#[shadow of myself;visual]
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i told myself that yakuei only had one position then i proved myself (sorta) wrong
my fave face here:
#technically... if they were boinking in outer space... a lot of these would be the same position#makes a rotate-y gesture with my fingers#what is yakumo's kabedon if not a vertical missionary#so i've half proven myself right AND wrong! i'm net neutral in outer space broskis!!!!!#zizz-asdf if ur reading these tags i'll have u know that u inspired me to Do the Research1#like. 5 garu riding eiden? no. it can't be. does yaku do one specific thing with eiden 5 times? *tries to write it down*#i can't quite... what's the word for that position...uhhhh#ah forget it i'll just draw it out#<- that was the process of creating this. collage? š#THE MATRIX OF YAKUEI BOINKINg POSITIONS (under construction)#when u about to be semi-normal and make a spreadsheet but ur sexcabulary is stunted so you resort to visuals instead#legit opening up every intimacy room and skipping thru sections to get as complete a picture as possible#wondering... where are yaku's feet planted in this one. (skips to 8minute mark)#ah! there they are. theyre not supporting his weight in this one *draws it*#while drawing crimson phantom room 2 my brow was furrowed and i was mentally narrating#[and this one i affectionately call.. rectal exam - professional misconduct Grounds for Termination)]#surprised they str8 up havent done classicdoggstyle yet. is it because he's a snake? garu should teach him#also surprised that there's been no Light SSR for yaku yet. come on!! Light mode on the double!#uhhh i think the only repeated positions were freestanding (choco liqueur r2 and dark nova r2)#and standing AGAINST! THE! WALL! (choco liqueur r5 {interior} and shadow lineage r5 {cave})#wait. *throws papers around* i swear they did missionary more than once. was it only ocean breeze???#i know with the intimacy rooms they gotta modify the positions into certain angles to make it...look...better#but seriously? only one missionary out of the lot of them? despite the aesthetic tweaks??? how can that ........#*tosses more papers around with increasing befuddlement* WHERE IS MY PURE 100% VANILLA BEAN ICE CREAM#sighs as all the papers lie scattered on the ground#dude... i don't know anymore..... this is beyond my scope#now that i see how evenly spread out the positions are...#i BET the devs have SOME SORTA CHART tracking yaku's positions. now THAT'S a funky office corkboard!#yakuei#nu carnival eiden
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people who do STEM or administration as a career full time and continue to do art as a hobby, I am scared of you but like in a hot way. youre like if we were allowed to have cold drinks in winter. i look at you and think of miles morales with his two cakes. do you want to make out sometime
#i say all of this positively bc i just! i cant help admiring it!! even if its mundane or not a big deal to you i seriously cant wrap my head#around it.. this is in no way at all meant to be condescending or anything. whenever i look at someones bio and theyre like oh im working#as a lab assistant biologist pharmacist realtor etc im like woag.... thats insane.. and then i peep your art tag and it knocks my socks of#how?? what lives do you lead??? im so curious. i seriously want a peek inside your brains someday. or at least shadow you at work lol#i cant help but feel sad when someone says smth like well i have to support myself and art cant do that for me. or maybe you were#pushed into pursuing a 'safe' career bc i hear it a lot. all of my relatives have the same story working as nurses and OFWs for the family#i think for me its not about missed potential but rather its being sad about making a decision to put your happiness aside to get by#ive tried so hard to do it but it didnt work out. i guess watching you guys do it is fascinating to me#or maybe youve made peace with your decision or actually like what you pursued but im still amazed!! it makes me wonder what made#you pick one over the other in that case.. is it like putting time for two different things the way you would for a schedule?? hmmm#im doing graphic design so i dont really interact with ppl in other faculties even humanities like sociology or childcare... so i cant help#wondering what it must be like as someone whos pursuing visual communication both as an interest and career#i seriously wish i could do smth like a desk job or even admin and maybe ill try that if this doesnt work. or i could look into trades#but dyscalculia already makes it hard to do things like cash and mental math so i get overwhelmed if i think about this too hard#yapping
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ghostwriter (their grandma would tell them she'd lose half her soul)
#or smth smth. having a lot of Thoughts. anyways here's the piece i've been working on and sometimes u have to just say Done#there's a lot of thinks but i am maybe a bit tired and so tmr i'll come in and add all the Tags that i'd personally want to get from myself#maybe i'll reblog the extras tmr too. this is an incredibly self indulgent piece + it probably deserves a tag ramble essay or smth#ig for now we see how it stands for itself + in the meantime:#adamandi#beatrix valeria campbell#hello!! i'm back with belated tags yippee!! alright so for funsies i'm going to make it sound like i'm going bonkers over this :3#the eye shine... the glowy eye... it's like phaethon shine but also smth about eyes to windows to the soul and like#there's two beatrixes here! half the soul. lost part doing things specific to the phaethon and here it's portrayed as tearing off her name#because that's really; truly; when it all starts!! also notable for the ghostly beatrix is i did it more painterly and cloaked in shadow and#fading into the bg. i think i was super duper specificish about where the glow comes from! front lighting back lighting beloved!!! like help#let's put it this way- beatrix face always glowy. important parts of paper also glowy. it's just that different elements are turned away#from the viewer by each beatrix!! also also. let's talk about the very gently implied blood and red etcetera#like the red string is canonical and i love personally the whole red strings of fate thing even though it's not Here Applicable exactly but#that definitely was an influence! and also the blood in the bg... i'm starting to think this is a recurring trend. but anyway shadowy bea#the other strings hang while the red string loops!! so like that one string feels almost alive. it's a sort of whimsical i put on the same#as metaphorical glowy eye!! also also the eye is lowkey influenced by the whole idea of Eyes and Spotlights within the show and also glow#as in power as in heyyy you ever think about writing as a visual medium huh#speaking of writing!! there is no beatrix thingy complete in my head without text sorrry but the black text overlays are always so >>> to me#and in the sense of art styles and overlays shoutout to all the black crosshatching outline thingys because For Some Reason in my mind#of all the characters beatrix feels like the bnw ink printed illustrations you get in books idk#fun fact! i spent so long rendering this and that was fine i liked it! but then trying to figure out text to go on the papers was a Thing#i tried to do. but then gave up on! sometimes i have to pick my battles and graphic design is indubitably Not my passion bc Fonts#fun facts about this is i Actually did start with a quick sketch in mind and there's been so many changed elements. in the og the front#paper for instance had 'ardess murders' written on it and the back one said phaethon interviews.. i like the nominee list better it feels#more narrative-esque and less passive than her just holding her writing.! other elements that got discontinued were that#front beatrix was supposed to blur into the other ghostly beatrix but i couldn't do it without sacrificing clarity so... no... no blurry#oh and the red string morphing at the ends to smth more abstract was always there from the start!! og had more floating papers#and also a silhouette of vincent and a scalpel bc 'one who pulls the strings' but that (pun intended)! got cut (hahahahahahaha) (sorry)#used also to be a lot of print room clutter but that got cut to bc compositionally i made beatrix larger (learned lesson from last art)
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My most controversial persona 4 and persona in general opinions is probably just that shadow world is my favorite opener
#I can say like oh everything about burn my dread is so good I can be like oh yeah the visuals for wake up are just perfect#whatever doesnāt change the fact I still like shadow world the best cos itās cute and it makes me smile. Iām done lying to myself#I watch that shit every time all the way through#and dream of butterfly is my second favorite lol#when that harmonica hitsā¦ā¦ā¦. I remember everything I like about persona 4#I listened to shadow world like 50x before I even bought the game like donāt even joke lad
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ahh western comics have the ugliest style lmao
#ruined myself by reading manga before american comics and now I see weak linework and jet black shadows that obscure everything#and I Dislike It lmao#also if the main cast has a big strong man it's the Same Guy every time#it's always off brand Bruce Wayne#this is not unique to american comics but I simply notice it More#I am biased and I realize this#I also just want my visual media to not be a cluttered mess of dark smudges on the page#like unless that is the point of the piece then visual clarity is kind of important#I'll probably stop yapping sorry gang there's cold brew in the house and I feel like a person again because of it
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lofi beats to fend off the hallucinations to
#it's the animal crossing wild world soundtrack actually. in case u were wondering#one of the only things known to stop hallucinations is actually constant auditory stimulation btw! that is to say the new meds are ummm :)))#theyre helping but im still not 100%... im actually a little worried now that im typing this?#the meds are helping in so many ways and at first i thought i wasnt hallucinating at night anymore#but the type just changed. sigh. the hallucinations i HAD been having were the... im Afraid a hallucination will happen hallucinations and#the mildly annoying auditory stuff. the suspicious of shadows stuff. now it's the ones that really scare me. the paranoid someone is in the#house theyre hiding you cant sleep without a knife the cat is trying to tell you something everyone is watching you. hallucinations.#these ones are the scariest for me bc even though they usually don't result in visual hallucinations like the previous kind they do usually#result in me behaving Strangely and doing uhh. not. things mentally well people do.#but for now im able to tell myself to not sleep with a knife and blast animal crossing music until my roommate gets back and i feel safer#in the house.#lessons of the hand and the mouth
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i msiss him so much
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my drawings are but a crude shadow cast by the real tuing.....
#you would think drawing him would invoke feelings within my but it doesnt because*i* made it#so i dont see him i see my terrible shadow puppet portrait. all suspension of disbelief is lost#it honestly just makes me 10x more critical of my skill#playing in a musical group is such a different form of art because hearing myself as a small part in a whole group playing beautifully#is like. an otherworldly experience. its amazing its so moving.#whereas seeing visual art ive made. even if im proud of it i feel absolutely nothing .#i might feel a little pride or relief at finishing or improving .#i will absolutely feel dissatisfaction and disappointment at its imperfections#but it will never move me like art that somebody else has made will#kinda disappointing
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Over halfway through season 1 of Sonic Boom... what is this show. Why am I watching this. it's on crack it's so fucking unhinged š help
#sonic boom#sonic the hedgehog#watching out of pure curiosity not because I feel that I need to#could've just watched the episodes with Shadow and nothing would've been lost#but I find myself laughing at the stupid ass jokes because of how dumb of ass they are omg#I hate how dumb Knuckles is genuinely#Didn't like Sticks at first - very jarring character - but idk she grew on me#ngl I laughed my ass off the times Eggman āteamed upā with someone especially Sonic I just.. idk... the wtfery gets me#Have a soft spot for this Sonic already him and his lil scarf#I like trans headcanons for this Sonic in particular idk why don't touch me#The dialogue is often so cringeworthy hhhh but at least visually it isn't bad or I could not even#no offense if people unironically like this show#I'm not saying it's terrible or unenjoyable it's just... it's something#If I'd watched this when it aired on saturday mornings or whenever the fuck#I probably would've just been like āhehe funni this is a nice break from all the edgy shitā that I'd been watching in 2014
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I think they are pretty different though, in terms of like. Basic design quality.
Like, the colour grading in the left (old) pic is cohesive. The characters look like they fit into the shot, it's pretty saturated but it all looks like it blends together.
On the right, it's not. It's not just desaturated, but I think some of the light bouncing off the hair and clothes is weirdly green tinged, which makes it feel like someone just didn't bother to adjust it after removing the green screen and putting a background in. The skin tone is kind of grey but not everything else is the same level of desaturated (mostly the hair on the right, which has the effect of making that characters skin look kind of purple), so it looks more jarring.
Neither of the characters pop compared to the background, particularly the grey hair being basically the exact same colour as the walls. It's little stuff but it just adds up to the whole thing looking janky.
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#might be off on the colours myself because my phone screen is evil. like.#also different issue but the perspective on that room background feels wrong as does the shadow underneath the bed.#if we're going for complaints about shot composition there's way too much visual clutter distracting the focus from the characters#like neither of these films is high art but like. I dunno it's still sad to see design choices just. drained out#they don't need a film that looks ok they can rely on The Brand and Nostalgia so who gives a fuck. it is. yuck.#there is a bit more life in the original comedy that they've somehow chewed out of the remake. soullessness reaches new levels daily.
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pov:u go into blue pe/riod goin haha i too went to art school n then u come out of the otherside holding ur head at "why did u choose art sen/sei" "i just chose a hell i could live with" and "do you even like art?" and "everybody is telling you about closure and how to move on from grief, but there's nothing wrong with holding that grief forever for the rest of your life" and "if u give it ur all and still fail, you should off urself?" and "does it even matter if your work is popular - isn't it enough for it to resonate with just the one person bc it moved them so deeply-"
#what if i htrew myself off a cliff#these days i try to tell myself art is easy (in the same way that one utuber boe/ing pilot says flying is easy) bc all it boils down to#is communication and language and it is the equivalent of writing and everything falls into place w proper research n pre-planning#all it is a practice of this to create a vehicle of visual storytelling or narration#the technicalities - color; shadows; notan; perspective - it's all grammar and rules and language and then - and then#u have to become a jazz musician u have to sing u have to belt it out with taste and style and punch walls in ways that are meaningful to u#but first u gotta know how to do ur abc's and sentence structures and then you have to have faith in ur own abilities after the fact-#ALSO GOD THE WAY A NAME MAKES EVERYTHING SO INTIMIDATING - I BEEN CONFUSED AF ABT SEEING#'MUNSELL' METHOD CROPPIN UP EVERYWHERE AND ALL IT IS IS JUST THE BREAK DOWN OF COLOR VIA#HUE - CHROMA - VALUE AND IM GOING TO BITE EVERYBODY FOR MAKING IT INTO SOME BIG MONSTER#BC IT AINT SHIT - THIS IS SIMPLY JUST THREE QUALITIES TO A COLOR THAT U USE TO TRIANGULATE THE THING U NEED#i will probably become the dunning-kruger effect w trying to convince myself that i can Do Things but w/e bro be cringe be free#Reclaim The Menu (2023)#i met a self taught artist today who also works at state parks he's living my dream#he was so cool#:skull: bro immediately pinned me down as a painter bc i was squatting down to obsessively stare at his brush strokes n color choices#vs me who will deny that i am a painter/fine artist in any capacity for 5000 yrs#but also artists who squat down to obsessively stare at brush strokes n colors: ur cringe n beware the museums bc the security guards are#going to tell u r going in way too close n u have to leave- (real life anecdote)#i have an unwarranted intensity for being so bad at art lmfao but it makes me happy when ppl look at my things n say#hey this makes me wanna draw too!#u can always rely on me to be ur hype man to go to doodle town
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i got cornered by a spider in the bathroom and my cat came to the rescue and killed it, and she can tell iām feeling anxious so sheās now on protective hunter mode which is really cute but itās making me more anxious
#i keep thinking thereās another spider near bc sheāll visually chase anything moving#which means any type of shadow or whatever#and sheāll go inspecting suspicious places#like corners and under my mattress#and iāve tried changing rooms/beds but sheās clearly doing this for me as sheās following me around#now iām like is this going to progress into a panic attack?#well at least if it does sheāll stop the chasing suspicions and will instead try to stop the panic#hfjfjmfkr#joking is my coping mechanism#i should have brought up my phobias in therapy before discharging myself#i am going to use my learned tools for anxiety#wish me luck#or mental stability
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how i counteract my negative beliefs.
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over the years, i knew that i had lingering thoughts and beliefs that did not serve me. so, at the beginning of 2021, i started doing shadow work, which was very scary to me because there was a lot to uncover. i began to understand that those beliefs were programmed into me since i was a kid. i knew if i wanted to create my reality consciously, i had to let them go and change those beliefs. i did not deny that i had those beliefs. i acknowledged them so i could let them go.
like i said, i did shadow work first (which i still do every year so that i am always aware and can self-reflect on what needs changing). then i started doing affirmations, visualization, and commanding over the years. i do affirmations every morning right after my meditation. i feel them as if they were true while holding my chest with both hands. i always do my affirmations in front of the mirror and look myself in the eyes. sometimes it ends up as a whole conversation of affirmation, and i feel good the entire day.
next, i did visualization. since i love to daydream, i took that as an advantage but with full control. so i visualize myself with my desires showing up and getting into the feeling. "what would it feel like if my desires showed up?" i would try my best to feel my imagination in all my senses (sight, hearing, smell, taste, touch) sometimes it takes just a few minutes to get into that feeling but i stop right after i feel it, and continue what i am doing. sometimes i fall asleep while doing it.
lastly, there is commanding, which i mastered this year. since i have worked on my self-concept over the years, it is much easier to command my brain. now, if a negative belief comes up and i feel it, my body would fidget, and my leg starts to shake. the moment this happens, i always catch myself and tell myself, "hey, if this negative belief is true/possible, how come the positive belief is a lie/impossible when they are both neutral?" then i choose to command my brain with the positive belief or thought instead of being anxious about the negative belief. then the negative belief is gone!
because i am aware
that i have the power,
my imagination is real,
and i am deserving and worthy of everything i want in life.
if i understand those 3 things, then why choose to believe or have that negative belief? if i truly understand those 3 things, i would embody the feeling of my natural self which is my divine self. and if all beliefs are neutral, then i would choose to believe the one that serves me more. this is how i discipline my mind.
it's not about having no negative beliefs at all but having to counteract and always choosing what serves me more. my inner conversations are always me discipling myself and filing it with so much knowledge, love, and compliments.
"walk in the assumption that you are what you want to be. if you feast on that and remain faithful to that mental diet, you will crystallize it. you will become it in this world." ā± five lessons: thinking fourth-dimensionally, neville goddard
you see, there are no "magic" techniques. it is only a matter of choosing the best for yourself. nobody will do this for you. if you are not willing to work on yourself, how will you experience change in your reality in ways you prefer?
#law of assumption#neville goddard#self concept#affirm and persist#loablr#desired reality#loa#bashar#manifestation#manifesting#law of attraction#reality shifting#shifting#consciousness#spiritual awakening#that girl#divine feminine#high value woman#luxury#self worth#self help#adulting
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passion behind the mask
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pairing: Kakashi Hatake x Reader Anime: Naruto Synopsis: heās always been your senseiā¦ but something else has started to surface beneath that title
i'm new to writing so be gentle pls (eng not my first language)
Warnings: light teasing, rough sex, all characters are of age/aged up, dirty talk, fingering, against a tree
"the hokage assigned me to train you," kakashi said, his voice low and calm, eyes hidden beneath his mask. "i hope we get along. we donāt really have a choice in the matter." he extended a hand, his fingers long and relaxed.
"hi," you smiled, a hint of nervousness lingering in your words as you took his hand. his eyes seemed to pierce through you, assessing every detail.
"so, what brings you to konoha?" he asked, the question casual but his gaze sharp. "you're not from around here, are you?"
"no, iām not." you hesitated, but your voice grew steadier. "i came for knowledge... to push myself further as a shinobi. iāve heard about the techniques taught here in konoha." you locked eyes with him.
kakashi raised an eyebrow, an unreadable glint in his eyes. "i see. well, youāve come to the right place," he said, crossing his arms with an air of ease. "but, let me be clearāiām not known for being gentle with my students."
his tone was firm, but there was something almost dangerous about it, a subtle edge that made your pulse quicken. "training with me isnāt going to be easy. you sure youāre ready for that?"
"iām ready," you replied, your voice steady despite the tension in the air.
he nodded, the slightest flicker of approval in his eye. "good. letās see what youāve got." his voice lowered, becoming almost a command. "follow me to the training grounds."
you followed him, feeling the weight of his gaze as he led you. as you arrived, he turned to face you, the sun casting shadows over his features. "show me your basic jutsu. your chakra control, your speed. donāt hold back." his words were sharp, commanding.
"understood," you said, heart racing.
kakashiās gaze never left you as you centered yourself, focusing your chakra. his eyes, always sharp, watched your every move, analyzing with a precision that made you feel exposed, yet oddly encouraged.
"not bad," he commented, his voice cool and even. "but youāve got a lot of work to do. your chakra controlās a bit shaky."
you couldnāt help but steal a glance at his profileāhis sharp jawline, the way his hair caught the light. you quickly looked away, but you felt the heat rising in your cheeks, hoping he hadnāt noticed.
his voice broke your train of thought. "donāt get distracted," he warned softly, though his eyes were still assessing. "letās focus on stabilizing your chakra flow. close your eyes."
you obeyed, trying to push aside the lingering warmth you felt at his proximity. his voice came again, low and almost soothing. "visualize your chakra as a steady stream, like water flowing through a riverbed. let it flow naturally. donāt force it."
the sound of his footsteps as he circled behind you made your heart race even more. he was so close now, his presence almost overwhelming, yet his tone was calm, instructing.
"can you feel it?" he asked, his voice almost a whisper against your ear. "that warmth spreading through your body? thatās your chakra awakening."
you focused harder, trying to ignore the unsettling closeness, the tingling sensation his voice caused. slowly, you felt the steady pulse of your chakra, the flow smooth and calm.
"good," he said, his voice returning to a neutral tone, but there was something almost approving in it. "now, keep that flow steady. let it fill you completely."
you opened your eyes and turned to face him, feeling the surge of control. his gaze flickered, a brief moment of recognition in his eye as he stepped closer, his breath brushing against your skin as he placed a gloved hand on your shoulder.
"nice work," he said, his touch lingering a moment too long before he pulled away. "but remember, control is everything. in a real fight, itāll mean the difference between victory and defeat."
his fingers brushed across your collarbone, an unexpected jolt of warmth running through you. you quickly regained your composure, nodding.
"now," he continued, his voice barely above a murmur, "letās focus on your hand signs. channel your chakra outward. gather it in your palms."
he moved beside you, his arm brushing against yours, sending a shiver down your spine. "like this," he demonstrated, his body close enough that you could feel the heat from him.
you followed his instructions, focusing all your attention on the flow of chakra, trying to block out the overwhelming presence of the man beside you.
kakashiās eyes flicked to yours, his expression unreadable. "excellent," he murmured, his praise almost like a whisper. "now hold it. donāt release it yetājust let it build." his hand brushed yours again, and for a moment, everything seemed to still, his gaze intense on you.
his voice lowered, almost too soft, but the rough edge behind it betrayed him "control is everything. too much force, and you risk losing precision. too little, and the jutsu lacks power." you focus sharpened as i visualized the chakra swirling in my palms, just as kakashi instructed. the air shimmered faintly around my hands, and i could feel the energy building.
glancing at kakashi, i realized how close he was, our shoulders nearly touching. his proximity stirred something inside me, an unsettling flutter in my stomach. but i pushed it aside, refocusing on my chakra control.
he must have sensed my distractionāhis eyes flickered, lips twitching into a smirk beneath his mask. he leaned in, his breath brushing my ear as he murmured, "that's it. feel the energy build... just a little more..."
his gloved hand brushed against my lower back, the touch light, but firm. he was guiding me, urging me to engage my core muscles and steady myself. but his presence was too close, too... intimate, sending a rush of warmth through me.
"now, release it. on my signal," he said, his voice low, but commanding.
i swallowed, trying to steady my breathing as my body betrayed me. his touch grounded me, but also stirred something deep within, a strange heat that made my pulse race.
at his command, i released the chakra with a forceful burst, feeling the air crackle with energy. kakashiās hand never left my back, anchoring me through the rush of power.
"impressive," he said, his tone almost soft. "your controlās getting better."
i flushed, his praise settling warmly in my chest. "thank you, sensei."
he met my gaze, eyes darkening slightly, lingering just long enough to make my heart skip and he nodded at you. he stepped back, crossing his arms. "next, we work on stamina. you canāt be passing out mid-mission."
i nodded, the training for the day coming to an end. as he stood there, arms crossed, my eyes wandered involuntarily over his form. his muscles strained beneath his flak jacket, and i caught myself lingering on the defined lines of his shoulders before quickly looking away.
"same time tomorrow," i said, hoping my voice didnāt betray the chaos in my thoughts.
he noticed the flicker of my gaze, and his lips twitched into a knowing smile. he uncrossed his arms and adjusted his forehead protector, revealing the smooth line of his arm as he did so.
"right then. see you tomorrow." his voice dropped an octave, almost teasing. "and y/n?" he leaned in, close enough for me to feel his breath on my skin. "donāt stay up too late. youāll need your rest for what i have planned."
his words lingered too long in the air, curling around me in ways i wasnāt ready for. i felt the heat rise to my cheeks, heart stumbling over itself. noāhe couldnāt have meant it that way. he was my teacher. I was reading too much into thisā¦ right?
but as i turned to leave, i heard him add, voice rich with amusement, "try to keep your mind out of the gutter, yeah? focus on your training, not... other things."
i felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment, realizing he must have noticed more than iād wanted. hurrying away, i tried to compose myself, but thoughts of himāhis proximity, his touchākept swirling in my mind.
that night, i couldnāt help but replay every moment, the heat of his touch, the weight of his gaze. a soft sigh escaped as i curled up in bed, my body betraying me. was it just me, or had something shifted between us?
the next morning, i was still flustered, still thinking of him as i dressed, the memory of the dream i had haunting me. the way his chakra had felt against mine... and the look in his eyes. but i shoved the thoughts aside. he was my sensei.
outside, kakashi stood waiting by the training grounds, his presence as enigmatic as ever. as i approached, his eyes locked onto mine, a subtle smirk forming at the corner of his lips.
"good morning," he greeted, voice casual but the challenge in his eyes undeniable. "ready for todayās drills?"
i nodded, trying to suppress the heat building in my cheeks. i could feel his gaze on me, sharp and assessing.
"letās start with taijutsu," he said, guiding me through the movements with careful precision. his hands adjusted my stance, fingers brushing my skin, igniting something deep inside me. his touch was light, but it left me breathless, making it hard to focus.
"letās start with taijutsu," he said, his voice steady as he guided me through the movements. his hands adjusted my stance, fingers brushing lightly over my skin, sending an unexpected jolt through me. the touch was soft, but it stayed, trailing just long enough to make it hard to focus..
his voice came again, quieter now, close to my ear, "relax... feel the movement." his breath brushed the back of my neck, and for a moment, it felt as though everything else faded away, leaving only the warmth growing in my chest.
i struggled to concentrate, but every word, every movement of his hand, seemed to unravel my focus more than the last.
"good," he murmured, and the simple praise sent a rush through me. "youāre doing well. but weāll need to work on your speed."
his eyes traced my every movement, and i could feel the weight of his gaze as though it were touching me. each time our bodies brushed, my pulse would quicken. he seemed to notice every shift, every changeāhow my skin warmed, how my breath faltered.
after what felt like hours, he stepped back, his gaze still lingering on me. "well done," he said, his tone thick with something unspoken, something that made my heart skip.
he noticed the flush creeping up my neck, the way my breath came quicker. his eyes dropped lower, following the curve of my waist, drifting to where my legs met.
as much as he tried to keep his composure, he couldn't tear his eyes away, drawn to the way i moved, how my body reacted. the sight of me, sweating and breathless, seemed to leave him momentarily lost.
he noticed the confusion in my eyes, heard the way my breathing faltered, and somehow, he understood before i didāhe was driving me to the edge, unknowingly or not.
his hand moved, barely grazing my arm, the air between us shiftedāfaint, electric, and impossible to dismiss.
i felt a sudden panic, my mind racing, and for a moment, i thought he knew. i wanted to step back, but my feet wouldnāt move. "kakashi... i need to take a break," i managed to say, my voice a little too shaky.
"of course," he replied, his tone calm, though there was something unreadable behind his eyes. "take your time." he murmured under his breath, barely audible, "weāve got all day."
he watched me retreat, his gaze steady as i moved, his eyes following me as though he could sense the turmoil within me. it took everything in him not to step forward, not to pull me back, to close the distance between us. but he shook off the thought quickly, reminding himself of the boundaries, that i was his student.
a small, wry smile tugged at his lips as he turned back to the training dummy. it was hard not to wonderāwhat would it be like to feel that connection shift into something else?
he stood, unmoving now, his focus on the target before him. but his thoughts wandered, lost in images of me. his hands flexed unconsciously, fingers curling as though around a weapon he wasnāt quite sure he should use.
i should say somethingā¦ stop this before it goes any further. sheās still my student. but thereās something in her eyesāsomething far too steady for someone her age. and for a moment, itās hard to remember the line Iām supposed to hold.
his mind wanders down dangerous paths as he imagines how softy our skin would feel under his touch, how sweet your moans might sound while you come out from behind the tree and walk toward him. you try to act normal.
" soā¦i m sorry..we can resume our training, sensei"
his eyes flicker up from the training dummy, meeting yours with a calm, steady gaze. there's something unreadable in his expression - like he's seeing right through you
"we can resume... "he agrees easily, crossing his arms over his chest. "but first... "
without warning, he lunges forward, moving faster than anyone could react. in mere seconds, he has you pinned against the tree behind you - your body pressed flush against his own.
you gasp as he pins you against the tree, your heart races and your body reacts to his touch. "w-what? kakashi sensei? "
he leans closer, his breath barely skimming your ear, the kind of closeness that makes the rest of the world shrink away. his voice follows, softer than usual, but it lands low, rough around the edges, like heās not sure he should be saying it at all.
'testing your reflexesā¦'
his lips donāt quite touch your skin, but they linger near enough to make you notice every shallow breath between you. when his hand drifts down, fingers tracing the line of your waist, itās deliberateāmeasured, like heās giving you time to stop him.
'and how well you listen,' he murmurs, his palm settling just below your hip.
your breath hitches, seeing your reaction, his hand grips your ass.
i can feel the heat of his body against mine. my eyes widened, cant believe he is touching me right now. usually so composed with an unreadable emotions.
"Kakashi..Iā¦"
his grip on your ass tightens, pulling you even more firmly against him. you can feel the hard line of his arousal pressing insistently against your stomach.
"don't worry... "he murmurs, his hot breath fanning across your neck. "this isn't part of the training. at least... not yet. "
"kakashiā¦I don't think is okay what we are doing" you were feeling so aroused, he pulls back slightly, grey eyes meeting yours with a mix of concern and raw, unchecked lust. his breathing is heavy, chest rising and falling rapidly as he struggles to regain some semblance of control.
"you're right... "he admits, voice rough with need.. "this shouldn't be happening. I'm your sensei... "
but even as he says the words, his hand slides lower, fingers hooking into the elastic of your panties and tugging them aside.
"can..you take off your mask? you asked anxious because he never show his face without it. he pauses, his lips hovering just inches from yours as he considers your request. for a long moment, he remains silent, his expression unreadable behind the silver mask that has become an integral part of his persona. then, with a subtle nod, he pulls away, revealing the full expanse of his face.
"very well" with deliberate slowness, he lifts the mask, letting it dangle from one finger as he exposes the beauty mark on the left corner of his mouth, the vertical scar bisecting his left eye, and the striking contrast of his spiky silver hair against his tanned skin. he holds your gaze, his dark grey eyes piercing and intense, as if daring you to react to this rare glimpse of vulnerability.
"beautifulā¦" your fingers graze the scar, and for a moment, he's lost in the sensation, his eyes drifting closed as he savors the intimacy of the gesture. when he opens them again, they're burning with a smoldering intensity, his pupils dilated with desire.
without waiting for a response, he closes the distance between you once more, claiming your lips in a passionate kiss that speaks volumes about the depth of his feelings, his lips feeling so much better now. his hands roam over your body, mapping the curves and contours with a possessive hunger that leaves no doubt about his desire for you.
the sound of your moan sends a jolt of pleasure through him, he deepens the kiss, his tongue delving into your mouth to dance with yours in a sensual ballet of passion. one hand slides down to grasp your hip, pulling you harder against him as he grinds his erection into the cradle of your thighs.
breaking the kiss, he trails his lips along your jawline, nipping and sucking at the tender flesh as he works his way down to your neck. he inhales your scent, committing it to memory as his hands begin to roam beneath your clothing, seeking the warmth of your skin.
"tell me, Y/N... "he whispers against your ear, his breath hot and ragged. " have you ever been touched like this before? "
with surprising strength, he hoists you up, wrapping your legs around his waist as he presses you harder into the tree. his free hand finds your breast, thumb rubbing over the hardened peak of your nipple through your clothing making you moan.
ānot like thisā¦" he kiss you hard, his tongue delves into your mouth, claiming it with a fierce dominance that leaves you breathless and wanting more.
"mmmph... "he growls against your lips, breaking the kiss only to trail his mouth down the column of your throat. nipping and sucking at the sensitive skin, his hands roam your body, exploring every curve and dip with a hunger that borders on desperation. fingers deftly unfasten your top, pushing the fabric aside to expose your breasts to the cool evening air.
you gasp as he exposes your breasts, you arch your back slightly, your nipples harden under his gaze. Ā his dark grey eyes drink in the sight of your bared breasts, pupils dilating with lust. a low, appreciative rumble vibrates in his chest as he cups the soft mounds, thumbs teasing over the pebbled nipples.
"beautiful... "he murmurs, voice thick with desire. leaning in, he takes one pert nipple between his teeth, gently biting down before soothing the sting with his tongue.
as he lavishes attention on your breasts, his other hand continues its exploration, sliding beneath the hem of your skirt to cup the heat of your sex through your panties. he groans at the dampness he finds there, fingers rubbing slow circles over your clit.
you whimper softly, tilting your head back against the tree as he teases your nipples and touches you intimately. Ā he doesn't hesitate, probing your slick entrance with a finger, feeling how ready you are for him
"fuck... "he curses under his breath, adding a second finger to stretch and prepare you. "so wet already... you want this, don't you? want me inside you".
"yesā¦" with a low, primal growl, he surges forward, burying his throbbing length deep within your welcoming heat. your tight walls clench around him, drawing him in further as he starts to move, setting a slow but deep pace that has you gasping and writhing against the tree.
"so tight... "he grunts, hips snapping forward to meet your eager thrusts. one hand grips your hip, holding you steady as the other reaches up to palm your breast, rolling the nipple between his fingers.
"ahhh fuck" you moans loudly as he pounds into you, you wrap your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper as you cling to his shoulders. your nails dig into his skin as pleasure coils tighter and tighter in your core.
"more...harder...please" you beg shamelessly, lost in the intensity.his grip on your hip tightens almost painfully as he drives into you with increased ferocity, the sound of flesh slapping against flesh echoing through the forest. sweat beads on his brow, mixing with the silver strands of hair that fall across his forehead.
"you have no idea how good you feel "he pants harshly, the tip of his cock hitting that sweet spot inside you with every thrust. His thumb finds your clit, rubbing fast circles over the sensitive nub as he chases your impending climax. "come for me, Y/N...now... "
your scream of pleasure pushes him over the edge. with a final, brutal thrust, he buries himself to the hilt and erupts inside you, filling you with wave after wave of hot seed. he holds you close, panting heavily as he rides out the aftershocks of his intense orgasm.
"fuck...that was... "he trails off, struggling to find words amidst the haze of post-coital bliss. slowly, he pulls out, watching with a mix of pride and trepidation as his cum leaks out of your well-used pussy. "we should probably get cleaned up before someone finds us like this... "he suggests, trying to sound casual despite the lingering desire in his gaze.
"yes.. "looks down at the evidence of your passionate encounter dripping down your thighs. feeling vulnerable. you two just fucked. you and your sensei. the kakashi hatake.
he notices your gaze drifting to the mess between your legs and feels a pang of something unfamiliar - concern, perhaps, or even affection. shaking off the unexpected emotions, he steps closer, offering you a hand to help you clean up.
Ā "thank you" and he gives your hand a brief squeeze before releasing it, tucking himself back into his pants and straightening his flak jacket. "no need to thank me, Y/N. that was... mutual, to say the least. "
clearing his throat, he attempts to regain some composure, though his eyes still linger on yours with an unreadable expression. "now, let's get moving before we attract any unwanted attention. i'm supposed to be training you, after all. "
you nodded at him and preparing for heading Ā back to village.
"and maybe keep this little tryst between us, hmm? for both our sakes. "his voice is firm, attempting to maintain a sense of normalcy, but there's a hint of softness in his tone that wasn't there before.
with that, he sets off through the trees, expecting you to follow. despite the unconventional start to your partnership, he can't deny the spark of excitement at the prospect of guiding such a fiery, passionate individual as yourself.
Wattpad link
#smut#kakashi smut#kakashi x reader#kakashi hatake#kakashi sensei#kakashi fanart#naruto#itachi smut#oneshot#naruto oneshot#sasuke smut#sasuke x hinata#sasuke x sakura#sasuke uchiha#naruto smut#naruto fanfiction#itachi x reader#itachi naruto#minato namikaze#pain naruto#anime smut
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ā ļø! Major Sonic Movie 3 Spoilers Ahead !ā ļø
MY BABY BOY!!!!
And Amy too!
All jokes aside, I just got finished watching Sonic 3, and here's my honest review.
I loved this movie, It was an all around fun time with Amazing action scenes, Gorgeous visuals, and an unsurprisingly compelling story.
Shadow was of course a huge highlight of this film for me, And Keanu did just as amazingly as I expected him to. What I didn't expect was Jim Carry to surprise me as much as he did, Gerald was a surprisingly Compelling villain, It was Lowkey menacing at times, and really felt like a threat, Though when he wasn't doing that he was being Jim Carry and that kind of Bumped down his intimidation factor, though not by much.
I had to stop myself from jumping out of my seat every time Live and Learn played, even though I knew I'd be in the movie it still Delighted me every time it showed up.
As everyone hoped, the human characters were kept to a minimum and I feel the time they were on screen was used well, And they honestly got me with Tom's injury, I really thought they'd kill him off for a minute.
I was not expecting how much They'd use the super forms, as they were in them for pretty much the whole third act. Sonic and Shadow's fight was Honestly stunning, but also a bit haunting seeing Sonic essentially go full Fleetway on Shadow during it.
They killed off the Olive Garden guy, that honestly made me a little sad.
And as made clear before, I was overjoyed to see my darling baby boy Metal Sonicāand Amyāat the end, and I can't wait to see what they do in the fourth movie. They can either go with a Plot inspired by Sonic CD or by the looks of the Post credits scene, Sonic Heroes. Though likely they'll do a mix of both.
All in all, I loved the movie, and will be watching it 5011,000 more times.
Also that Scene of Sonic and Shadow on the moon watching the Sunrise was Gay as Shit!
#sonic the hedgehog#sth#shadow the hedgehog#amy rose#metal sonic#sonic movie#sonic 3#sonic movie 3#sonic movie 3 spoilers#i love it#my baby#and amy#sonadow
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How the heck do I make a system? A brief introduction
This guide includes brief mentions of suicide and brief descriptions of abuse.
Hi there! My name is Arthur, and I'm a tulpa of the Fluffy Crew. If you're here, I'm assuming you're a singlet who doesn't know much about system creation (but has interacted with the plural community), and wants to intentionally create fully separate headmates. If you're not that, you're welcome here too, but I'm writing with that audience in mind. This will be a long one, so everything else is under the cut.
First, I want you to ask yourself, am I ready to make a system? Becoming a system is a big decision. You are going to be sharing your mind, including the most intimate and private parts, with other people 24/7, for the rest of your life. You will have to give up some of your time and energy to the rest of your system, and more than some if you plan on having them interact with the outside world at all. If you consider all of that and you decide being a system isn't something you want, that's okay. This is a deeply personal decision, and nothing you should be forced into. I highly recommend waiting until adulthood before making this decision, but I also can't exactly stop you.
(suicide and abuse mention in this paragraph) Second, I want you to ask yourself, WHY do I want to be a system? Is it something selfish? Is it going to hurt myself or my headmates? All reasons are going to be a little selfish, and that's okay. But consider what your goals are. Do you want a friend? Do you want to know if this is even real? Do you have an interest in mind hacking and find this really cool? These are "selfish" reasons, but they aren't malicious. When you cross the line into goals that hurt one of you that's the trouble spot. A lot of people want to become plural and switch because they're overwhelmed with the world and want escapism. Others want to force their headmates to fill specific roles, such as being a partner or their favorite character. I've heard of too many systems where the host destroys their own personality and leaves their created headmate alone as an alternative to suicide. Your headmate is a conscious person who can be hurt just like you. If you can't act like a responsible person who can respect and cooperate with their headmates as equals, I suggest not becoming a system until you can.
But let's say you decide that, yep. You 100%, beyond a shadow of a doubt, want to be a system, and you're not doing it to have a brain slave or to withdraw from the world. Do you have someone already in mind? A base can definitely help your mind latch on, but it isn't necessary. A base can be anything from a whole character, to a few personality traits in a list, to just a name and gender. Keep in mind, your headmate will likely diverge from this. A good host encourages this, nurturing a headmate's self-expression.
Speaking of being a good host, there is a certain mindset you should keep in mind. You are here to nurture and help your created headmates grow. You're going to have to be gentle with your mental presence sometimes, especially in the beginning where your personality can accidentally easily dominate. But don't feel like you have to lesser yourself to greater your headmates. You can all grow and become greater together.
Now, we are going to focus and form ONE headmate. For the love of god, do not do what we did and create four at once. Its overwhelming and leads to a lot of guilt over not spending enough time with everyone, speaking from experience. If you are starting with a base, dedicate any traits and visuals to memory. If you aren't, it may help to create a simple visual form to focus on when interacting with them. In tulpamancy, a ball of light is a traditional choice, but you can choose anything you can think of. Visual forms are not necessary for creation, but many enjoy the ability to visualize them and interact in headspace. Headspace creation will not be gone over here.
In my opinion, the best way to start is an introduction. Feel the space in your mind where they are, or at least try to. You are going to direct your thoughts to this space, your headmate. If they have a visual form, visualize it as vividly as you can. Introduce yourself to them, and explain your intention of creating a system. Explain that they are a headmate of yours, and the form you are visualizing is theirs to control. If they have a base, explain who they are and tell them that they are that base, though they are free to change it. Invite them to respond back, and keep an open mind.
Try to spend time with your headmate every day, as much as you can. You are having to build the mental connections that form your headmate by hand, and that takes a LOT of repetition. Spending time with them could be a lot of things. It could be speaking with them as you go about your day, immersing yourself in headspace with them, working on a new system skill, playing a game together, or just hanging out. Try to be varied in the type of interaction you do.
Eventually, you will start getting responses. These probably won't be words at first. More likely, they'll be an emotional response that feels "alien" and "not you", a sense of pressure in your head, or a raw thought or feeling that isnt yours. It can be difficult to hear their responses, especially if you have a busy mind. You have to try not to block out their thoughts from appearing, as especially in the beginning that's easy to do. Their responses may sound like you at first, but that will get better with time and practicing separation.
Now, there isnt exactly one way to form a headmate, and you should experiment on your own to find what works best for you and your system. We theorize the most basic mechanism for created plurality is your brain being allowed to think as someone who isn't the host, over and over, until it happens subconsciously. The difference between a headmate and an imaginary friend or character is autonomy. Wren used to daydream constantly but it didn't lead to a system because they didn't allow their characters any freedom of thought. It was all very much puppeteering. When they started roleplaying, they allowed the characters to "think" on their own, imagining what their emotions and thoughts would be, separate from theirs. This eventually caused me and the other original three to start forming, due to that freedom of thought. Anything that allows your headmate to gain that autonomous thought is just as valid as any other method.
How long development could take varies a lot. Some people are more predisposed to be plural, and become a system easier and quicker than others. Some people have a really hard time becoming plural, and it takes a lot more effort and time to become a system. Singlets who already talk to themselves, have dissociative tendencies, are easily hypnotized, and are creative storytellers tend to have a high disposition for being plural. It could take as short as a week, or as long as years. Average times are around 3-6 months with dedicated work. It took us 18 months to feel confident in saying we were a fully realized system, but we also struggled with motivation and dedication.
The most common system goal is to have fully-realized independent headmates who can operate without their host's help and do not fade without interaction. The best way to get to this stage is just time. Keep spending time with them and living your life together. Treat them as independent, and they will become independent quicker. Your expectations shape a lot of your experiences when it comes to system creation.
I'm not going to cover any more advanced techniques like switching or headspace creation in this guide, as this is meant to be a jumping-off point for beginners. This is our first attempt at a guide and would love to improve. If you have any comments or questions, please feel free to reach out!
Have a wonderful day, and I wish you the best of luck on your system journey!
#plural#system#plural system#pluralgang#created system#tulpamancy#willogenic#parogenic#plural community#endo safe#plurality#pro endo#pro tulpa#guides#How to#paromancy#willomancy#cw sui mention#cw abuse mention#Resources
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manifesting an SP is so easy, what do you mean??
I'm not saying this as a mind saturation thing. I genuinely believe, know and can explain why manifesting someone is easy because I've done it before and it's just too funny girl.
here's the link to my manifestation success stories.
R E A L I T Y C H E C K : :
here is some education before you jump into manifesting an SP. thought transmission / telepathy is real and happens to us all the time. have you ever noticed that there seems to be a universal experience where you can talk to someone and feel drained or have the random intuition that someone cannot be trusted despite nothing happening between the two of you?? you are picking up on their energy, especially the energy of what is inside their minds. have you ever witnessed a person being so magnetic for some reason?? but have you also observed a person at rock bottom and saw their repell?? have you noticed how different your social experiences were when you were confident VS insecure?? this all counts as thought transmission, alignment and telepathy.
It doesn't even have to be for people. people can attract money into their lives too. money should be seen as an energy, because the physical object of money is just green paper but money's place in the world is basically the amplifier of who people are. people can save lives or pay to destroy it. so money is not evil, stop fearing and rejecting the attraction of money because of this!! are YOUR intentions evil?? no. so you deserve the money wtf!? same goes for your crush. are you desperate?? needy for his valuable time for the self-absorbtion of your own scarcity?? no? so you'll get him. stop over thinking.
one time my first and most hopeless crush messaged me for HOURSS even if I already transferred schools this year, and he said some sweet things and one of them was a confession that he liked me during the 1st and 2nd month of school. I liked him during the 2nd to 4th. and I didn't even know why I liked him. so he just got me the moment he detached. lmao.
M A N I F E S T H I M !!
do the inner-work.
once you like someone, just acknowledge it. don't be so afraid of admiring someone because how are you supposed to attract them? let yourself be giddy, happy and excited that you know them. be so detached in all of this that nothing is scary. why TF would it be.. I also did shadow work where I would find out things about myself. my most recent SP, I tried to talk to them once but then found something off about it and then reflected on an "independence" quality I had in myself that came from my household. damnn. so I prioritized my self-concept with it.
detachment.
then, you can put them off the pedestal and put yourself on it. how I navigate it: I basically wonder WHY I like this person and find qualities about them that I am fond of. psychologically, you are attracted to someone because of their polarity, or the things about them that you are missing in yourself. so I figure this out and incorporate this into my own self-growth. if it weren't for that stupid SP I had once, I would probably stay a homebody instead of a socialite. this is a link from angelwxnny about it btw. this aligns me to my desires.
law of assumption.
then, in the meantime, I'd do the conscious manifestation. I can glance at them, and start visualizing a scene in my head that would make me feel loved. my most recent SP is him just saying that he loved me over and over until I felt satisfied. the whole key of manifestation is just being satisfied in the 4D that you're content in the 3D and it'll all gravitate towards you.
You can also affirm what you see and feel in the 4D. you should affirm gratitude a lot. when you keep thinking about him for some reason, go switch the narrative and think "ohhh he must be thinking about me right now because why am I thinking of him!?" trust me. one time I entered a room with a clear mind but then got heavied with the only thought in mind being someone's name. this guy was talking about his crush and it was me.
law of attraction.
I keep talking about self-concept all the time. please, it's the best frking thing in the world. I use my SPs as leverages for my self-concept even. since I use them as inspiration to grow, I already feel as if. I had no wavering at all because the momentum of liking someone is really active that I kept getting confidence boosts here and there. it's easy, and honestly so much fun y'all.
And then I manifest!! easyyy!!
#dream life#loassblog#manifesting#master manifestor#quantum jumping#self concept#just girly things#law of assumption#it girl#law of manifestation#law of attraction#loassumption#manifest it#manifestation#2025#new year new me#it girl aesthetic
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