#{{ yes we are still thinking about childe. no we probably won't shut up about it anytime soon }}

[frozenambiguity]

Tfw your beloved storms the Fontainian court, ready to spill some truths to the supreme judges, kick some ass, and show them who's the boss, all while being visionless — dreamy sigh.

[hyperfixatedoncrimminalminds]

Aaron Hotchner X Derek Morgan X ADHD Autistic teen reader

Summary: Aaron Hotchner and Derek Morgan interrogate a 14 year old daughter of Unsub who has ADHD and is autistic, she was abused by her father her whole life. A bomb gets set off and she protects them

Third person pov...

14 year old Y/N had been in a small interrogation room for the last hour alone, your probably wondering how she knows that because she's been keeping count in her head.

Early on that day the police came looking for her farther but he wasn't there, instead she got taken to the police station and handcuffed (after she accidentally lashed out when they touched her) she's autistic and doesn't like touch- the police didn't listen when she tried to explain to them.

So here she sits, for the last 5 minutes she has been tapping her foot repeatedly on the floor, she has ADHD and couldn't sit still for long, but she was handcuffed to the table so she couldn't stand up and stim.

She then started humming the same tune over and over and over until a man shouts at her to shut up over the com. "Someone's grumpy" she mutters, deciding to go back to tapping her foot repeatedly.

She was beginning to get overwhelmed with everything. "Can I go now please?" She asks into the room but obviously towards the two way mirror.

She got no response. "Please, I don't like it here" she whispers shouting not going to work she realised, suddenly the door is opened two men walk in.

Y/N tenses, with her dad she doesn't like being around men, angling her body away from them she waits until they speak.

Eyebrows slams a files down on the table making her flinch at the loud sound, the Grumpy looking man just stares. "What- Do you know what these are?" He demands, Y/N shakes her head not looking at the man.

She looks down then shuts her eyes. "N-no I don't please" she cries squeezing her eyes shut not wanting to look at the pictures, they where of the victims died in the bombings that happened.

"I don't like it here" she cries pulling on the cuffs trying desperately to yank them off, eyebrows tries to grab her to stop but she kicks out. "No don't touch" she cries almost in hysterics.

Eyebrows holds up his hands and moved out of reach. "Okay I won't touch you, we won't touch you Y/N" he says teying desperately to calm her down.

Grumpy pants- as Y/N dubbed, walked out of the room putting his phone tk his ear, Hotch calls Penelope. "Yello" "Garica, Y/N L/Ns file does it have anything about mental disorders or anything like that?" He asks confused with the girls strong reactions.

After a few seconds Penelope gets back. "It says here that she is Autistic and has ADHD sir" Hotch thinks "that makes sense, thanks Garica" "your welcome Bossman" Hotch then walks back into the room.

Derek is far away from the girl. "Morgan" Derek walks over. "We forgot one thing that all the victims have in common, they are all neurodivergent in some way" he explains to the man.

They then both look over at the girl, she was back to tapping her foot repeatedly

"Y/N, are you autistic?" Asks Hotch, the girl nods her head. "Yes I am, I tried to explain to the idiots in blue but they wouldn't listen" she says it was the most they heard her say.

"Can I have these off now please?" She asks, her voice quiet like she expected to be shouted at. Derek looks ar Hotch the man nods his head. "Sure" he says and unlocks Y/N hands.

The 14 year old instantly jumps up from the desk, absently rubbing her red wrists, she begins pacing back and forth flapping her hands. The men watch her as she stims.

"We just want to talk to you about your father." Says Hotch, Y/N stops stimming and looked up at them with wide, frightened eyes.

She was small in stature, but her piercing gaze held a hint of strength that took the two seasoned agents by surprise. "My father is a monster" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Hotchner and Morgan exchanged a knowing glance. They had seen this before – the child of an Unsub who had been subjected to unimaginable abuse and trauma.

"Y/N does you father treat you well?" Asks Derek carefully, Y/N looks down she nervously rings her fingers as she thinks.

"He doesn't" she confesses. "He hates that I'm different, he thinks it's wrong and tries to beat the 'retardness' out of me" she confesses crying as she paces back and forth in the little space.

Hotch and Morgan eye each other from the corner of their eyes then look at Y/N.

"We know, hes a monster which is why we need to find him" Morgan replied gently. 'But we need your help to find him. We believe he may be planning to harm more people.'

Y/N hesitated for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip as she thought. Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper. It was a map, with a clearly marked location circled in red.

'That's where he's keeping his bombs" she said, sliding the paper across the table. Hotchner and Morgan looked at each other in shock.

They had been searching for those bombs for weeks, and here it was, handed to them by a scared teenage girl.

They immediately sprang into action, calling for backup and racing to the location. But as they arrived, they realized that Y/N had also been telling the truth about another thing – her father had taught her how to make bombs.

Before they could even process the situation, a loud explosion ripped through the air. Hotchner and Morgan were thrown back by the blast, but they were quickly pulled to safety by Y/N who had shielded them with her own body.

She lay unconscious, her small frame protecting them from the debris, Y/N was rushed to the hospital, and after a few days, she regained consciousness.

Hotchner and Morgan were there, by her bedside, along with a team of doctors and nurses who were amazed by her bravery.

"We couldn't have stopped him without you,' Hotchner said, his voice filled with sincerity, the girl looked up at them and smiled weakly. "Can I be part of your team now?" She asked, her eyes sparkling with hope.

Hotchner and Morgan shared a smile, knowing that Y/N had found a new family in the Behavioral Analysis Unit. Despite the darkness of her past, she had shown courage and strength that they had rarely seen before.

And as they welcomed her into their team, they knew that together, they could take on anything that came their way.

The end!

Hope you liked this one shot sorry for the late update been a busy week but I am now on Christmas break and will update regularly.

As usual sorry for any spelling and grammar mistakes.

Request are open!

Word count: 1204

[leupagus]

I've said it before, but Stannis and Sansa are have a Bitch Solidarity thing going and I really appreciate that about them

x

"Lady Brienne saw Arya in the Riverlands, or so she claimed."

"Yes, a captive of Sandor Clegane. I won't say I wasn't glad that Brienne killed him, but I almost wish…" She made a vague gesture with her hands, as though herself unsure of what she wished to convey. "The Hound was dangerous, and the gods only knew what he planned to do with Arya in the first place. Probably ransom her to whatever lord would pay the best coin. But she was likely safer with him than anyone else in the Seven Kingdoms." She cleared her throat. "Perhaps she ran off to Braavosi after all."

"After all?"

"Her dance instructor at King's Landing was from there. Arya hated it in King's Landing, but she loved her dancing lessons. Whenever we'd fight — which was every day, usually two or three times — she'd scream that she was going to run away to Braavosi with Syrio and—" she broke off. "What is it?"

Stannis coughed. "Syrio Forel?"

"I think so," Lady Sansa said, frowning. "It's been years, but that sounds right. I always thought it was strange; she hated dancing as a child. Tonight would have been torture for her," she added ruefully. Stannis coughed again. "I doubt very much your sister was learning any reels," he said. "Syrio Forel was the First Sword of Braavos, master of the art of water dancing. If she was trained by Syrio Forel, she's far more likely to be alive." The odds still approached zero, but at least there were odds.

Lady Stark gaped at him. "What?"

"Water dancing. It's a form of swordplay that—"

"Yes, thank you, I just realized," she said, holding a hand up. She shut her eyes as though in pain. "My father swore to me Arya was getting dancing lessons to 'take away some of her wild energy' and 'teach her what she needed to learn.' No wonder she looked so happy when she came back from lessons! And she would still step on my feet whenever we practiced reels together!" Her outrage was as fresh as if the offense had occurred a bare hour ago, instead of years past.

[chainsandmorechains]

I still don't fully understand why, but some people love rape threats, more than loving them they beg for it.

I'm not judging them, nor you for liking it if you love it, after all, everyone has their own tastes, I, for example, have some reprehensible tastes too possibly worse than yours but it's all a question of opinion here, also I like to think that I matured over the mentality of a 3-year-old child that disrespects someone for their differences no, no, I'm not judging anyone for that nor will give any excuses if I do.

If I want to disrespect someone, or you reader, I probably won't ever use anything of that sort, no if I want to disrespect you I'll do it, without hiding behind any kind of excuses or differences you may hold.

Why would I do that?

Because I want to of course, what else?

You may ponder why I'm talking about that right now when I'm only supposed to talk about rape threats and to answer your restless mind let me simply tell you that the reason I did that was to introduce you to the rest of that message, it was to establish in your mind the fact that if I want to do something no matter how dumb or insane it is, as long as it isn't a danger to my survival well I'll probably fucking do it.

That's why you shouldn't question why I suddenly want to become the best pokemo-! I mean the best rape threatener(?)in the world, well I want to be the person on earth who send and creates the best rape threats.

Why would I want that? Like I said you really shouldn't question it if you don't want to start getting mad, my incredible thought process is way out of the league of mortals like you.

But if you really need some answer well yes, it may be because I have a small obsession with becoming the best at everything I do, and yes it may also be because I want to assert my dominance maybe, just maybe.

What's sure however, is that I shall need to practice to reach my goal of unofficial best… rape-threatener in the world, let's call it like that shall we, measuring progress is also simply essential for my goal, and that's where YOU come in, Yep you, the best way to measure how amazing my rape threat is by showing them to someone who loves rape threat and seeing if they get horny.

But I'm too lazy to send one rape threat to multiple people and then measure their level of arousal, that's why I shall use this post as a way to potentially gain attention and test my rape threats on you all.

Now let's start for real, if you're not interested in hearing my great being threatening you, well firstly you're missing something there, and secondly…why are you still here? It's time for a strategic retreat.

If you're still there, shut up, go grab your favorite beverage or put your hand on your privates, and let me use you like a good little lab rat, test subjects are hard to come by these days.

Cough cough

I could try to start this threat with some beautifully woven words, but considering the fact that I currently just want to grab your head and slam it against the nearest piece of furniture before raping your holes, I won't. I wouldn't hesitate even for a measly second to fuck you until you're a drooling mess that can only mutter "sorry" again and again pathetically, the only thing I would hesitate on would be between abusing your warm and moist lips on your face or abusing your pluckable asshole, so many choices, what a hard dilemma, but don't worry too much about waiting for too long while I do my decision, I'll keep you busy by choking you with your own underwear, can't have you screaming around.

I want to rape you with animalistic violence that almost none could replicate, I want to ruin you, I want this to be both the worst and best experience of your life, I want those contrary thoughts to corrupt your mind and mold it into something, something else, something new, something better (only for me), I want to ravage you so brutally that you would associate this situation with rock bottom, I'll feed myself from the despair in your eyes and I'll be sure to teach you a very important lesson.

When you think you're at your worst, everything can still get much much worse.

I'll teach you that by kidnapping you in a place where no one could ever find you, it's simply the natural step forward After doing something like that, can't have you run away or believe that you will sagely and docilely submit to me after making you suffer only one traumatizing experience, No for myself to be convinced of your submission I need a secure place for me to throw you in and fuck you every fucking day, every fucking hour, every fucking minutes, and every FUCKING seconds of your new life.

Don't worry about stopping, It's been a while already since I mastered orgasmic control, a pretty neat trick it helps get rid of a pesky thing you certainly know under the name of the refractory period, I mean it doesn't actually change the refractory period of an individual, and it has the little side effect on me not being able to cum if I want to lose my streak but don't worry about that, if you're worried about my pleasure well it's actually way more pleasurable for me to fuck like that, and also it's not like you will really be able to reflect on that when your mind is overflowing with pain, pleasure, and despair, or whatever else your twisted mind has created.

You shouldn't have the time to focus on anything else but my dick slamming in your holes, oh maybe you will be able to sense all of the different positions I would put you in tough.

But don't you even worry I may be evil but I have no intention to let you die, nope, I'll give you enough nutriment in the form of food covered by my cum, it will even be in a dogbowl, aren't I'm generous? I'll make sure to make you worship my feets in order for you to understand how charitable I am.

Oh, don't you need to drink too, don't worry I'm too damn awesome to have forgotten about that, I'll be sure to spit water or juice in your mouth when I hydratate myself.

Yeah I know I'm a magnanimous man.

May teach you some tricks too, I always wanted a pet, how does a cat cosplay sounds like? Want to have one while you're chained down under my desk and worshipping my dick? No? You don't want it? Whatever I don't care I'll still make you wear one and force you to clean yourself with my cum as if you were a cat cleaning itself.

Ohhhhh I should give you oversized paw gauntlets…this right here is a genius Idea.

Even if that sounds like a bad fate you should focus on the positive, with how much sex is a streneuous activity, you will be fit as fuck when everything is finished.

Well not like there would be an end.

[katjacunt]

Touya Todoroki (Dabi) Headcannons

SO = Significant Other

1- He can't cook anything but bacon and he makes it on his body so he needs his SO to cook for him

2- He can dye your hair with you, cuz he's gotten good at it

3- Many people know about his daddy issues but this man has MOMMY ISSUES, we all saw that scene

4- Possabliy mommy kink...

5-He will not sleep with a blanket on with his SO in bed in case he would get too hot and his quirk would start up

6- He's probably going to like someone with the same view on parents and other things as him, maybe someone who has dealt with the same things he has

7- His SO will have to know how to bandage things (You could be like me who just had a mother who went to school to be a nurse and an older brother who is a klutz. You could just learn a few random things)

8- He is still a rich kid, don't be fooled, he still has the 'i want it my way and no other way' spoiled-kid rutein. Just because he didn't get attention doesn't mean that he didn't get fansy toys and things, besides we all know the oldest child is a practice run but parents still spoil them

9- This guy may be dark and mysterious but he is not shy but his SO might be a bit

10- I like the idea that Dabi's SO has a lot of social anxiety or doesn't like people or is a people pleaser introvert

11- He won't text his SO, but he will call on those rare occasions where he is bleeding out somewhere

12- Yes, yes, yes, he is possecive, not to a fault though. He may watch someone mess around with his SO because he thinks it's funny how he's just going to walk up there and kill them, so you know, his sadistic self, the usual.

13- He would hate seeing his SO hurt it would remind him of his mother or of him as a child, probably the thing that can piss him off real bad

14- He would laugh if his SO burnt themselves of the stove on accident or something though

15- If he is feeling fancy or romantic he will put a ciggarette in his SO's mouth to light it with his pinky

16- He would not die for his SO, He would die for calling his father out on all his shit

17-This guy needs a more resilient person because, he's Dabi, the sassy-lassy, someone who can deal with his shenanigans with a grain of salt

18- I mostly see him with a very pretty emo or goth or grunge someone but I mean he could have a corruption kink too...

19- He does not care about any of the celebrities, unless it's a hero he does or doesn't like

20- He doesn't like a lot of talking so his SO will have to be able to shut up a lot

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: Chapter 9

Chapter 8

♡———♡

Kate: Wait a minute! We have to meet up with Roger!

Alfons: He'll be fine on his own.

He pushes me into the carriage and shouts into the air.

Alfons: Roger, just go back to the castle!

(Just go back...!)

Alfons: There, now we can relax. Let's go.

Alfons gets in after me and slams the carriage door shut. The carriage starts to move.

(I hope Roger heard that...)

Alfons: It's fine. He's not a child.

Alfons: He's the kind of man who enjoys a barbaric sport like boxing, you know? He won't die even if you kill him.

In contrast to me, who keeps looking back in worry, Alfons is sitting comfortably in the opposite seat.

Kate: But, asking him to come with me and then going home first is a bit...

Alfons: Ah ha! You're still so damn serious.

Alfons claps his hands.

I sigh at the familiar gesture, not even angry anymore.

(It doesn't look like he'll stop the carriage... And as Alfons said, Roger will probably be fine.)

(I'll apologize to him profusely later...)

I switch my mind from the sudden return to the castle and look at Alfons in front of me again.

The scene I saw earlier, the story I heard--I had countless questions about him.

Kate: Why are you calling yourself a noble, Alfons?

Alfons: ...Well, it just happened.

Alfons: I heard that those so-called nobles live amusing and ridiculous lives.

Alfons: I was trying to get in good with a pediatrician and get some scraps from the nobles' houses, but then the doctor died during a house call to Lord El's mansion.

Kate: What!?

I open my eyes wide in surprise at the shocking episode.

Alfons: I was thinking about what to do from the next day, when Lord El asked me to live in the mansion.

Alfons: So I just settled in.

Alfons: He said it would be disgraceful to be by El's side without a proper title, so I just called myself a noble.

(Wow, that sounds like a lie...)

Truth is stranger than fiction... This story embodies that saying.

But the scene I glimpsed tonight gave credence to his explanation.

Kate: The reason you're doing that for the people in the slums...

Kate: Is it because you know their... suffering and pain?

Alfons: If your theory that those actions are "for them" is true, then maybe it is.

"If so," "maybe"--the usual phrases that conceal the truth.

Kate: ...You always dodge the question like that.

I turn away, and suddenly...

Alfons: Hehe, don't pout your lips like that.

Kate: ...Huh?

He pokes the tip of my lips, and my heart jumps.

Alfons: I feel like kissing these lovely thorns.

(I've been through more intense things than having my lips touched--)

(Why am I... so nervous about something so trivial?)

I know that words like "cute" and "kiss" are lighter than "hello" to him.

I glare up at Alfons, and

Alfons: ......

Our eyes meet, and my heart skips a beat again.

(Alfons is making such lover-like gestures...)

Sweet illusions come flooding back, and my eyes are involuntarily drawn to his lips.

Alfons: ...Do you want me to kiss you?

Kate: What!? N-No...!

Alfons: Don't get so worked up. If you want to do it, you can.

Kate: I don't want to!

Alfons: Yes, yes. So, did you find my weakness?

Kate: ...

(Alfons always changes the subject like this...)

(It makes me feel embarrassed, like I'm the only one taking it seriously.)

(This is what's really sly about him.)

My cheeks are still flushed, but I try to ignore it and clear my throat to speak.

Kate: ...No, not at all. Because you told me so easily, it means...

Kate: Being an orphan and abusing your powers in the slums can't be considered a weakness, can they?

Alfons: Well, who knows?

Alfons: I don't know if anyone else besides El and Roger knows that I was an orphan.

Kate: What!?

(...That's a lie, right?)

Kate: Victor and William don't know either...?

Alfons: Well, those two might know.

Alfons: Jude might have sniffed it out, too, but that's about it.

Alfons: If it were spread around in social circles, it might have the effect of further eroding my already non-existent credibility, wouldn't it?

(He told me so easily... So then...)

Kate: ...Do the people at the tavern and your "friends" know?

Alfons: Ah ha! Of course not. We don't reveal our identities to each other more than necessary.

Alfons: Reality is not necessary for a convenient relationship.

(...So that's how it is.)

It's probably common knowledge among the members of "Crown," but whether it's due to lack of interest or manners, information about Alfons isn't openly discussed.

He doesn't reveal his identity at all to the people with whom he shares his rotten private life.

So it seems.

Kate: ...Then

Kate: Why did you tell me?

"Reality is not necessary for a convenient relationship."

(If those words are true, then my relationship with him is different from the others...?)

I stare at Alfons, my heart pounding for some reason.

Alfons: Hmm, well...?

He puts his hand on his chin as if thinking--.

Alfons: ...Well, who knows? I don't know either.

He laughs lightly and shrugs.

Alfons: Maybe I was moved by your tearful determination to follow me all the way to that place.

(Oh, so... There wasn't any special intention.)

(But still... There's no doubt that Alfons told me the truth.)

With a faint smile on his face, Alfons looks out the window.

(That smile doesn't look happy at all.)

(But... This smile is... somehow)

(It feels like Alfons.)

This thirsty smile, with his lips twisted in self-mockery, somehow suits him.

Thinking about that... my heart lifts a little again.

It's like my fingertips brushed against a mirage.

Like I found the tail of a rainbow.

It's like I was able to grasp the shape of something uncertain.

Kate: ...I'll stop sneaking around and trying to find your weaknesses.

Alfons: ...Huh?

Kate: I'm more interested in your true feelings than your weaknesses.

Kate: I want to face you properly, Alfons.

Alfons: .............

The words spilled out before I even thought about it.

And as soon as I said them, I felt like my feelings had taken a clear shape.

(I... want to know more about Alfons.)

(The more I know, the more I want to know the true nature of this mysterious person.)

Kate: So, if I can get to know you better,

Kate: I don't mind being your "exclusive" Fairytale Keeper.

Alfons: ...Oh?

The corner of his lips curves sensually.

Alfons: So, I assume you're okay with doing this kind of thing with me?

Kate: ? W-what...?

Suddenly, a breath drew near—and before she knew it, Alfons' eyes were right in front of hers.

Kate: Huh!?

Kate: Th-that's... different!

She hurriedly pressed her hand against Alfons' mouth, stopping his kiss.

Alfons: ... Heh

But he wasn't going to back down that easily—his warm tongue licked the palm of her hand that she was pressing against him.

Kate: H-hey...!?

She reflexively pulled her hand back, and Alfons laughed teasingly.

Alfons: You can't resist things like this, so I was thinking of using that as your weakness, you know?

Kate: I-if you don't touch my nape, I can prevent this with my willpower!

Alfons: I doubt you were able to prevent it completely just now, though?

(Ugh...)

Alfons leaned over me, his hands on either side of my legs, watching me with amusement.

His red tongue darted out from between his thin lips.

I feel like prey—about to be devoured at any moment.

Alfons: That's right. The other day, when we did something naughty behind the bar, I wasn't using my ability.

Alfons: Didn't you end up melting into a gooey mess?

---CHOICES---

It's Alfons' fault

It's my fault

It was that strange smoke

----------------

Kate: B-But, that was... something, some weird smoke...

Alfons: It seems that scent draws out the desires sleeping in one's subconscious.

Alfons: It means that Kate secretly desired to be pampered and spoiled... doesn't it?

Kate: ...

Alfons is probably looking at me with my ears burning red, rolling his eyes with amusement.

Alfons: So, what will you blame it on now?

Kate: ...hm...!

Before I knew it, both of my wrists were restrained, and my lips were stolen in an instant.

Kate: Hmm...n...

I try to resist, but my restrained hands won't budge.

I'm pulled closer, and my butt almost slips off the seat.

Kate: Ah...n...!

His tongue knew exactly how to indulge in pleasure, and her body melted after being touched countless times.

Finally freed, her right hand couldn't bring itself to push his away, instead clinging to his frock coat.

Alfons: It's because I was flustered by the strange sight, because the carriage was shaking...

Alfons: If you need an excuse, I can give you plenty.

Alfons: If you don't resist, it might damage your dignity, and I wouldn't want that.

Alfons: You can keep pretending to resist like that forever, if you like.

His left hand stroked her thigh, then pulled up her skirt.

Kate: Oh, no... no, no...

My heart pounded with anticipation, and a wave of pleasure washed over me.

Alfons: It's only going to be less than a month anyway... Let's have some fun, Kate.

His sweet, husky voice sent a shiver down my spine.

Alfons: Because you like feeling good, don't you?

Kate: N-no, I don't...

He wasn't touching my neck.

But I couldn't bring myself to reject his outstretched hand.

(I don't like feeling good.)

(I wasn't that easy.)

(This is just because it's Alfons...)

I'm being influenced by him, my sense of morality is warped and twisted.

It's all Alfons' fault.

(Always like this... Because of Alfons, I'm drowning in pleasure, losing my mind...)

(I have no idea what Alfons thinks or feels about this...)

(I've never had the time to even try to figure it out.)

I want to see if this person who says they "love pleasure" actually feels good -

That thought emerges, further warping my sense of ethics.

(B-But...!)

Kate: Ah... N-No, this is wrong... Not in a carriage like this...

Alfons: ...Then, where should we do it?

Ah--

I realize that I've already consented to this act, and my whole body burns with shame.

Alfons: Your bed? But... Can you hold out that long?

Kate: Ah... I...

His lips gently touched my parted lips.

Sealing my excuses.

Alfons: Shh... You don't have to answer me directly.

Alfons: It's easier if you can blame me later, right?

He slowly pulls up the hem of my skirt.

The cold air brushed against my legs, and I gripped my skirt tightly.

Kate: W-wait a minute. Really, not here–

Alfons: Ah ha!

Alfons: How can you say no from the start when you haven't even done it yet?

Her hand was brushed away, and the hem of her skirt was lifted up to her waist.

Kate: Ah–

I tried to hold back his fingertips from trying to penetrate even deeper, but then---

Kate: Kyah!?

Alfons: Oh

The carriage wheels jolted with a loud thud.

My hips, barely on the seat, were lifted off the ground, and I lost my balance, throwing myself into the chest of Alfons, who was seated in front of me.

Kate: I-I'm sorry––

The moment I tried to hastily pull away, he firmly clasped my waist and placed me on his lap, smiling broadly.

Alfons: See...it's all the carriage's fault that you're getting so worked up in this place...

.

.

.

.

.

.

Chapter 10

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[thegreenleavesofspring]

Silence for a few minutes. The cloud of Billie’s thoughts all but filling the room like a smoke as she stares down at the blankets, her legs drawn up cross-legged on the mattress. A tear hits the sweats with the softest of sounds, and another, and when she finally looks up at Nell her face is painted with them. She says like she’s begging for something, “He can’t love me. I don’t deserve it.”

Nell comes and sits on the bed beside her, wrapping an arm around Billie's shoulders. "None of us deserve to be loved, child. We're all broken angry selfish horrible people. But we were also made to love and be loved and we do. Do you still love Mattie when she's having a shrieking fit? Do you still love Brian when he's at his most provoking? Deserving has nothing to do with it. It can't."

For a moment Billie stiffens but then she lays her head down very slowly on Nell’s shoulder. “Were you even listening the other day? When I was screaming like a harpy? We’re not talking shrieks and provoking. We’re talking… terrible things. And there is nothing stopping me from going right back to them.”

"Yes, I was." Nell rubs her hand up and down Billie's arm. "There is a Love that covers a multitude of sins, child."

“He thinks he can cover them but he can’t. That’s what’s so stupid about all this. He thinks he can just breeze in here and everything will be better. But it’s not better. It’s getting bad again.”

"I don't mean Brian, child – although he does love you, and he won't let it go back to the way it was before – I'm talking about someone Who can help you change entirely, and wash away all that guilt and shame you're dragging around."

Quiet for a moment. “I don’t think that’s possible. It’s like it’s… it’s all just fact now. It’s like toothpaste out of the tube. Rancid, poisonous toothpaste. And now I get to watch my family smear it around.”

Nell smiles a little out the window, eyes soft and thoughtful, and begins to sing under her breath. "What can wash away my sin, nothing but the blood of Jesus. What can make me whole again? Nothing but the blood of Jesus." She blinks and looks down at Billie. "Toothpaste can be wiped up, child. Thrown in the trash to never be a problem again."

“It can’t be. This is how it is here. You’ve been here long enough now to see. It’s like a… curse or something. Riser thinks he’ll be able to love Nik enough and talk to her enough and whip her enough and she won’t grow up to be just another knocked-up, drugged-out Indian girl. But he’s wrong. He’s wrong because she’s mine and the bell’s already been rung. You can’t unring it.”

"But it can ring a new song, child. Yours can ring a new song. Nikki's can ring a new song," Nell insists. "Child. Look at me. Look at me."

Billie does, slowly, as if her head weighs a thousand pounds.

"Your past is foul, child. Mired in darkness and sorrow and brokenness and corruption," Nell says fiercely. "But so are we all. And you do not have to remain mired in that darkness and death. There is a helping hand that has been extended and waiting for you for years, waiting for you to take it. Will you lift your head out the mud of your own shame and look?"

Billie’s eyes scrunch shut. “You sound like my grandmother.”

"Do I?" Nell asks, rather amused. "So you have seen the hand. Why would you prefer to flop around in the mud then? Do you think that hand can't pull you out?"

“I don’t… I don’t know how to take ahold of it.”

Nell ponders a moment. "What has your grandmother told you about the man named Jesus?"

Billie paints a weary hand down the side of her face. “That he was… God. That he was… I don’t understand it. That God made a law and humans broke it and instead of punishing them he punished… himself? I don’t…” She drags her fingers over her eye. “And then the Great Spirit made coyotes out of someone’s liver or something, probably, I don’t… it’s just… mythology.” She lifts her head and looks at Nell and says like she’s suddenly begging, “It’s just mythology.”

"It is not," Nell contradicts firmly, but she is smiling a little. "Look at the world around you, Billie. Do you not see the hand of the Creator in it? In your infant child you are carrying?"

“I don’t know what I see. I see the wind. It’s always winter. I see my children raped and dead in a ditch when I sleep. My grandmother sees things before they happen. The only difference is she’s not afraid.”

"Would you like to not be afraid?"

“The only time I’m not afraid is when I sleep next to your son. And now I’ve ruined that, too.”

"I can tell you of a Comforter Who is with you always."

Billie laughs a little with her eyes closed. “Now that would be something.”

"It is something," Nell says earnestly. "His hands around me were the only thing keeping me going some days. Some years."

“So why you. Why you and not me? Nothing has kept me going. No hands. None but Riser’s and I have… slapped them off.”

"Because I have accepted that outstretched helping hand, child, and you have not. But it's still there. It will be there waiting for you your whole life." Nell adds rather dryly, "And despite his promises I very much doubt you've slapped Brian's hands away for good."

Billie’s eyes slide shut. She says very softly, “I think I need a few minutes.”

Nell pats her arm and stands. "I'll be here all day if you want to talk more." She goes out.

-From the last chapter of Clans of the Coyote-Girl

[shiningwonderland]

Syo Kurusu (Repeat)

Translator: Terry (Twitter: turtlemudge), Raz (Twitter: agnadance)

Editor: Snail (Twitter: herbert_snail)

December — Upbeat Dance

Last month, to convince Kaoru-kun to return home, Syo-kun and I pretended to be dating, but…

… I guess something about doing that has made me feel strangely self-conscious, and I've been unable to look Syo-kun in the eye ever since. 

I'm aware that it was just for show, of course, but… still… 

I thought he was about to kiss me… While that left quite an impression, I ended up realizing that if it was Syo-kun, I would probably be fine with that…

I can't help remembering that moment every time our eyes meet. 

I thought that I would stop feeling so flustered after a few days, but… it still hasn't stopped. 

I can talk to him, and it hasn't stopped us from working together normally… or so I hope, but then again I should probably be making eye contact when I speak to him. 

Syo Kurusu: Um, so… Haruka. About this month's—

Haruka Nanami: Y-yes! W-what is it?

Ack! I get so startled that I squeak a bit when I answer him. 

Syo Kurusu: Ah… well… Y'know what, never mind....

Haruka Nanami: …

Ren Jinguji: Hey, Icchi. What do you think that was...? 

Tokiya Ichinose: … What do you mean, "that"?

Ren Jinguji: Is it just me, or have things between the Lady and Shorty been a bit awkward lately? 

Tokiya Ichinose: I agree that there's been something strange between those two lately. You do realize that it isn't something we should involve ourselves in though, don't you?

Ren Jinguji: You're so cold. You won't get many fans that way. 

Tokiya Ichinose: I apologize if I seem cold. As their friend, I am concerned about both of them.  

Ren Jinguji: Then don't you think we should do something about it? As their friends? 

Tokiya Ichinose: … I truly think this is a situation in which outsiders shouldn't interfere. If we get mixed up in it, we may only complicate things further. 

Ren Jinguji: There is that, but it depends on how we handle it…

Tokiya Ichinose: … What are you getting at? 

Ren Jinguji: Heh. You just sit back and enjoy the show. 

Tokiya Ichinose: You're such a pain.

Syo Kurusu: Uh so! About the Christmas dance…

Haruka Nanami: ??? The Christmas dance…? 

Syo Kurusu: Yeah, I was wondering if you wanted to…

As Syo-kun is speaking, Jinguji-san comes over, slipping right next to me and putting an arm around my shoulders. 

Ren Jinguji: Yo, Lady. Have you chosen your partner for the Christmas dance? 

Haruka Nanami: … It's a dance party…? 

That's right, Syo-kun was about to say something about dancing…

Ren Jinguji: Yeah, it's the Christmas event. Male and female students pair off for ballroom dancing. 

Haruka Nanami: Um… I… I've never done that kind of dancing, so… Um… I don't really think I can…

Ren Jinguji: Oh, really? In that case, let me show you. 

Saying this, Jinguji-san wraps an arm around my torso. 

Haruka Nanami: U-um…

Ren Jinguji: Your hand goes here. 

Haruka Nanami: Eh… uh, okay…

As instructed, I place my hand on Jinguji-san's shoulder. 

Ren Jinguji: Bring your body closer… Close enough that you could bury your face into my chest…

He pulls me firmly towards himself.

Haruka Nanami: Ah, you know… actually…

Ren Jinguji: That's it. Just keep your eyes on me, Lady. 

Syo Kurusu: Gaaahh!! Let go of her, you womanizer!!

Syo-kun gets between me and Jinguji-san and pulls us forcibly apart. 

Syo Kurusu: You!! 

Haruka Nanami: Yes, sir!! 

Syo Kurusu: Don't give him an opening like that! Or actually, from now on, don't go near him ever again!! 

Ren Jinguji: Hmph. So that's what you're going with? What right do you have over her? It's not like you're her boyfriend or anything.

Syo Kurusu: Shut up! This has nothing to do with you!

Haruka Nanami: Syo…kun?

Syo Kurusu: I just don't like it when I see somebody all over you.

Ren Jinguji: You're being a jealous child. How about you be a man and tell her that you like her?

Syo Kurusu: Shut up! That's not… what I mean… Don't lump me in with you!

Syo Kurusu: Romance isn't the only meaningful connection between people! 

Syo Kurusu: Stop making this all about dating! She's…

Syo Kurusu: She's my one and only, irreplaceable partner. There's no one who could ever take her place!

Syo Kurusu: I care for her. I will protect her with my own two hands.

Syo Kurusu: That's why I don't want her to get close to people like you. Got it?

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun… I also care about you.

Select the Phrase!

パートナーだと思ってます。 I think of him as a partner. (+10 Love +5 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Haruka… you think so, too?

Haruka Nanami: Yes! You're my valuable partner. No one can ever replace you.

Syo Kurusu: I see… Sorry for yelling earlier.

Haruka Nanami: No, it's fine…

Syo Kurusu: I don't hate Ren, but I know how many girls he's made cry…

Syo Kurusu: I don't ever want you to cry…

Ren Jinguji: Wow, that’s harsh. I’m an ally to every woman. That’s why I can’t settle on just one.

Ren Jinguji: I just think the little lady is very cute. I would never steal her away from her knight and make her cry.

Syo Kurusu: If that's what you really think, then be careful about how to approach her! You're going to make her freak out! Sheesh…

Ren Jinguji: I felt like messing with you because it's so frustrating to watch you two. Why not just be honest with yourselves…

Syo Kurusu: What are you spouting off about…

Haruka Nanami: ???

Ren Jinguji: I see, you two still don't understand, do you? Well, take your time. I'll be watching from the sidelines.

大切な人だと思ってます。I care for him. (+20 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: You are my idol who is dearer to me than anyone else.

Haruka Nanami: I want to do my very best with you from now on.

Ren Jinguji: I see, you two feel the same way about each other.

Haruka Nanami: ???

Ren Jinguji:  It's fine. Taking it easy has its own appeal.

友達だと思ってます。I think of him as a friend. (+0 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Um… so… He's not my boyfriend, or anything. I just like him as a friend…

Ren Jinguji: A friend… That's a convenient excuse. Oh well, that's fine, I guess…

Later that day after school…

We enter the recording room and start practicing, but for some reason, I still feel awkward around him.

We stare at our music sheets without uttering a word for some time…

Syo Kurusu: Um…

Syo-kun opens his mouth abruptly.

Syo Kurusu: So about the dance party that Ren was talking about this morning…

Haruka Nanami: Yes?

Syo Kurusu: Well… do you have anyone to dance with?

Haruka Nanami: Huh? Ah… um… I… am very bad at dancing… I think I'd just cause trouble…

Syo Kurusu: You can just practice!

Haruka Nanami: Yes, I know, but…

Syo Kurusu: Then… how about I dance with you?

Haruka Nanami: What…?

Syo Kurusu: I'm… your partner, after all… Also, it's a prince's duty to look after his servants.

Syo Kurusu: I'll teach you how to dance, so… um… don't dance with anyone else…

Syo-kun… Could it be that he had been trying to invite me this morning?

Haruka Nanami: Yes, sir. I will do my very best.

I bow my head in a humble manner.

Syo Kurusu: Great! I'm a strict teacher, so get ready to break a sweat!

His words are stern, but he grins from ear to ear.

Select the Phrase!

はいっ！Yes, sir!  (+5 Love +5 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Alright! Better keep up!

優しくしてください。Please be gentle with me. (+20 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: G-Gentle?! What are you saying…

Syo-kun's eyes shift nervously. Maybe trying to teach gently is difficult? But…

Haruka Nanami: In any rate, I know nothing because I've never done this before… I would like you to teach me step one…

Syo Kurusu: From step one? Gently…?

Syo-kun looks like he's thinking very hard about something.

Haruka Nanami: Yes… That's why… I would like you to teach me the beginner course!

Syo Kurusu: Course…? Okay, I'll do my best to teach you.

Haruka Nanami: Thank you!

厳しくお願いします。Please be strict with me. (+5 Love +5 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I don't want to cause you trouble during the actual dance, so please be as tough on me as possible!

Syo Kurusu: Of course! That's what I was planning from the start! I would expect nothing less from my servant. You've got guts!

Haruka Nanami: Yes, sir!

Syo Kurusu: First, I'll teach you waltz. You know the tempo of a waltz, right?

Haruka Nanami: Uhh…

Select the Phrase!

2拍子です。2/4 timing. (+0 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: You silly. Waltz is ¾ timing.

Haruka Nanami: Ah… I see…

3拍子です。¾ timing. (+0 Love +10 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Yes! It's ¾ timing! Great job!

He rubs my head.

When he praises me, I get so happy and feel like I want to try even harder.

4拍子です。4/4 timing. (+0 Love +0 Music)

Syo Kurusu: You dummy. Waltz is ¾ timing. That's obvious!

Haruka Nanami: Ah… Is that so…

Syo Kurusu: Sheesh. Your grades may be good, but you’re lacking in other places.

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry.

Syo Kurusu: I'll show you the proper way of doing it first. Try to do the same after watching me.

He starts doing the steps in front of me.

Syo Kurusu: You have to make clean steps. First, you step from your heel, and gracefully lower your foot starting from your ankle…

Ah… he's so cool!

Syo-kun is short but has good posture, so even when he is just walking, his movements are very precise and beautiful.

Haruka Nanami: So, like this…?

I try to move the way he taught me.

But something's off. He made it look so easy, but when I do it, it's completely different.

Syo Kurusu: You're exerting yourself too much. The tips of your toes are also facing outwards. Loosen up a bit.

Syo Kurusu: One, two, three. One, two, three. Like this!

Syo-kun stands right by my side and teaches me by placing his hands on me.

Haruka Nanami: Umm… One, two, three. One, two, three.

Syo Kurusu: Yes, like that! You can do it if you try! And… when we're dancing, don't think of us as prince and servant, but as prince and princess.

Haruka Nanami: Me, a princess…?

Syo Kurusu: That's right. Princes dance with princesses. I've never heard of a prince dancing with his servants.

Syo Kurusu: So since you're my princess right now, you better dance gracefully like one!

Haruka Nanami: Yes, my prince!

I… I'm a princess… I need to do my best!

Syo Kurusu: Okay, we're going to dance together now. Here…

Haruka Nanami: ...Okay.

He holds his hand out to me. When I place my hand on his, he pulls me to him.

Syo Kurusu: Hey… Grip my hand properly.

Haruka Nanami: Y-Yes…

Syo Kurusu: Also… if you don't get close enough to me, you won't be able to read my dance cues.

Haruka Nanami: L-like this…?

I step closer to him and press my belly against his.

Syo Kurusu: Yeah… but you have to get even closer… Yes, you have to be this close.

Haruka Nanami: Um…

Select the Phrase!

ドキドキします。My heart's pounding. (+20 Love +5 Music)

Syo Kurusu: Wha?! What are you talking about… Your heart's pounding?

Haruka Nanami: Can it be that you're feeling the same way, too?

Syo Kurusu: Huh? Ah… No! I've never felt that way in my life! Ever!

He blushes bright red and stammers. I hear his heart throbbing from our chests that are pressed against each other.

ちょっと恥ずかしいね。This is a little embarrassing. (+15 Love +5 Music)

Syo Kurusu: D-don't say that. This is just practice, so… there's nothing to feel embarrassed about…

Syo Kurusu: …

Haruka Nanami: …

I become self-aware and my face flushes.

顔・・・近いね・・・ Our faces are so close… (+5 Love +5 Music)

Since our heights are similar, our faces have ended up very close to each other's.

Syo Kurusu: Y-you idiot! Don't say that! Ahh, geez!

Bright red, his steps become a little uneven.

Ba-dump. Ba-dump.

My heartbeat and his heartbeat start accelerating. 

Syo Kurusu: Hey, Haruka… Look up. Don't look down…

Haruka Nanami: O-Okay…

The moment we make eye contact, my heart makes a loud thump.

Without missing a step, our faces go beet red and our hands heat up…

Syo Kurusu: Ugh… ah… Haa… haa… ha…

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun…?

Syo Kurusu: I'm fine. Don't look at me like that. I can keep going. I want to dance with you a little more.

He pulls me in by my waist even tighter.

Syo Kurusu: You… can relax more… Leave it all to me.

Haruka Nanami: O-Okay!

Ah… It's so easy to dance. Syo-kun is leading me so I can dance easily.

He has a good sense of rhythm. Every move he makes is sharp and unique to him.

Instead of forcing it out, he adjusts to his surroundings and knows when to make the right move.

He's still trying to accommodate me, but he brings out his best moves when he can.

I don’t think he does this consciously; this comes naturally to him.

I can feel this is Syo-kun's unique rhythm.

This is a chance for me to take inspiration from this feeling and put it in song.

I feel like I can make a song that can really accentuate his charm…

I want to feel more of him… his beat…

Syo Kurusu: Yeah… I think you've gotten a lot better. You have a good sense! That's what I like about you…

Syo Kurusu: Your songs… your rhythm… they feel good. I want to sing them forever.

Syo Kurusu: Forever and ever… I want to keep dancing with you, but…

Syo Kurusu: Ugh!

Syo-kun grimaces sharply, backs into the wall and sits down.

Syo Kurusu: Haa, haa, haa…

His breath is shallow… He's in pain.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun… A-are you okay? Should we go to the nurse's office? Or should I call the ambulance…?

Syo Kurusu: No, don't call them! This isn't a big deal!

I sit by Syo-kun's side and hug his shoulders.

I can't be of much help for him but I still want to support him.

But…

Syo Kurusu: Urgh…!

Syo-kun stands up.

Syo Kurusu: Sorry… I'm… going to cool off.

He runs outside.

Syo-kun… Is he… really alright? I'm so worried…

After that, Syo-kun frequently becomes ill when we practice dancing.

My heart hurts every time I see him clutching his chest with a pained look on his face. I don't want him to overexert himself and suffer.

The dance for the school festival will be different… but I'm still worried.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun… This is too much. We need to stop.

I stop dancing in the middle of a lesson.

Syo Kurusu: Why? I'm fine.

Haruka Nanami: I know that you're fighting through the pain as we dance…

It's okay for us to not attend the Christmas party. Please, let's stop.

Syo Kurusu: Don't say that. I… want to attend the party with you…

Syo Kurusu: We're only in this school for one year. I want to make as many memories as possible. I want to live with no regrets!

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun…

I want to make memories too, but I’m worried that he's going to push himself too far…

On the day of the dance party, I  suddenly get called to the principal's office.

Haruka Nanami: Um… Did I do something wrong?

Shining Saotome: Hahaha… You're still fine, for now.

Shining Saotome: BUT it'll be too late if something were to happen, so I'm warning you now. That's because I'm very VERY nice.

Shining Saotome: Romance is against the rules. I know you already know this, but Mr. Syo is especially off limits.

Haruka Nanami: Why is that…?

Shining Saotome: Mr. Syo's heart is like a bomb. It's dangerous for his heart rate to accelerate.

Shining Saotome: Idols are always subject to pressure.

Shining Saotome: Who knows what will happen if you add lovey-dovey feelings in there. Be extra careful!

Haruka Nanami: Lovey-dovey… feelings…

Shining Saotome: Be extra careful if his face goes bright red or his heart starts throbbing like crazy! Avoid that at all costs!

Face going red… heart throbbing like crazy…

That has happened a lot whenever we’ve practiced dancing…

Select the Phrase!

わかりました。 I understand. (+0 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: I'll be careful!

Shining Saotome: Hahaha, good girl, good girl!

He ruffles my hair.

はいっ！ Yes, sir! (+0 Love +0 Music)

Haruka Nanami: Strenuous exercise and exhilaration… I'll be sure to avoid them as best as I can!

Shining Saotome: Hahaha! Do your best!

・・・ … (+20 Love +0 Music)

If… something happens to Syo… Just thinking beyond that causes my legs to tremble on the spot.

I have to stop his heart from racing…

I should stop us from dancing together tomorrow…

What should I tell him…

It's the day of the dance party.

Everyone has come to the party dressed glamorously.

I also am wearing a dress, but I don’t feel like dancing. I stand alongside the wall and watch everyone from afar.

Syo Kurusu: Haruka! There you are! Geez, I've been looking everywhere for you!

Syo-kun waves his arm and runs over to me.

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry…

Syo Kurusu: Um… That dress looks good on you. I thought you were someone else.

Haruka Nanami: Thank you… You look handsome, like an actual prince…

Syo Kurusu: R-Really? I'm not used to these clothes so I'm just a little nervous…

Haruka Nanami: …Is your heart racing?

Syo Kurusu: Huh? Ah… yeah, a little bit…

His face is red…

His heart is a bomb… and… lovey-dovey feelings…

He was suffering so much even as we practiced. If we dance in a place like this, he'll…

Syo Kurusu: Come on. The song changed, so this is a good time to start dancing.

Syo Kurusu: And um… today's a special day… so take my hand, my princess.

Syo-kun straightens up and holds out his hand.

But….

Haruka Nanami: I'm so sorry… I can't dance with you.

I don't want Syo to suffer anymore.

I can't bear to watch him make that pained expression again.

Syo Kurusu: Why? We practiced so much…

Haruka Nanami: Because your heart races…

Syo Kurusu: Huh? What're you talking about?

Haruka Nanami: You suffered so much even when we practiced. If we dance right now, your heart won't take it.

Haruka Nanami: The principal told me that I mustn't put any more burden on your heart because it's dangerous…

Syo Kurusu: So?

Haruka Nanami: Are you angry?

Syo Kurusu: Yeah, I'm angry! You'll stop because it's dangerous? That's just running away.

Syo Kurusu: There's nothing gained from just running away. If there's a mountain, climb it. If there's a wall, go over it.

Syo Kurusu: If you give up before you start, that's the same as death. I won't stand living like that.

Syo Kurusu: We don't know when we'll die. That's why I refuse to back down. I'm living right here, right now!

Syo Kurusu: I'm going to make the most out of my life and keep living. I'll do every single thing that I can and make my mark in this world. 

Syo Kurusu: I want to cherish this life because I don't know when it'll end!

Syo Kurusu: I want to dance with you! I want to see more of your smile! So come with me, Haruka!

Syo-kun pulls my hand and runs.

He pulls me in and leads me with a strength that is unimaginably strong for such a small body.

He really is a man…

My heart starts racing.

Will his heart start racing if he were to hear my heart beating?

I get scared when I think about that.

Syo Kurusu: Don't look down. Look up. I'll be okay!

Haruka Nanami: But…

Syo Kurusu: It's fine. Believe me!

Haruka Nanami: Okay.

Syo Kurusu: Good!

He flashes the brightest smile I've ever seen from him.

His lead is powerful and graceful, and his movement is refined down to his fingertips.

It's as if he has become one with the music and I feel so good.

My heart is becoming one with Syo-kun and the music.

Female Student A: Ah, look at those two!

Female Student B: Wow… How wonderful!

Syo-kun's dancing is so graceful and polished that everyone around us starts sighing from admiration.

I can't believe I'm dancing with someone as skilled as him…

Syo Kurusu: Hey, don't look away. Look only at me.

Haruka Nanami: Okay.

Syo Kurusu: This is really nice. I love dancing with you. It feels great!

Haruka Nanami: I also love dancing with you.

Syo Kurusu: Listen up. You're mine for the rest of your life. Never ever dance with anyone else.

Haruka Nanami: Syo-kun…?

The music stops and we end our dance.

We take a pause and then…

Syo-kun hugs me tightly.

Syo Kurusu: In exchange, I'll always be by your side. Be with me always, right here with me…

Syo-kun whispers into my ear.

Haruka Nanami: Of course.

I don't know what will happen from now on. I think his heart is going to race more frequently if we're together.

But I will continue supporting him… right by his side.

The party ends, and Syo-kun and I walk towards the dorms.

Syo Kurusu: Ahh! My shoulders are stiff. I guess that's what happens when you wear clothes like these.

Haruka Nanami: Yeah… I agree. But I had a lot of fun!

Syo Kurusu: Yeah… I got to see you in a dress… and you were… very pretty.

Haruka Nanami: Th…Thank you.

Syo Kurusu: Umm… I want to tell you something.

Haruka Nanami: Tell me what?

Syo Kurusu: Umm… You don't have to be my servant.

Haruka Nanami: Ah… so this means you're firing me?

Syo Kurusu: Huh? Uh, yeah… You're not helpful at all. You're an absolute clutz. Heck, I end up taking care of you most of the time… 

Haruka Nanami: I'm sorry…

I didn't know that I was causing this much trouble for Syo-kun…

Syo Kurusu: You idiot… Why are you making that face?

Thump.

Syo-kun lightly taps me on the head with his fist.

Syo Kurusu: What I mean is… you've been promoted from being my servant to being my princess.

Haruka Nanami: Princess…?

Syo Kurusu: Meaning… I'll date you. There, I spelled it out for you…

Haruka Nanami: Date? Me and… Syo-kun?

I'm so incredibly happy that I can’t stop the tears from welling up in my eyes and overflowing down my cheeks.

Syo Kurusu: H-hey. Don't cry! Does that mean… you hate me?

Syo-kun looks into my face, flustered.

I shake my head.

Haruka Nanami: I'm happy…

I tell him my feelings as best as I could.

There's so much I want to tell him but I'm crying so much that I couldn't form words.

Syo Kurusu: Erg…!

He hugs me.

Syo Kurusu: Hey, that face is too much to handle… You're too cute!

He loosens his embrace and looks into my face.

Syo Kurusu: Haruka… I love you.

He leans into my lips…

This isn't acting. This is real… a real kiss.

Syo Kurusu: Nn…

After giving me a brief kiss, he gazes into my eyes again.

Syo Kurusu: I won't let go of you for the rest of your life. Brace yourself.

Haruka Nanami: Okay.

I won't ever let go of him. I want to be by his side forever, and ever, for the rest of our lives…

Mini Game

Ryuuya Hyuuga: Hey, Nanami. Sorry for calling you here. I want your opinion on composing.

Ryuuya Hyuuga: Here are some unfinished lyrics by a student. They're still stuck on what to write.

Ryuuya Hyuuga: What kind of phrases would you put in while considering the melody? Can you pick some out of the choices?

Ryuuya Hyuuga: Just approach it the same way as you did with the previous lyrics test.

Ryuuya Hyuuga: However, nothing's finished so there isn’t really a right answer.

Ryuuya Hyuuga: In this case, think about what would feel right here… Nah, it's fine.

Ryuuya Hyuuga: Are you ready? Time to get started!

S RANK

Syo Kurusu: I was surprised. You and I think the same way. We must have the same kind of sense… Birds of a feather!

Haruka Nanami: Maybe we are!

It would be nice if we are. I would be happy if we have the same music sense.

Chapter End

[austinsgirl]

Rather Die | Chapter 12

warnings: talks of pregnancy, jealousy, fluff, swearing

word count: 1776

———————————————————————

A couple days have gone by, and Victoria is ready to talk to Austin about her possibly being pregnant with his baby.

She texts him, as her heart pounds.

"Hey, I know I'm probably the last person you'd be wanting to hear from right now, but there's something I need to talk to you about. Can we meet? In private?"

Austin replies, "Hey. Uh, yeah sure. You can come over my house right now if you want."

"Okay, that works. Send me your address and I'll be on my way."

Austin sends over his address & Victoria heads over to his place.

It's a decent sized house. Not too big, not too small. Definitely bigger than anything Victoria has lived in.

There's lots of wooden walls, which seems to be a trend in homes nowadays, giving them a mid century modern feel, which is definitely what Austin is going for with his decor & use of cool and warm tones.

"So, what's this you need to talk to me about?" Austin says, letting Vic inside.

"Um, we should probably sit down for this." she says.

"Okay."

Austin leads her into the living room where a grand piano sits & a movie poster for Elvis' movie "King Creole" hangs on the wall above.

"You can have a set anywhere." Austin says. "Do you want anything to drink? Water? Soda?"

"No, I'm okay. Thanks though." Vic sits down in a chair. Austin sits across from her on the couch.

"Okay. What's up, Vic?"

"Um, there's no real easy way to say this, so I'm just gonna come out and say it I guess. I....am pregnant. And it's a very good possibility that...you're the father."

Austin sits there in silence for a moment, in shock before he says anything. "How is it a possibility that I could be the father?"

"Well, from the time that we hooked up to the time I started having symptoms, it would make sense."

"And you took a test?"

"Yes, Austin, of course I took a test."

"You know those aren't always accurate, right?"

"Um, I think most of the time they are, and I took two of them, both being positive."

"And I assume it could also be Ashton's because you were fucking him at the same time."

"Correct. The same day actually."

"You fucked both of us in the same day? That's some Eliana behavior."

"Oh shut up, Austin. You're one to talk. And you more so fucked me than I fucked you."

"What do you mean?"

"You made out with me & Eliana in the same night."

"Yeah, but I didn't fuck you both in the same night."

"Same difference."

"Are you keeping it?"

"Yeah. I'm keeping it. It's a miracle I even got pregnant with being told my chances are low. I've always dreamt of having my own baby someday, and if I can have this work out, I'm going to do it. I never know if I'll ever be able to get pregnant again."

"I guess that makes sense. If I am the father, I want to be apart of its life."

"You do?"

"Yeah."

"You'd want to co-parent with me?" Vic asks shocked.

"Yes. If it's my baby, I'm going to take responsibility & I won't let you do it alone. I wouldn't want any of my children not knowing who their father is if I can help it."

"Wow...um. Okay. I'm just surprised you'd want to do that with how we are."

"Look, I don't completely hate you. I could be civil for the rest of our lives for the sake of our child."

If Austin was being honest, he'd say he doesn't hate her at all & is in fact, in love with her. But still, he keeps playing along as if he doesn't because he's pretty well sure that Victoria doesn't & won't ever feel the same.

"If you can do that, so can I."

"Great. I'm glad we're on the same page. Now, what's the next step? A paternity test?"

"Yes. I, um, actually already made the appointment. It's my first ultra sound, and then paternity test as well. Technically, only one of you needs to test, say if we're not a match it's obviously Ashton's. Ashton will be testing, but you're more than free to join."

"I'll be there. Just give me the info & I will be there. Also, how is it very possible?"

"Okay, it's next Friday at noon, at the St. Joe's doctors office in Studio City. And it's very possible as we didn't use any protection, unlike Ashton & I did."

"Oh.." he responds. "Even if I'm not the father, I know we're not the bestest of friends, but if you ever need anything, let me know."

"Thanks, Austin."

It's now next Friday, the day of the appointment.

Victoria is joined at the doctors by both Ashton & Austin.

The boys haven't said a single word to each other except "Hello" & the room has a very awkward silence as they wait for the doctor, which is driving Victoria insane.

"Okay. I know this is awkward, but can we just not sit in silence? I feel like I'm being put in the middle of a feud right now."  Victoria breaks the silence.

"I just don't know what to say." Austin speaks up. "Um, I'm sorry, Ash. And Vic. For putting you in this situation. I shouldn't have even tried to have sex with you."

"Thanks, Austin. No worries, man." Ashton says.

"Good, I'm glad you guys are like, cool. Also, Austin, I'm sorry too. If I hadn't fell for it, you wouldn't have been brought into this. It's just all my fault for being an idiot."

The doctor walks in before either boy could respond.

"Hi, Victoria, nice to see you again." Dr. Martin, Victoria's gyno comes in. "I see you got yourself into a little predicament?"

Victoria laughs nervously, "Haha, yeaaah."

"And we're also surprised this even happened, aren't we?"

"Very."

"Now who are the possible candidates?"

"This is my boyfriend, Ashton, and this is my costar for my new movie, Austin Butler." Victoria introduces them both to Dr. Martin.

Austin dies a little inside hearing her call Ashton her boyfriend.

"Oh, I thought you looked familiar." Dr. Martin says to Austin. "You play Elvis in the movie right?"

"Yes, yes I do ma'am." Austin says, blushing & smiling.

Victoria feels butterflies seeing him all cute like that. She immediately shakes them off, remembering her actual boyfriend is right there.

"You were fantastic in that. Must have taken a lot of work to get the voice down."

"Oh, yeah. Definitely. But thank you." he replies.

"Okay, so we'll do the ultrasound, see how far along you are, and then we'll do a noninvasive prenatal paternity test. I'll take blood from each of you to conduct a fetal cell analysis. A genetic profile compares the fetal cells present in the mother's bloodstream to the alleged father's. The result is more than 99 percent accurate. Those results will take a of couple weeks, just keep an eye out on your St. Joe's online account for the results to be posted."

Everyone nods their head in agreement to everything that's going down.

The ultrasound starts. Victoria & Ashton hold hands, as Austin leans against the wall. Jealousy eats at him seeing the happy couple. He wishes it was him that was holding her hand.

"Well, I can confirm that you are in fact pregnant. Congratulations, 'Mom'." Dr. Martin says as she finds the embryonic sac.

Victoria & Ash smile bright, Austin gives a shy smile, still being filled with jealousy.

"Alright, there's the little one right here. Looks like you're measuring out to be about 6, almost 7 weeks. Here's the head starting to form, and then the body. Very similar to a tadpole."

As soon as Austin sees the little fetus on the monitor, the jealousy goes away and his heart swells, knowing that could be his. He gets misty eyed, which he wasn't expecting.

Of course, Vic & Ash are the same. All happy tears.

Dr. Martin takes some photos before cleaning up Victoria from the ultrasound gel & putting the machine to the side.

"Here's the first pictures of baby. I'm going to go get the stuff for the blood samples. I'll be right back." she says.

"I can't believe this is real. I really never thought I'd be here in this moment right now. As much as this is going to suck because my career is just now getting somewhere, I'm excited." Victoria says, looking at the pictures.

"You're gonna be a great mom, Vic." Austin says.

"Thanks, Austin." she says, with a kind of confused tone. She wasn't expecting to hear that from him.

Dr. Martin comes back into the room & she gets a blood sample from each person.

"Alright, everyone is free to go. Like I said, it'll take a couple weeks for the results. Just keep an eye online for them to be posted."

"Will do. Thank you, Dr. Martin." Victoria says.

"Of course. You guys have a good rest of your day."

A couple weeks have passed & the results are in.

"Mila, open it. I can't do it." Vic says to her, passing Mila her phone.

"Are you sure you want me to read it?"

"Yes, I can't. Just read it & tell me."

"Okay. Now, don't yell at me if I say it's

Austin, because I know that's the result you don't want."

"I promise I won't."

"Good. Okay, I'm opening it, I'm reading it, and the father is....."

"Please be Ashton, please be Ashton." Victoria says to herself."

"Austin."

"Goddamnit, Butler. I fucking knew it. Of course it's his."

"I'm sorry, babe."

"It's fine, I guess."

"How are you going to tell them?"

"Girl, I have no idea. Do I tell Austin first? Or Ashton?"

"I don't know. I guess Ashton. You're seeing him tonight right?"

"Yeah. I guess I'll tell him first."

Later on...

"So, I got the results..." Vic says to Ashton.

"And?"

"I'm so sorry." Vic starts to cry. "It's Austin's. I wish I would have never had sex with him so the baby could be yours. I know we used protection, but you know that's not always effective & maybe it could have been you. I'm so sorry."

"Baby, baby. It's okay. I told you, things happen. And I'll be with you every step of the way. I love you so much and we're not going to let anything come between us."

"I love you too. So much"

Ashton gives Victoria a sweet kiss as she wipes away her tears.

Now all that's left is to break the news to Austin...

————————————————————————

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 30 - Now and Zen

Ophelia signs her Tartosa friends up for a 6 AM yoga class at a spa in a neighboring town and, because they're the best friends on earth, they agree to go. They've got the Pizzazz wedding gig coming up, so they need to be in the zone!

Ophelia has a little more experience than her friends.

Drew is a pretty confident person, but they're not confident they won't fall flat on their face during some of these moves.

Instructor: Just follow at your own pace.

Moses: If I was at my own pace, I'd still be in bed.

Being ambitious, Ophelia sometimes struggles when she's not automatically the best at something.

Ophelia: Must… be zen… even if… it kills me.

Moses: muttering Or us. Ow!

They're all really good at child's pose, at least.

Despite not being the best at it yet, they do have to admit that they enjoyed themselves. Maybe Ophelia was right, this wellness stuff could do them all some good.

Ophelia: Oh, what now? Face mask or workout?

Drew: Uh, wasn't the whole point of this to relax?

Ophelia: Self-improvement IS relaxing!

Ophelia is efficient and decides to go with a face mask AND a workout.

Ophelia: You're a strong, confident woman. You have great friends here and in Willow Creek. The awkwardness with Libby will pass someday. Right now, focus on being the best you! You're gonna kick life's ass!

Xander: What up, Casper? Drew: Haha. I need a mask, and a drink, to make me forget how tired I am. Ophelia's self improvement kick is great and all, but that yoga class kind of kicked my ass. Moses: Don't act like you also didn't click yes to that Wellness liking popup

Xander: Should we be concerned? Seems like she's hardly let herself have a free moment since the break up.

Drew: I think Ophelia's just like that, dude.

Moses: You know how ambitious Sims are, mate. Keeping busy is how they cope.

Xander: I guess you're right.

Xander can't help but interrupt her boxing.

Xander: Come on, Lemon Cake. Time to take five. Don't want to wear yourself out for tomorrow. Ophelia: I don't want to. Xander: What if I said please real cute like with this face? Ophelia: I'd say no, real ugly like with this face.

Xander: I might have to start calling you Sour Lemon with that mean mug.

That gets Ophelia to cut the act and let out a laugh.

Xander: I knew you couldn't resist! No one can resist this face!

Ophelia: Shut up! Fine, I'll take a break, you dork. Let's check out the pool.

Before they can swim…

Xander: Listen, you're doing okay, right?

Ophelia: Why wouldn't I be?

Xander: You've got the garden you told us about and all this wellness stuff you're getting into. That's great and all, I just want to make sure you're not using it as a distraction.

Ophelia: Distraction? Xander: I know some Sims throw themselves into new projects to distract themselves when life gets rough. I know that because I'm one of those Sims. If you need someone to talk to, we're here for you if it's too weird to talk to your other friends about.

Ophelia: I appreciate it Xander, but I'm really just trying to better myself. Two of my friends had a baby recently, and it really put things into perspective. There's so much I want to do before, and after, I have kids, so I'm trying to become the future mom my kids deserve

Xander: If my parents and Hilary had your wellness knowledge, they would have probably had an easier time dealing with me as a kid.

Ophelia: Ha!

Xander: For what it's worth, I think you'd be a great mom now, but you've got plenty of time to get even better.

Ophelia: Thanks.

Ophelia: One thing about me, when I get knocked down I don't stay down for long.

Xander: That makes one of us. When things ended with my last partner-

Ophelia: Oooh, I'm getting some exclusive Xander Lore?

Xander: Not anymore, Lady Interrupts-A-Lot.

Xander may be a goofball, but he's clearly a good guy, as well. Ophelia's glad she has someone like him in her corner.

I didn't manage to get screenshots of it but she stole two things during the time she was at this spa. Look at her smug face. You can't keep getting away with this forever, young lady!

[prowerprojects]

Yeah, out of the main 4 only. I can only see Tails and Amy having kids. Even then, it depends on who they're with. (But generally, imo, Amy has a higher chance than *Tails.)

Sonic, I feel, you would have to either do lots of convincing or something he experienced makes him want to have a kid. Knuckles too, but not to the same extent and for different reasons. Still depends on the person. (Could see Knuckles "adopt" more people on Angel Island though.)

((*Tails, I hc he has a lingering fear of any kid of his ending up in a similar position as him: Being a "mutant" and the hardships that came with it. His tails, by now, have him earn him worldwide respect. Which garners another problem: High/certain expectations from the kid. Causes many headaches, stressing and overthinking on his part, so he focuses on other things with his future. Great uncle and teacher though.))

I think Knuckles could be a great parent, though I doubt he would have biological children. (The most likely scenario of Knuckles becoming a parent is him taking in his friends' kids because they died or something else happened)

Though there's of course the whole thing with living on Angel Island, and I don't think Knuckles would want his kid to be isolated, so there's gonna have to be some sort of compromise. Plus the Echidna culture, I'm sure Knuckles would live an opportunity to pass it on, but especially if the child themself is not a Echidna, their connection (or disconnect) with it could be really interesting to explore.

Amy probably would want children more than the other 3, but it also would depend on her partner. Stc Amy actually does already have a kid with Tekno. But if Sonic really is her endgame? Yeah, probably not. (Unless it's unplanned) She's more likely to have a kid if she doesn't end up with anyone than with Sonic.

Funnily enough, I do have an au where Tails has a kid and basically all of that happens (oops). (With Iggy yes I have this obscure ship and I won't shut up about it sorry) She does inherit the two tails, but she can't fly with them (though they still spin), and one of them is shorter than the other. Plus she's made in a lab basically, and is visibly a hybrid. (It lets her bond with Shadow eventually but it adds to her being "weird").

(We don't see any hybrids so either different species can't procreate with each other, or it's like Archie and they take after only one of the parents. Of course, if you're trying to make an au about the characters having kids the second idea is more appealing, otherwise only the SASS squad would be able to have kids with each other)

On top of that, both of her parents are child geniuses and so she's got a lot of pressure on her, even if the parents themselves are trying to be as supportive as they can. So yeah...

But also this au doesn't even make any sense because like. Tails and Iggy can't have biological kids but why not just adopt. Why jump straight to genetic experimentation neither of them is really qualified for. It only exists because I wanted to imagine what would it be like if they had a bio kid. What they would look like, and then what a kid like that would face, etc. But yeah. If they really wanted a kid that much it would make more sense to adopt one. (And I do think Tails might want one. Especially since in the timeline of the au it takes place after they retired from all the serious action hero stuff and so Tails has more time to actually dedicate to being a parent without worrying about running off to save the world)

[vicstmichael]

15 Questions 15 Mutuals

Rules: Answer the questions as yourself or as an OC of your choice

I was tagged by @artcoffeecats! Thank you for still tagging me in fun things even though I'm never here <3 You're the best!

My tags are: @cydneydaemon, @rachaellawrites, @ashirisu, @dewiwrites, @brieflyinfatuated, @scribe-of-stories and whoever else wants to play because that's all I can think of off the top of my head!

Okay I'm totally stealing Mary's idea of answering as two MCs (one in bold, one in italics) and having them banter back and forth (go see their original post, it's so cute) because it looks like so much fun!

I'll answer as Jamie Prowse and River Gray from my latest WIP:

1. Are you named after anyone?

Yeah, my Grandpa on my Dad's side! He was so chill. Took me to my first Seahawks game. I'm not much of a 'James,' though. Jamie is fine.

Couldn't tell you. My mother never told me, and I don't care enough to ask her.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Like, yesterday, probably? I saw a really cute dog.

The night I moved in with my brother. And Jamie, by proxy. It was a momentary lapse in control that won't happen again, trust me.

3. Do you have kids?

No, but I think I'd like to have them someday.

I'm sorry, what?

Uhh--maybe we should table this conversation, yeah?

No, no. We're having it right now.

Omg look over there, what's that? *points, runs away*

4. Do you use sarcasm?

I never used to, but I've been doing it a lot more since River moved in. I think it's contagious.

Fortunately for me, stupidity isn't contagious.

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Eyes, easy. They tell you a lot. And, uhh, I have this weird superpower where I can gauge a person's mental state pretty much instantly. Like, if they're okay or not.

He's not kidding. It's creepy. For me it's whether or not the person is a threat.

*scoffs* How often are people actually threats, though?

More often than you'd think.

6. What's your eye color?

Hazel, like my dad's! They remind me of the woods back home. I like them, they're one of my best features!

Blue.

He's being modest. They're, this--like--rich, dark, midnight blue. They're gorgeous.

Jamie. *blushes*

*grins* You loved it, shut up.

7. Scary movies or happy endings?

Ooh, I love scary movies!

Ugh. Do I have to...?

It's fine, Riv, there's nothing wrong with liking happy endings! It's cute!

Shut up. I just think... you watch a movie or read a book to escape, right? There's enough pain in the world as it is. Why willingly put yourself through more when you could choose joy instead?

8. Any special talents?

He thinks the fact that I can speak French is a talent. I don't really see it that way, though. I don't know... photography is a talent. I'm good at that.

And writing! He's a great writer, especially poems. My talent is bass. Oh, and cooking! Those are pretty much the only things I'm really great at.

*Frowns* Not the only things.

What else, then?

Is being annoying a talent?

You're so mean. Wait, is making people laugh a talent? That counts, right? I can make pretty much anyone laugh if I really try.

Yeah, Jamie. That counts. *smiles*

9. Where were you born?

Seattle born and bred, baby!

Bordeaux, France. Didn't stay long after, though.

10. What are your hobbies?

Playing bass. Songwriting. Jamming with the roomies. Can it still be a hobby if it's also your career?

I hope so, because I was going to say photography. I also enjoy hiking and poetry--reading and writing.

And journaling. *smirks*

Hey, focus on your own hobbies.

11. Have you any pets?

Not yet, but someday we're getting a dog. Right, Riv?

Seriously? You know I'm a cat person. Having a dog is one step below having an actual child, you realize that, right? You can't even keep a fish alive.

Ye of little faith. Besides, cats are scary.

You would think that.

12. What sports do you play/have played?

I played football for like five minutes in high school, but it was interfering with band stuff. Does watching football count?

Sports? Ugh. Pass.

13. How tall are you?

I dunno, 6'2? Tall enough to be constantly hitting my head on shit.

...5'8...

He's just a cute lil guy. Just the cutest, ittiest, bittiest--

Jamie.

14. Favorite subject in school?

Music class! That's a cop out, right? It's true though. I liked it. Plus, my music teacher was a total fox. *grins* Ms. Dawson. I wonder how she's doing these days.

*raises an eyebrow*

Aww. I just wanted to see if you'd get jealous. Okay, you go!

Classic lit. Took it as an elective in college. I much preferred it to my business and finance courses.

15. Dream job?

I have my dream job. Playing music for a living with my best friends.

I suppose I have mine, too. Shooting photos of my brother and Jamie playing music with their best friends for a living. Not the direction I expected my life to take, but I'll take it.

Awww. Love you, baby.

Yeah, I know. *blushes*

Cool it, Han Solo.

[kobblefort]

Rushsly: Almost The Bottom 2

ENDGAME SPOILERS BELOW THE CUT... MAYBE. THEY DIDN'T REALLY HAPPEN LAST TIME. BUT THEY COULD HAPPEN THIS TIME! YOU NEVER KNOW!

-116 is stripped for gold, but reveals no more. The project must be paused again - flux stones are needed to continue steel production, so a big random chunk of dolomite is carved out. Migrants arrive, but only a few, bringing our population from 108 before the siege to 115. Perhaps they heard what we're about to do. Maybe they just heard how much our fortress is flourishing.

Indeed, they are just enough to tip us over from being a "town" to a "city," and our wealth must be known all over the Hill of Scars - maybe even all across the Land of Nails.

One must wonder if they know of the beasts lurking in the depths, if they hear of the ratfolk pitifully sending handfuls of themselves to die against our walls, of the potential doom we flirt with at the bottom of the earth.

The child Sraraz Jokedknit is taken by an unknown force, and at just the same time we can hear Kerrik Perplexnightmares doing battle with our old buddies, the olm men.

And just like that, the beast is dead. It seems like prudent timing to make sure the first cavern layer is absolutely, completely walled off.

Yes, I'm hesitating, I know I'm hesitating, I always hesitate, I know jumping into the water makes it way easier to adjust to the temperature than slowly dipping in one part at a time, I know I have to just dig straight down already, but that doesn't mean I'll do it, not without a fuss, not without dragging my feet and trying to talk myself out of it.

Sraraz's artifact is Sorudrzl - Bustkindled - hey yeah I'm into busts kindling - sorry - and it's worth a whopping 22900 whatever-the-units-of-value are. Half of that number is of particular personal value to me for reasons I am not about to disclose but just know that I feel even more nervous and unsettled. But I've wasted enough time, and I'm not a superstitious man; we'll dig, damnit, deeper still, and deepe

Are you fucking kidding me man??? From the southern plains a fucking big-ass minotaur comes. I somehow doubt that it "seeks harmony" and it's time to draw up the bridge real fucking quick. By "seeking harmony" do you mean like "not having anyone left to have problems with?" If you wanna talk we can talk with us in here and you out there otherwise yeah we're not gonna talk. Bridge up doors shut everybody in - hey we might finally get to try that magma trap from literally years ago though, that could be cool.

Her first order of business is attacking the random aardvark we had lazing around outside the fort. I don't even want to post the combat logs, it was brutal, it was not quick, but it served to show us that she's fucking mean and fucking fast. Next she literally charges down a leopard and... like...

This shit is fucked up dude. She's not getting any closer to the base, but seeing the shit she does makes me think maybe it's time we test out our catapults. Remember those??? Will they even work????? One way to find out!!!

The first volley misses by a mile, but at least the sight of boulders flying through the air scares her up into some trees. Well, for a moment, anyways.

Investigating her "Military" tab shows a history of violence that apparently only started once she was 169 years old: hard year, I guess, but no reason to take it out on us or our random little wildlife creatures. She's been hiding in the trees for a while, and though the catapults are good at scaring her, it's just not possible to hit her from our position. The marksbolds will be stationed up on the turrets above the drawbridge (safely behind the drawbridge) but they probably won't be able to land any shots from there either. It's a total standstill.

This fucker shows up on the second cavern layer? Honestly who fucking cares?? Like we're so fucking busy??? We don't even go down there but we literally have this asshole up a tree blocking our access to the entire outside world???? Well, we're going to try and bait the minotaur up top into a bad position. Whether that puts us in a bad position... I dunno. We'll fucking see.

The plan is to send the one kobble in the worst possible mood of the fortress to bait it into the lava trap, and unfortunately, that'd be Zil. Despite having a pretty great time of things by its own admission, it has failed to grow close with any of its squadmates and teeters on the edge of a total psychological meltdown. So like, you know, if it dies... well...

Well we're not going to find out I guess!? Saraz Fishedpraise, an unproven wrestler fucking charges out to yank it down from the tree with his spear, stabbing it in the fucking gut - then the lung, then through the hand so cleanly it tears not just muscle but ligament and nerves. But...

well, do you see that "puddle"

It's actually pretty fucking deep, and Saraz gets thrown right down it after losing control of the battle. As the minotaur charges down the hole she saw the kobold come from...

...the thing I was planning to use Zil Dentedleaks for happens. A truly fearsome foe, but once again, not even past the first row of traps. I genuinely don't think I'll use cage traps in my next fort lol they're so fucking overpowered. I know forgotten beasts and werebeasts can't trigger them but fuck dude, a whole-ass minotaur? Well, at least now we get to throw her down a hole and she dies. A bit anti-climactic but... that's Rushsly for you I guess. Time to recover Saraz's body.

Ty is on cleanup duty again, hauling the 602-weight minotaur cage, almost five times the weight of a boulder of jet, to the garbage hole, where if she does not die immediately on impact, she will eventually be killed. She just thinks: "I feel alright."

I deduced from the location of a gem-studded pillar of obsidian in the second cavern layer where we might be more likely to find what we're looking for - maybe.

But when we get there, it's nothing. The tunnel is rerouted for a bit before I ultimately decide we'll dig one more Z-level down.

Mica. Cobaltite, bismuth, granite. Galena, worthless goddamn galena again; silver is "consolation gold." Could it be one layer deeper, just one? 118, a nice, happy number. It would have been nicer if it was 117, like John Halo. 118, right? 118?

118. Here we go.

I can smell it, man.

This alert makes me nearly jump out of my fucking skin. Cool, man. "The Goldenrod Raven." Why are you even still using iron? Whatever. That's great. We're almost there. Whereever we're getting, we're almost there. Granite, microcline, prase, we have to be close. Cassiterite, for fuck's sakes, it has to be here. Was it "adamantine" this whole time? Have I been reading it "adamantite" the whole time, saying "adamantite" this whole fucking time? Seeing the name every single time I go to punch in a work order and just misreading it every single time?? Where did I get "adamantite" from if it's always been "adamantine???"??? ??? ?????

A gnoll right now are you fucking kidding me???????

A gnoll army right now are you fucking kidding me!?!?!? Well, at least I forgot to lower the drawbridge after the minotaur attack. But seriously? Gnolls? Right fucking now???

One of them walks directly and immediately into a cage trap. The next one stands back and frets about, realizing the entrance is full of traps. A third one charges right past them and dodges an iron disc trap to jam themselves right into another cage trap. Two more nervously fret about the trees, no doubt psyching themselves up to get into the fortress and wreak some havoc, then they just walk straight into the cage traps. One more runs off the map, possibly to finally make the smart idea of going home and saying "We should not go to Rushsly, they have cage traps" - and the one fretting around just outside the cage traps without warning their friends about the cage traps finally leaves with them. Well, that's good.

And as the gnoll madness and my own random little bout of madness starts to break, we get visitors. Our old pals the dwarves. We put the bridge down for them but they insist on coming around the long way. Well guys welcome in welcome in. Just make sure you be good and careful of those fucking cage traps

[education-over-demonization]

Yes, I tried to learn something from Google searches, documentaries or essays. It is difficult, because there's a lot of misinformation, that's why I felt the need to ask here.

"DID is tricky because even if a final fusion occurred that person is at risk for splitting again, as it’s what the brain is used to and brains love patterns". I think that this that you say is key. I have to bear in mind that, and it happens with the majority of disorders, so, comparing, I kind of get the idea.

About the non-human alters! I understand so much more know, because of what you said, with the example of being a witness of the situation and as a mechanism. What I was asking came to me when I saw that some systems sign their names on their posts depending on who is fronting, as well as pronouns, etc. I don't understand what happens there when the alter fronting is non-human.

I hope this time my description helps. I know I'm being messy.

I completly understand the family issue. It happens to any neurodivergent person but I can't imagine what kind of torture it most be in a DID case.

What you say about getting a diagnose is the most honest, clair and human testimony I have heard. I can't agree more. The vulnerability that lies when you are no longer being able to deny it, and living a reality that isn't for you or hasn't been for your mind, is something huge. And if I talk about the bravery it takes to accept it and try to be okay, better, and doing it for yourself, even in a world that not only doesn't help, well… I won't end.

"I do consider them to be family while someone who fronts less may not". I was supposing that. It makes total sense. Thank you.

Haha, I'm glad I didn't fuck up this time. And that's it, to destigmatize the DID to other people. I wish I could do that, having enough information and right, but I will try to stigmatize every time less through learning. That's something I CAN do and I SHOULD do.

This is an opinion of mine, so maybe it's just bullshit (probably). But it seems to me that the DID develops in especially sensitive and intelligent people.

The brain could simply shut down from the trauma, but in these cases it develops a system so complex that it is still difficult even for the people who carry it to understand. But it may be one more possibility among the reactions to a trauma. It is something so unacceptable that it forces a child to shield himself and turn his mind because he is defenseless against a reality from which he can neither shield nor modify.

Once again, thank you enormously. Rest assured that I will not stop my interest here, I know that I have a lot to learn. You have helped me more than you can imagine.

As far as nonhuman alters, what fronting looks like will vary because no two are the same. For me it's fairly easy as my role involves me talking, socializing, driving, reading, writing, all the things a person would do. Although it does feel a little funky within the first few minutes as it feels like adjusting to a new body, but this isn't exclusive to nonhuman alters, plenty of human alters have to adjust to the fact that the body may not be anything like what they are like. Our body is fairly short, so if someone taller fronts this can make things very annoying for them'. As far as inanimate objects, it could simply look like sitting. For example a statue alter may be very still and work to blend in with scenery. For us we have an ANP near the front so if human behavior is needed we can simply step in to help out there.

And as far as sensitivity, people who are a little odd or "sensitive" far more likely to be subject to abuse. So someone with preexisting mental conditions or "anomalies" is more likely to be subject to the abuse that would cause a system to form. A child who is aware that they aren't like their peers is far easier to manipulate, and less likely to have people to protect them. "Normal" kids are easy. ND kids are not. It's awful but it's very easy for people to ignore and call us dramatic.

We also are seen as sensitive because sometimes it's necessary. We need to be attune to every little thing, be aware of anything that might hint that someone is displeased so we can change. And someone who is sensitive and desperate to please is an abusers dream, so while this can be a quality that is present pre-trauma most kids are sensitive, and this trait is something that is cultivated. Abused kids are groomed and conditioned to be hyper-aware of how to please, thus this translates to sensitivity.

And DID is a way of shutting down sometimes, especially with inanimate objects. Rather than fight, you become the object you're treated as, making it easier to cope with. Brains are also really funky, what will completely tear apart one person might not another. The thing with DID is that the trauma is continuous and repetitive from an early age, rather than say one bad event.

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 3x24 Shakaar thoughts (I’m re-watching, so beware spoilers for future episodes!)

(31/05/2023)

There's just something about Sisko playing darts with Miles :3 I don't think we've seen Sisko just socialising casually before? The crew is becoming found family more and more <3 

"The new head of the Provisional government ... is Kai Winn." DRAMATIC MUSIC. Valid choice, it's pretty bad

"It has been my observation that one of the prices of giving people freedom of choice is that sometimes they make the wrong choice." Feels. That's too close to home (I can't wait for the 2024 election but I'm also terrified that somehow we STILL won't get the Tories out...)

"It's for Vedek Bareil, ACTUALLY." Oh I love you Kira, I'm sorry you have to talk to this woman. 

"He never wanted fame or glory for what he did. As someone who loved him, I'm surprised you didn't that." I HATE HER. YOU THINK YOU'RE SUCH A GOOD MANIPULATOR BUT YOU'RE ACTUALLY JUST A DREADFUL PERSON. And just because someone wasn't seeking game as their motive, doesn't mean you can't recognise their contributions! 

Kira calmly walking away because she feels she needs to be diplomatic with Winn and is seconds away from yelling probably. Proud of you <3

Winn is THE most loathesome character. "Vedek Bareil used to tell me that you could be quite persuasive when you put your mind to it, child." Yuck

Ohh, Kira's smile as she hears about her old friends ❤❤❤

Interesting that he calls her Nerys, but she calls him Shakaar

Can't believe Quark actually persuaded Miles to do the darts and not kayak!

"Somehow replacing the arm seems ungrateful." There's something that really gets me about this. I guess it's just allowing war to be so unapologetically ugly?

The wind in Kira's hair is so powerful. She's beautiful.

"Did you explain to Shakaar that you were there on the direct authority of the First Minister?" She loves power so much, and it's so obvious she thinks she should be respected just because of that authority - she doesn't even try to earn it.

"Shakaar sounds like a prideful and arrogant man." SHUT UP, THAT'S WHAT YOU AR-- "It also seems there's no reasoning with him." Oh my GOODNESS, she's clearly just making excuses why is actually his fault she won't talk to him!

"This isn't your fight, Nerys. Go home." "I am home, Shakaar, and I have been lied to by Kai Winn for the last time. She wants a fight, I'll give her one." YES KIRA

"Don't worry, coach. I won't let you down." Idk just Julian smiling at Miles and everyone being so supportive :3 

I love that Miles bring "in the zone" is the entire B plot though XD

"Look, I'm in the zone. I just need- ARGH! I just need surgery... :/" Ohhh, you tried, Miles 

I'm honestly not sure if they're faking it or not - but Miles is a good actor if so. 

"It's been two weeks since I was forced to send the militia into Dahkur Province." FORCED?! FORCED?!!!!

"I'm more than willing to do that, on one condition... I'd like you to provide a Federation security force to take their place." That's... That's not what he's saying though. He's saying any force out there is Not What Is Needed. 

"I wasn't aware that our relationship needed solidifying." Sisko calmly rebutting Winn will always be my favourite, he's so good at taking her down in a way that's polite yet savage.

"So, you're refusing my request for aid?" "I suppose I am." I love him <3

"That would be an unfortunate overreaction." Which she knows but thinks she can get away with and make the whole ordeal - and rejecting Federation membership - look perfectly reasonable.

"This is a test, a test by the Prophets. They want to see if I'm worthy [...] I will not fail them. I will stop Shakaar by any means necessary." The scary thing is I actually think she believes that this is The Right And Moral Thing To Do. She's terrifying. And just The Worst. 

I really, really love the way this is solved. Real Bajorans not wanting to hurt and fight each other, and recognising they have the power to change something so stupid. 

"So this is a coup?" "No, it's a free election." Well, kind of both if you have military backing... But I love Winn not getting her way. 

(Why did they give her the power of First Minister before having the elections? But I guess it's good they did, or she wouldn't have had enough rope to hang herself with before her power was solidified with a vote.)

Why is Julian looking so shocked at throwing a twenty? It's funny when pre-augmentation things don't quite make sense and you have to headcanon them away. (I'm saying he wasn't really thinking about what he was doing and didn't realise he'd thrown until the board beeped with success.)

[donnyvibes]

"That's the most important part, it makes you happy," He remarked. He understood that for some, baking served as a coping mechanism. "Okay, maybe a trouble follower. My mom was far too involved in our lives. She'd never let me get away with causing trouble, but I still managed to be part of it somehow. I certainly wasn't the responsible, chill one. I still maintain I'm the good brother, though," he grinned.

Donny playfully mused, "I would've continued being the friend that's secretly pining over you until I worked up the courage. With my luck, that wouldn't happen until you were already interested in someone else. That actually reminds me of something I wanted to ask." He began. "Yeah, I do really good solo stuff," he joked, emphasizing the phrase. Laughing, he added, "Shut up! You'd be one of the few women who does," to his knowledge most of his subscribers were men, which he didn’t have a problem with. Because of that, though, most of his content was geared towards that audience.

"Ah, and she doesn't want that, or isn't used to having someone like that in her life, so that kinda leads to both of you butting heads a lot?" Donny let out a huff of air. “No, I would actually love your advice.” He shared, "Okay, well, a couple of years ago, when we were around twenty-two/twenty-three, my brother had to get help because of a drinking problem... after a lot of drama with his college girlfriend. I won't get into that. Basically, we got him help and he was sober for a long time. Fast forward to last December, he was wasted at a holiday party. I saw it on IG, contacted my mom, and he got super pissed. We fought, he removed me from IG, and we didn't talk for a while. We never talked it out, but since then, we've FaceTimed a couple of times. He doesn't seem upset anymore, but when I requested to follow him on IG, he completely ignored it. Makes me feel like he's not over it and secretly hates me, and planning on murdering Maisei and making a fur accessory with her coat. Maisei is my ferret child, by the way, and yes, I was joking at the end there, but that’s the gist of it.” He inhaled.

“So, what do you think I should do? I know not accepting my follow request isn’t a big thing, but that’s exactly why it makes me sad. It’s such a small thing, and yet he’s decided he doesn’t want me on there.” It only further distanced the siblings, and Donny hated that. He straightened up his body, hoping he hadn’t unloaded too much. 

"Oh, I bet my mom would want something like that. I couldn't see myself ever moving back south, though. Still, she'd probably want us all to take, like, a family vacation or something." Curious about the woman's family dynamic, he asked, "Is your mom, like, super family-oriented as well?" Donny mulled over her words. He chuckled as he mentioned Francesa, and before he could even wonder if it was a joke, the woman had fallen. “Oh god,” He stepped down, to help her up. “Are you okay?”

Mila smiled " Thank you! Baking makes me happy and it makes others happy as well. So I had to put that dream in motion and make it happen," she nodded. She then shrugged as she took another bite of her bread " Plus, there wasn't much to go home to at the time. So I had to occupy myself with something," she said.

"Troublemaker?" she said as she raised her brow. Then shook her head " I don't know. Could've fooled me," she chuckled. She took more sips of her wine and finished it off. She laughed " Well if I didn't, it would probably take you centuries to ask me out anyway," she shrugged. Mila's eyes widen "Wait...OnlyFans? Well uh..what do you do on OnlyFans? Is it good stuff?" she smirked, joking with him. She tilted her head to the side abit and nodded " I'd pay for it," she smiled before taking another bite of her lasagna.

" Always disagreeing with her, never approving of her life choices, and just trying to basically be her mom. I just...I want to help her that's all," Mila shrugged. She raised her brow " Is it bad enough for me to hear?" she asked him before putting down her fork. " Honestly, I'm just expecting for my mom to show up already married. Wanting us to all live in one big house as a grown ass happy family. I think I can feel it coming actually. It's been to quiet from her," she chuckled. "I think that having everything very similar is cool but I do think it would probably get boring later on," she said. Mila got up from her seat " Let me go get Francesa," she said as she started walking, but ended up tripping on the leg of the chair. She fell on the floor and started laughing at herself.