#[it's important to me that she loves her son!!! even if she doesn't act like it and they're going down different paths]

[chocolatepot]

Hi! Can you elaborate on "Fuck GRRM's committment to 'historical realism' without knowing anything about medieval social history"? I would love to know about what GRRM gets wrong about medieval gender roles, specifically.

So Cersei learns at an early age that she has no agency, her only value is producing heirs and is barred from traditional routes of power so she has to use underhanded methods such as influencing men with sex or using underhanded magical means. I would love an explanation on why this doesn't reflect medieval queen consorts and noble women irl.

Sure! The basic summary is: GRRM "knows" the things that everyone "knows" about the middle ages, which are broad stereotypes often reflective of a) primary sources that deserve a critical reading rather than being taken at face value and b) the judgements of later periods making themselves look better at the medieval period's expense.

As Shiloh Carroll argues, building on the work of Helen Young, “readers are caught in a ‘feedback loop’ in which Martin’s work helps to create a neomedieval idea of the Middle Ages, which then becomes their idea of what the Middle Ages ‘really’ looked like, which is then used to defend Martin’s work as ‘realistic’ because it matches their idea of the real Middle Ages.”

Since you're mainly interested in Cersei here, I'd strongly recommend a book: Queenship and the Women of Westeros: Female Agency and Advice in Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice and Fire, edited by Zita Eva Rohr and Lisa Benz. It's an excellent read and speaks to exactly what you're asking about. The tone of the book is very positive and non-judgemental when it comes to GRRM and his depictions of women on the whole, but I think some of this is rhetorical positioning to not seem like "mean angry academics jumping on fiction for not being accurate," as the actual content turns the reader to thinking about how much agency and power medieval queens had in different European societies and how little of that worked its way into GRRM's worldbuilding.

It's true that women typically didn't inherit titles and thrones in their own right, and that they were usually given in marriage for political/dynastic reasons. However, they weren't seen as brood mares whose only duty was to pop out sons: both queens and noblewomen had roles to play as household managers, counselors, and lieutenants, actively participating in the ruling of their domains and in local and international diplomacy (women in political alliances were not just pawns sent to a powerful man's bed, but were to act as ambassadors for their families and to pass information back and forth), and they had to be raised with an understanding of this so that they could learn to do it. Motherhood was very important, don't get me wrong, but it's a mistake to assume as pop culture does that a wife's foremost duty being to provide heirs for her family meant that she was ONLY seen as a mother/potential mother.

Catelyn is a great example of what was expected of women in these positions. But in the books, Catelyn is basically the only woman who inhabits this role, and the impression given is that she's exceptional, that she's just in charge of the household because she's so great at it that Ned allows her to be his partner, and that he listens to her advice because she happens to be a wise person in his orbit - and also that Ned is exceptional for giving so much power to a woman, because in the world of ASOIAF, it takes an especially good man to do this. In GRRM's view of the medieval world, realpolitik and the accumulation of power are the most important things, so men in Westeros are extremely unlikely to give up any authority to their wives, even though this is historically inaccurate.

Cersei, on the other hand, is supposed to be a more realistic depiction of what would happen to an ambitious medieval woman. There's a chapter titled "Queen of Sad Mischance: Medievalism, “Realism,” and the Case of Cersei Lannister" in the book I've rec'd, and it deals with why this is problematic extremely well. (This is the source of the quote at the top of this post.) In it, Kavita Mudan Finn argues that Cersei embodies pretty much every medieval trope for the illegitimate wielding of power by a woman. She underhandedly gets people killed for opposing her, she seduces men into doing her bidding, she advances her family's interests and her own at the expense of the realm. She's made sympathetic through fannish interpretation and Lena Headey's performance, but in the text she's an evil woman doing evil things. Even when she gets to be regent for her son - a completely legitimate historical position that allowed women to handle the levers of power almost exactly like a king - she continues to do shitty things and not be taken seriously because she's just not good at ruling.

But even before then, from a medieval perspective she had access to completely legitimate power that she didn't use: she'd have had estates giving her a large personal income, religious establishments to patronize (giving her a good reputation as a pious woman and people she'd put in high positions being personally loyal to her), artists and writers to patronize as well, power over her household, men around her listening to her counsel. That she doesn't have that is a reflection of GRRM either deciding these things don't really exist in Westeros in order to make it a worse world than medieval Europe and justify Cersei feeling she had to use underhanded means of power, or not knowing that they were ordinary and unexceptional because he has a good working knowledge of the politics of the Wars of the Roses but little to no knowledge of social history beyond pop culture osmosis, and, imo, little to no interest in actual power dynamics.

There are a lot of books I'd recommend on this subject. There's a series from Palgrave Macmillan called "Queenship and Power" and nearly all the books in it are THE BEST. Theresa Earenfight's Queenship in Medieval Europe is a very readable introduction to the situations of queens in European societies across the continent. She also has a book, Women and Wealth in Late Medieval Europe, that also addresses non-royal women's power. I'm also a huge fan of English Aristocratic Women, 1450-1550: Marriage and Family, Property and Careers, by Barbara Harris, which really emphasizes the "career" aspect of women's lives as administrators and diplomats.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Let's talk Galadriel x Sauron Sexy Times (Freudian symbolism)

@rey-jake-therapist inspired me to write this, and then a few other users started to question about it. Buckle up, this is going to be wild.

According to Tolkien legendarium, can Sauron and Galadriel "do it"? The short answer is: yes. As long as Sauron is in physical form, it's entirely possible. And he can even get her pregnant, too (but it would cost him). Not only that, but they might have already done it back in Season 1, actually.

The long answer is more complicated. Why? Eldar customs, probably decreet by the Valar. I already talked about this shortly in this post. Tolkien’s writings about wedding, love and sex among the Eldar (Elves) can be found in “Morgoth’s Ring, Part III. The Later Quenta Silmarillion: (II) The Second Phase: Laws and Customs among the Eldar.”

Right away, Tolkien makes a distinction between Elves and Men: according to him, Men are horny as hell. Elves not so much: they like sex (the act): "the union of love is indeed to them great delight and joy." Casual sex is a no; and for the Eldar sex = marriage. So much so, that a couple is considered married if they exchange vows to the Valar (Tolkien never specified these vows, only that Manwë is mentioned) and have sex (no feast or celebration required): this usually happens when the couple is in flight, and exile, and wandering. 

All textual evidence seems to point out that the purpose of this act is to have children: 

“. . . the act of procreation, being of a will and desire shared and indeed controlled by the fëa [soul], was achieved at the speed of other conscious and willful acts of delight or of making. It was one of the acts of chief delight, in process and in memory, in an Elvish life, but its intensity alone provided its importance, not its time or length: it could not have been endured for a great length of time, without disastrous "expense" . . . it is longer and of more intense delight in Elves than in Men: too intense to be long endured.”

Elves, usually, don’t have many children (Fëanor being the exception: he had 7 sons), because they spent a lot of both their body (hröa) and soul (fëa) creating them, and Elven pregnancies can last from 1 year up to 100 years (wild). They don’t need a magical pregnancy test, because both parents know when a child was conceived. This date is also the day they celebrate their birthdays (and not the day when they were actually born). They also don’t have children during war time.

The eternal bond (= marriage; because divorce is forbidden) between Elves happens during sex; when they have sex for the first time their bodies and souls become one (= “union of souls”), and it’s a more intense physical and spiritual experience than for Men. Elves who have not had that union together have not yet established that incredible bond.

After children, the Elves also lose interest in having sex all together, and devote themselves to “higher pursuits”. Meaning, once children are born, the couple is now celibate: with the exercise of the power (of generation), the desire soon ceases, and the mind turns to other things... they have many other urgues of the body and of mind which their nature urges them to fulfill.

According to Tolkien, "Elf libidos" only last for a period of one to several hundred years (in their immortal lives). And they look back at the memory of this time with nostalgia. By nature, Tolkien writes that the Elves are seldom swayed by the desires of the body only, but are by nature continent and steadfast. Meaning: they are able to control their urges.

Now, here's the catch.

Sauron, being a fallen Maia of Melkor, doesn't care about any of this. He doesn’t follow the Valar rules, and he hates the Eldar.

In "Unfinished Tales", Tolkien does point out Galadriel as an exception to all of these rules: Celeborn was the lover of Galadriel, who she later wedded. Again, Tolkien doesn’t goes into details here, so we don’t know if “lover” was purely romantic (kissing, for instance) or full-on sexual, really. Either way, it’s been established in “Rings of Power” just how “alien” she is among her kin, overall. And she is a rebellious spirit, going against Gil-galad, her High King, on several occasions, and against the Valar themselves.

Well, she ended up marrying Celeborn after him being her lover, but they only had Celebrían thousands of year later, though. And “Rings of Power” also created another question mark here, because Galadriel only mentions her husband one time: he saw her dancing, they got married, he went to war, and she never saw him again. In the lore, Galadriel and Celeborn, being royalty, most likely had a feast (ceremony). So… does this mean that in “Rings of Power” canon, Galadriel never had her “union of souls” with Celeborn? And that explains why she fell in love with Halbrand/Mairon?

In the lore, we also the have the “little” detail of Elves only having “libido” for a short period of time in their immortal lives.

This is sexual awakening right here. We’ve seen Galadriel being proud, strong-willed and rebellious, but in this scene she looks like a “teenager” (even though she’s thousands of years old, already). Mairon made her speechless with that look. And we also see Galadriel flirting with him after this.

But in “Rings of Power”, Sauron and Galadriel had their “blood marriage ritual” too, and this was their “union of souls”.

Now, we need to look at what Tolkien created in his legendarium: where sex = children, and, most likely, any sexual act that goes against that is frowned upon (consider a corruption to Eru’s creation).

But Mairon, being corrupted by Melkor, doesn’t have any problems in indulging in sexual acts what don’t result in any children (conceiving a child would also cause him to bind himself to his physical form at the time, and he probably doesn’t want that). Galadriel herself isn’t on the mindset for children, also, and she already rebelled against the Valar, herself.

Tolkien estate said no sex scenes, but we sure had a lot of sexual innuendo going on between Galadriel and Mairon, ever since Season 1:

First with Halbrand aka Repentant Mairon: with whim Galadriel had her “sexual awakening”. He pulls her out of the water, and she’s pretty much naked before his eyes. I already wrote a post about the physical attraction between them, so I won’t get into that here.

Freudian symbolism is associated with sex representations, and was developed by both Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung (dreams can reveal a person’s deepest unconscious wishes and desires), but it has been widely used in pop culture and cinema to illustrate several ideas.

Why is this sneaky bastard grinning about?

Well, in Freudian symbolism the mouth is also a symbol for the female genitals, while the spoon is a phallic symbol. The act of eating symbolizes sexual intercourse (= interaction between male and female symbols). What’s why Mairon is grinning: he’s fantasizing all kind of sexual scenarios here.  

In Freudian Symbolism, knifes/daggers/lances/swords (any object resembling the penis in shape or that can be used to penetrate the body and cause injury) are phallic symbols. Meaning, they represent the penis. An erection (in which the penis raises itself against the force of gravity) is usually represented in connection with an air element (it can be ballons, airplanes, missiles, rockets, flying, snakes, etc.).  

The Freudian symbolism behind this scene? Mairon has a boner, and Galadriel is touching it.

Recently, this scene has been talked about a lot (in reference to Celeborn being called a "silver clam"), but that's not the only symbolism happening in here:

The Númenórean smiths tease Mairon, and ask him how close is he with the "she-elf." This Maia is eating ("sexual intercourse") clams, here. Worldwide, the clam is a clitoral symbol, meaning it represents the female genitalia. What does this means? Eating Galadriel out is, probably, what Mairon wants.

Jealous Mairon peacocking for dominance:

Galadriel is right in front of his salad handling all of these swords (phallic symbol). And he wants to assert his dominance, here. The only “sword” she’ll be handling around here is his. And he’s the best at it, too.

Then, in Season 2:

Right off the bat, Sauron is using a snake themed armor. In Freudian symbolism, the snake is also a phallic symbol, representing sexuality, temptation, and erection; and also repressed sexual desires. Sure this is meant to illustrate him as the "great deceiver", but it’s possible to “kill two birds with one stone”, and he only uses this armor in this particular scene.

Now, we have to forget the fight, and concentrate on the dialogue and the symbolism here. 

It has already been noted by many fellow fans that this fight is meant to illustrate Galadriel and Sauron history in Season 1 (the places where Sauron injures Galadriel). And I agree: the entire fight scene was Sauron taunting Galadriel with their shared past. 

Fighting tactics speaking this whole move is very strange. Symbolically, it's pretty much on the nose, as they say: a crown (clitoral symbol) penetrating a sword (phallic symbol) = sexual intercourse. And Sauron does this very aggressively and right in front of her face. Then, he spins the crown and one sword in on his shoulder, and the other on Galadriel’s = they are joined.

Want details? Galadriel is on top (just like Tolkien intended), and then Mairon becomes “the lost king who could ride you” to finish.

And then we have Sauron sounding his most aroused and unhinged yet, while saying these words, with this expression on his face: 

The next dialogue is Galadriel accusing him of everything between them (back in Season 1) being a lie, and another of his illusions. To which he replies (with Halbrand’s voice): 

Then, enters Halbrand: he speaks to her almost whispering, a bit breathless, too, like a lover, and Charlie puts emphasize in two bits of his dialogue: “at your side” and “that feeling”.  And the expression on his face: Halbrand looks desperate, tormented, yearning and nostalgic.

Which makes me ask the question: if this fight is meant to illustrate their past history... does this mean that these two have been sexually intimate already!? 

Where, you might ask? In Eregion, of course. Where we have Mairon naked on a bed being healed, and both he and Galadriel stayed there, according to Elrond in 2x01, “for weeks” (which might suggest a whole month or more).

Some time after his “healing” and being working with Celebrimbor, we also see Mairon getting “touchier” with Galadriel, and whispering on her ear. What changed? When and why did he got so comfortable doing this?

We, the audience, assume that Mairon goes immediately to Celebrimbor’s forge after he wakes up, but is that true?

Celebrimbor asks him “shouldn’t you be resting?”. This can imply he had already awakened from the healing and he should be getting some rest instead of wandering around. And Galadriel, being in love with him, would surely want to be in the room when that happens. But he’s searching for her, instead. And the last scene we saw from Galadriel, was her and Elrond in the room where Mairon was being healed by the Elves.

And this is when they start to look at each other more passionately, too, like actual lovers (and not "just friends"):

Not only that, but he was already planning on forging two rings (surely, one for himself and other for Galadriel). In Elven tradition, the betrothals exchange two silver rings (in this case it would be mithril).

This would also provide a new layer to Sauron commanding his (new) Orcs to destroy Eregion right in front of Galadriel, to get a reaction out of her. He’s petty like that.

This could also explain Charlotte Brändström’s words of how Halbrand “really seduced her”, and how much in love with him Galadriel is.

Galadriel heartbreak on 1x08 and Season 2

Galadriel went through all seven stages of grief in Season 2, concerning Halbrand aka Sauron. We saw her crying or on the verge of tears. She was heartbroken, believing she was deceived, and all that she experienced with Halbrand was a lie. And she wanted to kill the motherf*cker, all by herself, until the bitter end. Do you have something to hide there, Gal? She even thrown Elrond under the bus with Adar in 2x06 just to get a chance to do it.

It has been noticed by some fellow fans, that Galadriel would, often, touch her lower stomach whenever having visions from Nenya, and we saw her planting seeds, too. This highly implies fertility. Now, this doesn’t mean she’s actually pregnant, mind you! But it can symbolize previous sexual acts.

It’s also worth mentioning that, in Freudian symbolism, jewels (such as rings) represent a beloved person.

What is Galadriel so afraid of? Wasn’t Halbrand “only a friend”? 

When Sauron appears in 2x08, Galadriel is absolutely terrified, unable to move. She’s not scared of him, per say; she dreads that he might still be on Halbrand form, and she isn't certain on how she would react to that. But he’s in Annatar form, and she doesn’t have any emotional connection to it. Still, she’s only able to attack him when he had his back turned on her. And then, her expression when she sees Halbrand is very telling:

Sauron and Mirdania

Of course the “great deceiver” who manages to “deceive even himself” got himself a Galadriel doppelgänger when he returned to Eregion to put his “rings of power” masterplan in motion. And he only gets touchy with her whenever he thinks of Galadriel.  

He also disposed of Mirdania when Adar arrived at Eregion (with Galadriel herself on a cage).

This whole business with Mirdania is something physical on Sauron’s part, because he sees the resemblance with Galadriel. And the fact that he touches her so tenderly is interesting to say the least, because (1) we’ve seen Sauron hating being touched throughout Season 2 (even by Mirdania herself), and (2) he’s an immortal spirit from the Unseen world (Maia); he doesn’t actually have any of these needs... Unless he's remembering touching Galadriel herself, and his sexual desire for her.

And what's the last injury that Sauron inflicts on Galadriel on their 2x08 fight?

Full-on penetration. And he doesn't go gentle with it, either. And it ends with him literally ejaculating (blood) inside of her (chest), aka blood binding.

This is pretty much what Tolkien wrote in “Unfinished Tales”, except the lover here is Halbrand/Mairon/Sauron, and he wants commitment (marriage).

Galadriel denies him in Season 1, and again in Season 2. And then, he forces them to bind together, all the same. This could also explain why Sauron was so certain she would actually bind herself to him, in spite of all the evil stuff he has done in Eregion. 

And we have this “lovely” description of Sauron during his war with the Elves (which will be Season 3):

Now Sauron's lust and pride increased, until he knew no bounds, and he determined to make himself master of all things in Middle-earth, and to destroy the Elves, and to compass if he might, the downfall of Númenor. He brooked no freedom nor any rivalry, and he named himself Lord of the Earth. A mask he still could wear so that if he wished he might deceive the eyes of Men, seeming to them wise and fair.

Sauron’s lust will know no bounds in Season 3, good to know. He already bore a hole in Galadriel for the rest of him to slither in, so, only Eru knowns what kind of mind palace shenanigans will he be up to… symbolically.

[ruegarding]

so. percy's arc in boo (learning to step back, allowing leo to sacrifice himself despite his loyalty/fatal flaw) sucks. for many reasons.

for one, percy yielding is such an integral part of pjo. all of pjo. but even if u somehow missed it in the first four books, tlo explicitly spells it out. "sometimes the hardest power to master is the power of yielding" hestia says to percy. "i yield when necessary. can you do this?" and then this is the climax of the story. "you are not the hero...it will affect what you do." percy has spent the last five books being told that he's the super powerful chosen one able to save or destroy the world, and he still chooses to yield to someone that has done nothing but betray him. "the line from the great prophecy echoed in my head...my whole world tipped upside down, and i gave the knife to luke." hoo acting like this is a lesson percy needs to learn is an affront to reading comprehension. percy lives bc he yields. and then he does it (yielding) again when he surrenders godhood, and power, to choose other demigods instead. this is not subtle writing.

for two, percy has rejected power, and his title, for the entirety of his story. percy doesn't even fully recognize how powerful he is until the volcano in botl. and he had to be told directly that it wasn't a fluke. then in son, percy immediately rejects the power and status offered to him. repeatedly. reyna offers him praetorship, he turns it down. frank is abt to let percy climb the wall first in the war games, percy says it was frank's claim. percy doesn't even want to go on the son quest but relents bc frank asked him. in moa, percy never demands that he lead. instead, he includes frank where he probably wasn't necessary, supports hazel, encourages annabeth, follows leo and piper's lead, and strategizes w jason. he isn't acting as a leader, but rather as part of a team. percy didn't need to "step back," the writing for the other characters needed to step up.

for three, percy had to be kidnapped and manipulated to be on this entire quest. he's not there bc he has a hero complex. acting like he has to learn to step back when he was quite literally shoved into place is wild.

for four, an integral part of percy's character is freedom, autonomy, and he extends this to the ppl he's loyal to. this is pretty explicitly established in tlt: "you're enough like me to understand," sally says. "if my life is going to mean anything, i have to live it myself." percy respects ppl's decisions. this is one of the first lessons he learns when he becomes a hero and an integral part of pjo: percy has to let sally save herself. percy has to let tyson go to the boiler. percy has to let bianca defeat talos. percy has to let nico walk away. percy has to let annabeth fight. if he loves them, he's going to let their lives mean something. even in hoo, percy still lets annabeth go on her quest alone, despite hating it, despite disagreeing w it, bc it's not his place to tell her what she can and can't do. this is her life. she has to live it. so this plotline doesn't even work it we ignore all of pjo and focus solely on hoo.

this theme of autonomy is especially important bc pjo is abt disability. one of the first things ppl try to take away from u when ur disabled is ur autonomy. the fact that percy vehemently defends it not just for himself but for others is essential to the narrative. percy advocates for other demigods, other disabled kids, and tyson, and he does so while maintaining their autonomy. it's why he's the leader, it's why he's the protagonist, it's why there is a callback to it in every pjo book. trying to act like he wouldn't respect someone's autonomy is a bastardization of this entire theme. which is actually fitting for hoo considering it bastardizes the rest of pjo anyway.

[torasplanet]

being bruce wayne's controversially young gf is probably such a handful. with all the paparazzi, and new reporters and don't even get me started on that whole batman thing...you'll never forget the time you discovered the batcave in the middle of the night and neither will bruce. you were just sitting at the computers next to Barbara in your silky rope with a frown on your face just ready to yell at him for not telling you.

but that's not what we're here to talk about. we're here to talk about that little munchkin damian.

see at first, he didn't really like you. you were there before him but he still didn't like you very much in all honesty. the other batkids took a liking to you, some quicker than others (dickie) but they still liked you and told damian that you were cool and everything but damian found it disgusting how his father would date someone as young as you.

you were only in your twenties but considering bruce's age being early forties... he thought it was weird. damian was one of many who thought it was horrible until he didn't. you don't exactly know what made him switch but you weren't complaining well...sometimes you were because of his clinginess but you loved him too! damian was attached at your side the moment he started to like you and it was hard to get him away.

you always defended damian especially when he would go back and forth with bruce, which by the way he hated, but it didn't matter the topic because you'd still back him up. "father, school is a waste of time. training is far more important." "yeah! dami is too smart for that."

but don't get him wrong, he still found the age gap horrifying but it was more toward bruce than you now. as time went on, he stopped caring about it but he acted as though he did. damian is just a hater tbh.

anyways, back to him being the clingiest son ever! during galas, you are never seen without the middle schooler at your side either silent or talking to you about something he is passionate about. bruce thinks its cute and plus it makes the public not hate this relationship more but when damian actually needs to do things at the galas, it's pretty annoying for him...

"todd insisted that i play uno with him and the rest of the former robins and it was quite interesting. especially when todd jumped at grayson for cheating." damian ranted in your ear while standing at your side as you sipped at your wine glass carefully listening to him unaware of your boyfriend approaching.

damian noticed before you did and his silence made you confused "damian, you cannot stand next to her all night." bruce said with a sigh and his son only narrowed his eyes at him "why not? i don't find talking to these other wealthy families any sort of intriguing." damian argued while you only smiled brightly at the fact that he found you interesting!

"that doesn't matter, you still have duties."

"well ummi–[y/n]..." damian stuttered clearing his throat in embarrassment as the conversation seemed to go silent. bruce looked at you and you were close to dropping the wine glass because of how happy you seemed so he swiped it from your palm quickly. "...she doesn't seem to mind at all." the boy continued before looking up at you.

you barely registered him looking at you. you were just too happy about him referring to you as his mom!! even if it was just a slip-up. "oh yeah! i don't mind at all and you can call me whatever you want dami! i don't mind that either." you shrugged while rocking back and forth on your heels and damian seemed to be relieved with that but he quickly cleared his throat again and looked at his father with a careless expression.

"well, we'll be going now. grayson is better company than you anyway." damian said grabbing the glass from bruce's hand and grabbing yours with his other before beginning to walk away. you looked back at bruce and silently screamed to show your excitement. i guess he can let it slide this one time...because he was just as happy.

©torasplanet .ᐟ reblogs and likes are very appreciated! pls do not repost!!

[trippinsorrows]

10 things + part two

authors note: wasn't expecting so many of you to be interested in this! but, you were, and now here we are! 😅 there will definitely be a final part 3 to this, btw.

words: 3.1k

part one

gif belongs to @romanreigns

warnings: angst, argument between parent and child, things get a tad bit physical....

Nova has always enjoyed and cherished Roman being home. For a lot of reasons. Many of them obvious, like the fact that he’s her husband, the man she loves, the man she wants to be around. Or even just the relief that comes with having another adult in the home to help out with the girls while she works. 

So him having time off work the past few months really has made a difference. For her. For their marriage. And especially for his relationship with their young daughters.

If only the same could be said for his relationship with their firstborn.

Which is exactly what she plans to tackle when he walks back in the room after putting the girls down for bed.

“How many stories did they sucker out of you?”

Roman chuckles at the first question he’s hit with as soon as he returns from bedtime duties. “Only three this time.”

She smiles, watching him close the door and walk over to where she sits on her knees in the middle of the bed. “Park must have worn them out.”

He makes a sound, starting to eye her up and down. Nova knows that look. Knows it far too well. It’s the same look that most likely led to both her pregnancies with their middle and youngest. “Speaking of wearing out…..”

She rolls her eyes when he reaches for her chin, lifting her head. “We need to talk.”

“Not gonna lie, not really in the mood for talking. Not with this little piece you got on….” He gestures to the thin sleep dress that shows off her breast and hardened nipples that are stretched against the cotton. 

“Too bad.” She ignores him, patting the spot beside her. “Come on.”

The scowl on his face is comical, similar to any of the kids when they’ve just been told something they don’t want to hear. “It better be important.”

“It is,” she promises. One of the most important things in his life. 

Roman looks at her, gaze shifting into something suspicious. “You pregnant?”

She rolls her eyes. “No, Roman, I’m not pregnant.” Nova taps her upper forearm. “Remember? We made sure that doesn’t happen again. At least not without being planned.” He looks both relieved and torn. Relatable. Neither of them necessarily want any more children, but they also wouldn’t be upset if it happened. “Besides, we need to focus on the ones we have. Starting with Junior.”

And instantly, she knows she’s lost his interest. “Not this again—”

“Yes, this again.” She stresses, borderline irritated that he’s irritated that she wants to discuss his abysmal relationship with their firstborn. “He’s your son, Roman. You need to fix your relationship with him.”

“Nova, we both know that boy doesn't want anything to do with me.”

She shakes her head. “That’s not true.”

He runs his hands through his hair, expressing 100% disagreement. “He acts like he hates me or something.”

Though it’s said with surface level irritation, Nova knows her husband well. Has known him since they were teenagers, so it’s relatively easy for her to see through his facade. His statement holds a lot of hurt.

A lot of pain.

“He doesn’t, baby,” she comforts, reaching to push back some of his hair. He has it down, free and wavy just how she prefers it. “He’s just—-he……he feels like he can’t talk to you.”

Roman is quick to object. “He doesn’t want to talk to me.”

“No, he doesn’t want to talk to you if you’re not going to listen to him, and you don’t sometimes, Roman.”

Nova loves her husband as much as she’s certain he loves her, but he can be hard headed and stubborn. Borderline arrogant, especially when he believes he’s right. A hard person to deal with. At times, at least.

She watches the way Roman’s shoulders relax a bit as he lets down some of his walls, admitting, “I just don’t want him to make the same mistakes I did.”

Nova moves and hugs him from behind, chin on his shoulder. “I get that, babe, but he’s going to make mistakes, regardless, because he’s a kid. That’s how they learn.”

“But, why should I just sit here and watch my son go down the same road I did if I can avoid it?”

And herein lies the main issue from what Nova has been able to see. The vastly different stances the two men in her life have regarding one of their futures. RJ wants to enter the NFL draft next year, wants to get started on his career now rather than later. Believes that’s the best route for him. Roman, however, wants his son to finish school and then declare for the draft. 

To avoid having the tough experiences Roman had in not getting drafted and being added and cut from team to team, putting the family in financial difficulties because of inconsistent income. Roman couldn’t even provide for his family at that time, a devastating feeling for anyone, let alone a man.

RJ, clearly, is in a different boat. Regardless, with no college degree, Roman didn’t have much to lean back on. He doesn’t want that for his son.

If only Junior saw it that way.  

“Because you can’t make him do anything he doesn’t want to do.” She sighs, sharing her own thoughts. “I don’t disagree with you, Roman. I think he should stay and finish school and then enter the draft too, but I can’t make that decision for him, and neither can you.”

“So we just let him make bad decisions? Is that what you’re saying?” She closes her eyes. Here they go. “Fuck that. I know you like to be his friend, but you’re not, Nova. You’re his mother, and you need to act like it.”

“Excuse me?” She moves away, removing her arms from around him. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means you don’t like confrontation, so you avoid it by any means, even if it means upholding his bad behavior.”

Nova doesn’t really get angry or let things affect her much. Unless it comes to her family. To her kids. And Roman happens to be picking at that soft spot. “No, you don’t get to do that. You don’t get to make it seem like I’m a bad mother for supporting our son.”

He rolls his eyes. “Not everything needs to be supported.”

“And not everything needs to be judged either.” She shakes her head, climbing off the bed. “This is the shit I’m talking about. It’s like I can’t even talk to you anymore.” Nova heads for their bathroom, already over this conversation. She loves Roman, but sometimes, she can’t stand him.

And this is gradually turning into one of those times. 

Roman is hot on her heels, standing in the doorway as she starts to pull out her skincare items. “See, you’re proving my point. You’re walking away.”

She turns to him, explaining boldly. “I’m walking away because I don’t want to argue with you. I’m tired of that, and you should be too, which is why I’m trying to get you to make peace with your only son.”

Of course, he continues playing the victim, going along with his swan song. “Why should I have to do it? Why should I have to apologize for looking out for him? For being his father?”

“He doesn’t see it that way, Roman. He sees it as you being controlling.”

“No, he just doesn’t want anyone telling him what to do.”

Nova scoffs, grabbing her face cream, twisting off the cap. “Wonder where he gets that from.”

She doesn’t have to be looking at him to know he’s scowling. “He’s not a little boy anymore. You need to stop fucking babying him all the time.”

At that, her head snaps in his direction. “Excuse me?” Again, poking the bear. “I don’t baby him. I make myself available for him emotionally. Lord knows, you don’t.”

“He doesn’t want me—”

Nova slams the jar down on the counter, turning to him. “What does he want, Roman? Huh?” She places one hand on the counter and the other on her hip. “When’s the last time you even asked him?”

He looks away, jaw clenched, and she knows she’s got him. Knows that he has no retort for that. Not a good one, at least. 

“You know what, I’m done asking you to do shit.” She steps toward him, all of the weight and stress of this situation evident in both her expression and voice. “I’m telling you to make things right with our son.”

Nova takes his hands in hers. “I love you, but I love our children more.” She swallows, emotion betraying her, eyes watering. “And if it ever came to it where it’s between them and you….I choose them every time.”

—--------

“We need to talk.”

Nova is barely back in the kitchen after getting the girls down for bed when the smile is easily wiped off her previously happy face. She glances over at her husband and then her son, both standing on separate sides of the kitchen island. She can tell RJ was about to head out, clearly uninterested in staying beyond his attendance for Sunday family dinner.

A part of her wants to cut in, wants to suggest that maybe they do this another time. Maybe over lunch between the two of them. Someplace where they’re less likely to have an epic blowout.

But, it’s too late.

RJ visibly tenses at Roman’s statement. An obvious reaction given the fact that rarely do good things follow those four infamous words. 

“About?” 

“You still planning to enter the draft?”

RJ shrugs. “Yeah.”

Roman is quiet for a second, stroking his beard. “You know that’s stupid, right?”

Nova closes her eyes. Such a great start. “Roman.”

RJ, however, just smiles and crosses his arms. “Of course, you think it’s stupid. Not like anyone else can have a good idea if it didn’t come from you.”

Roman ignores that, instead suggesting, “you need to finish school first. Get your degree.”

“Why?” RJ’s nose is turned up in disgust. “We all know I’m locked in to be a first round pick.”

“That’s what you think. It’s not guaranteed.” Roman objects, advising, “don’t get too cocky.”

At that, RJ looks like he wants to laugh. “You’re telling me that?” He scoffs. “You’re the last one to talk.”

“Junior.” Nova scolds, now standing almost directly next to Roman. “I think what your dad is trying to say—”

“How much longer you think I’m gonna keep putting up with your disrespectful ass mouth, huh?” Roman cuts her off, and Nova finds herself reaching over to grab his hand. His tone alone tells her his anger is spiking, and that’s never a good thing. Especially right now. “Keep it up.”

And the situation is only made worse when Junior starts to laugh. Nova closes her eyes. This is not what she meant when she told Roman to make things right.

He’s doing the exact opposite. 

Roman’s nose is flared, his voice tight as he he asks, “what’s so fucking funny?”

“You.” RJ doesn’t hesitate to answer, hands flat on the granite as he leans over the island. “How all of a sudden you wanna be my dad. How you all of a sudden wanna act like you care about me. Act like you care about my future. Act like you didn’t miss almost, if not all, of my games when I was growing up.”

Nova’s stomach is starting to twist and knot. “RJ—”

But, he only continues. Pain and anger meshing and forming into a dangerous combination. “Mama was there. Every game. You weren’t.” Nova glances over at Roman and sees the same mix of feelings from their son in him. “You weren’t there for me then, so you don’t get to be there for me now.” 

Closing her eyes, she does her best to quickly try to figure out what’s the best thing to say. To try to defuse this situation that’s clearly much deeper than she could have ever realized. 

But, Roman is faster. “You act like I was this piece of shit dad who was never around at all.” And just like with her son, she sees and hears it with the senior of the two. Anger and hurt. And pride. “I had to work to provide for you and your mother. You don’t get to throw that shit in my face when you’re older and use it to play the victim.”

Neither. Neither of them clearly know how to communicate without slinging mud. Without sharing how they feel minus the petty jabs and cheap shots. 

RJ only scoffs, seemingly unbothered. “Whatever.”

Roman leans his head back and rolls his shoulder. “RJ, I’m telling you right now, you leave school early and shit doesn’t work out, I’m cutting you off.”

Nova would have loved to have seen her son’s reaction to that, but she’s too busy looking at her husband with all the shock instead. They never discussed that. And she’s pissed off that he would even bring it up without even consulting her about it.

“Roman, you’re being—”

He ignores her, continuing to direct his warning to their son. “You wanna act grown. You can deal with whatever those consequences are.”

RJ shakes his head, Nova finally looking over at him. She can see it. So much hurt. “So what, I don’t do what you want, and I don’t get to be your son anymore?”

Roman snaps, raising his voice. “You don’t want to be my son now, so what fucking difference does it make?” 

“Roman!” She can’t believe he would say that, can’t believe he could ever fix his mouth to express such a thing to his own flesh and blood. It turns her stomach a little bit. Truly. “Don’t say—”

“It’s alright, mama. That’s who he is. It’s who he’s always been.” The betrayal is seeping through as RJ directs his comment toward her instead of Roman who only continues to look with that same combination of heavy emotions. “I don’t even know why you're still with him” Nova is already at a loss for words at how bad this has gotten, but nothing could have prepared her for what he says next. “Should have left his ass the minute you found out he cheated on you.”

Silence.

Nova’s gaze switches to Roman who seems just as taken back as she feels. How RJ is aware of this, she has no idea. Nor does she know just how much he knows about what really occurred and the complexity of the situation. But, that’s neither here nor there. Because she’s got a whole other issue to handle that’s created with Roman’s next statement. 

“Get the hell out of my house.”

Her eyes snap shut again. 

Shit.

She reaches for his arm. “Roman….”

“No!” He snaps. At her. At RJ. At the situation as a whole that’s reached a higher level of disaster than she could have ever anticipated. “He thinks he knows every fucking thing. Wants to be a man. So let him be a fucking man!”

This is not what their son needs. Far from it. “Roman!”

“Naw, he’s right, mama! I don’t need him!” Her attention switches to her son, who much like his father, is doing a damn good job hiding his hurt at this entire thing. Hiding the open, gaping emotional wound. “I can take care of myself!”

“So do it!” Roman continues, completely honed in on his emotions instead of the logic Nova is trying to desperately instill and impart on them both right now. “Get your own fucking car! Pay your own fucking tuition!” 

“I will!” He yells back. “Acting like this your house when everybody knows mama was the one taking care of your broke ass and everything else until your career kicked off!”

“RJ! That is enough.” All of this has gone too far. “I know you’re upset, but he’s still your fath—”

“He’s nothing to me!” Nova feels like she’s in some sort of simulated reality. One where every single one of her worst fears comes to life and haunts her. Or, maybe that would be more enjoyable than this. “He’s just a narcissistic ass—”

Nova has never had fast reflexes. Ever. Two left feet, poor hand eye coordination. The whole nine yards, but there’s nothing slow about the way in which she jumps in front of Roman who starts to lunge toward their son with nothing good in mind.

Nothing good at all.

“No!” She shouts, hands on his chest, knowing that it’s certainly not her strength restraining him. It’s the fact that he clearly doesn’t want to hurt her. “Roman, no! Please!”

“Let him go! Let him do it!”

“RJ! Shut up now!” Nova snaps, directing some of her own simmering anger to her son. She feels for him, sees the hurt hiding behind the anger, but enough is enough. He’s out of line. 

“Why?” He continues. And Nova is really starting to wonder if he took something, because this is not the son she knows. The child she raised. She never taught or allowed him to be this disrespectful. “You know I’m right! Even uncle Jey said it! Dad is a bit—”

Nova is barely able to process what’s happening until she’s stumbling to the side, Roman having bypassed her. She’s only able to see the moment he shoves RJ who stumbles and falls back, just not on the ground. 

No. A single, small cry pierces the air and causes all three of them to pause, even if for the briefest second.

“Mommy!” Arabella’s cry of pain is slightly muffled under RJ’s heavy body as he quickly moves to roll off his little sister whose face is turned up in pain, her arms reaching out for a source of comfort.

Roman looks devastated. RJ is mortified, and Nova can only rush over to her daughter, quickly lifting and holding her, gently cradling her head as Bella cries into her.

“Mom, I’m sor—”

“No!” Nova snaps. Enough. She’s just had enough. “Both of you get the hell out of my house!”

Roman swallows and steps forward, eyes focused on Bella’s little body as she sobs into Nova’s neck. “Bella—”

“I said I want you out!” She reaffirms, stepping toward her son whose anger has melted away into a stirring pot of guilt. “You come back when you find your goddamn brain.” Angling her body toward her husband, to the man she’s spent so much of her formative years and life with, feeling for the first time in a long time, nothing but disgust. “And you?” Nova is almost certain she feels the moment her heart breaks as she says those infamous words. “Don’t come back at all.”

[wordsarelife]

—the black dog

pairing: theo nott x fem!reader

summary: the war awakes something in theo you hadn't thought was even there. you battle with your feelings of heartbreak, while you try to forget his everlasting presence in your life

warnings: mentions of death, grief, pain and torture. canon typical violence. this is very much heartbreak through and through

note: this isn't exactly what you asked for but your request inspired me to write this. i feel like it was important to highlight the complicated relationship that theo and reader resulted in because of the war.

theo and draco are cousins in this.

"would you please just talk to me?" you screamed. he had been acting weird for a few days now. 

at first you hadn't thought anything of it, not at the beginning. it had started with draco, who had been strange since the school year started, staying behind when the rest of you would go somewhere or disappearing in the middle of dinner. 

you had tried talking to him, you had grown closer over the time you and theo were together. you had quickly realized that it was hard for draco to build relationships, partly because he wasn't sure how and partly because he was scared of being left. 

you had done a pretty good job at showing him that you were going nowhere and that he, even if theo and you should break up one day, would still be your friend. 

you had thought that it had something to do with his parents. he didn't mention them often and you had only met them once, during a visit to the manor for a festivity during the winter break of the fifth year. you admitted that you didn't know them well, but it was easy enough for you to judge narcissa malfoy and the connection she had to her son. the love that kept her from ever risking something happening to him.

whatever was going on with him, his mother was well informed and probably already searching for a solution.

but draco had made it clear to you that he wanted to be left alone and you didn't push him to tell you more, just comforted him whenever he would let you or pansy. 

his weird behavior had been a constant throughout the entire year, until the point where it had influenced mattheo and enzo to act just as suspiciously and if you thought it couldn't get worse, you had been wrong. 

"i can't" theo muttered between clenched teeth, and you tried to look at his face as he frantically turned away from you. 

"is it about harry? is it about something he said to draco? did he say something to you?"

harry and the rest of your gryffindor friends were normally a topic you strictly avoided when in company of the slytherins and especially draco. you didn't agree on the childish rivalry they had going on and rather just kept out of that. but now that you thought about it, harry had been acting just as strange as draco had since the beginning of the year.

"potter doesn't matter, y/n" theo pressed his hands on both your shoulders, scaring you with the look on his face. 

"let me help you, love" you tried to not let it affect you, to not let the fear shine through your voice and honestly, you weren't scared of him, but of what would happen to the boy you loved so desperately it felt like breathing. 

"you can't" theo shook his head. "but you have to get ouf of the castle immediately, promise it to me"

"what? why should i--"

"you have to promise it" theo repeated louder, desperate and teary eyed as he stared at you like you had already died. 

the threatening war had made it harder to overlook the differences between you and the slytherins. you were a pureblooded witch, but definitely didn't share the same views about blood purity your friends did. 

"okay" you cooed, taking him into your arms. "i promise, i promise anything you want" 

theo didn't leave much room for questions when he told you to get off the hogwarts grounds and apparate home to your parents a few minutes later. you were scared and confused, as you watched the fear in his eyes flame up at whatever was coming. there was something he was not telling you and it simply broke your heart, knowing that he had to go through it alone. 

you weren't sure what took over you, when you heard a familar laugh, one that was so earth shattering and haunting, you couldn't help but dash back into the castle, despite what you had promised your boyfriend, his name repeating over and over again in your mind. 

you took two stairs at once, sprinting up the tower, wand in hand and ready to jump to theo's defense. 

"you made mummy so proud, boys" bellatrix said and you wanted to throw up at the tone in her voice. you could just imagine enzo and mattheo, or what was left of them, looking at their mother, not one bit of love or familiarity on their face. just fear. 

before you could climb the rest of the stairs, a hand grabbed you, pulling you to the side, behind old school supplies. the persons other hand was pressed onto your mouth and your eyes grew big until you noticed harry, stoic expression, not amused at seeing you. 

"harry" you muttered relieved. 

"what are you doing here?" harry whispered, not caring for the fear in your voice or the intent you had had coming up here in the first place. 

before you could answer, bellatrix spoke once again. 

"your boy has surely made you proud too, nott" she giggled. "just like our draco will make his parents in just a few minutes"

your eyes went up to the floor above you like your own name had been called. it wasn't even theo she had called by the name and still you could just imagine his slumped down shoulders and sickly expression. the same he had been spotting these past few days.

harry watched you closely, as if to make sure you would keep quiet, before his eyes turned back up too. 

“do it” bellaxtrix hissed at draco, who had raised his wand at dumbledore.

harry and you exchanged glances, before he too, raised his wand. you gripped on his arms tightly, shaking your head at him. 

“we can’t” you mouthed. 

“dumbledore” harry whispered. you shook your head again, tears spilling over your cheeks. 

your eyes left harry and wandered back through the floorboards. you couldn’t see theo, enzo, and mattheo, but draco was clearly shaking in fear and you couldn’t help but be worried about him. 

“draco” bellaxtrix encouraged once more “do it!”

“he’s not brave enough, bellatrix” notts voice rang out sounding as triumphantly as possible. you heard movement on the floor, a pair of dark shoes stepping forward and you wondered what nott was planning to do, when your heart suddenly stopped beating. 

“avada kedavra” a voice muttered, wand raised and aimed at dumbledore, who fell backwards so slowly as if time had stopped.  

harry gripped your arm, your body still frozen, as your eyes stayed focused on notts shoes. theodore notts shoes. not his father. theo, your theo. 

theo had just killed dumbledore. 

one part of you wanted to scream, jump into the open and scream at him or bellatrix or all the people a few steps above you, but the other part, the unstoppable dread, was aching to hide away from all of it, to just go and never come back.

how could you ever look at him again after what you had just witnessed? would he still be the same after he had done something like this? you couldn’t. he wouldn’t. your heart ripped open. 

“y/n” harry whispered, pushing you back to hide the both of you behind some old astronomy maps. footsteps descended down the stairs and out of the tower and you felt like you could breathe again once he had left. 

you sank to your knees immediately. harry still watched the space around you, not sure if you were entirely safe yet. 

someone ran up the stairs. harry tried grabbing you to push you back behind the old things, to shield you from whoever was coming back and trying to finish the job. 

it was snape and harry felt relieved for the first time upon seeing the teacher. he didn’t fully trust him, but dumbledore did. also, snape was a far better option than any of the death eaters. 

snapes eyes jumped between harry and you on the ground, before they turned to look up the stairs. 

“they’re gone” harry said, voice raised to drown out your sobbing, before he bent down once more and helped you back onto your feet. he pulled you close, to bring you comfort and shield your tear spilled face from snape's penetrating gaze.

harry wasn’t sure if he imagined it, but he could almost see a bit of pity in snape’s eyes, when the man watched you stand on your shivering legs, only held up by harry, as if your body was too heavy to stand on it’s own.

it was just suddenly that the meaning of snape's presence painted a clear picture in your mind. narcissa malfoy hadn't found a solution, no she had found something that was even better: a substitute, someone to step in, when draco would ultimately fail upon the task he had been given.

and tiberius nott had done the same, only that he had proudly sold out his son instead of sparing his life.

you threw off harry’s arms, walking across the room, step by step, until you were standing in front of the teacher, ready to bash his head in.

“you are too late” you cried, not caring if spit or tears or anything else fell onto his robes. you stabbed a finger to his chest. “it’s your job to help. why didn’t you help him?” you cried.

snape furrowed his brows in confusion. “draco?” he asked in his normal tone, but a little bit of surprise broke through. just like you had thought. not even snape had held draco for capable of fulfilling his task.

you shook your head. slowly, bitterly. It was unfair that you had to say his name, that you had to recapture the event like a missed quidditch game, that snape had been late enough to miss it, but perfectly on time to watch your life fall apart.

you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. couldn’t even mutter the name that had been the most beautiful thing to you these past years, there was nothing left. no meaning behind those letters and still you couldn’t do it. “nott” you said. 

it was over. 

“nott?” snape repeated, as if he was daring you to finally say what you had been dreading. 

“junior” harry muttered. you turned your head at him and he looked down on his shoes, as if he was ashamed you had heard him. 

“surprisingly unexpected” snape noted, like you had been discussing the weather.

“what?” you muttered, your voice strained. 

“y/n” harry said softly and you could hear him coming closer. you broke apart from snape, slapping his hand away when he tried reaching for your arm in an unusual caring manner. 

“you failed him” you spit at him, before you stormed out of the tower, harry hot on your heels.

bellaxtrix and the rest of the deatheaters, were jumping down the grass path to hagrids hut. following behind them were draco, enzo, mattheo and finally theo, who stepped out of the castle as last.

they had probably strolled through the halls, bringing their inevitable destruction into the home you had grown to love and cherish.

harry and you had watched them from the side of the entryway, dried tears on your cheeks and the anger taking over the pain that had tightened your chest. you loved him, but you couldn't believe that he had had no choice.

killing someone was not debatable.

you had watched in susprise when theo had not been there with them, but your surprise had been quickly taken over by even more anger, when he finally strolled through the door, hands in his pockets, like he was talking a late evening stroll.

your hand wept forward without so much as a thought, gripping the material of his tie and yanking him back.

theo made a gurgling sound, briefly breathless, and it was only his surprise that allowed you to measure up enough strength to effectively pull him back. that and your anger.

harry helped you as he pushed theo against the wall, wand at his throat.

theo took a big breath as soon as you let go of his tie, his eyes widened in surprise as he completely ignored harry and only looked at you, your face cast with shadows of the darkness in the creeping night and the regret that was so evident it only pained him further.

"didn't i tell you to go home?" it didn't surprise you that there was still a hint of superiority in his voice, even if it had faltered tremendously.

"you knew about all of it, didn't you?" you asked instead.

"y/n" theo sighed, in a tone as if he was inspecting a failed task for a homework you hadn't been able to finish. "i can explain"

"i don't think you should" you muttered and you were doing your best to not let the look of helplessness that now entered his face break your heart any further. "i just think i speak for the both of us, when i say that it's over"

"y/n" theo pleaded, pushing against harry's hold to try and reach for you. you stepped back and harry pushed the tip of his wand deeper into theo's neck.

you shook your head, not having it in you to look at him, before you turned around. "do what you have to do" you left the two of them alone, knowing that harry was just waiting to punish theo for killing one of the most important people to him.

you couldn't muster up the courage to even care about what would happen to him. your anger at snape had evaporated as fast as it had come. theo had it in him to kill and snape's late arrival changed nothing about that.

the person you had loved died together with the headmaster.

everything had been lost the moment he had muttered the curse, leaving behind a hurricane of feelings in your heart, but no one left to love in this world.

you did not waste another thought for him, pushing his name so far away from your mind, you almost forgot about him completely.

but a three-year relationship wasn't just consisting of memories, but of habits too and you found yourself thinking about possibilities in the dead of night.

possibilities that you had thought to be endless before, but of which was only one left now.

what if theo hadn't killed dumbledore?

your friends were clearly worried about you. hermione and ginny never left you alone during your stay in the burrow or during the nights, which had to have been the most haunting. the time were you most experienced his loss, as nightmares were plaguing your mind and fear was taking over your senses, feeling like you had made a mistake with theo. even if your friends and the weasleys said something different.

it was the same restlessness that lead to you following hermione, ron and harry on an adventure that was trying to fulfill an impossible task.

but there was no hope left if you didn't at least try what had been asked of you and you were smart enough to realize that.

even though you were always together, the time you were on the road seemed to be the most lonely you had ever felt and you found yourself thinking more about theo than you had wanted to.

none of your friends dared to say anything to you the next morning, when you would call out his name in your dream, always asking yourself what had happened, and if he was even still alive.

your question was answered in a different way than you had liked, when your group was discovered by deatheaters and brought back to malfoy manor, where not only draco and the malfoys, but theo was staying too.

you hadn't seen him at first, down in the dungeon. but surely they had come to get hermione, bringing her back a few hours later, scarred and crying for mercy as she fell into ron's arms.

it took another hour to call for the other female friend of harry potter.

"the other?" you could draco's voice ask when you were dragged up the stairs and through the halls.

"what other?" it was theo's voice that was now speaking, fear and dread overweighing the curiosity.

the door flew open and five people turned around to gain a look at you.

narcissa and lucius malfoy were sitting in obnoxious chairs, spotting similiar looks of surprise and interest.

bellatrix was hanging over the back of narcissa's chair. her hands pressing down on her younger sister's shoulders, squeezing them as if she was excited.

narcissa suddenly seemed less content, as she heard the similar gasps coming from her sons and nephew's mouths.

draco and theo were staring at you wide-eyed. their faces pale and painfully twisted as they recalled what had happened with harry potter's other friend just hours before.

"oh" bellatrix quirked up when the unknown death eater threw you to the floor and theo and draco dashed forward at the same time to try and catch you, before they were held back by the black haired witch. "do you happen to know her?"

your eyes were fixated on the doors behind you, which fell close with a loud thud as the deatheater who had brought you disappeared.

"no" draco and theo mustered up to stutter at the same time.

you send a glare across the room. it meant nothing, those two were only shells of the boys you had once known. but the innocence had been drained from them like a well run dry in a relentless drought.

"what are we going to do with you?" bellatrix smiled, stepping away from the chair and walking around your body on the floor.

narcissa reached for theo's arm, when he was about to drag bellatrix away from you.

you averted your eyes. not giving her the satisfaction to see the fear in them.

bellatrix looked through your act immediately. "she's a tough one" she noted and her expression of admiration changed to a malicious grin as she saw theo close his eyes.

"you do it" she laughed excitedly, stepping forward and pulling theo into the middle of the room.

"bellatrix, please" narcissa said, not even bothering to stand up and stop her sister from her attempt.

"what, cissy?" bellatrix asked. "you don't think she should be punished for stealing?"

"stealing what?" your voice made bellatrix turn around dramatically.

"would you look at that!" she gushed "the girl can speak!"

"yes" you nodded "and the girl can even tell you that she stole nothing"

"lie" bellatrix giggled and you had to admire her persistence, while the playful tone in her voice kept you on edge, always waiting for the moment she would break into an insanely loud scream.

you had heard not only hermione's cries, but bellatrix' screams from the dungeon. that gave a measure to how loud she was able to scream. and how she could torture until there was nothing left of the person you had once been.

"atta boy!" bellatrix encouraged theo, as she pushed him closer, until he was standing just a few feet from your body.

you wouldn't beg for their mercy. you would die without feigning any regret. if bellatrix really thought you stole something from her, you were glad she was torturing you instead of harry, who was much more important for everything coming after.

you could afford to die so early into the war. you were of no importance for the safety of the wizarding world.

you looked up at theo. the blue of his eyes mixed together with the tears that were already spilling over the edges.

"it shouldn't be hard" you said, voice hoarse and strained. you had been apart for almost ten months and he was still creating a lump in your throat, he was standing for everything that had been lost.

theo exchanged a glance with draco, almost as if begging him to take his place.

"bellatrix, this is madness" narcissa said, a bit stricter now, as if her simple words could really change the mind of someone who had already decided to embrace the madness her sould had been corrupted by.

"oh, cissy" bellatrix giggled "how will he learn? just another step on the path he must take to be granted the honour of the dark lord"

"do it" you said to theo, ignoring what bellatrix was babbling about.

"i can't—“ theo looked back at narcissa, talking to her rather than you.

"do it!" you repeated, louder this time.

"she even wants him to" bellatrix noted, clear amusement in her voice. she was almost excited to find out more about the conflict between you and her nephew.

"she's a pureblooded witch" theo turned to bellatrix, now trying to convince her himself. "she's one of us"

"i'm not" you protested, but bellatrix ignored you, stepping forward and touching theo's cheek softly with the pocket knife that she had taken from her robes, dripping in blood. hermione's blood probably.

"i thought you didn't know her" bellatrix mused "but the knowledge about her blood status suggests otherwise" theo gulped and before he was ready to say something, bellatrix has dragged the weapon across his cheek with one quick gesture, leaving a bleeding cut.

theo looked down quickly, as if to hide his injury from you, but he hadn't missed the gasp of air you had taken, scared that the woman had planned to kill him.

bellatrix stepped back next to her sister. "go on boy, don't make auntie bella angry" she threatened, playing with the knife in her hand.

not even narcissa dared to say something.

"just kill me" you told theo, when he raised his eyes to look at you once more, wand still losely hanging to the side. "you know how to"

"y/n" theo muttered, just loud enough for you to hear.

"it doesn't matter" you shook your head. "just do it" you closed your eyes, ready for the stream of the green curse to take over your body and future.

theo did not raise his wand.

"kill me" you said loudly, unforgiving, almost screaming. you opened your eyes to look at your tormentors. apart from bellatrix none of them looked like they were particularly enjoying what was happening.

bellatrix’s eyes gleamed with a twisted satisfaction as if she was savoring the power she held over theo. narcissa’s face was a portrait of conflicted emotions, torn between her loyalty to her sister and her love for her son and nephew. lucius’s gaze darted nervously between the scene unfolding before him, as if hoping for some resolution to the madness. draco was crying and trying to swallow the breaths that were tempting him to throw up right on his aunt's feet.

and theo? theo was rather keen on killing himself than doing you any harm.

you were less forgiving. "kill me like you killed dumbledore!" you screamed, tears falling on the floor in front of you, as your voice echoed off the cold stone walls. the anger in your voice was raw, pure, and unfiltered. theo flinched at the words, his face paling further, if that was even possible. the weight of your demand seemed to crush him, making it even harder for him to act.

you were so indescribably angry. but not at what he had done to you, but rather what he had done to himself. and that in it alone was the reason you would never forgive him.

he had ruined what you had loved. he had killed the person you had loved the most and you had nothing left to care about what would happen to you.

maybe it was his punishment that he had to be the one to kill or torture you.

theo’s grip on his wand faltered as he looked at you with a mixture of horror and heartbreak. he seemed to be struggling not just with what he was being asked to do, but with the shattered remnants of the person he used to be.

bellatrix’s patience wore thin, her frustration evident as she waved her wand dismissively. “enough of this pathetic display,” she sneered, her voice dripping with venom. “the boy is clearly too weak for this task.”

“no!” theo shouted, his voice cracking. “i can’t— i won’t—” his wand dropped to the floor, clattering against the stone with a finality that seemed to reverberate through the room.

the room erupted into chaos as bellatrix’s fury reached its peak. she turned on theo with a rage that was almost as palpable as your own pain. narcissa tried to intervene, her voice pleading, but it was clear that the darkness had already taken hold.

but before she was able to mutter a curse, to torture or kill theo right in front of your eyes, harry, ron and hermione came running in the room, wands raised they started firing spells.

it took you a moment longer to get up. you and theo held eye contact, the boy just a crumpled mess on the floor in front of you. you reached out your hand and took his wand, disarming bellatrix, who began screaming.

the fight was short and unforgiving as the malfoys were throwing spells. draco was struggling to keep up with harry's quick movements and theo did not even make an attempt to stand up. instead he kept his eyes trained on you.

dobby appeared suddenly, calling you to him to bring you to safety, after he had let a chandelier fall onto bellatrix who had held a knife to hermione's throat.

you stepped forward once more, kneeling in front of theo, who looked up at you with curiosity, just hoping you would be taking him with you.

"i will never forgive you" you muttered instead and all hope left his face and heart. you healed the cut on his cheek with a move of his own wand. "you should've killed me and maybe i could've been able to"

you did not look back again as you ran across the room to your friends. you just left him there, on the ground in malfoy manor, as you took dobby's hand and followed your friends into the uncertain.

one heart shattering realisation left with you that day.

theo's gaze would haunt your nightmares. but the possibility of his death would haunt your dreams, as you could only forgive him if he didn't survive.

[lordpheles]

Chapter 153: Backstories galore...

IBLIS

She gave us quite the monologue. She talks about her obsession with beauty, perfection and the fear of growing old. Sounds like Hachiro, no? She takes us back in time to a classical Mayan civilization with temples like Chichen Itza.

She uses seduction to kill men, uses humans. For kicks in her human body she eventually conceives a child. What I find interesting, she appears to love the boy. They have good times by the looks of the imagery. But when the child gets old she is forced to kill him. Ibis acts like it doesn't effect her at all, but I don't believe it. Demons blow off their emotions, but maybe she killed him out of empathy for his pain? We honestly don't know the details.

She said he killed him because he was weak but I think it's a lie. I think she's sided with Lucifer to end all humans because she never got over the hurt of loving a human son and losing him. This is her way of avoiding the deep emotional pain of bonding with creatures that do not have an eternal life.

We do know that Iblis also has a fixation on Egyn. The little boy demon the never grows old, that sounds like baggage to me. He's like a surrogate son. Demons fear growing old and being in pain. But they also fear loss, and the loneliness of an eternal life.

It also begs the question, did Iblis have the kid naturally? She doesn't look pregnant in any of the images. The mystery of demon child conception continues...

Demons and Liu are afraid of senior citizens.

Iblis hates Lucy because she's old and wise, she's terrified of people growing old and terrified of the old. Lucy rattles her.

Liu is also rattled by Lucy. We get a flashback of his life and Lucy has been holding the seat of power from his family. They said she stole all the power and magical secrets from their clan, but I doubt that. I bet this was like the Shima family when the demon Yamataka unexpectantly chose Shima....demons have unique preferences of whom they choose to be in a contract with.

When you see the way the Liu clan was run, it's training was based on draconian demon hatred. Sort of the same mentality as young Shiro had. He didn't collaborate with demons and instead sought to destroy every, single one. It's sad really. The only friend Shiro had, and the only reason why Shiro lived into adulthood was because of Mephisto's help. Shiro relied on a demon.

The strongest exorcists get their power and assistance from a collaboration with demons. True intelligence is finding not just violent ways to vanquish the enemy but to see how the enemy ticks. To see if violence isn't always the answer. Demons, like humans are shaped by their experiences and bad experiences warp their worldview. Demons are such powerful creatures that act out their angst. Unfortunately humans tend to be the victims of that retaliation.

When Lucy finally dies (again), she jokes that Liu is too scared to take her place. And he is highly offended by this. Ibis might be afraid of Lucy, but Liu doesn't want to be lumped in with demons.

But he is scared.

Lucy is right.

She also gives him a bit of parting advice.

Even demons have dreams.

They are not as different from humans as we think they are.

This is all the arc knights. Lightning and Lucy openly acknowledge the importance of understanding demons, Angel is still in denial, but it's the truth.

We all know from the manga that collaboration with demons seems to be a better option for a strong exorcist. The strongest exorcists do not see demon relationships as black and white, but more like situationships with a variety of subtexts.

Once Lucy dies, Liu doesn't believe anything she's said and charges into battle to destroy the torch. It looks like he was successful, but we will need to wait until the next chapter to find out. I bet there is a surprise waiting for him that he didn't consider.

[thebestsetter]

The emperor's bad luck

An: This is actually my first fic! Also, english isn't my first language, so I'm sorry for any spelling mistakes! I just read Kaiser's backstory and got really sad. HE'S JUST A BABY 😭😭

Michael Kaiser has never been a lucky guy. And I'm not talking about that kind of luck of finding a penny on the floor or getting a question right even though you don't know the answer. I'm talking about a luck that is harder to be found nowadays: the luck to be born with a great family, with loving parents and awesome siblings. The kind of family that you see on magazine covers or billboards, smiling and having fun together, looking like they've never had a bad time.

His mother left him when he was just a baby. A Hollywood actress who has probably already acted as a mother in a movie, although not in real life with her own son: ironic, isn't it? She looked like an angel, with pretty blond hair and beautiful blue eyes, but her looks didn't reflect her personality: a cunning and clever woman.

So, she came up with a plan to make her fame grow: she laid down with a movie director. After she became more famous, she left the man all alone. Well, maybe not ALL alone. She left him with their son: Michael Kaiser. But the man didn't appreciate it and often abused Kaiser. For every mistake Michael made, he hit and tortured the poor boy. When Kaiser was barely 8, his father started sending him to the streets to steal food and other things, since the man couldn't really work because he began drinking (he also didn't want to work, and sending his kid to steal things was a lot easier).

- Now go, Kaiser! - the man said while waving a broken beer bottle in the air - and don't come back without that milk you forgot last time, or else I won't be as gentle with your punishment.

Michael grabbed the backpack his father handed him and ran out of his "home", not wanting to spend another second with that man.

"They found out I stole from that shop" Kaiser thought while looking at the shop he stole from the last time he went on his 'robbery spree' "so I have to find another one".

He then began walking across the neighbourhood trying to find somewhere to steal from. The blond boy came across a new shop he had never seen before: it was a small shop with red colored walls. The german child decided that was the one he was going to rob. Passing his small hands through the shelves full of things he couldn't even think of buying, Kaiser shoved the important things down his bag, such as eggs, butter and other things. He then came across the dairy session. Reaching for the milk, Michael quickly grabbed it and hid it into his bag, wanting to get out of there before he got caught, when suddenly he heard a gasp coming from behind him.

- Are you stealing milk? - a (h/c)nette girl said, startling Kaiser and causing him to drop the bag from his hands, making all the items of his backpack spread across the floor. Scared, he began to pick his things and stuff them back on the bag - hey, what are you doing? COME BACK HERE!

The girl began to chase him around the store while begging him to stop running. After some time, she finally caught up with him.

- I-I'm sorry - he said, panting - p-please don't turn me in! I need to steal to s-survive. My father doesn't work and my mother left me with him. I'm sorry, but I need this things!

- Don't worry, I won't report you! - she said, smiling - my father is the owner of the shop. I can give you some cookies and snacks to go and won't turn you in, but with one condition: you need to answer the question I wanted to ask you when I saw you stealing the milk.

- O-okay - he said in a calmer tone - what is it?

- Do you wanna be my friend? - she asked, her toothy grin appearing and almost blinding Kaiser because of how big and bright it was

- W-what? - he asked, making the girl repeat herself - sure, I guess…

- GREAT! You're my friend now! Come on, I'm gonna give you something to eat.

The girl gave Michael some snacks (without her father seeing them, of course) from that shelves that had things he thought he'd never get to eat and went to the door of the store to say goodbye to him.

- Bye hm… - she began, then gasped - You're my friend, but I don't know your name!

- I'm Michael Kaiser - he said, clearly a lot more confident around the girl, but still a little weary

- I'm (Name) (Last name) - she smiled, glad that she made a new friend - bye, Michael! Come here tomorrow again so we can play!

- (NAME)! COME HELP ME OUT IN THE SHOP! - they heard her father yell

- COMING - the girl shouted and waved goodbye to Kaiser for the last time before disappearing inside her family's shop.

Althought Kaiser was a guy that didn't have a great luck, he considered himself lucky for finding her: his first friend ever since he was born. And for the first time in a few years, Kaiser went to sleep with a full stomach and a happy mind, with a new found hope in his soul: a hope for a better future, with friends like (Name) (or maybe even her, if his luck suddenly decided to change) at his side.

[sickvictorianangel]

My "hot takes" about RDR2:

All the characters are well written, complex and well played. But that doesn't mean I need to like every one of them or defend them.

We all love John because of own bias (thanks to RDR1). His only redeemable point is after the end of the Epilogue. This man was irresponsible, a deadbeat, didn't listen to Abigail even at the end and caused his own death, leaving Abigail and Jack alone.

Abigail, Mary-Beth, Karen, Tilly and Sadie are the best women in the whole game and I will always stand up for them. Abigail fought for her son with teeth and nails, she always did her best for the ones she loved. Mary-Beth, Karen and Tilly were soulmates, who always defended each other and had each other's back all the time. They stood up for themselves many many times and were a girls girl. Being there for Abigail all the time when Jack was kidnapped and trying to pull Karen out of the hole she was burying herself. And of course, Sadie was a strong woman. She didn't just devote herself to avenge her late husband, but she devoted her time to stand up and move on. She was loyal to Arthur and such a good friend to Abigail, John and Charles. Her loyalty carried the love she felt even when the people she loved died.

Which also brings me to: I will always defend Molly! She abandoned everything she was and had for a narcissist that stole her youth and will to live. She tried to salvage her broken "relationship" in every way she could, always receiving the bad hand of Dutch's attitude. In the end, dying trying to show her feelings that were constantly dismissed. Molly deserved better.

Susan Grimshaw wasn't a bad woman, she lived for the well being of the gang and loyalty to Dutch. She was hard and cold, but because she learned that was the only way for survival. She died being loyal to the Van Der Linde gang. She died siding with Arthur and John.

Reverend Swanson was a sick man. Addiction is a disease! I will always love that man and defend him. And in the end, he also reached his redemption.

Hosea was the glue that kept everyone together, the gang only existed for so long and succeeded because of him. Until Dutch's ego talked louder and louder, putting everyone in such a fragile position that ended up taking his own life.

No, Dutch didn't get crazy. Dutch was always a narcissist and didn't want to carry the responsibility of his actions, always blaming everyone and pointing fingers around trying to frame someone for the downfall of the gang. For him to be happy and satisfied, you had to side with him and his decision no matter how crazy they were. Micah was just a mirror for his own actions to come to life. Making Arthur and John question if that was a "new Dutch" or if he was already like that. And don't make me even talk about how this man became a whole rap!st in RDR1.

Mary is a complex character and necessary for Arthur's growth. But, Mary is just a rich woman from the 1800s. The way she treated the other girls from the gang with such disdain, treating them like they were inferior? Fuck you, girl. She was always a red flag for me for the simple fact that Karen, Mary-Beth and Tilly didn't like her at all. Only Abigail talking positive about her once. And no, I don't care that she "used Arthur" lmao That part is extremely important to Arthur's path of redemption, so get over that already (to all the annoying men in the fandom).

Charles, Lenny and Kieran are literal angels. Victims of their circumstances but acted with honor till the end of everything. Always ready to help. I've never seen these boys harassing anyone.

Javier was blind loyal, his ideals weren't real and depended on Dutch's empty words to hold it. When everything fell apart, Javier became the opposite of what he preached so much.

Bill was never a good person. Bill was a big drunk bully. He was always a coward, even before RDR1. His loyalty was with some of the members of the gang (as long as they were white... Tilly got his ass during the stagecoach mission and I love that).

Arthur is one of the best written characters I've ever seen. We see someone who was hurt since a child, who was forced to become a "hard man" by every person in his life. He was made to believe by everyone that he was just a strong and ugly motherfucker, whose only use was to do someone's dirty work. But in reality, he was soft. Arthur was an artist, and the people that actually knew that soft side of him, knew how reliable he was. His redemption story is actually beautiful. Arthur is the base of the gang and the pivotal point in the story. His actions and sacrifice started a butterfly effect so strong that it change the course of everyone's life.

And to end this huge mountain of nothing lol I just wanna say that those are MY OWN OPINIONS. I love that game so much and I hope we can see even more of the whole gang and other characters some day again.

[thephantomcasebook]

I'm not a book reader, but I've been intrigued by the theory that Alys Rivers uses the faces of men's true loves to hypnotize them and get into their heads. As you mentioned It's a popular idea from the books that could potentially be adapted into the show. In the show, it's suggested that Alys is 400 years old.

As you're are more familiar with the books, can you explain what Alys does there? Did she ever take on Helaena's form? I'm also curious about the Alys and Aemond relationship. Some fans, especially "Alysmond" shippers, argue that their relationship is consensual and that Aemond genuinely falls for her, even suggesting that they have a love child. However, I'm struggling to understand how a man who burns her house and spares her only to make her his bedmaid can be considered to have a consensual romance between them. Can you please help clarify this dynamic for me?

Umm ...

It's tricky, cause, there's a shit ton of theories out of and in universe about who and what Alys Rivers is.

No one really know in universe where she came from or who she is. She's just always been there. Some people think that she's Harwin and Lary's bastard sister. Other people think that she was their wet nurse. Other people can't remember a time that she wasn't at Harrenhal. She is enchanting and beautiful ... or so she seems to the men she targets.

She's tried to seduce Daemon, Criston, and Aemond in "Fire and Blood". In terms of Daemon and Criston, they rejected Alys advances, and went rushing back to their beloveds - Rhaenyra and Alicent. Criston dies shortly after rejecting Alys, in a desperate suicide rush to rescue Alicent. And Daemon dies at Harrenhal after having a confrontation with Aemond and Alys before his fatal duel with Aemond over the Gods Eye.

The book doesn't go into detail exactly about how Alys seduced Aemond or by what means she did it. But it is accounted as strange and really out of character for Aemond (in universe). After making Alys his submissive bed slave after taking Harrenhal, Aemond starts acting weird and psychotic. Then, he basically desserts the Greens and the War, leaving both Criston and Daeron high and dry. Aemond decides not to rescue Alicent and Helaena like Criston is desperately urging him to. Instead, Aemond decided to take Harrenhal for himself and basically become a sort of defacto king/warlord.

So, Criston abandons Aemond and Alys to take what men they have left to go and try and rescue Alicent. Meanwhile, Aemond and Alys begin a destructive and devastating reign of terror through the Riverlands, buring alive any Blacks in their castles and keeps. Making Daeron and Criston, basically, the last men standing for the Greens. And when Criston is killed, it all falls on Daeron as the last of the Greens. And my boy, Daeron, becomes MVP of the Dance - he just wants his mommy back!

The theory is that Alys sees Aemond in the same light as Melisandre sees Stannis and Jon Snow. There's some sort of bigger destiny or importance to Aemond's blood and legacy that Alys takes upon herself to preserve by having his son.

The most popular theory is that Alys and Aemond are the direct ancestors of Catelyn and it's through the wedding of Ned and Catelyn, the blood of Wargs and dragons, that gives Bran his ultra Three Eyed Raven powers.

There's actually no scenes of Aemond and Helaena ever interacting, despite them dying the same day, with Helaena killing herself the very evening that Aemond is killed. Also there's the strange coincidence of the fact that their two dragons die in a similar way. With Vhagar dying from a large fall and Dreamfyre dying from being pierced in the eye.

But the idea of Alys seducing men by using the faces of the women they love or taking on their attributes comes from both Daemon and Criston's interactions with her in the book, and how both were inspired to go back to Rhaenyra and Alicent quickly after rejecting her. And with Daemon's vision in 2x03, it seems to be a proven theory.

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Full article: here.

This connects with the Elrond = Sauron theory, here and here.

Melian of the Valar and Anger Issues:

In his interview to Decider, explaining the kiss, Robert Aramayo also talks about this:

Specifically, Adar namedrops Melian, one of Elrond’s most important ancestors. Aramayo explained how hearing this father of the orcs talk so intimately about Melian was meant to perfectly unsettle the young(er) elf. “It shows a real deep understanding for the history of Middle-Earth. You know, there’s something about Melian, isn’t there? The ‘Girdle of Melian,’ the sort of the protective sphere that she [creates], the power of her, and what she sort of represents in the lore and stuff,” Aramayo said. “So it’s impressive that he would bring it up in that moment.”

Why is this strange? Firstly, Elrond and his future daughter Arwen never get compared to Melian herself in the lore, but rather to her Half-Maia daughter, Lúthien (Arwen is pretty much described as “Lúthien 2.0.”, and even her love story with Aragorn is Lúthien x Beren, part 2).

According to Rob, the mention of Melian by Adar is what triggers his anger, and what causes Elrond to act OOC in that scene. Which doesn't make any sense, because Elrond would be proud and honored by such a comparison, actually (and it has nothing to do with his beauty).

The only character who would get this triggered by the mention of Melian is Sauron himself, because:

1) His fellow Maia was a thorn in his side (and Morgoth's) for pretty much the entire First Age and the War of Wrath;

Beyond lay the wilderness of Dungortheb, where the sorcery of Sauron and the power of Melian came together, and horror and madness walked. Of Beren and Lúthien, Part I

2) Melian's daughter (Lúthien) was responsible for Sauron's most humiliating and spectacular defeat by bringing Huan (the Hound of Valinor), with her to Tol-in-Gaurhoth (Isle of Werewolves, where Finrod, Galadriel's brother, died protecting Beren from the werewolves). This is when Sauron shapeshifts into a giant werewolf to fight Huan, and gets defeated.

Halbrand/Mairon: Whose dagger was it, Galadriel? Who is it you lost? Galadriel: My brother. Halbrand/Mairon: What happened to him? Galadriel: He was killed. In a place of darkness and despair [Tol-in-Gaurhoth]. By servants of Sauron [werewolves]. Is that enough for you? Galadriel tells Halbrand about her brother’s, Finrod, death, 1x05 

(Sorry not sorry, I had to). 

In the lore, Sauron disappears for a very long time after this defeat, and “Rings of Power” already mentioned how he was tortured beyond belief by Morgoth (this implies that, after losing a strategic stronghold to “a girl and her dog”, Sauron most likely was imprisoned and tortured by Morgoth somewhere). 

Lúthien/Beren parallel:

The "tent/kiss scene" itself, in 2x07, is a parallel to Beren and Lúthien, and the quest to retrieve one Silmaril from Morgoth’s crown, which would lead to their fight with Sauron (and Finrod’s death later on):

But Thingol looked in silence upon Lúthien; and he thought in his heart: 'Unhappy Men, children of little lords and brief kings, shall such as these lay hands on you, and yet live?' Then breaking the silence he said: 'I see the ring, son of Barahir, and I perceive that you are proud, and deem yourself mighty. But a father's deeds, even had his service been rendered to me, avail not to win the the daughter of Thingol and Melian. See now! I too desire a treasure that is withheld. For rock and steel and the fires of Morgoth keep the jewel that I would possess against all the powers of the Elf-kingdoms. Yet I hear you say that bonds such as these do not daunt you. Go your way therefore! Bring to me in your hand a Silmaril from Morgoth's crown; and then, if she will, Lúthien may set her hand in yours. Then you shall have my jewel; and though the fate of Arda lie within the Silmarils, yet you shall hold me generous.' Thus he wrought the doom of Doriath, and was ensnared within the curse of Mandos. And those that heard these words perceived that Thingol would save his oath, and yet send Beren to his death; for they know that not all the power of the Noldor, before the Siege was broken, had availed even to see from afar the shining Silmarils of Fëanor. For they were set in the Iron Crown, and treasured in Angband above all wealth; and Balrogs were about them, and countless swords, and strong bars, and unassailable walls, and the dark majesty of Morgoth. But Beren laughed. 'For little price,' he said, 'do Elven-kings sell their daughters: for gems, and things made by craft. But if this be your will, Thingol, I will perform it. And when we meet again my hand shall hold a Silmaril from the Iron Crown; for you have not looked the last upon Beren son of Barahir.' Then he looked in the eyes of Melian, who spoke not; and he bade farewell to Lúthien Tinuviel, and bowing before Thingol and Melian he put aside the guards about him, and departed from Menegroth alone. Of Beren and Lúthien, Part I

Here, "Thingol" is Adar, who presents "Elrond" (Beren) with the choice of handing over the Silmaril (Nenya) in exchange for Lúthien (Galadriel): "The Ring for Galadriel's life. What is it to be?"

Which means, the comparison with Melian is odd ("You [Elrond] have the beauty of your foremother, Melian of the Valar"), because there is no direct parallel between Elrond/Melian happening here.

Then, why is Elrond parallelling Beren in this scene? He’s a Half-Elf who decided to retain his immortality (Half-Elves get to do that, and that’s why Arwen chooses mortality to be with Aragorn). He’s not a mortal man like Beren, nor is he in love with an she-Elf of legendary beauty and power.

There is another character who can make sense in this context, and that’s Halbrand (Sauron’s human form). Mostly now that the executive producers of the show, Charlotte Brändström, revealed that Galadriel was in love with Halbrand (direct parallel with Lúthien x Beren).  

Morgoth’s crown is also nearby (we know that Adar not only has it, but actually show it to Galadriel in this very tent, in 2x06), and the Balrog is also there (at the mines of Moria, in Khazad-dûm).

Interestingly enough, Sauron is the one who mentions Beren in Season 2 of “Rings of Power” (and he must have been dying inside talking about it): 

Yes. You are right. Of course. Men are capable of great frailty. But when the darkness falls, there are always some who rise forth and shine. Eärendil, Tuor, Beren, son of Barahir. Sauron/Annatar tries to persuade Celebrimbor to forge the Nine rings of power, 2x05

And the plot thickens because Eärendil is Elrond’s father, and son of Tuor (Elrond’s grandfather who married Elwing, Lúthien and Beren’s granddaughter). “Rings of Power” Season 2 pretty much went through all of Elrond’s genealogy, in scenes with Sauron and Adar.

After Beren and Lúthien rescued a Silmaril from Morgoth's Iron Crown, this was later given to their descendant Elwing, wife of Eärendil. Both took it to Aman, and the Valar decided to rise it as a new star. In a vessel appointed by Elbereth, Eärendil rose in the horizon as a sign of hope for Elves and Men. And this is the light that shines in both Galadriel’s mirror and the Phial of Galadriel (which she gives to Frodo to help him in his quest to destroy the One Ring = Sauron).

And to further strength the parallel between Nenya/Silmaril in the “tent scene” of 2x07, the fate of Fëanor’s Silmarils is also connected to the Three Elven rings of power: 

“Fire” = Maedhros threw himself into a fissure of fire in the earth, carrying his Silmaril with him. “Narya” is the “Ring of Fire”, and its current ring-bearer is Círdan (but it will pass onto Gandalf, later). 

“Air”: connects to Eärendil becoming a star in the skies. “Vilya” is the “Ring of Air”, and even though, his current ring-bearer is Gil-galad, it will belong to Eärendil’s heir: Elrond.

“Water”. Maglor casted his Silmaril into the sea, and wandered along the shores of the world singing laments over the loss of the Silmaril. “Nenya” is the “Ring of Water”, and will be forever held by Galadriel, herself. In time, she’ll, too, suffer with “sea longing” (which many assume it’s only the desire to return to Valinor, but there might be more to it). Like Maglor, she’s also known for singing laments (“Namárië”, also called “Galadriel's Lament”).

In “Rings of Power”, Galadriel met Halbrand (the “mortal man” she fell in love with) in the middle of the sea.

[bonefall]

May i ask why do you think that Brambleclaw wasn't a good father? not saying i disagree if that is what you think, but why do you? just wondering because i like what you say

Again I hope to have time sometime soon to make a big thing like I did with Breeze, but what gets me about Bramble is that incredibly self-concerned. Like, regularly unable to see past his own feelings to the point where he can't consider his effect on other people.

And Po3 in particular is ALSO trying to frame him like the perfect, most amazing dad in the world. It's for the dramatic irony of the reveal, and to make it EXTRA sad that he's going to abandon his children when he finds out they're adopted... but in the process, they just ignore anything crummy he does. Like he can Do No Wrong.

Particular instances I plan to get into;

When he's angry or disappointed, he's NASTY. He isn't this "super supportive papa" that the Three keep saying he is; he's most supportive when they're making him proud.

He fails to notice that Lionpaw's behavior is getting increasingly violent as a result of his mentor physically abusing him. Is that "Great Dad" material? To not notice your son is struggling?

We eventually learn that Ashfur approached him after one of these savage beatings to butter up to Brambleclaw, insisting that this sort of physical abuse is neccesary because it will give him a strong son.

Stress that again; Ashfur appealed to Brambleclaw's ego so he could keep beating his teenage child. In what world is that "Great Dad" material??

When Hollypaw then tries to tell her dad about how uncomfortable seeing her brother being savaged made her, Bramble tells her... ohh she's So smart, and So so responsible, and he relies on her to keep her brothers in line, and what Ashfur is doing is neccesary.

In any other book series, this would have been a MASSIVE condemnation of Brambleclaw. To be manipulated into allowing his son to get beat, and then turning around to tell his daughter he trusts her to understand it because she's so mature.

But because the Erins like Bramble so very much, it's not acknowledged. Then Ashfur tries to murder these kids later.

And like... again, they want him to be seen as so wonderful and amazing so that it's extra painful when he disowns these kids, but AGAIN, Brambleclaw is supposed to be this incredibly loving, unconditionally loyal, amazingly responsible father...

So how exactly is THAT consistent with abandoning his kids during the most upsetting time of their lives?

Does a wonderful father get consumed by his own pain and humiliation and cut off his kids, one of whom is in the middle of a breakdown? Does he take out his divorce on the children? Is being a "wonderful father" seeing the son you let get abused looking at you, DESPERATELY missing you as his dad, and just turning away?

Or, maybe, being a parent is about being mature. Putting aside your own personal anger or pain or ego to be there for your kids. Something like that???

And yet, he continues to act like that for an entire year. Not improving or self-reflecting at ALL the entire time. When it's miraculously revealed that Hollyleaf isn't DEAD, he's STILL wallowing. The kid he raised came back from the dead but FUCK that, who cares, "what about MY feelings?? Why is no one thinking about whats really important. Meeee."

(Mind you, he was willing to help this same person get away with murder in the last arc. But back then, she was his daughter. Now he doesn't care.)

Eventually SQUIRRELFLIGHT has to tell him that he shouldn't throw away his entire family because he's mad at her. Someone ELSE had to shout it down his thick skull that his bitterness is consuming him and he's ruining his life. Even after a year of punishment, she holds his hand like a big baby and guides him away from his OWN destructive behaviors.

But this isn't about Squilf. This is about Brambleclaw.

He enabled his son's child abuse. The abuser went on to attempt murder of his victim. He IMMEDIATELY turned on the kids he raised when he found out they were secretly adopted, because he was angry at his ex-wife. He only changed because the EX-WIFE told him to cut it out.

That's why I think he's not a great dad. I think talk of his Greatly Dadness are narration wank, and when you look closer, you see a FASCINATINGLY flawed character that the Erins hold back out of WEIRD writer favoritism.

[kerubimcrepin]

LIVEBLOG: Wakfu Season 4, Episodes 5-6

I ♥ REUSED AUX TRESORS ASSETS

banging my fists and crying inconsolably because "i was adopted and i found my real family and realized that my adopted family is my real home" trope is so important to me. to me.

Oh, right, it is his first time seeing mass death, especially in his hometown. I forgor.

I think that one of the other red flags of Eliatrope, besides her shutting Qilby and Yugo up from speaking ill about one another until they enter a physical altrecation — is that she and Nora have an agreement not to speak about this... Eliatrope isn't the only one who suffered, but, of course, Nora is not to mention even her dead twin brother, is she?

I understand why her reaction to them, knowing their abilities, is to flee, esp given the fact that, for a very long time, all Eliatropes did was flee.

I guess by now, it's kind of the first action they consider.

Episode 6

Yeah, looking cool is a part of his motivation, but the fact that they're talking about him doing this in the context of what necromes are, and the fact that people might die if he doesn't help "save the day" is such a red flag.

Their family is so loving and healthy haha <3

[guy who got into Kerubim and Joris's relationship because of mommy issues voice] ah the classic "i need you to be act like a parent and do parenting" "i am too mentally ill to do that and it hurts me that you're asking me to do this just because im your parent" conflict. We've all been through that one.

Nora, babygirl, you deserve so much better than this... leave her....

I think Nora understands this pretty well. Way to rub the salt in, man.

Like mother, like son <3

[judasgot-it]

Hi! Could I request ADA members with a s/o who stopped paying them so much attention because they decided that Kenji is their child now and that they'll protect him and show him tons of love? (Not sure if it's understandable so - s/o is playing with Kenji instead of spending time with (character))

I hope I got it right lol please beat me if I did

ADA members with a s/o who 'parents' Kenji (Atsushi, Dazai, Yosano, Ranpo)

Atsushi

You don't work at the ADA and being friends with the members is important to Atsushi considering they're his only family

So seeing you get along so well Kenji makes him happy - he sees him as a brother in some ways

But having him encroach on his time with you has made him a little jealous - he's working on it, but you come to the ADA to visit him not Kenji

So seeing how much time Kenji takes up? A little difficult to take up

You even say "where's my boy?" when referring to him

Excuse you? He's your boy

The orphanage did not help him when it came to relationship stuff like this. He is a little needy for your time - sue him, he just wants to be with his s/o

Will try to now avoid having the two of you meet up at the ADA or meet his coworkers so he can get as much time with you as possible (it doesn't work. they always find him.)

Dazai

He thought it was great at first

Tried to tease Kenji by pretending to be his dad

Would annoy Kunikida too

"Oh, sorry, my son needs help, I can't do paperwork right now. Maybe next time!"

Since you and Kenji are so close he'll try to make him do tasks he doesn't want to do - if Kenji is coming over then he will make that poor boy do any sort of housework he was too lazy to do

He is annoyed though when he has to act PG-13 around him because you would beat him otherwise

You also let him join your lunch dates occasionally along with Kyouka - it's just downstairs, why would you force those kids to pay for their meals?

You take them around the city too - Dazai is of course forced to join you

No point in arguing, he's basically forced to act like their dad for the day

At least he gets compliments for it

Yosano

She's really fond of Kenji - he's a sweetheart, an angel

So I feel like she would be pretty ok with being more friendly with him

Convinced you would hangout with Kenji when she's doing her "operations" since they might take a while

He would get you two to go on fun dates though - probably some cottage core stuff like picking fruit trees

It's mostly those two doing the picking while you come over and bring them water and snacks

She doesn't have the heart to be jealous about you giving a lot of time to Kenji

But she is very honest with her feelings if she starts to feel left out

She loves Kenji but she has her limits too

Ranpo

He definitely plays along with it

The man is childish as hell but I don't think he would get upset at something like this

If anything it's the perfect time to but into the situation and be annoying

He drags Kenji into pretending to be 10 and going to stores with the two of you so you can get good deals or free snacks (they're all for him)

It does lead to Kenji following him into his lunch dates with you though, which he hates because he can't ever let Kenji pay for himself since he's so young (childhood trauma is real)

He definitely plays up being a "fun dad" around him and Kyouka, especially when you're around

Convinced he's relieving the time he had with his parents before they died, so that's part of why he enjoys it so much

I'd do more but these guys are probably the most interesting for the prompt tbh !?

[itsalwaysalmostchristmas]

Rework of Viconia Devir

So, I had been working on two different ideas: How to rework Viconia where her whole story arc from the previous games doesn't get shat on and how to make the Tadpole Troupe more diverse.

I don't know why the thought came to me but it did: Shadowheart should've (or I think it would've been fun) been Viconia's daughter.

Please hear me out!

If you don't know, Viconia has literally the worse luck in the world it seems, like read her wiki page history I'm sure that's just then tip of the iceberg.

When travelling with Gorion's Ward she is a cleric of Shar, and if not romanced, after their adventures she goes to Waterdeep to run an enclave there, which Viconia in BG3 does tell us:

[Viconia DeVir: I had an enclave in Waterdeep, you know. Much grander than this. Shar ordered me to raze it, kill all who followed me - claim they betrayed me, when in fact I slew those who showed nothing but loyalty.]

I really think Viconia remaining with Shar sucks major balls. Literally, she goes on to be a hero in her own right in her epilogue:

[No longer with Protagonist, Viconia went on to found a cult dedicated to Shar in the city of Waterdeep. One of her followers betrayed her, however, prompting the slaughter of the whole tainted lot. Shar admonished Viconia strongly for this, but she was unrepentant and again wandered the Realms. Viconia was still formidable, and went on to prevent an attempt by the Knights of the Shield to take over Calimport, even worked with Drizzt Do'Urden to save the elven city of Suldanessalar from a Zhentarim plot. For this last act, the elves accepted her, and Queen Ellesime bestowed the highest honors of the Seldarine, an accolade never before given to one of her dark kind. Viconia reportedly bowed without emotion, and then left. Her fate remains unknown.]

Does that sound like someone who would continue to follow Shar?? My gal work with Drizzt Do'Urden! Saved at least two cities! Bestowed the highest award that no drow had ever received!?

Seriously, to me Viconia DeVir and Mother Superior are two completely different characters.

So, how does this work out for her to be Shadowheart's mother? I've got two alternatives that I could see the story using both at the same time, which they do with Gorion's Ward and Abdel Adrian.

Option 1: Viconia had a relationship with a human Selûnite

It could've been in Viconia's wanderings she save a town/village and a human took a keen liking to her. Either a fling or a genuine relationship, Viconia ends up pregnant and out shoots Jenevelle. You could still have it that her dad was a werewolf, but because he's human the years of torture on that torture disk thing caused him to perish.

(whatever that thing is)

Option 2: Shadowheart is the daughter of Viconia and Gorion's Ward

So, in Viconia's romanced ending she has a son with Gorion's Ward and fucking dies.

[Protagonist and Viconia continued adventuring long after leaving Tethyr. He became an important political figure, and she was his trusted counsel. Eventually Viconia bore Protagonist's child, which first served to strain their relationship. The birth, however, changed her, and she dedicated herself to raising the boy, teaching both the ways of the drow and of Protagonist's people. She marvelled at the understanding in his eyes, but unfortunately, didn't live to see him grow. Viconia was poisoned by a servant of Lolth, her last words whispered to her loving mate in private. Protagonist raised his son in secret, and tales vary on the result. Some say they waged a crusade against the drow, but all agree that the former child of Bhaal never forgot the love of his dark maiden.]

Obviously this isn't canon anymore, I guess? But, we've seen in the game Larian picks and chooses bits n pieces from the source material. I also don't like how Gorion's Ward isn't mentioned too much, I did hear that apparently Tav was meant to be a child of Gorion's Ward before it got scrapped and I do like the idea of descentants being part of the party.

If they had chosen this route of Shadowheart being Gorion's Ward and Viconia's child they could twist it in a few ways:

Viconia and Gorion's Ward did have a son but he was killed by Lolth servants rather than Viconia, making Shadowheart their second child.

Viconia and Gorion's Ward did have a son and they had Shadowheart as well but Gorion's Ward was killed by Lolth servants rather than Viconia, making the son still alive.

They never had a son, Lolth servant still kills Gorion's Ward

They never had a son, no Lolth servant kills anyone but Gorion's Ward still dies before we see Viconia again because people would not like a retconned CHARNAME we hate you abdel adrian fuck you

I think option 3 or 4 would make more sense game wise because you could still be vague on whether or not Shadowheart's other parent was Gorion's Ward, that way the player can decide based on who they romanced in their playthroughs. I do like option 2, either the brother could've spent all these years looking for his mother and sister and trying to save them or on the torture disk with his mother.

Also I don't think Viconia would become a Selûnite herself, honestly. I feel like two goddess' fucking you over would put you off worshipping another. However, I could see her wanting the best for her children, it says so in her epilogue she is a dedicated mother and I could imagine her wanting to set her child on the right path, some insecurity of poisoning her child's chance of a good life by being their mother.

I've said this in a post before but I genuinely didn't realise that Shadowheart's dad was a werewolf until I read it in a wiki article. I thought it was a manipulated memory and her dad (who we could switch out for Viconia) was illusion or replaced by a wolf to instil a fear in Shadowheart and make it seem like Mother Superior had saved her.

And, could you imagine the scene! You've defeated Mother Superior and her enclave, you got to where Shadowheart's parents are, with Minisc and Jaheira in your party, and hanging limp on the torture disk thing is the familiar face of Viconia DeVir.

Also Viconia's child being a target of Shar feels more possible than some random Selûnite couple. Honestly, you could take the whole Selûnite bit out. Could you imagine how pissed a god, especially one like Shar, would be if someone who had just killed a whole enclave of followers just shrugged of being scorned by you? Wouldn't you want to make them suffer for years? Make them remember what kind of god you are?

Anyways, here's half-drow Shadowheart!

(please excuse spelling mistakes and grammar I'm dyslexic)

[ride-thedragon]

Nettles, Rhaenyra, Laena, Mysaria, and the Prize that is DAEMON TARGARYEN

Now, I'm not going to sit here and police shipping. I'm also not going to act as though better writers and thinkers long before me haven't talked about the same phenomenon of centring men in women's narratives as a way to value the women. However, as a person in this fandom, I do want to apply this thought to the shipping discourse of Daemon Targaryen because it has become exhausted.

We treat this man as though he's the prize to gain when these women are in relationships with him. In the sense that when Daemon picks these women to have a relationship with they gain a value and devalue the women he leaves behind. We see this with him going:

from Rhea and Mysaria to Laena.

He finally has a Valyrian bride who matches his spirit and can give him Valyrian children. They get along and are of equal standing.

From Laena to Rhaenyra.

He moves on, finds real happiness, finds his true family, becomes the Targaryen he was destined to be with his Targaryen bride at his side, and their Targaryen children with his real family

From Rhaenyra to Mysaria .

Rhaenyra became mournful and wasn't as she once was. Him and Mysaria just have this connection, and Rhaenyra approves.

From Rhaenyra and Mysaria to Nettles.

Daemon finally found someone he could look past himself for. The singers say they end up together. He does all of this and leaves the Rhaenyra to her death because Nettles left. He's finally ready to settle down and grow old. She saved him.

All of this is an overgeneralised hyperbole of conversations I've seen, but they always centre Daemon choosing these women to be in a relationship with as their biggest accomplishment in the narrative. Him at their side is the biggest deal, and when he leaves them, they are discarded and replaced by his new love interest.

The issue with this

Prioritising a man, this man, as the main factor in these relationships, discredit the women who exist outside of him and make it seem as though he's the only thing that adds value to them. The language being used, in short, dismisses their personhood and equates them to something he can own, discard and replace at whim, and he alone adds value to them. It's icky language especially with his game card.

Lady Rhea: wasn't even her choice. She hated him and refused to give him an heir to inherit Runestone. In the show, she makes sure he returns and kills her by insulting his sexual prowess.

Mysaria: is complicit and involved in his worst action but always ensures she pulls herself up with it. Being his courtesan made her wealthy, almost made her his wife. Then she's complicit in blood and cheese and gets herself promoted to the Lady of Whispers to the Queen, eventually putting an end to him.

Laena: CLAIMED THE LARGEST DRAGON IN THE WORLD AS A TEEN. Is quite literally the mother of the girls that survived the Dance. Her blood inherits her house's seat.

Rhaenyra: Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Had men avenge her death, and her son sat on the iron throne after her.

Nettles: created the religion that forged the most dangerous tribe in the Vale of Arryn. Claimed a wild dragon and committed alleged treason and escaped.

I'm not saying Daemon isn't important. I'm not saying he doesn't play a part. I'm saying that when we have these conversations about him and these women and the progression of his relationships with them, I hope we can reach a place where the idea that he leaves them isn't a jab or joke against one woman for the sake of the one he chooses. It's getting strange.

Women don't lose value because of a man. Ever.

This also applies to Baela and her adaptation in the show. She isn't uninteresting because she isn't a tomboy or like Daemon. They make her a political girl in the show and like Laena. That's not a loss. She's modelled after Rhaenys as well. She's just reflective of the women in her life. I'm sure she'll have a relationship to Daemon as well, but she's the Ward of Driftmark. That's quite interesting. We also have tomboys like Alysanne and Sabitha, so we aren't in a deficit by any means.