#[kill bill sirens] gotta go

[sanctummilitis]

She was growing weary of this routine.

Headed towards the Canyon wherein those most in need waited deep within, the knight drew to a halt upon registration of her Class being bellowed — any other would have their True Name spoken, eliminating any excuse that the call had been presumed for another. Without further advance, the Servant faced Chaldea's Master, clearly agitated by something, although if it were by a recent development, it was one Saber herself had no knowledge of (a luxury these days, she was coming to learn).

"What is it, Ritsuka?" was the query, monotone in deliverance. for even if stoicism had been an attack point of the mage's before, as Lostbelt jungle swallowed hope and she'd been led by desperation, Saber was hesitant more than ever to express. It was better to be branded unfeeling and inhuman — that was King Arthur as her people always saw her.

it was easy enough to find her. despite the lack of it feeling like there was a connection between them for over a year now, one still existed. and all Ritsuka had to do was follow that tether to the source, something that was easy for her now despite her less than stellar aptitude as a mage. despite the rather overly-cheery nature in the city, with pink decking out every store front, Ritsuka felt nothing of the sort. let the holiday be damned for all she cared, because on waking up this morning, she had decided: enough was enough.

gentleness didn't work. openess didn't work. asking didn't work. there was really only one option left and she had no intentions of backing down. no, if anything, her resolve steeled upon seeing a familiar form donned in armor and she can't help but think how this reminded her of going into battle.

" Saber!" her voice echoes and carries and she knows, she knows that the Servant could hear her loud and clear. " It's time to stop it already!"

@sanctummilitis -- cupid shuffle

[syndrossi]

I don't know if Helaena is a dreamer in Resonant, but if she it I can so clearly see her having an interaction with Rhaegar and Jon while the cousins are all playing, and she calmly says, "Silver Prince, a river of rubies. Dragon on a Wall shadowed in black."

The boys are both terrified and speechless. Worst of all, while Rhaegar can guess that "Silver Prince" is referring to him, he doesn't understand what "a river of rubies" means.

Jon, though, Jon DOES know, he knows exactly what it means, and it terrifies him. He knows that there was no possible way to save him from that fate in his timeline. He KNOWS that. He wasn't even born yet, and he still feels guilt. But he will be damned if he lets the same fate happen to his brother.

Also, Viserys is somewhere in the background while this exchange happens, and he's hearing the Kill Bill sirens go off immediately. Gotta whip out the Song of Ice and Fire/PTWP notebook he made specifically for Daemon's sons, and try to decipher what that means later.

Sorry this is so long, I got carried away.

I think Rhaegar guesses based on Jon's horrified reaction that the "Silver Prince" is him, since at least half of the current princes have silver hair (including Daemon)! But yes, river of rubies is meaningless to him and literal nightmare fuel for Jon.

(I feel like at some point Jon's going to recruit Daemon in his quest to never allow Rhaegar near the Trident ever. Either claim some sort of vision that the candle showed him, or a recurring nightmare, etc.)

Lol-ing at Viserys's scrapbook of PTWP-related shenanigans. A project to split his time with lego Valyria!

[juneknight]

Good Day

kink: hybristophilia

jake lockley/f!reader

About this: this one is a little special, as most sex takes place off screen. This version of Jake and his reader are due two sequels. ;)

*

Jake wakes you up with a kiss on the neck and the prettiest six words a girl could ever hope to hear: 

Nice day to rob a bank. 

It’s 1960 and summer in the Midwest, which means hot as hell. Jake’s car doesn’t have any AC, but neither of you mind. Sweat slicks on your arms and the metal door of the Fury scalds you whenever you try to rest your arm on the windowsill, but who fucking cares? Because it’s a great day to rob a bank!

Both of you had been watching the bag of bills in the trunk dwindle and dwindle as you crawled across the midwest. Every time you stopped at a gas station or a motel or a cheap little shop to buy supplies, you’d give him a glance, once that said: ‘is it time, J?’ But Jake’s face could be cooler than a glass of icy water, giving nothing away. You hadn’t known this was coming until an hour ago when he kissed you, rolled you over, and nailed you into the mattress. 

Jake knows you like surprises. 

“I don’t want no distractions this time,” he says around his cigarette. His hands are restless on the wheel, but you know it’s not nerves. If Jake’s robbed one bank, he’s robbed a thousand. No, this is adrenalin. It’s excitement. Jake’s got that cool face, but deep down you know how much this gets his blood running—just as much as it gets yours. 

“I didn’t mean to distract you,” you say primly, thinking about the last gig you both had pulled. It’s a bold faced lie. You had gotten down on your knees in the vault, put your hands behind your head and whipped up some fake tears as you begged him, Please don’t kill me, mister, I have a husband I need to go home to! Jake had just been spilling down your throat when you both heard the sirens wailing. It was a good thing Jake had outran the pigs before, or else you both might be sitting in separate jail cells. 

“Like hell you didn’t,” says Jake with a scowl. His hand reaches for your thigh, gripping it firmly. You let him up your skirt, and he sighs smoke when he finds out you aren’t wearing any panties. He mutters: “You’re gonna get us killed.”

“Doesn’t seem like a nice day to die,” you giggle. 

“No day is a good day to die, baby,” he says. “Every man’s gotta suck it up and bite the bullet eventually.”

But you were right—today wasn’t that day. By the time you both are burning rubber to get away, you have twelve thousand dollars in the trunk. You’d left all the pretty little bank tellers (and the bank president) trussed up like pigs in the vault. The cops could let them out. You and Jake had somewhere else to be! 

He pulls off abruptly into a road that goes from paved to gravel and gravel to dirt, puts you on the burning hood of the Plymouth, flips up your skirt and eats your pussy until you’re crying. It’s a great day for eating pussy—always is.

[spaceumbredoggos]

So if Bill easily destroyed his home dimension, what’s stopping him from destroying the theraprism and escaping? It seems like a kinda poorly run facility. You know how persistent he is.

Am I leaking a plot point for Aces And Oh’s, my gravity falls may or may not be x hellverse crossover? Yeah. Now we know where Bill’s henchmaniacs are and that they want nothing to do with him. So there goes a plot point I was gonna use.

Who wants plot point leaks? More specifically, who wants leaks in the form of skits on my TikTok? Who wants leaks leaks and more leaks? What am I planning? Will I kill Kenz smack dab in the middle of the fic and have them as an extremely vengeful and angry spirit? Will I kill one of the other triplets to send Kenz over the edge? Will I leave them all alive but kill Stan in some over the top dramatic way and have Kenz framed for the murder? So many options.

Is anyone safe from the horrors of plot convienience? Will I decide to make Dipper and Mabel actually older than the Rogers trio? @fishy--friend there’s so many options.

Will make live action skits on my TikTok or finally get my shit together and learn how to animate? Art class is kinda hard. And I don’t know if my particular art class is right for me.

Currently trying to think of non romantic plot points for Kenz to go through. More specifically the sibling bonding slow burn and the parental bond between Kenz and Ford, but it’s a will they won’t they situation. Gonna make some live action skit tiktoks in my 86 degree jacuzzi when I get home and let the dog play with the hose. First I have to create the Kenz scar filter. Or draw it on myself with my markers…

Might even make some skits in pokemon legends Arceus if the trio in their PMD adult forms. Just gotta shiny hunt for riolu, Eevee, and Hisuian zoroark. So many plans. So many options.

ADHD distraction time!! I can’t wait for the Wild Robot to come out. I’m dragging my Gran’s ass straight to studio movie grill the week it comes out.

@confused-canid @children-of-moss @mother-ofthe-universe @sarosthewizarddude @cryptic-platypus @lovelycrimsonredsnow (ive run out of moots to tag.) I’m back to posting rapid frequently every day. I was seduced by the siren song of unfiltered character chat bots. But I broke free (see the really long post I made last night. Or don’t. It’s kinda controversial.)

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The Lost Cause prologue (part 2)

On October 7–8, I'm in Milan to keynote Wired Nextfest.

My next novel is The Lost Cause, out on November 14; it's a hopeful tale of the fights we'll face after we address the polycrisis. Bill McKibben called it "The first great YIMBY novel":

https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250865939/the-lost-cause

As with my other books, I've had to produce my own audiobook for this one. Amazon won't carry any of my audio, so I make my own and pre-sell them through Kickstarter, along with ebooks and hardcovers (including signed, personalized hardcovers). The Kickstarter's going really well, and there's still time to back it:

http://lost-cause.org

Yesterday, I kicked off a serialization of the book's prologue, which jumps straight into the action:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/06/green-new-deal-fic/#the-first-generation-in-a-century-not-to-fear-the-future

And now, here's part two:

He was so surprised he fumbled the sledge, then squinted at me. I held the flash under my chin, squinting. “It’s me. Brooks. Palazzo. Richard’s grandson.”

That was when the siren blatted down on Verdugo, blatt blatt, two toots, and a crackle of PA. “On the roof, this is Burbank PD.” He did drop the sledge then, said, “Fuck,” and produced a water pistol from the suit’s marsupial pouch. He handled it with extreme care, shedding a glove to delicately peel away a big blob of some kind of plastic or wax over the business end. His hand shook.

I knew what it was. Hydrochloric acid. It was the weapon of choice for one-­on-­one white nationalist killings. It worked great, because even if you didn’t kill your victim, you’d leave them with skin melted and fused like cascades of melted rubber, a reminder to everyone who saw them that even if President Uwayni took away everyone’s guns, the American resistance was still armed and fucking dangerous. Gramps and his buddies would sometimes make jokes about Medicare for All, and how it was gonna go broke paying for acid burns when the big one came. I’d always found those jokes incredibly gross, but I learned to tune them out. They were coming back to me now. I took a step back and his hand jerked and I cried out, flinching in anticipation of the stream of acid that didn’t come.

“Dammit, boy, don’t scare me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t want to be hurt. Mr. Kennedy—­Mike—­you know my gramps. He relies on me. He’s getting old and frail. I’m all he has.”

I was crying now. A drop of clear liquid fell from the squirt gun’s business end and sizzled on the roof. I whimpered. “Please. Just put that down, we’ll go get the cops and—­”

“I’m not going anywhere. Listen, kid, turn off your camera, okay? I gotta say some things to you.”

“Mike, please—­” I was crying harder now. His hand was really shaking, and his finger was on the trigger, and the gun was pointed right at my face.

“Just do it, okay?” He pointed the gun at the ground, and I found I could breathe again. I pretended to turn off my screen and triggered the sound file I had of the “Recording paused” announcement.

“All right, kid. Straight talk. I don’t expect to survive this. I knew that was a chance from the start, and it was a sure thing once you got here and sounded the alarm. I made my peace with that possibility a long time ago.” He took some deep breaths that the voice-­ shifter made into the sound of a wind tunnel. He pulled the ghillie suit’s mask down and exposed the rest of his face. His lips and chin were shiny with wet sweat in the reflected flashlight beam bouncing up from the roof.

“God dammit, I’m not gonna kid you, this is a stupid thing to die over, but I was gonna die eventually. But you don’t have to. You can get out of this in one piece. You can carry on the struggle.” His real voice was hoarse with emotion.

Something about his real voice and his real face made me more scared, not less. Gramps’s friends were usually just . . . ​sour. But there was often this undercurrent of violence in them, a bowstring tension that sometimes snapped. Usually that just meant yelling or throwing something or storming out and slamming the door so hard the whole house shook. But every now and then, it turned into punches, and everyone in the room would pull the fighting men apart, and once or twice there had been blood on the floor before they were separated.

I had never been in a fight, not since grade school anyway, and had never thrown a real punch. I found the idea of punching someone literally unimaginable. But I was finding it incredibly easy to vividly imagine this guy punching me.

“Mike, you don’t have to die, we can talk to the cops. This is Burbank PD, not LAPD. They’ll negotiate. They’re not gonna shoot you. Not if you don’t give them a reason to. Why don’t you put down—­”

The roof was flooded with blinding light and the roar of a quadrotor as a BPD drone rose up over us, floodlights set to max. We both staggered back, hair blowing in the rotor wash, and squinted. Mike involuntarily squirted a small stream of acid that arced over the roof, then got his gun under control.

“THIS IS THE BURBANK POLICE DEPARTMENT. PUT DOWN YOUR WEAPONS AND LACE YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD. COMPLY IMMEDIATELY.”

He swore fiercely and pointed his gun at the drone.

“No!” I shouted. “Jesus, Mike, do you want to fucking die?”

He stared at me. His eyes were wild and unhinged. His mouth worked soundlessly, and then he shouted, “What the fuck does it matter to you?”

“Because—­” I almost said, Because I want to fight on your side and we need you. I could have sold the line, even though I didn’t believe it. Even though he was a terrorist kook whose cause was both idiotic and terrible. I could have sold it because I’m a good actor, even by Burbank standards, where the star of the school play might be moonlighting from their job as an A-­lister for one of the studios. But I didn’t say it. I didn’t want to lie to this guy. “Because there’s enough stupid death out there. Because I don’t want to explain to Gramps how I saw his poker buddy blown away by BPD on my high-­school roof. Because it’s a stupid way to die. Because it won’t accomplish a goddamned thing.” I found that I was angry. God, why did people have to be so stupid? Why was I sitting around with this idiotic person having this idiotic argument, waiting for the cops to storm the roof and maybe kill us both?

“Fuck this,” I said. I stalked over to him. The drone dipped toward us, making him flinch, and I was able to grab his stupid water pistol full of acid and wrench it out of his shaking hand and send it skittering over the smashed solar panels. “There,” I said, and turned to the drone. “I’ve disarmed this goddamned idiot. Don’t shoot him. And don’t shoot me—­I’m a bystander.”

The drone’s PA clicked back on. “That was really stupid, kid.”

Mike looked like he wanted to cry or punch me.

“This whole thing is really stupid,” I said. “But it doesn’t have to be violent, too.”

“We’re coming up. Lace your hands behind your head.”

Mike opened his mouth.

“Just do it,” I snapped. “I just saved your fucking life, asshole. Do what the nice policewoman says.”

They burst through the roof door a minute later, and we both laced our hands behind our heads. They cuffed and searched both of us, relieving Mike of a long hunting knife and what I took for hand grenades, but which turned out to be flashbangs.

After patting me down and conferring, they uncuffed me and led me away from Mike, who was looking miserable and scared.

They took a statement from me in the cruiser, tapped my ID to their scanner, conferred a while longer, read messages on their screens that I couldn’t see—­the cops all had polarizing privacy screens on their devices—­and finally let me go.

The cop who opened the back of the cruiser for me was a big, jowly guy, someone who would have looked perfectly at home with Gramps and his pals, rocking a red trucker cap and complaining about “illegals.” But he was tender with me as he helped me up and asked me twice if I needed help getting home. I pointed out that I lived a ten-­minute walk away—­he knew that from my ID, of course—­and that I hadn’t been hurt.

There had been six Burbank PD SUVs on the street when they led me down, but by the time they let me go, there were only two. The other one had Mike in the back, behind reflective windows. Even though I couldn’t see him, I could feel his eyes on me as I turned and started to walk home. It was 3:27 a.m., and I was both completely wired and completely exhausted.

I let myself into Gramps’s place by the back door, made my way back to my bedroom, stripped off, and pulled the covers over me.

Who was I kidding? I wasn’t going to sleep after that. I rolled over and hit my screen. I had a notification that my livestream had been archived and that I could toggle it private if I wanted to, but that it was also going to be subject to FOIA requests because I’d used the 911 option and it had gone straight to Burbank PD.

I reviewed the footage. It was crazy of course—­the dark night slashed with my flashlight beam, the screen’s night-­sight flicking off and on—­but the audio was good and once things stabilized, the image was clear enough. I jumped it up to 3X and listened to Mike Kennedy in chipmunk mode spouting his crazy Maga Club garbage. Even at that speed, I picked up on stuff I’d missed, little bits of inflection and vocab, and most of all, how scared he sounded. He’d been more scared than me. I guess that made sense, because he was so sure that he was going to die. Look at it that way, I had saved his life.

And as soon as I looked at it that way, I knew it was true. I had saved his life. I’d saved a man’s life the night before. A man who had been ready to kill me. Or if he hadn’t been, he’d said he was.

The realization let something loose inside me and I started to yawn. I pasted a link to the video into my feed and dialed the syndication wheel all the way open because why not, it was freaky and everyone shares freaky stuff wide as possible.

I tapped out a message to the Burroughs High attendance office letting them know I was going to be late for school, then I put my screen down, thumped my pillow, and, amazingly, fell asleep.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/07/met-cute-ugly/#part-ii

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

[moonlit-trolls]

Ain't a Pretty Job

[Introduction to Don! Newest guy in the roster]

[Docs for your soul]

— You’re Costing me Business. —

The man behind the counter spoke. Metal left arm, made for fleetwork. Repurposed.

— Costing you business? I’m keeping this shithole afloat ritz. I’m the fuckin’ reason you buy whiskey every week. Cuz I go through the six bottles you buy and I take half of the one you keep for yourself. — 

Donnie’s Voice came out more aggressive than it should. Ritz is nicer than anyone’s been to the man. But Ritz is right. In the middle of the night while everyone’s working donnie is here drinking. When people are spending time with their quadrants, he’s here drinking. Come to think he might be Ritz's closest friend… If only.

— I’m tellin’ you donnie if you don’t fucking stop scaring the customers with that spittin blood at every third drink crap i’ll have to kick you out. — 

Ritz spoke again. slamming his metal fist on the counter, whiskey spilled down to the ground.

— Aw C’mon You love me, if you didn’t you’d have me gone a long time ago —

Donnie spoke, getting up from his seat, and putting a handful of crumpled bills on the counter. Walking out that door

And out that door he did walk. you might think night is time to do things, get busy. but that man has never been freer. Now that he fucking dropped his job, ain’t nothing stopping Donnie.

Two pills, flask to wash down, as the man stared into the end of the road, The lights seemed welcoming, they're just rushing cars ready to drop him. Maybe another bank got robbed, maybe another fuchsia killed but that’s not his problem any longer. hasn’t been for two and half sweeps. Leaving the fucking bacon behind was his best decision and he’d tell that himself.

But. Peace doesn’t go for long not when the fucking pigsty’s after a man. and the sirens sound like they’re coming for him. Faster steps, but they aren’t helping him. He's good but he’s not faster than a car type of good. Now his brain is running. shoot the tire? That'll piss them off. Shoot the driver? they’ll just pull the emergency brakes. and before he even makes a choice. The car stops beside him, running is useless; they'll just shoot him down if he makes a move.

— Heeeeeey fellas — Hands up, breath shaky — Didn’t know you patrolled here by these times —

A teal leaves the vehicle, baton in hand — Don. Don don don… C’mon Donnie you know we can’t play this game forever, You run, we find you. — The voice got lost in murmurs — Won’t you make this easier? one last job. — The teal wore a shit eating grin like it was a pinstripe suit — We can just cull you right here if that’s too much trouble too Don.  —

Four guys. Car, Probably half full tank? He can take them. dying would just be the consolation prize. 

— C’mon guys we don’t gotta fight like this! just let me go and i’ll never be trouble — Donnie’s voice was shaky, dying was consolation prize but he was going for first fucking place. 

— No can do Don. You’re a dead man walking. waltzing around with god knows how many names inside your little brain that could put down the entire precinct. So No we’re not letting you go — the teal nodded as he spoke — one last job that’s all you need —

— Well you said that last time you blue dumbfuck — Donnie says dropping his hands down as the teal pulled a gun out

— C’mon Donnie hands back up, don’t want to shoot out your other kneecap — 

Time felt halted as Don shoulder bashed the teal into the car. gun went off hitting the wall behind him on the sidewalk. as the cop spat blood on the floor.  and fell down. The other three in the car came out. Indigo, Olive and Rust. Guns in hands shouting.

Don hid behind the car door, two shots fired one hit the wall the other grazed his shoulder. 

Donnie bit his tongue. blood pooling in there he showed his face on the window opening and spat at the olive’s face. Two shots, from him, both miss. hitting the ground kicking up dust, at this point the streets have already been emptied out. no one wants to be the one to witness four men killing one. but maybe that’s not what will happen.

As the olive started to wipe the blood clean from his face don jumped him. using him as a shield, Four more shots. two on the olive’s chest, one on his leg. Olive is down for the count, two to go.

— Cities Finest? Cities better off with crime runnin’ wild — Don says kicking the body forward. it fell down with a Horrible sound. as he jumped forward to the rust blood. 

punch in the nose. blood dripping down the fracture, the rust put his hands on his nose to stop it but, no use was it. Don took the gun and two shots was all it took. The indigo was shaken by the situation, sweat dripping down his face, eyes wide like two dinner plates, and the man ran into a building to never be seen again.

The Teal stood up — Good job Don. But your lucky streak ends here you fucking piece of trash — Aiming a gun down at donnie’s face. 

— Pick a god and pray. fish. — and he pulled the trigger to the worst noise possible: click The gun jammed. 

— Now, I'm not gonna start wearing red on the new sweep. Or throwing dice at the casinos. But I am. going to do something better — don smiled taking off his gloves 

— I’m gonna give you a fucking can of Whoopass — Don throws the teal on the ground. breaking his knuckles on that man’s face.

blood drips from his fists, spitting purples and two more police cars waltz in. amazing how bad nights can get worse, all you need now is a fucking morning to burn you into fried fish. 

— Good Job big guy — Don hears the heavy steps followed by a third bump in the ground. The chief — But there’s nowhere to run now. Surrounded. Bleeding, you spent more than you had on your account on these low line fucks and now you’re ripe for the taking. And taking we are —

— C’mon old man. I’m past my prime. Why'd you want an old violet ex copper — his voice filled with more contempt than fear. — And either way i’m more of a liability, why would you want me back? —

And that, made the chief smile ear to ear, sharp yellowed teeth from smoking a pack a day for the last twenty sweeps. 

— Oh You know why don. You’re the only one with the guts to walk into a jade cave. And kill trolls who didn’t do a thing wrong. You did it before. Why wouldn’t you do it again? — his voice sounded like a whisper in the last part. and before he finished speaking. Donnie was already stealing the officer’s clothing to put on, the gun and the badge he never delivered to the pigs. Maybe that’s why they’re tracking him.

And The chief did not lie. Hours later, far too close to morning for donnie to enjoy. popping tylenols for every speed bump the car went over, and every other bump as well, washing down with the flask. until the chief spoke.

— Now don. You’re going in with a team Swat type deal. Go in, kill every single fucking jade in sight. Drop the mother grub. and leave. They’re not culling mutants, and they’re not paying their protection dues to us. Which means. we knock them down and then you can go on your merry fucking way —

Donnie remained silent staring out the window, sun’ll be up in four to five hours. That leaves about three to finish the job and one to find shelter until the night.

— Cuz this Ain’t About To be pretty Donnie. — the chief spoke, his grin reflecting on the rear view mirror, as the vehicle came to a halt. in front of a forested cavern. no one could know it was there unless they were looking for it. 

— That’s where you’re going Donnie. Have fun. Team’s lagging behind — the chief waved as Don walked into the cave. 

[ Six Days Later, News Broadcast]

— And it is with heavy hearts that we announce the official report of the cave near the forest. Six Swat members died, No jades were found in the cave. And neither was a mother grub. The menaces that they  are remain running free. Here we have the Chief  of the Department to give a few words.--- 

The news anchor said. not a glimpse of truth behind her voice but they don’t pay her to speak the truth they just pay her to speak.

— Yes. little ray of moonlight. Yes they are still running wild. If you do not remember. It is the weak link that breaks the chain. And we all know that mutants are the weak link. But helping the weaklings are a gang of jades. and a violet blood — A photo of Donnie appear on screen 

— No one knows his name, Everyone just calls him Don or Donnie. Alert the closest fleet official if you see this man. He is a menace. He has allowed sixteen unidentified jades to run free. alongside at least two dozen grubs. — and the feed’s cut off as don turns the TV off. arm in a splint and two dozen stitches scattered. With a jade taking care of him. 

at least he’s free now. Isn’t he?

[bennidraws]

11, 14, 17 for tav asks!! for whichever character (perhaps both 👀) you wanna do!

hello, love, thank you so much!!! <33

11. What is your Tav’s most used weapon or spell? 

Both my men are archers, tho Rosio prefers stronger longbows (sturdy and equipped with blades, so he can use it as a melee weapon when the situation is really dire... dude is out there hunting monsters, he gotta be extra about it 😭) and aside from this he uses hunting knives!

Rosio really doesn't like magic and the only kind of spells he's using on regular basis are Speak with animals and summoning spells for his dog pack ahaha

Lucis is a shortbow user (contrary to Rosio he likes his weapon very light.. and ornate. Because he likes pretty things 💀). I don't think he would normally bother with another weapon to carry, but in game I really love Phalar Aluve.. it sings!!!!!! So bardcore !!!!!!!

Aside from turning magic into music and sounds, he prefers lightning and thunder magic, because of his family heritage (his father is a really powerful storm sorcerer). And it sounds really dope combined with his lyre!! (go, boy, give us fantasy rock)

14. Does your Tav know any other languages besides Common? 

Rosio was never much for studying, but after leaving his hometown and gaining his own freedom (and not being Forced to learn), he would probably dip his toes into learning Infernal, purely because of his tiefling heritage. He's not crazy obsessed but he knows some basics.

He also most likely understands Elvish, because he was growing up in an elven town. He never bothered speaking it tho.

Living in a pretty strict and prideful elven society Lucis' Elvish is probably more perfect and natural than his Common language 🤔 But he's really smart and flexible, he could definitely learn other languages really well too, just doesn't feel the need for it.

17. Which of the companions does your Tav distrust most?

Answered in a prev ask, but abridged version:

Funnily enough it took him the longest to trust Astarion 💀 Rosio was convinced he was the object of his manipulation basically till the "I love you" moment (and even more funnily enough, Rosio was willingly subjecting himself to that manipulation, being the self sabotaging, masochistic idiot that he is).

If Rosio knew Wyll, he wouldn't buy into his whole good boy hero shtick. He doesn't believe there are this kind-hearted people out there 😔 (But he's absolutely self projecting lol, the whole "how could you turn so kind when people wronged you so... and why I wasn't capable of it")

Lucis trusts Gale, but considering he's his lover, it's a tad more complicated 💀 It means the absolute world for Lucis that Gale would basically move mountains for him, but there's also.. Mystra 💀 That would be the source of his insecurities and a bit of trust issues (which, tbh, is pretty selfish, boy!!!! It's not like you're completely over your ex lmfaooo 😭)

(And if Lucis traveled with Astarion, it wouldn't even be a case of distrust, that would be a wholeass circus-level hatred... They're two peacocks, and in certain ways dangerously similar... Kill bill sirens blasting in the distance... And that's without the current-lover/ex-lover of Rosio dynamic 💀)

[choptopsbarbeque]

"Gimp Cage Contest!!!" winner from www.gopostal.com 1998

This week's (and last week's) winners are:

Fred T. from Minneapolis, MN sent The Gimp a sweet little "poem", inspired while playing Postal:

THE POSTAL DUDE By I. M. Demented

I work for the Postal Service

I was there today

My supervisor pissed me off

So I blew him away

Then I went home and changed

Into my camouflage

Then I killed My Neighbors

In back of their garage

Roaming through the streets

Filling you with fear

I've gotta run a body count

Before the cops get near

I fire bomb the SafeWay

I shoot up the laundermat

I knife a passing cowboy

Just to wear his hat

A few grenades for the playground

A couple for the park

I need to get my starlight scope

It's starting to get dark

I waste a couple winos

A few homeless people too

It's time to stop and reload

Next stop-the city zoo

Flame a few zebras

Burn an elephant or two

Let's creamate the monkey house

Molitov cocktail time at the zoo

The cops are getting closer

I hear the siren's cry

I see my flaming handywork

Dancing against the sky

Next I go into the movies

I'll give them such a thrill

It'll be just what they paid for

Now showing- A VIEW TO A KILL

I dynamite the box office

I mine the balcony

Yell "fire" from the back row

Then cut 'em down when they flee

The cops have got me cornered

By now I know the drill

The Pipper has his hand out

It's time to pay the bill

I take the time to reflect

To think of what I've done

Outside the cops are ready

Lets get going and have some fun

My bullets rush before me

Showing me the way

I calmly walk out to the street

It's time to end this play

As I fire wildly into the night

Bullets hit me from far and near

Targets come and go from my sight

The end is finaly here

I lay here in a pool of my own blood

Pleased with the results of the day

They wonder why I'm smiling at them

It's the voices-they've finally gone away

[bonesandthebees]

do you have an opinion on The Host movie? (asking bc ik you've read the book and I just watched the movie again)

you know those jokes about how if you ask someone with adhd or autism about a subject they're fixated on you gotta be prepared for a wall of text

yeah that's me right now though idk if i'm gonna type a whole wall of text I just have the kill bill sirens going off in my head rn because oh BOY I have opinions on The Host movie.

I'm gonna put it under a read more but just be warned my opinion is not a positive one

okay full disclosure I have not seen the movie in roughly 7 years or so because after I saw it once or twice I refused to watch it ever again

anyway I fucking hated the movie

I think the biggest issue I had with the movie was the way they framed it as being more about Melanie than Wanda. the entire POINT of the book was Wanda's journey into finding herself and her home with humanity. Wanda was the main character of the book and this was essential to the theme of the entire thing. but the movie made it about Melanie. and the thing is, in the book, Melanie is not a good person. and this is okay! she's a flawed human and that's why it's so impactful that Wanda comes to love her so much. because Melanie is impulsive, bratty, jealous, and has next to no self-control. this is not me criticizing her character. I love Melanie as a character. she's so intrinsically human and that's why she makes such a great juxtaposition to Wanda. but the movie didn't seem to get this. it was so focused on Melanie's side and not Wanda when Wanda is the driving force and the most important character in the story.

also I didn't appreciate the unnecessary added drama. like the Seeker was almost comically evil in the movie to a point where she didn't even feel like a soul. I know in the book she was described as being very different from most souls anyway but there were still traits of souls recognizable to her, whereas the Seeker in the movie felt very different. again it's been 7 or so years so I could be misremembering, so sorry if I am, but yeah. that felt weird too.

also iirc the movie didn't talk about any of Wanda's previous lives at all? or any of the other planets the souls took over?? which was a huge chunk of interesting worldbuilding lost. also the souls in general were just framed as being wholly bad and evil when in the book it really emphasizes that they DO care. they genuinely think they're helping other species by taking them over and keeping them from self-destructing. is it murder? yes, but not to the souls. the souls don't do this out of malice because they're incapable of even feeling malicious towards others. and the movie really just missed that.

I would say Jared felt like a flat piece of bread in the movie because he did but also he literally felt like that in the book too so. guess they got that right. Ian though... they flattened my boy he was so much more interesting in the book gahhhh so much lost potential there.

I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna write a wall of text and here I am. I could probably say more but I'm gonna cut myself off there. I think part of the issue is that the book is really big and a lot of it is the slow shift in dynamics Wanda has with everyone and it hinges so much on her internal thought process which is difficult to get across on screen. But also it just sucked. even if I hadn't read the book it was still a bad movie overall imo. I'm just gonna keep rereading the book every few years and pretend the movie never happened.

[bunnyboyzyon]

I would love to officially ask you 1-24 on the list that you just reblogged please and thank you

uh uh tldr morbid curiosity has gotten the best of me and I am getting therapy

1- What’s your favorite color? Every green and scarlet red

2- Coffee or tea? Tea but it always needs milk and a little bit of sugar

3- If you could live anywhere and cost wasn’t an issue, where would you live? Alaska it's so far from everything else it's cold there's snow and polar night I need that in my life

4- If you were a time of day, what time of day would you be? 5 am

5- What’s your phone wallpaper?

6- What’s a song that you relate to?

7- What would you do if you found a 100 dollar bill on the sidewalk? Keep it?? I'm buying rings with that

8- Do you have any piercings or tattoos? Double ear piercings that I don't use and a nose piercing in my right nostril, current stud is a little bat

9- What song would you want to get kissed to? If someone kissed me I'd cry.. anyways

10- What song would you play at your funeral?

11- When’s the last time you cried? Like two days watching the finale of Sweet Tooth because of how inevitable it is that the people who love you will die eventually no matter how many times you save them

12- What do you want to be remembered for when you die? I want peanut to remember how much I love them, and I'd rather be forgotten by everyone else

13- If you could commit any crime without consequence, which crime would you commit? Or would you not commit any crime at all? I would say cannibalism but fun fact cannibalism is legal in most states so murder but only twice on people who hurt me

14- Would you rather know the date or cause of your death? The date so I know how much or how little time I have left to do everything I've dreamed of

15- What would you do if you found a dead body in a hotel room? The people want me to say I'd be scared but I'd start investigating the body like a new forensics case I'm gonna know how long its been dead and how it died before the police get there

16- Are we really living or are we just slowly dying? Both, depends on the person. I personally feel like I'm slowly dying but others around me seem to be living and thriving

17- Do you like the taste of blood? Yeah when you get used to it when you used to get nose bleeds everyday for a few months (my pollen allergy used to be so bad yall I got anemia from that plus periods)

18- If you had to lose a body part, which one would you choose and why? Boobs. I'm trans masc I don't need to explain this

19- Would you rather be frozen, burned, or drowned? Burn because it only takes about 30 seconds for fire to burn your nerves and keep you from feeling the pain

20- If there's hell of some sort, do you think you’re going there? Absolutely I don't think it's normal to want to know what the human body tastes like but I'd get consent n stuff there's gotta be people who donate their bodies to the science of finding out what they taste like right??? Curiousity killed the cat though so

21- How would you dispose of a body? Cannibalism bc what're they gonna do, cut me open??? Or dissolved with acid and dumped into a storm drain

22- Would you kill someone you don’t know to save someone you love? Of course if it's them vs some random person I don't know I'm picking them every single time

23- Would you rather be burned at the stake but die a saint beloved by all, or die peacefully but have nobody remember you? Peacefully and forgotten

24- Would you rather eat part of a human heart or a whole human eye? But like what if both though.. can I atleast have the whole heart??? What if the parts taste different I need to know

[strideofpride]

#the sheer fucking dramatic irony of this whole conversation#the girls calling serena dan’s heroine#when he’s in love with blair. and not serena anymore#serena hasn’t been the star of dan’s life for a while#meanwhile kill bill sirens are going off in Dan’s head because in a few hours they are both gonna KNOW#except that the subject of his affection is the most fucking obtuse woman in all of new york city#so it’ll be six more months until it actually sinks in that he loves her#meanwhile all THREE of these girls are thinking they are the villian in Dan’s novel#(and dan’s life)#and serena is reminiscing of when she was dan’s heroine while these brown eyed bitches are eye fucking (eye making love)#right in front of serena’s salad#i gotta eat some dry wall about this#and the gag is that there IS no pedestal#at least there isn’t anymore#dan has seen all of each woman for who she is#and idealizes neither of them anymore#and loves them (to varying degrees) anyway#and isn’t that so much more delicious and insane than the basic ass love triangle people pretend this is???? (via @terrainofheartfelt)

DAIR REWATCH ⇢ 5.04 Memoirs of an Invisible Dan

[hitmehardnsweet]

it’s 6am and the first thing i see is randal keith ready to punt soulja boy into the sun huh

[itsjustbeek]

2018 the year i hope i gain confidence to try actual WoW rping instead of just reading profiles and hiding and watching from the shadows and fucking instantly fleeing as soon as someone targets me

[astrologicalcedars]

UGH OK SO TWITCH CLIPS ARENT WORKING BUT I GOTTA GET THIS OUT

So in Campaign 3 Ep. 26, we learn a lot of juicy backstory stuff about certain PCs, particularly Dusk, played by Erika Ishii. In watching the episode, I noticed something VERY interesting that I wanted to throw out into the void and see if anyone calls back. I do not trust the tag system, so spoilers under da break.

SPOILERS I SAY THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING.

Gone? Good.

OK! So for starters, WILD turn on Erika’s part to pull something like this a guest PC. They are amazing for this. I think there is something interesting about The Burning Vale vs. The Lightless Flame. So that’s interesting. Also I love fae politics in any media so very inchresting overall.

But more to the point of post. Towards the end of the episode, around 4:14:08, Laudna is recounting to Dusk the similarities between Imahara Joe’s lights and arcane batteries. (Side note: the moment Matt described them as blue and crackling, the kill bill sirens started going off) It is a blink and you miss it moment, but when Laudna mentions the relationship between Treshi and Ira Wendagoth/the Nightmare King, Erika’s eyes go wide and while everyone is looking at Laudna retelling the events, Erika looks at Matt, who then gives the smallest nod.

So in my opinion, this can mean a couple of things:

Dusk works UNDER Ira, in some manner. Maybe he’s an Oberon type figure to either Morri Calloway or Elmenore’s Titania. However, he seems more a researcher than a ruler, so maybe more an evil Puck.

Dusk works /worked FOR Ira. Once again, seemed more a researcher than a ruler/commander, but this could be more likely to cause that level of recognition.

Dusk works WITH Ira. This one seems most likely to me, as a fae researcher and assassin, especially of the Unseelie variety, would have more cause to run in similar circles.

Long story short, I don’t think that nod was nothing, and will definitely play out sometime in the future.

[shizuokadivision]

Round 4 — Sakura: “So we finally reached the singing round. Some of you impressed me and others you did not. So let’s see who made the cut and who didn't.”

“First Aaron, I have to say your song was fine if not a bit boring. However, it was better than your previous rounds, so congrats for once.”

“Kurusu, it feels like I'm listening to an anime opening, which knowing you isn’t probably too off, but the song itself wasn’t half bad.”

“Ren, I quite enjoyed the song you performed. The guitar riff was excellently executed. I expected nothing else from the famous Vox.”

“Himura, You got guts for performing in a language you’re not fluent in. However, gotta say if you did kill it for once in this competition.”

“Tsukimoto, oh wow this is fucking depressing. I’ve got the urge to stare out a window while smoking a cigarette as it rains now. You do know this is supposed to be a happy round right? Not this bleak sob song.”

“Shiba, holy shit. Now, this is what I'm talking about. You put on a full show. Even brought in a whole giant tentacle. Went full pirate for this didn’t you?”

“Kyō Sakuma, okay, this is catchy if not a bit of an earworm. This is the type of song I’d play if I ever went on a road trip. I won't lie, it got repetitive in some parts though.”

“Kunio Chōten, you know you’re supposed to be singing right, not talking? Also, what the hell were those mouth sounds? Ugh, just no.”

“Douglas, this is the most generic love song I have ever heard. I kept zoning out in the middle of the song. So it’s a no for me.”

“Rashaad, I hate to say this to you, but I did not enjoy your song. It was just boring, and frankly, the genre isn't one I usually enjoy anyway.”

“Anchikar, you may have redeemed yourself this round. Your song was certainly one of the better ones of this round. I’m not even a fan of R&B most of the time, but it was catchy.”

“Rikiya, okay I’ll admit it. This song is kinda cute. Like something you’d find in the countryside. It suits you.”

“Yano, hahaha! Oh, this song is a riot! It suits you as a jester. Even your scating was amusing if not perhaps a bit overdone.”

“Ryuko Umemoto, oh gosh, not this song. Do you know how many times people have played this song at me because I'm a yakuza? There are too many times to count. So thumb down from me.”

“Maki Umemoto, well damn once again the spineless professor surprises us. I see you went with a more horror vibe and I'm shocked how well you pulled it off.”

“Yorii Sakuma, To be honest I prefer your song from the talent round. That one at least fits with the whole siren theme you have going on.”

“Kessaku, stick to being a bodybuilder. Your throat is one part of your body you haven't quite completely mastered yet. Frankly, I don’t think you ever will.”

“Finally Kunio Chōten, what is this early 2000's Justin Timberlake? You’re giving, I left the boy band and became a washed-out soloist vibe right now.”

“Now then food’s here. Also, goddammit Meizono, what the hell? I said I'd buy food, not a whole fucking buffet. Not even Reika racks up a bill like this and I’ve seen her eat plates full of food.”

Let’s have a word with our Judges!

@saitama-division @okinawa-division @minato-division01 @shizuokadivision @akihabara-division03

[zombolouge]

realize I'm in a bad mood because I forgot to eat lunch, get up to make lunch and realize cat food is low, fill cat bowl, sit down, realize I still need to make lunch, get up and realize pan needs washed and I gotta turn on my color bulbs for the kitchen with my phone because that's how I turned them off last night, set pan in sink with running water and turn on lights, sit down, tumblr, realize I still need to eat and the sink is running, get up and go to the bathroom, sit down, tumblr, realize the sink is on, remember I need to eat, get up, wash pan, leave sink on, sit down, realize I didn't MAKE LUNCH, GET UP, AM THIRSTY, START MAKING FUCKING TEA, SIT DOWN, REALIZE THE SINK IS STILL FUCKING RUNNING, GET UP AND TURN THE SINK OFF, FINISH MAKING TEA, WALK HALFWAY OUT OF THE KITCHEN, SET TEA DOWN TO ANSWER MESSAGE ON COMPUTER, SIT DOWN, STOMACH GROWLS, IN THE DISTANCE: SIRENS, THE KILL BILL THEME STARTS TO PLAY