#[i can edit/redo if you like!]

[canon-gabriel-quotes]

Transcript:

I'd like to congratulate you on getting your CPR certification.

Now remember, when you’re going in for compressions, it should sound like somebody is standing behind you with the worlds largest Dorito and cracking it open!

Go in firm and hard and snap as many ribs as you can on the way down, that means you’re doing it right.

You save that life. Good luck.

Or... Or... Or kill them, I don’t fucking care.

Audio source

[lost-gp]

could he be lucky again?

lucky again x joan mir

[yumesei]

Little Java & Ammo fic because the brainrot won.

Summary : Sei hesitates about continuing to dye her hair so often. John encourages her and uses it as an opportunity to do it for her (again).

WC : 808

AN : First time posting my selfship writing here so I'm a bit anxious lol, please don't kill me guys (jk, I know all my mutuals are sweeties).

Sei sat cross-legged on the floor of the small bathroom of her quarters, a towel was draped over her shoulders and her usual pink hair dye was resting on the edge of the sink, while her phone was in her hand as she scrolled through articles about hair damage. Her fingers absentmindedly ran through the strands of her brown hair and pink-dyed ends. She tugged gently at one, frowning when it didn’t feel as soft as it used to.

When a knock on the door startled her out of her thoughts.

"Lass ? You in there ?"

"Yeah, come in," she answered. She put her phone on the ground as he stepped in, carrying a mug of coffee in one hand and his usual easy smile.

"Brought you somethin' to drink," he said, setting the mug on her desk. Then his eyes landed on her through the door frame leading to the bathroom. The towel drapped over her shoulders catching his attention.

"What's this? Dyein' your hair again ?"

Sei hesitated, her fingers curling around the ends of her hair. "I was thinking about it," she admitted. "But maybe I should stop. I feel like it’s starting to… I don’t know, ruin it ? What if I end up with straw for hair ?"

Soap crouched in front of her as he tilted his head to study her. "Straw ? That what's got you all worked up ?"

She rolled her eyes, "I’m serious, Johnny. What if I’ve been overdoing it ? Maybe I should just let it grow out, go back to plain brown."

He made a contemplative noise, his gaze dropping to her hair. Then reached out and carefully gathered a lock of pink between his fingers. "Plain brown, eh ?" he murmured, his familiar Scottish accent softening slightly.

"Nah. Doesn't suit you."

"Why not ?" she asked, her cheeks warming up slightly under his scrutiny.

Soap grinned, letting the lock of hair slip through his fingers. "Because you're not plain, lass. The pink suits ye. Bright, bold, a wee bit stubborn, just like you."

Sei’s heart swelled at his words, but she shook her head. "That's sweet, but it doesn't solve the problem. What if my hair can't handle it anymore ?"

Soap sat back on his heels, his expression turning serious for a moment. "Then we find a way to make it work," he said simply. "Get better dye, use those fancy treatments, whatever it takes."

She stared at him. "You're really not going to let me give this up, are you ?"

He smirked, reaching out to ruffle her hair.

"Not a chance. Besides, I like helpin' you with it. Gives me an excuse to play with your hair."

“Now, come on. Let’s get this sorted. I'll even help you pick a new shade of pink if you fancy a change."

Sei looked back at the bottles of hair dye that were still on the sink. "I fear we don't have much shades to choose from, just the usual one".

He smiled as he reached for one of the bottle. "The usual one is good too, it's your signature look after all". He played with the bottle a bit, spinning it in his hand before also reaching for the rest dyeing kit before setting back behind her. "Let's do this. Can't have you runnin' around with a washed up pink," he said smirking as he poured the content of the bottle into the small plastic container.

He started applying with a dexterity in his movements that only come from having done something multiple time.

"You know, Johnny. You should probably be using gloves," Sei said while staring at the wall in front of her, staying still as to allow Soap to apply the dye evenly.

"Don't worry lass, I’ve had worse things on my hands than hair dye," he said back, with the usual cheeky tone of his voice.

"It won't stop you from having pink hands for the next week though."

They settled into a comfortable silence, the sound of Soap's working on her hair acting as a comforting back noise. The conversation naturally started back as they waited for the dye to work its magic. Chatting about anything and everything : the upcoming missions, their futures, where they'd like to go on a date once they're finally off...

Sei looked into the mirror as she dried her hair with a towel after rinsing it. Soap was standing against the wall behind her, intently looking at her with a look mixing pride for his handy work and affection.

"Do you like it ?"

Sei looked at the dyed ends, the way the pink reflected the last rays of the day's sun. Before turning around, smiling softly at him in a way that made the corner of her eyes crinkles.

"I love it."

[right-agent]

prism & phoenix

[leavemetoexist]

Just got to the second half of disco elysium and all i have to say is... WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK AHHHHHHHHHHHHH-

[sysig]

You’ve caught my Wandering Eye ♥ (Patreon)

[99probalos]

getting reports from our inside sources that in gorilla interrupted 2 dex will be wearing his shitty husbands band tees throughout the film

[gingermintpepper]

What do you mean by read the Palladium on the tags of the post? As far as I knew no texts survived the actual telling of the Palladium theft? Am I mistaken? (Genuine question, not malicious)

Nope, you're completely correct! That's fully a mistake on my part (I meant to write read about the Palladium) but because I'm on mobile I couldn't edit the tags without completely deleting them 😔 I ended up just leaving them as is but I certainly don't mind the formal correction cause like, the Palladium very much is one of the story bits that we no longer have written record of. Thank you very much my scrupulous anon! o7

[kimmkitsuragi]

at the moonrise fight and wyll had a nice wall of fire going on. fight ends, the harpers run towards the other room ie THROUGH THE WALL OF FIRE... and one of them dies and now the harpers are mad at WYLL of all people ?????? and now im in combat with quartermaster talli and for what reason. please don't do this to me

[aeb-art]

tempted by abundance

[inkedhorror]

oh when did that happen...

[time-slink]

i really really love procreate dreams and what its capable of but i gotta say that so far i have some major gripes with the UI </3

[flatstarcarcosa]

bopping around a bit as things come to me. will compile this into the larger doc file later.

The sound of the security room door shutting is, albeit momentary, a sweet relief. Reese plops down in the chair in front of the computer monitors, tapping impatiently at the keyboard as Slade slides the door lock in place.

"So the computers are password protected," they say.

"Of course they are," he says, coming to lean over the chair. "Try Murkoff."

Reese enters three different variations and spellings they can think of. Nothing.

"Yeah, fuck this," Slade murmurs. "Virtual Wintergreen, audio only."

"Oh, now what?" the suit AI asks. "You're done being pissy with me and decided I can be useful?"

"Since you didn't keep my ribs from breaking, can you override the damn computer?" asks Slade.

"Oh sure, shall I just patch into the mainframe while I'm at it? Would you also like some nuclear security codes, since you seem to think that's how this works?"

"Billy, I am not in the fucking-"

"Oh, I got it," chirps Reese. "Someone taped the password under the keyboard. It's literally Madmin01".

Silence.

"Deactivate virtual Wintergreen," mumbles Slade.

"We're just gonna pretend you didn't show an embarrassingly boomer understanding of computers for a minute," says Reese, "y'know, for your sake."

"Why don't you find out if someone taped instructions on how to raise the blast doors under the other keyboard?" he says sarcastically.

"C'mon it's basic corporate security, there's probably a file path marked BLASTDOORCONTROL in the- what the fuck is that?" Reese freezes, pointing at a security monitor in the corner. Slade turns.

"Is that that fucking priest?" he asks, frowning.

"That weird guy that showed up after you went through the window was a priest?" asks Reese.

"Close as you get in a place like this, anyway," he says. "What's he doing?"

On the monitor, the priest looks up at the camera as he reaches for a breaker box. He holds a finger to his lips, and pulls the breaker. The room plunges into darkness, pairing with the sound of computers dying as red emergency lighting blooms a few seconds later.

"You shit sucking CUNT!" Reese yells at the blank monitor. Slade clamps a hand over their mouth and drags them still in the chair away from the window that oversees the hallway.

Seconds tick by.

No one, and nothing, emerges from the dark.

"Sorry," they mumble into his palm. He drops his hand.

"Those stairs by the elevator go to the basement, that breaker box is probably down there," says Slade. "I'm gonna go turn the fucking thing back on, you stay here."

"You are not suggesting splitting up," they hiss. "What happened to 'arm's length'?"

"It's pitch black and I don't know what's down there," he snaps. "I can handle myself but I can't keep tabs on both of us if I can't see."

Reese clenches their jaw. It's not said directly, and they know logically now is neither the time nor place to be concerned with it, but the unspoken meaning of the sentence is that they're now added baggage he doesn't need.

"Besides," says Slade, "this door has a manual lock from this side, even with the electronics down you can still keep it barred."

"I don't think that big fucker from the library gives a shit about locks," they say.

"Then you should stop arguing and let me go so I can be back before he shows up," says Slade. He unlocks the door and slips out before they have a chance to argue otherwise.

Despite it, they still stand and lock it behind him.

"At least this window is lower," they mutter to the shadows.

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

now that dumb ways to die is finally making a comeback, i need a compilation of rly stupid fire emblem gameplay deaths

[marklikely]

amazon's g.o. isn't even a show to me its just a vector for me to make silly music videos of middle aged (/thousands of years old) men falling in love to teen girl pop songs

[rancidarling]

oh good lord what am i even doing