#{ doki doki!; heart throbs }

[pinky-in-blankets]

《 Hear me out.

Just.. Your F/o is just your unwitting pillow because I said so. Like they could be doing literally anything- working, Sleeping, Eating, Etc.

And you just.

FLOP! Your my pillow now. Whatever you were doing before idc because your comfy and I'm eepy.

.... *Snore..* 》

----

Proship/comship DNI

[mraprilfools]

BAAAABE

What do you call it when your horny to see somebody but not in the I wanna fuck you way? Like I totally wanna fuck you, I'll make your eyes roll outta your head promise. But y'know... when you want to see somebody and do stuff that... isn't sex?

MY HEART IS HORNY FOR YOU BABE!

SO FUCKING HORNY. IT'S THROBBING! DOKI DOKI OR WHATEVER THE CHINESE SAY

We'll watch movies, you can watch me shred my guitar, you can make me dinner in nothing but an apron and NOT sexual stuff. Hah, I'm so good at this dating shit. Who needs books? Losers that's who.

Miss you Honeycakessweetiepie

ADAM

Credit to @redvexillum for the banner and the idea!

Tagging @circle-of-mushrooms for being the biggest Adam fanboy I know

[waywardserpent176389053]

Natsuki's Doki Doki Panic Chapter Two

Here is the second chapter, this time with editing provided by the talented @nursepunkdreams.

Circling Darkness

At first, Natsuki could only feel the throbbing of her heart. It was hummingbird fast, uncountable, and as tentative as the slight beat of their wings.

And it hurt. God, did it hurt. As though someone had sunk several needles into her chest and her heart was being forced to contract around them.

But that wasn’t quite right. Her other senses trickled in one after another. More pain. The soft hiss of compressed air; something strapped to her face, and a scattering of smaller somethings attached to her chest. A shrill, rapid beeping…

She winced. She was in motion, for sure—whoever was driving had hit some rough road. She tensed and tried to focus on something else.

Natsuki finally opened her eyes. She recognized the interior of an ambulance right away and tried to take it all in. An intravenous line snaked into her arm, and a dozen EKG electrodes covered her naked chest. A green mask fitted around her face fogged with her every breath.

Her vision wouldn’t quite focus, no matter how much she willed it to, and her thoughts didn’t fare much better. The whats, the whys, the hows of everything—it all escaped her.

“Hey there.” The paramedic noticed her wandering eyes. He gently touched the side of her face to center her gaze on him. “You just rest, okay? You’ve been through a lot. We’ve got you.”

She wanted to demand some answers, but was distracted by someone touching her shoulder. It looked like…

“It’s okay. I’m here too,” Monika reassured her in a soft tone. She watched worriedly as the other paramedic inched his stethoscope around her chest. “You fainted in the club room… so we’re just going to the hospital for a checkup. That’s all.” She placed her hand in Natsuki’s.

The paramedic let out a short sigh when he finished his examination and replaced the instrument around his neck.

“Still tachy. ETA?” He called out to the front.

“A minute, if that.”

Natsuki allowed herself to take some relief in that. The hospital would fix everything, right?

“Ah—” Her breath caught with a particularly painful spasm of her heart. The patient monitor sounded off with a new alarm as the spasms continued, and her hopes began to wane.

“She’s throwing some strong PVCs,” the paramedic said. He looked concerned scanning the monitor’s readout. “Hanging out around 180—pulse ox is dropping…”

Natsuki didn’t understand what the words meant. She looked to Monika for context and found her looking down at her, tense with worry—even more so than before.

That couldn’t be good.

“We’re here,” Monika gently relayed the information to her with a hand on her face. “I’ll be close by, okay…?”

She barely registered what she had said. There was a bit of jostling, some fussing by some unseen hands and the voices attached to them; the panel lights flashing overhead… but all she could focus on was her heart, beating out of control. It skipped and stuttered along in double-time, threatening to give out…

Then she came to a stop. She thought she glimpsed a sign that said ‘Cardiac Care Unit’, but she didn’t have time to think about it further. Suddenly her body was aloft, and then manhandled into position on a new bed. On every side, people were a blur of activity and an indiscernible torrent of medical jargon she couldn't hope to understand.

“Hi there Natsuki, are you with us?” One of her attendants spoke loudly and clearly, but still with a reassuring lilt. She waved her hand in front of her face. “There you are. You’re at the hospital, okay? Your heartbeat is very irregular, and we need to give it a little jolt to get it back to normal…”

She continued talking, explaining, but the words faded. On her opposite side, another medic was readying a defibrillator. She’d seen them, in movies, of course—but never in real life. The heavy capacitors were placed on her chest: one under her collarbone and the other under her breast. The team stepped back, and the man holding the paddles shot her a sympathetic look.

The shock was sharp and sudden, so much so that she hardly grasped that it had happened at all. She gasped, the trace read flat, and she became hyper aware of her heart. For a second, she was able to trace every part of her rebellious cardiac organ. Every blood vessel, valve, nerve, all of it; as though she could view it in a three-dimension space…

Then the muscle contracted. Once more, blood rushed to the rest of her body. She started to hyperventilate. The sensation—the awareness—was overwhelming. The monitor continued to broadcast a rhythm that was far too rapid.

“No change—still v-tach…”

She braced for the worst. The twin capacitors settled onto her chest once more.

The second shock struck her. The muscles of her back tightened and thrust her body against the defibrillator paddles, as if trying to buck them off. Her heart clenched like a fist, the electricity forcing a contraction. She slumped back onto the bed and her heart relaxed, still for a moment, then one beat… another…

No third beat. Natsuki’s heart, tired from all it had been through, merely twitched and spasmed.

She felt like she was sinking. The action around her grew more frantic—one medic rushed forward to compress her chest, another grabbed a bag-valve mask as her breath fled her lungs in a drawn out wheeze.

Her vision frayed into darkness at its edges. She feared the worst, but…

She could still see.

A medic frantically worked her chest, caving her ribs with every shove. Another tore off her mask and replaced it with the bag valve. She squeezed the bulb fast and steady, raising her chest with each repetition. It brought an ache in her ribs to her attention, and she found herself with the wherewithal to wonder if it was broken. Having barely finished her thought, she also noticed the pain of her ordeal was rapidly subsiding.

This is so embarrassing… Natsuki thought when her head was a little clearer. She hadn’t bared her chest for anyone in recent memory, but now a whole half dozen—or more—got to behold her pathetic body. She could feel her small breasts jiggling with each thrust, and going by what parts of her body felt clothed… she was only wearing her pink panties and white socks.

Natsuki thought she might expire fully right then and there.

She was reminded of the gravity of her situation then. She was fucking dying.

No… no! Not like this! She couldn’t reconcile with it. Her life had been utterly terrible for so long—it was only just getting good. She had a nice place to live! A crush on a cute girl! And she most certainly did not deserve to die from a sudden heart attack. She still needed to graduate, start a bakery… have sex at least once—not put into a casket at the ripe old age of fucking eighteen.

The compressions stopped, and the defibrillator was placed against her once more.

Please work, Natsuki begged. The current rippled through her and arched her back. Her jaw clenched, and for a second, all she saw was light. It rapidly gave way to darkness.

The void lingered just long enough to make her think this might be it. But she realized—she could still think, and then, she heard the noises around her. They were muffled, as though coming from the next room over, but enough for her to cling to for dear life. There was an alarm—shrill, persistent; a backdrop against the desperate voices of the team working her code.

She became aware of the compressions resuming next—suddenly acutely aware of her ribs being forced down; of her sternum pushing into her heart. The weight moved the arrested muscle down, stopped only by her spine; her ribs growing more pliable and fragile by the second. Beneath her chest wall, the organ was squeezed like a rubber ball; the valves within forced open as the blood was ejected. She could feel it—the blood pushed through the hungry arteries… and could discern, somehow, that it wasn’t nearly as effective as her heart beating normally. Between each thrust, her heart would swell as the blood rushed back.

All of this, in less than a second. But time dilated beyond all meaning now. The artificial rhythm continued at pace, and Natsuki felt the cadence with exacting clarity. Her heart continued to twitch. It reminded her of a plate of gelatin being shaken.

It occurred to her then—she hadn’t really considered her cardiac health all that much. Sure, she’d been a bit worried about it recently, but she didn’t think about it as a distinct part of her. She supposed she’d abstracted it somewhat—it having took on the appearance of a classic cartoon heart in her mind's eye, rather than the complicated mass of muscle it actually was.

Natsuki tried to give herself a shake. The present moment was far more pressing than this weird little detour her mind had taken… she needed that heart to beat again.

The compressions let up and air flooded her lungs. She relished the feeling. Breathing was good…

More of that, please…

She was met with more compressions. It would have been a relaxing cycle, if not for the mortal terror of it all.

Attempting to shift her mind elsewhere, she thought of her heart again. She could feel it so clearly, after all… perhaps she could figure out what the hell was wrong with it. She imagined turning it over in her hands, looking for anything amiss.

Her mouth being forced open broke her train of thought.

Oh… that’s kind of unpleasant… she thought dreamily as the endotracheal tube was guided down her throat. She wanted to gag, but didn’t, and when air came again at last, it inflated her lungs even more than before.

Alright, tube… I forgive you, Natsuki thought, still dazed. She allowed herself to luxuriate in the newfound oxygen and expected the cycle to resume, but it didn’t—instead of the hands ramming her heart, she felt two familiar weights against her chest.

Natsuki steeled herself as best she could.

Please, shocky things… please work—

The defibrillation forced her eyes open for a moment. Her heart, as with every shock before, locked up and ceased its twitching. She could see her chest arching against the paddles; the large, ugly bruise that had settled between her breasts; the breathing tube taped in place at her lips, and the many medics desperately trying to save her.

Maybe she was imagining things, but… she thought they didn’t look particularly hopeful. Her organ had stilled. There was an agonal contraction after a long pause, and then it started quivering again.

Natsuki groaned. The shock had hurt like hell. And not only that, but it had failed to revive her. At the very least… the pain was evidence she was still alive. It had to be. She tried to recenter herself, but—

They must have increased the voltage. The electricity snaked through her muscles, pulling each one taut as the current leaped from one paddle to the other. Her spine bowed and her heart seized with the current. She could trace the individual nerves of the organ as they fired all at once, the muscles at their end squeezing with as much strength as they could spare. Then—as before—it relaxed and returned to spasming.

Natsuki was getting a little frustrated now. Weren’t they supposed to call out ‘clear’ or something? A little more warning would be nice…

The compressions returned, and she began to riddle over her fibrillating organ once more. There must be an issue with her nerves—they were still sending out signals, but not the right ones. That must be why her heart was shaking instead of contracting. She traced her own cardiac nerves, trying to find which ones weren’t working, not sure what she would do if she found the right one…

The paddles were placed around her heart again.

Okay… gotta focus, she thought, with newfound determination. When the shock comes, I gotta force that nerve to—

The defibrillation rocked her body. Her heart contracted; its electrical signals scrambled. Natsuki traced the current…

There!

At the top of her heart, there was an entire cluster of nerves firing all at once from the external current. One of those nerves stood out to her, and even though she couldn’t tell how… she knew that was the one.

The charge dissipated, and her heart fell still. It stayed still.

The sinking feeling from earlier came back tenfold and Natsuki fought hard to keep her head above water. She was suddenly so cold, and the sounds from outside grew ever indistinct. She could only just barely make out the team’s voices…

“Asystole…!” One attendant shouted.

“Losing her!” She heard another cry.

The sensation of the chest compressions returned to her, but numb and distant.

Her life flashed before her eyes. Memories from the early days, when her mom was still around… those fleeting peaceful moment between the shouting matches and slamming doors. She hadn’t taken Natsuki with her, when she left—and she’d always blamed herself for that.

She was a pitiful child, after all. There were the years where she barely had any friends—thin and destitute, scrounging around for whatever food that man left for her—never enough to fill her. She was reminded of learning to bake, so she wouldn’t starve over summer break, and the comics she gorged herself on to give her any sense of hope.

More recent images flashed before her. Like joining the Literature Club and meeting all of her new friends.

That man being arrested, freeing her at last.

Planning for college. Baking new things—not for survival, but for fun.

All of it so recent. And so, so short.

Natsuki suddenly saw that all she would amount to would be a girl who never got the chance to really live—who got only the smallest taste of a good life before it was cruelly snatched away.

The darkness boiled around her; the cold threatening to consume her.

No!

She was not going to die!

Natsuki desperately thrashed against the death that surrounded her. She could still feel her body—the chest compressions, the air pumped to her lungs; the faint sounds of the efforts to revive her. She pushed upward, as if swimming towards the surface of an endless lake.

Natsuki had spent years reading manga. She tended toward slice of life and comedy—stories of girls just hanging out and having a good time, but she had read a bit of everything. Horror, romance, erotica, dramas, sometimes even action/adventure, if she was feeling a bit bored of her usual fare.

She envisioned herself as the protagonists of one of these adventures. Downtrodden, bloody—but standing up and defying the odds nonetheless. The second wind was coming.

She was going to survive this.

In her mind’s eye, she wrestled with her heart; begged it function. She pleaded and coaxed, and then, she was overwhelmed by an awful, acidic burning sensation in her veins. It moved closer to her heart with each press on her sternum, and she felt sick about it, but she knew it was likely the doctors still trying to save her and tolerated it as best she could.

The drugs soon arrived at her cardiac center. Nerves, once quiet, began to fire again. Slowly at first, then swiftly gaining speed—before long, the muscles attached returned to their unconditioned shaking.

Yes! Natsuki reveled in her triumph, even though it was largely the drugs that had done the heavy lifting.

Come on! Hit me again, shocky things!

As though the team could hear her, the weights of the paddles were promptly settled onto her chest again. Natsuki readied herself, but her timing was off. The fibrillation continued, and she prepared for the next jolt.

Three, two, one…

Another current rolled through her and she rode along it, pouring every ounce of her will into forcing her heart to beat once more. The cardiac muscles tightened, then relaxed, then remained still.

The darkness swirled around her. Natsuki clung to the light.

That was supposed to work, damn it!

Time was dilating again, and the creeping coldness settling in was fogging her mind. The distance between the compressions and voices stretched on further and further, as though she were adrift at sea, being pulled further and further away by the unforgiving yet undeniably gentle tide…

She felt more acidic drugs pouring into her veins and thought—for a scant moment—that her heart would react and start spasming again. But the organ did not respond. The voices of the medics cut in and out, hazy; painfully indistinct. Despite her senses failing, she still picked up the droning cry of the monitor, a flatline certainly running across it. In her altered state, it signaled to her that there was some great, terrible predator stalking around her, waiting to take her into dissolution.

My name… she thought desperately. It’s… my name is Natsuki. I like good manga, cute things… and baking! She tightened her focus. And… I love my friends, Monika, Sayori, and Yuri. God, Yuri… if I live for anyone, it’ll be for you!

She held onto this thought loop for dear life. A shield against the tide, against the cold, against the predator stalking near… if she could just hold onto herself… her friends…

Something changed. It was hard for her to focus on other things, but this was different. The compressions had stopped, but her heart wasn’t twitching. The asystole alarm continued, although distorted, as if she was hearing it underwater.

Oh… they gave up… she thought, despondent.

After all that, despite everything, her time was up.

The immense void moved in.

Yuri…!

She was numb, completely and utterly, but… there was no doubting it. She was being cut open. She struggled to remember why that might be happening.

Was she… dead? Was this a morgue; an autopsy? Something cold forced her ribs apart, snapping them like twigs.

That hurt. That hurt!

She remembered the names of her beloved friends and focused on the pain.

If I can still feel pain… then I must be… still alive…

Something new invaded her chest. They wrapped around her heart and squeezed. Hands, maybe. Blood shot through her arteries.

Natsuki rallied.

They haven’t given up! They’re still trying!

Her mind was scattered, but she tried to focus. She centered her attention on her stubborn heart.

Come on… work! Do something!

More drugs. It all felt so terrible, but she grit her teeth and didn’t dare break her focus.

A flutter. Then another, then her whole heart was thick with fibrillation once more. She could feel it so clearly; it was injured, weakened from its ordeal. The repeated shocks, the drugs, the lack of oxygen… and something deeper.

Some small thing that had always been there.

Natsuki lacked the vocabulary for it, but she knew, more than anything, it was the root cause. It wasn’t her nerves misfiring for seemingly no reason—it was this. This little thing she didn’t have a name for.

This flaw.

Small metal discs were placed against her heart.

Mini shocky things… she thought hazily. She knew she didn’t have much fight left. The creature stalked, just outside her perception, she knew—waiting for her to slip up.

Wait for the right—

Her heart was the sun as the charge smashed into it. Even though the capacitors were smaller, it was many, many times more intense.

Natsuki shook it off and readied herself. Her heart continued to shake meaninglessly.

Heh… rule of threes, she thought wryly. It’s now or never…!

The third hit. As her nerves sparked and fired; as the cardiac muscles clinched; as blood sloshed forward from the artificial beat—Natsuki took hold of one thought and bent all her will towards its success. She screamed it, howled it, bellowed it:

BEAT!!!

The heart relaxed as the charge dissipated. It was still.

Then, a nerve fired. Others followed. The muscle contracted—dared to contract.

And again. Then it stumbled, but caught itself.

Ba-dup… ba-dup… ba-dup…

If she could, Natsuki would have collapsed out of sheer relief.

She’d lived. She’d fucking lived.

She knew that her heart was still in poor shape; that she wasn’t out of the woods just yet. But that didn’t matter.

For now, she was alive. The rest could come later.

A new darkness rose around her, a friendlier one—a blanket of simple unconsciousness. She took the offer; she was exhausted in her bones. Her friends' faces rushed past her; she’d kept them. Held on so tight. Let them guide her back to the world of the living.

“I’ll see you soon, okay…?” she murmured, too quiet and indistinct for anyone to hear.

Her heart continued to beat. It was battered… and Natsuki knew, deep down, than it wouldn’t last much longer in the grand scheme of things. But for now, it would fulfill its function. Softly, as if exhausted itself, it beat.

And Natsuki lived.

[l1tw1ck]

Your Poem

bottom ftm yandere zhongli x top m reader

↳ [Part Two] ↳ [Part Three]

CW: Masturbation, AFAB language

Zhongli is so in love with you that he changes all his classes to be in yours, even resorting to "lowering the roster" to get in if the class was full. He made sure to have you in one literature class though, can't let his love be unknown to the wonders of language.

You have trouble focusing in your classes because you can feel him burning a hole in you with his gaze. You can't blame him though, he just can't help but look at you when you look so attractive and rideable every day :(

In your literature class, you were assigned to write poems with a partner. Zhongli had already found the list the professor made and altered it so the two of you could work together. He suggested writing a love poem, as he's a 'romantic' and you agreed. Zhongli had wrote his about you while you wrote about a non existent person. He deluded himself into thinking it was about him, the mere thought of you writing a love poem about him made his heart race and his cunt throb.

He stole your poem and brought it back with him, he was thankful that his roommate wasn't home as he had very perverse plans.

Zhongli leans back into the bed frame, moaning your name like a slut while he rubs his clit, thinking of when you read the poem aloud to him. How sexy your voice was as you "serenaded him" with your words. He has the paper set up in front of him to lean against a chair so he could read it over and over, he already has it burned in his memories but he loves seeing your handwriting (even if you think it's bad).

"[Name], [Name], [Name]~!" He chants your name like it's going out of style, voice increasing in pitch as he feels himself going over the edge. Zhongli comes with a whine, squirting all over your poem.

Maybe he'll give it back to you like that ♡

100% unintentionally inspired by doki doki literature club but i'll embrace it 😭 (if you've played the game, you miight be able to guess what part two is gonna be)

[utanonicolechan]

KIR☆MEKI EMOTION (Uta no Prince-Sama Live Emotion) Lyrics TL! + Do Read Notes!!

|| Hi, so this is my first time writing out lyrics TL with the help of jisho and translator **COUGHS** also my Japanese skills T-T sorry if it is kinda stiff!! I hope it is alright, and might make some edits from time to time!!

If you do have some money around, please do buy the CDs! Look at me, I bought two HE★VENS jacket CD due to me not getting my oshi card T-T

Also sorry if the lyrics are like..far away from the original one(?) I am intending to write the translation like that so it will fit if you sing along the English version! ||

|| Lyrics are from the CD booklet! Also, sorry! I don't know how to color code on Tumblr :( ||

︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵

Kira☆meki Emotion

︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵︵

人生はミュージック（Music ! ) Our life is a Music (Music!) 大切なラブソング（Love song !) Such a precious love song (Love song!) 繋ぎ合うシェイクハンド（Shake hand ! ) Let’s connect by shake hand (Shake hand!) ずっと離さない I won’t ever let you go! 君の為に歌うよ愛を込めて I’m singing this song for your sake and it is filled with my love 世界中に☆(ほし)よ輝け Let us shine the stars all over the world KIR☆MEKI (SPARKLING) EMOTION ⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉ (REN) 最高のステージは夢じゃなく現実にある The best stage isn’t a mere dream but it’s the reality we have to face (MASATO) 未体験のDEEP ZONEに飛び込んだあの感覚 That nervous feeling of jumping into the unexperienced DEEP ZONE  (NATSUKI) Waku x2 越えて Surpassing the feeling of excitement (SYO) Doki x2 以上!? More than your heart throbs?! (NATSUKI) ハマっちゃいましょ Let’s get hooked onto it! (SYO) 超絶LIVE A Transcending LIVE (NATSUKI-SYO) 重ねるほど熱くなるから The more you repeat it the passionate it will become (OTOYA) 幸せを見える形へと Getting into the form where you can see happiness (TOKIYA) 自分次第で変わる飛べる Future Depends on you, you can change your Future (TOKIYA) いつだって待っているから I will always wait for you all the time (OTOYA) ときめく煌めく Paradise Throbbing and sparkling Paradise (CECIL) 心から楽しむだけこの時間を This is the time where you can enjoy from the bottom of your heart (OTOYA-MASATO-NATSUKI) さあ行くんだみんなの待つ丘へ So, let’s go to the height where everyone’s waiting (TOKIYA-REN-SYO-CECIL) いっせーの！で声を空へと高く！！ Ready, set, go, and raise your voice onto the sky! 叫ぼうよレッツスタート（Let's start) Let us shout let’s start! (Let’s start!) らしくあれマイソング（My song) Just be yourself my song (My song) 伝えようハッピー（Happy) Let’s convey it Happy (Happy) 笑顔をあげるよ Giving you the brightest smile いっちゃえJump ! 頂点を目指す旅は Go for it, Jump! Aim for the journey towards the peak 終わりのない勇気の歌だ The song of courage that is never-ending KIR☆MEKI (SP☆RKLING) EMOTION ⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉ (REN) 初めて出会った時の衝撃を覚えてるかい？ Do you still remember the impact that happened when we first met each other? (MASATO) 未経験のRED ZONEに振り切った夢の出会い Having a dream that makes me want to break from the inexperienced RED ZONE (NATSUKI) きゅんとしたでしょ？ Do you feel your heart skipping a beat? (SYO) だけど更なる But furthermore (NATSUKI) その1000倍の That 1000 times (SYO) きゅんをGive you Give you your heart skipping a beat (NATSUKI-SYO) 一緒にいるよどんなときでも Let’s be together at any time right now (OTOYA) 照らしたい君との道(ﾛｰﾄﾞ)を Showing you the road where I want you to shine (TOKIYA) 闇を裂く光になると I swear As you become the light that separates the darkness I swear (TOKIYA) 立ち止まり涙しても Even if you stop for a while and cry your heart out (OTOYA) いつでも、いつも、いつまでも  I promise always, always, even until the end (Cecil) 側にいて共に今日を歩いてこう I'll always be by your side and walk through this day with you (Otoya-Masato-Natsuki) 分け合おう辛いことも全部 Come on just share all of this painful feelings with me (Tokiya-Ren-Syo-Cecil) 過ぎ行くこの時をLOVEへと変えて And turning this passing time into the feeling of LOVE 打ち鳴らせハートビート（Heart beat) Let us resound Heart beat (Heart beat) 響き舞えトゥルーソング（True song) Echoing and dancing True song (true song) 信じようドリーミング（Dreamin') Just believe it Dreamin’ (Dreamin’) こんなに生きてる Let’s live our life like this 今こそJump ! 一人じゃないって誓うよ Right now Jump! I swear you aren’t walking alone! Forever x2 君が大好き Forever x2 I love you always KIR☆MEKI (SP☆RKLING) EMOTION ⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉ (CECIL) 足りないものだらけで Even if things aren’t enough for me  (SYO) 大丈夫 It will be alright (REN) 自分の色だけ Never ever you even forget (TOKIYA) 忘れずにいよう your personal color (NATSUKI) どんな色だって Whatever the color you are  (MASATO) 虹の一部に It's a part of a rainbow (OTOYA) いつでも俺たちのことを Until whenever I hope you feel the love from 感じられる All of us ⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉⑉ 人生はミュージック（Music ! ) Our life is a Music (Music!) 大切なラブソング（Love song !) Such a precious love song (Love song!) 繋ぎ合うシェイクハンド（Shake hand ! ) Let’s connect by shake hand (Shake hand!) ずっと離さない I won’t ever let you go! やっちゃえJump ! 夢は夢じゃないんだよ Just go for it Jump! Because your dream isn't ordinary! 世界中に☆(ほし)よ輝け Let us shine the stars all over the world KIR☆MEKI (SP☆RKLING) EMOTION

[nobbykun]

Artist - 岩井小百合 (Iwai, Sayuri) Song - ドキドキ♥のバースデイ･パーティー (Doki Doki Heart No Birthday Party) [Eng. "Birthday Party With A Throbbing Heart"] Release Date - March 1983

Listen 🎶

https://rumble.com/v2tnzdy-sayuri-iwai-doki-doki-heart-no-birthday-party.html

My blog: Showa Music Library https://nobbykun.tumblr.com/

[limerental]

Ok spoilery initial reaction to s3 vol 2 under the cut okie dokie

The good:

some moments made me go WAHHHH aloud. frinfran supporting each other... every scene with them tbh made me insane. Cahir and fringilla reunion... they love each other.... the visuals in the cahir and ciri scene were spot on he's just a little guy. Uhhhh I forget what else. MILVAAAAAAAAA. women. Rats!!!! Tissaia's final scene/line I had to stand up and yell and cwy a little. Vilgefortz had his whole vilgussy out and he blew geralts back out with his huge throbbing staff amen.

The bad:

It wasn't very well-written plot-wise lol

A lot of stuff just... happens and a lot of characters make decisions based on ??? and they could have avoided everything that happened pretty easily. Travel and information goes around WAY too easily sometimes and not other times? Yennefer just jogging back into the battle, Ciri just jogging right into Tor Lara from the convenient beachfront entrance, Geralt standing there like 🧍‍♂️while ciri and cahir fight.

Not to do a "not like the books" comparison (that ship has sailed) but the tension during the Thanned coup in Time of Contempt is entirely in the sheer chaos of battle, making choices trying to escape and stay alive that have consequences, and ultimately everybody ending up permanently separated because of those places being the only place they can go in those circumstances. Book Ciri runs into Tor Lara because she can't go anywhere else. Book Geralt fights Vilgefortz trying to get to her, not fully knowing where she is. (I'm not as grumpy about Book vs Show yennefer changes but yeah by s3 I can 100% say they are vastly different characters.)

Other stuff I didn't like: redacting the entire war plot in boring ways and excluding the other kings. Having Dijkstra know that Phil killed Vizimir that's sooooo that's got me sooooooo. Yen being overly involved at Aretuza and presumably establishing the initial lodge instead of Phil? A bizarre choice. The coup in general being a last minute decision instead of planned in advance. (Like they had time to do arts and crafts with arm bands when did they do that? Phil hosted an orgy post banquet and was like hey girlies let's gossip about vilgefortz BTW he's evil)

Anyway. I forget what else. The main takeaway is the same thoughts I've had about twn for a while. The character moments are SO good and there are many character relationships that reach right into my heart and stab me and make me want to explode and have me spiraling into varying thoughts about them. And the plot writing is just bad and contrived lmao it's just not good.

Nothing was so egregiously bad that I won't watch s4 though I mean. When the character moments are good, they're very very good, and most of the actors are also insanely good (and hot).

[taperecorder-gizmo-the-second]

FUCKING START WORSHIPPING "DOKI DOKI SHINIGAMI MARLON KUN"

"HEART THROBBING GRIM REAPER MARLON"

fucking christ i need to draw this

some moe moe reaper sheep

[pinky-in-blankets]

The Nutcracker Tin Soldier and the Snowfairy Ballerina ----

TADC Carnival!Au & Carnival!Jax belongs to @sm-baby

[ecstasydemon]

he.....

[nastybuckybarnes]

Deep End  -  Six

Pairing: Dark!Steve Rogers X Reader

Summary: He’s back. After all your best efforts at getting away, he’s found you again. And this time, he’s not letting you go so easily. He’s determined to do whatever it takes to get you to be his. Forever.

Warnings: Dark Themes, Language, Angst, Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 4.6K

A/n: Okie dokie! I’ve got an epilogue planned but I like this. The epilogue will explain shit better but I've known that this would be the end since pretty much the beginning LMAO

Deep End Masterlist

THIS IS A DARK FIC WITH SEXUAL AND TRIGGERING CONTENT!!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

~*~

When Steve hears you stop struggling, stop fighting and stop crying, he’s nervous.

It’s been a while since he locked you up there, and he really should check on you soon, if only to make sure the baby’s okay after that stunt you pulled.

He pushes the door to the bedroom open, eyeing your figure carefully.

You look like you’re asleep. If he wasn't so attuned to your body, your heart and your breathing, he wouldn’t have noticed something’s wrong.

Your heart is beating rapidly, far faster than normal. And it’s weaker than usual.

Your breathing is shallow and strained, and your face is lacking its usual healthy glow.

He rushes to your side, tearing the rope from your wrists and touching your face carefully.

Your skin is hot to the touch, and he feels fear settle in his gut.

He doesn’t know what to do, how to help. He’s never really had to help you like this, the doctor’s always been nearby.

He grabs his phone, calling the doctor and pacing nervously.

“Sh-she’s burning up and her breathing is shallow.”

Steve's stomach drops as he listens to the doctor’s instructions, answers his questions and comes to the realization of why you’re like this.

He rolls you onto your left side, tears welling up in his eyes at how unresponsive you are.

The doctor hangs up after telling the super soldier that he’ll be there soon.

His heart is in his throat as he tries to undo the damage of his punishment, putting the evidence back in the box and kicking the rope under the bed.

You’re still unresponsive, heart weak, but your breath sounds a little less strained.

Monster. That’s what you called him. What Natasha called him and what Bucky’s asset called him.

Maybe you’re right.

But he wants you. He needs you. Giving you up would be giving up a piece of his soul and he’s not ready to do that yet.

~*~

The doctor informs him that both you and the baby are okay, but being on your back for so long was compressing a major vein supplying your baby with oxygenated blood. If he’d gotten there any later it might’ve been too late.

With strict instructions to keep you on your left side and make sure you stay hydrated, the doctor takes his leave.

He stays by your side, holding your hand tightly in both of his as he really comes to terms with the fact that it was entirely his fault. He almost killed you and your baby to prove a stupid point. To discourage you from doing the very same thing.

His heart is heavy in his chest as he listens to your heartbeat get stronger, to the baby’s heartbeat continue fluttering like a hummingbird’s.

Those two sounds bring him peace, if only temporarily.

Shattering his peace is the sound of the front door opening, followed by tiny little footsteps clomping up the stairs.

“Mommy! Mommy!”

Sarah.

Steve shoves himself to his feet and quickly leaves the room just as his daughter tries to enter.

“Sarah, mommy’s sleeping.” She frowns up at him and shakes her little blonde head.

“I need to talk to mommy!”

She walks around his legs only for him to scoop her up in his arms.

“She’s sleeping right now, honey.”

Sarah shakes her head angrily, beating her tiny fists against his shoulders.

“Let me go! I want mommy! Mommy!! Put me down!” She starts shrieking. Full-on screaming bloody murder right in his ear, and he loses his grip on the wriggling child.

She slides out of his arms and runs into the bedroom, climbing onto the bed and shaking your shoulder.

“Mommy?” She’s got little tears on her face, and they don’t cease when you don’t wake up.

“Why won’t mommy wake up?!” She looks up at Steve with terror written on her face and it shatters his heart in his chest.

“Sarah, mommy’s sick, okay? I had the doctor come over and he said that she needs to rest and when she wakes up we’re gonna need to make sure she’s got plenty of water, okay?”

Sarah’s big blue eyes are filled with tears and she shakes her head.

“I want mommy!”

She clings to your torso, crying against your shoulder in fear.

“Sarah, honey, mommy’s gonna be okay. You just gotta give her some space, okay? How about I set up a movie for you?” Sarah sniffles and slowly pulls away from you, looking at her father and shaking her head again.

“I want mommy! I hate you!”

Steve then realizes just how crucial you are. How important you are, not only to him but to his daughter as well.

Losing you would hurt so many people.

“Honey, you gotta give mommy and I some space, okay?”

He picks up the five-year-old, despite her quite literally kicking and screaming, and sets her down outside the bedroom.

He shuts the door quickly and locks it even faster.

Sarah stands outside, wailing her head off and pounding on the door with her tiny little fists.

She cries for you, over and over again, and it breaks Steve’s heart.

He’s brought back to what you said about him. About how this isn’t love.

He sits down at your side again, trying desperately to drown out the sound of his daughter crying outside as his thoughts overwhelm him.

He hasn’t been the nicest to you, that he’ll openly admit, and he makes mistakes probably more often than he doesn’t. But he loves you. He needs you.

Tears well up in his eyes and he lets out a shuddering breath.

He’ll make this right. He has to. Sarah deserves a mother, so does your unborn baby. And -though he may not deserve you- he needs you. The monster will be hard to fight, but losing you will be harder.

The damage he’s done might be irreversible, but he’s gonna do what he can to make things right, to give you a better life.

You don’t wake up for a few hours, but when you do you’re confused.

Your back aches and you feel a little dizzy as you remember what happened, how you got here.

Steve watches as you regain consciousness, confusion pulling your brows together before you slowly open your eyes.

“How’re you feeling?” He asks softly, rubbing his thumb across your knuckles soothingly.

You look up at him then drop your gaze to your belly, bringing your free hand down to rub it gently.

“Am I... are we okay?” He nods gently, tears in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, (Y/n). I was... I don’t know, trying to teach you a lesson. And all that did was hurt you. Hurt the baby. I wanted to show you that trying to hurt yourself and hurt the baby wouldn’t fly, but I ended up doing far more damage.”

You swallow hard and struggle to push yourself into a seated position, wincing at the throb in your head.

“The doctor said that you shouldn’t move too much, and try to stay on your left side when you sleep. I-I didn't know that sleeping on your back was bad.”

You take a deep breath and look up at him, waiting for the anger to take hold in his eyes but it never does.

“I’m sorry for hurting you. For scaring you and not trusting you. I... I lost you for so many years and now I have you back and... I don’t wanna lose you again. But everything I do to try and keep you close, make you mine... all it does is push you further away and I’m sorry.”

His apology takes you by surprise, and you eye him skeptically.

How are you supposed to know if he’s telling the truth?

He drags one of his hands down his face and for a moment you can truly see just how old Steve Rogers is.

The exhaustion of carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders finally shows in the lines near his eyes, the bags beneath them. But what really displays his age is his eyes. They’re so full of trauma and pain and weariness.

For the first time since waking up from the ice, Steve Rogers looks his age.

“I-I’m sorry, too,” you whisper, surprising him.

“I didn’t... I wasn’t thinking. I just... I wanted to punish you for what happened to Natasha. What you did. I wanted you to hurt but I just ended up hurting myself in the process.” You look down at your hands, trying to figure out how you want to phrase what you have to say.

“People argue, Steve. But what you do... it’s beyond that. We’re not... there are so many things wrong with what’s happening between us, what’s happened already, but I can’t leave. Sarah’s too attached and all I want for my little girl is to have a happy life. To have the happiness that was torn from me.”

Guilt settles on his chest, but he lets you continue speaking.

“I want my daughter to have a good life. I don’t want her to be afraid of-of people. The way I am. She loves you, and I know... I think you love her. You haven’t hurt her yet, and I hope it stays that way because at the rate we’re going, I'm not sure how much longer I’ll be able to do this.”

The pure fatigue on your face is more than enough explanation, but the idea of losing you is too much for him to bear.

“No, don’t say that. I’m gonna get better, okay? We-we were happy once. And we can do it again. I’ll be gentle and patient. I just... I need you, (Y/n). I need you a lot and the fact that you have such a tight hold over my every thought makes me angry. But I’m not gonna take it out on you anymore, okay?”

You let out a deep breath and eye him carefully.

“You’ve said that before.”

He thinks back to the time you spent in that cabin in the woods, where you turned his friends against him.

He has said that before, and look at where he is now.

“This time it’ll be different.”

You don’t have the energy to fight him. So if he’s gonna try, fine.

“Where’s Sarah?” You ask, hoping she’s still safely out with Morgan.

Steve’s face falls again and he stands up and opens the door to your bedroom.

Sarah sits crumpled in a ball, her cheeks covered in tears.

“Mommy!” She all but screams the word, launching to her feet.

Steve tries to take her hand but she yanks it away from him, shooting him a glare then running to the bed and climbing up beside you.

Your heart breaks when you see how sad she looks, and you hug her to your chest.

“It’s okay, baby. Mommy’s okay.” She sniffles and climbs onto your lap, climbing to you like her life depends on it.

You wonder what happened while you were unconscious, what Steve did to upset her so much, and your mind immediately goes to the worst.

You look at the man, your thoughts written plainly across your face, but he quickly shakes his head.

“No. I just told her she couldn’t come in. Not ‘till you woke up. She uh... she stayed right outside the door.”

You soothe your daughter, rocking her as much as you can manage with the pain rolling down your spine.

“It’s okay, baby. Mommy’s okay. Everything’s okay.” You hold her close to you, trying to calm her down while Steve looks on helplessly.

Although his daughter loves him, loves being here with him, nothing can compare to the bond that the two of you have.

The monster in him hates it. Hates that he’s not as close to his own daughter, blames you for it. But he pushes that part of himself down.

He made a promise. And this time he’s not gonna break it.

~

"Are you sure you’re okay with it?” He asks for the thousandth time.

You only shrug, fixing your hair in the mirror as the doorbell rings.

“It’s a little too late now, Steve. Besides, I don’t really care. Sarah’s gonna have fun and that’s all that matters.”

Your daughter took a few days to warm up to Steve again, but now that she has he’s not gonna risk anything changing that.

He takes one last look at you, at how pretty you look in your blue sundress, then leans forward and kisses your cheek.

“I love you, (Y/n). I can send them away.”

You take a deep breath and shake your head.

“Sarah’s excited. Besides, I wanna know what we’re having.”

You plaster on a forced smile and it breaks his heart, but he turns and heads downstairs to greet the guests.

Ever since you got hurt, he’s been nicer. Far gentler than he's ever been with you, and you’re not complaining.

Steve has the potential to be a good person, that much is obvious, but he chooses not to.

He hasn’t hurt you again, or even yelled at you. No, he’s been patient and understanding and it’s such a sharp contrast from who he was before.

You can hear him greeting the guests warmly, chatting on and on about this and that and whatever else.

Taking a deep breath to prepare yourself, you leave the faux safety of the bedroom and head down the stairs, smiling at your guests.

People that you’ve never seen before are in your house. Well, that’s not true. You’ve seen them on TV.

The Avengers are in your living room and kitchen, talking softly amongst themselves.

In the presence of these superheroes, you feel small. Weak. And you can’t fight the urge to find Steve as anxiety crawls up your spine.

He’s in the kitchen, talking animatedly with Tony Stark and Sam Wilson. Iron Man and Falcon.

He looks so at ease, his face split open with a laidback grin.

Sam’s eyes find yours and he says something to Steve, making the blond turn to you with a soft smile.

He waves you over and you obey, one hand resting delicately on your bump.

“Sam, Tony, this is my (Y/n). (Y/n), Sam and Tony.” You nod politely at them, sliding your clammy hand into Steve's nervously.

You haven’t been around this many people in a very long time.

“It’s nice to finally meet the woman who’s got Captain America so hooked! All he does is talk about you,” Sam says, a grin on his face.

You smile at him, looking up at Steve.

He nods encouragingly, smoothing his thumb over your knuckles to try and ease your anxiety.

“It’s nice to meet you, too. I, uh, I’ve heard a lot about you. About both of you.” Tony smiles looking down as someone tugs on his pant leg.

“Can I have a sleepover at Sarah’s house?!” Morgan asks excitedly, her little face full of glee.

“You’re gonna need to go ask your mother. You know she makes all the decisions.”

Tony’s gaze lifts to yours when his daughter runs to find her mom.

“Is it alright if she sleeps over tonight?”

Steve nods then looks at you.

“You alright with that?”

You’re not sure if it’s a real choice or a test, but you don’t want to find out.

“Of course. She’s always welcome here.”

Tony nods with a smile, then resumes whatever conversation they were having before you showed up.

You tune out what they’re saying, carefully rubbing over your stomach and poking at your baby whenever they decide to kick you.

“(Y/n)? Did you wanna help me set the food up outside?” Pepper’s voice breaks you from your trance, her hand coming to rest softly on your shoulder.

You look up at Steve, silently asking for permission, but he just leans down and presses a soft kiss to your lips and lets go of your hand.

You follow Pepper, setting up the table in the backyard silently for a while before she clears her throat.

“How are you feeling, (Y/n)? Sarah told us you were sick.”

You swallow hard and give her a tight smile.

“I’m feeling better. Tired all the time but this little devil is to blame for that.” You poke your belly only to be met with another kick.

Pepper nods, smiling at you.

“Are you excited?”

That question throws you for a loop.

Are you? Are you excited to have another baby?

You’re excited for Sarah to have a sibling. Excited to get to hold your baby and love your baby. But the reason why you’re having the baby in the first place? The father of your baby? No.

“Yeah, I am. A little nervous, too.”

She sits down by your garden, patting the seat next to her.

“You look tired, (Y/n). More tired than a mother should be. You’re wearing yourself thin.” You keep your lips sealed, not wanting to say anything that might make Steve mad.

She sighs and sets a gentle hand on your knee.

“I don’t know what your... relationship is with Steve, but I know you’re unhappy. He’s a good guy, deep down. But you need to take care of yourself, okay? Don’t work yourself to the breaking point because it’ll be even harder to build yourself back up. Especially with a brand new baby.”

You let out a shuddering breath and nod.

“It’s just hard. I’m trying but... it’s hard.”

As you talk softly with Pepper, Steve observes the two of you.

You look so sad, so defeated. He hates that he made you look like that.

“She’s unhappy, Steve.”

He turns to the voice, eyebrows raising.

“Wanda. I didn’t know if you’d make it.” He pulls her into a hug. “I heard about what happened in Westview... Wanda, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”

She sighs, pulling away with a sad smile.

“No. But I will be.” Her eyes travel back over to you for a moment, feeling the pain and the sorrow in your soul.

“Do you think she’ll ever be happy here? With me?” Wanda sighs, crossing her arms over her chest and closing her eyes, feeling your thoughts, your energy.

“It’s hard to tell. Right now she’s so... numb. Nothing but sadness and... hopelessness. Her spirit is crushed, Steve.” She reopens her eyes and turns to the blond.

“You can’t keep her here like this. It’s only a matter of time before she gets fed up and tries to do something drastic. Again.”

Steve knows. He fucking knows that. But he doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do to lift your spirits.

He's given you more freedom, let you make more decisions for yourself. He’s been gentler with you, hasn't forced himself on you.

Not forcing himself on you isn’t something to gloat about, but given the history between the two of you, it’s something fairly major.

He just wants to keep you in his life. He needs to keep you in his life.

He turns to the young woman beside him, a thought bubbling into his mind.

“Could you... do something to make her happy? Make her enjoy her life here? Make her love me again?”

Wanda’s mouth curves down as she looks at you, watches you play with your daughter and Morgan.

“Steve, it’s not right.”

The blond lets out a pained breath, shaking his head desperately.

“I just want happiness, Wanda. Don’t I deserve it? Haven’t I suffered enough to deserve a happy ending?”

Wanda’s eyes glow red with sorrow as she’s reminded of her own happy ending that she had to give up.

She takes his hand and gives it a squeeze, dropping her gaze for a moment before looking over at his desperate blue eyes.

“We don’t always get what we deserve. It’s hard and it hurts, but we can't control everything. And at some point, we need to let go. No matter how hard it is or how much it hurts. We can’t hurt other people because of what we think we deserve.”

They both look back over to you, your own eyes already on the pair, but dropping as soon as you see them turn to you.

“I’m sorry, Steve. I can’t do that.”

Tears stab at his eyes and he huffs out a breath through his nose, turning on his heel and walking away from the party, from his friends.

His abrupt departure catches the attention of a few people, yourself included. Before you can get up and see what’s going on, Bucky’s on his feet and heading into the house.

The woman Steve was talking to makes her way over to you, smiling gently.

“Hi (Y/n). I’m Wanda.” You smile at her, eyes darting towards where Steve disappeared from then back to her.

Bucky re-emerges only a few moments later, shaking his head at Natasha when she gives him a quizzical look.

You turn to Wanda with a strained smile.

“Could you just watch Sarah for a minute? And make sure she has something to eat? The foods ready.” She nods, watching with sad eyes as you walk back into the house to see what’s wrong with Steve.

“Steve?” You call softly, looking around for him only to find him sitting on the couch in the living room, his face in his hands.

“Why can’t I have what I want?” His question catches you off guard and you move to stand in front of him.

He shakes his head sadly, pulling his hands off of his face to grab yours, holding them tightly.

His lips brush over your knuckles gently, before he presses the back of your hands against his forehead, dropping his gaze to the floor.

“This isn’t right.”

Your heart races in your chest, stomach tying in knots as you try to figure out what he’s talking about.

“What are you talking about? Is everything okay? Did... did I do something wrong?” Maybe you shouldn’t have talked to Pepper earlier. Maybe you should’ve just stayed quiet and smiled.

“I can’t keep you here.”

One sentence. Five words. Sixteen letters.

That’s all it takes to have your heart stuttering.

“What... what do you mean you can’t keep me here?” You try your hardest not to let your hopes get too high. Maybe he’s going to kill you. Maybe that’s what it is. It’s certainly something more up his alley than... the alternative.

He slowly raises his head, teary red eyes staring up into yours. 

“You know what I mean.”

You shake your head, needing to hear him say it himself.

“What are you saying, Steve?”

He lets out a heavy sigh and closes his eyes, the words hurting him but he needs to say them.

“You're free to go. You and Sarah.”

The breath gets knocked from your lungs, eyes wide as tears start to blossom. This is a trap. A test. It has to be. There’s no way...

“You’re letting us go?” You ask softly.

He sighs again, nodding as tears find their way down his cheeks.

“Yeah... I guess I am.”

You’re silent, staring at him and waiting for him to tell you it’s a joke, to punish you. But he doesn’t. No, instead he lets go of one of your hands and stands up, his chest almost brushing yours.

“You said I don’t love you... but I do. I love you. Or maybe I love the idea of you, I don’t know. But either way... I hate how sad you are. How sad and afraid I make you. You're free to go wherever you want.”

You’re practically hyperventilating.

After all this time, you never truly thought he’d ever let you go. That he’d have even a shred of decency left inside him.

He cups your hands together and carefully places something inside them, then turns and walks to the front door, grabbing his keys and leaving the house.

You stand silently, staring at the object in your hands until standing becomes too hard and you think you may throw up.

Then you sit down, silent tears trekking down your cheeks.

“(Y/n)?” You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting on the couch, staring at your hands, but Natasha’s voice pulls you from your thoughts.

“(Y/n), are you okay? Where’s Steve?”

You stare up at her then look back down at the tiny, life-changing object in your hands.

“He let us go,” you whisper, your glossy eyes raising to hers again.

She looks half as shocked as you feel.

“What?”

You sniffle then wipe the tears off of your cheeks.

“He’s letting us go,” you repeat, pushing yourself to your feet and holding your bump.

“Really?” You nod, eyes finding the backyard through the kitchen window.

Sarah and Morgan are playing outside with Sam and Wanda.

“What are you gonna do?”

Your heart is so full of confusion, full of pain and hurt.

“I’m gonna go cut the cake, then have a talk with Sarah.” She nods, a small smile on her face.

She heads back outside and you take a few deep breaths, trying to calm down before you go out and face Steve’s friends.

You toy with the dainty thing he dropped in your hands before nodding to yourself.

This is what’s right. It’s the right choice for both of you.

You entertain his guests for a few more hours, not wanting to clue them into anything in case they disagree with your decision, with Steve’s.

Only after the presents are given and the cake is almost completely devoured do they finally start to leave.

Wanda helps you tidy up the backyard, writing her phone number down with a soft smile and a whispered ‘if you ever need a friend’.

Everyone bids you goodbye until only Bucky and Nat are left, the metal-armed soldier staring intently at your left hand before a smile spreads across his face.

He surprises you, pulling you into a gentle hug and nodding his head.

“Congratulations, (Y/n).” You’re not sure what he’s talking about, but for some reason, you don’t think it has anything to do with the baby shower.

They leave too, and then you’re virtually alone, Sarah and Morgan asleep upstairs.

After cleaning up every last inch of the house, you head upstairs to go to sleep.

Steve isn’t home until after midnight, long after he lets his tears run dry and his heart stop shattering. It just aches now. Hurts.

He let you go. He really did it.

Deep down he knew this would be the outcome. Either this or your death, but he never wanted to accept it. Refused to admit it to himself.

But seeing Wanda... after all that she’s been through... and she’s still standing strong.

He takes his shoes off and drops his keys on the kitchen counter, freezing in his tracks when he sees the covered plate of cake with his name written on it.

The batter is blue.

A boy.

He’s gonna have a son.

A son that he’ll never get to meet. He’s given you freedom, and he doubts you’ll let him be a part of your child’s life after all that he’s put you through.

He slowly makes his way upstairs, his heart hurting when he sees no sign of your things in the pristine house.

When he pushes open the bedroom door he freezes in his tracks.

There you are, sleeping in his bed. No bags are packed, nothing is out of place, and the dainty diamond ring sits on your finger.

You’ve made your choice, he realizes, his heart jumping for joy in his chest.

He sheds his clothes then climbs into bed with you, wrapping you up in his arms and sighing heavily.

Maybe Wanda was wrong.

Maybe he’ll get his happy ending after all.

[gorgonstaringcontest]

Friend at work, who tends to be quite neat and organised even if it's just based on 'vibes', was visibly distraught when she saw my Spotify playlists.

It's for me. It makes sense to me. Some playlists are there just to scratch a particular brain itch. Some are from when I was in a mood about something.

Some are big lists scraped together of songs that I think I might like but need to listen to more. Then several successive lists that get progressively shorter as I kick songs off the list until I have the perfect recipe for what my brain is aching for - that I will listen to on repeat until I know every single key change, and click, and beep, and word to every single song, and I have siphoned every iota of serotonin and dopamine from those songs, at which point I won't listen to it again until I wake up one morning with a phrase or bridge from one of them stuck in my head and I go crawling back again.

As a little treat for whoever stumbles across this, I'll share some songs that I've consistently come back to multiple times in the last 12-18 months

"Failure is not fatal. Through struggle we fight, survival. Success is not final. Shatter the sky, shatter the sky (Skybreaker!)" just such a grand sound, the differing vocals, the staggered phrasing. It's so good. Also was a point where a lot of things were unstable in my life, felt very on brand for how I was doing emotionally.

"Maybe I should join a cult? At least they'll tell me it's not my fault that the world's a fucking circus and my life feels fucking worthless." there's a real place in my heart for songs that have extremely negative lyrics but super positive vibes. I blame the person who showed me Bullet by Hollywood Undead, and now also include songs like Concrete by Poppy.

It's not even the lyrics, it's the complex rhythm of the phrasing versus the bass line. Hook it directly into my veins.

The rolling vibe with that distorted bass line just eats my attention. It's so far from my usual vibe but it was one of my most played songs last year.

There's a big ole story behind me and cult/serial killers that I won't get into but, SKYND is a fav. I also love some gratuitous chanting backing vocals. My neighbours have definitely overheard me in the shower, absolutely unhinged a capella singing "Nine-oh-nine souls, don't do this, nine-oh-nine no more pain, oh! Nine-oh-nine souls, it's easy, I'm gonna take on all your battles!"

That throb in the bass line against the quieter almost rushed vocals that then pop into the bridge is just perfect.

Enjoy!

My favorite time of day is when I finally get home and put on my headphones and listen to my silly little playlists

(If you want one, I'll make you one)

[raspberryhell]

Azu with number 47 please!

Necromantic - 暁Records

A zombie-themed love song, so of course I had to add some undead Sasha to go with Azu <3

[Video ID: a 29 second animatic of Sasha Racket and Azu from the AP podcast Rusty Quill Gaming. The whole video is kept in various shades of pastel pink and is set to the song “Necromantic” by “暁Records“. The Animatic opens with a sketch of the Heart of Aphrodite, a heart-shaped diamond set in an open seashell. The lyrics “Doki Doki Waku Waku” appear on-time with the song to the left and right of the sketch. Next, the video shows a sketch of Sasha - a white woman with short hair and a scar on her cheek. She is wearing a leather jacket with spikes on the shoulders and and cuffs. Sasha “floats” to the left while her shadow “floats” to the right. The accompanying line of lyrics has been translated and reads “my heart races, the one who stole my heart is -” before cutting to the word “you” as the only thing on the screen. The Heart of Aphrodite with “Doki Doki Waku Waku” follows, before the video cuts to Azu, a black orc with a shaved head, wearing plate armour. Azu and her shadow also both “float” across the screen while the translated lyrics “my heart throbs, please play with my heart -” are shown. The next screen only reads “one more time” before the “Doki Doki Waku Waku” animation returns. Then, Sasha is staring intently at the real Heart of Aphrodite floating above her hands and the lyrics “My heart races, I want you to come see me soon -” can be read, followed by a lyrics-only frame reading “Necromantic” with the “romantic” part underlined with a little heart. The “Doki Doki Waku Waku” animation returns again before we see Azu staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed at a replica Heart of Aphrodite necklace dangling from her right hand, while the lyrics “My heart throbs, a world with only you and I” are shown, followed by a lyrics-only screen reading “Romantic”. While the outro plays, the credits are shown: “Song - Necromantic by Akatsuki Records, Video by Raspberry”. /End ID]

[pixyys]

i got transmigrated into the world of shugo chara! and become a guardian but my guardian chara is somehow an X-egg

what's this? a shugo chara fic but your guardian chara gives you high blood pressure instead of sparkly magical powers.

warnings. a 3 am fic but is not actually written at 3 am; mc with she/her pronouns; mentions of stress and self-deprecation; pure crack and nonsense; shugo chara and tumblr community, i am very sorry.

no idea why old-school mangas tend to stay in elementary/middle schools when they're literally experiencing heart throbbing puppy love and can summon meteors.

everyone is in highschool because we all know how highschool is almost always the setting where those spring time anime doki doki tropes happen.

prologue preview

they say smart people has lots of monologues in their head, and bottled negative emotions can manifest into something- er.. ominous.

so you don't know whether it means that you are an outstanding genius or a miserable person when you found a sus egg beside your pillow.

"kakyoin did you lay this egg?!?"

maybe kakyoin didn't but you most likely did.

the egg looks, erm, normal as per say, kind of. it is slightly bigger than your favorite boiled chicken egg, and pure, uh- black? purple-ish? in color. if this is the world of shugo chara, your egg looks like the ones that the main gang purify on a daily basis- wait.

wait.

bruh.

introducing [name] or [mc]

catchphrase include bruh, oh my god, and bob.

sigma rule #1 no simping😎

[name] x overthinking x self deprecation true love triangle route (أ‿أ)/ j.

her whole personality is meme. that's it.

au if this universe is more dark/ less family friendly and [name] suffers an open wound injury during a guardian-fight:

"name! quick! what's your type?"

"i don't think this is an appropriate time, but i like them tall, dark and handsome."

[name]'s future glimpsed through the looking glass (or magic ball, tarot cards, whichever works).

you give your new egg a once over. it is truly pitch dark in color, if not a bit purple.

'the forbidden egg.'

the egg sprung and cracked into life. its shell hit your temple, like it was trying to hit your eye and missed.

(being recruited to join the guardians)

"okay, but how much am i getting paid for this?"

"doesn't that mean my egg is basically an x-egg?"

"heart egg. yes, but no."

"oh my god, are you guys going to exorcise me now?"

"we can name our guardian charas?!"

"no, they-"

"i'm gonna name mine bob."

"..right"

(it's kairi. kairi and mc = no energy and too much energy so true.)

"[name]! rima-chan told me your heart egg hatched yesterday!"

"yea, it cracked open after i left it on the fridge for three hours."

"🗿"

(everyone shall tremble at [name]'s himbo-ness, amu not excluded.)

"ohh let yaya see! let yaya see! ahh she looks so cute!"

"please do not assume my pronouns."

"bob-"

"but you're in luck, you're right. i go by she/her."

"you're supposed to be the manifestation of my heart's desire! my hopes and dreams! my inner heart!"

"i am! i don't see the point why you're saying this!"

"bob!"

"[name]!"

"oh wow, you're really accepting that name."

"say, er.. it's valentine day."

"yeah?"

kukai silently peers at the bag of chocolate in your hands.

"oh, right," you nod as you open the bag of chocolates. the boy in question can only stare as you take one of the glistening treats, lift it to both of your eyes' level, then proceed to pop it into your mouth with your eyes dead on the former jack's line of sight.

"i have to start doing the self-love campaign seriously. confessing to other people sounds like a hassle, anyway. so i'll just confess to myself."

"epic idea. saves a lot of anxiety and stress too."

kukai and daichi are too stunned to speak.

uhh so i don't really remember what happened in shugo chara it's been years, (i'll probably read the manga but it's so long-) but i did read the wiki and found out that these canonically 12 years old kids are basically fighting some secret evil cult organization; one of them, at some point becomes a spy then suffers in some moral dilemma. bonus points that each of these primary schoolers possibly has distinctive crippling insecurity and trauma, and has better love lives than i have ever had-

[mc], everytime things go down, in a chronological order:

[mc], most of the time whenever encountering something easter-related:

in case if anyone is curious about the kakyoin and egg thing.

(all jokes aside, shugo chara is one of the best magical girls manga/ anime in my childhood, this feels nostalgic haha)

[sunnyfucks]

Hi my power went out last night while I was sending in my ask so I’m just copy and pasting it from my notes app. If you already got the first one please ignore this one, if not then hiiiiii 🥺:

Thank you for doing all that you do for us readers (writing, putting out audios, interacting) 💖 I love the written smuts as much as I do the audios- they get me every damn time 😵‍💫

Side note I feel I’m always in a sunoo brain rot but then you posted the jake one and I just screamed!!???? Out of nowhere?!!! it was sosososo good like idk Im always a whore for sunoo and now I’m like shit jake is fine as hell too in this🥵 you wrote it so well like 🥴 what have you done to me author (askfhsjakanbhsk that feels so formal pls what nicknames can I call you instead 🥺) but now I’m like?? Why have I not thought of other idols audios? Like can you imagine felix or yeosang ????????? I would ✨pass away✨ ugh you got me obsessed with sunoo and now this😭 my brain can’t. Long story short, I love your account. Like it is a comfort place and a horny place in one. Please keep doing what you do I appreciate you ❤️

I blame you for making me this feral though🤪

this is... honestly so sweet. its crazy how you’re basically going feral but its still making my heart go doki doki 🤣 thankyou for the sweet words! i actually write whenever i feel like i wanna suck sunoo or do whatever so maybe that’s why you can actually feel the heat. as for the jake smut i posted, i actually had a writers block when i was writing it because i lack sleep. but then i got to the point where they’d use the wine and my 🐱 throbbed so hard omfg. i never knew im into those stuffs 🤣 ig that’s also why the eating out part was kinda... long. but anyways, i know felix but not yeosang. i don’t stan bgrps that much. i only stan enhypen actively. i like seventeen tho. (i was an army way back 2014 - mid 2020 and i really dont plan to stan anyone but enhypen came lajshsh) btw, you can call me sunny, anon!

i love you. i write because i enjoy it but getting to actually see how lovely people appreciate my writing and stories is heart warming. i love you all so much <3 if its okay with you, please send me a message. id like to be moots and friends :)

[1loer]

Like I don't even mean like with the whole Remnants thing. Like

My guy is and was a terrorist way before Junko got her nails in him. He did that all on his own.

And I'm making him have blushy doki doki heart throbbing fun times on the beach with his friends.

Sometimes i'll remember Komaeda is fully an actual unironic terrorist and just. sit with that for a moment.