#^this is not a poly situation btw she's my best friend but she is also my platonic soulmate

[gildedtragedies]

bro why are there coyotes screeching outside my house GO SOMEWHERE ELSE

[kitcatia]

There's something that really gets me about the enhanced tragedy of an AU where Arthur, Jack, Quincey, Lucy, Mina and Jonathan all are A functional and healthy polycule. The thought that they were perfectly happy and that everything would have worked out if Dracula hadn't interfered in their lives breaks my heart.

For clarification, this is my first time reading the book, but I got some spoilers (heard about certain movies and watched OSP's video months before I decided to join Dracula daily) and I keep imagining:

Given the fact that, at least so far, I perceive Lucy as the 'main poly' that connects her boyfriends and girlfriend; and despite the fact that Mina would also be poly and link Lucy to Jonathan, and even considering the possibility of some of the suitors dating amongst themselves…

The loss of Lucy would absolutely break the polycule. Sure, they'd be bloodshot and eager for revenge, but what comes next? I'd say that, even though they'd make all the effort to still be part of each others' lives, Lucy was the link that kept them all together. She was their reason to hang out and do things as a group and, without her, a lot of things they used to do together would simply not make sense anymore. I'm sure they'd manage to still be a great friend group, but everything would change so much, to the point that they barely can call themselves the same people that once composed such a happy and hopeful polycule.

(This is all a modern AU concept btw)

I love the idea of Mina struggling with her feelings because, see, she has known Jonathan since forever and she has loved him since they were kids. Jonathan is the best friend and best boyfriend any girl could have ever asked for.

But she's also known Lucy since forever and loves her very deeply. Their relationship is so intimate and so special. They love calling each other "my best friend". And yet… some lonely nights, when Mina rereads old messages where Lucy playfully joked that they are so overtly affectionate for one another that "someone that doesn't know them could easily suppose they are a couple", she can't help but wish that this hypothetical someone would be right in their supposition.

Both Lucy and Mina know themselves to be bi and have been out to each other for a while now, even though they are very secretive about the details of how they figured it out, since they were each others' awakenings and wouldn't want the other to know that.

Both of them would love to be together, but Mina also loves Jonathan and Lucy would never want to get in the way of such a lovely couple. Also, they're both terrified that a step too far could ruin the amazing friendship they already have.

Mina is also out as bi to Jonathan for sure. I like to think he'd get very emotional when Mina came out to him, because he knows, despite identifying as straight, how difficult this type of honesty can be.

Mina wishes there was a way to reconcile these feelings. She wishes that loving Lucy and loving Jonathan weren't mutually exclusive. And some night, after spending hours grading piles of tests, she just caved and decided to look up online resources on how she could possibly deal with a situation like hers.

After a lot of thorough research and a very long and sweet conversation with Lucy and Jonathan, the three of them come to the conclusion that there surely is a way for Mina to date both of them. Mina strikes me as the type of poly to have incredibly organized schedules and spreadsheets on how to reconcile her work life with spending time with her two partners. Lucy would start to figure out that she might be poly too and Jonathan, despite still being monoamorous, would be extremely supportive of his girlfriend and his metamour.

Eventually, Lucy starts getting along with Arthur and comes to the conclusion, after talking about it with Mina, that there is space for one more love in her life. Arthur takes some explaining as he struggles for a while to grasp the concept, but thankfully Mina still has the PowerPoint she made to explain it to Lucy and Jonathan. And it is a very comprehensive PowerPoint.

But then when Quincey and Jack come along, Lucy is a bit scared that this would be too much. Too much for her, for Arthur, for Mina, for Jonathan. Poor Jonathan! He will need to be briefed on so much when come back from his business trip!

When she sits down with her boyfriend and her two new friends, asking them very sweetly (I imagine Arthur holding her hand to give her courage) if they are familiar with the concept polyamory, Quincey's eyes widen and Jack blushes and looks down to fidget with his hands, as they are taken by surprise. Lucy's heart sinks all the way to her stomach. She knew she shouldn't have done this, that this was a dream too good to ever come true, that now she ruined her chances to have Jack and Quincey as good friends, that now they'll see her as a selfish weirdo. Arthur's grasp on her hand tightens, as if holding it more strongly would transfer some strength to Lucy.

But all of this tension quickly dissipates as Quincey's eyes go from surprised to delighted and Jack looks up smiling an awkward but ultimately happy smile. Arthur looks Lucy in the eyes and tells her he knew his friends wouldn't turn down the proposal of a girl as amazing as her.

Mina quickly receives a message and she is thrilled to hear she's getting not one, but three new metamours to befriend and with which to conspire about all the best ways to make Lucy happy.

She simply cannot wait to tell Jonathan about such exciting news! He really can't come back from his trip soon enough.

[enmi-land]

imagine that instead of Mila her brother is the who is in the group and idk what happened between them (Mila and the boys ) but they end up dating behind her brothers back and while discussing the best friend dating or flirting with the younger sister thing they feel nervous or happy because of whatever her brother said like if he gave a negative reaction or a positive reaction to the situation

If that’s too much it can be just a scenario with her brother

OMGG so in the revamped version on milakosmos, mila is an only child (it makes more sense with the storyline—but since my blogs ended up deleted, they’re all mashed together on this one, so sorry to anyone who noticed the inconsistencies lol but it’s basically bc the revamped bed and old ver aren’t separated yet) BUT she has an older male cousin whose basically like a brother and comes into play later on in the revamped rmu ver 🌸🌸🌸

BUT ANYWAY!! he’s the same character and personality but with different relation basically so on I-land when they talk about family, he still refers to mila as his little sister rather than cousin 💖 and basically everyone is curious bc since he’s so good looking his sister must be the same right?? they tease him and try to get him to introduce her to them but he’s like “no” bc he’s super overprotective >:(

flash forward to the last ep of I land where someone asks who he would introduce his sister to, and he goes “no one” (just like hoon lol) bc he doesn’t trust any of them near mile 😆😆 and he’s absolutely right not to, bc the fist time she meets the boys at one of their concerts, they’re all falling over themselves to get to know her bc she’s their age and just so sweet 🌸✨✨ but her cousin is givin them the evil os they secretly exchange contacts and stuff without him knowing… so he would defs feel betrayed when he finds out that they have something going on— and it’s literally no mila was crying about it and so he’s mad bc they ignore his off limits rule and also bc they made her cry ✨✨ but rlly he knows she’s her own person so he’s basically like “okay, just promise to make her happy and never make her cry again, and maybe I’ll think about giving you approval” but keep in mind he doesn’t know they’ll get into a poly relationship-like he was just waiting for Mila to choose one of them to get with not all seven 😆😆😆 so yeah he probs faints out of shock at the though of his little sister figure with seven boyfriends—who are his members, btw 😆😆 and since he’s one of the oldest members (just a little older than hee) best believe he’s going full tyrant mode on them whenever he can 🌟🌟🌟🌟

but ahh this was super cute idea I loved it so thanks for sending it in 🤭💖💖💖✨✨

[shortnsweetgf]

i feel you may be getting more than you bargained for

im poly btw. t4t etc etc etc whatever. anyways. up until yesterday i had two gf’s, one who was ldr and the other who’s my roommate’s sister. literally broke up with the first one last night bc poly stuff wasn’t working for her which is hence why i asked this other person to make me a drink, and she knows why bc she went how are youuuu and i was so tired and i’m like hm. i don’t know her well enough to be honest and thought about it for way too long so i was just silent for like a minute and then laughed and went im fineeee and she was like THAT was a response. n then i was blushing bc fuck she’s CUTE. like damn im over here trying to be normal. the amount of times i’ve sat in this kitchen looking at someone with heart eyes while my roommate is semi oblivious is embarrassing. anyways. like i said. best behavior. im leaving them be. plus i have work tomorrow

housing situation is a whole mess of its own but, my roommate’s sister isn’t *actually* his sister, she’s found family but they consider each other that. when i first met her she was wearing like tight leggings and a crop top and i was trying so so hard but i was looking and she said since seeing me she had already decided she’d be down if i was. roommate had a bday party and we ended up talking more and cuddling and yeahhhh. it was pretty great tbh. she’s so sos so so so cool (she’s also like 8 years older than me but that’s besides the point) and so nice and she drives a lime green motorcycle and i’ve ridden on the back of it and tbh it wasn’t as scary as i thought it was gonna be! i trust her. anyways she’s picking me up from work tomorrow and we’re going to this arcade bar that i’ve never been to with her friends and i’m nervous bc i haven’t met her friends, it is still a work night, night stuff isn’t always my scene and i still need to get my new loops. but anyways being with her is like hella new, like, maybe a little over a week and given things with the last person i told her i want to take things slow (ish) given how we started and it seems like we’re on the same page. so a lot going thru my head rn.

one, heartbreak bc literally last night and. OH FUCK. OH FICK FUCODJDJDJ okay. so. call me an asshole if u want but we broke up over text which is a whole thing and i apologized for it bc i should’ve waited. but she kept wanting like. like complete and total resolution and i didn’t want to lie to her. anyways i felt like i should resolve this more so i said we could call tn and i totally. fucking. forgot. gonna kms it’s way too late now, tf am i supposed to say to her. i was dreading that phone call but now i’m kicking myself im sitting here like half tipsy and a little giddy and FUCk

OH THIS GOT WILDER im not sober enough to know jow to answer yoh rn but good luck bestie i hope everything works out 😭

[alwaysoc]

saw ur posts about ur theories on ln12 I was wandering if you had more theories u would like to share? And also who do u want to end up with kat? also do u think her secret will be discovered soon? i wander if her brother has reincarnated since he was mentioned a bit in the last volume

Thanks for the ask Anon! I'm giddy at finally getting something sent to my inbox!

Do I got theories? What are they?

For theories, I have a few, but honestly not that many, they're more like, 'Headcanons/cool things that I want to have happen in the future!' Like Pochi turning into a dragon, or super large menacing-looking wolffo! Cool stuff, but they're not too likely to happen.

Oh! Actually, here's one that I highly support and remember thinking about!

The person that educated Sora is reincarnated, and might not even be dead!

I thought I came up with this theory by myself, but another, much more eloquent user actually put the theory into words, and even came up with more reasons than I initially had!

More opinionated stuff, under the cut~

Logically, in terms of who would work best from an actual endgame marriage standpoint, it's obviously Maria. Katarina canonically simps for her to long lengths in the novel. And, while Katarina being friends has helped everyone in some way, I'd argue that she helped Maria out the most in such a (relatively) small amount of time.

Katarina's Romance Situation Opinions!

As for who I want Katarina to end up with, for personal reasons, it's 100% Mary! This doesn't necessarily mean that I think she's the best actual option for Kat, and is just something that I would personally like to see more of.

She helped mend the gap between Maria's mom and her, and helped with a lot of Maria's emotional issues in what was approximately a month.

"But she did similar things for Alan and Geordo's relationship!" I hear non-existent debaters shout.

Well, yes, HOWEVER! Maria constantly makes Katarina want to do her best with how incredibly hard she works. Maria makes Katarina want to be a better person, and that's what a very healthy relationship should make someone want to do.

I'm terms of who I think the author is trying to veer to, I think that they have a lot of partiality to Geordo and Maria. However, I'm more-or-less hoping at the end goal is the:

Poly/Harem Route - it's the easiest way to satisfy everyone (or maybe just me, since I feel like I'm the only one actually fine with things staying in stasis-mode).

With HameFura I have confidence it could actually be pulled off relatively well! Most of the members in the current lineup aren't very aggressive to one-another.

Mary might want to have Katarina all to herself, but she has an adorable friendship with the two other girls. Even though she mostly seems like a dog owner to Alan, she does legitimately care about him, too (as is stated in her pov). She doesn't take any of her schemes too far, and the only ambitious one is just taking Katarina to another country. No murder, or insulting, or nasty gossip and rumor spreading of the others vying for Katarina.

The only ones that might have issues are Keith and Geordo, who butt heads a lot already, and honestly, I'm not entirely sure it would simmer down if a poly-harem route happened.

Even so, though, I believe it was stated that no matter who Katarina chooses in the end, they would respect her wishes. So I'm sure no real harm would come if Kat opted for it.

So! For personal reasons, it's Mary, the one I actually think would be best for Kata would be Maria, I think the author is aiming or either a Geordo or harem route, and ideally, since I'm sad about changing dynamics and the possibility of less screen time and interactions between the main cast (because I have an unfortunate soft-spot for all of them, sadly) I'd like the harem/poly ending.

Oh, uhhh, if you wanted me to say who I think Kata should get with in terms of guys, btw, my immediate answer is Alan. Their relationship is so dang wholesome, and unlike Geordo or (at times, Keith), Katarina feels wholly comfortable around Alan.

Fun fact because I love it btw: Alan was the first route Katarina cleared in Fortune Lover!

Sarah was very... difficult for her appearances. It's almost like trying to catch a butterfly because they're not flutter-flapping in a straight. Line!

Next up: Kata's secret!

The volumes tend to be a bit of a slow-burn for most of them, and I think I can safely say that Sarah didn't appear in 13 (as far as I've read from translated summaries anyway).

She first appeared in Vol. 4, then it's not until 11 when we hear from her, in 12 she gets a bit more focus, but since she doesn't show up in 13 (from what I can tell). So I think best-case senerio is that I missed her and she is in vol 13. If not, then I expect her to not show until 15-17

[justcallmenikki7]

Min Yoongi & Park Jimin: BTS!Twilight!Au HeadCanon

Summary: here is a glimpse at the beta and the epsilon of the pack!

Warnings: mentions of insecurities/eating disorders, depression, anxiety, FLUFF, POLY if that is still being considered as a warning along with mxm, fluffffff, my bad writing

W.C.: 1.4k

Notes: so i basically worked on this when i had breaks at work, so it might be a little confusing and jumped around, but i know. i will be going back and fixing this whenever i have time and after writing the one shot. SHOUT OUT TO @minniepetals​ for being a BIGG motivator for me during this long dry spell or writing. she is amazing and i cannot thank her enough for reassuring me and working with me. i know that i have been slacking with writing (hate work) but trust me, i am writing. my life has been too hectic lately and i am wanting this series to be amazing. ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!!

Masterlist

·   Both Yoongi and Jimin are lonely

·   But different type of lonely

·   First off – Yoongi

·   To sum it up – Yoongi comes from a broken family where his mom died from brain cancer and his father turned into an alcoholic after her death

·   Yoongi was four at the time

·   Growing up motherless and with an alcoholic father – he became very angry at the world and hated almost everyone

·   In school he’s known as the quiet, but angry kid because of outbursts he has when people push him to far (which doesn’t take a lot from him)

·   But the one person who didn’t push him to far was jimin

·   Jimin bonds with Yoongi on a personal level, and he is very fond of the fairy like boy

·   They met in sociology

·   Btw yoongi is 26

·   I will get to the age thing when I talk about jimin – so one second

·   So yes, he graduated from high school and was trying to live a life of his own, which backfired on him due to turning.

·   Speaking of turning

·   When he turned, he cut all ties with Jimin after this – which hurts both of them

·   But let’s take a look at Jimin’s life

·   So Jimin comes from what others would call a ‘perfect family’

·   Jimin can admit that his family can be considered perfect

·   But jimin does not feel as if that he belongs in his family

·   Coming from a family that is very successful and considered to be ‘perfect’ jimin feels very pressured

·   Everyone has high expectations for Jimin so Jimin always puts a fake smile on and does everything in his power to please

·   From this, he becomes severely insecure and develops depression and an eating disorder

·   When Jimin was a Junior in high school and Yoongi was a senior, they both have sociology and they sat next to each other

·   Que love at first sight

·   Truthfully the both of them did not know what it was, but they know that there is this c e r t a i n bond between them

·   So when Yoongi became distant towards jimin, Jimin becomes very depressed and closed himself off

By the way, Jimin is now out of high school and so is Yoongi

They’re both in college with the pack*

But when they accidentally ran into each other when they both were in the woods, Yoongi felt something weird, the weird that Namjoon explained when he first met his imprint

It clicked to him and then 

BAM

Yoongi imprinted on Jimin and they have reunited 

I am going to give a more insider on this in a seperate one shot 

But just know that this was a very cautious beginning for the two of them because of Jimin’s insecurities and Yoongi’s change.

Eventually, mainly a month later Jimin changed and that cleared things up for the two

Wolf Descriptions

Yoongi is the beta of the pack and is badass

When Yoongi changed, Namjoon really helped Yoongi by calming him down and reassuring him that everything’s fine

Form the first meeting, Yoongi felt a connection (alpha and pack one) to Namjoon and found a fondness and closeness to the alpha

Like in Jungkooks one shot, Yoongi indeed does have an all black coat that allows him to blend into the night to the point even those who have the greatest eyesight cannot even see him

Yoongi jokes about how his fur coat represents how he has no feelings or soul 

Yoongi’s Wolf is also his best friend (like how it’ll be for every member) 

But his wolf helps him cope better because his wolf Dagny, helps Yoongi stop and take a breath kind of deal

But if the situation is where either both Jimin and you (imprint) are threatened or harmed, or anything in that aspect, better pray for that person because Yoongi is similar to Paul in this area - there’s literally no way to get Yoongi calmed unless it’s either his imprint or Jimin coaxing him. 

As for Jimin - Sereperindity vibezzzzz - fur color = blonde.

Jimin’s Wolf is actually kind of smaller than everyone else’s

To a human he seems gigantic but when he’s in wolf form standing next to everyone else he has a smaller frame

But one thing that comes out of this is that he is able to maneuver through trees and is a lot quicker 

Just like everyone else, Jimin’s Wolf is his safety and his wolfs name is Neon

Whenever he is feeling emotional or insecure he turns into his wolf so he is able to cope and talk to someone 

Even tho he has you and yoongi, his bond with his wolf is something that both you and Yoongi can’t have with jimin

Okie that sounded harsh, but ya know what I mean?

Thankfully both you and Yoongi understand this and aren’t jealous of it and are actually happy for Jimin to have someone to turn too and have a good coping mechanism. 

Imprint:

Okay, FYI - everything is still based in college (I think I forgot to mention that)

So, Yoongi and Jimin are both in the same classes (Yoongi actually went behind Jimin’s back when he enrolled because he wanted to be in every class with Jimin).

Jimin wasn’t thrilled but he couldn’t deny his fluttering heart at this

But y’all meet in Developmental Psychology on the first day

I wanna be cliche hehe

But you ran into both Jimin and Yoongi as you were turning a corner which led to the class

You heard a growl *damnit yoongi* which scares you into a stuttering mess

And as you looked into Jimins eyes, 

BAM

imprint

Yoongi also felt this too because of the bond 

Que guilty Yoongi and Dagny

But you did feel something but you were severely intimidated by the two BTS members so you ran off

Both Jimin and Yoongi wanted to chase after you but they both also didn’t want to force the bond onto you

So being causal, they both sat by you 

They totally did not sniff the air for you backpack (lmaoooooo)

So when you found out that they were sitting by you, you definitely tried to move seats but with your luck, they both glared at anyone to the point where those would put their bags in the seat next to them

You sighed, which made them feel bad because they could feel the anxiety you radiated, but eventually you gave in and sat down

They totally feel really bad

During the lecture they stared at you to the point you snapped 

“Can you please stop staring at me, I’m trying to concentrate.”

You were shocked from how they listened to you automatically 

You apologized for sounding rude - you just want to focus on your studies

After class they asked to talk to you

Talking meaning Jimin rambling to you while Yoongi is quietly staring at you adoringly 

Basically all you could comprehend is jimin asking to be friends 

To which you agreed 

Okay I’m trying to save everything for the one shot

Anyways

You balance both Jimin and Yoongi due to their insecurities and their demons

You’re the reason why they now wake up everyday 

1 because they want to make you happy

And 2 - you make them want to wake up

Of course they both felt like this before they found you

But they now have another reason , and also because the thought of you finding someone else haunts them

You CONSTANTLY have to remind that YOU LOVE THEM!!

Also that you’re their damn imprint and that you could never, couldn’t want to love anyone else like you love them

They also don’t realize how much they help you 

Especially by when your anxiety gets bad

They’re the only outlets you have when it comes to your anxiety 

Sometimes you do feel like you came crashing into their life and interrupted the relationship and you do sometimes feel like you’re left out

Once those two found about those feelings

Love ….. you sure were attacked by reassurances and love by them

You truly don’t realize how much you help them

It’s so disgustingly fluff that the pack sometimes feel like they’re watching a Hallmark movie lmao

It’s so cute

So in all - you complete them and they complete you. 

It’s a balanced relationship with open communication and help/love

No one is left out and no one feels alone

I want to be in a poly relationship with Jimin and Yoongi :(

[sp00kybitme]

Okay so this is really personal but I feel like I need to share it in order to better my health because being upfront about your trauma is a good way to heal from it. So buckle up because this post is gonna be a real doozy:

So let's start by backing up about 4 years ago in the summer of 2017, I was 17 since my birthday follows the year number and I was going through my own personal turmoil, dealing with my already medically diagnosed PTSD, OCD, Anxiety disorder, and severe depression. I had falling outs with most all of my irl friends due to my declining mental health but the decline started around august as my therapist who worked the best for me was leaving the clinic. She was openly queer and I related a lot to her since I felt like for once I wasn't alone yet after she left I was distraught. Also at the time I had a falling out with my father and my brother was a recovering drug addict so you could say shit was really complicated around that time and my head space was not well.

So back in 2016 I was able to get a PS4 and I hadn't used it until 2017 due to being more focused on my mental health but I caved and began playing Overwatch and there I met some folks who made life seem somewhat normal for once, no high end conflict, no drama, just simple fun with friends is all I wanted and for a while I actually had that! That was until the coming month september.

So September was when I started breaking off from big friend groups and settled with 2 people, let's call them Z and J for context, So Z was someone who I would say had undiagnosed mental health issues and J was someone who was mutual friends with Z because they went to high school together. Z and J were some of my only friends and we as people really bonded over stuff and I felt like life was actually turning up after losing so much shit that year.

So just for preface/context: at this time I identified with she/her pronouns and went by the term pansexual/demiromantic but now after much time I identify with they/them pronouns and am at least asexual, as for romantic I'm still figuring that out. So November rolled around and I noticed conflict immediately, Z and J were subtly arguing and J was using a victim complex mentality to guilt Z into caving yet at the time I was an oblivious 17 year old who was just desperate was friendship to the point of trying to always be a mediator.

Z was always talking about how lonely they were and how every relationship they had never worked out and at the time I was not out about not being cisgender and so they perceived me as a girl. Throughout September to november they would CONSTANTLY ask me out to the point of it being a desperation and a guilt trip and at this point I was afraid. I had lost EVERYONE in my life here and it was so frustrating but for a month I would keep my boundaries up and say no because I genuinely wasn't interested in a relationship and I didnt feel taht way about Z but they continued to push me and eventually I gave in and I remember the exact place it happened.

So we all 3 had a daily routine of getting on and playing Overwatch for hours just to talk shit and goof around so that day we were skirmishing on the "Temple of anubis" map and I said yes and in retrospect it was a horrible time to do that because it was in front of J and in turn made them feel loke a 3rd wheel. I wanna say that me conceding into a relationship while having no attractiom or interest was wrong of me and that I apologize for but again I WAS pressured as a minor. Also I forgot to say that Z was 19 and while that kind of age gap isn't inherently the worst, I was still an emotionally vulnerable minor being coaxed into a relationship.

So things went on relatively the same except for the fact that J was beginning to sound more spiteful and ended up getting upset easier and volatile which I blamed myself for but we'll get more into J very soon. So Z and I were noticing the change in behavior but tried not to bother J with it because they always didn't wanna talk about it. J confided in us at one point by telling us about their living situation being troublesome, they claimed they had no privacy, were verbally abused by their mother, and had relatives who were also abusive. We both had empathy for J and I was strongly affected by that since I had a strong disconnect from my father at the time who was abusive in a religious way.

We tried to keep things relatively normal at this point for the sake of J but Z was always trying to be bluntly romantic with me and I wasn't interested although they did ask me for "thigh pics" (lemme preface by saying I was still a minor at this point) but I was coaxed into that and virtual s*x which I was extremely uncomfortable with but Z had a strong tendency to victimize and guilt trip and I just wanted friends and had PTSD from friends levaing me and calling me selfish. It's not something I'm proud of but I genuinely was THAT scared of losing friends. In instances where J would get spiteful and resent Z, J at one point left our group chat and group and didnt reply to us because they attempted s*icide. We were HORRIFIED to find that out and really tried to keep a close eye on J into the new year.

2018 rolls in and now is the year that I consider my worst, I will TW// onward for talks of verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, talks of s*xual assault, s*icide, homophobia, and gaslighting. So after J's s*icide attempt I felt even WORSE in a relationship that itself was already one sided but I powered through as to not upset Z. The friendship dynamic we had at this point was gone as it only seemed to be arguing and fake excitement. One thing we all did in the game was idolize specific characters and obsess over them for mental comfort to the point that we got emotionally distraught over their deaths in game, genuinely very unhealthy for all of us. One thing J would do at times was purposefully pick me and Z's characters in game in commit s*icide in game with them just to upset us and would sometimes mentally torture Z by forcing them to be the character Z hated which only screwed up Z's Mental health. J would also alwsys victimize and act like they weren't being treated fairly and that all culminated in January.

January 2018, J began putting the thought of a polyamorus relationship on the table as in J, Z, and I would all be in a relationship together which I wasn't too keen on but was open to if it made everyone happy. Z wasnt interested at all and for the span of 2 weeks of January, J kept trying to manipulate and coax Z into a relationship and had me try to convince Z as well which I didn't know was wrong but granted I didn't understand Poly relationships until years later. Z eventually half caved and gave it a try but a day later Z backed out because they felt uncomfortable. I was a bit irritated at that time and so was J but I didn't personally know why because I was very oblivious to love and how it was supposed to be. We also would play 1v1 type games for fun until this time because both of them were seriously bothered by losing in 1v1 games and would gloat when they won. I personally didn't care as much and would joke around for the most part just to have fun. After this month we stopped playing 1v1 type games.

Early February came and we all began hanging out in skirmish (which means like a map where you just freeroam for 30 minutes until it refreshes), sometimes we would do ship dynamics with each other for fun and at the time we were joking around. Me and J joked around about two male characters (Junkrat and Roadhog) being together and if you have seen the two characters then you'll know why. Their dynamic as friends is flawed but a popular one yet nonetheless I liked their dynamic as a relationship at the time. Around this time, Z was beginning to do what I would call "selective homophobia" as in they would like some gay ships and despise others. When Z was presented with a WLW (lesbian) ship, they would be 100% supportive yet when a specific MLM (gay) ship was presented, they would make gagging noises as if they were trying to throw up. I should also mention how often Z would send Overwatch porn to group chats and how it made me incredibly uncomfortable, especially as a minor.

J would ultimately hold the blatant homophobia against Z and tried to turn me again Z for it. During this time, J was messaging me privately to try and convince me that Z was a bad person and that I should break up with them. Ultimately I agreed and broke up with Z over this and me and J distanced myself from Z to just hang out together. I was personally distraught in just finding out that a friend I was close to ended up being Homophobic all this time and emotionally it broke me a lot. At the time, J was there to help me emotionally and that initially helped me build trust with them. Eventually in mid February they asked me out and since they had helped me so much mentally, I felt out of a sense of obligation that being with them was something I almost owed them.

Side note: I wanna bring up this point as just a weird coincidence: February itself has always been one of the worst months for me every year, something horrendous has happened to me each February of each year and its weird because of how often I can recall this still being the case.

So After being around J for so long we started to just joke around and have fun as friends. They actually showed me their face for the first time over a video call which actually surprised me because they looked different then I thought they were but nonetheless I enjoyed their company because I felt like I had a friend. March rolled around and my birthday was coming up, my 18th birthday which was more of a big deal to J than me. They wanted to see me in provocative pictures and were constantly talking about how excited they were for it and I didn't understand why really. They were also 19 btw and they seemed way too excited for something as simple as that kind of picture. The day rolled around and I felt uncomfortable, I was told to send pictures and I did which admittedly made me uncomfortable as hell yet I still did and I was given positive affirmation for it. Little fact about me is that one thing I didn't get much growing up was positive affirmation so getting that made me feel like I was actually doing something right for once.

Over the next few months, J went from supportive and well intent to showing their true colors. As time went on they began to get more and more controlling with the things that I did as an individual. It went from supoorting the fact that I struggled with PTSD to using it as a reason that I shouldn't be making other friends besides them. From being supportive of my open mindedness with sexuality to coaxing me into spewing hateful rhetoric. Their family was actually really supportive of me at first, the thibg they had said about their mom turned out to be a lie used to play on my sympathy because their mom adored me as a person and constantly would ask if me and my mom needed anything. They sent us two big care packages through the mail with food and money for food and I originally was against that not just because I'm genuinely horrible at taking gifts but because they had my physical address and knew where I lived in case they wanted to "visit". The care packages meant a lot to me and my mom because we've been low income since I was little and having the luxury to live in a house or not have to worry about food consumption was something I never had.

During late spring, J began to be a lot more forceful with me by manipulating and gaslighting me into thinking many toxic things. I was afraid at this point of both J and being alone again. They would tell me that I should start acting more feminine and "like a girl" and that was REALLY triggering to me since over a big part of my life, I was questioning my gender identity and being forced into this feminine box made me hate myself. They would tell me to wear "panties", talk higher pitched, and even tell me to be a submissive partner who just lets them lead and me follow. I'm naturally a more dominant person in general so it was like I was disregarding a huge part of my identity. I was almost silenced into this role that J wanted me to be. They would force me to do lewd things online and while you could say that I shouldn't have been worried since it wasn't irl, they knew my address and last name.

One instance I remember was that J asked about my deadname and I told them and then questioned why I would change that name since it "was more feminine and fit me". It was upsetting to hear that but at least they didn't deadname me after finding out. They also kept telling me that I wasnt allowed to be attracted to anyone but them. I wasn't allowed to protest because they would threaten killing themselves and actually send a picture of them with a knife to their throat as if to threaten me.

A detail I left out intentionally was something that disturbed me the most about them and really makes me think they have a serious form of some kind of dissociative mental disorder. (Context: I'm not stigmatizing folks who have Dissociative disorders, my mother has one and the symptoms J exhibited make me think of someone who experiences detachment or disillusionment. Im not going to diagnose them but my instinct makes me believe that it could be something similar yet they have never been medically diagnosed.) J would constantly talk about a friend they had in elementary school who had taken their own life and how the spirit of this friend still keeps near them since they were close back then. This friend almost seemed to become a way to manipulate me later on in 2018.

This friend of theirs almost seemed to be a way to seperate themselves from how they treated me or avoid blame. This friend would threaten me that if I didn't let J r*pe me that they were gonna commit s*icide and that it would be my fault for not doing what they wanted. They also would threaten me to do what J said or else they would "possess" me. I'm someone who has had bad experiences with spirits so I didn't want to have more hell. J themselves would sometimes get extremely angry when I stood up for myself or expressed stuff I was really interested in and would threaten to track me down, assault me, and kill my mom. They also began pitting me against my mom because I would talk about how my mom was getting worried about me being hurt but J said that my mom was faking it and manipulating me and I almost believed J but I know my mom and I know she cares too much about me to do something like that.

Around September, I was practically an emotionless shell. I wasn't excited about anything, I wasn't angry anymore, I was barely feeling much of anything but a deep seeded sadness. I lacked in a lot of places and repressed any emotion I had so deep that I couldn't react to anything anymore. I think J began to notice because they started to actually act concerned after a while but that was flickering like a light switch. One of the last instances that I broke down was august of 2018 when I began crying heavily over microphone and begging them to not hate me. They had no reaction, no remorse , no empathy and when their mom came in they just left me there crying without affirming me at all.

During this time, I was sending hundreds of nude photos a day to appease them and they would get off and go to sleep and during the night I would secretly cry and look at queer based things in private to try and keep some semblance of my identity in tact. I actually started watching Sanders sides around July 2018 and enjoyed the series and how nice the fanbase seemed and it somehow helped me get through this rough period of time.

October was probably some of the worst time because I ended up missing my favorite holiday, Halloween which was the only time I personally enjoyed being myself because the element of the holiday made me happy. That halloween I spent on overwatch with J, overall miserable and hating myself. I also forgot to mention that J would dictate what I wore, they would hate that I wore boxer briefs and men's cologne and deodorant, they constantly questioned why I was trying to be masculine when I was AFAB but again I was also closeted with my gender identity and this shoved me even more into the closet when they would argue with me about it.

November rolled around and I had practically been at my breaking point, J was trying to convince me for weeks to move down south to live with them and their family and I was practically being forced. I have a fear of flying and I kept saying that I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving my disabled mom by herself and my mom also hates flying. J was trying to get things their way and forced me too and I was looking into flights even though I was deadset on not going. November 11th 2018, I wasn't replying to J's texts right away because I was actually standing up for myself. They began HEAVILY threatening to end their life and I remember sitting there and crying without emotion then I hung up on them and told them to stop calling and texting me as they had begun to text and call me incessantly. I said I needed a break and finally let out a breath when they said ok.

Around late November, I felt as though I had misjudged Z and unblocked and messaged them, apologizing for being a dick to them. They initially forgave me and I was just going to move on but they asked if we could play in a public chill server and I accepted just to try and get my mind off of J. As we entered into the game, J suddenly started spectating and Z left instantly out of fear. I only talked to Z just to apologize and give context as to what happened, I was desensitized and just needed a friend. J messaged me apologizing frantically and saying "if you've moved on to date Z, just tell me so I can move on" and I said "no, I just needed a friend right now and I need my space. Don't talk to me for a while, respect that one thing." And thankfully, I was actually left alone.

December rolled around once again and at this point I had finally blocked J and moved on from everything, J's mom had messaged me on Facebook and told me that I was a "filthy cheater who just used J for their kindess and didn't care about them" but I did actually genuinely care deeply about J yet he abused my compassion by gaslighting me and putting me into this false sense of security. Before I could reply, she blocked me so she never actually took the time to ask me. I was feeling guilty for leaving J but I was reassured by Z during that time period and Z had apologised for previous comments as well. Z ended up introducing another friend to the group, we'll call them A. We would first play Overwatch but immediately switch to Minecraft which I had bought when still with J to play with their family. Around this time I had begun to cling to Z uninitentionally due to recovering from my trauma and needing that affirmation that I wasn't some terrible abuser, as J had manipulated me to think I was. Z was getting a bit bothered by this yet they had never publicly told me nor did they understand why I clung to them in the first place. Z knew I had PTSD and I had told them exactly what I had just described earlier about what J had done to me and Z was initially very empathetic though I was never told that my clinginess was bothering them because I was in recovery mode. Eventually towards the end of January, I was told by A that they knew why I was so clingy with Z. At first I was confused because they both had known that I had PTSD but A proceed. "The only reason you're so clingy with Z is because you're secretly still in love with them, I can read you like an open book and you would do best to stop denying your obvious feelings for them" Hearing this made me personally disgusted, appalled, and upset mentally. Z kept to the side during this discussion and didn't go against A however they didn't deny A's words.

I retorted by speaking about my trauma and how it made me cling to people unnecessarily but then A proceeded to invalidate my trauma by implying that I was over exaggerating what I had gone through. I felt awful and I forcefully distanced myself from them both only to go back once again out of fear of being alone. This continued for a while until July 10th, 2019 when I finally distanced myself from Z for good. I made my own account on Instagram and over the span of 2 years, I built up a community of people who liked my work and I got my sense of individualism back give or take. I recently changed accounts because this era in my life is brand new and I couldn't be happier with where I'm at.

This post is more so a form of being vulnerable and a bit of exposure therapy. Sure im not a perfect person, I can't even publicly out my abusers but I think it would do more harm than good. If anyone wants to have a warning for their accounts, at least on YouTube, message me on my Insta in my bio. I'm sorry if this was long and possibly upsetting but I wanted to just get this out. I dont know who would be seeing this but if you read this far: thank you, honestly its upsetting to have to go through so much bullshit and I hate talking about it because it's difficult to really put shit out there without feeling like its some tupe of attention thing. I don't want to post this for sympathy, I want to post this for me, just to feel better about where I'm at and also face my trauma head on to heal from it. I'm not saying this to compare who's life is worse or not but I am posting this to better myself.

Thank you again,

Spooky

[aleniksimmer]

Hello. I had no idea a week passed since my last post. I lost track of time and at this point I don’t even know when I made the shoulder plates, just some days ago I guess (nope, my memory isn’t going that well lately and I don’t know why, I think it’s a mixture of stress and meds).

Anyway, I think an update considering the global situation is necessary. As you may know (or not), I’m from that european country that’s basically red zone and “everyone stay at home”, actually in the second most hit region. Myself and my family are all well, and the whole stay at home situation isn’t that much of a stress for me since I only left when needed (university, grorcery etc..I lost contacts with all my friends for years so my only fun exits were the cinema alone 2-3 times per year..and please don’t feel bad, I’ve dealt with it for so long that’s the norm for me). In conclusion, for now I’m safe and if I lack updates it’s for my inability at time management and apparently temporary memory loss??. This said, lets talk about Miracle Queen.

I only have to make the shoes plates for the set to be completed (then, as usual, I have to add all the lods/versions, take pictures etc). The crown, shoulders, wrists you see have all alpha channels (as the fins in the aquasuit), but I’ll take the final previews with the solid versions (that’s why you see artifacts when they overlap in the view, that’s how the game manages transparency). Making the size of shoulders and wrists has been tricky due to the different proportions of the body (Chloé is very slim but also cartoonish, here we have an almost human proportion). I had to enlarge the shoulders plates to make them more visible and made them floating a little to avoid most of the clipping with bodymorph and shoulders rotation. For the wrists ones, I hade to enlarge them more than I would have liked because the black part kept clipping with slightly chubby bodymorph. Also, the gold trim in every piece isn’t consistent in size due to the low poly of the sim’s body and consequently the uv_1 that regulates bodymorph. That’s also why some black parts may curve with certain bodytypes. I did the best I can. At this point I don’t even know if it resembles Miracle Queen enough (idk, in the show she has this beautiful powerful deadly look to me, but here I just see a sim that’s not trying enogh, or maybe are just the poses I’ve used). Any suggestion would be great.

Btw, don’t know how bad the shoe piece is going to look cause I can’t make it float, and needs to follow the texture of the shoes and has an odd shape. Sorry in advance if it’s going to be a mess.

(I hope I’m not missing anything else in the set)

PS: I’ll check DMs tomorrow cause I’m tired right now, sorry again. 

[princessbethacup]

My one bad experience with polyamory

Storytime:

Ok, so I used to call myself a player and that's a whole seperate thing from polyamory. I used to sleep with whoever I wanted who wanted it back, did my best to make sure they knew that a relationship was so far off the table it's in a whole ass other room, and get on with my life. Met enough "women can't be players" and threw enough "fuck off"s right back at them. You can feel however you like about my having fun, but that's not polyamory.

I didn't exactly take polyamory lessons, but I consider myself a well adjusted, communicative, patient, understanding person -mind you, I have PTSD but it doesn't seem to affect my relationships, just my friendships so now I don't talk about my triggers with people because they just CAN'T RESIST. Like, don't think about kittens. Right now. Zero kittens. Don't think about them.

Aaaaanywayyyy, so, recently I dipped my toe in to polyamory and worked towards a relationship with someone who was already in a relationship and I kinda wanted to be a sort of peripheral relationship, not a primary. I thought, this guy's been around the block and been in poly relationships for at least three years, he'll know what he's doing and I can follow his lead. I try to be like 'hey, never done polyamory, will be following your lead' and he's like 'yeah, cool' and that's fine.

I start to worry because we've been meeting and flirting for a month and had sex once and I haven't had any clear indication on whether he's talked to his girlfriend about it and I'm starting to get worried and I don't know how to start a conversation because I've never done a "have you talked to your girlfriend" because outside of polyamory other people's boy/girl/themfriend is OUT OF BOUNDS so what do I do and how do I start.... Then I get a message from her saying how upset she is I didn't talk about it and not did he and now she needs to take a break from our friendship but no she's not angry at him...???!!! I don't know how to have a conversation with someone like btw I'm dating your boyfriend, I've slept with him. In my world until that point, that's just what BITCHES do. Knowingly sleep with your boyfriend and then gloat, right.

He initiated things, he was more experienced, and he was the one who was dating her. I had no idea how to start these conversations and was quite open with my friend group with kinda needing guidance and support when it came to 'how d'you talk to your poly spouse about the other guy/girl?' 'how d'you maintain a good friendship with someone who's boyfriend you're also dating' and largely I don't think these things are hard to learn, they just need coaching.

Now I'm more confident, and I'm gonna give fewer shits if I'm ever in this situation again. I'm gonna be like "hey, your boyfriend flirted with me today, I understand you're poly and I'm open to that, I've just been in the situation where I was a secret and I don't want to be one again, so imma give ya a heads up first".

Anyway, I talked to him about the message. I was trying to show this upset me and I didn't want my friend to be uncomfortable and upset, and that I was under the impression that he'd talk to her about us but he didn't. WHEN HE HEARD ABOUT HER BEING UPSET HE CHUCKLED.

I didn't really pursue anything and I didn't handle that well either so he was upset.

Takeaway?

Mistakes I made:

Not communicating well enough with him around PLEASE TELL YOUR GIRLFRIEND

Not sending her a quick message

Expecting more experienced poly person to help me through it

Not sending a clear message to him in feedback - we can't date, you don't respect your girlfriend enough so why would I date you? I threw myself in at the deep end but you had a fucking boat.

Lessons:

Honestly, this goes on the don't date older men list. I'll date older women, no problem. I've dated a lot of older men and they're just a load of adult babies.

COMMUNICATE and don't expect shit.

This was months ago and I've since fallen in love with a mono boy, hehe.

[jq37]

The Report Card -- Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 1

Sophomores and Spring Break 

Note: Hey guys! I decided to try something a little bit different and slightly more structured than my usual recaps for FH: Sophomore Year. I’m hoping this will be a little easier for me and a more useful tool for keeping up to date since there will be a lot more eps to keep track of and they’ll be easier to miss. Lemme know what you think and if you want raw, unfiltered opinions on anything specific, feel free to send me an ask. I’m always down to go off about literally whatever. 

We’re back, baby! It is Sophomore Year at Aguefort and the gang is on Spring Break. A lot is going down so lemme break it down. The Bad Kids, having defeated Kalvaxus last year, are all entitled to a share of his hoard and all the red tape is finally cleared so they all get 20k gold each (which is an insane amount of money converted to USD if you use the WOTC conversion rate of a gold coin being around $145 (circa 2006 when they answered the question)--which would be close to $330 with inflation). Jawbone and Sandra-Lynn are moving in after less than a year into a profoundly haunted house and it’s kind of a Full House situation because Adaine, Fig, Kristen, and Tracker all officially live there (plus it seems that Zayn has also anchored himself to Adaine’s tower--btw, Adaine took the tower that the haunted house obviously has) and you know all the other Bad Kids are gonna be there on the regular. 

More importantly, Aguefort gives the gang their big project for the year--finding the crown of the Nightmare King which was stolen at the end of last season--which is worth 60% of their grade (Adaine does a full Hermione at this information). Each of the gang has info about the NK but the trail has mostly gone cold. Luckily, Fabian just got a hot tip about where Falinel is keeping Aelwyn and she seems like a pretty good lead to start with since she was super tied up in the bad side of all the messiness of last year. Adaine is displeased to say the least. 

Going off to find the crown is super exciting story-wise for two reasons. First of all, it means the gang gets to hire, well, hirelings to help them and temporarily join the party! They ping basically every cool NPC they can think of (except for Tracker for some reason which is BONKERS because (1) she probably would have done it for free and cutting her in would still be keeping the money in the family, (2) she’s dope as hell, (3) she’s a cleric and the party can always use more healers, (4) she’s a werewolf so presumably she has skills that would help in the woods, and (5) they’re t r a c k i n g down a crown and the girl’s name is literally T R A C K E R, but I will not backseat D&D) and eventually end up with Ragh (who has been without an adventuring party all year, poor guy), Sandra-Lynn (swayed by a nat 20 rolled by Fig), Cathilda (!?) ,and, for some reason, Gilear (which Fabian is happy about, mainly for the opportunity to maybe bump him off on the way). Second of all, if you recall, Elmville is a pretty modern town but the rest of the continent is less fantasy high, more high fantasy. Horses and lanterns and all that pseudo-medieval goodness. They are gonna stick out like a sore thumb. I am very here for it. 

Everyone goes home to rest up but, after some ominous dreams, only four of them wake up. Riz and Fig are left asleep and then Brennan mic drops and ends the episode which is a power move and I am extremely upset about it but also, respect. Right for the jugular immediately. I heard Murph and Emily are on tour in the UK next week which probably has something to do with this but, in the moment, I did not know that and I really felt the hammer drop in my heart. It was wild. Cannot wait to see where we go from here. Plus, who doesn’t love watching characters freak out because their friends are in danger?

Random Thoughts

I have no idea what the title of this episode is or if it’ll even have one and not a number but I gave it a placeholder one for now. I also don’t have access to the stream yet so I didn’t get to include some info I wanted to (like a record of nat 20s, and nat 1s so I can track their stats for the school year) and I probably missed some stuff because my brain can only hold so much info guys. I’m not Brennan. 

I mentioned this yesterday during the stream, but there will never be anything better than the pure D&D joy of everyone, in character, talking over each other to clown on each other. They get the friend-group banter that’s a hair breadth’s away from bullying so true to life and it’s so fun to watch. On the flip side, the opening scene with everyone introducing themselves and affirmatively claiming each other as their best friends was also peak D&D. Found family= best trope. 

Fig and Adaine burn spell-slots at basically the same time to try and beat each other to the best room in the (Scooby-Doo ass) house--which is exactly the kind of thing that would happen in this world. It’s such an intuitive setting. I love it so much. (BTW, Fig ends up staying in the false space under the revolving grand piano because, of course).

Fabian and Gorgug went to recruit Ragh, who assumed they were propositioning him for a three-way. In his defense, they did do it in a super proposition-y way and they were in the middle of the LGBTQ student union.

Also, Gorgug gives Ragh an inspiring speech about thinking you’re your own dad which makes him burst into tears. 

Speaking of, Jawbone offhandedly says he’s poly but, like, based on some of the stuff he’s said, I feel like that’s not really a reveal. He also gets along well with Gorthalax and would be down w/ a three-way if Sandra-Lynn wanted to which, again, totally checks out. 

Arthur Aguefort uses Chronomancy to rewind time and catch a snide comment Adaine made under her breath, which is exactly the kind of frivolous use of God-like power I’d expect from him.  

I really love Adaine’s energy coming into this season. She’s in therapy. She’s in a good home environment. She’s comfortable enough with her friend group to do stuff like prank Fig (love that they’re gonna be living together now). And she’s good friends with Zayn now which I want to see more of based on their one interaction in this ep which was very cute. I am already on record as saying I would be down with her getting a ghost boyfriend--I mean, for the aesthetic alone--but I’d be happy with just more friendship. 

Fabian is also hilarious this season because you can tell he’s gone a bit soft from having friends and leaning into that (the friendship necklace with Riz) but also he’s fully aware that it’s happening so he’s, like, ping-ponging back and forth like, “These are my friends,” and, “What am I saying? I used to be cool,” and it’s very funny. Very happy the Aelwyn storyline is happening right out of the gate, both because I think Aelwyn is a very interesting character with a lot of potential for nuance but also because Fabian reacting to her and Adaine reacting to Fabian reacting to her is always gold. 

Prompted by an offhand conversation from Fig about rock and roll, Brennan--earning another feather for his Cap of God Tier DMing--goes on an impromptu five minute long improved diatribe about a bard who played such a good concert that it instantly impregnated everyone in attendance (dudes too) who gave birth to kids with sick rocker hair and denim jackets and ascended to Rock Heaven on their 18th Birthday. You truly have to watch it to believe it. At a certain point I thought he was gonna drop it but that was the moment he doubled down and kept going. Amazing. 

Watching Murph, in real time, make up a girl/boy/whateverfriend in Fantasy Canada was a gift. 

I don’t have access to the stream yet but best quote of the night that I can remember is Kristen choosing her room: This is triggering and I’ll take it. (Her line about her lesbian starter kit and the one about wanting a horse were also bangers). 

The group talks about what they’re going to do for transportation outside of Elmsville since they don’t really use cars out there and they somehow get from “disguise Fig’s tour bus” to “commission Aguefort to create a brand new animal that can hold six people plus hirelings, one of which is Fabian who is also riding his motorbike”.

I love that Sandra-Lynn’s Mom Powers work on Tracker. 

Basrar doesn’t accept the invitation to come with on the quest, but he does give Kristen a bag of infinite ice cream sandwiches, which is basically just as good, IMO. 

Oh Gilear. The man is sleeping in the Seacaster garage, being bullied by skater kids, and now he’s stuck on this quest with his ex and Fabian who actively wants him dead.  

Speaking of, I’m psyched to see more of Sandra-Lynn. She was kind of a sleeper badass at the end of last season. 

Ragh is keeping secrets which I hope the cast doesn’t forget because it could be nothing serious (like the high school drama happening with Skrank and the 7 maidens--maybe he’s just crushing on Gorgug who did full kiss him during Promocalypse) or it could be Serious Business that will blow up if the don’t stay on top of it. We’ll see. 

Oh, almost forgot. Adaine wants an emotional support frog. Every time I think I can’t love her more.   

Detention

Fig for Not Respecting Personal Boundaries

Fig goes full Emily right out the gate and, after finding out that Skrank (nerdy bird dude who apparently can get it) was not only dating Ostentasia (rich, popular dwarf) but also dumped her in pursuit of Danielle Barkstock (one of Ostentasia’s party members, the scandal), disguises herself as him with Danielle to figure out what’s going on. And, wouldn't you know it, when she gives herself away, Danielle immediately is shocked and appalled, as you would be, obviously. We also learn that she’s still catfishing Dr. Asha which is, how you say, for sure a crime. Fig, please, I’m begging you. Cease. 

Honor Roll

Fig, Riz, and Adaine for Researching the Nightmare King

Fig made both lists, look at that. Wasn’t my plan for this to be a three-way tie (also didn’t expect to use the word “three-way” this many times in this writeup) but I think their contributions were pretty much equally valuable. Rainsolo on the Discord wrote up this summary of the lore dump Brennan gave them.

[spop-vld-wtf]

Klance Fic Recs (pt. 3)

Another update because Klance and its writers fill my heart.

Laughter Lines

Rated Mature, Swearing, Non-descriptive NSFW

Single Parent/ Modern AU

Unfinished

Once a homeless teenager, Keith is now a young, successful businessman who owns the most popular new gym in the state. Lance is a surrogate, single dad to his young siblings, and is doing his best to make ends meet. Neither has the time or desire to fall in love. Doesn’t stop it from happening, unfortunately.

*

“Surprisingly, no one wants to go out with the 23 year old dude with three kids under four and no time or money to treat them to fancy dates.”

“I do.”

My Notes: Ok, so this is a really good fic. Keith’s social awkwardness was just really relatable, and the kids were just. Very kid-like? Yeah. In most fics, kids are just shoved in and they’re all perfect and stuff, but this fic got it right. Kids can be cute, but also have tantrums and pull your hair and shit. Also, them caring for each other, even though Keith messes up so much, was great.

Golden Opportunities

Rated General Audiences, Sexual Innuendos

Group Chat/Modern AU

20 Chapters (70,802 words)

Pidgeot: So you know how my brother’s girlfriend is loaded?

Pidgeot: well she’s taking Matt and their boyfriend to Europe for a few months. Matt asked if he could bring me and you guys so,,,,,,

Pidgeot: Do you wanna go to Europe with me, my brother, Shiro, Allura, and Shiro’s brother?

There are so many times in life when things don't live up to your expectations. This trip? So much better than expected. Sights will be seen, love will be found, friends will be made. And they'll have a little fun while they're at it. But really, what's a better way to meet your soulmate than being stuck with them while traveling the world?

My Notes: This is another group chat fic, and at times it can get kinda crack-y, but in this fic, the humor is done really well. The Klance plot was just perfect, and I think that the fake-dating thing is so something they would do. Also, Shiro, Matt, and Allura’s relationship was poly goals.

time out of mind

Rated Teen and Up Audiences, Swearing, Sexual Innuendos

Time Travel/Future Husband AU

2 Chapters (27,849 Words)

Keith and Lance wake up married. In the future.

He lays there a moment, processing the faint throbbing in his head, a strange bitter taste like lemons in his mouth. When he opens his eyes, the room spins wildly into a kaleidoscope of colors, so he closes them again, breathing in and out until he feels less like he might throw up. He suddenly registers a warm weight over his waist, and lifts his head to see a brown arm thrown over him. It looks startlingly familiar, but different, bigger than he remembers, more toned.

Keith turns all the way around and comes face to face with Lance sleepily blinking his own eyes open.

My Notes: Holy shit guys. I read this in 1 1/2 hours and it is just perfect. The writing style is brilliant, everyone is totally in character, and I fell on the floor laughing many times. The use of time travel was really interesting and the ending was everything. I really highly recommend this.

Video Killed The Radio Star

Rated Teen and Up Audiences, Swearing

Modern/Single Parent AU

11 Chapters (69468 words)

"Yeah I... I didn't know I had a sister," said Keith. "Until she died last month. And now I... now I'm, um, I-I'm like a single parent to my nieces."

He took a huge breath to steady himself, waaay to worked up to be on live radio.

"And I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

- In which Keith is the guy who suddenly finds himself a single-parent to his two nieces, and Lance is the charming radio host who might be the only voice of reason in this mess

My Notes: I couldn’t put my laptop down while reading this. The emotions were super raw and beautifully explained, the adashi was god tier, and Allura was just perfect (as usual). The oc’s (Judy and Yumi) were really fun, and Judy was really well layed out and three dimensional. There were parts that made me want to genuinly cry, but the pacing and comedic timing made sure that I was always laughing. And the epilogue was so fluffy and cheesy and heartfelt. I loved this fic, a lot.

Read All About It

Rated Teen and Up Audiences, Swearing

Highschool/Modern AU

Unfinished

Keith is Altea High’s star athlete. And Lance, a wily reporter for the school newspaper, is crushing hard. The only problem? They’ve never actually met before. So when Lance decides to broadcast his long-hidden feelings in an explicitly romantic exposé, he ends up accidentally sparking a school-wide epidemic. Suddenly the entire student body is in on the drama, but are words truly enough to win over the school’s enigmatic heartthrob? [High school AU. Klance.] 

My Notes: As I’m writing this, only up to chapter 5 is posted, but this fic is really good so far! The plot is really interesting and I love that Lance is ditzy, but still really intelligent. A lot of people skip over that part of his personality :/. I think withholding Keith’s backstory was a good decision and the talks between Keith and Lance are intriguing. One of my favorite parts of this fic is that a lot of people have made beautiful fanart that goes perfectly with the great story that Read All About It is.

Take Note

Rated Teen and Up Audiences

High school/Modern AU

1 Chapter (13,620 words)

Lance has two notes for two people.

He really should have labeled them.

My Notes: First things first, Allura is best girl. (I mean, she always is, but especially here.) She’s super fun and supportive and I love her! But, to on Lance. Oh my goodness. He is so dense and poor Keith’s gotta deal with it. RIP Keith. I really liked the ending, it was really pure and cute. 

(BTW, the author of this fic, VulpesVulpes713, is also on Tumblr and contributing a lot of great stuff to the fandom as @vulpes--vulpes. You should really check them out!)

hostage

Rated Teen and Up Audiences, mild violence

Cop Au (!!!!)

1 Chapter (3795 words)

“You’re such an ass.”

Lance stares at him, dumbfounded. “Huh?”

“You’re not allowed to say that unless I can say it back,” Keith snaps.

“What—” Lance blinks. Then he realizes just what Keith is talking about and he falters, letting out a long, slow breath. “Oh,” he says softly.

“Yeah,” Keith responds sharply, but his voice wavers and he huffs. “Oh.”

My Notes: I’ve been waiting for a cop au since Voltron began, and this is all I ever could’ve hoped for! Badass Lance + protective Keith is something I definitely need more of in my life, and I loved how Lance kept his snark and sass even in the tensest situations. This was wonderful (and I need more!).

( hostage’s author @thespacenico is also on Tumblr with a lot more beautiful writing. Go check her out!)

[welcome-to-the-petting-zoo]

Answer to Anon about polyamory, PART 2/3

Anon asked:  “ Hi! This is the anon who recently asked about coming out to my girlfriend as polyamorus. It went poorly. She threw a fit and now I'm not allowed to be around one of my closest friends. She told me she was polyamorus too and she had a crush on someone else and when I asked the same of her that she did of me and she guilt tripped me abour the fact that they live closer to her than I do and how I'm always busy. Is this fair? “ Dear Anon,

TP here. 

I’m sorry to hear it went so poorly with the coming out. First and foremost, let me give you the short answer: no, it is not fair, and from the way you ask, I kinda gather you know that.

Now, for a longer, maybe a bit more nuanced answer... Even though on the surface this seems very bad, I think this is actually a fine starting ground. Unfortunately, I find it’s always harder to open up a monogamous relationship than it is to start out open to begin with. That being said, it’s not impossible, and I’ll try to highlight some options for you, or areas I find important to work on between you and your partner.

First off, while I assure you, I’m 100% with you on the pain and unfairness of the situation, I’m not the best when it comes to emotional support, and my autistic brain goes, “if you want to help Anon, you’ll have to look at this cold-headedly, from a logical point of view”,and that’s exactly what I’m going to aim for in my explanation. (Sidebar: I’m a die-hard crime fan and recently I’ve been non-stop listening to true crime podcasts, so if I sound like an investigative reporter, that might be why, sorry ^~^”)

There are several questions that occurred to me when I was reading your ask. 

1, Why did she throw a fit? What upset her? Why did she find it the best way to react aggressively?

2, Why are you not allowed to be around your friend? Are you still allowed to talk to them online? What about on the phone? Is it only physical meetings or also facetime, etc.?

3, She told you she was poly too. (btw, THIS IS HUGE!!) Why did you only learn about this now? What are her feelings about polyamory? If she is poly too, AND she also has another love interest, why is she so against opening up your relationship?

4, She’s complaining about you being busy all the time. Once again, WHY does she not want to engage in a poly lifestyle and pursue her love interest, if she feels like she needs more attention/affection/time than what you are capable of giving? 

5, Does it HAVE TO be fair?/What IS fair?

This is going to be a humongous answer, but please bear with me, because at the end we might arrive at some interesting (and hopefully helpful) conclusions. I’ll try to stay objective, but at certain points I’ll have to enter the realm of wild speculations, and if you find that my reasoning is flawed due to me not knowing you, your partner, the reality of your situation, etc., please get back to me with corrections so we can work further on the solution in the light of the new information.

1, In the whole story, her reaction and her motivation is what baffles me the most. I feel like if I can crack that, if I can come to understand what’s happening in her head, that will directly lead to the solution of the whole drama, but since I know virtually nothing of her, these are questions you are more likely to be able to answer than I am, and I’ll have to rely on my model of the Generic Human Being to try to come closer to a possible solution.

The first logical answer that comes to mind is jealousy. People treat jealousy like it’s an emotion, and give it way too much validity in my opinion. Jealousy is not an emotion, it’s not something you can’t change, it’s not a given and it’s not the end of the line. Jealousy is a reaction to something, and that something is usually the feeling of someone else having something you also want, but you don’t have. My best bet would be, she heard about your emotions towards someone else, and she immediately felt threatened, so she became defensive and lashed out.

Think about it. In her head, the situation might look like something like this:  My partner tells me they have feelings for someone else. What happened? Am I not enough? Did I do something wrong? Do they no longer love me? Am I going to be replaced? What does this other person have on me? How are they better? Why does my partner want them instead of me? Sure, they tell me they still love me and want to be with me, but what if that stops being true the moment they get to be with that other person? What if they’ll find that the other person is a way better partner/better in bed/younger/older/prettier/smarter/more successful/whatever-the-fuck-I’m-insecure-about than I am? 

This is a brutally scary situation, especially because these are fears we don’t like to address, they are uncomfortable, shameful, deeply private, and most of the time we know deep down that they are silly. It also depends on the level of self-awareness a person possesses how much in touch with these fears they are, and how much they are willing to engage and work with them. But in any case, facing and overcoming these fears is a lengthy process, and it’s definitely not going to happen in a conversation where you just punched the beehive of your partner’s insecurities.

In other words, this is one of the main focus areas you two need to address and work with, because if you can untangle her emotional mess and get to the bottom of the jealousy question, you’ll find what the exact nature of her fear is and you might be able to put those fears to rest, once and for all. This will also be a journey that strengthens the bond between you and when you emerge victoriously on the other side, she’ll likely have a new level of openness and trust towards you, which also makes it more likely that you can live in a healthy poly relationship.

2, Now, let’s look at the situation with you and your friend. Do I assume it correctly that this friend is also your potential love interest? This seems to be the most logical assumption, so I’ll continue answering as if this was the case. 

I’m asking about the conditions of you not being allowed to be around her, because it tells me a lot about the nature of your girlfriend's fear. For example. If she’s okay with you having phone or Skype conversations, exchange texts or direct messages, but you’re not allowed to hang out in person, that means the focus of her worry is likely sex. She might find sex an important bonding experience between people, and she might be worried that if you spend unsuperwised time together, you’ll end up cheating on her. 

I wonder if she knows this person. It would be logical that she does, because they are one of your closest friends, so chances are you’ve been hanging out together at some point, so it’s interesting to look at whether she’d be okay continuing hanging out where she is also present. If she isn’t, that kinda changes the equation a bit, or at least points to the fact that she built up some (potentially misplaced) resentment towards them, and that also says something about the nature or at least the depth of her insecurity. 

PART 3 coming soon ~TP Part 1  here

[dontcallmekoda]

Depression is stupid

So I’m gonna start by saying i literally made a new account because I have friends on my old one (which i haven't posted on in years btw) that i don’t really want to see this.

Well lets get into it

I was diagnosed, while in the military, with chronic depression.  I’ve gone through counseling, tried natural supplements, and even been on medication but everything only seems to work temporarily.  No matter what i seem to do it always comes back. Counseling was my favorite of the three because with the other 2 it felt like i was corking the problem and not attempting to resolve it.  Now i haven’t been to a counselor in a few years as I’ve been able to keep it at bay with good habits (eating better, getting adequate sleep, taking time for socializing, etc.) however I knew I’d still need to deal with it I’m just doing my best to minimize it.  With that being said I’m noticing the patterns of it coming on again and that scares me because depression has made me do some stupid things in the past and I do not want to ruin where i have got myself to.  I have a good job, a nice truck, a good relationship with both my parents (which was not always the case) and frankly i found myself truly happy with how far i have come but i want to continue moving forward which is why i made this account to vent about the stupid things I’m doing as to not let them fester in my mind overthinking them dozens of times.

So one of my first signs actually has to do with my interactions with the opposite sex.  I’ve never been any kind of womanizer or fuck boy for that matter but when i start to notice a decline the first thing i start to want is an orgasm. Although,when you are Poly and single that can be pretty hard to obtain, also add in the fact that I’m not really a charmer and I’ve always been the weirdo of the group and that leads to me having only really ever had 2 sexual relationships.  Now wanting to have an orgasm i feel is pretty natural the dopamine helps stabilize to keep you from feeling so down you cant do anything so i usually end up masturbating but that can tend to be like eating bread when you want a sandwich.  Anyways I still usually try and find someone to hookup with or start a relationship with at this time which is hard because a hookup would have to be a friend or someone i already have some sort of connection with and i believe that has lead to quite a few female acquaintances distancing themselves because of the way i acted and i always seem to regret that when i get my head back on straight.  A relationship however isn’t better because I’m usually rushing past all the red flags and putting myself into a shitty situation in which i end up hurting the other person due to my lack of perception in the early part of the relationship.  Even though this process normally starts because of my problems i always end up blaming myself and making my condition worse because of my urges and it honestly saddens me that there are many awesome people who will probably only remember me as a fuck boy that tried to get into their pants at one point.

Now obviously there are two threads from here the one where i was with someone and the one where i was by myself.  I’d like to dive into the relationship thread first as that has never worked out the way i hoped (see Single above) now i have gone through my lows in both romantic relationships and each had a different outcome due to having different partners so ill go through each individually.  My first was definitely my first love we spent so much time together that we basically lived together at least 18 months of our 2 years together.  She was with me through basic and it was after basic that my depression really hit me hard (uncorked my medication while in service and i was basically told i wasnt good enough for military even though i had perfect scores through basic) and she stayed and helped me through that.  We stayed together for almost a full year after basic until i was fired from not 1 but 2 jobs.  The firings killed my confidence and i was so low that i didn’t want to drag my love down with me and distanced myself.  One thing led to another and eventually she left me for someone else who she is still happy with today.  Now on to relationship number 2 and this one was a little different as it started with me already in a depression.  It had been 5 years since me and my previous girlfriend had broken up and i was pretty down.  I lived with 2 actors who could bring girls in just about whenever they wanted and that led me to compare myself to them can be pretty degrading when they start talking numbers and while theirs are in the 20s and 30s and you have to sit back like well at least I’m not a virgin.  Enter my second girlfriend who was very obviously into me and i jumped into it like a recovering junkie.  It took me about 2 weeks to establish a connection with her and then when i was comfortable and able we did the deed and i started to feel better about myself little by little as my confidence grew so did my performance at work and thus came raises and i was able to buy my new-ish truck and cross that off my bucket list.  With everything that was going on i fell in love with this girl not for who she was but who she had helped me become and now that i look back that feels very selfish of me.  It then became my goal to help her in whatever way i could as she had anxiety that affected her very harshly.  I did everything i could but started to feel overbearing and like help wasn’t what she wanted.  After time all the red flags that had been there since the beginning started choking me like a bad scarf of my own design.  She started turning on me for helping her and when i decided to leave she threatened to kill herself for it.  Seeing how toxic the relationship had become i left but i feel like if i had been more coherent in the beginning i wouldn’t have hurt her as bad.

Now on to the second thread of being single.  The ebb and flow is pretty common as the vast majority of the time i have been single.  We’ll start this thread from after i have already hit the depression and then move to the effects (note: many of these symptoms i go through in relationship too its just how i handled them that changes).  I begin by spending less time following my good habits usually my personal care declines (stop showering everyday, don’t get enough sleep, eat like crap, etc.) then it starts affecting my job, i make little mistakes which i get harder and harder on myself about the gremlin in my head (who doesn’t pay rent) starts telling me how worthless i am and how i can never live up to anyone standards even my own and whatnot. Next i begin to distance myself from friends and family feeling like i’m a burden and that people are faking how they feel about me.  I then lose the ability to focus on just about anything even worse than normal (adhd too yay).  Finally, i begin to lash out at anyone who kept close and usually end up quitting my job and getting stuck like this for months.  In the past this has led to me losing the ability to work many places in my city,  tarnishing relationships especially those of my parents in the past, weight gain, less self confidence than when i started, and eventually me somehow getting out of the hole usually through a new job or friendship or something else random.  The results of these has led to me having 13 jobs in the last 7 years and i have probably chased off more friends than some people have had.

Anyways this has been my rant on why depression is stupid.  I would like to say i did not come here and write this looking for help I came to vent my frustrations of my own chemical imbalance.  To anyone who has decided to take the time to read this feel free to send me any questions as i enjoy talking about my struggle if it helps someone else all in all that is the one thing that has always made me feel better is when i can be a light for one persons darkness and so i ask if you are also in a dark place reach out because it cant help the person helping you just as much...if that makes sense

[wishing-it-was-better]

Getting over the double betrayal

Oh goodness. So, I'm back to using this as a vent as No one really follows my tumbler. Thankfully.

First of all, facts.

My husband has been diagnosed with BPD. A huge portion of that is he makes connections with others extremely easily, and if we aren't intimate every night he starts to feel like I don't love him, and abandoned.

In the beginning of our marriage communication was shit. We had been together on and off for 6.5 years, and never quite learned how to talk things out. So when we were having issues he'd talk to his friends about them. Ok, no biggie. I understood. I had a miscarriage and started to pull away from sex.

Well, a year into our marriage a friend introduced us to this fun chat app (can't remember the name) and we joined a few chat groups. Made friends, etc.

Well, one morning I woke up and was looking in one of our mutual groups and I had noticed he was flirting with another member. Now, I don't mind flirting as long as it stays that. Just flirting. But something bugged me. So I grabbed his phone (He was still out) and I went through. It was one person, but he had started a sexual rp with them. I was devastated. So I got ready for work, his phone in my hand, and when I was ready I threw it at him, told him he was busted, and left to go to work. On my way to the car I called my Best friend Darcie. I was balling, asking why. Why would he. She was very supportive and caring.

I kinda rugswept it. We talked, he deleted the app, handed it over whenever I asked. It felt like things were getting better.

Hubby was unable to hold a job for long because of his BPD. So I supported him a majority of the time. I didn't mind it. I felt good knowing I was taking care of him financially and that he was there for me when I needed support. Well, it bothered him so he started looking for some game developer/writing work via discord. He made friends, introduced me to some, and let me look whenever I wanted. Well, I eventually I no longer felt the need to be so obsessive. This would be about the beginning of 2017

Dumb me.

We have a group of friends who live an hour away. They came and grabbed him for a few nights of guy time. I was chill. These are all friends who have been there since high school (at this time over 8 years).

I went to play games on his computer and there is some unread messages from another game developer. I had spoken with this other guy, and knew my husband occasionally helped with some pixel art, or game code, so I clicked.

They had been sexting (Pics included this time) for over a month. I flipped. Seriously. I called him, and yelled and screamed and told him to stay away for a bit so I could figure out what I wanted to do.

That's when the doubts started kicking in. It was another guy. Did he regret marrying a female? Was I not good enough?

I spoke to some family. One aunt said that experimentation is normal and I should let it go. I called hubbys mom, and she was pissed. She kept saying she didn't raise him that way. Called Darcie again, and she was supportive and tried to mediate things.

Well, once again I let him come home. At this point we had been married almost 2 years, and been together for 9. I didnt want to fail at keeping him happy, and saving my marriage, you know?

Communication started to get better, we talked more. He discussed issues more, and I expressed my stress more. I have sciatica and ptsd, and my health started to get worse so I went to part time. It was hard financially, but I felt better.

Then he became suicidal. That summer was spent missing work to get him to the doctor, he was on watch, etc. It was hell for both of us. I started to get warnings from work about my attendance. He was officially diagnosed with BPD, depression, and anxiety. So I was learning how to deal with everything on his side.

Then I broke in September. I had been diagnosed with PCOS which destroyed me because having a child is someyhing I yearn for. I started having extreme anxiety. I would pull to the side when driving because of panic. It continued to get so bad I went to the ER.

It was the compilation of everything. The infidelity, work, my diagnoses, his BPD, everything. I ended up being diagnosed with Panic disorder, anxiety, ptsd, and depression.

October was the official beginning of my medical leave by my doctor. HR was calling constantly and harassing me. It got to the point where I was frequently suicidal. I have never been ashamed of it. I would tell someone how I felt because I felt if I didn't, and I was alone I would kill myself.

Well. We were figuring out meds for both of us, and our communication was shot. January I finally quit work because I was having panic attacks every time I left the house.

Come February. We have a friend over, hubby is half asleep, and my anxiety is off the rails. So I try to calm myself down and ask to see his phone. He hands it over, no questions asked.

All his messages to Darcie are deleted. Best friend Darcie. Darcie who officiated our wedding. He fessed up and expressed about a month ago they sexted. He expressed he was feeling lonely, and abandoned. I confronted her. She claimed I was abusive. I told her she was lucky I was handling things well enough to not kill myself. (Totes regret that btw) She blocked me. I outed them to everyone. Friends, family, everyone. I was so angry.

March was hard, instead of trying to work things out he kept leaving. I was having panic attacks, our friends were getting tired of our shit. I had a doctora appointment where i was also diagnosed as Bipolar. On the day I come hoke with that news he leaves for his friends saying he needs to think. Fucking great support there. He planned to be gone the end of March beginning of April. I said ok, as long as you are here for Easter, and our wedding anniversary. He agreed.

We talked a lot. A LOT. I explained what he made me feel like when he cheated. How he stole my best friend from me. He expressed how he felt like a butler and i was never there for him. I reminded him that the agreement was if he wasnt working he would take care of the house while i was at work. I also tried to express why I pulled away from sex.

Well he needed more time so he didn't come home for Easter. I missed my grandmother's birthday because of the panic and anxiety and everything else. I was on bad terms with my mom, so she had no clue about anything going on for the last 3 years. My sister's were giving me shit for always canceling, and I finally told everyone to fuck off. Well, it's April 4th. Our wedding anniversary.

Instead of coming home he is trying to convince me that we should just Move in with Darcie and her husband (They are poly, and her husband was totally ok with her doing what she did) so he can have sex whenever he wants. After all her sex drive must be amazing. And he went on and on.

I made plans to kill myself that night. I was about to carry them out when I realized I didn't have anyone to care for my cat. She's my baby. So I called a friend, explained I was going out of town. She said sure, but she was going to take me to dinner. And I couldn't do it. So instead I went to the ER. Was admitted to a psych ward for 7 days.

Husband came home once he found out. Apologized up and down. Said he had said those things to hurt me because he was in a spiral himself.

Well. Things are better. Much better. I have learned I deserve to be happy. I deserve to smile. I deserve to not have to worry about his fidelity.

He is seeking counseling, so am I. Once we have a few sessions it's on to Marriage counseling. He has promised to let me know if Dacie ever tries to contact him.

I found out the other month that she believed I was saying I was suicidal to keep him. Bitch, I wasnt faking. Fuck off. She actually unblocked me via Facebook and it caused a panic attack. Ended up blocking her instead. Muahaha.

Anyway. People tell me it's not worth it.

I think 10 years is at least worth trying. We are at the lowest of our low right now. I will do my best to bring myself up, and him along with me. If it happens again after all of this, I can agree it won't be worth it. But he know he needs to up his game and has been.

He's doing great in researching his BPD, separating himself from potential situations, talking when things bother him, and he comes to me when he wants to talk about things that bother him. It's hard, but it's working. He's reading up on how to help me heal, and understands that I won't be over this for years.

I will never forgive her though. Ever.

[franeridart]

I absolutely adore every single KiriBaku thing you draw. They’re so pure and I love them.

;O; !!!!! thank you holy heck!!!!!

Anon said:Fran i missed your hq fanart, it was so good seeing some more from you!

I’m happy you liked them!!!! I missed drawing them too, really !!!!

Anon said:Imagine this - BNHA kids like It kids. Also love your art!

But I haven’t watched It :O and thank you!!!

Anon said: Is it ok if fictionkin people reblog your art and tag it as kin or anything of the sort?

Sure! People are gonna do so anyway whatever I say after all, and this seems like a really silly thing to get bothered over since it’s not like it hurts me in any way haha

Anon said:Who dabs more, Denki or Mina?

If I gotta pick one I’d say Kaminari, but I sure as heck hope dabbing isn’t still a thing in whatever future bnha is set in, anon hahaha

Anon said:yo i love it when you color your sketches, so pretty!!

OH BOY thank you so so much!!!!! :O

Anon said:I love you and your art so much?? like??? you’re so perfect?? just keep doing what you’re doing because you’re doing fucking amazing

I’m the furthest thing from perfect you’re gonna find, anon haha but thank you so much for the compliment!!

Anon said:thank you for always making me smile.

And thank you cause this ask made me smile, anon!!

Anon said:your coloring skills are improving!!! gosh your art is visibly getting better lately (not that it’s even been “bad”, there’s no such thing!! i’ve always loved it). i don’t know if it’s a good idea to tell you this but i mean it as a genuine compliment!

Are they really??? °O° I wouldn’t have said so, honestly haha but I’m super happy to hear that, thank you!!

Anon said:Are any of your OCs romantically involved? Or are they all just good friends?

Yes and no, depending on at which point in their respective story we’re talking about haha Josh and Chris are in love with each other, and so are Max and Leo (well, their situation is a bit… uncommon, but if I were ever to write their story they’d be together in the end) - I once posted about Gabe and Hector, and by the end of their story they’re in a poly relationship with a girl named Erica I’ve never posted about. Luca has a love (?) interest of sort but he’s not been posted about yet hohoho maybe sometime in the near future. Still deciding about Isa and Ana’s relationship, but maybe. Who knows? That’s about it as far as the ones I’ve posted about go :D

Anon said:your ocs are adorable!! esp ana, I want to know EVERYTHING ABOUT HER (and, yeah, having new ocs is super exciting, like you said! just– being able to figure all that stuff out, actually mould a character of your own– it’s a lot of fun!!!)

Anon said: What are Ana and Isa like? From that drawing, I already think I would want to be friends with Isa! She looks like lots of fun!

She is!! She’s sort of a jock, a bit of a dummy and really loud, she’s easy to make laugh and got the type of laughter that makes you wanna laugh with her so when she’s around the mood is always a good one! She’s not exactly a social butterfly, but she’s got no problems with socializing, knows by instinct how to bend her behaviour to fit with all types of people and has the incredible ability to have every and all awkward situations fly right over her head, she just doesn’t notice them, and that makes it hard to be anything but relaxed when she’s around. She’s actually how she and Ana got in the group, since she’s gym buddies with Leo! She also really really likes ball sports :D

Ana’s an introvert all the way through, on the other hand - she’s really witty and sassy when she feels comfortable enough, and sarcasm is her preferred way of communicating, but if she doesn’t know you/ too many people she isn’t 100% comfortable with are around she comes off as timid and closed off, smiles politely and barely utters a word - people assume she’s the subdued and shy type at first so once she starts opening up it’s always sort of a shock haha she’s got a scientific mind and while she isn’t a “gifted kid” like Chris she likes to learn and study a lot, which is why she ended up having a real great relationship with Chris specifically out of everyone in the group (they like to nerd out together) (Josh isn’t particularly happy about it, the jelly idiot) 

Anon said: I love seeing you drawing and getting asks about your OCs. They have so much personality and it makes me super happy. I hope you’ll feel like sharing them with us more often!

Thank you so much!!!! I’m really really happy people seem to like them too!!!! :O

Anon said:you draw the children so long i love it :0

!!!!! :D thank you!!!

Anon said:Did you now that the voice actor of Tenya is also the one of Kageyama ? (I start Haikyuu because of you by the way, thanks for this and for all your great art !)

I did know!!! There’s a lot of hq va’s in bnha, that’s always made me happy haha

Anon said:Love the new Haikyuu art! Although it’s sad that someone made you lose motivation to draw BNHA :/ Daishou is one of my faves, too. He’s such a doof, love it.

OH BOY I love Daishou so much, I’m glad you like him too! Aside from how much fun he is to draw (and color! he’s a green haired boy and that matters lots to me haha) he’s got so much personality and he’s such an interesting character! I honest to god disliked him with a passion during the nekohebi game, actually haha but that’s how it is with most of my hq faves, after all hahaha glad you liked the doodles, by the way!!!

Anon said:DOGS? SHOUTS? LUCA IS MY KINDA GUY

THANK YOU FOR LIKING MY ANGRY SON !!!!!! :D

Anon said:I love Luca! Where did he get his scar?

A fight with some punks back when he was a teen that ended up escalating when knives became a thing that was being used :O he comes off as the dangerous sorta type which makes good people steer clear and bad ones come looking for trouble/ pick fights with him cause they assume he was picking a fight cause of his resting bitch face. Well, he’s an ass so let’s say that at least half the times he had been picking fights, and it’s not like he runs when someone tries to fight him anyway… that’s not the only scar he has, it’s just the most visible one haha

Anon said:I’m kinda freaking out about Luca and the others being italians! It makes me love your OCs even more ahah Btw, don’t know if you’ve already answered this or if it’s too personal but… are you Italian? (Or what nationality?)

Yah I am! :D and I’m super happy to hear you like my kids!!!!!

Anon said:Hello! I just wanted to let you know that you inspire me a lot! Your blog is honestly such a happy, fun place to be. You draw so much stuff, so much cute and sweet stuff regularly and I aspire to be like that! I’m extremely slow at drawing, and I lose motivation or get distracted from drawing easily, but I’m hoping for a day when I can make a blog just like yours; a place where I can regularly draw things that make me happy. I hope you have a wonderful day!

I’m!!!! so happy to hear that!!!!! And yeah I 100% understand the being slow and getting discouraged easily, I used to be (and sort of still am) like that too :O my need to be faster is what had me end up with the style I have now, actually haha I hope you’ll find a comfortable style that’ll let you be as fast as you wish soon too, anon!!!

Anon said:I don’t think you understand how much it means to me that you drew an asahi! He’s my fave and he looks precious and pretty in your style! Thank you for this gift :’)

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m glad you liked him, then!!!!!!! *O* thank you!!!!!

Anon said:Thank you for drawing Noya! Im sorry it was sort of cause of a shitty anon, I also really enjoy your bnha drawings so im not trying to be all “waaaah go back to hq”, but im happy to see my lightning son and also find out hes in your favs? Yay!

YAH HE’S THE BEST ISN’T HE he’s been one of my top 5s since he first appeared, he’s such a good I’m glad you liked him!!!!!!!!

Anon said:FRAN YOUR NEW HQ ART IM IN LOVE!!!!!! YOU DRAW DAISHOU LIKE A LITERAL SNAKE HES SO SMUG ITS SO GOOD!! AND YOUR OCS!! I WOULD HONESTLY READ A BOOK ABOUT THEM. OR A WEB COMIC. BOTH ARE GOOD. SORRY ABOUT THE CAPS IM JUST EXCITED BC HQ!!!! AND AWESOME OCS!!!! (can you tell that i have a weakness for other people’s ocs, esp when done well) (which you certainly have)

THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS OH GODS !!!!!!!!!!!! Especially about my ocs, that makes me so happy oh boy ;O; !!! And and and I’m super happy you liked Dai! He’s honestly so much fun to draw, for me hahaha

Anon said:I’m sorry that people are being assholes, sending good vibes! I love all your art, I hope you have a good day

This to you and everyone else who’s sent the same type of ask, thank you SO much! You guys are all so incredibly nice and supportive, bless all of you ;O;

Anon said:Dave!!! :D

Dave indeed!!!!!! :D :D

Anon said:your art is Good

Thank You !!!!!!!!

Anon said:omg i love your ocs so much

SOB thank you?????

Anon said:I love how the collar on Kiri’s coat in the ‘Them boys’ post is reminiscent of his pauldrons

……………………………………………….. that was totally on purpose. Yep. Definitely. Hmhm.

Anon said:Anon from before showed me your stuff today and just wanted to say wow I love your stuff what even your art is so good I fuckin love kiribaku and oh my god I swear I must have gone through your whole kiribaku tag and I’m gone your art just made my day

GOSH I’m glad you liked them???? thank you for such a nice message aaahhhh !!!!!!

Anon said:Im cry omg i just realized ur url is franeridart fjhfhf this whole time i thought it was friend art bddnjx

You’re the second person that tells me that in the span of just a couple of days omfg hahahaha it’s cool tho, I wish that was actually the url, it’d have been such a soft one haha

Anon said:hi Kaminari can skateboard he has a skateboard in his room

Kaminari in his room also has a dart board, a basketball and a dj console, and that’s only the stuff whe can see so actually, considering in his likes there’s “cool things” I think he’s the type of boy that tries to pursue any hobbie he might think would make him look cool, so either he has no clue how to use any of the cool things in his room above a vaguely amatorial level or he’s still pursuing all of those interests! Which would actually be super cool! Incidentally this is my preferred headcanon too so, yeah, as far as I’m concerned he knows how to skate. And play basketball. And darts. And also how to dj. He’s a cool kid haha

Anon said:Bless you and your super cute kiribaku ^_^

Bless you for the super sweet message, anon!!!! ;O;

Anon said:THAT JIROU IS SO TINY AND ADORABLE I’M DYING LOOK AT HER SIDE BY SIDE WITH KAMINARI AND BAKUGOU OH MY GOD

Hahahaha I might have actually accentuated that a bit, but she’s about 20cm shorter than the both of them and in a chibi style that’s hard to keep accurate hahahaha but yeah I love my pocket sized girl she’s the best

Anon said:Im so fucking happy because youve been posting (almost?) daily for a few days now

That was my own poor attempt at something similar to inktober, actually! I’ve had a few days through the month I wasn’t at home at all so I couldn’t draw all 31 days, but I think I got close? Maybe? I’m glad you enjoyed it, tho!!

Anon said:you deserve all the love in the world

I’m f sobbing so do you, friend ;u;

Anon said:do you like as*noya?? or, which are your main pairings for asahi and noya :)

I do ship as*noya, but I prefer Asahi with Daichi and Suga (ot3) or with Kiyoko, actually :O while my fav Noya ship is with Tanaka~

Anon said:I have recently fallen totally in love with kiribaku as a ship, and your art is always my favorite to see in the tags. Thanks for drawing those two nerds, and I hope you have a good rest of your day!

Thank you!!!!! This fandom is super full of incredibly talented people, I hope you’ll enjoy it here hahaha

Anon said: I first found your blog searching the Bokuroo tag.I was very happy because it was one of my all time OTPs,but they didnt have much content.Then there you came,with amazing art.Time passed and you watched BNHA.I was absolutely captivated by BakuShima and then I checked your blog and it had BakuShima!!I told myself “this person cant get any cooler”.But today i found out about TetsuKami and I checked their tag and yoU ALREADY MADE FANART OF THEM!!Officially ,you are the coolest person on Tumblr tbh

We seem to have really really similar tastes in ships, anon!!!! that’s so great omfg !!!!!!! :O and I’m super happy you like my stuff still afer all this time hahaha

Anon said:Could I draw some fan art of your ocs?

Oh my god yeah!!!!! please do link me to it if you do!!!!!

Anon said:BLESS YOUR BEAUTIFUL SOUL FOR MAKING SUCH AMAZING ART

BLESS YOU FOR BEING SO KIND, ANON!!!!!!

[elfyourmother]

real talk how many times do I have to speak truth that no one listens to before I get to change my name to Cassandra? (the cursed prophet, not the Pentaghast) my bffs marriage basically imploded bc they tried to open it up bc she fell for this mutual friend while being the last ppl on earth who need to be doing polyamory when they came to me for advice I told them to be cautious, gave them resources to look thru together, told them to TALK ABT EVERYTHING and warned them that polyamory is not for the faint of heart or timid ppl who are afraid of confrontation bc it requires radical honesty w yourself and your partners and 10 times more communication than even a monogamous relationship and if that's not something they can do then it's best to leave it alone. I tried to be tactful but I knew it was a bad idea bc I've known this couple for 20 years, before they were even a couple, and they couldn't even be bothered to do 5 minutes of research for our D&D campaigns even when I heaped resources on them, much less relationship shit I also knew this would happen bc neither one of them have the emotional maturity or gumption to deal w their shit (esp. husband) which is bad enough in a monogamous relationship but even more mission critical in a poly situation. I have literally watched sparks turn into a wildfire bc husband is a pass agg drama queen and wifey so wrapped up in NRE with this ain't shit pothead (don't get me started on him, he's done nothing but pour gasoline on it) that it didn't seem to occur to her that her husband was dragged kicking and screaming into this and that maybe she needed to put the brakes on and chill for a bit but spewing shit all over facebook and vagueblogging implying you're the victim of a homewrecker is not "dealing w your shit" either btw. trying to turn the friend group against her and shit is nonsense I'm tired of both of them tbh and this shit is half of why I stay off fb. I refuse to continually play Iyanla Vanzant to ppl who refuse to listen to me and seem perpetually stuck on stupid and don't wanna act like grown folks but are on grown folks business.