#{ I had no motivation to do almost anything. }

[lnfours]

i feel like youre the only one who could understand my thoughts rn, hear me out: uni student who is having a hard time being motivated and is justt feeling overall down about school and such. THEN, lando comfort, just being there and being so comforting (this is not at all inspired by my life or anything...truth, ive been having such a shit week and i just know that this week is going to be bad too and i really need comfort, but am lacking in the friend/boyfriend department and my phone calls with my mom are simply not doing it for me anymore. okay enough with the venting.)

i definitely, 100% understand your situation. school is stressful and hard, especially when you’re feeling unmotivated. remember to give yourself breaks as needed, and my messages are always open if you need anything ❤️

‘feeling 22’ birthday sleepover

the sound of the front door opening sounded through the apartment before his voice did, "hey, baby."

you looked up from your laptop, smiling softly at him from the spot on the couch that you had realized you'd been at all day. the sun was beginning to set, peaking in through the curtains in the living room. he walked up behind the couch, wrapping his arms around you, leaning down and pressing a kiss to your cheek.

"it's five already?" you asked, glancing up at the time in the corner of your screen. sure enough, it was a little after five. you had quite literally been working on this final project all day.

he hummed, resting his head on top of yours, "mmhm," his nose absentmindedly nuzzled into the hair ontop of your head, taking in the smell of your shampoo, "have you been working on this all day?"

you nodded, sighing before pulling off your glasses, rubbing your eyes, "yeah and i feel like i've barely made a dent in it. i feel like no matter what i put, my professor isn't going to be impressed."

"he'd be an idiot not to be impressed with anything you do."

"yeah, but it needs to be perfect if i want to land that internship," you said, "and it's nowhere near perfect. no matter how hard i work i feel like it's not good enough and i just... i don't know what to do."

"take a break, baby," he said, "you've been at this all day. rest the rest of the night and have another go at it tomorrow or the next day. little by little."

you knew he had a point, but you sat there defeated as you tried to get yourself to close your laptop, "okay, yeah, just let me read it over one last time and then i'll be done for the night."

he nodded, "okay, just once though," he said, standing up again, "i have an idea, actually. i'll be right back,"

you nodded, letting him venture down the hallway and into your bedroom. he made quick work with his actions, gathering candles from your bedroom before placing them on the bathroom counter and lighting them. he started the faucet for the bath, making it the temperature he knew you liked before adding some of your body wash to the water.

once it was set up to his liking, he made his way back to the living room and you were still invested in the project on your laptop. he stood in front of you. gently closing the lid, which made you stop reading as you let out a soft sigh of defeat. there was no getting around it with him.

"c'mon," he smiled softly, reaching out and offering his hand for you to take. you placed your hand in his, rising from the couch as he led you down the hallway and to your bedroom.

"what're you up to?"

"nothing in particular," he smiled, and when you saw the bathroom you immediately almost broke down into tears. the candles dimly lit the room and a bath was drawn.

"lando," you gasped softly, his thoughtfulness making your heart flutter against your chest and reminding you why you fell in love with him in the first place.

he smiled, "you relax, i'll order us some food. how's that sound?"

you nodded as wrapped your arms around his neck, "have i ever told you how much i love you?"

he smiled, "once or twice, i can't quite put my finger on it though."

you laughed softly, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, "i love you."

"i love you more," he smiled.

you nodded in the direction of the tub, "how about you join me and then we order dinner?"

"i like the way you think."

[hearts4werka]

NNN day 10 | Newborn Miracle

summary: the time has finally come, you and chris are going to become parents. Both of you are filled with joy and nervousness at the same time since this is a big step both of you have to make now and you’re ready more than ever for the adventures that lay ahead of you.

warnings: none, just child birth but besides it’s just chris becoming a proud father

authors note: this idea is so adorable I love the concept of babydad!chris and I need more people to write about it, so this is your sign to go do that rn 🫵 luv yall silk and hope y’all enjoy this one

no nut november | masterlist | guestlist

The sun had now began to rise, casting a golden color across the sky as I sat nervously in the passenger seat of Chris’s car, my hand clutching the hospital bag like it was a lifeline. Today was the day we had waited for, the day our lives would change forever. After months of preparing ourselves, endless conversations and debates about baby names and painting the nursery a soft shade of orange we were about to meet our little one. Chris was driving with a focused gaze I hadn’t seen before, his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.

Every so often he would spare glances at me, his blue eyes shining with excitement. “Are you ready for this?” he asked, his voice being a mix of joy and disbelief at whats going to happen today. I turned to him, my heart racing as I speak. “I think so. I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life,” I replied, feeling butterflies fluttering in my stomach. The thought of actually becoming a parent was almost hard to believe . When we finally arrived at the hospital, the adrenaline kicked in.

We rushed through the automatic doors, our hearts pounding all together. The bright lights and the familiar smell of sanitary welcomed us as we checked in and were hushed towards the maternity section. The atmosphere was filled with anticipation but not just ours but from families around us, each with their own maternity story. After what felt like forever, it was time for me to be called in. Chris held my hand tightly as we walked together into the delivery room. My heart raced as I settled onto the hospital bed and feeling the cool sheets under me.

Nurses huddled around while preparing equipment for the delivery while Chris stood by my side, whispering soft words of motivation. Hours passed with the soft rhythm of contractions guiding us through the whole experience. Chris was never far from me and his presence felt like a warm blanket of comfort. He kept running his hands through my hair, his calming voice reminding me that we were in this together. “You’re doing amazing,” he softly whispered, his faith in me growing by the second. Finally, after what felt like an ongoing battle of will and strength, the moment arrived.

I could feel the overwhelming urge to push, and with each contraction, I used every ounce of strength I had left. In those intense moments, Chris’s eyes became my own. “You’ve got this, ma,” he reassured me, and I leaned into that support. With one final push and an intense surge of energy I didn’t know I had, we heard the most beautiful sound-our baby’s first ever cry. It was like music to our ears.

Suddenly, everything else faded away around us, the pain, the noise, the world outside. In that instant, all that mattered was the life that had just entered into our world. The doctor gently handed our baby to me, and my heart twisted with joy. I looked down and there they were, our little bundle of happiness in soft white blankets. Chris’s breath caught in his throat as he came closer with his eyes wide, filled with emotion all kinds of emotions. “Can I hold them?” he asked, his voice trembling with excitement. “Of course,” I smiled, shifting so he could take our baby.

Chris cradled our little one against his chest, and I watched as he radiated with pure love. He kissed their tiny forehead, an expression of shock shadowing his face. “You did it. You brought us this miracle,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion coming straight from the heart. Chris looked down at our baby as if they were the most precious treasure in the world. “I want to do skin-to-skin,” he said and I could see the excitement radiating from him. The nurses smiled approvingly and helped him gently remove his shirt, placing our baby against his bare chest.

The warmth of the moment hugged us as Chris’s skin touched our child’s delicate body. He looked at me, letting the little one into his now vulnerable heart. “Can you believe this?” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Our little one squirmed, their little hand reaching for where Chris’s heartbeat lies. I could see a connection forming, a bond that would last a lifetime. Tears filled my eyes as I watched the two of the most important people in my life together.

It was a moment of pure beauty, one I will cherish forever. Chris looked at me and grinned, as his face radiated with joy. “We’re parents,” he said, still star struck, “and this is just the beginning.” In that room surrounded by the warmth of new beginnings, we held each other close, both over the moon and overwhelmed by all of it. Our family was here, and we were ready for the wonderful adventure ahead.

@hearts4werka

Guestlist!

| - @sturnsxplr-25 - @strnzzvsp - @luvvs4chriss - @sturniolosweetheart33 - @pussypie456 - @choclatestarfishwithahat - @venusxsturnio - @bagsbyclair0 - @sturnstvs - @dykes4chris - @hoe4matt - @cayleeuhithinknot - @strnilolover - @marrykisskilled - @phone4pills - @emely9274 - @cupiidk1lls - @lily-strnlo - @nicksgirlfriend - |

[highly-flammable]

I still have so many thoughts about this scene.

It’s very interesting how regardless of what you think of Sauron’s motivations here, his emotions are completely genuine. Galadriel is someone who has believed in him, who has pushed him and revitalized him, and that feeling, that high he could chase forever. We see how lonely Sauron as a character is in S2, how he has felt betrayed at the hand of Adar, and how normal people (like Diarmid) don’t do anything for him. It takes someone like Galadriel with her level of power and wisdom, and that hint of darkness, to finally feel like he is not alone. That he has somehow been made better.

At the same time, you have to wonder why this is the moment that he chose to open up to Galadriel like this. In the scene right before, he seemed almost calculating as he called her name and stopped her from killing Adar. I, for one, am averse to having too much of a charitable opinion of this guy. To me, part of the beauty of this character in TROP is that he says and does many things that come from an emotionally honest place, but they end up serving his goals in little ways.

As I see it, both things are true: he could genuinely feel a connection to her and felt like communicating it (you can almost feel the words spilling out of him), and he also saw how this moment was absolutely ripe for Galadriel to know they were firm friends and therefore get bound to him. Their fight was seemingly over and he knew she was going to have to leave soon. He had to give her a reason to still have him around, and here he tries to do that. Galadriel is someone who has spent centuries looking for him so that she could destroy him, and this is when he sees that opening where he could get through to her and somehow make her feel that they did not have to be enemies. Sauron’s good at choosing the moments for planting seeds which will bear fruit later, and we will indeed see him referring to this interaction multiple times in the future.

Sidenote: Charlie Vickers has very soulful, expressive eyes.

Moving on to what I personally find even more interesting: Galadriel’s feelings. Morfydd once mentioned in an interview that when Galadriel meets Halbrand, she is desperate to feel anything other than grief. She has been drowning in it for centuries, and when Sauron pulls her out of the ocean in the middle of the tempest, their resurfacing is symbolic of a rebirth. As brash and headstrong and disrespectful as she finds Halbrand, she enjoys his audacity and his wit. She admires that he feels alive and seems to grasp at opportunities. He wakes her up, as much as she does it for him.

But between the two of them, Galadriel is the one still dealing with overwhelming loss. She is mourning so many of her kinsmen, particularly Finrod, who was clearly her guiding light, and also Celeborn. Different shipper camps will have their interpretations of Galadriel and Celeborn’s relationship, but I don’t think it’s up for debate that she had been quietly grieving him. It wasn’t enough to divert her from hunting down Sauron, but the grief itself is clear in 1x07 when she mentions him. Galadriel’s story has been a tapestry of different kinds of loss - the ones that are unexpected and come as a heavy blow like Finrod’s, and the ones where the realization slowly seeps in like poison and eats away at you.

It’s downright painful for her to admit here that she felt something poignant with regard to Halbrand, perhaps simply because she is so afraid of loss again. It must have been ages since she last let someone new in, and this person has rescued her and stood by her (aside from all the playing hard to get) when she was utterly alone. This is the moment where it truly hits her how much he has begun to mean to her, and having gone through what she has, you have to assume she is downright terrified of it, particularly because as per her knowledge, this is a mortal man, with no enhanced lifespan even, his time on middle-earth a mere blink against the ages she has endured and will continue to.

Their relationship has been coded as romantic from the very beginning (I would say right from the moment Sauron first tries to separate from the rest of the castaways in 1x02 and clearly plans to join her). But I don’t believe Galadriel in this scene would ever admit to herself if she felt anything romantic. It would be too much for her, and I don’t believe she is even in the headspace to think about these things . I have to say Morfydd and Charlie are right about one thing: romance alone doesn’t cover whatever they were trying to sell here. For both characters, this is a moment of a tremendous wall breaking down emotionally, and both of them realizing they have met their kindreds. This is the moment that understandably keeps haunting both of them, and I suppose will continue to for multiple reasons.

Sidenote 2: Galadriel’s little shaky breaths and subtly pained expressions are so masterfully done here by Morfydd. You almost feel like you are watching someone’s wounds being slowly, excruciatingly cut open again.

[redrose10]

Trope- exes. Who didnt end badly, still has residual feelings for each other & met again at a mutual friend’s birthday dinner/hangout (?) with prompts 36 & 46 ? 🤎

I went with Yoongi for this one since he’s like 99% of the requests I get. I hope that’s okay!

< I Will Always Love You >

Yoongi x Female Reader

Warnings: A few swear words

#36 “Are you finished, so you’ll listen to me?”

#46 “And I’m here to save you.”

*******************************************************

Twelve months…two weeks…four days…five hours. That is how long it’s been since you last saw him. Since you last saw Yoongi. That night your world came crashing down. The two of you had been arguing all week. Little things here and there.

He left a dirty coffee cup on the counter and an argument ensued.

You forgot to pick up his medicine at the pharmacy on your way home and he took it personally.

He did a load of laundry and accidentally shrunk your favorite sweater. He offered to buy you a new one that night but you felt like he did it out of spite.

You accidentally knocked over a glass of wine all over his laptop causing it to short circuit. He could easily afford a new one but it was the principal of it all that upset him.

The final straw was when he skipped date night. He left you sitting at home alone for hours watching the meal you had worked hard on go cold. When he finally walked through the door he said you guys needed to talk and you agreed. After almost two hours of you both pouring out your hearts you both agreed that your three year relationship had run its course and it was best to go your separate ways.

So you found yourself a cute little apartment several blocks away. Yoongi made sure to stay out of the way as you and your best friends Jungkook and Jin helped you pack up and move all of your things. As you were leaving Yoongi told you to take care of yourself and that he would always be there if you ever needed anything. You told him to the same even though you both knew deep down you would never contact each other again. You gave him a hug and walked out. That was the last time you saw him.

Because even though you shared many of the same friends it was surprisingly easy to avoid him. It also helped that it seemed like he was doing the same. One of you was always conveniently busy or sick so it worked out.

Except tonight. Tonight was the one night you couldn’t avoid. One of your good friends Jimin was getting married. He made you promise not to skip out on the wedding and of course you agreed even though you really wanted to, especially after getting confirmation that Yoongi would be there.

Things had gotten easier as time went on over the last year or so. You stopped crying over him every day. Then you stopped thinking about him every single day. You heard that he had started dating some woman a few months after your breakup. It hurt deeply but it also motivated you to try and move on too. You went on a few dates here and there. You had a small thing with some guy named Namjoon but even though he was really sweet and nice and handsome that fizzled out after a couple of months leaving you single again.

You somehow managed to get a last minute date for the wedding though. Your neighbor. He was cute but you quickly found out he was arrogant and rude. The first thing he said to you was how he thought your dress would be shorter and you had to watch him check out practically every woman at the wedding while you were sitting right next to him. Even though you were miserable and feeling more alone than ever as you watched Jimin saying ‘I do’ to the love of his life you still did your best to fake happiness.

Jimin and his new bride walked down the aisle and as you turned to see them off you saw him. Yoongi looked as beautiful as ever, his hair was longer and his suit was somehow casual yet still wedding appropriate and looked great on him. He was smiling at Jimin and his bride before looking back and smiling at a woman. She was gorgeous with a smile almost as beautiful as his. He looked happy and content and even though you felt a small burning sensation in your chest you were happy for him.

Cocktail hour flew by and then it was time for the reception. You did your best to avoid Yoongi as much as you could through the evening. You caught little glimpses but thankfully it didn’t seem like he saw you at all, or at least he was pretending like he didn’t which you appreciated.

Dinner was served and then you sat through several speeches. Jimins best man Hoseok recounted several funny stories, a few of which you personally remembered, and it felt really good to laugh like that again.

Then the dance floor was opened up. Your date surprisingly asked you to dance. You accepted and headed to the floor. Even though he was dancing with you, his eyes were scanning over every other woman within the vicinity. At one point he even creepily licked his lips earning an eye roll from you.

“Hey uh you ready to go? I think we should find a room so we can finally be alone.”, he mumbled in your ear.

“No thanks.”

“Come on Y/N, don’t be such a prude.”

“She said she’s not interested. So I suggest you fuck off. Maybe try one of the other women you’ve been staring at all night.”, a very deep and very familiar voice said from behind you.

Yoongi and your date were having a stare down before your date scoffed mumbling something about you not being worth the trouble and walking away.

“Want to dance?”, he asked stepping in front of you.

Speechless you nodded. As he placed his hands on your hips it felt like your body was on fire and you wanted to lean into him to savor the feeling.

“Yoongi I…I thought you were here with a date.”, you questioned.

He smiled, “I was…I was dancing over there with her and then I saw how uncomfortable you were and now I’m here to save you.”

You quickly backed out of his grasp, “What?! Yoongi I’m not going to be the reason you two break up. You’re disgusting for doing that to her.”

You stormed out to the balcony area needing some fresh air. Yoongi followed closely behind.

You had tears already forming from all of the emotions you were struggling to sort through, “Leave me alone Yoongi. Please just go back to your date. I’m not going to be the reason something happens between the two of you. I don’t want her to get upset with me or think I’m trying to get you back or something.”, you pinched the bridge of your nose trying to stop the tears from falling, “I just want you to be happy and you looked so happy earlier and that makes me so happy and I just…”

You were in a panic thanks to feeling guilty because what if she saw you two and feeling angry that he would do that to her and feeling hurt at the reminder that he wasn’t yours and finally feeling a sense of relief at having him so close once again. The comforting mix of his cologne and shampoo taking you back to a simpler time but making it all worse.

He lightly chuckled before wrapping you in his arms allowing you to cry into his chest, “Y/N, are you finished, so you’ll listen to me?”

You nodded, though refusing to look at him.

“She’s not my date like that.”, he said causing you to finally look up at him in confusion. He used his thumb to wipe away the tears on your cheek.

“She’s just a friend.”, he said making you roll your eyes. He laughed but continued, “She’s just a friend who has a huge huge HUGE crush on Hobi but was too nervous to ask him out. She asked if I would be her date tonight until she had a couple drinks and worked up the courage to tell him.”, he turned and smirked, “And it looks like it worked.”

You looked over and saw Hobi and that woman slow dancing while smiling lovingly at each other.

Yoongi continued, “And if you must know I was so happy earlier because I got to see you Y/N. I miss you. I was hoping you’d be here but then I saw you had a date. Jimin said he was no one but I didn’t want to overstep any boundaries.”

“Yeah he was a mistake more than anything.”, you grumbled getting a smile out of Yoongi.

He wrapped his arms around you again and you allowed your body melt into his, “I missed you Yoongi.”, you mumbled into his skin.

“I missed you to Y/N. Fuck, I was so stupid for ever letting you go.”

“I should’ve fought harder too. I was just so tired of the arguing and feeling like everything was falling apart.”, you sniffled feeling tears begin to form again.

“Hey hey don’t cry any more. Y/N I hate seeing you cry. I’m here now. And maybe…maybe if you want to…we can start over.”

You looked up taking in his soft features and he gave you a small smile.

You nodded and gave his cheek a kiss which he happily received.

At some point someone had cracked open the door to allow the chill air to fill into the reception room which also let the soft hum of the music stream out onto the patio.

“They’re playing our song.”, you smiled as the familiar tune of I Will Always Love You rang through the air. Yoongi had sung the song to you one night after your first big fight. You were convinced that he was going to leave you. He wasn’t great at speaking his mind so instead he pulled you down on his lap and sang the song trying to do his best Whitney Houston impression. He did it to cheer you up but also let you know that no matter what happened between you two he was always going to love you. After that night it became your song.

Yoongi smirked, “Yeah I think our friends might’ve had something to do with that.”

He was was pointing inside and you saw a group of your friends staring at you both while giggling and giving you a thumbs up.

“Well if they want a show then we’ll give them a show.”, he said before taking your hand, “Y/N will you dance with me?”

Your heart felt like it was going to burst but you agreed before he quickly twirled you around and back into his comforting arms once again.

[stackslip]

so after a second watch, the thing with arcane s2 so far is that near all the plot beats are really good and exactly what i wanted, but they also almost all desperately needed more buildup. it's like we're missing 10-15 extra minutes an episode for the scenes that would really flesh out a lot of the characters' motives for the choices they make and to build up the world! it's so painfully obvious that they're craming in plot bc they're missing a season or have cut time per ep, and as a result while im ecstatic at a lot of the developments v few of them feel earned!

vi choosing to become an enforcer, her agonizing feelings re jinx in particular feel like they're missing. we should have seen the moment cait chose to use the vents to target the undercity and others' reaction to this, especially vi. it's great to see the hole silco left, but we needed to see the underground falling apart in something that's not a shiny league amv. we needed to see the kid spend more time with jinx for her choice to defend jinx to hit harder. we needed to see more of jinx's suicidality and her voices disappearing. i would have been so grateful to see mel trying to do more to rally to counter her mother's influence and being foiled at every turn. more hints of ambessa's manipulation too! would have loved to see ekko and his peers rescuing undercity people and dealing with the aftermath of the war there directly!

and like tbc i think they v clearly considered what they did have the time with and chose to trim or cut off near anything that wasnt a super cool fight scene or important plot beats. the ACTUAL beats are near all a win to me tbh! i am ecstatic about cait's character arc, her using the vents made me gasp; the mel and ambessa situation is sooooo fascinating and fucked up; i love the revelation about hextech poisoning the ground; sevika and jinx dealing with the gaping wound of silco's death is so good; viktor's ominous messiah arc is hitting for me; i loooooved cait hitting vi and vi just breaking down.

in terms of missteps, i wish ekko didnt feel like he's just being explained plot at (i like his dynamic with jayce so far tho), i think vi of all the characters suffered by far the most of the sacrificed time to make her choices and words mame proper sense, caitvi kiss felt far more like they had to kiss before they broke up but in context did not work, and made me roll my eyes so hard, we did not need a five minute cait angst montage, i did not care for how "league" the zaunite chembarons felt instead of an organic part of zaun like they did in s1, half the songs are a complete miss to me, etc etc

i dont think the season is a loss and again im interested in the actual beats, and tbh i kinda feel sorry for fortiche and the writing team bc it's obvious that this is less like, active clumsiness on their part or shite writing and far more that time was a deeply limited resource for the story they wanted to tell and they had to make choices. you could argue if it would have been better to drop some plot threads entirely and focus more deeply on others but imo it wouldnt work for a series like arcane where the cast' actions have such massive ramifications on each other so. i get it. it's just really unfortunate considering how tightly written s1's tragedy was

[duplicityvn]

devtalk #1 11/10 ::

Hey, I've been recently made aware of a... I don't know what to say so I'll just put, "controversial" update of one of the games in this community.

First off, I want to say kudos to @/fantasia-kitt for biting the bullet and putting some actual real dark shit into the game. This is what's been missing from the community.

Personally, I think these devblogs and interactions between community and developer have watered down yandere stories and have promoted an almost unhealthy look towards what a yandere actually is.

It also has caused several people to develop an unhealthy sense of relationships, thinking that you're only loved or capable of showing love if you do extremely toxic things as a "Look what I'll do for you, don't you understand?"

This isn't to say that I think devblogs should be removed, or we should stop dev-community interactions all together. No, this is just me saying, "Hey, guys. These characters are meant to be dark, are meant to be evil, they're morally reprehensible and irredeemable. Remember that."

When you get into dark content, you have to be prepared for dark fucking content, okay?

Onto my second point of this post.

Do I think there should have been clearer warnings in the game before some of this stuff happened? Yes and no. I think FK's warnings are appropriate and clearly stated.

I also think that following a similar format to Boyfriend to Death, where there is a content warning/trigger list for each separate character would help in expectations for these incidents. People get attached to characters, it's a thing that happens. If you asked me several months ago, I would have a different opinion. As it stands, I now have comfort characters of my own.

Do I think anything is wrong with TKATB or FK? No, absolutely not. FK is entitled to create whatever story they want to, however dark they want to. I appreciate that they're bringing this into the community and it's a little inspiring and motivating if I'm being honest.

Anyway, this is just my own personal thoughts and ramblings on this matter. I am but a tiny dev with a tiny following that wanted to make a post about this in general. In the future, I will personally be making a trigger/content warning list for each character before such content is released to avoid this happening. I will also be implementing it into the game itself so it's very in your face about what Duplicity: Revival contains.

You have your own responsibility to listen to and heed warnings that developers list for their games. If ***any*** of that content on those warnings are an issue for you, then don't interact with the game. At all.

I think that's all I had to say about this. I'll add more if I think of anything.

Take care of yourself, bunnies. <3

-Cin

[thousandyearphantombunker]

https://dailycollegian.com/2023/12/there-is-no-bad-person-disease/#:~:text=There's%20no%20health%20condition%20that,do%20with%20your%20overall%20morality (not sure the links I've given are functional but y'all can copy them into your search bar anyway)

People with NPD are capable of apologizing for past behavior, admitting to weakness, sacrificing themselves, showing others respect and decency, they can have morals and some of them (not all) are capable of empathy which btw is not required in order to do something heroic- also it's possible to act heroic for selfish reasons. they have fragile egos and often can have complexes (like ya know a guilt complex that makes them an overly self sacrificing martyrs) I'm sorry tony being a good person/attempting to be better doesn't negate him from having the 'evil' cluster B personality disorder. Tony's self importance doesn't manifest as being cruel or outwardly selfish it manifests in his guilt complex and playing hero. His belief that he is special fuels his guilt further. He's a perfectionist.

"I expect more of myself than everyone else. I have to be perfect or I'm useless." - a diagnosed narcissist

He is cold and dismissive and he can brag a lot. He's a functional narcissist so he's not gonna freak out when criticized. It's almost like narcissistic people are people and are complex and aren't so solely just a bunch of negative symptoms and traits of their disorder. He's also got several disorders that are comorbid with NPD such as substance abuse disorder and he has an avoidant attachment style- perhaps to protect his own ego and cope with childhood trauma. He used to exploit others heavily and is kind of a toxic boss. He was rejected, and neglected by his father and praised for intelligence so much as a child and had to deal with a lot trauma before getting kidnapped by terrorists. All of the traumas he faced are common in people with npd

tony displays: arrogance, haughty behaviors, and attitudes. a grandiose sense of self-importance. a lack of empathy or an unwillingness to identify with the needs of others and behavior that is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends. It doesn't manifest as outright cruelty like I said his grandiose sense of importance actually motivates him as a hero and makes his ego weaker though he's functioning so he can still take a blow

I am mainly going based off the comics and I'm aware that the MCU tones him down quite a bit but he still displays some of these traits.

I remember back then when autism was also just a lost of negative traits/symptoms a school counselor would point to 'an autistic person have no empathy and are completely rigid and black and white in their worldview, they will break down over dumb things are violent etc' being autistic when I was kid didn't mean you were a kid with a disability it meant you were a brat and a burnout. It meant you were unhygienic and aggressive and RIGID- which according to way too many people meant robot control freak rather than seeking comfort in things like routine and lacking the skills/intellectual capacity needed to function outside of them or they have panic attacks when taken out their routine and ya know aren't being manipulative and are having involuntary emotional responses- and I would hear autism parents complain about their kids and i would hear adults raised by autistic people talk about the scars they had been left with and they deserved to vent because yeah it can be traumatic and stressful and they are victims but it became something ugly toward me. People with cluster B personality disorders have it way worse than I ever did (dear god they get criminalized) but I relate for a reason. I like characters like Tony because they have traits associated with stigmatized disorders and shows those traits in action vs how we envision them when hear about the disorder- when you hear self important you automatically assume it means selfish and don't realize how complex and different that trait can look across the board and we get to see that they are complex and capable and even good people. I know not everyone has to agree with the headcanon and I understand why many of Tony's fans get mad at this headcanon but you don't have the best knowledge of NPD I'm guessing. People hear traits like entitled and interested in success and power and automatically think of the worst case scenario- megalomania and taking whatever they want no matter the cost and don't see how those traits can manifest in a variety of ways and not all them are destructive. Your statement apply to some not all narcissists. I don't know if you have trauma and if you do I'm sorry if this reads as cold or mean but I really hate when people talk about personality disorders like this. Npd can manifest in a variety of ways

"everyone is different" yeah including freaking narcissists that wasn't a gotcha. Your statement was legitimately ableist

everyone who says that tony is a narcissist has probably never met a narcissist but as someone who lived with one for Fifteen Fucking Years I can tell u that he isn't even close to one

[bigkingxl0]

Fuck dude, you're getting so huge! Look at your fat ass. That bulk is really working, eh? You've packed it on. How much bigger are you planning to get? Since you're still working out--you are still working out, right? I guess now that I look at you up close, you've really let yourself go. To be honest I almost didn't recognize you when you walked out the door. I had to do a double take, like who's this dude? Huge gut, puffy tits, double chin. I had no clue you're a porker now. Sorry, dude, you know I love you regardless. I just say what everyone is too afraid to say. You got fat. And you're obsessed with food, man. Every time I talk to you it's about what fatty food you gorged on last. Deep fried this and chocolate syrup that, 80oz sodas over whatever you told me last weekend. I leave the state for a minute and come back to you like this? Pretty funny though bro. Good to know I was your only motivation to stay fit! Well, I guess now that I'm back, you can work this off--damn, bro... you're really eating a snack right now? You can barely fit in your clothes and you're still eating? I can see your gut spilling out! Your jeans are skin tight. Really bro? You can't still be trying to bulk, look in a mirror man, like... I don't know what to tell you. Now I know why you want us to go to the all you can eat buffet. Fuck man, do you not hear how fat that sounds? Eating a snack on our way to the buffet. You're crazy man. Jesus H, look at how bloated you already look. I can only imagine what you had for breakfast. You feel bloated too. I never remember your appetite being this bad, dude. I can hear your stomach growling from here! Man, I'm starving too--maybe we can have a new competition? Since you're definitely not beating me in anything else now. See how many plates we can clean? You know I'm a beast in here. Push your limit, fatty. I wanna see you eat.

[rylem33]

What You Want

Casey sipped her coffee, her shoulders slouched as she stared into her cup. “I just don’t know, Amy. I didn’t mean to quit again, but… well, it just didn’t feel right, you know?”

Amy raised an eyebrow, her fingers tapping against her own mug. “You say that every time, Case. Retail didn’t feel right, the admin job ‘wasn’t a fit,’ the freelancing felt ‘off.’ And now what? The café gig wasn’t cutting it either?”

Casey’s face reddened as she gave a slight shrug, her gaze fixed downward. “It’s not like I don’t want to work or anything. It’s just that—ugh, I don’t know.” She let out a long sigh, trying to put words to the feeling that seemed to haunt her everywhere she went. “I get there, I try to stay motivated, but something’s missing. I end up feeling like I’m just… floating, like there’s no point to any of it.”

Amy leaned back, her face softening as she regarded Casey with an expression somewhere between pity and understanding. “So, what are you waiting for? You need direction, right? A push?”

Casey felt an uncomfortable twist in her stomach as she nodded half-heartedly. It felt embarrassing, admitting to feeling so lost at her age, especially to Amy, who had everything in her life so perfectly together. “I guess? I don’t know if I need a push, exactly. It’s more like I need to figure out what I even want to be pushed toward.”

Amy smiled, leaning forward with a gleam in her eye. “Then maybe it’s time you tried something different.”

Casey’s face twisted with a skeptical look as she shot Amy a wary glance. “Oh no. I know that look. You’re about to pitch me some wild idea.”

“Well, wild or not, it worked for me, didn’t it?” Amy shot back, her voice firm. “Do you see me vaping anymore?”

Casey rolled her eyes, a faint smirk tugging at her lips. “I still can’t believe you actually did that. Hypnosis? Isn’t that just… mind tricks and creepy suggestions?”

Amy crossed her arms, her expression unrelenting. “Come on, Casey. It’s not like the movies. I mean, yes, you let someone guide your mind, but it’s all about relaxation and suggestion. It’s not like they make you cluck like a chicken. The hypnotherapist I used just helped me focus, made me want to quit. I’m serious; it worked like magic.”

Casey’s interest was piqued, despite herself, but she shrugged it off, unwilling to let herself be swept up in yet another thing that wouldn’t work out. “So, what, they put you in a trance, and you woke up a non-vaper?”

Amy laughed. “Not quite. It’s more like they give your mind a nudge. They plant a suggestion, and it just… sticks. If you give it a try, I’m willing to bet they could help you find some clarity. Maybe even a little confidence boost.”

Casey scrunched her nose, stirring her coffee absently, feeling her initial resistance starting to crack. “I don’t know. It sounds weird, like I’m handing over my brain to someone else.”

“You’re not handing it over; you’re steering it,” Amy countered, her tone insistent. “You’re telling it, ‘Hey, brain, we’re done wandering aimlessly.’ You just need a bit of direction. And seriously, what’s the worst that could happen?”

Casey looked away, chewing her lip as she mulled over Amy’s words. There was a part of her that was almost desperate enough to give in, but fear and embarrassment held her back. She hated that it was always Amy pushing her, while she herself seemed forever stuck on the sidelines, never really going anywhere.

With a heavy sigh, Casey finally met Amy’s gaze. “Fine, I’ll think about it.”

Amy’s face lit up, and she pulled out her phone. “Think about it on the way to your appointment! I’ll book it right now, and trust me—you’re going to feel like a whole new person.”

“Wait—Amy! I didn’t mean right now!” Casey protested, but it was too late.

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Casey sat on the soft, oversized couch in the hypnotherapist’s office, her fingers fidgeting in her lap as she took in her surroundings. The walls were a soothing shade of blue, and calming, ambient music played softly in the background. She glanced at the man sitting across from her—a middle-aged therapist with a warm, reassuring smile and an air of quiet confidence.

“So, Casey,” he began, his voice gentle yet direct, “why don’t you tell me what’s brought you here today?”

Casey hesitated, feeling a bit self-conscious. “Um… well, to be honest, I’m not sure if this is going to work. I mean, I don’t even know what my problem is exactly. I just… I can’t seem to stick to anything.” She sighed, looking down at her hands. “I’ve tried different jobs, different hobbies, but nothing ever feels right. I’m just… floating, I guess.”

The therapist nodded, his gaze steady and nonjudgmental. “So, you’re feeling a lack of direction? A sense that you don’t know where you’re headed or what would give you a real sense of purpose?”

“Exactly,” Casey replied, relieved that he seemed to understand. “It’s not that I’m lazy or that I don’t care. I do… I just… I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“And that’s left you feeling, what? Restless? Unsatisfied?”

She nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think that’s it. I want to be… someone, I guess. I want to feel like I know who I am, what I want.”

The therapist’s smile deepened slightly. “I can help you with that, Casey. Through hypnosis, we can start working with your mind to find and reinforce that sense of purpose and self. I’d like to try a session with you today to plant a suggestion that could help you start taking those first steps.”

Casey shifted a little on the couch, nervousness flickering across her face. “I mean, if you think it’ll help. I’m… willing to try.”

“Good,” he replied, his voice reassuring. “All I need you to do is relax, let go, and trust the process. Hypnosis is nothing more than a deeply relaxed state where your mind is open to positive suggestions. I’ll guide you through it, and we’ll start by focusing on that desire you have—to find out what you want and to go after it.”

Casey took a deep breath, nodding. “Alright. Let’s do it.”

The therapist’s tone softened even further, lulling and steady. “Excellent, Casey. Now, just make yourself comfortable, close your eyes… and let yourself sink into that relaxation, letting all the tension fall away…”

Casey’s eyes fluttered closed as she leaned back into the cushions, his words drawing her deeper into a state of calm. The last thing she remembered was his soothing voice leading her down, down into the peaceful quiet, her thoughts melting away into softness as he gently guided her mind….

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Casey blinked in the bright afternoon light as she walked out to meet Amy, still feeling a bit fuzzy from the session. Amy was already on her feet, her expression eager.

“So?” Amy asked, practically bouncing. “How’d it go? Did he put you under? Say anything weird?”

Casey chuckled, running a hand through her hair as she tried to piece her thoughts together. “I… think so?” she said, frowning slightly. “I remember us talking about why I’m so indecisive, and he was really calm, just asking me questions. Then he started telling me to relax, and…” She trailed off, her brow furrowing as she searched her memory. “Honestly, it’s kind of a blank. I know I felt relaxed, but I don’t remember much after that.”

Amy grinned. “Sounds about right. Hypnosis doesn’t always feel like some big, earth-shattering thing right away. But it’ll get in there, work in the background. So maybe next time you’re struggling to make a choice, you’ll just… know what you want.”

Casey snorted. “Yeah, maybe. Though that would be a pretty huge change for me.”

They started strolling down the street, passing a row of little cafés and restaurants. Amy stopped in front of their usual spot, a casual Thai place they both liked. “What do you think? Thai?”

Casey looked at the place, hesitating, a dozen little thoughts flitting through her mind as they always did. It was a comfortable choice, and she wasn’t in the mood to argue or analyze anything. But then, faint and unassuming, a small thought surfaced: You know what you want…

“I mean… I could go for Thai, or maybe…” She found herself glancing across the street at a little Italian bistro they’d mentioned trying a while back. “What about that Italian place? We’ve been saying we should try it.”

Amy gave her a surprised look but shrugged. “Sure, I’m up for it if you are.”

They crossed the street, Casey feeling a bit surprised at herself. That was easier than I thought, she mused. Maybe she’d even try to make a few more decisions for herself to see if it could stick.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Casey opened the door to her apartment and found Liam lounging on the couch, scrolling through his phone. He looked up and gave her a warm smile as she walked in.

“Hey, you,” he greeted, sitting up. “How was your day?”

She dropped her bag onto a nearby chair, shrugging. “Not bad. Amy kind of roped me into something… unusual.”

Liam raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”

“Yeah, she talked me into going to a hypnotherapist.” Casey laughed, her cheeks flushing a little. “I know, it sounds ridiculous. I didn’t think it would do anything, but…” She paused, glancing away. “It was… interesting.”

Liam’s smile faded a bit, his brow knitting. “Hypnosis? That’s… not something I’d expect from you.”

“Right?” she said, dropping onto the couch next to him. “But Amy swears by it. She thought it might help me feel more… I don’t know, more sure of myself.”

“So did it work?” he asked, searching her face.

Casey shrugged. “I’m not sure. It was all kind of foggy. But I don’t feel any different.”

Liam nodded toward his phone. “Well, I decided to take the guesswork out of dinner for you. I ordered from that Chinese place you like. Should be here soon.”

Normally, Casey would have shrugged and let him make the call; it saved her from agonizing over small decisions. But this time, as the words settled over her, something rose up inside, that faint but clear whisper: You know what you want; you deserve what you want.

She paused, her thoughts surprising even herself. “Actually… I was thinking pizza.”

Liam glanced at her, his expression mildly surprised. “Pizza?”

“Yeah,” she said, feeling a strange firmness in her voice. “There’s that new place on Eighth, the one with the pepperoni rolls I keep hearing about. We should try that.”

“Oh.” He seemed caught off guard but didn’t push back. “Well… maybe next time? I’ve already placed the order.”

The thought flared again, insistent and unwavering. You know what you want.

“Can’t you cancel it?” Casey asked, keeping her tone light but firm. “I really want to try the pizza.”

He blinked, his eyes lingering on her a moment before he nodded slowly. “Yeah, I can call them back. Sure.” He picked up his phone, casting her an uncertain look as he started dialing.

A few minutes later, the order was changed, and the pizza was on its way. They sat together on the couch, Casey feeling a slight, unexpected satisfaction. Liam, on the other hand, seemed to be watching her a little differently, as if trying to piece something together.

“What do you want to watch later?” he asked, leaning back and scrolling through movie options. “I was thinking we could start that new thriller you mentioned last week.”

Usually, Casey would have just gone with whatever he’d chosen, trusting he’d pick something decent. But the same, steady thought surfaced in her mind again: You deserve what you want. And she didn’t want a thriller.

“How about a comedy instead?” she said, keeping her tone casual. “I’m in the mood for something light.”

Liam paused, his thumb hovering over the screen as he glanced at her. “Comedy?” His surprise was barely hidden, though he forced a small smile. “Sure. That’s fine with me.”

They settled on a rom-com, but Casey couldn’t help noticing the way he seemed to study her between scenes, a little more quiet than usual. He was clearly surprised, maybe even a bit thrown off. But, for the first time, Casey didn’t feel like shrinking back or apologizing for pushing a little. Instead, she just felt…certain.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Casey stepped through the apartment door, her heels clicking on the floor as she set her bag down. She pulled off her blazer revealing a deep cut top, glancing at herself in the hallway mirror and feeling a little thrill. She looked… professional…different.

Liam looked up from the couch, his eyes widening as he took her in. “Wow,” he said, standing up. “You look… incredible. Where were you all day?”

A smile broke across her face as she walked over, hanging her blazer on the back of a chair. “I was at a law firm,” she said, smoothing down her crisp dress shirt. “I had an interview.”

“Wait, a law firm? An interview?” Liam blinked, looking as if he hadn’t quite heard her right. “What law firm? What for?”

“For an internship,” she said, still smiling. She felt a swell of excitement as she said the words. “This morning, it just… hit me, out of nowhere. I knew what I wanted to do. I want to be a lawyer.”

Liam’s eyebrows shot up. “Just… just like that?”

She nodded, her excitement building as she recounted the day. “Yes. I got up, got dressed, and went straight to the law offices downtown. I walked right in and asked if they had any internships available. I mean, I didn’t take no for an answer.”

Liam stared at her, clearly struggling to keep up. “And they just… hired you?”

Casey grinned, a little proud. “They did. A paid internship while I get my degree. The hiring manager even said she liked my… confidence.” She took a breath, as if reliving the thrill of that moment. “I just felt like I knew it was the right thing. So I went for it.”

Liam was quiet for a long moment, his expression shifting from surprise to something she couldn’t quite read. “So… you’re suddenly going to law school?” he asked, his voice tentative.

Casey shrugged, still feeling that steady certainty. “Yes. I mean, why not? I can handle it.”

He nodded slowly, his face still a mix of confusion and something else, something almost like apprehension. “It’s… a lot to take in. You’ve never talked about wanting to do that before.”

“Well, now I know it’s what I want.” She smiled, giving his hand a quick squeeze. “I’ve never felt this clear before, Liam. Isn’t it exciting?”

Liam returned her smile, though there was a hint of hesitation behind it. “It’s… definitely something.” 

Without breaking her gaze, she stepped closer, pressing her body against his, her hand trailing up to his chest.

“I’ve missed you today,” she murmured, her voice low. “And right now… I want you.”

He shifted uncomfortably, glancing away, his face tense. “Case, I don’t know… I’m not really in the mood right now.”

The words hit her like ice water, and she blinked, her hand pausing on his chest. Not in the mood? A twist of embarrassment mingled with surprise, leaving her momentarily speechless. They’d never been here before; Liam was always so open to her. Why would he say no?

But the embarrassment quickly melted, replaced by a simmering frustration. You know what you want; you deserve what you want. The familiar thought pushed back against the rejection, and she straightened, that tight, unyielding certainty hardening her resolve.

“Come on,” she urged, her voice growing firmer as she leaned in, brushing her lips along his jaw. “I want you, Liam. And I know you want me, too.”

Liam took a small step back, giving her a look that was half apology, half something she couldn’t quite place. “Casey… not tonight, alright? I’m just… not feeling it.”

For a moment, the refusal didn’t compute. She felt her jaw clench, her frustration rising even as a part of her tried to understand. Why would he turn me down?

Her voice was barely more than a whisper. “I don’t get why you’re brushing me off.” She straightened, crossing her arms, her tone sharpening. “I want you, Liam. And you… you should want this, too.”

He ran a hand through his hair, his face tense. “I do… usually. It’s just… tonight’s been a lot, you know?” He gestured vaguely at her, as if she were somehow part of the problem. “You’ve changed so much in the last couple of days, and I’m trying to keep up. I just… I need a bit of time to adjust. That’s all.”

“Adjust?” She scoffed, her voice hardening. “What’s there to adjust to? So I know what I want now. Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Of course it is, but…” He trailed off, frustration clear in his face. “But maybe I need a little space to wrap my head around all of it. You’re coming on so strong, and… I don’t know, Casey, it’s just… a lot.”

She took a step back, the sting of his words settling into her, unfamiliar and uncomfortable. She wanted him, she was clear about it—why should he hesitate? She felt herself bristle at the rejection, her jaw tightening as she held back a retort.

“Fine,” she said finally, her voice icy. “If you’re not interested, then forget it.”

He looked down, his shoulders slumping a bit. “It’s not that I don’t want you, Case. It’s just… tonight, I need a little room. That’s all.”

But she was already heading toward the bedroom without another word, her frustration simmering hotly as she left him standing alone, looking after her in confusion and regret.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour later, Casey emerged from the bedroom, her heart still pounding with frustration. She had slipped into a figure-hugging dress, the kind she rarely wore around Liam, reserving it for occasions she wanted to feel bold, confident, sexy. Her hair cascaded over her shoulders, and she’d touched up her makeup—darkened her lashes, painted her lips a rich, seductive red. She didn’t just look good. She looked powerful.

Liam, sitting at the kitchen table, glanced up from his phone, his eyes widening as he took her in. “Casey…” he began, his voice uncertain, a wary look in his eyes. “Going somewhere?”

“Maybe,” she replied, her voice smooth as silk. She took her time, crossing the room with purpose, letting him watch her, knowing exactly the effect she had on him. She could see his gaze waver, drifting over her, yet the hesitation lingered on his face.

“I thought we could pick up where we left off,” she said, her tone a mixture of suggestion and challenge. “Or… I can head out.”

Liam looked away, a flicker of discomfort crossing his face. “Casey, look, I… I told you. Tonight isn’t a good night for me. I just need a little time.”

Casey felt a surge of irritation rise again. You deserve what you want. The words repeated in her mind, steady and relentless, sparking something bold, almost reckless. She took a step closer, her gaze never leaving his.

“I don’t think you get it, Liam,” she said, her voice low, her tone tight. “I want you. And I don’t want to wait, I don’t want to be patient. I shouldn’t have to.”

He swallowed, looking up at her, clearly taken aback by her intensity. “Case, I… I get that. And I want you too. Just… not right this second. Can’t we talk about this?”

“What’s there to talk about?” she replied, arching an eyebrow, challenging him to answer.

He hesitated, struggling for words. “This just… isn’t like you. You’ve always been easygoing, we never fight over stuff like this. I don’t know why this is suddenly so…” He shook his head, clearly at a loss. “I feel like I’m talking to a different person.”

She studied him, feeling the words echo in her mind, pushing her forward, unwilling to back down. She didn’t respond, but her silence said enough. If he wasn’t going to give her what she wanted, then she’d get it elsewhere.

After a pause, she flashed a cold, daring smile. “Fine. If you don’t want this, I’ll find someone who does.”

She saw the shock flash across his face, but she didn’t wait for a response. She picked up her bag, slipped on her heels, and walked out the door without a backward glance.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later that night, Casey found herself in a dim, crowded club. She moved through the crowd, cutting through the room with focused intent. She wasn’t here to waste time. She was here because she wanted something, and tonight she’d have it.

A man stepped into her path, flashing her a grin, his eyes drifting down to her dress. “Hey there,” he said, leaning in close. “You look like you could use a drink.”

She arched an eyebrow, sizing him up with a look that was more appraisal than interest. Attractive enough, sure, but the easy grin and lazy charm grated on her nerves. She could feel the words whispering through her mind, familiar and undeniable: You know what you want; you deserve what you want.

“If I wanted one,” she replied, her voice cold and dismissive, “I’d have gotten it myself.”

The man’s smile faltered, a flash of confusion crossing his face. He let out a nervous chuckle, still hovering too close for her comfort. “Just trying to be friendly.”

She didn’t bother hiding her irritation, her eyes narrowing as she met his gaze, unflinching. “I don’t need you to try.”

Without waiting for a response, she brushed past him, her attention already shifting away, a thrill rising in her chest. She was done humoring anyone who couldn’t give her exactly what she wanted. As she let herself melt into the beat of the music, her eyes caught sight of another man watching her with clear intent.

Her lips curled into a small, satisfied smile. Now this was more like it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Minutes later, Casey found herself pressed against the cool tile wall in the dimly lit bathroom of a club, her fingers tangled in the hair of a man she’d only met minutes before. 

Casey gasped as his hands tightened on her hips, pulling her even closer, her laughter turning into a low, sultry moan. “God, yes,” she breathed, her voice echoing off the tiled walls, “Just like that…”

The man grinned against her neck, and she could feel his breath, hot and ragged. “You like that?” he murmured, his tone a mix of confidence and awe, like he could hardly believe the enthusiasm she was giving him.

“Oh, you have no idea,” she replied, her lips curling into a smirk as her fingers slid over his shoulders. “I want this. I deserve this.”

She let out a soft, reckless laugh, her voice huskier than she’d ever heard it. “Don’t stop,” she commanded, her words sharp with hunger. “I’ve been waiting for this all night.”

As he obliged, she felt herself tip her head back, the orgasm ripping through her. “Yes, yes! That’s exactly what I needed,” she whispered, her voice brimming with satisfaction.

She was finally getting what she deserved, and she loved every second of it.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was nearly three in the morning when Casey finally slipped her key into the lock and entered the apartment. She shut the door quietly, already kicking off her heels, when she looked up and froze. Liam was sitting on the couch, his face pale and exhausted, his eyes bloodshot as he looked up at her.

“Casey,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “Where have you been?”

She rolled her eyes, pulling her bag off her shoulder and setting it on the table. “Out.”

He rose to his feet, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “Out? You’ve been gone for hours. You didn’t answer your phone, you just… left. Do you have any idea what that’s been like?”

She shrugged, heading into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. “I didn’t think you’d be waiting up. You made it pretty clear earlier you didn’t want anything to do with me tonight.”

Liam followed her, his voice shaking with a mix of anger and worry. “I told you I needed some space, not for you to disappear to…” He broke off, his gaze dropping to her, his face clouding with something deeper as he took in her disheveled appearance, her smeared lipstick, her flushed cheeks. “What… did you do tonight, Casey?”

She held his gaze, unflinching. “I wanted you, Liam,” she said, her tone unapologetic. “I made that pretty clear. You refused, so I found someone else who didn’t.”

The words hung in the air, cold and cutting, and she didn’t look away, letting him absorb them.

Liam���s face crumpled as the realization hit, his expression one of raw hurt. “You… you’re serious?”

She took a sip of water, unbothered by the tremor in his voice. “Look, I’m not going to pretend otherwise. I wanted something, and I got it. I don’t see why we have to make this a big deal.”

“A big deal?” His voice cracked, and he took a step back, running a hand over his face. “Casey, do you even hear yourself? You just… you went and slept with someone else, just like that, and now you act like it’s nothing?”

She sighed, her patience thinning. “Liam, you weren’t interested. I was. Why should I go without because you decided not to give me what I wanted?”

He stared at her, his face a mixture of anger, disbelief, and pain. “Because… we’re supposed to be together, Casey. We’re supposed to care about each other, to—”

“We do,” she interrupted, her voice flat. “But that doesn’t mean I should go without the things I want. I deserve to get what I want, Liam. I’m done feeling guilty about that.”

The weight of her words seemed to crush him. His shoulders sagged, and he let out a shaky breath, his eyes rimmed with tears. “I… I don’t know who you are anymore.”

She watched him, unfazed. “That’s not my problem.”

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next afternoon, Casey met Amy at their usual café. She strolled in, confident and calm, scanning the room until she spotted Amy at a corner table. But as she walked over, she could immediately tell something was off.

Amy looked up, her face tense, her lips pressed into a tight line. As soon as Casey sat down, Amy crossed her arms, fixing her with a hard stare.

“Casey,” Amy began, her voice low and serious. “What happened last night with Liam?”

Casey rolled her eyes, sighing. “Oh, I see he ran to you already. Guess he needed someone to cry to.”

Amy’s eyes flashed with hurt and anger. “Casey, don’t be like that. He was heartbroken when he called me. He told me what you did… what you said to him when you got home. I could barely believe it.”

“Well, it’s the truth,” Casey replied, shrugging, unfazed by Amy’s reaction. “I wanted something, he didn’t want to give it to me, so I found someone who would. I don’t see what the big deal is.”

“The big deal?” Amy’s voice rose slightly, but she forced herself to stay calm. “Casey, you cheated on him. And you acted like it was nothing. That isn’t you. What happened to you?”

Casey scoffed, leaning back, folding her arms. “Maybe I’ve just decided to stop living for what others want, Amy. I deserve to get what I want. I’m not going to sit around waiting for Liam, or anyone else, to catch up with me.”

Amy shook her head slowly, her expression pained. “Casey… do you even remember who you used to be? The friend I knew would never have done this. Do you remember how you stayed up with me all night when I broke up with David? You went out of your way to make sure I felt okay, even though you had to work the next morning.”

Casey shrugged, waving her hand dismissively. “That was different.”

“Different?” Amy’s voice cracked, her eyes searching Casey’s for a trace of the friend she used to know. “Or how about last year, when Liam lost his job, and you helped him look for new ones? You were there for him through everything. You were kind, Casey. You actually cared about people.”

Casey’s mouth tightened as she felt a flicker of irritation rise, her jaw clenching. She didn’t want to hear this, didn’t want to remember it. You know what you want; you deserve what you want.

“People change, Amy,” she replied coldly. “Maybe I’ve just stopped letting everyone else’s problems weigh me down. I’ve moved on, and maybe you should too.”

Amy’s eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and disbelief. “You used to be the most caring person I knew. But now, you’re acting like everyone else should just fall in line because you’ve decided you’re entitled to anything you want.”

Casey’s face hardened. “I don’t need you or Liam lecturing me,” she snapped, her voice icy. “I’m finally going after what makes me feel good, and if that’s too much for you, maybe you should take a look at your own life.”

Amy’s face paled, her eyes wide with shock. “You know what? Fine,” she said, standing up, her chair scraping loudly against the floor. “But don’t come running to me when you realize you’ve pushed everyone who cares about you away.”

Casey met her gaze with a dismissive shrug. “If they can’t handle it, maybe I don’t need them anyway.”

Amy stood there for a moment, hurt and disbelief written across her face, before shaking her head and walking away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a few months later when Casey spotted Amy walking out of a bookstore. Casey’s heels clicked on the pavement as she approached, a slight smile playing on her lips as she adjusted the strap of her designer handbag. By her side was a man several years older, handsome and impeccably dressed in a tailored suit. He paused as Casey turned toward Amy, observing the interaction with quiet interest.

Amy looked up, her eyes widening as she recognized Casey. “Casey?” She hesitated, glancing at the man at her side before looking back at Casey. “I… I didn’t expect to see you.”

“Hello, Amy,” Casey replied, her tone calm. She glanced at her companion and gave a faint nod, and he offered a polite smile before stepping away to give them some privacy.

Amy took in Casey’s appearance, the designer clothes and effortless confidence, and forced a small, bittersweet smile. “It’s been a while,” she said, folding her arms. “You seem… well.”

“I am,” Casey replied, her eyes fixed on Amy, unwavering. “And I’m glad I ran into you, actually.” She tilted her head, her expression softening slightly. “I’ve decided I want you back in my life, Amy. I want my best friend back.”

Amy let out a soft, humorless laugh, shaking her head. “Casey… I don’t know what you expect, but I don’t think that’s possible. You’re not the person I used to know. You’re not even the kind of friend I can relate to anymore.”

Casey’s smile didn’t falter. In fact, it seemed to widen, a knowing glint in her eyes. “I know,” she said quietly, her voice edged with something unreadable.

Amy frowned, glancing down for a moment, but when she looked back up, Casey was studying her intently. “What—?” Amy started to ask, but then Casey murmured a phrase, a string of words that sounded strange and familiar all at once. Immediately, Amy’s vision blurred, and a sudden wave of dizziness washed over her.

Her hands reached out instinctively, one steadying herself on the brick wall beside her, the other gripping her temple. “Casey… what’s… happening?”

Casey took a step closer, her voice calm, almost soothing. “You see, Amy, after our last talk, I realized I deserved more than just a former friend. I deserved loyalty. I deserved my best friend back, and it turns out,” she smirked, “the hypnotherapist who helped you quit vaping was… very willing to help me, too. Just took a few compromising photos, and he was all too happy to follow my instructions.”

Amy’s dizziness intensified, her eyes unfocused as she struggled to process Casey’s words. She blinked, everything feeling hazy, as Casey’s voice continued.

“So, a few subtle sessions was all it took,” Casey said, her tone like silk. “One follow-up for vaping, another to help ‘reinforce’ your confidence, and I had him plant the right trigger. You see, Amy, I do know what I want, and I deserve what I want. I wanted you to be my best friend… forever.”

The dizziness began to ebb, and Amy slowly straightened, her movements controlled and precise. Her eyes focused, the uncertainty vanishing, replaced by a cold, devoted expression. She looked at Casey, her face suddenly serene, any trace of sadness or resistance erased. She flashed a smile devoid of warmth but filled with complete, unwavering loyalty.

“Casey,” Amy said softly, her voice calm and steady. “Of course. I’ll always be here for you.”

Casey’s own smile widened, satisfied. She took Amy’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “I knew you would. After all, best friends are loyal. Isn’t that right?”

Amy nodded, her gaze locked on Casey’s, an unbreakable bond reflected in her eyes. “For now and always,” she replied, her voice a whisper.

Casey released her hand, and turned to welcome the man waiting for her.  As he approached, Casey’s ruthless smile lingered, knowing she finally had everything she wanted.

[dontaskmemybias]

Pretty

Pairing: Idol!Lee Know x afab Ninth Member!reader Request: Yes Theme: Friends to Lovers Contains: Anxiety, Hurt/comfort, jealousy, teeny angst if you squint. There is no smut in this part, its all buildup lmao sorry but there will be smut in the next part. Word Count: 10k+ Note: This is a work of fiction and does not portray any of the members irl. I decided to go with a friends to lovers slow burn since you wanted a longer fic anon and I figured I could do a bit more like this, and I was correct, I started writing and just like never stopped? This has become a behemoth of a story and I'll be releasing it in two parts because damn. I know you requested this like a year ago but life happened hard, hopefully you still get to read it.

Author's Personal Note: This week has been awful. I can't describe how tired and scared I have been since Tuesday morning. I haven't written in almost a year because my motivation just was not there and I don't know if it was the existential dread or the overwhelming urge to just be in control of some narrative that drove me to start writing this absolute beast of a story but here we are. Enjoy it, don't, I don't really care either way.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Snow blankets the surrounding hills as you burrow yourself further into your winter puffer. The boys are all running around the field, throwing snowballs at each other and cackling wildly. You chuckle to yourself seeing their childlike display. You have all gathered to film SKZCode "Winter is Coming" (you and the boys had been binge watching Game of Thrones in your free time and decided to take a little inspiration from it for the title) You let out a laugh when you see Changbin nail Hyunjin in the back of the head with a snowball and in true Jinnie fashion Hyunjin dramatically flails on the ground until Changbin comes over to comfort him.

You had been through so much with these eight boys, late nights in the studio recording your parts until they were perfect, early mornings in the dance studio drilling choreography until it was perfect, you loved it all, but moments like these when you could all let loose and have some fun? Those were your favorites.

Being the only woman in the group was a bit of a challenge in some ways, but it was nice having eight guys to look out for you in every aspect of life. You had formed a bond with these guys over the years, each friendship blossoming and holding something unique.

If you ever needed a shoulder to cry on, you knew you could turn to your leader Bang Chan and he wouldn't just comfort you, he would help you figure out what to do. Only one year your senior and yet his wisdom was that of an 85 year old war vet. Chan was your rock.

Need workout tips or someone to belt girl group songs with? Changbin was your man. He was always willing to help you stay healthy, whether that be helping you with your fitness routine, or working on your mental health. Changbin was there for you when antis said you looked too fat and cheered you up all night. He was the ultimate hype man.

Felix was often in your dorm baking with you when you were stressed (stress baking is both a blessing and a curse). He would massage your shoulders when you got too tense. He really was the sunshine in your life.

Whenever you wanted to try something new—a restaurant, an online game, anything at all—Seungmin would join you. He would say he had been meaning to go there or try that anyway, and this just gave him an excuse, but you knew he did it, so you didn't ever feel lonely. He was like the little brother you never had.

You and Hyunjin bonded over your love for art. The two of you had done all the cheesy trends where you paint for ten minutes then swap paintings until they are both finished (it ended up with an abomination with a cat head and a wolf body, you named it Lee Bang after Felix, Bang Chan, and Lee Know, you both laughed so hard you were in tears) you also would often sketch one another to get better at portraits. Time spent with Hyunjin was always amazing.

Anytime you had a fashion emergency you knew you could count on Innie. He would roast your outfits when they were too "millennial sheik" as he would say, but then immediately assist. He was also great to couch rot and watch movies with on your off days. He was basically your bestie.

Anytime you were feeling down and you just really needed a good laugh you knew that you could turn to Jisung. You and Jisung had bonded very hard very early on because you both suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. The two of you had helped each other through so many at this point it was basically second nature. When you ugly sob in front of someone and they trust you enough to do it in return you know it's a friendship built to last. You and Jisung were basically soulmates.

Finally there was Minho. Your relationship with Minho was… interesting, to say the least. You grew close with him simply because he was your soulmate's soulmate. Anywhere Minho went, Jisung went, and anywhere Jisung went, you went. So the three of you grew very close very fast. Minho's sense of humor perfectly matched yours and the two of you would often bicker back and forth simply because it was fun and it often drove the other members crazy. The bickering started innocently enough, however, a few months ago something changed. The bickering you loved became… borderline flirty? The other members often referred to you both as a married couple and would call Jisung your son. It was all in good fun and it really didn't bother you, but every time someone outside the group made the same jokes, Minho would get this look on his face. You couldn't quite place the emotion behind it, but you recently found yourself thinking about it for much too long.

You are brought back to the present from your ruminating when something wet and cold hits the back of your head followed by maniacal laughter.

"Minnie, that was evil!" You try to sound mad but you can't hide the giggles that escape you at the younger boys' antics. He just sticks his tongue out as you and laughs while running away.

You are fully laughing now, trying to shake the snow out of your hair when you feel warm arms wrap around you from behind.

"You're shivering little moon bear" Minho's breathy chuckle ruffles your hair and you laugh.

Shuffling in his arms to face him you look up and pout. "It's cold out! Of course I'm shivering Min. And why do you insist on referring to me by my SKZOO?"

"Because I find the little pout you do every time I do adorable." He smirks down at you and you think the red adorning your ears is no longer just from the cold.

"YOH LOVEBIRDS GET OVER HERE IT'S TIME TO FILM!" Changbin's voice rings out over the set and you flinch a little which causes Minho to hold you just a bit tighter.

"Come on moon bear, time to film." He gently whispers to you while tucking you under his arm and leading you toward the group.

~✨~

Filming was going great! Sledding with a pitcher of water was pretty hard but you had loads of fun and managed not to come in last. When it came to the balloon popping portion Minho decided to come behind you like he had before filming and wrap his arms around you.

He leaned in to whisper in your ear "You looked cold again little moon bear." You chuckled when he began swaying you both side to side.

"You're going to start a dating rumor if you keep this up Min." You whispered back.

"Let people talk, how can I just stand by while my favorite girl freezes?" Your breath hitched a little at the comment, whispered so close to your ear you could almost feel his lips on your skin.

"Fair, but you have to deal with the staff if it becomes a problem." You sighed out, settling into his warm arms.

He was glued to you for the rest of the shoot.

~✨~

After getting home from the very fun, very cold, shoot, you decided to take a nice long hot shower and then maybe order some delivery when you got out.

You took your time in the shower until you were basically out of hot water then wrapped yourself in your fluffiest towel and went to the kitchen for some water. Your heart almost fell out of your ass and you let out a shriek when you walked by your living room and saw two people sitting on your couch.

"Y/NNIE My eardrums! Why did you have to scream so loud?" Jisung wailed from his spot on the couch.

"Yeah you baby it's just us damn." Minho scoffed. They both froze when they turned and saw you in just a towel, Minho's ears turning a fiery red and Jisung's eyes going wide. They both quickly looked away and started stammering out apologies, not realizing your state of dress. You let out a giggle at their reactions.

"Chill guys, you act like you've never seen a girl in a towel before, you just scared the shit out of me because I didn't know you were coming." They both let out a little laugh at that and relaxed a bit into the couch, still looking anywhere other than at your towel-clad form.

"Sorry, we wanted to surprise you with Kimchi Jjigae since you were so cold today and maybe watch some movies?" Jisung said quietly.

"You brought food? Ignore my previous complaints, Ji, Min, you are both angels who could do no wrong and I love you with all my heart! Let me put some clothes on then we can watch whatever you want yeah?"

"Yeah" "Sounds good" The boys yelled back as you went to your room to change.

You all spent the rest of the night tangled up on the couch watching shitty rom-coms

~✨~

The next morning after dance practice you get home and shower then realize that you're finally going to have a morning free the next day. Scrolling through your phone looking for things to do you come across a poster for the newest horror flick that's showing tonight. You screenshot it and drop it into the group chat titled "SoulBros" Jisung's idea.

SoulBros:

JiJi😘🥰😂: Oh hell no! That movie looks way too scary! Sorry love ur on ur own.

Min😈😘😜: Sorry I promised Lix I would help him with the new choreo.

🌝Bear: You both suck :/ Guess I'll go alone.

JiJi😘🥰😂: Noona ur so old just use emojis 😑

You laugh at Ji's dig; it is accurate. You guess it's time to pull out the big guns. You dial the number on your phone, and on the third ring, it picks up.

"Yes old lady?" You scoff at his (fake) disrespect.

"Minnie, I want to go see the new horror movie tonight because we have a free morning tomorrow but Ji is too scared to come and Minho is busy. Should I go alone?" You bite back your smile knowing what he is going to say.

Seungmin's voice cracks a bit over the phone call and you hear sheets rustling. "That new one about the witch in the woods? I've actually been wanting to see that too but everyone's too scared to come with me. I could go with you if you want?" You smile to yourself, you knew he wouldn't let you go to the movies alone, let alone to a horror film.

~✨~

"That was INSANE! I had no idea he had a brother the whole time!" You are bouncing up and down, filled with adrenaline from the movie.

"Yeah, that was a twist I actually didn't see coming. Pretty crazy." Seungmin is acting all calm but you know he enjoyed the movie as well.

"Hey Minnie, thanks for coming with me. I had a really fun time!" You say while ruffling his hair.

"Yeah yeah, like I said, I wanted to see it too."

"Hey wanna go grab some food before we go home? There's this hot pot spot nearby I've been dying to try!" You look at him with puppy-dog eyes and he lets out a sigh.

"Yeah I'm pretty hungry, and hot pot does sound amazing right about now."

~✨~

After stuffing your faces at the new hot pot place you finally made your way back home. Walking in you let out a long satisfied sigh and take off your shoes.

"Someone's home late." You nearly jump out of your skin at the grumbly voice coming from your living room.

"Jesus Fuck Min one of these days you're gonna give me a heart attack!" You yell out while grabbing a blanket from your armchair and bringing it to the couch where you unceremoniously plop down next to Minho who acts annoyed at your proximity but is quick to wrap an arm around you.

"Where were you? I've been here for like thirty minutes." He almost sounds… worried? Angry? You can't place it.

"Oh I just went to see that movie I texted you and Ji about then went and got some hot pot."

"Alone?"

"Oh no, Minnie came with me. Said he had been wanting to see the movie too but you know that kid, he just doesn't like me doing things alone." Minho grumbles something that you can't quite make out but then squeezes you to his side and turns on the TV.

"What was that Min?"

"I would've gone with you." He looks you dead in the eyes when he says it. You can't figure it out but it almost seems like he's mad at you?

"Well sorry Min, you said you were busy and I didn't know you wanted to see the movie too, I'd see it again if you wanted to go see it?" You try smiling at him to quell whatever was going on with him and it seems to work because he cracks a tiny smile and just pulls you closer to him while putting on the first shitty rom-com he sees.

~✨~

It was finally time for the next SKZCode! The staff didn't tell anyone what these episodes would be about but said you would all have fun.

You walked into the studio and saw a giant game board and war flashbacks of the last time you all played monopoly flashed through your mind. Images of Hyunjin screaming at Seungmin for putting a hotel on the most expensive rent on the board and Seungmin's shit-eating grin flashed through your mind.

The staff quickly explained the game and everyone got super excited. SoulRACHA was glued together any chance you got as per usual and everything was going great… until they announced the heart fluttering game.

Now, you wouldn't say your heart fluttered easily, if Felix had tried to get your heart racing you're sure you would be fine. Changbin? Piece of cake. Of course, you've never been very lucky.

You get paired with Minho. The expert at getting you worked up. (When you bicker! Get your mind out of the gutter.)

"Will you be able to hear what we say?" Minho tries to look innocent as he asks the question, but you can already feel the heat rising to your cheeks.

"Only if you speak loudly, we decided it would be more fun if STAY can't hear what you whisper to each other." One of the staff quickly explains.

Minho's grin turns sinister and a single thought crosses your mind.

I am so fucked.

Minho stalks toward you once the camera starts rolling and comes around behind you to wrap his arms around you like always. You can handle this, this is normal for you two. Your heart rate stays the same.

You feel him lean in until his lips are almost touching your ear.

"Hey there, little moon bear. This skirt you wore today is very pretty, did you wear it for STAY or for me?" He whispers so only you can hear. He is so close to you that you feel his breath tickling your ear.

The ears wiggle a little bit then settle. You can do this Y/N, Pull it together.

Minho notices and chuckles, pulling you tighter against him.

"I'm sure your pretty skirt would look even better with someone's hands underneath it."

You let out a gasp and the guys go wild. You know STAY's are going to have a field day with this footage. You are now squirming in Minho's tight grip, trying to escape his now searing hands, bright red spreading across your face.

Minho almost sounds surprised when he breathes out "Shit."

You think about his words and his arms wrapped around you all night.

~✨~

MinBear has become your official ship name from STAY's, after Minho's stunt during the last SKZCode STAY have been posting online about the possibility of you two dating.

You, Minho, and Jisung just laugh about it whenever it gets brought up and everything seems to go back to normal between you and Minho.

If you dream about him whispering those words in your ear at night, well that's just nobody's business.

~✨~

During the next SKZCode the staff decides to play into STAY's delusions and make you and Minho play husband and wife. The catch? Minho is the wife.

~✨~

"HAHAHA HYUNG, NOONA, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!" Innie's voice carries across the room when you and Minho walk into the room. Minho is in the brown wig from SKZ Family, a gaudy pink dress with far too many ruffles, and ballet flats with little pink bows on them while you are wearing a wig with a receding hairline (bye bye idol image), a flannel shirt, and blue jeans. The boys all burst out laughing when you two strike a pose and show off your "wedding rings" (they are blue raspberry ring pops).

"Hello everyone! I am Joe and this is my second wife Mindy!" You smile at the group and they all start howling with laughter one again.

You both decided to play into the roles WAY too much to hopefully show STAY that you two really are just best friends. You don't need the dating rumors to turn into a full blown scandal.

"Oh baby, dear, my loveliest little sunflower, who do you think is the killer?" You turn to Minho and try to hold back your laughter at seeing him wrestle with the ruffles that keep coming up from the collar and tickling his nose.

"Oh my handsome, manly, bravest lionheart, I think it was that barista for sure!" He looks up and bats his eyelashes at you for dramatic effect.

And for some reason, instead of spewing back some heinously cheesy line, you are struck with a totally unwelcome thought.

Minho is so Pretty.

What the fuck?

~✨~

The rest of the shoot goes by fairly quickly. It devolves into chaos, as things normally do with the nine of you. But the rest of the time you are a little more fidgety than usual. The unwelcome thought about your best friend Minho burrowing into your brain until it fully settles and the shoot is over and you are left with the realization that your best friend is pretty.

You'd rather not unpack that.

~✨~

A few weeks pass by and you successfully manage to bury your realization about Minho deep in your subconscious to the point where you haven't thought about it in two whole days! (That's impressive! Really! You initially thought about it at least five times a day… okay like five times an hour)

Finally the group had a whole weekend off! No SKZCode, no crazy schedules, just you, your two best friends, a mountain of takeout and snacks, and a movie marathon.

"Pass the popcorn Ji!" You made grabby hands at Jisung and he just laughed and passed over the bowl.

"Oi! Ya big babies scooch and make some room I wanna be in the middle." Minho yelled out, passing you both a soju bottle.

"Oooohh hyung you know me so well! I love the Strawberry soju!" Jisung grabbed his bottle, smiling up at Minho.

"And you got me yogurt flavored? You must really love us Min!" You smiled up at Minho.

Minho looked down at Jisung then over to you where his eyes lingered a beat too long. You held eye contact until it was a bit too much for you and you looked away. You heard Minho let out a small chuckle as he sat between you and Jisung.

"A toast! To my two best friends, Soulmates, and other cheesy shit!" Minho laughed while raising his own soju.

"To other cheesy shit!" You and Ji said in unison, toasting and gulping down some soju.

You three continued drinking and laughing and having a blast while the movies played in the background. At some point Minho had put his arms around you and Ji and the two of you were snuggling into him watching the movie. You were pulled out of your focus when you started to hear soft snoring coming from Minho's lap where Jisung's head was resting. You smiled and reached over to softly comb your fingers through his hair. You felt Minho softly chuckle under you and you lifted your head to meet his eyes where he was smiling down fondly at you and Ji.

"You two are so adorable, " he said softly, trying not to wake Jisung. You smiled, and your hazy mind decided that was the moment to open the box you had sealed shut weeks ago.

"You're so pretty Min." You all but whispered the words, but Minho heard you loud and clear. His breath lightly hitched and he raised his hand to stroke your cheek.

"You are so beautiful my little moon bear."

~✨~

Weeks passed and the movie night incident was never spoken of. The shared moment between you and Minho had been something so soft and intimate you were afraid of what you would say if he ever brought it up. But thankfully he never did. So you just went on with your life. Your schedule was about to get busy again anyway so there was plenty to keep it out of your mind… right?

~✨~

You can't get it out of your head. No matter what you do it is all you can think about and it is stressing you out. So you do what you do every time you get stressed.

You bake.

After gathering all the ingredients you snap a picture and send it off to Felix.

Y/nnie🤩🧁: [Photo Attached]

Lixxie🍰🍫: I'm on my way.

Felix knew you really only baked when you were stressed out since you never really had the time but the act made you calm down a bit so when he got the picture of all the baking supplies he must have known that you needed a friend because not even twenty minutes later there you were in your kitchen baking enough brownies to feed a small town.

"Soooo, you gonna tell me what brought this stress baking spree on?" He asked softly like he was coaxing a cat out from under the bed. You almost wanted to laugh.

"What gave me away?" You laughed.

"Well when you are baking just to bake you usually only make enough for the nine of us, this is enough to feed the whole company Y/nnie, so tell me what's going on?" You let out a breath you didn't realize you'd been holding and put down your baking tools.

"Lix I don't even know what's going on to be honest. Things with one of my good friends have recently gotten a little…tense? Weird? I don't know. And I don't know if it's just me or if they are feeling it too you know?" Felix is looking at you like he knows exactly what you're talking about and you briefly panic wondering if he can read minds. Then he lets out a sigh and pulls you in for a hug. You melt into his familiar embrace and allow him to hold you while he slowly speaks.

"Things being weird between friends is never fun. In my experience the best way to fix things is through open communication. Just tell this person what you feel and see if they feel the same then go from there." He says while slowly stroking your hair.

"That's the issue Lix, I don't know what I am feeling."

"Ah, well that seems like a good place to start then yeah?"

~✨~

You haven't had time to think about what you and Lix had talked about. Between recording and practicing choreography you barely had time to eat let alone think. So you focused on work. For now.

The next scheduled SKZCode was going to be a haunted house.

Now here's the thing. Haunted houses are objectively not scary. HOWEVER, if someone with you jumps, you tend to jump as well. If someone screams, so do you. So if you are paired with a scaredy cat, you will get scared. And the staff love to make you seem extra cutesy since you are the only girl so of course you get paired with Minho and Jisung.

Jisung is going to get scared. You know in your heart that he is going to scream and he might even cry. Minho on the other hand is going to try and scare you and Ji, and it is going to work. You know this because the three of you have gone to haunted houses together before and that is exactly what happened.

So you resigned yourself to your fate.

~✨~

"Noona, hyung, I am so scared, what if a real monster snuck on set and is hiding with the staff members and it sees us and eats us?" Ji whimpered as he clung onto one of Minho's arms.

"Sungie that's silly, a monster wouldn't eat us here on camera, it would follow us home and eat us there so there was no proof!" Minho snickers as you whack his side.

"Don't scare our poor Ji any more than he already is Min! His poor little heart can't take it!" you hiss at him under your breath. Your slightly shaky voice gives away the fact that you too were getting scared.

"Oh relax y/nnie, Sungie and you are gonna be just fine with me here to protect you." Minho said softly while squeezing you a little more into his side.

Well that was new. He'd usually make fun of you for getting scared and try to rile you up even more. But his tone… it was the same one he had used during the movie night.

That was definitely something you didn't want to think about right now while you were on camera.

You continued through the haunted house, nothing really getting to you, until you opened one room and walked into complete darkness.

Your breath hitched and you clung to Minho a bit tighter. He responded by rubbing soothing circles onto your arm and pulling you a bit closer into his side.

The lights came on and a staff in a costume jumped out and scared you. You and Jisung started screaming and Minho flung himself in front of you. Your eyes widened at the gesture and you looked over to Jisung only to see him looking between you and Minho with a questioning look on his face. This was definitely going to cause a dating scandal if you didn't do something quick, so without skipping a beat you grabbed Jisung and dramatically clung to him. He seemed to get the message and reciprocated. The both of you clinging onto one another while yelling. The whole scene was honestly quite hilarious and adorable.

Minho seemed to come out of it and turned around to see his two best friends clinging onto one another dramatically and cracked a smile before full blown laughing at you two. You and Jisung slowly looked at one another and slowly detangled your limbs, then burst out laughing.

With the tension dissipated you all went through the rest of the haunted house without any further incidents.

Yet Minho's tone rang in your ears, reminding you of what he said last time

"You are so beautiful my little moon bear."

~✨~

The next SKZCode was coming up and the group had been gushing about it the whole time. A camping trip! You would get to play games with the guys, eat delicious food, and even go fishing! The catch? You would all be sleeping on the floor in the same room. Normally this would be no problem. You would cuddle up with Jisung and Minho and all would be good. Now though?

You decided to finally listen to Felix and figure out what you were feeling by laying out some facts.

Fact one: You think Minho is pretty, like unfairly pretty, but then again so does everyone else. So that could mean anything really.

Fact two: Minho acted really weird when you went to the movies with Seungmin, something you do very frequently. You have no clue what that was.

Fact three: When Minho whispered something dirty in your ear it caused something to flutter in you. He was just joking and trying to get your heart racing for the game so surely it meant nothing right?

Fact four: You called Minho pretty and he called you beautiful. You had said things like that before but never whispered and inches from each other's faces… That one… you don't know what to do with.

Fact five: You are clueless as to what all this means.

Cool. Well that was a waste of time.

~✨~

You and the boys piled out of the cars and started to get everything ready for the night. You split off into groups, people needed to go shopping, people needed to cook, people decided to do each other's hair? Not really sure what that has to do with camping but you, Minho, and Jisung gave each other silly little hairdos and everything was great. The day absolutely flew by and you were doing so great not thinking about the way Minho makes you feel.

Finally you were all seated around the campfire. Jisung got saddled with cooking everyone breakfast in the morning and even though he is your best friend you do not want to wake up early so you start to devise a plan to get out of it.

Chan peels Jisung a sweet potato to appeal to him. Damn that's hard to top. You are scrambling to come up with something to top that and miss what is being said until you hear Minho's voice.

"I won't be fake either. I love you."

Everyone burst out laughing at Minho's proclamation to Jisung but you feel… weird. You are looking between Jisung and Minho and there's this pit in your stomach, almost like…

No

No fucking way.

No way are you jealous right now.

Jisung and Minho are best friends just like you and Minho and you and Ji are… and yet…

Shit.

Everything starts to make sense, the bickering, the playful flirting, the butterflies in your stomach.

You have a huge fucking crush on Lee Minho.

As you come to this realization, you lock eyes with him from across the campfire. His smirk softens, and he gently smiles at you.

Oh fuck, what are you going to do?

~✨~

You all lay down for the night and as usual you are sandwiched between your two boys, not so usual, you are clinging to Ji like your life depends on it and are slowly scooting further from Minho's touch.

He giggles probably thinking you are messing with him and grabs your waist to pull you flush to him.

"Where do you think you're going, little moon bear?" He whispers into your ear.

You almost whimper. Almost. You manage to pull your shit together because you are all still on camera and make a show of grabbing for Jisung in front of you.

"I'm cold! I need Ji's heat or else I'll die in the night!" You say dramatically, trying to play it off. Minho must buy it because he remains silent behind you and the three of you get cozy before eventually falling asleep.

~✨~

You wake up in the morning With Minho's entire body wrapped around you. Jisung is trying to get up so he can go to the store with Chan.

"Noona, I've got to go so I can make you breakfast, promise I'll be back soon." Jisung laughs as you pout at him leaving you and you sigh and grumble. You are still a bit cold so you shimmy around so you are now facing Minho.

He is still asleep, so you allow yourself to look at him. You take in his cute little bunny teeth, the little mole on his nose, and his eyelashes fluttering. Oh, his eyes are open, and he caught you staring.

Well that's fucking embarrassing.

He just smiles and pulls you in a little tighter, looking back at you. His eyes pass from your eyes, to your freckles, and down to your lips where he lingers for a moment too long. Then he looks back into your eyes.

"Good morning moon bear." He softly whispers. You feel his breath fan against your face and you try not to let your eyelashes flutter at the action.

"Good morning Min." You whisper back. His eyelashes do flutter and you have to hold yourself back from jumping to any conclusions. For a few moments you just gaze into each other's eyes in silence. Finally he reaches a hand up and brushes your cheek.

"Beautiful." It's the smallest whisper but you are barely an inch from his face so you catch it. Minho adjusts his hand so he is now cupping your cheek and your heart starts to hammer in your chest.

Is he about to kiss you?

"Min." It's a breathless whisper, you're so close to him now you're sure he felt it more than heard it.

"WHO WANTS RAMYEON?!" Jisung's voice wakes everyone up and the moment passes. Minho's eyes close and he seems to be frustrated.

You are dying inside.

Was he about to kiss you?

~✨~

The day passes too quickly. You all eat and play games and everything is totally normal on the surface. You have to be normal because you are being filmed. Minho doesn't act any differently, he certainly doesn't bring up the almost-maybe kiss. You decide that if he wants to talk about it then he will talk to you. So you do what you do best.

You perform for the camera and ignore your stupid feelings.

~✨~

You're full on spiraling at this point. Every time you close your eyes you see Minho gazing into your eyes, about to pull you in.

You shake your head. No, this isn't real. Your silly little crush is making you delusional. Minho wasn't going to kiss you, he just called you beautiful and held your face because… because… well you can't think of another explanation, but there must be one because it has been days and Minho hasn't brought it up and if he wanted to kiss you then surely he would have brought it up… right?

Fuck this.

The next SKZCode is coming up and you can just focus on that and not Minho's sparkling eyes, his plush lips, his little nose mole… Fuck. You are officially down bad.

Well you know what that means.

It's time to do something stupid.

~✨~

"Innie! I need your help!" You shout as you walk into the boys dorm. The brunette pops his head out of his door and looks you up and down.

"Yeah I'd say you definitely do." He says distastefully.

"Damn child who raised you?"

"Definitely not you Noona or I'd be dressing like a Target commercial."

You both burst out laughing at that.

"Fair point, but seriously, I need your opinion on what to wear for the next SKZCode."

"Oooh a fashion emergency? Of course you would come to me! Well come right in Noona, we will fix that god awful outfit you've got on in no time!"

He grabbed your hand and dragged you into the room.

"So are we going for Kawaii like usual or did you want to look like one of the guys? I know this is acrobatics so we are looking more toward athleisure type outfits." I.N. says all of this while digging through his closet looking for the stash of your clothes he hid in there.

"Well I was actually thinking I wanted to look… sexy?…" I.N. froze in his closet when you spoke. "I mean obviously not like crazy sexy or anything I just want to look really good you know? Not like a cute little girl and not boyish either. Does that make sense?" I.N. stood up and slowly turned to look at you with a Cheshire grin on his face.

"Noona. I have been waiting my whole life to hear you say those words."

~✨~

You look hot. Holy fuck you have never looked this good in front of the guys. Even at premieres and shows you've always been kawaii or dudebro to match the guys but this? The crop top Innie puts you in fits you in all the best ways, it's low cut enough to be provocative but not enough to be slutty. The back is cut out and it is the perfect shade for your skin tone. But the pants. My god your ass has never looked more smackable. It's like I.N. knew exactly who your target audience was. Your hair is done up in a cute curled pony with the little strands hanging out the front.

You look like sex on legs.

"Jesus Innie you're a god at this."

"I know, I take payment in food and coffee."

"Innie I'd buy you a five course meal for this shit god damn."

You both started laughing and he reached behind him to grab something.

"The final touch."

~✨~

You walked into the studio and it suddenly got very quiet. All the boys were looking at you with varying expressions.

"So? What do you all think? Didn't I do an amazing job?" I.N. grinned at the rest of the guys who were ranging from outright ogling you to shyly avoiding your gaze.

"Yeah Innie you did great." Chan was the first to speak and after that the compliments kept flowing from everyone except the one person you wanted.

Oh well. Onto phase two.

~✨~

You made sure to get a spot right in front of Minho so he could see the full extent of Innie's 'final touch'. A bow in your hair long enough to basically make a runway to the swell of your ass.

The episode went by pretty fast, you were actually having a lot of fun doing all the poses. You noticed when you did the mermaid pose Minho made a noise, a grunt? Maybe a gasp? Whatever it was you were certain your plan was working. Now all you had to do was actually talk to him about what you felt like Felix had recommended.

Once the episode was over you headed over to Minho.

"Hey, Min, you got a sec?" You put your hands behind your back to maximize the silhouette's effect.

"Actually no, sorry, I've got to get home, lots of stuff to get done. I'll text you later okay?" Minho was avoiding your eyes and shuffling from one foot to the other.

"Oh, okay… I guess I'll talk to you later?" You leaned your head down to catch his eye and when he finally locked eyes with you his gaze was searing and sent a chill down your spine.

"Yeah."

~✨~

Well that was fucking weird and definitely not the reaction you had been hoping for. Mr. Self proclaimed butt hunter didn't even attempt to slap your ass in these phenomenal leggings you wore just for him. You groaned into your pillow and allowed yourself to feel frustrated. Any time you had big feelings like this there was always one thing that helped.

You shot Hyunjin a text and after receiving a confirmation you headed to the art studio.

~✨~

Lo-fi music playing on the speaker, a nice hot cup of coffee sitting next to you, and a medium blank canvas sat in front of you, what more could you want? You let the atmosphere wash over you as you tried to use your frustration to create a work of art.

You have no idea how much time has passed, you never do when you're painting with Hyunjin. You could occasionally hear his soft humming and brush-strokes glide across his canvas.

Time with Hyunjin always seemed to calm you down. Maybe it was the chill playlist he favored for the occasion, maybe it was the smell of coffee in the air, or maybe it was the way he simply existed with you in the moment, not requiring you to engage.

You added the final touches on the canvas and nodded to yourself.

"Hyune?" Hyunjin hummed in response.

"What do you think of this one?" You gestured to the finished piece in front of you. Hyunjin stood up and stretched before coming over to admire your work.

"It feels… lonely. Like you are reaching for something in the distance but it's too far away for you to grasp." You simply hummed in response and Hyunjin laid his head on your shoulder.

"I like it Y/N, it's…" He went silent for a moment before sighing and wrapping his arms around you.

"It's beautiful."

~✨~

Weeks had passed since the failed seduction attempt on your part and Minho had been annoyingly 'busy' so you hadn't really seen him outside of your work schedule. The distance was getting to you and you started to wonder if you had done something wrong. Minho had never gone this long without reaching out to hang out or simply showing up at your apartment in years. You couldn't shake the feeling that he was avoiding you and it hurt. A lot. That hurt turned to borderline anger when you saw on Ji's story that he and Minho were having a movie night.

Without you.

You checked the group chat to see if you had missed an invite but there hadn't been a message in over a week since Ji had sent you both a cat meme. Maybe Minho noticed your attempt at flirting and decided that ghosting you was better than outright rejection? Even if that was the case the two of you were both close with Ji and not to mention your co-workers, so how could he just cut you out like that? Jisung hadn't even mentioned the movie night and that hurt you too.

Were you losing both your best friends because you had some stupid feelings?

You felt yourself starting to spiral but before you hit the point of no return you took some calming breaths and closed your eyes. You could not break, not now, you had a busy schedule coming up so you focused on that instead.

Thankfully, it was time to film the next SKZCode so at least you got to do something fun. You prepared yourself to get into the Christmas spirit.

~✨~

The staff welcomed you all in and explained the premise of the episode. You were all going to play games and try and win someone over to end up partnered by the end. You immediately thought of MinBear and how much STAY would love to see the two of you end up together before remembering that you and Minho were currently fighting.

Okay maybe not fighting but it's not like you are exactly on speaking terms. The only communication you'd had in weeks was him correcting you in dance practice.

You couldn't go to Ji either, You were mad at him too. Okay mad is maybe an overstatement but you were definitely not happy.

That left the obvious choice.

You decided to set your sights on Felix. You figured the kawaii image you were presenting mixed with his sunshine would be adorable for STAY. To your credit it works pretty well… for about five minutes. You're not sure what exactly happened but one minute you were fake-flirting with Lix, trying to match up with him, the next he is shyly moving away from you and talking to Hyunjin.

You're confused to say the least, that is until you feel soft breaths on your neck.

"Awh are you eating all alone little moon bear? Don't worry, I'll sit with you." You fight the shudders that threaten to run down your spine hearing Minho's voice so close to you after him being so distant for so long.

"Oh, so you're talking to me now huh Min?" You mean to sound angry but it barely masks the hurt in your softly spoken words. You look down at your lap to hide the tears welling up in your eyes.

Minho goes quiet for a moment then gently pulls your face up, angled away from the camera so STAY couldn't see your tear-laden eyes. A small gasp comes from his mouth.

"Jagi…" He softly whispers before hugging you tight to his chest. "Y/N, sweetheart, why are you crying?" He whispers in your hair to shield his lips from the camera.

"It's nothing Min, I'm okay. Let's just keep eating or STAY will worry about us."

"I don't care if STAY worries, my favorite girl is crying and I'm going to comfort her." You pull away a bit at his words to look into his eyes.

"I'm still your favorite girl?" You whisper the question and you hear Minho's small sound of disbelief at your question.

"Of course jagiya, you've always been my favorite girl. Let's talk more after the skit yeah?"

"Okay."

~✨~

Minho makes sure to stick by your side the rest of the shoot. The two of you end up a pair at the end and as you walk out of the room, prepared to head to the recording studio you are surprised when Minho leads you out the door instead.

"Min, where are we going? Channie oppa told us to go to the recording booth after the shoot."

"I texted him and told him that you needed the afternoon off because you weren't feeling well and that I was going to come take care of you. He said it was okay, so I'm taking you home."

"Oh, okay then."

You both remain silent as you approach the company car and Minho opens the door for you and you both slide in. The ride is unusually quiet for the two of you and you are worried that Minho might be mad at you for something and the longer the silence continues, the higher your anxiety spikes.

By the time you reach your apartment you have over-analyzed every interaction the two of you have had over the past few weeks and you have convinced yourself that Minho actually just hates you and is taking you home to break the news in private so none of the cameras catch you crying again.

You are panicking. You can't lose him because of some stupid attraction you may feel. He is one of your best friends and losing him would be devastating.

Once you reach the door of your apartment you are so close to having a panic attack that your hands start shaking as you try to insert your key into the lock. Minho stands and waits while you shakily unlock and open the door. Once you are inside you are frozen in place waiting for the worst.

Then Minho gathers you in his arms and holds you tight.

"It's okay jagi, you're safe here." He whispers as he starts rubbing soothing circles on your back. You don't even realize you are crying again until he lifts your head by your chin and wipes your tears away. You smile softly and Minho returns it.

You are okay. He is not mad at you. Everything is alright.

"Come on sweetheart, let's go cuddle on the couch and watch a shitty rom-com."

You silently nod and he leads you both to the couch. You sit, his arms still wrapped around you as he guides you to rest your head on his chest. You both stay like that as he starts up one of your favorite movies.

You both watch the movie, Minho rubbing soothing circles on your skin while you nuzzle into his warmth. It is quiet for some time until Minho lets out a deep sigh.

"I'm sorry I made you worry Y/N, I really was busy and some things came up and I just needed a guys night with Ji, I hope you understand I am not mad at you and you are still my favorite girl." Minho's words made you smile and you sunk further into his embrace.

"It's okay Min, I guess I just felt left out and it messed with me for a minute but I get it. We are good." You looked up into his eyes and in a whisper added:

"Promise."

~✨~

There was an electric feeling in the air. You and the boys were beyond excited for your second world tour. This time you were going to go back to Chan and Felix's home country. The two aussies had spent entirely too much time teaching you and the boys all the important aussie slang you would need and helping you all with your English.

The Maniac tour was set to be your biggest endeavor as a group yet. Minho was drilling the choreo into everyone relentlessly and often spent his free time one-on-one helping each member who asked. Ji was always in the studio with his fellow 3Racha members to ensure everything was perfect. And you? You were spending every free moment you could with Felix trying to perfect your English so you could communicate with the international STAYs.

It was overwhelming but you all pushed yourselves to the limit because you wanted to be amazing for STAY.

Finally the day came and it was time for your first concert.

The lights were blinding and the stadium was so loud you could barely hear yourself think.

It was exhilarating.

The concert went by so fast and you had such a great time with your fellow members.

You were still in Seoul but it all felt new, you couldn't believe you and your boys had made it this far.

The next two shows flew by and your time in Japan was short. You and the boys tried your best to keep filming your logs for the STAYs who couldn't make it to the shows. Everything was amazing.

Finally it was time to head overseas to America. U.S. STAYs were much louder than your STAYs back home. The atmosphere was incredible and you all had the time of your lives performing in the U.S. again. You and the boys tried to speak as much English as you could but it is a hard language for you all so you relied heavily on the aussies for translation help.

In between shows you, Ji, and Min would hole up in one of your hotel rooms and gush about how much fun this all was and how excited you all were to finally go to Australia. You would watch bits of movies before ultimately passing out in a cuddle pile on someone's bed, only to wake up and repeat the next day.

The days flew by and before you knew it it was time to hop on a plane headed to Chan and Felix's home. You all made sure you had time planned to meet their families and have a good time while in the land down under.

When you arrived at the hotel to check in, the staff found out that there was a mistake and only seven rooms had been booked. Someone must have thought Chan and Felix were staying with their families but they simply lived too far from the concert venues. After a very long flight and eager to sleep off your jet lag, everyone was too tired to argue about who would be sharing rooms until Minho spoke up.

"Y/N, Ji, and I have kinda been sharing this whole tour anyway, we may as well just share a room from the get-go if that is okay with everyone else?"

The staff looked bewildered at Minho's suggestion. A girl sharing a room with two boys? That's quite unusual. But the other members were used to you three having slumber parties all the time back home and just shrugged it off insisting that if you were fine with it so were they.

So, you three headed up to your shared room.

~✨~

"Ugh, I could sleep for like a week at this point." Jisung groaned out before promptly falling face-first onto the nearest bed to him.

"Yah! Hannie, you know I like sleeping further from the door, give Y/N that bed and you and I can share the other." Minho glared at the younger boy already getting comfortable in the bed.

"Hyuuuunnnggg I'm already in this one though." Jisung whined out and sank further under the covers.

"Min it's okay, Ji can have that bed and you and I can just share the other. I prefer being close to the window anyway." You said sleepily before heading over to the far bed and setting up your stuff on the nightstand.

"Are you sure Y/nnie? I can kick the lazy quokka out if you'd prefer a bed to yourself."

"I'm sure Min, we all have been sleeping on one bed almost every night of the tour anyway, I'm kind of used to having someone next to me anyway." You shrugged and gathered your sleep clothes.

"I'm gonna go shower real quick, airplanes always make me feel greasy, either of you need to use the bathroom before I go?" You asked the two. Jisung had already passed out and you and Minho just laughed at the sleepy boy before Minho looked up at you.

"No, you're all good. I'll shower after you too so our bed doesn't get gross like Sungie's." You both started laughing and you went to the bathroom and hopped in the shower.

While in the shower you let your thoughts roam. You had been so busy with the tour and Jisung had been stuck with you and Minho the whole time as well so you hadn't had time to think about your maybe-feelings for Minho. Now you were confronted with the fact that while you all were here there would be no escaping to your own room if things got too weird for you.

Not just that but you were sharing a bed with him.

You and Minho had slept in the same bed many times but you were almost always accompanied by Jisung as well. Now it would just be the two of you…

It won't be weird if you don't make it weird.

Right?

~✨~

You finally got out of the shower and changed into your pajamas. After doing your skincare you came out of the bathroom and stopped in place when you looked up and saw a shirtless Minho standing in the middle of the room. His back was facing you and you took a second to admire his strong shoulder muscles down to the dip in his back, just above the hem of his shorts. You could've stood there staring forever but when Minho started to pull down his shorts you made a small noise, something between a whimper and a groan. Minho stiffened and dramatically turned toward you with a hand over his pecs.

"Y/N! Sorry! I didn't hear you come out. I was going to change into my robe before going in after you. Sorry about that. I'll just… bring it with me." The tips of his ears were a fiery red and you're sure you were no better. You could feel yourself blushing and you quickly looked down and nodded as he passed by you and quickly went into the bathroom to shower.

Well that didn't help your situation.

You crawled into bed and tried to calm yourself down but every time you closed your eyes you just saw a shirtless Minho again. You lightly groaned and turned your body away from the bathroom and tried to will yourself to fall asleep before Minho came back so you didn't have to face him.

Of course that didn't work. You had been so tired when you got here but now you were like a live wire and you knew that sleep would not come easily.

When Minho returned from his shower he said nothing as he slowly climbed into the bed next to you. It was quiet for a moment before he broke the silence.

"Sooo… do you want to cuddle?" He said it slowly and quietly and you internally screamed. There is no way you would fall asleep if Minho was touching you… and yet.

"Yeah, that sounds nice." You quietly answered.

Minho scooted closer to you and wrapped an arm around your waist, holding you tightly.

"Is this good?" He whispered. You could feel how close he was when he spoke, his breath tickling your ear.

"Yeah, it's perfect."

You were so fucked.

~✨~

Just as you thought, it took you forever to fall asleep. However, when you woke up you felt completely relaxed, you had somehow gotten the best night's sleep you had had in a very long time. You slowly came to consciousness and the first thing you noticed was a hair on your face tickling your nose. You realized there was some sort of breeze on your face, cracking an eye open and you bit back a squeak at the sight before you.

You had shifted in the night and were now, yet again, face-to-face with a sleeping Minho. His arms were wrapped tightly around you and your legs were tangled. He was beautiful like this. Soft breaths coming out from him as he peacefully slept. You stared at him in wonder and decided that a few more moments of this wouldn't hurt.

After some time passed Minho eventually began to stir. He groaned and hugged you a bit tighter before opening his eyes. You were both quiet, allowing the peaceful moment in an otherwise chaotic few months. You softly smiled and he returned it.

"G'morning jagi." He whispered, trying not to break the peaceful atmosphere the two of you were caught in.

"Good morning sleepyhead." You softly chuckled and he giggled in return, nuzzling slightly closer to you.

"I could get used to this, you know?" He whispered, now inches from your face. You breath hitched at his comment and before you could respond there was a loud banging on your door.

"YAH WAKE UP LAZY BUMS IT'S TIME TO GET READY!" Chan's voice rang out and Minho groaned, closing his eyes and tilting his head back. You heard Jisung yelp from the other bed at Chan's command.

"Time to go." Minho groaned.

~✨~

The next few days were a blur. The Aussie STAYs were crazy. The concerts were so much fun but you were all so exhausted that by the time you got back to the hotel it took all of your energy to shower before crawling back into bed.

You and Minho slept in each other's arms every night.

Once the concerts were over you were all invited to the Bang residence for dinner. All nine of you laughed and ate and bonded with Chan's family. It was amazing and you never wanted it to end, but eventually it was time to go. You and Hannah exchanged numbers, her saying you needed a girl friend being surrounded by the eight loud boys all the time. You laughed and agreed, saving her number immediately.

You would cherish the time you got to spend in Australia forever.

~✨~

The rest of the tour flew by, the nine of you really giving it your all and after months it was finally time to come back home. You were so excited to sleep in your own bed again and get back into your normal crazy schedule.

The first few nights back home were odd. You couldn't fall asleep no matter how tired you were. You assumed it was just the jet lag but after days of bad sleep you were ready to snap.

It was a normal day filled with dance practice and small photoshoots but you were so exhausted you felt like you were going to fall over at any minute. You noticed Minho looked dead tired as well. You wondered if he was having trouble adjusting as well.

After your schedule was done for the day you decided to take a nice walk to try and calm your mind. After walking up and down the Han rivers shore a few times you decided it was time to head home.

You entered your apartment to the sound of the TV on and smiled.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" you jokingly asked the boy on your couch.

"I've been sleeping like shit and decided to see if it's my bed or just me so I came to stay here if that's cool with you?" Minho didn't look away from the TV as he spoke.

"You're always welcome here Min you know that. Wanna order takeout?" You plopped next to him on the couch and leaned on his shoulder.

"Already got your favorite from that one place with the noodles you like." He wrapped an arm around you and turned on yet another shitty rom-com for you two to watch. You let out a hum of approval and sank into his embrace before answering.

"Thanks Min, you're the best."

"Anything for my favorite girl."

You and Minho sat in content silence until the food came. You both ate as much as you could handle before settling back to finish your movie. Once it was over you stretched and yawned, feeling more exhausted than you had in a long time. Minho smiled at you and reached out for your hand.

"You look exhausted, let's head to bed."

You sleepily nodded and took his hand. He led you to your room where you both climbed into bed and he gathered you into his arms just like he had back in Sydney. You both let out a content sigh at the contact and before you knew it you were out.

You slept like the dead. You didn't realize how much you missed Minho's presence until you had it once again. After that there was an unspoken agreement between the two of you to share a bed until further notice. You loved the contact but the longer it continued the more your feelings grew.

You think you might be falling in love with your best friend and for the first time you think you might be okay with that.

[raspberry-pastries]

That take for tf1 annoys me because the movie explicitly presents his descent. Yes it was rushed in some places but the run time required it and I’m hoping it’ll be fleshed out if we get a sequel.

For one D-16 was not a rebel from the beginning, that was Orion. D-16 was okay with the system and was a prime fanatic (which made sense given sentinels propaganda and stuff). But Orion was the one who believed they could be more, who wanted to prove to the transformers that they were wrong about cogless bots. The way some people talk about him in the movie you’d think he went to get the matrix just because he randomly wanted to and not because he wanted D-16 and him to prove themselves to sentinels as more than miners so they could live a better life and fix the energon shortage. I mean after he found out the truth D-16 literally blamed Orion for the entire thing because he broke protocol, which included saving jazz’s life. He was incredibly emotional in this scene which explains why he reacted like that but it still shows that he has the mindset of ‘if you don’t break the rules nothing bad will happen’; he didn’t want to challenge the established system.

D-16 wanted revenge which is fair given what sentinel did to him. It was a reasonable reaction but where it devolves is when the desire for revenge become more selfish and entwined with the strong over the weak mentality the high guard introduced which clouds his judgement later on.

He did not care about the consequences of killing sentinel in an extremely public and flashy execution and how that would impact iacon moving forward. His actions were fuelled by his desire for revenge. It gets to the point where this desire outweighs his care for others. He wants to kill sentinels supporters almost immediately after. He destroys any sentinel iconography and doesn’t care to get people out of the way first or that it was putting them at risk of death from the debris. His revenge was not sated and he just kept escalating.

He proclaims himself as a leader, taking megatronus’ cog and promising no one will be deceived again. This focus on deception throughout the movie is especially interesting because the way they frame it it’s almost as if he isn’t angry about the system itself he’s angry that it was built on lies. Sentinel killed the primes, mutilated D-16 and used his labour to pay off sentinel’s own debt. There’s no real mention on cogless mechs being treated like nothing or anything like that (correct me if I’m wrong I have a shit memory). He is not motivated by a desire to change the system but revenge for how the system he suffered in was built on lies and the betrayal that came from that. My friend described it as ‘megatron is fuelled by personal anger and Optimus by societal anger’. He was called Optimus because he was optimistic, he had hope things could be better for the cogless bots without burning everything including them to the ground. It’s shown through the symbolism too, Orion kneels at the miners’ height to talk to them but megatron towers over the high guard in his speech. Also as prev mentioned, he was continuing the cycle of violence. The way megatron gained power mirrored the way sentinel did and ofc the intentions and motivations were completely different but this was the way the movie was communicating this is not the way to do it.

Do I think that Orion was sympathising with sentinel for trying to stop megatron? No but I think he definitely could’ve handled it better, especially when he compared megatron to sentinel which was the WORST possible thing to say in that moment. I do think his desperation to stop D-16 was because he could see the consequences of killing sentinel like this, both on iacon and on D-16. Also one of Optimus’ flaws is that he wants to solve things non-violently or at least non-fatally when he really should sometimes, so it wasn’t completely selfless reasoning either. I was very happy when sentinel was finally killed but I could see why Orion wanted to stop D-16.

I’d say neither of them were completely in the right or wrong when it comes to sentinels death and the aftermath. Orion had much better intentions and awareness of the consequences, but his reasoning was at least a bit connected to his own ideology and he really could’ve communicated Why It Was Bad better. And megatron was the one in the wrong by the end through his actions and especially intentions. In tf1 he’s right in some places and wrong in most but this was an origin; an oppressed persons reaction to their worldview crumbling around them and realising that they were owed more. It’s why it impacted him harder than Orion because he already knew that much. D-16 was betrayed and lied to and had no idea what to do after that other than kill the person responsible. When he let go of orion he disregarded his connection to his past, the last person he could truly trust, letting his anger consume him past of the point of no return. D-16 was my favourite character in the movie but it’s important to recognise that he was not in the right. We know what he will do in the future; the atrocities he will commit, this is just introducing how he may have escalated to such extreme actions.

Pls let me know if I get anything wrong I typed this at like 3am lol and sorry OP for the long addition!

"Maturing is realising Megatron was right." Have you even watched a single second of Transformers.

[lord-squiggletits]

I need to reread the comics again to have specific arguments/evidence for this, but like

I feel a bit like I could've been sympathetic to the way other Cybertronian colonies view Cybertron, if it weren't for the fact that at least several of them (as in, ones that get notable dialogue/screen time) are so low-key self-righteous?

Like, idk... there's a lot of criticism of Cybertronians because they're so "warlike" and how their obsession with violence and vengeance is just dragging the whole galaxy down with them, but uh. The Autobot-Decepticon war was basically a product of societal ills bubbling over for like 6 million years beforehand and then finally boiling over into a 4 million year war that lasted as long as it did because the people involved had immense social/psychological trauma from being "raised" in an oppressive society.

So when the colonists come in being all 'omg you people are so violent and uncivilized why don't you just like, stop fighting' it kind of pissed me off a little bit as a reader/person like. Idk the colonists really came into this society of people full of massive amounts of trauma where even before the war society was super oppressive and no one has any experience of living "normal" lives unaffected by violence and bigotry. And the colonists were like "ummm wow why don't you guys just??? stop fighting???." Like idk it wasn't EVERY SINGLE MOMENT, in fact I think that when it was played for laughs it's quite a funny "fridge horror" type element. It was just annoying because like.... IDK???? It's just really annoying to watch a bunch of people who lived relatively sheltered lives on their own planets come to a different planet full of traumatized people and be like "omg why are you people so fucked up" IDK BRO MAYBE BECAUSE THEIR SOCIETY WAS OPPRESSIVE AND THEY LIVED THROUGH A LIFELONG WAR???

It also doesn't help that the colonies were literally founded based on imperialism and conquest so like, it's fucking rich to hear colonists scolding Cybertronians for their violence ruining the whole galaxy while literally sitting on planets that their Primes colonized from others. The hypocrisy of this is briefly mentioned in Unicron (literally the FINAL STORY OF THE SERIES) but like, that's basically the only time Cybertronian characters are given a reprieve of sympathy from other characters in universe and it's so tiresome.

I've talked to other people who didn't like the colonists and thought they basically (narratively speaking) existed just to shit on the existing characters, and it's actually really easy for me to sympathize with/outright agree with that assessment of the story considering how much of exRID/OP seems to be preoccupied with "Cybertron/the Primes/Optimus sucks" with very few reprieves for anything positive happening and even fewer chances for characters to get to explain themselves and experience a little bit of justice? Like, as the audience, it's just very frustrating to see the characters you spent hundreds of issues keeping up with get shit on by a bunch of "literally-who"s and then not really get a chance to ever defend themselves, either by literally defending themselves in conversation or having some sort of narrative thing happening that vindicates them at least symbolically

[francy-sketches]

I'm gonna have to work on my final project non stop for like a month straight bc I procrastinated on it too much fuck my stupid baka life

[cyellolemon]

Happy tdov look at some of my trans art ^w^

[clowngremlin]

basically made dinner all by myself today (older brother only seasoned our chicken breasts and i did the rest of everything)......i cooked raw meat which is something i don't do very often and was worried about, but everything turned out great!!! i also did my laundry today, took the dog for a walk and fed him and have been on top of making sure his water dish is always full, loaded the dishwasher with dirty dishes (idk how to turn it on, i'm gonna ask my dad how to do it when he gets home so i can begin to do it by myself!), did some drawing, wrote in my journal, and pulled myself out of a depressive spiral i was having earlier in the day!!!! really beating the "spencer can't take care of himself or do anything ever" allegations......

[autism-corner]

erm