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caligvlasaqvarivm · 10 months ago

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Murder, Love, and Destiny: An Eridan Ampora Character Study

Warnings for things from Homestuck, like discussions of child abuse, mental illness, murder, suicide, etc. etc.

Because there's a huge wall of text after this point, I'm going to summarize what I hope to convince you of in bullet point format, and then hope you'll actually read the rest of the text before arguing with me about it.

Eridan is the least casteist highblood, if you ignore all the slurs.

Those are his emotional support slurs.

Pale EriKar was not only canon, but set up to be endgame.

Eridan is incredibly plot-relevant, thematically relevant, and was definitely originally intended to be brought back to life, alongside the other dead trolls.

He's Sad.

The first thing we have to establish is what counts as "canon" for the purpose of this essay. I am only counting the original comic up to Game Over, after which there's a general consensus that Hussie kind of gave up on his original planned ending, and slapped together something that most people hate. So I am immediately disqualifying Pesterquest, supplementary material, fanworks deemed canon, the epilogues, and Homestuck^2.

Moreover, we are taking Hussie's commentaries with a grain of salt, for two reasons. The first reason is that I firmly believe - and will be arguing - that the original plan was to bring Eridan (and the other dead trolls) back; therefore, Hussie (who has a track record of playing coy with future plot twists) can't speak too fondly of him, lest he give it away. The second reason for de-emphasizing Hussie's words is that, post-retcon, Hussie isn't very well going to say that he had plans for a better ending, and then didn't execute on them; to save face, he has to act as though his trashing of several prior plot threads, including but not limited to Eridan, was the plan all along.

Therefore, this essay will not be putting too much emphasis on Word of God, and will instead be relying on textual evidence from the comic itself, of which there is plenty. So without further ado:

Eridan is a Consummate Murderer.

The reason I'm starting with this point is that, far more than any other, this truth lies at the core of his being. Eridan is formally introduced to us with a murder, and he's haunted by an overpowering genocide complex. He outright describes to Rose at one point that "killin is all i evver done practically," and uses "murder" as an expletive (ie "swweet stinkin murder"). With a conservative estimate of 5 kills per week for 4 sweeps (Vriska looks VERY young when she has to start killing, and Eridan was likely a similar age when he began), both Eridan and Vriska easily have bodycounts above 2000 - the real number is probably even higher.

At this point, many raise an objection that Eridan is only killing lusii, but I believe we need to count his kills as troll murders, for three reasons: first, a dead lusus results in the orphaned troll being culled; second, one has to assume he has had cases of trolls trying to defend their lusii, or coming after him for vengeance; and third - and most importantly - Eridan HIMSELF is thinking about the orphaned trolls.

Compare Feferi: Go Home:

That should keep her happy for a while. At least until she dies.

To Eridan: Go Home:

That should keep her happy for a while. And make a freshly orphaned troll somewhere very sad.

So Eridan, to a much greater extent than even Feferi, is thinking about the orphaned trolls he's leaving behind, and considers his own actions to be murder.

Now that we've established the facts regarding his murders - a rough bodycount, and the fact that, by his own admission, he barely had any hobbies outside of it - we can move on to the effect that it's had on him. It's not very good!

Vriska's manipul8tions and murders had to be done for her own sake - if she ever stopped, she died. Therefore, much of Vriska's personality revolves around justifying her own actions so she doesn't have to reckon with her softer feelings, like guilt or kindness - which she expresses would be viewed as scandalous by others of her caste.

But if Eridan ever stops feeding Gl'bgolyb, everybody dies. The stakes he has riding on his shoulders are, at all times, the fate of all trolls, including all his friends. Given Dualscar's title was "Orphaner," it's implied that killing lusii for Gl'bgolyb has always been a violet blood's duty, and is seen as such by the others, which is why nobody expresses gratitude for his hard work even a single time.

Which brings us to our next point:

Eridan is Crushed by Anxiety.

If Eridan stops killing lusii, everybody - especially his friends, but everybody else, too - dies.

If Eridan ever shows guilt or kindness, he'll be considered "weak" by the standards of highbloods - he shares this with Vriska.

Eridan is expected, by aristocratic tradition, to take on the mantle of his ancestor Dualscar and finish his work. Dualscar met a comedically cringefail end, so this is a massive undertaking.

Before finding out that god tiering is an option - so, for nearly his entire life - Eridan has had to live with the expectation that he will outlive all of his friends. The lowbloods from culling or dying on the battlefield, the highbloods from old age, and Feferi from being killed by the Empress when she gets old enough.

(This is reflected in who he talks to the most - Feferi, who's the only one with a natural lifespan longer than his, Vriska, who's a highblood, Kanaya, who's practically guaranteed to survive into adulthood, and Karkat, whose anonblood allows Eridan to give him the benefit of the doubt.)

Also if he can't land his concupiscent quadrants he'll die from that too, but that seems pretty secondary to the rest of his concerns.

He can't even make friends with the other highbloods, because sea dwellers are expected to hate and antagonize them.

He had a free ticket into adulthood, but would almost certainly be expected to join the army and serve as a commander. That is to say, his fate of performing the role of a vicious, murderous sea dweller seems dreadfully inevitable to him.

NO WONDER he can't stop having emotional breakdowns. NO WONDER his chatlogs swing wildly from relentless self-aggrandizement to traumadumping. NO WONDER he's obsessed with murder and death and genocide.

Doc Scratch calls him a "vengeful boy on the path of nihilism," and it's not hard to see why: Eridan's entire life has been about living up to the role imposed on him by society, sacrificing his own time and sanity for everyone else, which he "nevver got any appreciation for anywway." And all he had to look forward to was more of the same, all his friends dropping dead one by one before him. For Eridan, there has never been any hope.

SGRUB could have been a way out for him, but a combination of his own terrible choices, spurred on by his anxieties, and his teammates' unwillingness to knock some sense into him, meant that he only wound up mired even deeper in his hopelessness.

We all know about how Eridan wouldn't stop killing the angels on his planet, provoking their aggression and turning it into a ball of death. How he was definitely not supposed to be doing this, and how his stubborn insistence on it led to his further ostracization from the rest of the group. The thing is, when we look at his angel-murders from the point of view that Eridan's entire life has been about murdering things or else Something Bad™ happens, it actually starts to become... kind of sad.

KARKAT: BETWEEN A TRIGGERHAPPY PRINCE WITH A GOD WEAPON BLASTING ANYTHING THAT TWITCHED AND A MILLION CRAZED ANGELS HE DELIBERATELY ENRAGED, IT WASN'T WHAT I'D CALL AN IDEAL SOCIAL HUB. KARKAT: IF YOU WERE LONELY WHY DIDN'T YOU VENTURE OUT MORE OFTEN? ERIDAN: wwell i wwoulda but nobody else wwas vvolunteerin to pick up the slack on angel killin duties

Killing the angels is something he feels like his has to do, because his entire life has been about killing things he doesn't want to kill. He's unable to break out of that mindset on his own, and his unpleasant personality has scared off anyone who might want to help. No one on the team tries to understand his thought process on a deeper level, not even Karkat, who just tells him it was an idiotic thing to do without addressing his underlying anxieties at all. Indeed, "nobody understands."

And this is really the root of why I think so many people get the wrong read on Eridan - Eridan is constantly contradicting himself, constantly denying his own feelings, constantly pushing an image that he doesn't actually believe in, and constantly insisting that he's fine with all the horrible shit in his life - that he likes it, even. After all, he can't admit to his guilt for his murders, or how much he doesn't want to watch his friends die, or how scared he is about the future - that'd be weakness!

CC: I can't look after you anymore. CA: I DIDNT EVER NEED ANYONE TO LOOK AFTER ME CA: i was totally fuckin fine my ambitions were noble

You see his contradictory nature with his stated love of history, which he only ever offhandedly mentions - because he's not actually that interested in history, it's just something that's expected of someone of his station. And you see it with his wavy accent, which he himself calls "weird" and drops when he's trying to be emotionally sincere. And you see it with his dumbass outfit, which is very clearly an imitation of Dualscar (with the only exception being the wizard-ass scarf, because wizards are his actual interest. I don't believe he likes fashion. I genuinely believe - and Eridan himself says so - that he basically has no hobbies outside of murder).

Even being proud to be a sea dweller is pretty much an outright lie:

CC: You can't )(ave t)(e sort of affinity for "our kind" t)(at you profess if you've only spent, w)(at... CC: A few days underwater, maybe? IN YOUR W)(OL-E LIF-E!

One that he tells because he's SCARED OF THE OCEAN. Because he knows what lives in the ocean, because he's been feeding it his entire life. I see a lot of people who give Eridan an interest in marine life, and I'm telling you, that's just got no basis in canon. He's fucking TERRIFIED of the sea.

And for that matter, land dweller genocide. Eridan doesn't want to do it. Both Feferi AND his internal narration call him out for not actually wanting to do it. He outright states he wouldn't kill his friends.

CA: wwell CA: im not goin to vvery wwell kill you am i that wwould be fuckin unconscionable CA: wwhat kind of friend wwould i be

But he feels like he HAS to want it, HAS to believe in it, HAS to be talking about it constantly, because that's what's expected from him as a sea dweller, and a sea dweller is ALL that he will get to be. The mutation that puts a violet streak in his hair is damning. It's a fate he feels like he can't escape. Which brings us to:

Eridan is Not Actually Casteist, Well He Is But Not Like That, It's Complicated

Secondary title: Those Are His Emotional Support Slurs, Okay

In the exact same vein (haha) as secretly not wanting all the land dwellers dead, Eridan also genuinely doesn't feel like he's better than lower blood castes. Vriska and Equius obviously put quite a bit of stock into being nobility, and both have acted superior to Karkat for it. Feferi actually revels in her high status, and while she is genuinely well-meaning, she's not as interested in abolishing casteism as she is in changing the meaning of "culling" specifically (the hemocaste, aristocracy, and casteism still very much exist in a Beforus under her rule). Gamzee MIGHT be the only highblood less casteist than Eridan, but then again, as soon as he snaps, he does say a lot of casteist stuff to Equius, although it's unclear how serious he is, and he also proceeds to get really into his weird highblood clown cult.

Meanwhile, Eridan - despite all his slurs and talk of genocide - does not actually try to "pull rank" on a lowblood for being a lower caste than him with a single exception. That exception is Sollux... after he's already shown having entirely caste-neutral opinions on Sollux:

CC: But Sollux finally came t)(roug)(, and now I believe t)(e full c)(ain is complete! CA: man that guy CA: hes a fuckin drama machine it is fuckin pathetic CC: YOUR STUPID FIS)(Y FAC-E IS T)(-E DRAMA MAC)(IN-E T)(AT DO-ES NOT)(ING BUT W)(IN-E AND GLUB. CC: 38P CA: fuck SORRY CC: Anyway you s)(ouldn't say t)(at about )(im, )(e is a )(ero and )(e saved my life. CA: yeah sorry

CA: my feelins seem petty and meaninless noww CA: she had better things to wworry about than my ovverwwrought bullshit CA: like the dead guy wwho savved her CA: so forget it thanks anywway

It's only AFTER he's mad at Sollux for dating Feferi that he starts going in on Sollux with casteist rhetoric... which is treated as unrequited flirting and not serious casteism:

ERIDAN: hey finless this doesnt concern those wwith mustard sludge slippin through their vveins ERIDAN: its a matter for royalty only ERIDAN: so keep your mouth closed or ill slit you open ovver my next meal SOLLUX: w/e bro, not iintere2ted. FEFERI: -Eridan, please! I don't want to see any more dueling. FEFERI: Don't try to provoke )(im. It's not like I don't know w)(at you're doing! You keep trying to spark a rivalry wit)( )(im to get me to auspisticize between you two, and pull us out of our quadrant! FEFERI: It is t)(e oldest and lamest trick in t)(e book. It didn't work t)(en and it won't work now!

THEY don't even think he's being casteist.

In fact, directly contradicting this earlier argument he has with Feferi:

CC: T)(is is t)(e last time I will say t)(is. CC: W-E AR-E NOT B-ETT-ER T)(AN ANYBODY!!!!! CC: GLUB. >38( CA: pshh CA: hemospectrum begs to differ

He OUTRIGHT states his real feelings here:

CA: im the biggest fuckin idiot who ever lived CA: i cant BELIEVE i just opened up to you like a chump when i knew what was comin CA: i am one sad fuckin brinesucker CA: overemotional sappy trash youre right im not better than anybody CA: im worse than anybody CA: EVERYBODY CA: all the bodies

So the question of "is Eridan casteist" has an answer of "kind of, but also no." Eridan DOES espouse the rhetoric; he's constantly saying stuff that a casteist sea dweller "should" be saying. However, if you look at his ACTIONS, and the way he actually treats people, he doesn't actually care about blood color. He'll hit on anybody, and he's rude as fuck to everybody. The real problem with him is that he's terrible to talk to, not that he's discriminatory.

That's the thing about Eridan. Understanding him means looking past the way he presents himself, the lies he tells to himself, and even, at times, the way the narration presents him. His "overblown emotional theatrics" seem a lot less overblown when his problems ARE so real, deep-seated, and constantly causing him an unimaginable amount of anguish.

The problem is, the main people he has to bounce those problems against are Feferi, Vriska, and Kanaya, three of the people most comfortable with their privileged positions, for whom Eridan's genuine emotional distress seems like needless melodrama. Feferi loves being a princess, Vriska enjoys her noble privileges, Kanaya doesn't need to worry about culling. But for Eridan, his noble status, and the duties and expectations placed on him for it, have caused him nothing but pain - of course he would feel like nobody understands. Most of his closest friends genuinely don't, nor do they try to.

Because that's what he is at his core - a traumatized fucking child, who doesn't see any way out. Eridan is not a casteist genocidal sea dweller... he just wishes he was one, and tries to be one, because if he actually was one, he wouldn't feel so awful and scared and sad all the time. He'd be normal, like his friends.

The reason he constantly spouts anti-land dweller rhetoric and uses casteist language is to assuage this cognitive dissonance. That's why he has to come off so strong, present himself in such an aggrandized way, act like such a douchebag. They're his emotional support slurs. He doesn't actually believe what he says, which means he's a Bad Sea Dweller, which means he's Failing, which means Something Bad Will Happen, so he'd better get his ass in line and say something casteist!

And it's all made worse because:

Eridan is Dumb of Ass (and True of Word)

Oh my god you guys he's so stupid that it hurts.

Okay, that's not entirely fair. Eridan is clearly well-educated and book smart; he has some of the most elegant prose out of the trolls, and he's prone to going off on insane rants with it. (Actually, his language gets more flowery and showy when he's trying to impress a stranger, and gets progressively more laid back, chill, and even kind of "bro"-y when he starts talking to people he doesn't feel like he needs to impress.)

CA: at this point i find all her adorable black pixie dabblins to be prime kiddie playtime shit CA: all of her FRAUDULENT MAGICS cannot come close to posin threat to my mastery ovver the TRUEST SCIENCES CA: an wwith my empiricists wwand i servve as the righteous hope that wwill incinerate delusion and the deluded alike CA: my holy fire is the wwhite fury bled from the wwrath-wweary eyes of fifty thousand nonfictional angels CA: and wwhen theyre finished wweepin they wwill boww before their prince GG: wow what are you talking about

What I mean is this: his brain is so full of anxiety and cognitive dissonance and murder and death that he struggles to care about other people, which has devastating effects on his social skills. I go really in-depth on how his though process informs his behavior here. The question may have popped up in your mind already: if his casteism stuff isn't actually real, then what is Eridan actually like? The answer is, overwhelmingly, and discomfortingly, SINCERE.

This boy is gunning at 100% emotional earnestness 100% of the time, and it's deeply uncomfortable for others to deal with. He'll swing wildly from insults and derogatory language, to stating a desire to kill all land dwellers, to awe and amazement at his friends' prowess, to demanding that they do things for him, to traumadumping and venting, without missing a beat. Often in the same conversation.

CA: kan its hard GA: What CA: being a kid and growwing up CA: its hard and nobody understands

He's also specifically terrible at parsing hostility. Functionally, he interprets all hostility aimed AT him as either pitch/ashen flirting or "ironic repartee," and similarly views his own hostile words as verbal jousting, pitch/ashen advances, or even just factual descriptions of the world around him (ie calling Nepeta a "kittycat shipper cavve girl"). Hostility and aggression are just kind of his baseline, default state of being, and he basically has no ability to differentiate between good and bad attention. I talk more in-depth about his emotionally bereft upbringing (and shitty lusus) here, but suffice to say that our boy isn't getting any emotional support at home, and as a result, craves attention, no matter what kind.

This also means he's insanely gullible. For example, Rose calls him an idiot to his face, and then blows up his computer, sarcastically calling it "your first lesson in showmanship." Eridan proceeds to literally considers it that, blowing up Jade's computer after he's done talking to her. Furthermore, Kanaya sees him as a burden, insults him to his face, and pretty much just bullies him along with Rose for fun.

So she trains Eridan to become a powerful white wizard of hope to challenge her, as a joke.

And yet, in spite of all that, Eridan still has nothing but gratitude and praise for Kanaya:

ERIDAN: kan i been meanin to thank you KANAYA: For What ERIDAN: for all that trainin you did ERIDAN: i wwouldnt be the incredible holy wwizard i am noww wwithout your help KANAYA: But I Didnt Even Really Train You I Just Made You A Wand ERIDAN: yeah wwell thats all i needed i guess ERIDAN: i just needed for someone to showw a little faith in me so im sayin thanks i owwe ya KANAYA: Okay Then Youre Welcome KANAYA: I Hope You Use Your Magnificent Powers Of Light And Hope For Goodness And Purity And Lets Not Forget Science ERIDAN: dont wworry im all ovver that shit you dont evven knoww KANAYA: Uh Oh I Hope That Didnt Come Off As Too Sarcastic ERIDAN: wwhat KANAYA: The Thing I Just Said KANAYA: I Didnt Even Realize How Sarcastic I Was Being Its Starting To Become A Problem I Think KANAYA: Please Dont Take Too Much Offense ERIDAN: haha damn kan if thats your idea of offense bein made then i honestly gotta fuckin wworry for you ERIDAN: tell you wwhat ill givve you some lessons in dealin out the dark umbrage to repay you for your tutelage in the wwhite science

Like, he's in the middle of genuinely thanking her for believing in him, she makes fun of him to his face, and his response is to laugh it off and offer to teach her how to properly insult someone. It's honestly... kind of sad. Not that he doesn't deserve the ridicule, but what we're seeing here is a traumatized, emotionally neglected boy trying to communicate the best that he can that he loves and appreciates his friends, and receiving nothing but mockery in return.

It's really not a surprise, then, that he goes off the deep end. His entire life prior to the game has been shit; he got broken up with as soon as he entered the game (by someone who didn't even care enough not to use fish puns while doing it); he's ostracized and avoided for the game's duration; and then he spends the rest of his time on the meteor being bullied. He feels deeply hopeless and anxious about their situation because he literally doesn't know how else to exist, and his concerns are dismissed and mocked at every turn. When Feferi turns on him with intent to kill, that's his breaking point.

I see a lot of people say he goes grimdark, or succumbs to external influence somehow, but I don't think that needs to be true (nor is it) - he's just a deeply traumatized kid with almost no support network who's finally been pushed to the edge, despite displaying every possible warning sign and making multiple cries for help. Yes, ultimately, he's guilty for his own actions, but his killing spree - alongside Gamzee's and Vriska's - represents a cohesive failure as a team to address very clear problems in their midst.

So Feferi and Kanaya are sick of his ass. Sollux hates him platonically, Equius doesn't like him, and Nepeta thinks of him as a creep. Vriska is his awkward ex, and Terezi agrees with him when he calls himself pathetic. He never interacts with Tavros, Aradia, or sober!Gamzee. Is there anyone that treats him nicely?

Uh, okay, so I swear this isn't shipping goggles -

Pale EriKar Is Canon And I Can Prove It

So, I'm going to start this with a disclaimer: you can ship what you want to ship. I don't mind. I don't care. Headcanons are valid, death of the author, etc. What you do in your free time is up to you.

What I am attempting to argue in this section is that an Eridan/Karkat moirallegiance was heavily foreshadowed, one of the most heavily foreshadowed things in the entire comic, and - assuming that the original ending of Homestuck included all the dead trolls being brought back and redeemed - was going to be endgame. There's a torrential amount of evidence pointing to this, and very little of it is acknowledged even by the EriKar shippers, which is a shame.

At the very least, I'll be happy if I can convince some Karkat RPers to be extra nice to Eridans, because they are actually just friends who care deeply about each other. Canonically.

The first thing to note is that Eridan and Karkat, at least prior to SGRUB, talk all the time, to the point where Feferi feels the need to comment on it:

CC: You know, I'm not sure w)(y we never talk about our romantic aspirations. CC: We s)(ould more often. It is kind of -EXCITING! CA: shrug CC: Probably because you fill your gossip quota wit)( your nubby )(orned bro. CC: You leave not)(ing left to talk about wit)( your dear sweet moirail! CC: We are supposed to )(elp eac)( ot)(er wit)( t)(at stuff too, remember. CA: maybe CA: seems kinda CA: odd though

("Can you please stop having an emotional affair with Karkat" "Eh, I'll think about it")

The second thing to note is what the contents of those conversations entail. Sure, they "gossip," but it goes deeper than that, because they gossip about things that Karkat would NEVER gossip about with anybody else, because Karkat usually respects his "VERY GOOD FRIEND"s. For example, here Eridan mentions that Karkat has speculated on Kanaya's love life with him:

CA: you dont wwant to be our auspistice cause you dont wwant to get locked into that sort of relation wwith her i can respect that GA: No Thats Not It CA: yeah it is your real feelins run pretty awwful RUDDY methinks evverybody knowws it CA: especially that assblood karkat he and me havve you so pegged about that its upright silly

And it's not even a one-off thing, because here Karkat is again, mentioning Nepeta's crush on him:

KARKAT: OK, BUT TO BE FAIR, I'M PRETTY SURE SHE'S STILL OBSESSED WITH ME. KARKAT: IT'S A VERY UNFORTUNATE, VERY RED AND VERY UNREQUITED SITUATION I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TIPTOE AROUND FOR A LONG TIME, OK? KARKAT: HER DISINTEREST IN YOUR ADVANCE WASN'T A REFLECTION ON YOU AT ALL. KARKAT: COME ON, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS.

It's a situation he's been trying to "tiptoe around for a long time," and he tells ERIDAN, of all people? MULTIPLE TIMES? (AND HE ALSO TELLS ERIDAN THAT THE REJECTION WASN'T HIS FAULT???? WHAT??????)

So we've established that they talk frequently and about some pretty seriously sensitive topics. But did you know that they also talk about... their feelings?

See, the thing is, Karkat has always been weirdly nice to Eridan. Here he is in a memo near the very beginning of their game, when Karkat is at his most "rah rah, I'm the big bad leader":

FCA: i got a problem FCA: wwith feferi FCA: and im really kinda sittin here in bad shape about it emotionally speakin CCG: OK, WELL CCG: I GET THAT, I HEAR YOU BRO CCG: BUT THIS IS STILL NOT THE RIGHT PLACE FOR THIS SO I'VE GOT TO BAN YOU. CCG banned FCA from responding to memo. CCG: BUT SERIOUSLY JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME IN PRIVATE ABOUT IT, OK MAN? CCG: WE'LL GET YOUR SHIT STRAIGHTENED OUT.

Compare that to Tavros asking for advice later down in the same memo:

PAT: sINCE i DON'T KNOW WHERE YOU ARE NOW, bUT MAYBE HELP ME, PAT: aBOUT A THING THAT HAS TO DO WITH A GIRL, PAT: lIKE, PAT: a ROMANCE THING, yOU MIGHT KNOW ABOUT, CCG: YOU PEOPLE ARE IMBECILES. CCG: ALL OF YOU. CCG: I AM NOT POSTING THESE MEMOS TO COUNSEL YOU ON YOUR PAST AND FUTURE DATING PROBLEMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CCG: WHY ARE YOU ALL SUCH BASKET CASES. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAY ANYMORE. PAT: sORRY, CCG: SHOULD I BAN YOU? WHAT'S EVEN THE POINT ANYMORE! ONE OF YOU STOOGES WILL BE RIGHT ON THE LAST ONES HEELS WITH ANOTHER SOB STORY. CCG: JUST CCG: HURRY UP AND TELL ME WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS BRO.

He then proceeds to dispense no actual love advice; he just points out that Vriska can totally read this memo too, and then mocks them both when she shows up - thus making it clear that he is giving Eridan special treatment.

You see it again in his discussion with Eridan in [S] Kanaya: Return to the Core, where Eridan invokes a "pact" between them, and Karkat immediately plays nice with him, despite himself being extremely high-strung and stressed out:

KARKAT: RIGHT, IT'S POWERED BY SCIENCE, I FORGOT. KARKAT: OR HOPE. WHATEVER THE FUCK THAT MEANS. ERIDAN: i dont fuckin need this from you i take enough shit as it is from the rest a you dirtscrapers i thought you and me had a kinda pact or wwhatevver KARKAT: OK FINE, SHUT UP, I APOLOGIZE. I KNOW IT'S TOUGH BEING YOU.

That's definitely pity, which Karkat states to be the basis of all relationships besides pitch. But, sure, okay, Karkat is sometimes nice to his friends. He is, after all, the Friendship Troll, so that's not necessarily out of the ordinary. But how about the fact that it goes both ways?

That's right, Eridan "100% aggro 100% of the time" Ampora is actually really considerate toward Karkat's feelings, and basically nobody else's. Upon hearing that Karkat is distressed that Sollux has died, Eridan actively puts his own meltdown about his breakup with Feferi on pause:

TC: BeCaUsE OuR GoOd bRo sOlLuX JuSt kIcKeD ThE WiCkEd mOtHeRfUcKiN ShIt CA: wwhat the fuck do you mean by that CA: are you sayin hes dead TC: YeAh :o( CA: oh fuck CA: oh god fuck noww i feel like an asshole

He then goes on to chastise Gamzee for his shitty advice, demanding to be given the chance to comfort Karkat himself instead:

TC: BuT I ToLd hIm tO Be cHiLl TC: BeCaUsE ThErE Is a mIrAcLe cOmInG, i cAn fEeL It CA: that is the wworst fuckin advvice CA: wwhat an awwful thing a you to say CA: MAGIC ISNT REAL STUPID STOP BELIEVVIN IN IT TC: i'Ve gOt tO BeLiEvE At wHaT My hEaRt tElLs iN Me, EvEn iF It's a fAkE ThInG TC: HoNk CA: this is a lot a pointless fuckin rubbish and isnt no emotional help to him or me either for that matter CA: put kar on

Before finally giving up when Gamzee insists he's "too scared of Jack" to help, drinking some Faygo, and trying to ask past Karkat for help, because past Karkat isn't sad yet about Sollux dying. So, to recap,

Eridan's first instinct when in emotional duress is to go to Karkat.

Eridan feels like he knows Karkat well enough to know that Gamzee's advice would be useless (and is proven right by the fact that Gamzee and Karkat's moirallegiance fails for similar reasons).

Eridan is willing to shelve his own emotional meltdown for Karkat's sake.

Eridan demands to be the one to provide Karkat with emotional support.

And this is, again, not a one-off thing. In the memo Karkat opens right after Eridan and Gamzee have both turned murderous, after he's spent several minutes making death threats toward Eridan and insulting him directly, he goes:

CCG: I'M SO UPSET, I'M JUST COMPLETELY FREAKING OUT IN EVERY WAY POSSIBLE. PCA: yeah i knoww wwhat its like you wwanna talk about it

Eridan spends this entire memo under the belief that it's a completely run-of-the-mill conversation they're having:

PCA: i mean yeah obvviously i kneww you wwerent serious PCA: i guess i appreciate the effort youre puttin into cheerin me up PCA: i can alwways count on you for some good ironic repartee kar nobody else really gets our sense a humor CCG: UGH, NO PCA: are you busy PCA: you said youd try to make it to lowwaa soon wwell howw about it

Which implies that offering to listen to Karkat's feelings is also a completely regular thing for them.

But something magical is ALSO happening within this last memo, and to really explain it, I'll first have to be a little mean to the GamKar shippers (sorry).

So, canonically, GamKar doesn't work out for them, despite also being somewhat foreshadowed. In fact, they feature on Nepeta's shipping wall, which is actually, in my opinion, foreshadowing that it WOULDN'T work out. (Nepeta's ships being wrong, and shipping being something she needs to learn to outgrow, is a whole essay on its own, that I'm not getting into here.)

But the thing is, the seeds for them not working out were also planted in the first - and only - real post-moirallegiance interaction that they have with each other, where Gamzee tries to calm Karkat down... and FAILS:

GAMZEE: naw brother, i was just about to all say for you to try and get your settle down on, maybe. GAMZEE: :o( ... KARKAT: OK KARKAT: OK YEAH KARKAT: I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT. KARKAT: NO, YOU'RE RIGHT, I SHOULD RELAX. KARKAT: AND BREATHE. KARKAT: I MEAN, WHAT ARE MOIRAILS FOR, RIGHT? KARKAT: THIS IS HOW IT WORKS, I STOP YOU FROM KILLING EVERYBODY, THEN YOU RETURN THE FAVOR AND CALM ME DOWN AND I JUST KARKAT: BREATHE KARKAT: LIKE KARKAT: THIS... KARKAT: SNIIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFFFFFFFUCK, THAT SUN IS BRIGHT. KARKAT: CALL ME CRAZY, BUT IT'S KIND OF HARD TO RELAX WITHIN A STONE'S THROW FROM, OH, I GUESS ONLY THE BIGGEST FUCKING STAR ANY MORTAL HAS EVER LAID EYES ON. ... KARKAT: BUT I MEAN, CAN THIS BE HEALTHY? KARKAT: AREN'T WE GOING TO GET BURNED OR HAVE OUR RETINAS SCORCHED BY LOOKING AT IT? KARKAT: OH GOD I THINK I'M HAVING A PANIC ATTACK.

But let's go back to that memo where Karkat is freaking out in every way possible. This is how he starts that memo - so upset about the deaths of his friends and terrified by Gamzee that he can barely string together a coherent thought:

CCG: WE ARE SO SCREWED. CCG: OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK. CCG: GUYS, I AM TERRIFIED, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. CCG: I'M IN A ROOM FULL OF BODIES, AND I THINK I'M NOT SUPPOSED TO TURN MY BACK ON THEM? CCG: OH MY GOD, I JUST HEARD A HONK. ... CCG: FEFERI, I'M SORRY. CCG: IT WAS MY FAULT, I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. PCC: Sorry for w)(at?? CCG: FOR CCG: I CCG: I CAN'T DO THIS CCG: IT'S TOO MUCH FOR ME, I'M SORRY.

In fact, he's so distressed that he bans Past!Feferi and Past!Gamzee almost immediately after they come in. But then Eridan comes in, and... I mean, first of all, just compare how long it takes for him to ban Eridan:

But more interesting are the contents of their conversation. Over the course of talking to Eridan... Karkat completely calms the fuck down. Like he's entirely forgotten that he's shitting his pants with fear. In fact, he even starts critiquing Eridan for his dumbassery:

PCA: evven if i wwasnt compelled to think you wwere still bein flippant and ironic wwith me you cant exactly outright reject me can you CCG: WHY NOT PCA: cause youre future you PCA: doesnt count unless its present you til then its all fair game CCG: IS THIS REAL, ARE YOU BEING IRONIC OR SOMETHING, I CAN'T EVEN TELL ANYMORE CCG: THE PROBLEM IS, I CAN'T PUT THIS SORT OF BEHAVIOR PAST YOU AT ALL, SO I DON'T KNOW. ... CCG: YOU'RE KILLING ANGELS NOW, AREN'T YOU PCA: no CCG: YOU ARE KILLING FUCKING ANGELS, RIGHT NOW, IN THE PAST, WITH YOUR SHITTY GUN. I JUST KNOW IT. PCA: wwell uh PCA: therere just so damn many kar and theyre not gettin any less bloody pissed is the thing CCG: THIS IS WHY IT WOULD NEVER WORK BETWEEN US, MAN.

It's extremely funny. Over the course of talking to Eridan, he goes from:

CCG: OH GOD OH GOD OH MAN OH GOD CCG: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

To:

CCG banned PCA from responding to memo. CCG: ANYWAY CCG: THAT'S IT I GUESS.

Eridan isn't even trying to calm Karkat down. He still succeeds in doing so. This is because they are soul mates. And I mean that in the sense that the comic literally calls being moirails soul mates, which it doesn't do for the other quadrants:

A reasonable human translation would be the concept of a soul mate, but in a more platonic sense, and with a more specific social purpose.

That "social purpose" being that an even-tempered troll calms down a more hot-tempered one, and vice versa.

It also goes on to note:

But some pale pairings, as the one above [referring to a picture of Nepeta and Equius], will be strikingly obvious to all who know them.

But what's really interesting is the next page.

And yet others will seem to have been hatched for each other.

Did you catch that? Let me zoom in.

(Also, the blue and red cuttlefish to represent Sollux - Feferi and Sollux spend the whole game together, and even wind up talking about their feelings constantly in a pile - more on piles in a sec.)

In fact... in Eridan's first visual appearance...

The crab has always been there for him.

It's also important to talk about the bottle of Faygo that's been photoshopped to be candy red, Karkat's blood color. The path that it takes actually directly mirrors Karkat's relationships with Gamzee and Eridan - it's initially something that Gamzee has, but winds up being ejected out of his life, and washes up on Eridan's shore. In fact:

TC: SnAtCh aN IcEcOlD, dOg TC: MoThErFuCkIn cHuG ThAt sHiT LiKe yOu aNd tHe bOtTlE WaS ReUnItEd lOvErS CA: are you recommendin a bevverage to me or somethin CA: is that wwhat this is TC: YeAh mAn SlAm A FaYgO CA: i dont havve a fuckin faygo you stupid fuck wwhy wwould i keep that disgusting shit on hand TC: ArE YoU MoThErFuCkIn sUrE AbOuT ThAt? CA: oh CA: oh god youre right i do CA: i totally forgot about it TC: YoU SeE MaN TC: MoThEr TC: FuCkIn TC: MiRaClEs TC: :o)

When Gamzee and Eridan discuss this exact bottle, Gamzee even likens it to "reunited lovers"; it's something that Eridan has had this whole time (after all, he was cheating on Feferi with the guy), but never realized.

There are a few miscellaneous things that don't really mean anything on their own, but put next to all this other stuff, is worth considering, so I'll list those now.

First, they both do the bonk:

Second:

CG: ARE WE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE BECAUSE OF STUFF I SAID. TA: eheheheh you LIITERALLY a2k me that every tiime are you jokiing. TA: ii cant even tell anymore. CG: IT'S A JOKE MORON. CG: HONESTLY I'M JUST GLAD NOBODY ELSE IS PRIVVY TO OUR CONVERSATIONS.

Third, Karkat muses to his future self about how he misses his friends, especially the assholes, two pages before staring at a dead Eridan's ass (joking, he's definitely looking at WV, but it's still significant that this thought is being associated with Eridan):

CCG: I MEAN, DON'T GET ME WRONG. CCG: I MISS ALL OF MY DEAD FRIENDS A LOT. CCG: EVEN THE ASSHOLES! I MISS THEM TOO. MAYBE EVEN ESPECIALLY THEM, IN SOME PERVERSE WAY. CCG: AND I SHOULD BE RELIEVED THAT THEY ALL SEEM TO BE HAPPY IN SOME WAY, EVEN IF IT'S BY FLOATING NEBULOUSLY THROUGH DREAM PROJECTIONS WITH THEIR FREAKY BLANK EYES. CCG: AND I GUESS I AM RELIEVED ABOUT THAT. CCG: BUT AT THE SAME TIME IT'S LEFT ME UNSETTLED.

Fourth, in the same conversation, he bemoans his failed relationship with Terezi, before Future!Karkat chastises Past!Karkat for his instability and mixed signals. Going back to the page on moirallegiances, an explicit function of a proper pale relationship is stabilizing a troll's other relationships:

The two partners in a strong pale relationship will serve to balance and complement each other's emotional profiles, and thus allow their other relationships to be more successful.

Of course, I don't need to tell you how messy and unstable Eridan's relationships have been.

And finally, Piles of Stuff™ are associated with moirails, and directly stated in-comic to cause an outpouring of emotion:

Standing near this pile stirs powerful emotions. The closer you stand to piles of stuff, the more freely the feelings flow. It is a law of reality.

So here's a seven-word tragedy for you: For Sale, Shitty Wand Pile, Never Used:

ERIDAN: at least i got the upright basic decency to hide my shitty wand pile somewwhere in the lab you wwont find it dont evven bother lookin KARKAT: WHY DO YOU ASSHOLES HAVE PILES OF THINGS, JUST STOP.

(Which he specifically tells Karkat about.)

So, yeah, what I'm saying is, there's just, like, a weirdly large amount to read into here. That Karkat and Eridan are probably soulmates or whatever. And that this is important because...

Eridan Is Plot Relevant (Well All The Dead Trolls Are But This Is An Essay About Eridan)

So. Now we are going to talk about themes. Yes, like we are in schoolfeeding again. I'm going to keep it simple, because "The Themes of Homestuck" is a whole essay on its own, and this one about just the shitty fish boy is already way too long.

I think it's fairly non-controversial to posit that the main theme of Homestuck is, "children should mature, care about each other, and throw off the shackles of their old society, because they will be responsible for a new world one day."

Up until Game Over/the Retcon, this is so prevalent and well-established that SBURB/SGRUB's coming-of-age themes will outright be commented upon by the characters, and the main villain is a child who deliberately stunted his own growth so he could go around kicking over other peoples' toys forevermore.

So, the thing is, with that being the theme of Homestuck, if ALL of the Alternian trolls don't survive to the end, the ending is thematically unsatisfying, because the message suddenly gains an addendum of "well, some kids just need to die," which totally sucks. Like, sure, Eridan was a violent, crazed murderer even at the best of times, but his permanent death within the canon ending kind of means that the comic is saying that people in his position don't deserve kindness or second chances. That position being a traumatized, emotionally neglected child, who was being bullied by people he considered his friends. It's a pretty terrible message.

It's even worse when you consider what other trolls don't make it to the end - Nepeta, the most outspoken troll against the hemospectrum (and Davepeta does NOT count, don't try to tell me the final culmination of Nepeta's character arc is being combined with some guy she barely knows and a bird). Feferi, who genuinely wanted the best for others, even if she was kind of a privileged princess. Aradia and Sollux also stay behind in the bubbles, even though their lives have pretty much been endless parades of suffering and being used by other people. Even Equius doesn't deserve it - he was kind of a casteist freak, but not irredeemably so, and the fact that he became kinder to Karkat over the course of SGRUB proved that he had the capacity to change. And Tavros, allergic to himself and being insulted by Vriska, is a terrible way to end his arc.

It's also really clear that, since half his friends are dead, Karkat just doesn't really have anything to do. His title is the Knight of Blood, and Blood is about bonds - romance, friendship. And yet, he ends the comic having never figured out what Blood was about, with no confirmed filled quadrants (sorry DaveKat likers, but within the comic itself, DaveKat is never confirmed), and most of his bonds nothing more than ghosts in the bubbles. It's a terribly unsatisfying ending for the most narratively important troll.

I think, then, that even if you don't agree that Homestuck should have ended with full revivals and redemption arcs for all the trolls, the essay is going to proceed on like you do, so, sorry, I guess.

The thing with Eridan, specifically, is that he's actually tied deeply into the plot and themes, and his return means more than just Karkat finally getting a date (although that's important, too). Eridan is directly intertwined with a prophecy to kill Lord English; he's set up to mirror Caliborn and Calliope; and thematically, his redemption would be the most clear instance of the "interrogating society" part of the theme of Homestuck, because Eridan is kind of the Society Troll. And also, he was definitely supposed to be Roxy's wizard boyfriend.

Just gonna get that last one out of the way real quick because it's a fast one, Roxy fucking loves wizards and is a hipster. Eridan is a wizard and is also a hipster. Roxy has a crush on a prince. Eridan is also a prince. Roxy wears a purple striped scarf. Eridan wears a blue striped scarf. Roxy uses rifles. Eridan uses rifles. Momlonde's introduction includes a passive-aggressive fridge battle that features a cameo of Eridan's quirk.

Using the colorful MAGNET LETTERS, you recently left a succinct message, which may or may not have been directed toward anyone in particular. But you couldn't find the letter W, so you just stuck two V's together. Your mother then purchased a fresh pack of W's and left them there for your convenience.

Yeah. So. Uh. Not only did Eridan need to be brought back to date Karkat pale, but he also needed to be brought back to date Roxy flushed. Can you imagine how funny it would be. They'd get together within 5 minutes of meeting for the first time and Rose would lose her shit. Anyway.

Him being a parallel to Calliope and Caliborn is also a quick one - Caliborn uses Riflekind/Sceptrekind, and Calliope uses Pistolkind/Wandkind. Eridan's two weapons are rifles and wands. Lord English is described as an evil wizard and at one point is shown using Calliope's wand. Eridan is also an evil wizard who uses a wand.

Look, I'm not saying that Eridan is necessarily directly related to these two, nor am I even necessarily saying that he and Roxy HAVE to date, but I am saying that he's got Weird Plot Connections that make him bizarrely relevant to characters that only come into play well after his death - almost like the comic was setting up that he would be coming back. His reaction to Cronus supports this, which I go into detail about here.

There's other strange "Eridan's plot important" things, too - like the fact that he's completely unimpressed by Faygo, considering it to be "just soda," and seems to be the only non-cultist who's okay with it. Or the fact that he's actually been awake on Derse since before the game (but unable to hear the horrorterrors, maybe foreshadowing some psychic resistance?) which he casually reveals to Kanaya and which Terezi is aware of, hence he's included in the people she names are "in" on the existence of the game. Or the fact that the genetic code for Alternia's first guardian was written within the pages of four FLARP books, with the addition of a fifth code Gamzee wrote in Karkat's ~ATH book... but Eridan was the fifth FLARP player in the team, implying that Doc Scratch/LE influencing Gamzee caused him to usurp Eridan's part of the first guardian code, giving LE his way into the trolls' universe.

Individually, it's all kind of nothing, but it just paints a bigger picture of Eridan being weirdly relevant, especially when we get to the juicy stuff:

The Prophecy

ARANEA: The 8ard of Hope may seem a little jaded these days, 8ut he once had a deeply a8iding faith in magic, and dedicated himself to 8ecoming a great wizard. He 8ecame convinced he was hatched to defeat an extraordinarily evil magician, one he swore the angels foretold of. ... [T]his magician once somehow from afar tried to strike him down at a young age, so he would never have to face him. 8ut the evil spell was deflected, sealing the magician's spirit away in a series of unassuming vessels until he could find some other cunning way to enter our universe. ... ARANEA: 8ut at some point he 8ecame disillusioned with magic. If there ever was any truth to his far fetched vision, the legacy of defeating the evil magician would have to 8e passed on to his descendant, or if his descendant proved to 8e as much of a failure as he did, then perhaps on to some other Hero of Hope.

ERIDAN: i slaughtered enough angels to knoww my limits and wwhere i stand against the lord of all angels they prophecized

GG: im pretty sure hes from the future! CA: wwhy GG: because he said hes my grandson CA: wwhat the fuck is a grandson CA: is that some kind of pervverse human familial thing GG: umm yes ... CA: that gun i just gavve you is somethin of a hatchright to the kid CA: happy i could play a role in your dirty stinkin lineage GG: like an heirloom? i guess it could be ... CA: i kinda think thats wwhy i found the gun in the first place CA: but noww im forsakin it because fuck i just found a better destiny than my old crappy one wwhich i nevver got any appreciation for anywway

Jake is supposed to have been the one to defeat Lord English. (No, Jake defeating pre-LE Caliborn right before he gets sealed into Cal doesn't count! He doesn't even get the final blow in that fight, DIRK does.)

But Eridan at one point had that destiny on his shoulders. Aranea turbohealing Jake, and the resultant hope field, summons a bunch of angels, which are heavily associated with Eridan - yet another random connection that Eridan has with future plot events.

Jake was another character, alongside Karkat, who was kind of reduced to a joke by the end, despite the fact that he had literally, directly, been passed the destiny of defeating Lord English. It's hard not to see this as a consequence, at least in part, of removing Eridan from the story. By cutting him out of the fabric of the ending, several plot threads - including this prophecy - are left dangling in irrelevance. And so Jake, like Karkat, now has nothing to do.

Homestuck is generally a series where every prophecy does come true, which makes it kind of startling when several prophecies fail to - Feferi's to "unite the two races," Jake's to defeat Lord English, and Karkat's to bring "compassion, forgiveness, and equality among all bloodlines" in the Signless's place.

That last one is actually relevant to:

The Thematic Importance of EriKar As Soul Mates

Eridan represents the worst aspects of Alternian society. He's a sea dweller at the top of the caste structure, with free reign to murder whoever he wants, soaked in the blood of thousands of innocent trolls. He espouses the casteist rhetoric that their society is built on, calling for the deaths of all land dwellers and the oppression of the lower castes. And while he should be benefitting from his position of privilege, it has also done nothing but hurt him.

Karkat, meanwhile, is a pariah. A mutant who would've been culled on sight, who spent his entire life living in hiding, and most of the game in fear that he would be ostracized or worse by the rest of his friends if they found out about his blood color. He's also the second coming of Troll Jesus, and thus, more despised by the Alternian ruling class than a mutant normally would be. For most of his life, he dreamed of nothing more than finding belonging within the society that had deemed him unfit.

Their friendship is something that "should not be." The highblood and the mutant. The royal-v and the off-spectrum. The empress's sea dweller and the second coming of the signless. Eridan "should" see Karkat as a miscreant to cull on sight. Karkat "should" be terrified of Eridan's very existence.

But in reality, Eridan doesn't give a shit about blood color, and Karkat just wants to be accepted. Eridan just wants someone to care about him, and Karkat loves his friends. Aside from Feferi, Eridan is the only highblood who never comments about Karkat's mutant blood, and they were best buddies even before Eridan knew.

Eridan and Karkat getting together isn't JUST the two most undateable trolls on the team finally landing a stable quadrant. These two, moreso than any other pairing, represent the themes of Homestuck. Children growing up, caring about each other, and throwing off the shackles of their old society.

In the pre-retcon timeline, their team failed to do so. This led to Gamzee falling into his highblood clown cult, Equius letting himself and Nepeta die by submitting to his place in the hemospectrum, Vriska killing Tavros because she couldn't allow herself to show weakness, and Eridan completing his caste's dream of genocide. Karkat spent the entire meteor trip and beyond beating himself up about it, since he considered it all to be his fault.

But with the introduction of John's retcon powers, they have the chance to, one by one, redeem themselves. I believe that's how the original ending would have gone: Terezi would ask John to bring Vriska back, because she only feels comfortable fixing her own mistakes. Vriska would then have asked John to bring back Tavros, whom she regretted killing. Tavros would be there for Gamzee, rendering him an ally. Gamzee would ask John to bring back Equius and Nepeta. Equius would ask John to help him not make the same mistakes with Aradia, and Aradiabot would catch John by the wrist and demand he bring her back in time to before she died, allowing her to circumvent her own death and Sollux's guilt. Sollux would ask John to keep him from provoking Eridan, saving Feferi. And Feferi would be pretty ok with the way things were... but KARKAT would then pull John aside, and drop an entire book of mistakes he made on John's lap, and this would result in a finalized timeline where all his friends are alive and god-tiered.

Because all the trolls SHOULD have survived.

Vriska should've survived because people should be allowed to have second chances.

Tavros should've survived because caring about each other, and being willing to show kindness and mercy, are good things.

Gamzee should have survived because people mired in religious fundamentalism and cults deserve to be offered a helping hand.

Equius should've survived because people should be allowed to grow and change their beliefs.

Nepeta should've survived because she was the anti-casteism troll. Casteism is bad, folks! Not only that, but I'm convinced that she was originally going to give the Ultimate Self exposition, and Davepetasprite^2 had to be contrived in the canon ending in order to shortcut Nepeta's character development, ruining it in the process.

Aradia should've been allowed to stay with the rest of the team and live a life free of the control of evil uncles and shitty ancestors.

Sollux should've been allowed to stay with the rest of the team because we all deserve to heal and be happy.

Feferi should've survived so she could be in a kismesistude with Nepeta, and realize that casteism itself is bad, not just the definition of culling, and then used her Witch of Life powers to even out the lifespans between the next generation of trolls, which needs to happen or else casteism will just happen again as long-lived highbloods inevitably amass power. And, also, it would complete the prophecy Gl'bgolyb gave her that she was intended to unite the two races (dream bubbles don't count, because by that metric, Sollux did more than she did by establishing a connection between the trolls and humans).

And Eridan should've survived, because the harm society has done to us can be undone. We don't have to submit to the roles it imposes, to the laws it wrote, to the abuse it inflicted. We can be free.

I've seen a lot of people who believe that such-and-such character did SUCH awful things that they don't deserve a happy ending. Oftentimes, it's Eridan, but nearly all of the dead trolls have gotten this treatment. So, let me just ask all of you who have gotten this far and still hold that opinion one thing. Do you think that's what Troll Jesus would have wanted?

This is why pale EriKar is so important: for it to happen, Eridan has to make a choice between upholding the beliefs of his shitty society, or pursuing a happier, kinder future, one where he outright rejects the caste system. For it to happen, Karkat has to shake all his insecurities about not being good enough by Alternian standards, and take on the duty of creating something better than what he came from. If pale EriKar happens, it means Eridan and Karkat choose love, not fear. Compassion, forgiveness, and equality.

This choice - this pairing - is the ultimate representation of giving Alternian society one big middle finger. Saying, we don't need you anymore, fuck off! Saying, we reject you at your core; we will choose something better! Saying, we will create a new world, and it will be kinder than the one we came from!

Pale EriKar means LOVE WINS.

Thank you for reading.

#homestuck #eridan ampora #karkat vantas #erikar #im also going to tag all the other trolls that feature because yeah.#vriska serket #feferi peixes #nepeta leijon #equius zahhak #gamzee makara #kanaya maryam

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sun4ki · 6 months ago

Text

“So young and pretty, it’s too bad they passed”

- In my room _ By insane clown posse

Aeon of light!Gn Reader X various Hsr women hcs

Characters (Ruan Mei, Kafka, Robin, Himeko, Black Swan, Natasha)

Gn Reader being forgotten Aeon of Light, keeping their distance around any human life as they wandering peacefully around the universe. Having great and powerful strength, only to be degraded by other, stronger Aeons. They hid their identity but that would soon change as these women found Gn reader and took them in...

Warnings: slight ooc? MEN OR HOMOPHOBIC DNI

Author's note: first fic post like actually :p hope you like this! I'm open to criticism and improvement! Sorry for bad English, its not my first language and im dyslexic :(

Ruan mei

The scientist who found you wandering all alone in the secluded zone, the poor Aeon got lost and ended up in the Herta space Station..

Lucky for you, That was the day Ruan Mei visited. You explored the Secluded area, seeing a lot of these critters around.

feeling curious you picked up one of them, only to hear mechanical noises of a door being opened behind you. You turned around seeing the Scientist who created these critters herself. . .

“How interesting . . “ the scientist spoke to herself in a monotone manner

Eventually Ruan Mei soon took you in, doing some simple experiments for her study.

“Hold still , this would be less painful if you stop with the unnecessary movement .”

You could only sit and watch idly as the scientist takes some blood sample from you for her research on an extraordinary being like you

Kafka

Kafka found you during one of her missions, She took you in, saying how it was “destiny’s plan”, how both of you were destined to meet eventually. . .

Elio had already told her it was part of her “script” meeting with you and bringing you with. . .

The stellaron hunter knew you could be a great addition to their team— I mean just imagine a powerful yet forgotten Aeon of Light in the stellaron hunters team ?! Not to mention you would also be a great sparring partner

“You’re pretty strong Y’know ?

Great for me to test my skills on without you dying ~ “

Jokes aside Kafka is actually very gentle and caring about you, aware of the fact you don’t know a lot about how humanity lived (considering you kept your distance around them), she would teach you how to blend in and live a life like the rest . . .

Robin

By the time you got to Penacony, you were immediately drawn to this ethereal singing . . .

When you saw Robin for the first time, you were mesmerized by her beauty as she sang. . . Her looks reminded you one of an Angel, a beautiful one, you couldn’t take your eyes off her

The two of you became fast friends, Robin would guide you around Penacony, she was like your tour guide, showing you around the dreamscape.

Robin was actually very supportive about your whole Aeon of Light thing, and just like Kafka, she would often accompany you and teach the ways to live like the rest

her brother Sunday doesn’t actually approve of you though , he’s suspicious of you and Robin’s relationship but ether way Robin would ensure you he means good

“Don’t mind my brother . .

He’s just concerned about me . .”

Himeko

Himeko found you in one of express’s trailblazer missions right after they left penacony, Himeko took it upon herself to take care of you, aware of the fact you still felt unsure about the rest of the members

The navigator would often let you sleep in her cabin, accompanying you as you would always feel comfortable in her embrace . .

It’s not a surprise you would avoid any contact with the other members of the train. . Either way, when the others set out for another expedition, you would stay behind with Himeko, making sure Himeko is protected and safe at all costs . . .

Maybe because you’re close or maybe because she reminds you of a certain someone in The past you can’t quite identify. . (Doing this cuz i miss murata himeko)

“You’re clingy sometimes you know..?

Who knew the Aeon of Light could act like a clingy love sick puppy at times ?”

Black swan

When you enter penacony, you haven’t seen black swan just yet. . She would be keeping an eye on you from a distance before actually revealing who she is . . (She gives me stalker vibes idk)

She finds you intriguing . . She would observe how you behave for a few days or so and by the looks at it- you clearly don’t know how to act properly around others let alone socialize . .

That’s when the Memokeeper decided to step out of her “bird hide” enough with watching you like a delicate bird unaware of her keen eyes

“What’s an interesting being like you wandering all alone in this dreamscape ?”

Black swan would look into your memories aswell . . Witnessing your past . . Aswell as the memories of being degraded by other Aeons and being forced to live in the shadows of the universe to be left and forgotten. .

“What a poor birdie you are . .” The woman would whisper

“Don’t worry dear ~ I’ll make sure to take care of you ”

Natasha

As soon as you got to Belobog, you were immediately sent to the underground. . .

Let’s just say the guards gave you a not so “friendly” Welcome, which lead to fighting- a lot of fighting-

The fight eventually forced you to be sent to the underground

Natasha was the first to find you, you met her while she was doing some errands . . . Seeing that Natasha was actually kind and gentle with you, you stayed by her side, helping her in the clinic and with the kids

Eventually, Natasha introduced you to the other wildfire members, you started helping in the underground, being a big help in taking care of the people there, like the underground’s guardian.

you would help with the wildfire’s fights, often getting all bruised up since you force yourself to not use your full power.. but whenever you do, atleast you have your trusty doctor to patch you back up

“Just be careful next time okay sweetie?” She would often tell you

Little side note: i was actually supposed to add acheron and stelle lmfao but i got busy and keep forgetting to write their part haha, i will add them though if any of you want a part two. You can also recommend other characters to add ^^

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xbomboi · 8 months ago

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yapping about Briar. fellow Briar enjoyers assemble.

okay okay i don’t make it too obvious (or maybe i do, i wouldn’t know) but briar is my personal favorite character. i think about where the stories of all the characters would go and what their arcs would be a lot, but hers in particular is really important to me.

so i wanna talk about it.

first of all, she’s narcoleptic coded, right. we all know that. but her mom on the other hand reads to me, like, an alcoholic mother? and her dad is just willfully ignorant. either way, there’s a huge sense of neglect going on in that family. i mean go figure why briar would be the one doing most of the work raising her brothers. and of course she’s a party girl, because who’s gonna stop her? her parents? see yeah exactly.

so i don’t think it’s unreasonable to say she doesn’t have very strong parental figures in her life, at least not at home. but, and now you have to really hear me out about this one, i think baba yaga could take up a parental role in her life.

i know it isn’t much, but the seeds for her having at least a hint of a connection with baba yaga are there.

in the webisode “Stark Raven Mad”, baba yaga scolds briar for rambling about her party, and then as the commotion picks up she’s still exercising authority over briar in particular.

then there’s thronecoming, wherein, when briar is sulking at the dance, upon noticing the picture on the projector, she asks baba yaga for answers, who provides them.

and then skipping all the way to epic winter, after the girls become a little creeped out by her mannerisms and book it, briar is the one who makes sure to peak back in and give a parting remark.

so i think there’s potential there to be explored. her feeling neglected at home and then finding solace in another adult at school would be neat.

but the fact that it’s baba yaga is important, so just put a pin in that and we’ll circle back to it.

now, i think out of the core four, she was (at least at first) the hardest to actually pin-point what the future of her story could look like. with raven, i think it’s pretty clear her journey is just continuing to combat the prejudices of the world as she fights for change, apple is now pretty much on a path to figuring out her own future as ruler of a kingdom and what that’s going to entail, and maddie is the goofball that’s there to have fun and be supportive along the way.

then there’s briar. and, let me be clear, no, in my mind that girl is not sleeping for 100 years with where things are heading; in the main universe of the story, briar will be free of the sleeping beauty destiny.

but it’s like, if she’s not gonna sleep, what more is there to actually do with her? what direction COULD her life go in? because if she’s no longer fated to sleep 100 years of her life away, then she can’t just party like there’s no tomorrow anymore. she’d need to decide what she actually wants to do with her life.

and i think i have an idea.

i mentioned her narcoleptic coding at the start with intent to bring it up again. see, you might notice that a lot of the fairytale aspects of ever after high can be read as allegories for real-world problems. for example, hunter and ashlynn’s relationship is treated in their world the same way society may look at queer couples or biracial couples. or how raven’s mom being trapped in a mirror is their world equivalent to not paying child support.

with that kind of correlation in mind, i think treating briar’s curse as a condition could open up an interesting opportunity. i think, in their world, curses as a whole could be viewed as a separate branch of medical specialization, with briar spearheading this notion of thought.

we know briar is well-versed in chemythstry already. in the webisode “Briar’s Study Party” she makes note of the fact that she’s been studying forever-after, and she demonstrates enough knowledge in the subject to enthusiastically teach it to her friends, who all end up acing their tests on it as a result.

i think this is something she could potentially make a career out of. i think she could come to the conclusion that she wants to be able to help break curses for people everywhere, and could pursue learning to develop potions and elixirs to do so.

which could happen under baba yaga’s tutelage.

picture this: briar declares her newfound goal, to which baba yaga offers to teach briar all she knows in order to achieve what she’s set her sights on. briar—with an ounce of hesitance—accepts, and baba yaga officially takes her under her wing with the intent of mastering sorcery.

obviously, she wouldn’t lose who she is in this. she’s still gonna be an impulsive, adrenaline junkie who desperately needs a screentime limit on her mirrorphone. but in this process, she’d be rounded out by baba yaga and would in turn mature a bit from the experience. she’d get serious about life, but she wouldn’t let go of who she is at heart.

this could lead to her becoming the resourceful one in the main group. like on adventures, she’d be able to pull out a potion or whip something up (because i’m not going to let raven’s magic make her too o.p. she’s gotta have limitations) as a solution to problems. she could really have a role that proves useful and important to the story.

that’s my ideal pitch for where to take briar’s character.

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ninapi · 1 year ago

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┊┊┊✧ ⁺ ⁺╚══ Infinity ╝

Premise: Kanae convinces Sanemi to go on a blind date in a combined effort from all the teachers at the academy to battle Sanemi’s imminent desolated future.

Word count: 3485

Note: This is setup in the Kimetsu Academy world, just so you know~ 😊

Part of a series. You can read the other two installments here: Giyuu, Rengoku.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Kimetsu Academy had been known for many years for having the best teachers there are for every single one of their subjects.

They’ve been single-handedly picked for their roles for a reason.

Shinazugawa Sanemi, being the one in charge of math, was the most hated one among the students.

Truth is, he was an amazing teacher. He was extremely knowledgeable and was able to solve the hardest equations within seconds, making everyone else look like an idiot.

The problem with him wasn’t particularly the fact that he was a genius in his field, but his character.

It was virtually impossible to please this man.

If you didn’t bring your homework, you’d have to run around the school for the entire morning. If you did it but had wrong answers, you had to run around the school for the entire morning.

If you spoke out of turn, you’d have to clean the classroom on your own after class. If you forgot to put your phone in silent mode, said phone would end up flying out the window.

It was pretty easy to see why the students disliked the man this much.

Yet, his fellow teachers knew him better than that.

Yes, there were better ways to do things, nicer words to use, especially with children, but he did everything he did to teach them a lesson, to make sure they paid attention in class and to ensure their future would be bright and successful.

The students lack of love towards him wasn’t the only problem in his life though. What had him this sour was how majority of his co-workers were all either tying the knot or happily in a relationship.

He’s never been one to mess around with girls, he had no time for that. Studying and being the top has always been his priority, along with taking care of his brother on behalf of his parents.

But if he was being honest, something he rarely is, mind you, he felt lonely.

What triggered his ridiculously sour mood was how Tomioka managed to get a girlfriend so fast, and even worse, he barely had to do anything.

Kanae and Rengoku were lucky, like destiny pulled them in the right direction, took them straight into the hands of their beloved, and both were now in preparations to spend their life together with those who held them dear. But Tomioka? All that bastard had to do was scratch his belly while drinking some tea and had the pretty new intern wrapped around his finger.

It was like acid was being poured down his stomach, he could feel it opening holes all over it, consuming him with rage from the inside.

It’s not like he was attracted to the new intern, she was cute, but they barely talked before even when she was in his care; but it made him wonder how do you even get someone to like you back? Even his younger brother had a girlfriend before, and he was still so young…

He’s had girls confess their feelings for him before, especially in high school, but he was too busy at that time trying to raise his brother, work a part time job at the convenience store and trying to get good grades to be accepted in the university he so wished to go into, girls were definitely not a priority back then, and he didn’t really do anything to get them to confess, just ignore them and throw dirty looks at them.

Girls are weird.

But now, he isn’t dealing with girls, he’s dealing with women.

And women are more complicated than girls.

How do you get them to look at you? He has a decent job, he owns his apartment, has experience raising children, the highest degree he could get in his dream university…and he was definitely in the handsome side of the scale…so what was he missing?

“Time, Shinazugawa. That’s what you don’t have.” Rengoku was by his side along with Kanae and Uzui who agreed to tag along for some drinks as to try to cheer his teammate up a bit.

“What does time have the fuck to do with this?” they had been drinking for a while now, his usual dirty mouth coming out to shine in its glory.

“Well, how do you pretend to meet a nice girl when you go straight to your apartment after work every day? I can assure you pretty girls don’t go knocking on stranger’s doors waiting to meet their destined husband…”

“Pfft like you can talk, your stupid ass dialed the wrong number and got a freaking wife out of that! Why do things like that only happen to you? What about me? Am I that much of a bad option…?” alcohol was now showing its effect on him, unbeknownst to all, Sanemi gets quite whinny and sometimes even tears up while drunk, a sight on its own some would say, but very unexpected, nonetheless.

“Sanemin I told you, just trust me! I know the perfect girl for you! Why do you keep ignoring me, huh? Is it because I’m getting married next week? Nobody wants to be my friend anymore because I’ll become a housewife. What’s so bad about that, HUH????” now it was her turn to sob, her face as red as it could get completely lost now that she had a couple of shots of who knows what.

“Jeeze could you both chill the fuck up? What do you mean Kochou?” Tengen who was now ‘babysitting’ according to his terms, tried to keep both of them from tugs and punches, these kids get really out of control with things as strong as pumpkin juice…

“My friend (Y/N), she also works a lot and has no time to meet people out of work, she’s super cute and gentle, and I’ve been trying to set them up for a while now, but his whiny self keeps rejecting her…” she was now poking her tongue out at Sanemi, sniffing in the process.

“Why would you do that, man? She’s really cute I’ve seen her picture before…”

“Wait what? Have you? How?” Kanae’s face was one of disgust, Tengen didn’t have the most ethical hobbies and that was common knowledge around the school.

“I…well let’s just say I’ve seen her picture ok…” he was now trying to hide his embarrassed face behind his enormous beer stein, not wanting to admit how he stalks his co-workers insta accounts when he’s bored.

“I…just…what if we don’t click? I mean, is not like I think she’s ugly or anything, I haven’t even seen her but that’s not the reason why I’m reluctant to the idea…I just…I’m fucking scared ok? I’ve never been on a date before, let alone a blind one…how am I supposed to prepare for that? What if she hates me? I better just stay single for the rest of my life, I took care of Genya as a child, he can take care of me as old man…”

“No, he won’t. Kochou, send a text to your friend, he’s going on a date tomorrow night.”

“WHAT”

“Yes, sir!” typing crazy fast in between a fit of drunken giggles, his fate was being cooked in a pot while he sulked talking to the empty shot glass in front of him about how his co-workers wanted him ridiculed.

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Being forced out of the house by his brother and a very angry Rengoku who had gotten in by accepting an aid call from Genya, Sanemi was now walking from the station to the coffee shop he was supposed to meet his date.

Kanae wasn’t the most specific when describing people, or things for that matter so he was fairly uncomfortable, “She’ll be wearing a dress and she’s such a cutie, you’ll know who she is right away!” or so she said, but there were at least six different girls wearing dresses currently inside the establishment and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to go inside or not just yet.

He was about to call it quits when a panting woman came running towards the door, hair a bit disheveled, cheeks tinted pink with exertion and a beautiful long dress hugging her curves in all the right places, even if it was clear she went there running after work.

Holding onto the door with one hand, she stops in front of him, “Shinazugawa-san, is that you? I’m so sorry, am I late? Were you just leaving? I had a last-minute meeting and lost the train I was supposed to take, had to take the long route here.”

“I-, ugh yes, I mean no, you’re not late, yes, I am Shinazugawa and no I wasn’t leaving, I just- I didn’t know if you were there or not, all Kochou said was that’d you’d be wearing a dress and you were cute.” his flustered being along with his stammering made you chuckle, “Well yeah all she said was that you had white hair and a bunch of scars.”

“That’s a lot more info that what I got, what the heck?” you both were laughing at this point, “was she right though?” you were looking up at him prettily through your lashes and that caused his logic brain to shut down completely. “Yes, I do have white hair and a bunch of scars…”

“Not that, silly. Kanae-chan told you I was cute, was she right?” he’s never been so embarrassed in his entire life, he knew his friends were just trying to destroy his social life instead of helping, he was sure of it now.

“Ugh, the definition of cuteness varies from an individual to another. I don’t particularly enjoy cute things…” he nodded in thought, panic surging through his veins at the sadden look you gave him. “Though, I do think you’re pretty, if that answers your question…” trying to cover his own mistakes, he opens the door for you, motioning for you to go in the cafe and move on with this date.

“I’m (Y/N) by the way.” he grunted in acknowledgement as you looked at the pastry display trying to choose what to get.

“I’m Sanemi, but I guess you already know that…I was told the cake here is really good…” his comment made you turn your gaze towards the cute display of tiny cakes, immediately stealing your entire attention. “You like sweets?” he mumbled something under his breath but just nodded in response, “I do too! Great, we have something in common!”

The soft smile adorning your face made him feel like a stupid teenager, is this how Genya feels when he sees that one girl he has a crush on? He felt so inexplicably giddy, and he hated things he couldn’t properly understand.

“How about we get the featured menu?” stars were falling out of your eyes in excitement; it seemed the menu you were referring to was a menu limited to couples, two tiny lava cakes joined in the middle to form a heart, with two drinks of choice.

“But says it’s for coup-“ he just blinked in realization, clearing his throat, “..y-yeah sure, let’s get it.” clapping excitedly you went over to order the ‘Lovey-dovey sweets combo’, Sanemi towering over you from behind to hand his card over before you could take your purse out. This earned him a lovely smile from that beautiful face of yours, a strange sense of pride filling his insides; it felt like someone was patting him on the back, like he was doing a good job.

“Got it, Lovey-dovey sweets combo for the lovely couple of table 6 coming right along~!” the employee’s comment made you both flush, did you really look like a lovely happy couple? You literally just met-

“So Shinazugawa-san, Kanae told me you have a little brother and that attends your school. What’s that like? I always wanted to have a big family but ended up all by myself pretty quickly.”

“I do yeah, our parents left this world pretty soon, so I’ve been taking care of him since then…having him in the school is weird though, he’s kindda embarrassed of me I think..” the last part made you giggle, making space for the server who brought your order to the table.

“That sounds pretty impressive if you ask me, all I’ve had to take care of before is a small turtle I got as a Christmas present when I was in middle school. And she escaped through a window…” your disheartened face made him laugh; this wasn’t as hard as he thought it would be. Sweets, chatting of nothing in particular with a pretty girl, why was he that nervous earlier? Why did he reject this outing so many times? “Yeah well it wasn’t easy…”

“I’m sure it wasn’t.” you were taking little bites of the treat with your tiny fork, yet he hadn’t touched his yet, he was completely lost in the moment, enjoying the concept of dating for once in his life. “But I highly doubt your brother finds you embarrassing. If he’s a teenager, he probably just feels like his dad is looking at him doing… you know all the crazy nasty stuff kids do in high school…he’s probably embarrassed of himself and doesn’t want you to see him like that.” he’s never seen it that way, many things Genya has done or said in the past making a lot of sense now.

“You should be a teacher too, seems like you know a lot of things about kids.” he meant it as compliment, yet your smile didn’t reach your eyes. “I do know a lot about kids I guess, but not because I want to be a teacher.”

“Then?” he was now sipping on his coffee, fully immerse in the conversation. “Well, I wanted to…ugh…never mind that’s not something you should talk about in a first date…” shaking your head, you laughed awkwardly taking a sip of your own drink. Sanemi’s hand moved on its own, resting on top of yours in a comforting manner, “Hey…it’s fine. I don’t really know what people even talk about or not in first dates...” the smile he was giving you wasn’t the brightest out there, but it made your chest feel warm and made you want to share your thoughts with the man.

“I just…” you stopped once again and to this he responded by caressing the back of your hand, rubbing soft circles against it, “I- like I said earlier, I always wanted to have a big family…” you mumbled your words out, you didn’t want him to think you were trying to snatch him and make him a father on the first date, it was a weird topic for two people who just met, but in all honesty, one of the things Sanemi didn’t like about women of his age was how now a days nobody wants a family, the concept of marriage and kids scares the hell out of everyone lately, and all he wants is to get a family as big as the one he once had when the rest were still alive, it was actually endearing to him.

“So you’ve been doing your homework diligently to be a good mama, huh?” his teasing tone made you chuckle, the air wasn’t as thick anymore. “You could say that.”

“Well I think that’s pretty cool. I had to raise a child without any guidance, so it’s reassuring knowing you know what you’re doing…” he stops in his tracks realizing what he just said. All color drained away from his face, the tiny fork in his hand now discarded on the fancy tablecloth smearing it with chocolate fudge. “I…I mean…It’s a good thing…to be…you know prepared…and stuff…not that I’m trying to get you…ugh fuck I messed this up already, didn’t I?”

But the look in your face was one of adoration instead of horror as he had imagined it would be. He’s never seen such a beautiful loving smile in his life, it was like you actually had the same idea, like you didn’t mind talking about such a thing with someone you just met, like that love at first sight bullshit was actually a thing. “You didn’t~”

─── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

After a year of dating you, Sanemi finally decided to pop the question. Of course, motivated by all the crew at the academy, only him and Tengen were still not married, even Tomioka had eloped or something like that and was now expecting a child.

But you weren’t someone to mess with, he wanted to do things right.

He wanted things to last forever.

Reality is a fickle thing, couples that love each other madly can get divorced in the blink of an eye; beautiful families full of love can crash and disappear almost completely in a day like his did. He wanted to take things slow, to make sure he had everything ready to make you the happiest, to give you all you needed.

But you being you, had to do things your way.

He had booked a lovely and expensive Italian restaurant for the weekend, even the course was already pre-selected. He would get one of those corny cakes with lettering on it asking you to marry him. He booked it months ago, the perfect proposal for his perfect future little wife. If you said yes, that is.

But you…”Baby have you seen my pink socks?” you were snooping around his drawers while he got changed after work. You didn’t really live together, but you’d spend most days in each other’s apartments unwilling to spend a day without seeing each other, even if all you did together was sleep late at night.

“ugh the tiny ones?”

“Mhm!”

“I think they’re next to the bed, no? That’s where I put them last night.” your cute evil giggles, made him remember last night, completely distracting him for a second.

“Oh that’s right!”

With a loud gasp, he came running out of the bathroom to see you already holding the red velvety box in one of your hands. “My love…is…is this…?” tears were filling your eyes at a rapid pace, alarming him to no avail.

“Ugh…I was too slow…” he plopped down on the bed, holding his head down with both of his hands.

“Is it baby?” your tone was softer now as you made your way over to kiss the top of his head.

“I had this whole thing planned for the weekend…you sneaky little beast…” he threw you into the bed, tickling your sides relentlessly as a way to punish you. “Yes. It’s a ring..happy now? Why do you always end up crashing all my surprises? You evil, beautiful woman!” he was showering your face with kisses as he continued to attack your sides, your laughter made his heart soar every time he heard it, it made him feel alive.

“I didn’t…I didn’t know. I swear!!” you wiggled your way out of his grasp, panting in between chuckles, before holding his face gently, placing a soft loving kiss to his plump lips. “I do.”

“You do what? Enjoy crashing my surprises?” he was now resting his forehead on yours, bringing you over to rest on the pillows and cuddle you closer. “Not that, silly. I do, want to marry you…if that’s what this ring is about of course…” the hope in your eyes made it impossible for his heart to pump anymore blood into his blood stream, he was livid, even if this wasn’t what he spent days planning, the answer was all that mattered, he could always cancel the damn reservation.

“Of course that's what this is about, you party crasher.” smiling, he placed one more kiss onto your lips, deeper this time, his hands resting on your lower back as you both bathe on each other’s warmth. “Then I guess we have a lot of things to decide…”

“Like which apartment should we sell?”

“And where to put all your tiny socks…”

Laughing became a staple of his daily life since you became a part of it.

Seeing you every day became the highlight of his life.

Forever never felt this real before and he started to wish the concept would take shape for you two as you grow old together, because as corny as that might sound, is all he can think about at night.

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Masterlist

#kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #demon slayer fanfic #kimetsu no yaiba fanfic #demon slayer x you #demon slayer x y/n #demon slayer x female reader #demon slayer hashira #wind hashira #wind pillar #shinazugawa sanemi #sanemi angst #sanemi x y/n #sanemi x you #sanemi x reader #fluff #sanemi fluff #kimetsu no yaiba sanemi #kimetsu academy

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four-loose-screws · 6 months ago

Text

FE6 Novelization Translation: Front Cover & Introductory Pages

If you would like to start from the beginning, read a missed part, etc., click here!

FE Game Script Translations - FE Novel Translations - Original FE Support Conversations

If you are interested in donating to support my work, please check out my Ko-fi here. Thank you!

———————————

This book is considered #3 in a 3 book set including FE7, so the chapter numbers will be 'Chapter 14' and onward. The first 13 chapters are FE7's 2 books.

Covers

Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade ~ The Binding Blade

Turmoil in Elibe

Book 3

By Masaka Kazuyoshi

Illustrated by Kaneda Eiji

Published by Square Enix

Twenty years after Eliwood, Hector, and Lyn’s journey to save their country ended…

Disaster is once again about to visit the continent of Elibe.

Its fate is in the hands of Eliwood’s son Roy, and Hector’s daughter Lilina.

The tale begins yet again of a set of heroes who take up the current generation’s fight!

In this final book telling the story of Elibe in turmoil!

Color Art

Title Page

Fire Emblem

From “The Blazing Blade” to “The Binding Blade”

Turmoil in Elibe

Book 3

Table of Contents

Part 2: The Binding Blade

Chapter 14: Dawn of Destiny

Chapter 15: The Rebellion of Ostia

Chapter 16: The True Enemy

Chapter 17: Retaking the Capital

Chapter 18: The Binding Blade

Final Chapter: Beyond the Darkness

Continent of Elibe

Character Introductions

Fire Emblem

The Blazing Sword ~ The Binding Blade Book 3

Characters

Roy

[Lycian League・Son of Marquess Pherae]

Main character of the second half of this story. He returns home from his studies in Ostia to participate in the Lycian army in place of his sick father.

Eliwood

[Lycian League・Marquess Pharae]

Roy’s father and the main character of the second part of the first half of this story. Because of his illness, he is currently unable to fight at full strength.

Marcus

[Lycian League・Holy Knight in Service to House Pherae]

Roy’s instructor and a leading knight of House Pherae. Though he is getting on in his years, he serves tirelessly as the general of the Knights of Pherae.

Alen

[Lycian League・Cavalier in Service to House Pherae]

A knight from a distinguished family that has served house Pherae for generations. He is daring and honest.

Lance

[Lycian League・Cavalier in Service to House Pherae]

He is around the same age as his ally Alen, and the two are best friends. They are also equally matched in combat together.

Wolt

[Lycian League・Archer in Service to House Pherae]

Son of Roy’s wet nurse Rebecca (she appeared in part 1 of this story). Though they were raised together like brothers, he does not take advantage of his position, serving as a faithful servant to Roy.

Lilina

[Lycian League・Daughter of Marquess Ostia]

Beloved daughter of Marquess Hector. Roy’s childhood friend. She is cheerful, enjoys helping others, and has a natural talent in magic.

Hector

[Lycian League・Marquess Ostia]

Lilina’s father. Secondary main character of the first half of this story. As the marquess of Lycia’s leading territory, he leads the Lycian army into battle against Bern.

Bors

[Lycian League・Armor Knight in Service to House Ostia]

An exceptionally polite and kind person, even amongst the Knights of Ostia. He serves as Lady Lilina’s personal guard.

Merlinus

[Lycian League・Commander of the Supply Convoy Unit]

A government official who has served House Pherae since Eliwood became marquess. He leads the supply convoy unit, and guards the rear line.

Guinivere

[The Kingdom of Bern・Princess]

Younger half-sister of King Zephiel of Bern. To bring an end to her brother’s wicked ambitions, she flees alone to Lycia.

Elen

[The Kingdom of Bern・Guinivere’s Attendant]

A cleric of St. Elimine’s Church. She is entirely devoted to serving Guinivere.

Milady

[The Kingdom of Bern・Commander of Guinivere’s Personal Guard]

A female wyvern rider who has sworn her loyalty to Guinivere. After Guinivere suddenly goes missing, she works tirelessly to find her.

Dieck

[Mercenary Swordfighter]

A skilled mercenary with countless scars all over his body. He leads a small mercenary group. At Eliwood’s order, he lends his strength to Roy and his allies.

Shanna

[Knights of Ilia・Mercenary Trainee]

A cheerful girl training as a member of Dieck’s mercenaries to become a full-fledged pegasus knight.

Chad

[Lycian League・Orphan Thief]

The caretaker who raised him in an orphanage was killed by Bern. He becomes a member of the Lycian army to take his revenge.

Lugh

[Lycian League・Orphan Mage]

From the same orphanage as Chad. After his caretaker’s passing, he took the other children of the orphanage to Araphen to entrust them to a church of St. Elimine.

Rutger

[Sacae Plains・Mercenary Swordfighter]

After his home city of Bulgar was destroyed by Bern, he swore that he would take revenge. He is serving Marquess Laus of Lycia as a mercenary.

Clarine

[The Kingdom of Etruria・Daughter of Count Reglay]

Daughter of Count Pent of Reglay, an Etrurian noble house. She is selfish, believing that the world revolves around her and her brother.

Saul

[St. Elimine Church・Priest]

His church bestowed upon him the duty of locating the Fire Emblem. He has an aloof and easygoing personality, but also loves to flirt with women.

Dorothy

[St. Elimine Church・Archer]

Travels with Saul as his assigned guard. She has a serious and plain personality, and Saul is never far from her side.

Sue

[Sacae Plains・Nomad of the Kutolah Tribe]

Granddaughter of the chief of the Kutolah Tribe. Her tribe became scattered when Bern invaded. She is being held captive in Thria, one of Lycia’s territories.

Zelot

[Knights of Ilia・Commander of the Edessa Mercenaries]

A paladin who refuses to break his mercenary contract even after his employer’s passing, and continues to fight to save his daughter, Lilina.

Trec

[Knights of Ilia・Cavalier of the Edessa Mercenaries]

A member of Zelot’s mercenary group. He has a very laid back disposition, and often falls asleep on the battlefield.

Noah

[Knights of Ilia・Cavalier of the Edessa Mercenaries]

A member of Zelot’s mercenary group. He has a gentle face and personality, but also knows much about the true nature of the world, perhaps because of his line of work as a mercenary.

Fir

[Sacae Plains・Female Swordfighter]

On a journey traveling around each country, training to improve her swordsmanship. She meets Noah while testing her abilities at the coliseum in Ostia.

Larum

[?・Dancer of the Resistance]

A girl who gathers intelligence for the Resistance. After being kidnapped, she is saved by Roy and his army.

Echidna

[The Western Isles・Leader of the Resistance]

A powerful hero cares deeply for others. She leads the ragtag members of the Resistance, fighting against the Etrurian nobles who unjustly abuse their positions time and time again.

Elffin

[Strategist of the Resistance]

A figure wrapped in mystery, with grace and intelligence not at all befitting of a bard.

Bartre

[The Western Isles・Wandering Axe Fighter]

He knows of the Western Isle’s current tragic situation, and out of the kindness of his naturally chivalrous heart, joins the Resistance. He is searching for his beloved daughter, currently traveling to train her combat abilities.

Klein

[The Kingdom of Etruria・Son of Count Reglay]

Deployed as the Etrurian general stationed in the Western Isles. He was ordered by his superiors to subjugate Roy’s army, but he has doubts about the nature of doing so.

Thea

[Knights of Elia・Commander of a Pegasus Knight Mercenary Group]

A talented pegasus knight employed by Klein. Unlike her younger sister Shanna, she is serious and quick to worry about things.

Raigh

[Lycian Alliance・Orphan Dark Mage]

Lugh’s younger twin brother, who left on a journey to study ancient magic before Bern’s invasion. He is curious about the existence of dragons.

Fae

[Nabata Desert・Girl Living in the Hidden Village]

A young dragon girl who snuck out of her village, and follows around Roy’s army.

Cecilia

[The Kingdom of Etruria・Mage General]

One of Etruria’s three generals. She was once stationed in Ostia, and is an old acquaintance of Roy’s.

Perceval

[The Kingdom of Etruria・Knight General]

One of Etruria’s three generals. He has vowed his unshakable loyalty to the late prince.

Douglas

[The Kingdom of Etruria・Great General]

One of Etruria’s three generals. He fights to protect the king, ready to give his life for that duty if he must.

Zeiss

[The Kingdom of Bern・Wyvern Rider]

Milady’s younger brother. Stationed in Bern’s Western Army, commanded by Narcian.

Yoder

[St. Elimine’s Church・Bishop]

Ordered Saul and Dorothy to search for the Emblem, while he searches to discover what is true and what is false about Bern’s resurrection of dragons.

Niime

[Ilia・Renowned Master of Ancient Magic]

Known as the “Hermit on the Mountain.” Is deeply knowledgeable, even about dragons.

Juno

[Knights of Ilia・Wife of the Lord of Castle Edessa]

A Falcon Knight serving her husband Zelot’s position while he is away. She is also Thea and Shanna’s biological oldest sister.

Zephiel

[The Kingdom of Bern・King]

King of the militaristic country of Bern. Suddenly begins an invasion of Sacae and Ilia. Engulfs the previously stable continent of Elibe in a vortex of chaos.

Idunn

[The Kingdom of Bern・Dark Priestess]

A quiet young woman always by Zephiel’s side, serving him as if she was his own shadow.

Murdock

[The Kingdom of Bern・Leader of the Three Wyvern Generals]

Ordered to conquer Ilia as the commanding officer of Bern’s northern army. He has guarded Zephiel since his youth, and is his loyal servant who obeys his every command. (see book 2).

Narcian

[The Kingdom of Bern・Member of the Three Wyvern Generals]

A wyvern lord who invades Lycia as commanding officer of Bern’s southern army. A narcissist with a cruel and merciless personality.

Brunnya

[The Kingdom of Bern・Member of the Three Wyvern Generals]

A sage stationed in Sacae as commanding officer of Bern’s western army. Her heart is wavering in regards to following Zephiel’s wishes.

Galle

[The Kingdom of Bern・Wyvern Lord Assigned to the Palace]

A powerful soldier who serves as Murdock’s loyal retainer. Though he is originally from another country, his loyalty to Bern is strong. Milady’s beloved.

Arcard

[The Kingdom of Etruria・Governor Over the Troops Stationed in the Western Isles]

Abuses his position to force the pioneers of the Western Isles to work in the mines as slaves to line his own pockets.

Roartz

[The Kingdom of Etruria・High Chancellor]

A high noble who earns the title of next in line for the throne after the crown prince’s passing. Rumor has it that he is colluding with Bern.

Part 2

The Binding Blade

#fire emblem #fe6 #fire emblem 6 #the binding blade #fire emblem the binding blade #fe6 the binding blade #roy #japan #japanese #translation #novel #novelization #light novel #fe6 novelization translation

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heydorothea009 · 8 months ago

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Bread on Toast - A Future Man Fanfiction

Josh Futturman and his fellow coworker and best friend, Liv Branson, get roped into saving the world as time traveling saviors with, what were thought to be, video game characters, Wolf and Tiger. Not only are Liv and Josh completely incompetent, but they are also emotionally inept- will this cause the destruction of mankind? Only time will tell.

Warnings: strong language, alludes to sexual content, ⚠️emotional⚠️, cliffhanger ass ending

A/N: It is with great sadness that I announce that this is the last chapter. Of this season. YAY! Fear not, I am currently 3 chapters away from wrapping up the season 2 installment and will be back in about a month!! Thank you to the readers for sticking around, this fanfiction has meant the world to me and I’m grateful for all the support :) ENJOY!!!!! YEYAH 🗣️🗣️

Chapter 11: A Date With Destiny

Two people appeared in front of them. One of them, a woman, was yelling, “Bomb, bomb, bomb! Get it off me!”

Josh grabbed Liv and dragged her behind the kitchen wall. “Bomb, bomb, bomb!” He yelled. Wolf sprung into action, immediately jumping on the woman and trying to disable the bomb.

“Don’t move!” He commanded her.

“Just chop my arm off!” She wailed.

“Stop moving, if you breathe wrong this blows.” Wolf said urgently. Tiger followed Liv and Josh behind the kitchen wall, all bracing for an explosion that never came. “Clear!” Wolf called out.

“Fuckin’ skull cunts tagged me just as I jumped!” The woman shouted.

“Dingo, what happened? Where’s the rest of the team?” Tiger asked, emerging from behind the wall. Liv and Josh also walked out, eyeing someone with a hood over their face, struggling to get it off. They looked at each other with wide eyes to see if they were looking at the same thing.

“Dead. Just like you, I just watched you die.” The woman, Dingo, said, pointing at Tiger in disbelief.

“Guys, is anybody else noticing the hooded slave?” Josh asked.

Wolf gasped. “That’s no slave!” He rushed over to the person, removing the chain from around his neck and throwing the hood off. The man underneath gasped in the fresh air. “Owl!” Wolf cried excitedly.

“Wolf! Much obliged.” They pulled each other into a tight hug.

“Pre-myrmed Owl!” Liv mouthed to Josh excitedly, giving him a thumbs up.

Owl turned to Tiger, who looked like she might cry if she had the ability to. “Tiger!”

“Owl!” She gasped.

“My good friend.” They pulled each other into a tight hug.

“How are you alive?” Tiger asked, voice full of awe.

“Dingo saved me from a Biotic necro chamber, I’ve been tortured in and out of consciousness for about three weeks.” Owl said.

“So one of you must be Avoid-The-Tunnel.” Dingo looked at Liv and Josh.

Josh nodded and stepped forward to shake her hand. “Welcome to our time.”

Dingo looked him up and down. “The greatest warrior in history?”

“This wee boy?” Owl also studied Josh. “I’m going to ‘69 with him?”

“Oh Jesus.” Liv snorted from behind Josh, turning Owl and Dingo’s gazes to her.

“And who are you?”

“This is Avoid-The-Tunnel’s friend, Liv.” Tiger said.

“Well, we-“ Josh and Liv both started.

“Friend who is a girl who he gets gross with sometimes.” Tiger corrected herself as she pat Liv on the shoulder. Owl and Dingo seemed to accept this answer.

“Josh, you’ll have to explain to them…what happened.”

Wolf said. “You know, with that thing Liv said. Anomaly or something.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I guess that makes sense.” Josh said.

Josh found a whiteboard and had Wolf help him bring it down the stairs (Wolf carried it while Josh kept a hand on the side so he felt like he was “helping”).

Josh explained to Owl and Dingo everything that had happened up to that point, the dance battle in ‘69, James Cameron’s house in 2023, telling Kronish about his future in ‘85, and the new fucked up 2017. Owl and Dingo chowed down on Wolf’s hors d'oeuvres as they listened.

“So,” Owl held up a hand like he had a question. “In your timeline you didn’t take the bridge to steal the TTD?” He asked Tiger and Wolf.

“No.” Tiger shook her head. “No, we took the tunnel but it was a trap, DMC gas.” She said sadly. Liv took the marker from Josh’s hand and wrote above the timeline Josh had drawn “Timeline A: Dingo A - gassed in tunnel, Owl A - Brain eaten by myrm”. “They picked us off one by one until we dropped to our knees just choking on death.”

“Biotics have a mutated p36 immunosuppressant gene that renders them immune to all poisons.” Owl said to Josh and Liv.

“We know, Owl.” Josh said. “We used that same principle to get all of our coworkers to shit themselves in their formal wear.”

“So the bridge was also a trap?” Tiger asked, making a realization. “We were always doomed? This whole time I thought I’d made the wrong call but there was no right call to make.” She sounded slightly relieved. “Well, I…that makes me feel a lot better.” She smiled. “That is a load off.”

Owl grabbed the marker from Liv’s hand and erased Josh’s timeline. Tiger began to explain to him their plan to get into the Kronitorium. “So, we kill Kronish, blow up the building with all his research inside, no innocents die, future saved.” She said.

Owl began to write down a complicated equation on the board.

“I’m confused. And maybe it’s because I haven’t slept in 4,000 fingers, but why are we planning an infiltration op when there are only six of us? We have enough nukes to level this city.” Dingo snapped, walking up to look at what Owl was writing.

“No! No nukes! We’re doing this lean and clean from a moral standpoint .” Wolf interjected.

“Since when are you anti-blowing shit up?” Dingo narrowed her eyes at Wolf. Liv grabbed Josh’s arm, he could tell she was tense. He was too.

“Truth be told, I’m transitioning out of demolitions. I’m really more of a chef these days.” Wolf said happily.

“What the fuck’s a chef?” Dingo asked, coming off extremely rude.

“You see what we had to deal with?” Josh muttered to Wolf.

“Quick question!” Owl turned around from the board. “Since we are in possession of a TTD, why not go back to when Kronish was a newborn?” Tiger visibly tensed as he asked this. “Babies are supposedly soft and helpless. They’re quite killable, almost unfairly so.”

“Perfect! Easy skull smash.” Dingo said.

“No!” Tiger said, a little too quickly. “No baby killing.” She reached up and rubbed a gold locket that no one had even noticed she’d been wearing until that moment.

Owl shrugged, but Dingo narrowed her eyes at Wolf and Tiger, frowning. “I don’t know who these two face pirates are, but you’re not the Tiger who took an anal rod to the gut and you’re not the Wolf who took a nosedive into a firebog.”

“We went through this, Dingo. The small alteration in the space-time continuum brought them to a new spectral plane. It’s not that complicated.” Owl said. Liv looked at Josh with her brows raised. Maybe he really was a genius like Tiger had raved about.

“No, not that, they’ve changed.” Dingo snapped.

“Hey, you watch your rat hole.” Tiger narrowed her eyes right back at her. “I have half a mind to come over there and wash it out with soap, young lady.”

Wolf looked over at Liv and Josh, brows knitted together in a confused way. Liv shrugged and Josh shook his head, they didn’t know either.

“Jokes on you, I don’t know what soap is.” Dingo spat.

Wolf was feeling tense too. “Owl, why did you eat my olive tapenade with your bare hands?” Josh stared up at the ceiling with his jaw clenched. “The serving spoon was right in the dish!”

“Hey man,” Owl said calmly and coolly. “I just learned what a fork is.”

“Okay! Alright, alright, look,” Josh butted in loudly, startling Liv. “I see what’s going on here, okay? Some of us are from Timeline A, others from Timeline B.” He put his hand out to Tiger and Wolf on his right and the other to Dingo and Owl on his left. “But you have to remember, we’re all here for the same reason. We can’t have these factions tearing us apart. What we need right now, more than anything, is to come together.” He knit his fingers together.

“Cum? Together?” Owl repeated.

“Come together.” Josh nodded.

“Charge in.” Dingo rubbed her hands together.

“Yes-“ Josh realized what she’d said, his face fell. “No!”

“Tensions do need to be released.” Tiger said. Wolf nodded, folding his arms seriously.

“Um! Like all together?” Liv asked in a high, awkward voice.

“What part of ‘cum together’ doesn’t make sense to you?” Dingo asked in a snobby voice. “Fuckin’ idiot.”

Liv squinted at her. “What if I don’t want to ‘cum together’.”

“It’s team building and tension releasing Avoid-The-Tunnel’s friend who’s a girl who he gets gross with sometimes.” Owl said.

“…it’s Liv.”

“You two,” Wolf said loudly, pointing at Liv and Josh. “Go upstairs and do your thing,” he ordered.

“Uh, Wolf-“ Josh started.

“We’ll take care of business down here.” He said.

“But the team building!” Owl complained.

“It’s fine!” Tiger raised her voice again.

“Go fuck upstairs before this turns into a whole thing.” Wolf said to Liv and Josh. Josh grabbed Liv’s hand and they slowly started to back up the stairs.

“Josh-“

“We’ll just hide in my room until they’re done.” Josh muttered. As soon as the door to Josh’s room closed he checked three times to make sure the door was actually locked. “We don’t have to actually.” Josh said, going and sprawling out on his bed.

“Have to what?”

“Have sex. We don’t have to, we can just be in here.” Josh said. Liv gave him a little smile.

“Josh, what about the tension release? What about team building?” She teased, mocking Dingo. “She’s kinda annoying isn’t she?” She cuddled up next to him. “And a bitch? Did you hear her down there? If she didn’t have the strength to tear my throat out, I’d have kicked her teeth in.”

“I didn’t want to say anything, but Dingo is already getting on my nerves. I think I hate her” Josh whispered as if she might hear from all the way downstairs. Liv gave him a fake surprised face.

“I’m gonna tell on you!” She giggled quietly, hitting his chest lightly with the back of her hand.

Josh chuckled. “No you won’t.” He placed a kiss on her cheek. They laid there in silence for a few seconds, hearing some scuffling from downstairs.

“What do you say to a quick charge in?” Liv asked, looking up at him from her spot laying on his chest. She felt Josh’s chest rise quickly.

“I would say yes.” Josh said excitedly, obvious that he’d been waiting for the go ahead. She sat up and Josh followed, a glimmer of arousal in his eyes.

Liv pulled him by his collar over to her again, kissing him deeply, cupping his cheeks in her hands. Josh’s tongue met hers, the heat of their tongues melding as they got more and more desperate for each other. His hands slid around her waist, holding her protectively. Her arms strung themselves around his neck as she moved into his lap, wrapping her legs around his waist. They broke apart for air looking longingly into each other’s eyes. Their lips softly collided again, Josh kissing Liv breathless. He held her like she was a precious glass vase, touched her so gently, kissed her like he needed air, whispered her name like it was the only one that he knew.

Liv knew that there, in that moment, she was utterly in love with him.

Liv trailed after Josh down the stairs, adjusting the robe Josh had given her, fluffy and white, like the one Wolf had on the day before. They were met with Tiger, Wolf, Owl, Dingo all sprawled out on the couch in matching ones. Owl had an arm around Destiny the sex doll (no one knew where she’d come from nor how Owl had found her).

“Fucking finally.” Dingo complained. Wolf gave them a sly smile, but didn’t say anything. They’d definitely heard everything from their spot on the couch.

“Alright, tensions released?” Tiger asked, standing up. Everyone nodded. “Wolf?”

“Check.”

“Dingo?”

“Check.”

“Owl?”

Owl was caressing Destiny, the sex doll’s plastic face. “What’re you doing after this mission?” He asked the doll.

“Gonna call that a check.” Tiger said, side eyeing him.

“Future Man?”

“Check?”

“Liv?”

“Check.”

Tiger nodded and strolled over to the white board where Owl had drawn up an elaborate map of their plan. “There’s gonna be a lot of security.” Tiger said as Liv took a seat next to Wolf. Josh sat next to her, putting an arm behind her on the couch.

“We’ve got a lot to catch up on,” Wolf whispered to Liv with a teasing smirk. Liv playfully shoved him.

“Hey!” Tiger snapped at them. Wolf and Liv sat straight up and stopped bugging each other.

“Ooh, you guys got in trouble.” Josh said in a quiet singsong voice. Tiger shot him a glare that shut him right up.

“We’re not getting anywhere without hand access. There’s biometric hand scanners throughout the building. Lucky for us, I got us a set of prints.” She held up what looked like a glove made out of glue.

“Who’s…hand is that a mold of?” Liv asked.

“Stu’s.” Tiger said. “He’s fine, don’t worry, I told him not to come into work today. Okay, Alpha team will clear civilians from the building, drawing out Biotic forces. The only problem is, it’s a suicide mission. Either one of us is going to have to sacrifice ourselves or Destiny has just found her destiny.” Everyone looked to Owl, who was trying to hold Destiny’s hand.

“Good riddance to Destiny!” Josh said.

“Team Alpha will consist of Dingo and I.” Tiger said. Dingo fist pumped the air. Tiger pointed to the lower part of the map. “Meanwhile Bravo and Charlie, they’re gonna enter from underground. Bravo is gonna set charges throughout the building,” Tiger pointed to different locations across the map. “Bravo will consist of Wolf, Josh-“

“And Liv!” Wolf interrupted.

“Yes, and Liv.” Tiger suppressed a small endearing grin as she looked over to Wolf slinging his arm around Liv’s shoulders excitedly and patting Josh on the shoulder. “Charlie, aka Owl, will go deep into the core using his genius to kill the power.” She tossed Owl the glue glove. “You’ll open the impenetrable security doors which will give us access to Kronish himself. Once we get the signal from Charlie that the doors are open, Alpha Team will blow up Destiny, killing all the Biotics in the lobby. That will give us a window of a few minutes before reinforcements jump in. We use it to rendezvous at Kronish’s lab, kill Kronish, set the final charges, and jump back to the future.”

“Um,” Josh raised his hand. “Where do we go at that point?” He asked, pointing between him and Liv.

“You guys are coming with us, aren’t you?” Tiger asked blankly.

“To the future?” Liv shook her head.

“No, we can’t- I mean, we have our whole lives here.” Josh said.

“What lives?” Wolf asked.

“Ooh, burn.” Dingo snickered. Owl chuckled.

“You don’t belong here, you said it yourselves.” Wolf said.

“No, I mean, I have to go and make things right with my parents and…Liv…well, your life didn’t really fall apart but…you know, we should probably stay here.” Josh rambled. Liv shrugged and nodded.

Tiger sighed and shrugged. “Then I guess you sneak out as civilians.”

“Or maybe as janitors.” Wolf said.

Liv and Josh looked at each other and shrugged. “Yeah, I guess that makes the most sense.” Liv mumbled.

“World’s greatest warrior posing as a lowly janitor.” Owl said to Josh. “Where does your brilliance end, Avoid-The-Tunnel?” He reached behind him into the couch cushions and pulled out an energy drink labeled “JOOSH”.

“I wouldn’t drink that.” Josh held out a hand to stop him. “It’s like 10,000 volts to your brain.”

Owl looked at the drink and back to Josh. “Oh. Okay.” He put the can in his robe pocket.

“Kronish labs opens at 7am.” Liv said. “What time is it?”

“6:45” Josh said.

“Great, Wolf, you get the C-4 from the sewer and we’ll strap it to the charge doll.” Tiger commanded. “This is it, this is our one and only chance.”

Tiger and Dingo waited outside the lab behind a pillar with binoculars. Tiger had pushed Destiny off in an electric wheelchair and she wheeled into the lobby, absolutely stuffed with bombs. Earlier, Liv had scrawled “Evacuate the building in 10 minutes or I’m gonna blow! :)” on a piece of lined paper and taped it to the doll. Dingo and Tiger watched as Destiny wheeled in an immediately caused panic amongst the people inside. Alarms began to blare as people started booking it towards all the exits. A mob of elementary schoolers ran out of the building, probably from a field trip.

Tiger squeezed her eyes shut and touched the locket around her neck, silently praying to a God she didn’t believe in that all those kids would make it out safely.

Meanwhile, entering from underground just like in Tiger’s plan, Liv, Josh, Wolf, and Owl walked quietly through the tunnels, stakes high. Josh looked around nervously, reaching for Liv’s hand and intertwining their fingers. Red lights were blinking throughout, signaling to them that Destiny had caused the disturbance they planned for.

“Should we set some charges somewhere down here?” Liv whispered.

“Not yet, I’ll tell you when…” Wolf said as he walked slightly ahead of everyone. He stopped and looked around, realizing they should probably start doing just that. “…wait actually, when.” He muttered, pressing a detonator against the wall and setting the timer. Josh rolled his eyes. Owl was in his own little world about 20 feet behind, studying a singular brick on the wall. “I see some doors, Owl, we need the hand.” Wolf said in a low voice, catching Owl’s attention. He held up one of Destiny’s hands high above his head, the glue glove wrapped over it. He sprinted past the other three and to the biometric scanner.

“He’s…quirky.” Liv said under her breath.

“I think he might’ve had the ‘JOOSH’ I told him not to drink.” Josh said. As the three of them sauntered through the doors, Owl held a hand out to Wolf.

“It’s been an orange, soldiers.” He said, and Wolf grabbed his arm and nodded in response.

“Wait…orange?” Josh raised an eyebrow as Owl held a hand out to Josh.

“Honor, it’s been an honor.” He said. “Isn’t that what I just said?” He shook Liv’s hand politely. “M’lady.” He mocked a curtsy to her.

“Um, thanks Owl.” Liv didn’t know how to respond to that. Owl saluted them with Destiny’s glue hand.

“I love you.” He said to the three of them and waddled away like he’d shit his pants. He looked even stupider in the leopard print jacket he wore that said “SAVAGE” across the back. Josh and Liv stared after him in disbelief.

“Is he alright?” Josh whispered.

“He’s a genius, that’s how they are.” Wolf whispered back, patting Josh on the chest and charging down the hall. Josh looked to Liv with a concerned look.

“I’m pretty damn sure he drank that energy drink.” He huffed as they took off after Wolf.

Back upstairs, Tiger was surveying the lobby with her binoculars.

“Alright, all the ‘innocent’ people who we ‘can’t let die’ are out. Can we blow this shit up now?” Dingo snapped impatiently.

Tiger slowly nodded, bringing a walkie talkie up to her mouth. “Alright, Alpha’s ready to bl-“ before she could finish, she spotted a little girl hiding behind a pillar inside. “Wait, wait, wait, wait, we are not clear.”

Dingo made a frustrated noise and snatched the binoculars from Tiger’s hand. “What the fuck?” She spotted the little girl. “One fucking youngling?!” She seethed, pulling the binoculars away from her eyes in one aggressive motion. “The fate of humanity’s in the balance here, what are you doing?” She hissed.

“No,” Tiger touched her locket. “I gotta get her outta there.” She started to march inside. Dingo chased after her.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Dingo grabbed Tiger’s shoulder roughly. “What the fuck is wrong with you, Tiger? You talk funny, you care about younglings, and you don’t smell like dirt anymore.” Dingo looked her up and down as Tiger protectively held her necklace. Dingo scoffed. “This time has turned you into a monster. And why do you keep touching that strangle chain?” Dingo’s hand shot out to grab the chain.

“No, no, no!” Tiger fought against her. “Dingo, do not take my baby!” She said through gritted teeth. The locket had been a gift from Estelle Kronish, something she promised to treasure forever. Dingo snapped the chain from Tiger’s neck, prying the locket open. Tiger stood there, stunned, unsure of how to explain what was inside, pictures of Estelle and Elias. Dingo slowly turned her gaze up to Tiger again, a sneer on her face.

“‘You’ll always be a member of the family’?” She looked between the locket and Tiger. “‘Love, Estelle and Elias Kronish?!”

Tiger bobbed her head from side to side. “You know what, when you read it out loud it doesn’t sound great.” Dingo narrowed her eyes on Tiger, inching closer to her, looking ready to attack.

“What do you think your future’s gonna be like?” Josh asked Wolf in a hushed tone.

“I dunno, it’d be just as strange for me as it would be for you guys.” Wolf said, glancing over his shoulder. “Nothing to do but adapt.”

“Easy for you to say, everywhere you go everyone loves you.”

Wolf smirked to himself. “That they do, but hey! Don’t sell yourself short.” He handed Josh a detonator as they approached a beam. As Josh set it up, Liv looked around protectively. She heard the clicking sound of Josh pressing it to the wall and setting the timer. Wolf slapped Josh on the shoulder proudly. “Way to find the weak axis of the I-beam. Adapting already, see?” He looked at Liv. “Good pick.”

Liv looked at Josh with a small grin knowing full well that the day before Wolf had been judging her. Josh gave her the same small grin before peering around the corner. His body tensed, signaling to Liv and Wolf that danger was coming. He turned back and smashed both of them behind the beam, holding his arms out of either side of them protectively, as if that would shield them from any harm. The Biotics who stomped past them were too busy staring straight ahead to even notice them. Josh felt Liv’s chest heave against his as she sighed with relief. Josh looked at Liv and pressed his forehead against hers as he gave a sigh of relief too. Wolf was pressed into the corner behind Liv.

“Listen, I love both of you, but this isn’t really a kissing opportunity.” Wolf whispered. “Although that might be kinda hot-“

Josh and Liv both turned their stares up to Wolf. “Seriously?” Josh pushed away from the wall.

“You’re both very attractive people who I don’t mind seeing kiss.” Wolf shrugged nonchalantly. Josh rolled his eyes as he moved into the next room and up the stairs and Liv chased after him. Wolf took a couple large steps and caught up with them.

They set several more charges. “The pupils have become the masters.” Wolf patted them both proudly on the back.

“Who would’ve thought I had a knack for explosives?” Josh set the timer off on a detonator, winking at Liv.

“Not me,” Wolf started up another flight of stairs. “I never believed in you. I thought you were weak and had bad plans.” Josh sighed as Liv gasped.

“Wolf!” She hissed.

“I’ve heard that before.” He muttered. They came to a door, Wolf pressed his ear against it.

“But you’ve been more dedicated to this mission than anyone else, and Liv really liked you.”

“You met me before you met her.” Josh pointed out in a flat tone.

“Yeah, okay, but she liked you so I had to tolerate you. But now? I really like you.” He looked back at Josh. “I want you to know, if you did come to the future with us, I’d take care of you, like you took care of us.” Josh could recognize softness in his tone and his face, it was the way he spoke to Liv. He really meant it.

“Wow, Wolf,” Josh felt emotional.

“I know,” Wolf opened the door and stealthily walked through. Josh looked at Liv, who looked back at him with the same emotion filled eyes. Josh opened his mouth the day something, but decided against it, slipping his hand into hers and walking through the door and into a dark hallway.

“You know, all I can think about since I murdered myself is that I don’t belong in this time any more than you and Tiger do.” Josh said quietly as he and Liv tiptoed behind Wolf.

“Me too, I keep wondering what this time’s version of me is like.” Liv said quietly.

“I feel like a man out of time.”

“Exactly. But woman.”

“It’s a weird feeling, right?” Wolf lightly chuckled.

“Yeah.” Liv and Josh responded at the same time.

“It’s probably why I did all that coke.” Wolf said, turning a corner. They both nodded, muttering in agreement. “I’m just kidding, I did that because it was awesome.” He grinned over his shoulder at them, making them both laugh quietly. Josh looked at Liv, hand still clutching hers. He looked up at Wolf, who sauntered up to the big, impenetrable doors.

“Liv,” He whispered so Wolf couldn’t hear. “What if we went with them?”

“To their time?” Liv whispered back.

“We don’t belong here.” Josh looked at her with pleading eyes. “And they’ve said how it will be better in the future once we’ve stopped Kronish. I want to go with them, but only if you’re there.” He brought their intertwined hands up, putting his other hand on them.

Liv nodded quickly. “Okay! Okay, let’s do it.” She whispered, a wide grin spreading across her face. “I’ll follow you wherever you go.” Josh’s eyes filled with ecstasy and joy.

“Hey,” Wolf gruffed. “These are the doors.”

Josh and Liv caught up with him. “Wolf. We’re gonna do it.”

“We’re gonna go with you guys back to the future.” She gave Josh a little grin at her reference. Wolf’s eyes lit up. “We’re done being janitors.” She squeezed Josh’s hand.

Wolf looked at them with an enthusiastic glint in his eyes as he raised the walkie talkie to his mouth. “Bravo’s at the Kronish door. Charlie, what’s your ETA?”

They were met with screaming from Owl. “Physics! Inertia! Why have you forsaken me?”

All of their faces fell instantly. “Owl. Come in, Owl.” Wolf responded as calmly as he could. No response. Wolf hit the side of the walkie talkie with the heel of his palm. “Owl, do you copy?”

Owl answered in a high, girly voice. “Yes, how may I help you?” He dropped his voice to a low octave. “Yes, I believe I’m supposed to have an orgasm.” He answered in his girly voice. “Oh yes, right this way.”

Josh looked at Wolf with a concerned face, hoping this was normal, but judging from the way Wolf looked just as concerned, it couldn’t be good.

“Will this orgasm do?” Owl asked himself. He lowered to a low octave again. “Yes, it will!”

“Is…Owl…cumming?” Liv asked as Owl moaned loudly on the other end.

Wolf shook his head. “No, he’s been myrmed.” He sounded distraught.

“Again?!” Josh cried.

“Goddamn necro chamber!” Wolf growled. “Every freaking fucking timeline.” Owl was still wailing. Wolf paced away, halfway down the hall and turned back. “A myrm eats its way through your brain lobe by lobe.” Wolf explained as he paced back to Liv and Josh, who stood in shock, confusion, and terror. “If he’s having an orgasm this intense, it can only be because the myrm is chewing on his amygdala.” He saw the way Liv winced. He leaned down to her level, assuming she didn’t know what that meant. “That’s the brain’s clit.”

“Oh yeah, that makes sense.” She shivered with disgust.

“She’s squeamish.” Josh tightened his grip gently on her hand. Owl continued to moan through the walkie talkie.

“So you went back to the 40s to slit his throat as a baby, that part makes sense.” Dingo was slowly advancing on Tiger, rage burning in her eyes. “Then what?”

“Well, then…one thing led to another and you know how it goes, I kinda ended up raising him.” Tiger kept her distance.

“Was that before or after you sent him on the floaty box with his secret charging mate?” Dingo squinted her eyes.

“It’s called a boat and it was after.” Tiger snapped. “Or before, depending on how you view time.”

Dingo barred her teeth. “How many chances have you had to kill Kronish and not done it?”

Tiger stopped and thought for a moment. She started to count on her fingers. “Oh…yeah…”

Dingo aggressively slapped Tiger’s hand down. “The answer should be zero! You’ve gone fucking soft!” She barked. “You goddamn traitor, I’m not following your plans anymore,” she tried to grab the walkie talkie from Tiger’s belt. “I’m in charge now!” They fought against each other, Tiger tried to pull it from Dingo’s grasp, but snapped it in half. In retaliation, Dingo kicked Tiger through the window and into the lobby, landing her in a mess of shattered glass. Tiger’s head shot up to assess her situation. Remaining Biotics marched single file towards her. Tiger craned her neck to look at the scared little girl, who was still hiding.

“Sweetie, you gotta get out of here, the grown ups are playing.” She said as gently as she could, trying not to scare her further. “Go!” The little girl nodded with wide eyes, standing up and running through the exit. Tiger heaved a sigh of relief.

“Give me the detonator.” Dingo stepped through the broken window menacingly. Tiger grabbed Dingo’s arm as she tried to swing a punch, throwing her into the Biotics, making them topple to the ground like dominoes.

Tiger ran for cover, watching Dingo struggle to stand. She set off Destiny, throwing herself behind a wall as she blew up everything in the lobby. “Owl!” She panted into the walkie talkie. “Owl, open the goddamn doors, I had to blow Destiny early, Dingo turned on me.” She heard nothing. She let out a frustrated groan as she punched the wall, taking off in the direction she hoped led to the doors that Wolf, Josh, and Liv would be at.

“Fifteen brain bombs just blew downstairs, Biotic reinforcements are gonna be here any second!” The Bravo team heard as someone charged down the hall.

“Tiger?”

“Shit…” Wolf hissed, trying to throw his body weight against the doors. “These doors must be impenetrable, there’s no way we’re blowing through this.”

“Wait, you said that Kronish doesn’t let anybody into his lab, right?” Josh asked Tiger. She nodded. “You know what he does let in? Possums.” Everyone stared at Josh, brows pinching together. He pointed to a small chute next to the door. “Guys, the incinerator chute. That’s our way in!”

“No, as soon as they arrive they’ll make straight for Kronish, we’ll be overrun.” Tiger shook her head, face paling.

“Yeah, but not if you hold them off.” Josh said. “Look, all you gotta do is give me enough time to climb up the chute, set the final charge, and kill Kronish myself.”

“What about me?” Liv asked.

“Liv, you can’t come with me, you’ll be with Tiger and Wolf.”

“What? Why?” She asked loudly, voice verging on breaking.

“Liv, it’s dangerous.”

“And the Biotics aren’t?”

“I appreciate your offer, I really do,” Tiger said. “But you've got, like, what, one kill notch on your belt? And evil you did most of the work, let’s be honest.”

“No.” Josh shook his head. “If someone’s gonna kill Kronish, it should be me.”

“Josh!” Liv’s voice broke.

“With that door sealed your only exit is down into the fire.” Wolf said. Josh slowly processed his own plan.

“…it’s a suicide mission.” Tiger whispered. “No coming back, no do-over, no tomorrow…” Liv looked more and more distraught.

“Josh, no!” She grabbed his shoulders.

“You’re gonna die.” Tiger added.

“Yeah, okay, look, I’m realizing that.” Josh brushed Liv’s hands off of his shoulders and walked a couple paces away.

“Josh-“ her eyes were welling up with tears.

“When you guys invited me to come to your future, that meant everything to me, but I don’t think that’s what’s meant to happen. Destiny isn’t something that just arrives on your doorstep from Japan or wherever, it’s something that you seize in the moment, the moment where you realize you have to murder/suicide your former boss and mentor.” Wolf and Tiger looked at each other while Liv began to shake, tears spilling from her eyes.

“What about me, Josh?” She cried.

“Yeah, what about Liv?” Wolf asked in a hushed tone.

Josh closed his eyes and exhaled softly, trying not to cry. Liv meant everything to him, she always had. He couldn’t have her dying because of him. He didn’t know what would happen to her.

“We can take her with us.” Wolf said quietly, Tiger narrowed her eyes at him.

“No we can’t.” She hissed.

“Yes we can!” Wolf wrapped an arm around Liv’s shoulder protectively as they shook harder while she cried.

“I don’t want to go with you guys without Josh!” She pushed herself away from Wolf, running into Josh. “I want to be with you, let me go with you.” She buried her face in the crook of his neck. Josh wrapped his arms around her tightly. Wolf gave Tiger a look, signaling they should let them say their goodbyes. Tiger drew out a blaster and her and Wolf stalked down the hall to give them space.

“Liv,” Josh whispered gently, pulling her away so he could look at her. The heartbroken look on her face shattered him. “I don’t want you to die because of me.”

“But Josh, then we’ll die together.”

“We’re not Romeo and Juliet, okay? Look, I think you should go with them- I know what I just said, but, if it truly is a better future, that’s where I want you to go. I care too much about you Liv, I just…I don’t want you to have to die because of me.”

“Josh. I can’t.” Liv whispered, lip quivering. “I can’t without you.”

Josh nodded, tears falling from his eyes. “I know.” He exhaled shakily, trying to cover it up with a laugh. He shook his head as he looked at her. He loved her. “I don’t want to die.” He shook with sobs, pulling Liv tight against him. “Liv, I don’t want to die.” They held each other, crying and trembling, racked with sobs. Tiger and Wolf could hear them, breaking both their hearts into pieces.

“You don’t have to.” Liv whispered, inhaling shakily, pulling away and wiping her tears. “You don’t have to die again Josh, because I won’t allow you to. You’re going to kill Kronish and then you’re going to climb right back down that chute, I’ll make sure there’s no fire at the bottom, you can trust me. You’re going to sneak out as a civilian like Tiger said earlier, and I will too after helping Tiger and Wolf with the Biotic reinforcements and sending them back to the future, okay? We’ll live a normal life here in this timeline. This is our chance to start over, and you’re the only person who I want to do it with.” She held his face, wiping his tears. He wiped her tears away and nodded.

“Okay, okay, I can do that.” Josh pressed a kiss to her forehead. He reached into his pocket, pressing something round into her hand. “When that thing’s light turns green that means Kronish is dead, the final charge has been set, and I’m coming back down. You make sure that Tiger and Wolf get the fuck back to the future and that they don’t come back for us no matter what.”

Liv looked down at the red light staring up at her from the round object in her hand. She wasn’t sure what it was, but she’d seen Wolf give it to Josh. “Okay.” She whispered, wiping away a stray tear, looking into his eyes. She looked to the side to see Tiger and Wolf looking at them, eyes full of grief and pride.

“I’m proud of both of you.” Tiger said, taking a step towards them.

“We’ll get her out safely, Josh. One way or another, I promise.” Wolf nodded towards him.

“We’ll never forget what you did here.” Tiger made her way over to Josh, placing a hand on his shoulder. “You’re not Future Man, you’re something much better. You’re Josh Futturman.” She pulled him into a tight embrace. Tiger never hugged anyone. Josh sank into the hug, holding back tears again. She pulled away and turned to Liv. “And you, you were the most pleasant surprise I’ve ever received,” She smiled at her, wrapping Liv into a tight hug. “Future Man’s friend.” She said fondly. “I’m glad you stuck around.”

Wolf gave Josh a small smile. “I know we’ll never get a chance to switch dicks back, but I’m cool with that. It was never about the dick, it’s about the warrior’s mane. And you’ve earned every last hair.” Before Josh had a chance to react, Wolf placed his hand on the back of Josh’s neck, pressing their foreheads together. Wolf repeated his last sentence in Na’vi before letting go and turning to Liv. “Liv Branson, I know we’re not saying goodbye just yet, but you are my best friend.” He enveloped her in the world’s tightest hug as she began to cry again.

“Wolf, I love you so much.” She cried into his chest.

“I see her in you. Sigorn-E.” Wolf said. That made Liv cry harder and hug him tighter. “I’ll never forget you Liv, never. I hope every time you and Josh fuck, you think of me when you see my penis on his body.” Liv pulled away.

“Wolf, I think you should be done.” She sniffled, wiping her tears away.

“Yeah Wolf, that’s kinda weird.” Josh said.

Wolf pat Liv’s head, looking down at her with a small, endearing smile. “Okay, okay. Go give him a kiss.” He gestured his head towards Josh. Liv threw her arms around Josh’s shoulders and pulled him in for what could be their final kiss. It was tender and gentle, Tiger didn’t even feel the need to throw up, she just looked at Wolf with softened eyes. Wolf was welling up with tears. Dingo was right, they had gone soft. But they didn’t give two fucks.

Josh pulled away slightly, tucking some of Liv’s hair behind her ear. “I l-“ The floor rumbled.

“Fuck!” Tiger yelled. “They’re here.”

Josh gave Liv a quick peck on the forehead. “I’ll tell you after.” He stroked her cheek one last time as she rubbed her hands up his arms. Wolf helped to boost Josh into the chute.

“I love you!” Josh heard Liv desperately call to him as he started his perilous journey up towards Kronish. The chute door slammed, leaving Josh alone.

As the chute door closed, Wolf put an arm on Liv’s left shoulder. Tiger’s hand landed on her right shoulder.

“Hey you three!” A voice behind them barked. Tiger pulled a blaster from her jacket, concealing it against her body, shooting Liv a side eye. Liv reached for the blade on her belt. “Don’t you know the building is being evacuated?” They turned slowly to see three Biotic scientists approaching them. Wolf reached behind him, grabbing something from his belt.

“Puck chuck!” He yelled, throwing a circular blade into a scientist's throat. Tiger leapt over them, stabbing the one grabbing his throat in the back.

“Gut knife!” She screamed. The other Biotics shot their blasters at them.

Liv stabbed one of them in the stomach. “Gut knife!” She yelled, copying Tiger. Tiger repeatedly stabbed the man.

“Gut knife, gut knife, fucking gut knife! Fuck you!” She screamed. Wolf kicked the third Biotic through a janitor’s closet door, grabbing an unattended mop and snapping it over his knee. The Biotic tried to advance on him but Wolf stabbed the jagged side of the wood straight through his stomach.

“Science wand!” Wolf yelled, pushing the dying Biotic to the ground. He tossed the mop end to Liv. “Liv! Heads up!”

Liv caught it, driving the splintered wood into her dying Biotic’s stomach. “Not just a janitor now, bitch.”

“More for the gobulator.” Wolf growled, helping Liv to her feet. Liv saw the blood on her hands and shuddered.

“Let’s not kid ourselves.” Tiger said, handing Liv a blaster from her belt. “I didn’t think you had it in you, kid.”

“Guys, we need to make sure we get the fire at the bottom of the incinerator to turn off.” Liv begged. “I promised Josh, he doesn’t have to die-“

“We heard, we’ll help you.” Tiger said. “Don’t worry, Liv.”

Blaster shots whizzed past their heads as they ducked. “So much for stealth mode.” Wolf threw a mine at the reinforcements making their way down the hall. Wolf grabbed Liv and the three took off down the opposite end of the hall.

“We’ve gotta draw them away from the door!” Tiger yelled as they turned the corner, just as the explosion happened.

In the chute, Josh was awkwardly shimmying his way up to Kronish’s office, taking longer than he expected it to. “I thought this would be easier.” He panted, gritting his teeth. He grabbed onto a vent, trying to help hoist himself up, but his knee slipped, making Josh’s heart stop. He only slid down a tiny bit before he was able to stop himself, but that was enough to scare him. His heart was pounding in his ears as he took in shaky deep breaths. “I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay,” he repeated to himself over and over. He looked down into the fire way down before him. “God, it’s hot.” He leaned his head back against the metal, chest heaving. “Why didn’t I just play Madden?”

Having escaped the first wave of Biotics, Tiger, Wolf, and Liv crept through a door that led through another maze of halls, this one split three ways. The lights weren’t as dark in this one, making it feel less ominous. Their blasters were drawn, heads on a swivel. They heard the hum of blasters behind them and saw the laser points on the walls.

“Fuck!” Wolf shouted. The doors in front of them opened, swarms of Biotics on the other side.

“Go!” Tiger screamed, grabbing both Liv and Wolf and running straight down the hall, away from the Biotics closing in on them from the other halls. As they ran, the Biotics fired at them.

Wolf shielded Liv with his body as he turned around to shoot back, but he was struck in the collar bone. “I’m hit!” He cried. Liv fired her blaster around him, taking down a single Biotic. They fired at her, hitting her in the arm. She cried out, Tiger grabbed her other arm but was immediately hit in the leg and stomach. She began to keel over.

“No!” Liv screamed, wrapping her good arm around Tiger. Wolf yelled as he was hit in the back. Liv grabbed him with her bad arm, wailing in pain. Tiger, Liv, and Wolf stumbled their way to a closet with a heavy iron door. Liv heard the beep of a bomb timer being set and watched as Wolf dropped a mine to the ground. Tiger shot several blasts behind them as they made their way to the closet for cover. Blasts flew past them, knicking their shoulders and sides. As soon as they passed through the threshold, Wolf fell to the ground. Liv and Tiger worked together to shut the heavy door, Liv pulling the latch shut and holding it. The door buckled as the explosion went off, Liv and Tiger holding the latch closed together. Liv sank to her knees panting and holding her arm.

“Fuck…” Wolf breathed out, rolling to his side.

“We have to make sure the fire gets turned off.” Liv heaved.

Tiger handed her her walkie talkie. “Owl.” Was all she managed to say.

“He’s myrmed.” Wolf winced in pain as he tried to sit up.

Tiger’s eyes darted between Wolf and Liv. She slammed her fist against the door. “Son of a perf cock!”

Josh spilled out from the chute into Kronish’s giant office. He scrambled to his feet, readying his blaster. The office had cement walls, neutral colors, it felt cold and like a prison, or like a very uninviting IKEA show room.

“Mr. Futturman,” Kronish said politely. “I’ve been expecting you. Where’s Ms. Branson? I thought she’d at least be with you.”

Josh’s heart sank. “Oh my God, you’re evil now.” His blaster hummed as it warmed up, pointing it straight at Kronish. “Damn it, why couldn’t you have just been happy eating your conch fritters?”

“But I was, Josh, I was!” There was a tinge of sadness in his voice. “As happy as a conch, which is like a clam, only much more delicious.” Kronish smiled, but there was no usual Kronish joy behind it. Josh adjusted his hand around his blaster, gulping. “Leslie and I were living our dream far, far away from here until one windless, fateful day just north of the Isle of Lamu.” Kronish’s face fell slightly. “My dearest Leslie brushed past a rusty nail and contracted a staph infection, simple, treatable, but we were a five day sail away from the nearest hospital.” Josh held his blaster steady, shaking his head, eyes full of despair. “In Somalia.” Kronish added.

“Oh God,” Josh whispered, heart sinking further.

“By the time we reached dry land, the love of my life expired right in front of me and there was nothing I could do about it.”

“Please,” Josh begged. “You have to make this easier for me.” He lowered his weapon

“But there was something I could do about it,” Kronish continued, a glint of power in his eye. “You told me! The power to eradicate pain and disease forever lay within me. I could make it so that no one ever had to watch a loved one be taken away from them ever again. How could I not pursue such a noble path?”

“Owl, come in Owl.” Liv said for the eighth time. Nothing. “Owl! Team Charlie! Somebody!” She cried.

“Liv, there’s no use.” Tiger muttered, slumping next to Wolf, who was holding the wound on his collar bone. Tiger reached over and pressed her hand to his wound, trying to staunch some bleeding. Wolf winced and groaned.

“You know, I don’t remember Dingo being such an asshole.” Wolf said in a low voice.

“Yeah,” Tiger chuckled. “She was right though, we have changed.” She looked up at Liv, who was standing over them. “For the better. I like who we’ve become…which is why it sucks we’re about to die.”

Liv violently shook her head, screaming into the walkie talkie. “Owl!”

Wolf rested his head against Tiger’s, holding his hand to hers, closing his eyes. He opened them and they landed right on his gobulator. He sat up straight and immediately winced and moaned in pain. “We don’t have to.” He gruffed. “Tiger, it’s time for Beaver’s Razor.” He said, looking over at her.

“What- what’s that?” Liv asked. Tiger looked at him, eyes lighting up.

“Wolf, you’re a genius.”

Josh had his blaster raised towards Kronish again. “Look, I’m sorry about Leslie, I know that you loved him so much, and you guys used to really get after it sometimes. But the truth is, every time and every timeline your work leads to the creation of the Biotics who destroy all of mankind.” Josh slowly walked closer to Kronish as he spoke.

“No!” Kronish pointed a finger at him. “I kept the research, all my research right here under this roof, I shared it with no one!” He pointed to a case full of his research and vials. “I will never do that, I am dedicated to good, to ending pain.”

“I know that you are,” Josh said, lowering the blaster slightly. “But this is already happening. I’ve tried really, really, really hard not to kill you. Okay. It’s been my number one goal. I’ve tried to change you, I’ve tried to control events, but it doesn’t work.” Josh rambled, getting closer to Kronish as he backed away. “This is where we end up.”

“You’re wrong, Josh, I’ve been careful.”

“It doesn’t matter how careful you’ve been, okay?” He caught sight of Kronish’s monitors of the security footage. All he could see were Biotics charging into the building. “Look! Don’t pretend you don’t see what’s happening down there. This is the army that your cure created.” Kronish looked at the monitors, watching Biotics breaking down doors. Kronish shook his head, eyes growing horrified.

“…I wanted to heal the world.”

“I know you did.” Josh said gently. “And in another life you were another kind of great man where you were strong and caring and warm and supportive.” Josh’s voice broke. “And that’s what makes this so much harder.” He raised his blaster again.

Liv and Tiger held the door shut as Biotics began to pound in the door, the bolts on the latch starting to loosen.

“It’s now or never, Wolfie.” Tiger said in a strained voice.

“Okay!” Wolf readied the gobulator, spilling the small bombs through the gap in between the floor and the door. Tiger pulled Liv away from the door, watching the bombs go spilling out and into the hall. “Say hello to your little friends!” Wolf shouted, pressing a button in the small box, and diving to shield Tiger and Liv. A massive explosion shattered the door and the walls around.

“You’re not a killer, are you son?” Kronish asked calmly.

Josh had his blaster pointed straight at Kronish’s head. “Today I am.” He said sadly. “And you have to die.”

Kronish didn’t say anything, he just looked down at his desk. “Tomorrow, to demonstrate my breakthrough to the world,” he opened a chest on his desk. Josh’s grip tightened on his weapon and he shifted on his feet anxiously as he saw the chest holding a gun and a small box inside. “I was going to inject myself with a needle filled with microdoses of 100 of the world’s deadliest diseases.” He opened the smaller box, inside sat two syringes filled with fluids. He held up one of them for Josh to see. “And then, dramatically, save myself with my cure.” He held up the other syringe. “It would have been fantastic theater.” He said with a glum smile. “Tonight’s performance will have a different ending.” Without warning he stuck the needle full of the microdoses into his neck, shocking Josh, who watched in horror as Kronish grunted and yanked the needle out.

Kronish motioned for Josh to step aside, to which he did, watching and realizing as Kronish made his way over to the chute, that he had just killed himself for Josh. He slowly followed behind Kronish, lowering the blaster.

Kronish let out a huff as he dropped his cure down the chute and into the fire. “That stings.” He said, trying to keep an air of positivity in his voice.

“Okay, we broke the Beaver’s dam.” Tiger panted as she wrapped an arm around Wolf.

“Biotic flood comes next.” Wolf said through gritted teeth, hobbling out of the closet.

“Owl, come in Owl. Owl, come on, you’ve got to shut off the fire to the incinerator.” Liv begged into the walkie talkie. “Please Owl, please answer me.” Silence.

“Skibidibop.” Owl said.

Tiger and Wolf both gasped, they were both fully convinced Owl had died. Liv let out a strangled mix between a sob and a laugh. “Owl, Owl, are you there?”

Owl answered, singing some sort of garbled gibberish. “Owl, are you at the control panel? Shut down the power to the possum chute!”

“Skibidibibidibop.” Owl answered.

“…was that a yes?” Liv looked at Tiger and Wolf, who just shrugged. Wolf’s eyes widened as they heard something small clank against the floor and start rolling towards them.

“DMC!” Tiger gasped, the air filled with fog.

“Oh shit,” Wolf started to hack. “I really thought this was going to work.” Liv waved her hand around, trying to clear the fog, starting to cough too. It felt like her lungs were closing in and she couldn’t breathe.

“No!” She managed to yell through her hacking. “No!” Tiger looked around them with wide eyes, completely unaffected by the poisonous gas. She touched her face in disbelief, and looked down at her hands, waiting to see them crack and start to bleed, but they didn’t. She was fine.

“Help…” Wolf’s voice came out strangled. The round object that Josh had given Liv rolled out of her pocket as she fell to her knees, fighting for air. It flashed from red to green. Tiger knew what she had to do to save not only Wolf but Liv too. They couldn’t leave her to die. She pulled out the TTD from Owl and Dingo.

“I’m sorry, Josh.” Tiger whispered, firing it up. Liv struggled for air as she weakly turned her head to Tiger, hearing what she’d said. Tiger grabbed Liv’s shoulder and Wolf’s arm. Biotics rounded the corner as the TTD began making its signature buzzing and whirring sounds. Sounds that Liv knew all too well.

“No!” She managed to scream out. “No, Tiger, no!” Light flashed around them, and she felt the familiar sensation of her limbs feeling like they were getting torn from her body.

Watching Kronish die was one of the hardest things Josh had ever had to see. The life draining from his eyes was haunting. Josh had sat with him underneath the possum chute, trying to keep the conversation light hearted, telling Kronish of the Kronish Ball, and the famous chocolate balls.

“How…whimsical…” Were Kronish’s last words before he exhaled his last breath. Josh bowed his head in mourning, a single tear falling down his cheek. Kronish never deserved to go through the things he did. Josh stood and set the final charge, heading towards the incinerator chute. He was met with the heat from the flames down at the bottom.

“Oh God, Liv,” Josh let the door slam as he nervously paced away, raking his hands through his hair. Had she died? What happened? She promised to shut the flames off.

“Joosh!” The voice screaming from walkie talkie scared him half to death. Owl. He hadn’t died yet.

“Owl, Owl are you there?” Josh responded.

“Thirst hyped! Brain plunged!” Owl yelled back. So he had had the energy drink. “Skibidibopbopboo!”

“Owl, do you copy?” Josh shouted. Owl sang in response. “Owl, listen to me, okay? You need to cut the power right now to the possum incinerator chute! Shut it down right now! Right now! Or I’m gonna burn alive! Do you understand- do you copy?”

Nothing. “Skibidibop.”

Josh nodded. “Good enough.” He climbed into the chute, glancing back at the detonator counting down to the explosion. He had 15 seconds. He started to reverse crawl down the chute, praying the fire would shut off any second. When the detonator exploded, it shook the chute, making Josh lose his balance and start to plummet down, down into the flames that hadn’t shut off yet.

“I don’t want to die!” Josh screamed as he manically grasped the metal walls for anything, anything that could stop his fall. Just as he felt the heat get stronger, the flames shut off and he tumbled down into the coals and singed possum bones. He gasped for air, the wind having been knocked out of him. “I’m not dead! I’m not dead!” He cheered, rolling off of the hot coals and kicking the metal door to the incinerator open. Owl lay in front of him, very much dead. A hammer was stuck in the control panel, the lights around it flickering. “Thanks Owl,” he panted, giving him a quick salute before taking off down the hall. He could hear the charges set earlier start to go off. As he ran for his life, he prayed that Liv was okay and would be waiting for him outside.

It was just like in Biotic Wars, and Josh had never run so fast in his whole life. The charges caught up to him quickly, he could feel the debris from the explosions gaining on him, hitting his back. He retraced his, Liv’s, and Wolf’s steps from earlier, running out the way they came in. He sprinted outside, greeted by the coolness of the outside air which contrasted with the heat from the explosions. Windows shattered, spraying glass everywhere as the building collapsed. Josh turned around to watch the tower crumble with one last final boom.

“I did it!” He gasped, falling to his knees and throwing both hands into the air. “I did it!” He looked around, waiting to see a certain girl come running to hug him. But he saw no girl. He saw no one. “Liv?” He called. “Liv?!” He called louder, spinning around. He turned back to the crumbled and burning building. “No. No, no, no, no, Liv! Fuck!” He scrambled to his feet, starting to run towards the rubble and damage, ready to go rake through it with his bare hands to find her. “LIV!” His lungs stopped working as a vicious lump formed in his throat, he was in utter shock and the immense feeling of grief washed over him as he realized something had happened to her. He couldn’t formulate words.

Someone grabbed the back of his shirt roughly, slapping a handcuff around his wrist. “I heard you ‘did it’, huh?” Skarsgaard. He forced Josh to his knees. “Mind if I quote you on that?” Josh let out a defeated sound, feeling a single tear roll down his cheek. “I’m assuming you’re calling for Liv ‘Pastman’ Branson, huh? We can’t find her. Shame I never got to meet her.” Skarsgaard said as Josh’s head hung in sorrow. “Sorry for your loss, but you’re going away for a long time, Futturman.”

I don’t expect anyone to understand what I’ve done. Please believe me when I tell you, I’m not the person they’re saying I am, or the person that you think I am. I’m someone else entirely. I know that sounds confusing and I wish that I could explain it. But what I know to be true is a burden I have to carry alone. Maybe not for that long or maybe for the rest of my life. All I can do, in my own way, is try to make things right. Sometimes I feel like I’ve spent my whole life pretending to be a hero, so when the time came to be one in real life, I went for it. I really did. Which is why I have to go. I love you, Mom and Dad. I’m sorry.

Gabe held the letter in shock. A check with Joosh’s entire net worth and keys to their house were also in the envelope. Gabe called out for Diane.

“Cupcake! Cupcake, we’re going home!”

One Year Later…

Alamore Asylum wasn’t so bad. Skarsgaard actually ended up being one of the sweetest men Josh had ever met, paying Josh constant visits and chess matches every week. In this timeline, Skarsgaard wasn’t a detective, he had been a parking officer, but after he traced Tiger’s steps from Stu Camillo’s house to Kronish Labs, he’d gotten a generous promotion.

The part that was torture was the fact that he was alone with his own thoughts. His imagination would run rampant with thoughts of what happened to Tiger, Wolf, and most importantly, Liv.

Josh thought about Liv every single day, he even dreamed of her every night. He dreamed of memories with her. Most times they were simply sitting back in the janitor’s closet that was their designated hang out spot back in their Kronish Labs days. It shattered his heart to wake up to find she wasn’t there. He couldn’t shake the thought of Tiger and Wolf too, wondering what became of them. It gnawed at him everyday, wondering what happened to the three of them, wondering if they all perished in the “terrorist attack” that Josh had caused.

That’s what the media called it, a “terrorist attack”, even going as far as to nickname him “Little Boy Blew”.

Skarsgaard moved his chess piece. “Check. Mate.” He smirked at Josh cockily. Josh sat on the other side of the chess board in his cell.

“Uh, I don’t think that piece moves like that.” Josh said.

Skaarsgard tilted his head and studied the board. “Oh, right. That’s the horsey.”

“No…that’s the pawn.” Josh chuckled.

Skarsgaard chuckled along with him, leaning back in his chair. “Speaking of pawns, I take it no word from your time traveling pals?” Skarsgaard had figured out about Tiger and Wolf’s dicking around in time back in the 90s when Tiger gave him a matching three slices down his other cheek to match the ones she’d given him back in ‘69.

“Oh, hey, look, I blew up that building completely on my own.” Josh lied nonchalantly. “You sat through the whole trial.” His heart ached as he lied for the millionth time, thinking of Tiger, Wolf, and Liv.

“Some friends.” Skarsgaard scoffed. “They leave you locked up while they’re free to robo-surf and hunt sport gators in a beautiful unknown future.”

Josh’s face fell slightly. “No, this is what I signed up for.” He said solemnly. He hoped that that’s what they were doing. He just hoped they were alive, but he’d never know.

“Hm.” Skarsgaard nodded, thinking over what Josh had said. “Well, I better get going. The widow Santiago’s coming over for dinner. Pretty soon her belly’s gonna be swollen with meatloaf.” He smiled.

“Vince,” Josh smirked at him. “Are you…are you sweet on her?”

“Time heals all wounds, Futturman.” Skarsgaard smiled wider. “Oh, by the way, I clipped this article for you.” He reached into the pocket of his suit coat. “Looks like your folks are putting good use to your Euros.” He handed Josh a newspaper article.

“Joosh Community Center Opens Fourteenth South American Location”.

Josh smiled, looking down at the picture of his parents surrounded by children holding toys and sports equipment. As Josh read, Skarsgaard stood up, stopping before he walked away.

“Does it ever bother you that everyone thinks you’re batshit crazy?” He asked.

“I know the truth. That’s all that matters.” Josh said.

“Reminds me of someone I used to know.” He nodded.

“Santiago?”

“Vincent Skarsgaard.” He smiled fondly at Josh. He knocked a knuckle against the glass separating them. “Next week, Future Man.” He winked and walked away.

Josh gave a small, grim smile and nodded, moving the chair he sat in back to the corner of his cell. He walked to his small bulletin board and stuck the article on it. He was proud of his parents, he wished he would have known that the last time he would have seen would’ve been in front of the police station. He never texted them that he was going to be late that night. He missed them dearly.

He sighed as he walked to his bed, laying down on it, resting his hands behind his head and staring up at the ceiling. No Biotics, no weight of the world on his shoulders. Just Josh Futturman, doomed to be alone in his asylum cell. He let his eyes close.

Behind his eyelids he saw flashing lights and heard buzzing, the same way the TTD would. Josh’s eyes shot open, unable to see a single thing through the bright, flashing lights. It was the last thing that he remembered before blacking out.

End of Book 1.

Picture the song “Don’t Look Back” by Boston playing epically

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