#you would think drawing him would invoke feelings within my but it doesnt because*i* made it
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i msiss him so much
my drawings are but a crude shadow cast by the real tuing.....
#you would think drawing him would invoke feelings within my but it doesnt because*i* made it#so i dont see him i see my terrible shadow puppet portrait. all suspension of disbelief is lost#it honestly just makes me 10x more critical of my skill#playing in a musical group is such a different form of art because hearing myself as a small part in a whole group playing beautifully#is like. an otherworldly experience. its amazing its so moving.#whereas seeing visual art ive made. even if im proud of it i feel absolutely nothing .#i might feel a little pride or relief at finishing or improving .#i will absolutely feel dissatisfaction and disappointment at its imperfections#but it will never move me like art that somebody else has made will#kinda disappointing
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