#[man lying dead on the floor emoji]

[relaxxattack]

hello! i am here because im very much a quadranT enThusiasT. im curious: have you heard of alTerous aTTracTion? To me iT seems preTTy pale and id like To hear whaT you Think :]

i have heard of that! to me alterous attraction is very similar to queerplatonic attraction in that it's an intentionally queer nebulous thing that hang out outside of actual defined boundaries.

i don't think that moirallegiance is actually queer or outside of any social boundaries for trolls... it's just a regular old, government mandated or biologically mandated, normative relationship.

moirallegiance is something normal for trolls that they feel a romantic impulse for. it's a separate branch off from their romance, the same way blackrom is-- but i never see people jumping to describe kismeses as qpps. simply because humans are better at understanding something is "real" romance when they explicitly have sex lol -_-

moirallegiance is still a strong romantic feeling for a troll even though they don't have sex, basically.

however.... i can run myself into the ground talking about this over and over, and it won't change the fact that for (most) humans, moirallegiance is something alterous or platonic! and in the end that's okay. relationships, sexuality and romance can't easily be defined or have boundaries put on it no matter how much explaining someone does.

yeah, maybe for humans having a moirail WOULD feel like a strange alterous middleground between platonic and romantic, because a moirallegiance has elements from human platonic friendship and romantic partnership. maybe for some people it would be exactly like a qpp even! the thing is relationships are dependent on the people in them, and different for every single person.

so really there's no use for me trying to explain why moirails are different than qpps or anything, because for most humans, they're probably not. and maybe at the end of the day that's fine and i shouldn't be wasting that much energy anyway lol ^^;

although, no matter how much i try i can't not be annoyed when people equate moirallegiance to platonic best friendship. it's dumb and nerdy of me but like come on, multiple trolls in the comic have said otherwise... T^T

[mother-of-houseplants-2]

i miss my ex and i don't know how to feel about it.

he wasn't good to me. he was the kind of man who didn’t listen when i said "no," touched me when i was sick and delirious and didn't want to be touched, didn't care to know me beyond the version of me he had in his head, treated me like i was just another side character in the grand bildungsroman of his life. which is... bad. i'm learning that it's bad. i'm learning to come to terms with the fact that he hurt me, perhaps irreparably. he changed me.

but i miss him. he was funny. he had the best kermit impression in the world. he felt a deep connection to birds; the first animal he ever had to bury was a sparrow he found dead in his backyard. he was nice. be bought me the most beautiful flowers. he always offered to hold my hand because my fingers were always cold. even when it was winter and he didn't have gloves and i did. he'd still cover my whole hand in his so mine would stay protected from the cold.

he liked joyce and shelley and faulkner and adichie. he liked house of leaves and old japanese indie games and the song can i call you rose. he could always talk his way out of a bind. he stood up for other people, even if he didn't do it in all the right ways. he rode his bike across the state and told me he loved me while lying, half delirious, in a cornfield in the middle of nowhere.

and i miss him. i miss the lines around his mouth when he smiled. i miss the softness of his hands. i miss getting pictures of the sunrise while i was just falling asleep. i miss long texts that always ended with a little saturn emoji and new poems in my inbox every week. i miss his smell - sandalwood and honey and oud, like a candle i once smelled crouched on a grocery store floor. i miss walking with him by the river, the way he first laughed when i was frightened by geese, then shielded me from them.

he has a job downtown now, and a dog named kevin. he lives in a brand new apartment i've never seen. i don't know how his grandparents are doing, or his elderly neighbor back home. or the fish in the stream by his father’s house. or his cat. i haven't heard a silly poem about a pelican in months.

i don't miss the press of his lips on my skin, or the tightness in my chest when i saw him come my way. i don't miss the way he touched me. or talked to me, sometimes, like i was nothing but a figment of his imagination. but i miss him. god. i miss him.

[fahatesyou]

De-aged!Max, short drabble. Non Explicit. (Maxiel)

The kid stares at him.

When Daniel looks down to the boy's hands he makes a pained noise and holds Daniel's helmet tighter to his chest; it's the one with the pink and glitter on it. Daniel remembers him, a vague memory inside his head that he couldn't really picture even if he tried. Daniel knows he met Max when Max was younger; they shook hands back in his torturous rookie days filled with thousands of other stupid promotions and awkward meetings. He saw the photos too, when they resurfaced from place in the bottom of the internet after Max was announced as his new team mate. 

Daniel is sure; this has to be Max. Kid Max. Boy Max. A chubby faced blonde boy standing in the middle of his living room caught red handed. 

"Hey," Daniel murmurs, not really sure if he's dreaming, or if he's dead. Or maybe Max is dead, maybe he crashed while Daniel was sleeping and his younger soul came to say goodbye. Maybe this is a visit from Max's wandering soul to say farewell to their little secret den. Maybe Max was thinking of Daniel as he lost control of his car and that's why he's stuck in this version of himself, the one Max was way before he grew up and became a man that liked women and won world championships.

"Max, a—are you, is, is it really you?" Daniel stutters. 

The boy, Max, looks at him with wild eyes after he hears Daniel say his name and drops the helmet to the floor. The loud crack of the material startles Daniel, he takes a step back, nervous and on his toes, not really knowing what the boy will do. 

"Don't tell my papa," Max whispers, pulling the end of his shirt and wiping his hands on it like he touched something dirty. "I was only looking." 

Daniel shakes his head quickly, raising both hands in truce.  

My papa. 

Shit.

If Max's father from another dimension comes out of Daniel's kitchen or something, then he may actually drop dead right in the spot. Or end up in jail. 

"It's okay, mate." Daniel soothes him. He tries smiling but boy Max doesn't smile back. "It's a pretty cool, right?, it's good, don't worry." 

Boy Max frowns, and then looks down at Daniel's helmet lying on the floor. Daniel thinks for a second that Max will pick it up, but the thought gets thrown out of the window soon as Max's shoe hits the visor and makes the helmet fly to the other side of the room.

"Well, shit." Daniel says, frowning back at the Max from a different timeline. "That was rude as fuck." 

"I want my papa," Boy Max grunts, crossing his arms over his chest, his face flushing pink. "Call my papa, now." He orders Daniel, like it's Daniel's fault he's here and not wherever he should be at. Or whenever. Shit.

It must be a sign from God or something, but as soon as the words leave the kid's mouth, Daniel's phone starts blasting the loud new stupid ringtone Michael installed on it as a joke a few days ago.

"Shit," Daniel curses. He stares back at mini Max trying to seem commanding and holds a warning finger towards him, "Don't move." 

Daniel runs to his room and rushes towards his phone resting on the bed; a bad habit that has cost him a few screens.

It's Max, his name written next to the tongue emoji that Max put on there when he saved his number on Daniel's phone years ago.

"Max?," Daniel whispers in panic, a weird feeling flooding his body as he considers he may be going crazy for real. It doesn't feel like a dream. The kid looked fucking real and alive. And Daniel hasn't been this awake since he was born, probably. 

"Daniel," Max says, sounding like he just saw a fucking ghost. "Daniel, you, you—you're never gonna believe me. Please, listen, ju—just, listen to me, please." 

Daniel feels a cold wind hit the back of his neck, some tingling sensation of a pair of eyes on him. He looks over his shoulder and almost faints when the kid is there, holding a small butter knife so tightly his knuckles are white. Max is shaking like a leaf, but so is Daniel, and he realizes the weapon of the boy he curses at his old self for being too lazy after eating those croissants.

"I want to go home," Boy Max says, and Daniel is so overwhelmed by the insanity of the situation it takes him a few seconds to realize the kid's face is wet with tears, "I want to go back, now." He growls at Daniel, shaking the silverware in his hand as a treat.

For fucks sake.

"I do, " Daniel sighs to the other side of the line. He presses the speaker button and holds the phone towards the Dutch murder baby in front of him. "so you better fucking believe me too. And put the fucking butter knife down." 

[jungshookz]

🧦 stocking stuffers: yoongi’s being annoying as per usual

stocking stuffers are basically the holiday equivalent of teeny tidbits :D i just wanted to give you guys a little something to tide you over while you’re waiting for the second drabble! also yes that is a sock emoji there was no stocking emoji sUE ME 

this started off at five hundred words and quickly spiralled into two thousand words but it’s not good enough to stand alone as a proper drabble so i’m counting it as a puny stocking stuffer drabble

pairing; demon!yoongi x y/n

genre; sfw for the most part but there are some suggestive themes because this is demon!yoongi after all <3 

what to expect; “ooh, i love it when you get mouthy with me... it turns me on.” 

wordcount; 2.3k

                                      »»————-　🎄   ————-««

“i don’t even know why we’re decorating this stupid thing. we’re going to be throwing it out by the end of the month.” yoongi grumbles, tossing a handful of fake snow onto the tree a little too aggressively before shoving his hand back into the bag

this sucks

when he woke up this morning you told him that you guys would be spending the entire day decorating the apartment for christmas and his morning wood immediately deflated

in fact he’s pretty sure his penis might’ve shrivelled up and died at your words

it doesn’t make any sense

you’re like.,., 25% demon!

you’re supposed to hate christmas because it’s literally the day of christ, but here you are, wearing what has to be the ugliest sweater he’s ever seen in his entire life (it lights up. what kind of a sweater lights up?!) while happily hanging baubles on this poor tree that should be out in nature and definitely not in this apartment  

“oh, cut it out, you grouch.” you scowl playfully, already fully aware as to why yoongi’s so grumpy today, “decorating is fun! and our presents are going to look so pretty under the tree-”

“y/n?” jungkook pokes his head out from the kitchen and you turn to look at him, “i’m gonna need you to help out with the gingerbread house. construction isn’t going great. there’s frosting everywhere and i ate most of the m&ms. and one of the gingerbread men is missing a head because i got hungry.”

“are you seri- i asked you to do one thing, kook-” you frown, jungkook smiling sheepishly before not so subtly popping an m&m into his mouth, “get back in the kitchen! i’ll join you in a second.”

jungkook pops back into the kitchen and you let out a hopeless little sigh before slowly turning to look at yoongi 

he pauses right as he’s about to sprinkle some more snow onto the branches and narrows his eyes at you, “…why are you looking at me like that?”

“will you finish decorating the tree while i help jungkook?” you turn to look at yoongi before pushing your bottom lip out in a pleading little pout, “please?” 

“what?? no way!” yoongi scowls, immediately dropping the bag of fake snow onto the floor with a thump, “the only reason why i agreed to do this was because it’s more bearable when we do it together- i’m not decorating this tree alone, that’s just pathetic-”

“aw, c’mon-”

“i’ll just wait for you to finish with the gingerbread house and then we’ll continue with the tree-”

“but we have to follow my schedule!” you whine, grabbing your notepad off the couch before pointing at the next thing on your list, “see? 1:00 to 2:00 - decorate the tree. 2:00 to 2:30 - hang the lights out on the balcony- and it’s already 1:30, yoon-”

“for the love of-” yoongi huffs, “okay, fine! fine, i’ll- i’ll decorate the damn tree alone.” yoongi snatches the box of baubles from you but the faintest of smiles twitches at his mouth when you lean in to squish an appreciative kiss to his cheek

the thought of completely burning the tree down while you’re gone briefly flits through his mind but he squashes that thought quickly

he’ll be good for you 

he can behave!

                                     »»————-　🎄   ————-««

“don’t eat the gum drops, i’ll be right-” you step out of the kitchen and your eyes widen to the size of saucers when you see yoongi floating in mid-air, carefully wrapping the christmas lights around the tree, “yoongi!” you hiss quietly, hurrying over to him before reaching up and wrapping your fingers around his ankle, “yoongi, what the hell are you doing-?!”

“i’m wrapping the damn tree in these lights and we don’t have a ladder-” yoongi wobbles a little when you give him another harsh yank and he glances down to see you looking warily at the kitchen door

heh

you’re... anxious.

he can feel wafting it in the air and it smells so good

maybe he can have a little bit of fun with this…

“so use a chair or something! yoongi, i thought we agreed that if jungkook was here that you wouldn’t do anything non-humany-!” you jump when yoongi suddenly drops the pile of lights into your arms before lying back and folding his arms behind his head

oh god

he’s not going to get down anytime soon

also the only reason why you haven’t told jungkook about the fact that yoongi is most definitely not from this world is because he would pass out from complete and utter petrification

you don’t know how he’s going to be able to handle a spawn of satan when the man is scared of fruit flies!!!!

you’re planning to keep everything a secret until the day you die

(you’re also hoping that the day you pop one of yoongi’s babies out that it doesn’t come out with tiny red horns on its head because you feel like jungkook wouldn’t take that very lightly)

“down. now!” you snap, bending down to set the lights down on the ground so you can go and follow yoongi, “i’m serious, yoongi!” 

“oh, relax.” yoongi sighs, “he’s in the kitchen, we’re in the living room…” you frown disapprovingly when he tilts his head back so that his face is right in front of yours before flashing you a grin, “now, why don’t you wipe that frown off your face and give me a kiss?” he purses his lips obnoxiously and squawks when you shovE your face into his hand

hey!

rude!!

“i’m not going to give you anything until you get down-”

“aw, but decorating the apartment would be so much easier if you just let me do my thing!” yoongi pushes himself all the way up so that he’s next to the ceiling fan, “i can even do some much needed dusting while i’m up here!”

“min yoongi, if you don’t get down right now-” you hop up onto the couch and reach up to grab his foot onLY for yoongi to pull his legs up and cross them, “you know exactly what you’re doing, you sadistic freak-”

“ooh, i love it when you get mouthy with me,” yoongi wiggles his eyebrows, chuckling to himself when you start hopping up and down to try to get closer to him, “it turns me on.”

“that means nothing to me because you get turned on by everything-” you grumble, your fingers barely brushing over his ankle as you keep trying to grab him, “like that one time you were watching me eat ice cream-”

“uhhhh, excuse me-” yoongi scoffs, rolling his eyes, “there was white cream dripping down your chin. obviously i got turned on-”

“hey, if you come down now, i promise to do that thing that you said you wanted to do…” you offer, looking up at yoongi with wide eyes before clasping your hands together, “c’mon… isn’t that a good deal?”

yoongi shakes his head and sticks his tongue out at you, “nice try, you scammer. i’m not falling for that again-”

your shoulders immediately drop and you watch helplessly as he floats over so that he’s near the kitchen door

you really wished that inheriting some of yoongi’s aura gave you the power to float as well

all it gave you was the ability to sometimes make your eyes go black

suRE your stamina in bed has improved significantly and you can keep your engine running from sunset to sunrise but that’s not as cool as FLOATING in mid-air

“do not.” you shoot yoongi a glare when he makes a motion to open the kitchen door

“what if i…” yoongi grins, pretending to knock against the door, “oh, look at your face! you don’t like that, do you? you poor, helpless little thing...” he coos, rolling over onto his back with a laugh

oh god

you haTE THIS

“you know i-” your heart practically drops out of your ass when the door suddenly swinGs open and jungkook steps out with frosting all over his hands

“okay, i know you said not to touch anything, but one of the walls were starting to droop so i thought i’d reinforce it with a little more frosting, buT i squeezed too hard and the bag exploded-”

you swallow thickly when yoongi lowers himself a little all while maintaining strong eye contact with you, propping his chin up on his palm before the corners of his mouth turn up in a grin

you ball your hands into tight fists when yoongi blinks and his pupils turn into thin red slits

great! now his creepy demon eyes are out!

okay

you know what?

it’s fine

relax!

you know he’s taunting you on purpose but it’s not like he’s actually going to do anything-

“DON’T-!” you jump off the couch when yoongi wiggles his fingers directly above jungkook’s head, a couple tendrils of his hair starting to float upwards

“okay, jeez!” jungkook raises both hands in defence before scoffing lightly, “i said i’d offer to help clean up but since you obviously don’t want my help then maybe you can get yoongi to help-“ jungkook pauses, glancing over by the tree, “hey, where’d he go? i heard his voice like a second before i came out-”

“he’s dead!” you blurt out, jungkook’s eyes widening immediately

(improvisation has never been one of your strong suits)

yoongi lies down on his back before crossing his arms over his chest and closing his eyes, all while floating mere inches above jungkook’s head 

“i mean… he’s… dead-finitely in the washroom.” you correct yourself, trying to hide the complete and utter angeR on your face when yoongi peels open one eye before turning his head and blowing a silent kiss at you, “because he… had to pee. like any other normal human being does when their bladder is full.” 

“that was a very... non-human being way to answer a question.” jungkook snorts, “what’s wrong with you?”

“i just... don’t want you to get your grubby frosting hands anywhere!” you clear your throat, letting out a sheepish chuckle before rushing over to jungkook, “why don’t you start cleaning up and i’ll join you in a sec?”

“but my hands are still covered in frosting-”

“uh-huh, sounds good!” you slap your hands down on jungkook’s shoulders before spinning him around and practically shoVing him back into the kitchen

you close the door before looking up so you can grab yoongi by the collar and pull him-  

?

yoongi is… no longer there. 

the christmas lights on the tree flicker before buzzing out 

okay

so he wants to play games, does he?

“yoongi?” you spin around quickly before walking forwards cautiously, carefully inspecting every inch of the room for any sign of your nightmare of a boyfriend

you jump in surprise when a bauble suddenly falls off the tree and bounces on the floor before rolling over to your feet 

“you think you’re so funny, don’t you?” you mumble, bending down to pick it up before gently placing it down on the coffee table 

i’m fucking hilarious, baby. i like to think that’s part of the reason as to why you love me so much. 

“what the-!” you jolt at the sound of yoongi’s voice suddenly echoing in your head 

the last time he was in your head like this was when you summoned him for the first time which was definitely a while ago 

you forgot how weird it was to hear his voice inside your head

“i certainly don’t love you right now, i can say that for sure.” you grumble, “it’s safe to say that i actually hate you right now-” 

you look really sexy when you’re mad at me. why don’t you meet me in the bathroom for a quickie? jungkook will never know. i’ll even cover your mouth with my hand so he won’t hear anything.

you look over quickly when the door to the guest bathroom suddenly creaks open 

ahA 

“yeah, i’ll meet you in the bathroom... to kick your ass-” you storm over, kicking the door open only to see that there’s no one in there, “and then when i’m done kicking your ass, i’m gonna kick your ass again-”

ooh, are we finally experimenting with pain now? i can definitely get into that. i can use your bobby pins as makeshift nipple clamps. 

“you are infuriating!” you snap, placing your hands on your hips and looking up at the ceiling 

you know that being playful is just part of yoongi’s nature but good GOD 

sometimes you just want to strangle him

and not in the kinky way 

at this point it looks like you’re going to have to pull out what might be the most predictable trick in your book but you’re desperate here

you need to sort this out before jungkook comes out to see you talking to yourself like a crazy person 

yeah, that’s right. keep thinking about how annoying i am and how much that pisses you off. angry sex is super hot. 

“oh yeah?” you stroll towards the middle of the living room, taking your time to do so, “you think so?” 

hell yeah. i want you to be on top, too. i love the view.  

“i’ll do... whatever you want me to do...” you trail off, eyes flickering around the room for any sign of movement, “but if you don’t come out in the next five seconds, it’s just going to be you and your hand for the next five days- oh-!” 

it’s only a second later that you’re suddenly being pummelled into from behind

you definitely would’ve fallen face first onto the floor if it wasn’t for yoongi wrapping his arms around your waist from behind, “finally! there you are-” 

“depriving me of sex during the holidays??” yoongi whines, digging his fingers into your waist, “now look who’s being the asshole-”

see??

oldest trick in the book but it still works like a charm :’) 

christmas with cee 2020 masterlist

[mojaves]

sorry for my behaviour but all of hearts for marcus <3

youre both going to kill me dead on the ground with this one. thanks!

💓 BEATING HEART - what gets their heart racing?

literally any even slightly romantic thought makes him go :bonk emoji: he can't deal with it. he imagines someone holding his hand for .5 seconds and he's on the floor. and then sometimes nothing even remotely romantic or anything happens, jason just smiles at him and then he becomes a puddle of sludge. he loves affection but the poor man cannot handle it at all at the same time. he's trying SO hard to be normal about it but it's not working. you know that one post that was like "i wrote my crush a note that just said 'get out of my school.'" thats him. thats him.

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

someone who's funny, most importantly. if he can't laugh with them then he is OUT of there. taller than him also preferably bc he is a short little man who wants to be lifted up and held SO bad. also obviously someone who's genuine, which is very funny considering danny cheats on him and also jason has been lying about his name the whole time. one is significantly less terrible than the other but. HEHggh. anyway. all he wants is someone who's kind and will love him for who he is and will not get annoyed when he goes off on his tenth rant of the day about stroads.

he doesn't believe in love at first sight - again kind of funny bc the first time he saw jason he became a little fruit and it was over for him. not necessarily love, just like. a weird jealousy??? that turned into an appreciation. that then turned into love. YA KNOW.

💗 GROWING HEART - if they have a crush, is it noticable? what changes when they're in love?

OH IT IS VEEEEEEEERY NOTICABLE. HE'S NOT SUBTLE AT ALL. jason is just SO oblivious it's not even funny. he can't make eye contact, he gets easily flustered by any sort of smile, or touch, or Anything. again. he turns into a puddle of sludge. he goes a little bit insane, he daydreams a lot. he wants to talk to them nonstop and spend as much time with them as possible - which is Awfully convenient for him in this situation. in each other's company 24/7 like a dream come true.

but at the same time he's trying so hard to convince himself that it's NOT a crush, and he doesn't deserve a relationship, it's all just circumstance. these feelings mean Nothing. all of it is just a weak defense tactic at stopping himself from getting hurt, but he's SO in love that it kind of. immediately destroys any sort of wall he put up in the first place.

❤️ RED HEART - their love language(s)?

quality time and physical touch 10000000% he LOVES being held. and holding hands. and getting little kisses planted all over his face. it ALWAYS makes him feel better. always. he is like a little teddy bear

💙 BLUE HEART - do they miss their s/o easily? how do they act when their s/o isn't around?

DEFINITELY they've been in each other's company for SO long that jason not being there for whatever reason feels Wrong, like a chunk of him is missing. he tries to be happy and get on with his day, but he does mope about a LOT. whenever he's at the apartment eating ice cream morgan and lou just KNOW jason has gone somewhere they don't even need to ask. which is something that has happened at least 10 times now.

💚 GREEN HEART - what things make your oc feel comforted? hugs, kisses, food?

HUGS. KISSES. HAND HOLDING. being wrapped up in jason's arms. just his whole presence. it makes him feel safe, warm. he's marcus's personal weighted blanket.

💖 SPARKLING HEART - are they a subtle or a showy lover?

he TRIES to be subtle but because of how easily flustered he is, even after they've been together for a WHILE, he still kind of accidentally 'overdoes it' [in his mind], which jason just finds very cute and endearing. who cares if he's showy. it lets jason know that he's not scared to love him. and that makes my brain EXPLODE. theyre holding hands almost all the time, something which marcus ALWAYS initiates just bc he LOVES holding jason's hand. and they swing their arms a bit while they walk. and kiss each other's hands. and if that isn't showy idk what is.

💌 LOVE LETTER - do they like love letters? what kind of messages do they leave for their partner?

jason can't ready very well, so if marcus were to leave a note for him at any point, it would be a very simple i love you <3 written in all caps surrounded by hearts. and a couple of little smileys + a doodle of them holding hands. over time as jason gets better with it, he does start writing a little bit more in them. and then jason would maybe even write some back. aughgfdjh. he is not good at writing either, so his notes would also be a very simple "i love you" in very wobbly handwriting, with a little (: x at the end. he ends EVERY message he ever writes with a smiley face. i know this is about marcus but that's an improtant jason fact.

💔 BROKEN HEART - what could their partner do that would absolutely break their heart?

JASON WOULD NEVER DO SUCH A THING BUT. CHEAT. 10000% I KNOW THAT'S LIKE. A GENERIC ANSWER. BUT. YOU KNOW. IT'S HAPPENED TO HIM ONCE WITH THE MAN HE ONCE BELIEVED WAS THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE, IF JASON ENDED UP DOING THE SAME THING AFTER THE COUNTLESS PROMISES HE MADE OVER THE YEARS, MARCUS WOULD BE IN SHAMBLES. he literally 100000% would NEVER love anyone ever again.

the second thing is uhhhhhh. die. lol < evil

[leaf-kei]

YOU DIDNT FOCUS TOO MUCH ON THE EPISODE!!! EVERY EPISODE IS WORTH THINKING ABT!!!!!! GRABS YOU AND SHAKES YOU

(read more hehehehehe)

Does robot culture in Time Squad reflect homophobia and same-sex marriage laws? In this essay I will

I wonder how much Tudd sees Larry as a robot versus as a man… like, which is the bigger obstacle to accepting his feelings for him LMAO??

From the robot comments he makes sometimes, it might seem like Tudd thinks of Larry as fundamentally different, but I like to imagine he only says those things to win arguments. Like, he only consciously remembers in those moments that Larry’s a robot, he uses that fact to make a jab at him, and then he basically forgets about it until the next fight breaks out lol. When he isn't already angry, Tudd doesn’t seem to take issue with Larry’s non-robot-ish hobbies and behaviors… actually, it irritates him much more when Larry's feminine, which could imply he sees him as a man first and a robot second... 🤔 how interesting

ALSO YEAH do bots & humans in general see each other as potential romantic partners in this universe??!?!? Personally (for maximum comedy and light-hearted hijinks) I headcanon that human/robot relationships are uncommon and seen as unusual, but not actually frowned upon—they're just unexpected! I like the idea of Tudd and Larry's love being surprising/curious/enlightening to people around them... like, it took the two Biggest Idiots of All Time to break that boundary and lead by example 🥲 LOVE IS LOVE I SEE NO DIFFERENCE

I think it would be hilarious for Tudd to be way more open to relationships with robots than most people, but prevented from getting with Larry anyway bc of his terminal homophobia LOL

Maybe because Tudd is stupid™️, he’s more inclined to believe what’s right in front of him instead of abstract social boundaries that exist outside his immediate circle… and what’s in front of him is a complicated, self-righteous, kinda pretty-lookin’ person who cares for him and Otto 🧍 i need an emoji of me lying on the floor dead

👁️👁️ Cherry. Tell me some more of ur TS headcanons if you'd like. i am on my knees 🧎

LARRY 3000 GENDER ANALYSIS

I've been wanting to do this for such a long time so AHEM. Here's how the Dr. Freud episode (because of course it's that episode) may suggest Larry is Transgender™ in one way or another.

This analysis is mostly based on one aspect from The Island of Dr. Freud: Larry's dream. It appears in the beginning and comes back around to tie the plot together when he recounts his nightmare to Freud so he can start analyzing dreams like he's supposed to. I believe it's been sort of... overlooked by everyone? Or maybe I'm just insane.

As a preface, I'd like to say that this is a purely queer reading of Larry. One could argue his sense of 'otherness' comes from being a robot (something he is actually teased about in the show) but considering this is set in the future where robots are commonplace, as shown in the Recruitment Ad, I don't see it as very likely. Another non-queer interpretation is that Larry's 'otherness' comes from being too sensitive or simply feminine, which is totally valid. That being said, I think anyone who's even a little into Time Squad knows that Larry is anything but straight. But without further ado, let's' begin this analysis.

Larry's nightmare/dream goes as follows:

"I'm in this dark room, all alone…

Suddenly, I notice a table.

I move over to it and take a seat."

"In front of me is a delicious ambrosia salad.

I'm very excited about enjoying the salad…"

"However, when I reach for my fork…

...instead, in my hand, I hold…"

"A shoe.

A SHOE!

NOT A FORK, A WRETCHED SHOE!"

(WHAT DOES IT MEAN, DOCTOR?! WHAT DOES IT ALL MEEAAANNNN?!)

Now, usually, if you had a dream like this you'd think of it as something absurd and nonsensical, which is exactly what Freud thinks when Larry tells him, but it goes deeper than that. According to the start of the episode, he's had this exact dream multiple times, almost like a constant reminder. One could then argue that it's a part of his subconscious trying to tell him something. That's why I think analyzing his dream is worth it.

Back to the end of the episode, Otto takes note of Larry's despair and does a little analysis of his own, assigning things from L's dream to aspects of his life:

"The dark room clearly represents the world, and the ambrosia salad is society. And the shoe… the shoe is you! Never quite fitting in. Don't you see, Larry? You just want to be loved."

We'll get back at the parts I marked in bold later. For now, with the help of Otto, let's look back at L3K's dream with these elements in mind:

Larry finds himself in a dark world (the room), all alone. This has both a literal meaning, as Larry's first 9 years were spent in a warehouse, and a metaphorical one, where he's found himself without anyone that really understands him. Sure, he's close to certain folks like Otto, Buck or XJ5, but there's something that keeps Larry from entirely connecting with them.

He then notices a table and takes a seat. It's hard to define what exactly it could mean, and it doesn't appear to be significant to his dream's message, so I feel it's best not to try and find a meaning where there is none.

Here's where this analysis' most important element comes into play: The ambrosia salad, the one Larry is "very excited to enjoy". His wording is crucial here; he doesn't just want to 'eat' the salad, he's looking forward to savoring the experience. He has high expectations of what society will offer him and how he might be able to fit in. It's also very important to note Larry's special connection to food -there's an entire analysis dedicated to this- as he calls the salad "delicious" merely by looking at it. He finds the idea of fitting into society interesting, or at least desirable in some way.

Unfortunately, Larry is the shoe. When he reaches for himself, for an identity that allows him to enter society, he finds... that something is very, very wrong with him. He's supposed to be a fork, but he turned out to be a shoe. Something wretched, horrifying, something that directly tells Larry he could never fully integrate himself into society in any way, shape or form.

Here's where Otto's final thoughts come in: Try as he might, Larry will never be able to quite fit in. All he wants is to be loved unconditionally by those around him, without the need to put up a show of sass-lip and snootiness. But alas, until others can put aside their differences, Larry is a shoe and will continue to be a shoe.

What does all of this amount to? In simple terms, Larry's nightmare is his subconscious telling him that he is a misfit thrown into a world that doesn't think, speak or act like him. He can't relate to anyone for some reason, but what is that reason exactly?

Anyone who's questioned their gender identity knows how alienating the world can be, even before realizing they're transgender. It's the same "otherness" I talked about earlier, the knowledge that you're different from everyone else. Larry is definitely aware of this but he can't pin down why. He's scared of what the world thinks of him. After all, he's not "just a robot", he's THE Larry 3000. Can robots suffer from social dysphoria rooted in being seen as machines without feelings? I'd like to believe so, demonstrated in other shows like Jenny from MLAATR and Robot Jones from WHTRJ. Larry falls into this category too, clearly displayed in his fights with Tuddrussel:

He wants to be more than just a robot, but he doesn't realize he already is. Larry refuses to follow anyone's orders on what he should be, and instead chooses a path of his own.

In conclusion:

[stay-midnight]

Halloween of SKidz 1

Serial Killer! Hyunjin x MALE Reader

Word Count: 3.8K Words

This does not represent Hwang Hyunjin, JYP or any of the Stray Kids members and are only for fictional and entertainment purposes.

TW //: Explicit Smut, Murder, Blood, Reader’s death at the end, Angst and Death.

Kinks: HARD DOM! Hyunjin, WHINY SUB! Reader, Slight Exhibitionism, Toys (specifically a vibrator), Handcuffs, Orgasm Denial, Degradation, Marking, Spanking, Eating Out, Unprotected Sex (wrap it up), Creampie, Master Kink, Slight Nipple Play and Spitting.

Please ignore any grammar or spelling mistakes..

a/n: sksksks, This is my first work here on tumblr, It isn’t halloween yet but i’ll hopefully post 4 of these in this month while the other four on october. I’ll do one for every member and they’ll all be male reader cuz we need more of those uwu!

Laughter is echoing around the dark and empty road, the streetlights flickering on and off.

“99” the man named Hyunjin spoke in a deep voice as he pulled out the knife out of the person that stopped breathing seconds ago.

“One more, I just need to kill one more and I’ll reach triple digits!” he laughed out as he swung his knife, removing the blood from it.

He laughed as he looked at the body that is lying on the cold and hard road, still and unresponsive. He squatted down and poked the body with the edge of his knife, “Pathetic human, it wasn’t even fun trying to chase you, who knew someone could be as stupid as to go on a silent road, not even a car is passing by.” he mocked the dead human.

He sighed and got up from his squatted position, he placed his hands in his pocket and lifted his hood. Even just after killing someone, he already wants more bodies to hit the floor. He grins evilly, excited for his next victim.

You blink your eyes open as the sound of an alarm bounced around your walls. You groaned and tried to hit the alarm with your eyes closed.

In the end the alarm fell down, “That’s the fourth clock that I broke this month!” You whined out before sighing and picking the broken alarm clock and placing it in the trash bin near the door of your bedroom.

You rubbed your blurry eyes and walked to a side of the room, turning the knob and opening the door to the bathroom.

Sighing, “I have no classes today but I still have to revise for my finals..” You said to yourself as you opened the cabinet and you reached out to grab a toothbrush as you started to do your morning routine of bathing and eating breakfast.

. . .

Chewing on the bacon as you sat on your couch bored, you decided to turn on the tv as to see if there is anything interesting. Kid’s Cartoons started playing, you immediately switched it to the news channel.

“News just in: Another dead body was found this early morning.” The male newscaster started, you were perplexed as it was the 11th dead body this month and they haven’t caught the killer yet.

“Mhmm.. They were found dead with a cut that pierced through his heart but the blood was already dried out when it was found, the forensics recently said that they were killed atleast 7 hours ago, meaning that they were killed at about 1AM at midnight.” The female newscaster explained.

The male frowned, “We advise all of you to stay at your homes as much as possible until the killer has been caught.” He advised seriously.”

She nodded, “That’s all we have today for the case about the killings, sadly the police haven’t found that many evidences and the other towns lost the trail on the killer. We’ll keep you updated as best as we can, but until that, this is goodbye for now.” She finished and waved at the camera.

You sighed and closed the television, “Hopefully the killer gets caught soon.” You mumbled before taking a sip of your water.

You yawned as you entered the small cafe, the bell ringing. You blink away the tiredness in your eyes at the lack of sleep last night, the small cafe was seemingly packed and you heard murmuring around you, catching a few words like “killers” and “bodies”.

You walked over into the counter and squinted your eyes while looking at the menu. Nothing really caught your eye so you just went with ordering a Strawberry Cheesecake with a creamy cafe.

After taking your order, you walked into a corner and sat on a empty table there. You took out your laptop and started studying for your finals.

. . .

The once packed cafe is now mostly empty and deserted with only 4-5 people around.

You have been revising and studying for 2 hours already. You were struggling with some parts from Mathematics and Physics, you heard the hanging bell ring for the umpteenth time but of course ignored it again.

. . .

Hyunjin looked around and saw it a bit empty, he was planning to kill the cafe barista for annoying him last time but he wanted a special one for his 100th. He was about to leave until he saw a focused male at a corner of the cafe. He furrowed his eyebrows and walked closer to take a look, his mouth hung agape at your mesmerizing facial features.

He decided to take a seat in front of you, you were snapped out of your focused trance as an attractive stranger took a seat in front of you. “Uh.. There’s many seats around available..” you trailed, “I know.” he said in a bored tone,

“You seemed interesting so I decided to approach you.” he smiled and pushed your books to clear the table a bit. He placed his chin on his hand and studied you more, how cute you look focusing on your studies or how pretty you were thinking.

You sighed and closed your laptop, rubbing your tired eyes in the process. noticing the stranger in front of you with his gaze studying you. “Uh.. Hello?” You said, waving your hands in front of his face.

Hyunjin broke out from his trance and answered, “Hi..” he started, “What’s your name?” he asked boldly,

You were taken aback by his boldness and confidence seemed to flow in him. You slightly blushed, “[Y/N]” you answered, “A pretty name for someone pretty..” he smiled seductively at you while you blushed more.

“What about you? What’s your name?” You asked him meekly,

“My name is Hyunjin, pretty boy.” He winked at you suggestively. “Pretty boy? Really though?” You awkwardly giggled out.

“Of course, like I said you are really attractive.” He smirked looking at you, his finger drumming his cheek. “Well, you are too..” you smiled as you placed your laptop back to your bag.

“Mhmm~ In that case, would you like to get dinner tonight?” he asked grinning.

You contemplated for a bit before nodding slowly, “Can I have your number then?” he asked, grinning wider. You once again nodded “Sure..” You opened your phone and going to ‘Add Contact’.

You hand your phone over to him and smiled, standing up and grabbing your bag hoisting it over your shoulder, waiting for him to finishing inputting his number in it.

He hands you your phone, “Thank you Hyunjin? Or was it Hinjin?” You furrowed your eyebrows. He chuckled “It’s Hyunjin but Master sounds better.” He winked one last time and stood up to leave, leaving your flustered self standing there.

You were out of it on your way home that you hit your head on a street pole, it’s not really everyday that you get asked out by someone attractive.

You practically cheered when you arrive at your apartment then you heard your phone ding, you read the message and smiled. “Hi, pretty boy~ The venue for our date is the bar across the road from the cafe earlier, don’t be late tonight~ ;)” You giggled slightly at the wink emoji.

You responded with, “Of course, I won’t~ What’s with the wink emoji?

“I don’t know~ maybe we’ll do something after our date?~” he messaged back,

You blushed as you walk to your room and lay down bed, feeling the soft sheets and letting out a sound of satisfaction.

“Maybe?~” You flirted back,

“Aww, are you eager pretty boy?” he sent back,

“I’m not! Anyways let me get my rest so I have atleast enough energy tonight.” You heard your phone ring loudly which made you yelp and accidentally threw your phone into the air landing softly at your lap.

You gulped and answered it, “H-Hello?” you cursed under your breath at your stuttering.

. . .

He smirked when he heard your stuttering, “Pretty boy needs enough energy for tonight? What for?” he teased, thoughts of you riding him going through his head.

His tongue licking his bottom lip at his thoughts, He heard you pout through the phone, “N-Not for that, I need energy to converse with you and I’m tired from revising and studying.” You explained,

“For what? I didn’t say anything,” he chuckled, “Go to sleep then, you clearly need it for tonight.” he said, ending the call. You swear that you heard him smirk and that made you a bit aroused especially at his sexy tone of voice.

You sighed, setting an alarm, placing your phone at the nightstand and laying back down on the bed, thinking about the possibilities on what’s going to happen on the date.

You smiled, thinking optimistically. You fluttered your eyes closed, eventually falling asleep.

You blink your eyes open at the sound of the more soothing alarm sound than this morning, You checked the time and you still have 1 hour and 30 minutes to prepare.

You dragged yourself out of your bed and walked inside to the door at the corner of your bedroom.

You stripped yourself off your clothes and took a hot shower, feeling the warm water flow down to your chest and the bottom part of your body as you sigh at the calming sound of the shower.

. . .

You got out of the shower about 20 minutes and wrapped a towel around your waist, humming a tune. You walked out of the bathroom, checking the time. You still have 30 minutes. You got dressed in casual clothing, a blue t-shirt and tight jeans.

You arrived at the bar, you only brung a phone with you. You noticed that the bar was slightly empty possibly due to the fact that a killer is on the loose. You looked around for a tall and attractive male with a headband.

You spotted him at the corner of the bar and walked over to his table, “Hello pretty boy, on time I see?” he smirked, “Of course, It would be rude to arrive late..” you said shyly.

He hummed and asked, “Do you want any drinks?” he asked looking at you, you shook your head “I have really low alcohol tolerance so I’d prefer not to.” you said looking at him with a small smile.

He nods and stood up to walk over to the counter to order. You sat down and waited for Hyunjin to walk back as you played with your fingers, a bit nervous.

. . .

Hyunjin came back with 2 glasses of water and a pie, “Ooh~ What pie is that?” You asked smiling from ear to ear. “Pumpkin.” he said nonchalantly as he placed the food in front of you.

You hummed in approval and satisfaction of your order, You grabbed the fork and cut a small piece before placing it in your mouth, “It’s really good!” You said after swallowing it.

While the both of you are eating, you asked him questions as he asked you some as well and you got to know him better. “Do you have any deep dark secrets?” You asked looking at him with a small smirk,

He flinched and looked at you seriously, “You don’t hav—” You started, he cutted you off saying, “I don’t have any pretty boy, unless you count me wanting to do dirty things to that innocent body of yours, a deep dark secret.” he smirked leaning closer to you.

Your face immediately turned to that of a tomato and you fumbled around your words, “I- Uh-” are the only things that came out of your mouth.

“What is it hmm? Cat’s got your tongue pretty boy?” He teased, you felt a hand sneak on your thighs, rubbing and trailing it softly, seemingly getting closer at the middle of your legs.

You bit your lips as he kneads your thighs, which made you let out a breath shakily. “Are you liking this pretty boy?” You nod your head slightly and he noticed it. “Needy slut, you have no shame at all do you? I bet you wouldn’t mind if we get caught fucking in public.”

You let out a low whimper, “Answer me, you dumb slut.” He slaps your thighs which made you yelp from your seat, “I-I” was all you could say.

He clicked his tongue and grips your thighs harshly with his large hands.

“Do you want to leave now?” he smirks widely at you. “Y-Yes..” you stuttered out shyly but a sudden bad feeling arose on your stomach.

He chuckled and stood up, grabbing your hands and leading you out of the bar.

He leads you to his car at the parking lot and seated you on the shotgun seat.

He drives with one hand on the steering wheel and his other hand placed on your thighs squeezing and slapping it a number of times making you bite your bottom lip preventing those lewd sounds from coming out.

You still felt that bad feeling at your stomach, somehow telling you to leave and run but ignored it due to your spark of arousal and ignorance.

. . .

He parked his car at the front of his house, it was a small and cozy house at a very silent part of the neighborhood. You got out of the car and he did as well.

After getting out of the car, he walked over to you and dragged you inside his house.

As soon as you enter through door and walked inside his house, he closes the door behind him and pins you against a wall, his tongue slid on his bottom lip before kissing you against the wall roughly.

Low moans left your mouth and when you parted your lips slightly, he inserted his tongue forcefully, tasting every corners of your mouth as you gripped his shirt tightly.

He slapped the side of your hips signaling you to jump, you complied and jumped, wrapping your legs around his waist.

He pulled you off the wall and he made his way to his bedroom, keeping both your lips tightly locked.

Once you both arrive at his room, he placed you down the small bed and walked over to his closet. Grabbing a black box and looking at you lustfully. You sat up, blushing and eyed the box curiously, “What’s inside that?” You said and pointed at the box.

“Some interesting stuff..” he trailed off and looked at you smirking.

You watched as he pulled out a vibrator and handcuffs. You blushed redder as he pulled out those items but anticipating on what’s about to happen.

He walked over to you and placed the items on the nightstand. “Strip.” he commanded.

You nodded shyly before removing your shirt and tugging your pants off, leaving you on your boxers. He clicked his tongue, “All of your clothes.” he said in a deeper tone.

You shook your head, disobeying him. He growled before forcing you on your hands and knees on the bed, which made you whimper at the rough treatment.

“Dumb slut, can’t even follow simple orders, disobey me again and I’ll make sure you’ll never cum tonight.” he said to you as he handcuffed your hands behind your back.

“I’m sorry Hyunjin..” you said, he spanked you harshly through your boxers which made you release a loud moan. “Is that what you should call me?” he growled out as he spanked you again more roughly.

“M-Master..!” you moaned out loudly, “That’s my good slut.” he said smirking.

You squirmed a bit at your handcuffed hands behind you. “Don’t move, you slut.” he said as he spanked you again.

He pulled down your boxers roughly and licked his lips at the sight of your hole, he spat on your hole before placing his face between your cheeks and spreading it wider.

You were fully red at being exposed to him, “Ah~ M-Master f-fuck..” you moaned out loudly, echoing around the room.

He shoved his tongue down your hole and spreading your cheeks wider to go deeper while you let out a string of lewd moans at the feeling of his wet muscle exploring your walls.

You felt that you could cum any second but then he pulled his tongue out which made you whine. He flipped you over on your back, which made you a bit uncomfortable at the position because of the handcuffs.

He looked down at you and chuckled at your squirming, his eyes move from you to your hard cock, your tip angry-red. He jerked it you off slowly making you whine, “Go f-faster p-please..” you breathed out shakily.

He slapped your thighs again harshly, “Don’t speak unless I tell you to.” he said darkly, you whimpered at his tone of voice and closed your mouth.

You look up at him, still fully clothed. Which formed a pout on your lips, you wanted see all of him as well. He noticed the pout at your gaze. He unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off him, revealing his well-toned abs which made you eye it like a candy.

He then unbuckled his pants and pulled it down, revealing a huge tent in the middle of his boxers which made you moan at the sight.

He chuckled and grabbed the vibrator off the nightstand. He then trailed the vibrator down your chest on the highest setting, which made you whine at the pleasure.

He placed the vibrator on top of one of your nipples, you let out a very lewd moan which turned on Hyunjin even more.

He then trailed it down even farther until it reached your cock, he placed it on the tip of your cock which made you scream at the pleasure, “M-Master~! T-That feels so good~” he saw your cock twitch which made him pull the vibrator away and smirking. “You won’t cum unless I want you to, you slut.” you led out the loudest whine which made Hyunjin smirk even wider,

“Cute. You look so cute like this, slut. So fucked out, I wanna hear you beg for me to let you cum and for me to pound into you like the cockwhore you are.” he said looking at you lustfully.

Hyunjin kissed you passionately with a slight hint of roughness. He pulled away and inserted his fingers into your mouth, you licked his fingers—swirling your tongue on it. Hyunjin pulled it out before reaching down and pushing a finger into your hole.

You moaned at the entry, clenching tightly around his finger. “Relax, slut.” he said, leaning down to kiss you to distract from his finger being inside you.

He inserted a second one which made you moan against his mouth. He inserted a third one immediately, fucking you at fast pace with his long and slender fingers.

You felt a coil at the pit of your stomach, “M-Master, I’m going to cum..~” you moaned out, muffled by his tongue being inside your mouth.

He pulls away from your mouth and stopped thrusting his fingers. “You’re not gonna cum until I do.” he strictly said as you whined loudly once again at your orgasm being denied a second time.

Tears formed in your eyes, looking away from him at your once again ruined orgasm, “Gonna cry now?” he smirked as he grabbed your chin, forcing you to look at him “Stupid slut, look at me when I’m talking to you.”

You looked at him, your eyes brimming with tears. “I’m sorry m-master..” you whimpered out,

He leans down to your right ear, “I said what I said, I’m gonna make you beg for me.” he whispered to you, biting the lobe of it.

You whined silently at this and nodded. “Now, Is my needy slut ready for my cock?”

“Y-Yes, m-master..” you stuttered out, “Beg for it.” he said, smirking again.

“M-Master, P-Pound into me like the w-whore that I a-am and f-fill me u-up with your cum.” you begged desperately.

He smiled, he lifted one of your legs and licked his lips once again at the sight of your needy hole clenching around nothing. “Look at your hole clenching, pathetic.” He said before slamming into you deeply, not giving you time to adjust before pulling out and slam back with as much force.

You screamed at his actions, clenching tightly around his cock. “M-Master!!!” you screamed out, squirming—trying to break free from the cuffs.

He repeatedly slammed into you, he found your prostate and hit it with every thrust as all you could do was let out screams and moans at the overwhelming pleasure.

“I’m c-close.. Please p-please let me cum~ Fuck~!” You moaned out. He groans and nodded, “Cum for me, pretty boy.”

You moaned loudly as your cum shot out to your chest and some reaching Hyunjin's chest.

He continued his harsh pace, overstimulation you, which made let out a loud whine at your hole and prostate being abused by him.

“Tell me how good I’m making you feel.” he groaned out. “S-So good m-master...” you gasped out as he hit your prostate for the umpteenth time.

His thrusts went sloppy, meaning he was close. You felt that familiar coil at your stomach. “I-I’m close again~..” you whined out as he leant down and placed some visible hickeys on your chest. “Cum with me.” he breathed out as he slammed into you faster and harsher.

You screamed as you came undone a second time, your body shuddering at your second orgasm. He came deep inside you a second later.

You moaned at the feeling of his cum staining your walls. He pulls out of you as he watch the cum drip out of your abused hole. You whined at cum dripping out of you but relaxed.

You blink twice, trying to blink away the tiredness but fell asleep as Hyunjin heard your light snores. He smiled but soon turned to a frown as he snapped back to reality.

He realized that you’re supposed to be his victim. “Just another hour atleast..” he was happy with you but he needed to kill you.

He turned you over slightly to uncuff you, he pulled the cuffs and placed them at the nightstand, next to the vibrator.

He got a damp towel and wiped your cum off his chest. He walked over to you and cleaned your own cum from your chest as he lifted your legs carefully to wipe the cum dripping out of your hole.

He laid right next to you and closed his eyes, sighing sadly as this was about to end.

He woke up at the middle of the night and got up, frowning. he grabbed a knife from the black box earlier and looked at you as he tried to calm his breathing down.

He walked over to you, “I’m sorry [Y/N]..” he said as he leaned down to give you a soft peck on the lips. He raised the knife up, his hands trembling “I’m really sorry..” he said as a single tear slipped down his cheek.

He brung the knife down to your heart and red stained his bedsheets. He sobbed silently because you’re the only one that made him feel that kind of way.

[nalgenewhore]

With My Life - Chapter Eight

masterlist - ao3 - last chapter - next chapter 

warnings: (all graphic) violence, guns, blood, smut, implied PTSD

an: guys....guys we’re here. we’ve made it. say hello to The Plot

The dark room was silent save for the even breathing beside her. 

Elide sat up, in need of water, but she paused for a moment to look back at Lorcan as he slept, on his stomach with his tattooed arms wrapped around his pillow. His face was softened by slumber and Elide bent, pressing her lips to the curve of his shoulder before slipping out of bed. 

Her satin nightgown swished around her, catching on her curves as she walked to the bathroom. The light was too bright and she winced as she turned it on, narrowing her eyes for a second as she turned the tap on. 

Just when Elide grabbed the glass sitting next to the sink, she heard a low groan from the bedroom and paused, thinking he was in pain from the bullet removal. But the rough sound melted into a plea of ‘please, no’. 

Worry flooded her senses and the glass crashed to the marble floor, smashing into a myriad of sharp pieces, but that was the last thing on her mind as she ran into their bedroom, eyes on Lorcan as he thrashed on their bed, his face contorted in pain. He was still asleep, tears streaming down his cheeks as he pleaded with whatever vision he was trapped in. 

Elide put her hand over his where it gripped the sheet, gently easing it open so she could slip her fingers between his. Her other hand cupped his face, her thumb stroking over his cheekbone, “L, wake up. You’re with me, please, wake up.” 

His eyes snapped open and before Elide could register any movement, she was straddling his lap and Lorcan wrapped his arms around her waist, his head bowed and pressed against the soft skin of her chest. His body was tense, but still wracked with shaking, as if he were trying to suppress it. “Oh, love,” she murmured, pressing her lips to the top of his head and putting her arms around his shoulders. 

One hand slid up from the nape of his neck to his hair, stroking through the thick locks soothingly. “You’re ok,” she whispered, feeling his tears drip onto her skin, his hands catching on the delicate material of her gown. His breathing was shaky and he didn’t answer her. Elide held him like a child, whispering soothing nothings into the silence of the night. 

Neither were sure how long it was until he lifted his head and smiled, vulnerable. Elide returned the smile, cupping his face in both her hands to wipe cheeks. Lorcan turned his face to kiss one palm and then the other, his lips lingering for a second longer than necessary. 

“Are you alright?” 

He dipped his chin in a slight nod, his eyes shuttered. “Peachy keen.” 

Elide rolled her eyes and hugged him once more, her chin resting on the crown of his head, “You know you can talk to me. I want you to.” 

“I know,” he whispered, startling her when he rolled them so she was lying beneath him, “but I’d rather do other things.” 

Elide opened her mouth to protest his avoidance, but his lips and tongue were hot against her skin and the only sound that left her was a soft sigh, her mind wiped clean. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Lorcan knocked back two painkillers and put the bottle back in the cupboard. Elide was packing her bag up, juggling her coffee in one hand and notebooks in the other. 

The domesticity of it all, the two of them separate, but both getting ready for work, was a startling change. Lorcan found he didn’t mind it. 

Elide had a big meeting today and he knew his nightmare last night had only served to ratchet her stress just that much higher. Normally, he could suppress his memories, but last night… all he could see was Maeve telling Fenrys to take the shot just as he was picking the hard drive up. 

He had pleaded with Fenrys, but it happened again and again and he’d been trapped in his own mind until Elide. 

“L?” Elide’s concerned voice snapped him out of his reverie and he blinked once or twice, looking down to see her standing a foot away. “You alright?” 

“Yeah, ‘m fine,” he said, flashing her a grin as he put his coffee mug into the sink and leaned down, kissing the top of her head. “You nervous?” 

“About your day or mine?” 

“Yours.” 

She shrugged, picking at her manicure, “Kind of. I know the material well, so I’m sure it’ll be fine but… “ she groaned in disgust, her brows snapping together. “It’s dumb. I know this shit.” 

He chuckled, “Fuck yeah, you do. You’ll be great, yeah?” 

A cheeky smile pulled at her round lips and she asked, “Can I call you crying if I bomb it?” 

Lorcan scoffed and they both moved towards the door, “I’d be insulted if you didn’t, princess.” 

Elide laughed and sat down to put her shoes on. Lorcan inhaled sharply and Elide whipped her head up, narrowing her eyes at him, “What?” 

He nodded his chin to where the neckline of her shirt exposed a dark hickey. She stood up to look in the mirror, gasping and whirling on him, “I fucking hate you, you brute.” She was moving towards the stairs to change before he could say another word. 

“I’ll wait here.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

“Don’t say a word,” Elide hissed as she slammed the passenger door of his sleek car shut.

Lorcan pressed his lips together and nodded, turning the key in the ignition and driving out of the parking garage. “It’s a little funny.” 

“Shh,” she said, glaring at him and flipping the sun visor down to fix the more conservative neckline of her forest green sweater, swearing low in her first language. 

He laughed, checking over his shoulder before switching lanes and turning down the road that would take them to her school. They drove in a comfortable silence until he pulled up in front of her building. Elide smiled at him and leaned over the centre console to kiss his cheek, “Thank you, love.” She then gripped his chin and turned his face towards hers, pressing her lips to his for a gentle moment. “I love you.” 

He smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, “I love you too.” Elide kissed him again and Lorcan hummed, “You’re going to be late and then yell at me for distracting you if you don’t leave now.” 

Elide cackled and undid her seatbelt, popping the door open, “Bye, baby.” 

“Bye, Lochan,” he said, watching her walk away, mesmerised by the swaying of her hips in the silver silk midi skirt. He watched her dig something out of her bag and a few moments later, his phone buzzed. Picking it up, he huffed a laugh at the text she’d sent him, Stop staring at my ass and go to work, perv. He responded with the middle finger emoji before peeling onto the road. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

The painkillers he’d taken were working as well as they could as Lorcan completed the written test and moved to the shooting range. 

He thanked Hellas he was right-handed as he shot a perfect round, hitting the brain dead centre, then the heart, and both shoulders. A team of analysts were standing behind the large mirror and Lorcan blocked the feeling of their eyes on him as he put the pistol down. 

The speaker feedback had him flinching as a cool voice said, “Nicely done, agent. Please follow Agent Beinn to the sniping range.” 

The door to his left clicked as it opened and there stood Cairn, Lorcan’s least favourite coworker. He thanked his dark god every day that he had never been on mission with the bastard. He was Maeve’s right-hand man, for reasons none of the cadre, as Aelin so fondly called them, understood. 

Cairn was a sadistic prick with slightly above average espionage skills. His bloodlust was infamous and a dreaded component of his assignments. Lorcan became nauseous when he heard hushed stories about what Cairn had done while on mission, to civilians and targets alike. 

Cairn’s watery blue eyes were glinting with sick amusement and his face twisted into his signature sneer as he escorted Lorcan to the next part of his exam. 

No one else was allowed in the range while Lorcan was in there and still, he could feel Cairn’s stare between his shoulder blades as he picked up the rifle and fitted the recoil pad against his shoulder, his cheek pressed against the cool metal of the gun. 

He took his time adjusting the scope and becoming accustomed to the weight and feel of the rifle. Sniping had never been his strong suit. 

“Whenever you’re ready, agent.”

Lorcan breathed in slowly and pulled the trigger, biting back a grunt at the recoil when it slammed into him. Looking through the scope again, he saw that his shot had gone a few centimetres to the right of the chest target and asked, “How many shots, sir?” 

“Shoot the magazine, agent.”

By the time the magazine was emptied, Lorcan’s ears, despite the protective earmuff, were ringing. Out of the five bullets, only two ended up going wide. 

“Well done, agent. Agent Beinn will take you for your fitness exam. This is your last test today.” 

Lorcan put the gun back and rolled his shoulder, prodding the fresh wound from Elide’s ‘surgery’ the night before. Maybe fucking her to avoid talking wasn’t the best idea, but at the time… it seemed to do the trick. He knew that it would be difficult for her to let it be and that continuing to avoid speaking would do more harm than good, no matter how uncomfortable it was. 

For Elide, he’d do better, he’d learn to be better. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Lorcan was panting, his heart practically trying to beat its way free of its prison of flesh and bone as he dropped from the pullup bar, barely able to stand on his feet. 

The evaluators - he’d never learned their names - nodded and whispered things, comparing notes on their clipboards. One of them, the eldest with a fully white and bushy beard, stood and smiled warmly. He reminded Lorcan of a neighbour he’d once had - the one everyone saw as their grandfather. “Congratulations, Agent Salvaterre. You’ve passed and will be reinstated as a field agent.” 

Lorcan remembered protocol and nodded once, walking up to shake their hands. He kept completely still as they all filed out, leaving him alone in the concrete-walled room. 

The moment the door was shut, Lorcan slid down the wall to the floor, bracing his elbows on his knees and letting his head fall into his hands. His lungs were raw, begging and searching desperately for more and more oxygen. 

Ever since his nightmare from the night before, he couldn’t shake the feeling that the list was the answer to it all. 

When Erawan had first popped up as a threat, they didn’t bother to take him seriously. He’d painted himself as the second coming of the original demon, the Erawan from the legends of old who had torn apart worlds looking for his sister in law. 

They’d deemed him a lunatic, which he was, but decided he wasn’t a serious issue. And then he started gaining devotees. His following grew into a mass hysteria of young, misguided individuals who saw an impure world and strove to right it. Still, Maeve insisted it was just another cult, soon to die down. 

Wyrd soon hit the streets, a dangerous synthetic drug that severed pain reception. Erawan and his followers were convinced their lord had saved them, that he had given them unmatched powers in return for their devotion. 

The Wendlyn government pushed back. They wrote new laws, started enforcing ones they had eased on and somehow, Erawan had gotten it in his head that a blood war was necessary. Soon, they got reports of masses of firearms, fatal artillery being stockpiled and weekly raids commenced. They unearthed increasingly alarming compilations of weapons and chased every lead to the very end, but eventually, it seemed that Erawan’s agenda was only inevitable. 

But the list… he’d almost been killed because of it. Thousands of other lives had been sacrificed and something told him it was all because of the list. 

Lorcan knew he needed to move before his muscles cooled and stiffened until it would be excruciating to do anything, so he stood up and walked out. 

He passed cyber analytics and popped his head in, “Hey, y’all know where Ytger is?” 

“I’m right here, L,” Nehemia said, popping up from behind a computer and cackling when he jumped. 

“Hellas below, stop fucking doing that, dickhead,” he grumbled. 

She laughed and motioned him over, “What can I do for you?” 

Lorcan opened his mouth to say it, but he paused, looking around at the others. “Uh, can we go somewhere else?” 

Raising a brow, Nehemia pushed her glasses up and nodded, gathering her laptop and other things before following him out to an abandoned office. “L, what is it? You’re freaking me out, hon.” 

“Do you have security footage from the mission?” 

She nodded, “Yeah, the one you got shot on? I can get it. Is there any reason?” 

He shrugged and sat down on the desk, watching the dust settle as Nehemia set her computer up. “I can’t stop thinking that I missed something. I just want to see it.” 

Nehemia hummed, not at all believing him. “Alright, come sit and look.” She passed the laptop to him and Lorcan frowned when he clicked on the file. “Why’re you frowning?” 

“There’s nothing here, Mi. It’s empty,” he said, tilting the screen towards her. Nehemia’s eyes widened and she took it from him. 

“It was here just the other day, what…” she whispered, more to herself than him. Her elegant fingers flew over the keyboard, her long nails clicking on the keys as her frown grew deeper and deeper. 

Tension settled over them and Lorcan watched her anxiously. Her keystrokes became faster and more frenzied, her shoulders lifting and stiffening. In a flash, she hopped off the desk and turned around, putting the laptop down on the desk and leaning over it. 

Lorcan turned to look at the screen, not understanding what was happening. “Nehemia, what happened?” 

“Whoever wiped it is still here, they’re leaving a footprint,” she muttered and then gasped through her nose, “Fuck, they’re in the building.” 

“What,” he breathed, watching the building’s blueprint appear on the screen, every computer popping up as well. Nehemia followed the trail and they gaped when they saw where it led them to. “Is that… Maeve’s computer?” 

Nehemia nodded dumbly, “Her personal one, too. She doesn’t know I track it.” 

“Get whatever’s left,” he said and Nehemia nodded again, quickly backtracking and grabbing the last document. Then, she erased everything and let out a long breath as she opened the doc. “Can you send that to me? We need to talk to the boys.” Lorcan stood up, grabbing his phone, but Nehemia stopped him with a hand on his arm. 

“Not yet. We need to know what we’re dealing with before worrying them all, ok?” 

Lorcan knew she was right and nodded, putting his phone away and slumping onto the uncomfortable chair. “Fuck.” He looked to the side at her, “What was left?” 

“The list,” she said. “I’ve been working on decrypting it for the past couple months, but I can’t get past these random clues.” 

He sighed, hating that his life just got that more complicated. “Send it to me, I’ll try my best.” 

Nehemia nodded and sat down in the chair next to him, dropping her head in her hands, “This is a shitshow, huh?” 

“It really fucking is.” 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

Lorcan was sitting on the couch in the living room, staring at the email Nehemia had sent to him. Elide was asleep upstairs and he’d promised her that he’d go to bed hours ago, but he hadn’t been able to move, unable to shut his laptop and go to sleep, unable to open the file. 

Just for a few more minutes, he wanted to pause his life. Everything would change after this and it wasn’t just him that would be affected. 

Fuck, Elide, she hadn’t signed up for this. He wondered if he knew what he knew now, would he have brushed off her offer for a seat in that cafe? Maybe he wouldn’t have even entered.  

And Aelin. She was having twins, after years of trying and if they lost these babies… neither Rowan nor Aelin would recover from it. 

Before his mind could spiral even further, a pair of hands slid down his chest, someone’s chin coming to rest on his head. “It’s late, love,” Elide whispered, kissing his head. “What’s wrong?” 

Lorcan shrugged, “Can’t sleep.” 

She hummed and walked around the end of the couch to settle right next to him, melting into his side. Lorcan looked down at her, wearing his hoodie and sweats due to the cold. Elide offered him a sleepy little grin, her slender eyes falling shut as she rested her head on his chest. 

It wasn’t long before she was asleep and Lorcan steeled himself to open the file. 

He scanned through it quickly, squinting and reading it more carefully. 

Almost immediately, it clicked in his mind and he swore in his mother tongue, not wanting to believe what he was seeing. 

+*+*+*+*+*+*

In the dark room, a phone rang, waking the sleeping man. 

Rowan shot up, instantly turning to check on his sleeping wife. Aelin didn’t move except to roll onto her back and sigh softly, still dead asleep as her hand drifted to her bump. 

With a sigh, Rowan swung himself out of bed and padded over to his dresser, scowling at Lorcan’s name flashing across his screen. He tersely picked his phone up, jabbing the accept button. “Lorcan, what the fuck, it’s three o’clock in the fucking morning,” he hissed, walking out onto the balcony to avoid waking Aelin. The pregnancy hadn’t been easy on her and a full night of uninterrupted sleep was something that had evaded her, so Rowan would do whatever to make sure she did not wake. “Why are you calling me?” 

“Ro, we have to leave.” 

“Leave? Leave, what?” 

“Wendlyn. As soon as possible.”

+*+*+*+*+*+*

an: dun dun dunnnnnn 

@mythicaitt​ @tinywolfofeyllwe​ @schmlip-scribble​ @the-regal-warrior​ @empire-of-wildfire​ @rhysands-highlady​ @ttakeitbacknoww​ @shyvioletcat​ @alifletcher2012​ @tswaney17​ @ourbooksuniverse​ e @flora-and-fae​ @thesirenwashere​ @queenofxhearts​ @maastrash​ @mynewdreamwasyou​ @cursebreaker29​ @empress-ofbloodshed​ @b00kworm​ @hizqueen4life​ @silversprings98​ @amren-courtofdreams​​ @minaidss​ @superspiritfestival​ @lovemollywho​ @queen-of-glass​ @jlinez​ @sleeping-and-books​ @ireallyshouldsleeprn​ @verypaleninja​ @januarystears​ @magicalunicorngypsy​

[zankivich]

The Corona Diaries: An Arrangement Blurb

a/n: you asked. I listened. I’m not sure where the inspiration came for this tbh. It definitely didn’t come from shawn because....Sheesh. I kinda thing this could be fun to keep doing, at lest for now. So if you have any prompts or ideas for things you’d like to see from our two faves please do let me know. K bye. 

*y/n’s point of view*

Marriage life suits you. Mostly because Shawn is understanding and kind, and because you make it a point to have sex twice aday as long as work doesn’t keep you separated. So you coast easily by treating each other with kindness and adoration, and never having an argument deeper than, “who left the bathroom light on?” and “it’s your turn to do laundry!”. Part of it actually is the nature of your jobs. Before Shawn could ever start to annoy you he’s in the studio for three months making a record, so every moment you get with him feels infinitely important, a moment you wouldn’t dare ruin with some stupid argument. And with you taking on the massive detailing of actually trying to build a label up, there’s plenty of time apart to make the time together special.

After the honeymoon, you began looking for houses together. There were a lot of needs it needed to check. Location. Kitchen for you. A place for Shawn to build a studio. It was the first time in your life where looking for a home meant looking for land, not necessarily listings on a website. You were building a home with this man, building a life for the two of you...and possibly even a family further on down the road.

When the coranavirus hit, Shawn was at home coincidentally. It was who you was in Australia visiting an artist on tour. You’ll never forget the two am, your time, facetime call from him. He was rosie cheeked with his favorite headband on, shirtless except for shorts and socks. He was cute. Not cute enough to be waking your ass up though.

“Shawn? If the world is not ending there is no reason for you to wake me up.” You mumbled adjusting to the light of your screen.

“Baby the world is ending! This corona shit is getting bad. And the government is totally in on it and they’re trying to kill us off in masses.”

You rolled your eyes and rolled over onto your back to peer at your lovely, if not crazy, husband.

“I told you to stay off tumblr. Those conspiracy theories always keep you up at night, babes.”

“So when it’s Regan and the Aids and crack epidemic it's a fact, but this is a conspiracy theory?”

“Nothing could have prepared me for my husband becoming more woke than I am.” You sighed. “What is it that you want me to do?”

“I want you to come home. Please? I think they’re gonna start pulling shit anyway. The NBA just canceled march madness, I wouldn’t be surprised if the tours are next. Please come home.”

You smiled softly at him. “You worried about me?”

“‘Course I am.” He whined. “You’re my wife, remember? Please come home, babe.”

His doe eyes, and the fact that he seemed to feel so strongly about it, made you feel like it was worth it to take him seriously. Shawn was definitely the more go-with-the-flow of the two of you. If he was taking it seriously, then maybe at the bare minimum you could cut him some slack.

“I will think on it while I sleep. We can talk about it tomorrow okay? I promise.”

He sighed, a crease in his eyebrows firm enough to cause a little worry even in your gut.

“Okay. Just...call me when you get up. I love you.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

Tomorrow only brought more headaches. It turned out that your husband wasn’t just a conspiracy theorist, but shit was really hitting the fan. The second you woke up you had to hop into a meeting with the entire team. The tour needed to be postponed. You had to get everyone home. There were over two dozen venues to speak to. A statement had to go out to the fans. Flights to figure out for hundreds of people. It was really a nightmare. And then on top of that your husband was just a bit losing his shit. By the time you got off your work phone, and to your personal phone--a reality that the ridiculousness of was not lost on you--you have sixteen missed calls, and tons of facetime requests and a lot of texts with various sad faced emojis asking if you were dead.

Long story short you got home to him and he was there waiting with open arms and an open dutch oven that had your favorite soup waiting to be eaten. The love of your life.

*Day 6 of Quarantine*

“Sweetheart?! Where’d you go?”

“In the kitchen!”

“Hey...why do you have clothes on?”

You turned around from the fridge to find that your husband was naked as the day he was born. You’d been making love for most of the day. And the soul was willing but the flesh was weak. Damn.

“I need to get away from you and that thing. Plus I wanted ice cream.” You whined.

He raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean ‘that thing’. What did I do?”

“ME. And very well might I add. My vagina is killing me.”

“Wait you’re hurt?” He mumbled immediately stepping forward.

Your husband was just the softest fucker alike. God you loved him.

“Little bit. Obviously I wasn’t asking you to stop. I just need a little break. Forget about your abs for five minutes and come eat icecream with me.”

He reached for your hips smiling softly at you as he ran his calloused fingers along your skin.

“Should I go put some pants on? I don’t think you want my dick on the furniture.”

You peered down at him in all his gorgeous glory. Your vagina practically peaked its head out in interest. Whore.

“Maybe we take dessert to the bedroom.”

“I though you were sore.” He snickered.

You rolled your eyes and ignored him in favor of heading for the bedroom.

“Grab some spoons and maybe I’ll let you eat it off of me!”

The sounds of the silverware drawer clanging open and his feet smacking against the floor was enough for you.

*Day 15 of Quarantine*

“What do you wanna do?”

“I don’t know. What do you wanna do?”

“Well...babe, I’ve picked the last three days. Maybe you could come up with something.”

You were lying in bed side by side staring up at the ceiling. Neither of you knew what time it was. You hadn’t worn anything but sweats in days. Speaking of days, you didn’t know what day it actually was. Stir-crazy didn’t even describe the mood you were in.

You turned your head to peer at him, your eyes slightly twitching in annoyance.

“But you like coming up with things to do. Every time I recommend something we always end up doing what you want to do.”

His eyebrows squinted and he leaned up onto his shoulder to peer down at you.

“Hey, that’s not true. I love doing what you wanna do. Why would you say that to me?”

You shrugged. “It’s true.”

“It is not. Stop it.”

“It’s not that big of a deal, Shawn. So, you’re the creative one of the marriage. It’s not that terrible.”

“‘Not a big deal’? You’re telling me I don’t give a shit about the things that you wanna do. What kind of dickhead doesn’t care about his wife’s interests? I specifically asked you to come up with something because I wanna do what you wanna do.”

You rolled your eyes up at the ceiling. Shawn was managing something that he very rarely did despite everything at his identity. He was pissing you off.

“Hey,” He murmured softly, nudging you. “You’re getting upset. Talk to me.”

“I don’t want to. Can we just drop it?”

“I don’t want to drop it, I want you to open up to me. Please?”

“Well that’s exactly what the fuck I just said isn’t?!” You snapped.

You sat up in bed and rushed to sit up and create distance. There’s a thing about Black women. Maybe it was present in other women too, but hell all you knew was your black ass and your black ass experience and in all your years you had seen momma, auntie, and various grandmothers a plenty do the exact same shit. It’s like there’s a ledge. A ledge where one can teeter and totter all day long, but the second you step over that ledge? You just sort of...lose your shit in a way only a Black woman can.

“Now I just got done explaining to you that when I say what I want to do, we end up doing what you wanna do, did I not?! And thennnnn you fuck around and completely ignore me telling you that I did not want to talk anymore about it, simply because it wasn’t what you wanted. Now I’m pissed off! Now I’m fucking over it.”

You reached for your pants, which he had so happily taken off earlier and got yourself in a state worthy enough of leaving the room while Shawn did everything in his power to make you stay.

“Don’t leave! Can’t we just talk about this? I’m sorry okay, I--I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, you wanted to know what I want to do? I want to spend the next couple of hours not looking at you.”

You've been practicing slamming doors since you were a child. And had gotten your ass beat many a times for it. The way the door frame rattles when you slam it this time is an ode to the child in you that wanted to express anger freely. Ugh. Dumbass.

*three hours later*

“What is it that you’re arguing about again?” Ti asked.

The hardest part of quarantine was truly not having access to your best friend. This meant that facetime and phone calls were a must to keep you sane. And in a moment when Shawn of all people was driving you up a wall, she was truly the only person worth speaking to.

You were sitting outside in the backyard, the sun slowing going down in the background. You’d sat outside reading a book long enough for your anger to slightly dissipate. The second Tiana’s facetime came through, it awakened within you the way only a woman could understand.

You rolled your eyes up at the sky. “I already explained it to you. I hate when you make me repeat shit until I see my own lack of logic.”

She snorted. “Cause you know I’m always right.”

“Yea, whatever. He’s a dumbass and I’m right, end of story.”

“Of course. I totally agree with you girl…”

“I mean it’s true! We--we always do what he wants...I like doing what he wants cause it’s always shit I like too. Like we’ll walk down to the beach with his guitar and I get to sit in the sand and listen to him play. I don’t have to get my hair wet and he serenades me and plays whatever I ask him to. That’s my favorite thing Ti...Ugh! Why is he so stupid!”

“The love you have for that man will never cease to amaze me.” tiana sighed. “Why don’t you just go make up with him?”

“Why do I have to go?! He’s the one who tried to make me talk before I was ready. He should respect my boundaries dammit.”

“Yea. You’re absolutely right, he should. You should tell him that. Calmly. And rationally. In sickness and health and holy matrimony. Remember?”

“. . . I don’t like you anymore, you know that?”

“Bitch get off my line and go make up with your man. I’m finna start charging you for this shit.”

You flipped her off in the camera and she cackled and hung on you. Wench.

You made your way to the one place you went when you weren’t sure about something, or you were frustrated at all in the world. The kitchen.

Shawn was still nowhere to be seen and the weight of Ti’s words hadn’t quite settled in yet, at least not consciously. Perhaps your subconscious knew something you didn’t because your hands immediately went to pulling out bread flour, butter, and yeast to make your famous sticky buns, which just happened to be Shawn’s favorite.

*meanwhile upstairs*

*Shawn’s point of view*

He’d been playing guitar for hours. His heart was a little sad,  his ego a little wounded, and there was still a bit of anger that felt irrational and rational at the same time. He kept thinking she would appear, on tip toes with her fingers drowning in her favorite sweater and the full rounded flesh of her thighs out for the world to see because who needs pants? But as the sun went down, and his mood sour’d, he had to switch his tactic. Should he apologize? He’d tried that already. And it had resulted in her going the fuck off on him. Should he just get on his knees and beg for forgiveness? Tell her how fragile he was, and how much it hurt to think he hadn’t been listening to her? They had never really fought before, not since committing to one another. He was a bit at a loss.

It’s not until he smells the cinnamon that he perks up a little bit. Cinnamon means one thing and one thing only. His wife was somewhere stress baking. He put the guitar down and toed his way towards the kitchen in search of her.

She was humming to herself as she sprinkled sanding sugar on her newest creation. She was so pretty to him. Like stunning type pretty. He was afraid of alerting her to his presence just in case she took the pleasure of staring away from him. She still made him nervous even now. How the hell did she manage to still make him nervous?

“I can feel you ya know.” She murmured softly.

He bit his lip and made his way slowly to the island which separated him from her side of the kitchen.

“What do you mean, ‘feel’ me?”

She turned around and there was suddenly a plate with two sticky buns on them. He smiled at the treat but also at the fact that she was speaking to him again. Had he mentioned that she was pretty?

“I just know when you’re around. My body knows when you’re around...It gets happy for some reason.” She snorted softly. “My heart rate slows, I breathe a little easier. That kinda shit. Sticky bun?”

“Thank you.” He said and tited his head so that he could make eye contact with her.

For a moment they eat in silence, enjoying the amazingness that was her food, and also because somehow they still got shy around each other sometimes. But he knew that there was an elephant in the room, and that if he had any hope of going to bed wrapped around his wife than they needed to talk and fast.

“Look I...I’m really sorry if I made you upset earlier. I shouldn’t have pushed and prodded at you like that. Obviously we’re both going a little crazy cooped inside the house all day, and we’re probably gonna start to get on each other’s nerves. It’s inevitable. But, I never in a million years want you to think that I wouldn’t do whatever you wanted. Some of my favorite days of our life together are watching movies while you detangle and braid your hair or when we’re in the kitchen, getting to watch you make stuff. I guess it just made me feel insecure as your husband that it sounded like I was hogging all our time together.” He mumbled. “I don’t wanna be a shitty husband to you. I love you so much ya know?”

She bit her lip and played with her food. The feelings talk was a bit harder for her sometimes, something he respected, but sometimes had to push her away from. The only way to really do that was to be open and honest, to show her that he cared about whatever was going on in that beautiful, intelligent head of hers.

“I know...I know how much you love me, and I know we never fight because we always talk first and work things out. And usually I would’ve done that! I think--I think I’m just getting a little stir crazy. I’m used to going going going and always having something to do. When I said you always pick what we do, I didn’t even mean it as an insult. I meant that you have a way of knowing what I want without ever having to ask. Like the day you decided to do a scary movie marathon? It was your idea, and I didn’t think of it but...it was perfect. I just got frustrated that you weren’t understanding me and then that you weren’t listening to me.” She whined, face scrunching up in frustration. “I just wanted you to hear it and it felt like you weren’t hearing me. Usually no one understands me better.”

He nodded vehemently, leaning into her space until his forehead nestled against her. She laid her hand upon his arm and ran her fingers through his arm hair. They each hummed a little, releasing the breath of a heavy day

“I don’t want anyone to. I want to know you as intimately as I can.” He whispered.

She smiled. “You do, babes. It’s why I love you so much.”

“I love you too. I’m sorry. I’ll do my best to listen better okay?”

“Thank you. And I’ll do my best to say what’s on my mind before I go slamming doors.”

He snorted softly. “You’ve got a hell of an arm though, aye?”

“Mhm. That’ll teach you not to fuck with me boy.”

“Would never, my darling.” 

***

Permanent taglist 

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Arrangement Taglist: 

@moonlightmendes22  @cottoncandyshawn @iloveshawnieboi @shawnsblue

@claredolphinbear24 @peterbrokenparker @blackharry @shawnwyr @speakingofmari @moniehp @softmendesss @ydolansss  @chonmnds @MixerMani @kitykatnumber  @lanallaa @palhacomendes @mendesficsxbombay @moniehp @alessiaase

[2018shawn]

3 and 12 from fluff with Shawn!!!

“Have you seen my hoodie?” “Noo.” “You’re wearing it, aren’t you?”

“Am I your lockscreen?” “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

a/n + warnings: hi hello I actually don't really know if I like this but hey HO. the part in italics are flashbacks!!! love u all!! request from here!!

It was a strange feeling for Shawn - you going away and him being the one at home, pining for you to return. It was usually him travelling the world and coming home to call you straight away, begging you to come over. You weren’t an official couple and hadn’t even had the conversation with each other yet, but other people knew you was his and he was yours; nothing more needed to be said. 

"Was your flight okay?” Shawn asked, holding the phone to his ear by pushing his shoulder up to his cheek. He carried his guitar in one hand and fiddled with his keys in the other, until he found the key to his condo.

You could hear him struggling over the phone, laughing to yourself as you flopped onto your hotel room, king sized bed. “It was okay. The most creepiest, sugar daddy kind of guy was sat next to me on the plane. He asked if I wanted to go out with him one night, seeing as we’re both staying in London.”

Shawn’s jaw tensed at your story as he placed his guitar bag down on the floor, kicking the door shut with his foot before disabling the alarm system. You could hear the secure beeps all the way from London. “I hope you told him...” Shawn had to stop himself, remembering that he officially couldn't really say anything, although that almost killed him. “That you’re a lesbian?”

You chuckled uncontrollably at his response, almost feeling giddy that he didn’t want you to go out with another guy. “Not quite, but I told him I’m a one man kinda girl...”

“Oh?” Shawn asked, taking his bottom lip in-between his teeth as he bounced up the stairs, heading straight to his office to load up his computer. He knew you were into him, that was obvious, but he’d never heard you turn anyone down for him before.

“Yep,” You started, popping the p, “so my boyfriend will happy that I shot him down.”

“Oh, your boyfriend?” He asked, raising his eyebrows, not that you could see him. 

“Yeah, you really think I'm here with work?” Shawn laughed down the phone, relieving you that he knew it was all a joke, “nah, I'm kidding no one wants to wife me up.”

“We’ll discuss that when you’re home.” He stated, with a hint of dominance lacing his words that only made you feel like a little girl with her first crush. You weren’t sure if the feelings he gave you would ever dissipate, but you hoped not. “Oh, also, question...” he started, slumping into his desk chair and spinning around as he waited for the computer to load up. “Have you seen my hoodie?” You pulled your lips together, keeping quiet as he continued, “you know the grey Saint Laurent one? I don't know if I left it at yours before you left?”

The strings of said hoodie were currently wrapped around your finger, being twirled as you wondered what you were going to tell him. You hadn’t exactly stolen it, he was the one that carelessly left it and surely boys should know, it is the ultimate mission for a girl to steal their (almost) boyfriend’s favourite jumper. “Noo.” you replied, holding out the last syllable.

“You’re wearing it, aren’t you?” He smiled to himself, not remotely annoyed but more warm and fuzzy. He fiddled with the computer, putting you on loudspeaker so he could multitask - which men couldn’t do very well at the best of times. 

“No? What would make you say that?” You knew you didn’t sound confident in your answer, but that’s because you were well and truly lying.

“Because you can’t lie for shit,” he laughed, “I’m hanging up now, FaceTiming you on the Mac because my phone’s gonna die.” Before you had chance to reply, the line went dead and your phone was ringing again, the FaceTime ringtone filling the echoing hotel room. 

“Okay fine, I'm wearing it.” You laughed as you answered, holding the phone above your face, instantly trying to fix you appearance. You looked like shit, really, you’d just been on an 7 hour flight and you were extremely exhausted, but he didn’t think you looked bad at all. He thought you looked incredible, actually. He loved the way your hair was still in their loose curls, contrasting against the white pillows of the hotel bed, and the way your freckles were on show due to being make up free. 

“I’ll let you off this once, but only because it looks better on you than it does me.” He said, raising his eyebrows and nodding at you through the camera. You admired him in all his beauty; leant back in the leather office chair, curls crazy from his long day but smile still as bright as ever. You made yourself feel sick at the thought of missing him already; you weren’t the type to pine after boys, especially when they’re not even classed as your boyfriend yet. But wherever Shawn was, home was. He took a moment to admire you too, and although you admittedly looked tired from the journey, he basically turned into the heart-eye emoji and wanted to put you on a flight back home already. 

Both of you, of course, were too stubborn to tell one another this. 

“What time is it there, like 11:30?” Shawn asked, looking at his watch for reference of his own time zone. 

You knew you should try sleep and wake up so you weren’t as tired in the morning, but when you worked out the time difference in your head, you’d only just be finishing work and getting ready for your evening routine back home. So instead, you readjusted yourself on the bed, laying on your stomach with your phone held up in front of your face. “Mmhmmm, so that means it’s 4:30 there?” 

Shawn’s face screwed up, looking at you like you’d just asked him to work out some algebra. “I thought you was supposed to be clever?”

“Hey! I am clever” You puffed, flipping him your middle finger. 

“Babe, it’s 6:30; you’re 5 hours ahead not 7.” He picked his phone up off the desk, the screen automatically illuminating as he raised it to the lens of the computer. He flashed you the screen, the image just clear enough for you to make out, no thanks to the hotel’s crappy wifi. “See, 6:30.” 

You went silent, for once in your life not bothering to argue or come back with some smart arse comment. You’d seen his lock screen, although the time covered a tiny area of it, the picture was familiar enough that you recognised it. 

Your feet padded across the carpeted floor of Shawn’s bedroom and although you tried your hardest to be quiet, you’d still manage to wake Shawn, who rolled over in bed and shot upright when he noticed you weren’t there. “Can I steal a t-shirt? I don't wanna make breakfast in last nights dress,” you laughed awkwardly. It was the fifth time you’d stayed over at Shawn’s, and you told yourself the night before you’d have enough willpower to not go home with him. You wanted to keep him on his toes and make sure he didn’t think you’d fall at his feet every time he flashed his stupidly handsome smile. Obviously, it didn’t work and you were now naked in his bedroom, nothing but your clubbing dress to cover your body. 

“Of course, take your pick.” He admired you from where he lay, phone in his hand as he silenced all the incoming texts and calls. You let your fingers drag across the material of his tee’s, sliding open a couple of drawers, expecting something to jump out at you. Knowing you, you’d end up picking his most expensive t-shirt and spilling coffee down it or something. Your eyes caught glimpse of a sports top, cobalt blue with some sporty logo’s on the front and you thought that would be ample. Anything was ample compared to your lingerie clad body, which you suddenly didn’t feel so confident in now the alcohol had worn off. 

As if Shawn wasn’t hard enough this morning, after sleeping with your ass pushing into him all night, his cock twitched when the t-shirt draped over your shoulders. And he thinks that’s when he knew he was falling deep. He swipped up on his phone, the camera app loading and focusing on the image in front of him. 

His personalised jersey, his last name printed above the numbers on the back, looked perfect on you, even more so when you reached up to hang the hanger back on the rail and your white lace panties peeked out from underneath, and he wanted to be reminded of it every time he picked up his phone. He was caught out when the flash went off, and your cheeks flushed a deep red, running over and trying to steal to phone off him. “No, let me keep it!” he whined, telling you it’s for his eyes only. “plus it suits you!” 

You hid your face in the crook of his neck, mumbling into his skin, “it’s a jersey, it suits everyone.”

“I meant the name.”

You were grinning to yourself, butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. “Am I your lockscreen?” 

His eyes widened, looking at his phone and then back up to the camera. He felt like an embarrassed teenager; like how you’d feel when your best friend would tell the person you like, that you like them and the rest of the class would tease you for it. Or when you had your first kiss and everyone wolf whistled and it became the talk of the school. “You weren’t supposed to see that.”

-----

taglist: @imaginashawnns @fallinallincurls

[tcrmommabear]

Merry Christmas Catsafari!

I mean, I’m pretty sure you’ve already read this since you have the link to the word document, but I wanted to officially give this to you!

Inspired by your desire for a Bureau Files AU, The Case of the Three Barons, and Waltz Katzen Blut, we now have the beginnings of Toto x Haru

Also, Haru wonders if feathers technically count as “fur” in some communities. If I could do the eyes emoji, I would, but alas

Merry Christmas, my best friend, and I can’t wait to see you! (oh fudge, tag you, @catsafarithewriter)

The mausoleum door didn’t creak open ominously. Didn’t open to a foreboding dark cavern to who-knows-what down below.

No, it opened to a well lit room. The door simply swung open, newly oiled and built into the walls of this tomb. Names were carved into the granite, but no bodies or ashes laid by them. Or anywhere in this portion of the mausoleum. It was just built ahead of time.

A head poked in, taking a glance around the room. She clicked off the flashlight and opened the door further, stepping out from the dark graveyard into the granite building.

“Looks empty,” she called out, “wait, scratch that, it’s completely empty.”

“Probably for the best, considering what we’re investigating,” a voice told her as they swooped by, the crow flapping into place by the bust of the youngest child.

“Are we sure we aren’t just looking for normal cats, Toto?” Haru whined again, swinging her arms to gesture around the mausoleum.

Toto gave a short laugh, tilting his head in her direction.

“Cats may be fast, but one disappearing before the groundskeeper’s eyes is a little much,” he replied, laughing again as Haru huffed.

“Honestly, I'm just willing to bet this whole thing is a wild cat chase.”

“Not goose?”

“Don’t be silly, geese are terrible enough without paranormal involvement.”

The pair shared a look, before breaking down into laughter, the sound echoing from the marble. Haru wiped a tear away from her face, walking a slow circle around the building.

“I mean, honestly, Toto, the things he tells us to go investigate,” Haru griped, lightly kicking a column that served absolutely no purpose.

“Haru…”

“I mean it! I mean, seriously, ghost cats? What’s next? Ghost turtles?”

“I hear they’re especially crafty.”

“Funny, but you’re not getting a laugh out of me, Mr. Funny Crow.”

Toto gave her a sheepish grin, one that sent a little ping through her heart. She turned away, running her fingers over the walls, looking for some sort of seam or hidden passage. She told herself that at least, to keep from arguing with herself over if feathers counted for…

The silence they fell into was comfortable, but primed. Toto knew her feelings, knew the anger and conflict she felt over their situation. Not their general one, but the one forcing them to investigate a clear deadend. A certain Cat Doll.

“Honestly, what did I even do to him? I just needed help,” she eventually told Toto, voice caught somewhere between angry and defeated. He didn’t like the sound of it.

“He… Changed, when he went missing, Haru. He told me a little bit, but I don’t know any more than you,” he said, apologetic.

She looked at him, their eyes meeting halfway and a million miles apart. She knew he knew more. He knew that. She wanted answers so badly, but knew the exact one. Knew the very obvious answer that frustrated her.

He had met her in that other world. And he walked away burned.

“What did I do?” she asked again, but to no one in particular.

Maybe to that cat sitting on the coffin that wasn’t there before.

“Holy sh-!”

“Watch out!”

The world slowed for seconds. Toto took off towards her. She threw her flashlight. The lights flickered, the cat’s head slowly cocking. Its flesh bubbled.

Toto transformed mid air, and pinned both of them to the floor as black ichor surged from the cat. Even as the air slowly stilled, and what he knew to be infected magic slunk away to hide, Toto didn’t stop covering Haru with his body. The uncut quartz nicked her cheek, the necklace it hung from now more visible against Toto’s human form.

“Well that,” she said as Toto leaned back to let her sit up, “was spooky as hell.”

“I think you’d prefer the ghost turtles now.”

“No thanks, I hear they’re especially crafty.”

They both go to laugh, but the tangled mess of emotions and life-or-death adrenaline catches in their throats and puts it at the bottom of their stomachs. They both stay on the floor, low and quiet, hoping maybe it’d keep whatever caught them from coming back.

“The one mission…” she mumbled angrily.

“The one damn mission he sends me on that’s supposed to be a cat-chase and it turns out it’s actually full of danger.”

“He’s always had that sort of luck and timing,” Toto offers, but this time neither offer even a twitch of the lips for that light jab. He drops the attempts at humor.

“What’s our plan?”

“Don’t get gooed by explosive ghost cats?” Haru offers hesitantly, shrugging at Toto’s side eye. “Leave me alone, this is the first time in a while doing a mission without some Cat Doll telling me I’m messing up.”

“No reason to be out of practice, Haru.”

“Okay, are we going to keep up this banter and flirting all night, or are you going to focus?”

They both laugh a brief second, Haru’s hand moving to cover her mouth before adjusting to scratching at her neck. Okay, she just said that. Toto laughed. She laughed. Jokes, funny, ha ha, right?

There was another cat.

“Fuck!”

She yanked Toto back, pulling him out of the line of fire. Her shoes scrambled against the marble floor, and they fell back against the mausoleum door. The explosion splattered across the sides of the coffins, shooting upwards rather than around.

Before the black magic could disappear, more cats appeared, heads cocking to the side.

One by the tallest window, one on each of coffins, and a final one sitting in front of them. The one before them lashed its tail, eyes two different colors. One a bit too human to be a cat’s eye.

The door behind them slammed into their backs, forcing them forward. They went to land on the cat, their bodies landing on marble flooring. All the cats disappeared, the black magic slinking into the shadows.

A tall, ginger man stepped into the building, looking between the two lying on the floor. His expression was impassive, offering a hand to Toto to help him up, his words only directed towards him.

“Are you alright, old friend? Looks like I found you in the knick of time,” he said, swiping at supposed dirt on Toto’s shoulder.

“I’m fine, too, Humbug,” Haru groaned, sitting up and rubbing the back of her head.

“Humbug” froze, giving Toto a moment to escape from his tight grasp and head towards Haru. He knelt down, pressing gently fingers around where Haru had touched. She winced, hissing in protest when he continued to search.

“You’re tough as nails, Haru, Baron and I knew you were fine,” Toto told her, shooting a warning glance at their third. He briefly held his hands up in surrender, glancing between the two.

Toto kept his eyes on Haru, searching for injury or any touch of black magic. Haru glanced between Toto and Baron, narrowing her eyes at the later. She seemed a little too preoccupied with the former, though.

Baron kept his eyes on the two of them.

Muta, entering after (as a cat, not a human), surveyed the situation, and caught what most wouldn’t see. Baron’s grip tightened on the cane. Throat bobbed nervously. Eyes followed the same path Toto’s hands took, double checking what he found.

Expression just barely hiding the concern and worry he had for the young woman on the floor.

“What did you guys find, anyways?” Haru suddenly asked, pushing Toto away. She grabbed the top of the coffin, hauling herself up to be at chin-level with the men around her. (A fact she was always a bit salty about).

“Bupkis,” Muta responded, watching Baron’s expression fall into unflappable cool. “The groundskeeper’s house had nothing, and the crypt we wandered into had actual dead people.”

“I’d take corpses over exploding cats at this point,” Haru responded, chills running up her spine at the thought.

“You would until their ghosts start yelling at you for trespassing,” Muta countered, nodding towards Baron. “In German, too.”

The others looked at the Cat Creation turned man. He at least allowed himself to turn pink in the ears.

“They were… Quite angry.”

“Great, so real ghosts, cat-ghosts, what else are we to expect from here?”

“Ghost turtles?” Toto prompted, nudging Haru. She gave a small grin. The joy melted off her face, replaced with horrified bewilderment.

“Oh my fucking-!”

A little turtle sat on the window sill across from her, eyeing the others. Its head cocked to the left.

“God dammit Toto!”

[askauradonprep]

So, what would everyone think of the two rumble matches last night? Anyone happy with the results? Mad? Had a favorite part/least favorite part?

I was actually going to write a series of ‘tweets’ for some friends who enjoy WWE and Descendants so I’m reallllllllyyyyyy glad you asked.

Sheamus vs Chad Gable (I refuse to dignify the stupid storyline that called him ‘Shorty G’) - 

@MalGuillory - Okay, yeah. Kinda shoulda seen this coming on the pre-show. Not a bad start! At least it wasn’t the girls or the tags this time -_-

@LiLonnie - YES! Welcome back Sheamus! I’m sorry, Shorty, I love you too.

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Meh. Slow start but not bad.

@JayRasheed - When’s The Bar coming back?@CarlosDeville replied - @Cesaro https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LH4Y1ZUUx2g

@BenBonhomme - Not a bad start! Welcome back, Sheamus!

 Andrade vs Humberto Carrillo - 

@CrownPrincessRuby - Ahhh! I don’t know who to cheer for! Someone help!@PrincessAnxelin replied - Seriously, she’s making the ‘computer overheating whirring’ noise.

@BenBonhomme - Awww! I thought Humberto had him. Next time for sure!

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Was kinda hoping Zelina’d turn on Andrade. Oh well.@CrownPrincessRuby replied - BITE YOUR TONGUE. Zelina and Andrade are so good together!@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa replied - Zelina Vega’s good on her own too. It’s a waste for her to stay with him if they’re not mixed tagging.

@LiLonnie - That was a good match! Bummer for Humberto, but I’m happy for Andrade.

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Wait. Both matches were title-less. IS WWE LEARNING HOW TO BOOK PRE-SHOWS?!?? #ItsAMiracle@HarryHook replied - They must be reading your twitter, Captain. Seems more likely. 

Roman vs Corbin - 

@BenBonhomme - EXCELLENT start to the Rumble! Well done Roman Reigns!

@PrincessAudreyVictore - #ThankYouRoman for having the grace, determination and LEADERSHIP a true King offers.

@JayRasheed - I love Corbin, but as soon as he opened that dog food, he had that coming. Good job, Big Dog.

@CarlosDeville - That’s what you GET for messing with the bloodline!

@LiLonnie - YEAH! Great job Roman! The Usos coming to help had me T.T

@MalGuillory - #WelcomeToTheRumble

@4HeartsEvie - Maybe now Corbin can get a new crown? Please? My work email’s in my description. I’LL DO IT FOR FREE.@Evie’sManagerDoug replied - Please don’t do it for free. 

@PrincessAnxellin - I still think Corbin should’ve won. *shrug*@CrownPrinceChad replied - You and me both.

 Women’s Rumble - 

@MalGuillory - Alright! Let’s get this party started!

@LiLonnie - Already??? Oh well. 

@LiLonnie - OMG OMG Molly Holly, okay, I take it back. @MalGuillory replied - Hey, chill! You’re not allowed to die tonight!@LiLonnie replied - Bold of you to assume Asuka vs Becky isn’t gonna kill me but okay.

@4HeartsEvie - I see we’ve reached the ‘Lonnie freaking out about the Legends’ portion of the show.@JayRasheed replied - Seriously. I’ve learned about 99% of the legends I know about from her freaking out. 

@PrincessAudreyVictore - #ESTofNXT let’s go!

@PrincessAudreyVictore - Oh no! Mercedes Martinez is here! Who am I supposed to cheer for now?@LiLonnie replied - I love them all. Feel my pain. @PrincessAudreyVictore replied - You love all wrestlers. You just have that ‘I just hope both teams have fun’ sign. :P

@JaneCollingwood - I love Lana’s gear! So pretty!

@CarlosDeville - GO LANA!

@MalGuillory - Oh, Liv, what did they do to you? T . T #Travesty

@CarlosDeville - YEAH! NAOMI!

@CrownPrincessRuby - YES! Welcome back Glow Queen! #Naomi

@CarlosDeville - GET THEM NAOMI

@JaneCollingwood - Oh, yay! Welcome back, Naomi!

@MalGuillory - I…seriously? Santina Marella? What?@LiLonnie replied - Long story, bad joke, tell you later.

@PrincessAudreyVictore - We could have had Sasha in the 29th slot. #JustSaying. 

@WhatmynameUmaThalassa - Seriously? I’d say ‘keep Santina Marella in 2009 where it belongs’ but…it didn’t.@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - The only good thing about this is Beth’s ‘I know where I’m hiding the body’ face.

@MalGuillory - Seriously? No Nia, No Ruby, barely any Liv, Sarah or Tamina? I’m disappointed. Fire & Desire never do though.

@PrincessAudreyVictore - #BowDownToTheQueen

@LiLonnie - She did it! Charlotte Flair did it! @LiLonnie - I just remembered she said she wanted to win the Rumble for her brother. BRB, crying again.

@MadMaddy - As if it were ever in doubt! #Bowdowntothequeen

@JaneCollingwood - Yay, Charlotte! Good job!

@BenBonhomme - Excellent work from all the WWE’s women. They should be very proud of their roster.@4HeartsEvie replied - They should be! And yet…@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa replied - Hey! That’s my line!

@4HeartsEvie - I could not possibly be prouder of Charlotte Flair. Well done. I wish the Bellas could be back but since they can’t.

@CrownPrinceChad - Excellent work from Charlotte. 

@JadeRasheed - *gay panic*

Bayley vs Lacey - 

@JaneCollingwood - I know she’s my favourite wrestler, but I don’t like evil Bayley. I miss the old one.@CarlosDeville replied - We all do. It’s okay.

@MalGuillory - Huh. Kinda thought they’d have Lacey win. She’s been getting pushed and Bayley….hasn’t.

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Bayley needed that win. Point blank.

@PrincessAudreyVictore - Good. She’ll still have the belt for Sasha when she gets back.

@CrownPrincessRuby - I feel bad for Lacey’s daughter but great work, Bayley!@PrincessAudreyVictore replied - I love Lacey Evans, but I have a feeling Bayley won’t keep her belt much longer… *eyes emoji*

@BenBonhomme - That’s too bad. I was kind of rooting for Lacey this time. Oh well. 

@CrownPrinceChad - Boooooooooreeeeeed.

 Bray Wyatt vs Daniel Bryan - 

@FreddieFacilier - YESSSS. Let’s go Fiend already!

@CeliaFacilier - YES, GET HIM WYATT!

@ArabellaUnderTheSea - COME ON DBRY! You’ve fought this clown before!

@MalGuillory  - Yeaaaaaaaaaaahhhh, kinda saw that coming.

@FreddieFacilier - Was that a heel look I saw on DBry? Because yes please.

@Celia - The Fiend won! The Fiend won! I’m so happy!

@BenBonhomme - WHO is going to stop the Fiend? We’re gonna need the Big Dog aren’t we?@PrincessAudreyVictore replied - We ALWAYS need the Big Dog, thank you. 

@Evie’sManagerDoug - If the Fiend’s going down, it’ll be at Mania. @JayRasheed replied - I agree. It’s too early.@CarlosDeville replied - Too EARLY? He only bothers to defend the belt at Pay-per-views. We don’t need two Bork Lasers here. @LiLonnie replied - That’s not entirely true.@CarlosDeville replied - It is on tv.@FreddieFacilier replied - Look, WWE needs a new horror character with Taker gone. Let me have this!@CarlosDeville replied - Okay, fair. I just wish he defended more.

 Becky vs Asuka - 

@LiLonnie - I’m dead. RIP me. Cremate me and put my ashes in the family temple. Cause of death - Asuka and Becky Lynch.@MalGuillory replied - She’s lying down on the floor and hasn’t moved for ten minutes. I think she’s really dead this time.@JayRasheed replied - RIP Lonnie I guess.@CrownPrinceChad replied - Does this mean the captaincy is open?@4HeartsEvie replied - RIP. 

@JayRasheed - #She’sTheMan

@JaneCollingwood - Awww! I wanted Asuka to win! Becky’s on a roll though. She looked great.

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - DAMN. Smacked the mist right out of her mouth!@HarryHook replied - Match of the night for sure!

@CrownPrincessRuby - What a match! I’m officially retiring now. There’s no point in staying, that was so good.@PrincessAnxellin replied - Uh, what about OUR TITLES???@CrownPrincessRuby replied - Oh, right. Retirement postponed. @BenBonhomme replied - Should I cancel your cake?@CrownPrincessRuby replied - Absolutely not! Anytime’s a good time for cake!

@MalGuillory - That kick to the face though. I *felt* that one.@4HeartsEvie replied - So did I! 

@4HeartsEvie - They were both so pretty! I love their gear. 

@JadeRasheed - *gay panics harder*@JayRasheed - She’s not joking. Her exact words right next to me - “Holy CRAP am I ever gay.”

@PrincessAudreyVictore - Well done ladies! Now, can you please stop killing my friend??? #RIPLonnie

@BenBonhomme - What a match! This was worth the wait! 

Men’s Rumble - 

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Watch them just feed the roster to Bork Laser.@GilGaston replied - I hope not! D: Will Lesnar be okay?@HarryHook replied - Gil…

@LiLonnie - I will not have words to describe how annoyed I will be if the point of this match is to feed the Rumble to Lesnar.

@JayRasheed - Damn. Even Mysterio and Kofi????@CarlosDeville - I WISH I was surprised.

@CrownPrincessRuby - THE DISRESPECT THE WWE KEEPS GIVING REY MYSTERIO DISGUSTS ME. FUCK. OFF. WITH THAT NOISE.@PrincessAnxellin replied - She just gave off the most swear words I have EVER heard her say in my living room. Aunt Cass would have a heart attack. 

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Yup. Women’s Rumble wins again. 3-0. Sorry guys, maybe next year booking won’t be a dick.

@HarryHook - FUCK YEAH MCINTYRE!

@CrownPrincessRuby - MCINTYRE AND RICOCHET JUST DID *THAT*

@CrownPrinceAziz - HA! Don’t sleep on Ricochet!

@PrincessAudreyVictore - FINALLY they got him out of there!@4HeartsEvie replied - Just in time for the last half too.

@MalGuillory - Holy shit will the guys get to actually wrestle??? Stay tuned.

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - So now that Lesnar’s 15 man long dick sucking’s over, we can start the RUMBLE! Finally!

@GilGaston - Brock Lesnar is SO COOL. I wish I could dominate like that. He tossed over like 15 guys!@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa replied - I like you better the way you are.@GilGaston replied - :D

@JayRasheed - GOOD. Now let’s goooooooo!

@LiLonnie - OMG.@LiLonnie - OMG. @LiLonnie - I cAN’t@LiLonnie - I caN’t beLieve 

@JayRasheed - Okay, so, Lonnie just burst into tears so I’m guessing this Edge guy’s important?

@MalGuillory - Uh, anyone want to explain why Lonnie won’t stop crying?@MalGuillory - WAIT. That’s the guy who had the same injury Paige did!@MalGuillory - AWESOME. Welcome back, Edge!

@BenBonhomme - Amazing! Welcome back, Edge!

@PrincessAudreyVictore - I don’t think I can tweet anymore, Lonnie’s digging her nails in my arm to every time something happens to Edge.

@LiLonnie - BE CAREFUL WITH HIS NECK OMG

@JayRasheed - Aw yeah! Bring on the Big Dog!

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - Sorry, Rollins, you deserved that ass kicking.@CarlosDeville replied - For real.

@JayRasheed - Double spears! Nice!

@LiLonnie - *incoherent wrestling fan screaming*

@HarryHook - I repeat - FUCK YEAH MCINTYRE@WhatsmynamedUmaThalassa retweeted this.

@JayRasheed - Oh come on. Big Dog should’ve had that covered.@PrincessAudreyVictore replied - I can only assume booking wanted someone new. Too bad. @PrincessAudreyVictore replied - I got my hopes up when the crowd was behind Roman.@JayRasheed replied - There’s always next year. He’ll get them then. 

@WhatsmynameUmaThalassa - A+ McIntyre. Match started slow, but it ended just right. 

@LiLonnie - Good job, Drew McIntyre! No complaints from me. 

@BenBonhomme - That was an awesome show! Well deserved, McIntyre. Well deserved wins all around. 

[nautiscarader]

Phinbella 8

( (Ao3) (Next>>)

Isabella wasn’t sure if what was happening to her was real, or was it just an effect of blood slowly draining from her brain, making her light-headed and drift into her fantasy. But as the world around her kept spinning, she decided to not overthink it and embraced it, clutching Phineas’ body even tighter, much to his simultaneous confusion and enjoyment.

Just a few hours ago, she was helping her boyfriend build something truly monumental for their annual end of the Summer celebration, which this year took a form of a giant ferris wheel, swinging each cabin in more than one direction, essentially giving everyone a chance to experience how it must feel to be a candidate for a pilot or an astronaut, by putting them in a massive centrifuge.

She hopped in with Phineas, put the seatbelts on, and a moment later she was spinning around, as the enormous device began rotating its long arms, and the backyard was filled with screams of twenty other students also enjoying the test ride. Despite the humongous force and velocity achieved by the capsules, Isabella didn’t feel nauseous at all, despite the fact that the horizon very rarely was seen as a horizontal construct through the windows of their cabin. Her heart was racing, and as if the thrill of the attraction wasn’t enough, she felt Phineas’ hand on hers, his fingers intertwining with hers. She looked at him and leaned in for a kiss.

But no sooner than their lips brushed, something has happened that made the entire machine jump in place with a loud, ominous rumble. Phineas’ opened his eyes wide, and after a few seconds of nervous looking around, he came to a terrifying conclusion.

- Uh, change of plans, we’re going for a flight! - he spoke to the microphone.

From an outsider’s point of view, it must have been an imposing sight, to see the swirling mess of metal rising up into the air, like a huge gyroscope operating just with its momentum, and then moving in the air currents, with no sight of slowing down. For the passengers, however, it took them a moment to realise they have detached from the mast and they were now sailing through the air, left on the weather’s mercy.

- Phineas! - Isabella cried, leaping from her seat - Can’t-Can’t we do anything? - I… I don’t think so. - he looked around. - We need to lose the speed, but then we’re gonna start falling down.

He pulled the lever in front of him, and before it reached its apex, he gave her final warning.

- Hold on, this might not be as comfortable as I thought.

But instead of the satisfying “click” of her belt, Isabella leapt into his arms, clutching him tightly, with her arms wrapped around his neck.

- I-Isabella! - Ssh - she put his mind at ease - This is the safest place for me…

She cupped his face and pressed her lips to his, letting him feel the vibrations of the capsule through her body, immersing him with the pleasure he didn’t expect to feel today. And then, Isabella closed the safety belt behind her back, locking the two together.

- Gotta stay extra safe.

She giggled and let Phineas push the lever, as her kiss deepened. She felt the sudden shaking and quaking around her, and with each, she dug deeper into him, pressing her body against his, locking the two in the most intimate of embraces. Once he had no control of the device, Phineas’ hand found its way to her back, adding another level of security.

But his hands roaming over her back paled in comparison to what she felt between her legs. As the force has pushed her petite frame into the seat, and, consequently, into Phineas, it became impossible not to notice that even in this dire situation he was still a man.

And from the feel of it, she was a very lucky woman.

Isabella’s eyes opened and she met Phineas’, equally wide and filled with the mixture of guilt and excitation he couldn’t quite contain. Isabella had only one cure for that, and it was more kisses. But this time, they were hungrier and more ravenous than before. She wished she could close her legs around his torso, and instead, she did that to the chair he was in, still getting enough stimulation she was seeking.

Phineas finally responded with a few more riskier moves of his hands and fingers that now danced around her waist and bum, a territory he hasn’t been permitted to so far, and yet, he heard no objections from Isabella about his intrusions. Her hair flowed up and down, back and forth, as the machine kept rotating, soaring down into the ground, and with each second of their downfall, Isabella placed more and more bets loving her boyfriend, knowing she might very well have no other chances to do so.

She moved up and down against him, moaning into his mouth, though their intimate kiss broke off soon as Phineas was forced to groan as well, joining his girlfriend in the carnal music they were creating. Though their bodies were pushed towards each other with the centrifugal force, physics couldn’t rival Isabella’s passion that drove her into him. Unabashedly, disregarding all norms, she was thrusting her body, feeling his length through his jeans, and hoping he can experience as much stimuli as she was. His reddened face told her he definitely felt her breasts being pressed against his chest and when he broke their kiss off again, just to leave a mark on her cleavage, Isabella cried his name, pushing his face deep into her bosom.

They were still falling, and with that, Isabella felt she was flying, high into the air, wrapped around her boyfriend, and as she was about to pass out, she let it go, and allowed the flame building in her loins to consume her. Her back arched, she trashed against Phineas so hard, the safety belt unclipped, and as they flew up, she was finally able to close her legs behind him, just as she felt his hips began jerking uncontrollably, and he started babbling her name.

Their lips pressed against each other, in the longest, happiest and dirtiest kiss they have ever exchanged, as the pleasure radiated not just through their individual bodies, but seemed to overlap and spread through each other’s, mixing and strengthening, as the two writhed against each other.

Isabella closed her eyes, waiting for the sweet release of… something, when she heard croaky voice of Phineas, speaking, or rather wheezing into the microphone again.

- Pre…preparing for landing… We… we hope you enjoyed our little controlled tu…turbulence….

He pushed a button and braced Isabella, as their joined bodies slowly fell to the roof and then to the floor, their limbs still tangled in a messy knot. It took Isabella a while to understand that they were not dead, and that they have not been plummeting to their death the whole time. The machine was slowly stopping, and soon, the metallic arms folded down, and twenty capsules were gently laid onto the ground, still in the backyard of Phineas’ house.

- Did… did you like it? - Phineas asked, his face still torn with a mixture of bewilderment and shock, though his lips were starting to curl into a smile. - Yes. - Isabella spoke - I definitely liked it. - But do you-do you mean… - Yes.

And she kissed him again, pulling him into a heated, passionate kiss, now feeling more than ever the familiar stickiness that so far she only associated with private intimate moments of her bedroom, decorated with pictures of Phineas. Their serene moment was suddenly interrupted by a an angry shriek from outside.

- PHINEAS! Were is he-Oh for crying out loud, get a room, you two! - Candace, they are eighteen… - Stacey spoke, wobbling behind her impatient friend - And well, it’s not like they couldn’t have done that earlier… - I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA DIE! - Candace screamed - I wrote half of my last will with emojis! - she shoved her phone up her brother’s face. - Easy, easy Candace. Let the two breathe…

Stacey smiled at the two and let her frustrated friend out. Phineas blinked, as only now realised that for the last minute or so he was lying on top of Isabella, and he jumped back, breathing nervously. Isabella sat up and gave him another soothing kiss, brushing his dishevelled hair, and the two stared deep into their eyes, watching as their face redden while the memories of the past few minutes flood them in a silent moment of intimacy. This one, however, was also interrupted by Candace’s loud voice, echoing from other side of the yard.  

- Where is Ferb? I gotta bust one of yo-OH GOD, VANESSA, PUT SOME CLOTHES ON! HOW DID YOU EVEN MANAGE TO DO THAT IN THERE?! AND WHY DIDN’T I BRING JEREMY?

[guacameowle]

V’s After End - Notes / Opinion

Below the cut will be my reactions, opinions, & spoilers for V’s After Ending episodes & endings. There’s a sprinkling of ~thirst~ & a lot of confusion/screaming throughout. I am afraid I haven’t gone back to proofread the episode reactions, so they’re likely a little messy & misspelled. 

Episode reactions are at the top, separated by episode & endings. Long-winded opinion/discussion about the route itself is at the bottom.

Journey below at your own risk! xx

Episode 1

80 hourglasses for EPISODE ONE? Oh this man is EXPENSIIIIVE. How many episodes is this going to be? 8 TOTAL?! Goodness.

JUDGE OR FORGIVE?! Who am I judging & forgiving? Jihyun? Rika? Cauuuuuse... uhhhh.... that might change my answers a bit (a lot)

So this means there is going to be multiple endings, yeah?!

Probably hasn’t even kissed you yet & is already packing up, leaving, & asking you to wait for him. I WAIT FOR NO MAN (Jk I waited for this man for over a year. Fuck.)

Oh shiiiit. He’s leaving me his house?! Ok, I’ll wait. Have fun storming the castle! *waves*

Excuse me but does the news screen on Jumin’s tv in his room show a picture of Rika & a caption underneath that says “More Catfood”???

The bottom of the news reel also says “Does Jumin Han is Gay?” Please, release us. Let it die.

JUUUMIIIIN. DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF. Let us comfort each other in these trying times. *waggles eyebrows*

JAEHEE COMING THROUGH WITH SOME GODDAMN SENSE & LOGIC. MY GIRL!

SOMEONE GET THIS MAN HIS WINE! Ohhh, nevermind he’s been drinking too much. Let’s have some water now, Juju.

This man is mourning & distraught. I am so sad for him. & now they’re making him dependent on alcohol to relieve his stress? Uh, I don’t like where this is going.

If anything happens to Jumin in this ending I swear...

WE HAVE CHATS TOO?! Damn what a complex update!

Wait, Zen WANTS to see MC & Jihyun being lovey dovey? Zen’s an imposter. He’s been replaced. That’s the real secret of this After End.

Oh wait, he said he was lying. Whew.

It is weird giving replies in chats & not seeing little colorful hearts flying everywhere…

Zen coming in HOT with the “Do you think you can forgive Rika?” question. Woooow.

You bet your ass I asked if anyone has heard anything from Ray. I’m going to cry.

NEW SEVEN CG! SO CUTE! VANDERWOOD IN THE RAFT! SO CUUUUUTE!

“He’s an adorable shy man.” Instantly chose this option. Vanderwood is cuuuute. Yes, Seven, please tell Vandy that I called him adorable & shy. Then tell me his reply. Then give him my number.

Yoosung’s got a package. I’M SURE HE DOES. ::eyes emoji::

OH SHIT, JUMIN DROPPING THE DNA BOMB. Wait, riddle me why the fuck Jumin had access to Seven’s DNA in the first place...

Poor Seven, I thought he had already sort of knew/assumed the hacker was his twin. But I guess he didn’t really know until now?

Looks like I’m on the “FORGIVE” path. Unlocked a Jumin’s VA free chat. Alriiiight.

Episode 2

Ray? Omg my eyes teared up. IS HE ALIVE?! WHAT KINDA SHORT TEASE OF A VOICE IS THAT?! OMFGGGGG. D:

Episode 2 & I’m already fucking crying. Great. Awesome. Lovely.

Honestly, I’m glad they’re having this discussion about V keeping all this information to himself about Saeran’s existence & use within Magenta because that’s always had me side-eyeing V HARD. I’m still of the opinion that he should have told at least Seven & Jumin about everything sooner. I get that he wanted to save Rika, but he was responsible for Saeran. I’m still heated.

SAEYOUNG HAS GONE ROGUE!

Mailman route when?! Kidding. His voice is nice though.

“Burn the letter” JESUS, MC. CALM IT DOWN.

RIKA WENT MISSING. OMFGGGG. THIS AFTER END! I JUST WANTED TO KISS JIHYUN. WHAT THE FRICK FRACK IS GOING ON?!

“We found remnants of DNA that matched with those of Luciel scattered about in the remains of Magenta. Since the explosion was of no ordinary size….” My heart hurts. My head hurts. My soul hurts.

This super sad music is just making me feel worse. I hate this. I’m crying again. I’m getting emotional whiplash.

Ray deserved better. Full stop.

Rika & Saeyoung left alone & Ray’s theme starts playing. How fucking dare this game fuck with me. I’m literally lying on the floor in a ball, playing this game & crying. What the hell.

For a second I saw Saeyoung making that fist in the CG & thought he was about to punch Rika.

Wow can y’all believe Jihyun basically Noped the Fuck Out of his own After End?

Hey Siri, turn off Rika’s voice.

Seven is dropping a lot of truth. ::quietly sips my tea::

God, Saeyoung’s prayer to Saeran is heartbreaking. Props to this VA though, damn he’s good.

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. I’m going to have fun going back & taking the judgement path.

Episode 3

Jumin “THERE WILL BE NO MORE SECRETS” Han fucking coming through! My boy! God, I love him so much.

First sun reference we’ve had. I thought there would be more by now.

Jihyun is out there falling in love with an MC in his head that he’s hardly spoken with since he left. That… can’t be healthy, my dude.

Jumin showing up in the goddamn woods in his suit is hot.

Jumin Han is so so good, y’all. This conversation between him & Saeyoung is absolutely amazing. He’s doing his best to comfort & protect at the same time. He asked about Saeran. He’s encouraging Saeyoung to live, helping him understand he’ll come out of this pain & find new reasons to live. He’s struggling too, but he’s doing so much to reach out & help Saeyoung.

The line about creating a new family, one without blood ties, broke me.

Uhhhh…. who was that? “We found him but that woman is with him.” Saeyoung & Rika?

THE STRESS GAVE ZEN A PIMPLE. Can relate.

Hell yeah I flirted with Zen. He is still prettier than starlight.

“Why don’t you come over? :)” MC. GIRL. …. I like the way you think.

Yoosung: “WELL I’M NOT GANDHI.” I fucking lost my shit.

“Should I drive V’s car?” Uhhhhh YES.

“But you’re gonna have to drive thru the night for hours. I’m kind of worried.” Bitch, I’m from Texas. I got this. 8 hours is a SHORT TRIP.

The disrespect. They aren’t going to let me drive. I don’t need a man to drive me.

DID VANDERWOOD JUST? OMG DID HE? DID HE JUST SHOOT SAEYOUNG?! BITCH, I LOVED YOU????? & YOU DID THIS????

Omg my heart. Why do they play with my emotions like this. Whew. WHEWWW.

VANDERWOOD CG!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Saeyoung is getting a lot of love tonight from his two new dads- Jumin & Vanderwood. Soft love & tough love. Shouting love at you with a gun in your face is new though.

YES! LET’S LOOK FOR A BODY! I STILL HAVE A SHRED OF HOPE RAY IS ALIVE. C’MON CHERITZ, PLEASE.

“Would you mind giving me some spotlight now?” Please let this be foreshadowing. I would eat UP a Vanderwood route.

Is another agency trying to kidnap Saeyoung? I am confusion? His dad?

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. Yoosung’s VA has a cute voice. I liiiiike.

Episode 4

My Yoosung is so sad. This boy has a lot of hate built up in him. First for V, now for Rika &&& V. Goodness.

She? Who the hell is Rika talking about? She who?!

Seems like everyone is concerned that MC will pity or listen to Rika too much. Hmm. Hmm hmmm…

Jumin is getting shit DONE.

2 years flashback. ????

Mika?! Who the fuck? Is this the “she” Rika was talking about earlier?

What he hell kinda narrative? Who is this woman? Supposedly some other girl from the orphanage Rika was a part of. She’s introduced & being used as the device that implanted this idea into Rika’s brain that she had “a devil” inside of her? She’s the reason Rika broke it off with V? Why? This feel like it cheapens everything. & why the hell is she calling Rika “Mina”? Is that Rika’s real name & I just forgot?!

IS RIKA LYING? WHY DID SHE WAIT THIS LONG TO TELL SAEYOUNG ABOUT THIS “STURDY ROOM”? COULD SAERAN REALLY BE ALIVE? Or is she trying to trick Saeyoung into leaving the cabin?!

Ok so the twins’ father has to be in on this somehow. He’s probably the one trying to get Saeyoung, I get that much. Omg... what if the reason they didn’t find proof of Saeran being dead is because his dad snatched up the remains?! Or kidnapped him alive? Or or or

Still on the “FORGIVE” path. This is hard. I want to be mean. 😈

Episode 5

I don’t know why I go into this game thinking I will just get to kiss the pretty boy. Or any boy.

Ok so more hints dropped their dad is probably involved.

“I am waiting for a letter.” GIRL, FUCK V’S LETTER. HE IS NOT HERE. SHIT IS GOING DOWN. LIVE IN THE MOMENT. IF HE WANTS TO BE OFF SMELLING FLOWERS, LET HIM. I AM TIRED.

I hope hope hope they find Saeran. Please please PLEASE.

I FORGOT. IF RAY IS ALIVE HE IS GOING THROUGH DETOX ALONE BURIED UNDER RUBBLE & ASH. I AM LIVID! WHAAAAT! SAVE. HIM.

Zen’s “WOOOOW” made me laugh.

These new CGs are a delight. I like seeing the mix of characters in them, too. Zen’s hand is huge. ::eyes emoji:: 

Maaan, Yoosung really flipped emotional spectrums so fast about Rika. The boy is certainly driven by his emotions.

These philosophical type chats always blow me away. This game really does get you thinking about social constructs. Fun & educating. Huh.

Getting these dirty boys to wash their hands before eating.

SAERAN MADE IT OUT?!

THAT IS SAERAN’S COUGH. OMG. HE IS ALIVE?!?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SAERAN!!!!

Still on “FORGIVE” path.

Episode 6

Jumin, this is a very roundabout way to tell Saeyoung you care about him & just want to look after him. You long-winded, man. I adore you.

SAEYOUNG HAS MORE VALUE THAN JUST WHAT HIS HACKING ABILITIES CAN BRING TO THE TABLE! LEAN ON YOUR FRIENDS/FAMILY, SAEYOUNG. THEY CARE FOR YOU!

10 years?! I don’t know if that is a blessing or a curse. Lol. That’s a lengthy commitment for Saeyoung though.

“Why must we give up one thing once we get something else?” Yeah, Cheritz. Why must we give up one boy once we save the other boy?!?! Hmmmm???? Lmaoooo

Saeyoung in a suit & tie!!!!!!! Niiiiiiice.

How in the hell are they gonna wrap up this story?! It’s gonna be a cliffhanger isn’t it?! Omg...

Did these idiots just straight up leave Zen, Yoosung, & MC in a random cabin in the woods FOR DAYS & go back to civilization on their own? How long does it take to return Rika back to proper authorizes?! Goodness.

WHAT?!

WHAAAAT THE FUCK?!?!

V TOOK SAERAN?! WHEN? HOW? WHAT? 

MY JAW JUST POPPED IT DROPPED SO HARD. WHAT THE SHIIIIIT?!?!

Uhhhh lmao uhm why are they dressed like Jedi? Jihyun is giving Obi Wan vibes right now. I’m cackling, when I shouldn’t be. This is supposed to be a serious moment, goddamnit.

I know Jihyun probably thinks he’s doing right by taking care of Saeran but AGAIN WITH THIS DOING IT ON HIS OWN BUSINESS?! Saeyoung is devastated his brother & all the while Jihyun had actually swooped him away for some self-medicated detox tour? Just more & more secrets. I’m tired.

“Let’s wait until detox is done & you don’t wanna murder your brother. So I booked a flight for next week.” A WEEK? HA! YEAH RIGHT! BEST CANCEL THAT.

Oh, he just keeps booking & cancelling flights. Lmao. Ok. I am less judgmental now.

If Saeyoung & Saeran don’t get a reunion.... I will die inside.

Unlocked the “FORGIVE” ending.

Shit that costs 80hg too? I have nearly depleted what I had saved up!

BUT HOLY SHIT Y’ALL. SAERAN IS ALIVE! 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

“FORGIVE” Ending

This song is hauntingly beautiful.

Who is this speaking?

Is Rika high right now wtf?!

God is a woman.

I am so over all this sun talk. Let. It. Go.

Weren’t security guards left with them at the cabin?! Did Rika just WALK out?!

Of course she’s going to run away & get away with everything. Mhmm ok.

NOW THEY ARE COMING FOR JUMIN’S COMPANY?! I THOUGHT THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE GOOD END WTF. I’LL FIGHT. DON’T COME FOR C&R. I’LL THROW DOWN. JUMIN BETTER NOT LOSE EVERYTHING.

So Rika is gone & for no reason Zen & Yoosung & MC are going to stay in the cabin alone? (& not have a threesome?!?!?!)

Jumin is literally putting his own company on the line to protect Saeyoung. This man is amazing. “We’ll rebuild.” My nipples are hard. Jumin has fully aroused me. I would have taken him right on a conference table.  

Welcome to Rika’s Ted Talk

Well.... I am pleased she stepped up & laid the truth all out there. Took us years to get here, lads, but we did it!

Twin cribs. Hmmm.

2 YEARS LATER?! SO THIS CONNECTS TO THE GOOD END OF JIHYUN’S ROUTE?!

2 years, huh... I would have shacked up with Jumin looooong before now. That man is a whole snack. Selfless, sweet, handsome, has a cat. I’m thirsty.

Jumin’s become an alcoholic?! Great. /s I guess this is meant to show just how drastic things are? That Jumin, our token rational & logical man, is resorting to a dangerous lifestyle as a means of coping? I’m heartbroken.

“Have I kept you waiting for too long.” Yes.

His gift better be bringing Saeran on stage because if he unveils a white puzzle I will lose my fucking mind. It is nearly 4am. I haven’t slept. I just want a smooch.

Omg I think it’s happening.

It’s gonna happen.

OMGGGGG

Please let there be a CG of this

IT HAPPENED!!!!! THEY REUNITED!!!! OMG!!!!!

LONGEST HELL YEAH BOOOOY OF MY LIFE

Pink suit pink suit pink suit PINK SUIT!!!! 💗

Ohhhh... Saeran has burns all over his face & his hand. Is his whole left side burned? My poor boy.

5 years later?!? (Mmmm think about mid30s Jumin Han though 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻)

*gasp* A BABY!

Holy shit, not a baby. A full child.

Awwww Saeyoung & Saeran live together!!

YEEESSSS. GET THIS LITTLE GIRL INTO STEM!!!! 

“When is Uncle Jumin gonna marry.” I marry him every few weeks, little girl. 👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻 when I reread his endings.

“Daddy thinks he will never get married.” I am now sad. I want to marry Jumin.

Jaehee got a promotion. Good for her. It’s what she deserves.

Aw Lucy is cute. Surprised they didn’t give her Jihyun’s hair color.

Their house has a lot of windows. 👀👀👀 Floor to ceiling windows. 👀👀👀 Good for fucking against. 👀👀👀👀

THIS CHILD IS ALREADY LEARNING TO KEEP SECRETS. NOOOOO. BREAK THIS CHAIN!

“Daddy is good with secrets, too.” TRUST ME, LITTLE GIRL. WE KNOW. WE KNOOOW. Y’all the noise I made when I read this line. Scoff wheezing?! Full exasperation.

“But you tell everything to Mommy!” About fucking time, honestly. How long did it take for him to break his secrets habit?

Ohhhhh she’s adopted! That’s why she doesn’t have his hair color. Curious why they didn’t go with the biological child path? I certainly don’t mind adoption. It definitely feels like a sort of tribute to Rika.

Girl already has a crush on Zen. Ha! Giiiirl, same. Jihyun’s reaction was funny.

I wanna ride Zen’s motorcycle & his diiiiiiiii

7 years later & Yoosung is still addicted to LOLOL. Keep it up, Yoosung. Live your best gaming life.

Now she’s plotting murder against her own dad. Goodness. & Yoosung just TOLD her this entire dark plot of the game. Lmaooooo

What happened to Vanderwood? Did he accept working at C&R? How is he? Is he eating? Did he take a vacation away from Saeyoung? I need to know.

Jihyun’s speech to his wife is sweet. Now kiss!

Omg I can’t believe I didn’t get to smooch him at all. What.

What.

100 HOURGLASSES TO RESET?!?! HIGHWAY ROBBERY! I need to save up all over again for when (if) they drop a Saeran After End

“JUDGE” Ending

No, going back to the place you hate most isn’t a sufficient form of punishment for the crimes you’ve committed. You can’t just punish yourself & call it justice. Thank u, next.

Why the fuck is Rika called Serena now?! How many names does she have?! 

Is Rika really free & just doing her own apology tour?! No trial or hospital involved? I’m????

Yoosung’s dialogue makes it seem like he still wants Rika around. Flip flop. 

I do enjoy that Yoosung is a very emotional character, even if sometimes in the stories I don’t agree with him. He’s always very open & honest with how he feels, even if taken to extremes.

Jaehee’s discussion with Rika was very rational. As expected.

Damn Zen gave her the boot double quick.

Jumin: “You are a minus given a breathing body.” Ohhhhhhh my god. 😮😮😮 & he told her he wants her sent to a lab to have data collected from her. Jumin is ANGRY.

So this discussion with Saeran is meant to be in her own head, yeah?

Ok her discussion with Saeyoung felt real -ish again but then her discussion with Jihyun sounded bizarre & far-fetched again. So has she just been inside her own head this entire time?

What the fuck... is going on.

Wow, let’s toss in some sexual assault via clergymen to spice things up. Alright. /s What the hell is this?

This ending is fucking bonkers

Omg Zen’s robotic reply made me lose my shit. First time I’ve laughed because of this ending.

Poor Vanderwood. He sounded excited to have a line.

Sooo... the ending has just been a mock of how a Rika route would have gone if she had one?

Wait this was all just MC’s dream?! Rika’s dream?

& now Rika is in a coma?!? What? What???!! I’m... tired.

You know what, at least Saeyoung & Saeran are back together. Silver lining. The only silver lining to this madness.

Yoosung got a whole new look again. I’ll admit, for a hot second I thought he had become a cult leader & I was worried.

Sooo... the RFA became some sort of support group for Rika’s victims?????

Jumin doesn’t want to be a part of the meetings because he doesn’t particularly subscribe to their efficiency. Zen just doesn’t want to be involved because he doesn’t want the reminder. Jihyun basically just didn’t show up. So is this to mean the RFA has fallen apart entirely? Rename the group, change your ideals, be more open with each other, & formulate new ways to create charity events/fundraisers. Find a new purpose together! PULL. YOURSELVES. TOGETHER.

Ugh. Ugggghhhhhhh.

So, I’ve sat on this for a little under 24 hours. I let it sink in, in hopes that I could make better sense of it. But honestly, I don’t feel like I have. I feel perhaps this after end should have been listed in a separate section like the secret endings. These episodes certainly read more like a secret ending.

Rather than call this “V’s After End” I think it would make more sense to have called this “V’s Route After End” (or even “Rika’s After End”). This ending felt more like a means of giving closure to the route itself, rather than an acknowledgement of Jihyun’s relationship with MC. We were shown Saeran was alive, we were given Saeyoung & Saeran reunited with one another finally, we got answers as to what happened with Rika & how she ended up in Alaska, we found out why Jihyun was really away for two years, we had Saeyoung & Saeran stepping out from the hunting shadow of their father. Questions were answered, resolutions of sorts were given.

When I think of “after end” I’ll admit, I assumed we would be given a short snippet of story revolving primarily around Jihyun & MC post-good end, like we had for the other characters; not this dramatic saga between the end of the route & before Jihyun returns two years later. 

Jihyun’s route revolved around him understanding his relationship with Rika & then distancing himself from that & trying to find himself. His route felt like it had more Jihyun x Rika content than it did Jihyun x MC content. This After End there was hardly any Jihyun x MC content as he was gone essentially the entire time. He really Noped Out of his own After End; I’m still a bit shocked I paid so many hourglasses for V content.... only to not be given V content. I admit, I feel foolish & cheated, somehow. I went in hoping for more content about a character I was interested in, only to be given this dramatic story revolving around a character I don’t particularly care for.

I’m disappointed that there is a Forgive or Judge aspect to this ending. 

In the Forgive path/end, the blame of Rika’s crimes & actions is pinned on Rika’s mental illness, choice individuals swaying her into taking particular actions ( “embrace your devil” ), and various circumstances she’s had to endure & live through. By introducing this new character (Mika?), are we meant to blame her instead of Rika? Is she a scapegoat since the idea was originally hers & not Rika’s, even though Rika was the one that enacted everything? On top of this, Yoosung is shown to be reading a psychology book & also comes to the conclusion that what Rika has done isn’t really her fault, but the fault of her circumstances. All of this feels like we were being ushered into forgiving Rika and feeling guilty if we don’t. Provided you do choose to forgive Rika, she finds her own inner happiness, becomes “her own sun”, and goes off to live her life in Alaska; no consequences aside from distance (physical & emotionally) from her once friends/family & developing a negative public appeal. This forgive path directly ties in with Jihyun’s good end, implying it’s the better (intended?) ending. That doesn’t sit well with me. MC shouldn’t have to forgive their captor & tormentor in order to achieve their own “good” end. 

In the Judge path/end, the other characters often show hesitancy when MC expresses she will never be able to forgive Rika. There are philosophical chats about what is actually good vs bad, what is just, & who is to decide these sort of standards. We are led to question if holding on to a grudge hurts ourselves or the other party more. And in the end, when we choose to judge Rika, the RFA falls apart; everyone is miserable. Again, the reader is left feeling as if their judgement was too harsh, too cruel, or uncalled for as the consequences of it have seeped out & negatively touched other people. Rika falls into a coma – doesn’t go off to live her life in Alaska, doesn’t find her own inner peace – & this is all because she was blamed or shunned for her actions, as opposed to being forgiven. Why does everyone’s happiness depend on MC forgiving her captor?  It all left a sour taste in my mouth.

I understand the discussion of what is truly good vs bad or what is meant to be just & unjust can go fairly deep, but I feel that discussion applies only to circumstances that are in a grey area. What Rika did (attempted murder, abuse, emotional & physical manipulation, drugging/brainwashing) is clear cut wrong. There is no question that these are bad decisions. It should not be up for debate whether these sorts of actions are “good or bad.” While I do not deny that Rika’s past (whatever it fully may be as I have not read her backstory DLC) has attributed to her behaviors, it does not excuse them. I believe that mental illness does not excuse someone’s actions.

These are two very extreme endings - either Rika gets off free from her actions or she becomes comatose & succumbs to a darkness. Why have these drastic differences when you can merge the two; have Rika go through treatment to help her, serve a punishment that is fitting of her crimes, help her grow & understand, then have forgiveness come later? There were several options within gameplay along the lines of “I hope one day I can forgive her” & “I hope she finds her peace.” I see nothing wrong with not having MC forgive Rika but still wish for progress to be made.

Everyone was happier in the end where you forgave Rika, though. And isn’t that what everyone wanted in the end?

Overall, I didn’t mind Yoosung & Zen portraying the voices that provide the philosophical discussions in the routes and this After End. In fact, I enjoyed the chats with them as I tend to find philosophical discussions thought provoking, even if I do not always agree with what these characters were expressing. While MM is marketed as a visual novel romance, it has never shied away from delving into deeper topics & oftentimes tries to provide a lesson. Perhaps this time, the lesson they hoped to get across, didn’t hit the mark with me.

Yoosung’s emotions were very extreme in this After End. I have come to expect Yoosung being very up front, unapologetic, & pushy with his feelings. In a game where so many characters are often keeping secrets, it’s almost refreshing to have a character that is so viscerally open. Personally, I found it interesting that Yoosung’s feeling towards Rika had flipped so drastically. It was almost as if he was now trying to overcompensate for his previous idolization of her. 

I’m still of the opinion that the world does not deserve Jumin Han. Through his own pain & suffering, through dealing with the disappearance of his dearest friend, through having to come to terms with the fact that a woman he once considered a close friend turned out to be someone so villainous, he has stepped up & even at one point risked his own company, reputation, & livelihood to protect someone he now considered family. He used his time & resources to help as much as he could. He sat & genuinely listened to Saeyoung & calmly gave input despite Saeyoung verbally lashing out at him. I’ll admit I hated that Jumin seemingly became an alcoholic, or at least heavily dependent on wine, during the stretch of time these After Ends covered. He was suffering, but because he needed to keep his shit together, he used liquor as his means of turning off his brain so he wouldn’t think too heavily about what was happening, otherwise he’d spiral. You can bet your ass that every time there was an option to choose “How is Jumin doing?” I took it, because this man needs someone to look out for him while he’s busy looking after everyone else. I love him. He remains my favorite. 

I am thrilled Saeran is alive. I am ecstatic Saeyoung & Saeran got the reunion I had been hoping for (& in both endings!). The doctor part of me really wishes his treatment & recovery occurred in a hospital, instead of some nature tour with Jihyun while wearing Jedi robes, but beggars can’t be choosers in fiction, I suppose. I am glad Saeran is safe, recovering, had the time to heal his relationship with Jihyun, & is living with Saeyoung now. It’s what I wanted for him.

On one hand, I can see why Jihyun kept Saeran being alive a secret (Saeran wasn’t ready to see Saeyoung yet, he was detoxing, he needed more recovery time, he needed the peace away from everything, if Saeyoung knew he would have gone after them immediately rather than wait for some time to pass) but on the other hand, I had had enough of the secrets. I am glad though that the story allowed for Saeyoung to have some hope that Saeran was alive. If the narrative had left no suggestion of hope & Saeyoung had fallen into a depression of sorts, then I feel when Saeran was finally revealed he [Saeyoung] may have not handled it as well. But Saeyoung was given a chance to hope, to grow, to finally relax/settle where he was, & was allowed time himself to recover from everything that happened, which I think helped in how he received Saeran’s reappearance.

Definitive proof that Vanderwood has grown to care about Saeyoung as a person?! Sign me the fuck up. That was amazing. I greatly enjoy Vanderwood.

With Saeyoung, I did enjoy seeing his range of emotion & reactions to this entire ordeal. He was desvasted, broken, distraught, angry. My heart went out to him & I felt his pain. His monologues were great. His reactions felt real. It was a bit jarring to see how readily he was contemplating suicide & how quickly he cast that aside as soon as some other bit of info to cling to came along. I understand, though, that this story took place in a short amount of time & the creators were trying to portray his progression in the time they had. I am tickled that he was offered a 10 year contract with C&R & that he readily accepted. I have enjoyed seeing him begin to accept that he can plant roots somewhere, open up to those around him, & not fear that he’ll one day have to leave.

I was originally miffed that Jihyun went off for two years on his own, seemingly to get over Rika, making MC wait around, before he could commit himself to MC. Knowing now that those two years were actually spent helping to rehabilitate Saeran in seclusion, I am assuaged. A bit.

I am, however, left feeling as though maybe MC isn’t meant to be with Jihyun. I’ve certainly felt as if there is more push to have Jihyun x Rika remain together as Cheritz still doesn’t give, what I would consider, adequate bonding & development between Jihyun x MC (not that 11 days of story in any of the routes could be described as adequate bonding time, lolol). Majority of Jihyun’s scenes (in his route) are about him reminiscing about his past with Rika, rather than discussions that may cultivation a budding relationship with MC. I like Jihyun, but it feels likes it’s been made intentionally hard to romance him. Maybe it was naive of me to hope we would get cute scenes of Jihyun & MC getting to know one another more, or be shown ways Jihyun made it up to MC for being gone for so long, or even a mini date story, or actually seeing the proposal happen, or even a kiss? But I did hope for all of that, so I can’t pretend I’m not sad we didn’t getting to see it. The romance between Jihyun & MC feels brushed aside, like an afterthought, & I was hoping that this After End would finally put it at the forefront of the story told.

While I don’t like how the situation with Rika was handled in either route, & while this After End was not at all what I was expecting (I just wanted to kiss Jihyun, omg), it wasn’t a total loss for me since the twins are reunited & happy, which I think may have been my biggest wish. The voice acting as phenomenal & I can tell how much time & effort Cheritz put into creating this mammoth, complex & thought-provoking story. I’ll be honest & admit that I am upset I spent so many hourglasses for content that seemed packaged as Jihyun content but turned out to be more about Rika, but nothing can be done about that now. 

If I had to pick an ending I preferred, it would definitely be the Forgive End, as there is more happiness for everyone I care about when it concludes. It was nice seeing Jihyun & MC have their little family, even if it was a very brief interaction. Their adoption of a little girl feels like a nod to Rika, of sorts. Perhaps that isn’t what Cheritz intended, & maybe there is no hidden meaning to why they adopted at all, but I am happy to see Jihyun & MC having brought a child into their home to create a family with.

The CGs are beautiful. Is there even a way to unlock the title page Jihyun proposal CG? I didn’t get it in my play-through at all. 

I didn’t hate this After End, but I definitely didn’t love it either. I guess it kind of falls in a strange floaty grey middle area for me, somewhat flat. Hopefully many of y’all enjoyed it! I look forward to seeing what they may give us for Saeran’s After End. I have a feeling that may be a wild story too.

[scarletrebel]

oh god okay alright

so this is an au ive been thinking about for A While Now, cause im a dramatic fuck who cant finish anything and is living in wip city right now. 

rook (@mrpinstripesuit‘s boy because of course) somewhat reluctantly and through ~plot~ that i do have in mind actually turning into the next dredgen yor because in a small twist of events killing just one guardian in crucible wasnt enough for him.

cue avia being sent to hunt him down and getting marked down as scared and horny when she meets him for the first time

i do have a whole story planned for this and ive been thinking about this au a lot, i bashed this out in about three hours so there might be little errors here and there and critically i think it moves way too fast but hey i havent uploaded in so long so shrug emoji i hope its at least readable aha

When Ikora calls her to the Vanguard chambers, Avia is expecting Cayde’s presence too. Her Hunter Vanguard will do all he can to remind her of her class, even butting into mission briefings with Ikora.

So it comes as a shock to see him not present at the table when she walks in. Ikora turns to greet her, and Avia casts a glance over her shoulder at Zavala.

“Don’t tell me you finally let Cayde out of the Tower?”

Zavala throws her a grim look, mouth set into a line and Avia meets it with a morbid confusion.

“What’s his problem?” She asks Ikora, whose face is set in an equally grim measure.

“Cayde left for a brief scouting mission, it was only supposed to take him a few hours,” Ikora reaches down to her holopad, and from its screen rises a map of an area of Earth Avia has never heard before. “This is the European Dead Zone. It’s highly off limits to Guardians due to the fluxuating levels of both Darkness and Light.”

“Why’s that?”

“A shard of the Traveler exists in that region, cast off from the Collapse.”

Avia watches the images cycle in front of her. A giant cascading shard towers over a forest, buildings rusted and decaying sit in its shadow. Lightning bounces off of the shard, storm clouds gathering around it.

“Looks suitably ominous,” Avia mutters, quickly realising that now is not the time.

Ikora simmers. Avia’s come to notice this in the Warlock Vanguard, when something is wrong and pressing up against her mind but she must remain calm and composed in the face of it all. Avia recognises it well, a quiet storm betrayed by only the smallest of movements.

Ikora places a hand down on the table, her fingers trembling.

“Cayde left two days ago. He hasn’t returned.”

Avia allows her mind to wander as Ikora’s words hit her. Cayde, bold and brass finding his way through this forest as easy as walking through the Tower. Enemies of the Light crowding him, surrounding him, and whilst he doesn’t go down without a fight it’s that one mistake that could cost him.

“You want me to find him.”

Ikora thins her lips into a line, looking from the holo pad and down to Zavala. Avia misses the minute way they communicate to each other, and when Ikora turns to her she can tell the Warlock is somehow sadder.

“Bring him home, however that may be.”

She has to receive the highest clearance from Zavala, Ikora, and the Speaker in order to fly into the Dead Zone. She was advised by Zavala to touch down on the outside of the forest and make her way in. His monotone suggestion didn’t exactly inspire confidence, and it left her riddled with annoyance that she couldn’t shake.

“Levi?” She calls for her Ghost, and they materialise with a whirl.

“Are you afraid?” They ask, and Avia scoffs.

“No. I just… Feel like I’m not getting the full picture.”

“How do you mean?” They ask as Avia looks down the scope of her sniper rifle. She spots the forest a breath away, the trees thick and coarse. No hostiles as she scans the horizon, and answers her Ghost.

“There’s something Ikora wasn’t telling me.”

“You always think that,” Levi floats in front of her scope, making her lower it with a sigh. “She has no reason to lie to you.”

“Lying by omission is still lying.” Avia says.

“You’re not in the Reef anymore.” Levi’s voice is soft, a comfort.

“I’m not sure sometimes.”

She starts to walk, making her way down a cliff face and landing as quietly as she can on the ground. She walks towards a gathering of buildings, the same rusted ones Ikora showed her. The air is still and quiet. As she climbs the structure, the echo of her movements starts to set her on edge.

“What was Cayde scouting?” She wonders out loud. Levi hesitates next to her. Then he whirls his shell once, twice, and answers.

“I think… ‘Scouting’ might have been a loose term for whatever he was actually looking for out here.”

Avia smiles under her helmet. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

“With the language in his recent reports, if you could even call them that, I think he was looking for something.”

“Like what?” Avia asks, moving through an empty room and shimmying through a grated wall. She jumps down and out of the building on the other side, trees at her left and right. She pushes in.

“Something he lost, I think.”

Avia hums, sticking close to the trees, trying to watch and be careful of the way her feet brush against the dead leaves and twigs on the ground. It’s not an environment she’s used to for stealth, but the same rules apply – stay close to the ground and keep your eyes open.

“Let me know when you detect anything.” She tells Levi.

“Aside from the insurmountable Darkness surrounding us alongside a general feeling of dread?” Levi asks, to which Avia laughs. “Can do.”

He was dangerously close to growing bored.

He sits with his back to the wall, flicking a knife up and down. In the cave system, dingy orange lights bounced off the walls. The Dredgen’s chattered around him, keeping to themselves mostly. He still didn’t understand what they wanted from him, what they expected from an exiled Guardian.

He’d told them as much, but still, they followed.

Some of their Ghost’s pitter around their heads, cowardly, having conversations they don’t want him to hear. He catches a glowing orb with his eyes more than once and it dissipates, causing the Hunter with his legs crossed to cast a glance over his shoulder. The Human stills the hand in her book, the scattered pieces of the scout rifle she’s trying to infuse into darkness around his feet.

“What?” He spits. The Guardian doesn’t cower, just tries to hide her smile as she begins to draw something in the soil between them.

“My Ghost thinks you’re dangerous.”

“Your Ghost is right,” he replies. He watches the gloved hand trace a pattern, and it takes him longer than he’d like to admit to recognise it as something Hive.

The Guardian places the main skeleton of her gun over the rune, speaking as she draws an intricate circle around it. “I think she doesn’t get it. I think the Light makes us blind, but I don’t think it’s our enemy either.”

“Aint that poetic.”

“You don’t want to lead us,” the Guardian starts. He stills his motions with the knife, catching it blade side, the metal biting into his skin. “But you could be the start.”

“The start of what, kid?”

The Guardian mutters something under her breath, and they both watch the runes on the floor glow a sickly green, a plume of smoke rising to intwine itself in the metal above it. The others around them stop to stare. When the spell finishes, the exo skeleton breathes with that same sickly energy, something black like ichor peeling off of it.

“I guess that’s up to you.”

A Warlock peels around the corner, harried, breathing hard.

“He’s gone.”

“What?” He asks, a quiet intensity in the way he tenses but doesn’t move.

The Warlock stutters, tries to find his voice. “He overpowered us. His Ghost did something, got herself out of her cage and then freed him. He subdued everyone so he could--”

He flings the knife between the Warlocks feet, a centimetre away from his foot. He stands and takes the hand canon off his hip, once laced in gold and now dark and peeling at the edges. With his fury it starts to feel warm in his hands, putting the scout rifle on the floor to shame. The young Guardian looks at it in awe, seeing the same runes she carved transcribed on the sides.

“Tell me which way he went and then get the hell out of here. Everyone.”

The Hunter pipes up from the floor as he walks towards the mouth of the cave system; “And then what? How will we find you?”

“I guess that’s up to you.”

“I don’t like this.”

“You’ve said that five times already, Levi.” Avia says, though her voice betrays her own unease.

They’ve been walking for what feels like hours. As they traversed deeper, the forest became darker, blocking out all sunlight. Levi told her a ways back that the influence of the shard was heaviest here, but what Avia didn’t mention was the solar flames beneath her skin, an ache to act. Something was coming, her gut felt out of sorts.

“Any sign of him?” Avia asks. Levi extends his shell and scans as far as he can.

“No, I – wait!” Avia perks up as her Ghost scans once more, pulling their shell back to themselves with an excited whir. “Cayde’s Ghost, she’s near!”

“Lead the way,” Avia says, following her marker and picking up the pace.

She breaks into a run as she gets closer, nearing a large tree trunk on its side.

“Wait!” Levi yells into her comm. She slides to take cover by the tree, her mouth opening to ask what’s wrong.

She hears two shots, the way they ring through the air all too familiar. Cayde yells, goes down, and the person wielding Thorn catches up to him.

She pops her head up and over the tree, looking into a circular clearing. Her Vanguard lies on his side, his Ghost fussing over him tirelessly. She watches another man move closer, black armour from head to toe, and she sees that his gun isn’t the hand canon she wields. No, it’s similar in nature, but corrupted in a completely different way.

“Is that a Guardian?” She whispers, as the man in question walks lazily over to where Cayde rights himself onto his back. Her Vanguard is hurt, his Exo plating damaged beyond recognition.

“No,” Levi answers. “At least, I don’t think so.”

“Aint this a little too – ahh, god – easy for you?” Cayde asks, pulling his Ghost to his chest. She gets the message and dissipates as the man stands over him.

“You made it hard enough when you ran the first time,” he says, pulling his helmet off. Ebony hair falls out around his shoulders, dark brown eyes boring holes into the Exo below him. Avia holds a breath. He’s human. But there’s something about him that isn’t. “I’m starting to think you just enjoy this.”

“I’m not the sicko running around like the next Dredgen Yor,” Cayde spits back. There’s a venom that Avia can’t place.

“Then why did you even try to find me?” The man asks, kneeling down, regarding Cayde like he’s playing with his food. “Trying to save my sorry soul?”

“Well, that’s real dramatic Rook, maybe those Dredgens have finally – ahh!”

The man, whose name is apparently Rook, fires a round into Cayde’s chest.

“He’s running on auxiliary power already Avia, we have to get in there.” Levi’s voice is small and strained.

“Wait,” she finds herself saying.

Cayde coughs and splutters, the machines where his lungs would be whirring in protest. “I’m sorry, Rook. But I know you -- you don’t -- you don’t want to be this.”

Rook stands, aiming his gun down and Avia sees the sightline – right between Cayde’s eyes.

“It’s too late to give me that choice.”

Avia hops over the tree and summons her Golden Gun, using the first blast to knock the gun from Rook’s hand. The Darkness around it absorbs the blast but knocks it off centre, and his eyes find her immediately. She aims the second for his chest, which causes him to stutter back, and she takes the opening to run forward and place herself over Cayde.

The man in black rights himself and they aim their guns at each other, Avia still engulfed in solar flame as something darker roils off of Rook’s body. When her Light runs its course, the solar light makes way for the Thorn in her hands to make itself known.

Rook looks her in the eyes, down to the gun in her hands, and then laughs.

“Oh you are a bunch of hypocrites, aren’t you Cayde?”

“Get out of here,” Avia warns. Levi scans Cayde’s body, coaxing his own Ghost forward so they can make enough repairs to keep Cayde stable for now. “Last chance.”

“Oh, sweetheart, you have no idea what this is, do you?” A wicked smile curls up Rook’s face as he lowers his own gun, taking a few steps forward.

“Shut up.” Avia spits back.

“Nah, I’d rather tell you all about how you’ve got a Guardian killer in your hands there. One that your Vanguard keep around for god knows what reason.” He inches closer, and Avia steps forward to meet him. His hands come up in mock surrender, and she ignores how her stomach curls at his easy smile. It’s infuriating, to some degree.

“The only Guardian killer I see is you,” she starts. “Go. Now.”

“Or else what?” He asks. He moves forward once again, and Avia misses the time in between him feeling like he was a mile away and being pressed up against the Thorn. She can practically feel his heartbeat through the gun.

Thank the Traveler she’s wearing her helmet.

“Avia,” Cayde rasps below her. He sounds better, and she hears the soft dissipation of a Ghost that must be his. “Don’t do anything stupid.”

“That is rich coming from you.” She mutters, and the man in front of her has the audacity to laugh as if they’ve known each other for years.

“Avia,” he says, his eyes raking down her body. “Pretty name.”

“I am seconds away from putting you down for good.” She bites back. He smiles at her reaction and it sends a wave of embarrassment through her.

“But you won’t. Killing Guardians is bad, remember?”

“You’re not a Guardian.”

Rook’s face falls, impassive and unreadable as the darkness rolls off him, still steady.

In a flash he grabs Avia’s wrist, and places the Thorn underneath his chin, his other hand on her waist as he looks at her and says; “I’m the same kinda Guardian that you are, sweetheart.”

She’s caught off guard, a steady and aggravating heat pooling in her chest. She doesn’t realise when his finger curls around hers on the trigger, squeezing it.

She pulls back as quick as she can, the bullet sounding off between them. She makes to reach for a knife, throw it at his chest and make some space but then she’s back on her ship, Cayde still on the floor below her.

Levi whirls in front of her; “Are you alright?”

“I…” She starts, shaking herself and taking her helmet off. Cayde groans behind her, and she turns and kneels at his side.

“Nice one, hot shot.” He splutters. Avia rolls her eyes, hooking an arm around his back and moving him into the co-pilot chair.

“Who was he?” She asks once he’s sat down, still clutching his chest as though some parts will fall out of him.

“That’s a long story.”

Avia set’s a course for the Tower, plotting the longest route she can find without raising suspicion.

“You’ve got time.”

[alexthefuckinwizard]

things i’ve heard at high school (freshman year)

teacher: screw you guys, i’m going to go raise yaks in my apartment

so like how many ping pong balls could fit up my ass

(during kickball) do you think the ball feels pain

teacher: (begins charleston dancing) i’m not even high yet

i’m not a slut i’m a mistake

corpses still have feelings, mike.

i’ll be the sexy cowboy wiping down tables

student 1: i needed caffeine so i went to starbucks and asked for their most caffeinated thing and they said i’d probably die and i told them i already was. anyway they laughed and gave me a nitro cold brew.

student 2: you’re shaking.

s1: i poured a five hour energy into it.

so i haven’t slept in two days and this morning i tried to pull my pants over my head

*russian accent* i smash head like pumpkin

here’s a thermos full of my tears

(lying on the floor making vroom noises) i’m a truck

teacher to student after school: your mom called she’s not coming she doesn’t love you

(during chem lab) can i light myself on fire or is that a no

(enters math class late) what’s up fuckers i chugged an entire bottle of cough syrup with redbull i’m gonna die

i’m bi, high, and ready to die

don’t you wanna fuck the hand emoji from the movie

i was a spooked horse in a previous life

beepity bop here to steal your bitch

i need to jump into a trash can

*aggressively nrrs*

i have made three more bee movie haikus

that’s not a man bun that’s disappointment in a hair tie

my grandma cooks chipmunks in boiling water

fonts are e v e r y t h i n g

it would be nice if you shaved your head bald

mmm juice

it’s not a cookie at that point. it’s hell.

just dance around the flaming embers of death.

*russian accent* that was terrible

student 1: *slams drink down* that’s treason

student 2: it’s called budgeting alex

ben stop choking the dragon

*english accent* you can’t just fuckin yeet it

student 1: i can’t kill you, it’s starting to annoy me.

student 2: i’m like a cockroach

approximately 1,500 cubic feet of foam

your shoulder makes a good pillow. it would look great on my wall.

the blood is talking. are you ready for what it will say?

and remember kids, if you see a stranger… assume they’re going to kill you and kill them first.

shut up and eat your plastic, jeremy

i smell smoke! oh, it must be the dumpster fire of my life.

hey guys welcome back to my prank channel *puts a normal pencil into an apple pencil box*

can you guys stop calling me daddy

remember kids, always talk to strangers! make sure to ask deep personal questions to wheedle out all their greatest secrets and then blackmail them for money!

student 1: what if the hulk hulked out during sex

student 2: WE ARE NOT HAVING THIS CONVERSATION AGAIN

did you say pedophilia in your limbs

netflix and chill? hah. more like netflix and kill.

student 1: if i die i don’t want anyone to come to my funeral

student 2: we’ll throw you a pool party

death knows no limits

someone said i reminded them of spider-man and honestly that’s the best compliment i will ever receive

student 1: *sitting on the floor* if you die what kind of cake do you want at your funeral

student 2: *rock climbing* CHOCOLATE

student 3: *lying on the floor* we will stuff it into your cold, dead mouth

s3: i want red velvet with jello at mine, made from either the blood of my enemies or my own

i will splash you with piss

student: you’re a little bitch

teacher: watch your fucking profanity

sometimes your fingernails just fall off.

teacher: i will murder the pizza roll boys

that says four but i said five because i can’t read

i’ve had like seven people ask me if this is a doobie and no this is a blending stick get your mind off the weed farm children

teacher: please don’t call me daddy

if you touch that i will murder a duck

i’m going to eat a family of toes

is that a drive-thru bedmart

i have the personality of a stale cheeto

student 1: anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough

student 2: why are you like this

do you dare me to steal breakfast cereal

why check out hot girls when you can check out library books

i may be depressed but at least i’m energetic

student 1: is that a guitar

student 2: this is a ukulele