#{ ' well. this got out of hand. it's the meds ;_; }

[witherby]

Heyyyyy *leans on expensive car* what are you cooking up for the next mer!reader part?😌

-🌭

Heyyy hotdog 😏 ur about to see it babycakes

Human!Damian x Mer!Reader

Part 8

Masterlist is Here!

It's a very grueling two days of monitoring for you in the med bay. You're kept sedated on a wet gurney so you can be examined for wounds, but there's nothing physically wrong with you. They poke and prod you, take your blood, and run test after test after test to see what could've made you turn so bad so quickly, but those results run clean too.

It's a psychosomatic effect, then. Something is distressing you so much that your body is responding to your mental state. When asked about it, Bruce just rubs his face exhaustedly asks the team to make a new care plan that involves Damian's involvement as much as possible.

When you're deemed healthy enough to return to your tank, they wean you off sedation and carefully deposit you back into the water with a special health monitoring cuff on your wrist.

While you were gone, your castle spire had the top half turned into a removable hideaway in case you got stuck again; it now clicks on and off from the bottom half, a little like a Lego, for your safety.

It takes you a day to fully shake the medicine off, so you spend most of it in a weird daze, but when full alertness returns to you, you pick at the bracelet a while, then tiredly float to the surface to receive breakfast from Jon. And Jon is there like normal, sitting on the lip of the tank with a smile, but he's not the one holding your bucket.

It's Damian.

Damian, who looks at you with wide eyes, like he can't believe you're here and you might vanish if he blinks. Damian, who stands there and stares like you're the most fascinating thing he's ever seen. Damian, who looks just as anxious as you feel. The bucket in his hands is trembling minutely.

It's Damian. He's here. He's here. He's here.

He just stares. You don't know what to do except stare back, locking onto those brilliant, emerald eyes you practically begged to see for weeks. The sudden, unadulterated attention from him makes something twist inside you, and you don't know if it's positive or negative.

Jon clears his throat and quietly calls your name. You glance at him.

"Feeling up for a meal? I've got a couple puzzles, too, if you want them. If you're still woozy from the meds, then that's okay too."

Damian seems to pull himself together and finally offers you the bucket. You hesitate just a moment more, then reach out and take it. The tips of your fingers just barely graze his.

You hold the food to your chest, staring at him. Damian stares back. A muscle in his jaw jumps, and he opens his mouth like he's about to speak.

You quickly turn away and drift a few feet from the tank's edge, starting to eat. His stuttered gasp tells you the message was well-received.

Jon sucks in a sympathetic breath through his teeth, reaching out and squeezing Damian's forearm. "Give 'em time," he whispers. "You've been away a while, y'know? I'd probably feel a little abandoned, too."

"It wasn't on purpose," Damian mutters, eyes burning. He fights it down, refusing to cry when there is nothing to cry about. His old position as primary caretaker was reinstated (albeit, Jon is secondary caretaker, now, but he'll take what he can get), he's no longer barred from seeing you, and he's got another chance to fix this companionship. He just needs you to give him the ability to act on this chance.

He needs to earn your trust again. He can do that. He will do that, no matter the cost.

--

You're not up for playtime that day, or the day after. When either one of your caretakers mentions getting into a wetsuit, you react unenthusiastically, so they stay out of the tank to respect your wishes.

Damian is visibly distressed by your refusal to engage with him. He uses your name, he offers you toys and treats, and only tries to call you Princess once before you release a low, threatening warble, and does not try again. If he was so upset by being ignored, then fair is fair. Maybe he shouldn't have done it to you. Prick.

The stinging in your chest at the sight of him doesn't get any better, but it also doesn't get any worse. According to your vitals you're stabilizing, but the beautiful florescence of your tail hasn't quite been restored ever since that fateful incident with Bruce pulling Damian away. The missing patches of scales have regrown by now, but your entire color palette seems overall paler. Less enthused and iridescent. Almost defeated, like you've settled into a life of complacency.

The routine adjusts, and you with it. You quietly accept food at mealtimes and half-heartedly engage with toys. During the tours, you go through the motions of swimming idly around and doing basic loops. You no longer press your body against the glass to stare at and admire all the guests. You no longer steal the buckets to make your caretakers dive in and retrieve them. You no longer chirp or chitter or trill.

It's killing Damian, the guilt threatening to swallow him whole. He's tried everything to get you back to how you used to be — old games, sitting and talking to you, even getting into the water to try and play hide and seek — but you are absolutely not interested. Nothing is working.

And when nothing works, he goes back to the basics. He reenters Bruce's office and takes out your files; he pours through them all, page by page, paragraph by paragraph, to scrape together any fleeting idea of how to bring your incredible spark back.

He's flipping through some documents detailing behavior in wild Mer pods when he finds his answer, and he knows what he needs to do.

Damian asks for an hour to speak to his dad. There's an entire myriad of questions thrown at him, most he can answer and some he can't. There's almost shouting, but Bruce manages to cool them both down again. There's a lot of negotiating, a lot of it, but finally, finally, he gets the green light. He leaves his father's office feeling more confident about you than he has in weeks, and it shows.

The following morning, when you drift to the surface to get breakfast, Jon is there with the bucket, and Damian is there with a rock. It's a small thing, barely the size of your palm, but it's beautifully painted. It's not one of the rocks you've had before, meaning he's not re-gifting you something you gifted him.

It's something he made. For you. He made a gift for you.

"Good morning," Damian says, and your eyes snap to his. "I've brought you this. I want...I wanted to express my..."

He sighs, brow furrowing. You tread the water patiently.

"I am sorry," he finally says. "I'm sorry I allowed my father to separate me from you. I'm sorry I started acting like you didn't exist. I was so angry to see Jon replace me that I feared you would not need me anymore."

Your expression doesn't change. Damian swallows thickly.

"Maybe my phrasing is poor. I don't want you to need me. I simply...I care about you a lot. And I did not think you cared as much, so I took to ignoring you almost entirely. But I thought about you all the time. I wondered if these imbeciles were cleaning your tank properly, or remembered that you don't like red snapper when they feed you, or if anyone was playing with you enough."

Damian inches a little closer to the edge of your tank. He holds the rock out to you. His hands are shaking.

"You don't trust me anymore. That's understandable, and a very logical move on your part. But I want to earn it back. I want to prove to you that I'm here to stay this time."

He leans over the edge a bit, eyes locked onto your own.

"I will do whatever it takes to ensure you don't feel alone again."

You pull your gaze away from his and move closer to examine the rock. The bright, rich colors and intricate patterns painted into it make something ease up in your chest. You feel like you can breathe just a little bit easier.

Your hands emerge from the water, rivulets trailing down your palms and wrists, and gently take the stone from him.

Damian's entire body relaxes, relief making a smile appear on his face.

It promptly vanishes, replaced by indignant sputtering when you spit a bunch of water at him. He coughs and wipes his face, then blinks to find you swimming to the bottom of your tank to find the best place to stick your present. You're moving so much faster, so much more energetically than you were before.

"There you are, Princess," Damian whispers into the water, grinning wide.

"...are they gonna come back up and eat?" Jon asks, still sitting with the bucket. "Cause...we can't re-refridgerate this with the other food. It'll have to get tossed."

[21280]

ex! izuku, one mention of the war. pro hero! y/n, who was also in the war. weird plot, but i had a dream about this with my ex. i need to cope and take my meds.

thinking of accidentally reuniting with your ex izuku midoriya, in one of the most common ways possible: both of you being invited to an arcade for a huge event.

it’s one of your mutual friend’s birthday, with the invite being a 'simple' arcade party. though, nothing about it is simple—you and your friends have the wallet of a pro hero, which meant a whole arcade building was rented for the night, with each one of the games filled with colorful costumes in case of an emergency.

and as soon as you stepped towards a big, down the clown machine, your heard someone clear their throat.

it was none other than izuku midoriya.

how long had you practiced no contact? was it four months? to you it felt like years, but you know what they say. when love truly blooms, times goes by in a flash. did this apply here? you didn't know, but you respectfully greeted him with a smile.

a forced one at that. things with midoriya went downhill after a year of dating, and if you were being honest with yourself, you couldn’t bear to see him. he smiled as he greeted you in return.

“it’s been a while, y/n, how have you been? you wanna play down the clown together?”

it had been exactly four months since the breakup, and yet your given name rolled off his tongue so naturally. chuckling, you reached for your arcade card inside your wallet. “sure, midoriya. though i think we’ve beaten bigger clowns than this one.”

ouch. izuku visibly winced at the mention of his surname. for a brief moment, his mind replayed the events of the war, and how he held you in his arms as tears slipped his eyes. a near death experience is sure to bring people closer, yet in this case, it felt like a riff that would lead you two apart.

you giggled as you swiped the card and watched as the colorful plastic balls fell towards you and him. you each picked one and started throwing them at the nine clowns standing before you. laughs and glances were exchanged, with a few victory cries as all clowns were down and gone, the machine spewing out tickets in return.

izuku cheered as he pulled you into his embrace, his arms wrapped comfortably around your waist. as he pulled back, his hand rested on your waist still, “do you wanna play some more?”

and a part of you wanted to say no. his innocence is far too much for you, constantly reminding you of what led to the end of what was the relationship of the century. even tabloids were confused as to what happened. the happiest couples are always the ones with more trouble in paradise.

yet, you nodded. his fingers intertwined themselves with yours as he drove you towards another game in the arcade. your heart pounded from pure confusion, your mind going back a year as you remembered…

him. this was the izuku midoriya you knew. the carefree, loving izuku midoriya who looked out for you always, and the one who loved you wholly.

as he and you neared a fishing pond, he and you grabbed the magnetic fishing rods. it was terrible, your attempts at catching the plastic fish failing miserably. izuku was always touching you in some way, whether it was his hand on your shoulder or the small of your back when you turned towards him with a pout, or his hand cupping your cheek when you finally got a fish.

“you never answered my question, y/n” he started, his expression completely serious. “how’ve you been?”

“i’ve been amazing, actually” you replied, arms crossing as you continued. “my agency’s teamed up with bakugo’s for some missions, and we’ve grown quite a lot!”

“i’m so happy for you!” izuku smiles, his hand on your shoulder, slowly dragging down towards your forearm.

well, it’s not or never, right?

“so, uhm, midoriya… are you seeing anyone right now?”

his eyes widened as his lips curled into a smile.

“yes, i am! her name’s—“

it was then when your brain stopped processing the words that escaped his mouth. unable to hear the name, you sighed in relief, as it was izuku's mixed signals that got you and him into a rough patch way back. it was a sign that there is no way to go around izuku midoriya without looking like a complete fool.

“that’s so great, midoriya! i’m so happy for you” you laughed awkwardly, “i knew you’d find someone good for you.”

and to be honest, it was during this moment that you were grateful his special person wasn’t you.

[witchygagirlwrites]

Consider Me Gone-Part 2

Greg "Mouse" Gerwitz x Reader x Jay Halstead/Gerstead x Reader

A trauma rolls into med that nearly brings you to your limit. You need Jay and Mouse yet for the first time when you reach your hand out there's not even one there to grasp it.

Warnings: SCENE OF AN O.D.

“Please no” Cassandra begged, falling into your arms. You requested to come along on this notification and now you were regretting it but knew you had to face it “I’m so sorry Cassie” you whispered and felt her knees go out from under her. The two men with you moved to support her but you glared at them as you sank to the floor with her, wrapping your arms protectively around the other woman “He wasn’t alone. I promise you, I was there. I held his hand. I made sure he wasn’t hurting in those last moments. That’s all I could do” 

You shot up out of the bed, a fine sheet of sweat covering your body. Mouse and Jay both were on high alert, shooting up on either side of you. “Sweetheart, what is it?” Mouse asked and you shook your head “Nothing, doesn’t matter” the sting of their words the previous night was still a little too fresh to admit that while finding Mark plagued their memories, his wife’s reaction and pain plagued yours. Jay’s face fell as if he knew just exactly why you’d said nothing “Baby, talk to us”

You shook your head “I said I’m fine” you glanced at the time and saw it was only about an hour before your alarm would’ve gone off anyways. “I’m gonna grab a shower and start coffee” “I’ll start coffee” Jay offered so you nodded and slid out of the bed at the foot of it so you didn’t have to go over either one of them. 

Jay climbed out of bed after you and walked past you while you were picking through your dresser for a pair of scrubs. He placed one hand on your lower back and it took everything in you to not tense under his touch. “I love you” he spoke before kissing the side of your head. “I love you Jay” you whispered, keeping your eyes on the contents of the drawer in front of you.

You didn’t have to look to know he shot Mouse a look before leaving the room. Divide and conquer was always their route when it came to thinking one of them had done something to hurt your feelings in some way and since Jay was the one who’d actually voiced the thought, apparently Mouse was the one tasked with damage control.

You didn’t hear the bed move before you felt Mouse at your back. “Can I please put my arms around you?” he asked and you nodded. He slipped his arms around your waist, pulling you back against his chest “I’m sorry for what was said, Jay is too. It came out wrong” you nodded simply because you didn’t trust your voice to not waver at the moment.

He stood there for a moment just holding you and you wanted so bad just to forget the hurt. How humiliating it felt when they both had acted as if your time spent overseas was nothing because you weren’t an active combatant. You had the same base training as them, you weren’t exactly Desmond Doss. You believed in kill or be killed and had done whatever it took to keep your unit safe. On top of that to know that they couldn’t even turn to a man that served, it was another woman. Yeah she’d been in your unit but how could they not realize how that would make you feel?

“Greg, I’ve got to get a shower” you whispered and he pressed a kiss to your shoulder where the tank you’d worn to bed left it bare “Ok. You want some breakfast?” you shook your head “I’ll just get some coffee” he left his arms drop and you had to remind yourself to not run from the room. What the hell were you doing to yourself? You had to get in a better mindset before work.

When you got out of the shower and were dressed you headed to the kitchen and could hear the two of them talking. “You know that was a nightmare right?” “Well damn Greg I never would’ve guessed” “Since when does she not tell us about them?”

You stepped around the corner and cleared your throat. Both of their heads whipped around at the sound and they looked like kids with their hands caught in the cookie jar “Is the coffee ready?” Mouse held up your mug and you knew it was made to your taste. You walked over and took it from his hand with a small smile “Thank you”

You leaned back against the counter and took a sip before asking “How’s the case going anyways?” They exchanged a look before Jay said “Voight think’s he has a lead. Him and Al were gonna go talk to a few people they knew this morning” “Good” you replied and left it at that. Normally mornings in your house were spent talking over coffee, planning for the week ahead. Today felt like there was a space between you and them that was strangling you with every breath you took.

______________

You dumped the rest of your coffee “I’m gonna get going” “Can we talk after work?” Jay asked and you cut your eyes at him “Sure you want to talk to me?” his shoulders sagged slightly “Princess there’s no one else on earth we’d rather talk to” you laughed humorlessly “Really?”

He ran a hand down his face “Baby, it was a freaking beer!” “A beer with another woman Jay!” you argued and he waved a hand “A woman who was in our freaking unit! Who was in the field with us! Who saw the same shit we did!” you shook your head “I was there Jay! I saw the same shit! Who the hell do you think they drug Mark back to? Who do you think had to try their fucking hardest to save him only to have to tell his wife that they couldn’t?”

Mouse stepped between you and Jay “Take a breath, both of you” you glared at him “You aren’t fucking innocent either Greg. You did the same thing! Jay is just verbal about his bullshit! Why don’t you tell me how fucking useless I am too? About how my trauma isn’t valid because I wasn’t in the field? How I WASN’T THERE TOO?”

They both flinched when you screamed but you didn’t care, hot tears were spilling down your face by that point “Ever stop to think that when Erin called to give me that heads up that it took me right back to that day too?” you looked between them and they both dropped their gaze. You nodded slowly “Of course not. You two found him, yeah and that was fucking horrific. I care enough about you two to never take away from anything you’ve endured but I am the one that he was laid on a stretcher in front of and tasked with trying to save! I am the one who had to lie and tell him he was going to be ok! I am the one who watched life leave his eyes and I am the one who held his wife when she was told her husband, the father of her twins, was not coming home. I don’t give a fuck what Athena saw. You two were drowning, ok. You come to me! ME! No one else! We’re supposed to have each other’s backs! We’ve always had each other’s backs but because she’s in town all of a sudden I’m not good enough?”

“We never once said that!” Mouse argued but a phone chiming interrupted all of you. You glanced towards the counter to see Jay’s phone lit up. You knew both of their passwords like they knew yours so you walked over to pick it up and saw it had Athena’s name on it. You didn’t even look at the text. You picked it up and threw it at Jay’s chest. 

“You two don’t even care that I’m here in front of you do you? Just because she was in the field. Did she put you two back together? Did she let herself jump so far down into that darkness just to help you two dig yourselves back up? I did! I needed you two to talk to me last night because then that meant you trusted me with the hell in your head. You didn’t. You talked to her. You chose her. Sometimes what you don’t say comes through so much clearer than what you do” 

You spun on your heel to walk out the room but both of them caught you, trying to put their arms around you. You shoved them off “No! Fuck you! You don’t get to touch me!” They both put their hands up defensively. You hadn’t realized your hands were shaking until you raised them to point one at each of them “I love both of you with my entire fucking heart but you need to decide what it is you want”

You stormed out of the room, stopping just long enough to grab your keys and phone before slamming the door behind yourself.

You sat in your car with your head leaned back against the seat, trying your best to stop the damn tears. Your phone hadn’t stopped ringing since you left home. Jay and Mouse were taking turns calling and texting. When they got to work they would probably resort to either using landlines or stealing the unit’s phones.

You took a deep breath and clicked on the group text thread. M:Sweetheart please answer your phone   J:Baby just talk to us  M:You know we would never want anyone but you  J:No one would ever compare to you   M:We love you more than anything   J:Please just answer your phone

You texted back I have to go into the hospital now. I can’t have my head on this when people are hurt or sick in front of me. You both know what you mean to me. I don’t know what that text said and I don’t want to know. I do need to know where I stand by the time my shift ends

With that you locked your phone and slid it into your pocket, checked to see just how horrible you looked then climbed out of your car. 

Two car wrecks, a delivery done in the ed, a GSW and three people with the flu covered your first five hours of your shift. You still weren’t in the best mind set but you were doing what you did best, pushing it to the side to help the people in front of you. That was how you maintained your balance, how you didn’t lose yourself. That was something you’d found long ago.

You were in the breakroom when Will came in and you dropped your gaze, pulling out your phone and hoping he hadn’t noticed you weren’t quite aces. “There’s my favorite sister in law” you cut your eyes up with a small smile “Hey Will” he sat down across from you “Are you ok?”

You nodded slowly “Yup, can not think of a single reason why I wouldn’t be” he stared at you for a moment before raising an eyebrow “I’m not the brother you’re in a relationship with but I have known you for quite a while. I love you, you’re like a sister to me.If something is wrong, even if it's something my brother or Mouse did you can talk to me” You nodded “I know. I promise, I’m ok Will. I had a bad night, dreams of delivering bad news kept haunting me” 

“Why did you do that? It wasn’t your job” he asked and you shrugged “I had letters, messages or just to let them know I held the person they loved so they wouldn’t be alone. I would want to know Jay or Mouse wasn’t alone” he smiled “You’re an extraordinary woman. Don’t know how the hell my brother and Mouse of all people got you”

You gave him a small smile “They looked cute in their ACUs” he shook his head with a laugh “There she is” then tapped on the table “I’ll be around if you need me. Just holler and I’ll come running sis” “Thanks Will”

__________________

You stepped out of the break room and heard Ethan call your name “We got an OD in trauma one Y/N! I need you”  you feel in step with him, running around the main desk and into the trauma room. You heard April calling out stats and saw Will administering another round of Narcan but when you glanced at the body on the bed, it felt like their voices were underwater. You could hear them but they were muffled. Your hands felt like they were tingling and your head felt like it may very well slip off your body. That jacket, that black jacket.

You hadn’t been back in Chicago but maybe a month. You just managed to rent a new place. It was a little one bedroom but it was in an ok neighboor and the rent didn’t kill you. You’d just gotten off back to back shifts and was curled up under three blankets from the harsh winter night. The sound of your phone blaring woke you up.You scrambled for it and squinted against the harsh glare before bringing it to your ear “Halstead I swear to christ..”

Before you could finish the threat he cut you off “I had a missed call from Mouse about an hour ago. He left a voicemail, he was slurring Y/N and now he isn’t answering” you were out of the bed before he finished talking “Come pick me up”

You followed Jay to the apartment he said was Mouse’s. He hadn’t let you out of his sight and honestly in this neighborhood? You were grateful. “How the hell are we gonna get in?” you asked and he cut his eyes up at a window. You shrugged and slung your med bag across your chest before pulling his knife out of his pocket “Give me a boost?”

He put his hands around your hips and hoisted you up. It didn’t take you long to pop the flimsy lock on the window and shimmy inside. “Y/N!” he called and you looked back out. He handed you a flashlight and his gun. “What do I need that for?” he shrugged “We don’t know what you’re going into. If it’s bad yell and I’ll kick the door in”

You turned the light on and readied the gun before stepping away from the window. Your heart shattered the moment you saw the interior of the apartment. There was no furniture,at all. A single mattress was on the floor and it felt colder inside than it did outside.

You cleared room by room and was starting to think maybe Greg had just drunk dialed Jay when you pushed open the bathroom door. “JAY!” you screamed. 

Mouse lay in the middle of the bathroom floor, a couple pill bottles lay in the sink and it didn’t look like he was breathing. You slid to your knees,throwing your med bag off onto the floor.  You rolled him over onto his side, the black jacket he wore was icy to the touch, when you noticed how grey his lips looked tears sprung to your eyes “No no no” you heard the front door bounce off the wall from the force of Jay kicking it in.

You reached for Mouse’s pulse and felt a weak, thready one. “CALL AN AMBULANCE JAY! HE’S OVERDOSED!” you screamed. You dug into your bag, shaking fingers wrapping around the narcan “Greg please don’t fucking do this to me” you whispered before bringing the medicine up to his nose and administering it. You turned him for rescue breaths, praying you hadn’t been too late. Jay ran into the room, still on the phone with the dispatcher “My-my friend is a trained medic”

You didn’t try to listen, your goal was getting to see those sky blue eyes you loved looking up at you again. “Please Greg” you whispered, administering the second dose after the time passed and was rewarded by a harsh gasp of air being forced into his lungs. “Tell them he’s breathing” you sobbed, turning him on his side again in case he puked. His eyes cracked open “Y/N?” you nodded, tears flowing down your face “Hey” “Don’t cry baby” he whispered weakly and you shook your head “Then stay awake till the ambulance gets here ok?”

“Y/N! Y/N!” you hadn’t realized you froze or that everyone in the room had realized it. Ethan, Will and April had gotten the patient stabilized but were now staring at you like they were worried you may be next “I’m sorry” you whispered and ran out of the room. 

Ethan found you in the break room, sitting on the floor with your head between your knees shaking. He crouched in front of you, close but not touching “Hey, can I touch you or no?” you shook your head and he smiled slightly “Ok. Can I get April or Maggie?” you nodded and he smiled “Stay here soldier. I’m gonna get you help. I won’t leave your side for long, I promise”

He came back a few moments later with April in tow. She climbed down next to you and slowly put her arm around you “Match my breathing honey”. You listened to her breaths and were able to slow yours after a few minutes while she kept two fingers on your pulse to check it. 

Once you were able to actually focus your eyes on them Ethan sat cross legged in front of you “Talk to me” you swallowed hard “That jacket the kid had” he nodded and you met his eyes “Greg had one just like it the night he overdosed and I thought we lost him” He shared a look with April and she nodded “I’m gonna go back to the floor sweetie. If you need me just send Ethan” you nodded “Thank you”

Once she left he looked back at you “When did it happen?” you swallowed hard “When we got back we all kind of went our own ways for a while. Jay, he sought comfort in bodies. Any bed he could warm he did. I visited families of the men I lost, delivering messages then I went to stay with my sister for a while, I barely slept or ate during that time. If it wasn’t eighty proof I didn’t want it and Greg well he found his own way to numb the pain” 

“How’d you get out of it?” he asked and you smiled slightly “Greg pulled Jay out of a hole. He was in bad shape. He’d started drinking bad, doing stuff that well he shouldn’t have been involved with. Greg got him home to Chicago. Those two being back here was like a magnet to pull my ass back” “What happened when Greg overdosed?” he asked so you recounted that night “He was so thin Ethan. I mean Greg has always had a slimmer frame but he’s always been lean muscle. We’re talking about a man that could toss me over his shoulder and laugh about it. That night, I could move him by myself with no issue. His lips were grey…it took two rounds of Narcan”

“I didn’t know” he offered and you nodded “I don’t think it would’ve hit that bad had intelligence not had just caught a case that trudged up memories of how we lost a man too. I was the medic that couldn’t save him..they don’t get that pain” he smiled slightly and nudged your knee “Lucky for you someone you know does. Any time anything like that hits you, call me. April won’t care. She loves you and wouldn’t want you to have to face it alone”

“You don’t know how much that means” you whispered and he nodded. “Feel like facing the outside world or wanna sit in here a while longer?” you shook your head “We’ve faced worse right?” he smiled “There’s that medic who sends em running” 

__________________

The moment you and Ethan stepped out of the break room you spotted Will. “Are you ok?” he asked and you nodded “Yeah, a little embarrassed” Ethan cut his eyes at you “That? We’re not doing that, ok?” you nodded “Ok” he smiled “Get to work medic” you grinned “Yes sir”

Will looked at you “Do I need to call Jay?” you shook your head “I’m ok” he gave you a look so you sighed “I’ll text them!” that seemed to appease him enough. “If you need me holler, ok?” “Ok”

How do you text your boyfriends that you screamed at that morning that you had a flashback and panic attack at work? Before Will says anything, I’m fine. Just a case threw me off. No big deal

M: What do you mean you’re fine, no big deal???  J: Do we need to come to you??  M: Are you ok??  

I’m fine, just had a bad time with a case that came in

M: What case? You stared at the text because no matter how mad you were you didn’t want to put guilt on him. He’d gone through hell. He’d fought to get and stay sober. You didn’t want to throw it in his face. Doesn’t matter and I don’t mean that like this morning. I’m ok now

M:If you need us, call. I love you  J: Even if I can’t come, Mouse will. I love you

Love you both, always

You slid your phone back into your pocket and jumped back into work.

By the time you got off you were dead on your feet but you considered stopping by the precinct to see everyone before going home. You didn’t want to text Jay or Mouse so you texted Erin Hey babe, want some coffee? It didn’t take long for her to text back Omg yes! I’ll steal you from dumb and dumber I will love you so much you laughed and sent back Text me orders

___________

You pulled into the front lot with the two carriers of coffee. You’d texted Erin to send help down and smiled when you saw Al coming out the front door “Oh she sent my favorite detective” he smiled “Hey kid” you passed him one carrier then grabbed the other and the extra coffee that was Trudy’s. 

“How was work?” he asked and when you grimaced he laughed “That good huh?” you shrugged “Put it this way? There’s days I kinda miss the simplicity of being a trauma medic compared to an ed nurse”

You followed him in and stopped at the front desk to offer Trudy her cup. She smiled “I have no clue how Mouse and Detective chuckles got a woman like you” you winked at her “Neither do they” 

You followed Al up the stairs after he scanned his palm. You could hear everyone’s voice drifting downstairs and smiled when you heard Erin and Kim laughing. You’d gotten close with the unit over time. They were your friends, hell your family. 

You made it to the bullpen and started passing out cups. Voight smiled “You’re an angel sweetheart” you shook your head “No one likes a liar now Hank” and everyone cracked up. You were about to ask where Jay and Mouse were when you heard their voices coming from the back hallway. You turned towards the door with a smile that quickly fell when you realized they weren’t alone. Athena was with them. “What the fuck” you and Erin both spoke in tandem.

All three heads turned towards your voice and Athena had the nerve to smile “Fireball” you grabbed the cups of coffee and threw them at Jay and Mouse “I’m done” you didn’t try to stop yourself from running that time. You ran down the stairs, hearing Erin’s raised voice along with Jay and Mouse’s followed by Voight yelling for everyone to shut up.

When you got to the lobby you slowed to a fast walk and nodded to Trudy but the moment you hit the door you ran for your car, collapsing into the driver’s seat.

____________________

You moved through the house with your duffle bag shoving everything you came across that belonged to you in it. Thank god the United States made sure to supply you with a bag big enough to pack your life in.

You snatched your old dogtags off the corner of the mirror where they hung with Mouse and Jay’s. They didn’t need them. You would burn your photos if you had enough time. Your goal was to get gone before they could get home. They knew how you felt, they knew your insecurities. You’d laid everything on the line for them and they hadn’t cared. She’d smiled in your face! SMILED.

You’d kill her if you ever got within arm’s reach again. She didn’t know them like you did. She didn’t know a damn thing about them compared to you. Every demon, every dark corner YOU faced. More tears broke free but that didn’t stop you. If you weren’t worth fighting for in their opinion why would you fight for them? 

You did a final look around then took your key off and laid it on the counter. You didn’t need it anymore. You locked the door behind yourself and threw your duffle into your trunk. Maggie would let you sleep on her couch until you could figure things out. Your life just fell down around you, the men you love just turned their backs on you. You’d never felt more alone but knew she wouldn’t turn you away. You did have some people that truly did love you even if Jay and Mouse weren’t on that list after all.

@desimarie12

@alterna123

@allisonargent144

[themalhambird]

I put Next Generation on for background noise while crafting, got distracted by just. Straight up watching it, and that means it's time for my longstanding tradition of [insert current media fixation here] Star Trek AU: Rings of Power edition.

Gil-galad is Captain of the U.S.S Lindon. He is not paid enough. Yes, the Federation doesn't use money, he's still not paid enough. His First Officer (on this diplomatic and scientific vessel) likes to stun first ask questions later, and his chief engineer does things like strip all the engines down and rearrange everything inside them instead of sleeping because "the ship was complaining the wires were itchy."

Celebrimbor is the chief engineer in question, from a small planet and a people with an affinity for crafting and machinery beyond most humanoids, but Celebrimbor takes it to a whole other level. He and the Lindon talk to each other. He made a little mechanical mouse to keep the plasma conduits company, got thrown in the brig for refusing to dismantle it when an Admiral doing an inspection orders him to, and got released from the brig 72 hours later when taking the mouse away from plasma conduits ended up triggering a series of engineering catastrophes.

Galadriel is first officer. She and Gil-galad disagree often, but are still a strong team. Elrond is communications officer, though he's trying to pick up as much medical knowledge and experience as possible because he's 1) genuinely interested but 2) Celebrimbor and Galadriel both have a tendency to Get Into Situations and knowing one end of the med scanner from the other comes in handy.

Adar is... okay picture this. There's an old abandoned mining colony on an astroid littered with scrap, and the Lindon needs spare parts after taking heavy damage in a storm or something, so Galadriel and Celebrimbor beam down...and are immediately taken captive by a group of the mineworkers- humanoidish beings calling themselves Uruks- abandoned when the capitalist shitbags had finished stripping the place bare. Adar refused to leave and has been struggling to keep the small group surviving, aims to have them thriving, but the whole place is powder keg. Anyway, respective reactions to being captured:

Galadriel: I am going to fight my way out of this with my bare hands and my teeth if I have to >:-/ Celebrimbor: All this broken machinery is easily fixible, i just need a few days- in exchange for being able to return to our ship with the parts we need? :D

Anyway while Celebrimbor is being helpful and Galadriel is being mad about it, the Uruks move against Adar because stuff has been shit for so long, and stuff explodes, and Adar ends up helping Galadriel and Celebrimbor make a run for it, at which point Celebrimbor is like. "Look, come back with us to the Lindon. There's nothing here for you, we can drop you off somewhere-" and that is how Adar ends up stalking around the Lindon or skulking in the engine room like a grumpy cat. He ends up sidling into an unofficial ship's security role thanks to a series of Episode-of-the-week type shenanigans.

Sauron is a reoccurring problem. He first boards the Lindon as Halbrand, an ambassador needing conveying around several star systems. Charming, model passenger, gets on very well with Galadriel in particular. The series of incidents and arguments that break out while he's on board are nothing to do with him. Elrond thinks something's *off*, but can't articulate why. Anyway, Halbrand leaves them. And then it comes through that Star Fleet never had any record of him...

A year or so later a new engineer is assigned to the Lindon- Annatar. By the time he's exposed, Celebrimbor's nearly blown up the whole ship up and a whole raft of Star Fleet engineering secrets have been stolen...

[b4kuch1n]

tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"

[tribbles-the-lesbian]

crazy how being on all my meds again (finally) really makes a difference in my ability to function >:3

[voltrons]

i know that a majority of the characters in aftg with visible scars and injuries don’t necessarily have permanent or chronic injuries but it’s a nice change of pace to see fan art depict injuries and scars across the board. comics really shy away from characters being visibly hurt for longer than the story “requires” or showing past physical trauma outside of one off moments and it’s especially wild that characters so reliant on physical fitness aren’t regularly depicted with tools to aid in the upkeep of that. both in canon and in fanon??? for something with a plot as outlandish as cape comics it’s so refreshing to see scars and kt tape and braces be a mainstay in aftg fanwork. love u recovery devices. love u body maintenance tools. love u sports medicine

[moeblob]

5min doodle of Gaius!

[dairyfreenugget]

(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)

Hey hey hey

May I interest you in

(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)

Teehee

[featherymainffins]

Yippeee got my meds renewed, I can finally eat twice a day again

[marsuni]

does your doctors ever just drop something on you much later about your meds or your conditions and it explains a lot

[tittyinfinity]

6 months ago: I am approved for a house cleaning service thru my disability

Now: I am about to go fight my housekeeper's ex husband

[widevibratobitch]

aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.

[xviruserrorx]

I will say one of the funniest parts of this last hospital stay was accidentally frazzling my nurses and doctors on accident

[mothbeasts]

okay cleaver in dst would be interesting too i think personally. Something something can couriers survive HELL. cleaver voice ummm i dont think this is the mojave.

[fslurusami]

this is a little insane of me but i want modern au characters to have american ibuprofen cuz i want them to have nice things (cheaper and stronger than ibuprofen in japan and also comes in huge bottles instead of blister packs) but i also want everybody to know this is an intentional creative choice i made. so wtf do i do like slap an entire footnote on a little drawing. i have so much autism