day, every day as per usual. Eat, read, play piano, read more, eat, do needle work, Harvey visit, eat again, write letters that go unanswered, sleep, repeat. The simplicity of a day it was. Although it was just biding time before you wait for your guest.
It was the second Monday after the start of winter that he did arrive. Coming in by train you offered one of your men to retrieve him from the platform. As soon as he arrived in your home, he greeted you kindly with a charming smile.
‘This is the man Robin recommended?’ You thought to yourself. You offered him to sit with you and poured the customary cup of tea. He explained several topics to you most of which had to do with the following.
“Solely based from the information I obtained through your letters I am to understand that perhaps your greatest option is divorce.”
“I beg your pardon?”
“Divorce, madame. It is when you to become.” You cut him off to respond to him.
“Sir, I very well know what divorce is. I do not believe that I have the grounds to do so. My husband has never so much as laid a finger upon me, nor does he have any gambling problems. I have no reason to suspect that he has been unfaithful to me in our marriage… unless of course he is recently taken my absence as an invitation to do so.”
“Do you believe that while you are away there may be a chance he could try and do so?”
“Seeing as he allowed an imbecilic excuse for a doctor to taint his mind into thinking that I am affected by Briquets. I would say there may be a slight possibility, yes.”
“I see, I understand that you are seeing the local doctor here, is that correct?”
‘What does he mean by seeing?’ You think to yourself in a panic.
“I am, yes.” You respond while Mr. Acunin nods his head.
“I should need to speak with him to find how you are mentally. From our conversation here you seem sound, but I would like to speak with him myself.”
“I see, Doctor Harvey has been nothing but pleasant since the moment I arrived. You should like him greatly.”
“Should I?” He flashes a smile at you and you offer a polite nod in response. Taking a sip from your cup and looking out towards the window.
“There is a major option when it comes to your divorce. You said you have not had contact with your husband nearing a year now, is that true?”
“Yes, despite my best efforts I have not heard anything from him since before I arrived here. He had not even spoken to me before I had left for nearly a week.”
“When did you arrive in Pelican Town?”
“The beginning of spring this same year. I began my treatments nearly a year ago and they were only supposed to last 14 weeks. My husband was supposed to come to speak to the doctor to reevaluate my prognosis.”
“So, your husband is also neglecting your medical treatments as well?”
“That it seems.”
“I see. You met with my associate last week, and I will come see you again when he has found something that we might have of use. When I call upon you again, please have the doctor here as well. I would like him to make statement.” Mr. Acunin began to stand from the couch and gather his things.
“Yes, very good. I will see to it. It was a pleasure Mr. Acunin.”
You began walking him to the door before you spoke.
“Before you go. How exactly did you meet my good friend Robin?”
“Ah, her father was a friend of my father. That is all.” And with that he walked out of the door.
You wonder what kind of news he will bring you when he returns next.
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aro-aizawa · 1 year ago
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stardew valley mods i'd make if my brain didn't melt when i try to understand basic game modding:
krobus dialog overhaul - mostly just his roommate dialog, smth abt it gives me the ick. vaguely feeling aphobic, but likely unintenional.
villager interactions - a lot of the villagers have routines/interactions with other villagers like the sebastian, sam and abigail friend group or penny and maru's bookclub. but we don't really get to see them interact outside of player focused cutscenes, or just vibing together. like if the player gets 4 hearts w penny and maru, they join their bookclub. or a group cutscene on the tuesday yoga classes. also a great opportunity to do smth w the wizard/caroline/abigail thing. abigail being taught magic would be cool as fuck but also make her the most interesting marriage candidate tbh.
related to the top two options: the ability to integrate krobus and the dwarf to the rest of pelican town - the fact that though krobus and the dwarf appear in the relationships tab, they're so static, literally staying in the exact same place unless invited to a movie or become a roommate. fleshing them both out as villagers would be nice, even if its just on the small scale. i feel like abigail would be great friends w krobus or the dwarf.
plausible housing for the unnamed npcs that are employed by joja/movie theatre. what, they just.... live in the building? not even an unenterable house near where the bookseller is stationed? i feel like there should be more npcs that need housing but idk
linus moving his tent regularly - this is just,,,, a minor thing that bugs me but i always make linus my bff in every run, but since he's so attuned to nature i always like the idea of linus moving his tent occasionally to a new area. around the woods in places, near the tide pools, if the player has opened up the secret woods, then in there too, tucked away from slimes.
more sandy content!!!!!! - where does my girl sleep? right behind her counter??? because i see absolutely no door leading to a bedroom. also friendship cutscenes would be cute as fuck, or emily visiting the desert more often than just on her birthday. also trans sandy i will die on this hill.
the ability to order things from robin when she's not at her counter - like if she's off on her tuesday gym get together or w/e you could leave a note at her place w the materials. maybe it might take an extra day or two but i am so tired of remembering on mondays or tuesdays i need to order a building, then having to spend ten minutes in the house waiting for the exact moment she passes her counter. rip.
more remixed community bundles - like the generic mod config menu has been doing amazing work, the ability to use that to set up a custom configuration of bundles would be great. or even an option to have only the remixed bundles, like the seasonal foraging ones are boring, give me more like the medicinal bundle or the sticky bundle. make me have more variety in how i set up my farm and what crops i grow.
more platonic cutscenes!!!! - i wanna be like unofficially adopted by evelyn and george as their grandkid, them tell the player things about their grandpa, and alex is just like :/ guess my grandparents have another grandkid. helping out w gus or smth and together him and the player make a new recipe, fishing w willy and one of you reels in a massive fish. getting lewis to stop needlessly hiding his relationship w marnie bc literally no one would care if they were dating why is this scandalous, you're both unmarried and its not like he exempts her from business tax.
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mamamittens · 6 months ago
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Glad I scaled down my event, already looking at Sunday-Friday next week with an extra hour Monday-Friday. And it's not even Black Friday yet. Or Cyber Monday...
Got in two asks so far, finished uploading the Spooktober fics to AO3, and am already in bed an hour early. Not that I'm going to sleep yet, never works like that when I want it to lol
So! Rambling time!
I had more thoughts about the Omega verse/yandere au with Nikia, Thatch, and Izou!
So, I was thinking about some of the cultural whiplash Nikia experiences in this new world. She has zero context for all these new instincts, nor the assumed instincts people have adopted.
Like, how much contact is appropriate with a stranger and where. Luckily for her, the scent glands are in pretty intimate places already. How often do you touch the base of someone's neck/shoulder? A total stranger at that? So she doesn't usually step on any toes--not that any of the WBP would hold it against her or think too hard about it since they know she's not from their world and is very new to the ABO stuff.
And Nikia has a few unconscious biases about assumed behavior, usually centered around wings, so she's confused a lot by accident. Like, a lot of the time, she doesn't register flirting because she's used to it being accompanied by deliberate displays of the other person's wings. Typically slight flutters, extensions to show off well groomed edges of their feathers, or a hidden display of colors. Or if they're bold, wing contact as soft brushes and puffed up feathers to briefly interlock with the other person's wings. Like grabbing someone's hand and kissing their knuckles--its so intimate and viewed as romantic in her world, but also stupid bold for strangers.
She's even naturally capable odd vocalizations and her pupils act... Very odd sometimes. (Briefly debated how bird like she should be and tbh, I'm giving her more bird eyes than human eyes... She still needs glasses but instead of very close vision like normal, it's because she's got REALLY GOOD distance vision but it's... Really really far distance. Not practical day to day indoors). She pins her eyes a lot without meaning to, so she constantly looks startled and scared, when it's actually the opposite and she's curious or invested! She can coo, chirp, and screech very loudly but hates being so noisy and has learned restraint over the years. Combined with her new Omega instincts, her growls and snarls are... Very piercing and give anyone that hears them pause.
Though only Marco knows about it at first, Nikia's body is also a lot hardier than expected. Meant to handle at least basic flight with modest covering, her skin is pretty durable and doesn't bruise or get pierced easily. Compared to them, where certain parts of their body has thinner skin but they heal up very well with minimal scarring.
Anyway! Social shit!
This divide is made pretty clear when they stop at an island for restocking and there's the obligatory 'threat but not a real threat just a test to the relationship' scene. Fueled by Izou and Thatch being... Well, handsome, famous, Pirate Commanders. They usually have a few hopefuls flirting with them, either hoping for a eventful night or an easy in with the crew. Having a very well scented, new mate does not deter some of them.
A few ladies trying their best to scent their interest and test compatibility by brushing their scent glands (the light ones on the wrists) across theirs. Izou and Thatch ain't having it, concerned that Nikia would flip since she's struggled with territory issues for a while now.
But Nikia is just lost in thought like
Ah, they're pretty confident to get so close to pirates -- I mean, they're great, obviously, but I'm pretty sure pirate still means criminal here. Oh, but they are famous, maybe Whitebeard has a good reputation so this isn't as risky as it seems. They're kinda touchy as fuck though, is everyone this bold or is this desperation? Wait, Izou and Thatch look uncomfortable, should I say something? Do I need to? They don't seem too bothered but they keep looking at me... Weird.
The ladies in question are smug as shit at first, certain that Nikia is threatened by them. But as the 'testing' goes on, they get weirded out by her intense stare and how... Detached she smells. Her scent not communicating anything but polite interest and then mild concern. The boys are equally thrown.
Turns out, being super snappy when other people do light scenting in a social context is a learned behavior. Not ingrained. Marco takes very interested note of that.
But when an alpha tries to flirt with her, doing more or less the same thing as earlier, her literal everything is just looking at him like
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She's leaning away from them, nose wrinkling as the outdoor space no longer diffuses their purposefully flexed scent. Wings snapping close to her back, eyes wide as they try and press harder for a positive response.
Her body language a tad confusing in this context. Pupils flashing rapidly. Her scent potent in confused inquiry.
She seems to be very loudly, without words, asking "What the fuck do you want?" But her body is screaming "You have the sex appeal of a manure farm in summer rain". Very startling.
Luckily, Izou and Thatch are quick to (literally) soothe her feathers and shoo away the stranger. It takes a bit for her to relax again.
Oh! Speaking of wings! It takes a while for her to start instinctively attempting to 'bond' with people. But they have no idea that's what she's doing and she's too thrown by the lack of reciprocation or denial to explain properly.
Mainly, when she starts to feel for them, she instinctively tries to lace her feathers with Izou and Thatch's non existent wings. Only to meet only air. When they're debating someone else, she hovers an open wing behind their back, just shy of touching and is disappointed when she doesn't feel the light push back and settling of wings. When she's startled or anxious, feathers quivering and shuddering out of place, no one idly preens her.
She wasn't the most social, but she's close enough to several people that, had this been her home dimension, they would have done any number of these gestures. But she knows they can't, so she just tried to curb her expectations and disappointment. Much to the bafflement of everyone in scent range cause she's smelling increasingly like a kicked puppy and no one knows why.
Until one day she happens to be taking to Ace when he passes out mid conversation. And she knows the game by now, so she just settled down and waits patiently. Her wing draped over his back as she idly braids his hair. Finally, her original instincts are being soothed, though still not reciprocated. Izou and Thatch both being invested in their personal appearance enough she hadn't gotten the courage to ask.
Ace ends up sleeping for a while and hard at that, feeling oddly settled when he wakes to several braids in his hair and soft feathers over his shoulders. He definitely blushes when she smiles and asks if he rested well.
He did.
Very much so.
Thatch seethes in the background with jealousy and Izou is no better when he hears. Still, they barely manage to control themselves and ask wtf that was about and why she smells so content.
She's embarrassed but is eventually able to explain how big mutual grooming is back home. Even strangers would settle ruffled feathers if someone was having a breakdown.
Thatch immediately offers to preen her feathers and she goes bright red. (Doing it is one thing, but asking is equally romantic and intimate, because usually it implies something more than just sorting out feathers). She caves and they cuddle in her bed (Thatch is so fucking smug to be covered in her scent and leave his own in her space). Thatch encouraging her to lay on his chest while he handles the rest. It's not ideal, which is why she protests, but he reaches a good bit of it all.
Taking the time to play with her hair as she falls asleep absolutely boneless. Later, he stared in the mirror. Izou confused until he breaks down.
"....I want her to play with my hair too~! But--but my style--it cant--i want...." Sad baby hours while Izou rolls his eyes.
"Then do it before bed, dumbass."
Suddenly all is well.
Had the fun idea Nikia was pulled mostly by her hand or maybe soul mates are indicated by glowing bite marks depicting their future mates' teeth and shes yanked by that. And she fights it. Really hard. Izou and Thatch having to physically assist in pulling her through where she fights it the entire way. Luckily for them, she's super out of it once she's pulled through and starting to get hit with Super Puberty. Also really good ears, not that she's in a state to notice anything being said at the time.
Thatch ends up with her hair ribbon and is super normal about it while she recovers. Izou stealing it every other day impatiently.
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