#{ ' well. this got out of hand. it's the meds ;_; }
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The Years - Ghost x Reader
Ghost who met you well into your military career, an expert strategist and even better with guns, Price had added you to the team after a year of working on various missions with you.
You weren’t simple though. After joining the military to help pay for med school, you had found out that you were better at killing people than you were saving them. They’d offered to transfer you and just have you work as a medic, but you continued on and eventually found your place in the American special forces.
Price had seen your cunning, your tactical brilliance, and your speed in the field and claimed you for the 141. For the past four years you had worked with them, never not by their sides unless you were on leave.
It was in these time periods, away from you, that Ghost sat in his flat and did nothing but think of you. The way you keep your hair braided and the breath you take before firing your rifle. The fact you hate the color yellow and love Chinese takeout. Think about when a year into your time with them, right before Price had asked you to join, that your husband had cheated on you.
You had told him this story in the dark confines of a bar as Gaz, Soap, and Price had a vicious game of billiards. He hadn’t spoke the whole time, watching you with a focus not on your face but on the rage he had to keep in check
They had finished a mission early and were allowed to go on leave for the holidays, or until you were needed again. The car in your driveway had been the first sign. Upon opening the door, the moans trailing down the hallway and the clothes strewn on the floor told the story. You hadn’t bothered to go in crying, simply grabbed your handgun and kicked open the door. The bitch looked just like you.
“Did you kill ‘em?” was all Simon asked as you had trailed off, fist clenched around a heavily nursed glass of bourbon.
“No. I think back and I wish I had, but no. I could have got away with that back in Texas, but here, you brits don’t have justified murder.”
So you had joined the team, growing reckless in the field. It took a bullet to the thigh and a knife wound to the abdomen, along with four ripped stitches, for Ghost to wrestle you to the ground and demand. Demand for you to care enough about yourself to not die. To not leave him.
You came back from that final leave of absence stronger. Smiling even, as Gaz had pulled you into a hug so tight it made Ghost twitch thinking about the jagged wound in your stomach.
For those next years you had grown closer to your team, learning to rely on them and they you. Things become simple. But you aren’t simple. And so things get complicated when Soap mentions bringing in some girls after a particularly successful mission.
You tolerate the strippers for all of thirty minutes before you storm out, the sight of one of them eyeing Ghost like he’s not Simon Riley but instead a way to get an extra fat tip.
The boys are too drunk to notice him immediately follow, except Price, whole smiles to himself before turning back to the girl prettily sitting on his lap. It takes Ghost a few moments to catch up to you as you walk out of the barracks.
“Ghost leave me alone.” you shout before he can speak.
“Why did you leave?” he calls out after you, grabbing you by the shoulder and turning you to face him.
“Because I’m not in the mood to watch you all oogle women in four inch heels and minimal clothing all night.”
He curses below his breath.
“You’ve never ‘ad a problem until now. So what the hell is wrong with you tonight?”
You can feel the way he searches your face, mask doing little to conceal the desperation in his eyes. His hand on your shoulder tightens imperceptibly, every inch of his body wired to the way your expression shifts.
“Ghost.”
He chases the centimeter you back away from him, sensing the way you recoil from the honesty he’s asking of you.
“Tell me.”
You sigh.
“That girl wanted to fuck you.”
“She did.”
Your lip curls and you turn once again and stalk to your room, fully intending on slamming the door in his face. Except he doesn’t grant you that pleasure and shoves himself through after you.
“Ghost what the hell do you want from me?” you practically snarl at him.
“I didn’t want to fuck her.”
“I don’t give a shit.”
“You do.”
This makes you pause, looking him up and down. Standing in your room, chest heaving from chasing after you and eyes practically blazing. He breaks the silence first, taking a step forward as his hands clenched at his sides.
“I’m sorry.”
“For what.” you ask, more confused than before.
“For not being good at this. Not…not good at any of this. I didn’t think it was worth trying to learn. I didn’t know.”
“Know what?” you cry, closing the distance between you two.
“You feel the same.”
He says it as a question, not a statement the way it should be. The way he intends it. He’s not brave enough to say that like he knows what’s right and wrong. Not after he’d spent years in love with you and hadn’t said a damn thing.
“I do.” you let the anger out in your response to hide the tears in your eyes.
Ghost pulls you into his arms. The tears fall. Your body trembles in his grip. He hushes against the hair of your scalp.
“I’m sorry, love.”
Your arms lift to wrap around him, burrowing your face into his chest and breathing him in to calm the shaking that racks your body. When you finally calm, he lifts you gently and places you softly on the bed. It takes a few seconds to get comfortable, but he soon has you curled into him as he strokes long lines down your back.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” he whispers.
“Me too, Simon.”
#cod simon ghost riley#cod simon riley#simon riley x you#simon ghost x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#ghost call of duty#ghost cod#ghost#cod#cod x reader#cod modern warfare#cod mw2#cod gaz#cod john mactavish#cod price
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Hey love, your LADs fics are 🥵🔥🫠.
If you are accepting requests, could you pls write a College AU with the LADS men?
A study sesh leads to smut (can include love confession if not in established relationship).
Have a lovely day/night~ 💖
I hope I did it right. Enjoy!
College AU with the LADS men 🎓
Part 1: Zaynexreader
TW: SMUT
**Both reader and Zayne are Med students**
Zayne looks up from his textbook, his eyes meeting yours as you walk into his dorm room. His room is tidy, almost clinically so, really different from your own chaotic space down the hall. Zayne has always been the organized one, the responsible one, while you...well, you were something else.
"Your room is still a disaster zone, I take it?" he asks, arching an eyebrow. When you smile and nod, he laughs softly and shakes his head. "I don't know how you manage to live in such chaos."
Zayne's gaze drifts over your textbooks stacked in your arms, his eyes narrow slightly as he takes in your appearance, noting the dark circles under your eyes and the way you seem to be running on pure adrenaline. He sets his textbook aside and leans forward, elbows resting on his knees.
"Tell me you got some sleep last night," he says, there is concern in his voice. "You look exhausted, y/n. I know this semester has been tough on you." he looks at you like a parent waiting for their child to confess to staying up too late. "And your test?" he asks when you don't immediately answer. "How did it go?" Zayne knows you had an important test this morning. He's been quietly supportive, offering to quiz you or just listening as you vented about the material leading up to it.
"I survived," you sigh, as you flop down on the bed across from Zayne's desk. "But I don't think I did as well as I needed to. I swear, every time I think I've got it, I realize there's a whole other layer to learn."
You groan, burying your face in one of his pillows for a moment before sitting back up to look at him "I don't know how you do it Zayne. Don't you ever just want to give up?"
He stands and walks over to his mini fridge, pulling out a bottle of water. "Here, drink this. You look dehydrated." Zayne gives you the bottle before sitting on the edge of his bed next to you. His brow furrows with concern as he watches you drink deeply from the water bottle, his eyes searching yours.
"Y/n, how many hours of sleep did you actually get last night?"
"Two," you say quietly. " Maybe a little more". His expression softens as he listens to you. He knew you were pushing yourself too hard, but hearing the confirmation of just how little sleep you'd gotten hits him like a punch to the gut.
"Lay down for a bit. I'll wake you up in two hours, and we can continue with your study session then." There's a gentle authority in his voice, Zayne's not going to let you talk your way out of this one. He knows you need the rest, and will make sure you get it.
As you hesitate, he reaches out to take the now empty water bottle from your hands, setting it aside on the nightstand. His fingers linger on yours for just a moment, a silent plea for you to listen to him.
"Please," he murmurs, his eyes holding yours. "You can't keep doing this. You need to take care of yourself if you want to make it through this program." His other hand comes up to cup your cheek, thumb brushing softly over the dark circle beneath your eye. It's a tender gesture, full of care and concern. He's not just your study partner and best friend, he's the one person who truly sees you, exhaustion and all.
"Fineeeee, whatever you say Dr Zayne"
He watches as you lay down on the bed, your head coming to rest on the pillow. He feels a bit of concern seeing you so drained, but also a sense of relief that he convinced you to get some much needed rest. Almost as soon as your head touches the pillow, your eyelids flutter shut and your breathing evens out.
You startle awake, your heart racing. You're not used to sleeping so deeply, especially not in the middle of the day. As you blink the sleep from your eyes, you become aware of a warm, solid presence next to you on the bed. Turning your head slowly, you find yourself face to face with Zayne, his body next to yours. He must have dozed off while you were sleeping, still clutching his textbook in his hands, now lying open and forgotten. Soft snores escape his slightly parted lips, a light frown etched between his eyebrows as if even in sleep, he's focused on the complex medical diagrams. He looks almost boyish in sleep, the hard lines of his face softening, a lock of dark hair falls across his forehead, and there's a vulnerability to his stillness that makes your heart clench. For a moment, you just watch him, taking in the gentle rise and fall of his chest, the long lashes casting shadows on his pale cheeks. Then, carefully, you reach out and pluck the textbook from him setting it aside. Zayne stirs slightly at the loss of the book, but doesn't wake. In sleep, his hand finds yours, as he settles closer to you. Your fingers intertwine instinctively, and you feel a rush of warmth spread through you at the contact.
You feel the heat of Zayne's breath ghosting over your face. Even in sleep, he seems drawn to you, his hand tightening around yours as if he's afraid you might disappear if he lets go. A soft blush rises to your cheeks at the intimacy of the moment, at the way Zayne's face is inches from your own. Your heart starts to race for a different reason now, a fluttering sensation that has nothing to do with the sudden awakening and everything to do with the man next to you.
You've shared countless study sessions, late night talks, and inside jokes with Zayne, but this...this feels different. More intimate. More charged with a tension you've never dared to acknowledge before. His eyelids flutter, and for a moment you think he might wake. You hold your breath, but he doesn't wake. Instead, he just sighs softly, his breath fanning over your lips. You know you should pull away, give him space, but you find yourself rooted to the spot. Captivated. Your free hand comes up to brush a lock of hair from Zayne's forehead, your fingertips lingering on the soft skin. He's so warm. So real. So...inviting.
You swallow, your mouth suddenly dry despite the water Zayne had given you earlier. Your tongue darts out to wet your lips, and you see Zayne's eyes flutter open at the movement. For a moment, you're frozen, caught in the hazel gaze that seems to see right through you. Then, slowly, Zayne's eyes focus on you. Confusion clouds them for a moment before a flicker of something else, something hotter, sparks in their depths. His grip on your hand tightens.
"You're awake," he murmurs, his voice husky from sleep. His gaze drops to your mouth, stays there for a long, charged moment. You feel your heart pounding against your ribs, your breath coming faster. The air between you feels thick, heavy with a tension you've never dared to put a name to before. His thumb brushes over your knuckles, a sensual caress that sends a shiver up your spine. "How are you feeling?" he asks, but there's something else to his question, a double meaning that makes your cheeks flush hotter. And you know you should answer, should break this moment with a silly comment or a joke but you can't seem to find your voice. You're too busy drowning in the heat of Zayne's eyes too busy wanting...wanting more. Wanting to close the small distance between you and feel his lips on yours, wanting to tangle your fingers in his hair and pull him closer until there's no space left between your bodies.
But you don't. You can't. Because this is Zayne. Your best friend, the one person you trust above all others. The one person you can't afford to mess this up with, so instead of giving in to the temptation, you take a deep, shuddering breath and try to gather your composure. You wet your dry lips again, your voice a bit husky as you manage to choke out an answer.
"I...I feel better," you whisper, your eyes still locked with his. "Thank you for...for letting me sleep." It's a clumsy reply, but it's the best you can manage in this moment.
Zayne's eyes search yours for a moment, as if trying to find the true meaning behind your words. Then, slowly, he nods and starts to sit up, his hand sliding from yours and leaving you feeling suddenly cold. "I'm glad, you needed the rest." He glances at the clock on the wall and frowns slightly. "I'm afraid I may have let you sleep a little longer than we intended though."
He starts to gather up the scattered pages of his textbook, his movements a little stiff, a little self-conscious. It's clear that he's feeling the shift in the atmosphere as much as you are. "We should probably get back to studying," he says, not meeting your gaze as he stacks the pages neatly. "You've got that big test coming up, and you need to be ready." He says it lightly, but there's a tightness to his voice that wasn't there before. A tension that has nothing to do with the impending test.
You nod slowly, sitting up as well and swinging your legs over the side of the bed. You feel a little unsteady, a little off-balance. And it's not from the sudden awakening.
"Yeah," you agree softly. "You're right. I should get back to it."
You stand up, stretching slightly to work the kinks out of your muscles. As you do, you catch Zayne watching you from the corner of your eye, his gaze intense and unreadable. A shiver runs down your spine at the weight of it, and you quickly busy yourself with straightening out the rumpled blanket on the bed, avoiding his stare. "I'll just...I'll just go freshen up real quick" You say, hurrying towards the bathroom, needing to put some space between you, to collect your racing thoughts and calm the frantic pounding of your heart.
Once you are in the bathroom you splash water on your face, and take a few deep breaths, trying to will the blush from your cheeks. But no matter how much cold water you use, you can't seem to banish the memory of Zayne's sleep-roughened voice, the heat of his breath on your face, the way his hand felt curled around yours.
You shake your head sharply, pushing the thoughts away. You can't afford to think like that, not about Zayne. He's your rock, your constant, the one person you know you can always count on. You can't risk destroying that.
Squaring your shoulders, you take one last deep breath and step back out into the bedroom. Zayne is sitting on the bed, his textbooks spread out in front of him, his glasses perched on his nose as he scans the pages intently. For a moment, he looks like a picture of concentration, the very image of the dedicated medical student. As you approach, he glances up, and you see the flicker of something else in his eyes. Something warmer. Something that makes your heart stutter in your chest. "Is everything all right?" he asks softly, a note of genuine concern in his voice. He stands up, taking a step towards you, and you find yourself looking up at him, your breath catching in your throat.
"I...yes," you manage to say, your voice a little steadier than before. "Everything is fine.
"Good," he says, and there's a quiet satisfaction in his voice. He gestures to the bed, "It will be good for us to review the material together," Zayne continues, his voice warm and encouraging. "We can go over the key points and make sure you've got a solid grasp of everything before the test"
He steps closer to you, his hand coming to rest lightly on the small of your back as he guides you towards the bed. The touch is innocent, a gesture of friendship and support "Sit down," his breath stirring the hair at your temple. "Let's get to work."
Zayne watches as you chew thoughtfully on a grape, your eyes scanning the medical text. Hours have passed, and despite the late hour, you're both still engrossed in the material, determined to ensure you're fully prepared for the upcoming test. As Zayne sits in his chair, he flips to a new page in his textbook, his brow furrowed in concentration. When he glances up at you, ready to ask a question, he notices a small, glistening droplet of grape juice on your lower lip.
For a moment, he's distracted, his focus torn between the anatomical diagram on the page and the tempting sight before him. He clears his throat softly, trying to regain his train of thought.
"Y/n," he begins, his voice a little rougher than before. "What are the primary symptoms of acute kidney injury?"
As he waits for your response, Zayne finds himself leaning forward slightly, his gaze still fixed on your mouth. The drop of juice on your lip, threatening to drip down at any moment.
He swallows hard, his heart beating a little faster in his chest. He knows he should look away, should focus on the important task at hand. But he can't seem to tear his gaze away from the mesmerizing sight of you.
Finally, as if sensing his stare, you glance up from the textbook. Your eyes meet his, and for a moment, time seems to slow. Zayne's breath catches in his throat as he realizes he's been caught staring, his pulse jumping at the realization.
"The primary symptoms are...decreased urine output, blood in the urine, swelling in the legs or ankles, nausea, and fatigue." You begin, your voice clear and confident despite the late hour.
As you speak, he watches, as the grape juice slowly slides down the curve of your lip. It leaves a glistening trail in its wake, a path that draws his eye like a magnet.
"And then there's the secondary symptoms," you say, unaware of the effect you are having on him "Hematuria, azotemia, electrolyte imbalances..."
As you speak, he feels a sudden, overwhelming urge to close the distance between you, to lean in and catch that glistening drop of grape juice with his tongue.
When the thought hits him it leaves him momentarily breathless. In this moment, with the late hour and the intensity of your study session, he finds himself fighting with a desire he's long suppressed.
As you wrap up your explanation, Zayne quickly looks down at his textbook, needing a moment to collect himself. He clears his throat, trying to will away the sudden tightness in his pants and the heat rising in his cheeks.
"That's...that's correct, y/n," he manages to say, his voice a little rougher than intended. "You've got a solid grasp of the material. That's impressive."
You smile at Zayne's praise, feeling a surge of pride and accomplishment. The late-night study session had been intense, but seeing the approval in his eyes made it all worthwhile. As your smile widened, the droplet of grape juice that had been perched on the curve of your lower lip began its descent.
Zayne, already on edge and distracted by his sudden surge of desire, doesn't hesitate. Acting on pure instinct, he reaches out and across the short distance between you, his thumb outstretched. In a soft gesture, he brushes his thumb along your chin, catching the errant drop of juice before it can fall any further. The touch is brief but electric, sending a shiver down your spine.
Before you can react, Zayne's thumb trails upwards, coming to rest gently on the plush, soft skin of your lower lip. His eyes flick up to meet yours, and in that moment, the air between you feels charged with a new energy. His gaze is intense, his eyes searching yours as his thumb lightly traces the curve of your lower lip. He's waiting for a reaction, for any sign that you feel it too this sudden, undeniable spark of attraction that's impossible to ignore.
His voice is a low murmur, almost a whisper, when he finally speaks. "You had a little... grape juice," he explains unnecessarily, his thumb still resting on your lip. "I just... I couldn't let it go to waste."
He feels his breath hitch in his throat as your small, pink tongue darts out and laps at the remnants of the grape juice on his thumb. The sensation of your wet, warm tongue against his skin sends a jolt of electricity straight through him, settling heavily in his lower abdomen.
"Now it won't," you say softly
As you hold his gaze, Zayne feels the last of his restraint slipping away. The walls he's built to keep his feelings locked away, crumble like sandcastles against a tide.
Slowly, giving you every opportunity to pull away, Zayne leans in closer. His other hand comes up to cup your cheek, his long fingers splaying gently against the warm, smooth skin. He tilts your chin up slightly, angling your face towards his.
"I've wanted to do this for so long, y/n," he confesses. The scent of his words is tinged with the faint aroma of the grapes you were eating, a heady and intoxicating combination. His eyes flick down to your lips, now glistening and parted slightly from your earlier actions.
"Tell me to stop," he whispers, his voice strained with tension. "Tell me you don't feel this too, and I'll stop. But god, I need to know if you want this as much as I do."
Your heart races as you feel Zayne's breath mingling with yours, his lips now centimeters away from your own. The heat of his skin, the intensity of his gaze, it's all so overwhelming and intoxicating.
"Don't stop," you breathe out, your voice barely above a whisper. It's all you manage to say before you close the final centimeter of space between you, your lips pressing softly against his. The moment your mouths meet, it's like a spark igniting a wildfire. Zayne's lips are soft and firm against your own, molding to the contours of your mouth as if he was made to fit there.
You hear a low groan escape from the back of his throat as you deepen the kiss. His fingers tighten slightly on your cheek, his thumb brushing over the apple of your cheekbone. You press closer, your hand coming up to tangle in the short, dark hair at the nape of his neck. Your fingers thread through the silky strands, anchoring him to you as you lose yourself in the sensation of his mouth moving against your own.
Zayne pulls back from the kiss just enough to hook his hands under your armpits. With a gentle but insistent pressure, he lifts you up and out of the bed, bringing your body flush against his own. As his lips claim yours again, his hands slide from your armpits down to your waist. He grips you firmly, his long fingers splaying across the small of your back as he pulls your curves snugly against the hard planes of his own body.
Still lost in the intensity of the kiss, he starts to walk you backwards, his body pressed against yours, until the soft give of a wall meets your back. He breaks the kiss just briefly as your back hits the wall, long enough to flash you a look that's equal parts hunger and desperation. His eyes are dark, the pupils blown wide with desire, and his chest heaves with each breath he takes.
"You drive me crazy," he rasps, his voice strained and rough with want. "If I take you to bed now, I won't be able to hold back. I'll lose control, and I don't want to rush this."
You close the distance once again and your teeth graze his bottom lip "Please Zayne" you whisper.
Unable to resist your urging, Zayne gives in to your demand. He leans into you, allowing you to tug his shirt upwards and expose the toned, muscular chest beneath. His abs are defined, each muscle group carved by years of dedicated discipline. As his shirt clears his head, Zayne captures your wrists in his hands, pinning them gently but firmly against the wall on either side of your head. He looms over you, his larger frame caging you in, his eyes roaming hungrily over your face and body.
"Please, what? Tell me what you want, y/n. I need to hear you say it."
His hips press against yours, the hard, thick length of him evident even through the fabric of his pants. He grinds slowly against you, letting you feel every inch of his desire. His hand releases one of your wrists to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing over your swollen bottom lip. His touch is gentle, a stark contrast to the rough, desperate edge in his voice.
"Tell me," he demands, his gaze intense and unwavering. "Tell me what you need, and I'll give it to you. I'll give you everything."
"Zayne," you breathe out, your voice trembling with desire. "I need you, all of you" You feel his hands grip the backs of your thighs, his long fingers sinking into the soft flesh as he hoists you up. He lifts you effortlessly, your legs automatically wrapping around his waist as he pins you against the wall with his hips. Once he feels your legs secure around him, Zayne's hands slide up, his palms skimming over your thighs and coming to rest on your hips. He squeezes gently, his fingers digging into your curves as he holds you in place. Sensing your movements, Zayne leans back just enough to allow you to remove your shirt. As the fabric falls away, revealing your bare skin and the delicate lace of your bra, his breath catches in his throat.
"Fuck" he breathes out, his gaze hungry as it roams over your exposed flesh. Unable to resist, Zayne leans down and starts to place open-mouthed kisses along the column of your throat. His lips and tongue map out the delicate skin, tasting you, teasing you, as his hands slide up your sides. They come to rest just below the band of your bra, his thumbs brushing the underside of your breasts. He looks up at you, his eyes dark and filled with promise, silently asking for your permission to continue.
You reach back, fingers unhooking the clasp of your bra. The lace falls away, baring you completely to his hungry gaze. He takes a moment to drink in the sight of you, your chest heaving with each breath, your nipples pebbled in the cool air of the room.
"Perfect," Zayne murmurs, his voice a low, appreciative rumble. "Absolutely perfect."
He lowers his head and draws one straining peak into his mouth. His tongue swirls around the sensitive bud, teasing it, before he suckles hard. His other hand kneads the soft weight of your other breast, rolling and plucking at the neglected nipple. Zayne's hips press harder against yours, the thick ridge of his arousal grinding against your core.
"Zayne," you gasp, your head falling back against the wall as pleasure courses through you. "Please, I need more." Your hands fist in his hair, anchoring him to you as he lavishes attention on your breasts. Your legs tighten around his waist, urging him closer, silently begging him to take you.
Zayne releases your breast with a wet pop, his lips moving to your other breast to give it the same treatment. He suckles and nips, his teeth grazing your skin, marking you. His mouth never leaves your breasts as he carries you towards the bed, his lips and tongue continuing their relentless assault on your sensitive flesh. He walks backwards and as the back of his knees hit the edge of the mattress, Zayne sits down, allowing you both to tumble onto the bed in a tangle of limbs. He rolls you over, positioning you beneath him. Zayne's hands roam your body, caressing every curve and dip, as if committing your form to memory.
Still focused on your breasts, he kisses and licks, suckles and nips, until your back arches off the bed and your fingers tangle almost painfully in his hair. Your nipples are reddened and swollen, glistening with his saliva, and aching for more of his touch. Zayne pauses in his ministrations, glancing up at you with a playful smirk as he slowly unzips your skirt. As he removes it he takes in the sight of your blue panties adorned with a tiny snowman.
"I wasn't exactly planning on seducing you tonight," you admit with an embarrassed blush, biting your lower lip. "I didn't think we'd end up like this."
Zayne's eyes soften as he takes in the pretty blush coloring your cheeks and the swell of your breasts. He finds your embarrassment endearing, charming even. It's a rare sight, given how composed and put together you usually are.
Zayne shakes his head and smirks "I'm glad you didn't plan this," he murmurs, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip. "Because if you had, you might not have chosen such...cute underwear"
He glances down at the snowman grinning up at him, then back to your blushing face, his smirk widening into a genuine, boyish grin. "Don't worry, sweetheart. They're perfect. Just like you, but let's get rid of them, shall we?" he whispers, his voice low and seductive "I want to see all of you."
Zayne takes his time peeling your panties down your legs, his fingers grazing your skin. As the fabric slips past your knees, he tosses them carelessly aside, his dark eyes never leaving yours.
When you instinctively close your legs, Zayne pauses, his hands resting on your thighs. "Open them for me, pretty girl," his voice filled with desire. His hands start to slowly push your thighs apart, his thumbs brushing over your inner thighs and sending sparks of pleasure racing through you, and when your legs part for him, his gaze drops to your exposed sex, his eyes darkening with hunger and need.
"Fuck, love," he breathes out, his voice strained. "You're so beautiful. I could look at you for hours." He leans in closer, his breath ghosting over your sensitive flesh, making you shudder in anticipation. He inhales deeply, taking in your scent, before placing a soft, open mouthed kiss to the inside of your thigh. His lips and tongue work their way slowly up your inner thigh. He places kisses to your skin, occasionally grazing it with his teeth, sending jolts of pleasure and pain straight to your core. He takes his time, savoring your taste and scent, drawing out your anticipation and desperation. The closer he gets to your aching, empty sex, the more your hips squirm and cant upwards, seeking his touch.
"Zayne, please," you whimper, your fingers tangling in his hair, trying to urge him on. He nips at the sensitive skin where your thigh meets your sex, making you gasp and your hips jerk involuntarily. He places another kiss, higher this time, his lips brushing against your lower lips. At the same time, he pushes your thighs further apart, opening you up to him completely.
"Tell me what you want," he urges, his breath hot against your cunt. "Tell me how you want me to touch you."
"Please, I need your mouth on me. I need your tongue, your fingers, something."
Without warning, he dives in, his mouth latching onto your sex with a hunger that steals your breath away.He kisses and sucks, his lips moving against your sensitive flesh as he explores every inch of you. His tongue delves between your folds, stroking along your slit and dipping teasingly inside you.
"Mmm, you taste even better than I imagined," Zayne rumbles, his words muffled against your sex. He looks up at you, his eyes glinting as he holds your gaze. "I could feast on this sweet cunt for hours, my love."
He then seals his mouth over your clit, suckling hard as he slides two long fingers deep inside you. He pumps them slowly, curling and twisting, stroking that spot that makes you moan his name. Your back arches off the bed as you cry out, your head thrown back in ecstasy. Suddenly he pauses, looking up at you with a playful glint in his eye. He smirks, his fingers still buried deep inside your throbbing sex. "How about we make this interesting, love? We can practice what you've learned today."
He starts to withdraw his fingers slowly, his thumb brushing over your clit and making you gasp. "Let's start with a simple one. What's the medical term for the heart?" He watches your face, his fingers poised at your entrance, waiting for your response.
"Fuck, it's c-cardio," you stutter out, your voice breathless and shaky with desire.
"Good girl," Zayne purrs, rewarding you with a slow lick along your slit. "What's the primary function of the kidneys?" His fingers dip back inside you, pumping shallowly, teasing you as he waits for your answer. Your hips twitch, trying to pull him deeper, but you force yourself to focus.
"F-filtration and secretion," you manage to say, your words coming out in a rush.
"That's right," Zayne murmurs, placing another lingering lick on your clit before suckling gently, rewarding your correct answer. "The liver's main function?"
"Nghh, m-metabolism and detoxification," you gasp, your head falling back as pleasure courses through you.
"Mmm, excellent. The brain's primary function?"
"I can't....Zayne please..." you pant, your fingers gripping the sheets as you fight the urge to grind yourself against Zayne's face. "I...its controlling and coordinating actions and..and ...activities,"
He wraps his lips around your clit and gently sucks it, his fingers pump faster, curling to stroke that special spot inside you with each thrust. You can feel your release building, your walls starting to flutter around his fingers.
"Lungs' primary function?" Zayne asks, his voice a low rumble against your sex.
"Res...respiration," you cry, your hips bucking up to meet his hand as your climax fast approaches.
"That's my clever girl," Zayne praises, sealing his mouth over your clit and sucking gently once again.
Zayne feels your walls fluttering and clenching around his fingers, knowing you are teetering on the brink of your climax. He looks up at you with intense eyes, his voice low and urgent.
"This is the most important question, my love. How many chambers does the heart have?"
His fingers pump faster, stroking that sensitive spot deep inside you with each thrust. His thumb rubs firm circles over your clit, the pleasure almost too much to bear.
"Four!" you scream, your voice breaking and cracking with the intensity of your impending climax. At your desperate scream of the correct answer, Zayne dives back in, his mouth latching onto your sex with renewed hunger. His tongue circles your clit exactly four times, each rotation perfectly measured and deliberate.
As he completes the fourth rotation, you finally shatter. Your body convulses as your orgasm crashes over you like, your sex clenching and fluttering wildly around his fingers.
Zayne groans, feeling your release gush over his tongue and fingers. He works you through it, his mouth and hands never stopping their assault, drawing out your pleasure until you collapse back onto the bed, boneless and spent.
Zayne crawls up your body, his eyes filled with satisfaction and pride. He cups your face, capturing your lips in a kiss that steals your breath away. You can taste yourself on his tongue, and it only makes you feel more desired.
"Good girl," Zayne praises. "You did so well, my love. I'm so proud of you."
You try to sit up, but Zayne gently but firmly presses you back down onto the bed, his hands resting on your shoulders. He shakes his head, giving you a playful smirk as he tucks you in snugly under the covers, pulling them up to your chin.
"Where do you think you're going, love? You need to rest now," Zayne says softly, his voice filled with a tender warmth that makes your heart flutter. He brushes a stray lock of hair from your forehead, his fingers lingering to caress your cheek.
"You've had a long day. I want you to sleep now, sweetheart. Let your body recover and recharge." He settles in next to you, wrapping his strong arms around your waist and pulling you close, spooning you from behind. He nuzzles into your neck, inhaling the scent of your hair as he holds you possessively, protectively.
His hand rests on your stomach, his thumb rubbing gentle circles, a comforting, lulling motion. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your back and the soothing sound of his voice soon has you both drifting off into a peaceful sleep. Unaware that once you both become respected doctors in your respective fields, you find yourself transported back to this day every time someone mentions the four chambers of the heart.
It could be during a lecture, a patient consultation, or even a casual conversation with a colleague. The moment the words "four chambers" leave their lips, you're instantly transported back to that bedroom, with Zayne's head between your legs, his tongue circling your clit in perfect, deliberate rotations as you screamed out the answer that brought you to the most intense orgasm of your life.
You'll feel a rush of heat to your cheeks, and you'll have to bite back a smile, glancing over at Zayne to see if he was also transported to that moment. More often than not, you catch him looking at you with a knowing, smoldering gaze, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips. You know he's thinking about the same thing.
I
#love and deepspace#lnds#lads smut#lads#lads x reader#lnds x reader#lads x you#lnds x you#love and deepspace reader#zayne love and deepspace#zayne x reader#zayne smut#lads zayne#zayne x reader smut#lnds zayne#l&ds zayne#zayne
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I really like you
Pairings: Zayne x Fem Reader
Summary: "but boy i like you...i really really like you" really like you (babymonster)
It was always there, lurking in the corners of her heart—quiet, gentle, and entirely untouchable. The secret love she had for Zayne, her best friend since high school, had quietly grown with her through the years. From study dates to late-night talks about life, the universe, and their future, Zayne had always been there—like an unshakable constant in her life. But she’d kept her feelings hidden, buried deep, not wanting to risk their friendship for something that could be fleeting.
They had first met in high school. Zayne had that kind of charm that made him instantly likable. He was the guy everyone could talk to, easygoing and thoughtful, but also someone who carried an innate warmth that made others feel special. She’d admired him from the start, though she never let it show. He was always just a friend to her, even when her heart would flutter when he smiled, or when he helped her through difficult moments—always offering a hand, never expecting anything in return.
Even after high school, their paths continued to intertwine. They both got accepted to the same medical school, and their friendship deepened as they spent long hours studying together, always finding themselves sharing notes, joking about the absurdity of exams, and supporting each other through the grind. Zayne was an open book, never hiding his emotions. He was the kind of guy who looked out for everyone—whether it was a random classmate or an elderly woman on the street who needed help carrying her groceries. He gave selflessly, often without realizing the depth of his kindness.
But despite their closeness, she had kept her feelings locked away. The thought of ruining their friendship, of disrupting the bond they shared, terrified her. What if he didn’t feel the same way? What if it made everything awkward between them? She couldn’t risk that. So, she buried her love beneath layers of laughter and companionship.
One evening, during their second year of medical school, they found themselves sitting on the rooftop of their apartment building after a long study session. The sunset was painting the sky in shades of orange and pink, and they had a quiet, rare moment to just breathe.
“You know,” Zayne said, glancing at the sky, “I’ve always wanted to do something meaningful with my life. It’s not enough just to know all the medical stuff. I want to help people in a way that goes beyond just prescriptions and treatments.”
She smiled softly, watching the way the light made his eyes shine with passion. This was what she loved about him—his heart was always in the right place.
“You already do,” she said, her voice quiet but sincere. “You’ve always helped people. You’re always there when someone needs you. It’s what makes you... well, you.”
Zayne laughed, brushing his hair out of his face. “I just do what feels right. I guess that’s why I’m still helping Mrs. Jensen with her garden every Sunday afternoon, even though I don’t have time for it.”
She paused at the mention of Mrs. Jensen. She remembered seeing him help her when they were in high school—how Zayne would go over to the elderly woman's house every weekend without fail, cutting her lawn, bringing her groceries, and spending time with her when no one else did. It wasn’t something Zayne talked about much, but it was always there—a soft reminder of how big his heart was.
That was when it hit her. She had fallen in love with him, not because of grand gestures or dramatic confessions, but because of moments like this. Because of how he took care of the elderly lady when no one else had time to. Because of how he never changed, despite the years passing and the challenges of med school. She had fallen in love with Zayne because he was everything she could ever want in a person—kind, selfless, genuine—and yet, he didn’t even realize the quiet strength of his heart.
She looked at him, a slight pang of realization pulling at her chest. She had loved him for so long, and it wasn’t just about the little moments anymore. It was about the person he was—the person who cared without asking for anything in return.
Zayne caught her gaze and smiled. “You know, I think this might be one of my favorite spots. It’s peaceful up here. I can just... think, you know?”
“Yeah,” she said softly, her heart thudding a little faster in her chest. “I know what you mean.”
For a long moment, they simply sat in silence, the city lights twinkling below them, as if the universe itself was holding its breath.
Zayne’s voice broke the quiet. “I’ve been thinking, too. About the future. You know, the kind of doctor I want to be.”
She turned to him, curiosity piquing in her eyes. “What kind of doctor do you want to be?”
“A doctor who listens,” he said, his expression soft and sincere. “A doctor who really sees people, not just their illness. Someone who doesn’t just treat the body, but takes care of the person.”
Her heart clenched. It was exactly what she had been falling in love with all along. The way he treated people—not just as patients, but as individuals with lives, hopes, and dreams.
“You already are that person, Zayne,” she whispered. “You’ve always been.”
Zayne turned to her then, his eyes locking with hers. For a moment, everything felt still. The world, their studies, their busy lives—it all seemed to fade away as they shared this quiet moment together. He reached out, gently taking her hand in his, and for the first time, she didn’t pull away.
“I’m glad you’re my friend,” he said, his voice sincere and warm.
Her heart stuttered in her chest, and she nodded, squeezing his hand. But what she didn’t say was that, even though she had always kept her feelings hidden, she had never truly been just a friend in her heart. Maybe now, just maybe, the years of silence would speak volumes.
And as they sat there, hand in hand, the future didn’t seem as uncertain as it once had. Because for once, she allowed herself to imagine a future with Zayne—not just as friends, but as something more. Something real.
As the stars began to shine brightly above them, she knew this was just the beginning of a love that had always been written in the stars.
a/n: yes ill be basing this from my experience coz....ik we all been there :333 im using zayne as the character coz hes similar to him :3
#l&ds zayne#lads zayne#zayne love and deepspace#love and deepspace zayne#zayne x reader#lnds zayne#lads#love and deepspace#zayne li
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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crazy how being on all my meds again (finally) really makes a difference in my ability to function >:3
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/aea6b9c1df2fa2d9d22b9eda7c4eb9ef/dc8a7feec7491bc3-bf/s540x810/dc094fbc2a70153d3f58d7be10e4c95d16e9b741.jpg)
#for context#ive been out of one med specifically for like 2 weeks(?)#this one is essentially a booster for all my other ✨mental illness✨ meds#so it’s been quite a struggle but i was getting by(-ish)#until this weekend where i was just constantly exhausted#(thus the lack of art last week ~3~)#BUT#i finally got them all yesterday so all is well#YIPPEE#(i was quite the handful at work today though :3)
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i know that a majority of the characters in aftg with visible scars and injuries don’t necessarily have permanent or chronic injuries but it’s a nice change of pace to see fan art depict injuries and scars across the board. comics really shy away from characters being visibly hurt for longer than the story “requires” or showing past physical trauma outside of one off moments and it’s especially wild that characters so reliant on physical fitness aren’t regularly depicted with tools to aid in the upkeep of that. both in canon and in fanon??? for something with a plot as outlandish as cape comics it’s so refreshing to see scars and kt tape and braces be a mainstay in aftg fanwork. love u recovery devices. love u body maintenance tools. love u sports medicine
#this whole post could just be ‘love u sports medicine’#but in just stating that that art of jean in the hinged brace#IM JUST STARING**#i did the same thing with serpaz art when i got my first knee brace#it was so clunky and not as well fitted as an everyday brace would be but STILL#i felt SEEN!!!#sports med is such a huge part of my existence i really froth at the mouth over the thought of s character in a brace#that handful of panels with steph in a compression/knee cap stabilizing brace in batgirls??????#i made a buTTON OUT OF IT#all this to say#i bought kt tape again#forgot how much i like it#putting kevin in my pocket that’s a permanent injury#hand injuries are so difficult#kevin’s is canon but neil and jean are high contenders#jean for his LCL and the overcompensation injuries that would inevitably come from a lack of proper rehab#on top of overexterion and the sheer amount of physical abuse#neil for#being neil#just look at him#he’s never once had access to pt and the nerve damage alone is staggering#kevin can mitigate overextertion with his insanity about sports med but neil left to his own devices doesn’t have that background#kevin buy him a freeze sleeve#or four#this could be its own post#i had an ortho appt this week so i’m usually sappy about art with injuries#flynn.txt#aftg
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5min doodle of Gaius!
#fe awakening#gaius#i am v sick and i do my best to not call out but alas#i called out for tomorrow and the person who answered the phone#was like ok ill get you a manager#then gave me the phone of a not manager#who asked me my name four times and i told her four times#and im like THE PREP WORKER TOMORROW and then she realized who i was#cause i do not sound like myself#she even asked me the second time i said my name if i was new T0T#then the manager finally got handed the phone and im like bro im not going in tomorrow im sorry#and she said get well soon#so here i looked at a screen for five minutes for art thats enough im gonna pass out again after i take pain meds
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(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)
Hey hey hey
May I interest you in
(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)
Teehee
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards#the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of#void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later#PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted#and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No#the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this#Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire#place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with#examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and#suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still#hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they#have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up#while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much#attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem#much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing#properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had#after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then#they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void#left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare#at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he#and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant#and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts#And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection#oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB
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Yippeee got my meds renewed, I can finally eat twice a day again
#i accidentally nearly ran out and got worried that my doc might be on Christmas vacation already so I ate only one#meal to make the meds stretch out. she sent me the recipe today let's fucking go.#I'll just shower and go for my meds.#and another package that finally came in as well#and then I NEED to write my essay because it's due today#but I've been too anxious sweating hands literally shaking to write it#'why didn't you take atarax' forgor. also sometimes it knocks me out#sometimes I gotta take 3 to feel even slightly tired but sometimes i take a half just to calm down a little and accidentally knock myself#out
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does your doctors ever just drop something on you much later about your meds or your conditions and it explains a lot
#Like my seizure meds can make me dehydrated#I've been on them three years and just kinda chalked up being thirsty to ya know...needing water but nope Keppra can make you dehydrated#Or when I was taking sucrafate for 6 months before a Dr told me I had to take it several hours before eating BC IT PREVENTS UPTAKE#OF ANYTHING INCLUDING MEDS SO I BASICALLY WASNT TAKING MY MEDS FOR MONTHS AND WAS GETTING SICK AND DIDNT KNOW WHY#BC NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME I SHOULDNT TAKE IT WITH OTHER MEDS JUST NOT FOOD??#AND THE DOC DIDNT EVEN TELL ME INTENTIONALLY SHE JUST MENTIONED IT OFF HAND AND I WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT#SHE WAS SO SHOCKED NO ONE TOLD ME AND IT WASNT LISTED ON THE BOTTLE#I'm still mad about it I was getting extra seizures for months for no reason bc of an oversight#Since I got that info I've been taking my meds properly and I haven't had a seizure for almost a year#:)#Remember to ask every question you can think of and ask aggressively#Every interaction with other meds every side effect#You NEED to know you're not being pushy it's your body and health#ASK THINGS OF YOUR DR ITS WHY THEYRE THERE ITS FOR THE BEST#chronic illness#medicine#Medication#Even if you are being pushy it's your right to know everything about why and what they're giving you#I also thought Ativan was a neasua drug for a while bv they always give it to me in the er when I have a cvs episode#But it's for anxiety and they use it to put me out while the actual drugs work and that's okay!!!#But I didn't know so I stared asking for Ativan (and zofran) when I went in and got denied because they thought I was a junkie/on detox#For a med a doctor would otherwise order for my distress bc I didn't know better#Know your meds and know them well it can only help you in the long run#Keeping a list written or digital that you can show doctors also helps so they know how drugs can interact if your an er frequent flyer#Like me
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6 months ago: I am approved for a house cleaning service thru my disability
Now: I am about to go fight my housekeeper's ex husband
#she had to call in today bc her kid called her crying w his dad throwing stuff in the background#i told her i am on call and that i will be there in a moments notice if she needs me#we're besties now lol#.bdo#obv i wouldnt be able to actually fight him hed flatten me out#but still#you may ask why a person w chronic pain and disabilities would fight someone#1. adrenaline 2. being punched is nothing when you're already always in pain and got pain meds on deck#last time i got in a fight (well it was very one sided. it was just me) i jumped on this girl for hitting my sister#and beat the shit out of her without getting hit once#and she got kicked out#no one expects the disabled girl thats 15-20 years younger than everyone to start throwing hands
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aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.
#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol#anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly#but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size#acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years#and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating#(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive#when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time)#and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die.#and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well#and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom#and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao#like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is#anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus.#but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333#god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by#but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr#anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help.#but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation.#i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.
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I will say one of the funniest parts of this last hospital stay was accidentally frazzling my nurses and doctors on accident
#first i was told to name all my diagnosis so i did and then when they were on poke number 3 for IV access#i suddenly remembered i had epilepsy XD#and so i was like 'oh! i forgot i have epilepsy!' and my nurse gave me the most DONE expression ive ever seen#their was a doctor that was in their that knew me too and she went 'oh yeah you do huh?' and wrote it down XD#then when i was going under for my procedure i had to have multiple different meds before hand as well as precautions in place#and so everyone was running around trying to get these meds and then when they were wheeling me back#we once again forgot about my epilepsy XD and the nurse notice and she was like 'wait you have epilepsy! did you get that med'#and so that happened but then once we got in the operating room they had pushed the anesthesia already but they were bickering back & forth#going 'get her on her back' 'no he likes them being on their sides' 'no thats the other doctor' 'is it?' 'i think it depends'#*walks over and looks at my chart again* *other guy hands me mouth piece to put in* *other guys walks back over*#'do you have trouble breathing on your back' *me with anesthesia already pushed and in my system* 'hwell ow at i an-'#*realizes mouth piece is still in my mouth and removes it so i can talk* 'oh yeah i tend to d-sat at night when i sleep'#*nurses realizing im going under finally* 'get her on her side! get her on her side!'#and then i blacked out XD#i love pre-op so much just because its so hilarious with what happens#virus rambling#anyways sometimes the hospital is fun the staff makes it homey and fun
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okay cleaver in dst would be interesting too i think personally. Something something can couriers survive HELL. cleaver voice ummm i dont think this is the mojave.
#bee's buzzing#benny fnv is there too they dragged him along for the adventure#benny is rapidly losing sanity and cleaver is skipping along and having a great time#they are foraging for berries in the woods#the worst thing for cleaver would be. no med-x. SAD oh well theres other couriers#theyre crumpled on the ground going through the horrors when they run out of their stash but like#otherwise? theyre so fine w/ this#they stare at wx with their autism eyes and go “technically im part robot. can i stick my hands in your wires”#what else. umm. cleaver would like several of th guys i think#theyre fascinated with wilsons pathetic guy swag#theyre like a weird aunt to all of the kids#i think theyd get along with just about everyone actually#debatably rocky start with maxwell if they know he got the others stuck here but like. shrugs. what can you do#they would also like wigfrid specifically i think. they're particularly fond of any performers tbh.#cleaver voice hi you seem cool. dont mind me staring with my autism eyes#THEY ALSO both have diets that primarily consist of meat. though#in cleavers case. they mostly eat. dubiously safe to eat raw meat off the ground like some kind of animal
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this is a little insane of me but i want modern au characters to have american ibuprofen cuz i want them to have nice things (cheaper and stronger than ibuprofen in japan and also comes in huge bottles instead of blister packs) but i also want everybody to know this is an intentional creative choice i made. so wtf do i do like slap an entire footnote on a little drawing. i have so much autism
#i am NOT making kohei even TOUCH a blister pack. i care him. im giving him a bottle he can hold it btwn his knees to open it#and yes tsurumi gets bulk packs of ibuprofen shipped frm america. high lvl of chronic pain kings in the 7th#of course tsurumi and kohei both also take opioids cuz im fucking normal about pain meds :/ but might as well have an nsaid on hand#and tsukishima primarily takes ibuprofen 👆 so theyre getting this stuff anyway. might as well keep a couple extra bottles#my intense ibuprofen lore. no i barely know anything else abt my modern au. but by god do i know each characters pain management systems#NO i havent figured out exactly how all of them got disabled yet. but i will never never undisable a character in a modern au#if you ever make a character less disabled you go to hell before i personally come to your house and kill you. btw#og post
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I finally caught one of the livestreams last night (I'm in Canada so it's at like ass o'clock in the morning for me) and it made me so fuckin happy. Every time I catch clips of them on stage I'm reminded of just how much MCR means to me. I've carried them with me for over half of my life, their art has impacted me in ways I can't fully explain. I'm just so greatful to be here and to be alive to experience this alongside so many people who feel the same.
I just took my meds and also had coffee so It's Real Kvelling Hours™️ over here so ignore me if you find this sappy shit boring-
I used to get so embarrassed about saying shit like "This band saved my life" because I was scared of sounding cringey or obsessive, but they really did and I'm so fucking thankful. They helped me save myself, this community helped me save myself, and thanks to that I'm living a life I could have never imagined.
I remember being 12 years old, making my first emo little tumblr account and finding the MCR community. My friends and I making matching URLs and blog themes, sharing memes and making edits and just having so much fun. Throughout all the terrible, scary times I've been able to come back here and have a safe place to just engage in my special interest and find some peace. I might have grown apart from those friends, but this community has always felt like home to me so I don't exactly feel alone in it.
It's because of this community, as well as MCR's loud acceptance, support and welcoming of queer people that I've really learned how to be proud and unashamed of my queer identity. When I was in situations where I wasn't being accepted or treated fairly, it made that shit hurt far less knowing that there were so many good people out there like me, and that would support me. Now with all the scary shit going on in the world it's been really comforting to know that I still have this to turn to.
So basically thank you MCR for making art that's shaped me in ways I hold so close to my heart and will forever, Thank you MCR Community for existing alongside me and sharing this beautiful experience, we might not be perfect but I've felt safer here than I have any other fan space, and thank you Autism Brain for slapping me in the face repeatedly with this special interest for over a decade without a moment's rest you're the real MVP.
#lmao sorry for the ramble im just euphoric about being alive right now and after i caught the stream i was like#this is why#i really didnt intend to live this long but im extremely greatful that i did because after years and years of back to back trauma#and painful recovery#im finally living the best life i ever had#im about to go pick up my girlfriend who is the best partner ive ever had and also one of my best friends#yesterday i made a handful of new friends and connections at shul and ive found a wonderful jewish community in this city#ive made friends with someone who went through the same trauma as me at the hands of the same person and have found support and validation#as well as a really good friendship there#my friends are getting married and having kids and making beautiful art and sharing it with me#im making beautiful art and sharing it with my friends#ive also found a home in the local punk community and have been going to shows at sketchy little dive bars and basements and backyards#or just in parks downtown#im getting the surgeries i want for my transition and health and ive got a great medical team behind me and a new therapist and meds#that actually work for me#also my cat has just been such a clingy happy baby lately and is just the Sweetest little guy#life is good life is so fucking good and im so glad i decided to stay alive#if you needed a sign to stay alive this is it please#life can be so scary and awful and traumatic but there are beautiful things out there i promise#and sometimes they take a while and some effort to reach but its so fucking worth the wait and the work it takes to get here#community has played a huge part in that for me#humans can be really beautiful when they're loving and kind to others#anyway if you read all this congratulations we're best friends now thanks for watchinf me dissect my brain u can take some of it#and put it in a jar with some isopropyl alcohol :)
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