#{ ' well. this got out of hand. it's the meds ;_; }
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readwritealldayallnight · 2 days ago
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“Believe the briefing’s down that way, LT.” Soap says, walking alongside the Lieutenant as they make their way to meet the rest of the task force, when he notices the older man starts turning down the wrong hallway.
“Small detour.” Ghost replies in his deep Manchester accent, continuing on his way, uncaring whether the Sergeant follows him or not.
“Where we goin’?” The Scot turns to quickly follow him, curiosity piqued, knowing Ghost is nearly always religiously early to briefings. He has however noticed him appearing nearer to the start time recently now that he thinks about it, something that wouldn’t mean anything should it have been anyone else, but with Ghost, these minuscule changes never came without reason.
“Jus’ have to scratch an itch.” Ghost utters, barely glancing sideways to see the bewildered expression on Soap’s face.
It’s not long before Soap recognizes that they’re on their way to passing by the med bay, confusion worsening when he notices that the Lieutenant keeps fidgeting with something in his pocket. Something that’s making a - crinkling noise? Just as they reach the doors, he watches him pull something out- almost doing a double take at the sight.
“What the fuck are ye doin’ with a bunch o’ lollies?” The Scot asks, befuddled.
“Jus’ shut up and watch, Johnny.” Ghost quickly murmurs, pushing through the doors and walking in a confidently past the nurses station without a care, as though he does this every day. Maybe he does-
Soap tentatively follows behind him at a slower pace, unsure of what he’s walking towards exactly, but utterly intrigued nonetheless. As he turns around a corner, he sees Ghost has just walked up to you, one of the bonnie medics he’s seen around.
“Morning.” You smile softly at him, warmth apparent in your gaze towards the tall man. “Was wondering if you were coming or not.”
“Pick a colour.” The Lieutenant practically grunts at you, holding up a handful of colourful lollipops towards you in his large gloved hand, ignoring your teasing.
“Think I’ll do red. Matches my nails.” You say, leaning towards him to reach a hand out and pluck said lolly from his grasp. Both men watch as you remove the wrapper, pink tongue peeking out from your mouth to wet your plush lower lip. Soap feels the wires in his brain click as well as his pants suddenly tighten when he sees how you wrap your lips around the sucker, closing your eyes and letting out a small, satisfied hum as you taste the candy and pull it out with a ‘plop’.
“Thank you, Ghost.” You blink up at him sweetly, sticking your tongue out to lick at the lollipop this time before sealing it back in the wetness of your mouth, eyes locked with the man before you the whole time.
The first time you met the Lieutenant was while treating him in this very med bay. Already enamoured with you to begin with, the deal had been sealed when you had pulled out a few lollies from your coats pocket, offering them to him. He had come back to see you the next day, his own stash of candy in hand, saying something about how it was only fair that the doctors got sweets every once in a while as well. ‘Every once in a while’ turned out to be every single morning you worked, truly nothing more than an excuse to see you.
And if you looked up at him so sweetly as you licked at the treat, his blood never not rushing down south in the process, well then that was just an added bonus wasn’t it?
Readjusting his tactical pants and licking his own lips, Johnny had never been so grateful to Ghost before.
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leighsartworks216 · 3 days ago
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Oh, Hold Me Now
Zayne x AFAB!Reader
Guess whose period just started haha The things I would do to be in Zayne's arms rn istg
Title from "Hold Me Now" by the Thompson Twins
Warnings: menstruation, period fic, lots of domestic fluff, reader has a uterus but no other gender-defining things
Word Count: 1,726
Main Masterlist
Love and Deepspace Masterlist
AO3
Tag List Form
With a whimper, you curl in on yourself. The pain in your abdomen rapidly ramps up. You clutch at your belly, willing it to stop, please god stop. It doesn’t listen until tears prick at the corner of your eyes. Then it slowly ebbs away, letting you breathe again.
You reach behind you, but all you find is a cold bed. You whine, annoyed with your emotions and just how upset you are that Zayne isn’t there. Even on his day off, he doesn’t sleep in.
You slowly slide out of bed. Your feet touch your warm slippers, a gift from your husband when you were dating and had just moved in together. They hug your feet in a familiar embrace, cushioning your weight as you force yourself to stand. You shuffle off to the bathroom.
It’s miserable and uncomfortable and you’re cursing your existence by the time you finish on the toilet. On top of that, you’re almost out of product, and what you have definitely isn’t going to last the day. You groan to yourself thinking about Zayne, on his nice day off, having to take care of you. He wouldn’t complain, but it gives you half a mind to change into real pants and go to the store yourself, just so he doesn’t have to deal with this. The other half is just oh so comfortable in your pajamas. You have enough stuff to last a couple hours, you’ll just go then.
After you scrub your hands within an inch of their life, you open the medicine cabinet and pull out some good ol’ painkillers. As desperate as you are to get rid of this pain, you’re not desperate enough to wash the pills down with water from the tap. Not yet, anyway.
Wanting nothing more than to be at the peak of coziness right now while your insides tear themselves apart, you throw on one of Zayne’s sweaters and leave the bedroom to face the cruel day ahead.
You see Zayne’s head peeking out over the top of the couch as he reads a medical book, as big as his head and as thick as your arm. You would chastise him for working, but he’d say he’s reading for his leisure. The threat of an oncoming cramp forces you to ignore him and turn to the kitchen.
“I already got you a glass of water,” he calls. He turns to look at you over the couch, expression softening with sympathy as you double over, hugging yourself as though you could compress all the pain into a tiny little ball. It grows in intensity for a moment, forcing a whimper from your throat, before finally receding. You take a deep breath and stand back up, continuing to hug yourself. “Come sit down, my love. I’ll make you some tea.”
How could you refuse? You shuffle over and settle down into the plush cushions. You almost whine when he gets up, but you bite it back. You do pout, though, which makes him smile despite your pain.
He rounds the couch and plants a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll only be a minute. Take your medicine.”
The water is still nice and cold when you take a sip from it. So cold you can feel it running down your throat. The pills go down smoothly, and you’re more than grateful not to be choking on pain meds today of all days.
You close your eyes and lean back into the couch, abandoning your slippers on the floor in favor of tucking your feet underneath you. You can hear the kettle starting to bubble as he opens and closes cabinets, gathering what he needs to make you the perfect cup of liquid gold to ease your suffering. The thought brings a mix of guilt and affection; both upset that he is taking care of you on his day off, and glee that he’s, well, taking care of you on his day off. If this was the weekend, maybe you wouldn’t feel as guilty. As it is, he has work again tomorrow, and he had work yesterday, so it’s not so much a day off as it is taking a house call.
He returns with a matching pair of mugs, steam rising from the tops and the warm smell of tea and bitter coffee filling the air. He sets his drink of choice down on the coffee table, but you greedily cradle yours to your chest, letting the heat warm your face and the scent relax your body. He sits back down beside you, drawing you closer to him while being extra careful not to spill your tea. He doesn’t say anything about you wearing his sweater, but he does playfully tug on the hem, signaling that he’s noticed.
You smile for the first time today and tilt your head up to kiss him good morning. “Thank you,” you hum, kissing him again for good measure, before adding, “and I’m sorry.”
He shoots you a disapproving look, softened from his lack of glasses and the morning light coming in from the windows. “Don’t apologize. It’s completely out of your control.” He slips his hand under the sweater to massage gently right where you need it. You relax into it immediately, practically melting against him as he takes care of you. His massages are always the best, and they drastically lessen the cramps that torment you this morning. “Do you need anything else, my love?”
You make a disgruntled noise at the reminder. “I need more product.” You quickly cover his hand with one of yours, heated from holding your mug, to make sure he doesn’t pull away. “It can wait a bit longer, though.”
He chuckles softly, but he makes no attempts to move. His fingers press gently into you, seeking out where you need it the most. You hiss as another cramp assaults you. You instinctively draw your knees up, leaning more of your weight into him as you curl up. He slips beneath the final layers of clothes to lay his warm palm fully over your lower abdomen. The heat sinks in slowly, but it does help.
“Can we watch a movie?” you ask as the pain comes back down, voice slightly rough. “Unless you wanna keep working.”
“Reading a book isn’t working,” he retorts, fully catching onto your jab. You point it out nearly every time you go to the library and he checks out something from the medical section.
“It is when it’s almost a thousand pages of nothing but medications and surgical procedures.”
He leans forward to reach the remote and passes it on to you. While you turn the TV on, he also grabs his mug, before relaxing back into the couch. “What do you want to watch?” he asks instead of continuing to pointlessly defend himself.
You hum noncommittally as you scroll through the library of films and shows, ready to watch at the press of a button. There were a few medical dramas you liked watching with Zayne, if only to listen to him correct the show or insult how unprofessional the main cast is, but they don’t really strike your fancy right now. Something funny would be nice. Or something comforting.
It’s only a matter of time before you put on a familiar movie you’ve seen about a thousand times. Zayne makes no comment on this. Instead, he blows gently on the surface of his coffee and takes a tentative sip. His coffee contains enough sugar to mostly negate the bitter flavor of the drink, but it’s just perfect for him. You drop the remote to the side and take a sip of your drink as well, humming at the perfect flavors that ease down your throat. The morning sun warms you both.
-
“Get up for a moment.”
You hum sleepily, looking at him with tired confusion. “The movie isn’t over,” you mumble.
He gives you a reassuring smile as he rubs your back. “I know, my love. I’m not leaving yet.”
With a gentle nudge, you pull your feet from under you and stand on wobbly legs. You watch as he lays out along the couch, legs parted, and gestures for you to lay back down. He can almost see the spark of excitement in your eye as you situate yourself on top of him, your legs between his and your head tucked safely under his chin. He pulls the blanket from the back of the couch overtop of you, before wrapping you in his arms. One hand massages the tension from your lower back while the other pets your hair. It’s heaven, being in his arms like this. You melt fully into him, forgetting the movie in favor of hiding from the sun outside, burying your face in his chest and shoulder, and breathing him in deep. He smells warm and sweet, with the shock of his aftershave. He smells like home.
You scoot upward to hide your face in his neck. He welcomes you readily, pressing a kiss to your temple. “I’m sorry I’m ruining your day off,” you mumble.
He tilts his head toward yours slightly, hiding you further from the sun. “How did you ruin it?” he asks softly. “I get to watch one of your favorite movies with you while we cuddle. How is that ruining my day?”
“Cuz you have to take care of me…”
“I always take care of you.”
You huff. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
“I don’t think I do.” He rests his cheek against you. His lips brush your forehead as he speaks, like little kisses with each word. “Why do you think taking care of you would detract from my enjoyment of being around you?”
You remain quiet. The only reason he knows you haven’t fallen asleep yet is because of the hand you have on his chest that traces shapes over his shirt. He stops massaging your back to catch it, holding it firmer to himself.
“I can’t think of a better way to spend my day off.”
Your sigh fans across his skin, making the hairs on his arms raise. “I love you…”
He smiles. You feel it against your forehead as he kisses you again. “Get some rest. When you wake up, I’ll run to the store.”
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Tag List:
@the-golden-jhope @deepzombieyouth @huen1ngk41 @armycaratlover @cheesemachine44 @nyx2021 @angel-jupiter
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httpsdana · 4 hours ago
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heyyyyy, i love your work, please can you do where you’re pau cubarsi’s girlfriend and your a med student and take care of him after your injury xxxxx
Healing Touches~Pau Cubarsi
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*Pictures are from Pinterest*
I found two requests that are basically the same so I'll just combine them. enjoy <3
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request from here
master list -> part 2
players/drivers I write for
Pau laid on y/n's couch, his head resting on the armrest with a slight grimace, trying to act casual despite the fresh stitches along his jawline. The injury had happened during his last match, an unfortunate clash that had left him with ten stitches and y/n with a heart full of worry. He’d been patched up by the team doctors, but that didn’t stop her from fretting over him.
y/n sat beside him, brushing a careful hand along his uninjured cheek, studying the stitches with a concerned frown. “Does it hurt a lot, Pau?” she asked softly, voice barely above a whisper.
He gave her a lopsided smile, clearly trying to look unfazed. “cariño, it’s just a few stitches. Nothing I can’t handle,” he replied, attempting to shrug off her worry.
She shot him a gentle but stern look. “Pau, it’s ten stitches across your jaw. Don’t act like this is just a scratch,” she murmured, running her fingers lightly through his hair. “You need to rest, and I’ll make sure you do.”
Pau let out a small sigh, reaching up to take her hand in his. “I know you’re studying to be a doctor and all, but I’m pretty sure the team patched me up well enough,” he teased, giving her hand a light squeeze.
She leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead. “Well, maybe they did, but I still want to take care of you. You got hurt, Pau, and that’s not something I’m just going to brush off.”
He shifted slightly, pulling her closer so she was leaning over him, a playful look glimmering in his eyes. “Fine, but only because you’re so cute when you’re in ‘doctor mode,’” he teased, his voice soft.
She rolled her eyes, unable to hold back a small smile. “Pau, I’m serious. Now, have you had any water? You need to stay hydrated for healing,” she scolded gently, reaching for the glass she'd brought him earlier.
He chuckled softly, the sound a little muffled by the stitches, and took the glass from her hand, making a show of drinking. “Happy?” he asked, giving her a little wink as he set the glass down.
“Not yet,” she replied, brushing her thumb lightly over the edge of his jaw, careful to avoid the stitches. “But we’ll get there.”
His hand reached up to cup hers, holding it against his cheek as he gazed up at her. “Thank you for taking care of me, amor. I know you’re busy with your studies and all…”
She shushed him softly, leaning down to press a gentle kiss near the corner of his mouth. “You’re more important. Now, let me fuss over you, and stop trying to act like you don’t need it,” she whispered, her fingers tangling in his hair.
He grinned, a hint of mischief in his eyes despite his injury. “Guess I have no choice but to let my very cute, very smart med student girlfriend look after me,” he said, pulling her down into a warm hug, his arms wrapping around her tightly.
She relaxed into his embrace, careful to avoid his jaw but grateful to feel his warmth, his heartbeat steady beneath her cheek. It always amazed her how Pau could be so calm and lighthearted, even with stitches on his face. But she knew he was doing it mostly for her, to keep her from worrying too much.
Pau’s fingers traced gentle circles on her back, and he tilted his head slightly, looking at her with that same adoring expression. “You know, amor,” he started, a teasing tone slipping in, “if I knew getting hurt would get me this much attention from you, I’d have gotten injured ages ago.”
She pulled back slightly, playfully swatting his arm. “Pau Cubarsi, don’t you dare joke about that! You better not even think about getting hurt again. I was so worried when I saw you all bloody and in pain ” she scolded, but her voice softened as she met his gaze, the affection in his eyes making her heart flutter.
He chuckled, bringing her hand up to his lips and pressing a feather-light kiss to your fingers. “I promise, I’m kidding,” he murmured, his thumb grazing her hand. “But I have to admit… I love this side of you, so caring and worried.”
“You make it sound like I’m never caring,” she replied, pouting slightly.
“No, no,” he laughed, pulling her back into his arms. “You’re always caring. But right now, it’s like you’re my personal nurse. I kind of like it.”
She sighed, resting her head against his shoulder. “Just let me take care of you, okay?” she whispered, feeling her voice soften. “I want you to be all healed and safe. now do you need me to get you something?”
Pau pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, his voice tender. “I’m already feeling better just being with you, cariño, I don't need a thing” he murmured. “It’s like you’re my medicine.”
She felt a warmth rise to her cheeks, and she couldn’t help but laugh softly. “You’re so cheesy, you know that?”
“For you? Always,” he grinned, his hand moving to stroke her cheek. “Now, doctor, what’s my next treatment? I think it might involve lots of cuddles.”
y/n rolled her eyes, laughing as she pulled him close again. “Fine, but only because you need it.” she shifted carefully, lying beside him on the couch so he could rest his head on her shoulder. His arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her close as he nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck.
“See? This is the best medicine,” he murmured, his lips pressing light kisses along her collarbone.
y/n giggled, feeling his warm breath against her skin. “I’m supposed to be taking care of you, not the other way around,” she reminded him, trying to keep a serious tone but failing as she felt herself melt into his embrace.
“Then just let me hold you,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. “You’ve done enough, cariño. I’m okay now, really.”
She let out a sigh, relaxing in his arms, feeling his steady heartbeat beneath her fingertips. “I love you, Pau,” she whispered, voice barely audible.
He tilted his head, his eyes meeting hers with a soft, heartfelt gaze. “I love you too, amor. And thank you… for always being here. You have no idea how much it means to me.”
His words made her heart swell, and she reached up to cup his face, bringing him close enough for a gentle, lingering kiss. His lips were soft against hers, the familiar warmth filling her with a comforting peace.
When she finally pulled back, Pau’s eyes were still closed, a content smile playing on his lips. “Now, that’s what I call the perfect remedy,” he murmured, his voice a sleepy whisper.
y/n chuckled softly, brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead. “Then get some rest, okay? Doctor’s orders.”
He opened one eye, giving her a playful smirk. “Only if you stay here with me, nurse.”
“Fine,” she whispered, settling into his arms and pressing one last kiss to his forehead.
She stayed close, feeling his breathing slow as he drifted into sleep, holding her tightly, as if he never wanted to let go.
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b4kuch1n · 7 months ago
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tdov was like a week ago already but I just wanna say when I came over to vacation slash help my sworn brother move flat he told me, "ever since you said you wanted to get top surgery I've been thinking about it. it's straight up number two on my bucket list"
#bakuspeech#number one is a house bc obviously. if u can own a house wouldnt u#he was very drunk at that time of the evening. I was not bc I have the constitution of a hot air balloon and any stimulant will blow me up#(relatively new development. france fucked me up big time turns out)#we held hand on his bed for like the whole evening. it was honestly very funny in hindsight but we were extremely earnest in the moment#and Im like. working on this thing as well. I dont got meds or therapy lmao Im bootstrappin here#but yeah early last year his bf offered to get me meds and I... turned it down... I think I was worried abt like. idk. something#but one year past looking back Im fully like that was a stupid move you shouldve gotten meds. youve once again fucked urself baku#but yeah with that kinda realization Ive also come to realized I've somewhat? accepted. that I'm just gonna be. like this#this in light of a number of likely chronic stuff too (hence my balloon-like constitution lmao) and#that's kinda bled into the rest of me without me really noticing#but him bringing that up fully unprompted... kinda jolted me out of it#its just. really incredibly sweet. that someone doesn't want me to settle for what I make do with#and like. preps for that work. just kinda held my hand and told me it's possible to do this actually#I didn't really express how I felt very well in that moment I think my brain is very bad and I process emotions with like a day of delay#but. well. Im thinking abt it Right Now. so yknow thats the kind of impact that had on me lol#not super sure why I wrote all this down here really. I think I just want a good n nice reminder that object permanence is real#and I exist in my friends' life even when Im going insane in a hole by myself#and with the power of friendship we can alter the universe's plan for ourselves and also kill god#that's that. anyways I eat lunch now and then pass out probably. last night was... eventful lmao#but!! very good things on the horizon hopefully. well manifestly we hold hammers and we use them#have a good day lads. let's go out and slay monsters under a highway
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tribbles-the-lesbian · 4 months ago
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crazy how being on all my meds again (finally) really makes a difference in my ability to function >:3
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voltrons · 4 months ago
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i know that a majority of the characters in aftg with visible scars and injuries don’t necessarily have permanent or chronic injuries but it’s a nice change of pace to see fan art depict injuries and scars across the board. comics really shy away from characters being visibly hurt for longer than the story “requires” or showing past physical trauma outside of one off moments and it’s especially wild that characters so reliant on physical fitness aren’t regularly depicted with tools to aid in the upkeep of that. both in canon and in fanon??? for something with a plot as outlandish as cape comics it’s so refreshing to see scars and kt tape and braces be a mainstay in aftg fanwork. love u recovery devices. love u body maintenance tools. love u sports medicine
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moeblob · 2 years ago
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5min doodle of Gaius!
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dairyfreenugget · 7 months ago
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(Going insane boinkinh one AU in my head)
Hey hey hey
May I interest you in
(Slowly slides my FaaF AU towards you but void just Disappears without a trace one day before the accolade)
Teehee
#thylacines can talk#faaf au#i love this au very yummy. a very fun twist on how Flower's dynamic with their parents would progress afterwards#the vessels live but the void exits their bodies in quite a violent manner (extreme pain and literally throwing up an entire person worth of#void). Flower was on guard duty and theyre found barely conscious in a pool of rapidly evaporating void. passes out seconds later#PK also had the displeasure of experiencing extene pain and burning as void forced its way out through his skin <3 And his moulds all melted#and evaporated. after the initial shock wears off theyre hit with “Oh No#the vessel“ and rush to find them. Well somebody else was already looking for the royal pair about this#Flower wakes up dazed and in pain in their father's workshop. their stomach hurts their throat burns and they feel lightheaded. the entire#place is considerably brighter than they remember and in they can hear two faint voices in the background but theyre too preoccupied with#examining their now pure white hand in shock to focus on anything else. until they hear their mother say “My wyrm they're awake” and#suddenly their parents are by their side. Now the two have no idea what void leaving their body might have done to them. Are they still#hollow? are they still dead? do they understand anything are they sentient? or was what was done pernament even without the void? do they#have the mind of a child if their sentience was restored? or do they remember anything? So WL stays by their side and helps them sit up#while their father goes to grab his tools. She's trying to keep them calm and comfort them but theyre still too disoriented to pay her much#attention. Until their father checks their breathing and they yelp audibly from the cool metal contacting their skin and suddenly they seem#much more alert. theyve never experienced true coldness before. PK quickly apologises and tries to be gentler with them. Theyre breathing#properly and they have a heartbeat. And he just pauses for a long while just. listening to their heart beating. Many emotions to be had#after the exam's over he asks them point blank how theyre feeling. And Flower looks up at him still seeming a little disoriented. and then#they lower their hand to their stomach and mutter 'My tummy hurts...a-and my throat burns'. It's to be expected after the way the void#left their body. so he goes to grab them some water and meds and they also ask for food and a mirror. And after he returns they just stare#at themself in the mirror and pull on their bangs for a while then blurt out 'I have your eyes' when PK asks if everything's okay. And he#and he almost chokes up as he replies 'Yeah...Yeah you do'. Flower eventually spins a lie that they remember everything but its all distant#and blurry. Like they were not aware until now. They figured it'd be better to not break their hearts#And now the three have to figure out how to be a family while PK is also scrambling to find a new solution to the infection#oops i meant to only give a brief rundown in the tags which is why it was in the tags. but i got too invested KDHDKFB
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marsuni · 8 months ago
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does your doctors ever just drop something on you much later about your meds or your conditions and it explains a lot
#Like my seizure meds can make me dehydrated#I've been on them three years and just kinda chalked up being thirsty to ya know...needing water but nope Keppra can make you dehydrated#Or when I was taking sucrafate for 6 months before a Dr told me I had to take it several hours before eating BC IT PREVENTS UPTAKE#OF ANYTHING INCLUDING MEDS SO I BASICALLY WASNT TAKING MY MEDS FOR MONTHS AND WAS GETTING SICK AND DIDNT KNOW WHY#BC NO ONE BOTHERED TO TELL ME I SHOULDNT TAKE IT WITH OTHER MEDS JUST NOT FOOD??#AND THE DOC DIDNT EVEN TELL ME INTENTIONALLY SHE JUST MENTIONED IT OFF HAND AND I WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT#SHE WAS SO SHOCKED NO ONE TOLD ME AND IT WASNT LISTED ON THE BOTTLE#I'm still mad about it I was getting extra seizures for months for no reason bc of an oversight#Since I got that info I've been taking my meds properly and I haven't had a seizure for almost a year#:)#Remember to ask every question you can think of and ask aggressively#Every interaction with other meds every side effect#You NEED to know you're not being pushy it's your body and health#ASK THINGS OF YOUR DR ITS WHY THEYRE THERE ITS FOR THE BEST#chronic illness#medicine#Medication#Even if you are being pushy it's your right to know everything about why and what they're giving you#I also thought Ativan was a neasua drug for a while bv they always give it to me in the er when I have a cvs episode#But it's for anxiety and they use it to put me out while the actual drugs work and that's okay!!!#But I didn't know so I stared asking for Ativan (and zofran) when I went in and got denied because they thought I was a junkie/on detox#For a med a doctor would otherwise order for my distress bc I didn't know better#Know your meds and know them well it can only help you in the long run#Keeping a list written or digital that you can show doctors also helps so they know how drugs can interact if your an er frequent flyer#Like me
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tittyinfinity · 1 year ago
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6 months ago: I am approved for a house cleaning service thru my disability
Now: I am about to go fight my housekeeper's ex husband
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widevibratobitch · 8 months ago
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aaaaaaand it's starting. mom's bestie just texted me asking to come over this weekend cause it's Bad and it's probably the last chance to talk and maybe say goodbye to my mom's husband and i need to take care of her. god. i wont get through this weekend unless im high or drunk istg.
#time to slightly overdose my depression meds again ig lol#anyway. it is a little better with me these last two weeks. turns out the meds do work when you actually take em regularly#but first my best friend's break up that she's blowing up to unimaginable size#acting as if she just got divorced with the love of her life after 20 years#and not ended a few months long relationship with a guy who's been the source of most of her troubles since the moment they started dating#(ofc she's valid and id never tell her that because like. i get it. some people feel stuff more deeply. but its hard to be supportive#when you genuinely feel like this is the best possible outcome for her and that the relationship was only dragging her down all this time)#and now this. and this is gonna be infinitely worse. and then it's gonna get a million times worse when he actually does die.#and i feel like the worst most selfish person ever which like. probably am. but i did tell my cousin who actually knows my mom really well#and she said she understands and that my fears ARE valid because SHE'S terrified of how she's gonna handle my mom#and she wouldn't wanna be me in that situation cause it's gonna be so much worse for me lmao#like i feel like people who know my mother casually really dont understand just how unhinged emotionally she is#anyway. i feel so overwhelmed. i cant handle this jesus.#but im also emotionally unavailable and refuse to actually confide in another person because i dont want to be a bother <3333#god i love tumblr. i can literally type anything in those tags lol it's the perfect form of venting since you can just scroll by#but i will still have let it out of myself anyway uwu i literally dont need that therapy fr#anyway. i feel so unbelievably fucking lonely and on one hand it's my own fault for withdrawing and refusing to ask for help.#but on the other hand. i AM alone. like there's no one who can help me in this particular situation.#i have no siblings. obviously my dad isnt gonna help. it all falls down to me. good god. i wanna throw up.
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yourcalamity · 1 year ago
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im about to have such a potent opportunity to disappear into the woods forever it itches
#i wonder how long it would take anyone to figure it out lol#youre welcome future coldcase vloggers#but for the record if i do mysteriously vanish no its not because of my job#must be said because thats the easiest explanation people come up with yeah it would be convenient right#if i could just get a new job and suddenly everything in my life will be fixed and all of the other blatant issues clearly coming from other#sources will cease to exist#also therapy and meds will do the same thing. i might as well walk up to a stranger and ask them to snap their fingers and cure me#just as long as the hand i turn to for help points in another direction technically im being ‘helped’ right#life is just a fight and you have to keep fighting for yourself and others and hope one day someone is going to fight for you#and when people dont fight for you when you need them to it becomes clear that you dont even need to fight. it would be easier to lose#you already upset them by not fighting for yourself and instead of fighting for you now theyre fighting againt you. do you really want to#fight harder. do you really want to fight people you love. no one wants that#ive been so emotionally destroyed these past years and idk if i will ever recover or find worth in myself again#and if i got a new job tomorrow at the most comfortable high paying company in the world with a one day work week and unlimited pto#i would still feel worthless because of the experiences ive had and the way everyobe has brushed over them as if i cant feel emotion#i have been carrying so much hurt#now im going home to say goodbye to the remains of a stranger who wouldve disowned me had we ever spoken on even ground#but sure i will enjoy my trip
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xviruserrorx · 1 year ago
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I will say one of the funniest parts of this last hospital stay was accidentally frazzling my nurses and doctors on accident
#first i was told to name all my diagnosis so i did and then when they were on poke number 3 for IV access#i suddenly remembered i had epilepsy XD#and so i was like 'oh! i forgot i have epilepsy!' and my nurse gave me the most DONE expression ive ever seen#their was a doctor that was in their that knew me too and she went 'oh yeah you do huh?' and wrote it down XD#then when i was going under for my procedure i had to have multiple different meds before hand as well as precautions in place#and so everyone was running around trying to get these meds and then when they were wheeling me back#we once again forgot about my epilepsy XD and the nurse notice and she was like 'wait you have epilepsy! did you get that med'#and so that happened but then once we got in the operating room they had pushed the anesthesia already but they were bickering back & forth#going 'get her on her back' 'no he likes them being on their sides' 'no thats the other doctor' 'is it?' 'i think it depends'#*walks over and looks at my chart again* *other guy hands me mouth piece to put in* *other guys walks back over*#'do you have trouble breathing on your back' *me with anesthesia already pushed and in my system* 'hwell ow at i an-'#*realizes mouth piece is still in my mouth and removes it so i can talk* 'oh yeah i tend to d-sat at night when i sleep'#*nurses realizing im going under finally* 'get her on her side! get her on her side!'#and then i blacked out XD#i love pre-op so much just because its so hilarious with what happens#virus rambling#anyways sometimes the hospital is fun the staff makes it homey and fun
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mothbeasts · 1 year ago
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okay cleaver in dst would be interesting too i think personally. Something something can couriers survive HELL. cleaver voice ummm i dont think this is the mojave.
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fslurusami · 1 year ago
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this is a little insane of me but i want modern au characters to have american ibuprofen cuz i want them to have nice things (cheaper and stronger than ibuprofen in japan and also comes in huge bottles instead of blister packs) but i also want everybody to know this is an intentional creative choice i made. so wtf do i do like slap an entire footnote on a little drawing. i have so much autism
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rxkuyo · 2 years ago
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the urge to tell this woman that she's fucking dumb in the pettiest most angry way vs. me having to calm myself down and be as friendly about pointing out things she might want to reconsider because I am trying to help this horse and telling her off in any way will just result in her shutting down and not considering my (very valid) points at all
#yoooooo bitch you're killing your horse because you're fucking dumb <3 much love <3 get help <3#getting her a 'get well soon'- card but I'm referring to her mental state <3#I'm severely pissed off and angry again but whatever else is new#just give this horse away to someone who cares and will pay vetbills instead of sending their kids to expensive ass private schools#and going on vaca 4 times a year so that their kids have something exciting to talk about at their stupid expensive private schools#while your horse can't fucking breath cause you won't pay for vet visits + meds lmao#boo fucking hoo we have to pay 150€ a month for someone to clean out our kid's rabbit's stalls because our kids have never learned#to take responsibility for their pets and won't look after their rabbits - that they absolutely desperately needed#and also never cared about once ever since they got them - and now we can't afford this sick horses' meds because we're broke#also we're going on vaca next month can you please stand in at work for me ? thanks#I hate this place I hate this place I hate this place I hate that I supported this place for so long#I just want this poor horse outta there and in good hands#fucking why is it so hard to get that she's gonna get him killed with her bullshit#oh he's not coughing as much meaning he's now healthy and he no longer has permanent lasting lung damage because magic or w/e ????#so now we're not giving him his meds anymore because he's in perfect health. no sickness in this horse. none#like woman ??? he. can't. fucking. BREATHE. OH MY GOD#maim bite kill kill slaughter bite bite scratch maim bite bite kill etc etc
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