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totowlff · 3 months ago

Text

many fade, but i'm still here

➝ you kept your side of the street clean. they will never know what it means.

➝ word count: 2,2k

➝ warnings: mentions of health issues.

➝ author’s note: you can read the part one here.

The young man sitting in front of the reporters looked uncomfortable. Watching him from a corner of the Mercedes motorhome common area, you could tell he wasn’t at ease in that position. However, he needed to get used to the flashes, the clicks, and especially the attention directed at him.

After all, Andrea Kimi Antonelli was now a Formula 1 driver.

— Kimi, how do you feel being officially a Mercedes driver? — a journalist asked.

— It’s an incredible feeling to be announced as a Mercedes driver alongside George in 2025 — the young man replied in a measured tone — It’s a dream I’ve had since I was little, and even though I’m still learning a lot, I feel ready for this opportunity.

“Of course you do”, you thought to yourself, crossing your arms over your chest. The tests with Kimi had been numerous, with various types of single-seaters, all to make sure of what you had known since the day you first saw him in Lonato del Garda, back in 2018.

— I want to thank the team for the support they've given me in my career so far and for the faith they’ve shown in me — the young man added, scanning the crowd of people present. His eyes finally landed on you — If it wasn’t for the trust Y/N and Toto placed in me, I wouldn’t be here, living this dream.

Your lips curled into a smile as you nodded in acknowledgment of the new driver’s words. Handing him over to Mercedes had been a desperate move on your part, made in the face of Ferrari’s stunning refusal to bring Kimi onboard, contradicting everything discussed in the previous meetings before his visit to Maranello.

However, you couldn’t live with yourself knowing you had crushed the dreams of such a talented boy like Kimi. He deserved that chance, and if you couldn’t give it to him, let Mercedes be the team to do so.

— Toto, what are your impressions of this new duo, which we could say is the first composed of athletes from the Mercedes academy? — a blonde woman asked.

— Our new pairing is perfect to open the next chapter of our history. It’s also proof of the strength of our junior driver program and our belief in homegrown talent — the team principal replied, turning to the young man next to him with a smile — Kimi has consistently demonstrated the talent and speed necessary to compete at a high level in our sport.

Placing a hand on the driver’s shoulder, you noticed there was a certain pride in Toto’s voice, as well as in his expression. And, in a way, it was justified, considering all the energy and resources invested in Kimi’s development. Toto was seeing, right there in that room, that he had made the right choice once again.

— George, could you share your thoughts on your new teammate? — an older journalist asked, hand raised — What can we expect from this partnership?

— I’m excited to have him as my teammate. His results in junior competitions are impressive, and his promotion is completely deserved — the Brit responded — He’s a fantastic young talent and has also been part of our driver academy. I hope I can use my own experience to help him in this step into Formula 1.

“I have no doubt you will”, you thought, searching for Kimi with your eyes. It was impossible not to notice how anxious he seemed. His attention shifted between the two men beside him and the beaded bracelet on his wrist, almost tiny compared to the team watch. It was easy to forget that he was just an 18-year-old boy — newly turned 18, in fact — taking his first steps into adulthood.

The press conference continued smoothly, with the occasional light-hearted comment from Toto, clearly trying to help Kimi relax in front of all those people. But you knew it wasn’t easy, even for someone older and more seasoned in these environments, like yourself.

When Bradley wrapped up the press conference, you noticed Kimi exhale in relief, as if trying to release all the tension. As the journalists left the motorhome, you approached the young man, who was listening attentively to Toto.

— Nice answers, kid — you said, placing a hand on his shoulder. When he realized it was you, he smiled.

— Did I do well?

— Really well. A true Mercedes driver.

A little chuckle escaped his lips.

— I’m glad you liked it, Mrs. Wolff — Kimi replied, making your cheeks warm up.

— For you, it’s Y/N, okay? No ‘Mrs. Wolff’.

— Is there something wrong with my last name, Mrs. Wolff? — Toto asked, raising an eyebrow.

— No, I just think he should call me the same as always.

— Kimi’s just being respectful to my wife — he retorted, moving closer to you and slipping a hand around your waist.

It was still surreal to you. The night after the unexpected meeting you’d had at the hotel bar, you two had gone out for dinner. But, unlike what you had expected, Toto had turned the supposed negotiation for a position in the driver academy management into something more intimate and personal. The exchanged glances and suggestive comments had eventually turned into a kiss at the end of the night, as well as an invitation for another dinner, this time in Monaco.

It didn’t take long before you ended up in his bed, as well as on the Mercedes payroll. Maurizio had tried, but Toto had already convinced you to leave Ferrari behind and dive headfirst into his project, both for the young drivers and for your lives together.

The marriage was a natural step, taking place in an intimate ceremony in Sardinia two years later. Before Toto and a dozen guests, you became Y/N Wolff to the world. But that didn’t mean you had stopped being responsible for the boys and girls in the junior categories.

— Before that, I’m the development advisor for this team’s young drivers.

— Well, it was more or less at the same time — Toto muttered, making you shake your head.

— You’re not helping, Torger.

— Damn — he replied, causing everyone around to burst into laughter.

The conversation went on for a few more minutes before Bradley invited the four of you to head up to the terrace of the motorhome to take some more pictures and record a few interviews for the company’s official channels. However, while Toto was being photographed talking to Kimi, you felt your phone vibrate.

"Your results are available," read the subject of the email you had just received.

Pressing your lips together, you unlocked your phone and clicked on the envelope icon on the screen. There was a strange tension building in your shoulders, a sense of anticipation you knew you shouldn’t have, especially considering what the tests you’d taken were about.

The discomfort you had been feeling over the last few weeks had led you to schedule an appointment with your general practitioner before leaving for Monza. It seemed to be just a severe cold, likely due to the sudden temperature changes during your travels. However, he had you take some basic blood tests to ensure there was nothing wrong.

As you read through the sequence of complicated names, "normal levels" and "negative," one title made you roll your eyes. "Why a pregnancy test?", you wondered as you scrolled down. It was obvious that would never happen — the malformation in your uterus, discovered when you were a teenager, had ended any possibility of you having your own family.

Until a single underlined word made your heart skip.

You felt the blood drain from your head, leaving only the echo of your pulse pounding in your ears. Air seemed not to reach your lungs, no matter how hard you tried to breathe. Your legs felt weak, as did the rest of your body.

— Y/N! — you heard someone shout before everything went dark.

When you opened your eyes again, there was no sun or clouds above you, only a gray ceiling and a fluorescent light. On your left side, a man in a white coat, apparently a circuit doctor, was checking your blood pressure with a serious expression, while someone outside your line of sight was stroking your head.

— Where... I — you mumbled, trying to get your bearings.

— I’m here, my love, I’m here — Toto said, leaning in to look at you. His eyes were filled with concern.

You blinked a few times as your husband murmured something you didn’t pay attention to. The words you had read on your phone’s screen were burned into your mind, echoing back and forth in your head.

The doctor removed the blood pressure cuff and slung it around his neck.

— It seems to be due to the heat — he said, looking first at the team principal and then at you — It’s important to stay hydrated and avoid being outside during the hottest hours.

You opened your mouth to respond, but Toto was quicker.

— Yes, we’ll be more careful about that, won’t we, my love?

You couldn’t speak. You just nodded, still a bit dazed. The doctor also recommended getting you something to eat to help you recover, which Toto assured would be done right away.

After the doctor left the room, you stared at the ceiling for several long seconds in silence, trying to process everything that had just happened. Sitting beside you, your husband brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his worry still evident.

— Are you feeling better? — Toto asked softly.

— Yes — you replied — Did I faint?

He nodded.

— Everyone was scared. No one realized you weren’t feeling well before — the team principal said — If it hadn’t been for Rosa, you might’ve hit your head on the ground, and it could’ve been much worse, but the doctor said it was the heat...

Toto’s words were lost in the whirlwind of thoughts swirling in your head. Seeing him talk about what had happened, the care he was taking with the situation, filled your chest with something warm and familiar.

— It wasn’t the heat — you murmured.

— What? But the doctor said...

— Toto, I got the results from those tests I took on Monday.

He blinked, processing the information for a few seconds.

— Is it serious?

You smiled gently.

— We’ll find out in nine months.

The concern on Toto’s face turned to shock. His mouth dropped open, and he hesitated for a few moments before asking the question you had been waiting so long to answer.

— Are you... Pregnant?

— Yes — you finally said, with tears streaming down your temples.

A disbelieving laugh escaped his lips, his brown eyes shining with emotion.

— But how? You told me about your malformation, the nearly zero chance of conceiving naturally, the whole issue with treatment and risk...

— I know, I know, but I did the test and... Oh my God — you paused, trying to take in the enormity of the moment. After years of dreaming about something you could never have, trying to heal that pain with your work in junior categories, you were going to fulfill the desire that had so often brought you to tears before sleep.

— We’re going to have a baby, Y/N — Toto said, as if he knew the affirmation that was repeating itself in your mind.

Nodding, you placed your hands on your husband’s face and pulled him into a sweet kiss, just like everything that was about to come into your lives. A life of diapers, toys, and a love you had never stopped wishing for, not even for a second.

You were still hugging when you heard a knock on the door. After being invited in, a pair of familiar brown eyes peeked through the gap.

— Toto — Kimi said quietly. When the team principal looked at him, the young man hesitated — Are you crying? Did something happen? Is Y/N okay?

You smiled, sitting up slowly on the sofa.

— Yes, I’m fine — you replied, wiping your nose, sniffling.

— You’re both crying — he noted.

— It’s just that we got some news — Toto began, sitting beside you.

You noticed Kimi’s expression shift to something resembling concern, his lips pressed into a thin line.

— And what is it?

You and Toto exchanged glances with a shadow of a smile on your lips.

— Well, we weren’t supposed to say anything just yet, but I guess it’s okay if it’s you...

Kimi moved closer and crouched in front of you, resting an arm on the side of the sofa.

— Is it bad?

— No, dear, it’s not — you replied, looking to the team principal, giving him a cue to continue.

— It’s just that Y/N is expecting a baby.

His eyes widened.

— Sei serio? — he asked in Italian.

Nodding, you confirmed the news.

— Cazzo, that’s amazing! — Kimi exclaimed, breaking into a wide grin before pulling you into a tight hug.

— No swearing, Kimi — you said, pulling away from him — You know you can’t say things like that, especially now.

— Sorry, mamma — he replied playfully. Your nurturing attitude toward the junior drivers had never gone unnoticed by them. Your care and attention, even off the track, had made you a safe harbor, not to mention a maternal figure. It wasn’t unusual for one of them to be at your house, whether for a quick visit or a weekend before competing at a nearby track.

— She’s right, Kimi, you need to watch your language. You have to be a good example for the younger ones — Toto said, placing a hand on your belly — Especially now.

— I will, you can count on it — the young man replied, with the enthusiasm of someone who had just found out he was going to have a younger sibling.

And you couldn’t wait to see him embrace that role.

#toto wolff #wlffog #formula 1 fic #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #formula 1 fanfic #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #toto wolff x reader #toto wolff fluff #toto wolff fanfic #formula 1 one shot #f1 one shot #formula one fic #formula one fanfic

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sunny44 · 1 year ago

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All these years (Part 1)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Ex girlfriend! Reader

Warnings: anxiety attack, fights, brake ups and maybe other things.

Summary: Separated by a disagreement, Charles and Y/n meet again after years apart and all the feelings they had repressed come flooding back.

Next Chapter

Having to go back to Monaco was certainly not in my plans.

I had sworn to myself the day I left that I would never go back, but I had never actually kept that promise.

His family lives there and I've never been able to stop seeing them. Of course, I made them promise never tell him that I was still visiting them and they kept their promise.

I know this because I never received a call or an angry message.

Charles Marc Harvé Perceval Leclerc.

My first everything.

And I mean that in the literal sense of the word.

My first friend, my first kiss, my first boyfriend, the guy I had my first time with.

But most importantly.

My first and only true love.

When I moved to the house next to them, we connected as soon as we were introduced to each other.

We never had many friends because we knew we had everything we needed in each other.

He was the best boyfriend a girl could ask for.

But one thing about him was wrong.

His lack of understanding at times.

Charles was always a calm, fun guy who could make my shitty day 100% better.

But in March 10th, 2018.

That was the day everything we had went down the drain.

Charles was focused on getting his first year in Formula 1 off to a good start and I was focused on getting a job since I had just graduated from architecture school.

And I received the best offer a recent graduate could get.

It was an internship at an architecture firm.

The problem was that it was in Milan and Charles and I lived in Monaco and because of Formula 1 he wasn't going to leave.

I remember exactly the day I went to tell him excitedly that I'd got one of the best jobs I could ever want.

But Charles, contrary to what I thought, didn't have the best reaction, in fact he was very upset that the job wasn't in Monaco.

That's when our fights started, me because he didn't understand how important he was to me and an offer I couldn't refuse.

And him for saying that I'd ruined all our plans.

That day we'd had a bad fight, but the next day when I went to talk to him to try and sort it out, we fought again.

He said that I was the worst person he had ever met, that I would be a horrible wife and that our children would be ashamed to have a mother like me.

That day I cried so much that I had a horrible anxiety attack and had to go to hospital because of shortness of breath.

And he never showed up.

From that day on we never saw each other again, five years passed and here I was returning to Monaco for the wedding of Arthur, Charles' younger brother.

He and Carla were getting married after a year of being engaged and I remember how happy I was when he called to tell me that she had accepted and thanked me for helping him choose the ring.

I knew I would meet him there, I just didn't know if I was ready to see him.

Even more so in a situation like this.

"So, are you ready to see Charles?" Kika sits on the bed while I pack the last of my clothes.

"Certainly not, but what choice do I have?"

"You could have chosen not to go."

"I couldn't do that to Arthur, he was the only one who always supported me in everything, unlike his brother." I sighed, remembering him. "And I want to go, I want to see him marry the love of his life."

"I understand, and I know he'll love that you're going."

"But one day it would happen, we have so many things and people that keep us connected, so it took a while to happen."

"But you'll be fine."

"I know."

"Why are you getting so many clothes?"

"Because I don't know how long I'll have to stay there."

"What do you mean?" she asks confused.

"Because my father always convinces me to stay longer than I want to."

"I see."

"Well, I have to go soon, it's a long drive to get there."

We said goodbye and I got straight into the car and started driving there.

It was going to be a long trip.

Bonus scene!

Yourusername Instagram stories

“Road tripping to Monaco”

Who wants to be on the tag list of these new story? I've already got it all written so I plan to post a chapter a day until it's finished.

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kanmom51 · 8 months ago

Note

I’ve read theories that Jimin and JK split up at some point in 2018 as well as mid 2019, late 2019/2020, basing this off certain moments in Run BTS, JM travelling without JK in the summer 2019, the rumours, the behind the scenes of ON and Black Swan and the Grammys in 2020.

I know they have tense moments and to me that makes them real, all couples fight. But do you think there is any truth to just how bad it got that they broke up?

Thanks

Hey love.

I will start by saying this is my opinion I am voicing here. Based on full original content I have watched. Full episodes or clips.

I think that these assumptions or conclusions people came to based on a couple of few seconds moments we see in clips are problematic to say the least.

Let's start with that word - split up or break up. That is a very heavy term. I don't know what your relationship experience is (I just mention this because I don't know if you are single, have had a long term loving relationship, are in one or otherwise), but a long term healthy relationship usually does not include multiple break ups. A break up has a finality to it. Parting ways. Calling quits. Dissolving the relationship or ending it. And taking a step like that again and again and again, well that would take a toll on the relationship itself over time.

Also, breaking up, a love as strong as what we think these two have, it would show. Much more than what people think they see as evidence for such a breakup.

And when I say show, I mean more like what we saw back in September 2016 in what people love to call the Manila fight. The level of distance, clear anger and displeasure with the other, unhappiness that you can see in their expressions when they are not on stage or attempting to be professional, and this not being on one day, one clip, one event alone, but spread over a period of time.

And may I add that this happened pretty much in the relatively early days of their relationship, not 3 or 4 or 5 years in. The longer the relationship, the stronger the relationship, the deeper the relationship, the harder and more painful the break up.

And you see, this is the thing.

Healthy long term relationships aren't like a soap opera. Their real lives are not The bold and the beautiful, getting together 'love of their lives' style, then breaking up, marrying someone else, only to get back together and so forth time after time. Real life isn't like that. A relationship, a healthy one, cannot survive that constant turn on turn off. And it's even harder to turn on turn off in the speed that people are attributing to them. Love is not a switch you can turn on and off. And 2 people that supposedly love each other and basically can't keep their hands off each other moments before or moments after that supposed few second moment that makes people think they are not together anymore, is not realistic to say the very least.

And as far as I can see, their relationship is not a tumultuous one. Quite the opposite (especially once they got over that push and pull in 2015-16).

Now, with saying all that, couples, they argue, they fight, they wake up one morning in a bad mood, they allow external factors to influence their mood and at times their interactions with their loved one. Life happens. And these are a real life couple, even if they are 2 members of BTS, the biggest band in the world.

Not every argument or fight ends in the finality of a break up. Not every time you are mad at your partner or even pissed to the bone at them, do you split up.

As individuals we can have bad days. And that can affect our behaviour even towards those we love. Human interactions is what it is.

So, could we catch them unhappy with each other on camera from time to time?

Of course we can.

Can we see them being passive aggressive with each other? Mad at the other? Just unhappy or mad period (not necessarily at the other but in a bad mood that effects their interactions with anyone and everyone around them)?

Of course we can.

None of that is automatically proves a break up. None of it.

A couple of examples of instances we KNOW that one of them was pissed at the other.

Summer package 2018, the dream catcher necklace drama.

Basically JM pissed at JK not wanting to wear it as a necklace and guess who had that necklace on a second later...

And what about the NJ live 2019? JK pissed that JM and Jin turned off the live just as he got to Jin's room, starting his own live to show us that JM came to ask for forgiveness after being scolded by JK.

Neither relationship ending differences (although that could also depend on the relationship I guess), but examples of 'arguments' or differences they had that we know of because they either happened on camera or they told us of them themselves.

Another time we see them clearly upset at each other is the Gayo song festival Dec 2016. Clearly something going on, but we don't know what.

And here too, only days after the event, all was well between them, JK making his babe laugh while imitating Rainism's dance moves.

Point being, once again - yes they argue, get mad at each other (and 2016 was peak push and pull between the two, laying the grounds for their relationship), but from there to calling quits... nope.

And there would be many other moments we are unaware of. Cause that's just how relationships are. Loving each other doesn't mean agreeing on every single thing. It would many times mean compatibility (for a long term relationship to last), but compatibility doesn't mean being a mould of each other.

Now specifically to the examples you mention:

2018 Jikook were stronger than ever. This is after their Tokyo trip, which they just would not shut up about. You can see them in interviews, in award shows, in other footage from that time (including BV 3 in Malta). I really do not understand where these rumours of a break up at that time are coming from.

Saying that, I am aware that there are those that think that part of the struggles the members were going through in 2018 that almost let to them disbanding also included JM and JK splitting up. I beg to differ. At least from the content we have from 2018 (I don't claim to have inside info going back to 2018 and the status of their relationship). I actually believe that having each other during that time made it easier for them to deal with the hardships (kind of like how JK being by JM's side helped him deal with everything he was going through in 2020, and JM being there, as much as he could under the circumstances, for JK who was struggling early 2023). Throughout the content (official and unofficial) from 2018, start to end, we see how close and utterly in love they are with each other.

See beginning to mid 2018 Jikook interactions in my 2018 timeline.

And things were no different in the second half of the year.

All this happened in 2018:

youtube

Could they have had ups and downs?

Of course they could have. All long term relationships have those, even the best of them. But again, split up or broken up? Nope, not in my opinion.

Then we have the 2019 break up claims.

I think that if JK and JM were not together in 2019 during the time the band were on a break that JM wouldn't have made the effort and flown all the way back to see him for his birthday, nor would JK tattoo that J over the M right after that.

I think that JM going on those trips was them allowing each other that time to spend with their friends doing the things they want to do on their time off. That's what you call a healthy relationship btw. Allowing each other to grow as an individual, spend time with your friends, travel cause that's what you love to do, something that we learnt back in 2018 Malta that isn't something that JK really loved to do back in the day - could have changed, as people grow and change, but at the time didn't really interest him (perhaps especially seeing it wouldn't be the two of them alone).

We know from Hobi and JK that it's not like the two (JK and JM) weren't seeing each other or getting together over the break. It's only that JM went travelling and JK didn't.

And btw, these three were basically the only ones that did see each other over the break. If indeed the two broke up, would they be spending that time that they can together and not apart? Choosing to get together when they aren't obliged to do so being part of the band and having to work with each other?

And again, looking at 2019, before and after the break, the two seem stronger than ever. 2019 muster before, for example.

Damn that pic limit, I could go on with these forever.

And right after we had BV4,

And their final Seoul concerts October 2019.

Next you also mentioned the behind scenes of the Black swan MV shoot as an example used to claim that JM and JM were not together at the time.

Another good example to show you how this conclusion making is so ridiculous. They are literally taking one little moment from that MV shoot and creating a whole breakup narrative, all while from the same MV shoot we have the two full on having a flirt fest in front of our salads. Including that whole JM calling I love you to JK and him turning around all giddy-bashful.

SAME MV SHOOT.

Then you mention Grammy's 2020. First I've heard of them being broken up during that period. But let's look at what we have either from same night or the days before and after.

James Corden carpool karaoke January 2020. JM's excitement with JK's vocals and JK's incapable of keeping his eyes off JM.

Grammy's night

That moment there.

And for those that claim it isn't JM JK is looking at, well who's wittle nose is that turned towards JK?

Nope. No broken up couple detected.

I Heart Radio

Someone holding on real tight to his man.

When exactly did they have time to break up, with all the shit that entails with a break up and then get back together like nothing happened, all lovey dovey and hot for each other?

I will tell you when I find these rumours of breakup happen.

They happen when there isn't much group content and the two of them don't volunteer much, such as telling us about them spending time together or interacting on social media with each other (surprise surprise when two people are together that they don't interact on sm, even more so their public accounts). And god forbid they are seen with others out and about instead with each other. That for sure means they are not together anymore. Eye roll. Eye roll. Eye roll.

Bottom line, you're probably saying "about bloody time"...

In my opinion all this talk about multiple break ups (and btw, same people claiming a break up in early 2022 and then 2023) is a whole load of bs. Arguments, no doubt. Bad day, 100%. We all have those. But breaking up or even, if you wish to soften it a little by calling it "taking a break" - nope. I personally do not believe this to be the case.

#Jikook #Koookmin #Minkook #Jungkook #Jimin #JK #JM

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guccixstyless · 1 month ago

Text

Intern (Pt. 4)

Author’s Note: My lovies, I want to sincerely apologize for delaying so much. This series started in 2018 then I started getting busy with university and other problems, I didn't know how to continue Part 4 of the series after keeping it hanging for years. I got major writer's block and lost motivation to continue. But I've been getting so many requests to continue this, so the last week I brainstormed a lot and came up with this. I lost my writing charm, so I'm very nervous posting this after these many years. I truly hope you enjoy this, Intern Series will have 2 more chapters before the ending. Thank you for sticking through, I love you all so much. xx

Word Count: 3033 words

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Masterlist

***********************************************************

You reached Manchester by catching the earliest flight with Harry.

The whole plane ride he was panicking and you tried to reassure him everything is gonna be okay.

While in the plane he explained you that he couldn’t have done this alone, he had to bring someone but he cannot bring Camille, since his mum is still pissed at Camille for breaking her son’s heart.

You understood and held his hand in hopes to comfort him.

Gemma had a bad accident and right now she was in coma.

When you reached the airport, Harry looked around as one of Gemma's bestfriend said he's going to pick you both up from the airport.

"Ben," Harry called out weakly and dragged you towards Ben.

"Harry," Ben hugged Harry tightly before saying, "I'm so scared."

You heard Harry sob. You lightly patted on his shoulder.

You both got in Ben's car after Harry briefly introduced both of you.

"How is mum," Harry spoke, sniffing lightly.

"She's been crying non-stop, H, I'm worried about Anne.."

After reaching the hospital, Harry quickly rushed to the floor where his sister was.

He saw his mum, Michal and his grandma waiting in the visitor lounge.

"Harry," his mum quickly got up from his seat and rushed towards her youngest child.

"Mum, it's gonna be okay, alright? Gem's so strong, she will wake up," Harry said hopefully, hugging his mum tightly.

"I'm so scared baby," Anne sniffled.

The doctor came out of Gemma's room and Harry walked towards him, desperately asking him, "how is she? When is she gonna wake up?"

"Unfortunately, it was a serious accident, she lost a lot of blood, she also suffered mild brain stroke, we're trying our best." doctor assured him.

"Harry, take a seat dear," his grandma softly called out to him.

Harry walked towards her and kissed her forehead, his grandma spoke again, "and who is this pretty lady here?"

Harry looked at you before saying, "Y/N, please come here."

You walked towards them, seating in the empty seat beside Harry.

Harry took your hand and his other hand was intertwined with his grandma, "Granny, this is Y/N, my bestfriend, and Y/N, this is my beautiful grandmother," he said before placing a kiss on his grandma's knuckles.

"Also his forever love," his grandma said laughing lowly.

Harry chuckled before saying, "that's true!"

"It's so nice to meet you," you kindly replied, "H, you stay with her, I'm gonna go check on your mum, okay?"

Harry nodded slightly smiling.

You walked up to Anne, she was staring into space, a light frown between her eyebrows, that resembled Harry so much.

"Hello, Anne, may I call you that?"

She seemed to break from her stance and looked at you smiling softly, "of course my dear, you must be Y/N? Ben mentioned you were accompanying Harry."

"Yes I am, I'm so sorry this happened, but I know it'll be alright again, Gemma will be back to being healthy again."

"I so hope so my love, I wish we met under different circumstances, Harry talked so much about you, I was hoping to meet you someday, not like this though," she said sadly.

You hugged her. Also you were flattered, Harry talked about you? He probably talks about all his friends, don't be so dramatic, you thought to yourself.

You looked over at Harry, he was hugging Michal.

You looked back at Anne before saying, "did you eat anything?"

You saw her shaking her head no.

"This is not right, you have to come with me right now to the canteen and have something, alright?"

Anne tried to protest but you cut her off, "no excuses, you have to eat, imagine how bad Gemma will feel if she wakes up and hears you starved yourself."

"You're not going to take no for an answer, are you?"

"Nah-uh," you replied, she chuckled before agreeing with you.

"Hey Harry?" You called out to him, he approached you both, smiling at how you and his mum were hugging each other.

"Yes?"

"I'm gonna take Anne to the canteen, she hasn't ate anything!"

"Mum, that's not right, go eat something, and don't worry we will be here," Harry said.

"Harry, mate you had a long flight, you also go with them and have coffee or something," Michal said.

"But-"

"Yeah go, we will be here, don't worry," Ben assured him.

"Okay then, grandma, will you join us?"

"No dear, you guys go, I'll be here."

"Let's go."

****************************************************

You spotted an empty table and made your way towards it.

You asked Anne what would she like to have, "just coffee and a sandwich will be fine."

"and H, you?"

"Y/N, you sit, I'll bring the food," Harry said.

"No, shut up, you sit here, I got this."

He started to protest again but you sprinted away before saying, "no need, I know what you'll order anyway."

Harry shook his head chuckling.

"Harry, she's wonderful," Anne gushed.

"She is," he agreed.

You brought the tray of food over and passed on to Anne and Harry before taking your coffee cup.

"Thank you dear," Anne smiled at you.

"You're most welcome," you replied smiling.

After eating quickly, you three returned to Gemma's floor.

You saw, Michal talking with the doctor. Seeing his demeanor it seemed stressful.

The doctor returned back to the room, Michal approached you guys before saying, "they're saying she might lose her memories as well," Michal had tears welled up his eyes.

Anne hugged him, Harry slumped before taking a deep breath.

You looked over around the room and your heart broke seeing all of them at this state.

Soon enough it was getting late and Anne suggested you and Harry take his grandma and go back to Harry's childhood home.

You both agreed and once you arrived at his place, you quickly settled the grandma at her room. Then Harry showed you your guestroom. He told you several times to make yourself at home and feel free to grab snacks or beverages from the kitchen whenever you want.

After taking a quick shower, you came downstairs to drink some tea, in the kitchen you saw Harry staring off at space, the kettle's sound confirmed he was making tea.

"Hey H," you said softly, going up to him and putting your head on his shoulder.

"Hi," he replied, "you want some tea?"

"Yes please," you answered.

He quickly made you both cups of tea, he went on to sit beside you.

"She's going to be fine, right?" he asked quietly.

"H, yes, I fully believe she will be fine, it might take some time, but she will be healthy again."

"I-i can't lose her," he sniffled.

"H, hey look at me," you cupped his face to make him look at you.

The low light in the kitchen made his emerald eyes so stunning, but the sadness made you want to hug him and protect him.

You got lost in his eyes, he was so beautiful, so ethereal.

"Y/N?" He spoke, breaking you from your stance.

"Sorry, yeah listen to me mister, your sister will fight and will be back to us real soon, I can't wait to meet her and together we can bully you," you smirked.

Harry chuckled, "yeah you both will get along well."

"Hmm," you slowly let go of his face and started sipping your tea.

You felt so strongly about him and it pained you that you couldn't do anything, he has a girlfriend afterall.

You sighed and told him you're going back to your room.

*************************************************

Ben chuckled at the tour incident that you were telling him.

"That's really funny though," Ben said sipping his coffee.

"Just one of the many stories," you chuckled shrugging.

You guys were at the hospital, just you, Harry and Ben. Anne and Michal went back home to get some rest and freshen up.

The doctor came out of Gemma's room and he looked hopeful, Harry sprinted towards him and the doctor informed him, Gemma is showing a lot of progress, it was a miracle.

You all sighed in relief.

"I'm gonna call mum," Harry said smiling.

Ben looked over to you and asked, "now since the tour is over, I'm guessing so is your internship?"

"Yeah, I wish it lasted forever though, it didn't feel like work."

"Yeah I bet, Harry is a really chill guy," he said.

"He is!"

"Would you be interested working in London? My brother works at a fashion company, I can hook you there?"

"That sounds wonderful, well if it works out then why not?!"

"Great! I'll tell him 'bout you then."

Harry comes back and sees you both chuckling, you both were getting in his nerve, he wished only you and him were here not Ben. You're his bestfriend, he won't let Ben steal you.

"Ben, if you want you can go back home to rest," Harry said politely.

"Nah man, it's okay, beside I got great company." He smiled looking at you.

You shyly smiled back.

Harry felt his blood boil. He saw how well you and Ben got along and it made him upset. He opened his phone and saw Camille's text, she asked about Gemma's condition and Harry started typing a reply.

***************************************************

After few weeks Gemma recovered well. She fortunately didn't lose her memory as doctors feared so now she's in her recovery phase.

In these few weeks Harry rescheduled the tour dates, so your internship will drag on two more months. You also bonded well with Ben. Harry showed you his favourite places in his hometown. Overall it felt nice.

Currently you all were sitting in Gemma's room at Anne's place. You sat beside Ben in the sofa while Gemma sat on her bed, head relaxing on the bed's headboard. Anne was feeding her fruits and Harry sat beside her. Laughter filled the room while you all were talking. You and Gemma got along well, and you were staying in Anne's guestroom, you wanted to book a hotel but ofcourse Harry and Anne didn't let you.

Ben joked about something and Harry rolled his eyes. Harry was pissed nowadays with Ben. Especially seeing you and Ben bonding was something he despised. Normally he wants his loved ones and friends to get along but this one didn't feel right. He was more annoyed with how close you and Ben sat, like personal space please?

"Hey Harry, let's talk?" You asked him.

"Yeah sure," he said getting up from bed and following behind you in the living room.

"What's up?" Harry asked.

"I think I'll catch a flight tomorrow to Paris, Lambert wants me to go over some designs." You said.

"What? No you're going with me, I'll leave in 3 days," Harry protested.

"That's too long! I don't think Lambert will agree, I did some work online, but I have to be present there," you said.

"Okay then I'm coming with you," he decided.

"What? No, you stay here with your family."

"It's fine, I need to go anyway for the show," he shrugged.

"No, stay!"

"I can't leave you alone, you accompanied me, so I need to make sure to be on the same flight as you." He stubbornly said.

Ben interrupted coming into the living room, "I can accompany you Yn."

"You guys need to chill, I can travel alone, been doing it all along" you chuckled at the two men.

"No Yn, it's fine. I was planning a trip anyway," Ben said, "I'll be happy to accompany you, it'll be fun."

"Okay if you insist," you sighed but happily agreed.

Harry was shocked, that easy for Ben?

Later that night when you're packing in you room, Harry entered with two cups of tea.

"Hey," you smiled at him.

"Hi sweets," he smiled back handing you a cup.

"Ah thank you, I needed this," you smiled gratefully.

"So, done packing?"

"Yeah almost."

You sat on your bed, sipping the tea Harry had brought, trying to avoid the tension that hung in the air like a heavy storm cloud. You could feel his eyes on you, the silence thick between you two as the room felt smaller by the second. You’d been avoiding this conversation for days now, but it was inevitable. You knew it, he knew it.

"So, you and Ben, huh?" Harry finally asked, his voice laced with a quiet anger you couldn’t quite place.

You froze mid-sip, setting the cup down slowly on your nightstand. You couldn’t ignore the tightness in your chest, the nervous flutter in your stomach. "What about us?" you asked, looking up at him cautiously. His eyes were already on you, the familiar warmth in them now replaced by something darker.

He shrugged but there was no mistaking the edge in his tone. "I just don’t get it. You two seem… really close lately. It’s just weird."

You tried to laugh it off, but it came out forced. "Harry, we’re just friends, alright? He’s your cousin, for god's sake."

Harry clenched his jaw, stepping further into the room, his eyes never leaving you. "Yeah, well, that’s the problem, isn’t it? He’s always around. And you two are—" He gestured vaguely in the air, clearly frustrated, the words stuck on his tongue.

You raised an eyebrow, irritation creeping in. "What, Harry? You don't want me to get along with your cousin now? What’s the issue?"

He paced a few steps in the small room, running a hand through his hair. "You don’t get it. It’s not just that. It’s how much time you’re spending together. You know, like the way you guys sit so close, how you’re always laughing at each other's stupid jokes—" He stopped and turned to face you. "And then you just let him walk in here and offer to travel with you like it’s no big deal. Do you have any idea how that makes me feel?"

Your heart began to race. Was this really about Ben? Or was there something else?

You stood up, the anger bubbling in your chest now too, your voice rising. "I don’t need you to make decisions for me, Harry. I’m not a child. I don’t need you to dictate who I spend time with. Ben’s a good guy, and I’m fine with him being there for me. If I want him there. You’re the one acting like I’m doing something wrong."

Harry’s eyes flashed with frustration, and you could see the hurt in them too. He shook his head, taking a few steps closer, his voice quieter now but still heavy with emotion. "I’m not trying to control you, Yn. I just—I don’t like seeing you so close to him. Don’t you get it? It’s just… it doesn’t sit right with me."

A pit opened up in your stomach, the words you had been holding back for so long suddenly spilling out before you could stop them. "You’re jealous, Harry," you said, the words tasting bitter on your tongue. "You’re jealous because you think something’s going on between me and Ben, when really, it’s just… friendship."

He flinched like you’d slapped him, his face falling. "I’m not jealous. I just care about you. You’re my best friend. You think I don’t want you to be happy? But this whole situation is making me crazy, Yn. And I don’t know how to deal with it."

You stared at him, the hurt and anger mixing in your chest, twisting into something almost unbearable. You didn’t know how to make him understand without sacrificing a part of yourself. "Harry," you said, trying to keep your voice steady, "I am happy. But you need to get over the fact that I’m allowed to be happy with other people too. You’re with Camille. You’re dating her. Why are you so bent out of shape about me and Ben?"

He stepped back, his face going pale. "This is about more than Ben," Harry muttered, his voice breaking slightly. "It’s about you and me, Yn. I’m not ready to lose you. And I don’t think I can just watch you go on without me, like it’s nothing. It hurts."

The words hit you like a punch to the gut. You stared at him, lost. "You think I’m just going to forget about you? Is that what you think? Because you’re dating Camille, you think I’m supposed to just—"

"That’s not what I mean!" Harry cut you off, his frustration boiling over. "I just don’t want you to think that I’m fine with you replacing me with someone else. With Ben." His voice cracked at the end, the emotion raw and unfiltered.

The silence that followed was thick and suffocating. You both stood there, words stuck in your throats, unable to bridge the gap that had suddenly opened between you. You felt the tears welling up in your eyes, but you refused to let them fall. This wasn’t about tears. This was about trust. About needing space and respect for each other’s choices.

"You know what, Harry?" you said, your voice shaking slightly, "I need to go. I need to get away from this for a while." You grabbed your bag from the floor, stuffing it with the last of your things, barely able to keep yourself together. "I can’t stay here and keep dealing with this. I’m going to Paris tomorrow, and I don’t need to be reminded of what’s wrong here every second."

"Yn, please," Harry’s voice was strained, desperate almost, as he stepped toward you. "Don’t do this. I don’t want to lose you."

You shook your head, not trusting your own voice. "You are losing me, Harry," you whispered, fighting back the tears. "But not the way you think."

You walked past him, the door of the room open, your heart aching as you turned back to look at him one last time. His face was a mixture of confusion and pain, but you couldn’t fix it. Not right now.

Without another word, you stepped out of the room and left the house.

And as you made your way to the car, the air felt colder, the distance between you both unbridgeable for the first time.

----------------------------------

Taglist: @ever-since-the-kilt @pxrrishly @jld20047 @thecraziestcrayon @emma1998sblog @lovrrysworld-ally @jackiehollanderr @sassamanda77

#harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles writings #harry styles fanfic #harry styles tour #one direction

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moonchild-in-blue · 3 months ago

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Hey guys... So like. Did we know that before Thom Pike was a tour manager, he was a drummer in a band (Falling With Style) with 3/4 guys who would later become Holding Absence? Is this common knowledge, or have I stumbled upon gold?

I knew about Sam Hallett being in Blood Youth before working as a tech, and Thom working with them on tour, and I also did know Thom and the HA guys went way back*. But this I didn't know!! How cool!!

* Adamross and the rest of Glass Heart was also already working with him at this time btw. The connections are connecting.

Referring back to that recent post from @sleepanonymous, I am now wondering if George Lever also produced their stuff from before, given he has worked on both early Holding Absence and Sleep Token, and if that's how they all met 👀

(more ramblings bellow the cut, nothing interesting just me being insane. also i just think it's cool how all of these bands and people are connected. nothing more)

So. Timeline of events that I know of:

2015 - Falling With Style ends

2016 - Thom is now a Tour Guy ; Sleep Token and Holding Absence are born ; George Lever is producing for both bands

(and then there's that Carl Bown/B4MV thing somewhere around here)

2018 - Thom has been working as Tour Manager for Holding Absence and Blood Youth ; Adam and the (would-be) Glasses are part of his crew ; Sleep Token is touring with HA and Loathe (also G. Lever prod.) as an opening band ; enter Espera (🥹🥰💕😚💘🤭 this has nothing to with the post but I just like to think about them)

2019 - Thom is officially managing ST (probably 2018 too? idk about before) ; Glass Heart is born (again not entirely relevant but I stay on my GH propaganda always. Adam say thank you baby 💎🩵)

Then we have those collabs etc etc ; Sam leaves the band and becomes a Tech guy ; FTRB ; George stops producing (🥺🥲) ; enter Carl Bown ; ENTERS COOL MF VESSEL THE FOURTH (our ivy)

January 2023 - Sam Hallett joins the fold (🥹💙) ; the first singles of TMBE are released ; World Domination etc etc

#i came across this because i was looking for a specific photo and kinda went on an Instagram rabbit-hole #also this may be super not interesting to anyone but me but i only recently found out Micheal McGough filled in for HA for a while #even more unrelated but he just left being as an ocean and i'm emosh #also! i'm pretty sure one of the early 2017? 18? tours Thom worked on was in support of B4MV so that's also a thing?? i gues ???#to be fair. the uk rock/metal scene seems SUPER close. and given like half of these are Welsh / Welsh-based that's even a smaller circle #idk i'm literally just rambling here don't mind me too much??#(i swear i will get into HA one of these days. just don't have the patience to hear NEW new music rn)#sleep token #(technically)#if anyone is weird (derogatory) on this post i will wet your socks (turn off reblogs)

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phanfictioncatalogue · 1 month ago

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Tour Smut (2) Masterlist

part one

all I want to do is all of it with you (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Dan and Phil are going to stay late at the rehearsal venue to...film. Yeah.

angel and demon (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Dan and Phil go out to a bar dressed in a couple's costume, and Dan is surprised at just how freeing it feels.

(A fic about Halloween 2024, pushing boundaries, and the perils of red hair dye.)

boops! i did it again (ao3) - jonsaremembers

Summary: Phil's newfound confidence calls for a new kind of Halloween costume, and Dan can't resist him.

Domino Effect (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: After years of keeping sex and friendship separate, Dan finds himself on the edge of falling in love.

Drink Me (ao3) - benotafraidofwriting

Summary: Dan can't really handle Phil in shorts.

Guess We'll Try Again Later (ao3) - developerdaniel

Summary: aka the fic where dan and phil attempt to film while on tour in australia but dan has other plans and thanks to him that video never happens and phil has to punish dan for breaking his word on their plans to film

Haunting Us With the Beams (ao3) - yikesola

Summary: These sheets don’t smell like home and the too-bright light of a window they forgot to pull the curtains all the way closed for wakes them up harsher than the moon room ever does, but feeling Phil’s scruff scratch a little with every snore against the sensitive skin of Dan’s neck will always be familiar.

A fic about mornings and daydreamed plans.

Heat (ao3) - blossomsphan

Summary: Phil has eyes for a cute waiter. But Dan only has eyes for Phil.

ironic. (ao3) - Anonymous

Summary: dan and phil now have a luxurious three days to relax and enjoy themselves before their show in san diego. one out of the many activities, phil showcased his newest purchase to dan.

Like You Used To (ao3) - easybubbyy

Summary: The boys go out for drinks with their crew. Dan is a horny and clumsy drunk, and Phil is a goofy and flirty drunk. Smut ensues. Enjoy!

Look in the Mirror (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: As soon as Dan saw the mirrored ceiling in the back lounge of the tour bus, he knew he was in trouble.

Magic Shop (ao3) - your_starless_eyes

Summary: It made sense that Dan would need time to recover from the tour, just the same as Phil. It was logical reasoning.

How was he supposed to know? How was Phil supposed to know that it was, in fact, a bigger issue than he could imagine?

Mile High Club (ao3) - developerdaniel

Summary: aka the fic where dan finds himself horny on their flight to australia and dan hops into phil's lap hoping phil will do something about it.

My 'alone' includes you. (ao3) - KujiraHanma

Summary: Dan and Phil are on their Interactive Introvers 2018 World Tour. Needing a break from the tour (and work) they take a walk along the beach. Phil recognizes that as an introvert, and recharging by being alone, he can recharge with Dan.

Ocean Eyes (ao3) - easybubbyy

Summary: Dan and Phil as they work together on their world tour announcement, reflecting on their long-term partnership on set. The two take turns admiring each other throughout the day, exchanging glances and quiet moments. Both are eager to get home and finally spend some intimate time together, showing each other just how much they mean to one another...

our lips must always be sealed (ao3) - uhmyeah

Summary: dan and phil have silly tour sex

overslept and interrupted (ao3) - thesassykels66

Summary: Dan and Phil "over slept", having them almost miss their tour bus

"that's what makeup is for!" (ao3) - latenightfanfic

Summary: dnp finally have a night alone to themselves in a hotel after a few drinks after being cooped up in a tour bus.

Tight Places (ao3) - adorkablephil (kimberly_a)

Summary: The bunks on the Interactive Introverts tour bus are really small. Inspired by Phil’s latest video, “What Dan and Phil Text Each Other.”

too long (ao3) - Mildredo

Summary: they're horny on tour. that's it that's the fic.

Under the Southern Sun (ao3) - scifi (orphan_account)

Summary: dan and phil make the most of having the rainforest house to themselves

you're the only place I call home (ao3) - t_hens

Summary: With one world tour already under their belts, Phil thought the second one would be a piece of cake, but as they're finishing up the American leg, the exhaustion is settling deep in his bones. He's craving more of their London home than the tiny taste his blue and green pillow can offer him. He can't quite understand why Dan isn't feeling the same homesickness he's experiencing, until he realizes that home has been a little closer than the 5,000 miles away that he thought it was the whole time.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phan #phanfic #phanfiction #dan and phil #masterlists #tour masterlist #tour #smut #sex tw

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katyaromanoffpetrova · 10 months ago

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Masterlist

Thank you for visiting my masterlist! All the oneshots below are connected to my Ghost Series that you can read on Wattpad or AO3. So if you're interested in Kat and Nat's full story, I direct you there :)

I'm currently not writing requests, but maybe in the future I'll open them.

Oneshots

❥ A first (very insecure) Valentine's: It's Natasha's first Valentine's Day with her girlfriend, and she struggles more with the concept of love and romance than she feared | wordcount: 3.9k

❥ It's lights out and away we go: Natasha isn't the only one obsessed with the motorcycle her wife got her. Turns out it's perfect for knocking Katya's ego down a notch as well | wordcount: 1.4k

❥ The only fool on April Fools': Natasha thought she came up with the best prank ever. But she forgot exactly who she was trying to prank | wordcount: 2.7k

❥ Spicy cake: Katya finds a new way to communicate her needs | wordcount: 1.4k

❥ Emoji, questionmark: Katya receives a special text from Natasha, who is very... appreciative of her muscles | wordcount: 3.1k

Series

❥ Is this the end?: Katya is new at SHIELD. When she messes up during her probation, she thinks Fury will send her away. To ease the pain, she distances herself from Nat | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Book canon short scenes

Really short scenes/drabbles that never made it into my books because they didn't fit into a chapter but did happen in the canon storyline.

❥ Thrown in the deep end: Katya doesn't set foot into a swimming pool anymore after some serious trama. Or does she? | wordcount: 1k

❥ Our goddess and savior: Natasha Romanoff: Katya is good at ending up in bad situations. Natasha is good at getting her out of them | wordcount: 1.7k

❥ Inked surprises: What's better than getting tattoos? Surprising your wife with them! | wordcount: 1.4k

❥ 2 + 1 = 3: Maya is six and will be placed in foster care soon, much to Katya's fear and pain, but Natasha has other ideas | wordcount: 1.4k

Alternative Universe (AU)

What if...

❥ too much time has passed?: Instead of running into her in 2007, Natasha doesn't see Katya again until 2018, when she and Yelena manage to break free from the Red Room's brainwashing. Katya isn't as eager to see Natasha again | wordcount: 3.4k

❥ they don't run together?: Instead of going on the run together after the Accords, Natasha and Katya split up for safety reasons. They barely see each other. Until Kat surprises Nat on that ferry to Norway | wordcount: 1.2k

#katandnat #natasha romanoff #natasha romanov #natasha romanoff x fem!oc #natasha romanoff x female character #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff oneshot #natasha romanoff imagine #black widow

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me-paina · 3 months ago

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AO3 Recommendations Part 2

Previous recommendations - Part 1

Next - Part 3

Hey so, I haven't done this in a long while but I wanna recommend some AO3 fics that I have read and loved these past few years. I'll put a limit because I can go on and on, so 12 fics per fandom. (multifandom person >:))

(Oldest to newest bookmarks of mine)

UNDERTALE -

1. Because I Trust You by WrittenKinzy18 (Complete)

(I love all of their fics! you should read the Winged Multiverse series)

2. Soulless by ItzZaira (Complete)

(ItzZaira fics are always amazing no matter what fandom!)

3. Silent Stars by fifi11 (Hasn't updated - 2022) :((

(This is a sad one guys, so, buckle up.)

4. My Fault by Keelynoelle (Complete)

(I read this a long time ago but I know there was some good brother bonding moments and Grillby being amazing (made me emotional))

5. From Murder to Dust by Clichely (Complete)

(Really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really dark. Good one though)

6. Steel and Stripes by Lady Quo (Hasn't updated - 2021) :(((

(This is just adorable. ¡Tiny sans alert! Older papyrus!)

7. Fatigue by duckydotducky (Hasn't updated - 2021) :(((

(Monsters are really untreated fairly, at least one human is nice. )

8. An Err in Communication by TheVoidIsMyHome (Complete)

(Mute Error. Literally love this concept.)

9. Inquisitive by Another_thing (Hasn't updated - 2020) :((((

(You don't know how much I love FGOD Error, I go crazy for it. Why is Nightmare's gang so wholesome, I swear, I love them so much)

10. ZombieTale by Kamisori (On going)

(I literally can't describe how amazing this fic is. This has helped me get through so much over the years. Thank you for making this amazing fic!)

11. Serif One by samlysam (Complete)

(Sans, and Papyrus, are going through so much There are a lot of fics where Gaster is bad but it still hurts. I'm glad Red, Alphys, Undyne, Edge and Miss Toriel were there for them.)

12. Scenic Our House by grubbin (On going)

(If you don't say Snowy is the best character ever, then I'm not being your friend. I love this rendition of the machine bringing skeletons here.)

ROTTMNT -

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

1. The wrong side of the portal by ItzZaira (On going)

(See I told you they are good at writing. This is just so heartbreaking for Leo (2018) but don't worry I swear it gets better.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

2. Stranger Danger by Balkanbitch (On going)

(The Mikey's switched places. I think it's good for Mikey (2012) to have a break and be in the ROTTMNT universe. Not so sure about Mikey (2018) though, I mean he could help the others and make them act to be better family, but on the other hand, the krang is still here, and as we have seen, it can cause a lot of PTSD and other issues.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

3. Dagger From the Mirror by TotallyNotASecretAO3Account (Complete)

(Dagger from the Mirror is dark, hahaha, but Stranger in the Mirror the sequel of it (you should read it too) is a lot darker and also gets better (eventually))

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

4. Presumed Dead by Minor_Inconvenience23 (Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(The 2012 gang is so caring! I love Leo angst if you couldn't tell.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

5. Displaced by spiromachia (Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(PB & J duo is amazing. I love this so much.)

(ROTTMNT)

6. Power Up by pickledcarrotsandradish (On going)

(Leo angst again. This is just sad. new power up and it's to heal or rather take the pain away and give it do himself. :( he is just so sacrificial.)

(ROTTMNT)

7. Fading Memories by HellsTrojanHorse (Complete)

( This reminds me too much of when my grandpa passed. it's been 2 years. This fic made me cry. Their writing style is so beautiful. The way they write, and show their emotions in the words are just perfect. This fan-fic just reminded me that I'm not alone in feeling this grief. )

(ROTTMNT/12TMNT/03TMNT/87TMNT)

8. A Mixed Bag by GreatlyBlessed (Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(All of the turtle's mixed together to find away out and find each other :3)

(ROTTMNT)

9. This Was(n't) About You by uncouth_peasant (Complete)

(When Leo decided to tell no one of these self-sacrificial ways… Well this is the result.)

(ROTTMNT/12TMNT/03TMNT/87TMNT)

10. B.E.A.S.T by SkylerSkyhigh (Complete)

(The Rise boys aren't violent, they're just traumatic)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT)

11. The Purple Conundrum by Donnies_Lady_87 (On going)

(The Purple Turtles swapped, but instead of teenagers, they swapped when they were tots, and now everything is going to be different when they grow up.)

(ROTTMNT/12 TMNT/03 TMNT/87 TMNT/Bay TMNT/IDW TMNT/07 TMNT/Last Ronin/19 TMNT/16 game TMNT/19 Power Rangers TMNT)

12. Multiverse of Michelangelo by Srae13 (Complete)

(Mikey, why are you stealing your counterparts?)

MARVEL -

1. Take These Broken Shards (I’m bleeding out) by DaniWib (Complete)

(This is so scary, heartbreaking and terrifying yet Peter Parker & The Avengers bonding is so adorable at the same time. I am so glad that the Avengers are here to help. That shit-bastard, Skip Westcott can go and dig his own grave.)

2. Reintroducing Hope by Fernandidilly_yo (Complete)

(I am actually so shocked... I can't believe how amazing this Fic is. Peter is so precious, and the adventures are such an amazing family.)

3. Child's Play by theoneandonlyfishboy (Complete)

(Why is Marvel fics so emotional.)

4. Somewhere You Can Be Safe by sarcasmismyweapon (Complete)

(Switched, well transported to another timeline... Wow, and these Avengers are much more Domestic.)

5. The Avengers vs The Peter Factor bymidnightwolf2192

(Hasn't updated - 2023) :(

(The Peter factor is working really well!)

6. You Screamed For So Long We Forgot To Care Anymore by GalaxyThreads (Complete)

(I love Loki so much, and seeing him like this breaks my heart! Poor Loki.)

7. Dysfunctional by InkpotGod97 (Complete)

(This is a dysfunctional family.)

8. Not Everyone Deserves a Second Chance byJustRandomStories

(Complete)

(This is so insane, I love this so much, the new avengers are so amazing, and the rogues are honestly dickheads. I love the red three, they are the best.)

9. from your perspective, the world is flat by blueh (Complete)

(Identity reveal for Peter, and to his Academic Decathlon Team. I mean he took it better than I'd expected. the Avengers are so nice! Read the second part as well peter parker's guide on secret identity fails :D)

10. Formalities by Terranpheum (Complete)

(This is an amazing fanfic, oh my gosh! The way everyone just enters Peter's apartment and hangs out with him is amazing. I love the bond everyone has with Peter, it's precious and it's like everyone just adopted him (I mean that's kinda what happened). Towards the end, it got really sad but I'm glad Peter knows he has support now.)

11. The Other Stark by Angst_gremlin (On going)

(Oh... Holy... I have no words. Honestly, This is one of the most heartbreaking stories I have ever read on Ao3. My heart aches for Peter, the sheer neglect he faces daily from everyone is just making me so angry, like WTF do any of you guys have common sense? Do you know what this can do to someone's mindset, A CHILD no less? He doesn't deserve that treatment, hell no one does.)

12. Neon Liar (Hiding in Plain Sight) by isaDanCurtisproduction (Complete)

(This is one of the Best Field Trips to SI fics. There is so much Fluff and a good amount of Angst. Oh, and you can't forget the embarrassment Peter gets. I love this so much, the way the Avengers interact with Peter. My favourite part is when everyone thought he was skipping school. The text messages were priceless!)

Am I crazy... Yes

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kiaxet · 10 months ago

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Leo feels the air leave the room as his eyes travel to the Assistant’s uncovered face to see-

They’re a turtle. Dark green skin, yellow markings - whorls of color that stretch from temple to jaw and disappear into the cowl around their neck, and a glare that could strip paint-

But part of that glare is the same brown eyes they all have. Dad’s eyes.

One of their siblings is alive.

SIBLINGQUEST IS LIVE, Y'ALL

Missing siblings! Found family! Terrible first impressions! I have so many plans for this fic, but first we have to meet our protagonist, and boy is it a rocky experience.

Thanks again to @dandylovesturtles for being my beta on this! I appreciate you <3

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt oc #rottmnt fanfiction #fic: siblingquest 202x #writing #it's gonna be a while until the next update #but I for one am having fun here #even if certain characters in this story Are Not

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kawaiipony-productions · 5 months ago

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IMPORTANT: My Situation and GoFundMe

Hola y hello, to those who don't know who I am. I'm Itzel aka Kawaiipony Productions. I'm a 17 y/o (mostly Mlp) YouTuber. I'm non-binary asexual biromantic (he/she/they) and I'm also an AuDHDer. And well, I need help. I live in an emotionally abusive household and my own “father” is my abuser. And while my mom isn’t as bad and my relationship with her has gotten better in recent years, she has still caused harm even by letting a lot of this slide.

Around February 18th, 2022, my parents snooped on my phone and found out I was trans. They had taken my phone, tablet, and Nintendo Switch. Which I wouldn’t mind too much if I didn’t purchase majority of these. I bought my tablet myself sometime around 2018 to 2019 with my own money. And I split half and half with one of my sisters to buy our Switch. That is hundreds not only stolen, but also destroyed as they’ve broken my tablet (which was around $300-350 when I bought it) previous instances it’s been taken from me. And I have not received any of these devices since.

Not only that, but my abuser in the past years of me dealing with my abusive relationship with him, h has threatened not only kick me out of the house, but also send me to the military without my consent or send me to my family in México to “straighten me out.” Not to mention his constant ableism towards me. From being anti-vax (a very ableist rhetoric towards autistics), forcing me to mask, etc.

This has led to me secretly doing my job as a part-time YouTuber for the past 2 years now, especially since I was forced to delete the previous Kawaiipony Productions channel cause of him. I have a GFM to help fund me for being able to get proper equipment again for doing my work. Not only that, but also possibly for things I plan to get once I turn 18 such as starting to get therapy, medication for my ADHD, etc. And now that I started dating my girlfriend, Vikki, I want to start saving some of this money to possibly meet her irl sometime next year.

I am taking a few small paid jobs for work right now, but it’s still not enough for my situation. So, you may ask, how can I help? Well, if you have the money, donate to my GFM. My GFM goal is $2,000 and I still need around $1,200 for reaching my goal. I also have adoptables for sale right now for $25 each. If you can’t financially help, then you can share not only my GFM, but my work. From my artwork, my videos on YouTube, and projects I’ve been a part of as a voice actor, animator, and/or artist. Any of this helps support me through everything going on in my life. I could really use it right now. So any and all support helps me out. Thank you all for reading this thread, I appreciate any and all support I need!!!

-Itzel C.D. aka Kawaiipony Productions

Ways to support me!!!

My YouTube channel:

My GoFundMe:

Current Adoptables for Sale:

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vettelsvee · 5 months ago

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CLIFFORD AND EMILY | Sebastian Vettel

history series main masterlist | requests here!

ferrari sebastian vettel x race engineer girlfriend!reader

word count: 3195

summary: y/n tells seb that it would be a great present for his birthday to adopt a puppy, and they find the perfect one

warnings: fluff, fluff and more fluff. dad ferrari!seb as i can't get rid of him. based on 2018 season and narrated on seb's pov

a/n: once again, this is part of history series (coming soon as is being heavily edited) and translated by cele! changed my layout to my comfort people so are you like it? also, as always, i'll be waiting for your feedback, as well as comments and chats on that anon button please! and also, don't forget reblogs are truly appreciated guys! tysm <3

Normally, I didn't have trouble getting up in the mornings, especially during Grand Prix weekends, but today it had been incredibly hard to leave Y/N and Emily sleeping.

Maybe the problem was that today was my birthday, and, in part, we couldn't spend it like a normal family. I didn't mind working on such a special day, but it did bother me when I thought it was my first birthday with Emily.

Very reluctantly, I decided to start my day, trying not to let my bad mood consume me. As soon as I set foot on the floor, I adjusted the sheets to cover my girlfriend, taking the utmost care not to wake her. Nights with our daughter were exasperating, and I didn't know how Y/N managed to be at one hundred percent during team meetings, press conferences, free practice sessions, qualifying and the race, and especially the briefings and all the data analysis her job entailed.

I trained with Eddie for just an hour and a half. According to him, my birthday present was a less strict training session; even so, we ran a lap around the block where the hotel was located, and then we went straight to the gym.

At half-past seven in the morning, to my good fortune, he told me I could go back to my room to get ready for that Friday.

I entered as quickly as I could, being very careful because it was still quite early, and I assumed my girls would be resting. Deep down, I knew that wasn't going to be the case, so I wasn't surprised to see Y/N, still in her pyjamas, walking back and forth while breastfeeding Emily and trying to eat a piece of toast.

“God!” She quickly swallowed the bite and pretended she hadn't been eating. I couldn't help but laugh at how cute the scene seemed to me. “I'm so sorry, Seb. I had ordered breakfast to be brought up and ready for when you came, but I was so hungry and wasn't sure when Eddie would let you go today…”

I shook my head and approached her. I left a short kiss on her lips and then placed another on my daughter's forehead.

“Happy birthday, sunshine,” she said, wrapping her free arm around me. “How many birthdays have we spent together now? Eight?”

“Seven,” I corrected her, remembering we didn’t get to spend the 2008 one together. “And I hope there will be more because I'm not going to let you get rid of me anytime soon.”

“Do you really think I'm going to get rid of you so soon? In case you don't remember, we not only work together: we also share a house, a cat, a daughter, and we're going to have a dog…”

After that last part, Y/N let out a small scream and covered her mouth with her hand.

If I was the one who could keep secrets perfectly, Y/N Y/L/N was the complete opposite.

“What do you mean by a dog, Y/N?”

“Oh, well, I don't know… I must have mixed up some conversation I had with Aristella about Cherry,” her nerves were quite noticeable. “I got confused, and…”

“Y/N, I know you perfectly, and I know when you're lying to me. What did you mean by we’re going to have a dog?”

Given my insistence and, why not say it, the poker face I probably had, my girlfriend sighed. She placed Emily in the crib next to our bed and, while asking me to sit down and start having breakfast, took her mobile phone and immersed herself in it.

“Well, you see…” she began, sitting in front of me and taking a strawberry in her hands. “Since you adopted Vanilla as a surprise for me, I've been thinking that I would like to do the same for you, but between the chaotic 2013 we had and Emily's birth, I found it a bit impossible. It's also true that it's something I would like to discuss before doing it because it's a matter that depends not only on me but also on you,” she clarified.

“And that means…?”

“Forget it, Seb. It doesn't matter. I haven't told you anything, okay? Forget it.”

It bothered me to see her so indecisive, though it didn’t stop me from finding her idea quite endearing deep down. I knew she was nervous; the constant fiddling with the napkin and her flushed cheeks were proof of that.

“Do you want to adopt a dog?” I asked her, loud and clear.

“It’s not that I want to adopt a dog. Well, I do, but…” she sighed, stopped eating breakfast, and looked at me directly. “The thing is, I know you’d like to have a dog, and you’ve had that idea in your head for quite some time, so I thought that, only if you want, we could adopt one,” she finally explained.

“Do you want to wait until we get back home? If you want, we can talk to Michael and have him recommend…”

“No, no, not at all! I’ve already talked to Lewis about it, and he’s informed me,” she hastened to clarify. “Since I wanted to do all this, if possible, today, I asked him where he adopted Roscoe and Coco. I thought today was the perfect day for the adoption because it’s your birthday,” she repeated.

I nodded as I got up and headed towards Emily’s crib, who had started crying once more.

“I mean, all this is only if you want, of course,” Y/N spoke again. Before I could respond, she interrupted me once more. “But if you want, we can do it when we get back home. I don’t mind, except I wouldn’t have another birthday present to give you…”

Still holding the baby in my arms, I approached her and silenced her with a long, slow kiss, one I took my time with but received no complaints about, quite the opposite.

Y/N always went out of her way with gifts, even during times when her finances weren't the best. I much preferred her giving me something symbolic over an expensive whim.

So, the fact that she wanted to adopt a dog today, as my birthday present, made this thing I had wanted for so long even more special. Plus, thinking that Emily would grow up with the new member of the family made it a thousand times better.

“If my girl says it’s happening today, then we should follow her lead,” I finished saying. “What time do you think we’ll be done with everything we have to do today?”

[...]

“I hope there aren’t too many people, because if Britta finds out we’re doing all this without telling her…”

“Y/N, relax. If there’s any problem or anything, I’ll handle the press. Besides, it’s not like they don’t know me: remember I adopted Roscoe and Coco there, so they know me quite well.”

Lewis had decided to come with us to, according to him, ensure his friends received proper treatment. Deep down, I knew it was because he didn’t want to see Aristella, Britta’s niece and Y/N's best friend, hanging around Rosberg even while they were in the middle of their divorce process.

Hamilton’s concern for the girl wasn’t just something a friend would have, and I knew he was fully aware of that.

“Do you have something in mind, Seb?”

Lewis’s voice snapped me out of my trance.

“Sorry, what?”

“If you’ve thought of a name for the dog,” the dark-haired man spoke again. “I hope it’s something different from the usual. You know, the world has too many Tobys and all those common dog name variants.”

“If we’re talking about giving common names to pets, Seb is your guy,” Y/N spoke now, almost shouting. “When he adopted Vanilla just to get me to move in with him, he told me Garfield was a better name. Garfield, like the cartoon cat! If that’s not common…”

“What do you want to call an orange cat, Y/N? Vanilla? I remind you that you wanted to name her Cheeto…”

“Because she looked like a Cheeto and I thought it was a male!” she retorted. “Later, when I realised she was female and not so orange, I named her Vanilla.”

“Vanilla, I like it. It’s an… interesting name,” Lewis intervened. “Can I ask why you named her like that?”

“Y/N's favourite ice cream flavour is vanilla. That, and if you add the fact that cats are her favourite animal…” I answered in her place.

I saw Y/N's lips curve slightly in the rear-view mirror.

Then, she turned around and put a hand on my leg, stroking it.

“I hope you find the perfect name for the new family member, love. Even if it’s the same as every other dog in the world,” she said ironically.

After those words, I realised we had arrived at the shelter Lewis Hamilton seemed to admire so much.

The Brit, as he guided us towards what appeared to be the entrance, commented that we should be careful with Emily, not because the furry ones were aggressive, but because they got very excited when they had visitors, especially if they were children.

A dark-skinned woman with completely dark hair was at the door, as if she had been waiting for us for a while. Lewis gave her a hug and immediately introduced us.

“These are Sebastian Vettel, his girlfriend Y/N, and their daughter, Emily.”

She gave us a smile, and I saw she intended to shake our hands until she saw our little one. She approached to dote on her as soon as Y/N gave her permission with a glance. Emily’s laughter began to fill the room, and she started to move cheerfully in Y/N's arms.

“I’m so sorry for my lack of manners, but when I see such a beautiful baby like this little one…” the woman began to say, still playing with the child. Then, she cleared her throat and looked at both of us. “Nice to meet you, couple,” she finally shook our hands. “I’m Jade, and well, I’ve been a volunteer at this shelter since time immemorial, back in the prehistoric times.”

“Don’t say that, Jade! You look wonderful,” Lewis told her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t be so flattering, young man,” she chided him. “I appreciate all kinds of compliments for my age, but that’s not why we’re here. Well, tell me: if I’m not mistaken, and as your friend here has told me, you want to expand your family, right?”

Now she was looking intently at both of us. I nodded in response; at the same time, and by inertia, my right arm wrapped around my girlfriend’s waist, which made Emily start reaching out her little arms to come to me.

“Today is Seb’s birthday, and he’s been wanting to adopt a dog for quite some time,” my girlfriend explained.

“Oh, the adoption is a birthday gift!” Jade exclaimed, beginning to clap and approaching me quickly to give me a hug that I gladly accepted. “Happy birthday, dear! How old are you now?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Oh, dear. If I could be that age again…”

I smiled at her response as Y/N handed me Emily, who had started babbling to come to me.

“A daddy’s girl, I see, huh?” Jade chimed in. Y/N was about to answer, but before she could even do so, the woman was already speaking again. “Well, since it’s your birthday, I think I have the perfect gift for you.”

Without saying anything more, the woman gestured for us to follow her, and we did. We passed through several areas with dogs of different ages roaming freely, who approached us to sniff and perhaps convince us to adopt them.

Lewis mentioned that some of them were related to Coco. I laughed at the supposed joke, which stopped being a joke when Jade confirmed it. Y/N lagged behind a few times because she stopped to play with the dogs that approached her, which were quite a few. Emily and I, however, kept a brisk pace, possibly eager to find out what the woman was talking about and why she was being so mysterious.

Finally, we arrived at a kind of room with less light than I expected and, to my surprise, full of what seemed to be soft little beds. On top of them, not only was there a dog lying down that seemed quite tired, but there were also several puppies nursing from her.

Jade indicated before we entered that we should remain silent.

“One of our dogs gave birth last night,” she told us. “I don’t want to give all her puppies up for adoption since I’d like at least one to stay with her, but considering that the puppies and you share a birthday, I’d be delighted if you adopted one of them.”

I opened my eyes wide and couldn’t say anything. Next to me, Y/N seemed to have reacted the same way I did.

Saying we were surprised would be an understatement.

“But… are you serious?” my girlfriend commented, still in surprise.

“Of course, dears!” the woman responded cheerfully. “The only issue, so to speak, though it’s not really a problem, is that it’ll take about a month and a half before you can take him home. You know, the separation process from the mother is crucial.”

“No problem, really. We’ll wait as long as it takes,” I finally spoke. “Besides, I think we have a break around that time, right?”

“Yes, about a month,” Lewis replied.

“We’ve already got our vacation destination, sunshine,” Y/N said to me, apparently much more excited than I was.

“Now, I need you to tell me something important: which one of them do you want to be your little girl’s new brother?”

Still holding Emily, Y/N and I carefully approached the puppies.

To our eyes, they all looked exactly the same. We couldn’t see their eyes, but I was almost convinced they would be similar to the colour of their fur, a light brown skin similar to beach sand. They were huddled together and didn’t seem to be doing anything other than trying to nurse for as long as possible.

“Do you know what breed or mix they are?” Y/N asked the lady with that characteristic curiosity of hers.

“If I remember correctly, their mother is a golden retriever and their father, a big labrador.”

My girlfriend thanked her, turning towards her and leaving Emily by herself for a moment. At that point, seemingly unaware that her mother wasn't watching her every move, the little one began to crawl towards the puppies. Instinctively, I quickly scooped her up in my arms to prevent her from doing so. However, she didn't seem to give up: she started kicking until, just like that, I brought her a little closer to the furry animals.

While Y/N and Lewis chatted with Jade, I remained seated on the floor next to my daughter, who seemed to have settled on a particular puppy. I tried shifting her gaze from side to side, attempting to get her to notice the rest of them, but it seemed the one farthest from its mother had caught her attention the most.

“I think Emily has chosen who’s going to be her adopted sibling, hasn’t she?” I remarked.

As soon as I said that, the three of them turned towards me, crouching down to my level. Emily was still engrossed with that little one and seemed to continue being so until we left.

“Have you chosen for Daddy, Emi?” Y/N asked, almost lying on the floor to join the game that Emily was playing with the one who seemed to be our new child. “Do you want this to be your new little brother? Or sister, of course.”

“He's a boy, actually,” Jade intervened. “And, if I’m honest and don't recall incorrectly, he’s the oldest of the whole litter.”

“Do you want to adopt this little one then, sunshine? Honestly, if you’re not convinced we can wait a bit…” Y/N whispered as if wanting it to be a secret between us.

“Clifford,” I suddenly blurted out.

They looked at me as if they had seen a ghost. Of course, I would act the same if someone dropped a name out of nowhere in a situation like this.

“I want to name him Clifford,” I clarified. “Remember the series about that big red dog you told me you watched with your sisters when they were little?” I asked my girlfriend, who nodded. “Well, if I remember correctly, you told me that the main character of the series, who was also the owner of the dog, was named Emily.”

“What’s that got to do with it, love?” she asked, curious. Did she really not know why I had suggested that name?

“Well, it just so happens that your daughter is named Emily and she seems to have chosen for us.”

Y/N’s eyes lit up and widened exaggeratedly. I swear I saw them get a little misty when she finally seemed to understand what I meant. Immediately, she stood up, took the baby in her arms, and began to talk to her while they played as if they were the only ones in the room.

“I guess I already have a birthday present, right?” I asked the redhead, standing beside her and giving her a kiss on the forehead and another to our daughter.

“Emily and Clifford…” she murmured. “I like it. I love it, actually.”

“Well, I hope that when we have the next baby, I can nail it in the same way.”

Jade, after the last sentence that I had just said, was left dumbfounded. Lewis, for his part, tried to turn a deaf ear and, instead, told me that they would be waiting for us at the entrance to do all the necessary paperwork, not without whispering to me in the least blatant way possible that he hoped that this would be my other birthday present.

Obviously, he deserved a well-deserved punch from Y/N.

“Are you already thinking about the next baby, love? Emily hasn’t even turned one yet!”

“I always think about the second baby, to be honest,” I replied. I was convinced, and I knew as well as she did that we had barely laid the foundations of our family. “A puppy brother for Emily is fine, but a human one would be a thousand times better. Don’t you think so?”

Y/N rolled her eyes and turned away, heading towards the shelter entrance. I quickly caught up with her, and her laughter filled my ears.

“If you're already thinking about our second baby, then we'll have to listen to Lewis and start practising tonight before dinner with my parents,” she suggested.

Her mischievous look infected me, and I couldn’t help but return it.

“As the birthday boy, I vote for squeezing in a free practice session before dinner with my parents tonight. How does that sound?”

“Whatever you wish, birthday boy,” she replied. “But I hope you come up with a good enough excuse for them not to suspect anything when we arrive late, and also when you ask if they can keep Emily overnight.”

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userparamore · 4 months ago

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hi! genuine question - why is it a disappointment that pmore performed at eras tour? i’m very neutral on taylor swift so i don’t really know the issues surrounding it. thank you in advance ❤️

i'm no taylor swift stan so i don't really want to, or have the energy to mention everything. but from a paramore fan perspective it's disappointing bc it's makes them come across as hypocrites. i've talked about this before and i don't want to get into it again but they've spoken up about climate change, hayley even jokes about root being about our planet "running out of time", they've partenered with REVERB on their this why tour (which i guess is a little greenwashing-ish but better than nothing). but this ends up being ungenuine when you tour with the artist who releases the most co2 emission out of every celebrity. the fact that she sued the kid who called her out for this, i think says alot about her as a person. paramore preaches about the shows being a safe place for everyone; all poc and lgbtq+. but then they tour with the prime example of white feminism, who only speaks up/comments on things if it affects her. and again with paramore claiming to be more political during the this is why album cycle, and expressed multiple times how important the diversity of their fans are etc. it does not seem genuine when they're praising an artist like taylor swift as much as they have been doing. i think that saying of: if you want to know someone, just look at who they choose to spend their time with, is very true.

another part of this and i think this is probably the biggest one for paramore fans in general is that the tours during this is why didn't include europe mainland (or asia). they toured only in uk&ireland for this is why, and then in interviews said they did an european tour. is the european tour in the room with us now? anyway, the last european mainland tour was jan 2018, and had only 3 dates that wasn't in the uk out of 8. so the last real european tour was summer 2017 with 18 dates. 6 of them was in the uk&ireland and 4 of the rest of the european dates were festivals leaving only 8 "real" concerts in mainland europe. lots of the countries on the eras tours, like italy, poland, switzerland etc paramore haven't played in over a decade (aka during the self-titled era). to have waited this long for them to tour and then for it to cost close to 400 dollars for a nosebleed ticket, if you even get a ticket, does not feel great. another thing is that for some of these countries paramore have made 2 albums since the last time they toured, and they've never had the opportunity to hear any of the songs from those albums live. as the opener act on the eras tour, paramore played 9 song. most of these were their greatest hits. as a paramore fan you obviously want to go to a concert to see them perform, but for that amount of money i think it's reasonable to want to hear other songs than still into you, ain't it fun and misery business. the setlist was catered to reach non-fans, and that's fine honestly, it would probably be worse for them to play songs "nobody" had heard, than the one's that had commercial success and makes them be able to have some crowd interaction.

either way, i don't think people would've been as disappointed by this tour if they had also announced an solo european tour. the argument that this will get them new fans and make them a bigger name doesn't hold water in my opinion bc paramore are already a big band. they're already a band who can sell out tours and big venues on their own.

#i hope this cleared things up a bit #ask #anon

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agoddamnbeautifulidiot · 6 months ago

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Flicker of Hope

Epilogue Two: Madison Square Garden – Night Two

A/N:

Here is it. The final part of FOH…well unless I eventually feel like writing anything else lol. Who knows what else @harrywavycurly or anyone else might inspire from me for these two.

Note that I do play around with the timeline of Niall and Hailee’s relationship to benefit this story. Here, they only see each other from January 2018 to sometime in July 2018.

Also, we’re circling back around to death in this and there will be discussion of depression, slight unintentional ED, so bear that in mind.

Big, HUGE thanks to everyone who has read this series and spent years asking me when there would be more. You’re the real ones.

And big thanks to Niall for just being Niall. Wouldn’t have been able to write this without his beautiful music.

Alright, enough sappiness from me, here’s some more from our favorite couple. And maybe some spice. You never know with me.

-----------

You’re just coming out of the bathroom when Niall’s alarm goes off. He groans loudly and you giggle as you watch him roll over to smack his phone. The sheets are tangled in his legs and pulled taut around his hips. Flopped on his stomach, he shoves his arms under a pillow and smashes it against his face.

Smiling, you walk over to the bed, climbing on it by his feet. Crawling over him, you settle over his covered thighs and sit down. Niall grunts, turning his head just slightly. One blue eye peeks back at you and you laugh, leaning forward to press a kiss to his bare shoulder.

He hums. “Good mornin’.” His voice is rough from sleep and singing last night.

“Morning,” you say. You sit back, bouncing slightly on the tops of his thighs, making him grunt again. Grinning, you bounce one more time before climbing to the side and off of him. You move to crawl off the bed, but Niall’s hand grips the end of your robe and pulls until you fall into his side. You're laughing as you roll over and snuggle into him. “Something you wanted, my dear?” He opens his eye again, looking disgruntled with his hair tousled. His arm wraps around you, smashing your face into the pillow, making you laugh again. You run your hand over his back, scratching lightly.

Niall finally rolls more fully towards you, both eyes open. He yawns, jaw clicking with the force of it before he leans forward and nuzzles his nose against yours. You offer him a closed mouth kiss and your hand moves into his hair, attempting to smooth out the chaotic strands. “You showered.” He says, rubbing his nose on your cheek.

“I did.”

“I wanted ta shower wit ya.” He pouts and it’s ridiculous how adorable you find this man.

Massaging his scalp, you offer him another kiss. “I’m sorry, honey. I had a call this morning so I got up early to do that and then figured I’d go ahead and shower. I will remind you though, we did shower together last night.”

He just stares at you, continuing to look so adorably and sleepily disgruntled. “Is dere a rule against showerin’ together two times in a row dat I don’ know about?”

“No, you dork,” He grins when you roll your eyes. Ignoring his face, you pull away, finally managing to crawl back off the bed as he reaches for you. “I was gonna order some breakfast. You want anything?”

Niall adjusts, sitting up against the pillows, still grinning at you. Most of the covers are bunched up at the end of the bed, so he fixes the sheet until it’s mostly covering his legs. “Guess I’m lucky me alarm went off. Knowing you, you would’ve had a whole feast without me.”

“Oh my god, you’re so dramatic.” You start going through your suitcase, trying to pull a suitable option for the start of the day. “I was coming to wake you up anyways.”

“Cause you're hungry.”

“Cause I’m starving, Niall.” He laughs when you whine, pulling a sad face at him. “I’ve been up for hours and all I’ve had was a pack of airline nuts that I literally have no idea when they’re from and some really bad tea from the coffee bar.”

“Where did you find peanuts?”

You throw your robe onto the chair and pull on some shorts and a shirt. “They were in one of the side pockets on your suitcase.” When you look up at Niall, his eyebrows are raised. “What? I told you I was hungry.”

He shakes his head, tossing the sheet off his legs to get out of the bed. “Those could literally be years old, babe. Can’t remember da last time I got nuts on an airplane.” Brow furrowed, you just stare at him for a moment. He huffs out a laugh and leans over to kiss you on the forehead as he walks by. “‘M gonna jump in the shower. Order me like a full spread and some coffee, please.”

You stand there for a full minute, just thinking about those peanuts. “Gross.”

——————

It’s not the most comfortable, but you’ve somehow managed to sprawl across several floor seats as you listen to sound check. The seats are hard and there are several legs digging into your side and thigh, but you’re content to just lay there and listen to Niall and the band play.

Eyes closed, you hum along as the opening bars of “Mirrors” starts. You remember the videos you were tagged in over and over all those years ago when you’d have to leave Niall behind in Tokyo to deal with the loss of your dad. Thinking back now, it had felt like you were leaving half your soul behind. Because honestly, you had.

Other than all the nonsense with Robbie and the subsequent falling out the two of you had had, the lingering effects of your dad’s death had been the most difficult part of your relationship. Not because any part of it had come between you, but all of it had put you under so much stress and Niall had felt absolutely helpless.

The worst part of all of it had been what happened with your sister Charlie. Despite the fact that it had been what had finally reconnected you and Niall.

Your eyes are starting to blur from how long you’ve been staring at your computer screen. It’s almost dark in your apartment, which should tell you to get up, turn on a light and find something to have for dinner. But this is easier. Sitting on your couch, working. The same thing you’ve been doing for months.

It had been months since you’d spoken to Niall. Since the end of January really. Back when Tara had let it slip that the rumors about him and Hailee were true. You just couldn’t bear to reach out to him. Not that he was reaching out to you. Your text conversation had been relegated to the bottom of your messages app, something that cut at you any time you thought about it.

Your eyes flicker down to the date on your screen. 8/19/2018. Red Rocks. Niall, someone who you once called your best friend, was playing Red Rocks tomorrow and you weren’t going to be there. Groaning, you rub your hands over your face, finally leaning over to flick on the lamp on the side table. Setting your laptop to the side, you stand up and stretch, rolling your shoulders. You head into the kitchen, wondering if there’s any actual food to find.

“Pathetic,” you mutter, opening doors to barren cabinets. “You have no food, your whole body hurts and you’re thinking about a guy who probably isn’t sparing you a single thought as he has the best time of his life. Utterly pathetic.” You pull out your phone and see what you can get delivered. It’s later than you thought, but thankfully there are still a few things open in London.

Food ordered, you head back into the living room, walking around the room a few times to avoid sitting back in your chair. You’re dazedly staring out the gap in your curtains when your phone rings loudly in the silence.

“Hey, Josh,” you greet your brother in law.

Josh sighs, “Hey, kid.” He sounds tired and your brow furrows.

“Is everything ok?”

He chuckles at that, but they’re sad sounds, almost like he’s holding in tears. “No, no, everything is not ok.”

You can’t help it, you practically drop down into your chair, stomach sinking with dread. “What’s going on?”

“She did it, Y/N,” He says. “Charlie filed for divorce.”

It’s like the world stops spinning around you for a second and when it starts up again, you’re dizzy. “What the fuck? What are you talking about?”

Josh laughs again, and this time the sound is truly wet with tears. “She came home today and told me. And then she packed all of her stuff and moved out.”

“Josh.” It’s all you can say for a minute. Your brain tries to catch up with what he’s saying. “But, she…she’s been going to therapy. You’ve been going to therapy. I thought everything was getting better?”

“Yeah, I did too.” He scoffs. “I don’t know what happened. Yesterday, everything seemed ok and then today…” Be trails off and you can’t do anything but stare sadly at your worn out bunny slippers. “There’s more.”

You take in a deep breath, trying to hold in your panicked laughter. “What more could there possibly be?”

“Well, we were waiting to tell everyone, but at this point, we need to.” Josh pauses again and you can hear him breathing deeply over the line. “She’s pregnant.”

Gasping, you stand up, pacing around your coffee table. “Pregnant?! What the fuck? What…and she…Josh…” You don’t even know what to say. Everything he’s telling you is making you feel like you’re in an alternate reality.

“Yeah, and I tried to bring that up, you know? Like how are we getting divorced when we’ve got a kid on the way? But she, she doesn’t want to be with me anymore, Y/N.” His voice breaks and you feel tears coming on. “And I’m not going to make all of us miserable if we’d be happier apart.”

“What are you guys going to do?”

Josh sighs. “We’re going to figure it out. We’re having a kid and getting divorced. It’s not going to be easy, but we’re going to get through it.”

You try to think happy thoughts for him, even though you know all of this is killing him. “You’re going to be the best dad, Josh.”

That makes him chuckle, and it’s still wet with tears but you know he’s smiling. “Thanks, kid. You’re going to be the best aunt.”

The two of you talk for a few more minutes until your door buzzer goes off, signaling the arrival of your dinner. You grab your food, placing the bag on the coffee table and sitting back in your chair.

Staring at the bag, you can’t seem to force yourself to open it. Your stomach growls loudly, but you don’t even hear or feel it. Josh and Charlie breaking up and having a baby? How do you reconcile that? After everything else that’s happened this year?

Your phone lights up and you grab it to check it. It’s the notification from Niall posting on instagram and there’s something about this moment that feels like a sign. Opening up your messenger app, you scroll down and hesitate over his name for just a second before clicking the chat open and beginning to type.

Something nudged your foot and you frown, readjusting. The band has stopped playing, but you can hear them messing around from where you’re laying. You feel a shove on your foot again and you open your eyes, gasping and sitting up.

“Oh my god!” You squeal and throw yourself into your brother’s arms. “Arthur! Mom! Nate!” You hug each of them in turn. “Josh!” He hugs you tight and you both laugh when little hands try to tug you apart. Looking down, you laugh at the face your niece is making. “And is that my Lucy Goosey?” She smiles and preens, dancing in place the way only a five year old can. You lean down and scoop her up, propping her on your hip.

Lucy looks around, eyes big as she takes everything in. “Look!” She points at the stage and you nod.

“Yeah! That’s the stage.” You can see the band starting to wind down and Niall has his back to all of you as he talks with several people. “Do you know who that is?” You point at his back, giving her a chance to squint her eyes and shake her head. Leaning in, you whisper in her ear. “That’s Uncle Ni-Ni.”

Her eyes light up and she gasps and shouts. “Uncle Ni-Ni!”

On the stage, he turns and pretends to search the arena before he finds her and he jumps up and down a few times. “Luce!!” He shouts and comes running down the stage. Lucy giggles and bounces on your hip as he gets closer. “Well if it isn’t my best gal Lucy.” Niall shoots you a wink as he reaches the end of the catwalk. “Hello everyone!” He greets your family and they all respond.

Lucy continues to bounce, reaching for him on the stage. You meet his eyes and he nods as he leans down, so you walk over to the barrier and hand her to him. Once he’s got her on stage, he starts walking around, telling her all about the arena and what the show is going to be like.

“It’s just so amazing he’s playing here.” Arthur says, looking around the giant room. Him, Nate and Josh start talking about how many people can fit inside the room, looking thoughtful in a way only guys can about something you could easily google.

Your mom rolls her eyes at them, coming to put her arm around you as you watch Niall. “How you been, honey?” She asks.

Laughing, you wrap your arm around her. “Mom, we spoke two days ago. Not much has changed.” She just shrugs and smiles at you.

“Yeah but now you’re in New York and your boyfriend is playing this big arena. It’s so exciting, I just thought I’d check in.”

You eye her curiously for a moment, but she just continues to smile, turning her glance to Niall and Lucy. Glancing back and your brother and step dad, you lean into her, whispering, “Charlie didn’t want to come?”

Her smile goes a little thin as she meets your eyes and simply shakes her head. Nodding, you take a deep breath and count to five, eyes focused on the edge of the stage. Your mom tightens her arm around you. “Charlie,” she sighs. “Well, she’s still figuring it out, sweetheart. I told her it wasn’t fair to you, this silent treatment, but she’s as stubborn as they come.”

You focus back on Niall, who’s listening to Lucy babble in his ear, but is watching you intently. You paste on a smile, because all of this is for him. Niall is what matters right now. “At least she let Lucy come.”

“Oh, wild horses couldn’t have kept Lucy Goosey from her favorite Aunt and her Uncle Ni-Ni.” You laugh at that and notice the tension ease just slightly out of Niall’s body. “Now, how about we all get some lunch?”

————————

After lunch, you and Niall head back to your hotel to change and have a little bit of time to yourselves before the show.

Niall lays down on the couch immediately, shoving his hat off and just closing his eyes. You plop down in the chair, pulling off your sneakers and socks. Brow furrowed, you stare at the blank tv screen.

“Can hear ya tinkin’, love,” Niall mumbles, eyes still closed.

You’d roll your eyes if it wasn’t so endearing how well he knew you. “It’s nothing.” You murmur. Lifting his head up, Niall opens both eyes to look at you. You stare at each other for a minute and your leg starts to bounce. He refuses to relent, only lifting a brow at you. You do actually roll your eyes this time, slumping further down into the chair. “I’m just thinking about my family.”

He nods, relaxing back into the couch, still watching you. “It’s nice they’re here.”

“It is. I’m really happy they came. I just wish…”

“You just wish Charlie were here?” He guesses.

Nodding meekly, you play with the frayed edges of your shirt. “Or that she’d talk to me, you know?”

With a deep sigh, Niall pulls himself off the couch and leans on the arm of the chair, his hand rubbing soothingly on the back of your neck. “I know, love. But Charlie is gonna do her own ting and it’s honestly better that she isn’t here if she’s not ready.”

“Yeah,” You sigh, leaning your head on his hip. “It just sucks.”

“It does.” He agrees.

The two of you sit there quietly for a few more minutes. Finally, you lean back and look up at him, your hand gripping his calf. “You should go take a nap. Recharge your batteries for tonight. Can’t have a tired pop star on stage.”

He smiles at you, eyes crinkling in the way that makes your heart hurt. “You wanna nap wit me?”

“I think I’m gonna go for a walk. Grab some more coffee. I can bring you back something if you want?”

Eyeing you for a moment, he nods and leans down to kiss your forehead. “Just do me a favor, take someone wit ya, ok?” When he pulls back, his eyes are mischievous.

You chuckle, pulling away to stand up so you can step between his legs and wrap your arms around his neck. “I got lost one time, Niall James. One time!”

“One time too many for me.” He responds, hands on your back as he pulls you closer for a thorough kiss.

——————

Your walk turns into just going down to the hotel cafe. You order an iced coffee and find a cozy space to sit and just watch the city moving outside the windows. It’s probably dangerous for you to be so alone with your thoughts, but you’d rather be here than feeling like you’re bringing Niall down with your mood.

As the city bustles by, you think about the last time you and Charlie had really talked.

“Ok, but you have to give us some space here, Horan.” You say, hands on your hips in Niall’s closet. “I’m going to be here for the whole summer, I want to put my clothes away.”

Niall stands in front of a set of drawers, arms crossed. “Ya have some space babe. I gave you a whole section right dere.” He points and you scoff.

“Niall, I have three suitcases of stuff. That five inches of space is not going to be enough.”

He rolls his eyes and glares at the bags in question like they’ve offended him. “Don’t know why you brought so much stuff. Not gonna be wearing a lot this summer if I have anyting ya say about it.”

“Oh my god!” You laugh, annoyed at the smirk on his face. “Niall James, just make some more room or I’ll do it myself and I won’t be neat about it.” The two of you stare at each other for a minute before he rolls his eyes and relents.

“Fine. I’ll take some of this stuff down to a guest room for now. Still tink you brought too much.” He grabs another small section, huffing and grabbing a bit more at your pointed look before he sticks out his tongue at you and leaves the room.

Feeling triumphant, you start going through your clothes, hanging some items and folding others for the drawer he so graciously cleared out.

“What is he gonna do if we ever move in together?” You mutter to yourself. Your head whips up, just to confirm he hasn’t heard you before you continue. You and Niall had been official for almost five months, so you weren’t out here trying to put any pressure on.

You’ve just unzipped your second case when your phone rings and you grab it, answering without checking the ID and putting it on speaker. “Hello?”

“Hey sis.”

Charlie’s voice stops you cold. The two of you have had very little interaction since she’d decided to divorce Josh. Mostly on Charlie’s side as you’d done quite a bit of reaching out. From what your mom had told you, your sister was convinced pretty much everyone had taken Josh’s side in everything and there was no point in talking further on it. As if that would be the only reason you wanted to talk to her. You quickly check the date, noting you’ve still got a week before her projected due date.

“Hey,” you say, trying not to sound hesitant. “How are you?”

Charlie sighs. “Very pregnant.” You both chuckle softly at that and you’re happy you can still have a moment like that with her.

“I bet. How is my little niece to be?” You ask, quietly going back to unpacking.

“You’re so convinced it’s gonna be a girl?” She asks.

You shrug and then remember she can’t see you. “I don’t know why. I just feel like you’re baking a girl in there.” Charlie laughs a bit at that. “Niall’s convinced it’s a boy, though I’m not sure why, he just says it’s his intuition, although I’m not sure where he thinks he gets this intuition from.” Charlie doesn’t respond and you check the phone to make sure she’s still there. “Char?”

“So,” she says haughtily. “The Niall thing is still happening huh?”

It’s a good thing she can’t see you with the incredulous look you give the phone. “The Niall thing? What does that even mean?”

She groans in annoyance. “You’re still like trying to make it with him or whatever?”

“I mean I’m in a relationship with him, so I guess you can say it like that if you want.”

“Ok,” Charlie scoffs and you know your face shows your annoyance. “But how long do you really think your ‘relationship’ is actually going to last, huh?” The way she says it makes you feel gross, like this thing that is exponentially important to you is just some piece of garbage she found on the side of the road.

Several hangers click together loudly when you shove a dress on the rack. “What the fuck does that mean, Charlie? Are you like rooting for my relationship to fail?”

“I am just being realistic here, sis,” she counters and it’s your turn to scoff. “You’ve been friends how long and it took all this drama and nonsense for him to come to his senses? Be for real.”

“And you know what about my relationship, Charlie? When is the last time you actually asked me something about myself or how I’m doing?” You’re mad now, practically flinging clothes into your drawer.

“I’d say I know more than you considering I’ve been married and it didn’t take a stupid scandal and another woman for Josh to see he wanted me.”

Everything stops and you just stand there for a minute, breathing deep with your back to the phone. “An expert on marriage but you’re getting divorced?” Your tone is biting and you mean it to be. The two of you have always fought fire with fire.

She’s breathing heavily over the phone now and a small part of you worries about her stress, but you refuse to be bulldozed by her. “You don’t know shit about my life and my situation, Y/N. But have fun with your little pop star fling and when he finally decides he’s really done with you, don’t come crawling to me for sympathy.”

You don’t need to check the phone to know she’s ended the call. You stay there, staring into a messy drawer full of items you’re going to have to refold and taking deep breaths. How does every conversation with your sister go so left so quickly these days?

“Well, I see what Josh was talkin’ ‘bout,” Niall’s voice startles you and you whip around to find him leaning against the doorway, arms crossed and an annoyed look on his face.

Your hand comes up to your chest, heart racing. “God, Niall, announce yourself or something. I’m gonna have to get you a freaking bell this summer.”

He just shrugs and gives you a tight lipped smile. “Sorry, darlin’.”

Going back to the drawer, you glare at the mess you made. Suddenly, you turn and look at him. “Wait, what did you mean ‘what Josh was talking about’? When did you talk to Josh?”

“Yesterday.”

He ignores your questioning stare and you huff in annoyance turning back to your drawer. “Since when are you and Josh all buddy-buddy? What do the two of you even have to talk about?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” His reply is just sarcastic enough that it pushes you closer to the edge you know you're teetering towards. “There’s dis one person we both love dat I’m pretty sure we could bond over. I’ve also known Josh almost as long as ‘ve known you, if ya care to remember dat.”

You press your fingers over your eyes, mentally willing this petty argument away, but knowing you’re too wound up to stop. “Fine, whatever. So you and Josh talk about me and talk about Charlie and do what? Compare and contrast?”

Niall’s face twists in confusion. “What?”

“You know, comparing experiences, trying to figure out if I’m going to turn out like her.”

“Dat is not what’s happenin’.”

You’re ignoring him at this point. “If you’re that worried about it—“

He groans. “What are ya on about?”

“I can just go.” You say, fully turning back to face him. Niall looks…dumbfounded. But this, this is what’s been eating at you and Charlie’s phone call has just finally caused the word vomit. You’re shaking, desperately trying to hold everything else in, every bad thought you’ve had, all the tears you want to cry, as he just stares at you.

Finally, he takes a deep breath and steps towards you. One hand reaches out to you and you jerk slightly as he grips your hand and pulls you towards him. His other hand cups your neck, fingers brushing softly into your hair. With a shaky sigh, you lean forward and bury your face in his neck, circling your arms around him, gripping tightly. His other hand rubs the small of your back and you both relax into each other.

“I’m sorry. Fuck, I’m so sorry Niall.” You mutter into his neck, eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“I know, love. It’s alright. Gonna take some gettin’ used to, all of dis. Everyting with Charlie and Josh and being an us, ya know?” His breath ruffles your hair. “We’re not gonna do dis though. No more fightin’. Not over shit like dis. We’ll talk to each other. And, hey, look at me,” he pulls back just enough, meeting your eyes, hands on either side of your face. “You’re not goin’ anywhere. I want ya here.” You nod. “And you’ll talk to your therapist ‘bout dis, yeah?”

You giggle a bit, sniffling. “Yeah, I promise.”

Niall nods and leans forwards, lips meeting yours sweet and slow. He pulls back slightly and presses a few wet kisses into your cheek and neck before huffing. “Now, you’ve made a right proper mess of dis drawer, so let’s get dat taken care of.” His words have the desired effect and you laugh against his shoulder.

The vibration of your phone brings you back to the present and you’re shocked that you’ve been sitting in the cafe for almost two hours. Checking your notifications, you notice a few texts from Niall.

Opening them, you chuckle at the ridiculously rumpled, grumpy faced bed head selfie he’s sent you and read his message:

Pre show nap: 🤘

Waking up with no girlfriend to

cuddle: 😣

Well it’s a good thing your girlfriend

is about to be on her way upstairs to

remedy that for you

You want me to bring you a tea or

anything?

No thank you love, I’ll get one

when we leave for the show. All

I want right now is you in my

bed

Aye, aye captain

Oh babe, you know what that kind

of talk does to me 😉

💋

Niall looks up from the bed when you come through the main door, back against the headboard with his shirt off and the covers bunched at his waist. He smiles. “Der she is.”

“I am at your service, my good sir.” You say, dropping your stuff on the side table and sitting on the bed.

“Ooh, first I was captain, now I’m sir?” Niall jokes, tugging on your arm until you're straddling him. “Damn I’m a lucky guy.”

You laugh, burying your hands in his hair and mussing it further. “You really are, Horan.” He just smiles up at you, hands stroking your thighs. “We need to pack, don't we?” Niall grimaces and nods at you. With a groan, you pull away, struggling slightly as Niall tries to keep you on top of him.

“I wanted cuddles!” He whines, arms circling you, holding you tight while his head rests on your chest.

“I promise you can have all the cuddles you wanted after the show, on the bus.” Grabbing his head, you attempt to pull him up, yelping when he refuses to be moved and his teeth nip at the skin of your chest. The two of you wrestle with each other for a few moments and you’re both laughing when you finally manage to roll to the end of the bed. “Come on babe. Let’s get this done so you can go be a big superstar and play yet another sold out show at Madison Square Garden.” He continues to pout at you, and you check the time on your phone with an eye roll. “Alright,” you climb back over him. “Thirty more minutes and then we have to get up, Niall James.”

Smiling widely at you, he nods and his arms wind around you again. “Dat’s plenty of time, darlin’.” And then you’re squealing as he lifts you, shoving you back on the bed so he can crawl over you, his mouth meeting yours.

——————

There haven’t been a lot of times that you’ve been in the audience for one of Niall’s shows. Your preference has always been being backstage, but with your family here, you end up in the suite that had been set aside. It’s a good time, hanging out with Niall’s family and friends and watching them interact with yours.

Nate, Josh and Mully seem to be talking about golf and Arthur is bonding with Deo of all people which would make you nervous if your brother wasn’t so very level headed.

Your mom and Lucy are up towards the front of the suite, dancing to the music playing as the arena waits for Niall to take the stage. Checking your phone, you note that he should be coming out within the next ten minutes and you feel a little antsy not getting to be back there with him as he goes on.

Mully must sense your weirdness because he comes over, throwing his arm around your shoulders. “Ya alright love?” He asks, smiling at you.

“I am.” You say, smiling at him.

“Bet ya wish you were back der with him, huh? Instead of out here with us lot.” That makes you laugh and Mully squeezes you with a smile on his face.

“Not gonna lie,” you reply. “I do like being back there with him. But this view isn’t so bad.”

He takes a few sips of his beer, gazing out at the arena. “Yeah it really isn’t so bad, huh?” The both of you grin, sharing a moment of pride for Niall before Mully does what he does best. “But you’ll be glad once lover boy is out here, shakin’ it for ya.”

He laughs and almost spills some of his beer when you shove at it. “God, fuck off Mully.” You’re laughing and several other people in the suite are joining in, knowing whatever Mully did, he more than likely deserved your annoyance.

Finally, “The Chain” starts playing, MSG erupting in cheers as the fans know what that means. You join your mom and Lucy up towards the front and you just have to pull out your phone to film the crowd singing along as they get ready for Niall to come out.

As always, once the lights go out, it’s deafening. With a glance at Lucy, you double check that her protective headphones are in place as the opening of The Show: Live on Tour starts projecting across the curtain.

Niall is a dream on stage. The outfit choice alone is enough to get you a little worked up.

“Oh my god.”

Niall looks up, glancing at you in the mirror of his dressing room. “What’s up babe?”

You just stare at his back for a minute. “Niall…”

He turns to look at you. “What?”

“You look like a 90s heartthrob, what the fuck?”

His smirk grows and he crosses his arms over his chest and your eyes move over his arms. “Oh yeah? Am I gettin’ ya worked up over der?”

Leaning your head back, you close your eyes. “I hate you.” Niall laughs loudly.

It’s clear Niall is in a good mood again tonight. He’s a little less talkative and definitely a little less emotional than the night before. Even from up in the suite, you catch him throwing waves and winks in your direction and you know several are meant for Lucy, who waves enthusiastically back every time.

The band starts setting up for the acoustic set and Niall spends a minute talking to the crowd before they start to play. You typically know what the setlist is going to look like before the show, so you are absolutely floored when he starts playing “Paper Houses”. It’s your absolute favorite song, something he knows, and suddenly you’re just mouthing the words as you start to cry.

They’re happy tears. Grateful for how far the two of you have come. Proud of him for how far he’s come. You’re so in love with this man, it almost hurts. He’s sitting down, playing the guitar and he glances in the direction of your suite. Logically, you know there’s no way he can actually see you, but you don’t care. You blow him a kiss and lay your hand on your heart, hopeful that he just knows.

—————

It’s almost weird being back on the bus, despite the fact that you’d only spent two nights in the hotel in New York.

After the show had ended, you and your family had gone backstage and spent some time with Niall and the band. It had been a big group, family and friends for everyone just celebrating. In truth, all you’d wanted to do was get your boyfriend alone.

Finally, everyone had started to shuffle out and the band had started to make their way out to the buses. You and Niall had loaded onto yours, making your excuses about wanting to be alone, heading to the bedroom in the back. You and Niall had taken a shower together, mostly just to be close as the tour bus showers weren’t really big enough for anything too exciting.

Afterwards, you’d spent a very long time showing Niall just how proud you were of him, how much you loved him. In the end, it left both of you sweaty and shaking as you lay there. The tv was on, reruns of something neither of you were paying attention to playing with the sound off, the light flickering over both of you tangled in the sheets.

With a sigh, you adjust until you’re laying on your stomach, ear over Niall’s heart. The steady thump is soothing and you close your eyes. “You played my favorite.” You say softly, running your fingers up and down his chest.

His chest rumbles as he hums. “I did. Wanted ta surprise you.”

“Definitely a surprise.”

He shifts a bit under you, the arm behind you wrapping over your shoulders. “Ya liked it?”

You lift your head to meet his eyes. He looks so soft and rumpled and you swear it actually tugs at your heart. “I loved it.”

“Good.” He smiles and you lean down to press a kiss to his peck before you lay your head back down. The two of you lapse back into silence and Niall’s breathing slows enough that you think he’s fallen asleep. You’re slowly drifting off, body and mind content, when he squeezes at your shoulder. “Hey, you asleep?”

“Not yet.” You breathe out.

“Come ‘ere.” The two of you shift and sleepily work together until you’re further up the bed, legs tangled, your head on Niall’s upper arm as you face each other.

Reaching your hand up, you rub at his scalp and run your fingers down the side of his face. “What’s going on, honey?”

“Just wanted to look at ya.” He says softly and if you weren’t already a puddle from earlier, you’d honestly melt at the look in his eyes. “I love you, ya know dat?”

You smile at him. “I think I’ve heard it a few times.” His lips twitch up slightly. “I love you too. So much, Ni.”

His free hand caresses your waist, curling around your hip and drawing your body that much closer. The two of you lay there in silence and your eyes drift shut as you listen to him breathe. He takes a deep breath, tangling his fingers with yours.

“Marry me.”

Your eyes flutter open, meeting the startling blue of his. His gaze is resolute and you swallow against the emotions building in your chest. “Are you-?”

“Don’t ask me if ‘m sure. I’ve never been more sure of anyting in me life.” His hand leaves your hip in favor of cupping your cheek. “There is nothing more I want than to spend da rest of my life wit you. I want ta experience every good moment with you. And I want to experience every bad moment wit ya too. I want everything with you. Your name is branded all over me heart, darlin’ and I’d rather carve it out than ever be without ya.” You sniffle and Niall smiles as he wipes a few tears off your cheek. “So, Y/N, marry me?”

You smile, nodding into his arm. “Yes.”

Niall’s face lights up and he pulls you in tighter, fingers gripping your flesh hard enough to bruise, but you don’t care. “Yeah?” He asks breathlessly.

Hands on either side of his face, you lean in and kiss him, both of you gasping into each other. You pull back slightly, your nose brushing his as you smile at him.

“Yeah.”

——————

A/N: And there we have it kiddos. Flicker of Hope is officially over.

…Unless I suddenly get inspired or one of you gives me a prompt I fall in love with lol. It was never not going to end this way for me. These two were always end game.

I hope you liked it ❤️

#it’s weird that this is over #it’s been 7 years like wtf #like I’m crying on the plane posting this in my drafts because a)I never thought I’d finish it and b)I’m sad it’s over #flicker of hope #my writing #niall horan #Niall Horan fic #niall horan blurb #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan imagine

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