#{/MY THOUGHTS ARENT AS COHERENT AS THEY WERE BEFORE BUT LIKE}

[blindedguilt-archived]

(@amorfati-rp Agares) She approaches the dragon quizzically. "You seem....different from the dragons I've heard about. How come you're so different?"

::THE GREEN DRAGON

Of all the people of the village who could have approached it, it was the half-elf girl that was most unexpected. That girl, always flitting to and fro. Back from her home, across the village, into the forest and out again to the wells - it was understandable. To the dragon's knowledge, she was without a father, she and those two brothers of hers. The priest had been happy to share the news of a pregnancy in the village, one directly attributed to that girl's mother, and so it could only be expected that weight be put on the eldest's shoulders. Even so... Similar to most residents of a grown age, the half-elf named Agares didn't press herself with coming too close to it most days, if ever. For some, it was merely their way of showing respect to a being as powerful as a dragon, no matter how diminished its powers had become in its old age. They didn't wish to bother it, and the dragon didn't mind - as a matter of fact, the gesture was appreciated some days when the pain had become overwhelming and it remained incapable of doing much else than simply laying with closed eyes. There were others, however, who feared the Green Dragon and its watchful rest over the village, that whatever gossip or slander spoken in its presence would be taken and relayed to the priest. Of course, it had enjoyed listening to all sounds of the confined, bustling life inside the forest's walls - but it could hardly be thought of as anything more than simple interest and adoration. These worries that came from those humans were stemmed from fear. Fear from their old home, fear from the very same mistakes that had led them there - it could hardly bear any resentment against that. Still, the priest hadn't been the dragons only company, much to its relief. The children, covered in dirt from their play, flocked to it nigh constantly despite their parent's lectures, climbing and shouting... It was a painful, but rewarding feeling. Most had never seen a dragon before, and paid little mind to the weakened form in distraction of the awe of its great wings and coiled tail. For those too shy to approach, it typically could afford to open its eyes enough to gaze back at the child, a cause of excitement for many. In these times, the priest would typically stay by its side, keeping careful watch ensure that the pain wouldn't grow too much, nor that any child ran astray. And from the shadows of the trees, that was when it had typically picked up on her presence. Not with the other adults, but staring from afar. Neither an adult nor a child, as the dragon had understood it, but still - far more child than adult. Those eyes were never settled on it, but rather, the priest besides it. In a way, that feeling of "Love" no matter how misplaced was the closest she had gotten to womanhood. Most others her age had already been married, or were much too caught up in their own affairs to afford the luxury of such needless pining and delusions. It was an obsession, one regarded with the same nonchalance as the dragon had with all affairs of the village, and so remained an unspoken secret between the two. It could tell it clearly; she meant no harm. She simply didn't know what to do. It was unexpected, then, that she had saw it. It was with the same bravery and innocent curiosity of a child that she had approached the resting dragon, and only after those words were spoken did it began to stir. Beyond the priest, the dragon didn't care to speak to anyone, simply preferring to watch their lives and interactions without its interference. And in those rare moments it did have something to say, it was always through him that those thoughts were conveyed. And this girl... There wasn't anything special about her. At least, not that commanded it's attention - she was a villager, a simple but precious existence it had seen years and years before. The dragon knew she would get along well without the need for words. Dulled, yellow eyes rolled open to stare drearily up towards her, and a long, tired sigh was its answer.

[brairslair]

Hii! I hope you've had a great day so far, could i request a trafalger law × fem!reader who's like super horny all the time and just begs for law's attention and his cock all the time? Do what you want with the request, I just want this to be the basic premise, also i would like a friends with benenfits relationship kinda thing, but they do like eachother but just arent together yet!

Thank you, and have a great day! Please remember to take breaks, don't rush yourself and to take care of yourself!

@kyokikia thank you so much for this request ml! so sorry for the actual insane wait 🙏🏻

EVERYONE IS 18+ (minors gtfo)

a/n: idk why i struggled so much with this prompt, but i think i got something kind of coherent? definitely not my best work and a lil short, but hopefully you enjoy reading what i came up with!

don’t forget to like, reblog, comment, and follow to support my work! it always makes my day mwah

“made me wait enough”

Your mouth waters as you watch Law lean back in his seat, legs spread, head thrown back in a frustrated groan. His hands drag down his face and a sliver of skin peaks out from where his shirt rides up, and you almost moan. Your fingers buzz with the desire to touch him.

It’s been torture all week. Law’s been absolutely drowning in work, to the point where he’s been sleeping through the nights in his office chair instead of his bed.

Usually, you were admittedly pretty needy; something Law liked to tease you for. Constantly running your mouth, begging for him to give you a drop of his attention, to take care of you and ease the ache that seems to always be present when he’s around. It’s absolutely agonizing to give him space, but you’ve always respected his work ethic and ambition, and would never want to get in his way.

However, he’s been making it inexplicably difficult for you to keep to yourself. He’s barely said a word to you or the rest of the crew that wasn’t a captain’s order. You’re starting to feel actual physical pain from the distance.

You’re used to spending much more time with him, having been best friends for the better part of the last four years. If anyone has the right to be frustrated with his absence, it’s you.

You miss talking to him.

You miss his company.

You miss the way he looks at you when you cling to him.

You miss the way his hands feel when he touches you.

Your legs discreetly press together where you stand, hovering at the entrance to his office, mug of hot coffee in hand.

Coffee usually helps stoke the flames when his energy starts to dwindle, so you figured you would bring him the much needed pick-me-up before you make your way to bed. Alone.

You didn’t factor in how difficult it would be to keep yourself from jumping his bones.

Seemingly unaware of your ogling, you clear your throat to make yourself known before stepping in, setting the steaming mug on his desk.

“Thought you could use it.” You smile awkwardly, trying to conceal the filthy thoughts swirling in your head while he looks up at you through half lidded eyes. You could strangle him for making this so difficult.

He glances at the mug, then back at you, muttering a soft “Thank you.”

He looks mesmerizing when he’s tired. Hazy, far off, and soft around the edges. Your chest is aching and your throat burns with hidden desires clawing their way up your throat.

“Is there anything else you need, Captain? I’m heading to bed.” You mutter softly, praying he’ll take the hint and decide to join you.

His eyebrows twitch but he simply shakes his head, “This should do.”

His eyes burn through to your soul.

Usually you would have caved long ago, whining and begging for him to let you touch him, to take care of you the way he knew you needed it, but you wouldn't cave this time. You needed to remind yourself that he's an important man with important duties to attend to, and you would rather suffer than hold him back.

Instead, you force out a curt “Goodnight”, turning on your heels before the dam breaks and you start babbling nonsense.

Before you can take a step towards the door, you’re halted by a gentle hand around your wrist. The touch makes you shudder, biting back a whine. You missed his hands.

“You’ve been different.” Law states quietly, though you know it’s meant to be a question.

You can’t allow yourself to look at him yet. You know you’ll cave.

“You’ve been busy.”

Law hums in understanding and disappointment, gently tugging your arm to face him. Your legs feel like jelly under his gaze.

The longer he looks at you, the more aware you are of how dry your mouth is suddenly, how your stomach feels tight with restraint, and how he’s looking at you like he can read your every thought.

Law soothes his thumb along your pulse, stopping to feel your heart race beneath his fingertip. His sharp smile twists into your gut.

It fascinates you, the patience and temperment Law expresses so easily, things you’ve never been able to harness.

With a shaky sigh, you finally let go of your tongue, unable to hold back any longer.

“Please, Law? I need you.”

His hands are on you in an instant, smoothing over your curves like butter as he pulls you to straddle his hips. The second his lips touch yours, you can’t stop yourself from pulling and twisting at his shirt, seconds away from ripping it to shreds. Needy whines flow freely as you desperately rock your hips.

Law rubs a calming hand against your back, and you can feel the corners of his lips twitch with a smile against yours.

He teasingly nips at your bottom lip, and is pleased at the lewd noise it draws from your throat.

“There she is.” He grins, and you groan when he pulls away to trail down your neck. His fingers dance under your shirt, leaving goosebumps up your back as he makes work to unclasp your bra.

Your skin feels like it’s on fire, melting into him like molten lava. Every touch sends your brain into overdrive, and you need to feel more.

“Please, Law, don’t tease me.” You whine, hips stuttering, struggling to keep up with your head, “I’ve been so patient. I didn’t wanna disturb your work, but I can’t help it.”

You ramble into his ear, already barely coherent and digging your nails into his shoulders to steel yourself.

You press yourself against his chest, kissing and licking at his jaw, “I’ve missed you.”

Law cradles your cheek to sweetly kiss the corner of your mouth, dotting a feather light trail across your cheek. It’s his way of saying “I missed you too. I’m sorry.”

Your hand trails down to the zipper of his pants, but he stops you, pulling your wrist to his lips before placing it back on his shoulder. You protest as tears start to dot at your lash line.

“Let me feel you. I need to feel you.” You’re begging now, trembling against him as your patience dwindles. “I need you so bad it hurts.”

Law kisses you softly, like an anchor pulling you back down to him, grounding you. He tugs at your shirt in a silent order, and you pull away only to throw it carelessly on the floor beside you, along with your bra.

His cold hands immediately trail your exposed skin, not leaving an inch untouched. You’re practically limp against him at this point, overwhelmed and sobbing into his chest.

“Just fuck me already, made me wait enough.” You plead, tugging at his hair as you whisper filth in his ear, “Need your cock, Law, so bad. Please.”

A groan rumbles in his chest at your words, twitching in his pants. His fingers press into the fat of your hips, slowing your rocking motion to a slow rumble, rolling your clothed core against the tent in his jeans at an agonizingly perfect pace. His eyes darken when you gasp and whimper, already crumbling in his hands.

“Cum for me like this and I’ll give you anything you want.”

asks are open!

[bedoballoons]

Request!!! If I may~ How will they propose? 💍 For Lyney, Xiao, Wanderer, Albedo, Cyno, Kazuha, Tighnari, Kazuha, Heizou, Wrio, Kaveh, Alhaitham~ (feel free to remove some characters or split it if its too much to do at once :3)

Currently in wedding mood and brainrotting about how will the proposal go. Aaaaa 🥰🥰

~🦊🐾✨️

I love writing wedding proposals, they just are so beautiful and full of love, I hope you enjoy! <3

P.s. I did cut out alot of them but I will most likely make a second part!

─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂

{༻~Will you marry me?~༺}

CW: Very fluffy! (Pet names: Lyney: Mon amour, Albedo: My love, Wanderer: dummy, Kazuha: Butterfly)

(Includes: Lyney, Albedo, Xiao, Wanderer, and Kazuha!)

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

𑁍༄Lyney:

Lyney held up a card for you, but it wasn't like any of the others in his deck, in fact it wasn't even one you'd ever seen before, "Ooo did you get new cards Lyney? I thought I'd seen all your trick ones!" He chuckled softly, knowing full well that the card in your hands was not only one of his tricks...but also his whole heart, "This ones particularly special Mon amour, watch~"

You trained your eyes on the card, paying close attention as his hand waved over it, just like magic, the picture changed...showing nothing but a ring, a beautiful ruby ring. You weren't sure what it meant, if this was a trick of the eyes...or possibly a moment you'd been dreaming of, "Lyney-"

"What do you say? Care to spend forever together? Cause...I know I want to. I want to spend every single day with you." The magician smiled at you sweetly, you felt like your heart might explode, tears welling up in your eyes. There wasn't any other option, "Yes! Of course yes!"

"Phew, I was getting alittle worried." He pulled you close so he could kiss your cheek and before you could even open your eyes, he'd changed the card into the ring it had once shown.

𑁍༄Albedo:

"What are you up to my love?" Albedo sat down next to you, his arms wrapping around you almost automatically so he could pull you close and rest his chin on your shoulder. He just loved being so close to you, holding you and just watching whatever you were doing, it was almost like his way of studying what you liked.

"Just reading something. It's a love story and truthfully it reminds me of us." You leaned back into him, laying your head back so you could see his reaction...to your surprise...he had a slightly mischievous look.

"Do they? I suppose it isn't to difficult, our romance is truly out of a novel...do they happen to get married in the end?"

Your heart skipped a beat and suddenly you felt flustered, "Yes...why do you ask?"

"Just wondering if it's as accurate to our love story."

"But we arent-"

"Not yet, but if you say yes we could be~" He kissed your cheek as he reached into his pocket, retrieving a small black jewelry case.., "I promise it will be a happily ever after~"

𑁍༄Xiao:

"You arranged your teapot?!" You were in awe, unable to even form a coherent thought as you looked at the now beautifully decorated surroundings. Xiaos domain had originally never changed since he received his teapot, in fact he almost never used it as he preferred to sleep outside. He was originally going to give it to you...say you could build a home for the two of you to live together, but then something had changed his mind.

"I'm...sorry if it's not perfect. I was going to ask for help from the other adepti, but I decided I wanted it to be my own creation. My creation of the perfect spot for us..."

Your cheeks became dusted with a light pink as he spoke, he'd made the perfect spot for the both of you...and he'd done so in the perfect way. "Xiao I love it! We are going to live here together right! This will be our home!" You couldn't contain your excitement, you wanted to run into the home in the middle and squeal, but he seemed to have something else to say.

"Yes...but it's also more than that." He stepped closer to you, his hand gently intertwining with yours as he stared deeply into your eyes...he captivated your attention so easily when he did this, "I want this to be the place of our wedding. The place where we make our promise..."

"W-wedding??"

"Yes...if you will have me. I would like to marry you. Please?"

𑁍༄Wanderer:

"Can I open my eyes yet?" You groaned quietly, trying to peek through the cracks in Wanderers fingers as he lead you deeper into the forest, to a area you'd thought was off limits. You didn't know what had gotten into him, why he was so keen on making sure you couldn't see anything until he said so...why he seemed so absolutely and utterly nervous. He never got nervous, flustered maybe, but nervous? Maybe he was plotting something, "You're not trying to kill me are you?"

"What in teyvat are you talking about? If I wanted to kill you do you really think I'd go through the effort of bringing you here?"

"Maybe. Maybe I'd know if I could see where here is..."

"You can look in just a minute. Now shush and watch out for the branch at your feet."

"You said just a minute 5 minutes ago." You felt yourself wanting to roll your eyes, but to your delight he actually removed his hands so you could see...and it was anything but what you were expecting.

It was a miniature village, filled with creatures you'd only thought were in story books..and even crazier was the large cake they were grouped around. The letters were definitely wonky and some of the words weren't even spelled right, but it clearly read, "Will you marry me?" You spun around to meet Wanderers gaze and he simply smirked at you, "Answer my question dummy~"

𑁍༄Kazuha:

"Kazuha what is this place?" You gasped softly, taking in the vibrant hues of pink trees and the sweet smell of tea brewing, even the grass somehow held a magical feel due to its light blue tint. How this all could be in a cave was beyond your understanding, but of course it didn't surprise you, Kazuha had a way of finding the most beautiful hidden spots and he always enjoyed sharing them with you.

"It's one of the few places in Inazuma that I could come to after the decree had been set in place. It became a important part of my life, somewhere I could hide out and write my hymns and sorrows. Now I come back to show that the darkest part of my life has ended and is now replaced with the most bright and wonderful light. You of course being my light butterfly, I thought it only fitting to bring you here for this.."

Your eyes widened slightly, during his small speech he'd gotten more nervous...and then towards the end he seemed downright flustered, which was so different than his normally calm collected personality. "Bring me here for what?"

He smiled shyly at you, feeling like his heart might explode as he kneeled before you, retrieving the ring he had hand crafted for this very moment. He could tell you were beyond shocked and he hoped dearly that it was in a good way, "Will you marry me butterfly? I need my light in the dark...I cannot see any future without you..., every thought of the next day is centered around you and the love I can give you. Please, allow me to love you...forever and always."

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧

[silly-salty-utdr-rants]

an unnecessarily in depth analysis of my take on underfell papyrus

before we begin: let it be known that none of this is properly confirmed or canon, this is all based on the version of underfell that almost solely exists in my brain. also the quality of grammar, spelling, and translation of brainrot to coherent essay is not guaranteed. also uf!papyrus belongs to underfella

to start lets look at the very basics, what would it take to turn papyrus, the only person to believe even the worst of the worst can improve, the causation (however indirectly) of the true pacifist route, the only monster that will never kill frisk, the sole creature in the entire world of undertale to be dubbed the sadistic fuckface flower's favourite, that the world is kill or be killed? allow me to spin you the tale of how i think it happened.

maybe once upon a time when uf!papyrus was just a kid, he wanted to be a hero. he wanted to be a pacifist in a kill or be killed world. maybe, even unintentionally, he constantly put both him and his older brother in danger. and one day, he tried to spare the wrong people, so both he and his brother were scarred in the process causing a crack over the eye for papyrus and a lost tooth for sans. and on this fateful day papyrus was faced with the choice, kill the attackers and survive or spare them and be killed. and maybe since he's still alive as an adult, he chose to kill, thereby gaining his first LV.

at least thats what i think happened. this traumatic event would cause a number of changes in his life, including, ditching his former obsession with "being a hero" in favor of being a villain, on several occasions being peer pressured to murder, and being more harsh to sans.

BUT. as i have said before and will say again, papyrus' soul is almost definitely bravery and integrity so his preference for pacifism isnt going down without a fight! maybe his whole "kidnapping and torture chamber" schtick is an excuse to not have to kill someone while not being seen as weak. maybe he lies about how many people he's killed or how much LV he has when in reality both numbers are shockingly low. maybe he wants to be captain of the guard so he can delegate the killing to others. maybe he hates asgore because its because of him that their world is like this. maybe he never kills the human. one thing i've never understood is whether or not he kills or spares the human or if he does the whole "OOP YOU'RE AT ONE HP! TIME TO GO TO THE CAPTURE ZONE!" thing. i like to think that he does. hell ive already done a whole damn drawing on what i think it would look like.

⬇️

so yeah. he spares frisk. and maybe adopts them

one last aspect of this guy that intrigues me before i go! what is underfell papyrus' dynamic with flowey? maybe he respects flowey a ton. maybe papyrus is envious of flowey's courage to run away from fights and defuse them instead of hurting the opponent. maybe they're the only one that the other truly opens up to.

but these are only my thoughts on the dude because frankly, there arent enough character analysis about uf!paps. feel free to add your own! or not! i dont care!

[bigusbossus]

idk if you like otasune but imagine like otacon poking holes in all his condoms with the hopes of snake knocking him up even if he doesn’t want to because part of otacon’s silly little transgender abandonment issues brain thinks that if he gets pregnant that means snake won’t be able to abandon him… not that snake would but at the start of their relationship otacon is so sooo insecure that he’s convinced he will unless he somehow forces him to stay, like by getting pregnant. snake can’t actually get him pregnant though because he’s sterile but otacon doesn’t learn about that for wayyyyy too long like after he stops being insecure about snake leaving so before that he just keeps trying different things to get knocked up but none of it works

also I think if snake somehow did get him pregnant, otacon would actually like panic because he’s not ready to be a father yet so he’d have a whole mental breakdown about it to snake confessing to the whole plan and apologizing over and over while snake tries to calm him down. it’d take a lot of reassurance from snake but eventually they’d decide that whatever happens they’ll get through together. I think this can go the boybortion route or the carry to term route but either way otacon would quickly realize through the whole situation that snake is never going to leave him even over as big a fuck up as this

I think the boybortion route is the most likely though and I just know snake would be casing the whole clinic before letting otacon go in because he wants to make sure he’s safe

my honest reaction reading this but know i fw it i understand u mr otacon ..

Know Snake must've been even just a little angry that Otacon would do such a thing, but it was more of like "Why didn't you just tell me you were feeling that way instead of doing all this?" But he understands, him and Otacon arent that far off, just with Snake he's learned to live with being abandoned, its just his way of life, when something bad happens he just has to live with it. Its a little shit show for a bit with Otacon crying, barely coherent through tears trying to justify his actions but he knows himself baby trapping his boyfriend is not the way to go, he was just desperate and so wracked by everything that had gone down in his life that at the time he thought it made sense (undiagnosed mental illness...) but now that the consequences of his actions are staring him in the face and Snake knows the truth he realizes hes completely fucked up

But hes so lucky to have Snake, any other guy would have left him (and maybe called the cops on him) but Snake stays there, patting his back,holding his hand and brushing his hair behind his ears, waiting for him to calm down so they can talk about what to do next. So even though he mightve fucked up, Otacon sees that Snake really wont leave him, the man might be a little upset but hes rubbing the tears away from otacons face, telling him how much he loves him (while also letting him know that babytrapping him was stupid). Maybe they even cry in each others arms at the end of the night, two broken men completing each other. No matter what happens they will always be there for each other

also theyre most likely diy'ng the abortion 😭 theyre like extremely wanted so going to a clinic as just as risky as doing it at home, they probably just googled it. but if they did go to a clinic it wouldve been under a fake name, and wearing a disguise, they probably even went to otacons favorite ramen shop after

also alternatively um.. snake realizing he may never have the chance again to have a kid, and otacon also realizing that too... they both kinda want to have the baby but they also know that they really cant have one given their lifestyle, and as snakes gone through the foster system, he really dosnt want his child going through the same thing. ultimately they decide to go against their wants, because its not fair for their baby to grow up in this, and hey if its happened once whats to say it cant happen again, they just have to keep trying when theyre ready

[mages-ballad]

some stuff regarding dawntrail now that ive finished and had time to collect my thoughts, spoilers up to the very end inbound of course. sorry if its long i have many MANY a thought.

ok so i wanna preface by saying i DID like dawntrail. i love wuk lamat and i cried like 3 or 4 times, tural is a great location and it was very fun to meet all the different kinds of npcs there

HOWEVER theres some things that kinda feel awkwardly paced? if i can be completely honest, it feels like the first half and the second half of the msq are two entirely different plotlines that were smushed together. and this isnt even saying that everkeep/sphene/s9 are "too different" because its not even an aesthetic issue for me, its moreso the themes presented first half? a little slow but in a GOOD way, helps you get a feel for the land and the people and shows wuk lamat's growth. the succession plotline feels like a whole, coherent thing. i like it. as soon as thats over and you hit shaaloani though, its slow and quite literally filler aside from a few tidbits for erenville. it felt awkward how it was trying to show xak tural culture, but also heavilyyy favored screentime for the "cowboy" stuff over the hhetsarro (who also very much live in shaaloani and are part of tural), who we spent practically 1 quest with and it was to ask them for lumber. and THEN it goes right from that to a high-stakes plot with zoraal ja's attack and heritage found and everything progressing after that. on its own the plot has potential... but by living memory i got the impression that everything from the end of shaaloani and refitting the train to running through the memories of alexandria, it just felt like it was trying to be Shadowbringers 2/Endwalker 2. and it wasnt really working out the same. "a society faced a calamity and a leader figure cant let go of the past and will gladly sacrifice other worlds to keep the memory of their people alive/go back to how things used to be. theres also a city full of people that arent alive and are just memories. also you get to run through a dungeon that shows the destruction of the past world that said leader figure cant let go of." like thats just the ascians and emet and amaurot right there. we KNOW how this stuff goes. from endwalker and venat we learned that its impossible to strive for absolute peace and perfection and that suffering and death are unavoidable, and the importance of maintaining hope and being able to go keep going forward at those lowest points. the whole time between solution 9 and living memory i was just sitting there thinking to myself like??? have we not seen this same stuff before??? why isnt anyone saying anything??? i knowwww this is mainly wuk lamat's story and development but it felt almost wrong to have these plotlines and themes and neither the wol or any of the scions even point out how familiar it is. i was under the impression that dawntrail would be a point for the wol to take a backseat, but to ALSO use what weve learned from 1-90 to help others. i genuinely feel like they pushed the idea that this is a fresh start *too hard* and everything weve gone through as the wol emotionally feels pretty ignored. aside from the whole "oh yeah btw were super strong weve been to the edge of the universe lol dont worry lol" like i hope this doesnt come off as me hating dawntrail. because i dont, and im interested to see the extent of travel between reflections and how thats handled going forward. but i cant help but feel like something was missing in that 2nd half of the msq. i can only hope some of this stuff gets addressed in the patches, because as it stands rn, even with sphene gone solution 9 still feels weird. the theme of dawntrail wants us to respect their culture, but from past xpacs we already know that a society like that is factually not sustainable, especially when multiple npcs have already pointed out its flaws (declining birth rate, for example.) maybe thatll be resolved later, but as it stands rn, the contradictory of themes is confusing. this is getting reallllyyy long and rambling now but WHEW i just needed to get this all off my chest. on a positive note to end this, im very much enjoying the dungeons and combat so thats been good.

tl;dr, 1st half of msq good, 2nd half confusing, combat good.

[jemmo]

omg thank you so much for replying to my rant with another rant, i love your takes on this show so much istg my brain is just his man 2 these days 😭 i also wanted to rant about junsungho because i'm so obsessed with them, they've completely taken over my heart. like even without a date, they've progressed so beautifully and naturally, it's just impossible for me to not root for them. it's the way junsung takes every opportunity he can to show sungho all his love languages - gift giving in the form of zero coke and cookies, the adorable quality time they shared when they were roommates and throughout ep 7, physical touch in the form of head pats to wake sungho up, words of affirmation 24/7 and especially through his phonecalls, and the continuous acts of service 🥹 he's so sincere and straightforward, yet he never does anything to burden sungho with his feelings. he never expects anything in return and just follows his heart, so whenever sungho does do something for him it feels extra special and god why is he the cutest ever 😭 i'd like to think that junsung is definitely starting to affect sungho way more than he thought he would (like hello, the 100% friendship turning into him being 50/50) and it's so apparent why - he looks so comfortable around junsung, their banter is so natural and the way junsung's phonecalls make him smile like THAT every time is just so telling. i really hope they get a chance to go on a date real soon because i think just the two of them hanging out and focusing on each other is what sungho really needs (what we all need honestly) 🥺

we are well and truly stuck in his man 2 land until this ends arent we?? who am i kidding, im gonna be stuck here afterwards too i seriously cannot get this show out of my mind and at this point ive gone past coherent thought, all my rants are just me gushing.

and you are so so right about junsung and sungho, my roommates that arent even roommates anymore but will always be roommates in my heart. there is just something so special about watching the way junsung has approached sungho, it honestly feels like something ive never seen before neither in fiction or reality bc it is just so pure hearted and sincere and simple. like he likes this person and he's just showing it in whatever way he can and not ever demanding anything in return, its the kind of affection that is like i just wanna see you happy and i'd really like it if i could be the one to make you happy. and there's something so special about how he's had such rubbish experiences both with coming out and dating and we don't even know the half of it and yet he remains this good of a person, its like in the face of the shit life has thrown him, he's stood resolutely and said i won't let this change me, i will still be me. like he is truly someone that is not hiding, and the way he instantly claimed his sexuality when forced to come out tells me that he will not stand for people making him doubt or feel ashamed about who he is. and you can feel that steadfast resolution in how he pursues sungho, and this faith in his own feelings that singled him out on day one and not wavering since. and yet he never demands reciprocation. that's why its so nice to watch, bc you arent watching someone pursue someone unwantedly, or make them feel pressured to return that affection. he just constantly makes sure sungho knows and is reminded of his feelings and sungho can reciprocate if/when he wants to. and thats why i never feel uneasy watching them, bc i dont feel like sungho is uneasy or under any pressure to do anything or change his behaviour or tiptoe around junsung's feelings. its pure ease, and thats why its so beautiful to see sungho slowly develop those feelings for junsung. its giving fell first vs fell harder yknow, like look at this person doing so much not just with this arbitrary end to date me, but bc he actually likes and cares about me, the person, not the goal. and when i watched the first ep of the show, sungho was my instant favourite bc he is so cute and hot and charming and loveable and kind and funny, he has so many sides to him that you wouldnt expect, and i adore junsung for all the reasons ive just ranted about too, so it says a lot when i say these two people are so deserving of each other, like i would not settle for anything less than someone who appreciates these people for everything they are, and thats what these two are.

and when we get that 1 on 1 date, bc i know its happening, i feel it in my bones, you know im gonna be in tears in front of that screen, with the biggest dumbest smile on my face, and i wont be able to move on from it

[stiskry]

kokonui shit bc ill never finish a real fic

gonna start just posting random bits of kokonui prose because every day i believe less and less that I can write a coherent fic: -- Koko was Seishu’s best friend. He knew everything about him, even the things Koko didn’t think he did. Hell, he knew things that Koko probably didn’t know about himself. Today however, Koko felt like a stranger. His expression was unreadable, as if the words he knew so well had suddenly been replaced by another language. --

(Inupi/Koko play cards with others. Koko wins out and Inupi keeps playing.)

Koko gently nudged Seishu, “Hey, let me see your hand.”

Thinking nothing of it, the latter presented his hand to Koko, who took it in his. Seishu was reminded of how surprisingly soft Koko’s hands were, making his feel all the more battered in contrast. 

A moment of furrowed brows and pursed lips passed across Koko’s face before he softly laughed and clarified. “Seishu. The cards.”

--

“For god’s sake Koko! You can’t even call me by my name. Of course I’m Inupi, I’ll always be your Inupi but for once I’d like for you to call me Seishu. It’s like you’re scared that calling me that will kill her again.”

“Seishu.”

“Say it again.” Seishu blurted. (not including the rest it's embarassing /j) --

“That’s ridiculous Inupi. I don’t keep secrets from you. Nor you from me.”

They both knew it to be false. Koko never breathed a word to Seishu of how he got the money. And Seishu? He never let Koko understand the true nature of his feelings. 

-- (this is bonten tl btw :3)

Seishu smiled at Koko weakly.

“You know, I always thought you were gonna be the one who made it. Got a high-paying, white-collar job. Something like that. I’d be the one who never let go of my teenage games, either got myself killed or stayed in a gang. Look at us. I’ve got a stable career and you? You never found an ‘out’. You’re still stuck on someone’s leash.”

Koko stared at him, silent. Seishu continued. 

“Is it the money? It means nothing now. I know you don’t want to hear it from me but this is fucking pointless. One day you’re going to sit down, with more money than you could ever need and she will be just as dead as she was when you were a penniless, desperate boy. No value of money, or drunken kisses on my lips could ever bring her back. Don’t you get it? She’s-”

Seishu was cut off by the shattering of glass against the wall. 

“Shut up. Every time. Every fucking time you enter my life you start this. ‘Oh she’s dead Koko!’ I know! God, when it happened I could barely look at you without knowing. Every glance was a reminder that she was dead and you, her spitting image, were okay. Over a decade later, I still have to see her in your stupid face. All that money I raised, the youth I gave up? Fucking pointless. You don’t understand how deep I went. The things I became familiar with! How could I go back? My god I tried. I did it. I went to school, I studied, I was top of the class! But it was never a real choice anymore. Any normal life I’d always be playing pretend at. So yes. Yes I play the same games I did as a teen. And I am fucking destroying them. You’re not better than me just because you settled for normalcy.”

Koko’s voice was shaky, laced with thorny anger. Seishu had pushed the line, poked the sleeping feral cat. A cat that now shook, silent cries threatening to crack him open. Gently, Seishu approached the man before him and wrapped his arms around him. The familiar warmth of his body melted into the embrace, and Koko’s hands clenched the fabric of Seishu’s shirt. 

“Shh, you’re okay. I’ve got you. I’ll always have you.”

okay bye bye these are all the like mostly loose bits I had that I feel like publishing LMAO i might havce to fake my death and move to another country if these arent appreciated

[freakurodani]

Would you like to share your thoughts on the bokuakakuroken dynamic?

OKAY so uhh it took me longer to get to this than anticipated. unfortunately i got this ask RIGHT before i started my shift, and its been ough, more than 12 hours since i ended my shift, which means my thoughts had so much time to change and morph

i will try to gather my thoughts into coherency fjakjbas (no promises tho,,), these arent all necessarily romantic, i think they CAN be! but i think if they are a polycule, theyre a friendgroup first?? idk, i think they are a mix of romantic, queerplatonic, friendship soup yknow??

but i really enjoy the subtle rivalry between akaashi and kenma on the court. It's not the overt goading and gloating that bokuto and kuro have with each other, but its there. And I adore it. Captains and setters mirroring each other... balance... in my brain. I think there is lots of team work OFF the court between kenma and akaashi too, especially when it comes to making fun of bokuto and kuroo. they have an understanding

i think bokuto and kenma are an interesting pair. in volleyball, bokuto is WAY TOO MUCH for kenma. he's loud and boisterous and greedy. he's like shouyou, kenma can't get away with anything. off the court, bokuto is STILL A LOT, but he also shows such *genuine* interest in kenma's interests, he's attentive and engaged. he also gets *way less* scandalized by nudity and gore in Kenma's more intense games. Kenma isnt great at explaining things, but bokutos go gettem attitude makes him a pretty fun player two

kuroo and akaashi... i thought about them a lot. to me, they are STEM and HUMANITIES solidarity. I'm going to tangent to curate the vibe~~.

The separation of stem and humanities is a fairly recent development in education/academia. in the european renaissance, art and science were so deeply interconnected. to be an artist you had to understand the natural world. it helped you greatly as a scientist if you could depict the world you saw. Leonardo da Vinci probably comes to mind, incredible artist and inventor. He stared at water for hours watching it ripple. He believed that if you were not outside drawing every second you could, you were hardly an artist at all (he was VERY hardcore, and VERY uhh.. most ppl didnt like him much. Same with michelangelo. Raphael was the renaissance's golden boy, it's why the pope was in close contact with him while he did the school of athens in his library while michelangelo was still waiting for a letter back from the pope about the sistine chapel (pope didnt wanna talk to him) none of this is relevant but i LOVE talking about this stuff. Bernini is my favorite, though he is Baroque/late renaissance rather than High Renaissance (after the mannerist movement!! very important distinction. (did you know there were TWO bernini's? Gianlorenzo's father, pietro would have been more famous if his son wasn't a prodigy. but he wasn't resentful, he ate up his son's skill, was very proud "i will be known as the father an mentor of the great gianlorenzo!" cute stuff) what number of parenthesis am i at? i think this is the last one)

i digress. I think of akaashi, a literature nerd, and kuroo, a science nerd. and I think of them appreciating that about each other. I like to think that if one of them has intense, burning thoughts about something that moves them, a passage written so beautifully, a chemical reaction so moving, they share with each other. both of them i think, share a certain appreciation for the beauty in the world, and can really appreciate the beauty that the other's perspective comes from. they bleed into each other, akaashi starts thinking more of the physical world, and kuroo, already a metaphorical savant (we are blood, anyone?) appreciates akaashi's musing (absolutely LAUGHED at him the first time Akaashi waxed poetic about bokuto though. They have solidarity but they still lowkey antagonize each other aksfjbaksjfbaskjfbakj)

i think ill cut my thoughts off here. ive really rambled and i think most of it wasn't STRICTLY about bokuakakuroken, but when i was thinking about them yesterday, this.. kinda was the deal. my thoughts can be really difficult to capture and tie down, theyre amorphous clouds that twist and change in hurricane winds so sometimes they just come out as "WAAHA CRYING SOBBINGS OUGH" because thats the only way i can get them out before they slip away

im supposed to be writing things down more, it helps me a lot. but, if you were interested in maybe a sneak peak of what its like to try to think of a single topic in my brain,,, here u go! please enjoy the content you asked for, and i hope the content you DIDNT ask for was at least a little bit interesting <3

[jellyhoons]

     the prettiest to me [ft. s.jh]

REQ : ✩ GENRE : comfort CW/TW : use of "girl" + reader's insecurities arent specific + vaguely academia/official setting implied WC : 795 SUGGESTED 🎧: prettiest to me, hybs XOXO : guys ur all The nicest n prettiest ppl. btw + [m.list]

you didn’t hear him at first. the sound of your own thoughts, heavy and cacophonic successfully drowning out everything else. the only thing you had wanted was to get home as soon as possible, to be away from the weight of the tiring day.

away from the whispers. away from the way your reflection in the glass window seemed to taunt you, reminding you of every insecurity inducing aspect of yourself that you’d been trying so hard to ignore.

and then, a voice cut through the muted hum of conversations and soft shuffles of people leaving the room, shattering your daze.

“y/n.” 

shin junghwan's voice is soft when it calls out to you. soft enough that you can pretend to just not have heard it. you’ll deal with him later, when you’re more coherent and there aren’t tears threatening to tip over the second you dare to blink. you resolutely continue walking towards the door. 

but then, a surprisingly strong grip on your wrist causes your movements to stop and in one swift motion, you’re all but pulled back, ending up face to face with him.

“i’m talking to you.”

his intense gaze is fixed on yours and you find yourself almost incapable of breaking away. before you can even begin to muster up some sort of a defense, make some kind of excuse if nothing else, he speaks up. 

“you’ve been ignoring me. blowing me off whenever i tried to say something to you. d'you really forget how long we’ve been friends for? of course i noticed how stressed you’ve been these days. i ... i don’t know what it is exactly that’s troubling you but please, please let me help.”

to be fair, you hadn’t meant for it to get this bad. it had been easy enough to brush questions off at first, to wave away concerns with a vague laugh. you knew lying to him was out of question though. he knew you too well. so, fine, yes, maybe you were avoiding him.

however, being backed up in a corner like this by shinyu, the least confrontational person you knew, was apparently jarring enough for you to end up mumbling out your thoughts. how you didn’t feel comfortable with your appearance, how you ended up overhearing some .. comments which only further fed your insecurities and led to you not really knowing what to do with yourself. 

when you finally allow yourself to look up and gauge his reaction ... the way his grip on your wrist loosens abruptly, the absolute shock on his face almost makes you laugh.

“... seriously? from – from all the things i thought you would be upset about ..,” he steps back slightly, his tone incredulous as he studies your entire profile, “i really didn’t think it would be your appearance..

..i don’t get it. you have to know whatever that person said was absolute bullshit, right? you’re – you’re literally perfect. trust me when i say that i, of all the people possible, i would know better. how could i not?

“wait, but-,” you try to interject, but your attempts are to no avail.

“i swear to god, the only flaw you could possibly have is that you don’t see how amazing you are. but- y/n …,” he sighs, shoulders dropping slightly, “i just wish you could see yourself the way i see you. ”

“junghwan.” your voice is slightly shaky, unsure. “look, i… i do appreciate the sentiment really, but… what – what did you mean by that .. emphasis?...”

“...”

“junghwan?”

his voice is steady as he answers, albeit quiet, “right. i knew this would happen one day. i like you. a lot. have, ever since i met you actually.”

“oh.”

“you don’t have to say anything,” junghwan rushes to add, “i don’t expect an answer, really. i just… i just want you to stop being so hard on yourself. please.”

“... no promises," you say after a pause. “... but i swear i’ll do my best.”

“i’ll be here to remind you, then. as many times as you want.” he leans in, silently seeking permission before pressing a featherlight kiss to your forehead.

“shinyu, i…,” you can’t help but falter slightly, the warmth emanating from him making it a little more difficult to search for the right words. “just- wait for me okay? i clearly have things to work through. but i don’t want to lose you.”

“you won’t,”  he promptly reassures, “you’re stuck with me forever.”

that finally gets a laugh out of you. “that’s perfect, then.”

junghwan cups your face in his hands, allowing your forehead to rest against his. “hey." "i’m looking at you right now,” he murmurs, voice barely more than a whisper. “and you’re the prettiest girl in the world.”

𐙚 . regulars : none yet! ⋆

[@bambisnc] 2k24

[only-lonely-lovers]

08.12.2022

tags: sex dreams, dreams in general

Bird is あ / Avvy is つ

つ：i think the concept of tsukasa being like "there we go. very good" while you come is like a nightmare hanako would have. its been funnny to think about bc it isn't their dynamic. its liek you have an extremely fucked up dream that is inscrutable

あ：lol yeah just something to make you feel really fucked up like -- NO..

つ：hai, hai……

あ：its so funny though bc like again one has incest dreams even when youre a normal person the thought of alive boys ever having them its mutually so funny

つ：yes, they're completely normal. its something i think about. its free childhood incest thoughts no rules no limits

あ：in my mind tsukasa isn't able to parse his as incest he's just like. what a silly little dream i had about amane and the contents arent actually incriminating enough it really is like we're helping each other pee

つ：he's just like ah that was interesting

あ：omoshiroi. that would never happen though.

つ：as much as you have a dream you both eat big caterpillars together off of leafs wooow intresting. i liked that that dream had amane in it

あ：as unfettered about them as one could be amane hasnt been in my dreams for a few days. im glad he is back

つ：amane wakes up more like… woeuhg.. [going to try to willfully forget this. distract with tasks] ugh… weird dream… shakes it off

あ：in a haze sometimes. like wipes drool off of mouth. eugh…. well whatever…. as weird as having dreams where i'm like stuck in this scary old man's sexual carnival like just garbage brain making up shit [represses]

its like overall i think amane just ahs more sex dreams. and sometimes they're nonsense by virtue of having more. just fodder.

つ：i think when you get into the harming phase of their relationship…. it's…. hmm. going to get sicker but I also love the idea of nutting in sleep but the dream wasn't coherently sexual at all

あ：mnnn yeah i think then its a lot more.. visceral, relevant, and stomach twisting

つ：when you have major anxieties repeating all the time it does start to reflect… ah no sad tothink about amane having a lot of dreams tsukasa goes missing again, NOOO

あ：I think emotional stress IRL makes things manifest more coherently in dreams… well, its like it simulates your sense of helplessness etc

having dreams where tsukasa just is very listless and if you let go of his hand for a few minutes he's trying to leave, crawl out windows, like a pet stress dream

つ：probably a lot its his fault, too..... get distracted as one does in dreams.... forget about tsukasa while you're like. tabbing through dolls in an extravagant shop. only remember him existing later like MY-- TSUKASA!!!! NO!!! TSUKASA!!!! RUNNING AROUND THROUGH EVERY BUILDING

あ：dreaming about being in crowds and tsukasa just walks in the opposite direction and he's just gone you blink and you're just like ??? wait. oh NO

つ：dreams of hearing tsukasa just behind a door and opening it and he's not there… desperately opening hundreds of dors…

あ：and calling his name and sometimes you hear "amane" but also like "its fine… im fine…. you dont have to come…" and its just like😭 TSUKASA!!!

つ：the nature of how blissful you were before he disappeared means you can never have just…. security. i imagine dreams would be very cruel and be very WOO HOO BOUNCE HOUSE and then tsukasa gone

when bird can't stop himself from like . forgetting about me or neglecting me in a dream like you just have an extreme memory problem

あ：Noo yeah like i just have this disability almost, I'm just pathologically unable to be more attentive or considerate. Like i fall out of time. Amane just getting so engrossed in tuning his telescope

つ：youre like discovering a new astrological phenomena or some crap or for age 5 youre like seeing. real bunnies on the moon. making a stupid discovery

あ：Lately i keep having dreams where im being so supremely picky about video games like … obsessing about old consoles and getting the right versions of games. but it makes me meaner and shittier somehow like a version of myself thats an eviler nerd. thinking about Amane more or less becoming some goblinized version of self, liek you're staring into your telescope and you FEEL tsukasa's hand tugging you urgently but you slap him dismissively and keep adjusting and when you look up tsukasa's just liek gone His stuff is all scattered on the floor in a mess like he dropped a bunch of stuff and staggered away

つ：you wake up and you. must. let tsukasa do whatever he wants today lead the way… tsukasa PLEAAASE

あ：anything at all roachie So sad, you can really imagine there being bed time distress both at like 4-5 freshly dealing with tsukasa going missing/returning, and then 12-13 as life gets bad

I just think early days there was soo much anxiety to be had also about tsukasa leaving again…. ah, i like to think about them really being prone to waking up in the middle of the night from bad dreams and face snuzz and cuddle… just need the comfort

つ：it had to have been .... the circumstance which really rots them from the inside out..... the act of losing contact, once.....

あ：Its reasonable to, come a little, in your sleep, once in a while. after everything you've been through.

つ：it is completely normal and reasonable.

あ：Sitting here trying to think about what the average random incest dream for Amane is before things get psycho specifically and it's so funny I think he's just like ruined himself from porn. I think it's like I'm jerking off in dream and then Tsukasa is like WHOA let me help. WOW your cock is awesome.... Amane... Impressive, its bigger than mine. wow. WHAO!!1 your come... so cool

つ：ITS GOTT ABE THE WORST WHEN HE'S LIKE TOO DUMB TO HAVE NUANCE OR ACUTE SHAME BUT IS HORNY AND LOOKING AT PORN

あ：like the gormlessness of an amane at some point being like ahah.F GH.F. sh/.. SEX!!!

つ：tsukasa is just there bc he always is and you know him and he is always supportive and down and thinks you are really cool

あ：Yes sjkfdjgh like i think its almost comically like oh let me help you with that. Your hand looks tired brother Just sit back I think some dreams are like. tsukasa wasnt part of the plot but suddenly in the middle of it you know tsukasa

つ：whoa it went really far!!! itslike a normal dream youre like hiding in a closet jerking off but then tsukasa is just there to comment on your cool hog

あ：it's a gormless sex dream like you're going to fuck a big life sized sex doll or something and tsukasa is suddenly here to pull down your pants for you

the random detail in someone's sex nightmare where the machine had to jerk them off to make them erect before cutting it its like wait you need to get hard first.

つ：fkld;sjfsk its sf funny how dreams are procedural and not tasteful HERE I'LL HELP puts dinosar hand puppet on your cock and goes homf homf homf

あ：exactly

つ：butits a dream so youre like fuck it feels so fucking good jesus ive never felt anything this good in my whole life

あ：yes. its also like haphazard and completely abandons plots and changes details for no reason so suddenly its like ahhh i fuck the dinosaur puppets mouth and like THIS is the fetish i was chasing

I actually think itd be funny if Amane's inability to like respect people as individuals means he cannot have sex dreams with strangers so its always some stupid fetish nonsense your mind cannot generate the fantasy of interfacing with people. so instead you really are sooner some panty stealing pervert or like at best peeping into love hotels or something

it's like ahh in this dream im really hornyabout marbles what number is the sexiest

つ：it feels just so feasible you like hear about dinosaurs laying eggs and youre like whoa i forgot dinosaurs would have sex like normal animals [THINKING OF THEM LIKE UNICORNS OR DRAGONS MAGICALLY] . have a dream you guys are playing dinosaurs and tsukasa is like. auhho i wanna have eggs [you are 4 with no understanding of biology] get eggs in me

あ：Please amane screaaaaaa and its like oh god oh christ… gets into the positions

its all crude and like meaningless dream nonsense but the point is its like whoa feels pretty good

つ：dreams can put you through any bullshit and irl youre like coming about it

あ：itd actually be funny to be like older but having a dream about being 4 in the yard again and doing this but older like 8

つ：to have more knowledge. take it again. I know what it means to put egg in you now

あ：the dream wires get mixed up and you start also RPing attacking tsuaksa during it still like bites [tsukasa shrieking]

つ：fighting you….. wrasslin in your grasp

あ：its a dream you really bit through his shirt and there is blood

[sleepii-moth]

the fact that fnaf after everything with its creator still has adult fans and is getting new merch, games, and other things made for it is wild to me. regardless of how you feel about death of the author or whatever, the new fnaf content that is being made is getting less and less coherent plot wise and the gameplay is getting repetitive. From an objective standpoint i think that the first fnaf game was never meant to be what the series became. As someone who has a general knowledge of how games are made, especially when it comes to narrative driven games, it was clearly meant to simply be a gameplay focused horror game with a little story thrown in to give some cool backstory and add some mystery, and then maybe there'd be a few more games in the series that expand on the mechanics and elaborate on the story a bit but its pretty reasonable to assume that the story of the game was meant to be mostly up for interpretation and that as a series, it wouldnt be too long. Unfortunately though, it ended up gaining fame and people reading more into it which definitely contributed to the series being what it is now (and also yknow.. money is another reason.) It sort of ended up having a certain Supernatural (tm) effect where it kept getting worse but people still watched it which i guess answers my question of why people still like it (because people arent willing to let things they like go even if theyre bad) but that is an unfulfilling answer to me and theres definitely a more fulfilling one

so im wondering now.. are people (not counting kids for a reason) who still like fnaf holding onto the series because they liked the concept (of animatronics, a sprawling mystery, and other things) and have never found or heard of other things that share those same concepts? Or is it really just simply holding onto things that are nostalgic to them? Im genuinely curious because i have been into things that just got bad because they went for too long or tried to do convoluted things with the story that i just moved on from. I still remember when i was younger i watched supernatural with my sibling, and did really enjoy it, we got pretty late in the show before my sibling told me they thought it was getting worse and didnt want to watch it anymore. Of course as a kid who didn't really even know how to tell if a form of entertainment was bad, i was a little upset and didnt understand why but agreed anyway. And so we stopped watching supernatural and watched other things together like steven universe that we ended up liking way more. Occasionally there would be tv show or anime that just ended up sucking and from then on we just stopped watching it and watched something else.

I think the reason i fully stopped liking fnaf was partly that i recognized the content i was watching for it (like lets plays or theory videos) were getting worse and i also just grew out of it? As the years went on i got into other games like half life or portal that had way more fulfilling stories to me that i enjoyed a lot more so fnaf just became something i didnt care about. fnaf is like the cracker barrel of video games to me, i went there as a kid because other people liked it so i was supposed to also like it and mostly really liked it because it was restaurant food and to a kid thats better than anything you get at home (and also they have little toys), and then one day when i was older and had gone to more different places i sat down, ate my food, and thought "wow this is bad actually," and never ate there again. And all of that is to say i really do wonder if the majority of adult fans of fnaf still like it because its one of the few games theyve engaged with in their life, and that if they were to expand their palette, try new things, and look back on their interests, then theyd be able to more easily accept its (and its creators) problems and move on from it as purely a thing of their past. because i promise you, there are better things out there, not everything is cracker barrel or supernatural, theres genres youve never even heard of, games that no one knows about waiting to be played, theres the sprawling mysteries of Outer Wilds, the gut wrenching horror of Devotion, the captivating characters of Psychonauts, the expansive world building of Half Life, there are so many better things out there made by better people. Letting go of something doesnt hurt as much when you have more things to enjoy. There are better things out there, you just have to stop looking in the same place.

[moon-buggg]

#Y WE S HES YES YES YOU GET IT YES#I GO INSANE ABOUT THIS DAILY#i think genuine kindness would scare the shit out of them#and they would not only push someone away but get Angry#they don't even know why theyre so angry#maybe the audacity to (in their mind) try to force them to act like a human when they clearly arent#they are not people!!! stop trying to treat them like it!!! <- that's how they think#and i think sun especially values itself as a tool over anything else so the idea that it could be treated as anything more is disturbing#moon tells itself it doesnt thing that way but.... it does it totally does#it gets out of the control of fazco and jumps right into vanny's lmao#because while she doesnt treat it like a person (comforting in its mind) she lets it do what it wants#raaaaaaaaaaaaaagh rattling the bars of my enclosure#reblog#other people's writing#i also think sun would rationalize it as the kind person is actually trying to take advantage of him#(ignoring that its being taken advantage of already??? but that's different. that's how it's supposed to be)#so i think part of that anger and pushback would come from “how dare you think you can take advantage of me”#idk lots of thoughts and none of them are coherent;; via @normal-about-the-dca

you guys have got to stop leaving such delicious tags on this post put them in the post proper where they belong!!!! I'm eating them all up they're so good!!

I also think along with the feeling of being taken advantage of, there is a fear that this is A Test. That you have this person coming in, acting like you are Special, like you're More than just a daycare attendant robot, who seems to be trying to get you to admit that you have thoughts and feelings that were not coded into you (and you Don't!! You don't.) and you have No Idea what they're going to do with that information if you admit to it. If you slip up. Which would never happen because you Don't have those feelings!!! You are not special you are exactly what they Told you you are and nothing more.

Like, they've already been punished once. Have already been changed against their will, forced into a job they did not want and were not made to do. So what happens if they fail this test? What more could possibly be taken from them? How much can they toe the line of acceptable odd behaviour before they are decommissioned? How can they possibly trust that this stranger will not use this against them? That they aren't here because some higher up got suspicious and wants a report back on their behaviour?

Why are you so nice? Why do you seem to care so much? What do you want from them? And what are you going to do with what you find?

Fic idea I truly just do not have time to write (and I'm sure exists in some way shape or form already lol) but-

You know that post about refeeding syndrome and being touch starved? You know how YN is pretty universally written as being like, one of the only if not The only person who doesn't just treat the dca like an object?

I bet it's uncomfortable having someone treat you like something more than you believe you are. I bet that just as much as they yearn for the connection you represent, their body rejects it. I bet there's push back every time you act like their opinions matter. I bet that you have to ease them into kindness like a cornered animal waiting for a strike.

It takes time to allow their walls to give way, to not bristle whenever you ask what they think. To not rattle off whatever objective answer their coding tells them and hide their actual opinions. It is a slow, tedious process and any attempts to rush it will result in them pushing back. Pushing you away, denying whatever you're suggesting. It takes time for them to trust you to take care of tasks in their absence, to get them to allow you to offer them even the smallest bit of comfort.

And as much as they desperate crave, desperately need that gentle hand, it still stings. Because now that they've gotten a taste, they finally realize they've been starved for years and years and years. And they're so, so afraid of going hungry again, of losing the sole meal they've ever been allowed. They want to be greedy, want to gorge themselves on your sweet words and reassuring touches, but it makes them sick all the same

[steveharrington]

Could you talk more about the issues you have with s4? I’m only asking bc I think you’re very sensible when writing about ST!

yessss i love to whine and complain <3 plus ive had a lot of time to Reflect and Marinate on the season so i think these thoughts will be more coherent than some of the stuff i was posting directly after it came out. here we go <3

biggest overall complaint is steve's storyline taking a sharp left turn back into stancy territory. before anyone sends me a why dont you like stancy ask: stancy itself isn't even the reason i disliked this storyline! (also they arent compatible and want different things and its canonically stated like 5 different times in the show) but the Main reason i disliked steve's writing this season was that it largely undermined the value of his relationships with other people. season two established that steve would willingly put himself in harm's way for the kids both against billy and in the tunnels, and season three went on to establish that steve feels the most comfortable when he's hanging out with robin and dustin and just being himself, free from social expectations. all of these discoveries that we worked up to since season one were basically just forgotten in this season. steve is annoyed with dustin, annoyed about staying with the kids, gets injured and only has a meaningful interaction with nancy while robin just walks off screen, doesn't get a single emotional interaction with dustin about the danger they're in or the trauma they're undergoing even after eddie fuckin DIES and overall i just felt like he wasn't acting like himself in terms of his relationships with other people, and this to me seems like an issue with the duffers wanting to prioritize a love triangle once again

i also just have issues with the plot writing as a whole. soooooo many glaring mistakes that just do not seem typical of a stranger things season! ive seen people say "well what did we expect" NOT THIS?? idk from small details like will's birthday and hopper apparently just lying on the floor completely unscathed to larger overall bad writing like eddie's death being absolutely pointless and no one talking about it afterwards, the season somehow feels rushed? even though it was 2x as long as any other season and they had three years to write it? how do you have a 2 hr 30 min episode and not a single scene where the people who spent all season protecting eddie don't get together and talk about his death. that's just...unfathomable to me

out of the four storylines in volume one, two of them were like unbearably boring to me. im so sorry. it got to the point where every time it cut away from hawkins i would text em "FUCKKK" because they were far and away the most compelling story. i always predicted the russia plotline would be boring like the second s3 ended i said oh boy thats gonna be boring. but the HNL storyline......was somehow even more boring. and i love el! i liked venry as a villain! i LOVE JAMIE CAMPBELL BOWER but jesus christ is brenner a redundant boring ass character who's always entering the frame sneakily and saying some shit like "eleven......the virus inside you is spreading.....you are an evil evil little girl" like JESUS dude we get it. idk ive never found his character nearly as interesting as the show seems to think he is, and i think spending this much time with him this season was honestly a mistake! so glad he's dead rip. i also wasn't a fan of the stretched out bullying plotline because it was very cartoonish to me and also just like. not necessary. we already know el feels alienated. watching her get shoved to the ground and have a milkshake spilled on her precious little dress just felt like kicking her while she was down

anyways theres a lot this season did well! quite honestly, it all falls apart in the last episode. without the mistakes made there, it would have been so much stronger. but alas i fear it's my least favorite season of stranger things so far because of these issues </3 to me there were times where i was like "am i really watching stranger things right now??" because the writing choices were just so bizarre and uncharacteristic of the show as a whole. praying season 5 is better but i have a strong feeling season 2 will always reign supreme

[prettyboykatsuki]

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in a halo | s. hitoshi 

 ➳ !WARNINGS! ;; heavy kinks/dc ahead!! please be careful. gunplay, degradation, adrenaline play (?), unprotected sex, fem!reader,  assassin!shinso, graphic violence, mentions of blood/gunviolence, shinso mentions how he kills ppl vaguely, penetration with a foreign object (gun!), facefucking with said object also

➳ wc ;; 1.2k

➳ a/n ;; this is really just a way to use all that knowledge from when i hyperfixated on weapons for a month. 

➳ plot ;; shinso hitoshi knows you’re not naive. even with a gun at your throat.. or inside you.

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The metals hot. 

Shinso stares down at you with amusement. His eyes are heavier than when he left you in here this morning - lavender eyes accompanied by solace. There’s dark circles like the rings of a tree, eyelids that twitch from exhaustion. He’s admitted to you more than once that he doesn’t normally sleep everyday . He’s averaged out the hours by weeks instead of day. 

You squirm under the weight of his eyes, lidded. The mouth of the gun drags slowly along your jaw until it’s under your chin. Shinso knocks it against the bottom of your chin - undoing the safety with a gloved thumb. You gasp a little as he moves it away from you. 

He clicks the safety - on again and off again and on again and off again. Over and over until the tick is memorized in your head. You watch him with wide eyes - he’s a shadow over you. Large and looming, spindly over your skin  A leather glove cups your face - thumb dipping into your mouth until you open it. 

He sticks in between your slow. It’s almost holy - at least for Shinso it is. It slides into your mouth until it reaches the back of your throat. Shinso is careful not to make you choke but you drool. It pools on the floor in puddles - pathetically next to you. 

The metals hot. A metallic taste and warmth in your throat. You swallow around, almost on instinct. Shinso chuckles over you  as you try to remember the last click. If the safety is on or off. You whimper. 

He fucks the gun carefully into your throat. It’s almost gentle. For Shinso - this is as close as he can give you a proposal as of today. You blink up at him carefully, teary-eyed and aroused. 

He thinks your too defenseless - always have been. A pretty thing like you has no business being here in his headquarters. You followed him around like a puppy for this long and at first he just thought you were stupid. 

But you’re not. Rather it excites you to be this defenseless for him. Shinso thinks you must’ve been tired to end up at his feet like this. Wide-eyed and drooling and sucking the barrel of his gun with just as much vigor as you do with his cock. It aches in his jeans - pushing your head back until your eyes meet. 

“You’re really a clueless little slut, arent you?” ― Shinso hums, admiring the view of you on your knees ― “You know how dangerous it is for you,” 

Shinso doesn’t phrase it like a question because it isn’t one. It’s a statement - because Shinso knows you’re not stupid but rather a degenerate. He knows you can see it - the blood splatters on his white collared shit and the heel-toe of his dress shoes. He knows you see the teardrops underneath his eyes - knows you see the way the light seems to leave his eyes. 

The metals hot still. It would burn your mouth if it hadn’t been forced so deep inside. 

A trail of saliva - thick and clear fall onto the floor when he pulls it out. Your mouth gapes, eyes lazy with desire. Shinso grabs your face with his hand, cheeks smushed together as he folds over to reach. 

“It excites you, doesn’t it? When I go out there and do my job - you sit and wait for me to fuck you fresh off a hit cause you’re sick just like me right?” 

You never fail to surprise him but still - he doesn’t expect you to smile. It’s haphazard and lazy. A confirmation of things he already knew, he laughs. He grabs you by your throat and throws you over the desk till your bent over. 

You moan shamelessly as you feel it come between your folds. The metal is warm but not hotter than your cunt. Shinso crouches between your legs only to observe - poke and prod at your warm inside until you. 

“Never been so fucking wet before and it’s for this,” ― Shinso chuckles, standing up. He bends over you until your naked back is presed against his chest ― “Spread your legs and take what you asked for,” 

Shinso forces your face down on the wood desk as he slides the barrel between your folds. It feels strange and foreign against you, makes your thighs tremble. You squeal at the sensation. 

“This was my grandfathers gun,” ― Shinso muses, breath at the shell of your ear ― “It’s an American model, from the 1940′s. It doesn’t shoot quite as precise as a newer model might. A Smith and Wesson” 

You whine as Shinso digs the barrel along your clit. The shiny metal feels especially invasive like this but your clit throbs with desire. Electricity all the way down to your spine, making your toes curl. 

“There’s engravings on the side,” ― he presses against your walls with a warm sigh. The pressure in your core is only heavy - lust clouding your coherence ― “And the safety is shoddy no matter how much I repair it,” 

It clicks against your core and you shake. It almost feel numb - it’s an unforgiving pressure inside of you. The ridges of the outside drag almost too good inside of you. He pulls back and then pushes with immediacy, making you cry out. 

“I’ve got precise hands, so it’s fine,” ― Shinso chuckles, sinking his teeth into your neck  ― “Or it should be. Can you remember baby? If the safety is on or off?” 

You shake your head no - no longer able to communicate anything other whimpers. Lust is overbearing. Your sights and senses are filled with the smell of him and metal and gunsmoke. It’s too much all at once for you to take, but you can’t move with how Shinso pins you. 

You remember, briefly - his moniker. Shinso Hitoshi, Angel of Death. You remember how that too was passed down from his grandfather to his father. How angels are benevolent beings, extensions of god. You remember Shinso as benevolent when he fucks you so good with the barrel of his gun that your lungs feel like they’re lacing air. 

Your cunt is clenching so harshly, and Shinso’s grunting in your ear. You can feel his cock pressed into the meat of your thigh, the way Shinso ruts in tandem with it. You can’t help but cry out at the foreign object and how good it feels fucking you open. Prepping you for what’ll inevitably be Shinso next. 

“T-toshi, toshi - my god,” 

“Does it feel good, hm? Feel good getting fucked like this? Even though I could press the trigger at anytime,” 

“Feels so good, Toshi,” 

Shinso is benevolent - must be, with the way he holds you down. You can feel it coming before you can say it. A choked breath that makes Shinso groan into your ear. Every muscle in your body wound so tightly - your on edge and Shinso has his fingers on the trigger. 

“‘m gonna ― please ‘m gonna cum,” 

“Cum for me you fuckin’ slut,” 

You do, an entire shiver wracking through your body like a storm. You shake and shake until your limp, drooling onto the cherrywood beneath you as little spasms overtake you. You whimper as he pulls it out of you, the sudden emptiness make you whine. 

He scoffs at you briefly, patting the metal on your ass. 

“Don’t think it’s done yet,” he reminds you “You’ve gotta clean the mess you’ve made,” 

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[chaoticwholesome]

@love-love-you your HUGE brain...... the mentioning of how the main theme of The Boy Who Knew Too Much is queering usually-heterosexual narratives is making me absolutely Galaxy Brain bc it’s not something that crossed my mind yet and now I’d love to think through TBWKTM song-by-song and give ‘em a big Think over?? (and also find more interviews where he analyses his own songs since I havent seen many yet!) like so far the ones most quickly coming to mind are:

- We Are Golden: coming of age

- Rain: bending of the typical “break up song”

- Toy Boy: pinnochio-esque fairytales

- Pick Up Off The Floor: idk how to describe this but I always find this sounds like it would be sung by a femme fatale in a noir movie in a shady bar? anyway, Mika homme fatale™️ king

- Blame It On The Girls: idk but this song sure is Filled With Gender!

I would LOVE to hear ur thoughts if you had anything expanding on this! 👀

gay culture is that thing MIKA does in live performances of Toy Boy where he’ll say “clothes are made of rags - and they don’t even MATCH” with an extra lil hint of Bitchy Venom. i appreciate that