#[i'm very tired so i apologize if there's words missing; that happens to me sometimes (often)]

[counterpoiise]

Headcanon: I see a lot of takes on Ethan’s losing his eye moment where people portray it as extremely physically painful and violent, and I understand why… but I disagree with it. Here’s my thinking: My non-diegetic reasoning is that it just doesn’t fit with the universe that Riordan has written for it to be anything that gory. And I totally understand fan interpretations deciding to dial up the tension/horror/grim realism that comes with adventure fiction (I am a major horror fan myself!), but it isn’t necessarily something I personally enjoy or seek out in this specific story/world, since I like how goofy the book universe can be sometimes. I enjoy that we get a nice blend between heartfelt, earnest moments, moments of extreme tension, and tone-lightening comedic beats. So, for my own Ethan, I’ll stick to that tone. Further, my diegetic reasoning for why it probably didn’t hurt is that we see how gods make deals with demigods multiple times throughout the series, and most of them are very similar. It’s extremely easy for gods to simply, literally, snap their fingers and enact their side of the bargain. So, I headcanon that that’s exactly what happened: Nemesis snapped her fingers, and Ethan was down an eye, but had sealed a hero's destiny for himself. Also, an important thing to keep in mind here is that if it were something as quick as a snap, that does not in the slightest take away its narrative weight— and in fact, I would even go as far as to argue that it enhances it. It was easy for Nemesis to snap her fingers and take his eye (reinforcing the power disparity between gods and demigods, a common theme in the books). But it was a permanent, instantaneous change for Ethan that he can never, ever reverse. That’s exactly what making a decision can be like. Ethan made his decision, and so it was set in stone. It was fated. It was important. And, quick as it may have been in my Ethan’s canon, it likewise doesn’t erase any trauma it may have created (although I actually don’t think this was even like. Top three most traumatic things he experienced, and I don’t write him as feeling like it was) for him. Ethan’s trauma isn’t defined by one or two single moments; it’s defined by repeated scorning by the gods and by camp, and by Kronos. The most traumatic part of losing his eye was not the moment it was taken— it was in the aftermath. The natural regret of such a life-changing decision; the natural difficulty to adapt as quickly as the incident that caused the need to adapt happened. Often, moments that split our lives into two (“before” and “after”) are much, much quicker than we expect them to be. And the lasting effects are, inversely, much, much longer than we want. For me, when I write Ethan, the real pain of losing his eye was in the guilt that he felt when he regretted it in the early days. It was in the countless hours spent training to compensate for his blind side. It was in knowing that it will permanently change how people will react to and treat him. Idk, I just think there’s much more important pains and traumas that Ethan experienced that I don’t see acknowledged as often in the fandom because most of the focus is solely on eye gore or how angsty the scene could be made. And, hey, no shaming here; gore and angst are some of my favorites, so I don’t think anyone is wrong if they headcanon differently than I do, and I celebrate fan works that have a different, and even opposing, view of canon than myself (that’s what makes fandoms rock!). But on this blog? In my canon? Ethan didn’t feel pain when his eye was taken. In the moment, all he felt was the euphoria of ambition, and the determinedness to follow through with his destiny. (And quite a great deal of fear and nerves, though he wouldn’t admit to that if asked).

[chheolie]

do we have a series with seungcheol being the father of a little girl in elementary school?

you always manage to handle everything, even though it's very tiring. your ex-husband isn't one of those absent fathers; on the contrary, he's always available for your daughter.

but today was particularly awful! you felt exhausted, inadequate. you put your daughter to bed earlier, but of course, she wasn't sleepy. you just couldn't hold back the tears anymore.

hidden under the comforter, your eyes were swollen from crying so much. this past year since the separation hadn't been easy. seungcheol still held a huge space in your heart, and dealing with his absence was a difficult battle.

your daughter, always observant, noticed your mood swings and the sadness that occasionally showed in your eyes. this time was no different; she just accepted lying down even though she didn't want to sleep. while you tried to pull yourself together in your room, she sneaked out of hers and quickly grabbed your phone, dialing her dad's number.

seungcheol was in a meeting with the members after a day of rehearsals when his phone rang. seeing your number on the screen, an immediate concern arose in his heart.

"hello? y/n?" he asked, worried.

"appa..." she said in a small voice, making seungcheol even more concerned.

"hi, my love, what's wrong?" he tried to keep his voice calm.

"appa, i think omma is sick," her little voice sounded on the phone, full of worry. "she's been crying for a long time."

seungcheol's heart tightened at hearing this. "sick? what else did you see? did she say anything?"

"no, she's just in her room, crying. what should i do?"

seungcheol felt a lump in his throat. part of him wanted to run to you, while another part hesitated, fearing to reopen old wounds. but his concern for your well-being spoke louder.

"don't worry okay? i'm coming over."

he hung up the phone, determined to do whatever it took to make you feel better. he said goodbye without giving many explanations to the members and headed to his car.

as he turned off the car, he took a deep breath. he tried to focus his mind on helping you and forgetting the feelings he'd been repressing for the past year.

your ex-husband opened the bedroom door slowly, looking cautiously. seeing you under the comforter, he knocked gently. "y/n...? is everything okay?"

you emerged from under the comforter quickly, startled by the voice you heard. "seungcheol?" you asked, confused, sitting up and drying your tears, but your eyes were sunken and red, making his heart ache at the sight. he approached slowly, sitting beside you, hesitant but unable to stay away.

"what are you doing here?" you asked, still trying to understand.

"our daughter called me, she was worried about you. i... i needed to come." he said calmly, trying not to falter.

"oh... i'm sorry seungcheol. i'm sorry she called you and made you worry. i... i should have been more careful; i didn't want her to worry like this." you said, looking down.

"you don't need to apologize, y/n. our daughter did what she thought was right. she was worried about you, just as i am." he said firmly. "what happened, y/n? what made you cry?" he asked with a tone of sadness.

you looked at seungcheol, the tears starting to fall again. taking a deep breath, you began to speak, your voice trembling with the force of your emotions.

"seungcheol, i... i'm so overwhelmed. everything is so hard without you here. i feel like i'm carrying the world on my shoulders, and sometimes, i just can't do it anymore. i miss you so much."

seungcheol swallowed hard, leaning in a little more, his eyes full of concern and guilt. "i didn't know it was this hard for you, y/n. i... never wanted you to feel like this."

you continued, the words pouring out in a torrent as if a dam had broken. "i've been trying to be strong, for me and for our daughter, but it's so lonely. i look at the place where you used to be, and it's like a part of me is missing. i don't know how to move on without you."

seungcheol held your hand, squeezing it gently. "y/n, i'm so sorry for all this. i'm so sorry for not being here for you. i never stopped caring about you, never stopped thinking about you."

you looked into his eyes, feeling the connection between you still strong. "i miss you so much, seungcheol. i don't know if i can keep going like this. everything feels so empty without you."

he pulled you into a hug, his voice soft and full of regret. "i miss you too, y/n. maybe... maybe we can find a way to make this work. i want to be here for you, in any way you need."

"appa, can you stay with us tonight?" your daughter asked, her eyes shining with expectation, startling you both as you were hugging.

seungcheol looked at her, letting go of the hug, hesitant. "my dear, i... i don't live here anymore. i can't just stay."

disappointment crossed your daughter's face, and she looked at you with a pleading expression. "but, omma, please ask appa to stay. i don't want you to get sick again."

you felt your heart ache at seeing the sadness in her eyes. looking at seungcheol, you saw the same hesitation and concern in his eyes. taking a deep breath, you just nodded to him, and he understood what you wanted to say with your look.

"okay. just for tonight." he said, turning to your daughter.

your daughter let out a little squeal of joy and ran to hug her father again. "thank you, appa! thank you, omma!"

you smiled, feeling a warmth in your chest at seeing them together. even if it was just for one night, having seungcheol there brought an indescribable comfort.

the night passed slowly, with a mix of feelings hanging in the air. while seungcheol read a story to your daughter in the living room, you watched them from the hallway, your eyes still swollen but now with a glimmer of hope. his voice was calm and comforting, each word conveying a sense of security that you so desperately needed.

your daughter was snuggled in her appa's lap, laughing and having fun, momentarily forgetting the whirlwind of emotions she'd felt before. the sound of her laughter was like music to your ears, a reminder that, despite everything, there were moments of happiness and peace.

seungcheol looked up and met your eyes. a gentle and understanding smile lit up his face, and you felt your heart warm. he was there, even if just for one night, and that made all the difference.

when the story ended, your daughter fell asleep in her father's arms, tired but with a peaceful expression.

seungcheol carefully placed your daughter on the couch, covering her with a blanket. he then approached you, who was leaning against the doorframe, watching the scene with a mix of gratitude and longing. without saying a word, he enveloped you in a tight hug, as if his actions could convey all the apologies and regrets that words couldn't.

"i'm so sorry," he murmured, his voice choked. "i'm sorry for everything you went through alone, for not being here when you needed me the most."

you let the tears flow, feeling the warmth of his body against yours. seungcheol's embrace was a safe harbor in the storm that had been the last year. "i'm sorry too, i know it's been hard for you too," you whispered, the words coming out amidst sobs. "i miss you so much, seungcheol."

he held you even tighter, as if he wanted to ensure he'd never let you fall again. "i'm here now, y/n. and i'll do everything to make sure this night isn't the last. i'll do everything to be more present, until i can be here every day."

you pulled away slightly, just enough to look into his eyes. "thank you for coming," you said, feeling a comforting warmth spread through your chest. "even if just for tonight, having you here means so much to me."

he smiled gently and wiped the tears from your face. "whenever you need, i'll be here. and i'll do everything so that, in the future, we can be together again, as a family."

[noparadiseinthis]

English is not my first language. Bear with me, Grammarly helps, but it doesn't work miracles

Part 1: Birds fly in different directions

Spencer Reid/Gideon's daughter!Reader

Masterlist here

Warnings: Father's death. It is pure sadness (but cute, too). You and Spencer have children. Maybe not as much Spence as you'd like. A very brief mention of suicide in a teen joke.

The "●●●" marks the shift between past and present.

Summary: When your husband Spencer woke up to a phone call in the middle of the night, you were sure it would be another case. You never expected it to be Agent Hotchner telling you that your father's body had been found.

When you were born, Stephen was 3 years old and your father was finding it increasingly difficult to balance family time with work. With a new baby in the mix, he was always tired. He had a way of compartmentalizing and not thinking about his family when he was working, but the opposite wasn't true. What he did most was blame himself and spend sleepless nights, his mind wandering between the horrors he saw in the cases and his wife, alone to look after you and your brother. That's why, every time you woke up crying in your crib, he would immediately stand up, as if he had predicted the exact time.

When he was at home, he tried to take as much weight off Jill's shoulders as possible, which included taking you into the kitchen every night, your face nestled in his neck while he hummed to you and prepared your bottle after checking to see if your diaper needed changing. Most nights, he'd manage to calm you down or take you downstairs before waking his wife, but when that didn't happen, he'd just kiss Jill and tell her to go back to sleep because he had everything under control.

"There's a Starman waiting in the sky, he's told us not to blow it 'cause he knows it's all worthwhile." he would sing/whisper in your ear during those nights, always the same song.

You were enchanted by his voice, your small hand rubbing the stubble on his face as you listened in silence so as not to miss anything, although sometimes you would let out a few small strangled sounds, far from being any recognizable words. He just laughed as quietly as he could and smiled excitedly in your direction.

"That's right, love. Soon we'll be a duet."

On this particular evening, he held you against his chest as he waltzed around the kitchen with you, singing "he told me: let the children lose it, let the children use it, let all the children boogie" to the sound of your loud laughter.

"So that's what you do when you tell me to go to bed?" The woman's voice echoed through the kitchen, causing Jason to turn abruptly, facing his laughing wife who was holding a video camera.

"Huh, excuse me?" He mumbled, looking embarrassed, as if he'd been caught committing a crime.

You looked like you were about to cry when your dance was interrupted, but then you spotted your mother and started shouting and waving your arms, calling her close.

"Please don't interrupt the show because of me," Jill said with a laugh. "How is she going to sleep after all this excitement, Jason?"

"Watch and learn, darling." He smiled openly, something almost feral in his expression as he deftly held you in one arm and tested the temperature of the bottle with the other. "I always manage."

●●●

The sharp sound of Spencer's phone ringing in the middle of the night easily lulled you out of sleep. Your husband would probably have some explanation about how this was evolution, conditioning women to wake up faster to high-pitched sounds like a baby crying.

"Spencer, pick that up," you muttered with a certain irritation, lightly shaking his shoulder.

Spencer sighed as he groped around with his eyes closed on the bedside table, trying to find his cell phone.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." He whispered.

You understood why. He always apologized before going out on a case.

●●●

The ringing of the phone echoed in the peaceful kitchen in the middle of the night. The recording was interrupted as Jason closed his eyes and sighed, knowing that only one person would call him this late.

"David Rossi knows how to have terrible timing." Jill commented, failing to hide her frustration.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." He whispered, looking from you to your mother, thinking of Stephen sleeping upstairs. "I'm not going."

"They need you, I understand. Just answer it." She said before leaving the kitchen.

Jason tried to ignore your confused and sleepy face as he answered the phone with an "I hope you're calling me for a drink."

On the other end of the line, Rossi snorted, "I wish. New case."

●●●

"New case?" Spencer mumbled into the phone, his voice moaning with sleep.

"Not the way you're thinking." Hotch replied, his voice tense. "Is your wife with you?"

●●●

"Give her to me and I'll put her to sleep." Jill offered, approaching her husband as he entered the living room.

"No, I... I did that." He couldn't explain why some days were harder than others, they just were.

●●●

Spencer made some strange friends in his youth. He remembers Max, one of his tutorial students at Caltech who is playing sloppily in the library chair before muttering that "some days it's better to kill yourself in bed as soon as the alarm goes off". At the time, his only response was a snorting laugh. He had never fully understood that feeling until now.

You didn't pay much attention to his conversation on the phone, but you were surprised to realize that several minutes had passed and he still hadn't gotten up to go to work. You scratched your eyes, sitting up in bed.

"Spence?"

When he looked at you, your heart squeezed. Your husband looked as if he was about to burst into tears.

●●●

"Who's the most beautiful girl in the world? That's right, it's you, baby." Jason cooed to you in the crib, delighted and frightened by the way you were now holding your bottle all by yourself. "I wanted you to be my baby forever".

With you, he tried not to think about the details of Dave's case over the phone, but his stupid brain couldn't help it. He didn't deserve a family like that. "I hope you don't hate me in the future," he whispered, his voice just a little shaky.

Once again, his singing voice put you to sleep. "Well, the clock says it's closing time, I think I'd better go now. I'd really like to stay here all night."

He kissed Stephen and Jill before leaving and these memories stayed with him through the long hours of the car journey.

"Is everything all right?" Dave asked, taking the wheel so that Gideon could get some rest.

"Sometimes they're harder to leave than others." He said, looking out of the window as he bit his lip to stop the wave of sadness.

"I imagine it is."

Three years ago, they were the same, young marrieds excited about impending fatherhood, glances exchanged between them during cases because only one could understand the other's fear that one day their families might be the victims. Now, Jason felt as if they belonged to completely different worlds.

There were walls between them, both always avoiding mention of their son's death and Rossi's subsequent divorce. Maybe that's where they went wrong; the fact is that's how they began to distance themselves, and Jason began to forget what it was like to have someone other than his wife with whom he could confide his fears without feeling guilty.

David would never judge him, but he judged himself every time he thought about venting about how Stephen was starting to test his parents' limits more and more, and then he remembered that Rossi's son would be the same age as him, and his friend would probably give anything to deal with a child's tantrum. For the rest of their lives, they were birds flying in different directions.

●●●

"Spence, what's wrong?" you asked a little startled, getting down on your knees on the bed.

He just hugged you tightly and sobbed, crying for what seemed like hours into your sweater. Wishing you could take all the pain away from his chest, you cradled him lovingly, stroking his hair and waiting for him to calm down enough to tell you what had happened.

"H-Hotch said... Hotch said..." he finally began, pulling away from your embrace so that he could look into your face. "That the police found a body."

Once again, your husband had to stop to collect himself, and you wiped away his tears in anguish and confusion.

"In your father's hut. They think it's him."

Your world stopped. And all the words seemed to fly away. No. No. No. It was some mistake. It had to be. Spencer had to force himself out of his state of anguish when he saw how you went into shock.

"Tell me it's a lie." You whispered, your voice so shaky and vulnerable that it was like a stab in his chest. You didn't wait for an answer before collapsing.

You thought of the video on your cell phone, the one whose tape you'd digitized when your father left it in the cabin before he left. That video seemed like a world ago, a world where he cradled you to his chest and sang David Bowie to you. You hardly realized you were crying. You wanted to have been his baby forever. You hated growing up.

The recording ended with the landline ringing in the early hours. You never needed your mother to explain what had happened. The alarm went off and he left. Like so many times. Like now. Forever.

"Listen to my voice, angel. Breathe with me, please."

Oh yes. You're a grown woman now, you can't be daddy's baby, as much as you'd like to be. You have babies of your own, sleeping just a few doors down.

"Why, Spencer?" You seemed to break down, crying harder than he'd ever seen you in his life.

He called you two days ago. He asked how his grandchildren were. He wanted to talk to Spencer, who was away on a case. He said he loved you. He said he'd visit for Christmas. You'd fallen asleep while he was reciting to you the names of all the birds on the West Coast. Why did you fall asleep?

●●●

As heavy-minded as he always was after a stressful case, Jason walked through town to clear his head before hitting the road to return to his family. He spotted a small toy store, with some stuffed birds in the window. He didn't even know they were made.

Almost as if he were a marionette, he was impelled to enter. There were an impressive number of species, but he knew which one was perfect as soon as he laid eyes on it. A robin. He left the store with a few dollars less and one more plush than when he entered, but it was worth it. He would spend his entire salary on toys if it made you happy.

[A/N]: This was started as soon as I finished the episode on Gideon's death today. Such a beautiful and sad episode. Every detail of it brought me to tears. It turned out that this first part was more a tribute to him than anything else. It was supposed to be a much longer one-shot, but this small part was already emotionally draining to write, so I decided to take a break and finish the rest as soon as possible. I have lots of ideas for more angst. I don't know if I liked the result very much, but I hope you had fun reading it.

The songs that Gideon sings to Reader are:

● Starman - David Bowie

● Soul Kitchen - The Doors

The title is from "Birds - Imagine Dragons"

[lani-heart]

|| series masterlist || next // previously

parings -> ( eventually ) enhypen x reader genre -> soulmate au, fantasy au, angst warnings -> angst, mention of burns / attack word count -> 1.4k

abstract -> sports day is coming but Sooha isn't any closer to befriending the witch and Niki and Sunghoon seem to be further from their soulmate accepting them anytime soon...

y/n's perspective 

The school has opened many things. Last week's announcements were a success, the complaint box was questionable but the school mandated it, and field day was the most looked forward to event which was finally approved. 

“Okay, with all these rules, there will be different pairings. The school will randomize the students and equalize the number of students from each school in the different groups” I explained. 

“Student council will not be a part of field day, besides the select few who asked for the waiver at the beginning of the week,” Wonyoung said and it was made so student council students didn’t cheat or rig an event. 

“So have your planned assignments ready, i’ll review them when you’re done” Wonyoung announced and they nodded. 

“y/n, do you know if students are banned from events, yet?” EJ asked and I nodded. “These are the files of each school’s banned list, this is because of powers, suspensions, etcetera. If they’d like to waiver it they need to request a meeting with the counselors” I explained and they nodded. 

“If you have any questions please ask an event planner” I said as everyone started leaving or planning. I was gonna leave when I was about to run into Niki… I had to be more careful.

“I wanted to know why my waiver wasn’t approved?” he asked and I sighed.

“Your powers–" "I know, but I really wanted to participate,'' he begged and I sighed seeing how badly he wanted to participate. “I don’t think you can, I'm sorry Niki, '' I apologize. I came to realize he was very athletic and must've looked forward to this. “I just don’t want to be standing around doing nothing” he confessed and I nodded. 

“Do you want to be an instructor? You’d be able to determine who wins and how to do things correctly? I was gonna ask K but if–" "Could I?!” he yelled and soon bowed, apologizing for his outburst. It was cute. 

“Don’t apologize. I’ll write you up for it, okay?” I asked and he nodded happily. 

“Thank you!” he said and I smiled at the energetic boy. He didn’t talk to me often but I knew he was my other soulmate. He didn’t really show skinship with Sooha, I noticed that. She’s mainly ever like that with the oldest ones in their group… and sometimes Jungwon but it got better. 

“Are you sure giving him so much power is okay?” I heard Sunoo. “He’ll be fine,” I said and he chuckled. “Sure… and when he purposely makes his favorites win, it'll be on you, miss president” he teased. 

“Oh yeah? Are you gonna overthrow me?” I asked and he laughed. “Maybe I should,” he said, and before we could say more I heard a gag. “Seriously in public?” I heard and I laughed. “Eunchae?” I asked and she smiled. “Dinner… with the girls, come on,” she said as she dragged me away. 

“Wonnie!!” fun fact… Jungwon and Wonyoung hated each other. Mainly because they share the same nickname. 

“Wonyoung!” Eunchae corrected and Jungwon rolled his eyes. “Take that leech! Your own girlfriend chooses me over you!” she taunted and he glared at the girl.

“Sure Wonyoung” he said in a monotone tired voice and she scoffed. 

“Hmph, let's go!”

niki’s perspective

y/n was always with Jungwon and Sunoo… or with her friends.

I didn’t know how to approach her and recently I've been helping with cheering up Sunghoon… he's slowly becoming a corpse.

But he hasn’t tried gaining her attention, instead leaving the situation alone.

“Niki, take it easy with her! Don’t overwhelm her!” Sunoo scolded Jungwon by his side also.

“Boys!” I heard as I saw Sooha happily yell at us from our regular table. “What happened today?” Heeseung asked. Since he’s vice president he wasn’t in the meeting today since it was mainly to plan.

“Event planning for the sports day. We were going over regulations” Jungwon explained.

“Who should we look out for?” Jay asked and I laughed. We were definitely more competitive so we needed to win for the Decelis

“Well the Riverfield council is gonna be a threat… the humans I have really no idea, but witches play dirty” Sunoo explained.

“Dirty? That’s unfair then!” Sooha said and for a second I realized Sunghoon was still in the same state…

It’s been a week and yet he’s still badly coping… “Witches are granted to use their powers in some of the games, Sooha” Sunoo said. “Ooh! Is y/n playing?!” She asked and I shook my head.

“Why not?” she soon asked me with a pout… she’s been wanting to play with y/n ever since sports day was announced.

“Her powers aren’t suitable to be playing, because of her specializing in blood magic, being around vampires isn’t a good idea” I explained and she nodded.

“She’ll be watching only,” Jungwon said and I soon felt Sunoo judging me. “Oh and I’m not allowed to play” I said and they looked at me confused.

“What!? I thought y/n was gonna get it fixed for you!” Jay said and I shook my head.

“I can’t play since it’ll be unfair with my powers but I’ll be an instructor!” I said proudly and they didn’t look happy…

“So you’re gonna cheat?” Heeseung asked and I punched him.

“I would never!” 

“I want to join the student council!” I heard and honestly, I was shocked… “W-what?” Jungwon stuttered and she smiled softly. “Well… Wonyoung told me recently that I can’t be in the  meetings since I'm not a student–""Why is it any of her business?” Jake said annoyed at the mention of a witch.

Recently… especially with Sunghoon getting rejected, he has been very annoyed with Bright Sun… “Huh… Well, she’s right. Besides, I see this as getting y/n to be friends–""Sooha, let it go already. She’s a bitch to you, she rejected Sunghoon… just stop wanting to be friends with her” Jake said and I saw Jungwon glare at our hyung…

“Jake… shut up!” Sunoo said and he scoffed.

“Why should I? You really can’t see how rude she is? To Sooha… and look at Sunghoon!” Jake argued and he only shook his head… “She has every reason to hate us… she didn’t accept Jungwon at first either” Sunghoon defended and Jake scoffed.

“Jake stop–” “Not you too Heeseung” he interrupted and the oldest sighed… he couldn’t have a say in it… but I had a bad feeling about how Jake was acting.

“I need air”

jake’s perspective

Everything was better before the merge, before meeting y/n, before meeting Riverfrield… y/n wasn’t Sooha, she was my soulmate but Sooha would always be more to me than the little witch would.

I walked with no destination… So why was I here?

“Oh… hello?” she said and I felt annoyed at seeing her. “Stay away from Sooha” I warned and she looked shocked but shrugged. “You should tell her that,” she said indifferently and I scoffed. 

“What are you trying to say? You are nothing but mean to her!” I yelled and she looked confused… “I’ve never once been mean to her! I have every right to but I don’t” she said and I laughed. 

“It's not my fault hyung loves her more than you, that I do her more than you,” I said and I saw her flinch a little until scoffing.  

“Gonna pull a Heeseung and reject me too?” she asked and I got closer… I grabbed the collar of her uniform tightly as I made sure to look her in the eyes. 

I felt the tingles you would at touching your soulmate… but I wouldn’t let that blind me. 

“I’m rejecting you… you’re nothing but a servant of nature. And if you don’t stay away from Sooha or the rest of us will make your life a living hell” I said and her face contorted with fear… it was better this way… so why did I smell burning?

“y/n!” I heard as I let her go and I saw one of her roommates… I then looked back at y/n who was on the floor now shuffling away from me… I saw the burnt clothes and even some of her skin? 

Did I lose control again?

“Hyung!” I heard as I saw Niki… he looked at what the room was.

It looked bad…

y/n was on the floor… she was crying and whimpering, burns hurt. I know that's because I’ve accidentally done it to people like I did with her. 

“y/n are you–” “No… stay over there” she said and I saw Niki’s face fall, like he was heartbroken. I was frozen. I heard sobs and coaxing words… I couldn’t stop looking at my hands. 

I was suddenly grabbed and taken away. I then felt something hit me in the face. 

“You’re dead”

if you would like to be on the taglist please send an ask or comment under this post. If you message me there might be a chance I don't see if and if you ask on another post such as in one of the chapters it'll be hard to keep up with.

taglist -> @sunus-sun @loumin908 @on-1ce @shinkenprincess-oh @b-a-nshee-blog @bnnyniky @sakuxxi @chiiiiiiiiis @cncreams @pre1ttyies @justanunstablefrog @graythecoffeebean @starzniiky @singlepringle4you @chirokookie @kthstrawberryshortcake-main

please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

ANGST WARNING: How would Ace!Tav react to Astarion dying and being unable to revive him? Or vice versa -- how would Astarion react?

A/N: There is actually a lot to this, so here is a headcanon in three parts. Apologies for the length.

Warnings: Gore, Blood, Passively Suicidal Thoughts, Major Character Death, Heavy Angst

Astarion x Ace!Tav Masterlist

How Ace!Tav Would React to Astarion Dying and Unable to be Revived

In order for this to happen, it would be sudden and unexpected

There would be no preparing for his death

They always thought Astarion would outlive them, he's an immortal vampire, but, more importantly, he's a survivor, always has been

I'm thinking he'd have to be burned up in the sun or something else like it; revivify and raise dead both require a body and the sun would turn him into ash

Maybe he gets caught by surprise, maybe Tav can’t get to him in time or maybe he pushed them out of the way of a blast; the result is the same

No final words, no last touches, there’s nothing left, not even a body

Tav wouldn’t be able to move, the rest of the world going fuzzy at the edges and silent

It would take another party to get them to move, literally dragging them away from the scene like dead weight

It’s takes them several moments to come to their senses, to fight back because he can’t just be gone

There has to be something left, something they could use to bring him back

If it’s an ally with them then they’d hold them back telling them they need to get somewhere safe

They would be in full denial, trying desperately to think of something, anything, this can’t be how it ends

But there’s nothing, not a single thing they can do

Once that realization dawns, they just go numb

They spent so much of their life just surviving; they don’t want to go back to that, not when they finally had a taste of what it was to live

They’re just so tired, maybe it would be easier to just…sleep

Even the thought of revenge is too daunting, what would be the point? Astarion would still be gone. Can’t they just rest?

It would take their friends to pull them out of it

I imagine Lae’zel and Shadowheart specifically would lay into them about just giving up. What would Astarion say if he saw them like this?

Tag can well imagine, they can all but hear his voice in their ear

“And you call me dramatic,” he tells them. “Flattering as it is to know you miss me, there's still work to be done. Now get up.”

They want to ignore the words, but they have their own survival instincts to contend with

It’s a slow process

The first several months it’s an ordeal just to eat, but they do

Gale, Shadowheart, Wyll, Karlach, Lae’zel, they all take turns checking in, making sure they’re okay

Gale maybe even has them come to stay in Waterdeep just to keep a better eye on them and keep them away from the memories associated with Baldur’s Gate

It’s a kind gesture and one that slowly starts to pay off

They're able to watch a sunrise again without the urge to weep

They sometimes come in to talk during Gale's lectures, recounting some of their exploits with a smile

They never fully recover, their music isn’t quite as lively, there seems to be a spark missing behind their eyes, but they find a way to survive

They have their friends and find solace in knowing they’re not alone

Eventually they go on the road again, taking in every sight and sound, imaging Astarion seeing it with them

They never fall in love again, they knew that they never would and don’t try to force it

Still, they live; it’s brutal work, but they can’t stop now

How Astarion Would React to Ace!Tav Dying and Unable to be Revived (Dying of Old Age Edition)

Couple different options with this one

I picture Ace!Tav as human, so Astarion outliving them was part of the deal when they got together

All the same Ace!Tav dying of old age vs. dying suddenly and horribly, are going to spark two very different reactions

If they die of old age, Astarion has a much longer time to prepare

There's no hiding getting old, even if Astarion makes jokes about them being with a man four or three times their age

Tav is there to help him through it, even as they're lying on their death bed with him beside them the entire time

They don't want him to try and bring them back; they told him as much

They want him to keep going, to keep living, to find love again after they're gone

Astarion doesn't want to hear it, he doesn't want to think about them being gone even when they both know it's coming

One human life time wasn't nearly enough, he wants more, he always wants more

But the end does come and when Tav finally slips away, all he can do is weep

He wouldn't be alone though, he has friends, strange as it might have once been to admit

Gale, Wyll, Karlach, Shadowheart, and Lae'zel would all find their own way to help him as they too grieve the loss of their friend

He's not the easiest to deal with, he lashes out, he argues, he pushes, he finds himself crying at unexpected moments and mortified at himself for doing so

He wishes he could talk to Tav about all these emotions drowning him and ends up curled up on the floor all over again

But somebody is there to help him back up again

He can’t stay in their home anymore, too many memories bombard him every waking moment

Gale offers for him to come to Waterdeep for a time, but Astarion refuses

He needs to get out, go somewhere far away, someplace he’s never been before

So, one day, he packs a bag and just starts walking

The only thing of Tav’s he takes is a that damned violin, they did try so very hard to teach him how to play, but he always was a better audience

Still he can’t bring himself to leave it behind

He doesn’t know where he’s going or what he’s even doing, but he keeps going anyway

One of the nights, months into his travels, a bard plays at the inn where he's staying

He recognizes the melody, one of Tav's compositions

He had finally convinced Tav to write down some of their music, and even publish a few; this one isn't one of them

The bard plays it differently, emphasizing different words and finding a new meaning while still keeping the integrity of the song

He can all but hear Tav’s contemplative approval as they grin in that “I told you so” sort of way

The best ones live in memory after all

The bard is good, reminding him of Tav in so many different ways

He's not sure what exactly possess him to do it, but he offers them the violin, telling them that it's been a long time since he saw somebody play it properly, maybe they'd like a go

Gods do they play it,

Light and music flow from the instrument, evoking the same vivid display Tav had show him all those years ago

Astarion then leaves without a word, leaving the violin behind for the bard to take

He finally understands what Tav tried to explain to him, how much of themselves they put into their music and how even as the interpretations may change it’s still them

So, he keeps going, keeping their memory alive in what ways he can, mostly as an anonymous patron to promising young bards; he’s always been a better audience anyway

Years later he even meets that first bard, the one he gifted the violin; they turned to be a great performer and was thankful to finally track down the man who put them on that path

They form a true friendship, one that lasts years and allows Astarion to know he can form new relationships

Slowly, Tav's death doesn’t hurt the way it used to

They’ll never fully leave his heart; they were his first in so many ways

It would take him years, possibly even centuries to finally fulfill that final promise to love again, but he does

He’s a survivor by nature, but Gods does it feel good to live

How Astarion Would React to Ace!Tav Dying and Unable to be Revived (Dying Suddenly and Horribly Edition)

This can only end in blood

They're in a middle of a battle, something bigger and worse than they anticipated

Both are skilled in their own way, but they each know their strength lies in stealth and surprise, neither of which they have facing this threat

Astarion was sure they were safe, he was watching their back and vice versa as they had for years

He doesn't see exactly what happens, all he knows is one moment his love was standing in front of him and the next, they're pulp on the floor

Air leaves his lungs, the rest of the world fades as all that exist is their blood in his nose and their desecrated body and then everything goes red

He uses everything at his disposal, knives, nails, teeth; more blood fills the air, his body is covered in it to the point he can't even grip his daggers and just uses his teeth

He doesn't stop until the only thing breathing in the room is him

He then goes to Tav's body, and wraps what's left of it in any cloth he can find; he's not leaving them here, there has to be a way to fix it, to bring them back

He finds a place he can keep them, using what magic he can to preserve the remains of their body until he can find a better solution

He reaches out to any contact he has begging for help, surely their friends would come to their aid

What he gets is all but useless, no answers, no solutions, nothing but empty apologies and condolences

They even have the audacity to them him to let Tav go

They don't understand, they never could

After everything he'd been through, Tav was the first real happiness he found; 200 years of torture and just six months with them was enough to counterweight all that misery

He'd had years since then, and now they were just gone

How could anyone expect him to let that go, not when he had expected a life time with them

Their time together was already limited, he would not be cheated into giving up more; the world didn't get to do that to him

He curses his so called friends, burying himself in necromancy and tomes trying to find a solution

There may still be a way, a much darker way, one that would require sacrifice, but it would be worth it whatever the price

He knew that about himself the moment he started to fall for Tav, there was no telling what things he'd be willing to do, all for them

There is a part of him that hesitates, a little voice inside his head telling him to stop, that he can be better

It's the same voice that told him not to ascend, one he curses just as deeply as the rest of them

If he had ascended none of this would have happened; he would have been able to keep Tav safe, he could have made it so not even time could touch them

He had hesitated then, but he won't now

He'll find a way to bring them back and make sure they never leave him again

[mins-fins]

pearls.

&&. its easy to let go around you, mark is so glad he has you as an escape.

pairing: mark lee x m!reader

genre: angsty but it ends fluffy, idol x regular joe

warnings: mentions of overworking

word count: 1.4k

notes: wrote this for the n01 markf ever in the world!!!! if yk who you are, yk who you are 🫶 anw, i am so terribly in love with mark this is absolutely vile 🙁 save me from this insanely pretty canadian man (DONT SAVE ME), if you can forgive me for not updating for literally TEN DAYS, take this as my apology.. i am so so very corny so those little ending love confessions come from real words i have said to my own very real bf 😞 again sorry for not updating for very long my knee is pretty injured AND life is so shitty.. okay i love you all bye 😓

you won't try to come up for an explanation as to why you were up at one in the morning.

yeah you were tired, but you were still up making coffee in your kitchen. your mind was racing with thoughts of work, god your job stresses you out so much, it's going to end up killing you one day, you can't close your eyes without hearing the loud shouting of your manager and overbearing customers who think they own the world.

sleep has never came easy to you, so coffee at one in the morning it is. the aroma of roasted beans makes it's way around the air of your kitchen, a smell that has become a staple of comfort to you, yeah the excessive coffee intake might kill you someday, but right now? right now you felt like you were in heaven.

your coffee drinking is interrupted by a knock at your day, your head shoots up like your a deer caught in headlights, and you blink at the unmoving wooden door of your unit. you're not expecting anyone, and especially not at one in the morning. your mind races with questions as you place the heated mug onto your kitchen counter, groaning silently as you make your way over to the door.

you can't think of who could possibly be at your door, maybe your manager? one of your coworkers? a guy from amazon delivering a package originally for your neighbors?

the last option seems like the most probable one, so when you open your door, you prepare a small sentence for the delivery person you expect to be at your door. "for the last time unit 17 is on the second floo—"

you pause as you open the door, it is not a random delivery guy from amazon. when you look up to meet the eyes of the person who had knocked on your door, you come face to face with a person you had missed more than anything.

mark.

you find a small smile coming to your face at the sight of your boyfriend, but your smile falls as you take in how he looks. his eyes are red and puffy, he's fidgeting with his sweater strings, and he's bitten his lips so hard that they've begun bleeding. your lips turn downward at the sight before you, he looks stressed, he looks miserable.

"oh god, hi babe, i didn't even know you'd come around".

mark blinks at you, continuing to fidget with the strings of his sweater, the sweater he's wearing is one you bought for him back last year when you went on that trip to vancouver. "sorry" he whispers, blinking again. "i just— i don't know i feel overwhelmed".

you tilt your head, immediately getting what he meant by that. you open your door wider, pausing mark's fidgeting momentarily to grab his left hand to intertwine it with yours. "come in" you don't wait for his response, just tug his hand gently, lurching him forward into your unit and smoothly closing the door behind you.

you catch on to mark's heightened anxiousness, but he seems to be want to be avoiding that topic as much as possible. "did something happen?"

mark is quick to shake his head, way too quick, you narrow your eyes at him and his weird change in behavior. "no, nothing, i'm just.. work, it's all becoming just a little too much for me".

ah, a small frown forms again on your lips. mark is a hardworking person, you know that, but it sometimes all gets to his head, those unbearable thoughts that he's not doing well enough, the unbearable feeling of anxiety that settles whenever he thinks about his future as a musician, the feeling that he's not doing enough even though he already does so much.

you hate that this has become a familiar sight. a distressed mark with tears welled up in his eyes, clearly trying his best to stay put together as he stood in front of your door, each time, it seemed to be getting worse and worse.

you've seen mark at so many of his lows, many more than you like to count, and just the thought of him feeling like he isn't doing enough upsets you.

you're not thinking about anything else when you step forward, not your untouched coffee on the counter, not your shitty job, nothing but making mark feel better. your arms wrap around him instinctively, and you loop your left arm around his waist to pull him into a hug, a hug he doesn't try to fight.

you hear a small sniffle leave mark as you tighten your hold on him, a few years escape his eyes, wetting the top of your sleeve, but you don't care, much too busy embracing him. "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry" your words are nothing but a small whisper in the expanse of your apartment, as if a secret shared only between the two of you, but mark hears your words well, he hears everything he has to. you raise and press a kiss to his forehead, an act of affection that just makes mark even more emotional than he expected.

"you shouldn't have to feel like this, you work so hard, you do so much.."

your mutters only get a small chuckle in response, and you just snicker as well.

mark has always found it easy to let go around you, it's been a staple of your relationship since forever, even before you began dating. around you, he doesn't feel like he has to put on a show, he doesn't have to live up to all of these unrealistic expectations. with you, he doesn't have to be world famous idol mark lee, he doesn't have to be star trainee mark lee, he doesn't have to be perfect, flawless mark lee.

with you, mark can let go, he can just be himself.

mark has no idea what he'd do without you.

when you pull away, arms still caged around mark, he doesn't let go immediately, head still pressed against your shoulder.

nothing else matters at the moment to you. so, instead of trying to move away from him, you let him begin moving you backward, you just allow for him to, lightly squeaking when he pushes you onto the couch and quickly moves to lay on top of you.

you giggle at his dedication, but he doesn't say anything more, just wraps his arms around you and lays his head onto your chest, listening to the beating of your heart. "you tired?"

mark just nods against your chest, letting out a small sigh as he cracks one eye open to glance at you. "y/n?"

"hm?"

"i love you.." he mutters, grabbing your hand and lacing his fingers with yours. "love you so much, i'm so happy i have you".

you laugh. "mark—"

"hush" he places a finger against your lips, cutting off your oncoming words. "let me finish" he gives a tired smile as he continues.

"i can't believe how lucky i am to have you, your always here taking care of me and i.. i can never figure out how to repay you, you're one of the best things to ever happen to me, everything becomes much more bearable with you, i love you so so much it's literally driving me crazy".

you blink as you listen to mark pour his heart out to you. he has always been like this, oh you're so in love, even at some of his lowest points, he never fails to remind you that he loves you, and that he feels so deeply for you. his words always strike you in a strange place, they always get a smile and red face out of you.

oh mark lee always knows how to leave you speechless.

"hey" you whisper, noticing mark slowly looking away from you. "you don't have to repay for me for anything, i'm your boyfriend, i'm always going to look after you because you're wellbeing is important to me, and don't start with all of that, you're one of the best things to happen to me".

mark snorts silently. "love you".

"love you more".

mark leans closer, moving his soft hand against yours. "i know" he whispers.

you run your fingers through his hair, slowly coaxing him to sleep with your ministrations.

"good".

[iguana-eyanna]

To Miss Laurant... Pt. 1

Pairing: Lord Alfred Debling x Reader

Summary: What happens when two souls who had not found love find it within each other?

a/n: okay a bit late on watching bridgerton (don't come at me please) but I feel like Debling is a well written character and would love to see him more so mwUAH! I also wanted to give the reader a name so the last name is Laurant.

"There, one of my greatest works!" Madame Delacroix said as she finished the hem of your dress.

You admire the beading by your sleeves and how it flows by the end of your gown, which was also adorned by a cape.

"It's just us, Genevieve. You can lose the accent" You said, looking back at your childhood friend.

"Oi. I have to keep appearances, you'll never know who'd walk in those doors." She said in her regular voice. You both laugh as if you two haven't seen each other since your family moved to France. You then became a traveling performer, singing for the largest of crowds and now back home to sing for the biggest event.

"I still can't believe you're back home, and performing for the queen no less. Are you nervous?" She asks.

You press your hand on your stomach, feeling the butterflies.

"Very. I never sang for royalty before. I thank Lady Danbury for opening her home to me for my stay and offering counsel on how to approach her majesty."

"Well, the bachelor's will swoon by your talent, wit, and beauty for tonight." Madame Delacroix, she said, kneeling by the end of your dress to fix a hem.

"I'm afraid that's where you lose me Gen. I faced too many heartbreak in my life, sometimes I don't believe in the words I am singing."

Genevieve tsks at you and rises up, placing her hands by your shoulders.

"You shan't forsaken your passion for love. Who knows, maybe you shall meet a certain suitor tonight."

"Perhaps..." You said, looking back at the mirror, unsure that you believe in the feeling.

+

"My Lord, welcome back home." an older man said, offering his assistance to Lord Debling.

"Only temporary Buford, I do wish things do recover." Lord Debling replied, as he looks down at his cane.

Upon his mission to save a rare mammal during an unforgiving snowstorm, Lord Debling lost his footing on a weak stone by the side of a cliff and fell 20 feet down. It was remarkable that he survived the fall, but he broke his leg and he had scars around his face and torso from the turbulent fall.

His crew helped him find the nearest physician and was told he must return home to recover for the sake of his health. With much dismay, he returned back to Mayfair, hoping he could leave to complete his mission.

"Yes sir, a speedy recovery you shall have." Buford replied as he helped the Lord get into his carriage.

They rode off to the estate, where Lord Debling looks outward to the town. He accidentally made eye contact with a few townspeople and they began to whisper. The Lord whipped the small curtain closed and inhaled, catching his breath.

"Your return has spread quickly here, they've said you've cheated death." Buford said with caution.

"What I've cheated on was my mission. If I'm not back by the end of this season, the creatures would not survive the rest of the winter." Lord Debling said.

"Of course sir, my apologies. If you like, I can provide on the latest news since your last visit."

"I suppose that wouldn't hurt."

"Well, the queen is having a ball at the palace. You did also receive an invitation."

"I do not wish to entertain anyone for the matter, Buford." the tired Lord replies.

"If I may speak freely, you have not been seen in ages, my Lord. I believe some live entertainment shall lift your spirits momentarily."

The Lord ponders for a moment.

"Well, I guess I shall use my night wisely. Thank you for your counsel, Buford. Live entertainment you said?"

"Yes, a singer. She's an accomplished musician who's toured around the Americas, Asia, and Europe. I have her flyer here." Buford offered a folded paper to the Lord.

Alfred Danbury looks fondly, reading out loud your last name.

"Laurant?"

"Are you familiar with her?" Buford asks.

Lord Debling shakes his head no as he folds back the paper.

"No, I'm afraid not." He replied as opens back the window, looking outward.

As the night arrived, Lord Debling felt like he was out of practice around the high society. People often shared condolescences on his accident and women would near him, they're faces would be etched with pity.

He wanted to crawl out of his skin and be in the confinement of his home. It was like the walls of the room was closing in and rushed out as fast as he could. He slowly took off his coat and vest, leaving on his white button shirt.

He managed to get by the gardens and sat down, hissing as the ache in his leg was acting up. He drops his clothes and cane to the side and tends his knee, closing his eyes.

"Are you alright?" a soft spoken voice is heard.

He opens his eyes and faces you, as you sat in your plain dress by the quiet fountain that were etched with baby angels.

"I wish I could stop hearing that." He grumbles to himself.

"I'm sorry for asking." You said, huffing as you turned away.

Lord Debling felt horrible as he straightens up as best he could.

"Forgive my manners, all night I've been consoled and pitied for. I do not wish to feel like a wounded creature." He says, showing his cane.

You turn your head towards him again. You bow your head, understanding.

"It's alright, my apologies for striking a sour chord."

Lord Debling couldn't help but laugh and cracked a smile, a manner he has not done since his accident. He offers you a seat by him and you obliged.

"What is a maiden as yourself outside for?" He asks.

You struggle to find the right words and looked at him with kind eyes.

"This is my first ball, I was afraid I'd make a fool of myself."

"It's impossible, I do not know you well but you carry yourself with such poise." Lord Debling says.

You couldn't help chuckle, not believing his words.

"We must not let fear get to us tonight. Life is too short to squabble in the mist of doubt."

Lord Debling was beguiled of your wisdom.

"Well said, miss..." he trailed on, not getting your name.

You were about to reply till the bell tower rang.

"Oh no, I'm late!" You said, grabbing your dress and quickly running off.

"But wait, I don't know your name!" Lord Debling said, getting up.

You turned towards him, screaming out your name.

"What is yours so I may remember?"

He was about to say his title, but he stopped. You seemed so free from high society, he didn't know who you were or what your ranking was. He just saw you for, well you.

"Alfred!" He yelled back.

"We shall meet again, Alfred." You said, before running off.

Lord Debling placed his hand on his heart, feeling it race like gazelles.

He had kept his heart from ever loving something more than protecting the innocence of wildlife, and yet, you ran away and he longed for your presence once more.

He placed his outer garments, grabbed his cane and walked with purpose back at the ball, trying to find you in the sea of people. Soon, the floor cleared and an announcer walked on the platform.

"Our dearest guests, we have brought you a special talent for tonight. As she prepares to travel to the pacific this summer, she has graced us with her voice for this season. I present to you, Miss Laurant!"

Everyone cheered and a figure slowly walked onto the platform, with an almost glowing dress that illuminated more by the lights. She looked outward to the crowd, afraid with those memorizing eyes.

That's when Lord Debling knew it was you.

You looked upward to the queen, as she gave you grim look of disappointment. You looked away and tried to find peace in your stirring mind. That's when you made eye contact with a familiar face.

Alfred.

He shook his head to you, almost indicating that you had enough courage to go on.

You straighten upward and faced the orchestra by the side and you began to sing.

Lord Debling stood like a statue. Your voice captivated his ears like a songbird, and he was too afraid to move in fear you would stop.

You didn't leave your gaze on Alfred, as he was your anchor through the storm that filled your head with dread. For once in your life, you begun to understand the words you've sung about love. Something ignited you, and it was proven as there was a roar of applause that was for your performance.

You look back at the queen and she nodded in approval, smiling contently. You bow in her presence and left the platform.

The orchestra resumed the delightful tune of dance as you were congratulated by the court. Lady Danbury walked up to you, beaming with pride.

"My dear, I understood you've sung for a living but I underestimated that voice. Do not let me doubt you again." She says lively.

"Oh, you're too kind, Lady Danbury. It is you I have to share gratitude for. Thank you for having me into your home."

"Anytime, my dear. I also bring good news, her majesty is requesting a private audience with you during your stay here."

Your mouth dropped into an 'O' and you hugged Lady Danbury, then a split second letting go as you straighten yourself.

"Apologies, but this news has elated my mood of late. Thank you." You said, as Lady Danbury just gave you a beaming smile.

She was about to say something until something caught her eye. "It seems you have made an impression to a particular someone."

You don't understand what she's saying until you see Alfred, now dressed formally. He walks towards you two and bows his head.

"Lady Danbury, it's a pleasure to see you tonight. Miss Laurant, I did not expect you were tonight's performance."

"You two know each other?" Lady Danbury asks.

"Br-Briefly. We exchanged words by the garden." You said, confused as you thought Alfred was a footman of sort, but dressed similar to those in the court.

"I was blown away by your performance tonight, Miss Laurant. Perhaps when I am in the best of health, I can escort you to the dance floor sometime."

"Lord Debling, I thought you never dance at balls." Lady Danbury teases making him chuckle.

"Lord?" You ask, your eyes wide.

"I am sorry if I did not share my title at the time-" Lord Debling tried to explain but you took a step back.

"Lady Danbury, I must rest before meeting her majesty this week. Thank you both for your kind words, but I must go." You bowed before you left them in confusion.

"Did I offend her honor? I did not know my title would have her leave." Lord Debling asks, feeling as if he'd hurt you.

Lady Danbury could see his sincere features and tried consoling him.

"It is not you, my Lord. Before Miss Laurant arrived to London, she has told me she has had a troubled past. It appears you may have reminded her of something that she can't escape."

Lord Debling could only look at the direction where you left, wondering if you were alright.

Soon, you hailed a carriage and traveled to Lady Danbury's residence. You sank by the wall and began to cry, holding yourself for some comfort.

You thought Alfred was like you, free from title and expectations. You thought that maybe, you could love him.

But you can't give your heart to a Lord,

not again.

To be continued...

[oliviaischillin1204]

tickletober day 18- "tickle fight"

word count: 4,509 words

welcome to day 18 my friends!! this is a recursive fic (meaning a fic based on another fic) so i've gone ahead and linked the original story under the cut- you def don't have to read the og fic before this one, although i do recommend it bc i love it to absolute death and it's soooo cute jdfgdhj. also please don't @ the author abt this fic, just be respectful please, thank youuuu!

Once upon a time a very silly thing happened, and now all of the Sides were friends again. If that seems like an oversimplification, well, Patton sometimes felt that way too.

Of course, nothing about that whole situation- Roman, Remus, Virgil, and Janus being turned into children, with Logan and Patton having to take on the role of parents as they desperately tried to make everything go back to normal- had felt simple in the slightest while it was actually happening. But now that it was all over, after so many confessions, secrets, and long-overdue apologies had been shared, it was honestly surprising how easily the six of them had gotten used to acting like a family.

For example, tonight they were all sitting together on their absolutely massive couch, which was just big enough for all six of them to sit side-by-side with only minor squeezing (which none of them really minded, hence why no one had suggested they get a bigger couch yet). Roman and Remus had worked together to create it-- it was kinda cute, how much they now tried to collaborate on even the most minor of creations.

A movie was on the TV, but honestly, none of them were paying attention to it. Roman and Virgil were holding hands and murmuring lowly to each other, giving each other soft, shy looks as if they were completely alone; Janus and Remus were attempting to throw popcorn into each others mouths, too busy laughing to even notice how loud they were being; and Patton and Logan, each sitting on opposite ends of the couch, were overlooking the entire soft scene with unbelievable fondness.

Every now and then they would catch each other's eyes over the heads of the children-- the other Sides! Not children!-- and smile, tired and fondly exasperated at the others' antics. It was funny how comfortable and familiar the new dynamics around the Mind Palace already were; with Logan by his side, and the others all getting along for the first time in a very long while, Patton felt like this was exactly how things were meant to be.

Suddenly there was a small noise of confusion right next to him. He turned to find Remus holding a popcorn kernel in his hand.

"Uh, ex-cuse me," he said, leaning forward and holding the kernel up threateningly. "Which one of you nerdy prince wannabes threw this at me?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Roman replied in a haughty voice. "Did you find that distracting? Having someone throw something at your head while you're trying to enjoy a movie?"

Remus cackled. "I didn't throw a darn thing at you, brother mine. I would never." He finished his sentence with a sickly sweetness, batting his eyelashes.

"Oh, so it wasn't you? What about all of this?" Roman gestured to the blanket he and Virgil had been sharing, which was now covered in popcorn crumbs and kernels.

Remus shrugged, grabbing another handful and popping it in his mouth cheerfully. "Don't know what to tell you, Princey. Maybe Pop-Goes-The-Emo needs to learn how to eat without making a mess."

"Maybe you need to learn how to aim," Virgil shot back. "I don't see how you keep missing Janus' mouth, considering how big it is-"

"Excuse me?" Janus replied, jostling Virgil with his elbow. "Why am I getting dragged into this now? I did nothing wrong."

"You started it!"

"No, Remus started it."

"I knew it!"

"Oh, bite me, you-"

"That's enough, now," Logan interjected, just as Patton was opening his mouth to do the same. A moment of worry seemed to pass over the four Sides causing mischief, but luckily Logan softened his tone and his expression as he continued, "I suspect that this is all in good fun, but I would like to check if anyone is upset about anything that's been said. We can easily pause the film if anyone wants to discuss any crossed boundaries with the jokes."

Virgil wiggled a little on the couch. "Aw, come on, Logan..."

"Oh, I'm sorry, does talking about feelings embarrass you?" Logan replied, making Patton bite his lip to avoid snickering. "Because I think it's rather more important that everyone here feels loved and respected."

Janus scoffed and fiddled with his pajama set. "Of course, because we're so good at respecting one another."

"We do respect you," Patton replied, making Janus flush from the earnestness. "I know that after everything we've been through, we all respect each other, even if showing that respect is a work in progress. But the one thing that never changes is how much we love each other. I love you all so much!"

"Thank you, Patton," Roman droned; he too looked a little embarrassed, but his voice was good-natured. "And I apologize for anything I've said here that was uncouth. It was all intended in good fun."

"Same," Virgil said. "Sorry, Jan. About the thing I said about your mouth."

"Well, I suppose if I must accept your apology..." Janus replied. Logan fixed him with a stern look, and he huffed. "Yes, of course, you're forgiven, Virgil. And I'm sorry as well. Even though I literally don't think I did anything wrong."

"Sorry for being so silly! Can't help it!" Remus chirped. "Don't need any apologies, though. None of this actually pissed me off or anything."

"That's good," Logan replied. "Because you are definitely cleaning up your popcorn mess after the movie is over."

Remus gaped as the others burst into laughter. His lips turned into a dangerous pout, flopping back into the sofa and crossing his arms.

"Aw, come on, Remus," Patton chimed in. "I'll even help you do it! We'll get it all cleaned up in a jiffy!"

"Blah, blah, blah," he muttered, looking for all the world like a toddler put in time out.

It was all on instinct, really; Patton saw a grumpy child, and he knew what to do to fix it.

Before he could stop himself, Patton's hand made a claw shape and he vibrated his fingers directly into Remus' side.

The result was immediate, and extremely loud-- Remus shrieked, launching forward in an involuntary attempt to get away from Patton's squeezing hand. He tumbled forward and landed on the ground, scurrying backwards as he panted from the shock.

"Jesus fucking Christ and all his dick-ciples, Patton, why?" he asked, voice high and shrieky.

Patton was very aware of how all of the Sides were looking at them-- both in shock at Remus' outburst of laughter, and to see how Patton would react to his language-- but Patton didn't care. Something warm and familiar was rising in his chest, and he smiled lovingly down at Remus.

"What, you think I don't remember how to cheer you up?"

There was a beat, and then everyone else had a brief moment of fond embarrassment as they realized what Patton was talking about. They didn't talk about it much, about how Patton and Logan had taken care of them all when they had magically transformed into children, but it was never forgotten, even though the rest of the Sides (including Logan) still found the whole experience a bit awkward.

Patton turned to the others on the couch, his smile growing as they squirmed. "Come on, don't you all remember?"

He had only meant to keep teasing them, but at that moment Virgil's eyes widened to the size of quarters, and without further ado he shot up from the couch as well, jostling Janus at the same time and making the snake Side fall against Patton.

"No, I know that look, and I'm not doing this," Virgil insisted as he stepped to the other side of the room. But his eyes were bright, his cheeks were getting flushed, and there was a smile on his face that was obviously becoming harder to hide.

Patton bit his lip. "Oh, you don't wanna do this? That's alright-- what about you, Janny?"

And with that, Patton reached down and grabbed Janus as best as he could around the waist, curling him into the crook of his arm and mercilessly tickling his stomach with one hand.

"Wait wait wa-ait!" Janus gasped, hands shooting down in a desperate attempt to pry Patton's away from him. "Nnnno, Patton, this is ridiculoussss ahahahahaha! Nohohoho!"

"Aw, Janus remembers!" Patton cheered. A nervous giggle forced its way out of Remus' mouth, still on the floor as he watched his boyfriend getting tickled. Roman narrowed his eyes.

"Look what you've started," he accused, pointing a finger at his brother. "Patton's never gonna let go of this now!"

"Oh, piss off, Pissy!" Remus snapped back, a manic smirk on his face. "You started it, throwing popcorn at my head!"

"You're right," Roman said. "I should've thrown the bowl."

Remus gasped, affronted, and before he could stop himself he reached out to grab Roman's ankle with one hand, his other hand clawing down the sole of Roman's foot with reckless abandon.

Roman made a noise in between a gasp and a squawk. "No!"

He yanked his foot back, but miscalculated, and suddenly he felt rather than heard Logan's breath get knocked out of him as Roman's knee collided with the logical side's chest. Roman flushed a little; he didn't realize he'd been leaning so far into Logan's side.

"Sorry, Logan--!" His voice was cut off with a small squeak by Logan suddenly wrapping his hands around Roman's calf, holding his leg in place.

"Where are your manners, Roman?" he asked. His face looked normal, but his voice was laced with something that made Roman want to giggle just hearing it. "I believe you owe me an apology."

"I already di-ihihhid!" Poor Roman couldn't even finish his sentence before Logan started squeezing all over his trapped leg, from the back of his calf to just above his knee to the soft squishy parts of his thigh. Now both his and Janus' laughter filled the room, along with Remus' delighted giggles as he watched from the floor. Virgil was still standing in the corner, tugging on his hoodie sleeves and failing to hide his shy smile.

Remus narrowed his eyes at the emo Side. "You're just gonna hide out in the corner like a scaredy-cat, huh, Vee?"

"Fuck off," Virgil snapped back, but the effect was lost with how flustered he sounded. "You're not getting t- you're just sitting there, too!"

"I'm not just sitting here!" Remus shot back, scrambling to his feet and facing Virgil with a Cheshire smile. "I'm saving my boyfriend!"

With that, he lunged to Virgil, managing to grab the anxious Side even as he hissed and jerked away from Remus' grasp. Remus tightened his arms to hold Virgil against his chest, and dragged him over to Patton's side of the sofa.

"Special delivery!" he announced. "Care to swap a snake for a spider, Patty Cake?"

"Plehehehease!" Janus squealed, giggling like crazy

"Hm," Patton mused, smiling up at Virgil, "normally spiders scare me, but I think that one looks like a real cutie pie!"

"Patton- fuck off, Remus!" Virgil shrieked; Remus pushed him forward into Patton's lap, and as soon as Patton released Janus to catch Virgil, Remus was yanking Janus onto his feet and dragging him back across the room toward the safe spot. Still giggling, Janus gripped Remus' arm to stay upright as he caught his breath.

"Thank you, darling."

Remus preened and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Anything for my boo!"

"Ja-nus!" Virgil said. "You traitor- ahahahahaha!" His words were lost as Patton began haphazardly squeezing his sides and stomach, his large hands moving too quickly for Virgil to block.

"Plehehehehease!" Roman squealed; he'd tried to crawl away from Logan, but it was hard with how the logical side was rapidly switching between pinching his thigh and his stomach. He pointed a wobbly finger at his twin. "Rehehehemus!"

"Sorry bro-bro, but I ain't coming anywhere near you right now," Remus replied. "Someone else is gonna have to save you!"

Roman shook his head, forcing his laughter down just long enough to yell, "Logan get Remus!"

Logan chuckled lowly. "Oh, interesting. You think it's Remus' turn?"

Roman nodded desperately. Logan cast his eyes up to Remus and Janus, holding hands with nervous, giddy smiles on their faces.

"Hmm..." Logan said. All of a sudden he released Roman and stood up from the couch in one fell swoop. He wasn't much taller than Remus or Janus, but the way he rolled his shoulders and stretched made them feel very small.

"Remus, come here," he said simply.

"No!"

Logan took one step forward. "Remus..."

"Fuck no!" Remus stepped backwards, dragging Janus along with him.

"Come here-" was all Logan could get out before the chase began. Remus darted around the couch, Janus giggling madly in his wake, and Logan followed with an uncharacteristic playfulness.

Roman, catching his breath, managed to point and laugh as Remus ran. "Your turn, Dukey!"

"Fuck off!" Remus shrieked. Suddenly his heels dug into the floor, yanking Janus to a stop; Logan had reversed direction, and was now coming towards them head on. The two of them screamed, both in fear and delight, and darted in the opposite direction.

"Come on, Professor!" Roman called like a sports spectator. "You can catch them! Go for Janus first!"

"Excuse me?" Janus gasped. He paused just long enough in his running to flick Roman's ear.

"Hey!"

"Haha, nice!" Remus crowed. "Good job, babe!"

"Be nice, Janus..." Logan called. He managed to get close enough a few times to trail his hand across Janus' back, making the snake Side yelp every time.

"Nope, I'm out!" he called, yanking his hand out of Remus' grasp. He immediately stepped to the side, out of Logan's reach; lucky for him, the logical Side seemed dead set on catching Remus now, and they continued to run and duck around the furniture.

"Woah!" Patton said when Remus accidentally jostled his legs as they ran by. "Careful, kiddos!"

"Pahahaton," Virgil groaned. His face was dark and there was an adorable dimple on his cheek that just made Patton wanna coo. "We're not-- not kids!"

For a moment, Patton slowed his squeezing tickles as he readjusted Virgil, nearly pulling the other Side on his lap.

"Wanna know a secret?"

Virgil looked up at him, confused, and squeaked as Patton leaned his head down.

"You're always gonna be my kiddos, Virgey," he whispered in Virgil's ear. Virgil's blush couldn't get any hotter, especially when Patton began snuffling all over Virgil's neck and ears.

"Nahahaha!" he whined, feet banging on the floor. "Hehehehelp!"

He leaned his head against the back of the sofa just in time to catch Janus' eye as he continued to move in wary circles around the room.

"Jan!" he squealed. "Plehehease!"

Janus looked at his brother's face and softened like a wet tissue.

"Patton, honestly," he said, moving forward to stand next to the couch, "I think this... mortifying experience has gone on long enough, don't you?"

Patton looked up at him as he continued to tickle Virgil's sides. "Nope!"

"Perhaps it's time we let this game come to a conclusion?"

Suddenly Roman was behind Janus. "Perhaps not." And with that, he pushed the snake side over the arm of the couch, making him fall face first directly into Patton's lap.

"That's for flicking my ear!"

Patton made a noise of delight that was barely audible with human hearing. "Oh, thank you for the gift, Roman!" He shifted in a way that implied years of practice until he was holding both Virgil and Janus on each of his legs. His arms wrapped around their midsections and began haphazardly tickling their tummies in unison.

One would think that Janus and Virgil were actually biological brothers, the way they both clutched Patton's arm and threw their heads back in laughter in the exact same way.

"Janny!" Remus cried, looking both delighted and affronted that his brother had pushed his boyfriend directly into Patton's tickle trap. His steps faltered, just for a moment, but that was all it took before Logan could grab him around the waist and drag him (not so gently) to the floor.

Logan smiled like a mad scientist who'd brought his creature back to life. "Got you."

"Wait wait wait wait fuck no--" was all he could get out before Logan dug into his stomach with rapidly vibrating claws. Remus screamed, feet drumming wildly on the floor as Logan tickled him to pieces.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuhuhuhuck!"

"Language," Logan chastised lightly, like nothing out of the ordinary was happening at all. "Everyone else has had a turn, Remus. This is only fair."

"I don't need a tuhuhuhurn! This is-- hehehey!"

Remus couldn't even finish his protests before another pair of hands made their way to his sides. His eyes shot open only to see the smirky, snarky face of his twin hovering above him.

"Oh, we could never leave you out of the fun, dearest brother of mine," he sang, squishing randomly on any part of Remus' torso that he could reach. "I thought you liked playing silly games?"

"Go easy on him, Roman," Patton called out; he'd mostly stopped tickling Virgil and Janus, and was now merely holding the two of them as they got their stray giggles out. "Don't hurt him!"

"Oh please, he loves this," Roman replied. Remus screeched in indignation.

"Bullpoopy!"

Roman raised an unimpressed eyebrow. He shot his hand underneath Remus' jaw to scratch his nails along his neck, and Remus squealed, head scrunching into his neck like a desperate turtle.

Logan let out a small laugh himself, slowing down his tickling as everyone watched Remus fall into the most helpless giggles any of them had ever heard.

"Oh, goodness," Patton whispered, clearly delighted. Virgil was outright snickering at his friend's demise, and Janus' was watching on with a hopelessly romantic expression on his face.

"This is what you get for starting it all!" Roman declared, every inch of him clearly full of mirth. Logan peered down at Remus' bright red face, and brushed a bit of hair back from his sweaty forehead.

"Is that a very ticklish spot, Remus?" he asked. "Don't be afraid to tell me. I'll merely keep a note of it for later."

Remus shook his head. "I-- I--"

Immediately, Logan and Patton made eye contact. Remus sounded more wheezy than he had a moment before.

Their mouths opened at the same time, but to their surprise Roman had already pulled his hands away, a worried twinge in his eyes as he watch Remus calm down.

"Are you okay?" he asked immediately. "Did I go to far?"

Remus coughed once, causing Virgil and Janus to look even closer with matching nervous frowns to see if he was okay.

"I..." Remus said slowly. "I'm..."

Silence, for a beat.

And then Remus attacked: sitting up, pushing Logan away, and body slamming Roman until he was flat on the ground, all in one swift move.

"I'm gonna get you, Ro-Bro," he hissed, and there was nothing but giddy joy in his voice as he began tickling his brother right back.

Everyone in the group jumped as Roman screamed, loud, at the surprise tickle attack. There was a scrabble of limbs as the twins wrestled, shouts of laughter filling the room and making everyone giggly again.

"Play nice, boys!" Patton called out. Remus looked up, his tongue poking out of the corner of his cheeky smile.

"Yes, Daddy!" he replied. The he immediately dove down and blue a raspberry against Roman's tummy. The other side shrieked yet again.

"That's not nihihihice!"

Remus cackled evilly, and Patton considered stepping in himself to give that stinker a taste of his own medicine, but before he could move someone else beat him to it: Virgil, who wiggled off Patton's lap and onto the floor, crawled over to the two wrestling Sides, and attacked Remus' ribs with a flurry of fingers.

The snort that Remus released cracked through the room, and now he was the one laying on the floor, writhing helplessly as Virgil attacked him.

"I got you, Princey," he called over the fray, smirking at his boyfriend as Roman caught his breath. "Now hurry up and help me finish him."

Roman grinned brightly. "With extreme pleasure."

He dove in as well, and between the two of them Remus was well and truly screwed, batting at the four hands that were now wrecking him from every side. He tried to give back what he was getting, but it was just too easy to overpower him.

Logan's chuckles were low, but Patton could hear them despite the noise in the room. The two locked eyes and shared a secret smile before Logan's eyes drifted over to Janus, still half-sitting on Patton's lap.

"What about you?" he called. "Don't you want to help Remus?"

"He got himself in that mess," Janus said, cheeks flushing again as he looked at the tickle fight in the middle of the room, "and I'll have nothing to do with it."

Like a horror movie jumpscare, Remus shoved his upper body towards the couch, making both Janus and Patton squeak with surprise.

"Yes you will!" he said between giggles, and before anyone else could react he grabbed Janus haphazardly and yanked him backwards, making them both tumble back onto the floor-- and into the middle of Roman and Virgil's tickle attack.

"Human shield!" Remus screamed. He locked his hands behind Janus' back, keeping his boyfriend trapped on top of him.

"Wait-- no! No, no, Remus, nohohohoho!"

But it was too late: Roman and Virgil took no time at all diving in to tickle Janus all over his back and sides as he shrieked and squealed and squirmed.

"Evil!" Janus shrieked, trying desperately to push off of Remus' chest. "No-- no kisses until you letmegohohoho!"

Virgil cooed, leaning closer to Janus' ear. "Aw, you don't wanna kiss your boyfriend? Sucks for you, Jan." He finished the statement with leaning over to press a kiss to Roman's cheek, causing their respective brothers to make noises of disgust.

"You're dissssssssssgusting!" Janus gasped through his laughter. He gathered his strength and shoved Roman away from his little brother, drilling his fingers into Roman's ribs as the other side fell back on his haunches.

"Nah-- ahaha-- no!" Roman gasped. He keeled forward, grinning and giggling against Remus' stomach. Virgil tried to reach forward to push Janus' hand off of Roman, only for Remus to easily grab the anxious side's wrist and hold his arm out for Janus' other hand to dive under with wiggling fingers.

Around and around and around it went-- hands and fingers and curses and teases and giggles flew. Roman blew breathless raspberries against Remus' tummy while Janus fought to keep his fingers vibrating wildly under Virgil's arm. In turn Virgil dove down to scrabble his nail's blindly against Janus' back, while Remus did the same on either side of Roman's neck. The peals of laughter rose and melded into one loud happy harmony, and it wasn't long before the four of them were breathless with giggles, tickling without even seeing who they were attacking.

It was messy, chaotic, and perfect. Just like their family.

Patton wasn't sure when things had started to slow down. All he knew was that there was a sudden drop in the volume of the twins laughter-- it seems they had finally tired themselves out, and were now panting heavily from their disheveled positions on the living room floor. Virgil's giggles still rang through the air, albeit less desperate and more happy than anything else, until Janus relented with one final squeeze to his brother's belly before he, too, flopped back to the floor.

There they lay, those four Sides, curled like pretzels in a giant puppy pile, catching their breath and letting their last few giggles peter out. Patton took the time to examine the room: furniture shoved out of place in the mad scrambles to escape the tickles, the couch cushions were pulled out and squashed against the floor, and there was popcorn everywhere. He made eyes with Logan, expecting to see that familiar chagrin he knew so well, but was instead greeted with a look of nose-wrinkled affection.

"Blankets?" he mouthed, and Patton grinned. He reached over and grabbed one of the blankets they'd been using on the couch, and without warning threw it over the four Sides on the floor.

"Ah!" Virgil yelped first; he was the only one who saw it coming, but that half-second warning wasn't enough to save him or the others from getting absolutely draped in the oversized blanket. "D-- Patton!"

"Hm?" Patton said, grabbing the other two blankets and flinging them on the pile with ease. "Can't hear you!"

Someone was giggling again from inside the pile, probably Remus. Janus emerged first, his hair adorably mussed.

"Patton. Why."

"You looked so comfy! I wanted to help!"

"You could've helped us off of the floor."

"Aw, but you looked so cute down there." Patton giggled, lightly kicking at Janus' shoulder, causing him to hiss with displeasure.

Logan gave a light laugh. "You all did just play a very strenuous game." He reached out and patted a random ankle that was sticking out of the pile; it jerked back in over-sensitive self defense, Roman's gasp of laughter giving away its identity.

"Remus started it," came his muffled response. Remus blew a raspberry, worming his way out from underneath the covers.

"Oh, please, I didn't do shit! It was Pattycake!"

"Yes, it was!" Patton said proudly. "And I'd do it again!" Without warning he slid himself onto the floor and grabbed Remus around the waist, holding the squawking Side in a tight hug.

"My little kiddos," he cooed, and yes he knew he was laying it on thick but that was part of the fun. "Having so much fun together! It makes Logan and I so happy when you all play so nicely, I'm very proud of you--"

"Fine okay enough!" Janus shrieked; Virgil was reduced to desperate hissing as Roman buried his face in his hands. Remus pretended to gag, but Patton could feel how tightly he was returning the hug.

"Alright," Logan said warmly, silencing the group. "Let's regroup. Roman, Janus, will you fix the pillows and blankets, please? Virgil and Remus, go get some more snacks-- preferably ones that won't make a mess when thrown."

Patton watched as the other Sides, with good-natured grumbling, began working together to get their movie night back on track. It made something heavy in his chest get a little bit lighter.

He started when he realized Logan had joined him back on the couch, this time sitting right next to him. The two locked eyes, unable and unwilling to stop the soft smiles growing on their faces. Logan fumbled for Patton's hand, and he turned it over so they could lock their fingers together.

It was just another silly day in the Mind Palace. And there were so many more to come.

[hrrorflm]

I want to hear you.

Sebastian Vettel x fem!reader.

Warnings: fluff, a lot of fluff, English isn't my first language, age gap, slight mentions of sex.

It had been a pair of difficult days for you, between school and the problems at home, aside your own problems between missing Sebastian for his job and your insecurities hitting all the time for feeling not being enough as a friend and a girlfriend, everything makes you feel bad and sad. At least today was friday, which means you can be able to have some rest from the major part of your responsabilities and enjoy some time for yourself but still something was bother you. And the fact of your mother taking it out on you for a fight with her boyfriend was not the way you wanted to be welcomed home after a very long and tiring day.

The walk to your room feels like you're walking a hundred miles, until you finally walk in and the tears begin to roll down your cheeks, the low sobs and the pounding of your fists against your legs become all you can think about. Dropping the backpack on the floor, the best thing you can do is shorten the distance between your tired body and the bed, just to drop there and hug yourself. How much you wish you were in Sebastian's arms right now, listening to his soft, calm voice with that accent you can still make out perfectly, taunting him every time he tries to hide it and it comes out.

There is nothing in the world that can make you feel happier and safer than Sebastian, listening to him talk to you, whispering sweet words in your ear and putting his arms around you every time he is close to you. And like a divine sign, or maybe a special connection that binds you to him, the phone in your room starts ringing, not wanting to disturb anyone you pick up the receiver and answer, trying to hide that you've been crying.

"Hello".

"Honey, what's wrong? Did something happen? Are you okay?" The tone in Sebastian's voice lets you see that he's worried about you, so trying to calm your breathing and sobs, you answer a little more calmly, "It's just, it's just that I've had a rough couple of days, and I miss you. It's been so hard being away from you, without you, I needed to hear your voice."

"My voice?" A soft laugh is heard on the other end and a small smile is inevitable on your face, for which you immediately respond "Don't laugh! I like hearing your voice, it's like a calming." Sebastian can guess that there's a smile on your face, and that makes him feel better after hearing you cry at first. "Why? I sure sound like an idiot, love", he's trying to make you laugh, cheer you up, you know it perfectly. That's how he is, always wanting the best for you. "I like listening to you because you transmit peace to me, and it reminds me of the first time we met, it was the strangest thing in the world."

The first time they met, Sebastian walked into the same bakery you were in, quite a coincidence. And his gaze, unable to move away from you at all times even though he avoided your gaze every time you tried to catch him, led you to ask him not very nicely if he was looking for something or if he knew you. The blush on his face and the multiple hasty apologies he told you was the funniest thing about it, and the fact that you looked too young in that short pink dress didn't helped at all, but his voice was definitely the icing on the cake, because even though he looked very embarrassed, his voice remained calm.

The silence that existed between you for a couple of seconds was the key for him to ask about your state of mind. "May I ask why the love of my life was crying?" sounds sweet, kind, and you're totally grateful.

"A fight with mom, I've been feeling so stressed with homework and tests, and I've felt so left out by my friends, I don't know, maybe I'm just overthinking."

"Did your mother get mad at you, love?" Sebastian knew perfectly well that your mother suffered from bipolar disorder, and that sometimes that didn't turn out well for you because you were the one who had to deal with the constant mood swings, which also ended up for affecting you.

"I think so, she had an argument with her boyfriend, I don't know, but I was there to take out her anger so I ended up paying the piper" you shrugged even if he couldn't see it, but it was something he figured you would, after all, he knew you like the back of his hand.

"I'm so sorry, sweetheart, but you'll see that with the new treatment your mother will feel better in less than you think," he murmured softly, hoping that would calm you down a bit.

"I know, I just wish she realized that all of that hurts me, and who he should be mad at doesn't," the helplessness in your voice makes Sebastian sigh. Sometimes all he wants is to take you everywhere and keep you happy and safe. Your voice comes back through the earpiece "but thank you, my love, thank you for listening to me."

"You know I do it because I love you" his sweet voice reaches your heart, and that makes you smile. "Hey, I know something that will cheer you up", opting to change the topic of conversation to not continue on it, his voice takes on a playful and hoarse tone, so you can already guess what it is going to be about.

"Sebastian, I'm not going to do that to you again! Last time I couldn't stop laughing and I almost got caught", her laughter soon becomes present and you catch it, remembering the first time they tried to have a sex call.

"Why not? You don't like me anymore? Surely you have a new boyfriend and that's why you don't want to do it", you know he must be making a dramatic gesture with his face because his voice is totally a mess trying to hide his laughter, and your cheeks are colored a soft red.

"Yes, he does it to me like a god every time we see each other, but that happens every two weeks" your giggle makes him smile and his ego feels alluded to by what you just said, so the call continues like this, between laughter and an occasional attempt by Sebastian to ask you what you're wearing.

There is nothing better in the world than listening to your boyfriend, and even more so when he encourages you not to fall, worrying about you and listening to you every time, reminding you how much he loves you and how important you are to him.

[milkywaygalaxygurl]

Training Wheels - Coriolanus Snow

Hello everyone! First fic I'm posting in years and it's about the.. lovely? Coriolanus Snow! He will be very OOC in this fic because I struggle with writing dark characters so I apologize for that lol but I hope you guys enjoy!

Pairing: OOC!Coriolanus Snow x Female!Reader

Warnings: slight angst?, Coriolanus Snow (yes he deserves a warning even tho he’s nice in this fic lol), everything in BOSAS didn’t happen (sorry not sorry lol), slight hinting towards reader’s mother being mean?, reader gets hurt in a flashback, umm if i missed anything lmk!

Word Count: 1.4k

Inspired by Training Wheels by Melanie Martinez! Reader and Coriolanus have been friends since they were young and have had a “Will they/Won't they?” relationship since they were young teenagers. Everyone knows they’re madly in love with each other and at times it seems they know it too, but nothing ever comes of it. They’ve gone on dates and shared kisses, but have never gone further than that. Reader is tired of the dynamic they’ve built, but Coriolanus wants to continue doing what they’ve been doing for years.

I explode, I explode

Askin' you where you want us to go

This wasn’t the first time you had gotten frustrated with Coriolanus about your relationship, or lack thereof, after he had kissed you. When whatever this was had started you kept your mouth clamped shut about your frustrations, but now that it had been going on for years you couldn’t keep yourself from getting upset with your best friend.

“Where exactly do you plan on this going, Coryo? You kiss me and take me on dates sometimes, but other times I’m just your best friend! We’ve been doing this since we were fifteen!” You are seated on his bed while he paces the room, running his hands through his hair in a frustrated manner. He had very quickly pulled himself away from you the second you had decided to bring up the subject he seems to hate.

“I don’t know, (Y/N). Can’t you just be happy with this?” Coriolanus looks up at you as you scoff, shaking your head.

It's not like I'm askin' to be your wife

I wanna make you mine, but that's hard to say

Is this comin' off in a cheesy way?

“I was fine with it when I was fifteen because at least you were giving me something, but we’re eighteen now! I should be building a relationship with someone, but instead I’m stuck doing this back and forth with you!” You try not to sound harsh, to sound mean, but everything about this whole situation was frustrating you. Coriolanus stays silent, but he stops pacing to stare down at his feet.

“I’m not asking you to marry me, Coryo! I just want to know what you want to do, we can’t keep wasting each other’s time doing this!” You gesture between you two wildly, your hand dropping when he looks up at you. He opens his mouth to speak, but closes it again before a sound comes out.

“I just.. I just want to be yours, Coriolanus. Is that too much to ask? I know this is cheesy and cliche, but..” You trail off, trying to find the words to perfectly describe how you feel. This was the first time you had ever stated that you want to be his, you had always managed to tiptoe around the statement despite making it obvious what you wanted whenever you spoke your frustrations.

I love everything you do

When you call me fuckin' dumb for the stupid shit I do

“I’ve been in love with you since I was fourteen. I think it was longer, but I didn’t realize it until you yelled at me that one time for being stupid and getting myself hurt.” You chuckle, looking down at your hands in your lap.

Nobody had expected you to actually do it when Arachne dared you, but you were young and desperate to prove yourself to your peers. Normally Coriolanus would have been there and put an end to the situation immediately, but he had been caught up talking to a teacher today. As a result, you found yourself climbing up one of the pillars of The Academy building. You were actually doing good, you had managed to find a way to pull yourself up the round pillar and made it about halfway up before you heard Coriolanus’ voice.

“What are you doing, (Y/N)?!” He called up to you, his tone worried and frustrated. It made you jump and lose your grip on the pillar, sending you flying towards the ground. Everyone laughs when you smack the ground, but Coriolanus jumps forward to help you while telling the others to make themselves scarce. Your satchel had cushioned the fall, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. You thankfully had landed in a way that you didn’t hit your head, but your tailbone took the brunt of the landing. Coriolanus knew it hurt from the way tears slid down your cheeks, he hadn’t seen you cry from getting hurt since you guys were eight years old.

“What were you thinking, (Y/N)?! How dumb can you be?!” Coriolanus voice was harsh, but his hands were gentle as he checked your legs and hands for scrapes. When he was sure you didn’t have any life threatening injuries, he sighed in relief and carefully pulled you into his lap.

“It hurts so bad!” You sob, latching on to Coriolanus. He shushes you, rubbing your back and rocking you as if you were a child. He had learned to comfort you when you guys were young, doing his best to emulate the way his mother had comforted him when she was still alive. He had witnessed the way your mother pushed you away every single time you sought comfort and decided he’d do his best to be there whenever you needed it.

“I realized that nobody had ever cared about me like that, you were the only person in my life to immediately come to me when I was hurt. Even when you called me dumb, you were still gentle with me and made sure I was alright. After that, I began to fall in love with all the things you did.” You smile at Coriolanus, looking up from your hands so you could see his face. His expression had softened, his lips upturned in a small smile. He’s quiet for a moment before he speaks softly, moving to sit next to you on the bed.

“I think that was the moment I realized I loved you way more than a friend should.” Your breath catches in your throat at his words, it feels as if your whole body just malfunctioned if you’re being completely honest. He reaches for your hand and you quickly return the favor, entwining your fingers.

“I wanted to keep doing what we’ve been doing because I’m scared if we make it official, there might come a day where it ends and I lose you. I wouldn’t know what to do without you, you’re the only person besides Tigris and Grandma’am who I’ve let know the real me.” His other hand comes up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his eyes flitting across your features. You smile softly at him, taking your hand out of his to cup his face.

“You could never lose me, Coryo. I love you too much to not be in your life, even if we do make it official and it happens to end I could never just stop being apart of your life. Which, by the way, I very much doubt we would break up because we’ve loved each other for this long without any problems.” You giggle and Coriolanus chuckles, shaking his head. You run your thumbs across his cheeks, trying to convey all the love you can into that simple gesture. He reaches up to hold one of your wrists, rubbing the back of your hand softly as he closes his eyes to bask in the moment.

After a moment, he takes your hands from his face and holds them tightly in his own. “I’m sorry I’ve made you wait so long for this, but at least I’m asking now.” You both laugh and tears spring to your eyes from excitement. You felt silly crying over this, but you’d always been one to cry whenever you were happy.

“Will you be my girlfriend, (Y/N)?” Coriolanus barely gets the words out before you’re tackling him in a tight hug, causing him to fall back on his bed. You both shake with laughter and Coriolanus wraps his arms around you, kissing the side of your head.

“I take that as a yes?” He chuckles and you pull back, smiling brightly. Coriolanus takes a moment to study your features, a lovesick look in his eyes and a small blush adorning his cheeks. The look on your face mirrors his, your lips split into a wide smile and your eyes so full of love.

“I would love to be your girlfriend, Coryo.” Just as you finish speaking he’s pulling you down into a kiss. The kiss is different than any other kiss you’ve ever shared, all the unspoken love and affection built up over the years spilling into it.

“Finally, you two! I thought I was going to be Grandma’am’s age by the time you two confessed!” Tigris’ voice from the doorway causes you two to separate, all three of you falling into a fit of giggles.

[honeysuckleharringtons]

Part Seven: "Pour Over" ~ S. Harrington

Summary: (Then) Between postpartum blues and her baby's needy coos, Reader's having a hard time adjusting to her new life. But she quickly learns that sometimes you get by with a little help from your friends. — (Now) After dealing with her fussy child all night, the last thing Reader wants is a complicated day at work. Luckily for her, a certain nurse knows just how to make her day a little easier.

Pairing: Nurse!Steve Harrington x Fem!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 1,640

Content Warning: postpartum talk, anxiety talk, mentions of vomit (nothing in detail though), very mild swearing, mild hospital talk, mentions of food, lmk if i missed anything!

Extra Notes: yall i am so so so sorry that this took me so long to finish, more on this later but rn all i have to say is the world's biggest apology 😭

Originally Written: 01/06/2024 through 01/23/2024 (i'm so sorry)

honeysuckleharringtons main masterlist can be found here!

'brew and me' series masterlist can be found here!

[ Then, February of 1988 ]

At this point, you weren't sure how you hadn't died from sleep deprivation.

It had been a whole two weeks since the baby was born, and you were pretty sure you hadn't slept a wink since. One sleepless night had turned into two, and well… now you couldn't remember the last time you had slept.

The clock on the wall told you it was nearing three in the morning, the blackness outside the windows further proving that fact. The baby was once again crying, and no amount of midnight feedings or diaper changes or rocking her in the rocking chair had done the trick. You were warned about colic, but nothing could've prepared you for what it would be like in real time.

Another new nightly ritual was a tired Joyce stumbling into your bedroom, eyes heavy and feet shuffling. You knew exactly what she had in mind, but your Byers genes were far too stubborn to accept her offer.

“Mom, we're fine,” you insisted from your spot in the rocking chair. But even you knew that to the naked eye, you surely didn't look fine. Unwashed hair, blanket tossed messily over your lap, purple spots nearly black underneath your eyes.

Joyce just sighed from her spot in the doorway. “Honey, you are clearly not fine. Don't take this the wrong way but you're a mess.” The comment almost hurt you, though you supposed you appreciated your mother's honesty.

“I'll be okay,” you insisted. “It's not my first sleepless night.”

She moved to sit on the edge of your bed, across from the newly placed rocking chair and crib. “That's the problem, honey. You need sleep. You can't properly be there for her if you-”

“I can't leave her.”

“Don't get enough sleep and-”

“Mom, I can't-”

“You need to eat something too, honey. I mean, when was the last time you-”

“Mom!” you raised your voice this time, effectively cutting her off. “I cannot leave this baby.”

Joyce let out a long sigh, running a hand through her already messy hair. “If you don't take proper care of yourself, exhaustion is gonna hit you like a freight train. Then what?”

You supposed she might be right. But still, her comments couldn't make you see past your postpartum anxiety, worst case scenarios running rampant through your mind.

“What if something happens to her while I'm asleep?” you asked, voice weak. “Or what if she thinks I left her, just like…” you couldn't finish the statement before tears began to prick your eyes.

“Y/N, you know that me and Will would never let anything happen to this baby.” You could tell by her tone that she was being genuine, though both of you knew her words were useless when it came to your anxiety. “We love both of you. We would never let anything happen to her.”

Tears pricked your eyes as your panicked thoughts ran rampant. “What about Dad?”

She nearly fell off the bed after hearing your question. “Dad? What does Lonnie have to do with-”

“I keep having this weird feeling in my gut that Dad is gonna try something with her,” you explained, tears fully soaking your cheeks now. “Like he's going to try and take her from me.”

“I would never let that happen.” Joyce's words weren't a suggestion. She said them with such finality that you were tempted to believe her. “Lonnie walked out of here seven years ago. He hasn't gotten in here yet and I will make damn sure he doesn't get in now.”

Your heart was racing a million beats a minute. You weren't really sure why—other than postpartum anxiety—that Lonnie had been on your mind. But just the thought of him sent shivers up your spine and tears down your face.

Clinging harder to the bundle in your arms, careful not to hurt her but still holding her closer, you rocked gently in the chair in hopes of calming both yourself and the baby. Her cries had yet to subside, if anything they'd just grown louder.

“Mom, I'm so scared,” you finally broke. Even you could hear the weakness, the brokenness, the defeat in your voice. “What if I'm doing this all wrong?”

Joyce stood again, with that same finality as her words from earlier. “I'm not here to tell you how to raise your baby. You're the mother now and you know what's best for you and her,” she started, the words stern but gentle. “But I am here to give you advice as a mother myself. Babies can sense things. Maybe she's upset because you're upset.”

And with that, Joyce was stepping toward the door, reaching for knob, and then-

“Okay.” The word came out as defeated as you felt. “I'll let you have her just long enough for me to shower and eat something.”

She turned to face you with a small smile, not one of smugness or one of someone proving a point, but one that showed you that she was simply just glad to help you out. She left a soft kiss on your forehead as she took the baby from your arms, quickly taking your place in the rocking chair as you headed over to your dresser.

“Mom?”

Her smile went a little sideways as she looked up from the baby to you. “Yeah?”

“I love you. Don't ever forget that, okay?”

With a small nod, Joyce replied, “I won't. Don't you forget that I ditto.” A phrase that had been around since you were little. You weren't sure who started it, but in this moment you were thankful for it, five letters meaning the absolute world to you.

You walked over, leaving a peck to the prickly hairs you'd been seeing so much of these days, warmth filling the entire expanse of your body. “I love you, bub.”

“I'm sure she dittos you too, honey.”

[ Now, January of 1992 ]

A loud yawn sounded from the other side of the counter, breaking you from your own mess of sleepy thoughts. “Me too,” you chuckled as you looked up, a yawn slipping between your own lips. Dark hair and round glasses met you, purple spots thick underneath his eyes. “You look about as tired as I feel.”

Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “I wouldn't have known it if you hadn't mentioned it,” he said. A crease formed between your brows as you wondered what he meant. “You look as nice as you always do.”

He set a new record for how quickly he'd ever made butterflies go off inside you. “Careful, Doc, or I'll think you're flirting with me,” you said through the crimson blush that had started to appear on your cheeks.

“Sorry,” he said sarcastically, “Must be the sleep deprivation from the double I just pulled.”

You cringed at his words, knowing all too well what that felt like. “I know the feeling. I might as well have pulled my own double after staying up all night with my dau-”

The word got caught in your throat as you realized what you were about to say. “Dog,” you covered quickly, hoping your lie flew over Steve's head.

On the outside, you were hoping to appear calm and cool. On the inside, you were face palming. You'd been sleep deprived many times before, considering you once had a baby on your hands who had colic from the day she was born. Not to mention being a mother made you miss sleep in many ways of its own. But you couldn't recall a time where you'd been so sleep deprived that you almost spilled your biggest secret to a practical stranger, much less a practical stranger who you were actively avoiding telling the secret to.

“I didn't know you had a dog,” Steve said with furrowed brows, his voice bringing you back to reality.

Even though you hated to lie to him, you were thankful that your job had given you the ability to think fast. “Yeah, she must've eaten something she wasn't supposed to. She was up all night throwing up.” The real story was that Mandy had snuck into the kitchen to eat the rest of her leftover Christmas candy after you told her not to, but Steve didn't have to know that.

“Plain rice helps.”

His reaction caught you off guard. “Huh?”

“Plain rice can help a dog's upset stomach,” he explained. “If it keeps happening though, you should definitely take her to a vet.”

Steve's suggestion was oddly sweet, and honestly tugged at your heartstrings a little bit. “Thank you for the tip. Out of curiosity though, how do you know about caring for a sick dog?”

His broad shoulders shrugged, and you tried not to drool at the sight of them. “I almost went to vet school. Boy, would that have made my dad mad. Not that med school has made him any less angry.” As if realizing he was rambling, an awkward chuckle slipped between his lips and he turned his attention to the menu. “You didn't ask. Anyway, what do you recommend?”

“Nice try,” you answered, rolling your eyes. “But for you, I recommend going home and getting some sleep.”

Steve chuckled, and the sound went straight to your belly. “Hey, you don't have to tell me twice. I just pulled a double and I have to be back on campus for classes in about five hours.”

Part of you wanted to tell him to just take the night off and get some rest. Another part of you wanted to drive him home yourself and tuck him in. “I do not envy you,” you giggled. “To answer your original question though, how does a strawberry smoothie sound?”

He met you with a closed-lip smile, one that had started to feel so comforting and oh so familiar these days. “That sounds perfect.”

So this is about a month late...

I want to apologize for being gone with no announcement or explanation. Lots of things have happened in the past couple weeks that have taken a severe toll on my mental health and I just haven't really had the time to write, much less the energy.

I am feeling a little better and I have talked to my boss about my hours so I'm hoping that'll help somewhat. I really miss giving you guys content and I miss interacting with you guys.

Anyway, I hope you're all doing well! ❤️

-> taglist: @dungeons-are-too-cold @ducky-died-inside @awkotaco24 @liberhoe @princesseddie @corrodedseraphine @manuosorioh @esoltis280 @hazydespair @frostandflamesfanfic

[tyfinn]

Fic Writing Review 2024

Thanks for tagging me @stereopticons!

Sometimes taking a look back on the past year at something I really enjoy doing helps put things in perspective. For me, it was a chance to clear my head from some of the chaos happening IRL, and to tell myself it was okay to do something just for me that makes me happy.

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. This is not a contest to see who wrote the most, received the most Kudos, etc. This is just a look back at 2024 and to have a little fun with it. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Words and Fics 2024:

Words Written in 2024: 108,574 (spread out over 2 fandoms and some original works).

Fandoms I write for: Schitt's Creek and Heartstopper I also do some original work from time to time.

Psueds: tyfinn and Never Be the Same

Most Recent Drops: White Out for SC and Let Me Run My Fingers Through Your Hair for HS

Longest Fic in 2024: Legacy for SC and Punch Drunk and In Love for HS

Top Fics 2024:

Kudos: March With Me for SC and Punch Drunk and In Love for HS

Comments: March With Me for SC and Good Day, Charlie? for HS

Bookmarks: Legacy for SC and Punch Drunk and In Love for HS

Misc Writing Data:

Fic gifted to me: I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas

Fics I gifted in 2024: My Silver Lining Follow Me Only for You

Fics I had the most fun writing: March With Me for SC This was a daily flash fic venture. I did not write a lot of longer fics this year. I really enjoyed the prompts for this month.

Boo! for HS I really wanted to write a Halloween fic this year. I came up with the idea of Charlie wanting to go a Halloween party with Nick as a couple, but Nick was not out yet. By dressing up, Charlie got to see what it was like going out in public as a couple, and Nick would get to see that as well.

Characters I enjoyed writing the most: I will never get tired of writing David and Stevie. I'm also really starting to like getting into Nick and Charlie's heads. And then, of course, getting the chance to write about ace characters like Maddy and Isaac made me very happy.

Biggest challenge in 2024: I moved out of my fanfic comfort zone and entered 3 writing contests. (I even moved up to the next level in one of them!)

Plans for the rest of 2024: For SC, I am currently working on the Monthly Color Drabble Challenge for December White Out. I have a Secret Santa Gift Exchange that will be posted, and I'm working on a Frozen Over fic. For HS I'd like to write a Christmas Fic.

Plans for 2025: For SC, I have 2 multi-chapter WIPS I would really like to try and finish. And continue with the drabbles. Even if I'm not in the headspace to write a one-shot, the drabbles help to keep me engaged in the fandom. For HS, I have an AU multi-chapter fic I'm working on. I may want to try a daily flash fic for HS.

Most importantly in 2025? I hope to keep writing and that I continue to enjoy it.

No pressure tags (and apologies if you've already posted) @mammameesh @a-noble-dragon @ramonaflow @stargazer56 @characterassassination-at-9am

@jesuisici33 @wearpersistencewell @queenmabcreates @chelle-68 I know I'm missing a lot, so I'm including an open tag to anyone else who would like to share!

[quigonswife8]

Surprise visit: Shuri x fem college student reader

Shuri visits you at college

In love with this woman so bad. Also this is short, sorry.

Sidenote. I'm sorry that I've not been posting a lot, I've just been finding it hard to write :/

-----

As the new black panther Shuri has a responsibility and a duty to uphold, more than she usually did before that. This means spending most of her time being the protector, and less time with you.

She loves you more than anything and would devote all her time to you, but she can't, and you understand that. Besides with college you don't exactly have a lot of free time, either, and with it being exam week your week has been hectic.

You've had barely any sleep and with the sleep you have had, the dreams have been absent. Sleepless night's aren't rare, just more apparent during this week.

Shuri has been supportive, as always. While she can't visit you because of her busy like, aka being the black panther, she does send you messages that make you smile. You do wish you could see her, just once.

----

The quiet hum of the radio greets you when you practically stumble into your dorm room. You're exhausted and a much needed sleep would make everything better.

"Ugh."

Slipping off your shoes and putting your bag down by the door, you lock the door. "finally" now you can relax. Slowly you turn around in the direction of the bed, when your dyes widen and you jump back in fright. Right hand moving to rest over your heart, and if you weren't awake, you are now.

"Shuri?!"

Your girlfriend is trying to hold back laughter, while you're trying to stop a heart attack from happening. She's so silent you would never have noticed her if you hadn't turned around. Makes sense though.

"Darling..." she raises from the bed and begins to approach you, her smile

"What are...what are you doing here?"

"I came to visit you." she moves her hands to rest on your arms. "...I hope that is okay...?"

"Of course." you reply, coming down from the shock. "...you just scared me."

You slip your hands into yours, giving them a quick queeze.

"...it's very sweet that you would visit me.."

Then, she smiles. Sure she has sent photos to you, but you have missed seeing her smile in person. Just seeing her is a welcome sight, what you've definitely needed.

"I'm so happy to see you, you don't understand." leaning forward, you press your face into her shoulder. Shuri chuckles, slipping an arm around your waist.

"I'm happy to see you too love." and she presses a soft kiss to the top of your head.

----

"I'm sorry that I haven't visited you. I have wanted to..." her hand slips into your right hand, which she then squeezes.

"...but I..."

"I know Shuri." glancing up through tired eyes, you smile at her. "...and I get it. You don't have to apologize." kindness and sincerity shining through your words. "...really."

It's moments like this, though rare, that mean a lot. Both of you have needed this...desperately. Now that you have it, you don't ever want to stop it, and if you could stay like this forever, you would. You can't, though, so you'll just cherish the time you have.

"Thank you.." she leans forward and presses a kiss to your lips. Her kiss is slow, and soft, and when you part for air you're smiling. Shuri? she finds your smile perfect. Misses seeing it.

She doesn't even realize how she's looking at you until you say "What...?" and she realizes she's doing the thing that she often does.

"I'm doing the thing aren't I?"

"Yeah..." bringing one of her hands to your lips, you press a kiss on her palm making her melt with you even realizing it. Oh the effect you have on her. "...but I love it."

Resting your head against her chest, the sound of her heart beat relaxes you more. You feel Shuri relax more into your touch, and she chuckles softly. "I love you." something she wishes she could say more often, and she hopes for you to say it back to. Of course you would but sometimes she has that fear that you won't.

"I love you too." which clears the worry she had, but she knows that worry that shouldn't have been there in the first place. Shuri lets out a soft sigh, relaxing again, and as she relaxes, she clears her mind.

Of everything happening, of all the stress, all she cares about most is you, and right now all she wants to give is all the love she hasn't been able to.

----

[aliteralgrizzlybear]

I'm just gonna rant under here

I would say "I miss feeling attractive" but I've never felt attractive a day of my life. I really just miss feeling like I could trust my own body and brain to function at any level at all.

The people who have sought me out as a romantic or sexual partner, to the very last of them, have done so with the hope of using me as a band-aid for personal issues. They've all wanted to feel wanted, loved, cared for, have wanted to have their physical and emotional needs met in some capacity that isn't happening in that moment of their lives. Often this is to their own detriment, because my aro ass sees sex as a hobby activity to engage with for fun with friends or other people I can trust and be safe with, and the people who pursue me want it to "mean" something romantic -- and even when they deny that, they routinely prove it with both word and deed. It's kinda fucked that I know for a fact that I can't trust anyone who acts like I'm attractive, regardless of whether or not they genuinely do, because I know what comes next: weird attempts at manipulation.

Everyone -- every single person -- who's ever propositioned me or lusted after me has basically been like "I want you to do XYZ to me and maybe we have a relationship after that jk! unless! but jk! Unless!" with zero consideration for anything I actually might want or feel. Even the people I'm currently fucking, if I'm being honest. I'm a receptacle where they want to dump their fantasies and insecurities in order to get love and sex in return, and I get to feel like I'm straight up being used for indirect self-sabotage and self-harm (and sometimes it's not even indirect!)

And it, uh, Fucking Sucks. I'm sick of it.

It's not even just the occasional people who want to fuck, honestly. I feel like I'm treated like a free therapy and emotional dumping space for literally anyone, even family a ton of my friends, because I have The Audacity to speak openly about my emotions once in front of them. It isn't the "oh, you have this issue, I'll share my issue so you know I at least kind of understand" thing, it's "oh you revealed you had feelings other than Happy, now I'm going to overrun every conversation by talking about All the things going wrong in my life as soon as you say hi! Did you want to talk? Too fucking bad! Actually you're a bad person for wanting say anything or get any emotional fulfillment or connection out of this interaction, and you owe me an apology I'm not even going to accept."

I'm fucking tired.

[spaceorphan18]

I'm just thinking out loud about things, please don't mind me.

I have a tendency to only blog about my life when it's going badly, and I mean it makes sense - in that sometimes you want to have a space to kind of think out loud and let it out. I'm sure most sane people journal or talk to a bff. I vent to an audience of strangers on the internet. Because I'm weird like that.

But, here's the thing, I'm not doing badly this time! Really, this is the sanest I've felt in a long time, and it's probably due to the fact that I've actually let myself rest (and got one part of my living space picked up). But I do have a lot of things on my mind, so this is me just kind of word vomiting about things kind of as an update as to where my life is at.

On Health: I think the tricky thing this year has been more my physical health than the mental. I'm mentally in a much better place than I was a year ago, and that's great. Now I have to get the physical side back in shape. I've had to run through different kinds of medication lately, and I think things might be straightened out? Also, I was sick most of last week, which didn't help. But I feel decent now - and I'm really hoping it'll stay that way, because I'm just so tired of not feeling well.

On Work: Work as been a lot. We fired the woman who was giving us problems - for anyone who wondered how that whole thing turned out. There's a lot of change happening, and some drama - which I've been grateful I have not been a part of. It's a lot. It's always a lot a lot a lot, but it's not Indiana. As hard and stressful as things can get here... it's not Indiana.

On Glee Things: Now that I'm kind of in a better mental space about it -- I think it'll be best if I just take a step back from any kind of community related thing. I think the thing I keep coming back to me is that Glee is just a part of me now. It's been with me for so long that it's very personal and between the weird up rising of fans who really are only seeing things in Black and White and the obtuse-ness of K and J's podcast sometimes I just can't with it anymore.

The tournament is going to play out quickly and then I'm done with that. Yes, I'm still writing. Yes, I'll still say my thoughts about the things Darren said. No, I'm never really going to go anywhere.

But I don't really want to be a part of the large fandom anymore.

That said -- I think what else has been bothering me is the fact that I miss so many people. The community that I was a part of just doesn't seem to be there anymore. And, I mean, I get it -- lots of people move on. Lots of people are busy. And there are a few of you that have been around and aren't going anywhere, either, and I do see you! But sometimes I wonder if I've come full circle in that I'm talking into an empty void again.

On X-Men things: Meanwhile, guys. I have a lot of thoughts. Marvel has always had a yo-yo effect on me, and I just have gone down the rabbit hole again. It's making me happy, and breaking my heart in the best possible way, and still making me happy. I apologize up front, because there are going to be a lot of X-Men things coming. (As usual, i'll tag it all)

On Reading: Idk, I just want to read more. I have a huge pile of things to read. And I just want to be more consistent about it.

On taking a freakin' break: My vacation is two weeks away. I'm going to take the pressure off myself and just let myself have a break, because I think that's what I really need.

Thankfully, it's spring, and this is my absolute favorite time of year as it gets warmer out.

Don't be a stranger, guys, I do love talking to all of you.

(And eventually, i'll get that queue going again.)

<3 <3

[justaboutjane]

Memories of a little house wife named Jane

(Note in case no one gets it: this is framed like a blogger posting about a diary they found that happened to be Jane's/Odette's back from when they were married to Alastor)

*blog begins

Hey there fellow lost and finders! Gabby Dabby here with another find! While exploring an abandoned house I found this diary that belonged to a...Jane...? Huh, for some reason the last name is scratched off. Should be interesting!

Let's GOOOO!

-------------------------

Entry #1

Date:

"From this day forward I promise to forever show my love for you, and forever be grateful to be your wife.

I promise to do what I can to hold you high up and support you wherever you go. For you have given me solace like no other in choosing me. I will accept you as you have accepted me.

I will have no need, for I will never go unfulfilled now that you have made me yours.

I pledge to stay by your side through sickness and health.

I devote to you, Alastor, my everlasting love.

The words of my vows I've had memorized for so long I finally got to pledge!

I just married the love of my life! I'm so happy!!

This journal will help me navigate how to be the best wife I can to Alastor! I will try to make weekly entries but maybe I might switch it up from time to time? Who knows?I'm still in disbelief even with the ring around my finger!

It happened. Someone accepted me for all my flaws, mistakes, and shortcomings!

Someone finally wanted me! And I wanted him too!

I'm just so happy!

--------------------

Here we have the first entry of a very clearly newly wedded bride....idk about you guys but this just drips with that pre feminist vibe and honestly she seems to need therapy already? I mean...but like at least she's happy right?

--------------------

Entry #2

Date:

Last night was amazing! I still am so giddy about being a wife! I'm so lucky!

Not only that but with the money we saved from just going to the courthouse we can now afford the move back to his home town for his new job!

Seeing him smile as he talks about it is worth far more than any wedding dress or fancy ring.

I even got to dance with my husband! I know he is usually uncomfortable with contact but he let it go just for me! It was amazing and he didn't even seem to mind how bad I was!

I love him so much!

----------------------

Entry #10

Date:

Haven't written in a while but that's because we were moving! And clearly I'm still very tired since I am apologizing to my own journal!

We have officially settled in and everything is like a dream. It's so beautiful here in Louisiana and his childhood home is amazing!

Alastor is so passionate about his radio work! It's hard not to get inspired by his determination and endless passion! He's had it ever since we were kids!

I'll make sure he has the best house I can keep, and the best meals I can cook for him to come home to!

Though I might have to find other ways since he also likes to cook and is generally very tidy.

I'm such a lucky woman to have him choose me.

Sometimes I wonder what I did to get to have someone as wonderful as him

Or if I even deserve it.

------------------------

😳 wow this girl is in need of some girl power bc she is clearly head over heels over this guy!

Real talk though I swear this guys name sounds really familiar for some reason.

--------------------------------

Entry #15

Date:

Alastor is leaving for a hunting trip so I guess I will be left all by my lonesome. It will be hard but thankfully I have what my mama used to teach me.

Whenever you miss someone you love you find a coloured paper that reminds you of them, fold it into a flower, and keep them in a drawer. That way the next time you fight or take them for granted you can look at your collection and remember how much you missed them when they were gone!

I used to spend days endlessly folding them since I lost my family. I was only 25 when the accident happened. I was so alone and my mind was constantly attacking me with horrible thoughts.

But then I ran into Alastor again after so many years and we connected so much.

And now that I'm his wife I find myself not needing to anymore. We accepted and supported each other.

I could never repay how much he saved me from myself. I never thought I could ever feel loved again.

--------------------

This entry is a little sad. I actually did find one of her paper roses in the pages but I threw it away...oops.

Which I bring up because I decided to try and...HOW THE FUCK DO YOU FOLD A PAPER ROSE!?

Seriously I've tried so many times and it's just??? How???? It was so pretty too 😩😩

Moving on.

----------------------------

Entry #20

Date:

He is home! Im so happy to see him!

Every time he never fails to make me smile! As he always says your never fully dressed without one!

I hope I can make him even a fraction of how happy he makes me.

Note: remember to start putting the date Jane. You always forget to note it first and then get distracted before looking at the calendar after writing and never get back to note it proper.

Get a grip girl!

-------------------

LMAO!!!! This woman is so me here!!!!!!!!

😂😂😂

--------------------------------

Entry #20

Date:

Today was a rough day. Alastor found a old photo of his mother...

It's so hard on him that she is gone.

She was such an amazing woman. I remember her from when I was a kid. She was always so kind and had so much love for Alastor. No wonder he is in such pain.

So far I find that he likes to talk about her a lot and I'm happy to listen. Sometimes he doesn't want anyone else near, but even then I will always make sure to show my support with a warm drink at his side.

Sometimes he wants nothing but to be held. It felt so selfish how my heart jumped the first time he laid his head on my lap and talked about his mother.

Alastor is so thoughtful and kind when it comes to her. It pains me so to see him miss her.

What's worse is that he has very little to remember her by since they had so little. The one thing he had was a pocket watch he lost in the bayou when he was little. I could tell he never forgot about it since he was able to tell me in extreme detail the area he lost it in and the very specific tree stump it's more than likely under.

As much as I wish I could magically make it reappear I'm afraid all I can do is be here to support him however I can. To help, I even folded a couple paper flowers for him since he seemed to struggle with it.

Anything to help my dear husband.

---------------

Looks like we have a MAMAS BOYYY!!

Real talk this is actually really sad/sweet

Sadeet? Swad?

Is there a word for that? Anyway...

-------------------------

Entry #21

Date:

Alastor is still torn up about his mother and I can't blame him. The way he lost her was truly tragic and no one should have to go through that. His bastard of a father got exactly what he deserved.

Alastor has decided to go on another hunting trip to try and get his mind off her. I did my best to hide my own selfish sadness at the prospect of him leaving again.

I need to be a better wife. I need to focus on what I can do to make him happy.

Maybe I can try to build up the wood storage for the fireplace while he is gone so he doesn't have to worry about it when he gets back!

----------------------

BITTERSWEET!

Also this entry has a touch of...iNsEcUriTy!

-----------------------

Entry #22

Date:

I FOUND THE STUMP!

I know for sure this is it! It even had the carvings he described! It has to be!

Is it possible? Probably not. Not only that but Alastor will be back in 3 days I probably shouldn't waste time on such frivolous delusions.

But I have to try, for him.

Anything to see him smile naturally again.

------------------------------

Entry #23

Date:

I failed today but I will try again tomorrow!

-----------------------------

Entry #24

Date:

I failed again but I will try again tomorrow!

------------------------------

Entry #25

Date:

I failed again, and I'm out of time... but I can feel that it's so close! I can't fail him!

-------------------

Entry #26

Date:

I found it. I actually did it...

It's been a couple days since he has come home and he is still smiling!

So much happened. But I need to write it all so I can forever keep this precious memory!

I was so scared that I did all of my digging for nothing, that I ruined my dress for nothing! I lost track of time to the point where I missed Alastor coming home.

But it was so worth it!

He was so cross with me when I approached him as filthy as I was! I was so lucky he gave me the moment I needed to show him what I found!

I will never forget how he stared at the pocket watch! I was worried for a moment but then...he hugged me!

He does usually but nothing like that before! And the kiss...it was unlike anything I've ever experienced! I'm still woozy from it!

Ever since he hasn't gone 10 minutes without looking at it with such care. Cleaned it all up real good too!

I'm so happy that I was able to actually find it for him!

------------------------

Just a heads up there are a lot of ruined pages so the entries are going to be a bit jumpy from here on out.

-------------------------

Entry #35

Date:

Alastor was so sweet to me today! I feel like the pocket watch brought us so much closer than ever before!

His kisses leave me so flustered now! To be held so close at night too...I never thought I could be so happy as I am now. Never did I think he could be so affectionate!

I could stay in his arms and starve to death from not eating and still be happy! Hell he could eat my body and I would be happy just to be with him still!

...that might have been a little unhinged.

-----------

😳 yes...yes it was...

-----------

Entry #36

Date:

I don't know if I have the ability to write right. I don't even know how it happened but we actually... I can't even write it I'm so flustered just thinking about it! It was so awkward, hurt a little, and neither of us knew what we were doing. But the moment felt so right.

The way he looked at me throughout the day, the way he kept lingering around me. I had a feeling something was up. Then...he asked me to try something with him... just thinking about how he whispered in my ear just....

Why does it feel so scandalous we have been married for so long at this point for Pete's sake yet Im sweating like a sinner in church just thinking bout it!

----------------------

My girl got laid~!

-----------------------

Entry #40

Date:

I haven't written in a while since I had to care for my husband when he fell ill. I dropped everything to care for him and I'm so glad that I did! He is doing so much better now!

He claims that me lying next to him while in his sickly state was an unnecessary hardship for me but honestly he could be covered head to toe in pig blood and my ass would still want to be as close as ever to him!

It's ok to crass in a journal right? I'm not going to ruin my chances of getting into Heaven with that one?

-------------------------

Awww she thinks she is being crass. Though they are just being a bit of a simp for their husband and it's kinda cringy. But also kinda cute!

------------------------

Entry #60

Date: 1929

The stock market has crashed.

Everyone is in a panic about what will happen to the economy. So many children have been made orphans because their parents have no way to feel or care for them. For goodness sake I even saw someone selling their children! How could the world be so cruel!?

As hard as it might be I will do what I can for my husband. Recently he has been struggling to afford his equipment for his job since his boss cut back on his funding.

I won't let him loose his dream job! I have to do whatever I can do to help him.

Luckily with the schooling I did to be a nurse I can maybe start helping my fellow neighbours to trade for food so we can cut back on our spending.

I only hope this depression ends soon.

-------------------------

Wow...that was quite the turn. So this chick was alive way back then! Shit is wild!

------------------------

Entry #72

Date:

I am holding up ok.

My body has gotten significantly weaker from my new depression diet but it is worth it.

Especially since Al has been able to afford his equipment! He doesn't know that I've been altering the budget books so he doesn't find out I've been lying about how much we spend on food. Thankfully saltine crackers and cabbage is still dirt cheap and prepping proper meals for 1 has cut back on our consumption significantly. I can live off cabbage and crackers for as long as it takes. Though I still worry.

Am I a horrible wife for lying to my husband?

-------------

Depression diet... nice to know she still had a sense of humour...totally distracts from the fact she is literally starving herself.. yep 😰

--------------------

Entry # 80

Date:

Al has been acting strange.

I can't ignore things that are happening in front of my own eyes. Even though I have nothing to prove anything is going on.

Maybe I just haven't seen it before, but recently I've come to realize some things.

He goes for hunting trips so much more now. Despite the depression! He tells me that since we have been able to save so much money he can afford the time off work. I feel like if I tell him the truth now it will only hurt him so much more!

It's my own fault anyway

He also tells me how he gives away all the meat he gets from game to help others through the depression.

I should be beaming with pride for my husband!

So why do I feel such a deep feeling of dread when he goes? Is it selfishness?

Why am I questioning my husband? I'm

supposed to be his wife! To love and trust him unconditionally! It's my own fault he thinks we have money!

...and yet something is pulling at me that has nothing to do with the money or food. What is this gnawing dark feeling that keeps looming over me?

---------------------

Entry #85

Date:

If our town didn't already have enough problems! I thought that now we had more food things would finally be ok!

I knew there was a reason I had such a sickening feeling whenever he left!

He was in danger! There is a killer out there who has butchered 2 people so far!! Everyone is so scared for their lives! I lay awake at night so frightful at the thought.

My dear Alastor I don't know how he keeps such a brave face. He seems so unbothered by the killings and even seems reinvigorated ever since he started reporting on them! No one seems to know how he gets his information. I don't even dare to ask, especially with how nosey everyone is being right now.

Still despite his confidence I am still fearful for my husband. What if he leaves and never returns home to me. What if I was to never be held by him again, to never feel his lips again, to be all alone again.

Please angels who reside in the heavenly gates. Please watch over my dear husband and protect him from evil.

---------------

DUDE there is a serial killer now!?

Actually now that I think about it I DO remember something about a serial killer that started killing a bunch of people around that time period that maybe had a small start before going like all in?? I don't know for sure

Yeah... I think it was like..they found a guy who got mistakenly shot by a hunter who thought he was a deer and when they looked into it they found all this crazy shit about how he was reporting on his own killings on...his...radio station...

no way

no FUCKING way

H..holy shit

Holyshitholyshitholyshitholyshitholyshit

Wait hold on I gotta check something right fucking now.....

HOLY FUCK HIS NAME WAS ALASTOR!

Wait....fuck, there isn't any mention of a wife here...shit. Oh well let's continue.

--------------------------

Entry #95

Date:

I don't even know what to think about what has happened.

I remember hearing the news of the latest killing. A radio host from another station.

I was so worried and scared I couldn't let him leave. I begged him.

I asked him to please stay with me. He told me no. I demanded that I go with him! I never even knew I could argue with him...Before I knew it we were arguing and then he was kissing me and his mouth tasted funny.

Then suddenly I woke up in our bed. He said that I collapsed suddenly and hypothesized how I might still be lacking in nutrition from holding out on eating proper meals for so long surviving on cabbage and crackers.

He promised to be as careful as he could and take no risks if I promise to stay safe at home and take care of my health.

I feel like I'm loosing sight of what is important. I tried to apologize for arguing with him and he simply said there was no need since it was natural to be worried for a loved one.

At least he knows I didn't mean to argue. I'm lucky he understands a little of how I feel. I'm also a bit embarrassed he noticed I was still holding back on eating out of habit.

----------------------

Did...did he just admit to knowing she was starving herself?

Also the bit about his mouth tasting funny and her collapsing suddenly???? Hello??? Ok....

----------------------

Entry #102

Date:

I know I shouldn't be upset. I know he is probably just stressed about work.

But I can't help but feel my husband is drifting away from me.

I know he doesn't like contact as much. So when he stopped kissing me as much I understood. I was still plenty happy with my little pecks!

But then he stopped showing up at home until really late. At first I was upset about him taking risks but I didn't have the heart to approach him about it again. After he yelled at me before.

He always looks so tired.

Did I do something wrong? All I did before was try to ask him to be more careful at night and he blew up at me about letting himself get too close?...now he seems to be weary of me.

How do I help him?

------------------------

Entry #106

Date:

Good news, the killings seem to have stopped for now

Bad news is that the killer is still not caught...

Alastor still seems to be quite distant and getting worse.

I try to show him my love as I did before. I tried sitting and getting him to talk to me but he usually will excuse himself to go to his study. He never eats with me anymore

Then this weekend I messed up so badly. I woke up to him pushing me off him, accusing me of causing him to sleep in. I know I've been struggling to stop myself from cuddling too close at night! Why didn't I remember to set myself up to stop it as I have been doing!

How could I be so careless? I'm so sorry Alastor!

---------------

....yikes.

---------------------

Entry: #120

Date:

It has been months of what has felt like torture. I feel horrible for wanting more, I promised that just being his was enough for me in my vows.

But this feels like such a strike to my heart.

I thought I was doing well in keeping up with my regiment and making sure I never got too close to him while sleeping again. I thought I was doing well at giving him space! As much as he needs!

So why tonight did he ask for me to sleep in the guest room from now on?

Am I that horrible of a wife? I don't know what to do...I feel like I'm loosing him. I don't know what to do!

Could someone please just tell me what to do?

------------------------

....this is getting just sad....

-------------------------

Entry 137

Date:

Things seem to finally be looking up!

He hugged me today! Apparently there is a job opening in the big city! His dream gig!

I'm so proud of him!

All he needs is enough money to move out of this town and afford a house!

I can help him! This is my chance to show him my love and how much I value him!

This is my chance to save my marriage! To show him that it's worth it!

That Im worth it.

-------------------

Why am I getting a really bad feeling about this...

Also the big city? Wonder where they are talking about...meh

---------------------

Entry #140

Date:

I have started working at a local diner just down the street for as many shifts as they can give me. I'm working round the clock almost 20 hours a day!

I am a bit scared since the killer hasn't been caught yet but I have to be brave! It feels this is my last chance to keep from loosing him!

Honestly the more I work I can't help but feel so selfish for not doing so sooner. Perhaps I could have convinced Alastor to let me before had I pressed more.

Before he would hear none of it. Said that it was insulting that I would even suggest such a thing since it was his job to take care of me.

Now he was more than up for it. Encouraged it even! It makes me a bit happy to see that he is seeing that I can also contribute towards his goals!

He was even ok with me selling my hair to the weird old guy down the street! I just have to focus on earning this money. I can't waste time on frivolous things... which is why I will not be writing another entry until we have reached the goal.

I promise Alastor. I would do anything to help you.

Just please. Don't leave

Let me prove to you just how much you mean to me!

--------------------

....can't decide if the fact that he is so ok with her selling her own hair is a bigger red flag than the old guy who is buying said hair...

WAIT FUCK THAT! It's the diner! What kind of diner lets someone work that many hours!?

-------------------------

Entry 141

Date:

We did it. After so many endless weeks, we finally did it!

We raised the money! He can finally achieve his dream of having a big time radio show in the big city!

I am so proud to be his wife!

He is so happy!

I know he is still a bit dismissive but hopefully! Hopefully soon we can leave this place and start anew.

I can win Al back!

I promise to be a better wife than I have been! I'll make up for all my mistakes and be the best wife!

---------------------

So...he is still being dismissive? What a dick...

There are only a couple entrees left...why do I have such a bad feeling about this

------------------

Entry 161

Date:

What have I done?

I didn't mean to. I don't even fully understand what I did...

I just wanted to make a special meal to celebrate raising the money with him... I was just trying to look to see if we had anything in the spare freezer and...

He was so mad at me....the things he said to me...I had no idea...

How could I have hurt him for so long? Trap him in a marriage he didn't even want? Touched him despite how much it revolted him.

How could I have done this to him. I didn't know I was causing him to suffer so much. He's so disgusted to even have to share his last name with me.

I'm so sorry Alastor.

I didn't know

I didn't know

I didn't know

Please...

Don't leave me.

Don't leave me

Don't leave me

Forgive me

------------------

Entry:

Date: 

------------------

Entry:

Date:

------------------

Entry:

Date:

he left me

-----------------

There isn't anything after that just torn up and crumbled pages....Holy shit...wait. Wait wait wait...Didn't this guy like...initiate like everything? Did...did he seriously gaslight her into thinking she forced HIM to suffer their entire marriage!?

THAT MOTHER FUCKER

Fuck-this-guy!! I just...rAHHhhHH!!!

Sorry fellow lost and finders I just need to be done right now....just... wow

Omg!

FUCK THAT GUY!

*End of Blog

I hope you all enjoyed my attempt at writing a backstory for Jane from when she was alive..

Now I'm super excited to write her backstory in the afterlife, and how she ended up in the hotel...(and for you all to meet Ricky...my oc who is a dumbass but endearingly so) think Wheatley from portal but a little less dumb. (Only a little at times)

Which by the way might also add some context to this story 😉 (Alastor is somehow an even bigger dick yet not?)

And then a 4 part series about how she ended up in a relationship again with Alastor