#[also exactly why i am in this current situation LMAO.

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

looking at the dialogue i wrote up for the next comic strip and the sheer amount of sketches (sketches. not even the lineart itself) to go along with it........ at this point i may just have to start writing fanfiction. it would be a lot less tedious methinks

[musical-chick-13]

This is mostly a joke, but the most “???” thing for me in this last chapter was Yoshida asking why Asa would talk out loud to herself, like last time I checked, I’m pretty sure I don’t have a War Devil living in my head, but I sure as hell talk aloud to myself at every conceivable opportunity.

[targaryenluvs]

— BEST LIFE

pairings: spencer reid x fem!bau!reader (past), harvey specter x fem!juniorpartner!reader (present)

summary: you’d once been apart of the bau team, but after a situation and a falling out with your boyfriend you moved on. what happens when the bau needs your help on a case, which your boyfriend harvey is also assisting on?

warnings: angsty, asshole harvey cause duh, jealousy (spencer) kisses, cute harvey

wordcount: 1.7k

a/n: this literally sprouted in my mind and i just needed to write it lmao, if you haven’t watched suits or criminal minds go right now‼️ they’re both my husbands 😋

when jessica had called you into her office, you’d been calm. apparently one of your cases, which had you and harvey working together, was now of fbi interest. your client was currently suing a company for faulty wiring in his home, which caused it to burn down. and it was apparently not the case at all, the home was suspected to be tied into a serial arsonist.

what you didn’t expect was for your client to be accused of being the arsonist.

“you’re sitting here,”

“uh-huh.”

“telling me,”

“yup.”

“that i’m supposed to believe that richard jeena, the fifty three year old little man, is a serial arsonist?”

you shut the file infront of you, meeting harvey’s eye, “sweetheart?” he uncrossed his legs, leaning forwards with a sweet smile, “yes?” you leaned forwards as well, “that, is exactly what i’m telling you.” harvey leaned back into his chair, disbelief riddling his face.

“and the fbi is flying here?” you nodded along, “fbi agents?” you nodded again, “probably field agents or whatever they’re called. they’ll sit in on the trial, survey the scenes, collect evidence and all.” the familiar clicking of donna’s heels brought a smile to your face, “profilers.”

your heart dropped with one word, “what’d you say?” donna made her way to the two of you, plopping herself down in the chair next to you, “it’s those fbi profilers. yknow, they look at the room and can tell you if he’s left or right handed, blonde, mommy issues and all. nice little packaged criminal profile in seconds.” you couldn’t help correcting her, having dealt with your fair share of assumptions in your years as a profiler.

“that’s not how it works,” harvey swiveled in his chair as donna looked your way, “oh?” harvey smirked as you sighed, “that’s not how it works, we don’t just walk into a room and have it speak to us. we survey the place, fresh eyes and open minds. we look for the things that everyone else seems to miss. we put ourselves in the minds of the criminals themselves, to get a better understanding of them, why they did it and all. you work your way back, start from the victim maybe, see where they’ve been, what they did in the last week, who they talk to. sometimes the killers in their personal circle but not always. every case is different, we try our best to provide an accurate, unbiased profile.”

“i want to take you on my desk, right now.” you rolled your eyes at your boyfriends words as donna stared intently, “we. you said ‘we’, as if you know what they do and their job. oh my god, you use to be one. that’s the job you had before coming here! you have a degree in criminal justice, and you said your last job you were at for what, seven years?”

“i graduated high school early, entered harvard at a young age, graduated, entered the fbi at the same time as a— friend. was also studying law, sat the exam in new york since it’s where i wanted to be. finished up at harvard, i was mid to late twenties when i left, wound up here and am now a junior partner, capiche?”

“could just say your age.” mike stood by the door with a wad of files in his hand, “i’d rather die, mike.” harvey laughed, “please don’t incentivise my lovely girlfriend to killing herself mike.”

“as nice as it is to see you all bonding, and trust me, it hits me right in the heart, jessica wants yourself and y/n in the conference room.” louis spoke from the door as you stood up, “first of all, trust with you is fickle, second, tell it to hit you in the face next time lou.” you smacked harvey’s arm as he held his arms up, “friendly fire, i’ll put it out later.” you shoved him by his back before smiling at louis, “i’m sorry about him, he’s not a big fan of the fbi.” louis nodded as he followed you, “duly noted.”

“she’s right, damn pigs.” harvey joked as you approached the conference room, “your highness,” you grinned, “you never treat me so nicely when we’re at home harvey.” he held his hand over his heart, “now don’t lie sweetheart, i’m as nice as mike.” the snort that left your lips had harvey doubling over, “oh please, nice as mike? you wish.”

your giggles were drained from your throat as you stared at half of your old team.

derek morgan, emily prentiss, penelope garcia & spencer reid. the last name, and face you’d still not looked at yet. thankfully, harvey noticed your tenseness, “y/n? sweetheart, you alright?” there it was, that word, sweetheart. spencer couldn’t help but wonder, was it just a word? you always use to call him it, before you dated, teasing of course.

“yeah, i’m fine harv.” he nodded, even if he didn’t believe you he could always ask later on. pulling out his and yours chairs, you sat next to one another. “harvey specter & y/n l/n?” emily questioned as you nodded, “the one and only. and then there’s y/n.” harvey leaned back in his chair, whilst derek stared him down.

what an ass. is what he wanted to say, it was also what he assumed emily was thinking. “emily.” she glanced over at you, surprised at you using her name, “it’s nice to see you all. how’ve you been?” and the bewildered expression was wiped clean off your face, no remnant left. you were a damn lawyer, if there was one thing you’d learned, it was to keep a straight face.

penelope smiled, “we’ve been good, y/n. but we miss you, back home. you’re a lawyer now huh?” you grinned, “the one and only.” harvey squeezed your hand, you squeezed back. “youngest junior partner, ever. my dream. just hoping to make it to senior partner soon, take the title of youngest out from under this guy. i’m happy here, i hope you are too. but down to business.”

and for the next few hours, you’d sat and listened. overlooking the case files, giving statements, reviewing security footage from surrounding houses. at some point mike ended up in the room, having met with your client and being harvey’s associate.

you’d had the pleasure of introducing spencer and mike, the two undeniably similar. you felt comfortable, even betting with penelope that if they touched the world would implode.

“and how much would he loose?”

“127,478.23.” mike and spencer rushed out as the rest of you fought to suppress your smiles, “well y/n, seems like we’ve got a genius-off.” derek laughed as the two men looked towards you, “don’t worry i’ll still love you mike.” mike scoffed at your words, “what makes you think i’d loose?”

“because i know you, and i know reid. trust me, you’d loose.”

reid. not spencer, spence, sweetheart. none of the above, you’d used his last name. as if he was nothing more than a colleague.

“okay, we’ve been here for far too long. and as much as i’d like to sit here and slowly rot, i’d rather do that at the restaurant i have booked for dinner with two lovely ladies. y/n and i have a trial date tomorrow, 8.00am. i think, we bring him along, show him what’s to happen if he doesn’t confess, than toast victory champagne when said confession rolls through. how’s that sound?” if derek’s grin was any indicator, besides a big fat yes?

spencer wanted to puke, ‘lovely ladies?’ multiple women? this man was insufferable. you gathered yourself and harvey’s files, a hand gestured towards you, the last file in said hand. “thanks reid.” he smiled, “no problem-o.” your eyebrows furrowed, “never change do you?” spencer didn’t have time to respond, his brain was too busy blowing a fuse as harvey opened the door for you. “ready for dinner lovely lady?” they all heard harvey ask as you nodded, the four watched as you walked out, his hand on your back as he pecked you on the lips.

“reid, you alright?” derek’s hand rested on his shoulder, “i’m fine, why wouldn’t i be fine? don’t we have places to be? hotch would want to know their on our side, that they reviewed all the information. they’ll help us get a confession out of him.” derek sighed, “because you just saw your ex, who you haven’t seen in years. the one you never got over, happily living in new york as comfortable as possible. a successful business woman and lawyer, happily in a relationship.”

spencer shook his head, “you don’t know that.” emily directed a sympathetic smile his way, “we sat with them for three hours. we watched them laugh, bounce off of eachother for theories, quite literally finish eachothers sentences. order food for eachother without asking, and get their meals right. they held hands when they could, he continued to call her sweetheart. and now they’re going out to dinner.”

spencer’s shoulder dropped, they were right. he’d come here excited at the possibility of seeing you again, talking to you. maybe even beginning again with you. instead, you’re apparently with some suited up asshole. he was annoyingly sweet when it came to you though.

as if the whole three hours weren’t a slap in the face, harvey’s voice rung out through the hallway, “there’s my lovely lady!” rachel, who they’d all met earlier on, was currently guiding a young girl to harvey’s arms. “daddy!” if hearts were boats, than his was sinking. he may have had a chance beforehand, but now?

“is mommy here?” your daughter was currently situated on harvey’s hip, “why don’t you hug her and find out?” your arms were out in the open as your daughter squealed before running to you, “d’you have a fun day with rach?” she nodded her head rapidly as yourself and harvey smiled, he stood behind you, chest to back. his hand rested on your waist as the other moved aside hair from her face, before moving hair from your own.

“now, my lovely ladies, it’s time for dinner.”

lovely ladies, for once, spencer had made a mistake. harvey was going out with multiple women, but not in the way he thought. his daughter and the mother of his child, you.

his words and actions meant nothing, they would mean nothing. you were happy, so happy. you had everything you wanted, a loving marriage and man, a gorgeous family. something spencer hadn’t given you. a man who knew you could hold your own. spencer knew that too, but he couldn’t help himself back then.

right now, you were living your best life.

[toomiieimagiines]

hihihi

uhm so am i allowed to request again (i don’t wanna spam) 😭😭🙏

and if i am can u pls do a rui x hopeless romantic best friend reader (i’m totally normal about best friends to lovers lmfao)

so like the reader is always yapping about hot guys and it’s a little angsty at first because rui is thinking to himself ‘why did i have to fall inlove with someone that won’t ever choose me’ and then one day a hot guy comes up to reader and asks her out, reader is about to say yes but then she realises that she barely knew him and there was someone (rui) who had been by her side since day one and she figures out who she really loves (RUIII) so she rejects him and when rui asks why she just hugs him and says ‘because your the one i really want’ mwah mwah i feel like such a genius (i really hope this made sense lmao be prepared for a million bestie-> lovers and angst-> fluff rui requests 😼)

thank youyoyoyoyoyuuu!!

hi guys! i’m so so incredibly sorry for how inactive i have been! unfortunately, the fanfic writer curse caught up to me, and i’ve had considerably bad things happen to me! ToT

i had developed a really bad addiction after a recent episode - which may be why i’ve loved to write my characters so miserable, but they get a happy ending in the end - and have recently relapsed after a couple months. i’ve also been struggling with a lot of things, like being bullied again, pressure from theater, classes, autism, parental issues, memory of past trauma, having no friends, things like that. i’ve just been having a really hard time, so writing has been super difficult for me. i’m currently having some of the worst mental health in my life, and am un-recovering from other things i’ve had in the past too, after seeing the results of my recovery. sorry if this triggered anybody, i just needed to get this off my chest, and felt also that i should explain where i have been. you all supporting me has kept me going, and i hope you enjoy this one too! LETS END THE PITY PARTY!!!

in other - not so depressing news - here you guys go!! sorry for OOCness, obviously this is a more dramatic approach to a story! happy ending, j tried to write the inner narration differently for how you two were feeling at the time.. and ty once again for such a great idea, mama ^3^

“I don’t think I could stand to be where you don’t see me.”

If he has to sit here and listen to this one more time, he thinks he’ll go insane.

Rui Kamishiro loves you. He truly does. You’re his best friend, his partner in crime, his-

Never mind.

Rui loves you, but he absolutely HATES your taste in guys, and it’s driving him nuts. Nodding and agreeing can only get him so far before he wants to rip his own hair out, and tonight is no exception.

“I give up! All boys are dumb, I don’t need them!” You lament, resting your chin in your hands. It’s the same song and dance over and over. You swear off boys, you get attention, you get sucked in, and he has to pick up the pieces when it inevitably fails. How many times has he thought about how much better he would treat you now? He doesn’t know. He’d be a classical lover, he’d never speak to you the way those stupid unprincipled high school boys do.

Gross. That’s his best friend, why’d he think that? And when did he start being so self confident? He really outta look at himself in the mirror. What an egomaniac he’s turning out to be.

He shakes his head.

“You do know I’m still a boy, right?” He prods, trying to cheer you up. He knows this situation well, and he knows exactly how to make you feel better. Again he’d pull you out of this, and again he’d watch you fall in love.

He wishes you could be happy. He wishes you weren’t in love with being in love. You’re too pure for true love, love is disgusting, depraved, and unkind. You’re not anything like that.

“I know, I know, but you’re the only good one!” You point, words self-assured. “I don’t need a boyfriend, you do everything boyfriendy for me anyway!”

Ouch. Thanks a lot, that’s exactly what he needed to hear right now. He’s not gonna dwell on that last bit for now, he’ll wait until he’s home. Then he can- he doesn’t know. Cry, or something juvenile like that.

“So I’m back-up-boyfriend?” He masks himself in jest, smiling teasingly at you.

“Eh, maybe,” you snicker, “you’d definitely be cute if you weren’t my friend.”

He turns to his school work sharply, trying to mask his complete and utter despair. Ugh, why does he have to be so dramatic? His own personality makes his skin crawl with disgust and hatred, and that only makes him cringe more. He could think about how obnoxious he is all day. Maybe he should use that go home and cry pass early. He pretends to check the time, as if that isn’t all he’s been doing.

“It’s getting late, after this problem I should get going.” He mutters, scribbling some random numbers into his notebook. You yawn in response, being broken out of absentmindedly scrolling through your phone.

“Ugh, I wish you didn’t have to go!” You drape an arm over his torso, trying to hold him in. He smiles fondly, wrestling to get you off of him.

“I’d have to walk home in the dark then, do you want that?” He knows you’d never let him, and he sees it immediately.

Your face looks knowing, and you let him go right away. It amuses him at first, but quickly fills him with overwhelming pity. You’re so kindhearted it makes him sick. You shouldn’t worry about someone like him, it’s bad for your health.

“Would you like me to walk home with you?!” You shoot up, the idea of him not being safe running through your head. Maybe he should’ve kept his mouth shut. How emasculating! He’s not a helpless young girl! He’s just as manly as those boys who you long for, he’s not a puppy to be walked!

God, is jealously turning him into a bigot? He shakes his head once again, this time not just to clear his thoughts. He’s absolutely not letting you walk him home, it’d be mortifying. He takes your attention belly up, you should have a break. Maybe some time to yourself for a change? God, Rui, get a grip.

“I’m fine, I don’t want you out late by yourself either,” he assures, looking at you in haste.

“Ah. You have a point.”

“I always do.” He means more to that, and he wishes he could tell you. He wants you to see that even he knows what he’s talking about. He needs you to see him, just for once. Not as a best friend, or backup boyfriend, just as a regular one. As a lover who dances in the rain, or ties your shoes

He needs to stop. He shouldn’t think about you like that. It’s lecherous.

You two exchange goodbyes, giving him a long hug (much to his horror). He hates how feverish it is it hold you like this, it makes him feel guilty. His body gets hot, his cheeks flare up, his throat feels tight- it makes him feel like a pervert, even if his thoughts are the farthest thing from lewd.

He feels that everything he thinks about you is repulsive, though.

“Be safe”’s and “See you later”’s are passed between you two, and he walks down your front steps, now completely alone. His eyes scan the damp pavement, seeing the golden hues from the sky light the boring rock. That’s how he feels about you, he decides. You’re the sun, and he’s the pavement. He humors himself by thinking that your suitors are the clouds, stopping you from shining your light for him so he can grow weeds in the cracks of his soul. That’s what these feelings are. Weeds.

He wants to live life beautifully with you, he decides. He wants to tie your shoes, he wants to twirl you as you dance.

He wishes he could be the moon. Something of consequence- of importance, but he’s just the pavement. Not the earth, not the stars, not the clouds, or rain, he’s just a man made monster who destroys nature - you - and is walked over by people who do matter.

He should quit being this way, he grumbles, it doesn’t do anybody any good to be so flowery. He’s too girly- too weak. Maybe that’s why you don’t like him. If you’re willing to date anything that moves other than him, that must mean he’s on a completely new level, huh?

That’s what dreaming gets you, Rui. Crushed dreams and embarrassment.

He lets out a pitiful sigh, kicking a pebble with his shoe. He sees a worm in a lawn which reminds him of himself, he sees a couple shopping for a new game which reminds him of you, he sees a convenience store which reminds him that he’s hungry-

His life can be so mundane sometimes, what a drag.

He’s about to reach his front door, when he steps into a puddle. It feels like an appropriate representation of his life right now. A sense of disgraceful hilarity washes over him, and he begins to laugh. He laughs a while, he laughs as he takes his shoes off, he laughs as he peels his button up down, and he laughs as he lays in his bed. How dramatic he could be some times!

He falls asleep quickly. He has a dream about being on stage and forgetting his lines.

He wakes up with a thud, he fell out of bed. How embarrassing. He decides to check his phone.

Weirdo: RUII

Weirdo: wanna hang w me 2day?? u don’t have dance time right??

Weirdo: gonna kill you. WAKE UP

Me: I’m awake, sorry!

Weirdo: finally sleeping beauty

Weirdo: wanna get a snack? i’m simply starved…

Me: When?

Weirdo: an hr maybe…

Me: Okay :) I’ll tell you when I leave.

Weirdo: kay!!

He really doesn’t feel like being social today, but he’d never pass up an opportunity to see you. He’s an obscene degenerate when it comes to you, pouncing on your attention like a sick dog. It’s mortifyingly pathetic.

He gets dressed, throwing on a boring striped sweater. It’s getting colder outside recently, and he’s always ran cold anyway. His hands are shaky and nervous as he brushes his teeth, the anxiousness to see you making his body jittery. He considers breakfast, but quickly shuts the idea down. He doesn’t want to be stressed out - at least more than he already is - when he sees you. Twitchy hands lock his door, and he gets a few feet away before he double checks that he did, in fact, lock it. Pull yourself together, Rui! He screams at himself.

The walk is just as unexciting as he expected, albeit a bit chilly. He’s feeling thankful for the sweater. The breeze runs its hands through his hair, and he’s reminded that winter is coming. He always liked Autumn flowers the best, hibiscus flowers are pretty too, he supposes. It’s nice to have the warmth of the sun soothing his cold hands during summer, for sure.

He trips over a rock on the way, and his pants get wet on the knees. Khaki blends into an ugly brown, and he sighs. How unlucky, would anything go right for him today?

Turns out it will, you look really good today.

You great him at the door, practically buzzing with eagerness. It makes him smile, knowing that you do, in fact, want to see him. Or at least are acting like it. You’re a good friend to him, he’s lucky to have you.

“Rui!” You hug him as a greeting, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. His heart soothes, eyes closing in relaxation. Problems feel obscure and distant when you two are like this, despite his reluctance last night. He can forget about corrupt feelings - or misguided love- and he can just be your best friend. Despite his apprehension to be cared for, he is flattered that you, at least, seem to like him.

“Hey.” He breaths you in, his voice soft. He hopes you don’t notice, it’s embarrassing.

“Hey!” You reply, pulling away. “Big things planned, Rui!”

“What big things?” He asks, amused. “Big things” for you were junk food and shopping.

“Big things! It’s a surprise!” You put your shoes on, and he can’t help but feel jealous as he watches your hands tie them dutifully. He sighs, stretching. He decides to make it a challenge to act normal the whole day. No weird thoughts are going to beguile his mind, he promises himself.

You lock your front door, twisting the knob to make sure that it did, in fact, lock. This fills him with a child-like sense of delight, maybe you two really were similar.

Nah, not possible. You’re too pure - too perfect. Ugh, Rui, no more stupid thoughts.

He watches you check the time, make a face at a nearby bird, and cover your cheeks with your hands. You suddenly perk up, wrapping your arms around him.

“Warm me up, will ya?” You scowl at the cool air, grip tightening. He gulps. It’s weird he reacts like this, considering you two have done things like this all the time. It’s normal, so why does he have to be such a creep? His arms wrap around yours, running his hands up and down to create heat.

“Should’ve worn a jacket,” he chides, “wouldn’t be cold, y’know?” His voice is so casual, like everything is totally fine. It is fine. Fine, fine, fine.

“Gotta look good. I’m on the hunt, obviously,” you joke. It isn’t funny to him, but he lets out a laugh.

“You’re hopeless.”

You two stop at a convenience store first, and you all but sprint to the drinks. He had this ritual down to a science. You grab two different color slushies, and he grabs whatever odd snack catches your collective stomachs eye today. Today the two of you decide to split a cookie, and walk to the counter. The cashier gives you a smirk, and he averts his eyes.

“This it?” The boy cocks his head, and you get the memo. You immediately jump on the opportunity.

“Mhm!” You wink, resting your chin in your hands while leaning against the counter. In all honestly, he wasn’t even that cute. At least, that’s what Rui kept telling himself.

“Don’t worry about it, than. I got you guys,” he waves you off. Score! You think, but he adds. “If I can get your number.” Rui feels like falling into the floor, how awkward! You just scribble it onto a stray receipt, winking.

“Thank you! You’re the sweetest!!” You singsong, skipping along with Rui following suite. You immediately burst into laughter, throwing a fake punch at Rui. “What a weirdo! Like I’d call him over what, 1000 yen?! I don’t even know him, yuck!”

So you did have some sense, he feels like letting out a sigh of relief. You hold your hands out.

“Which one do you want? I got your favorite!!” You look so proud, and he wants to laugh. His “favorite” isn’t actually his favorite, but he’d never tell you that.

The lie started one day in middle school, when the two of you suddenly had a weird craving for slushies. When you picked them out, you had gotten a red one and a blue one, and asked him what he wanted. While he really didn’t like red, he knew you liked blue, so he said red. Now for the past four years, you’ve always ended up getting him a red one, thinking it was his favorite. He’ll deal with it for you. Seeing your blue tongue stick out with brain freeze is better than any sugary drink anyway.

“Red, duh.” He scoffs playfully, taking a sip of it. The taste doesn’t really bother him all that much anymore. It reminds him of you.

You always let him divide the snacks, thinking he gives himself the bigger half. He never does, but he eats slower so you think he did. You skip along, enjoying it.

“Y’know, this isn’t bad. Wish they had the brownie, though. That never does us wrong.” God, don’t make him think of the ‘crack brownies’ - as you two call them. Those are great, and he likes them, so you never miss an opportunity to shove them down his throat.

“Don’t complain. Remember the egg roll incident?” He points, laughing at the memory. You two steer clear of that section now, having gotten sick.

“Ugh, I haven’t thought about that in a while! I’m never eating an egg roll again after that day! Ugh,” you gag.

Moments of silly memories like this make him feel like he’s known you forever. He can’t even remember a moment where he hasn’t loved you.

“Where’re we going now, commander?” He salutes, following the trail of sunshine you left behind.

“Where ever the wind blows us, kind sir!” You salute back, pushing him along. Your constant checks of your phone don’t go unnoticed by him, and he fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“Who’re you texting? Don’t tell me it’s that guy.” He tries to sound casual, knocking his shoulder against yours playfully.

“‘M not a total idiot, I’ll have you know!” You huff, holding your phone to your chest. “It’s just somebody we went to school with a while back, ‘m seeing if I can pull the moves.”

“Do I know him?”

“Dunno, never saw you two talking, so maybe not. He was in my english class, remember, the only class we didn’t have together?”

“Ah.”

You two walk in silence, except for when he yanks you back from the collar so you don’t walk into oncoming traffic, which amuses you greatly. You two soon arrive at the small mall, and he tails you as you run with excitement. You two browse everything, constantly pointing out cute plushies, or interesting keychains.

“Rui, look! Look!” You shake him, pointing to the back of somebody’s head inconspicuously. “Wait don’t yet- Okay, now! He’s turning around! That’s the guy! What a coincidence we see him here, right? Do you recognize him?”

Ha. Yeah, he knows this guy. He definitely knows him. He’s the one who would trip him during passing periods, he’s the one who left flowers on his desk. They make eye contact, and it’s like all of his growth left his body. He’s just the same freak from middle school, he’s still thirteen.

He shudders at the guys smirk, sensing that he definitely knows that Rui knows him. He jogs over to the two of you, and Rui already knows what’s about to happen, due to the lopsided smile on your face.

Damnit, this is the first time he doesn’t think he can act like it’s okay.

“Oh wow, what a coincidence! Must be fate we run into each other like this, ehe…” You giggle awkwardly, a dumb expression gracing your face. It’s painful seeing you that way for anybody other than him, and he looks away awkwardly.

“Must be.” He answers, swaggering closer towards you. Rui thanks whatever God above because - despite his current situation - at least this asshole didn’t go to highschool with you guys.

He looks down at his shoes, and tries to shuffle away, knowing this jackass is about to say something. He’s quickly stopped.

“Who’s this, huh? Feel like a recognize him from somewhere…” He trails off, smirking through his nose as he turns his attention to him. “Have we met before?”

“This is Kamishiro Rui, he’s my friend! He went to middle school with us, remember?” You happily answer for him.

Ha, friend? What happened to back-up boyfriend? He’s a little hurt, to be honest.

He feels bitter, it’s unbecoming- God, he doesn’t care. He should feel bad for getting so angry over it, it’s not like you belong to him. He’s such a freak, getting attached to you like this.

He starts to pick at his fingers, then he plays with a loose string on his sweater. You two continue to chat like nothings wrong, and he keeps thinking. It’s something he’s gotten good at recently.

He stops feeling bad about himself for a second- a split second where he resents you, and wishes his pain upon you. Wants you to know what it’s like to be so disgustingly, guiltily, revoltingly obsessed with someone. In this split second, he can’t even find it in himself to feel guilty about it, which is unlike him. He wishes you felt love like this, that you were as psychotic about it.

But this doesn’t last long, because he remembers that he loves you more than anything. He’s lucky to be your friend. You’re a great friend, you’re an amazing person, you’re the sun, the sun, the sun.

He’s the pavement, he has to remember.

“I’m- I’ll leave you to it, y’know? Fabric store.” He stutters, choking on his voice. You don’t even notice, waving him off.

You do, however, remember to press his shoulder, uttering an absentminded “Okay, Rui, bye,” and he remembers again how perfect you are for doing it subconsciously. He lets himself feel the touch, long after he’s walked away. He deserves it after the trouble he’s reliving.

When he makes it to the fabric store - which he really didn’t need anything from, Nene had gotten some the other day - he can’t help himself from wishing he could just go home. Malls were always overwhelming already, and now his saving grace has the attention of another man. He walks through aisles, but realizes that he now has to buy something.

‘Least he knows that social cue, he laughs bitterly, running his hands across his face in frustration. He’s so ridiculous.

Meanwhile, you were chatting up a storm. It was your first time talking in person since middle school, after all! You feel giddy for a while, but it cuts abruptly. You feel a strange sense of urgency, something’s missing.

Oh, your best friend.

But where had he gone? You’re sure he was just here. You smile apologetically at the cute boy, putting on your best performance.

“Oh, I better go get my friend now. I don’t like walking home when it’s late. Was nice seein’ you, let’s hang out soon, ‘kay?” You singsong, stepping closer. You want to give yourself a pat on the back, you’re so cute.

He rolls his eyes, and you’re hit with a wave of uneasiness. That noise he made sounds strangely dismissive, he’s not the kind of guy to be a jerk though, you must be hearing things-

“Leave ‘im. Between you and me, he was a total freak in middle school. Probably is now, too. Probably likes you or somethin’, total nutcase.” His voice sounds so casual, like it’s not the douchiest thing you’ve heard all day.

You let other men walk all over you, sure. You let them cheat on you, lie, whatever. But you’re not about to stand here and insult Rui. He’s the only untouched thing in your life - the only person who isn’t cruel. He’s so gangly and awkward, but in the best way. You could live a million times and not be able to deserve him, at least you think so. He’s so unusual, and that’s what you love most about him. Little things like not liking loud lights, or liking the red slushies the best, make your heart buzzy with familiarity. He’s the one constant in your life.

You’ve been awfully worried about him recently, though. His particularly (as you like to call it) has gone to the an extreme, and it’s been a battle getting him to eat real food. You’re not blind, you see the way he’s been spacing out, or tapping a little too much. You just thought he’d been overwhelmed. He worries you to death sometimes, but despite all of his own struggles, he always seems to not care about it, deciding to always be there for you instead. Ah, he’s just such an amazing guy - no, not guy, he’s not anything like those other boys you talk to. He’d never insult someone like that. He’s not just a guy, he’s like your person.

Yeah, he’s definitely your person.

Your heart sputters at the thought, and you feel something you’ve never really felt before - save for hugs between the two of you that lasted just a second too long, or words a little too romantic. The feeling makes your mind fuzzy, and your heart hurt terribly with something you could only place as homesickness.

Oh.

“I,” you begin, backing away. “Yeah, I’m sorry but I’ll really be going now-“

“What? C’mon I was just messing with you, even though having guy friend’s kinda weird.” He rolls his eyes.

“Yeah whatever, I’ll call you back,” you say dismissively.

You’re totally lying, you laugh, you’re not calling him back.

He didn’t seem to like that.

“Damn, can’t even joke around with you people. Whatever, weirdo, sorry I insulted your little boyfriend.” The change in tone amuses you.

Yeah, good riddance, pal.

You turn away, walking through the mall with pace. It takes a while, but you spot him watching a pet stores aquarium.

He’s a funny one.

You wave your hands, trying to get his attention. He swallows, knowing that it’s probably to ask him if it’s cool to walk home by himself. Emotions are stupid, and ironically, you both think that at the same time.

“Rui! Rui! Hey c’mon, let’s go home, yeah?” You smile, face feeling warm. It’s a different feeling from when you usually talk to him. He looks at you, a little shocked. He had assumed you were smiling wide because you set up a date, so he turns his head.

“Where is he, huh?” He looks away, back to the fish tank. You shift in place, was he mad at you? You’re a little irritated at the mention of the guy, though, and huff.

“Don’t worry about that. Seems like I only attract douchebags, so I decided to go.” You explain, poking his shoulder. “Hey,” you start, “let’s just walk home, I wanna talk to you about something.” The idea makes you feel dizzy, but you’ll have to illustrate your feelings one day.

You can leave out the “I think I’m in love with you” part, you think.

The two of you walk in an excruciating silence, staring down at the reflection of the setting sun in the puddles. His heart tightens, remembering his earlier comparison. Even now, you’re so perfect. Even if he’s frustrated with you - despite you turning down the guy in the end (he doesn’t know why, he wanted to ask) - even if he’s ready to scream, and cry, and ask you what it is he did for you to be so turned off by him, he still thinks you’re the most heavenly, divine person to ever grace his view. He wants to be where you see him, he wants to be in your orbit.

“You’re like the sun-“ He blurts out, immediately regretting it. He didn’t mean to say that, God, he’s so fucking stupid. He sees you stop walking, smiling that same stupid, dopey, lopsided smile that he’s always so jealous of-

Oh. It’s for him.

He chokes, stopping to meet you eye-to-eye. You look up at him too, laughing giddily.

“What does that mean?”

He sputters, stepping away. “N-no it’s nothing- It was stupid anyway so-“

“No, tell me!” You urge, laughing a little harder. “What if it was something bad, ‘nd you were making fun of me? That’s not nice, Rui!”

“I- Hey-“ His voice goes a touch higher, a defensive tone rising. “That’s not-“

“Then tell me.”

“It’s just,” he breaths, trying to word it in the least creepy way possible. How does convey the fact that he sees you as a divine presence, that he sees himself as a worthless creature compared to you, without sounding like he’s hopelessly possessed by love for you? “I just- you’re so amazing,” he starts, “I thought of this stupid thing the other day when I was walking home - you know how I am - and well, I just thought of you when the sun reflected off the pavement - since it rained, y’know? - and well, it just- Sorry, it was dumb-“ He rambles, covering his face in anguish.

Nobody’s ever put that much thought into you. Sure, you’ve received a few ‘You’re so gorgeous’’s, where you’ve had to wonder where they learnt such a “big word”, but never something as poetic as that. The usual Rui-ratic explanation endeared you to him even more. You look at him, the smile never leaving. He’s just… so Rui. His stupid striped sweater, his half up hair - that you’d begged him to grow out - his eyes, whatever. Everything about him you treasure, and little do you know he cherished you even that more intensely.

“I think you’re the moon, Rui. Or maybe the earth, since I take care of you, hah!” You snicker, stepping closer to him. He takes a step back in return, and you grab his hands to make him stay put. His heart throbs, and he almost goes crashing down.

“I.. I don’t-“

You yank his hands, making him look back up at you. “Hey, Rui, I,” you look at him assuringly, “I wanna say something, and you can’t laugh okay?”

He holds his breath, so do you.

Fuck it, just tell him.

“I think I’m in love with you, Rui.” You gaze at him, the words shooting out faster than you can second guess them.

“I don’t-“ He breaks away, his fists balling up. You messed up, you think, you really, really messed up. “I’m not- I’m not going to- You can’t just say that because you got rejected. I- It wouldn’t be nice to- You don’t love me-“

“Rui,” you beg, grabbing his arm again, “holding hands on the way to school, cuddling while doing homework, knowing everything about eachother, these aren’t-“ You breath, “I’ve wanted somebody to love me for so long, Rui, and I was so blind to the fact that I was loved. But the love that I felt for you, - that I feel for you - Rui, isn’t the kind where I can be- where I can just be so- so normal about those things!” You monologue, saying whatever’s on your mind. You’re the rambling one now.

“I found myself comparing you to these piece-of-garbage dude’s I’m always with, wishing I could just date somebody like you instead! But now I realize that it is you-“

His heart falls into his gut, and he breaks free from you again. His hands move to his face, covering his eyes. His voice is broken and cracky as he begins to cry. “That was- you-“ He pulls you into a desperate embrace, arms holding you like you’ll disappear. “You shouldn’t, you’re wrong.” He sobs, “I’m- the way I love you is- You don’t understand, the way I feel isn’t normal I- My love is disgusting, and horrible, and depraved-“ He shakes, you rub his back. “You are so perfect compared to me, I’d never be able to- I love you so much, more than friends are supposed to, more than anyone’s supposed to at our age-“

“Rui, hey Rui please don’t cry.” You beg, smoothing out the ridges in his sweater. “I don’t- I don’t agree with that, and I can scream that at you, but I’m sure you won’t believe me. You’re not disgusting for feeling emotions different, Rui that’s what I love about you.”

“Stop- stop saying my name like that. It’s too hard to-“

“Rui, I love you. You don’t need to accept it, but I love you. More than being in love, more than being loved-“

“I love you, too,” his voice cracks, “that’s why I’m so scared. I don’t want to ruin a friendship that’s all I have, if this is just- I’m scared I’d lose you in any way, and I can’t live in a world where you don’t see me. I won’t. It’s sounds horrible but-“ He stops as you pull away from the hug, and wipes his face hastily. You put your pinky out, and his stomach drops again.

“C’mon, just like when we were kids. Pinky promise that no matter what, we’ll always see each other. That way you don’t need to worry anymore, y’know? I never break my kissy pinky promises, ever.”

Just like when you two were little.

He locks his with yours, just like you taught him all those years ago. He remembers your shared handshake for theater, he remembers your shared handshake for testing, and he remembers the song you two had to duet for choir - when you have forced him into it for a year. He holds everything of you so dear to his heart, you endear everything about him to you as well.

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

“I see you.”

“I see you, too.”

You two kiss your hands, then bring them down, still interlinked. You stare at him, and he stares back at you. In a moment of profound sincerity, you lean forward, and kiss him. It’s slow and gentle, and you unlock your hands half way through to hold his face, which he mirrors. His heart settles for the first time. You see him. He’s your moon, your earth, you’re his sun, his stars.

He’s suddenly alarmed by a quick pushing off of him, gasping out a “Rui!”

“I-“ he pants, wiping his mouth. “Hm?”

“we’re in the middle of a park!”

[mylittleredgirl]

m*a*s*h reaction post released from my drafts!! i don't know why i have been worried about making a Good Post when legitimately everything that could ever be said about this show has been said.

so i will SHARE MY THOUGHTS ABOUT SEASON THREE currently in progress:

ooooh war got a sweet budget increase in the off-season. pyrotechnics! helicopters! ACTIONNN BAYBEEEE

i'm falling more in love with everyone, details to follow

top of the list: trapper my bestie has been promoted to trapper my legit fictional crush 💕

don't get me wrong, in real life i would slap his face, but i'm with hot lips on this one. the hair, the smile, every time he takes off his shirt... take me to the supply tent or lose me forever

HOWEVER, i happened to notice that he is not on the header pic on hulu* and none of you talk about him so i must regretfully conclude that he will eventually leave the show

DON'T TELL ME WHEN

anyway i am cherishing him as one cherishes an old dog not long for this world

*speaking of hulu: i have now joined the henry blake appreciation society thanks to this One Weird Trick (reupping my hulu account for a month because i lost my shit after the dvds cut out at the climax of an episode AGAIN)

i went back to rewatch the episodes that didn't play on the dvds, and turns out a lot of them were henry eps (including the trial of henry blake and the one where he is waiting for news about his new baby...) (and also the one where he fell in love with a cheerleader but you can’t win ‘em all)

just in time to appreciate that scene in "o.r." where he tells hawkeye he doesn't want to be discharged so that he can keep doing real doctoring 🥺

"o.r." had so many good character bits!! even frank got some depth?? or at least an explanation for why he's Like That...

other eps i liked:

"iron guts kelly" -- felt like a follow-up to the one last season where hot lips got wasted and broke up with frank and then hawkeye and trapper had to sober her up, which i also loved! "we hate her but she's OURS to hate" is such a good character dynamic.

also lmao every time she cheats on frank, GET YOURS GIRL 😘

the frank/margaret thing is strangely compelling actually? it's like an inverse ship for real. will-they-or-won't-they but for breaking up. same energy though, like i'm glued to the screen rooting for them to fight instead of kiss.

"check-up" i was sooooo brave you guys making peace with the situation BUT THEN TRAPPER STAYED!!! i feel like my crush has been given a stay of execution

i don't know if i ship it per se but i really hope he and margaret hook up exactly once and literally everyone regrets it

i've seen some more episodes and have more thoughts but i need to lie down a lot first

oh one more thing:

i realize "m*a*s*h actors amazing" is not breaking news, but i'm specifically obsessed right now with how they are always interacting with props. i don't even mean the o.r. tools or scripted things, but how in every scene they're doing comedy while also moving crap around, pouring things, drinking, shaving, changing clothes, handing (or THROWING) things to each other, just making a mess all the time while still hitting their lines and comic beats. it's a master class in whatever that is.

anyway it's so good!!! more to come 💕

[possamble]

⭐️

hee hee i know i probably should have consolidated all the stars into one post but im gonna use this as an excuse to talk about multiple sections lmao

This is another part in chapter 4 that people haven't said too too much about for understandable reasons--it mostly just reads like a fluffy flashback to add to the emotional distress of the current situation:

(It stopped after a few months. Falin never really knew why, nor did she think very much of it — not until it came up in conversation again some years after the fact. “I guess I just felt really awkward — I knew you were a quiet kid, so I felt like I had to compensate, maybe,” Marcille admitted with an apologetic laugh. “It took me a while to realize you didn’t care if I had anything to say or not.”  “That’s not true…”  A brighter laugh, this time. “I didn’t mean it like that. It was more… hm… how do I put this?” She tapped her bottom lip with her finger and stared at the ceiling a bit, ears tilting slightly downwards. “More like, you didn’t mind if I didn’t feel like talking.” “Why would I mind?”  Marcille smiled at her warmly — it was a special smile, one that Falin loved, because Marcille was always smiling brightly and cheerfully. Or, she was calm and graceful, guiding the other students through a difficult concept with all the gentleness in the world.  But this one was soft and warm and so very sincere, Falin couldn’t help but hope she was the only person Marcille smiled like this for.  “Exactly.”  Falin didn’t get it — but then Marcille draped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, so she guessed it was fine if she didn’t. “Maaan, you’ve been growing like a weed lately — I can’t even fit you under my arm anymore!” Marcille threw her other arm around Falin too, clinging close and nuzzling the side of her head. “What am I gonna do if you get as tall as I am? Just stop growing and stay like this forever, I’m begging you—!”)

But! It's kind of one of my own favourite parts about this chapter because of how one-sided and limited the perspective is here: we're seeing Marcille through Falin's eyes, in the form of a memory, from when she was a kid.

My primary focus in this scene was to capture a floaty, kind of detached approach to other people that Falin had as a child--it wasn't that she didn't care, it was more of a childlike resignation that she doesn't understand people, never will, and just kind of going with the flow. She hadn't really learned to mask or be vigilant towards other people's moods yet, in essence. I hope that you can clearly read Falin's detailed and attentive adoration of Marcille juxtaposed with a deeply uncurious attitude towards Marcille's inner thoughts and feelings beyond what she's willing to share.

The other thing I wanted to show was a glimpse of just how much Falin was also Marcille's first friend outside of her family in ways that were so important to her, even if Falin never realized. In my head, the way she approached her social life was colored by some weird and deeply rooted belief that no one would ever bother with her if she wasn't as smart as she was. She had trouble getting accepted into schools as a kid, meaning that she and her parents did apply and were rejected--the magic academy is the first time she's ever been able to be in a social environment without her family, and she got in because she was already an accomplished mage who was fully qualified to be in the research track.

So for Falin to make her feel safe, and like she didn't have to be either helpful or entertaining for someone to enjoy her company meant a great deal to her. Falin didn't care, and couldn't even conceive of a reason why anyone would dislike that Marcille didn't have interesting things to say all the time. In much more subtle ways, Falin's unconditional acceptance of Marcille was much of a first and a revelation for Marcille as Marcille was to Falin.

(So it's unfortunate that there's such a disconnect--Falin thinks that Marcille is just uncomfortable with her like a stranger again. Marcille, on the other hand, is freaking out because her anxiety and insecurity have been renewed, and she doesn't really know how to handle the fact that she wants Falin to find her attractive and interesting and all that.

In a happier and lighter story, this would all be resolved without further hurt and miscommunication :) but we all know that's not what you're here for.)

[lauriejamesgrace]

i'm currently suffering and sick in bed, so with the release of the new season i've used my time to rewatch all three seasons of heartstopper, and both tao's reaction to nick and charlie in season one, and isaac's reaction to elle and tao in season three have got me thinking about the value i place on my own (platonic) relationships;

does anyone else know what i mean when i say that you can be fully, wholly, entirely in love with someone without any desire to make the relationship sexual or even romantic?? because like

my best friend is the actual LOVE of my whole entire LIFE

(don't worry they know all this this isn't some dramatic love confession i'm keeping from them but regardless,,)

'cause like i've always been someone who greatly values platonic love, but until the past couple years i always thought that romantic love was inherently stronger than platonic?

i'm in one of those stereotypical queer friendships where literally everyone is convinced that we'll either end up together, or are already together, or are at least in an unrequited love situation (either way around lmao it varies), and when i say everyone, i mean everyone, as in like especially my dad? he's convinced we're meant for eachother and that we'll never meet anyone else that gets eachother the the way we do one another, and my mum's convinced that anyone either of us date will undoubtedly have a problem with how close we are, even though it's a well established fact that anyone that has an issue with our friendship will not be a candidate for someone i'd be with, and to top it off they were the first person i 'dated' at the fresh-out-the-womb(or closet sidfjhs) age of 12/13

and because we then broke up it was obviously awkward for a little while, and we weren't as close for two or three years after that, but shared social circles meant that we remained at least partly friends, and then come year 10 (14/15 years old for anyone not british lmao) we became decidedly best friends again, but even then it was just your average, secondary school, best-friendship. my love for them continued to grow across our gcse years and sixth form, but it was across our first year at university (seperate unis!!!!) where i truly fell in love

we'd made jokes about our 'unhealthy closeness', and 'codependence' for a while, but when i say i made a total of zero friends that first year, because i was perfectly happy spending every spare minute on the phone to them, i am being completely serious, and i'm not even mad about it

either way, i'm sick and getting bored of typing so i won't go on about just how much i love them, but i assure you that they are my best friend for life, regardless of who else i meet in my future, and i can't help but refer to it as a platonic relationship rather than 'just' a friendship, because at the end of the day we are in love! and it'll never be romantic or sexual in any way because that's not what either of us want, but that doesn't diminish the strength or importance of the relationship we're in

(also we have discussed how we probably could fall in [romantic] love without much difficulty if we only tried, but we aren't feeling that way naturally, and we have no desire to change our dynamic as it is now so why would we ?! <3)

anyways where i was meaning to go with this was that part of me has been secretly terrified that i'm just in denial of my 'true' feelings, and that how much i love them can only be justified by a secret desire for romance. i was genuinely so stressed about them (or me for similar reasons) getting into a [romantic] relationship, and me suddenly having a realisation that i'll never truly be happy without being with them like that, but they recently HAVE gotten into a new relationship, and i am pleased to say that i am genuinely nothing but happy for the both of them

sidenote going back to the intro of this post lol: i was also terrified that in the event i'm not in [romantic] love with them that i'd end up acting exactly like tao, or isaac, as in like mad, or bitter, or jealous (not that i think their feelings were invalid, but they still hurt their friends by feeling that way and that ain't what i wanted), but i'm not even feeling jealous so i think i'm acting okay lol

thanks for reading xoxo

[itsravenbitch]

i’m officially leaving the community bc i just feel i am the only answer i need. but i’d like to say this. <3

often, it’s always “but what if it doesn’t happen?” shit isn’t going well now, so why not give it a FULL SHOT ?! right this second, cut the bullshit & just fully live in the end. i spent all this time from success story to blog. one, we don’t know these people up here. 😭 anything could be anything. two, we all have our own ways we want to live. recognize how seeing all these success stories isn’t enough? recognize how seeing these blogs say the same thing in different colors & fonts isn’t doing anything? bc it’s literally us y’all. we have to do it within. it’s not enough because YOU need to be enough. shit, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. this may not be enough to get some of you outta of this loop of needing to see success or what blogs or whatever tf anyone has to say, but i really hope it is. what got me here?? i sit and lay in my room fucking pissed and say “what if it really doesn’t work??” “what if people are lying?” what if this & what if that. and i finally told myself, bitch what if you actually do something? 💀 i’m sorry but i literally just went off on myself. you sitting here on your ass & feeling bad for yourself bc your sad about the 3d & you don’t know if it’ll work. what is this doing tho? nothing good. shit isn’t working right now, so why not see if it does work??? why keep being in a loop of not knowing when you could just try? so that’s it. i’m on my fucking way & i got my shit together. 🤣 truth be told, we don’t know anybody on this mf. 😭 so if you believe anybody, you better believe in yourself. quite frankly, who even cares if people are lying?? you’ll move on to the next person to give you hope & wanting it to work. so make it work fr. if you’re here because you don’t believe or some other negative shit, how is that helping?? GO. GO DO YOUR THING. we got this. enough is enough, isn’t? LIVE IN THE END RIGHT NOW. it’s better than the loop. be real with yourself and let everything go and JUST LIVE IN THE END. again, we got this! ⭐️ why did it take so long to get here lmao? it’s all within fr. is anything i’m doing giving me a good result? so why not do something that could lead to a good result???? anything is better than being sad & doubtful each day. law of assumption is real. but you need to be real with yourself first. how are you really feeling? what is the issue? are you truly living in the end?? and go from there. fix it & LETS GET IT.

“truth be told, we don’t know anybody on this mf. so if you believe anybody, you better believe in yourself” 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 EXACTLY! not saying anyone is lying, but y’all believe blogs when they tell you they manifested this and that. so why can’t you give yourself the same exact energy??

i love how you worded this too, anon. hopefully this’ll give someone whatever push they need to manifest what tf they want!! do you really want to be stuck in the same loop that you complain about, but also do nothing about ?

some of y’all HATE your current life and don’t do anything bc it’s “comfortable” and its all you know. but comfortable doesn’t mean that situation is the best one. there is so much more than the 4 walls around you. and when you realize that, you’ll literally be unstoppable!

[mediocreanomaly]

Legato falling for you HCs

Authors Note: I’m so sorry I’m a Legato apologist so of course my first post has to be about him lmao I am for sure not proof reading this so apologies for any mistakes

• First off, he’s got alot going on. So it’s most definitely going to be a bit of a slow burn for him to really like you, much less love you. Don’t be deterred though! Patients is key... •When he first meets you he’s pretty indifferent to you. I’d imagine you’d have to meet him through the Gung-Ho-Guns so he mostly just wants you to stay out of his way. •Main way to get him to warm up to you? Food. They say food is the quickest way to a mans heart and that's especially true for Legato. Don’t make a big deal of it but if you just happen to have extra snacks laying around for him? Who is he to say no? •Eventually, he might even start to unconsciously seek you out knowing where you are there's a snack to follow. •Slowly, the two of you even begin talking, small words exchanged between meetings, you sit and nod while he quickly complains about what ever is currently not going right with the other Gung-Ho-Guns •Now eventually these quick talks turn into full conversations. Legato isn’t exactly nice but he’s also not completely rude either as you talk. He silently listens and might add a snarky comment along the way but he secretly has begun enjoying listening to you, not to mention he can’t stop watching your mannerisms and notices you need a hair cut soon and- uh oh. •If you’ve managed to stick it out this far congrats! You’ve actually begun to get somewhere with the man. Now once Legato begins realizing he has feelings for you it’s a lot to unpack. He’s been through a lot and trusting someone is hard for him so give him some time and space as he mulls over how to handle the situation  • Once the two of you start dating not much changes admittedly. For one he does not want you to initiate any touch. He has a ton of trauma regarding it and one wrong move will have him pushing you back with his powers before you can say “Bluesummers”.  • The second thing you have to understand is Knives Millions comes first. Every. Time. It might take some getting used to but the man is devoted. If you can stick with him through those two things it’ll actually bring you a lot closer to him. Not many people would be understanding of that. •Legato does try to show he cares in his own ways though. Bringing you things back from towns he visits (destroys), giving you books he likes, ect. It’s small but it’s the best he can do to thank you for still being by his side. **Very slight spoilers for manga**  •Now. I do actually believe you could get this man away from Knives but it is a very long, very tedious process. Don’t ever shit talk Knives around him, don’t beg for him to leave knives for you, and don’t tell him knives is bad for him. He’ll leave just like that, instead go for a softer approach  •Legato doesn’t know how to live without someone commanding him. He’s never known kindness or love until he met you, so it’s up to you to slowly show him he can live without a collar around his neck. •It’ll be hard I won’t lie, but do domestic things with him in the rare time he has away from Knives. Show him how to cook, take walks with him, fold laundry with him, show him that life doesn’t always have to be a fight. Sometimes you can just...be. • If he opens up about his past? You’ve got him. He doesn’t share that information with anyone, and you are suddenly very aware of why he acts the way he does. Don’t pity him, but show compassion. Listen to everything he has to say and assure him he’s come along way since then. • At this point despite how devoted he is to Knives...I think you’d be able to finally drag him away. I think the main reason he’s so loyal to Knives is that he doesn’t know how else to live. Knives is honestly just another form of his abusers, another iron fist, another collar, another cage. But you? You’re like a small ray of hope, the first good thing to ever bless his existence. He won’t say it out loud, but he isn’t sure he deserves you, but he’s thankful he has you anyways. •For the sake of fluff we are going to assume you managed to get him out of the Gung-Ho-Guns, maybe you got him to reluctantly join Vash’s cause (unlikely) or maybe the two of you are now in hiding in a small town (more likely) either way it’ll be a bit easier to get Legato out of his shell, although don’t expect a huge transformation he’s still working himself out (but he’s trying!!!)  •Eventually he get’s used to a life without someone looming over him, it’s weird for him at first, but not completely bad. He also starts to get more use to touch, your hand in his, his hand pressed against the small of your back, your fingers tracing his face. There will always be a limit to how much he can take before he needs a break, his trauma isn’t going to disappear over night but he’s trying everyday to be someone worthy of you love. Besides, when he gets to wake up suns still just peeking over the horizon your sleeping face catching a bit of the golden rays that sneak in through the blinds...he can’t help but think that all his suffering was worth it, as long as he get’s to keep waking up next to you.

[penny-hartzs]

this is going to be long. i saw ur post about j0sh/rachel and the whole wild “grooming” allegations and i have to say it comes 100% from people shipping rachel with tom and wanting to feel validated by finding a reason to “dislike” her current partner. and we need to have a conversation with twitter’s obsession w white boy x biracial or woc real life shipping.

tom is their white boy of the month. also, if josh was white and a blue eyed conventionally attractive man you’ll see the allegations wouldn’t even exist cuz they would have not problem w the couple. might u, tom is also the same age as josh. i find a bit of racist too but i won’t go there. them just not considering josh attractive enough to be w her so she should be w her white attractive co-star instead.

i’ve been following rachel since 2019 when she was announced as maria in wss because i am a musical girlie and she’s been friends w josh ever since then. 3 years of friendship and 2 years of relationship. rachel is a very friendly. you can tell she befriends people very quickly and isn’t shy about showing that love to friends. the same thing she does w tom now she’s been very vocal to her other friends she holds dear as well. her legit best friend for ages is a man.

those people suddenly being so concerned for rachel want josh to be a ped0 so badly to the point of exaggerating the whole situation. and doing that just shows they want ppl to deliberately hate on josh and ship her w tom. it doesn’t come from a genuine concern. out of all the post i’ve seen wanting to claim she was “gr0omed” they want to make it seem like they started dating during wss when they started dating two years later (late 2021). and i was there to see their friendship to relationship turning point. rachel was 20. both were consenting adults. and josh was also 24/25 not “almost 30” like some say to exaggerate the situation. they have exactly a 5 year age difference. (both born in may).

i feel like so many people see age differences and scream so bad because 21 being the drinking age in the us has twisted their minds. they want to paint rachel as a little girl that had not agency about the relationship she gets in. as if she and her family haven’t been close to him for 3 years prior. i even saw someone say “hope rachel has a good influence in her life that can advice her” girl u dont know those people. why are u making some wild allegations like this. allegations that can ruin someone’s career and entire image. they have been in what it seems to be a really good relationship for 2 years now. rachel’s family is very close with him. and they are very private despite being “public”. they seem to share when it’s needed but keep the relationship mostly to themselves. josh isn’t very active on social media and frankly, i feel like since he is starting his movie career he doesn’t want to be known as “rachel’s bf” cuz people are already calling him nepo bf and that he gets roles only cuz of rachel and he is really talented. and the whole “he doesn’t even support her publicly like tom”. first, tom replied to a post made on his own account about his current co-star. and josh not only isn’t that active on social media but he doesn’t have enough star power yet. they also seem to have two different love languages. rachel is very vocal/physical. he seems more chill. the most important thing is that he was the person with rachel when she was getting mass hated and the fact she even has to clarify (in her 2023 appreciation post) that her bf was there for her is wild cuz people are too chronically online these days and measure love with public postings. and most people didn’t know she was in a relationship until the tgh press tour lmao.

another wild thing i saw from people is saying “they’re in different life stages and that’s weird” well, not really. they’re both in their 20s and embarking in acting together. they both got their first acting job in wss. they’re on the same train and live a life very different from ours.

i get people feeling weird over the fact she was 17 turning 18 when she met him and he was 23. but that doesn’t necessarily meant she was gro0med. not every age different comes from an abusive environment and it’s really weird. and i literally have met people that have been friends for a while and naturally felt in love and have been together for ages. like let’s find ourselves an honest concern to yell about truly.

Thank you for taking the time to write this, you gave me some new perspective on Rachel and Josh's relationship I didn't have and also thanks for sharing your opinion with me!

People on twitter and tiktok shipping women with their male costars is certainly not a new phenomenon but I've been seeing it grow insanely popular these last few years: from Halle Bailey and Jonah Hauer-King, India Amarteifio and Corey Mylchreest, Timothée Chalamet and Zendaya, Rachel Zegler and Tom Blyth and so on and so on. It doesn't matter that most of these people were/are in relationships with others (and are pretty vocal about it), we're still going to see fancams of the co-stars posing on the red carpet together (with a romantic song as the musical background) and tweets about their 'natural chemistry' are going to go viral again and again.

I think it's absolutely fair to talk about racism when stans are rooting for a woman of color to break up with her boyfriend (also a man of color) and get with her white co-star, but the thing is, most of them know it's wrong, so they come up with other reasons to justify the hate towards their fave's partner: Halle Bailey's boyfriend makes it easy for them, but Josh and Rachel seem to keep fairly to themselves so they had to dig deeper. So on the one hand, I think the weird allegations Josh is receiving right now are based on the simple (and idiotic) fact that people want Rachel to be with Tom. On the other hand it opens up a huge topic of conversation about age gaps in couples, and especially in Hollywood. I personally believe that five years apart is a perfectly appropriate age gap between a couple and I have no idea how Rachel and Josh are supposed to be in 'different stages of their life', since they are both upcoming actors, starred in the same successful movie and are in their early and mid twenties. I dont understand why it's even an issue for anyone and tbh I find it disheartening that Rachel has such lovely things to say about him and seems to genuinely love him very much only for her fans to call him a groomer and wish for them to break up. Grooming someone is a serious, dangerous thing and if online users keep using those words for situations like Rachel and Josh, they'll end up losing all meaning. Lastly, I know social media is a huge part of our lives, but I still find it completely stupid to judge anyone's relationship on their instagram and twitter activity. Have we learned nothing from those men who post their wives on their main page while simultaneously sending dick pics to models?

Let's end it with a pic of them, because they're cute and it's almost christmas

[crazy-ache]

Fanfiction Ask Game

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 21

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 184,514

3. What fandoms do you write for? ACOTAR (my current obsession), and I used to write quite bit for Avatar: The Last Airbender (back in the DAY with fanfiction.net and livejournal.com just to show my AGE), and I have dabbled briefly in GOT haha

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?  

when destiny keeps calling (Zutara, ATLA)

the other side of mercy (Zutara, ATLA)

surround me (Zutara, ATLA)

Call Me Selfish, Call Me Wreck (Elucien, ACOTAR)

Dear Lucien, Dear Elain (Elucien, ACOTAR)

Major love to my old Zutara fandom.

5. Do you respond to comments? I didn't always understand the importance of doing it and I used to be very shy in fandom, but now I do my best to always respond! I have made friends from engaging on fics on Ao3 which I love. It makes the writing experience feel like a community event which has been really fulfilling.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I usually leave on a hopeful note, but I did write water can heal, water can break which was slightly Zutara with anti Kataang vibes and the implications of the ending break my heart because they were aligned with the canon for Katara. I basically was so disappointed by the absence of her story in LoK that I needed to explain why it wasn't her fault and her own internal heartbreak about it.

Call Me Selfish, Call Me Wrecked is happy but also has my special mix of angsty-HEA. 7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them LOL. But maybe Courting Lucien Vanserra because I was just in a silly goofy mood when I wrote it. But I also still technically need to write the epilogue....shit....

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Oh! I used to not. @zenkindoflove influenced me lmao. Now I am getting better at it. So, yes, I do. I'm going to call it smut-with-lots-of-feelings.

9. Do you write crossovers? I have not!

10. Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but please tell me if you do LOL

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Oooh yes. Me and @zenkindoflove have written two works together. I highly recommend it to anyone else considering it. It was some of the most fun I had writing in a long while- a true creative experiment. We basically have our own "Canon" universe of crazykindoflove that we have established in our heads. It helps we very much have the same tastes.

12. What is your all-time favorite ship? Zuko/Katara was the ship that started it all for me. It taught me fandom obsession, fandom community, it spurred a life-long passion for writing....I think I have to give it credit where it is due. Elain/Lucien is getting up there. Their book might be the very thing that puts them into the number one slot.

13. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Divine Punishments....the multi-chapter fic I had grand plans for that I abandoned after the first chapter LOL.

14. What are your writing strengths? Metaphors. I can come up with a damn good metaphor. That's my poetry background coming into play. My writing is very lyrical, descriptive, and introspective. I love finding a beautiful metaphor that just perfectly describes an emotion or situation.

Because were she to ever wear the dress, those stitched sunflowers, with their bright yellow petals, would be a declaration to the whole world exactly what his heart intended. That she was the sun and he was the humble sunflower, forever loyal to follow her, forever in adoration of her shine; for the sunflower only grows facing the sun’s light, in an eternal chase of her orbit. It didn’t matter where either of them moved, he would be there, waiting to bloom at her smile. 

Like damn look at this. I still think about this one LOL

15. What are your writing weaknesses?  Plot LOL. I was a oneshot girl my entire life and could never tackle multi-chapter works with elaborate plots. Until ACOWAR (Elucien's Version)!!

16. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? I'd love to incorporate my Spanish but haven't had a reason to yet in a fic.

17. First fandom you wrote for? ATLA!

18. Favorite fic you’ve written? This is really hard. Several are near and dear to my heart. But I'm going to say ACOWAR (Elucien's Version). Because I'm really proud of the quality of the writing, the interesting take on Canon AU, the characterizations, and the time spent mapping out the chapters. I'm halfway through and it's already been beyond rewarding.

I feel as though everyone has been tagged on this one, so feel free to steal and share!!!

[graysongraysoff]

the most frustrating thing about all of it is when i ask my therapist or google or literally anyone else why i can't seem to get over the jealousy or the loneliness the response is always "yeah man it seems like you need more friends whose lifestyles are more similar to yours so that you're not constantly comparing yourself and feeling like the odd one out" as if that's like. even kind of easy to do.

like wow you're so right lemme just real quick go grab some new friends who *checks notes* are in their 30s but are not in committed relationships and aren't necessarily looking for them, like at least some of the same geek shit as me in at least kind of a similar way, oh and also live close enough to me that hanging out doesn't have to be a production every time. even though my local comic book store doesn't have a club or host any events and the book club at the library meets in the middle of the day on thursdays and is all retirees and my yoga class is nice but it's not like we can necessarily spend any time chatting and everyone either lives in dc or in baltimore and i'm a pussy who can't fucking drive so hanging out with people is always a production for somebody and my stomping grounds are limited to places i can get via public transit.

like i'm not saying i'm never going to make any new friends who fit these criteria, but what the fuck am i supposed to do in the meantime? because this isn't exactly something i can brute force, lmao, and whether you like believe me or not my current living situation isn't exactly flush with opportunities for meeting new people.

also have you considered that maybe i don't just feel like the odd one out? maybe i am the odd one out? what then??

[abyssal-werewolf]

uuurrrrgh I hate this feeling of "what if I am faking being autistic??? I for sure am nOt AUtiSTiC EnoUgH"

So. In an attempt to cope with this, I'm gonna write shit down

reasons why I think I am "not autistic enough":

I can use irony and sarcasm and it's a 50/50 chance if I understand it when other people use it

I am very low to no support needs, because I am extremely skilled at masking and "just pushing through struggles"

I don't have violent and/or screaming meltdowns

now: reasons why I am FUCKING OBVIOUSLY autistic and not secretly faking:

I mask all the damn time. if I didn't mask, I'd constantly stim, make weird noises, etc in public

There is exactly one person I feel comfortable being myself around, which is my boyfriend who is probably autistic too. I am like 98% sure he is. we communicate through meowing mote often than I'd like to admit lmao

I stim. all. the. time. In public I try to be subtle but it's still there. I do the feet rubbing against each other, vocal stims, biting my lips, pulling my hair (gently, not actually pulling it out), cracking knuckles, rubbing fingers against each other, etc etc etc

special interests. I mean they get blurry with hyperfixations sometimes, but my obsession with Warrior Cats, The Big Bang Theory, horses and Pokémon is on a different level. I always was like this, after I watched LotR for the first time, it became my whole personality for five fucking years. I watched the movies over 20 times each and the Hobbit around 10-15 times. same with BBC Sherlock and Supernatural (the later is still ongoing, the others have faded over time).

I love love LOVE repeating things. it's most noticable with what I watch, I'm currently on my 30th or something run of TBBT. same with routine, although that's less noticable, cause I don't have a set daily routine - but in my head, I always plan like a week ahead and I fucking hate sudden changes in my plans. and by "sudden" I mean four days or less of mental preperation time.

ugh eye contact. I just. can't. social situations in general, I feel so fucking uncomfortable unless it's with people I 100% trust (or if my boyfriend is with me, then I feel safe too)

I could eat the same 10 foods allllll the time. I do like trying new things because cooking is fun but it needs to be under my control and I need to plan it out in my head. and I simply won't ever get tired of chicken nuggets, pasta and pizza.

sensory issues UGH- light too bright, sounds too loud, texture to ewww - you name it. high-pitched beeping noises make me go nuts, they fucking hurt my brain, they're the worst but there are other bad ones.

I have ADHD and had severe depression and anxiety in my teenage years and also was bullied, which isn't criteria but indicators, so...

I have pretty damn high scores on any autism test I take. every single one, even when I downplay my symptoms.

this is all I can think of for now, I might add on in the future

[kurosurintomasu]

How did giegue become brain damaged giegue?

[Writer's Note: This post took forever to friggin write. It's written in-character as this Purple Guy. Also, it may have a bit more than the answer you'd want. It's very text heavy. If you're using a screen reader, then you're gonna have a bad time, especially whenever there's images. Have a friend read this to you instead. There's gonna be a lot of shit explained, from DG's origins to Gen's life outside of this. So, press Keep Reading if you interested in those sorts of things. Here we go.]

Before I can answer your question, I have to give you a bit of backstory.

My name is Sangen Demoli, but my friends call me Gen. I am a demon. I live in hell as its (technical) ruler. I'm 13.8 billion years old, as I was one of the seven demons that were created along with the universe. My father is BUBBA. Here's a picture of him.

[Writer's note: Bubba (the big black one) and Herbert (the small white one), creators of the Universe. Image dated July 22, 2020. Drawn by @bowbi.]

I'm an easily entertained guy. I created Earth, and some of its inhabitants, such as the Colormen, who were created in my image. For 4.5-ish billion years, I've essentially done nothing but sit on my ass while the current actual ruler of hell, Lucifer, tortures all those sinning souls. Even though I created Earth, and along with it, Hell. Why does he get the awesome giant castle while I have to live in a shitty fucking mobile home?! It's bollocks, I say, bollocks!

(ahem) Anyways, it was only until the mid 80's, Earth years, that I decided to do something with my life. I decided to keep watch on a small, rabbit-ish type creature throughout its life, watching it grow old, and eventually die. It lived in a village, located in a cave, which itself was situated on a floating island. And a couple years later I learned it was actually a he, not an it.

The rabbit-thing's name? I uh. I forgot. All these years going by makes me forget a lot of things. I remember what he looked like though! Lemme just....

There, this is what he looked like. This is... um... the small rabbit-ish guy. I also remember he had a crush on a girl rabbit-y creature for all of his life... her name was... um... Toroko, I think. Can't remember for the life of me what she looked like though.

Anyways, I was like a sort of... guardian angel (guardian demon?) to the little dude. Watched him grow into a fine young man.

But then... disaster. Sometime in Earth year 2003, he was murdered. In cold blood. By... I don't remember, but it was either a red ogre-type thing, or some megalovaniac- I mean megalomaniac scientist wearing an evil hat. I can't recall.

But, he was dead. I grew so attached to this little goober's life, that when I saw his mangled corpse on the ground, I couldn't help but cry.

I also felt like I failed as a guardian. I just. I needed to do something. So started the first of my many "experimental projects". I dubbed this... "Project Doppelganger."

Here's a very basic re-enactment of what I did in the project.

Of course, this is just a basic re-telling. There was no "remake person" machine that I've made... or at least, there was one, but Project Doppelganger took so long to finish because of me having to design, program, and use the machine. And it finally finished... on Earth date July 10, 2003.

It was called Project Doppelganger due to the fact that I basically remade him in my image. Thing about it though, was that while he had his previous personality, he had essentially no memories of his past.

He didn't even know who he was, so I had to make up some sort of fake backstory for him (which I will not get into, as the Project you now know as DG learned exactly who he was back in Earth year 2022, much to his dismay. He hated me for months lmao) just to make him... less confused as to who he is.

What does this have to do with "Giegue?" though? I'm getting to it.

Essentially, after Project Doppelganger, I never experimented with these sorts of "Creation/Recreation of life" projects. I've made strange inventions, such as a Shard Finder, but nothing as massive as Project DG.

That was, up until earlier this year. DG was playing this game. It was called EarthBound. I saw him get up to the final boss. The little runt on the screen in the spider mech, Porky Minch, unleashed what I can only describe as a horrorterror found in a childrens game from the 90's.

I asked DG what this whole deal was, and he just... started explaining all of the lore. Like, all of it. From the whole "George and Maria" bullshit, to whatever the "Seven Needles" plotline is, and even treating a fanmade project known as "Cognitive Dissonance" as if it were official canon, and basically explaining that as well.

When I asked him what was up with the horrorterror on my screen, he lit up even more and started gushing about this "Giygas" character, as I know know it is named. He continuously talked about his species, and continued to gush on about how it was underutilized canonically or whatever.

So, after all that, he told me "Man, I wish aliens were real," sorta like that Splatoon "I wish squids were real" meme. But... that gave me an idea.

I went home, and started brainstorming.

Now, lemme ask you this. Have you ever heard of an "alternate universe" before? Of course you have, this is Tumblr, for crying out loud.

Basically, there are multiple universes held in one entire Multiverse. Millions upon billions of them, even. And each of those universes have multiple alternate timelines. Think Homestuck. Doomed timelines, and allat.

So, I did a bit of research, and found an alternate universe, much like the universe the MOTHER series takes place. And in it, an alternate, doomed timeline where...

The chosen four, Ness, Paula, Jeff, and Poo. They were all dead. Killed before they could pray the Universal Cosmic Destroyer out of existence.

And tens of thousands of years passed by with Giygas being this... amorphous brainless horrorterror, not knowing what he is doing, having no control over his actions....

What did I do about it?

I put him in a bag. Like, a tote bag or whatever. Just, shoved him inside.

So, I had Giygas now.

Kept him in a jar, like a bunch of preservatives, or pickles, or other... unsavory fluids. What was I gonna do with him now? I had no clue.

Then, DG's words echoed through my brain. He's only like this because he "...was torn to shreds, molecule by molecule, due to high amounts of stress, anger... and PSI power."

I then knew what I had to do. I asked myself, "Y'know what'd be funny?", and started work on my first "Creation/Recreation of life" project in 20 years, "Project: Reconstruction," named after the "Reconstructed X" enemies from Mother 3.

I gave myself two rules for the project, however. The first one? NO PSI. If PSI was one of the main factors of him becoming the UCD, then I'd think I'd rather prevent that from happening to the VOIDLANDS.

Rule 2? No prior memories. Mostly because I don't want some evil guy roaming around punching people or whatever just because he doesn't have PSI. Also, those daddy-issue memories are one of the other main factors of his... self-destruction. Once again, better safe than sorry.

Anyways, I essentially had no point of reference on what he used to look like, so I basically went on the internet and cross-referenced a whole lot of shit, like the Spriters Resource, Giygas-based Tumblr blogs such as askgiegueandcrew, and... well... Highly unsavory artwork posted on that one furry art site (you know the one) just to get a basic reference for what I wanted him to look like.

[Writers' Note: askgiegueandcrew was/is my main point of reference for whenever I draw Gieegs (though it now has a major touch of my own art-style put in it whenever i do draw them)]

I even drew a blueprint of what I wanted out of Project: Reconstruction.

Here it is. Now, if I had the vision I wanted perfectly fine, then by the project's completion, Earth Date July 10, 2023, it would look a lot like this, now wouldn't it? Then, why don't you tell me...

WHY DOESN'T MINE LOOK LIKE THAT?!?!?!

I kid, of course, I know exactly why.

I took a lot of shortcuts.

A lot of them, in fact.

As I was putting him back together, molecule by molecule, I wanted to be pretty lazy, so I took a lot of them, but just enough to get it to this sort of "acceptable" state. These shortcuts led to a lot of the things you Hellsite Browsers know him for, his dead/blind left eye, his... being shorter than I thought he'd be... the fact that some of his limbs are still very... Giygas-y, red mist-type stuff... And, to answer the original question, his major high-functioning autism. (Though, to be fair, there were also no mind pieces to be found, so I had to make do with other pieces.)

None of these disabilities hurt him, per se, he's living pretty happily I'd say. But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

What did I decide to do to celebrate this "successful" project?

Give him to DG as a gift! I mean, it was the 20th anniversary of Project Doppelganger, wasn't it?

I'll let the following images speak for themselves.

Needless to say, DG was not at all happy with me. But then I explained what I did and, while still sort of pissed at me for BRINGING WHAT WAS ONCE THE UNIVERSAL COSMIC DESTROYER TO HIS HOUSE AS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT, he calmed down a bit. They live together now. I dont wanna say DG's happy about it, but I think he's happy about it.

And now, to answer your question, for realsies this time...

[melis-writes]

i need your cognizance … im kind of new to the al pacino fandom and ive binged watched his filmography in over 3 days and i LOOOOVED EVERYTHINGGGG but mostly just staring at his gorgeous faaaace (im rolling my eyes and biting my fist as i type this)😮‍💨🥵😩 but im rlly having trouble finding my footing with the elephant in the room … and that is him having a baby at his present age and dating a woman 50+ yrs his junior… like im in too deep now, i just watched his nypd episode and that’s how far ive already went😭(not complaining👀) but im also at this stage where idk what or how to feel about him doing that. obviously ive acquired an above-average-more-than-wikipedia knowledge about him (i like him a normal amount, trust me) and i won’t willfully overlook the fact that he’s kind of a womanizer and one that is commitment-phobe, so i guess him having new girlfriends isn’t out of the blue but to date someone THAT young? like that could be ur daughter😭 in fact his eldest daughter is a few yrs older than his current gf

anyway what im rlly trying to say is, i need u to weigh in on this and pls tell me ur opinion. ive read ur impressive work and it encouraged and inspired me to read the godfather as a book, and not just settle on watching it. and with that in mind i thought u were the right person to provide insight on this. as u can see i love al so much, im actually thinking of making myself a bday cake with his picture on it, similar to a pic i reblogged a few days ago, but im soooo conflicted on this. like i truly am. i know it’s bad to have parasocial relationships w celebrities (especially younger versions of themselves OMG) (but im rlly not i just love him sm and admire him) but im at this phase where im afraid that finding out more of his humanly desires would disappoint me? and yes ppl might say i shld avoid putting celebrities on a pedestal bc they rlly dont give a fuck abt who u are😵‍💫 and i would definitely love to be one of those ppl that could simultaneously admire a person for their achievements and recognize their kind behavior but also acknowledge their wrongdoings … but if i do that isn’t it kind of telling on my end, of my behavior and shaky moral compass😫? or, now that im in too deep, maybe im just trying to maintain this idealized version of him in my head and this is simply a reality i refuse to accept😭? bc honestly when the news broke out a lot of ppl were divided, with most responses pandering to eerie and just odd reactions, but a small minority claims a different take, along the lines of ‘if two consenting adults wanna make a family then why not’ and this rlly bugs me bc ??? apart from it being an awfully lazy analysis there’s just SOO much to unpack about this situation. like theres just way too many layers and there’s nuances too. one of the replies actually said men at the age of 60 should already be neutered to prevent from procreating ever again and why i kinda agree to it ?? 😶 like im so conflicted … like i rlly am … this is eating me out and consuming me i honestly dont know what to do.

anyway IM SO SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING AND FOR HOW LONG THIS WAS … im sorry for the overcomplication … pls take ur time in answering this im rlly sorry id rlly appreciate ur stance on this … I LOVE UR WORK SO MUCH IT KEEPS ME SANE. especially with the gifs🥰🥰🥰🥰 bc of u i still get to fuel my indulgences. THANK YOU

Ah my dear, welcome to the Pacino fandom, first of all. 🤣❤️ We Pacino girlies welcome you with open arms here lmao I know exactly how that intense ass Pacino brainrot can hit and how hard too. 🥵

You're right first of all about the fact that there's a lot to unpack beyond the "it's two consenting adults in a relationship" piece but here's the thing, it's not meant for us to unpack. At the end of the day, all we can do is hear news, gossip and read articles about Al's relationship and this and that but we don't know how much of it is actually true and what's really going on, and we can't know. It really has nothing to do with any of us, and those two don't care what the public think either. It's Al and his gf's private life and judging on how shit broke out, they seem to have a lot more to worry about on their plate than anyone else's reactions.

Al is basically a womanizer from what I've read lmao. He always really has been and I know things obviously changed when he got older but an early article that came out saying Al and his gf are dating mentioned the age gap doesn't bother either of them and his gf has dated men around the same age and even older than Al. This is their personal and private life, after all. Men can have children at a very old age, this is just how science works lmao although it can be baffling at 80+, it's still a thing. From what the gossip online says, it looks like this was an unplanned thing and Al isn't doing so good. He doesn't seem to be jumping over the moon about everything from what I read either. I think this is hard for him, tbh.

And some people may think it's weird someone as old as Al is still having sex but given his track record, I'm not surprised at all lmao. To avoid disappointment from celebrity parasocial relationships and putting them on pedestals, you need to come to an understanding that you're also recognizing and putting up (in a way) their flaws on that pedestal too. Al is not a perfect human being, nobody is, but he isn't out here trying to be perfect or live up to anyone else's definitions either nor should he.

I love that you admire and love Al like the rest of us, but you also need to come to an understanding about the things he's done or said or whatnot that you don't agree with or necessarily like. He's just a human being at the end of the day, it's so complex. Don't think too hard on it, because everyone has their flaws and mistakes and as we recognize this, we can still love them for the great things they do. That's really the only thing you need to do.

I think the fandom as a whole looked way too far into this man's personal life. It does not effect us whatsoever and it's honestly none of our business. Al doesn't owe us anything and he's not trying to be a role model to us; we shouldn't be this held up about his personal life. I know it can be hard not to care, but sometimes all you need to do is acknowledge it, accept it, and move on.

I would also recommend reading the biography "A Life on The Wire" by Andrew Yule. It has a lot about Al's life from early days, to romance, to his personality and everything inbetween. It's seriously extremely detailed and gives you a whole new insight on just who that man is!

Feel however your heart wants to feel. You don't have to get held up in Al's personal life like others or form a strong opinion just because someone else has. Something like this doesn't need to stop you from admiring what a phenomenal actor Al is and how he's a fine ass man too. 😭

[atomiciva]

Hi hi!! Just so say in advance but for some reason i cant write questionmarks so ive just put them in brackets of where they go lmao. I wanted to shoot you a message and so I hope you dont mind but I was wondering what sort of portfolio you submitted to be able to work on Unicorn Warriors Eternal, I currently am an animator who has been struggling on getting a 2d animation job for a few years now and I was wondering if you would have any advice for someone who feels like they are struggling to get into the industry (Questionmark) Your animation for the show is amazing and I love the little bit of fanart that you made of melinda and edred too!! Once again, sorry if this is a bother but I figured that I would atleast try to ask :)

Heya! No worries at all!

I still feel super lucky honestly and I've only ever been at this one studio so far, so I don't know how helpful this is gonna be but I'll give it my best shot haha

This was my old showreel straight from the end of university which I had on my portfolio site when I applied:

https://youtu.be/42ubnrPGx2Y

I was lucky in the fact that the main thing I enjoyed doing during uni was animation clean-up in TVPaint, aaaand then I saw the job listing looking for... animation clean-up in TVPaint! I'm still not the best at rough animation, but as you can see my reel had lots and lots of clean-up examples, and that was exactly what Studio Zmei was looking for.

So, first tip: Focus your showreel on what you want to get a job for! If you're applying for rough traditional animation, show your roughs vs the final thing, or a clean-up heavy reel like mine if you wanna do clean-up, or a reel just for ToonBoom rigged animation if that's what you're applying for.

Second? Tip? Look for more obscure studios, or ask around your local studios (if you have any) if they offer internships or even junior level jobs? Studios are often really biased towards local people, and I was lucky that Zmei just happened to be situated in my home city. We often get interns not from any listings but just from people showing interest in an email. But I also know that's a bit unusual and a lot of studios are more closed off?? And going back to the more obscure studios part: The more well known a studio is, the more insane the competition to get a spot is, hence why usually it's not so much your portfolio's fault rather than the huge influx of candidates. This is where looking at general animation job listings sites can help a lot, and I even found Zmei's listing here in the first place:

https://animatedjobs.com/

aaand there's one for games too: https://gamejobs.work/

Lots of studios use these and they also have twitter/instagram pages to keep you updated as well. If a job is listed as remote, go for it! A lot of smaller studios that handle outsource animation are often starved for animators. (a lot of those do 2D rigged animation in ToonBoom or Adobe too, so it's def worth making a fresh reel for that if it's up your alley) Following a lot of studios on social media and especially LinkedIn helps too, as some of them post listings there exclusively.

And, third tip - there's no shame in starting small. I constantly get spammed by studios looking for mobile game animators or educational video animators on LinkedIn. Sure not all of those are gonna be worth looking into, but a lot of my friends started off like that. Every little bit of experience counts and builds up your CV. It's really hard to jump straight into being a rough animator, or a designer, or a storyboarder. Even my role of doing clean-up is considered more junior, and we had lots of people who did only coloring and shading too. And the more entry level version of a storyboard artist would be a storyboard revisionist. Everyone starts somewhere!

Other things like putting a direct link or linktree to your portfolio site or showreel easily accessible on all of your social medias could also help, as recruiters often have no time to dig for that stuff. (altho I'll be honest I've only ever been approached once (1) by a local studio on just instagram, so that's a really rare occurrence. still helps to be prepared though!)

I hope this was somewhat helpful haha. Good luck!!!