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#^ if anyone knows any way to solve that problem btw PLEASE tell me
skenpiel · 3 days
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I LOST MY PHONE OUTSIDE AND THE GUY WHO PICKED IT UP IS GOING OUT OF TOWN UNTIL SUNDAY. GRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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kolyubov · 9 months
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Ok I need you to hear me out! What about dazai, Fyodor and or Nikolai with a s/o that is the psychologist/therapist for their respective organisation! Is reader aware that they are way beyond redemption? Yes, does reader know that they can't fix them? Also yes, but as their s/o they try their best to save the little sanity they have left by reminding them to take their pills/vitamins, having casual therapy sessions with them and comforting them after (btw I don't think any of them would go to therapy on their own so reader being the therapist of the organisation they are in would make more sense for them to communicate and eventually form a relationship, plus I think a emotionally intelligent reader would really balance them out)
Have a wonderful day or night and don't forget to hydrate!!!!
omg nonnie, this is very interesting! I tried my best to imagine these three going to therapy… sort of.
please remember to hydrate yourself too<33
Therapist s/o!
✧ contents. sfw!!
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I'm kind of sure that a psychologist (and I think a therapist too) is not allowed to have a personal relationship with their patient, so I'd like to think that their relationship with their s/o is a secret, at least inside the organization.
Dazai will come to visit you every day even if it's not necessarily for a therapy session.
He only goes to the Agency to see you— I imagine you have a small office inside the building of the Agency, so whenever Dazai is bored, he leaves the Agency's office and goes downstairs to visit you!
For him, it's a good thing that his s/o is also his therapist because he won't open up with anyone else but you. He would ask for you to run your fingers through his fluffy hair as he tells you how his past memories are still tormenting him sometimes.
Since you're a professional and know so much about people's minds, your conversations are always very deep which he's thankful for; knowing that someone understands him and gives him the comfort that he needs badly.
Dazai doesn't need any type of medication I think. Maybe he'll need to sleep better and eat properly but as long as you sleep with him and remind him to take his meals, he'll do as you said<3
-
I believe Fyodor doesn't want therapy, or pills, even if he needs them.
You know his physical and mental health are not the best, and he knows it too, but he doesn't care about it that much.
Maybe the roles would turn upside down? He would ask why you have such opinions and would discuss a lot of philosophical stuff about human beings and their lives and the way they socialize with other humans.
Fyodor would be the stubborn type; like, you would tell him to go out for a walk and get some fresh air because he's lacking vitamin D but he only chuckles and says that he doesn't need to, that he's perfectly fine.
A few hours later he would go out for a walk as you said and left a small bouquet of flowers he collected himself on your desk.
Also, he comes to ask for your opinion on important things before doing them!
-
Nikolai wouldn't take things seriously most of the time. He needs to make silly jokes and tease you as you try to advise him for his own good.
He would gladly take any pills you give him but you need to sit on his lap and give him the pill yourself, then kiss his forehead and call him a good boy. If not, he would refuse the medication.
Sometimes he feels very very down, like; he enters your office with a somber expression and needs to be cuddled as you try to help him solve his problem.
You make him feel happy even if it's just with a kiss on the cheek or words of affirmation<3
Definitely surprises you and teleports behind you as you're doing paperwork.
About his “freedom” thing… As much as you'd like to tell him that it's (almost) impossible, he won't stop trying to reach his goal and will keep on telling you with a big smile how he plans to achieve it. Well… At least he's still your Nikolai for now.
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2024 © pinklacydovey
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pressagie · 1 year
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tw: homophobia
hello!! first of all i just wanna say that i love your blog (@/diospirando) so much. i found you through your uquiz (which was really helpful btw). i came here to ask about my love life. here is a little bit about me: my hobbies include learning about marine life and watching films. i am a lesbian and come from a pretty religious family and almost everyone i know is also very religious. i haven’t come out to anyone for obvious reasons except for a few really close friends. i myself am not religious and have left my religion last year, however i feel this overwhelming sense of guilt for leaving even though whenever i try to come back to my religion i just can’t get myself to believe in it again. sometimes i wish i could just go back to believing in it like i did before and try my best to start liking men because i really dont want everyone i know and love to hate me. all of my irl friends are homophobic and i feel a lot of guilt for what i am and after constantly being told my whole life that i will go to hell for simply loving someone i just dont know anymore what to do because i am really so lonely. a lot of my irls are in relationships and i just wanted to ask if there is someone for me as well? like someone who is able to understand me unlike all of the other people in my life and accept me for who i am? and is there a chance of that person being a guy? (i know this sounds bad of me asking since i just said i am a lesbian but i really am just hoping that there is some guy out there that i will like so i can continue to have a good relationship with my family and friends). i am honestly just really sick of being lonely and not being understood, i just want to meet someone who gets me well. i have a preference for tarot but you can decide which works best for my situation. i’d also like to request a book passage and song of your choice. again, thank you and sorry for this question being so long.
hi im so sorry im the person who sent the last anonymous ask (the one that mentions being a lesbian and having a very religious family). i forgot to add something to it and i have no idea how to unsend/edit an ask because im kind of new to tumblr but i just wanted to add something to my question. I'd like to know about future patner and the type of person they are (any information is about), it can be their appearance, personality, achievements, where I'll meet them or even how they're doing currently in life whatever you can channel I'll be happy with anything. thank you :D
Hey 🤎
I'm so sorry you're going through that.
(And thank you for the TW.)
Speaking as a queer person with christian and queerphobic relatives: please remember that you can't choose to like men, or anyone for that matter. Obviously, attraction is fluid – but let me ask you this (and tell me to fuck off, if it's not my place): even if you were to be with a guy, would that solve all the problems which the people in your life have?
I can't tell you what to believe, just as no one should. But if you need to hear this, and it helps in any way: I promise that you're not going to hell for being a lesbian, and you deserve so much better than the judgement and guilt from your family and other people. You deserve to be happy, be it single or otherwise. You deserve understanding, to feel connected – and not only acceptance, but FULL BLOWN RESPECT.
(I'm really glad that you liked the quiz! Guessing you meant this one?)
(Did I understand correctly that you follow me @diospirando? Either way, feel free to come say hello 🥰 I'm very curious to know if we've interacted before, but no pressure!)
(Oh and you can't unsend/edit asks.)
Note: I added some info to my pinned post, and I recommend (to everyone who sent in questions) giving it a read.
Now on to your reading... I did try Tarot first like you asked, but the Oracle's what you get today 🤠
This deck is based on animals at risk of extinction in the Iberian Peninsula (where I live) and others with relevant roles in our mythologies/religions... I included their names, in case they have any personal, special meaning for you – and there are some marine species :]
Spoiler alert: you only got birds 😂 but at least 3/5 (that I checked) are related to the sea!
Is there someone for me as well?
— Who is able to understand me unlike all the other people in my life and accept me for who I am?
ASCENSION & the pigeon Columba palumbus azorica (horizontal)
I take the terms the author of this deck uses with several grains of salt cause I don't buy into the common spiritual associations with, e.g., ascension (but that's a conversation for another time) so here I'm taking the card to mean distancing yourself, traveling... Flying, if you want to be more literal.
This species is endemic to basically one of the Azores islands only – meaning it can't be found anywhere else in the world. If you combine this information, I think it's fair to say that you can find someone (to have a relationship like you want) if you look somewhere you already expect to find them, such as a specific community (that could very well be online)!
Sidenote: it landed on my lap instead of the table, and I usually use that to signal if something/someone has tried to catch your attention, or is still trying – so pay attention.
I'd like to know about my future partner and the type of person they are.
— Their appearance, personality, or even how they're doing currently in life.
RECOGNITION & the falcon Falco naumanni (horizontal) AUTHENTICITY & the gull Ichthyaetus audouinii (upright) + VISION & the eagle Aquila adalberti (inverted) WISDOM & the eagle-owl Bubo bubo (upright)
You may recognize each other from somewhere, but not like you knew each other well before (there is a Reunion card to symbolize that kind of previously established contact/relation in a stronger way). This falcon is a summer migrant so that might point to when you first crossed paths and/or will cross again.
Their personality is authentic, but you'll have a hard time seeing that (at first). This could be related to your own interests and lifestyle, and the concept of individuality (refer to the gull's and the eagle's links for inspiration to think deeper about this).
Either they're being thoughtful regarding how they live, and making wise choices, they're a student/teacher – or both! The Bubo bubo (adorable name) being a species of eagle-owl can indicate some connection to the previous eagle card (individuality, perspective...).
This is getting a little long so I'm gotta let you take it from here 🐚🌊
Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (1865) Chapter III: A CAUCUS-RACE AND A LONG TALE
«They were indeed a queer looking party that assembled on the bank – the birds with draggled feathers, the animals with their fur clinging close to them, and all dripping wet, cross, and uncomfortable.»
Movement by Hozier in Spotify Singles (2019)
Thank you for trusting me to read for you. I would love to know what you think: if this resonates with your circumstances, and what comes of it. Don't be afraid to give me honest feedback and suggestions, after all, it'll help me become a better reader :]
Do you want to expand on this or have another topic to explore? Leave me a (follow-up) question!
You can always include the numbered tag associated with your reading(s), and I'll add it to the future posts as well, so they are identified as belonging to the same querent, and easier to find – check below, next to #OMEN DEAL.
For Ko-fi tips (zero pressure)
I honor the spirit who helps with my practice – for winding and guiding my path, learning how to sit with me, and being a light to read by.
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Elioth Gruner's Milking Time / Araluen Valley
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liptonsbabe · 3 years
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Chains of a family [B.W]
Bill Weasley x Grant! reader
Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4
Summary: Molly thinks that Bill’s and the reader relationship is a mistake so she wants them apart from each other. Bill’s against his mother wishes and he find a way to drag the reader into the Weasley family officialy
Word count: 1.9K
Warnings: none
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A/N: Hi! Part 4 of this thing lol. I’m so happy that you guys like this story. It’ll have like 20 chapters or so, i’m still deciding that so yeah, that’s pretty much the thing. Btw, from now on chapters will be more interestings... i hope so lol. Again, english not my mother language. Please let me know if something’s wrong. Aaaaaand if you want to be tagged in the next chapters tell me and i will add you! Enjoy!
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Chapter 4: Arguments
The rest of the afternoon passed as normal as the days before your arrival. Arthur Weasley made sure of it. Even if Molly attacked you with her dagger gaze when you and Bill hugged each other after you were done with dessert.
You didn’t know what Mr. Weasley had talked about with his wife while you were taking a shower, however, you noticed the tension rising from their bodies after you sat down at the table next to Bill and saw an annoyance sign on Molly’s lips. Her temple was frowned, reminding you of your own mother's gestures. Those flaming eyes, cleft chin, and pinion lips. Both women contract their features too much when they were upset and in your distress, you knew that they must not be disturbed.
The last thing you wanted was to hurt a marriage as solid as the Weasley's. More than once you heard your mother talk about it with your nanny making a powerful emphasis on how Molly and Arthur were able to carry out their marriage even if their economic conditions were precarious and the war was on their heels. They were an envied couple. Few dared to expand the family as much as they did without money in their pockets and spreading their progeny like a plague. No one was surprised, not even your mother, not when her marriage to Evan Grant was merely for financial advantage. Now Arthur and Molly looked upset, too upset for your understanding and you just hoped they could get along soon.
You weren't sure you deserved the sacrifice Bill's father had made for you, yet a flame of hope lit up in your chest. If Mr. Weasley started to trust you that was a good sign for others to do as well, right?
The afternoon continued as normal, seeing how Bill's plans to distract you from the fervent harassment of his mother was marred by the twins intervention. They had just finished a new product for their store and needed a good taster to certify the quality of their merchandise. It was a bad idea, he told himself, because twins were just a disaster and you didn't know them well enough to deny their good-natured pretensions.
"Be kind!" He yelled at them as Fred and George pulled you into their. Bill exhaled, pleading that his brothers wouldn't bother his girlfriend more than his mother already had.
Before taking you home, he thought about the pros and cons of your stay in the burrow. His conclusion was based on the fact that his entire family welcomed Harry Potter with open arms, so you didn't have to be the exception. He knew the difference in conditions in which his theory developed, yet he put his trust in the good judgment of his family even if the Grants' past left much to be desired. Bill didn't talk much about you with his mother, in fact, your presence at home was the last of his worries, the real problem came at the time of joining the Order of the Phoenix, would you be willing to fight against your relatives even if that mean betraying your own blood? Bill hope you will
Coming downstairs, Bill found his mother storing the leftover food in the fridge while the dishes soaked in the sink. Then he watched her clean each plate with her bare hands, no magic. William knew his anger was real.
"Want some help with that?"
"I'd love to, honey, thank you," his mother answered without looking at him. Bill raised the sleeves of his shirt to his elbows, dipping his hands into the tide of water and bubbles that flew across the kitchen. Molly was silent, drying the dishes and flying them to her place in the display case across the kitchen. Bill cleared his throat doubtfully "It never hurts to help, much less when I have so many things to do before the rest of the Order arrive"
"Don't worry, I'll help you with that too."
"Perfect"
"Mom, can we talk?"
"About what?
"You know what," Bill clicked his tongue, passing her the last plate from the sink to continue with the spoons. "(Y/N)..."
"Your father has scolded me enough about that girl, I don't need you to do it too"
"I wouldn't if you had a little consideration with her."
"More consideration?" Molly asked in a squeak. Bill shook his head. "I'm letting her stay at my home!"
"Our home, mom, ours," he corrected, drying his hands with a cloth. "This house also belongs to my dad, my brothers, and me. It's the burrow, a family property, not a secret club where some people can get in and others cannot."
"You know what I think of her"
"And you know I don't care." Molly looked scandalized at her son. She didn't understand what he had seen in someone like you or what you had given him to come out and defend you as he did "I don't ask you to love her, but at least you have to try...
"Have you ever wondered what will happen when she betrays us?"
"That's not gonna happen"
"You're very sure of that, William"
"I'm convinced, Mom. You don't know her like I do and, you know what? I see that wanting to talk to you was a mistake"
"Moody thinks like me," Molly stopped him when Bill was ready to go upstairs. The woman clung to the railing watching her son standing in the first step out of the kitchen "(Y/N) Grant is a danger to the Order"
"Really? Like Mundungus Fletcher? I beg your pardon, mom, but if there is anyone who represents a latent danger to the Order of the Phoenix, it's him and yet you have assigned him for the mission tonight"
Molly's lips parted and if it weren't for the fact that Bill knew her mother too well, he might think the woman was about to throw herself on the floor in a tantrum. Still, she clenched the bars tightly, her brow furrowed, and the redness on her cheeks washed over her forehead.
"William!" Don't talk to me like that!"
"I wouldn't if you had a little more respect for my girlfriend."
"Don't you understand? I care about you! For all of us!" She snarled angrily. "Having a Riddle in this house..."
"A Grant, mom, (Y/N) is a Grant and that's not the same." Bill descended his steps, approaching her mother, returning that angry look that she had inherited from him. It was a strange sensation. A dyad of emotions between joy and fear where the composed emotion was guilt. He had never exploded that way with his mother, but Molly hadn't behaved that way with anyone either "His grandfather is Lord Voldemort's half-brother and his brothers are all Death Eaters, what does it matter? (Y/N) is not. And when do we judge others by where they come from? If so, we could start with half of us. Being a Weasley is equivalent to being a blood traitor"
"William!"
Molly's face went from fury to shock to fury again. Bill's eyes were twinkling and Molly swore she had never seen any of her children this angry, or worse, this determined.
"What would you have done, Mom?" Bill questioned taking his mother by his arms in an attempt to make him feel her despair. Molly opened her eyes, scared. "When your family tell you not to accept dad? When your brothers object to your engagement, just 'cause the Weasleys have long been considered blood traitors?"
For the first time that day Molly's mind went blank, Bill guessed, rewinding the memories of how difficult it was for the Prewetts to accept the marriage. Bill pleaded silently, but pulled away from her when his mother gave no indication to be a little more respectful with you.
"We aren't like that. We don't separate people by where they come from, we hug them" Bill resumed his way towards the stairs, stopping a couple of steps up, turning to take a look at Molly's stunned figure "As you did with Hermione, Remus and Harry when you and Dad became his godparents after Sirius died. (Y/N) is no different"
"She will turn her back on us when the Order fight the Grants. That moment will come and you know it"
"Don't worry, i'll make sure that doesn't happen"
"She is not part of this family"
"That can be solved very easily," he said and the smile he wore gave her a terrible chill down her spine. "Because I'm going to ask her to be my wife."
Molly's gasp was the only thing Bill heard before climbing the stairs and heading to the twins' room. He always respected his mother a lot and even thinking of opposing to her wishes was inconceivable, but your well-being was something that was involved and Bill couldn't just let her mother control his life at her will. Maybe the mistake he made was not telling his parents the truth about you from the start or, in that case, mentioning that the woman he loved was the fucking niece of the strongest fucking dark wizard of all time.
Bill Weasley rubbed his face as he reached the twins' door. He no longer had to torment himself, it was done and the only thing pending at the moment was to get Harry out of his uncles' house, take him safely to the burrow and find the courage to do what he told his mother he would do.
Would you agree to marry him? He hoped so and if not, he wouldn't pressure you. You were young - even a little younger than him - and it would be understandable if you refused to tie your life to someone else's from one moment to the other. The war progressed every day and if you were going to do it, you would do it as soon as possible.
Loud laughings brought him out of his thoughts to observe you and his brothers sitting on the floor, right in the center of both beds, laughing at each other and touching your faces. From the doorway Bill can't see the full painted room, however George's face showed a rather abstract mural full of bright colors when he felt the presence of his older brother. Fred did the same showing his face in the same situation and then you turned to Bill, still laughing and your face smeared with paint. It seemed the twins had created a paint bomb in millimeter pills, that explode when you put a little bit of pressure. You tried to clean yourself with the sleeve of your sweater but you spread the paint even more. Fred and George laughed and so did Bill.
His heart swelled with love as he saw that at least someone in his family - besides him and his father - had hope in you. God, he may have even cried with happiness.
Bill never understood how a sunshine as beautiful as you was never accepted in your entire life.
Tags:
@purple-vodka-99
@vampirestrawberries
Thanks for the 100 followers!❤
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dollymadness · 3 years
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I have request: bakugo, tamaki, mirio reacting to reader yelling at them. Make it angsty. Pls. Hi btw. 👀
heyy muah 😽
mirio togata (x abusive reader)
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"Hi, sunshine!" Mirio was late for the date. Again.
"Where were you?" You ask, with a extremely polite tone, and his eyes already loose all the light they had when he saw you.
"I'm sorry, darling, Eri wanted to play a little more and i-"
"And again you choose her over me, right? I'm starting to figure out your priorities in life." You insist on the calm, low way to say your words, and stare at him with murder eyes.
"She is a little girl... i love her as... as a daughter. H-how can you say something like that..." Mirio is starting to breakdown, starting to doubt his own feelings.
"I'm being realistic." You grab his arm and stick your nails deep on his skin. "She is not your daughter, and you'll never be able to cover the emptiness she already holds. Only a fool like you to think that she could ever see you as a father figure... All you do is be clingy and annoying around her!" Togatas eyes drops to the ground and he plays with the sleeve of his shirt to avoid the tears.
"It's ok if she does not see me like that..." He offers you a depressed smile. "All i want is to ease her pain, even if it's just a little. And i need to take care of her-"
"Of course... guess i'm just overeacting again, sorry. I don't need your attention and support as she does..." You know exactly what to say to put some guilt on his back.
"No-no, don't say that! Your feelings are important to me too, and i'm so sorry that i let you down again, i swear i won't repeat this..."
"Tsc... the same thing you said last time. And here we are, having the same discussion... you're so dumb i swear-"
"I'm sorry... let's just... enjoy our date?"
"Hah- Funny how you say that you care but try to avoid the topic at all costs."
"I'm- fuck, how could i be so unsensitive...? do it, tell me everything you are feeling. I promise i'll fix."
"Don't make promises you can't keep. The only thing that could solve this problem would be you let go of this... this... stupid child!" You stop the pressure on his arm and start gentle massaging the place. "It's between me and her. I won't take excuses this time."
"But, but..." Mirio take a moment to think of the best words choice. "Eri makes me so happy... after i lost my quirk my days has been only her... she helps me to forget too..."
"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?" The tone makes him focus on you again.
"No..."
"SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You point an accusing finger to his face and straight your posture.
Before talking again, you take a good, long, amused look at how destroyed he is. A tiny smile emerges.
"I don't have time to your FUCKING VICTMISM! 'After i lost my quirk' *cry noises* THAT'S BULLSHIT. DEAL WITH IT! RECOVER ALREADY, USELESS PIECE OF SHIT!" You push him.
"You're right..." Togata feels like an idiot. Why can't he just surpass the pain? Why does he need someone to do it? He has one simple task and he keeps failing.
Useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless...
"DID I SAY THAT YOU COULD FUCKING SPEAK?" You aren't done with him yet. "WHY ARE YOU SO ANNOYING? YOU... SELFISH BITCH! Can't you think of others feelings for once? Damn..."
Mirio is taking everything you give him with a fake smile, but he can't stop the tears. You're right, you always are.
Is his fault. If only he had make to the date in time, if he was able to not always talk about himself-
"ANSWER ME NOW, UNWANTED TRASH!"
"I'm being so s-selfish..." The tears empaze his words in a way that would be painful to anyone that watched, but not for you. Tears mean that you won. "I apologize for being uncapable to solve my own problems... Please..."
"I'm done with this. Have fun babysitting Eri, because you just lost me." You proceed to walk away, but Togata runs to you.
"I can't do this alone. Don't leave me, please! I swear i'll be good, i will be always happy to you and you won't even notice my selfish problems. I promise, just please, PLEASE..." Mirio begging after all the yelling, all the bad things he heard... is the prove you needed that he is eating on the palm of your hand.
"I don't need a fucking dependent on my back!" With this, the sweet smile finally fades as he lets out a sad whimper.
"NO! I love you so much, give me just one more chance!" None of the "other times" were his fault either, but he felt as it was.
"I can't, you are destroying me, Mirio...."
"It wasn't the intention..." You turn away and he starts panicking. "I'LL DO ANYTHING, I'M BEGGING!"
"I already told you what i want you to do." You know that you're incisive and painfully killing any sign of joy he once saw.
"Sure, i-i will..." He is a crying mess, just to think that he would have to give up on his favorite person to have you.
"Amazing... Are you crying, love? Aw, don't be like that, shh... I'm sorry, i took it too far. I need to learn how to hide my feelings... shh.... It's ok." You hug him and pats his head, he doesn't stop crying. (this is not comfort and it's not a soft ending for clear reasons)
All the insults spin on his head, as he shakily curls into your chest.
Tamaki:
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"Fairy... really, Tamaki?" The question floated in the air, as Amajiki only stared at his hands.
"S-she is m-my friend..."
Were she inducing him into flirt? Yes.
But did he tried to stop it? No.
You got so mad, watching your boyfriend sit there and watch as his "friend" threw herself to him.
"And because she is your friend, you think you are allowed to flirt with her?" It felt like you were dealing with a child, holding back your anger and jealousy so he don't get hurt.
"W-wasn't flirtying..."
"Oh, right. So how do you call it?"
"C-complimenting my friend..?" He makes himself as smaller as he can and waits, never staring at you.
"Are you playing dumb with me? She was obviously seducing you and you didn't move an inche!" It's so tiring how he can't stand for himself.
"I was being friendly..."
"FRIENDLY?" He flinches, starting to tremble and whisper to himself. "YOU WOULD'VE CHEATED ON ME IF I DIDN'T STOP HER!"
"N-no..." Tamaki hates screams so much.
"LIAR! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE TOO INNOCENT, IT'S SO-"
You look at Tamaki and he is sobbing, asking for forgiviness but is barely audible. It breaks your heart when he starts punching himself.
The world is all blurry to Amajikis, he hates this part of his personality so much, and you were the only one that he thought understands him, that you understood how hard it is for him, but he is trying his best.
"Tamaki?" You were calling him since you noticed that you were screaming, but he spaced out. "I'm sorry, oh my god, answer me-"
The only one he thought fully understands...
"Sorry, baby!!! Look at me, oh fuck!"
Liar? Cheater? Is this all you have to say about him? Coudn't be more caring with the words?
Is in times like this that we really get to know someone, he ponders.
"I-i-i c-can't d-do this any-anymore..." He then runs for his life.
Amajiki told Mirio and Nejire about everything, and aa the protectors they are, both helped him to avoid you as the month passed.
Came to the point that Tamaki alone didn't look at you anymore, your face alone make him feel anxious.
and that was when you knew that the lovebirds feel apart.
Bakugo
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"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Katsuki was raging, for the third time this week.
"Angel, i would like it better if we sit here and talk..."
"Who cares about what you think?" He is stubborn, you can tell after 2 years of dating.
"Katsuki, stop being immature for a minute." You aren't on the mood to take his drama today, and he doesn't notice that he is crossing a line.
"What about YOU stop being A WHORE, SHITTY PERSON!"
Katsuki is mad at you for posting a pic with your guy bestfriend. His jealousy is getting out of hand, the photo has none romantic appealing.
"You better apologize now." You're firm with him, not backing up even when the little explosions start on his hands.
"I am the one to apologize? Fuck no."
"I literally did nothing wrong and you are screaming, of course you are going to apologize!"
"NOTHING WRONG?" Bakugo walks away so he won't hurt you. "YOU AND THAT LOSER POSTING PHOTOS TOGHETER WAS WHAT? A NIGHTMARE?" he replys to you and proceeds to spit.
"You're... disgusting, you know that?"
"SHUT UP! I'm very dissapointed with-"
"YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" You suddenly stand for yourself, gaining confidence out of nowhere.
Katsuki is silent. He just heavy breaths and stare at you with seems like fear.
"I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK TO WHAT YOU THINK!" You yell and he is taken aback by your response, closing his eyes and trying to take more air.
"I HATE YOU! I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE, IT'S USELESS!" You start taking your things to walk away. "I won't insist into a failed relationship anymore."
He can't move.
All those years, he was the one pointing fingers at you, he was the one accusing.
And he doesn't know what to do now.
Katsuki is still upset, and his pride says to stay right where he is and pray for you to come back.
But he is not cold hearted as it seems, he wants you more than anything. Maybe he should give up only this time
Or maybe not.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
YES
NO!!!
YES!!!!!!
By the time he is able to decide, you are already out of his sigh, out of the shopping you guys had agreed to met in, and you are out of your rational state.
Katsuki was not able to find you that day.
Katsuki was not able to fix it.
End </3
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makeste · 4 years
Note
A theory I have seen is that Fuyumi wants the family back so desperately, because she and Toya experienced the better Endeavor, where everything was alright. My guess is that after his decent into abuse its stopped being like a normal family and Natsuo and Shoto never experienced a normal family. But that is just a therory
okay so speaking as someone who grew up with an abusive and neglectful parent (though in my case it was my mom rather than my dad)... it’s complicated. there are a lot of emotions there. I think one of the things Horikoshi has really excelled at with the whole Todoroki plot is the way that he’s used the four siblings to show the different ways that children respond to parental abuse. and I can say from personal experience that all of them are valid. not just the bitterness, anger, and resentment that Touya, Natsuo, and Shouto have all shown at times, but also that intense (but tentative, almost wishful-thinking) longing to just have a normal family that we see from Fuyumi. speaking again from experience, that last one isn’t an outlier at all. in fact, in my case, I’d say that was honestly the strongest feeling out of all of them, and it even fueled a lot of the other three emotions. btw just a heads up I’m gonna delve into some personal stuff here briefly, so yeah. I won’t put details, but if anyone wants an abuse trigger warning added to the post or anything like that, just let me know.
so the thing is, even during my angriest times, if some magic wish-granting genie had poofed in and told the child me, “’sup, I’m here to solve all of your family problems, just tell me what you want me to do,” I wouldn’t have wanted them to take my mom away and lock her up somewhere and make her suffer or anything like that. honestly, even during the worst of it, the thing I wanted more than anything else was just to have a normal family. my mom had a lot of untreated mental health issues, and it was basically a situation where you never knew which version of her you were going to get on any given day. so there were times when she was a kind and loving mother who took care of me and my siblings. and there were a great many more times when she was temperamental and erratic, and we all (my dad included) basically just walked on eggshells around her and did our best to lay low and try not to bother her because even little things might set her off, and we never knew how she was going to react. and my dad worked a lot, and my sibs and I were homeschooled for reasons which I’m not gonna get into because this post is already veering off on too many tangents, but anyway so the short of it is that my sibs and I grew up in this unstable environment and ended up more or less raising ourselves. and I resented my mom a lot for that, growing up, and I still do honestly.
now a lot’s happened since then, and she’s gotten some help, and my siblings and I are all adults now and we’re more or less good, even though we all took a certain amount of Psychic Damage along the way and we’re each still dealing with that. and we each have different relationships with our mom now, and a couple of my sibs are even fairly close to her. but for my part, I pretty much have no relationship with her at all outside of seeing her a few times a year at family get-togethers and the like. the thing is, even though my mom did eventually (after a LOT of false starts and struggles and heartache) get some help, she’s never really shown remorse for what my siblings and I went through because of her. she’s never taken responsibility for any of it. she blames a lot of other people, and will go on long rants about all of the terrible things that have happened to her and all of the horrible ways people have treated her (some of which is true, and some of which very much is not). but there’s never even the slightest acknowledgement of any of the things she herself has done to hurt others. she either passes the blame or just pretends it never happened. 
and honestly, it sucks. even now, there’s little to no real desire to change on her part. she’s gotten therapy and meds now, and so emotionally she’s much more stable than when we were kids, but one of the unfortunate results is that it’s all the more clear now that a lot of her behavior never had anything to do with her mental illness at all. she just didn’t care at all about how she was hurting others; or at the very least, didn’t care to face it. and that’s just how it is.
anyway, so I’m sorry to keep breaking away and telling you guys my own life story lol. but the point I’m trying to get at here is that I actually relate to Fuyumi so much, though. what I wanted more than anything was for my mom to care, and to say she was sorry, and for me to be able to believe that and to trust her, and for her to actually change. that was it.
and so for me, here’s the biggest difference between the Endeavor situation, and my own and so many others. the difference is that unlike people in real life, we know Endeavor is actually remorseful for what he’s done. we know it for certain because we’ve seen it for ourselves, from his own point of view. the manga actually lets us get inside his head and shows us that he really is sincere, that he really is sorry, and that he really is trying to change. and that’s something that’s impossible to get in real life. that certainty that the person really means it, that they’re genuinely remorseful and committed to making amends.
and for me, that’s fucking wish fulfillment right there. for the abusive parent to finally realize the error of their ways and be sorry and try to do right by their kids. I fucking wanted that. hell, I still want it, even though I’ve made my peace with things the way that they are. that chance to somehow heal the broken relationship, and have your parent genuinely try their best to be a real parent to you, even if it’s years after the fact? shit. I’d take that in a heartbeat.
and so when it comes to Fuyumi and her attempts to get her family to reconcile and experience a few normal things, I f feel that. I really do. because when you’re growing up in that type of situation, normal is all that you want. and I don’t think it’s anything that requires an explanation on her part, because it’s not actually an unusual reaction at all. it’s natural. it’s the most natural thing in the world. honestly it’s annoying that fandom sometimes tries to shame her for having those feelings. like honestly, fuck that. because the thing is, I’d wager that almost every kid who grew up with an abusive parent has at some time or other felt the exact same way.
and that includes Touya, Natsuo, and Shouto as well. literally the only difference between them and Fuyumi is that they feel that Endeavor’s change of heart is simply coming too late. it’s not that they don’t want their family back, just like she does; it’s that from their point of view, it’s something they can’t get back. for Fuyumi, that dream of having a normal family is something she’s still seeking. for Natsuo and Touya, that dream of having a normal family is something that was destroyed. something that Endeavor killed. something they’re in mourning of. and so Touya wants revenge for it, and Natsuo is trying to pick himself up and move past it. and meanwhile Shouto is caught somewhere in the middle of all of those reactions, because he’s still trying to decide whether or not he can ever bring himself to trust his father again. he’s somewhere in between his brothers’ mourning and his sister’s hopefulness. sort of a Schrodinger type of deal lol.
but anyway, the point I’m trying to make here is that all four siblings are really experiencing the same thing, just in different ways. Fuyu may be the one arranging family dinners and the like, but that same longing to be part of a normal family is at the core of Natsuo, Shouto, and even Touya’s behavior as well. Natsuo’s hurt and resentment, and Touya’s spite and bitterness, come from being denied the thing they want. and Fuyu’s shaky attempts at reconciliation come from her desire to still obtain it somehow. but at the end of the day they’re the exact same feelings. and they all come from the same place.
anyways, hopefully that makes some kind of sense. basically, everyone is valid. Fuyu is valid, Natsu and Shouto are valid, and Touya is murdery which isn’t cool, but his feelings are still valid too nonetheless. hugs and therapy for the Todoroki children in 2021, Horikoshi. please and thank you.
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clemswinecorner · 3 years
Text
Prompts!
Please give me requests! I also have written for OBX and HSMTMTS (characters+cast) but very low on inspiration there. I mainly write for F1/F2/other drivers.
Send a request here :) please include for who and which prompt list! Will most likely default to she/her pronouns, if you want any other pronouns used that's fine too! Just make sure to let me know :)
Also, feel free to ask me for more than 1!! They don't have to be from the same prompt post, whatever you feel like :) Just mention what prompt from which post. I have fully taken these from @love-me-a-good-prompt btw, you can also send in your own if you want! You can include context/storyline but you can also just leave it up to me, whatever you prefer!!
I also have a Taglist! Check it out to be added.
Also: I do not write smut (since I'm a minor) :)
Tumblr media
"please take this seriously"
"please excuse me"
"please give it back"
"please go with me"
"please don't give up"
"please wait for me"
"please come back"
"please give it a try"
"please go away"
"please don't tell anyone"
"please forgive me"
"please remain calm"
"please don't leave"
"please let me handle it"
"please give it a chance"
"please don't be so hard on yourself"
"please be quiet""please don't judge"
"please wait your turn"
"please don't hesitate to ask"
"thank you for listening"
"thank you, I get that a lot"
"thank you, but no"
"thank you for your time"
"thank you for understanding"
"thank you, I needed to hear that"
"thank you, I can take it from here"
"thank you, that's enough"
"thank you, you didn't have to do that"
"thank you for your help"
"thank you, no one has ever said that to me before"
"thank you for inviting me"
"thank you, that means a lot to me"
"thank you for trusting me"
"thank you, how did you know today's my birthday?"
"thank you, you're gonna make me blush"
"thank you for not giving up"
"thank you for participating"
"thank you, I love it"
"thank you, but I know what I'm doing"
"What have you done?"
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Is this important?"
"Who is that?"
"Why is it so dark in here?"
"Did you make this?"
"Can I have one?"
"Aren't you supposed to help me?"
"What's wrong with it?"
"Am I in the right place?"
"What are you so mad about?"
"Do I look like I'm joking?"
"How do you spell it?"
"Are you with someone?"
"Can we do this again?"
"Is that how you really feel?"
"Do you still need me?"
"Is that okay with you?"
"Will you be there?"
"I'm rambling again, aren't I?"
"you can talk to me about anything"
"I don't understand but I believe you"
"I'll stay with you as long as you need me to"
"take a deep breath"
"do you want me to give you advice or do you just want me to listen?"
"you don't have to go through this alone"
"I'll check on you again tomorrow"
"you're not broken"
"let's take a five minute break"
"I love you no matter what your brain tells you"
"I'm always here if you need anything"
"please don't talk that way about yourself"
"let me know if you ever need a ride to therapy"
"don't forget to take your medication"
"it's okay to ask for help"
"I'll go with you for moral support"
"I don't know how to help you but I can help you find someone who does"
"do you want to talk about it or would you like a distraction?"
"you're safe"
"there is always hope"
"good luck"
"I had a bad dream"
"never speak of this again"
"this is serious"
"you're being kind of rude"
"I can't see"
"let's make a deal"
"tell me about yourself"
"I dare you"
"you never listen to me"
"hold still"
"I'm okay now"
"give it to me"
"take a guess"
"I can't make it"
"back off"
"I knew this was a bad idea"
"don't come crying to me"
"I don't mind"
"take it easy"
"I want to go home"
"take it back"
"I can't remember"
"it's not funny"
"I lied"
"don't tell me to calm down"
"I need a hug"
"that wasn't supposed to happen"
"hurry back"
"stop interrupting me"
"I can't take you seriously"
"I don't want to talk about it"
"problem solved"
"I need more time"
"let me go"
"that was embarrassing"
"never do that again"
"I have an idea"
"it's freezing in here"
"you've changed"
"I don't need your help"
"look at this"
"I kept my promise"
"I'm not feeling well"
"this one is my favorite"
"it's too hot"
"I can't afford it"
"I didn't know what to do"
"my head is pounding"
"I'll take care of it"
"it's now or never"
"I have bad news"
"let's go together"
"I can't think straight"
"we can't risk it"
"I'm too scared"
"this feels wrong"
"I want one"
"it really hurts"
"that was really nice of you"
“What's your deal?"
"Can you show me?"
"Is that all you've got?"
"What are you doing here?"
"Don't you think that's a little extreme?"
"What is wrong with me?"
"Where are you going?"
"How did you do that?"
"What are you up to?"
"Were you listening?"
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saphirered · 4 years
Note
essek!!! honestly anything lol but maybe (i'll try to keep it vague for spoiler reasons) after ep 131 or ep 124, maybe a confession fic? if you aren't caught up just a general how a confession would go please! i love your writing and blog btw, all your caleb stuff is so 👌👌👌
Thank you for your request and yes I am caught up. I hope you enjoy this one.
Warning spoilers for Episode 124
Essek’s betrayal hit you hard. Sure you’d considered the possibility but being faced with that truth so upfront hurt, a lot. You’d been able to avoid him for the longest of times thanks to the Nein being taken in different directions. You simply couldn’t face him. After the party in Nicordanas you put on a brave face and you agreed with Caleb wholeheartedly but you didn’t have the strength to say these words yourself. Any interaction you had between then and now had been cordial and straight to the point whereas before there were plenty of pleasantries, some flirting even and the realisation your flirting was rooted within your own feelings. You’re a good enough people reader to know that his, at the very least were rooted in affection and before Nicodranas you might have seen a possible bright future for the both of you. Even after his betrayal was revealed your feelings remained but they were overshadowed by your pain. It felt like your heart was ripped from your chest. 
The trust, kindness, his affections for you, were they all just something to be exploited in a bigger plot. He said at first he was using the Nein but he grew attached so had you just been a pawn in a bigger ploy he felt sorry for? So many questions you had asked yourself over the last weeks, months even at this point and none of them you dared to answer so you didn’t. You pushed them aside and moved on. You pushed Essek out of your mind because it was easier than dealing with the pain. Pushing something away only works for so long. He’d come back into your life sooner rather than later. Aeor came closer in view and after the absolute shit show with the Tombtakers all of you were at your wits end. You didn’t want to pull anyone along into this chaos and especially not a certain wizard who’s proven himself to be prone to his desires for pursuit of knowledge and power; a thing you’d be serving on a silver platter but you really had no better options at this point.
The closer to your destination you got the more closed off you became. Face devoid of emotion and voice monotone, direct and without a single break you’d begun to mentally prepare yourself for your upcoming encounter to the point where you were seriously considering you might actually prefer another encounter with the Tombtakers over facing Essek. Your gradual shift in behaviour must have caught some attention as you quickly had a Jester at your side attempting to make happy conversation and lift your spirit and provide distraction. You tried to play along but the pitying smile from Caleb told you about how good a job you were doing. Nevermind the tiefling never quit and you could appreciate that. Jester cares and you were hurting so she did whatever she could to make it better. 
You eventually made it to the outpost and your ‘official’ mode kicked in taking over for Beau when she started butchering Undercommon. You presented yourself with an air of authority and purpose and that seemed to do the job very well. And there he was in all his miserable glory putting on a similar face as yours. He was caught off guard by Jester running in and hugging him and while he looked at you his eyes quickly avoided. Even though the conversations that followed you had no problem looking at him, sure he could feel your eyes burning but your gaze remained cold and distant; the way he had seen you face an enemy and the way you study when in company you don’t trust, watching the danger like a hawk for every single twitch. In this conversation it was very clear he had a hard time keeping eye contact but he was straight up avoiding both you and Caleb and you could put two and two together; shame. He was ashamed of everything he did and caused that much was sure. 
In a more private setting without the continuous presence of Dynasty soldiers the Nein told him everything that had occurred the past few weeks and slowly but surely his facade faltered, the gravity of the situation kicking in and him contemplating, taking in all the information you provided. You didn’t speak to him directly and only gave your input when it came to queries among the Nein having nothing to add directed at Essek. 
“I’ve spent so much of my life focussed on myself, my climb, all of my selfish needs. I’ve never really been trusted and so I did not trust. And I never let anyone close. I have been clouded in my judgement many times for a lot of my life. When I- when you gave me trust, it gave me a perspective that was so agonisingly striking. So easy to see that I refused to acknowledge it at first, even. I would be lying if I said that our paths crossing hasn’t shaken me to the core and I’m appreciative and thankful for this perspective, but you do not owe me trust for what I’ve done.” Those words hit hard and you found yourself biting down on your lip to prevent yourself from speaking. All the feelings you tried to push away so hard came back up and you were fighting to hold them at bay to prevent yourself from saying something you’d regret. Luckily the others jumped in allowing you to keep your silence. 
The conversation continued and Caleb made some good points making sure to make eye contact with you every so often to make sure you were alright and in agreement. You were interrupted after the mentions of Dagen and some shouting outside. You’d say you were surprised but really you weren’t though the sight of the man holding onto one of the Aurora Watch soldiers while presenting the letter he was told to deliver was quite the sight and made you quickly cover up a snort. Not quick enough apparently as some did catch on. Eventually back inside Jester began to insinuate Caleb should show the red eyes on his skin but you quickly shut that down, the first words you had spoken since you got here.
“What are we talking about?” Essek asks confused. 
“Nothing you need concern yourself with.” Your words were colder than you intended but got the message across clear it seemed. They quickly shifted the subject back to Lucien, Aeor, the Somnovum, Vess being indisposed, gathering further allies until you landed on possibly considering bringing Astrid and Eadwulf into this opposed to Trent himself it was revealed or more like confirmed Essek had had dealings with the man in the past, persuading you all not to go to the Assembly. And because Veth slipped up you had to come clean about Vess’ actual state; dead in the hands of Lucien who killed her without as much as the blink of an eye. You were very much aware he was on the brink of a mental breakdown and you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. 
Hot cocoa was passed around and you did not refuse Beau’s offer of a good pour of whiskey while the conversation continued in regards to the Beacons and some choice of words and theories around the Beacons that could be considered sacrilege among the Dynasty. You were planning out the delve into the ruins Essek suggesting it would be best to go your separate ways until you were ready to traverse Aeor. The conversation ends and you are about to go your separate ways bedding down for the night until you would travel to gather allies and supplies. Caleb stays at your side aware of how you’re handling things but he stops with you before you leave catching Essek by the forearm. 
“Breathe. Just.. breathe that fresh air mindful of the people about. Time. Time. Not weeks. Not years. It takes time.” He was speaking to Essek but you knew the words were directed at you as well. For the first time you deliberately meet eyes looking over your shoulder as you join the rest of the Nein. You were lead to a reasonably sized room, small for all of you but much more preferable to the ice and snow outside. You take time to settle down and eventually sit down with Beau and Caleb.
“I don’t trust any of this.” You tell them hugging your knees to your chest. 
“I’m with you. It’s just too much. Too many risks. To many cards not yet in play that could shake this whole game up.” Beau agrees. 
“But we have to make a choice and Essek is our safest and most certain bet. Every option is risky.”  Caleb has a point and it’s one you’ve been using to justify and be at peace with all of this. 
“I’m afraid that he’s going to realise the pressure is too much and he’ll bolt. Or the Assembly catches up to him before we get back and they’ll rat him out but my biggest concern right now is for the Tombtakers to travel faster than we’re expecting. What if they get here? Our advantage will be gone.” The rest of the Nein having turned into the conversation had to agree with you there. If your or Essek’s enemies somehow got involved you’d be screwed. 
“You got a point. So how do we solve this? Essek said it’s best to go our separate ways until we got our stuff sorted so we can’t really stick around and we’d still be traceable if we split up. It’s a risk we’ll have to take as it’s the safest for both of us now.” Beau contemplates trying to formulate a better plan. You already had a plan and you didn’t like it for one minute but it was all you got.
“I know how we solve this. You give me the amulet and I stay behind. That way they can’t scry on me as long as I’m here. They can scry on us when we’re together anyway and with only one amulet we’re not going to get very far. You gather everything we need, get whatever help we can get and come back here when you’re ready to leave.” You can hardly believe your own mind could make the decision regardless of your personal opinions. 
“And you’re okay staying behind with Essek to keep an eye on him? What if Lucien and his gang shows up?” 
“Beau, I’ll manage. My personal feelings don’t matter in the bigger picture for now. I can get over myself. As for the Tombtakers, Essek’s gonna be a fat load of good when he can’t use his magic. If they get here before you return I’ll get him out of here and to Aeor myself if I have to. Can’t defeat them but I sure as hell can outrun them for a while.” You assured them, a couple of nods and attempts to protest eventually resulted in the agreement. You’d stay behind. One final rest and everyone would be finishing their unfinished business, say their goodbyes and hellos, get their closure and prepare for the worst. Yet you couldn’t see yourself anywhere but here. Sure you wanted to be there for your friends but they could do without you. You were needed here so maybe your own unfinished business had to conclude right here where you are. 
You said your goodbyes and the Nein were off leaving you alone in the makeshift chamber. You inhale deeply and exhale slowly counting to ten in your head and leave the room. The back of your mind tells you this was a mistake and you definitely couldn’t do this but there’s no way back now so you put on your brave face and make your way to Essek’s chambers. In front of the door you wait, count to ten again and put on your brave face before you knock on the door. The door swings open.
“Y/n. I was not expecting to see you. Please come in.” He speaks glancing around you for any of the guard that could possibly hear him. The moment you force yourself to enter the door closes behind you and you can see him deflate just a little, all manner of composure dropping for a moment before he looks up at you from behind his desk. Up front he may appear composed once more but his eyes tell a different story. Panic, surprise, questions, fear and shame. 
“Have you come to say goodbye?” A slight break of his voice at the last word. Oh Essek you really dropped the ball haven’t you, you think to yourself. 
“No actually. I came to tell you the others have left and I’ll be staying behind.” He goes to protest getting up from his seat. Fear, concern and something you can’t identify peak through. 
“So unless you’re planning to take me to wherever they have gone yourself resulting in you having to get back here with all the potential risks you’ve priorly described, I’m staying here and there’s nothing you can do about it so suck it up, darling.” You mentally kick yourself for using that last word. You didn’t mean to but you slipped up falling back in old habits. 
“You’re putting yourself at great risk by staying here so please let me take you back to the others.” He comes closer to you and you stay your ground. 
“Sorry. Not going to happen, Essek. I’m staying. I can’t be scried upon so I’ll be fine.” 
“There’s many more dangers than the risk of being scried upon.” 
“Which ones would you be referring to? The assassins after you? Or maybe the risk of you being discovered? The person who sent the assassins getting antsy and exposing you to the Dynasty?Being a traitor to your nation and a catalyst in a bigger plot you have no control over? The Tombtakers and their shenanigans? Literally anything to do with Aeor? The alleged death and or plotting of the demise of extremely powerful mages? Keeping secrets and being prepared to find or create a scapegoat to cover up the fact that the peace agreement between two nations which is already hanging by a single thread was based on the lies and deceit of another? Or perhaps it’s your uncanny ability to pursuit the path to your own destruction and your terrible sense of judgement and eye for consequences? Oh or maybe the fact that if we don’t stop all of this the world like we know it will possibly come to an end and we’ll could just end up dealing with yet another Calamity scale event? Take your pick because I’m pretty sure I’m already involved in what? All of them? But please be my guest and pick one!” You lost all composure you had but the more you talk the more you realise you couldn’t keep all of this pent up. It does you no good. 
“My apologies. I won’t ask for your forgiveness as-“ You cut him off. You’re on a roll so you’re gonna get this over with while you’re at it; speak your mind openly without restrained.
“Yet you still have it! For some stupid reason I find it within myself to forgive you for all horrible thing you’ve done but the one; I can’t seem to get over the fact you betrayed my trust. That you didn’t trust me when it mattered and that I was nothing but a pawn in your game and you discarded the trust I put in you so easily.” You can feel your voice crack multiple times throughout your words and you curse yourself for doing so. Essek looks at his feet lips tightly pushed together. 
“Perhaps my expectations were too high.” You spat about to storm out of the room but the door remained closed.
“Essek let me go.” You glared at him. He couldn’t even give you that? A departure with dignity before you broke down?
“You’ve said your part I think it’s only fair I say mine. Though if you wish to leave I won’t hold you here. You’re free to set foot where you please. I know I have no right to but I ask only a moment.” You brace yourself already mentally kicking yourself for coming to this decision so quickly and not even being able to tell yourself why you shouldn’t.
“Fine. I’ll hear what you have to say.” You cross your arms and take a few steps back in his direction.
“From the moment I’ve met you I’ve been captivated by you but I simply couldn’t get over myself and admit to myself that maybe what I’m doing isn’t worth the collateral. You made me feel guilt and regret but I pushed that aside because I there was no way back from what I had already set into motion. I meant what i said, I have grown attached to your little group and I would even go as far as to call them friends something I haven’t been able to call anyone. Not truly without ulterior motives. But you’ve always been something more. I know I will repent for my sins but I will not drag you down that path with me. I love you too much to allow that to happen. So I beg of you, do not put yourself at risk for my sake.” Finally he looks at you without looking away or avoiding your direct gaze. 
“I refuse to let you become collateral in my actions. No matter how much I want you at my side I know you simply cannot be and I have come to accept that. Please grant me the dignity of excluding you from my own demise.” 
“What you want and what you get are two very different things Essek.” You definitely heard the proclamation of love but it was said in the heat of the moment so you let it go for now choosing to ignore it. 
“Believe me I am very much aware. Just as I am aware I have ruined what we had and perhaps even the chance of one day earning your love should you ever give it to me. While I may wish I could change the past I would never change meeting you and the moments we shared. The mere thought of your smile makes me feel a fraction of your warmth in this cold wasteland and I could die a happy man should it be the last thing I see. I believe my worst fear to have come true when it became clear I may never see that smile of yours again. I cannot deny my feelings for you so I won’t and I will assure you I am honest and open when I say that I love you. I’d rather say it now before we both walk into our deaths when we set foot in those ruins.”
“I know I have no right to and I will admit I am a selfish man when I hope you will at least tell me that you might have shared my feelings were the circumstances different.” His feet touch the ground and he studies you for any response but finds none. 
“You are a fool. Hopeless. You are selfish and hardly ever look out for anyone but yourself. You would betray anyone if it were to further your own interests or save your own hide. You’d sacrifice anything and anyone to get what you want, price be damned.” You begin stepping closer to him and you can see him break just a little on the inside.
“That’s what I want to believe but I simply can’t. My own mind argues against all the things it reasonably tries to claim you to be. Yes you are a fool but you are also one of the cleverest and most intriguing people I’ve ever met. You’re not hopeless. You are selfish but your selfishness knows boundaries as displayed by your guilt and regret and shame. You would betray anyone but only if it meant you it allowed you to save what you care about and you’d sacrifice anything and everything to protect it. But I still wonder. Was it worth it? Making the choices you did was it worth putting yourself in this place?” 
“No. Most of the results while desired were not worth the cost.” Again the guilt and shame rises. 
“Then you have learned. So I will give you what you need; my honestly. We both know that these flirtations we’ve had are more than just that. Back then I could have seen a future where you and I could have had something beautiful but I will also admit I have not seen the same thing ever since our last meeting. I do not see a future not because my feelings for you have disappeared but simply because it is unpredictable. It’s fickle much like the Dunamancy you study. And that’s exactly how a future should be, right? Uncertain and unpredictable. What we’re walking into is just that. So if we do make it out alive I’m sure that future will be much clearer once we’re no longer on the brink of destruction.” You step up close enough and put a hand on his cheek making him look you in the eye.
“I don’t understand.” He begins.
“Let me spell it out for you.” You move your lips closer to his and when he doesn’t pull away you place your lips on his in a chaste kiss. 
“Do you get it now?” You say as you pull apart. 
“I think I may need another explanation to make sure I caught that right.” He stumbles a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks so you oblige and kiss him again. 
“I love you.” You say leaning your forehead against his. 
“I love you too.” Both of you laugh taking in the craziness of the situation. You went from being upset to arguing to honesty and a confession of love. This truly must be something recorded in some romance novel in Jester’s collection. Ridiculous but true.
“You may be a fool Essek Thelyss, but you are my fool and don’t you forget.” 
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khaleesiofalicante · 3 years
Note
Hey! I hope you're doing great Dani.
I talked to you about a month or two ago, about how I was about to take the university entrance exam, how I was not ready for it, that my parents wanted me to become a doctor but never knew what I was going through. That I was confused and I didn't know what I wanted to do, cause I thought I wouldn't enjoy medicine even if I get in. I literally didn't know what I wanted to do with my life.
You were kind enough to answer me patiently, and for that I'm really thankful to you. I came here to say, your words, helped me to get through a tough time.
I told you I didn't know what I wanted to do. And because I didn't have a purpose, I could put all of my efforts into studying. I was always a good student, but recently, it was like I had lost myself through the road.
I thought about your words, and recently came to conclusion that you were right. This is me. This is my life. And this is all I have right now. I was so stressed, because I didn't know what I wanted, but I know now, and it means even if I can't do as well as I should at the entrance exam, I can always find other ways, or try again and understood that I love law. And being a lawyer. When I was 4 years younger, I told this to my parents, but they simply said it was because of the books I read and not because it was what I really wanted. Cause obviously, being a doctor should be what I wanted. And I believed them.
It may seem stupid, or may not, but books always helped me. And reading your IWFY fic, it was like my love for law and being a lawyer came back to me. I thought you should know how great your writing is. I understood what Magnus wanted to do was what I always wanted to do at heart. And yeah, maybe it IS a fantasy, and I can't be as good as him or have an Alec with me who helps me through everything, but I guess I'm willing to try. Cause I want to fight for women rights, help the innocent win what is their rights. I want to make a change. It's ideologist, I know, but I guess I would regret it if I don't follow my dreams today.
I kinda found out about all of a little late, you know? If I had found out about what I truly wanted sooner, I could find my purpose sooner and focus on my studying better. But I'm not upset. I'm still just 18 and have a lot of time. And it's always better to face the reality, however late, than to live a lie.
So regardless of the result of my entrance exam for medicine schools, I WILL follow studying law, it what I want. I know it now. But at the same time, I've always wanted my parents proud, I told you about it before. You told me I don't owe anyone, not even them. But I guess I can't change everything that I've been taught from the beginning in a short time, so, maybe one day, I get there.
For now, their opinion still matters, so I'm gonna do all I have for the exam- which is next week btw- and if I got accepted, I will be studying both of them. I asked around and they told me it's possible so I'm not gonna sit down and let it go! I will study both of them till the day I decide which is more important to me, but I guess they won't come for a long time.
Finding out my interest in law, was like finding out a missing puzzle. I've always been told I was never hardworking enough for achieving my dreams. That everything I got was because I was lucky enough to have a smart brain. But now I understood I was never hardworking enough, because they were not MY dreams. They were other's dreams for me. And I get it, doctors mostly have a good life, and that's what my parents want for me. But I know what I need to be happy, and that's a purpose. And now I found it, and it was an amazing feeling. To think that, yes, this is it. I have found what I've always wanted to do with my life.
So, sorry again for my LONG rant, but I thought you deserve to know how much of a help you have been to someone you don't even know. And it shows how much amazing your words are. You're so kind, please never change!
And please, thanks @magnus-the-maqnificent in my behalf, she offered to speak to after my last comment, she said she was in the same situation, but I was so lost that I didn't really have the heart to do it. And now I'm kind of busy because of the next week exam, but I want her to know I really appreciate her kindness, thank you all.
PS. When I become a lawyer one day, I'm gonna print your IWFY book, and keep it in my office. Cause it means a lot to me. Thank you again! Have a great day!!!
I am so so so proud of you. I literally don't have the words to tell you how proud of you I am.
You are in the right path, my love. You have got your shit under control. And that is fucking amazing. So proud!
I get that there are many hurdles to cross. But you know who you are, even if others don't and other's might not understand. But you know it. I feel like that solves half the problems. The clarity helps. It helps so much. I am so glad you have it now.
It is NOT late for you. I work as an gender and sexuality advocate now. But I had no fucking clue that's what I wanted to do until I was 19 years old. But I figured it out and then followed that dream.
Every day I learn a little more about myself and the dreams I have keep changing. It's a not bad thing. It's a part of being human. Wanting better things and wanting to change is what we do as human beings.
It's never late to pursue the things that make you happy. Remember that. Always.
I know you want to make your make your parents proud. I do so too. Sometimes I feel like it's a biological need that we have. The need for their validation? The need to make them proud?
But remember that pride is a feeling. You can give them that feeling in more than one way. If you want to make them proud, make them proud. That's a good thing. But just remember that being a doctor is not the only way to do that. What they want is success and there is more than one way to be successful.
If this is your destiny, I wish you all the best with it. Gender law/discrimiantion law/women's law is one of the best fields out there. If you need help with this (since I work in a similar background) you know where to find me.
I know you are a good student and you will do amazingly. But take it easy. You don't have to decide now. You don't have to figure out which path you want to follow right away. I think it's very sensible of you to test both and make your decision later. Just don't push yourself too hard. Always go easy on yourself, cause no one else will make it a priority.
Finally.
Oh, my love. My heart is so full that IWFY Magnus helped you so much. He is such a beautiful man - just like Magnus in any universe. He has inspired me so many times. I've always been inspired by his kindness, his need to do better and be better.
He doesn't settle. Not for Alec. Not for anyone. Magnus knows his worth.
That's what I want for myself. To know my worth.
And that's what I want for you too.
I don't what you are going to decide or what you are going to do. But I know one thing.
You might not know whether you want to be a lawyer or a doctor.
But it is so clear to me that you want to use your knowledge, your strength and your skills to help those around you.
You want to be useful. You want to make the world a little better. Just like Magnus does. Just like I do.
Here is the thing - there is no right way to do that. You do what you can and hope it makes the world a little better.
There is a different between what you are and who you are.
What you are - whether a doctor or a lawyer - can change with time.
But who are you doesn't change.
And who you are is a good fucking person.
Good luck with your exams.
Sending you all my love,
Dani x.
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the-acid-pear · 3 years
Text
I didn't want to but my last post got so long Tumblr can't load it AFSGSGAHH so this is my second post bc liveblogging this manga is part of my personality now <3
From where i left,
I love seeing Shibukawa i hate knowing how that fight will go down tho </3
JACKKKK 🥺
Oh is that literally Andre the giant?
MOTOBEEEE 💞
THAT'S RETSU?! GOD I DIDN'T RECOGNIZE HIM AT ALL I-
KUREHA IS BACK TOO NICE
Katou baby you won't last
YESSSSSSSS YES YES YES MY SON.
Yeah and uh, Katsumi whatever.
BABYYYYYYYYY BOYYYYYYYYYY
Poor Kozue on god pugoygpgu
Toba 🥺
Kozue like 😨
Chapter 186
You don't know but like 2 days passed and i actually forgot what was happening VÑVPJOYG
I just remembered that scene in the fairy odd parents movie where the crowd goes OHHH AHHH
WHAT NUT?
I don't want to simp so early in the morning but UGHHH look at him!!
Hey has Baki always been doing the yujiro stand or is this new?
Feel you Mr Andre the giant i too have been told to not use my full strength. Though I'm just 1.60, my power comes from my anger issues and my god given right to kick ass
That's one strong kick
Rip the crowd n Andre the giant
Chapter 187
I don't think that's true Baki boy
That's a big number sir
I really don't care about this fight much at all surudtidkgxkhkdgksr
Poor Kozue man
Okay no apparently all cis men on the comments did want to become the string ???? Get help /j
Chapter 188
This is prob cool if you know who these people are. I unfortunately don't.
Look of bloodlust? He looks like the average fuckboy
YESSS BABEY LET'S GOOO THE GLASSES ARE BACKKK
Me watching the anime: omg that's so random why is he wearing glasses out of nowhere lol?
Me now (my brain is bigger): WOOOOOOOOO
I'm still obsessed with Toba's size
IFYOYDITDPUGPJG
Okay i had to google who igari was bc i wasn't recognizing him, now I'm cheering on him
This is gonna be a good one, hopefully
That was murder
DOPPO POG DOPPO POG-
Chapter 189
Hehehe this title sounds promising 👀
KSJSKSHSJS BRO 🥺
I really can't tell if he's scared of confident, i HOPE he's confident like, he's my pollo afteral (i make that joke in Spanish bc idk how to do it in English 😭)
Nice feet (See? No one can accuse me of having a foot fetish because no one reads these haha!)
I'm not gonna simp for 3 lines straight but i can't just pass this without saying how much i love how Doppo looks in this arc my man looking more precious than usual 😌🥺💞
Shout-out to the ppl in the comments wishing Motobe a happy bday <33
Chapter 190
These men just LOVE breaking fingers don't they?
It was a pleasure knowing you Motobe-san
I must say Doppo first watching the fights with Katou now with his son is like, super damn sweet like this dude is just such a Dad™
Sumo is such a damn cool sport tbh, i watched like one documentary on it once and nothing else but it's just like damn
NOOOUGHHH
MOTOBE IS FUCKING DEAD.
Lshekwhwksgskd someone was mentioning how they make Motobe sound like a badass but he loses every time and someone just responded "He's 50", which is similar to the justification i tried to give myself whenever Doppo kept fucking losing but then you have mfs like Shibukawa who is 70 and is just mad powerful KSVSNSH 😔
Chapter 191
Hehe the king ☺️
THAT WAS SO RANDOM AJGSJSGEJSG i love this mf
FUCK HOW SHORT IS RETSU OMG 🥺
1.76 HE'S SO TINY HE'S SHORTED THAN DOPPO OMFG
also if y'all wonder how I'm doing my jaw is currently trembling and i think i have a fever, but it's fine, we getting to 200 today boys
I really don't care much about Katsumi but he has a very shaped face i won't lie, his eyes are very pretty too. STILL DONT CARE BOUT HIM 🙄😒
They just throwing hands these mfs ffs
Katsumi that's a bit too far don't you think?
A fuckin pussy out sort of luck i see
Chapter 192
I hate smooth Retsu sm let him keeps his face wrinkles ffs
Obsessed with these lads
ANDRE MY MAN look at him
EVERYBODY IS GETTING IN THE WAY FR SPUGPYDOTSÑD
I love how these characters say <3
Fucked up to beat up a wounded man tho NGL :/
OH FUCK HIS ELBOW NO
Chapter 193
Idk man after 180+ chapters Retsu's body doesn't look that wild to me
I know he will lose bc uh, Retsu obviously? But man i really like this Russian
Kozue that's how every match is
Hhhh 😬
He's dead.
Chapter 194
OH MY GOD HIM AGAIN?! HHH FFS!!!
VAMOOOS KATOU
Hey they aren't doing the white lips thing anymore that's sick
Motobe Latino /j
OYFPUTDPUTDPUTDPID
NO MY MAN KATOU IS NO MATCH TO YUJIRO NO ONE IS NOOO 😢
Chapter 195
Monkee
MY BOY BAKI GETTING THAT GOOD OL FLASHBACK HUH BAKI PTSD MOMENCE
YEET
Chapter 196
LSHLSHEKEBSJSHSVS IM LOSING IT
Look at the cocky mf man sjsgdhd
I must say i love the progression of Baki's personality
ANDOOOO
Chapter 197
Katsumi is deranged
My health problems are solved btw
I honestly hope Katsumi wins, for the honor of shinshinkai exclusively
Doppo looks so proud of his son 🥺
These mfs so childish ffs
...how is he that small 😭
I really don't understand any of these people
Chapter 198
I love seeing Toba just around doing shit like yeah king you go. My nostalgia enjoys his presence
Toba king i don't want to see you on a wheelchair please-
Toba baby you are going to die and horrible death and i will hate to be the witness of it
LSHSJSHSKHWKSHS ???
He's dead 😔
SHOUT-OUT TO THE FUCKING ASSHOLE WHO COMPARED TOBA TO THE TERRAFORMARS ROACHES 😭😭💀
Chapter 199
Igari right? He's dead too. I have less doubt than anyone else, Hanayama is a beast.
THEHWHSHHS 😭 WHY DOES HE HAVE TO OPEN BOTTLES LIKE THAT FFS
Different? Idk man he looks the same to me
Chapter 200
Like it's not just brawling man if anyone the size and strenght of Hanayama did anything they would win no matter what, this mf is a beast
THAT'S SO MEAN THEY WERE SUCH BESTIES OUGH MY HEART 😢💔
I'm sorry, he's gonna get WHAT? 😳
Ndhskshskhdkd obsessed
THESE MEN OMFG.... IM LOSING IT
So glad at least SOMEONE is still a bro 😒
HANAYAMA BRO??? IM BETTING ALL MY MONEY ON YOU BRO PLEASE
Obsessed he didn't even realize
THANKS HANAYAMA PHEW I WAS GETTING WORRIED FOR A SECOND THERE!
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
And that's it for tonight, adiós
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Note
So, I sent you (@disgruntledspacedad) a pretty long ask a while ago (back when you had anon on) and I'm decently sure Tumblr ate it (or maybe you ignored it, in which case, feel free to ignore this one as well). But then I saw one of those "writers appreciate feedback no matter how long" posts, so I'm back here. Here is my mediocre attempt to rewrite my original review of your work. Bear in mind that English is not my first language, so if at any point my phrasing sounds weird to you, you know why. Mandatory disclaimer/apology: this might get a little too long 😅
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
I remember being SO mad at myself for not finding this sooner. I binge read it one afternoon with no thoughts for any real life responsibilities I might have had (and no regrets). Javiears is one hell of an unconventional relationship in the beginning, and I really love what you did with them. The whole premise of your story is quite refreshing, and you somehow manage to convey the trust and mutual respect there two feel for one another without explicitly showing us the beginning of their "entanglement".
Also, fuck you for what you did to poor Emilio, that man was a saint and he deserved better! I honestly can't believe that I got so attached to a character that appeared so little in the story, but it happened, and his death kind of broke my heart.
But the Javiears reunion + mild confession was lovely, and felt completely deserved. And of course the sex scene. I won't lie, I expected a bit better from Javi there, but I did like how utterly /human/ it was. Capturing that humanity, the imperfections in each character is something you're really good at (more on that later).
AFTERSHOCKS
Ah, my emotionally constipated babies who really need to work out their communication issues. I do love them, though. And this short series did a really good job of delving a bit deeper into Ears's and Javi's psyche. Kudos to you for dealing with the medical "aftershocks" of living through an explosion AND using that experience to move your emotional plot forward. These two need to grow a lot before they can get to a stable point in their relationship, and you really manage to convey their insecurity and fear of commitment/intimacy while making it clear that they're in it for the long run and that theirs is a relationship that WILL work out so help them God.
IF I FALL
Ouch. Punch me in the gut while you're at it, why don't you?
But seriously, "If I Fall" is SO FUCKING GOOD. Don't get me wrong, it's angstier than an image of Jesus on the cross (don't judge me, it's Holy Week and I just got home from accompanying my grandma to church), but it somehow works beautifully. You, my dear, play heartstrings like they're a fucking guitar and I AM HERE FOR IT.
You're doing an amazing job at making me feel everything these characters are feeling, which is both awful (bc pain) and impressive.
Also, if anything happens to Ana I will cry, because she is adorable and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.
Also also, if anything happens to Ears I will cry, because she is badass and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.
Also also also, if anything happens to Javi I will cry, because he is loving and wonderful and has suffered way too much already and really deserves a break and some cookies.
Basically, I am really invested in the well-being of these characters and can't wait until they're happy and safe again (please tell me they will be, my heart can't handle much more pain).
A quick note on the angst complaints: yes, this story is way angstier than most other fics out there and it can be a bit too much at times, especially considering how many chapters of pain it's been. BUT it's obvious that "If I Fall" NEEDS this amount of angst to get where it's going, to send the message it wants to and to properly develop its characters. The pain is as important to this story as flour is to bread. You may not like eating flour on its own (I don't think anyone does), but you love bread (because bread is amazing) and you must recognize that bread NEEDS flour to work. It wouldn't be bread otherwise. And eating the flour as part of the bread even makes you like the flour because the bread is just DELICIOUS.
I fully understand and sympathize with the people who have elected to table "If I Fall" until it's completed so they can binge read it knowing there's a happy ending in sight, but in case you're feeling a bit self conscious about all the angst, please know that your story is beautiful not in spite of the pain, but rather /because of it/.
PS: No, I'm not high/drunk, I just really like bread
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Silly thing to comment on, I know, but I do feel like it's important that you know how useful your ANs have been. There are many details in the story that I simply wouldn't fully get without reading your comments at the end of each chapter, and I appreciate your writing a hell of a lot more knowing how deeply you understand and care for each one of your characters. Plus, it is obvious how much work you've put into researching a country and a time period that are (from what I gather) unfamiliar to you, and I really do believe you've done an amazing job of it.
JAVIER PEÑA
My boy. I love your characterization of this complicated character, and I have eagerly read each and every one of your headcanons about him. I can't really say if your version is fully faithful to the source material because it's been a while since I saw Narcos, but your Javi most definitely reads like a real person. He's fairly consistent as a character, and I feel like everything he does is perfectly natural for him to do as a character. He makes for an unconventional yet deeply interesting romantic lead, and so far I have thoroughly enjoyed all his POV chapters/scenes.
OCs
I know you've gotten some flack for making her into an OC halfway into the story, and while I get why the sudden change may have felt like a disappointment for some, I don't share that sentiment. I firmly believe that this fandom is unfairly harsh towards Original Characters and their creators, and I don't really understand why. Listen, I love Reader fics, and consume many Reader fics. I have read dozens, maybe even hundreds, and I can safely say that I've only ever "inserted" myself in approximately 10% of those stories. Reader characters are not as blank as their writers may want them to be. They can't be. They're characters, and character have personalities and moral values and senses of humor and a bunch of other things. Reader characters may not have a backstory or a physical description attached (and even that's not guaranteed), but they're still characters.
And on a more personal note, pretending they're actual blank slates is naive at best and insensitive at worst. Reader characters are American coded 99% of the time, and white coded 95% of the time. Not every readers is white nor American, even if that's the predominant demographic on Tumblr. When I read a JavixReader fic about a woman who speaks exactly zero Spanish, I know she's not me. The story may be beautifully written and have an amazing plot and character development, but the Reader *isn't me*. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that, and some of my favorite xReader stories feature a "reader" who couldn't be more different from me, but it's something that enemies of OC fics should take into account. Particularly if they are white and/or American. But I digress.
HANNAH AARONS
Your character is amazing. She's strong, smart, confident, independent and an all-around badass. She gets kidnapped while pregnant and still focuses on problem solving and survival. But she's also overly guarded and mistrustful, and really needs to work on her communication skills. There are times when I absolutely love her and even admire her, and other times when I want to whack her with a slipper. She's no Mary Sue, but remains interesting and likeable throughout the story. She feels wholly human and real, and that's no easy task. I like her, I am invested in her, and I can't wait to see what's next for her. She's a compelling and three dimensional protagonist in a complex story who never fails to draw me in. I love her. She's your baby, and you should be proud of her.
Also, quick question about personality types: I know you've typed Javi as ESFP and Ears as ENTP (100% agree on both, btw), but have you given any thought to their enneagram types? I personally have always seen Ears as being somewhere on the thinking triad, maybe a 7 or even a 6w7, but I'm not too sure about Javi. 9w8 maybe? He could also be a 6w5 🤔
PARTING THOUGHTS
Basically, I love your story, your characters and your writing in general. You are a fantastic storyteller and wordsmith. You get into the heads of incredibly different characters personality-wise (Ears, Javi, Berna...) and manage to capture all of their complexities and quirks every single time. And it doesn't feel like it's something innate for you either. To me, it seems that you have put a lot of work and effort into understanding each and every one of your characters, who they are, why they do what they do and what they want. And let me tell you, all that effort has been more than worth it. "Better Love" is a fanfic, but it wouldn't be out of place in a regular bookstore, if I'm honest. I don't know what you do for a living or if you've ever considered writing professionally, but you clearly have the skills and the drive to create some masterpieces.
You are amazing and your writing is a gift. Thank you for sharing it with us, and have a nice day! ~ 🍪
~
My friend, I apologize for hoarding your first ask. I’ve been sitting on it because I’m not gonna lie, I enjoy going back and rereading it. It gave me a lot of comfort when I was in a pretty dark place, both personally and in regards to my writing, and I was reluctant to send it out into the the abyss of Tumblr where I might never see it again. 
That’s not fair, though. You put just as much effort into sending me that review as I put into my writing, and I apologize for never responding to you.
Okay, anyway, so twice now, you’ve made me cry. In a good way, I promise! 
I absolutely love your bread/flour metaphor. It made perfect sense. I want the emotional release of Javi and Hannah’s reunion to be earned, and in order to do that, the angst has to come first (there are also a few plot “ingredients” that have yet to make their appearances). Thank you very much for understanding that, and for voicing it so eloquently.
I appreciate your comments on my research and characterization. You’re correct that I’ve put a lot of time and effort into crafting a universe. In a lot of ways, I’m doing my best to stay true to the source material (regarding culture and timelines in particular), and in others, I’m branching into my own territory. 
On that note, I’ve never once regretted fully embracing Hannah Aarons’ identity as an OC. She’s stayed consistent in my mind from the beginning, and it was a relief to finally share my vision of her with the audience. And for the record, I totally agree with you regarding “reader” characters. Every reader insert echoes the perspective of their author, no matter how vague the physical description. I can only imagine how grating that must be from the perspective of a non-white, non-american reader. Thank you so much for sharing your insight! I will certainly keep it in mind the next time I write a “reader insert” fic.
Okay, enneagrams! I am much less familiar with enneagram than I am MBTI, but I agree 110% that Javi is a 9 with a strong 8 wing. I waffled back and forth on Ears a little, but eventually landed on 8w7 for her. It came down to the eight’s deepest fear, which is being controlled. That’s Ears all over, and the fact that she and Javi share that eight willfulness means that they might butt heads a little, which also seems very appropriate for them. Big thanks to @remusstark for her insight into the eight frame of mind - our conversations helped solidify my decision on this. :)
Anyway, I’m just rambling now. The big take-away point that I want you to get is that I am so, so grateful to you, both for your insightful feedback and your dedication in making sure that I actually saw it. You are an absolute gem and a deep thinker, Cookie-Anon, and if you ever feel like sliding into my DM’s, I’d welcome the opportunity to get to know you better.
Mad love and soft hugs, 
~ Jay
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alixanonymous · 4 years
Text
How A Demon Commissions An Angel ~ A Daminette FanFic ~ Chapter 4: A Plan In Progress
Date: November 3, 2021 5:00 P.M.
Subject: I Accept Your Terms
Dear Ms. Dupain-Cheng,
I do not delude myself into thinking we will be able to magically solve each other’s problems but it does seem as though we both lack certain qualities the other does not. If you’re offering the chance for me to stay where I am, I would be a fool not to take it and I am not a fool. If I can also help fix your unfortunate situation, I will do so. 
Let me know where we go from here.
- Damian W.
From the phone of Marinette Dupain-Cheng:
The Ladyblog 
A Retraction Of An Earlier Article Nov 4 2021 
I’ve decided to take down an earlier article entitled “MDC Stole My Best Friend’s Designs!” following contact from the legal team of Jagged Stone. It was wrong of me to make accusations without proof and I will endeavor to provide evidence to back any claims I make on this blog in the future.
- Alya Cesaire, Creator of the Ladyblog
Chat Name: Aunt Penny
Aunt Penny: Are you sure you don’t want us to pursue any further action Marinette? That statement hardly seemed sincere and was not nearly sufficient considering all she’s claimed. We can help you know.
Me: It’s fine Aunt Penny. Anything else wouldn’t be worth the trouble. It’s not her fault anyway.
Aunt Penny: You know I don’t agree with that but okay, if you’re sure. Just remember the lawsuits have already been drafted.
Aunt Penny: By the way, Jagged’s suit was a real hit at the charity dinner. Not that we ever had a doubt. Have you been thinking about creating a new website?
Me: That’s great to hear. I’ll think about it, okay?
Aunt Penny: That’s good.
Chat Name: Alya
Alya: Girl, I know what you’re thinking but just because I had to post that statement doesn’t mean Lila’s lying. She just can’t release any proof because she wants to do the right thing and keep MDC’s identity a secret. She’s being the bigger person!
Me: She always is.
Alya: Don’t be like that! Please Marinette. Stop letting your jealousy cloud your judgement.
Chat Name: Uncle Jagged
Uncle Jagged: Pens told me that you dont want to sue i get it, lawsuits are totally not rock n’ roll but feeding that liar and her friends to fang is always an option!!!
Me: No, Uncle Jagged.
Uncle Jagged: fine…
Uncle Jagged: i got so much applause for your suit at the stuffy dinner btw.
Uncle Jagged: of course I told them all that my talented young niece made it.
Uncle Jagged: even had a billionaire’s son begging for a referral but dont worry i turned him down for you 
Me: What?! Why?!
Uncle Jagged: trust me, Mari, he was totally not rock n’ roll. not rock n’ roll at all! just rude
Chat Name: Adrien
Adrien: Hey Marinette, did you see the apology on the Ladyblog?
Me: You mean the retraction?
Adrien: Well, yes. 
Adrien: Look, Marinette, you’re not going to do anything else right? She took it down.
Me: She took it down because “she had no proof” not because she knows Lila lied. She’s still convinced even after Jagged’s legal team got involved although we both know the truth.
Adrien: I'm sorry.
Adrien: Even my father feels bad, he knows how much rumors like that could damage an artist’s reputation especially without proof.
Adrien: But he’s still convinced Lila’s someone I need to associate with and if you try to expose her again it’s going to be like every other time and I don’t want things to get worse for you.
Adrien: I’m sorry Mari.
Adrien: I just can’t help you while my father’s still on her side.
Google Search History: 
Gotham Charity Dinner 2021 Photos
Patricide but for uncles
What is it called when someone kills their uncle?
How to know if a friendship is toxic
Date:November 5, 2021  5:05 P.M.
Subject: The Plan
Hey Damian!
Sorry for the delay in responding. I don’t know if you saw but MDC had a bit of a problem to deal with yesterday. So here’s how I see it. Our plan has two parts: the commission for your brothers and then us trying to help each other out with our people problems.
For the commission: You already gave me the measurements which I’m trusting are up to standard since I’m not flying to America any time soon. Next I need to know exactly what you want me to make for each of your brothers: Grayson, Todd, and Drake, the measurements say are their names right? Then I need to know who you think wants a sweater and who wants a jacket and your ideas for the design. I’ll draw up some designs based on the information and send them to you for approval with an estimate of the cost. (Normally I’d also send a non-disclosure agreement beforehand too but considering how this all started I’m guessing you’re not going to give me your real name for the paperwork, are you?) After they’re approved I’ll need you to deposit half the sum in my account (Information attached) and I’ll use it to buy the materials.
If I can get all of this done in the next week or so, it should leave me about a month to finish the pieces before sending them out (An address will not be optional fyi). Sounds good??
For the other part of our plan: the way I could see it going is when one of us has a problem we could use the other person for sort of a different perspective. It’s like in those cartoons when the character has those two little people on their shoulders, do you know what I’m talking about? One’s good, the other’s bad and they’re both telling the person to do different things. Not that you’re bad I mean and not that I just assumed that of the two of us you’d be the bad one…  I’m not saying any of this right. I just mean it like I said before, I could learn a thing or time from someone who isn’t too concerned with pleasing everybody. (I didn’t mean that as an insult by the way. I actually find it kind of admirable.)
So, here’s an example of a situation I could use your opinion on: today I started to wonder if one of my friendships is no longer healthy anymore. I have this friend who is the only other person in our class that knows Lila’s lying. At first he convinced me that her lies weren’t hurting anybody and that as long as we both knew the truth then it didn’t matter what anybody else thought. Eventually, we both realized that that was no longer the case when she almost got me expelled, but by then she had convinced his father that I was a bad influence on him. So now he’s forced to play nice and keep her happy to please his father.
It’s hard because even though I know he knows she’s lying, he can’t tell anyone else so no one believes me when I try to tell them. Now she’s made good on her promise to turn everyone against me and so I have to deal with all her antics by myself while she stands by his side with the rest of the class. I know he’s in a bad position but it still doesn’t make me feel better when he texts me asking if I’m okay after  something happens while at the same time whenever we’re with other people, he keeps his distance so she doesn’t report him to his father.
I guess I’m just tired of trying to make him feel better all the time. However, whenever I think about ending our friendship, I feel guilty because it’s really not his fault. His father wouldn’t hesitate to pull him from school and then we couldn’t be friends anyway. I feel like a good friend would stick by his side. I don’t know. What do you think, Damian? 
I guess that’s just how I see this going then. I rant about whatever I’m having to deal with and you tell me if you agree with how I’m handling it and vice versa. You mention some type of incident with a classmate right? Do you want an outside opinion of that or has your family’s sufficed? Or is there anything else you could use some advice on? I guess we’re just making this up as we go. I mean I suppose there aren’t any rules about relationships that started with one person trying to blackmail the other, right? :P
Hope to hear from you soon! Love,
Marinette
P.S. If this is going to work, you can’t just ignore me when I call you out on being (for lack of a better word) snobbish, Mr. Postscript.
Hello, it’s me again. I just spent like an hour working on chapter nine so my headache’s making itself know again but I wanted to at least post a chapter today. Thank you to anyone who’s been reblogging, liking, or replying to these! It makes the unenjoyable task of reposting worth it! More chapters soon!
Master List
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blarfkey · 4 years
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Zev/Ellana “Shh. You better be quiet if you don’t want to get caught.” Rated E
For @sharkapologists
BTW I having a lot of fun practicing smut with these promps, haha.
At first it looks so innocent. Barely bigger than her thumb and dark red, Ellana doesn't even know what the hell it is.
"This is my present?" she asks dubiously.
"Don't look so disappointed, mi amor. We are going to have a lot of fun with it."
"Okay, great. But what is it?"
"Oh, your innocence never fails to delight me. Here. Let me demonstrate."
He takes the device from her and cups it in his hand. It's so small that it disappears entirely behind his fingers. Then he cups her between her legs.
Nothing happens.
"Wow," Ellana drawls out.
Zevran chuckles against her neck. "Give me a moment."
He pulls out his phone with his other hand, opening up a harmless looking app with a button and then --
Out of nowhere the thing starts buzzing right against her clit, sending an immediate shock wave of pleasure, even though her jeans.
“Fuck!"
Ellana scrabbles for purchase against his shoulders, her hips jerking up against his hand. Zevran chuckles again, pressing kisses down her neck while she grinds against his hand, rapidly turning into a needy, hot mess. The sensation, so new and so different and so intense, makes her come embarrassingly fast and embarrassingly loud.
"Did you enjoy that, carina?" Zevran switches the device off and pulls his hand away. "Your blush is redder than it is."
Ellana's still trying to catch her breath, her chest pounding. "What the fuck is that?"
Zevran places the device in her hand with an unbearable smirk. It's warm.
"It's a vibrator," he says. "Except this one is very special."
A vibrator. Ellana looks down. She's heard of them, but she's never actually seen one. It doesn’t look like much but damn does it pack a punch.
"How so?"
"Because it's designed to fit discretely in your underwear and it's controlled remotely by my phone. The range is incredible."
Zevran gives her an unbearable smirk before leaning in. "You are going to have to learn to be quieter, Ellana, because I am going to be making you cum all day tomorrow," he adds against her ear.
Zevran lied. That fucking bastard has not been making her cum all day. He's been making almost cum all day, but just when she gets close, the vibrations will stop. How the fuck does he know?
He also didn't tell her that the vibrator comes with different settings. In addition to the steady buzzing that gotten her off so quickly last night, there's a soft fluttering pulse that does nothing but tease her, a sharp, staccato that makes her jump in her seat, and heart beat pulse that makes her see stars and never lasts more than a few seconds at a time because he hates her.
The worst part is that she has no idea when it will activate. She can sit through half an hour of lecture with nothing and then suddenly have her pen ricochet across the paper when it starts again.
She's spent all day pissed off and unable to concentrate, thighs pressed together and fighting the urge to squirm in her seat. 
Krem actually asked if she had a fever at lunch and she had to convince him she was perfectly fine in between bites of her sandwich and the soft fluttering pulses of the vibrator that drive her mad and do little else.
Thank the gods today she doesn't have Dr. Sten.
He was right about one thing -- it really is discrete. No one can see it through her jeans and no one can hear it and it's somehow worse that Ellana's losing her sanity and no one would be able to tell why.
That afternoon she stalks down to the math tutoring room, armed with a stormy expression and her problem set for the week. At this point she could probably get through it alone without too many issues, but Zevran fucking owes her right now and she is going to collect.
Of course today of all days the tutoring room is packed. Ellana has to wait until Zevran gets done with another student -- teased by the vibrator on it's softest setting -- her fingers gripping her textbook until she's white knuckled.
When the freshman finally fucking leaves, Ellana stalks over to his table and slams the book down loud enough to make the guy at the table beside them flinch.
Zevran gives her a sunny smile. "Good afternoon! How may I help you?"
"You fucking son of a bitch," she hisses, sitting down.
"I'm sorry? What have I done to offend?" He blinks innocently. "Haven't you peaked many mountains today?"
She leans across the table, glaring at him. "I haven't peaked any mountains today," she says in the barest whisper.
Zevran leans back and smirks. "I know. But unfortunately for you, I'm closing today, so unless you have some. . . problems you need solving, you will have to go home and wait for another two hours or so.”
"I do have problems," she says, flipping the book open.
A slow smile crosses his face. "Well. Let's get to work, shall we?"
She spends the better part of those two hours struggling. After a year of help, Ellana has made significant gains in math. Not that anyone could tell in that moment.
Zevran explains patiently how to break down each problem and she looks down, mind blanking every time the vibrator pulses suddenly against her. He keeps his phone hidden under the table so she has no idea when he start it up again.
Sometimes he will let sit there for several minutes, undisturbed, while she jumps at every tiny sound or movement and sometimes he will leave it on the lowest setting to slowly drive her mad while she tries to solve complex equations.
And sometimes he gives her the illusion of impending relief, forcing her to bite her lip to keep from crying out and control her breathing while the people around her carry on, oblivious.
And just when she's skirting the edge of what promises to be the most bone shaking orgasm of her life, it stops and she has to fight not to cry or murder someone.
By the time five thirty rolls around, the room is empty save for them and she's a soaking, aching mess of a person, teetering on the edge of insanity.
Zevran packs his messenger back with care, his phone on the table and Ellana's eyes dart over to it. It would be so easy to take it and push that button and sit on it to keep him from getting to it. By this point she could probably cum in ten seconds or less.
His eyes meet hers, the corner of his mouth crooking up.
"Ellana, mi amor, please turn the lights off for me."
He knows. Godsdamn it. Ellana sighs and stands up, stalking over to the light switch by the door in a huff.
The room plunges into darkness -- the winter sun having just set -- and a second later the vibrator starts up again, the heart-beat pulse that knocks the air out of her. Zevran crowds her up against the wall, sliding his leg between her thighs to press the vibrator closer against her.
"Shiiiit," she whiness, fingers digging into the front of his shirt.
"Shhhh," he says. "You should be quiet if you don't want to get caught."
A desperate, needy sound builds up in her throat. "I can't."
He presses his hand hard against her open mouth, muffling the scream spills from her as she cums harder than she ever has in her life.
She reaches up to pull his hand away but Zevran refuses to budge. Instead of backing off, he pushes her harder against the wall, his hand a firm grip over her mouth.
"Oh mi amor," he breathes against her ear. "Did you think you were only going to cum once? The phone is on the table -- we're not stopping any time soon."
She's never come more than once before -- is that even possible?
His other hand snakes underneath her shirt and sports bra to knead and pinch at her nipples. He kisses his way up and down the side of neck, teeth scraping, sucking almost hard enough to leave a mark. It's almost too much -- the steady pulse of the vibrator, the added pressure of his leg between her thighs, her breasts, her neck --
Ellana comes again, her orgasm lighting through her nerves like electricity and it's pleasure and agony both.
"One more time, my sweet girl,” he croons. “One more time.”
He kisses past her clavicle, down her sternum, pulling her shirt and bra up and latching onto one of her nipples, teeth scraping over it exactly the way that drives her crazy. He undoes her jeans with practiced perfection, chuckling against her breast as his fingers glide over the sticky fluid that has seeped through her underwear to coat her inner thighs. Pushing the side of her underwear, he slips one long finger into her soaking, desperate entrance and Ellana screams against his hand.
Her hips stutter and grind against his leg, she's so wet it's dripping down her thigh now and the world has reduced itself to nothing but overwhelming sensations.
Fuck. FUCK!
Her third orgasm hurts the way a good massage hurts, her walls fluttering and clenching around his finger. She doesn't think she could take another one, but luckily for her, Zevran pulls both his hand and the vibrator from her ruined underwear and tugs her jeans back up.
He takes a moment to lick the vibrator clean before stowing it in his pocket and holy fucking hell.
Ellana slumps to the floor while he gathers his things, turning the vibrator off with his phone. She's too boneless to move.
"Come, Ellana," he says, striding over to her and holding out his hand. "Let's get you home."
She glares at him balefully. "Let's get you home. I have vengeance to enact."
He gives her a wolfish smile. "I look forward to it."
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bubbleteakoala · 5 years
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Hey guys! Since we’re all at home, why not practice your target languages a bit? Here’s a list of movies, tv shows, as well as variety shows in Chinese! For those of you who don’t learn Chinese, this is also a great way to entertain yourselves while learning a bit more about the world and Chinese culture(s). I’m not sure where you can watch these cause that would depend on the country you are in and etc. Anyways, let’s go!
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那些年
(10/10) Iconic. A true story too! From what I remember, it follows the love story of a guy who tries his best to get better grades in order to get the girl. Eventually they go to college and they split because of this stupid fight. It’s a great story revolving around the idea that when you love someone you just want them to be happy, even if it isn’t with you. There is a book for those of you who are interested, but from what I heard many details were left out of the movie.
我的少女时代
(7/10) Another iconic one, however I feel like it’s too similar to 那些年. It’s about a good girl that pairs up with this bad boy (cliche I know) just to split up their crushes who *seem* to be together. There’s also this whole backstory about how the bad boy and the girl’s crush were friends until an unfortunate event. Unlike 那些年 it has a happy ending! (But personally it was too idealistic)
快把我哥带走
(10/10) God I love this movie so much! I literally cried at the end! It’s a heartwarming movie about a girl who wishes that her older brother, who annoys her a lot, doesn’t exist. She wakes up after this and enters a world where her brother is now her best friend’s brother. By observing her brother and her best friend, she starts to miss having a brother. Eventually, she learns that everything her brother does was for a reason and tries to reverse her wish. (I really don’t want to spoil it please watch it it’s so good!!)
小小的愿望
(8.5/10) Mainly about friendship and a brotherly bond. Two best friends try to grant the last of the trio’s dying wish. Which proves to be quite hard hahaha... it’s quite comical but the ending is what really hits you. I cried in this one too... would definitely recommend to watch at least once! (Oh right, and one of the actors is the brother from 快把我哥带走 and another is the main guy from 我的少女时代)
少年的你
(8/10) Not really my type of movie, but it’s still pretty good. It talks about bullying, shows the repercussions of it, and mixes in the kind of romance you have in your youth. It was really popular when it came out here, so watching it may give you some convo topics with natives~
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小欢喜
(11/10) I’m serious. This is one of the best shows I’ve seen. It focuses on three families and their children in their last year of High School. Each family has their own problems which they eventually overcome: separated parents, parents who were absent, pressure on grades and school, depression, etc. The children also mature and grow as the story progresses. It’s a pretty modern tv series, so it’s easy to follow. It shows modern culture pretty well, but keep in mind that it takes place in Beijing, so it’s gonna be different for other regions. It’s also loosely based on the series 小别离 that focuses on middle school instead of high school, so check that one out too!
亲爱的,热爱的
(7.5/10) Ok if you like those mushy, cringy, romance type of stories, this one’s for you. As long as you survive the first 2 or 4 (?) episodes, the story gets better. It’s a pretty interesting series that revolves around this competition called CTF (I really don’t remember what it’s called sorry!) that’s basically like defense and hacking. So Guy 1 was a famous player but is now the CEO of a company/agency for young boys who are in the competition now. Enter Girl 1, a college student (masters I think) that’s smart, pretty, kind, yep. All that. It’s a story about how their each other’s first love and how they both navigate their lives after that. Honestly, I watch it when I’m in the mood. It’s not that bad.
最好的我们
(7/10) Some of you may have watched the movie but my sister swears that this one is better. From what my mum says it’s based on a book too?? If you like school dramas, like 那些年, then you’re gonna like this one. Follows the characters through their 3 years of high school, and shows how they grow, mature, and figure out their lives. Some falls in love, some realizes that the ups deserve better. And then there’s our main couple...SLOW BURN. YES ITS SO SLOW. BUT ITS SO GOOD. So check this one out if you have the time
闪光小女
(8.5/10) I didn’t like this one at first, but it got better. It’s about a group of kids in a music school and how they want to perform on stage. They major in Chinese traditional instruments, but the school prefers those who major in western instruments so they don’t get any opportunities at all. Also, most people nowadays learn western instruments like the piano more, so less and less kids are learning traditional instruments. It’s a story about growing up, the pains of it, staying true to yourself, and also standing up for yourself. It may seem weird at first, but it has a lot of life lessons that you can take form it. There’s also a movie too, but trust me, this one is better.
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向往的生活
(10/10) YASSS THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. Ok so I mainly only watched the 3 season since it has the actors for 快把我哥带走 in it (yes I like it that much). For the start of every episode, the 嘉宾 (the ones that are invited to film... what are they called....I can’t remember it in English..) of the previous episode leaves in the morning, then in the afternoon, new ones come!! It’s like farm life in China. The 嘉宾 tells the hosts what they want to eat, then once they come, they have to help the host prepare the dish by harvesting the food, catching the fishes, etc. It also has a lot of life lessons from it. So I recommend this to anyone who likes foods, culture, and wants to take a break from busy lives (... well I don’t know if that would have the same effect now since we’re all at home...)
中餐厅
(9/10) I also only watched the 3rd season for this one. So the third season is about a group of celebrities (and one chef) that travels to Italy, and starts a Chinese restaurant there. It shows them managing it, buying ingredients, cooking, designing a menu, and basically trying to survive. They have a quota that they have to reach by the end of the season. Oh and they also get wages, which is pretty cute since they use it for treats when they’re not working. Another one for the foodies!
密室大逃脱
(9/10) Oh yessss, ok so my mum, my sister, and my sister’s classmates are obsessed with this one. For those of you that don’t know, 密室s are like escape rooms, and it’s like a whole culture here. It’s what you would go play with friends, and each has a different theme and mystery that you have to solve to get out. It’s also pretty creepy cause of how real everything is. But anyways, there are two versions of this show: a pro version that shows how the pros solve it, and the celebrity version. Personally I haven’t seen the pro version, but my sister says that the celebrity version is funnier and more realistic cause most of the time they can’t figure it out and gets trapped in a room for hours (then one of the members starts to eat the props, those that are food btw, not like plastic). So this one is great for those who likes suspense and comedy mixed together.
Extra:
朋友请听好
(?/10) This one is pretty new. My mum has been watching this one lately and she says it’s great. It’s a show about a group of celebrities that starts their own radio show, I believe. From what my mum says it has a lot of life lessons in it. Check it out.
(This is my Week 4 post for the langblr activation challenge, you can find my other post here: Week 1, Week 2, Week 5)
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faennara · 5 years
Text
Can we blame Steven for not wanting to talk about his feelings to the cg ?
Those times i’ve been relating with Steven thoughts in the last episode. Obviously he needs to talk about it, but why doesn’t he want the crystal gems to hear it?
I think it’s because he doesn’t trust them in an emotional way. We’ve been seeing since the beginning of the show and even until now that the gems takes everything at face value (i’m sorry if that’s not the right expression djskfj). We even saw it for this episode. Steven was obviously not okay and had a lot on his mind, Pearl noticed something was wrong, but when Steven said everything’s fine (even tho we can see it isn’t), Pearl and the rest of the cg are like “okay, have fun with your plants”. They clearly cannot totally understand humans emotions, and so Steven’s, and he knows it, and that’s why he doesn’t want to talk about it. Plus, he is annoyed that, even if he does talk to the cg, it won’t help.
“I can’t tell Pearl how I feel ‘cause she’ll blame herself and spiral out of control” Instead of the wanted situation of Pearl helping Steven, it will be Steven helping Pearl. And i’ll understand if he is tired of dealing with that, especially with his actual emotional situation.
“I don’t want any more high and mighty advices from Garnet, I just want to know better for once.” Here, he will just feel down. Obviously Garnet will help, but not the way he wants. Garnet will tell him what to do according to what she sees in the future, about what she wil know. But that’s not what Steven wants, he wants an answer coming from her heart, not the future. He needs no hear sweet words that will cheer him up, not what to do according to Garnet’s knowledge about the future.
“And i’m so sick of Amethyst acting like she’s so mature now” Okay this time is a bit weird because it talks about how Amethyst became. (That’s a bit hurtful, isn’t it with Amethyst that Steven had the most compatibility?) And he doesn’t seem to like it. How could he talk about something private to a person he does not appreciate 100%? We know She is her family. But imagine your closest yet younger member of your family change a bit? Like your little brother thinking he is now an adult and that he can solve every problem while he is just 14. That would be a bit annoying in a long period (trust me it is).
Steven knows the cg more than anyone and that’s why he knows he cannot talk about his feelings to them.
But i’m curious if he will even talk to somebody.. Connie perhaps? Everything around Steven is changing and moving, he feels left out, stuck in the 14-years-old-steven’s work which is to help gems and protect the Earth. And he doesn’t know who he is without that work. Lars is going back to space, Sadie has a new partner (rly lovely btw) and the band is breaking up. He is scared of what is going to happen for him, he is scared of becoming left out, useless and lonely (*coughing* spinel). Please give this boy a hug.
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maxdark158 · 5 years
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This is chapter two of my fic based on @ozmav ‘s Damian Wayne x Marinette Dupain-Cheng au that I LOVE, please check them out.
Angel in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5 ~ Part 6 ~ Ao3
Demon in Gotham: Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Ao3
Fanart for AiG: Riddler ~ Joker thank you @thegreysman
Please tag me in any fanart you draw for this guys ^^
oooOOOooo
“Marinette, seriously?” The annoyed voice of Marinette’s once-best-friend Alya Cesaire was grating to her now. “You need to stop running away just for attention, it won’t work.”
It had been a long day for Marinette. It started off well, even after being forgotten by her class, because she got to hang out with Damian. But The Riddler kind of spoiled that. After her talk with the police, Damien waited with her for a teacher to pick her up from the station. They parted when her teacher arrived, Marinette promising to text him when she got to her hotel room.
The teacher that picked her up was Professor Mendeleiev. While the science teacher’s strictness had unnerved Marinette for years, lately she had begun wishing she was in her class instead of Ms. Bustier’s. Ms. Bustier’s tactics of being a better example for a bully were starting to wear on her. Professor Mendeleiev wasn’t perfect, but Marinette would have taken being in her class over being in Ms. Bustier’s now.
When the teacher asked why Marinette had been away from the group in the first place, Marinette told her that she had been forgotten by Ms. Bustier and her class. Professor Mendeleiev went silent after that.
The rest of the ride was silent too.
It was silent until Professor Mendeleiev dropped her off at her room where Alya was waiting to rip into her about being attention-seeking and rude.
“Hello?” she sounded angry now. “Are you even listening to me? Do you think if you ignore us we’ll believe you were ever nice again? Lila told us the truth about who you are, you-”
“Alya!” her teacher snapped. “Your classmate was caught in a villain attack today. Leave her alone.”
Alya gaped. “But”
“That was not a request,” Professor Mendeleiev growled. “Do you think you can escape my detentions because we are on vacation?”
Alya squeaked and ran off to her room.
Marinette blinked, not quite sure what just happened. Relief was the cool feeling applied to a headache, stopping the pain.
“Thank you,” she mumbled. Professor Mendeleiev nodded and stalked off, mumbling something about having a long overdue talk with ‘Caline’.
Alya must have gone back to her hotel room, as Marinette didn’t encounter her or anyone else on her way back to her room.
The relief hit again, but the hint of sadness was like mint in her mouth and wetness on her cheek, despite her not actually crying.
It was hard to remember that Alya used to be her best friend. It got harder every time Alya got after her for bullying or lying or anything else that she didn’t actually do. Marinette almost wishes they hadn’t ever become friends, the betrayal would have hurt less.
It seems some wounds take years to heal.
Marinette arrived at her room and unlocked the door with her room key. She entered and immediately flopped on her bed.
“Marinette, are you alright?” she heard Tikki ask.
“I’m just tired,” she mumbled. “I’m more used to akumatized villains, not insane people with riddle obsessions.”
She felt Tikki brush aside some of her hair. “I’m just glad you’re alright. You scared me for a moment, Marinette. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost you.”
Marinette smiled. “Thanks, Tikki.”
“It’s simply the truth! Also, didn’t you tell that boy you would text him?”
Her eyes widened. Marinette rolled over and got her phone out of her purse. “Thanks for reminding me!”
Tikki giggled out a, “no problem,” and rested on Marinette’s stomach.
Angel: I’m at the hotel now.
Damian: That’s good Damian: Did you get in trouble?
Marinette smiled to herself. It felt nice, being worried about… Even if she didn’t want him to worry. But the fact that he cared felt like a warm hug.
Angel: Professor Mendeleiev must’ve been tired or something. Angel: She didn’t leacture
She frowned. That had to be wrong.
Angel: Lecture?
Damian: *lecture
Marinette rolled her eyes. In the two days she had known Damian, she knew he was a stickler for grammar. Though he wasn’t harsh about his corrections, as he knew English wasn’t her first language, it was a tad annoying. Marinette was much better at speaking and reading in English than she was at spelling.
Angel: Quiet, English is hard
Damian: Understandable. Damian: In my original question I meant any of your classmates btw
Angel: btw? Angel: Oh by the way
Damian: yeah
Angel: I’m good at text slang in French, okay
Damian: I don’t doubt you
She rolled her eyes and smiled. Annoying, but the banter was nice. It wasn’t like with Chat Noir when he was trying to flirt with her.
Angel: Anyway Alya tried to bother me but I’m good now Angel: Professor Mendeleiev told her off for bothering me after my ‘traumatic’ encounter with a Gotham villain
Damian: Speaking of, are you SURE you’re alright Angel
Ooh, capital letters. He must be really worried. Guilt rested on her shoulders again on that day.
Angel: I’m fine Angel: I’ve survived akuma for three years, I’m not about to let some riddle fanatic with terrible clothing choices ruin my day
Damian: His clothes are that bad?
Good, subject change. Maybe she can get him to stop worrying.
Angel: Too much green, for one Angel: Green shouldn’t be used in large portions when it’s that bright of a shade Angel: Also the cloth itself was cheap, but the kind of cheap meant to look expensive if you don’t know cloth good
Damian: *well
Marinette smiled. She hoped her little intentional mistake would make him stop worrying.
Angel: Whatever Angel: Also his hat didn’t match the type of suit he was wearing Angel: If he wants to go old fashioned he should at least match the time period Angel: Longer coat, more layers Angel: He is an atrocity
Damian: he is
Angel: If I had time to cry then my tears would had been blood
Damian: *have
“Seriously,” she grumbled to herself. The guilt had long since lifted but Damian’s need for correct grammar was going to drive her mad.
Angel: istg
Damian: It appears you’re learning
Angel: Yepp
Damian: Also the Gotham news posted an article online about you Damian: “Unnamed Teenager From France Holds off The Riddler Until Batman Arrives!”
Angel: Wait what? Angel: But we both held him off?
Damian: I was kind of useless, you did most of the work Damian: I left shortly after you solved his riddle because the Robins had arrived
Marinette breathed a sigh of relief. She had been scrolling through the article Damian had mentioned, realizing that it did not have any mention of her throat punching The Riddler. It did say she took him down with physical force, but it was in self-defense and she was okay.
She just didn’t want Damian to find out she punched someone in the throat. It would make him think she was violent and he’d hate her forever and never talk to her again and she’d loose the only friend she’s made in the last three years and-
Her phone, which had fallen asleep, buzzed again.
Damian: You there?
Marinette sighed, mentally reining her anxieties in.
Angel: Yeah. I was just reading the article Angel: The Riddler was bad at hand to hand combat. It was easy to take him down with the practice I have from Paris
Damian: I bet. Damian: It’s getting late, Angel. We should go to bed. Damian: Goodnight
Angel: Goodnight Angel: Also I’ll find a chat name for you soon, promise
Damian: lol okay
Marinette smiled and put her phone away. Hopefully, she would get to spend more time with him tomorrow.
This was day three of their trip to Gotham. The entire trip lasted nine days. She wanted to make the most of her trip by spending time with her friend until she had to leave.
While the thought brought a brief sadness, she put it out of her mind and continued to get ready for bed.
oooOOOooo
Marinette managed to get up on time this morning.
Meaning, she woke up from a nightmare at around four am and couldn’t go back to sleep after that because she started fully sketching out some of her outfit ideas she had yesterday. She even made a few based off the Gotham heroes, coloring those ones in.
Despite all the designing she finished, Marinette was still the first one ready and in the lobby where the class is supposed to meet every morning.
Marinette was wearing her messier clothes today. After yesterday where she confronted The Riddler in leggings, she decided to stick to pants today too. She loved the dress she brought but it would not work if she managed to confront another villain.
Besides, the dress code was more lenient today. Marinette had on a white crop top with her signature flower pattern and dark gray overalls on. She had her hair in a French braid so it was out of her face. Her tennis shoes were the same pink as the flowers and as always, she had her purse for Tikki.
When the teachers came down to wait for the class, they saw Marinette there. Professor Mendeleiev gave her a nod, to which Marinette smiled. Ms. Bustier looked conflicted for a moment before ultimately deciding to sit down away from both her and Professor Mendeleiev.
The class began to filter in. Marinette made sure to stay out of sight from everyone but the teachers. They grouped together, talking about mindless things. Mostly about what they’d do with their afternoon. Today they were going to the Gotham City Heroes and Villains Museum in the morning, then after lunch the rest of the day was free until 5:30 pm.
Lila arrived last. Marinette knew that she likely did it so everyone noticed her entrance. She also realized that Lila arrived a few minutes before everyone had to get on the busses, so people had time to talk to and about her.
The designer simply tuned the liar out. She didn’t care anymore.
Well, she didn’t until she heard a certain name.
“Damian is such a sweetheart,” Marinette glanced up from her phone. “We might get back together again soon, I’m not sure though. I hope so.”
“I forgot that you’re on and off,” she heard someone else say, though who didn’t matter.
“Did you say Damian?” Marinette asked before she thought out the action. Her voice was loud enough that suddenly everyone was staring at her as if they forgot she was there in the first place.
They likely had.
“Uh, yeah,” Alya scoffed. “Lila and Damian Wayne are an on and off thing. You’d know that if you weren’t skipping the field trip for attention.”
“Alya, it’s alright,” Lila sighed. “We keep it out of the tabloids and Marinette doesn’t like me, it’s not her fault she didn’t know.”
“That sounds like it’s her fault! Marinette just needs to get over herself!”
Marinette was tuning her classmates out. She felt like an idiot. But at the same time, he never told her. He must have had a reason for telling her.
But there was no mistaking it. The Riddler called him, “Wayne.” They met when she was trying to get into Wayne Enterprises. His first name was Damian and he knew the tour guide…
She tuned back into her classmates’ conversation.
“Anyway, Damian and I went and got ice cream last afternoon. That’s why I was gone, you see. He would have walked me back, but we would have attracted a crowd. Plus he got a little chocolate ice cream on his shirt, he’s so messy.”
Marinette closed her eyes. Rage is hot and fiery, her nails dug into her palms.
Calling Lila out does nothing.
But she couldn’t help but remember Damian telling her that chocolate ice cream was among his least favorites when they went to get ice cream yesterday.
And he isn’t messy.
oooOOOooo
Marinette found the museum interesting. It gave her some anxiety, learning about everything villains did to the city was nerve-wracking.
She wondered if there would ever be a Paris Museum for Akuma.
It also gave her some ideas. Learning about the Gotham Hero’s greatest feats and how they accomplished them was eye-opening.
She was doing this whole battling-Hawkmoth-thing wrong! Instead of a case by case akuma battle, which are much less frequent nowadays, she should partner with the police! There were cameras all over Paris and, unlike Kwami, corrupted butterflies appeared on them. Hawkmoth may only be attacking around once a month now, but he still needed to own up to the terror he reigned on Paris and the world.
Marinette felt a little stupid for not realizing all of this before, she realized as she whispered her ideas to Tikki in the bathroom. She could have ended it sooner if she thought to get investigative about her enemy.
But as interesting and terrifying as the museum was, the trip only took the morning. By lunch, her classmates were waiting for the teachers to decide who to take where, as no restaurant had enough room for all of them.
She pulled out her phone and opened her text chat with Damian.
Angel: Kill me now
Damian: What’s wrong?
Angel: We have to all get lunch as a class before I’m free Angel: I’m in the group with Liar Rossi Angel: Death would be sweatier
Marinette mumbled a curse under her breath. She meant sweeter! Stupid autocorrect.
Damian: *sweeter
Angel: Rude
Damian: Anyway Damian: You can’t die yet Damian: We still technically didn’t get ice cream
She managed to smile. Damian made her do that a lot now that she thought about…
Her phone pinged again.
Damian: Also you’re at the Gotham City Heroes and Villains Museum right?
Angel: Yes I am
Damian: I’m nearby
Marinette’s eyes widened. What?
Damian: I can pick you up for lunch
Angel: OMG really? Please do I’d really really like that
Damian: omw
She looked up, seeing that her teachers were still discussing. She walked up to them, waiting until they saw her.
Ms. Bustier did first. “Marinette! What did you need?”
“My friend invited me to eat lunch with him,” she looked at Professor Mendeleiev as she spoke, not Ms. Bustier. “May I go?”
“After what happened yesterday? I don’t thi-” Ms. Bustier was cut off by Professor Mendeleiev.
“Is this the friend you were at the station with?” she asked, voice sharp. Marinette nodded.
Professor Mendeleiev hummed, contemplating. Ms. Bustier gaped at her. “You can’t be considering allowing her to go!” she said, “Not after how mad you got at me-”
“Caline, I got mad at you for forgetting her. Allowing her to go is not the same thing,” Professor Mendeleiev glared at her, “We’re allowing you to go on your own after lunch anyway, as long as everyone has a buddy. Finding you a buddy in this class, however, is likely going to be difficult…”
She trailed off before digging into her bag. “We got trackers for this free afternoon, though we couldn’t afford them for everyone,” she brought out a black bracelet that looked plastic. “This will only give me your general location. We will still have enough for everyone else as long as they’re in pairs. If you take one, I will allow you to go to lunch and such with your friend.”
Ms. Bustier’s brows furrowed. “You’re giving her special treatment? But-”
“Caline, you forgot her twice,” Professor Mendeleiev sounded patient, as if she were an adult talking to a toddler. “Marinette earned this and she will be with a friend from Gotham, something nobody else in this class truly has besides her.”
“This is my class,” Ms. Bustier was beginning to fume. “You accompanied because two teachers were needed, but these are my students-”
“Caline,” Professor Mendeleiev sounded more annoyed. “I am allowing her to go. Since I’ve been teaching for longer and because you told me to hand out the tracking bracelets, my decision overrules yours. Your argument is pointless.”
Marinette stared as Ms. Bustier tried to find words to retaliate with and failed. She took the bracelet from Professor Mendeleiev and thanked her.
It felt nice to have someone stand up for her again.
In the corner of her eye, Marinette noticed Alya walk toward the teachers and her. She looked angry and upset, a face she nowadays wore often around Marinette.
She remembered what she thought last night, about Alya’s betrayal. How it hurt remembering the good times they shared. Marinette took a deep breath.
It still hurt. It still hurt remembering the good times they had as friends, but she had to be fair to herself. She had to remember the bad times too.
She had to remember the times Alya demanded every detail, said friends tell each other everything. She had to remember the times Alya pressured her into things she wasn’t comfortable doing. She had to remember the times Alya took her for granted, the time Alya decided she wasn’t worth as much as a liar.
She has to remember what Alya is doing to her now.
“Where is the liar going now?” Alya scoffed. “Getting permission to run away this time?”
Marinette rolled her eyes and slipped the bracelet on. She would be okay. Alya wasn’t her friend anymore, she had better ones to look out for her.
“I don’t owe you anything.”
Alya gaped.
Luckily for Marinette, Alya didn’t have time to think of a response. A car drove up, and Marinette saw Damian wave to her from the backseat. She smiled.
The door was unlocked, so she opened it and got in. She didn’t look back at her classmates faces as the driver, an aged man in a suit, drove away.
“Where would you like to eat, Angel?” Damian asked.
Marinette shrugged. “I’m not sure, I don’t know what’s here.”
Damian frowned. “Angel, you okay?”
That’s when her previous realization hit. He was Damian Wayne, son of Bruce Wayne. He was one of the celebrities Lila liked lying about the most. And he was her friend, currently best friend.
“I’m okay,” she mumbled. “I’ve got a lot on my mind right now.”
Damian looked like he wanted to press the issue, but decided against it. He told his butler to take them to a restaurant she didn’t recognize the name of while she took deep breaths. She felt Tikki press gently against her hip, trying to reassure her.
Alya was a bad friend. Marinette wanted to be a better friend to Damian. He already made her so happy! Warm fuzzies and smiled and giggles were rare in the last few years, but she experienced them all with Damian. He kept a secret from her, likely for his own reasons, and she found out what it was behind his back.
Damian deserved better than that.
“I know,” she blurted out. “I know you’re Damian Wayne. I just want you to know that doesn’t change anything. You’re still my friend, and I don’t care who your dad is and who you are.”
Damian gaped at her for a moment before shaking his head. “I’m sorry you had to find out on your own. I should have told you-”
Marinette interrupted, “you didn’t have to. You don’t owe me that.”
He looked confused. She chose to elaborate.
“As a stranger or even a friend, you don’t owe me any details about who you are. Ever,” Marinette told him. “You’re allowed to keep secrets and not tell me things you aren’t comfortable sharing. It isn’t fair of me to demand you tell me everything.”
She was going to be the friend she needed to Damian. It was the least he deserved.
Marinette pushed down any disappointment that came with the word friend, not knowing why it was there. Maybe it was left over from her classmates’ treatment of her.
Damian was staring at her. She wasn’t sure what his expression meant, but it looked… Awed?
“Thank you,” he said earnestly. “I… nobody’s ever said secrets are okay…”
Marinette shrugged. “I can’t help if I feel left out, but forcing you to tell me everything isn’t how friendship is supposed to work. If you don’t want to tell me, it’s okay.”
Damian’s smile was small, but it made Marinette feel warm. Was he the sun?
“Perhaps instead of a restaurant, I can take you both to the mansion for your lunch?” the driver said, his accent different from Marinette’s.
“You sure Alfred?” Damian asked.
She saw his nervousness. “You don’t have to if you aren’t comforta-”
“No, it’s not that,” he assured. “My brothers can be… rambunctious.”
Oh. Marinette smiled. “I can handle them if that’s the only reason you’re nervous.”
Damian thought for a moment before sighing. “Alfred, please talk us to the mansion.”
“My pleasure, Master Damian.”
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